#i keep thinking about a scenario in which you gets poisoned and pass out and he catches you

[cerisahh]

waiter waiter i need more princess! reader/sandor clegane fics

[itsabouttimex2]

What are the cookie run “fams” and what do the Y/Ns look like?

Yandere CRK Families

Alright this was a fun question, so I’ll go over three of them!

Chocofam

In terms of personality, I think that this particular Y/N is going to be very timid and withdrawn after an entire life spent within their father’s desolate and quiet castle.

As someone who believes in the necessity of strength and discipline, Dark Cacao Cookie doesn’t hold back from piling on consequences when he thinks you’re making a mistake or putting yourself in danger. His guidance is often harsh, but he genuinely thinks it’s what you need to become resilient enough to survive.

The king is strict- but he’s convinced that it’s only because he wants to see you become the best version of yourself. He frequently gives you strenuous “lessons” in survival skills or fighting techniques, preparing you for any misfortune or struggle that may come your way, but deep down, Dark Cacao knows he’s not willing to cut your lead enough slack to allow to those scenarios to manifest.

��and maybe it allows him to tuck your tired room in nice and tight when all is said and done, and maybe leave you with a treat or two.

But only if you’re good.

Caramel Arrow Cookie guards you as she guards the king, willing to trade her life for yours- I think she manifests her “yandere” behavior in sheer devotion and loyalty to His Highness, Dark Cacao Cookie, which spills over onto you in turn. If you are safe and happy, then Caramel Arrow knows that her king can focus on his duties as sovereign.

Because she’s unwilling to go against an order levied by the king, Caramel Arrow is strikingly strict with her care- not brutally so, but she’s definitely not the sort to waver once an order has been given. To help pass the time, she’ll set up targets and guide you through nocking and loosing arrows, ensuring that you’ll be just as grand an archer as her, all in time with your father’s ceaseless swordsmanship lessons. She’s warm-hearted in spite of her unwavering devotion to your safeguarding, which means it’s not impossible to get a pep talk or even a piggyback ride back to your room when you grow exhausted- and she also makes all of your meals herself to prevent any poison from being snuck in.

As for Crunchy Chip Cookie, he’s a little more hands on when it comes to dealing with you. He’ll roughhouse and tease and pester, though always with a measure of restraint- his job is to keep you safe, so no going all out or actually fighting. Still, a wrestling match or two is good for your spirit and allows for the burning of excess energy.

Though you aren’t allowed outside, there’s no rules against bringing outside in… which means that the Cream Wolf pups can “secretly” visit you as much as they’d like! It’s an immediate mood-booster for both you and the puppies, so he doesn’t mind cutting into training time.

Dark Cacao knows about all these canine rendezvous, of course. Crunchy Chip ran it by him beforehand, but they pretend that all of it is happening just under the rug. Maybe a little bit of presumed “troublemaking” does your heart good.

Well, until you inevitably get attached to a ring and then shuffle into his throne room to guiltily ask to keep it as a pet after “confessing” to playing with them it frequently.

(…he says yes, to everyone’s surprise.)

Probably your name is something like “Chocolate Milk Cookie”, “Cocoa Powder Cookie”, or “Dark Truffle Cookie”.

(Though the many soldiers tasked with caring for you will inevitably slip in enough nicknames to fill a book…)

Constantly nervous/bored and frowning, the soft gifts you’re spoiled with can only do so much to keep your wanderlust and frustration at bay- not that Caramel Arrow and Crunchy Chip ever stop piling them on. You prefer the books over the plushes, but anything new gets your little sad face twisting into a gleeful expression, encouraging your guardians to continue piling the gifts on.

Dark Cacao has you permanently bundled into the traditional garbs of his people, constantly wearing a reminder of the long-buried soldiers who bravely gave their lives for their people.

Unfortunately for you, you aren’t granted the privilege of owning thick woolen socks or fuzzy fur-lined boots- instead, your father ensures that even a step out of line would have you freezing and desperate to return to the warmth of your room.

Instead, you are forced to remain barefoot all through the day, walking only in halls and rooms that have plush carpet laid out for your little feet- else you begin to crumble from the cold. Of course, if the weather ever gets to you, you can always return to your room and request a fluffy blanket or a hot meal…

So long as you do what father says.

Oceanfam/Gemfam

(Not sure which one yet… name pending, basically. “Mermaidfam” is a little long, haha)

Probably you’re a little thing who falls overboard after rowing out a little too far, caught in the careless waves and dragged under the tide, then beaten mercilessly against rough rocks and jagged coral. The event leaves you soggy, close to crumbling… until a tender mermaid comes to your rescue under the veil of moonlight, dragging you to her underwater palace.

White Pearl Cookie is happy to meet you, to know you, to drink in every last story you can share with her about your warm and dry home back on land- until you pass out in her arms, dough so broken that your jam spills into the waters of Tearcrown.

Luckily for you, the Little Moon of the Sea has no end to her patience and kindness! Given that you’re unarmed and somewhat crippled at the moment, there’s little harm in bringing you back to the palace and settling you in for an extended stay.

Her sisters, on the other hand…

Though she’s kind, Aquamarine Cookie doesn’t think much of you at first. Really, with your wobbly lips and tearful eyes that scrunch each time a wound is cleaned and patched, she mostly just pities you. Eventually you end up wandering into her garden, where she warms up to your curiosity and enthusiasm over her lovely array of foliage. Especially if you take notes as she speaks. Expect lots of veggie dishes to aid in your healing.

Though she finds most two-legged cookies to be far too odd to bother with, Gold Citrine Cookie has already raided your personal effects and taken a liking in your interests- after all, a cookie that loves the sea can’t be that bad, right? She snatches the prettiest shells from your bag and takes them to her reliquary, hoping to gild them until they’ve reached a level of sparkle that satisfies even her.

Maybe some two-legged cookies are worth getting to know, if you like the same things that she likes. If you make White Pearl happy, you can’t be too bad.

Given her powers of foresight, Mystic Opal Cookie has very little trouble finding where you’ll be or what you might want, often drifting into sight to offer up a warm shroud or a nutritious snack, then slinking back into the shadows without a further word. She won’t never indulge to you her visions, but it’s safe to assume that you’re at least in them.

Crimson Coral Cookie doesn’t exactly like having a dubious and dying land cookie in their ward, but like her other sisters, understands that you basically can’t do anything to harm them without ensuring a death sentence for yourself, and you’re clearly not stupid, so… she allows your presence to slide.

Once she sees how happy you make her littlest sister, Crimson Coral does genuinely lighten up and make a decent effort to understand you, especially if you have knowledge of aquatic animals- it’s an easy thing to bond over.

I’m guessing that this particular Y/N might be something like “Shoal Scavenger Cookie”, “Seaweed Sailor Cookie”, or maybe “Tide Tracker Cookie”- having ties to the sea certainly helps them earn the trust of the Gem Mermaids by proving that you aren’t too different in terms of what you and they cherish.

With components like seafoam or algae in your dough, you’re surprisingly resist to growing soggy in the water, even more so when you’re granted a jewel to ward off the condition entirely- albeit in the form of a bracelet or necklace that locks tight around your dough and can’t be removed by hand.

Gold Citrine enjoys dressing you in a dazzling array of glittery and luxurious clothing, often custom-tailoring flowing garbs that sway with each gentle wave that billows through Tearcrown… though she often forgets that you don’t have a tail.

(…not that they aren’t looking for a way to give you one.)

Darkfam

Y/N is a Cake Hound Cookie. There’s no way around it. Red Velvet Cookie finds your little form after it toddles out of the oven, delirious from heat and fear, shivering and quaking- and he fucking snaps.

You’re him.

A mixture of Cookie and Cake, beast and being, in a neat package with a tail that nervously wags as he brings food to your mouth, his clawed hand cupped around the back of your little head, feeling your squishy strawberry ears…

You are a seamless culmination that he can only dream of being.

In reverence and awe, he brings you back to his master’s lair.

For all that Licorice Cookie isn’t on board with having a freshly baked cookie on the team (especially with how much trouble Poison Mushroom Cookie causes him), he’s also aware that letting a child who is immediately and unmistaken visible as “half-monster” wander freely in the world would be worse, and the mage doesn’t have it in his heart to send you off after you’ve already settled in.

As for the shroom-fanatic themself, Poison Mushroom Cookie essentially just clings to you and offers an endless supply of “shroomies” with abated glee, constantly hanging from your sleeves and tugging on your tail as you go about the day, just happy to have a new friend after a certain swordsman left…

Pomegranate Cookie graciously agrees that Red Velvet should keep you alongside his other Cake Hounds, if only because she’s intrigued to see what you’ll be capable of doing. After all, another set of hands to aid their master isn’t exactly a bad thing- and you very well may have powers granted to you by nature of your birth as a cookie-cake amalgamation. In time, she comes to treat you as she treats Poison Mushroom- almost as a troublesome little sibling who needs watching over.

Never one to spurn decent company, Schwarzwälder is happy to have a cookie young enough to do as he says- you’re probably too young to grasp his born name, and settle for calling him “Brute”. I imagine he’s got some decent ground rules for being a canine, knowing what you can or can’t eat, what methods for tending to your ears and tails is best, etc, etc… probably the safest yandere we’ve gone over so far.

Perpetually confused at the new and strange world around you, your eyes are frequently wide and your face pulled into a contemplative frown, overwhelmed with all that your sensitive ears and nose pick up on.

Red Velvet wants to be the one who does your hair, but his cake hand makes it nearly impossible to complete without damaging your frosted strands, so Pomegranate or Licorice will do it instead. Poison Mushroom will, uh, “try”… but their version of “trying” is to braid little mushrooms into the frosting.

(A+ for effort, Poison Mushroom Cookie.)

However, Red Velvet does get to help keep your ears glossy and tail clean, spending hours each week tending to your canine appendages. He’s got specialized polish (by Schwarzwälder’s recommendation) for the strawberry ears that flick and swivel with each barked order and every little coo, and a brush for the cream dollop tail that waggles at Bat-Cat and Schwarzwälder’s antics.

All your clothes are custom-sewn, of course. Red Velvet simply won’t tolerate any less than the about best for his favorite little soldier.

Once Pomegranate has grown fond of you, she’ll take to stitching any tears or fraying in your clothes, mending them with a sleek red and black thread that resembles her beloved master’s color scheme.

(Schwarzwälder is probably your favorite, though- after all, he’s the only other dog!)

[tytarax]

I already finished Zou arc (I'm suffering with Sanji, and the masochism of liking one of his brothers rn), but I just can't stop thinking about everything that happened and this scenario has been living in my mind for days now.

I also realized that if it's about one piece, I'm into furries minks

Being Duke Dogstorm's wife only caused him to want to keep you safe when he heard the intruders bell sound. Everyone knew what was coming. They're coming for Raizo, the ninja from the land of Wano.

"Please, my love, stay here" He begged as he stood up from beside you. You were looking down as you held back tears. "Just... promise me you will come back" You were already tired of him telling you that you couldn't go with him, you resigned yourself and all you could do was pray that everything would turn out well.

After a goodbye kiss, you were left alone in the forest fortress, where several townspeople were already arriving. As a figure of authority, you couldn't just stand there doing nothing, you had to give your people hope. So, doing your best to ignore the sound of the houses falling and the screams, you dedicated yourself to taking care of the others and not showing fear in the face of the threat of the pirates Beast and Jack, their leader.

---

Three days passed, everything was silent, and your heart was broken from listening to the pleas of your people begging these monsters to stop their torture. You were already ready to return to the city to see with your own eyes that everyone was still alive… at least you had the hope.

But one of the soldiers who managed to reach the fortress asked you not to go to the city… that no one should go, since as a last measure, the pirates used poison gas bombs and it was highly dangerous to go.

You were a stubborn person, but you ended up staying anyway. Still, you couldn't help but worry about everyone being okay… about your husband being okay.

Sometime later, you heard a rumor that some pirates had arrived in Zou, the Straw Hat Pirates. And they were willing to help save everyone's lives.

The days dragged on, each one filled with a mix of dread and anticipation. You continued to oversee the forest fortress, ensuring that everyone was safe and cared for, but your thoughts were never far from the city and Dogstorm.

Until one day, you finally saw him, and if your heart was already broken... it shattered. He was unconscious, still alive, but yet so harmed, blood all over his face, scars, and what horrified you the most was seeing that they had cut off one of his legs. How far were those monsters capable of going?

---

"You-teia have my gratitude," you said looking at the saviors of the mink tribe, who had introduced themselves as Nami, Sanji, Chopper, and Brook, a corpse-like hero who looks very delicious. "Oh, it's never a problem to help a beautiful mademoiselle like you! Garchu, ____-san!" Sanji said with heart-shaped eyes while standing beside you and you responded to his garchu. "Garchu, Sanji-kun"

"I believe Duke Dogstorm will wake up in a while, I don't know when tho..." Chopper exhaled as he removed the stethoscope from his ears and jumped off of the bed. "Thank you, doctor Chopper."

Chopper blushed, rubbing the back of his head bashfully. "It's nothing, really. I'm just glad I could help."

"By the way, Wanda, why don't you-teia show them around in the meantime? Miyagi, Tristan, and I will take care of Duke Dogstorm. Go enjoy for a while," you suggested smiling.

Wanda nodded, her ears twitching slightly. "Of course, Lady ____. I can show them around. Follow me," she said, gesturing for the, at the moment, Curly Hat Pirates to follow her. As they left, you turned your attention back to Dogstorm, "You-teia will get through this, my love. You-teia are the strongest person I know."

---

More days have passed, the Duke still hasn't woken up. However, just a few hours ago you heard about the arrival of the rest of the Straw Hat crew.

So, you gave the order to have a welcome banquet, which they gladly attended. Likewise, you asked Tristan and Miyagi to attend the banquet, and take a break.

"Step aside Shishilian, I've come to bring something to Lady ____" you heard Pedro's voice on the other side of the door, interrupted by Shishilian's "And for what reason would they have sent you-gara?" He said at "full power" as always.

"Let him in Shishilian" you raised your voice a little so he could hear you on the other side of the door, "Oh, as you-gara say your highness" he said as he opened the door and let Pedro in.

"Lady ____, how are you-gara doing" Pedro asked approaching. "I'm doing fine, Pedro, thanks for asking. What brings you-teia here?" you asked curiously. "I'm here to bring you-gara some food of the banquet for the straw hats, I was told you-gara haven't been eating well since..."

"Why, thank you, Pedro, that's really nice. Please give them my apologies for not coming to introduce myself yet, " You said smiling lovely. Pedro handed you the tray of food and looked at the Duke for a moment. "How's Duke Dogstorm doing?" "He's doing fine, as far as I know, still we don't know when he'll wake up," You said looking at your husband with worry before looking at Pedro. "I see... I hope the best for him and you-gara" "Thank you, Pedro."

Pedro said goodbye as he headed to the banquet and you were left alone again, occasionally trying a bite of food. All of a sudden, there was a slight movement. His eyes fluttered open, and he looked around, disoriented.

