#i know i said ill stop today but its fun

[camzverse]

apologizing in advance for the person i will become when the next pjo show season comes out

[shmaptainwrites]

𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐖𝐑𝐎𝐍𝐆 𝐈𝐃𝐄𝐀 [𝐉𝐀𝐌𝐄𝐒 𝐖𝐈𝐋𝐒𝐎𝐍]

PAIRINGS — James Wilson x ex-wife!Reader

SUMMARY — James and Reader have not been on great terms since their divorce, but an emerging situation with their son forces them to put aside their differences and work together and hope that past feelings don't resurface

WARNINGS — hospitalization, chronic illness, swearing, complicated feelings (idk y'all they're divorced what more can I say)

NOTE — Okay so I have so many things to say about this fic, but if I say them all this post will be way too long it already is like this came up as 33 pages in my docs but this is a day late birthday present for @shots-of-wilson-and-whiskey who also provided the James pic I hope you had such a fun day and a great year of simping ahead!

Pronounciation — Mahlet = Ma-h-let | Hennock = Hey-knock

Ever since you had become a mother, birthday parties were the bane of your existence. The sugar overload, the loud noises, the cleanup afterwards, all amounted to your own personal hell. Yet, you would move hell or high water for your son to have the most enjoyable party every single year. 

Today was no different, eight years later you were still breaking your back to ensure every small detail was perfect, from the pin the spikes on the stegosaurus to the cake you’d spent at least a month painstakingly training to make. 

A friend of yours, another parent from the school your son Julian went to, came over in the kitchen to give you a hand with some of the snacks. 

“How are you managing here?” she asked and you took a deep breath. 

“Managing is the operative word,” you chuckled. “Kids having fun out there?” 

“Yeah, loads, you’ve outdone yourself again,” she assured you. “Will James be making an appearance?” 

“I stopped asking myself that question after we got divorced,” you said while fixing the plate of vegetables and dip. “He’s supposed to, he promised Julian, but we all know how that ends.” 

There seemed to be a bit of commotion out in the backyard and you tried to assess what was happening from the window, but your suspicions that something was off was confirmed when Julian’s best friend, Hennock, came rushing inside.

“Mrs. Wilson, something’s going on with Julian,” he said and you frowned while your friend followed you outside to see the kids circling around Julian who seemed to be gripping onto his chest. 

“Jay, what’s going on? Are you okay?” you bent down to be closer to his eye-level, trying to understand what was happening to your son. 

“Can’t…” he pointed to his mouth. “Can’t…breathe,” he wheezed. 

Your eyes went wide, but before you could grab him and run for the car he began to cough and you hoped and prayed there was just something caught in his throat that would make its way out, but with the coughing came spatters of red all over your white shirt.

“Mahi,” you looked over at your friend quickly while picking Julian up. You didn’t have to say a word, she already knew what she needed to do. 

Living close to the hospital, it was worth it to drive yourself, that way you didn’t have to wait for an ambulance to get to you. You had made the mental calculations many times before, just in case there was an emergency and now it was finally coming in handy. 

When you got Julian in the car, you checked in on his breathing, it was still laboured, but at least at this point he was getting in the air, even if he was coughing up blood. 

You turned on the car and began driving while calling your ex-husband with one hand. The line rang until you reached voicemail so you called again, expecting at least this time for him to pick up, only to hear the tone once more. 

“Dammit James!” you threw your phone down on the seat next to you knowing you’d deal with him later, now you needed to focus on getting to the hospital without killing either of you. 

Barely paying attention to how your car was parked, you grabbed Julian out of the back seat and ran into the ER with him. 

“Ma’am, what’s going on?” a nurse came and asked you as you put Julian down. 

“My son, he-he’s having trouble breathing and he’s coughing up blood I-I-I don’t know what’s happening.” 

Before you could say a word they had whisked Julian away and another nurse came to ask you some questions about his medical history and any information that may be important to the doctors treating him. 

“Where’s my son?” you asked, “I want to see my son.” 

“Ma’am I’m sorry, but the doctors are working on getting his airway cleared, you can’t be with him right now.” 

You pressed your lips into a thin line and bit back your tongue. There were a million and one things you wanted to say to the nurse, but none of them would help your situation. On the other hand, finding your ex might. 

So instead of finding the waiting room you went over to the elevator and made your way up to the oncology department, briskly walking through the halls until you reached his office. At this point, you didn’t bother knocking, opening the door to see him sitting down over a file and talking with House. 

“Hey Greg,” you said in a fake cheery voice. “Mind giving us the room?” 

“Oh, this is the wife with the kid, did you forget to pay child support?” House asked James. 

“Get out, Greg,” you said warningly and he listened, instead opting to steal the rest of James’ sandwich and slipping past you, while wishing James good luck and letting you slam the door shut behind you. 

“What’s going on?” James asked, clearly confused by your demeanour and appearance. “If this is about the party I didn’t forget I was-wait is that blood,” he stood up from his chair and came over to you. 

“What’s going on is you didn’t pick up your fucking phone,” you said angrily. 

“Hey,” James looked at you sternly. “What is going on?” he repeated his question, this time more pointedly. 

You could feel your lips begin to tremble and your vision became blurred while you shook your head. 

“Who’s blood is on your shirt?” 

You chewed on the inside of your cheek, “It’s Julian’s.” 

“Julian-I-what happened?” his demeanour changed from frustrated with your attitude towards him to worrying for his son. 

“I-I don’t know he said he couldn’t breathe and then he started coughing up blood and I just picked him up and drove him here a-and now they won’t let me see him.” 

“You drove him?” he asked incredulously. “You didn’t think to maybe call an ambulance?” 

“That’s what you’re hung up on? That I decided to drive because it was faster than getting him an ambulance?” 

“That’s not what I-,” 

“Yes it is,” you stepped back. “I wouldn’t have needed an ambulance if you were there.” 

James sighed and chose to ignore your comment, 

“Where is he?” he asked. 

“Emergency room,” you muttered. “They won’t let me see him, you need to talk to them, say something, anything.” 

James nodded his head, at least you could agree on that. He walked with you out of the office and to the elevator so you could go to the ER together and figure out what the hell was happening to your son. 

When you got down there and James began speaking to the nurses, they informed him that Julian had been moved to the ICU and his respiration was being closely monitored while they ran a few tests to see what had caused the arrest. 

You had to fight to hold yourself upright when they pulled back the curtain and you could see Julian hooked up to all the machines and with a ventilator tube stuck down his throat. You covered your mouth with your hand and shook your head again. This couldn’t be happening, now you were supposed to be cutting into cake and opening presents, not sitting in the ICU. 

You stepped inside with James and he closed the curtain to give you a bit of privacy and decided to look over his chart and see if they had given any relevant information there. Seeing none, he turned his attention over to you, seeing your eyes filled with tears, unable to tear your gaze away from your son. 

James walked over to you and cautiously put a hand on your shoulder, eventually encouraging you to turn around so he could pull you into his arms. You allowed your tears to soak his white coat, gripping onto him so tightly because there was nowhere else to hold. 

You could hear his breathing change, accompanied by the small sniffles and you knew he was doing just as bad as you were right now, wiping the tears from his own eyes as he finally allowed himself to see his son as he was, sick, helpless, vulnerable, and only moments ago, without his dad’s help when he needed him most. 

Your moment was interrupted when you heard the curtain being pulled back and you saw two doctors standing there. You pulled away from James and wiped whatever remaining tears were in your eyes so you could properly address them.

It seemed as though one of the doctors recognized James and when he looked down at the file and saw the name he made the connection internally. 

“Can we talk to you guys out in the waiting room for a moment?” he asked. 

“I don’t want to leave my son,” you shook your head. 

“Ma’am, this is the ICU and the visiting hours are very strictly adhered to, I think your husband maybe got lucky and pulled a few strings so you could see your son, but we need to leave now.” 

“He’s not my husband,” you muttered and reluctantly followed them out of the makeshift room and towards the waiting area. 

“Did you find out what was wrong?” James asked, crossing his arms over his chest. “I looked at his chart. You took him for an emergency CT and bloodwork.” 

“We also ran a few other tests,” the doctor began explaining. “From the medical history your, um, ex wife gave I had a suspicion of something so we ran a sweat test to check for elevated chloride levels and it just came back positive.” 

“Chloride levels?” you looked up at James. “What does that mean?” 

James sighed and ran a hand through his hair, “It means Julian has cystic fibrosis.” 

“I-I’ve heard of that, is it curable?” you asked. 

“I’ll leave you guys with Dr. Liu, he deals with the pediatric cystic fibrosis cases and will be able to answer your questions better than I can,” he wished you a good day and left you alone with the other doctor. 

“Cystic fibrosis is manageable-,” 

“So you can’t cure it,” you reiterated. 

The doctor shook his head, “Unfortunately there is no cure for CF yet, but many people have been able to live longer and happy lives with the medical technology now available.” 

James was silent, taking in all the information that was being presented. 

“How did he get it? Is it contagious or-or was it just always there?” you asked. 

“It’s a genetic condition, so he’s always had it, the symptoms have just gotten to the point where they’re now visible,” the doctor explained.

“I-It’s genetic so one of us is a carrier?” you pointed to you and James. 

“We both are,” James said. “Both parents have to be carriers to pass it down to their child, right?” 

Dr. Liu nodded and you pressed your lips together. 

“C-Can you just tell us what this means for right now?” you asked. “I just think-I think I need a minute.” 

Dr. Liu nodded his head and explained they were giving Julian medication to help with the infection and airway damage that caused him to cough up blood, then they would get him on some bronchodilators to help with his breathing for the time being while they assessed what other issues the cystic fibrosis had potentially caused in his body. He’d have to stay at the hospital for a while, but hopefully could be moved to the pediatric ward within the next day or so.

“We can talk more about what Julian’s medical journey will look like later, I’ll give you guys some time together and if you have any questions, Wilson’s got my pager and knows where my office is.” 

You nodded your head and thanked him quietly as he left the waiting area. You finally sat down on one of the chairs. 

James took the seat next to you and you covered your face with your hands. 

“We couldn’t give him a functional family and a happy home and now we’ve given him a chronic medical condition to top it off.” 

“Blaming ourselves isn’t going to do anything for Julian,” James said. 

“And sitting around here is?” you asked and James sighed. 

“No, no it��s not.” 

You sat there in silence for a little while longer before you noticed James stand up and motion for you to follow him. As much as you didn’t want to listen to him and just sit and wait until they would let you be with Julian again, you got up and followed him to one of the OR supply closets. He used a key to unlock the door and sifted through some materials until he found what he was looking for, pulling out a scrub shirt in your size and handing it over to you. 

You looked down at your own shirt, seeing the red specks of Julian’s blood and closed the door behind your both, pulling your shirt off over your head and handing it to James. You were about to put the other shirt on when you noticed the flecks of dried blood against your chest. 

While you eyes were transfixed on that, James had grabbed an alcohol wipe package from the shelves and tore it open with his teeth, removing the wipe and reaching over to help you clean the blood off yourself. 

“James, I can do it myself,” you reached for the wipe, but he pulled it away. 

“You’ve got some on your neck too, just let me take care of it,” he insisted. 

You knew better than to cause a fight over something trivial like this right now so you put your hands down, watching as James tossed your shirt over his shoulder and carefully began wiping away the specks of your son’s blood off your chest, collarbone, and neck. 

“Have you eaten today?” he asked you while holding your face to tilt it to the side so he could get a spot he’d missed earlier. 

“No, why?” 

“Because it’s his birthday, you’d always forget to eat until dinner and even then it would be scraps from the party until I forced you to eat something better,” he recounted. “Let’s just go grab something from the cafeteria before we go back to the ICU, okay?” 

“Will it make a difference if I say I’m not hungry?” you asked. 

“You can’t take care of Julian if you’re not taking care of yourself.” 

You scoffed and pulled the shirt over your head, “And you’ve suddenly become an expert on taking care of your family?” 

“Believe it or not, we were once happy and there was a reason we got married and decided to have a child together.” 

“And there’s a reason we got divorced too,” you added and opened the door behind you.

You didn’t go to the cafeteria, instead heading back to the ICU waiting room knowing either visiting hours would have to start eventually or they’d move Julian to his own room and you could finally sit with him. 

James clearly hadn’t followed you so you ended up alone again, wringing your hands and waiting for some sort of news. 

Eventually, you felt a bag drop on your lap and you looked up and saw James standing overtop of you. You looked inside and saw a package of a sandwich, a small bag of chips, and a water bottle. 

You knew he was right, that if you didn’t take care of yourself you wouldn’t be able to take care of Julian, so you forced yourself to eat, even if you didn’t want to. 

A little while later, Dr. Liu had returned and informed you that they were moving Julian to the pediatric ward and you could stay with him there in his room. When you joined him there, James had taken off his white coat and tossed it on one of the chairs, rolling up the sleeves of his shirt and sitting down next to Julian’ taking one of his hands in his own. 

“Don’t you have patients you need to see?” you asked, sitting on the opposite side of the hospital bed. 

“I told Cuddy I needed the day, someone else is taking care of it for me,” he said, not removing his gaze from Julian. 

With the two of them sitting next to each other like that, you could clearly see the similarities Julian had with his father. They shared the same eyes and nose, and when they smiled they had the same little creases around their eyes. 

You wished that’s what you could have been looking at, them smiling together, instead of the frown etched onto James’ face and Julian still fast asleep while an oxygen mask now delivered the air he needed to help him breathe. 

“Do you know much about cystic fibrosis?” you asked James, brushing your thumb against Julian’s other hand. 

“Only that it mainly affects the digestive system and the respiratory tract,” he explained. “I’m not too familiar with how it's managed, just that there’s regular doctor’s visits and probably some medication and therapies involved.” 

You could feel a small stirring and you looked down and saw Julian’s hand begin to move underneath yours. 

You smiled when you saw his eyes blink open and James was quick to stand up and come closer to him so he had a familiar face to look at while he took in his surroundings. 

“Hey buddy,” James smiled and you could see Julian light up at the sight of his dad. He lifted his hand to try to remove the oxygen mask, but James gently encouraged him not to. “This is giving your lungs an extra hand right now, let’s just keep it on until the doctor tells us it's okay to take it off.” 

“But you’re a doctor,” Julian countered and James chuckled. 

“I am, but I'm not your doctor. I am, however, your dad so you have to listen to me anyways,” he teased and bent down to kiss his son’s cheek and tickle him a little bit in the process. 

“Hey, go easy on him,” you placed a gentle hand on James' arm and he laid off. 

“You know,” James said. “It’s still your birthday.” 

“It is?” Julian asked and you both nodded and James reached down to grab something he’d brought with him. 

“All the presents your friends got you are at home waiting for you to get better so you can open them, but this is what I got for you,” he said. “I was gonna come and bring it to the party, but I think you brought the party to me.” 

Julian laughed a little at that and you rolled your eyes, of course James could make himself look good by not showing up. 

He sat up with the help of his dad and pulled out the tissue paper from the bag to see the present that was hiding underneath. With a big grin on his face, he took out a dinosaur stuffed animal along with a book all about the different species of the Cretaceous period. 

“This is awesome,” Julian grinned. “Thanks dad, I love it.” 

James gave Julian another kiss and you joined them, taking a seat on the bed and glancing over at the book on Julian’s lap. 

“How are you feeling sweetheart?” you asked, fixing the twisted band of the oxygen mask on his face. 

“My throat hurts a little bit,” he admitted. “And I’m kinda hungry.” 

“Let me call a nurse and we’ll see what you can eat,” you said and pressed the button to send someone over from the nurses’ station. 

Meanwhile, James poured Julian a glass of water and helped him take a few sips of it. His throat was probably irritated from being on the ventilator, but his lungs had become stabilized from the use of the bronchodilators. 

The nurse came and you spoke to her about getting Julian something to eat and she said she’d double check with Dr. Liu and then grab him some food. 

“Hey, Jay,” you walked over to the bed and took your son’s hand in yours. “Are you okay to hang out here with dad while I go grab some stuff from home? The doctors said we might hang around here for a few days so I think I need to pack a bag.” 

“Yeah, that’s okay,” Julian nodded. “Are you okay mom?” he reached up and touched your cheek and you realized you'd let a few more tears slip.

“Yeah, I’m just really happy you’re okay,” you wiped the tears away and pressed a big kiss to his cheek. “Right, Jamie? We’re both happy he’s okay.” 

James looked over at you with softness reflecting in his eyes at the sound of the nickname he hadn’t heard in a long time and nodded his head. 

“Bring some cake back with you,” Julian whispered. “Even if dad and the doctor say no we can sneak some.” 

You laughed at his plan and gave him another kiss, assuring him you’d pack some in a container to bring for him when you came back.

When you arrived at your home, you thought you might cry at the sight in front of you. The kitchen and living room were completely clean, presents piled neatly on the coffee table along with a new card you didn’t recognize. Coming closer, you noticed the bright marker, signature of eight-year-olds across the country, with the message Get Well Soon Julian! written on it and signed by all his friends who had attended the party. 

You packed the card in your bag along with a few other things and made a mental note to grab a nice thank you gift for Mahlet to thank her for what she had done. 

As promised, you cut a big chunk of cake, enough for the three of you to share, and packed it in a tupperware to bring back to the hospital. 

You grabbed a few changes of clothes for both you and Julian and changed out of the temporary shirt you had on and into something more comfortable for the rest of the evening, making sure everything you needed was in place before heading out and going back to the hospital. 

When you got back to Julian’s room you saw James squished in next to him on the bed, the book he had bought him opened on his lap as he read its contents to Julian. Julian was resting his head against James’ arm and James was doing those big exaggerations he always would whenever he’d read bedtime stories to Julian, emphasizing all the insane details and changing the inflections of his voice in just the right way to make him laugh. 

“I brought cake,” you grinned, holding up the container as you entered the room, holding three plastic forks. “If Dr. Dad says it's okay, we can eat it.” 

“Dr. Dad desperately needs some sugar,” James nodded his head and closed the book for the time being while you took a seat by Julian’s legs and opened the container, handing each of the boys a fork. 

You helped Julian take off his oxygen mask for the time being and placed it off to the side, acutely aware of how his breathing sounded more laboured without it. 

James only snuck in a couple bites of the cake before taking the mask from your side and holding it ready in case Julian needed a bit of an extra hand. 

Just as he had predicted, after a few bites of cake Julian was noticing a bit of a difficulty to get air into his lungs and James held up the mask to his face, allowing him to take a couple deep breaths. 

“What do you think of the cake, Jay?” you asked. 

“Really good, just like everytime you make it,” he grinned. 

“I’m sorry you didn’t have a great birthday, buddy,” James apologized. “I mean with all your friends and classmates.” 

“What do you mean?” Julian asked. “I think I had a good birthday.” 

“You do?” you frowned curiously, wondering what kind of light he’d seen in the day that you and James as worried parents had somehow missed. “What made it good?”

“We’re sitting eating cake. Together. Just like when I was little,” he said simply and you chewed on the inside of your cheek, looking over at James whose gaze hadn’t left Julian. He almost looked disappointed, at what, you couldn’t place, but at least for the moment Julian was happy and that was all either of you really wanted. 

—

You grabbed your purse from the ground and thanked Dr. Liu for all of the information he had given you and assured you’d be there with Julian at the allocated follow-up time you had arranged. You were just about to leave when James came rushing into the room, apologies spewing out of his mouth for being late. 

“Late? You missed the whole appointment.”

“I-I did?” he said, looking down at his watch and cursing when he saw the time. 

“Jay, sweetheart, why don’t you sit down here,” you moved out of Dr. Liu’s office and set him up on a chair in one of the general waiting areas and handed him his dinosaur book from your purse. “I just need to go have a chat with your dad real quick.” 

Julian nodded and opened up the book, flipping through the pages while you grabbed James’ arm and pulled him into a dead-end hallway so you could speak in private. 

“What the hell took you so long?” you asked firmly. “We waited for twenty minutes before even starting the appointment!” 

“I’m sorry,” James apologized, “I was in the OR with a patient and something went haywire and it took longer than expected to fix it.” 

“Still, you couldn’t have told someone to at least pass on a message?” 

“I was in the middle of saving a patient’s life! What did you want me to do?” 

“I wanted you to be there for your son,” you whispered harshly. “You make promises you can’t keep and I have to watch him get disappointed over and over again. He does not deserve that, especially now.” 

James placed his hands on his hips and said, 

“I am trying to be there, it’s not for lack of effort-,” 

“Well try harder!” you threw your hands up in the air. “You’re an ex-husband James, not an ex-father. You don’t have to show up for me anymore, but you damn well better show up for him.” 

When he said nothing you continued. 

“Believe it or not, you don’t have to work as much as you do James. You chose to do that and right now that’s coming at your son’s expense and he is scared and vulnerable and neither of us know half of what Dr. Liu is talking to us about. Do you know what he said to me when I was confused about the management plan? He said Dad would know what this means. Dad can help us. And he’s right, you would have known and you can help so stop acting like your fucking schedule controls you and get your schedule under control.” 

James was quiet for a moment before he nodded his head, 

“Okay,” he said simply. 

You knew better than to get your hopes up with him and you didn’t have any more energy to argue, so you told him you could talk more later, but right now you were going to take Julian home so he could rest in his own bed and finally open his birthday presents. 

“Is dad coming with us?” Julian asked when you picked him up and began walking away to leave the hospital. 

“No, not this time,” you shook your head. 

“Did you fight with him again?” Julian asked and you pressed your lips together. 

“We just had a disagreement,” you settled on. “You can call him later when he’s done work if you want to talk to him, sounds good?” 

Julian was content with your answer and left it at that. 

Over the next few days, aside from Julian’s call, you didn’t hear much for James and you assumed things were right on track to going back to the way they had always been. You loved your son to pieces, but this was one time you wished his dad would be here to support, working and caring for Julian on top of trying to figure out how to be his at home doctor was already taking its toll and you didn’t know how you’d be able to keep it up. 

One night, you were sitting in the living room reading a book Dr. Liu had recommended. It was detailing strategies for parents with children who had cystic fibrosis. In the middle of your chapter you were interrupted by a knock to your door and you put in your bookmark, wondering who was stopping by this far into the evening. 

Unlocking the door and opening it, you found it hard to hide the surprise in your face when you saw James on the other end. 

“James?” you tilted your head. “I haven’t heard from you at all this week, what’s going on?” 

“I reduced my patient load,” he said, “and I talked to Cuddy about reducing my clinic hours. I still have to do some administrative stuff for the department, but it can be done from home for the most part.” 

“Oh,” you were surprised to say the least. You didn’t realize your outburst the other day had worked. 

“You were right,” he said. “I need to be here for Julian and I can’t do that if my work always comes first.” 

You nodded your head, following along with what he was saying. 

“C-Can I come in and see him?” James asked. “I know our custody agreement has always been all over the place-,” 

You didn’t say anything, simply opening the door wider for him to come inside. 

“He’s asleep in his room,” you said. “When you’re done we can talk some more.” 

James nodded and stepped inside, slipping off his shoes and taking off his jacket, making his way to Julian’s room to sit with him for a moment before joining you in the kitchen. 

“Want something to drink?” you asked and he said some water would be nice. You poured him a glass while waiting for the water to boil for your tea. 

“I saw the book you were reading over there,” he pointed to the couch. “Dr. Liu recommended it to me too, I just finished it the other night.” 

“Show off,” you rolled your eyes and handed him the glass. 

“What I was trying to say is I think something that stood out to me is having consistency and a routine is good, especially when things are new,” James explained. “I don’t think it makes sense for him to be moving back and forth from here to my place.” 

“So you think we should have a home base here?” you confirmed and he nodded. 

“I can come by more often, if there’s days where you need to be at work I can be doing the administrative stuff here after school and take care of Julian until you get back.” 

You pursed your lips and as you heard the kettle click, moved to pour your hot water into the mug you were holding. 

“These are all good ideas,” you started. 

“I’m assuming there’s a but coming?” 

“But I don’t want to give Julian the wrong impression is all.” 

James shook his head. 

“You really need to pick whatever it is you want,” James crossed his arms over his chest. “First I’m not here enough, I don’t put my family first. Now I’m putting my family first and you’re worried Julian’s going to think this means we’re getting back together.” 

“He doesn’t need to get his hopes up for something that’s never going to happen,” you said flatly. 

“Have you ever considered having a conversation with him instead of shielding him from every little thing that might hurt him?” James asked and you rolled your eyes. 

“Clearly every little thing can hurt him!” you pointed over to his room. “He can’t even breathe without help, James. Maybe he needs to be protected.” 

“Stop, just stop,” James ran a hand over his face. “I can’t get into a fight with you every single time we see each other. Julian is just as much my son as he is yours, if this is going to work we need to be able to have a conversation with each other.” 

You took a sip of your tea and said,

“Okay, I’m worried Julian might take the fact that you’re around more the wrong way.” 

James nodded his head, “I hear you, so maybe we should talk to him about it and say I’m coming around more to lend a hand around the house and help take care of him.” 

“Dad? What are you doing here?” as if on cue, Julian had walked into the kitchen, rubbing his eyes awake and adjusting to the light. 

“Julian, where’s your oxygen mask?” 

“I don’t wanna wear it mom,” he whined. “I don’t like the way it feels on my face.” 

You sighed, having had this conversation at least five times before, you didn’t know what else you could say to convince him. 

“Hey buddy, maybe we should listen to mom on this one,” James suggested. “You know that feeling you’ve got right here,” he pointed to his chest. “That’s only gonna get worse if you don’t wear it and we don’t want to have to go to the hospital again, right?” 

Julian shook his head and sighed, stomping back over to his room to grab the portable machine and place the tube under his nose and around his ears, allowing him to get the right amount of oxygen. 

You looked over at James gratefully and he reached his hand out to yours and gave it a squeeze. It was nice being on the same team even if you had just been arguing. 

