#i just want to see the more empathetic human side of him so bad

[yourbustedkneecaps]

guys please where’s my extremely-traumatized-but-just-thinks-this-shit-is-normal philip/belos? where’s my philip who has abandonment issues? where’s my philip who doesn’t know he’s terrified of loving someone like caleb again until it happens? where’s my chronic pain philip who doesn’t know everyone else just,,, doesn’t hurt all the time? where’s my philip having nightmares about the most insignificant things over and over again because it’s a trigger for him? where’s my exhausted, overworked, sick philip who never lets anyone take care of him but himself because that’s too much like having caleb back? where’s my philip that sleeps in the dirt cuz that’s the only way he feels comfortable anymore? my philip who blanks out when he eats palismen or kills another golden guard cuz he never quite recovered from murdering his brother? philip who likes flowers and knows how to garden BI foods? who knows how to sew a little? who doodles in the margins of his personal papers? who was fascinated enough with magic that he made scrolls and the BI’s first ever internet? who came up with crow phones? who struggles killing living things but can poke at dead stuff all day without thinking of his misdeeds with that dagger?

where’s my philip with all the human shit part of him that helped sculpt history? where’s he at?

[kakiastro]

2024: The Year of the Dragon

Well, we made yall! This was a 7 ruled year, ruled by the Moon, Neptune, and South Node. This year had us all deep in our feelings. So many people had their first spiritual awakening, others psychic gifts has strengthened. This year was teaching us on how to listen to our intuition. If you’re a creative, then this year was really the year ideas and projects came to you. With the moon here, so many people started their own families, so many woman in my personal life had babies this year lol. Our family dynamics changed, our homes may have changed. Lots of early life/past lives issues smacked us in the face this year, a lot of people started their healing journey.

This year is an 8 ruled year.

8 rules over the spiritual and materialistic world. 8 is balance, it means you need to balance being in our world and the spiritual.

8 is also an infinity symbol, hence why is it’s a loop. What loops(patterns)have you been stuck in? This year will show you that and what loops you need to get out of

8 also have a deep love for humanity, so I personally expect more protest against wars, those who are really suffering in our world. There’s going to be a strong empathy pull. Make no mistake though, the number 8 also rules over authority, social status, ego, inner strength and wisdom. While there’s a lot of love, there’s going to lots of people having unchecked egos so be careful of that. Listening to others opinions(whether you agree or not) will be a collective lesson.

The number 8 is ruled by Saturn and Capricorn. This is a Saturnian year. So to my fellow Saturnians/Capricorn placements/10h, we are the first in line the classroom (earth) this year lol.

Saturn is in Pisces, so fellow Caps, and everyone really, I feel we are going to continue being in our feelings and will begin to open our hearts to others. Capricorn is a reserved sign, doesn’t really show outward emotions, they would rather cry in private or in the shower😅. Not this year LoL, this year is teaching us that it’s okay to not be okay, it’s okay to be open about it as well. We will meet people who will show us the magical side of life. Saturn is a realism and pessimistic sign, but Pisces is the sign of hope, magic and fantasy. Remember, Pisces is also co ruled by Jupiter which is currently in Taurus. What is success to you? Is this success to you because this is what you were taught or is this what you really want? These are the type of questions you will be asking yourself.

8 is the number for Karma as well. Karma isn’t what many people think it is lol. Karma isn’t just some revenge type of thing lol. Also, Karma isn’t always bad either so get that out your mindset as well. Bad things happen to good people all the time, you being a good person doesn’t exempt you of messed up situations. If anything, it’s to make you become more empathetic and self aware of the bad things. Karma can be good as well

The etymology of karma is from the Sanskrit meaning “Action, Effect, Fate”

Karma is what you do that will cause a ripple/effect that can change your fate.

Example:

1. You get into a relationship and everything is going great for a year. Then you discovered your partner cheated. Your hurt and say “karma will get him and I can’t wait to watch.”

2. Months go by and you see your cheater ex is in a new relationship, treating this new partner better than you. You start thinking “karmas not real because if it was, why are they living the good life?” Meanwhile, you’re still picking up the pieces to heal but you’re healing is the key word.

3. Little do you know, your ex had cheated on you with someone who’s only using them and they end up getting cheated on. It wasn’t because of you, know they created that ripple for themselves. They let there ego and lust dictate there actions. If they would’ve had any control, they would’ve known not to do this so the Universe/God let the domino fall. They may end struggling with their career, health, spiritually to teach them to grow and learn. Now will they? That’s up to them. Just because someone appears to be doing well from the outside doesn’t mean that they really are or going to be.

4. You’ve done your healing and now know what you want and the red flags to look out for. You end up in an actual healthy relationship. A friend of yours suspects her partner of cheating and asked for your advice. Because you went through this, you know the signs. Because of this, you helped her. See that domino effect lol

That was long but I hope that makes sense you all! I have a mercury Rx in my chart so my thoughts go everywhere lol.

One of the first biggest events of 2024 is that Pluto enters Aquarius

Dates: January 20th - September 1st

Then: it will go back in Capricorn for the last time in our lifetime in September 1- November 20th.

Finally: it will go into Aquarius November 20th, where it will stay unto 2043. Y’all this is a 20 year transit!! So many changes are about to happen

I’ve already made a post about this transit, you can read it here!

2024 is the year of the dragon, in the element Wood.

Dragons are seen as honorable, strength, success

Wood represents vitality and creativity

-this is good year to pursue your goals and if you’re consistent, you will achieve success.

Eclipses

First Lunar eclipse will be on March 25th.

It will be in the sign of Libra! Which is where South Node currently is as well. Relationships with our family and within our home will be highlighted. The house that Libra rules in your chart will tell you how this will

First Solar eclipse will be on April 8th

It will be in the sign of Aries with NN being in it. Setting new goals for yourself, starting something new in your life, be bold and brave.

2nd Lunar eclipse is in Pisces on September 17th. Hello feelings lol! Pisces will have us sit alone and think about our most hidden thoughts and they will be highlighted. This is a good time for spiritual growth.

2nd Solar eclipse is in Libra on October 2nd. Relationships will be the hot topic for 2024. I predict so many people are going to be breaking up, finding love, having new friendships, family relationships are going to be changing, collaborating with people, justice, fairness will all be themes

Mercury Retrogrades will be in fire signs this year

First Mercury Rx is in Aries on April 1st-25th. Thinking and planning your goals, making sure everything is in order.

2nd Rx is August 4th-28th in the sign of Virgo and Leo. It’s giving say it with your chest energy but not too much lol. Be brave with your thoughts but try to think rationally as well.

3rd Rx is November 25th in Sagittarius. Time for us to reflect on our ideals that we’ve learned. Look at different philosophies point of view

Another big Astrological event is the Jupiter-Uranus in Taurus conjunction on April 20th.

Jupiter is the planet if expansion, higher learning, traveling and religion

Uranus is the planet of change, science of medicine, innovation and rebellion.

Taurus is the 2nd sign of the zodiac and it rules over our finances, self worth, our possessions, food, beauty, nature such as forest and trees.

What do I predict with this transit:

-huge breakthroughs with regarding medicines and innovative discoveries

-something dealing with travel or immigration

-I suspect some type if change regarding the church or how people view the church (pastors, priest etc)

-something dealing with our food and us being more aware about our own dietary choices. What’s not good for us and what goes in our food basically

On May 25th, Jupiter leaves Taurus and enters airy sign Gemini. It will be in Gemini until 2025

The best way to describe this transit is communication!!! Remember Jupiter expands everything so we will be more open about our thoughts and standing on business on what we say! I feel there’s going to be a huge influx on the dire need to want to go back to school and learn new things. Big cars are going to the thing everyone will want to have! If you’re a writer, this can be a good year to write that book and get it published, all the way up until 2025 at least.

Mars Go Rx December 6th- February 23rd 2025, in the sign of Cancer and Leo!

This is poignant because Mars only go retrograde every 2 years! The last Rx was 2021-2022 ish and it was in Gemini

With it switching from water and fire, emotions will be be high. Really check your emotions during this time, this can be a good time to sort your home out, being motivated to start something like a creative outlet.

As you all can see, this is going to be an eventful year but I’m wishing you all happy and memorable one! To those who’ve been following me this year, I just want to say thank you! thank you! thank you!

