#i just want to see the more empathetic human side of him so bad

[kakiastro]

2024: The Year of the Dragon

Well, we made yall! This was a 7 ruled year, ruled by the Moon, Neptune, and South Node. This year had us all deep in our feelings. So many people had their first spiritual awakening, others psychic gifts has strengthened. This year was teaching us on how to listen to our intuition. If you’re a creative, then this year was really the year ideas and projects came to you. With the moon here, so many people started their own families, so many woman in my personal life had babies this year lol. Our family dynamics changed, our homes may have changed. Lots of early life/past lives issues smacked us in the face this year, a lot of people started their healing journey.

This year is an 8 ruled year.

8 rules over the spiritual and materialistic world. 8 is balance, it means you need to balance being in our world and the spiritual.

8 is also an infinity symbol, hence why is it’s a loop. What loops(patterns)have you been stuck in? This year will show you that and what loops you need to get out of

8 also have a deep love for humanity, so I personally expect more protest against wars, those who are really suffering in our world. There’s going to be a strong empathy pull. Make no mistake though, the number 8 also rules over authority, social status, ego, inner strength and wisdom. While there’s a lot of love, there’s going to lots of people having unchecked egos so be careful of that. Listening to others opinions(whether you agree or not) will be a collective lesson.

The number 8 is ruled by Saturn and Capricorn. This is a Saturnian year. So to my fellow Saturnians/Capricorn placements/10h, we are the first in line the classroom (earth) this year lol.

Saturn is in Pisces, so fellow Caps, and everyone really, I feel we are going to continue being in our feelings and will begin to open our hearts to others. Capricorn is a reserved sign, doesn’t really show outward emotions, they would rather cry in private or in the shower😅. Not this year LoL, this year is teaching us that it’s okay to not be okay, it’s okay to be open about it as well. We will meet people who will show us the magical side of life. Saturn is a realism and pessimistic sign, but Pisces is the sign of hope, magic and fantasy. Remember, Pisces is also co ruled by Jupiter which is currently in Taurus. What is success to you? Is this success to you because this is what you were taught or is this what you really want? These are the type of questions you will be asking yourself.

8 is the number for Karma as well. Karma isn’t what many people think it is lol. Karma isn’t just some revenge type of thing lol. Also, Karma isn’t always bad either so get that out your mindset as well. Bad things happen to good people all the time, you being a good person doesn’t exempt you of messed up situations. If anything, it’s to make you become more empathetic and self aware of the bad things. Karma can be good as well

The etymology of karma is from the Sanskrit meaning “Action, Effect, Fate”

Karma is what you do that will cause a ripple/effect that can change your fate.

Example:

1. You get into a relationship and everything is going great for a year. Then you discovered your partner cheated. Your hurt and say “karma will get him and I can’t wait to watch.”

2. Months go by and you see your cheater ex is in a new relationship, treating this new partner better than you. You start thinking “karmas not real because if it was, why are they living the good life?” Meanwhile, you’re still picking up the pieces to heal but you’re healing is the key word.

3. Little do you know, your ex had cheated on you with someone who’s only using them and they end up getting cheated on. It wasn’t because of you, know they created that ripple for themselves. They let there ego and lust dictate there actions. If they would’ve had any control, they would’ve known not to do this so the Universe/God let the domino fall. They may end struggling with their career, health, spiritually to teach them to grow and learn. Now will they? That’s up to them. Just because someone appears to be doing well from the outside doesn’t mean that they really are or going to be.

4. You’ve done your healing and now know what you want and the red flags to look out for. You end up in an actual healthy relationship. A friend of yours suspects her partner of cheating and asked for your advice. Because you went through this, you know the signs. Because of this, you helped her. See that domino effect lol

That was long but I hope that makes sense you all! I have a mercury Rx in my chart so my thoughts go everywhere lol.

One of the first biggest events of 2024 is that Pluto enters Aquarius

Dates: January 20th - September 1st

Then: it will go back in Capricorn for the last time in our lifetime in September 1- November 20th.

Finally: it will go into Aquarius November 20th, where it will stay unto 2043. Y’all this is a 20 year transit!! So many changes are about to happen

I’ve already made a post about this transit, you can read it here!

2024 is the year of the dragon, in the element Wood.

Dragons are seen as honorable, strength, success

Wood represents vitality and creativity

-this is good year to pursue your goals and if you’re consistent, you will achieve success.

Eclipses

First Lunar eclipse will be on March 25th.

It will be in the sign of Libra! Which is where South Node currently is as well. Relationships with our family and within our home will be highlighted. The house that Libra rules in your chart will tell you how this will

First Solar eclipse will be on April 8th

It will be in the sign of Aries with NN being in it. Setting new goals for yourself, starting something new in your life, be bold and brave.

2nd Lunar eclipse is in Pisces on September 17th. Hello feelings lol! Pisces will have us sit alone and think about our most hidden thoughts and they will be highlighted. This is a good time for spiritual growth.

2nd Solar eclipse is in Libra on October 2nd. Relationships will be the hot topic for 2024. I predict so many people are going to be breaking up, finding love, having new friendships, family relationships are going to be changing, collaborating with people, justice, fairness will all be themes

Mercury Retrogrades will be in fire signs this year

First Mercury Rx is in Aries on April 1st-25th. Thinking and planning your goals, making sure everything is in order.

2nd Rx is August 4th-28th in the sign of Virgo and Leo. It’s giving say it with your chest energy but not too much lol. Be brave with your thoughts but try to think rationally as well.

3rd Rx is November 25th in Sagittarius. Time for us to reflect on our ideals that we’ve learned. Look at different philosophies point of view

Another big Astrological event is the Jupiter-Uranus in Taurus conjunction on April 20th.

Jupiter is the planet if expansion, higher learning, traveling and religion

Uranus is the planet of change, science of medicine, innovation and rebellion.

Taurus is the 2nd sign of the zodiac and it rules over our finances, self worth, our possessions, food, beauty, nature such as forest and trees.

What do I predict with this transit:

-huge breakthroughs with regarding medicines and innovative discoveries

-something dealing with travel or immigration

-I suspect some type if change regarding the church or how people view the church (pastors, priest etc)

-something dealing with our food and us being more aware about our own dietary choices. What’s not good for us and what goes in our food basically

On May 25th, Jupiter leaves Taurus and enters airy sign Gemini. It will be in Gemini until 2025

The best way to describe this transit is communication!!! Remember Jupiter expands everything so we will be more open about our thoughts and standing on business on what we say! I feel there’s going to be a huge influx on the dire need to want to go back to school and learn new things. Big cars are going to the thing everyone will want to have! If you’re a writer, this can be a good year to write that book and get it published, all the way up until 2025 at least.

Mars Go Rx December 6th- February 23rd 2025, in the sign of Cancer and Leo!

This is poignant because Mars only go retrograde every 2 years! The last Rx was 2021-2022 ish and it was in Gemini

With it switching from water and fire, emotions will be be high. Really check your emotions during this time, this can be a good time to sort your home out, being motivated to start something like a creative outlet.

As you all can see, this is going to be an eventful year but I’m wishing you all happy and memorable one! To those who’ve been following me this year, I just want to say thank you! thank you! thank you!

With love and gratitude

-kaki

[baltears]

im obsessed w how the different seasons explore different ways women can try to cope w abusive men

s5 spoilers!

beck -> hes normal! (no hes not. this is the simplest one bc the relationship is the most shallow, he was 100% masking the whole time he was with her up until the end and she was just whistling past red flags in a very typical and normal way for someone who's never been in a relationship with a habitual abuser)

love -> hes just like me! (true - BUT he's still judgmental of himself deep down and in denial about his behaviors atp, and he's a misogynist, so he'll be even more judgmental of you.)

marienne -> he has trauma like mine! (true but also what makes him unsafe bc he didn't respond to it with a real and sustained effort to recover. i do think it's worth noting that she was kinda last in first out as far as joe's gf/victims went, she was resistant to the relationship initially, ran as soon as she had evidence of serious red flags, and managed to just barely escape him bc she has gone through some substantial recovery and has reconnected the most to survival instinct, so was able to respond relatively functionally to the life or death situation he put her in)

kate -> he can choose be good for me! (he technically can but really no longer wants to - she might have recognized this if she ever paid close attention to what was happening, but she understandably chose willful blindness)

bronte -> i can fix him! (you can trap him into listening and then say the perfectly calculated thing in exactly the right way and it will be cathartic and emotional for him, but it's not a substitute for long term recovery that he has truly committed to and so there will not be any lasting change. i lovvvveee how bronte is written btw like truly such a masterful depiction of someone who WOULD be ok with joe not bc she's ok with murder but bc like beck she is in a moment of extreme personal confusion, looking for connection and identity, & does have a side of her that feels similarly to him in terms of wanting 'bad people' to suffer – but ultimately she recognizes that he is a misogynist and not interested at all in doing the right thing bc he's detached completely from caring about reality)

its just such a clever and empathetic fucking show because Of Course traumatized people want to connect with other traumatized people, of course we can and often will empathize with figures like Joe if we come from a background of trauma. I feel empathy for Joe throughout the entire show. But irl empathy will not necessarily protect you from someone who is unsafe and people cannot be saved unless they choose to save themselves. As heartbreaking as Joe's suicide attempt was (for me) to watch and as misguided as I think it was, that was his last real effort toward trying to save himself and trying to stay connected with reality and do the right thing. The self who knew deep down that hurting others was wrong was who died that day, because Joe could not separate the idea of doing wrong things from the idea of being a wrong person, and his survival skewed his reality completely bc he's a person who believes in patterns and the universe telling him things and he thought not dying meant he was being told it was all okay (bc not dying = "I'm a good person"* = everything i do is justifiable). it all comes from such a real place but the harm he does is so real too and that's the dilemma of his character. you can feel such kinship and connection with someone else and that can be very real but it is not a shield. if they don't see you as a human being and are no longer accessible to repeated reality checks, it's not your job to reach them and it can never be fully safe for you to try. and misogyny is not a sleeping curse you can wake someone up from, they have to want to work through it themselves.

