#i just wish it would stop hurting.......
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literally i am so sick of acne set me free from this hell already please why do i have to live in constant pain
#i feel like it's unfair that i didnt even get it til i was 18#like hello i am ADULT now why did i just get it then and not when i was in middle school or high school???#anyway fortunately my face is normally clear IT'S JUST MY BACK. IS SO AWFUL. AND IT ALWAYS HURTS#i get it so regularly where even just fabric touching it hurts :(((( and it's near constant#i need to go to the dermatologist again#idk why they stopped refilling my meds....they gave me meds for it. it didnt stop it but it helped#anyway guess who cant use accutane or anything like that cause she has IBD???? me.#anyway i do often breakout around my mouth/chin#but i believe that is from my pillow case so i try to change the case every other day#which i havent done lately so that's on me tbh#it also doesnt help with my imposter syndrom re:work because whenever i do have visible acne i feel sooooooo much younger than my coworkers#this is all in my head but i feel like people might take me less seriously if i have acne on my face since it makes me look even younger#anyway. i have sort of accepted my fate that my back and shoulders are all scarred and messed up now#so i try not to dwell on it when it comes to bathing suits or other things that would show it#cause if i dwell on it it might make me subconscious but if i DONT think about it then i am fine and not insecure LOL#i just wish it would stop hurting.......
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EDYN TIDESTRIDER, CHALLENGER OF THE UNDERSEA, RIVAL OF THE DEEP. WHAT WOULD YOU DO IF YOUR BROTHER WAS CHOSEN TO BE A WEAPON OF THE GODS? HOW WILL YOU UNDO WHAT THEY HAVE DONE TO HIM?
#jrwi fanart#jrwi show#jrwi riptide#edyn tidestrider#cw blood#EDYYYNNNN TTIDESTRIDERRR OHH HOW I LOVE HERRRR#THIS IS A PAGE FULLA REEAALLY OLD DOODLES AND REALLY REALLY OLD DOODELS AND NEW DOODLES. ENJOY.#ONLY CLEANED IT UP A BUNCH TTODAY AND IM ACTUALLY SO SO HAPPY W IT WEEEEE#WHAT WAS IT LIKE? DOWN IN THE UNDERSEA. TO VISIT YOUR BROTHER WHENEVER THE ADULTS WOULD LET YOU#A KID WHO DIDNT UNDERSTAND WHAT WAS GOING ON OR WHY HER BROTHER WAS BEING TAKEN AWAY OR WHY HE KEEPS GETTING HURT#OR WHY THE ADULTS JUST KEEP LETTING IT HAPPEN. ITS FOR THE BEST? FATE OF THE WORLD AND ALL THAT? HEY WHO THE FUCK IS IN CHARGE HERE#HOW DO WE STOP IT. HOW DO I STOP IT. THERES PEOPLE OUT THERE WORKING ON SOMETHING. ARITIFICIAL LEVIATHAN YOU SAY?#WE COULD BUILD A THING TO RIVAL THE GODS. WELL. SIGN ME UP. IM GOING TO UNDO WHAT THEY DID TO YOU#WHAT A FASCINATING THING SHE ACTUALLY SAID. 'IM GOING TO UNDO WHAT THEY DID TO YOU' HELLO?? EDYN? WHAT DOES THAT MEAN#WHAT EXACTLY DID THEY DO TO HIM. OTHER THAN THE PROPHECY TRAINING. YOU CAN UNDO THAT? YOU CAN UNDO ALL THAT? HOW?? HELLO???#LIKE SURE I JUST SPOUTED MY THEORIES I THINK SHE WANTS TO KILL GOD BUT THATS JUSTA THEORY... A GA#WHAT IS EDYNS GOAL AND WHY CANT SHE TELL ANYONE OOUUUHHH EDYNNNN CMERE EDYNN CMERRE STOP WALKING AWAY CMERE. COME HERE.#fuuuuuck shes so mysteriousss what is she HIDING!!shes also so so so so angry i fucken know she is. shes so gentle and so sweet and timid#but she is ANGRY and shes SMART and clearly shes AMBITIOUS bc shes TALKING TO THE FUCKING BIG HEAD HONCHO O THE FUCKEN NNAAAVYYYYY#ALSO WHO IS NICHOLAS. IF THATS EVEN HIS REAL NAME. WHO DID YYYOU MEET EDYN. DO YOU HAVE A WISH TO BE GRANTED EDYN???