#i know everybody has said this before it just irks me

[nerdpiggy]

god why is it so Shocking for my mom to hear i've been using a cane to mitigate my pain. Why does everyone just assume that canes are something that you receive from the government at age 75 as a complementary gift and nobody else can use one unless they would keel over without it. why must i be looked at like i am a bearer of the curse . like if i showed up tomorrow wearing glasses and i said "yeah idk my eyesight has been getting worse so these are helping me out" people would just be like yeah of course. makes total sense. but when i show up with a cane saying "yeah my joints have been fucked recently, not sure what's up yet but regardless this is helping" that's WEIRD and CONCERNING and WRONG

[ash-whimsicalfanfic]

Obsession

Tom Riddle X Fem OC/Reader

Word Count: 5K

Warnings: Mild language, Graphic, Smut, Toxic, Possessive, Protective, Angst, Fluff, Suggestive, Anger…

Prompt: Y/N Black is a mystery to many. She isn’t interested in making friends, only her studies. However, unbeknownst to many, one boy has piqued her interest——Tom Riddle. Little did she know, he had an obsession with her.

Sidenote: I did use some spells from the vampire diaries just for the heck of it. I may do a part two, but I’m not sure if it really needs it. I’ll leave it up to you guys!

Everyone seemed more chattier than usual. Maybe it was the upcoming Yule Ball or maybe it was because holidays were approaching. However, you hated the buzzing chatter, the obnoxious shouting, and all of the crowded halls. You had tried to go to the library as an escape from this madness, but everyone had infiltrated the library even.

You were the Scrooge that everybody was painfully aware of as you stormed through the halls with your books clutched to your chest. If you were a Hufflepuff, Ravenclaw, or Gryffindor, they would have laughed at the irked expression on your face. However, knowing you were a Slytherin strikes fear in many.

Not to mention you were a mystery to many. You were oh so quiet, along with a freakishly amount of smart, and an unearthly amount of beautiful. You chose to stick to yourself, choosing to not make any friends. You instead chose to have acquaintances in case a group project popped up, however you normally managed to worm your way out of that so you could work alone.

That was how you preferred doing things, alone. Other students have given up on trying to befriend you, seeing it as pointless. Guys would still try and ask you out, but their advances failed. They hadn’t noticed that your interest was piqued by a boy already. However, it seemed that he was just like you.

Tom Riddle was a handsome young man with jet black curly-ish hair and dark brown eyes that looked almost black from afar. He was fairly tall and had a lean look. His face was always blank…passive as he studied or walked through the halls or even when he was with his group of “friends”. They were his followers in his mind, not his friends. To anyone else, they saw them as a happy friend group.

You had noticed the things that anyone would pick up about Tom from afar, like his intelligence. Tom excelled in all of his classes, in fact he was tied at the top of the year with you. He too was introverted, preferring to be alone and in silence. For someone as passive as Tom, you noticed things he did. When he was judging something, he’d lean back in his chair, occasionally quirking an eyebrow as if he was impressed or annoyed.

When he was in a rather intuitive or creative mood, his eyes seemed to be a lighter shade of brown and he would get carried away in his journal. When he was thinking, he would zone out on his journal or something in the room.

You noticed that he’d clench his jaw until a muscle there ticked when he got angered. When he was annoyed, he had a tendency to sigh.

“Y/N!” Narcissa calls.

She stood among Tom Riddle and all of his “friends”. Tom’s eyes find you who was clearly irritated. You had made your way through the crowd and head towards her.

“Yes?” You ask.

“Hey, that is no way to talk to your favorite cousin.” Narcissa scolds.

“Who said you were my favorite?” You ask.

“It’s because it is me.” Bellatrix grins.

“Not you either.” You mutter.

“Moving on, have you seen Sirius or Regulus?” She asks.

“I’m not their keeper, Narcissa.” You mutter.

“They said they were meeting up with you.” She says, sighing in frustration.

“Well they didn’t. I need to get to class.” You mutter.

Before you could go, Bellatrix grabs your upper arm in a tight grip. You turn back to her with a clenched jaw as Narcissa steps back, muttering an “Uh-Oh”.

“Leaving so soon, cousin?” She mocks.

“Bellatrix, I’m warning you now to let go or you will regret it.” You warn calmly.

“What will you do? You're all goody two shoes, yet your in Slytherin. I think that dumb hat sorted you into the wrong house.” She says.

You pull your wand free, pointing it at her as you mutter “Stupefy”. You roll your eyes as she flies backwards through the crowd.

“If I wouldn’t get expelled, I would definitely crucio you or use the killing curse on you for your information. However, nothing is stopping me once we graduate.” You say, before turning and leaving the group stunned.

Tom smiles slightly as he watches you walk away, finding himself even more intrigued with you than he originally was. Call it an interest or maybe an obsession at this point. He liked to watch you when he could. He noticed things about you that he was sure no one else noticed.

He knew you were a quiet and mysterious girl, but underneath that “innocent” mask you wore, he knew there was a strong woman with a dangerous mind. You were far from innocent and today proved that more so to him. To anyone else, you were that innocent girl. However, when you let your guard down if you were stressed or angry or irritated, he could see the danger swirling in your (eye color) eyes.

He lets his smile fall, regaining his composure before turning back to his group. Bellatrix was back on her feet, a scowl on her face as Narcissa helped hold her up. He watches as Sirius and Regulus join them.

“What is wrong with you?” Sirius asks.

“Your bloody sister is what is wrong! She used stupefy on me!” She snaps.

“How pissed off did you make her?” Regulus chuckles, shaking his head.

“You both told me you were meeting with her about becoming a follower. Yet, she hasn’t seen either of you all day. So, where were you both off to?” Narcissa snaps.

“Have you seen how mad she can get? We learned not to mess around when she gets mad, Issa. When she is mad, she will take down anyone in her path. We’ve learned how to avoid making her mad. So, you go have that conversation with her because I rather not get crucio’d again.” Sirius says.

“Wow.” Avery mutters.

“She may be quiet and keeps to herself, but Y/N is a ticking time-bomb when you make her mad. She is intelligent, and maybe too intelligent for her own good. She also liked being stronger than others in magic, so that is why she studies so hard. However, because she is so antisocial and introverted, even as a child before Hogwarts, she took her studies serious, so she doesn’t understand fun. She is boring.” Sirius says.

“I bet she hasn’t ever shagged anyone, or snogged! A sixth year and a virgin! That is embarrassing.” Bellatrix cackles.

That further piqued Tom’s interest about you.. He found himself having more thoughts about you, both innocent and sinful thoughts. However, his sinful thoughts changed to the exception of you being a virgin. That made him feel a possessiveness over you he wasn’t quite sure how to feel about. However, he knew that the idea of you being with anyone else was sickening to him. You were his, you just didn’t know it yet.

Your studies past fairly quickly and you were heading towards the Great Hall. You sit at your normal spot, Regulus sitting next to you. Tom sat a table down with his “friends”, however his focus was on you. Regulus gently closed your books, pushing them away.

“Eat, then study.” He stresses softly.

As irritated as you were about him taking away your books, you listened. Tom quirked a brow, finding himself wondering if it was often you got so distracted by your studies that you didn’t take care of yourself the best. His eyes roam over you slowly, noticing the dark circles under your eyes along with the thinning face of yours. So, it was often, he thought.

“Y/N! My favorite sister! How has your day been?” Sirius asks as plops down across from you.

“What do you want?” You ask, sighing as you pushed your food around on your plate.

“Nothing to do with studies I hope, she is taking a break to eat.” Regulus stresses.

You close your eyes as the two start to argue, resting your chin on your hand. You open your eyes when Regulus stands, his voice getting louder.

“Enough!” You snap, the two instantly quieting.

It had gotten the attention of those around your table. You take in a slow breath before letting it out, regaining your composure before looking between your brothers with a blank look.

“You two bicker like a bunch of children. This is our brief moment to be able to hang out, however you both don’t know how to push aside your differences because you both are too hot-headed and irrational.” You rant.

You snatch up your books that Regulus had pushed away from you earlier and stood from the table as you left the Great Hall.

Tom watched you leave before looking between your brothers, before his eyes fell on your plate of untouched food. He puts some food in his bag, going unnoticed and decides to leave himself. He made his way to the library, heading to the forbidden section where he assumed you’d be. He feels a brief moment of pride flare in his chest, right about where you had gone. He clears his throat and you look up from your notes.

“Here. I noticed you didn’t eat.” He says.

His voice surprised you. It was deep, soft and mysterious. He pulled out some food he took from the Great Hall and handed it to you.

“Thank you.” You murmur.

He nods, going to leave and you begin working on your studies again. You sigh as a loud group comes into the library.

“Would you allow me to show you a place I like to go?” He asks, looking back down at you.

“I don’t see why not.” You admit, gathering your stuff before standing.

You follow behind Tom, not quite sure where he was taking you. You knew of his quest to become the Dark Lord. Some of his followers had big mouths, so you heard more than everyone thought you knew. They assumed you were clueless about his current quest and they all were tip-toeing around who would be the one to break the news to you. However, you knew. You knew more than them in fact.

He looks around, making sure there was no other students or professors in the hall before a door appears in the wall. Your lips part from surprise as he ushers you in, following behind you. You looked around the empty room in awe.

“The Room of Requirements…I’ve heard of it and I’ve looked everywhere for it.” You mumble.

“Yes, I searched for this room for awhile myself. I later learned that the room only will appear in great need.” Tom explains, seeming rather smug about finding it.

“The room seems to know you quite well…and you seem to know the room quite well too. Otherwise, the door wouldn’t have appeared because I’m sure my studies are not in great need.” You say, turning back to him.

You feel a heat spread across your body as you catch his eyes on you. The dark eyes slowly trail over you, mapping out your body. His eyes stop on your blouse where you had a few buttons undone since you were alone and had started to get a little hot in the confined aisles of the forbidden section in the library.

He steps forward, closing the distance between the two of you. You look up, not realizing that he was this tall. He puts a hand out and gently grasps your hip before trailing it up your side. He tugs on the middle of your blouse, revealing more of your cleavage, before he starts undoing the remaining buttons.

“That and maybe because I am in great need of you.” He murmurs, leaning down to trail his lips along your neck.

You shiver, feeling a trail of goosebumps being left behind from the ghost touch. His hands find your shoulders where he pushes the robes off before pushing your blouse off along with it. He leaves a soft kiss on your racing pulse, before he pulls back to look down at you.

You were left in a dark green lace bra, and he tsked quietly, approving the way they made your breasts look. The bra seemed to work as a push-up bra, but really Narcissa had gotten you the wrong size this year.

His eyes trail over your stomach, noting the soft curves he would be sure to feel later. His eyes focus on the short school-girl skirt, also Narcissa’s doing. You didn’t fret much about it as you knew you’d wear your robe more often than not. You were wearing knee high stockings with a pair of mary-janes.

“The school girl skirt, hmph, your just asking to be fucked, aren’t you?” He asks, a smirk slowly spreading across his face.

“Tom.” You say breathlessly.

“Leave the skirt on, but take your panties off.” He orders.

He begins unbuttoning his own shirt, watching you. You were frozen in place before you start to work the panties down. He held a hand out, looking at you expectantly. Your shaky hand places the matching dark green lace panties into his hand.

He balls it up and sticks it in his blazer pocket. You watch as his long, slender fingers work his belt off. Your eyes focused on his veiny hands.

“Hands and knees.” He says.

You slowly drop to your knees, turning over, no longer able to watch his next move. You get on your hands, moving so you are on your elbows. You arch your back down, sticking your ass out more.

Tom licks his lips slowly, swallowing hard as he watches you get into the position. He inhales deeply, watching as you arch your back. He puts a clenched fist to his mouth, lightly biting himself, not quite sure if this was really happening. The skirt hid nothing. He could see the big globes that he found himself really attracted to. He never would have taken himself as an ass man.

His eyes trail further down to see your glistening entrance. He pushes his pants off before he gets on the ground behind you. He brushes your hair over your shoulder, before he finds himself tracing down your spine lightly. You shiver unintentionally, however he enjoyed the effect he on you.

