#i keep figuring out cool new things
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Lamie-Senpai noticed Serena
>serena.exe broke
I started reading Bocchi The Rock! recently and was working on this while I was away. Bocchi and Serena are kindred spirits (besides the pink hair 😂) I feel like if Serena met @lamieboo she would be overwhelmed with awe 😂😂
#i just had to redraw that one scene from bocchi#warmup art before i continue on commissions#i keep figuring out cool new things#bocchi is so relatable#hogwarts legacy#hogwarts legacy fanart#hogwarts legacy mc#serena kosmos#lamie boo
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#--/ art#--/ story#ava the dark lord#⬇⬇⬇ context in the tags ⬇⬇⬇#alan becker#animator vs animation#animation vs minecraft#ava the chosen one#it is done !! ok ill give y'all the intro context synopsis now#the story goes that way way way way before Showdown cho and dark used to sneak into abandoned-looking buildings in the city at night#and one such target they stumble upon happens to be a storage room containing artifacts from Minecraft#the most interesting being the beds.#on this particular outing cho and dark were returning from other shenanigans and could use a place to rest. perfect!#dark belly-flops onto the right bed (scooting them out of alignment) and strikes a pose.#while chosen is shoving them back together again... oh. he's already asleep? ...???#!!! the beds draw you in if you get too close!#so what was supposed to be half an hour at most rest turned into the whole night. they skedaddled and forgot about the freaky beds.#until. a certain someone goes and dies :333#you get it now ! ! !#it was dark diesn't ALL ALONG-#yeah and then for extra spice i threw in that the hooded stick King meets with during his episode to buy a command block...#...happens to own that storage room.#thus and so begins more brand new shenanigans with dark interacting with this shady rando. i call em seafoam#i highly extremely doubt there's a tag for seafoam . . . wiki calls them only 'hooded stick figure'#anyhow. behind the scenes this was also a practice of drawing things in 3D... keeping on model... and composition for storytelling#and i learned some things about how Whiteboard works too :o i. didn't know about the fill tool. it is cool#yayaya!! so that's been in my head for a while.#thx for reading <3 <3 ill be posting some close-up shots of this and other things i put on the whiteboard later#Minecraft bed
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The original in the bottom
Plus the picture I mainly drew but decided to draw the rest for funny
#thats not my neighbor#milk man#just tried to draw something in my mind to post along with saying some updates#monday the people are gonna give my grandma the keys to the house! while i have to stay at my aunts place for wifi for school#(online school)#my moms gonna be moving things out of storage into the house! AAAA I CANT WAIT#also little welcome home update#im not sure if i said here? wait nevermind i just remembered while typing (it was that i got barnaby and the pins) AAA silly me#also im making a little julie out of clay (if i wake up and their messed up i am NOT redoing that😭)#the legs are a little messed up because julie was gonna be the size of an hatsune miku figure on accident so i chose to shorten her a bit#only because im not sure if im gonna make the others too AND because theres no way hes gonna be THAT tall😭#also! im making easter art#yes its barnaby and wally again just for fun! but a few changes like keeping their regular outfits because i cant think of anything else!!!#why not the ones in the old easter drawing? welllll a follower said that wallys outfit looked a bit familiar to another not so good thing#it wasnt on purpose just an accident because i hadn't notice BUT im glad i know now so i can be more careful!#im not sureeee if im gonna finish the easter art OR the julie clay thingy but I'd love too! and honestly HOPE to#high chance i will (well maybe the easter art could be late or not)#maaaaaaaaaaaAAAAAA trying to think if theres anything else but cant! ill try posting this hoping my wifi wont hate me...#also i know i said this account was for welcome home posting but i didnt have any cool welcome homey things to put here gahhhhh#ehehehhe once i get my new room and its allllll just me#imma post like crazy (wellll that IS the plan so i hope)#even if its little dumb posts#by the way this post was gonna say on top “i know i said this account is for welcome home posting but TAKE THIS FOR LITTLE UPDATES”#just removed it because i dunnooooo just didded#hehe didded
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I'm sick so I'm sorry if this doesn't make sense, but I've been thinking about the nature of myths recently as I've been exploring hellenic polytheism.
