#i know I've been offline a lot lately

[sailorgrams]

Rent and Bill Help

So this month I haven't been able to get nearly as many delivery jobs as I'd hoped. Either the blocks available were in the pitch black where I couldn't see to drive, they were quickly snatched up, or we didn't have any packages.

I also came down with a bad cold or the flu and have been unable to leave home the past 2 days. Unfortunately this type of job means I don't get paid sick time; I only get money for deliveries I complete.

With the amount of gas I've had to buy for work cutting into the money I've been putting away for February's bills, I'm not sure I'll have enough for rent...

If you can afford to, please consider donating! Even $5 will help!

And if you can't, please help me share this by reblogging!

I will still try to pick up as many blocks as possible, but it's difficult when there are no packages to deliver!

Also, I am working on a printable template for my buttonmaker, so I can add some to my shop! There are stickers available there currently, if you would like to support me and get something for yourself!

Have some pictures of a pretty scarf I knit for my step sister

[sysig]

Your Weekly TV Guide

On Monday you can expect:

2:30 PM: Skeleton Zine

And Tuesday:

2:30 PM: Sonas ft. Undertale

Wednesday:

2:30 PM: Halfway Autumn

Thursday:

2:30 PM: Handplates

Friday:

2:30 PM: Sona reacts to Handplates

Saturday:

2:30 PM: Undertale (Handplates?)

Sunday:

2:30 PM: Handplates

Thanks for tuning in! (Patreon)

[infamous-if]

April ✮ 1 ✮ 2024 – update

Hello everyone! Happy (late) Easter and Trans Visibility day! I was offline a bit so apologies for not saying that yesterday.

It's April! And I've gotten such great feedback on the prologue! I'm super happy that everyone liked the additions and changes made in the prologue. It's going to make MC much stronger as a character I feel, and I'm excited to use that in the future. Knowing the entire story gives me a bit of an edge on knowing how things will impact what and since I can't share anything I will say that what I changed in the prologue will make future chapters MUCH better. Especially the later ones...guess you'll have to wait until CH 15 to see (lol).

I know I've been a bit late on beta testers, I've just had a lot on my plate. I've already created the beta testing discord and I'm finishing that this month in anticipation for the CH 1 rewrite, which I'm finishing in April if all continues to go well. Like the prologue, it will be dropped on Patreon as well. As well as the rest of the Valentine's Day stuff.

That's all! Chapter 1 is nearly done and it's April 1st so i'm optimistic. Chapter 2 is a whole other behemoth due to how big it is and how much I sort of want to change it, but we'll see! I've been working on Chapter 3 on my off time so once those are done Chapter 3 shouldn't take too long. I always say this but just know, I am working on it! I don't want a lot of time to go by between the Chapter 2 rewrite and the Chapter 3 release so I'm writing with that in mind :)

April To-Do:

beta testers

finish chapter 1 and release to beta testers/patrons

Patreon content

rewrite chapter 2

continue writing chapter 3

Have a good day and have a great April!

[utahlive]

Announcement

Hello UtahLIVE viewers, I have come before you today to talk a bit about recent events and how they will impact the future of this blog. Apologies this note is a bit long, but I would really appreciate it if you took some time to read this.

As I'm sure many of you know, within the past month Wilbur Soot/William Gold has been outed as an abuser. I want to make it clear right now that I no longer support him, nor do I accept his apology (mainly because it's not mine to accept in the first place). I stand with and believe Shelby and Alice 100%. This goes for any other victims that have or will come forward that I am unaware of, since I've been trying my best to stay offline. This aint about me!! But it's still hard when someone you look up to and who inspired you to create art turns out to be a shitbag. If you were somehow unaware of this, please go watch Shelby/Shubble's stream (VOD + transcript) and read Alice's post (and mind the CW/TWs) for more information.

This blog has brought me a lot of grief because of all of this. I do not want to support or perpetuate this man's image, but at the same time, I don't want to discontinue a story that I've put so much time and effort into. After a lot of deliberation, I've decided that I am going to continue this story until the end. I will also be adding a disclaimer in the pinned post, and I will no longer be tagging any of my posts from here on out with #wilbur soot or any adjacent tags. I don't think it's fair to myself or to anyone else who has enjoyed this blog to waste all the hard work that I have put in, because ultimately this is my project and my story, not his. If you disagree with this, I totally get it, but I ask you to just unfollow and/or block rather than sending me any hate because I promise you that whatever you say about me "supporting" Wilbur Soot by continuing this blog is something I've already considered myself. He is not (active) on Tumblr, he did not receive any of the money I got from stickers, I doubt anyone is looking at this blog and thinking "wow this Wilbur guy seems cool, let me go listen to his music and watch his vods".