With love and gratitude

-kaki

[ragingtabbycat]

Some allo people have no empathy for what the aroace experience is actually like

Someone just texted me “being aroace seems like a pretty good deal” after putting me in a position where I had to reject him for the third time. After being out to him about being aroace for years.

Do you think it feels good to have to reject people? I know being rejected sucks and being in a position where fundamentally you will be rejected sucks. Doing the rejecting also sucks. It fucking sucks when the person in question knows it’s a hopeless pursuit, when they know it could never happen. Thanks a lot for putting me in a position where I have to reject you again. Where I have to be empathetic and tactful because you are my friend and I like spending time with you. I’m sorry but at no point did you ever have any empathy for the position you put me in. I have to play the mediator, the balancer, I have to put everyone else’s emotions above my own. I don’t have this ‘vital’ human experience, I don’t have this specific complex bag of emotions that comes with romance; therefore I don’t have my own complex emotions about people and relationships. He doesn’t respect my identity. He thinks maybe if he confesses enough, I’ll want him back. He doesn’t get that I just am not like that. Stop giving me the emotional burden of the exchange. He lets everything out, and I have to do all the emotional labour. He did all this knowing the outcome and now we are both unhappy and uncomfortable. If he was even a little bit empathetic of me, he’d get that everyone else, also thinks this way. So many people think that they are the ‘one’ that I might just like. People put me in this position over and over again thinking that they are special that they are different. “Being aroace seems like a pretty good deal” only if you’ve just been rejected and feel bad about it.

The actual aroace experience of a complex balancing act of trying to build the relationships you want without leading people on. Keeping everyone at arm’s length lest they fall in love with you. That sinking dread knowing that someone is growing attracted to you and they are going to try something about it and it will make things awkward, it will fuck the friendship up at least for a little bit because they’ve moved into some ‘higher’ state of relationship and you haven’t. Knowing they want something that you just can’t give to them. I want deep friendships but everyone just sees them as a stepping stone to ‘something more’. Being ‘friendzoned’ is a bad thing. I have one genuine deep emotional friendship, that I trust completely, that there isn’t this fear that I am going to have to reject them at some point. I want a network of strong friendships, and I can’t have that, but you can’t have your romance with me either, so I guess we’re both miserable. It sucks being the designated empathy machine, it sucks having to reject people over and over again.

I constantly have this attitude, from multiple people, that being aroace is optimal, people think that the worse thing that could ever happen to someone is rejection and heartbreak. They don’t stop to think from my perspective, being rejected is a rare occurrence anyway, it only happens when you ask, when you take a step forward. This is my life, this is my existence. I have to do this every day. This isn’t even covering the social expectations that you defy just by being aroace. I’ve sorry, but if you think “Being aroace seems like a pretty good deal”, you have never even considered what it might be like from the other side. People have this attitude that being aroace is a lot more flexible than it actually is, at least in my experience.

Don’t get me wrong, I like being aroace, it is who I am. But attitudes like this make me want to scream. Cause being aroace doesn't suck, but how everyone treats you for being aroace certainly does.

[heikeee]

no but i need to scream into the void or i'll go mad. listen. kikyo wasn't a bitch. i don't think the way she was written did her any justice; it just makes her easy to hate. and don't get me wrong, this isn't about her relationship with inuyasha or kagome at all, i just want to talk about her as a character because she is one of the most complex of them and she needs to be looked at with more empathy.

i've said it before and i'll say it again: her whole thing is that she is tragedy personified. think about it. everything, and i mean every single thing that could have gone wrong in her life, HAS gone wrong. she had a difficult upbringing, having to raise her little sister and having to shoulder the burden of being the sole purifier of the shikon jewel (which constantly put her and her village under threat). she was never dealt an easy hand to begin with. then, she finds solace in love, tries her best to think of a way of unraveling herself from her duties to live a free life, while still caring for others selflessly: she took in onigumo, and he betrayed her. by pretending to be inuyasha, he had her think that her lover had betrayed her as well, and succumbed to wounds inflicted by him (or so she thought), while sealing him to the goshinboku.

the last wish she spoke of was to take the shikon jewel to the beyond with herself. later, kagome finds a way to actually destroy the jewel, which was what kikyo had intended to do but couldn't. in her heart, her last wish was to see inuyasha again. the jewel corrupts this wish and grants it in the most fucked up way possible.

her remains are robbed from her grave and she is brought back to life with NO agency on the matter, by someone who wanted only to exploit her powers. now, untethered from from her past duties, she is finally free to experience emotion. and that includes bad emotions. so anger, resentment, jealousy, contempt, loneliness, selfishness (and that's part of being human). every unfulfilled wish, the unfairness of it all. she spends the rest of the series navigating this undead existence, the duality of not belonging anywhere, constantly torn between doing what is right and what needs to be done to reach her goal, having no choice but to consume souls of recently departed girls to have the energy to fight her only fight (destroying naraku), all the while helping villagers and kids, and even the inugang, despite not wanting to align with their agenda at first. she contemplates sacrificing kohaku, yes, but ultimately her redemption is that she chose to save him instead of purifying the jewel in the end. she showed that she trusted the inugang to finish what she couldn't, and chose to spare another life, if possible (she says so herself in ch441)

it is very difficult to relate to someone that doesn't give access to her vulnerable side very often. her and sango are the two characters who had it the hardest and were forced to make the most difficult decisions out of everyone. but we love sango, even when she chose to sacrifice rin, even when she contemplated killing kohaku then herself, because we know where sango's heart lies and how torn she is about all of it. kikyo, on the other hand, is stoic and hardened by her life (and also post-life), but ultimately her biggest trait was kindness. we don't get to see her cry and be like woe is me about it, something that could've made us more empathetic towards her like we are with sango.

my point is kikyo deserves to be looked at through kinder eyes. she is a complex character, and she requires a bit more analysis and compassion to actually see who she really is. my tragic girl

[lurkingshan]

Once again I'm here because I'm angry. There's been a lot of talk about Boston and what Jojo wanted or not to say about sluts and whatever. I, and other people I think, were struggling with the idea that Jojo would actually want that message out. So I went to see some interviews. And got kinda shocked about one thing that he said. (btw this is an actual quote.) He was talking about Boston reasons for his behaviour Jojo: Bad people don't need to have a backstory. They are just born sluts. A bad character doesn't need... (and then the interviewer says - he doesn't need tragedy to be bad) Exactly. And then he gets asked if he thinks Boston needs redemption and he emphatically says NO. And then talking about how much fun is writing the character he says this: Boston is such a fun character to write. yeah unpredictable he's like, he doesn't care. he doesn't have morals so we just like goes with the flow. bad people? no morals? humm... i don't know... So yeah, now I don't really know what to think about it. I was wondering what are your thoughts about this. I'm still gonna watch some more of this, because I'm a masochist that needs all the information, but yeah, I thought I would share. Thanks for the space

Yiiiiiikes. Okay, first let me preface this by saying that whenever I am reading/watching something that was either translated to English or spoken in English by a person with a different first language, I try not to get too hung up on specific word choice. By necessity we tend to go for the simplest possible words to convey meaning in those situations, and thus a lot of nuance gets stripped out.

That said, the sentiment is clear: Jojo saw Boston as a villain character without a moral code that he could deploy to cause chaos wherever he liked in the story. And he is definitely conflating his villainy with sexual promiscuity, which is the worst part of this quote and unfortunately aligns with the way that finale, and ultimately the themes of the show, were written. It definitely makes me side eye Jojo and as I’ve already said, I won’t be so inclined to trust him nearly as much next time.

Only Friends, however, has more than one writer, and I don’t think they all see it this way. If you think Boston is purely an irredeemable slut, you don’t write his breakup and reunion with Nick in the way that this show did. You don’t give depth to his situation with Atom. You don’t show his sincere emotion, his hurt, and his earnest desire to be with Nick while he can. With all the info we have now and in retrospect, it kind of feels like there was a bit of a tug-o-war going on with Boston’s story.

My understanding is that Den Panuwat, one of three writers on the show, is the one who adapted the novel version of the story, and there he changed Boston’s final arc significantly. Rather than Boston fucking Atom, he made his final conflict about his dad’s political career with Boston’s sexuality being used as a weapon against him. He wrote Boston and Nick ending on good terms. And he wrote a final chapter for Boston where he arrives in New York, finds a more accepting society and queer community who accept and understand him, and thrives.