“How bad do you want me?” He murmurs into your ear.

“Please, Tom.” You whisper as you push your hips back.

“Pathetic. Do you want my cock or not?” He asks, grabbing a fistful of your hair and roughly jerking your head back.

A breathless moan fills the thick air in the room as a heat spreads across your scalp. He clenches his jaw, feeling himself twitch from the sound he heard. It was the beginning of a beautiful symphony, one he didn’t realize how much he’d become crazed for.

“Tom! Please! I need you!” You cry, feeling frustrated that he wasn’t touching you where you wanted to be touched.

He smirks, gently grabbing your hips. He uses his other hand to guide himself into your dripping entrance. He groans, your walls immediately grasping onto him, suffocating him. You moan lowly, your hands grasping at the stone floor as your eyes flutter shut.

“Fuck.” He curses, working himself in and out of you slowly.

“Tom, please.” You plead, pushing your hips back.

“Is my cock the first one you’ve ever had?” He asks, his eyes burning in the back of your head as he awaited your response.

“Yes! Please, Tom!” You cry.

He couldn’t help the grin across his face. He heard it, but he wasn’t sure if maybe you just kept them out of the loop. But, knowing he was the one to take your virginity was exhilirating to him.

“I better be the only cock you have here. You are mine.” He warns.

“Yes! I-I’m yours, Tom!” You moan as he starts to move at a faster pace.

“I’ll kill any boy who dares to be with you, because you are mine! I’ll punish you if I see you talking to some boy.” He growls, his hips now savagely moving.

You cry for more, your soft and loud moans were music to his ears. He breathed heavily along with you as held onto your hips tightly. Skin smacking echoed in the room and you heard his soft groan which sent you coming. He groans louder as you clench around him, coming around him.

You stood on shaky legs, buttoning up your blouse and grimacing as you feel your shared climaxes slowly leaking out of you. He grasps your chin, looking at you with a stern look.

“Keep it in. I want you to know who fucked you.” He says.

“Tom, I need my panties.” You say as your cheeks flush.

“Find another way to keep it in.” He says, before focusing back on straightening himself out.

You pull your blazer on along with your robes before grabbing your books and hurrying out. You reach the Slytherin common room, Narcissa and Bellatrix looking up from their game of cards. Sirius and Regulus’s backs were to you.

“Oh my god, you got shagged!” Narcissa exclaims with a grin.

“Who was it?” Bellatrix asks.

“Yeah, I’d like to know.” Sirius seethes, taking in your disheveled hair and the hickeys on your neck.

Narcissa looks at your knees to see that they were scraped up, but you choose to ignore your brothers and cousins as you make your way past them. Regulus laughs, yelling “Atta girl!”

A small smile graces your lips at your little brothers comment. He too was protective of you, but he knew you inside and out. He and you were far closer than you were with Sirius. You get to your dorm and think of showering, but then your mind wanders to Tom. Keep it in…

You pull on a pair of fresh panties as you change into your nightware. You found yourself tossing and turning for a long while before you fell asleep. By the time it was time to wake up, you were exhausted. You could sleep in, but that ruins your morning routine.

You go to the shower, grimacing at the burn in your stomach. It was now that you realized you didn’t eat once yesterday. You finished up in the bathroom before pulling on a black lingerie set. You gasp as your door opens and Tom walks in.

“I knew you’d be awake.” He says, his eyes slowly roaming over you and some of the bruises he had made from where he held you still.

“Tom, what are you doing here?” You ask, grabbing a random robe and pulling it on.

“I’ve seen it all, darling. I wanted to tell you no more skirts.” He says and you look at him confused.

“I…Is it because how short they are?” You ask.

“That and the school girl skirt should be meant for my eyes when we are alone. Do you understand?” He asks.

“I…yes, Tom.” You say quietly.

He grins, looking at your neck where you had several hickeys before he leaves. You frown and look at the outfit you had prepared for this morning. It consisted of a school girl skirt.You sigh, grabbing a dark green skater skirt that ended a little about mid-thigh. There wasn’t much you could do about the length of your skirts until you went shopping again.

You grab your button up blouse and your Slytherin tie. You grab the blazer and sigh when you see dust on it. You hang it back up, deciding you will have to clean it later because you don’t have time now.

You pull on your knee socks and mary-janes when there was a knock at your dorm door. You open it and see it was Narcissa.

“I came bearing gifts.” She says.

You open the door and she guides you to the small vanity as she begins to help you cover the hickeys on your neck and jawline.

“So, who was it?” She asks.

“I’m not sure if I’m ready to say who it was yet.” You murmur.

“Did he force you? I’ll make him suffer the worst ways imaginable.” She says seriously.

“No, no, he didn’t force me. I’m just not sure what is happening yet. I don’t know if it merely was just another shag to him or if it’ll turn into something. However, he’s being a little controlling of what I wear, mainly my skirts.” You explain.

“I feel like I already know who this is.” She says, sighing.

“Who?” You ask.

“Tom Riddle?” She asks.

“Oh…how did you know?” You ask.

“Tom is…many things. I don’t know if he is capable of love and a relationship. He is a very possessive man. And I mean to the extent that it isn't healthy. He is ill-tempered and easily jealous. Not to mention he can be obsessive too. I personally think you should put some distance between the two of you and let things die down. I don’t know what his intentions are, but I’m sure they aren’t good.” She explains.

“Alright.” You say quietly.

You were quite sure how to feel. But, you knew Narcissa meant well and you also knew that she knew Tom better than you. You trusted her advice almost as you trusted Regulus’s.

“All done.” She says.

“Thank you, Issa.” You murmur and she nods.

She leaves you to your thoughts and you realize you need to head down to the Great Hall for breakfast. You gather your books and make your way out of your dorm in a daze. You head to the Great Hall and see everyone was already there. You ignore the burning stare that you knew belonged to Tom Riddle.

“Hey, you okay? You seem out of it? And your running late.” Regulus says.

“Oh, I’m fine. I think I’m just in need of food. I realized I didn’t eat once yesterday.” You explain.

“Y/N/N, you’ve got to take better care of yourself. I will start treating you like I did the first year.” He warns.

“I know, I know, and I promise I’ll do better.” You sigh.

“Why is Riddle staring at you? He seems pissed.” He whispers.

“Oh, who knows.” You sigh, briefly glancing at Tom.

Tom was staring at your neck where your hickeys would be, but thanks to Narcissa, they were no longer there. You managed to eat some of your food before it began to make you feel sick. You felt suffocated with Tom glaring daggers into you and Sirius was no better.

“Stop it.” Regulus warns Sirius.

“I want to know who it was.” He snaps, looking back at you.

You clench your jaw, narrowing your eyes at him as you take a slow breath in and let it out. You pull your wand out and keep your hand rested on the table, so you don’t draw anymore attention to you.

“Keep glaring, brother and watch how fast you end up in the hospital wing.” You warn lowly.

“Guys.” Narcissa warns.

“Who is he?” He growls lowly, leaning closer to you.

“Oh shit. Take cover!” Regulus says, going under the table.

You reach forward, grabbing Sirius’s tie and pull him closer as your face heats from anger.

“Astronomy tower, now.” You grit out.

He stands and storms out and you stand as Regulus pokes his head out.

“Don’t kill him please.” He pleads.

You storm out of the Great Hall, wand in hand as you make your way towards the Astronomy tower to see him already there and waiting.

“Who is it!?” He snaps as you both circle each other.

“Sirius, it’s none of your business. Stop trying to act like the older and protective brother. Stop acting like you care!” You snap.

“I do care! You're my sister.” He snaps.

“Guys. Let’s try to keep calm.” Narcissa says as she walks in with her group.

“Yeah, let’s just hug it out and make up.” Regulus says.

“I want to know who has my sister acting like a tramp.” He snaps.

“Oh no….oh no! Oh no! Back up, back up, back up!” Regulus says as he pushes everyone back.

“Bombarda!” You fast and Sirius curses as he tries to dodge the mini explosion you casted his way.

“Confundo!” He shouts, but you dodge it.

“Everte Statum.” You cast, watching as he flies back against the wall, his wand falling in the process.

You walk forward, grabbing his wand before looking down at him.

“Impulsa Animositas!” You snap, gaining confused looks from around the room.

“I…Y/N, have you been creating spells again?” Regulus asks cautiously.

“Again?” Narcissa asks alarmed.

“What did you do to me?” Sirius snaps.

“Say something mean. To any of us.” You say, smirking.

“What the hell did you do to me you crazy bi—ow!” He exclaims after feeling a jolt of electricity go through you.

“Just as I assumed. This spell will zap you everytime you try and say something mean.” You say.

“That’s child’s play you idiot!” He snaps before groaning.

“Hm. This isn’t. Lihednat Dolchitni.” You cast.

His hands find his throat as he try’s to breath. You clench your fist tighter, watching how he struggles more before you wave your hand and it stops. He leans forward, breathing heavily.

“Tread carefully, brother. I have far more up my sleeve than you wish to believe.” You spat.

“You…you will get in so much trouble for creating spells. Regulus and I told you that you need to stop.” He breathes heavily.

“Then keep your mouths shut otherwise I’ll make you suffer in the worst unimaginable ways.” You say.

With that, you turn and walk past the group who seemed shocked. You head back to the Great Hall, gathering your items before heading back to your dorm. You were too upset and riled up to do anything. So, instead you hurry to your dorm and lock the door.

You pace frantically, running your hands through your hair. You let a breath out that you hadn’t noticed you were holding.

“You’re okay. You’re okay. Everything is okay.” You mumble to yourself.

The lock on your door clicks, so you turn and see Tom. He closes the door back and turns to you with that normal passive and cold look.

“That was…impressive.” He says.

“Tom, I really rather be alone right now.” You mutter.

“Why cover the marks I left? I left them for a reason.” He says, his voice hardening as his eyes turn several shades darker.

“I didn’t want to walk around with them showing. People would have said something and I don’t want to deal with that. Plus, I rather the school not know I was your play thing.” You mutter harshly, turning your back to him.

“Who said you were a play thing because I don’t recall ever telling you that?” He snaps.

“Tell me this, Tom. Are you one for commitment? Would you be in an exclusive relationship? Huh, tell me that!” You snap harshly as you turn to face him again.

“I can do commitment. Before, I’d say no. However, for you I am willing to do it. I’m willing to be in an exclusive relationship as you call it. Because I can’t ever get you out of my head! You are all I can focus on! It’s so…so irritating, yet I love it at the same time.” He growls.

“Tom, there are going to have to be some rules set in place if we are to do something. Like the skirt thing this morning. I only wear skirts.” You say.

“Fine. Wear your skirts, well not the school girl ones, however I can’t promise that some asshole won’t end up dead for looking. You are mine.” He snaps.

“Okay, and what about the marks?” You ask.

“You shouldn’t care what anyone says. You never have before, so why care now? I want people to know that you belong to me. I want the guys to realize that you aren’t a possibility anymore. You are mine.” He says, closing the distance between you both.

You look up as his hand wraps around your throat. He tightens his hand and you let a shaky breath out as you clench your thighs.

“You barely know me.” You mumble.

“I know more than you think, darling. You piqued my interest. When that happens, I tend to learn everything I can.” He murmurs, brushing his nose against yours before kissing you softly.

You hum, moving your hands to his hair. You whine when he pulls back, a smirk on his lips.

“What does that mean? How have you learned about me if you just started speaking to me yesterday?” You ask.

“Because I might be a bit obsessive when it comes to learning of the things that interest me. I won’t stop until I know everything.” He says.

There was banging on your dorm door and you sigh, going to walk past Tom, but he loops an arm around your waist.

“Who is it?” Tom asks, annoyed.

“It’s Bella, me and Regulus. Is Y/N in there?” Narcissa says.

“Well go away. I’m about to fuck my girl.” He snaps.

Your face heats up as you cover your mouth to hide your gasp. Narcissa gasps, Regulus laughs and yells for you to get it while Bellatrix throws a fit.

