#i just wanted to go home and think abt whatever it was at the time LOL i kept getting in trouble bc i was messing up orders and dawdling
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“𝔐𝔶 𝔤𝔯𝔞𝔰𝔰 𝔦𝔰 𝔯𝔢𝔞𝔩𝔩𝔶 𝔤𝔯𝔢𝔢𝔫 𝔞𝔫𝔡… 𝔥𝔬𝔫𝔢𝔰𝔱𝔩𝔶 ℑ 𝔠𝔞𝔫’𝔱 𝔢𝔳𝔢𝔫 𝔣𝔲𝔠𝔨𝔦𝔫𝔤 𝔠𝔞𝔭 𝔫𝔬 𝔪𝔬𝔯𝔢 𝔱𝔥𝔦𝔰 𝔦𝔰 𝔞 𝔯𝔢𝔞𝔩𝔩𝔶 𝔡𝔞𝔯𝔨 𝔱𝔦𝔪𝔢 𝔣𝔬𝔯 𝔪𝔢… ℑ’𝔪 𝔤𝔬𝔦𝔫𝔤 𝔱𝔥𝔯𝔬𝔲𝔤𝔥 𝔞 𝔩𝔬𝔱” (hope yall get this ref)
Nam gyu x reader x thanos
Smoking weed with thangyu :3
Warnings: weed, smoking it, I don’t think they are crazy toxic in this one actually, kind of a poly relationship but not like officially in words? Idk, pre game/ no game AU bitch I have no clue. If you don’t like weed/aren’t comfortable pls don’t read and pls don’t judge 🙏
A/N: this is for me basically. I just thought this would be funny and I haven’t written in like 2 or 3 days and I wanna get back into it bc I miss it IDK😭 and these two are my favorites. America is geeking out and I’m stuck with it for 4 years so to cope imma write abt smoking zaza w squid game characters.
Also these are head cannons I just wanted to have that lyric as the title lol
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- dream and nightmare rotation somehow.
- I feel like smoking with them starts out chill ASF. Maybe yall start back at home and roll up, the three of yall cramped together on the couch.
- thanos is chilling at the arm rest end of the couch, eyebrows furrowed in concentration as he meticulously distributes the goods evenly on the paper and rolling it to perfection. He even knows how to make those cute pattern filters. He repeats this process a few more times
- you are in the middle, crushed between him and nam gyu. Your head is nestled right on his shoulder blade as he works, and your right arm is looped through his left. No matter how many times he does it, you still always comment on how he’s “faster than last time” or that he’s done a great job. If he had a tail he’d be wagging it
- and then nam gyu is PRESSED up against you. One arm is clutching your torso as he practically lays on you, and the other is reached all the way behind you to rest on thanos’ back. His hands are never ever still so he’d be lightly tapping a rhythm on your skin as he waits impatiently
- once thanos is all done it’s time to smoke 🙏 now here’s some actual stoner HCs. I’ll make it short
Thanos: I wouldn’t say he’s a light weight bc he can get super high and be SET. But he just gets super high every time. Somehow he glitched out of high tolerance hell. Also he is a joint hog >:( ik it’s infuriating to try and get him to pass the fucking joint. Prolly uses it as a mic. Smh.
Nam gyu: has to smoke a lot to get high. Like eventually he gets there but he has to smoke one together with yall (bc he wants to be included) and one for himself. Bro gets sleepy, HELLA. Don’t matter indica or stativa. Honk shoo mimimi. I would say it makes him not keep his hands to himself but when has he ever??? Be prepared.
Together: world’s most stoppable duo. Literally whatever brain cells they had die. They are hanging off each other, laughing at genuinely anything, they don’t make any fucking sense, and to make it all worse they reek but tell each other they don’t. Once they’ve smoked they like to hit the streets together, maybe go clubbing :3 ends in 14 arrests idek
- they don’t skip you in a rotation EVER. They take their system serious asf. It’s always been thanos, you, nam gyu, repeat. And they will be dammed if you don’t get your hits in. They insist on shot gunning it to you (and each other but you ain’t hear that from me)
- they will never say no to more, three joints is just TO START. They got bongs, pipes, carts, brah everything
- they are extra sweet to you when smoking weed. Very cuddly, keeping you between them and then holding each other. You are literally trapped that way. And they keep looking at you with hazy eyes…
- hungry bastards. Usually they get food to eat before and then they can partake after. Sometimes they take you out to like a street vender for a cheap munchie session.
- not often tho. They like you keep you inside and away from other people. They like having you curled up between them, looking at them with glassy eyes, smoking the weed THEY bring you. Thanos and nam gyu are really possessive guys so they like moments where it’s literally just you three chilling.
- they be talking about the most random shit if all time. If yall remember the shower thoughts trend, that’s just the shit they say.
- they the typa guys when high to ask if you’d still love them if they were worms
- (you said yes and that you’d make a little compost bin for them to live in. They liked it)
- compliment city!! “Baby you’re so pretty” from nam gyu and a “don’t look away señorita, i wanna see you” from thanos.
- they hold hands with you.
- if you happen to green out they are with you in the bathroom. Nam gyu will hold your hair if you throw up and thanos is getting water and setting up for bed.
- tbh not all smoke seshs end in getting freaky, but it’s high in likelihood. Bc like cmon. They are freaky. And sometimes the weed be weeding. And they love you, and each other.
- but sometimes they end in just yall cozied up together in bed, rambling abt random shit, holding each other tightly as smoke clings in the air.
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Idk I just thought this was funny. I think the world would be much better if politicians talked shit out over a fresh J imma be real. America is hell.
#squid game#squid game x reader#nam gyu x reader#squid game season 2#squid game x you#x reader#player 124#player 230#thanos x reader#thangyu x reader#thangyu#smoke weed everyday#america has a problem#what is happening#zaza#nam gyu#thanos squid game#thanos#230 x 124#squid game 2#choi su bong#choi su bong x reader
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this is gonna be a long one folks mwehehe
1. What are your favorite dates to have with them? Alternatively, what are their favorite dates to have with you?
i think my favorite type of date with Brett (oh yah this is all abt Brett btw bc ofc it is) is just like a little stay at home date maybe ? we'd like binge watch something together, get take out, all that. i feel like we try n have a date night every week on Sundays or if things get too hectic, every other week. but for Brett, i think he'd honestly like anything. i think he would believe he has to like do a lot n put in a lot of effort for it to be a date but then i tell him that we rlly can just sit at home i don't mind (n i'm also very easily pleased so SKHJDH) n he feels like he can chill a little
2. What's the height difference between you and your f/o?
uhh i don't have it exact or anything tbh (bc i rlly don't feel like going through it rn) but i am shorter for sure. my s/i is maybe like,, neck level to him
3. On a 1-10 scale, with 1 being the least and 10 being the most, how much do they like PDA with you?
oh he can do PDA all day baby SKGHSH he will not be shy about the fact that we're together. sling his arm around me in public, brief kisses, holding hands, all the likes. he won't go as far as making out or anything like that (unless i wanted to then maybe he'd consider it) but again, not shy abt the fact that we're together. the real reason he doesn't do it all the time is i just get overwhelmed occasionally
4. What's your favorite feature about your f/о?
his hair aawahbaba but thats very true for most of my f/os i just love their hair
5. What do you think they smell like?
unfortunately, axe body spray SKHJDB i think there was a joke about that in the show ? but yah something like that. n trust i will be actively trying to suggest him different things that maybe he'd like
6. What is your f/os biggest love languages? They don't have to be one of the "five", it can be anything specific they use to show you love.
probably similar to me. words of affirmation at the top n quality time next in line. he really needs to validation that he's doing well n that i love him which, i will be honest, i'm not that great at but i will put forth the effort for him !!!
7. What is the dynamic that you and your f/o have?
okay think of like two very excitable but anxious dogs. thats us SKGHSG but on a fr note, we're just fairly similar. i'm just a bit more confident n assertive while he has more empathy n charm. but we're both excitable, affectionate, (kinda) idiots. it's bimbo n himbo love
8. Do you like to hold hands? If so, what's that like?
we hold hands a lot. anytime a meeting is getting too boring or one of us is secretly having a bad day ? boom hand holding. walking down the street ? we holdin hands. sometimes he even let's me hold pinkies with him bc he knows i like it from the older movies he watches hehehee
9. Do they like to give you little kisses? If so, where is their favorite place to kiss? (Face, hands, etc) and vice versa?
he loves giving kisses whenever he can, mostly when cuddling. he becomes so affectionate when we're by ourselves n he can just do whatever so he will not stop kissing me like ever SKGHDH his favorite places to kiss are like my cheeks n shoulders maybe heehe but for meee hmm i would like kissing his nose n forehead probably just so i can like,, look at him SJGHSH hold his cheeks n look at him with my big ole eyes
10. What's your favorite silly leisure activity to do with your f/o?
absolutely nothing SKGHSH sometimes work is tiring so one of us will just go over to the other's place n just do absolutely nothing together. maybe order a pizza, watch a movie we like, something random just so we can cuddle :]
this was so fun yippee yippee !!! love talking abt f/os
dividers by @/saradika-graphics
I want everyone to have the chance to ramble about their romantic f/os, so I'm gonna make a reblog game where yall can answer the plethora of questions I'm gonna toss down. Any of the questions you want to answer, as little or as much as you'd like!! I'll read them all. PR.O.SHIP DNI!!! AT ALL! GET OUT-
SO!! SELFSHIPPERS! RIDDLE ME THIS:
What do your f/o's hugs feel like?