I’m sure there were some non-artistic reasons why we couldn’t get this version of the story in the show (the politics story was likely vetoed for censorship reasons and they probably couldn’t afford to show us Boston in NY, for example), but the fact that Den wrote it signals that his perspective on Boston is not fully aligned with what Jojo said in that quote above. Perhaps we have him to thank for the empathetic portrayal and humanity we did see in Boston despite Jojo’s perspective on him. And Den has another show coming soon, so maybe we’ll see a clearer read of his own perspective on queer sexual politics without the GMMTV restrictions when we watch Playboyy.

[beigepillow]

I honestly feel so bad for doumeki and how people disregard him, alot of people forget that D is also human, he feels pain, he gets angry, he feels joy and he also bleeds like a person but people just think his some kinda robot that isn't meant to feel any kind of emotion.

A perfect example of this is people's reaction to doumeki and how he is treating yashiro at this moment ( I love my boy yashiro and I understand why he did what he did) but that doesn't excuse his actions towards doumeki and doumeki has every right to be pissed with him, but people still feel that he doesn't have the right to be mad because he was the one following yashiro like a lost puppy and that he deserves what he got.

No one deserves to be treated like that, that was just so damn painful to watch and the fact that doumeki doesn't even hold that against him shows just how pure he is, he only ever gets upset when yashiro sleeps around partially because he gets jealous but mostly because he doesn't like the fact that yashiro sees himself as nothing but a sex doll, even now he's sleeping with him partially because of jealousy but mostly because he's protecting him....he loves yashiro so much that he's willing to sacrifice his own happiness just to always be with him to protect him, doumeki isn't as complex as people think he's a pretty simply guy he never does anything without a reason and his only reason for still because in the Yakuza world is because yashiro is in it, I just hope they sort themselves out and finally admit their love for each other because yashiro is at a breaking point and the next time they meet he may snap and not in a good way.

What do you think about this? Am I reading too much into this?

First, I want to reiterate that people can have whatever opinion they like. It is important to have diverse opinions in fandom to get all different kinds of perspective. That being said I do wish there were more Doumeki defenders out there but it is what it is. I have noticed an uptick in people who want to defend Doumeki based on the asks and comments I get and hopefully one day they’ll make posts themselves. I don’t see myself as a Doumeki expert or anything like that. i just try to see things from his pov in an empathetic light but I am sure I get things wrong since it is all a guessing game. I also do criticize Doumeki myself a bit. I don’t think it is his right to decide who Yashiro has sex with and I wish there was less dub con in the sexual emconuters he initiated but I also think at times I criticized him based on my real life morals instead of through a saezuru lens. But I also criticize Yashiro as well because no character is above criticism to me. What Yashiro did in volume 6 was wrong and he knows it was wrong. He purposely acted in that way so Doumeki would leave him so he was well aware that he was being an asshole to Doumeki even if he has an excuse for it. But I disagree that Doumeki follows him around like a puppy just to be by his side. In volume 6, he follows Yashiro around to keep him from committing suicide!!!! I feel like that is glossed over a lot for some reason and Doumeki is just reduced to only caring about being with Yashiro even to the detriment of Yashiro. I also am not a big fan of the take that he deserves whatever since he sticks around because as I have said before, the same can be said about Yashiro. Yashiro isn’t Doumeki’s hostage and like I mentioned is getting quite a bit of space from him and is still choosing Doumeki. I actually think Doumeki is a very complex character (as complex as Yashiro) and he does seem to harbor resentment towards Yashiro at times. But so what? Why do his negative emotions get demonized so much? Why is he not allowed to have his emotions cloud his judgement at times and get forgiven for it (of course based on what he does) just like Yashiro or really all of us in real life? At the end of the day, I hope to see more Doumeki centric posts but until then I am just going to enjoy the fandom. It is only a manga at the end of the day.

[otakween]

Digimon Data Squad (Savers) - Episode 20

Woohoo! I've reached the 20 episode mark :D only 28 to go. This is actually one of the shorter seasons which I can definitely get behind.

This episode was pretty emotional with a lot of pretty complex feelings for a kid's show tbh. I really appreciated that they didn't just make it a happy reunion, there's too much trauma on both sides. We even got a cliff hanger ending...

Notes:

I'm onto you Digimon Savers character designer. First you made Masaru's mom all young and pretty (and have Tohma have a crush on her) and now you draw Ikuto's mom...like that. 😏

I rest my case.

Was surprised to see that Ikuto has a sister (makes sense they'd want to fill the void). I hope we get to see them officially meet/interact

I don't really know how to feel about how Masaru treats Ikuto. Ikuto identifies as a digimon because of his upbringing and saw Yukidarumon as his mom. Masaru's way of handling things is basically just to scream at Ikuto that he's a human with a human mom. I just feel like he could be more gentle and empathetic! Sure, Ikuto should probably accept he's human, but I feel like they're downplaying/invalidating his love for his digimon family/home a lot. DATS needs to hire a social worker/therapist lol (Falcomon probably had the better, gentler approach I guess).

Ikuto's dad's reaction to finding out his son is alive was interesting. It was more emotional than logical, but it felt real. Masaru's response was interesting too, calling him selfish even though he was trying to spare his wife's feelings. It's like...both perspectives are very understandable, but it's a damned if you do damned if you don't scenario which made for a raw scene.

Obscure connection only I would make (because I just watched this movie lol) but the monster generated from emotions and the robot motif were weirdly similar to the scifi film Forbidden Planet (1956). iykyk

In Yukidarumon's death scene I kinda wondered if they would just melt into a puddle lol. I know that would probably ruin the tragic tone.

I got excited to see Hagurumon. One of my faves <3 The fighting style it used (forming a big house-robot mecha) was new to me?

My Neighbor Yoshino

Ikuto begrudgingly saving his birth mom was a good choice writing-wise to bring them closer together.

Why did they act like SaberLeomon was some big reveal? I was like "yeah..and?" He did look cool though.

So I guess Merukimon isn't so bad after all? He didn't want to get involved in a war with the humans. Why were we even fighting with him again? lol (I guess they had to get past him to get to the gate)

[aleeyenn]

Hi i just wanted to say I love your works and profile sm, I love how you represent fireafy and coinpin and each of their respective characters, and I especially love how you represent Coiny. I feel like from what I've seen people don't see how Coiny really is, they usually just reduce him to a jerk or a firey slapper. But he's so much more and so different from that lke in canon he's so driven and serious but then fun and chill when needed, and how he can be fun and silly but then empathetic and sweet when given. and I feel like the way you represent him is so accurate and takes evey aspect of him in canon as well as headcanons that just FIT HIM SO WELL and idk it just makes me so happy. I also LOVE your headcanon of him being able to pull both masculinity and femininity, I love it so much it emulates the essence of him so well so be so comfortable in himself and not have a shred of toxic masculinity or anything like that. And I love how you make him adore pin like YES HE ADORE AND LOVES and does whatever pin wants it just makes me so happy esp with how gorgeous she is and as someone who is also plus sized and having issues with self image seeing coiny adore pin like that makes me believe in myself more idk how to explain it but YEA hahah just really like how you depict his charcater as a whole

I also love all your designs for every character

But ye I just want to say that hahah

i saw this when it was sent yesterday and i was in school and i was SOOO HAPPY i was telling all my friends with tears in my eyes and squealing over how sweet of a message i received LIKE I HAD TO FORCE MYSELF NOT TO CRY AND I KEPT GETTING UP AND PACING AAHH😭😭😭 i have waited for when i have free time where i’m not super tired to respond better than i would tired But! THANK YOU SOSOSOSO MUCH!!! YOU HAVE NO IDEA HOW MUCH THIS MEANS TO ME!!! YOU REALLY DONT!!! thank you thank you so much!!! i’ve been struggling with forming my thoughts and feelings into words recently so forgive me if this is a messy reply but AHH!!!

