#i knew this scene was coming but actually reading it was still so raw | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

luviwon · 2 months ago

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FLOWERS OVER EXES — k.sn

❀ in which kim sunoo makes up for your ex boyfriend's miserable behaviour and gets you flowers to bring up your mood. but he doesn't stop there and brings you to heaven too. ❀ a combination of angst, fluff and vanilla smut is this a thing? (who could not fall for romantic sunoo i am actually on the floor now someone rescue me) ❀ in the mood for something sad but sweet and passionate as well so there you go ❀ for whoever doesn't want to read the smut part, i will put a small warning before the start of that so read worriless. as for my horny readers, you can just jump down there to avoid all the tear-causing scenes.

"leave, then. i don't need you anymore"

his words were just as a sharp arrow, splitting your heart into two. you did not dare to confront him anymore, not after everything that has happened. looking at him in the eyes one more time, you felt a burning tear painting your face. it was not worth crying for this pathetic man, but you couldn't help yourself. everything you have shared together was still there somehow, and despite his wrong doings, you still kept thinking about the good times.

you had to control yourself, though, and acknowledge what a piece of trash he was. and that there was no better decision than to stand up and leave as he said. you did not need him anymore either.

"i'll send someone to get my things by the end of this week"

he just nodded, turning his back to you and going on his phone. is this the lowest respect he has left for you? you opened your mouth sligthly, ready to criticise him and tell him one final thing before leaving forever, but you stopped yourself. you were more than that and should not lower yourself to his level.

without further goodbyes, you left your ex boyfriend house and walked down the steps, holding your tears back still.

you kept your head down as you walked through the streets, trying to ignore the tightening in your chest. the cool evening air nipped at your skin, but it wasn’t enough to numb the ache growing inside you. each step felt heavier than the last, the weight of everything pressing down like an anchor.

you didn’t want to cry. not here. not now.

the sidewalk was quiet, just the occasional hum of a car passing by, but even in the stillness, your thoughts screamed louder. you had done the right thing. you had to believe that. but it didn’t feel like it. each memory flashed in your mind like cruel reminders—the laughter, the stolen glances, the small moments that felt too perfect to be real. and maybe they never were.

your eyes burned, but you blinked the tears away. you couldn’t fall apart now, not in the middle of the street where anyone could see.

as the familiar path towards the han river stretched out in front of you, your phone buzzed in your pocket. you hesitated for a moment, thumb hovering over the screen, before pressing call. you needed to hear a voice, something to ground you, to remind you that you weren’t completely alone.

"hello?" sunoo’s voice was soft, and for a second, you could almost pretend nothing was wrong. almost.

“hey…” your voice came out shakier than you wanted, and you bit your lip, trying to steady it.

"you okay?" he asked, instantly picking up on the tremor. his concern wrapped around you like a blanket, but it only made it harder to keep your composure.

you swallowed hard, fingers curling tightly around your phone. "i’m fine. just needed to… hear someone."

there was a pause, the kind that made you wonder if he was trying to find the right words or if he already knew. “what did he do again?”

his question hit like a punch to the gut, and before you could stop it, a sob broke through your chest, loud and raw, spilling out into the night air. you clamped your hand over your mouth, as if that would stop the rest from coming, but it was too late.

sunoo’s voice immediately softened, "hey, hey… it's okay. i’m here. talk to me."

you tried to speak, but the words wouldn’t come. your legs felt weak, and you had to stop, leaning against a lamppost to steady yourself. everything felt too much—too loud, too painful, too real.

"where are you?" sunoo asked gently. you could hear the worry creeping into his voice, but he wasn’t pushing you. he never did.

you wiped at your cheeks, hating the way your breath kept catching in your throat. "the bridge," you whispered. "i’m going to the han river bridge."

“okay, stay there. i’m coming to you, alright?” he was already moving, you could hear it in his voice, the rush of footsteps in the background. "just hold on."

you nodded even though he couldn’t see. "i’m sorry," you managed to say, voice breaking again. you didn’t even know what you were apologizing for—maybe for calling him, for crying like this, for not being stronger.

"don’t be sorry," sunoo said softly. "you don’t have to do this alone. i’m almost there."

you lowered the phone and took a deep breath, staring out at the darkening sky. the han river was just ahead, the faint shimmer of water in the distance. you’d been here so many times before, but tonight it felt different—like everything had changed. like you had changed.

you stood by the railing of the bridge, eyes unfocused as you stared out at the water. the river moved slowly beneath the soft glow of the streetlights, but your mind was far from the calm that surrounded you. it kept pulling you back—back to him, to his words, to the way everything seemed to fall apart in such a quiet, brutal way.

people walked past, some alone, some in pairs, their footsteps light against the pavement. you could feel their glances, brief but piercing, as if they could see through you, as if they knew. you shifted your weight, trying to make yourself smaller, to hide the mess you felt like, but it only made the knot in your chest tighter. your face was still warm and damp from crying, and you wiped at it quickly, telling yourself to get it together.

“come on,” you muttered under your breath, taking in a shaky breath. “be strong. you have to be strong.”

but the words felt hollow, like they were just something to say because you didn’t know how else to pull yourself out of this. everything hurt, and even though you told yourself over and over again that you were fine, that you were better off without him, it didn’t stop the ache from settling deeper.

you closed your eyes, leaning forward on the railing, letting the cool wind brush against your skin. maybe, just for a moment, you could let yourself fall apart. no one would notice, right? no one would—

and then, out of the corner of your eye, you saw it—something familiar. you turned your head slowly, gaze catching on a figure walking towards you. the first thing you noticed was the coat—black and slightly oversized, the one you’d seen so many times before. the way it hung loosely on his frame, sleeves too long for his delicate hands. then the hair, that familiar mess of dark strands that somehow always looked perfect in its disarray.

sunoo.

he wasn’t rushing, but his steps had a purpose, his eyes already locked on you. and for a second, everything around you seemed to blur. there was something comforting in his presence, something that made your heart ache a little less, even though you hadn’t said a word yet. but then, as he got closer, you noticed something else—something unfamiliar.

in his hand, he was holding a small bouquet of flowers, wrapped carefully in soft blue paper. delicate, pale blue peonies peeked out from the wrapping, their soft petals almost glowing in the dim light of the streetlamps. you blinked, caught off guard by the sight. despite the familiar comfort of seeing him, there was something so unexpected, so tender, in the way he held them.

sunoo reached you, his breath a little uneven from the walk, but his expression was calm, his eyes soft as he looked at you. he said nothing at first, just standing there with you, offering his presence like an anchor. but it was the flowers that kept drawing your gaze.

“you okay?” he asked, voice low and gentle, like he didn’t want to break whatever fragile moment this was.

you opened your mouth to speak, but the words tangled in your throat. instead, you shook your head, unable to stop the tears from welling up again.

sunoo didn’t waste a second. as soon as he saw the tears welling up in your eyes again, he gently placed the bouquet down on the ground and stepped forward, wrapping his arms around you in a way that felt so natural, like he’d been waiting for this moment to be there for you. his embrace was firm but soft, and before you could think, your face was pressed against his chest, his warmth enveloping you. his hand found its way to the back of your head, fingers threading through your hair as he pulled you even closer. he rested his chin on top of your head, the steady rise and fall of his breathing a quiet reminder that you weren’t alone.

“it’s okay,” he whispered, his voice barely more than a breath against your hair. “you don’t have to say anything. i’m here. i’ve got you.”

his hand stroked your hair in gentle motions, like he was trying to smooth out the chaos inside you with each pass of his fingers. you didn’t resist, letting yourself melt into him, the tension you’d been carrying for so long slowly unraveling in his arms. you could feel his heart beating steadily against your cheek, and somehow, that rhythm made everything seem a little less terrifying. his scent wrapped around you—clean and familiar, with the faintest trace of something warm, like vanilla. it filled your senses, grounding you, reminding you that not everything was lost.

“you’re not alone anymore,” sunoo murmured, his voice low but strong. “whatever happens, whatever this is… you don’t have to carry it by yourself. i’ll be here, no matter what. i promise.”

you didn’t say anything, just pressed your face deeper into his chest, your fingers clutching at the fabric of his coat like it was the only thing keeping you standing. his words soaked into you, each one like a small stitch, trying to pull together the pieces of you that had been so brutally torn apart.

“i don’t know what happened,” he continued, his hand still moving slowly through your hair. “and i don’t need to know right now. all that matters is that you’re safe, and i’ll protect you from here on out. whatever it takes.”

his chin shifted slightly against your head, and you could feel the way his breath stirred your hair as he spoke. there was something so steady, so unshakable about the way he held you, like he was a wall between you and the rest of the world. you didn’t have to be strong right now, not with him. it was like all the weight you’d been carrying was finally allowed to fall.

“sunoo…” your voice cracked as you finally spoke, muffled against his chest. the words felt heavy, like they’d been trapped inside you for too long. “it’s over now. it just… ended.”

saying it out loud made it real, and the reality hit like a wave, crashing down with a force you weren’t ready for. your body shook as the sobs finally came, no longer silent, no longer restrained. you cried into his chest, letting everything out—everything you had been holding in, all the pain, all the confusion, all the love you didn’t know how to let go of.

sunoo tightened his hold on you, one hand pressing gently to your back, keeping you close, as if he could shield you from the hurt with his touch alone. “i know… i know,” he whispered softly, his voice trembling just a little, but he never wavered. “let it out. you don’t have to be strong right now. i’m here.”

he didn’t let go. not once. and in that moment, you let yourself believe him. you let yourself believe that maybe, just maybe, you didn’t have to go through this alone. in his arms, with the sound of his heartbeat in your ears and his warmth surrounding you, the world didn’t feel as cold.

sunoo held you for a while longer, his chin still resting on your head as he let you cry in his arms. but as the minutes passed, the air around you began to grow colder, the last traces of sunlight disappearing beyond the horizon. he felt the slight shiver that ran through you and pulled back gently, just enough to look at you, concern flickering in his eyes.

"it’s getting dark," he said softly, brushing a stray tear from your cheek with his thumb. "and cold. let’s get you home and warm up, okay? i’ll take care of everything. i promise, you won’t be alone tonight."

there was something so reassuring in the way he said it, so sure and steady, that you found yourself nodding without hesitation. the thought of being alone, of walking back to an empty apartment with nothing but the echo of tonight’s heartbreak, made you feel even more fragile. but with sunoo, even just for now, you didn’t have to face that emptiness.

he smiled at your nod, that small, gentle smile of his that always seemed to bring a little light, even in moments like this. "come on, let’s go."

as he bent down to pick up the bouquet from the ground, you watched him for a moment, noticing how careful he was with the flowers, as if they were something precious. then, without a word, he slipped his arm around your shoulders, his touch warm and solid, guiding you gently as you leaned into him. you were still shaky, still sobbing quietly, but his presence made it just a little easier to take each step.

you rested your head on his shoulder as you walked, the weight of your grief still heavy, but his steady pace gave you something to hold on to. he led you to his car, the soft click of the remote unlocking the doors breaking the quiet of the night. when you reached the passenger side, he paused, opening the door for you with a care that felt so... intentional, like every movement was meant to make you feel safe.

"here," he said softly, helping you into the seat. he carefully set the bouquet in the back, the blue flowers almost glowing in the dim light from the streetlamps, before closing your door with a soft thud.

you watched him circle around the car, your eyes tracing his familiar figure as he moved, his hair slightly tousled from the breeze, the faint shadows of exhaustion under his eyes. when he slid into the driver’s seat, he turned to you with that same gentle smile, though there was a flicker of worry behind it.

"let’s go," he said quietly, and the engine purred to life as he started the car, the low hum filling the space between you.

you leaned your head against the window, feeling the cool glass press against your skin, your gaze drifting up towards the night sky. the stars were faint, scattered against the dark canvas of the city, but they were there, blinking quietly in the distance. you focused on them, using their distant light to hold yourself together, to keep the tears at bay. you didn’t want to cry anymore, not here, not in front of him.

the car moved smoothly through the streets, the soft glow of passing streetlights flickering over your face. you could feel sunoo’s eyes on you, stealing glances when he thought you weren’t noticing. but you felt it—his worry, his care, the way he was watching over you even in the smallest moments. every so often, he would adjust his grip on the steering wheel, his hand moving effortlessly between the controls, and you found yourself oddly comforted by the sight. there was something undeniably calming about the way he drove, like he was in control of everything, even when the world felt like it was falling apart around you.

after a while, you felt the softest touch—a gentle pressure on your hand. you looked down and saw sunoo’s hand resting on yours, which had been resting limply on your thigh. his touch was warm, his fingers wrapping lightly around yours, anchoring you to the moment.

"it’s going to be okay," he whispered, his voice barely audible over the quiet hum of the engine. "i promise."

you couldn’t bring yourself to respond, not yet, but something in his touch, in his words, soothed the ache just a little. you stared out the window again, watching the city lights blur past as the car made its way through the familiar streets. despite the heaviness inside you, there was a strange sense of peace in this moment—in his presence, in the quiet reassurance he gave without asking anything in return.

every now and then, you caught the way his hand moved on the steering wheel, the light reflecting off his skin as he handled the car with one hand, the other still resting protectively on yours. there was something about the way he drove, the quiet confidence in each movement, that made you feel... safe. not just physically, but in a way that went deeper, as if he could handle whatever came next, as long as he was by your side.

you let out a shaky breath, your tears drying on your cheeks, and leaned back into the seat, the weight of the night still heavy but no longer unbearable. and for the first time in what felt like forever, you let yourself believe—just a little—that maybe it really would be okay.

before you even realized it, you had arrived at the entrance of your apartment’s parking lot. the streetlights cast long, hazy shadows on the ground, and the gentle hum of the car's engine began to fade as sunoo effortlessly turned it off. he glanced at you one last time before you stepped out, his eyes brimming with quiet hope and an encouraging smile that seemed to say, “you’re not alone in this.”without hesitation, he got out of the car and hurried around to your side, not giving you a chance to move on your own. he opened the door for you, his attention entirely focused on you and nothing else. with gentle hands, he helped you out of the car, and as you stood up, he carefully reached into the backseat to retrieve the bouquet of flowers.

you fumbled for your keys in your pocket, your hands still shaky from the tears that hadn't fully dried. sunoo noticed, of course he did, and with that same tenderness, he took the keys from you, his fingers brushing yours in a way that made you feel like he was absorbing some of the weight you carried. "i’ve got it," he whispered, his voice a soft promise. he unlocked the door and nudged it open, but he didn’t step in first. no, he let you take that step—letting you lead in your own space, your sanctuary that felt strangely foreign at this moment.

you walked in, the familiar scent of home greeting you, but everything felt too still, too quiet. the weight of the day hung in the air, pressing down on your chest as you stood there, unsure of what to do next. sunoo closed the door softly behind you and, without saying a word, helped you slip off your coat. his movements were slow, deliberate, as if he wanted to shield you from even the smallest discomfort. he guided you gently toward the sofa, the only thing that seemed to belong in the room right now.