*remember this is a false binary, like everyone else he was always a neutral person choosing to do bad things sometimes and good things other times

[jesterkoops]

I have a couple of things I mused about in comments around here that I feel like developing into their own post. Since this one's gotten too long, I'm going to split them in two separate posts.

Re: Mark & Gemma

There's a lot of debate/denial about whether their love transcended severance or not, and also linked to the question of when love does transcend severance and when it does not. I honestly don't know if this is an answer the show will ever give us, or is something that will always be left to interpretation.

But, for Mark & Gemma, it did not transcend. Not completely at least. Definitely not on Mark's side.

This is canon and repeated again and again both in universe and by Dan, Ben, and Adam. So there's no way around this. No "well, but he did grow attached to Ms Casey". Attached is a strong word. He was empathetic towards her as another fellow innie/human being, and wanted to help her. His sculpting the tree has to do with the pain/guilt he carries within him (and we know the body stores the trauma; also reason why they're testing this new chip on Gemma), and the love o!Mark had for Gemma, but has nothing to do with how i!Mark feels towards Ms Casey.

And I think the answer to why it didn't is two-fold.

I think one reason it did not transcend is because Gemma is fitted with a new generation chip that is designed to provide an even stronger barrier than the one currently in use and do things the current chips can't do, like sever someone multiple times. So just as it stops the trauma of the miscarriage when she has to dismantle a crib, it might stop any chance of love transcending once she's on the severed floor as Ms Casey. And Ms Casey is something else entirely. Ms Casey seems to be something Cobel was trying that was harnessing this new chip in some new way. While Gemma's testing floor innies are still a Gemma in a different environment with her memories wiped, Ms Casey seems to have more than just her memories wiped. It's like what was wiped was also that humanity that allows that human connection with other people. I think that persona would not be able to trigger any "muscle memory" of having loved her in Mark because Ms Casey is a empty shell of Gemma, not just a Gemma in a different environment. Contrast this with Helena who carries Helly inside her, and viceversa, and how that does permeate to Mark on the outside.

The second reason, and perhaps the most important, is something @maatdraws explained quite nicely already, and that is that Mark's love for Gemma looks like had already started to fade by the time of her 'death', as we see in 2x07. Like I said in a comment under that post, writers don't include details and content for no reason. Not to bring everything back to ASOIAF/Jaime Lannister, but it reminds me of people dismissing Jaime's boner in the bath with Brienne as "well guys get boners all the time, no big deal!". Yeah, except this is not a real person, it's a character in a story, and when the writer points your attention to a reaction or a line or a detail it's for a reason that is supposed to drive the plot. They did want to hint at Mark's investment in the relationship withering away, leading up to that "I said I love you" from Gemma before she leaves. That line they also gave Dr Mauer when one of Gemma's innies is about to leave the room in a clear parallel. And how it's clear in that scene that she her response is forced because she does not love him.

I don't obviously mean that Mark doesn't love Gemma the way Gemma doesn't love Dr Mauer of course. He does love her. But that that love had started to cool off. Maybe because that's the way it does end up being in many many marriages that start and develop through those same traditional check-boxes we saw them tick in 2x07 (and tbh he is just a pretty bad listener and rather apathetic, look at his dynamic with Alexa too - just like he didn't listen to Gemma about ants vs plants, he didn't listen to Alexa about her being from Montana and not Minnesota). Maybe also because he is someone who checks out when things get difficult.

Which also explains the way he reacted to her death. Suddenly things were OVERWHELMINGLY difficult, so what does he do? Quite quickly after her death he goes off and severs himself, so he can spend 8 hours a day turned off, and the rest drunk or asleep, with Gemma's stuff in the basement out of sight. He doesn't even try to mourn her. He doesn't even give himself time to say "I can't cope with the grief". And I think that a lot of that pain was guilt more than actual grief. Guilt at not going with her, guilt that he could have been better, guilt that the last thing he said to her was a distracted goodbye where he had to be prompted. But had she not "died", he would have probably just continued to drift away. Would this have led to a divorce? Probably not. But it might have just turned into one of many lukewarm marriages.

And I think this might tie in with what Dan's vision for the show has been since the beginning, and the ending he often talks about being unchanged despite the evolution of the show. That Mark was always meant to never get his wife back. I kind of started to put the pieces together while replying to comments under an anon I was replying to and thinking about the original outline - the one where Mark and Helly did not have a romance and Dan considered making Helly the wife, but then created Ms Casey/Gemma because Helly would have been too easy to guess. If Mark and Helly were not meant to be romantic, and Helly being the wife was a viable option, it might mean Mark's love with his wife was never meant to transcend severance. And once they created Ms Casey/Gemma, Helly became her own character and she was 'free' from the plans Dan had for an endgame and could become her own story. And her relationship with Mark could become its own thing. Again, it reminds me of GRRM's original outline for ASOIAF, where Jaime was supposed to be the 'evil king' character and then he split this character into Jaime and Cersei and each character became their own thing with their own arc.

But the endgame where the wife is concerned remained unchanged. If you combine it with so many quotes recently from Dan and Ben about this always having been the story of someone who becomes whole through accepting their pain and grief, it adds even more weight to this idea. Or the fact that Dan said he didn't have a clear plan for Ms Casey/Gemma beyond her being the wife and the Cold Harbor stuff. What pain and grief is there to accept for Mark now that his wife is alive? The pain of acknowledging he was losing her even before he lost her, and that the choices he made after she was gone mean he is going to lose her anyway.

And/or maybe... maybe Mark's grief isn't over Gemma, but over himself. He has to let go of the person that he was in order to move on and become a better man. That also fits with the theme Dan talked about of becoming whole through discovering new parts of yourself and embracing them. Maybe o!Mark's journey is to realise that Mark Scout is the past and he should let it go. And that he was not all that great after all. He said it to Reghabi that maybe he could have done things differently, and listened more, and Mark S IS doing better and listening more ("I'm a little nervous"/"Turn around and bend over" vs. "I am nervous"/"Me too. It's ok."). And that by embracing Mark S he can move on to a new, better version of himself.

[onedappercat]

Why Does the Ortolan Sing?

Repost and Announcement

One year ago today I posted the first chapter of my 120k word human Good Omens AU. I may be the only person this matters to, but I felt I had to make a post regarding it.

I received such wonderful comments on Ortolan as I was posting it and have received even more since. The story is very dear to me, so I wanted to share it again, and make an announcement, on it’s anniversary.

https://archiveofourown.org/works/55608847/chapters/141520924

Explicit, 120k words

Summary: Azira is preparing his family’s bookshop to reopen when he is captivated by a busker. Despite hearing about the man’s troublesome partner, he chooses to peruse a friendship with the crimson songbird.

Ortolan is told entirely from Azira’s perspective. This was a conscious decision made to put the viewer in the shoes of someone who cares for a person in a toxic relationship and the frustration you feel at seeing a good person make excuses for a bad one. But even situations like this have another side that, no matter how empathetic you may be, you can’t know unless you live it yourself. It’s easy to get upset with someone who everyone around sees is with someone wrong for them, but you don’t truly know their history.

When writing Azira’s side, there were also points I had to write Crowley’s. These were never shown in the original story, but I felt it was important enough to know his side and why he did the things he did. After speaking with readers of Ortolan, it felt like it was worth it to flesh out the story fully. So if you’ve read Why Does the Ortolan Sing, I hope this cover will elicit some feelings. Currently in the final stages of being written is Crowley’s side of the story: An Ortolan’s Song. This story starts just after a 14-year-old Crowley’s first time with Luciano and follows his life up to, during, and after the events of the main story.

And below the cut is a short excerpt from chapter one of An Ortolan’s Song. I hope you’ll enjoy it when it officially comes out. ❤️

CW: References made to the first intimate encounter between teenagers.

“I love you, Anthony.”

Crowley’s eyes grew wide, a smile breaking despite his exhaustion. He turned in Luciano’s grip, wiggling around in his tight embrace to face the older boy.

“You mean it?”

“Would I lie to you?” Luciano grinned, pulling Crowley tight to his naked body. The friction caused a fresh splinter to break Crowley’s skin, earning a wince he couldn’t hide. He couldn’t vocalize that his hands and knees were covered in splinters from rubbing against the rough wood of the dock. He didn’t want to tell Luciano the breeze coming off the lake was chilling him to the bone — not after being told he loves him. He couldn’t be so selfish as to ruin this moment. “Now you’re mine, understand? I don’t want you getting with anybody else.”

“Of course!” Crowley chirped brightly. He blindly picked at a splinter, his eyes still locked on Luciano. The stars sparkling overhead, the gentle creaking of a small boat tied off the dock, the bats diving to snatch up bugs flitting above the lake — Luciano had chosen the perfect location for his first time. He had been able to see the reflection of the stars in the water as they twinkled to life, the city lights of London long left behind. In the unadulterated darkness that surrounded them, it was as though they were bathing in the cosmos themselves. Only the rough wood of the dock could take Crowley out of his mind palace of cosmic eternity.

