#i just wanted to explore a bit of trauma that seemed interesting and then it turned into this

[pynkhues]

I am very very curious about that tower scene because Sam said in an interview that he didn't think Lestat was at the tower voluntarily--so if Armand put him there, how much of Louis' memory of that scene is accurate? Lestat looks very well put-together for a prisoner, and how is he being kept there? So much about that scene felt intentionally odd (even, and you touched on this in your fic, that Lestat says that he wasn't kept in the room with the corpses/"disappointments", whereas he'd told Louis and Claudia that he was kept in a room with corpses).

I'm really curious too, anon! It definitely feels like one that's going to be revisited, probably in more ways than one given Magnus' tower is such a vital location across The Vampire Lestat, and it makes sense that Sam would say that too given Lestat's not there by choice in the book. Like you said, Armand takes him there after the trial (and pushes him out the window to debilitate him further) and I'm curious as to how much of that the show keeps. They've changed a few elements of that sequence already that I don't think can be reversed - like Claudia's dress ending up with Louis for instance, not Lestat - and the bigger fact of Louis seeing Lestat then at all when in the book Armand tells him Lestat died in the theatre fire even though he knows he didn't).

You're right though that it's an odd scene, both between how good Lestat looked (but then Louis' memories of how he looked at the trial too were coloured by other emotions given the revisited scenes at the end showed how unwell he actually looked) and that change in what Lestat tells Louis about where he was kept in Magnus' tower feels pointed given 2.08 spends quite a bit of time pointing out its own deliberate inconsistencies with s1 moments.

I think like a lot of these scenes, Louis' memory of it will be a partial truth, but it lacks the context that we have (and he now, at least, has some of). I also kiiind of imagine Lestat and Armand are probably talking to each other too with the mind link in that scene, but obviously we're not privvy to if that's happening or what it might entail yet.

I can't wait to see what they do with it.

[ambrosiagourmet]

I've been thinking about Laios' succubus lately. Mulling it over a bit.

Because I've seen these pages brought up a fair bit, but almost entirely in the context of shipping (on all sides, really). And I really want to understand what they are doing for the story beyond that.

When I went back to reread the scene and section, a few things caught my interest: the way Laios responds to both forms of his succubus, the themes of the volume the chapter is found in, and the other events of the chapter itself.

So let's dive into those three things, and what I think they say about the succubus scene's purpose.

Laios is never fully frozen by the succubus

So. If you compare Marcille and Chilchuck's reactions...

to Laios':

-

There is a difference. Sure, the basics may look the same once it turns into Scylla Marcille, but even then, it functions differently.

Chilchuck and Marcille are completely frozen once they catch sight of their succubus. Izutsumi, as well, isn't able to look away, and completely freezes up once her 'mom' starts talking to her. As Chilchuck describes, "just looking at them makes you unable to move."

And yet, Scylla Marcille has to actively convince Laios to comply. He even looks away from her at one point!

Laios accepts this succubus, but he is never actually helpless to it in the same way. Taken in? Convinced? Sure, at least enough to let things happen that he probably should question more than he does. But magically compelled? Not really. Not the same way as everyone else is. So that's interesting. But let's move on for now.

2. Volume 9 is all about drive and desire

I don't often look at chapters within the context of the volume they are included in, but I think there's some really fun things to be found with that perspective in mind.

For one, volume 9 starts with an exploration of what desire brought Laios to the dungeon:

And ends with a question of what desire brought Laios to the dungeon:

It's also very concerned in general with questions of why people do what they do. Why they are in the dungeon, why they are with the people they are with, why they stay, what they fight for.

In addition to Laios, we see it with Marcille...

Izutsumi

Kabru

and Mithrun

Hell, we even get it for the demon!

It's certainly not the only volume concerned with desires and motives, but it is particularly focused on these ideas.

The succubus scene fits quite well into the ongoing question about desires, especially Laios' desires. It is even placed at an interesting spot within the volume. The volume is six chapters long, and the scene takes place at the start of the 4th chapter. It's almost smack-dab in the middle.

With all this in mind, it is interesting that, with both versions of the succubus Marcille, it's not totally clear which parts of her Laios is rejecting.

The first version of Marcille looks human, but Laios attacks when he identifies her as a monster. The second Marcille looks like a monster, but he seems to believe that she is the real (human)(ish) person that he knows. So is he rejecting the monster at first, and then accepting the person? Or is he rejecting humanity and only interested in the monstrous?

Something to consider as we look at the next point...

3. the rest of the chapter is a seduction, too

This is one of those things that might not be apparent on a first reading, but is crystal clear on a revisit. We see the succubus try and charm Laios over 7 pages, and then see the Winged Lion do the same thing for the next 19.

Much like the succubus, it offers the mingling of monsters and humans. Much like the succubus, it offers belonging.

(and this is the point where I absolutely must also link this post by fumifooms on the succubus, which has some great ideas on how the scene is informed by Laios' trauma and desire for acceptance!!!)

But, back to the point. The Winged Lion wants to feed on Laios just as much as the succubus did, and it uses similar strategies to try and make that happen. Though this chapter isn't really the turning point for the next Lord of the Dungeon (it is Marcille who will, eventually, become the Lion's next victim), it certainly behaves like it is.

Laios is convinced. The succubus gets its meal. By the end of the volume, the reader begins to understand how concerning his desires are. Together, it is all very good at building up that sense of dread and pending disaster, as we see exactly how and why Laios might just fall into the Lion's open arms and bring about the end of the world.

-

So that's the three things I noticed. But there's still something I want to touch on by looking at the way these observations overlap, and what they reveal, together.

As I said, by the end of the volume, you can feel the tension growing. Just as Kabru and Mithrun do, you look back for an answer to the questions that have been built, chapter by chapter: why is Laios here? Where will his loyalties fall? This chapter, and scene, seem to prove the inevitable truth: he will choose the monster, of course. He will choose the seductive, easy power of the Winged Lion.

But the details of what actually happens tell different story: one in which the Lion is wrong.

First, as a reminder - even in Scylla Marcille mode, the succubus never fully entrances Laios. It convinces him, but it doesn't have him completely under its thrall.

Similarly, in the dream, the Lion does convince Laios to embrace the world he is offering. But even within that dream, Laios continues to ask questions that will be vital to him later. It is because of those questions that Laios comes to a new understanding about Thistle.

And it's this realization that he cites later as part of his reason for refusing the Lion's offer.

He is thinking through things the entire time, just like he continues to question the succubus even after it turns into Scylla Marcille.

Laios also expresses an interesting reason for why he wants to see the future of this world. He's not just invested because it would mean people liking what he likes, or him getting to spend time with monsters. The thought that comes immediately before his acceptance is about what he wants for monsters and people.

I don't think it's a coincidence that this statement - "we're living beings that share the same world, but all we can do is keep killing each other" - can apply to the various humans races just as much as it does to humans and monsters. The thing he is thinking about here isn't just a matter of his personal daydreams. It's an idea that underpins every conflict in the story.

Laios caring about how people as well as monsters in this manner is something that the Lion gets wrong every time. Even at the end, he still frames Laios' desires entirely around hating people and loving monsters.

The Lion has heard him express an opinion about the future of the world! It happened right there in the dream, right in front of him! He just didn't take it seriously, and didn't view it through any lens other than "Laios likes monsters more".

He's convinced that he understands how to get to Laios. Maybe the Lion can't truly see everything, or maybe his vision into everyone's deepest desires has made it hard for him to realize how much choice still matters. That people can, and do, choose which desires to act on, and how to act on them.

Whatever the case, he's wrong about Laios, and the story shows us this over and over again.

After all, look at how the succubus interaction plays out:

A monster uses Marcille to appeal to Laios...

He realizes that something about the situation is wrong, and rejects her.

It changes strategies, and makes new offer: to turn him into a monster.

It also assures him that his friends are, or will be, taken care of.

He accepts. Or rather, allows the monster to have its way with him.

But Laios is not as helpless as he initially appears, and what the Lion thinks is a successful seduction also contains the seed of an idea that will allow Laios to later resist him.

We even get to see Izutsumi playing a similar role in both instances, as the one person fully able to take action in the face to the illusion.

The story lays out what is going happen, and then explicitly tells us that the demon and the succubus are thematically related.

The chapter performs a great sleight of hand here - everything about it seems to indicate that Laios is doomed give in to the option to have his deepest desires realized. But if you look closer, it also contains the evidence that he won't. There's a lot more going on for him.

Yes, he still falls for obvious tricks. He is still extremely into monsters, and he still doesn't feel like he fits in with other people. He may, deep down, crave to surrender to the monstrous - to let it absorb him. But he questions more than he seems to. He considers more than people realize. He cares so much more than anyone gives him credit for.

And I think this is part of why we see the succubus called back to so many times, especially with the wolf head addition to his Monster Form, which he specifically added due to his encounter with the Scylla Marcille.

This all stays with Laios. It doesn't just foreshadow the path of the story, it is fundamental to how and why he walks that path. It's not about him choosing monsters, and it's not about him choosing people. It's about how he considers both, and cares about both.

And it's about the forces that think they already know his answer. Mithrun and Kabru. The Winged Lion. The succubus.

It's about how they are wrong.

