#i kinda went oFF with this list !
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I realized I hadn't written anything about Shadowheart's physical scars in the Asheeraverse. Let's weave them into Shadowheart's more internal scars, why don't we? How about quite soon after the Gauntlet, too. Girl's straight up not having a good time.
What if I said if the angst had some emotional hurt/comfort to go along with it? We love exploring characters' emotional vulnerability in this household.
No Archive Warnings Apply.
Rating: M for themes and a fade to black
Category: F/F
Ship: Shadowheart/Trans Fem Tav
Tags and AO3 Summary beneath the break!
Tags: Romance, Angst, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Religious Guilt, Loneliness, Non-Sexual Intimacy, Bathing/Washing, Scars, Trans Female Character, Trans Tav (Baldur's Gate), Half-Orc Tav
Summary:
One night, with Baldur's Gate waiting for them just on the horizon, Shadowheart sits by herself and fears about what may come when she confronts the Sharrans that once called her sister as well as her former Mother Superior. She thinks herself alone, lost. With Asheera at her side, she cannot be truly alone. Together, they explore Shadowheart's scars.
#bg3#bg3 fanfiction#shadowheart#shadowheart x tav#shadowtav#bg3 tav#oc: asheera#my fic#kinda didn't mean to write this at all but then I was looking at a prompt list for something else#and saw something about “scars” on it and my mind went into overdrive#this is why prompt lists are great btw! sometimes you don't want to write what's given but you trail off in other directions#anyways I love emotional hurt/comfort for these two so sue me
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Howdy, Pine! Can we get three headcanons for all your favorite Scott Pilgrim characters? :-)
Oh absolutely!!!! Lemme think for a minute...
((FUTURE FUTURE ME: I LITERALLY JUST PROCESSED YOU SAID THREE HEADCANONS IM SO SORRY--- YOU WILL UNDERSTAND 😭))
Okay I had a whole thing here, but we're gonna try this again but slightly more Hinged-- forcing myself to format so things don't get out of hand again. I will HAPPILY elaborate, though!!
((Whoop this is future me. This post is going to be so long if I dont do this, so I'm going to put this all under the cut! I'll try to remember to come back up here with the characters I talk about- alternative, should I not do that, maybe check the tags! I'll try to only tag the people I'm directly talking about))
KIM PINE
sexuality: very likely canonically Bi, I am a very big fan of her being a comp. het. lesbian, though (I get this both from my read of the comics/her character and just me Injecting myself into my favorite characters ✌️)
pronouns: she/her usually, but I think she'd be very open and vibe with they/them (me injecting myself again, but also she's just chill like that. I think she prefers if strangers use they/them for her, and her friends or partners use she/her. I'm undecided if she prefers her partners call her their girlfriend or their partner, though.)
Characters I think she has feelings for: RAMONA FLOWERS, Lisa Miller, (MAYBE Scott Pilgrim, still)
Elaboration on that:
I honestly think I can just. Point at some comic panels for Ramona. And the goat thing again. They make me Unhinged that's how canon that is.
Lisa!!! My beloved!!! I think she had a tiny crush on her in high school and had no idea that it was a crush until way later in life- maybe shortly after seeing her again, actually. But like. She's so obviously smiley and happy when she's around, I really can't help but read it that way! She, at the very least, gets an extreme mood boost in her presence, so she really likes having her around.
Scott Pilgrim.... *scrubbing at my face* okay. Okay. So, I have a couple different reads on her feelings for Scott, they're kind of complicated for me to dismantle. Especially since I haven't started my reread of book 6 (I've been giving my thumbs a break, which I am currently prolonging but I have been DYING for someone to ask me to talk about this series.) I'm going to go with my more canon read and leave it at that I think, because it's already becoming this text wall.
Scott was really important to her, I think. She's this aloof, sullen, bitchy girl and she knows it- and then this dorky idiot walks into her life and they really hit it off! They date, they have really sweet, private moments together- it's everything to her. It's someone loving her in spite of the hard shell she initially puts out, and managing to reach her soft, easily bruised heart in ways no one had before. But then he left so abruptly, and that heart was crushed under the weight of her own ribcage. I think she carried that hurt with her every day from that point- I don't imagine her having a particularly roaring love life after that. I think she kept that hurt bottled, and it made any relationships she DID attempt fall apart. It's a wound she's been nursing for way, way too long, and I think she knows that- that's why she wants so badly to forget about it. But then she goes to Toronto and runs into Scott again at the lowest point in his life, and she can't get herself to step away, because this is the only person who ever claimed to love her in a way she felt. I think her decision to stay was sort of... detrimental to her moving on. If she'd detatched herself and stepped back, maybe she could have moved on eventually- she could have worked on herself, or maybe lucked out and found someone who could get through those walls without a sledgehammer, and she would have been better for it. But that's not what happens. She stayed, and I think the longer she stayed the harder it became to keep herself completely shielding from him, because he's still that same goofy guy at his core- he's just a bit worse than she remembered him being. But damn near everything he does throughout the comics just continues to crush her until she HAS to leave- he can apologize, and she can accept it for the version of him she loved, but he's not enough to convince her to stay anymore. I'm going to cut my canon analysis there until I reread their next scene, rather than just continuing incase my thoughts have slightly changed, but like... man... they hurt me in a very unique way. If it was anyone other than Scott, it'd be tragic. (Maybe it still is, maybe that's the Kim Bitterness talking)
For a brief touch on my less canon take, with Kim being a lesbian: I think Scott would have been better placed in her life as a best friend than a partner, but when you're young, and honestly even when you're not all that young, emotional distinction like that can be so, so confusing. So all of the hurt remains very genuine, because she does love him, just not the way she thought she did.