@goodomensafterdark

[tookishcombeferre]

So spoilers for some thoughts I’ve been drawing together based on today’s panels below the cut.

So, I’ve been having LOADS of fun chatting in the form, but I wanted to distill some of the thoughts that have been bouncing like ping pong balls around my head here on my tumblr.

The first thing I want to discuss is how impressed I am with the lodgers who seem to “get” Jekyll to varying degrees. And, I wanted to call attention some of Jekyll’s intersections.

First of all, Jekyll is NOT English! This important! Jekyll is from Glasgow. Now, when his family got there could be really interesting because, much like the infamous potato famine of Ireland, there was a famine in Scotland as well during the late 1840s and early 1850s that was incredibly brutal.

And, while Glasgow was seen as another wondrous and incredible city during the Victorian era, the Scottish people themselves WERE NOT treated with the same kindness or respect as people who spoke with the proper British accents or were part of proper British culture. Much like in Ireland, the Scottish language and culture was almost eradicated in favor of conformity to English custom. This was really beautifully illustrated at one point when I believe Lanyon comments about how Jekyll could “barely be understood.” I get where Lanyon is coming from, I guess, but you’d think bro-bro would be more empathetic given his own sets of intersections? But, I suppose it also shows how well he has been indoctrinated/ had to assimilate into English culture himself.

The Society is comprised of a BUNCH of immigrants who have, actually, been allowed to retain bits and pieces of themselves and their uniqueness. Despite losing himself to conform, Jekyll has never made it a requirement that the lodgers lose themselves in the balance. Instead, he has built the society as a safe haven. Not JUST for science, but for people.

Second, Jekyll is queer. This is like SUPER important. In Victorian society, this would have been fairly taboo despite the fact that it was the worst kept secret that people dabbled in queerness all the time during the Victorian era. Just like in the modern era, some folks compartmentalize their feelings better than others. Jekyll doesn’t. Period. He sees his attractions as bad and something to be kept secret because, at every turn, that’s what other people are doing.

Lanyon gets married to someone of the opposite gender for saftey. Lanyon has learned the art of blending in because Lanyon *has* to! He may not want to, but, for his safety he has to! We as readers see this. We get it. We see Lanyon’s intersections and the complexity of his character. But, Jekyll doesn’t. He’s human! He’s hurting!And, he doesn’t want to show that because he’s worried about losing Lanyon because of what he’s seen Lanyon do to all the other boyfriends before Jekyll. Pain is one heck of a blinder, and Lanyon and Jekyll are both wearing them as they pull the carriage of the Society side by side.

So, Jekyll swallows his hurt towards Lanyon’s arranged marriage too. He swallows the pain of abandonment. Jekyll doesn’t understand that Lanyon sees them as equals. He can’t. He’s not of the same class as Lanyon or anything. Lanyon has bought him everything, has taught him everything. So, Jekyll has no one to confide in because he constantly feels like he has something to prove because he is not good. No one of his sexuality or place of origin could ever be good in high society! Jekyll has had to learn everything! He feels as though he owes Lanyon everything! How can he not!? So, Jekyll has to be perfect for everyone, to deserve anything, because he has no value. No one of his class, his place of origin, or his sexuality has value in the society in which he lives. His country, his people, and his city are a tourist destination for rich people. He’s a toy for rich people. And, Lanyon doesn’t see that or think that at all! However, Jekyll can’t unsee that. Yet, neither of them communicate, and that is the beginning of the end. (I love these two so much. I understand every single choice both of them made and why they make it. I just want them BOTH to be HAPPY!!!! UGHHH!)

All that to say, Jekyll learns to swallow his emotions. He learns to swallow his culture, his music, and his accent. He learns how to bury his sexuality. He even learns how to swallow his over-eager child-like curiosity because no one wants it.

And, the question is, how far do we go before we really do shatter apart?

It’s clear that the lodgers who really seem to get it are the ones who share some of those same intersections.

Miss Ito and Jasper, who have secrets of their own they wouldn’t share with just anyone. The people who know what it’s like to have a “secret hidden person” living inside them for a long, long time as they try to figure out who to tell, who it’s safe to tell, and if it’s not more loving never to tell? (I say this as a transmasc person who at about a month shy of 30 is still navigating coming out in my entirety to my family.)

You see the lodgers who understand what Jekyll has sacrificed in terms of time and how much they’ve all fought him on everything. They see how tired he is. Given that, I have hope for Lanyon getting it completely. I really do. I have hope for him. He’s a bit lovably thick at times, but I have hope for him. He’ll get it, and he’ll be helpful. He’ll feel guilty as hell. But, I have hope for those two lovable doofuses to finally talk and understand each other.

But, you also see the very valid concerns of the people who just cannot understand those mix of identities because they’ve never had to live them. I see where they see Jekyll putting them in danger. I can see that concern. I understand their fears. So, I don’t have much more to say on that. I see their concerns. I do. But, I also have SO much sympathy for Jekyll and for the Lodgers who see what he’s given them because I’ve been Jekyll. I’ve spent 9 years not telling my family who I am in the fullness of myself because I love ‘em too darn much. I tried to bury my trans, queer, and autistic identities for the sake of my work as a school teacher because my district required me to do so, and it nearly drove myself to the brink of a long term meltdown in the process. It’s hard not to feel sympathy for the Jekyll’s of the world because even if the end results SUCK the intention was, mostly, pure.

And, as for Jekyll himself?

I’ve had this thought brewing for WEEKS. We know that, for the most part, Hyde, the Lodgers, and Rachel (to a greater or lesser extent) see Hyde as an entity unto himself. But, when Jekyll said he wanted to “see Hyde suffer?” Was he really talking to himself because he knows that Hyde is really just him, or, at least, a part of him. We know that Jekyll’s self hatred runs deep. And, if anyone knows that Hyde is Jekyll, it’s Jekyll himself. Edited to add: I now can confirm that Jekyll was aware of this fact. He absolutely knew and was punishing himself. Thanks to further dialogue in the forum with the lovely Puzzle. This theory is a confirmed theory. And, I am sad, but vindicated.

If you read all this, thanks! I needed to flush all my thoughts out coherently in order.

[ragingtabbycat]

Some allo people have no empathy for what the aroace experience is actually like

Someone just texted me “being aroace seems like a pretty good deal” after putting me in a position where I had to reject him for the third time. After being out to him about being aroace for years.

Do you think it feels good to have to reject people? I know being rejected sucks and being in a position where fundamentally you will be rejected sucks. Doing the rejecting also sucks. It fucking sucks when the person in question knows it’s a hopeless pursuit, when they know it could never happen. Thanks a lot for putting me in a position where I have to reject you again. Where I have to be empathetic and tactful because you are my friend and I like spending time with you. I’m sorry but at no point did you ever have any empathy for the position you put me in. I have to play the mediator, the balancer, I have to put everyone else’s emotions above my own. I don’t have this ‘vital’ human experience, I don’t have this specific complex bag of emotions that comes with romance; therefore I don’t have my own complex emotions about people and relationships. He doesn’t respect my identity. He thinks maybe if he confesses enough, I’ll want him back. He doesn’t get that I just am not like that. Stop giving me the emotional burden of the exchange. He lets everything out, and I have to do all the emotional labour. He did all this knowing the outcome and now we are both unhappy and uncomfortable. If he was even a little bit empathetic of me, he’d get that everyone else, also thinks this way. So many people think that they are the ‘one’ that I might just like. People put me in this position over and over again thinking that they are special that they are different. “Being aroace seems like a pretty good deal” only if you’ve just been rejected and feel bad about it.

The actual aroace experience of a complex balancing act of trying to build the relationships you want without leading people on. Keeping everyone at arm’s length lest they fall in love with you. That sinking dread knowing that someone is growing attracted to you and they are going to try something about it and it will make things awkward, it will fuck the friendship up at least for a little bit because they’ve moved into some ‘higher’ state of relationship and you haven’t. Knowing they want something that you just can’t give to them. I want deep friendships but everyone just sees them as a stepping stone to ‘something more’. Being ‘friendzoned’ is a bad thing. I have one genuine deep emotional friendship, that I trust completely, that there isn’t this fear that I am going to have to reject them at some point. I want a network of strong friendships, and I can’t have that, but you can’t have your romance with me either, so I guess we’re both miserable. It sucks being the designated empathy machine, it sucks having to reject people over and over again.

I constantly have this attitude, from multiple people, that being aroace is optimal, people think that the worse thing that could ever happen to someone is rejection and heartbreak. They don’t stop to think from my perspective, being rejected is a rare occurrence anyway, it only happens when you ask, when you take a step forward. This is my life, this is my existence. I have to do this every day. This isn’t even covering the social expectations that you defy just by being aroace. I’ve sorry, but if you think “Being aroace seems like a pretty good deal”, you have never even considered what it might be like from the other side. People have this attitude that being aroace is a lot more flexible than it actually is, at least in my experience.

Don’t get me wrong, I like being aroace, it is who I am. But attitudes like this make me want to scream. Cause being aroace doesn't suck, but how everyone treats you for being aroace certainly does.

[moonlightbambiii]

The more I think about it, the more I realise why I love President Snow as a villain so much— like I genuinely think he is a very well written villain within the context of the world of The Hunger Games and his character reveals so much to us about the characters of real people who do so many terrible things while being in power.

Thinking about how in TBOSAS, Snow was in constant close proximity towards people who were inherently good and were empathetic towards District people. Both Tigris and Sejanus were examples of people who cared and had basic human empathy.