coiny is one of my favorite characters he’s sooOOO FUNNY AND CHARMING! i love expressing his silly side and how dumb he is sometimes so i do it in most of my work (because it’s lighthearted almost every time) and it makes me so happy to see him being so.. coiny! he is genuinely such an amazing character and the perfect balance of cool, kind, and idiotic(affectionately) he’s so nice and so compassionate and i appreciate that about him so much and I AM SO HAPPY THAT YOU CAN ENJOY MY PORTRAYAL OF HIM BECAUSE HE IS SO AWESOME! I LOVE EVERY PART OF HIM!!! and you like my headcanons!!! i forget what kind of coiny headcanons i have represented on this account but YESSS!!! COINY PULLING OFF FEMININE CLOTHES IS ONE OF MY FAVORITE THINGS TO THINK ABOUT! he is SO proud of it. he will put on a pink frilly dress and walk with confidence and feel as pretty as can be! i’ve been meaning to draw him in a dress for months actually (i have so much i want to draw all the time but i’m either really busy or i have zero motivation But this message gave me the motivation to actually try soon KEEP AN EYE OUT! maybe ill draw pin and coiny with their outfits swapped 🤫) he is one of the most positive and caring contestants on bfdi and he makes me so happy!!! he can wear both girly clothes and masculine clothes HE CAN WEAR WHATEVER HE WANTS and he will look TOTALLY AWESOME IN IT! and OMFGGG DONT EVEN GET ME STARTED ON HOW MUCH HE LOVES PINNN SHE IS HIS WHOLE WORLD AND COINY IS HERS AS WELL! coiny will do anything for her he loves her so bad… AND!!! AHHHH!!!! I AM SO SO SO INCREDIBLY HAPPY MY PIN HUMANIZATION MAKES YOU FEEL THAT WAY!!! BRINGING PEOPLE SELF-CONFIDENCE AND EMPOWERMENT THROUGH MY DESIGNS AND REPRESENTATION IS MY ABSOLUTE GOAL WITH WHAT I DO!!! it seriously means everything to me that i’ve Actually been able to achieve that and help people with how they feel about themselves indirectly. my eyes are watering while typing this ARGHH i really just want everyone to know how beautiful they are no matter what their size or weight or height or color or LITERALLY ANYTHING is. and as someone who also struggles with their self-image/esteem it means even More to me because i know how it feels!!! seeing yourself in a design of your favorite character or a character you enjoy in general feels SO GOOD so i strive to do that as much as i can. body diversity and diversity in all aspects is incredibly important to me and i want to sprinkle it everywhere in whatever i do!!! everyone is so beautiful and different and i think that is a blessing!!! whoever is reading this is beautiful and whoever in the WORLD is too just how they are now!!! EVERYONE IS GORGEOUS!!! it may take a while to feel it and that’s okay but just know that you are!!!

in short i am happy i was able to touch your heart and make you smile and give you at least a little bit more confidence in yourself. you are amazing and so kind for sharing this all with me!!! i think you can tell now how much this did for me by how much i wrote (SORRY ITS HUGE BLOCKS OF TEXT) and i can’t thank you enough for liking my work from characterization to design. every time i get a message like this i will not stop thinking about it and i hold it close to me every time i draw Like those other messages about my pin gijinka from months back I STILL GET SO EMOTIONAL OVER. i’m really glad i can make you feel that way and i hope i have made many others feel the same way too. THANK YOU!!!💖💖💖🫶🫶🫶

[pupmkincake2000]

Hank Anderson

This wonderful post was originally written by @blue-blood-and-red as an answer on mine, and I honestly wanted to ask permission to post it separately, but unfortunately, tumblr says that this account no longer exists. However, I still took the liberty of posting this excellent analysis of Hank's personality once again, because it is worthy of attention.

Hank is a very caring and empathetic person, brought down by trauma and being overly aware of the bad elements of humanity. He also places a lot of value on relationships and emotional connections.

Despite saying he’d burn all androids if it were up to him, his immediate reaction when Connor tries to go over the fence to follow Kara and Alice across the highway is to both physically grab and stop him, and order him to stay. And if Connor asks him later why he did it, his first reason, so, the first instinct for him to say, is that Connor “could have been killed”. He also mentions not wanting to fill out paperwork for damaged equipment but that’s said almost as an afterthought. His main reason really was because Connor could have been killed, and the tone he says it in is really important too, I think. He says it with such a “duh!” tone, because of course he wouldn’t want his partner to get killed, what kind of a question is that? It’s such an obvious choice in Hank’s eyes (consider Hank’s reaction if Connor chooses to continue chasing Rupert rather than help/save Hank.)

The Eden Club chapter is a really important one to me when it comes to getting a look into Hank’s mind and opinions. If you wait and listen long enough while Hank is questioning Floyd Mills, when Floyd is talking about why people come to the club, Hank says something like (this probably isn’t word for word, I’m going off of memory)  “Yeah, the more I learn about people, the more I love my dog.” A bit of a jokey statement, but there’s a definite… bitterness to his tone. He doesn’t like this image of humanity that Floyd is talking about.

Later on in the chapter, in the staff area with all the deactivated androids, Hank has another very bitter moment where he complains that people no longer want relationships, they just want androids who will do everything for them. This isn’t even a cutscene, just a side thing, but this is a very important moment to me. This is where you can really start to think that Hank’s hatred of androids has actually been a hatred of humans, that he places on androids. It’s not the androids themselves Hank hates, it’s the effects their existence has had on humans (humanity’s problems are of course much more complicated than that but it’s still a specific point to this). Hank values relationships and connections so much and in his eyes, androids have supremely lowered the emotional connections between humans. Instead of putting in the effort to grow and nurture romantic relationships, humans are going to androids for pure sex, with no emotion.

Another moment in the staff area, Hank also says something about the androids there that’s really interesting to hear from someone who claims to hate androids. He says something like “They get used until they’re broken and then they get scrapped.” With that bitterness again. I don’t know if he even notices it at the moment, but that really sounds like he’s feeling something for the androids. Some part of him is already upset at this scenario, even before fully seeing them as people.

Onto the deviant Tracis now. I think this encounter is the one that really flips the switch in Hank. This is the definite turning point for him, where he really realizes that androids aren’t just soulless machines. And this actually ties into one of the previous moments in this chapter, when he complains about no one wanting relationships anymore. Hank is bitter and angry over humans not cultivating relationships. And now here’s two androids, displaying love, love he doesn’t see in humanity, but that’s obviously so important to him. Humanity has been a disappointment to Hank, and he’s blamed androids for it, but in this moment, androids become more of a… hopeful thing. Hank’s seeing love again, when he was despairing over the lack of it in the world.

Moving on to The Bridge chapter. Hank shows more empathy for the deviant Tracis here, saying they really seemed to be in love, they just wanted to be together. There’s also a moment that can happen here, if Connor talks about the shared aspect of emotional shock between deviants. Hank’s bitterness comes back and he says something like “Those girls at the Eden Club sure had reason to be upset.” Hank is really seeing androids as people now. And with that, comes the implications of places like the Eden Club. And he’s angry about it. I can see Hank’s sense of justice in this moment. This is something that is shown some other times too, how Hank’s sympathies are with people in need, or the “lower” people. This is the same character trait that makes him look the other way (or even participate some) in illegal activities as long as no one is getting hurt. Hank didn’t become a cop to enforce “law and order”, he became a cop to help people. People are more important to him than laws.

Moving off track some, to talk about a different type of love in Hank’s life. Hank says he used to come to Riverside Park a lot before… (Cole died.) Riverside Park has playground equipment. So we can put it together that Hank used to bring Cole there to play. Very often apparently. This makes me think of something else, when it comes to androids. A lot of people have androids to take care of their child(ren). Nothing is shown about Hank’s feelings on this but I can imagine him being unhappy about it. I can just imagine him frequently taking Cole to this park, feeling pride that he actually spends time with his son, he doesn’t just hand him off to an android.

There’s plenty of valid reasons for parents to have childcare androids, of course, but I can imagine Hank already being somewhat bitter about humanity and androids even before Cole died. And then imagine how this bitterness grew after the accident. I’m thinking of his line in Kamski’s house, when he says he’d have a few words he’d like to say to his creator (God). I’m just imagining Hank, seeing children and babies out and about with only an android watching over them, thinking, “All these people don’t even want to spend time with their kids, but they get to keep them, while fate took mine away.”

I’ve kind of been going scene by scene, but I can’t think of anything substantial in other scenes, that I haven’t already touched on. So here’s some ending tidbits.

Hank also has a lot of bitterness over the red ice epidemic and that’s also tied with how important things like family and empathy are to him. All around him, people would rather get high, have emotionless sex with androids, etc, instead of living. Instead of being with, caring for, and loving other people. Families and social bonds are being destroyed because of people relying too much on drugs and technology, and it already upset him before, but especially now that he’s lost Cole. He would give anything to have his family back and he’s surrounded by people who have what he no longer does, and they don’t even care, they just give it up for empty, meaningless highs. (And he knows he’s fallen into the same sort of trap, drinking away his pain, gaining his own addiction, but after losing Cole he just… stopped caring as much. Didn’t let himself care as much.)