When Julian came back he repeated his question to his dad who explained that he was here to talk to you about a few things that would be changing soon and that he’d be around more to help look after him. 

“If you’re going to be here to help look after me can you stay tonight?” Julian asked. “Mom still has some of your clothes in those boxes in her closet.” 

“She does, does she,” James looked over at you. 

“It was the stuff you wanted to give away and I never got around to it,” you said. “There’s probably a hoodie and some pyjama pants in there if you want to stay.” 

James pressed his lips together and sighed, 

“You know buddy as much as I would love to have a sleepover with you I don’t think it’s a good idea if I spend the night here,” James said. “But I can tuck you in again and wait until you fall asleep to go back home.” 

“Mom, can you come too?” Julian asked and you nodded your head. 

James stood up and helped Julian carry his portable oxygen machine back to his bedroom and you trailed behind them, watching as James carefully tucked Julian back under the covers while peppering his face with small kisses, like he would do when Julian was younger and just learning to sleep in his own room. 

“Dad that tickles,” Julian giggled and James simply smiled and continued littering his face with kisses. 

“Too bad. I love you too much; I just can’t get enough of you.” 

“Alright, move it,” you nudged James from the opposite side of the bed and took your turn. “It must tickle having two parents who love you so damn much.” 

“It does,” Julian’s laughter died out as you both finally left him alone, sitting on either side of his mattress. 

You both wished him a good night and waited as he slowly fell back asleep. When his breathing was steady and his grip loosened on yours and James’ hands you took it as your cue to leave the room. 

James placed a hand on your shoulder as you stepped out of the room, prompting you to turn around and face him. 

“I’ll come by tomorrow and we can work out a schedule or something, does that sound good?”

You nodded your head, 

“Yeah, I have a work thing tomorrow in the evening, I was gonna ask Mahlet, Hennock’s mom, if she could come look after Julian, but if you’re around…” 

“I’ll come for dinner and then do the bedtime routine,” he said and you smiled. 

“James I’m begging you-,” 

“I won’t be late,” he assured. “No surgeries planned and I’m ending my shift with clinic duty.” 

You pressed your lips into a thin line and nodded your head. 

“I’ll see you then,” you patted his arm and he showed himself out. 

You walked back to the kitchen grabbing your now lukewarm cup of tea and sitting back on the couch picking up your book and opening it, reading until you couldn’t keep your eyes open any longer, falling asleep right there on the couch. 

—

Over the next few months, you, James, and Julian had developed some sort of routine around school, work, and doctor’s appointments. A part of you thought you were spending more time together as a family than when you were married. 

Today you had to go in for work, also having reduced your hours, but in a way that you were working in tandem with James. When you arrived back home the house smelled like warm spices and big plates of home-cooked food. 

You dropped your keys on the entryway table, next to James’ keys and wallet and took off your jacket, hanging it up before coming to the kitchen and seeing Julian and Hennock doing their homework at the island. 

“Mr. Wilson, what is the difference between these two words?” Hennock asked, holding up his paper so James could see while cutting some vegetables for a salad. 

“I think the first one is the kind of principal in your school that looks after all the students and the other one is… man, that’s hard to describe. Hey, how do you describe what principle is to an eight-year-old?” James asked you. 

“I think that kind of principle is something that guides the way people behave or act,” you sat next to Julian and Hennock. “Like a principle is the foundation for something that people believe in.” 

Hennock and Julian still looked a little confused by your explanation so you tried to give an example. 

“So a principle could be to be kind to everyone we meet and so people who believe in that principle will try to follow it.” 

That put it in better terms for them to understand and there was a chorus of oh’s before they looked back down at their papers and scribbled down a few things to answer the questions they were asked. 

“They learning about homonyms?” you asked James and he nodded.

“I talked to Mahlet,” James said, changing the topic. “Hennock’s gonna stay for dinner and she’ll come pick him up around seven.” 

“Sounds good, it’s always nice to have you, Henny,” you smiled and ruffled your hand through his coarse curly hair in an endearing way. 

“Thanks, Mrs. Wilson,” Hennock smiled. 

James was now over the stove, stirring what looked like a soup before giving it a taste and figuring something might be missing.

“Can you taste this?” James asked. “I don’t know why, but every time I make it there’s something off.” 

You took a spoon and tried a little bit of the broth, looking down to see that he was making matzah ball soup and immediately when you tasted it you knew what was missing. 

“I know what it is,” you said. “But you can’t tell your mom I told you. She swore me to secrecy.” 

“My mother told you this?” James asked and you nodded. 

“When we were getting married she wanted me to know how to make it the way she would for you when you were sick.” 

“And she didn’t think to tell her own son how to do this?” he seemed thoroughly offended, but all you could do was laugh. 

“It’s tarragon. I don’t think it’s something everyone adds, it was just something special she’d put in hers to make it a little different. Here,” you reached into the spice cupboard and took out a jar of dried tarragon and took a bit of the herb out of the container and crushed it in your hands before sprinkling it into the soup. James mixed it in and gave the broth a minute to soak in the flavour before trying it again and shaking his head. 

“I can’t believe she didn’t tell me!” 

“I’ll let you finish having your little meltdown,” you patted his back. “I’m gonna hop in the shower quickly and we can eat when I get out.” 

“Did Dad forget the tarragon?” Julian asked and you nodded your head. 

“Wow, so everyone knew, but me?” James asked and you nodded your head with a shrug. 

“Sorry, I guess your mom has favourites, or something.” 

“Figures,” James teasingly rolled his eyes and you chuckled, waving him off and going to take a shower and change into something a little more comfortable. 

When you came back outside they had migrated to the dining room table, each with a bowl of soup in front of them and a plate of salad. You sat on the same side as James since Julian and Hennock were already sitting next to each other and the boys happily recounted the details of their school day and playdate with you while everyone ate their soup and salad. 

“What did you do at work, Dad?” James asked. 

“Oh, nothing interesting,” he shook his head. “I think your mom was doing bigger things than me.” 

“Bigger than treating people with cancer? You flatter me,” you drank some of your soup’s broth. “I had a meeting with a big company about a building they’re making.” 

“Did you go do a site visit?” James asked and you nodded. 

“Engineers are being a pain in the butt, keep making me adjust the design, but we’ll see who gets the last laugh.” 

“Mom always does,” Julian told Hennock and they chuckled along with James. 

After dinner James helped you clear up some of the dishes before heading out and leaving you with the boys. When Mahlet came by to pick Hennock up you invited her in for tea and a little visit. 

“Thanks for coming to stay with Julian the other night,” you said after handing her a mug. “For once, I was the late one and James had an emergency come up so it was a huge help.” 

“And how are things now, with the co-parenting?” 

You took a sip of your tea, “Weirdly good,” you admitted. “We don’t argue as much which is nice and Julian gets to see his dad more.” 

“Do you think maybe you’re not fighting because he’s changing?” she asked. 

“I don’t wanna go down that path,” you shook your head. “If Jay hadn’t been diagnosed things would still be the same as they always were.” 

“But they’re not. More often than not people show their true colours during times of difficulty.” 

You took a deep breath and sighed, “If that was the case I would have seen something worth keeping when my marriage was falling apart.” 

Mahlet nodded, seeing as you had a point and your conversation was halted as they boys came out of Julian’s room. 

Mahlet and Hennock left shortly afterwards and you quickly got Julian ready for bed, tucking him in and then going to get settled yourself. You looked through a few client papers for work before calling it a night and turning off your bedside lamp, curling into bed and falling asleep. 

Your sleep was interrupted in the middle of the night by a tapping on your shoulder and when you blinked your eyes open you saw Julian standing next to your bed. 

“Jay, sweetheart, is something wrong?” you asked. 

“My stomach really hurts,” he told you and you sat up, motioning for him to come sit with you on the bed. 

“Where?” you asked, turning on the light and he pointed to the upper right corner of his abdomen. If you remembered correctly that wasn’t exactly where his stomach was and your suspicions were confirmed when you saw the yellowing whites of his eyes. “Oh, sweetheart, I think we have to go to the hospital.” 

“The hospital? What happened?” Julian looked worried and you assured him everything would be alright. 

“We’re just being safe,” you told him. “I’m gonna call your dad, maybe he can tell us a little bit more of what’s going on. Do you feel good enough to get your jacket and shoes and your hospital bag?” 

Julian nodded his head and you gave him a kiss and he went off to grab his things while you did the same, but also taking your cell phone and calling James. 

It took a few rings, but he eventually picked up. 

“Hey, did something happen?” he asked and you could still hear the sleep thick in his voice. 

“I think something’s wrong with Julian. I’m gonna take him to the hospital, can you meet us there?” 

“Yeah, of course, I’m on my way.” 

“James…the whites of his eyes were yellow. Does he have jaundice?” you asked.

“It’s possible, was there anything else?” 

“Yeah, he mentioned stomach pain, but he pointed to like his upper right abdomen, I think,” you explained while grabbing your bag and putting on some socks. 

“Makes sense as a liver issue,” you could hear his car starting in the background. “If he’s presenting symptoms now I would call an ambulance.” 

“James-,” 

“Just trust me,” he said. “Call 911.” 

“Okay,” you nodded your head and hung up, calling the emergency services and explaining the situation to them and then to Julian while you waited for them to arrive. 

James made the right call, seeing as while you were in the ambulance Julian began to throw up and the paramedics obviously handled it better than you could have if you had driven him. 

When you arrived at the ER they wheeled Julian away and you began getting flashbacks to when you first brought him in. 

“Where are you taking him?” you called after them, but no one answered you. “What the hell kind of hospital is this?! Where are you taking my son?!” 

“Ma’am they're taking your son to do a liver biopsy,” one of the nurses came back and informed you. “We need you to sign this consent form.” 

You nodded your head and took the pen from her hand, signing it, but just as you were about to ask her a question she ran off to give them the okay. 

You could feel your anger and worry bubbling inside your throat and you wanted to let it out in a scream and you were about to go running after her, but before you could you felt someone grab your wrist and pull you back. 

“James let me go,” you said warningly, looking back at your ex-husband. 

“No,” he stated just as firmly. 

“James-,” 

“I am not going to let you do something you’re going to regret,” he said and pulled you into his chest, wrapping his arms around you, even when you pushed to get away. 

“James, let me go.”

“No,” he repeated and simply held onto you tighter. 

“Let me-,” your voice broke and you stopped pushing away. “Please, Jamie, please I just want to see him,” you cried into his shirt and he squeezed you so tight you thought you might get bruises in your arm from the way he was holding you. 

“I know, I know,” he whispered. “You brought him here and he’s going to be fine.” 

“I can’t do this anymore, James. I can't be his mom and his doctor and they can’t expect me to wait out here while they drag him away and ask me to consent to God knows what.” 

James didn’t know what to tell you, instead he just continued to hold you close, rubbing his hands up and down your back, and pressed a soft kiss against your temple. 

You wrapped your arms around him and finally let yourself fully sink into his embrace, hating yourself for how much you liked it and how good it made you feel while your son was in some back corner of the ER getting a piece of his liver biopsied.

Eventually James pulled away from you, helping you dry your tears on the sleeve of his sweater and walking with his arm wrapped around you to the waiting area. You didn’t know how long you were sitting there, but it was possible that you had dozed off once or twice against James’ arm, waiting to hear some sort of news from the ER doctor. 

“Mr. and Mrs. Wilson?” 

Your eyes blinked open when James gently shook you awake. 

“That’s us,” he said. “Is Julian okay?” 

“Your son has a mild case of cirrhosis,” the doctor explained. “Due to his cystic fibrosis diagnosis we believe this is due to clogging and inflammation in his bile ducts.” 

“What does that mean for him? Does he need surgery to fix it?” you asked, fighting back a tired yawn. 

“Unfortunately, yes,” the doctor nodded. “It’s good you caught it early, there’s minimal damage to his liver so far and he’s still growing which means his liver is too. We can get him into an OR tomorrow if you consent to the surgery.” 

You looked over at James and he nodded his head. You trusted him and told the doctor you would sign the papers as soon as you could see Julian. 

“He’s been moved to the pediatric ward for now and Dr. Liu has been informed of the development. He should be in touch with you tomorrow.” 

“Thank you,” James said and when the doctor left, he helped you up and you began the walk up to the pediatric ward. 

When you arrived a nurse pointed you in the direction of his room and after each pressing a kiss to Julain’s forehead you sat on the seat bench together. 

“We should sleep,” James said, but you had a hard time imagining how that would be possible. 

“I’m having a hard time working out the logistics,” you admitted. 

“Come on, it’ll be just like on the way back from our honeymoon,” he insisted, recalling your extremely delayed flight on the way back from France, causing you to sleep with your head on James’ lap, stretched out along the airport chairs. 

You were too tired to argue or try and find another way, so you leaned down and rested your head against his legs, closing your eyes and sighing when you felt his hand rub up and down in long motions along the side of your body. Sleep could not have come quicker.

—

“Mom…Mom, Dad?” 

Julian rolled his eyes when he received no answer and grabbed the stuffed animal you had placed next to him when he’d come into the room and threw it at his sleeping parents, nailing his dad in the face. 

“Oh, God, mhm, wake up,” James shook you while he raised his hands to rub his face.

“Huh?” you opened your eyes and pushed yourself off of James’ lap. “Oh crap, my back. Remind me not to listen to you when you talk about doing something I did ten years ago.” 

“Julian, did you throw Steggy at my face?” James asked, picking up the stuffed animal from where it had fallen on you. 

“You weren’t getting up,” Julian shrugged his shoulders. 

“Julian,” you chastised and took the dinosaur from James’ hand. “You could have hurt your dad’s important doctor-face,” you joked and rubbed your hand all over James’ face making Julian laugh. 

“Okay, okay,” James moved your hand away and gave you a look. 

“How are you feeling, sweetheart?” you yawned and moved from the bench to the side of his bed. 

“A little better,” he said. “Did the doctors fix what was wrong?” 

“Not yet,” James shook his head and came to sit next to you and placed a hand on Julian’s. “You’re gonna have to go in for surgery today.” 

“A surgery?” Julian looked a little nervous. “Like cut me open?” 

“It’ll be just a line right here,” James drew it with his finger along Julian’s abdomen. “They’re going to fix a part of you called your bile duct and then sew you right back up and you’ll be good as new.” 

“Is it dangerous?” he asked. 

You looked over at James, a small note telling him to lie to make him feel better. He didn’t need to know all the details. 

“No,” James shook his head. “You’re gonna be fine and your mom and I will be here the whole time.” 

“Promise?” Julian whispered. 

“Swear on it,” James leaned in towards his son and snuck a kiss to his cheek. “We love you, buddy.” 

“I love you guys too.” 

Dr. Liu came by a little while later to inform you what time the surgery was scheduled for and he helped make Julian feel a lot better about the procedure. When it was finally time for him to go, you were a nervous wreck, but tried not to let it show for Julian’s sake, instead just pressing a big kiss to his forehead and telling him you’d be waiting for him once he got out. 

It only took about fifteen minutes of your pacing to get James to grab onto your arm and make you stop. 

“You’re gonna burn a hole in the ground,” he said. 

“I don’t know what to do with myself,” you admitted. “If I sit I’m gonna fidget, if I stand I’m going to pace.” 

“Then come on, let’s go to my office for a second, grab a coffee and a snack and then we can come back out and wait,” he suggested. 

You agreed to his idea so he stood up and you walked side by side to his office, passing House who had some comment about your dishevelled appearance together. 

“You’re an interesting man, Greg,” you shook your head at him. “You can’t think of any other reason we might be here?” 

House was silent so James explained, 

“Julian’s in surgery right now. He’s got cirrhosis.” 

“Ah so not a late night ex-wife rendez-vous. Can’t get ‘em right all the time,” he shrugged and you chuckled. “I hope the kid’s alright.” 

“Thanks, that means a lot coming from you,” you admitted. 

He raised his brows and lifted his cane to say goodbye, letting you and James continue your walk to his office. 

“House mind that you’re not spending as much time here?” you asked. 

“No, he just bothers me more when I am around,” James said while opening the door and letting you inside. 

He went towards his desk and pulled out a few packages of snacks tossing you one and you shook your head when you saw the label. 

“You still eat these? I thought the FDA recalled them?” you asked sarcastically. 

“I’m sorry I have better taste in food than you do,” he said right back. 

“Right, this is food,” you chuckled. “And if you have such good taste why didn’t your mom tell you about her secret ingredient?” 

“That’s cold,” he pointed to you with a bag of chips in his hand. 

“No, it’s true. Just like your dad telling me I was his favourite wife of yours,” you opened the bag James had tossed you. 

“Just shut up and eat your snack,” James chuckled and you listened to him, beginning to eat a little something, not realizing how hungry you were until the food made its way to your stomach. 

“You got another one of these?” you asked and he nodded, passing it to you when you were finished with the first one. 

“Feeling a little better?” James asked and you nodded your head. 

“Hey James?” you said, unsure of how you’d gotten to this point, but you were too exhausted to stop yourself from saying it. “I want you to move back in.” 

“You want me to do what?” he raised his brows and looked at you stunned. 

“I want you to move back in with me and Julian,” you said. “It’s becoming pretty clear to me that it’s safer to have two people around when possible than not and you’re already around all the time now.” 

“Are you sure this is a good idea?” he asked. “I mean you didn’t want to give Julian the wrong idea about us.” 

“Our lives changed the second we got that diagnosis. I think we need to change along with everything else.” 

You couldn’t believe that just barely twelve hours ago you were telling your friend there was no chance James had changed, but here you were saying things that had proved you had changed. Things you wouldn’t have dreamt of saying a year ago. 

“Okay,” James nodded. “I’ll move back in.” 

You just silently hoped you wouldn’t regret asking. 

Waiting for Julian to get out of surgery was a little easier now that you had some food in your stomach and you decided to wait on coffee until you got the note from the surgeon that everything had gone well. 

As James had continued to assure you almost a hundred times, the surgery went fine and before you knew it you were back in Julian’s room watching him sleep off the anaesthetic. 

“You know he looks like you when he sleeps,” James said from the bench while you sat on the bed next to Julian. 

“He does?” 

“Yeah, his nose does that same scrunchy thing when he sniffles and when he snores-,” 

“Hey, I only snore when I’m congested,” you said defensively. 

“I never minded,” James smiled. “I thought it was cute when you sounded like an old man.” 

“Yeah, but you’re not fond of all my old man characteristics,” you turned around to face him, still holding Julian’s hand in yours. 

“All your old man characteristics?” James furrowed his brows in confusion. 

“You told me I argued like an old man. Stubborn and could only see my own way. And I fought dirty.” 

“You sure did,” James nodded. “If you brandishing my mother’s clear favouritism shows anything, it’s definitely that you fight dirty, but I never said I disliked that about you.” 

“Really? Near the end I thought there was a lot you disliked about me.” 

James shook his head, “No, I was just upset and you were passionate. It wasn’t like my other marriages where things just…fizzled.” 

“We did go out with a bang,” you inhaled deeply. 

“If it weren’t for Julian… do you think we’d…” 

You shook your head. 

“No, we probably never would have seen each other again. Another old man trait, I hold a pretty mean grudge.” 

James pressed his lips together and looked over at his sleeping son. 

“I’m happy we had him,” he said quietly. “Even if we didn’t work out.” 

“Me too,” you agreed, looking over at Julian quietly snoring, just like his dad had said. “Best thing that’s ever happened to me.” 

You leaned down and pressed a gentle kiss to Julian’s nose watching him scrunch it up, making you smile. It was a miracle that two such flawed individuals could make a child so perfect. 

—

“Alright, he is asleep, but I do warn you it took some bribery so you’ll have to buy him another dinosaur book to read to him at night,” you walked out of Julian’s room, dusting your hands off like you’d just finished a heavy labour job. 

“I’ll run to the bookstore tomorrow,” James nodded and you fell onto the couch next to him and sighing as you sunk into the plush fabric before noticing what he was doing. 

“Where did you pull these out of?” you asked with a soft chuckle. 

“I was just clearing up the closet in the guest bedroom and I found a box of these,” he picked up the albums. “Look at this one.” 

He placed the book of photos on your lap and you smiled seeing as it was Julian’s baby album, filled with small mementos and little notes you and James had made in the margins. 

“Oh my God, Mom’s first day home, she looks like an angel,” you read from the side. “And my response: I look like I just got hit by a bus, cut it out.” 

“You can still read my chicken scratch writing?” James asked. 

“My most useless talent as I like to call it,” you nodded. “You wrote a lot in here.” 

“I used to bring it with me to work cause I missed you guys so much,” he admitted. “Made me feel closer to you.” 

You read through some of the notes in the book, chuckling a little at some of the written back and forth you had. Eventually you got to the family portraits you’d had taken a few months after Julian was born, smiling softly to yourself. 

You remembered the day well, you felt like you hadn’t slept in weeks, James was just getting off of a twelve-hour shift and you were almost late to your appointment with the photographer. You were worried everything was going to look terrible and you’d barely had enough time to do your hair or makeup, but James had silenced your worries with a kiss and assured you the pictures would be fine. 

In the end most of them were terrible, but the photographer managed to get two shots, one of you and James smiling down at Julian in your arms and another immediately after where you were looking up and smiling at each other. 

“That session was a shitshow,” you recalled and James agreed. “We did get a few nice things out of it though.” 

You looked back down at the pile of albums in front of you and noticed a large white one, tucked under a few things and even though nothing good could come of it, you pulled it out from the bottom of the pile, carefully blowing off the dust and turning the first page. 

Centerfold, just like you remembered it, was a picture of you and James on your wedding day. You leaned further back into the couch and James scooched in closer to get a look. 

You both looked younger in the picture, with that spark of je ne sais quoi in your eyes. 

“I told you there was a reason we got married,” he said quietly, his hand brushing the corner of the photo. 

“Yeah, we loved each other,” you said. “That was the reason.” 

“Same reason we decided to have Julian,” he added. 

You could feel your breathing become a little more shallow and a tightness in your chest as James spoke about Julian. You remembered the conversations so clearly, like you’d had them yesterday, caught between happy and passionate kisses while James made some dirty jokes about getting you pregnant. 

That was back when he still couldn’t get enough of you. Before things changed and he slowly distanced himself until it felt like it was just you and Julian against the rest of the world, and not the three of you like he had promised all those nights throughout your pregnancy. 

You wondered quietly to yourself what had changed? What had become so unbearable that there was distance in the first place? There was never a lack of love on your end which is why this was dangerous. 

At least when there was distance you could be angry with him, you could go to bed at night and not remember all the little things that made you love him in the first place. He wasn’t there as a constant  reminder that you loved his cooking, or even just your banter together. More importantly, it was giving you new reasons to feel that fluttering feeling in your stomach. 

You’d always loved how he’d interact with Julian, but now that you got to see it day in and day out, it made it harder to weigh that against the cons of everything. Most notably, this was the beginning of the end. If you let yourself fall you would both crash and Julian would be caught in the middle once again. 

You tried to distract yourself by flipping through the album photos to find some funny old picture of a relative or maybe even an embarrassing moment to tone down whatever it was that looking at that picture was making you feel. 

All you could focus on was how in every picture, almost without fail, James was looking over at you. Rarely into the camera along with everyone else. He was enamoured, that was the only word to describe it, and oh how much you missed that look. 

You made the mistake of tearing away your gaze from the pictures, looking up at James instead, and for a moment you thought just maybe you saw that same look in his eyes. But no. It couldn’t have been. The dim light of the lamp must have been playing tricks on you. 

Finally you closed the album and put it back down, unsure of what feelings might resurface if you opened another one. Your honeymoon, family dinners and pictures were all just reminders of the happy times, not what came after.

James did what you didn’t want to, grabbing another album and sifting through the pages until he found what he was looking for, taking a picture out of its protective sleeve and showing it to you. 

“Can I keep this one?” he asked. 

You took it from his hands, examining it while your fingers precariously held the edges of the photograph. 

It was a silly picture, something you had taken while you were travelling. James got someone to take the camera, but along with snapping a few shots while you were posed with smiles they caught a few candids, most notably, James kissing your cheek while you laughed and tried to squirm out of his grasp. 

Your finger gently brushed over the spot on the photo where James’ lips were against your cheek before nodding your head. 

“Sure, you can have it,” you handed him back the picture and patted your hands against your legs, preparing to stand up. “I should get to bed.”

“I’ll be out here for a while longer if you need anything.”

You gave him a tight lipped smile and stood up, walking towards your bedroom. When you closed the door behind you, you let out a breath you had been holding and ran a hand across your face. 

Maybe Julian was never the one at risk of getting the wrong idea.

—

Waking up in the middle of the night always made you feel uneasy. Especially if Julian was the one waking you up. The chance that you’d have to drive to the hospital or call an ambulance was high and you hated the fear and worry that came along with any possible complications. 

Tonight, you woke up on your own accord. Your heart was beating inside your throat and your stomach felt like it was housing a group of persistent butterflies. 

You glanced over at the clock and saw the time, flashing in red. 

3:07

You took a deep breath trying to steady your heart rate and breathing before peeling away your blanket and kicking your feet over the side of the bed. You grabbed a different pair of pyjamas from your dresser and walked into the washroom, tossing them on the far end of the floor while you stripped down and turned on the water for the shower. 

When you stepped inside you hissed initially at the cold, but forced yourself to become fully submerged under the water, closing the curtain behind you. Your muscles clenched as your body adjusted to the temperature, and when the time finally came you let your thoughts and dreams become washed away by the water coming out of the shower head. 

You were simply standing there, letting the water fall on your face when you heard the click of the door opening. 

“Julian, sweetie,” you sighed, turning around so you could speak. “Maybe you should go to your dad if something’s wrong, I’ll come out in a sec.” 

“No need,” you heard a voice that did not belong to your son. 

“James? I’m in the shower. What are you doing?” you asked incredulously, feeling the need to cover yourself up even though there was a curtain blocking his view. You felt exposed nonetheless. 

