#i kept the name because i associated it with the character so deeply at that point. ✨ETYMOLOGY✨

[eliounora]

quick doodle of my oc, haru! I’ve changed her character quite a bit recently

[sylusjinwoon]

{ 178 }

darling.

yandere!sung jinwoo x bi!fem.reader x yandere!cha hae-in

warnings: violence; ooc hae-in and jinwoo, i’m so sorry.

dedicated to @starzgaze

{ i want to ruin our friendship; we should be lovers instead. }

anonymous said: Helloo!! I don't know if you're willing to do a request but I was thinking an Jinwoo x reader x cha hae in since the reader is bisexual (I can't blame the reader if she's attracted to both of them Because I am too HUHU) although they don't know that they're crushes where Yanderes this whole time KABSKAKSJ :>

once you finished organizing all the reports for the chairman, you hear the older man thanking you for your time as he allowed you to go home for the rest of the day. you smile at chairman go gunhee, reassuring him that it was no trouble helping him at all as you stepped out of his office with a bounce in your step.

lately, the appearance of high leveled gates had become far and few in between. there seemed to be more peaceful days piling on as the hunters and healers alike were given little to do during such a time.

and the cause of this sudden decrease in raids?

a competition between the two most powerful guilds in all of seoul, korea-

the hunters guild vs ahjin guild.

despite being good friends with two of the most prominent members of each guild, (hae-in and jinwoo, respectively), you hadn’t the slightest clue why they were so competitive.

regardless of their reasoning, neither you or your fellow hunters and healers complained. after all, they were doing a great service, making all these gates disappear while restoring peace back to the entire nation within mere days.

as you were heading out of the association building, you felt the hairs stand up at the back of your neck. you had a strange sensation of being watched. your heart was felt pounding with anticipation… and before you could turn around to face whoever was watching you-

the sudden scent of vanilla fills your senses, feeling cha hae-in running up to you while letting out a soft coo of your name. “hello… i’ve missed you!”

her sudden affection and desire to be close to you was a bit out of character from how she usually was, you knew that as a fact. before you ever transferred to korea’s hunter association branch, she was known as being standoffish and aloof, never once getting close to civilians or other hunters since she had such a sensitive sense of smell.

you knew about her mana sensitivities and kept your distance from her out of respect the moment you transferred. however, it all changes when she actually came face to face with you. a dreamy expression would paint her features, and she would come closer to you, literally sniffing at your blouse when she giggles and says, “you smell so good… like sweet cinnamon rolls… just so sugary sweet…”

her comment about the scent of you and your mana makes you feel flustered as you simply thanked her, which was the moment she had proclaimed herself as your best friend.

hae-in giggles while deeply inhaling your scent, basking in it for a few moment before clinging to you. “hey, how about we have another slumber party! it’ll be my treat!”

“huh? hae-in, we had one just a few days ago… are you not tired of seeing me?”

“not at all! come on, the gates haven’t been appearing as much thanks to how well i have been doing, and i want to spend more time with you.” hae-in giggles while clinging to your arm.

you join her in her laughter, actually not minding having so many slumber parties with her since it was quite fun. whether it be having a movie marathon, or gaming with her while enjoying takeout and snacks, you liked spending time with her… maybe even as more than friends.

as you smile back at hae-in and ask about what she would like to get as takeout, you were unaware of the almost victorious expression on her face, her eyes glowing a bright golden hue as she sneered back at the hunter with startling, purple eyes filled with envy.

{ … }

sung jinwoo had tried to kill cha hae-in many times, seeing as though she were the sole threat when it came to obtaining your heart.

but unfortunately for him, the woman was persistent and powerful in her own ways. when she felt threatened, even feeling the tiniest chance of being ripped away from you-

that was when her claws were revealed to him.

he clutches the sharp dagger in his hand, knowing that if he just aimed the weapon slightly to his left, then he would be able to pierce through hae-in’s skull-

however, he did not wish to traumatize you.

it was ultimately the love he had for you that stops him from going through with his plans of killing hae-in right then and there-

you, being as innocent as ever, were completely unaware of the ongoing war he and hae-in shared. ever since he first caught sight of you, accidentally bumping into you as he helped you gather your belongings and get you back on your feet-

jinwoo knew that he was a goner.

he spent countless days and even hours following you, knowing that placing his soldiers within your shadow wouldn’t be enough for him.

(it was never enough for him.)

taking advantage of his powers, he made it his life’s mission to remain ever so close to you, doing all that he could to woo you with various gifts while taking you out on various dates-

however, she would always get in the way of him.

each time he purchases a nice bouquet for you, the next minute, he would find it sabotaged and ripped to shreds.

each time he would try to speak to you and ask you out on a date, hae-in would appear at the most inappropriate times and steal you away from him-

a feat that always manages to make his blood burn with hatred for cha hae-in.

he tried to get rid of her; tried numerous times to rip her heart out so that she could never breathe the same air as you ever again-

but he couldn’t do it.

the woman was far too strong-

and her love for you matched with his.

(a fact that he had to admit and accept in a rather begrudging manner.)

he hated how natural and easy it was for hae-in to get closer to you. being a naturally born woman meant that she was able to steal your attention under the guise of being your “sole best friend.”

whereas jinwoo had to use his shadow soldier’s eyes to watch you sleep-

that damn woman had the pleasure of sharing her bed with you each time she held a ‘sleepover.’ and jinwoo could feel such feelings of envy filling him to the brim as he had to bite down on his tongue to contain his rage, nearly tasting the coppery sensation of his blood from how close he was to biting his tongue off-

but he digressed.

despite all odds, sung jinwoo and cha hae-in were evenly matched-

and if he couldn’t obtain you by getting rid of her, then he’d just have to use the element of surprise…

{ … }

you were currently in hae-in’s apartment, laughing while telling stories with her as she began to paint your nails.

to be honest, she was awful at painting your nails, with each paint stroke of polish leaving an obvious streak against the skin surrounding your cuticles. when she finishes with applying the polish on your last nail, you had to fight back a giggle.

“ah, it seems as though i found the gorgeous and powerful hae-in’s weakness… nail polish.”

weak words of protests fall from her lips, but internally she was screaming with unbidden joy. you called her gorgeous! she’s gorgeous to you!

you continue to softly giggle and take her hand, not even bothering to wait for your own polished nails to dry as you slowly showed her how to paint nails in a more neater manner.

“okay, so always try to follow the curve at the end of your cuticles. it takes a lot of practice, but it’s so satisfying once such a perfect color is put on your nails!”

hae-in made tiny sounds of affirmation, seeming to give you random nods here and there. in all actuality, her face was darkened in a deep red hue, feeling ecstatic and on cloud 9 upon feeling your hand holding on to hers.

within just 20 or so minutes, you finished polishing hae-in’s nails, placing a top coat on it so that it could look shiny and dry faster. you admire your work for a few more minutes before letting her hand go-

only to feel your body being pushed against her mattress.

“eh…? hae-in?” your eyes go wide when hae-in looks down at you with glowing, golden eyes. she lets out a purr of your name all while framing at your face with her two hands.

“you know… we’ve been best friends for a while, right?” hae-in gently caresses at your features, her full lips inching ever so closely to you as you could feel her hot breath on your skin.

“ah, yes, we have…”

the gorgeous blond woman lets out a sigh before pressing a kiss against your cheek, an unexpected touch of affection that causes your heart to race uncontrollably in response.

your whisper of her name was filled with anticipation when hae-in leans closer to you. “best friends like you and i need to know each other’s tastes, right…? you would agree with such a sentiment… right my pretty little darling?”

“u-uhm…!” you couldn’t respond, your mind spinning as hae-in leaned closer and closer to your lips, ready to capture them as you clenched your eyes shut-

but the sensation of her kiss never came.

instead, all you felt was the way the air became much colder, causing you to open your eyes as a scream was heard coming from your parted lips.

a tall, looming shadow swiftly brings down a dagger against hae-in, but her senses were too sharp as she captures the weapon with her hand.

a flash of anger twists her beautiful face, her fury evident as she spat out his name “sung jinwoo, don’t you realize how close you were to hurting my darling girl?!”

“SHE WOULD HAVE BEEN FINE HAD YOU STAYED IN PLACE!” jinwoo roars at hae-in, ripping her body away from you as he slams the woman down on the ground.

the polishes fall against the floors of hae-in’s bedroom in the midst of their scuffle, spilling various colors against the hardwood as it stains at them. your heart was racing, seeing the two most powerful hunters in all of existence fighting each other-

fighting for you.

fighting over you.

you kept seeing flashes of gold and purple clashing together, with jinwoo’s daggers trying to pierce at hae-in, yet she manages to parry each of his cuts with her sword.

you had to do something to stop this madness, but all you felt was an overwhelming sense of dread consuming you.

you adored basking in hae-in and jinwoo’s friendship, and you felt ashamed to admit it, but you developed feelings for both of them…

you never wished to lose either one of them, choosing instead to balance on the cusp of friendship and romance with them. it was hard, keeping them always at an arm’s length away-

and now, they were both going to kill each other-

you were going to lose them both if you didn’t do something now.

“jinwoo, hae-in, PLEASE STOP!”

the desperation was heard in your voice, and it echoes throughout the room. as if awakened from a trance, jinwoo and hae-in stopped their attacks on each other, eyes going dreamy as they moved away from each other. an almost longing sigh of your name was heard coming from them as they dropped their respective weapons and crawled toward you.

“oh no, my darling is afraid.”

“she’s so scared of losing me.”

“i love her, i need to comfort her and tell her that everything will be okay.”

“she’s so sweet and cute… i need to comfort her…”

your breathing becomes labored when jinwoo and hae-in both join you on the bed. they continue to whisper about their devotion to you, completely forgetting the fact that they had just tried to kill each other mere seconds before as they both surrounded you.

jinwoo places your body on top of his while wrapping his arms around your frame.

hae-in opts to remain behind you, practically sandwiching you between her and jinwoo as you shivered at feeling both of their bodies so close to you. unable to respond, you could only remain still when jinwoo and hae-in began littering your throat and neck with heated kisses, all while proclaiming their love for you.

rejoice, for you had captured the hearts of the two most powerful hunters in the world!

or perhaps… a warning for you would be more appropriate… since it will be difficult for you to escape from the intensity of their love unscathed…

a.n. - this is such a different story for me to write, but i figured i could pass time completing this story while waiting for my meeting. ｡ﾟ(TヮT)ﾟ｡ currently unedited, but once it’s posted and my meeting is complete, i’ll go back and make any necessary changes. but for now, enjoy!

all stories are written by rei; reposts, translations, and plagiarism are not allowed.