((Because I do love the trans!fem Scott HC as well, I will say. I feel like it would be really, really funny for Kim to realize she's into women and be like "wow sure dodged round two of the Scott Pilgrim bullet" and then one day Scott shows up having started her transition and is like "Oh hey Kimmy!! I'm a lesbian AND a girl, like you now!!!" And Kim just. Crushes her drink or something in her hand like "oh no... oh no she's attractive again... FUCK FUCK FUCK." Obviously a lot more nuanced than that, though. I should probably clarify that I started answering this ask almost IMMEDIATELY after waking up and also BEFORE I've taken more pain meds. If this post has been or starts to become very scattered again, that's why lol.))
Bonus consideration: Hollie. I can dig her having a crush on Hollie, but I feel like it faded a little living with her, and then shattered entirely after the Jason Kim situation. Even an overwhelming attraction to women ain't savin that one, chief. That's just too severe a betrayal.
The Knives Situation: Oh Boy. So in the original answer for this I had a whole thing done up, lemme try to condense it. Basically, I think Kim woke up the next morning HORRIFIED by what she'd done. Like, dry heaving in the bathroom horrified. And this likely really hurt Knives's feelings, should she see! Which Kim would feel horrible about. I'm undecided on if she just runs from the situation before Knives can wake up, or if they have a sort of agrument/one-sided rant on Kim's part afterward where she just really tries to hammer home for Knives how not okay it was for them to do that- for HER to do that, given their ages and inherent power imbalance. In the event that this discussion happens, Knives absorbed none of it, and probably leaves that conversation a little wounded. I think it would proceed to play back in her mind when she and Stephen are talking at one of Julie's parties later on, though, and she'd probably approach Kim after that to thank her for being a reasonable adult about that, unlike how some of her friends had been. Once that understanding is reached, I think they could be good friends, although Kim probably teases her for how she started to dress like her after they first met.
Silly little things: If anyone's familiar with Night in the Woods, do you know the part where Mae's like "that's not drums... that's a computer..."? I feel like that has Kim energy. To me.
Also I think Kim sucks at Rockband- I know that releases like, way afterward or something so far as comic timeline goes, but bare with me, okay? It's my silly little headcanons! Anyway, she'd suck really, really bad on the drums, since so far as I can recall, they don't REALLY correspond with the music. If her friends force her to play, she demands either the mic or the bass, because "fuck you Scott, you try playing their stupid fucking drums." He proceeds to play flawlessly, much to her chagrin. She fairs better on the bass, but only a bit better than the drums, since her fingers aren't quite used to the movements.
Kim didn't think she liked cats for a while, mostly because she was only ever around them fleetingly, and generally in the homes of people who should have been cleaning their litter boxes more regularly. After hanging around Ramona's house more, though, she discovers she really love them! She feels a sort of kinship watching how they actually behave, and I think Gideon ends up warming to Kim very quickly, which probably helps with the very quick turnaround on her opinion. I think it'd be funny if sometimes, when Kim's over, Scott will try to beckon Gideon over to him for cuddles or affection, and the cat will just. Stare at him entirely unimpressed before jumping up into Kim's lap with exaggerated purring and chin rubbing before curling up for a "nap." Kim was in awe the first time this happened, and Ramona finds it ceaselessly amusing every time it happens. ((Funny additonal scenario: once after this happened Scott was whining to Ramona, who was coming to join them on the couch, looking generally very sad/cute/pathetic, and overcome with a sort of playful evil, Ramona proceeded to sit by and cuddle up to Kim as well. Kim immediately froze up and went bright red and wide eyed, Scott's jaw probably dropped before he dove into a theatrical, exaggerated spewl about the betrayal of it all, and Ramona just got to blissfully enjoy Kim cuddles while giggling at both of their reactions and petting Gideon.))
Conversely, I don't know how Kim feels about dogs. Like, I don't think she hates them or anything like that, but maybe they fill her with a sense of pity, for their associations with unwavering loyalty. Something about that specifically runs too close to things she considers about herself, at times, maybe. Idk, just kinda spit ballin here.
I think she does like rats! And mice. Idk. They're cute little guys and I like them, let me have this--
Oh man... just Kim's section is so long. And I have other characters to get to,,, buckle up I guess--- I mean, I did start with My Girl, so maybe the others will be shorter?
((This is future future me again... this is where I actually went back and processed the ask properly :') I have no words to describe my current emotional state beyond that I am trying really hard not to burst into a little fit of laughter at myself and wake my roommate--))
Three! Three headcanons!! I can do this (restraintrestraintrestraint)
Okay! Let's try being Normal About Media- and just as a note, they aren't really in any particular order, beyond Kim being the first because she IS legitimately my favorite, I think. Idk she's very Me.
Ramona Flowers
1. She doesn't really do labels, for things like her idenity; she does think pride flags are pretty, though. Scott got her a bi flag once and she decided to keep it and hang it in her room for this exact reason, though she did explain to him that she doesn't really consider herself anything but herself- Ramona Flowers. He's very understanding about that, although a little confused in the typical Scott manner! They eventually come around to just considering it being his flag, when he comes to terms with himself (yeah, spoilers, I HC him as bi)
2. Her hair actually does have magic properties to it that prevent it from getting absolutely butchered by all the bleaching she does- she doesn't know how or why, though. Maybe it's less magic and more to do with the supplies themselves? Unlike Scott, she's not as meticulous when it comes to reading the status effect labels on things she uses or consumes.