“We are not doing anything! We are just talking!” You exclaim.

“Talking, huh?” He says, quirking a brow at you as he slips a hand beneath your skirt.

You let a shaky breath out as he trails his hand up your thigh. He gets to your underwear, sliding two fingers beneath the lacy fabric.

“Tom.” You mumble.

“Talking and yet you're so wet for me. Do you want my cock again?” He asks, sliding a finger in you.

Your eyes flutter close and he grins widely, loving the way you reacted to his touch. You were the violin and he was the violinist. He played you so gracefully and loved the beautiful symphony that came from your mouth. It was his greatest obsession.

[mtchacffinz]

to be loved for you

prompt!!! Dan Heng never dealt with jealousy. He learns bitterly that sometimes, he can't deal with it rationally!

content!!! SFW, gn! reader, fluff, mutual pining, hurt/comfort, first kiss, clingy! Dan Heng

note!!! I love him too much. So far, all he's been getting from me is fluff 💔 frankly, i cant muster any freaky-freaky stuff with this man 🤔 got anything? my asks are open 🩷

To be someone who relied on relations by circumstance, you would always cherish each and every one of those who cross your path. May they be old and wise, or young and restless— Greeting them with the brightest smile, they'd always find themselves enamoured by your energy. Maybe this is why you attract so many people? Dan Heng was aware of that. He never spoke up about it, though. After all, he was one of the many who was caught bulls eye with each strum of his heart.

He knew you were capable of fending off threats yourself. He knew you were somebody who could defend someone from harms way.. and he especially knew just how gentle and kind you treat everybody.

Oh, what is he doing? Sulking all by himself in the archives. Dan Heng's thoughts ran rampant the past minutes. This happens when he's alone or sitting idly by. The poor man's thoughts catch up to him leaving him disgruntled. The thing is, you could always see it in his face.

You've been out and about for a while. He misses you, you know. Not that he would admit! Dan Heng's stubborn, just like that. He's definitely not mulling over how you're attention has been elsewhere, either. He doesn't mind. You have the freedom to do what you want! Just leave him sulking here in the archives unattended, it's okay.

The teal eyed prince clicks his tongue. That chatty, flirty, touchy writer. At first, Dan Heng thought that he was quite a man. The writer guy was nice and respectful with a golden gaze for things that were held high. That said, the Author quickly took interest in you.

He was never one to be possessive. Why should he? You're not even in a relationship. But sometimes, as soon as the guys hands find their way towards yours, intertwining in a clasp, something in him dims. Suddenly, his eyes can't leave your figure. It was your smile again, and Dan Heng's not at the receiving end of it.

You're not on the express today, either. A shame. Seriously, that guys been hogging you all week! What's up with that? Don't even get him started on "(Y/n), my muse. Accompany me today?" bullcrap! It's nothing but a sappy excuse to get into your pants so bad! Seriously, the absurdity. Dan Heng shakes off the thoughts before they continue. Did you know? Just by his gaze alone, someone could freeze in their place— like daggers against their back.

"Hmm? Mr. Ferr, are you okay?"

"It's nothing, my sweet, I strangely caught a shiver in my spine.." the author, Ferr, replied calmly.

"Okay. So about your first draft.."

Draft this, draft that, can't he got an editor instead?!

Irk marks basically float up his head just thinking about what they're talking about right now. Can you blame him? He's been neglected.

Dan Heng slaps himself, hard.

Woah. He's getting way ahead of himself. Him? Neglected? In what way? Again, it's not like you're both in a relationship. It's not like he's entitled to your affection in any way. Dan Heng really needs to calm down. Lately, all he's been doing is updating the archives. He's also learned of what you will be traveling for next, and added data with a note addressed to you as well. His calloused hands were flipping through various pages all day, pulling apart scrolls and wiping away holograms.

His thoughts become strangely quiet. His presence was like frost.. constant. A little chilly. He starts to fiddle with his fingers, his gloves, and his nails.

He really misses you a lot.

Can you come back soon?

Dan Heng sighs. He stands up with his impeccable posture as usual. Those arms held scrolls and books, and puts them back where he got them from. At this point, he's zoned out. He exits the Archives, strolling near the parlor car. Light footsteps echo throughout the space with Dan Heng taking in the air of tranquility within the express; It seemed like everyone had their own agenda today.

Well, except for one.

"Dan Heng," Himeko's sweet, gentle voice called out for him. The boy turned towards her, a little surprised. She smiles, and beckons him to sit with her. Her silky locks framing perfectly on her face, she put a stray strand behind her ear. "Come, I have coffee to share."

Dan Heng was indeed in dire need of indulgence. Without hesitation, he walked over to the red head and sat down. He forgot how comfortable the sofa was.. his nerves began to relax. Himeko starts to pour the hot beverages into elegant coffee cups, befitting if her style. It was comfortable silence, the stars glistened into glass windows— reflecting the beauty of life. Himeko seems to have noticed his aloof vibe, joining him to stare at the stars. Opening her lips, Himeko starts.

"You've been busy for a while."

"Being an archivist is a lot of work, huh?"

"I have."

"It's fine." The gentle lady can't help but chuckle. He's so dry. This only confirms her hypothesis. That daunting look on his figure may intimidate some, but not Miss Himeko. Never Miss Himeko. She doesn't want to expose her hidden agenda now, but she just can't wait to run her mouth. After all, Dan Heng's been down the weather and it's very obvious as to why.

"(Y/n) wanted me to prepare these for you. Enjoy them." She takes a sip. His expression softened. Dan Heng can't help but think bitterly. It'd be lovely if they were her to prepare these herself, but the teal eyed prince quickly take back the thought.

"I'm thankful.. but why? Is there an occasion? I don't seem to recall any." He speaks in a cautious manner. The woman only sighs, a palm on her cheek.

"Be honest with me, Dan Heng." Her tone quickly changed. Now her eyes are staring into his. Like it was rummaging through his soul. Dan Heng's feet were cold. He couldn't contest her gaze, so he averts his eyes. Himeko frowns at this, but she doesn't seem to mind.

"Your eyes betray you greatly."

He was a little taken aback. His eyes? He was never expressive. He was sure he'd been called at least poker faced and stoic before.. Dan Heng's brows narrowed. "I beg your pardon?"

Himeko only chuckles, dismissing her last claim. "I'll tell you what. They'll be here soon.. and they're going to leave just as quickly." She adds the last statement with dramatic disdain before the elegant lady takes a sip once again. Dan Heng's stomach drop. Ah.. he's lost the appetite to even finish his mug. Himeko continues. "Ferr is taking them to a space station for one of his projects. Given the current circumstances, they have no reason to refuse."

His face scrunched in annoyance upon hearing the name again. Mr. Ferr this, Mr. Ferr that! He's getting sick of him. Taking (Y/n) on a space ship? How long will that take? Is it some sort of rendevous? A date?

..will you come back?

"i don't think that decision befalls to us. (Y/n) is capable of making decisions.."

"I don't want them to go."

"..on their own because— wait, what?"

Himeko chuckles dryly. "I don't want (Y/n) to go, you know? It's selfish thought, I know. But, it's good to be selfish once and a while now, right?"

That was a half baked lie. First of all, Himeko fully supports what (Y/n) wants. But Ferr.. isn't exactly known for his patience. Himeko knows full well as soon as (Y/n) steps in the spaceship— he'd pull something like a proposal! A profession, a deal! She's not stupid, Himeko is far from dense. The Scientist knows that the Author has a huge thing for you, and it shows. And knowing Dan Heng? He'd just nod along albeit against it. She can't just stand here and let them distance each other! Himeko's seen it.. that prying gaze of a distraught, pining lover.. the watchful eyes of a lovestruck persona. The only way to get a stubborn man to act, is through tremendous pressure!

Dan Heng's lips pursed.

"And you want me to.."

"You don't have to, really."

"But.. if it will benefit them, should we encourage it? After all, they're energetic and knows their way with words. There must be some sort of good reasoning behind his invitation."

"I don't know. Do you want them to go?"

"I.." Dan Heng couldn't finish his sentence. He couldn't form a response at all. Does he want you to go? If you would enjoy yourself, he'd love to allow it.. If you'd return with a smile on your face, tell him all about what happened, he'd love to receive you with utmost sincere..

Even if it took atleast a hundred years for you to return to him.

...Hundred years his ass! You will not spend a hundred years with that man!

"If (Y/n) wants to, I personally don't see why not." Dan Heng's thoughts actively contrasted his responses. A stubborn man.. Himeko sighs, an apologetic smile on her lips. Finally backing away, the lovely lady puts down her mug and sits straight.

"It's okay to be honest. After all, they.. wish for something."

Dan Heng replies quickly in a heart beat. "I will be honest, then. I want their wish fulfilled."

"Then you better greet them in tip-top shape." Himeko winks saying this, standing up to excuse herself. Dan Heng tilts his head in this, not quite sure if what the she's implying. Himeko only had that knowing smirk on her pristine face. The lady excuses herself promptly, leaving Dan Heng all by himself. The man is once again left alone with his thoughts, except this time, he has new material to work with.

"Great..." He huffs bitterly, pinching the bridge of his nose. "Just.. splendid." God, his head hurts. He's tired and he's drowsy. At this point, he doesn't find anything of urgency at the moment— only thinking about grasping that sudden warmth the sofa beneath him exerts. Dan Heng would like to find peace of mind at least once in a while. Both that in mind, his eyes find their way to the Parlor ceiling, half lidded and tired.

Slowly, his breathing calms down.. and slowly, his eyes drift closed, consciousness slipping away from his grasp.

Slowly.. the darkness embraced him, and his body rested in slumber.

You stand a little surprised.

After all, Dan Heng was casually sitting upright— his eyes closed. Is he napping? Is he okay? You're not sure, and you're concerned. Frankly, you were supposed to be here for him— feeling that he deserves at least an apology that you haven't been getting back to his messages in a while. But looking at the sight.. he looks like he's accompanied at the moment.

Such a hard working guard. The guard of the express, the unmatched Archivist of the Nameless.. the one who would always hold your heart gently. You swore if he blew air on your figure, you'd crumble immediately. The only one who'd sway your heart. That's how much power he holds, his whole fingers wrapped around your being with an invisible string keeping you binded to him.

You curb a grin. Strolling near your quarters, you pick up something warm. A blanket. You envelop his stature in a comfortable tuck, pausing for a moment to take in the melancholic state Dan Heng's exhibiting. The handsome prince's eyes fluttered closed, lips slightly apart. If he's sitting upright sleeping, then he must be atleast tired enough to sleep but still be on his feet.

But he doesn't know that, he doesn't need to.

"Ah.." was all Dan Heng could muster. You look back at him in a awe, but quickly recovered. You didn't remove his hands on your wrist, you held onto them instead. The archivists eyes softened, his brows relaxing. You attempt to give him a smile, defusing the tension.

Your sightseeing was cut short when Dan Heng started to stir, his eyes fluttering open. It was for a short moment, the first those greyish teal eyes found their way towards yours.. and the way they slightly widened upon meeting gazes with you, Dan Heng's slender, warm fingers slowly snuck their way toward your wrist; apprehending their movements further. Dan Heng held onto you like you were unreal, like you were unbelievable. Oh, he looks stricken. He looks.. almost as surprised as you. Dan Heng doesn't say anything yet, the blanket that was once on him fell off just a little while ago.

"Hey. Sorry. It looks like I woke you up.." You offer an apologetic smile. He quickly shakes his head at this, responding to you in haste.

"No.. no. Don't apologize."

"I have a lot of apologizing to do."

"No, you.." before he could finish, he cuts himself off. Why must he be so accepting? He keeps brushing his feelings aside, and before he knows it, he utters something he doesn't even mean. No, he's not okay. No, it's not fine. You upset him greatly. He couldn't focus on anything because you weren't answering his messages. Your phone was unreachable.

You had Dan Heng worried sick. What if something happened to you? You reckless, Trusting, thick skulled—

"Everything good?"

