#i just. i wish it was in my control
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god i really wish i could just. control my voice. could control my volume and how much i speak.
#vent in tags#cant take the bus home anymore. last time the driver didnt hear me when i pointed out my stop#i was in the front seat. i was being as loud as i could. he couldnt even hear that i was talking.#i think one of my coworkers might think i dont like her. she says hi every time we pass each other#all i can do is a little nod. i can hardly ever say hi on command#cant always speak on command in general.#i need to be prepared. to be anticipating a conversation#and even then im too quiet#or if im w friends and family im too loud. i talk too much. too fast#i just. i wish it was in my control#it is for everyone else in the world. why not me.#actually autistic#ok to rb#rambling
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how do transmascs not want to kill themselves all the time honestly
#i experience transphobia and hardship in my daily life#and then i go home and go on my computer and learn that i dont experience any of that actually#im just pretending. and i shouldnt talk about it because im just a fake trans#who wishes his experiences could even measure up to a crumb of what real trans people (women) have to go through#ok cool.#testosterone is a controlled substance did you know that. my state is actively making it harder for people my age to access hrt#but i guess since im transmasc i dont actually have to worry about any of that! im fine!#i didnt have a 3 month time limit before it would be illegal for me to access hrt! im transmasc im too privileged to worry about that!#transphobia#transandrophobia
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#baldur's gate#wyll#wyll ravengard#bg3#baldur's gate 3#bg3edit#gamingedit#videogameedit#videogamemen#my edit#bg3 wyll#i wish you can turn off the torches in the raft for this scene#i wish you can just control the lighting in this game in general#anyways here's wyll
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On average, what is the total MONTHLY amount that you spend on dining out*?
*(This doesn't only count going out to restaurants, but also stuff like picking up fast food to bring home, getting a coffee on the way to work, getting a premade sandwich from a grocery store deli during lunch, buying a quick snack from a convenience store or food cart whilst walking somewhere, ordering a pizza or any other food to be delivered to your home, etc.)
*(If you often dine out in groups/as a household: calculate and divide the costs so that you get a Per Person average. This is for YOU individually, NOT the total household/group costs)
(I'm sure polls similar to this have been made before (very common topic), I just haven't personally seen one that I can remember, so, I was curious to do my own! I was discussing this with a group of people today and it was very interesting to see how widely the number varied between individuals. :0c )
(Reblog for bigger sample size if you can, and feel free to explain your answer in tags if there's anything extra to add!)
#polls#tumblr polls#I'm mostly in the 0/1 - 25$ category. Maybe the rare month is a bit over $25 if there's something specific going on like birthday.#Which I'm NEVER eating in an actual restaurant (erm... covid... plus I just hate restaurant environments. i would rather pickup#the food and bring it home to a peaceful quiet environment that I control lol). But more typically like stopping by a grocery store deli#section or something. I don't have coffee that much. And I can't eat fast food much due to my health issues/diet restriction stuff#so if I'm out like coming back from an appointment and I start feeling really sick and weak. I know that a hamburger will just#blow up my system and cause nausea or something. So I try to pick the breadiest most#neutral looking turkey sandwich at the safeway deli to eat during the hour ride home or whatever lol#I actually kind of wish I could do stuff like get food more often vecause it would take the burden of cooking everything off of me#but.. alas... Money... and Health Things... T o T#I still wouldn't do it ALL the time but like... once a week instead of once a month or something.. or maybe turning into a coffee#person.. I do love drinks A LOT .. i am a drink person who will have 5 different drinks sipping on at all times#But i just have to make them all myself mostly lol#And I cant really have too much coffee since it will make me sick. so like.. teas and juice mostly#When I inevitably become a millionaire by never using social media never networking and only finishing one#sculpture every 5 months which I dont even post about or sell - then I shall... get more drinks..#I will somehow wean my body onto coffee and drink one a day solely for the ritual of it#Though even then... I would still probably just like.. buy the mateirals to make it at home or something#Like if you had a million dollars you could just buy a kitchen grade ice cream machine and other stuff to make your own milkshakes and#coffees and smoothies and bubble teas. Genuinely I think even if I were a BILLIONAIRE I would still look at playing likr $8 for a single#coffee and go .. uh.... I could just buy the equipment to make this and then save that money. PLUS. its in my house now so no need to#have to leave. I can make my own drinks in the comfort of home. .. ideal..#Like no matter how rich I ever got I would still have the lingering scroogey stinginess. like i am NOT paying for that. I will jus#make it myself. Especially if it was an Everyday thing. Anythign thats part of my routine I try to optimize and make as efficient as#possible... ANYWAY.. In an IDEAL world I would get treats. but probably not that much. as on a daily basis it would start to get#to me and I would just save up to buy kitchen machinery if I was rich lol
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niko and edwin are the autistic duo and charles and crystal are the adhd duo thank you for coming to my ted talk
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guys don't sell me ships and advertise them as generic tropes because I will just automatically despise them
#can't control it#that's just how my brain works#I don't actually ship anyone in tmagp and I wish people would stop trying to force their ship onto me#so far it's been dyhard fans doing that tho so I hate it more than the other ships#enemies to lovers trope my ass
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I'm not sure if I believe the "Wakaba Isshiki did unethical experiments" theory in the fandom, but I do think this is the biggest proof of it in-game:
Because how the hell would she know that?