"how about you sit here for a while," he whispered, his voice as soothing as the night itself, "i’ll make us some tea, something warm to help you feel better." and before you could respond, he was already in the kitchen, the sound of cabinets opening and the quiet clinking of mugs filling the silence that you hadn’t noticed until then. the soft whir of the kettle began, blending with the faint shuffle of his feet on the kitchen floor. it was comforting, these small noises of someone taking care of you, the way he always knew what you needed before you even realized it yourself.

you sank into the sofa, eyes falling on the bouquet now resting on the coffee table. they were beautiful, untouched by the sadness in your heart, as if they held onto the light that seemed so distant from you. the warmth of the room, the soft glow from the lamps sunoo had turned on without you noticing, everything began to feel less overwhelming, even just for a moment.

sunoo came back, holding two steaming mugs, the rich scent of tea swirling around you. he set them down carefully next to the flowers before settling beside you, close enough that his presence was a balm against the storm inside you. without a word, he opened his arms, and you collapsed into him, your body shaking as the tears returned. he held you tighter, one hand stroking your back in soothing circles, his voice a quiet hum of comfort. "it’s going to be okay, y/n," he murmured, "i’m here. i’ll always be here.

and for a second—just a second—you believed him. the warmth of his chest, the steady beat of his heart, the safety of his embrace made everything feel less terrifying. you burrowed deeper into his arms, letting the soft fabric of his hoodie and the strength of his hold anchor you. you looked up at him through tear-streaked lashes, his face illuminated by the soft lamplight. his words, his presence, made you feel like maybe, just maybe, everything would be alright.

sunoo didn’t say a word at first. he didn’t need to. his arms tightened around you, holding you as if he could shield you from the sadness that clung to you. he rested his chin on the top of your head, his steady breathing a rhythm that slowly started to soothe the chaos swirling inside you. his fingers gently threaded through your hair, soft strokes, as if each touch was meant to remind you he was there, that he wasn’t going anywhere.

"it’s okay, let it out," he whispered, his voice barely above a breath, but filled with so much warmth it almost made your chest ache. "i’m here. i’ll stay as long as you need me." his words weren’t rushed or forced, just a quiet truth, something solid in the midst of all the uncertainty that weighed down on you.

you could feel the wetness of your tears soaking through his hoodie, but he didn’t seem to care. he only held you closer, his hand moving to cradle the back of your head, guiding it into the curve of his neck. you felt so small in his arms, but somehow, the pain felt a little less suffocating. the ache in your heart was still there, throbbing with every beat, but sunoo’s warmth kept you grounded, kept you from feeling like you were drowning.

"i know it hurts," he murmured into your hair, his breath warm against your scalp, "but you don’t have to go through it alone, okay? we’ll get through this together. i’ve got you." his voice cracked just the tiniest bit at the end, and you realized how much it hurt him to see you like this. but there wasn’t a trace of frustration or helplessness in his touch, only unwavering patience.

time seemed to stretch on endlessly, the minutes blending together as you cried into his arms. the room was still, the only sounds the faint ticking of the clock and your quiet sobs, slowly easing into shallow breaths. you clung to him, needing the solidness of his body, the reassurance of his touch.

"it’s going to be okay," he repeated softly, like a mantra. "i promise, y/n. i’ll be here every step of the way." he shifted slightly, just enough to pull you closer, his hand now cupping your cheek, brushing away the tears with the pad of his thumb. his eyes, warm and filled with nothing but concern, searched your face, making sure you were really there, really okay.

"i know it doesn’t feel like it right now," he continued, his voice barely above a whisper, "but one day, it won’t hurt as much. and when that day comes, you’ll look back and see how strong you are. but until then, lean on me. i’ll carry as much of this for you as i can."

his words washed over you like a balm, his presence a refuge from the pain that felt too heavy to bear. you didn’t have the strength to respond, but you didn’t need to. sunoo understood. he always did. he pressed a soft kiss to the top of your head, his lips lingering there for a moment longer than usual, as if trying to seal his promise with that one tender gesture.

slowly, the sobs subsided, leaving behind a quiet, aching stillness. your breathing steadied, and though the pain hadn’t left, it felt more bearable in the cocoon of his arms. you rested your head against his chest, listening to the soft, steady rhythm of his heartbeat, and let yourself be held, let yourself find comfort in his unwavering presence.

"just stay here with me," you whispered, your voice shaky and fragile. "don’t leave."

sunoo hugged you even tighter, his chin resting on your shoulder now. "i’m not going anywhere," he whispered back, his voice filled with so much certainty that, for the first time in what felt like forever, you believed him. you closed your eyes, letting yourself melt into his embrace, and for a brief moment, the heartbreak seemed distant, something outside the walls of this small, quiet world the two of you had created.

slowly, the tension in your body eased as you stayed wrapped in his arms, the warmth of his chest steady against your cheek. you let out a shaky breath, feeling a small sliver of calm begin to take root amidst the chaos. sunoo's presence was enough, his quiet reassurances and the gentle rhythm of his breathing pulling you back from the edge of your heartbreak. after a moment, you pulled back slightly, enough to lift your head and meet his gaze.

sunoo’s hand moved gently from your back to your face, his fingers tracing the line of your jaw with the same delicate care he’d shown all night. he tilted your chin up slightly, his eyes searching yours with an intensity that made your breath catch. the room felt impossibly quiet, like the world outside had faded completely, leaving only the two of you in this small, warm space.

“you know,” he began softly, his voice barely above a whisper, “i’ve always admired you. not just for how strong you are… but for everything else. your kindness. your smile. the way you care for others, even when you’re hurting.”

his thumb brushed lightly across your cheek, the touch so tender that it made your heart stutter. “you don’t even realize how special you are, do you?” he asked, his eyes softening as they moved over your face, taking in every detail as if he wanted to memorize you in this moment. “and not just on the inside… you’re beautiful. you always have been.”

his words sank into you, deeper than you expected, and you felt a warmth bloom in your chest, something soft but undeniable. it was like he was seeing through all the pain, all the exhaustion, to the person you weren’t sure was still there anymore. and for the first time in a while, you felt seen. truly seen.

his hand stayed on your cheek, his palm warm against your skin, and you found yourself leaning into it slightly, as if you couldn’t help but be drawn closer to him. there was something magnetic about him in this moment—the way his gaze held yours, the way his touch seemed to chase away the cold that had been sitting inside you all night. you felt a strange pull, a quiet longing that you didn’t quite know how to name, but it was there, growing with every second you spent in his arms.

sunoo’s thumb brushed across your lips, just the faintest touch, but it sent a shiver through you. “i’m sorry you’ve been through so much,” he murmured, his voice even softer now. “but i promise… i’ll be here. i’ll always be here.”

there was something in his eyes, something deeper, that made your breath hitch in your throat. it wasn’t just reassurance anymore—there was a tenderness there, a kind of closeness that went beyond simple comfort. it felt like he was opening up a part of himself to you, something that had always been there, just waiting for you to notice.

and you did notice. suddenly, you were acutely aware of how close he was, of how his hand cradled your face with such care, of the way his gaze flickered down to your lips for just a split second before meeting your eyes again. the pull between you grew stronger, an invisible thread drawing you closer, until it was impossible to ignore.

your heart raced as you watched him, your mind spinning with the realization that you weren’t just seeking comfort anymore—you were seeking him. the closeness, the warmth, the way his words made you feel seen and understood… it all made you want to close the distance, to move closer, to let yourself fall into this strange but undeniable connection.

sunoo’s breath was shaky as he leaned in, his lips brushing against yours so softly, it was almost like a question. the kiss was light, tentative, and for a moment, you froze. your eyes widened, surprised by the suddenness of it, your heart skipping a beat. it wasn’t what you had expected, not tonight, not like this. but even in your surprise, you didn’t pull away.

his lips were warm, soft, and his touch was so gentle it felt like he was afraid of pushing too far. but you didn’t move. you didn’t want to. something inside you was holding you there, caught in the moment, unable to back away.

sunoo pulled back first, his eyes wide with realization. “oh—i’m sorry,” he stammered, his voice full of regret. “i didn’t mean to… i didn’t want to make you uncomfortable.” his hands moved to your shoulders, as if to steady you, his eyes full of worry. “i shouldn’t have—”

but before he could finish, you found yourself reaching for him. your fingers brushed his cheek, stopping him mid-sentence. your mind was still reeling, but your heart knew what it wanted. without thinking, you leaned in, closing the gap between you. this time, the kiss wasn’t a question. it was an answer.

your lips met his softly at first, a gentle press that quickly deepened into something more. it wasn’t rushed or urgent, but it was full of emotion—a quiet desperation, a need for closeness that had been building all night. sunoo’s hands moved from your shoulders to your waist, pulling you gently towards him as his lips moved with yours in a slow, careful rhythm.

you felt his warmth seep into you, the soft heat of his hands as they slid up from your waist to your sides, his touch careful but sure. each movement was filled with tenderness, his fingers brushing your skin like he was afraid to break the moment, but at the same time, unable to let go.

your own hands found their way to his face, your fingers tangling gently in his hair as you kissed him back, matching his slow, steady pace. it was like nothing else existed in the world—just the two of you, the quiet hum of the room, and the soft press of his lips against yours. the warmth of him, the safety you felt in his arms, was overwhelming. you hadn’t realized how much you’d needed this—needed him—until now.

sunoo’s hands moved again, this time one slipping up to cup your face, his thumb brushing lightly over your cheek as he kissed you, his touch so full of care that it made your chest ache in the best way. the other hand stayed on your waist, holding you close, anchoring you to him in a way that felt both protective and intimate.

you could feel his heart racing, the steady thrum beneath his skin matching the rhythm of your own. there was something so gentle, so patient, in the way he kissed you, like he was taking his time, making sure every moment was soft, every touch full of meaning. his lips moved slowly, carefully, as if he wanted to savor every second of this closeness.

the kiss deepened, but never lost its gentleness. his hand moved from your face to your hair, his fingers threading through the strands as he kissed you with a quiet intensity. every touch, every soft brush of his lips, made you feel warmer, safer, like the world outside didn’t matter as long as he was here with you.

you melted into him, your body softening against his as the kiss continued, slow and tender. his hands explored your sides, your back, his touch never straying too far, but always grounding you in the moment. you felt cherished, held in a way that made you believe, if only for now, that everything would be okay.

eventually, the kiss slowed, but neither of you pulled away. your foreheads rested together, breaths mingling as you stayed close, his hands still cradling you gently. sunoo’s eyes fluttered open, meeting yours with a softness that made your heart ache all over again.

“i… i don’t know what this means,” he whispered, his voice barely audible, “but… i’m here. and i’ll keep being here… as long as you need me.”

his words, the warmth of his body pressed against yours, the quiet comfort of being held—it all made you feel something you hadn’t felt in a long time. safe. wanted. and maybe, just maybe, like you could let yourself fall into this, into him, without fear.

the room felt suspended in time, the quiet hum of the city outside dimming until it was just the two of you, lost in each other’s presence. your head rested on sunoo’s chest, the steady rise and fall of his breathing soothing, like the softest lullaby. you looked up at him, meeting his gaze, and a small smile tugged at your lips. there was something so tender in the way he looked back at you, his eyes full of warmth and affection that made your heart flutter.

sunoo’s arms tightened around you, pulling you closer, as if he couldn’t bear the thought of letting you go. his voice was soft, barely above a whisper, but it filled the space between you with a kind of sweetness that made your chest feel light.

“you’re so beautiful,” he murmured, his hand gently caressing your arm, his thumb brushing over your skin in slow, soothing strokes. “i’ve always thought so… even when you don’t see it yourself.”

his words made your smile widen, a warmth blooming inside you that you hadn’t felt in a long time. you nestled closer to him, your heart beating steadily in time with his. it was easy to get lost in this moment, the way he held you, the way his voice was like a soft caress against your skin.

“you deserve so much more,” he continued, his eyes never leaving yours. “more love, more happiness. and i’ll make sure you have that. even if it’s just for tonight, i’ll give you everything i can.”

his forehead rested against yours for a moment, his breath mingling with yours, his fingers still trailing gently up and down your arm. it felt like you were in your own little world, shielded from the rest of the universe by the warmth of his embrace. sunoo kissed your forehead softly, his lips lingering there for a few seconds, as if trying to absorb every ounce of pain you had carried. his other hand slipped up to cradle your face, his thumb brushing lightly across your cheek as he kissed you there again, whispering sweet nothings into your skin.

you couldn’t help but smile, the soft affection between you making your heart swell. without thinking, you leaned up and pressed your lips to his again, just a quick peck, something so innocent yet full of meaning. when you pulled back, sunoo chuckled softly, his eyes crinkling in the corners as a small laugh escaped you too.

for a moment, everything was light again, like the weight of the world had been lifted. but then the silence settled over you once more, and you found yourselves staring into each other’s eyes, the connection between you deepening with every second that passed. the air felt charged with something you couldn’t quite name, something that made your heart race and your breath hitch.

you leaned in first this time, and your lips met his again, the kiss soft but full of emotion. sunoo’s arms tightened around you, and you felt his body shift slightly, his hand coming up to cradle the back of your head as he kissed you back with a slow, deliberate tenderness. it wasn’t rushed, but it was filled with a kind of quiet longing that made your heart skip a beat.

somehow, without either of you realizing it, you found yourselves shifting positions. sunoo moved carefully, his hands never leaving your body as he gently guided you back onto the sofa. you sank into the cushions, your back pressed against the soft fabric, and sunoo hovered above you, his knees on either side of your hips as he leaned down, his lips brushing yours again. he was careful, keeping most of his weight off you, his body hovering close but never pressing down.

the kiss deepened, his lips moving against yours in a slow, intoxicating rhythm. his hands slid from your waist to your sides, his touch gentle but full of purpose, like he was savoring every moment of this closeness. you could feel the heat of his body above you, the warmth of his breath against your skin, and it made your head spin in the best way.

your hands found their way to his shoulders, then his neck, pulling him closer as the kiss grew more passionate. it wasn’t rushed, but there was a quiet urgency between you now, a need to feel more of each other, to hold on tighter to this moment. sunoo’s lips left yours for just a second, trailing down to the curve of your jaw, then to the soft skin of your neck. his kisses were light, tentative, like he was testing the waters, waiting for your response.

you didn’t pull away, didn’t flinch. instead, you let your hands slide into his hair, your fingers tangling gently in the strands as his lips brushed against your skin. the sensation sent a shiver through you, but it wasn’t uncomfortable—it was something else entirely, something warm and inviting.

sunoo must have felt it too, because after a moment, he returned to your lips, capturing them in another slow, tender kiss. this time, his hands moved up to cradle your face, his thumbs brushing gently across your cheeks as he kissed you with the same gentle intensity as before. there was something so soft, so reassuring in his touch, like he was reminding you that he was here, that you weren’t alone anymore.

between kisses, his lips hovered just above yours, his breath warm against your skin as he whispered, “your touch… it’s unlike anything i’ve ever felt before. it’s like… you were made for this, for being held like this.”

his words made your chest tighten, your heart swelling with something you couldn’t quite name. the tenderness in his voice, the way he spoke to you like you were the most precious thing in the world, made you feel more seen and more cherished than you had in a long time.

you kissed him again, your lips seeking his with a newfound hunger, and sunoo responded in kind, his hands moving from your face to your waist, then back up to your sides, cradling you gently as if you were something fragile. each kiss was slow, deliberate, filled with a kind of care that made you feel safe, protected. his lips moved with yours in perfect sync, the connection between you growing deeper with every passing second.

the warmth of his body, the softness of his touch, the gentle rhythm of his kisses—it all made you feel like you were floating, like you were wrapped in a cocoon of comfort and affection that you never wanted to leave. and in that moment, as you lay there with sunoo, the world outside faded away completely, leaving only the two of you, lost in each other’s touch, in each other’s warmth.

as you lay beneath him, the gentle rhythm of his lips on yours began to stir something deeper inside. the tenderness, the warmth—it was no longer enough. there was a magnetic pull, a craving that grew with every brush of his lips. you felt it in the way sunoo’s hands roamed your sides, a bit more deliberate, his fingers pressing slightly harder as though he too was feeling the same urgency between you.

sunoo’s kisses trailed lower, down your jaw to your neck, and you couldn’t help the soft sigh that escaped you. he was so careful, his lips barely grazing your skin at first, then growing bolder, leaving a trail of delicate, wet kisses down the curve of your neck. your hands slid up into his hair, tangling in the soft strands, encouraging him as he moved, his lips pressing deeper, lingering longer, until you felt the faintest tug of teeth.

his breath was warm against your skin, his kisses shifting lower as he pulled at the collar of your blouse, just enough to expose your collarbone. your heart raced as he kissed there, the sensation of his lips making your body respond in ways that made your chest tighten. sunoo’s kisses were slow and intentional, his mouth working its way across your skin, each kiss sending a ripple of warmth through you.

his lips hovered for a moment, just beneath your ear, and he whispered softly, “i want to take care of you… all of you.”

the words sent a shiver down your spine, a shiver that only deepened when his mouth returned to your neck, leaving the faintest of marks in his wake, barely noticeable but there, a silent claim. your breath hitched as his lips found the hollow at the base of your throat, and he pulled your blouse aside a little more, giving himself access to your collarbone. his kisses there were slower, wetter, each one pulling a small, soft gasp from you.

your fingers trembled as they made their way to the hem of his hoodie, your mind spinning with the heat of his touch. you hesitated for a moment, your fingers pausing, but the craving to feel more of him—his warmth, his skin—overpowered any doubts. with a slow, tentative movement, you tugged the fabric up, exposing the firm muscles beneath.

sunoo’s body was sculpted, each line of his chest and abs defined, and your gaze was instantly drawn to the sight of him. he noticed your stare, a soft chuckle escaping him, his lips curling into a small smirk that made your heart race even faster. he grabbed your hand, his touch gentle yet firm, and guided it to his chest. pressing your palm flat against the hard planes of his skin, he leaned in, his voice low, teasing.