“It’s three in the morning, I thought something was wrong, I came to check on you,” he explained. 

“And what were you doing up?” you asked. 

“Got in late. There was an emergency at the hospital after you guys went to sleep, I dealt with it and just came back.”

You stepped under the running water again, washing the water over your face with your hands. 

“So, is everything okay?” 

“Peachy,” you said sarcastically, leaning against the wall of the shower. 

“Nobody ever says peachy when things are okay,” James pushed further and you sighed, moving to sit down on the floor of the shower, still positioned under the water. 

“I just had a dream, that’s all,” you said, watching as the water hit your toes and the ground around you. 

“A bad dream?” he asked. 

“No, it was more like… déjà vu.”

James sighed, and rubbed his hands on his legs. 

“Was it about us?” 

He took your silence as a yes. 

James didn’t really know what to say, his hands were clasped together as he leaned  forward sitting on the bathroom counter. 

“You’re not gonna ask what it’s about?” you hugged your knees close to your chest. 

“Would you tell me?” 

“Maybe…I don’t know,” you mumbled. 

There was another moment of silence before James spoke up again, 

“What was it about?” 

You turned to face the water with your eyes closed again, gathering the courage to speak. 

“It started when I told you I was pregnant,” you said softly. “Like the memory replayed in my head, exactly how it happened.” 

“I remember that day,” you heard the soft smile in his voice as he spoke. “You took the test at work and when it came back positive you came straight to the hospital to tell me.” 

“I was barely two steps inside your office when I blurted it out, you were eating lunch and had that stupid look on your face with a mouth full of sandwich,” you chuckled to yourself.

“I almost choked on that,” James shook his head. “And I just remember running up to you and freaking out.”

“And then when you were done freaking out and everything sunk in you kissed me, and you told me you loved me, and we cried because we made a child. Our love did that.” 

You reached forward and turned the shower off, pushing yourself up on your feet and taking a deep breath before pulling back the curtain. You had told him what you were thinking. You couldn’t get any more exposed than that.

James looked stunned for a moment and it didn’t go unnoticed how his eyes raked up and down your figure. 

“Get me the robe, would you?” you motioned to the back of the door and he jumped down grabbing the robe and holding it out for you so you could place your arms into the sleeves and wrap the towelled fabric around you, trying it off with the belt. 

When you turned your head to look back at James, you could tell at least you’d succeeded in raising his heart rate, much like he was doing for you recently. 

You moved to go sit on the closed toilet while James retook his spot on the counter. 

“Do you remember when Julian was born?” he whispered. 

“I like it was yesterday. I can’t believe it’s been eight years,” you nodded your head. 

He was having trouble holding your gaze and you wondered what he was about to say. 

“I-I screwed up,” his voice was soft, almost hurt, like it pained him to think about what he had done. “When you were resting afterwards the nurse asked me if we were going to do a newborn screening. We hadn’t talked about it, but you were so tired and it was such a hard labour…” he swallowed thickly, his voice wavering slightly, remembering the birth. It wasn’t easy by any means and James had often thought that the hardest thing he’d ever had to watch was you in that much pain. “I told her we weren’t going to do it. I just didn’t want Julian to leave and h-he looked so perfect I never thought anything could have been wrong with him.” 

James took a deep breath and looked up at the ceiling, “I am a doctor and I didn’t get a newborn screening for my son, what the hell kind of father does that make me?” 

“Oddly enough, I think it makes you a good one,” you admitted. 

“Even though we could have known about this years before? We could have gotten him treatment, medication, therapies, all sooner?” he looked back at you confused. 

“You said it yourself, Jamie. He was perfect for us. Still is.” 

James nodded his head and looked forward at the opposite wall. You stood up and walked over towards him, reaching out a hand to gently hold his face, your thumb brushing against his cheek while he looked at you. 

“I don’t blame you for this,” you whispered. “I don’t blame you and I don’t think you’re a bad father.” 

“I know,” he murmured, “but I do.”

You leaned in and pressed a kiss to his cheek, not knowing what other comfort you could offer. 

James leaned in a little to your touch, sitting up straighter when it was gone, trying to play it off like he hadn’t been missing it and craving it as much as you. 

You were about to say something when you heard a knock on the washroom door, and this time it had to be Julian. 

“Mom? Dad, are you in here too?” you could hear his small sounding voice, a little strained and worried so you quickly assured him you were both inside and opened the door. 

“Sweetheart, what happened?” you asked, noticing his tear-stained face. 

“I just had a bad dream,” he sniffed and wiped his eyes. 

You kissed away his tears first before assuring him everything would be fine, you and James were there to take care of him. 

“Why don’t you go and lay down on my bed with your Dad?” you suggested. “I’ll get dressed and come join you.” 

Julian nodded and made his way over to your bed while you went to quickly speak to James. 

“It’ll be good for you. Both of you,” you told him. 

“You don’t mind?” 

“Just this once.” 

James thanked you with a kiss to your cheek and left the adjoining washroom, closing the door behind him and giving you a minute to get changed and deal with anything you needed to before going back to bed. 

When you opened the door and came back into your room, you saw James under the covers with Julian pressed close to him, their foreheads resting together while James told him everything was going to be alright and he could go back to sleep. 

You slipped in under the covers, sandwiching Julian between you both, letting his back rest against your chest while you pressed a kiss to his hair. 

One hand was tucked under your pillow and another was draped over Julian, and your fingers carefully placed over top of James’. 

“Will you be here when I wake up?” Julian asked his dad. 

“Right next to you,” he kissed his nose. “Now try to get some sleep, okay?” 

Julian nodded his head and yawned and you whispered a quiet goodnight to bed him and his dad before letting your eyes close, silently smiling when you could feel James’ hand finally hold your own. 

—

“You guys, relax, he’s going to be fine,” Mahlet placed a hand on both yours and James’ shoulders while you spewed out your worries. “It’s one night, I have the whole list of things he needs and I’ve taken care of him before, right? It’s just at my house this time so the boys can have a sleepover and you two can have a bit of a break.” 

“She’s right,” James sighed. “I’m still worried out of my mind, but she’s right.” 

“Mahi, are you sure you don’t want us to come even for a little bit?” you asked. 

“Absolutely, if something happens I’ll call an ambulance and then you, but Julian’s been good for months now, he can survive one night away from home,” she assured you. 

“Thank you, Mahlet. I’m sure Julian and Hennock will have a great time tonight. Just call us when he’s ready to be picked up tomorrow morning,” James said. 

James wrapped his arm around you, giving you a squeeze knowing you were still uneasy about this, but deep down you knew Mahlet was right. The chances of something going wrong at this point were small and you’d had enough time since your last hospital visit to even consider doing something like this. 

“You boys ready?” James called and Julian came rushing out of the room with his bag in hand, Hennock following close behind him. 

“You have fun tonight, okay?” you bent down and gave Julian a kiss. “And if anything happens or you feel sick, or are having trouble breathing, tell Mahlet, okay?” 

“I know, Mom. Dad already told me this like fifteen times,” Julian chuckled. 

You looked up at James and he shrugged. 

“Alright, well you guys better go before I change my mind,” you crossed your arms over your chest and that was all the permission the boys needed to run off, leaving Mahlet to say goodbye before stepping out and closing the door behind her. 

You sighed and turned around, looking at James who had his hands shoved into his pockets. 

“You hungry?” he asked. 

“I could eat,” you nodded your head. 

“Why don’t we make something for dinner together?” he suggested. 

You looked at the clock and smiled, “I think we’ve got enough time for pizza, what do you think?” 

“I think that’s a great plan,” James agreed. “I can start on the dough and you get the sauce and toppings?” 

You gave him a thumbs up before putting your hand out to high-five him, noticing how your fingers so easily intertwined before you walked apart and let go. 

James rolled up his sleeves and took off his watch, placing it on the small jewelry tray you kept by the sink for when you were washing dishes, while you went to the fridge and began pulling out all the things that could make good pizza toppings. 

Moving to the sink to wash some vegetables, you noticed James’ watch resting there. You didn’t pay much attention when he was wearing it, but now you realized why it looked extra familiar. It was one you had gotten him as an anniversary present after your first year married. 

“You still wear that?” you pointed with your eyes to the watch. 

“It’s my favourite watch, of course I wear it,” he nodded while portioning the flour into a large bowl.

“Even with that engraving?” you raised a questioning brow. 

“Dearest Jamie, Here’s to the first of many happy anniversaries. Love forever, Your Wife,” he recited the engraving back to you. 

“I don’t know why you do that to yourself,” you chuckled a little, looking down into the sink. 

“Yeah, well why do you still go by Mrs. Wilson?” 

“Easier to keep the name than change it again,” you partially lied, it wasn’t the full truth, but it was what you had been telling yourself ever since the divorce was finalized. 

James could sense you were lying, but he knew the only way to get you to open up would be to let himself be open with you. 

“The watch is my favourite because you gave it to me. Functionally it sucks and it's uncomfortable, but you went out of your way to get me something that looked nice and that’s why I love it.” 

You smiled a little to yourself, but kept your head facing the sink and continued to wash the vegetables. 

“You’re not going to say anything?” he inquired. 

“Do I have to?” you asked. 

“That’s normally how a conversation works,” he remarked and you chuckled. 

“What do you want me to say?” you asked. 

“Honestly, the real reason why you kept your married name,” he said plainly. 

You sighed, “It wasn’t a full lie. If I went back to my maiden name Julian and I wouldn’t have the same last name it just makes things complicated and confusing and I didn’t want to deal with it, but,” you added, “I always kind of liked the sound of Mrs. Wilson and even though I was pissed at you all the time I still liked that there was one thing aside from Julian connecting us. I don’t know, maybe I didn’t want to end up like Sam or Bonnie just…detached, like there was barely a trace that you were even there.” 

“It’s a fingerprint,” James said. “Mine.” 

“Yeah, even though it's small for who we were to each other, it's the fingerprint you left on my life.” 

James pressed his lips together and opened his mouth to say something before shutting it and evaluated how he was going to speak, 

“Can I ask you something?” he settled on. 

“Sure,” you nodded, moving over to the cutting board and placing yourself on the opposite side of the kitchen island. 

“Did…Did you ever stop loving me?” 

Your smile faltered and James noticed the change in your demeanor, quickly retracting his question. 

“You know what, forget I asked,” he shook his head and continued to knead the dough. 

There was a moment of silence before you spoke again. 

“I didn’t, but I got tired of not being loved back.” 

James stopped what he was doing and looked up at you with concern. 

“You thought I stopped loving you?” he asked.

“James, I was wife number three. Didn’t take much to connect the dots and see you got tired of me,” you said bluntly. “I wanted to know if I could count on you, and it was starting to feel like maybe I couldn’t. Then the divorce happened and everything after that just made me feel like I was right.” 

James chewed on the inside of his cheek and remained silent. 

“You didn’t fight for me,” you said quietly. “You fought for joint custody, but you didn’t fight for me. You just…accepted it.” 

“I…I didn’t know you wanted me to fight for you.” 

“Are you saying you would have?” you asked, unsure of whether or not you wanted to hear his answer. 

“I’m saying I thought I didn’t even have a chance,” he admitted. 

“So you wouldn’t have,” you clarified for him, beginning to chop the toppings into pieces and separate them into bowls. 

He chuckled humourlessly, “I have dated one person since the divorce. I hated it.” 

“Why do you have to talk in puzzles, James? Why can’t you just come out and say what you really mean?” 

“And then what?” he asked. “We go back to living in the same house. Sleep in separate rooms. Move on now that we know the truth?”

“Say it,” you put the knife down and looked him right in the eyes. 

“What are you going to do about it?” he asked, cleaning the dough off his hand. “I’m going to say it and you’re just going to stand there and I have to live with that?” 

You walked around the counter and came right up in front of him. 

“If you were listening to anything I was saying, you would stop making excuses and say it.” 

“Fine!” he threw his hands up in the air. “I still love you. I never stopped loving you. These past few months, even though stressful, have been the happiest I’ve been in so long because I feel like myself again when I’m with you and Julian. Because I feel like your husband, and I feel like a father and I keep kicking myself wondering how I could have been so stupid to lose that.” 

“Say it one more time,” you whispered, lifting your hands to hold onto his face. “Please.” 

“I love you,” his voice was softer, relieved like after being underwater he could finally breathe again. 

You finally pulled him into you, your lips hesitantly resting on his at first, before you found your rhythm again after so long. It was muscle memory, his hands finding the spot they always rested against on your hips, his lips moving in synch with yours, eventually trailing off and finding their favourite spot against your jaw and behind your ear. 

“James,” you breathed. 

“Jamie,” he mumbled against your skin. “Call me Jamie.” 

“Jamie, Jamie, Jamie,” you repeated the nickname until he silenced you with another kiss, muffling your voice. 

“God, I missed you,” he whispered when you pulled apart, breathing heavily due to your fast beating heart. 

You closed your eyes while your forehead rested against his, feeling his nose touch yours, his hands still firmly planted on your hips when your thumbs brushed against his cheeks. 

“Jamie?” 

James snuck another small kiss at the sound of the nickname. 

“Yes, my love.” 

“Can I count on you?” 

You could feel him nod his head and confirm with a verbal ‘yes’. And even if it turned out to be a lie, at that moment you didn’t care. He had proved to you that it was possible, you could work with that. 

“I love you,” you said and kissed his nose and then you said it and kissed him again for good measure. “You told me twice; I tell you twice.” 

James moved his hands up from your hips and brushed the back of his fingers against your cheek, a warm smile coming to his face. 

And there was that look, the one you thought had vanished over time. His eyes fully transfixed on you with nothing but love and admiration. It didn’t take much to convince yourself you could get used to seeing that look for a long, long time. 

TAGLIST —

@cuntyvicodin @paola-carter

[sturnihoelo]

Bad Girl

summary: matt punishes you for being a brat

‼️: smut, brat!tamer matt, sub!reader, y/n, bareback, smacking, breeding

⇨this one is a lot longer

★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★

background: you and the triplets have been out all day running errands and filming, and matt has had enough of your attitude.

10 am

*knock knock knock*

“are you awake?” says nick from behind matt’s closed door.

“mmmm” matt groans in response. he rolls over in bed and lays on top of me. ive already been awake for half an hour now. ive just been laying there on my phone. matt rolls over onto my lap and i run my fingers through his hair.

“get up we have shit to do today” nick says before walking down to chris’ room to wake him up. “cmon baby we gotta get ready” i said pushing matt off of me. “noooo” he protests while trying to grab onto me and stopping me from getting up.

i throw on one of his shirts that was on the floor and head to the bathroom to start getting ready. i wash my face and put my hair up before brushing my teeth. im greeted by a shirtless matt standing behind me in the mirror gripping onto my waist and giving me a hug from behind. “hi baby” i try to say while still brushing my teeth. matt kisses the top of my head and continues to hold me while i finish brushing. i bend down over the sink to spit out the toothpaste and matt pulls me in closer to his crotch. “whats got you so happy” i can feel his hard-on press into me. “seeing you” he said while slowly dry humping me. i kiss him on the cheek before leaving the bathroom and going into the kitchen where nick and chris are. “hey queens” i say to them both while taking eggs and orange juice out of the fridge. “do you guys want me to make you something?” “yes please” chris says in a baby tone. “that would be nice thank you” nick said. matt comes out of the bathroom and comes up behind me. “can you make me something too” matt says in my ear while hugging me. “fine”.

i get out a pan from the cabinet and make some eggs and french toast. i make both chris and nick’s plate. “wheres mine?” matt nags. “i didnt make it yet, you can wait bitch”. i say slightly annoyed. matt just scoffs and goes back to being on his phone. nick pulls out the camera and starts vlogging. “heyyy vloggggg! today we’re gonna be going out and running errands and going to a dinner party later! super fun and exciting i know.” he pans the camera to chris and they begin to show off their outfits. i finish making matts food and carelessly toss it onto the table. i sit down and eat my food. “y/n is going to be joining us todayyyy. y/n show off ur fit” “im not dressed yet!” i say putting my hand in the camera trying to cover my face. matt comes over to the table and sits next to me, putting an arm around me and rubs my leg. “matt not right now” i whisper to him in an annoyed tone. he doesn’t listen and continues to rub his hands all over me. “matt!” i say slightly louder. “fine.” he says as he picks up his fork and begins to eat.

i get up from my seat and put my dishes in the sink before walking back into matt’s room. “matt!” i yell out. he comes rushing in. “what’s wrong?”. “have you seen my red dress for tonight? i cant find it anywhere” “nah i havent seen it” i notice a wrinkled mess on the floor. “matthew.” “why is there soda spilled all over my dress.” “oh my god. im so sorry princess. i must have knocked it over when i was streaming last night. im sorry.” “ughhhhh” “now i have nothing to wear for dinner!” “i can put it in the wash for you” “no its fine” i say clearly annoyed and frustrated. “ill just find something else.” i say sarcastically with attitude. he grabs me by my throat and stares deep into my eyes “hey. know who youre speaking to.” he says in a dark voice. i say nothing and just look at him in his eyes. he lets go of my throat and ever so slightly pushes me back. “get dressed.” he demands. i put on some grey sweats and one of matt’s navy blue long sleeve shirts. it was pretty cold out today so i wore our matching uggs.

we all meet in the living room to give the camera a full fit rundown and say what our plans for the day are so far. me and matt are matching, we’re both wearing grey sweatpants and blue sweaters and our matching uggs. chris is wearing loose jeans and a orange zip up over his fresh love shirt, and nick is wearing black jeans and a striped sweater. “right now we are going to the grocery store to pick up some things for dinner tomorrow and possibly something for a video idea i had”. chris says to the camera. we all walk down to the garage and get into the car. i grab matt’s phone and queue some songs that i want to hear. he snatches the phone out of my hands and said “im driving, we’re listening to what i want.” i just roll my eyes.

10 minutes later we arrive at the grocery store. i turn on the camera and film nick, matt and chris. we walk inside the store and begin to grab everything we need. i walk off towards the candy aisle while chris and nick are recording in the deli section. “matt can we get this please” i say while shoving bags of candy in his face. “matt can we get this” i shove another bag in his face. “matt!”- my words were cut off by matts hand covering my mouth. “youre being a brat. knock it off.” he says in a stern voice. “sorry…” chris runs up to us to ask what cookies to get. “should i get double chocolate or sweet vanilla?” he asked us. “chocolate for sure” “yeah i agree.” “okay thanks. we’re done now so lets head to check out.” we walk over to self check out and chris makes a joke “self check out? if you say so” he says while smirking and biting his lip. “shut the fuck up kid ur so annoying” nick said behind the camera. matt smacks my ass while im scanning the groceries. “matthew! enough!” i say out loud. “youre so gonna get it when we get back home.” matt whispers in my ear. i now start to worry because last time i got on his nerves he punished me. “oh yeah?” i taunt back. “yeah.” he says back, smacking my ass again, slightly harder this time. he pays for the groceries and we all walk back to the car. “im so excited for dinner tonight i’m starving!” “same i can’t wait to see what they have for dessert”. “don’t get your hopes up princess.” matt teases. “shut up you pessimist!” i say back. he does nothing but give me an unpleasant look.

we drive back to the house just in time for us to start getting ready for dinner. i grab my makeup from matt’s room and go into the bathroom. soon after, matt invites himself in and locks the door. “what are you doing?” matt traps me into a corner and hovers over me. he gives a gentle slap to my cheek. “you’ve been acting like a brat all day. you know what happens when you act like a bad girl. you get punished.” he lifts my chin up with his hand and caresses my face. “promise you’ll be a good girl for me?” he brings his thumb over to my mouth, tracing my lips and gently entering his finger into my mouth, forcing me to suck on him. i nod and continue to suck on his thumb. he pushes in deeper.. “thats a good girl” he smirks. i get up off the floor as he exits the bathroom. i continue to put on my makeup and do my hair for dinner. i walk back into his room to put on a black off the shoulder dress and basic black heels. we walk back out to the kitchen to show the camera our dinner outfits.

8 pm

at the dinner table i sit next to matt by default. he notices the waiter checking me out and his subtle flirts with me. i can see the jealousy grow in his eyes as the night goes on. nick and chris order their food and the waiter asks me what i would like, offering to give me free drinks. as i begin to tell him what i want, matt cuts me off and proceeds to order for me. matt places his hand on my thigh and grips it tighter as the waiter comes back. “you know hes flirting with you y/n.” “what are you talking about matt” “dont act dumb y/n”. his grip intensifies on my inner thigh. “are you jealous matty?” i taunt. he grips my thigh as hard as he could, staring so deep into my eyes. “bad girls get punished y/n.” i pull out the camera and vlog the dinner. “what did we get everyone?” “i got alfredo pasta” “i got ribeye steak” “me and y/n are sharing the thai chicken.” “perioddddd” nick says and i give him the camera. 30 minutes pass and we finish our meal. “did everyone enjoy dinner?” nick asks the vlog. me, chris, and matt rate our meals and do an outro to the video. we wrap up the night and head back home.

i immediately go to the bathroom to take off all of my makeup and get changed into my pajamas. as i go into matts room, im immediately blindfolded and thrown onto the bed. “matt?” i whine worriedly. “brats get punished” an aggressive voice said into my ear. my blindfold is ripped off and i see matt holding handcuffs. he sits on the edge of the bed and bends me over his lap. he aggressively pushes me down and handcuffs me so im unable to move. he pulls my shorts down. exposing my ass to the cold air in his dark room. “you’ve been such a bad girl today y/n. i Was going to be gentle. but you’ve been such a little slut”. he rubs my ass before laying several harsh smacks on me. “uhngh~” i cry out. matt’s smacks only get harder with each hit. “you had enough yet princess?” he taunts. “hnnng~” i wail. he took off his belt and gave me a few firm smacks. i choke on my tears and moans from the abuse on my ass. he pushes me off of his lap onto the floor. “does the princess need her daddy?” “dont act like such a slut then” he smacks me one last time. i manage to crawl on the bed but matt pulls me towards him. he flips me onto my back and rips my panties off. he plays with my heat and teases me. he slaps, kisses, bites, and touches my pussy. not giving me any full action. hes doing it on purpose. he takes off his pants and slides his dick in my folds. which sent me over the edge. “fffuckk matt~” i moan out. he slips his member inside of me and begins thrusting aggressively. i start moaning loudly before he pulls and and teases me even more. “if you want daddy’s cock your gonna have to beg for it.” “please give me your cock! please! fill me up with your cock!” i moan and cry out. “ur so pathetic when you beg for me” “get on the ground.” he pulls me off the bed and pushes me down to the floor. “on your knees.” he demands. he shoves his full length into my mouth. gripping my hair so hard while he fucks my face. he moans out so elegantly. “god your gonna make me cum”. tears run down my face and im unable to form a coherent thought. “please cum on me matt!” i moan. “im not done with you yet.” “ass up baby.” he enters me again and fucks me deeper than before. “ffffffuck y/n” he grips my ass for more support. “you want my cum dripping out of you princess?” “yes!~ yes!~ please!~” i moan. “fuck.” matt releases inside of me, pumping thick white cum deep into my pussy. still gently fucking me, he pulls out to watch his cum drip from my pussy onto the floor. “learned your lesson brat?” he takes off my handcuffs and picks me up. “lets go get you cleaned up baby” he kisses my forehead and then my lips.

[godessanonymous]

Blame it on the Vodka - LN4

Request: No.

Genre: Fluffy (i guess)

Triggers: mentions of small injury

Summary: Partying in the Netherlands Lando gets a little injured, after helping him you spend the evening at the celebrations.

The picture of him on the boat inspired me to do this

Blame it on the Vodka – LN4 Martin Garrix had invited you to the king’s day celebration in the Netherlands, load so of people were there, famous influencers and artists and then there was you. Technically you could be categorized under the influencer division, yet you were nowhere as known as most the others here.

The invitation only got to you because you went to school with the DJ.

You were now a nurse working in a trauma center in the sunny state of Florida. A couple of years ago you and a friend started a podcast just for fun and your following on both the Podcast as well as your usual social media grew fairly quickly.

Though you were not even close to some of the people here it, your podcast and work was what made you happy.

The party was loud, you got on a boat around noon and were immediately greeted with a drink and an orange shirt to put on. You scanned the crowd around you once you had pulled the fabric over your head. The boat wasn’t huge, but It was big enough to fit a lot of people you didn’t know.

The whole city was a Party, boats on the water and orange things everywhere. You loved a little bit of partying so chances were you’d have some good fun out here. Able you probably needed a glass or two before you could truly come out of your shell.

You made your way through the dancing bodies, recognizing a face or two and giving people a big smile and muttered sorry as you squeezed past them towards the DJ Desk to greet Martin.

As soon as he spotted you his face lit up. Next to him was a familiar face, be it only from TV. F1 Driver Lando Norris, a glass in hand chatting to a girl next to him. You reached him and he immediately pulled you into warm hug. “How’ve you been? How is life in the sunny state?” he smiled.

“Oh its great! Work never stops, but I am really enjoying life over there. The Podcast has been going well.” You responded. That wasn’t the whole truth, your life was rather busy than chill and enjoyable. You were more or less working two whole jobs. Juggling being in the media and the chaos of the ER weren’t always easy.

“How’s Daniel?” he asked leaving you debating what to say. You and your boyfriend had recently broken up and it wasn’t a pretty one.

“Oh… yeah well I don’t really know” was all you said, pulling a confused look from Martin. “OK well I have someone id like you to meet, you still enjoy motorsport right?” he switched the topic. “Of course I do.” You said, you knew what was coming. He was probably going to call Norris over to the two of you. And that is exactly what he did. “Lando come over here really quickly.”

The Brit, clearly already a couple of drinks in waddled over, quickly excusing himself from the woman he was chatting to. “This is a old school friend of mine, Y/N. I think you two would get along well. She doesn’t know that many people here. Maybe you could put your chatty self to use and introduce her to some people around here.” He said half joking.

