#i keep thinking of it as a Last Year project

[marmota-b]

Yes yes yes.

I'm a bit terrible at the passing it on to others.

But I also knit, so I can make things and have made things on two fronts.

I love being able to make my socks, and my bras. I can make my own bras that are nice breathable woven cotton. I'm wearing one right now. It makes my life so much better.

I have an ankle-length 100% wool winter coat that was about four sizes too big for me when I got it - for free. I resized it a bit, and moved the buttons for a double-breasted look that took it in, and got a wonderful winter coat for free. Since then, I've gained some centimetres of girth. I can just move the buttons again. I think I've had it for about thirteen years now.

But I think my favourite thing about that, though currently somewhat intimidating, is this: My grandma passed away last August. This year, I got a bunch of fabrics from her stash. It's intimidating, dealing with her legacy. But there's also this excitement of, in the future, taking her legacy and turning it into something I can keep as close to me as one's clothes are. I look at the fabrics, and some of them are already turning into dream projects before my mind's eye, ones I would not necessarily be able to justify buying new fabric for: a 1950s dress, a velvet 1790s jacket, a 1930s evening bolero (also velvet). I can turn these abandoned things into something special, with sentimental value to boot.

It's great, being able to make and alter one's clothes.

I love sewing

I love making things

I love having made things

I love seeing where a garment is not, where I want one to be, and being able to say "let's make that happen"

I love inspiring people to say "wait, you can just do that? time permitting, you don't have to be bound by what massive, wasteful corporations tell you to wear or how long they say you're allowed to keep wearing it?" obviously there are other barriers to entry, but I find that so many people regard sewing as this impossible alchemy they couldn't even begin to touch- and the fact that I can make it real and less intimidating for them is huge to me

I wanted to learn to sew for as long as I can remember, with no real idea why. and even though I didn't learn until I was 19 or start in earnest until I was 23, I'm proud of the progress I've made in the last eight years

I bought a mantle that my friend was retiring from her historical wardrobe, and it arrived in the mail today. it's soft and warm and gorgeous to look at, but it's also something my friend made herself. I can wear my friend's skill and talent and careful creation as I move through the world

I can wear things born entirely in my own mind, made three-dimensional and real

god, it's the best feeling

[otterloreart]

What's in the Box?

PONY PONIES IN THE BOX

If you've been following along you may have seen that @queenofsquids printed the Takara-inspired BJD last week, both in a "mini" test form and a full-sized one. The full-sized one was supposed to be in yellow, but the pure yellow resin turned out to be a more orangey tone. She incredibly generously offered to send me the orange pony BJD

And then

She incredibly incredibly again generously sent not only the little test takara-bjd in grey BUT ALSO printed my original takara 3D model and sent that?! This is so unbelievably kind and generous. I was so surprised when I opened them all!

I'm not sure if you were all aware but I actually dont have a print of the original "Takara duplicate" doll. I did get the seapony PLA printed at the library (and it was my first ever 3D print!).

For my second print, I got the Dollightful bunny doll printed because I wanted to have experience with jointed dolls made by other people before I put more complex models out. So I figured it would be a while before I got the chance to see my newer models printed.

So like its actually so kind of @queenofsquids to send these but also it's really meaningful to me because I started the takara project where I became obsessed with them over a year ago. It's so amazing to see this thing that frankly I spent so much time fiddling with (even if there are some imperfections; more about that later) and hold it in my hands 🥹 I just keep looking at them and smiling

Also I immediately stole the clothes off my NaNaNa dolls and put them on mini-takara-bjd. They're a little short but fit pretty well!

Some design notes/planned adjustments under cut

-The neck and arm balls are definitely too blocky, this doesn't impact the movement but it is very visually obvious

-Queenofsquids mentioned this but the arm bean is too big and gets stuck in the arm sockets.

^^ These two issues are the most obvious upon brief inspection but are also easy to fix so I'm gonna put out a version ASAP adjusting the file. Call it the version Version 1 Hotfix. Both of these should be fixed in the existing models with a bit of sanding.

-The legs are like just a touch too blocky and I think you can also see lines in the head and chest areas ;-; I think this would depend on the printer, like it might be fine in PLA due to the lower resolution. This can also be buffed out but I can adjust it with some effort

-> I think the blockiness issues come down to the fact I was trying to make the models not too high resolution because then the file size is massive, can't import into cura properly, and even slows down *my* beefy computer. that's why it might take a bit for me to adjust all of these pieces, especially the legs because they have a lot of booleans that lag blender. basically i leaned in the other direction and went a bit too far with some pieces.

-legs are very thin at the bottom (ran into this issue with the dollightful bunny doll too and had to redo quite a bit actually to make it neat)

-The bottom of the heart on the knee in particular is an imperfect fit. I was getting errors in Cura because of some issues related to the knee so I had to remesh it, if you'll remember, so I will need to maybe go in and redo that one :/

-The line around the eyes could be a touch more pronounced, its supposed to be somewhat stylized eyelashes

-I need to play with the arms/legs more to figure out potential issues with the existing joints. But they do at least work and hold poses. I'm not sure if people would prefer anything more complicated like locking joints or if this level of poseability is acceptable

Other things I want to experiment with

-hand pose variation

-nose/mouth variations? it is actually kind of funny to imagine you could switch the expression out to a little :o face or a c: or :3 type of thing

-pegasus/unicorn/fluffy hoof variants like i had planned before

so much stuff :0 and I haven't even finished bunny doll, although at least her paint job is basically done. Once I string the big BJD I can also test posing.