3. Of her former partners, I think she does have genuine lingering feelings for Roxie. So far as the comics/movie go, she simply repressed the hell out of them and plays the Deny Deny Deny! game, but so far as the show goes, I think she's come to terms with the fact that she still loves her, but horrifically fumbled her- she doesn't want to hurt Roxie like that again, so she's unlikely to ever try things again between them, I think. Not unless Roxie was the initiator, and even then, it'd take some coaxing.
Bonus 4. She absolutely has feelings for Kim. I feel like maybe further into their relationship she'd 100% ask Scott like "hey... you know your really hot friend Kim?" and proceed to discuss with him if being in a polyamorous relationship is something he could get behind. Maybe it'd happen after a period of time with Kim living with them too, or something.
Roxie Richter
1. She gets ALL the girls- all of them. She's an unholy TERROR for men where she lives, because she is notorious for giving women the night of their lives and making them never look back so far as dating men goes. Now, I don't think she deliberately breaks up people or goes after "straight" girls or anything, but it's probably something that's happened on accident before, so she's A Menace. I will say that she might deliberately swoop in and woo a girl she knows is taken if it's extremely clear that their relationship is just Not Right- like if she's seeing clear signs of abuse, or something. She isn't intending to get with these girls when she does this, but she is fully intending to get them out of shitty situations. She's even turned girls down after their (ex) boyfriends have stormed off in a huff, simply out of respect for them- she'll try to give them advice, and if they're adamant in trying New Venues, she might play matchmaker where she can, but she isn't really comfortable sleeping with them after doing stuff like that- to her, it feels gross, maybe even exploitative.
2. I actually don't know if this is meant to be canon or not, because it's noted alongside some of her sketches, but she's german/japanese in my eyes- but raised in the states. She knows English the best, and some German, but she doesn't really know much Japanese, much to her own agitation- she just struggles with it a lot, for whatever reason. She can kind of read some things, but if she tries to speak it she runs the risk of butchering the words. I personally further HC her dad as German and her mom as Japanese- dad by process of elimination, mom based loosely on how I read some of her and Ramona's conversations in the comics.
3. She is in fact whistling the tune in the show intending it to be from the Robin Hood movie- in fact, I think I'm going to HC it as one of her favorite animated films from childhood. (... do I HC her as a furry now?)
Lisa Miller
1. Disaster Bi! She's a bit of a Menace and she knows it; she likes to rile people up, but she can't really take what she dishes out. Like, if she'd done the kind of seductive teasing she does to Scott to Kim and received any sort of flirting back, her brain would shut down and she'd need to reboot. She doesn't know how to handle when someone else takes the reigns, which is why it was so easy and fun to play with Scott- he was too stunned/shy to play back, which she enjoys. Not to imply she doesn't enjoy having her brain melted a little, of course.
2. I think she makes it big after she heads to America! Or at least, bigger than she was. She sends her friends back in Toronto signed copies of movie posters and CDs and things when she can- she doesn't expect them to keep them, although she loves it when they do, but at least in Scott's case it's sort of a "incase of emergency, please sell" sort of situation. He does not, obviously. (Ramona probably does, though, both from admittedly petty lingering jealousy and because they just don't have room for all of it; Scott rarely seems to notice anyhow, and the money usually goes towards rent or random gifts for him anyhow)
3. I forget if everyone's sudden absence is noticed when they Poof briefly during the finalt episode of the show, but if it is I feel like Lisa starts to talk to Kyle, since he's in front of her, like "hey, what exactly happened there-" before looking out over everyone else who reappeared in their seats and noticing Scott is actually up there with them. She spends the rest of that night chatting up him and the league, and maybe even scores an in with Matthew for getting a foothold in her acting career!
Matthew Patel
1 . He absolutely has a dedicated cult following for his theatrical works, and it's warranted! He's genuinely good at what he does, and his passion is clear as day; any production is lucky to have him, and he knows it, which can kind of lead to butting heads behind the scenes. I feel like he might come across to his fellow performers as full of himself, especially given his proficiency with one man performances, but he truly is just deeply, deeply passionate about his work, and he wants to feel that passion with anyone he works with, too. He NEEDS his energy matched to feel like it's going to be a grand performance, and he simply doesn't notice how off-putting this can be for his coworkers as a result.
2. The demon hipster chicks have always been the visual age they are now, even when Matthew was a kid; he viewed them as older sisters growing up, and they're very protective of him perhaps as a result. At his current age, they're his best friends and personal body guards- they'll descend like rabid dogs on anyone that steps out of line around him, if he doesn't call them off. Sometimes it's a bit much for him, but they're usually pretty good about understanding when they do and don't need to interfere on his behalf.
3. Ya know I'm not sure if it's a HC I've seen at all but I could really vibe with trans!masc Matthew. I would love that for him, truly.
Scott Pilgrim
1. Look... I really love any trans!Scott headcanons. Like, any direction, I've said before; I genuinely have such a problem figuring out which version I enjoy best: he's trans!masc and has been all along, or trans!fem and Ramona eventually helps to crack that egg. But also, while I'm saying this, he is. So stupid. Not like maliciously stupid in this sense, absolutely not, but I feel like he's the kind of person to like. Run into someone from his past post their transition, with THEM coming up to HIM to be like "oh long time no see, Pilgrim," and then he would say something to the affect of "oh, you have the same last name as (DN)!!! Are you related? Kim, Kim!! Do you know if (DN) had any siblings?" while Kim and the other person just stare at him deadpan for a bit before bursting into laughter at his expense. He would then proceed to be really confused and just not get it, either until they explain it to him or like, he'd just suddenly sit up in a cold sweat later that night realizing what he did like "oh my GOD that WAS them, I said their dead name at them like seven times!! I am Going To Hell!!!" (And Ramona would just kind of blindly, lightly slap around in his general direction, like "honey you're not going to hell for basically affirming the effectiveness of their transition, go the fuck to sleep. They would've said something if it was a problem." Idk, that's just how he feels to me.)