[lostinthesasuke]

do you think sasuke is religious or upholds his clan's religious practices? i was rereading and in the part where they go to resucitate the hokages orochimaru says "there's nothing left of the uchiha's nakano shrine", to which sasuke answers "the exterior doesn't matter" and it got me wondering

HI YES thank you so much for sending this ask. it's very close to me. elaborated a Lot under the cut but tl;dr - yes.

he is religious in the only way he remembers how to be. preserving Uchiha tradition and culture is deeply important to him. when he said the exterior of Nakano shrine didn't matter, sure he was referring to the fact that there was a hidden underground level... but it meant much more than that.

genocide doesn't just claim lives, it claims languages and religions and every facet of culture. konoha has been known to participate in the censorship and eradication of culture. this assimilation functions as an extension of genocide.

by virtue of being a survivor, i think sasuke feels an obligation to "carry the torch". since he was so young when the massacre occurred, it's likely a lot of practice and customs have been lost altogether. this is distressing to him. even during his character introduction at 12 years old, his clans "restoration" was first and foremost in his mind. to me this statement was never about re-population as many people interpret, but about justice, pride, and culture.

he feels as though the Uchiha name has been "tainted" and it is his responsibility to "purify" it. but what that means to him shifts over time.

the Uchiha clan's religion is obviously based on and deeply tied to the Shinto religion, just like the clan's jutsu and kekkei genkai. many Uchiha jutsu are named after Shinto deities.

this part i am not going to delve into too much yet because one day i will probably write a paper about it, but one of the tenets of Shinto belief is the importance of purity. Shinto practice and customs are regionally variant but the practice of purification is central. death is considered to be extremely impure. this context is deeply relevant to Sasuke's belief system and the way he thinks about himself and his clan.

it is likely that the uchiha religion is closed, evidenced by nakano shrine being kept a secret. sasuke not only has to contend with the fact that the remaining pieces of his culture are guarded and hidden, requiring the use of high-level dojutsu to decipher, but also that any of it may have been altered. the revelation that the stone tablet was altered in order to facilitate madara's manipulation and further subjugation of the uchiha was destabilizing. sasuke has to put the pieces of his religion back together with mostly his memories to rely on.

many parallels can be drawn between sasuke and the sun goddess Amaterasu. when she is betrayed by her brother Susanoo, she withdraws into a cave and plunges the world into darkness. Susanoo conspires to manipulate her into leaving the cave, and then binds her.

this gender reversal is sort of fascinating. Amaterasu and Susanoo contradict the popular notions about the sun and moon and the masculine and feminine. of course this reminds me of sasuke as well, because everything does.

sasuke is typically associated with the waning crescent, the phase just before a new moon, and itachi with a full moon. since sasuke is associated with the moon, the yin, and the feminine, it would logically follow that he would be passive like water; low like a valley. however, he subverts this expectation.

i believe this is a big part of why he makes so many people uncomfortable. he is fire and lightning and he is not a perfect victim.

after speaking to the kage and revealing the secrets of Nakano shrine, he resolves himself to burn the world down and be reborn like a phoenix. like the waning crescent before a new moon.

he is not "pure" the way itachi expects, kishimoto states, or many fans anticipate. he has strong convictions and he is confident. he is not apologetic and he is impossible to ignore.

the first time we ever see sasuke associated with the sun is after he learns the truth about the massacre. he leaves his cave. he sheds hebi and becomes taka, predator instead of prey. he is ready to spill as much blood as it takes.

i have many ideas about what Uchiha religious customs might look like, and many of them concern fire. the uchiwa fan that stokes the flames is their crest. they are seen as fully fledged members of the clan once they can perform katon jutsu. the shrine that houses the Uchiha's patron deity has eternal flames lit.

drawing from my own religion, one of my favorite metas draws a parallel between the Uchiha fire affinity and

אש תמיד (Aish tamid)

which means eternal flame. (sorry for line break, tumblr hates right to left languages). Aish tamid refers to the flame in the temple of Jerusalem that was always kept alight before its desecration by the greeks. just like the torches located in Nakano shrine.

the greeks attempted to hellenize and extinguish Jewish culture. they outlawed observance of Shabbat and circumcision, spat in the face of kashrut by sacrificing pigs in the temple, and even built statues of their gods within. the Jewish people rebelled against them and the flame was rekindled.

rebellion, justice, and pride in culture is in the spirit of fire. unending, always enduring. Sasuke and the Uchiha clan embody this, their crests always emblazoned on their clothes even at the cost of armor. from Madara's rage, to the coup, to Sasuke's revenge, justice is an integral component to the Uchiha ethos.

to me this is a really interesting contrast to the will of fire. the will of fire is the ideal of nationalism-- putting the state before the self. this idea is lauded as heroism. it was originated by the senju, no wonder.

meanwhile, the uchiha clan with their fire affinity and deeply spiritual connection to flame are seen as transgressors. they are seen as disruptive to the ideal of the "will of fire" due to their strong cultural identity. they refuse to assimilate into the dominant culture. they prioritize their love and familial bonds with each other over konoha's interests.

naruto wiki im going to kill you

they are labeled with the opposing "curse of hatred".

it is no surprise then that itachi was praised for his strong "will of fire" for carrying out the massacre-- putting the well-being of the state over the lives of his family. groomed into following the senju doctrine and abandoning his own culture. assimilated and outcast.

in modern culture Aish tamid is kept alight by the continuation of religious practice- praying and studying Torah keep the flame burning. "The exterior doesn't matter". the flame is already burning within Sasuke.

sasuke carries on whatever pieces of his culture he remembers, and he prays in the dark, and he thinks of his mother with her hands clasped at the kamidana, and he visits shrines often on his journey. he lights incense and he burns brightly. and he walks on.

[firehose118]

Okay even after writing this I’m still thinking about the importance of Tommy calling Buck Evan.

Names are identities. Names can be armor or they can be intimate (if you want a deeper exploration of this in fiction, please watch Black Sails). A chosen identity can be especially important as a way to control how you are viewed by others.

He goes by Buck because that’s what they called him in the academy. “Buck” is a firefighter, and as we know being a firefighter is his whole reason for living (as evidenced by the cursed lawsuit arc). He could have gone back to “Evan” when he joined the 118, but he introduced himself as “Buck” very intentionally. It was a reinvention, a shedding of his past.

Evan is a name that he associates with his parents, and his parents are so much of the reason why it took him so long to understand who he is fundamentally. Evan is who he was as a child. Evan is his parents’ unwanted son, the name they’d say like a curse whenever he did something stupid to get their attention. He hates being called Evan because his parents yelled it at him so many times that the very sound of it feels like a scold.

As others have pointed out, he probably got flustered and introduced himself to Tommy as Evan Buckley before correcting himself and saying Buck. But Tommy latched on to that and kept calling him Evan. It doesn’t seem like Buck corrected him. He doesn’t mind the name in Tommy’s mouth.

Tommy isn’t talking to Buck-the-firefighter. He’s talking to Evan-the-man. When Tommy says “Evan” he’s saying, “I see the you that is underneath the person you project out into the world. I see the you that you really are and I will call you by your name.”

There’s something deeply intimate there. Buck was a womanizer (which, he wasn’t, but that’s another post). Evan is queer. Tommy sees the Evan that Buck has been suppressing for so long—the one he didn’t even know was there—and he brings that person to the surface. He speaks to the heart of him directly.

Think about how few times people call him “Evan” throughout the series. Maddie uses that name when she hasn’t even spoken to him in three years. Evan is her little brother. She starts calling him Buck when she gets to know him as a man, not a little boy. She respects that he is a different person now than he was when she last saw him. She understands the difference.

Eddie calls him Evan exactly once, as far as I can remember, and that was very intentional on his part. When he sat on that hospital bed and said “Because, Evan,” Eddie needed him to listen, needed him to understand how important what he was saying is. Eddie understands the power of calling him Evan, understands he needs to address a fundamentally different part of this man to get him to understand how important he is to Eddie. To Chris. At all.

One thing I haven’t personally seen discussed is the sort of meta reason why his character is called Buck: his defining characteristics in the first season are how young and inexperienced and reckless he is. He’s a young buck. I genuinely believe the writers came up with that and then decided to give him the last name Buckley as an excuse to call him that.

So for Tommy to call him Evan, and for him to accept that as an identity without cringing, is him growing up. Excuse the phrase, but it’s him healing his inner child. To hear “Evan” said casually, reverently, lovingly is a revelation. It is a connection between the lonely child and the actualized adult. It is the man in his totality.

[misscammiedawn]

You may have discussed it before, but would you mind speaking a little bit on how you discovered you have DID?

I feel like I have a pretty stable core identity but there have been times under intense stress where I’ve experienced sudden “switches” in my personality. During a particularly bad period for a little over a year there was a time where I distinctly felt like a different person and did things I wouldn’t normally do, and I remember the specific moment where I came back into my body and became “me” again. This doesn’t happen often, but it has happened more than once throughout my life. When I see people talk about plurality I feel a little confused because their identities often seem to have their own names and genders and ages and backstories, and it seems so cut-and-dry.

I know these are all things to discuss with my therapist but I love how you talk about your own experiences. How can you differentiate between DID and other kinds of dissociation?

Thank you for asking, anon! I'm glad you are going to talk to your therapist about it while also doing the reading and reaching out-- heaven knows our own journey within the US mental healthcare system was rocky at best. The latest chapter of Madison/Belladonna is heavily sourced from IRL circumstances both in receiving the diagnosis and the decades long journey in the mental healthcare system to get there.

But to answer more directly-- (as always we are answering from a psychopathology lens for care and treatment, we recognize the beauty of plurality and do not reduce ALL experiences to mental healthcare concerns, we are approaching our own situation and experiences this way as it is how we lived it)

Our journey was guided from the outside. Both therapists and our partner who was able to see these "mood swings" in us were able to gently guide us to water despite our fierce denial and rejection of our situation. What started as "we're fine" turned to "mood swings" turned to "BPD" turned to "---maybe we should read up on OSDD?" Turned to our current therapist telling us over a year ago that we had DID after months of testing and interviewing to determine.

I should also note I likely realized it MULTIPLE times in my history and buried it again and again. I legitimately think that people in my former life knew and either assumed I knew too or worse I had told them and forgot that I told them. It worries me because I cannot ever be certain. I once asked my ex-wife about it after the divorce/diagnosis and she did say it was weird how she had a "different husband" depending on environment and social group. She said she never noticed it during the interactions, but she would always think back and feel that the "me" in any given moment was different from the ones she observed in social/work situations etc.

So like--- even if people notice, sometimes they don't even realize what they're seeing. Honestly I go full No Mask at work even when a male part fronts and no one really bats an eye. I don't think *most* people are as observant as we worry they are.

ANYWAY! Looking back these are the signs that I ignored:

- I not just wrote a consistent journal through every phase of my life (even going as far as to have a "memory list" that I populated "when I felt like it" (<- IE: when a part that associated with the memory was fronting and wanted to type about it) and more importantly I READ it. Often. I sometimes think that the majority of our memories are just imagined versions of what we wrote. That notion is helped by the fact we [used to] stop journaling during times of crisis or delete journal/chat log to prevent us thinking about distressing things.

- I wrote a lot of plural characters in my stories since my teenage years. Kinda like I kept writing female versions of myself? Funny how the Trans and DID acceptance arcs are so dang similar.

- I would emotionally cave in on myself after gatherings, berating myself for how I had acted all evening. Getting deeply upset at how "out of control" I was. We outright AVOID mood altering substances like alcohol or weed.

- When talking about traumatic memories we typically just tell the story rote. It doesn't bother us. We told therapists without batting an eyelid. This is dissociation. We were disconnecting ourselves from our memories. Emotionally distancing ourselves from the experiences.

- In the same vein, when we remember things we imagine things in locations like a 3rd person camera. Not populated. We don't hear or feel or associate. It's just a place and a knowledge. Our whole "context packet" thing where we just understand something without *feeling* it.

- Deleted emails and chatlogs, references to things we don't remember. Discord messages with people we don't remember talking to. It bothers me how many people in our online communities we were actually close to at some stage of our life and then erased. This is specific to us but Dawn has opened many accounts in the hypnokink community and Camden has shut them down and this has happened so many times that we don't even get upset when we find a buried email from 2013 with sign-up to a Yahoo Email account we don't remember having. That sounds dramatic. It's more just. Go into your emails, pull stuff up from 5-10 years ago and just scroll a while. See how much you remember and associate into. It's NORMAL to forget what websites you were browsing a decade ago. It's not normal to have an entire *LIFE* you hid from yourself.

