#i know i already giffed this scene but i think about it once a day like i'm rotating it in my mind like a rotisserie chicken

[anders-hawke]

i am going to be so much more annoying once season three drops i will literally yap about every single screenwriting decision i fall in love with. every structural marvel, every episode of perfect pacing, every piece of dialogue that will live in my mind forever. plus all the usual hyperfixation things.

[mvltisstuff]

hi hi

idk if you’re accepting requests but if you are pls could i request an evan buckley where he has a gf/wife and a baby but the 118 doesn’t know, and maybe one day reader/kid is injured and they either turn up at the fire house or the 118 is called to the scene and buck has to come clean about his secret wife/gf and kid?

thank you bestie, i love your writing <3

lover - e.b

summary: request

evan buckley x reader

gif from @eddiemunsens

a/n: what tswift album do u guys think the 118 are 🤭 also what happens to yn is inspired by an episode of s19 that i love sm it’s so funny :))

buck knew the second y/n got pregnant that he wasn’t leaving. two years of dating is a short time to have a child, but they loved each other more than anyone. they knew they could give a child a good life, so they went with it.

all three of them moved to la, so buck could work with the LAFD and y/n could get to a higher position at work. their life there was immaculate. their little family was thriving, so buck put a ring on her finger. he didn’t even hesitate to buy the biggest one he saw, because he loved y/n the second he met her, and he emotionally couldn’t wait anymore. the words husband and wife rang in his ears, making him drop a dumbfounded grin.

no one at work knew, he didn’t really know what they thought of him. his team knew he was too fine to not have anyone, so they figured he was just with some girls here and there. the last thing they expected was a child and a fiancé along with it. it never came up in conversation, but buck still didn’t bother. he didn’t want to face any judgement from people that he didn’t already get from his family. the constant scrutiny about his age and his girl was exhausting.

now, neither of them would’ve changed it for the world. buck can’t imagine himself happier or in a life without them. it hurts him to even consider what would happen if y/n and his little boy weren’t there. he always gazed at them playing, sometimes just wanting to observe their brilliance.

buck knew he would have to explain to his team that he’s married, and that doesn’t mean he’s ashamed. he wants the world to know, but he doesn’t want y/n to be hurt by opinions from other people. he didn’t realize how soon he would have to until the alarm rang and until dispatch came through with the address. it was their house. the house where buck and y/n raised their son and the one where either could be hurt. every single scenario waved over buck, making him panic more by the second.

“you good, kid?” bobby asks, taking note of his bouncing knee.

“uh.. yeah! yeah, i’m fine,” he lies. buck hasn’t been with them for more than a year, so they just pass it along, not knowing any better. buck climbs out of the truck, grabbing a few tools before sprinting toward the house. now, the teams more alarmed. what is it about this house is making him act like a maniac?

“y/n?” buck calls out, running around trying to find her.

“kitchen!” she yells out, sounded distressed which only makes buck move even quicker. when he walks in, he immediately notices her leaning over the sink, her hand in the disposal. bobby and the rest of his crew walk in behind him, the four of them standing in the kitchen staring at her. “well?”

“oh-“ bobby moves, starting to gather some more tools out of his bag.

“what the hell happened?”

“i dropped my ring down, and i was trying to make him lunch,” she nods to the baby, sitting on the floor happily, clearly having no idea what’s happening. “i don’t even know why i tried to grab it, like some idiot!”

“hey,” buck says, walking over to her and placing a hand on her shoulder. “you’ll be fine, y/s/n is fine, yeah?” she looks up at him and nods, brushing her hair with her free hand.

“should we know the kids name too?” chim asks, giving buck a completely bamboozled expression. y/n passes buck the same face as hen walks over to check her hand. buck can’t get around it this time, and he wants them to know for once.

“um, guys,” he starts. “this is my fiancé, y/n and my son.”

“your what?” hen shouts, peeking her head out from behind y/n’s shoulder. she gives hen an awkward smile and buck stands there stiffly, worried about their reaction. everyone looks around at each other in shock that buck has his own family, and they didn’t even know.

“why didn’t you tell us?” bobby wonders.

“because i didn’t know how you’d react! i’ve heard it all from my parents, i didn’t need any more.”

“buck, we would’ve welcomed you no matter what your home life is. we’d love to get to know you and your family despite how it might’ve happened,” hen tells him, kindly. buck is confronted with immediate love, something he’s not to familiar with other than when his shifts end and he’s in y/n’s arms again. he’s surprised to say the least. he expected at lease some judgement, but there was nothing of the sort in the room.

“i’m thrilled you’re all having a nice moment here,” y/n interrupts. “but can we maybe get my hand out of my sink?”

buck and bobby pull the cabinets open and start drilling at the pipes underneath. buck secures the ring in his fingers before beaming up at y/n, showing her that he found it. “i got it!” he replies excitedly. “thank god, i don’t know if i have insurance for this thing. cost me my left leg,” he whispers to bobby. once they fully disconnect the system, hen slowly drags her bloody hand out and wraps it up. she hisses at the contact of the gauze and antiseptics. chimney starts to clean up the rest of the supplies, as hen treats the wound.

“so,” chimney begins. “when’s the wedding?”

“time and place, chim,” hen tells him. “time and place. but, yeah, are we invited?”

“yes,” buck says, obviously. “you’re invited.” he moves over to scoop his baby off the ground, carrying him over to his friends. they all speak to him in their little baby voices, and y/n watches with a shining smile on her face. buck knows he did the right thing, but he wishes he didn’t wait as long. now, he is certain that he has two solid families.

[lenaswritingandstuff]

All I had - Mattheo Riddle x f!reader (Part 2 & END)

Requested: No well I lowkey did

Pairing: Mattheo Riddle x f!reader

Summary: After his girlfriend y/n is killed, Mattheo has to deal not only with pain and sorrow, but also cruel accusations (complete original prompt here), and asks someone for help.

Word count: 4.7K

Warnings: mentions of death, lost and grief; cursing ;

A/N: Thank you guys a lot for the good feedback the first part got! Here Mattheo and Tom are also Bellatrix' sons, and Mattheo is older than Harry by one year (so this takes place during Harry's sixth year) and younger than Tom by one year too. There will be two povs in this part, and I might do a bonus scene if (a lot of) people ask. This is my first time writing for Tom (and Voldemort) so I really hope it's alright. Comments and feedback are always appreciated. Hope you enjoy it!

Tag list: @helendeath @im-jesus

Tag list for this story: @arlxtoa

GIF IS NOT MINE.

PART I

The two Aurors got up and left, and Mattheo blinked. When he opened his eyes again, the  cold metallic table and the chairs disappeared, and he was back into the small room with the bed and the floating candles. Weakly, he laid on the bed and crossed his hands on his stomach. He didn’t know how long he had been here, in this room which was more magical than he thought as the bed, the sink and the table that were here when he arrived disappeared every time the Aurors came in, with a metallic table and three chairs surrounded by simple darkness which disappeared when the two men did. However, it must have been at least two days, spent refusing anything he was proposed to eat or drink - strangely enough, though, he wasn’t feeling hungry or thirsty at all - and refusing to say what those two fuckers demanded. Everytime they came in, Mattheo asked if they contacted Tom so he could come, but they refused to answer, insisting with their dumb questions instead. 

At first, his brother not coming to his aid had gave Mattheo great anxiety, as he saw it as the only way to prove he didn’t do what they accused him of - his mind refused to use the real words - but now, as time passed and without an answer, all anxiety - which was the only thing he was able to feel besides his pain and empty chest - had left him, leaving only resignation. If he was sent to Azkaban, so be it. After all, even if he didn’t do it, didn’t he deserve it for not being able to protect y/n? He was her boyfriend, who vowed while looking into her eyes, her eyes he was crazy about, to always protect her and save her if needed, and he couldn’t fucking do that. And again, even if he didn’t do it, it was his fault she was gone. If he hadn’t gone out for a stupid cigarette with Theo, maybe y/n wouldn’t have left her room and she would still be here, holding his hand and kissing him. Some part of him knew that maybe she left to go help a friend in need - typical y/n - and didn’t actually go out to look after him after he took a while to come back, but the biggest part of him refused to think about that theory, refusing to admit that it wasn’t his fault somehow. 

It had been too good to be true, he thought. He had managed to escape both his parents ever since his father came back and his mother escaped Azkaban, Tom and Dumbledore helping him hide during the summer holidays - y/n had asked him countless time to come to live in her parents’ house, but despite wanting nothing more than to say yes and spend the summer by her side, Mattheo had refused to put her and her family, who had already been kind enough to let someone like him date their daughter, in danger. He had also managed the anxiety and stress his father’s coming back had brought, mostly due to y/n’s love and care, and had even managed to plan on becoming an Auror once he would leave school, which he knew had worried y/n, but now, all the good things he had managed to do and the overall good - or at least; bearable - life he had built around his friends and y/n not only meant nothing, but it had died with her. Because even if I manage to not go to Azkaban, what would I do? I might as well join my father. 

But Mattheo had that thought, y/n’s sad, disappointed face appeared to him, and he hated himself even more. y/n wouldn’t want that, he forced himself to think, slightly shaking his head. y/n would want him to fight, and most importantly, would want him to remain the boy she had loved. His only option, if he managed to not go to prison, would be to hide until his death - which now he didn’t care when it would come. The door suddenly opened, bringing Mattheo out of his thoughts, and had half expected the Aurors to come back and, letting out a long sigh and closing his eyes, he prepared himself to insult them this time, but it wasn’t one of their voices he heard. 

“Brother.”

Fuck. Mattheo’s eyes snapped open, and he jumped on his bed, and at the same time turning his head so quickly he could have hurt himself. Taller and of stronger structure, Tom was standing near the door, his dark curls perfectly styled contrasting with Mattheo’s messy hair, and dressed in an all black suit. 

As if he was waking up from a long, deep sleep, Mattheo’s mind was not perfectly aware, and got used to the idea of Tom actually being here. Looking up at him, Mattheo noticed his elder brother looked paler than usual, and there was something strange about his eyes. 

“They called you,” Mattheo managed to say.

“They did. Their message came late, however, as I was…busy, in the north.” 

In other circumstances, Mattheo might have asked Tom what he meant by that - he never really knew what his brother was up to ever since the latter left Hogwarts last year - but, now, he just slightly nodded in answer. 

“Dumbledore told me,” Tom continued, his tone now sounding more febrile and softer, “that y/n was… dead.”

The last three words hit Mattheo like a thousand knives in the heart, but they also for some reason finished to convince his mind that it really did happen. 

“The two Aurors told me you did it.” 

“I didn’t,” Mattheo answered immediately, the defensive tone and behavior he had been having for the last two days around the Aurors coming back. 

“I know. Though I wish to know what really happened.” 

Sighing and his eyes on the ground, Mattheo explained everything that happened that night, from spending an usual night with y/n in her room - he saw a small grimace on Tom’s face for a small second - to going for a smoke with Theo.

“Then on my way back, I was walking by the courtyard when I saw her…her, I…I saw her body.”

Mattheo then raised his gaze, and saw that Tom’s body and face had stiffen, and one of his fists was now closed. A year ago, this reaction from Tom upon hearing about y/n would have angered Mattheo deeply, but now, he only felt some annoyance which surprisingly disappeared quickly.  

“There was no round around?” Tom asked. “No sign of anybody?” 

Mattheo shook his head negatively. 

“Who do you think might have done it?” Tom questioned in a sharper tone. 

“I don’t know. She only had friends. Teachers liked her. Her family is normal…” 

“Try to think, Mattheo,” Tom cut off coldly, growing impatient, “try to remember a detail, a conversation y/n had with someone…”

“I don’t know!” Mattheo said louder. “I haven’t been able to think ever since I had her corpse in my arms!” 

Tom had a very small sigh. “Then maybe y/n didn’t tell you about it. Do you think her friends might know something?" 

“Her friends never liked me much,” Mattheo had a bitter small laugh. “Well, except for Pansy.” 

“I see. I’ll have to ask them some questions, then.” Tom said. And I could as well have searched her dorm for a clue, but I heard her family already took her belongings and cleared her room,” he added in annoyance.

Mattheo frowned. “Her family? Her family is already here?”

“Yes. It’s been two days, they had to take her body,” Tom answered, his voice a bit febrile. “I suppose the… funeral will be held soon.”  

It was already unbearably hard enough for his mind to understand the idea that y/n was dead and would never come back, but to imagine her immobile body in a casket, alone in the darkness and the coldness of the silent underneath the ground…No, fucking no, that was something he could not and could never handle. When he looked at Tom again, Mattheo saw him as lost in thought, as if he felt the same way. And he knew he did. 

“Do you believe she could have had some sort of stalker or admirer?” Tom questioned after a moment of silence. 

“You mean, other than you?”

Tom looked at him, now angered but a bit surprised as well. 

“Unbelievable. y/n is dead and you’re still thinking about this?” 

Mattheo didn’t answer. Of course that was stupid to think about what happened last year, especially now. Last year, between Umbridge’s tyranny and the suspicion that had raised around Mattheo and Tom now that their father was back, something Mattheo never imagined happened: Tom, the cold and quiet Tom who had never looked at a girl before, had fallen in love. Mattheo had been amused at the idea, and had been curious to know who the lucky girl was, despite the whole thing happening in front of his eyes. One day, a very surprised y/n had come to him, saying Tom had asked to talk to her in private and had confessed to her that his heart, which all thought cold and frozen, had fallen for her. Angry as he never had been in his life and only listening to the part of himself which was telling him that his brother wanted to steal everything from him, Mattheo had immediately went to see Tom and a big fight had followed, and it would have probably became physical if Tom hadn’t remain his calm self, although greatly annoyed at Mattheo’s shouting, and his friends holding him back just in case. y/n , sweet, innocent y/n had felt guilty despite not being at fault, and later Mattheo had realized that it was likely her fondness and compassion for Tom, who was “always so alone” which had made his older brother think he and y/n might have a chance. Mattheo had never been mad at y/n, but, unable to not be angry at Tom and unable to not think that Tom wanted y/n just because she was with him, his cordial relationship with Tom had been broken, and they never had any contact after Tom graduated. But with time, Mattheo had realized he understood Tom. After all, y/n was beautiful and had a heart of gold, and people were drawn to her and her warmness, kindness and natural charm. It wasn’t even a surprise that someone like Tom, cold and silent, would fall for her despite being as different as can be. But while also thinking about this, he had then remembered all the times he had seen Tom and y/n speaking, studying, or just the kind things he would sometimes tell her, and it had made sense.

“I know they found your wand. You mentioned you lost it,” Tom said suddenly. “Do you have any idea where that might have happened?”

“No,” Mattheo said, looking at the ground. “I just know I lost it after class.”

“Did you tell anyone?”

“y/n.”

“Are you sure you don’t remember any details? Anything that could help?” 

“I already told you no,” Mattheo said with annoyance. 

He tried to think hard about it, though, trying to remember his walk from y/n’s dorm to the dark corner of the castle where he met Theo, and remembered it overall - the empty corridors, making sure nobody, especially a teacher, wouldn’t see him. He then tried to remember every detail of the way back. He tried hard, forcing his mind to bring itself back to this moment, but to his great confusion, he didn’t remember anything. It was as if, one moment, he was walking away from Theo, and the other, he was walking by the courtyard, seeing his biggest nightmare coming true. 

“I don’t remember anything from my way back to her dorm,” Mattheo simply said. 

“What do you mean?”

“Like I said, I don’t remember anything between leaving Theo and seeing h…her body.” The last two words still had a hard time leaving his mouth. Suddenly, he had a thought, maybe the most clever and useful thought he had ever since he had been brought here. 

“Maybe you losing your wand and your memory somehow disappearing are linked,” Tom stated, and Mattheo nodded. “Did anybody here do some strange things or had a strange behavior this year?” 

Mattheo thought, and quickly had an idea.

“I heard Harry speaking with his friends once. He said Draco was up to something, and, well, I noticed he’s been acting strangely since september.”

Tom remained silent, and acquiesced. 

“Then I shall have a conversation with our cousin.”

They opened the door after Tom knocked once, and the two Aurors were still here waiting for him when he left the room. He ignored them and started walking down the small corridor, but they apparently were not willing to do the same. 

“Did he tell you anything?” one of the Aurors asked, full of curiosity, trying to keep up with Tom’s quick and long footsteps. 

Not bothered, Tom did not even give him an answer. 

“Well?” the other insisted. 

“No, he did not,” Tom answered this time, but only to get rid of them. “He already told you he was innocent. There was no more he had to say. Just like I have nothing to say to you.”

It worked, and the Auroras stopped following him. He left their outraged and suspicious gazes behind his back, but to say he didn’t care was an understatement. It was already the end of the afternoon, and classes just finished. Tom, ignoring the surprised looks of the crowds of students, walked to Snape’s class, and found him here sitting behind his desk. His former professor raised his eyes, and though he didn’t show it, Tom knew Snape was surprised to see him at Hogwarts. 

“Snape.”

“Mr. Riddle.” 

“I wish to talk with a few of your students. Be kind to bring them here.”

“And may I ask why you wish to talk to them?”

“If I thought it concerned you, I would willingly tell you,” Tom responded. “Now, Draco Malfoy, Pansy Parkison and Daphne Greengrass.”

Snape looked at him, but did not say a word. Minutes later, only two silhouettes entered Snape’s dark greenish class. The two girls exchanged a curious look upon seeing Tom.

“Tom?” Pansy Parkinson asked. She had always been somehow unafraid of him, and Tom respected that fact. “What are you doing here?” 

“I’m here to help my brother.” 

Parkison raised her eyebrows with genuine surprise. “You think he’s innocent?” 

Tom nodded. “I know you two ladies were y/n’s closest friends. I need you to tell me if she had anyone who wished to do her harm.” 

Pansy shook her head and had a slight sigh, “we already told the Aurors everything.”

Daphne nodded, “y/n had no enemies. Well,” she added with a false smile, “at least that’s what we thought until her own boyfriend turned out to be one..” 

“Mattheo is innocent,” Tom retorted right away. 

Pansy chuckled bitterly, “Don’t make me laugh, Riddle. Everyone in school knows how they found his wand near her body, and how the last spell it cast was the killing curse. He did kill our friend, and I hope he will rot in Azkaban for the rest of his days.”

Tom remained silent, ignoring his growing annoyance, and instead focused his mind on entering Parkison’s. He saw her in Daphne’s arms, probably crying over y/n’s death, and going back to before that event, he saw her this time laughing with Daphne and y/n, and his heart - if it was still there - skipped a beat. Seeing her full of life, laughing, when he knew she would never laugh again was almost too much to bear. He continued inspecting Parkison’s memory, and when he couldn’t find anything, did the same thing to Greengrass. He didn’t find anything new inside her mind, and had a hard time not showing his displeasure. He had entered their minds and saw their memories so quickly that they didn’t even notice what he did. 

“Where is my cousin?” Tom finally asked, quickly looking at Snape.

“Draco?” Parkinson asked. “Well, we saw him in class, but…”

“He left right after the last one. Maybe he’s in the common room, or maybe his dorm?” 

Tom wanted to ask if, like Mattheo, they thought Draco had been acting weirdly, but wouldn’t do that in Snape’s presence. He gestured for the two girls to go, and turned back towards Snape. 

“If I don’t find who murdered y/n and exonerate my brother before I leave Hogwarts, I suggest you continue looking for the murderer. Because, as you well know, Severus, my wrath is nothing compared to his.”

Not waiting for Snape’s answer, Tom left the room. He directly went for the dungeons, where the Slytherin common room was. Some friends of Mattheo were here, sitting on some of the couches - Berkshire with his innocent face, Nott always acting as if he had no care in the world and Zabini who never smiled - and they immediately came to him when they saw him. 

“Tom?” Nott asked. “You’re here to help Mattheo, right?” 

“Did you find anything?” Berkshire asked. 