And this is the very core to Hank, I think. And part of why he hated androids.  He hates falsities. He hates people being uncaring and apathetic. He hated androids because they were emotionless, fake. Things he found often enough in actual humans. Hank’s change of heart about androids makes perfect sense once you realize that connection. Hank hated androids because they couldn’t feel, couldn’t love. When he saw that they could, that changed his mind. Because those are the things that really matter to Hank. Love, empathy, compassion. Things that Hank actually has in abundance but they’re hidden under layers of bitterness and hostility. Layers he’s built because his love and empathy have only led to pain for him.

tl;dr Hank’s actually an extremely empathetic and caring person but has been beaten up by the apathy and lows of humanity he’s been surrounded with, and the death of his son.

[potatowithahat]

Letters to a Lover

A Bg3 fic

Astarion,

Astarion please, I beg of you, just give him a chance. I know you have your preconceived notions about him... but I… I really think the three of us could work.  More then work, even.  I think the three of us could flourish. Dare I say thrive even? Please Astarion, for me. Just give him a chance.  I know your heart is big enough,  and I've seen the ways you look at him when you think I'm not looking. He's so, so kind. You know he's been hurt.  I feel that if you let him in you'd find your quite empathetic with his.. aliment. His curse is not that unlike yours,  forcing both of you to consume something not so savoiry. Please,  just consider it. I would forever be in your debts

    Your love, Vesa

Dearest Vesa,

My dear, you must be out of your head.  Maybe that tadpole is finally taking over.  I am nothing like that power-hungry fool. I didn't choose my life, while he actively sought it out. There is nothing we have in common, except maybe our fondness for you. You could seldom find a soul in this camp who doesn't share that same belief though.  I must ask you, why him? Out of all our companions, Gale? He's your choice for our third? Why not Wyll? I know you have your reasons,  but certainly, another warlock may suit our situation better than some stuffy wizard. Honestly love, why him? He looks as if he's never seen a bath, and that hair is greasier than a boar. I.. I just don't see what it is about him you find so... arousing. I mean, that whole 'Gale of Waterdeep' bit. It doesn't make any sense.  No one even cares about some tiny town he may be from. For Gods sake, the man seems like his only friends ever are his mother and cat. Please,  can we find someone else? You know I'm not opposed to the idea of a third, but does it have to be him?

   Your obedient lover, Asterion

__________________________________

My, deer sweet, sweet lover,

Oh, come on Asterion. He is truly not that bad. And mine and Wyll's patrons... aren't exactly on the friendliest of terms. And you know I'm not one for demons. And you certainly weren't calling him Stuffy when he saved your ass with that fireball not a fortnight ago. He's perfect. That 'scruff' of a beard is beautiful, and neither you nor I can grow one. Please, I promise he's not as bad as you believe.  He's quite wonderful once you get used to him.

   Your favorite lover, Vesa.

__________________________________

Apparently my favorite lover although you're getting on my nerves,

Have you been spending time with that oaf? Honestly my love, I thought you decent enough to keep better company.  And more to your beard point, I do believe we both know prestidigitation, so that's no issue if you really want that so badly. He's a human love and in his thirties.  He won't last half either of our lifetimes.  I'd hate to see you in pain when we lose him. You really mustn't get attached. Let's just find another like us. There's no need to rush this, my love. We have plenty of time to find a third. I just don't want to rush into things and choose someone... less than savory. He's got the personality of a page of paper, and honestly, I Pity that goddess whom he attached himself to. I truly think it best we don't get involved, less we might anger her.

 Questioning your intentions, Asterion

__________________________________

Come on my love

You know he and Mystra are over Astarion. Please, I beg of you. For me. Just give him a chance

    Forever grateful, Vesa

__________________________________

I hate that i love you this much, 

...Fine. but when this goes sideways my love, I'll still be by your side to pick up the pieces

  Forever yours, Asterion

_______________________________________________

This is just the first chapter, so please don't fret dear readers!

The rest of the chapters (and other content) are up on my Ao3!

Don't feel like searching my page? Don't worry! You can find the rest of Letters to a Lover Here!

I also take requests! I plan on setting up a masterlist soon and if you're interested please ask! I promise I will get to it!!!!

[cygnusmori]

Good Omens S2 thoughts ahead, beware of spoilers

It's been already two days since I binge watched the season in one go, and I wanna share some thoughts. However, they aren't positive, if you're looking for praise you won't like this.

I won't talk about the big bad end or Aziraphale, I think there's already enough posts covering the issue and explaining Aziraphale, or theorizing about Metatron, or that Crowley wasn't in the right either.

I wanna talk about him.

For many, it seems like he was the only positive sweet thing about that ending, and that this was his redemption arc.

But I digrees.

See, I've always been fan of Gabriel, and I always thought he was a nuanced character, I don't think Gabriel is anywhere near of perfection. I like him with his flaws, I think he's funny, ignorant, mean at times, and has that alienating "non human" feeling. He did bad things, but I never saw him as an evil big bad force, I never thought he was a villain. He was on the opposing side of our protagonists, which is different.

But that's the S1, let's talk about S2 and why I'm disappointed.

Maybe just showing that he isn't all evil a didn't want to try to destroy the world is enough of a development for most. But not for me, because we didn't see this development.

I'm grateful that he wasn't shown as an evil edgelord compulsive serial abuser? Yeah. Thanks.

But for most of the season, we didn't see Gabriel, we saw Jim. This amnesiac, empty, thoughtless person. I loved him, we all love him, I know! He's sweet, cute, empathetic, dumb, and apologized for something he didn't know he did.

But he didn't have any actual meaningful "eye-opening" experiences with the ineffables. He didn't have like, let's say an attempt at bonding or friendship, or getting to know and discover earth. Everyone theorized and was eager to have Gabriel discovering the wonders of earth and humanity, realizing is worth saving.

And what did we go? ...A flashback in the last episode that lasted less than, what, 6 minutes? Where he just enjoys the same song that Beelzebub. Everything about their relationship is left as just guess work, there's not even a fraction of growth like the ineffables had.

But not just that, is that it was mostly told. Not shown.

We didn't see Gabriel having any actual feelings, or conflicts, or problems, or worries. Nothing.

We're shown he could sacrifice himself to save the humans and trying to avoid the problems he was causing, which is sweet and beautiful! I love him! But that's still Jim...Would Gabriel do it? I wanna say yes, I wanna believe that he would! But that's the problem. we don't really know because we just got about less than 10 minutes of the actual Gabriel.

He remained as this silly amnesiac character for the first 5 episodes. And then on the last 20 minutes he got his memories back, and what did he do, after being protected and cared by Aziraphale and Crowley?

Nothing. There wasn't an exchange of words, there wasn't a "They helped me". There was nothing, there wasn't any explanation for why he actually seeked Aziraphale, besides that little implication made by Metatron that maybe Gabriel thought Aziraphale should be the next leader (which, let me add, could be a lie).

I, even as a fan of Gabe, feel like he had barely anything to offer. No much more relevant bits of his personality than what we already knew. I still thought he was super funny and loveable as Jim, but yeah...not growth. Especially between Aziraphale and him, after all...they knew each other for ages, Aziraphale thought he was awful but also that he would protect him, and this amnesiac Gabriel was eager to apologize and help, where are the follow ups of that?

I get it, he's a side character.

But this season he's a Plot Device.

What about these "lucid moments" where he spoke with the voice of God? Or those "It hurts to remember!"? They meant nothing? They weren't clues, he was just so ready to drop everything?

And as an audience I have to accept he really changed that much, he really didn't care about falling or losing his over 6000 years job. That's so...empty.

I didn't see any eye-opening, or mind-changer experience for him. We saw he's capable of love and respect and selfless actions, I guess, but that's just the most bare minimum, and one that I already always believed, so there's not excitement for me at all.

I think maybe I feel like this because I always thought he wasn't evil, but all of the reasoning for him not being evil, barely got touched. I mean the responsability maniac, the workaholic tendencies, the extreme obedience, the stress, the emotional familiarity with other archangels, the fear of falling... he had none of these things, he apparently changed in four years. That's it. "He's changed, and doesn't care about being the leader! And now he's singing a love song and disappearing happily on the sunset!" is not the direction I expected.