Your voice immediately snaps him out of his thoughts. Dan Heng let's out a small breath, his hands still clutching yours. He was still sitting down, and you were towering over him. God.. just by your gaze alone, he's already so full. If you could just stay with him a little longer, he feels like this churning in his stomach would go away soon. He wants you so bad, he needs you so bad.. he doesn't want you to let go anytime soon.

To your surprise, Dan Heng himself removed his hold on you. His movements were slow and languid, like a flow of water within the rivers. Moving in chorus, mellifluous.. elegantly. You can't take your eyes off him at all. Dan Heng clung to your waist. His warm body enveloped your lower half, nuzzling deep into your stomach. You let out a surprised yelp.

Suddenly, your face is hot. Your stomach was dancing with abundant butterflies, and you don't know where to put your hands. As if the archivist could read your mind, his hands led yours into his head, fingers entangling itself into those dark locks. They were so soft.. so warm and lovely. Your hands run through his hair gently— cherishing just how close he is to you at this moment. What's up with him? He seems to be a little more laid back.

Dan Heng shifts in his place. That's when he finally looks up at you. His arms around you, eyes looking directly at yours. You could see his expression.. eyes soft. Gentle. A slight pout— face flushed. It looks like he wants to say something, and it's still processing in that pretty head of his.

Dan Heng's hold on you tightens, you didn't fail to notice. He wants to be selfish for once. Let him be selfish for once. Just once. With a small breath and a soft tone, he finally utters.

"Don't go."

It was getting harder and harder to calm your heart down, and that didn't get any better.

Your heart immediately melts, and your knees almost gave out. What? Go where? Has the rumours already spread? Whatever it was, it's not happening. Especially if he asked you, it's already set in stone. "I won't. Not anywhere." You respond tenderly. Dan Heng's eyes lit up. You swore his fingers even twitched just a little bit. A little more after, his face suddenly scrunched. The archivists' frame was decorated with blazing hues of red. Whatever he's thinking seems to strain him so. Not even bothering to give you time to further analyze, he stands up from his seat, arms still around you. This time, you have no idea what'll he do. Dan Heng's eyes averted yours, hesitantly taking a step closer. My.. your palms are starting to sweat. This is the effect of anticipation.

When he pulled back from you, Dan Heng quickly analyzed your expression to see even a tinge of displeasure. Now you.. face decorated with the hue of peony, looked awe struck. Absolutely enchanted.. bewildered, blown. Gathering your nerves to work back up again, your eyes slowly trailed back to his nervous ones: awaiting your reaction.

"..You can hit me after this." Dan Heng suddenly says, making you tilt your head in confusion. So carefully, he cupped your cheeks. Whatever that was you were going to say was caught in your throat. There was a bubbling feeling in your chest, waiting to pop open; and as soon as his lips brushed past yours, it popped so beautifully vibrant it blinded your vision for but a moment. As your eyes fluttered closed and his eyes half lidded, he greedily drank the sight of you from his eyes.

Dan Heng's eyes widened once you grabbed his collar— smashing your lips back to his. The kiss you've given him burned with fervor, impatient, like you've been yearning for more. You were starved of his lips— like a lone hawk hunting for aeons.

Now that the opportunity presented itself, might as well make the most of it.

The archivist had a hard time keeping up with you, keeping the both of you straight by holding the small of your back. Your arms were in Dan Heng's chest— eagerly taking him in yours. By the time you both ran out of air, you were standing in amidst the parlor car— with the stars accompanying the moment being the sole witness. You could hear Dan Heng's heartbeat whilst you rest your head on his chest. Clutching his jacket, it was tempting to go for another one again.

There was silence. A lot of words hung out in the air. The first to cut through the already light air around you was you.

"For how long?"

Dan Heng breathed heavily, burying his nose into your hair. He thinks about it for a long time before finally answering.

"Quite a while."

i went a little overboard sorry! (⁠●⁠´⁠⌓⁠`⁠●⁠) edited it a lil bit

[youremyheaven]

Fated Love in Astrology

So, every person has a divine partner that they are meant to be with. Your union with your other half (I hesitate to use the world “twin flame” only because of how misconstrued it is in mainstream astrology/spirituality discourse) depends entirely on both of your individual spiritual awakening and commitment to the spiritual path.

In astrology, the 7th house represents marriage, or, as I like to call it “union”. The 7th house, is the 7th house from the 1st house. It is the descendant to your ascendant. It is the shadow to your ego. Whenever we cross paths with an individual whose luminaries fall to our 7th house, it creates a very magnetic & intense attraction. It’s almost inexplicable what you feel for each other.

With that said, this sort of connection is not logical or rational. It defies all norms. The key to recognizing your divine partner is the intense attraction you feel towards them right away. There is no hesitation or second guessing, you’re simply awestruck by them. Nowadays, we all have a very tedious approach to relationships (due to our collective trauma and bad experiences), everybody walks around with a checklist to find someone who will fit their criteria but that is not how Divine Love works. You just know instantly that there is something different about this connection. That is not to say, the nature of the relationship will be easy. Fated connections are never easy and not everyone is meant to find their Divine Partner. 

When such a person comes into your life, it usually triggers your ego death; they become responsible for you losing the shell of identity you held close to you. All your fears, your shame, your vulnerability comes to the forefront and you have to confront everything you’ve ever repressed. It leads to a dissolution of self. 

In Sufism, there is the concept of “fanaa” which can be translated to “annihilation”. In order to merge oneself with God, it is first necessary to annihilate everything that you consider to be you. It’s important to "to die before one dies". Love & Worship are very closely intertwined. This is exactly what “twin flame” connection feels like. You rid yourself of your ego, you dissolve your sense of “self”. Sounds intense? That’s because it is. It irks me when people talk about twin flames in a casual way because a) not everyone has a twin flame b) this is not a fun experience in any way, shape or form c)This is the least casual of experiences

(I am using the word twin flame here only because it is a term that more people are familiar with, I wanted to speak of the spiritual background of that experience whilst using a term that’s already familiar)

In Jungian psychology, there is the concept of anima/animus, which refer to the unconscious masculine aspect of a woman and the unconscious feminine aspect of a man respectively. One aspect of being a “whole” human being is to integrate these unconscious parts into yourself. This is similar to what a twin experiences, your other half seems to be in the shadow, hidden from your view, crossing paths with them, brings that realization to you and now in order to unite with them, you must first dissolve yourself and merge with that unconscious image of them. 

There is a reason why twins “mirror” each other; they are a reflection of you and vice versa. This is why every interaction with them strikes a nerve in you and you feel their absence like a phantom limb. 

If you’re on a twin flame journey or would like to know more about it, I suggest immersing yourself in Sufi philosophy. To a lay person, the Sufi concept of Love may seem dramatic and over the top but for those in the know, it will seem deeply familiar, because ultimately your longing and yearning for your “twin” is your innate longing to seek union with God/the Divine. We were all made in pairs and to know the other is to know God and to know God is to know Love.

These connections are presented to you in order for you to ascend. Why were you chosen for ascension over millions of others? That’s the divine plan, not up to us to question. It is entirely possible to meet such a person at a time in your life when you’re completely spiritually unevolved (this is very common) and they usually trigger your dark night of the soul. This leads to positive disintegration although nothing about this experience feels positive in any way, shape or form.

Actually uniting with your twin and sharing a life with them is a long shot. Its often an unrequited love. It requires A LOT of work by both people. There is a lifetime of purging, integration and inner work before union could ever be a possibility. Most people who use the term “twin flame” are using a fancy spiritual label to describe their excessive interest in someone. You don’t have a twin flame, you’re just manic. 

In Arabic literature, there are 7 stages to love, it is as follows:

1. Dilkashi or attraction

2. Uns or attachment

3. Mohabbat or love

4. Akidat or reverence 

5. Ibadat or worship

6. Junoon or madness

7. Maut or death

If you believe you’re experiencing a twin flame connection, you have probably gone through these stages, maybe not in this order but you’ve probably experienced all of these. 

You experience an inexplicable attraction that draws you to them, regardless of how far you stray from them, your heart clings to them & forms a deep attachment, even though you don't seem to understand it, you're consumed by love for them, without even knowing why, this love morphs itself into reverence and soon enough it's eclipsed even that & embedded itself as worship. Your feelings for them are so strong, intense and powerful even in separation, even in their absence that you feel yourself going mad. This madness is key because it brings you to the death of "self". You lose all sense of who you were before you met them. You're ripped of your ego. You die and die and die again, hoping to taste the love that will give life to you.

There are astrological indicators obviously but just because these aspects/placements are present, does not mean they are your twin flame. The biggest indicator is the deep sense of knowing you have in your soul, you don’t even have to know the word “twin flame”, you’re experiencing a magnetic, excruciating and tortuous kind of attraction. 

Some indicators:

1. Venus in 12h 

2. Venus in Scorpio

3. Primary Scorpio or Taurus placements (the Taurus-Scorpio axis creates the most intense chemistry between two people)

4. Moon conjunct Mars 

5. Opposite signs occupying many placements (Virgo-Pisces, Cancer-Capricorn, Gemini-Sagittarius)  

5. 7h synastry 

6. Bharani nakshatra 

Uniting with your twin can trigger your kundalini awakening. It is not for the faint of heart. Union is a very intense experience. Much has been said about twin flames and tantric sex. Imo? What we call Tantric sex is essentially the heightened feeling and intensity of sexual experience that a Tantric practice brings about. (its possible to feel this way with a non-twin if you have a disciplined Tantric practice). 

Sex is the source and root of everything. It is the cause of creation and nothing less than divine. Eros is the first god that could be conceived by man, he is the creator of all beings and ruler of the universe. He is son of Chaos, the original primeval emptiness of the universe.

Longing, desire and Eros, all go hand in hand. When your soul has longed for someone for so long, the sheer passion and enormity of desire will make it a very one of a kind experience. Short answer being that sex with your twin will be out of this world and life changing.

In Sufism, there is a concept called baqaa which is subsistence through God. Someone who has experienced fanaa, or annihilation of the ego and self, finds God, unites with him and sees him in everything. This is what love of a “twin flame” nature does. It is all consuming and potent, you cannot walk away from it, even brushing with it briefly, transforms you. It purifies you and strips you of your pride, shame, fears and everything that you thought was “you” but the reward for this is understanding through first hand knowledge, a love so all encompassing, expansive, deep and profound that it forever alters the way you look at the world. You begin to love everything and everyone because you’ve tasted true love and its generosity. 

Karmic Partnerships

These are extremely common and almost everyone has one. They need not strictly be romantic. Many non-romantic associations can be karmic. These people to put it very plainly, come into your life, to teach you lessons. They need not explicitly be “bad relationships” but the energy is definitely not light hearted and its absolutely not meant to last a lifetime. You are meant to learn your lessons and move on from them and break the karmic cycle. However there are people who do not do this and stay stuck in the same patterns and perpetuate the same cycles.

Some indicators of Karmic Partnerships in astrology:

1. 12h synastry

2. 8h synastry 

3. Saturn aspects 

4. Capricorn/Libra placements

Soulmates

These are the most wholesome, fulfilling bonds between two people. Soulmates need not always be romantic. The bond is kind of instant and inexplicable. You just get each other. It feels fulfilling, empowering and light. It fills you up. There is no angst and there’s no chaos. 

Some indicators:

1. Moon signs that are compatible with each other

2. Moon aspects that are positive

3. Venus-Ascendant aspects

4. 5h synastry

5. Strong Venus or Jupiter aspects

6. Element compatibility (fire & air vs water & earth)

🧜🏼‍♀️🧜🏼‍♀️🧜🏼‍♀️🧚🏼‍♂️🧚🏼‍♂️🧚🏼‍♂️🦋🦢🦢🦢🦋🧚🏼‍♂️🧚🏼‍♂️🧜🏼‍♀️🧜🏼‍♀️🧜🏼‍♀️🧜🏼‍♀️🧚🏼‍♀️🧚🏼‍♀️🧚🏼‍♀️🦋🦋🦢🦢🦢🧜🏼‍♀️🧜🏼‍♀️🧜🏼‍♀️

I’m sorry if I sound a little too esoteric on this post 😭😭😭idk how else to talk about this stuff and I tried my best to make it sound as simple as I could 😭I hope this was interesting and if you guys have any questions feel free to ask me💛💛

Further reading:

1. Plato’s Symposium

2. Sufi philosophy and poetry 

3. Carl Jung’s works

[darcytaylor]

Hello!