“I need to speak to my cousin. Where is he?”

“We don’t know,” Zabini shrugged. “I looked in our dorm, he’s not here.”

Tom decided to go check the room himself, and walked in its direction. As Zabini said, there was no one here. The room was well ordered, full of expensive things both Zabini and Draco’s parents had bought and of Slytherin decoration, but Tom looked into it, he didn’t find anything. His patience growing thin, Tom quickly left the room, and, ignoring Mattheo’s friends and their questions, left the common room. Walking through the corridors, he only met a few much younger students who did not dare to look at him for too long until he saw three silhouettes talking softly.

“Potter.”

The latter turned immediately, but didn’t seem that surprised to see him, and they walked closer to each other.

“My brother told me you found Draco’s behavior strange. Why?”

“We saw him at Borgin & Burke with his mother. They seemed like they didn’t want people to know they were here. Sometimes, he disappears and doesn’t come to class. He’s always quiet, and you never see him outside of class.”

“And pray tell, what’s your theory?”

Potter stared at him, and as Tom expected, didn’t say anything.

“Come on, Potter. You’re smarter than most people give you credit for.”

“Well, I definitely wouldn’t be smart if I told you what I thought.”

Tom inclined his head, squinting his eyes. “So it has to do with my father. You believe he’s a Death Eater, don’t you?”

Potter’s eyes hardening was enough for Tom to know he was right.

It wasn’t common for Tom’s father to pick followers that young, but if it was indeed true, Tom was not surprised. Either his father had expected Draco to replace Tom’s uncle Lucius, or he was forced to. I know my cousin. He may be arrogant and spoiled, but he doesn’t have the stomach to be a Death Eater. Not for long, anyway.

“I see,” Tom continued. “And where do you think he goes when he disappears?”

Potter looked at him, hesitating before giving an answer. “I can’t be sure, but…the Room of Requirement makes sense.” 

And with that, Tom turned his heels and went to the seventh floor of the castle. He knew it was going to be hard, as that room could appear anywhere, but he wasn’t going to give in. In a long, empty corridor, he closed his eyes, and walked past a large naked wall three times. I need to find what Draco has been up to. I need to find who killed y/n. Doing his best to shut the pain that thinking about y/n brought him, he walked past the wall for several minutes, but when he stopped his pace and opened his eyes, the wall was still naked. Growing angry, he all of a sudden heard footsteps breaking the silence. He focused, and almost instantly knew who it was. Draco. Putting himself against the wall, Tom waited barely a minute, and immediately grabbed Draco, who, as expected, tried to resist.

“Let me go!”

“Quiet.”

Draco immediately stopped moving, and, upon seeing who had grabbed his arm, frowned.

“Tom?” 

Tom immediately saw that Draco’s face was paler, looking even a bit gray, and thinner than usual, and that he had dark bags under his eyes. 

“Greetings, cousin.” Tom said with calm and a smile. “I have a few questions to ask you, if you don’t mind.” 

Draco started to struggle again, but Tom took out his wand, pointing it on his cousin’s chin. 

“Do not make me do something I will not regret. It is really simple, cousin. You either answer my questions, or I will get them out of you. Do we understand each other?” 

Draco remained silent, but Tom knew he understood. 

“Do you know who killed y/n?” 

“No!”

“Do you know who might have done it?”

“No! Let me go, now, or I’ll-”

“Do what?” Tom said, amused. “Please, pray tell.”

Draco again didn’t say a word, only giving him a death stare. Despite allegations of Draco acting weirdly and his weaker look, Tom knew it didn’t mean Draco had anything to do with y/n’s murder - the word was enough to almost wreck havoc. However, despite Draco’s denial, Tom felt something was off. Just like he did with y/n’s friends, Tom entered Draco’s mind, but found it way harder. Immediately understanding why, Tom smiled.

“I see my mother taught you Legilimency. I expected better, though.”

Not wasting another second, Tom pointed at Draco’s forehead. At first, he was shown memories from Draco’s first years here, bullying students with his friends, then darker, unhappier memories with his parents and Tom and Mattheo’s mother at Malfoy Manor, succeeded at last by what really interested Tom. He suddenly saw his father, probably furious after Uncle Lucius failed the disaster at the Ministry, and then had a memory of Draco inside the Room of Requirement - as Potter had guessed - standing in front of what Tom knew was a Vanishing Cabinet. The whole scenery disappeared, and instead there was the boys’ restroom, with Draco sitting on the ground with his face in his hands, crying. Next, he was back to Malfoy Manor, standing in front of both Tom’s parents.

“My sons have both been a disappointment, a great disappointment,” Tom’s father said calmly. “I still hold hope for Tom, but as for Mattheo…If I don’t act quickly, he will be out of reach forever. You said there was a girl at Hogwarts that he ‘loves’.”

Tom felt his heart beat faster, and his breath became short. 

“Well,” his father continued, “along with the other task you have been given, Draco, you will kill that girl. If you don’t, I’ll kill your mother and then you.” 

If he thought Dumbledore telling him of y/n’s death broke his heart, learning it was his father who ordered it broke his soul. But he had barely time to process that memory that another came, bringing him back to Hogwarts. Draco was standing against a wall in an empty corridor. Tom heard voices from afar, and after a moment, saw his own brother. Jumping behind him, Draco pointed his wand at the back of Mattheo’s head.

“Impero.”

Mattheo took his wand out of his robe and Draco grabbed it. Mattheo didn’t move as Draco went back to the spot he was hiding it, and pointed once again his wand at Mattheo.

“Obliviate.”

A few seconds later, Mattheo slightly shook his head and continued walking, eventually disappearing. The next memory happened at night, and Draco was once again hiding, this time in a corridor which led to the courtyard, apparently waiting for someone. But Tom didn’t even have to guess who, because it was as if his whole being knew who was coming and what was going to happen. He didn’t want to look, didn’t want to hear, but his eyes refused to look away or to close themselves. He heard familiar footsteps, and suddenly, y/n appeared; walking rather quickly, and she took a glance at the darkness of the courtyard. Tom saw Draco’s hand shaking as he pointed Mattheo’s wand at y/n and, after hesitating for a short moment, opened his mouth.

“Avada Kedavra.”

Despite his whole being screaming at him to look away, Tom turned to y/n and saw her looking at the green light coming to her right and gasping before the spell hit her, and her body hit the ground. Draco closed his eyes, and a tear ran down his cheek. Taking his own hand, Draco moved it, and y/n body started levitating, heading for the courtyard, before eventually lowering itself to the ground. Tom stayed here, looking at her corpse, wanting to scream for the first time in his life. He didn’t know how long he stared at him, his very soul in pain, but it must not have been for long, because when he pulled himself together, Draco was still here, and he heard a familiar voice.

“y/n?”

Mattheo was here now, close to her body. He kneeled near her, taking her into his arms, calling for her, asking her if she could hear him, eventually crying, screaming for her to come back. Draco once again shed a tear, and took out both his wand and Mattheo’s. He made Mattheo’s wand float to fall down near Mattheo. Wiping away his tears, Draco tried to look normal, started walking away, and thus his memory was over. Tom was brought back to reality, to the corridor where he was holding Draco - y/n’s murderer, the one who had taken his only chance of happiness from him. If it was another person who had been killed, Tom might have understood why the murderer did it and even maybe felt compassion as he knew how his father was, but it was y/n, and it took everything in Tom to not torture Draco in ways that would have make his father happy. Draco tried to fight Tom’s grasp again, but this time, Tom took the opportunity to answer the last question he had on his mind. He rolled up Draco’s left sleeve, and saw the Dark Mark. Potter was right, after all, was all that he thought.

“It was Draco.”

Mattheo looked at his brother, confused.

“What? Draco did what?”

Tom looked back at him. “He killed y/n. I saw it. In his mind. Our father told him to.  He put you under the Imperius curse to take your wand, used it to kill her, and put it next to you after killing her.”

Mattheo tried to grasp the idea, but simply couldn’t. Draco, his vain cousin, spoiled and loved by his parents like neither him or Tom had been? 

“He’s a Death Eater,” Tom added with no emotion. “He has the mark. He killed her to save both his and his mother’s lives. I do think he didn’t want to do it. He cried a bit.” 

Mattheo gulped. “Did she…Did she see him? 

But Tom knew what his real questions were: did y/n see death coming? Was she scared? Did she scream for help, for anyone - for him, to come and save her? 

Tom became pale, and for the second time in his life, Mattheo saw that his brother’s eyes were sad. 

“No. She only saw the spell for a quick second before she…”

Mattheo closed his eyes, and nodded. One half of him wanted to see it with his own eyes, wanted to see her last moments, where he should have been here to save her, but the other half refused to, convinced he would turn into a mad man if he saw her dying. Mattheo felt warm tears leave his eyes and roll down his cheeks. 

“She was all I had,” he said, his voice hoarse. 

“I know,” Tom said, staring at the wall on his left. “She was all I had, too.”

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Masterlist

[guardian-angle22]

maybe you’ve already done this but I would love to know your top underrated tarlos moments

Thank you for asking! I did make a set once for my favorite background moment. That set is here. I do like that one!

As far as underrated, I think that can be tough with a fandom like ours with as much hiatus time on our hands as we've had... because I think we've hyped up about every possible tarlos moment we possibly can. 🤭

HOWEVER, I can't leave you empty handed here. So! here are some of my Top Slightly-Maybe-Underrated Tarlos Moments:

Carlos Being at Owen's Remission Cake Celebration. Something about the exchange between TK & Carlos at the beginning of this scene just always strikes me. Carlos says, "It's cool your mom came down here for this." and TK says, "It's cool you did. Thanks for being here, babe." and something in his face after that exchange just says to me that he's not used to having a boyfriend show up for things like this. So it feels like a subtle but big moment for them!!

TK & Carlos Shopping at the Farmer's Market. There's something very domestic and sweet about the two of them walking through the farmer's market together swinging their tote bags, buying flowers, sniffing random plants, checking out the local jam offerings.

TK & Carlos Cuddling on the Couch. Much has been said about the cuddling specifically in this scene, the equal opportunity big/little spoon situation. but also I just love the thought of them doing this regularly: cuddling up in front of the TV at the end of their shifts, decompressing, and telling each other about their day and their struggles. encouraging each other. and then also cuddles.

Holding Hands at Owen's Intervention. The tone they kind of took this scene in with the music and editing made it seem less serious, but I feel like the situation would've been very stressful for TK (especially as someone who had been on the other side of an intervention before like he said) and I love the silent support Carlos offers here and the way he tucks his fingers into TK's sleeve.

TK Sleeping on Carlos as He Works. This probably isn't underrated but. it's one of my All Time Favorite Moments and therefore it makes this list. Here is a set I made for it awhile ago that I still really enjoy. The way TK tries to get Carlos to stop working in the middle of the night and when he realizes that's not going to work, he says okay. I'm gonna sleep right here and be with you then. He said I'm not going to sleep alone ever again if you're here so MAKE ROOM, BABY!

Carlos Keeping His Eyes on TK. not sure how else to describe it tbh, but just the way Carlos zeroes in on TK taking the phone call at the end of 3.07... it's like he always has a feeler out for what TK is doing at all times, even when surrounded by their friends. I truly wish we got to see the aftermath of that phone call. the way Carlos would've taken care of TK in that moment.

Scritchy Scratches. that's it. send tweet.

Soft!Dom Carlos Backing TK Up. listennnn this scene might be talked about a lot. but never enough. the gentle dom carlos of it all truly eats at my brain constantly. the way he backs TK up, reigns in his spiraling and calms him down with just a couple words and grip of the neck. I cannot.

TK Offering Carlos Back Rubs. another instance of TK waking up because Carlos isn't next to him. recognizing that Carlos needs comfort and offering to rub his back, like he's probably been doing for multiple nights now. it's just another sweet look into the way they comfort and support each other that might not get fully shown but is still there.

The Wedding Leg Grip. this is my Most Favorite of all the gifs I've made for the touch series. idk what it is about this particular gesture, but the way Carlos grabs TK's leg will forever be famous to me and we should be talking about it every week.

[whateverisbeautiful]

♥️Reveling in Richonne - TOWL

#54: The Missed (1.06)

gif cred: @nerd4music

All those years without Richonne on my screen, they were dearly missed by me. And I love how after all those years Richonne spent apart, they now get to express how deeply they missed each other too.

Also, it was nice to realize that the regal Richonne bedroom location wouldn’t only be shown in the teaser as they revisit it several times throughout episode 6. And this first time they cut back to it is one of my favorites 🥰...

After Beale tells Rick that today is “a day completely about tomorrow.” in the briefing room, we get this lovely scene of Rick and Michonne resting in bed.

I like how the cut to this bed scene seems to imply that this moment with Michonne is what Rick is thinking about while in this meeting with Beale. I know now that Rick is back to his senses and fully intent on going home with her, the CRM can hardly keep his focus anymore. Because for Rick, now it’s just about handling business and finally heading home with his wife. 

gif cred: @ricksmarlene

On the bed, Michonne is facing away from Rick and I love that her wedding ring is visible on her finger. Also the way they were getting it on in that teaser, you know Michonne’s a little understandably tired. And I'm inclined to think she knows she has to rest facing away from him because they know how irresistible they are to each other - so if she faces him they’re surely going to be back up on each other. 😊

It’s really sweet seeing Rick rubbing her back with his thumb and then especially sweet is when he says another one of my favorite things he’s ever said as he tells Michonne, “I missed you so much. Words can’t even say it right.” 😭

gif cred: @nat111love

Since returning to himself and coming alive again Rick has got Michonne multiple gifts, got down on one knee with a ring, and expressed in several ways how much he loves her and can’t live without her, and yet he still feels like he hasn’t quite found the way to truly capture how much he’s missed her. 🥲

Rick Grimes’ heart will never fail to make my heart melt. He loves her so much. Just when you think that’s already been made clear, this love story goes and makes it even clearer. Also, the fact that he told Michonne she never has to thank him ever meanwhile he's still eager to search for all the ways to let her know how much he missed her. 😭

And I love that he’s telling Michonne this here after everything they’ve been through - telling her that while he was away, it was her that his heart ached for every day.

gif cred: @nat111love

(Side note: I was just thinking again about how it really does track with Rick's character that he would decide to die once he felt he'd lost Michonne for good in TOWL. Because even in TWD, a light turned off in Rick anytime he thought he lost Michonne. Rick's resilient spirit is not easy to break, but his will to fight and live always takes a major hit whenever he thinks Michonne has been taken from him. 🥺 Especially because to love someone as strongly as Rick and Michonne do means to grieve them just as strongly when they're taken from you.)

Another headcanon that I always envision is that at some point when they’re settled back home, Rick shares with Michonne just how close he came to permanently ending it all during his darkest moments in the CRM.

Like when he says 'words can’t even say it right' it makes me think that part of that is because it’s hard to fully convey the depths of despair he felt when he thought he’d never see her again. He movingly opened up about it in Episode 4, but when you love and feel as deeply as Rick does you know what he expressed in ep 4 probably still feels like the tip of the iceberg to him in capturing exactly how he felt while apart. 

But fortunately one of the longest standing elements of Richonne’s soulmatism is their interconnectedness. They feel what the other feels and understand each other without even having to explain, and so I adore that Michonne responds by saying, “You don’t have to. I know.” 😭

gif cred: @nat111love

She says it so tenderly and assuringly. I love that this is her response because it has layers to it. One; it’s freeing Rick from feeling like he even has to find the words because she already knows and trusts how much he missed her. I mean even just from every time he kisses her it’s more than clear.

It reminds me of their ily scene in season 8 when Rick tells Michonne he’s sorry and she says “You don’t have to be.” She’s always so understanding and so good at lifting away anything that could make Rick feel like he hasn’t done enough.

And then two; best of all is that Michonne is saying Rick doesn’t have to find the words because she missed him that much too. 🥺

She knows exactly what it felt like to have her heart ache for him everyday they were apart. I’m sure when she told Nat that she could feel Rick out there in ep 2, what she felt was the immense longing he was emitting and it felt akin to the immense longing within her. 

And once again, this reminds me of the Top 10 Richonne scene in TWD when Michonne tells Rick she knows he’s okay because she’s okay too. I love that since season 4, these two have always had this unique connection that allows them to know each other intimately and innately and share the same feelings at the same level.

So after all these years, how badly they missed each other doesn’t even have to be said because it’s something they both know and felt equally. 🥲

Then, after Rick and Michonne express that they know how deeply they’ve missed the other, Rick then wants to know another thing -  if they’re crazy lol.

gif cred: @nat111love

I love that he just asks outright, “Are we crazy?” And yes they absolutely are and we love them for it. 😌 I mean, one of the first things Richonne beautifully bonded over is that they interact with dead people. They have a lot going on in those minds of theirs.

Michonne knows they’re crazy too so I love that she answers, “Certifiable.”

I think Rick asks this here because he knows they’ve concocted a whole plan to essentially go right into the belly of the beast and expose the most powerful military on the planet as their quick stop before going home together. Just a short little homebound detour, ya know? 😋

Ordinary people would probably be too afraid to risk taking this on, but Richonne said...

Like forget 'go big or go home,' Richonne knows they're capable of going big and going home. And they were smart to devise a plan that's more of a secretive inside operation rather than attempt to start a whole war against the CRM or something.

I like how Michonne’s response shows she has embraced the crazy in both her and her husband, so she’s just calmly ready to go through with this plan. 

gif cred: @nat111love

When they say this, there are then several TWD clips shown of memorable Rick and Michonne moments. They show Rick when he killed Pete, Michonne when she tore the Governor up and left him with one eye, Rick leaping from the RV onto a Walker in The Day Will Come When You Won’t Be, and Michonne killing walkers with her katana on the beach.

These scenes were included to show that the two are in fact a bit off their rocker but to me, these clips really just emphasized why Rick and Michonne are the baddest to ever do it. 💁🏽‍♀️🔥

They cut back to Rick as he listens to Beale’s spiel - his thoughts clearly elsewhere and his crazy clearly bubbling up to the surface slowly but surely.

gif cred: @nerd4music

Then there’s a nice and ominous callback to the TWD pilot as Michonne finds a stuffed toy bunny lying in the middle of the floor.

A soldier can be seen carting in even more stuffed animals in the background which has a chilling element to it because it lets you know that somehow children are involved in whatever destruction the CRM has in store. 😰

gif cred: @nerd4music

It’s an interesting visual with these children’s toys contrasting the cold and sterile environment. And it also had me like...CRM, what exactly do y'all got planned because...

Michonne picks up the bunny, curious, and then hands it over to a soldier. Then I’m hit hard when she thinks about her kids and they show flashbacks of Michonne with Carl in Clear, Michonne and Rick running to get Carl to the infirmary in No Way Out, and Michonne being pregnant with RJ on that horrible day when Joycelyn and her Children of the Corn attacked her. 😖

There's also the great moment when Michonne and Judith took down walkers together with their swords, and when she had a family group hug with Judith and RJ during their beach day. 😭 Michonne with her babies never fails to warm my heart. It's such a reminder that she's come so far in her journey. 🥹

And to me, any viewers' claims that Michonne "didn't have an arc throughout the franchise" and was a "stagnant character" are easily disproven when you really pay attention to Michonne’s story. People are entitled to their opinions of course, and in my opinion, Michonne has such a moving arc in TWD and TOWL.

Some seem to think that because she’s been extremely competent since Day One that means she didn’t grow. But if anything, I've found it particularly impactful how Michonne's story explores the distinct growth journey of someone so competent and capable. Someone who could have easily just lived life as the "efficient weapon" but learned to put her walls down and also live life as a human being with plenty of multifaceted emotions expressed over the seasons.

Plus, while a lot of Michonne's early days of the apocalypse weren’t shown, she wasn't always okay mentally, having struggled to recover from the incredibly hard losses of her toddler, boyfriend, and refugee camp. 😔

We saw that she obviously took the losses extremely hard and went crazy carrying her dead boyfriend and friend around on leashes. Like, imagine if Rick carried Lori and Shane’s corpses around on a leash. It was a bit insane to have been carrying around the walker-version of people super close to her.