And even though yes, him and his family were impoverished and he wanted to have access to social mobility which is why he was hell-bent on trying to win the Games and get the scholarship. But that's the difference between him and Tigris I suppose

Tigris was also wanting to have a better life and she made some difficult sacrifices to put food on the table but her decisions came from love for Coriolanus and not from self-importance. We constantly see that contrast between Snow and the 'good' people he's in close proximity to, whether it was Lucy Gray, Sejanus or Tigris

Snow's ego was however bigger than his love or care for any of these characters which is why he could be manipulated into viewing the 'world as an arena' instead of staying on the side of natural goodness as Lucy Gray puts it.

And then finally years later when he has already perpetuated so much harm on so many people, when he is confronted by rebellion in SOTR and in the trilogy, the only reason he is willing to admit to the fragility of the system in place is because he knows he has the power to use his own words against people like Katniss and Haymitch and so many others who tried to rebel.

I think that's why finally his ending in Mockingjay sticks with me so much because truly beneath all of it he is a mere man. He is actually just a regular dude at the very core (and also such a fucking loser let's be SO REAL rn) that it tells you that literally all of us are susceptible to falling into the trap of seeing the bad in humans are more important than the good and thus wanting to put a system in place that is designed to 'control' them but in truth it tortures everyone.

Wow, Suzanne Collins I'm in awe.

[lurkingshan]

Once again I'm here because I'm angry. There's been a lot of talk about Boston and what Jojo wanted or not to say about sluts and whatever. I, and other people I think, were struggling with the idea that Jojo would actually want that message out. So I went to see some interviews. And got kinda shocked about one thing that he said. (btw this is an actual quote.) He was talking about Boston reasons for his behaviour Jojo: Bad people don't need to have a backstory. They are just born sluts. A bad character doesn't need... (and then the interviewer says - he doesn't need tragedy to be bad) Exactly. And then he gets asked if he thinks Boston needs redemption and he emphatically says NO. And then talking about how much fun is writing the character he says this: Boston is such a fun character to write. yeah unpredictable he's like, he doesn't care. he doesn't have morals so we just like goes with the flow. bad people? no morals? humm... i don't know... So yeah, now I don't really know what to think about it. I was wondering what are your thoughts about this. I'm still gonna watch some more of this, because I'm a masochist that needs all the information, but yeah, I thought I would share. Thanks for the space

Yiiiiiikes. Okay, first let me preface this by saying that whenever I am reading/watching something that was either translated to English or spoken in English by a person with a different first language, I try not to get too hung up on specific word choice. By necessity we tend to go for the simplest possible words to convey meaning in those situations, and thus a lot of nuance gets stripped out.

That said, the sentiment is clear: Jojo saw Boston as a villain character without a moral code that he could deploy to cause chaos wherever he liked in the story. And he is definitely conflating his villainy with sexual promiscuity, which is the worst part of this quote and unfortunately aligns with the way that finale, and ultimately the themes of the show, were written. It definitely makes me side eye Jojo and as I’ve already said, I won’t be so inclined to trust him nearly as much next time.

Only Friends, however, has more than one writer, and I don’t think they all see it this way. If you think Boston is purely an irredeemable slut, you don’t write his breakup and reunion with Nick in the way that this show did. You don’t give depth to his situation with Atom. You don’t show his sincere emotion, his hurt, and his earnest desire to be with Nick while he can. With all the info we have now and in retrospect, it kind of feels like there was a bit of a tug-o-war going on with Boston’s story.

My understanding is that Den Panuwat, one of three writers on the show, is the one who adapted the novel version of the story, and there he changed Boston’s final arc significantly. Rather than Boston fucking Atom, he made his final conflict about his dad’s political career with Boston’s sexuality being used as a weapon against him. He wrote Boston and Nick ending on good terms. And he wrote a final chapter for Boston where he arrives in New York, finds a more accepting society and queer community who accept and understand him, and thrives.

I’m sure there were some non-artistic reasons why we couldn’t get this version of the story in the show (the politics story was likely vetoed for censorship reasons and they probably couldn’t afford to show us Boston in NY, for example), but the fact that Den wrote it signals that his perspective on Boston is not fully aligned with what Jojo said in that quote above. Perhaps we have him to thank for the empathetic portrayal and humanity we did see in Boston despite Jojo’s perspective on him. And Den has another show coming soon, so maybe we’ll see a clearer read of his own perspective on queer sexual politics without the GMMTV restrictions when we watch Playboyy.

[beigepillow]

I honestly feel so bad for doumeki and how people disregard him, alot of people forget that D is also human, he feels pain, he gets angry, he feels joy and he also bleeds like a person but people just think his some kinda robot that isn't meant to feel any kind of emotion.

A perfect example of this is people's reaction to doumeki and how he is treating yashiro at this moment ( I love my boy yashiro and I understand why he did what he did) but that doesn't excuse his actions towards doumeki and doumeki has every right to be pissed with him, but people still feel that he doesn't have the right to be mad because he was the one following yashiro like a lost puppy and that he deserves what he got.

No one deserves to be treated like that, that was just so damn painful to watch and the fact that doumeki doesn't even hold that against him shows just how pure he is, he only ever gets upset when yashiro sleeps around partially because he gets jealous but mostly because he doesn't like the fact that yashiro sees himself as nothing but a sex doll, even now he's sleeping with him partially because of jealousy but mostly because he's protecting him....he loves yashiro so much that he's willing to sacrifice his own happiness just to always be with him to protect him, doumeki isn't as complex as people think he's a pretty simply guy he never does anything without a reason and his only reason for still because in the Yakuza world is because yashiro is in it, I just hope they sort themselves out and finally admit their love for each other because yashiro is at a breaking point and the next time they meet he may snap and not in a good way.

What do you think about this? Am I reading too much into this?

First, I want to reiterate that people can have whatever opinion they like. It is important to have diverse opinions in fandom to get all different kinds of perspective. That being said I do wish there were more Doumeki defenders out there but it is what it is. I have noticed an uptick in people who want to defend Doumeki based on the asks and comments I get and hopefully one day they’ll make posts themselves. I don’t see myself as a Doumeki expert or anything like that. i just try to see things from his pov in an empathetic light but I am sure I get things wrong since it is all a guessing game. I also do criticize Doumeki myself a bit. I don’t think it is his right to decide who Yashiro has sex with and I wish there was less dub con in the sexual emconuters he initiated but I also think at times I criticized him based on my real life morals instead of through a saezuru lens. But I also criticize Yashiro as well because no character is above criticism to me. What Yashiro did in volume 6 was wrong and he knows it was wrong. He purposely acted in that way so Doumeki would leave him so he was well aware that he was being an asshole to Doumeki even if he has an excuse for it. But I disagree that Doumeki follows him around like a puppy just to be by his side. In volume 6, he follows Yashiro around to keep him from committing suicide!!!! I feel like that is glossed over a lot for some reason and Doumeki is just reduced to only caring about being with Yashiro even to the detriment of Yashiro. I also am not a big fan of the take that he deserves whatever since he sticks around because as I have said before, the same can be said about Yashiro. Yashiro isn’t Doumeki’s hostage and like I mentioned is getting quite a bit of space from him and is still choosing Doumeki. I actually think Doumeki is a very complex character (as complex as Yashiro) and he does seem to harbor resentment towards Yashiro at times. But so what? Why do his negative emotions get demonized so much? Why is he not allowed to have his emotions cloud his judgement at times and get forgiven for it (of course based on what he does) just like Yashiro or really all of us in real life? At the end of the day, I hope to see more Doumeki centric posts but until then I am just going to enjoy the fandom. It is only a manga at the end of the day.

[otakween]

Digimon Data Squad (Savers) - Episode 20

Woohoo! I've reached the 20 episode mark :D only 28 to go. This is actually one of the shorter seasons which I can definitely get behind.

This episode was pretty emotional with a lot of pretty complex feelings for a kid's show tbh. I really appreciated that they didn't just make it a happy reunion, there's too much trauma on both sides. We even got a cliff hanger ending...

Notes:

I'm onto you Digimon Savers character designer. First you made Masaru's mom all young and pretty (and have Tohma have a crush on her) and now you draw Ikuto's mom...like that. 😏

I rest my case.

Was surprised to see that Ikuto has a sister (makes sense they'd want to fill the void). I hope we get to see them officially meet/interact

I don't really know how to feel about how Masaru treats Ikuto. Ikuto identifies as a digimon because of his upbringing and saw Yukidarumon as his mom. Masaru's way of handling things is basically just to scream at Ikuto that he's a human with a human mom. I just feel like he could be more gentle and empathetic! Sure, Ikuto should probably accept he's human, but I feel like they're downplaying/invalidating his love for his digimon family/home a lot. DATS needs to hire a social worker/therapist lol (Falcomon probably had the better, gentler approach I guess).

Ikuto's dad's reaction to finding out his son is alive was interesting. It was more emotional than logical, but it felt real. Masaru's response was interesting too, calling him selfish even though he was trying to spare his wife's feelings. It's like...both perspectives are very understandable, but it's a damned if you do damned if you don't scenario which made for a raw scene.

Obscure connection only I would make (because I just watched this movie lol) but the monster generated from emotions and the robot motif were weirdly similar to the scifi film Forbidden Planet (1956). iykyk

In Yukidarumon's death scene I kinda wondered if they would just melt into a puddle lol. I know that would probably ruin the tragic tone.

I got excited to see Hagurumon. One of my faves <3 The fighting style it used (forming a big house-robot mecha) was new to me?

My Neighbor Yoshino

Ikuto begrudgingly saving his birth mom was a good choice writing-wise to bring them closer together.