The first explanation is that she did experiments by sending people into palaces and then testing what happens to them if the palace collapses. Which is messed up for obvious reasons.
The second explanation is that she did NOT test it, meaning she was just making shit up. Which is funny but also would make her a terrible scientist. This explanation is less believable because everything else about her research is too accurate.
There's also a theory that Wakaba did unethical experiments on Akechi specifically. I'm not sure I believe that, since the evidence for it is pretty shallow (like the featherman game scientist experimenting on grey pigeon). But this scene is once again the biggest argument you could make for that theory. The researcher in the image above refers to palaces by their correct term 'palaces', which they say was based on Wakaba's research. But that's only something you would know with firsthand experience of the metaverse. And the only person they know who could access the metaverse was Akechi (that we know of, but i dont think Shido would rely only on Akechi if there were other options).
So yeah this scene is very sus. It's most likely the writers didn't think too deep about the implications. There's no way they wanted Futaba's mom to be sketchy, right? But even if it's not intentional, the scenes and their implications still exist. So in conclusion those theories make sense, I get it, and I don't blame anyone for headcanoning them and having fun. And tbh anyone involved with cognitive psience was portrayed as some degree of unethical (maruki for example), maybe this is just on-brand
#i really wish the game explained what the cognitive psience research thing was like more#like WHO are those people following joker at the end of the game. and WHO are those men escorting akechi in the end credits#shuake always matching because theyre both being stalked by men in suits for some unexplained reason#also about that featherman game#we all know grey pigeon is supposed to be akechi#but personally i dont think the scientist in that game is wakaba. thematically it feels more like shido#but regardless the game implies some stuff that akechi went through#either he was experimented on by cognitive pscientists (if you take the game literally)#or it's supposed to be a metaphor for the grooming shido did to him. endangering his life and controlling him with promises and praise#uggghggh thats so awful. someone pls just let the boy be happy#my post#persona 5#persona 5 royal#wakaba isshiki#futaba sakura#goro akechi#p5r wakaba#p5r futaba#p5r akechi#shido masayoshi#phantom thieves#p5r shido#p5r analysis#p5r meta#persona 5 meta#p5r#shuake#tagged shuake because i mentioned them in the tags even if the post itself isnt rlly about them
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What is your favorite vessel/princess?