For context: I'm ex-Mormon. I was raised in the church and, because of that, was taught biblical literalism but in, like, a more subtle way than most? I was raised believing that Adam & Eve and Noah's Ark, etc., were literally true, but that the story of Job specifically was not; I also always knew evolution and the Big Bang to be correct, despite there being a verse in the Doctrine & Covenants (a Mormon-specific religious book) where God apparently told Joseph Smith that the world is 6,000 years old- a passage I didn't know existed until my senior year of high school. I didn't realize I had believed in biblical literalism until I'd left the church, actually.
Now that I'm aware of it, it's a mindset I'm actively trying to combat while I explore Hellenic polytheism. It's definitely been a task to separate the nature of the Gods from their myths, as brutal as they often are. And it's something I've noticed within the community, too, which I think is interesting. It makes sense: Christianity, at least, has had a chokehold on much of the world for a long time, and so many of us have experienced literalism as our first interaction with any sort of holy text (though, of course, Greek myths as a whole aren't that) alongside our first experience with divinity as a wrathful God whose flaws are waved away, or ignored, or twisted into positive attributes. This also means that I'm trying to re-approach several deities with an open mind (Zeus, Hera, and Ares in particular, but many of them to some extent) while also trying to un-condition myself. I was already in the process of doing this, of course, but trying to figure out how to interact with a completely different pantheon has made that especially clear.
It extends to things like prayer and offerings, too. Prayers were very formulaic growing up, even though most of the time there wasn't a strict script to follow. There was always something you ask as part of the prayer, even if it's just 'please help me do better tomorrow' (alongside giving thanks, of course), so trying to craft a prayer without adding *everything* I'm used to including in makes it feel incomplete and, therefore, disrespectful. And daily prayer is something I'm resistant to because of prior experiences with it. I don't want to offend any of the gods by asking for something or asking for too much, especially so early on, and there's always a promised offering the few times I *have* asked. Add worries about exact obedience on top of that and it's proving to be a difficult thing to untangle. And I know that the gods are difficult to offend, figuring out how to do this takes trial & error and that's okay, it'll get better the more I do it, etc., etc.; this is more an issue with my own overthinking than anything else (hooray for ✨ mental health issues ✨). I'm not really asking for advice here, necessarily, just thinking out loud because I'm not comfortable talking to people in meat space about it yet.
#also: the whole thing about cleanliness? as someone w/ mental health issues? Rough. very rough. what counts? how individualized is it?#if i cant get my room (where my shrines are/will be) clean does that mean i cant give any offerings?#is just washing my hands and/or veiling actually okay most of the time? even when ive been struggling to shower?#when does something require a change of clothes? or do i have to do that every time i offer something at any point in the day?#including meal/drink (ex steam from tea) offerings? i dont have that many clothes besties#if im pouring out an offering to hermes on my way home from work do i have to somehow wash my hands first b/c i just got off public transit#can i pour it directly from my water bottle or do i have to keep a little separate bottle of water just for libations?#and like. i know logically the answer is 'do whatever you can and you'll figure it out' but it hasnt sunk in yet#it's always...interesting when a new layer of religious trauma tm gets discovered#also. maybe it's just the 'tism but 'just jump in!' and 'go slow at the beginning' seem contradictory to me#like. you cant do both??? i dont think??? 'just jump in' is the answer ive been getting when i do tarot so im trying to do that#also. doubts? not offending a deity??? wild concept. just. the hardest thing to wrap my head around. mormon god's ego is FRAGILE fr#hellenic pagan#helpol#hellenic polytheism#not adding exmo tags b/c i dont have a good enough handle on the community here & im too sick to deal with people being weird about this#my post#coriander says#seeing people get into the theological weeds is cool from the outside (see: that 'can spiderman do superhero stuff on the sabbath' post)#but very stressful when there's not centuries on centuries of detailed information to draw from & everyone's just trying to figure shit out#in a world that's *very* different from the one the information we *do* have was written down in#christianity cw#mormonism cw
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currently captive audience to a knock down drag out fight in my brain between desire to respect the wishes of the creator and not look for anyone redistributing the comic and god i fucking miss wonderlab i miss wonderlab so much you have no idea i want wonderlab back so bad