2. When he has his own money for things, and space living with Ramona, he spends it on video games or video game related merch- it's probably a lot of patches and t-shirts, but I can see him starting to collect plushies, too! Like some of the really old kinda silly looking Sonic plushies, for example? If I had my Knuckles one on hand I'd use him as an example, but I think he's in storage somewhere :(
3. Gets into really heated arguments about video game mechanics and stat stuff where applicable; like, Ramona has to drag him away or else he will actively start fighting people kind of heated. He can hold chill conversations, but if he feels like he's being talked down to about a game that he's REALLY into, like Sonic Adventure (he has the director's cut!)
Wallace Wells
1. MENACE TO SOCIETY. He's comparable to Roxie in this way except he is so much worse (I say this affectionately <3) because he does just straight up, in canon, do things like steal Stacey's boyfriends! And that's his friend that he's doing that to! So I cannot IMAGINE what mischief he gets up to when he goes out drinking. He's probably ruined so many lives, naybe even marriages. What am I saying, maybe? Definitely. And he feels no remorse about this! In his eyes either your man was already gay or you needed to treat him better, sweetie; he HAS been rejected before, so clearly his charms can't ruin what ain't already broken.
2. While he does have feeling for Scott, which is basically canon I don't even want to hear it, he KNOWS better. Like, he'd been living with Scott for a while, so he knows if they were legitimately dating he probably would be even more sick of him than he already is. When they were still living together, though, there were times where he couldn't help but wonder if it would really be all that bad... right before Scott comes in and does or says something that just highlights for Wallace that he's making the Sane choice. Besides, Wallace is (and i hate using these terms but I straight up don't know what other words I could possibly use) a sugar baby; he can't keep up being both a sugar baby and Scott's effective sugar daddy (HATEHATEHATE THAT WORD) while ALSO paying rent. It doesn't really work out that well, especially with him having, at the time, such a shitty apartment to begin with.
3. I feel like Wallace really enjoys his nightlife and getting to sleep around, so I'm unsure if this is something still in play while he's with Mobile, or if he respects Mobile enough to do away with that entirely. Like, different situations work for different relationships, so if Mobile is fine with it then maybe it's something that continues! But taking into account the sparks from the show, maybe he'd actually be really fine being exclusive with Mobile. Especially given how well their future selves seem to be doing. Idk! Basically the sum of this one is just that, if Wallace is exclusive with Mobile, he misses be a bit of a whore, but he's very happy where, and with who he is, now.
Envy Adams
1. She gives me vibes.. queer vibes... in some sort of direction.... idk if I'm fully behind her also being a comp. het lesbian or just labeling her a disaster bi, but I also get a vague sense of gender fuckery. It's entirely her name thing, probably, but I can see Envy being genderqueer.
2. She probably hunted Lynette down after that show- an arm was likely Not Enough to quite satisfy that rage. Especially since she didn't get the satisfaction of beating Todd more thoroughly herself, since Scott stepped in. Conversely, for the show canon, Wallace has a target on his back for the rest of her life, as far as she's concerned, even in a world where her feelings for Todd were just misunderstood- she considered him her best friend, and you don't get away with hurting her friends like that unless you're her.
3. I think I'd like to HC that some part of her regrets booting Scott from the band the way she did back in college? Maybe not immediately, or even soon, but I feel like sometimes she would think about him and their relationship as a whole and just feel bad, Idk. Like, she doesn't want to get back with him at all, but I could maybe see her offering to promote Shatterband (or Sex Bob-Omb, in the show,) or even play with him as a genuine apology instead of a coy trap somewhere down the line.
Knives Chau
1. Look... look I know I'm about to sound like a broken record... comp. het. lesbian or bi. HEAR ME OUT: her puppy dog love for Scott is really just that- something cute and innocent, but very intense, especially once he cuts her off in that honestly really brutal manner. Teenage heartbreak is messy- even if you feel like it was real, true love you had, you can often realize later in life that what you felt was just admiration, or something else innocuous like that. I think she reaffirms it to herself as a deep and true love because of how intense the pain of that breakup was, paired with everything that comes after, and I think the show really highlights that for me? Because in the show, with Scott out of the picture entirely, she's just a lot less intense about it. I think after playing music and hanging around his friends, she realizes she didn't really love him all that much, just thought he was a cool older guy and liked that he took an interest in her, even if she recognizes how wrong that was now. ((I probably have more articulate thoughts on this but I am really starting to feel the lack of pain meds so I need to get through this--))
2. Knives is really good at rhythm games and things like DDR or, when it's eventually released, Just Dance. Like, freakishly good. She picks them up just as well and just as quickly as she did her instruments.
3. With how quickly she picked up her instruments, she kinda gives me honor student vibes? Idk. I feel like it'd be a little stressful for her later on, because I do think her passionate drive for music makes her grades take a slight spin, but she just gives off that energy for me. Knives is a lot smarter than people give her credit for, I think, Idk.
