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jollyhunter · 5 hours ago

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Girl, let me tell you I was also giggling the entire time I wrote this. This fic was so self indulgent because the reader IS me, one billion percent, the awkward anxious person who has no idea how to catch someone's attention 😆 But I love it resonated with you too (but I'm also sorry it took you back to your past trauma lol 😂)

Nahh, don't feel sorry, it led to some hilarious 'sharing awkward moments' of old times with my bf 😂

if you haven't read As Tradition Dictates, you need to because it's so good and it's been living rent free in my head since I read it.

I don't know it but I'll defnitely need to give it a read now, thanks!

I can see Butcher firing off like two shots into the swarm, while Ben kinda holds up his shield half-heartedly debating if it's worth it (it's not), and the reader and Hughie are already in the car with all the windows rolled up just watching it unfold. Even funnier would be her not letting Butcher or Ben into the car because she doesn't want any of the locusts to get in and she's shooing the two of them away. 😂

OH MY GOODNESS YESSSS EXACTYL!! I CANNOT UN-PICTURE THAT NOW 🤣

// And Butcher would probably yell something like "Listen poppet, if you don't open the fuckin' car right now -" Ben steps in, pushes Billy aside and just wrenches the damn car door open. Butcher rolls his eyes and throws his hands in the air, "Well that's just brilliant now, innit? You daft cunt, you just blasted our only safe spot!" gesturing to the black vortex of locusts now forming inside the car and her and Hughie scramble out of it in a high pitched screaming panic. And that sneaky bastard Ben would just laugh and then wink at her, "Hey, I just wanted the two princesses to join the fun." //

PLEASE. CAN WE HAVE A FLASHBACK SCENE. I'LL BRIBE YOU WITH POTATOES 🥔

And don't worry hun, take your time! Whenever you'll continue this as a series, I can't wait to read the next chapter 🥰

Promise Not To Fall In Love With Me

Pairing: Soldier Boy x f!reader and a little bit of Billy Butcher x f!reader

Prompt: "I find him very attractive." /"I'm standing right here"/ "I know."

Requested by: @angrydragon90

Tropes: Fake Dating, Pining.

Summary: When you first joined Butcher's team the last thing you expected was to develop a crush on him, but after two years of pining, you get a proposition from the last person you'd expect to care.

Word Count: 5K

Warnings: I'm gonna label this 18+ just in case (I don't really think it is). Some cursing, Sexual innuendo, References to sex, Over glorification of a man's shirtless body (I'm not complaining) Reader is a little anxious/anxiety/socially awkward? Drug use/Drinking (Soldier Boy), Soldier Boy being Soldier Boy (He's a warning, we all know it and somehow still love him for it).

Note: This is told from Reader's perspective. Any references to the reader is made using you or your. I tried my best to proofread, but nobody's perfect. If you don’t like, don’t read, but if you do like, you’re my favorite!

Internal monologue is in italics and is in first person.

Main Masterlist

Dean Winchester Masterlist

Prompt Celebration Masterlist

A/N: This is the third fic for my prompt celebration! This one was requested the incredible @angrydragon90 💗 Had to do something with a little bit of Valentine's Day spirit, but I'm going to be honest, this one turned into something that I didn't expect... let me know what y'all think. I also was thinking about @zepskies fic As Tradition Dictates for the more *ahem* gratuitous descriptions of Butcher 😉

Butcher’s muscles rippled over his bare chest and broad shoulders with every swing of the mighty axe down to the earth. Each strike of the axe against wood sent chips of bark flickering in the air around him like sparks. Sweat rolled down his sun kissed skin curving in the dips of his muscular torso, along the tensing muscles of his back, and through the dusting of hair on his torso, before disappearing into the waistband of the dark jeans hung low on his hips.

Heat kisses your cheeks and darkens the skin the longer you watch him and you bite your lip hard to keep the appreciative sigh of the scene in front of you at bay. But it does little to stop your eyes which rove over the rugged man chopping wood.

No man his age should look that good.

Butcher props one of his feet up on the tree stump he’s been using as a table oblivious to your attention, shouldering the axe for a moment to glance at the stack of firewood he’d chopped, looking like a mighty warrior surveying his lands.

Your mind starts to slip into a fantasy of a shirtless Butcher riding horseback across a desolate plain, his dark hair long, and a sword strapped to his saddle commanding a group of riders behind him to his every whim. Before scooping you up onto his saddle to ride with him, his strong arm wrapped around your waist, and his face buried in the soft skin of your neck, his rough whisper in your ear a grating caress as he-

You clear your throat, cheeks darkening crimson, and take in a shaky breath to dissipate the daydream that usually starred in several of your fantasies. The same ones that probably came from the romantasy book that you’d brought along on this trip and were too embarrassed to read when anyone else was awake.

He raises a hand to wipe the sweat from his brow, shuffling it back through his hair that turns a chestnut brown in the light of the setting sun that flickered through the thick forest surrounding the small cabin you were all staying in.

Oh to be a drop of sweat.

You think mournfully, taking a long sip of your lemonade out of a brightly colored bendy straw, the same lemonade that you’d made in hopes of enticing Butcher over for a break.

It had worked, but only for twenty seconds.

Twenty glorious seconds that you got to bask in Butcher’s presence so close that you could smell the familiar cologne and the scent of sweat clinging to his skin while he drank the lemonade and you tried not to stare at his bare chest for too long. You hoped that Butcher thought the flush on your cheeks had everything to do with the heat and nothing to do with all the things you were imagining him doing to you.

And then there had been an additional two seconds when Butcher smiled at you and said “Thanks poppet” in the swoon worthy accent of his that made your knees weak before he sauntered back over to the woodpile and you watched him go shamelessly.

Hughie says something to Butcher you can’t hear, but it makes Butcher laugh. He throws his head back with a wide grin that makes you sigh to yourself again, hands tensing where they sit poised over the tangle of wires in your lap.

You were supposed to be working on a new gadget to help grapple up buildings, one that you and Frenchie had designed together, but you were distracted by Butcher.

You were always distracted by him.

It had been three days since Butcher, Soldier Boy, Hughie, and you arrived at the cabin in the middle of nowhere after a mission went wrong. The specifics weren’t important, let’s just say that there was a miscommunication and what the four of you thought was a supe who could turn into a single locust, was actually able to turn into a swarm of locust so thick you couldn’t see an inch in front of your face.

You had a sneaking suspicion that MM and Frenchie had something to do with the miscommunication, given how eager they had been to stay behind at headquarters and do paperwork, and the secretive smiles they had shared at the briefing before your team left.

But needless to say, none of you had been eager to live through a reenactment of the eighth plague and all decided to lay low to consider your options, while hoping the locust supe didn’t decimate all of the corn in the midwest.

You shudder remembering the crawl of the scratchy legs along your skin, the flapping of millions of wings like the beat of a drum, the crunch of locusts underfoot, and the low pitched hum of the swarm that vibrated so loud it made you feel your body shaking from the inside out.

At this point I would have taken a swarm of guinea pigs.

The cabin wasn’t the worst place you’d stayed at in all the time you’d worked with Butcher. There was running water and several rooms inside including two bedrooms with lumpy pillows and mattresses with creaking springs, a living room with a sagging floral couch, and a threadbare kitchen with dusty cabinets and doors that fell off whenever someone tried to open one.

Outside the cabin there was a small patch of wildflowers that fluttered in the strong wind that blew from the East, an overgrown garden where tomato plants, potatoes, and herbs grew without care, and a small front yard that was more of a grassy clearing.

Sure the cabin had it’s quirks, but the real problem was that the four of you were trapped here in the middle of summer with a generator that only did so much for electricity, but had no air conditioning whatsoever, which meant it was cooler to sit outside on the porch than inside the sweltering cabin.

Overall, it had been three days of nothing, but listening to Soldier Boy bitch about the lack of extracurricular activities, three days of nothing but hearing the soft chuckle under Hughie’s breath when he texted Annie, and three days of nothing but you lusting after a man who was twice your age chopping wood.

Why was he chopping wood when it was so hot and none of you needed it… You had no idea, but you figured that the universe was finally throwing you a bone because you got to watch him do it.

The porch was cooler than sitting inside. There were two creaky rocking chairs that faced the overgrown “front yard” that was more of a clearing and the breeze did weave under the overhang of the roof to wick the sweat that gathered at the back of your neck, but the problem was, it was impossible for you to feel anything but warm, especially with what was unfolding in front of you.

The weather isn’t the only thing heating up.

You think to yourself watching Butcher lean down to pick up another piece of wood, admiring the way his worn dark jeans cup his muscular ass.

Fuck, I’m just as bad as Soldier Boy.

The truth was, you’d been crushing on Butcher for the better part of two years since the moment the two of you met on your first day when you’d tripped and dropped the giant pile of blueprints you were carrying to your desk and he was the only one who stopped to help you pick them up.

