#why is green shit popping up on my for you page

[throwawayasoiafaccount]

i’m genuinely shocked by this:

how can someone miss the point by such a large margin that they end up implying that Rhaenyra’s cause would have had no positive impact on the women of the realm?

how can one’s thought process be so far removed from the actual reality? is this the inconsistent logic one must tangle in to become a green? have these people never sat in a history class before?

jeyne arryn anyone? does she not exist to them? a point actually made in the book (not one twisted by the greens to advance their agenda) was that her rulership of the vale would’ve been seriously endangered and put into question if the greens won. but that is conveniently ignored by these interesting… folks.

i can understand the anger this person has with the horrible dance of the dragons adaptation and its treatment of female characters. and i mean it. especially when i say female characters. because alicent isn’t the female character who’s actually getting the shortest end of the stick. it was rhaenyra and rhaenys who were the most grievously declawed. rhaenyra is queen. her council is supposed to be her council. the war is supposed to be her war for her throne, not for some stupid prophecy that should’ve logically been lost a long time ago. and rhaenys is a baratheon with a temper and a dragon rider who would’ve burnt the greens and melted their bones if she had the chance. but for some reason the show decided to make a whole new character and slap rhaenys name on it.

to be clear: rhaenyra and rhaenys were powerful in their own right. they had dragons and were a part of the royal dynasty with claims to the throne. their power is theirs. it is derived from them.

alicent’s power is derived from the power of the men she is related to. that’s literally what the queen dowager title means. her influence is dependent on if the men in her life and her children listen to her. they don’t have to, and many characters don’t listen to her in the book, which is why i say she wasn’t the most grievously declawed.

it’s also hilarious that this person considers the queen dowager position to be the most powerful position in the greens court. they must have never read a cersei chapter as she faces her loss of power, which showcases the fickle nature of the power women hold in the westerosi patriarchy.

the correct sequence of power in the greens court is: the usurper king. then the hand. then the princes, specifically the usurper kings brothers, and then the queen consort, as they have dragons and claims to the throne. then the lords who can call on armies and fleets and have coffers that run deep. then the queen dowager, who has little influence outside of kings landing and therefore not as much influence in court as others.

the case the screenshotted post tries to make is that non-targ women’s positions aren’t advanced by rhaenyra being queen, which, as i pointed out above, is not true, nor is it what rhaenyra is fighting for. rhaenyra fought for her throne, which she had a legal claim to. that’s all. many houses joined her instead of joining the usurpers because of many different reasons, but, imo, three of the most important reasons for joining the blacks/staying neutral were 1) women’s inheritance rights (and women in general) should be respected 2) the head of the houses heir and the heirs right to inherit should be respected 3) oaths should be respected.

i also want to point out that women, most obviously targaryen women, did lose power after rhaenyra’s death and due to the concessions made to the greens and their ideology by the blacks for peace along with anti-rhaenyra propaganda that set women’s inheritance rights and the general power they could hold back by quite a lot.

and funnily enough, we see this first with jaehaera, who, while was a queen, was most likely murdered by the character who was supposed to be guarding her because no one gave a shit about a targaryen girls status and the potential consequences of killing her because they knew they could get away with it; and her death directly led to alicent’s line ending. the reality is that there were practically no consequences, as it seemed to have been easily covered up as a suicide, because the targaryens lost so much power after the dance, which directly put the targaryen women in the line of fire. if the targaryen women couldn’t be used they’d be discarded. and jaehaera, a simple girl who’s entire family was all dead besides one, and who’s father was greatly disliked by many, was an eyesore to those who wished for more power. so she was killed. brutally.

and the reason the women of house targaryen were so vulnerable? it’s because they had no claim to anything anymore! no one could try to use jaehaera for power so no greedy lords sought her favor nor did any want to protect her! and jaehaera is just the start because afterwards we get the maidens in the vault, then viserys ii is installed over daena, and then everything about naerys and her horrid husband, maekar over daenora, and eventually everything concludes with young princess rhaenys and rhaella over a hundred years later. tragic.

it’s literally downhill after rhaenyra’s death.

[writteninkat]

I Wish You Would | Bakugou x Reader

synonym: As you deep clean your attic, you find a box filled to the brim with all your old things back in high school...and the memories of your first love, Katsuki.

w/c: 2.2k

warnings: angst

a/n: i was going for a kind of bitter-sweet tone for this, so i hope it hits the right mark

navigation

♫ listening to:

You sneeze inside your shirt, wiping the sweat dripping down the side of your face with your arm as you huff languidly.

One more corner. I can do this!

You make it to the dark corner, moving a few half-filled boxes around as your eyes fall on one that's tucked in all the way at the back. Intrigued, you pick up the box, struggling slightly at its surprising weight.

You drop it in a heave, watching as the light from your attic's circular window shines directly on the box. Lowering to your knees you undo the flaps, gasping at the first sight of the item at the top. A UA uniform jacket.

Your brows knit in confusion as you pull the jacket out, spreading it out. The faintest smell of caramel and smoke seeps through your nose, a memory immediately flashing.

UA Jacket

"Why didn't you bring a damn umbrella?!" Katsuki yells, holding his uniform over your head as the both of you run under the pouring rain.

"You're my boyfriend! Shouldn't you be the one taking initiative?!" You yell back just as loudly, earning a glare from the annoyed blond.

When the both of you finally reach the dorms, you breathe heavily, catching your breaths.

"You guys got caught in the rain?" Shoto asks, showing off his dry state. You glare at the stoic man, standing up straight.

"No, icy hot. We swam through a tsunami."

When it looks like your classmate starts to believe you, you roll your eyes at him, walking deeper inside the dorms. As you reach the hallway towards the elevator, an arm drapes itself around your shoulders.

"Heyyy, you're learning a thing or two from already, huh?" Katsuki grins, proud at you for giving Shoto shit.

"Yeah, I'll start calling you professor." You chuckle, earning a soft kiss from the blond.

You blink out of your memory, feeling your eyes well as you drop the jacket on the floor. The next thing you pick up is a burnt scrapbook. You gasp, running your shaky fingers across the names on the cover page.

Katsuki & Y/n

"This is so fucking stupid." Katsuki grumble, holding the little hearts with one hand in a cupping motion, the other holding tiny hearts.

"No it's not! It's cute!" You say, wiping the glue on the paper with your finger before pasting the a picture of the both of you on the thick page.

"Here, how's it looking?" You ask, holding the book up at him. Despite him frowning and glaring at the page, ypu can tell he's really studying it.

"Add in a few more orange." He says, looking away as you giggle.

You carefully apply the lipstick on his puckered lips, his eyes filled with rage. To give him credit, he didn't move at all when you were applying the make up product on him. You smile brightly, checking to see if there were any messes on his lips before looking up at his eyes.

You grab the scrapbook, pointing at the area that overlaps the kiss mark you just did. "Kiss."

Without complaints, Katsuki presses his lips on the page. He's glaring and the throbbing on the side of his forehead looks like it's about to pop, but he still kissed.

You look at the finished product, laughing in amusement as you drop the book, replacing it with your polaroid camera.

"Say cheese!" You yell.

"Wait, you didn't say anything about pictures-!" The flash flickers.

The polaroid shows you holding the camera, your lips stretched into a wide grin, painted in a dark green color. Katsuki is right beside you, eye brows furrowed and mouth halfway open as he was in the middle of talking- yelling. He was in the middle of yelling.

Without knowing the story of the picture, to an outsider, it may look like you annoy his entire being. But the bright orange coloring his lips, along with the soft look in his eyes makes you think otherwise.

You bite on your lower lip, smiling wistfully as you place the book down beside you, unable to go through all the pages yet. What you find next finally pushes your tears over the edge.

A dark green scarf with orange boxes.

You sneeze, watching one or two cherry blossom petals fall on the bridge you're standing on as you watch a family of swans swim from below it.

"Why didn't you wear anything warm?" Katsuki asks, wrapping a soft, warm scarf around your neck.

"Then why'd you bring me here? We could have stayed in the dirms." You frown.

You spot his ears slowly turn red along with his cheeks as he looks away bashfully. Your eyes widen in surprise as this is the first time you've seen Katsuki act this way.

"Well, I just thought maybe I should do this somewhere pretty, y'know?" He mumbles, scratching his nape as he tucks his other hand inside his pocket.

"What do you have in there?" You ask, eyes on said pocket as you narrow them in suspicion.

"You know what! Nevermind!" He yells, turning around. "Damn idiot..." He mutters.

You run after him, grabbing his fee hand to spin him around. As soon as you're facing eachother, you quickly grab onto his other wrist, pulling his hand out his pocket.

"Wait-"

Your gaze falls on a shiny silver ring with an emerald as its stone. You gasp, hands flying to your mouth as your eyes begin to water.

"Hold on-" Katsuki starts but you quickly jump at him, wrapping your arms around his neck as you chant, "Yes! Yes! I'm saying yes!"

The people around you begin clapping and cheering for the both of you, making your heart melt instantly.

"Y/n, hold on! This isn't an engagement ring." Your boyfriend yells, pulling your arms off of him. You suck in a breath at his words, heart clenching in pain at his rejection.

He immediately reads your expression, rolling his eyes.

"If you had just let me speak first before screaming like crazy!" He yells, taking your right hand, inserting the ring in your ring finger. It fits you perfectly, the light glinting off the stone.

"It's a promise ring. I know we're too damn young for such heavy commitments, but if you'll wait for me..." He squeezes your hands, deeply staring into your eyes. "I promise to ask for permission from the people you love, so I can take your hand, and officially make you mine."

The tears stream down your face as your chest warms with so much love and adoration for this foul mouthed dumbass.

"How 'bout it, idiot? Wait for me?" He asks, a rare smile on his lips. You disuse your words, instead standing on your tippy-toes to press your lips on his. You're greeted by a soft grunt before he wraps his arms around you, kissing you back with so much passion it almost drowns you.

You feel the wind pick up and by the time you've both pulled away, the cherry blossom petals have surround the both of you, swathing you in pink.

You dig around for the ring, cursing when you find a hero keychain instead. You study the small item; dark green and in a shape of a grenade, with a date on it. 04-27. You smile as your heart aches- it was a week after his birthday when you finally agreed to be his girlfriend. You set it aside, wondering what else you'll find.

A scortched notebook.

"'Bend your knees when you land after falling from somewhere tall, it will cushion your fall.'" You read aloud, raising a brow at your boyfriend. "Really?" You deadpan.

Angrily, he snatches the notebook from your grasp. "If you don't fucking want it, give it here! I'll burn this to pieces!" He yells, activating his quirk.

Thinking fast, you grab his opened bottle of water, splashin it onto the notebook in his grasp. He looks at you with a 'how dare you' expression all over his face, making you roll your eyes and take the notebook back.

The back and edges are too late to be saved, but everything he'd written can still be read.

"Thank you." Your tone is genuine and grateful as you press a soft kiss on his cheek, making him turn his head away in embarassment.

You lean on his chest, reading aloud the hundreds of notes and tips he had written, asking him to explain what he meant and why they're important.

"I just want to keep you safe." He mutters, squeezing you tightly.

"If I'm with you, I'm always safe, my love. You don't need to worry." You scratch his nape before you resume reading.

"No wonder I'm still safe, I've always had you with me." You chuckle as tears continually stream down your cheeks as you press the notebook onto your forehead. Your chest feels like it's about to cave in on you and your breathing has turned ragged.

"Fuck you, Bakugou!" You yell weakly, bending over the box as your tears drip on the remaining items inside. Your hands shake as you spot a picture frame with its back facing you. You flip it over, and it's a picture of the both of you during graduation.

You hold a boquet of flowers to your chest as Katsuki holds you. A wide smile stretched across your face while your boyfriend sports the 'i-can't-believe-this-is-my-girlfriend-look-at-her-!' look.

But as you inspect the photo, you notice that the glass is missing and that there's a slight incline with the photo. You quickly turn it around, undoing the back.

An old folded up paper.

I’ve never been great with words, but for you, I’ll give it my all. I’ve been thinking a lot about us lately, and there’s so much I want to say, things I never imagined I'd be able to express.

First off, thank you. Thank you for sticking with me, for seeing something worth loving in me when all I ever showed the world was anger and ambition. I know I can be a handful—loud, brash, and sometimes downright difficult. But you, you’re different. You’ve always seen past that exterior, straight to the heart I tried so hard to hide. You’ve softened me in ways I didn’t know were possible, and I’m grateful every single day for it.

When I’m with you, it feels like everything falls into place. Your laugh, your smile, the way you look at me with those eyes full of trust and love—it’s all more than I ever thought I deserved. You make me want to be better, not just as a hero, but as a person. I find myself wanting to do things just to see you smile, to make you proud.

There’s this feeling I get when I think about our future. It’s like a fire, but not the kind I’m used to. It’s warm, comforting, and it grows every time I imagine us building a life together. I can see it so clearly—a home filled with laughter, late nights talking about our dreams, and mornings waking up next to the love of my life. I want that with you more than anything.

I’ve never been one to shy away from a challenge, and loving you is the best challenge I’ve ever taken on. It’s not always easy, but it’s always worth it. You’re worth it. Every single day, I fall a little more in love with you. And I can’t wait to keep falling for the rest of my life.

I want to marry you soon, my love. I want to stand by your side through everything life throws at us, good and bad. I want to make you laugh when you’re down and hold you when words aren’t enough. I want to be your partner, your protector, your everything. Because that’s what you are to me.

So here’s to us. To the love we’ve built, the dreams we share, and the future I can’t wait to start. Thank you for loving me, for believing in me, and for making me the happiest man alive. I love you more than words can ever say, and I promise to spend every day showing you just how much you mean to me.

Forever yours,

Katsuki

If you could, you'd hit him right now. Your sobs break through your lips, heart clenching in agony. If you could, you'd hunt him down and run back into his arms, tell him you love him, tell him you need/ him back. Your shoulders rise and fall as your wails of sorrow echo throughout your attic. You clutch the letter and photo to your chest tightly.

Sometimes, you hate being so strong. Sometimes you wish you were weak enough for the littlest of breezes to break you, so you can rebuild yourself and start over again. But somehow you widthstand everything the universe throws at you. And you hate it.

"Please take me." You gasp, too tired and weak to scream some more. You look up into the sky through the window, "Take me like you took him, and it will end the suffering I give to others."

At the end of the day, after you lost the one person who truly knew you, you became the one thing he fought for—the one thing he hated.

You're to take over the league once your son of a bitch father finally croaks. And the day that happens, you're destroying everything he spent his life creating.

[bloodymiso]

★ library gossip! anthony lockwood x gn!reader

in which you discuss the latest magazine gossip with the world’s best drama queen—apples at hand.

notes: idk how the farts i whipped this up faster than my haikyuu hcs but whatever🔥🔥. | warnings: granny apple haters dni/j

imagine discussing the latest gossip with LOCKWOOD. his eyes were glued to his newly arrived gossip magazine as he took a bite of an apple, which he often forgets on the chair—something you noticed after sitting on a 2 day old rotten apple a few days ago.

you popped into the library, a book in hand. as you walked, you hit the shelf, too focused on your book to care. lockwood’s ears perked up and he tilted his head up to face you.

“woah, you okay there?” he chuckled. “anyhoo, did you know gina—yes, gina, got a divorce with her husband. crazy, right?” he said almost immediately after his last sentence, completely brushing off the past “topic” that he brought up. you listened in, closing your book, making sure you had the bookmark in the right place.

you couldnt help but be pretty well informed with whatever cock and bull lockwood read in his magazines, he talked about it all day, everyday. even on missions. ah, the mission on king’s road, you remembered it very clearly.

the type 2 visitor approached your figures, lockwood with his rapier up, doing his fancy wancy twirly wirly shit. it attacked and as it did so, you could see it’s features, rather clearly at that. his face was structured, his jawline rather clear, and his hair was pulled back neatly, like your average london rich kid—just ugly with half the flesh on his body burned off. both of you jumped out the way and as lockwood landed on the floor, you could practically see the lightbulb beside his head.

“merlin’s beard that guy is exactly how my magazine described the man martha had an affair with!”

“bloody hell lockwood, shut up!”

remembering that past mission, you chuckled, resting your arms on lockwood’s armchair(haha armchair for arms) , leaning on it. “why is everything about relationships and marriage in that magazine?” you asked, running your fingers through his hair. “your hair is so thin.” “come on lad don’t change the subject.” he rolled his eyes and continued.

“apparently, jeffrey—gina’s husband was having an affair with gerlie, the girl next door.”

“why is everyone having affairs?”