I would like your opinion in some topics about Luke that are kind driving me insane. Hope you can respond to it.

I think that for Luke, the press tour has a negative response. Before the tour, I thought him an adorable dork and genuine person. How Nicola would talk about him, how he used to portrait himself seemed such a nice person. I don't know if the lack of acknowledgement to Nicola, how she would always hype him up and he never had a compliment for her irked me.

During the tour things that I never associated to him became the things first in my mind when I see his photos or videos. Things likes indigenous, full of ego and jealous. How looks he doesn't care for the fans, for the people who depends on the show and who worked hard for it, for Nicola and even for his own hard work.

I don't even care he has a girlfriend. I don't ship him with Nicola because she deserve a mature partner and Like kind doesn't act his age. I would like to stop filing that way, because Colin e Penelope are my favorite book, and the way he's making me feel is ruining it for me. But I don't know how. Please give me your opinion.

Hey! I want to say that I am sorry you are feeling the way that you are. Disappointment is a strange thing, it makes you feel angry and sad all wrapped up together and it sucks!

I do see where you are coming from with how the promo tour brought light to a different version of what most people thought Luke was.

One of the things I mentioned in my deep dive into Luke's relationship was that so many people (Nicola included) said that Luke was most like his character. That alone is a lot to live up to. When you have a character (that I believe was made for the female gaze) that you yourself and other people say you are like, the expectations would be insane. I'm not shocked that when people started seeing cracks in that, people could/would be more disappointed than usual.

Another thing that people have been seeing is Nicola having exceeded all the expectations when it came to the promo tour. Nicola had a lot of people expecting her to not do a good job, people upset that she was the next season. But she showed everybody that she was worth it, that she deserved to be where she was, while also being a good person.

Luke did have hate come his way but not in the same way or as strong as Nicola. And because of that I think that Luke didn't feel as inclined to prove himself worthy.

(I'm not saying that either of them should have had to prove themselves, but when you have someone like Nicola doing just that, and Luke doing the bare minimum, it definitely cast a negative light towards Luke)

We also have to realize that Nicola is just better at building people up, she is better with words, she is better at communicating than Luke will ever be. So to expect the same from Luke, will ultimately cause disappointment and I believe is an unrealistic expectation for Luke.

You can see the anxiety coming off of Luke at times, and when you have anxiety it can make it way more difficult to say certain things, do certain things, act a certain way. I don't want to make excuses for Luke but I can see how that alone could effect how the public sees him, and it not be how he actually feels. So giving him a little grace when it comes to that, could be valid.

I think when you take a step back and understand that Luke is just a regular guy, with regular insecurities, it makes the situation a whole lot better and easier to understand. His actions have proved to me that he is insecure (getting into a relationship with a young adult, his friend group, his anxiety, his actions towards his career).

Sometimes when someone shows to have an inflated ego, it is actually their need to prove their worth and to mask their insecurities.

My advice to you is to try and not have expectations of people (especially ones we don't know), that way if they show a slight variation of the person you thought they were, you won't be disappointed. And you may find it easier to understand where they are coming from and find grace in their actions.

I do think that Luke has made SOOOO many mistakes in the last year. He has shown a different side of himself that his audience didn't know he had in him. But we also don't truly know him, we don't know the situations he has been in for him to act a certain way, or why he has chosen to do certain things.

He is also human, and humans make mistakes, they don't always act perfectly, they don't always make the correct decisions. But that doesn't make them a bad person, that just makes them human.

Accepting that Luke may not be the version you thought him to be and realizing that he can still have good and bad qualities (and accepting that), may help your situation of continuing to love Penelope and Colin.

I hope you can still love Penelope and Colin (and maybe it will just take some time), because they are such a great couple!

[iumblr]

Stedes response to Ed’s “I love you” being “I know” IS DRIVING ME INSANE. He does not know.

This whole show he has had crippling self esteem issues. He outwardly acts like he’s an amazing pirate while constantly thinking about how he’s awful at it. He was practically going to let Chauncey shoot him because he agreed with him . He told Ed’s wanted poster he left because he thought Ed was better off without him. Stede still blames himself for what happened with him.

When he truly confessed to Ed at the antique shop, he said Ed doesn’t have to say it back, partially because he didn’t want to rush him but also because he didn’t think he would. When Stede told him about the letters, he said they were “just bottles” as if it wasn’t a super important coping mechanism for him.

When he went back to his wife she ended up being way happier without him, so why wouldn’t Ed? EVEN HIS KIDS DIDNT LIKE HIM. One was pissed most of the time and the other forgot about him.

He has never had the direct respect of his crew or anyone for that matter which is why when he reached fame he unhealthily wallowed in it. He kept changing himself to be more likeable. And even after trying so hard to be likeable, his friends are superficial. Same thing happened when he went back home and everybody was intrigued by him for being a pirate. Nobody seems to like Stede for Stede.

When he killed Ned Lowe he slept with Ed instead of talking about it because all he knows is how to push down his feelings. Despite preaching talking it through, he doesn’t believe he deserves to. In fact, the only time hes ever talked to anybody about any of his trauma was when he ran The Revenge aground and talked about his hallucinations to the Native American guy.

His crew likes him now, but they haven’t said anything about it. Last time they said anything about his captaining directly to him was before he was hung in 1x02, saying he was a shit pirate, and Black Pete saying he thought of Blackbeard more as his captain than Stede.

He literally said in the finale that he was used to being a failure to Zheng.

In conclusion, no he does not know Ed loves him. Like he knows but he doesn’t know, y’know. This really irked me considering it’s such an important moment for Stede to hear he actually loves him and he was all like, “eh, I already know.”

[lindszeppelin]

Hi, I wanted to say I really enjoy your blog. I've been reading a lot of your past asks, and this feels like a place I can vent about things I've noticed in this fandom the last month.

I've had to unfollow so many Austin accounts on twitter in the last month. I've been following them for a long time and never really had an issue. But lately, in the last month especially, majority of them have been bringing up Kaia all the time. Anytime Austin talks about something or does something quote on quote 'sexy' they also quote it with 'Kaia I hope you can fight' or "Kaia's boyfriend"...that one really irks me. I'm a fan of Austin. I really don't care about Kaia. I've unfollowed most of the Austin stans on Twitter b/c it's too much of this. I really only followed because they have some good updates about Austin's projects or provide pics and videos of his press stuff. But they bring up Kaia all the damn time now. For no reason. I didn't think because we love Austin we have to love Kaia to? No thank you.

I came across your blog recently and it's been rather eye opening. I've been hot and cold about Austin and Kaia since I joined the fandom about a year ago. Sometimes they could be cute. But at the same time something about them has always been off. They just seem like they don't like each other most of the time? I understand couples want privacy, but this is far beyond that.

I've been looking through your blog, and a lot of what I'm reading here makes a lot of sense. I think what really made me question things was that People Magazine article that came out back in May. It came so out of left field. Because was anyone asking about their status as a couple? I didn't think they got press like that. Austin seems to not talk about her, ever. Usually if you really are in love and happy, you don't need to put a statement out there like that. To me that comes off like deflection and you're trying to hide something. It sounded like it came from Kaia's side. We were talking about it on reddit, and a lot of people agreed it seemed weird. Because they did look miserable together in NYC right before that.

Then a couple days later another article came out and it talked about how Austin and Kaia have nothing in common. I don't know how these things work but I immediately assumed that was coming from Austin's side of things. Especially reading some of the language used. The source said Austin's hopes and dreams are finally coming true. Austin has said that so many times recently. But it's a detail I feel like only fans would pick up on. Not the media. So it couldn't just be a fluff, gossip peice. It's actually legit from Austin's PR. I was like, "Oh wow. He really is not in love with this girl". The timing of all this felt very weird. I have a feeling they are headed for splitsville but again, I don't know how this stuff works. It's just been something I noticed.

Until I saw Kaia show up at the Bikeriders premiere in LA. Then I thought, "Oh maybe this is just gossip or something". Because the way that source wrote out that article and Austin seemed like he was ready to break up. But then he kisses her on the red carpet. Maybe he is happy? It's all so confusing lol.

Anyways, I know this is ridiculously long lol. I just wanted to say that I really enjoy your blog and the view points a lot of people seem to have. It's been hard to find a place in the fandom that doesn't bring up Kaia all the time. I couldn't care less about that girl. She is a model, nothing really else to say about her. Not enough to stan her. I mean people can do as they please. But it comes off very fake. I doubt Austin cares if you stan his girlfriend or not.

hi! im so glad that you have a safe space in my blog to look over things and vent freely. we as fans are not obligated to blindly like everybody that austin is around/is with. liking every single person he's with doesn't make you a good fan either. it just makes you a bit of an overachieving simp that blindly likes who austin likes just for brownie points. like who YOU like because YOU like them. we are fans of the person, not their entourage. so enjoy the person you're a fan of first and foremost. don't let anybody tell you anything else.

[stranger-rants]

sorry this is unprompted but it’s bothering me a lot—I love Eddie very much, but he pisses me off because it’s like he was written specifically to knock billy down a peg and make people hate him. aggravating (for different reasons but still), long curly haired metalheads from broken homes with few friends who both die to be “heroes” bc that’s all they were written for. but Billy’s actually fleshed out because Dacre fucking cares about him and relates to him on a level that none of us will ever know, and it was important to him to make it vehemently clear that Billy is not a villain for villain’s sake; he’s a deeply hurt and traumatized kid. people seemed to understand that better before s4 when Eddie came into the picture and is “better” because he’s personable. but he also lives with someone who actually loves him and treats him well. his trauma doesn’t follow him like Billy’s does. I hate that I can’t just like Eddie for Eddie, I have to also hate Billy and reprimand every little thing he’s ever done. I’m tired of feeling like I have to walk on eggshells looking through either of their tags; I can’t fucking filter everything to avoid indirects about either of them or their sub-fandoms. at this point it just feels intentional from the writers that Eddie is supposed to be Billy 2.0 because they wanted to write a better victim, not just that the fandom is perceiving him as one.

and I’m irked because I’m not, nor have I ever been, ashamed or embarrassed to love Billy, but now I am both about liking Eddie bc I feel like I have to make it clear that Billy was my #1 long before Eddie came into the picture. I don’t want antis to think I’m one of them if I fail to mention Billy in a post that’s not about him. not to mention the loud loud handful of jq’s fans that are unhealthily obsessed and make Eddie look even worse to outsiders. Eddie doesn’t even represent the whole “freak” thing at all anymore, he’s just a tool to prove that Billy is irredeemable which is a wild disservice to both characters and Dacre especially.

I think Eddie would have a lot of potential if he were written from good hands with good intentions instead of an addendum to Billy once they killed him off, and Billy deserves better from everybody—characters and showrunners alike

I strongly believe that The Duffers introduced Eddie for the wrong reasons - mainly to make money off of the fans and boost interest without having to keep him on the show. I don't like their intentions with the character, and I think a lot of Billy fans feel that the way people treat Eddie as a fandom darling and position him as a better version of Billy is annoying and shallow and hypocritical. So, that's where a lot of the dislike comes from. I, too, don't like a lot of mainstream Eddie fandom because they are rude and annoying and want to be catered to.

There's an Eddie who exists in my head who could exist in the show based on canon things he has said and done, and I like that Eddie better honestly flaws and all. I don't go looking for Eddie content because a lot of it is made by people I do not like. However, you should not have to put on a performance for any fan to prove you're a good fan. Just enjoy what you like, and ignore all the rest. Too many fans are afraid of liking Billy which is ridiculous, because the accusations people make against Billy fans are baseless... and if you like Eddie in Billy spaces, then so be it. There are people who might not like Eddie but you don't have to appeal to their likes or dislikes. You're your own person.