After Homelander had been stripped of his powers and exposed for the narcissistic psychotic freak he was, you’d started working at Supe Affairs, thinking that it was the perfect way for you to make a difference in a world reeling from the revelation. It had shaken quite a few people to know that the so-called heroes they looked up to were in fact just as crooked as a line drawn by an elephant on a tricycle.

But you liked your job… sometimes.

Sure, the pay sucked, the benefits were dismal and the hours were long, but you didn’t care about any of that. You felt like you were making a difference, using the engineering degree that your dad had insisted on for something other than trying to figure out how to build a bridge that withstood the force of a punch from someone as strong as Homelander.

And you hadn’t meant to develop a crush on William Butcher of all people, you swore that each day to yourself, but it happened without warning. He was nice to you, he always had your back on missions, and sometimes when you were working on something after hours on a mission- like the gadget in your lap- Butcher would sit with you while everyone else slept, nursing a glass of whatever it was he had, and he always made you feel like a valued member of the team.

Yes, he might be a little rough around the edges, but you liked that about him, that he didn’t pull punches, rather he told it like it was. It was refreshing in the world you lived in when everyone else was so afraid of offending someone that they just kept their mouths shut.

But the problem was that you were younger than him and a little inexperienced.

Well… a lot inexperienced. You’d never been in a relationship before, never really done anything before because there wasn’t time when you were in school getting your degree, not to mention you had spent the last two years imagining yourself in a relationship with a man who didn’t know you existed.

That might be a little harsh, he knew you existed, obviously, but rather he didn’t see you as anything more than a teammate or at least like a little sister. The nicknames that he called you were all some form of “kiddo” or “poppet.” Nothing like the things you’d read about men calling the women they loved in books or heard in movies.

The most experience you had in the realm of love and relationships was binge watching Sex and The City (you could quote it by heart), flipping through Cosmopolitan Magazine and other articles about love on the internet like they were opioids, and reading through romance novels reverently as if they held the secrets of the universe.

Not to mention the draft of the romance novel on your computer… but you’d go to the grave before anyone ever saw that, and if they did see it you’d take them with you.

Reading about relationships was easier than having one, at least that was what you told yourself to feel better. It also didn’t help that you’d seen two out of three sisters married with kids, with the third one getting married in a few weeks and you without even a shadow of a date for the wedding.

That meant you would be stuck at the awkward reject table again with your weird fourth cousin who always came on to you and tried to show you the rooster tattoo he had on his hip bone, your dad’s brother who cleaned his dentures in public after he ate and his wife who always asked you what you were “doing” with your life and curled her lip up in distaste no matter what you said, and the gaggle of their ungrateful children who were always sticky for some reason and chewed with their mouths open while spilling food all over the table like cavemen.

Sitting there with them made facing the locust supe more appealing.

But even with the pressure of trying to find someone, anyone to take, you couldn’t muster up the courage to tell Butcher how you felt about him.

Butcher glances over as if he can sense you and you immediately drop your eyes to the bundle of gears and wires in your lap pretending to fiddle with something that doesn’t need to be fixed.

Yes, because that’s the way I’m going to win him over, by making absolutely no eye contact. Perfect, masterful. What can go wrong?

What the books, magazines, tv shows, and movies didn’t prepare you for was how to find the courage to talk to someone of the opposite sex without feeling like your tongue was going to drop out of your mouth or like you were going to throw up.

You wait a few beats until you’re sure that he’s no longer looking at you before you raise your head to watch Butcher again.

Ben chuckles under his breath where he sits beside you in the other rocking chair, leaning back with one of his hands behind his head. His muscles tense in the black t-shirt as he adjusts his arm.

“What?” You ask him.

He exhales a long and obnoxious cloud of foul smelling smoke from the joint he has in his hand. “I think you’re a hypocrite.”

“And why is that?”

“Because you’re out here eye-fucking that asshole and you yell at me for staring at you.” He chuckles with a wide smirk as he takes another hit from the blunt.

How can he smoke that? It’s like 100 degrees out here!

“I am not!” You reply as loudly as you dare, glancing over to Butcher to make sure that he didn’t hear Ben’s comment, anxiety prickling along the back of your neck, but he’s still talking to Hughie about something. “And you don’t just stare at me! You come up behind me like some gremlin out of hell, with your big hands and-”

“We both know how much you like the attention doll.”

“I do not!” Your cheeks flare bright red.

The only downside to working on Butcher’s team was sitting directly next to you. When you found out that you’d be working with Soldier Boy, one of your dad’s favorite heroes, you were excited to meet him, and then you had and he turned into another giant disappointment. He was loud, brash, short-tempered, rude, and was always either ogling you, coming on to you, smoking something, or drinking.

You supposed it could be worse. You didn’t hate him, and you got along with him, but he was always around. The plus side was that Ben was the one of the only people you didn’t have a hard time talking to.

Yes, he was attractive, but his particular lifestyle didn’t appeal to you and for that reason whatever nerves you had about talking to attractive men of the opposite sex evaporated when it came to Ben.

It was unfortunate that such a skill was wasted on him of all people.

“I just-” You hesitate, eyes dropping back down to the grappling device in your lap, not sure why you’re about to admit this to Soldier Boy when you haven’t been able to admit it to anyone else.

Probably because I’m sick of singing the line from Frozen “conceal don’t feel” over and over in my head.

“I find him extremely attractive.” You mumble on a shaky breath.

“I’m sitting right here.” The frown in Ben’s voice is prominent, but it only makes you roll your eyes at him.

“I know.” Your eyebrows furrow together. “What does that have to do with anything?”

“Why are you looking at him when you could have my full attention.” He leans forward, dark hair falling forward into his eyes, mouth pulling up in a confident smirk. "I mean there's nothing else to fucking do, might as well do me."

Your cheeks flush with his words, but you tilt your head to the side to study him, eyes slipping over his rugged features. Tracing over the neatly trimmed beard on his cheeks, the brilliant green eyes that seemed to glow, the way his muscular body filled out his black t-shirt and blue jeans, the soft dusting of freckles that contrasted the hardness of the man he was flecked over his skin, and his full lips that are curved up in a sinful smirk that would make even the strongest woman crumble.

But not you. Ben was… Ben. He was brash, obnoxious, handsy, impatient, and disrespectful.

At least, that’s what you thought.

Sure you didn’t work with him often, but you believed you had a pretty good grasp on the kind of person he was. You did, right?

“You’re not my type Benny.” Your eyes flick back to the project in your lap, moving your fingers deftly through the wires of the internal mechanism.

Ben recoils at the use of his nickname, but he recovers with a low chuckle. “Don’t call me that and I’m everybody's type.”

“Not mine. I don’t like supes.”

You weren’t sure if that was 100% true. You liked Kimiko. What you meant to say was that you didn’t like supes like him. Supes that used his powers without care for the consequences, Supes like Homelander who didn’t give a shit who got hurt as long as the job was done.

And you weren’t a supe, which meant that if you were with a supe there was always the possibility of you dying during sex or dying before you had sex in the first place. Your job also presented the possibility of you dying before you’d had sex, but you weren’t going to let that hold you back.

“But Butcher has-” Ben begins to say.

“Temporary powers. Not all the time.” You correct, unable to stop your eyes from drifting back over to where Butcher has begun to start swinging the axe again. “And look at him. Fuck, he’s over there like Paul Bunyan, rugged, chopping wood-” You sigh continuing to watch the man who probably has no idea you exist.

Ben rolls his eyes. “I could do that.”

You don’t pay Ben any attention, because Butcher is bending over again and you bite the inside of your cheek hard.

Ben sits there for another few beats watching you watch Butcher. The wind chimes that hang above your heads jingle merrily as the breeze picks up once more bringing the smell of the wild flowers and wet earth from the forest surrounding the cabin.

“You know I could help you.” Ben says slowly.

Your eyes flick back to Ben from Butcher in confusion. “Help me?”

What is he talking about? Does he think he can figure out how to fix the grapple gun? The other day he couldn’t figure out how to open the automatic trunk of a car and he just ripped the trunk door right off.

“Get him.” Ben nods his head in Butcher’s direction, but you’re still confused.

“How?”

And why? Why does Soldier Boy want to help me of all people?

“Well, I could help you make him jealous.” Ben leans towards you, his eyes sweeping once over you as he does, lingering too long on your chest and the edge of the jean shorts you were wearing.

“And how would you do that?”

“Well for starters you could come sit on my lap baby, see how you like it.” Ben winks. “Take me for a little ride.”

“Pass.” You roll your eyes.