“go on,” he murmured, his lips brushing your ear. “i’m not going anywhere.”

the warmth of his skin under your fingers was electric, his heart beating steadily beneath your touch. you smiled, feeling more confident, and sunoo’s smirk only deepened as he watched you, his gaze never leaving yours.

before you could think twice, you shifted positions again, moving so that you were straddling him, your legs on either side of his hips. his back rested against the sofa, his hands finding your waist, holding you steady as you moved on top of him. your heart pounded in your chest, the intimacy of the moment overwhelming, but the way sunoo’s hands gripped your hips, the way his lips found your shoulder, made you feel like you were exactly where you belonged.

he leaned in, his mouth once again trailing a line of slow, wet kisses down your shoulder and across your collarbone. the space he had exposed earlier was now his playground, and every kiss, every press of his lips, sent a new wave of heat rushing through you. your breath came in shallow gasps, your hands gripping his shoulders as he worked his way lower, his kisses more insistent, more demanding.

with trembling fingers, you reached for the hem of your blouse, pulling it over your head and letting it fall to the floor. you wanted to give him more—more access, more of yourself. the vulnerability of the moment was overwhelming, but sunoo’s touch, his gaze, made you feel safe.

his hands slid from your waist to your back, his fingers tracing the curve of your spine as his lips moved back up to meet yours. there was a hunger now, a shared desire that neither of you could deny. his kisses were deeper, more passionate, his hands gripping your waist as if to ground himself in the heat of the moment.

the heat between you was palpable, the desire undeniable, yet sunoo remained so careful, so attentive to your every move, every reaction. his lips found yours again, and the kiss deepened, his hands roaming your body as he held you close. and in that moment, everything else faded away—the pain, the heartbreak, the doubt. all that remained was the warmth of his body, the softness of his lips, and the undeniable pull that drew you closer to him with every touch.

“you look so beautiful tonight,” he whispered, staring down at your exposed cleavage, the only obstacle keeping him away from your tits being a piece of laced bra. sunoo couldn’t help but smirked, making eye contact with you again before turning you around, your back against his chest. he led you to lean on him, his hands trailing invisible lines on your stomach and reaching the bra wire. “will you let me?” he whispered into your ear.

you nodded, in the intensity of the moment, and threw your head back on his shoulder when his hands found their way under your bra and cupped your tits, sending you butterflies. his hands were firm on your chest, but not forceful. you bit your lower lip as his index fingers touched your nipples each, crossing your legs in response. sunoo smiled at the notice of that, realising he’s just found one of your sensitive spots. his fingers continued teasing your buds, as a heat started to grow between your legs, the sense of wetness being more and more intense.

“do you want me to go harder on them or is this just perfect?” he whispered again, gently continuing with his play. he couldn’t get tired of it, your nipples felt just right between his fingers, your tits fitting in his hands just perfectly, finding their own new owner. “i like it like that” you barely said, afraid to escape a light moan. sunoo nodded, not changing his rhythm or strength on you, fulfilling all of your desires.

feeling your ass keep moving on his lap, the bulge inside his pants started to get more and more noticeable. you felt his hardness pressing against you, a testament to his perpetual attraction to your body. eager to show him your mutual affection, you pressed harder against him, keeping your lips shut with your teeth, holding your whines back. the way his hardened part pushed into your thin leggings caused more wetness to add up, an ocean in your panties.

“you turn me on so much” he confessed, unable to control his whining. his hands slowly left your tits in place, following to open your bra from behind, the piece of cloth falling hopelessly on the floor. “more reasons for my hands to hold you close” sunoo whispered, “but i think there’s something else that wants to be held too”

unhesitant, his right hand went down your body, reaching your most sensitive part. he used two fingers to trail a line between your legs, slowly, firmly, just the right way to tease every single bit of you. then the line turned into a circle, your clit being triggered every few seconds, and your moans couldn’t be hidden anymore. you opened your legs apart, giving him more access to your needy cunt, screaming for his touch under the piece of cloth. he noticed so, and pressed harder until your folds were holding onto the leggings, taking the shape of your perfect pussy.

“so pretty” he whispered softly inside you ear, sending the now-lost-number of shivers from today, through your whole body. his voice sounded incredible itself, but his whispering awakened a whole new emotion within you. sunoo could not take a break from feeling your wetness in his hand, his impatient fingers pushing the leggings harder inside you. "do you want more, y/n?" he gave you the right to choose like the gentleman he is and you nodded in response, unable to control yourself.

it only took a second for him to process your answer and stand up while letting you fall, carefully, on the sofa. his figure was so beautiful in the dim light, every line forming his abs almost shadowing his body in small places. his straight shoulder added more masculinity to his aura while his permanent smirk went down your body, his head facing your clothed cunt.

"let's take these off" and in the next moment, your leggings were nowhere to be found. his breathe, hot enough, was now making your panties even more soaked. he stuck his playful tongue out, reaching closer to your pussy while his eyes did not leave yours at all, not for a single minute.

you looked down at him and smiled naively, just as his tongue dragged a wet line along your panties, going from bottom to your clit. he paid extra attention to it, giving it an additional lick to end the first round. you trembled at his touch, your lips covered in biting marks now.

impatiently, sunoo pulled your panties aside, a new image raising ahead of him. “you have such a pretty pussy, sweetheart” he whispered again, giving it a quick lick to make your body shake. he giggled and continued with a second one, this time slower and more precise, his eyes on you still. and then the simple up and down line became a whole maze, his adventurous tongue exploring every single bit of you. and as he felt his tongue wasn’t doing enough to satisfy his taste, sunoo started taking your cunt inside his mouth, feeling your flavour down his throat.

he rolled his eyes back at the taste of that and continued to eat you hungrily, moaning inside you. his hands were now holding onto your thighs firmly, dragging them closer so we could bury his face deeper inside you. on the other side, you threw your head back, whining his name aloud. without hesitation, you pushed his head deeper inside, only receiving more moans from him. not only his moans were loud, but the way he was eating out, like he has been so starved for your taste for years.

“you taste like sugar” he raised his head to say, winking at you teasingly. you giggled and hid your face behind your hands, shy now more than ever. he noticed so and came closer to your face, his fingers trailing along your inner thighs. “want to feel my fingers, baby?” he asked, biting your earlobe softly, but enough to get a whine out of you. you nodded again, unable to find your words, and that’s all it took for him to push his fingers all the way inside you pussy, without any warnings or adjustments.

“sunoo-ya!!” you screamed, your arms around his neck and gazing at his beautiful, precious smile, which turned into a smirk as his fingers rushed to slide outside and inside you, no break, no question, just him aggressively taking over your cunt. it felt so good words couldn’t be formed anymore, regardless of your tries to call out his name. you couldn’t do anything but stutter, eyes rolling back more and more and arms growing weaker around his neck.

“do you like them inside you?” he asked, almost aware of your impossibility to say a word. you tried to nod, again, but not even that was an option anymore. you clenched around his fingers, legs shaking in pleasure. sunoo left more wet kisses around your neck and collarbone, reaching your breasts again. unlike before, now it was his teeth that teased your nipples, nibbling and playfully pulling them towards him. his mouth, unable to resist, took your left tit inside, sucking on it like a baby. which was way too ironic, considering how ruined your pussy was by now, his fingers still going.

“s-sunoo, please s-stop” you managed to say quietly. “shhhh, baby” he whispered, boob still inside his mouth, licking around it loudly and moaning softly. “tonight i am crazy over you” sunoo confessed, as he finally gave your wetness a break, and licked his fingers. “tastes like….mine” he chuckled, pushing his fingers inside your mouth and making you suck on them. you did so, feeling your own taste inside your mouth and relishing it.

“you ask me to stop but the way you clench around my hand…says something else”

sunoo kissed your forehead and sat down next to you. he dragged you closer into his chest, a solemn will for his care and took your hand inside his, placing a final kiss on your skin. “you make me go crazy over you, y/n” he whispered, feeling your delicate skin around. “i don’t have a condom right now, but if you want me to make you feel good again,” he took a small break, turning around to gaze into your eyes “i’ll make sure to bring you to heaven next time”

can you tell i was listening to moonstruck in the last part? hope you enjoyed and feedback is highly appreciated 🤍

#enhypen hard hours #enhypen hard thoughts #enhypen smut #enhypen hard #sunoo hard thoughts #sunoo hard hours #sunoo smut #enhypen sunoo #kim sunoo #sunoo x reader #enha smut #sunoo x you #sunoo fluff #sunoo angst #enha sunoo #sunoo #enhypen x reader

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drvscarlett · 3 months ago

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About You Pt 15

Sebastian Vettel x Webber!Reader

Summary: Everyone knows about the history of Sebastian Vettel and Mark Webber. But there's a well kept story within the paddock about Sebastian Vettel and another Webber. This is that story.

A/N: I have made the decision to extend this to a few more chapters so were about 5 chapters away from the real ending. This scene was inspired by that one scene in the Little Woman so brace yourself. Enjoy reading

About You Series

2013, Interlagos

The amber glow of the candle-lit dinner and a live pianist has given a romantic ambiance for dinner night. People have their tables far apart from the other patrons so they could each have their privacy. This restaurant was a hot spot for those people who wanted an evening with their partner. In another lifetime, Sebastian would have been here toasting the night away with Y/N. They share their fun stories as the dinner progress, and they go home with smiles on their faces.

However, in this reality, Sebastian is sitting alone. He kept himself busy scanning the menu but his mind was elsewhere. Despite winning the championship, he was still looking uneasy. It shows in his posture just how tense he was.

Well, who could fault him anyways? Who wouldn’t be tense if they knew that Sebastian was waiting for a scorning from hell. He knew how this conversation can end up in and any scenario that he thinks of,it ends terribly. He wished he knew how to start the conversation but he finds himself at a total loss for words. There was no game plan. Even with all the communication officers or a ghostwriter to help him, his words will never be enough to warrant forgiveness.

The glass of water that was recently refilled mere moments ago is empty again but there is still a bitter taste in his mouth. He signaled for the waiter to fill his glass again. Then his focus goes back to watching his clock, watching how Y/N was running quite late from their agreed meeting time.

“Sorry sorry” A figure appeared behind Sebastian. Y/N obviously hurried to get there because of her heavy breathing and the sweat that glistened her skin.

Sebastian reached out to help Y/N with her chair. A pang of hurt seems to jolt down Sebastian when Y/N avoided his help and even his touch. He already anticipated that she would be distant but the reality still hurts. He quietly sat down as Y/N settled across him.

“Where you waiting for a long time?”Y/N asked

“It’s okay, I understand” Sebastian assured.

His eyes noticed the dark bags under her eyes and how her cheeks seem to thin out a little. It was quite concerning because they only stopped talking a few races ago so why did she deteriorate a lot already “Do you want to eat something? I can order you any food”

“Thank you but I actually don’t have an appetite to eat”Y/N politely declines, eyes still avoiding his.

“You look like it, you’re losing weight”Sebastian couldn’t help but point it out. “Please eat something even oranges”

Y/N’s eyes skimmed the menu and it made her raise an eyebrow. The menu were boasting of some soup of the day, a main course that she cannot pronounce, and some French dessert. No mentions of the favorite fruit that they both like.

“I don’t think they have it here”she replied.

“I can ask for it”Sebastian offered “Do you want me to get-“

“Seb, I didn’t come here for us to dine”

It was the first time that Y/N had the courage to look at Sebastian’s eyes. There was an immediate communication of the feelings that they have been keeping up within their sleeves. Y/N was filled with confusion, betrayal, and hurt. Sebastian’s eyes were of desperation, shame, and sadness. The tension between them is so thick that it drones out the soft pianos of the night.

Sebastian reached out to hold her hand. He may have practiced this a lot before he went here, and he had so many scenarios that he wanted to play out in his mind but now he just decided to give Y/N the raw explanation.

No sugarcoating, no lying. Just the plain basic truth.

“I cheated on you Y/N when I was drunk. I was so upset and I drank beyond my limits then the next thing I know something happened between me and Hanna. It was a mistake. I never did that again, you have to believe me”Sebastian explained.

Before going to the restaurant, Y/N promised herself to not cry about it. She knows the truth already so it shouldn’t hurt her anymore. Tears were prickling her eyes and she was doing her best to maintain a straight face.

“Why didn’t you tell me?” her voice cracked. It betrayed her true feelings and Sebastian noticed that as his hands started to shake.

The way Sebastian buried his head in shame makes the answer clear as day. He was scared. She had to admit that she understood why Sebastian was scared but throughout the years that he had known her, didn’t it cross his mind to trust her with the truth? Didn’t he understand that it was better to be honest than to hide it?

“Why did you have to hide it and blindside me?”

“I didn’t mean to blindside you”Sebastian was quick to answer “I was going to tell you but I never got a good chance to tell you”

Y/N wanted to remove Sebastian’s hands away from her but then she felt his tears falling down their joint hands. For a moment, Y/N forgot everything that was happening and he just wanted Sebastian to stop crying. It was breaking her heart to see him so devastated.

“Listen, I was selfish and I hid the truth from you because I thought I still have more time. We’re just starting with our relationship and I didn’t want to mess this up because this is the best thing that happened to me. With everything going on, I lost a lot of people and I act like I don’t care about it but truth is I care. Its just that I’m okay to lose them but important people like you, I’m scared to lose”

Without a shadow of a doubt, everything being said was genuine. Y/N wish it could be just as simple as forgiving him but things are different now.

“It was all a mistake and I’m willing to do whatever it takes to prove to you that I am sorry”Sebastian begged.

“Seb, this isn’t that easy anymore” Y/N sighs. She knows that she needs to tell Sebastian the whole truth since he wouldn’t speak to Hanna. It was a cruel joke from the universe that she has to be the one to break it to him.

“We can work this out, please don’t give up on me”Sebastian contested.

“You’re going to have a kid Sebastian”

As soon as the words escaped her mouth, Sebastian’s hold on her hands loosen up. It was like someone dumped a cold water to the German driver. The gears seem to be turning up inside his head and Y/N knows that Sebastian understands why things can’t work as they hope for.