[angstandhappiness]

HOLY MOLEY THIS HITS HARD

LMK Analysis: The Circlet Scene

"I've never let anyone dictate my destiny in the past and I'm not about to start now. None of us are! We can't change who we were yesterday or in a past life or a hundred lifetimes ago. We live with the choices we've made but what matters is the choices we make right now. Only we decide who we are and what we do with the power we have!"

"Nice hero speech bud, but you know better deep in your hearts, you don't believe a word of that."

So. That happened.

The circlet is some recurring imagery in LMK, but this scene hit really, suspiciously hard.

First of all, the ink clone emphasizes the concept of "role" when speaking to Wukong, all the while removing the circlet on its head and spinning it effortlessly. The same one he could never willingly remove.

The Monkey King, when on the Journey to the West, was forcibly inserted into a role that didn't fit. Any time he made a choice to step outside that role as defined by Tripataka, he was punished harshly with the headache/torture device strapped to his head that he couldn't get off.

That's some trauma.

Just as Wukong is finishing his rallying heroic speech about choice, he is abruptly reminded that more often than not, he had no choice in the matter for what he used his power for and who he was supposed to be. Be a good little monkey who takes the verbal abuse (because according to JTTW, often no one believed his words of a demon in diguise) and take the physical abuse when you try to step outside of that role and use your power against those against you.

His destiny was dictated from the moment he had that put on, and even now he is kludged into a role he wants to escape from without much control over it at all, always having to be what other people either want or need him to be.

Sun Wukong is stuck in the role of a Hero, constantly forced into being the invincible, infallible paragon persona due to his power, giving him little choice. He tried to escape that with retirement, but it caught up with him.

So in essence, he still has a metaphorical circlet strapped to his head that he can't remove without incredible pain and suffering occurring, but also actively causes him the same thing.

The thing is? Wukong was always trying to go at it alone.

Now? He actively has friends trying to help, if only he would learn to let them in a bit more.

[blitzwhore]

So. Stolas is an alcoholic. That much is very clear at this point in the show and has been for a while now. He binge-drinks to cope with depression and with his life problems at large.

What's interesting is that he's far from the only character in Blitzø's life who is an alcoholic. In fact, substance abuse seems to be a recurring theme in the show. At least three other people Blitzø was or is really close with (potentially four, if we count his father) have struggled with substance abuse: Verosika, Barbie, and Fizz.

And the show has made a very clear point that both Verosika and Barbie have been in rehab. Not just that, but it's also emphasised that they're both still struggling with addiction (Verosika still drinks at her concerts, "clutches onto Beelzejuice bottles like they're the last cock in hell", and writes magazine articles about binge drinking being sexy; Barbie still peddles heroine, though not H8). Clearly, for both of them, this is an ongoing issue presently in the show.

So, with all of that being said, I recently saw someone theorise that, in a future season, Stolas is going to go to rehab, too.

I thought it was certainly a possibility, and one that I would personally love to see explored. So I've been thinking about it... and I remembered this:

The beginning of Unhappy Campers, and Blitzø breaking into rehab to go visit Barbie.

Now, I think a lot of people (myself included) felt surprised and a bit disappointed the first time we watched this episode, because our initial assumption was that Blitzø was trying to visit Stolas. It just made sense! Stolas was hospitalised right at the end of the previous episode and texted Blitzø that he could visit if he wanted to. (At this point, we also didn't know Blitzø had trauma surrounding visiting loved ones at hospitals). And suddenly they hit us with Blitzø seeking out Barbie out of the blue? So many of us were left wondering... why? Yeah, people have mentioned that maybe feeling like he could've lost Stolas prompted Blitzø to try to mend a different broken relationship, one that he felt he had more chances of fixing. But the timing, as well as the non-immediate revelation that it's Barbie he's looking for, is still... strikingly suspicious, isn't it?

And just now, after all this time, it hit me.

What if this is foreshadowing?

What if, all along, they were telling us Blitzø will visit Stolas at the hospital in the future... when Stolas is in rehab?

[yanderes-galore]

Yandere rivals between Vaggie and Angel dust who both grown attached to overlord reader ? Platonic please and hcs if possible 

I was a bit unsure how to do this at first... but I think there's some interesting dynamics between characters to explore here.

Part of me wants to write something separate for the dynamic you, Angel, and Val have in this. That seems good enough on its own to explore. ALSO! So sorry it got complicated... I had too many thoughts I lost the plot half the time.

@okchijt helped me enrich the rivalry portion near the end.

Yandere! Platonic! Vaggie vs Platonic! Angel Dust with Overlord! Darling

(FT. Alastor + Valentino + Charlie)

Pairing: Platonic - Rivalry

Possible Trigger Warnings: Gender-Neutral Darling, Obsession, Stalking, Overprotective behavior, Trauma, Violence, Abuse (Angel and Val), Unhealthy coping mechanisms, Implied Manipulation, Dubious companionship(s).

At first it's a bit difficult to see where you can place another Overlord.

Vaggie would naturally struggle to trust another Overlord based on the ones she's seen/interacted with.

Same thing with Angel due to the fact his soul is owned by an Overlord.

So, both of these characters obsessing over an Overlord is... strange.

The only thing I can think of is you're an Overlord supporting the hotel.

One thing the two share in common is their care for Charlie, no matter how ridiculous her ideas are.

So maybe you're an Overlord who's investing in or just interested in the hotel and its inhabitants.

You'd often come to the hotel to speak with Charlie, not usually going out of your way to have soul deals with anyone there (as per an agreement with Charlie).

This could be a way to get you on good terms with the two.

HOWEVER, This ALSO creates unique relationships between you and Alastor/Valentino.

I imagine Overlords tend to have a territory.

They don't typically want free Overlords in their space or touching their property.

Which means, a new Overlord would catch the attention of Alastor and Val.

First of all, Alastor will notice you often around the hotel and Charlie.

While his role is being a defender of the hotel and yours is simply supplying it, Alastor may feel a bit threatened... or even interested when it comes to your presence.

There's a good chance you can actually get along with Alastor if you aren't a threat... maybe.

When it comes to Val, however?

None whatsoever.

Val would hate you interacting with Angel.

Especially when Angel gets attached.

So, I feel a rivalry like this might come off as complex.

Even more so with the fact you're an Overlord.

Vaggie becomes close to you because you both care for Charlie.

You're seen as an ally and she respects your abilities.

Plus, you're more respectable than most other Overlords here.

She's always found Alastor... shifty.

Vaggie comes off as an overprotective yandere, even if you're a strong Overlord.

Actually, that fact alone makes Vaggie want to protect you due to Alastor.

Alastor no doubt wants to make a deal with you due to your power.

Power is his end game and he isn't sure if Charlie would even need you to be an Overlord.

He can handle it, so why not make a deal with him to give over your power?

Vaggie is often the one trying to keep one (or two) Overlords off your back.

It's originally because she doesn't want Charlie to stress or worry.

But later it's because she genuinely cares about you, Overlord or not.

Angel is a bit more dependent when attached.

At first he pays you no mind.

Oh great, another Overlord to force their way into things.

As if Alastor and Val aren't enough.

He tries not to pay you any mind, often ignoring you.

However, maybe you comfort him after an argument with Val.

You notice him covered in marks and become oddly attentive.

He originally tries to push away, telling you off while he tries to isolate himself.

He finds the idea of an Overlord being caring odd.

Even Alastor does it to get his way.

Yet... You appear to be genuinely concerned...

He hates that he enjoys it.

What may solidify his attachment is you standing up to Val or something.

That or just defending Angel in general.

With you he feels less... guarded.

He knows being around you pisses Val off.

At times Angel gets concerned for your well-being because Val can be dangerous as a Vee.

Yet you try to reassure him you're alright with it.

Even though Angel tries to distance himself for your sake... He can never stay away for long.

Oof... Things just get messy when Angel's attached.

Mostly because Val is erratic and temperamental.

ALL OF THAT and I have yet to discuss Vaggie and Angel actually fighting.

See what I mean by this is more complicated than I thought it would be?

Vaggie and Angel can agree on one thing... you're helpful, sweet, and important to them.

The two also tend to keep you away from two other Overlords.

You're meddling where you shouldn't, even if you don't mean to, but these two act as good allies to you.

I don't imagine their rivalry gets too violent.

They wouldn't try to end one another, mostly it's just arguments on who cares for you better.

But it's not like you're all that vulnerable.

No, you're an Overlord, most of the time you're caring for them.

You help Vaggie be more confident in helping Charlie and even give helpful suggestions and supplies to Charlie herself.

With Angel you often try tending to his wounds, talking to him, and trying to help him cope in a less destructive way than vices (Alcohol, Drugs, Smoking.)

He doesn't listen all the time but he does somewhat appreciate the sentiment.

The two fighting is mostly due to you being occupied with the other or the Overlords upset with you.

Vaggie tends to blame Angel for Val's actions towards you.

It's often a heat of the moment kind of thing, she doesn't entirely mean it but it slips.

Meanwhile Angel thinks Vaggie only cares about you due to Charlie.

Angel may even say Vaggie couldn't defend you from Alastor or that you're being used in some way.

It's all mostly petty but it ruins the bond between them.

Much to Charlie's dismay.

Alastor may comment on their behavior with you.

He muses that they act like lost children in your presence.

He finds it all very amusing.

He also finds it strange you managed to get them to both like you... even more so to this point.