“Oh I see you want to have a more advanced lesson.” He smiles, scooting his chair towards yours, a dull scrape of wood on wood, so now his knee is touching yours. “He could catch an earful of us tonight. I’d be happy to fuck you. It’d give me something to do.” Ben takes another hit of his joint, the smoke making you scrunch your nose in distaste, while he gives you an appreciative once over. “Fuck knows the only entertainment I’ve had for three fucking days is my hand and it would be good to have a nice tight-“

“No thanks.” You interrupt, face flushing when you imagine what he was about to say.

Ben stiffens in surprise. “What?”

“I’m good.” You shrug. “I’m gonna get him the old fashioned way.”

The same old fashioned way that I’ve been using for the past two years and had absolutely no results.

“And what way is that? Pining after him and hoping that one day he’ll finally notice you?” Ben scoffs. “I can see how well that’s working for you doll-face. How long have you been working with him?”

“Two years-”

“Fuck, two years?” Ben sputters. “You should just tell him that you want him to fuck you.”

“That won’t work.”

Ben’s face scrunches in confusion, the joint clasped in between his thumb and forefinger forgotten. “Why the hell not?”

“Because-” You glance down at your hands, thumb running along the jagged edge of the grappling hook slightly embarrassed. The last thing you wanted to tell Soldier Boy was that you were a virgin. The guy would mock you endlessly. “Because I’m younger than him and he’s-”

He’s experienced.

“So? You think that he hasn’t thought about fucking you?” Ben takes a long sip from the whiskey sitting beside his chair. “He’d be lucky to have a little piece like you.”

You blink in surprise. It was the closest to a compliment that Ben had ever given you. He did tend to compliment your figure whenever you were around, but you usually ignored that because he did that to everyone.

Truthfully, the thought of dating Ben didn’t appeal to you at all, but the thought of using him to make Butcher jealous was not a terrible one. And at this point, you didn’t have anything to lose.

Well… except THAT, but you wanted it to be special, at least that’s what you’d always told yourself.

You sigh, a little frustrated, watching Butcher out of the corner of your eye swing the axe in a glorious arch to the earth. You weren’t sure how to get Butcher’s attention. You’d tried the usual things…

Leaving the room as soon as he walked in to avoid a conversation.

Gone completely mute when he asked you a question.

Pretended you didn’t see him whenever he walked into a room.

Tried to bring him coffee, but then chickened out and drank his and yours and then immediately had to go to the bathroom to avoid shitting your pants while having heart palpitations.

Basically the social anxiety was working wonders on the office romance you wanted so badly.

“Ben?” You say tentatively, hands tightening on the contraption in your lap. At this rate you were never going to fix it and Butcher was going to have to figure out how to fly.

“Yes, gorgeous?” Ben raises an eyebrow. The blunt is between his lips now and he’s looking at you curiously.

“If we did pretend to be…” You swallow nervously.

“Fucking?” He leans forward eagerly, eyes twinkling with interest.

Well… I’ve never understood what it meant when someone wrote “his eyes darkened” until this very moment.

“Dating” You correct holding up a finger.

Does his mind always go to the gutter?

You remember everything you think you know about Ben.

Yes. Yes it does.

Ben leans back with a frown. “I don’t date.”

“Well it wouldn’t be real! You’d just be helping me make him jealous and it would be nice to have a little practice maybe…”

“Practice?” He looks confused. It wasn’t the first time he had in this conversation or within the last five minutes, but like hell you were about to admit without at least one drink to Soldier Boy the extent of your dating life.

“Yeah. I’m not the best at talking to people or-”

“You’re talking just fine right now.”

“You’re different.”

“Why is that?”

“Because you annoy me and I don’t know you’re easier to talk to for some reason!”

“Thanks.” Ben says dryly.

By now all the anxious energy has begun to pop and crackle against your skin at the thought of what the two of you could be doing and at the thought of you two actually pulling this off and you having a shot with Butcher. Not just a shot in hell, a real shot.

“But if you’re serious about helping me get him-“ You continue.

“I was.”

It was odd that he was the one who had suggested this in the first place, and even weirder that he didn’t seem hesitant at all to be doing this.

Maybe he thinks that we’re going to have sex. Your throat tightened at the thought, eyes widening, your nerve endings electrifying with anxiety. Oh holy fuck what if he thinks that if we do this he’ll get to do whatever he wants to me?

You clear your throat, heart beating just a little bit harder in your chest. The entire situation was making you regret the extra cup of coffee you had this morning. “What exactly would I have to do?” You don’t recognize your voice. It comes out a little more wobbly and just a little more tentative than it was.

You didn’t know what Ben was expecting you to do and you didn’t want to say yes, only for him to force you into sleeping with him like he’d suggested earlier, the most you'd thought the two of you would do is just make out a little-

Oh holy fuck then we’d have to kiss and I don’t know if I’m a good kisser and he’s definitely kissed more than one person not to mention he’s-

The thought made you flush to the roots of your hair.

Ben hesitates, eyeing you and you wonder if he can hear the deranged monologue inside your head or if he can hear just how hard your heart was beating. You hoped not.

“You wouldn’t have to do anything, doll. I’m not going to force you to do anything that makes you uncomfortable.” There’s something genuine in his eyes when he answers your question, something that you’d never noticed before.

Your mouth drops open in surprise.

It wasn’t that you believed that Ben was that kind of man, but rather that what he just said to you might have been the most caring thing that he’d ever uttered in front of you. He was the last person that you’d expect to care about someone being uncomfortable or care if someone else was okay with everything that was happening in the bedroom.

Maybe I don’t know him as well as I think I do.

In all honesty you only knew the way Ben acted, you didn’t know anything about his life. The man kept his cards closer to his chest than a well-seasoned card player and his poker face, forget it. You couldn’t crack that combination even if you wanted to.

Everything else you'd heard about him was through the grapevine of gossip at work. None of it was first hand.

Ben sighs and shakes his head at you as if he’s a little annoyed with himself for saying that out loud. “But I still think it would be easier if you just told him that you wanted him to fuck you. Would’ve worked on me.”

“I’m not good at that sort of thing.”

And it was true. You could take down a target, diffuse a bomb in less than ten seconds with a thin mint and a bobby pin, but saying something out loud like that to something else made you feel nauseous.

Ben hesitates again and in his hesitation the anxiety and embarrassment starts to come soaring back into your chest.

You were asking Soldier Boy, Soldier Boy, to pretend to date you so Billy Butcher would fall in love with you.

Well kids, this must be what rock bottom feels like. I might as well just pray that the locusts come back to take me away.

“Fine.” Ben states.

“Really?” Your eyes widen.

He shrugs, but doesn’t answer.

“We’d have to have rules.” You blurt, and Ben makes a face.

“Rules? Never been too good with those, Sweetheart.”

“And I’d need you to promise that you wouldn’t-”

You lose your train of thought in the wind chimes that rattle over your head and the sound of Butcher’s laugh.

“Wouldn’t?” He arches an eyebrow.

“Lose control.”

Honestly, sometimes you were a little afraid of Ben. You’d never say that out loud or admit it, but he was stronger than Homelander.

You knew Ben's reputation around the office- heard the hushed whispers of the women in the break room who said he was the best fuck of their lives, heard the horror stories of what he did to his old team, and had seen first hand what his temper was like. You also knew about his powers and worried that Ben might have a little bit of a control problem or at the very least anger management issues.

“I’m not going to fucking hurt you if that’s what you think.” Ben growls, his eyes narrowing at your insinuation. “I’m not some fucking monster, doll.”

“I don’t think you’re a monster Ben.” You sigh. “I just- I don’t have powers and you’re kinda strong and I-.” You take a deep breath to steady your voice. “I don’t think that you’d hurt me on purpose. But-”

Ben’s hand comes out to touch your chin, tilting your gaze up to him and stopping the bicycle of babbling you were about to ride around the block. Your eyes widen slightly with the contact, you weren’t used to people touching you, certainly not like this.

Keep it together…

“I wouldn’t hurt you by accident either.” Ben’s green eyes are focused on yours, and you can see just a sliver of emotion behind them that you can’t identify. “But if we’re going to do this you gotta promise me one thing.”

“What?” Your voice comes out like a squeak.

“You’ve got to promise not to fall in love with me.” He sends you a saucy wink that makes you want to punch the strongest man on earth, instead you settle for pushing him back from you.

But you’re not prepared for the wave of disappointment you feel when he lets go of your chin.

“I’m not in any danger of that Benny. You’re not half as smooth as you think you are.” You start to lean back in your chair, but Ben reaches out to grab your wrist, his touch surprisingly gentle, the contact burning through your body, as he pulls you forward, so close you can smell his cologne. Somehow it's something that smells classic and modern at the same time, a hint of spice that tickles your nose and makes your throat tight.

His voice lowers into a purr that vibrates through his chest, his next words expelled on a warm breath that weaves through the air between the two of you.

“Sweetheart, you’re about to find out just how smooth I am.”

What have I gotten myself into?

A/N: Again, not what I was expecting, but I really love this one y'all and I probably laughed way too hard at bits when I was writing it.