Why did they act like SaberLeomon was some big reveal? I was like "yeah..and?" He did look cool though.

So I guess Merukimon isn't so bad after all? He didn't want to get involved in a war with the humans. Why were we even fighting with him again? lol (I guess they had to get past him to get to the gate)

[aleeyenn]

Hi i just wanted to say I love your works and profile sm, I love how you represent fireafy and coinpin and each of their respective characters, and I especially love how you represent Coiny. I feel like from what I've seen people don't see how Coiny really is, they usually just reduce him to a jerk or a firey slapper. But he's so much more and so different from that lke in canon he's so driven and serious but then fun and chill when needed, and how he can be fun and silly but then empathetic and sweet when given. and I feel like the way you represent him is so accurate and takes evey aspect of him in canon as well as headcanons that just FIT HIM SO WELL and idk it just makes me so happy. I also LOVE your headcanon of him being able to pull both masculinity and femininity, I love it so much it emulates the essence of him so well so be so comfortable in himself and not have a shred of toxic masculinity or anything like that. And I love how you make him adore pin like YES HE ADORE AND LOVES and does whatever pin wants it just makes me so happy esp with how gorgeous she is and as someone who is also plus sized and having issues with self image seeing coiny adore pin like that makes me believe in myself more idk how to explain it but YEA hahah just really like how you depict his charcater as a whole

I also love all your designs for every character

But ye I just want to say that hahah

i saw this when it was sent yesterday and i was in school and i was SOOO HAPPY i was telling all my friends with tears in my eyes and squealing over how sweet of a message i received LIKE I HAD TO FORCE MYSELF NOT TO CRY AND I KEPT GETTING UP AND PACING AAHH😭😭😭 i have waited for when i have free time where i’m not super tired to respond better than i would tired But! THANK YOU SOSOSOSO MUCH!!! YOU HAVE NO IDEA HOW MUCH THIS MEANS TO ME!!! YOU REALLY DONT!!! thank you thank you so much!!! i’ve been struggling with forming my thoughts and feelings into words recently so forgive me if this is a messy reply but AHH!!!

coiny is one of my favorite characters he’s sooOOO FUNNY AND CHARMING! i love expressing his silly side and how dumb he is sometimes so i do it in most of my work (because it’s lighthearted almost every time) and it makes me so happy to see him being so.. coiny! he is genuinely such an amazing character and the perfect balance of cool, kind, and idiotic(affectionately) he’s so nice and so compassionate and i appreciate that about him so much and I AM SO HAPPY THAT YOU CAN ENJOY MY PORTRAYAL OF HIM BECAUSE HE IS SO AWESOME! I LOVE EVERY PART OF HIM!!! and you like my headcanons!!! i forget what kind of coiny headcanons i have represented on this account but YESSS!!! COINY PULLING OFF FEMININE CLOTHES IS ONE OF MY FAVORITE THINGS TO THINK ABOUT! he is SO proud of it. he will put on a pink frilly dress and walk with confidence and feel as pretty as can be! i’ve been meaning to draw him in a dress for months actually (i have so much i want to draw all the time but i’m either really busy or i have zero motivation But this message gave me the motivation to actually try soon KEEP AN EYE OUT! maybe ill draw pin and coiny with their outfits swapped 🤫) he is one of the most positive and caring contestants on bfdi and he makes me so happy!!! he can wear both girly clothes and masculine clothes HE CAN WEAR WHATEVER HE WANTS and he will look TOTALLY AWESOME IN IT! and OMFGGG DONT EVEN GET ME STARTED ON HOW MUCH HE LOVES PINNN SHE IS HIS WHOLE WORLD AND COINY IS HERS AS WELL! coiny will do anything for her he loves her so bad… AND!!! AHHHH!!!! I AM SO SO SO INCREDIBLY HAPPY MY PIN HUMANIZATION MAKES YOU FEEL THAT WAY!!! BRINGING PEOPLE SELF-CONFIDENCE AND EMPOWERMENT THROUGH MY DESIGNS AND REPRESENTATION IS MY ABSOLUTE GOAL WITH WHAT I DO!!! it seriously means everything to me that i’ve Actually been able to achieve that and help people with how they feel about themselves indirectly. my eyes are watering while typing this ARGHH i really just want everyone to know how beautiful they are no matter what their size or weight or height or color or LITERALLY ANYTHING is. and as someone who also struggles with their self-image/esteem it means even More to me because i know how it feels!!! seeing yourself in a design of your favorite character or a character you enjoy in general feels SO GOOD so i strive to do that as much as i can. body diversity and diversity in all aspects is incredibly important to me and i want to sprinkle it everywhere in whatever i do!!! everyone is so beautiful and different and i think that is a blessing!!! whoever is reading this is beautiful and whoever in the WORLD is too just how they are now!!! EVERYONE IS GORGEOUS!!! it may take a while to feel it and that’s okay but just know that you are!!!

in short i am happy i was able to touch your heart and make you smile and give you at least a little bit more confidence in yourself. you are amazing and so kind for sharing this all with me!!! i think you can tell now how much this did for me by how much i wrote (SORRY ITS HUGE BLOCKS OF TEXT) and i can’t thank you enough for liking my work from characterization to design. every time i get a message like this i will not stop thinking about it and i hold it close to me every time i draw Like those other messages about my pin gijinka from months back I STILL GET SO EMOTIONAL OVER. i’m really glad i can make you feel that way and i hope i have made many others feel the same way too. THANK YOU!!!💖💖💖🫶🫶🫶

[atopearth]

Bakumatsu Renka Shinsengumi Part 10 - Kondo Isami Route & Overall Review

Honestly, I'm really interested in Kondo's route because I've never seen one before and I'm also curious about how they'll handle the fact that he has a wife. Personally, I don't have any issues with it because of the different time period and I sympathise with the fact that he was constantly in a life or death situation at war and couldn't be with his wife and child most of the time, and considering all the stress and responsibilities he had, I can understand the need for a supportive person in his life that was beside him. It's actually a bit difficult to watch how lively, caring and great of a teacher Kondo is towards Suzuka knowing how his life ends and how dejected he was. Anyway, back to now! It's pretty funny to see Suzuka keep wondering why Kondo is so respected when he's a womaniser to her haha. Kondo actually having a keen eye for fashion is kinda surprising but at the same time, he buys clothes for his wife so I guess it makes sense. I think their walk under the moonlight was pretty random even though I get it. There are times when you just want someone there with you even if they don't say anything, just having their presence and warmth is enough to make you feel alive.

We never really get to see Suzuka dance in a CG so I think it was nice that we got to see it here, and also see how enamoured Kondo was with her. I didn't expect Kondo to have a favourite tayu that he actually bought out of bondage too so it's interesting to see that he indeed did like women quite a bit! An awkward Kondo was definitely fun to see lol! For men who live by the sword, getting injured to the point that you can never wield it the same way again is basically a death sentence. It's heartbreaking honestly to watch Kondo suffer like that not being able to swing a sword the same way ever again especially when he taught people and guided people with the sword.

I didn't expect Suzuka to actually meet his wife but I think she's exactly as I expected. A very strong woman who is both great at taking care of a family but also protecting the house and dojo of Kondo's. She's smart but also empathetic. She understands that her husband is not only a free spirit but also a human that gets weak and the only solace he has is when he's beside a woman. She knows that she can't always be beside him so she accepts that other women will be in his life, not because she's totally okay with it, but because she acknowledges Kondo's weaknesses and his needs for respite in a world where his decisions affect the lives of people. I actually feel sorry for his wife, not because Kondo has fallen for Suzuka and she knows that they both like each other, but that more than anything else, she wishes that she could support Kondo and be beside him the way Suzuka can, but she can't because of her responsibilities and duties. It must be so painful for her to watch the man she loves fight but not be able to be by his side. It's also sad that she is so open because she also acknowledges to an extent that there's a high chance that Kondo will not be able to come back home to them so she wants him to have someone who can support him when she can't. She loves him so much that what she prioritises is his well-being rather than her own feelings. One of the most difficult things for a woman to bear would be acknowledging that even though you love him as much or even more than someone else but have to entrust your love and him to that person because what he needs isn't you. I feel so bad for his wife but at the same time, it's inevitable because everyone is just trying their best to live in a tumultuous era.

Personally, I'm not sure when Suzuka started to like Kondo, or to this extent anyway haha! But it did feel reassuring that they would have the support of each other in such tumultuous times even if he could never be her husband. Watching Kondo solemnly but seriously taking care of his sword that he can barely hold properly now hurts my heart. He's never lost his heart for it but he's physically incapable of wielding no matter how much he wants to hold it, and he's constantly reminded of this fact by the pain in his shoulder that requires painkillers to endure. It was so cute how their horse riding lesson changed from tranquility to disaster hahaha, it was pretty funny. LMAO at them imagining two Hijikatas with a sullen look telling Kondo off🤣🤣 True to her words and her promise to Kondo's wife, Suzuka stayed with Kondo until the end. I loved how she got to Kondo at the execution grounds and fought as much as they could and then died together by getting to choose to end their own life instead of being beheaded. Obviously, this would be a dream come true scenario, but I think I'm okay with it. We don't always need the cruel reality all the time haha. Just seeing Suzuka do her best to go to the person she loves just to die alongside him makes me happy. It's sad that Kondo's wife never got to see him again but..cruel as it is, she was prepared for this outcome. Having Hijikata think about his memories with Kondo and their dreams that sustain him to carry on fighting even when most of them are gone or dead really hurts to watch, but thinking that Kondo and Suzuka could be happy in death makes me feel a bit happier.