#project moon#wonderlab#seriously wonderlab was so fucking good that like#the entire time pre-limbus release every time we got news i would get so excited for a potential followup on wonderlab's ending#and the idea of seeing characters like taii#with amazing designs from a comic that already had some absolutely stunning imagery#drawn in a style like the absolutely fucking beautiful painterly style of ruina's character art and cgs#getting to see more of taii and the other survivors of the branch and seeing where their lives would go after that ending#seeing how the loss of so many important people would affect them and how they'd struggle in the aftermath of l corp's collapse#we already had ONE distortion in the ending of wonderlab with catt and that happened BASICALLY MOMENTS AFTER LOBCORP'S ENDING#can you IMAGINE how cool it'd be to see all of these characters#who already have experience with combat and ego and weird anomalous monsters via their work in the branch#react to and potentially figure out and adapt to the distortion phenomenon?#LITERALLY THE WHOLE CONCEPT OF LIMBUS IS GOING INTO FORMER L CORP BRANCHES#THAT'S THE SELLING POINT OF THE GAME! THAT'S WHY WE'RE HERE! OF COURSE I WOULD GET EXCITED ABOUT MORE WONDERLAB STUFF!#BUT NOW WE'LL NEVER GET THAT#WE'LL NEVER SEE TAII AGAIN IN OFFICIAL MEDIA#WE'RE JUST LEFT WITH THE MEMORY OF THAT FINAL PANEL AND TAII GAZING OVER THIS STUNNINGLY BEAUTIFUL SURREAL LANDSCAPE#WITH PROMISES OF A JOURNEY WE'RE NO LONGER ALLOWED TO SEE#FUCK I MISS WONDERLAB#wonderlab was so fucking good that it accidentally became the cornerstone of my entire perspective on project moon's works as a whole#and now that it's gone i can't go back to lobcorp or ruina without feeling its absence like a gaping void in my chest#the only thing left in its place being the knowledge of the shitshow that was the drama surrounding project moon for a while#and the thought that maybe in a different world we would've gotten to see more#FUCK man#no joke i literally made myself cry typing this whole rant out#suddenly learning that wonderlab had been taken down was a fucking wound i have never recovered from#and i've never been able to look at ruina or limbus with the same sense of awe and wonder and curiosity ever since#just the bitter knowledge that yet another formerly beloved story and world has fallen into corporate nightmares and gacha cash grabs#i haven't been able to keep up with project moon much at all since. i don't know if anything else has happened.
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guess whos not going in at all this week, actually
#MY MANAGER EMAILED LIKE 2 HOURS B4 I HAD TO GO IN#she finally changed my schedule (1 day) to the night shift today#(i emailed her to be safe just kinda casually reaffirming im going in at the new time & then asking if any other shifts wanted 2 be changed#bcs that sounds great to me whstever option she goes with#she ignored that question & i get a new email from her asking if i completed a training. lets called it DOC#basically a long time ago she said 'i will send you DOC instructions soon' .. a few days pass and i get three 50 paged packets#one is called NAVIGATING DOC#im like oh ok cool that must be the DOC training shes talking abt bcs the other 2 packets were abt various trainings#NAH BRUH. APPARENTLY THE DAY IM SUPPOSED TO GO IN. SHE MESSAGES ME SOME ENTIRELY ALIEN PROGRAM#and is like 'u completed this right? cus if u didnt u cant come in today.'#LIKE?? MAYBE I WOULDA IF U SENT THE SHIT#but it's also like. dam i shouldve emailed prompting her to send what she said she would n clarifying BUT FUCK#WHY DO I GOTTA?? IM NOT THE MANAGER#she literally told me the name of the program rn thru email so i type it in and see like four hour long modules to complete#mind u i aint never even been informed a WHISPER abt this new program. nothings even labeled DOC TRAINING#but my struggle is. was i notified this?? and i just didnt see??? was i supposed to clarify with her what the DOC training was exactly??#the only thing ive heard abt doc training b4 this is 'i need to send u DOC training soon' in EMAIL. so i expected an alert#abt THE DOC TRAINING... in an EMAIL notification. WHAT THE HELL IS THIS#idk man#i dont even care bro like im busy as hell & the work is just to build clinic hours so i dont care abt the money factor#it's just like. can we get this first day jitters thing over with already?? im so over this bro#yaddayadda i emailed her an apology n ill be on that ASAP shit. but i did let her know i am basically justnnow seeing this site#n if there was any email or notif that couldve/tried to inform me of its existence 2 pls let me know / figure out how to find it#so the issue doesnt occur again & i dont have to keep botherinher which im so srry of bcs med is stress n shes just trying to get by#but still bro im a lil miffed bcs she probably thinks im stupid now and now im wondering if i AM#bcs WDYM ONLINE MODULES. AINT NOBODY SAID SH IT EVEN ABT THE EXISTENCE OF THEM!!! i wouldve pressed harder 4 clarification#if i knew it was an ONLINE MODULE i had to look out for on some randomass site i didnt even know the name of until now#instead of the EMAIL UVE BEEN 'COMMUNICATING' WITH ME ON#ARREGHHHHHHHH IM NOT STUPID. I SWEAR IM NOT STUPID FUCCK MY BAKA LIFE
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I love learning ASL it’s so good. Makes me happy to learn it. I’m so glad my university has classes for it with professors actually steeped in Deaf culture.