What are your favorite dates to have with them?
What are their favorite dates to have with you?
Do you have any songs that remind you of them? Do they have any songs that make them think of you?
What's the height difference between you and your f/o?
On a 1-10 scale, with 1 being the least and 10 being the most, how much do they like PDA with you?
What's your favorite feature about your f/o?
What do you think they smell like?
What is your f/os biggest love languages? They don't have to be one of the "five", it can be anything specific they use to show you love.
Do you guys sleep in the same bed? If so, what's it like sleeping with them?
What's your favorite headcanon about your f/o?
What is the dynamic that you and your f/o have?
What does your f/o do for you when you're having a rough day?
Do you like to hold hands? If so, what's that like?
Do they like to give you little kisses? If so, where is their favorite place to kiss? (Face, hands, etc)
Vice versa, do YOU like to give them little kisses? If so, where is YOUR favorite place to give them?
What's your favorite silly leisure activity to do with your f/o?
What is your favorite compliment that your f/o gives you? What is your favorite nickname that they for you, if they have one?
What's your favorite compliment to give THEM? What is your favorite nickname to call them?
Okay I can't wait to see some answers!! Feel free to reblog as many times with as many f/os as you want. ANYONE CAN PARTICIPATE! SEEING THIS POST IS AN INVITATION FOR YOU!!
People I'd like to see answer this off the top of my head (but don't have to!!): @moxanji-real @one-winged-dreams @lovesickvalentines @graveluvr @clawingatmy-enclosure @starshakez @jpeg-indulgence @everynya @tropgothships @selfshipping-tboy @amelielovesamaris @pixel-comfort @fl0ralsxgar
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i remember making a post once that was like. geto is a Father but he’s mommy. and kenny is a Mother but he’s daddy. and i just wanted to say it again bc i was so CORRECT wow
#IM JUST SAYING….#kenny is Husband and geto is Wife :3#but canonically geto is a Father and kenny is a Mother#idk i just love whatever gender fuckery they have going on i need them Both actually#been thinking a lot abt husband!kenny………… i need to write something for him soon phewww#he is so Peculiar#wants you to give him a welcome back hug every time he comes home from work but he never tells you to do it#he just Stares at you until you’re in his arms. and if you don’t do it he gets all weird 🤨#he’s so off putting it’s crazy#(the difference here is that geto would Whine for his welcome back hug)#ari noises ✩#kenny !! ✩
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im going into my new work tomorrow, first time ever😐
#i was supposed to go in yesterday but um#so basically i did whatever training i was never even aware existed on a platform i was never told of#which has progress for every lil step i do so my manager literally could see i hadnt even logged on n couldve warned me any time#but never did 4 some reason. like even a days notice like heyyy have u gotta blah done n not as im abt to exit to work#BUT ANYWAYS so i tell her i got it done n shes like awesome i make new schedule (since she said we have 2 completely rid the old one#i dont get an update until 4 days later. all she did was add THREE training days (im supposed to have 6 cus it's a hard job)#on TOP of my old schedule. so i have 3 days i know are training days and then a solo day bcs that solo day was going off my old schedule#so it's like. which days do i go on then. bcs u said i cant come in at all bcs we'll have to make a completely new schedule#and then the new schedule is just. 3 added days. on top of my old one#sunday i was scheduled for training & there was No trainer scheduled with me. it was just me#sunday wasnt one of the 3 new days added. it was from the old schedule she literally told me to ignore#n then all a sudden today i get an email from someone who was supposed to be training me (name not even on the schedule tho)#n shes like hey im in the building are u lost or smthing :)?' mind u im asleep . so she probably thot she was wasting her time for a good hr#i emailed her an apology n an explanation but UGH r u fucking serious?? IF I KNEW THAT WAS A (NEW) TRAINING DAY I WOULDVE WENT#I JUST WANT TO GET USED TO THIS NEW THING & IT'S JUST GETTING FUCKED LIKE I DONT EVEN HAVE A BADGE YET BRO#like i was suspicious of going in sunday bcs it wouldve lined up nicely with the 3 added training days#but manager TOLD me she was adding a whole new training schedule! i double check n all she added were THREE days! thats it!#how was *i* supposed to know sunday was supposed to be 1 of those days when ive been staying at home ignoring the schedule u said 2#BCS U SAID 2. AND ALSO. THERE WAS NO TRAINER ON THE SCHEDULE.#even tho the drive is far. i wouldve driven up there today to see if i could shadow if i had known there was someone to shadow there#bcs even if i was wrong abt the day 2 come in at least i wouldnt waste my time but i didnt even know if there was someone there with a#trainer title. so i just missed a day i didnt even know i rlly had. FOR NOTHING. UGHH. I FEEL SO STUPID. I HATE MISCOMMUNICATION#im so scared of coming in now. sverybodys gonna think im dum n what if i have issues training then theyre gonna be like#we spent all this time on bro n he had all this time 2 prepare n he still sucks like damn we should just give up#i would 2 but i hate not seeing things to completion so. ugh. hate it here. idk what 2 say. EMBARRASSING#i hate miscommunications i hate feeling stupid
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Update: I have not stopped thinking about this au.
Some more ideas that are *somewhat* specified in the notebook:
Sort of a timeline for Jinx as a cat, initially she was a street kitten given the name “powder” by Ekko who, at the time, wanted to keep her. His parents didn’t let him but she still followed him for a long time. Eventually she got injured and got picked up by Silco. He took care of her, fed her, groomed her, the works. One day she got into some trouble and almost died so Silco took her to what he thought was a reputable vet. They told him that she died and made it seem like she had. In actuality, they kept her for experiments. Nobody really knows what happened other than she came out traumatized, with pink eyes and eerily smart. Like, smarter than any cat should be. She spent more time on the street until she happened upon Ekko, who was going to college nearby. She followed him home and snuck in. She’s been with him ever since. She only responds to “powder” when it’s Ekko. It took Ekko a while to realize it was the same cat. Literally nobody else gets that privilege. Not even Vi. Silco might be able to but tbh he never gave her a name. He mostly just called her “blue” but switched over to jinx when they reunited. Also the name “Jinx” came from the fact that Ekko was too concerned abt having a strange cat in his house to study for the test the next day and subsequently kinda bombed it. He said she “jinxed him” and eventually the nickname “you little jinx” became the name “jinx”. Jinx quite likes her name tbh because it reminds her of what Ekko would do for her and their reunion after so many years.
Silco is Ekko’s boss at his job in this au. They initially hated each other but bonded over similar worldview and ADORABLE pictures of jinx and later, Isha. Silco does have another cat now tho. It’s Sevika. This is part of the reason that Jinx didn’t return to Silco’s care. The main part is mostly that she just didn’t want to. She gets enough time at Ekko’s work.
As previously stated, jinx LOVES Vi and HATES Caitlyn. This is because Vi used to feed her when she was still a stray kitten. Usually scraps but sometimes proper pet food and treats. As such, usually whenever Vi is over she is immediately commandeered by the blue cat. Meanwhile Caitlyn, while not doing anything directly, her mother kicked jinx away as a kitten more than a few times because she was scared Powder would hurt Caitlyn or give her some disease. It happened enough times for jinx to recognize their faces and scents and oh BOY can jinx hold a grudge. It is ON SIGHT between jinx and Cait even if Cait and the rest have no idea WHY. Caitlyn isn’t allowed even remotely close to Isha because of Jinx, who is scared Isha will be kicked like she was. The loudest Ekko has ever heard jinx be was when Cait got a little too close to Isha and Jinx was Not Having It.
On a typical day tho, jinx mostly sleeps. Partially a side effect of experimentation but also she just doesn’t see the point in getting up when there’s a nice bed and a warm sun. Tho tbh when she’s not sleeping, she’s being a nuisance. Pushing cups off tables, getting in the way, turning off whatever lights she is able to (Ekko still has no idea how she does this), the occasional yell around the house, races against Isha on who can get to the other since of the house the fastest (which sounds like they’re both falling down some stairs with how loud they are), sneaking up on Ekko and generally being annoying. To be fair, it’s not like she has anything better to do. Most cat toys fall flat when she has enough intelligence to understand a decent amount of English. She usually pretends she doesn’t know anything tho. It took Ekko a few weeks to figure that one out and BOY was it horrifying to ask a cat “can you understand me” and get a small but definite NOD YES. He doesn’t really tell anyone tho. Partially because he doesn’t think anyone would believe him and it’s not like Jinx would back him up on that claim. She’s be silently laughing at his misery. Also partially because it really doesn’t change much. It just means that the little asshole pushes dishes off counters because she likes to and annoying Ekko is just a little bonus for her efforts.