[whataphantasia]

ok late night thoughts abt the New Season

rambly and not all that accurate cuz i watched it right before i went to sleep tonight (spoilers obviously)

THERES A LOT OF THINGS IM HAPPY ABOUT... and not a lot thats irking me right now :Vc ig i wouldve loved more interaction and screentime from certain characters, but its like 10 episodes so far so I get it LOL

theres also like the very modern slang and writing (if anyone knows what i mean) which is rly funny to compare to the early seasons ^_^ im personally fine w the writing/jokes (at least for now)

the new characters and the new screentime for some s1 characters is SO GOOD.

gandalaria?!?! i need that old woman RIGHT NOW!!! 0///0

im glad we got more magic users (aka just one this season really) LOL i welcome magic and all its subtypes as a thing more prevalent in ninjago (especially after the merge)

bonzle... my beebo... scrunches her

cinders cute ^_^ i mean as a character. hes fine so far. wonder where ras even found him and why hes with him because it seems like cinder has a LOT he needs to sort out imo (seriously. "get rid of my last dregs of goodness." come on)

this seasons Evil Faction and Overlooming Threat are alright.. wonder what elements the forbidden 5 even are :Vc (natural questions that will be answered) theyre fine. i have mixed and complicated opinions on them right now

OH OH SPEAKINF OF IM REALLY HAPPY WYLDFIRE IS TALKING WITH THE REST OF THE GANG MORE (i felt like she only rly connected to kai and that he was her one tether to everyone else.. wonder how the rest of the episodes will go with him gone ehehe)

rontu and egalt ... cutesies ^_^ i have lots of feelings abt them but its mostly good. i very much welcome new characters and concepts (merge opens up a lot of opportunites, im rly curious abt source dragons)

JAYYYY JAYYYYYYYY COME BACK NOOOO THE ADMINISTRATION TOOK AWAY HIS AUDHD AND ARE FORCING HIM TO MASK (DEVASTATION)

okok i know theres more characters and concepts but ill stop there for now lol.

I LOVE THE ADMINISTRATION AS A CONCEPT. useless bureaucrats who were made in the realm of madness and are now causing problems for everyone across the realms due to the merge??? I LOVE USELESS COMPANIES IN FICTION!! god everything agent allen said about "nindroids not being personnel but property" makes me want to make a nindroid agent oc who's just like "I HATE THIS GOD DAMN JOB" (can you see a pattern in my latest favorite ocs. can you ALSO tell that the administration is my favorite season 1 episode. it has zane. it has jays reveal. it has all the agents. so cutesies)

EVERYONE wants jay to have more screentime. SERIOUSLY. i dont need to explain why everybody knows. hopefully hes coming up bc WHOOH nya going "hahha! jay would never forget me!" is living RENT FREE in my mind. also i saw fanart of ppl shipping jay and cinder when the first s2 promos came out so they BETTER INTERACT.

okokokok... that was fun. ill leave it at that ig (and reblog this if i have more to say idk)

looking back on this my thoughts r super basic but IDC. IM HAVING FUN. BYE.

[eclaire-went-bam]

warning. this post is gonna have a lot of over-explaining simple concepts anyone can observe in the show because i'm autistic thanks

also episode 8 hazbin spoilers

ft alastor homework doodle

someone's probably already said this, but regarding "finale" from hazbin hotel i like;; didn't watch it with subs bcs the service i used just didn't have them

& for the longest time i thought alastor's "and i barely escaped being killed by a hair" was actually "...killed by a hare"

i don't know if this specific wording was intentional or it's literally just me misinterpreting it, but it did made me think about alastor's death. the whole thing is that he was the hunter, before momentarily becoming the hunted. literally.

he went from the most dangerous thing in the woods (swamp?? marsh???) to the deer that gets hunted with ease, the whole being a deer thing is a reminder of that (which obviously isn't new news or anything)

moreover almost every scene he's in seems to be a struggle for the narrative, or for control, or for at least some unspoken acknowledgment that he is The Radio Demon — he does Not enjoy not being untouchable

he refers to most by "my dear" (my deer) — he sees most as potential prey or at least much more feeble/helpless & deer-like. maybe partially why he consistently helps mimzy, for example. he may not see her as a potential victim of his but he does acknowledge a power difference, which both invokes a sense of responsibility & a sense of pride/power when reinforced

but he refers to everyone in this way while also having a preference for vension. and also cannibalising rotting deer corpses. So like.

now back to the actual line. he went into the fight with adam, not even concerning himself with bringing an angelic weapon with him (despite it being clear angels can only be killed by such). yknow, weapons & beings associated with light, while alastor's powers are based in shadows. he thought he could do it alone, and failed. this was the the breaking point of his struggle for control that he's been shown to subtly be experiencing throughout the season. perhaps when everybody forgot about the radio demon, cognisant of the fact vox was broadcasting this attack, he believed he could show hell once again who he was.

(little note i think it's a cool detail that our framing shows alastor as all-powerful, everybody knows him, he's terrifying, and he definitely is terrifying, subtle interactions with those not as involved with our narrative, such as carmilla and lucifer, shows something slightly different. alastor has taken control of the way we see the show, namely himself)

and i mean what he did do was extremely impressive, but nobody's gonna mention that. he was shown, after 7 years, being bested, while being broadcasted by vox. Like !! that's a win to the v's

jesus christ tangential ok i'm just writing off the top of my head

but what's more feeble than a deer?? a ��Hare🎶

often hunted

though deer are prey, they can still be dangerous. they can still be intimidating. their antler's are dangerous. their hooves are too !!! those things KILL!!!!‼️‼️‼️

rabbits and the like?? not so much

is it possible that in these moments, alastor saw adam as that hare? talks big, but ultimately unimpressive? if so, how much would it utterly irk him that the hunter was bested by a hare?

anyways thank you for coming to my most delusional ted talk where i spent only the last 10% of this post getting to the point

[counttwinkula]

i gotta say that one of my least favorite things about the modern internet is the ease with which people just accept that an image exists without any thought of its provenance

like, the most obvious cases of this are when an illustration gets turned into a meme and spread across the internet without the consent of the creator

how many times have you seen the original form of a viral image spreading around tumblr with people reacting in shock and awe, "that's what the original said?"

and here's an example that makes my blood boil: remember the iconic "one fear" comic?

do you remember when someone removed the artist's signature, and then dozens of edits were spread with the words "one big meme" in its place?

it's like someone was out there trying to make my point for me: that once the image goes viral and becomes exploitable (as we called it back in the encyclopedia dramatica days) the artist's identity gets filed off of it

but the other half of this issue, which is the part that really just confounds me altogether, is better represented by the sculptor izumi kato. if you don't recognize the name, you may recognize a very specific photo of his work:

this photo of a work by kato (untitled, 2004) accompanied the original SCP creepypasta. in the years since SCP-173 was first posted this photograph and depictions of the character it inspired—a character whose physical appearance was taken directly from kato's art—has been spread far and wide across the internet's horror communities

(yes i know the SCP website has removed the image from the official website and i applaud that decision)

unlike teen comix, where any viewer immediately, if unconsciously, knows that this is a drawing and that therefore someone drew this, i think that the public does not have that same awareness when it comes to photographs

as many art critics have noted since the advent and spread of photography, the photograph occludes not only the concept of authorship (which is beyond the scope of this post), it also alienates the viewer from the idea of context—the image exists for its own sake, separated from the subject of said image

the internet is built on weird images spread without any sort of context, and i get that. i also know that i'm the kind of person who thinks about this stuff and not everybody is

(chris sharp, fire hydrant jack, ca. 2007)

what just makes me crazy is how people seem so willing to look at a picture and just think "i guess that exists" without taking a moment to think "someone must have made that"

and what irks me is how many blogs here—beloved blogs with tons of followers—repost and reblog this content without any thought put toward attribution when the item in question is obviously an art object. the blogs that come to my mind, and i do not say this with any malice, are ones that reframe the subjects of these photos within a D&D context, placing the focus on their "bit" and entirely eclipsing the artists whose works their blogs rely upon for content

the issue of attribution has become even more urgent because the efficacy of google's reverse image search function has plummeted

i cannot tell you how many times i have scoured the internet for any sort of image source for a work of art, wading through scores of pinterest and tumblr links, before suddenly finding the artist's name—or before declaring the whole matter a lost cause

that was when reverse image search was still useful, and nowadays for whatever reason (i am not knowledgeable enough to say why or how) it has ceased to be useful altogether. i have no idea what alternatives we have, and so i really think it falls on us to try to apply some code of ethics to this matter

i'm not saying i only reblog attributed images, i know that's basically impossible, but i am imploring people to at least think twice about this, and i am asking blogs with big follower counts that rely on other people's images to think about the impact they have on further distancing the art from its creator

[kaida427]

Recently, I said "I'm not superstitious, I just have OCD, which is basically the same thing." Ever since then, my compulsions have only reinforced that idea.

I can't pick up coins heads-down. I literally make other people flip them over for me, or I flip them myself for the next person.

I never ever step on the cracks or seams in pavement.

I take a certain amount of steps per slab of concrete in pavement. Four steps before reaching over the seam. This is surprisingly stressful. I take tiny steps to meet the quota or overreach my gait to get past the slab (sometimes I can't reach and I step on the seam and I CRINGE)

Other times, I feel sudden fear about myself. All these sudden check-ins about if I've suddenly turned into some horrible monster. Like I have to make sure I'm not attracted to somebody I shouldn't be. Never have, never will, but I'm still struck with a sudden panic. Am I a good person? Does everybody hate me? What time is it??? Am I late????? I can't be late!!!!!

The latter leads into something I call "Waiting Mode" or "Anticipatory Paralysis." I'm so afraid of being late that I can't do anything in the HOURS before a scheduled event.

Even the medicine I take has to be in a specific count. Nine pills, so I can count them one-two-three, one-two-three, one-two-three. I used to ration my medicine in different dosages so that I'd still take the correct amount but in a different number of pills.

I have tics, and I have to repeat them until it feels right, even if those tics involve me pulling my hair or knocking against the side of my head. Certain noises have to be done over and over despite the fact that it didn't really matter in order to "satisfy" the tic's urge.

I would also like to mention that I've been mistreated over my tics, and I feel the need to apologize for something I can't control. This amount of shame over my conditions is only worsened by the prolonged repetitions.

People calling themselves OCD when they're super neat always irked me. It makes me feel like I'm not good enough for the diagnosis, because they assume I must be super duper clean even though everything is a mess. I feel really ashamed of being messy, and it hurts a lot when people with my condition are seen as type-A neatfreaks with their life in pristine order.

This comic was really relieving to read, knowing that I'm not the only one feeling wronged by the outward portrayal.

Greetings bugs and worms!

This comic is a little different than what I usually do but I worked real hard on it—Maybe I'll make more infographic stuff in the future this ended up being fun. Hope you learned something new :)

If you are still curious and want to learn more about OCD, you can visit the International OCD Foundation's website. I also recommend this amazing TED ED video "Starving The Monster", which was my first introduction to the disorder and this video by John Green about his own experience with OCD.

The IOCDF's website can also help you find support groups, therapy, and has lots of online guides and resources as well if you or a loved one is struggling with the disorder. It is very comprehensive!

Reblog to teach your followers about OCD

(But also not reblogging doesn't make you evil, silly goose)

[ambroziadelphine]

Lucky Dove (Madara x reader x Izuna) Chapter 2

Masterlist

"Not exactly.." I said, scratching the back of my neck as he furrowed his brows at me.

"What are you not telling us?" He asked lowly, his eyes narrowed at me making me sigh.