“dunno, adults are weird. anyway—oh do you want an apple?” he asked, grabbing a light green granny apple from his little basket. you nodded, relieving it from his hands, taking a bite.

your conversation lasted over an hour, and lockwood had devoured over 3 apples in that time period. if you were standing outside the door in that said hour like a weirdo(*cough* george*cough*) you would have heard laughter almost every 5 seconds.

his smile was so contagious, even a simple sneer caused your own lips to curve up in response. you loved moments like this, laughing your asses off over stupid stuff. you loved all the shits and giggles you and lockwood had.

you giggled as you looked through the pages, stopping at a picture of a couple—the man on the left weirdly resembling lockwood. you looked at him, and he looked at you. a cheeky smile rose to his face as you playfully slapped his cheek.

“are you thinking what im thinking?” he smirked, before he could continue the thought, you slapped him again.

“this is abuse! that could be us if you werent such a meanie.” he rolled his eyes like the drama queen he is, closing the magazine and crossing his arms. you chuckled, he was pouting.

“hey im not a meanie.” you pouted back, ruffling his hair. the smirk on lockwood’s lips never fading.

“guess thats us then.” he said, leaning back in his chair as he crossed his legs.

“i—nevermind, im a meanie.”

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[lemon-natalia]

Nona the Ninth Reaction - Chapter 31

quick note first of all, would anyone be interested in me also doing a liveblog for 'The Unwanted Guest' as well as these remaining chapters?

and after three books we’re back on the Ninth where this all started. Kiriona’s putting on a bit of a show with the ‘Home sweet home’ thing, but it really can’t be pleasant returning to somewhere she spent an absolutely horrible childhood trying to escape, and without Harrow no less

this might genuinely be the first time there has ever been a dog on the Ninth, i don’t really see the cult of goth priests being big on pets

‘then again, i’m not sure of John period’ yeah me neither, quite frankly even after a book which spends half its page time detailing his backstory i’m still unsure about what exactly his plans and powers are

‘a string of fairy lights wouldn’t have gone amiss’ honestly given Harrow’s general penchant for interior bone design, i think she could be persuaded if the fairy lights were made out of actual bone somehow

ohh holy shit there was a good moment while reading that description of Gideon surrounded by corpses with blood on her sword that i fully thought that she’d come back to the Ninth on some weird revenge mission and just straight up murdered Crux

‘My lady, you have come home to us … at last’ why is this making me feel things for Crux of all people. like he has no idea about Nona, or that Harrow’s lost in the River, or anything she’s been through at all. all he knows is that she left for the First, became a Lyctor, and never communicated or came home again

oh great we’re returning to possibly the creepiest part of GtN with the weird ‘devil’ things. between the duel of the Third and Sixth and possession of Colum Asht, the second half of that book is suddenly becoming very relevant again. while Nona’s been living in a combination slice-of-life/war drama, Kiriona’s life seems to have taken a sharp turn into zombie apocalypse novel. fun!

i’m very intrigued about the little pieces of John and Gideon’s relationship that we get here, notably i think (if i remember correctly) that this is the first time she’s mentioned him as ‘Dad’, seemingly completely sincerely, unlike calling him ‘Pops’ at the end of HtN. and apparently he falsely reassured her that the devils were confined to Antioch, but Kiriona seems to have fully believed him and sounds genuinely upset that he apparently lied about it

wow Crux literally cannot stop hating on Gideon even when he’s actively fucking dying. on one level i can admire the commitment but dude, this level of beef with a literal teenager is ridiculous

‘there was a figure there - dark robes with a pale face’ okay i really can’t figure out what is with the weird stalker figure here. is it Nona having a hallucination of Harrow? just a strange description of one of the nuns?

Pyrrha apparently painted a mint green nursery here a long time ago, i assume for Anastasia’s kid, which would explain the weird remark about helping deliver a baby back in chapter 10. also this implies a version of the Ninth which was at one point not quite so dedicated to the doom-and-gloom-bones-and-death aesthetic, which feels inconceivable to me

well hello Aiglamene long time no see, this is a slightly more welcome return than Crux at least. ngl i really wasn’t expecting to see all these characters from the beginning of GtN again, but it’s interesting to catch up and see how little has really changed there despite all the events of the series

ohhh my god. this is not how i expected a reunion between Aiglamene and Gideon to go. Aiglamene seems so genuinely shaken by the fact that she’s dead, and the fact that she’s apparently very angry at Harrow on Gideon’s behalf, like !! she definitely seems to care about Gideon a lot more than she ever actually let on to her

‘Nona was deeply horrified to see actual walk-around skeletons’ i think Harrow would be mortally offended that anyone in her body could find skeletons horrifying

actually yknow what i take back what i said in GtN about Palamedes, Paul should absolutely not be a therapist with this bedside manner

‘You can’t take loved away’ uh, excuse me for a minute i need to sit in a corner and cry my heart out for a moment. this moment really feels like a summary of a lot of themes in the whole series

ok the final nail in the coffin for my emotional wellbeing at the end of this chapter is that Pyrrha did actually get a birthday present, one that she’ll never be able to give her. here i am completely distraught over cheap moustache rides what have you done to me Tamsyn Muir

istg at least some part of Nona needs to live on. like c’mon Gideon died at the end of the first book and she’s still kicking, Nona can do it too. once again it is nearly the end of a Locked Tomb book and i am in severe denial about probably permanent character death

[toomuchracket]

my whole life, waiting for you: part 2 (ross x girlband gf!reader fluff)

you know where this is headed, you don't need me to explain!! if you do... read this first. enjoy <3

it's almost funny how calm the green room is. 

the atmosphere is a far cry from the manic, adrenaline and alcohol-fuelled hedonism that it was ten, fifteen years ago. adam is sat on the floor, facetiming his wife and son, chatting to the little boy about the murals the boys saw on their walk for coffee earlier. polly is beside him with her headphones on, watching something on her laptop, which rests on the coffee table. in the far corner, john, gabi, and jamie are battling it out on a mariokart race, and george - typical of him - is nowhere to be seen. he'd shouted to matty that he was just popping outside for something, but matty's curly head had been too engrossed in an essay collection to take in anything his friend had said.

ross is also reading, sat on the opposite end of the sofa from matty. well, he's trying to read, anyway - he can only focus on the words for a few seconds at a time, before they seem to start melting into illegibility on the page. it's not that it's a bad book, at all - in fact, he's actually really enjoying it - but it's making him think of you, and he's incapable of thinking about you without you completely taking over his mind. you recommended the novel, after all, and snuck your copy into ross's suitcase as a gift for tour with a "just so you don't forget to think of me".

as if he ever could.

the pages still smell like your perfume, a faint whisper of rose escaping into the air every time ross turns them. usually, he'd find it comforting, but today it's making the longing for you worse. he slams the book shut a bit harder than he means to, laying it down in favour of checking his texts from you - there's been nothing since your last message an hour ago, telling him you loved him and you'd speak to him soon.

matty looks up in mild concern as the book's covers meet. "shit story?"

"nah, just can't focus right now."

"fair enough," matty closes his own book and stretches, before curling up catlike with his head on the armrest of the couch. "how you feeling about tonight?"

crap. "alright," ross says, feeling anything but. "i'll feel better once we've soundchecked, i reckon. a bit more excited to go out there, y'know?"

"i'm the same," matty nods. "speaking of soundcheck, where the fuck is george?"

ross is about to shrug, when the man in question's famously impeccable timing kicks in; footsteps start to become audible through and towards the half-open door, george's unique laugh following it. following again is the smell of outside, freshly smoked cigarettes, and… your perfume? christ, ross really must be losing it.

and then you appear in the doorway.

your eyes dart round the room before locking onto ross's, and you beam at him. all the air leaves his lungs at once, and all thoughts except she's here leave his brain. in fact, all awareness of everything except your existence in the room totally abandons ross. he can't hear matty's cheerful cry of "HIYA!". he fails to register george and charli's presence in the doorway behind you. he doesn't even take notice of the sudden ground beneath his feet as he jumps up and runs to you. 

he's completely running on autopilot, which is why he automatically crashes his lips onto yours when he reaches you. no hesitation, no worrying about revealing your relationship to everyone else in the room… just the need to show you how much he loves you, misses you, needs you.

you kiss him back just as eagerly, wrapping your arms as far around his broad shoulders as you can. your level of awareness is marginally higher than your boyfriend's, and the gasps and shocked laughter and shouts of "WHAT THE FUCK" make you smile into the kiss. well, partially - just the mere fact you're actually kissing ross is enough to make you beam in itself.

ross breaks away first, reluctantly, just so he can breathe. but he keeps his forehead pressed to yours, big hands cupping your jaw as he smiles centimetres away from your mouth. there's silence - from the two of you, at least - for a second, save your deep breaths, you and him doing nothing but clutching each other and revelling in the closeness.

"hi, baby," you lean back to look at ross, and he actually thinks his heart might give out. the softness seems to sparkle in your eyes, your lips are slightly swollen from how hard he'd kissed you, and he thinks you've never looked more beautiful.

without warning or indication, ross lifts you into a hug, your legs wrapping around his waist out of habit as you shriek out a laugh. "hi, my love," he says into your neck, spinning you around excitedly and relishing in the way you giggle joyously. "missed you. so fucking much."

"so i've heard. s'why i'm here, angel."

"who?... ah," ross turns, so he can see george. "you?"

"me," george nods, then winces as charli elbows him indignantly. "well, us. we did this."

adam pipes up from his spot on the floor. "and what is this, exactly? i mean, i think i know, but the wife wants details," he waves his phone in the air, and from your vantage point of head-on-ross's-shoulder you catch a glimpse of carly on the screen (well, her hair).

"me and her both, hann," matty looks like he's going into shock, lying flat on the sofa with his hands latched on either side of his head - if either you or ross had been capable of noticing anything other than each other, you would have seen the way his jaw dropped when you kissed, and how he'd slid into his current position with a hushed chorus of repeated "what the actual fuck"s. he looks up at you, wide-eyed. "is this… a real thing?"

you nod as best you can without chinning ross. "the real deal. true love, i'd say," you tap your boyfriend's back, and he turns so you can both look at matty; you gently turn ross's head so he can look at you first, though. "that's a safe assessment to make, right, my love?"

"and an accurate one," ross kisses your nose, then turns to his best friend. "yeah, mate, she and i are pretty much settled now."

"the plan was to tell everyone after tour finished," you chime in. "because neither of us wanted the relationship to take the focus away from your music, or mine…"

"...but i got too emo last night and blabbed to george about how much i missed her," ross smiles, cheeks taking on the slightest hint of pink. "and here we are."

there's a vague chorus of awwws from around the room, and through adam's phone, but matty still seems to be processing. "what about your bandmates? do they know?"

thankfully, there's no hint of accusation in his tone, only curiosity. you exhale a breath you didn't realise you were holding. "they only found out this morning, when i told them i couldn't come to the studio today because of a boyfriend emergency. and don't worry, matty," you say, as you see your friend begin to open his mouth. "the album's done. completely. the label overestimated how long i'd need to make it perfect. we were just going in for free tea and biscuits today, to be honest."

ross chuckles, squeezing you even tighter to him, while the room erupts into laughter behind you. matty rolls his eyes, but smiles. "you're so chill it's unbelievable. christ, the two of you are perfect for each other. i can't believe i never realised that."

"matty, shouldn't they start an onlyfans?" charli shouts, around you. adam collapses into giggles, phone nearly falling from his hand - luckily, polly (also laughing) catches it before it hits the ground.

ross winces. "are you still going on about that?"

matty follows suit. "for fuck's sake, charli. no! christ," he shudders, while charli sighs in despair. "you do look hot together, though. really hot. any kids you have would be- oh my god, you need to have kids. please? just one? imagine how musical they'd be!"

charli cackles, grabbing your arm. "babe! didn't i say he'd say tha-"

"right, i think we should all shut up now, and get on with the day, yeah?" george says, deep voice taking on an authoritative tone that ross is secretly thankful for. "soundcheck, let's go."

your boyfriend pecks your lips and puts you back on the ground, as everyone begins to wrap up their activities and head to stage. before a mass exodus from the green room begins, matty puts a hand on your arm and speaks. "i've just got one more thing to say."

"did you just quote your own song?"

"shut up, i didn't mean it," he blushes, while ross snorts. "wanted to ask you something about the show tonight."

"right."

"would you come on and sing with us? you can say no, obvs, but you know how much i love your voice. i'd be really honoured if you agreed."

your friend's quiet earnestness is touching. although it's an unexpected request - you know the boys haven't been involving guests on this tour like they did previously - it's not an unwelcome one. and judging by the way ross hugs your waist tighter and smiles into your shoulder, you think he likes the sound of sharing a stage with you for the first time too. you grin at matty. "about you?"

matty nods. "polly's soloing jesus christ 2005 tonight anyway. prime opportunity for you to have a moment of your own."

"she's soloing- fuck, i'm going to cry," you bring a hand to your chest, and polly laughs and blows you a kiss. "alright. i'll do it."

the boys on either side of you hug you in excitement, and your heart glows. but you're not finished. "if…"

"yeah?"

you turn to your boyfriend. "if i can wear one of your scotland tops while i do."

matty laughs, while ross leans down to kiss you. "course you can, love," he murmurs against your lips. "i'd like that a lot, actually."

"so it's settled, then. i'll sing," you peck ross again, and drag him and matty towards the door. "let's go and practice now, so i don't show you all up."

***

as it turns out, if you angle yourself just so behind the house set onstage, you get a pretty good view of ross through the sheer curtain on the window. mic in hand and ready to go, you sway softly on your high heels as the outro to me begins, keeping to the side so you're not blocking matty's route down from the roof to the front door.

the song ends, and you tap your free hand on the opposite wrist in a sort-of clap as the audience applauds; you pair it with a smile towards your friend as he comes into view, and a laugh as he bows dramatically.

matty pulls you into a half-hug. "i'm excited. you feeling alright?"

"yeah, i'm good," you squeeze his (tiny, really tiny) waist. "actually, i meant to ask earlier… can we stand near ross for the outro?"

your friend smiles, the significance of the action not lost on him. "course we can," he looks up as the familiar music begins. "see you out there, bestie."

with a wink, he opens the door - leaving it ajar for you - and you're alone again. you do your usual pre-show routine, tugging at your skirt so it sits right and fixing your hair a final time, and just wait for the end of the first chorus. ducking under the window to keep your presence a surprise to the crowd as long as possible, you get into position, and step across the threshold onto the stage when matty and polly (doing the backing vocals at the start to throw everyone off the scent of your big reveal) sing the title of the song.

the roar from the crowd when you step out - and presumably, when your face and name appear on the screens - is so loud you can feel it through the stage, so loud that you can't help but grin at the sea of faces as you walk onstage. john playfully nudges you with his shoulder as you pass him, and you make a point of waving at the two g's on drums when you walk by, singing.

when you get to the internal door, though, you can't help but milk the moment a little; you take your time walking through, looking and smiling at the light in wonder, winking at jamie and polly giggling at you. matty's waiting to lead you down the stairs - not for the bit, but for practicality, given your heels - and you have a little group hug with him and adam when you reach the lower level. it's sweet. it's fun. it's comfortable, even though you're performing without your band for the first time in front of thousands of people, who may or may not like you, or even know who you are.

through it all, though, you can't stop yourself looking to stage left, to your smiling boyfriend, the love in his eyes evident even from where you're standing. during the second chorus, you walk to ross, tiptoeing to rest your head on his shoulder from behind him, exactly the same way you do while he makes dinner for the two of you in your flat. he seems to be thinking about that, too; almost on instinct, he turns to kiss your temple, a feather-light brush of lips and skin that nevertheless sends sparks shooting through your body. 

the crowd puts two (that kiss) and two (your - his - top) together, and goes insane. they have the good grace to lower the screaming somewhat during your solo, which you sing centre-stage, matty's arm around your shoulders and yours on his, and then they dial it back up to eleven when you both wander back over to your boyfriend. you know you're looking at ross lovingly, dreamily, adoringly, but you can't hide it.

you don't want to, anyway. he's yours, you're his, and you don't give a fuck who knows or doesn't.

clearly, ross feels the same. after matty urges you to take a bow during the outro (and urges the audience to "please give it up for my honorary little sister"), then hugs you with a "thank you, darling" before running off to make it to the b-stage, your boyfriend rests his head on top of yours as he finishes playing. it's such a tender action, and for a brief second you forget you're onstage, not sat in your living room writing new stuff together and larking about on your instruments. but then the crowd starts up the applause again, and you remember. as ross hands his bass to joel, you take another bow, waving at the excited faces before ross takes your hand and leads you offstage.

his arms are wrapped around you before you've even fully opened your mouth to talk; you close it, and your eyes, and just breathe in the moment (and the home-y scent of ross's aftershave). ross speaks first, anyway, hand on the back of your head stroking your hair. "i am so proud of you."