Doodles of jinx as ekko’s asshole cat + kitten Isha
Jinx kinda just waltzed into his life one day and didn’t leave. She has annoyed him for years and refuses to leave. She’s smart too. Like, knows what ‘no’ means but doesn’t care unless it’s actually dangerous and not just annoying. He begrudgingly loves her and doesn’t know what he’d do without her. Then she adopted Isha. She became more personable but will try to murder you if you approach Isha. He still has no fucking CLUE where she even got her. He has a suspicion she has a way out of the house but doesn’t know where it is. So one day he came home to his cat licking a small kitten who he later found out, WASN’T EVEN HERS. Ekko regrets letting the cat into his life (half his house is cat things and he loves them to pieces. Especially considering jinx is a deterrent from Vi bringing Caitlyn over. For some reason the cat hates her? In ekko’s opinion, completely fair. He hates her a little too.)
#I’ve been working on this#mostly because it’s funny to imagine kitty jinx getting up to mischief#a comic that’s not featured here is Ekko saying they should probably get her hair#and jinx does Not Like That Idea#so she threatens him with her claws#he backs off and says ‘message received’ as jinx turns to leave#arcane#ekko#jinx#jinx arcane#ekko arcane#jinx and isha#isha arcane#caitlyn kiramman#vi#arcane silco#silco and jinx#I actually really love this au#will probably be doing more#who knows tho#weirdocat83 ramblings
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wanted to go to the gym social tn but as I was getting my stuff together to go out, a friend said smth that rly pissed me off and now I'm too fucking angry to go out. fucks sake man
#fucking hate ppl commenting on my 'self control' for being sober bc I get it all the fucking time and its so patronising !!!!!!#even if its not intended that way. dont care didnt fucking ask. especially from someone im friends with#but whatever i should know better than to expect ppl to know me#maybe other ppl need discipline to stay sober but i dont bc the alternative is a non option and always has been. not that hard for me#and i have my own self control struggles w other shit man like im not pristine and perfect fuck off. you only dont know abt the#shit i actually fucking struggle with bc i dont know or trust u well enough for that.#and i HATE when ppl fucking imply im susceptible to peer pressure. im not. dont fucking overestimate your influence#ppl act like shit is a choice like actually i have a trauma rooted fear that comes from ppl in my family dying of substance abuse thanks 👍#which i dont expect strangers to know. but my friends should fucking know that!!! but i guess its not worth remembering#whatever it doesnt matter im prolly upset for other reasons im going to go out for a walk to calm down i cant be at home right now#even more fucking annoyed that im missing the gym over this. i shouldve been there an hour ago.#i mean i could still go maybe the cycle ride would stop me feeling mad and blowing everyone up once im there. i doubt it tho#UGH. fucking whatever. whatever whatever whatever. sorry for ventposting i was typing out a longass reply#but its not gonna fucking do anything except come across needlessly aggressive and ruin the conversation#even if i really really want to be needlessly aggressive. and ruin the conversation. but i guess i have the self control to not. lmfao#what if i just killed myself. anyway i think im gonna go get some shitty fast food on this walk and watch a horror movie when im back#.vent
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i literally have a counseling appt tomorrow and I need to Lock In for it for various reasons but im going to be plagued by thoughts of this mfer now 😭😭😭 i was playing a game that requires a lot of focus and attention w a couple friends tonight and i was NAWT pulling my weight bc i literally could not stop thinking of this little freak DBDHDJDKL I'M DONE FORRRR IT IS SO OVER FOR ME YALL 😭😭😭
#hyperfixation central station here we come 😭😭😭 I DONT WANT TOOO PLEASEEE LEAVE ME ALOOOONE#I CAN'T DO THIS FHHDJDLS IM NOT STRONG ENOUGH ...#genuinely though hyperfixations suck shit for me bc it disrupts my days for at least a couple weeks 😭#i Cannot stop thinking abt whatever the thing is. it is just nonstop thinking abt The Thing.#i lose sleep and i can't focus on anything and it is nigh impossible for me to talk to ppl bc i just want to talk abt The Thing😭#it was absolute hell when i went through one while i worked at DQ fhfksl i was MISERABLE for those few weeks#i just wanted to go home and think abt whatever it was at the time LOL i kept getting in trouble bc i was messing up orders and dawdling#ANYWAYS. DOESN'T MATTER. IM RAMBLING. i need to go doodle and then sleep fhfkdkl hopefully im wrong abt oncoming hyperfixation !!#just be a normal fixation blease... i am NOT the strongest soldier for this ...#dandy.cmd
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even though i really love what hrt is doing to me it has made me so self conscious because i know my body is changing more visibly now and i don't like the idea that people who know me very well will be able to see that. i just hate the idea of people looking at me. and i worry that the people i care about will like me less the more they look at me because i'm ugly
#some of my mum's family keep calling me fat now bc of the t weight gain as well which is irritating to me#1) i'm still clinically underweight according to the doctor 2) so fucking what if i was. why is it my problem that you're archaic#if you think being fat is bad that's like. fully your problem. that's on you. grow up and get a grip#and also i'm already hyper aware of the fact that my body has changed. i don't need you to keep drawing attention to it#it's frustrating because like. i WANT to gain weight. i feel way better abt how i look and i feel like i'm more attractive#but they keep making me feel guilty for it and like everyone is silently noticing and judging me for it#it's like. the whole time you've known me i've been miserable and consistently trying to off myself#i also spent my ENTIRE childhood and teen years taking care of my siblings + grandmother bc you guys couldn't be arsed#and now i'm finally doing something for myself that is making me way happier and you can't let me have that#i still have to see them regularly because they're living with my grandmother who i am obligated to visit#partly because she's ill and partly because i'm the one who does all her chores that she can't do anymore#because you guessed it. the family members living with her just sit around doing fuck all so i have to do it all instead#and last weekend i spent five hours raking leaves + moving bricks so when i came back in i was starving#and AS SOON as i started eating my (fake)auntie was like. girl you eat too much.#BROTHER ?????????? suck my fat cock ??? leave me alone ?????????#being so Out in the real world vs being so insanely Closeted in front of my family is so ew#it reminds me of being a closeted teenager living at home feeling like i was constantly harbouring this embarrassing evil secret#when really i'm just putting gel on my arm every day and eating five packets of ramen in one sitting#when i'm in queer spaces / on my own / having sex i feel so good abt myself i don't have an ounce of dysphoria#and then i go home and it's like oh. i'm actually the most disgusting evil creature on this planet and i deserve death#whatever. trans people and lesbians think i'm hot and i got mad head game so who gives a fuck
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#i'd stayed alone for a few days before. for a week. for weeks#but this week was something for some reason#a fight against depression or whatever shit is in my head and i lost it#it was so shitty i can't even describe HOW. all i know that i was supposed to rest and i didn't rest#ED STUFF DON'T READ IF IT TRIGGERS ETC ETC more food was thrown out in these 8 days than i ate#wake up feel awful feel hunger drag yourself out of the bed to the kitchen#realise you in no condition for cooking#or for making a simple sandwich or something#look at food and think “aye i don't like that :(( i don't want that :(( i feel like dying but i can't force myself to eat :((ok back to bed”#LITERALLY hunger HURTS and i CAN'T eat just fucking CAN'T#you feel like you'll collapse on the floor any minute soon and.... yeah you guessed right#it's not like any typical ed i know and not what i could find when digging information abt it#'cus i also sometimes INTO food and even consider it tasty and even WANT it.......#and i tend to cope with stress with sweets sometimes#like WHAT THE FUCK it frustrates me so fucking bad#idk what to do#except for going to therapy. but i can't afford therapy rn#nor i can tell my mother#just need someone who'll repeatedly poke me with reminders to EAT. several times at a time#ED SECTION ENDED!!!#i wanted to say something ant anxiety but forgot what. for good i guess#need positivity. just a bit of it. today i've done half of the stuff i was supposed to do a week ago and i'm up to finishing it when#i'll get home#and everything else is probably ok.#fictional blorbos halping me survive day 948#dame can't shut up#vent post
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its so embarassing likee. going to talk abt a feeling you have but you already know ppl will be like Oh that sounds like depression lol and its like. well yes . i know . trust me i am so aware i am depressed . but its still like a thing ive been thinking abt and wanting to talk abt but ik itll just be like Ok hun 👍. idk idk what response i would want tho ig FNFNFNF
#not anything serious i was just thinking how like. idk. this is gonna sound rly stupid#but for me personally like. sometimes. How do i phrase this without sounding rly evil#i think obv ppl can spend their money however they want but like. its kind of hard 4 me to grasp sometimes like. there r things that ppl#spend a lot of money on bc it makes them happy like umm. vacations or pets or hobbies or whathaveyou. and obviously thats fine but#i iust feel like its all so. temporary and like. idk. idt im ohrasing this right at all i just likee. the thought of working all year to#afford to take a vacation and then working again to afford another vacation just makes me feel like i want to die. like. idk... i like#vacations we dont need to go on them a lot but ig its just like. everything we do just feels like a waste of time. not in like a Ohh you#should be doing more work Obviously its just like. idk. maybe it is just me. but i feel like im just waiting until i die and can be done#with it i guess. and everything i do is just to fill time until that happens. yk ? which is silly bc of my whole. Thing i cant talk abt#but ppl talk abt like. going out and partying or going on vacation or whatever and i like. I like those things its nice when they happen#but they dont rly make me longterm any happier i guess. everything just feels like another thing im doing. idk. this rly isnt coming out the#way it is in my head. and Again i know this is just depression shit or whatever im just like. its all exhausting. it just makes me feel so#tired. to think abt working and working and working so i can pay to be alive and i can save to do one fun thing every so often to keep me#sane enough to keep working and working and working and i probably wont ever be able to retire itll just be. work. and then ill die. yk.#but i feel like the vacations and stuff dont like. refresh me very much. maybe its just bc ive only been on one 'vacation' as an adult and#it was just like. coming home to see my family. and realizing id have to move back home yk..#+ like. my mom nd my gran taking me out for a weekend when i lived up there#nd those things were nice and all but once its over its like. it doesnt fuel me to keep going it doesnt make me feel any better abt having#to work for the rest of my life#ik im being ridiculous bc im literally unemployed and i cant even get up off my ass to get my stupid fucking ged so i can get a job and be#Useful to my family its just like. idk.... i try so hard to be like Oh nothing mayters and thats why everything matters type thing like. Yes#all things end and the point is to just try to be happy until it does#but i feel like it just doesnt happen for me. i feel like any happiness i feel is so insanely like. it happens and then its gone. and its#back to just. the knowledge that im still fucking stuck here. and i will be until it happens. yk. i play video games tomoass the time until#i go back to sleep then i wake up and i make a spreadsheet to pass the time until i go back to sleep#and everyday just feels like passing the time until i go back to sleep and itll just keep going until it happens. and its nice to have nice#days but whats like. the point. yk. everything just ends#IDK. this is all very whiny im sry. ive just been feeling it a lot lately . i hope this doesnt feel like me being like Ohhh you ppl r so#dumb participating in hobbies and going out and having fun dont you know yr gonna DIE? thats not what im trying to be like#its just like. i feel like it doesnt make me as happy as it does other ppl like. none of it refreshes me or makes me want to keep going