Thank you so much for reading! Likes, Reblogs, and Comments are not required, but are always appreciated! I love hearing what y'all think! 😊 If you'd liked to be added to my taglist please let me know!

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@roseblue373 @livya99 @mrsjenniferwinchester @zepskies @waynes-multiverse

@jollyhunter

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slut4megantheestallion · 2 days ago

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LISTEN TO ME, I HAVE A REQUEST THAT HAS BEEN IN MY HEAD FOR A LONG TIME! Arcane women x reader who is part of the du Couteau and Medarda families. Personally, I would like it to be a Medarda by his mother and a du Couteau by his father. It's okay if you don't want to do it that way. As part of two very prestigious families, the reader has a mansion that is TOO gigantic and, of course, elegant. Basically, my request is this: the reader shows his partner his large mansion for the first time. PD 1: For obvious reasons, if the reader has Medarda blood, Mel cannot be introduced here, it would be incest, basically. PD 2: My instinct yells at me that, if you left her, Jinx would do graffiti with her symbol, or put something characteristic of her all over your house. And even sometimes writing: JINX WAZ HERE. Idk, it's just an idea I had.

Arcane Women x Du Conteau- Medarda! Reader- Showing them Your Gigantic Mansion

Warnings ⚠️: reader is rich, Jinx being Jinx, Reader is part of the Du Couteau and Medarda families, fluff.

Characters: Vi, Jinx, caitlyn, sevika.

Summary: The reader shows the arcane woman her mansion/home.

-Vi

●"Damn.. You livin' like this?" Vi is absolutely floored the moment she steps onto your estate. The sheer size, the towering gates, the intricate architecture - everything screams wealth and power. She whistles, stuffing her hands into her pockets as she glances around. "I knew you were loaded, but this is like the next level." She pretends to act casual, but deep down, she feels a little out of place.

●She grew up in the Undercity, in tiny apartments and makeshift homes - this? This is something out of a dream. She can't help but admire how effortlessly you walk through the halls like you own the world. At some point, she plops down on a ridiculously plush couch and just smirks at you. "I might never leave, y'know."

-Caitlyn

●"This is... exquisite." Unlike Vi, Caitlyn doest gawk - she's from a wealthy Piltover family herself, but even her estate doesn't compare to this level of grandeur. She admires the craftsmanship, refined decor, and the regal atmosphere that surrounds everything. "Your family truly spares no expense," she murmurs, trailing her fingers along the polished wood of the staircase railing.

●She asks about the history behind some of the paintings and antiques, genuinely fascinated by how your lineage connects to both Noxus and Piltover. She's the perfect guess - never touching anything without permission, always polite. That is until she sees Jinx's graffiti defiling one of the pristine walls. Her eye twitches. "She's been here? hasn't she?"

-Jinx

●"Hahaha! Look at all this fancy crap!" Jinx is way too entertained by your massive mansion. The moment she steps in, she's everywhere - running through the hallways, sliding down banisters, jumping on expensive furniture. "How the hell do you not get lost in this place?!" And, of course, she leaves her mark. She pulls out a can of spray paint and, without hesitation, starts tagging walls with neon blue graffiti. 'JINX WAZ HERE.' There's even a doodle of her face sticking its tongue out.

● No surface is safe. Chandeliers? She'll hang from them, Priceless statues? Might add a mustache. Your family's giant portrait? Yeah, she just drew a monocle and devil horns on your dad. You knew this would happen, but she's having way too much fun for you to stop her.

-Sevika

●"Tch. Fancy." Sevika is hard to impress, but even she raises an eyebrow as she steps inside your enormous mansion. She's used to the gritty, industrial atmosphere of Zau - dull metal, rusted pipes, dim lights. This? This is luxury on a whole different level. She takes a slow drag from her cigar, glancing around the towering ceilings and polished marble floors. "Damn. You weren't kidding when you said you had money."

●She strolls through the halls at a lazy pace, her heavy boots making a stark contrast against the pristine, polished floors. She's not the type to marvel at wealth, but she does appreciate good craftsmanship. Running a hand along the intricate banisters, she scoffs. "Bet this place could fit half of Zaun in it." There's a slight edge to her voice- part amusement, part resentment.

● She's seen too many people struggle while rich live like this, but... you? You're different. She can tolerate it because it's you. Eventually, she makes herself at home in the grand living room, sprawling across one of the ridiculously expensive couches like she owns the place. "You got any whisky in this oversized palace of yours?" And, of course, she notices Jinx's graffiti the moment she glances at the walls. Her eye twitches. "That little menace was here, wasn't she?" She exhales a slow breath, rubbing her temple. "I swear, I leave her alone for one damn second..." Sevika's tempted to go hunting jinx down for ruining the mansion's aesthetic, but part of her smirks. Figures.

●She leans back, exhaling smoke as she looks at you. "Guess you're stuck with me coming over more often. Someone's gotta make sure your mansion doesn't turn into Jinx's personal canvas."

#arcane women #sevika x reader #jinx league of legends #jinx x reader #vi x reader #caitlyn kirraman x reader #arcane x reader

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cherryblossompink303 · 2 days ago

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Patience: ~Operation Double date!~

➼ pairing: Kyoya Ootori x Reader ➼ summary: Hikaru and Kyoya get tricked into taking the host club girls on a double date. ➼ what to expect: "Fine. Don't tell me if you like, I could probably help you but if you want to go rogue now be my guest, run back to that boy" ➼ warnings: Angst ➼ Part Fourteen | Part Sixteen A/n: Happy valentines day <3

"Haruhi fujioka?"

"Hey arai"

Luckily for you tamaki and the twins quickly got caught up in whoever this boy is that knows Haruhi to even care about the boy who had come to see you moments before.

The same cannot be said however for Kyoya, who quickly replaced sam across the table from you, Mori and Honey stood nearby. "Who was that?" Kyoya was strangely intense in the way he asked the question.

"Who? Sam? he's just an old friend, like i told you"

The twins slide over, hikaru clearly not wanting to look at Haruhi and Arai anymore "An old friend who is a boy? and gave you a gift no where near your birthday? what is it anyway" Kaoru reaches out to the box but you clamber to take hold of it "No! No...I um...It's an old family heirloom...quite personal to me"

Hikaru raises an eyebrow "Why would he have an old family heirloom of yours? Why would it even be in Japan if you didn't bring it?" you nervously laugh at the question.

"Yeah well...It's a long story...really...long and boring... you don't want to hear"

"Y/n-chan was that guy your boyfriend?"

Your jaw drops "What?"

"That's what I would like to know as well" Kyoya chimes in "Huh?" your face falls at Kyoya's comment. You still cannot figure out exactly how you feel about him but you hated to hear the way he said it.

"You see if that boy was your boyfriend, I would need to know, it would be incredibly risky if my father found out, or if yours did for that matter" Oh...yeah...the arrangement...for a split second you thought that Kyoya was jealous. Did you want him to be? why are you even thinking about that?

"No! Sam's not my boyfriend, he was just doing a favour for me that's all now is anyone going to do something about Tamaki in the corner"

You all look over to Tamaki, who was hunched over in the corner tearing up paper.

"Hey! Quit making more garbage I'll have to take out" Haruhi cries

"It's not garbage I'm making a hamster home" Haruhi sighs "But Senpai you don't have a hamster"

"I'm not your senpai, I'm just an acquaintance of yours"

"Wow you ouran guys are funny, it's such a prestigious school, I've always imagined it was a whole different world"

The boys get caught up in Arai's words and the conversation. All except for Kyoya who leans over to rest his forearms against the table. "Okay, he may not be your boyfriend but you are still hiding something"

"So?"

"So whatever it is you don't want to tell me which concerns me"

"Kyoya I don't ask you to divulge all your plans, you're always up to something"

"I would tell you if you asked, I am asking but you still won't tell me"

"Why do you care?"

the two of you lock into a staring battle, both not wanting to confess anything first.

"Fine. Don't tell me if you like, I could probably help you but if you want to go rogue now be my guest, run back to that boy" Kyoya, stands up, walking over to the main conversation and leaving you sat stunned at the table.

You walk slowly back up to your room, after some yelling the twins run past you, Kaoru chasing after Hikaru, you make it a point to check in on that later.

♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡

About an hour later you get a knock on the door of the room you're in. "Y/n?" Kaoru pokes his head through the door, sending you a nervous smile. "Kaoru? What's up? is Hikaru okay?"