#blue chatter#am I good at ASL? hahahahahahaha. no.#ASL and English grammar are incredibly different and even when I remember my vocab I am easily clockable as hearing#but I do have some language capacity now. enough to communicate the basics.#and I just. genuinely really enjoy it. it’s fun to learn and engaging in a way most of my classes just aren’t.#and I can. yanno. communicate respectfully w Deaf ppl. and learn about their culture#which is incredibly important given that I want to go into a field where there is a higher incidence than typical of Deaf people#autistic? you’re more likely to be Deaf!#not to mention the fact that sign language can sometimes be a useful alternative to speech for nonspeaking/nonverbal people#depending on the person obvi; some nonspeaking/nonverbal autistics cannot use sign language and that’s okay#but surely at some point I will encounter either a Deaf client or a nonspeaking/nonverbal client who uses ASL#and when that time comes I should have some idea of how to communicate with them#I also rly like the Deaf church by my parents’ house#their community is really welcoming and their services are really interesting#I think it’s rly cool how they take intentions directly from the congregation#they’ll raise their hands and then sign what their intention is from their pew to the ambo#which is rly neat#it is funny bc every time I go the Deaf ppl I talk to will tell each other ‘go slow she’s hearing’#which is ENTIRELY fair bc. I am hearing. and I do need them to go slower.#but it also makes me laugh bc truly everyone knows within a few minutes.#oh hey the new person? they’re hearing. yeah they’re learning ASL at college. sign slowly for her.#which again makes sense bc a big Deaf culture thing is keeping ppl informed. it’s not gossip it’s getting everyone on the same page.#Deaf ppl do NOT beat around the bush that is like the height of rudeness to them. u say what u mean goshdangit. do not waste their time.#which I appreciate the heck out of bc i don’t have to try and phrase things delicately or w/e#it was also funny bc my mom came w me while I was home for Christmas and they asked her if I was her kid#and she said yes. and the lady running the kid’s craft corner thing was like ‘great you’re doing a craft now’#and I’m sitting there. visibly over 18 years old. amongst several seven year olds. trying desperately to figure out how to say hot glue gun#I made a v pretty pinecone tree it was a lot of fun ^-^
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Anyways nothing in the show made me cry till seeing ekko and Mel sitting there alone and it doesn’t even have to do with powder and Jayce it’s the fact that they have to get up the next day its exhausting like there’s so much work to do.