He may even ask if you have ulterior motives, which you don't share.

Motives or not, the two probably would still care for you if they bicker this much over your "care".

Val just seems to get aggressive with you.

He claims you're stealing Angel from him, to which you decline.

You're merely helping Angel, which makes Val more frustrated.

The Vees are never good with their temper.

It's so easy for you two to fight.

You may even come back to the hotel with wounds, leaving Vaggie concerned and Angel guilty.

You help the two in many ways.

Be it from actual care or benefiting yourself... it yields the same result.

Charlie congratulates you for befriending them and helping the hotel...

Yet she is concerned about them at times.

Charlie often has to prevent the two from fighting.

She'd also be concerned about you and Val's fighting.

Both yandere are mostly overprotective.

Angel may also be clingy when he's vulnerable but he tries not to be.

This rivalry, as petty or light as it is, comes with many moving parts.

You're less concerned with Vaggie and Angel... and more concerned about the other bonds they have and how you complicate them.

I don't know, I no doubt overcomplicated the request, but it's genuine thoughts and concerns I have when thinking of these two.

Overall, I feel their rivalry is more petty than anything.

They themselves wouldn't hurt you as you're an Overlord... but the two end up hating each other.

It's a bit difficult for me to see them fighting though... as due to how complicated these dynamics are, the two would probably just learn to share.

You help them both, they help you, they may not need to fight.

Even if they shared though... I can see arguments occurring due to Alastor and Val.

The two wouldn't be able to kidnap you or manipulate you too much.

Murdering people for you? Sure, I can see that.

They're both protective and capable... but would they need to?

Lesser demons don't come near you and they can't kill Overlords.

Oof... you having the Overlord title in general makes this complicated too....

Vaggie is protective and isolating, wanting you to focus on the hotel more than Angel to make Charlie happy.

She makes herself your personal assistant, ushering you to focus on her, Charlie, and the hotel. Not Angel or Alastor.

To her, this is how you two bond.

She doesn't mind sharing with Charlie... but she tries not to allow you any more time with the others.

Angel is not only protective and clingy, but possessive.

He loves it when you just come to see him because you're concerned.

It gives him an ego.

He likes the attention so much that he'll lie to make you stay longer.

He's never felt more comfortable... and he uses this time to mess with Vaggie.

He's a distraction and he enjoys it.

Vaggie thinks Angel is hogging all of your attention... You have other things to attend to.

Meanwhile Angel accuses Vaggie of boring you and not giving you a choice on what to do.

You have your work cut out for you at the hotel, especially with these two so close to you...

All I have to say is this... Good Luck.

[cuppajj]

Thoughts about BY 5 and 6

So I finished the episode at an unhealthy morning hour, and now after getting my full sleep, I can fully share my thoughts!

And of course, spoilers for the newest episode!

First things first, I want to talk about Burning Spice himself. A while back, I made a post about my hopes for him and how I didn’t want him to be a temperamental meathead, but instead a smart and calculating person who took from his extensive knowledge of history to psychologically destroy as much as physically. Did we get that?

Kinda, kinda not. Spice isn’t another Purple Yam like I’d hoped, he has more character than being just angry, but the hotheadedness does remain most of the way through. He reminds me of a strongman anime villain, the kind whose braun speaks more than brain, but still capable of strategy. Most of that strategy comes from Nutmeg Tiger though, as Spice is mostly interested in fighting Cheese from beginning to end. There’s no moment where he messes with her mind directly and picks apart her vulnerabilities beyond surface level “you hold things dear to you that I will destroy”. Which, implication is that he was more focused on just fighting, which in the context of how/why he is the way he is, kinda makes sense.

And about that, I’ll address it briefly: So we learn that Spice’s corruption, at least the straw that broke the camel’s back, was that he got bored watching history unfold. I think it’s very cool! While I was interested in a little more nuance behind his boredom, sometimes villains don’t need a complex reason for why they do what they do. It does make Spice less sympathetic than Mystic Flour though, so it seems like not all Beasts may be equal in cause and backstory. However, stuff about him may be explored later, since he’s going to be back.

So I would say that Spice isn’t as one note as I’d hoped, but he is a simple villain. A simple and very very fun and scary villain, but there could’ve been a lot more to his character in this story that made it lacking for me. I know BY chapters are usually short, but there could’ve possibly been more time showing the parallels between him and Cheese beyond a dialogue or so. It would’ve been really cool if Spice addressed those directly, using it against Cheese. Making her rethink/relive the trauma of losing everyone and mentally destroying her… like what if there was an exchange in the prison cell when she was at her lowest? What if Smoked Cheese had either been incapacitated and unable to speak, or in a separate cell so Cheese could be entirely at the Beast’s mercy? (We DID get a bit of that when Cheese realized how apathetic he was and what he saw in her soul jam, but that was more of a disgusted shock than a mental breakdown.) Smoked could help her out of her turmoil later (an exchange between him and Spice could’ve also been awesome), but Spice leaving mental damage on Cheese would’ve further spread the idea that he also values breaking things internally.

But, I guess Spice is just destroy destroy destroy to the point where he doesn’t really care about anything else, which is… fine. Admittedly not my cup of tea because it’s so basic, but it doesn’t mean I don’t enjoy his motivation. I hope we get a little more nuance next time we see him.

Anyway love these sprites!! I wished we got more related to the first two, it shows a mellower and/or ironically colder side of him that I think would’ve really helped amplify his fear factor. Spice is all fun and destruction but the oh shit comes from him showing more of the calculated side he used to have.

But speaking of Golden Cheese, I’ll talk about her next.

Overall I really liked her story here! I love seeing her in action and on her own, and her interactions with Smoked Cheese were fun to see! Smoked Cheese was extra fun, I loved how he had sass while still caring for people beyond his kingdom’s entourage (his voice and mannerisms remind me of tfp knockout it’s crazy). I was also happy to learn how the soul cheese worked, since that was a question I had from last episode. It appears Smoked isn’t in his body, but his soul is projecting a physical form given mass that relies on Golden Cheese’s power. Very interesting, and I wonder if he’s just going to stay out now, or if he’ll return? And what of the others too…

Now, something I will say about Cheese is that while her character arc made sense for her in a bubble, I feel a similar thing like I did with Spice that it could’ve been much better. Personally, while Cheese staying true to her greediness and immense care for her treasures is a good thing to power her up, I don’t think it made her as bigger a person than Spice than she could’ve. What would’ve been cooler and more thematic for her character would’ve actually been accepting that destruction and the loss of things she cares about is a natural part of life.

What I mean by this is that while Spice embodies destruction, Cheese essentially embodies creation, which are two polar opposites that have their place in the universe. Antagonizing one or the other should come with a deeper approach to the message, and frankly, antagonizing destruction in its entirety is a very black and white angle. Destruction can be inherently bad and tragic, yes, but it can also pave the way for new life and new things to be created. Plantlife grows back after a forest fire. You can build something better upon the ruins of what was before. For Cheese, her kingdom could’ve been lost/destroyed, but she could’ve accepted it and strove for a newer and better kingdom. Which, in some parts she did, but my philosophy also applies to people lost too.

Death and destruction was a prominent theme in Cheese’s backstory, and much of her Golden City arc was confronting that. I suppose this is a separate talk for another time, but to put it simply, she didn’t have an arc about accepting those who were lost, moreso about striving to bring those who were lost back. The story ended with her promising to bring her friends back, instead of accepting that she lost them and focusing her strength on protecting those she still has with her. That last part could’ve actually been what the Spice story led to, with her first wanting to find a way to bring everyone back, but deciding by the end of it that she can protect the memory of her kingdom along with the living friends she still has. Smoked Cheese could’ve even helped her with that, showing that he cares for her over himself, leading to a heartfelt goodbye between the two. This is just a wishful image, but it would’ve been a really good way for CRK to tackle a deep theme and touch a lot of people’s feelings. But what we got was a lot simpler, with both Spice and Cheese’s characters and themes, which I guess makes sense. Some stories (or the game itself) don’t really want to be anything super deep in narrative, and that’s fine as long as they’re still fun, which this was.

Lastly I will say, I fear the awakening thing will get a little predictable and repetitive from here on out. Beast is a threat for the first chapter, continues to be a threat up until Ancient does a power of love and friendship introspection and transforms into a stronger version of themself. I hope one of them will be a little subversive in this—I don’t know how, I just hope these great stories aren’t bogged down by predictability!

But anyway, those are my thoughts about BY 5 and 6. Overall a great story, I’m so happy to get Spice and Cheese action because they’re two of my favorites, Smoked Cheese was fun, and I’m looking forward to the new Shmilk stuff we will be getting around the anniversary. After that I really hope Eternal Sugar is next, I have a bunch of thoughts/hopes for them too!!

Anyway thanks for reading!

[transformers-spike]

your writing is soooo good i love everything you post and i'm sooo happy i found your blog!!! i have a suggestion, can u write more about sg optimus x human reader? i loved the bit u did abt him and there's really not much content out there. nsfw or sfw alike is fine i just want to see him being his cruel and manipulative self

Oh man thank you so much! I've been actually having a ton of fun working with @drunkeninlovesailor on our SG universe. I definitely want to explore it more when I have the chance

“Let it go,” Ratchet says. Roughness underlines his drunken drawl. You’ve never seen him sober.