Overall, I don't feel like Kondo and Suzuka had enough moments for me to think that they fell in love with each other because it felt really random tbh. But I surprisingly enjoyed the meeting with Kondo's wife, mainly because she was exactly what I expected and her reasons for accepting Suzuka were basically how I would find it within myself to accept my husband (if I had one) having another woman in his life. I thought it felt realistic for the era they lived in and the times they were forced to endure away from their families due to war and I liked that. I also really liked that even though it felt a bit unrealistic for Suzuka to be able to get through all the guards to the execution grounds with Kondo, I still liked it because knowing that Kondo gets a "happier" ending here made me happy for him, and it made me happy for Suzuka that she could live up to her promise to him and to his wife that she will stay beside him until the end.

Overall Review

All in all, I have to say that despite the game having some pretty good ideas, it definitely was way too repetitive with not enough specific scenes for each LI. It definitely made me feel like after I did a few routes, most of it was just skipping and then I get a few chapters of actual content with the guy, and it doesn't help that some of these scenes lack in depth and makes it feel pointless and random at times because Suzuka randomly falls in love and then the war ends and we're either happy or dead lol. I kinda wished there were more specific events for each LI and feel like despite the story being repetitive, I quite enjoyed the characters. Personally, my most favourite to least favourite routes were Yamanami, Okita, Heisuke, Saitani, Saito, Kondo, Hijikata, Nagakura, Harada and then Yamazaki probably. Honestly, I'd say the ones that impacted me the most were Yamanami and Okita's because I really enjoyed seeing things outside of the war (since it was so repetitive lol) and I liked how they handled Yamanami's dilemma as well Okita's sickness. I would definitely recommend those routes. Heisuke and Saitani probably had the best relationship with Suzuka in terms of romance and connection as well as communication, but I think Nagakura and Harada especially made it feel like the relationship was pretty fun haha. Hijikata and Kondo's routes were a bit bland but I think they showed one aspect well which was the former's long journey by himself carrying the wills of the dead, and the latter's wife's dealings with another woman. Oh and Saito was okay haha, he was cool but not memorable. Yamazaki was the least appealing for me because I guess I just wasn't really into him since he felt more like a girl friend haha. I think I would give the game a 6.5/10 because it was good with some things but honestly probably not worth the time, it did help when I wanted to scroll through Reddit but also play a game though lol!

[alarrytale]

Hey, I know you’re not really into talking about their families, but I wanted to ask your opinion about Anne. Totally fine if you don’t want to answer.

I remember you once said Harry was raised well, and I agree—his sensitivity and shyness in certain settings probably come a lot from Anne. But then he left home at 16, and most of his teenage and adult life has been away from her. So I feel like other aspects of his personality, like his rebellious and petty side are things he learned on his own, not necessarily from Anne.

Anyway, my point is, Anne does seem like a very empathetic and sensitive person to me, but also maybe a little naive? People said she was actively supporting Isr*el during the conflict, and that really surprised me because I’d assume she, like Harry, would be against anything that violates human rights, including violence.

I don’t know if Harry tells her everything in detail, but I feel like she’s probably aware that his work environment is very connected to the Jewish community, so maybe she feels some sort of compassion there. Some people even said Harry was behind those posts, but I really doubt that.

Others started comparing it to how Louis’ sisters openly supported Palestine.

To me, Anne comes across as genuinely kind but maybe a bit naive sometimes. Harry, on the other hand, seems naturally kind and sensitive too, but with a more critical eye. I think the industry he grew up in, and the many people he’s met (not just the ones we see), have given him more perspective.

And while I’m writing this, another question popped up. A lot of people criticize Harry’s political views. They say he’s pro-Brexit, that his distance from Zayn was because of the Palestine conflict, and that he doesn’t really have political opinions. But don’t you think that’s a very one-dimensional way of seeing him?

I personally believe both H and L are pretty smart, even if they didn’t have a “formal” education. I know they’re super limited in what they can actually say, but whenever I hear them talk about other topics, I don’t get a shallow vibe at all. They come across as emotionally intelligent, authentic, and thoughtful.

Thanks!

Hi, anon!

I don't know if you want me to address some of your assumptions or views here, or if you just wanted to give your opinion.

I think it's very hard to make educated guesses on either of Harry’s and Anne's personalities and social and political views, especially on things they haven't addressed. Considering they're expressing themselves so publicly, appearing politically correct and showing their best sides, is a factor in this as well.

I do think that Harry was raised well by both Anne and Des. They seem like sound and good people. Even though Anne is kind and loving, i don't think she's neccessary that naive. I think she's conflict shy and privileged, and doesn’t want to hurt anyone by her opinions and beliefs. She probably doesn’t think the Is*ael/Pales*ine conflict is anything to make enemies with her friends over. That doesn’t mean she's not up to date and know what the conflict is about. Always taking the neutral position in conflicts or suppressing your own views and beliefs to keep the peace, is fine and all until you find yourself in more black and white situations where staying neutral (or saying they're both bad/wrong/equally to blame) is as good as picking a side (supporting the wrong side).

Also, even though Anne has some characteristics and personality traits, doesn’t mean H has to have the same ones. They're very different people, even though Anne raised H. He's from another generation, raised in a different time and he's an aquarius. We also know Harry better than Anne, so she might be petty and rebellious as well. Or he got that part from his father, who we know even less about.

I do think that Harry has learned a lot by being in the industry and even though he might be jaded or weary now, he still manages to be kind and take time for others. I don't think H is naive in the sense that he's easy to take advantage of or manipulate. I think H is well aware when it happens, but he allows it if he's gaining something from it himself.

When it comes to H's political views he's said he supports Labour, he leans left and is "for the people".

I can't imagine he's pro-Brexit, considering he's left leaning, but also when you saw the hassle that caused for british touring artists (and when we know Louis probably isn't pro-Brexit, due to this;).

I don't think there ever was a Pale*tine conflict between H and Z. I think that stems from H being close to many jewish people and interested in their culture and religion due to being influenced by them, and people beliveing Z would have a problem with that. So yes, i think not only is it a very one-dimentional way of seeing things, but also just plain wrong. I don't think H is apolitical, but i get the sense, like i do with Anne, that he doesn’t let political differences ruin friendships and relationship. I hope he's not shy in expressing his own social and political views due to that, but i don't know. Maybe he's careful in doing so in order to keep his blank slate image and keep everyone; fans, friends, bosses and investors happy.

I think both H and L's beliefs, values and social and political views are left-leaning, and they often seem educated on issues and able to reflect and consider different views. I do think they're both emotionally intelligent, and they're smart in some ways, but at the same time it is apparent to me that they don't have higher education. I do get the sense that especially H, is acting privileged, and sometimes struggle to see his own privilege, and that shows a lack of self-reflection in the context of social and societal power systems and the patriarchy.

They're both human though, and will make mistakes, they will also learn as long as they live. I think they're overall good people though

[greatwyrmgold]

How Assorted Characters I Like would Handle the Gnosia Ship

(For each character, I assume they are the only non-canon character on the D.Q.O.)

Ai Hoshino (Oshi no Ko)

Top-tier Performance, of course, but other starts are mediocre to bad. Everyone is predisposed to assume she's lying, so she tends to get voted for Cold Sleep if anyone Doubts her. She's like a mirror-image Raqio.

Despite that, Raqio cannot stand Ai. SQ sees her as either a kindred spirit or a rival, depending on how the first couple days shake out. Ai is way too tolerant of Sha-Ming.

As crew, she tries to identify a "smarter" character she can trust and sticks with them, defending them and suspecting who they suspect and so forth. Hopefully she didn't pick one of the Gnosia...

As Gnosia/Bug, Ai tends to go with the flow. She doesn't claim roles, chimes in when others Doubt instead of directly attacking people, and votes against whoever other people seem suspicious of—unless that person is a fellow Gnosia. Ai doesn't intentionally throw people under the bus, even when she probably should.

When picking targets, she goes for whoever seems like the biggest threat, even if killing them implicates herself or one of the her allies.

You probably get one of her Notes when the Gnosia win while she's AC Follower. One of the bleak ones, about how she feels like she's never loved and wants to feel love. It doesn't end well for her.

Asa Mitaka (Chainsaw Man)

Hey, you know how [spoiler1]'s body is taken over by [spoiler2] when "[spoiler1]" is Gnosia? It would be cool to have something like that for Asa and Yoru.

Terrible Charisma and Charm, but good Performance and Stealth. Not great at persuading people to take her side, but pretty good at staying out of the way.

Wants to get along with Remnan, but he's scared of her (regardless of whether she's human or not). Joins Setsu in the "sometimes kills Sha-Ming before the round starts" club.

As crew, she keeps her head down unless provoked. Consistently responds to Doubt with Refute, regardless of her current Hate, and if repeatedly Doubted, she'll start lashing out Doubts of her own. Hence, she's a common target of Shut Up and often ends up in Cold Sleep.

As enemy, she rarely false-claims roles. As Gnosia, she's smart enough to avoid targeting anyone whose death would prove her Gnosia status (ie, the real Doctor if she ends up as a fake), but impulsive enough to target people who Doubt her (even though that's kinda incriminating).

There's probably an event that can trigger if an enemy Asa is sent to cold sleep, where she tries to go on a rampage but is subdued before she can kill more than one other person. Maybe two—one ally to make a sword, one enemy who gets stabbed.

Charleton | C | Invidia Bat | Chiroptera | Angelic Saint Humanitas | Chiro Brandt (A Little Vice)

Yes, it was necessary to list every one of her aliases and discarded names.