#and sevika to a lesser extent#like it’s less sad for me bc she’s got a support group#like ig it’s bc this is moving up for her#she still has shit to get done but yknow#but for Mel and ekko#she’s gotta deal with being an actual ruler now these new abilities and what they mean#she might be glancing over her shoulder everyday bc what if there’s another black rose#and ekko#man he’s still gotta figure out his tree#and they still have to keep it pushing bc ok fuck playing into the council I hate that sorry#but there’s just so much fucking work to do after 10 minutes of relaxing#and it’s like#idk how to feel about arcane like idk#it feels the same a oitnb to me#commentary on no happy endings but it just so happens the main white characters got theirs#even that jinx lived theory grinds my gears bc it’s like#ofc mel and ekko got the short end of the stick. writing and fandom wise like always#and it’s like the show touches on certain things and can’t follow through bc nobody actually cares about black characters and their stories#but also if this is just expanding into wider lol lore it’s like#having the stories set up or finish in a#I don’t wanna say unsatisfactory but like in a way where it’s real#the ball keeps rolling#that’s cool#but it’s not even that it’s just. more care ig#yeah. I want more care for black characters#I wish whoever fought for cait and vi playing house or saw it as a deserved ending or whatever#someone who decided that mel shouldn’t have finished sitting there alone#that maybe ekko deserved to lay down and sleep even if he cried#like it doesn’t have to be a happy ending. if ekkos last scene was just him sobbing over what he lost it’d feel different#but it’s not in his nature to be that selfish. selfish enough to cry freely. free u my heart. 💔💔💔
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i'm so normal about all the things swimming around in my head right now, i'm chewing on the walls
#born to christen the new sketchbook with cool things#forced to write out backstory#I love DnD I love playing it I love my characters I love character building in a vacuum#BUT#as soon as I have a group and need to be ready in a week I die#inner critic at volume 100 every idea I ever had is bad actually and I keep getting lost in details#'divination wizard that studies divination to figure out how to evade a prophecy' sounds so fun on paper#especially with the added flavor of 'they're from a cult devoted to the god of divination and left them behind for this'#but like#to fill that out#aughhh#is the person that would be harmed in the prophecy a sibling or friend?#are they part of the cult or not?#who are the people in the cult?#what's the family situation actually?#so much to consider#I'm thinking maybe in the cult and really devoted so they don't want to leave and will resent my character for trying to save them#but still sibling or friend?#mh#honestly chances are this will have very minor involvement actually because the campaign is in one city and they hail from a different one#but still#I'm just rambling to the void cause it helps me think lmao#congrats to whoever actually reads my tags#I also haven't even decided if I play a gnome or dragonborn or maybe a tiefling afterall agh#tbf that has little bearing on the character but that's the ISSUE I have nothing to tie in
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weekend melancholy is starting to kick in >~<
#im gonna go and do my food shop etc to keep myself busy and hopefully my 2nd meds will kick in and we'll be able to handle it together#i think i kind of do this so regularly bc my brain is just processing everything bc i dont rly have time during the week#all cool tho im doing good overall def on the up n i feel way more capable of coping emotionally which is nice. i <3 meds#also.. possibly settling on the idea that i might be agender. very tentatively. lots of experiences n thoughts coming together rn#ive been reacting in unexpected ways to a lot of gendered shit atm which has made me reconsider the way i think abt myself#but very difficult to articulate it to myself let alone anyone else. so ive been sitting with it for now until it precipitates#gender stuff has never rly affected me much or ive never been in a place to explore it which is why i havent thought abt it super hard#but im not the sort of person who needs a lot of internal exploration to figure out my identity like im v self aware tbh#and while im wildly indecisive abt most things in my life for some reason i never have been abt stuff like this. i learned abt lesbianism#like idk 9 years ago-ish and straight away was like yeah that makes sense for me. never looked back since#n similarly ive experienced forms of gender dysphoria before n just immediately dealt with it symptomatically n moved on#its never been smth to agonise abt for me like i know what makes me comfortable in my skin so theres no question abt doing it#and ik im privileged to be able to do that. and also it helps that gender for me is mostly divorced from external perceptions#+ that im v autistic so social pressures dont stick to me very well. i mean yeah i was bullied for it as a kid but i was stubborn asf#so yeah from the moment i realised i was genuinely uncomfortable/upset abt it earlier this week i was like okay. lets try this instead#its given me pretty instant relief from any distress i was feeling so far which is nice. rare respite from one of my torture labyrinths#just testing out internally whether it frames things more clearly n makes me feel more myself/at peace before i choose to stick w the idea#but not gonna do a whole coming out fanfare either way. dont think i wanna change how ppl interact w me + im still a dyke#so i dont consider it relevant to anyone else unless they share a similar understanding of gender to me. or if we're v close#ill prolly broach it w other trans friends eventually bc insert philosophers talking image. but to everyone else its business as usual#happy to play my cis-sona at work. + w new queer ppl i meet ive been introducing myself recently w mirrored pronouns instead of any/all#and i think i prefer that. virtually indistinguishable but theres smth nice abt inviting ppl to recognise me the way they do themselves#like translating + localising a non-gendered language into a gendered one... simplifying decisions abt how to perceive me#and ofc ppl are still gonna perceive me however but idc much unless we're actually friends. the rest is all a performance anyway#doubtful anyone on here ever has reason to refer to me but if u do for some reason... im freeloading off ur pronouns now btw <3#but yeahhh. much 2 think abt. i need to read more alien/ai sci fi.. non-human sentience has been such a comforting concept lately#but yea tldr i woke up one morning this week like damn im prolly agender but i have a full time job to go to rn so idc abt that#.diaries#okkkk my dex is kicking in im no longer on the verge of tears lets go get these groceries wooohoooo
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You know its pretty fucked up that ADHD will not only make it hard for you to complete the cool interesting stuff you wanna do but also then make you forget about all the cool interesting stuff you have done as soon as you finish it.