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they don't know i'm planning major changes to my da worldstate,,
#wish i could be normal abt this silly game series. wish i could just go with whatever im vibing with#but nooooo i have to lose sleep thinking abt the Most Perfect Worldstate hhhhhhhhhh#think i might have to go with a dual worldstate solution. it's so much work tho...#anyway i loveeeee andrale but what if my warden was a brosca actually. what if andrale was a mage lavellan and my inky.#what if i was finally brave and conscripted loghain. alistair would become king... or exiled..... ough#i could see andrale making all the choices i'm abt to make in dai#but also i don't want to put her through the torture that is dai's story ahah#she loses a lot in dao but also gains a lot. love and friendship and a new purpose etc. meanwhile dai is just loss loss loss <3#or maybe im just being overly pessimistic abt dai again idk <3#also where would celyn fit in all this. would she still be a dao companion oc... or something else..... a dai companion?????#anyway i need to get back to my puter i need to plan this more. i need to make a brosca and see what happens#oc: andrale#oc: celyn#i've spent the past couple weeks at my parents' n that's why i haven't rly engaged with anything here#the area my childhood hometown is in is so beautiful btw. every summer when i visit it hits me again#its the lakes!! they dont fuckin have lakes in the south!!!!#but there is so much lake here i am surrounded by beautiful lakes in every direction. sigh#anyway im going back home this sunday. will have more time to be here again :)#alsooo how do we feel abt the name ronya. i want my brosca's name to start with the same letter as rica's hehe#and ronya was the first name that came to my mind#idk... ronya brosca...... does it work
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I'm trying to find ways to slowly ease my way into taking walks (debilitating social anxiety) so I was going to download pokemon go again but my phone is too old :(
#im actually very upset abt this lol#all of the other tricks ive found rely on having a dog to walk#and like i would love to get my own dog but i absolutely cannot afford one lmao#so i guess i just. still can't go on walks#nobody seems to understand just how impossible it is for me to walk down the street when im not trying to get somewhere#like just going for a walk for fun/to look at nature feels like im being killed#people are LOOKING at me and when someone even so much as glances at me while im walking i instantly feel like I'm doing something wrong#or like they're going to misunderstand my sort of odd behaviors#i can't walk slow because they'll think im a stalker. i can't walk fast because ill get out of breath and they'll think im disgusting#i can't keep a normal pace because im too nervous and i just spend the whole time tense and hate myself even more when i get home#like. what the hell am i supposed to do lol#getting a dog is the only way i think i could stop myself from spiraling like that bc of COURSE im walking slow and leisurely.#im walking my dog. my dog wants to smell and has to poop or whatever#im no longer a freaky fat stalker im just some guy walking my dog#this became more of a vent than i was expecting lmao but if anyone has any actual tangible tips for how to go on walks i would appreciate it#when i had to walk 2 miles to class i used to take a small part of an edible right before i got on the bus lmao and that worked WONDERS#but i don't want to have to do that just to walk around my own neighborhood when i eventually move out#i just want to be normal lmao i want to go out and find bugs and look at leaves#i guess i could walk in the woods but what if i get lost#i want to be able to look at stuff. i want to be able to stop and look at a plant while some person passes by me#without feeling like im going to blow up or like they're going to hit me or like IM going to hit THEM#im used to anxiety but i always feel so erratic in public places. when everyone wore masks i was a little better#i still mask most of the time but it doesn't help anymore bc now im like one of the only people that does it#so now instead of blending in AND having my face covered i just stand out more#my face is still covered so it still helps but its like barely a net positive lmao#i want to be able to look around without worrying that someone is looking at me from their window and thinks im a stalker#truly how the hell am i supposed to do that without a dog lol
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#theres this feeling i get sometimes. i find it very hard to articulate. its part despair and part awe. dispair at how beautiful the world is#all those intricate little process coming together to organize the chaos. i dont kno y i feel it so deeply or y it hurts so much#because its just. no matters what horrible things r going on in the world. ur body is this miraculous collection of chemicals and reactions#mobile containers of water with a history that spirals back billions of years. and you can hear and see and experience and reflect#and when you die the world goes on spinning without you. if we as humans destroyed this planet past the part of our ability to inhabit it#it wouldnt even matter. there would be continued life past humanity. cosmically we r tiny and insignificant and we dont matter#but were beautiful and wonderful and infinity complex and knowing that leaves me in agony. because i want to kno everything right now but#mind is too small and i walk around with the disorientation of someone whos just been hit in thr face ans i cant focus enough to read#cant make the words make sense and i cant justify the time it would take to try. so i sit on my deck. in the sun. crying as i think about#how the light hit the grass in my front yard the last time i was home. how the cliffs in the backyard are ringed with red lines of iron#separated out as the water leached through the sandstone. how every avaliable surface is stained green as organisms reach upward toward#the sun. and its beautiful and i dont kno y im crying. maybe its bc i cant just throw everything aside and chase that feeling. im not#allowed to feel it. im not allowed to talk abt it in the way i want. bc im afraid no one cares as much as me in the same way. bc when i#talk abt what i study its obscure and academic and so far from what most ppl think abt that they get intimidated and dont try to understand#so i just try not to talk abt it. or maybe im just afraid. bc i have my 1st TA meeting tomorrow and i meet with my new advisor friday#and im worried and im afraid i wont b able to do this in a way that doesnt make me feel like im dying. bc i like to b busy and i like having#a strict schedule but if u throw me that knife im going to stab myself with it bc i dont kno how wield it as a tool without hurting myself#sure ill get the job done. but at what cost? whatever. ill try to b better this time. try to hold tight to the wonder. but that feels like#reaching out into forever. knowing ill never make contact. not knowing what im reaching for.#the closest approximation to the feeling i can find is that scene in the terror. where go0dsir is asking if god is there. any god. and it#doesnt matter bc he can see god in the landscape. in an environment that's so harsh and barren that its killing him slowly in the worst of#ways and its beautiful. its still beautiful to him. there is wonder here. and im wasting my time laying in a dark room crying bc i put#myself into a container so constrictive that the surface snaps and i come spilling out as an angry liquid. smearing away into nothing#unrelated
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did i just spend $6 i probably should not have on peacock just so i can see fnaf again ?? yea maybe
#i have to be able to giggle and stim when i see matthew lillard u guys don’t know how hard i had to hold back in the theater😩😩#that’s my fuckin M A N okay i love him so much i need him!!!!!!!!!#anyways excited to watch fnaf a second time but this time in the comfort of my own home#and high as FUCK with whatever food i want to go with it :) i’m excited#also idk if any of my mutuals like fnaf but hiiiii hehe if u do. and if u dont and/or think i’m lame for liking fnaf then…..look away ok#u can pretend u never knew this abt me okay#also i am a pretty Average fnaf enjoyer like i don’t know ALL the lore i know like. such a small amount and also i haven’t played the games#on my own i’ve just watched my boy markiplier play them bc duh and also i haven’t seen All of the games either but i still enjoy everything#i love freddy too btw hes my fav out of all the animatronics :) i just think he’s a lil cutie and i want to be his bestie ok#A L SO i think i’m build different and that the animatronics wouldn’t hurt me and they’d wanna be besties so that’s that
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i can’t believe i managed to get fucking mono and didn’t even get it by doing anything fun
#mono glandular fever whatever the people who will see the joke will call it mono and it’s less clinical sounding#I need to shout about a lot of stuff now and if you do not know a bunch about what’s been happening already this will not make any sense#I’m just fucking. so [static] about how this term has gone bc this isn’t how it was meant to go#this year was meant to be good! it was going well enough already! I was genuinely happy and would’ve recovered from the bumps!#and it’s my last year in this fucking place and a good chunk of that time is just Gone now. eaten by this bullshit#I had so many plans! and I was actually doing them! and that’s collapsed now!#just on the kind of basic level there I was gonna do dnd and while we might get a few sessions Nobody least of all me#will have time to do much. and I was gonna try to do Some Kind Of Exercise I don’t know why the phrase work out sounds bad but that and like#didn’t happen! and now I have mono :) and I can’t even do ice hockey anymore#worst part abt that is that I didn’t and wouldn’t have noticed that I’ve been so much more tired than normal for the past month if it werent#for the fucking throat swelling#but like! I’m going home in two weeks bc I can’t stand being here any more than I absolutely have to now and I hate that! I want to be here!#I want to get back to my fucking life but that just Isn’t Happening now because of all this bullshit#and everything bar the mono has been stupid and preventable but I’m also pretty sure I Got the mono bc I was so stressed + run down already#I need things to be normal again when I come back in January but I don’t know how much it will ever be normal again in this flat#and on top of that I am So Behind on work. I can’t tell how much I should have done but I’m barely working. I’ve probably done no more than#like 10-15 hours a week? for the past three weeks and that’s honestly optimistic because it’s so hard to even get out of fucking bed#I wanna see my fucking friends but I haven’t been and the last time I saw someone was turning down a guy who surprise: Still Into Me#I was gonna do shit this weekend but then storm and being plagued so not wanting to go out in the storm#and this weekend was nice I had some time to myself which I haven’t had in ages but. I think I just miss everything really bad#I need to cook and it’s getting late and before I can cook I need to do a bunch of cleaning I’ve been putting off and I can’t Not do either#tonight I need to do both bc I don’t have food left and I literally can’t cook until I clean so I should go do that now#I’m terrified I’m losing something I can’t get back and will be later making decisions based on short term bullshit that fucked it all up#I’m gonna go clean while I still have something left in me#luke.txt
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Well, are you mine?