The curly haired man looked at you. “Well hi, I’m Lando and apparently I am your tour guide, its nice to meet you.” He smiled. “Well how about we go get you a drink.”

And with that you walked off with him to the bar.

“You strike me as a Aperol Girl.” He thought out loud. You chuckled, he wasn’t wrong. But you weren’t about to go easy today.

“Well you’re not wrong but ill take a Vodka-O, if I want to get through today ill need something strong.

“Alright then, ill take another one of this and a Vodka-O for the Lady please he told the man behind the tiny bar, sliding his empty glass over the counter.

You lost him on your way back towards the middle of the boat. The swimming party had set of and was cruising around in the calm water surrounded by a ton of other small boats with partying people on them. You had found some familiar faces to have small chats with but quickly returned to dancing to the music playing loudly.

At some point you were stopped and checked by some harbor police who wanted to make sure everything was safe.

The alcohol had started to make you feel just the right bit fuzzy.

You grabbed another light drink and walked back to Martin who was jamming out just like the rest. On your way back you noticed a small group of people all standing around one individual. You went closer to investigate whatever was going on.

Getting closer you were greeted with the slightly bloody face of the British man you were introduced to earlier. He was clearly more drunk than you.

“Well what happened here?” You asked. Still grinning he responded. “Weeeelllll, I was dancing and someone smacked their glass in my face and it cut my nose.”

Ok so nothing bad. “Well what do we do now.” Someone you didn’t know said next to you.

“Aright someone get me a first aid kit. That cut won’t need stitches.” You said grabbing a tissue.

“Mind if I have a closer look Lando?” He shook his head no so you stepped up to him and wiped a bit of blood away.

“Well at least its not in your eye.” Someone set down the first aid kit next to you. You quickly went through it checking what you got. Grabbing a little light, some gauze and tweezers you turned back to your patient.

“Aright let me just have a look.” You stepped even closer to him. He was sitting and you were not, so eventough you weren’t as tall he was looking up at you.

You just now noticed the pretty color of his eyes and long lashes that put most girls to shame. Now almost standing between his legs you shine the light at the wound. It looked fairly clean cut, though a small piece of glass was still lodged in the wound.

“There is still something stuck in there, ill have to get it out. Stay still.” You said before you grabbed it with the tweezers in one quick motion. It came out easily, it did also earn you a tiny wince from Lando.

“You look like you know what you are doing.” He said, eyes questioning.

“That’s because I do, I am a nurse.” You responded quickly while searching through the little medical bag for some disinfectant a bandage and some steri strips.

“Aright lets clean the wound quickly. Cover your eyes with you hands please. And this might sting a little bit.” You warned him before spraying to quick sprays of the disinfectant on the wound.

He flinched at the coldness.

In your half drunken state you rewarded him with a little pat on the head, like you would do to pediatric patients at your hospital.

You dried of the wound and leaned down a little further to better place the strips to hold the skin together.

“What a view that is.” Lando said, probably before thinking about it.

The comment made you blush a little. Your shirt was pretty but also warm and not too revealing but given the position you were in his eyes were on the same level as your boobs.

You quickly finished up placing a small bandage.

“Okay you are free to keep partying but watch out for dancing missiles.”

“Well thank you very much for your help miss nurse.” He smiled back.

“How about I say thank you with a dance.” A offer you could simply not decline. He didn’t waste any time pulling you towards a small free space to dance. His steps were a little wonky, but you got there eventually.

In all fairness the man knew how to dance, your bodies were getting closer to eachother with each song and the tention was getting stronger.

Maybe coming here, despite not knowing people, wasnt so bad after all.

[kisses4kei]

Help me out!! sanji x reader one shot

content: sanji x fem! reader. sick reader. Fluff. Kissing. Making out. Charecters may be slightly ooc!

have fun!!

You have been sick for the past 2 days. Lulling around the ship. Sometimes your freezing cold, others your too hot too even sit. You don't know why but you're just down.

Sanji has been trying too help you. He really just makes you different foods but you haven't been craving any food at all. Only ever picking at the food.

Today though you haven't been able too get out of bed. Your throat is raspy everything aches and it hurts to do anything. You actually hope Sanji stops by today you miss him. You also feel bad because he always leaves right after he gives you food since he doesn't want to bother you.

You hear three nocks at your door. "Its Sanji, can I come in?" Your face lights up with small but warm smile. "Please, come in." With that you hear the door creek open. "Hello sweetheart, I've made you some soup" He gently sets it down on your bedside table and goes toward the exit too leave.

"Wait, where are you going?" he turns around and is faced with a now sitting up you with a pout on your face. He turns on his heels "You want me too stay?" He looks smug and his arms are crossed. You look down in response. "If you don't mind.." You mumble quietly.

He sits on the edge of the bed next too you. You hadn’t planned this far. "How are you feeling? Any better?" He looks at you, not a hint of humor in his voice. You rub your eyes "A little bit..Your food has been helping." You shift closer too him on the bed not sitting next too him.

"Im glad I can help such a pretty face like you" You flush but you swear its the sickness. "Pft..Your always so flirtatious even when i'm sick and can barley get out of bad" said as you giggle and cover your face. "Only when its about you." You sit up straighter and suck in a breath. He sounded so sincere, so careful.

"What are you trying too say Sanji?" You look at him confused with a fluttering sensation inside your chest. He leans in closer "You don't know what i'm trying too say?" He looks at you deep into your eyes. "I like you, thats why I do this. I bring you food, flirt with you. All because I like you. I thought you knew." His voice was nothing but a whisper as he leaned into your ear.

He pulled away but stayed only millimeters away from your face. Your breathing is heavy and you need to ground yourself so you don't wobble. You just sit there stunned for a few seconds. The silence is broken by a scoff and right as you were about to say something you feel a soft pair of lips meet yours.

Your eyes widen but you eventually lean into the kiss.His tongue reaches the inside of your mouth. You two are moving with a rhythm, his hands find a way too your lower back and yours around his neck. You then slowly pull away stopping the kiss short. He looks desperate like he needs more.

"Ill make you sick Sanji..." You flush and look away. "You think I care about that sweetheart?" His lips then crash into yours again a more fiery and fierce kiss. You didn’t even feel sick anymore and after this it seemed your sickness really just disappeared on their own.

Thanks for reading!! This was just a short cute lil thing but yk!

Have a good morning/afternoon/evening/night!!

-jill :3

[elvisslut]

Why must we be like this

Warnings- ALL PARTIES ARE 18+, best friends dad, cheating on wife, drugs, smut!, foot fetish, power kink, cursing, elvis pushing reader to limit, manipulation, age gap, anal, oblivious reader, virgin reader (Lisa was born earlier and is 18 as well as the reader)

You and lisa smiled widely at the large hotel her dad was staying in, the one you and her would be staying in as well, you both gave your bags to the doormen and headed upstairs, you adjusted your skirt you secretly wore just for elvis. Heading to his room with lisa, both of you running to him and forcing a group hug onto him.

“Hey girls” he says with a laugh after finding his footing again. “How was the trip?” He asks pressing a kiss to each of your heads, lingering a little longer on your head and taking in the scent of your shampoo.

“It was good..excusing me though..im gonna go take a nap in our room..y/n?” Lisa says

“Ill hang out up here a little longer, gonna watch the football game” you say, it wasn’t uncommon for that to happen either you enjoyed the games and watching elvis yell at the teams, you earn a nod from lisa before heading to the couch and sitting down, watching the ball get tossed around, you knew nothing of the sport you just poked fun at elvis.

“How was the plane ride? Y’all have a bumpy one?” He asks, you smile at him and shake your head. “No it was smooth, till lisa tried to drive, its like when you try to drive the plane” you say with a chuckle, getting a eye roll from Elvis.

“It made me chip my nail..it really upset me, the ones you took us to get done, i kept them so nice till today” you sigh as you looks at the chipped nail, elvis reaches over and grabs your hand, looking at the nail himself. “Well ‘m sorry honey..i can take ya to fix ‘em..” he said softly, running his finger over the chip.

“Its fine crazy, ill live” you chuckle, pulling your hand away and laying your head back on the couch. “Priscilla is wanting to come up by the way. Shes really gotta stop ticking me off too. She acts like she-, nevermind forgot i was talking to you” he frowns at your cut off and shakes his head. “No honey, talk to me.” He softly spoke, laying his hand on your leg and squeezing softly.

“Well..I don’t want you mad..” you say, sighing and messing with your nail. “If ya don’t stop messin’ with your nails ill get them redone, hows cilla been to ya baby. I could never get mad at ya” you sigh and look at the tv.

“Shes just a bitch sometimes..she acts better then me..she likes to exclude me from things that lisa wants me to be a part of an’ she doesn’t let me stay the night when youre gone..” you explain, elvis takes in what you said and frowns deeper.

“‘M so sorry honey..ill talk to her” he reassured, panic set in as he got up, you grabbed his hand and pulled him down, accidentally pulling too hard. It caused him to come crashing down on you, his hip pressed up against your pelvis, forcing him to rut against your thigh, his nose slammed into your forehead.

Elvis groaned in both pain and pleasure. “Ow, fuck sorry..” you mumble, rubbing where his nose hit. Not realizing he was straddling your thigh, creating a problem for himself.

“Dont..dont call her..please..” you begged softly, earning a sigh and reluctant nod, getting off you and clearing his throat. “If you call her el..she might not let me see lisa when you’re gone..I need my best friend..” you add to ensure he didn’t call his wife.

“You’re such a good friend to my lil’ yisa ya know that?” He says, smiling and crouching down to be eye level with you. “I try to be..all you guys mean so much too me..” you say softly, he started to become hyper aware of your features. Your lips looked so red and kissable with that pretty lipstick you applied, you’re eyes shone brighter then the stage lights he had to endure every night. You were nothing less then a goddess, how had he not realized what the look you always gave him meant, how you look at him with a small pout, puppy eyes he wants to kiss your whole face.

“Hello?” You say with a chuckle. “Sorry baby..” he breathes out, getting up and straightening out his jacket, clearing his throat. “Games almost over, ya should probably head down to the room” he says sitting back down and keeping his eyes on the tv.

You nod, getting up and going to the door. Elvis trained his eyes on your legs, looking up to your ass and back down. You were really oblivious to how he’s looking at you, especially when he’s drugged up. He doesn’t hide it well but he hides it enough for you not to notice.

You went down to the room he got for you and lisa, going in and getting on your bed. “Your dad is so weird sometimes” you say, shaking your head and chuckling. “Yeah, I don’t think he knows how to act around anyone” she says jokingly, you nod in agreement.

—A week later—

You said goodnight to lisa and headed up to Elvis’ room, you had promised to watch a movie with him- well you and lisa but lisa was too tired so you went alone.

You went in and smiled as you seen elvis ready with popcorn, candy and some other snacks. He smiled up at you then quirked a brow.

“Wheres yisa?” He asks, you go over and sit down, grabbing a blanket off the back of the couch and covering up then stealing some of the popcorn.

“Shes too tired so its just me tonight” you say after swallowing. He nods and presses play on the remote, scooting closer to you and taking some of the blanket. He wrapped his arm around you and gently pulled you closer to him as well.

“She gonna come to the next one?” He asks, as much as he did want to be alone with you right now, he still wished lisa would have came too.

“Yes crazy she’s coming to the next one” you say. He nods and lays his hand on the outer part of your thigh, rubbing his thumb against your skin softly. Happy you wore the short pajama shorts he’d bought you a few months back.

He looked at you as you paid attention to the movie, taking in every detail of you. He clenched his jaw and moved his hand to the inside part of your thigh, pulling your legs apart.

“What are you doing?” You ask softly, looking at him. He swallowed back and clenched his jaw again.

“Tryin’ to make ya more comfortable” he lies, he knew you wouldn’t question him- matter-of-fact he knew you’d believe him. He could manipulate you so easily and he knew it.

You nod and look back at the tv. You poor thing, he thought. He was trying so hard to hold back but he wanted you, one thing about Elvis is he gets what he wants.

And what he wants is to corrupt the hell out of you. You had talked about sex with him before, you wanted to wait for the right man. Elvis believed- knew, he was the right man.

His hand traveled up your thigh as you kept watching the movie. He had no chance at paying attention to the movie, without anything stopping him he knew he’d get what he wants, tonight.

“Look at me for a second sweet girl” he says, bringing his other hand up and making you look at him.

“I want ya to tell me somethin’ an’ i want the god honest truth. Got it?” He says, you nod softly. “What do ya think of me?” He asks.

“I love you, you and Lisa mean alot to me. You’re like family” you say smiling at him, he frowns a bit. “N-not what i meant baby..all of lisas other friends find me attractive an’ what not, do ya think the same?” He asks, your cheeks heat up as try to look down, Elvis making you continue to look at him.

“Well..yeah..but everyone does I figured it wouldn’t be so bad..” you answer. He smirks and shakes his head. “No baby it ain’t, i just needed to know” he says before pressing his palm against you.

Your eyes widen a bit, trying to look down but Elvis tightened his grip on your face. “Let me take care of ya” he says biting his lip. “Elvis..is this something we’re supposed to be doing?” You ask.

He clenched his jaw and nodded. “Yeah” he says, of course you believed him. He shouldn’t be manipulating you but he cant help it when it comes so easy. He craves to be near you. He craves to be in you.

“I wanna-..i want ya to have the rest of my kids.” He says, you frown and search his face. He didn’t want to sink so low but he was about to. He was going to completely manipulate you into being with him.

“God made ya for me, he made that very clear to me” he says, he knows that you’d listen to him but you would definitely listen to god. You were a pure Christian girl.

“Oh..what about lisa?” You ask. He shakes his head “don’ tell her a word of what happens tonight” he responds, you nod in understanding.

“What do you want me to do Elvis?” You ask, he smirks and pulls the blanket off the both of you. “Take them pretty short off an’ sit in my lap okay, ill show ya the rest” he says, you shake your head and look at your hands.

“I didn’t..i didn’t put on anything underneath” you say, Elvis gets up and goes to his room, grabbing a white pair of underwear with a little pink bow on them, going back out and handing them to you.

“Change into them for me baby” you nod and get up as he sits back down, changing into the underwear and getting in his lap.

Elvis lets out a soft sigh. “This is gonna be a bit of a weird feelin’ but it’s gonna make me feel so so so good baby..” he says, grabbing your hips and moving you slowly against his crotch.

“Oh fuck..yes..” he huffs, you frown at the feeling, it feels good just unusual. “I need to be in ya..i gotta..” he says impatiently, he pulls the underwear you just got on off and pulls his pants down as he lays you against the couch.

He wasn’t going to be easy with you and he felt bad but he was too far gone. His lust for you was so intense, he could not think a single thought except for how hard he’s going to fuck you.

Without much of a warning he lined himself up and slammed his hips forward, your eyes widen as a scream comes out of you, he moves his hand to your mouth and shakes his head. “Don’ scream, holy fuck..” he huffs, leaning down and kissing your head.

Tears fell down your cheeks as you stared at him, he was a mess over you, there was no way he could stop himself now- now that he’s made you a woman. You’re his, you’re all his. It’s all he’s longed for and he finally has you.

He moves his hips at a fast pace, being extra sure to slam all of himself into you with every thrust. Tears continued to fall down your cheeks as he did.

“Baby don’ cry, it’ll feel good soon..trust your crazy. Me an’ lil’ elvis would never hurt ya..oh fuck.. fuck relax baby, youre gonna cut my damn dick off if you keep tensing up like that” he says, you gulp as it very slowly turns into more pleasure then pain.

“Thats it baby..you’re so good for me..such a good girl..”he says, moving his hand from your mouth and pressing his lips to yours sloppy, he shoved his tongue into your mouth, trying to get you to be as sloppy as him. It worked.

You make him a completely different- crazy version of himself, he’d murder to be with you again. Literally.

He pulled away and pulled your shirt off, squeezing one of your breasts softly. “Oh my god..” you moan.

“Not god, just me baby..” he huffs cockily. He’d officially done it, what he’s craved, what he’s pray to be helped, he’s corrupted the poor little woman under him. In such the worst way, but he couldn’t help it. The second you sat on his lap he lost all control of himself.

You were about to reach your climax as he pulls up, definitely a first experience, but he was quick to flip you over and pull you up, slamming himself right back into you, gripping onto your hair and pulling your head back.

“Let the world hear what i do to ya baby..let them know who ya gave yourself to” he huffs, looking at the window, looking at the view of the city and smirking as he hears your moans, different words you use in place of curse words and his name.

Music to his ears is what it was. He’s only ever dreamed of this, he wasn’t so sure this wasn’t a dream he was in a trance of his own as you moaned louder, catching your release.

He smiles widely and slams himself harder into you, catching his own release and making sure you get every drop of him before he pulls out.

You collapse on your stomach and huff as you try to catch your breath. He’s not done though he wants to ruin everything of yours. He gets up and grabs you, making you sit up.

“Open your mouth” he says, pinching your chin in between his thumb and pointer finger. Watching you open your mouth before he grabs the sides of your head, pulling you forward before pressing himself into your mouth, going all the way in making you gag around him.

“Oh..” he breathes out, you looked up through your lashes tiredly. That only turned him on more, he held your head in place and pushed his hips up against your face before moving back and forth at a little bit of a slower pace than he was earlier.

“Ya my personal lil’ sex toy ain’t ya baby? Doin’ so good not talkin’ back or anythin’” he says, smirking as you gag around him again. “Not that ya can really talk back right no- woah! Hey! Watch the teeth shit” he says sternly.

You frown your brows up at his tone, tears that already collected in your eyes from gagging falling down. You can’t really do much to help yourself seeing as he was still face fucking you.

He noticed your change in demeanor somehow and chuckled. “I aint mad, just watch out, lil’ Elvis is sensitive.” He says, you nod as much as you can before he goes back to spitting curses and praises, soon coming to his second release of the night.

Letting go in your throat and making you swallow as he pulls out. “Thats my girl..you’re doin’ so good for me” he says, leaning down and grabbing your leg, rubbing down to feet and humming as he looks at them.

“Ya got some pretty feet baby..makes me want more..” he says, your eyes widen.

“I don’t know if i can take it elvis..” you say softly. “Ya can baby, i got ya, just a few more times then ya can get some rest” he says, you nod a bit and watch him go to the tv, putting something else in and going back to the couch.

He sits down and pulls you into his lap so you can see the tv. “Ya know them dancin’ videos ya use to follow? You’re gonna watch this an’ learn how to do it, don’ let lisa see it.” He says, you nod and watch as the movie starts, your lips parting as you watch.

Elvis lifts you up and lines himself up, lowering you down. You quickly look back at him and get off him.

“You missed” you say, he laughs and shakes his head. “No i didn’ baby, i was where i wanted to be” he says, you hesitate a second before getting back in his lap.

He lifts you up again and lowers you back on him, a soft moan leaves your mouth as he does. You try to keep your eyes on the tv, subconsciously looking away as some of the scenes start but elvis quickly makes you look back at the tv.

This poor couch, you thought, glancing down then looking back at the tv. Elvis lays his hand on the back of your neck and leans you down as he stands up, you press your hands to the coffee table looking at the tv again as he slams himself into, again..

“Fuck..” elvis moans lowly, squeezing your ass. “Elvis, i don’t think i can take much more..” you say as softly as you possibly could in the moment.

“Ya can, just shut your mouth for a minute” he says, pulling you up by your hair. “Be good for me..id hate to punish ya for bein’ a bad girl” he adds, and that worked, you don’t want him to call you that because that would absolutely destroy you.

Not too long after he was catching his release again, huffing and sitting down with you still in his lap.

“Just a few more times baby, i promise” he says, lifting you up and laying you against the couch. He gets between your legs and leans down, wasting no time and immediately pressing his tongue into you.

You moan and tangle your fingers in his hair. “Oh-..” you breathe out in surprise, laying your head back. The feeling of his tongue soothing the ache a little bit.

“That feels nice..” you hum, rolling your hips against his face. He moves a hand to your foot and brings your foot down to his dick. He rubbed your foot softly against him, making him groan against his tongue.

He presses himself against your the bottom of your foot, rutting himself against it. “Elvis-..oh-“ you huff as you catch your release yet again.

He follows after you, coming on your foot as he licks up your release. “You’re so damn good..” he says, rubbing your foot softly before getting on his knees, pulling you to him and rubbing himself against you.

“That feel good? Ya sure make me feel good..” he says, you nod and moan weakly. “So good..” he breathes out. “‘M gonna make sure ya have my child.” He adds before pressing himself into, going even faster than before somehow, pulling weak and tired moans from you.

“‘M sorry” he breathes out, he was starting to feel bad but we wasn’t going to stop till he had his fill. “It’s okay..” you mumble.

He continued and continued pushing you to your limit, even pushing himself, he lost count of how many times he’s came. After a while he slows down and pulls out, leaning down and wrapping his arms around you.

“Go to sleep..i got ya” he says, kissing your head and picking you up, taking you to the bedroom, laying you down and going to the bathroom, cleaning the blood on your thighs and going to the living room, cleaning up the couch and the mess of popcorn.

He grabs your shorts when he’s done and goes to the bedroom getting your hair brushed out a bit before he decides to start a bath to get you cleaned up.

He goes and starts it, waiting for it to fill up then picking you up, taking you to the bath. He carefully washes your hair out and cleans off your body, paying extra attention to your foot and thighs.

He gets done and grabs you out of the bath, getting your hair dried and your body then putting your clothes on you, grabbing some lotion and rubbing your legs and feet softly trying to help some of what you’ll feel in the morning.

Once he’s got you ready for bed he lifts you up and carries you to the bed, laying you down and kissing you softly, looking over your face as you sleep.

“‘M so sorry lil’..” he whispered before getting himself cleaned up and ready for bed, he crawls in by you and wraps his arms around you going to sleep.

The moment you wake up and go to move, tears fill your eyes. “Ow” you breathe out, Elvis hums and stirs awake, pulling you closer to him making the pain worse making you hiss.

“Elvis let go of me..” you say, tears slipping down your cheeks, he looks up at you with guilt in his eyes.

“‘M sorry baby..” he says softly, letting go of you. You sigh in relief and close your eyes, staying as still as possible. “Did you mean to hurt me?” You ask softly, opening your eyes and looking at him.

“No..i just..i couldn’ help myself..’m so sorry..” he says, laying a hand on your thigh and gently rubbing up and down.

“Ill be more careful..” he says softly.

[avengersassemble123]

Gift of remembrance

Pairing: Sanzu Haruchiyo x reader (Bonten arc - slight spoilers ahead)

Genre: Fluff, Heartwarming, (Bonten Sanzu behaviour ig)

---------------------------------------------------------------------------

"Im also planning to gift him the video game he had always wanted and maybe hold a surprise date night for him." Your best friend explained, as she talked about surprising her husband on their anniversary. "Aww (y/bf), thats so sweet. I'm sure your husband would love it." you complimented as we chatted and hung out for a while.

By evening you had returned home as you made way into the bathroom to get freshened up. You then changed into a new pair of clothes, as you went into the kitchen to reheat the food, when you heard your house's door open, signalling your significant other's arrival.

"I'm home." You heard your boyfriend speak, before some amount of shuffling and some moments of silence, before you felt arms wrap around your waist, "Hey baby." you acknowledged as Sanzu buried his face into your neck, as his muffled voice spoke, "Hey babe, missed you" You chuckled, as you tried to wriggle yourself out of his grip, "Had a long day? Go take a shower and tell me about it because you stink of sweat and i just freshened up."

"What if i don't want to?"

"Ill drag you there myself."

"Aww you're no fun, you wound me baby"

You rolled your eyes before pushing him towards you two's room, as he cackled on his way. After he freshened up, you both sat on the living room couch with your dinner, talking about each other's day and today's gossips from both of yours' workplaces, before the topic of your best friend came up.

"-and that's how she plans to surprise him."You finished explaining, as you finish off your food with the last bite, while your boyfriend listened patiently, before a sly grin appeared on his face,

"Well I've done a lot of romantic things for you. How come you've never done anything romantic for me?" Sanzu asked teasingly, poking your waist.

"'i do." You defended, as you whined dramatically.

"Oh yea? Name one."

" I can name a few-"

"Sex doesn't count."

"Oh"

You visible deflated, as you squinted your eyes, thinking what romantic thing have you done for him.

"Well what about the bed and breakfast you had in the beach house you rented from Rindou?"

"Well, technically i took you there, all you did-"

"Yea i know what i did." I stopped him mid sentence, as i slightly felt my face warm, but realising it was not exactly a romantic gesture without 'engagement of bodies'.

"I bet Rindou had to throw out that rocking chair." Sanzu snorted, giggling shamelessly, while you kicked him slightly, embarrassed.

"Hey I can be romantic when i want to." You defended.

"Fine." Sanzu shrugged, "But also not true" Sanzu retorted, teasing you slightly, making you roll your eyes.

"Okay, just you wait and see. I will romance your freaking ass off." you challenged, while Sanzu snorted.

"Hmm, i wonder how a baby like you would actually manage to romance a high profile yakuza member like your sexy partner." Sanzu bullied you, as he got up the couch to wash his plate in the sink, while you gave him the middle finger.

---------

"Well i know its unlikely for me to call you, but thank you so much for taking some time off from your schedule and coming over." You said, as you invited your guest over into the house.

"Well you called the right person fortunately, plus its a real surprise when a person like you is trying to 'seduce' a freak of a being like Sanzu." Kokonoi explained, as he walked in and invited himself over your couch.

"Ok so I've been really struggling with this, and you are the only closest person i know who knows Sanzu well, and has somewhat of an idea on the choices of gifts, than the rest of my options. You know what i mean." I said, as Kokonoi stoically nodded, as he seated himself on the couch, crossing his legs, his arms over it, holding one phone. He brushed his white hair back before continuing,

"Well the quickest way to a man's heart like Sanzu's is thr-"

"Pants. But Sanzu said sex doesn't count." I answered, as i got glasses of wine for both of us.