[boundinparchment]

A/N: hardly more than a vent fic. Inspired by actual conversations with loved ones and friends. Don’t look too closely. Or do. Whatever.

Dottore/Spouse reader. Reader is a writer experiencing god awful writer’s block and social pressure.

It took all of one exchange after you locked yourself away for your husband to admonish you. Several scraps scattered around your workstation, a broken pen nib, a discarded type-writer (saved only for transcribing final drafts) kept you company but they did not seem to care for you. Not today.

“You’ve been at this for hours and you’re more irritable than when you started. Get your cloak.”

You rub your face and with a shallow sigh, rise to comply. He’s right. Of course Zandik is right. When isn’t he?

But he didn’t quite get it. These words were not test subjects and equipment to be maneuvered and adjusted. They weren’t tangible and if you didn’t sit down and try to find them, they would eventually just slip through your hands entirely and never return. Everything he did was grounded and real and gave results that were visible beyond just a finalized report.

You threw on your cloak and boots and in silent fury, followed him through the corridor and out of the Palace. Your jaw ached and you were certain you had a knot in your shoulder with the way your neck protested, pinched and aggravated.

“You keep punishing yourself,” Zandik stated. “Why?”

“Sometimes I just have to work through it.”

“Is this one of those times? Because it seems like you’re trying to produce water from stone as of late. All that does is break one’s hands.”

“Easy for you to say. You have centuries of hindsight and a completely different field of study. You’re not creating something from nothing.”

“Your writing is mere transmutation and that still requires a source. I have been stuck on a solution before and I didn’t have a breakthrough by continuing to bash myself into a brick wall.”

You caught a red squirrel dashing across the snowy path and paused when Zandik’s hand shot out to halt you. Both of you stayed still, the skittish creature assessing before it ran around both of you, using you as cover before it dashed to the other end of the pathway. It eyed you from a branch, partially hidden, and then vanished in a rustle of pine needles.

“Your publisher moved your deadline and is willing to be flexible. Even they would rather have a quality book than a rushed one,” Zandik murmured. “So why do you keep doing this to yourself?”

You thought of all of the people you met at your last reading. All of the friendly faces excited for the upcoming release you just signed for them. The letters your publisher fielded and replied to for you. The art, the trinkets, the inspiration you’d given others.

“It’s not about the story at all, is it?” he asked as you continued on.

“I don’t want to let anyone down but I feel as if I have nothing left to give. Whatever magic I produced to get me here…it feels lost. Gone. A bird that got blown off route and can’t find its way back.”

Your eyes burned and you swallowed the lump in your throat. Tears out here would freeze and your nose was already frozen as it was. No need for any onlookers to think the Harbinger was the source, either, you reminded yourself.

“You’ve been going at a breakneck pace for several years. No one is capable of that. Not even me, not even any of the Segments. Why do you think project rotation is the way it is?”

“I thought that was for efficiency.”

“Correct. But efficiency isn’t just about obtaining results as quickly and cleanly as possible. It’s about balance. Maintaining the means by which one achieves those results. One can only do the same thing for so long before they resent it, give away parts of themselves over and over until there is nothing left. Is that what you want?”

To be a husk, a shell of your former self?

“Of course not. But this…I want to tell this story and every time I go to write, all I can think of is that no one would enjoy this turn in the plot. It makes perfect sense and it’s necessary but…”

Putting it all to paper would be alienating. Foreign. The set up was already there, and that was the story worth telling. But all you could think of was all of the gushing about a ship that had no place in the story, details you weren’t intending on focusing on, questions to things that needed answers but they weren’t going to be enjoyable.

Writing a series meant knowing how to leave the right questions and the crumbs to piece it all together.

Somewhere along the way, you’d…

“Maybe you disappoint people but is the happiness of strangers that important to you that you would sacrifice yourself in such a manner? I would hate to see the craft you love turn into a piece of resentment.”

“It feels like when you’ve outgrown someone,” you replied. “Maybe I’ve just outgrown writing.”

“Or outgrown this particular type of writing. Why not try something else for a while?”

“But then I’m back to disappointing people.”

You’d come to a small clearing in the winding widened pathways. Stopping, you watched as Zandik raised his hands to his temples and then gestured emphatically, opening his cloak and startling the nearby finches.

“My love, do they really matter? My research offends most sensibilities and has earned me the title of heretic, and yet my work has made the difference for countless individuals anyway. Let them be disappointed!” He pointed towards the town without looking, cloak whipping snow before he collected himself. “There will be countless others happy with the way you weave words together when you’re ready to again, myself among them.”

Your chest tightened and after a beat, you nodded, sniffling quietly. Nearby, a finch gave a soft peep, fluffing itself to keep warm.

“The segments are thoroughly invested in your plot. If you have the need, they would be more than delighted to humor various scenarios. As would I. What matters is that you’re satisfied with the results.”

“I know.”

“Then keep it in the forefront of your mind. Now, come. I need your eye to help identify books that might be relevant to my latest project.”

[eden-writes-stuff]

Hi, I hope you're doing well!

I was wondering if you could write something about Luna and Harry coming up with a plan for their moms to fall in love, and for they can be siblings.

It's an idea I've had for a while and I think it's really fun.

OMG I love this idea. So cute!