#CHEWING ON THE BARS O MY CELL I NNNNEEEEED TO KNOW MORE ABOUT EDYN IM SO CURIOUS IMG ONNA KILL PEOPLE#i said once in another post 'the oath an eldest sister takes on is on par w that of a paladins-#-and sometimes upheld w the very same ferocity'. I REALLY LIKED THAT LINE.#pleeese... if u can hear me.. pls join me and draw edyn w unbridled plasmatic rage abt the way her brother was treated by the Elders#also pls draw her SCARY. I NEED HER TO BE SSCARY. PLEEASEE I NEED HER TO BE JUST AS VIOLENT AS GILLION BUT INA ICE COLD WAY#JUST AS VIOLENT JUST AS STRONG JUST AS MUCH OF AN AQUATIC MONSTER. im sure u see the vision.#ok i gotta go t bed now i got work in tha morning n i should nnot be stayin up this late. if u hav thoughts abt edyn pls scream abt em#okay byyyyeee goodniiigihhttttt
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there's something i need to say and yall can boo me for it but deep in my heart i'll always know i'm correct: crowley already forgave aziraphale. like already would take him back at one flutter of his eyelashes. that's all.
#do i wish he wouldn't forgive so easily (tho i don't actually think aziraphale needs forgiveness since he didn't do anything wrong and#actually without his decision their love story would've been stuck as it was for more than 6000 years and also heaven would never change#without someone dismantling it and making it new)#yes i do wish that and i also wish he'd learn self worth but we gotta be realistic here he never once been able to stay mad at aziraphale#all those times they had fights where aziraphale was (mostly) in the wrong and rejected crowley what did crowley do? immediately come#CRAWLING and BEGGING back like pls yall this is why i don't read post s2 fics bc everyone suddenly seems to forget their whole canon#personalities and history w each other and it's annoying me so much like i get that we all are hoping crowley learns from his mistakes and#stops being so easy for aziraphale (not me tho) but realistically speaking it's just not gonna happen and once again aziraphale DIDN'T. DO.#ANYTHING. WRONG. yes he hurt crowley with his decision but CROWLEY HURT HIM WITH HIS TOO so if yall wants an apology dance it's gonna turn#into a waltz cause they'd both need to do it#good omens#good omens s2#azicrow#crowley#aziraphale#aziracrow#ineffable spouses#good omens season 2#ineffable husbands#go s2
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Ya know, Castlevania tackled the concept that life after defeating Dracula could be difficult for a Belmont with Richter feeling like he’d lost all purpose and reason to go on living if not for saving others and fighting against something—
But, do you think any of them before him felt that way too?
I mean it sounds kind of miserable, being raised your whole life to be solely relied on for one moment… and then what? How do you handle the sudden shift to ‘not being needed anymore’? Evidently, most of them didn’t have very much happen to them after the events of their games since we don’t get to know—
But, do you think any of them ever got better? Do you think anyone before Richter ever learned how to live for themselves? Did Richter?