I believe I remember Michonne told Ezekiel that when she put Mike and his friend on leashes it was first and foremost to torment herself and punish them, and it was only secondary that she realized they actually had a practical use to shield her from other walkers as well. So it makes sense that Michonne previously acknowledged she was a “crazy lady with a sword” when she found team family. 

And for Michonne to go from the 'crazy' closed-off lone wolf that her trauma turned her into, to being a sound leader, adored wife, and cherished mother surrounded by the love of her family was truly beautiful to watch organically evolve over the years. 👌🏽

So then, after seeing clips of young Carl, Judith, and RJ, they land the Grimes kids montage with the absolute gut punch of seeing Rick and Michonne burying Carl. 💔

I’ll always be broken up over the wrongful death of Carl Grimes btw. He’s forever missed. And while Carl may be gone, he is certainly not forgotten by us or his parents...and that’s made fully evident as the TOWL finale goes on. 👌🏽🥲

[jack-o-phantom]

All Eyes on Chime!! Art Contest Winners !!

Hello everyone! Thank you to everyone who participated in my very first art contest surrounding Chime, my goofy robot.

I will be tagging all the artist, their original post/and or blog! I have already rebloged all the artist original posts with my tags but I will add a short summary for them.

Our First place winners!

Who gain x1 Full body render + rendered Chibi ^^! a character of their choice!

In theme as a collaborative effort from @sa1m0nn and @a1stinky3z with an amazing piece!!!! Chime being seen singing to the viewer before becoming aggressive in 3 short moments with a slash!! Such great work from Sal in the rendering and format!! Gah I love it

Our Other First place winner was from @cloudyvoid!! A Short gif of Chime in amazement with her Oc Neptune! This was such an astonishing submission >< I was blown away by the lighting and story telling from a simple image! I think they'd get along swell

The link is to their account as ArtFight has been down for a few days now!!

In our Second Place category!

Who gain x1 Half Body render + rendered chibi ^^! a character of their choice!

From @theblog-with-thestuff !! This was an amazing entry, the lighting, scene, and posing is everything to me!! His gift box towards his work is the icing on the robotic cake

Submission from @ane-doodles chime gets jammy!! Once again, the lighting is amazingly made. What stuck out about this one was the perspective :0!! Well done ^^

Our 3rd Place winners

Who gain x1 Half body render, a character of their choice!

Chime being smug and mischievous, from @wired-migraine !! The disappointment in the STAFFs body language says it all LMAO perfectly fits his character to sit down where ever he pleases

An on theme submission from @nebuladreamz Gahh!! I've already ranted in their tags but I loved everything about this, the smile, the lighting, and notes?? Amazing

Our 4th Place winners

Who gain x1 chibi simple each, a character of their choice!

A terrifying rendition from @mechanicallizard !! With attention to texture, chimes abilities, and a wide smile :)

A sing-song lyrical piece from @world-loading !! Showing off the two sides of chime that work together to create the Robot we all know and love :)

From @mitathemita !! With an amazing submission, the movement of the ribbons is what really got me. Done so very gracefully in an eerie way /pos!!

This smugsmug Chime was drawn by @poisned !! Watch him stealing hearts out here. The uniqueness of lineless is such an amazing technique that works so well here, applause!

Thank you everyone who joined my silly art competition!! I will go down the list of everyone who's won, it will take time to go through each one, your patience is appreciated!

Winners! Congrats on your places, send over your character you wish to be drawn. As I said before, I will go down the list from 1st to 4th! Mind you, I will make a master post with all the finished winner pieces.

If you are uncomfortable with me posting your Oc, please specify! ^^ If you have any questions, don't be afraid to ask!

[sweatervest-obsessed]

Something Old, Something New

Spencer Reid used to know everything about Y/N Y/L/N. But what happens when ten years after they last saw each other, they just so happen to bump into one another.

Pairing: Spencer Reid x Fem!Reader

Word Count: ~2.7k

TW: Brief mentions of domestic violence, the slightest implications of DV, mentions of guns, Spencer hating JJ, colorful language.

Notes: This is my first ever fan fiction and so I’d absolutely love some feedback! I really want to expand this into either a full sized fic, or a series. Would anyone be interested in that ???? This takes place during S7E1 in which the team is on Trial because of their actions with Ian Doyle, Declan Doyle, and the others. One of my fav Reid episodes, and just a good one overall. Side note, it’s barely edited, apologies in advance. 

GIF not mine.

::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::

“If you want to punish me for taking a risk, then I encourage you to do that, but do not put the rest of my team on trial for something I suggested.” The words flew out of his mouth. Some might think it was because he wasn’t thinking clearly. But he was. Senator Cramer was not amused. “Calm down Agent.”

“This is calm, and it’s doctor.”

“That’s all then, Doctor Reid.”  

“Thank you, Senator.” His chair scraped across the floor as he stood up. Spencer turned around and exited the jury room, door slamming behind him.

The team all stared as he stalked past them, and out towards the bathroom. JJ started to follow him before Derek put his hand up in front of her.

“Derek–”

“Let him go JJ.”

She sighed before turning around and walking the opposite direction. Just then, one of the clerks opened the door to the room and requested that Technical Analyst Penelope Garcia enter next.

As Spencer walked towards the bathroom, his mind was racing a million miles an hour. His anger was surely justified and the Senator was not listening to him, at all. Especially since the only thing the committee really even wants to do is have an excuse to transplant every one of his teammates—

“Shit!”

Spencer had collided with someone. Head on.

“O-oh, I’m..” He quickly bent down to help her pick up the various items now strewn across the floor, due to his negligence to his surroundings.

“I’m so sorry.” He managed to sputter out before actually managing to look up to the person he bumped into, holding out the remaining item on the floor–a small black binder, clearly heavier than it looked.

The woman he had run into smiled quickly, but kindly at him.

“It’s okay—thank you—don’t worry about it. Could’ve had a coffee or something in my hand and then we would have had a serious issue.” She placed the binder back into her bag, somehow already neatly organized despite being completely empty and on the floor a minute before. She laughed a little before smiling at him.

Reid smiled back at her.

“I-I really am sorry about all your….” He tapered off. “Y/N?”

Y/N really looked at him for a moment before her whole face shifted. “Spencer?”

Both stared at one another in the hallway until a voice called over to the two of them “Hey Pretty Boy, we’re getting called in.”

Y/N tilted her head, a small smirk making its way across her lips.

“...Pretty Boy?”

“Yeah—–Well. No. It’s his nickname for me, uh..”

“Reid!”

She smiled at him. “Go Spencer. I’m here all day. Maybe you should look for me downstairs in the library when you’re done testifying in…” she peered around him and looked at where Derek was standing. “Federal Court? Oh Spencer, didn’t know you had become such a rule breaker.”

“A lot’s happened in the past ten years Y/N.” He smiled at her before turning around and walking towards Derek who pushed his lips together, trying not to make a bigger scene than before.

“Are we going to talk about whoever that is?”

“Nope.” Spencer pushed past Derek and into the courtroom.

_________________________________________________________

Once the team, except for Prentiss, was released into the hallway, JJ tried to grab Spencer's hand.

“Spence—”

“Not now Jennifer.” Spencer quickly maneuvered himself away from JJ, and headed towards the double doors at the end of the hall.

“Reid…” JJ tried again, but Spencer just pushed past the doors and walked down the stairs. He walked down two flights before exiting the stairwell. He found himself in front of the library, next to a small local cafe that clearly catered to exhausted lawyers and their incessant clients. Reid walked past the little cafe and entered the library. He realized that he didn’t know what type of Law Y/N practiced so he wouldn’t know where in the library she would be, but it wouldn’t matter since she was sitting at one of the tables next to the windows, trying to soak up as much sun while she withered away in the library. She sat with her back to the doors, maybe because the glare was too blinding on the laptop in front of her, or maybe because she couldn’t stop looking up at the entrance hoping a certain Doctor would enter.

Spencer approached her and stood in front of the empty chair.

“This taken?”

Y/N looked up, smiled, and nodded.

“By you Doctor Reid. Please, have a seat.”

Spencer laughed lightly and sat down.

“I feel like I’m in a client meeting.”

Y/N shook her head and closed her laptop.

“Not unless you have something you need a divorce lawyer for Reid.”

Reid looked at the books scattered in front of her, noting what books she had, and what cases she had opened them to.

“Tough case?” He nodded towards the books that she was busy tidying and shoving off to the side. Y/N sighed and stacked the books on the side of the table near the window.

“Not necessarily anything I can’t deal with, it’s just brutal to see someone be repeatedly assaulted by their husband, and–I’m sorry. That’s so…That’s so grim, I didn’t mean to bring the mood, um, down.” She laughed nervously and tucked a strand of loose hair behind her ear.

“Believe it or not, that is probably a regular topic on a weekly basis for me.” Spencer gave her a sheepish smile.

“Wh-” She smiled and shook her head. A ray of sun was slowly stretched across her face, illuminating her eyes, and captivating Spencer. “Well, Doctor Reid. Tell me what a man like you is doing with three PhDs and multiple Bachelor's degrees these days in which you deal with such graphic topics and have to be on trial in Federal Court?”

Reid smiled at his folded hands. “I’m a–uh–profiler for the FBI’s BAU—Behavioural Analysis Unit. We, uh, look at the way an unsub–unknown subject–behaves, as well as the victims behavior, and create profiles based off of that information to help law enforcement agencies, at every level, across the country.” Spencer finished his ramble by biting his bottom lip, and smiling at her. “As for the trail…my team led an operation that was…not at all by the book.”

Y/n nodded, choosing, for Spencer’s sake, to not prod further into the reason he was at the courthouse.“So can you analyze people just by…looking at them?”

Spencer nodded at her. “Yeah, I mean that’s not all that we do. We make preliminary personality profiles yes, but I’ve also made linguistic profiles and geographical profiles–But, uh, y-yeah I can do that…”

“So profile me then Doctor Reid.”

Reid’s brain short circuited at that moment. “I-uh, you. Um. You want me to….”

“Profile me. Yes.” Y/N bit her lip. “Unless, you’re lying to me Spencer.”

Spencer took a breath before locking eyes with her.

“You’re wearing a tailor made dress for you, which means you have enough money to be able to buy nice clothes, and buy someone’s labor to make them for you. Since the dress is well made and uses an expensive material, the case today is really important to you–from the books I’m assuming a messy divorce involving domestic abuse since that is what all of your books are about, and it involves weapons of some type, most likely guns, because one of those books is dedicated entirely to United States versus Hayes, which deals with convicted domestic abusers not being allowed to purchase guns or have a gun license. When I sat down you also had one of the books open to District of Columbia versus Heller, which deals with an individual’s right to possess a firearm unless they’re a convicted felon or mentally ill. You’re not wearing any makeup which means you’re confident about this case, and your client, regardless of her current physical state. It also means you’re confident in yourself, and don't feel the need to hide your face in any way. You’re wearing shoes that add about three inches to your height so that you’ll appear taller in court to make yourself seem like a bigger presence, as well as assert your previously mentioned confidence in this case and your stance in it. The binder you carry is smaller in size, but heavier than expected meaning you probably have a tablet, maybe an IPad, in there for any paper you don’t actually need a physical copy of, which tells me you’re environmentally conscious, or you’re trying to be. Because you also had a plastic water bottle in your purse which means that you knew you had a long day today, but probably also had a long day and or night yesterday since your prep towards yourself was minimal—shall I keep going?”

Y/N was looking at him with that look he simply could not figure out. “If you want Spencer. I’m quite enjoying it.”

He licked his lips before nodding at the coffee cup on the table. “You’re exhausted. I can tell since you’re no longer wearing your shoes, and your hair is now up. You probably work better with your hair up, which stems from the fact that you danced as a child. Hair up means getting to work. You’re also exhausted since you needed espresso. That cup says you’re drinking four shots of espresso in your latte. But it’s probably because you’ve put a lot of thought and time into this case. Which is good for your clients since they need someone who is compassionate and empathizes—” Spencer stopped short. His realization did not go unnoticed by her.

“Did you figure something out, Doctor Reid?”

“You…..Was it….?”

“No.” She sighed before reaching across the table and putting her hand on top of Reid’s clasped ones. His entire body was immediately filled with static.

“No Spencer. But maybe that’s enough profiling for the day, yeah?”

Spencer nodded before darting his eyes around the library.

“Would you, uh, maybe want to go get lunch, um, with me?”

Y/N smiled at him and nodded. “I would love nothing more, Doctor. Shall we?”

Spencer nodded and stood up, watching as she quickly, yet efficiently packed away her laptop, the binder and the rest of her things. She stood up, grabbed all three of the books, her bag, and her coffee.

“At least let me carry one of those books y/n–”

“Spencer, thank you, but I got this. Remember? Strong, confident woman here.” She teased him before walking over and dropping them off at the librarians desk. Reid followed behind her, still trying to fully decode the woman he once knew everything about.

“Want to take the stairs? I have this irrational fear that I’ll get stuck or die in an elevator, or both.” she mused looking at Spencer.

“As someone who has gotten stuck in an elevator, I have to agree. Did you know that according to the National Elevator Industry, there are approximately 27 recorded elevator-related deaths a year, with over 10,000 related injuries?”

Y/N paused before she opened the door to the stairwell. Spencer thought she was going to cancel the lunch. He had spewed before they even made it out of the building. But instead, she laughed a little bit.

“There’s a National Elevator Industry Company?” Out of all the things to come out of her mouth, that was not what he had expected.

“Well, yes. They’re technically the National Elevator Industry Incorporated, but yeah.”

She made a sound surprise before nodding and heading into the stairwell. “Well I’m glad we’re not volunteering to be victims 28 and 29 then.”

Spencer smiled again, and let out a laugh of agreement.  

“I did want to ask you about that sweater vest though. It’s quite....something Spencer...”

______________________________________________________________

By the time the two had reached the main doors to the outside, both were giggling incessantly as Reid recalled the time he got stuck in an elevator with his coworker, Derek. Y/N paused their conversation to say a quick goodbye to the security guards working.

“You know all of their names?” Spencer was slightly astonished, knowing how quick the turnaround was for a job like that, barely even considering the sheer amount of security guards.

“It’s important to thank them since they have to stand there and deal with every single person who comes in or out of the Court. Might as well try to make their day a little better. Besides..” She opened the door for Reid to exit through. “When you’re nice, they’re a little more lenient about…oh I don’t know…plastic water bottles and other things that you’re not technically allowed to bring into a courthouse.”

Spencer smiled at her as they walked down the steps. “And you called me a rule breaker.”

“Well Pretty Boy, I can’t follow all the rules, what fun would that be?” Spencer became flustered as she smiled politely and waved to some of her colleagues as they finished walking down the steps.

“So Mr. Profiler, where are you taking me to lun–”

“Spence!”

Spencer outwardly rolled his eyes, his face steeling up at the sound of the heels coming towards them. Y/n was now profiling him as he excused himself and turned around to face JJ.

“What.”

“Wow–uh—Spence look, I–”

Spencer huffed in annoyance. “Is there something you want Jennifer?”

JJ gave Y/n an apologetic smile before turning towards Spencer. “Hotch and Strauss need us back at the office. We have to, uh, discuss next steps in case of reassignment.”

Y/n watched as Spencer managed to steel himself up tighter than before. “Yeah. Alright. I’ll meet you all there.”

“Well actually we—”

Spencer tried to cut her off again before Derek decided to interrupt, He had been watching the whole interaction. He moved over to the small group. “Reid, we have to leave now.”

Spencer huffed in annoyance and shot him a look but Serek didn’t notice. He had turned towards Y/n at that point, and turned on that classic Derek Morgan Charm. “Didn’t know Pretty Boy could even associate with such a beautiful woman. The name’s Derek.”

He held out his hand for Y/n to take. And she did, shaking it twice before retreating her hand.

Spencer turned to you, with the hint of a devious smile, and nodded in Derek’s direction. “That’s the Derek.”

Y/N’s eyes lit up with amusement, before turning back to Derek. A smile burst across her face. “Oh my god, Spence. This is him?”

Derek looked at Reid, and then back at Y/n, and then back at Reid. “Reid, what is she talking about…”

Spencer just shrugged before turning his back completely to JJ, who seemed more upset by the second at Spencer’s distantness than at Morgan’s blatant attempt to charm his way into Y/n’s heart.

“Yes! Doctor Reid here was just telling me about your adventures on the BAU.”

Derek smiled and nodded at Spencer. “All good things I hope.”

“Oh absolutely. It’s an honor to meet the person who got stuck in an elevator and freaked the fuck out with Spencer all those years ago.”

Derek’s jaw hit the floor, and JJ was pretty speechless herself. Spencer had the smirk of a lifetime written all over his face. Y/n took the opportunity to walk over, and give Spencer a quick kiss on the cheek.

“You still owe me lunch sometime, Doctor Reid.” She winked at him before pulling out her ringing phone, and answering.

Spencer, JJ, and Derek watched her walk away.

“Who the hell was that?” Derek eventually managed out before looking at Reid with a mixture of awe and proudness across his face.

“My former ‘girl next door’.” Spencer smiled, before walking off towards Hotch, Rossi, Garcia, and Emily, ready to head back to the BAU with a newfound determination. The first was to get this god forsaken meeting over with. And the second was to find out everything he could about Y/F/N, Y/L/N.

[starrystormwritings]

Something's Off

Something's Off

Master List <3 Request List <3 Criminal Minds Master List

Spencer Reid x Reader

A/n: Hey so I haven't written anything in over a year and this is my first criminal minds thing ever so any criticism is welcomed. This was written at 3am so any bad grammar or writing can be excused in my opinion lol. Please consider sending me some requests or ideas for anything on my request list, I'm desperate to get back to being active on here but I'm running low on ideas.

Summary: You and Spencer work at the BAU and after a lapse in Spencer's judgment you end up getting hurt.

Warnings: Murder, guns, shooting, stabbing, blood, hospitals, possible death, general criminal minds talk to gruesome murders

Word Count: 2669

(NOT MY GIF)

"There she is, we were starting to think you'd quit on us." Derek joked as me and Spencer walked into the briefing room hand in hand.

After a particularly long and emotional case I had decided to take some time to myself to recover from it.

It had only been a week but in this job that felt like years.

"Yep here I am, no need to worry. I know how much you all missed me." I said with a laugh while sitting down at the round table, Spencer going to grab our coffees.

"Can't argue with that, lover boy over there has been lost without you." Emily said with a laugh smiling at me.

Everyone else had taken their seats as Spencer sat next to me, sliding my coffee in front of me with an excited smile.

"Well as much as I wouldn't use the word lost I have missed having you around here." He blushed lightly, trying to speak in the least awkward manner as he could.

I knew he had missed me at work, everyday he came home to our apartment he'd be glued to my side explaining every detail of the case he'd just gotten back from, wanting to hear my opinions and spend time with me.

As much as hearing about work took away the point of taking time off from it watching Spencer ramble on passionately and excitedly to me was nice.

Plus if I'm being honest with myself I'd be bored without it.

"Six women have been found dead in a suburban town in Texas, all between the ages of twenty to thirty and have appeared within forty-eight hours of each other." Hotch explained whilst Penelope showed the pictures of the crime scenes behind him.

"All girls were found within sixteen hours of being deceased and had already been missing for more than a day, meaning he keeps them before murdering them. He has stabbed them all once in the abdomen, careful not to hit any vital organs so the body doesn't shut down. Instead he stabs them to leave them to slowly bleed out." Penelope added whilst handing folders of information out to everyone.

"So it's likely he already has another girl with him now?" Rossi asked with a frown as he flicked his folder open.

"More than likely yes, and with and increasing confidence and skill set we can only assume he's going to continue at a quicker or more brutal pace the longer he's able to." Spencer added, looking to the group with a smile that matched nothing that he just said.