- Sometimes people just... saw/knew us before we did and there were times when they would describe a version of us they weren't supposed to see and we got complete dysphoria over it. Sometimes it as joyful. Someone we love saw Cammie well enough to say when we transitioned that they wanted to see that "windswept girl with the big smile" all of the time. Sometimes it's mortifying, like when someone approaches Camden as if she is Dawn and Camden REJECTED that side of us so heavily that it caused emotional meltdowns and turmoil because Camden didn't WANT to be a sexy confident domme, she could barely see herself as a woman, when people saw the wrong version of us *without permission* it was just a violation that made things WORSE.

- On that note-- meltdowns-- we mentioned the whole "after a social gathering we'd emotionally cave in on ourselves" thing, there was a lot of that. After work we'd get a complete drop from having to be in Manager Mode all day or we'd have a crisis after erotic intimacy encounters because we're sex repulsed ace. The fact is our nervous system was activated during those times, our survival instincts were kicked in and brought the part associated to the surface to DEAL and when they backed off our body was still reacting to the trauma trigger and it would cause us to implode.

All of these things in therapy brought us to the conclusion of BPD. Because therapists be like that at times. A *TRAUMA* therapist gave us some DES-II, MID and ACE tests and worked out what was going on within 3 months.

It took a further 6-9 months with constant support from loved ones who were able to see us as individuals to *ACCEPT* it. This is a denial disorder, it doesn't want to be found. Asking questions, being honest and being accepting is the best way to come to terms with it. I wish it were easier and I wish you luck and support in your journey. Our inbox is always open!

You're not alone <3

[imahinatjon]

CAN YOU WRITE A FYODOR X SUBORDINATE READER PLEASEEEeee THIS IS MY LIFE SUPPORT ISTGGGGG

I mean, Yeah.

I liked writing this one. Not sure I have the character down right quite yet, but I think I'm getting there.

Maybe?

"My role"

Fyodor x Subordinate Reader

"Why? Why can't i go?"

"Because"

"Just - I can handle myself! Please just... I want to be useful"

"You are"

Whenever a 'mission' or something came up in the decay of angels, you always, always asked Fyodor if you could go.

You're his subordinate, a member of "Rat's in the House of the Dead". Though, not your really an 'important' member. Not even an ability user.

Somehow you found yourself aligned with Fyodor's and the Rat's quite nicely, hence you chose to follow him. Unfortunately for you, you've found your time working under him quite fruitless.

You wanted to DO something.

But Fyodor wouldn't let you, and you hadn't the faintest clue why.

Fyodor had you working for him directly, instead of under someone else who'd have you going out playing lackey.

You were still kind of a lackey, but not one who got stuck with spending much time outside or away from your 'boss'.

And somehow you were useful?!

"I want to be useful"

Yeah... you've said that many times, and Fyodor will always tell you that

"You are"

Only once did you question this.

You asked him "but how am I useful? All I do is sit here keeping you company, I never do anything of any importance"

He merely sent you a glance and proceeded to ignore you.

Unbeknownst to you, he was thinking, deeply. A common occurance, but rarely was it a common occurance to be thinking so deeply about another person though. Still, it did not concern him much, and he allowed his mind to wander.

Fyodor was extremely aware that he sort of kept you locked in, controlled. He had you working directly for him, wouldn't let you go out on any missions, barely gave you any sort of work to do. Not because he didn't trust you (he doesn't by the way, but that's no slight against you)

Fyodor kept you indoors, essentially jobless purely because he was feeling a little selfish. He didn't want you going out into the world where anyone could do anything and you could end up anywhere in any state. He can't control everything outside.

He'd never tell you this of course, that could end badly.

He'd spent a lot of time with you, read with you, and then proceed to explain the book he was reading at the time to you. He enjoyed this as a pass time.

You were, of course, privy to his work, but at one point he started hiding more of it from you.

"It's nothing you need concern yourself with" He'd say, and that would be that.

Your biggest shock, and perhaps bighest hint to how Fyodor may have felt, was when a stranger dropped by. Fyodor was God knows where, and a tall man dressed in odd clothes dropped by, claiming to be your boss' best friend.

You could never imagine Fyodor being associated with someone of the like. Nikolai he said his name was. Decay of Angels. A name you overheard one night, when Fyodor was wide awake talking to someone on the phone. He presumed you to be asleep, didn't realise you had heard (at least, you don't think he realised)

Regardless the situation, the name that came from his lips told you that he was at the very least acquainted with Fyodor, so you let him in.

You offered tea, which he accepted, and sat on the chair opposite him. You assured him Fyodor would not be long - irregardless of whether it was true or not.

Fyodor didn't take long to get back, walking in and quickly shutting the door. A brief look of recognition grazed his face when he spotted who sat opposite you, then a neutral look, with a slight hint of sourness greeted Nikolai. He sat beside you, entirely natural as he spoke to Nikolai. You only interjected to ask once again about tea.

You left to go and brew the tea, allowing the two their hushed conversation. You figured it was important, and you, being essentially a henchman, did not need to know the details.

One thing did concern you however, a brief exchange towards the end of their conversation.

"So who is she supposed to be?"

"My future wife"

What? Wife? That was...odd? Fyodor didn't see you, or anyone for that matter in such a way. And if he did, well - he skipped a whole bunch of steps. You weren't dating him!

But it had you thinking.

He WAS slightly nicer to you than other people you had seen him talk to.

He DID spend a lot of time with you.

This WAS oddly domestic.

But you hadn't thought anything past that. He was your boss, and you couldn't go around having feelings for you boss, regardless of who your boss is.

But... you suppose, he IS attractive. You believe in his morals and goal - the one's he shared with you. And you always felt somewhat important with him, even if he never let you do anything.

Maybe?...

No, he's your boss.

But he did just say...

You didn't approach the subject with him.

Not until days later that is.

"Why can't I go?"

"Because"

"You never let me go..."

"..."

"Why?"

He didn't need to answer you. At least he didn't think he needed to.

"You said something strange the other day, to your friend, about me - what did you mean?"

"You heard? Of course you did, you do like listening in on conversations you shouldn't"

"What did you mean future wife?"

"It means what I said"

"But we aren't-"

He shushed you, a finger to your lips, urging you to remain silent.

"Regardless of your current feelings for me, whether they are present or not, our future is together"

"But your my boss...?"

"I have never been your boss"

...

"There has always been more to this than that"

The only affection you got from him aside from his words (which aren't really all that affectionate) was a pat on your hair and an unexpected, gentle kiss on the forehead before you could say anymore and he was to get back to..

What did he do again?

You supposed it wouldn't be so bad. You'd be lying if you said you didn't like his special form of affections, whitch only now did you finally recognised.

You liked him. And you'd come to love him eventually.

Consciously or not.

_________________________________________

Had no idea what kind of thing was being looked for. So I just went okay- romance, how would fyodor engage?

Honestly don't think he would. BUT if he did - I think he'd just like, announce things. Like you wouldn't know your dating until he just outright says "but we ARE dating"

Then again, I'm not entirely sure I know how to write this character well?

And I KNOW this took so long, the days have been busy 😪

I hope this was okay 🤞

Thank you for reading

[lopposting]

Hello Puppet pals + Romeo fans

would you like a fresh, fun new dose of pain tonight

On Romeo (long post)

So way back in april, in the taiwan event they showed some material from what looks like early builds of the game. this is the still i want to talk about today

It's gepetto (romanized to "zepeto" here) asking if we've "killed the beast".

In the released version, we meet him outside in rosa isabelle street after the KOP fight. It looks as though he's even beside the same lamppost. There's no other similar scene of us meeting gepetto like this, so it's likely referring to the puppet king. (When we meet him on the bridge, he's seen that the donkey has been killed, so we wouldn't need to lie.) but the thing is, this question is a YES OR NO ANSWER, meaning one or the other would be a lie.

So maybe in the early versions of the game it was actually possible align with/spare the puppet king (and by extension romeo) and then lie to Geppetto about it. (I mean, it's possible that it's simply just lying about not killing him to G, and we couldn't spare him to begin with)

I think they realized that they couldn't possibly make such a narratively important boss fight optional and that story-wise it wasn't linear enough to work. The story as a whole is not nearly as effective without his loss.

TLDR: I'm speculating that that image was from an early version of the game, and Romeo could've actually lived but the devs made the hard call against this.

[It's also possible that they just made that image for the purposes of presentation, and that it doesn't mean anything, or that it's another beast entirely.]

But still, somehow it makes it the more tragic. *stares blankly into space.*

(bonus fun notes below)

In this IGN interview before release, Director Choi dropped a big hint about romeo here.

"Yes, this is the king of puppets. And we want to call him a character and not a monster, because he will be the centre of the story. So if you play more and discover more about him, you'll find out more about what he is and who he is."

the puppet king being lampwick was also inadvertently leaked by IGN in this video:

I don't think people unfamiliar with the story would know anything, but pinoheads definitely would've and did recognize what "romeo" alluded to

They kept Romeo's ENTIRE EXISTENCE a secret up until launch. During the roughly two years of promotions before release there was never any mention of Romeo before release. Zip, Nada, so much so that the budding fanbase was starting to assume that he wouldn't even be in the game. NO ONE saw it coming when we found out who exactly we killed. Developers did consider that people who had read the book would catch on to particular things, so, bravo neowiz

And here's the other ingenious thing - they showed us the "Mad Donkey" boss early on in the demo and NOW I'm starting to wonder if this was a deliberate play. Almost everyone assumed this was already the game's iteration of Lampwick, so Romeo came as a surprise, and I think the proceeding story reveals about who the King of Puppets truly was were very effective.

also.. it's extremely cute what they did with the character. Of course, Romeo is the canonical name of Lampwick in Pinocchio, but the name "Romeo" is also probably the most heavily associated with Shakespeare's play Romeo and Juliet (which also takes place in Italy, as does Pinocchio!). And then we meet him in a theatre, and he puts on a play for us before we fight. Romeo supposedly had an affinity for acting, as Carlo did with the piano (I have heard this around on reddit, I don't know where this originates from, please lmk if you've seen these lore items). But most of all, Romeo and Juliet is a deeply remembered tragedy - like Lampwick in collodi's pinocchio. They are two young boys who didn't get away.

(maybe all of this was so obvious to everyone else but i love it still haha)

Fun to revisit this stuff after release with new clarity.

[To Reiterate - All of this is just my speculation]

[i-dreamed-i-had-a-son]

“because he never accepts that it's never been about righteousness--it's about repentance.” except javert killing himself IS repentance.

well, it’s like 12 different things, because bro had gone days without sleeping and very little food and water and he already had low self-worth and kept asking the amis to kill him and just assumed he was going to die AND THEN valjean upended his understanding of the world and morality. he was really going through it & there are a lot of overlapping reasons for why he jumps into the seine.

but javert is like Number One Most Responsible guy in the whole story. taking responsibility is his Thing (forever bitter the musical doesn’t include the punish me monsieur le maire scene). how else, in his derailment, could he atone for his conceived misdeeds other than by handing in his resignation to god? in the brick he had already left a note urging his superiors to treat convicts at toulon better, which is another step in his repentance (and another crime the musical commits by not including it). jumping into the seine was another step.

honestly a lot of ppl who like the book think the musical was dead wrong to exclude him from the big heaven group sing, because it COMPLETELY undermines the themes of forgiveness and compassion threaded throughout les mis. like the musical was simply wrong lol.