Tags: fluff, comfort, kids being silly, setup, Regulus being a great parent / uncle side ships: wolfstar, jegulus

Luna spread the paper on the couch table and placed her crayons beside it.

"Operation: bring Pandora and Lily together so we can be siblings - BPALTSWCBS." 

Harry pulled out his glitter pens. "I did my research over last week."

Research, in this case, being a Romance-movie-marathon with his uncles over the weekend. They had very much supported him when he'd confided in them and told them their plan. Or at least the general idea which they needed the plan for. 

 "Great. Tell me what you've learned." She pulled the cap off of one of the glitter gels and got ready to write.

"Well, most of them were with a man and a woman, but I think it works either way", he started and Luna nodded. "So, there was one where they were working on a project together and then they got locked in at their office and had to cuddle to keep warm." "But our moms don't work together." Harry hesitated for a moment. "we could get them to organise your birthday party together?" Luna thought about it, then wrote it down.

"There was another one with two men where they got locked in together in a room and then some woman threatened their lives unless they kiss." The six-year-old grinned and put it above the other idea.

"For the next one we'd have to wait until yule, but maybe you can convince your grandparents to ask your mum if she has found someone yet and then she freaks out and brings my mum as a fake date, so they stop annoying her." "She doesn't really care about their opinions so that probably won't work..."

"Alright. The one where the woman wants to get married before her sister is also out because aunt Petunia is already married..." "So our only option to make them be happy together is to threaten their lives?", Luna summarised. "Yeah, I think so."

"Great. But we need to make them believe it. Maybe we could get a dragon from somewhere." "Or a serial killer. Hey, papa." Harry looked up from their plan on the table, as Regulus walked in. "What do you need a serial killer for, mon coeur?", he asked, one eyebrow raised.

Harry and Luna shared a glance. "You need to promise not to tell anyone. This is a top-secret mission." Harry leaned in a bit and Regulus nodded slowly. "We're trying to get mom to go out with Panda, so they fall in love and get married and then we can be siblings", he half-whispered. 

"But we're not sure, how to do it yet. Our best idea is to threaten their lives so that they kiss", Luna added, shrugging.

Regulus nodded. It was best not to question a child's logic, not to mention that it sounded like something that might actually work if executed properly. Plus, as Pandora's confidante, he knew that she had fancied the redhead since they were teenagers.

Harry looked up at him. "How did you and dad get together?" The pale man attempted to answer a few times, but eventually just shook his head. "I think that's a story for another time. I do have an idea, however. Do you want to hear it?" They both nodded excitedly.

"Maybe you need to approach it from the other side. You tell them you want to spend a sibling-day with your favourite moms. You know, go to the park, have a movie night... That way you force them to spend time together and see how adorable you two are."

The children shared a few looks. "But then we don't get to threaten their lives..." "We can still do that if plan A doesn't work." "Hmmm.... okay."

Luna wrote it on the paper with a crayon. "Thank you, uncle Reggie. You can leave now. We need to work out the details."

[hoshibatake]

Build! Freedom packed with ideals! - FREEDOM - Prologue

<Spring of the second year since ES was established, “Trickstudio”>

Makoto: I’m back～♪ Sorry for making you wait.

Makoto: I noticed that I was hungry, so I got us all a hamburger menu. The one with the limited edition side dish—

Makoto: Huh? What’s that red beam of light on the wall?

Subaru: Don’t move, Ukki～!

Subaru: If you touch the light beam, you’ll be turned into a cute plushie! Just like this!

Makoto: That plushie, is it supposed to be Isara-kun? It’s so cute～♪

Makoto: But I don’t think it’s possible for people to turn into plushies. We’re not in a sci-fi movie, after all.

Makoto: …Ooh, were you trying to set up a bit with that!? Let me think for a moment, I’ll play along!

Makoto: This plushie looks just like Isara-kun! And here I thought you were just kidding.

Makoto: Have I ended up in a different reality while I was out shopping? Or could this be a dream?

Subaru: No. Sadly, this is reality. Apparently, this is the result of extra security measures in the building.

Makoto: Hng, Isara-kun… Even if you’ve turned into a plushie, nothing can destroy our friendship. I’ll always be your friend, Isara-kun!

Hokuto: …Yuuki. Why are you standing in the doorway? Are you having trouble getting in?

Makoto: Oh, Hidaka-kun.

Hokuto: Hm? What’s with this red beam…?

Makoto: No, Hidaka-kun, don’t do it! If you touch that beam, you too will get turned into a plushie—

Hokuto: Turned into a plushie? What are you talking about?

Subaru: Jeez, Hokke～. You never play along with our bits. You killjoy, you～

Hokuto: Don’t prod me with your elbow. What on earth are you two doing?

Subaru: We got a new lamp, so we were pretending to be in a sci-fi movie☆

Subaru: That light beam is just from a lamp. If you press this button, it’ll project Trickstar’s logo onto the floor, like this.

Mao: It’s quite fun, and it was on sale, so we ended up buying it. Though, it’ll probably lose its novelty pretty soon.

Makoto: Oh, Isara-kun. So you were on the second floor.

Makoto: What’s with this plushie? It’s an adorable little caricature of you. Did you buy this somewhere as well?

Mao: It’s a sample of a plushie that will be sold as merch soon. Anzu just came by to drop it off.

Hokuto: Is Anzu here too?

Subaru: No, she left again right away. Apparently she was needed somewhere else.