"oh, stop it, i do it all the time," you laugh. "but i'm proud of you, too. i love watching you play. it was lovely to get the chance to see it up close."

"i love you," ross leans back so he can look at you as he says it, punctuating the end of his sentence with a soft kiss. "thank you. for coming up here, and for doing that. it was a lot of fun - i know we all thought so."

"i love you, too. so much. and these muppets you call bandmates - they're a pretty good bunch."

"they're irritating me now, though."

"why, baby?"

ross smiles, a very honest lifting of cheeks and curling of lips. "just haven't gotten you all to myself today, s'all. they've always been around."

it's not necessarily a suggestive statement, but there's an underlying hint of something in ross's words; you try to respond with an equally ambiguous statement. "well," you begin, thumb stroking your boyfriend's cheek. "all you need to do is finish the show, and then we can hide out in your hotel room, completely uninterrupted, for like twelve hours. sound good?"

"sounds amazing, love," ross sighs, kissing you again. "i really have missed you. don't really want to let you go and go back onstage, to be honest."

"i'll be right here cheering you on the whole time. screaming your name and everything."

"oh, i like the sound of that."

"cheeky."

[i-am-baechu]

Summary: Everything was perfect until it wasn’t. Y/N and Jungkook love each other but when familiar and new faces come into their lives, things get complicated. On top of that, a surprise that truly shakes their plans for the future. Will their relationship push forward or will Jungkook lose his fangirl once and for all?

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Chapter twenty-nine: David

→ Genre: Idol au, established relationships, girl group stan au, social media au, K-pop fan page au, romance, angst, comedy, and smut

→ Main pairing: Idol! Jungkook x Fan girl! Reader 

→ Side ships: Yoongi x OC & Jin x OC

→ Warnings: Explicit language, smut, mature themes, alcohol usage, anxiety disorder, stalking, and obsessive behavior

⇜ Masterlist ⇝

Y/N glanced up to her ceiling and she felt her whole body go numb. How did he get her number? She knew that was a stupid question because she knew he was obsessed with her.  She looked down at Jungkook to see him playing on his phone on their bed and she bit her lip, “Kook...”

He glanced up and raised his pierced eyebrow, “Yeah babe?” 

“David texted me.” 

He shot up from his side and glanced at her phone, “Don’t answer him.” 

“He wants to meet up with me.” 

Jungkook shook his head, “Baby we-”

“You can come with me and if anything happens we can call the police. This could be a breakthrough we need.”

“I’m not putting you in the same room with him.”

“Come with me. You can sit with me.”

Jungkook let out a dark chuckle and glanced down, “I can’t go to jail for a piece of shit.”

“Kook...I think we should do it. I know you might think I’m stupid-”

“No, I don’t. I just think you're too forgiving for a piece of shit.” 

She sighed and glanced down at the blanket, “I know but maybe we can finish this, please.”

Jungkook sighed and rubbed his finger through his hair, “Fine but I request one thing.”

She nodded her head and looked at him with curiosity, “Yes?”

Jungkook leaned towards her and placed a quick kiss on her lips, “We fuck in the living room.”

She sighed and looked away with heat creeping up, “F-Fine.” 

“He wants to meet by the park.” 

“I hate that he knows there’s a park near our house.” 

Y/N and Jungkook left their house with nerves. Jungkook held her hand tight and rubbed her knuckles lightly. He knew she needed this for her mental state but he doesn’t know if he could control his anger. This man was the reason why they had so much hardship in their relationship and now he wants to make amends. How the hell can someone be that selfish and evil? 

They made it to the park and Y/N saw him sitting at the end of the park. She stopped walking and Jungkook looked down at her, “Baby, are you okay?”

“I-I-I don’t know. This is stupid...I’m meeting with someone that ruined my life. We should go back.”

Jungkook sighed and kissed her forehead, “Let’s just do this. We’re already here. It will be okay. Again, I can’t go to jail.”

She let out a small laugh and kissed his chin, “Okay.”

They walked towards him and Jungkook glared at him with pure hatred, “David.”

David glanced up and Y/N felt her heart stop. She can’t believe she’s meeting up with him after everything he did. The last time was through text but this time she needed to do it face to face, “Y/N-”

“Don’t say her name.” 

Y/N glanced up at Jungkook and then back at David, “What do you want David?” 

“We should go to the tables.” 

Jungkook brought her closer and she held onto him as tight as she could as they went to the pale green tables. The only light that was guiding them was the street lights but she wished they had more lights to give her comfort. They sat across from David and Y/N just stared at him with a look that Jungkook had never seen before on her face, “David, why?” 

David glanced at Y/N and then at his lap, “I love you-”

“You don’t love me. This isn’t love. This is just pure obsession and you want to control my life and now your sister is involved. Why is she even involved?”

Jungkook rubbed her knuckles and looked at David, “You made Jennie do your wrong doings? How selfish can you be?” 

David sighed and looked at Y/N, “My sister wanted Jungkook. She worked with one of the managers and she fell in love with him. You helped her with a file. She got fired because she kept sneaking in during practice-”

“That was your sister? You’ve been involved with my life for too long.”  

“When she found out you were dating Jungkook, she lost it. She was mad that you took him from her and when I told her that I was friends with you, it became her main goal. She was the one that broke you guys up the first time. I was upset that you were dating Jungkook but Anne was the one that pushed me to do everything.” 

Y/N shook her head and looked away from him, “You were like this before Jungkook...” she looked back at him as David looked away from her eyes, “What’s your excuse for that?” 

“I told you I love you.”

“You don’t love me.” 

“After everything, Anne became insane. She was putting you in danger and I never wanted you to get hurt, Y/N. I begged her to stop and she didn’t listen to me. I don’t want you to be in pain anymore. I want to give you our address so we can end this. Anne was going to post your address and even your workplace to make people attack you. After your post from yesterday, she lost it. She broke a desk and was screaming...I want to save her from herself.” 

Y/N glanced at Jungkook and then at David, “I should hate you. You destroyed everything. I should hate you but I can’t. I can’t justify but maybe understanding can help me feel relief from anger, injustice and even hatred itself. However, all because I can explain it doesn’t excuse your actions. What you did was horrible. You tried destroying my relationship and life all because you wanted me. That’s not love.”

“I feel bad-”

Jungkook scoffed and shook his head, “You feel bad? Did you feel bad when we broke up because of you?” 

“At the time I didn’t feel it but now I do.” 

“You only feel bad because your sister is losing herself.” 

“Y/N, that’s not true.”

She slammed her hand on the table and glared at him, “It is true. You only cared when you saw Anne like this. You wanted me to break up with Jungkook because you thought you had a chance with me. You only cared when it was affecting you. Don’t try and play the victim or whatever this is because it’s not going to work. Just give me the address so we can end this.”

“Y/N...I’m sorry that this happened. Please know that.” She didn’t say anything and watched him write an address in his notebook. She glanced at the notebook and she felt sick to her stomach. It was her old notebook from college that went missing one day. He had it. Of course he had it. He handed her the piece of paper, “We can end this now.” 

“Yeah, we can. You do know you're going to jail.”

He nodded his head and shrugged his shoulders, “I knew this is how it was going to end. I never thought my sister would be this bad though. Going to jail can help her.”

“It can help you too. I know it will help me.” 

David glanced at Y/N and Jungkook wanted to punch him. The way he looked at Y/N made him feel sick. It was wrong, “Y/N, please know that I never intended for you to get hurt.”

“You were hurting me. I don’t think you realized that. You hurt me emotionally. I lost Jungkook because of you and all you see is me getting hurt physically. Do you not see how you damaged me emotionally? I had to go to therapy every week because I tried killing myself. You made me feel like I was going crazy. Do you not see that it hurts?”

“I-”

“You don’t because all you see is what you want. You don’t care if I get hurt emotionally. You wanted me to be at my low so you could save me. You wanted me to be hurt. Don’t say sorry for something that you wanted because it makes you look like an idiot. You're only sorry because your sister is losing herself and you hate seeing her like that. This is the only reason why you wanted to do this. Don’t worry, we’ll get her to jail. You’ll be in jail too. Away from me.”

“Y/N, I do feel bad that I hurt you. I didn’t realize it until recently.” 

She wanted to hit him but she wouldn’t because he wasn’t worth it, “That’s the problem here, David. You just saw it as your gain. This conversation isn’t going anywhere. The cops will be by your house tomorrow. Goodbye.” 

Y/N stood up with Jungkook following her. He turned around and glanced at David, “I want you to know, you're lucky that Y/N was here. I would’ve killed you myself.” and with that he walked away leaving David looking down at the grass beneath. 

Jungkook ran towards Y/N and stopped her by grabbing her wrist, “Y/N, are you okay?”

She turned towards him with an unsure look and nodded her head, “Yeah...I will be when he goes to jail.”

“And he will. I love you so much.”

“I love you more.”

He chuckled and shook his head, “Impossible.”

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Tag List:

@agustdpeach @mdavt @aloverga @drissteele @xngelsau

[starogeorgina]

𝐇𝐞𝐥𝐥𝐟𝐢𝐫𝐞

Pairing: Joel Miller x reader

Warnings: Swearing, mentions of child death, blood, smut, mentions of cancer, age gap, use of y/n

1.01

Exhausted, you snuggle up on the faded green couch, your freezing feet covered by worn-out socks and a wooly blanket. The sound of gunfire and screams in the distance is muffled by the heavy rainfall battering against the windows. Settled down, you open the romance book you found a few days prior while savaging and opening it. The pages were ripped and stained, but it would be an escape from reality, one that you desperately needed. A few hours later, you're so engrossed in the story that the sound of the door of your apartment creaking open catches you off guard.

You glance up, your heart racing, as you see a shadowy figure enter. You reach for the handgun sitting on the side table and aim it at the person. “Take one more step, and I’ll blow your fucking head off.”

“Shit, it’s y/n, right?”

You almost shoot the intruder, but don't when you sense a familiarity about them, it was Tess’s partner in crime. “Texas, ain’t it?”

“Joel will do. Mind lowering the gun?” As the intruder steps into the light, you recognize him as your older sister's friend. Relief washes over you, but it's quickly replaced by irritation when he dangles a key on the edge of his finger. “Tess gave it to me. She told me to let myself in.”

You lower the gun and place it into the holster on your belt, then get up and snatch the key from him. “Mind telling me why she gave you the key to our home?”

He rolls up his sleeve, showing you the deep cut on his arm. “She said you could help patch me up... I can go—”

Of course Tess sent him to you; she had a tendency to volunteer you as a first aider for her criminal buddies. Scoffing, you grip his arm to get a better look at the wound. “It’s deep; you’ll need stitches. I don’t have any numbing cream left, so it’s going to hurt like hell.”

“I can survive a little bit of pain.”

—

As you carefully clean the wound on Joel's arm with a damp cloth, you can't help but feel the weight of responsibility on your shoulder. Your medical supplies were starting to run low, and with more bombings than before, you’d definitely need to get some more soon. And Tess sending strays to your door wasn’t helping.

Joe winces as you gently probe the wound, his muscles tensing under your touch. He looks at you with eyes filled with gratitude and a touch of pain. He holds a torch with his free hand so you can see what you are doing without drawing attention to your apartment with a brighter light on.

“I don't know how to thank you,” he says hoarsely, his voice barely above a whisper.

You shrug. “It’s fine.”

“Tess is always looking for supplies to bring back to you. Did you work in medicine?“

“This is going to hurt,” you say, before punctuating the first bit of flesh on his arm with the tiny needle. “You smuggle guns and drugs with my sister, right?”

Joel grits his teeth and nods.

“Me and Tess have both picked up extra work over the next couple of weeks. If I write a list of things I need, would you be able to get them for me?”

When he doesn’t respond, you look up and see how tightly his hand is squeezing around your torch. Sighing, you take the torch from his free hand and pop it between your lips. A few moments later, you’re finished, and you tie off the ends of the stitches.

“Fuck!” Joel lets out a noise of relief. “That hurt more than I thought it would.”

“Meaty part of the body,” you shrug.

Joel studies the stitches in his arm for a few seconds, then carefully rolls his sleeve back down, then stands. “Thank you. I'm burning infected in the morning, but you can slide the list underneath my door, and I’ll try and get you what I can.”

“Cool. You can let me know how many ration packs I owe you once you’ve got them.”

—

Soon as you walk into your apartment, you peel your top that’s sticking to your body with sweat over your head. You sniff it before tossing it onto the heap of dirty clothing on the floor. You glance over at Tess, who is watching with an amused expression on her face.

“What?”

“Not smelling like roses, huh?”

“I smell of sweat, smoke, and piss.” You walk by her into the small kitchen and start to boil some water. “Anything else you want washed?”

Tess shakes her head. Washing was a luxury you didn’t always have, but since the generator was working in your building, you’d take advantage of the opportunity while it was there. Once the water was boiled, you’d pour it into the bathtub, wait for it to cool down, then clean your hair and body, then wash the pile of dirty clothes. The color the bath water would turn afterwards would no doubt turn your stomach.

“Joel stopped by earlier,” she says, holding the cup of shitty coffee close to her lips and breathing in its smell. “He got the first aid kits you wanted.”

“Thank god, I had hardly anything left.” You open the door to the cupboard you keep your ration packs hidden behind a slab of wood. “What did he want for it?”

“Nothing.”

You snap your head up to face her. Nobody does anything for free these days. “Come again?”

“He says your square is for stitching him up.”

“Oh, that’s good,” you say.

A small smile pulls on your lips; at least you got to hold onto your ration packs for a little longer.

“What’s with the blood?”

You look down at your stomach and see the dried-in red patches. “It’s not mine. A couple of FEDRA soldiers got into a scuffle, so instead of getting a real medic, they asked me to clean them up. Nothing major, just a broken nose and burst lip.”

She chuckles. “I did try to warn you that this would happen. You made your own bed the moment you spilled on working in a hospital in your past life.”

—

As you carefully clean the wound on Joe's knee, you can't help but notice the tension between him and Tess. When you arrived home, the two of them were arguing, but all you overheard was Joel saying Tess was getting greedy, and she thought he needed to toughen up before they noticed you’d returned.

Tess was already a teenager when you were born, so growing up, you idolized her and have never seen her as anything other than fearless, so her saying Joel needs to be tougher made you question what the hell they were up against.

The threats within the quarantine zones have been getting worse lately; the firefly attacks have increased, and with the sounds of screams echoing through the walls of your apartment building, you assume one of the men who died in the bombing a few hours before was important to someone in your building. Your sister is pacing the room, her face drawn with worry. She keeps glancing at the window, as if she can see beyond the grimy glass to the dangers lurking outside. You can tell she's afraid, but she won't admit it.

Not yet anyway.

Sitting cross-legged on the ground to get a better look at Joel’s wound, you casually ask, “So what did you cut yourself on this time, Texas?”

“Scraped it on barbed wire.”

“How did—”

“Don’t,” Tess hisses. “Don’t ask questions you don’t want the answers to.”

She was right to an extent; you didn’t really want to know what lawbreaking your sister was doing; it would only keep you awake at worrying about her. But a part of you wanted to know how Joel was involved. You wanted to know more about their relationship and if it was platonic or something more.

—

“Hey, can I ask you something?”

Although you lived with Tess, you hadn’t seen much of her over the past few weeks. One of you had either been working or sleeping while the other was home. Moving the bodies of those who had been given the lethal injection before turning from the back of a truck into a fire was the most time you’d spent together in a while. A grim job you’ve become all too familiar with.

“Fire away.”

“What’s going on between you and Texas? Are you guys dating?”

She scoffs, “Of course not. I don’t mix business and pleasure.”

“Fair enough,” you shrug.

The air reeks of smoke and ash as you heave another corpse onto the pile. Its limp form hits the ground with a heavy thud, sending up a cloud of gray dust into the air. The acrid smell of burning flesh fills your nostrils, making your stomach turn. You readjust the bandana covering your nose to keep the smell out, but it has little effect. You’d definitely need to scrub hard later to try and remove the smell of death from your skin.

Tess stares at you intensely. “Y/n...”

“I was just asking because he’s always at our place. I didn’t know if you two were seeing each other or planning out ways to dig yourselves deeper graves.”

In the blink of an eye, Tess is standing in front of you. She pulls her own bandana down so there’s nothing muffling her voice. “Let me be clear: I value Joel; he’s a good friend of mine. He’s the guy you want around when shit goes down, but he’s not a good person. Y/n, me, and him have both done unthinkable things to stay alive.”