This is helpful context! I am still finishing the brick, although I have fully read the abridged version, and that detail about the letter wasn't included, so I didn't know that occurred! (And thank you for the message--this is a long response but I'd love to hear more of your thoughts!)

I agree that Javert is certainly deeply distraught and remorseful; like you mentioned, his worldview is literally falling apart, and his actions reflect his mental state. But his death isn't really repentance--in the sense that it's not what God would have wanted. To me it reads like a Judas situation: a desperate realization of a huge mistake, and doing the only thing you think can make it right, namely, ending it all. That's the just punishment for someone so wrong, isn't it?

But true repentance, meaning the repentance that the Lord desires, is about changing your ways, not "paying a price." Had Javert really understood the beauty of Valjean's mercy (an image of Christ's, just as the bishop's undeserved mercy was to Valjean himself), rather than killing himself, he would have lived to also become "an honest man"--in heart. One who could forgive and understand forgiveness, for himself as well as others. One who could recognize that he is not The Law, that he can fall, but that he can also be "brought to the light." One who could accept that men like Valjean, and men like himself, CAN change, and be changed.

It's tragic to me because so much of "Stars," and his character in the book as well as the musical, is about wanting to be righteous, to rise above his birth and the sinfulness he associates it with. It's about wanting to please the Lord by his actions. But in his end, he shows he never understood what God really wanted from him, and that's where my original phrase comes in: not righteousness, but repentance. To live, and face the man you were, knowing it's no longer the man you are. That it's never been about what you've done or can do, but about what's been done for you. That's the Gospel that he could never fully accept.

To use another example you mentioned, that misunderstanding drives why he asks the Mayor (Valjean) to punish him--in his worldview, mercy is unjust, or at the very least, unfair. Evil must be punished; "those who fall like Lucifer fell" receive "the sword." But "as it is written," God "desires mercy, not sacrifice" (Matthew 9:13). God would have wanted Javert to live, and Javert couldn't see that, and that's why it's devastating to me. In his misunderstanding of the heart of God, he misses what would have set him free from the chains of sin he's always been trying to escape.

That's why he's contrasted with Valjean, who (though he carries guilt about his past till the end of his life) is eventually able to face it and confess what he had done to those he loves. He knew there was mercy to be found, if only it was asked for. Javert was too blinded by pride and shame to realize it, and so, while broken, he never was able to truly repent.

For that, you must go on.

[closet-is-tired]

(Uhhh, spoilers for csm156 I guess)

Everyone and their dog had been debating who it is that's gonna break denji out...

And the common consensus is that it's either Asa/Yoru or Reze.

But I bring you something better...

BOTH OF THEM!

So here's my very serious analysis on why asarezeden might actually be the future!

Arms & shaped fish

The starfish thing has been brought up time and time again. and honestly, I see this moment being an odd but interesting piece of foreshadowing.

Fujimoto loves his parallels, and as of 156, both Asa and Denji have lost a limb from their right side. This could represent their "scales" of morality tipping further in one direction and them having to physically pay the price for it.

I also see the starfish as a bit of a symbol of resilience for Asa. Because currently, she may be the only character that hasn't completely lost it. And this could be cause of her more grey sense of morality. Another animal Asa is heavily associated with is birds. They're shown to haunt her dreams, and Yoru even initially appeared to Asa as a bird. I don't think it's a stretch of the imagination to say that birds are meant to represent freedom here. They are they devices that eventually lead to Asa having a further sense of self, freeing her from the societal constraints that kept her down in the past.

Foreshadowing?

I definitely see this as a defining moment for Yoru. Purely writing wise, it makes sense that this would be an important element to Yoru's character. When introducing new characters to an audience, a character's overall goals are pretty relevant to their place in the story. Yoru's biggest goal is to kill chainsaw man. Who's to say an element of this goal wouldn't include bringing back the nuclear weapons devil? After all, even at the current point of the story, there doesn't seem to be nearly enough fear around War to make Yoru feasibly strong enough to take down Pochita. (don't quote me on that, I'm not a powerscaler) So for her goal to include bringing back a past ally that had proven to be notable enough for Yoru to mention by name, wouldn't be particularly out of left field...

I also wouldn't put it past her to not know/realize the nuclear weapons and bomb devil are the same thing...

An additional point my friend brought up; Yoru may not actually be looking for Chainsaw man here, but the nuclear weapons(Bomb) devil. The likelihood of Reze still being alive but being imprisoned or otherwise under the control of public safety is relatively high. She's a hybrid after all, I don't think a single spear through the chest from Makima would be enough to kill her. So for Yoru to try and continue with her plans of killing Chainsaw man (in this case freeing her ally to help strengthen herself) while being in wider control of Asa's body could also be a possibility.

What's owed

Reze definitely has some guilt around Denji saving her. The cool act she tried to put on afterward was very shittly crafted. You can see the cracks in it as the scene moves forward, and Reze can't exactly keep a straight face. That guilt combined with her later realization that she genuinely did like Denji could make her more inclined to want to help him this time around.

I'd like to see their very opposite personalities clash. Especially now as Asa further learns to let down her emotional walls I think they could learn a lot from each other. I just feel that their dynamic could be so soo deeply interesting.

Also, Reze is seen to yearn for normalcy. She seems to genuinely enjoy the front of a slow-paced life she's put up pre meeting denji. And even in her last panels wishes she had gone to school and had a chance to live a normal life. Although I doubt her entrance into part 2 would be particularly "normal"... I can see her becoming attached to Asa because of her proximity to normality. Despite everything, Asa always seems to be somewhat grounded in reality, and I think that is at least partially because of her being "normal". Even as part two progressed, Asa has still held onto her humanity. And I think that's because her humanity is such a fundamental part of her character. Her "normal teen girl" problems are what lead her to die and become entagled in this in the first place. they’re what continues to bring her down to earth when she needs it.

So it feels natural for Reze to be attracted to Asa...

And her potentially helping Asa could also make a lot of sense...

The meaning of dreams

Denji very very clearly craves intimacy, which usually manifests itself in... not the best ways?

Especially now that Denji has actually experienced various forms of love, he is somewhat more capable of distinguishing the type of love he years for. And with Asa, Denji finally got the semblance of a "normal" romance no matter how awkward it actually was.

Something I find so interesting is the framing of these relationships. Fujimoto is known to constantly make references to movies, and although I haven't exactly gotten to the point of scoring through the pages for any crumb of a rom-com reference, I know a vibe when I sense one. It's so achingly clear that Denji's relationships with Asa and Reze are framed like rom-coms. (Also, his relationship with Makima is partially framed like this, but that's a can of worms I'm not quite ready to open... yet) They have all the elements for it, from meet-cutes to their dates to even their first kisses. The framing of it all is so so abundantly there!

Honestly, the fact that denji wants multiple girlfriends is made reference to on multiple occasions feels like a little much to avoid... it's brought up in some very non comedic moments, which makes me question if this may actually be foreshadowing. It could just be a manifestation of Denji's yearning for romantic love and affection? Or is it the foundations being laid for a future romantic resolution? Could Chainsaw Man be the first mainstream Shonen to end with thruple???

Will this all become invalid once the new chapter comes out?

Probably...

[rhythmic-idealist]

AFO and Second as foils:

This is all speculation, but keep your EYE on them, I think there's something there and I think there will be more.

In this post we're gonna tease out the difference between "using people as disposable lighters" and "killing was survival." Existing at a time where they had to come up with acceptable losses in order to survive, but Second was able to still ground what he was doing in kindness to someone, in saving someone.

Meanwhile I think everything AFO is doing is grounded in emotionally protecting himself. Like it has not actually worked, I'm sure the state of his emotional literacy is a complete garbage fire, but it's like—

"Well, nothing but me or Yoichi can matter. Yoichi's opinions on how Yoichi matters are inconvenient and hard for me, so I'm going to have to keep believing he's just foolish and mistaken until eventually I have to lean into being and enjoying being a cartoon supervillain"

His admiration of supervillains started WAY young, so obviously some of it was there from the start, but idk, I'm willing to bet what drew him to them was that they're the characters in the story who always seem unaffected, even gleeful. Especially considering the time he grew up in.

And how IS it that that's something so far distant from "killing was survival"?

Well, it's what distinguishes heroism, what ACTUALLY distinguishes it: save him first.

Now yes I could make an entire separate post about everything Stain gets wrong (he wants to die, he believes villains should die just as he believes bad heroes should die because he does not believe in people's capacity to change once they are too far gone, he does not care about people like Himiko Toga), but this thing is correct and played straight. Tenya Iida rolls it straight into his personal philosophy, and he brings it back in the JT arc with his announcement to the hero course that my priority is rescue, clearly framed as a triumph.

What makes a hero? Heroes must ground their fight in saving. It has to be about saving.

And one day, things will reach Izuku Midoriya's era. Deku will see the necessity of the hero who [tries to save] everyone, and Uravity will connect the pieces on the fact that we all need to become that hero.

It wasn't possible in Second's era, so Second chose what he could.

I think Second was deeply deeply messed up about the things he had to do in order to keep himself and other people alive. But I also think he kept asking himself why he did it, and kept investing in other people. There is a reason he understands "those who run alongside you."

And when Second introduces the notion of "those who will match your pace and run along side you," in that moment he means those who will STOP you when you need stopping.

There's a reason that that core Second belief is associated with what Iida is as a friend and a rival: Iida's entire philosophical rivalry with Midoriya is grounded in "neither one of us can make all the judgment calls alone, neither of us can make all the rules."

Sorry to bring Iida into it now, but Second sort of necessitates that for this analysis to make sense: The way Iida begins to stand back up and take heroic action is the advice "be the hero [your brother] would want you to be."

Iida was doing something for Tensei IN NAME, but it was based on Iida's own restlessness and putting his own emotions at ease. It was obviously something that it would be completely batshit to suggest Tensei wanted. The second he's confronted with that thought, instead of stuffing it into a very very distant little compartmentalized corner, Tenya knows that.

(Unlike AFO, Tenya also chooses to stand back up and do better this time. He chooses to take the critique, to understand that he was wrong despite how ridiculously harsh on himself Tenya is when he's wrong, and to dedicate himself to figuring out how to do better.)

Similarly, AFO takes actions in Yoichi's name, but they are, at every turn, entirely to soothe himself. They are never interested in what Yoichi wants from him. Investing in other people's answers when everything is already so hard is mandatory, but is difficult, and AFO chose the route that Second chose to rise above.

AFO had the opportunity to choose that too. There were people who, if he chose to do better, would have done the difficult work of running alongside him. I'm sure there was a long period of time when Yoichi would have— we watch Yoichi try to stop him with words, try to get him to do anything better, to at least stop this.

AFO was reacting to what it was to exist during his horrible, tumultuous time. And so was Second, and that's why I think foiling them is going to wind up essential to dig at the root of what makes AFO evil.

-

(Apologies that the picture wound up at no point being referenced in this post. Just to keep from confusing anyone, I'm gonna come out with it: that picture at the top is me finding the best AFO and Second panel I could to make this post look nice.)

[pristina-nomine]

so my knowledge about her is entirely limited to your posts, but may I request ophélie from la passe miroir for the character ask? 💌 very curious about this series!