Pairings: Sukuna x fem reader
Summary- You're Yuuji Itadori's best friend since forever, and his older brother Sukuna is a grade A ass to you. After a nasty breakup with your ex, you text Yuuji who's out for the night, he gives you the go ahead to stay at his place. But it's only Sukuna there, and he is oddly comforting? You've had it bad for him forever, but little do you know, so has he, even if he doesn't show it, because Sukuna thinks Yuuji loves you (ahem, he's WAY wrong) Porn w/feelings, best friend's brother trope, Duo POVS
CW- Modern Sukuna, he's a gamer and tsundere af lol, this is SMUTTY asf, loss of virginity (don't mention much abt it aside from reader is one) Sukuna is ROUGH lol, oral sex (m and f recieving) overstimulation, dirty talk, Sukuna calls reader brat and slutty, lowkey breed kink, possessiveness, marathon sex lol. Sukuna is BAD AT FEELINGS lmaooo, but he whimpers? Reader- 20, Sukuna 25- 6.4k WC!
Comments/reblogs appreciated if you enjoy this one!
You’re walking out in that pathetic excuse for a tank top and the most revealing shorts that morning when Sukuna sees you, peeking up from his monitor, proceeding to get sniped like some damn noob when he sees your nipples perk up through the material. He curses loudly, slamming off his headset then, you look at him in surprise, lips parted just so.
“What’s wrong?” You ask, he glares at you then, standing up as he takes you in, irritated you have such an effect.
“What are you doing here? Yuuji isn’t even home until tonight.” He says with a glare, ruby eyes glinting, you tense just a bit, Sukuna is tall and intimidating, and constantly an asshole.
“He said it was fine, here’s the text.” You swipe up on your phone, he snorts as he looks at it.
“You have a teddy bear case? Stupid.” Your eyes narrow in irritation when he picks up the phone, scoffing as he sees the texts. “God. What a simp you’re making him.”
“What now? Am not even! He’s my best friend, not that you’d understand, you don’t even have any. You’re such an ass.” You snatch your phone back from him, earning his scowl.
“You’re an annoying brat, y’know that? If Yuuji didn’t simp so badly I wouldn’t have to deal with you.”
“Whatever! Ugh.”
“Why’d you need to come here anyway? Boyfriend piss you off?” You sigh, crossing your arms, just pressing your breasts up more for his view.
“He cheated on me.” Sukuna pauses then, hearing the hurt in your voice, seeing it on your pretty face, annoyingly pretty face.
“Shit.” Is all he manages, and you sigh, looking at him then, emotions in the back of your throat.
“That was mean of me to say, that you have no friends. I know you do… I’m sorry I said it.” His mouth opens, then closes, his brows lowering.
“You’re always bitchy to me, it doesn’t surprise me.”
“And you’re always an ass to me.”
“Tch, I’m not gonna fawn over you like your little best friend does, if that’s what you mean.”
“No, every time I stay or hang out you tell me you can’t wait for me to leave, or are just mean as shit.” Sukuna rolls his eyes, looking up at the ceiling then, it’s true he is mean to you constantly.
Every time you stay, he’s picking on you or making snide remarks, to the point he’s made you cry sometimes, and then felt like shit. Nothing was worse than seeing you cry, but he didn’t know what else to do, because you’re haunting his every dream, even last night he was stroking his cock to a stupid Instagram picture of you.
The thing is, Sukuna wants you, and wants you badly, so much it makes him pathetic, his little brother’s best friend, who Sukuna knows has had some stupid crush on since forever. Sukuna’s only five years older than you, but twenty just seems too young, you seem too inexperienced, too innocent and sweet, the last thing you needed was him around you.
And he knew you had some little crush on him, most of knowing him, you used to literally make doe eyes at him, he found it sort of cute at first, but now you’re a whole woman, walking around in nothing half the time. He was happy you got a boyfriend, despite the odd clench in his chest from hearing it, only because he wouldn’t have to see you as much.
So, the best course of action?
Make you hate him, and he thinks it’s worked, you don’t make doe eyes, you’re not fawning over him, or pathetically trying to flirt. No, you’re just as mean to him as he is to you now, god and you scowling and flipping him off? That turns him on more than fucking anything, unfortunately.
“Fuck him.” Sukuna says, and you’re shocked for a moment, as you stare up at the guy you’ve had it bad for since you can remember, Yuuji’s older brother, you thought he was so cool, you were always coming over more and more to see him.
Yuuji was the best friend in the world, so it wasn’t that you didn’t enjoy hanging out with him, it’s just your mind kept wandering, Sukuna was always a grump, but something shifted in the past couple of years, especially this year. He was downright mean and nasty to you, making jokes, pinching on you, ruffling your hair, rolling his eyes whenever you were near.
If his goal was to make you hate him, you don't, you just really can't stand him. Can't stand seeing him shirtless seeing the tattoos around his biceps, down his strong chest, hate seeing his stupid abs that have abs!?! Why does he have to be such an attractive ass, you don't know, but your crush hasn't gone away.
It's worse.
Last night you'd seen Sukuna was here when you'd used the key Yuuji let you have, he was crashed out on the couch sprawled out, movie ended, you'd covered him with a blanket and given him a pillow. In his sleep he almost looked sweet, you thought, having slept in the guest room, he'd swirled in your mind, your boyfriend having cheated hurt, but thankfully you hadn't taken that step with him…
No, you stupidly still wanted Sukuna as your first.
As if that would happen, he hates you so much clearly, and you have seen the girls he brought over, older and more experienced, more confident and worldly. You weren't there yet, especially when the man you're wanting doesn't see you as anything but a little brat.
“Sukuna, are you comforting me?” Sukuna scoffs.
“Of course I'm not, but also… he's a fucking idiot. You don't deserve someone who does that shit.” You blink back tears then, stepping to him, hugging him.
Sukuna freezes, as he inhales that scent, something floral and irritatingly delicious, your soft breasts pressing against his chest, your nipples taut under the tank top. You're tiptoeing, holding him around his chest, he grimaces, wanting to pick you up and drag you to his room, but he shoves at you.
“Annoying brat, off me god.” You shake your head, snuggling closer, when he realizes you're crying. It annoys him how you wrench his heart when you look up, tears falling out of your stupidly pretty eyes.
Did you have to affect him this way?
“Thank you, Kuna.”
“Don't call me that, ugh.” He places his huge hands at your waist to shove you off, but you gasp at it, taking over your waist, burning your skin then. He falters, his breath coming faster as he holds you there, just a little off of him, eyes going to your lips, tempting him to no end. “Stupid nickname.” He grumbles.