...on second thought, her behavior changes a lot depending on what point in her character arc she gets stuck in a spaceship. Pretty much all of these characters go through some kind of character arc, but it's easier to imagine a "default blorbo" state for them. Chiro just keeps changing, and the start, nadir, and conclusion of her arc are all pretty different.

Early on (in her character arc, not in the time loop), good Intuition and Stealth, but bad Charm, Performance, and self-preservation instincts. In the middle, she has good Stealth and Performance, decent Intuition, bad Charisma, and even worse self-preservation instincts. By the end...good Intuition, Charisma, and Charm, but bad Stealth. (She's come out of her shell! Hooray! But the Gnosia are probably gonna kill her.)

Early-arc C is pitiable more than likeable. Certain characters who like Remnan might like C because "he" reminds them of him. Empathetic characters will feel bad picking on "him". In the middle, Invidia is more confident, but less honest. She's putting on an act, and that rubs more intuitive characters (like Comet or Otome) the wrong way. And the stench of Envy puts Yuriko on edge. By the end, Chiro is still kinda pitiable. But she doesn't remind anyone of Remnan; she's not so reclusive, she's less quiet, she doesn't boymode in hoodies.

Wherever Chiro is in her character arc, she's more likely to Cover a friend than argue against someone she suspects (or wants others to suspect).

Uniquely, she can use the Definite Human skill but not Definite Enemy. (Because in the source material, Chiro easily identified the magical girls at his school are, but not the magical girl villains, even though two of them tried to recruit her.)

As Gnosia (or AC Follower), Chiro has a distinct tendency to throw herself under the bus to protect her teammates. Sometimes when it's not necessary. Sometimes when it's not even particularly helpful. This tendency is gone by the time she finishes her character arc. Hurray!

If C is early in her character arc, there would definitely be an event where she talks about gender with Setsu and Raqio. It starts with C making sure she's got their pronouns right and ends with Raqio furious at this oblivious egg for not listening to them.

No matter what, nobody believes Chiro when she says her friends are magical girls. This is especially true if she's at a stage where she can use magic powers, and even moreso if there are supervillains or devils or magicians or whatever running around. Everyone thinks magical girls are too ridiculous to be real, even when they see a magical girl transformation.

Denji | Chainsaw Man (Chainsaw Man)

I've been staring at the list of stats for like two minutes and I don't think Denji would be good at any of that. (Definitely not in part 1.) He's bad at getting people to like or agree with him. He's bad at figuring out when he's being played. He's bad at brainthinking. He's not likeable. He's bad at lying. He's not subtle.

I don't want to say Denji is unlikable, but...a bunch of strangers who got stuck in a tin can would not like him. His friendship is an acquired taste.

Yuriko in particular would loathe Denji. Not that Yuriko likes anyone, but she seems to know a lot about weird shit even beyond the purview of her Hoshibune training, so she'd probably recognize Denji as a thing that should not exist. A form of being whose name has been forgotten by the universe itself, which would have been erased from existence if any of them could die.

Denji votes emotionally. If someone insults him, he'll vote them out. If someone's consistently nice to him, he'll believe them. If he's Gnosia, he might kill anyone who angered him. He's like Kukrushka, if she was bad at noticing lies and no one liked her.

There's definitely an event where the Gnosia try to kill him and he transforms. This probably ends with a dead Gnosia, no proof that they were Gnosia, and Denji in cold sleep. Not sure how this interacts with the Warp time-stop field where the Gnosia actually kill people...

Lisa Wilbourn | Sarah Livsey | Tattletale (Parahumans series)

Thanks to her parahuman ability, Lisa's Intuition is as high as Comet's and her Logic is a step below Raqio and Otome. Charisma and Performance are both good, and her Charm isn't bad; her only real weakness is Stealth, which is also comparable to Raqio or Comet. Lisa is a bit of a glass cannon—dangerous, but prone to pissing people off.

Lisa tends to pick the most pathetic, self-destructive character on the ship and try to protect them. If all canon characters are on board, that's probably Remnan. She also has a tendency to pick fights with other high-Logic characters. Raqio in particular—both Raqio and Lisa need to be the smartest person in the room, which doesn't work very well when they have to share a room.

As crew, Lisa isn't quick to accuse until she thinks she has identified an enemy. She automatically assumes anyone with a pattern of defending someone she thinks is an enemy is also an enemy. She's stubborn with her hunches; even if evidence that her suspect is human starts piling up, she'll stick to her guns, unless it was her that found that evidence. Or unless Raqio labels them Definite Human. She'd have to just eat crow at that point.

As an enemy role, Lisa will pick someone she doesn't like and try to implicate them as gnosia until they either get stuck in cold sleep or get reliable proof of their humanity. In the latter case, a gnosia Lisa will kill them at the first opportunity; regardless, she'll pick a new target, probably focused on remaining threats.

If Lisa wins as Bug, she'll reminisce about all the people she's failed to save, and how she'll never make that kind of mistake again. It's a rare moment of vulnerability, one she only allows herself because she assumes no one will remember anyway.

Maomao (The Apothecary Diaries)

Great Logic/Intuition and above-average Stealth, but low Charm and average Charisma/Performance. Maomao is good at identifying liars and finding logical contradictions, but she's not good at making accusations (except via her Definite Enemy skill).

Maomao gets along with Renman, but is suspicious of Raqio (haughty aristocrat vibes) and Kukrushka (suspicious). Probably also Yuriko, for the same reasons, but maybe Yuriko could tempt Maomao with her seemingly endless well of secrets? Raqio considers Maomao to be one of the few people worthy of respect on this ship, to her consternation.

As crew, she tends to stay quiet, speaking only when prompted (or when she worries she's been suspiciously quiet). As Doctor/Engineer, she will tend to step forward without prompting, then present her results without further commentary, unless she has a Definite Human/Enemy deduction to make.

As enemy, she tends to claim a role without prompting, then present her faked results without further commentary. As Gnosia, she tends to be strategic in her choice of targets; rather than killing direct threats, she kills people whose deaths might frame the threat. Her most obvious tell is not using her Definite Human/Enemy skills.

If a Gnosia/Bug Maomao wins a round, she will announce her victory calmly, perhaps apologetically.

Taylor Hebert | Skitter | Weaver (Worm)

Good Logic and Stealth, bad Charisma, terrible Charm. Taylor knows she's an easy target, so she tries to avoid being targeted. Her Intuition increases dramatically over time (kinda like Gina, but less so), as does her Performance.

If Taylor gets along with any canon character, it's Gina. If there's any canon character she can't stand, it's Sha-Ming.

As crew, Taylor tries to avoid notice. This changes once she identifies a likely enemy, at which point she will get aggressive. Depending on that loop's context and cast, this might get her killed or cold-slept...or it might make people pay attention to a formerly-covert gnosia before it's too late.

As enemy, Taylor tries to avoid notice. She might falsely claim a role, or she might just sit back and respond to others' accusations.

As gnosia, her murder preferences change over time. In the early days of the loop, her first priority is not to kill anyone that could implicate her (or another gnosia). Once all targets are either potentially-implicating, in cold sleep, or dead, she starts going for dangerous opponents. She doesn't worry about whether her kills will mark her as Definite Enemy (e.g. killing the other Engineer if she claimed Engineer), but she does worry about her allies getting marked as such.

If encountered in a night scene, Taylor might gripe about how her current situation renders her powers almost useless for gathering information. The warp-induced time stop Gnosia use to kill people and communicate...the lack of physical evidence for any violence...the near-total lack of insects on the D.Q.O...

If Taylor wins as Bug, she notes the irony of an insect-controlling supervillain becoming the Bug.

Zorian Kazinski (Mother of Learning)

Most stats are similar to Remnan's, but with less Stealth and more Logic. His Intuition starts low and ends high, like Gina's, except that his high Intuition comes from mind magic.

His interest in magical engineering opens the way to a friendship with fellow recluse (affectionate) Remnan. He wouldn't get along with Comet, Sha-Ming, or Yuriko; the former reminds him of Kirielle (derogatory), the latter of Fortov (very derogatory), and I don't think Zorian would like agents of Space Church any better than agents of the religions he's familiar with.

I think Zorian would get along with Setsu. They have a lot in common, and I'm not just saying that because of the time loop. Though also, I am saying it because of the time loop. There is definitely an event where Zorian grows suspicious of Setsu knowing so much about him and figures out that they're going through a time loop.

Zorian tends to stay quiet and observe, aside from the occasional round of Say You're Human. He doesn't like to speak up without having some idea who to accuse or defend, and coasts through early days on his Stealth.