Mao: Exactly. There wasn’t even any time to make her some tea～

Makoto: Oh. I wonder if Anzu is just as busy as ever this year.

Makoto: She graduated from Yumenosaki, so I figured we would have more time with her than last year, but I guess not.

Subaru: Despite the fact that the four of us are hanging out in the Trickstudio almost daily～

Subaru: Speaking of. We’ve managed to spruce this place up quite a lot. We’ve added lots of decorations, and it’s starting to look like a true hideout…☆

Mao: That’s because you keep showing up with more sparkly things, Subaru～. Anyway, I hope Anzu finds this place cozy too.

Mao: Because the Trickstudio is meant for her as well♪

Hokuto: …Speak of the devil. I just got a message from Anzu.

Hokuto: Apparently she wants us to come to the StarPro office. It seems that Tenshouin-senpai has business with us.

Subaru: What kind of business?

Hokuto: No clue. Apparently Anzu doesn’t know the details either.

Hokuto: We know who we’re dealing with. I can’t say I have a very good feeling about this, but it’s not like overthinking it is going to help us.

Makoto: Yeah. Nothing in particular comes to mind.

Makoto: In two hours, huh? Then I guess we’ll have time to eat lunch first.

Mao: Sounds good. The smell of junk food in here is making my stomach growl～

Mao: Let’s eat up before it gets cold. Itadakima～su♪

<Two hours later. StarPro’s office>

Subaru: Oh, there’s Eichi-senpai. And Anzu is here too! Yaho, yaho～♪

Eichi: Yaa. I’ve been waiting for you, Trickstar.

Eichi: It’s already April, so this might be belated, but… Congratulations on your graduation.

Hokuto: Thank you. Did you make us come all the way here just to tell us that?

Eichi: Of course not. I don’t have that much free time.

Eichi: While you may no longer be students, a new year has started. As the president of StarPro, I would like to ask you what your plans for the future are.

Subaru: Wow, this feels like one of those student-teacher meetings at school. The future, huh? Hmm…?

Subaru: How about one that’s “bright, fun and lively”?

Eichi: What is that? It’s such a vague idea that it sounds like a slogan.

Subaru: How about “great financial growth”? Or “immaculate health”?

Eichi: Both are important, but neither are the kind of answer I’m looking for.

Eichi: You’re no longer a bunch of fresh new idols who are still wet behind the ears. You should at least set a clear goal for yourselves.

Mao: Ahaha, I’m so sorry… But we can’t just think of something like that on the spot. We’re always just flying by the seat of our pants, after all.

Hokuto: That’s right. Even if we draw up a detailed plan, we always end up in one predicament or another anyway.

Hokuto: Dealing with stumbling blocks on our path and overcoming obstacles that stand in our way is simply our way of doing things.

Subaru: Ooh, Hokke～ you’re so cool～♪ Woo～ woo～☆

Eichi: Come, now. Don’t try to glorify not having any plans.

Eichi: I was already worried that you guys would have this mindset. You should look at yourselves a little more objectively.

Eichi: There are children all over the world who want to become idols because Trickstar are their role models. Now is the time for you to set a good example.

Eichi: I’m not saying you have to become perfectly orderly and exemplary. I’ve experienced firsthand how difficult it is to reign you in, after all.

Eichi: But still. You need to at least put in considerable effort in order to avoid disappointing those who look up to you.

Eichi: Because you are shining idols¹ that are physical representations of their hopes and dreams.

TL note:

Eichi used the word 偶像 here, which literally means “idol” (a statuette to worship). But there was the reading “アイドル” (aidoru) behind it in parentheses, so it carries a double meaning, similar to how the English word “idol” carries a double meaning.

Translated by me, proofread by Altea (@icaruswasthesun on Twitter)

[morbethgames]

Love In Stasis - Chapter 1

(Follow more closely on my Patreon )

Chapter 1

The radio inside the dark blue Volkswagen was playing nineties rock hits, if only to drown out the doom that Madeline felt about finishing the project for her immunology course. One hand was on the steering wheel while her head leaned on the other, which was propped up on the inside of the car door. Luckily she wasn’t paired with just some random person, or else the stress of it all would no doubt be amplified by an amount that she didn’t even want to comprehend. 

People walked through the crosswalk of the main street in front of her, just north of the dorms of Scribe City College. It wasn’t the biggest campus by any means in the U.S., but it was close to a strip of restaurants, a shopping center with a movie theater and a bowling alley, and a couple of bars. So it’s not like there wasn’t anything to do here at campus. 

A horn suddenly beeped behind Madeline, grabbing her attention. “Shit-” she muttered and sat up, pressing on the gas to make her car begin to roll through the now green light, which she hadn’t realized had changed colors from its previous red hue. The long-haired brunette put up a hand so the car behind her could see. “Sorry!” As if they would have a chance of hearing her in mid-november when everyone had their windows rolled up. 

She had a lot distracting her as of recently. As an animal science major and immunology minor, there was no shortage of assignments and presentations the woman had to do. This was made doubly sure by the fact she was in her junior year, which was infamously known as one of the busiest times in a college student’s life. Even now, she was headed to the Grayson Library to meet up with Melody to work on this project, which focused on MHC cross-translation for exogenous antigens. 

College was hard. Medicine was harder. She wanted to do this, but sometimes she felt like she didn’t want to do this. But, whenever she felt like that, all she had to do was think about Jeremy.

That normally got her motivated again. It helped remind her of why she was here in the first place, at this college, in this major. 