"My love," you whispered, tears of relief streaming down your face. "You're awake." He looked at you with relief in his eyes "____... sorry for making you-gara worry"

You shook your head reassuring him, "It's fine" It wasn't fine, he knew it, you knew it "At least it's finally over. A pirate crew named the Straw Hat Pirates came arrived here and helped us, I'm truly grateful" You said smiling with tears threatening to come out. He brought his big paw close to your face and wiped away your tears. "I see, then I'm grateful too"

You looked out the window for a moment and saw the monkey mink picking some fruits. "Bariete" you said, getting his attention. "Hm?" "Go tell everyone that Duke Dogstorm has woken up, please."

"Yes, of course! I'm so glad!" He said as he ran off to the room where they were having a banquet. You both laughed softly at the mink's enthusiasm. You remembered something when you saw the newspaper that had arrived a few days ago.

"On the other hand," you said as you stood up from his side and picked up the newspaper, "this news arrived a little while ago, it says that Jack supposedly died after trying to rescue Doflamingo from the hands of the Marines. And about Doflamingo, it was the Straw Hats themselves who defeated him, that was what caused Jack to leave."

"These Straw Hats piqued my curiosity…" Dogstorm said as he grabbed the newspaper from your hands. "They're good kids, I'm sure of that." You said as you walked over to give him a well-deserved amount of garchus before everyone else arrived.

Part 2

Masterpost

OP Masterlist

[nothingenoughao3]

Hello, I read your fic Dreams in the Necromancer House and just wanted to say I'm really enjoying it. The images are so vivid, I don't know how you do it. And so I was wondering if I could ask where did you get your inspiration from. As in, if you add references about certain books or history or traditions where do you find them? Wikipedia? I'm just curious about how to do research. Specifically the tag that says Lovecraftian cults, tbh I have no clue about the H.P.Lovecraft universe. I just think it's really interesting.

Also, I am probably going to read it again because I'm sure I've missed out on some details. Anyways, have a nice day.

Hey, thank you for the thoughtful ask! This is the sort of question writers dream about receiving.

Here is the not-so-secret and not-so-glamorous process for how I compile references for my works (not just this one--this L4D2 series took a LOT of research, and so did that one SuperBat fic).

For me, the earliest creative process is kaleidoscopic: I'll have multiple scenes that don't seem like they all fit together spinning around in my head, and "the plot" is what happens when I try to make them all line up and become one coherent thing. Usually, there are the Scenes Of Pure Inspiration which arrive out of nowhere, followed by the Scenes Of Pure Necessity that have to happen to support the Pure Inspiration, and then one or two Scenes Of Damn Wouldn't That Be Cool that come up as I play different scenarios out in my head. Once it's over, I'll probably discuss the Scenes Of Pure Inspiration from "Dreams" more in detail.

Then I start doing outlines. Yes, I construct outlines for my fanfics, just as I do for my original works. There are far too many tiny moving parts in a story for them not to be contained in an outline--even if you move them to a different spot later, the damn things'll get lost in the sofa cushions if you don't keep them in a container of some kind. (I hope this metaphor hasn't gotten away from me.)

Dreams has three outlines--the one I wrote while still generating ideas, the one I wrote to establish timelines more firmly, and then an annotated one that has all the references I've sprinkled throughout the story. So I do consider this to be a vital part of the process. There will be a fourth notation file I generate when I do my final editing pass after it's all published, too! That one will cover me stating stuff about character histories and little story details, so that (for an example that really happened) I don't have Armitage giving a flask of whiskey to Herbert which later turns into a flask of Everclear.

Now where does the research bit come in? For me, when I do my extremely-detailed outline or when I start writing.

For details regarding history, science, politics, and the like, I generally rely on Googling, same as anyone else (excluding results after the year 2021 if I'm not finding what I need). Better than this, though, is books. I used to collect books that were writers' references--one of my favorites was a guide to poisons, both "the most likely poisons used in a murder mystery" AND "how to design your own poison/toxin/venom". Also guidebooks for TTRPGs, sacred texts, gardening guides, etc. I currently have a book series called "The Home Doctor" that teaches you how to do baseline veterinary and human medicine (according to the early 1900s). I don't have that because I plan on using it for its intended purpose, but I did use it to research a L4D2 fic where someone's leg gets amputated--and I even had the characters in the fic owning those same books!

What really matters for a story like Dreams, though, is thematic feel. I think folks will forgive me if I were to mention a musical band that didn't exist in 1987/8, but far less so if I didn't nail the feel of 1987/8, or of cosmic horror. So while I am writing a story, I immerse not only in the source material (if it's a fanfic), but also in music, movies, books, comics, and etc. that "feel right". I'll draw off those media for further inspiration, because let's face it, creativity is knowing what to steal and how to steal it. (I didn't say that--Tarantino did.)

The key here is that I don't stop interacting with research and creative works when I'm not writing. I'll flip through my books or go down a rabbit hole of "what the hell is THAT scientific concept about" or learn about magical rituals every day that I can. If the compilation of research material looks easy or fast when I do it, it's because I'm always doing it and I know how to narrow it down!

For Dreams, I could go "Oh, here's a list of all the stories and movies and etc. I want to build off of" because I already had all of those things in my mental wheelhouses. If you wanted it, here is a specific list of the actual non-Lovecraftian works that thematically support and inspire Dreams in the Necromancer House:

Prince of Darkness (1987)+

Hereditary (2018)*

The Guy Who Didn't Like Musicals (2019)

Stir of Echoes (1999)

Mandy (2018)

Skeleton Crew, Nightmares and Dreamscapes, and Everything's Eventual by Stephen King: specifically, "Nona", "1408", "Mrs. Todd's Shortcut", "Gramma"+, "Autopsy Room Four", and "That Feeling, You Can Only Say What It Is In French"

Black Butterflies and Heatseeker by John Shirley: specifically "Cram", "Tahiti In Terms of Squares", "The Almost Empty Rooms", "Woodgrains"

The King in Yellow by Robert Chalmers

Twin Peaks

Music: "We Will Commit Wolf Murder" by of Montreal, "Leather Jacket" by Ben Folds Five, "It Must Have Been Love" by Roxette, "Over & Over" by Rio Romeo, "No One's Around To Help" by JerryTerry

The Arkham Horror board game

"The Mysterious Stranger/An Angel Named Satan" from The Adventures of Mark Twain

And since you were asking about Lovecraft's universe, here are the stories that went into this particular tale. All of his stuff is treated as being in the public domain, so you can easily find it on sites like Project Gutenberg or wikis:

"The Case of Charles Dexter Ward"+

"The Thing on the Doorstep"+

"The Dunwich Horror"+

"The Colour Out of Space", as well as the film adaptation Color Out of Space (2019)

"Pickman's Model"

"The Call of Cthulhu"*

"The Shadow Over Innsmouth"*

And of course, "Dreams in the Witch-House"+

The ones marked with an * are the most detailed stories regarding what I mean by "Lovecraftian cults", and the ones with a + are good demonstrations of wizardry/magic systems that supported this work.

[danthediamondminecart]

Hi, Yandan! I have some questions for you:

Question 1: Is sketch perhaps some sort of glitched entity? Because, I had this idea that the reason sketch has a redacted bar on his eyes is due to him being some sort of error itself, and entity that isnt supposed to be created from existence.

Question 2: What shampoo does bigb use? PLEASE I NEED TO KNOW HIS HAIR IS SO FLUFFY-

Question 3: Why does Kreek never bother to brush his god forsaken hair?

Question 4: I know Devon can't pass captcha Test, But is there one time where he failed a captcha test really badly?

Question 5: Are there any anthropomorphic animal hybrids on roblox, if so is Booshot an Anthropomorphic Dog hybrid? (Just got this question out of my head due to my Talking Tom and friends fixation)

Question 6: Has there been anyone who mistook PinkLeaf as an Angel the first time they met them?

Question 7: What is the most ridiculous yet utterly funny/obscured thing any Robloxian/ RBB hosts has done?

Question 8: Since wildlife is happening right now, is Bigb not on Robloxia currently if so does any of the Robloxians knew about this?

Question 10: Since Russo's sword can unveil secrets and stuff, does that mean Russo is fully aware of the Life Series and Bigb's involvement with said series? (This is not BLSMP related)

Question 11: Are there certain foods some battlers are not allowed to eat? Since technically half of them are animal hybrids.

That's all!

Sorry I responded to this so late!! I'd been saving some of the questions to go into detail and then shit hit the fan so I kinda just forgot. But I'm here now! Wiith a bit less detail than I'd like, but as I said, shit hit the fan, so forgive me.

Answers under the cut:

Q1) Sketch isn't quite a glitch entity either. He’s a cryptid, certainly - the hint to his species I’ll give now is that the censor bar is censoring something man wasn’t meant to see.

Q2) Trauma. Okay, that’s a joke. I genuinely don’t know though - probably something fancy though, BigB gives off the impression of caring about his appearance. Then again, his Minecraft clothes are perpetually covered in blood, so...

Q3) Kreek has better things to be doing, in his eyes. Like working on whatever investigation he’s looking into or recording news updates for all of Robloxia. He doesn’t have the two minutes to brush his hair when at least two million people rely on him to keep them safe. (Is it any wonder that man's so tired all the time?)

Q4) Yes. Devoun’s not good with captchas, like, at all. His programming isn’t built to deal them. He probably gets MiniToon’s help lol

Q5) Nothing ‘anthropomorphic’, the hybrids themselves can be considered anthro animals actually. Booshot’s just a dog hybrid, for example.

Q6) Yes. Tanqr was one of them, though he didn’t really care about it. Pink doesn’t bother correcting people.

Q7) Once again. Read The Roomba Incident and get back to me. (It’s late, I’m not the best w/ scenarios off the top of my head lol)

Q8) Yeah, BigB’s not in Robloxia right now. No one knows except maybe Think and Ryguy? But they only know he’s in Minecraftia, not about the Life Series itself.

Q9 (well, 10) ) No. Russo knows that BigB has involvement with Minecraftia, but in order to know about the Life Series specifically, he’d have to use his powers on BigB directly. Which he doesn’t, because he has no reason to.

Q10/11) Yes, but off the top of my head, I can’t list any specifics. For what I can list: Calixo’s a carnivore, so he probably can’t eat veggies and the like. He seems like the type of guy to wish he could eat plant stuff though. Flamingo is actually immune to a lot of poisons that affect humans, eg capsaicin. (Not a poison, but was supposed to be). He uses this to his advantage a lot, pretending he loves spicy food when in reality he can’t feel spice at all. Booshot can’t eat chocolate in large amounts (the human DNA offsets it, so he can eat small bits). This makes him very sad because he loves chocolate.

[theggning]

AA3 spoilers: I've always assumed Godot died at the prosecutors bench, due to him being a barely functioning heavily medicated poison victim with a stab wound that went without heat, medication, or food for as long as Maya did. But I'm very intrigued at the thought of what a man who has truly lost all purpose like him would do if he survived. Do you have any thoughts on his future? Will he pick a third even dumber name?

Sup friend. I'm actually a "Diego lives" truther 'til the day I die. Because what's the point of a redemption arc/realization like his if he immediately dies anyway? (Though I wouldn't be surprised if he passed out in the lobby and ended up in the hospital, he HAS been pushing himself a lot the past few days.)

The thing is, I really don't think Diego has lost all purpose. I think HE thinks that, but it's much more compelling that he now has to snap himself out of that mindset-- the same delusion that made him pick up "Godot" in the first place. He's got a crime to atone for now, yes, but he's also got a Maya who has FIRMLY forgiven him and welcomed him into her circle. A Phoenix who's also come to understand him and wants to know the man behind the mask. He can't get Mia back, but you also can't tell me that she would want him to keep suffering for her. She'd want him to work on accepting himself, dealing with his grief, getting the therapy he so desperately needs, and enjoying what's left of the life he does have, even if it's not the one either of them wanted.

(As it turns out I wrote this fic exactly...)

Personally, I think (and thus in all of my fanworks and suppositions on the topic) Diego gets out of the system pretty quickly. I'm a huge proponent of any and all "Weird Uncle Diego" scenarios, where he's welcomed by and like family to the Feys. I like him eventually embracing his other great love and opening a coffee shop, becoming a weird local cryptid in the legal scene. I want him to find peace and I also want him to take up a future that @tanaleth and I gushed about and have named "the ghostwife meta" in which he and Mia have an unconventional, but still very devoted relationship for the rest of his life.

[squadrah]

From My CuriousCat

"Headcanons for epidemics at the La Squadra home base? Maybe it's the flu season, or maybe it is mass food poisoning, - assassins are getting sick left and right. thoughts, vibes, scenarios?"

I will go with general sickness!

My very first thought was that Prosciutto recovers the quickest - not because he's healthy or his immune system is strong, but because he has no qualms about blasting himself repeatedly with The Grateful Dead until the virus/bacteria/etc. is purged from his system. He also uses The Grateful Dead to fumigate his apartment and any other place he passes through, so he is an extremely effective killer of air-borne diseases. The only problem is, no member of La Squadra is willing to let him use The Grateful Dead on them directly except for Gelato from time to time, which means they must suffer through their illnesses as best they can and Prosciutto is stuck going to the pharmacy and procuring food for them while they do that.

(Just imagine Prosciutto in a white suit with a red shirt underneath going about the base checking in on everyone and doing what he has to and that's basically my vision of La Squadra when ill, lmaooo.)

Risotto is usually very stout, but when he gets sick he's prone to lamenting his existence and his choices. Whether he's sick or not, though, he always feels like a furnace so sicker members will definitely congregate to him for warmth. Very grateful for any attention.

Pesci, like Risotto, is very resilient and often helps Prosciutto run errands for the sick and offers positivity at this trying time. When he gets sick, it really is just that bad. Whenever illness gets to him, he caves into the weakness and dissolves into a whining mess, but nobody can stay angry or annoyed with him for long, so it's fine.

Formaggio is the type that gets sick, tries to take care of himself, fails repeatedly, and finally they're like "JUST GO BACK TO BED, ASSHOLE!" and nurse him properly. Very cuddly when ill, and makes terrible jokes about it, so some patience is required.

Illuso gets one whiff of illness going about and he immediately retreats to the mirror world, locking out all germs. He has a pair of unused rubber gloves on his person at all times for such emergencies, and will reach out of the mirror wearing those if he needs anything. Will not help anyone, he's too worried about contracting their diseases despite technically having the means of purging himself with his ability. Old habits of wanting to get away from the nastiness of other people's sickness die hard.

Melone is already sickly, so if he gets sicker it's pretty much an emergency. Thankfully the others keep tabs on him and Baby Face laptop searching for pills around the living area is a good indicator that Melone needs help ASAP. A very patient sufferer, however, so despite his conditions, he is one of the easiest to look after.

Ghiaccio on the other hand is the angry sufferer. He hates life a lot but BOY does he fucking hate life if he's sick on top of it. Grumbles endlessly until he's hoarse. No comfort to anyone whatsoever. He's sometimes cared for in isolation because he makes the rest even more miserable.