They just left, without consequences besides stepping down of their ranks? Gabriel's memories loss wasn't even a punishment. He had no real consequences for anything and that hurts me, because those are needed for a character to learn and progress. He got rewarded for loving freely, but that love wasn't even actually shown (no, cheesy and super sappy pet names aren't a relationship development)

I'm just sad...or more like devastated about almost everything in this S2. I guess I can just enjoy the fact that him being just a random dude and not worse than the devil himself is my consolation prize. And even with that I was left feeling like I don't have any reason to be in the fandom.

That said, those are just my thoughts. You can disagree and think this season was wonderfully done on every aspect, that's what opinions are.

[klxverlie]

i rant a lot abt genya and sanemi so here’s 8 rants abt genya and sanemi that no one asked for. but still got.

dedicated to everyone on twitter that got sad after reading them.

1.

i feel like ppl misunderstand genya i think bc they’re projecting into him like “he should be mad abt what sanemi did” no he shouldn’t????? don’t get me wrong he sure COULD but the whole point of the character is that he doesn’t, bc he’s simply not that kind of person !!

he’s so empathetic. he understands sanemi more than,,, probably anyone lmao, not in a logical sense bc he doesn’t analyze sanemi per se hes just led by feelings !! the thing abt genya is that ppl degrading him didn’t make him hate them, it made him hate himself.

i feel like that’s rlly important to who genya is, his values, how he sees life,,, he’s a naturally forgiving and loving person and sees the good in everyone by empathizing,,,

many people wouldn’t do the same but some other people would and that’s the beauty of his character, that he has his own ideals and perception.

2.

one thing that gets me is that genya was,,, healing. he met friends and people he appreciated and appreciated him. he wasn’t alone as he was when he was a kid and as he was when sanemi was no longer by his side.

he was healing until he wasn’t, right? physically and mentally. not even regeneration, not even having friends could save him. he got strong enough to save others, but not himself.

replying to a comment : I actually think it’s a great trajectory narratively speaking,,, specifically bc it’s unfair. The whole thing with kny is that demons are stronger than human, that their lives are on the line, that it’s a war and people die unfairly.

3.

i think genya didn’t feel like sanemi HATED him or something big like that, i think he just thought sanemi didn’t want him as a brother bc he had hurt him with what happened in their past

genya is hurt bc he wants a good relationship with sanemi and therefore wants to apologize, and that’s where his insecurities abt if sanemi hates him arrive, but he never questions sanemi being a good person

and he doesn’t think sanemi wants him dead or to hurt him, he just thinks sanemi’s mad at him and has every right to be (in genya’s mind)

i interpreted it this way bc of the scene where he talks to tanjiro and tanjiro tells him sanemi isn’t angry (he has doubts abt sanemi’s feelings) and bc of the scene where he punches zenitsu (he knows sanemi’s not a bad person)

(both of this scenes are before sanemi’s confession of his true intentions, bc genya’s perspective could’ve changed after that giving place to the death scene. but this leads me to believe this were his feelings before all of that)

but yeah i think we tend to extrapolate their behavior towards each other to every field when i think it’s not it

genya felt hurt on a personal way bc sanemi was trying to cut their relationship, but i didn’t get the feeling that he felt abused

besides genya being a kind and understanding and forgiving person, sanemi was always dismissive towards him. not aggressive.

i mean, he was mean (and he got worse due to genya not relenting) but his objective wasn’t to actively hurt genya by saying he was a worthless piece of trash, it was more to make him see he didn’t have talent.

but he never searched for genya to degrade him and ruin his life, in fact, what hurt genya wasn’t being degraded it was being ignored. related to what i said earlier abt him wanting a good relationship.

genya also has self esteem issues and i guess it’s partly influenced by what sanemi said but it’s mostly bc it’s true that he can’t use breathes. this never deterred him from eating demons to be able to fight though, he was determined to overcome this.

in kimetsu gakuen it’s said sanemi’s hard on genya so genya can be better and i think it’s based on this part of canon; it’s characteristic of genya bc it helps him get stronger (study more in gakuen) and it makes him kinda doubt himself

(in gakuen he thinks sanemi might like him more if he was smart like the tokito’s) but it ultimately doesn’t mean he has a bad relationship with sanemi, it’s just a depiction of their brotherly dynamic smh.

in canon though, the being ignored part IS what’s making their relationship fail.

also, the fact that genya didn’t think that sanemi hated him (he only wanted to be away from him) explains why he was so surprised in the eye poking scene,,, he didn’t feel like sanemi hated him so he didn’t expect him to do that, it felt out of character for him.

i don’t know what genya thought about sanemi after that but i bet it’s something related to not hating him, but hating that he was eating demons and doing something so foul.

4.

sanemi overthinks about genya. about life. on his desperation not to loose people he loves, he makes intricate plans to push genya away.

genya’s simpler, in a way. “you had many horrible memories and i want you to be happy” he’s not carefully crafted plans to protect, he’s much more genuine. he just loves.

5.

i can’t with the shinazugawas bc they loved each other sm they didn’t want the other to die before them. the only thing sanemi wanted for genya to be alive and viceversa bc they could handle loosing their relationship but they couldn’t handle loosing each other

6.

no bc i just know that genya was terrified while he died but i think that he was also happy that sanemi didn’t, everytime i think abt how selfless he actually was i get sick he deserved sm more

he must’ve also felt so broken bc his brother loved him !!! but they’ll never see each other again !!! and they didn’t enjoy their moments together to the fullest but he really only wanted sanemi to survive and viceversa.

7.

i think a lot abt how family dynamics affect the shinazugawas storyline bc sanemi feels like he has the duty to protect genya bc he’s the older sibling

but genya’s the second oldest . was the second oldest and he also has the instinct to protect

genya feels responsible too and more so after he wasn’t there for sanemi when sanemi needed it the most

he had to fight to protect bc sanemi wanted him to be the one protected but he saw the suffering he wanted to help

he’s an older brother who doesn’t have little siblings anymore

comment : Oh not to mention Genya was the one who witnessed his siblings getting killed, sanemi wasn’t in there when it happened. I feel like that would also effect genya majorly since he seen it happen yk?

YEAH THAT TOO that must’ve affected him sm bc he couldn’t protect anyone that night. sanemi protected genya but genya was there and he was unable to do anything 😭

i think that’s also why he’s so insistent on apologizing to sanemi bc like . looking back he’d see that the only thing he could’ve done that night was at least be there for him and he wasn’t

reply to a comment : yeah sanemi could’ve had better communication skills, but honestly? i get him. he wanted genya to get away and be safe and if he had accepted genya’s apology and showed him a bit of warmth genya wouldn’t have let go 😭

8.

we talk a lot abt how sanemi’s issues affected his relationship with genya but not abt how genya’s issues affected his relationship with sanemi

i feel like more ppl see genya only as a victim bc his way of reacting to trauma was to blame himself but that is too his issue

he could’ve hated sanemi or defended himself but he . didn’t . and he probably should have bc that was what sanemi was aiming to do too 😭 but genya just blamed himself

genya didn’t have to keep being after sanemi given how bad he was being treated, and then sanemi wouldn’t have been driven to extremes

it’s the fact that their interests and ways of reacting to trauma and family dynamics conflict what makes the events of kny possible but genya’s trauma did influence it he wasn’t acting like any normal person would, either.