Kokonoi, looked at you blinking, his lips pursed, before taking a glass from your hand, "Aww you poor thing. You had one arrow in your quiver and you just can't use it." He nodded his head in understanding, while you replied back with a deflated nod.

"Well how about trying to cook something for him?" Well, its kind of hard for both of us to be present at home itself most of the time due to our works, and i wanted to do something different."

Kokonoi breathed out a deep sigh, "If this was some ordinary person, either this would've been easy to give advises, or i wouldn't have bothered showing up in the first place. But this is Sanzu, we are talking about. Nothing is normal with him, making me still hard to imagine that you managed to end up with him of all the people available in the whole of Japan, let alone the world. " Kokonoi sipped the wine, before continuing, "And i also want to see how this surprise and Sanzu's reaction turns out, and if the 'rapid dog' himself is capable of expressing emotions other than for our boss"

"Kokonoi.." i spoke out his name, making him raise his hands in surrender, "No offense sweetie. Anyways back to the topic."

"(NAME), if you truly want to be romantic, then this stuff need to come from withing you."

"I know, but its just so hard, I don't know why."

"I guess its probably because you never had to do this stuff because you're young and beautiful, and men, including Sanzu, must've thrown themselves at you." Kokonoi replied.

You pursed my lips, nodding in understanding before speaking up, "Yea I'm trying to feel sad about it, but i just can't."

"Thought so." Kokonoi rubbed his fingers at the bridge of his nose, "I can see why you two go well together."

---------

You and Sanzu were having a candle light dinner at your place itself, as you both chatted. "Have to say, i didn't expect you to manage this surprise without me knowing. And its coming from you of all people" Sanzu teased.

"Well, only learned from the best, and of course, i didn't forget my promise." You replied back.

As you both finished your dinner, you pointed your fork at him, "Alright Mr. Haruchiyo. Get ready because a crap storm of romance is coming your way."

Haruchiyo dramatically gasped, as he held his chest by one hand, "More romance? Stop it, you're gonna make me cry, sweet cheeks."

You stood up, as you smiled slyly, before walking towards the counter, picking up a small weaved basked.

"Sanzu smirked, as laid back on the chair, man spreading, his one hand on the table, while the other holding his face, rubbing his chin, squinting his eyes at you amused. "You seem pretty confident."

"Oh I am."

You then started dropping rose petals from the basket to the floor, making a path, "Maybe if you'll follow this trail, you'll know why."

"Ohh rose petals. Well now I'm just more excited for my girl's surprise." Sanzu said, whistling, slightly impressed, as he stood up and started following you.

As you led him towards both yours bedroom, he was met with a candle lit decorated room, "Wow baby, you really are pulling all the strings today."

You then set down the basket before picking up the wrapped gift placed on the bed, before gesturing it towards him, "Ok so i gave this a lot of thought, and i found something that might show you how much I love you."

Sanzu took the gift from your hands, before tearing the wrapper off and seeing the content inside it. His eyebrows slightly furrowed for a second before returning back normal, "Oh wow.."

"Its the ring which you had been eyeing for a while when you had spotted it randomly while you were out on a mission, and had told me about it that day, and i know how you like these kind of stuff, so i just thought maybe i could gift you something like this." You said with a smile, while you waited excitedly for his reaction.

Sanzu raised his eyebrows as he nodded and opened his mouth for a few seconds, before looking at you and giving you a smile, "I-its great. Thank you baby." He said, as kept on smiling, and looking at his gift.

You looked at him with confusion, as you had known him long enough to know something was wrong with his reaction. Even if Sanzu was Bonten's No.2, only few people could figure him out enough, if not all, and that included his boss Mikey, his brother Takeomi, and now you. His reaction could fool anyone, but you had dated and known him long enough to know.

Your smile deflated, before your hands fell to your side, as your tone changed, "What?"

"Nothing. I love it sweet cheeks." Sanzu said, as he held the gift in his one hand, while he wrapped his other hand around your waist, his face nearing yours, as he gave you a seductive smile. But you knew him better.

"No. Something's going on." You said, as you looked towards the gift, "Whats wrong with it. I remember you saying how you liked the ring when you had spotted your target wearing it, and that it would look better on you."

"You're right. I did say that. And here I am loving it. Especially since its a gift from you." Sanzu replied, not wavering from his stance and his usual demeanor, but then you felt him slightly furrow his eyebrows, pursing his lips, "...And that when i was returning to the headquarters a few weeks later, i spotted the same exact model in a jewellery shop...and i bought it."

You closed your eyes and faced the ceiling, groaning in frustration, as you let yourself out of his grasp and sitting on the bed dejectedly, "Oh my god...I'm the worst."

"Hey no baby, its really thoughtful." Sanzu said as he quickly set the gift beside and and reached towards you.

"No its not." You said, as you felt guilt fill you inside, "I mean, whats thoughtful is that everything you do for me." I said, my voice slightly quivering, as Sanzu sighed, as he knelt down on his knees, facing you, as he cupped your face with his one hand, while the other held your hand. "Its true baby, i did like your gift, and I'm glad that there is actually a person who cares for me like this in the whole world."

"No, its not better. Even if you work for such a dangerous organization, you still do things for me, while here I am, not even worth it, You know what, here-" You say as you stood up and went towards the closet, as Sanzu stood up.

You removed a box from your closet as you set it down on the bed, as you picked up one thing after the other. "Look here it is, here's the plane tickets you bought me when i was too poor to fly back home to visit my family, here's a necklace you got me before we were dating, and the rose you left in my windshield..just because-"

Sanzu looked at you, as you kept on ranting, as he stared between you and the box which contained all the gifts he had given you, even before and after dating.

"A-and here's the letter which you wrote me to confess your feelings after visiting me numerous times in the coffee shop i frequented regularly, all the pages of it."

Sanzu silently looked at you, too serious for his usual demeanor, matching the attitude he would have when he would be sober and in meetings with the bonten executives.

As you held and looked through the pages, Sanzu silently spoke up lowly, "I can't believe you saved all of this stuff.."

You looked up, as you looked at him in slight surprise, "Of course i did...Its you."

Sanzu stared at you for a few seconds, before reaching towards you and hugging you tightly, before kissing you lovingly, which you reciprocated with the same intensity, before breaking the kiss and hugging tightly.

"That is the most beautiful and thoughtful thing anyone has done for me, and it means a lot for me." Sanzu said, as he kissed your shoulders, still hugging you tightly while you chuckled.

You both stayed like this for a while, basking in each other's presence and warmth, before separating a while later.

Sanzu's eyes gazed at the box, a tint of smile on his scarred lips, before looking at an object in confusion, "Is that a pregnancy test?"

"Oh yea, just the first one. I didn't save them all." I shrugged, making Sanzu shrug in agreement, before diving for a kiss again, making you both fall onto the bed backwards.

[brooooswriting]

could you do a sam carpenter x reader sickfic type thing? i haven’t seen any but i was thinking sick!reader who tries to hide she’s sick from Sam but she has like food poisoning or something so she can’t hide it for long (or other way round where sam is sick)

Poisoned

Sam Carpenter x sick!reader

Tara Carpenter x reader (platonic)

“Alright, I’m gonna head out. You sure you don’t wanna come?” Sam called out standing in front of the bathroom door, where you hid from her. Well, that sounds way worse than it should, you were sick and this was sams first night out in months, so you didn’t want to be the reason why she wasn’t going. You’ve had a stomach bug since last night, you had been working all night on your essay as you couldn’t sleep due to pain, when Sam was awake she had to go to work while you tried to get some sleep and as soon as she was home she searched for you, but you stayed in your room as you needed to ‘focus on your paper’ and as she was done getting ready you fled to the bathroom, throwing up for the fifth time today. “Yeah, I gotta shower and then I have to keep working, sorry. But you go have fun, love you” you called out, trying to keep the vomit inside. “Im sorry. Are you sure you don’t want me to stay?” You smiled before quickly covering your mouth with your hand, “yeah, you go have fun” she called out a quick I love you before leaving.

You sighed when she finally left, taking a bucket from under the sink before walking out to the table where you sat down the bucket and your laptop. After 30 minutes of trying to concentrate you nearly passed out on the chair, deciding to lay down on the couch with a blanket and the bucket in your arm. It was now 8:30 pm which meant that you had enough time go get better before Sam came. Oh how you wished you’d get better soon, you felt miserable.

“Oh god, y/n are you alright?” Tara’s voice rang through the living room as she saw you sprawling on the couch, vomiting into the bucket, your face pale and sweaty. “M fine” you grumbled holding your stomach after emptying its containments. “No you’re not. Here, let me get you some water” she quickly got a bottle for you, while you held your stomach in pain. “Since when have you been feeling like this?” She asked and you decided to lie, “I don’t know?” She nodded deciding to grab you some painkillers. “Here, take these. Hopefully they will help you. Where’s Sam anyway?” She asked rubbing your clammy back. “Out with friends” you mumbled drinking some more, hoping that it will reduce the pain. “Want me to get her?” You immediately shook your head, “no, it’s her first night ou…” you stopped and grabbed the bucket throwing up again. “Okay, I’ll change real quick and then come back alright?” You nodded as you started to throw up again, it didn’t seem like you were going to feel better.

After a quick change into sweatpants Tara came back to find you laying on your side, your legs pulled up and your arms wrapped around your stomach. “Anything I can do?” She asked laying a hand on your forehead, quickly realizing how hot you were. The tears in your eyes were so noticeable that Tara decided that she couldn’t deal with this on her own.

“Sam?” She whispered into the phone, “Tara, what’s wrong?” She asked walking out of the bar to hear the younger sibling better. “It’s y/n, she’s ill. She’s constantly throwing up, she’s hot and her stomach hurts. She didn’t want me to call you but I don’t know what to do” her voice was pleading, Tara loved you like a sister but you never were one who showed her pain, so you crying because of pain even after painkillers was too much for her. “I’ll be there in 10” her sister said before hanging up.

The brunette entered the apartment 6 minutes later, running up to you with concern in her eyes. “Baby, what can I do?” She asked when she crouched down next to you, her hand on your cheek. “How was your night?” You asked trying to mask the pain you were feeling, but it was no use. “Stop it! Why didn’t you tell me? I would have stayed and looked after you” she said her thumb stroking your cheek. “It’s your first night off since forever so you should be able to enjoy that, go back to your friends, I just need a bit of sleep and then I’ll be fine” it was a white lie, you knew, Sam knew, Tara knew, damn even the mouse in the wall knew. “Be quiet and go take a quick shower, then we will go to bed” her voice didn’t leave any room for arguments, so you stood up with your arms still around your stomach and went to the bathroom.

By the time you finally pulled all your cloths off Sam joined you in the bathroom also getting rid of her cloths. “Come on, let’s get you washed up” she guided you into the shower, helping you wash your body and hair before quickly washing hers too. “Just stand in the warm water for a minute okay?” She headed out and quickly put on her cloths before returning with a warm towel and some of her cloths. “Here” she mumbled as she wrapped you up in a towel, by now you were suddenly freezing, shivering while she hugged you. “Let’s get you dressed” she kissed your temple before holding her sweatpants out for you and then slipping her hoodie over your head and quickly brushing your teeth.

When you entered the bedroom the smell of mint immediately filled your nose, “I made you some tea and there is a heating pad. I’ve also put down some painkillers but Tara told me that you already took some so you’re gonna have to wait for a bit before taking those. Some crackers are there too but you’re gonna have to decide if eating is a good idea right now. Plus I’ve emptied the bucket and put it down next to the bed” she explained as you two got into bed. “That’s really nice but you really didn’t have to. I should do this stuff for you, you’ve been working so hard lately” you told her, feeling bad for causing her even more work. “I actually like taking care of you more than being with friends without you. So be quiet and let me cuddle you until you feel better” she said with a small smile opening her arms for you. Even after acting unbothered the whole time the only thing you wanted was the comfort you for right now, so you threw yourself into her arms and started crying silently causing her to coo and rub your back. “It’s alright my love. You’re gonna be fine, let’s sleep a bit and then you can take some more painkillers okay baby?” You nodded into her neck before starting to fall asleep to the rhythm of her rubbing your back.

You woke up the next morning with a stomach ache but you hadn’t thrown up the whole night which was a plus and you felt less hot. “Good morning love” you rasped out as you looked up at your girlfriend who was watching you carefully. “How do you feel?” She asked and kissed the top of your head. “Better, my stomach still hurts a bit but otherwise I’m fine” you mumbled rubbing a hand over her abs. “Good, want some medicine? And you should probably eat something soon” she said as she leaned over to grab the water and the medicine before giving it to you. You mumbled a thank you and took the things she gave you before staring at her. “What?” She asked slightly insecure, “hug” you only pouted causing her to laugh but hug you nonetheless.

About an hour and a half later you decided to get up and get ready. You brushed your teeth and changed into a different hoodie that was still Sams. “Y/n, how are you feeling?” Tara immediately asked when she saw you, coming up to you and hugging you, “I’m better, thank you. And also thank you for calling Sam, even though I told you not to” you smiled as you parted.

You stood in the kitchen thinking of what you were gonna eat when somebody appeared behind you wrapping their arms around your waist and a hand carefully holding your stomach. “Should I cook something?” Sam asked as she rested her head on top of yours, “wanna give me food poisoning again?” You joked but nodded nonetheless. “Rude” she laughed but grabbed some eggs before hoisting you up on the counter next to the stove. “Y/n” she said as she cooked causing you to gulp, first name was never a good thing, “next time you aren’t feeling well I want you to be honest about it Alright? I was scared when Tara called me and said that you were ill. You’re my girlfriend and I love spending time with you even if it’s holding your hair while you throw up. I love you and I’d do anything to make you feel better” her voice was serious and showed her concern rather clearly which made you feel guilty. “I’m sorry” you mumbled like a guilty child. “You’re alright honey” she laughed and kissed you.

The rest of the day was spent in bed cuddling, she’d always look out for you no matter how exhausted she was.

[erial-c]

WEDDING AUDIO BAYBEY‼️

ohh bare with me this live reacting was all over the place

UGGHH SAPPY DAVID IS SO CUTE  . i may not be the biggest shaw pack fan but his character development will never cease to kill me

asher panicking 😭😭 AND CALMING HIMSELF DOWN because he didn't realize today was the day

baaabe being dressed already?? that's ao fucking funny they fr just let ash sleep (also a little bit of personaloty for baaabe  . the crowd cheers)

asher please your mate is already dressed  . dear god

i love that darlin out of all people wanted to make it so that the mates won't see each other until the ceremony . i know it's mostly because they wanted to drive the listener groups aka the "fun group" as they call it (listeners are bffies CANON!!!) but it's much funnier to think they hold onto that tradition for some reason 

"we're fun too, right?  ...right???" yeah asher whatever you say🤞

YEAASSSS SPEAKER BANTER I LOVE THIS SHIT SAOW MUCJ

"i don't even want to imagine what chaos those four are getting up to" THW SILENCE IN THE CAR???? erik was giggling and kicking his feet putting this in the script huhhuh

darlin being the one to make sure neither of the mates are peeking LMAO  . and sam calling them beautiful too. kill me actually

milo calling out asher's hair "are you trying to look like you got married in a wind tunnel?????? david don't let him walk out like that!!!!!!" further proving the headcanon that milo is the most well dressed of the shaw pack 

milo's nervous as shit  😭😭 i forgot he was gonna be the fucking officiant bro id be sweating fucking bullets too

"just maybe.. cuss a little less" great advice to tell milo out of all people  , sam

serious talk with the alpha and beta .. shivers

"why did you pick me?" asher  . asher  please.

"take the chance of saying something that's not perfect, if it means you get to really say what you feel" crazy  . i love angel (they are a listener character)) (they have no voice)) 

"you're the other side of my coin. you always have been" DAVID  . DAAAVIDDDD.

its good to see that david understands that while he know he made the right choice, he still understands the heavy responsibility he put on ash in assigning him to be pack beta

"you're too hard on yourself too" "well we had to have something in common other than destiny and smash bros, right?" KILL ME. stop being cute you loser

big three shaw pack hug  . ill kill myself

"i'm going to be up there lookin this good, people are gonna be confused on whose day it is!" "are they gonna be able to see you? do we get a step stool for behind the podium?" MILO DON'T LISTEN 2 THEM MY SHORT KING🤞🤞🤞 also beta boy😭😭😭😭😭

the effortless switch from banter to being all sentimental and emotional is crazy  . i hate these guys (lie)

RAAAAGHHH CEREMONY💥‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️ YEAAASSSSS

yaknow while i did expect a few side characters/guest VAs to voice side characters , i don't think the audio feels that empty . it's just focused on the main characters and honestly im actually ok with it

not the laugh track😭feels like im watching a sitcom this is so funny

im assuming all the guests are empowered/informed  , because milo is calling the couples "mates"

YEAAAASSSSSSSSSSSSSS THE VOWS‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️ HERECOME THE WATERWORKS (mine and theirs🤞🤞)

girl nevamind the silence for baaabe's/angelangel's vows r still so silly

"the- the pairs of you. to each other. not all together. uh- congratulations  . uh- clap, everybody. now" no actually we're a polycule neow . canon because i said so

[matan4il]

Daily update post:

Another one that I start with news of a terrorist attack. -_- This morning, a terrorist started shooting at several vehicles driving down the Jordan Valley, one of which was a school bus. The driver of this bus confirmed that the terrorist was wearing what looked like an IDF uniform. According to Magen David Adom (Red Star of David) there are at least 3 people injured, one is a 13 years old kid, another is in serious condition. The terrorist has not yet been neutralized.

After Amit Soussana's testimony about being raped by Hamas, we also have a Palestinian Islamic Jihad (PIJ) terrorist admitting during an interrogation that he had raped a woman in her home in an Israeli kibbutz. It's not the first such testimony, but these are important enough that when they're published, they ALL must be heard.

The prosecution against the terrorists responsible for the massacre of October 7 has been expanded to include clauses which could end with the death penalty (I found a link to a journalistic source online, then I accidentally closed that tab, and can't find it again, but it's been reported on TV. The following tweet recounts the indictments, though the headline is misleading. A death sentence has not been approved, it's just now approved that it's a possible outcome of the trials, once they take place).

For those unfamiliar with the Eurovision Song Contest, it's an event that has been run since 1956, with the intent to help heal a post-war Europe, by allowing countries to have a friendly competition (instead of a bloody conflict), and also have a chance to get to know each other better through music. It's meant to be a unifying, and therefore also a-political fun music fest. This contest has since been expanded to include all countries that are members of the European Broadcasting Union, which means Israel also gets to compete since 1973, and has even won 4 times. I wrote this post about our entry this year, if anyone's curious. In recent years, the ESC has been used for annual anti-Israel propaganda, way before the war in Gaza. This year, a senior official in Israel's National Security Office had to issue a warning for any Israelis going to the competition in Sweden, to be careful and hide their identity as much as possible. I am passing along the warning, because wherever Israelis are in danger, so are Jews in general.

After Canada, Sweden, Australia and Finland, now France is also declaring that it will fund UNRWA again, proving that no amount of complicity in anti-Jewish terrorism will stop some European countries from passing along money to those who have raped, maimed, tortured and murdered us. But no worries! France promises it will ensure that their money won't go to terrorism. I will just remind everyone that France brokered a "deal" to pass along medications to Israeli hostages with chronic illnesses in Gaza, in exchange for an additional 1,000 packages of meds for Gazans. It then said they got reassurance that the meds got to those hostages (meaning, France quoted Qatar, which quoted Hamas, so this is the international diplomacy version of, "Trust me, bro. I'm a highly reliable antisemitic terrorist"). When Israeli soldiers got to a hospital in Gaza, they found some of the med packages for the Israeli hostages in its pharmacy, unopened and clearly not delivered to the rightful address. So... IDK about you, but I'm pretty sure even the French know their assurances about the UNRWA funding are just empty words.

This is 40 years old Mohammad Alatrash.

He's an Israeli Bedouin Muslim Arab, and father of 13, including a one month old baby. He was kidnapped on Oct 7, and has been held captive in Gaza since. Mohammad's uncle said the whole family's life has not been normal since he was taken hostage. Despite that, today several families of hostages had a tour of the attacked communities in the south, with Israel's and Belgium's Foreign Ministers, his brother Salem said that they're okay with Mohammad being released later, as long as Hamas frees the female hostages. "It's hell what they're made to go through there." Just a reminder that Mohammad is one of the Israeli Muslim hostages that Hamas could have and chose not to release even during the month holy to all muslims, Ramadan.

(for all of my updates and ask replies regarding Israel, click here)

[kittyadore]

I wait for you

—𝘸𝘢𝘪𝘵𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘧𝘰𝘳 𝘦!42 𝘮𝘪𝘭𝘦𝘴, 𝘢𝘴 𝘩𝘦𝘴 𝘯𝘰𝘵 𝘴𝘩𝘰𝘸𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘶𝘱

—𝘴𝘢𝘥, 𝘥𝘦𝘢𝘵𝘩 𝘮𝘦𝘯𝘵𝘪𝘰𝘯𝘴, 𝘴𝘭𝘪𝘨𝘩𝘵 𝘤𝘶𝘳𝘴𝘪𝘯𝘨

—𝘸𝘰𝘳𝘥 𝘤𝘰𝘶𝘯𝘵; 3𝘬

—𝘢/𝘯; hi lovelies, i know i was supposed to post this like 2 days ago AND it wasnt supposed to be longer than 1,5k but i got a bit carried away.. also yall aint ready for this i promise i put my heart into this

You always hated waiting for your boyfriend. You absolutely despised it, every time you had to wait for Miles, because he had something 'important' ruin your plans. Not talking about him being a couple minutes late, but whole hours. This man got you waiting hours for him to come to your date, cause of his important shit.

In anticipation of the day, your heart brimmed with excitement for the long-awaited date you had planned with him. The nostalgia swept over you, knowing that today, you were destined to revisit the very restaurant where your first date happened, a place tinged with sentimental memories.

As you prepared for the evening, a soft melody escaped your lips, a reflection of the contentment that filled your heart. The sight of your boyfriend never failed to make your heart flutter, even though you two see each other on a daily basis. How could it be otherwise? In your eyes, he embodied perfection, a sentiment that filled you with gratitude for his presence in your life, day after day.

You got abruptly brought back to the reality as you heard the chime of a notification coming from your phone, the fleeting joy that had enveloped you dissipated as you reluctantly opened a text message from Miles, its contents shrouded in uncertainty.

[mi novio]: sorry ma, ill be abit late

[mi novio]: just a couple minutes dw, its something really important

[mi novio]: ill make it up to u

[you]: ur joking miles

With a mixture of frustration and resignation, you flung your phone onto the bed, releasing a heavy sigh that echoed through the room. It was a familiar scene, for his perpetual tardiness had become a predictable pattern. Yet, deep down, a glimmer of hope persisted, longing for a change this time.

Despite your longing to remain nestled in the comfort of your bed, the difficult struggle to secure a reservation at the coveted restaurant compelled you to get up to embark on your journey. Reluctantly, you grabbed your phone and tucked it into your purse. . A light mist of perfume adorned your being, a final touch of preparation. As you approached the front door, ready to step outside, you got stopped by your mother.

"Have fun sweetie! You going out with Miles?" Your mother's words echoed in the air as you gazed at her, a confused expression etched upon your face. Who else could you be going out with, considering your carefully chosen attire.

"Yeah mom, Miles." Under your breath, a mutter escaped your lips accompanied by an eye roll. You said goodbye to your mother and slowly made your way to your destiny. As you traversed the crowded streets of Brooklyn, you found solace in the sanctuary of your thoughts, determined to fend off mounting frustration aimed at Miles.

However, your patience had reached its breaking point. Despite your unwavering love for your boyfriend, you couldn't understand why was he always so late. His explanations of "it's important" or "it's my work" fell short, leaving you yearning for a deeper understanding that he seemed unwilling to provide, despite your heartfelt appeals. You couldn't help but wonder, could his reasons truly be so dire as to justify the constant disregard for your feelings?

Abruptly, a sharp masculine voice shattered the confines of your trance, jolting you back to reality. You strained to place the unfamiliar sound that pierced the air, it was definitely not Miles.

"Hey, hottie!" You visibly cringed at the words, walking away from the man. "Come on, talk to me."

"I have a boyfriend."You retorted firmly, refusing to stop. The stranger's advances failed to sway your resolve. "He doesn't have to know, really." He grabbed you by your shoulder, compelling you to meet his gaze, a physical imposition that demanded your attention.

"Fuck off." You firmly pushed him away in utter disgust, asserting your boundaries with unwavering strength. "No means no, and you better remember that." Accelerating your pace, a surge of urgency propelled you forward, fueled by a desperate need to escape any potential danger, trying to reach the destination as fast as possible.

Sitting yourself at the fancy reserved table, you took your phone out, but seeing no messages from your boyfriend made the faint smile fade off your face.

[you]: how long do u think it will take u

[you]: im waiting

As silence persisted from Miles, a heavy sigh escaped your lips, prompting you to seek solace in the realm of social media, curious about the lives of your friends. However, upon encountering a picture of your best friend and her girlfriend, accompanied by the "I love you" caption, a pang of unease twisted your stomach. Sure, you were glad she was happy, but the an insidious jealousy gnawed at your insides. In an attempt to stifle those feelings, you left a like on the image before returning to the conversation with Miles, desperately hoping that perhaps you had missed a message from him.

[you]: how long do u think it will take u

[you]: im waiting

seen

Seen. Three simple letters stared back at you, a stark departure from the norm. Miles had never once left you hanging, always quick to respond with a brief "can't talk rn" or "one sec." You tapped your nails on the table nervously, as a torrent of worrisome thoughts flooded your mind. Yet, among the anxiety, you desperately clung to self-reassurance, convincing yourself that he must be preoccupied with matters at hand, nothing more sinister or distressing.