He takes a swig of the strange teal concoction at his workstation. It glows through his throat as he swallows. Once, you asked Optimus what the Chief Medical Officer was drinking. “High grade,” he replied with the gentle patience of a parent.

Except you’ve seen high grade. It’s bubbly and bright blue, nothing close to the radioactive liquid in Ratchet’s glass.

His near-constant drunken stupor is what you’ve been banking on, a faulty investment at that. Some concerned, almost empathetic part of you wants to ask what’s wrong, but you know better than that.

Trauma has seeped into the very mechanism of their faction. Arcee looks at you with silent rage for wasting their leader’s precious time, while Bulkhead doesn’t spare you a glance. He is wholly uncaring, the same as Ratchet. But the doctor listens at least; watches on with disinterest as you speak, though his responses are cold and jagged. Whatever conversation he may entertain instantly evaporates when Optimus makes his presence known. “Bitlet,” he calls you with suffocating tenderness. The comfort it brings is no different from shoving frost-bitten hands into a fire. You flash him a smile and approach despite your better instincts, legs carrying you to the edge of the mezzanine as though trudging through heavy snow. When his digit comes to stroke your cheek, you do not flinch or reel back in disgust. After all, weren’t his servos caressing tender flesh mere hours ago? Didn’t you kiss the lips of the liar you call home? Or uttered those three cursed words like you meant it? What is there to love in a murderer? More than you can ever imagine.

How could such kindness hold nothingness behind it? That which you considered contempt has revealed itself to be much worse: utter apathy.

“You seem to be socializing more than usual,” he says with genuine interest, as though his words have no hidden meaning. Ratchet, although his back is turned, flinches under the weight of his gaze.

Do not call attention to it.

“You could certainly put it that way,” you attempt to mimic the warmth of his tone.

His optics scan you with ease. Mimicry doesn’t work on him. He sees right through you. How could a conversation so menial feel like walking across a frozen pond? One wrong step and you’ll fall into the icy depths.

His expression doesn’t shift, frozen with warmth.

“Would you like to join me at the archives? I seem to have decrypted files which may be to your liking.” Yet again, he pulls you away from the only means of discerning the truth. Who Optimus is behind his carefully constructed mask only the doctor knows. They met before Earth, before the war, before Megatronus. And it cost him terribly.

You give the response Optimus expects, his gaze burning hotter than a thousand suns.

He cups you in his servos with sickening tenderness you both love and despise; a veneer of kindness hiding a monster whose form you cannot discern. Step closer and risk to be engulfed by the darkness surrounding him? Or let yourself be devoured until he tires of your flesh?

You lack the luxury to choose.

[akirathedramaqueen]

Stolas: A Gradual Descent to the Bottom of the Bottle

This post analyzes Stolas's situation with alcohol and discusses whether the show effectively represents this systemic issue, and what it implies about real life.

The take is certainly not unique, but I decided to post it anyway to spread awareness about how subtle, seemingly harmless, occasional drinking can seamlessly turn into a full-blown addiction over time.

TW: substance abuse, addiction, alcoholism

Is Stolas an alcoholic?

The answer seems obvious at first. You look at him—all posh, intelligent, and articulate—and you might think, "He doesn’t look like one." You won’t find him, Satan forbid, somewhere under a porch, or truly dependent on the bottle, like drinking during the day—or not absinthe, anyway.

Sure, he drinks sometimes, but it’s fine . . . right? Everyone drinks sometimes. Everyone deserves to feel a bit happier after something bad happens once.

Or twice.

Or thrice . . .

. . . Oh.

Not so obvious anymore, eh?

The real issue here is that the answer is kind of between 'yes' and 'no.' My TL;DR is that the show makes it pretty clear his drinking is becoming problematic, but it’s not quite there yet. And it will become alcoholism soon enough if nothing changes.

I think what we see happening to Stolas right now is an excellent, textbook example of how people end up there. So let’s get into his head, explore where he stands, and what it means for us and for him.

It starts easy

It doesn’t happen in one day. It's not like you get up early one especially glum morning and decide, "Hey, that's a good day to ruin my life!"

It's a vulnerability that makes you susceptible to drinking. Constant pressure. Anxiety. Depression. Trauma.

And you might find yourself wanting to do everything, anything, to get it out of your brain. Not think about it for one evening. Forget.

What a pathetic fucking man!

Her attacking you, whether physically, verbally, in public or private. You, having no one to turn to, having no way to mend it, having to keep up appearances for your kid.

We all have bad days. Bad situations. It’s not to say that one wild night is inevitably going to turn you into an alcoholic. But when you allow the bottle to be your crutch for life, when it becomes a habit to avoid uncomfortable, traumatic events, then . . .

Then it turns into a coping mechanism

You know, it’s . . . it’s simpler. It’s comfortable. Soothing.

You can’t kick her out of the house. You can’t make the man you love love you back. You can’t get a support network because she ostracized you from royal social circles and made a laughing stock out of you.

But you can forget. Forget that one excruciatingly humiliating night. Where not only was all your dirty laundry thrown out on the dance floor for everyone to see, but also, that said romantic interest made it clear it’s only about sex.

You used to have a smoking wife, a kid, you had it all! I hope you didn't give it up so you and him could get it up

Stolas, don't act like what we have is anything but you wanting me to fuck you, okay? You make that really clear all the time.

Forget well enough to fall asleep drunk on the floor among the only living beings who didn't run from you yet. Maybe only just because they are in pots and don't have legs.

And it spirals out of control

Things get gradually worse. Your only lifeline—your . . . uh, romantic interest and daughter—fall out of reach. He finds every reason to avoid you. She hasn't visited you since that LA incident.

Your only power move with a divorce request turns into a lengthy, exhausting proceeding and leads to an assassination attempt. Your—what are you even anymore?—romantic interest pretty much ignores your distress call, or so you think.

You go with a showdown. You can't stand the ambiguity anymore. You want to know whether there's something behind your transactional thing. It's either 'yes' or 'no,' and . . .

It doesn't end too well.

Lastly, you go to a party to try to unwind (or at least be polite, because it's rude to ignore invitations). But your ex's (???) ex acts cruelly, and you don't feel comfortable there. And the wound is still fresh, bleeding . . .

Fuck it, the absinthe won't cut it. Beelzejuice it is then.

And here we are, back to our starting question

Stolas wears a functional alcoholism guise. Or dangerously close to it. Because that's what I believe is going on.

He is still a functional member of society, but he is shown not being capable of processing his trauma without the bottle in hand. And, as things get worse for him, we see the bottle or the glass or any other alcohol container more often on the screen.

For now, he's hanging on, but it's just a matter of a flip switch—the moment when every second of his life will start to feel unbearable without alcohol, simply because there are no other ways to cope.

It's worth noting, though, that Stolas isn't the only character depicted struggling with the urge to drink away his problems.

The most obvious example is Verosika, who is a severe case of alcoholism. We won't delve deep into her character since I want to focus on gradual decline rather than the end result, but we rarely see her without a bottle. There are a couple of scenes where she doesn't hold one, but these moments are situational. She's also been to rehab at least once and only got out because of her reputation.

But there is another character I'd like to dissect, because this will answer the lingering question, "Is there a way out?"

Blitzø, and why he didn't fall victim to this

We saw Blitzø drinking too, at the Bee’s party. To a rather disturbing degree, actually.

But why does no one say he has an alcohol problem, even though he did use alcohol as a coping mechanism? 

Because Blitzø is an example of how the addiction might be prevented and what ultimately makes a difference, a turning point.

To start off, we first see him not in the bar. We see him at home with a pint of melting ice-cream. Dude sugar-bombed himself to sleep . . . after the already mentioned disastrous date with Stolas at Ozzie's, that is.

And then he gets a call from Loona, who asks to pick her up from the party. He has no plans to stay there whatsoever.

But what changed his mind? Pressure did. 

He was pressured by both Loona and an old acquaintance to stop by. (I stress that no one is wrong for this, by the way—he still had the agency to turn the invitation down.) He reluctantly agreed to one drink . . . which we know how ended.

It's much harder to keep it to just one drink when you're sad and alcohol makes you feel better. Nobody wants to be sad.

But with all that said, Blitzø is extremely resilient. In contrast to Stolas—who is strong in his own way but slipping despite all the privilege, magic, and immortality that Blitzø thinks make him invincible—Blitzø never let that one drinking occasion become a habit.

Because he has a support network. However closed off he is, he has his business to take care of, Loona, and M&M. He has things he likes to do and he has people he cares about.

Stolas has all the money in the world, but no friends or activities he could look forward to. He doesn't seem happy with his royal life at all, referring to himself as an owl in a gilded cage.

So the difference is, essentially, this: Blitzø has alternatives and doesn't see alcohol as an outlet. There is a wonderful post from @warblogs17282 which has similar points I make, but also, it shows another angle of Blitzø's relationship with alcohol—his, unfortunately, long history with addiction in family. So that contributes, too.

Is Stolas a lost cause?

Gods, no. But it’s definitely a problem by this point. 

Is he an active alcoholic? Maybe not yet. He isn't Verosika yet. But he is getting there, which I think is the point the show makes.

Alcohol might be a one-time patch on especially rough days, and you might wake up the next day strong and aware enough not to make a habit of it. But the problem is, Stolas already has a habit, and he doesn't have anything to replace it. 