Sorbet is only a notch below Ghiaccio because he also hates suffering and the unpleasant physical biproducts of illness, particularly clamminess and migraines. You would normally think of him as placid and nonchalant, but the moment he's down, he sours like vinegar and has a low but acrid rant locked and loaded for anyone who talks to him unnecessarily while he's languishing.

Meanwhile, Gelato absolutely refuses to be ill. Like Formaggio, he will take to self-medicating, but unlike Formaggio, he is more successful because 1) he is willing to ask Prosciutto to blast the culprits out of his system, and 2) before he ever asks Prosciutto, he will crawl to his cabinet, get the navy rum out, and swallow enough in one go to knock himself unconscious. Whenever he wakes up, he's usually almost back to normal. Everyone hates this.

[lkblackham]

Interested in going full cottage core? Here's some stuff you need to expect (from a hobbit-lookin' gal who grew up in the woods):

1) dead animals. Dead rodents, specifically. No matter how well you clean, the mice and rats will come. And your cat will find them. And they will bring their bloodied corpses to you and expect praise. If you do not have cats (which automatically disqualifies you from being cottage core, sorry I don't make the rules), small furry creatures will find other ways to die inside your house. You will find them in your attic. You will find them in your drawers. You will find them under your bed. They are most definitely inside your walls. You may not know it, but you definitely have a wall full of dead squirrels.

Also, *do not get a pool*. It's just another place for cute animals to die and then be discovered by your very impressionable and easily traumatized young children. Also, they're impossible to keep clean. If you're truly cottage core, you swim in a river or lake or ice-cold pond created by the snowmelt. It's better for the drought anyway.

2) BIG dead animals. You want to keep goats? Maybe sheep? That's great. Just know that at least three of them will die suddenly at the worst time, either from snakebite or illness or coyote attack or because they literally just decided to lie down under a nice tree and peacefully pass with literally no explanation. And then you will have to figure out how to bury them. And then how to have the Death Talk with your young, impressionable children who may or may not already be traumatized by the drowned fox they found in the pool a week ago.

Besides good fencing/livestock shelters, or maybe getting a livestock gaurdian dog/donkey/llama (no, I am not joking), there is nothing you can do about the mountain lions, bears and coyotes eating your animals. They were there before you. They will be there after you and the rest of humanity are gone. It's harsh, but that is what the song from the Lion King was actually about: Mufasa's right to eat everyone there.

Speaking of which:

3) you share the land. You do not own it. Oh, you think the bear cares that you bought this patch of forest with money and you don't like him eating your goats and/or peaches?? You can try showing him the deed and the NO TRESPASSING signs, but somehow I don't think that'll work.

Nature does not care. It will do as it does. No matter how good you are at singing and how many birds you befriend. Again, harsh. But not utterly insane. If you respect nature, it will not respect you, but you will at least know what to expect. So gopher-proof your garden. And get a cat.

4) coyote howling is actually quite lovely. Once you get over how eerie it sounds.

5) frogs are LOUD. They are so FREAKING loud. Some nights they will be SO loud you will not be able to sleep. Do not entice them into your yard with a pond unless you are willing to bear the consequences.

6) birds are LOUD. There is no need for a morning alarm, they ARE your alarm. You may think this sounds lovely, but you may not be feeling that way at 6 am on a Saturday after being kept up all night by the frogs.

7) think you'll go barefoot everywhere? Or at least have a good pair of Birkenstocks? No, my child, you will need to invest in at least 6 pairs of gumboots that will mostly be mud by the time spring comes around. Hiking boots are for summer. Unless you're ready for poison oak and ticks. Again, there is nothing you can do about that. Unless you are willing to take the risk and get a brush-eating goat. Even then, remember the snakes I mentioned earlier?

8) you will get desensitized to horror movie scenarios real quick. A cabin in the woods? Bro, that's my house. A pair of red eyes in the dark? That's just a coyote. Maybe a wandering dog. And even if it was a demon, how would it get in my house? That sucker's locked up tight. Creepy noises at night? Like, say, a woman screaming? That's probably a mountain lion or a fox. Yeah, they do that.

You quickly find that the bad things actually tend to happen to people who did not do their nature research as I explained above. Like, say, camping with grizzly bears. Or eating something they found in the woods. What kind of idiot are you??? The kind that eats berries they don't know the name of but think they look like blackberries. That's who.

9) what neighbors you have, may not be the... friendliest. There's a reason people move out this far, and it's usually to get away from other people. Are they marijuana farmers? Probably. Do they want to murder you? What, no, they don't want to get into trouble. They moved here to AVOID trouble. Just keep yourself to yourself and you'll be fine. But definitely make some friends in town. There is a town near you, right?

10) once you get over that initial learning curve/trauma, you will find that the forest actually is a really peaceful place to live. You know the patterns. You learn to read the weather. You are at peace with the fact that your beloved goats may die, but for now, you have succeeded in protecting them. As scary as the wilderness can be, it's far less scary than living with other humans. I'd rather deal with the peach-stealing bear (I am SO onto you) than the creepy dude who lives in the apartment below mine. Humans are far more unpredictable and weird than nature is. But that's just my *opinion*.

Okay, them's my thoughts. Anyone want to add/critique?

[casliveblog]

Custom Toonami Block Week 149 Rundown

Spy X Family: So yeah Anya’s got midterms and if she does really well she gets a gym badge but if she fails she gets an anti-gym badge for every subject she flunked so wiping out means she’d be halfway to failing entirely. The family gets Yuri to tutor her and makes some feigns towards plot progression from the dog arc but honestly I kinda really like the Yuri/Anya dynamic, like they’re both completely unhinged in the exact opposite ways so one of them is always saying something crazy as soon as the other comes back to sense. Though even though he manages to give her some motivation, Anya’s basically the opposite of a Mary Sue and is terrible at everything and can never improve so it doesn’t really work. They also mention that she loses her powers during a New Moon like she’s fucking Inuyasha or something but she hasn’t really been reading minds during tests in the first place, like initially she said she just didn’t know who was good at what subject yet so she wasn’t sure whose mind to read but it’s MID-TERMS I feel like she should probably have a good idea by now but even on other tests where she has her powers she’s doing crappily. Also there’s this weird little skit where Loid’s following this guy that’s a terrible spy trying to break in and change the grades while he’s ALSO trying to break in and change the grades and it just kinda makes everything more difficult. This guy strikes me as the kind of guy that thinks he’s a Rogue in a D&D campaign and he can just bluff and duck his way into top level shit completely ignoring the reality of how tight real security is. The guy’s ego’s so big he just lets Loid go as a witness and Loid just undoes the work he was doing to make the Desmond kids fail (which Loid theorizes was done by a political rival but I’mma say it was Desmond himself kicking his kids in the teeth because he’s an asshole and is like ‘failure will make you stronger, try sucking less’ because it would be more dramatic) Loid’s about to change Anya’s grades but he finds out she just barely passed everything so he lets her keep the mediocre score she earned because if he suddenly made her good enough to get a gym badge it’d be hella suspicious and not getting any anti-gym badges is best case scenario really. Though they show her grades and they’re in… the 30s? Like they show they’re still on a 100 point scale so like, how is a 30 passing? Everywhere I’ve been under a 60 is an F and some are more strict than even that so what kind of education system for this snobby prep school lets kids get away with 30s?

Inuyasha: So this episode is basically the fallout of everyone being like ‘wait was that fucking Kikyo?’ last episode, Not!Kikyo wipes out all of Abi’s birds and just kinda runs off and we get the usual ‘oh gosh Kikyo was mentioned so Inuyasha’s gonna be wistful for three episodes and Kagome’s gonna be mildly annoyed at everything because neither of them can make up their damn minds’ which to be fair they kind of curtail the period of it at this point in the series but after seeing it so often it’s really getting old, especially since her supposed death at Mt. Hakurei had its own little mini-arc, like we keep giving Kikyo closure and she keeps just coming back. But yeah they head off to meet her and Inuyasha’s kinda wishy-washy about wanting to go so he separates from the others to down some mook demons that only take him like five seconds anyway and he meets Kikyo’s avatar and her new attendants and turns out they’re all just Shikikami and Kagura’s happy to see Kikyo’s probably still alive because that pisses Naraku off but she gives up because she’s definitely not ten feet away in a Minority Report pool. Kagome gets through a barrier to see the REAL Kikyo who’s in a Minority Report pool trying to sleep off the poison and… death I guess.

Yu Yu Hakusho: This one’s a super exposition-heavy episode and spoilers but at the end we learn that part or all of it might be bullshit so it feels like one of those Attack on Titan episodes where they spend the whole episode planning a thing and then it just goes tits up at the very end of the episode and they have to wing it anyway. Essentially the three bald men that visit Yusuke are guys basically as strong as him and Hiei/Kurama but they’re using demonic pacemakers to put them on mook level so the barrier lets them through. In Demon World there’s three kings, the ‘let’s not eat humans’ guy, the ‘let’s maybe eat humans in moderation’ guy and the ‘let’s eat all the humans’ guy, and luckily Yusuke’s ancestor is the first one and not the last one but that also means he’s dying because he’s essentially been on a GOOP diet of bullshit for the past thousand years and that means war’s about to break out thanks to the power vacuum in Demon World. Now basically most of what Yusuke heard of all that is these bald-headed freaks think they’re stronger than him so he demands a fight. Turns out the leader’s ability is basically Luffy if he was in Parasyte the Maxim and he does some bullshit to tie Yusuke up and stab him in a despite still wearing his demon pacemaker and neither me or Yusuke buy that shit and he just fucking breaks the guy’s neck and asks if they love their king so much how come they still eat humans against his wishes. It’s a pretty good moment of Yusuke putting on his Phoenix Wright hat and actually outsmarting the bad guys while they’re still in the ‘we’re the new arc villains and we’re stronger than you’ phase so yeah he calls out them lying to him and puts them on the spot for how much of the story is exactly true.

Jujutsu Kaisen: Megumi and blind archer guy are having their fight and there’s more clan rich people eugenics bullshit and blind guy has the power of Gear Second and Deadman Wonderland and just wants his slutty mom to be a slutty happy mom Megumi’s just like ‘fuck you and your slutty mom you’re not killing my friend’ but uhh yeah I’ve been comparing this arc to the Chunin Exams and we’re officially at the Sand Village attacking part because the big boss spirit and all the other spirits they were supposed to be hunting get wiped out by the one-armed spirit’s Wood Style and they erect a specifically anti-Gojo barrier to keep his overpowered ass out of this fight. So yeah Scar-sensei and old dude go in to help and apparently old dude wields the power of Goofy Goober Rock which makes that one scene in the opening make a lot more sense in retrospect. Megumi, Blind Dude and Sushi Boy get swept up by the one armed cursed spirit and turns out they’re basically the reverse of a Captain Planet villain and just want people to stop polluting and shit and they’ll kill them all and more surprisingly a GIRL, I mean this is why cartoons give everything female long eyelashes because I couldn’t fucking tell and I guess she’s just got her tits out all the time but she’s got enough muscle that it doesn’t matter. So yeah we’ve got one of the main boss henchmen dropping in to say hello and judging by the preview and the opening she’s gonna head to Yuji next time, weird since I thought their plan was to trap Gojo in a Hyper Cube and you’d figure literally isolating him from everyone else would make a great time to try that but we’ll see I guess.

Zom 100: So this one’s kind of a rough one, like I’ll probably get to it at the end but there’s a lot of good points for this episode but also some stuff that bugs me a bit. Akira and Kencho have made a little mancave on top of the roof from last episode and inexplicably the power STILL works, like my god whoever’s keeping the electricity on during the zombie apocalypse deserves a raise. Kencho finds Akira’s bucket list and starts adding his own stuff to it, saying he’s going to see Akira’s journey through to the end now. They talk about the list a bit and how Akira has dating a flight attendant on the list because I guess that’s a fetish? But turns out Akira has never had a girlfriend at all and stupidly tells Kencho he’ll have one by the end of the day. So shelving that they decide to go shopping for a big-screen tv and end up trapped in a department store with one shady guy and three ladies who happen to be… flight attendants! Like I joked at the beginning of this show that Akira’s just had a mental break and there are no zombies and he’s just insane but if this world is real it really does seem to be bending to fit his crazy ideas. So yeah, the oldest and objectively coolest flight attendant gets drunk and bitten by the shady guy when he turns into a zombie and Kencho just straight up bangs the other one in the mattress department while Akira has a tender moment with the moe-est of them right after she makes it super clear there’s no romantic connection. Still they talk and Akira gives his usual deal about not letting your dreams be dreams and gets this girl excited to continue living her dream… just in time for her to die by getting bitten by the shady guy. Now notably they don’t make Akira mercy kill her, this is still mostly a comedy series and we’re not trying to heap Carl Grimes levels of trauma on our genki protagonist bur yeah she admits she’s content with the fun date they had and got to make people feel better during her job so she’s okay with Akira and Kencho getting the hell out of dodge, with Akira wanting to find out what his childhood dream was since Kencho has one and the moe attendant girl gave a pretty good speech about her own motivations and Akira admits to himself that his advertizing dream was just him getting caught up in a drive for success rather than something he really wanted to do. So yeah, cool story but like it’s hard to ignore this whole episode is just a long drawn out way to fridge these three girls, like straight up SAO Saki traumadumping by making these girls as moe as possible without giving them too much character development so we feel just bad enough when they die and it feels a little manipulative for a series that zig-zags how serious the zombies actually are so it leaves a slight sour taste in my mouth, like I can see the cogs of manipulation turning but that doesn’t mean they aren’t still effective cause damn it was sad to watch those girls die.

Ranking of Kings: Daida!Bosse is telling Snake Guy about how Miranjo’s family is from a kingdom that is the origin of magic and as such they were like ‘man fuck the gods’ and went to the Asshole Kingdom to recruit assholes to help them fight the gods but the Assholes of Asshole Kingdom were, shocker, asssholes, and turned on them and killed Miranjo’s mom as soon as things looked bad. Also all the gods are giant dudes that wear masks similar to Ouken’s, not sure if that’s relevant.Hilling meets back up with Spear Guy, Sword Guy, and Kirito and gets hyped for Bojji’s new powers while healing Spear Guy and sending the three of them off to help Bojji who is meanwhile still fighting Ouken. Despa and the Guard Captain show up because Bojji’s got this but he’s basically fighting that one round of the Seath the Scaleless fight where he just heals infinitely and it sucks. Though it turns out Despa has no practical power of his own and was calling in an airdrop from Desha this whole time so I guess he related to Bojji a lot more than we thought. Ouken’s figured out how to get around the lightning spam and stabs both Despa and the captain to let them bleed out because that’s his favorite thing to do despite killing anyone in this series already being hard enough without your main technique being ‘death monologue sword’ like I get it’s basically a pacifist series that promots Bojji’s kind-heartedness as the way of the future but people keep dodging these bullets so often I don’t have any confidence anyone’s actually going to die. Anyway Ouken goes after Kage next and manages to stab Bojji in the leg when he goes to protect him so now Bojji can’t dodge which is like his whole thing, but Kage turns into a giant shadow creature and eats Ouken so there’s that I guess.