Despite this decision, I'll probably still be taking a bit of time to myself to think about things and focus on school. Updates will likely resume in late March or early April.

I hope you can all respect my stance on this, and I want to reiterate how much I appreciate you all for supporting my work. Love you guys <3

[lazywitchling]

So here's the thing, right? I keep looking through my own blog going "Hey! Where's the witchy content?" (the-- the 'where's the cream filling' commercials? anyone? no? I'm just old? okay.)

I've made a few posts over the past little while that boil down to "blogging about witchery gets hard once it gets more specific". At some point, my craft got so personalized to me, interacting with my own familiar spirit, building my own astral space and figuring out a whole paradigm there about bridges and astral space and liminal space and imagination... there's just so much that I can't really *share* and have it applicable to anyone else but me, you know? So in a slow-but-steady snowball effect, I've wound up going pretty radio silent over here at lazywitchling dot tumblr dot com. I'm still witching in a way, but it's been a lot more reading and information gathering lately. Less active work and more passive learning.

It's hard to talk about the information gathering process, especially when a lot of that has moved offline. It was easy to share all the things I was learning when I was first starting out, because all the things I was learning came from here. It was easy enough to hit the reblog button, share a post to my blog, and tag it so I could find it again later. As a consequence, other people were able to find content through my blog too. But now I'm spending more time reading books offline, taking notes in a physical notebook, sitting quietly in the dark with my eyes closed having conversations with a spirit consisting of vague impressions and images, waving a pendulum at a dusty old building corner and asking The Thing That's There if it wants to stay or leave.

So what do I do about this radio silence? SHOULD I do anything about it? The other thing is that I've seen so so so many witches over the years of this webbed site just disappear, then come back years later with a lot of fanfare and "I'M BACK, BABY!" and then they just... stop posting again after a month. So something about making the big "I've decided to post more!" announcement just doesn't work. You gotta have reason to start posting more, not just the desire to, yaknow?

What do I talk about, then? Vague updates about the astral space I'm building? Perhaps a few more stories of the conversations with J (my familiar)? More vague updates of me screeching at witch books? (I know y'all love that last one!)

Something. idk what, but something.

Anyway. Hi. I'm Jes. It's short for Jester. How's it going?

[thezombieprostitute]

Tech Tuesday: Curtis Everett

Summary: Curtis decides to take the next step and ask if you're willing to meet offline.

A/N: Reader is female. No physical descriptors used.

Warnings: None that I can tell. Please let me know if I missed any.

Part 2

Curtis flops into his office chair after telling Steve to get Bucky back here. He should be upset because Bucky was wasting time getting a fancy coffee when he knew Curtis would be finishing up the code today. Instead, he takes the opportunity to grab his phone and chat with you.

Snowpiercer85: I hope you're having a better day today.

Unsurprisingly it takes a few minutes for you to respond.

HeartMonitor3000: better now that we're chatting.

Curtis feels his cheeks heat up.

Snow: Is that asshole student still on your floor?

Heart: sadly, yes. But at least we've only gotta deal with him for another month.

Snow: Oh?

Heart: that's when his rotation ends. a few of us are planning a small celebration once he's gone.

Curtis chuckles at that. He figures working as a nurse like you do is stressful enough but having some upstart med student whose parents made a big donation definitely made it worse.

Snow: By the way, been missing you on the server. Too tired to play?

Heart: no. I gotta get my computer fixed.

Snow: What's wrong with it?

Heart: I don't know, that's why I need to take it in.

Snow: You know I work in IT, right? What's going on with it?

Heart: the damn thing keeps freezing on me. I'll be in the middle of a game and suddenly everything just stops.

Snow: "Stops" as in "goes black"?

Heart: stops as in no sound, no mouse, no keys, nothing.

Curtis's heart leaps in his chest. This is an opportunity he's been looking for: a chance to meet you in person. He's wanted to meet you offline for months now but knows that it can be a touchy subject for a lot of reasons. He takes a few breaths to think about how to put it so he doesn't scare you off.