“He’s the muscle; you're the brain.”

She nods slowly, “something like that. I don’t know Joel’s full story; he’s reserved.”

Before you can say anything else, another truck loaded with bodies pulls up. “Oh shit, it looks like it’s going to be a double shift.”

—

Joel appears at your apartment a few nights later, with an unopened bottle of whisky in his hand. “I heard you had a shitty day.”

Without saying anything, you open the door, letting him in. Tiredly, you rub at your eyes before getting two glasses from the cupboard. Joel opens the bottle and then pours the whisky into the glasses. You assumed the news of what happened earlier in the day affected him as well. Licking at your lips, you mumble, “It doesn’t matter how tough you are; the death of kids always gets to you.”

He takes a massive gulp before slamming his glass onto the table and pouring himself another. “Fuck, yeah.”

You go over to the couch, zip open one of the cushion covers, and pull out a packet of cigarettes. “Want one?”

“I don’t smoke.”

“Neither do I, usually.”

You pull out one cigarette, then tuck the packet away again. You only ever smoked while stressed: “Five kids, five fucking kids lives gone within seconds.”

A bomb was supposed to be planted underneath the death square where they hang criminals, but something had gone wrong, and the firefly transporting the weapon set it off early, killing himself and anyone in close proximity immediately, including five innocent children. Sometime passes before you finally speak again. “Tess told you about Michael, didn’t she?”

Joel nods as he comes and sits beside you. “She mentioned you had a son who was sick.”

“He was diagnosed with leukemia when he was two; he died just before his sixth birthday.”

“I’m sorry.”

You take another shot of your drink and say, “He’s the reason I became a pediatric nurse.”

“What about his dad?”

“Probably dead,” you snort. “Paddy, my high school sweetheart didn’t like the idea of being a teen dad to a sick kid so bailed.”

“That’s shit.”

You sink further into the couch. “What about Texas? What’s your story?”

“I’m going to need a whole lot more liquor for that.”

—

You and Joe huddle close together in the dimly lit room, the flickering candlelight casting eerie shadows on the walls. The whisky was going down far too nicely, as Joel told you how he married his ex when he found out she was pregnant, but after his daughter was born, his wife left one day, and he didn’t hear from her again until she sent him divorce papers. Joel’s daughter, Sarah, died at the start of the outbreak after being shot by a soldier.

“Who knew we had so much in common?” you whisper, your voice hoarse from the cheap whiskey. “But at least we don’t ever need to see our assholes ex’s again.”

A dark chuckle passes his lips. “You’re just always looking for that silver lining.”

As you both finish your drinks, you lean in closer to Joel, feeling the warmth of his body against yours. You close your eyes and imagine a different world, one where the outbreak never happened.

—

As the months went on, Joel would visit you more frequently; sometimes he had alcohol, other times he brought dinner. You tried not to look too much into the fact that he mainly came at night when Tess was on shift. Although he still spent time with her smuggling various items, he also liked spending alone time with you.

Your lips meet in a passionate kiss as you straddle Joel’s waist, tongues tangling as you both lose yourself in the moment. The tension between you has been building for far too long, and tonight you both have just enough adrenaline and whisky pumping through your bodies to give into your desire for him. Your hands roam over his body, exploring every inch of skin that you can feel. Your thighs are left bare as the long t-shirt you wear to bed rides up, and Joel grips on them tightly as he grinds up against you. The sound of your heavy breathing fills the room, mingling with the soft sound of the wind howling outside.

You pull back for a moment to catch your breath, locking eyes with each other.

You lean in to kiss him again, but Joel takes you by surprise when he gently pushes you off his lap and sits you back onto the couch. At first, you take this as a rejection until he starts kissing down your neck. He slowly kneels on the ground between your legs, his eyes fixed on yours, as he slowly pulls down your pants. You gasp as his hot breath teases your sensitive flesh, and then he takes you into his mouth. His tongue circles your clit, sending waves of pleasure coursing through your body. You arch your back, unable to contain the moans escaping your lips.

“You gotta be quiet; I can’t have you waking the neighbors now.”

The cocky smile on his face turns you on even more. You throw your head back, letting out a long, low moan as Joel's tongue teases your sensitive flesh. His hands grip your hips, holding you in place as he devours you. The world outside your rundown apartment fades away, replaced by the intense pleasure coursing through your body as Joel gives you the first of many orgasms that night.

[staplegxnn]

THE THIRD BEAT

(Reposts are appreciated, please do not steal, copy, or publish my work without proper credit.)

Tw: cussing, lots of juicy juicy angst

Headcannons: poppy does not like cussing (humor ensues), Barb is traumatized, Branch is a snuggly mf who loves his gfs with all his heart

Life was slow and messy for Barb after the whole “trying to turn everyone into rock trolls” thing. It wasn’t easy for her to make friends, some people still hated her, others went as far as teasing her and calling her names, it wasn’t something she could escape. But there was one escape…Poppy and Branch, Poppy was the queen of the pop trolls, a sweet and overly optimistic woman with a heart of gold and a love for glitter, and Branch was her pessimistic boyfriend, he was more chill and low energy than poppy was, but he was still all smiles and jokes. Poppy and Branch were Barbs absolute best friends, they didn’t judge her for anything, sure, Branch needed a bit more time before fully trusting Barb, but one he did, they were amazing friends. Poppy was certainly the closest to Barb, they could talk to each other for hours without getting bored, they did each others hair, they went on adventures together- they were absolutely inseparable.

Barb sat on the edge of her bed, sighing as she scribbled down some doodles in her notebook. She didn’t have anything to do today, Branch was out with his brothers and Poppy was doing some queenly shit that Barb would rather just not ask about- she had her own problems ruling her own kingdom. Barb laid back in her bed, looking up at her ceiling, she’d been staying temporarily in the pop kingdom for around a month now, since most of the rock trolls were helping re-construction of the other kingdoms, she honestly loved it there, it was bright and colorful, and sure- it was kind of not her vibe- but it made her happy nonetheless. Barb felt her hand grip around her pen, her notebook laying on her lap, she sat up and started to doodle again, it started with a head, then a body, some legs, some arms…Barb grumbled, she got up and walked to her desk, grabbing some other pens. Pink hair, pink skin, a blue and green dress…and pretty, hot pink eyes. Barb set her pen down, rubbing the paper and sighing, she chuckled, looking at the drawing.

“Poppy…”

Barb sat down in her desk chair, rocking it side to side as she flipped the page and started doodling again. Her heart thumped in her chest as she thought about Poppy, she looked to the picture on her wall of the two together, Poppy hugging Barb tightly, and Barb hugging back- she wanted that to happen again, she missed Poppy’s hugs when she wasn’t there. Barb looked back down at her paper, she drew poppy again, her smiling face and bright eyes, she closed the notebook, setting her pens aside, she took a deep breath and took the picture from the wall, looking down at it.

“Poppy. God damnit why can I not stop thinking about you….”

Barb heard a soft knock on her door, she set the picture down and opened it, almost having a heart attack as she saw the pink preppy princess standing right at her door. She stepped back.

“Ah! Poppy! Oh you’re here! I thought you weren’t gonna be back for another hour!”

Poppy giggled, hugging onto Barb and sighing.

“Ugh- the queen stuff was soooo boorrrrrinnnngg! So I snuck away to come see you!!! I- hope that’s okay-“

Poppy sat down on Barb’s bed, smiling at her. Barb nodded, smiling back and crossing her arms, trying to make Poppy’s hug last longer.

“Of course it’s okay. I’m always one for ditching.”

Barb sat next to Poppy, leaning on her a bit, Poppy leaned into her as well, the two of them falling back onto the bed and giggling. Barb looked at Poppy as she wrapped her arms around her, taking her in another big hug.

“I miss your hugs when you’re not around…”

Barb mumbled, looking up at the ceiling, trying to ignore her thumping heart and burning face.

“Awww! Barb!!! I miss you too. I wish I could come over here more often but I’m so freaking bussssyyyy- excuse my French.”

Barb laughed at Poppy’s remark, looking down at her and sighing softly.

“Eh, it’s fine, I can survive without you for most of the day. I just require like- 5 hugs per day.”

Poppy giggles, sitting up and tackling Barb, wrapping her arms around her.

“HAH! There’s number 3!!!”

Barbs face turned red, she laughed again her face now redder than the burning flames of a fireplace. Poppy noticed this, she tilted her head slightly.

Poppy, despite being busy, was a very devoted person to her friends. She had time for everyone, and everything, you could ask her to do a 4 hour long task during work hours and she’d find the time to do it for you. But most of her time was spent around two people, her boyfriend Branch, and her best friend…Barb. Barb was such a spunky woman, her personality was off the rocker and she was honestly so fun to be around, Poppy never wanted to leave her side half the time they were together, and her favorite times were when Branch, her, and Barb were all together, those were her happiest moments. Recently, poppy had been spending a lot of time with Barb, since Branch was busy catching up with his brothers, it was just the two of them most of the time, and the more that Poppy was around Barb….the more she started to notice little details about her. She always melted into hugs, she wasn’t really that snuggly, but when Poppy or Branch snuggled up to her she would cling right onto them, she always got a bit red when the two were around her…and most of all, the way Barb looked at her.

Barb looked up into Poppy’s eyes, tilting her head as well and chuckling.

“You okay there, princess?”

Poppy shook herself out of her trance, smiling and tackling Barb down into another hug, laying back on the bed with Barbs head on her chest, she melted into her like always, smiling and taking a deep breath.

“Yeah, I’m fine, just thinkin.”

Barb closed her eyes, her arms wrapping tightly around Poppy’s waist. Poppy gently ran her hands through Barbs bright red hair, it was soft and silky, and it shined like fire in the light.

“Whatcha thinkin about?”

Barb opened her eyes, looking up at Poppy with a smile. Poppy loved Barbs smile, it was one of the best things about her, it was crooked and toothy- and the most charming damn thing she’d ever seen, it reminded her of Branch’s smile.

“You and Branch, like always.”

Poppy giggled, ruffling Barbs hair. Barb grumbled playfully, turning over and pulling Poppy into an even tighter hug.

“I haven’t seen Branch in a while. Does he come home today?”

Poppy nods.

“Yeah, I hope so. I miss him.”

Barb sits up, smiling down at poppy and stretching.

“I miss him too. Let’s just hope he doesn’t bring his brothers around- cause I am not up for having like- 50 people in my house.”

Poppy giggles, laying her head down on Barbs lap. And there was that look again. Barbs gaze softened, her eyes half lidded, a spark firing deep within her pretty reds. Poppy adored it…it made her feel so special the way Barb looked at her, like she was the only woman in the entire world.

“Nah, I think it’ll just be me, you, and Branch. We could scrap book together!!!”

Poppy smiles widely, both hers and Barbs faces a bright red.

“Ah- scrap booking? Really?”

Poppy scoffs playfully.

“Yes really, you know you love it.”

Barb rolls her eyes, chuckling.

“Uh huh. Sureeeeee. Yeah fine, we can scrap book.”

Poppy squeals.

“YAYY!!!!”

She sits up, wrapping her arms around Barb and tackling her back onto the bed, laying down with her and closing her eyes.

“I love…-“

Poppy paused mid sentence, opening her eyes and looking up at Barb, that same look still in her eyes.

“H…hanging out with you.”

Barb smiled, sighing softly and looking up at the ceiling.

“I love hanging out with you too. I swear you and Branch are the only reason I’m even still in Trollstopia. I would’ve moved if I didn’t have you.”

Poppy gently plays with Barbs hair again, giggling.

“I’m happy you stayed.”

Minuets later, there’s a knock on the door, and Poppy immediately jumps up to go get it, swinging open the door and gasping as she saw who it was. Branch came rushing into the room, picking Poppy up and giggling.

“There’s my two favorite girls!!!!”

Branch threw poppy down onto Barbs bed, hopping up and giving Barb a big hug too. Barb giggled, her face flushing as Branch snuggled up to both her and Poppy.

“Oh you’re back Branch we missed you!!! Me and Barb were talking about scrap booking!”

Branch playfully rolls his eyes, just like Barb did.

“Really? Scrap booking?”

Poppy scoffs.

“You two are no fun!!! I’ll go get the supplies from my house. I’ll be right back!!!”

Branch leans in to Barb, whispering.

“Watch, she’s gonna take like a full fuckin hour.”

Poppy snaps back around and looks at Branch.

“LANGUAGE!!!”

Barb and Branch both laugh as Poppy closes the door and leaves. Branch sighs, wrapping an arm around Barb. Barb smiled and closed her eyes, wrapping her arms around herself and fidgeting with her leather jacket.

“So, anything new since I’ve been gone?”

Branch gently started playing with Barbs hair- that was one of the many things him and Poppy had in common, they liked playing with Barbs hair.

“Ah, not much. Poppy’s been busy with ruling, and I’ve just been kinda stuck here all alone until she gets done for the day.”

Branch frowns a bit, huffing.

“You could’ve told me, I would’ve come back sooner.”

Barb shakes her head.

“Nah, you were busy with your brothers. I can handle being alone…I was for most of my life anyway.”

Branch sighs, hugging Barb close.

“Well you don’t have to be alone now, you have me and Poppy. And we’ll never leave your side.”

As Branch said this, Poppy came back in the house, hopping up on the bed and snuggling right up to Barb and Branch.

“That’s right! We’re gonna be here forever and you’re gonna have to just deal with it!”

Barb smiled at Branch and Poppy, looking between the two of them.

“Ah- you guys are gonna make me blush.”

Branch chuckles, laying back on the bed and letting his head hang off the end of it.

“But you’re cute when you blush.”

Poppy nods.

“Very. I agree. BUT ENOUGH ABOUT THAT!!!! ITS SCRAP BOOKING TIME!!!”

Barb didn’t even have time to process what the two had said to her before she was dragged into the downstairs part of her house by Poppy, Branch following closely behind. Barb sat down on her couch as Poppy sat on the floor, getting out all her art supplies and clapping happily. Branch sat down next to Barb, putting his arm around her and yawning.

“Oh boy. Here we go.”

The next couple hours were filled with constant laughter and talking between the three, like always, it was the most fun they’d each had in a while, just making little paper cut outs, pouring glitter everywhere, listening to music and watching movies, it was great. By the end of the day, they were all 3 warn out, it was dark out and they’d been loud and crazy to their hearts content. Poppy sat on the couch next to Barb, leaning against her and groaning.

“Ughhhh- can’t we just spent the night? I don’t feel like going back home.”

Branch nods in agreement.

“Yeah neither do I.”

Barb chuckles.

“Yeah, no shit you can stay. Have I ever said no?”

Poppy yawns sleepily.

“Watch your-…language…”

She grabs a blanket, not even bothering to grab a pillow, just falling asleep on Barb, all snuggled up in her blanket. Barb sighed, chuckling as Branch sat behind her, covering the both of them with a blanket, Barb sighed, laying back against him and looking up at him. Branch smiled down at her, then he smiled down at Poppy, chuckling.

“She’s out like a light.”

Barb laughs.

“Yeah she is.”

Barb gently plays with Poppy’s hair, smiling as she laid against her, sleeping peacefully. Barb sighed, looking off into the distance for a second before speaking again.

“Branch? Do you guys ever feel like…I’m bothering you….? Like I’m intruding on your relationship…? I’m like- literally fuckin laying in between you two right now.”

Branch chuckles, shaking his head as he turned down the volume of the tv.

“Of course we don’t. Me and Poppy chose to have you around, and we wouldn’t have it any other way. Honestly, you make our relationship complete, without you it feels like it’s missing a piece.”

Barb blushed at the remark, fidgeting with Poppy’s hair.

“Does Poppy feel that way too?”

Branch nods.

“Oh absolutely! She loves you. Anytime us two are alone together one of us always brings you up, and that’s why we’re always around you, Poppy needs you just as much as I do.”

Barb paused, the room was silent for a moment as she thought to herself.

“Branch…do you…ever think…- maybe….”

Barb paused again, looking nervous. She shook her head and sighed.

“Never mind. Night, Branch.”

Barb laid back, closing her eyes and snuggling against the two. Branch chuckled, patting her on the shoulder and laying back as well.

“Goodnight, Barb.”

Barb was the last one awake in the morning, she felt the slow rise and fall of Branch’s chest against her head, and the vibration of Poppy’s voice against her ribs. She opened her eyes, smiling down at Poppy, who immediately smiled back at her and hugged her.

“Barb!!! Sorry if we woke you-“

Barb shook her head, sighing and looking up at Branch.

“Nah, you didn’t.”

Branch sat up, helping Barb sit up as well as he walked to the kitchen and started making all of them coffee. Poppy leaned against Barb, sighing.