... yes, I am very normal about media... spending 3 hours on 1 ask that offered me a lot more simplicity than I can apparently manage...
#asks#txt#kim pine#ramona flowers#roxie richter#lisa miller#Matthew Patel#scott pilgrim#wallace wells#envy adams#knives chau#i think i might have said this in the post but maybe i didnt or removed it- they're not necessarily ordered by like. most to least favorite#i just kinda chucked same names on there and went. debated starting some for lucas but i think my hands need a break- and my stomach a Snac#spto#sp comic#spvtw#headcanons#scott pilgrim takes off#scott pilgrim comic#scott pilgrim vs the world#potential spoilers for both the comics and the show i think?#if anyone wants this tagged w ship stuff for my little blurb under Kim lemme know#also I didn't include Roxie in the list of characters I think she likes but she should have been an honorable mention. i mostly had comic +#+ brain with that section#long post#woollyworm#demon hipster chicks#scott pilgrim headcanons
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Ok so these designs are cute as hell, the Internet is just mean
I have too many thoughts about a game I still need to watch
#goodbye volcano high#i dont have the money to buy it but god i need to watch a playthrough when i have time it's so interesting to me#like; the theme of 'yeah we're going die but that doesn't mean we can enjoy what time we have left' sounds amazing to me love that#its so funny i was actually watching a review of it that was basically 'this game sucks and here's why'#and then it just started listing off shit like- 'the characters designs are pastel they're nonbinary you die no matter what'#and then my neurons just went off and went '👁️👁️ oh! sounds amazing i want to see more'#fuck yeah pastel nonbinary dinosaurs lets go#well i think its just fang thats nonbinary and then two other trans characters#i saw a cutscene! and it was about the experiences of being an apart of a family as sec-gen immigrant and trans-#and i thought that was cool as hell dont recall ever seeing that in any of thr arts ive seen before (but there's lots of art out there!)#heard it got some glitches tho (havent looked in depth of what those glitches are) hopefully it got patched out#also im so fucking pissed i saw the gator game before i saw this 😮💨 (context; apparently made by people who made a fangame where they#the mc of this game a datable side character and they only have a happy ending if they detransition? which fucking yikes😬)#i saw people say 'oh but they did it empathetically' like how the fuck is taking a canon nb character and making them only happy through#detransitioning empathetic that sounds super fucking shitty and gross#i think a character that detransitions can be done and would be interesting to see- but this just reeks of people being transphobic for real#oh also purple dino has a slug or worm or something apparently! seems cute! just a lil thing#apparently its a rhythm game; listened to some of the songs and it sounded good! sadly i suck at rhythm games#but apparently failing doesn't affect the story? kinda wish it would but honestly better for me lol-#pink one and fang end up dating i believe- from what i saw pink is like- soft spoken artist? dunno if accurate but she's cute#all the characters are cute just look at them!!! awesome#also they have to just continue school like normal before they die and honestly thats so real#also saw people dislike the fact you dont see the characters actual die or the meteor#which is ??? dunno i just think some things are better left implied than shown-#anyways man i keep trying to find neat stuff about the game and all i see is people bitchin about it or praising the shit fan on instead 😔#man if i had two nickles for a time i grew to become obsessed with a media only for loads of people to hate id have two nickles#first nickle is kat elliot she's such a cool character Internet wasn't ready for her#also yes i saw obsessed i can just tell this is something ill go bonkers for#i mean god look how much text is in my tags for this already! and i still need to see the game in it's fullness!#im sure there's other cool shit
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I wanna see Erina beating the shit out of Dio and Jonathan in awe.
SHE WOULD HAVE TORN HIM TO SHREDS
she would kick his ass psyhically aND berated him and belittled him and shattred his ego soooo hard she would have i know it
LIKE AGAIN, nearly their whOLE life jona could never get Dio to break that cool guy act for even a second, dio ALWAYS felt he was one step ahead of jona and kinda was.
but with erina she IMMEDIATELY got under his skin she knew jUST how to piss him off
she would have made him sooo furious he would have EXPLODED and never recovered, she would have had him embarrassing himself in public i just KNOW IT
#i feel like its meant to be that dio hates woman and her being like that was just a cherry on top of his mysgony or whatever#moving that aside#i think erina was of the few ppl dio respected actually#dios very teeny list that consist of jonathan and his mom#erina on there to me#her wiping his kiss off with mud like#it pissed him off#but you know he went home and layed and bed and went... ok... that was kinda cool.. i get it ... i see what jonathan sees
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every day, my new initiative to wait til a show is done airing to watch it seems more and more like the right choice. And it's not all shows mind you (I'm literally watching 3 right now), just shows that I have high expectations for, especially with plot and themes. It seems like pretty much every time I get my hopes up, the story inevitably fumbles so i'm better off waiting til it's over so I can get my expectations in order.
Like, I want to watch these shows while they're airing and join in the discussions and stuff but I also hate being disappointed when the show doesn't live up to my expectations and lately it seems almost inevitable that it won't, especially from gmmtv.