“Hanna is pregnant?” Sebastian slumped in his seat in disbelief.

Y/N nods, “I saw her in Abu Dhabi. She’s around 7 months pregnant right now and she needs you Sebastian”

Then she proceeds to take out the ultrasound photos and slide it across Sebastian. She knew Sebastian well that he is very fond of children and the evidence that there is a growing child that was his would sway him. A flicker of awe graced his face as he looks through the photos.

“That kid is yours Sebastian and you have a responsibility with Hanna to raise that child”Y/N reminded.

Her job here was done. She could text Hanna later that she no longer has to worry because Sebastian will take responsibility towards the kid. Y/N removes the ring, it was Sebastian’s after all. She gets up from the table and walks away before her heart shatters again.

It didn’t take long for Sebastian to follow her out to the streets.

“Where are you going? We haven’t fixed us yet?” Sebastian asked.

“Sebastian what you need to fix is your family. Hanna needs you right now. She is in a difficult position and you have a responsibility towards her. You have to be with her”Y/N repeated.

She wondered if she repeated it several times then maybe it won’t hurt anymore. However, the way Sebastian immediately held both of her hands and kissed it, is making it difficult to do such forgetting.

“But Y/N I don’t love her”

There it was. Those one-liners that Sebastian says crumbles every resolve that Y/N has. She might be a brave woman, but Sebastian knows just the right thing to say and she is defenseless.

“I don’t love her Y/N, I only love you” Sebastian restated “I will take responsibility for the kid but it doesn’t mean that I have to stop loving you”

Y/N didn’t know if Sebastian was just plain stupid or he was just a failed romantic. She let out a laugh as tears finally fall down her cheeks. She doesn’t care if passerbys might think of her as stupid but she cannot hold her emotions any longer.

“Sebastian, I will not allow myself to be the other woman that is the reason to have a destroyed family. I cannot do that to your child. Can’t you understand that?”Y/N frustratedly screams “I want you and I love you but I cannot be selfish because there is a child involved”

That was the thing about Y/N, she was always so selfless to the point that what she wants is irrelevant. Right now, all she cares about is that kid, that Hanna is carrying, gets a father. If she has to break up with Sebastian then so be it.

For the second time that night, she walks away from Sebastian.

“Don’t go” and Sebastian was not done chasing her. His hands were wrapped around her waist and she was trapped in a back hug. She could feel his face buried around her shoulders as he cries.

“Seb”

“We can work it out. I can be the father of the kid and I won’t run away from that responsibility. I’ll love that kid and I’ll support whatever he or she wants to become. I’ll coparent with Hanna” Sebastian reasons out “But my heart, its all yours. You are all I want and all I need”

Y/N closes her eyes as Sebastian turns her around. She fears that the moment she opens her eyes and look at Sebastian then it was game over. She would blindly agree to what Sebastian is suggesting. Knowing how stubborn and convincing Seb is, Y/N would be swayed. And of course, for the most damning reason, Y/N is truly and madly deeply in love with Sebastian.

“Please let’s just work things out. I will be a good father to the kid, and I will be a loyal partner to you. I will do my best, just give me a chance” Sebastian begged.

“Seb please, I can’t do this”

“I can give you time”Sebastian refuses to give up “If you can’t forgive me right now then I understand. I will work hard to earn your forgiveness. I will do my best to show you that I am still the man that you fell for. Please Y/N let me prove myself again to-“

“You need to listen to me Seb”

Their foreheads touching and they could only hear the sounds of car passing and their sniffling. Both of them were trying their best not to cry but it was really hard especially when they both think that this whole relationship is nearing its end.

“I love you Sebastian and I may be stupid because after everything I still love you”Y/N admits. There was a sliver of hope in Sebastian’s eyes. “And I love you enough that I will not let you be forced to choose. You have an upcoming kid and that kid needs your time and your love Seb. You may not love Hanna but that kid needs you. I need to let you go so you can be a good father to that kid.”

How did they end up this way? That’s all that was running in their minds. They would have been talking rings and building a family just months ago but now everything is all complicated. Both of them resigning their fact that they have to let go.

“If I had things figured out, would you still give me a chance?” and it was without any doubt, Y/N nodded in silence.

Sebastian’s warm hands slipped the cold ring back to her hand. It confused the woman why Sebastian had to give it back to her when the ring was from Sebastian’s mother to begin with. She believes that she doesn’t own that.

“Take the ring” Sebastian insisted “I want that ring to be a reminder that I’m going to figure out myself so that I can return as a better man to you. You deserve that ring because I made up my mind that you are the one that I love and you are the only one I want to marry in the future”

There were no people in sight except the two of them but the night sky and its twinkling stars served as their witness for that night. It was just the two of them with their prayers to the heaven or some higher being hoping that they could work things out.

#sebastian vettel x reader #about you series #f1 x reader #f1 fanfic #sebastian vettel angst #sebastian vettel imagine #sebastian vettel fluff

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mongrel-mage · 1 month ago

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A Spoiler-free review of Edge of Sleep

Fucking incredible. Like...9/10 and the only reason I say so is because there were only 6 20-ish minute episodes and I wanted the show to be longer and give us more backstory on the characters and such. It'll be a bit longer of a post, but rest assured that there are no spoilers under the link.

Main differences from the podcast, but still minor: the character of The Trespasser does not feature in the show, nor do Dave's story about the Moobles and the ensuing hallucinations he describes. However, I was satisfied with how they used the information from The Trespasser's subplot in the actual TV show, and there was a little reference to him at the beginning of Episode 5 that made me smile, so I'm really not that fussed about those things being missing.

I'm going to take a minute to rave about Eve Harlow, who plays Linda. What a goddamn POWERHOUSE of an actress, honestly. Perfect casting. She nailed a character who is tough as iron, focused, determined, and intelligent without making Linda come across as unnecessarily cold or unlikeable--I'll go so far to say that Linda was my favorite character (by a slim margin, but still there). Eve Harlow has an incredibly expressive face and eyes that convey complex emotions without relying on the same few expressions or overacting what she's feeling. I really want to see her get some sort of awards or accolades for her performance because she carried damn near all of her scenes.

Let's talk about Mark. I already knew that he could act well because I'd watched his other projects, but most/if not all of them have at least some level of comedy, humor, or character who lightens the mental load at least a little bit. We all know that he's a giggly bitch and likes to have fun, and there's nothing wrong with that. That said, I'm comfortable saying that Edge of Sleep is easily his most ambitiously dramatic project--there was a lot of raw stress, grief, anger, and pain that Dave Torres went through, and I was impressed at how well Mark portrayed it. It's obvious how much he tries and how hard he cares; it's so clear that this wasn't some celebrity vanity project. You can really feel the love and the energy and the care that he put into this, and I was, like I said, impressed at his range as a drama/horror actor. There were some moments and expressions he had in the show (namely in the first episode, when the people at the party are giving Dave a hard time about his sleep disorder and past episodes) that hit me unexpectedly hard. Amazing performance, Mark. I'm proud of you.

I also want to take another moment to rave about the makeup and hair department. Standing ovation. The gradual increase of the characters' exhaustion and general levels of dishevelment (the thing that stuck with me the most was Linda's makeup and hair, SO good) looked very real and read well on camera. Anyone who knows me irl knows what a freak I am for good practical effects/makeup, and I want to make sure that those artists are acknowledged and appreciated. I'm also going to throw in some kudos for whoever was behind the Elephant Monster--that thing was FUCKED UP (/pos). I love a Creature and it was sufficiently more disturbing than I had expected it to be, since The Elephant isn't given much of a description in the podcast. I'm not sure if it was practical effects or something computer generated, but whatever it was it was amazing. Hats off to the Creature Crew!

Lastly: I WANT SEASON TWO. GIVE IT TO ME. I WANT TO RIP IT APART WITH MY TEETH. I HAVE BEEN GOOD AND COHERENT FOR THIS LONG NOW GIVE ME MORE.

Also. I promised no spoilers and there shall be none. But that last shot of the last episode? fucking HAUNTING. Here's hoping that us catapulting Edge of Sleep to the TOP FIVE, BEFORE THE OFFICIAL LAUNCH, will seriously throw some weight to whoever can decide to give us a second season.

#the edge of sleep #teos no spoilers #no spoilers teos #review #markiplier #mark fischbach #dave torres #eve harlow #linda teos #teos #the edge of sleep amazon prime #edge of sleep #I'm FERAL FOR IT DON'T LOOK AT ME

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nishloves · 1 year ago

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sweater (pt2); jeon wonwoo

pairing : wonwoo x f! reader

part 1 | part 2 ←

theme : angst 🌩️ / fluff ☁️

words : 1.5k (approx.)

• based on song heather by conan gray

• do read part1 before this!

wonwoo was your bestfriend and now after your performance you still had to face him, you still had to face your thoughts, do you get the happy ending you yearned for?

she was gone, not a word said, no goodbyes to anyone, all you and your friends knew was that she left in a hurry, today again you were draped in a pastel yellow sweater of wonwoo, you never understood why he had a sweater collection but you felt content, you felt calm.

when he came running to see your stage, to see your performance; you had somehow already forgiven him for all the emotional pain he had caused you, it wasn't his fault, not at all but you chose to stay away from him for a while, just to gather your bearings, your thoughts— with a hope to move on from him.

you didn't want to ruin the most beautiful thing you had, the thing which you cherished the most and at the end of the performance, when he congratulated you and confronted you, you just said that you were a little upset at him for changing partners. he said sorry to you and you admitted your foolishness, admitting that it was a very childish thing to be upset at; but you could never tell him what exactly was bothering you.

she had vanished from the university grounds after your performance, neither you or wonwoo had noticed it, you both were too busy celebrating your successful stage.

you remember people coming up to you and complimenting on how raw your vocals and lyrics were, little did they know they were your actual emotions.

you remembered mingyu giving you a knowing glance when he came to congratulate you and saw how tensed you were when wonwoo stood beside you, you asked, "how did you know?"

"i have known for a long time," he smiled, and walked away.

it was mingyu who broke the news of her departure, her sudden departure. deep in your heart you wanted her to come up to you and congratulate or celebrate with you too, you had come to look up to her. you had eventually, ironically and sadly started liking her, but really, how could you hate her? she's an angel.

you remembered wishing, asking god to take her out of your life, love asks you to do stupid things. you remembered your last thought about her, but then again kinda wish she were dead.

so now when she was nowhere in the scene, why weren't you able to tell wonwoo about your feelings still? you remember that you had made up your mind to confess to him, why didn't you do it yet?

you even felt jealous of her walk, she would have such an aura of confidence that you would lack, she would go to the gym almost everyday, she would be kindest to people who were mean to her, she would pay attention to her classes, you were damn sure she had never thought to sabotage anyone before, like you did.

why would wonwoo ever kiss you? you were farthest from an angel, you were farthest from good (so you thought) why would he ever like someone like you when he liked someone as pretty as her?

you wanted to say sorry to her, ask for forgiveness for every bad thought you had of her, because she ran to see your performance when hers had barely even finished.

you knew wonwoo prioritised you over her, you knew he probably liked you a lot more than her, but you knew he would never like you in that way.

you had started hanging out with mingyu more after that, finding solace in his presence, he was such a golden retriever, he had the kindest words, and he had the sweetest of smiles, not like wonwoo's though.

you and wonwoo would still spend a lot of time together though, you hugged the polyester sweater, wonwoo had given you again as you smiled up at him, it was one of those dessert nights, it was his treat as always and you were hell bent on devouring icecreams.

but then you received a text and wonwoo looked over your shoulder,

mingyu : hey y/n! how about we go to movies tomorrow?

you smiled at the text and wonwoo scoffed,

"are you okay?" you asked.

"do you like him better now?" wonwoo asked pouting, as a small giggle left your lips, it warmed his heart. wonwoo remembered about all the time he spent with her. yet it couldn't match up with any time he spent with you, he scolded himself for not realising that you might get closer to mingyu.

"oh? maybe," you grinned as you pocketed your phone making wonwoo clear his throat.

"right, does he allow you to have half of his closet?"

"no we aren't that close yet."

"did he spend like a thousand dollars for you just for dessert nights?"

you smiled up at wonwoo and oh, that was a sight to behold.

"stop complaining now wonwoo," you hit his chest lightly as he fake grimaced.

"now I can't talk about my feelings to my beloved" wonwoo sighed.

you tensed at his choice of words as you looked back at him, a bitter taste in your mouth,

"well you liked her better," you didn't mean to say it that sharply.

"what?" wonwoo asked visibly confused.

"forget it, it doesn't matter," you shook him off as you turned towards the exit of icecream parlour,

"it matters, it's about you," wonwoo stopped you, urging you to come back inside.

he understood something was wrong, he wasn't that naive. he never trusted you to be angry at him for that petty of matter but as you were smiling again, he took it, and now he knows he should have pried further.

"wonwoo, I just," you looked away, you knew you had to do it now, you knew you had to find her socials and apologize to her after this, but it was a lot, you had never confessed before, never to anyone whom you had liked as much as wonwoo.

"y/n, say, what was that?" wonwoo asked again, his glasses resting on tip of his nose as you could make out a worried expression from his eyes, his thin lips were turned up in worry, his eyebrows scrunched up and how you hated how pretty you found him.

"wonwoo, I liked you, I might still do, I don't know anymore, please don't hate me, it's just... god, how did I even get it out," you panicked as wonwoo grasped your hands, pulling you closer for a hug.

"breathe y/n, don't panic please, you're gonna make me worry, hmm..?"

"why didn't you tell me if you liked me that much?"

this man was making you go nuts.

"I just...I know you would have never liked me—"

"but I like you."

"you don't understand wonwoo, you like me, platonically— you like her... she's so pretty—"

"y/n," wonwoo asserted, looking at your eyes, "you're beautiful."

"she's so pure and kindhearted—"

"you are too."

"she's so angelic and—"

"you're ethereal, y/n, there is no one like you, trust me," wonwoo said, his fingers grazing at you lips to keep you quiet.

"please believe me, I would never like her more than you, platonically or romantically," he whispered in your ears and you were so thankful that there were only you two in the ice cream parlour and you had occupied the farthest seat.

your heartbeat fastened at his words, you couldn't help but notice how genuine his eyes looked, how you would never fail to fall deep into them.

"do you really—"

"y/n, I admit that I did have a small crush on her but— it was always you, the crush swished away the moment I saw you the next day, smiling and laughing as you sat with mingyu on the park bench, you had worn your favorite t-shirt and you looked gorgeous in it, that crush blew away the moment I heard you laugh at one of my jokes, y/n... I... I am sorry I hurt you this much, please... please forgive me."

"wonwoo—"

"I am serious y/n, i really do like you."

you pursed your lips as you actually stopped breathing for a second, a small tear unknowingly welled up in you eyes as wonwoo rushed to wipe it.

"please forgive me, I love you."

would you ever not forgive him?

so when you had texted mingyu, that you're cancelling the movie plans for your date, wonwoo's hands were in yours. when you had fallen on the footpath because of your clumsiness, wonwoo's hands grasped you. when you were buying that huge cake to celebrate (as an excuse for continuing dessert night) wonwoo had you in his embrace. when you had cooked a short meal for both of you, wonwoo's lips had grazed your cheeks and when you both fell asleep to television's sound, you were in wonwoo's arms.

and you thank her for it.

(was going to post this tomorrow but wasn't able to stop myself for three more hours—)

tags: @feat-sun @dearharshii @everyonehatesshani @chamboa @love13tter

#seventeen #svt #svt imagines #svt au #svt fanfic #seventeen x you #jeon wonwoo #svt wonwoo #wonwoo x reader #wonwoo x y/n #wonwoo #svt fluff #svt angst #kim mingyu #svt mingyu #mingyu #nishloves

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avaelangel · 5 months ago

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Watched the finale. I have some thoughts. And I miss Tumblr, so it's going to be here. Spoilers. Spelling errors. Annoying takes. A lot of letters.