[oynonrings]

I’m interested in that essay about vlad jr and grief p2 actually because I’ve always thought that would’ve been much better but I hadn’t seen anyone else agree

(context) thank you anon and @lmaster37 for enabling my ranting. this is messy but HERE IS MY THINKPIECE ABOUT WHY IT SHOULD HAVE BEEN VLAD JR AND NOT BAD GRIEF AS APPLE BASKET GANG #4:

disclaimer: i actively dislike both vlads so i may not remember every detail about them correctly. feel free to correct me if i misrepresent or misremember canon! my memory is shit and this is all off the top of my head (and i VASTLY prefer p1), take all of this with a grain of salt

first reason: HE WOULDNT HAVE TO HAVE HIS AGE CHANGED, definitely not as much as grief did (in p1, vlad jr is 27 and artemy is 26. and grief is 49.) i like grief being older personally, but either way, its wild that they cut his age nearly in half to make him grow up with artemy when vlad jr is already that age?

narratively, vlad jr being friends with artemy (and rubin, who at the very least likes the kin enough to be isidors protégé) as kids is so compelling, and it wouldve made their contrast/status as foils even better. when the four of them are little kids, none of them are questioning the ethics of the olgimsky business because theyre just kids. and that can be where vlad jrs appreciation for the kins culture can begin, with child artemy pointing out the herbs they see and teaching him a couple of kin words from isidor, and maybe those memories of being kids running around in the steppe is how it becomes a lifelong soft spot for vlad jr.

and though big vlad has a working relationship with isidor and oyun, he wouldnt be thrilled with young vlads fascination with the kin and maybe he tries to nip it in the bud by attempting to stop vlad jr from spending so much time around them/in the steppe. but as they grow up to the rebellious tween/teen phase, vlad jr would prefer to hang out with his friends. but artemy and rubin start to bring up their objections to big vlads treatment of the kin, and you know, young vlad is a kid. thats his dad. so naturally hes defensive, and maybe lara is empathetic to him and tries to break up their arguments but she ultimately sides with rubin and artemy, leaving vlad jr feeling betrayed

so vlad jr has no one but his family to cry to, and he doesnt want to tell big vlad the details for obvious reasons. hes torn between his father (and his familys power, financial security, a comfy life) and his friends/his appreciation for the kin/his humanity. a rich privileged kid/teenager wouldnt care so much about workers rights as to forsake his inheritance and his family, WHICH IS AGAIN, ONE OF THE RULING FAMILIES OF THE TOWN AND ID ARGUE THE MOST POWERFUL OF THE THREE.

and eventually just before artemy leaves (~16 yrs old), an explosive argument about whos following whos fathers orders blindly (and who just wants his daddys power politically) splinters the friend group irreparably. big vlad is all young vlad has after the gang falls out, so his decision is made for him: the family business. but he feels guilt, bitterness, insecurity, he just wants to be liked → can easily turn into a fragile manchild who wants to be the Benevolent (White) Savior Of The Kin. but of course he cant possibly give up the profit margin, so hes more like his father than either of them think

especially if as adults rubin hates the kin (for impeding his work as a surgeon, etc) and vlad jr has an inflated self-satisfaction about "see, he never really cared about the kin at all. *I* am the real ally, not him." (side note: vlad jr would cry about getting cancelled on twitter)

all of this loneliness and bitterness over their friend group imploding and leaving him with no lifelines other than his father but also having fond memories of the kin culture would be a great backstory that pushes vlad jr further into capitalist loser hell with the pastiche of "but i loooove the kin" (while still locking them in the termitary), not to mention the implied alcoholism after his mothers death.

its SUCH a great conflict!!! its the kind of complicated character that is the standard for pathologic character writing!!! WHY WOULD THEY NOT DO THATTTTTT. you dont need to contort griefs character to fit this niche! the parallels with artemy following in isidors footsteps (and rubin attempting to as well) and vlad jr following in vlad srs would be even stronger imo. i rest my case.

(this got way longer than i intended, im never finishing that fic at this rate.)

[pupmkincake2000]

Hank Anderson

This wonderful post was originally written by @blue-blood-and-red as an answer on mine, and I honestly wanted to ask permission to post it separately, but unfortunately, tumblr says that this account no longer exists. However, I still took the liberty of posting this excellent analysis of Hank's personality once again, because it is worthy of attention.

Hank is a very caring and empathetic person, brought down by trauma and being overly aware of the bad elements of humanity. He also places a lot of value on relationships and emotional connections.

Despite saying he’d burn all androids if it were up to him, his immediate reaction when Connor tries to go over the fence to follow Kara and Alice across the highway is to both physically grab and stop him, and order him to stay. And if Connor asks him later why he did it, his first reason, so, the first instinct for him to say, is that Connor “could have been killed”. He also mentions not wanting to fill out paperwork for damaged equipment but that’s said almost as an afterthought. His main reason really was because Connor could have been killed, and the tone he says it in is really important too, I think. He says it with such a “duh!” tone, because of course he wouldn’t want his partner to get killed, what kind of a question is that? It’s such an obvious choice in Hank’s eyes (consider Hank’s reaction if Connor chooses to continue chasing Rupert rather than help/save Hank.)

The Eden Club chapter is a really important one to me when it comes to getting a look into Hank’s mind and opinions. If you wait and listen long enough while Hank is questioning Floyd Mills, when Floyd is talking about why people come to the club, Hank says something like (this probably isn’t word for word, I’m going off of memory)  “Yeah, the more I learn about people, the more I love my dog.” A bit of a jokey statement, but there’s a definite… bitterness to his tone. He doesn’t like this image of humanity that Floyd is talking about.

Later on in the chapter, in the staff area with all the deactivated androids, Hank has another very bitter moment where he complains that people no longer want relationships, they just want androids who will do everything for them. This isn’t even a cutscene, just a side thing, but this is a very important moment to me. This is where you can really start to think that Hank’s hatred of androids has actually been a hatred of humans, that he places on androids. It’s not the androids themselves Hank hates, it’s the effects their existence has had on humans (humanity’s problems are of course much more complicated than that but it’s still a specific point to this). Hank values relationships and connections so much and in his eyes, androids have supremely lowered the emotional connections between humans. Instead of putting in the effort to grow and nurture romantic relationships, humans are going to androids for pure sex, with no emotion.

Another moment in the staff area, Hank also says something about the androids there that’s really interesting to hear from someone who claims to hate androids. He says something like “They get used until they’re broken and then they get scrapped.” With that bitterness again. I don’t know if he even notices it at the moment, but that really sounds like he’s feeling something for the androids. Some part of him is already upset at this scenario, even before fully seeing them as people.

Onto the deviant Tracis now. I think this encounter is the one that really flips the switch in Hank. This is the definite turning point for him, where he really realizes that androids aren’t just soulless machines. And this actually ties into one of the previous moments in this chapter, when he complains about no one wanting relationships anymore. Hank is bitter and angry over humans not cultivating relationships. And now here’s two androids, displaying love, love he doesn’t see in humanity, but that’s obviously so important to him. Humanity has been a disappointment to Hank, and he’s blamed androids for it, but in this moment, androids become more of a… hopeful thing. Hank’s seeing love again, when he was despairing over the lack of it in the world.

Moving on to The Bridge chapter. Hank shows more empathy for the deviant Tracis here, saying they really seemed to be in love, they just wanted to be together. There’s also a moment that can happen here, if Connor talks about the shared aspect of emotional shock between deviants. Hank’s bitterness comes back and he says something like “Those girls at the Eden Club sure had reason to be upset.” Hank is really seeing androids as people now. And with that, comes the implications of places like the Eden Club. And he’s angry about it. I can see Hank’s sense of justice in this moment. This is something that is shown some other times too, how Hank’s sympathies are with people in need, or the “lower” people. This is the same character trait that makes him look the other way (or even participate some) in illegal activities as long as no one is getting hurt. Hank didn’t become a cop to enforce “law and order”, he became a cop to help people. People are more important to him than laws.

Moving off track some, to talk about a different type of love in Hank’s life. Hank says he used to come to Riverside Park a lot before… (Cole died.) Riverside Park has playground equipment. So we can put it together that Hank used to bring Cole there to play. Very often apparently. This makes me think of something else, when it comes to androids. A lot of people have androids to take care of their child(ren). Nothing is shown about Hank’s feelings on this but I can imagine him being unhappy about it. I can just imagine him frequently taking Cole to this park, feeling pride that he actually spends time with his son, he doesn’t just hand him off to an android.

There’s plenty of valid reasons for parents to have childcare androids, of course, but I can imagine Hank already being somewhat bitter about humanity and androids even before Cole died. And then imagine how this bitterness grew after the accident. I’m thinking of his line in Kamski’s house, when he says he’d have a few words he’d like to say to his creator (God). I’m just imagining Hank, seeing children and babies out and about with only an android watching over them, thinking, “All these people don’t even want to spend time with their kids, but they get to keep them, while fate took mine away.”

I’ve kind of been going scene by scene, but I can’t think of anything substantial in other scenes, that I haven’t already touched on. So here’s some ending tidbits.

Hank also has a lot of bitterness over the red ice epidemic and that’s also tied with how important things like family and empathy are to him. All around him, people would rather get high, have emotionless sex with androids, etc, instead of living. Instead of being with, caring for, and loving other people. Families and social bonds are being destroyed because of people relying too much on drugs and technology, and it already upset him before, but especially now that he’s lost Cole. He would give anything to have his family back and he’s surrounded by people who have what he no longer does, and they don’t even care, they just give it up for empty, meaningless highs. (And he knows he’s fallen into the same sort of trap, drinking away his pain, gaining his own addiction, but after losing Cole he just… stopped caring as much. Didn’t let himself care as much.)

And this is the very core to Hank, I think. And part of why he hated androids.  He hates falsities. He hates people being uncaring and apathetic. He hated androids because they were emotionless, fake. Things he found often enough in actual humans. Hank’s change of heart about androids makes perfect sense once you realize that connection. Hank hated androids because they couldn’t feel, couldn’t love. When he saw that they could, that changed his mind. Because those are the things that really matter to Hank. Love, empathy, compassion. Things that Hank actually has in abundance but they’re hidden under layers of bitterness and hostility. Layers he’s built because his love and empathy have only led to pain for him.

tl;dr Hank’s actually an extremely empathetic and caring person but has been beaten up by the apathy and lows of humanity he’s been surrounded with, and the death of his son.