#last twilight was the worst offender because I initially did hold off due to lingering feelings from vv and then by like ep 8 it was still#strong so I thought it would be fine and then we all know how that went#the addicted remake which I really did want to be good#my love mix up thai which I should've held off on honestly because even watching a couple episodes of that made me so frustrated#and depressed#4 minutes#my expectations weren't as high as other people's but it was still kinda eh#I saw you in my dream#blank#debating whether the on1y one should be on here hmm because the announcement about the second season does have me feeling less annoyed but#also I'm still annoyed#I hear the sunspot#oh wandee good day cannot believe I forgot about that one#and peaceful property because that's what's inspiring this right now#only friends! though I don't regret watching that week by week#it was an Experience#25 in akasaka#there's probably so many I'm missing just because my memory is shit and I especially don't remember them if I end up dropping them out of#my watch list#which I've been doing a lot this year#23.5#I'm trying to have no expectations for Pluto other than being insane#hopefully it serves me well
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they're doing construction on the nearest major road and so all traffic is getting routed right next to us and all the noise makes me want to shoot myself in the head
#it's so bad even when everyone stays on the other road#and it's leaking through my noise canceling headphones 😭#between migraine and autism i am Not Doing Well#it was kinda funny when i first got my nose cancellling headphones i was like “omg i don't wanna immediately kill myself”#and my attempts went wayyyy down lol#hashtag autism#idk man i'm just so fucking tired#it's just one thing after the next#i have so much to do today but i am so overstimulated and exhausted and in so much pain#and i'm still fighting the fucking hoa so that they don't mow all my native plants down#okay well off to take care of my to do list
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"Uhh sweetie? Are you *sure* you're not intersex?" - My bf, when I finally let him play with my girlcock
#welp#girlies i think it might be official#hes in a medical field as well hes done training in that sort of thing#he kinda went dr mode and started listing things off to me which i admittedly didnt understand and cant remember#because it was mid sexytimes and i had just been choked#what do i even do about it tho#i have a round of blood tests in january to double check if i legit have a cis female hormone cycle#but ill have to do an MRI to really find out#its all stitches and scarring down there anyway#but uh yea#i might have to change my bio and yknow whole identity#BUT!#it was really fun! he taught me a lot of stuff cause yknow i hate my girlcock so refuse to really do anything with it so dont know anything#and uh i didnt know pleasure like that was possible#so net gain#and no ive never let anyone touch me down there before lol
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I WOULD get the most awful itch to write after months of not rly writing (tm2 scripting doesn’t count) during artfight huh 😔
#AUGHHH!! I want toWRITE#(sitting down to draw rn bc I have a huge list of charas I WANT RO DRAW BUT I WANT TO WRITE AT THE SAME TIME#WHY WAS I NOT BORN AN OCTOPUS SO I COULD MULTITASK WITH MANT ARMS)#I got back from the psych appointment a while ago and I’m kinda exhausted mentally from that so I’m not sure I could rly write even if I#want to lol#it went well it’s just that talking abt that kind of thing is exhausting and kind of embarrassing when it’s professionals like lol sorry my#brain sucks and then they ask well how does it suck. and that’s embarrassing somehow#guy made me do math too and that was actually so painfully embarrassing I ended up just kind of asking if we could skip that bc after like#several guesses I could NOT do basic math at the top of my head 😭#like sir we both see I’m struggling PLSS just mark this as a bad area and GO ON#he was so nice and that made it worse 🥲 djdkfkrjfk#anyway when art fight is done I will write something….#maybe finish that loz fic I still have as a wip ?? I was deeply mad at it and also totk pissed me off so bad I didn’t want to touch a loz#fic for a while for fear of taking my frustration out on it and turning a fic into a fixit rant fic 😭 it isn’t even a botw fic lmaoo theres#no need for that. but also I could fix her (bad video game) (totk not botw I love botw)#here’s 2 hoping echos of wisdom is good (PLEASE PLEASW BE GOOD RARE PLAYABLE ZELDA GAME)#(SO FEW LOZ GAMES LET U BE ZELDA I NEED U TO BE GOOD MY MENTAL HEALTH HIMGES ON U)#sanchoyorambles
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any suggestions for roles or reboots that would fit 30+ muses well? either existing or new ones!
we would love more older muses around here. some ideas for older muses in existing reboots are listed under the cut since it's quite a long list. however some other reboots that could definitely fit 30+ muses are : 13 going on 30, legally blonde, american psycho, mamma mia, how i met your mother, the office & desperate housewives !!
the vampire diaries: alaric saltzman, jenna sommers, john gilbert, meredith fell, sybil, liz forbes, lillian salvatore, josette laughlin, isobel flemming, carol lockwood, abby bennett, pearl, mikael mikaelson, zach salvatore & esther mikaelson.
the oc: alex kelly, sandy cohen, kirsten cohen, julie cooper, jimmy cooper
one tree hill: dan scott, keith scott, deb scott, karen roe, quinn james.
sons of anarchy: jax teller, opie winston, donna winston, gemma teller-morrow, clay morrow, tara knowles, juice ortiz, tig trager, chibs telford, happy, wendy case, half-sack epps.
gilmore girls: sookie st. james, christopher hayden, emily gilmore, richard gilmore, max medina, michel gerard, mrs. kim.
pretty little liars: ezra fitz, melissa hastings, wren kingston, ashley marin, meredith sorenson, veronica hastings, ella montgomery, byron montgomery, ian thomas, tom marin.
sex and the city: samantha jones, charlotte york, miranda hobbes, mr. bing, aiden shaw.
supernatural: dean winchester, sam winchester, jo harvelle, bobby singer, john winchester, mary winchester, ruby, lilith, castiel, ellen harvelle, jessica moore.
friends: phoebe buffay, ross geller (ross gang), janice hosenstein, gunther, mike hannigan, carol willick, emily waltham, susan bunch, kathy, jill green, amy green.
criminal minds: spencer reid, derek morgan, penelope garcia, emily prentiss, hotch hotchner, jason gideon, david rossi, elle greenaway.
grey's anatomy: lexie grey, mark sloan, derek shepherd, amelia shepherd, izzie stevens, george o'malley, cristina yang, alex karev, miranda bailey, callie torres, arizona robbins, april kepner, jackson avery, owen hunt, addison montgomery.
true blood: bill compton, eric northman, lafayette reynolds, sam merlotte, tara thorton, pam, alcide heveraux.
jennifers body: nikolai wolff
resident evil: chris redfield, albert walker, jill valentine, ada wong, barry burton, rebecca chambers, ashley graham.
scream: gale weathers, dewey riley.