To be completely honest, it's not perfect all the way. It's a bit shakey and seems like it suffered because of the strikes, maybe? I still love my bastards, but well oh well.

I didn't expect Daniel to be so pro-Lestat? It was very satisfying for him, to see him unveil Armand like that. I think, Armand's ''How dare you?'' could have been played up, since he was growing some affection for Molloy. But I expected a full fight. I know it isn't the last we see of the manipulative gremlin, but still. Hate him, but what a face.

There's still questions to be answered and details to know. Lestat mastered up some strength to save at least Louis and now we know, that at least about something Armand didn't lie. Claudia really looked at Lestat, while burning.

Loustat getting closure was very beautiful. Very raw and human, not what happens in the book, really, which I loved. Everything showed, including how actually free Sam and Jacob are with each other. Lestat, of the two of them, barely holding on and trying to ease the tension? I hate them, I love them. I understand both of them and I hate that too. Kinda.

We all knew what is going to happen to Daniel. He was actually less frail that I expected him to be, walking up to two vampires in a fight. Damn, boy. Again, even Talamasca thought that he's in danger. But Armand didn't retaliate, probably because he knew that it's over.

Akasha? Hey, girl? To be honest, I haven't met her fully yet, I only have two books under my belt. But it was such a funny little flex. This whole scene was a little silly, but I think I also got too used to the vampire grandeur that Armand and Santiago spewed.

Sam? Talamasca guy? I need more details on that, but he's a vibe, I'm glad he stays.

The mention of Akasha did throw me off and I thought, at first, it was her who Lestat couldn't get out of his mind. But I really look forward to the terror The Ones Who Must be Kept will bring. And Marius? I don't trust him. Lestat is probably the one I trust the most here, and that's saying something.

Also, Dan is sort of pre-Bright Falls Alan Wake now? Who is also a vampire? But I love it. I hope he drives Armand insane soon. It seems that Eric Bogosian is very happy in this role and I'm very happy to see him in it. Was Daniel turned out of spite, really? It really seems, at least for now, that Armand came and went like ''You wanted it all those decades ago? Here you go, bitch!''.

As far as I've seen, AMC's marketing, especially in terms of merch, is very meh. It would have been so smart to release the book in the cover they have showed in the show. There was a literal close up! Come on, guys.

It is great that Louis is not in a relationship right now. We know that he will be in the third season, he might go on tour with Lestat or just take some hits at first from the ones that are willing to square up. Saying this, I'm so excited for Gabrielle and I hope there would be jokes about Lestat being a true motherfucker.

SUPER DUPER SPOILER THAT MIGHT BE WRONG.

Claudia. Haunting. I really need Delainey back. And I really hope Armand didn't fucking lie about her and Madeleine's end. I will stitch his eyes closed otherwise. God, I'm probably reading Vampire Armand when I find it.

I guess...That's the end? But there's so much left. I hope the 3d season will bloom into existence sooner.

#interview with the vampire #iwtv #iwtv spoilers #almond the little lying bitch #I miss my best friend claudia very much #lestat de lioncourt #daniel molloy #the vampire armand #the vampire lestat #goes on tour #louis de pointe du lac #i guess now it's just du lac good for him #can someone get lestat a new robe please

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ramblings-of-a-mad-cat · 8 months ago

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I feel like it isn't talked about nearly enough that Harry freed Kreacher.

And I'm realizing that's because no one else, literally no one I've talked to in this fandom in the last seventeen years, interpreted the scene that way. But when I first read DH, I picked up on it immediately.

Because Harry unequivocally does free Kreacher when he gives him Regulus' locket, and I think that's so important. I get why you might disagree, because they never actually state in the dialogue that Kreacher is free. It's all subtext. You might also say that jewelry is different from clothing, but I don't think we have enough examples to rule it out. (Lucius was tricked into freeing Dobby with a sock that wasn't even his. Far as I'm concerned, if you can wear it, then it counts.)

Harry freed Dobby without hesitation, and why wouldn't he? The sweet little guy was miserable, trapped in servitude to the evil Malfoys. But Kreacher? He was the racist little bastard that betrayed Sirius, Sirius, to the Death Eaters, and had a hand in his death. Of course Harry hated him. Even in OOTP, the point is made that Kreacher cannot be freed, even if Sirius would love to be rid of him, because he simply knows too much information, and they need to keep him bound in service so that he can't pass it on.

In this, we see that Harry's status as an ally to the House Elves is conditional. He wasn't even raised in the magical world like Ron, there's no reason for him to see Elf Slavery as okay, but he just accepts it as part of the magical world because the elves are "happy" and writes off Hermione's campaign as one of her many obsessions. Ron didn't take it seriously, so neither did Harry. He was happy to free Dobby, but to him Dobby was a special case.

Then comes the tale of Regulus. Harry is told all about a Death Eater who had a change of heart for no other reason than because he loved Kreacher, and Voldemort tortured Kreacher, leaving him for dead. Harry cannot fathom it - after all, this is Kreacher. The monster who betrayed Sirius. But Sirius mistreated Kreacher at every turn, something that Harry laughed off because Kreacher was so unpleasant - but it doesn't change the fact that Sirius was literally Kreacher's master, and he regularly abused him. It's not like it's Kreacher's fault that Sirius was abused himself, or that Sirius had to return to Grimmauld Place.

Seeing Kreacher utterly break down was uncomfortable for Harry, because it forced him to confront an uncomfortable truth that conflicted with the worldview he'd set up for himself about the Elves - and about Sirius. Even twenty years later, Kreacher is still attempting to self-harm after failing to follow Regulus' orders, and it's safe to assume Regulus didn't tell him to do that.

At this point, Hermione breaks down too, and she asks them - Harry and Ron - to see what she sees. "Oh don't you see how sick it is, how they've got to obey?" And for the first time, Harry sees it. On a grand scale, he sees it. It's raw, it's awkward, it's painful to confront. But Harry comes to realize that Hermione is right. (As in most things.) Slavery is not okay, no matter the context. The House Elves should be free. Not just the nice ones like Dobby, but even the nasty ones like Kreacher. Because he sees Kreacher trying to "punish himself" just as Dobby has done many times...and I think it hits Harry that no one deserves that.

So he takes a chance. Because freeing Kreacher is still a risk. It gives him back his autonomy. He knows all kinds of information. He knows that Regulus stole the Locket, and that Harry is hunting for it too. If Kreacher were to turn around and backstab the Golden Trio, if Voldemort learned what he knew, everything would be lost. And Kreacher could do that. But Harry chooses to believe that he won't. And he recognizes that even that risk is no excuse to keep a slave.

Cause here's the thing. Even if jewelry "doesn't count" (highly debatable imo) that doesn't mean Harry would know that. So far as he knows, he's giving Kreacher something to wear, and he has personal experience with what that means to Elves. The entire scene reads like Kreacher is being freed. Call it a headcanon if you must but I have believed this for years.

Yes, Kreacher stayed in Grimmauld Place. Of course he did. He loves it there, that's his home. Where is he going to go? And yes, he continues to serve Harry after this and even calls him "Master." Because that's what he knows. I'm not saying Harry broke the conditioning. That kind of thing would take years. If she'd been allowed to, Winky would have carried on serving The Crouches after her dismissal. But the important thing is, Harry gave Kreacher the locket. Whatever enchantment it was that bound Kreacher in service to Harry would have broken when Harry gave him the locket.

I know everyone loves to mock the moment at the end when Harry's first thought after defeating Voldemort is whether or not his slave will bring him a sandwich, but, guys. It's a throwaway line about a sandwich. Harry isn't going to order Kreacher to do it. At most he's going to ask. Kreacher is old, and pretty set in his ways. Deprogramming might not even be possible for him at this point. But everything we see of their relationship following Regulus' tale shows Harry respecting Kreacher as a friend, not a slave. He gave Kreacher his autonomy back by freeing him, and, when Kreacher made the choice to stay, Harry treated him with kindness.

This is actually blowing my mind because for so many years I just took this as a given but I realized I'd never seen anyone else talking about it and it turns out I'm in the minority for interpreting it this way? It just seemed so straightforward to me...

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highlordofkrypton · 5 months ago

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Writing - Drafting Process

Clearly, I am avoiding actually writing by talking about writing. I was thinking about the drafting process today, and maybe this can help someone! For me, this process applies specifically to long stories to which I already know the conclusion, not my oneshots or update-as-I-go fics.

Honestly, I only found out that I write this way after my first fanfic. It's something that I do naturally, but with all the fun writing discussions I got to participate in lately, it was a fun exercise to actually break down what I do. It might sound daunting, but I promise that it's not as formal as you think!

I'm absolute a ✨vibes✨ writer, the drafting process is mostly for consistency and making sure I get to the end!

There are many ways to write, so for those who might still be looking for their process or those looking for something new, hopefully this can inspire you.

DRAFT 0: OUTLINE

For larger stories, I always get a surge of inspiration. I usually create a DUMP document where I dump all my ideas. At the very top of the document, I create an outline with the major story segments and then whenever I think of a scene, I add into that outline.

For example, my outline for my ACOTAR Prequel was created in chronological order, but also by location.

I would also start by adding:

The scenes that come to mind and I have muse to write

The necessary scenes that are either fundamental to character development or plot development

The transitional scenes

So, in that order, I can get a pretty decent idea of what I need to get done.

I also always make character sheets when I write. Not in a formal way, but just a page where I dump anything that I wrote in the story so I remember word for word what I said. That or I'll color code highlight, but a character dump is easier.

It's absolute chaos, but I prefer ideas to be as raw as possible. I'm an emotional writer, so I want to be reminded of it the way it came to me.

DRAFT 1: SKELETON /JUST WRITE

The writing starts here for me. The goal is to just write. Don't think, don't question, just write and depending on what medium you're using, drop a comment with notes for your future self to come back to. Sometimes, I'll even add a line between sections that I don't want to write to say "COME BACK AND INSERT TRANSITIONAL SCENE", highlight it or mark it in red.

More often than not, I'll start by writing out the scenes that appear in my mind vividly. For example, in Wildflowers, the first scene I ever wrote was actually Chapter 4. I knew that I wanted to write out Hybern Castle and if you read the scene completely, it was barely edited because it came to me so strongly.

Then, once I've finished writing the "muse driven" scenes, I start writing by importance.

Do not worry about about fleshing out the story. That will come later.

If I'm struggling with finishing, then I usually tag in a beta reader who's job at this point is to answer one question and one question only: "Is this good?" I think a more accurate phrasing would be -- Am I on the right track for this story? I'll do another post for how I work with my beta.

DRAFT 2: FLESH OUT THE STORY

At this point, I only focus on the story and character development. Don't worry about the little details. For long stories, I might choose to print the story out because it helps refresh and reset my brain. It's also easier to read/annotate hundreds of pages this way.

Read through your story once.

Add notes to where you feel the story needs to flow better, either add transitional scenes, or something that need to add or hinder to your character.

Write out the scenes.

Bring in the beta and ask: "Story-wise, is there anything missing? Is there anything about the character that needs to be clarified?"

For example, a question that came up for Wildflowers is why would Tamlin be different from his abusive father and his siblings? He wasn't. Not at the beginning. He would have been raised to look down on humans, so in the second draft, I went back and thought of scenes that would help inform his choice to empathize with humans.

DRAFT 3: SELECTIVE READ / EDITING

Calling this draft 3 is tentative because you may choose to do multiple drafts of this section. Once I've gotten most of the story down, I will pick one element that I want to focus on editing. I will do a read through and annotate what needs to be fixed for each "element".

For example, I might want to check the consistency of the character physical descriptions, so I will read once focusing ONLY on pieces of writing that contain that. Then, maybe I wanna go back and make sure Rhysand's voice is sassy enough. Another read through focusing ONLY on his dialogue.

I find this method is really great because it allows you to work on that specific element rather than getting overwhelmed with everything to fix.

These are what I usually read through if you're looking for ideas:

Character descriptions

Lore elements

Dialogue

Smut

Show vs. Tell

Tense (past vs. present)

Relationship depth (especially for side characters)

One would think this is where I would add foreshadowing but I'm not that organized of a writer. Again, I just go with the ✨vibes✨ and it usually works out.

DRAFT 4: FINAL EDIT

I call this the final edit because I will probably write forever if you let me. In this draft, I focus on proofreading, grammar, sentence structure and clarity of the writing itself.

Yes, there are typos that usually escape and haunt you forever especially if you're a binder like me.

I also get my beta to help me with this as a second set of eyes, especially to give me feedback on stylistic choices.

I don't know if this helped anyone, but this was fun to write! I like doing guides and thinking about stuff, so yeah, this is usually my process. It takes about 2-3 months if I'm locked and loaded focus-wise.

Let me know if you have questions, I'm happy to help!

#writing process #writing #creative writing #drafts #writers on tumblr #writerblr #ao3 author #fanfiction writer #ao3 #my guides

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volkswagonblues · 2 months ago

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JEJSJDAH HI making myself known is actually terrifying #socialanxietywhooop but here we go

I JUST FINISHED READING FIREBENDER'S GUIDE + DELETED SCENES AND OH. MY. LORD. quite literally obsessed I'm sitting here at work zoning out because it has left such an impact on me...where do I even start?

okay so I recently got back into atla because well I just started feeling so nostalgic?? and a zukka spiral later led me to your fic (one of my favorite jujutsu kaisen authors had your fic bookmarked. I knew I had to do it.) and well!!

the characterization. I'm absolutely obsessed. the way you wrote sokka as a cherry dude but he still has issues!! the depiction of said issues. zuko as he tries and tries so hard to do better even when he fails...personal favorite scene that made me giggle was when he ran back to apologize to li and lo btw cackled out loud on public transportation

but I guess what I'm trying to say is that firebender's guide, to me, feels like a really good depiction of how startlingly flawed and human we all are. like. not inherently bad but not all good, because no one is ever all good. it feels like such a good character study of zuko and all that he is since realizing only he can regain his own honor. it's just...how do I even express how lovely and raw and real it is in the best way?

AND THE WAY YOU WROTE ZUKKA. giggles. they're so!! even when they're mad at each other they have. a certain understanding. it's expanding on what we know about canon so beautifully. the gentle way sokka loves zuko while being mean enough about it because zuko just needs a little push when it comes to certain things. the desperate way zuko needs sokka but realizes that it can be gentle and fond. just. [incoherent screaming] THE WAY YOU WRITE YEARNING OHHHHH. MY.

and that's not even covering the wonderful way the plot took me for a ride. it was so beautifully crafted. I wish I could be you :") I was just as immersed in the larger plot as I was with the zukka dynamic. the worldbuilding ahdhajdj I respect SERIOUSLY respect the amount of research and dedication you put into this fic. genuinely. it all came together to craft such a beautiful picture and I'm HERE FOR IT!

anyhow. concluding what essentially became a rant. tysm for blessing the world with this fic 🙏

Hey! okay, sorry this has been sitting in my inbox for a week because it's such a lovely message and I'm so touched that someone is reaching out to me about this fic. It was my first proper, completed, novel-length fic and I wrote it during COVID lockdown when I like, jobless with no outlet at all for my mental energy.

The process of writing the fic taught me a lot about plotting--I went the screenwriter's route and used the Save the Cat beat sheet (you can google it, it's basically a screenwriter's tool for plotting out movies, which is a medium that doesn't take shaggy and meandering very well. There's an excel version for novelists here: Elizabeth Davis’s Save the Cat Beat Sheet Spreadsheet for Novels)

I didn't read this book back then, but a book that really helps with worldbuilding is John Truby's The Anatomy of Story. I think some of the best books on plotting and storytelling are done by screenwriters.