As Madeline pulled into a parking space on the side of the building, she got out of her car and opened up the back door. Her hand grabbed one of the straps of her backpack, making a motion to lift it. “Oof!” She stumbled, not moving from the spot and being pulled back towards the car. The strap of the backpack got stuck on a loose piece of plastic underneath one of the seats of her car. 

“Ugh, come on!” The last word was strained as she exerted herself to free the heavy bag from its entrapment. “I just wanna- ngh!” She pulled the backpack again, getting it loose this time and slinging it around her shoulder, exhaling as she did. “Get this project over with.” And get out of the cold. She was wearing jeans with a crop top, and the large, thick button up black and white flannel didn’t really help keep the bitter fall air from nipping at her skin. 

As Madeline pushed open the doors to the library and stepped inside, her walking pace was a little faster than normal. She scanned her student ID card to get past the checkpoint to enter the main portion of the building. As she did, a voice called out to her. 

“Hey Mads, what’s up?” Luz was standing by in her campus security uniform. She was only a couple inches shorter than the six-foot cardboard cutout of the founder of the library. It was always so weird to Maddie that they had that. Like, just- why? 

Madeline looked Luz’s way, offering her nothing much more than a friendly half-smile as she kept walking. It was always kind of awkward around her.

Luz is a criminal justice major, but more than that, she’s Melody’s ex-girlfriend. From what Madeline knew, they were still on friendly terms, and even hung out sometimes, but she just had this way about her. Like a naturally charming attitude, in a flirtatious sense of the word. There have been a couple times where Melody had to come over to Madeline’s dorm this past year to give Luz the privacy she needed for her ‘dates’. 

Which Maddie didn’t exactly find fair. They requested the same dorm because they were together at the time, but now it’s like it gets shoved in Melody’s face whenever that happens. Granted, it doesn’t happen often, but it’s still kind of a shitty thing to do. Luz wasn’t a bad person, and Maddie knew that. She’d known her since high school. Luz was one of the people that was there for her when Jeremy died. 

But, Melody is her best friend, so it’s just a really complicated situation. 

Madeline opens the door to the quiet room that they rented out, walking in and closing it behind her. “Hey, sorry I’m late. I had some orgo homework I needed to work on and time just got away from me.” She huffed, letting the backpack slide off her shoulder onto the floor, sitting down and beginning to rifle through it to pull out her laptop, textbook and notes. 

Melody pushed a few strands of her auburn hair behind her ear. “Oh, trust me, you don’t need to tell a Pre-Vet major the woes of orgo.” She leaned forward, placing her hand overtop Madeline’s and speaking overdramatically. “I was forged in the fire. You merely bathed in it.”

Madeline looked at her with faux sympathy, putting her other hand over Melody’s, gently patting it a couple times. “Is it that time of the semester where you begin incorrectly quoting Batman movies already? You poor thing.” 

For the next two hours, Melody and Madeline worked together on their project. It was a grueling process that was only cushioned by the jokes, quips, and suffering shared between close friends. 

Madeline and Melody had known each other since elementary school. They were assigned to sit next to each other in Mr. Thompson’s class, which Madeline then took the opportunity to scribble all over Melody’s cursive homework the first chance she got. Melody proceeded to cry and throw her applesauce all over Madeline’s clothes. 

Later, when a meeting was called and both families were sitting in the principal's office, both of them were told to apologize to each other. To everyone’s surprise, they looked at each other and just… started to laugh. From that point on, they were practically attached at the hip. 

“Uuuugh!” Melody sat back and stared up at the ceiling.

Madeline did the same, only instead of groaning she just rubbed her eyes. “Is it cones or rods that cause sight related headaches?”

Melody shrugged, turning side to side in her seat. “I dunno.”

“Well whichever it is, I’m politely requesting that mine either be replaced or removed.” Madeline sat back forward, looking at Melody who couldn’t help but crack a smile and chuckle at the statement. 

They both raised their heads and looked towards the door that was opening, seeing the long-pixie cut, or bixie cut as some would call it, of Luz. “Hey, M n’ M, how goes the studying?” 

M n’ M was her nickname for them since forever. A play on the candy, since their names were Madeline and Melody. 

Melody sighed, “Not studying; project. And it’s finished. Finally. But now I have to get into my animal disease homework, which means I’ll be here for a little while longer, unfortunately.”

Luz stepped fully into the doorway, pointing her thumb back towards the direction of the front desk. “My shift’s about to end, but I can wait around if you wanna have somebody to walk you home.”

Melody scrunched her face, holding up a hand in refusal. “No no, you head back to the room. You still have that case to write up a summary on, right? What was it…?” She trails the last word, snapping her fingers a couple of times before pointing towards Luz. “DeShaney v. Winnebago, right?”

Luz grins and nods a little, “Yeah, that’s the one. I’m reviewing my analyses on the mother’s deposition. Shit can get kinda rough.” She lets out a depleted sigh. “But, gotta stay objective. That’s what the law is all about.” 

“I never thought I’d see the day where you’d be putting in the work to study law.” Madeline begins gathering her things as she speaks, closing her laptop and shoving it in her backpack.

Luz smiles, leaning against the door frame and crossing her arms. “Oh, I’m sorry, are you saying I don’t put work into things?” The security woman looks down to the front of her body, chuckles, and looks back up. “Cus’ I have a few examples I could give to prove you wrong, cariño.”