Ah, I'm so happy that my posts got you curious about it ✨ (I’m also so sorry for the super late reply, but this week stuff just kept happening and I haven’t had a moment to write anything) Anyway! Thanks for allowing me to indulge in more obnoxious gushing u.u

Favorite thing about her: that she's devoid of any sentimentalism, even if the plot constantly puts her through super angsty scenarios. And that in her character arc of opening up to others and accepting the Mortifying Ordeal of Being Known, this part of her never really changes; she comes to realize that feelings are not necessarily melodramatic, that she can love and love deeply, but always in her own way

Least favorite thing about her: even though I really like the general theme of Thorn’s wounds running too deep to be magically cured by him falling for Ophélie, at times in tome 3 I did wish she wasn’t that accommodating to him. Which, again, is a fundamental point of her personal growth and objectively well done (and he’s like. very much accommodating to her as well), but there are a couple of specific scenes where it rubs me the wrong way a bit, can’t help it

Favorite line: Il n’avait pas le droit!!!! Character thesis statement. Iconique. Also, given that the whole series is her internal monologue, honorary mention to the resolve moment in the final paragraphs of tome 1

brOTP: so many to choose from, so I’ll go with: the scarf. Unironically one of my favorite characters.

OTP: Thorn, of course. I love that they’re one and the same obstinate communication disaster, that he realizes it almost immediately and does nothing at all to shy away from or hide his feelings, while she needs to go through her whole journey to understand and accept this new part of herself. Excited to read in which other way they’ll misunderstand each other in tome 4! (I’m not actually. Let them be content, at least for a while, please)

nOTP: given that Ophélie notp-ies herself with everyone aha I'd say Renard, Archibald, anyone of the dudes she forms a strong friendship with, basically (I’m not as opposed with the gals for some reason? But I’m also very monogamous with my ships, so still ain’t it)

Random headcanon: this may be more of a general lore thing because I also apply it to other characters, but the use of "of Anima" - ie the place she comes from - as a surname stand-in, Middle Ages style (mainly because I hate tagging characters with only their first name so I had to make something up aha)

(Wait, now that I think about it, they do use the Family Spirits names in the wedding ceremony... that's pretty much the canon equivalent of a surname... well, there goes my headcanon)

Unpopular opinion: welp, I don't even know what the popular opinions are, the fandom here is so minuscule aha. One thing may be that I'm very adamant about her being in her early twenties, or 19 at least? If she was a teen her uneasiness about romance/sexuality and frustration at feeling "half a woman" and "a child" simply wouldn't hit as hard

Song I associate with her: Alice's Theme by Danny Elfman!!

Favorite picture of her: this picture of an Edwardian young lady who looks precisely how I see her with my mind's eye, minus the scarf

Bonus: these stunning portraits by @fantasy-seal and Ilenia Pastore

[bestworstcase]

do you think there's any merit to a little prince-and-the-rose metaphor in which Spring is the rose and Ozpin is the prince? and including the poem, Raven is the one who "scatters the petals of the rose" (mercy kills the rose that couldn't protect itself)

the one killing the rose would be the sheep in any case (<- that sound you hear is me bodily wrestling the unhinged SHEEP SUMMER ROSE WHITE QUEEN tangent away from myself. some other time)

but no i’m not convinced there’s any configuration in which it’s sensible to interpret ozpin (or ozma) as the prince to anyone’s rose, if only for the obvious problem of him being jaded and symbolically blind. he is, of course, the stranded pilot to oscar’s prince (<- the prince’s childlike love and wonder clear the eyes of the weary man’s heart, reawakening him to the magic of the world; he’s the blind man lost and searching for his love in the wasteland twice over) and insofar as ozma could be retrofitted to the little prince given his alienness to remnant, the immediate problem that emerges is that salem would in that case have to be his rose and there is no plausible way to argue that because it’s nonsense. 

with ozpin and any maiden the core issue is that he… doesn’t love the maidens and certainly at no point does he seem to have taken care of them (indeed in the fairytale he made of the first four it is they who took care of him); they are, ultimately, quasi-replacement-daughters whom he weaponizes in his war with salem—deeply deeply cynical way to (not) handle his grief. he is retreading the final duel over and over again at global scale.

(if “dancing and fighting aren’t so different; two partners interlocked…” delivered in the gooiest tone ozpin has ever used doesn’t make you SCREAM LAUGH every time you hear it…)

summer is likewise thorny (snrk) in that there is no evidence to suggest ozpin was ever especially close to her or had any kind of parental bond with her (and the distrust evinced by her secret shenanigans with raven would suggest that she didn’t feel especially close to him, as would her decision to jump ship to salem’s cause—see also general jinjur).

generally my thinking as of now on the basis of what we glimpsed in V9 and the temporal dovetailing of spring running away / gretchen rainart dying as a student / raven having some unknown involvement in spring’s death for which she clearly feels guilty is that A) spring was in fact gretchen rainart and B) all of this is about her, and her death, and whatever the fuck happened when she and summer and raven and salem all collided that night. 

it is vaguely interesting to mark that there were four and all of them have significant associations with knowledge (salem: the only character who knows her secrets + hatred of deception + keen interest in the lamp; summer: silver eyes [truth will rise/revealed by mirrored eyes] + the mystery of her disappearance; raven: alludes to the woggle-bug + spy + became maiden of knowledge; gretchen: died as a student + probable spring maiden + symbol of ozpin’s deceit). so on the one hand, it seems… obvious that SOMETHING BIG came out that night; obvious, specifically, that salem decided to talk. the question is to whom and what her audience did with that information. it is also at least notionally possible, if the fourth person was spring, that they used the lamp’s first question (<- i do not think it likely however because ozpin kept her name a secret and habitually swore that the lamp had no questions left.)

on the other rwby doesn’t often pile up singular qualities like that; in the narrative sense it seems inevitable that this ended in calamity because… knowledge/knowledge/knowledge/knowledge is not a balanced configuration. but you know what is? salem offering knowledge, summer making a choice, and gretchen’s death making raven the new maiden: knowledge/choice/destruction/creation. 

everything adds up so strongly to summer joining salem that the missing piece does really feel like it’s actually… what happened to number four. gretchen or whoever else the spring maiden might have been. is it that raven mercy-killed the proverbial first rose of spring? the only things we know FOR SURE are that raven was involved enough to feel like the killer and that she was the one the spring maiden thought of; circumstantially, salem and/or summer were probably there too. tenuously, there is the possible parallelism with jaune and penny (in which case summer probably struck the killing blow, as the proto-cinder).

in… all of this ozpin is fairly irrelevant except insofar as he presumes summer to be dead and spring to be alive (but missing) and is wrong on both counts; which if put into the little prince framing would again make him the pilot, forever wondering and guessing. the prince seeks out the rose, one way or another; for summer that tracks with ruby as the prince, and if the last spring maiden is anyone’s rose—well, gretchen, hazel. obv. though i think that’s tentative at best and the presumptive broadening of allusion is generally not very speculatively sound (<- unless you’re me in V9 hitting 9.8 and going insane but THAT came down to rwby being unusually direct.)

and with the rainart twins there is the much more straightforward allusion to hansel and gretel; gretel outwits the witch, gretchen presumably did not (and in that case bequeathed the maiden of knowledge to a different twin who does outwit the witch—jot that down as another point in favor of summer being the proto-cinder who cut gretchen/spring down.)

rubs head

this is the problem with rwby really it’s too fucking well put together

[nerdby]

I both am deeply concerned for and deeply disgusted with the fanfiction authors on this site.

I love fanfiction especially Marvel and Loki fanfiction just in case the profile pic wasn't a dead giveaway. But while reading fics on this app, I've been noticing a very triggering trend which goes a little something like--

Avengers treats love interest like shit but the love interest forgives them as soon the Avenger confesses because they wanna be worshipped by them and be associated with the Avengers.

And like I knew there was something familiar about the plot, but I couldn't really figure out what it was until I roasted someone this morning for hating on Rob Pattinson for being in Twilight. Cause Rob loathes those movies and for very, very good reasons aside from the fact that Edward is a controlling, stalkery, manipulative dick who wants Bella to be a kept woman with no close friends other than his own family or people he's hand-selected from the vampire community, there is all kinds of cringe shit going on behind the scenes with the author of the series Stephanie Meyer.

Meyer is a self-proclaimed conservative Mormon who has bragged about never swearing or seeing an R-rated movie, and that makes me so sad for her. Cause aside from the fact that she is missing out on some of the greatest cinema of all time, it sounds like she has the personality of a literal twelve-year-old. Like Stephanie Meyer is stuck in a neverending LARP session where she roleplays as a puriteen influencer.

🤮

I'm referring to Mormonism as LARPing cause you are seriously delusional if you think that shit isn't a cult, and it only gets more disturbing there. Like all of the Twilight characters are named after people from her real life and the pedo-wolf love interest Jacob Black is named after

Stephanie Meyer's brother.

Fucking YIKES😬

But anyway getting back to the point, I finally realized that the fics I've been reading have all been ripping off the plot of Twilight. Especially the ones with Loki as a love interest cause for some reason the fic authors on this app all have degradation kinks and are desperate for Total Power Exchange relationship dynamics.

For those of you who aren't in the know, a Total Power Exchange dynamic is when a sub agrees to allow a Dom to control certain aspects or sometimes even all areas of their personal life. Basically, it's when you get off on having a controlling partner.

Edward and Bella have what could be considered a TPE dynamic except that the difference between their relationship and a real TPE dynamic is that Bella never consented to Edward controlling every aspect of her personal life. In BDSM the key to a healthy relationship is open and honest communication -- Safe, Sane, and Consensual, right? I mean, that's the key to every healthy relationship but it's especially important in BDSM because of the sadomasochism aspect. Some people take it a lot farther than just spanking.

And aside from the aforementioned issues this trend concerns me because Twilight came out when I was in high school, right, and I went through a serious Twihard phase. It's fucking embarrassing. It was also dangerous because not only do I have a super abusive mother who did not give a shit about what I did, I also had a whole bunch of undiagnosed mental health issues -- thanks, mom🙃 -- and ended up internalizing a lot of what I read in Twilight because I had zero media literacy because of said mental health issues.

So I ended up fetishizing abusive relationships, I got married way too young to an abusive asshole and had a string of abusive relationships after we divorced, I got raped, and ended alternating between couch surfing and homeless shelters for a while. And it was all because of Twilight.

And you could be like, "Well, it's not Stephanie Meyer's fault that your mom's a cunt and you were stupid." And you're right. I take responsibility for my own questionable taste, but there's also a little something called artistic integrity.

Artistic integrity is a personality trait kind of where an artist -- IE Stephanie Meyer -- gives a shit about their audience and the media they are putting out into the world. They aren't doing it for a cash grab -- they're doing it because they have a story to tell and a message to send. One that is important, culturally relevant, and asks important questions -- their work is political. It questions the social norm. These things, in my opinion, is what makes something art -- it separates art from trash.

Stephanie Meyer has no artistic integrity.

She didn't stop to wonder if readers like me or with issues similar to mine exist -- we do and, yeah, I'm kinda bitter about it. That is why Twilight is a problematic series -- that is why everyone from Robert Pattinson to Stephen motherfucking King has roasted that series to hell and back.

And I know someone out there is gonna be like, "Well, Rob said he lied all the time bac--"

Well, Robert fucking Pattinson is an actor and a damn good one.

And he wasn't lying when he said that Edward Cullen was a whiny, pathetic, suicidal virgin. Ya know how I know this -- because I read the books, for one thing, and for another I paid attention.