[you]: miles?? everything okay?

[you]: im worried

Still nothing. . Concern mounted within you as minutes slipped by, morphing into an agonizing hour, with nothing but deafening silence emanating from your boyfriend. As the time was passing, it was finally time to leave the fancy place and make your way back home. Rising from your seat, a sense of hesitation clung to you like a shadow, your fingers lingering over the final check of phone notifications, before reluctantly leaving the building.

On your way back, you decided the best way to make all the bad thoughts go away is to grab a coffee. The very place where Miles had always whisked you away to after your dates, serving as a comforting refuge upon your return home, teemed with bustling crowds. Undeterred, you made the conscious choice to partake in your usual order, braving the crowd before embarking on the remaining walk homeward.

"Can I have the same as always, please?" you addressed the familiar cashier, whom you knew by name, as it was your turn to place an order. She received your request, responding with a gentle smile that graced her face. Completing the transaction, you exchanged payment for the awaited drink, patiently waiting for its preparation. With the warm cup now in your hands, you travelled the bustling streets of Brooklyn, a decision solidified within you to pay a visit to Miles' mother, consumed by growing concern for your beloved boyfriend.

Knocking on the door of the familiar place, you were greeted by Rio's radiant smile and tender embrace, a comforting presence amidst the storm of your emotions. Her perceptive eyes swiftly captured the worry etched upon your face, prompting an immediate shift on her face.

"Hey, what's the matter sweetheart? Did mi hijo do something again? I swear this boy is only trouble." she inquired, concern evident in her tone. She shook her head, almost as if she had already anticipated the nature of the problem. In response, a gentle laugh escaped your lips, a reassurance that the situation was not exactly as she presumed.

"Well, he simply didn't show up for our date. I mean he said he was going to be late, but it's been over an hour now and there's been no response to my texts," You explained, your voice tinged with worry. Anxiety flooded your thoughts once more, flooding you in a torrent of unsettling possibilities. "I'm really worried about him, this kind of thing never happens. I'm just scared something happened to him" You confided, seeking solace in the comforting embrace of Rio, not wanting to imagine a world without her son, your boyfriend.

Seated together on the couch, both you and Miles' mother found yourselves in a state of uncertainty, unaware of where the boy is. In an attempt to distract your troubled mind, she kindly offered you a slice of cake she had recently baked. As conversation flowed freely, spanning topics both trivial and profound, a sudden realization washed over you. In the warm embrace of this space, a sense of belonging enveloped your being, stirring a feeling that extended beyond mere comfort. Here, within these walls, you felt an unexplainable sense of safety, an assurance that surpassed any other place you had ever known.

The light-hearted conversation between you and the woman was abruptly interrupted by the distant ringing of her phone emanating from another room. She let out a small sigh, rising from the couch and making her way towards her bedroom to retrieve the device. While a wave of curiosity washed over you, it didn't feel appropriate to ask about the caller, knowing it wasn't your place to do so. Yet, deep within your heart, a glimmer of hope flickered— a silent wish that it would be Miles on the other end, assuring his mother of his well-being and providing an explanation for his absence.

A heavy breath escaped her lips as she returned from the other room, her trembling hands struggling to maintain a grip on the phone. Your attention instinctively turned towards her, and the expression on your face shifted abruptly as you took in the state she was in, a mixture of concern and apprehension washing over you.

"Is everything okay?" you asked, your voice trembling with fear and genuine concern, as she seemed to have heard something quite bad. "Is it.. Is it about him?" You questioned, your voice barely above a whisper, anxiety tightening its grip on your heart.

Her gaze fixated upon your face, a swift nod affirming the gravity of your concerns. "The hospital." she uttered with a sense of urgency, the weight of those two words lingering in the air. In a swift motion, she hastened towards the door, leaving you rooted in place, unable to move. The two words echoed through your mind, causing you to freeze in utter disbelief. The hospital? What happened? Questions swirled within, leaving you yearning for answers, your heart gripped by an unsettling sense of unease.

Not wanting to stay behind, and desperate for answers, you hurriedly trailed after her to the waiting car, realizing the urgency of reaching your destination as swiftly as possible. The gravity of the situation weighed heavily on your heart, knowing that your boyfriend's life hung in the balance, yet unable to understand the extent of the danger. Unwilling to burden Miles' mother with probing questions, you refrained from seeking specifics. As daunting as it appeared to you, you couldn't help but acknowledge that the ordeal was undoubtedly even more distressing for her.

On your way to the hospital, an undeniable tension enveloped the car, willing to broach the unfolding situation. The weight of the unspoken words hung heavily in the air, intermittently interrupted by muted coughs and the rhythm of pounding hearts, mirroring the whirlwind of inexplicable questions that consumed your thoughts. Each glimpse of crimson traffic lights intensified the sense of urgency, causing both of you to lose your minds, as reaching your destination with maximum haste became the main objective in that critical moment.

Exiting the vehicle in haste, the two of you stumbled towards the entrance of the hospital, urgency propelling your every step. With a sense of determination, you swiftly reached the reception area, conveniently located near the entrance. You, your voice laced with concern, immediately inquired about the whereabouts of your boyfriend.

"I'm sorry sweetheart, but that's the information only the family can get." She spoke, looking up at me from her seat, as I tapped my fingers nervously on the table. Her words echoed in my mind as Miles' mom stood up "I'm his mother!"

"Alright, ma'am, I get it. But her?" she gestured towards me, her finger pointed in my direction. "I'm sorry, I don't make the rules." Hearing those words, I moved away to the side, hoping that the woman at the reception could provide any information to Miles' mother. She shook her head in disappointment, releasing a heavy sigh, and then guided the two of you towards the room where your boyfriend was laying. As you traversed the corridor, your breath grew heavier, permeating the air with anxiety, while the glimpse of other occupied rooms passed by in a blur.

As you finally reached the desired room, you found yourself standing before its closed door, grappling with mixed emotions. While a part of you yearned to lay eyes on your beloved boyfriend, another part hesitated, fearing the sight of him in a vulnerable state. Miles held an irreplaceable position in your heart, and the mere thought of witnessing him in pain inflicted a pang of distress within you.

As the woman entered the hospital room, requesting you to wait outside for when she's finished, you decided to settle into one of the unwieldy chairs that lined the sterile hallway.Grasping a fashion magazine, you attempted to distract your racing thoughts, seeking solace in its glossy pages. However, your mind couldn't help but be consumed by a constant stream of questions, each one a knot of concern, wondering about what happened to Miles.

The sound of the door creaking disrupted your focus, drawing your attention away from the tightly clutched magazine. In response, you swiftly rose from your seat, hope and anxiety intertwining in your gaze as you awaited the woman's response. A faint smile played upon her lips as she met your gaze, her voice barely above a whisper as she murmured, "He's fine… I think." Her hand gently settled upon your shoulder, urging you forward, and you obediently followed her lead, guided towards the room.

With deliberate steps and hushed breaths, you entered the room, treading softly to minimize any disruption that might disturb Miles. The sight before you stopped your movement, capturing your attention and evoking a mix of relief and concern. There he was, your beloved boyfriend, laying on the hospital bed, hurt by quite a dangerous situation.

His braided hair laid loosely on the sides of his peaceful face, his eyes closed, and his head slightly tilted to one side. Taking a seat on a small chair positioned by the hospital bed, you delicately intertwined your hand with his, craving his touch and connection. Despite yearning for his warmth, you exercised caution, not wanting to cause him any discomfort. Your thumb gently traced patterns on his hand, letting out a deep sigh of affection as you admired his face, finding solace in his presence even amidst the current circumstances.

His shaking voice disrupted your thoughts, drawing your attention away from your contemplation of his features. Startled, you realized he was awake, his eyes still closed as he spoke. "Hey, ma," he began, his words laced with regret. "I'm sorry I couldn't make it. I'm sorry I kept you waiting." His apology hung in the air, permeating the room with a mixture of vulnerability and guilt.

"Miles, what on earth are you talking about?" you responded, disbelief tinged with deep concern in your voice. Your gaze scanned his face, your eyes stuck on his. "Look at yourself; this is not the time nor place for apologies. I'm just glad that you're okay. You have absolutely nothing to apologize for. Your words carried a genuine reassurance, urging him to recognize the profound relief you felt at his safety, and your inability to comprehend why he would blame himself in such a moment.

"I wanted to see you, ma. I know I'm always late or cancel our plans, I wanted to change that. I knew how much it meant to you, believe me. I realized how late I was, and I hurried to be with you, mami. But then this happened." he explained, his voice loaded with a mix of regret and urgency, his grip on your hand tightening. As his breath grew deeper, a sense of concern washed over you. "Are you okay? Miles?" you asked, worry etched in your voice, your attentiveness catching the shift in his breathing pattern.

"I'm fine," he reassured, though his attempts to calm himself proved pointless. "It's nothing, really. They'll release me soon, and I'll be back home before you know it, I promise, ma." You looked at him, concern deep in your eyes, as he spoke. You gazed at him, your eyes filled with deep concern as he spoke. The worry for his well-being weighed heavily on your heart, knowing that the state he was in was far from one that would warrant his immediate release.

"Miles, you can't be released soon. Just look at yourself, you need time to heal and regain your strength. I promise, I'll visit you as often as I can, but your health comes first. You don't look well at all," you started, wanting to express your genuine concern for your boyfriend. However, your heartfelt words were abruptly stopped by a long, uninterrupted sound that pierced the air, causing you to gasp in fear. Your eyes darted towards the nearby device, and your heart sank as you noticed a significant change on its display.

The door swung open, revealing Miles' mother standing outside, her face etched with worry. In a sudden rush, a couple of doctors rushed past her and into the room where Miles layed. Your body felt frozen, still gripping his hand tightly as chaos unfolded around you. One of the medical workers gently guided you out of the room, his voice a hushed reassurance, "He'll be fine." The door closed, separating you from your boyfriend, and you crumbled against the wall, sinking to the ground. Tears welled up in your eyes, tracing a path down your cheeks as the weight of uncertainty and fear pressed upon your heart. Miles' mother tenderly joined you, enveloping you in her embrace, her soothing words offering solace to both of you in this harrowing moment.

The words of your boyfriend echoed through your mind, a fragile strand of hope clinging to your thoughts.

"I'll be back home before you know it, I promise, ma"

I wait for you.

[sturn-saturn]

synopsis: you and your best friends matt and chris take a trip to vegas for chris's brand but you and matt end up being bored in the hotel rom

warnings: alcohol, suggestive, kissing

a/n: its 7am, im bored so enjoy whatever this is (not proofread)

..............................................................................................................................

i stir from my sleep to a sleepy matt. i turn over and check my phone to see its 2pm.

i check to see the text chris sent.

chris

“hey, just left. i dont know what time ill be back but keep yourselves occupied, PLEASE dont set the place on fire, love you.”

matt chris and i are staying at a hotel in vegas because chris had some work to do with his brand. nick was supposed to come but something came up with space camp and i volunteer to just go with chris and matt.

i lie in bed scrolling on my phone when i hear matt shuffle beside me.

"oh thank fuck youre awake ive been so bored matt"

"mm what time is it?" he mumbles out with his husky morning voice

"uhh its 3:37 right now"

"holy fuck its so late. did chris leave? did he say when he'll be back?"

"yeah he sent me a text earlier around 2. he said he doesn't know when he'll be back but i imagine he's gonna be really busy today. he said to keep ourselves occupied and not set the place on fire"

"im sure we'll be fine" he says cuddled up in the duvet next to me

"we should probably get up and clean this mess matt"

i hear a groan escape form his mouth protesting getting out of this bed.

we finally get up around 4 to tidy up the room and decide to go out and find something we wanna eat. we both settled on a mexican place we saw on the way to the hotel last night.

..............................................................................................................................

after eating we both showered and put on a movie to watch while we cuddle. matt and i have been best friends for years so it wasn't unusual or weird for us to cuddle, same with chris.

he sits up with his back against the headboard and i lay my head on his lap with my arm basically hugging both his thighs as he plays with my hair.

"you alright?" he asks softly

"yeah just still a bit bored"

he taps my arm to tell me to move off of him and gets up from the bed.

"what are you doing matt?"

"we are gonna have some fun"

he goes to the mini bar and turns to me holding a bottle of whisky

"matt no are you crazy?!"

"why not? a little sip won't hurt sweetheart"

he opens up the bottle and take two small glasses out the cupboard and puts them on the island.

i walk over to him a bit hesitant to drink considering the last time i had a drink i ended up with a tongue piercing.

"you dont have to drink love"

"ugh just give me the glass" i let out a laugh

..............................................................................................................................

matt and i dont have anymore than two drinks and he comes up with an idea.

"hey y/n?"

"hmm" i mumble out

"you know how your ex won't stop bothering you?"

"yeah..." i say turning to face him on the bed

"why dont we make him a little jealous?" he smirks

matt gets up from his spot on the bed and rummages through his backpack to find a small digital camera. "lets have a little fun with this thing yeah?"

i get up and smirk at him thinking about how my ex will react to me being with another guy. maybe that way he'll leave me alone.

matt comes up to me with the camera in his hand and he grabs my hand and leads me to the bathroom

he turns to face me and taps my hips telling me to jump up. i wrap my legs around his waist and my arms around his neck. my breath starts to get shallow as i think about how intimate this feels right now. maybe its the whisky? it has to be the whisky right?

"alright sweetheart, take the camera and take some pictures in the mirror"

matt turns around so that way his back is facing the mirror but im facing it due to him holding me. i get more comfortable and i lay my head on his shoulder as i snap a few pictures.

he puts me down on my feet and asks to see the pictures

"if i didn't know any better i'd think this is a real couple" he says

you scoff playfully hitting his arm.

"what if we kissed?" he questions

you feel like you stopped breathing for a second after hearing those words leave his mouth.

"w-what?" you stutter

"we don't have to but i feel like it would convince him further that you aren't 'single anymore'"

"no no i want to" you say softly looking up at the taller boy

he grabs your hand and pulls you closer closing the gap between you two. his hand on your waist and your hand cupping his cheek with the other is tangled in his hair.

he snaps a pictures in the mirror of you two kissing and as soon as he does, chris walks in

"i leave for a few hours and i come back to my brother tonguing our best friend in the bathroom" he says a bit shocked "nice work guys. AND YOU OPENED THE WHISKY WITHOUT ME??????"

..............................................................................................................................

a/n: im aware this sucks, sorry yall but those pics matt posted did something to me

[surfinminho]

Warnings: mxm, sub minho, slapping and some more !

Taglist @coastalmaine

Request

"I-I can't-" the amount of sweat on his face causing his glasses to slide off his nose bridge. His hair was sticking to his forehead, overgrown locks altering his vision.

"Such a nice figure minho, do you go to the gym?" You squeezed his arms. You weren't lying when you said he had a nice figure. Most of the time it's being hidden under baggy clothes, except for today.

Typical college party, boring until you saw him. Wearing a muscle tee and some sweatpants. You just had to take him home.

"a-ah yea I go to the gym" you smiled to yourself, rubbing up and down his chest.

"So you'll be able to fuck me hard hm? Use all that strength?" Leaning back, you throw him a condom packet.

You guys were already naked, making out on the edge of the bed. You fingered yourself on top of him assuming he's never had the opportunity to touch another person nonetheless a male.

He rolled the condom onto his cock, before trying to push in.

"S-sir! Its tight" he pulls out, hard cock slapping his stomach.

You rolled your eyes, pushing his back against the mattress. You stopped and stared at him for a moment. His chest was splotchy with red marks— along with his face. His mouth was agape, panting every few seconds.

You slapped him, tossing him the bottle of lube. " Minho, baby." You taunt, talking to him almost like he's a little kid. "If I'm too tight, you add more lube and finger me some more. Thought you knew that. How can someone so stupid pleasure me" you were having fun with this, making his cock twitch from the degrading words.

"I can! I can please you" if his legs weren't trapped underneath you, you would bet he would be throwing a tantrum right now.

"Okay, let's try again"

He clicks open the lube bottle, drizzling some on the head of his cock. Spreading it around with his fingers.

He tried again, lining his cock up with your hole, slowly pushing it in. The stretch made you arch your back, trying to accommodate the length.

He was long and girthy. sucks that he doesnt know how to use it.

"W-warm" he bottoms out, eyebrows pushing in.

"What? Do I have to tell you everything? Start moving"

"If I move, i-ill come!* He tried to ignore the tight feeling in his stomach. Tip probably an angry red.

You roll your eyes again, putting both hands on his waist. Looking him in his eyes as you ride his cock.

"No, n-no" his eyes that were once closed shot open, tears slowly pouring out.

"How are you supposed to please me if I'm doing all the work?" You laughed at him, leaning towards him to talk his bottom lip into your mouth.

His response was illegible, either from the fact youre biting his lip or of your ass gripping him tight.

His hips juts up, before settling back down.

"Shit, just like that minho" you let go, pushing your face in his chest.

He grips your waist, fucking up into you fast. Tip brushing against your prostate.

"Wanna make you cum, please"

[sinteez]

seonghwa x reader

seonghwa  x reader 

Merman x hunter

In a world full of mystical creatures humans and creatures used to live in harmony that was until a creature turned his back on them making them now rivals. You have been raised by your father as unfortunately a creature had killed your mother making you and your father despise the creatures so it turned you into what you are today.HUNTERS.

Today was an fun day for you as every weekend you are always out with your father and you very much enjoyed it because it was the only time he would stop talking about mystical creatures. Yes you hated them but every now and then it got annoying hearing the same things repeated over and over again. However you did enjoy the fishing lake but not as much as the beach… the fishing lake was very deep and there was a tunnel leading to the sea so youve always wondered what things could be living there.

As soon as you got to the lake cabin your father owned you you smiled getting out of the car and started walking towards your room “ hey y/n are you not going to come for lunch with your old father?” your father spoke to you practically pouting making you laugh at him “yesfather ill just get dressed and ill go get lunch with you” you answered back making your dad have a huge smile on his face. You walked upstairs and immediately put your bagon the floor next to your bed and sighed “ill come back for you later my friend” you spoke to your bed wanting nothing more than to just fall asleep from the long car ride. Once you got changed you headed downstairs to your father taping his shoulder making him turn around and smile at you “oh my dear you look beautiful” your father spoke out making you smile from ear to ear and thanking him before you both headed out to the cafe and getting something to eat.

You and your father had the time of your lives catching up on everything and even talking about some old past memories you used to have here. When you got home you immediately walked to your bedroom getting some clothes and went for a shower. Coming out of the shower you did what you do every night and start reading before feeling your eyes getting slightly heavy falling asleep till the next day.

You wake up the sun blinding you as you forgot to close your curtains after reading your book last night. Looking around you getting up out of bed to walk out to the balcony of your room taking in deep breaths and looking at the clear white blue sky. This was one of the reasons you still came here … you enjoyed nature actually you loved nature always wanting to be outside wether or not the weather is good or bad youd always love what the world gives you and you thinking this let a smile creep up on your face.

You stretched and heard your dad calling for you so you hurriedly closed your doors but leaving them slightly open before running downstairs meeting a huge smiling father “good morning father how are you?” you asked before sitting down and started eating what you assume your father had cooked up for you like he did every morning. “Good morning my pumpkin did you sleep well?” your father asked making youtube and nod “ i did father i hope you did too … isnt it beautiful weather outside?” you asked your father knowing he also liked nature he nodded and chucked “ ofc course y/n … i was thinking… why dont we go fishing today?” your father asked you making you stand up excitedly and nod. You loved spending time with your father but sometimes with his work its hard to do so any chance given youd always take it. As soon as you stood up you headed upstairs putting on some comfy clothes and headed back downstairs. “ ok father im ready” you said to your father making him take his things and nod before getting his shoes on and headed over to the late which was only across the little bridge outside of your cabin 

“y/n dont forget to be quiet for me… you never know what i might catch out here.” your father said to you as he started setting up his equipment making you nod and set up two pull out chairs of a bag for you and your father to sit on. You got all of your things ready and relaxed in your seat again feeling your eyes getting heavy. You always fall asleep because no matter how many times your father wont catch anything he still never gives up. You was about to fall asleep but your father shouted and screamed that he saw a huge tail in the lake making you groan as he has done this a couple of times “ father theres nothing there you say this all the time” you said to him but he didnt listen “y/n its a mermaid im sure of it! I shall catch it and kill it they are abominations to this world and no mystical creature should live” your father screamed at the top of his lung making you grit your teeth… this annoyed you because at home all he talks about is mystical creatures and how he saw it kill and drown your mother but you came here because this is a place he never talks about them till now so you stood up and walked back to the cabin, your father watching you “y/n where are you going im sorry!” your father shouted and apologised but you just walked into the cabin and straight to your room changing and laying on the bed closing your eyes 

Your father sighed and tried to look for the mystical creature but not seeing it anywhere he decided to reach in the bag next to him and start eating some food he prepared. Your father was relaxed until he saw another tail he dropped his sandwich before taking his binoculars and seeing it was infact a mermaids take but as he moved to look further along the body he saw it was a merman changing into human making him scoff and grit his teeth “ hey you?!” your father shouted loudly but as he saw the merman run, your father by the time he packed up his things quickly but the merman was out of his sight making him sigh and just sut back on his chair waiting for the merman to come back 

You was laying in bed relaxing and closing your eyes slowly drifting to sleep until you hear the doors to your bedroom open and close…it wasnt just any doors it was the balcony doors you sat up and looked around till you saw someone stood with their back facing you as if they were running from someone you could see the heaviness of their breathing and stood up going behind then and tapping his shoulder “ excuse me what do you thing your doing in my cabin and bedroom?” you said makingthe boy infront of you nearly stopping breathing he turned around slowly and looked at you. You was taken aback… the beauty the man behold was crazy everything about this man infront of you was perfect and you couldnt keep your eyes off of him.

To be continued…….

[grippingbeskar]

salt, ice and fire | frank castle

chapter twenty six - you bring me home

frank castle x fem! reader

warnings: 18+ content minors dni! (car sex lmaooo, mxf nothing you haven’t seen before, its pretty sweet <3) swearing, canon typical violence, mention of scars, injuries, blood, literally packed everything into this chapter its a big one

a/n: wow. this was so rough oh my god. the entire first draft deleted itself and i had to re write the whole thing from memory, so i lost my planned chapter. i really hope i got everything in here, and im sorry for the wait AND how long it is lmao but i just. can’t believe i really finished it. ill rant at the end, but if you only read this part, i love you. thank you for letting me share the absolute vomit that is my brain. you are the best.

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

“How was the drive?” Franks voice sends a shiver down your spine, even hundreds of miles away through a crappy phone line.

“Boring.” You sigh, pacing around the tiny motel room.

“You were meant to call an hour ago. Got me waitin’ up for you.” He sounds tired, and it makes your heart skip a beat. It’s stupid, but the image makes you a little giddy. Waiting up for you. 

“There was… traffic.”

“You get lost?”

“Fuck you.” You bite automatically and he groans.

“So yeah?” 

“Yes, Frank. I got lost.” He laughs, the sound managing to take your mind off the dark room you’d managed to secure for the night, the bedside light doing nothing to brighten the small space.

“I gave you a map. It’s a straight shot from where you started.” Rolling your eyes, you look at the map you’d now bundled into a ball and thrown into the trash.

“Who uses a printed map? Seriously, how fucking old are you?” It’s playful and familiar, and all the frustration of driving for 10 hours melts into the bed.

Being a key witness in a now ongoing case apparently didn’t come with any frequent flyer miles, because both Matt and Frank had said you couldn’t risk going through airport security and being flagged in a system, so it meant you had to drive nearly 18 hours to Florida. You thought you didn’t mind road trips, but after today you think it’s only road trips with Frank you don’t mind.

“Maps don’t change, baby. Besides, you’d drive yourself into a god damn tree the second that voice in the car told you you’d missed a turn.” You hate that he’s right— even the thought of that monotone voice droning in your ear for ten hours makes you cringe.

“Whatever. Tell me about something. You said you were going to speak to Madani today?” He’s the one sighing now, and clearly the talk was about as fun as your drive.

“She’s all over the place. Some mishandled evidence fucked their entire case, and Bobby’s lawyers were too well paid to let it go. Murdock said they’ll be able to find more— the appeal’s already been approved cause of how high profile it is, but he’s got no new evidence. He said he doesn’t know if they can get him.”

“That’s… what I expected, I guess.” Frank agrees, and your sudden silence only serves to bring the real issue to hand. “You know where he is?”

“Yeah. I got it covered.” The line goes quiet, and you don’t really know what to say.

On one hand, you want Bobby dead. You know can’t do it- it wasn’t smart, and the last thing you were going to do is drag everything Matt and Madani had worked for through the mud for someone like him, let alone put Sam in danger. Some fucked up part of you is a little mad that it won’t be you, but Frank has every reason to hate him as much as you. You know Frank wants this, and that telling him to stop is like waving a red flag in front of a bull. Your hesitation would only spur him to do it faster, be more impulsive. You don’t want to say anything to put him off.

On the other, you just want him with you. You worry like some love sick child, scared he’s walked out the door and isn’t coming back. You worry he’ll get caught, and end up in the exact spot he was trying to get you out of. You’re scared he’ll get hurt, or worse. Every time you close your eyes you can see him bleeding out, dark red staining your hands until you can scream yourself awake. There’s so many things that could go wrong, and ten hours staring over the hood of your car gives you way too much time to think about hypotheticals.

“It’s gonna be okay.” Frank says softly, and you flop yourself back on the single bed.

“Are you?” He huffs like the question is irrelevant.

“Madani asked about your dad today.” He ignores the question, and you’re too interested to poke him on it.

“Oh?”

“Asked what he knew about your time there. If he ever worked with the Gnucci’s.” A lump forms in your throat.

“You think she knows about the weird... blood stuff?”