Kaoru sighs "Yeah, he's just still getting used to the idea of having...friends...can I come in?" you nod, he steps out from behind the door, coming to sit next to you on the bed. "I need to ask you a favour"

"Sure"

"I think that if Haruhi and Hikaru go on a date tomorrow it might help him come out his shell a bit, but I have a feeling that if the two of them go alone he might say something stupid so...I suppose what I am asking is if you mind going on a double date, you, me, hikaru, and Haruhi"

you ponder over it for a moment, it was a good idea, you knew that Hikaru was struggling with the changes to his social life. So if this is what he needs it can't hurt "Sure, I'll go"

"Thanks, Hikaru and Haruhi are going to go into town a bit early tomorrow so meet me out front at 11 and then we can meet up with them in town. Wear something cute"

You roll your eyes at the last comment, shooting him a smile as he steps out the room.

♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡

The next morning Kaoru approaches Kyoya, who is sat out on the patio, unkept in manner "Kyoya just the person I'm looking for, I have a favor to ask"

"What is it Kaoru?"

"You see me and hikaru are meant to take the girls out on a double date today...but I feel so ill...do you mind going in my place so that Hikaru doesn't mess things up?"

Kyoya raises an eyebrow at the request "You're asking me? Surely this is Tamaki's department"

"Tamaki would just make things worse and try to split up Hikaru and Haruhi, it needs to be you"

Kyoya sighs "Fine, if i must"

"Thank you! Y/n will be waiting out front at 11, show her a good time, i told her that she would have a fun day out in exchange for helping me"

♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡

"Kyoya?" you question as you are stood outside waiting for Kaoru. "Kaoru is ill, he's sent me instead to make sure Hikaru doesn't say something stupid"

"Oh... i see..."

"Let's get this over with then"

The two of your head into town eventually meeting up with Hikaru and Haruhi, the four of you sat on a bench. "So where do we want to go?"

"Well Kaoru said he planned everything so i didn't really give it much thought. Any ideas?"

"Well there's not anything that I need to do here... I know why don't we go to that outlet mall by the train station, they've got cheap clothes there"

"That's cool, do you need to buy clothes?"

"No, there's no way I'd buy my clothes at that place" You elbow hikaru at the answer. "Then lets skip it"

"Everything looks okay now, but misuzu said it might rain, i sure hope there aren't any thunderstorms" Haruhi notes, looking up at the sky, which looks clear and blue for the time being

"I didn't know you were so into the weather"

You roll your eyes, stuck between hikaru who was being arsey and Kyoya who didn't want to talk at all.

Soon an ice cream kart comes barrelling past.

"That was creepy, that old guy looked like Honey senpai" Hikaru says, noticing that Haruhi is now gone, you nod in front of you where Haruhi is at an ice cream stand "One please"

Hikaru stands up walking over, leaving you and Kyoya sat awkwardly on the bench together. "This date isn't going very well is it?"

"Just give it time, hikaru isn't used to being without kaoru he just needs to adjust"

Kyoya hummed in agreement.

The two of you let Haruhi and hikaru go ahead a little as the four of you wander through Karuizawa, occasionally stopping at the odd stall here and there.

Kyoya and you were relatively silent. Unaware that the host club are watching on from a distance. "Dammit why is hikaru now better at communicating than kyoya is!" Kaoru muttered.

You started to overthink in wake of the silence, you were here to make sure hikaru's date didn't go off the rails but then you also wasn't following your own advice.

maybe you needed to be honest.

"Are you going to say anything?" the question slips out before you even process the words. "What?"

"You've barely said a word to me all day"

"I thought it was obvious that you do not want to tell me anything so what's the point"

"What on earth is up with you?"

"I don't like you keeping secrets, if you're keeping it from me all I can think that it could possibly be is that you're plotting against my family" you stop it your tracks "Excuse me?"

"That's how business works sometimes...the y/n group has been growing exponentially recently, has your father sent you to do something to break up his deal with the ootori group?"

You're floored, you cannot believe that Kyoya could accuse you of something like that.

"Kyoya are you kidding me? Do you seriously think I would be that deceptive?"

Suddenly grey clouds cast over karuizawa. "It does look like it's going to rain though, think we should back?" Haruhi asks

"Then, let's hail a cab, ok?"

"Is that you fujioka?" Arai catches you off guard, seemingly appearing next to you. "Oh no"

"Hey arai, I didn't expect to see you out here"

"Well this is my uncle's store, you guys out doing some shopping?"

"We were but now we're about to leave"

"Yeah? We've got a car that can take you back, just let me just ask my uncle"

"I don't want to be a bother"

"It's no problem, i wouldn't want you to get caught in the rain"

"Don't worry about it, we're getting a taxi" "Come on, don't waste your money on a taxi"

Thunder rumbling cuts him off, haruhi gasps. "Hey, why don't we accept his offer? The sooner we get home the better"

"Well, i guess you'll be riding home alone then" you sigh, perhaps this was too much too soon for hikaru "But, hikaru..."

"Just do whatever you want, okay? You guys can catch up and reminisce but leave me out of it!" Hikaru runs off "Wait!"

"What's his problem?" Arai asks. Haruhi runs after Hikaru "Haruhi!" You call after her, sighing in frustration as she disappears.

"We should call a car"

"I'll make my own way home, I wouldn't want you to think that I'm somehow sabotaging the ootori group by being in one of their cars"

Kyoya huffs "y/n-"

You roll your eyes "God forbid I want to keep something to myself" you mutter, walking off in the direction of the other two.

♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡

Thunder cracked outside after finding your way back to your room, not bothering to turn the lights on as you sit down on the floor, leaning back against the wall, sighing, a tear sliding down your cheek.

The sight of the red gift wrapping catches your eye from the bed, reaching up to grab the box, you wipe your tears as you open it. As expected inside laid a USB stick and a pile of printed photos, you sigh as you place the box on the floor next to you. Shaking your head.

A controlled knock against the door causes you to wipe your tears, the door cracks open, Kyoya's head sticking in, searching around the room before finding you on the floor.

He doesn't say anything before walking in, sitting on the floor next to you.

"I'm sorry" his voice is quiet. "I don't know why I accused you of that...I suppose I don't like when there is something that I don't know, I shouldn't have taken it out on you"

You pause, thinking over his words.

"I'm trying to escape my family" your voice is weak when you eventually speak.

"Huh?"

"I came to Karuizawa to avoid going home for the summer break...but it's not just that..."

you reach for the box, shaky hands lifting it onto your lap. "Can you promise me that no matter what happens what I'm about to tell you it doesn't leave the room" Kyoya nods, raising an eyebrow at the sudden intensity.

"My father...is not a good man...he...he used to be...but I've had a feeling for a while that there's something up at the company...I just didn't have proof until now. Sam is the son of the CFO of the Asia branch"

"I see..."

"I'm sorry Kyoya...I didn't want to bring you into this...but that is why I need you...as soon as I no longer have to depend on him then...."

"Then?"

"...I'm planning on taking down the l/n group, from the inside"

you are praying that you had put your trust in the right place for once.

"Y/n did I mention that I am planning on buying my fathers company from under him?"

Your head snaps to look at him "What?"

"Mhm, all the money I have been saving, I am preparing to buy my fathers company"

You laugh through your tears "Really?"

"Yes...now if i had known that you were planning on doing something similar then this would have saved a lot of confusion"

"Well aren't we a match made in hell"

Kyoya smirked "Indeed"

your face falls "Kyoya theres something else I need to tell you"

"What is it?"

you reach to one of the photos, the one of both of your fathers in the headquarters of l/n group asia. "L/N group is covering up something for the ootori group...I don't know what it is but if sam is anything to go by its big"

Kyoya took the photo from you, gripping it as he stares at the two men.

"Well then... you better get me up to speed...we've got quite the work set out for us"

Next time on patience 'Kyoya's reluctant day out!'

Tag list (reply to be added): @skottch @cgmajor @rebirthbunbun @bbybubbles @blueberry19000 @katgirl05 @smellslikelovinglies @veras-fanfic-reblogs @sadprimrose @mirtalikesdr @sleeplesssskeleton @ritzes28 @crackpeole @rory-cakes @renjunniex @II-kita-san-II @angelicwillows @missbrebre1012 @sleep-7372 @strawberrbitch @reticent-writer @eternal-dokja @meme848 @mistyhydrangeagarden

#kyoya ootori #kyoya ootori x reader #kyoya x reader #ohshc kyoya #ohshc #ohshc x reader #ouran high school host club #ouran host club #ouran highschool host club #ouran hshc #kaoru hitachiin #ouran #ouran kyoya #hikaru hitachiin #haruhi fujioka #tamaki suoh

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butt3rmilkbunny · 1 day ago

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My current thoughts that have been rattling around in my noggin about Papá Perpetua are so incoherent and I’m posting them here because I think my dad’s tired of listening to me ramble while he plays guitar lol, and I like posting my random thoughts lol.