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does your doctors ever just drop something on you much later about your meds or your conditions and it explains a lot
#Like my seizure meds can make me dehydrated#I've been on them three years and just kinda chalked up being thirsty to ya know...needing water but nope Keppra can make you dehydrated#Or when I was taking sucrafate for 6 months before a Dr told me I had to take it several hours before eating BC IT PREVENTS UPTAKE#OF ANYTHING INCLUDING MEDS SO I BASICALLY WASNT TAKING MY MEDS FOR MONTHS AND WAS GETTING SICK AND DIDNT KNOW WHY#BC NO ONE BOTHERED TO TELL ME I SHOULDNT TAKE IT WITH OTHER MEDS JUST NOT FOOD??#AND THE DOC DIDNT EVEN TELL ME INTENTIONALLY SHE JUST MENTIONED IT OFF HAND AND I WAS LIKE WAIT WHAT#SHE WAS SO SHOCKED NO ONE TOLD ME AND IT WASNT LISTED ON THE BOTTLE#I'm still mad about it I was getting extra seizures for months for no reason bc of an oversight#Since I got that info I've been taking my meds properly and I haven't had a seizure for almost a year#:)#Remember to ask every question you can think of and ask aggressively#Every interaction with other meds every side effect#You NEED to know you're not being pushy it's your body and health#ASK THINGS OF YOUR DR ITS WHY THEYRE THERE ITS FOR THE BEST#chronic illness#medicine#Medication#Even if you are being pushy it's your right to know everything about why and what they're giving you#I also thought Ativan was a neasua drug for a while bv they always give it to me in the er when I have a cvs episode#But it's for anxiety and they use it to put me out while the actual drugs work and that's okay!!!#But I didn't know so I stared asking for Ativan (and zofran) when I went in and got denied because they thought I was a junkie/on detox#For a med a doctor would otherwise order for my distress bc I didn't know better#Know your meds and know them well it can only help you in the long run#Keeping a list written or digital that you can show doctors also helps so they know how drugs can interact if your an er frequent flyer#Like me
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:(
#the sky speaks#vent time!!#tw suicidal ideation#i wish i could just hate my mother it would be so much easier#but shes trying so hard and in so much pain#but shes so TIRING to be around !!!!#she got in a wreck this evening. she was drinking and driving around to all of people who don't talk to her anymore#shes getting a dui i guess?#and this is just one thing in a looooong list of shit shes pulled#ive heard her scream and sob so much today. but now shes also saying she wants to die. over n over#full on existential crisis. she feels no purpose and is so lonely#she left this morning to go shopping tyen just never came home. my dad asked me to call her and she answered and just said#i can't. im sorry. and hung up on me. then she turned off her phone and we didnt know where she was for a half hour#and i was so fucjing worried that shed killed herswlf or somthing i couldnr even remember rhe last thing i said to her?#i hugged her for so long when we finally got home#but im just so tired of loving her#shes still down there crying but i cqnt listen tk her anymore. my head is pounding. i wanna sob. i never wanna cry again.#i kinda wanna die too but i feel like i cant tell anyone really. moms such a mess how could i possibly put these feelings onto dad or thomas#and not mom. god. shes thw reason i feel like that. evwry time. im so tired of her falling apart that id rather not be here.#if i had just sucked up being on my period and went shopping with her today this wouldn't have happened. but that shoyldnr be how it is!!!!!#im allowed ro stay home!!! i shouldnr have to babysit her!! but ive felt like i was HER mother aince i was 17#im just so tired
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Marja is trending on twitter and it amazes me that it took y’all 3 seasons to realize she’s a flop who doesn’t know what she’s doing with this show or these characters
I, however, have been a day one Marja-Loser Ryan hater
#i really couldn’t give less of a fuck about tibette tbh but I felt like I was having my time wasted by being forced to watch a will they-#won’t they storyline for a couple that already went through 6 seasons of that#Dani and Gigi breaking up and Gigi going back to Nat doesn’t surprise me and it kinda makes sense but it was so rushed and clunky and this#is after Gigi was rushed from a relationship with Bette to a relationship with Dani#people are annoyed at Shane’s cheating storyline with kehlani but tbh it’s the only interesting thing happening right now and at least#there’s some women fucking on screen and also I can’t stand Tess and her back and forth feelings about Shane and lowkey the way she uses her#Alice/leisha hailey is so underutilized even tho she’s so funny and has tremendous comedic timing and improv skills#Idk how Kate goes to work every day know the writers dgaf about her character like Shane never has anything to do#Finley is lowkey the only interesting gen q character right now and her sobriety storyline is kind of interesting to watch and I wish they’d#maybe delve into her family/religious trauma but good luck#Micah and maribel? get off my screen y’all are wasting my time with your stupid baby plotline plsssss#maybe it’s for the best that they won’t let Sarah shahi come back bc this show is a dumpster fire and she’s moving into her A-list star era#the l word#the l word gen q
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lol update: hashtag confirmed the Boss-Boss (as in, the Top Boss not just the project managers' boss) yelled at the Errant PM today. apparently he went through her task list with her and....did not like what he was seeing lmao. and trust me, this guy has always been very helpful when you're overwhelmed and will go out of his way to help you out, so if he's yelling that truly means there's not a problem with her actually having too much work or unreasonable clients, and it's just her scatterbrained-ness and disorganization.