To solve it, he needs just that—a replacement for the bottle. Someone who cares. My hope is that one particular red lizard will share his pint of ice cream and his love. And maybe then, grim days won't be as grim anymore, even when the absinthe stays in the store, or wherever these royals get their alcohol.

Closing note. Why it’s important to talk about this in real life context

Warning: Extreme TMI

I had an alcoholic in the family, and this topic triggers me because, for him, it also started as "no biggie."

He was still functional for years, coming to work regularly. But he was slipping. He drank more, skipped work, and eventually became unbearable for his family—my family, even if not immediate. His wife requested a divorce. He got isolated. He drank even more. Eventually, he got fired because it's not appropriate for a director to skip work and reek of ethanol. The smell was so strong that people couldn't be in the same room with him. He tried other jobs. He aced interviews thanks to 30 years of experience and a solid background. But he got fired again because he couldn't live up to his legacy anymore. At the end, he descended into what you would call full-blown alcoholism.

So, you followed his story, and my question is: Did it start here, when he couldn't help it anymore? Or did it start a couple of years before that, when alcohol became too comfortable as an outlet for struggles?

I've had rough months too—with the war in Ukraine and everything happening with my family—when I realized it became comfortable for me to drink my problems away. Because it works. Because it’s pleasant not to deal with anything, to force your brain to shut up and be happy for one evening.

And it's terrifying to realize I had (thankfully, I don't have anymore for a long time by now) those patterns of thinking: "Jeez, I just want to drink and forget this happened."

Because I saw where it leads. And the farther you go, the harder it becomes to say 'no.'

So please, pay attention to the ones you care about. Pay attention to yourself.

[theyhavemagic]

Damen and Laurent: Thoughts On Switching

When I think of Damen and Laurent switching, I love to explore the possible implications and undertones of it, apart from the obvious ones - their equality, love, trust, intimacy, mutual surrender, and eventual openness to each other.

I think the situation here is much more interesting and complex than it seems. One of those implications is how topping would feel for Laurent considering his trauma. Hear me out: I do believe that though giving himself to Damen was a very huge deal for Laurent (obviously), topping Damen would also feel special for him and require some fragile defenselessness, some letting go of the control too (no matter how contradictional this may sound) for several reasons. 

Laurent had gone through massive sexual and emotional abuse from his uncle as a child/teen and it had left a huge mark on him. He'd not only been getting assaulted multiple times but he'd been repeatedly manipulated and groomed which affected his mental health and well-being, as well as his perception of sex. Not to mention that after all the traumatic things he'd gone through because of his uncle and before falling for Damen Laurent didn't have any sexual experience with anyone else.

So, first of all, I think of how that trauma could've affected him considering all the emotional/psychological manipulation that came with it and also the way his uncle used to literally drug him with aphrodisiacs before sexually assaulting him. That position, the twisted way his body would involuntarily have to react to that kind of stimulation despite the psychological horror of it, undoubtedly affected the way he perceived himself and his sexuality. 

Second, I think of how after that hell ended, Laurent just simply didn't have a chance to try it the other way. I mean he did, but he couldn't. He surrendered himself to Damen and it made sense: they both wanted it, of course, I don't deny it at all. But Laurent also did it because he knew Damen liked to top (and was in the position of a slave, but I'll talk about it later), and because Laurent himself had no experience of topping anyway but had the experience of bottoming even though it happened through abuse and against his will.

But if you think of that, apart from his abuser and his only lover Damen, Laurent never engaged in anything sexual with anyone, so he didn't even have a chance to explore what he likes himself and how he likes it, didn't even try - and not because he just didn't want it but because he'd been deeply traumatized. 

Third, related to the second, is how Laurent approaches control. For him, control is very important, essential, his survival mechanism, and it's far from easy for him to give up. Giving himself to Damen was a big deal and it was, undeniably, about Laurent finally letting the control go, but it was also something he was familiar with and he didn't have to do much, just let Damen do it.

While topping Damen, especially for the first time, would be different for Laurent: he would feel a bit uncertain, maybe even incompetent and unprepared because of the lack of experience, he definitely wouldn't want to lose face in front of Damen in this way, to underperform, to disappoint. It would be a type of situation that would play with his desire to be in charge on so many levels.

On one hand, it would feel like he is not completely in control of the situation as it is unfamiliar to him and it would be a point of personal growth to him, another way of learning how to trust and let the tense go, but on the other hand, he would enjoy having that control and dominance over Damen which Damen doesn't seem to mind (he actually likes it).

Fourth is something that makes a lot of sense to me and I thought about it much. I think that Laurent wouldn't want to become like his uncle, like his abuser. He wouldn't want to top someone weaker, vulnerable, like slaves, teens, kids, the people who look or actually are more vulnerable than him and also are highly dependent on him. He wouldn't want to become the very monster that ruined his childhood and adolescence, the monster who's taken everything he loved and made him go through hell. 

But see how Damen is drastically different from all the possible people (slaves, servants and kids) Laurent could've topped but didn't: Damen is an equal to him on every level. Politically, emotionally. He is strong, physically and mentally. He is bigger than Laurent in terms of his body. By the end of the story, he is his lover, not someone dependent on him, and also a king. Topping Damen wouldn't give Laurent such strong associations with being like his uncle, abusing someone who can't fight back. Still, it might feel not easy at first but can be really worth it.

Damen is also an interesting case people don't talk much about in my opinion. I strongly relate to Damen overall and to his desire to top Laurent especially (I'd waited for this for the first two books with passion). I cannot deny it as well as his overall preference for topping - it's here and it's clear, as well his type looking like Jokaste and Laurent. But again, I believe that some things considering that matter are being overlooked by the fandom and we should discuss them too.

Damen was raised in Akielos - a country with associations and references to Ancient Greece. In Ancient Greece, apart from places like Sparta, mlm relationships were seen in a very specific way - it was okay for a free man, a free citizen to engage in sexual relationships with other men (usually younger boys or slaves) as long as he was on top. But taking another role, bottoming for a free, grown-up man of a good social status was considered wrong, shameful and reprehensible, it was not accepted.

Now look at Damen. He wasn't just a free citizen, he was a prince. Also bisexual, having female lovers like Jokaste. His sexual experience as a prince was mostly either with women or men most of whom (if not all) were slaves and they were below him in the social hierarchy. It's hard for me to imagine Damen bottoming for his male slaves. And it's not just about how the society would react, it's about how Damen was shaped by his culture where strong masculinity was very appreciated and the status was important.

With Laurent it's different. Again, they are completely equal, both kings, both grown men, both devoted lovers who share a very deep and trusted bond. It makes just so much sense that Damen would try anything with Laurent. Laurent has him wrapped around his fingers.

Even as a top outside of serious relationships, with his slaves, his casual affairs or his female lovers, Damen would be more flexible and open with Laurent. I think he would genuinely love to explore it all with him, to know him entirely as long as he wants it too (and I think Laurent would want it too). As I've mentioned, Damen seems to enjoy it and kinda even get off to it when Laurent specifically is in command (while he also enjoys commanding himself).

What I am trying to say is that for them both trying switching (at least sometimes) would make so much sense and would enrich their relationship and their personal sexual experiences a lot in a very safe, respectful, comfortable way. It's also the love they share, the trust, the devotion, it seems so big, almost cosmic. The equality they reach at the end of the series is unmatchable and extremely satisfying. 

I think Damen would lose it to Laurent as a top commanding him, just as to Laurent as a power bottom or Laurent in general, in any position, in any role, sub or dom, top or bottom - Damen would take it all and ask for more, the man is obsessed. Damen is just so attracted to Laurent it goes beyond everything. With all due respect to his strong, undeniable desire to top Laurent, take him, have him, claim him that I completely understand and share, I have no doubts that he wouldn't mind letting Laurent take him too. 

And Laurent, someone who was traumatized as a bottom and someone who had no experience as a top, could try to explore different things with someone he loves and trusts. Try things he never had a chance to try. Have a man who's bigger and stronger than him all to himself, not just emotionally (topping with words, as he usually does) but also physically. It could be a liberating experience that would also make them even closer. In the end, I want to say it again, that reading how Damen topped Laurent was satisfying, especially after everything that happened in the first two books. It worked out great, it was kinda supposed to happen and it was wonderful and hot. But I think that for them to try switching would also be something interesting and worth exploring. 

[pureshadough]

beast yeast 10 liveblog

Heard there's women in this one!

okayyyyy the beast raid being explicit canon is. innnnnteresting. Wonder if this suggests anything for the previous ones or no

light of passion voice HOLLYBERRY THE SHIELD IS A METAPHOR HOLLYBERRY WATCH OUT FOR THAT TRUCK BEHIDN YOU. SHE HAS HER [NIHILISM] IN SHE CANT HEAR US

Alright.

DIED 2020 BORN 2025 WELCOME BACK COOKIES WARS

YOU.

her korean voice is gorgeous but she's also seemingly voiced by Erica Mendez (white lily & black pearl's VA) in english which is. fucking hilarious

it is embarrassing how excited i am to see her here right now. I missed shadow milk cookie.

whuo in the Fuck is this referring to

THEY FUCKING HATE EACH OTHER!! YES YEEEEEESSSS FUUUUCK YESSSSS

So he just called it obsessive love per personal experience. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay.