Maddie rolls her eyes and shakes her head, but does so with a smile. Luz and Melody just look at each other and laugh a little before Luz pushes herself off of the door frame. “Alright, if you’re sure, Melody, then I’ll see you back at the dorm.”

In response, Melody holds out her hands, as if over exaggeratingly releasing something into the wild. “Be free, my butch stallion. Roam back to the savanna.” 

Madeline stops what she’s doing to look and raise her eyebrows at Melody, and Luz just breaks out into a wider smile and shakes her head. “Alright girl, see you at home.” With that, Luz walks away and leaves the other two in the room, letting the door close behind her. 

It takes a couple of seconds of Maddie giving the disappointed best friend look for Melody to defend herself. “It was a joke Maddie, I’m tired- leave me alone!” The redhead brings her hands up to her face and leans back in her chair.

“You are so not over her.” Madeline retorts as she finishes putting the rest of her things back in her bookbag and settling back into her seat. 

“I know.” Melody sits back up, putting her hands flat on the table, “I’m trying, but like, it’s hard. 

Her friend stares back, unimpressed. “Mel-”

“I mean, she talked about putting in work and let me tell you; she puts in work.” 

Maddie held out her hand and stood up, “Okay, way too much info, girl.” They both laughed a little as Madeline began to gather her things, continuing to attempt to be the voice of reason. “Look, all I’m saying is that nothing good can come from swooning over an ex. Trust me, you saw what happened with me and Ahmed.”

Mel nodded, “Okay, true. I just- it’s hard, y’know?” She slouched forward, leaning her chin on her hand. “We live together, and I see her every night. So not having the space away is just- It’s difficult to keep my mind focused on other things.”

“You haven’t like,” Maddie lowered her voice, even though she didn’t have to since they were in a literal quiet room. “benefited with friends’d her, have you?” 

Melody smiles, “First off, that’s the weirdest way of asking if we’ve had sex or not. Second, no, we haven’t. At least not since breaking up.” 

“Good.” 

“But I totally want to.”

“Mel!”

“Maddie!” Melody answered with a smile and a mock tone. 

Madeline rolls her eyes and shakes her head, becoming minorly annoyed at this point. Noticing this, Melody follows up her statement with a more sensible, less thirsty take on the situation. “I want to… but I won’t.” 

Madeline eases her expression, having empathy for the exhaustion in her best friend’s tone as she continues to speak. “Like I said, living together is hard, but I’ll get over her eventually. I think it’s just harder because we’re still friends, and sometimes,” She shrugs half-heartedly, “I just see the way she treats me and it’s pretty much the same as when we were together. So I’m left to wonder if her feelings ever changed, or if I was always just, I dunno,” she pauses for a second, trying to think of the right way to phrase it. “A friend?”

A short beat of silence lingers in the room, then Maddie walks over to Melody’s side of the table. “Mel, why don’t I get a dorm room senior year?” 

Melody’s brow furrows, a small amount of guilt already lacing it. “What? Maddie, no-”

“I can live here and you can request a transfer to my room. We wouldn’t have to meet at the library, and you’d be able to get some space away from Luz.”

Melody leaned against the back of the chair. “I appreciate it- really, I do. And I know I have to put more space between her and I. But I would just feel bad, y’know? She’s my friend, and we’ve been sharing a room for three years.”

“You’ve been sharing a room for three years, while dating.” Maddie adds in the important detail. 

“I know, I know. But you know what her home life was like. She finally has something stable, and I don’t wanna make her feel like shit because I can’t get over my feelings.” 

“I get that. I do.” Madeline puts a hand on her friend’s shoulder. “But just remember, you have to take care of yourself, too. You’re gonna be applying for vet schools next year and taking your capstone. You don’t wanna be bogged down by this stuff.”

Melody looks up with an appreciative smile, putting her own hand over her friend’s. “I know. I promise, I won’t let it stop me.”

“Good.” Maddie says, then makes her way towards the door. “I’ll see you tomorrow for the presentation. Don’t stay here all night, alright?”

As the door starts closing behind her, Melody shouts back, “No promises!” 

Then the door shuts. Melody is left in the room alone. She thinks about pulling up her animal disease homework, but it’s like there’s a force stopping her. Some urge that she has to just get up and go home. To talk to Luz before she loses her nerve. Because Maddie was right; they had to talk about it. She couldn’t keep going and just pining over her ex. Even if Luz wasn’t doing anything to antagonize those feelings, maybe there was something they could work out by just talking to each other. It was worth a shot.

So, she gathered up her things and left shortly after her friend did, hopefully heading home in time to have the conversation over dinner. She was starving.

A half hour later - Mel and Luz’s dorm room

Mel walked up to their third floor dorm room, reaching into her pocket to fish out the key card. As she was about to hold it up to the door, she stopped for a second, listening with furrowed brows. 

“Oh fuck, Luz! Mmm… Anh…!” 

Her expression became dejected as she recognized the familiar sounds of a woman’s moaning and groaning. Luz must’ve thought Melody was going to be longer in the library, which was fair since staying and doing work was what she originally said she was going to do. 

Mel goes to put her keys back in her pockets. She could go out for a couple of hours. Maybe head over to Maddie’s and spend the night there. 

But she just froze. 

Melody knew she should just walk away. Just go somewhere else and give Luz the time she needed with whatever hookup was with her. To give her time to finish things up.

So why was she opening the door, then? Jealousy? Probably. It was at least half the reason. The other was the hurt she felt. And the hurt made her mad, if only a little. 