Anyway it’s 8 PM and I’m sitting around wondering if any of the Belmonts were still happy after their happy endings (debatable if certain ones got happy endings tbh but anyway), Konami can u check on them, I’m worried—
#like do you think Trevor ever stopped going out looking for stragglers#do you think he couldn’t convince himself it was ever really over after Curse of Darkness#what do you think Christopher thought about handing the whip over to his son#do you think ever he wished he didn’t have to— do you think he hoped somehow he’d stopped it forever that last time#do you think Soleil felt the same after he had to past it on#how long do you think Simon thought about how he could’ve done it differently— do you think he thought he didn’t do well enough#do you think Simon died feeling like the family’s second failure#do you think Juste felt like his encounter didn’t count#do you think he and Maxim felt similarly about needing to be important#hmm just a lot of things to think about#castlevania#castlevania games#akumajo dracula#text post#akumajou dracula#incoherent rambling#let me tell you when I say I have headcanons about tiny intricacies of characters#I have headcanons about tiny intricacies about characters—#like here’s one: Simon puts his hands on or scratches the back of his neck as a nervous tic—#he likes the color byzantine he puts his eartails back when fighting cause they get in the way he sleeps on his face cause his back hurts—#he jokes about the bad situations he’s in he idolizes people way too easily and he takes everything people say to heart but doesn’t show it#I think he probs didn’t take beating Dracula the first time very well if Richter’s possession being inspired by his Quest means anything—#aoouggh then I take the ending of CV2 the way I do and mannnnnnnnnn—#do you think he knew people would care about and look up to him so much after that?#does anyone else think about things like this?#ah the tragedy of the Belmont family#hmmm anyway—
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printer zam.... would you ever consider uploading lore streams into clipped down vids for a second channel.....
fuuuuuuuck I should just continue the 2nd channel abyss stuff with just clips of the super important stuff with zero cuts unless it’s for a big jump 😭😭
#hello it is me princezam#I really wish I kept at this#I’m really bad at consistency but like fuckkkkk I want my streamed lore to exist in more then just streams so bad#if only I uploaded…#but like that’s not enough cuz a video could never tell the full full story that streams can#Posting just straight 30-40 minute clips of lore streams would be awesome tho and I lowkey might try to continue that sometime in the futur#too many side quests rn bruh im stuck in an airport and like nearly the second I get home I gotta play MONEY SMP 😭😭😭#But back to the main point for this specific person this lowkey existed for like 3 videos#I stopped immediately tho since I hated watching us recruit jumper it hurt how stupid we were
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being overwhelmingly white isn’t unique to gw2blr in fact i’d say most fandoms on tumblr are like that. but sometimes when ppl are like “why are there so few poc in this space?” it’s not because none of us are interested in gw2. it’s because, unintentionally or not, you guys have curated a space that is so unwelcoming and uncomfortable to poc that it dissuades us from engaging at all and, on occasion, has driven us out.
#and before u ask#no there have never been racist mobs making a concetrated effort to drive a single poc out#its just that the way the fandom acts sometimes makes it Very clear that hurt white feelings are prioritized above all#over our voices and that shit is isolating and i know a lot of poc who have quietly stopped engaging bc of it#and it especially hurts bc i see so many ocs of color its like#im glad ur having so much fun playing dolls. wish u would stick up for us irl when it counts#antalks