Like have all the Twihards out there suddenly forgotten when Edward tried to commit suicide by stepping out into the sun half-naked, so he could he trigger the Volturi into curb stomping his ass? Or when he straight up told Bella that he wouldn't fuck her until AFTER they were married cause there was just one rule that he wanted to leave unbroken?

It was in the movies, so if reading is too hard for you there ya go.

And, yeah, I'm triggered right now and no, I'm not sorry cause if you are knowingly ripping off the plot to Twilight to use for Marvel fanfiction and give absolutely ZERO shits about your readers' mental health you are a shit person. I don't care. I'm not sorry and that brings me to the part that is most concerning about this situation.

I know that there are other ND and mentally ill users on Tumblr. I know that some of them have the same issues I had growing up because of lack of access to mental healthcare. That means that some of these authors are doing this subconsciously: Some of them aren't even aware that they're copying Twilight or why it's wrong or why they need to be concerned about having artistic integrity. And to you guys, I am truly so so sorry and I really hope you are able to get some sort of help or at least talk to someone about this.

But the rest of ya -- the ones who truly do not give a shit that I know exist because this app is crawling with TERFs, radfems, and tradwives -- that movement was popularized by white supremacists by the way. Look it up. And those people are abusive, self-obsessed cunts with a perpetual victim complex that don't care who they hurt cause they will always, always, always try to blame someone else for their actions.

You guys -- the abusers that decided to basically plagiarize Twilight to boost your reblog numbers for your fanfics -- are shitty people.

[sweetestpopcorn]

Do you mind telling us your opinion on what astrological signs the Blacks are?

Hi there! 🤗

Sorry for this delay and may I say that your ask was so polite! I am almost not used to this!

Omg I love this ask! And can I say I am not an expert on signs but I get curious and binge watch youtube so XD let's do this.

Easiest one first.

Daemon Targaryen - Scorpio. I mean... is there ANY doubt?!

The sign most associated with sex. Dark. Mysterious. Easy to anger and slow to forgive (if ever). Vengeful. Relentless desire for control. Manipulative. Ambitious. Enticing. Someone who almost never opens open and hides away their feelings. 

I think Daemon is almost a perfect personification of what a scorpio is hitting all the major points. 

BUT I would add that he is a Scorpio with Sagittarius rising as a reader I had who knows MUCH more about signs than I once told me she was sure he had this combo, and that this was the hottest combo for the gentlemen, so yeah. I can see it as Daemon did seem to be fun-loving, party-boy, and outspoken. And the Sagittarius I have met in life do NOT back down from a fight! Imagine someone with this Scorpio-Sagittarius combo in a fight... Yep. That’s Daemon.

Rhaenyra Targaryen - Taurus. No doubts there.

Very stubborn. Demanding. Prone to anger. They like pleasure and the fine things in life, like to live a comfortable life. Resilient. Devoted to those they love. Jealous and possessive. Like to be pampered. 

While Scorpio is the most sexual sign of the zodiac, Taurus is the most sensual sign. And there’s little surprise that these two form one of the most explosive combos of the zodiac, and supposedly they are the hottest of all the zodiac combos. Complementary opposites. I think this pretty much sums up Daemon and Rhaenyra -> very similar in some things and opposites in others. 

Rhaenys Targaryen - it’s actually canon she is a Cancer because we do get her name day. So this just makes my job easier and yes I do think she has many of the Cancer traits. Does not back down from a fight. Cares deeply about family. 

Corlys Velaryon - Leo. I did struggle with what sign I should give the Sea Snake, and for a long time I thought something like Sagittarius because of how adventurous he was, but in the end I think he screams Leo. He’s super charismatic, proud, major main character vibes. I mean it’s said the only woman good enough for him was Rhaenys Targaryen so like... 

Corlys:

Jace “Velaryon” - Sagittarius

We know he was born later in the year so it’s really between Sagittarius and Capricorn. I choose Sagittarius, however, because of how good with people Jace was. He easily inspired loyalty, was charismatic, independent, and took initiative. 

Luke “Velaryon” - Capricorn

He was also born late in the year and him and Jace need at the very least like 10 months between them?! Let me have a year please XD. Please XD for my sanity. 

So I was actually torn between Capricorn and Sagittarius with Luke, but his seriousness and how he kept his word instead of beating Aemond -> any proper Sagittarius would have taken him up on his offer of a showdown I think XD like these people do NOT mess around, they are a fire sign - make me say Capricorn. 

Joffrey “Velaryon” - Aries

I am going to say Aries because of how hot-tempered and bold he was. He acted first and thought later -> as he did during the storming of the Dragonpit - and showed enormous bravery. 

Aegon III Targaryen - Capricorn 

Luckily this is canon too so less work for me as we know our God and Saviour was born at the end of the year, like last days. And this is the sign of divine people btw. 

Viserys II - Aquarius 

The sign of so many incredibly smart people - I mean Darwin was an Aquarius! Duh! Analytical, detached... plus I love the idea of the best boys being the Ice Kings. Just making others uncomfortable with their silence and then giving them the verbal beatdown of the century. Btw I think this sign would fit Daemon’s boys very well. I mean... imagine taking on a scorpio an Aquarius and a capricorn... it’s like... call the police. 

Baela and Rhaena - Thank GOD these two were twins since this means less work for me XD. Gemini. This is not me just being funny and obvious. I think these two do fit well with being Geminis. They just seem to have a way with people, they exuded energy and positivity wherever they went, and Baela does show she was NOT to be messed with as anyone who knows a Gemini knows it’s better to be on their good side. 

That’s all! ☺️ and again sorry for my delay!

[emmacreatures]

A HEAVY START

OKAY. SO. Despite me and Nina literally made this ship earlier today, my brain did a BRRRR and went bonkers since I'm just extremely inspired and so happy to have nina in my life. This story starts off very gently, but well. Warning, it will take a big turn.

I cant tell yet how canon things will be, since we just made them, so I always need some experimenting and such! So IF I ANNOUNCE NEW SHIT, dont be surprised if it changes slightly through time, but despite all I'm nervous yet excited to hear what you guys think aaaa i literally wrote this in like.. 3 hours hoppla ENJOY! Featuring two new characters, called with their LAST NAMES!!! Muller and curran! __________

Everyone was just doing their thing at Bridgehead. Muller had been told to keep track of most developing recom bodies, as he was specialized in genetics. Though it didnt stop the man to go through more since he was one of tbe more specialized all 'inclusive' scientists at the RDA. His looks may seem innocent, but the man's mind was able to do more than just work on one part of their whole operation. He used to work beautifully along Grace, for they both had the beautiful passion for the Na'vi, and all living things.. But unlike Grace, Muller had a rather innocent look, so he at times got tossed around a bit, being asked to do various things which he did not mind.. In fact, he met alot of people because of that.. Something that at this day left a sour wound.

It was a big 'getting used to' for the man, when he was being brought back as a recom. He remembered waking up, as it felt like a dream at first.. He couldn't believe his own sight, and didnt remember anything when he started to slowly build up the fact he was a Na'vi now. He almost wanted to do tests on himself, as he was so mesmerized by the fact his DNA was now mixed with that of the native's... But the happiness was cut short, for his reality was slowly haunting him. It was like someone put a mental wall up in his brain. The more he scratched upon that wall, the more he rememberd from a past life. Memories they'd call it. But he started to feel it was becoming a slight nightmare. It wasnt his marvelous intelligence that bugged him.. It was the mere rather deeper emotions with attachments coming loose.

Through the months of being a Na'vi, he was asked a lot of things. He missed grace, for she kept a nice pace and control around the RDA, as they matched up well with energy, but he managed well on his own. His energy with the RDA didnt match so well.. So he tried to still be independant, and have his own corner to do what they asked of them. Originally he was put with the recom squad, to come along and explain them about pandora when they were developing to understand the na'vi ways especially, since like grace, he knew all about it. But slowly, Quaritch noticed the man becoming hesitant, as if something deeply put him on the breaks.. So for now, ardmore, after talking with quaritch about it, decided to keep the man at bay, and allow him to work in the labs for it seemed the best that way.

In those few months, alot of exciting things seemed to develop. Quaritch and his squad managed to catch one of the two natives of the Omatikayan.. In which another tried to come to rescue them, ending up with two. Something they could definitely use. One of them seemed rather difficult to handle, picking fights with specific recoms who originally lured them out.. But the other, was rather adjusted to the surroundings despite humans didnt seem to like the idea to have a native around. Since bridgehead was so extremely huge.. Muller hears about the 'rumors' of having a native on their side.. His eager and soft energy certainly wanted to have a chance if ever, to talk to him. He had so many questions.. Things he loved to ask. Despite he was a na'vi himself, he still had the biggest fascination to the natives.. Even if some of them, didnt like their association with them. He didnt know, or couldnt know, for he was just minding his business, gently checking half of the tubes full of the new recom units.. "All is stable." he softly said, smiling as he checked everything before heading back to his own lab. He got quite the space which he appreciated, but in the back of his head, he still felt a certain unknown.. Emptyness he couldnt quite figure just yet.

Being nearby his own lab, he wanted to hand out some data to some of the humans he had to work with, eventually seeing the native he heard about.. Out of pure fascination and admiration, he gently approached him.. He seemed to just look at some of the bigger screens. "Gosh.. Hi- I'm so sorry." Muller said in actual Na'vi.. Smiling. "You're a real.. Omatikayan.. Right. you must be Ka'am? If I'm not mistaken?" Muller gently asked, almost holding his hands together to see the rather warrior typed man turn to him. The beads in his mohawk like way of having his hair tied made a heavy noise.. Turning to him. For Ka'am looked at a rather excited scientist just from having a look at him. "you're from neytiri's family? i've heard rumors you were around but..-" Muller kept on talking in fluent na'vi, making Ka'am, who now had fully turned to the man instead of just his head.. Frown while responding in Na'vi. "i've not heard people speak about me" "OH nothing bad. I'm just, very honored to meet you. I see you" muller kept speaking in Na'vi, softly making the gesture from his head to show out of respect he saw Ka'am. Making the native tilt his head, as he looked down at the innocent looking scientist. Ka'am was taller than the man, and he seemed respectful.. Truly. "You are aware I can speak your language too right" Ka'am said serious, changing to english for Muller just had a soft "woah.." before harrumping. "I just felt like it was more fair to speak your language, since this is technically your territory." Muller said gently for, he invited Ka'am to his lab if he wanted, also because he just loved to see a full powerful native so closeby without wanting to kill him, which he would even understand.

Since Ka'am was quite looked at from the humans at this point, having a more respectful approach like Muller seemed better for his day. "I rather not be associated with them if you wouldnt mind by all means" Ka'am then said, for Muller frowned. "Associated with..?" "My family." "Oh- I- I'll note it down. I'm sorry if I-" Muller wanted to deeply apologize despite he certainly grew curiosity on why, but seeing Ka'am just make a gesture with his hand to say 'no need to continue' on his apologies.. For Muller understood right away. "So.. Were you looking for anything specific? I saw you try and figure your way, these things can be a hassle, even for me" Muller said kind, having noticed Ka'am was slightly searching for something. Ka'am could certainly tell the man was intelligent, on how he could read ka'am's intentions.. But since he really wasnt trying to get into Ka'am's business, he felt like Muller could actually help him. "I was.. Or well. do me a favor.. Can you look up old.. I believe they're recordings or field recordings. Quaritch wanted some, and since he's busy-" "So considerate- Let me actually see if I can get into it.. Since I'm just a .. Scientist. Not really like security or stuff like that" Muller said as he really was as innocent as he sounded. He wasn't JUST a scientist, but the man never bragged and was honest.. Sometimes he might even belittle himself on accident.. The man was never too kind though.. He knew where to stand his ground, but with Ka'am, he was just so fascinated, trying to help the best way. He was so impressed by the natives, and Ka'am was certainly a lovely example in his eyes. Perhaps even slightly scary to some, which Muller respected completely.