I sighed and looked at the images in front of me, at least this case seemed fairly simple in comparison to some of what we've had to face.

~~~

"This guy is most likely a social younger man who holds enough respect and familiarity within the area for people to feel comfortable enough to get into his vehicle alone at night. He doesn't force his victims to comply they willingly trust him until it's too late due to his natural charm and charisma. Then he holds them for a day before killing and disposing of them. He doesn't hurt them in their time of captivity, meaning he most likely feels remorse or is unsure of his actions, but the thrill of the kill is to enticing for him to let them go. He's confident within his ability to kill, shown in the slow and precise manner he takes in the murder. He is most likely a local who has lived here his whole life due to his knowledge of the area and the trust everyone has toward him. He also appears confident in his ability to not be caught, since he dumps the bodies rather than hiding them. He believes he's more intelligent than most people and above the law, and his high IQ helps fuel this narcissistic ideal he has of himself. That is all thank you." Hotch walks away from the room of police officers who were noting down his profile, gesturing to Emily, Rossi and Derek to follow him into an interrogation room.

I jumped up from the table I was sat on and gathered my notes from next to me.

"I just don't understand how we could have such a sick individual in our community doing this to women. It's just shocking to me." Officer Davis said from beside me.

He was the head officer on the case and the chief of police in this town, he'd been assisting me and Spencer in the last few hours with trying to create an idea of where to begin looking.

"Yeah it always comes as a shock when a member of your community causes something like this." I offered him a small smile whilst gathering my stuff to head over to Spencer, Officer Davis following closely behind me.

"I just can't believe something like this could happen here."

"Can you think of any groups of people within the community that hold a lot of respect and trust? Like public speakers, church groups, large charity groups or public helpers?" I asked him flicking to the page of possible careers I had, smiling at Spencer as I settled my stuff next to him.

"Well apart from the obvious like the police and fire force, I couldn't think of anything. We're quite a religious area but none of our churches have any well known priests that everyone would know, we have too many churches and priests for people to form personal connections with. Although we do have a large neighbourhood watch group. They do nightly patrols in cars around the streets and main roads. They're a very large group of people."

Spencer's head shot up at the last bit. "Do they have a known leader people would know? Or any type of uniform they wear to be recognisable?" He asked Davis while scribbling something on his whiteboard.

"Not uniforms no. Although, the patrol cars they use do have these stick on lights they use to be recognisable. Pauls the leader, he tells people when their needed for patrol."

"So our unsub could be a patrol member, approaching women in his car so they know he's apart of the watch group and trust him enough to get into the car without any hesitation!" Spencer said turning to Davis "I need a list of names of the leaders of the group."

I opened my phone, calling Penelope "I'll get a list of the people on patrol the nights that these girls were taken, see if there's anyone that was working every night."

~~~

Less than a day, that's all we had to find this woman before it was too late.

I was stood in an office with Spencer and Rossi, bouncing ideas off of each other, hoping something stuck.

"Penelope got him." Derek said with a smile walking into the room.

"Paul Fredrick, thirty-five years old, lived here his whole life, was arrested ten years ago for an assault against an twenty-one year old woman, and in charge of the neighbourhood watch patrol schedule." Spencer read from the paper Derek just handed him.

"Hotch, Emily and that detective are already heading there. We need to go this girl probably hasn't got that long left." Derek said gesturing us out of the door quickly.

~~~

"He's confessed." Spencer said with a smile, kissing me on the head as he took a seat next to me.

I'd been sat in this empty office in the police station for an hour now, something just doesn't feel right.

"Really? Doesn't that seem strange to you? I mean according to the profile this guy is confident and intelligent. Surly he wouldn't confess after an hour of interrogation." I bit my lip lightly as I re-read my notes again and again.

"Well sometimes the profile isn't completely correct. Plus they found the girl in an abandoned warehouse a ten minute drive away from his house." Spencer shrugged "he isn't as confident as the profile indicates, he was also quite anxious and stressed when confronted which was surprising, but the evidence points to him and he's confessed. All of the logic adds up."

"I guess. I just don't feel right." I sigh and look up to him with a frown.

He matches my expression and stands up, kissing my forehead lightly before collecting his stuff. "You probably just need some rest it's been a long weekend. The plane leaves in an hour, I'll go collect our stuff for us."

He gave me one more smile before leaving the room. As I glanced after him I saw the rest of the station basically empty and the time was three in the morning.

With another sigh I gathered my stuff and headed out the door. Maybe ten minutes outside in the fresh air would chill me out.

"Everything alright?" A voice from behind me asked, making me jump.

"Davis hi you scared me." I said with a laugh, holding the door for him as we both walked outside. "Everything's okay yeah I'm just rethinking the case."

"What's bothering you about it?" He asked, lighting himself a cigarette.

"I don't know, the whole thing just seems off, I mean why would Fredrick confess so quickly? He doesn't match the profile at all, he's awkward and of a lower intelligence. I just don't see how he could do this alone. Plus why would he take these woman to an abandoned warehouse that could be accessed to the public or the police whenever rather than his own house? He lived alone in an remote area with no neighbours. It just doesn't add up." I shrugged and pulled my arms closer to me since the cold was nipping at my arms.

All of a sudden I felt a blunt pain hit the side of my head.

~~~

(Spencers pov)

"Everything alright kid?" Derek asks me with a concerned look.

"Yeah, I'm just worried about Y/n." I reply, fidgeting with my fingers as I talk "She's been questioning the case and I'm starting to think she might've been onto something."

"What do you mean?"

"Well didn't Fredrick seem odd to you? He had a low IQ and no charisma at all, even if you knew of him I doubt many people would willingly get into his car. Plus he transported the girls for no reason, he put himself at risk by doing it in that warehouse rather than his own home. There's no way he could've done this alone."

"What are you getting at here kid?"

"Well didn't he come across to you as more of a submissive personality?"

"You think we have two unsubs here? A team?"

I shook my head quickly calling Y/n as I spoke. 

"No not a specifically a team. A dominant who lured the girls and killed them, and a submissive who picked the girls out, disposed of the bodies and took the fall. It would make sense, Fredrick was to easy to find, this unsub would be to intelligent to be this simple. Fredrick was on patrol the nights the girls were taken, he most likely saw them first and then alerted the other unsub of them so he could then take them."

"Well if this unsub was so intelligent how come it was so easy to find his partner?"

The phone rang out, that's strange Y/n always picks up.

"He wanted us to. He pointed us in that direction to throw us off, he didn't need Fredrick and he knew he would stay loyal if he was caught. He wanted us to catch Fredrick so we'd leave."

Derek's eyes went wide as he got his phone out of his phone to call someone.

"You know who told us about the neighbourhood watch and the list of likely suspects?"

Derek asked with a frown.

"Davis."

~~~

"Has anyone seen Y/n?" I asked as I walked into the room that the rest of the team were in.

They all looked at me with worried expressions as Emily handed me my bulletproof vest.

"According to the CCTV she was last seen leaving the station with Officer Davis" Hotch said clearing his throat, trying to remain stern and collected even though he was as distraught as the rest of the team.

"What?" my face fell as I scanned the room, everyone either looking away from me or straight at me with concern. 

Derek's phone beeped and everyone's heads snapped up to look at him as he stood. "Pen's got an address, lets go."

~~~

"FBI!" Derek yelled as he kicked down the door, letting himself into the house as I followed behind, gun trained ahead of me.

"What am I looking for here Reid?" he asked, clearing the first room.

"A basement most likely." I said walking ahead, spotting a door that appeared to be heading downstairs.

I nodded my head toward it and Derek went ahead, opening it slowly and walking down.

I followed close behind him, a loud smash was heard from in front of us and before I could even see Derek shot, leaving Davis on the floor.

"He tried to run, threw something glass at me." Derek said, gesturing to the blood from the new cut on his arm.

"Can you see her anywhere?" I pushed in front of him as he flicked on the light switch.

I scanned the room before my eyes landed on her figure in the corner, laying on the floor looking pale and bleeding from somewhere. "Y/N!" I ran over there, putting my gun away as Derek called for a medic through the radio.

"Hey your going to be okay. I'm so sorry, I should've listened I'm so sorry. Y/n please. Come on open your eyes. Please..." I felt Derek's hand on my shoulder as I started to cry.

Before I could comprehend what was happening a group of medics came in and surrounded her, Derek pulling me out of the room.

~~~

I paced the hospital waiting room floor, it had been hours and we'd heard nothing.

Emily was asleep on two chairs. Hotch was sat looking at the floor, tapping his foot anxiously. Rossi had been standing up to speak to the receptionist every ten minuets, and Derek had be constantly picking up calls from Penelope who had kept ringing for updates despite Derek promising to call her as soon as we knew.

And I had basically paced a hole through the floor.

"Reid sit down and eat something. Stop punishing yourself." Hotch said with a frown.

I shook my head and continued pacing. "I can't, I should've listened to her, or stayed with her. I didn't even try first aid I just froze when I saw her..." I replied, voice cracking.

A doctor cleared his throat behind us "Y/n L/n?"

We all looked up at him with matching worried expressions.

I held my breath as we waited for him to say something.

"She was stabbed in the abdomen but luckily suffered no trauma to any organs. She's lost a lot of blood but she's going to be okay. She's just woken up so she's a bit out of it but she can take one visitor."

I felt my whole body relax as I took a breath.

"She's okay?" I asked again with a shaky breath.

Derek put his hand on my shoulder and nodded with a smile "She's going to be okay kid."

I let out a little sob and nodded my head with a small smile.

"Reid you should go see her, let her know we're all here." Hotch said patting my other shoulder.

I nodded at both of them and followed after the doctor, taking a seat next to her bed, holding her hand in mine as carefully as I could.

She opened her eyes, slowly turning her head to look at me.

Somehow she was still smiling as bright as ever, provoking my face to mirror hers on instinct.

"Hey you." she said with a small laugh.

"Hi." I kissed her knuckles, a few tears escaping my eyes as I looked at her.

"Why're you crying? I'm the one who's be stabbed dumbass." she joked with a small laugh, causing me to chuckle.

"I love you so much, don't you ever do this again. I really thought I'd lost you. I don't know what I would've done."

"I'll try my best to stay alive then, just for you Spence."

She smiled sweetly at me with another small laugh, I admired her face for a second before leaning in to kiss her lips softly.

[emeryhiro]

What Daryl and Carol mean to each other

And why France may have been the best thing for Caryl

This idea has been sitting in my drafts for about six months, but now that we're only 9 days away from the Tribeca premiere, I finally decided to flesh it out and post it.

This post can be taken as part two of my previous one on what Carol means to Daryl [here], but it can also be read independently. And just as a disclaimer, this is just my understanding and opinions on Caryl and all the scenes I mention below. So grab a nice cup of your choice beverage and get comfy 'cause I had a lot to say, and this turned out to be a long one.

I want to start by pointing out some moments where Daryl and Carol got to enjoy each other's company and talk in peace.

Yup, that's all of them... a long list of 4...

I didn't realise how rare these moments were until I started looking through season after season. Don't get me wrong; I know there are countless sweet and meaningful moments that they've shared both on screen and off screen (implied), but very few that we've seen without heartbreak, grief, or danger looming over them. And even the moments in the gifs above were still sandwiched between disasters.

I've read and received many questions, such as, "Why have we had to wait all these years and are having to continue to wait for Caryl to be canon?" and "If it was going to happen, it would have happened by now." and I feel like the above gifs answer all of that.

These two have endured unimaginable pain before and after the outbreak, and throughout it all, they have been each other's light, held each other together, helped each other heal from their past, and become the strongest versions of themselves.

However, they have never been allowed to be selfish, to take a moment to think about what they deserve, or to imagine the possibility of accepting the love they want and need; why? Because they have been so busy protecting and making sacrifices for everyone else.

For the past 13 years, they have been content as long as they have each other in their lives, accepting their current circumstances as long as the other seems happy. But during all that time, they also connected in more ways than they had realised.

The major connection I wanted to point out is that their lives depend on one another now (mutually inclusive). Whether knowingly or unknowingly, they are alive at this moment because of each other. I don't mean this just in a 'save their life when they're in danger' way but also as a 'I can't imagine my life existing beyond yours' and 'I can't distinguish between my life and yours' kind of way.

I briefly touched on this in one of my previous posts about Carol [here], and the show, in general, has been a lot more open with us regarding what Carol wants, but here are a couple of more nuanced instances from the later seasons where we see those feelings show from Daryl and Carol's perspectives:

~~~~~~~~

S10 EP3 Ghosts (Daryl)

The first scene I wanted to mentions is when Alpha confronts them about crossing her border. The moment she says, "You have to be punished," and the whisperers reach for their weapons, we see Daryl shifting on his feet as he prepares to move at a moment's notice.

And as soon as Carol talks back to Alpha, calling her words "Bullshit", Daryl is already moving.

He immediately places himself between them to shield Carol in case Alpha decides to attack her.

Then, when Carol snaps and tries to shoot Alpha, Daryl grabs and takes complete hold of her.

He's not just trying to stop her; he's using himself to shield every inch of her from any possible incoming assault from the whisperers.

Once Alpha allows them to leave, he grabs Carol and her bow and arrows without a second of hesitation (leaving behind his own crossbow) and immediately moves Carol away from the situation.

Once again, when everyone is in danger all Daryl can think about is Carol, making sure she's safe and unharmed, with no concern for himself.

I also think it's so beautiful and important to point out here that while all Daryl could think about was shielding Carol, Michonne was also there trying to protect both of them ♡

~~~~~~~~

S10 EP3 Ghosts (Daryl) - Part 2

The second one I want to mention is later in the same episode when Daryl and Michonne rush Carol back to Alexandria/Siddiq for help after she cuts her arm open badly.

We first find Daryl holding onto a column outside to steady himself while he waits to find out if she's okay.

When Siddiq comes out full of hesitation and can't find the words to answer Michone when she asks if Carol is okay, we see a look of pure fear on Daryl's face.

He freezes; he's holding his breath and won't dare move or say anything because he feels like his whole reality is hanging by a thread, and in the moment, the smallest thing or whatever Siddiq is about to say next might make it all fall apart.

~~~~~~~~

S10 EP9 Squeeze (Daryl)

The third moment I wanted to mention is when Carol is hanging off the edge of a rock in the cave, risking her life just so she can try to destroy part of Alpha's horde, but Daryl finds her and is so confused and terrified by what she's doing.

He tries to tell her, to warn her that she's gonna get herself killed if she tries to go through with what she's planning.

Look at how he flinches and instantly loses his breath when her hand slips a little... breaks my heart every time.

When she responds to him by saying, "She killed my boy", Daryl's fear is now also combined with desperation because he realised that he didn't need to warn her about the possibility of getting herself killed; he realised she knew the risk all along and was in such a low place that she was almost welcoming the consequences.

What previously was a tone of alarm in Daryl's voice turns into a whisper, and he's now pleading with her. Without saying the actual words, he's begging her to choose to live again, even if it's just for him.

~~~~~~~~

S10 EP14 Look at the Flowers (Carol)

What Caryl wants is also kind of answered in 10x14, where Carol is having an internal confrontation with herself. Subconsciously, she has chosen and manifested Alpha (who is now dead) as the face and voice of the one confronting her.

Timestamp 19:10 - 20:15

When "Alpha" says to her:

"Being out on your own... you've tried it before. They always pull you back. Always wanting more. Love. Motherhood. Death. But they don't know what you truly want. Admit it. What do you want? Say it..."

Carol responded by saying :

"I want to be alone."

To which "Alpha" says:

"Yeah. That's not it."

So the question here is, if it's not love in general, motherhood, death, or being left alone, then what does Carol actually want?

It's important here to note that Carol already knows the answer to that question. She's only asking herself this question because she hasn't accepted it; she isn't being honest with herself yet.

Timestamp 33:15 - 35:20

While Carol is stuck under the rubble and can't get out as the walker is getting closer to her, "Alpha" taunts her by saying:

"Stop fighting. No matter what you do, you lose people. Sophia, Lizzie, Mika, Henry, Ezekiel... And if you go back, Daryl could be next."

To which Carol responds:

"I could never let that happen."

This internal confrontation with herself and the realization that even when everything else in her world is dark, just having Daryl and making sure he's okay is worth living for and fighting for and that it's not too late for her to start over. The acceptance that that's who/what she truly wants gives her the strength at that moment to fight again, dislocating her shoulder to get free and killing the walker that was about to reach her.

~~~~~~~~

S10 EP16 A Certain Doom (Daryl)

Looking back at 10x01 for a second, Carol asks Daryl to run away with her, but he says no and explains that life in tiny boat cabins is not for him. Then Carol presents the idea of running away on his bike instead, and he's much more enticed by his idea; however, by the end of the episode, they both agree that they can't because they still feel responsible for the people around them and making sure that they're safe against the threat from Alpha. 

Back to 10x16, after Carol went to lead the horde off the cliff, Daryl would have almost been expecting and terrified that she wouldn't come back, that she'd take this "out" and end her own pain in a permanent and self-sacrificial way like she's tried before, but this time, he wouldn't be there to beg her to come back to him and to save her. 

Once again, we find him leaning and steadying himself against a tree, preparing for the worst possible news or, as the episode's title suggests, a certain doom.

And when he sees her again, he can't take his eyes off her.

He doesn't believe his eyes at first; he looks all over her to make sure she's not hurt, but when she speaks, asking him if he's good, he finally breathes again, letting out the breath he's been holding.

The community is safe (for now) since the horde has been dealt with, and his next immediate thought is, "You still got me" and "New Mexico is still out there." He immediately brings back the idea of running away together; why? Because he now knows that this time he got way too close to losing her forever and will not be risking that ever again. He's now ready to leave everything and everyone else he cares about behind, so he'll never risk losing her again. 

He loves her so much that, once again, all else comes second.

When he hugs her, he pulls her in tighter than ever before, making sure he's holding onto as much of her as possible because he needs to know that this is real, that he's actually holding her, that she's right there, unharmed and breathing, and not just a part of a dream of what he wants to see. 

I believe he forgives everything in that instant, including her actions that led to losing Connie, because his pain is not worth causing her any more of it. He will now carry that guilt for himself, taking as much of her burden as possible just to make living a little easier for her. Because he'd rather shoulder all the pain and guilt than lose her, and because he can live with the pain and guilt, but he can't live without her. 

~~~~~~~~

S11 EP24 Rest in Peace (Daryl & Carol)

I believe the events of the season 11 finale forced them to come to a new level of internal acceptance. Seeing the people around them lose the ones they love the most started a spark, and it started to force them to have those internal conversations.

The reality began to sink in for both of them that there had been too many close calls to keep denying themselves what they truly wanted, and It's now more true to them than ever that their tomorrow isn't guaranteed.

We all expected this to be the moment they went for what they'd wanted for so long, but we were wrong; their wounds were just too deep, and their instinct to self-sacrifice was once again too strong.

A year later, we see them once again dedicating their lives to helping others, Carol taking over Hornsby's job and helping put the commonwealth back together, and Daryl setting out to see what's left out there, hoping to find Rick and Michonne and bring them back to their family.

~~~~~~~~

TOWL S01 EP04 What We (Daryl & Carol) - A Parallel

There's a pretty important parallel that I'd like to point out as well. In episode 4 of TOWL, when Micheonne asks Rick what the CRM took from him, Rick responds to her by saying:

"When I got taken, I fought, and I fought, and not just by trying to get away, but by how I would dream. I'd meet up with Carl in my dreams. And that's how I survived in here. Kept me alive... But then I started dreaming of you [Michonne]... and it kept me going... I can't live without you. Without you, I die."

It's important here to note that Rick is speaking to his wife. When he was taken away and at his lowest, he survived because when he went to sleep, he dreamed about Carl (his son) and Michonne (his soulmate) and his happy memories with them.