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#dbtag#silly hours#god#I feel like that's a really clear and consistent thing throughout the entirety of the manga but OTL leave it to Toei!!!!#lays on the floor I wish people were less afraid of letting “good guys” be flawed and selfish and reckless without having to like.#idk vilify them?#like Goku does and always has had a ton of negative qualities about him but what keeps him a protag and what keeps those negatives charming#is that 1) he never promises to be anything Else. If you're upset by his behavior that's a you problem Goku's just doing Goku#He's only upset when Other People get hurt because 2) almost none of those negative qualities contain any malice whatsoever#even as a kid when he was 'i killed that guy' it was like 'i solved a problem why are you mad (gen)' not 'good fucking riddance lol'#and he kept that as an adult too even when he learned more about compassion he's still 'well if you're not gonna stop i have to kill you'#it's never 'fuck off and die' it's always 'listen buddy either you knock it off or i knock you out there is no option c '#and god i love that Goku. I spent so long thinking I hated Goku growing up but I only hated Toei's Goku. Toriyama's Goku is GREAT.#like look if an antagonist is just a hero with the wrong perspective a hero is just a villain with the right one#and the fact that Goku has all of the qualities of a villain with none of the malice or intention makes him SO POWERFUL as a character#Goku doesn't like bystanders getting hurt. That doesn't make him less chaotic and self-centered and simplistic in his worldview.#A hero sacrifices his loved ones to save the world -- a villain sacrifices the world to save his loved ones --#Goku sacrifices himself because you cannot kill him in any way that matters#idskahds anyway here's another essay in the tags for your wednesday evening scroll#the justification the interviewer gave was that the anime was for kids but my beef with that is that Hero Tropes strip chaotic characters#of their emotions. Goku's conflicts are emotional. Goku's power is emotional. Goku's childlikeness keep him authentically emotional.#MORE kids -- ESPECIALLY little boys -- deserve a male protagonist who leans into his emotions to persevere and win.#Super deciding his “angelic state” would kill him makes me want to tear my hair out lmao Goku's EMOTIONS are too strong to hold it.#you could've just asked toriyama about it why'd you decide on the most basic high-stakes shorthand possible OTL#aNYWAY#media analysis#in the tags at least lol
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I’ve read ur fic and I decided that this doodle I finally finished is very Dipplinshipping core
I can't do this right now OH MY GODDDD 💀💀💀
Nothing - and I mean nothing - could've mentally prepared me for this artwork. I am being so real with you when I say I completely fucking lost it when I opened this.
I want this to be a tee shirt. And a mug. I want this plastered on my wall so I can stare at it and wheeze uncontrollably any time that I'm reminded that I exist in the same timeline as this art. How on earth did this get birthed into existence. Why. Why is it so perfect. Oh my god I can't even scroll up and look at it I'm going hysterical again.
😂😂😂 thank you so much for all of your time and effort with making this absolute gem of a meme masterpiece. This completely made my day.
YOU.
ARE.
✨ ICONIC ✨
#I am assuming this is about Sweet & Sour Dipplins#my FUCKING GOD I CAN'T STOP LAUGHING#Kieran is SO MAD there's such vindication in his eyes and the fucking gesture is killing me#and then Juliana's just like 😌💖🥰🤗 LMAOOOO#this is it this is peak#i wish ao3 had cover art you could post with the fic#i would give anything to use this image 💀💀💀#its perfect#its PERFECTION#kierans flipping off drayton change my mind#im literal tears my ribs hurt#absolute fuckin fave#no#nuclear fave#i needed to make an elite fave catagory for this#this is my favorite thing now#my fics#dipplinshipping#kieran pokemon#juliana pokemon#kieran x juliana pokemon#kieran x juliana#juliana x kieran pokemon#juliana x kieran#sweet and sour gallery#fanart#nova being iconic
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in a some kind of an effort to make myself visible i guess. heres my art links
fic blog / fic tag on main blog / ao3
art tag
gif tag
ko-fi shop for bracelets
#i just. feel invisible again. sorry#i shouldnt let it get to me but seeing 99% of my efforts being ignored just hurts. like in general not just with art#but this is the easiest to try to push so. whatever#at least if im as bad as i feel rn i would like someone to tell me. so i can stop wasting my time trying#i dont know anymore. i wish i could stop caring so much whenever i do try. lmao#just reblogs would be nice. maybe peep at things. i dont know#im tired#night is an absolute mess on main