Snow: I've got some ideas what could be wrong but I'd need to look at it to be sure. Feel free to say "no" but, if you'd be willing to meet up at the library or something? Maybe even a park? Or the mall?

He tries to not take it to heart when you don't respond right away. You're a nurse. This is a potentially big deal. It's understandable you'd need time to answer him. Right? But after a few hours he's starting to lose hope and starts mentally berating himself for fucking things up. He's trying to work but he can't focus so he stuffs his phone into his pocket and goes for a walk around the building.

After a couple of laps he hears his phone ding. He checks and sees it's a message from you.

Heart: Tomorrow at the coffee shop across from the main library. 3PM.

Part 2

Tech Tuesdays Masterlist

Tagging @alicedopey; @delicatebarness; @ellethespaceunicorn; @icefrozendeadlyqueen; @jaqui-has-a-conspiracy-theory; @late-to-the-party-81; @lokislady82 ; @peyton-warren @ronearoundblindly; @stellar-solar-flare

[humanitys-strongest-bamf]

Fic authors self rec! When you get this, reply with your favorite five fics that you've written, then pass on to at least five other writers. Spread the self-love ❤️ (i dont know if you've already done it due to being offline for a few days, apologies if so! <3)

hi!!! i think this ask was floating around a few weeks ago so some of these are repeats, but i guess extra boosts don't hurt 😅 i hope you're doing well!! sorry for the late response skdjfksd

➼ "get me a damned matcha" - longfic, college x coffeeshop x modern!au

Yes, I just HAD to include this one! It's my baby and one of the few things I've made that I'm actually proud of, even if it's just for the fact that I've actually finished it lmao. I think it's been long enough since I've finished it that I might reread it myself since it is uh, quite self-indulgent and is definitely comforting for me 😅

➼ Needy Little Brat - Post-War!Dadvi

Just a drabble, but I think Levi chasing after his toddler is adorable so I'm including it

➼ Don't Leave Me - Canonverse Angst

Y'know, sometimes you wake up and choose violence, and I chose to write an angst piece that had some people curse me out because they were too sad at the end LMAO

➼ Your Safe Space - Hurt/Comfort

I struggle with emotion regulation because I'm either overcontrolled and stoic one minute and then absolutely off-the-rails and getting triggered by everything the next (thanks mental illness). Anyway, I wrote a piece on it where Levi gives you a safe space to let your emotions out and it's a comfort fic for me

➼ Your Worth - Canonverse Hurt/Comfort

I feel like a lot of us need this!!! I struggle a lot with feeling like I don't have a niche talent or like, am not the one to go to for knowledge/help on certain things. Whatever I think I'm good at, there's always someone better, and I'm always chasing this goal of proficiency that I never seem to be able to reach. So I wrote Levi helping you process through that and realize your own worth independent of external validation 🥺

[dangerousartisanwerewolf]

To all the Americans on tumblr rn...

I am not American, nor am I old enough to vote yet as I missed being the legal voting age for my province by only about a week- curse my extremely late birthday.

(which weirdly enough has also had such an incredibly tight election that they are still counting the votes right now even though it happened 2 weeks ago because the two parties are basically tied. }

but I am also very worried for you guys way down south. Hopefully America will put the right person into power this time and everything ends up being ok for you all. Not to be too cliché but I am sending thoughts and prayers and I hope you guys all stay safe down there. I honestly can't even imagine how you guys fell- I don't even live there and I've been feeling increasingly nauseous as the hours go by and I have had to offline for the most of the day.

Remember:

To take care of yourselves. Just in general, in whatever way you see fit

You absolutely do not have to live stream the election polling/results thing on TV, doom scroll election content the whole day long, watch the news, or consume any other election related content. As horrible as it feels to say this; the results will be the same regardless of whether or not you are watching it. Sometimes it is just better for you and your mental health to just log off of sm/screens for the night

If it all does feel like its getting too much for you, please log off/take a sm/screentime break

Most importantly, if you haven't already, please vote!!!! I am not American and am barley old enough to be considered a legal voter (Missed my own countries election *tears*) so I can't really help in terms of providing resources but I am sure there are all sorts that can help you I'm sure. I know that its getting late at night; some polls have closed already but not as many as you would think. I found out that most are actually open way later than I thought. As it turns out, some are even open til 1! You learn something new every day I guess!