He gently put his card through the computer, seeing he in fact did have access. "Ah, there you go. I'll leave you to it" The man said as he gently sat down at a different desk near it, hearing Ka'am lean forward with his arms on the desk, watching the screens as the the braid from Ka'am, falling over his own shoulder to the front, made a noise that you could just hear was quite heavy. For some odd reason it made Muller smile. He loved having a native near, it just fueled his nerdy hype about the reason be became a scientist. The rather big smile almost on Muller's face took Ka'am's attention.. It wasnt like.. A fascination to his body or such, just the mere fact he was around. He turned to Muller once, for the man wanted to explain himself the second Ka'am did. "Must be heavy right? All those intricate beads.. with their possible traditions and stories" Muller said for Ka'am stood more straight instead of watching the screens. "It almost sounds you've never seen one like myself this close have you..?" The man said with a frown, for his voice was definitely lower than that of Muller. "Must be obvious right.. Indeed I havent. You caught me there. I apologize for it. Well, We've seen your kind from afar, let alone.. One that speaks to you, even in english, though I wouldnt mind to switch to Na'vi again" Muller said for Ka'am just nodded once.

"Quaritch isnt so fluent in Na'vi, so I might as well at times speak your language when its possible." Ka'am said rather serious, before Ka'am actually found something on the security footage after some searching. Something Quaritch most likely needed. "This. How can I obtain this" "Oh on a USB or? I can do that for you" Muller said as he stood up, putting it into the system that Ka'am was going through, putting the specific bit without checking what it was onto it. "That should do it.. Anything else you might need?" Muller was so helpful.. As at moments like this, infront of Ka'am for the first time, he almost forgot he was a na'vi himself. It was still something to get used to.

Ka'am noticed the genuine help.. But as the man helped him. He just never wanted to owe someone anything.. Being a loner and tricky man like he was. He just never wanted to have strings attached.. So having noticed the man's pure nerdy behavior which was what the humans called it.. Ka'am thought of a perfect solution..

"here. May this fill your fascination that you have for our kind" Ka'am said rather serious than thankful.. putting a very special carved bead onto the table they were standing at.. Making Muller who softly took it.. Just gasp. The bead was from hometree.. as Ka'am was slowly pushing himself further away from his original roots due to complications, it seemed like a win win So.. Now he was standing even.

"Are you serious... This is a bead from hometree. You get to make these when you- suceed within your tribe with a greater good" Muller said for Ka'am certainly was surprised but didnt show it. This man definitely knew alot. But hearing the man be so happy with it, he just nodded once in a 'just take it. and dont bother me about it' before he left, leaving Muller so excited about it.. "I gotta sample this in the lab later.." He whispered, before softly putting it into the pocket of his pants, slowly realizing that surprisingly along all this, he seemed to have access to much more than he originally thought with his RDA card that he always had with him.. He realized he might be able to dig into more stuff if he wanted to.. and as innocent as the man seemed, that dark empty hole he kept on feeling whether it was in his chest or head.. started munching more upon his curiosity. The mental wall was slowly breaking after months, and this sudden realization might grow worse

Muller was always rather fast with delivering what everyone asked. As mentioned before he was one of the best scientists around while people felt like he didnt live up to that title when it came to his looks.. But the man had brains and was a complex and well developed human who now was a na'vi. Brought back by the RDA. He knew something bad should've happened after a few weeks, but it seemed it was almost normal that everyone came back.. So, maybe his 'older' self.. would still be around, despite not having seen it yet

For he was done doing what he was asked to, muller's curiosity finally bit the bullet.. Sliding his card through the monitor to eventually start digging deeper into the system. After alot of trouble he ended up within the older files of their place before bridgehead was a thing.. Remembering a slight piece of it in the back of his mind. He rememberd selfridge.. A dirty asshole who never showed mercy, and he rememberd everyone he worked with before, including closer contacts he met along the way. Sighing as he went deeper and deeper into thr system, being alone in his lab, he frowned as he seemed to have found 'doctor muller. Confidental' files.. Without much hesitation he clicked on them, noticing a complex password was upon his files. Like said, he wasnt stupid. but now what.. What would he possibly have done as a password. It took a few tries even for him, and as a clone it was already complex enough.. But finally, he cracked it, seeing a lot of recordings of the first days..

He watched some of them, remembering it now, much clearer in his head. Being excited about plants, and hearing the avatar program Grace started was slowly becoming reality. Muller in the day was a young man, who was overly excited when he heard he was allowed to come to pandora to contribute with his intelligence. The second grace and him met, it was like a perfect match. Norm was fantastic too, but Muller ended up being more in the background, doing a lot of genetic research on the avatar bodies. Digging deeper into the DNA of things. The videos started off like a beautiful memory lane, even some videos where some squad members entered, asking how Muller was doing.. One in particular.. As the sudden connection was made in his brain. A happy little push, which made Muller smile for a second.. but as he went down and down.. Some videos, he couldnt remember. The aura was dark from the preview videos, but he did decide to click on one of the last ones, seeing right after most files were broken.

"This is day 799.. It seems Jake sully tried to convince them to leave. Everything is chaos right now. I dont know what he wants to do.. They're asking us to do horrible things. But selfridge and everyone else is doing the worst of things. They made hometree fall.. They killed it.. They put down grace's lab completely. At this rate I dont know what will happen. I dont know if I can do what they're asking of me.. Its not what I signed up for, but I dont want trouble either.".

Muller stopped the video there, closing it as he felt like it was getting worse.

"Day 805.. Just a few days apart, but its war.. I dont even blame the natives. They killed everything. This is not what I signed up for. The RDA, they're reckless.. I cant seem to see enough of whose behind this, but all we know is that most are prepared to fight, while me and the rest.. We want to leave the natives alone.. Unoptanium cannot be the reason we're doing this.. I.." Muller sighed so deeply on the video.. Seeing the human version of himself was odd too.. But he didnt know it could go worse from here..

"Day 806.." muller heard the audio.. He heard his own human version, sniffing from crying.. It was wrecking his stomach. "I dont know if this will ever reach the systems. The whole unit is collapsing.. I dont know if I will make it out alive myself, but you might ask yourselves while I'm here." The tone of his voice, was making Muller shiver, not touching the screens anymore as he let it go. "Curran.. Protected me.. From all chaos a few hours ago.. And now, here we are.. He passed away in my arms. I saw him die, right infront of me. And you know whats the worse part. I'm here, risking my life to do what you filfty bastards asked me to." Muller said as the anger he never showed popped up, his eyes full of tears on the video.

"If you are smart and if you ever see this, all of you, from the RDA.. You better not bring me back if I dont survive this.. As the chances of me surving alone here are small from the looks of it, but I have nothing to loose anymore, nothing to moarn over anymore as all you did was break me and...." Muller on the video couldnt even finish his sentence anymore, mentioning how the love of his life died in his arms was already too much.. "Unless you cold, horrendous people dare to pull me back. I never signed up for this when I was brought to pandora, for you all to murder them like.. A pest purely for your own good and money. I know I never seem threatening, and it might look like an easy game for you guys.. But i'm so.." Muller said on the video as the tears flew down his cheeks.. The heartache was unbearable.. "I dont want to be a part of this.. My life is nothing without him.." Muller said as he laughed once with the tears in his eyes. "Its almost funny.. To think the RDA, made me meet Curran in the first place which supposedly, was one of the best things that happened to me.. And now, you.. Make me end up erasing his mind because I was threatened to, right?" Muller said as his tears in video kept on flowing again. "If I didnt do it, you guys would.. so no win for me I suppose" Muller said defeated, swallowing. "you all dared me to take away that core memory.. so he can be a weapon for your new plan as this one failed.. Can you even sympathize with what I just described.. well. Of course not. Since you all have turned into killers, with no mercy. Having control over us all" Muller said as his crying made talking difficult. "Goodluck with that. I really hope, for you all, that you will not throw me back into this hellpit, as a recom" the man said almost threatening, hearing more of the building break apart.. As soon as he had sent off the DNA sample a second before.. "Its done.. Its sent off. So it might as well be done for me too." Muller said as he wanted to predict his own fate almost, before hearing more and more of the building collapse.. Muller watched his own human self, still try and get out of the mess, but before it completelt collapsed, the video broke and stopped recording.

Muller felt all his flashbacks occur in the back of his mind. Everything came back.. Every single detail that was captured in his DNA for the recom project. Popped up. It was taken before the huge accident he just watched, but seeing it all.. Was the last drop for him. He was frozen, he felt and heard the pain his human version already was going through. He rememberd Curran, of the most expertise Units he ever met.. He rememberd how they met, how they got along, how they fell in love.. and worst of all, now how he lost him. The realization hit him as well, that there was a chance Curran would be brought back as a recom, as the RDA asked him? as sickening as possible, to adjust his DNA sample with his memories, to have no hiccups. No emotional interuptions.. He rememberd it all now.. He rememberd the most difficult conversation he ever had in life.. How they were planning to make the recom program. But also knew about the relation Muller had to the incredible squad part that Curran was..

"We dont care what you think.. Emotional influences like that can make a soldier fall.. So whats the use if we would bring them back in such a state. Its misleading. If you wont take it out of his system Muller before sending it off to the recom system to have it imprinted on him, then we will. Its either you, or us"....

The sentences echoed in his brain.. Muller slowly stood up from the table after closing all tabs, making sure they were gone, before falling on his butt on the ground, holding himself as he was shivering.. Tears flew down his cheeks, as he couldnt make a noise, he was so frozen, as his emotions were all over. Muller held his own head after a while, unable to get a grip on himself for it all hit him too badly.. Worst part was that he knew about the conversation all too well, he remembered it now, but to have figured the two eventually died most likely since he could hear and see the building was about to collapse when Muller was still there.. Still trying to make it, in which Curran died for Muller to protect him.. Was something his heart couldnt bear.

The chances were there.. That Curran could eventually be part of the recom group, meaning if they'd ever come across each other, it would be a man.. That wouldnt have a single clue about Muller. Everything they experienced, build up.. Was gone, and out of all people, muller had to take it away from him..

Muller sat there for the longest of time, his own glasses had fallen off as he had sunken his own head into his arms that he held himself with at last.. Trying to give it a spot, but it was so hard to bear. Though as powerful as the man was, after a few hours, he managed to slowly push himself up, as his tail was wrapped around him.. Trying to breathe. He almost felt out of spite, the RDA brought him back.. It was definitely something Muller wanted to talk about eventually if he got himself a bit back together, but he just experienced his whole life in a few minutes. The emptyness now made sense.. for Curran wasnt in his life anymore, as so it seemed. He was just another scientist nessesairy for their things.. But Muller was not agreeing with it. He didnt dare to check the lists of Recoms anymore at this point.. He hadnt seen curran anywhere, so maybe.. just maybe it would give him a break for a bit. "Its.. Its late Muller.. You need to.. Sleep." He said to himself to calm down, despite it felt impossible.. He would eventually try and argue with the RDA, but for now, he needed some time for himself. He knew picking up work was the best he could do first thing tomorrow morning.. but this would definitely need time to process. The man was very smart, abd despite this was tough for him to do.. he knew trying to continue his 'new life' would've been the best to do.. so he tried that, despite his emotions at times like waves and flashbacks would sit him wrong.. Of course he didnt want to forget about curran.. He was everything that he could wish for.. But it was tough to hear whatbhappened.. but that wouldnt stop the man from working and possibly doing things he did want to do.. whats the worst that could happen now?...