They are as follows (in no particular order and in no way super detailed or well thought out, very jumbled and stream of consciousness lol):

- Obviously 7 is part of the imagery in all the promo stuff we’ve seen and is significant in some way. We are also technically in era 7 (Nihil, Primo, Secondo, Terzo, Copia, Papa IV, Frater/papa V makes 7). The number 7 can mean sacrifice, purification, consecration, forgiveness, and reward; though I’ve also seen it mean completeness. (I saw a post about the whole 7 imagery a few months back and cannot for the life of me find it now lol.)

So I could definitely see Papa V sticking around for a while.

- I’ve seen an interview clip where Tobias Forge has said he’s developed slight claustrophobia from the mask, and I’ve read that that type of mask makes it harder to sing, but I’ve also seen interviews where it’s said he wouldn’t go completely without the mask. I like to envision a half mask of some sort like the phantom of the opera!

Though I also do believe in the theory that Papá V is Copia’s twin (cause of seestor’s memories in RHRN) (also because who has the most employee of the month awards of Copia has the second most), so maybe we’ll still get a full head mask because they would logically have to look similar enough.

Also also, I’m curious, if Perpetua is indeed Copia’s twin, how Tobias will go about Copia knowing about his twin. Like, will it be a long lost brother situation, surely not if Perpetua’s already within the ministry; but who’s to say. I want more family soap opera!

Phantom of the opera Papá would be fun tho because I LOVE phantom of the opera dearly, and I feel like Ghost would do wonders with the theatrics POTO theming allows for. (Papa of the opera, if you will lol)

- I love that Seestor named her boys ‘abundance/plenty’ and ‘eternal/everlasting’.

On that note, Papa V’s name def makes me think this will be the Papa we have for quite some time. I’ve seen people say that this will be the last Papá we get unless Tobias’s kids take over (I saw so many people adamant that his kids would take over) so who knows. Only time will tell. I’m just excited to see the new lore and also the COSTUMES!

The Papa’s have been getting progressing more sparkly in the costumes so I’m expecting Papa V to have maximum sparkles. Bedazzled to the fullest. (I saw one tweet that was like ‘Tobias Forge is taking so long because he has to bedazzle all of the costumes’ lol)

- My dream for the ghoul costumes for some reason (which I will implement into my own reimagining of the ministry I work on for funsies) is for the costumes to have little bat wings on the back. Idk why I’m so obsessed with the idea but yeah lol. I’m so excited to see the ghoul costumes if they change for Papa V. - I've seen people think it's Terzo, and I've seen some really good points made as to why. A few included the fact that the silhouette in the doorway is the same, that Terzo's foot twitched n the morgue and that there are scratch marks on his coffin, there was something to do with a certain song that maybe hinted at Papa Perpetua débuting when Terzo was Papa, as well as some other ones. While I do enjoy this theory, I'm more of a Copia's Twin theory believer. (Though I did see someone one time theorize that Terzo is Copia's twin lol).

I also saw a theory on tiktok that I cannot find again that talked about how Copia and Perpetua switched when Copia became Papa. I liked the idea though I kind of struggled to grasp it when first reading it lol. The idea is cool though! - I also saw someone on Tiktok point out that all of the songs on the V IS COMING Loma Vista playlist, the first letters spell out SATANIZED. I assume it's the name of a new song, maybe whatever was teased in the fiasco chapter, or maybe the album name.

#the band ghost #ghost bc #papa v #papa v perpetua #ghost theory #bunny’s thoughts

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soyforramen · 10 months ago

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Apologies, my brain has latched onto a new fandom and just. Cannot process until I vomit this out. So buckle up babes, it's a long one. All apologies in advance.

Complete change of timelines where Madam Yu is the one to find Wei Wuxian, or rather her maids do. They're sent out to Yiling for like... cultivation things, night hunt, secret assassinations, or whatever. They find him very soon after his parents die, early enough that he's just barely on the streets for a few months. Jinzhu and Yinzhu hear about the death of a cultivator who trained under Baoshen Sanren and that her child was recently kicked out, such a shame, but who can feed any more mouths the winter after a bad harvest?

So Jinzhu slips out, finds the kid and they abscond back to Lotus Pier. As they show up they're like, wait out here kid, we've got work to do. And as he's waiting, Jiang Yanli comes up with tea for her mother and is like ??? And Wei Ying imprints on her the moment she gives him a few biscuits and tells him she makes him laugh. So when she goes into the room, Wei Ying follows her in and Jinzhu and Yinzhu are like.

Oh. Right. We found this kid and his mom is supposed to be that lady you really didn't like back in the day, what do you want us to do with him? And Madam Yu at first is like,

But then she sees how starry eyed he is over Jiang Yanli and Madame Yu has a light bulb moment of seeing him waiting for Jiang Yanli to tell him what to do and is like. Wait. And looks betwen Jinzhu and Yinzhu and is like. Wait.

She tells them she's going to adopt him and immediately goes and gets that done. When Jiang Fengmian finds out she tells him to go find his own orphan and just shuffles Wei Ying over to stay with Jinzhu and Yinzhu. (It's not like he's stopped her before, and it's not like he can now. Besides, she found him first. Don't you have a sect to run?)

So now Wei Wuxian is going to be raised alongside Jiang Yanli rather than Jiang Cheng. The twins start to train him and raise him, and eventually he tries calling Jinzhu Mom and Yinzhu Auntie in public and they're both like.

Don't call me that. We are not related. But inside they're all.

It doesn't help that he's quick to learn and sweet, and they're quick to praise him and correct him in an age appropriate way even though they're still really strict and seemingly cold to him. (Wei Wuxian had to get it from somewhere is all I'm saying.) But also they make sure he's fed and clothed and has proper training and an education.

It's constantly impressed upon him that Jiang Yanli is his sister and that he needs to protect her and she'll take care of him in return. Madam Yu especially does her best to make sure they bond, because if her daughter is to marry into Jinlintai, she's damn sure going to have more protection than just a coterie of maids and random Jiang disciples. Especially since it's becoming clear to everyone that there's something wrong with Jiang Yanli's overall health, and there's some chronic pain and fatigue that hits her every so often. So if she had someone who knew her best and could take care of her throughout her life...

Since Wei Wuxian is only five and Jiang Yanli is only a few years older than him it will be similar to how the Meishan Yu heirs are raised alongside their own bodyguards. (I have this image that the Meishan Yu Clan is like a snake, in that they move quietly and lurk in the shadows until they strike, which would also explain a lot as to why Madame Yu is called the Purple Spider.)

As he grows up, Wei Wuxian is still an absolute chaos demon, only this time the first time he tries pranking anyone and he's caught, the twins make him do twice the amount of training and subtly imply that the reason he's being punished is not the fact that he's being silly with harmless pranks, but the fact that he got caught at all.

So they train him in the Meishan Yu way, which is far more covert and focused on getting in quick and dealing with things, and in the Jiang swordplay, which is focused on speed and agility. Meaning he's good with a sword, much better than good, but he's not at the same level as he is in MDZS OG. But he's also got an extensive collection of daggers, stilettos, hidden talismans, and fighting dirty and shamelessly.

Jiang Cheng is jealous that Jiang Yanli now has another brother, and that Wei Ying is monopolizing Jiang Yanli, but both his father and his mother are focused on his training and education in becoming a sect leader, and Madam Yu isn't constantly comparing the two since they're not 'competing' against each other like she seemed to think in cannon. Instead when Jiang Cheng gets too frustrated about not figuring something out or is too hard on himself, Madam Yu throws Wei Wuxian at him to train with.

As they get a bit older, Wei Wuxian is like, but is jiejie learning all this? And Jinzhu has to tell him that no, she's got a small core, besides she has you. Wei Wuxian thinks that's stupid, and says so loudly, so he goes to teach her at least the basics so she can defend herself with hidden daggers, terrifying hair pins, and talismans at the very least.

It's at that point that they realize how adapt he is with talismans, so they make the decision to send both him and Jiang Yanli off to Meishan Yu for him to train with their masters. Jiang Yanli meanwhile is sent to her grandparents and aunts to learn more about political manipulation training, management of sects, trade, logistics, etc.

It's at this point that they get the invitation to Gusu, and Madam Yu insists both her kids go. Which also means Wei Wuxian, professional rule breaker, also goes along with them. During the day he's as perfect as Jinzhu and Yinzhu could ever dream, but he immediately breaks curfew the first night because a) Emperor's Smile, and b) jiejie's in pain again, and the medicines they were sent with weren't working right, and jiejie's dorm mate said that these herbs from Caiyi could help...

Anyways, Lan Wangji is totally able to win against Wei Wuxian in strength, and breaks one of his wine jars again, but since Wei Wuxian was always told to make sure to never get caught, at least this time he had a mask on. So technically Lan Wangji can't say for 100% certain who it was who broke curfew. (Discretion, always, might have been tattooed on his forehead by Yinzhu.)

But like. Lan Wangji is like. Bro. My man. Dude.

Thus beginning his utter fascination with Wei Wuxian because of course the Head of Discipline can't let any infraction go, cause denial (whomp whomp).