Just Please, Please, Please go out and cast your ballot and make your voice known, with how close this is quite literally every voice matters!!! GO VOTE!!!

Poll closing times in case you need it (I only included ones that close 8pm and upwards because it is 7:30 at the time of writing this)

8 p.m. ET

Alabama

Connecticut

Delaware

District of Columbia

Florida (Polls in Eastern time zone close at 7 p.m. ET; part of Panhandle are in Central time zone)

Illinois

Maine

Maryland

Massachusetts

Mississippi

Missouri

New Hampshire (Polling hours vary by municipality and are listed by location here)

New Jersey

Oklahoma

Pennsylvania

Rhode Island

Tennessee

8:30 p.m. ET

Arkansas

9 p.m. ET

Arizona

Colorado

Iowa

Kansas (Polling locations close at 8 p.m. ET in all except four counties in the west)

Louisiana

Michigan (Polling locations close at 8 p.m. ET in all except four counties)

Minnesota

Nebraska

New Mexico

New York

North Dakota (Polls close at 8 p.m. ET in all but eight counties)

South Dakota (Polls close at 8 p.m. ET in the east)

Texas (Polls close at 8 p.m. ET for most of the state except three counties in the west)

Wisconsin

Wyoming

10 p.m. ET

Montana

Nevada (The polling location at City Hall in West Wendover closes at 9 p.m. ET)

Utah

11 p.m. ET

California

Idaho (Polling locations in the south close at 10 p.m. ET)

Oregon (Polling locations in Malheur County close at 10 p.m. ET)

Washington

12 a.m. ET

Hawaii

1 a.m. ET

Alaska (Polling locations close at 12 a.m. with the exception of Adak)

I'm not really sure what other useful info I could put as I don't know much about America or it's electoral system but I hope that helps.

A lot of people I have seen have been posting about how they feel sick to their stomach's and that they can't get off the news and how they just feel terrible so...

Things you can do to distract yourself for the rest of the night (And possibly the next few days, idk how long it takes to count votes)

Have an early bedtime/take a late nap (Only go to bed after 9 at least though, otherwise you'll mess up your sleep schedule and make you feel worse.) Just sleep your way througb it if you cant help it.

To add on to point one I often use asmr if I can't fall asleep right away/to distract myself. My favorites are: Jaden Aliana Asmr, Oceans Asmr, Kaitlynn Reha asmr, and my absolute favorite Goodnight Moon ASMR (Check out her babble brook, 1920's, or valley girl series')

Listen to a podcast (I like Rotten Mango- informative true crime, Buzzfeed unsolved- funny true crime/ghost hunting, Look behind you- also true crime, and Chris Chan; a comprehensive history)

Never too late for some cleaning! Clean your house, bathroom, bedroom, closet, do a deep clean.

If your a student like me- do your schoolwork! I know you have some studying or homework that needs to be done! Get on it!! I use the pomodoro method if that does anything

Have a self care night- do an everything shower or fancy bath, make facemasks, mani pedi's ect.

Watch a movie or marathon t.v shows you love/that are comfort shows (Some of my comfort shows are; Bobs burgers, Gravity falls, the moomins 1990, the office, what we do in the shadows, black books, derry girls, moone boy, and all creatures great and small and M.A.S.H. Some of my comfort movies are; Little women, the cornetto trilogy, Emma, Legally blonde, Pride and Prejudice)

Never too late for some cooking! One of my favorite hobbies is cooking and baking (Mostly baking) Make some chocolate chip and snickerdoodle cookies, muffins, cupcakes or try a fun cake.

Go for a night walk! Just make sure you bring a buddy and some flashlights of you're in total darkness like I am right now. (Love me a Canadian fall! Already snow where I am so of course that means everyone now needs to immediately put up Christmas decorations lol. At least the lights are nice at night)

Spend time with loved ones. Call or text a friend, spend time with your family, roommates, whoever. If your on campus at a uni see if there's literally any activities or clubs open at this hour you can go to

Read. I know you have a tbr you keep meaning to get to

Go on a research rabbit hole about something interesting. Try to learn something new. Some topics to get you started relating to where I live cause why not; Try to learn about : The Animals of Canada, Indigenous cultures and peoples of Canada- ex: try to learn some Cree or Halqemeylem phrases, try to memorize all of our provinces and territories.