Vinland Saga: So Thorfinn fights Thorkell in earnest and I think they just straight-up reuse some of the stuff from the opening but it’s pretty cool so it’s okay. Thorkell’s armored and huge so even though Thorfinn can dance around him all day he can’t really do more than give him papercuts. Thorkell makes fun of Thorfinn’s skill with a blade since he’s fast and strong but he basically just punches shit with daggers in his hands and Thorfinn calls him out on lecturing someone that’s fighting evenly with him and Thorkell tells him he wants to find his missing link too and hopes to find it through battle so he asks Thorfinn what it means to be a True Warrior which reminds Thorfinn of his dad’s death and how he’s currently in the process of fucking up his dad’s dying wish royally so he gets pissed but manages to not throw the whole fight like when Askeladd did it but still gets launched through the fucking air by one of Thorkell’s foot. Now as cool as all that shit is, it’s a lot to say that the most interesting stuff in this episode happens with Canute. Canute has a death dream about Ragnar and they get to say their goodbyes despite Ragnar saying ‘this is in your head bro but go ahead and let it out’. He wakes up and Bjorn is still fighting like ten dudes while hopped up on mushrooms so Canute and the Priest have a little chat while they wait for that to play out. He tells the Priest about his cool Ragnar dream and the Priest is like ‘that’s cool bro but that’s not real love’ and they have a big long speech about how loving a specific person precludes compassion for all people like how Ragnar would let people die to protect Canute and that the only things truly capable of love are those that can’t hurt anyone, ie nobody who’s alive, that’s probably a little bit of a minimalization nitpick to narrow down all compassion as simply favoring one person or group of people over others but I get what they’re going for. So the fact that Canute comes to the realization that people are incapable of loving each other unconditionally and universally yet it’s clearly the meaning of life to try fucking awakens his Conqueror’s Haki and he’s able to stop Berserker Bjorn with a hug and it may be the coolest damn thing in this series thus far. Bjorn gets stabbed by the other brother dude but Canute tells them to heal up because they’re going back to Thorkell so he can stop all this fighting and that he’s going to fucking start doing King shit and put an end to the pointless wars, so that’s pretty dope.

[grison-in-space]

The other advantage of the gun of course is that the gun is way less likely to misfire on you and can be stored safely, say where children cannot get it, without any damage or consequences to the gun itself. The gun requires far less in terms of maintenance and upkeep, and it will not provide a "false positive" and react on someone it should not react to, either. Sure, some people will say that the gun can't react and protect you if you're not present and conscious to fire it.... but you also can't neutralize a gun by mixing rat poison into meatballs and lobbing them over a fence.

I will say that I am someone who has been legally required by state law to either allow concealed carry permits into my office or else agree to meet any student who requests in a place they can carry their concealed weapon. Given that context, I have enormous feelings which are themselves informed by trauma about the way that weapon ownership is handled in much of the country, particularly in places where much of the narrative is driven by white paranoid assholes who seem to get a kick off frightening other people. Texas has left a bit of a mark in that respect. Watching a grown man in a Pikachu hat melt down in furious tears because the Costco greeter says he can't take his unsheathed katana into the store will do that to you.

(As you know full well, Jaz, mysteriously when black folks and other marginalized people start packing weapons in numbers, conservatives start backing gun control. Can't imagine why.)

Generally, I do think there is a tension to balance when it comes to weapons in public spaces and feelings of safety for the bearer vs feelings of safety for other members of the public using that space. I have a lot of compassion for people who cannot trust anyone else with their own safety, but I also know there is a definite strain of person who likes to keep and display weapons as a form of intimidation. I'm also often unimpressed by the tendency of humans generally--not anyone in this space, but just generally--to assume that escalating violence is always a net good in a tense situation, and to assume that the best case scenario will always shake out in a combat situation. People do stupid shit when they're scared, and simple deterrents are more effective than a lot of people realize.

And yes, of course a PPD--in some ways any bitesport trained dog--is a weapon. I think it's important for anyone working in the space or considering purchasing such a dog to know that and really weigh the responsibility of it. I really wish there was more (any!) regulation of the industry, because in my ideal world anyone who wanted to keep weapons would need to pass rigorous yearly safety tests. The capacity to commit violence is one that has to come with considerable responsibility, and that is not how it's often framed and presented in this field especially.

Please feel free to ignore this ask if you feel it would bring any drama towards you-- that said, I am curious, why do you have a mostly negative view of protection dogs? Honestly, not sure where I stand. Idea wise, I don't really care, *however*... the amount of people with "working dogs" that I feel have absolute no idea what they have or how to safely manage their bitesport dogs is high enough, that I imagine there's just as high a percentage of people with "protection dogs", which makes me veeeery uncomfortable. I like the idea of having a dog that would genuinely be able to protect me, but at the same time, I view them the same as a weapon, and the idea of other people having one *who should have no business handling one* makes me. Eugh. I hope that makes sense.

I have a mostly negative view towards *personal* protection dogs. Not all protection dogs, just PPDs.

The reasoning is multifaceted but the largest portion is due to the fact that many people who say they want a PPD actually want a gun. They have an idea in their heads about what PPDs do and what they are capable of and that is honestly mostly fantasy and nonsense in this era. If [general] you are so concerned about being attacked that you need a dog to bite someone at a moment's notice, what you need is to take some self defense classes, get your conceal carry license, and buy yourself a suitable weapon.

Put simply, an aggressor that sees a dog at your side (esp of guardian breeds known for this sort of temperament) and still chooses to attack is prepared for the dog. Some quick work with a gun or a knife and you have just spent 5-10k on a dog's corpse and have no ability to fight back. All the training in the world does not make a dog immune to bullets or blades between the ribs. What will you do when your dog is dead and your aggressor is still coming for you?

Then you have the sticky situation of the fact that even in castle law ans stand your ground states, while it is legal for YOU to kill someone who is attacking you, your dog is not similarly protected. You may not be jailed, but a dog that bites or kills in defense of handler is susceptible to being taken and euthanized for being a dangerous dog. Once again you have just spent thousands of dollars on a corpse.

Unfortunately there are plenty of charlatans out there willing to take your money to train your dog and they may or may not do good work- though in my experience it can be difficult to find someone who actually is capable of doing good work and even harder to afford that person as they know their value is very high. But most do not warn people that they are throwing a lot of money at a problem that can be solved with less than half the amount of cash and not have to live through the experience of your would-be assailant killing your dog in front of you.

Lastly, it is a largely unregulated industry, so there is no standardization of training, no safety precautions, and no consequences when something inevidibly goes wrong. There are no certifications to prove quality. There is very little recourse for those who are harmed by the practice of bad actors. Anyone can claim they know what they're doing and while that is a repeating problem with all dog training- because it's not regulated at all in this country- there is a significant difference in danger of someone who's bad at training teaching a dog how to sit vs someone who's bad at training teaching a dog how to attack people.

[simpingfortwst]

Twisted Wonderland Characters Reaction To Their Villain’s Defeat

Been sat on this idea for a while, I might do one with some other characters if I can think of a scenario. Anyway bone apple teeth

Warning: There’s a passing mention of sexual assault in Vil’s headcannons so skip that is you want to keep the childhood magic of Snow White alive.

Riddle

Freaked the fuck out

Like nearly exploded from rage

“HOW DID ALICE GET AWAY”

“THE GUARDS HAD HER”

“AND SHE GOT AWAY”

Which was strange because because you could have sworn he was rooting for Alice until Ace pointed it out

Curiouser and curiouser

Leona

He's completely blindsided by it

Mufasa died and he thought honestly that Scar was going to win

So when he didn't he left the room without a word

WHAT DO YOU MEAN? HE ISN'T CRYING!

Will rant about how scar deserved to win until you find a way to shut him up

Buy him a scar plushie

The next day he’ll force you to re-watch the first 20 minutes of the movie just to slam the laptop shut dramatically as Simba runs away

Azul

WHAT DO YOU MEAN SHE GOT TURNED INTO A KEBAB

He's distraught

Heads straight to his octo-pot to contemplate the possibility of getting run through by a ship

Decides it likely won't happen when he's indoors and leaves to confront you about why you didn't tell him that would happen

10 points to you if you buy a model ship to help him conquer his fear

Jamil

Honestly, compared to just dying or turning out to be a figment of a kids imagination, getting shoved into a tiny lamp for the rest of eternity is probably one of the harshest punishments Disney’s ever dished out

And a punishment that Jamil will absolutely not stand for

#justiceforjafar

Spends the next 3-4 weeks campaining for evil sorcerer rights until Kalim comes up with a away to calm him down

Vil

“So let my get this straight, the price of dealing a ‘poison’ with the potency of goddamn Nyquil is being crushed my a fucking boulder”

Why would the dwarfs even be mad

Anyone with basic knowledge of chemistry would know that the carbon in the soot on them from the mine would draw out the toxins from her body and wake her up

That poor woman only wanted to know what being the fairest of them all felt like for 20 minutes

And they crushed her with a fucking boulder!!!

And don’t even get me started on ‘tRuE LoVes kIsS’ like what school did you go to that taught you that sexually assulting an unconcious person would wake them up

Idia 

Boycotting Idia rn cuz i’m mad at him for chapter 6

I get that Azul is a fine specimen of a person

But that does not give you the right to steal him

Also I don’t know how to write for him without him sounding like Levi from OM :(

Malleus

His Child of Man is inviting him to watch a movie? Which one?

One Hour Later...

“Yes Child of Man, The Witch of the Thorns is actually my grandmoth-

In a ranking of bad ideas, this one really takes the cake

But you showed him the movie so really it’s only fair you accept the consequence

Btw the consequence is getting slashed to ribbons by an angry dragon 

So good luck with that 👍

[sparkledfirecracker]

Mob Steve.

Is there anything more beautiful to look at?

(forever grateful for Nix's edit)

You're the wife of the most notorious mob boss in the history of New York. He's gorgeous. Well hung. Owns every room he walks in. And has more money than you could ever dream of spending.

He can all be yours, you just have to choose which life you want to have with him. You love him, but...

Too bad he:

Has sex with every woman but you. He's not even discreet about it. He dips his dick in everything and anyone that moves. You're his wife on paper alone. You can spend all his money - so long as he doesn't have to hear from you. But you better not embarrass him if you seek sexual comfort elsewhere. They'll be hell to pay - and divorce. And you signed a prenup that will leave you with practically nothing. But if you don't stray - you'll have all the money you could ever desire.

It sucks that:

As often as you two have sex - you never cum. He's well endowed, but just can't seem to find a good rhythm. But if you're hoping to get off during oral - think again - this man doesn't do oral. Thinks it's beneath him. But he absolutely expects to have you suck him off.

You wish:

He wasn't so frugal. You have a great sex life but fuck he watches his bank account like a hawk. You get a monthly allowance which he deems more than enough to play with, but it really isn't - not with the crowd you both hang around. You feel choked to be under his thumb so much but he won't allow you to have your own job.

Damn, you could use a breather

He keeps you barefoot and pregnant. Heirs after heirs pop out of your cooch. The sex is absolutely amazing. He caters to every whim you have and loves you unconditionally. You get help with a nanny, but he expects you to always be present with the kids. You have free reign of funds, but you're always pregnant and never get to wear the clothes you buy. But he still fucks you each and every night.

😘

Since “he can be all mine”, means I can just pass his offer to be his whatever it is I am to him and go straight for his bodyguard instead, right? I mean his bodyguard be looking damn fine in my opinion. I would wolf whistle if I could, but I can’t really.

(Nix is very much missed, so I had to give you an alternative option made by the wonderful and only - Nix.)

Ugh fine, apparently I love him, but these scenarios CHRIS, bad you! I can’t weasel my ass out of this and I’m squirming, because I don’t want to pick, because they’re all so mean and horrible.

The first option, he literally can screw around and I would always have to get myself off since I can’t fuck around elsewhere. Nope, wouldn’t be able to handle that, I would try to poison him out of jealousy, frustration or something else.

Second option, it’s not even an option, I get to finish too. He’s a red flag, showing his insecurities through toxic masculinity. This Andrew Tate nonsense is not welcome in my house.

Third, I had a family member like that. When he died, the wife (grandma’s sister) found out she was a millionaire. Great story! But I know how tough and hard that life was on her, so no, a definite pass for me. I’m worth more than be kept on a chain like that.

So that leaves me with option 4, me and my brood of Rogers mob babies. 9 mob babies and counting. Poor uterus, stretched to the limit and working overtime of being constantly filled.

Being the baring horse seems to come with a horrible price the longer I think about it. So I have some thoughts and questions even though this is the last option I have to choose anyway,

Would he stop when it would become a health risk for me, like a true matter of life and death? How far does this unconditional love go? Or is it his initial plan to end up like Captain Von Trapp just him and his brood of mob babies? I know there’s one nanny involved, but would he banish them to boarding schools? Where are we at with this? 😩

This was a tough one, but I guess I’ll have to deal with my choice now. It was nice knowing you all, but I’m off to warm up some buns in my oven.

[lazycheesecakeee]

Hunch of love

Sunwoo liked to be smart about things. But he realized that he cannot be smart about you. 

Pairing: Sunwoo x reader

Genre: Friends to lovers, fluff, university! au

Warnings: none? I mean curse words because it’s me but other than that none.

Word count: 3.4 k (someone give me applause for not making this longer than it needs to be lmao)

---------------------------------

He was in too deep. He had to admit. No way he could back out of this now. It was thrilling and terrifying. The prospects of having you while not having you, confessing and having you or the possibility to get hard-core rejected.

His problem was liking to let his imagination run. And it always seemed to run to you. There were endless possibilities, and you were in most of them. He often found himself facepalming just to get out of his head because it was getting out of hand. One is not supposed to develop that much of a crush on their friend, and especially keep that a secret while harbouring the feelings, letting them intensify. One is not supposed to let themselves believe the scenarios your imagination creates for your own comfort. Those would often be Sunwoo's thoughts.

He liked to think of himself as smart. But he often realized that he could only be smart about certain things. You weren't one of those. He stopped being smart about you when he would pretend he doesn't understand certain subjects so you would stay with him more at the nearby cafe to explain. He stopped being smart about you when he would find excuses to cling to you and your friends in the corridors of uni, despite being late for his own classes, because he wanted to be with you longer "just because it happened". He stopped being smart about you when he enrolled in one of your classes mid-semester, on the pretext that he needed extra credit. Of course, that was bullshit too. He didn't. And he feels the effects of his stupidity plenty. But having you, and growing closer to you, makes it all not really matter. Because he is so utterly infatuated.

But this one right here might have been his top stupidity thus far.

"Fuuuuuck" Sunwoo groans from across the room.

You take a few seconds to observe him from the hallway through the little door crack. He is sitting on your bed. Not unusual. He liked to lavish in thigs that weren’t his. What one could say was unusual was that he has been in your apartment for 3 days straight now. Poor thing is sick, tired and drowning in assignments. He also hated his roommates, or so he often complains, and his dorm was truly a questionable sight to see. Not only because of the mess he makes. You observe him as he rolls on the bed and aggressively rubs his eyes. You carefully push the door which gets his attention.

"Made you another tea. Also here, take these vitamins." You say as you place the things on your nightstand.