Wei Wuxian is thrilled to get such a response out of someone so poised and stoic, especially since he's never been able to do that with his mom or aunt or even Madam Yu. Jiang Yanli thinks it's absolutely hilarious, immediately pegging Wei Wuxian's interest as a crush, and when Wei Wuxian dismisses that, she has to be like

Sir. I know you. I helped raise you. This is a crush. So she's super encouraging that they spend time together, and shows her true colors as an instigator when it comes to her didi. But Wei Wuxian pushes back since they won't be there long enough to form any real long term attachments.

(Actual video of Wei Wuxian during this conversation)

Anyways, Gusu Arc is similar to last time, only Wei Wuxian isn't technically a student, but he does sit in on the classes and surpringly draws 0 attention to himself, making Lan Wangji's suspicion of him even more suspicious to Lan Xichen.

This time, Jin Zixuan isn't punched. Jiang Yanli gives him a cold bow and walks away, but that night Wei Wuxian definitely makes sure that Jin Zixuan knows that that wasn't cool, cause like. It's Jiang Yanli, she's the best why wouldn't you think that? Wtf sir, why would you say anything like that? And oops, look how sharp this dagger is, and oops my talisman slipped. Again.

Needless to say, the next day Jin Zixuan has a healthy respect for staying far away from Jiang Yanli or even thinking about her, and if he doesn't even look Wei Wuxian's way? Well, no surprise there.

MianMian is totally Wei Wuxian's BFF now, though, since she's never seen anyone be able to handle Jin Zixuan so well, and that includes his mother. Lan Wangji is, obviously, jealous, Jiang Yanli continues to instigate meetings between them, and the day of the Waterborne Abyss Wei Wuxian is finally like.

Oh. That's what Jiang Yanli meant about Lan Zhan. And Wei Wuxian is just like,

This leads to further shenanigans between Lan Wangji and Wei Wuxian to the point that even Lan Qiren is like. Lan Wangji, just ignore him. We have three weeks left, it's fine. But Lan Wangji is like, he gave me rabbits? But also broke 82 rules in less than 10 minutes? And also he's annoying? But why is he paying more attention to Luo Qingyang?

Anyways, they finally go home, Cloud Recess is attacked, and the Wens are like. Time for the worst summer camp ever! Jiang Yanli begs Wei Wuxian to go to the Wen Camp with Jiang Cheng to keep an eye on him. Wei Wuxian refuses until Jinzhu steps in and uses her mom voice, telling him in no uncertain terms he's going, and Jiang Yanli will be in Meishan, as far from the Wens as she can be right now.

Turtle Time! All of the disciples are essentially going:

the entire time they're there. The arc goes basically the same, only more Wangxian cuddling, teasing, and Wei Wuxian being a shameless flirt to Lan Wangji's horror.

Jinzhu and Yinzhu travel back with Jiang Cheng to save Lan Wangi and Wei Wuxian, and for the first time Jinzhu and Yinzhu show in public that the familial connection with Wei Wuxian goes both ways. The twins insist Lan Wangji stays until he's healed because they owe him a debt for saving Wei Wuxian, but mostly because they're nosy as shit about him. Wei Wuxian would not stop talking about him in his letters and when he returned, so they're like who is this?

Then they meet him, and are all. Ah. Fellow Introvert. Amazing.

We will still kill you if you do anything to our surrogate child/nephew.

Lan Wangji is like. Fair. But also what are you talking about I totally didn't write him a romantic song or anything.

Things tighten down all over the cultivation world after that, and Wei Wuxian is sent to Meishan Yu where Jiang Yanli is, and they miss out on the Lotus Pier attacks. When they get news of what happened, Jiang Yanli has to keep Wei Wuxian from immediately going back, since they both know that if Lotus Pier burned then their parents died defending it. A few days later, Jiang Cheng shows up, along with a badly hurt Jinzhu. Madame Yu forced Jinzhu to go with him since she knew Jiang Cheng would immediately be like. Nope, gonna go back to Lotus Pier to my death the minute Zidian released him.

Both of them are going through major surivor's guilt, but Jiang Cheng sneaks off to get his parent's bodies at the very least, and Jiang Yanli sends Wei Wuxian to chase him down. When they get there, Wen Ning finds them and shows them where the bodies have been moved to.

(Wei Wuxian sees his aunts body and has a major trauma moment, realizing that he's lost what basically amounted to his second mother, and almost lost his first. He decides he's not going to lose either Jinzhu or Jiang Yanli, and he'll do his best to keep Jiang Cheng around either.)

Basically it's the same progression, only this time Wei Wuxian's loyalty isn't to Jiang Cheng, but to Jiang Yanli, so he drags him back to Meishan. There, Jiang Yanli begs for something to be done to help her brother, but the healers are all at a loss.

Jinzhu, meanwhile, only wants to get revenge even though she's still really weak from the attack. All she wants to do is go on a suicidal mission to take out the Wens and Wei Wuxian is Not Having That. He refuses to let her go alone, and Jiang Yanli refuse to let Wei Wuxian and Jiang Cheng out of her sight. She knows Wei Wuxian would definitely sacrifice himself for Jinzhu, but he's her brother. They're far close than Jiang Cheng because they spent almost every waking moment together due to the circumstances, and by their own choice.

Jiang Yanli starts openly calling Jinzhu her aunt, putting her on the same level as her mother's sisters, and Wei Wuxian calls her mother in public, even though she fights it at first.

Eventually it becomes obvious that neither Jiang Cheng nor Jinzhu are getting better, so Jiang Yanli and Wei Wuxian decide to seek out Wen Qing, who had grown close to Jiang Yanli when they were at Gusu, and ask for her help. They come up with a plan where Wen Qing and Wen Ning are 'captured' by the remaining Jiang disciples, and brought back to Meishan.

There, Jiang Yanli finds out about Wen Qing's research into golden cores, and begs Wen Qing to transfer Jiang Yanli's to Jiang Cheng. After all, she's never been able to do anything to it due to her illness, and even as weak as it is it's still enough for him to cultivate.

Jinzhu is still trying to sneak out, and Wen Qing finally sits her down and tells her she still has a family, even though her sister and mistress are gone. The best thing Jinzhu can do now is to watch over Jiang Cheng and Jiang Yanli and her own child rather than trying to stay in the past. Jinzhu is not happy about this, but Wen Ning speaks up and says that since Jinzhu helped raise them, if Jinzhu left it would be like losing another parent all over again.

This, and Wen Qing's locking down of her core, make Jinzhu calm down and think long term rather than emotionally. Once Jiang Cheng, Jiang Yanli, and Jinzhu are healed enough, Wen Qing and Wen Ning are 'released' and go back to the Wens.

The Sunshot Campaign progresses in much the same way, only Jinzhu and Wei Wuxian work together to gather intelligence, while Jiang Yanli works closer with the sects in strategy and logistics behind the scenes. Jiang Cheng is still an angry butterball at this point, but Wei Wuxian isn't doing demonic cultivation, which creates problems, but they somehow manage to struggle through.

Jiang Yanli works to make sure the Dafan Wen get 'captured' very early in the campaign who have to look at the rest of the sects and be like. Y'all. They hate Wen Ruohan just as much as us. But also.

Free Healthcare.

In a war.

(NMJ is still against it, but he's overruled by literally everyone else.)

When Lan Wangji is away from the camp, Jiang Yanli and Jinzhu are both like, no, no moping Wei Wuxian. And they throw a bunch of paper at him and tell him to go do something useful. He ends up making new talismans that help with the war effort, and some that just make life easier, and hands them out to as many people as he can.

Once the Dafan Wen reach them, Wei Wuxian, once again, latches onto the orphaned A-Yuan. Jinzhu takes one look at them and immediately thinks,

and sets off to try and figure out how to adopt a grandchild. Lan Wangji is just thinking 'Yes. Perfect Husband Material' when he sees Wei Wuxian with A-Yuan.

Jiang Yanli has to be the one with the brain cell, pointing out to Wei Wuxian that he cannot adopt a child during a war. And especially not if he's still single. Seeing how Lan Wangji is looking at Wei Wuxian, Jiang Yanli seeks out Lan Xichen and tells him, this is what we're doing. Don't ask any questions. But your brother is going to marry my brother, so make sure neither of them die. Thanks.

Once they get close enough to Nightless City through the strength and power of Nie Mingjue's mustache and (insert epic war arc here), Jinzhu and Wei Wuxian sneak into Wen Ruohan's palace, and Lan Wangji invites himself along for Reasons.

When they share the logistics they've found out (time tables, the fact that Wen Ruohan is having health issues, the lack of cultivators within the walls of the city) with the rest of the war council, Wen Qing (invited there by Jiang Yanli and Jiang Cheng, specifically), points out to the rest of them that the medicine's Wen Ruohan takes are healthy in small doses but are also. Hella Poisonous.