“I… you used to not mind it. What happened to make you hate me so much?” You whisper, hands slipping up his chest, so much revealed in the soft white shirt he's wearing, you feel his heart thudding under your hand.
“Don't hate you, just you're annoying.”
“How?”
“Just being here.”
“So I annoy you just existing?”
“Yes.” He speaks through clenched teeth, when you lean back, and he views your body. “Why do you fucking dress like that!?”
“It's comfy. What do you care, Kuna?”
“Stop it with the stupid nickname. Your… your body annoys me.” He is whispering now, hands slipping down your hips, you let this little sound out from the back of your throat that destroys him then.
“My body, what not your type? Don't wanna see it?”
“You're so fucking stupid.”
“How can a body piss you off? Ah!” Sukuna had you picked up now right on the kitchen counter, your breaths come in pants at getting handled like this, his big hands on your thighs, his eyes boring into you.
“All I can think about is all the ways I wanna fucking ruin you for any stupid boy you'll ever meet.” Your heart thuds in your chest, blinking rapidly as if you're in a fucking dream.
“Wh-what?” He moans softly, rough pads of his fingers slipping up your thighs, watching the goosebumps rise everywhere.
“Thinking how good your little pussy tastes, how pretty your tits must be, how your face would look fucked out.” You're moaning out loud when he finds you then, lips hovering just an inch from yours, he moans when he finds your slick cunt dripping, he laughs then, softly. “That wet for me? Haven't even done shit.”
“Shut up and touch me, please, Sukuna.” The way that his name sounds from your lips? Your eyes dilating? Your wet cunt on his fingers? His cock starts throbbing from touching you, watching your face when he shoves a finger in your hole, you grip him like a vise.
“Anyone ever made you cum? Any of your dumb boys?” You grip his wrist when his fingers curl in your gummy walls, finding that spot instantly and pressing on it, making you gasp as you gush down his fingers. “Fuck you're wet, why are you so stupid tight, fuckin feel you…”
“Don't know… I… Kuna, m’a v-virgin, ngh!” He yanks away then, panic on his face. “Don't stop, please.”
“A virgin, how the fuck?” You whine out as he backs off, sucking you off his fingers, his cheeks moaning, those crimson eyes dilated, the hottest thing you have ever seen. “Why do you taste so good? God I can’t stand you.”
“Kuna, please… just…”
“No, I won’t do that, I sure the fuck won’t take that. How are you even…”
“I’ve been waiting.” You murmur, earning his brows raised, barring you on either side with his strong arms, leaning close.
“You what now?”
“For you, stupid.” Sukuna cups your face with one hand, hot as your overheated cheek, so close your breaths mingle.
“No way, I’m not doing that, it’s bad enough I even touched you, now you’ll be all I can think about, annoying little brat ruining me.” His words hit, your pussy throbbing around nothing then, you lean your head and kiss his palm, melting him as you do. “Don’t do shit like that.”
“Do you want me?” You ask, thighs on either side of him.
“What do you think?” He grabs your hips, and you feel him, huge and hard against you over the fabric of his pants and your shorts, he grabs you tight, you’re looking at those lips, usually in a smirk or a sarcastic grin, so pouty right now, begging for your kisses.
“Doesn’t have to be anything serious-”
“How can you say that? No, it would be.” You would end him the moment he got inside you, he already knows it, tasting your sweet arousal on his tongue, looking at the color your cheeks are tinged, imagining your face as his cock leaks precum against his boxers.
“I can be… casual…” You’re grinding on him, you’ve never felt this, the longing for him in this way, you’re jutting your chin up, trying to kiss him, but he pulls his face away, shaking his head. “Kiss me.”
“No way.” He won’t be able to stop, at least at this point he can rip himself off of you, taking several breaths, turning away from how delectable you look sitting with your thighs spread on his counter.
“I’ve seen all the women you bring over the years, why not me? You clearly are casual about it?” You hate the emotions in your throat. “Am I not…”
“If you say some dumb shit like you’re not attractive, I swear you’ll piss me off. Look at you.”
“You won’t look at me.”
“I can’t right now, I won’t just fuck you, especially your… first I… can’t. Just drop it, just forget it even happened.” You jump off the counter then, breathing fast, heart nearly pounding out of your chest.
“I’m sorry I asked.” He curses as you run off to the room, his head is spinning from your scent, your taste, the images now burned in his brain, your slick still on his fingertips.
He could never just take your virginity, what if he hurt you? What if he hurt you emotionally, he sure his entire life has never had a real girlfriend, he’s had hookups and booty calls, that’s it. And for the past year he’s pictured you half the time when he’s played with himself, when he’s slept with them, but he can’t do that, you deserved better than him surely.
You’re all dressed now, you stand there and look at him, he hates the tears that have streaked down your face, your bag on your shoulder. “You don’t have to leave, just leave me alone.” He says then, and you laugh without humor, shaking your head.
“I can’t face you after that, too embarrassing. Don’t even tell Yuuji I came over, please.” You go to leave and Sukuna stops you, a hand on the knob above you, his hard body towering behind you, you feel so small next to him, god who didn’t?
Sukuna runs his fingers down your spine, you shiver from the sensation, he leans close, his lips against your ear. “You don’t have to be embarrassed.”
“No?” You look at him then, noses touching, so close.
“Everyone wants me, it’s fine brat.” He smirks, you glare then, smacking at his hand on the knob and pulling open the door.
“Fuck you, Sukuna.” You say, he grins at you like the asshole he is, but when you shut the door behind you, you don’t see him cursing himself, forehead resting on the door, his stomach sick.
Why’d he do that?
Why couldn’t he just give you what you wanted, what he wants so badly?
He’s terrified to disappoint you, but he already has.
*****
Two Weeks Later
“Please stay for dinner!? Please, please, please!” Yuuji begs you, literally on his hands and knees bowing, you giggle, shaking your head.
“No, I can’t… your brother-”
“He won’t bother you, he just yells at the game, it’s fine! Never used to bother you, and I miss you.” He looks up with sweet honey eyes, making you sigh then, nodding, he jumps up all excited. “Perfect, I need to show you the recipe my brother Cho showed me!”
“How is he? I miss him.” You say softly, Yuji’s other brother lived far away now, he was a sweetheart, much unlike Sukuna.
“He’s doing so well, his band is so popular now. I’ll tell him you said hi! You know he thought you were so pretty.”
“Cho did? No way.”
“Well who doesn’t, even Sukuna does.” You pause then, faltering as you look at the kitchen, where he’d had a long, thick finger inserted in your little hole. Where he’d tasted you.
“Um, I doubt all that. He hates me.” Yuuji shakes his head, checking his phone then. “Your girl?”
“We’re not dating yet, just talking, but we are going to a movie tonight. You know her, yeah?”
“Yes, she was so sweet in school.”
Sukuna walks in as Yuuji shows you their texts, his eyes darting to you, taking in your little pleated skirt and top with some dumb anime character you liked on it, you looked fucking adorable. So cute he hates it, so he scowls at you, earning your scowl right back, as Yuuji looks between you both.
“Woah, calm down. Sukuna, I have a date!” Sukuna’s heart drops, Yuuji surely would be good enough for you, he’s sweet (annoyingly sweet) and devoted. Choso and Yuuji were sweet, he’s not sure how he got all the asshole of the family, but he supposed it came from taking care of them both, being the oldest.
He should be a little relieved, you’d leave him alone now, right? You wouldn’t give him that look, he would finally know you’re untouchable, he clears his throat now, hating that his heart feels like it’s ripped in half. Just two weeks ago, the last time he saw you, he’d felt your heat, he’d had you begging for him, but he turned you down.
He did this.
“Finally, you two are going on a date, huh?” He says, trying to act casual, and Yuuji snorts, shaking his head, as your eyes go wide.
“Us, no! We’re too close, we’d never ruin our friendship. Though I sure asked her out a lot in school.”
“You tried.” You say with a little smile, as Sukuna stands there dumbfounded. “You’d never have liked dating me, I hate your zombie movies too much.”
“You have the worst taste, it’s true. Now, Sukuna, it's this girl…” Yuuji starts going on, and Sukuna can barely hold his composure, as he shows him a picture of her, as he’s rambling.
He was convinced his brother was in love with you, it’s a huge reason he has pushed you so far away, he’d never dishonor him like that, even if he knew you didn’t feel the same. He struggles to focus now, as you look down nervously, as if you could hear his thoughts, feel what he wants so badly.
“Thought you simped for the brat here.” He says, Yuuji laughs.
“No, she’s just a beautiful best friend.” He kisses your cheek and you smile warmly at him, it lights up your face, doing the annoying thing to his heart again. “If you’re not so mean, maybe she’ll stay for dinner.”
“Me, mean? Never.” You and Yuuji both roll your eyes at him.
“I don’t have to stay, Sukuna, I was just stopping by.” Your words break him down, remembering how mean he was, and he didn’t apologize, why should he though?
He should have said something.