He is compliant. He takes the pills and downs them with some of the tea.

"Ew what the fuck are those???!! Are you poisoning me?" He scrunched his face.

"No, it's medicine, so stop being a manchild. Maybe you'll get better and stopped living rent free here, finally!"

His expression says that he feels quite sorry for being on your head 24/7 the past few days. And he was indeed kind of sorry.

"I'm sorry" he says in a low voice, not holding eye contact.

"It's fine I am just joking." you reassure him.

At this point he just needed to get himself together. But he had to admit that wallowing in his cold and being sluggish while living with you, which took care of him, in this nice apartment, with the quietness and pleasant atmosphere felt more than nice. More than enough to pretend to be sick for a little longer.

Surely at first it was more than serious. He literally almost passed out in the hallway as you were preparing to leave after the long uni day together. The plan was to go to a cafe and finish some assignments. Clearly that didn't happen.

You were very concerned to say the least when you saw his pale face and sweaty forehead, as he barely got to sit down on the cold tiles. When your hand placed on his head, and it was burning... there were no more questions to be asked. You took him from school directly to your apartment and on the way briefly stopped for medicine and food. That was Friday. Now it was a whole whopping Monday evening. And he was still in your house, sluggish and clingy. Like he is when drunk or sick. You learned that along the way. You tried your best to take care of him while doing your own things. He seemed better but you waited to make sure.

With his laptop in front of his eyes you could tell he struggled to catch up on school, now that he felt slightly better. He glanced between his screen and the floor with frustrated and tired eyes and then at you.

"I really am sorry for being on your head all this time. I know you hate that." He says is a small voice. He really is like a small innocent child sometimes. Which is very contrasting to his fucking cocky appearance he puts up most of the time.

"It's fine. Make sure you get the hang of things though, before I get too sick of you and kick you out through the window, sick or not." you say, looking at him with a fake-stern expression.

"Yes. I will. I promise." he says convincing, and then he throws himself back on the bed. "I can't believe you chose such a hard class." he adds, leaving you to believe the latest assignment was truly kicking his ass.

"Listen... you chose it yourself. Can't put that on me. Although everyone knows it's stupid to choose this psychology module if you want it easy. And you did it mid semester too." You say, scolding him but in a soft voice, assuming his head might still be hurting.

It was true. Remember one of the reasons he rendered himself stupid for? Yeah... this class "for extra credit" was kicking his procrastinating ass.

"You're righttttt" he says in his signature lazy talk.

You observe him close. "Your eyes are kinda red maybe you should rest you don't seem fully recovered to me."

"I can't believe you're telling me to not work. You always tell me to work more." He states teasingly, with a lazy smile.

"I don’t want you passing out again, so I am cutting you some slack… but I will gladly push the normal agenda upon you, dumbass." You roll your eyes while going back to sit at your desk to revise your almost completed assignment.

"I appreciate that. Thanks for caring."

His eyes are sparkly and genuine. He has such a soft expression.

"Mhm. Now either rest or do something and stop talking." You say with an eyebrow raise.

"Yes ma'am." he says while trying to read over the same paragraph for the 5th time. 'Maybe I'll get some ideas' He keeps telling himself. But he knew he won't finish any assignment like this. How could he when his mind is running in his dizzy state to anything but school. Truth is... he is not sick anymore. Not really. His body is good at recovering and if it were to be by himself, he would have been up and going since Sunday morning, despite still not feeling at 100%. But he liked to be lazy. It was no news. With adulting life going at you every day and his procrastinating ass, along with the normal amount of mental illness... having a break felt nice. At least that's how being with you for 3 whole days and a half felt to him. Quiet. Sweet. He had you to take care of him. And he liked that he was important enough to you that you would do that. Although he felt somewhat bad for "milking" this... but being with you, even if it meant pretending to be sick for a little longer was something he was clearly willing to do. Because how could he ask his dear busy friend "hey can I stay over? Hey, can I have some tea? Hey, can we have dinner at your apartment? Hey, can you please give me a hug just because I want your affection?" How can he say such things?! It would be insane. No matter how much he wants to... he doesn't think that boundary can be stepped over.

He takes a glance at your working position. He liked to see you focused. He thinks it's one of the best sights ever. He always liked to steal glances. Even if you were tired, or lost, or your back form wasn't the best, he thinks that having your focused attention must be such a privilege.

The only problem?! Now he knows more than ever that having your attention is the best privilege. You were pretty close for a while now. And with your work ethic, and your helping gestures, he always felt such a blessing in having you. But then his heart started catching feelings. He knew he was damned the moment he admitted to himself he might have gotten a crush. How could he not.

When he almost fell on the ground at school and felt his vision blur, he sensed your hands trying to ground him. He remembers how you stood there making sure he was fine enough and then you took him gently and drove him to your house. He remembers despite feeling awful and shivering while feeling too hot, that you stopped for medicine and groceries while constantly checking on him. He was your focus. Fully. And despite his brain being mostly shut down and only able to cling to you so his body can recover... he had this warm feeling. Trust. He felt soothed. Like he could hug your arm forever. He doesn't recall much other than feeding him soup and water and shoving miscellaneous "medicine" down his throat. He felt too sick that Friday night 3 days ago. But he trusted you fully in taking care of him. Blindly.

What he remembers well is that he woke up Saturday morning, and you were awake next to him, his body cuddled to yours, still clinging. His head was in your shoulder. He felt better physically already. He nuzzled into you in his still sleepy and mentally foggy state. He liked the smell and the comfiness of your sheets. The linger of cologne and fabric softener. The light coming in the house was welcoming and your sleeping form next to him was something he didn't know he wanted that bad until that morning. As he takes in the surroundings once again, he realizes that he's never been at your apartment so early. He sees what a privilege would be to wake up like this in lazy weekend mornings. He remembers you running your hands through his hair and asking how he feels when you were fairly awake. Checking his temperature. Him keeping you in place for 10 more minutes before you got up to make breakfast. He tried to help, although his help consisted of mostly watching or getting the cutlery and orange juice from the fridge. He thought he could be there forever. So, what is some more pretending if it means your care and attention on him?

Back to the current day, the working evening comes to a close when he gives up on staring at his computer screen and you finish polishing and sending your assignment.

"Hey what do you think about ordering in something for dinner? On me of course, as a thank you since you did all this the past few days. Maybe we watch a movie too." He suggests softly.

"I think ordering would be nice, but you don't have to pay just because you feel bad. If I didn't want to take you in, I wouldn't have. Also, it's almost 11pm. We have school. And you won't ditch again." You say determined.

"You're sending me back? Ugh I guess you were serious about sending me out the window to hell." He pouts.

"God damn, dramatic much?!" You roll your eyes. "Besides, If I wanted to send you to hell, I would make sure it's painful. Just like being with you every day." You spare him a glance with an amused smile.

He gasps and clutches his heart dramatically. "I thought we had a nice time but I see..." he says in the most kdrama voice you've ever heard. "Anyways pizza?"

"Yes please. Wings and mozzarella stick on the side too please. And coke."

"I know I know... anything for you." he says cheeky.

"Mhm sure." you mutter with an eye roll, without sparing him a glance.

Having dinner like this felt usual. He realizes just how much time you two spent together lately. He comes to realize how important this became to him. If it wasn't obvious enough. He also realizes that no matter how much he pretends, something like this is what he wants. He appreciates you from so many perspectives. Your independence. Your ability to hold on even when you are struggling. Your maturity. Your wittiness. Your care for others. Your love for aesthetics and for nice things. Your affinity for dreaming.

"Are you OK? You're uncharacteristically quiet and that wall is not that interesting." You say, stating the obvious in his actions.

He spares you a glance and his expression softens while looking at you.

"Yeah, I feel much better, thank you."

"I can tell by the way you are devouring things" you say with fond smile. "I am glad."

He doesn't bother responding. Just hums an unknown tune and shoves more food in his mouth.

When you are done with eating and putting things away, you both settle in the living room sofa, where he has been sleeping. He thinks he likes it more than his bed at the dorm, even if it's quite cheap and objectively not the most comfortable. As random music plays in the background and he makes himself comfortable while you check your phone and do your skincare beside him, he sinks in the sheets enough to almost fall asleep.

He thinks he knows he can't really fool you. Despite playing pretend so you will have him longer, like this... he is aware you probably figured out at least partly what's going on. Maybe you blame it on his laziness, or something like this, he thinks, but the fact that you still indulge him gives him great satisfaction.

He has also come to realize another thing. Just how much you take care of him without him being sick. When he is just himself. Whether that comes with obnoxious jokes or cocky behaviour, you never back down in making sure he is fine. You pay attention to his needs. To his mind. And he appreciates that most, he supposes. Just the way you understand and fell with him.

You shift to get up and put your things back. You go to your room to change in sleep attire and then come by one more time in the living room to check on him and close the light, as you knew he wouldn't get up to close it himself.

"Are you going to sleep already?" He says in a drowsy voice.

"Yeah, I think so, I feel quite tired." You respond automatically.

"Mmm" he hums, you assume in agreement.

"You feeling ok?" You ask, just a regular check-up question.

"Mmmm I think sooo." he says with a pout.

"Okkkkk. And well... you know where to find me if you need me." you say softly, looking at him.

He opens his mouth to say something but hesitates. Your eyes urge him to say what is on his mind.

"Can you... maybe... stay here some more?" He asks small, mot looking at you, mostly of his body buried in the sheets and blankets.

You laugh softly.

"Why? Scared of the dark?" You say teasingly.

"A little." He says and raises his hand as to reach for you.

You don't hesitate much and go lie next to him. He nuzzles into you. You think it's cute how he does that. His hand takes yours and guides it to his hair. With a smile you start to run your hands in his hair in gentle strokes, as you learned how he likes that just a little too much, a small sigh of satisfaction escaping his lips. His eyes are closed, and his breathing slows down. But what comes out of his mouth next is quite an unexpected plead.

"Fall in love with me, please." the words pass his lips light as a feather.

Your movements freeze for a moment. He could as well be dreaming. But you didn't know how his brain was fighting his heart in this dizzy state, under your hands, just to not spill every single feeling he's ever felt for you.

"I want to know what it's like being loved by you."

‘Loved by you? Hm. Why would he say such things?!’ you wonder. You don't really consider yourself particularly lovely. But you didn't know how much adoration his heart was harbouring for your flaws as well as for your little gestures, tics, caring nature.

In a way... he thinks he already knew. He has gotten a little gist of what it would be like to be loved by you. The "invisible" little sacrifices you made for those who were closest to you. He knew as well how much of yourself you put into your work, your passion, as well as random things. He knew how much effort you put in things to be, in your words "just decent, just good enough", when they were so much more than that. You gave yourself to people, to things. Out of your own willingness. Even if it sometimes fucked with your mental health, your well-being. Even if you should have been selfish. He knew how much you held yourself to impossible standards often. And he appreciated it all. He could only dream what it would be like for you to be fully immersed in him. For you to love him like that. For you to love him like you do.

"I don't care if your love is like walking on a beach at sunrise with your feet in the sand and feeling the water, or like walking through a rough winter day, foggy and gloomy, wind attacking you to your bones. I don't care if it's early mornings or late nights, lazy days or adventures..." He's rambling, his words slurring from, you presume the medicine, the lasting effects of sickness, tiredness, or all of them. "I want it all, just know what your love is like."

You knew he liked to speak in metaphors. He often asked you if his cheesy lyrics, which would potentially be turned into love songs, make sense. You often laughed it off and told him he is doing great. He was good at such things. His mind was truly wonderful. His imagination. You knew he liked the idea of love so much.

At some point you'd resumed your actions while he continued his ramble. You don't know what to take out of it, to be fully honest with yourself.

"You've been watching a lot of movies lately, maybe you should write a novel about love" you say with a small smile.

"Mmm, maybe I will. Will you read it?" he asks softly.

“Maybe. If you want me to.” You respond without much thought.

He smiles but doesn’t open his eyes. After a short break adds "I don't wanna go back to the dorm."

"Yeah... don’t worry. You're fine for now. Just sleep, ok?" You softly say, almost a whisper.

His eyes open to look at you before closing again, and his breathing evens out. He looks soft. Innocent. Just before he fully lets his dreams take over, he mumbles one more time "Fall in love with me, okay?"

"Mhmmm" you hum in affirmation, hoping he drifted to sleep already.

It was an easy favour, an effortless thing to do. Falling in love with Sunwoo was something you had done almost unconsciously, despite all your worries and thoughts constantly clouding your judgement. And you think that falling in love with him further and further is something you can't stop, even if you wanted to. But that would be a conversation for another day.

[luimagines]

Could I pwetty pweashe have a scenario for each of the boys where reader is loopy with fever or from poison and the whole time they are just laying the compliments on real thick and going on and on abt how much they love their boys 🙏🙏🙏

Masterlist

Yeeesssss!!! Will do!

Here we go. Boys under the cut! Immediate Reader!

***

You were trying to go and find some food for dinner at Wild's request and found some interesting looking berries. They looked like blueberries from your world but there was purple thorns on the bush instead, with yellow trimmed leaves.

You grabbed a few and retraced and marked your steps to find your way back to the bushes. You thought that maybe one of the boys would be able to identify the berries and know if they were actually edible or not.

You stashed them away and grinned to yourself. It was a possibility that they were good but if they weren't- there was other ways to use the berries.

You still needed to find food that your group actually is able to eat if the berries aren't worth anything.

You hear your name being called and it startles you enough to take a step back and look behind you.

You trip on a root and crash against the forest floor- falling onto a separate patch of the same berries. Pollen and dew shoot up from the impact and you're forced to inhale it all in.

There's instant discomfort in your lungs and in your head, and you can already feel the multiple places where the thorns have pierced your skin and ripped your clothes.

You take a while to pry yourself out of the bushes, pain littered in all places you didn't even know you could hurt.

You cough and inhale more of the pollen that hasn't settled yet.

A massive headache begins pounding against your temples and back of your head.

You hear your name being called once more but this time in concern and blink away what you can. You groan and try your best to stand, falling to one knee in a coughing fit with pain and discomfort all throughout your joints and muscles.

You look up and smile despite it, a slight giggle of hysteria on your lips. "Hi Link! Guess what I found!"

Warrior "Oh sweet name of the three, what happened to you?" You see Warrior walk up to you and reach out his hand.

You giggle again and reach out to him. He grabs you and tries to lift you back onto your feet but your legs gives out from beneath you and you fall again.

"Hello~!" You lift out your hand and show him the berries. "You know if theses are good or not?"

"Nope." Warrior smacks them out of your hand with a backhanded swing. "Those are known for being highly toxic in.... depressant... components... Don't tell me you ate them?"

You grin and shake your head. "Nope! I didn't know if they were good or not...but I fell~!"

Warrior's face does that thing where he looks concerned but is only marginally capable of hiding it. "On the plant?"

"Link, you're so smart!" You get to your feet and fall nearly on top of him. Warrior is quick to catch you and hold you with his hands on your waist and you grin up at him, adoration pooled in your eyes. "That's what I did~! Man, you're so strong. You're stronger than I thought you were. Your arms are so toned too. I didn't think you had this much muscle."