And about the fic in general--ATLA is such a beautiful show and the zukka summer of 2020 was SUCH a crazy time because everyone was so desperate for a mental escape, I'm happy it still holds up!! I love both characters. I love thinking through the moral implications of the history in ATLA's worldbuilding and playing with the fantasy rules of that universe. Thanks so much for reading and thanks so much for brightening my day by telling me about it <3

#atla #my fic

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kohakhearts · 1 year ago

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tonight's anipoke rabbit hole (actually something i've been largely contemplating since i started rewatching the os, but i've been contemplating it Even More tonight LMAO) is the does gary oak is ash's childhood best friend (established) discussion, which...maybe it's because i already knew the direction of their arc when i went back to episode one, but i think i actually disagree with the notion that episode one presents a continuity error, i.e. that it suggests gary doesn't know ash. to save you all from my ramblings i put them under a cut but tl;dr this is a hashed out conversation i'm putting my two cents into for no reason other than that i can and i want to.

i will say that like...takeshi shudo's novelization does kind of contest my reading here, but it doesn't explicitly say ash and gary don't know each other, either. (iirc, what it actually says is that ash knows gary sort of peripherally and has the impression of him being A Bit Of A Jerk, because he comes from a family of local celebrities and it's inflated his ego - which also debunks the childhood friends thing, just in a different way. all things considered, this does make it pretty clear to me that ash and gary were not originally intended to be childhood friends however the head writers of the silver league arc were part of the team from the beginning or at least fairly early on in the os, so. take that as you will.)

i say this in reference to both the original and the dub, but there are some interesting language nuances that get cut out of the dub because they...obviously don't make a lot of sense. but i was doing my rewatch with the dub, so let me talk about that first. 'cause i actually watched the scene a couple times trying to decide if it really did feel like it challenged the childhood friends thing. and...i don't think it does?

the first line gary says that makes everyone say he doesn't seem to know ash is "well, you must be ash," which. yeah. okay, that'd be a pretty weird thing to say to a guy you already know, but i have one (1) strong thesis here and it's this: that's just how ten year olds are, lmao. the second thing he says (regarding how late ash is) is "at least you get to meet me." that one...okay, fair enough. now i'm starting to sound like the crazy one for saying This Proves Nothing. but you can't tell me ash's response to this isn't straight-up weird, ok, because he just kinda c: and goes "gary?"

this is...a poor translation, for the most part, but i'll get to that in a second. even watching this with no knowledge of the original, that call and response kinda feels like someone playing along with a bit. there's no way that he knows this guy's name just from the cheerleaders he literally bowled over to get to the lab. it's clear he already knows it from somewhere else (and following with the novelization, it's definitely the family of local celebrities thing, although that same novelization stipulates that gary doesn't even attend school in pallet town, so this is all around just a really Absurd series of events - that's why i love it so much, but still).

anyway, then gary says "that's mr gary to you" and ash's c: turns into a o: he's like. flabbergasted lmao. and he only reacts again to be like whaaat you got your first pokemon???

the rest of their interaction is just "can i see your pokemon" and "sucks to suck, sucker," so not incredibly noteworthy other than that ash goes from, like, weirdly polite with his little "um, excuse me" to when gary fucks off and he's suddenly pissed.

so in my efforts to like, dig into this more, i found that fan subs don't...completely translate the intention here, either. mostly i only got to thinking about this tonight because i was making a Joke and i pulled up a scene from this episode and it happened to be this one. for whatever bizarre reason, my choice to download Every Episode Of The Pokemon Anime led me to downloading japanese raws, not the dub. but that's beside the point. i actually sat down and listened to this scene with no english subtitles, and i was like. wait. i think this fits my thesis. let me explain.

(it all started when i noticed that when gary goes from addressing ash to addressing the crowd around them, he switches from using the pronoun "boku" to using "watashi," which probably is meant to show that he's trying to come across as Serious and Mature. i have not watched all of gary's episodes in japanese, but i've watched enough to know this is pretty irregular. i thought it was really silly, especially when...put in context.)

SO, in the japanese version, that whole "at least you get to meet me" bit isn't there - that was the translators' attempt at working around something untranslatable, because the actual progression after ash bumps into him here is something like:

>you're satoshi, aren't you? >yeah, it's satoshi-san >or should i say satoshi-kun?

which is...where the nickname comes from, obviously. and it's why he gets that Look on his face...you know the one

(this whole scene is very expressive and i love it, lmao)

even in subs, this is a weird thing to translate, so most people seem to emphasize the reference to ash's tardiness, like in the dub. but it misses some of the character beats laid out here, unfortunately. the satoshi-kun to ashy-boy pipeline is very complex. the shortcomings of the english language and all that.

anyway, gary's next line being "that's mr gary to you" does imply something about honorifics, but when ash just calls him "shigeru," he actually says "hey that's shigeru-kun to you," which doesn't suggest that he's telling ash off for being too chummy with him, as a stranger, so much as he's trying to say hey, we aren't friends, make some distance. because the next thing he says is something to the point of "you're supposed to be my rival, but you're already falling behind."

then the polite little "excuse me" of the english dub is actually ash saying "shigeru-kun?" which does seem awfully polite of him, but then he immediately drops it in his next line and just refers to him as "shigeru" again, so i maintain that it literally feels like he's just humouring gary here a bit lmao.

also worth noting, when gary drives off, ash in the dub says "i'll show you," but in the original just repeats the word "rival," looking very Worked Up.

also, just in general, i do think some of gary's lines here are like...pure exposition. he tells ash he's professor oak's grandson because the audience needs to know it. that doesn't really mean that we as the audience need to - or even should - assume it means he thinks ash doesn't know it, because he clearly does. i mean, he knew his name. that probably speaks for something, lol.

anyway, back to my thesis: this literally just reads like classic "first day of middle school" fuckery. gary oak is literally displaying symptoms of 12-year-old girl syndrome and ash is playing along because that's what pals do, right. like all i'm saying is that these two entered sixth grade and gary suddenly was like hey you can't sit beside me anymore and ash just kinda shrugged and was like haha ok, you're so quirky, and then only later when he heard gary shit-talking him realized hey wait a second, you're a bitch, we aren't friends anymore (and if this feels like an exaggeration, i work with children in this age bracket and believe me when i say i wish it were shdfhjdk).

in conclusion? yeah, the childhood best friends thing makes perfect sense. did they have a fight before this scene? has it been Years? no. gary just woke up and decided to start shit one day. most compelling relationship of the century, if i'm being honest.

ADDENDUM: when professor oak sees ash, he says something about "thats right, there were four people scheduled to see me today," but gary already seemed to know ash was going to be there, which leads me to believe they have at least enough of an established relationship for gary to know becoming a pokemon trainer was a goal of ash's and he had in fact gotten his license. because clearly professor oak didn't give him that info!

#taylor.txt #taylor watches anipoke #*meta #...I GUESS?? i don't think im saying anything someone else hasn't already said before #but in case you needed more more reasons to believe that gary is the funniest character in this whole anime #im here to offer you some #anyway. good night #gary oak #goes in the tag so i can always refer back to this moment of genius here #and so anyone who follows me can easily find it and know im NOT normal about him </3

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dreamwritesimagines · 1 year ago

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It’s CMA-

I’m already planning to yell at you and I haven’t even started the chapter yet. in preparation: DREAM WHAT THE FUCK. Okay now that that’s out of the way, im going to go read it.

Ugh I hate her dad so much.

Aw sister bonding! And their aunt and uncle being protective; you love to see it.

I don’t love the idea that Josie thinks that part of the reason clover got married is to protect herself from their parents because I’m worried she’ll say that to Benedict and crush him. I mean he already thinks that she’s only with him to avoid angering the ton but still.

FUCK CLOVER DONT LIE TO HIM. YOU NEED TO TALK TO HIM!!!!!!!!!! DONT TRY TO PROTECT HIS FEELINGS PROTECT YOURSELF. Ugh Ben is going to be so upset when he finds out.

Going from holding her own wrist out of fear to squeezing his for reassurance (for his or hers, I couldn’t really say). I love the thought that instead of squeezing hands or whatever they squeeze each other’s wrists. The entire concept is so poetic I just-

SCREAMING FUCK CLOVER NO FUCK NO FUCK NO FUCK NO FUCK NO FUCK NO NO NO NO DONT SELF DESTRUCT FUCK FUCK FUCK

(I am hoping and praying that she has more of the seeds somewhere but I am so scared. This is going to crush Ben and her when she realizes what she’s done)

I wonder if instead of a party, it was a nice dinner for the two of them because he noticed she was sad….

Fuckkkk Ben didn’t come home?????? This is so devastating dream fuck no. I’m not even done reading and I’m already screaming for the next chapter

Shit she’s tearing him apart. Holy fuck clover I get that you’re stressed but for the love of god shut the fuck up.

Look I love to commend you for your ability to write drama and emotional scenes without making it a soap opera which is still definitely the case, but this is so much worse than a soap opera. This feels like being personally stabbed in the gut over and over and over again.

This is painful and raw and personal and emotional and tragic. My heart is absolutely aching for them right now. And the absolute whiplash that Ben went through………. He’s going to be a wreck

I actually think that contrary to what clover thinks that he will actually stop creating art because he’ll be too upset, which I think would be a really interesting twist. Instead of the pain she causes being the reason for her art, she’ll have to realize that it’s because of the joy she brings to his life.

And it’s true that by any measure he’s had an easier life than her, but to say that his pain and suffering isn’t just as valid is so cruel and invalidating; suffering is not a competition.

Also Ben has been through a lot. Besides the obvious part of his dad dying, he’s constantly being told how he’s the spare, how he’s second string and not as important.

He’s being told that how he loves his life doesn’t really matter compared to Anthony. He’s like the personification of the ‘nothing matters (/pos) vs nothing matters (/neg)’. I’m sure he’s struggled with the latter at some points as well. Even when he’s come to terms with it, there are still moments like when Anthony went to the duel where he has a crisis of faith.

Ugh idk why you said we might be mad at Ben…. Maybe in future chapters but def not this one. I can exactly blame clover but I’m kind of going to blame clover….

CMA hi darliiiing! ❤️

Lolll oh I knew you would be yelling at me for sure 😂

Josie and Clover will always be there for each other❤️ So will their aunt and uncle ❤️

Oh I don't think Josie thinks that or will tell Benedict that, no worries🥰 She thinks Clover married for love, but still thinks it's also an advantage that she married especially now that her parents can't drag her back to their home 😏

Squeezing wrist thing yeeees! ❤️ It's their way of holding hands and it'll be adorable 🥰

I think she planted all the seeds in the vase actually 😏 Buuut will the gardener throw the vase away? 😏 Or will he keep it?😁

Nopeeee, he was too busy partying so he didn't come home 😈

Clover did NOT hold back 💔

Omg darliiiing this is so sweet of you! ❤️ I really enjoy angst and it's wonderful to hear that I could reflect those emotions ❤️😍

That would definitely be an interesting twist and it would shock Clover! 😱

And it’s true that by any measure he’s had an easier life than her, but to say that his pain and suffering isn’t just as valid is so cruel and invalidating; suffering is not a competition. This is so true!

But Clover thinks it is 😏 That's what she told Benedict about her and Josie's childhood, how Josie had it worse than her 💔 So I think she made herself believe it, and now that she snapped, she ended up saying all that to Benedict 💔

And that's another thing Clover needs to realize, that Benedict's life wasn't "perfect" even if it looked like it was ❤️

They will both be so so heartbroken in the next chapter 😏😈

Thank you so so much for this! ❤️❤️❤️

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trashlie · 2 years ago

Text

ILY FP 209

vHowdy ho guys! Yet another post where I’ve basically taken my initial write up on reddit and edited it for additional thoughts/insight/changes in my thinking! Sorry to keep doing this but I feel like it’s the easiest way to do this, rather than just trying to write something new using all the points I’ve made before lol. That said, I still want to write up a post about how I’m viewing Alyssa and her sexuality (and how it relates to her need to fit in!) but I’m still struggling to figure out how to manage my time properly lately. ;A;

Anyway, this was SUCH an episode! Like, literally gave it 5 stars for everything that it contains, and if you guys have read my ILY Brainrot long enough, you know this was total catnip for me. Nol airing grievances, Kousuke’s insecurities being addressed, some interesting callbacks/parallels to an earlier scene that has constantly vexed me, and a whole lot of drama. This episode was worthy of a bag of popcorn, frankly! Let’s dive in!

Kousuke actually saying, out loud, that Nol would be doing everyone a favor if he was gone is SO cold. Not that he's ever really kept it a secret, but I don't think Kousuke has intentionally said that out loud in front of Nol (at least, not knowingly, unlike that time Nol called him). I had said that I had a feeling Nol would be able to muster up the ability to say nice things about Kousuke in a genuine way, but actually seeing how many things he could say he admires about him, while Kousuke couldn't even pull up one, only a condescending backwards compliment... I feel like these last two episodes really epitomize their relationships and who THEY are. Kousuke has always been driven by his growing paranoia AND his fear of disappointing Rand, and they're both full on display. The way he loathes Nol is completely different from the way Nol dislikes (or hates?) Kousuke.

For Nol, it’s a matter of how Kousuke has reduced him to nothing over the years, how he pointedly denied Nol any right to happiness (and this is something I’d like to go a little deeper into, if possible, sometime!), how he belittled him for so many years. Nol’s dislike/hatred stems from years of being attacked. But Kousuke hates Nol just for existing. Nothing Nol could do or not do would ever change Kousuke’s mind. It’s so raw and vitriolic.

There's so much honesty coming out in this episode and I don't know how to describe how it makes me feel - sad feels like such a paltry understatement? It really re-centers what we knew from those little snippets of their pasts: once upon a time Nol tried SO HARD to be a brother to Kousuke, to curry his favor, until one day he realized it was an impossible task. Once he was made to feel like nothing he tried to BECOME nothing, and even that was still too much for Kousuke. He tried to do what Kousuke wanted but his chance to disappear was taken away by him, too, in a fit of paranoia. Nol spoke nothing but the truth and Kousuke continues to warp and distort reality EVEN AS IT PLAYS OUT. The insistence that he'll be in trouble despite the conversation with Rand, because Kousuke is incapable of believing that. But what Nol said is probably true - Kousuke likely has never truly been in trouble, but to Kousuke, disappointing Rand is the same thing (and I imagine Yui is not without some kind of manipulative quip that makes Kousuke feel like he did not exceed expectations). And all this time, Rand has been ENCOURAGING Kousuke to do exactly what Nol's telling him. Perhaps he wouldn't describe it in the same words, but Rand knows that Kousuke has been at his beck and call his entire life and he doesn't want that for him.

It's funny that Kousuke is always calling Nol selfish. As readers we know that Nol puts nearly everyone ahead of him. In order to be selfish, you have to care enough to put yourself ahead of others, to take things for yourself without consideration of others. But Nol has spent his whole life considerate of Kousuke. On the other hand, Kousuke has spent his entire life trying to impress or please his father, without once following his own whims. To him, Nol looks selfish because Kousuke truly believes his life to be indolent, because he doesn't operate in an effort to please Rand. Kousuke feels the weight of a burden that Nol doesn't share - except the only person shackling him with that burden is himself (and arguably Yui, but that's a whole other thing). We haven't ever seen Kousuke chase after something HE truly wants - something out of pleasure or joy. I assume university was the last time he ever did anything truly for himself, and we saw that he was called home and left it all behind to come to this life and never looked back. What Nol said about playing the piano - when did Kousuke stop? Has he ever played it recently? Is it something that he told himself was a childish hobby and now, as a grown man, he mustn't entertain these childish whims anymore or something?