“Branch told me that last night you were asking if you bothered us. And you don’t!!! You really don’t. We love having you around!!! To be honest we hate “alone time” cause we like it better here with you.”

Barb giggled, nudging Poppy playfully.

“Branch, were you talkin shit last night?”

Branch walked back in with coffee, handing Barb her cup.

“So much shit.”

Poppy gasped.

“Language!!! Thank you for the coffee, sweetie~”

Poppy took her cup from Branch, taking a sip and sighing. Barb stayed quiet as Branch and Poppy spoke to each other, she thought to herself for a bit…she didn’t feel whole without Poppy and Branch with her either, she felt like she needed them as well, she felt…like she was part of their relationship in some way. She shook herself out of it, finishing her coffee and walking to the kitchen to put her cup away. Who would ever love her like that? She was a crazy, off the walls, angry, terrible person- who didn’t deserve love, that’s all she could think about, and that’s all she thought of herself. Poppy looked over to the kitchen, seeing Barb just looking down at the counter as she fidgeted with her cup. Poppy stood up, walking up behind Barb and wrapping her arms around her waist, laying her head on her shoulder.

“I know that face. What are you upset about???”

Barb shook her head, sighing and rubbing her forehead.

“It’s nothing.”

Branch scoffed, standing up and leaning against the kitchen doorframe.

“Don’t say it’s nothing. We know you, it’s clearly not nothing when you act like this.”

Barb groaned.

“That’s just the thing. You guys know me, but…you know me too well! You shouldn’t be- hanging out with me like this- you should hate me! You both know what I did…you both know how I am and get you still chose to stay….why??? Because I said sorry once? Because I had a change of heart? You shouldn’t just- forgive me right away-“

Barb put her head in her hands, sighing softly.

“I don’t deserve what you guys give me…- and I never will.”

Branch and Poppy looked at each other, both pulling Barb into a big hug. Poppy cupped Barbs face in her hands, shaking her head.

“Barb. You deserve all of what you get from us, and more. You are a sweet, loving, adorable woman and i love the way you are! I don’t care about what you did in the past- you’ve clearly changed.”

Barb placed her hands over Poppy’s hands, looking at her the same way as always.

“But…I…I just worry that…I’m a burden to you.”

Branch shakes his head.

“You are not a burden. We promise.”

But a promise wasn’t enough for Barb, she gave the two of them a soft, and clearly fake smile, before sitting up on the countertop and huffing. Poppy burrowed her head into Barbs stomach, her arms wrapping tightly around her waist, Branch just sighed and hugged the both of them, looking up at Barb.

“Cmon, you believe us right?”

Barb shrugs.

“I don’t know….it’s…- hard to. I’ve had people lie about that stuff in the past- and with you two…- I…”

Barb sighs softly.

“It would hurt worse if you two were lying.”

Branch grumbles, rolling his eyes and picking Barb up from off the counter, slinging her over his shoulder. He took her upstairs, Poppy following closely behind, Branch plopped Barb right down onto her bed, grabbing her desk chair and sitting down across from her, Poppy staying standing.

“Alright Barb. Talk. Somethings up with you. I came home, we all had some fun, and now you’re suddenly upset, and I don’t like it when you’re upset.”

Barbs face turned red, she didn’t know what to say, and she was so focused on Branch that she didn’t even notice Poppy opening her notebook.

“Ah- it’s- it’s nothing, you know me, I’m always down about something.”

Poppy suddenly spoke up.

“Oh…Barb…”

Barbs heart dropped down into her stomach when she saw what Poppy was holding- she was in some deep shit now. Branch looked over Poppy’s shoulder, his gaze softening as he smiled, looking up at Barb, who was now face down in a pillow, seeming to be preparing for the worst.

“Barb, why didn’t you tell me and Poppy?”

Barb lifted her head.

“Hah??? Tell you what??? You must be seeing things!!!! There’s nothing in that no-“

Before Barb could finish her sentence, she was smothered in a big Poppy hug, her shoulders dropped and she took a deep breath, hugging her back.

“Sorry….”

Poppy lifted her head.

“Sorry for what?? There’s absolutely nothing to be sorry about.”

Branch nods, sitting up on the bed with the two.

“Poppy is right. But why didn’t you tell us sooner…?”

Barb shrugged, she had an answer, she didn’t think she deserved to be in a relationship, especially not with two amazing people like Poppy and Branch, but they didn’t need to hear that, they probably already knew.

“I…I guess I was just nervous.”

Poppy looked at Branch, and Branch back to Poppy, the both of them smiled and nodded, looking back at Barb and taking her hands.

“There’s no need to be.”

Poppy hummed in her sweet and soft tone.

“Because- we love you like that too.”

Barb sat dumbfounded in the lower floor of her house, staring dead forward at her blank tv screen. 2 weeks. That’s how long she’d been in a relationship with Poppy and Branch, it hadn’t hit her until just then, her heart sank deep into her chest, but before she could think about anything more, she was tackled and immediately smooched on the cheek.

“BARBBBB!!!!! Hiiii!!!! I missedddd youuuu!!!”

Barb giggled, kissing Poppy back and sighing.

“You went upstairs for 10 minutes, Poppy.”

Poppy sighs, sitting up and looking down at Barb.

“That’s too long without you.”

Barb sat up as well, only to be pulled into another kiss by Poppy, Barb melted into her, sighing softly and wrapping her arms around her waist, she closed her eyes, allowing herself to enjoy the moment. Poppy giggled as she broke the kiss, holding tightly onto Barbs hands.

“Gosh, you’re such a good kisser~”

Barb turned bright red at the remark, chuckling and tucking Poppy’s hair behind her ear.

“Ah- I’m not that good.”

Branch came up from behind Barb, kissing her on the cheek and hugging her.

“Nah, you are. Don’t downplay yourself.”

Barb hid her face in her hands, shaking her head.

“Oh stop it-“

Poppy giggled, pulling Barb into another hug.

“Nooooo~”

Poppy, Branch, and Barb all sat on the couch together, snuggling closely. Barb stared off into space again as the other two spoke amongst themselves. She couldn’t help herself, she was deeper in thought then she usually was, she wasn’t paying attention to anything except for the voice in her own head. Poppy looked up at Barb, running a hand through her hair and trying to catch her attention, kissing her cheek, cupping her face, everything she could- but Barb was too deep in her own head. Branch sighed softly, just leaning his head against Barb, and waiting until Poppy was asleep around an hour later to pull Barb aside. He gently helped Barb off the couch, wrapping an arm around her waist and walking out onto the back porch with her, and as soon as they got outside, Barb broke down into tears. Branch took her hand, his heart broke seeing one of the people he loved most in the world break down like this, he just held her in his arms, hugging her closely as she cried, he didn’t even need to ask her what has wrong, she started talking all on her own.

“Branch- I- I don’t deserve you, or Poppy…I’m a horrible fucking person. I’m loud- I’m heartless, I’m too closed off to say anything about it- I…I’m the opposite of you guys.”

Branch paused as he listened to Barb speak, he gently sat down with her, taking her hands in his and kissing her forehead.

“Actually…Barb, you’re exactly like how I was once…”

Barb looked up into Branches eyes, seeming surprised. Branch just nodded.

“Yeah, I know- hard to believe- but…I was closed off once too, I was scared, I was isolated, and to be honest…I was kind of an asshole. I didn’t think I deserved love either, but Poppy helped me see differently, she helped me realize and understand that no matter what…everyone deserves a little bit of happiness. And especially you do, Barb. You’re the second sweetest girl I know, and I love you.”

Barb smiled, tilting her head slightly and giggling through the muffled sound of her tears.

“Second?”

Branch shrugged.

“No one can be as sweet as Poppy.”

Barb laughed and leaned into Branch, closing her eyes and sighing, maybe she did deserve love, maybe this was her second chance…and maybe, just maybe- she could finally be happy once again.

[questforgalas]

Thoughts while watching Ahsoka Ep 5!!

There was a lot of yelling into my hands in just the first 15 minutes

WOWEEE we haven't event started to watch and we're already emotional because HAYDEN IS THERE IN ALL HIS ANAKIN GLORY ON THE HOME PAGE BANNER *sobs in prequel fan*

"Ahsoka confronts her past" we have still not even started and the episode description has me on the edge of my seat for the crumbs I'm desperate for

Yes those crumbs are live-action Rex. Don't worry I have my clown hat ready next to me.

Oh my god was that a clone trooper helmet???

Dear god i need to calm down

ANYWAY

Dave loves his samurai vibes

Jacen and Chopper will continue to make me emotional until I die

Hera and Din Djarin should meet about parenting styles

Jacen popping out behind Chopper

HUYANG WITH SABINE'S HELMET

"I told them to stay together" OH MY GOD I NEED TO GIVE HUYANG A HUG 😭

The title is "Shadow Warrior"?????? Fuck this is giving Maul crumbs

She's still so excited to see him oh my god I'm still not ready for this

"You look old" ABSOLUTELY FIRE OFF THE BAT SNIPS AND SKYGUY I'M CRYING

Oh my god we're getting live-action Anakin teaching Ahsoka guys we ARE GETTING LIVE ACTION PADAWAN AHSOKA AND MASTER ANAKIN

Is this like the ghost of christmases past but Star Wars?

"I'm here to finish your training" alright, now actually crying. Why do these two do this to me dear god Tay

"It's a little late for that"

Every time Hayden says "Snips" a year is added to my life

NO WHY ARE THEY FIGHTING

WHY IS THIS EVERYTHING I'VE EVER WANTED TOO

I desperately hope Hayden did all that saber work because that choreography was siiiiiick already and we just started

"We have no hope of following" USE THE PERGILL

How fucking funny would it be if Din and Grogu just showed up and Carson was like "This is my buddy I call whenever something weird happens"

Heyo love Jacen saying there's something about the water and then the little force trill plays when Hera turns

Let you weird force sensitive kid tell you about the water

Seriously, I feel like Hera and Din need to start a "force sensitive kid" parent support group. They're the only two members. It's just the two of them talking about the weird shit their kid pulled off

Ok yeah fucking cool with the lightsabers in the waves. You go Jacen!

"HIS FATHER KANAN JARRUS" WE HAVE LIVE ACTION CANON KANAN JARRUS LADIES AND GENTS OH MY GOD

LOLOLOLOL at Carson just going "Yeah ok fine whatever"

ANAKIN SABER TWIRL ANAKIN SABER TWIRL

Now that wasn't very nice Skyguy

Seriously, is this the night before christmas Star Wars edition because I'm here for it

THE FUCKING GASP I MADE WHEN THE CLONE TROOPER RAN OUT OF THE FOG

ARE WE GETTING LIVE ACTION CLONE WARS OH MY GOD ARE WE GETTING LIVE ACTION CLONE WARS

I'VE PAUSED THE EPISODE BECAUSE I'M SHAKING OH MY GOD OH MY GOD OH MY GOD OH MY GOD

OH MY GOD IS SHE IN HER CLONE WAS OUTFIT??????????

IT'S STILL PAUSED BABES I HAVEN'T MOVED FROM 12:42 BECAUSE I AM UNABLE TO HANDLE THIS SITUATION RIGHT NOW

Ok ok ok, hitting play

NEVER MIND WE ARE PAUSED AGAIN THAT IS 501ST BLUE I REPEAT THAT IS 501ST BLUE

ACTUAL TEARS ARE FORMING IN MY EYES THAT IS 501ST BLUE

LIVE ACTION CLONE WARS ANAKIN LIVE ACTION CLONE WARS ANAKIN

BABY SNIPS THAT IS A BABY SNIPS THAT IS A LIVE ACTION BABY SNIPS

THAT IS LIVE ACTION ANAKIN CLONE WARS ARMOR

OH MY GOD OH MY GOD LOOK AT HER SHE LOOKS INCREDIBLE OH MY GOD

We are only 13:22 into the episode and I've paused yet again because Hayden Christensen is in Clone Wars Anakin armor and I'm so overjoyed and overwhelmed by the site of it and there's baby clone wars snips right there and oh my god the jaig eyes are right around the corner I know it and I'm not ready

Her green saber 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

So help me if those jaig eyes show up

Hayden looks so amazing I'm so happy

SO HELP ME IF THOSE JAIG EYES SHOW UP IN A FUCKING MEDICAL SCENE

IT'S 15:06 AND HE'S SO FAR IN THE DISTANCE BUT HE'S RIGHT THERE HE'S RIGHT THERE ON MY SCREEN HE'S LIVE ACTION OH MY GOD

SHE'S JUST A BABY

THEY'RE SO SNIPS AND SKYGUY

"What if I want to stop fighting" "Then you'll die" ok stab me in the heart Dave that's fine

LOOK AT REX RUNNING INTO THE FOG WITH HIS DUAL BLASTERS

It was a crumb but it was the most scrumptious crumb

Oh fuck the flash to Vader DAM

I'm serious I would fucking die laughing if Din and Grogu showed up like "Hey, we're here to help the search party. Carson beeped us"

Errbody talking about Anakin this episode huh

"Intense" lol Huyang was not an Anakin stan

The Jacen-Chopper friendship is everything I needed without knowing I needed it

LIVE. ACTION. SIEGE. OF. MANDALORE?!?!?!?!?!?!?!? LIVE. ACTION. SIEGE. OF. MANDALORE??????????????????????????

We are 21:32 into this episode and I've had to pause (not exaggerating) 7 times to yell into my hands

LOOK AT HIM RUNNING AROUND IN THE BACKGROUND TAKING DOWN MANDALORIANS

HE LOOKS SO GOOD

We got past the clone wars flashback and I made peace with myself we wouldn't hear him speak but oh my fucking god what if he speaks now

Yes we're still paused, yes this episode will probably take twice as long for me to get through purely because of Rex sightings

OH MY GOD HE SPOKE

OH MY GOD IT'S TEM REX IT'S TEM REX

Why am I crying why does Star Wars do this to me

Hearing Temeura Morrison refer to Ahsoka as Commander in Rex's armor makes me want to cheer and cry at the same time

Awwww Hayden's Canadian came out when he said "about"

NOT BABY SNIPS FIGHTING VADER NO NO NO

Ok these fucking flash cuts to Vader's suit are fucking sick

OK DISTORTED HAYDEN AND VADER VOICE

YO CAN WE TALK ABOUT HER BRINGING THE SABER UP AND THE LIGHT REFELCTING IN HER EYES TO MAKE IT LOOK LIKE SHE TURNED SITH FOR A HOT SECOND HOLY SHIT

Bye Hayden I love you

Ok so this is the Star Wars A Christmas Story, you can't tell me otherwise

Mysterious goop rising up? That's a nope from me dawg

WE'RE ONLY HALFWAY THROUGH THE EPISODE???

Seriously holy fucking shit everyone say "Thank you, Dave" holy shit holy shit this is is Mona Lisa, this is his Last Supper, this is his Pieta, he loves these characters and Star Wars so much oh my god

WAH so jarring to see her without her little headpiece thing

It's like when Echo showed up in TBB without his Kama I was like "SIR YOU ARE NAKED" I'm having the same feeling with her

AHSOKA TAKE ON JACEN AS A PADAWAN TAKE ON JACEN AS A PADAWAN

"We were hoping you could explain what happened" well, ya see, we were stubborn per usual

She's so Gandalf the White right now

OH MY GOD TAKE HIM AS YOUR PADAWAN DAM IT

Yas force visions for the win

(WHERE IS QUINLAN DAVE)

Anyway

Like literally the Gandalf imagery is so obvious

USE THE PURGILL

My babygirl needs so much therapy I love her

USE. THE. PURGILL.

I swear if I was in Star Wars they'd all have their answers in 1/4 of the time

Ahsoka is so dramatic I love her freaking lineage so much they love overdramatic entrances my god

Oh hello Gandalf

She could honestly get me to do anything with her little side smile I love her so much

What a fucking love letter to Star Wars this show is

Carson if the friend of all friends. "Hey make sure the fleet doesn't get near us" "yeah sure I can do that" stalls said fleet via ridiculous chatter

Hera tells Jacen about Ezra 😭😭😭😭

Cannot wait to see all the cosplay of this fit of Ahsoka's, this grey and white is siiiiiiick

Would fly to wherever Dave Filoni is to shake his hand if it ended with the purgill just taking a chomp and thus killing them. Would be so freaking funny

Oh hello shot tribute to inside the asteroid worm in ESB

"No idea" I. FREAKING. LOVE. HER. THIS. IS. SNIPS. I'M. DYING.

Look at her learning her little Jedi lessons

"Jacen's too young to fly through galaxies" fucking mom of the year

THIS IS AN UTTERLY STUNNING SHOT?????