#I wrote the lyrics to a full concept album adaptation of Venom (2018)#I rewrote julius caesar by shakespeare to be about cheerleaders#I memorized the first paragraph or so of the skyrim theme which doesnt sound impressive at first#except it was the dragon language version and i memorized it phonetically by keeping a printed out copy of the lyrics on me at all#I memorized dan bulls creeper rap felt uncomfortable with one of the lyrics changed it and then memorized the new version#i do a ton of art i have a bunch of cool stuff ive made i write great poetry#idk like it is frustrating that a lot of things i do i want to do more with but cant figure out the next steps or how to show it to people#but I do a lot of real cool stuff yknow?#original content
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i think i can say pretty confidently that, unless Life gets in the way, i WILL be streaming “We Love Katamari REROLL+ Royal Reverie” when it comes out in June
#ray streams#i was already planning to stream we love katamari eventually but i figured i'd have to use emulation#pretty cool that i'll be able to just get it on steam!!#might even try to stream it on launch day if i can fit it in my schedule#the problem is that i have no idea what my schedule will be in june#if things work out; i'll be settled into a new home and a new job by then#so yeah i'm anticipating some very major life changes in the coming months & i don't yet know exactly how it's all gonna turn out!!!!#but by god i will do my best to keep playing video games on twitch dot tv. because i like to doing the it <3
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whoops
#it's nothing crazy lol i just.#my new coworker keeps falling asleep. which is understandable but not cool bc we need to be awake?#as in literally the whole reason we're here is to be awake while everyone else is asleep. it's fully a safety thing. so that sucks#but anyway her sleeping breathing is both the loudest and quickest I've ever heard. i mean like she's breathing in every other second#like her breathing in and out is in sync with the seconds counter on my watch. and it sounds like she's VERY congested?#basically it's very loud and annoying. im not mad at her abt the breathing thing bc that's not her fault.#(but jesus god it's so autistically annoying.) (and i AM mad abt the sleeping thing. we've all done it but sleeping the whole time?? rude)#ANYWAYS. i was staring at her bc i was trying to figure out like. is she actually asleep rn? is smthn wrong?#and then she jerked awake and looked directly at me. which like. what the fuck. ok#so that's where I'm at currently ✌️#rowan raps#edit: she started FULLY snoring and my other coworker dropped her keys loudly to try to wake her up. it did not work.#edit 2: she's watching some show on her phone without headphones. also my other coworker fully left and is somewhere else? idk
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The Shen Jiu & Shen Yuan dynamic I need to see more of is Shen Jiu coming to see Shen Yuan as a father figure, perhaps even a mother figure. And not in the way you think.
We are always talking about Shen Yuan's wife beam, but we don't talk about his mommy beam. I think Shen Jiu could resist the wife beam if subjected to it, but I don't believe he has any defense against the mommy beam. Now, I'm not talking about Shen Yuan transmigrating earlier than canon, meeting a child Shen Jiu and adopting him.
I'm talking about Shen Yuan transmigrating after Shen Jiu has already taken over Qing Jin peak. I'm talking about 21 year old Shen Yuan transmigrating into the body of a nameless rogue cultivator, meeting fully grown man already in his thirties Peak Lord Shen Qingqiu, and hitting him with his mommy/daddy-issuesinator and causing him a life threatening Qi deviation.
Shen Qingqiu can't help but trust him, and eventually looks up to him, sees him as a wise elder he seeks out for advice. He fucking hates it but he can't help himself. This homeless man he met in the forest is the closest thing he's ever had to a father. Also. He sort of wants Shen Yuan to breastfeed him in a, and he means this, non sexual way and he can't cope with that. He would just feel so safe!!