Get through any chores you still have to do

Make/do something creative: Play an instrument, record a song, make a collage, paint, draw

Play some music, listen to your favorite songs on loop (Spotify's still collecting data for wrapped!)

Download a videogame on your phone- just one to pass the time even if its total addictive trash. Some ones I like: Moomin town- Idle, relaxing, town building, slowpaced, free, Miriam webster quizitative- free, wordgames, has an end to it, Toca boca hair salon- not free, hair salon game, endless, Toca boca town- not free but there are dupes, dollhouse game, bird bnb- townbuilding, slowpaced, as well theres all sorts of cute isle cat games; I like the grocery store and cafe ones

Make sure to:

Drink water

Eat at regular intervals

take breaks from screens (It'll hurt ya eyes)

get some sleep at some point

Don't sleep all day (Try to get up at a normal time)

if you feel like you need- put screen time limits on your phone. Or as well, turn down the brightness if you feel you have to doom scroll.

That's all for now. Hope you guys are doing ok and that the results are what we are all hoping for. Just know that you are in pretty much everyone's minds and we are all thinking of you (Even if we don't live in America). Stay safe and take care of yourself and your mental health.

Love, thoughts, prayers, and support from Canada/Tumblr and have a good night.

Congrats if you managed to get through this absolute brick of text. I commend you. I'll probably check back in tomorrow.

[peaceloveandstarrs]

2024 was.... something. Here goes... VERY long post b/c this year was A LOT. But in about 9 hours it'll be in the past! so!

I had the worst work year I've had; it was my first as a lead, a brand new curriculum, and assistants who were hard to open up to. And my boss was telling me it was on me to open up to them. Not quite right. They needed to open up to me too. They ended up leaving, and now I've got one of my good friends working with me, she's a huge help. I had a lot of struggles with constructive criticism - my brain takes it as SEE YOU AREN'T GOOD ENOUGH... definitely still working on that too. People at work want to help me, not put me down. I'm still building my confidence there, but I will get there!

Personally - I still dealt with a lot of the anxiety. I had a massive falling out with my former best friend, Cherry. And yes, it was my fault. I know I'll never get to apologize, but my biggest task here is forgiving myself. What I did was a product of being unhealed; now I know better. I still miss her sometimes, but I know I'll be okay. Something that happened caused me to fall out with Mel, but luckily we've been able to rekindle and now things are stronger than ever. Forgive and forget. I'm so happy to have her back in my life - she's one of my biggest cheerleaders!!! I love you! I also strengthened friendships with Bridge (I dunno your real name), Renee, and made new friends! I'm working on coming out of my shell... I'm not nearly as bad as my anxiety makes me out to be.

And with Matt, things are amazing <3 we're both taking steps towards getting ready for the next chapter... so one day in 2025 you might see me post a ring!!! ;) he's my biggest offline supporter, and I wonder every day how I got lucky enough to find him. I love him dearly and I can't wait to see where life takes us in 2025.

Healing... whoa boy has this been a downhill rollercoaster lately! In the good way! I'm becoming more accepting of myself and all my weirdness, enjoying my hobbies more and more, and changing how I see myself. I'm trying to treat myself more compassionately when I mess up or get into my head - this is hard work, I didn't get these mindsets in a day, I won't reverse them in a day!! I truly think this new obsession with Bob Dylan helped - it refreshed me, gave me some new energy that I hadn't gotten in a long time.

sooo here are some thanks

@lil-melody-moon where do i begin!!! I'm super grateful that I chose to reunite w/you, we're quite the team! lol thank you for encouraging all my weirdness and thirst and obsessions. I can't wait to see what the next bout of teasing will be... mwah! thank you for all of your love and support.

@good-to-drive you are amazing and i'm so grateful for your friendship and understanding. i don't know how i would have gotten through some of the hard times during the fallout with my other friend without your support. thank you for all your saraniverse help, for the personal help, and for encouraging this new obsession ha! i can't wait to hear more about your research :D

@johangeorghohman you found me during a very dark time, and i'm happy that you stuck around now that i'm doing better! thank you fr all of your kindness and for listening to my insane ramblings lol!

@djbead123 and @androidxmutt yall are awesome! i know we haven't been friends that long, but i'm looking forward to continuing into 2025! (and i can't wait to see that drawing!)