[candied-peach]

ao3: "gold and green in his ivory tower" rating: T warnings: platonic creativitwins, insecurity, touch starvation, crying genre: hurt/comfort description: Roman's not having a good day. Remus intervenes. (prompt from @oatmeal-stans-the-trash-rat : "If you're still up for prompts, may I suggest something with the twins? Perhaps Roman is having a very insecure day, and once Remus finds out, he hugs his brother and squeezes the life outta him (affectionately). Bonus points if Ro is touch-starved?")

Roman huffs an exasperated breath, rubbing his ink-stained cheek and trying to blink away tears that burn the corners of his eyes. The blank page in front of him glares at him, and he winces. He has no ideas for the next video. No good ideas, anyway. His trash can pays testament to that. Crumpled and torn pieces of scribbled-on paper make his stomach cramp.

Logan's going to be so disappointed in him. He already scarcely sees the use in Roman to begin with. Or at least, it feels that way. It stings, but he understands. They just...clash. And normally, that's okay. Normally he's got at least one useful idea. But this time-

Roman's vision blurs and he slumps in his chair, letting his pen carelessly drop to the desk. It's pointless. He'll just have to fake it in the meeting. The meeting that's in- he squints at the clock and his face pales. Ten minutes. He can do this. He can. It will be fine.

It's not fine.

Oh, he's bullshitting his way through. Trying to come up with something on the fly, but his brain feels painfully squeezed dry, like a sponge wrung out far past its lifespan.

"And that's why I thought we might enjoy doing a performance for the video," Roman concludes, his forehead sweaty. He swallows, glancing around at the sea of uncertain faces, and his heart twinges. 

"I don't know," Virgil says doubtfully. "I mean- what if Thomas messes up?"

"Then we can do another take," Logan suggests. "Unless you wanted to do this live, Roman? I do not think that a live performance would be the best of ideas."

"I-" Roman stalls. He hasn't thought this far ahead. "I don't know," he finally says weakly, knowing they are the wrong words, but not knowing what else to say.

"Well, it's an idea," Thomas says, and the doubt in his voice makes Roman feel like he's cracking apart at the seams. It's not good enough. It's not good enough and he knows that it's not good enough, but he doesn't know what else to say. Sorry guys, my creativity just wasn't up to snuff this week! He can't say that. He needs to do better. He needs to be better. He needs-

He needs a hug.

But he can't have one, especially not now, so Roman swallows hard and tries to tune back into the discussion. Patton's gesturing animatedly about some kind of kid show, and Roman doesn't have the heart to remind him that they've already tried out puppets, there's only so much in that arena they can discover. 

It's almost too much. Janus and Remus keep looking at him, especially Remus, and his brother is unnaturally quiet. That's never a good sign, and Roman keeps casting him sideways glances when no one is looking. Remus looks innocently back, eyes guileless and green, as he fidgets in his seat.

"I'm stealing Roman," Remus finally announces to the room, popping up and seizing Roman's elbow before he can react. "Bye for now!" And he sinks out, dragging Roman with him into Remus's bedroom. Roman wrenches his arm free, glaring at the other side of Creativity.

"What are you doing?" Roman demands. Remus eyes him.

"What's wrong?" Remus asks. Roman freezes.

"Nothing," he immediately tries to deny, and Remus scoffs loudly.

"Might not be Janny but I know that you're full of shit," he sing songs. "Come on, Ro Bro, tell me. Tell me, tell me, tell me-"

"I don't actually really have any ideas," Roman blurts out, breathing heavily. "Not- not this week, I just-" He sighs and glances down at the carpet stained with things he doesn't want to think about. "I'm a failure," he whispers.

"Nah," Remus says. "You're just a little burnt out, that's all." Roman's head jerks up as he stares, wide-eyed, at his brother.

"What?" Roman says dumbly. Remus nods, eyes glittering.

"Burnt out like a candle thrown into a hurricane," he says. "That's all. Just gotta tell the others you need to rest up for a while."

"They need me," Roman objects. Remus rolls his eyes- literally, making Roman's stomach turn.

"They do," Remus acknowledges. "But they need Roman. Not Creativity."

"I don't get what you mean," Roman says, a little stiffly. Remus grins, and his teeth are a little too sharp in the dim light.

"You're part of their fam-ILY or whatever the fuck," Remus says, flapping one hand. "Come on, Ro. You're more than what you can do, you know." Roman blinks in surprise. 

"You-" Roman trails off. He isn't sure what to say. Remus is surprisingly perspicacious. Not that he should have expected anything less. He knows his brother is more than dork jokes and over the top threats. Remus thrums with the vibrance of possibilities, no matter how dark or strange.

"Can I have a hug?" Roman finally asks in a small voice. Remus's grin widens.

"Thought you'd never ask!" He crows, and flops on top of Roman, driving him to the bed. Despite the 'oomph' of breath leaving his lungs, Roman enjoys the pressure of his brother sprawled across him, wrapping him in a warm, shockingly well-scented hug.

"Janus made you bathe today," Roman mutters. Remus makes a face.

"Yep," he agrees. "I'm not letting you go until you feel better, by the way. You're stuck with me."

Roman is okay with that.

[nabibeans]

Star-studded night

Summary: Seonghwa has always been a fan of K-pop idol, Kim Hongjoong. He admired that the idol was openly transgender and gay, not caring what the industry thought. After a concert one night seonghwa finds himself being asked to sign an nda by security. Why? Because Hongjoong finds him attractive.

Disclaimer: this is a smut fic, no minors! Cunt and pussy are used to describe Hongjoong’s genitals.

•

Seonghwa was excited to say the least, like; pee your pants excited. Currently he was standing in line, waiting for the gates to open to the venue for a concert he’d been waiting for his whole life. Kim Hongjoong was performing tonight, openly trans and gay K-pop idol Kim Hongjoong; Seonghwa’s role model!

He was beyond excited to see him, he’d tried many times and failed to buy tickets, but by some luck he was able to get in tonight with a few friends.

“Holy shit, I can’t believe we’re seeing the Kim Hongjoong! Seonghwa how are you not pissing yourself!?”

His friend Wooyoung shook him, his own eyes wide with excitement. Seonghwa only giggled softly, shaking his head at his friends behavior. In his head he was screaming like a little kid,

“Believe me I’m just as excited to see him! Gosh this is a dream come true! No more dancing around my bedroom and singing to posters, it’ll be the real him!”

Seonghwa swooned, placing a hand over his heart earning a giggle from Wooyoung. The door finally opened a few moments later, entering the venue Seonghwa’s eyes widened. The posters lining the walls of Hongjoong were beautiful, the decorations in the venue matched the artist personality and vibe so well.

“Wow, this is..so much better than online livestreams.”

He sighed breathlessly, Wooyoung nodded in agreement.

“Isn’t it! I hope Yeosang makes it before the show starts. It sucks that work is keeping him late, how did you manage to get off the hook so fast?”

Seonghwa chuckled softly, “told em I was throwing up all morning and having bad stomach pain.”

Wooyoung laughed, smacking his back gently. The pair made their way to their spots at the barricade, they’d be so close to Hongjoong. Seonghwa was already feeling dizzy at the very thought of being noticed by his idol, possibly even getting an interaction to upload to his twitter page. Wooyoung gently tugged Seonghwa’s arm, pulling him out of his thoughts.

“Look! Yeosang is here!”

Seonghwa waved to his friend who was making his way through the crowd, his neon green hair very noticeable under the blue lights from the stage. Once Yeosang made it to them he bowed in apology,

“Sorry I’m late, manager was a bitch and a half today. He kept making me clean shit that didn’t need cleaned, I’m just glad we’re all off tomorrow cause I have a feeling we’re going to be carrying a melted Seonghwa out of here.”

Seonghwa rolled his eyes, reaching into his bag to pull out his light stick, placing the batteries inside.

“Please I think I can control myself around the Kim Hongjoong.”

Wooyoung laughed, looping his arm with his boyfriends.

“Sure ya can! We will see how well you hold up during this concert, if you can survive you can third wheel Yeosangie and I’s date to Disneyland.” , “deal!”

Yeosang shook his head at both of them, he knew they’d both be screaming and jumping up and down as soon as the idol stepped on stage. He’d known them both long enough to be able to read them like open book. Suddenly the lights went dark, the music starting up signaling the beginning of the show.

Seonghwa’s breath caught in his throat, his wide as he watched the stage come to life. The second Hongjoong stepped out onto the stage his heartbeat began to speed up, he looked absolutely stunning. Light pink hair styled to be slicked back, he wore a purple stage outfit, decorated with his own personal touches. It was so perfectly Hongjoong. The idol smiled as he looked over the crowd,

“Are you guys excited for the show! I see some familiar faces, and a few new ones! I hope those of you that are new to my shows have fun! And don’t forget please be aware of your surroundings, don’t wanna accidentally hit someone with a light stick and cause injury. Now without further ado let’s get the show started!”

Hongjoong’s voice was music to Seonghwa’s ears, his eyes already glued to the idol as the concert began. He’d be starting with Take Me Home, one of Seonghwa’s personal favorites.

As the show went on Seonghwa found himself more and more absorbed into the music, the stage sets, but most importantly Kim Hongjoong. It was getting close to the last song, and Hongjoong was making his rounds around the stage interacting with the fans. The idols pink hair was messy now, drenched with sweat; his outfit from before being changed into something more comfortable and causal. When Hongjoong reached Seonghwa’s section he stopped just in front of the long haired male, smiling and holding out his hand.

“Seonghwa! He wants your bracelet.” Wooyoung whispered excitedly.

Seonghwa had completely forgotten about the bracelet he’d made, holding it tightly in his hand the whole time. Smiling softly he placed it in the idols outstretched hand, their fingers gently brushing together sent electric shocks up Seonghwa’s spine. A deep pink blush settling on his cheeks. Hongjoong took the bracelet, slipping it onto his wrist and mouthing a ‘thank you’ before moving on.

“Oh my god-“

Seonghwa’s knees buckled, holding onto the barricade. There was no way that just happened!? He just touched Kim Hongjoong’s hand!? No way!?

“Holy shit he’s totally gonna keep your bracelet on during the last song Hwa! He’s never done that before, he’s not normally allowed to take gifts. I bet you’ll get it back at the end.”

Wooyoung was vibrating next to Yeosang who nodded in agreement.

“Who knows, maybe you’ll get lucky and he’ll forget.”

Seonghwa blushed and giggled, his eyes drifting back to his idol. Hongjoong was so effortlessly amazing, his voice, his performance. Seonghwa almost didn’t want this night to end, he finally got to be close and see his idol in person.

“Okay, it’s time for the last song! You know…I was going to sing Treasure but, I think I’ll sing Star 1117 instead.”

Seonghwa’s eyes went wide. His favorite song? He was going to perform his favorite song!? As the song started Seonghwa’s eyes remained on Hongjoong, who he could have swore at one point met his eyes back.

•

Once the concert was over Wooyoung stretched his arms above his head,

“Damn! That was awesome! What did you think Seonghwa!? You went dead silent after you gave him your bracelet.”

Seonghwa shook his head, snapping out of the trance he’d been in. He’d barely noticed the people around them had began to leave,

“It was..a dream come true! I just can’t believe he took my bracelet! Oh my gosh my mind is just playing it on loop, I touched his hand!”

Seonghwa squeaked excitedly, the trio began to leave the venue. A security guard approached them stopping the group, “excuse me, the artist has requested you.”

Wooyoung and Yeosang both looked towards Seonghwa, whose mouth was hanging open. Hongjoong wanted to see him!? What for? To return the bracelet?

“Me? Did he say why?”

The security guard shook his head, explaining the idol gave no details. Just instructions to bring the guy he got the bracelet from to return it in person.

“Well alright, I’ll catch up with you guys in the parking lot. This shouldn’t take long.”

Seonghwa followed the security guard backstage, his hands shaking a bit. He was going to talk to Hongjoong! Even if only for a few seconds to retrieve his bracelet, it would mean the world to him either was to get the opportunity. Heading backstage a familiar voice was heard,

“Look I really want to do this, please don’t interfere. I’ve already taken necessary steps to ensure both our safeties.” , “if you’re sure Hongjoong. You have an hour use it wisely.”

Who was Hongjoong talking to? The second the pink haired idol spotted him he waved, walking over with a piece of paper in his hand other than the bracelet. In fact, it still sat on his wrist.

“Hello! My name is Hongjoong, but you probably know that. I loved your bracelet, I just had to take it! Did you make it yourself?”

Seonghwa nodded, suddenly at a loss for words. What was he supposed to say to him!?

“I’m Seonghwa, and I’m glad you like the bracelet. I did make it myself, specifically for this concert.”

Hongjoong nodded, gesturing to a table nearby, “let’s sit. I want to talk to you about something.”

Seonghwa nodded, following the idol to the table. When they sat down Seonghwa finally caught a glimpse of what exactly that paper was, in bold letters it read ‘Nondisclosure agreement’ at the top. He was going to sign an NDA!? For what!? Hongjoong cleared his throat, leaning in a bit.

“So Seonghwa; I don’t do this, like ever. So I want you to really think about what I’m about to offer you, you’ve probably noticed by now that I have no intention of returning this bracelet to you. In fact, quite the opposite. I’ll get straight to the point, I’m an idol; but I’m also a young man with..urges. What I’m saying is, I want to have sex with you.”

Seonghwa choked on his own spit. He wanted to have sex with him!? Sex with his idol would normally only be jerk off material but now he had a chance to actually do it!? There had to be a reason Hongjoong chose him specifically, sure he wasn’t a virgin but this was the first time someone had been bold and asked for sex from him.

“Me!? Why me, I’m sure there’s tons of other guys for you to sleep with.”

Hongjoong snorted, pushing the paper towards Seonghwa. He had a flirty smile on his face,

“Because I think you’re attractive, I really like guys with long hair. Plus I want to thank you for this beautiful bracelet, who wouldn’t jump at the chance to have sex with their idol?”

Seonghwa thought about it for a moment, his friends wouldn’t know. He could just lie and say they got carried away chatting.

“Okay. I’ll do it.”

Hongjoong seemed pleased with that answer; handing him a pen.

“I do have my conditions, I’m trans you know that; but I’m uncomfortable having anal sex. So vaginal sex is what we’ll be doing, this means I expect you to use a condom regardless of if I’m able to get pregnant or not, I don’t like the way semen feels inside me. Secondly, no visible marks are to be left on my body. So no neck or shoulder marks, anywhere else is fine. And lastly, the reason you’re signing this paper; tell NO ONE you had sex with me.”

Seonghwa nodded, signing the paper before it was taken away and placed in an empty folder, the name on the folder read ‘Hongie’s Star’ a name that implied there might be more than Hongjoong was currently letting on. The idol stood, offering out his hand.

“Let’s go, we’re not having sex in some shitty venue, I already had my staff tell your friends we’d pay for an Uber for you to get home. We’re going to my hotel, and don’t worry. My staff will be absent the whole time we’re having sex.”

Seonghwa nodded, standing up and taking the idols hand. Suddenly Hongjoong leaned in, pressing his lips to Seonghwa’s in a heated kiss. Seonghwa made a noise of surprise before kissing Hongjoong back, his hands moving to the smaller man’s lower back. After a few seconds the kiss broke, Hongjoong licking his lips.

“Your lips are soft, can’t wait to feel them while you’re eating my pussy later.”

The two finally headed out of the venue, hand in hand. The night was about to get superstar hot.

•

Arriving at Hongjoong’s hotel made this all the more surreal, Seonghwa was really about to have a one night stand with his idol. The Kim Hongjoong!! The door to the hotel room clicked open, Hongjoong leading Seonghwa inside.

“Okay, now we’re alone. Is there anything you need me to do to make you feel more comfortable? Do you need a drink first? I’ll also treat you to a meal when we’re done.”

Seonghwa shook his head, moving into the room and joining Hongjoong on the bed. The two looking into each others eyes,

“I just want to make you feel good. That’s honestly all I need.”

Hongjoong blushed, clearing his throat before nodding.

“Okay, shall we undress? I haven’t had sex in years so I’m kinda rusty.”

Years!? Seonghwa hadn’t had sex in months, albeit his ex was no good in bed. Hongjoong seemed like he’d be good regardless.

“That’s okay, let me take the lead if you’re comfortable with that? You don’t really strike me as the type to be dominant.”

Seonghwa removed his shirt, watching as Hongjoong did the same. The idol wasn’t wearing a bra, small perky breast exposed the second his shirt came off. Seonghwa’s hands reached out, gently cupping the small mounds and squeezing them. Earning a moan from the idol.

“Feels good Seonghwa.”