You’re feeling his gaze on you, as he runs a hand through his pastel locks, the same shade as Yuuji but his are longer, messier, he has a little stubble on his cheeks you don’t remember seeing. As you further look, you see the dark circles under his eyes, how tense he is when he opens his mouth, just to close it, and re open it again, as if he doesn’t know what to say.
Sukuna is… on edge?
“You can stay, what do I care? Used to your ass around anyway.” He walks to his room then, and Yuuji excitedly talks to you, but your mind is in that room, with that asshole of a man.
The dinner is awkward as fuck, and when Yuuji leaves to get ready for his date, you hastily start washing your dish, you feel his gaze on you, he’s leaned back in the chair with his legs wide. You don’t dare say a word to him, you’re too mortified still, too confused, his one touch with no kiss has done more than anything you’ve experienced so far.
Awakened shit that was already there.
Made it worse.
“So you two never…” Sukuna trails off, leaving the question open, you look back at him as you dry your hand with a dish towel.
“Never what, dated? Of course not.”
“I thought the kid had it bad for you.” His voice is quiet, you clear your throat, shaking your head then.
“No, I tried to tell you, just friends. Yuuji is sweet and I love him, but I’ve never felt that way… like I…” Like with Sukuna. “Yeah, anyway, the girl is so sweet. I’ll head out when he does, don’t worry.”
Sukuna’s standing next to you before you can blink, he’s wearing this black dress shirt unbuttoned just so, revealing too much of his strong chest, pecs that are ridiculous, your eyes keep darting to it. To those collar bones, the black lines running along, making you wonder just where his tattoos stop, you physically back up, looking away then, unable to even look in his eyes.
“Running away, brat? Scared?” He raises a brow, you blink then, shaking your head. “Yeah you are.”
“Scared of what?”
“I’m ready guys! Oh… are you two gonna… hang out?” Yuuji asks with a little smile, you’re blushing then, shaking your head.
“Hang out with him? What, no.” Sukuna’s jaw clenches now, you smile as you feel how mad he is. “What?”
“What’s so wrong with me?”
“You’re an ass.”
“You’re a-”
“Okay, dumb question, don’t kill each other.” Yuuji does a little spin then, showing off his outfit, you giggle. “How do I look?”
“Amazing!” He kisses your cheek and hugs you then, just the sight of that alone has Sukuna infuriated, imagining kissing you.
What do your lips feel like?
Would they end him?
“She’s staying, she’s gonna… game with me.” Sukuna says then, you and Yuuji both look at him with shock. “Yeah, brat wants some lessons on Call of Duty.”
“Lessons? You game?” You want to burst out in laughter, the only video games you play involve very hot men on your phone.
Sukuna eyes you though, so intense it’s hard to breathe, you smile then, a little shy almost, realizing what he wants even though he’s not saying it. He wants to spend time with you, this shithead, this asshole of a man, he’s… he’s trying to express that he wants you to stay. And, to stay alone with him.
“I do wanna learn though, plus we should try to get along, hmm?” You look right at Sukuna, he’s not smirking or grinning, he’s vulnerable for a moment. His full lips parted just so in surprise.
“This makes me so happy. I love you both so much! If he pisses you off too bad, just text me.”
“What would you do, kid?” He demands.
“I’d… well I’d tell you to be nice.”
“I love you too.” You tell Yuuji then, and he runs off now to his date, leaving you alone in the kitchen again, with Sukuna. “Video games, huh?”
“Video games.” He answers, and before you know it, he’s right in front of you, gently holding you by your face, in a sweet manner you’d never think he could. “I want you, fuck I’ve wanted you for a long time now… but I thought you…” He’s trailing off, words escaping him.
“You thought Yuuji loved me, and you couldn’t do that.” You answer, everything starting to click now.
“That and you irritate the shit out of me. I don’t like what I feel.”
“What do you feel, Sukuna?” You step forward, arms wrapping around his thick waist then, he gulps visibly.
“Too much.” Is all he says, eyeing your lips hungrily.
“Maybe I feel too much. It’s scary, yeah?”
“I’m not scared of shit.” He’s leaning closer, you’re aching for him to just kiss you, licking your lower lip, tantalizing him as it turns glossy.
“If you’re not scared, then why are you so afraid to kiss me?” You whisper the words, his eyes flutter shut, a hand gripping your hair then at the nape of the neck, pulling it just so.
“Because I won’t stop there, I won’t stop till I’ve kissed every part of your body, till I’ve licked every part, until you’re cumming all over me.” Your little whimper from the back of your throat ruins him, he slams his lips down then, and it’s over.
Your kiss is messy, it’s desperate and sloppy, your tongues dripping saliva as he lifts you suddenly, you cling to him, thighs squeezing narrow hips, arms around his neck, your hand drifts through his undercut just so. He’s moaning as he kisses you so brutally, carrying you until you’re against a wall, pressing you there, you gasp for a breath while he starts licking down your throat.
“Kuna…” You’re arching against him, clinging tightly as he bites your throat, his big hands gripping your ass and squeezing.
“Hate that nickname. Hate how much I like it. Fuck you.”
You scowl, pulling away. “Fuck me for what?”
“Being so stupidly pretty. Driving me crazy forever. Fuck you for tasting so good, too.” You’re opening your mouth to protest, but he’s already carrying you to his bed, unceremoniously plopping you down on it, yanking off your top then, your breasts heave as your breaths come quickly, and he eyes you. “Fuck you for perfect tits.”
“Fuck you for being a dick.” You counter, but he’s gripping your breasts in his huge hands, squeezing them, sucking on your nipples, your hands enwrap in his pastel locks as he looks up at you, saliva strings dripping from your breasts. “Fuck that… feels s’good…”
“Fuck your sexy little moans, too.” You can’t be mad, not when he’s got your skirt off you, not when he’s ripping your panties to shreds, not when he eyes your pussy hungrily, shaking his head as he nips your inner thigh. “And fuck if you don’t have the most perfect pussy, what the…”
“Kuna, you’re c-crazy.” You whisper, he laughs then, breath tickling your cunt as he parts your plump lips, inhaling you like some psycho, burying his face. “Kuna!”
“Shut up, brat. Gonna ruin you for anyone.” He’s talking to your pussy it seems now, strong fingers pressing your thighs apart as he swipes a stripe up between your lips, licking you all the way from your hole to your clit, the sensation has your hips jerking, which he pins in place. “Ah- ah brat, stay still.”
“S’too much… I… oh my god.” Sukuna is devouring your pussy, there’s no other term for it, the way he laps at your pussy with his stupidly long tongue, his eyes bright red when they look at you, when he flicks it to your clit. You’re soaking him, hands pulling at his hair, earning his groan against you. “Wh-what… you’re… I…”
“Shut up, brat, I want to hear you cum, not run your mouth.” You should be offended, but you can’t be, not when he’s fucking your velvety walls with his tongue now, pinching your clit with two of his fingers, the stimulation far too much, you feel it, the pressure building in your core, spreading.
“Kuna!” You’re screaming that nickname, he doesn’t care in fact he loves hearing it, loves your pussy drooling around his tongue, he feels your walls tighten around his wet muscle then, looking up at your face, mouth open wide in an O, eyes rolled back, your hands yanking his hair out, and he knows you’re cumming for him.
He’s grinding his cock on the mattress, aching to be inside you, but he also wants to make you beg for it, wants to make you pathetic for him, only him. You’re cumming so blinding, stars bursting everywhere behind your eyelids, your body convulsing as you’re gushing all over his handsome face. You feel his grin against you when he pulls back his tongue, slipping two fingers inside.
“Hear how slutty she is, huh? So slutty thought you were a good girl.” He huffs, you’re reeling from cumming so hard when he quickly finds your g spot, as if he knew your body forever. “Can’t talk? Pathetic.”
“F-fuck… you I… it’s too much!” You whine, he’s scissoring those two fingers in and out of your now soppy little hole, you do hear it, the wetness so fucking loud, he’s licking your clit now, sucking it into his mouth, you’re pushing over the edge again. “Both!? I c-can’t!”
“Mmm, you can, cum again, pretty slut. Lemme drink it.” You’re trying to close your thighs, but he forces them open, smacking at one, shaking his head. “Again, y’can do it.”
“S’too much…” You’re whining over and over, it is so much pleasure you have trouble comprehending a thought, when he crooks his fingers in your gooey walls, and sucks your clit again, you’re shattering.
“Mmm, there you go, you can do it can’t ya?” He’s cooing to you, smirk on his features, that are coated in your slick.
“Please!” You’re yanking him up, he chuckles a bit, letting you, hovering over you with his strong arms, as he wipes your chin with one hand.
“You’re fucking drooling, god, fucked out already? Can you handle me?” He raises a brow, you want to retort, but you are fucked out, you came more than you ever have, now you’re opening your mouth and closing it. “Can’t talk, stupid brat?”
“F-fuck off… ass…” You manage, earning him more hard for you, kissing you deeply, you taste yourself then, but even more when he shoves his fingers in your pussy, scooping out more arousal, shoving them in your mouth.
“Suck them like a good girl, there ya fuckin go, pretty little slut.” You’re in tears from overstimulation as you suck him eagerly. “So ya can follow directions, ha… didn’t know that mouth could shut.”