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now there was no reason for lucanis to be given purple johnny silverhand as a plot point and then never have the purple johnny silverhand utilized except for maybe 3 or 4 times in the game (if you saved Treviso, otherwise it's twice) and dialogue. Dialogue where he pretty much just says weird and funny things and occasionally gets scolded like a dog which is entertaining sure but there is Literally A Demon In One Of The Companions Why Is This Not A Bigger Deal
#i think i've pinpointed what annoys me about the treviso vs minrathrous thing#it's not that neve or lucanis get mad at you but that you can't like. fix it. or talk about it.#you get 'punished' for picking one and it feels like it should be Worse#lucanis Especially winds up suffering in content bc of it and he's already hurting with content as it is#but apparently according to m kirby he never stops feeling betrayed which is valid#but why can't we fix it? or confront it? Why can't we have a rival situation? or see the effects of spite bc of it.#bc the Hardened thing is literally Nothing on both of them lmao oh no they wont heal me i guess#this man should be pissed at me and apparently he always was? despite us being friends? sort of? by the end?#like it's not even that Lucanis gets Mad at me (wish he'd show it) it's that this is a bioware game and i should be able to confront this#but no. just a choice where ultimately nothing happens but a map change and you don't get a mission/certain cutscenes#and lucanis or neve will go 'i'm doing this and you don't get a say' like ok that's fine and deserved#i just think spite should've potentially taken over lucanis more in a rival situation bc he's so hurt by the worst year of his life#and spite should be gnawing at the bit because this and the rest of the horrors pisses lucanis off#i also think neve should've tried blood magic for funsies esp if she becomes super determined to protect Dock Town but whateverr#i know these tags are slightly off topic but the point is SPITE SHOULDVE BEEN USED MOREEEE i'm so mad#honestly in my deluded hopes that this was going to be truly Bioware i thought Lucanis was going to have an anders situation#and spite would be more in control even if it's still Lucanis. just more volatile and sad.#and maybe it was going to be difficult but the idea that you could've potentially saved him by proving you were going to be there for him#ughhhh it's so annoying and depressing. I do like veilguard i do but this is the moment my love for it waned a bit#like sorry i think Lucanis/Spite should've turned Illario's head into wine if you didn't save Treviso. I think he should be that messed up#but i also thought this was going to be a thing that was going to happen with more companions lol cries for what should have been#prawn posts#veilguard critical
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AO3 has spoiled me so much. I’ll be on YouTube wondering “why can’t I filter out videos with this word in the title” and going slowly insane
#I have a ton of foods I can’t eat for various medical reasons and I just wish i could stop seeing thumbsnails of desserts that would hurt :(#seriously tho I wish we other sites allowed us to tailor what we see that much instead of the Content Chute model#fish.txt#queue
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FOR A BEAT OF HEART, THE BREATH IS SHOT. AND WITHIN A BREATH, THE HEART IS CAUGHT. THE PIPES ARE BURSTING, UNDER GREAT STRESS, BOLTS TORN ASUNDER, MAKING A MESS. A FINAL COUGH, A FINAL RETCH, A GOREY SLOUGH, CLAIMED BY WRETCH.
#cw gore#jrwi riptide#jrwi riptide spoilers#chip jrwi#jrwi fanart#jrwi show#I LLOOOVE POETRYYY I LOVE MAKING WORDS RHYME IN STRANGE WAYS AND DESCRIBING VISCERA AND VIOLENCE OR WAHTEVER. YKNOW WHAT ELSE I LOVE#CHHHIIIIIIIBBOOOOO MY BEAUTIFUL MAAANN WWHAT. WHAT HAPPENED. OH MY GOD. IVE BEEN SAYING FOREVER. I NEEED CHIP TO GET SCARIER.#HE HAS THE POTENTIAL! I KNOW HE DOES! HAUNTED BOY WITH THE HAUNTED EYES WHAT TRAUMAS HAVE YOU SEEN? AND WERE THEY YOUR FAULT? THINK ABOUT I#EVERY FAMILY HAS CRUMBLED AROUND HIM. HIS BIRTH FAMILY CRUMBLED BEFORE HE KNEW IT. HIS SECOND FAMILY DROWNED. THIRD BURNED TO THE GROUND#AND SHALL THIS NEXT FAMILY JOIN THEM? CHIIIIP YOU UNFORTUNATE BOY YOU HAVE WITNESSED SO MUCH CALAMITY#YOU ARE CALAMITY BOYYY AHAHAHAHA DONT YOU SEEE!! ZOMBIFIED AND DEAD. TRUELY MORE HAUNTED THAN EVER BEFORE. THIS WILL BE FUN#THE FIRE HURTS WHEN IT BURNS TOO LONG. BUT NOW YOUR NERVES ARE DEAD AND YOUR MIND IS FREE. BURN THIS CORPSE AS YOU WISH TO GET WHAT YOU WAN#CHIP IS NOT THE FIRE HE IS THE MATCH. I LOVE THAT IDEA SO MUCH IM SO PROUD OF IT. OHHH AND CAN WE TALK ABOUT THE CORRUPTION#bizly mentioned that chip wants to be a good captain. in his most corrupted state however. he would be the BEST captain..