It's so hard to choose, I love them all!! But when I first read this, two vessels popped in my head right away because they feel like they're straight out of my nightmares: The (Deconstructed) Damsel and the Drowned Grey
The metaphors! The visuals!! The horrifying tragedy of it all!!! <333
#i often lucid dream during my nightmares and everytime I do the nightmares only tend to get worse#the deconstructed damsel felt so much like that#youre asleep and theres a girl and as you talk to her the more an unsettling feeling grows as the illusion of the dream grows more and more#apparent and she starts to fall apart in your hands and your mind created her but you're not as in control as you wish you were#so you cant save her#because its too late#if only you had stayed asleep#and then the drowned grey route is more like the nightmares that just go YOURE AFRAID OF WATER GO IN THE WATER AND THERES A DEAD BODY AAAAA#thanks for the ask!!! love drawing these ladies#stp#my art#stp damsel#stp drowned grey#slay the princess#ask
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Tim unconsciously sending/showing signals of his feelings for Lucy
#chenford#chenfordedit#the rookie#therookieedit#tim x lucy#tim and lucy#lucy x tim#jesuis-assez edits: chenford#Or rather Tim's body responding to what his mind has not yet caught up with and his actions showing/ revealing#his feelings in full display. Or rather Tim's mind suppressing what he doesn't want to acknowledge#Tim closing the door to the possibility of having developed feelings for Lucy while she was his rookie or rather ..#Tim not thinking of Lucy in that light as she was his rookie but feeling so much for her and not understanding what he was feeling.#Because this is uncharted territory for him. This feels different. What he feels for her and what she has given him.#Or rather Tim needing to be in control and how he couldn't control his heart letting Lucy in.#Or rather allowing Lucy to take space in his heart gradually until she covers it completely with her love and kindness#and not realising just how deeply he had fallen for her. How she came to be this important person in his orbit#How she came in his life and changed it for the better. How she was his rookie and his friend and how this one person could mean so much#and how he can't bare to lose her.#How little control he had over how he feels for her and how he came to accept and embrace that#how the entire foundation they built was worth risking and exploring to him#because how could something so beautiful not be?#*takes a breath * ok. I wish I could convey all of this more eloquently but my brain is just not having it.
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*Hands you a free pass to draw something fun*
YAYY YIIPIEE!!!
tiny peri on the palm of someone's hand! be verrrrry careful with him!
#fairly oddparents#fop#fop a new wish#fop peri#asks#fleecal#did u know that the reason i started itty bitties was bcs i just got my hand on a bunch of new hand refs#and i was drawing characters super imposed onto those hand warm up drawings#because imagine. what if reverse isekai except the fantasy characters are SMALL!! TINY wizard in your hands!!!!!#and then i started watching FOP ANW at the same exact time#and decided to explore this specific dynamic via FOP#haha things spiraled well out of control but im having a blast!!!#I love worldbuilding!!!!!
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I'm ngl, I know it's a really small thing compared to the glaringly obvious villainy his dad has showcased, but I love how well the pizza episode conveys Dev's emotional neglect without it technically coming up at all
Little dude is rich af and nobody has ever told him about dairy alternative pizza??? Look at that face, there's probably tears of joy behind those shades ffs.
And personally I feel like that's a bit of a recurring thing with his wishes too, like he knows he's got the power to get the things he wants, but as insufferable as he is sometimes he may have been conditioned out of "being a problem" via "overly specific" requests.
Kind of like Cookie's "wish granting" style, he gets "the best" (read: most expensive) thing and then expected to shut up and stay out of the way
#fop a new wish#fop anw#fairly odd parents a new wish#dev dimmadome#idk maybe I'm reading too deep into it bc I've got people I'm very close to with food trauma from controlling assholes#and I've got food allergies#and like he's 100% a (traumatized) little turd and all but that was just elicited such a#"ohhh honey! you can have a snack too! I promise!!!'' reaction in my head the moment he pulled out his allergy card#and it made me cry just a *little bit* when he got to have pizza ngl
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had a dream dan got cancelled so he and phil hard launched in his apology video for damage control
#i’m not even on hard launch hill idk how much harder they can launch and frankly i don’t want to find out#i already know too much i wish i knew way less about them#we should all know less about each other#but the idea of dan getting cancelled and#phil going “maybe we can just distract them by acknowledging we’re a couple really casually while you’re apologising” is so good#phil so would he is damage control king#dnp#dan and phil#phan#dan howell#daniel howell#amazingphil#phil lester#danisnotonfire#yeet my deenp#yeet my deet#d&p#danandphilgames#schrödinger’s hard launch#phannie dreams#hbdnell#tmogar