His head tilted to the side, soft moans spilling past his lips. Straightening up quickly Hongjoong began to unbuckle Seonghwa’s belt, removing it and tossing it to the floor.

“Let’s get these pants off, I’m getting impatient.”

Seonghwa nodded, their hands fumbling with each other’s pants now that the mood had been set. They were like horny teenagers figuring out their bodies for the first time, Hongjoong successfully got Seonghwa’s pants and boxers off first.

“You’re big, wow. Wasn’t expecting you to have such a big dick.”

Hongjoong pushed Seonghwa back, removing his pants and panties the rest of the way himself. Seonghwa’s eyes were glued to his dripping cunt, licking his lips at the way his juices glistened against the bare folds.

“Want me to eat you out first?”

Seonghwa asked, watching the small idol with lust filled eyes. Hongjoong paused, then nodded.

“Yeah, that’s okay. Let me get comfortable.”

Hongjoong adjusted himself against the pillows, shyly spreading his legs. His cunt was flushed pink from blood pumping the the area, clit throbbing with need. Seonghwa lay between his legs, suddenly thankful he had experience with both men and women. His tongue ran over Hongjoong’s slit carefully, making the idol moan in pleasure; his fingers running through Seonghwa’s long hair and tugging on it.

“Fuck, that’s it.”

Seonghwa traced his clit with his tongue, bringing two fingers to press into Hongjoong’s cunt, working him open while sucking on the small pink bud. Hongjoong moaned beneath him; head falling to the side as his hips rolled up against Seonghwa’s mouth and fingers. It felt so good, to release tension like this after a concert, he’d have to have Seonghwa again if this went well.

Seonghwa’s fingers moved in and out of his pussy faster, the sucking on his clit intensifying with each pump of his long digits. Hongjoong was a moaning mess now, legs wrapped around Seonghwa’s next while his hands kept him in place. His orgasm was coming embarrassingly fast, he’d come from just a bit more.

“Gonna come Seonghwa!”

Seonghwa’s fingers moved faster; pushing the small male over the edge with a shout. His juices staining Seonghwa’s face as he came hard beneath him, legs shaking from the intensity of his orgasm. Seonghwa pulled back as soon as he was no longer trapped by Hongjoong’s trembling legs, the pink haired male sitting up.

“I haven’t…wow…who knew you could make me cum that fast!?”

He panted heavily, sitting up and motioning Seonghwa closer with a beckoning finger. Seonghwa obliged, making his way to the idol. The two leaned in, kissing each other fervently; lips and tongue fighting for dominance over each other. Hongjoong could taste his own release on Seonghwa’s mouth, humming at the taste the kiss broke after a bit.

“I want to suck your dick, I haven’t sucked anyone off before so please tell me if I do it wrong okay?”

Seonghwa nodded, getting comfortable in the same position Hongjoong was in only moments before. Hongjoong lay between Seonghwa’s legs, wrapping a small hand around his length and stroking it slowly. Seonghwa was big, bigger than he had initially expected. Nervously leaning forward he gave the tip a kitten lick, earning a well received moan from Seonghwa. Deciding to just go for it Hongjoong took his length into his mouth.

Seonghwa moaned in pleasure, his head falling back against the pillows. Hongjoong’s mouth felt amazing, his tongue was soft and wet wrapping around his shaft. It was a little hard to believe he’d never given a blowjob.

“That’s good. Doing good Hongjoong, good boy.”

Good boy. It went straight to Hongjoong’s cunt, making his legs clench and a whine to escape his lips. Bobbing his head up and down along Seonghwa’s shaft and stroking what he couldn’t fit in his mouth. Seonghwa was getting close, his stomach tightening in a familiar knot. Though he didn’t want to come, not like this.

“Hongjoong stop, I want to come while I’m inside you.”

Hongjoong pulled away, nodding slowly as he wiped excess spit off his mouth.

“Okay, let me…shit! I don’t have a condom.”

He cursed, noticing he’d forgotten to even grab a condom before coming into the hotel room. Shrugging his looked over at Seonghwa,

“Are you okay with raw sex? I’m on birth control, and testosterone makes it really hard to get pregnant.”

Seonghwa nodded, “raw sex is fine.”

The two switched places once more, Seonghwa kneeling between Hongjoong’s legs while the pink haired boy got comfortable in between the pillows.

“You can put it in, please.”

Seonghwa nodded, rubbing the tip against his folds a few times before sinking into him. Hongjoong cried out at the stretch, he’d never had anything bigger than his toy inside of him. The stretch and fullness of Seonghwa’s cock inside him had slick oozing out of his pussy.

“Move! Please, I need you to move!”

Seonghwa’s hips began to rock against his own, their hands holding each other tightly with each thrust in and out of Hongjoong’s tight pussy. Hongjoong’s head fell back loud moans spilling past his lips as their bodies continued to move in sync. Seonghwa let out soft grunts with each thrust, Hongjoong was so tight around him. Squeezing his shaft every time he pulled and pushed back in.

Hongjoong’s orgasm was quickly approaching again, his hand slipping between them to rub his clit in fast circles,

“I’m gonna come!” , “me too.”

Seonghwa grunted, gripping the idols hips tighter. It only took few more thrust before Seonghwa pulled out and came on Hongjoong’s tan stomach, the idol coming beneath him with a cry of pleasure. Seonghwa collapsed onto the bed beside Hongjoong, pulling him against his chest as they both came down from their highs.

“That was…wow..”

His long hair was a sweaty and tangled mess, Hongjoong’s soft pink locks were much the same. A bit of pink hair dye staining the white pillows where he’d been sweating.

“You were wow. I’m glad I decided to try this out. I don’t think I can take anyone else’s dick now yours was so good.”

Hongjoong cupped Seonghwa’s cheek, making him look at him.

“Can you hold me? We can eat after cuddles.”

Seonghwa nodded, holding his idol tightly. Even if it was only a temporary bliss, being able to hold Hongjoong in his arms while drawing invisible stars on his back made this evening such a beautiful dream. Hongjoong suddenly propped himself up,

“Hey…I really liked this, can we..do it again? Can I have your number?”

Seonghwa nodded,

“Later, just relax right now okay?”

Hongjoong blushed, leaning down and kissing Seonghwa’s plump lips. The kiss was different now, tender and sending sparks through their bodies. Perhaps this was only the beginning of something more the the fan and the idol. Something an NDA wouldn’t be able to protect.

[rennsdeaddoves]

journey to the west book one, thoughts

so this post is going to be really messy and jumbled, i will take my thoughts one chapter at a time. since this post contains all the chapters in book one imma but everything under the cut and warn ya'll that this is HELLA long.

ok so, before we get into it i just wanna let you guy's know that if the first 13 chapters seem like they have less it's because i only really started to do this on chapter 14 and had to go back through chapters 1 - 13 and look at the notes and tabes i left to gage my reaction to them. some of them have a bit more than others and some have like none at all.

that being said enjoy the absolute crack house that is my no cotext thoughts of Journey to the West volume one!

Chapter 1

monkey is born!!

and he's already being impulsive...

calling him the handsome monkey king is gonna go straight to his head

lier! you are a certified shit disturber and you know it!

ohhhhh so thats how he got the name Sun Wukong, gotcha gotcha

Chapter 2

the dao art seems real complex

love how they casually have the way to immortality written in this book lol

teaching a suicidaly impulsive monkey how to shape shift and fly wasn't a bad idea at all!

he's showing off- of course he is-

aaaaaand he got kicked out for showing off! idiot-

oh damn- thats actually sadder than i thought it would be...

HE CALLS THEM LITTLE ONES!!! CUUUTE!!!!

HOW DARE!?!?!

Chapter 3

holy hell....

op much???

not a monkey scaring a dragon ffs

he is just a menace this entire page! LAMO

GOD DAMN-

THEY WANT HIM OUT SO FUCKING BAD XDDDD

bruh-

ooooooop foreshadowing alert

THATS BULLSHIT!! THEIR EXAGERATING THE HELL OUT OF IT!!!

oh- oh he really fucked up the life and death cycles- damn...

smart!!!!

he was thinking of paying a visit to heaven himself?? without an invite?? oh- that would not have ended well-

Chapter 4

here we go! first rampage through heaven!!

deva

NEZHA!!!!

ITS GIVING "who's this sassy lost kid?" VIBES XD

Chapter 5

does he not have a reputation yet???

Wukong is in so much fucking trouble oh god....

idiot

going to war over wine is a very Wukong thing to do-

Chapter 6

when did Nezha get here?

shapeshifter duels man... they be confusing af

oop he got caught-

Chapter 7

they seem to have forgotten what the meaning of immortal is

oop- he's being refered to as a monster instead of a king by the narrator- thats how you know he's pissed beyond all belief...

OH HES MAD MAD

HOLY FUCK

"i have to go exorcise a demon to defend the throne." pg 193

"he ligit just wrote "sun wukong was here" oh the fucking finger lmao

man... calling the banquet that is just salt in the wound.... really it is...

Chapter 8

sandy's got green skin, red hair, noted

it's pigsy -n-

he flirted with Chang'e..... this bitch

i already can't fucking stand him

Chapter 9

so he does have parents! lets see if they ever pop up again-

WHAT!?!?! WHY!?!!

Chapter 10

i didn't take in a sing thing that this chapter sad.... why is it even here-

Chapter 11

no thoughts head empty, why are we still on this? is there any plot relevance or???

Chapter 12

awwww their cute

good for him, coming from such humble beginnings

wow- ok thats kinda a really great honour to be called brother by the emperor

Chapter 13

lots of scenery! neat!

wft....

oop divine intervention o'clock

abuse???? hello??? what the actual fuck sir???

COWARD!!!

i am going to get so sick of him so quickly....

WUKONG!?!?!?!!!!! YER BACK!!!!!! YEEEEEAHHHHHHHHH

Chapter 14

wukong- bud... YOUR FUCKING FILTHY

yell that your not lying makes you less believable

HE'S NAKED?!?! OFC HE IS

brutal.... nice

ight show off, keep rambling about the shit you can do.

gay? /j but fr- i get that a naked monkey coming to your door may be a cause for concern but there was no reason to disrespect him like that-

he has a son??? when???

gross man- like i get you were trapped under a mountain- but gross

brutal... nice

EXCUSE YOU WHAT?!?! NAH, NAH HE DID NOT

A FEW WORDS?!?! FAM YOU READ HIM FOR A WHOLE PARAGRAPH SHUT YOUR MOUTH

thats not teaching tripitaka- a lecture is NOT teaching

GUAINYIN IS HERE!!! oh... Guanyin is here...

oh... fuck...

why is his name just 'Pilgrim' like i get it but i also don't... idk

oh he's gonna do it out of spite now for being called a bogus immortal by the dragon king

that entire painting is just of two gay lovers putting on shoes and getting immortality for it

well, he actually is really convincing, i can see why Wukong went back after those words...

yeah i'd be taken aback too bud

.......YOU COULD FINISH THE JOURNEY RN.... but he won't, that defeats the entire porpoise of it all

THIS BITCH!!!! I WILL ACTUALLY KILL HIM

HE ONLY STOPPED CAUSE I WAS AFRIAD THE FILLET WOULD BREAK

ON GOD I WILL THROW HANDS WITH A MONK I WILL

HE STARTED UP AGAIN?!??!!? STOP!!!!

OH OH! so you stop when you see how the pain is LITTERALLY TEARING HIS BODY APART! fuck you

HE ACTUALLY TRIED TO KILL HIM!?!?!?!? oh my god- i mean.... jesus.....

yes. its a great idea to go to the south sea and beat up the goddess who did this to you... super smart /s

all thoughts of disobedience and rebellion? no shot

Chapter 15

ah yes, lets start the chapter with Wukong hauling ass to save Tripitaka

Jesus them some powerful eyes

omg SHUT UP

YES YELL AT HIM WUKONG!!!

namby-pamby??

lawless lizard XD

harsh

they talk about him like he's not the son of a dragon king...

OH SHES PISSED AT HIM

so he's called 'third prince Jade dragon' gotcha

he's a fucking idiot

why are you being such a baby all of a sudden??

neat, he got the get out of danger free leaves now

if Rue had been in this part of the journey she would have been pretty interested in that

plot armour be like-

impressive

more divine intervention! oh my god-

so now it's early spring. jesus that means its almost been a year

Chapter 16

i don't know wether to be annoyed or what- were only a page into this chapter

"he may be ugly" BITCH WHAT

yeah... ight... i'd be annoyed with him too

somesones butt hurt that hes oooooold~

everyone is starting to get on my nerves like jesus-

wow the murder plots are real

he askin' for favours like he didn't just beat their asses 500 years ago

he's a little arsonist

LMAO UNO REVERSE BITCH

damn- he's already on shockingly good terms with him

HE SAVED YOU AND YOUR GONING TO PUNISH HIM FOR IT!?!?!

I'M GOING TO THROW HANDS WITH A MONK ISTG

and after all that your response is still murder??? really????

goddman.... he so mad he defiled a corpse- that wasn't very buddhist of you tripitaka

Chapter 17

not tripitaka using wukongs temper against others-

jesus christ man

"thunder god mouth" XDDD best way to describe it 10/10

THE THREATS

XDD the arrogance!! he called the demon "my son" before starting a lecture XDD

he gets annoyed when people call him the BanHorsePlague now, thats so fucking funny to me

he's so real for that though, i'd wanna eat in the middle of a fight too

he is actually a menace to humans goddamn

HE REDUCED THE DEMON TO A BURGER

love how their calling him 'old carcass'

there is a lot of seemingly nice senery in this chapter

how'd they know all of that just by seeing a goddamn meat patty on the side of the road???

this is gonna be a pattern isn't it-

conversations with these two go no where but damn they do be giving me L O R E

he's being so nice now lmao

wft....

ok *fine* she gets a pass but jesus

GRAPHIC

jesus wukong

HA got'em

"don't start trouble again" "i won't" LIES

Chapter 18

oooooh this is the pigsy chapter!!! i can't wait to see some ass be beat!

i- i don't think i like these people...

Wukong really just said don't judge a book by it's cover

why does he always say "your poor monk" it's grinding my gears

"tell me everything!" .... "from ancient times-"

his surmname meant hog....

i can only picture that one manga panel in jjk where Yuta is dragging Yuji along lmao

ancient toilet humour?

"where are you going darling" he says as he returns to his original form

love that wukong is described and then called "virtually a living thunder god"

"i'll follow you to the ends of the earth" (menacingly)

Chapter 19

why do they all have caves?

it is pigsy

damn- Wukong's reading him

are they really throwing celestial law at one another??

he's bragging... really?

ah yes, a summary of the first seven chapters

he really said set your house on fire and follow me

man's really stripped him of all he was worth and then dragged him by the ear... he's like a mom...

HE'S REFERED TO AS IDIOT! oh this just got so much better

lmao both of them going "wine? oh we still drink that"

Wukong admitted to being a light weight XD

pigsy, trying to say a heart felt goodbye, the other two; hurry the fuck up

"you know him and not me? what kind of fuckery is this?"

"he insulted me and the pig?!" "how?" *proceeds to tell tripitaka exactly how he and pigsy were insulted*

Chapter 20

just by the title alone i know imma start to have beef with pigsy

they still call him idiot! YES

it's pigsy getting bullied hours!!!

that- that was a very round about way of calling him a dick Wukong

annnnnd he's boasting again...

huh? flying bricks, talking pots, and dancing tiles... interesting...

this old man has balls

"fix your ugliness" DUUUUUDE

i'm about to highlight each and every time Pigsy is refered to as Idiot! shits too funny!

ahhhhh pigsy's first kill steal!

OH SHIT NVM

dude just ripped off his own skin! what a power move!

jesus-

and we get to the first time tripitaka is truely captured!

"for you culinary pleasure" XDDDD why is that so funny?

this guy's actually quite smart for that

damn...

good wisdom wukong

i love how wukong is so often describes as "the one with the thunder god mouth and hairy face"

he's got a good sense to be this scared of him

monkey-monk?? (why is that so funny to me???)

he just told wukong he was a 'buy one get one free sale'!! AND HE'S THE FREE BIT XDDDDDD

KILL STEAL!!! +1 for butality, pigsy's score is now -99 points!

Wukong actually let him have credit for the kill? goddamn- is that character growth i see?

Chapter 21

no he does not!

Aqua man?????

Really?? *face palms*

why does he insist on calling himself grandpa?

is he about to disapline him like a grandpa too??

Coward

the divine wind of Samādhi? like the Samādhi fire? NEAT!!!

more divine intervention i see

the trend of calling pigsy an idiot continues and i am thriving in this enviornment

can he be any less annoying?