As she stepped inside, she heard the noises from the other room stop.

Luz, who was currently overtop of her panting partner, turned her head to the side. “What was that?” Her voice was a bit raspy itself.

The woman pulled Luz’s face down and planted a kiss on her lips. “I don’t care.” She said, breathing heavily, “Just keep going!”

Luz wasn’t about to let the dopamine cloud her cautiousness, though. She shifted and swung her legs out of bed, picking up her button up shirt from the floor. She hadn’t gotten her pants off quite yet, but they were also unbuttoned by this point. “Just stay here, I’ll be right back.” The more muscular woman’s tone was cautious.

Her partner looked disappointed, and her tone matched it, but she tried to hide it through a pout. “Don’t keep me waiting…” 

Luz looked back with a cocky grin, then leaned down and gave her another kiss. Her coarse black hair was barely long enough to hang in front of her face before she slicked it back. “I won’t. Do us both a favor,” She looked down at the woman’s body, trailing a finger partway down her chest and looked back into her eyes. “Keep yourself busy ‘til I get back, yeah?”

With that, she headed toward the door, her shirt still unbuttoned and exposing her toned abs and the middle of her chest. 

As she poked her head out, she saw a familiar head of auburn hair. Embarrassment hit her almost immediately as she carefully closed the door behind her. “Mel? I didn’t think you’d be back so soon.” Luz began walking towards her, hurriedly working on buttoning up the top of her shirt while she did. 

“Well,” Melody shrugged with a half-hearted, tense smile. “Here I am.” 

“Yeah, um,” Luz sighed through a nervous smile of her own. Normally Melody would hear what was going on and give her some time to wrap things up, but that didn’t seem like it was the case this time around. Mel was just standing there uncomfortably, retracting in on herself. 

One thing Luz was good at, which Melody both hated and loved while they were still together, was picking up on people’s moods and emotions. It was obvious to the criminal justice major that something was just off tonight. Melody’s posture and the way she was acting just started setting off alarm bells in Luz’s mind. “Are you-” She looked at Mel, concerned. “Are you okay?” The awkwardness in her voice was still very much apparent.

Melody took a deep breath and crossed her arms. “Not, um,” A single, nervous laugh left her lips, “N-Not really.” Luz’s expression became even more concerned. “Can we, um, talk? Maybe?”

There was a heavy silence that took over the room for a couple of seconds. Things hadn’t been this heavy since their breakup. That being any indication, Luz definitely knew it was something that couldn’t wait. She needed to make time for her ex. For her friend. “Yeah. Yeah, sure thing. Just-” She took a single step towards the hallway, pointing her thumb in the direction she was moving. “Gimme a sec.”

Mel watched as Luz warily walked towards the door to her bedroom and headed inside. 

A moment of quiet passes in the living room. 

“ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME?!”

Melody flinched at the shouting coming from the bedroom. 

Luz cringed as she stood on one side of the bed and her date started getting dressed on the other side. “Look, I’m really sorry. Something really important came up and-”

“Oh, so I’m not fucking important then, Luz?! Are you serious right now?!” She angrily pulled up her underwear, then started throwing on her shirt. 

“I-” Luz had to take a breath and stop herself from snapping back at the presumptuous comment. “I never said that, Beth.”

“Yeah? Well you’re sure as hell not denying it either!” Beth got all her clothes on, and Luz walked around the bed next to her.

“My roommate came home and they need to-”

“So what?!” Bethany shouts, moving to exit the room and grabbing her purse on the way past. 

“Beth, hold on!” Unfortunately, Luz couldn’t get to the irate woman before she opened the door.

Bethany had already started making her way down the short hallway outside the room, walking backwards, holding her hands out and facing Luz, who was still in the doorway behind her. “They can either go somewhere for like, an hour, or they can sit out here and listen to the fucking show for all I care!” 

Luz walked after the blonde, her own tone now started to get irritated. “That’s not happening.”

Melody stood there, motionless, wide-eyed, and practically holding her breath. She secretly hoped she might just disappear until all this was over. Like not breathing would somehow make her invisible. 

Bethany pointed to the extremely toned woman who was supposed to be her partner for the night. “No Luz! There’s no excuse! Kicking me out while you’re practically still knuckles deep in me is fucked and you know it!” 

At this point, Luz raised her voice back. “Hey! Can you watch you’re fucking mouth, please?!”

Bethany paused, looked back at Melody who was standing there frozen, then looked back at Luz, shaking her head in disbelief. She stepped forward and pushed her, making the stronger woman take a couple steps back. “Are you fucking kidding me right now?! Is that what this is?! You double booked?!” Bethany turned around and started walking towards the door leading out of the apartment.

Luz continued to follow her to the door. “I already told you, that’s not it!” 

On her way past, Beth spit at Melody. 

Mel flinched violently, being snapped out of her frightened stupor, and immediately began to wipe away at her cheek. 

“Have fun with your whore!” It was the last thing Beth said before opening the door to leave. 

“HEY! ¡¿Qué carajo fue eso?!” 

“No, don’t!” Luz stops in her tracks as she hears Melody’s interjection. Her voice almost trembles as she says it.

Luz looks at Mel, then at the door, which just finished shutting on its own, then back to Mel. She had a pretty strong sense of justice. It felt wrong to just let Beth walk away after what she did, but she had to weigh which one was more important to her right now. Her desire to see Beth face consequences for what she did, or her friend’s feelings.