"Ok. Let's get you to Sky." Warrior rolls his eyes and begins to more or less drag you away from the plants and back to where you think the group is. "Or maybe Four, this is his Hyrule anyway. Maybe he'll know how to get you fixed up."

"See, this is why I like you so much. You're always so fast to come up with a plan and you're so caring. You're so smart. You're so great." You giggle and try to follow his footsteps but find it really hard to put one foot in front of the other.

After what felt like a few seconds, (but was really ten minutes of Warrior fighting you and gravity (not successfully) to keep you upright), Warrior gives up on your non cooperative limbs and picks you up bridal style and begins to carry you away from the infested area.

"Link, I love you."

"I love you too." Warrior waves you off with a playful roll of his eyes.

"No.. but I really love you!" You insist, getting loud for no reason and place your hands on his face. You give him a squish and lean into his space. "You have to understand this. I would do anything to you."

"I know you would." He laughs. "I'd do anything for you too."

He shakes his head out of your hands and grins at you. "I think you're a little drunk from the plants toxins."

"Nuh-uh." You pout. "I'm too strong for that. I'm completely........ ok."

"I believe you." Warrior bites his lip trying to keep his cool before he absolutely looses it. He's both touched by your words and concerned for your well being. He supposes you're more or less drunk and loopey. It's not the most desirable circumstance but he's sure that those cuts on your skin and tears on your clothes can be handled more easily than the up coming hangover.

You fall silent after a second and look up at him. You poke his cheek and his nose and grin, hugging him close and snuggling into his chest and neck. "Has anyone ever told you that you're very handsome?"

"I think that's the more common compliment." He admits.

"And your eyes are very pretty and very blue and you have very long eye lashes and it's all very pretty. And you have a strong jaw."

"Do I?"

"So strong and sharp- it could cut glass." You say seriously. "And your hair always looks very soft and shiny and silky and I want to play with it but I don't want to make things weird. And you're so cool! You're so smart. You're so nice. And you're great with kids and people and everyone likes you so much, so quickly and it's so cool to watch you work and fight and-"

"You're going to keep going forever unless I stop you, aren't you?" Warrior swallows and tries to fight his upcoming blush. He had thought that you were joking for a moment but the more you talk the more it hits that you're being genuine.

You furrow your brows and hit him with the most innocent doe eyes you don't know that you have. "Do you want me to stop?"

Warrior almost trips at that way his heart skips a beat and he chuckles awkwardly. "Actually... No. It's ok. I don't mind."

"You deserve the world, Link." You say finally and go back to resting with your head in the crook of his neck. "I just wish that you could see that, you stubborn man."

"I'll... try my best."

"Good."

Time "Oh no." Time sighs and makes his way over to you. "What happened? Are you hurt?"

"My head hurts." You admit and drop the berries from your palm to cradle your temple. "I was trying to look for food... I think I found it but I also... don't."

Time kneels in front of you and places the back of his hand on your forehead. He hisses at the temperature and places his hand under your chin. "Why do you keep finding yourself in situations like this?"

"You boys keeping putting me situations like this." You mutter and try to stand. Your legs fail you and Time lurches in front of you in order to catch you.

"Do you see me as a boy?" Time raises an eyebrow.

"NOT that I'm complaining." You ignore his question and pat his face. "I love you guys, so much but like...This is what happens when I care about people. I end up in stupid situations."

"Maybe Four will have somethin to help out this." Time admits and picks you up without any further thought. "Let get you some help."

"Link, you're so great." You sigh and press your forehead against the crook of his head. His heartbeat is strong and he's cooler than you thought so you sigh in contentment.

"You're so calm and I always feel safe around you and you give the best hugs." You grin against his ear and Time has to stifle the upcoming chuckles from his chest.

"Do I?"

"The best hugs." You reiterate and snuggle closer. "You can ask Wind, he'll agree."

"I'm sure he will." Time let's a snort pass and he nods to Four as he passes. "They fell in a berry bush."

"Blue berries! With pretty leaves and thorns!" You cry out with an arm outstretched to the sky. "Not good for food, no no no, but good."

"Well... I'll start the antidote." Four sighs and walks away to his pack, immediately digging through it for the ingredients that will help you out.

"Four!" You sing and turn your head back into Time's neck. "Isn't Time the best? He's so strong and gentle and nice and he's so great."

Time lets more laughter fall from his lips as he places you on the ground next to his supplies. He says your name with a slight whine and begins to beg. "Please."

"Beeeeeesst hugs." You ignore him.

Four snickers from the other side of the camp and pulls out a bottle.

"I adore you Old Man. I don't think you get told that enough." You continue. "Like, you always try so hard to be a good person. You've gone through so much and you had no reason to start your adventure or to keep helping people and doing stuff but you care so much so you're here still and I think-"

Oh no, Time thinks, you're crying.

"Ok, ok, it's ok." time kneels next to you and puts your hair behind your ear. "No need to be upset. I'm here and everything's ok."

"But you've been hurt so much!" You pout, tears pooling in your eyes. "And yet you're still here and no one thanks you and you try so hard to watch over all of us and even then-"

"That's enough." Time frowns slightly and shakes his head. "I'm just doing what I'm supposed to."

"No one is making you." You pout and lay down on the ground. "You're not listening to me."

"Believe me, I am."

"Here." Four comes up to you and hands you a little bottle filled with viscous green liquid. "Drink this."

"I don't wanna." You pout. "I don't feel good."

"It'll make you feel better." Four tries again, before Time takes the bottle from his hands and uncorks it.

"Drink it." He says, in a tone which means there no room for argument.

"You're such a dad." You complain and grab it from his hand, placing it to your lips and begin sipping it slowly.

Time shakes his head and runs a hand through his hair. "What are we going to do with you?

Wild "Oh boy, I don't think these are good for eating." He says with a slight grimace. "We should probably not get near these. Let's go clean you up, yeah?"

"WIILLDD!!" You grin and reach your grabby hands in his direction. "Beautiful boy, how are you today~?"

Wild coughs a little and tries to hide his discomfort by avoiding eye contact. "I'm... fine... How are you?"

"Everything hurts~" You admit and look up at him with pleading eyes. "Carry me?"

"Oh boy, sure, why not?" He sighs and wraps around your shoulders and hooks the other under your knees, carrying you effortlessly through the thicket.

"How did this even happen?" He asks out of curiosity.

"I heard you call my name and fell."

"Fell where?"

"In the bush." You mumble with a pout and cross your arms. "It's all pokey and my clothes are ripped and I think I'm bleeding."

Wild bite his lip and hisses. "Sorry."

" 's not you're fault." You look up at him and pat his face. "You're too nice. I just wanted to help and got hurt like stupid me tends to do."

"You're not stupid." Wild scolds you gently. "You are incredibly smart."

"You're the smart one."

"Think so? I think some of the other will disagree."

"Well they can eat my shoes."

Wild coughs out a laugh again in a vain attempt to hide how uncharacteristically serious that was for you and how the unexpectedness of it made him lose it on the inside. "I don't think those would taste good."

"No.... But I need them so maybe they eat my hat instead." You nod to yourself in full serious before gasping slightly. "They should eat Legend's hat instead, then they'll really be sorry."

"Oh my god." Wild snorts and goes to cover his face before remembering that he's holding you.

He jostles' you in the process and the movement cause your headache to flare up. You whine and put a hand to your temple. "It hurts."

"Really?"

"Yeah."

Wild frowns and puts the information away for later. "We'll get you back to camp and figure something out ok, maybe you should take it easy for a little bit."

"Link, you're so good to me. I don't deserve it."

"I think you do- I say you do and I'm going to tell Time to keep you down until you feel better."

"Noooo."

"Yeeesss."

"But you're always doing something for someone else, who's going to help you with dinner?" You complain and flop your arms around- regrettably because your head ache flares up once more. "Oh, ouch, ouchies..."

"I think I'll be fine." Wild rolls his eyes. "I've done it before I can do it again."

You hum sadly and shimmy your way into his arm to get more comfortable. "You're a good person. You're so smart. I love hanging out with you. You know that? You're so fun to be around and talk to and you're always so.... good."

Wild looks down on you momentarily before returning to the the forest ahead of him. "Thank you."

"I wish..." You start and cut yourself off. "I wish there was more I could do help you. You help so many people- I think there's someone in every stable in your Hyrule that you've helped... not to mention all of Hateno Village and like- you built Terry Town... It's so good-you're good. I wish more people were good."

"Are people not good?" Wild asks you as he walks through the green.

"I like to think that some are. I don't get to meet a lot of them." You admit and settle your head against his shoulder. "My home's not as nice as here."

"I'm sorry to hear that."

"I'm going to miss you guys."

"We're going to miss you too." Wild replies automatically.

"I think I'll miss you most." You hum and close your eyes. "Good people should get good things and you didn't get a lot of good things... Someone should fix that. I want to fix that."

Wild doesn't respond.

Twilight

“Oh!” Twilight winces. “I should have warned you about those. Four told me they’d be in the area and that we’d have to avoid them. You ok?”

“I fell... in the bush.” You pout and begin to sag your shoulders. Guess they weren’t edible after all.

Seems like they’re quite bad actually.

“I’m sorry.” You sniffle and try ignore the tears beginning to pool in your eyes. “I didn’t mean too. I’m in trouble, aren’t I?”

“Well no, not exactly.” Twilight rushes to your side at the side and brushes off whatever leaves and twigs he can see from your clothes. “Does anything hurt?”

“A lot of things hurt Twi.” 

“Can you be a little more specific?” He tries, with a small tilt to his head.

“My head... and I think there’s a lot of tiny cuts on my arms and back.” You try to stand again and Twilight is quick to help you with a stabilizing hand on the small of your back. “There’s more thorns in the bushes than I thought there’d be.”

“Ok, we’ll get those looked at ok. Four should have something to help you in the mean time.” Twilight takes a few steps with you, wrapping an arm over your shoulder when he realizes you’re more intoxicated than he thought.

You put your full weight against him without realizing it and place your head on his shoulder. “Twilight?”

“Yes?”

“I appreciate you so much.” You take a breath and sigh. “You’ve been the first person there to help me out with whatever this adventure seem to throw at me. You’re always taking care of others... like Wild and Wind and Legend and I know you look up to Time but so many of us are looking up to you too and I guess I want to say thank you. There’s a lot of good in your heart and I’m glad I get to see it.”

“I appreciate you too.” He says in reply.

“But I don’t do anything.”

“I’d beg to differ.”

“You’re too dignified to beg. I don’t think you’d ever have it in you.” You grin. “I admire the way you hold yourself and don’t let anyone talk down to you- like that guy in that old Castle Town- or where ever we were. And like, you can throw a good punch too. I thought you broke that guys jaw!”

“Admittedly... Not one of my greater moments.” Twilight hisses at the memory. Time gave him a nasty look for that one and he’s still working off the penalty for it.

“It was super cool though.” You cock your head to the side, looking at his profile as you stumble through the forest growth. “He totally deserved it, don’t let Time let you think otherwise. I was tempted to punch him too or get get Wild and let him go crazy against the guy.”

“Wild probably would have set him on fire.”

“It would have been funny.”

“No it wouldn’t have.”

“Not to the guy, maybe.” You giggle. “But see, you’re always thinking about others and how’d they react and how to go about things that makes you so smart and you’re so cool.”

“Thank you.” Twilight stops the two of you for a moment and readjusts his grip on you. “Are you feeling any better?”

“No. My head hurts.”

“Well, we’re almost there and then we can get started on fixing this ok?” 

“Ok.” You mumble and go back to mostly resting against the country boy. 

“You’re really great with animals too.” You say randomly. “I’ve never a horse that close with its rider or how all the cats just gravitate towards you.”

“The cat thing I’ll admit is special to me, but are you trying to tell me that the horses of your world aren’t treated right? Because they bond really well with humans and dogs alike.”

“Why dogs?”

“Uh-”

“Well everybody likes dogs, I guess that’s a given. It's not even a question really. I don't know why I asked.” You shrug.

“Yup. That’s what I meant.”

“And no, well I don’t know... I don’t see a lot of horses in my home world so maybe you’re right and I just have bad examples.”

“Of course I’m right.” Twilight says with a grin. “Horses are great!”

“You’re great Link.” You try to hide your laughter at how genuine and boyish he sounded. “I’d take you over a horse any day.”

“Well I’d hope so.”

Wind

"What is it?" Wind tilts his head and steps into your direction, trying to piece together what happened to you with what little information he has. "You look like you got in a fight... and lost."

"I fell the bush of these berries! Look!" You grin beyond the pain in your head and hold your hand out.

Wind walks up to you and picks one up between his fingers, twisting it around before looking back at you. "Are these safe to eat?"

"I have no idea." You answer honestly. "I was going to as Wild if he knew but then I fell in this bush and got hurt so I gotta go get myself checked out."

"Well that explains why your clothes are torn." Wind snorts a little and holds his hand out. "Do you need help?"

You hum and try to examine yourself from the inside. Your head is killing you but you feel loopey and uncentered.

Maybe some help would be nice.

"Yes, please." You take his hand and let him pull you up. "Thank you Link."

"No problem." He grins. "Can you get back to the camp on your own?"

You hum again and try to take a step forward. But your knee buckles from beneath you and you fall the ground again. "Ow."

"Ok, guess not." Wind is by your side within seconds and helps you back to your feet. "That's ok! I'll just help you get to the others and maybe someone will know how to fix you."

"Yay." You giggle and lean on the boy. "Have I ever told you how great you are?"

"No." Wind grins and starts to lead the way. "I don't think you have."

"That's a shame. Shame on me. Because you are one of the best kids I think I've ever met. Don't let anyone change you, ok? You are.... so fun to be around and I'm so glad I met you and I'm going to miss you when this is all over and I think I'm going to try-"

"You think you're going to cry?" Wind looks up at you.

"No no... maybe." You tilts your head and close your eyes, putting your full trust and weight on Wind's shoulders. "I just... you're so good. And you're so happy and excited to see all these new things and I wish I was like that when I was your age, you know?"

"Uh-"

"And I hope that you get to do and see so many amazing things, Link. You're going to change your world, I know it and I'm sad that I won't get to see it."

"Hey-"

"You can't let anyone bully you, ok? There's a lot of people that would want to break your spirit and your joy and there's a lot of things that we want to do to keep you the way you are but there's only so much we can shield you from. I know you don't like it. I know you think you can't take it. But you shouldn't have to. You should have never had to. You should have had a chance like all the other boys and girls to be young and have a childhood and just be a kid but I'm so proud of you." You say and stop the two of you for a moment, pulling Wind in what you try to be a crushing hug.

"You're incredible, you know that?" You lean back and put your hands on his shoulders. "Link, listen, no matter what any else will ever tell you, we adore you. I think you're everyone's favorite, ok? There's so many things I want to show you myself if the Captain would let me.... I doubt he will because there not exactly things kids your age should know. Like throwing knives and hand to hand combat... But I think we both agree that it's all waaaay past that point. So anything goes!"