[mask131]

Deadly fall: The Grim Reaper

THE GRIM REAPER

Category: World culture / World mythologies

Everybody knows that, when it comes time to personify or embody the concept of Death in fiction, the Grim Reaper appears. Everybody knows what the Grim Reaper looks like: a skeleton dressed in a black robe or cloak with a hood, wielding a scythe, coming to collect the soul of a deceased or to “cut” the life of a person to cause their death.

But while this image is considered to be “universal” today, it wasn’t always the case. In fact, the very concept and idea of a Grim Reaper was conceived in England! In Europe, death as a concept and manifestation was always represented in art through skeletons. Moving, animated skeletons – even dancing skeletons in the case of the “Danse Macabre” motives. These skeletons were often draped in shrouds (which later caused the “white sheets” of the ghosts), but due to black being a color more associated with death, soon the embodiment of death came to be seen as wearing capes or cloaks of this color. Death in particular was VERY personified in England, where he was a traditional character of morality plays as well as of folk songs – but then, Death was only known as “Death”, nothing else. We would have to wait for 1847 and “The Circle of Human Life” for the term “grim reaper” to appear, describing dying as “meeting the grim reaper with his scythe”. Later, the expression became so popular it evolved into the “proper name” of the character, Grim Reaper.

Why a scythe, you might ask? Well originally speaking, it all dates back to Greek mythology. There is the characters of Kronos, the king of Titans and father of Zeus, who was depicted as holding a scythe – he had used it to emasculate his own father (long story). Kronos was turned by the Romans into Saturn, a god of agriculture and fertility, and the scythe symbol was kept. Already depicted as an old man, to show the “ancientness” of this deity, there also came to be a confusion between “Kronos” (the god’s name) and “Chronos”, which is the Greek word for time – this resulted in the well-known figure today of “Father Time”. Kronos devouring his own children to avoid being overtaken was completely counter-interpreted as “Time devouring all” and “Time destroying youth”. And soon, due to a displacement between Time and Death, the scythe of Kronos/Saturn was given to Death, who “reaps” the human souls when they are about to die the same way a reaper reaps the crops once the harvest is ready to be taken. But before the scythe was settled as THE weapon of death, many other instruments and tools were used: you can see medieval depictions of Death showing him wielding swords, spears or pitchforks.

I say “he” because the English language and tradition masculinized Death, something that Germany also did – but it should be remembered that in Latin-speaking countries of Europe, such as France, Spain and Italy, “death” is a female word, and by extension could often be depicted as a female entity. A last inspiration for the formation of the Grim Reaper figure should be mentioned: the Bible. More precisely the Book of Revelation (The Apocalypse). When describing the four horsemen of the Apocalypse, the last one is said to “ride a pale horseman”, and that his name is “Death”. This image of Death as a pale horseman struck DEEPLY popular imagination, which explains why Death is now often seen as a “pale rider”, or as riding a white horse. But again, it is a bit of a twist – as the “pale” of the original text did not mean “white” like people think today, but rather it designated a greenish color, “chloros”, a bit yellow on the side, meant to evoke the color of rot and of a corpse’ putrefaction. The name however was correctly translated as the text says the rider’s name was “Thanatos”, which is the Greek word for Death (as well as the name of their own death god), and the Biblical text even hit the nail even more by adding “and Hades followed him”. It is usually translated as “and Hell followed him”, but “Hades” in Greek was a more neutral word who simply designated the underworld and afterlife in a general way – and even could be used figuratively to talk about a tomb or a grave.

Once the picture of the scythe-wielding skeleton was settled, it quickly spread to the rest of Europe, often replacing local death incarnations.

For example, in Scandinavia the traditional Grim Reaper replaced “Pesta”, a supernatural hag in black hood embodying the plague (she was a death entity that was created during the times of the Black Plague). A descendant of the Norse goddess Hel, Pesta was said to wander into towns with either a broom or a rake, to collect the souls of her victims: if she had a rake, some people in the town would survive, like leaves escaping a rake; but if she had a broom, she would forget and spare no one. But when the Grim Reaper arrived, poor old Pesta was quickly forgotten: in fact, it is from Scandinavia that came to us one of the most memorable and influential depictions of Death on a cinema screen. “The Seventh Seal”, the Swedish film by Bergman. Lithuanians also had their own female incarnation of death replaced by the traditional Grim Reaper: they had the goddess Giltine, an ugly old woman with a long blue nose and a tongue covered with a deadly poison. Interestingly, according to their myth, she used to be a pretty young goddess, and a very pleasant person, but spending seven years locked in a coffin turned her into the monster she is today: meanwhile her sister, Laima, kept her charm, beauty and pleasantness – and she was the goddess of life, destiny, childbirth, marriage and luck.

Of course, while the Grim Reaper figure spread everywhere, it still has numerous local variations (it is Europe after all).

For example, in the French region of Bretagne there is the Ankou (see my posts about him). In Poland, the Grim Reaper is dressed in white, not black, and given their word for death is female (“smierc”), he tends to be a she, a skeletal old woman. In the Netherlands, Death is known as “Magere Hein” (Meager Hein) or “Pietje de Dood” (Peter the Death). And in many European countries, one will note that the behavior of Death or the names given to Death will correspond to those attributed to the devil – as often the fear and hatred of death led people to fuse together or confuse the figure of the devil and the one of the grim reaper.

- - - - - - - - - -

A fascinating study of the “Grim Reaper figures” would be the one of Death in Latin America. They have here a very rich series of cultures with very unique interpretations mixing the traditional Grim Reaper imagery with Christian religion. Three main entities come to my mind, all “folk saints” (saints that are not recognized by the Church in any way, but that exist in popular worship and in folklore):

# San Pascualito in Guatemala. The “King of the Graveyard” as he is called, San Pascualito Muerte appears as a skeleton in robes, or a skeleton wearing a crown, often with a scythe. A distortion of the cult of the actual saint known as Paschal Baylon, beyond a cult of death he is invoked and prayed to cure diseases and appease epidemics. His feast day is said to be the 17th of May, and he is usually given candles of different colors depending on what you ask him for (red for love, pink for health ; dark blue for work, light blue for money ; black for revenge, white for protecting children, etc…)

# San La Muerte. Mostly worshiped in Paraguy, with also a presence in north-eastern Argentine and southern Brazil (plus Buenos Aires). “Saint Death” appears as a skeleton with a hooded cloak (usually black and red) wielding a scythe (with sometimes blood on the blade), and is sometimes called “Señor de la Muerte” or Señor de la Buena Muerte, even “San Esqueleto” (Saint Skeleton). Like the previous saint, in exchange for prayers and offerings (one’s own blood, alcohol or precious objects) San La Muerte offers a variety of services : restore love, fortune or health, protect from witchcraft and remove the evil eye, offer good luck when gambling… But unlike San Pascualito, San La Muerte also has an active cult in prisons due to the saint also offering favors related to crime and violence: he can avoid one going to prison, shorten prison sentences, or cause the death of an enemy. Often invoked by brujas (witches) and curanderos (folk healers), San La Muerte’s feast day is the 15th of August.

A very “pagan” element of San La Muerte cult is the fact that the statues of his are the center of said cult, and treated as physical manifestations of the saint. They are consecrated by Catholic priest seven times to become “true” incarnations of the San (and since the Church disapproves and reject San La Muerte, people tend to hide the statue under the image of another saint to get the blessing anyway). These statues are kept on altars and “fed” with the offerings – families usually keep them hidden in their household for the San to bring protection over their families. When someone is favored by the San, they can pass on their protection to another person by giving them their statue of San La Muerte. It is also believed that if the statue is made of special materials, it will be more “powerful”: thus you have San La Muerte statues made out of baby bones, of Christian man bones, of coffin woods, carved in the crucifix that belonged to deceased… Same thing works for various amulets made of bullets (usually those that killed a man, especially a Christian man). These amulets, and tattoos or carvings of San La Muerte in the skin, are said to protect from bodily harm and imprisonment. And unlike other saint cults where you ask, beg, request favors from a saint, in the cult of San La Muerte, you have to “threaten” the saint: you threaten the statue with “hunger” (no offerings) or with “solitude” (banishing it to a dark corner of the house) in exchange for its favors, and once the San grants the favor you “reward” him through his statue (but not too much, as you must keep him “starving” for him to be open to a new deal).

# Santa Muerte is the Mexican manifestation of the “death cult” of Southern America. Santa Muerte (Holy Death/Saint Death), also known as “Our Lady of Holy Death”, Nuestra Señora de la Santa Muerte, is a female folk saint acting as the embodiment of death – a female skeleton with a long robe, holding a scythe and a globe. She is not like other saints a dead human: she IS death itself, taking shape: while the scythe is the typical tool represent her job of cutting the thread of life, the globe represents her dominion over all of earth. Despite her grim appearance, Santa Muerte is actually a benevolent entity who offers healing, protection, financial wellbeing, and a safe travel to the afterlife. Worshiped clandestinely until the 1990s, since then she became a popular public figure. Other attributes of her include the lamp (that she uses to guide us through the darkness, figuratively or literally), the owl (that acts as her messenger), the scale (that represents the divine justice and the equity and impartiality of the will she enacts), and the hourglass (typical Grim Reaper symbol, representing the limited lifespan of a human life – another heritage that the Grim Reaper got from Father Time). Her cult is informal and unorganized, going from a clandestine cult to a highly popular and fast-spreading trend: most people have home shrines dedicated to her, there are special votive candles of different colors to invoke her various favors ; similarly statues of the Santa Muerte are dressed in different colors to pray for different things (white for gratitude, purity and cleansing ; red for love and passion ; green for justice and legal matters ; gold for money, prosperity and economical success…). She receives a special sub-cult as “Señora de la Noche”, Lady of the Night, by those exposed to the dangers of working at night  (taxi drivers, bar owners, prostitutes, policemen…). Her feast day is either the 1st of November or the 15th of August depending on which area you are. Santa Muerte got for a time a bad reputation due to being one of the favorite saints of drug dealers, with her cult spreading to prisons (both among inmates and staff) and her prayers being tied to violent and illegal businesses ; but more recently, she also became the protectress of homosexuals, bisexuals, transgenders, and other queer people of Mexico due to them being outcasts of Christian religion and Mexican society, and Santa Muerte precisely being a non-conforming saint like them: her image is notably used during same-sex marriage ceremonies.

All these folk saints are part of the wider “cult of death” prominent across most Southern America cultures, a cult that is HIGHLY rejected by the Catholic Church, despite these folk saints precisely being created to fit in a Catholic context. It is not so much because they are fictional, or because some of them are clearly “pagan” practices (see San La Muerte), but it is rather because their very existence contradicts the fundamental teaching of Christianity – the one of Resurrection. Through Resurrection, Christ is the one who defeated and vanquished death, and the promise of Heaven by God is the one of an “endless” and “eternal” “true life”, going well beyond our limital physical existence ; the Christian doctrine does insist on death being simply a temporary state, and during Judgement Day, at the end of time, death will be erased as all will be resurrected to live in a state of eternity.

All this concept of death as a temporary thing or a vanquished power, by nature, cannot fit with the worship of death as a saint or holy concept in itself.