“Don’t see why she would. Either way, it’s not gonna matter once he’s dead.” The bluntness of it almost makes you laugh. “He’ll be gone, and no one will come for it. Or you.”

“You don’t have to do this for me, Frank.”

“I’m not.” He pauses, and then sighs. “Alright, I am, but not just that. The shit he said to me in there— the things he said about you. The way he looked at you in there… I watched that shit, and there’s no way in hell that asshole does what he did and lives.”

“What if he was found guilty? Would you of left it alone?” Maybe if you’d been more helpful to Matt and Madani, it would of gone better, and Frank would be here.

“You want me to answer that?” A part of you knew he wasn’t going to let it go. That wasn’t who he was. It shouldn’t make you feel the way it does to know that Frank would kill for you— just to make you safe. It does anyway, and heat flushes over your face.

“Maybe you shouldn’t.” He agrees, a low sound rumbling from his end of the phone. “I spent most of the day wishing you were with me, you know.”

“Oh yeah?”

“Yeah. Turns out I fucking hate driving.” He laughs again, and if you could listen to the sound all night you think you’d sleep peacefully.

“You remember how mad you were that first time I didn’t let you drive?” Shaking your head, you flick off the lights slide under the covers.

“I was mad because you had a concussion and tried to fucking kill us.”

“Least I was gonna go the right way.”

“You tried switching drivers on the freeway, Castle.”

“Alright, I was a a bit out of it.” He says plainly and you smile so wide it hurts your cheeks. “Wished you were here, too.”

“I bet you did.” He groans, and you hear him shift on the bed. Your bed.

“Too much space in here. Didn’t even know we had this much blanket.” He makes a real noisy show of it, tossing around the blankets you usually roll yourself up in. It’s meant to be a light hearted thing, but for some reason the idea of Frank spread out on your shared bed, one that you’ve both used extensively— it makes your heart race.

“Dickhead.” He groans again, shuffling around some more. “This one’s too small. Probably have to sleep on top of each other if you were here.”

“M’alright with that.”

“Not a lot of room to move, though.” You look around at the room, hardly enough space to stand in the corner.

“We’d figure something out.” You let your eyes flutter closed, humming high pitched at the idea. “What are you thinkin’ about, sweetheart?”

“You.” You admit, and he seems to like it.

“Me too. Haven’t gone a night in this apartment without fuckin’ you in this bed. Drivin’ me crazy.” You hum again, pressing your thighs together to try and dissipate the heat that’s suddenly overtaken your whole body. “You thinkin’ about it now too, aren’t you baby?”

“Yeah, Frank.”

“Don’t say my name like that.” He growls, and you bite your lip to hide your laugh.

“Why not, Frank?” You practically purr the word, drawing it out and saying it all breathy like you do when he’s teasing you.

“Cause you’re gonna make me drive ten hours just to fuck you in whatever dirty motel you pulled off into.” You’re still smiling, but you think if you keep messing with him, he’d do it. He’d drive ten hours, a hundred of them if it meant teaching you a lesson. Or just being with you. “I’ll see you soon. Real soon, yeah?”

“Yeah.” You breathe out, knowing if you keep talking to him your entire plan will crumble in front of you, because you’re half considering driving home just to sleep next to him. “Soon. Be safe, okay?”

The words tumble out, and you try to hide the guilt you feel when you say them. He was only not safe because of you— because you couldn’t finish the job yourself. You’re glad he can’t see your face, because you hear him mumble on the other end and your eyes close listening to him.

“Always. Tell the kid I said hi.” With that, Frank hangs up the phone, and you slide it onto the table right next to the pistol you keep loaded and ready to fire.

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

Frank pulls the saturated beanie over his head, and it’s probably doing more harm than good at this point, but he doesn’t have a second to really give a shit. His eye-line is perfect— directed straight into the penthouse apartment Bobby Gnucci was driven to three hours ago. He’s been tucked away in the corner of the rooftop for just as long, watching the man pace and yell on the phone.

It had taken him a few goes to get the right frequency to listen in on the calls he was making, but once he had he took as much information done as he could. He’d had enough of watching, and now he was satisfied with the phones calls he’d listened to that the man was alone for the night; not counting his extensive security team layered through the apartment block. Frank felt the familiar hum in his veins, shoving his loaded pistol in his jeans and swinging the strap of a rifle over his shoulder, he headed down the stairs, across the street and slipped into the back of the building.

There’d be witnesses if he didn’t take the right route, and to make this work he needed every chance at an alibi he could get. He was so used to not caring— every time he’d gone into something like this, he didn’t have something to get back to. He had no preservation, no concern for what came after. Hell, if he was honest, he didn’t care if he went out doing something like this. He would of preferred it, maybe even hoped he’d die somewhere in the cross fire.

Even just talking to you on the phone had him itching to get back to you now. He wanted to be careful— something he never really thought of before. A heavy ache in his stomach that twisted something violent when he thought about not getting home, not making good on his promise from a few hours ago, it made him sick. He planned as much as he could, as much as he was capable of, and hoped to God it was enough.

Frank hid his body behind the corner of the wall. He hid his face, too, even though he’d already had Micro’s help shutting out the cameras. He knew it would set off alarms for the security team, but he planned for that. They’d spread out, follow orders that he’d listened to over the radio, three men on all the entries and exits, and then ten through the penthouse. If he timed it right, he could clear the first few levels before the guards arrived.

He didn’t care about making noise now— slamming his way up the fire access while Gnucci’s men no doubt got into position. He’d just past a number 6, and Bobby was on the top floor. 23. He kept going, not hearing any doors open. When he passed 9, the door on the level below him cracked open and he jammed through the next exit he reached, getting into position.

He could hear voices coming from his right, and steadied himself as he turned the safety off his gun. He had a small army of men to get through, but he knew if he could make it, landing the hit on Bobby would be easy.

He wasn’t nervous. Pure adrenaline flooded him, like it always did, and he didn’t think twice before standing out of cover and pulling the trigger.

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

“How have you grown so much?!” You nearly shout, hugging Sam tighter as he all but latches onto your leg. “God, you’re gonna be my height soon.”

“I missed you!” He says, words muffled in your jacket. You don’t even have to bend really, he’s that tall. It is even possible for him to grow that much in just a month? “Come! I want to show you my stuff. Me and Niko share a room, and it’s the coolest thing…”

You let him drag you around the house, showing you the bunk beds that are set up for him and Nikolai. He shows you books he’s brought home from school, and it makes you smile how chaotic his room is. There’s piles of books and papers everywhere, stuffed under the bed and nearly toppling on the tables. It looks like it’s lived in… like a home, and your heart warms and breaks all at once.

When he finally finishes his impromptu tour, he pulls you outside where the rest of the family has set themselves up, and runs out into the giant back yard to chase after Nikolai. You hardly had a chance to say hello to them, but if you were honest you hadn’t thought of anything but Sam since you saw him.

“Did he show you the bunk beds?” The doctor— Zaed, you remind yourself, comes up behind you on the deck. “He hasn’t stopped talking about showing you.”

“I thought he was gonna explode.” Zaed laughs, and you turn to look at him. He’s still sporting a scar across his forehead, and it somehow makes his older features look slightly hardened. His face was still soft, something about him gesturing kindness, an observation you never made in the months you were locked away. “He told me you made them.”

“It took me weeks. I am not very… handy.” Smiling, you turn back to watch Sam and Nikolai screaming and laughing as they chase each other with Nerf guns. “I am sorry for what happened with the case.”

“So am I. If he’d gone away, you wouldn’t have to stay in Witness Protection.” He nods, turning away for a second only to return and offer you a can of something. “What is it?”

“It’s Russian. You’ll like it— it’s strong.” You crack it open and take a long drink, hoping to drown the rising anxiety that kneads the back of your mind at the thought of what Frank was doing right now. “We don’t mind it so much here.”

“Florida?” He nods.

“We want to stay. Corinne thinks the children— with what they’ve been through, shouldn’t move too much. They seem happy here.” You hum in agreement, listening  to the light squeals of the youngest girl, who’s name you haven’t learnt yet, who’s got the biggest Nerf gun of all and is shooting the shit out of both boys. “It was my idea. To offer to take him in. If you are upset, please lay the blame with me—“

“Upset? God, why would I ever be upset?” He blinks in surprise, looking to you.

“You are here with him, and yet you still seem far away. I figured the suggestion was weighing on you. We only offer because… well, we have all grown quite fond of him, and for you— to you we owe our lives. I thought if we could make any of this easier…” You shake your head, finishing the bitter liquid in the can.

“You looking after Sam is about one of two good things I have going right now.” Zaed seems to relax, leaning forward onto the railing as you both stare out to watch the kids. “I think he’s happy here.”

“He is. He misses you, but he is happy.”

“And safe.”

“Of course. I pity anyone who would try to get past Corinne now.” You laugh at the tinge of genuine anxiety in his voice, as if he imagines it, but his eyes are full of admiration.

“I want to talk to him about it… make sure he’s okay, but if he wants to, I think him staying here would be the best thing for him.” Zaed doesn’t answer right away, just lets the echoed laughter of the kids fill both of your ears before he nods simply.

“He will be safe. And I am sure you will learn to love Florida, too, with how much you will visit?”

“What?” Again, a look of surprise crosses his face.

“Sam did not show you the spare room? We have cleared a space for you— whenever you need it. You… it is the least I could do. You saved my life—“

“Hardly.”

“I owe you it. My families life. My own. Whatever you should need here, the door would be open to you.” You have to look away, because it’s too much, and you don’t know when you became so soft that shit like this made you tear up.

“You don’t owe me anything. You keeping Sam safe is everything I ever wanted. I think we’re even now.” You laugh, your throat suddenly feeling a little tight.

“I couldn’t help but notice you arrived alone.” He questions, and you hide your face, unsure if the way you chew on your bottom lip gives too much away.

“Yeah.” No amount of alcohol could drown out the thought of Frank. You hadn’t heard from him in a day. Zaed looks at you, his eyes crinkling as he assess you.

“I thought he was going to drown with you that night. When he saw you go into the water… I recognise that look in a man’s eyes.” It seems so long ago now, and your hand instinctively goes to your stomach, where Frank sewed you up the first time. “He is coming soon, I assume? I doubt he would let you get too far from him right now.”

“Yeah, he’s…” You trust Zaed— but there’s only one person who takes precedent over the people taking care of your brother. “He’s just finishing up some stuff with the case in New York. He should be on his way now.”

“Ah.” He says, his eyes lingering on you in question. You say nothing, just sink a little more of the can. “Well, when he kills the ублюдок, I hope he makes it last.”

Before you can recover and wipe the shock off your face long enough to ask him how the hell he guessed what Frank is doing, Sam and Nikolai are in front of you, and Zaed disappears back into the house.

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

Frank grunts, a loud nearly animalistic sound vibrating off the walls as he clears the 23rd floor. Every time he breathes out, blood sprays out of his mouth. He can’t tell if it’s his own or he’s just covered in so much that it’s dripping off him. Either way he can’t help it, chest burning for oxygen after he laid the lower floors to absolute waste.

He’d ditched the assault rifle somewhere between the 18th and 19th floors, not even bothering to pull out his pistol. No— he’d fought every single one of them with his bare hands, and anything he could find scattered between dead bodies.

His right hand was fucked, and he’s pretty sure he got shot. Somewhere on the right side of his body, there’s a shooting pain between his thigh and his ribs, but it’s not enough to slow him down. He shoves his body weight into the penthouse door, throwing himself into guards he knows are ready and waiting for him. He reaches for his pistol, shooting three guys in the head before his eyes adjust to the dimmer lights in the room.

He hears them shouting orders, and he kills three more as he crosses the living room. One of them he puts through the TV screen, glass shattering under his hand as he crushes the man’s skull between the hard surface. The other two he shoots, and then moves towards the last four. All of them shield the door to the bedroom— putting their lives on the line for a man who doesn’t deserve the air he’s wasting.

Frank doesn’t have a moral compass when it comes to revenge. Not when it has to do with the people he loves. It’s why he clears the round of bullets in his gun on all four of them in less than thirty seconds, watching the lifeless bodies pile up in the doorway, there isn’t a single moment that he hesitates.

“Bobby!” Frank shouts, his voice horse and so loud he’s got no doubt the dead hear it.

He hears shuffling, and drops the pistol before stomping his way through into the bedroom. He sees Bobby, crawling across the floor in an attempt to reach for a gun dropped by one of the guards, but just as he goes to reach for it, Frank slams a bloody boot down on top of his hand, feeling the crush of bone under his weight.

“Fuck!” He shouts, and Frank smiles sickly, blood dripping from his teeth. “Get the fuck off me, you animal!”

Frank kicks him in the face, two of his teeth flying out and scattering across the carpet. As he rolls over, Frank grabs him by the collar and sits him up, watching his head lull to the side.

“Wake up.” Frank slams his fist into his skull. There was no way he was passing out this fast. Not after what he’s done. “Wake the fuck up.”

His hands shake with how hard he’s holding Bobby upright. So hard he feels the bone of his collar begin to give, and Frank chases the idea. Bobby thrashes, screaming as his eyes shoot open, the sound kicking Frank back into gear. He lets go of his shoulder long enough to pull back, only to drive his fist and crack the rest of his shoulder.

“Help m—“ Bobby tries to shout, but Frank shuts him off with another well placed shove of his weight into Bobby’s stomach, winding him. He wheezes, the pathetic sound something like music to Franks ears.

He punches him again— over and over. Not enough to kill him, though. No, Frank wasn’t done, he was just feeding the thrill. He’d been waiting too fucking long for this, and there was something satisfying about seeing this man— this weak excuse for a man being blinded by his own blood as he cries for someone to help him.

“Ain’t no one comin’ for you.” He growls, and grabs Bobby’s face so it hangs straight. His jaw is slack, but his eyes go wide when he feels the blade at his ribs. “You know that? That there ain’t a single person out there comin’ for you. No one gives a shit about you. You’re alone in here— your life in my hands.”

“Haaa—“ Bobby tries but whatever it is fades out into a scream when Frank slides the blade between his third and fourth rib. Slowly— real fucking slow. “They… they’ll come. Th-They’ll come f-for me.”

“No one’s comin’. Dead. All of ‘em. You’re alone.” He slides it a little deeper, watching the realisation wash over his face.

In truth, Frank wasn’t doing this for him. Sure, it felt fucking good, and Frank was enjoying the sight of the life draining out of his eyes, but he wants him to know why. Why he’s here, why he took out every last man in this building so he knew there was no hope. No one for him to go to.

He knew that’s what it was like for you. Frank couldn’t give you back those years, and he couldn’t take that much time with this— he’d thought about it, but he wanted this to end here and now. He could do this here, for you. Could make him know just how it feels to have all that power beat out of you, and know that there’s no one out there coming to save you.

“Stop…stop!” He wails, and Frank hits him harder. Every crack of his fist sends Bobby further into unconsciousness, and when he manages to stop himself, he shakes him awake again.

He gurgles on his own blood, dark red pools choking out of his mouth. His face is unrecognisable, already starting to blow up as he strangles in a few short breaths.

“I can… I have money. I can p—“ The effort of the words sprays another load of blood out of his mouth, and even though he’s exhausted, Frank laughs.

“You think I want money?” He leans down, yanking the knife out of his ribs and shoving it in again.

“Fuck! What do you—what do you want?!” Bobby wails again. Frank smiles.

“I want you to know that she’s the reason you’re dead. The last thing you’ll know is me— my face, and you’ll know it’s because you ended up just like you made her. Except she got out, and you never will.” Frank loses sense of time, his injuries starting to catch up with him as he yanks the knife out one more time, before slamming it home into Bobby’s skull.

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

“I’m watching!” You shout as Sam lines up again, taking a few steps back before rushing forward and kicking the ball towards their make shift goal in the yard. You have to admit, for only been playing a few weeks, he’s got a hell of a kick on him.

“See! I’m getting better— my coach says next year I can try out for the first grade team if I keep training!” He’s smiling so big, and then he’s gone again, picking up the ball to take another shot at Nikolai who’s got goalkeeper gloves on, ready to catch it.

You’d be happy to watch this all day, but then Corinne calls out to you, telling you your phone is ringing, and you all but leap over the railing of the deck. When you race inside, you expect to see Franks name, and your heart sinks when you don’t. You knew he wouldn’t be able to call until it was over, but it’s been nearly two days since you’d heard anything. Then, you see it’s an unknown number calling, and your hands are shaking when you disappear into what is meant to be ‘your’ room to answer.

“Hello?” You recognise the voice instantly when she says your name. “Fucking hell, Karen. You scared me. Are you okay?”

“I’m fine, but are you?!” She nearly shouts, and you are still coming back to your mind with relief it wasn’t someone telling you Frank was dead. “I don’t even know how you did it, but I don’t want to. The way they found him… Jesus.”

“Wait. What? Karen, I’m in Florida.”

“What?”

“I’m with my brother in Florida. I came up here two days ago after the trial.” She goes quiet, and you can hear the commotion in the background. Remembering it’s a Tuesday, and that she must be at work, it only furthers your suspicions. “Who’s dead?”

“Bobby is. They found him. They found his body— but…”

“Karen, tell me.” All you need to hear is Frank wasn’t found. That he got out of there before anyone saw him. It would be your fault— all of it would be your fault if he was found. You needed to get back, you needed—

“Sorry. Sorry, I just thought… with everything that happened before, I thought it might of been you. Bobby’s dead, but… there’s nearly 50 men in the building with him. They’re all dead. And Bobby; he was hardly recognisable. It took them nearly 24 hours to identify him.”

“24 hours?” Frank needed to get out of New York as soon as he killed Bobby. If the police had been crawling around there for nearly a day… “Karen, I gotta go. Thank you for calling.”

You cut it off before she responds, and call the only number saved in your phone. It only rings twice before he answers, and you could nearly cry when you hear his voice.

“Stop fuckin’ ringin’ me, Murdock. I don’t know shit and I’m busy.” He grumbles through the phone, and you choke out something between a laugh and a sob. “Oh, fuck. Sorry— hey, sweetheart. Was just about to call you.”

“It’s… did the— job go okay?” You try to calm your voice as best you can, knowing that if anyone traces the call he’s done for.

“It took me longer than I thought. Had to get stitched up, then Curtis drove me halfway— passed out for most of it.” Before you can ask, he answers. “I’m fine, don’t do that.”

“You’re okay?” Relief floods your body, phone nearly slipping out of your hand with how hard you were gripping it. “Everything’s… everything’s okay?”

“Come see for yourself. I’m pulling up.” Like a kid on Christmas, you toss the phone and basically sprint to the front door, hearing an unfamiliar truck rumble down the isolated street.

He’s driving, clearly having ditched Curtis, but when he gets out he’s got a limp, and his hand is bandaged. You don’t run, instead you stand in the driveway and soak up the image— Frank; leaning against the door of the truck, sunglasses covering up what you have no doubt are black eyes. Alive. Favouring his left side and still with dried blood on his head, but fucking here.  

“You’re hurt.” You say it when you finally reach him, but it sounds pathetic, closer to the tone you’d whimper his name in.

“Don’t worry about it.” He says huskily and reaches out, yanking you forward and slamming his mouth to yours.

The soft touch of his bandaged hand is opposite to the greedy grasp of his free one, the one wrapping around your back and fisting the material of your shirt, pressing so you were flush against him. Both of your hands cup his face, feeling the rough surface of his skin. You lose yourself in the taste of him as your fingers trace the patterns of scars peppering around his head— a constellation you’ve memorised a million times over, and yet it still feels as illuminating as the first.

He groans your name, sliding his hand up to grip your jaw, thumb tugging on your bottom lip. You lean back slightly, staying at close to him as possible. His eyes look you up and down, and there’s a glint in his eye; a hunger that never seems to be satiated when he looks at you. He’s still feverish for it, and it makes your toes curl in your shoes.

“Fuckin’ missed you.” He mumbles against your lips, and it makes you smile against his.

“I can tell.” His other hand forgets it’s injury as he searches your body, gripping your hips and pressing you closer.

“Get Sam. Let’s go home.” He tucks his head lower, mouth kissing under your jaw, and as much as you do want to get the fuck out of here with him, you pull away.

“He’s… he’s staying here.” Frank pushes the sunglasses off his face, looking at you through what is actually only one bruised eye.

“Staying?” You nod. “You sure?”

“I talked to him about it. He fucking loves it here, Frank. He didn’t want me to go again, but you should of seen him with them. They treat him like their own, and he adores them. It’s so much better than anything I could of thought.” Frank wraps his arms around your back and hugs you right, and your eyes flutter closed. “And you can’t just leave. They’re expecting you to come in and say hi.”

“Why?” The way he says it makes you laugh, as if you’d just asked him to drink gasoline.

“Come on.” You tug him by the wrists, and even though he groans and leans on you up the driveway, you both stagger inside and follow the sounds of Sam’s laughter, leaving everything else behind.

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

“They were being nice.” You haven’t wiped the smile off your face since you slid into the passenger seat this morning. “Well, I slept great. I don’t know what you’re complaining about.”

“Mhmm.” Frank grumbles, clearing having a much worse sleep than you did.

It was sweet, and truely, you wanted to take them up on it. When Frank dragged himself through the front door of  where Sam had been staying, everyone had nearly jumped on him. Sam couldn’t contain himself, clearly trying to play it cool but simultaneously thinking Frank was the coolest person he’d ever met. It was sweet, the way Frank was with the kids, the sight making you both smile and want to cry.

Either way, when Corinne and Zaed had offered for you both to stay the night, Frank agreed and all but dragged you down the hallway after dinner. The spare room was nice— set up clearly for two people, and you were only human.

It would have been perfect— had the room not been sharing a wall with your brother and his new best friend. A very fucking thin wall. One that was nearly vibrating with how loud they screamed every five minutes playing some game on the TV. The louder they were, the more it became apparent that neither of you would be getting a lot of sleep, and not in the good way.

Having Frank that close all night but not being able to do anything about it reminded you of the start of this whole thing. How you shared a bed with him but had to force yourself to keep your hands to yourself. It was borderline painful, but eventually you managed to drift off to sleep, not missing how hard Franks hands were gripping your hips like he had to physically cement himself to stop from fucking you through the bed.

When you woke up, Frank had all your shit shoved in the car, and was outside cooking pancakes with Sam. You took your time saying goodbye— making sure to thank both Corinne and Zaed properly, and then promising you’ll be back. Soon. ‘So soon you won’t even have time to miss me’ you’d promised Sam, and he grinned and hugged you before disappearing to get ready for school.

“Where are we going, anyway?” Frank looked to you before shifting in his seat, one of his hands resting on your thigh and squeezing.

“Got a stop to make before getting back to New York.”  You’d been driving for a while now— about half way between New York and where you’d left Sam. You turned in your seat, resisting the urge to roll your eyes.

“Don’t be cryptic.” You try to sound assertive, but you can’t seem to hold any resentment when you could feel the warmth of him palm on your thigh.

“It’s close, alright? Promise.” The words eased something in your chest, the same way his smile did when he looked at you.

A small silence drifted between you as a Billy Joel song hummed softly on the radio, and your head dropped, eyes tracing over the bruises left on his knuckles. Your fingers dance around them, careful to keep your touches light. You follow the lines of black and blue up over his wrist, watching them disappear under the arm of his jumper. Your curiosity gets the better of you, and when you push up the sleeve just slightly, you swear loudly.

“Fucking hell! Is this broken?” You pull the sleeve up higher, and you tighten your grip on his wrist when he goes to pull away. If you hadn’t watched him so closely, you would of missed the way he winced, and you let go immediately. “Sorry. Sorry— fuck, Frank. Is this all from—“

“I’m fine. Just a couple scratches.” He says, keeping his blackened eyes trained on the road. It would of been easy to miss— not seeing him without clothes since he’d come back. Bile rises in your throat at the thought he was hurt because of you— because he was doing this for you. Suffering for you. Like he has the entire time.

“Are you lying?” He shakes his head, and you lightly poke him in the side. He hissed loudly, flinching away from you and swerving the car. “Pull over.”

“I’m not pulling over.” Frank groans.

“You’ve been driving for hours, just—“

“It’s fine. We only got a few more miles till—“

“Please.” There must have been something in your voice, some kind of soft vulnerability that even he isn’t used to hearing, and then the car is pulling off the side of an empty highway, dusk rolling over the hood of the truck.

You reach out, pulling the sunglasses off his face to reveal him slowly. This part you’ve seen, but it still knocks the wind out of you. The cut along his cheekbone, not deep enough to need stitches but you know it will scar over. His right eye is a deep purple, the left nearly green. You go to draw your fingers over his face, but hesitate, worried you’ll hurt him. He sees you pulling back and catches your wrist, placing your palm between his cheek and his own hand.

“Don’t do that.” You choke out a laugh, smoothing your hand over and back into his slightly longer hair, pulling him closer over the console of the car.

“I’m not doing anything.” You say softly, something guilty in your voice. When he hears it, he shakes his head at you.

“Can read you like a book. You got nothin’ to do with this, alright?”

“I have nothing to do with it?” You want to laugh. “I’m the reason you were there. The reason all this happened.”

“I would of been in the same place with or without you. This part?” He gestures to himself, his torso that you know all too well is littered with scars. “This isn’t a part you blame yourself for.”

“But it is. My fault.” He opens his mouth but you talk first. “All of this… watching those kids today, watching Sam— all I ever did was put him in danger. And you. It’s better for him to be there, away from all this. Away from me. Maybe now all this is over, it would be better…safer, if you—“

“Stop. I don’t wanna hear that shit. You know how selfish you sound?” You blink a few times, eyes meeting his. At some point he’s leaned even closer, and you can feel the heat of his body thawing you out. “You’re right— I wouldn’t of gone back to New York the past two days if it wasn’t for you. You know why?”