I'M *TELLING YOU* THEY'RE EXES

Girl we have a word for this and its called alcoholism

....oooooooooh that. Wow. Alright.

YOU HAVE GOT TO BE FUCKING KIDDING ME

okay the fact it looks like there's vanillian pilgrims here is Terrifying?

Condensing my thoughts over a few levels down a bit just to talk about sugarfly. She's so mippy. really adore how they've explored the idea of a beast's minion defecting here and sugarfly as the subject being a character arguably representative of stockholm syndrome is such an interesting lens to view it through. Even when acting on the hollyberrians side it never seems like she really knows exactly what she wants or needs and knowing how thats rooted in depression long before she fell to sloth is a heavy hitter too. I really really like her. I think she might even usurp black sapphire as being my favorite minion and im not even done with the chapter yet LOL

a nap like this would fix me i think

sugar having this argument with hb right now and thinking God damn it if I let that clown prove himself right.

....Oh! That's a fucking awesome use of the requirement mechanic actually. Hell yeah.

HOW INCREDIBLY INTERESTING FOR SHADOW MILK TO BRING UP AND BE LOOKING FOR THIS EFFECTIVE APPLE OF EDEN WHEN SHE SHOWED UP EARLIER.

Wow! This is fucking Horrific!!!

Sugar is EXTREMELY EFFECTIVE at what she does. Sinking her teeth STRAIGHT into hollyberry's war trauma and framing every single hardship and loss as being in HER HANDS if she tries to leave her side. Legitimate textbook domestic psychological abuse tactics. Holy shit.

PITAYA MENTION 🥳🥳🥳🥳🥳🥳🥳

holly thinking of/hallucinating(?) white lily in this context is Fascinating in a way we don't have time to dissect rn but by god will i be thinking about it

i ADORE how talkative hollyberry and passion are!!!! it is genuinely such a fun window into how much her bonds matter to her decision making and state of mind such that it extends to her very own virtue. they surely have to talk with each other more than any of the other ancients do with theirs and it is delightful to read

I love her so fucking much.

i think we have a new winner of Worst Possible Fumble And Ensuing Crashout

yknow oomf kye made comment earlier that this might very well be the most explicit romance in the entire game period and it was Sort of a joke at the time but i think any room for doubt is completely eliminated at this point.

heart genuinely clenched reading this

aauasdksjhcgahgufuffbghfguaghkfbjhfgjfghfbhjbdgfafsdfgbjashfgdjhcbnasdhjasfd,

????!?!?!??!?!?!? ALRIGHT MAN! PUBERTY SPEED RUN!

So that was I think need a drink. Hollyberry needed a win for a LONG while now and this chapter has delivered in spades. This was so tightly packed and well executed that I think its usurped beast yeast 8 as being my favorite? No comments on that extra teaser scene with sugarfly here because I am straight up out of iamges and had to cut several joke comments from this post to keep it in limit as is but asauifgsdjhfSDFHJGSDFJKSDGSDGSFGB. FUCK. FUUUUUUCK. I am scared shitless of how this is all gonna wrap up and I WILL be seated.

[acourtofthought]

I think one of the things I’m most looking forward to finding out in Elucien’s book is why Elain pulled away from Lucien. Bc at the end of acowar it seemed like she was coming around to him a little bit. I know a huge part of it is because of her trauma/grief and needing time to come around to being Fae/not wanting a Mate or a Male. But I wonder if there’s another reason too. Like with Nesta, a part of the reason she pulled away from Cassian is because she felt like she didn’t deserve him.

I completely agree.

The mating bond is a huge deal. Rhys had to instantly winnow away and then avoided Feyre for three months after his snapped.

Cassian disappeared for a week after his snapped.

Nesta was so terrified of what she felt for Cassian from the moment she met him that she insulted him, pushed him away and tried to hook up with everyone but him and that was all before her bond even snapped.

But Elain? Her bond instantly snapped while she was engaged to someone else.

She felt Lucien reach out to her through their bond but we never had her inner thoughts for it.

There are so many scenes of she and Lucien just looking at one another but not saying anything.

Then suddenly she pulls back in the novella? What changed between the end of ACOWAR and ACOFAS?

There are so many things we need Elain's POV for because it's going to be the most interesting perspective we'll ever have for a character in regards to their bond. Rhys and Cassian only wanted Feyre and Nesta when their bond snapped but Elain was set to marry someone else.

Rhys and Cassian were not strangers to Feyre and Nesta when their bond snapped but Elain and Lucien were. Yet she's suddenly flooded with this awareness and knowledge of someone who she's never met, who is her other half.

There is so much for Sarah to explore in regards to Elain and Lucien and their bond and I think it's time for us to finally have those answers. I think part of the reason she's not given us Elain's POV is that Elain isn't hiding behind her anger the way Nesta did. I think Elain, while outwardly showing stubborness, is not quite as capable of hiding the truth from herself and I imagine she's got a cascade of emotions that she's internally battling when it comes to Lucien and their bond and I'm so ready to get inside her head.

[creepricot]

No hate but I’m just curious

Why do you ship the papas as brothers or situations where one of them is a minor and another is an adult (IE the Secondo x V brat post)

I don’t have an issue with it personally but I’m curious as to what your thought process behind it is. What makes these ships appealing to you?

i am genuinely very happy to answer! i explained a bit of my reasoning when i answered this ask (and went into a bit of depth as to how writing about taboo topics in the example of this specific work helped me to process some things in my personal life), but there is a couple different reasons i suppose. this may be a bit of a rant, so i’ll continue beneath the cut

to preface, i personally think being “pro” vs “anti” ship labels are gross oversimplifications to describe viewpoints on fictional ships, but i’ll just be using them here for simplicity. but i’m very "proship" with regards to encouraging creative freedom in both myself and others as i do not believe that what you would enjoy in a fictional setting is at all what you would advocate for irl— especially if the subject matter is morally reprehensible in reality. and i say this to get this on record, but i am very aware that there is a vast sea of difference between what is acceptable irl vs in fiction, and i do not condone or support actual abuse, exploitation, or rape. with this being said, i personally believe there is nothing wrong with being interested in exploring incestuous, nonconsenusal, and/or underaged dynamics. i hesitate to call them “ships” because again, its another one of those things that feels like a gross oversimplification when discussing taboo and trauma-causing dynamics; i don’t necessarily like to refer to them as ships because i feel it diminishes the gravity of the topics at hand.  half-related: while i have nothing against people who do not want to engage with or consume taboo fiction (because everyone should be able to choose what they see online– especially if avoiding the content is just safer for them overall), i do, however, have a problem with the antis advocating for total censorship of these topics. that is a rant for another time though

but i find much of the appeal for me has to do with the way that i personally enjoy my fiction. introspection and deeper analysis of characters are incredibly important to me, and as someone who has always had a special interest in psychology (and has been studying it for a number of years), this desire for exploration of the taboo and to dig into the human mind is very, very tantalizing. i like to think about what would cause someone to commit heinous acts, especially against those they love (or are at least supposed to). i like to wonder why sexuality would ever be brought into scenarios where sex should never even be an option on the table, and why one (or even both parties) would consent to that. there is a lot of room for discussion of trauma, of the variety of personal beliefs, of the awareness for how your actions are wrong, but why you just can’t seem to stop even when it would put your entire life in jeopardy if word of your actions were to ever come out, and why victims might react the way they do. when thinking about things from an abuser’s pov, there is undoubtedly a certain thrill that comes from indulging in your impulses, and those who can (even shamelessly!) permit their most disgusting, vile actions have fascinated me for years, over pretty much my entire life lol.

so it’s not so much that i enjoy these dynamics solely because they appeal to certain fetishes i or others may have (but that is certainly a part of it), it’s moreso the fact that i personally think there is a lot of exploration of characters and a sort’ve untapped richness to them. on that note, i personally. cannot for the Life of Me. stand taboo porn for the sake of being taboo porn to get off to which has No substance to it. when it comes down to the work i make, if it doesn’t act as a way for me to decompress and process traumatic things that have happened to me, or as a way to explore some sort of psychological aspect to a character or multiple character's interconnected dynamics, then i sincerely do not care for it and feels insanely soulless (however, drawing can be different because sometimes just straight up making nsfw art is fun for my eyes lmao). most of, if not all of my work, relates to my own personal lived experiences in some way or another, and i believe that having the right to an outlet for it, taboo or not, is important for everyone and people should be able to engage with fiction, or not engage with it, as they please. 

tldr; fiction has no rules, i like fucked up dynamics because i use it to process my own traumas and explore my personal fascinations with psychological states, situations, and mindsets, and how characters will react when these may clash with external societal expectations

[stagefoureddiediaz]

Initial thoughts on that article - I’m excited! I mean the journalist needs to do a bit more homework (I’m looking at you sentence about Eddie kissing Kim!) and I’m always going to take anything Tim says in an article with a giant handful of salt, but by and large all he said is telling me that the arcs for all our characters seem to be interesting and varied.

This got so very long so it’s going below the cut - but if you only want to read the buddie stuff then start reading where I’ve changed the text colour (so you can find it easily - because I’m nice like that!) 🐝🐝🐝

I love that Tim described madney and henren as being a family unit outside of the firehouse and I’m really excited to see that built upon - I loved that we got more hen and Maddie interactions last season and I want more of it. So I’m looking forward to seeing that dynamic develop as part of the Mara arc.