Idk how to word it well but this chapter just feels SO raw. Nol put SO MUCH of himself out there. They're an interesting opposite of each other in this way - though Nol has kept everything to himself and swallowed everything down whole, he's the one more willing to air his grievances with Kousuke and be honest but Kousuke can't even be honest to himself. Every day he is lying to himself. Think about how he had to talk to himself about the CFO position, reminding himself he wants this, he wants that life, even if he has to uproot himself and go to Tokyo. At the end of the day, Kousuke goes through the motions. Does he enjoy his job or is it all just the pursuit of someone else's approval? No wonder he thinks Nol is childish and lazy - Kousuke was made to believe that as adults, we must sacrifice things and that there is no room in an adult life for whimsy or pointless enjoyment. In episode 27 when Nol says he’ll be cold with Shinae, Kousuke closes his eyes and says they’re ridiculous and tells them to stop acting like children. Why are his eyes closed? He’s been conditioned to think that everyone must act a certain way - that he has an image to keep and he doesn’t have the “liberty” to live freely as he thinks Nol does. To him, Nol is the selfish one for living for himself when he’s supposed to be adhering to a particular image, because isn’t that what it means to be mature, to be an adult, to impress others?

This is also the second time someone has predicted Kousuke won't be good at his job. Yujing has noted that she thinks he's not ready, he's moving too fast. Nol isn't wrong that someone without his own convictions won't be fit to run a company. I don't doubt that Kousuke has and will continue to develop other necessary skills, but convictions are important. A CEO can't fold to everyone else's whims, and that's where Kousuke lacks the most. How do you push back against the people you are trying to maintain good relations with?

In the same way that Nol has spent so many years now living as Yeonggi in a prison of his own making, Kousuke has been living like a dog chained up - except the chain is of his own making. Like Nol says - there's a difference between respect and blind obedience. Kousuke is in his mid 20s and he still lives like he's a 14 year old afraid to be grounded. That fear of disappointment is SO. DEEPLY. ROOTED. And I know that's a hard thing to let go of. As a 30-year-old I still avoid certain confrontation with my parents for fear of having to deal with that fall out. But what Kousuke is dealing with is something so much bigger than that. He DOES need help. He needs someone to help him unlearn and let go of those fears. His entire identity is comprised of this, and it’s why he unraveled like that when he found out Rand had heard everything he said. Without these aspects of his identity, who is Kousuke?

But it's also so sad to see Nol lay out his feelings like that, and how Kousuke meets them so coldly. Nol was a threat from the very beginning. He was never given a chance. Even as Nol stood in front of him and sincerely complimented him, talked about things he admires even if he hates that, Kousuke still heard it as condescending, as attacks. That paranoia is beyond unhealthy. Nol's interview with Oxford University? Obviously all about Kousuke, because why else would Nol do anything if not to undermime him, right? And isn’t that interesting, that Nol had the opportunity to get away, that he could have gone far away from this family and been out of Kousuke’s hair, but he didn’t let him. What is it Kousuke wants? To get rid of Nol or not? Is it just that he believes everything Nol does is a slight against him, an attempt to make him look inferior? Or is it more subconscious - that so much of who Kousuke is was a result of ensuring that he always remained three steps ahead of Nol. Kousuke compares himself to Nol more than he’ll ever care to admit, and has used Nol as a benchmark measure for how he’s supposed to act and whether or not he’s the successful golden son. As long as Nol isn’t succeeding at anything, Kousuke remains on the throne. And how can he know how he compares to Nol if Nol isn’t here? If he goes to another country? And not only that, but it was Oxford. Their father’s alma matter. A school Kousuke didn’t think possible for Nol to get into. But JUUUUST in case he could, thanks to his connection to Rand, Kousuke saw to it that he never even had the chance, didn’t get to prove if he was the worthy adversary Kousuke worries he is. If he doesn’t know, then it can’t be true, right?

Like Nol tells him, without his name, without Rand’s validation, without his family, Kousuke is nothing. Strip all of that away and what’s he left with? Who is he under the family name, who is he without Rand’s validation, who is he without his name? Would he amount to the same without it? I think there’s some extra nuance here that can be gleaned through earlier episodes - like Kousuke’s paranoid drunken break down, thinking everyone is calling him out on his flaws and predicting his downfall, because deep down, subconsciously, Kousuke knows what he is (or rather, isn’t) and that without any of that he is nothing. So he strips Nol of anything that can bring him warmth, of anything that can make him happy, of any opportunity to amount to anything, to ensure that at least if Kousuke is nothing, then Nol is negative. To ensure that Nol can’t benefit from the very things Kousuke has. He could have allowed himself a personality, hobbies, an identity, but instead he just decided to tear down someone else in effort to life up himself.

But something that’s interesting about Kousuke comparing himself to Nol is: this isn’t the first time Nol has managed to goad Kousuke into doing something just to prove himself. When Nol turns to leave, after Kousuke drops to his knees in front of him, he goads Kousuke a little more and Kousuke finally takes the bait. Though far more dramatic, this is much like an earlier scene back in episode 27. Kousuke makes a fuss about having to eat a hamburger with his hands and Nol makes a comment to just leave Kousuke be and let him eat it the way he wants. “He’s always been prim and proper, he won’t do it.” And then Kousuke does it. He cannot stand to let Nol have any upperhand. If Nol says he can’t do it, then Kousuke will prove him wrong. Afterwards, Nol smiles and I used to think (or hope?) it meant that Nol thought he was getting through to Kousuke, that maybe with enough prodding he could be a tolerable person, but now I think it was more that Nol just realized what kind of advantage he possessed, and how he could use that against Kousuke. I don’t think it was ever about any warmth towards Kousuke as much as a realization that there were some ways Nol had an upperhand when it came to Kousuke.

And here he uses that advantage, goads Kousuke in to proving him wrong. It’s funny, because Kousuke has lately been talking about Nol like he’s a vicious animal, like he’s someone violent and unstable and ready to attack at any moment. But in the end, Kousuke succumbs to that violence. In the end, he can’t resist his own sucker punch (waiting for Nol to turn his back). He was unable to let Nol leave that room with the satisfaction that he was right. Kousuke ends up doing something he condemns in order to prove Nol wrong, because it turns out that proving him wrong is more important than upholding his image.

“I would never stoop to your level” Kousuke says, before he does exactly that. Allows himself to feel something, to relish in his vitriolic hate, and embraces that moment of violence.

I’ve said it before that in the same way Yeonggi was a mask, Kousuke also wears a mask, except his has become so interwoven, he doesn’t know where his mask ends and he begins. He puts on his little show, acts the way he’s supposed to, maintains the intellectual and mature hobbies he’s supposed to, puts on airs, makes himself look impressive. All these things that are just a superficial face. Nol said that Kousuke’s home is pristine, everything is minimalist, no clutter, designed with purpose. Who is Kousuke? WHAT is he? He finally succumbs to his baser instinct out of bitterness and loathing, intent on yet again proving Nol wrong, and all that hatred and loathing comes out through his fist. For a moment, Kousuke lets the mask slip and lets his real self come out and do what he’s probably always wanted to do.

Actually, on this tangent, there’s a lot of power dynamics at play here. Kousuke is the eldest and the heir, sufficiently the one who holds most power. Throughout their lives, he’s exerted his power on making Nol feel small, like nothing, ensuring that he stands on his chest and keeps him down. But isn’t it funny, how Nol ends up the taller one, the one who looks most like Rand and possesses some of his expressions and mannerisms? Kousuke has spent his entire life striving to become Rand and here Nol, a nobody, a nothing, an insignificant bastard is the spitting image of him but for his hair. And though Kousuke has made Nol feel like nothing, made him feel so small, now Nol looks down upon him in disdain. He’s no longer making himself smaller for Kousuke’s convenience, no longer minimizing himself, and by letting himself take up that space, he looks down upon the man who looked down on him. The balance has shifted. Kousuke’s upperhand no longer exists. He was keeping Yeonggi in place, he was keeping that kid in place - but Nol isn’t that kid anymore. There’s so many panels that emphasize the way Nol is looking down on Kousuke - both physically and metaphorically as he calls out Kousuke on his fears, as he turns the zero around on Kousuke.

The way Kousuke wars with what he wants is interesting. There’s that moment where he slips, where he flies over to Nol and grabs him by the collar, but as Nol jeers down at him, Kousuke can’t do it and he slumps to the ground. He literally kneels on the floor beneath Nol, as Nol looks down upon him. All these years Nol has been the pest, the cockroach that won’t leave, a crumbling mess under Kousuke’s shoe - and here the roles have reversed. Nol looks down at Kousuke.

Idk it’s just such a fascinating, interesting episode to me, and it really reinforces the identities of Nol and Kousuke - who and what they are. Though he’s hidden so much, Nol has still lived more honestly than Kousuke, and Kousuke has kept himself chained up, unable to live that way, and his envy towards Nol’s seemingly indolent life turns into hate. He feels so threatened by Nol’s existence that he’s believed everything Nol ever did was about him. I’m willing to bet he even thought Nol was hanging out with Shine as a dig against him. And here, again, I’d love to revisit the ways that Kousuke has pointedly denied Nol any kind of happiness (such as the way he demanded that Nol cease his friendship with Shinae). Everything Nol has ever done, Kousuke has twisted to make about him, because his life is so wrapped up in Nol, in his comparison to him, in his effort to always best him a nd beat him into the ground that he believes Nol’s life must be so about him. It’s impossible that Nol could ever want to do anything for himself or for others, could have any other personality that wasn’t about cutting him down if Kousuke can’t, right? Isn’t that wild, isn’t that sad? Kousuke’s whole life is made up of other people. His personality is fragments of others’ desires pieced together. He can’t fathom that Nol does things of his own volition because Kousuke himself does nothing of his own volition.

I feel like there's nothing else I can say without repeating myself. It's just. It's all sad. Nol never stood a chance. Whether or not he tried, whether or not he made himself scarce, none of it matters because Kousuke will always find a way to make it about himself. No wonder Nol feels like nothing, why he feels like he's always being punished. No amount of effort could ever make his family love him* so what was the point of anything?

(* I can tell Rand loves him but he has never really shown it so I'm not going to pretend that Nol knows he does. As far as Nol knows, he's a mistake that shouldn't have happened and he's made life worse.)

I've talked a lot about my feelings that the big time jump will see the main characters going their separate was and coming back into each others' lives as adults, and I wonder if this would lead to that or not. Nol gave him his word and Kousuke gave him the reaction he was trying so hard to get. So will he go ahead and disappear like he said? I hope not, but also, can you blame him for wanting so badly to just get away from it all? God it all just makes me feel so SAD.

EDIT: follow up because everyone has pointed out the railing breaking and !!!!! aaaaaaahhhh!!!!! There's so many falls, Nol has had so many falls, and one CAUSED by Kousuke is big! Who was it who has the theory that the altercation between Nol and Kousuke involved some kind of fall for Kousuke? And now this time, it's Kousuke the one to cause something? My how the turntables! But also.... if you get injured prior to getting locked away, what do they do with you?! We don't need any more head injuries.... (I’ve been informed he would go to a hospital and then just be transported to prison once he’s released).

And it always brings up: how is Kousuke going to feel? Vindicated? Horrified? Will he just wheel it back and blame Nol because "you pushed me you made me do it"? Will he actually show some sense of care and worry that ISN'T rooted in what father will think or do? Does he care at all about Nol or is it all just pure resentment anymore? It’s true, Nol did goad Kousuke into doing it, but Kousuke succumbing to violence was still his own choice. The only thing that made him do it was his need to prove Nol wrong, to try to maintain his upperhand. With so much vitriol in his heart, would Kousuke even care that he caused harm or just be horrified that he did, horrified of what other people will think? Much to think about!

#I Love Yoo #ILY Spoilers #ILY FP #ILY Brainrot #Nolan Oliver T. Lochlainn #Nol #Kousuke Hirahara #i mean this is largely about them let's admit it lol #I don't think it's worth tagging anyone else because this all about the Kousuke Nol dynamics slash power play #actually all that said i do wonder how this episode will affect the way Shinae views the brothers and how her relationship with them is #she tried so hard to keep them from going at each other but forces of nature cannot be tamed #will she be horrified by both of them? will she feel nol's pain? will she condemn his methods?#will she rethink if Nol (who is not Yeonggi) is a person she wants to stay by #will she see the face value of nol and kousuke's relationship and understand?#it's such a complex situation tbh and i can't blame her if this makes her take a step back but aaahhhhhhhh #so many things to mull about #ILY Commentary

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shallowseeker · 1 year ago

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Jody’s character feels so retconned from when she first appeared. It’s easy to forget she lost a child and a partner - we have the smallest glimpse of that when she says she can’t lose Claire too during the Wayward Sister episode. I’ve actually read a fic where Cas visits her after Jack dies in S15 - this is unexplored topic in its own right. But now you’ve got me thinking about the cross country trip in Patience with Jody and Dean and how she would’ve approached him during those long hours driving to Atlanta.

NGL, I've struggled with Jody, too! A couple of months back I did a Jody deep-dive to try to help myself get into Wayward headspace.

You're right that it's easy to forget how she's suffered because she doesn't wear her suffering very openly. Had we gotten a green light on Wayward Sisters, we'd have seen Jody's desperation to protect the girls and deep-seated anxiety played like a fiddle, I bet.

And yes, 13x03 Patience was so interesting!

The script is loaded with some good stuff re: the Jody-Dean interactions. Dean isn't as forthcoming as you'd think he'd be, but then, the thing with Cas is still so raw. I think Jody navigates it pretty well. She pokes but she doesn't force the issue. For example, she allows a subject change to Claire at once point:

JODY: You--lost your family? MISSOURI: (rueful, cryptic) In a manner of speaking. Hunting...takes its toll. (She looks at Jody.) But I can see that you already know that. On Jody, a bit rattled at being "read" that way-- then--

///

MISSOURI: Oh. Honey. I'm sorry. (off his look, she's sincere) For your losses. On Dean-- a quick flash of discomfort, then a smile.

///

Dean and Jody hug-- she knows what happened to him. JODY: You okay? DEAN: Dandy. Dean pulls away-- deflects. Turns to the scene--

///

JODY: Dandy, huh? On Dean-- knew this was coming. What's there to say? DEAN: Cas is dead. Mom's dead-- JODY: That's not what Sam says. DEAN: Yeah, well, Sam's living in a dream world. Changing the subject-- DEAN: Heard from Claire? JODY: Subject change, huh? Dean gives a terse nod: yep. On Jody, okay then--

///

Quick aside// We also get this nugget about Jody's girlhood! It seems that Jody was also a troubled teen, maybe?

JODY: ...I shoulda known that wouldn't work with a girl like Claire-- Hell, I was a girl like Claire. And now...she's gone.

///

This is the one I was looking for, though! This bit of script is lovely! -> -> -> ->

Early morning. Dean and Jody lean against the impala. JODY: Way you handled that wraith-- you still got it. On Dean, quiet-- not as satisfied as he thought he'd be. A beat, then-- DEAN: Guess so. JODY: No cure for grief though, huh? (off his look) I know this is hard, but you're gonna...you can get through this, Dean. I know you can. On Dean-- grateful, but unconsoled. But before he can answer, Patience steps outside-- approaches them.

Then, we get this;

On Jody, doubtful. But Dean speaks first-- DEAN: He is. (then) This life? Hunting, monsters-- there's no joy in it. Just pain, horror, and death. On Jody, surprised by his advice.