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wanderer
(referenced from that one shot in the 3.3 interlude quest)
#genshin impact#wanderer#scaramouche#my posts#ser draws stuff#anyway this is way too late but!!! may all wanderer wanters be wanderer havers!!!#I originally wanted to finish this before I pulled for him with my friend last Fri but I didn't manage to rush it in the end 😓#good news is!!! I won the 50/50 so I still have funds for hutao if she comes out next patch in the chronicled wish banner#okay I swear though this guy is so convenient for exploration#I put him on a team with nahida faruzan and beidou they have zero synergy and no healing but it's fine I'll just make a lot of sweet madame#ALSO I only realized he's smiling at his glowing vision in one of his idles before realising he's being watched#and hiding his face with his hat#AND IT MAKES ME SO EMOTIONAL OKAY#like that's essentially the symbol of his freedom and rebirth placed over where his heart should be#and it's his power and his power alone not something anyone else has control over#YOU KNOW#this guy istg
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there is something so so so Appealing about angry/irritated Barnaby. it scratches an itch in my brain. somethin somethin comic relief characters getting to break their mold and be outwardly unhappy
#plus it just looks... Nice on him yk yk#i sat down to do a lil character study and Next Thing I Knew barns was ready to Throw Down#still tweaking how i draw him... still not fully satisfied#except for the center scribble#theres a reason its on its own. its my fav of the bunch#and also the happiest ive been with a scribble in a While!#everybody hold on im shifting into barnaby mode#kidding kidding. maybe. we'll see how i feel tomorrow#scribble salad#welcome home#welcome home puppet show#welcome home fanart#barnaby b beagle#i like how i keep cycling through which neighbor im Focusing on#lately its been howdy but all this laughingstock is making me 👀 @ barnaby#still patiently waiting for my brain to seize poppy in its white-knuckle grip#please. please. i do not control the Motivation but god i wish i did#still. anyway. angy barnaby. fuck yeah. hes great.#i think i saw that one uhhhh drawing of clown's of barns looking mildly annoyed#and thats probably what made me go Oh I Love This. This Is Incredible. I Think About This Every Day.#he deserves to be upset. as a Treat#all comic relief characters should have a free 'choose violence' ticket
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Oh to be able to make the complex lore comic that lives in my head about the concept of fairies, anti-fairies, and pixies once being a civilization of one single species of fae that splintered both metaphorically and literally due to internal conflict
#Basic concept: one fae has their good and bad sides split into the fairy and anti fairy#While what remains (ie their more 'grey' traits) are left behind as a third being that's more of a Husk than anything#Pixies are kind of like the Kingdom Hearts nobodies in my head#None of them are directly associated or bonded to any single fairy the way anti-fairies are#They're just sort of a mixed bag of leftovers#Different from Nobodies in that aspect#The conflict that caused the initial split was the decision to stop doing harm to the humans through the planting of changelings#Which eventually evolved into a debate over how they treated humans in general#All desires to help and care for the human race was separated into fairies#While all desires to do harm was divided into antifairies#And then the left over unrelated stuff (like not caring about the humans either way and only being self interested instead) became the pixie#Unfortunately for everyone involved the split caused a severe decrease in magical abilities for all sides#Since it was really just one magic that was split into thirds#Having children was also banned at this point because there was no way of knowing if the children would be of one side#Or if they would be the original unsplit species#And there was concern this would cause conflict#I also like to think the heads of each faction erased the populations memories of their origins eventually#If only to make it easier to dehumanize the other factions and elevate themselves by erasing any associations with them#There are still some fae who exist who either were part of the split but escaped before they had their memories wiped#Or were never affected by the split and therefore still exist as the original form of fae#With all three 'types' of magic under their control#ANYWAY#fop a new wish#Fop#fopanw#fairly oddparents#fairly oddparents a new wish#A new wish
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i’m genuinely shocked by this:
how can someone miss the point by such a large margin that they end up implying that Rhaenyra’s cause would have had no positive impact on the women of the realm?
how can one’s thought process be so far removed from the actual reality? is this the inconsistent logic one must tangle in to become a green? have these people never sat in a history class before?
jeyne arryn anyone? does she not exist to them? a point actually made in the book (not one twisted by the greens to advance their agenda) was that her rulership of the vale would’ve been seriously endangered and put into question if the greens won. but that is conveniently ignored by these interesting… folks.