It was an easy answer.

Luz covered her thumb with her sleeve and walked over to Mel. “Shit, I’m sorry. I didn’t think she’d flip out like that.” She wiped Melody’s cheek a couple of times, slowly, then put both hands up to cup her face. “You okay? Lemme look at you.”

Melody looked up, and immediately her eyes met with Luz’s. She was lost in them. In the care. In the tenderness. In the protectiveness. She wanted to move her hand up to grab Luz’s. She wanted to beg her to take her back. She wanted to scream and shout and tell her to stop being her. But most of all, she just wanted to know why. 

Why wasn't she what Luz wanted?

Luz’s expression only grew more concerned when Melody began tearing up. “Mel?” 

The sound of her name was enough to snap her out of the depressive trance, and she promptly turned her head away and walked a few paces back. “No, I’m- I’m sorry.” She paused for half a second, stammering over what she wanted to say. “I just shouldn’t have-” Mel interrupted herself again, letting out a single breath. She was having trouble getting the words out.

Some of Luz’s concern turned to confusion, but she gave Mel her space. “Shouldn’t have,” she paused, “what?”

“I shouldn’t have come over tonight!”

Luz’s confusion only deepened. “Melody, this is your dorm room too. You can decide to be here whenever you want.” 

“No, Luz!” Melody snapped, turning to look at her. A few tears rolled down her cheeks. 

Luz, in response, took a step back. Her eyes could only be described as that of a dog who felt like they did something wrong. Those two words made her feel like she lost her footing a lot more than Bethany’s shove did.

Mel shook her head and looked down. “I can’t. I really, really can’t, Luz.”

“Mel…” Her voice was soft. Fragile. She thought if she spoke any louder that Melody might shatter like a pane of glass. “This-” she reached out. Not to actually touch her, but to show she was trying to comfort her. “This isn’t your fault.”

That only seemed to draw an audible sob from the pre-vet major. “Yeah.” She brings one hand up to her forehead and nods, outwardly crying now, and barely able to get the words out. “Yeah it is.” 

Melody pushed past Luz, heading a couple steps down the hallway and fast walking into her room, shutting and locking the door behind her. 

“Mel!” Luz followed, attempting to open the door, but to no avail. She knocked on it with her open palm a couple of times. “Melody!” Inside, she could hear her ex’s sobs. It sounded like she was crying into her pillow to try and muffle the sounds, but they were still just loud enough to be heard through the door. 

Luz stood there for a few seconds, wondering what the hell even happened tonight. What did Melody want to talk to her about? What got her so emotional? What could she do to make this right; whatever this was? 

“Shit…” Luz sighed, then walked further down the hall to her own room. Before entering, she looks back one more time at Melody’s door.

She just stops and stares, then bows her head and walks in, closing the door behind her.

[grissomesque]

How about 3 and 6?

Hiiii!

3. What work are you most proud of (regardless of kudos/hits)?

Definitely You Who Wish To Conquer Pain. Because it's like my own little utopia, what canon could've been, and I was pretty happy with how the canon elements melded with my own ideas.

And here's a bit of trivia: because this was for the Month of Cohen, and because the prompt this year was that someone had to die, I was originally going to kill Janeway in Renaissance Man. Like, up until the last second, that was the plan. But I literally could not make myself do it, and I do think the ending is much better for it, so I guess my bleeding J/P heart is good for something.

Oh, whoops, I forgot the second one! 6. Favorite title you used

Ummm, well I'm sort of pants at titles, they're all stolen from something else. So that said, either Yearly, Down This Hill, or That High Place in the Darkness.

Thank you for this question, @emilie786! 😊

ao3 wrapped.

[floccinaucinihilipilificationa]

Hey hey hey may 31th anon! How's 2024 going? ☆ヾ(*´▽｀)ﾉ This year I have for you a leaked Sherlock season 5 image. Thinking of you!! And everyone!!

[heartorbit]

🩷💛💚💜

[astranauticus]

soliloquy

(edit once again i drew something with my ipad screen brightness too high and now that i've posted it nothing is visible. sad!)

[project-sekai-facts]

Kanade's another cut for the Twilight Light 3DMV is a direct reference to her untrained The Dream I Saw Will One Day 4* card.

Screencap source

[dashing-through-ecto]

The difference one and a half years can make

My first comic

My latest comic

It's been absolutely staggering to see the differences even though these panels have the same vibes.

[wundrousarts]

I finally found the screenshot of the latest shred of movie news we got from Jess, from 4/1/23, soon before she deactivated. Here’s to hoping we maybe get another shred of news before this tweet hits the one year mark? 😅

[non-un-topo]

I realize I've been so flaky with responding to asks, finishing my drawings or fics I promised, etc. I've kind of been drifting in and out of tumblr without interacting much. Real life just finally started, and I need to build up a ton of motivation and find time before I can work on a fandom project. Just wanted to say that I'm still here and still working on stuff, just slowly.

[rubiatinctorum]

instagram is such a loserish website. i post my photos for my friends to see and their feeds are so filled with sponsored reels and suggested posts that they probably don't want to see if they feel like i do about my sponsored reels and suggested posts. and then none of us see each other's posts, which we signed up to see and followed each other to share with each other. stupid stupid stupid.

[opens-up-4-nobody]

The way that the sun hits leaves and clouds. I feel like I could watch the colors change forever. If I could slow down for that long.