///

Yeah, Dean would probably be intractable for a while with his grief, even with Jody. But their interactions are definitely more careful and honest. I like them.

///

In earlier seasons, it strikes me that Jody was trying her best to carry on working and even tried to date, but she was just...grieving. She had to be grieving that whole time, didn't she?

That's what her church thing was all about. I noticed that Jody longs to have familial support but lacks it. Jody notes that Sam still has a living family member to rely on, but Jody? Jody only seems to have the church. It's comfort and support in a very traditional, old-school kinda way. The church is a substitute family.

(Text Attributions// Supernatural scripts here via @spnscripthunt. Transcripts are located here via SPNWiki. Visit their Tumblr to donate.)

#asks #jody mills #rambling answers #spn 13x03 #spn patience #patience turner #jody & dean

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gayspock · 2 years ago

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okay girlies trek movie marathon ahead go go go we're starting with the final frontier

so to set the mood its 10am and i have hot cocoa (fancy one i got for chrismas + marshmallows (vegan ones i got for chrismas)

goodness fucking gracious they really put the budget into this one again didnt they. i mean i know they do for the trek movies in general in comparison to the shows but fuck me this feels like a step up even from tvh

okay girlie pops lets do therapy in the desert . practice mindfulness with me really think about the sand on your feet ow hot hot hot

i wish someone would do this to me to be honest i take the piss but cant some beardy vulcan cunt come up to me and chat about starships and the whatnot

ISNT THIS SYBOK BTW. spocks first retroactively added sibling. btw i wont share how much i hate that fucking choice in so many ways and how theyve done it fucking twice n- sorry seeing red breathe deep. hesgot a good presence t-

AHRHGHGH OGUGHHFHFUAHDHHGF FUCK I FORGOT THE TREK THEME DOOO DODODOOO DOOOD OOO MY PUSSSYYYYYYYYYY SOAKEDDDDDDDDD SHES MAKING THE SAME NOISE SH oh christ i took that one too farback up back up

i sometimes think theres no way ppl read these lbs but if theres one person there hi the credits are rolling

guys the hot cocoa is making my tummy hurt btw but that might also be okay so i got this vegan kebab meat and i didnt know you meant to cook it so i ate the whole pack raw and it was already expired but its like vegan so it cant like be like meat levels of insanity right..... right like im not getting worms am i its. uhm. whatever guys hesclimbing

wheres he going .

dude

I SAW CLIPS OF KIRK CLIMBING UP THIS BIG FUCK OFF MOUNTAIN BEFORE AND I KNEW BILLY SHITSTER PUT THIS IN TO WANK HIMSELF OFF BUT I THOUGHT IT WAS GOING TO BE A PLOT RELEVANT SCENE WHAT DO YOU MEAN THE CUNT IS JUST DOING IT FOR THE JOKES

THERES NO WAY THIS IS SO FUNNY . KIRK COME BACK DOWN FROM THERE

hi bones- OH MY GODDDDD HIS CUTE LITTLE JACKET HES SO CUTEEEEEEAND HIS LITTLE SCARFFFFF

PUT THIS CUNT RIGHT ONTO YOUR PINTEREST BOARDS LADY HES-

okay ffucking hell the way william shatner still says "spock" i forgot it was like that

"1200 points of interest in yosemite and you pick me" right i forgot they were like that

his spoots.........

that made me laugh i wont even lie the way the cunt just feel

can we get a close up on the dancer cat woman please just for uhm my own . purposes interests i dont - OH HERE WE GO- THREE TITS?

WHOS THIS GIRLBOSS

CAITLYN KATELYN KAITLYN whichever its spelled- also romulan??? i assume that there's been some cultural mingling but imagine if you met a fucking cunt from mars called Sarah.

anyway shes beautiful as hell . for what reason.

seriously the dusty desert planet in scifi they all look the same its so funny

right the prblem is syboks actor is charming as all hell. fucking divert that smoldering gaze i feel fucking weird as hell

OUGHHH SCOTTYYYYYY HII BABYYYYY CAKESOUGHGHH HI ENTERPRISE OHHHHH HIIII UHURAAAA

oh my god she looks so good she LOOKS SO GOOD ... ahh nichelle 3: ... shes got such a good onscreen presence though man HELL its a shame they didnt utilise her more earlier

okay so they decided to put them together i forgot about that im not mad i gues

sulu and chekov hi guys theyre just vibing in the woods HI GUYS SORRY IM NOT IMMUNE TO NOSTALGI AND SEEING MY FAVOURITE GUYS

GUYSSSSS CAN WE ALL BE NICIESSSSS

"ive always known i'll die alone" ALRIGHT GIRL...

this is actually so cute i wont even lie im not endeared im not (is endeared) theyre on freaking holiday together

MARSHMELLON

SPOCK THEY ARENT VEGETARIAN

except for mineeeee that i have om nom nom

afterthe ritual camp sing along we all have insane freaky gay sex onscreen for the rest of the movie. its normal. it would also be less gay than them singng row row your boat like this

im absolutely ctazy for the sfx in this movie like it feels like half of them are pretty solid but theres just random bits that look so janky this is exactly how i want my star trek i wont even lie to you

also i cant tell if this klingon part is meant to have subtitles or not

ok i found the script online + im following along iwth that LOL ... i guess it makes SENSE why the actual subtitles arent like on the video itself but its still funny

sorry to be crass but i know someone somewhere has edited this to say spock (goes off to do that)

the way it takes me 10 million years to watch a movie you have to understand theres sidequests in every movie for me to do

GOD....

THE UNIFORM JACKET WITH THE JEANS THIS IS EVERYTHING TO ME. ABSOLUTE SLAG MOVES. COME ON SERVE ME CAKE CASUAL STYLE

i love it when the enterprise is busted to be honest its so good i hate functional ships i love it when theyre breaking- fuck me i wanna relisten to wolf 359

i already know the plot twist of that being his brother but its very fucking funny nonetheless that spock just sees his broth-

UI WASL

I WASLITERALLY JUSY ABOUT TO SAY THAT ITS VERY FUNNY WHEN SPOCK SEES HIS BROTHER AND IS DEAD SILENT LIKE "THATS SO ME AND MY BROTHER WE DONT NEED TO TALK LIKE THAT"

AND THEN MY BROTHER DEAD SILENT PUSHES A BIRTHDAY CARD UNDER MY DOOR. THROIWING UP. COSMIC TIMING THANKS BUD

by the way ive actually heard a lot of bad things about this movie and im absolutely agreed that this is corny as fuck but frankly when it comes to tos movies... im actually on board if its corny, even if the story might suck in the end. i mean granted- im hardly into the meat-meat of the movie yet. i dont doubt people slate it for NOTHING, and i presume i'll understand the problems better the more i watch (after all i am already kind of irritated with syboks existence even if i do quite like the actors vibe) but its like... hm how do i put this...

im not actually ever against, like, "nostalgia bait" stuff , i guess, and having fun with things if its kinda a) self aware enough and b) well earned. does that make sense? if it isnt taking itself too seriously and bigging itself up in a dramatic way, AND there's a solid foundation to actually have fun with then im okay with a movie that kind of only spins on the funnier, more casual moments and is somewhat self-indulgent in terms of how it panders to fans with, like, showing them all having fun camping .

the issue for me is when its either, as i said, unearned or trying to take itself too seriously... or maybe, like, when it does veer too close to flanderisation or even just spinning the wheels on the characters. its why i think a lot of chibnall doctor who doesnt realyl work when its trying tobe "fun" or "goof off with the fam" like... you guys never really did the legwork to establish these characters well enough to have that, you know?

and im not saying tos has marvellous character work- we can be honest, and say that outside of the triumvirate theyre all over the place- but i do think theyre solid enough to crry and im well okay with that yeah?

and anyway thats all to say. ive known too many pretentious types disavow all sorts of media that does kind of act a bit self-indulgent or does something fun/stupid and i dont know man i do agree in many ways but also, like, entertainment is sometimes meant to be entertaining and its hardly the worst ever if a star trek movie just fucks about a bit instead of doing some epic space opera every single time, nor does it ruin the entire franchise or work that came before it. its why i really fucking rate the voyage home- because it lets itself take the time, take the breather after the other three movies. like i understand if it does purposefully undermine something else but like... i dont know i feel like some people ironically have such a shallow mindset sometimes where theyre likt, fucking hell, its the death of all media because they were silly 1 time and did something a bit funny/had fun (esp if it isnt just to their tasts)

(adnd yeah its also like... i dont know you know osme ppl who seem to have 0 media awareness in terms of like.. yeah man you can wax pretentious gobshite all you want but also its star trek man and thats not to belittle the franchise in any way but also manage expectations of what youre going to be consuming AND also realise that its not BAD that not everything is, like, you know some high calibre art and that actually that diversity in art is kinda better for your media diet tbh like they all serve a diff purpose like- you know so unrelated its also like im sorry it reminds me of all the discourse around knives out and the such and people not taking that movie into context and whatever the fuck or ALSO how im watching bsg lright now and i know im tempering my expectations interms of what that will deliver, what it will do and even further than that the actual politics)

( BC THAT ALSOOO is a whole other thing im so off topic here where its like im obbiously not talking about genuinely harmful media here but ive seen some ppl online kind of assume that media has to cater to their exact political alignment or else it isnt good and its like i absolutely agree you can analyse/dissect that and with bsg i do sort of like look at it and think well are we being serious with what we're doing here but also like eh shrug its kinda weird when you go in with the intention that apiece of art has to come to your exact own personal conclusions about the world by the end of it do you know what i mean . like i dont even mean tht in terms of like.. trying to defend things, but i mean that in terms of your own personal growth and open mindedness and appreciation for others' worldvew... anyways im so off topic im so so off topic this is literally the final fontirer 1989 here)

anyway im like

IM THE WORST IM RAMBLING LIKE THIS WHEN IVE BATRELY WATCHED THE MOVIE BC LOL #ANNOYING WHEN THIS ISNT EVEN RELATEDDDDDD

my point is i feel like what ive seen so faris kinda fun and the dialogue though corny and whatnot has made me smile enough that i feel like if this is gonna be sustained throughout im not gonna be mad if the overall plot does suck which idk is contrary to what i thought before i started bc ive heard such bad things about this one

which hey i guess theres other stuff behind that too because going back to that self-indulgent part.... it is obvious billy shits is, as i said, having a long self pleasure session . i also know theres other problems there tbh too-yeah...

ANYWAYS

can someone edit in them kicking their legs and giggling 👆

OK I SAID ALL I SAID ABOVE BUT THE UHURA SCENE WAS THAT ONE NECESSAY GUYSSSSSSS

also my god i eed to stop pausing ive been watching for almost 2 hours and im 40 minutes in thats so fucking funny

sybok: "ok but dude i didnt want anyone to dieeeee i was joking"DUDE PLEASE

the catgirl is feral i repeat the catgirl is feral

oh so it turns out the hostages are rather cheeky

WHY DID THEY HAVE TO CHANGE THEM OUT OF THEIR GOOD OUTFITS UGHHH BOOOOOO LOSERS BOOOO at least sybok is slaying does he have long hair? i do like that; i do appreciate that

"which will take...?" "exactly 15.5 seconds" "AN ETERNITY, DURING WHICH-"

I GET WHAT THEY MEAN BUT LOL

can i also say i think i said this when watching bsg but i love how many scifi ships have a lets fuck off really fast mode. its so fuckinh funny.

YHE GIRLS ARE FIGHTTIGNNGGGGGGGGGGGGG

"PICK IT UP" I LIKE HOW HE HAD TO BE TOLD.

AND SYBOK IS LIKE BE SERIOUS I KNOW YOU ARENT GOING TO D- SHOOT HIM? KIRK. BE SERIOUS . HE WONT DO THAT

KIRK YOU BEST NOT BE GOING INTO A STROP LEAVE SPOCK ALONE WILL E VERYONE LEAVE SPOCK THE FUCK ALONE

can i also say . sarek is a right fucking whore. how many wives did he have . like after amanda how many human women did he go through exactly

okay so round about this point i got distracted for another half fucking hour guys its so ufnny how long it takes me to watxh movies

THE WAY THEY JUST KNOCKED SCOTTY OUT. COME ON GUYS HELP

jim being tired climbing up when he literally beasted that mountain come on behave

THE SPOOTS ARE MAKING ME GIGGLE SO BADLY sorry.

the way they all got on together.... please... i will say BOTH times ive expected spock to straight up bridal carry kirk somehow

also i will say god . throwback to pk wars; im still laughing at how farscape presented the eidelons as, like, the answer to peace when its literally brainwashing just like this and its totally unacknowledged. anyways

WHY ARE WE GIVING BONES DADDY ISSUES

THIS IS SO FUNNY ACTUALLY

IM UNDERSTANDING MORE WHY THIS MOVIE IS DRAGGED BUT I CANT EVEN HATE IT ITS FUNNY TO ME BONES WE'RE GIVING YOU THERAPY TONIGHT

its so funny with bones they just give some random horrors to him whenever the fuck you know and then its never brought up again god love god bless

sarek can be so....

sarek can be so funny im sorry i know this isnt the time im watching him reject infant spock but do you remember in tng when he and picard were... well... they were well acquainted pen pals werent they if you understand me . its like hes a whore . hes a terrible father. hes like the worst. but hes kinda funny sometimes.

OKAY SPOCK SLAYED THAT GET HIS ASS

BONES LOYAL TO THE BESTIES

igotdistractedgaian guys btw this is so bd its like 1pm i started this at 10am but do you know what i need some new shoesso i needed to go find some and research do you know what i mean

i focus now i focus

THE GANG MEETS GOD. WHY NOT.

i always find it outrageously funny whenever they meet god or go to eden in sci fi . beyond hysterical. why not guys hes just been chilling somewhere why not babes .

KIRK BEING LIKE EXCUSE ME ☝️🤨...?

SORRY THATS SO FUNNY . HEY GOD. EXCUSIES. SCUSIES. [GETS HIS TITS BLASTED OFF]

thats funny as fuck

AGAIN IM SEEING MORE AND MORE WHY THIS IS CLOWNED ON THIS IS RANDOM AS ALL HELL BUT ITS FUNNY AND SO INCOHERENT AND THE PACING IS ALL OVER . GOD BLESS THIS MESS

"but captain we're firing directly on your position" can you have a little fucking fun for once chekov light it up bitch

HE SAID OOIEEE YEOWCH

woah he said damn... he said damnnnn

are you about to say sorryyyyyyyyyy

THATS SO FUNNY

THE KLINGON GUY JSUST SAID SOWWWWYYYY I WONT DO IT AGAIN BWAA..... THATSSO FUCKING FUNNY

GOD

YOU WERE NEVER ALONE... DUMBASSS.

PLEASE CAPTAIN. NOT IN FRONT OF THE KLINGONS FUCKING HELL. GAY ASS

"i lost a brother once. i was lucky i got him bakc" you guys remember when kirk actually lost his brother like hsi real life brother who died

OUGHGHH OH MY GOD THEIR OUTFITS BY THE CAMPFIRE YESSSSSSSSS

CANT WE GET JUST A MOVIE OF THEM CAMPING SORRY THIS WAS THE HIGHLIGHT OF THE MOVIE LIKE THE REST OF IT WAS DEAD BUT I RATE IT FOR ROW ROW YOUR BOAT

HELP...

OKAY THATS OVER

SALUTATIONS I NEED TO TAKE ABREATHER BUT THEN WE'RE ONTO UNCANNY COUNTY

#Egg.txt #undescribed image #star trek liveblog #this is so funny bc last year i didnt get to continue the marathon + my autistic ass said #''you can only continue it on THIS day'' so i seriously have been waiting like #2 years to finish the trek movies isnt that funny as fuck

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