"Can ya just calm the fuck down?" Dove snapped at him, I could have laughed at the surprise that flashed across his face at her harsh tone with him if it wasn't for the anxiety I felt at explaining this all. I felt like the adrenaline from when they got here and I found my brother again is wearing off, leaving me tired and wanting to sleep this off before trying to figure things out. "And the only thing we aren't tellin ya is the fact this world has a different version of Chakra and Jutsu. They are very different then what you'd know and is not something ye can simply train to learn to use. Ye need to have a specific gene to be able to use any superhuman or supernatural abilities." She explained making me internally sigh in relief. She knew a lot more about this then I did, it was one of the reasons Ian was so insistent she help me, since she had super abilities as a child and he figured I'd have them too given where I came from. He was right of course. He always was.

"So, how do we know if we have this gene?" Tobirama asked, he seemed calmer, but only slightly. I guess knowing he may not be completely defenseless here aside from his physical strength was a slightly more reassuring thought to him.

"We wait." Dove said, I could almost see the irritation coming over Tobirama again, his eye twitching slightly.

"So, we are just supposed to wait, for some kind of sign we may have these abilities? What even are they?" He asked again, Hashirama putting a hand on his shoulder as he had started to portray his disgruntled feelings into his tone. Dovie rolled her eyes at him, Hashirama sending her an apologetic look as she put a hand on her hip.

"The abilities are different for everybody. I've also never met anyone with the same powers. Sure, some can be similar, but no one can do everything another person can who has this gene given just how specific it is from person to person. Usually they come out during puberty, but seeing as you are all grown ass fuckin men, it might be different. So forgive me, but I don't fully know how this is going to fuckin work." She said before she paused and slowly turned to Madara. "I'd like you to be aware, if your thought's are loud enough, I can hear 'em." She said, his shoulders tensed, looking at her curiously for a moment before she sighed and pinched the bridge of her nose.

"I am going to regret letting you stay here, aren't I?" She asked him, he gave a slight chuckle, his eyes trailing up and down her figure making a fire flare in my chest. I didn't know whether I was angry at how he was looking at her because she was my best friend, or because of his audacity to think this was okay in any way to act around the woman who literally helped me from the brink of death. "Keep dreaming buddy. You're brother has already done that." She said, crossing her arms with a smirk as Madara looked at me.

"I thought you said you weren't dating her?" He asked me, my face heating up as Dovie laughed lightly.

"Dating? no." She said, I could feel my heart clench slightly at that making me furrow my brows slightly, shifting where I stood as the uncomfortable itch I felt in my chest irked me. "However, he is my best friend, and has probably seen me naked or topless more times then most of my past partners. At this point, it's really just a toss up of whether he makes a move on me or not. Either way, he's got more of a chance then you do." She said, now holding onto my arm as she leaned on me lightly. I could feel my whole body flood with heat at her words, both at the truth of it from all the times she's tried on clothes or outfits in front of me over the years, and the invitation at her words. I was sure my brain had short-circuited at this point with how hot my body was running. I could see Hashirama pull Tobirama toward their door, the latter eagerly accepting the opportunity to be away from my brother and I, but I didn't care, not answering as the elder brother wished us a good night. Madara stared at me for a moment from where I stood, my face bright red, Dovie hanging off my arm with a mischievous grin on her face as she looked at me.

"I think I broke 'im." She said after a moment making Madara laugh a little, nodding with a chuckle.

"It does appear so." He said, just as I finally pulled myself together, huffing as I looked away from the two.

"I hate you both." I said making them laugh, Dovie pulling my face down to kiss me on the cheek as I froze up all over again. She's done this before plenty of times and every. single. time. I freeze like this. I think she finds it amusing.

"Love ya too, Izu." She said, walking into the apartment as Madara shook his head.

"That girl is trouble." He chuckled, before he looked back up at me. "So.. Where will I be sleeping?" He asked making me blink for a moment before snapping back to reality basically.

"Oh, uh.. we have a guest room in our apartment we could turn into your room. It's right next to mine." I said, leading him inside the apartment as I tried to shake off the embarrassment I felt at acting like such a dumb fool the first day I see my brother again. 

--------------------

Our apartment was a decent size, a connecting kitchen and living room with sap green walls, high ceilings and big windows, even a small second level landing above the bright kitchen where Dove and I had all our books and she kept her small desk setup. All the apartments were basically replicas with minor differences like color which made it easy for us to show students what to expect when staying here. I showed Madara to his room, it wasn't huge but was pretty decent given the space, it was about 13 foot by 12.5 foot. The third apartment was one more set of stairs up and had the door to the roof up there as well, though it had a fence up top for the students safety, and a few tables and chairs along with a raised garden to reduce produce prices during the spring and summer. Students loves coming to our pumpkin carving nights in September and October, we liked partnering with a lot of farms and school to host workshops and events in the bar, which is why we had such a big lot for said bar.

We had managed to get quite far in life thus far, though that was largely due to Dovie's aunt Tori, she was great with connection and even better with business so she provided very useful and inciteful information and aid securing the right place. She also is our go to for if we need business advice and has been one of our main investors, even helping us to buy this place outright so we could just work on being owners and getting used to the bar business first. She really was like an angel. I showed Madara to his room and showed him the bathroom, it was weird seeing him alive again; drawings of him after my death and his reanimation were one thing, but seeing him alive fully in person.. It felt so surreal for him to be here, to talk to him again. A silence settled between us after I finished explaining everything, one that felt like it was almost burning with so many unanswered questions and the feelings of our reunion we still haven't been given the proper time to process given it just happened hours ago. I sighed as I looked at him, he stood there looking slightly awkward against the modern setting, looking around unsure as I'm sure culture shock started to set in like it did for me.

"We can make your room more comfortable for you as you stay here.. I know it's a lot different then what our old life was like, but I hope you don't think this place is too bad at least." I said quietly, chuckling slightly from where I stood just inside his room. He looked at me with an unreadable expression, he didn't look angry just.. lost almost, unsure of the world he's been forced into.

"How long did it take you to get used to things here?" He asked me after a moment, his question threw me off a little but I anticipated something like this I guess. I sighed and walked over to him, pulling him into a hug which made him stiffed, before slowly relaxing a bit.

"A while." I said quietly. "This world is confusing, but not impossible to understand. You've just got to trust that you actually have people to depend on now, this isn't just something you can do alone." I told him, he let out a deep sigh, nodding as we pulled apart from each other.

"Thank you." He said making me smile.

"You're my big brother, it's my job to be here to talk or listen to you." I said, before a playful smile came over my face. "Also, killing and hurting other people is a big no no here, so we might want to figure out how to get you to manage your short temper before you end up getting yourself arrested. At least until we have ID for you that we can use to actually bail you out." I chuckled, he looked kind of flustered as he turned away from me. I still had clear memory about how hot tempered Madara could be, and the manga and anime had just confirmed that had not been resolved at all, so we needed to get it in check quick.

"I suppose.. given all that's happened, you may be right." He said making me snicker.

"Uh hu." I muttered, chuckling at him before turning to the door. "I can get you some spare clothes I have. Warning you though, as you'll see from what Dovie wears on the daily, clothes are quite different here, if you haven't guessed." I said, gesturing to my own clothes before leaving to enter my room just down from his to grab a pair of sweatpants and an slightly oversized shirt I had; he definitely wouldn't be comfortable in my regular size shirts but luckily I like all my sweatpants on a looser fit so they should be fine. I walked back to Madara's door, knocking slightly to which he opened the ajar door as I held out the clean clothes to him.

"We can go get you your own clothes tomorrow, there's a few shops around here we'd be able to get everything at." I said as he inspected the clothes, the plain black t-shirt and light grey sweatpants seeming to satisfy the elder Uchiha. "Is there anything else you need?" I asked him, not wanting to overwhelm him but I wanted to know if there was anything I could do right now. I just got my big brother back, even if he's done terrible things, he's still my brother and I'm the only one he has to help him. I'm doing this because I think he deserves to be happy, not out of obligation because of who he is. Madara was quiet as he looked at the fabric in his hands, his dark eyes contemplative as his mouth was drawn into a line.

"After knowing everything I did.. why are you still helping me?" He asked quietly, and I finally understood the foreign look in his eyes; remorse. He felt remorse now that he was in front of me, realizing how I would have never wanted him to do what he did, not wanting him to cause the world pain like he had been put through. I looked at him and gave a deep sigh, putting my hands on his shoulders as I looked at his face.

"Because you are my brother. You are my family, and I want you to be happy." I said, finally he looked to meet my eyes, I could see the threat of water glazing over his eyes but knew he'd never let tears fall; it wasn't in my brother to cry in front of anyone, if at all. "I believe you can be happy here, but you need to put your anger aside. You don't have to keep fighting for your life here, you can just live." I told him honestly, he took a moment then sighed, and nodded slowly.

"Okay." He said making me smile.

"Good." I mused, before turning back to what I had originally asked. "Now, are you sure you don't need anything else? You did just, come back to life and all, so if you need food or water that's probably a good idea to get before sleeping." I informed him as his stomach on que growled loudly making him chuckle, nodding.

"Food sounds perfect right now." He said making me grin.

"Then get changed, and I'll make some food." I said, getting a nod from him as I left, closing the door behind me as I walked into the kitchen to see Dove already there making a quick meal. "I thought you already ate?" I asked her, she looked at me and sighed.

"Well, I figured Jack Frost and Jacob Black down the hall would probably be hungry as well as Madara, so I'm just about finished making something for them." She said, her nicknames for the Senju brothers making me laugh as I stood by her at the stove.

"I feel Hashirama may be more like that younger wolf guy then Jacob. Personality wise at least. The one played by Booboo Stewart." I said, looking at her hesitantly before I felt a surge of courage, putting my hands on her waist gently as I stood behind her. "And calling Tobirama Jack Frost is an insult to the winter spirit. He's scrooge, for sure." I told her causing her to let out a laugh, the comparisons quite accurate given the Senju brothers opposite personalities.

"Seth clearwater? Yea, he's definitely a closer fit. And I agree Tobirama would be a perfect scrooge, I doubt he'd like the holidays." She said, leaning back into me slightly as she continued cooking. I couldn't stop her words from echoing in my head though, was she really waiting for me to make a move? Did this count, or was she expecting a more forward move? I guess it wouldn't hurt to try a more direct approach..

"..What did you mean earlier?" I asked her quietly, ducking my head down as I lowered my voice in her ear. I felt her shudder which I took as a good sign, she made no move to pull away from me or stop me as I leaned my head down slightly further. "Do you really want me to make a move on you?" I asked her, gaining a little more confidence from her reactions when she suddenly turned around in my hold, staring up at me with a mischievous glint in her eyes.

"Why don't I answer this when we don't have your brother hanging just around the corner?" She asked making me blink before I too noticed the presence of the man stood just out of view from the kitchen.

"You can come out now."

[one-hell-of-otaku-is-here]

Evangelion 3.0 You can (not) redo be like... (my unfiltered reaction to the movie)

I am only cca 10 min in and I am already crying

WTF HAPPENED TO EVERYONE (but Kaworu bless his soul) I DONT LIKE THIS "GLOW UP"

This is some post post Apocalypse shit and NOBODY gives a shit for a boy who kind of scaed ur asses before and slept for like a long time and is confused af. Liek literally nobody like pm they are under an attack bit it looks like everybody blames Shinji for previous event (at least new guys) like ok without Kaworu everyone would be dead but who was supposed to know Adam and Lilith would fuse like this???

"Don't do anything" BRO MISATO-SAN???? AS INFJ (who's kind of similar to INFP's Shinji) that cold stare and words hurt me deeply

I can't believe I am saying this but I kind of liked anime series abs The end of EVA better than this

They even call my boy by some number as if he was some object. Excuse me he's treated as a criminal even though he technically didn't want to be and wanted to save everyone I AM SO MAD

Fine so we are getting our info...