So what does Daryl dream about when he's taken away and at his lowest? (TWD:DD S01 EP01)

He dreams about Judith (his surrogate daughter) and Carol (his soulmate).

He dreams about Judith telling him that he deserves a happy ending too, and his very next thought is of Carol, seeing her again and being with her again because that's the happy ending he truly wants.

And what does Carol dream about when she's at her lowest in season 10?

She dreams about Henry (her adoptive son) and Daryl (her soulmate)

She dreams about the life she's always wanted, a home, a family and a life with Daryl because that's the happy ending she truly wants.

Also, just a quick mention that even Michonne refers to Rick (her husband) as her friend when speaking to Virgil in TWD 10x08 (TS: 40:00 - 41:20)

~~~~~~~~

So why is TBOC going to be any different? And why was Daryl ending up in France the best thing that could have happened for Caryl?

Because they have finally reached a point where they almost believe they've lost the other, they have been forced to feel the dependence of their existence on the others.

They have never been truly separated before, not to this extent. And what to them was previously only a fear has now become a reality.

When they're reunited, it's going to be with a completely new perspective and total understanding of the extent of their need for one another, and the idea of just having one another in each other's lives will no longer even remotely come close to being sufficient.

I'll elaborate a little...

After all these years, we've seen them constantly save one another and be terrified of losing each other. But no matter what, nothing got them to the point where they felt they needed (more than anything) to confess to the other. So far, everything they have faced during the main show has been different shades of the same thing, and the urgency was never high enough to outweigh their self-doubt and insecurities.

What France has given us is a whole new level of steaks. Where we'll find them in season 2 is on the verge of believing that they'll never be able to see each other again; this, coupled with the fact that they don't even know if the other is even alive, and the fact that the distance and time apart has given them a true taste of how much they need the other, we now have the perfect and unique recipe for something that outweighs their self-doubts and insecurities.

It's the age-old idea of you don't know what you have until it's gone. The difference between:

Watching everyone around them lose the people they love most: they empathise with them, their heart breaks for them, they may even be devastated by that loss, and ultimately, it probably makes them cherish the ones they still have even more.

They, themselves, losing the person they love most: this is something that needs to be experienced to be understood. It's reality shifting, and the pain/loss outweighs anything else.

And now, after experiencing that loss for themselves, by some miracle, they're given another chance with that person... what a way to completely shift someone's priorities and ability to act past insecurities.

~~~~~~~~

To wrap up I wanna go back to Norman's words from the NYCC TBOC press conference:

"[Carol] feels something's wrong. They have that kind of bond, where there's a lot of unspoken things that are said... the bonds that we made in the flagship show are still very strong... [Carol] can take care of herself, of course... but the bond just keeps getting stronger and stronger..."

And David Zabel's words from his interview with Entertainment Weekly (interview link):

"The main focus of season 2 for me was always Daryl and Carol coming back together and what does that mean? And it becomes ultimately a story about how we as people can save each other. She's trying to find him, but in the process of telling that story: How are they ultimately getting to a place where they're kind of saving each other?...showing what's happening inside these characters as people in the most intimate personal way"