Shen Yuan, 21 years old, rogue cultivator, first time transmigrator and the father who stepped up, thinks he befriended the scum villain, and maybe? He can be a good influence on him? Be a good friend and guide him towards a fully limbed future. He's practically raising him but nobody tell him that.
Shen Jiu lost his childhood to slavery and his teenage years to violent madmen. and now he's behaving in ways he doesn't understand. He once lost sight of Shen Yuan in the town's market, ran towards a man who looked exactly like Shen Yuan from behind, and almost had a panic attack when the man turned out to be a stranger. It's all good because Shen Yuan found him before he started swinging Xiu Ya ("Have you seen my friend? He's this tall, clearly traumatized, but we haven't had the talk")
People think they're lovers at some point because Shen Jiu is quite possessive of Shen Yuan's attention, but everybody realizes that there's something way more innocent, and also weirder, and worse, going on between them when Shen Yuan drags Shen Qingqiu by the hand to apologize to the sect leader for being so rude when poor A-Yue is trying his best, and stands there with arms crossed, eyebrows raised, until Shen Qingqiu mumbles an apology, glances at Shen Yuan, and runs away.
"I'm sorry about that, Sect Leader Yue, he's had a bad day. I'm sure he didn't mean it."
Yue Qingyuan, someone who did actually sort of raise Shen Qingqiu, who's stood in Shen Yuan's shoes before, extracting reluctant apologies from a sullen Shen Jiu, to authority figures so he wouldn't get in trouble, is overcome by an intense, never before experienced wave of jealousy, so sudden it makes him spit vinegar flavored blood.
Then, a panicked Shen Yuan accidentally hits him with the mommy beam by accidentally adopting him (trying to befriend this guy who clearly needs a friend he can confide in!). And now he's placed himself in the young step-mom role who's desperately trying to bond with her new husband's teenage children but they're wired to not like her! (He used those exact words when explaining to Shang Qinghua where that new tension he has with the Sect Leader came from)
Liu Qingge is afraid of him. Maybe. He runs away when their eyes meet but he keeps leaving dead things at his feet so like, he's probably threatening him? He feels intimidated by him? Or something?
(Liu Qingge thinks Shen Qingqiu's older brother is so cool and really wants to hang out with him, but if Shen Yuan calls him Didi one more time Liu Qingge's barely held back "Yes, Gege?" Is going to jump out of his mouth and he WILL Qi deviate and EXPLODE)
When Binghe enters the equation shit gets a lot weirder.
First, he believes Shen Yuan to be Shen Qingqiu's neglected spouse (Shizun keeps leaving his poor wife alone when he goes out on night hunts and to visit brothels! Shen Yuan has needs!! He should be with someone who cherished him!! Someone who would treat him as he deserves to be treated, someone who'd wait hand and foot on him!!!) needless to say, Luo Binghe's teenage fantasies take on an even more illicit turn than in canon (it goes from "STERN TEACHER POUNDED BY STUDENT AT BAIZHAN TRAINING GROUNDS" to "NEGLECTED WIFE CHEATS WITH STUDENT ON HUSBAND'S BED!! IMPREGNATED WHILE HUSBAND IS AWAY")
Luo Binghe, of course, does his best to seduce him, but ends up being coddled and cuddled.
"it's like I'm his handmaiden, his shadow, the only witness to my lady's heartbreak at her husband's cold regard and indiscretions. Shizun won't spare him a moment if not to discuss cultivation or business! He won't allow Shen Yuan more than a head pat! and move away from any other touch! How ungrateful! They don't even share a bed! I brush his hair, I dress him every morning, I pour him tea and he lets me rest my weary head on his lap. The intimacy we share is not sexual, but Ning-Shijie, I wish it was! I saw the outline of his dick yesterday and I need it!"
"A-Luo please stop talking."
Then, he realizes he misunderstood. Shen Yuan is a cultivator so of course he looks so young! Shen Yuan is clearly Shen Qingqiu's father. He's constantly worried for his un-filial son and remains by his side!! That explains everything!!!(LONELY DILF RIDES YOUNG MAN ON QING JING'S LIBRARY!! HE WISHES YOUNG MAN WAS HIS SON!!!!)