“Shut it.” You whisper, pulling back with a pop, he falters at your seductive words, shaking his head.
“You sucked dick?”
“N-no.” You admit, he sighs then.
“Look, maybe not the first time.”
“Sukuna, are you being caring?” You tease, his brows lower, lips pressing in a firm line.
“No! Just… you need a lot of workup and… will you stop smiling like that!? Stop looking at me that way.”
“Like what?” You tease, hands unbuttoning him shakily, he pulls back then, taking a breath as he looks down at your pretty body, and you reveal more of his chiseled frame.
“Like… that. Like you’re…”
“In love with you?” His jaw tenses again.
“Shut it, now.”
“I am, stupid ass. Don’t know why.” You sit up when he stands, eagerly unbuttoning his pants, his heart races like he’s the virgin, brain short circuiting when you slip them down, his boxers following.
“I… you… shouldn’t…” He doesn’t remember what he was saying, you’re too sexy, too pretty, your words he’s never thought he’d hear. “You don’t love me. Don’t say it.”
“I do, and I will say it.”
“Then why did you ask for… casual!?”
You’re blushing when his cock is revealed, and it’s massive, thick and heavy, his reddened tip drooling precum. It’s so big you can’t understand how it would fit, your hand barely circles the girth, looking so tiny against him, he’s ridiculously big. You nervously look up, seeing his eyes dilated, his lashes lowered, Sukuna’s hands come to enwrap in your loose hair, gripping it.
“Answer me, brat. Now.”
“Because if that’s how you want to, I’ll do it. I want you, I have wanted you.” He exhales, jerking when you lick his tip.
“I don’t want to be casual with you, okay!?” You smile, he rolls his eyes. “Don’t you dare smile like that. Doesn’t mean I’m gonna be all mushy and dumb.”
“I don’t want to be casual either.” He cups your face with his other hand, groaning when your hot mouth starts sucking him in, there’s too much of him, you barely get the tip and an inch or two, swirling your tongue, tasting the salty precum, his musky scent filling your nostrils.
“F-fuck…” Sukuna’s stuttering, you swear you hear him whine, but you wonder if it’s a trick of your ears, his hand on your face shaky when he starts thrusting his cock in your mouth, eyes locked on yours. “Stupidly pretty brat.”
He might as well say ‘my love’ or ‘darling’ because your body reacts, already having had so much pleasure you’re wet again, when he yanks you more on his cock, shoving it deeper. You’re breathing through your nose as he fucks your throat, as he’s gasping and moaning out your name, you finally think you have a rhythm when he pulls you off.
“Was it okay?” You ask nervously, he shoves you on your back, between your thighs in an instant then, you gasp for breath.
“Okay? Sucked it like some pro. You lyin’ t’me?” You giggle, shaking your head and catching his gaze.
“Watch porn though.”
“Porn ain’t shit to what I’m gonna do.” You’re crying out as his tip leaks precum along your clit, biting your lip when he’s pressing into your tight ring of muscles, your nails dig into his back, feeling the taut skin. “If we do this, you’re never fucking anyone, never. Fuckin got me brat?”
You blink a bit, as his tip presses in, stretching your skin. “You love me too, don’t you Kuna?” You tease, he scoffs, but then nods just a bit, and kisses you, pressing past your barrier, you gasp at it, at the pain, being stretched by him. “Ow! Shit!”
“Shit… y-you’re too tight… loosen the fuck up, brat.” You glare up at him, throbbing from the pain now, he’s barely holding on.
“I can’t. Y-you’re an idiot!”
“Running your mouth?”
“You’re too big!”
“Fuck…” He eases back, leaning up on an elbow, hand slipping down and rolling on your clit. “Relax, annoying ass. Even your pussy is stubborn.”
“You’re… so… ah!” His circles are rough, calloused thumb pressing on your little engorged clit, when he sinks in again.
“Relax, now.” His husky voice gives you that order, you do so then, exhaling and looking into his eyes, that are so dark they look black, you nod weakly. “You… are you alright?”
“You care, aw.” You can’t help it, you’re grinning all fucked up.
He glares again, this time thrusting deep, you scream out at it, he moans, biting your neck again, big hand gripping your thigh and lifting it higher. “Fucking feel her, gripping me my god. She’s mine, huh?”
“Y-yours, Kuna.” Your little whimper destroys him, your cunt pulsing around him, stretching and getting wetter to accommodate, and he begins actually fucking you then, you’re so wet, hot and tight he can’t stand how good it feels, he’s already dreaming of breeding this little cunt as you convulse under him.
“F-fucking love it, slutty little pussy.” His words along with his tip dragging against that spot in your walls send you reeling, you hear it now the skin smacking, his balls slapping your ass, wetness squelching when he pulls back, gripping your hips with a wicked grin. “Look, fucking your guts up, huh?”
He forces your chin to look down at the ridiculous bulge in your tummy, you gasp at it, clinging to his sheets now, so full when he sinks more of his cock in you, so much you don’t think he’ll fit fully, he’s already slamming your cervix. His hands slip up your hips, yanking you down further, you scream out at how good it feels.
“Ruin you, no one… n-no one’s gonna do this, yeah?” He leans over just a bit, fucking you harder, thrusts so rough your tits jiggle, your body moves. “Use you as my little fuck toy, pretty toy, so fucked out and stupid.”
“Ngh!” You are stupid, your eyes are rolling back, you’re drooling, incapable of doing anything but pulsing on his cock now, of desperately clinging to him.
“S-say it, brat.” He’s shoved his cock so deep, your cunt is dripping down his veiny length, you’re whimpering desperately, nodding. “That’s it, cum f’me, lemme feel her clamp down. F-fuck, there she is…”
Now Sukuna is full of nonsense, you’re both mumbling as he does ruin you for anyone, as you ruin him for anyone, he’s kissing you sloppy, his tattooed hand wraps your throat. He squeezes just so, you’re fading as he rails your cunt, muttering filthy, nasty words, you were a virgin, but he sure the fuck wasn’t taking it easy.
Well, you didn’t think he was, Sukuna actually is taking it easy.
He’ll wait before he goes where he wants to, but you so eagerly open your mouth for his spit, desperately cumming all over his cock then. “Made f’me, pussy she’s m-mine, hmm?”
You’re getting choked, swallowing spit, and this asshole asks you a question? You manage a nod, as he slows finally, releasing your throat, hand slipping up your titty to pinch your nipple, hips rolling just so, jerking his cock against your bruised cervix. You’re a stupid mess under him, sputtering when he finally slows his rhythm, when he thickens impossibly in you.
“I’m never pulling out of you, on something?” He huffs, you blink in confusion as he grins. “Asked ya a question brat.”
“On… pill… mmm…” He moans now, exhaling.
“Good, hah-” He thrusts deep again, you’re fluttering around his length. “Wouldn’t pull out anyway. I’d knock you the fuck up, breed your slutty cunt.” You’re done for, when he starts spurting cum, crying out in your ear, taking over everything with his huge body on top of you, in you, around you. He’s cumming so much it’s ridiculous, coating your walls, filling your belly full. “Oh f-fuck… fuckin love you…”
You blink as you come to, as your cum and his are pushed out with each thrust, your thighs shaking, head buzzing from pleasure. He looks at you then, eyes desperate, biting his lower lip while you put it together. “You love me, Kuna?”
“Shut up.” You smile when he kisses you again, and well… you don’t just fuck once for your first time.
You’re fucking in the shower to ‘clean up’ and then he’s got you up on the counter, devouring your pussy again, seeing how many times you can cum, soon he’s got his game going, showing you the controls as you’re cockwarming him. You’re so sore no amount of ibuprofen will fix it, but you want more, you’re grinding on him as you wear his headset, getting shot hopelessly by the players.
That’s where Yuuji finds you all, your tits out, Sukuna half naked, big hands on your hips with his cock inside you, you gasp then, covering your tits with your hands, but Sukuna just laughs, kissing on your shoulders. Yuuji covers his face, turning away quickly in embarrassment.
“K-kuna… s-stop…” You whisper, but Yuuji waves at you all, covering his eyes with a smile.
“You’re getting along!”
“Um… yeah.” You manage, and Sukuna’s laughing so hard it’s annoying, he doesn’t pay attention to your glare.
“Cool… um… bye.” He hides in his room, you try to get up, but Sukuna has you pinned down, tilting your head and kissing you.
“You’re insane, Sukuna.”
“You love that shit.”
���Shush. Show me the… g-game…”
The teammates are very curious why Sukuna started sucking at Call of Duty that day, but he has his new very annoying girlfriend to blame, she’s just squeezing his cock too good.
A/N I really have been feeling some Sukuna latelyyy, I hope ya'll enjoyed the smut aha!! <3
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All my sukuna oneshots hereee
#sukuna x reader#sukuna x you#sukuna x y/n#sukuna smut#ryomen sukuna#ryomen x reader#sukuna ryomen smut#jjk sukuna#jjk smut#jjk x reader smut#jjk x reader#jjk x you#sukuna x female reader#jujustu kaisen
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