#thAT DOESNT MEAn hes gonna just suddenly be all controlling. the BEST captain keeps his crew safe. keeps them together. keeps them alive.#and chip is doing just that! he doesnt need to stop being a good captain just bc of the corruption! he just needs to be the BEST CAPTAIN#AND THATS SUBJECTIVE BABY!! im so excited to see where chips zombie arc goes. neeeed him to get scarier and just a little more fucked up.#neEED HIM TO PERFORM ABHORANT ACTIONS THAT HAVE JAY N GILL GOING ' dude woah what the fuck...'#RIGHT I SHOULD TALK ABT MY ART TOO. this one took TOO LONGGGstarted out witha sketch how did it end up like this...#the heart and the blood KILLED ME. LOOK AT MY RENDERING LIKE HWAAATT#better not see any more mistakes after i post this.... i cant fight withit anymore....STILL RLY PROUD THO..#I WAnted to make it visually LOOK like the grossest vomiting sound possible#i want it to make your throat feel uncomfortable. am i achieving that? i hope i am. thats tubes dude!!! like cmahn!
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Again with X-Men: The Last Stand because I can’t help myself… are there any scogan fanfics where everything happened the same way except Logan stayed at the school afterwards and fell in love with Scott posthumously? It’s not original at all (yes, I got it from BvS superbat fanfics), but I can’t get it out of my head.
You have this guilt-ridden Logan who still sees Jean the same way he does in The Wolverine but the focus is also on everything else that was taken. Charles is gone along with his heir, but the school and the X-Men need to continue somehow even if no one knows how and they need to figure it out. Ororo takes up most of the work, but she’s struggling and Logan is helping her but is still being shit at following orders and sometimes he has to make a lot of calls too because it’s a new dynamic for her and sometimes she forgets and it’s through this experience that he truly sees how difficult being Cyclops must have been for Scott.
Then there is Hank who helps out a lot too because the school and the idea of it needs to be kept alive as well and they need all the help they can get. He and Logan spend a lot of time together (because “You and I are gonna be good friends. You just don’t know it yet.” is there for the taking) and Hank can’t help but talk about Charles and Scott and it’s horrible and Logan doesn’t want him to, but he knows it’s necessary because they can’t just let go even if they should and it’s hard for Logan especially because there was no choice when it came to killing Jean and when it came to Charles, he went the same way he’d lived most of his life - by helping people. And so there is remorse things worked out that way, but with Scott, it’s different. Because he didn’t choose it and it was a pretty shitty way to go all things considered and he was Scott. He had so much to live for and in retrospect Logan can see that he should have tried harder (because “I think it’s time for us to move on,” is nice in theory, but does it work in practice?) or at least tried to stop him from leaving that day when it was so obvious he needed help.
And now that Logan can see Jean, it does occur to him that she might have messed with Scott’s head the same she is doing right now with his and if that were true, it’s horrible that none of them knew.
I imagine that maybe, though, Logan can only see her. That for some reason she cannot talk to him though it seems she tries and wants to tell him something and he doesn’t know what and he loses it a couple of times because he didn’t ask for this and he most definitely didn’t ask to miss Scott now that he finally gets to know him and it’s too late to do anything about it.
But then, Scott does come back (somehow, I don’t know how) and it’s him, there is no doubt and he remembers everything and Logan hates to be the one to tell him what happened after his “death”, but somehow it falls up to him and he has no hopes that Scott will even want him at the school, let alone talk to him, but Scott keeps surprising him and this is not the end of them at all and eventually love comes in from Scott’s side as well.