i can understand the anger this person has with the horrible dance of the dragons adaptation and its treatment of female characters. and i mean it. especially when i say female characters. because alicent isn’t the female character who’s actually getting the shortest end of the stick. it was rhaenyra and rhaenys who were the most grievously declawed. rhaenyra is queen. her council is supposed to be her council. the war is supposed to be her war for her throne, not for some stupid prophecy that should’ve logically been lost a long time ago. and rhaenys is a baratheon with a temper and a dragon rider who would’ve burnt the greens and melted their bones if she had the chance. but for some reason the show decided to make a whole new character and slap rhaenys name on it.
to be clear: rhaenyra and rhaenys were powerful in their own right. they had dragons and were a part of the royal dynasty with claims to the throne. their power is theirs. it is derived from them.
alicent’s power is derived from the power of the men she is related to. that’s literally what the queen dowager title means. her influence is dependent on if the men in her life and her children listen to her. they don’t have to, and many characters don’t listen to her in the book, which is why i say she wasn’t the most grievously declawed.
it’s also hilarious that this person considers the queen dowager position to be the most powerful position in the greens court. they must have never read a cersei chapter as she faces her loss of power, which showcases the fickle nature of the power women hold in the westerosi patriarchy.
the correct sequence of power in the greens court is: the usurper king. then the hand. then the princes, specifically the usurper kings brothers, and then the queen consort, as they have dragons and claims to the throne. then the lords who can call on armies and fleets and have coffers that run deep. then the queen dowager, who has little influence outside of kings landing and therefore not as much influence in court as others.
the case the screenshotted post tries to make is that non-targ women’s positions aren’t advanced by rhaenyra being queen, which, as i pointed out above, is not true, nor is it what rhaenyra is fighting for. rhaenyra fought for her throne, which she had a legal claim to. that’s all. many houses joined her instead of joining the usurpers because of many different reasons, but, imo, three of the most important reasons for joining the blacks/staying neutral were 1) women’s inheritance rights (and women in general) should be respected 2) the head of the houses heir and the heirs right to inherit should be respected 3) oaths should be respected.
i also want to point out that women, most obviously targaryen women, did lose power after rhaenyra’s death and due to the concessions made to the greens and their ideology by the blacks for peace along with anti-rhaenyra propaganda that set women’s inheritance rights and the general power they could hold back by quite a lot.
and funnily enough, we see this first with jaehaera, who, while was a queen, was most likely murdered by the character who was supposed to be guarding her because no one gave a shit about a targaryen girls status and the potential consequences of killing her because they knew they could get away with it; and her death directly led to alicent’s line ending. the reality is that there were practically no consequences, as it seemed to have been easily covered up as a suicide, because the targaryens lost so much power after the dance, which directly put the targaryen women in the line of fire. if the targaryen women couldn’t be used they’d be discarded. and jaehaera, a simple girl who’s entire family was all dead besides one, and who’s father was greatly disliked by many, was an eyesore to those who wished for more power. so she was killed. brutally.
and the reason the women of house targaryen were so vulnerable? it’s because they had no claim to anything anymore! no one could try to use jaehaera for power so no greedy lords sought her favor nor did any want to protect her! and jaehaera is just the start because afterwards we get the maidens in the vault, then viserys ii is installed over daena, and then everything about naerys and her horrid husband, maekar over daenora, and eventually everything concludes with young princess rhaenys and rhaella over a hundred years later. tragic.
it’s literally downhill after rhaenyra’s death.
#otto getting fired a second time because the usurper king didn’t want to listen to alicent 😶#why is green shit popping up on my for you page#anti greens#anti team green stans#anti team green#dance of the dragons#anti hotd#anti alicent stans#anti alicent hightower#rhaenyra targaryen#pro rhaenyra targaryen#jaehaera targaryen#rhaenys the queen who never was#jeyne arryn#cersei lannister#is there a tag just for discussions about the westerosi patriarchy?#pro team black#the blacks#i’m getting sucked back into hotd fandom drama 😞#i really do hate that show#love the actors and actresses tho. i wish they had a better script#hotd fandom critical#power in court is literally: hey what do you control and what can i gain by using or allying with you?#characters only allied with alicent because she was so close to the throne and the targaryens#like i stated in my post: this kind of power is fickle.
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