[dateamonster]

longass monster high liveblog: season 2 edition lets gooooooo

rule school

very first thought of the new season: i want a doll of clawdeens wereruler armor so bad. also im excited for more worldbuilding lore stuff, and more varied werecreature designs! part of me gets a little irked sometimes that there seems to be disproportionate attention payed to werecreatures and the inner workings of their society over other monster species, but i cannot deny, i love a funny lil furry.

especially this side character bear dude who keeps showing up

rly feels like there should be a clause in were-society for what to do if ur wereruler is a fuckin kid. she should not have to be doing all this.

when she finally gets that armor off its gonna be like rock lee with the weights

i love these cunty old werewolf ladies ngl

damn speedreader clawdeen

that painting of foxford is soo cute clawdeen i loove u

toralei!! toralei HUG!!!!!!!! hug AND a pun!!! shes sososososo cute

oh and shes maaaad that she showed affection where other people can see lol the Dynamic.. it is unfolding before my very eyes..

oh damn the fox guy is a sneaky motherfucker? who could have foreseen this....... granted the whale plushie is unexpected

new witch in town

draculauras gay lil witch friend <333

lol is humans using monster slang a microaggression? much to think about.

im really interested in this developing plotline about draculaura being pressured to be like the model of Good Witchcraft. it works well with her established character and arc of like trying to live up to her fathers reputation and status in the monster world. poor girl never seems to be able to just fucking relax.

skelita! i love that shes trying out witchcraft, and the art-based magic is a fun angle too! i can totally see where this is going tho. drac is super serious about magic because theres all this pressure on her while skelita is just trying it out in a casual way so theyre at odds. its an interesting dilemma because i can def see both sides.

im really happy the writing seems like empathetic to both positions here. skelita deserves to try magic her way on her own terms, but its also totally understandable draculaura would feel protective over witchcraft when any misuse of it is ultimately going to reflect on her since she was the one working to legitimize it. respectability is a double edged sword fr!

play it again clawd

aw clawd is such a sweetiepie mamas boy. i def feel a little bad for him. imagine if ur little sister became the queen of ur entire society and ur just like. hangin out there.

oh were doing a groundhog day? im not a big timeloop plot person but ill try not to be too biased

this is also how me and my roommate act when theres a fly in the house

aw im rly glad they acknowledge that selena had like a whole life in beheme that she had to leave behind when she came home.. idk if theyre planning to actually do anything more substantial with that but yea when you think about its kinda fucked up! they probably had friends and stuff! clawd was *born* there! i get why theyd choose to stay here with their family and all even if they could easily go back, but like, its gotta be sad at times!

ok not bad as a timeloop ep goes. still not my fav but like clawds so cute and its so nice seeing him do stuff with his family <3

thats all for tonight i think! see u next time!!

[star--anon]

I think it would've been nice to see Dr. Paige do a classic Good Cop, Bad Cop ordeal in Fever Code

after Thomas' name enforcement, she bustles in the following day and explains to him, with the kindest and most empathetic voice, that what happened to him was in no way authorized. Dr. Randall has been put on probation, they're searching to find out who allowed this to happen in the first place, etc. etc.

Thomas is a brilliant kid, after all!! She's sure he would've learned his name eventually. There was no need for that machine :]]]]]

But what's happened has happened, right? (Thomas flinches a little at the casual disregard of his torture). Now that the name situation is out of the way, they can get on to the fun stuff :DD

and Dr. Paige will be overseeing Thomas' progress, not Dr. Randall. So Thomas will be safe :]]

Every time something bad happens, Dr. Paige magically seems to have a task for Thomas that requires him and him only because he's just that special :D Sorry about what happened last night, but here's something to subconsciously make you feel better :]

slowly training Thomas to associate Dr. Paige with safety. With compassion. With a human connection that none of the other lab nerds seem to have.

When Thomas is told about the Trials and Variables, he has his doubts. But Dr. Paige is smiling so kindly at him.... there's no way she could harm a kid, right? She's the one protecting him, after all.

idk I just want more of... an actual Brainwashing of Thomas. Torturing him into learning his lessons, but also making sure he's still on WCKD's side.

also, Dr. Paige's betrayal would be so much worse.

[hijackalx]

Behold, my most favoritest durge in the whole universe:

Rowan!!!

*sitcom crowd cheering sound effect*

She’s a redemption arc durge and also my lil boo thang.

Some insight to her appearance:

The scripture on her face and black eye are supposed to represent her Badness (like a physical manifestation of her shame and guilt, no actual logical reasoning for it lol) and it also indicates the two different sides of herself that she struggles to balance. Her tear stains represent that struggle.

After she redeems herself (2nd photo), the scar on that side of her face still remains, a bitter reminder that her past will always be a part of her regardless of how desperately she tries to set things right.

Anyway, follow her in her journey of self discovery and better drip

*Dark Urge questline spoilers below*

Rowan is a human bard, her instrument of choice being the violin. I think that it compliments her personality since its versatility allows it to be either somber/haunting (classic violin), or spunky/upbeat (fiddle). Particularly during the beginning of her journey, she flips back and forth between these contrasts frequently.

She’s kindhearted, often willing to help those in need, but she is not a pushover. She doesn’t mind bullying those she deems as “bad” to get what she wants— or just bullying them in general (subconsciously projecting how she views herself onto them and punishing them the way she believes she should be punished for her urges).

She will expect something in return for her good deeds, as she believes good should be rewarded. “If being good is thankless, then who will want to be good anymore?” She’ll accept rewards in the form of assistance, gifts, and gold (obviously gold is preferred, she has to save up for a better fit. Being that swagless is just adding onto her list of crimes against humanity)

Rowan is a very difficult person to gain the trust of, and she does not initially tell anyone about her urges. She is very suspicious of everyone’s intentions and generally keeps her distance.

She has a hard time with Astarion, since she immediately senses that he has a lot to hide (again, projecting— she is hiding horrible things from everyone, and assumes the same of anyone else who is equally as secretive). They don’t typically get along to begin with, but there is a mutual attraction.

When he confesses his vampirism to her and hopes that she’ll spare some blood, she feels empathetic. Although they had not seen eye-to-eye before, she sees herself in him at this moment— both victims to their urges under circumstances they didn’t ask for. She finds it in herself to help him out.

Unfortunately, he kills her (bruh moment). She is angry once revived and pulls away from him again, feeling as though her trust has been taken advantage of. Ultimately, she decides to forgive him for reasons unknown to her (this is circling back to seeing herself in Astarion, and she is fulfilling her desire for forgiveness by forgiving him. She has 8 wisdom though so she has zero ability to realize this LMAO)

Not long after this, Alfira is killed at camp. She’s able to get away with it, but the guilt eats away at her day by day.

Despite her attempts to choke it down, the truth forces its way out, desperate to be known and understood. She decides to tell Astarion, someone who she hopes will acknowledge her struggles instead of shunning them due to their similarities. His acceptance of her draws her closer to him, taking interest in the solidarity between them.

Eventually, she finds out that red is definitely her color. Although, while the fits are hard, they are impractical (booboo armor class). Trooper that she is, she accepts it as still being an upgrade from before.

She gradually becomes less patient as time goes on, growing weary from constantly keeping a lid on her urges. She allows herself to participate in more minor cruelty as a result, hoping it will grant her some relief. She is still keen on doing the right thing, but her attitude plummets and she often takes pleasure in maiming those who are on the opposing spectrum of her morality.

Around this time, she is also approached by Astarion, who wishes to sleep with her. Since she is attracted to him, she agrees, though she doesn’t expect anything other than a FWB situation. They both end up catching feelings (bruh moment #2). They become almost inseparable and he takes her to poundtown every other night until he pulls away for Astarion reasons (y’all know I’m not writing all that).

It isn’t until her urges almost kill Astarion—the only person she’s been able to truly trust with who she is— that she solidifies the fact that she has to stop giving in to them, no matter how small, as they clearly snowball into something uncontrollable.

After this, she realizes it would be safer for everyone to know the truth, even if it means losing a few friends. Luckily, they accept her, lifting the excruciating weight off her back.

This brings her much closer to Gale and Shadowheart, who have been with her every step of the way and choose to continue to do so even after she confesses. She concludes that she was wrong about them, and that not everyone is out to get her like she previously feared.

As you can see, it’s only uphill from here baby. She finally turned her swag on, acquiring armor that not only looks cool as fuck, but also has a respectable armor class. She even got drip for the entire crew, generous queen.

With support from her companions, she’s encouraged to go through with freeing herself from her urges. Although, she refuses their help during her fight with Orin. She sees that they’ve played their part, and that this fight is something she has to go through alone one last time. She reigns victorious in the end, though this leaves her feeling a little lost. How can she continue living after the suffering she’s caused?

Instead of wishing to punish herself for her actions, she tries to atone for them. In order to do this, she leans fully into “hero” status, no longer accepting the title of “morally-debatable hero”. She helps whoever she can, accepting the good karma as payment rather than objects or actions. She finds that this leads to better things than an immediate reward.

She also stops torturing bad guys like a freak and becomes more reasonable in her reprimands (if she can get better, can’t they?)

I don’t think she has fully forgiven herself yet, and I don’t know if she ever will, but she’s on the right path.

😋✌🏻

That’s it for now. If you read this far you’re actually crazy as hell but also very cool and swaggy.