#scogan#scott summers#cyclops#logan howlett#wolverine#scott/logan#scott x logan#x men#x men the last stand#fanfiction ideas#they keep on flowing fellas#I don’t know how to make them stop#and once again I wish this existed so bad#does it?#I just think the angst potential is too great to pass up#and the introspection into what could have happened after that movie from all that loss#would be cool#and then the hurt/comfort#*sighs wistfully*
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im not lying when i say that i was just finally getting "over" totk, like i hate it still, but the immediate anger and need to rant has died down-
and then the elden ring DLC fucks with me in a very similar way, just even moreso focused on my favorite character in that entire franchise, completely unexpectedly, and the more i learn about it the worse it gets and now i feel even worse bc i dont have the energy anymore to get as angry as i did with totk and its just kinda ... depression and sadness ..
it was like the interest i could fall back to when zelda annoyed me too much or i needed a break from that and i was honestly thinking about doing more with it but now
i know i know i can always draw 'my own stuff' but being a fan of a piece of media or character is just fun and .. furfilling to me in a different way and now i feel so empty again ... and finding new things to obsess about is easier said and done bc i dont 'decide' to stop liking something and neither can just decide to obsess over something so im just kinda left hanging here ... and in a way, i still like it and care about it, frustratingly so, and dont WANT to just stop and find soemthign new ...
#ganondoodles talks#elden ring#zelda#in a way#AND it adds to me just ranting#and complaining#like i wasnt literallly a few days ago beating myself up about that#now i have the next thing#and its almost as bad as it was with totk#with the only difference being that i dont have the energy left to yell that much#and that its the second time now in such a short time span relatively to how long i keep my interests and how long it takes to find one#so in a way it hurts even worse#.... also when the whole thing is kinda bad then at least the whole thing is kinda bad#but here its like specifically my fav#and i dont want to and cant let him just .. go#but at the same time ............. its been so shifted around completely idk what to make of it#idk what the point was to make and present him like he was in the base game and then do such a turn in the DLC#and it feels less like he was someones important favorite nd more like most hated character#bc why would you do that to him like this#you can argue all you want about how it makes sense actually and wahtever but this is what i feel right now ok#what am i even drawing for anyway#what am i even thinking about any stories for anyway#why am i caring about anything anyway#i wish i knew and could stop
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#vent#why cant i get used to things#like why am i crying this isnt something not normal you do this all the time#i dont want to#i feel like a fucking kid wtf why am i crying#get over urself nothings gonna work out#i dont get it when do stuff stop hurting??? because i hate this so much#i hate everything i hate my life rn i really really truly wish i was dead now#i wish i was braver because then i could be#but im not. and i hate it#everythings just shit always and i dont understand why people are just ok with it. cant life be better maybe? i would like it then#and i cant so anything to fix any of my problems and idk what to do#i really dont wanna do any of these things#i hope i die i feel bad about it but i kinda really do hope so… even if its rude to my family i feel so bad about it i love them#but i fucking hate this
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Me going ‘aw fuck’ as I realize that not-great social life as a kid is something that impacts my head today.
#🌸 minminrambles#W;#Vent#Excuse me! What do you mean that I am socially sensitive! What do you mean rejection sensitive dysphoria!#I am fully aware of my issue! And the why! But how do I stop my brain from freaking out!#Being rejected socially again and again as a kid has made my brain just. Wayyyy too prepared for that to happen again huh.#Like no brain!!! We are not being rejected!!! You can make friendships that last!!!! You have proof of this! Except!! you doubt!#My horrible little brain! Tormenting me!#I am not enthused brain. Not enthused at all.#Stop preparing for social failure constantly. It will be a self-fulfilling prophecy. Grgh.#I wish that. Having good social experiences would make my brain better but… well. I think my brain had been quite hurt! Stop needing#constant reassurance. Sighs. I shall figure out a way to deal with my peculiar brain but! Alas it seems.#And on top of everything with my father in the hospital and me being slightly sick from a vaccine. I think my brain is just over stressed.#Oyy vey.
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