"Will you really teach me?" Wind lights up at the thought and be jumps a little on his toes in excitement.

"If you're up for it.. I'm sure that others will try to fight me though."

"I'll fight them."

"I don't doubt that pirate."

"What are you two talking about?" Warrior steps up and places his hands on his hips. "We heard you talking but missed it. What is.... what happened to you?"

"I'm just telling Wind how amazing he is and how much I love him and adore him and how cool he is for a thirteen year old and how I couldn't even come close to that when I was his age so I'm a bit jealous-"

"They fell in some freaky looking berry bush and I think they're poisoned." Wind explains over you. "They're acting a little loopey."

"I am. ONE HUNDRED PERCENT OK." You shout and push yourself away from Wind, staggering on your feet and eventually falling on your butt onto the forest floor.

The sudden movement flares up your headache and your neck muscles stiffen around your shoulders, making it hard to move your head. "Oh, ow.... My head... That was a mistake. Mistakes were made."

Warrior hisses and sigh after watching you suffer for a hot second. "Alright, I'll go wrangle up some supplies. Can you take them back to camp on your own, Sailor?"

"I was already doing that." Wind raises an eyebrow.

"Alright then, then go back to doing that." Warrior smirks a little. "I'll be back."

He then nods a bit and walks away from your duo as Wind makes his way over to where you fell, pulling you back to your feet and wrapping your arm over his shoulders. "Did you mean what you said?"

"What did I say?" You try to twist your head around to loosen up your muscle and it only slightly works.

"Well... everything you said about me. Did you mean it?"

"I don't remember." You frown and furrow your eyebrows. "Probably... If it's all good things, then yes. Because you are good. And you deserve good things. And you might be the little brother I never had... but I wish you were my brother. You're cool. You're great. I love hanging out with you man."

Wind smiles softly and sits you down on a free spot once you reach camp again. "I can be your brother, it's ok."

"Awesome!"

Sky

"And what exactly did you find?" Sky raises an eyebrow when he sees you. He recognizes the plant but can't remember what it does or why he's seen it before.

"Hm... I don't think that's good." He sighs and walks over to you, picking you up with a sturdy hands on your elbows. "Are you ok?"

"A lot of things hurt right now." You admit. "Are the berries not good?"

"Let's assume they aren't." Sky smiles a bit and wraps arm around your waist to keep you from falling. "I think you should get someone to look at you."

"You have really long eye lashes." You blurt out and gently bring your hand to cup his face. "And I've never noticed how blue your eyes are."

"Ok, those berries defiantly aren't good." Sky snorts and picks your hand off of his face. "Let's get you back to camp, ok?"

"You're like... one of the nicest people here, you know that?"

"Well I certainly try to be."

"And you're always thinking of others and you're so good." You lean against him, putting your full weight onto his side. "I'm so sorry that you have to be here instead of your home. You're so important to so many people Link."

"You think so?"

"I know so." You pat his head with what little arm you reach. "You're at the start of this whole thing... You are... the whole reason Hyrule, as everyone knows it, exists to begin with. It all starts with you. Not everyone has that kind of legacy you know."

"Is that really my legacy?" Sky looks over to you and you grin brightly in his direction.

"Well aside from the stories of the hero I've always heard so much about growing up there's also like the hero lineage as well. Not to mention you also father... the whole Hyrule Royal Family Line. So I'd say you're pretty important. and your legacy is pretty big."

Sky stops abruptly and the suddenness of it sends you right onto the ground. "I'm the start of the line?"

"OOOWWW!!! SKY!" You whine and cradle your head with both of your hands. "That hurt! Why did you do that?"

"Sorry sorry sorry." Sky bends down and helps you back up, readjusting his grip on you a few times to make sure that even if he loses his grip again, he won't be sent careening onto the floor. "That was an accident. I did not mean to do that."

"That was mean."

"It wasn't on purpose I swear."

"Promise?" You rolled your head over and rest it on his shoulder.

"Promise." Sky bite his lip to hold in his laughter. "I'd never do that to you on purpose, not like this."

"Ok. I believe you." You nod. "I think if you really wanted to hurt me, you would have sent your army of birds against me or something."

"I do not have an army of birds."

"But you're building one."

"No, I'm not."

"You are though. Maybe not on purpose... Maybe you don't realize it. You do know that birds flock to you right?" You blinks your eyes up at him. "It's a crazy thing to witness. I think you could easily rule to world with nothing but cuccos by your side."

"What is it with you guys and the cuccos? What did they ever do to you?"

"I can't speak for the others but I say with full certainty that my Zelda has a wicked streak sometime and she was mercilessly attacked by them one day."

"Oh my goodness"

"I told her to leave them alone but noooo, she had to keep hittin' the poor thing and look where it got her. Those little things are ruthless and should be feared. She won't touch them with a ten foot pole now." You nod your head to your story as if you were telling Sky some age old wisdom.

"Does that mean the others-?"

"Most likely." You snort. "Serves them right."

"That would explain that."

"Sky, I'm really glad I know you... as a person and as a friend. I think you're really talented and great and good and I'm so happy you're here."

"I'm glad I met you too." Sky grins and waves over someone from the camp to come help him.

"You're my favorite ok, don't tell the others." You wink in his direction and let yourself be taken away from his side.

"Oh jeeze, thanks." Twilight snorts and picks you up bridal style, taking you further into the camp and laying you down by the small fire they've started.

"I'll take that secret to my grave." Sky smirks.

Twilight huffs a little and stands to leave. "You can take care of them then."

"That was the plan."

"Sky is a brave boy." You mumble from where you've been placed and reach out to him. "He deserves better than watching over a sick sack of potatoes. He's good at helping people. Someone has to make sure that he doesn't push himself too hard. He'll over work himself and then there would no more Sky and the world will be to dark to recover. There's no way we can lose Sky. He's too good."

"Have they been like the whole time?"

"Pretty much." Sky shrugs.

"I think I'm going to throw up." You mumble and try to push yourself upright.

The boys then scramble to try and manage the approaching problem.

It's going to be a long night.

Legend

"Oh for the love of- you look like you took a swim through the underbrush. What did you do?" Legend groans and comes to stand in front of you.

"I went for a swim?" You blink up at him, confused and a little disoriented still. "Is that what happened? I'm not wet... Am I?"

"You're joking." Legend raises an eyebrow and and places the back of his hand against your forehead. "Ok, maybe not."

"I can not believe the legend himself has graced me with his presence." You giggle and try to stand- not very successfully. "What a joyous day indeed."

"What on earth are you talking about?" Legend kneels next to you and takes one of your arms, lifting it up and wrapping it around his shoulders. "You're acting weird... weirder than usual anyway."

"But I love you Legend!" You cry and wrap your other arm around him. It's a clumsy hug and Legend almost throws you off. But considering you can barely stand on your own feet with his support, he supposes some more wouldn't hurt.

If he likes it then he doesn't say anything.

"I think you love the idea of me." He grumbles. "I'm not that great."

"See, you say that but it's not true!" You grin and nuzzle your head against his. "You put on this big tough attitude and your defensive but you love us and we love you and I know you sometimes slip more food onto Wind's pate when he's still hungry but he won't go for seconds. Or how you sneak potions and healing items into our bags when we're not looking and I know you gave Hyrule some of those magic rings of yours to protect him. Or how you banter with Warrior because you try to keep his stress levels low because he gets flashback of the war and we all know he feels responsible for us even if he has no reason to be. You're quick to point out any puzzles that Four misses... magic eyes and all that."

"Have you been watching me?" He snaps and tries to make his embarrassment with anger.

"Yes, because I find you interesting and I've been wanting to get to know you better but you're one prickly pear." You poke his nose and try to keep walking. "You don't let me."

It's difficult.

"I know you've been watching what weapons Wild goes through and keep track of what he's been using the most, what he's most comfortable with... I think you want to get him something..."

"I'm an apprentice blacksmith... I want to see if there's something that will survive that wild rat." He grumbles.

"Ooohh!! Even better! you want to make him something!"

"I hope your fever erases this from your memory... Make it into one big fever dream."

You laugh and try to hide the grimace from your pounding head. "I know you've helped Twilight with something- he seems a little lighter but I don't know what. And I know you've been watching how much sleep the Old Man gets and I know you've been helping him with it. I know you're watching how much Sky has been fighting and how much he travels and you're quick watch his health and his breathing problems."

"Should I be concerned that you've been watching me this much? Because if it were any other person I'd be fighting you and getting a restraining order. It's weird." Legend huffs and hoists you up a little more, trying to keep you from falling.

"You help so many people." You hiccup and groan, the pain in your head becoming a little more than you can hide. "You're always watching everybody else's back. You don't watch your own."

"Who says that?"

"You take care of everyone else but yourself." You whine and hide your face against his shoulder. "But I've been watching your back. It's ok. I know you wouldn't like it but I care about you too much to let you hurt yourself. Someone has to take care of you if you won't do it yourself."

"I can take care of myself!"

"But you don't."

"Hey!"

"MMmm... Don't yell please." You wince and grip his tunic tighter.

Legend stops for a moment and finally looks at your face. It's flushed completely red and you're beginning to have sweat roll down the side of your head. Legend bites his lip and hides the pause behind the pretend need to adjust his grip.

He can't tell if you've gotten better or worse but he's going to bet worse.

"I'll go get Time. Maybe we can figure how to fix this, ok?" Legend gulps a little and returns to dragging you across the forest.

"Ok."

"The things I do for you people."

"You're a good person."

"Hm."

"Link?"

"What?"

"Thank you." You mumble, right into his ear. "We don't say it often but thank you."

Legend feel the tips of his ears go a little pink and he scoffs. "Don't thank me for anything. I didn't do anything."

"You're a good person."

"I'll chock this up to the fever talking."

Hyrule

Hyrule hisses sharply and can already feel the ominous foreshadowing of the hours to come. "Did you get in a fight? Are you hurt? You're bleeding, that's a dumb question, don't answer that."

"Rule!" You reach your hand out. "Best booooy!!! Hello sweet heart, how are you?"

"What happened to you?" He kneels down beside you and begins to heal the miniscule cuts around your arms and your back. He can feel the magic go down your legs and heal what was torn there and come back up to work on the worst of it.

It's a little more damage that he'd like to admit out loud and he's a little worried that there's monsters nearby that would have caught the scent of your blood.

"I fell in the bush... trying to get berries to eat... I was supposed to find food for Wild to cook but I don't think I can do that any more. It's not good that there's not much to forage." You mumble, relaxed by the suddenness of your pain being relieved and the cuts you've sustained leaving your body.

Hyrule frowns and stops his spell. It's a shame he can't do anything about your clothes.

"I feel funny." You say and lean backwards, over judging the distance and force and nearly send yourself back into the bush behind you.

Hyrule snatches your tunic before you can do that and pulls you toward him. "Be careful... Did the bush do this?"

"I dunno." You shrug and frown as you feel the pain begin to come back. "Are you here to bring me back?"

"I might have to regardless. I think you've been poisoned by the plants."

"I feel funny, not dead."

"Well, let's hope that it doesn't come to that." Hyrule rolls his eyes and wraps your arm around his shoulders. "Come on. We need to get you checked out and see if there's anyway to help you."

He's trying to stay calm... but he hopes that it's mostly you being loopey and not actually in any danger. He doesn't recognize the plant- but he supposes that's a given since it's not his Hyrule and he doesn't know the scale of the dangers around here.

"I have a headache again." You groan and don't even try to help Hyrule in lifting you up.

"I... can't really do anything about that. Sorry." Hyrule sighs and readjusts his grip to lift you higher.

This time you do put a little more effort in standing up and slowly, you begin to make your way back to the camp.

"I'm sorry you have to deal with me right now." You mumble and lean against him. "There's so many others things you could be doing right now."

"I don't mind. I'd rather you be ok than do anything else."

"You're a good person." You roll your head back and look at his side profile. "I hope you get every good thing the universe has to offer Link. May your life be filled with peace and happiness and all sorts of good things."

"Like what?" Hyrule finds himself asking. It stuns him and for a moment and he wonders if he's asking because he doubts he'll have it or if it's merely to get you to elaborate more.

"Like many friends and family and holidays and puppies and kitties and candy and good food and good company and cupcakes and lemonade-" You begin to list off.

Hyrule looks back on his life and the people he's met and everything that's happened to him up until this very moment. Enough so that he ignores the rest of your list and only tunes back in when you've past onto a slightly different topic.

"There's so many little things to enjoy in life, you know. I know you're humble and underestimate yourself and I'm trying to change that because you're absolutely amazing and there's a lot you should be proud and show off a little more because you deserve it but I wish you'd let us show you that. " You roll your head around again and try to match your footsteps to his despite the fog in your brain.

You keep talking.

"It might be presumptuous to say this but I think this group may have been the best thing to have happened to you. And that makes me a little sad."

Hyrule stumbles a little and you follow suit. "Sorry, sorry."

"It's ok. You'd never hurt anyone unless they deserved it." You mumble and try to fight against the now pounding sensation in your head.

"Hurting?"

"Yeah... My headache got worse."

"I'm sorry."

"You apologize too much." You groan. "I can't wait to see the day where you do something completely outrageous and just own it, just unapologetically decide that this is the hill you're going to die on and fight every one else about it."

"That sounds like a lot of effort." Hyrule snorts and raises an eyebrow.

"I can't to see what is the stick that takes you there."

"I don't think that's how the saying goes."

"It is now. I said so."

"Of course. Naturally." Hyrule snorts.

"Link, we're friends right?"

Hyrule nearly stumbles again but catches himself this time. "Of course we are! Whatever made you think otherwise?"

"Nothing." You admit. "But I'd to be the kind of person that's on the list of good things your life. Like that list I was talking about earlier."

"I say you are." Hyrule nods to himself and sees the camp in the distance. Relief flows over him and he nearly sags from it. A smiles graces his face as he turns to you and lets you lean on him a little more. "And I'd die on that hill."

Four

"Oh no no no no no, not good, not good at all!" Four hisses and runs to your side. "Did you eat any? Please tell me you didn't."

"Are they not good?" You tilts your head and try to keep your vision on Four but it's kind of hard to focus on just one of him. You don't remember there being so many Fours.

"No! You're not supposed to eat them! They're highly toxic!" Four grips your shoulders and begins to look over your face and check your eyes.

"Did you eat any?" He asks again, stressing the question more than you think is necessary.

You shake your head.

"Oh thank Hylia."

"I feel in the bush though."

Four groans enough that it sound more like a subdued scream. "Why?"

"I tripped." You giggle and try to stand up. "I heard my name AND FELL~! Hehehehe.."

"Ok. This..." Four sighs and looks around your surroundings for a second. He doesn't find what he's looking for. "...is not ideal."

" 'm sorry." You say and feel your lip start to wobble a little bit. "I didn't mean too."

"No. It's my Hyrule. I should have warned you guys. This is my fault." Four scoots in your direction and wraps his arms under your knees and behind your back.

He effortlessly lifts you up bridal style and doesn't hesitate to begin carrying you back to camp. "Time is going to have my head for this."

"No, he likes you too much." You blinks away what you can and try to think beyond the simple thoughts in front of you. "Everyone likes you. you're a likable person."