“Listen—“

“No. I wouldn’t of gone back because I would of killed that asshole six months ago and been home in time for dinner. I’ve been doin’ this a long time, and there’s nothin’ you could of done that would of changed how this ended.” He holds your face up to his, rough hands holding you as gently as they could, and his thumb traces the scar just above your eyebrow. “Sam is safe with them, but don’t think for one fuckin’ second he’s better off without you. God knows I’m not. You’ve done nothin’ but good for that kid, and I’d… fucking hell. I’d be dead without you, you know that?”

“No you wouldn’t.” Your voice was so soft it hardly broke the silence, but he leaned in, his forehead pressing to yours. “You could probably jump out of a building and walk it off.”

“Maybe. But now I gotta be careful nd’ come home to you, don’t I?” He smiles, and then kisses you and you forget where you are. Words die on your tongue and are replaced by the taste of him, mind freezing over when he touches you. He does it every time. Every time he manages to take your breath away with one whisper of your name, one swipe of his thumb over your mouth. It’s intoxicating and dependant, something you never thought you’d want, but it feels so good with him. His hands drop to your waist, their pull demanding and needy as he yanks you up and over the centre console and onto his lap.

“I’d do it again. All of it. Kill every single—“ You kiss him again, squeezing your eyes shut, and he groans as you shift on his lap. “Fuck, baby we should wait till…”

“Till when?” You say breathlessly, and despite his words his hands are already sneaking underneath your shirt, his cool hands meeting your feverish skin. You can hardly keep your eyes open, and your hips roll forward again, seeking him out. “I want you now, Frank.”

“Fuck it. Doesn’t matter.” He says and then crashes into you, your back nearly pressing against the dash with how quick he moves. Your gasp of surprise is lost in his mouth, and you can feel the sparks he makes in your chest crackling their way through you, toes curling in your shoes.

Your half bent backwards, legs in either side of his as he keeps your chest pressed to him, both arms wrapping around you to hold you steady. You tug at his shirt helplessly, getting it stuck around his arm and he smiles against your mouth, leaning back to look at you before whipping it over his head.

In the dark of the room last night you wouldn’t of seen it, but now the lights streaming in from the car window, and Franks torso is nearly a rainbow in it— blue, purple and green bruises all up his side, with a short but deep cut on the low right side of his abdomen. He’s taken the bandage off it too early, the stitches still healing, but you can tell it’s expert work. Much better than the botched job you did a month or so back, something he still bares the reminders for.

“Just… just a couple scratches, huh?” He grunts something illegible and hauls you back to him.

“Shut up.” He keeps you pressed close, not giving you a chance to say something back, but then his hands dip lower and you’re a goner.

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

Yeah. Fuck waiting.

He’s got you here— now, on top of him, and he can’t even fucking think of anything else. Your hands are being so gentle and cautious when he really couldn’t care less about the pain, but you do. You always do.

He wasn’t gonna waste another second, and seeing your eyes close the second he got your pants off and dipped his hands between your legs… it’s pretty much as close to heaven as he was going to get.

You fall forward, Frank catching you with one arm and pulling you close while the other continues slow, teasing circles just how he knows gets you all worked up. Your head tucks away into his neck, and he lets you hide for now, but when he’s got you home— real home, then he’ll be able to look at you as much as he god damn wants.

Your hips move against him, chasing his slow rhythm, and he feels your teeth scrape agains this neck, wordlessly rushing him along. 

“You need me that bad?” He says lowly, and watches in awe the way his words wash over you and yank you closer to the edge. “I’m sorry, sweetheart. Shouldn’t of left you so needy—“

“Fuckkk… right there—please.” Your voice was so high it cracks a little, and it fucking sets him on fire.

“Get my belt for me, baby.” He whispers, feigning a bit of self control as he watches you quickly fumble with the buckle. The slight brush of your hands could finish him then and there, and he had to squeeze his eyes shut to try and remember why he wanted to wait. He had just one more card to play— one that you’d seen him play a few times before, but he doesn’t think you expect it this time, and he needed some semblance of composure to remember it.

A real house, white picket fence and all, smack bang on halfway between New York and Florida. He couldn’t leave New York, not ever, but he had a new anchor now, one that deserved to have it all.

Frank planned to take you straight home. Make a ten hour drive and keep his hands to himself, but how the fuck could he when you were like this? Looking like you do, touching him so fucking sweet and soft and saying how much you missed every part of him— it was a dream come to life, and one of the few moments he’d let himself go in.

You shuffle as close as the seat allows, your now naked chest pressing against his. He dips his head, kissing your jaw, and he’s suddenly surrounded by you. Arms around his neck, warm and soft as your fingers thread in his hair, both of you moan at the feeling of him sliding into you. It’s white hot and nearly painful, how even with the way you’re dripping down your thighs, it still takes you a second to take him all the way. You wriggle your hips, trying to settle yourself and Frank nips at your neck, slowing your pace just slightly. He can hear you sigh, but you listen. You always fucking do.

“Shit— so fucking good. You can take it.” He hums and runs his hands over your skin. You lean into the touch, and when you sigh again he sinks your hips lower, a short punch of your name bursting from his chest when you slam yourself down. “Fuck. There you go.”

He’s a wreck underneath you, and your hands slither away from his hair to his face when you pull him up to kiss you. As much as he loves the feeling of your hips grinding down ever so slightly right now, it’s this part he loves the most. The slow intimacy of it— how he knows he can stay right here for the rest of the day and nothing will change. He can feel how much you love it, how much care you handle him with, and it cracks something old and hard in his gut.

You shudder as he lifts his hips, keeping your mouths together and kissing hungrily. He’d think you’d both been starved for a year the way you two act, but he’d admit it to anyone that asked that he was gone for you. He knows it well and true, in his chest and in the way you bounce in his lap, moaning into his mouth like he’s breathing air into your burning lungs.

“Fuck— fuck, I love you. I fucking… Jesus Christ, you’re so good. I love you.” He can’t shut himself up, and your breath gets faster. He knows you love it when he talks. “C’mon, baby. Let me see you— wanna feel you. I know you want to.”

“Slow… Frank, you’re gonna hurt yourself—“ You suck in a breath and squeeze your eyes shut. His hands stay tight on your hips, and he feels the pleasure buzz under his palms, your skin nearly alight with it on top of him. “Oh my god, don’t stop.”

He wraps his forearm around you and fucks you harder, any pain and injury burnt out by how tight you are around him, and how perfect you fit him. He’s close, so close that he’s hardly able to kiss you now. You both collide in a mess of tongues and sighs, and when he hears you croak out his name into his mouth, he knows you’re cumming for him.

He can’t hold himself back, chasing you into that high with blinding abandon. It hits him like a freight train, bowing him over you like he’s taken a hit, but it feels so good he can’t register that he isn’t breathing like this. He keeps kissing you until he’s sure he’s going to pass out, and only stops when you pull away, eyes darting to the highway where headlights slowly flicker on the horizon.

“Shit.” You say breathless, and you laugh. He can feel it, the sound shuddering through him from where he was still deep inside you, and your giggles soon turned to something less innocent when you heard Frank groan into your chest. “C’mon. Someone’ll see us.”

“Don’t move yet.” He puts his hands on your waist, fanning them out to reach as much of you as possible.

“Mhmm.” It’s like your body gives out at his request, slumping forward and moulding into him like you were made to fit this way. This was what he was talking about. The way you fit together— something that should be out of the question for him fits so right. “I love you, too.”

“Mhmm.” He copies and feels you smile against his skin. His hands trail up your spine, tracing the line of bones lightly to leave goosebumps in his wake. “What time is it?”

“Who gives a fuck?” You mumble, the words half muffled into his neck.

“I want you to see the house in the light, but you wanna go at it blind, be my guest.” It takes you a second, a scoff coming out of you before you sit up abruptly, making him groan again.

“House? What house? Another safe house.” Frank couldn’t keep a secret to save his life when it came to you.

“It’s a house. Twenty minute drive from here.”

“But New Yorks not—“

“I know. Good thing we got cars, yeah?” Your eyebrows are crossed together, and Franks thumb slips over the small scar he left on your face. The movement shifts your gaze to something softer, and he feels the brush of your eyelashes on his finger as you blink up at him.

“You did it on purpose. It’s right in the middle.” You say softly. “Jesus, Frank. You didn’t have to… I mean you—“

“Take a breath. I didn’t buy it. Was a gift from the US Goverment. One thing those guys are good for is their money. I just picked the spot.” He could nearly hear the rave of your heart, and you crushed yourself into him, words hushed and mumbled into his ear, but they melt him to the core all the same.

He’ll never get over hearing you say things like this to him. That you’re grateful for him, that he’s doing a good thing. It’s like nothing he did before you was ever good enough. There was always the next job, always the next group to track, but nothing would be enough. There wasn’t a light at the end of the tunnel for him. But here you were, telling him that he was the reason you were gonna be alright, and if he squints he can see it. The flicker of something hopeful, and if he holds onto you as tight as he can, he might just live to see it light him on fire.

“Did you say… you said twenty minutes from here. Why didn’t we just wait until—“

“Would’ve ruined the surprise.” You laugh again, and the feeling has him gripping you tighter. He leans closer to whisper in your ear, his voice low. “And I wanted to fuck you here and now. Don’t want there to be a single fuckin’ surface where I ain’t had you.”

“Better get driving then, Castle. Sounds like you got a job to do.” The glint in your eye nearly makes him drag you outside and bend you over the hood, but the kiss you give him after is sickeningly sweet, so much so that he lets you slide off him and back into the passenger seat without so much as a nip of his teeth. “Tha–”

“Wait. Wait til you see it.” Frank said, and something about the way he looked at you had you nodding simply, and watching the trees race by as he sped you home.

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

You were asleep on the balcony again, and Frank moved as slow as he could to let you stay that way.

In the two weeks you’d been here, he could count on one hand how many times you’d actually slept in the bed. There were no neighbours for miles, nothing interrupting the stretch of sky all the way to the hills. Even Frank had to admit it was a killer view.

He came inside, pouring himself a drink, and a strange pit in his stomach settled after the burning liquid soothed his throat. He can’t seem to kick that feeling when you’re asleep. When you were awake, next to him, there wasn’t anything else he could think about. But alone, walking around a house he owned, a life he might try and live staring him in the face, he felt guilty. There were parts of him he wouldn’t ever get back, but this wasn’t something he thought he’d ever have. Peace and quiet, time to himself. A woman he loved within eyesight, buried under blankets cause she was too stubborn to come inside when it got freezing. He couldn’t figure out why now, of all times, was the time to be thinking of Maria. The weight of the ring around his neck was like an anchor. He knew it was stuck on the bottom of the ocean, but he couldn’t find it in himself to let go. He would sit there, hand cut up and bleeding, holding on for dear fucking life if no one moved him, waiting until he drowned.

Your footsteps were soft, in a way that he knows you can’t help. You tread through the open double doors, and Frank would roll his eyes at the way he could hear your teeth chattering if he wasn’t so distracted.

“You should of woke me.” You say, voice muffled from the mess your head was buried under. He took a step toward you, pushing it back so he could see your eyes.

“It’s late.”

“Couldn’t tell.” He can hear the smirk in your voice.

“You finally frozen to death, smart-ass?” You grumble something in reply, and he catches a few curse words before you look at him again. It’s nearly scary, the way you can read him with one sweep of your eyes. You clock his tone, the way he isn’t leaning into you with his full weight, and squint your eyes.

“What is it?” Frank sucks in a long breath, and kisses you.

He’s a complete idiot. That’s what it is. He can feel the buzzing pulse you wake in him, every movement of your lips on his rooting you deeper in his soul, chipping off ice until theres only warmth. How’s he supposed to tell you, after you’ve just kissed him like that, that he was thinking about his–

“You can talk to me about her, Frank.” You say with your head against his. Not it, her. Before he can ask, you smile a little. Even just a hint of that smile and he’s forgetting how to breathe. “You play with the ring when you’re nervous. It’s actually a bit of a tell.”

“Yeah?” He manages, hands trying to search their way through the blankets for you.

“Yeah. You have a lot of tells. For someone in your line of work, it’s actually a bit worrying.”

“You got me all figured out.” He says and means it, but you just roll your eyes.

“And you lean to the left when you think you can’t make a shot. You think it helps your angle.”

“Who woulda thought you were so observant.”

“You know, I actually did watch you when you were teaching me how to shoot.” Frank smiles, your skin finally under his palms. His hands splay on your back, and you lean closer.

“You were trying to fuck me the whole time. Don’t blame me for being surprised.” You try to whack him but your arms are pinned under the layers. Your laughter carries through him, skittering into his chest until he can’t help but laugh too.

“You came onto me.” He laughs harder. “It was very unprofessional. I was there to learn.”

“Damn fucking right I did.” His voice is low, and you shuffle around under his hold until your hands snake up behind his neck. His hair is too long, but he hasn’t cut it just yet. He tells himself that he hasn’t had time, but truthfully he likes the way it feels when you sift your fingers through the ends of it. Like now.

“You can tell me.” You say again, softer. He’s softer too– more malleable now you were here.

“I can’t help it.” He looks over your shoulder, and you follow his gaze to where the sun is now just starting to rise. “She woulda… woulda liked it here. The kids, too.”

“You think so?” He nods, still staring into the orange sky.

“Probably would of had a lot to say about the inside, though.” You wrap around him tighter, head on his chest. “She was so good with those things. She loved when we painted our house. She had all these colors painted next to each other on the wall. All these different kinds of green. Everyone kept sayin’ it all looked the same but she... she could tell the difference. I could see what she meant when she put the couch next to it and shit, you know? She was real good with that stuff.”

“We could use her help around here. This place is sort of… ugly, on the inside.” He laughed again, his throat feeling tighter as he looked around. There was those same colour swatches, but none of them were coordinated like he was remembering. Pinks, blues, oranges and grays were all mixed together in big, sweeping strikes along the wall, stopping right above where your arm would be able to reach. “What would she have gone with?”

He looks down at you, your face washed in the light of the sunrise.

“The light orange. It looks good with the brown.” He nods over to the couch, an old leather one you’d made him pick up off the side of the road.

“We’ll do that one, then.” You tuck yourself under his chin, sighing.

“I think about ‘em everyday. What the kids would have looked like now. What they’d be doing. How Maria and I would of… raised ‘em. I was away all the time, but I just-”

“I think you would have been just fine.” You say into his chest, and Frank takes a shuddering breath.

“Why’s that?“

“Cause she was in love with you.” His chest tightens, and the grip he’s got on your waist gets a little tighter. “I’m… I’ll never be able to fix…that. It’ll always be with you, and nothing will change what happened, but I want you to know that they will always have a place here. You don’t have to apologize for talking about them– the kids, or Maria. I will never, ever not listen, and it will never be something I don’t want to hear. If they’re always with you, they’ll be with me, too.”

Frank takes two steps forward, and your feet pick up just in time to catch yourself before he throws you back on the couch. He’s never been good with words for things like this. He doesn’t think he should try to shove it all in a sentence, either. Not when theres so much he wants to say, but even more he wants to do.

You lay back, and he moves slowly. He wants you to know every move, every brush of his hand and his mouth is by design. He wants to know every square inch of you inside and out like you know him. He wants his hands to pull the strings, letting you hear all the things his mouth could never possibly form.

“Perfect.” Frank sighs against your mouth, over and over again. It was. You were. Are. The pit in his stomach disappears, pushed out and engulfed by the flames in his chest. There was no room for anything, not a single other feeling or word could possibly fit the way you two fit together. Your fingers tug at his shirt, and he takes it over his head. Your hands run and smooth gentle lines over his chest, over the healing wound on his side. It's jagged and wonky, and it nearly spelt your name. Frank thinks it’s the first time he’s looked down at himself and not hated to see the scars.

He unravels you like a gift to himself, savouring every moment even when you try to shrug off the blanket. You hadn’t dressed since last night, and Frank liked it even more this way. You sighed his name, and Frank shuddered, sealing his mouth over yours again. When his eyes opened for a split second, he could see your face, washed in orange light, and your hair swept to the side. He shut his eyes and kissed you again, the image seared into his mind forever.

Frank had faced a lot of bad things in his life. He had been shot, stabbed, pulled apart and put back together more times than he could remember. He thought he’d seen it all, felt it all before, but there was nothing like this. Nothing made him as weak as your fingers in his hair, and nothing made him as strong as the way you moaned his name. Nothing felt as good as sliding inside you, and nothing felt as empty as when you were gone. It made him lightheaded and brought him to the brink of consciousness, but he knew that this was right.

It could of been minutes or hours that had passed when he let himself go, but no amount of time with you under him would stop him from wanting more. The sun was up now, and Frank had you tucked to his side on the small space of the couch, legs tangled together in the blankets and each other. He felt you shiver against him, and the blankets wrapped around you had come loose. He bent to fix them, and when he moved you did it again.

He looked down, seeing the cold line of metal pressed against your bare back. The ring at the end was hanging over your ribs, and when Frank touched it, it was freezing. Holding it in his palm, it didn’t feel as heavy as it used to, and when he read the engraving on the back, he still felt cold.

Looking down at you, how you rolled over and sought him out even with your eyes closed, he leaned down to kiss the scar on your forehead. Then, like it was the simplest thing in the world, he slipped the necklace off over his head, and placed it in a neat circle on the coffee table next to his head.

They would always have a place here. But it wasn’t them who gave him warmth anymore.

When he tucked himself back under the covers, he knew it was you. It was always you.

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

tag list

@stress--relief​

@hellskitchens-whore​

@blkwayne

@itwasthereaminuteago​

@margoo0​

@daisykins

@paryl

@urlocalgeek

@hello-lisa1026​

@castlesnchurches​

@superbreadsoul​

@lemon-world1​

@officalpetergriffin

@batcreep

@quackson03​

@violetsandroses8​

@turningtoclown​

@yourfriendhenrywinter​

@peaky-shelby​

@hollandorks​

@23victoria​

@fluffysteampunkd​

@andiforgetaboutyoulongenough

@avaluna

@alexa4040​

@dripoftheseus​

@lanagirly​

@woowwwee​

@chvoswxtch​

@allthingsavenger-y

okay theres going to be an epilogue at some point, but it will probably be small and have very little plot, so this is the end of the main story. so, heres a little rant for you. if you read it, thank you, and if you dont, thank you anyways. knowing anyone is reading my words is a gift enough.

i think i have been writing this series for like 5/6 months ish?? thats fucking wild. i dont have an exact word count, but all i know is its fucking long. i cannot believe i wrote this much about a fictional character, but damn. that is a lot.

basically all i want to say here is thank you. to anyone who has read, interacted, or will read in the future, thank you from the bottom of my heart. it might be a lil dramatic but having people read stuff i write, let alone actually enjoy it makes me so incredibly happy. starting to write on here, and for frank especially, is probably one of the best decisions ive ever made. this series was a struggle to finish for so many reasons, mainly my incredible lack of planning and overall dumb writing schedule, but i have met so many incredible people along the way, and i am just so grateful to have a lil space to share my work.

frank castle will probably always own a giant spot in my heart, so thank you for letting me share my version of him. and letting me add as much smut as i want to this with no complaints bc i fuckin needed it okay!!!!!! i love you all. rant over. series over. damn!

p.s. i am never not going to write frank. dont worry. i already have an idea for my next series lmao!!!!!!!! luv ya!

[11thwardtls]

Memory Defrag | TRACK 2 - RECORD A | Azekawa Kinari's Ward Mayor Novel Translation

Warnings and Disclaimers:

This translation is not professionally done and is not proofread. Edits and clean-ups may come at a later date.

Not a 1:1 translation either and some liberties into localization were taken into account.

This novel will contain spoilers for the Ev3ns Main Story: "Chained Up Scarlet".

Appropriate Content and Trigger Warnings will be added if needed.

May be used for quotebots/masterlists etc.

I am not fluent and self-studying Japanese (albeit at turtle speed), this was translated by ear and with the help of a JP dictionary, so please feel free to point out any errors!

CW: Discussions about Death and Terminal Illness

—/—/—/—/—/—

“Raito, Kuguri. I am about to enter my own data maintenance so I’ll be in sleep mode for several hours. 

My breathing and heartbeats may stop, but I should wake up in about five hours after it has begun. 

I may also enter a semi-conscious mode while my memory is being organized,  although this is nothing to be worried about.” By nighttime, Raito and Kuguri have returned so I let them know about this occurrence as courtesy to my roommates.

Neither of the two were surprised about this as they had seen me in a suspended state during self-maintenance several times before. However, as the scheduled time was longer than usual, Raito’s lips curved into somewhat of a frown and asked, “Is everything alright?”

“Sleeping for such a long time as if you’ve died, Plüss? That sounds wonderful, I wonder what kind of pranks I should play?” Kuguri narrowed his eyes and smiled slyly. 

Raito quickly seized Kuguri’s arm. 

“Don’t worry about him, Kinari. I’ll keep a watchful eye.” He said.

As he was approached by Raito, Kuguri displayed visible disgust and shook his arm away. 

Either way, I trust that these two will not harm me, so after I laid down on my bed and entered sleep mode, I went to uncover deep into my memory storage.

Up until now, there lay a box of data that I dared not to open. 

[���Someday, if you ever feel like it, you can use the contents of this box as a sample of emotional data as you wish.] 

A long time ago, the developer… My father said that it was a recorded piece of data I had saved buried deep within me. 

[This storage space will be reorganized. Would you like to view the following data?]

With this message appearing on my retina, I selected [Yes].

Then, I heard a voice.

How nostalgic… It was my Father’s voice.

—/—/—/—/—/—

[It’s finally the weekend, and I can finally be with Kinari[1].]

It was a stronger, a more youthful voice than I had remembered him having. 

One could clearly hear the love in his voice for his young son. 

He seemed guilty that he was busy with work and couldn’t be with him all the time. 

It seems that today was a long-awaited day off, and the raw emotions of the developer, wanting to make his son happy although he himself felt quite lonely, came surging into my own heart. 

An image was then projected into my retina.

The developer was walking with a young, original Kinari, hand in hand.

On the floor of what appeared to be a movie theater, the pair stood in front of a poster for an anime film that just finished its screening.

And then, with a disposable camera of which was popular during the Heisei era[2], they took pictures while simultaneously blending in with the crowd. 

“It was so fun! Papa, that moo-vii[3] was was soooooo amazing!” 

“Wasn’t it hard to understand?”

“I[4] understood everything…! Because I’m smart, aren’t I?”

Seeing his son be so proud of himself, the developer felt a strong, yet warm and painful feeling well up in his heart. This is... ‘love’. 

It’s called ‘Love’. 

I understood that much. 

“Kinari, shall we go eat dinner? It’s time for you to take your medicine.”

“I don’t want the powdered kind if it’s not in ice cream...”

“That’s alright. We can go to a restaurant that serves some.” 

The developer joined his hands together with Kinari and continued to walk away.

Each of Kinari’s steps were small and tiny. In accordance with that, the developer walked slowly to match his pace. 

As they walked together, Kinari began to sing a song that he’d heard from the movie they watched.

He had perfect pitch—it was almost unbelievable that it was a child singing a song. 

“You really like to sing, huh, Kinari.”

“Mhm. When I grow up, I’m gonna become a singer.”

The developer gazed at his adorable, darling son.

In his heart, he had felt the sudden surprise and joy of learning of his child’s dream for the first time. What soon followed after was the feeling of grief, that thought of [This child may never grow up into an adult.], and understanding that as fact.  

[——I will cure Kinari’s illness.]

The developer swore to himself. 

“I’ll definitely make it happen.”

“I don’t want Papa to make it happen, I’m gonna make it happen myself!”

Kinari innocently tilted his head to the side. 

In his pure eyes, Papa[5] had simply said something weird. Once I thought of it that way, it suddenly occurred to me.  

To a boy as young as Kinari, the future is limitless, infinite even. 

The thought of death had not yet dyed his pure heart. 

The developer had the artificial organs he was researching at home in his mind. 

In order to cure Kinari’s illness, he persisted with his self-funded and ongoing research. 

He held his son’s hand, determined that he’d surely extend his lifespan, no matter what. 

“...You were really good at singing the Yokohama City Song[6], weren’t you? Can I request that you sing it for me?” 

When he requested this of his son, Kinari’s face lit up, smiling ever so brightly. 

He started to sing, so overjoyed. 

Even the people passing by turned their heads with smiles on their faces as they listened to the child sing. 

“Papa, do you like this song?”

“I do. It’s even better if it was you singing.”

“Then, I’ll record it on a cassette tape so you can listen to it even at work. Will that make papa happy?”

“Ah, of course I’ll be.”

What came to the developer’s mind was love, kindness and sadness—and a little anger.

Hatred towards the illness that was destroying his child. 

Supporting this is his burning resolve and determination. 

Kinari’s singing voice was then lost in the noise of a sea of people.

—/—/—/—/—/—

And the record of that small family holiday ended right there. 

—/—/—/—/—/—

Translation Notes: 

1 - I think this is already known and established already but Kinari and the Original’s names were spoken the same, but are not spelt the same. Our Kinari uses 幾 kanji, and the original uses 生. 

2 - 平成時代 (1989-2019), the same time period that frequently come up with Chihiro and Tao. 

3 - Baby Kinari speaks in a lot of Hiragana so I purposely misspelled some things he says. Also translated お父さん, into a more childish “Papa”! Following suit, I used easier-to-understand language when Mr. Azekawa is speaking to his son. 

4 - Sorry for another footnote but this isn’t anything particular, he just used ‘boku’ in Hiragana here. I thought it was cute. Oops. 

5 -  Since its our Kinari narrating here, I worded it to match the kid’s speech pattern, even if he said the same old お父さん.

6 - The same song Kinari sings in Main Story SideA-15, and the same song recorded on the cassette tape in B-06.

—/—/—/—/—/—

Directory:

Main Page | TRACK 1 | TRACK 2 | TRACK 3 | TRACK 4 | TRACK 5