Daryl and Carol have loved and cared for each other so profoundly, especially when they couldn't love themselves, even to the point of sacrificing their own happiness to prioritise the others. If that is not the true meaning of soulmates, then I don't know what is. And we all know that some of the greatest loves are routed in the truest friendships.

~~~~~~~~

Thank you to everyone who read through this! I know it was an extra long one, and it could have been even longer, but I've decided to post their moments from 10C separately, as there's a lot more to break down there. I really enjoyed writing this, and I'm so happy/grateful that I have this platform to share these thoughts with you all. I'd love to know your thoughts on the things I've mentioned or missed ♡♡♡

As some of you already know, I'll be attending the Tribeca Premiere for TBOC in 9 days. After that, I'd like to write and share a spoiler-free-ish afterthought for this post, including what I've taken away from episode 1, what was said during the cast panel afterwards, and my thoughts on what's to come for Caryl. If anyone would like to be tagged when that's posted, please let me know.

I'll be posting a more detailed and spoilery analysis of Episode 1 once it's actually released.

[wanderlust-in-my-soul]

Oh this is going to hurt... a lot.

I should be worried if the first thing I do after an episode isn't open Photoshop. Normally, I would now recall the best scenes of the series and decide on a set… But not today, even though I have the time. I once wrote that when a series can no longer catch me, you can tell by the fact that I stop making gifs… Okay, sometimes I just don't have the time. But today… I wouldn't even know which scene to choose, because there was nothing that got me, nothing that excited me and nothing that I felt emotional connected to. Instead, I have a lot of thoughts in my head that all want to get out somehow.

After the over-emotionalization of the last episode, I had actually already given up on Last Twilight. And that really hurts to admit. I loved the series from the very first second and I just thought it was so good! The problem for me was that they tried to just touch the audience's tear triggers, their emotions, all of them. And they forgot that too much of a good thing is simply not good. For me, episode 11 was right on the edge of what was bearable and I still don't think Day did the "right" thing. You're allowed to argue in a relationship and hold different opinions and then talk about why you hold a certain point of view, for example. If the other person can't deal with it, if you can't find a compromise, then you have to take the consequences, yes. But that wasn't even done here.

Day insinuated that Mhok pitied him, didn't listen to Mhok's side and today we learn that Mhok really only felt pity? Really? And that he is happy Day broke up with him so he could grow? Really? That is so fucking stupid. Day has problems with pity, that's understood and ok, but it's also ok for Mhok to make his own priorities in life and decide for himself not to want to leave, but to stay with the person he loves. But Day took that decision away from him. They could have talked about it. Different perspectives can also make a big difference. But no. Day pushes Mhok away and Mhok lies to Day… But back to tonight's episode. I was actually done with last week (yeah nope, I know). You can see that they tried to find a highly emotional ending that everyone seems to agree with and can cry into their handkerchiefs. The number of fuck yous I hurled at my laptop today shows me that the trick didn't work on me. It was all so over-emotionalized that it just felt fabricated and fake. And that's so sad, because the show felt so fucking real until episode 10. And now it was a weird cliché-ridden cringe-fest.

Honestly, if I had been dumped like Mhok and then ignored for three years, the time I spend thinking about that person would be really wasted. I'd be so fucking angry (probably not anymore after three years, I just wouldn't care). But Mhok immediately starts flirting. They pick up where they left off, but there's three years and thousands of kilometers between them. Unrealistic for me. And then Mhok just carries on, whispering to Day about what's happening and what's going on and just acting like his boyfriend again, holding his hand, helping him get dressed, showing him where everything is. I was a bit surprised that he didn't feed him. And Day is confused and just smiles. I think as a viewer I was the only person who was angry at the end. There were no bad emotions. Nothing. And that felt so fucking wrong!

And then comes the wedding and talk of second chances and of course Day says no because he's too scared someone will take pity on him. Yeah, fuck man, shit happens. and Mhok can't or won't give up. An emotional chase begins and the bride and groom leave their own wedding for the two of them and I lost faith in everything. And of course the plane is gone and of course they're all checked in because the passport was scanned and of course Mhok turned around and went back and of course he clued Night in and of course they end up doing the same dance they did back then and of course the family watches them get back together. And of course the series ends with a bunch of sugary sweet scenes from "call me mom" to sunset and let's repeat this most beautiful and heartbreaking moment from the past epsiode without any emotional impact. It was so predictable and so, I'm sorry, so bad. I'm so angry! And of course he gets his sight back. After all, what kind of a message would it be if Day remained blind? Is that possible? That a blind protagonist can find happiness and love and lead a successful life? No, it's not possible. He has to be able to see again. He has to become normal again in order to lead a normal life. What a shitty message! Damn!

Sometimes less really is more. Not everything has to be perfect and normal. At least that's the lesson I thought I should learn from this series.

If anyone has any gif requests, my inbox is open, but I don't think I'll be making any on my own. At least not today and not with this anger in my stomach.

[swiftllama]

January Compliments ☀️🔍

[Compliments Masterlist]

Hello everyone and welcome to the first Compliments Post of 2024! Hope the year has started off well for you all, and if not, then I hope this post can at least provide a little bit of joy to your day 🫶

We may be only one month in but the boys have been delivering since the very first day 🙌 So let’s get into it shall we! :-

January 2024

Ian’s 2023 Wrap Up

So to start us off, first day of the year and Mr Sunshine was already tugging at our heartstrings with his wrap up of 2023, and who made his 2023 what it was? Well Anthony of course 🥹

STOP IT! RIGHT NOW! 😩

LIKE WHAT IS THIS??? IM MEANT TO COPE WITH THIS??? HOW???

The fact the WHOLE post is Anthony - from the photos to the caption! EVERY SINGLE PHOTO HAS ANTHONY 😭 Also don’t even get me started on the two unseen photos and the fact they’ve been kept from us till now. How dare 😤 AND the fact the first person he thanked was Anthony! Like yes he’s thanking and appreciating many people with this post but come on now, from the pictures alone it’s clear who made his year. This is just SO SPECIAL! Especially coming from Ian, who isn’t normally a big one for sharing his emotions (I think we’ve seen a change with that recently though), but this is BIG!

Anthony also in return left a sweet comment :-

“proud of you buddy.”

CRYING 😭 They kill me these two, couldn’t even go one day without being sappy to each other - not that I’m complaining. And as much as I would love to just sit here in this gooeyness, we’ve got a lot to get through so I must move on 🥲

LEGEND OF ZELDA RAP (Flashback)

So they reacted to the classic Legend Of Zelda Rap in this Flashback eps and got a few little compliments thrown in :-

-

[discussing the scene of Ian dressed as Link winking at the camera that spawned a viral gif]

Anthony: “That for some reason was a clip that went viral- or a gif that went viral.”

Ian: “Yeah, it’s like horny posters.”

Anthony: “Yeah.”

Ian: “Yeah.”

Anthony: “I see it way too much.”

[shoutout editor Kortney for this 😆]

Ian: “Gotta say, never looked better.”

Anthony: “That’s true.”

Anthony agrees 😏

-

Erin: [asking Ian if he had spicy time in the Link outfit like Anthony said about the Assassin’s Creed outfit in their 2 Truths 1 Lie eps]

Ian: “I did not have spicy time in the Link outfit because that outfit was very tight, there was not much of a range of motion in it.”

Anthony: “Right. Well you could be a pillow princess in that.”

Ian: “I’m not a pillow princess.”

Anthony: “Oh really?”

Ian: “Yeah.”

Anthony: “I’ve heard otherwise.”

[look at each other and Anthony laughs]

Ian: “Oh yeah, cause canonically we had sex for seven years.”

Anthony: [laughs] “In the Food Battle lore.”

Ian: “Yeah. Canonically in Food Battle, we’ve had sex for seven years. You know every crevice of my body.”

Anthony: “Of your anatomy.”

Ian: “Yeah.”

Anthony: “Anywho…”

Ian: “Wow, this went a weird place.”

Anthony: “Back to looking at Link in his prime.”

Ian: “Back to me looking freakin’ HAWT.”

Anthony: “Yeah.”

Just them casually discussing the fact they’ve canonically had sex for 7 years and then Anthony once again agreeing Ian looked hot in the Link outfit… I don’t think I even need to say anything.

-

Anthony: “Oh! And I just want to give a shoutout to myself.”

Ian: “Oh, [sings] shoutout to myself.”

Anthony: “I painstakingly added those fucking stars [in the scene] for some reason. I thought they were so necessary.”

Ian: “Yeah, no, that was sick.”

Ian giving Anthony a little compliment for his hard work 😊

…

Speaking of the stars it was also something Ian brought up again later when they appeared in the video again :-

Ian: “Stars. Stars.”

Anthony: “Oh yeah. Stars. We got ‘em in there.”

Very cute how he wanted to shoutout Anthony’s work again ☺️

-

Erin: “That’s Anthony?! [as Ganondorf]”

Ian: “Yeah.”

Anthony: “Shut up. You knew that was me.”

Erin: “That’s crazy.”

Ian: “You didn’t know that was Anthony?”

Erin: “Where’d your, like, jaw go?”

Ian: “What do you mean? He’s got an epic jaw.”

Ian got so defensive on Anthony’s behalf here, I love it! Reminded me of the moments from Who Meme’d It when Anthony was defending Ian 😌

And that was us for this video!

Moving on…

SOUP!

Gets a big title cause why not!

But yes, soup! So Ian has gotten into making soup this year and on that same Friday we got the Flashback, that evening we were blessed out of nowhere with these stories :-

THE WAY I SCREAMED WHEN I SAW THESE 😩

Like this is the cutest, most domesticated shit ever! They kill me!!!!

And okay yes when that first photo was posted I thought Ian was right then and there cooking it for him, Ian then responded with this :-

Let me live in my fantasies Ian! 😤

But regardless of Mr dashing-my-dreams Hecox, I’m still of the mindset they were hanging out that day and that’s when Ian gave him the container of soup.

Evidence :-

This photo only. That I believe Anthony took 😌

Also I try not to make these posts too shipper-heavy so that everyone may enjoy them if they’re just here for the friendship alone, so I’ll just leave this other little post I made here about some other thoughts I had on this soup situation that isn’t in the friendship realm 🤭 All cool if that’s not for you though!

VidConfessions

So 7 months later Vidcon finally decided to post this little interview they had with them lol. And even with such a short video we still got a few complimentary/cute moments :-

-

So Anthony was being his usual self and finding Ian the funniest person alive as always. There was a couple moments where Ian gave his answers and you just hear Anthony’s laugh in the background 🥰

Q: What are the last three things you Googled?

Ian: “Jared Leto cult…”

He’s a cutie ☺️

…

And it happened again!

Q: What’s the cringest thing you’ve ever done for views?

Ian: “I mean like our whole channel’s cringe.”

Anthony, once again: [laughing in the background]

Love him and how much he loves Ian and his humour 😊

-

This was just one wee last bit I thought was cute :-

Ian: [signing out the video] “This has been Ian from Smosh, that’s right, the channel that is 17 and a half years old that’s doing sketch comedy again with my best friend Anthony.”

Can never resist them calling each other ‘best friend’ so of course had to include it!

Making of Pokémon In Real Life 2024

So they brought back the classic Pokémon In Real Life sketch, and from that obviously we got the BTS. Only a couple little moments from this one but just wanted to include them cause they were silly 🤓

-

Ian: [sneezes] “Sorry. Your hairspray.”

Anthony: “Ohhh… he’s allergic to me [smirks].”

👀 Don’t know what that was about but alrighty, Anthony…

-

Ian: [cuts his finger and there’s a dot of blood]

Anthony: “Oh my god, dude. Are you okay?”

Ian: “No, I’m not okay. Trigger warning gore.”

Anthony: “Do you need someone to suck out the blood?”

Why did this just turn into Saltburn? Don’t know what Anthony was on with the these two moments but I won’t question it 😝 And despite saying ‘someone’, he was definitely offering to suck the blood from Ian’s finger himself 🤭

Pokémon In Real Life 2024 Watch Party

Of course with the sketch and BTS we got a livestream, which gave us some cute and complimentary moments 😊

To kick off this livestream I just wanna point out that they were wearing matching colours with Anthony’s jacket and Ian’s hoodie, plus matching Smosh Pokémon hats which is very cute 😊

-

Ian: [apologising for getting annoyed in the BTS due to the background noise messing up their filming] “Dude, this video. This Pokémon video. I apologise if I looked very angry in the behind the scenes.”

Anthony: [laughs] “You didn’t look that bad. Honestly, it amped up accurately.”

Erin: “The compilation of you getting angry, it was pretty funny.”

Anthony: Yeah, so it was justified. People knew why you were angry.”

Love the reassurance from Anthony here so that Ian isn’t worried about how he came across in the video.

-

[take their hats off]

Ian: “How’s my hair? Is it weird?”

Anthony: “Is mine weird? Yours is fine.”

Ian: “No, I feel like yours is like, yours has like a messy chic to it, you know.”

Them just complimenting each other’s hair - here for it! Also Ian’s added compliment of “messy chic” 😄

-

[playing Pokémon quiz]

I&A: “Jinx.”

Crew: [laughs]

Anthony: [smiles and points to Ian] “Jinx.”

Ian: “That’s our favourite. Favourite Pokémon.”

Funny because it’s both the Pokémon’s name and they said it at the same time 😝 Cute how Ian also got in that that’s their favourite ☺️

-

[complete the quiz]

Anthony: “Dude, 100 percent, bro.”

I&A: [high-five]

Of course always gotta include the highfives 😌

-

After the quiz they go on to play a Pikachu x Sonic crossover. Anthony plays a round and then Ian goes to play but can’t get the controls to work for him so Anthony’s showing him what to do 🥹 I don’t feel the need to include what they said here as it’s just Anthony saying what buttons to push but just wanted to include a little description of what was happening at this moment 😊

-

Ian: [completes the game]

Anthony: “You won the game.” [clapping]

Just another little cute moment I wanted to include of Anthony clapping for Ian 🙂

-

[playing Pokémon Among Us]

Anthony: [playing the game well]

Ian: “Alright, I hate that you’re like kind of eating.” [as Ian kept dying]

A begrudging little compliment from Ian there 😄

-

[signing the livestream off]

Ian: “Happy New Year, hope the holidays were a fun time for you and you had some eggnog and sat by the campfire…”

Anthony: “Roasting chestnuts.”

Ian: “Roasting chestnuts.”

Anthony: “Or chestnut. I’m not making any assumptions.”

Ian: “….What?”

Anthony: “Just if they don’t have more than one chestnut.”

Ian: “Ohh, okay. I don’t know if you could buy a singular chestnut but…”

Anthony: “I think there’s a way.”

Ian: “Go off king.”

Just a silly little one to end on because I wanted to include Ian calling Anthony ‘king’ 🤭

Can I Guess Who Slapped Me?

So the video of Anthony getting slapped finally dropped! And it was everything and more, especially when it came to moments between Ian and Anthony so let’s jump right in :-

-

Right off the bat we had this as the description for Ian…

👀👀👀

Now onto the actual slapping…

-

The moment that got us all was just before Ian slaps him he slowly started caressing Anthony’s face so obviously that had us all going crazy! Including the cast and crew!

Anthony: [after the slap] “Oh. Wow. Uhhh, this person thinks they’re hilarious.” [laughs]

Cast & Crew: [laughing]

Ian: [Trying not to laugh]

Anthony: “Uhhh, who would do that? Who would caress my face and slap me out of nowhere?”

Ian: [boops Anthony’s nose]

Anthony: “Uh, it feels like an Ian move to me… Did you just boop me? Um, that feels like an Ian move.”

Kiana: “That is correct.”

Everyone: [celebrating and applauding]

Anthony: [puts his hands out and Ian high-fives him]

Angela: “Friendship always wins!”

Ian: “Well done. Well done. Good job to you.”

Anthony: [bowing]

Ian: “There we go. There we go. That’s the only one you truly needed to get right.”

Anthony: [laughs]

So true Ian! That was the most important one he needed to get right! And I just want to point out how Ian was only the 3rd person Anthony got right, and of course he knew it was him right away with his cheeky little joke of “this person thinks they’re hilarious” 😝 he knew the second Ian caressed his face that it was him cause they truly just know each other that well ☺️ Live for Angela yelling “Friendship always wins!” after he got it right too! And can we also talk about the totally unnecessary, but very, very cute little nose boop Ian threw in there just cause he wanted to! Obsessed!

-

A little bit later in the video during Duran’s round of slapping Anthony another little moment happened that I just wanted to include cause I thought that it was funny and showed how silly of a mood Ian was in, I think Anthony being blindfolded was playing a part in that and he gained a little extra layer of confidence to just fuck about with Anthony 😆

Anthony: [standing with his butt pushed out waiting to be slapped]

Kiana: “The stance is great. The stance is great.”

Ian: [runs over and pretends to go in to slap Anthony’s butt]

Anthony: “Why’s there wind?”

Cast & Crew: [laugh]

Hehe 🤭

Anyways! That was it for the slapping video but I did also want to include something that came off the back of it and that was…

Bonus

Anthony dedicating a whole Instagram post to Ian slapping him :-

Obessed with this though! The fact he went out of his way to make a post specifically about Ian slapping him over anyone else, plus that caption! ‘only ian would slap me like that’ - truly the cherry on top of it all 😌

Jacksfilms Confesses His Biggest Regret

So they had Jacksfilms on as a guest for Flashback to react to some of his old videos and an old collab of his the boys had been a part of.

-

Jack: [talking about how he moved to LA after he graduated] “…And that’s when I started collaborating with some, then, very big YouTube channels.”

Anthony: [looks at Ian] “Yeah, back then we were big.” [elbows Ian and Ian elbows him back]

Them just being silly 😄 loved the little elbowing of each other too 😊

-

Jack: “I remember I was in college, I was like out hanging with my friends. I just got 50,000 subs on YouTube, baby. And one of my friends just like took the air right out of my tire, or sails, whatever, and was like ‘Uh, yeah, did you know that Smosh has like a million now?’.”

Ian: “Pffft.”

Anthony: [silent laughs] “Noice!” [high-fives Ian] “Noice!”

Again, just more of them being silly. Plus high-five!

-

I should have mentioned at the start of this section that Ian is in a tshirt-dress for this video as a reference to Jack as it’s got tweets of his printed on it. Anyway, as a result his legs are out obviously, and that’s relevant to this next part :-

Anthony: [talking about how there’s always an audience for every kind of content, it’s just about what kind of audience you want to have]

Ian: “That’s true. And you want this audience.” [pointing to show off his legs]

Anthony: “You want this.”

Ian: “You want the audience that accepts this.”

Anthony: “This is what you want. This is the audience that we have. And we are very happy with this audience.”

Ian: “Exactly.”

Anthony: “They’ve been begging for this.”

And we’re more than happy to be the audience for it! 😌 (As is Anthony considering how many times he was checking out Ian’s legs during this video 😉)

Anthony also had this to say about YouTube’s hate for Ian’s attire 😤

-

Jack: [talking about a sponsorship he done with other youtubers to test out a new workout program]

Ian: “Did you get Jaaaacked?”

Anthony: [looks at Ian with a smirk and high-fives him]

Second high-five for this video! Also Anthony just quietly complimenting Ian’s pun 😄

-

Ian: “Do you [Jack] have any regrets? Any videos that you regret making?” [smiling]

Anthony: “You look so happy saying that.” [smiling] “This is happiest I’ve seen you all episode.” [laughs]

Just thought it was cute how Anthony seeing Ian smiling made him smile and laugh 😊

And that was it for another Flashback!

No1 Ian Fan Strikes Again

So Anthony was back at it! The Smosh team was out celebrating one of the crews birthday - Erin posted this to her story. Now I’m sure there were probably multiple photos and videos taken this night but what was the only thing Anthony shared from it? That’s right! Ian of course!

He’s obsessed with that boy and I love it! 😌

Ian also reshared and replied to Anthony’s story which you can find here

Making Of “MrBeast Copycats Have Gone Too Far”

So the BTS of the MrBeast Copycats Have Gone Too Far sketch offered us a few little moments :-

-

So this seemed to be a very high-five, hand-hold heavy BTS. Think they were just in one of those moods where they want any excuse to touch each other 🤭😉

[Finishing off their little video introduction]

Anthony: [goes in to high-five Ian and grips his hand]

Ian: [high-fives Anthony back and also grips his hand in response]

I&A: [still holding each other’s hands] “Let’s go shoot this shit!”

-

Ian: [messing up his line] “I’m having a trouble! I’m having a trouble…” [facepalms]

Shayne: “That’s so funny. ‘I’m having a trouble’.”

Anthony and Courtney: [laughing]

Anthony: [to Ian] “Are you having a trouble?” [puts hand on Ian’s shoulder]

Ian: “I’m having a trouble. Words.”

Anthony: [laughs]

I know they were (lovingly) poking fun at Ian here, but the wee glimpse of the shoulder touch from Anthony to Ian is what got me ☺️

-

I&A: [In character but joking around]

Ian: “There’s a twist. There’s a twist.” [puts hand out to Anthony] “There’s a twist.”

Anthony: “There’s a twist.” [takes Ian’s hand and grips it]

I&A: [still holding hands whilst lightly pushing/tapping each other and repeating “there’s a twist”. They then start scissoring their fingers together, before gripping each other’s fingers and pulling the other in closer to them whilst now repeating “getting twisted” and manically laughing]

Well… that was… something… 👀

Told you they were just looking for any excuse to touch each other. But hey, wouldn’t be a Smosh BTS if Ian and Anthony weren’t flirting with each other 😜

-

And to finish off this high-five heavy BTS, I’ll leave you with this :-

Ian: [talking about how Anthony injured himself by dropping a laptop on his foot and how he should take an Advil but Anthony doesn’t take Advil so he doesn’t know if it’ll help]

Anthony: “I don’t care about the pain, I just want the throbbing to stop.”

Ian: “He doesn’t like throbbing.”

Anthony: “I don’t like throbbing. I like pulsating.”

Ian: [laughs] “I hate both of those words.”

Anthony: [laughs] “Yeah, usually I say throbbing or pulsating member…”

Ian: [acting disgusted]

Anthony: “Speaking of members thank you so much being a Smoshtastic or Smosh Royalty member!”

Ian: “Yeah! Thanks for being our throbbing members.” [laughs]

Anthony: “Our pulsating members.”

Ian: “Yeahhh, throbbing members.”

I&A: [high-five]

Um… thanks boys, I guess… happy to be a throbbing and pulsating member… 🥴🤦‍♀️ They high-fived so I had to include it, don’t blame me for what they said! 😩

-

And on that’s note that brings us to the end of January! Hope you all enjoyed reading - I’d say it was a very good start to the year in terms of content, and the boys very much delivered in terms of complimentary moments so can’t complain 😌

Thank you all again for reading and I shall see you next time! 💖

[kaleldobrev]

Spitting Image

Pairing: Dean Winchester x Fem!Reader

Summary: You think Dean looks like one of your favorite characters. Dean on the other hand...doesn’t see the resemblance.

Word Count: 2.8k

Warnings: Cursing (5x), Insanely minor spoilers for S3 The Boys

Authors Note: I’m sure there’s someone that has done this already, but I wanted to write this because I believe Dean would probably be one of the biggest The Boys fans there ever was | I also just really love Soldier Boy and just need S4 | This is my first time using gifs throughout the fic so let me know if that’s something you like. I mainly did it so if you haven’t seen the show you know what scenes I’m referring to. But you don’t have to watch the show in order to read this | If you liked this, don’t forget to like & reblog. I really appreciate it! Feedback is always welcome ♡

When you and Dean first met three years ago, the two of you instantly clicked. It was a strange feeling for Dean at first, because the last time he had felt this kind of instant connection to someone, they turned out to be a siren; and he wasn’t about to fall for that again. Thankfully, because you too were a hunter, you had let him subject you to all the usual tests to prove that you weren’t some kind of monster. Silver, holy water, bearing your non-vampire teeth, and even showing off your anti-possession tattoo; the whole nine yards. Dean subjected himself to the same kind of tests as well, to prove to you that he was not a monster either. You had told him that he didn’t have to, that you believed him when he said that he wasn’t some kind of monster, but he did so anyway, without complaint.

Not only did the two of you share a passion for classic rock, Clint Eastwood movies, bacon cheeseburgers, and classic cars, you also shared a love of a tv show that barely anyone he knew, or you watched: The Boys. One of you, neither of you could really remember which of you had first mentioned it, but as soon as one of you did, it was like a light bulb went off. “Holy shit! You watch it too?” You had said. Not soon after that conversation, the two of you had started dating, which caused you to jokingly ask Dean, “Was me liking The Boys the final test if you were going to date me or not Winchester?” He remembered laughing at your comment. “No, I wanted to date you the moment I laid my eyes on you but, you liking the show did give you bonus points.”

Week One. Today was the day; the first three episodes of The Boys was going to be available to watch today, and you honestly couldn’t be more excited. “This is what I hate about tv shows now. One season is like five episodes, and then when it’s over, you have to wait another two or three years for the next season.” Dean started to complain, but you couldn’t help but agree with him. “Back in my day, you only had to wait like four or six months for the new season. Or, if it was a cartoon, the next week.” Dean continued. His, ‘back in my day’ comments only made you chuckle as you were only a few years younger than he was.

“Well, at least we can enjoy three episodes tonight, and then one each week for the next couple of weeks.” You said, trying to add some kind of positivity to the situation. Once you walked into the bedroom you shut the door behind you and started relying the list of quote-on-quote supplies that you needed for premiere night. “Okay, I got the popcorn, you got the beers. We’re both in our comfy lounging clothes. Is there anything else I’m missing?” You asked, making your way to yours and Dean’s shared bed. Dean was already sitting in bed with the remote in his hand, where he had already placed a beer on each nightstand – one for you and one for him.

As you stood at the side of the bed, Dean turned to look over at you with a small smirk on his lips. “Just for you to bring that ass over here with the popcorn.” Dean winked.

“You don’t have to ask me twice.” You replied, giving him a wink back before sitting next to him in bed; both of you sitting with your legs crossed. You placed the popcorn bowl in the middle so the two of you would be able to have easy access. Grabbing the remote that Dean had placed in front of you, you hovered your finger on the play button. “Ready?”

“I’m ready when you are Beautiful.” Dean said – you had never pressed the play button quicker your entire life.

As the two of you were watching the show, there was one scene in particular where you couldn’t help but raise a brow. Without any kind of warning to Dean, you pressed the pause button on a scene that showed a black and white photo of Soldier Boy and a group color photo of Payback. You did a double take just then, looking at the screen and looking at Dean. You couldn’t help but think that Dean looked like a spitting image of the actor that was playing Soldier Boy. After looking at Dean for a second time, he couldn’t help but look at you with a slightly confused, yet annoyed expression on his face. “Y/N, why’d you pause it?” He asked.

“You’re not…you’re not seeing this?” You asked, sounding slightly baffled.

“See what Sweetheart?” He voice sounding a bit more confused now.

You pointed at the screen, as if it should be obvious what he should be looking at. “You look exactly like Soldier Boy.”

Dean turned from looking at you to looking at the screen, eyeing the black and white picture of the man before him. He squinted his eyes, and unsquinted them just as quickly before looking back at you again. “What?”

With an annoyed huff, you got up from your spot on the bed and walked over to the screen so you can point at the picture. “You don’t see it?!” You questioned, amazed that Dean could not see the clear resemblance between him and the actor.

With a sigh, Dean got up from his spot; doing his best to humor you in the moment even though he knew for a fact that there was no way he remotely looked like the character. Getting up close to the screen he stared for a moment, doing his best to focus on the picture. “Nope. I don’t see it. I mean, the dude has a mask on.”

“Dean, that smile, clearly yours. And plus, I think I’ve seen you with a mask on plenty of times to know what you look like with a mask on.” You said. “Two words: Zorro roleplays.”

“I…” As soon as you said that, he looked back at the screen again. “No. I still don’t see it.”

“I honestly don’t know how you’re not seeing it! It’s like looking into a mirror!” Your frustration was starting to show in your voice. You walked back over to the bed and sat back down, Dean following your lead.

“I’m sorry Sweetheart. I’m just not seeing it.” Dean said. “Can we finish watching? We got two more episodes to watch tonight. And we’ve waited like a year and a half for this season.”

“Fine, fine…Soldier Boy.” You whispered the last two words, hoping that Dean didn’t hear you.

Dean’s head snapped to look in your direction. “What?”

“What?” You asked, almost too innocently for his liking.

“Did you…did you just call me Soldier Boy?” The way he asked, you knew for a fact that he had heard you.

You hesitated to answer for a moment. “No…”

Watching episode three was a struggle for you. It was so hard not to picture Dean now in the Soldier Boy scenes because of how much he looked and sounded so much like the actor playing him. “Fuck, you would look so good in that suit.” You whispered, barely audible as you watched a flashback scene taking place about what happened with Soldier Boy and his team when they were in Nicaragua with Grace Mallory.

“Say something Sweetheart?” Dean asked. You could see in your peripheral that Dean had his face looking toward you instead of having his eyes on the screen like you.

“Nope.” You turned to face him. “Why?”

“I thought…” Dean thought for a moment whether or not he was going to comment on what he thought he heard you say. Fuck, you would look so good in that suit. But decided that it would be best to play dumb for now; he didn’t want to bring up the weird argument you guys had during episode one. “Nevermind.”

Week Two. The next week rolled around, and it was time for episode four. “I can’t believe that the season is already halfway over.” You commented.

“Don’t know why they can’t do thirteen episodes like a normal show. None of this eight episodes crap.” Dean complained, doing his best to try and set the show up like you had showed him to do so many times before.

“Alright. As usual, I brought the popcorn, you got the beers, and we’re both in our comfy clothes. Anything else I’m missing?” You walked over to the bed, holding the giant bowl of extra buttered popcorn that Dean had requested.

“You sitting next to me.” Dean winked. “Come bring those soon to be insanely buttered fingers over here.” His comment made you laugh. “What’s so funny Gorgeous?”

You sat on the bed, taking your place next to your boyfriend, and looked at him with absolute awe. “You.” Was all you said before kissing him.

“Oh come on!” You said, pressing the pause button. “He even sounds like you when you sing!”

“What? That sounds nothing like me!” Dean exclaimed.

“Yes, it does. That’s exactly what you sound like when you sing.” You argued back.

“I-I’m not that bad. That guy –” Dean pointed the screen, “that guy sucks!”

“I’ve heard you sing Rapture by Blondie countless times. You sound exactly like that.” Although you had only known Dean for a short amount of time – three years to be exact – you have heard this man sing all the time. More often than you would have thought for someone like him. Between the long car rides, hearing him randomly sing when he’s in the shower or working on Baby; even at karaoke night down at the local bar when he’s had a few too many, you were far too familiar with his singing voice. Your boyfriend couldn’t really sing, but he enjoyed it. He wasn’t horrible, but he wasn’t necessarily the best either.

“I don’t sound like that! That guy right there? Clearly tone deaf.” Dean couldn’t believe what he was hearing right now. He knew for a fact that he wasn’t the best singer; he didn’t sing because he was good, he sang because he enjoyed it. “Are you calling me tone deaf?”

“What? No. Don’t be ridiculous. I’m just saying, I honestly cannot understand how you don’t see or hear that you sound exactly like this guy.” In that moment, you felt an idea hit you. Pointing your finger at Dean you said, “You know what? I’m getting Sam. He’ll agree with me!” Getting out of bed you started making your way toward the door; Dean following close behind you. “Sammy!” You called out once opening the door.

“Y/N! No! We’re not getting Sam involved.” Dean said, a hint of frustration and slight annoyance in his voice.

You stopped dead in the middle of the hallway, turning around to face Dean who you almost collided with. “Cause you know I’m right!”

“What? No! I didn’t say that!” He pinched the bridge of his nose; there was a small part of him that didn’t believe that he was having this kind of quote-on- quote argument with you.

“Sammy!” You called again, practically marching your way down the hallway.

Sam came out of his room, which was pitch black; the only hint of light was coming from the flashing lights of the tv in his room. “Y/N? Everything okay?” Sam asked, partially stepping out of his bedroom.

“Okay. Me and Dean need a debate settled.” You began. “There’s this character on The Boys called Solider Boy and I honestly think he a spitting image of Dean. Even sounds like him. But Dean, can’t see it or hear it.”

“I think she’s wrong. Clearly.” Dean chimed in.

Sam looked at the two of you, almost in disbelief. He didn’t know what he was really expecting to be honest, you and Dean had gotten into all sorts of debates since you two have known each other; some of them more ridiculous than the previous one. In some ways, it almost reminded him of some of the debates him and Dean would get into. They were slightly childish, but also weirdly passionate when it came to their side of the argument. “Alright.” Sam rubbed his face. “Show me what you’re talking about.”

Back in yours and Dean’s room you had episodes three and four pulled up: the flashback scene that had quite a bit of Soldier Boy lines, and episode four where he sang Rapture. After the three of you watched both parts – Dean rolling his eyes 90% of the time; you turned to Sam waiting to hear him hopefully agreeing with you. “I mean…” Sam looked at the scene that you were paused on and looked at Dean and then back at the screen. “Kinda. Like, if you squint.” Sam finally said.

“Ha! I win!” You slapped the sides of your legs as Dean said that. His reaction about what you were expecting.

“No! No! He said if you squint! That’s different than a flat-out no.” You argued.

Week Six. It had been a couple of weeks since you and Dean had your weird argument – more like debate – about whether or not he did in fact look like the actor who played Soldier Boy. You were a firm believer that he in fact did, which you thought was a compliment because you had thought that the guy playing him was probably just as attractive as Dean was. But Dean on the other hand, was of the opinion that he did not look or sound remotely like the guy and could not believe that you could even compare the two. “It’s like comparing apples to rifles.” Dean had told you. “Dean, that doesn’t even make any sense.” You replied. “Exactly my point.” He said.

After the first couple of episodes, you had decided that it was best to not bring up the debate again, knowing that the two of you would never agree. It wasn’t the end of the world of course, but there was a part of you that still could not believe that Dean couldn’t see it. Even Sam; who you really thought was going to agree with you, really didn’t. You had thought that if anyone would agree with you, it would be him.

You were currently in the Bunker kitchen with your back leaning against the counter waiting for the popcorn to be done. You were doing your usual weekly routine where you were the one that made the popcorn and Dean was the one that gathered the beers for the two of you. As you were watching the seconds count down on the microwave you heard heavy boot steps coming into the kitchen; full well knowing that it was Dean. You had been living with the man long enough to know exactly what his footsteps had sounded like, and you were also aware that you and Dean had the Bunker all to yourselves tonight. What made it slightly strange though, is that his boots didn’t sound like the ones that he normally wore. “I was thinking, after we finish the finale tonight, we could go for a nice long walk.” You said as the microwave beeped. Taking the popcorn out of the microwave you turned to see Dean; your jaw dropping. “Son of a bitch. Where did you…How did you…” In front of you, Dean was in full Soldier Boy costume – minus the mask; you were impressed that he even had the shield.

“Uh, Charlie.” He almost seemed embarrassed. “I uh, I called her up a few weeks ago.” He walked into the kitchen more so he was now on the other side of the counter that you were currently behind.

“You…you asked Charlie to get you a…Soldier Boy costume…?” For one of the first times in your life you were utterly speechless. You and Dean had roleplayed before and have seen each other in some…interesting costumes, but for you, this took the cake, especially since you knew Dean thought he looked nothing like the man. You wondered what had changed his mind, or even if he did change his mind, and was just doing this to appease you.

Dean let out a small, slightly embarrassed chuckle. “Yeah.” He put the shield down on the counter. “I asked her to get it for me. Mainly…Mainly for you.” He mumbled the last couple of words, but they were still loud enough for you to hear. Your face lit up a bit at his comment. Even though he really disagreed with you that he looked nothing like the man, that didn’t mean he couldn’t indulge you in your fantasy; considering you have done that plenty of times for him, and well…he did have to agree with you on one thing: he did look pretty good in the costume.

“Well, I uh…” You walked around the counter and stood in front of Dean, placing your hand on his chest. “I’m definitely gonna have to send her a fruit basket cause…fuck.” You wrapped your arms around his neck, and he wrapped his arms around your waist. “You wouldn’t…You wouldn’t want to roleplay would you?”

Dean smirked, clicking his tongue. “Would I have to wear the costume the whole time?”

“Only for a bit.” You smiled.

[mrghostrat]

I remember you posting a blurred gif of the outline of atws, so if you don't mind me asking, how do you do that? Like, get the outline onto paper and not just scenes in your head. That's something I've always struggled with, because it's hard to write without an outline, but hard to do the outline when I don't have a first draft? I'm not sure how to explain it so I hope this makes any sense at all lmao

ahh so fair! some people just don't operate that way and you gotta do what's best for your brain. no point exhausting all your energy trying to squeeze into a "standard writing process" that'll make writing even more difficult for yourself.

under the cut, i'm going to explain my writing process every step of the way, using scenes of ATWS. i hope it helps in some way? i don't think it's anything special, but this is just how i write to appease my adhd.

first, this might help: i once used storyplanner.com when i didn't know how to even start a story and i loved it. it's a great tool that can hold your hand every step of the way, or just prompt you to think on your own. there's over 20 planners that ask different questions like "what's your character's major flaw?" "what's the inciting incident?" "what outside elements hinder the character?" etc that will present you with a complete story structure when you're done with it.

ok, now, how i write:

as for the post in reference, that's the 2nd stage of my writing process. i get carried away with tangents and hone in on details, so i plan in dot points to try and force myself to keep it simple and stay zoomed out.

i just write what happens in chronological order, and if i have an idea for a later scene (or something that i just want to happen, but don't know when/where/how), i note that in a separate document that i can refer to while i plan. this also allows me to gloss over vague sections to keep my writing flow going.

stage 1:

i've started using Notion's "toggle list" feature to minimise the less important parts of a scene and keep myself focused on the overarching plot during this stage. this is what the first point looks like:

i go beat by beat, essentially amounting to an elevator pitch for each stage of my story. "crowley and aziraphale are streamer roommates" + "people start to notice they each live with someone and the speculation starts" + "crowley and aziraphale interact on twitch" + "they attend the edinburgh meetup" etc.

i finish a story before i move on from this stage. i won't start writing something in earnest until i know how it ends.

stage 2:

this is what you saw in my gif, and why that page was so long. that's every scene i'm going to write in the story.

sometimes i jump straight from stage 1 to writing, but ATWS required a lot more figuring out before i started any kind of prose. here i'm basically noting down the details of what each scene is, the brunt of what's happening. this is when i have to figure out those "vague sections" i glossed over earlier.

it's still just intended to be a rough outline so i know where the characters are and what's moving their relationship along. most of these dot points are short because i've already thought about them a thousand times, and may have more details noted down in a different document.

meanwhile some of them i'm planning out the scene as i'm dotting it, making not of dialogue that i want to include.

stage 3: my bracket method

i only use this stage when i'm struggling to write and need to baby step into it. this is my "bracket method" in which i write the scene without, like... caring? some people may consider this "double handling" which may drive you mad, but it's the most helpful thing i've ever done for my process.

i switch tenses, i write how i chat (no capitals etc) and just word vomit the scene without focusing on prose. ATWS came quite easily at first, and i didn't need to use stage 3 until i got to chapter 4 and hadn't written in a few days.

stage 4:

this is writing the actual prose, but i wanted to include it so you can see the differences, to help better understand my notes/planning/outlining stages:

and this is what a scene looks like with stage three bridging the gap:

[bronx-bomber87]

Happy Monday Lovely fandom. Not a ton in these episodes for them. Gonna combine these two. Thank you for idea D ❤️ These are my least fav of the season. Not gonna lie whenever I reach the Simone eps in a rewatch I skip around her stuff LOL Never resonated with me. So it’s funny the first ep is called Simone and I won’t really be covering her much at all. Probably be a shorter one with some crumbs. Let’s get going though shall we?

4x19 Simone/4x20 Enervo

We start off with an actual bang. John and Lucy respond to a suspicious activity call. It's near a power station in Griffith Park. They find a bomb and get out just in time but not before they’re thrown to the ground by the blast. They get thrown pretty damn far and are fairly banged up. It's insane how much damage they took even clearing the building.

Tim shows up to the scene and does a worried husband look I love. Checking in on her by doing a once over once he makes it to them. Does a silent check in as he reports it’ll take 12 hours to fix the damaged power station. The silent check in is everything. Once again it’s the little things I cherish especially in low content episodes. It's subtle but noticeable once you know it's there. Trying to contain his concern with her all banged up. It’s ok love your wifey is fine hehe

I love these two shots for quite a few reasons. One you know I love the tall/smol shots. I wish I could put into words why I love it so very much. It’s just aesthetically pleasing is one of the reasons I suppose. All I know is I’m a sucker for it. Second how in-sync they are in their movements and how they mirror one another in the second one.

Third the lack of personal space. Especially in that first gif. Theme of this season I adore so much. Always that gravitational pull of theirs. Lastly look at them. They’re gorgeous just standing next to one another. Also it is unfair Lucy is covered in dirt and soot and looks amazing still. Not fair haha

Oh right there’s a SL too LOL Not me just gawking at them haha The feds show up because this is a terrorist attack. They ask Nolan and Lucy about what they remember about the bomb. Nolan of course is no help. Smh Lucy is able to describe little better for them. FBI says they’re taking over from here. Grey fights it since John and Lucy were almost killed discovering the bomb. Garza concedes and they’re able to work together on this one.

We rejoin our ship headed towards National Guard Armory. They’ve deduced this guys real target was this. Reason he shut down the power was to gain access inside there. They’re en-route to catch him. They find out he’s already on the move and they’ve gotta catch him. Which leads us to this car chase. First off let’s note Lucy getting to drive in this intense moment. It is more common these days for them. I just love seeing Tim trust her so implicitly nowadays. That this is new normal for them. *heart clutch*

Control freak in him has eased up quite a bit with her at least. Maybe not with anyone else LOL Once again it's the little things to love. The spurts of growth. They make me happy. Anyways dude stole a friggin Humvee so taking him down will not be easy. Nolan says they need to stop this guy. No shit John...What do you think the purpose of this chase is? To have fun at a high speeds in a shop for kicks?

Sometimes the words out of his mouth floor me..and not in a good way. Tim is using his military experience in this moment. (Yum) Explains why that’s not going to be easy. He’s basically encased himself in a mini tank. Their usual pit maneuver isn’t going to work on this guy. Nolan offering up another solution. I adore the silent communication and the look. That automatic instinct to check in with each other. I'll never be over it. I love watching them in the field so very much. Just a well oiled machine. Tim is considering Nolan’s suggestion then checking in with wifey before executing it. Love it.

Tim explains their plan to Nolan while Lucy listens in. Tim advices they both hit the doors. Tells them it has to be at the same time though. To avoid the wheels at all costs. Lucy needing to know the why of course. Asks why they can’t hit the tires? Tim explains they’ll die and be a cautionary tale for future rookies LOL Gotta love Lucy questioning why they can't in the middle of a high speed chase. I'm sure she wasn't expecting that to be his answer ha.

Her comment about her mom cracks me up. Anything to prove to her mother she’s wrong and she is right about being a cop. Her first thought not being she’ll die. No it’ll be about her mother being right about her career choice. Lmao Oh Lucy Chen I love you. Also I relate to this train of thought all too well sadly. I do love her saying they’ll be disgraced together. Be more married please.

Tim doesn’t even fight her on this thought. Lucy basically saying if I’m going down you’re coming with. Tim isn’t fighting her at all. His silence is saying lead the way. They’re in this together and I love that so very much. Being a literal ride or die right now in this moment.

I love me some crumbs in a low content ep. Also only they could banter during a high pressure situation and still get the job done. I love them so much. They are successful but find out the driver isn’t their guy but a decoy. Wah Wah.

They regroup at the station after their chase. Nolan asking Lucy if she got any sleep? She then calls out Tim for getting some. Not only does she call him out but nicknames him 'Sleeping beauty.' Looking directly at him the entire time. Making sure he know she is talking about him and only him. All aboard the flirt train Nolan is an unwilling participant in the matter haha

Such blatant flirty flirts. Tim fires back a sassy reply to her jab. Just openly flirting and doing heart eyes out in the open. Ain’t no thang this season lol Shoots back not to be jealous he was allowed to sleep and she hasn’t. Lucy’s reaction is the best. That fond exasperation they’ve had all season long. So used to her husband antics at this point but has to let him know she’s annoyed at him. Damnit I love them sfm.

They end up finding his base of operations. Lucy of course breaking the case. Cause she’s brilliant finds a word he’s written down by doing an etching off a wall he used. ‘Enervo’ Garza telling them it means 'To deprive of power.' John asks Tim what the military’s first target is? I love watching Tim flex his military background again. It’s sexy af. Seriously gets me hot and bothered *fans self* Tim and Lucy cracking this case right open. You’re welcome everyone haha That’s it for this one. Low content one since it was meant to launch rookie feds. Next one has even less so this is why we’re combining them.