"Well thank you, but believe me. There are people who don't me." Four says with a snicker.

"Who are they? I'll fight them. Just say their names."

"You don't know them." Four furrows his eyebrows and chuckles disbelievingly.

"I can find them. And then I'll fight them. How dare they not like you!" You shout to the sky and wave your arm around like it's nobody's business. "You're one of the coolest people I know! That I've ever met! And I've met a lot of people! I've met this group! And you're still the coolest! Tell me their names, Link. I won't stand for this."

"It's not a big deal."

"I'm about to make it one."

"I won't tell you their names." Four shakes his head. Mostly because they're gone already so who cares.

"Then point your fingers Smithy because I'll find them and you won't have to worry about them any more." You say with so much resolution in your voice that Four has to stop himself from laughing out loud.

"Believe me, I don't worry about them."

"Oh so someone else got to them then. Good good."

He loses and laughs anyway. "No, not like that."

"There should be only people who love Link! Link haters are not allowed or welcome! Begone with those thoughts!" You cling to him weakly and Four has to grip you tighter to compensate for your flailing.

"Hold still, you're making this harder than it needs to be." Four snorts and shakes his head. "I deserve this. I deserve this and everything that's about to come. I know it. This is completely my fault."

"It's not your fault my head's hurting." You argue and frown. Because it's true. Your head ache tat you've been sporting since the start of your conversation has grown and it's beginning to be impossible to ignore.

"It kind of is, considering that it's a byproduct of the brumble bush." Four sighs. "Luckily, the antidote is pretty easy to make. The down side is that I'm not sure if I have all the ingredients and we're a little too far away from town to get more. I wonder if Hyrule can do something with his magic to help out... or at least lessen the effects so that it wears off."

"Will it last long?" You mumble and cradle your head in your hand. "I don't like this, Link."

"I don't like this either." He says. "If you didn't eat any of it than you should be fine in a few hours and it'll wear off on it's own but I don't think you want to be like this any longer than you have to be."

"Man, Link you're so smart. You know so much." You sigh and rest what you canon his shoulder. "I'm so glad I'm your friend... that we're friends and I want to keep being your friend. Can we keep being friends? Is it possible to be friends throughout different lifetimes?"

"I don't know but we can certainly try." Four grins and makes it back to camp a little easier now that you're so riled up. "I'm glad we're friends too."

"Yay!" You giggle and lay on the ground with little fan fair and with little convincing. "There's no much we have to do still... as friends and as a group. I love you guys!"

"And we love you!" Four snorts. "Get some sleep- it'll go faster. I'll wake you up when I have the antidote."

"Ok Smithy." You let your head hit the ground and close your eyes.

Four looked over his shoulder to where you are and smiles a little wistfully.

Until Time make his way to camp and eyes your torn and slightly bloody clothes before turning to Four with a raised eyebrow.

Four hisses again and raises his hand. "I can explain."

"You better."

[mamitomoesyandereblog]

Hi! Thank you so much for the writing I love it! I hope your doing good and taking care of yourself. Could I ask for a !Yandere human! Kyubey? If you’d rather not make him human than platonic? A scenario or head canon works just fine!

Of course! I apologize you had to wait this long anon, I'll try to reply quicker in the future. I actually was almost done with the headcannons but lost the draft, which is really annoying because I have to do everything over again-

Tw;

Yandere stuff , unusual behaviour, emotional instability, unhealthy relationship, mentions of death

I don't support this kind of actions or behaviour in any way; this is just fiction and should remain fiction.

(Spoilers For Puella Magi Madoka Magica ahead)

❣️Yandere! (Human) Kyubey x Reader❣️

So when I first got this ask I went "This is so interesting!! How do I make Kyubey a human though?" and then suddenly came up with an idea- Maybe it doesn't make complete sense but it's better than nothing (• ▽ •;)

So you and your friend come across him while you're walking home from school. He asks the both of you to become magical girls/magical in general by making a wish. It takes about a week for you and your friend to process everything and decide. Your friend makes a contract with him, while you decided to turn down his offer.

Then chaos starts. Your friend struggles to keep up with real life and her magical girl duties, slowly driving herself insane. You see her almost die multiple times already; and you can't do anything about it. And in the end...she turns into a witch before your very eyes. You're lucky to be saved by a magical girl who was passing by.

And you're full of anger.

Kyubey never mentioned anything about that while talking about the whole contract. He didn't do anything to prevent this. So you snap at him and he, as calm as ever, tells you the truth behind everything. About his kind, the reason Magical Girls existed in the first place. It makes your blood boil.

So you make a contract with him. Your wish is for him to become a Magical Girl, or rather Magical boy, as well. Then he can feel the pain your friend felt; then he can truly taste his own poison.

🐰 When Kyubey is suddenly turned into a human he panics. Maybe not on the outside but in the inside. He starts feeling so many things at once and it's overwhelming. Were those emotions? He shouldn't be feeling any emotions. It's not right, he shouldn't feel anything.

🐰 You could either leave him on his own to figure out everything or let him stay with you. On the one hand; you're still incredibly angry. On the other hand you're a magical girl/boy/magical in general too now so you need a teammate. Finding that other Magical Girl who saved you would take too long so you're pretty much stuck with him.

🐰 Kyubey as a human would probably look around your age (which is above 13 for obvious reasons) and keep the colour of his eyes. I imagine his hair being rather fluffy and white coloured with a bit of faint red at the edge. As much as I don't like Kyubey; I bet that he'd look pretty charming.

🐰 Even though he's now a human he still has some supernatural abilities such as telepathic communication, teleporting and disposing of grief seeds. He just eats them now-

🐰 Since you're stuck with him you try to teach him about emotions but it doesn't exactly work. He doesn't get the purpose or reason emotions exist even though he can now feel them himself. At first he'd act the same as before; cold and emotionless. However he'd still be able to feel everything.

🐰 You guys train and kill witches together, which tires him quite easily. He never imagined being a magical girl would be this hard since he was always in the background watching or simply giving advice. It kind of gets him thinking...was their offer really unfair?

🐰 At some point you almost die during battle. He manages to finish the witch on his own but quickly runs to you. He doesn't really know how human bodies work or how to help, so he simply uses both your and his soul gems in hopes of healing you in time. For the first time in his whole existence he feels genuinely scared and worried about another being.

🐰 That's when his yandere tendencies start. Once your healed and everything he's going to become rather clingy, always staying close to you no matter what. He never admitted it but he started enjoying your company a few weeks after he was turned into a human. And then maybe he starts feeling a new emotion...one that he's never heard of. One that makes him feel weird and his heart beat fast everytime when you're around.

🐰 He'll most likely ask you about it and if things get awkward between the two of you after that he'll be upset. He doesn't get why you seem uncomfortable by his presence and walk away after talking for like one minute with him. You never even bother explain it to him. The only time you're willing to communicate with him for more than that is during battle now and he doesn't like it.

🐰 He's going to confront you one day, whether you like it or not. But how your talk ends depends on how you feel about him. If you explain to him that new emotion and that you don't feel the same he'll be confused and..sad. He couldn't really understand what that emotion is even after you've explained it to him. The only thing he understood is that it means you want someone be with you and be happy. Although he can't blame you for not wanting him to be happy after everything.

🐰 He'll definitely apologize for you at some point; it may take some time for him to fully see things your way but once he does he's going to feel sorry. The thing is though...he doesn't exactly feel sorry because your friend turned into a witch or all the pain she went through. He feels sorry because he's simply scared you're going to be mad at him forever.

🐰 I bet some of you guessed it but that's because of your wish. By making a wish you also assign yourself a curse; especially if that wish has to do with someone else and not yourself. Kyubey is a human now and he does have feelings but only for you. He doesn't feel sympathy for other Magical Girls or anyone in general despite being a Magical boy himself. And those feelings are only going to grow stronger.

🐰 He gets more and more clingy, his emotions growing stronger and uncontrollable. And worst of all; you assigned them to him. You dug your grave two times because not only you're a magical girl but you also have a boy who grows even more possessive and overprotective as your teammate.

🐰 Once you start realising that it's already too late. You can't take your wish back and you can't make his emotions simply disappear. Soon he won't even let you talk with other friends or family members. Every emotion he has: anger, sadness, happiness, love is driven to the extreme in the end. Was taking revenge really worth it?

And that's all! I'm sorry that there wasn't that much wholesomeness in this but you've seen how creepy Kyubey can be in the manga. I decided to take advantage of that >:)

(And once again I'm really really sorry you had to wait this long dear anon, I'm sorry if you were disappointed ^^")

Requests are always open and I'll see you guys another time! Have a wonderful day/night and remember to take care of yourself! 💞💕

[wdwmarveldisney]

Again hey 😂I have like another 2 solid ideas for the same scenario and I promise you will have a break from me 😂so it’s a little after they have broken up and it’s it’s when void is coming and maybe he gives y/n mistletoe poisoning and she is in class ( a class she shares with the twins) and she starts to sweat and feel a little ill but brushes it off the Ethan and Aiden notice and r a little concerned but she brushes them off then suddenly she had to rush out the room and like throws up and the twins follow her and panic and try to find Scott which they do and isaac happens to be there ( and stiles if u want for comedic effect😂) and isaac starts to get protective and blame them for it and maybe void just poisoned her as a distraction for something

Mistletoe

Isaac Lahey x werewolf!reader

Summary: After a hectic morning, you ask Stiles for a drink. Doesn’t exactly turn out the best for you.

Masterlist

A/N: Alright, I think this is good? I’m going to be honest I’m not sure but I kinda like it so I’m keeping it.

GIF isn’t mine

Normally you were organised in the mornings. You weren't late, you had a rough mental schedule that you'd stick to no matter what and always made it to school on time. Except today, the power had gone out the night before and your alarm clock hadn't reset so you woke up late and there was like no food in the house and the water was all freezing since the boiler hadn't been sorted after the power cut. Everything was just going wrong and yet you still made it in time to meet Stiles and Scott by your locker, where they were waiting.

"Hey," you breathed, the other two sharing a worried look. They knew how you were about morning routines, never liking to stray too far because then you'd probably never actually make it anywhere. "You okay? You're late and you, like, reek of anxiety and like," Scot paused as his nose scrunched up and brows knitted together, "Exhaustion, I think," you gave a nod, sorting out your books and barely giving either a look. Once you were all done, you turned to them, nervous grin toying your lips, "Yeah. Do either have water? I'm, like, dying," your laugh was shaky and given your out of breath state, they could only just hear it. Stiles swung his bag around, pulling a bottle out and handing it over to you.

Too tired to care what you were drinking, you downed at least half, muttering a small apology that he waved off. Leaning against the lockers, you ignored the unsettling feeling in your stomach and instead took a deep breath and pushed off with the usual bright smile. "Ok then, maths," you patted Stiles shoulder as you passed the two baffled boys, making your way to Aiden's locker where you'd meet him and Ethan. You felt this wave of nausea after a few minutes, stumbling to lean on the wall for a couple of passing seconds. With another deep breath, though shaky this time, you got up and carried on like nothing happened.

The three of you were in maths, just by the door with a twin either side of you. Slowly throughout the lesson, it got worst. The nausea, the sweating, the feeling like you were going to passed out, the way everyone bone felt like it was weighing you down. You felt like you couldn't even breath properly. But it was nothing. It had to be nothing. A lot was going wrong right now and there were no answers for any of it so this could not be happening. After a while, the twins began to notice it all two, sharing worried looks and repeatedly asking if you were okay. Each time, you'd tell them you're fine and carry on staring at the blurring sheet. They didn't believe you of course.

A good thirty minutes into the class, was when you shakily got up and rushed out the room, stumbling down the hall. Luckily maths was right next to the girl's bathroom. Gagging heavily, you went straight there, just making it to a sink before you threw up. Two hands pulled back your hair but who was the least of your problems as you gripped the sink for support. Once you were done throwing up the breakfast you didn't have, you fell to the floor with two people either side talking to you, you think. Eyes going in and out of focus, you just about managed to make them out as Ethan and Aiden. The two helped you up, the name Scott being said at some point during their conversation.

You could just about feel your feet drag across the floor as they carried you, stopping a lifetime later. One disappeared from his place at your side, the other wrapping his arm more tightly around you. When he came back, another three blurry figures with him. Scott, Stiles and Isaac. Just bloody perfect. You were rushed into another room, empty classroom possibly, and were placed to lean on a table but you quickly slumped down with a worried Scott crouching in front of you. "Y/N, hey, do you know what's happening?"

"What did you do?" You groaned at Isaac's loud and rather angry voice, blinking at him to see his fierce glare at the twins. "Nothing, she came into class like this. Said she was fine," Ethan protested and you let your head fall into Stiles' shoulder as you watched the three. "Oh really? Because she seemed fine this morning!" You could see the claws and bright eyes, heavy breathing pattern visible through the rise and fall of his chest. Knowing you had to stop it, you managed a small, "Isaac," that successfully got his attention. He was by your side in seconds with one last quick glare to the twins.

Suddenly, everything clicked and you huffed, mumbling, "Water," Stiles reached straight for his bag and pulled it out, offering you the bottle to which you frantically shook your head, repeatedly mumbling "No," the five boys shared confused stares until it seemed to click for Stiles too and he gestured for Scott to smell the water. The alpha did so, eyebrows scrunching together in confusion until realisation took control of his features. "Mistletoe," he mumbled, all of them looking to a nodding you. Isaac gripped your hand tightly, trying to feel your temperature only to pull his hand back. You could barely feel the touch, head lolling to rest on Stiles' shoulder again and hand falling limp in Isaac's.

You could hear his panicked voice mix with the others but it didn't stop you from passing out, throwing up the black blood just before.

-

Everything hurt. It ached and killed and you felt like stone. Not able to move, you instead focused on what you could hear which was low whispers you could t quite make out. Definitely Isaac though. You knew that panicked ramble. A groan slipped past your lips as you finally willed your eyes opened and struggled to sit up. Two hands rested against your shoulders, gently pushing you back down and you couldn't find it in you to fight back. You glanced to Isaac, who's gaze fixed on you with worry shining through.

"You okay?" You scoffed at the question, shoving his hands away as you looked to see Scott and Aiden still in the room. You grumbled to yourself with a frown making it’s way to your lips, “Oh yeah, I just almost died. That’s exactly my perfect day,” the sarcastic quip made his face fall to a deadpan look and he tried to get you to look at him but you maintained eye contact with Scott, clearly conveying the frustration you had with the boy. It had been very back and forth between the two of you since the break up. One minute he cared and the next he didn’t want to see you. You weren’t saying he didn’t have reasons but it had gotten to a point where you were sure you had whiplash from how quickly his moods change.

“Do you know who did it?” Each look panicked for a second and when they turned back to you, they saw how you looked round confused, “Where’s Stiles?” They didn’t know how to tell you. They didn’t know how to bring up Void and how he’d recently made a show and how he was the one who poisoned you. They didn’t know how to tell you that Stiles was in Eichen. So you sat there clueless, waiting for the silence to clear. One look to Isaac and he broke, explaining everything.