we abandoned developers are scratching our heads trying to figure out what the hell she's doing if she's not posting tasks for us. like, a) we know she's not doing 8 hours of meetings all day and b) tasks are not going to get off her list if she doesn't give them to people to do.
anyway I'm at the point of wondering if I could ask one of the other PMs to post Errant PM's tasks for me, bc I have nothing to do and also I'm on vacation in a week and a half and I'm getting worried about getting everything done before then 😬
#boy howdy this situation is spiralling#i know she's going through an emotional time right now and working remotely and all but..#we're miles beyond the limit for 'acceptable disruptions to work because your personal life sucks'#and it's not just me she has tasks for! apparently she has 25+ stockpiled like she's saving them up for winter#why!! just post them!! it doesn't take very long and it'll get them off your list for a while!!#anyway. i need to ask the group for tasks and im procrastinating#i want to ask if another PM can post her stuff but also i know that will just make her even more angry#the worst part is before all this shit went down i thought were kinda becoming friends#and then she jumped down my throat for asking her to post stuff last week so....guess not#listen i know stress changes people but if you go from sweet and bubbly to the biggest jackass ever...i can't vibe w you 😔
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top 5 mcr songs
this list has changed a lot recently tbh!! i’ve got a post in my drafts rn talking about how much i feel like my attitude toward the band has changed in general :)
1. oh god number one i THINK i think has to be foundations… i post about it all the time but honestly i don’t think a song has ever made me feel the way that song does. i just never thought i would see the day a new mcr song was released really… but this is not just because it’s the new song!! i have personally found so much meaning in the messages and themes (the way i interpret them at least) and identify a lot with it.
2. the jetset life is gonna kill you! it’s my FAVEEE off revenge i just love how it progresses lyrically and musically and how it advances the album story while also being a standalone song (sidebar- fuck you spotify for removing the transition from ghost of you into this song…)
3. DESTROYA… may be a surprising pick but it is my fave off danger days easily like no contest. i just think that the buildups and breakdowns and the fucking. GUITAR RIFFF after the bridge are some of my favorite music moments of all time.
4. mama!! you should have raised a baby girl i should have (!!!!) been a better son. tbh.
5. bury me in black!! now i’ll be honest i didn’t pay much attention to her prior to tour… but the past few months i have had it on REPEAT. and i really really hope there’s either a live version/finished recorded version coming because i am obsessed with the lyric change (i wanna see what your insides look like -> you wanna see what my insides look like) and how much it changes the whole tone of the song for me
#asks :)#this was ahrd to do lmao#bc i have several lists of the songs i think are their best/the songs that are most important to me/the songs that are my favorites#so for this i kinda went off my faves from each album#guy who is normal voice
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Now don't get too excited bc idk how well organized i can be today after being woken up twice from my slumber last night by a man roaming our street hollering obscenities (i hope everyone is ok) but I might attempt to get a vampire look done to celebrate US Halloween.
Was too slow to do so yesterday.
Maybe do, like, a Rachel take on a vampire
Times like these i kinda wish i could do SFX makeup. Also all I have in that regard is a white face powder I got from Halloween release at Kmart a few years ago lol. Not exactly groundbreaking materials 😅
#got a lot of pots on the boil as usual#the to do list is massive + ever-growing and i almost (in classic Rachel style) went off on a tangent listing them off here in tags#but now i think i just need to get on with it#if you see me post after this it is probably all part of the plan lol#(many of the tasks are to do with social media to do with getting things uploaded on various platforms engagement and whatnot)#so with that it's time for a nice big cup of Mi-chai tea and hopefully you should see me posting some original content soon ☺️#(gotta do some reblogging too bc i feel kinda guilty about roasting that curtain dress in a previous post 😅 i hate being mean lol)#personal#Rachel rambles#goals
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Tomorrow’s to do list:
A fuckload of laundry
Wipe down everything (especially the windowsill where Benji likes to walk around on his dirty paws even though he has a cushion to sit on up there)
Clean Benji because he will probably get himself covered in grass
Hand Benji and all of his things safely over to his dad
Pick up my prescription
VOTE
???
Edibles
#seemingly today was the day the council decided to send someone to cut the grass of ALL the parks in town and all the little common areas#but they didn’t send anyone to pick up the grass and it’s gotten pretty long so it’s just out there in mounds#they also didn’t consider the fact that it rained monday and yesterday to be an obstacle to their grass cutting#basically there’s mounds of wet grass ✨✨EVERYWHEEEEERE✨✨#and benji’s a little white fluffy dog. i’ve had to attack him with baby wipes twice today already#also yes i’m going to be going without antidepressants for 24 hours because i’m stupid and the pharmacy is closed now because i did not plan#ahead for this eventuality#i’ll be fine. right? i went 27 years freeballing reality pretty much and.. okay yeah i wasn’t fine but i lived#i’ll be fine. i’ll be fine! i’m pretty sure i forgot to take it for nearly a full day a couple of times before#and i pretty much never take my beta blockers even though i 100% should#i’m not really making a good case here am i. i’m FINE#left this off the list but i might also do scalp treatments because my hair feels kinda baked ngl#fuck it. we ball#personal
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