~~~

Side notes-Non Chenford

I do love when Nyla and Angela work together. Two bad ass woman just doing their jobs like confident BAMFS.

4x20 Enervo.

We find out he’s rented U-Haul’s and it’s going to take out the biggest roads with them. Crippling the city and killing thousands. They can't get a warrant right away to track them so everyone is in on the hunt. As always I love watching them in action in the field. That second gif their cop eyes have been activated. You can see them combing the street together. They’re so in-sync as they search the streets for one of the five U-Haul’s. I could go on and on about how much I love their work dynamic I really could. But I'll stop there ha

The trucks are divided up into states. Cause well that’s U-haul haha if you’ve ever driven one you’d know. Always got graphics or other states on them. One has already exploded unfortunately so they're down to 4 trucks that need to be found. Lucy and Tim spot ‘Florida’ and are in pursuit of it. I love how calm they look. They’re chasing down a bomb and look determined af. Like I said before well oiled machine. The gifs above represent that. They are poetry in motion in the field. What made 5x22 battle scene so epic. Was that on steroids ha

That’s kinda it for them in this one. I can add this last lovely gif of them in the field. Seeing how they move in motion together. It is impressive to see how in-sync they always are. Shared brain thing I love so much. I’m sorry there isn’t more. I mean it’s not my fault but I’m still sorry LOL