@knoxoverstreet16 i'm glad i messaged you! you're fun to talk to, and i love seeing little pics from your tours and stuff! :D

@rufusrant thank you for being my starrison friend ^_^ and for not giving up on me when i wasn't as healed as i am now (so i wasn't making the best choices, friend and conversation wise). i do wanna write that story!

@i-am-the-oyster and @s-l-martin thank you for being so encouraging when it comes to how shy i am on discord... i'm getting out of that slowly but surely!

finally but not least @bridgeoverstrawberryfields i know things are tough for you right now, but i just wanted to extend some love and care. you've been a wonderful friend all this year, and i thank you from the bottom of my heart. and i'm here whenever you're ready <3

[acotarmemes]

ACOTAR polls // fandom

This poll's going to be a little different! As some of you have noticed, I've been a bit quiet lately... on top of many offline things, I've been experiencing a bit of fandom fatigue and I was wondering if it was just me.

This community has been so wonderful to me and I'm so happy to have such positive engagement from you all. If you're feeling a bit tired these days from the discourse, please know that I see you and I feel you.

[gor3sigil]

Your post about "why be a man when you could be a GNC woman" resonated so much with me. I'm a nonbinary transmasc person who still often has these kinds of thoughts about myself and it hurts so much. I guess it's this sort of weird feeling of guilt that I'm somehow degrading myself or being anti-feminist/misogynist for being transmasculine. Like, the fact that I hate being a woman somehow translates to "I hate women." I think a big contributing factor is all the rhetoric in queer spaces lately about how being a man can't possibly be as revolutionary or subversive as being a woman in any context (as though transmasculinity is the exact same as cismasculinity) and that I'd be doing a lot more for queer liberation and feminism if I just remained a woman. Plus, my mom knows I like to dress more masculinely but she's always gently pressuring me to be more feminine and I kind of feel like I'm betraying her too. It sucks because she otherwise is very feminist and very queer friendly, so I genuinely think it comes from ignorance rather than malice

There's also this fear that I'm "not doing enough" to justify my transmasculinity. Like I said, I dress pretty neutral/masc, but I don't bind (yet) and I'm not on T. I don't plan on getting surgery either. I'll likely never pass. It feels like I'm making a mockery of transmasculinity or watering down what it means to be transmasc, and that it'd be better if I just stayed as an androgynous woman instead of appropriating "real" trans men's experiences. I just feel like such a fraud.

Sorry if this doesn't make sense, I have a hard time articulating my feelings and I just wanted to vent a little...😭

(Just to be clear, I don't feel this way at all about other transmascs, just myself...)

Hi ! I totally understand that you're dealing with imposter syndrome. When I used to feel this way, ne thing that really helped me was to turn to queer history, and see how the people who paved the way for us came in "every shape". Trans people in history haven't always transitioned, some never did apart fropm whanging their names, yet they're still trans and they built the community we have today.

And I totally get the feeling you have about being "more useful" to the community as a GNC woman, I still get it from time to time. But queer men and mascs are just as queer, and have fought so hard too. You being yourself is enough. I don't really like how anti-masc the queer community has become these last few years. While I understand that it stems from people in the community being traumatized by cishet men, I think that it's a big, big step backward, and the way a lot of activists now are king of trying to erase masc individuals from our history is genuinely scary to me. But, while I'm mostly online and don't really participate in my local queer community for a variety of reasons, I think that part of it comes from a loud minority of online queer discourse. Not saying that it never happens IRL because I've seen it and have been a victim of anti-transmasculinity pretty badly in IRL queer spaces, but I think that the ratio is more online than offline. Still, it helps to know about our history, and remind people that queerness isn't fem only, it comes in a variety of ways, and that every one of us face similar hardships.

You are not betraying anyone.

[pinkmoondoll9shihtzu]

hello pmd9, I am interested in hearing your thoughts about monitoring ones media intake, screen time etc .. I've been doing a digital ""fast"" lately that has increased my clarity. I'm coming to realize seeking a more healthy relationship with tech without withering away seems like it will be enduring & lifelong... seems to me there is a need for a digital diet these days and was wondering if you have struck a balance or if this presses you aswell

hello :) my thoughts are that ... its crucial !! to be a little distant

For me it's like. hard to be online as i used to. part of that is surely jst getting /old/ and no longer feeling 'fomo' when i,m offline because Well i've already seen/experienced So much from the online world lol. Sadly nothing can compare to the way the inernet felt to me 10+ yrs ago u_u it doesnt hook me in like it used to, its like building a tolerance to a drug or st

but i still try to be online a little bit and maintain balance by scrolling the dash a few times a day so i dont completely lose touch.. keeping it real tho i usually cant make it past 2-3 mins of scrolling before i lose interest cus yeah idk nothing Hooks me anymore ! This makes me feel like a bad online friend sometimes that im not very active in ppls notes i dont see a lot of things ....... but it is what it is! i just like being irl or thinking in my mind more than being online now unless im Posting