Ya as I thought... 14 years passed... hahahha ofc they'd be a little mad but this is overdoing it... basically he'd die if he got too emotional lol (I wanna die and we didn't even get to Kaworu at this point he HAS to give my boi happiness)

Most depressing NGE arc... is 3.0

REI REI REI

KAWORU ON PIANO

And ofc Gendou is as same as ever lmao (this impact conversed him back to how he was in anime series Ig)

I wonder if NERV is still going to do Human instrumentality project Ig its kind of gives off these vibes (later I was right this didn't change ge anything for Gendou just made him even colder like he was written before)

OK so this Rei is different altogether from all pheromones versions. She's truly like a robot only following Gendou's orders

I feel so bad for Shinji.... rn he only has Kaworu who's obesssed with him obv but tbh at his position I'd take any friends I could get

My so long awaited gay moments I was waiting for are finally here - and the reason why I am still watching (ok that's a lie rn I do want to know how it ends)

"I was born to meet you= I love you" is making me swoon all over again

Well fuck Ig that answers what happened to everyone (the fact that freaking angel.had to show it to Mc is even more depressing)

Sometimes doing the right thing can cause massive destruction- a novel written by 3.0's Ikari Shinji

There is always hope - Big apause to the best character in this show I don't care what you think this is what we needed to hear

Fyutsuki trying to do right thing by talking to Shinji while giving us his lore lol (he should have done that sooner) but this will break him

OK so now that Shinji knows he didn't save this Rei he can't find excuse for tragedy he indirectly caused(and for which he shouldn't be blamed for remember SEELE is abs amwsyeb be the main villain of NGE. But I do understand bitterness of others)... so he's slowly losing his mind

HES TAKING HIS COLLAR ?it's scene I saw before when I spo8led myself) afabatvayzvahFga I can't be ever normal about Kawoshin

They're piloting together hahaha (Ig soon we'll see THE tragedy)

Bruh this looks bad (and yk it's bad when Kaworu is nervous)

Gadouh planned all this obv and now we're fucked (again) - but it's OK he'll be killed either way

Btw this is on side note: but I find Makinami kind of annoying in this movie - she's basically being little brat and too relaxed unlike Asuka who's in his war mode 24/7 and it irks me in bad way with that said

How did Kaworu not see this happening is beyond me

We're fighting new Adam Ig (I can't wait to watch theory on this so I'd understand all this better I feel like you're constantly confused how these angel awakening work)

Is there even anyone left to kill aside from WILLIE and what's left of NERV?? This is the second craziest shit I have seen after The end of NGE because ofc nobody can top that

Lololol

RIP Kaworu - we seen it coming but his last words>>>> dw your resting place will be entirety of the old world (this quote from Genshin is fitting for him rn)

Fourth impact averted at great cost fuck this was amazing

THAT ENDING SOMG ;-;-;-;;-;-;-;-;-; AGRESSIVELY ADDED TO MY SPOTIFY LIST

And so...

Bravo Anno you created a masterpiece that you always wanted. Now I can rest in peace before I watch Thrice upon time

[nightswithkookmin]

More Pictures of Tae and Jennie are out and at this point I'm kinda feeling bad for taekookers, at the same time they had it coming, shipping a ship that was barely there in the first place Vope was more realer than taekook that's how much content tae kook had. But anyways I'm starting to approve of Tae and Jennie before I was like hell no but now I don't mind it, do I think he could do better yes but at the end of the day it's his happiness, and that I approve of.

Oops I'm dead again

I knew they were fucked the moment it was with miss Jennie. Poor tuktukkers🥲

It breaks my heart for them

Its them coming up eith elaborate theories to explain why JK's brother allowed Jikook tags on his page for me. That was the last straw

Claiming the original poster unarchived her post- if all it takes for tags to show up on his page is to unarchive posts he's already tagged in, why don't yall unarchive your posts as well?? You know you want to

The lies they tell on Beyonce's internet.

About these two.

You know I saw one tuktukkers on my timeline saying they believe the dating rumors now but the leg and nose in the photos don't look like Tae at all....

To be honest I think Hybe needs to put all this to rest now. Confirm it or deny it and let us move on with our lives. I'm getting tired of saesangs putting their relationship in my face every few sec. They screwing. Cool. Know who else is screwing? EVERYBODY.

This is getting too much attention than it should. And it's becoming too much of new old news every single minute. It's like they don't want us to forget and the minute it dies down it circles back up. Which saesang has the time to orchestrate something like this? Serving tea one teaspoon full at a time?

Feels like a whole marketing ploy.

It was shocking, titillating the first few times, now it's just plain annoying.

And I'm gay. I do not want to hear nothing bout heterosexual people on my timeline always

Make it stop. Hybe. End it please. I can't take it anymore. They broken my ear with it😫

This certainly isn't my favorite couple reveal moment and this whole trajectory of the reveal leaves such a poor taste in my mouth. They are not being photographed on the streets by paparazzi or even being outed by owners of the places they staying. No. These are images ordinarily no one but them would have access to💀

And they all going about their lives like it's the most normal thing. When one word from either of them and both camps would nip this. Just one word.

If it was privacy invasion I know HYBE WOULD HAVE SLAPPED WHOEVER IS BEHIND IT WITH A SUIT. Tae would have cussed them out himself. Someone from both camps is behind it with their blessings. I said it.

People want to act like everyone wants to hide their relationship when it's like but if you've ever been in love especially the first time you just want to shout it to the whole world💀 Free Jikook in gcf.

I take little to no stock whatsoever in their dynamic. But out of love and respect for Taehyung I wish them well. Wish he's happy.

Tae deserves to be happy. If she makes him happy and he makes her happy- which he will cos I know that man a lover and she's very lucky to have him. Very, very lucky. Not sure I can say same for her cos I don't know her like that. Let's hope she does else I'm rallying up tuktukker's and starting a riot.

You'd be surprised how many people will lose interest in them the moment they confirm it. I'm here for BTS, to support their music and make them rich at my expense, what they do in their private capacity with private persons and persons outside BTS is none of my business.

But this whole Romeo and juliet trope they have going on irks me. They out there living their best forbidden love romance trope life thinking we don't want to see them together- like no. We just don't care 🤷🏾

Some of us just don't care at all😫

Miss Jennie lost her wow factor two public relationships ago for us to care who she dates anymore sorry💀

Then on the other hand, because this is Tae's first public relationship we care so much and have so many judgements to pass cos in our eyes no one deserves Tae but us🥺

But we do see the power couple potential they have😏

I just wish Jennie was Tae's second public relationship not his first.

Their shippers must be so happy 😊

That said, if Namjoon wanna date someone say tall, skinny, Asian, female, who is into pilates👀

Anyway this has been a rather satisfying jikook karma moment 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

I'll be in tuktukland all day🥳

[aquanova99]

Have you ever done this? Headcanons for Felix with a mate that is deathly afraid of him? I feel like even if they were another vampire, the fear could be there. If you haven’t, may I have some please? I love how you write for him. 🤍

Not you wanting to break his heart 😭😭 and therefore mine in the process. This question is too good and deep for me to not answer. God this is going to hurt, but if I’m sad I’m taking everybody with me

Edit: wow this was so much longer than I intended I should have just wrote a short fic at this point

Someone tell me why it’s actually hard to write this 😭 damn I’m going to have to have some backstory

You were created shortly before the Romanian Coven was diminished. Your creator had been focused on making as many newborns as possible and was killed before the venoms effects had completely taken over.

You were found by a nomad who had had his coven destroyed for breaking the law, you were completely unaware of this but he instills that fear in purpose to make you a loyal coven member. This nomad is malicious in every way telling you he will send you to the volturi unless you do what he wants

So needless to say when they run across you on a mission you are TERRIFIED

You saw the black capes you had heard so many stories about and you immediately curl into yourself and try to hide as if they couldn’t find you

Unfortunately for the both of you, Felix saw you first and even though you both felt the mate bond you started whimpering at the sight of them, your creator fleeing as quick as he could. Felix tried to come close to you

“It’s alright little one—“

“Please I didn’t do anything…don’t hurt me.”

The sight of you recoiling literally shatters Felixs heart. SHATTERS IT.

Felix is about to let you go but Demetri tells him how difficult the mate pull will be for the both of you. Jane was beginning to get impatient because she had been ready to go home. She offered to get Chelsea, you’d heard about her too and all you could was shake your head

Felix’s growl at Jane surprised you, you didn’t understand why they would want you to come to Volterra anyway. Alec offers to stay with you while they go get Aro and Marcus.

You’ve heard all about them from the vampire you were living with so no matter what Alec says to try and calm you down you are frozen in place. It isn’t until Aro comes that they figure out why you’re so frightened

Yes you hold your hand out for Aro, you value your life thank you very much

Marcus for some reason is able to calm you down enough and takes you out of earshot to convince you to come to the castle

You go hesitantly because as curious as you are about Felix, you had been told about him. The only vampire to never lose a fight, no technical power yet still strong enough to maintain a position in the volturi. He was known as the executioner. You shouldn’t get near him. No matter how much you wanted to.

Felix has always more of a flirty nature he’s actually very charming but after your first encounter he makes sure to keep his distance. He also makes sure to not try and give off the impression that he would flirt with anyone when his interest is on you.

He still wants to try and win you over but he knows it’s going to take a while and he will take his time he couldn’t handle rejection a second time

But poor thing literally can’t even talk to you, which for whatever reason is really bothering you. You can’t be scared of someone who doesn’t talk to you that’s ridiculous.

Besides that your first friend in the castle was Heidi and she had nothing BUT good things to say about Felix, the she talked about him irked you, if only for a bit. She assured you he had no interest in her, which was crazy because she’s gorgeous. But it did make you feel better and you hated it.

Then one day Heidi got a bouquet of roses from someone on the tour “I hate when they do this.” She said “they never even ask what kinds of flowers I like.” You find yourself telling her you agree and that you would prefer something like sunflowers

Lucky for Felix he’s been trying to listen to everything about you, and this is where it gets good folks because the next morning you find a bouquet of some beautiful sunflowers in the morning, and he makes sure to replace them when needed to. You found out about it after asking Heidi who had no idea where they came from (yeah, okay)

Your curiosity almost got the better of you but before you could ask Felix Demetri and the twins were sent out on a mission, the longer you stayed with the volturi the more you understood why they did what they did. Which meant now you were terrified something might go wrong

And it did. The group was separated and Felix had been ambushed, one of the guys managing to break an arm and Felix was pissed. They had managed to still take everyone out but that’s as close to losing as Felix gets. He’s sullen when he gets back to the castle, Demetri and the twins tell Heidi what happened and you almost immediately burst into tears. Any more newborns and Felix could have been outnumbered

You find him laying down on the bed in his room. Another thing he thought of to make you comfortable, you realize. You know he knows it’s you but he doesn’t open his eyes. He just continues to rest on his bed.

You sit down next to him and rest your hand on his arm, you feel him stiffen at your touch and you start to wonder how you were ever scared of him. He looked so vulnerable like this. His reaction to your touch wracks you with guilt you didn’t know was possible to feel for a member of the volturi. You feel yourself start to get upset again and without thinking you just fall into him, resting your head on his chest.

Words really aren’t needed and this is kinda what he’s been waiting for. He slowly arms his arms around you and when you don’t move he squeezes you as hard as he can. You bury your head into his neck and just lay there as long as you can. Because while neither of you say anything you both need eachother right now.

You can’t help but tears fall from your face and you suddenly start apologizing for how badly you misjudged him, he shushes you and tries to calm you down because he’s glad you’ve changed his mind about him

From then on your relationship improves tremendously, all of your friendships with the volturi grow. Felix continues to go at whatever pace your comfortable with and will make you tell him when it’s okay for him to kiss you, etc.

This man is NOT risking losing you anytime soon

Which you appreciate but dammit you wish you had never listened to that nomad and found out about the volturi yourself

Your relationship becomes easy, you know Felix will always have a fear of you being afraid of him again just like he knows your afraid of him being hurt because of that one time. Still, because of that day the two of you find yourself being able to communicate with just a glance or look. This doesn’t mean

It doesn’t drives everyone in the castle sick honestly because you two are adorable. Always smirking at eachother with inside jokes and always and I mean always touching eachother outside of trials. Felix is not about to let you out of his sight if he can help it.

You don’t mind because he has to go on missions quite a bit and it drives your anxiety up the wall, you want to request to go out on missions with him but the kings don’t want Felix to be distracted, which, fair.