Ortiz hs so much potential to be a truly great villain - with a more sustained arc - something the show hasn’t ever really done and I’d like them to. Ortiz v Hen as a half season or more plotline would be so good and exploring corruption in politics and how it corrupts other public systems and services would be such a great thing to explore (and Aisha would knock it out of the park)

I’m going to say here that season 8 is very much screaming season 3 redux at me - all of the things we know thus far all seem to parallel season 3 events, even down to the bee-nado - which is starting to sound more and more like a mirror of the tsunami - in that the tsunami wave itself was only a brief thing, but the aftermath was where the major incidents and action was for all the various characters and the set up of their arcs. And Tim saying the bees set up I’m super excited for that as a concept.

Since we first saw them filming on a plane I’ve been wondering if we were going to be seen if another 70’s disaster movie homage and it seems I was right - my money is on Airport 77 being the movie in question

And I’m really interested in who it’s going to showcase and what part of her history were exploring. I would really love to see them exploring the Jeffery arc and her trauma from that, but I’m not sure that’s what we’ll be getting (Jeffery being dead doesn’t negate this exploring that part of her story I just don’t think it’s where we’re going)

My feeling is it’s connected into Emmett in some way. It was ‘resolved’ in Athena begins and then never really spoken of again, so maybe we’ll be seeing Dennis Jenkins (the guy who shot Emmett) as one of the prisoners on the plane and Athena will have to confront her remaining trauma there and possibly the damage arresting DJ has had after all that time he passed.

On to Bobby - what can I say technical consultant bobby is going to be perfection. Bobby has had some heavy arcs over the past couple of seasons so it’s pretty obvious he’s got the comic relief arc for at least 8a. I’m really looking forward to seeing Bobby being done with Hollywood etc. And I’m really excited to see how they get him back to the 118 where he belongs.

Onto the bit I know most of you are reading this for!!

The Buck arc is screaming lawsuit redux at me and that ties in nicely to Bobbys arc. Instead of Buck being stopped from returning to the 118, this time it’s Bobby. Gerrard is the Chase Matthew’s of this situation and so I remain convinced of my assertion that buck (having learnt from the lawsuit arc) is going to initially fail against Gerrard before he figures out getting close to him and therefore being able to figure out his weaknesses is the best way to get rid of him and get Bobby back.

The Buck T*mmy section in the article of it all has me laughing so very hard I nearly fell off my chair.

Look, this ‘relationship’ is still fairly new and they are still in the ‘getting to know each other’ phase, so I wouldn’t be expecting Tim to start waxing lyrical about them as a couple, but saying this;

To describe the first queer relationship of one of your mains, whose entire storyline last season was his bi awakening, when it’s at the point when everything should still be new and exciting isn’t exactly a ringing endorsement of said relationship.

It’s entirely possible to gush about a relationship - especially one that is essentially groundbreaking on your show - without giving any plot away or making it seem like they’re endgame.

More comfortable together is the only thing you could come up with to describe them as a couple? - what does that really mean? Comfortable is how you describe a pair of slippers or an old hoodie that’s all worn in and soft. If you’re using more comfortable as one descriptor in a longer sentence with other descriptors that shows the development of said relationship then that’s totally acceptable. But to use it as the only one (aside from saying they’re a couple), well that screams of a relationship that is a plot device.

And you know what else backs that up as a concept - Tim proceeds to use the rest of his answer to the question about Buck and T*mmy’s relationship to talk about Eddie and Eddie and Buck and their relationship. So what I’m getting is that Eddie is still at the centre of things within that relationship - just as he has been throughout the entirety of s7 - where Buck and Tommy managed to have a grand total of 3 scenes out of nearly 20 together where Eddie wasn’t either present or spoken about at length (and one of those was literally just a scene of them kissing!)

Even using the word comfortable again to describe Buck, Tommy and Eddie hanging out together (anticipating some sort of scene that echoes the karaoke bar scene - where we get petty jealous Eddie and I can’t wait!). Which means comfortable is a very intentional word choice - not one that bodes well for the longevity of the reltionship.

So what I’m getting from that. Is that ‘more comfortable together’ means boring and that Tim is using the relationship to create the same distance we saw between Buck and Eddie in season 3 during the lawsuit arc - the distance that ultimately brought them even closer together and led to Eddie changing his will.

Season 3 was when the show really established buddie as a thing - they lay the foundations in s2, but s3 was when they tested and then built the walls of that dynamic ready for the pieces to be put into place over seasons 4 & 5 so they could make buddie canon.

This BT relationship is literally being used to put Eddie in the same space he was in in s3 - isolated (thank you Ryan for that word choice!) because Buck is not available to him as much (or at all in the case of s3) so he spiralled out in his grief over Shannon’s death and joined a fight club.

All this to say that the chess pieces are being manoeuvred in a really positive direction on the buddie front and I expect to see 8a following a somewhat similar pattern as 3a did - big opening disaster which sets up the various arcs, which includes being shown buck and Eddie’s closeness initially, only to separate them off for a bit so Eddie can have his gay awakening (fight club minus the fight club) and Buck can do some more figuring out about what he actually wants of his own (lawsuit without the law suit) and then bring them back together in time for Christmas - which they will spend together with a newly returned Christopher (mirroring s3 Christmas perfectly) and the rest of the firefam.

Even the Eddie question backs up this as a theory;

I’m fully expecting to get Eddie having conversations with his parents - via call and FaceTime - but not with Chris because he still won’t talk to his dad. The choice to say everything has been stripped away from him except his job is also giving some echoes of s5 - juxtaposing when Eddie essentially had everything else except his job which lead to his breakdown. Tim is a master of deploying subterfuge whilst also using very intentional words - so this comment is making me excited. It’s (to me at least) saying that Eddie is secure in his job and there is not really going to be any drama on the job front. That in the past eddie connected his worth to whatever job he was doing (army, his three jobs in El Paso firefighter) so when the job was taken away he had no worth and that therefore meant he was a failure as a father and a husband - so he spiralled out. Now he has his job and he’s in a good place with that and knowing how his worth as a person isn’t tied into that job. Now instead he has nothing else - all the things he’d tied his worth onto away from his job are suddenly gone so he has to go back to the drawing board and this time look at himself and who he actually is and why he wants.

The choice of the word ‘hell’ is also a choice - ‘who the hell he is’ - season 7 laid the groundwork for edddies reckoning with the catholic faith (former nun Marisol, Eddie talking about being a lapsed catholic and catholic guilt and bobby giving Eddie the bible etc) and we know they’ve been filming in a church. Hell as a word choice is just backing that up and hinting at the idea that Eddie figuring out who he is and choosing living his life as his true self would damn him to hell in the eyes of his religion. So gay Eddie here we go!!

This was supposed to be a quick ‘ooh I’m excited everything is being perfectly set up’ post and then I did my usual thing and write a mammoth essay 🤣 so if you’ve read all of this - thank you and I love you and I hope you enjoyed it - can’t wait to hear your thoughts!

[blitzwhore]

I love how Blitz seems to battle with masculinity tbh?? Like he'll bottom but make fun of Moxxie for taking it from a woman, he'll sleep with guys but emotions are gay as hell, romance is beautiful and adorable but also kinda cringe that a guy would be that openly sappy, cool to wear drag and makeup and look stylin' but also like Moxxie is suuuuch a little princess right?? Anyway here are my various massive weapons that aren't compensating for anything. He's sooo obviously tackling severe internalised homophobia and toxic masculinity. As soon as it's not a show of strength or independence and shows any type of earnest vulnerability he immediately jumps to insinuating that it isnt the right way to be.

Ugh, yes, this! It's really interesting, because it's mostly showed subtextually (I hadn't even processed some of the examples you listed here) and it's quite easy to overlook. But, once you put the pieces together, you realise just how much he battles with shame around queerness, gender expression, and the ways they relate to vulnerability and emotion.

I personally headcanon that Cash, his dad, was homophobic. Maybe not like Crimson, who overtly hated and condemned anything queer, which in a way may have made it easier for Moxxie to realise just how awful those opinions were. I think Cash might have been queerphobic and sexist in a more insidious way. Think things like maybe treating Barbie like his little princess whom he needed to protect, all the while telling Blitz to man up. Think 'those people'-type comments, always said with a lower voice and a knowing, scornful smile. Or 'why can't they just keep it in the bedroom'. Or 'I'm fine with it, I just don't see why they need to make their whole identity about it'. Think him chastising his wife for letting Blitz cry past the age of 5-6, because he was going to turn him soft.

I explored Blitz's internalised homophobia a little bit in my Oops flashback fic, and I really want to dive into it more in future fics, because his struggle is just so interesting and relatable to me, as someone who grew up with it as well. You can really tell Blitz's relationship with his queerness (and how it interacts with his trauma) was written by people who have first-hand experience with this sort of grief. It's devastating, but also healing, in a way.