*crybaby beings to play on loop in my head*

idiot

it was the fucking gold star of venus

very humble wukong

lawless ape! XDDD

love that offending the great sage is quite possibly a crime punishable by death now

Chapter 22

its sandy time!!!

wouldn't that be qualifies as an inland sea?!

i don't know how to feel about that entire passage

cloud surfing lessons

he called Wukong his assistant- oh boy if he had heard that...

he can be there in half an hour?! wild...

sandy is aquired

Chapter 23

still love that his nickname is practically idiot

please- stop refering to your staff as a rod- i can't take reading "you'll get a ___ from this Huge Rod!" anymore T-T

you fucking idiots- your banter has now left the master stranded and he's gonna get captured by demons!

serves you right

Wu kong being so shocked he actually acted poliet?

Unreal and nonexisting- well those are some red falgs if i've ever seen em in this book

SHIT JUST GOT SO MUCH FUNNIER OMFG

she just keeps going!? dude- please- how can someone have so much

omg- this is all a test of character isn't it...

tripitaka; wukong you stay! Wukong; the fuck you mean me!? make pigsy stay

the entier latter half of this page pisses me off. fuck you pigsy

OH EW! SEVEAR ICK- GROSS

I FUCKING HATE YOU YOU GREEDY WHORE

I KNEW IT WAS A TEST OF CHARACTER!!!!!! I WAS RIGHT!!!!

Chapter 24

serves him fucking right

i agree with Wukong, leave the pig and go

holy hell they haven't even covered one tenth of the distance yet?

this is the chapter that that one monkey king animated movie was about.

to cowardly to do it himself so he's gotta wait for Wukong lmao

thus begins an entire two-ish pages of Wukong stealing fruit again

Wukong makes me nevious frfr

if it were so embarissing maybe you shouldn't have done it in the first place

Chapter 25

wukong.... buddy.... no.....

good plan boy's

dude can pick (break?) locks.... good to know

why do you fight first and ask questions later....

he escaped thrice, got catpured thrice, kept playing tricks..... dude just wouldn't fucking stop....

[may8elle]

All In, from top to bottom, was an amazing show with two glaring issues (in MY personal opinion) :

Punk can't be trusted to not be in some level of Drama. Regardless of who started it, I don't care who did, someone needs to end that shit now. It's getting beyond ridiculous, it's getting stupid, and it's to the point where saying Punk was in some Drama is just as obvious as saying the Sky is Blue or Grass is Green or what water touches is wet. I don't want to hear about this petty ass drama. I don't care who needs to be sat down, but they ALL need to start acting like adults. (This also goes for other backstage fights, not including the many Punk has been in- like the Guevara and Kingston issue as a big example.)

The biggest and most glaring issue, in my personal opinion, is the way the company is treating Women's Wrestling. Of a show that had roughly 7 hours of coverage and at least 5-6 hours of an actual Show, the ONLY women's match on the entire card didn't even break 10 minutes. Of the other two women involved in matches, Sue was kissed by Moxley and used as a device to piss Trent off and have him go after Mox, and Julia was literally leg dropped in the vagina. The only other thing she did was pull Aubrey out of the ring at one point.

Why couldn't Statlander make an appearance with Sue in the Stadium Stampede match? The only three titles not on the show in some capacity were the TNT title, the International Title and the TBS title- OC, the International Champion, was still booked despite it not being for his championship. The TNT Champion, Luchasaurus, still made an appearance in Christian's match despite not being on the card. So why couldn't Statlander pop up?

More than that, there were three matches on the card that had NO titles on the line. Ibushi/Omega/Page v. Bullet Club Gold, Stadium Stampede, and the Coffin Match. So you can have three non-title men's matches, but not even put both women's titles on the line? Or, if not both titles, have even ONE other women's match even if it is regulated to the Pre-Show?

I waited to post this and share my thoughts because I was watching the Post-Show Media Scrum, to see if anything was gonna be said about it. And, the final question of the night was literally directly asking Tony Khan if there was going to be more Women's Matches in the future. He clung to the first part of the question- where the lady mentioned stars being missing (where she specifically mentioned women's wrestlers LIKE Statlander and Nightingale), talked about OTHER stars being missing, mentioned that Statlander vs. Ruby Soho was lined up for All Out, talked about how he liked the pacing and how the pacing was good, then mentioned at the end of the "answer" that he would "try" for more matches.

He danced around the question, in other words. He did not give a direct answer.

He does not give a fuck about the women's matches, the women's story lines or anything like that. If he actually gave a damn, he would give a more direct answer about it- but he fucking didn't. That's not even mentioning who won the women's match or any of that bag of worms- but the bottom line seems to be that TK just outright does not give a damn about the women he employs beyond making sure there's at least One Match for them so it's Less Glaringly Obvious to the people not paying attention.

They have two women's titles, yet they can't manage to book their title shots or story lines revolving around the titles more than like three weeks in advance, at best. And I was holding out hope that maybe, just maybe he'd mention something about having some level of plan or idea for how to move forward with the Women's Division- but noooope. Instead, he dances around the question and gives a very indirect answer about it.

The whole show was fucking amazing, dampened by reports of more Fighting Drama Bullshit and the lack of women's wrestling. And a general rushing of story lines going into the PPV, but that part is at least somewhat forgivable with how good the quality of the matches were.

[clay-cuttlefish]

We're getting back into the good shit now. Vic's back in action, Renee is written by Greg Rucka for the first time, Helena and Vic meet, Blue Beetle is here...

Azrael Plus The Question

Vic's been playing poker. Lots of opportunities to wander around and get into trouble while keeping him retired from heroing and from journalism, it works for him.

Oops All Daddy Issues.

I like how low key this is, despite everything. Vic and Jean-Paul are weird dudes with a lot of problems and that's on full display.

Green Lantern #81

Another cameo that's only notable because I have no clue why Vic would be here. He has literally never met Hal Jordan, how did he get an invite. He's even standing off to the back instead of sitting with everyone else.

The Question Returns

The river emissary is conceptually a lot better than any of the other supernatural takes on the Question. The idea that Vic's death in the river would make his conscience literally haunt him is interesting, and it being questionably supernatural is more to my taste. Making the river a magical harmonica-playing old black man was not a great choice though.

Vic describing Tot as "an ex-father figure" makes me want to implode.

"these auditory hallucinations are getting on my nerves" BIG mood.

Vic is a mess. He can't go home, he can't stay away, he's shifted from Vic Sage the hard-hitting journalist to Vic Sage the laid-back poker player but he hasn't been able to change the Question. This is why he takes up so much space in my brain.

Even after he left he still held on to his love for Myra and Hub City, and this is where he can't do it anymore. He will never see her again. Godddddddd.

Steel #38

I hadn't read this one before, and I'm glad I'm reading it now, because it's great. I gotta get into Steel eventually.

Vic declares himself teammates with John and then immediately splits up and gets his shit wrecked. Maybe let the guy with power armor protect you next time.

This wandering gambler era is fun, I wish it had lasted a little longer. There are so many interesting places Vic could pop up with poker incidents as an excuse, it's the perfect way to keep him around without him having anything specific going on.

A World for Burning (Tec #714-715)

Calling her a supporting character is maybe a stretch but she gets to talk to Martian Manhunter so I'm counting it.

A fun little mystery story.

Cataclysm

Vic interlude is over, time for events.

I like Cataclysm quite a bit. It's heavy on the cop shit and some of the issues are just not good, but I think the earthquake makes for a better citywide event than any of the "oh no it's the Joker" ones, and everyone involved really gets to shine.

Once again I am forced to admit I like when Cluemaster shows up. Steph saving her dad from Helena despite everything is a strong moment.

Random Encounters (Batman Chronicles #14)

OH NO. Ohhhh no. Strap in folks it's time for her to become a main character.

Renee talks to her brother about his guilt over killing when he was in the Navy, and she uses Two-Face's coin to make her point about randomness and how right and wrong aren't simple, which. Hhhhh.

Apparently she shot a guy who was trying to kill Two-Face, and got the coin in return.

Sorry but Renee flipping the coin and making decisions based on the outcome fucking annihilates me and I cannot BELIEVE I hadn't read this before now.

This isn't even a comic it's a short story. Eight pages of Rucka setting up the dominoes.

An Answer in the Rubble (Batman Chronicles #15)

VIC AND HELENA BABYYYY

Self-recognition through the other (annoying)

His anime hair???

I love them so much.

Road to No Man's Land

Sorry but the Bruce Wayne political drama is ridiculous even by my standards. Gotham would be the second-largest city in the US today, or one of the top 5 if the "7 million" is the city and surrounding area, you cannot tell me it would get totally cut off. Screwed by inadequate relief? Sure. Wiped off the map? Lol no.

Okay fine it's the devil. The devil did it. Comic books.

L.A.W.

We've been in Gotham long enough, time to go do Some Bullshit!

This is in continuity, but it ignores all of Vic's canon post-Charlton - he's a newscaster working with Nora from the Ditko run, Hub City is Ted's home city but not his, he's characterized pretty much how he was in Charlton and those few Blue Beetle crossovers post-Crisis... the other heroes seem a little more up-to-date but they're all still kind of janky.

Wow this does not do a good job making me care about any of these characters.

The plot is mostly racist and/or nonsense and most of it bounced right off my brain despite repeated readings.

Honestly I'm here for Ted more than Vic. He's going through it.

I do like the framing device of Vic writing his report in the final issue. The real treasure was the friends we made along the way.

[floatingonalowvibe]

Chapter one of Bernard x ftm reader

I knew I was going to hate going over to my dad's house. He was an absolute asshat, and even charlie knew that. He was never there for me when I was a kid, and whenever he was, he was always distancing himself. And ever since I came out to him, I feel like he's been acting like I'm not even his kid anymore. So, I prepared for the worst.

I'm bringingmy walkman, and all my favorite cassettes. Green day, nirvana, the classic grunge things, as it usually helps me calm down.

It was currently 6pm, and we were heading over to his house at 8. So I decided to start drawing.

Nothing in specific, just wanted to get some thoughts out. For the next few minutes, I filled the page with eyes, all staring in different directions, all stretched out. I have no idea why, but drawing weird eyes just brings me peace.

My peace was broken when I heard a knock on my door. Before I could get up to open the door, Neil opened it, giving me a smil

"Hey sport! You ready to go over to Scott's place?"

I loved it when he calls me sport. Neil is a really nice guy, he's help me with a lot of things in my life. "I guess so." I said with a shrug.

"Well, just remember, if anything happens, you can always call us and we will be there."

I gave him a smile and a nod. He nodded back, ruffling my hair before he walked out. I sighed. Neil knows how hard it has been for me coming out as trans, and how my "dad" doesn't really understand it, so he chooses to ignore it. He sometimes calls me my preferred name, but he rarely uses the correct pronouns.

I glanced at my clock, it was 6:45 now. I got up from my chair, putting on my jacket. It was an old one I got from a thrift store, as most of my clothes where from there. It was black, and on the sleeves it had yellow stripes. It was one of my favorite items of clothing I own.

I grabbed my walkman, plopped down on my bed, popped in a cassette with a bunch of my favorite songs, turned the volume up, and just sat there, trying not to make up fake scenarios in my head about what could go wrong.~timeskip brought to you by my inability to figure out what else to write for that scene ~

Scotts burnt the turkey. And everything else tasted like shit. I tried to help him cook things, but I was pushed out of the kitchen when I tried.

We just got back from Denny's, I had my leftover milkshake in a to-go cup, sitting in the passenger seat sipping on it.

Once we got home, I was really tired. I've just had a really rough few months and it's really been taking a toll on me. And the fact that the entire day Scott was missing the point of me correcting him on my pronouns. I started to head inside, holding Charlie's hand. The kid doesn't deserve the family he got. He's too kind and sweet for all the arguing and comments that Scott makes.

I was waiting at the door, as Scott was fiddling with the keys trying to open it.

"Hey, is it ok if I take a shower?" I ask"Yea, just don't use all the hot water."

As soon as the door gets opened, I grab my bag that I left near the couch and go upstairs.

~after the shower~

Once I got out of the shower, I could hear Scott reading a book to Charlie, The night before Christmas to be specific. I poked my head around the corner of the door frame, causing Scott to stop reading. I walked in, and gave Charlie a kiss on the forehead. I ruffled his bowlcut, making his nose wrinkle up.

" 'night bud." I said, walking away.

"Night N/N!" He responded.

Even charlie, an eight year old, can grasp the concept of being trans. And yet a full grown ass man can't. But hey, they both grew up in different times, so they were raised with different views. Or at least that's what Neil tells me every time I get mad about it. But the way I see it, it shouldn't matter how you were raised, you can still chose not to be an asshat and use the right goddamn name and pronouns.I knew there was only one spare room in his house, so I decided to find some blankets and a pillow and bunker down on the couch.

As I was laying down, Scott comes into the living room where I was. I took a silent deep breath, prepping for the worst.

"Goodnight, M/n."

"Goodnight Dad."

And with that, he was gone, going upstairs.The way he said my name was like he was being forced to say it. But it's better than being deadnamed.

I rummaged through my bag until I found my water bottle and my pills. Neil had prescribed them to me for what he thinks is depression and anxiety. At first, I thought he was just being overdramatic until he started to list off the symptoms and it hit me like a truck how much he was right. I downed the pills, my body shaking due to the horrid taste.

As I lay down, I felt my eyes become heavy. I knew I would sleep good tonight

[silly-plush-corner]

I know it’s past 9pm and all (you know the image) but it’s so hard to not listen to these feelings when they are just chilling there!!! Like what the fuck am I supposed to do? My brain keeps forcing the same dish in my face, saying “you can’t play mario until you eat your broccoli” but instead of broccoli it’s the fear that everyone knows about the weird stuff I do or is wary or some shit like that and I have no idea what I’m doing in almost any conversation or social situation like I know it’s the autism but I still haven’t figured out how to reconcile the sheer discomfort I feel with the thought that I’m just choosing not to try to figure it out because I fucking freeze up and shit and I get too scared of making mistakes because I have no idea how lenient other people are on things and I have no idea how bad (to them) whatever stupid stuff I’ve done is, it’s like fuckin evangelion, you never truly know what’s going on inside someone else’s head, there is always some separation, fuck I need to watch evangelion again and fuck I need therapy. Fuck, I need therapy. I need to take the time to go get therapy because these thoughts are so fucking sharp and painful and I have no idea how brains are supposed to work, - is it normal that I struggle to remember a lot about my childhood? It could just be that I’m rarely in situations that click the right hyperlink in my brain to land on the right wikipedia page - fuck I need to get therapy because they’d know what brains normally do and how people normally act and yeah I know that nobody’s truly “normal” but I wanna know how I can fit in a little bit. Yeah I’m still gonna be myself but I want the overall artstyle to be cohesive, even if my character looks out of place. I don’t want to look like I was just shittily green-screened in from a different movie I want to be a little more normal I’m so tired I’m so tired of this ok I’m being a little overdramatic about this but I am so tired of it and I am tired of being overdramatic but it takes so much energy to dial it back especially because it’s late and I’m not rerouting this post, this is direct stream of consciousness fuck now it’s getting meta (I fucking hate that word sometimes) and self-conscious fuck why do I have to get so self-conscious I’m even getting fucking self-conscious about getting self-conscious right now I don’t even remember the events that made me this way I don’t know exactly why I’m so self-conscious I just have this vague concept, this abstract fucking anxiety cloud of “people will think you’re weird in a bad way” and “I don’t want to fuck anything up” and “you have no idea how to interact with people” I’m just remembering that time in early high school when my leading philosophy was “don’t be a burden” and my mom was like “oh that’s so sweet” and I was thinking “yeah this makes sense I’m just some fuckin guy I’m not that important” and while yeah that’s true I’m not like super important, that is such a degrading mindset to have, even if I didn’t realize it at the time. Change and conflict is scary and I’m still fucking terrified of it. I was about to say “I should change that [end of post]” like “haha yeah such a deep and cool ending” but like I realize that being afraid of things isn’t necessarily going to change but how I handle that fear can change but I don’t know how to do that and fuck I’m getting self-conscious again and ok I’m getting off topic I think a lot of my current intense yet nebulous insecurities come from 1) that period of “I don’t want to be a burden on anyone” and the conflict avoidance, emotion bottling, complacency, etc. that came with it; and 2) the constant felt need to hide what I was doing because I feared the consequences or didn’t want my parents to get upset at or about me, I would always be like “yeah mom I did my homework” when 10 seconds ago I was thinking to myself “yeah I can get that done soon” and I would have but then mom popped in and if I said “I haven’t done it yet” she’d get stressed out - even if I’d had it under control - and then that would fuck me up because -