We shouldn’t hit this again. Even the light one in S5 is really good and would fill a review well so this will be the last scant ep for them. Probably won’t combine them again ha

~~~

Side notes-non chenford

Smitty reporting in he got ‘Utah’ Grey being ecstatic and saying he took back every negative thing ever said about him. Poor Smitty is all sad ‘You’ve said negative things about me?’ LMAO

Thank you as always for those who like, comment and reblog these reviews. You’re all amazing and I appreciate you more than you’ll ever know. Shall see you all in 4x21 :)

[reinahwanggg]

Let's Go to Paris • Jaeyun Sim

•a/n tell a friend to tell a friend; reinahwanggg's baaaaaaaack! and i'm more "delusional" than ever. here's a "scenario" i was thinking of all day. i'm just a girl in love, sue me. ALSO, CREDIT TO ALL OF THE OWNERS OF THE GIFS I WILL NOW USE.

•synopsis it's the holidays, you and your husband never went on your honeymoon, and if another parent calls your phone one more time you just might SCREAM! so, to get away from the hustle and bustle of in-laws and work calls, you book a flight for you two to go to paris.

•pairing non-idol!jake sim x fem!reader

•warnings this is basically a self insert. heavily self indulgent even, mentions of food/cooking that’s all the warnings i shall give.

•genre established relationship, husband!jake, teacher!reader, holiday!au, fluff, idk some scenes are funny in my head

•word count 2.1K words

“A-alright Ms. Thompson. Yes ma’am. Yes ma’am. I will. Yes ma’am. You do the same. Okay ma’am. Bye.” You hang up the phone and sit inside the extra room you and your husband created into a studio, letting out a huge and heavy sigh.

You rest your phone down, bring your hands to your hair, and rest it on your work desk with a thunk that reverberates through the entire apartment. Your husband turns off the stove that was currently cooking you guys dinner, and walks over to the studio room with worry on his face.

He pats his hands on his apron, and adjusts his towel on his shoulder once he reaches to the door. Then he pushes it open to see you sitting there with your head down; leg bouncing up and down subconsciously. He smiles sadly at your state, and clears his throat to let you know he’s by the door.

“Another parent?” Jake, your husband of almost two years, asks inquisitively.

“The fifth one today. I’m just about ready to put my phone on, do not disturb and call it a day, but I’m waiting on a call from mom.” You reply, lifting your head to look at him from behind you.

You do a once over, then you turn your chair around to soak in his appearance. Ivory colored dress shirt with the sleeves pushed up to his elbows. Forest green apron over his work clothes. Hands folded in front of him in a way that emphasizes his biceps. You slowly drag your eyes back up to his, and you blink in surprise to see him blushing under your strong gaze.

“It’s best if you don’t put it on DND my love. If she can’t get to you, then she’ll be calling me. We both know I’m the worst person to call after 6pm, because my phone is on silent since the most important person to me is already where I can see her.” Jake replies, and you look away to hide your growing smile.

“Besides, I don’t see why you’re so against the parents calling you. You’ve been keeping in contact with them all semester.” He continues, pushing himself off of the doorframe to walk behind you and massage your shoulders.

You melt in his touch, mind slowly losing the words you had on the tip of your tongue, and you just relax at his ministrations. Once he stops for a few seconds to let you talk, you do.

“I kept in contact with them because they trusted me with their kids every single weekday for the past three or so months. I’m glad they’re happy with their child’s performance this semester, but for me to be getting calls left and right since yesterday is just absurd. Like, come on man. We’re on break for crying out loud.” You start to rant, slouching in the chair as he continues to massage your shoulders.

He lets you talk about how you feel, and you gladly take up his offer as you spill it all out to him. As much as you loved your students, you also wanted a break from anything work related. All this school and grades talk from the parents aren’t helping you in that area.

Jake lets you blow off some steam, and when he knows you’re done, he leans over you to open up your laptop for you. He then plants a kiss on your forehead, then your cheeks, then your nose. You turn back to look at him as you giggle in joy. Then he pecks your lips. Once, twice, three times. Again and again he dives in and claims your lips. Once you’re smiling so wide that you can’t peck his lips any longer (for now), he smiles brightly back at you, resting your foreheads together for a few seconds.

“Now that you’ve talked it all out, how about you shop for some stuff, and I’ll call you to let you know when dinner’s ready. Does that sound good?” He asks, looking down at you once he moves his forehead away from yours and stands up to look at the love of his life.

“That sounds great. We’ll talk a bit more once the food’s done?”

“Of course. I’ll always listen to you.”

“As will I, Jake. As will I.”

“Babe?!” is what pulls Jake out of his cooking induced headspace, and he turns off the stove once more to go to his wife.

“Yes my love?” He replies once he reaches the door, and he shakes his head with a smile on his face once he notices that you’re very immersed in whatever you’re doing on the laptop.

“Yes or no?” you ask, and the question causes him to stiffen for a few moments, before he opens his mouth and just answers,

“Yes.” a small smile on his face once he sees you nod your head at his confirmation.

“Alright, cool. Thank you my darling.” You say in gratitude.

“Anything for you my love.” He replies.

Jake walks back to the kitchen to continue with his dinner, mind going back into his cooking headspace, and the short interaction is forgotten by the time he finishes the meal and calls you to the table.

The food is graced, the table is plated and the steam from the food dances around the air once you two sit down, and before you can pick up your utensils to eat, your phone rings off. You apologize to your husband for the disturbance and answer the phone at the table, listening to your mom and whatever it was that she needed to tell you so desperately.

You hang up the phone with a promise to check in more often, and you finally put your phone on DND, resting it down on the table and picking up your utensils to eat. Jake tells you about his day at work, and you listen to him speak without making any noise, just like he did to you earlier. He then tells you how his boss reminded him of his untouched vacation time, and like a light bulb being turned on, he remembers the conversation from earlier.

He lets you talk after he gets his day out of the way, and when you're done (and the food’s been devoured) he asks you about it.

“You’re gonna tell me what I agreed to, or am I gonna be kept out of the dark until it happens?” He asks as he’s drying the dishes you hand to him.

“Oh yeah! While I was shopping, I got an email from the airline we usually use that told me I had enough points to get a select few flights for really cheap. I mean, obviously I had to grab it. We both need a little break, and it’s been a while since we went away; just the two of us.” You rambled on, completely missing the way Jake’s eyes bulged out of his head in shock once he realizes he basically agreed to you two going on a little vacation with little to no planning.

“You what?” is all he could force himself to ask.

“I booked us a flight! Jake, let’s go to Paris!” You reply enthusiastically, eyes shining as you turn to him with a bright smile on your face that makes it hard to say no to.

“We’re not going to Paris.” He sternly implies, flinching once he sees you deflate.

“Why not? You need a break from your job. Everyone knows if I get another call from a parent I’m gonna get off of this piece of land one way or the other.” You inquire.

“It’s three days before the holidays for one. Quite frankly the busiest time of the year for the traveling business. Getting a cheap ticket from our regular airline right around their busiest time seems a bit suspicious. We also have to plan where to sleep, what we’re gonna see when we get there, how long we’re staying there. All of this has to be taken into consideration, love.”

“It’s something we can discuss together. And besides, I may be a bit drifty, but I sure as heck ain’t ditzy. I checked the prices, and the travel time. I even emailed them to make sure it wasn’t a scam before I asked you earlier. The prices were so low even I couldn’t believe it, and I was the one shopping. And besides, it’s after the holidays. We’ll be gone and back before you know it. So, please? Can we go?” You lay out to him, and you can see that he’s genuinely contemplating it once he rests his towel down and gives you his undivided attention.

He stands there for a couple moments, looking at you as you look at him. Then he sighs heavily. You totally have this trip in the bag! Time to pack your bags.

“We’re not going to Paris, and that’s final.”

“I can’t believe we’re going to PARIS!” You giddily exclaim once Jake parks the car to the airport.

“Neither can I.” Jake deadpans, and puts his hands up in surrender when you glare at him.

“Hey! Think of it this way, we’re finally going on the honeymoon we deserve.” You try to reason, but that seems to upset him further.

“We both know that we’d rather mop the bottom of the ocean than to go anywhere other than our predetermined spot for our honeymoon. I will much rather refer to it as our alone time.” Jake snarkily follows up.

“Okay fine. I’m sorry for booking a trip for the both of us, and not properly consulting you about it. I should’ve asked, not only because we’re husband and wife, but because it was your money in the first place, and your opinion on the matter weighs just as much as mine.” You place your hand in his, and lean on his arm as you blink your pretty lashes at him.

Jake rolls his eyes with a smile on his face and places a soft kiss on your lips, a reply to your apology. He pulls the suitcase from you and accepts your apology verbally. Then, both of you head into the airport; ready to get away from it all. Even if it’s only for a short while.

You lay skin to skin with your lover as you drift to and from dreamland. Your chest rises and falls in time with Jake’s as you caress his face gently. Your heart is filled once you feel the grip on your waist tighten, and you look away from your hand to his eyes to see a huge smile already on Jake’s face.

“The love I have for you pumps with every beat of my heart. And I will continue to love you as long as my heart continues to beat within my chest.” Jake says after a few moments, hand around your waist skimming up your body to wipe the tears from your eyes.

“The sun that rises on the horizon can help paint a million portraits of the sky to come. The clouds that scatter in the air can assist in creating a hundred masterpieces once the sun ends its shift. None of that can even step a foot to the beauty you bring along with you everywhere you go.” He continues, kissing the crown of your head at the end of the last sentence.

“The love you give me reminds me of cafes on a spring day; a warmth so rare, yet so inviting that when you stray too far from it, you long for more. I long to stay by your side forevermore. As the sun paints the sky orange, then red, then yellow, then pink, I want to be beside you to see it all.” Jake finishes.

You rub his cheek one more time before your lips crash into his. Your hands rub his nape in a gentleness that contrasts greatly from the passion and fervor. Your lips move back and his lips chase, capturing it again and again. Loving you again and again. You continue to tangle yourselves up within each other, lost within each other once more.

BONUS

“I can’t believe they were out of croissants. This is like … the third cafe to tell us this. Should I just give up on my dreams of eating a croissant on a winter day in Paris?” You ask Jake, who’s taking a video of you because he saw how joyful you looked in the snow earlier.

“Let’s try two more cafes before you give up, my love.” Jake advises, and snaps a picture of you unconsciously pouting in dismal.

“You have to buy me three croissants if we find some.” You bargain.

“Anything for you, my love.” Jake accepts easily.

[whateverisbeautiful]

♥️Reveling in Richonne - TOWL

#9: The 5 Pizzas & A Wedding Ring (1.01)

gif cred: @twdfranchise

The Greatest Yearner and Loverboy of All Time award goes to…Rick Grimes. 🏆

No one is doing it like him and it’s always a welcomed sight to see how utterly in love Rick is with Michonne. In Michonne, Rick found a rare gem that brings out the most romantic side of him to the point that he could have such a gorgeous proposal dream and in it give us six words that became iconic as soon as they were said...🍕🍕🍕🍕🍕💍😊

So first, I found the timing of these three dreams to be telling, especially the third and final one.

The first dream arrives after Rick is nearly on death's door after chopping off his hand and bleeding out. The second dream arrives after Rick has joined the CRM, forced to integrate into their uniformity as a potential getaway route.

And then the third dream arrives after Rick has chosen to die while still alive. Each time he comes close to losing himself, either literally or figuratively, a dream of Michonne arrives as his subconscious' last-ditch effort to hold onto who he really is and his other half.

While his mind tells him he’s dead now - his heart still seeks out the woman who made him feel most alive. Even Dead Rick can’t lose Michonne completely. They’re far too one. And every time he needs her, just like in real life, she shows up. 🥹

Here in this dream, she still shows up even after Rick declares he’s no longer alive and can’t see her anymore because, as Michonne says later, their love can’t be denied. 👌🏽

gif cred: @kimwexlersponytail

That’s why I really love that this gorgeous dream arrives after his last letter.

You’d think this dream scene would have been placed before the letter to show the last time he sees her and then he’d write the letter saying 'I don’t see you anymore.' But no - they have the dream arrive after the letter and I believe that is very much intentional and I love what it says about Richonne’s love.

Even if her memory is fading from him there is still a part of his mind that can always find her. That’s part of why it's so sweet that Dream Michonne told Rick that she eats lunch at that bench every day in the previous dream because it’s essentially telling him 'you know where to find me. If you need me I’ll always be here.' 

gif cred: @richardgrimes

And Rick takes that to heart, eagerly waiting at that bench for her to show up. And sure enough, even after choosing to live but die, even after saying I don’t see you anymore, Michonne still shows up looking like a vision in white and like the bride Rick views her as. (Also she has on some thigh-high boots because of course Rick’s brain was gonna add some heightened sex appeal to the look knowing how he views Michonne. 😋)

I like how in the first dream, Michonne was sitting on the bench and Rick was taken aback by her beautiful self. And now in this third dream, Rick is the one parked on the bench ready and anticipating her arrival. And of course, he comes bearing the gift of food because one; homeboy loves showing love through getting things for Michonne, especially food, and two; he was like 'I’m not showing up empty-handed to this surprise lunch date.' Just like he wasn’t gonna show up empty-handed from his run when Michonne asked for toothpaste in their canon ep. 😊

Regarding the stage-play-to-their-real-TWD-journey metaphor, one thing that made these already special dreams even more special once I saw episode 4 is realizing that Rick had lost the memory of Carl by this point, and that was when Michonne showed up. Similar to their real journey, Rick lost Carl but before he could sink into the depths of despair with no way out, Michonne was able to step in and be there for him and bring him back. And she’s still doing that years later by showing up in these dreams and being the motivating light he needs during this dark chapter of life. 

So Rick sits on the park bench on a nice quiet day as he cutely taps his fingers on the fresh pizza box and awaits that beautiful mystery woman’s return. And everything about the both of them is so adorable in this dream. Their outfits, smiles, and conversation is just perfection. Like y’all, I’m rewatching to write this post, and the way I am smiling so big cuz I can’t help it lol. 🤭 They just go together like no couple has ever gone together before, in any world. 

gif cred: @nerd4music

Rick hears footsteps and looks over to see Michonne approach in her elegant white outfit and she looks surprised but happy to see he’s here waiting for her. Of course, Rick would hear that she eats here everyday and make it a priority to be there early and ready to see her. Nothing else is more important than being with her.

And Rick immediately starts explaining what he’s up to acknowledging, “This is a pretty bold move but you said you believed in me.” One; I love that he’s boldly pursuing her and two; I especially love that he again recalls how much Michonne believes in him. Her belief clearly means so much to him in his dreams and in reality.

gif cred: @richardgrimes

Also, the pizza really does remind me of the canon ep mints in that it’s something Rick is using to make his move and find his moment with her. 😋

Then Rick says, “So if you want this bench to yourself, I can take this large pizza past the big blue building and eat it alone at my miserable desk at my miserable job.” First of all - the most charming man in existence. 🥰

But also this is why I think the “job” in these dreams is a symbol of the CRM. He did eventually go to wherever that map said but he’s miserable there and that would demonstrate how he’s accepted being stuck with the CRM and he’s miserable there too.

gif cred: @richardgrimes

I love seeing Rick have this playful energy with Michonne tho. In real life she also brought that side out of him. And I love it because it just goes to show how they got to know every part of each other. Like so many in the CRM know Rick as the scowler and so many back home know Rick as their fearless leader but Michonne knows he has a happy face too and a very playful flirty side as well. 

Michonne affirms, “I do believe in you.” Which I just love. It’s so true to who she is outside of these dreams too. Always believing so strongly in Rick and letting him know it.

It's so sweet that Rick's mind continually reminds him that Michonne believes in him.  And it’s also sad because I feel like it’s only in these dreams where Rick gets to experience the gentle compassionate tenderness of someone who loves and believes in him.

gif cred: @richardgrimes

And then she cutely adds, “And I do like pizza” while giving Rick such a sweet smile and sitting next to him on the bench as he turns to give her all his attention. 

gif cred: @lousolversons

As she sits down she tells Rick, “But shut up about your misery. You’re not stuck anywhere.” And I love that this shows how Rick loved the part of Michonne that could always call him out too. In TWD, Michonne never shied away from letting Rick know when he might need a shift in perspective.

That's part of why they're a perfect match - they can call each other out and call each other higher and it only makes the other respect them even more.

gif cred: @riickgrimes

Michonne was always so good at helping Rick see things from a fuller and more positive vantage point. It’s why Rick so assuredly told her she led him here in Say Yes. So I really appreciate that his mind recalls that side of Michonne and how it shows he loves everything about her including her direct honesty. 

Rick looks out for a second, looking like he still believes he’s stuck a bit, and then he says, “Well you said you’re not where you want to be” in a tone that’s just so gentle and tender it makes me melt.

And once again him repeating her words back to her is so true to the character. In real life and in his dreams, Rick will always take every word Michonne says to heart, so of course he remembers what she said from the other dreams and brings them up here.

gif cred: @riickgrimes

And the way he looks at her after he says this...There’s a couple moments in this one dream where Rick is the heart-eyed emoji personified and that was one of them. 😍

It’s interesting that he brings up how Michonne said she’s not where she wants to be. It’s like this is him saying, “Aren’t we both stuck?”

And while irl Rick and Michonne are in less-than-ideal situations because they’ve had to go so long without each other, Rick’s mind then accurately envisions how Michonne would approach their unfortunate circumstances. She acknowledges she's both not where she wants to be and not stuck, when she tells him, “I’m not. But I’m not stuck either.” 

gif cred: @riickgrimes

Going back to the metaphorical side of things, I think this is Rick’s mind telling him that while Michonne isn’t exactly where she wants to be because she’s not with him, she hasn’t been living life like she’s stuck. With raising kids, she can’t. She’s had to keep going even with a whole part of her heart missing and trapped with the CRM. 

Then signature to Michonne, she gives Rick a major motivating dose of encouragement when she confidently tells him, “We can make this whole damn world ours if we want to.” Love it. 🥰

gif cred: @twdfranchise

And Richonne really can conquer the world and save it and I love how Rick’s dreams are reminding him of the power of Richonne and how the two of them could do anything. I’ve always said Rick relishes and is fully aware that he and Michonne are a power couple, with eps like TWD 7.10 making that clear. 

Then Rick has another heart-eyed moment as he hears her say this. 😍 He looks at her with a smile, adoring yet another part of Michonne - the part of her that always believes in their ability to overcome, rise above, and make the world better.

gif cred: @alwaysthequietones

Rick irl didn’t have aspirations of being some world leader with giant world-conquering goals - he truly could be content building a thriving small community so long as he had his wife and kids every day. But he’s more than willing to take on the world with Michonne.

And this dream shows that she is the one who makes him feel like even when they feel stuck or miserable, they can still win and not let the world defeat them. 

After saying this, Michonne gives Rick the cutest playful smile and I adore it so much. 😊

gif cred: @twdfranchise

And honey, Rick adores her smile so much too because the way he looks at her and lets out a little laugh...I’m telling you right now that man is so aware that he's wrapped around her finger and he wouldn’t have it any other way.

It's clear Rick loves seeing Michonne like this. You can just feel how much he loves her, admires her, and enjoys her. And their chemistry just leaps off the screen. 

gif cred: @alwaysthequietones

This dream also reminds me of when we saw him hallucinate Michonne in his final TWD ep. There as well he just knew Michonne would be a presence that calms him and motivates him like no other.

And truly falling in love with Michonne is one of Rick's proudest achievements because even in his last full episode of TWD he hallucinates her talking about why she fell in love with him. By having this proposal dream after feeling he died a failure, it’s almost like his subconscious is recalling one of the biggest ways he succeeded, which is in landing the baddest chick in the game. 👌🏽

And I adore how each time we’ve ever seen Michonne in Rick’s mind she always has this radiant smile which shows it’s something Rick really loves about her. And where so many might know Michonne as more serious, Rick loves the smiley part of her that he knows so well. 

He also often imagines kissing her which is another thing he loves. 😋

So after Rick laughs in a way that makes it feel like Michonne’s love and beauty both center him and make him dizzy, he’s basically like 'before we make the world ours, I want to make you mine.' And he starts by asking, “What if I came here one day…”

gif cred: @riickgrimes

I love Michonne’s intrigued and encouraging “mm-hmm.” You can definitely see she's charmed by this handsome man and likes him a whole lot. 😊

gif cred: @twdfranchise

Then Rick continues in just the cutest and best way ever, saying, “with 5 pizzas…” 😊

gif cred: @riickgrimes

And Michonne gives a smitten laugh which makes Rick smile, happy to see that he could make her laugh. 😊

gif cred: @twdfranchise

I love that the five pizzas call back to Say Yes when Michonne had Rick giggling as she says she’s going to eat five more of those MREs. Seeing a Say Yes callback in the premiere had me elated. 🥰

Also, call me crazy, but I’m telling myself '5 pizzas' was a hint at Michonne ultimately ending up with 5 kids too - Andre, Carl, Judith, RJ, and the way Rick and Michonne were in TOWL, baby #5 might be otw sooner than later. 😋 (even though in my ideal scenario Rick also gets some time to really focus on RJ, Judith, and Michonne before a new kid is added to the Grimes family 👌🏽)

And just the idea that Rick would playfully be like 'since you like pizza let me come back with tons of boxes for you' is sweet and very him lol. --- But he also wants to come here one day not just with pizza boxes but a very special jewelry box. 🙌🏽

Cuz then y’all, this show tries to make me pass out because this heartwarming moment gets even better as Rick smiles and looks Michonne in her eyes to say, “…and a wedding ring.”  🫠

Won’t. He. Do. It. Y’all!!!!!!! 🥳 “5 pizzas and a wedding ring” is an instant classic. I adore it with everything in me. 🥹

gif cred: @riickgrimes

This is the moment where I literally stopped breathing on premiere day. 🤭 Like I was already just swooning over the 5 pizzas thing and then he said “and a wedding ring” and I was so gagged. It was and is everything. 🤩

I had been crossing my fingers for rings in TOWL and this ep made me feel confident it was gonna happen because Rick was already dreaming about it. (And then we'll find out in ep 5 he’d actually been dreaming about it long before he was taken from her on that bridge.🥲)

Of course, Rick would want to propose to her in these dreams even after just one time on a bench together. 😋 Homeboy said 'I’ll learn your name and everything later but first will you spend the rest of your life with me?' lol.

Rick might not know her first name in these dreams yet but he knows exactly what he wants her last name to be. 🤗

I think it’s so sweet that he’s trying to wife her up so quickly. I feel like it connects to how in their actual TWD journey once Rick and Michonne became a romantic couple in s6 they weren’t girlfriend and boyfriend they were husband and wife. Also, in any dimension, all Rick wants is to build a world with her because she is his world. 🥲

And then I absolutely love getting to see Michonne’s response to Rick revealing he wants to marry her. 🥹 It makes my heart so happy. She was all just tickled by him and the five pizzas thing and then she heard 'wedding ring' and paused and smiled, seeing how much Rick meant it in his eyes.

gif cred: @lousolversons

Michonne looks right into his eyes, tilts her head (and I notice Rick moves his head at the exact same time in the same way cuz magnets 🧲 ) and she gives a beautiful smile as she assuredly nods and tenderly says, “I think you should do that.” 😭

I love the delivery of that line. Like once again Danai slayed. And Andy too. Like this moment is the epitome of Richonne gold. 🙌🏽

gif cred: @twdfranchise

I so appreciate the way this dream confirmed that in any world Rick would make the proposal and in any world, Michonne would say yes. They both are so quickly on the same page about wanting forever with each other just like in their reality. 

And Rick has just the sincerest smile and joy radiating on his face upon hearing Michonne say she does want him like he wants her. 🥹

I love that his mind knows Michonne would be so receptive had he formally proposed. Also, I adore this eye-acting moment as Rick beams and then has this realization that he’s finally going to get the honor of kissing her.

gif cred: @nat111love

They slowly lean in and have just the most precious kiss. Like they're so good at making a kiss equally sweet and sexy. It was a joy to see the first Richonne kiss in years 🙌🏽 - and little did we know we were in for literally over 100 more in this miniseries lol. Love that for us. 😋

gif cred: @nat111love

The first Richonne kiss in TOWL is so pretty and passionate...and it's also the tamest one of the miniseries. 😅 Because once those two reunite their hunger for each other really knows no bounds. 👌🏽

It’s great that through these dreams they found a way for Richonne to kiss in every ep, even before Richonne officially reunited. Also, I always love those Richonne kisses where they can’t help but smile during it and this was one of those. The joy Richonne brings each other brings me joy.

I also really like how it’s filmed similar to their first kiss on the couch in their canon ep, both with the framing from behind the bench and the way Rick looks at her before leaning in.

And I also love seeing Michonne definitely being eager too as she's the one to subtly lean in for that second kiss. 😋

gif cred: @nat111love

Ep 1 really came out the gate letting us know that when they said TOWL was an epic love story oh they meant that. This was such a top tier moment of Rick living his best Hallmark life with his wife. 😌

There’s also a shade of sadness to this moment because it’s almost like Rick has had to give up on ever seeing Real Michonne and so this is him locking down Dream Michonne, almost accepting that this is the closest he’ll ever get to having her in his life and giving her that ring he’s longed to give her for years.

It's like now his mind is prepared to live forever with the dream version of her instead. 🥲

gif cred: @msanonships

So after that kiss which is really a thing of beauty, the lovely moment is sadly fleeting as the kiss is quickly interrupted by more depressing images such as a burning walker, burning crops, and, the saddest of all, a burning Michonne as she becomes enveloped in flames on the bench. 😢

gif cred: @nat111love

Dissecting those images, I think the corpse is Rick being reminded of the fact that he’s had to die, the burning crops is Rick being reminded of why he had to die - it was to save his family like his dad saved his - and then seeing Michonne in the flames is a reminder of who he’s had to die for.

Losing the image of those he loves is such a tragic side effect of the trauma he's endured. 😢 And it’s intentional for Michonne to burn away rather than just disappear or fade away because again fire has this dual meaning - it saves and destroys. And it's like that’s what Rick‘s subconscious does with this vision of Michonne - destroys it to save her.

As she’s wrapped in flames the one thing Rick still knows for certain is his wife believes in him as Michonne says one last time, “I believe in you.” before vanishing from his mind.

Rick tries to speak to her repeating, “l think…” but he can’t get any words out. 🥺 I wonder what he was about to say. (At the pace they were moving in these dreams he might’ve been about to say “I think we should have a baby” 🤭) But fr, it breaks my heart seeing him so badly want to express something but becoming overwhelmed and putting his hand out wanting to touch her but he can’t anymore.

It’s so sad to see his moment of pure bliss with Michonne burn away and see him stutter at a loss for words as all he can do is just watch her be taken from him again and the moment be replaced with things he mentioned in his letter like blood and metal rotors. He really had to lose Michonne and Carl twice. 😥

So then Rick sees his house burning, the windmills outside his apartment, and helicopters and walker-kills from his lifeless shifts as a consignee as he’s plucked back to reality. However, even in that montage he still sees Michonne in the flames one more time. I’d like to think that shows that she is still within him somewhere. She still can show up even if just for a millisecond now. 

gif cred: @nat111love

And then most devastating of all is the final moment of this dream when the montage concludes with the bridge explosion and Rick being startled awake by the memory of Real Michonne screaming his name in agony. Oh this breaks my heart for real. 💔

So when breaking down the first dream of this premiere I mentioned how Rick hears himself call out to Michonne and then recalls the bridge moment when Michonne calls out to him, which is clearly a memory that still torments Rick all these years later. But then to cope with that painful bridge memory at the top of the episode his mind immediately took him and Michonne to this serene park bench. 

I think it’s very telling and intentional that rather than go from the reality of the bridge to the tranquility of the dream - this time around he goes from the tranquility of his dream to the reality of the bridge. It’s like he can’t use these peaceful dreams to run from the reality of how he and Michonne’s story actually left off anymore.

And it pains me so much that a dream that joyous between them now leaves Rick just with the visceral tragic memory of Michonne hurting and screaming out for him.

I know it haunts him so much that he can’t call back out to her. That he can’t comfort her when he knows she’s in pain. To know she saw him on that bridge and had to think the love of her life died right in front of her eyes. That is such a heavy thing that weighs on Rick and now that he can’t see her face anymore, it’s like all he has left is her voice - her anguished voice as they both went through the unbearable and lost each other. 

gif cred: @andy-clutterbuck

Rick startles awake upon hearing his wife scream his name and he appears to have a heavy heart from that dream-turned-nightmare. It’s terrible that a dream so good ended so bad, especially when these dreams were quite literally what was keeping Rick alive.

A line from Carl to Michonne in his final s8 episode always comes to mind when I see this. It's when Carl tells Michonne, “Don’t carry this. Not this part.” It makes me think about how most of the time when something or someone you love comes to an end there’s so much grief surrounding the ending that it can make the sad ending louder than all the good memories.

For Richonne, there was such an abundance of good in their relationship and it’s devastating that it came to an abrupt tragic end that day on the bridge. That’s not the type of final note a one-of-a-kind soul mate pairing like that should have. And so in some ways, Rick had been trying not to carry that part by taking his mind to those idyllic dreams. And then it’s heartbreaking to see even the dream get burned to ashes as he starts to lose a core part of himself in losing the image of her.

It’s painful for us to see the last dream before Rick couldn’t see her face anymore. The trauma inflicted by the CRM has just stripped away the faces of two of the most important people in Rick’s life. That’s bound to make one lose themselves completely. 😔

gif cred: @andy-clutterbuck

And in the last few minutes of the episode, Rick does seem like now he’s ready to lose himself in Okafor’s mission.

But fortunately, none of that will be happening. Because just when Rick thought he’d be stuck with the CRM for good…Michonne and her genius bestie had other plans. 😏👌🏽