And the rest of them are like, ok? Cool? But what does that have to do with us?

And Wen Qing just looks at them. You captured me, babes.

So Wen Qing 'escapes' back to Nightless city and because she looks absolutely awful (again, she knows what herbs and medicines to take to make her look tortured and miserable), and Wen Ruohan sees her and is like, my niece! You have returned to me, even though I no longer have your family to blackmail you! You do like me!

And she's like, yes, of course I do. I also brought the Jiang Sect Leader with me, and you could totally lock him up in the dungeons, or you could just. Let me keep him and experiment on him, that would be awesome?

And Wen Ruohan is like,

(Meanwhile, Jiang Cheng is the one sending information back to the Sunshot Campaign through lights in the window at night.)

Anyways, Wen Qing ends up being Wen Ruohan's doctor, again, while the fighting goes on outside, and rumors start to go around about one or three spies being inside Nightless City. Wen Qing says that they've got to rout the spies out or we'll lose this war.

Meanwhile, Meng Yao is just

Paranoia grows rampant as Jiang Cheng uses Wei Wuxian's talismans to make it seem like the spies' activities are increasing until Wen Ruohan only lets Wang Lingjiao and Wen Chao supervise and bring him his meals. So its a THING when he ends up bedbound with a poison that only Wen Qing can treat him for. And since Wang Lingjiao and Wen Chao were the only two who could have tampered with his food, and Wen Qing is above reproach being the prodigal son doctor (and the spying and the evidence of it was going on before she got there), Wen Chao and Wang Lingjiao are executed.

Meanwhile, back at the ranch Sunshot Campaign:

Jin Zixuan is still being stupid about Jiang Yanli, and he lets the same woman take all the credit for Jiang Yanli's food, and he confronts her when she tells him that no, that's from me. And Jiang Yanli just bursts into angry stress tears - but no one other than her knows that - and Wei Wuxian snaps. Jiang Yanli takes him down before he can get to Jin Zixuan, though, quicker than anyone but Hanguang-Jun has been able to.

(Jinzhu pointed out all his weaknesses to Jiang Yanli long ago, and Jiang Yanli Does Not Hesitate.)

And everyone else is just looking at her like, wtf? Then Jiang Yanli proceeds to dress Lan Zixuan down and his only thought is

Nie Mingjue continues to be a bear of a warrior and wins skirmishes and takes out Wen Xu. At this point Jiang Guangshan is looking at it and being like, ah yes. I help. Here's two more cultivators. And generally continuing to be The Worst.

Jin Zixuan and his contingent of MianMian and other cultivators collectively roll their eyes.

But Nie Mingjue's story is a completely different story with grand, overarcing themes of brotherhood, trauma, war and glory, and family trauma, but that is not what we're on about today folks.

Flash back to Nightless City where Wen Ruohan is losing his shit and Wen Qing keeps on gaslighting him, because she is a chaos demon on the same level as Wei Wuxian when given a chance. Wen Ruohan decides he can only trust like, two people besides Wen Qing, and the rest of his sect is just waiting for him to show any weakness.

Wen Qing very gently tells him that he hasn't been sleeping well, that's why he's so paranoid, and makes him some very strong sleeping droughts. She warns him not to take too much all at once, though, because when taken in large doses it's deadly. Only he doesn't realize that not only does it have a strong depressants in it, it's also full of stimulants that don't let him fall asleep.

After only a few days, Wen Ruohan is hella hallucinating and it gets to the point where his liver just. Fucks off. and he dies brutally. And since he's executed all of his remaining line, Wen Qing is the next in line for sect leader.

Immediately her first decree is that the Wens are surrendering and she throws open the doors to Nightless City and orders the remaining Wen soldiers to stand down. Jiang Chang comes out and is like, can I go home now? And Wen Qing is like,

The Jin are still like, the Wen have to pay we lost sooo much to them, wah wah wah, but this time even Jin Zixuan is like Bro-Dad. Chill.And Jin Guangshan kind of has to since he isn't able to claim Jiggy's killing of Wen Ruohan this time around.

So everyone fucks off to rebuild their sects; Jiang Cheng works on his 'new' core; and Jiang Yanli works to rebuild the sect, forcing Wei Wuxian to do a lot of the work because she's tired, man.

Eventually, Lan Xichen gets tired of Lan Wangji moping about and sends him to Lotus Pier under the guise of intersect relations, along with a letter outlining a marriage proposal because at this point even Lan Qiren just wants to marry Lan Wangji off to put him out of his misery.

Side Story: Wei Wuxian absconds with the rest of the Dafan Wen who have all looked at Nightless City and been like, nah. I'm good. And Wen Qing is like. Same. Especially since

So the Wen are disbanded as a sect officially as a condition of surrenduring (and she didn't want to lead the remaining Wen soldiers, they super suck).

Instead she goes to Nie Mingjue, since the Nie's were the only sect who didn't have majorly damaged land during the war, and Nie Huaisang and her got on famously, and rolls up like, Yo. NMJ. I want to build a medical pavilion, and he's like. No.

And NHS is like. Bro. Please, let me handle this. Wen Qing here's a nice spot just outside our home, and here's some money to train medics and learn about our terrifying cultivation methods, thanks.

Side Story Time!

Wen Qing and Nie Mingjue end up in a hate/fuck relationship, playing a long game of chicken until they end up married. Wen Qing is able to cut back on the resentful energy of the Nie Cultivation methods through a combination of Wen medicine and Lan musical cultivation to extend his life in a 'You can't die yet, I need more funding,' sort of way, and Nie Mingjue agrees to her methods because 'I'm still suspicious of you."

Everyone else is like, please use better silencing talismans Sect Leader we are begging you.

Nie Huaisang is currently commissioning three seperate plays dedicated to Wen Qing Alone.

Back at the plotline: The Phoenix Mountain Hunt still goes on as planned; Wei Wuxian still throws a flower at Lan Wangji; only this time he spends the entire opening ceremony at Jiang Yanli's side, who is there more in an official pseudo-sect leader capacity rather than at Madam Jin's invitation.

Madam Jin is still like, My son's a dick, yes, but marraige maybe?

Wei Wuxian snarks at this underneath his breath, and Jinzhu discreetly stabs him with a hair pin and reminds him to behave. Jiang Yanli tells Madam Jin that the Jiang Sect is willing to honor the marriage if the Jin are since their sects are so close, but only on the condition that Jin Zixuan is the one wanting to enter the marriage. Otherwise, if he is still against it, they should dissolve the marriage since the Jiang's have already taken so much insult from him personally.

Before Madam Jin can protest too much, Jiang Yanli steers the conversation with the other sect leaders around them to matters of trade, adeptly putting to use the more intensive training of a sect she received at Meishan to use.

A few hours into the hunt, Wei Wuxian gets fidgety, and Jinzhu chases him off to check on Jiang Cheng to keep him out of trouble. On the way, he 'finds' Lan Wangji and at some point in their walk, Lan Wangji looks as if he wants to confess something, but they're interrupted by Jin Zixun's appearance, along with Su She and a few other reprobates.

Wei Wuxian manages to be polite enough, and waits until he and Lan Wangji are walking off to slip a few talismans Jin Zixun's way so he can't reasonably be blamed. Su She, ever the sycophant, still blames him, claiming that he saw Wei Wuxian do it. And Lan Wangji is like, I was right right next to Wei Ying and I saw nothing.

Jin Zixuan stumbles upon them, along with Jiang Yanli, presumably on a walk together, with Madam Jin and Jinzhu behind them. Jin Zixun whines about it to his cousin until Lan Wangji pushes him for proof of a talisman. Surely there would have been a paper or ashes or something left to prove that there was ever a talisman to begin with.

(Knowing full well Wei Wuxian has come up with a talisman that leaves no trace.)

When Jin Zixun turns to Jinzhu, thinking that surely one of Madam Yu's maids knows just what Wei Wuxian gets up to, she just turns to face him and stares, letting the numerous scars on her face scare him off of it.

As they return to the pavilion, they all have to watch as Jin Zixuan is awkward and weird around Jiang Yanli, and Wei Wuxian can't help but make faces about it. Jiang Yanli catches him and points out, to his utter embarassment, that he's worse around Lan Wangji, and since she's had to deal with it for the last ten years, he can deal with it for one hour.

That's more than enough to keep him quiet until the banquet that night, though it doesn't help to keep Lan Wangji from looking too smug about it.

#mdzs #grandmaster of demonic cultivation #i just...cannot get this idea out of my head #and like...i'm sure there's an au like this somewhere....my brain is just...do it #and i can't #so like #there's that #don't take this that seriously it's just supposed to be fun #also tumblr's gif search function is now awful? when did that happen?#is it finished? mostly #but considering i doubt anyone will read this here it is #go finish your outline brain we have a test this week

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