He goes from trying to steal Shen Qingqiu's wife to steal his father. He could be Shen Yuan's friend, lover, and son. His student. His confidant. His silly rabbit.
Shen Qingqiu KNOWS this. But nobody will fucking believe him!! The jiejies at the pavilion giggle and tell him he must be exaggerating, and when he went to Yue Qingyuan so he could intervene and fix it, Yue Qi just looked at him dead eyed and said to "Let him." !!! Let him what?? Deflower our father Qi-Ge??? Shame on you!! That beast is trying to break this family apart!!
But wait!!! look!!! a crack opened in the fabric of space and reality, leading directly to hell. Wouldn't it be a shame if someone were to, accidentally, drop kick this homewrecker inside it?
Luo Binghe is gone when Shen Qingqiu realizes oh wait, that was a demon mark on his forehead wasn't it. Oh good, now he has an excuse. Baba will understand.
(Baba doesn't understand. Baba acts as if he's lost his soul and won't look him in the eye. He's also growing mushrooms bodies in the garden, and added a drop of Shen Qingqiu's blood in the seeds before planting? Which is odd. but at least if he's gardening then he's not staring at that swordmound for hours on end)
I don't even know where I'm going with this
#bingqiu#svsss#shen yuan#shen jiu#listen#i just believe shen yuan has the ability to give everybody he knows some sort of complex and we need to explore that#also#sj in a very ooc move adopts a random homeless man he met in a dark forest as his father. thinks man must be decades older than him#sy in a very in character move raises up to the occasion without a clue of what he's rising up to. once he finds out people think he's like#fifty or a hundred years old. he just.... lets them. whatever he's an old soul#he's always been mature for his age#mip
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i've been dabbling with the hot new gacha reverse/1999 and its... okay so far. like everything is presented gorgeously and the battle system seems fun! but i can just tell this is NOT a game that's going last for me >_>
#so far my biggest take away is everything is so fucking tutorial heavy. RELEASE ME WENCH!!! shut up just let me figure it out#its genuinely extremely frustrating having the same things explained to me multiple times#and i know that's what the new gacha experience is nowadays. its whatever. it will literally stop being a problem shortly#but it is significantly impacting my experience because it sucks#but that aside. the reason the games not going to stick is the designs.#some of them (like the girl whos a stack of tvs) are really cool but...#the lower rarities have cool and innovative designs and the high rarities just kinda look like some fucking woman numbers 1 through 6#(also... predictably... the lack of cute guys... theres a dog but no sexy fellows? wtf)#also also. i don't have time for this. this isn't really giving me sidegame energy and fgo is really busy atm#going to keep playing for a few weeks and drop it methinks. not even going to both setting up a tag that'd be pointless#post: chatter
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:P
#bro i keep like opening tumblr as i do always and then seeing this new fucking desktop layout and then im just like#ew gross it's so ugly#close it out and then i do it again lol#anyway bro i'm like realizing all this beginning of the year stuff coming up and im like i should've done things earlier#as;lkgndfjhg;alkjdshg and part of my stupid me is like that's bad ur doing bad w everything i do#regarding club directoring dfnjdkjflh lol#its OK WE'RE FIGURING STUFF OUT#IIIIIIMMMMMM RLY FIGURING STUFF OUT#like how to be a goddamn leader of a club lol#it's ok agh we're doing it we're figuring it out <3 i'm figuring it out i've never done this shit before it's all good#i need to remember to like give myself grace and shit like dw about making mistakes i need to make mistakes#also like this one thing we're figuring outrn last yr we did not do it . so i do not have timeline/experience from last yr to go off of lol#ok cool we're over that for now LOL i gotta do some work bc me and my family went out today so i haven't done shit#and i'm also slightly behind on my research work XD#aka if i wanna finish my summer goal which is like chill and lowkey and it's not a big deal if i dont finish it but i want to finish it#i rly have to do work every day which is completely doable. it's not even that much every day#iiiiiii just suck at doing work LOL#anyway we were at a park today hiking and the way that i have never ever been stung by a wasp/bee in my life#and then like 2 seconds into this hike i got stung by a wasp on my leg lol <3#idk why it's kinda funny to me LOL but i mean it was fine#anyway anyway lemme do some work even tho im very tired from da today hehehe it was fun tho#jeanne talks
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