Basically my main reason for staying online is to Post because Posting is fun and engaging. And in that sense the internet is still my most effective portal to the outside world. i feel a responsibility to keep posting. But i also feel more than ever its important to be a little distant & offline, for everyone. U can def have a healthy relationship w social media and use it in benevolent or even just neutral ways when u have strong boundaries !

U must use the website, not let the website use U . . .

This Pochita incident has also been a big dosage of reality-check, like, i want to be present irl even more now, because life is precious and fragile and i want to really know the moment. know every moment vividly & intentionally

But yeah the internet is just neutral to me, it's good as a tool, u must be aware of your limits and able to step away when u feel frustrated or overwhelmed. times when i was REally addicited to the internet i was not enjoying myself. i enjoy it now because i figured out a way to use it that feels personally fulfilling. That method will be different for everyone ^_^

Thanks for the question anon, good luck in maintaining your digital boundaries ~~~PMD9

[sysig]

Ranking Pepper’s hammocks A-F now that he’s made five of them

First - B - Not a bad start! But why did he put it on top of the pre-built nest. It is literally right there. Overall, good protection and well reinforced just... You didn’t have to make a new one, Pepper

Second - C - No reinforcement, no safety net, out in the middle of the top of the enclosure, extremely visible and see-through, which is great for me because I can see him napping - very cute, but Pepper, your safety and security!

Third - A - The molt hammock! Thick webbing, obscured under moss, easy to overlook and well protected! But he stayed in there for a literal week and scared me >:0

Fourth - D - Made a tiny, very sparse hammock in the cattails for one night and has since abandoned it. Why even bother at that point? He still fit in the first two hammocks!

Fifth - A - The best napping hammock so far! In the opposite corner from the pre-built so not directly on top of an easier solution, closer to the light source in the evening, decently thick and secure, and in a corner so he’s not just hanging out in the direct middle of the enclosure - protected on two sides! Bonus points for having caught a little video of him doing the booty dance construction :)

[sloanesallow]

Happy New Year

Happy is a relative term. I'm hopeful that 2025 will be kinder to me, after a not-so-great 2024. Sure, there were a lot of great moments this year, but it's been difficult for me to be in a positive head-space lately.

It does feel good to get it all out though, so here goes:

The year started off well enough.

I finished writing MMHS, and started my next project, The Call of the Void. I wrote for almost all the monthly writing events on the OHL server, and was keeping up with my friend's fanfics.

Somewhere over the summer, I developed a horrible case of imposter syndrome and was struggling to get past it. It's still something I fight every day. It was easy to push aside and fight through, but then in November, my personal life fell into shambles.

My cat, whom I've had since he was born, died just shy of his 18th birthday. He had a stroke on 11/4, and then just didn't recover, passing on 11/13. The grieving process hasn't been easy, and I still find myself incredibly devastated by his loss. Nothing in my life has felt normal since he died, and unfortunately, I have not received much sympathy from my family, who believe I should be well past the sadness by now.

Then I got sick with the flu, and it was the sickest I've been in years, leaving me bedridden for a few days, and even two weeks later, I still have a horrible cough. During this time, I realized that I don't have anyone in my life (physically) that I can rely on for help. I've always prided myself on being independent, but sometimes you want to be cared for, and when there's nobody there, it can lead to a kind of loneliness that is unshakable. I tried to reach out and ask for help but was closed off or shut down, so I retreated. I've been trying to keep the few (offline) friendships and connections I have with people alive, but the effort isn't being reciprocated, so I've given up. Knowing they will likely not notice or care that I've disappeared from their life brings a different kind of heartbreak. My body and mind were broken down and it threw me into an even deeper depression.