[eph-em-era]

the inclusion of covid in this week's doctor odyssey seems to imply interesting things about the nature of the pandemic in the world of 9-1-1/doctor odyssey

in this essay i will...

no fr, i think there's interesting meta things to think about here, cause 9-1-1 had a covid season and then it was just done - absolutely completely gone. characters don't even refer to it in the past tense.

it was mentioned a lil bit on lone star, but didn't really become a thing there either

so i presumed, like most shows did, that the pandemic happened for a year and was done - the ideal pandemic situation and not one that happened in our real life. i had presumed that it wasn't ongoing

but you get to doctor odyssey, where max was patient zero and clearly has lingering covid trauma. i did also think that covid was done here too because the characters don't seem overly concerned by it

but on this week's episode of doctor odyssey, one of the characters gets covid, and then max does too. and there's a lot of concern about isolation, but otherwise, the characters are mostly fine, there's not a huge amount of sickness there. even the nurses

so i submit that the lore of covid in the 911/dody world is that it was a nightmare hell period for about six months and then the infection greatly decreased in both transmission and strength (ie only max and the passenger get it in this episode)

cdc and maritime rules still stayed in play, no-one dropped the ball, and people still care about covid, but it's not as dangerous as it is IRL, and it doesn't ever really spread outside certain circumstances, caring about it hasn't really become a culture war thing

something i could maybe compare it to would be norovirus - ie: highly contagious in certain circumstances like cruise ships, but far less free-wheeling irl

or even like flu - ie in this week's ep of dody max brings covid boosters in, but people treat them like a lot of people treat the flu vaccine - ie something that's only maybe necessary, and something that has a season each year

-

obviously these are things that are done entirely due to television restraints and that people don't want to write covid storylines for years, but i think it's interesting to explore

especially since covid has become a culture war issue in our world, and is still actively deadly despite people not wanting to care about it.

[laniemae]

hello, i wanted to ask your opinions on a few things i've been thinking about for a while now since i always enjoy your takes on ojima

firstly, i wonder if they'll ever go into more detail about ojima's ptsd--it was brought up once in confession game and then never really talked about again (from what i can remember, please do correct me if there was more information somewhere along the line). i'm also curious on whether ojima has ptsd or c-ptsd specifically, since c-ptsd is developed due to long term trauma (which we know ojima has experienced since the abuse he endured lasted 12 years) whereas ptsd is caused by a singular event. monomoko says 'post traumatic stress disorder' instead of 'complex post traumatic stress disorder' in confession game when stating ojima's secret which is why i'm pondering this. sorry if this seems like kind of a strange thing to focus on but i was just thinking.

i've also seen people speculate that this chapter's motive will be based on paranoia, seeing as someone (likely the staff) planted the drugs in hiroaki's room and the tamba death threat note. this makes me a bit worried, cause if this is the case then there's a very high chance that they'll try to trigger ojima's ptsd; which may lead to him feeling alert/on edge (hypervigilance or hyperarousal--i believe these are two different things when it comes to ptsd but they do share some similarities). i do hope im talking about these topics in a respectful way though, since im not the most educated on ptsd

another thing that i think about is ojima's relationship with his mother. we know that his father and uncle hurt him immensely, but we don't actually know how his mother acted towards him. we know that both his mother and father were arrested and ken says that both parents were abusing their children in the chapter 4 investigation while he's reading the student profiles, but we don't know exactly how she abused them (i think it was mentioned somewhere that shigeo beat ojima and his brothers). i'm curious on how ojima feels about his mother--i think he feels a similar way to her as he does his father, but i could be wrong.

sorry for the massive essay but i really like ojima and his character is really interesting haha

Saw this massive essay in my asks and squealed in joy. I absolutely love reading and adding onto ojimanalysis you do not have to apologise give me more whenever you feel like it I love to yap.

Ojima’s ptsd is also something I think about a lot because it hasn’t really been explored in the story so far and was only mentioned in his confession game secret and nowhere else but I do find it a really interesting topic. And yeah as you said I do believe it’s very likely Ojima more specifically has complex ptsd instead of regular ptsd. I feel like the reason why in confession game it only said ptsd is that cptsd isn’t currently recognised as an offical diagnosis in the DSM-5, so from what we know the confession game secrets are taken from their student profiles. It would have records on Ojima’s therapy sessions in which he would’ve been diagnosed, and again as cptsd is a relatively new diagnosis he would’ve officially been registered as having ptsd. Kind of how as well maladaptive daydreaming isn’t officially recognised as a mental illness but it’s mentioned in the secret logs from psychological screening from the doctors, even if it’s not officially recognised. Although cptsd is an officially registered diagnosis in the ICD-11, even with current standards today it can be hard to get diagnosed, especially since Ojima dropped out of therapy so many times.

Ojima definitely does fit the criteria for cptsd to form. Essentially to recap the main differences in how they form is regular ptsd typically forms from short term trauma or a singular traumatic experience. Cptsd on the other hand is formed by any sort of long term trauma, especially within childhood, typically when the victim has little control and is unable to escape. And fits the symptoms of regular ptsd along with additional symptoms. And with how Ojima was abused in multiple different ways for almost his entire life he would definitely fit this part of the criteria.

Even with some of the stuff we’ve seen of Ojima he does fit the criteria of the symptoms both of regular ptsd and the complex variant. He constantly shuts down stuff relating to his trauma and shows severe emotional distress when any stuff about his childhood or family (excluding his brothers) is bought up. As well in [Young Forever] when he says “I just want to stop being scared…” when on the topic of his past.

He also fits the additional symptoms associated with cptsd from what I’ve seen. Such as irritability and angry outbursts. Not outwardly showing too much positive emotion and generally being more emotionally muted as well as dissociation. Another big symptom of cptsd is a negative sense of self such as feeling shame, worthlessness and failure. [Bruise] definitely highlights a lot of these symptoms when it comes to Ojima talking about his experiences. He makes comments on feeling small all the time, “infected” as he puts it, not knowing how to feel okay or strong again, having lost everything and not knowing anything about what to do. And as well how Ojima feels envious/admiration of Hayashi and stuttering on how he doesn’t know how she can just do that and not being able to feel strong. So I feel this episode highlights a lot of those additional symptoms of negative sense of self.

Forming and maintaining strong and meaningful relationships is also a symptom with cptsd. Within the killing game we definitely know that he’s formed a very close bond with Hiroaki, and even though they have a lot of hiccups Ojima always tries to get them back together. Although despite this, Hiroaki is really the only person Ojima has a close bond with within the killing game. He does try to be friendly with the others but doesn’t go out of his way to make friends. And within his outside life the only close connections he has is his older brothers, and we know that even with them being the closet people to him he still has a lot of trouble opening up and letting them help them. So I do definitely feel he fits this category as well.

With all of this I’m very sure Ojima specifically has cptsd, and it probably wasn’t specified as it’s hard to diagnose. But he fits all of the symptoms of both regular ptsd and the complex variant as well as long term trauma to make me feel confident on this. Might’ve yapped about this a lot as it’s something I’m super interested in as has done a lot of research with to understand Ojima’s character as it’s so interesting. And yeah I definitely hope they go into more detail surrounding his condition as we do see the symptoms as I bought up, but since it was an important statement in the series I really want to learn more about how Ojima deals with it. Especially with how he’s in a tough spot when it comes to his mental health that he was very adamant about shutting down having anxiety and the fact that the ptsd was mentioned in confession game along with the abusive means it’s a very sensitive topic for him. His student profile became important in trial 4 and I don’t think they’re just gonna leave that plot line up in the air so I hope we’ll get more info about Ojima’s condition in this chapter.

So about the motive, staffside has confirmed that all the stuff going on is not related to the motives. It also wouldn’t be on of the doctors as knowing what goes on there they would’ve been found out immediately and promptly executed, so it’s definitely one of the students who’s causing this chaos. But this is something to take into consideration as it’s likely that the person who planted the drugs in Hiroaki’s room also sent the death threat to Tamba, so since they’ve done it twice they very well might strike again. In my opinion I don’t think they’ll try to trigger Ojima’s ptsd if they do target him. Something like that would be similar to how Okazaki was triggering Wada by locking him in small spaces and stuff and since the culprit doesn’t want to be caught by going to measures such as typing the note I feel that’d be too risky.

But if Ojima is targeted I do think it’s much more likely they’ll involve his student profile in some way. As like I said it became important in the previous trial and there was some stuff bought up about it but never expanded upon so it might come back as a plot point. And Ojima was incredibly distressed over Hasegawa reading a bit of his student profile so they would definitely be aware that could be damaging to him. Although in order to do that they’d have to steal the student profile from Hayashi’s room which would be very hard to do. So I don’t know if there are gonna be other instances like what we’ve seen but if Ojima is going to get targeted it’s likely someone’s gonna try and leak his profile, but we don’t know enough about the situation to properly guess what’s gonna happen next or if he’s even gonna be involved.

With Ojima’s mother, I feel like it’s most likely she was emotionally and physically abusive just like his father, as well as not caring about any of the other abuse that was going on and likely participating in the gaslighting as Ojima had nowhere to go as a child, hence why he developed maladaptive daydreaming. And yes as you said in [Purple] it’s said that Shigeo beat his kids as from what Hiroaki was talking about the situation, and like I said Ojima’s mother was in prison for the same reasons it’s likely she also participated in that. We don’t know too much about her but in an ask Von confirmed that Ojima’s mother is in prison for the same reason as his father. And as well Hasegawa did directly say that in canon. Also in [Tech Support] Ojima did say that he doesn’t like that side of his family very much and his good family are his brothers, so it’s definitely seems he doesn’t like his mother along with the rest of the adults of his family.