I'm not one to linger in depressive states, but this melancholia has lingered. I fell into a head-space where every little thing makes me sad or irrationally angry, and all I do is cry (when previously, I cry maybe once a year). Trying to fight through it is a monumental task; it's hard when you can recognize your own toxic behaviors and try to correct them. It leaves you trapped in a cycle of fighting your own thoughts, trapped without seeing a way out. I stopped doing anything except work. I haven't really been taking care of myself, and have been self-isolating so I don't bring others down with my dark cloud.

All this to say, I've also lost my creative spark. I've lost all my confidence in writing, due to this depression, and haven't been able to crawl out of the hole just yet. I really tried to last month, but I still felt empty. I hate it about myself, but I crave validation, and when it's not received in the way I hope, I shut down. I feel like I've been pouring my heart and soul into stuff so it hurts when there is little to no feedback. I'm grateful, and will always be grateful for the people that engage with my work, but it's hard. I never want to be an obligation and want people to be here because they want to, not because they feel they have to. Most days, I feel like a black sheep in fandom spaces, or at least like the odd one out in writing groups. I know this is my own evil brain but there are a lot of times when I feel unwelcome, or forgotten, or an afterthought. I know I cannot expect to be welcome everywhere, or liked by everyone, but it still hurts me deeply, especially when it's obvious I'm not wanted. Growing up, I've never been anyone's first choice, so this mentality is hard to shake.

Okay, so now that all the bad feelings are out in the open, you know why I've been so MIA the last few months. I really am trying, though most days are spent just trying to exist. I'm searching for little bouts of joy from wherever I can find it.

Thank you to everyone who has been here this year, supporting me and my manic brain. I'm grateful for the friends I've made, the art I've shared, and my place in fandom.

What I hope for 2025:

Write, of course. Without being too harsh on myself. Write for myself.

Read more, and support the community I love.

Take more social media breaks, to better my mental health.

Be kinder to myself.

May you all have a happy and safe New Year. 💛✨

[titancutebutt]

I usually only post art on tumblr, but I'll write a little bit today. *Sorry I've had few art uploads lately! I was so sleepy when I came back from the gym :'( *

I started playing Destiny 2 in 2018. I got to do Destiny 1. I've met several people, but I've mostly played with good people so far. I got to know "him" about two years ago. We tried NightFall Grandmaster and Day One Raid together. I spent a lot of time with him in online and offline.

But he often said hateful things about Destiny's queer character. I'm a queer friendly person, so I was uncomfortable with what he said, but I thought it was simply because he confused "yaoi" with "queer."

But he said a while ago. "Homosexuality is an act that goes against 'the providence of nature'" "I cannot understand queers myself." "Sexual orientation is purely one's choice." "That is why they deserve to be blamed."

I said his queerphobic ideas were wrong, but he didn't look like he was going to change his mind. So I got away from him. In fact, in Korea's homosocial Destiny community, there are countless ridicule and hate whenever queer characters appear in the game. (When Osiris and Saint kissed…Their reaction was absolutely terrible)

Such users are very few people, so I thought they wouldn't exist around me, but I was stupid.

I am very hurt by his words, and he seems to think nothing of it.

Anyway, even though I've been through this, I still love the queer characters in Destiny. I respect all queers, I support their love. I went through this and changed my Discord profile like this so he could see it.

Love conquers hate🏳️‍🌈

[sysy-studyblr]

So sorry if you get this question a ton, dear - I'd love to know how you got up to B2 German in a year! Did you start from scratch? Not sure if you already made a post somewhere explaining your process. Cheers ☕

hi! I've been crazy offline but I really want to reply to this! don't apologise, in fact, thank you for asking me!

yes I started from scratch! my first A1 class was around September 2023 - and I got my B2 certificate in early April 2024. so I did three months of an A1 - A2 superintensive course [4h a day], and then I had a private tutor, as I needed my certificate before the application period and the Goethe institute didn't have a course in that time. I essentially did B1 in 6 weeks - working up to 4 - 6 hours a day, and then B2 in the same kind of way. I focused heavily on the exam structure - since I needed the certificate alone - so I did grammar, then past papers, and in the past papers I picked up vocabulary. I tried doing past papers + practice orals every single day, basically overloading my head with German! [it was insane] I would say to overall improve German it was not a great structure, but to get a certificate it worked pretty well - since a lot of the certificates depend on how well you know the exam structure, not how great proficiency actually is.

yeah! sorry that I'm replying to this so late! I've been truly struggling lol!