Rowan’s story isn’t quite finished yet, since I know the latest patch messed up some of the ending scenes, so I’m waiting for those to get fixed. Just know she’s at the citadel waiting to save the world like the good-aligned shorty she is (And yes her face has cleared up. I’m so proud of my bae 💗).

Feel free to share your favorite tav with me!!

Some bonus pics:

[dadddybangtan]

Suck Torture | Interlude: Taehyun

Back Table of Contents Next

cw: mentions of d3@th threats

word count: 2.1k

a.n… this chapter kicks off the next act of the story. if you thought the first half was complicated, it only gets more complicated from here. a slue of new tags will be added that i didn’t intend when i first started writing this three months ago. but i couldn’t be happier with where this story is going. please enjoy <3

Taehyun heard the lock on the door creek open at about two a.m. Beomgyu was home from his meeting with Hyunjin. He sprung out of bed to greet him, but he was met with an expressionless, emotionless human. On contact, he started to worry.

"How did it go?" Taehyun asked softly, careful not to provoke any negative reactions.

"Fine. He wants me to present a proposal with him or whatever."

His head hung low in his chest. Something was bothering him, something else. Taehyun knew that.

"Nothing tried to hurt you on the way back, right?"

"No." Said Beomgyu.

But he's lied about that before. There was nothing stopping him from lying about it again.

He silently made his way to Taehyun's room and he followed. He wasn't used to seeing Kai's bed so empty. Even so, Beomgyu didn't take advantage of that. He sat on Taehyun's bed.

"It was a vampire-demon hybrid that killed Kai," He started, "What's worse is that he didn't even remember it. It was instinctual."

"How is that worse?"

"Because I can't be mad at him. I just feel bad. The kid broke down crying and apologizing. For something he doesn't even remember doing."

"I see." Taehyun tried to understand.

"I feel worse for Hyunjin. He's stuck having to fix it all."

Beomgyu looked up at Kai's lone bed. He looked at the plushies that encompassed most of it.

"Why did it have to be him," He cried, "He was innocent. He was so fucking innocent."

That last word was muffled in Taehyun's chest. He cradled the floppy haired man. He questioned how Beomgyu, someone who's only known Kai for a few weeks, could feel so deeply about his passing. That was the thing about Kai, if they knew him, they loved him. His innocence and purity was so rare that people remembered him.

Taehyun also noted how empathetic Beomgyu was. How his anger dissolved after seeing the other side. How he pitied the monsters who killed their friend. His brain was wired in a way that thinks about everything. It seemed exhausting even from the outside looking in.

"Do you wanna sleep with me again tonight?"

Beomgyu shook his head, still buried in Taehyun. He didn't believe him until he said, "I don't wanna wake up and see his empty bed."

"It's empty, Beomgyu. That's how it is now." Taehyun was blunt because he knew sugar coating would only make Beomgyu feel worse.

"How are you so cool about this?" Beomgyu asked as he lifted his head up and wiped his tears.

"Because I have to be. Even though it hurts like hell, I can't let it show."

But Taehyun knew he could let that show if he wanted to. Yeonjun and Soobin weren't going to judge him for showing a little bit of weakness. Beomgyu wouldn't dare to either. He couldn't trust himself to be strong enough to show weakness.

Beomgyu slid into the sheets, moving closest to the wall so Taehyun wouldn't have to crawl over him to get to his workout. Taehyun reached over and pet his head.

"One day you'll get tired of being cool."

"I won't." He told himself more than Beomgyu.

"You will, and I'll be here for you when you do," He said, "I'll hold you and pet you. I'll be right here."

Taehyun huffed under his breath in disbelief. He saw himself as strong and cold. He took life as it came. Beomgyu didn't know him long enough to make an inference like that.

"Taehyun, do you think Kai would forgive someone who didn't mean to kill him?"

He huffed at that too. Until he looked at the little black eyes in the plushies on Kai's bed. Those eyes looked soulless to him but they meant everything to Kai. Then his heart started to ache. And the tears started to fall.

"He would." Taehyun whispered, letting out a shaky breath and falling into Beomgyu's chest.

As Beomgyu said, he was there. He held him safely in his arms as he sobbed. He kept him steady as his cries hiccuped throughout his small body. The tears soaked through his shirt, but he didn't care. He was there for him like he promised.

The next morning, as usual, Taehyun was up early for his workout. He ran down the stairwell of the apartment building as a warmup and down the street to the local gym. He had his earbuds in, blasting his fifteen-hour playlist on shuffle.

Going in to the gym, he went straight to the treadmill. He started off with a walk that gradually grew into a jog. He paced himself well and breathed accordingly.

He felt a presence on the treadmill next to him and glanced over a bit without breaking his focus too much. He faintly heard a few words spoken outside of his music, so he took out the earbud closest to the other.

"Oh sweet, I didn't know you gym here, bro. We could've been gym buddies."

When he looked over again, he saw who it was. Chan was his classmate last semester in music theory. In school, he dressed modestly, but at the gym he showed off a lot more skin. It made Taehyun question why he was grinding at the gym to begin with. He's ripped.

"I guess." He muttered, beginning to put his earbud back in.

"Hey, you like parties?"

"Sure?" He wasn't in the mood to talk.

"I'm throwing a new year's party, you should come, bring a friend."

"What about curfew?"

"Eh, that's only for public places. Can't put a curfew on my house, bro."

Just then, Taehyun noticed the speed on Chan's treadmill. He was pushing twenty miles an hour, about twelve more miles than Taehyun. He was insanely fast while still being able to hold a casual conversation. He wasn't even breaking a sweat. Can a treadmill even run that fast?

"Right. Well," Taehyun panted, "Just text me the address or whatever."

Completely unfocused, he stopped the machine and hopped off. Suddenly, he didn't feel like finishing his workout.

Instead he went for a walk, earbuds in and strolling along the city streets. Until he spotted a familiar silhouette across the street. He was the only one wearing all black, so it could be one person; Hyunjin.

He watched him slip into the library that Beomgyu worked at. He quickly jogged across the mildly empty street and followed him in discreetly, pulling the collar of his jacket over his mouth and keeping his head low. He watched Hyunjin from the corner of his eye.

He watched his careful and curated walk as he strutted the same aisle he and Beomgyu scaled the night before. It seemed like he was trying to find the empty space in which the book they grabbed was. Then Hyunjin's pale hand reached into his jacket and pulled out the small book. He snuck it back into the slot without any bookkeepers noticing.

The only one who noticed was Taehyun. That's probably why Hyunjin looked over his shoulder and made direct, daring eye contact with him. Taehyun shivered. The vampire slowly made his way to the man and Taehyun removed an earbud in case he decided to speak.

"Can we talk?"

He only nodded.

Hyunjin gestured toward the door and Taehyun walked after him.

"I'm sure you're wondering what I want. Or why I'd want to talk to you," Hyunjin clearly read his mind, "Especially after I shut you out last night."

"Yeah..."

"Firstly, I want to apologize. There's a lot going on with my family right now and we're trying to minimize the amount of people who know our situation. I was cold to you in favor of Beomgyu and I'm sorry." His voice was calm and mature. It was obvious that he was centuries older than Taehyun and his friends.

"It's okay, I get it."

"Secondly, I wanted to ask if Beomgyu was okay. I was too wrapped up in all this drama that I forgot to make sure Beomgyu got home safely so late at night."

"He's fine."

"Thirdly, are you okay," He asked sincerely, "Surely things have been hard since the loss of your friend."

Don't you mean the murder that happened to be strictly instinctual?

"So you're aware that it was instinctual as I am aware that it was a murder," He answered in a full mumble, "Excuse me for trying to censor those trigger words in public. I'm not exactly safe to be out right now."

"Look, I accept your apology and thanks for checking on Beomgyu but I don't see why you'd need to ask how I'm doing. We aren't friends and we aren't going to be."

"Beomgyu trusts you and you care a lot about him, right," Taehyun nodded, "Then you should know that a vampire is planning to kill him."

"What?" His heart sank.

"He's obsessive, jealous... He's just trying to make certain that I'll never see him again," He said, "I'll do my best to prevent it, but you see him more than I do."

Taehyun took in a sharp breath. He couldn't believe what was being said to him. First it was Kai, then Beomgyu was being threatened too. There was nothing he could do to save Kai. He was afraid that there was nothing he could do to save Beomgyu either.

"I- I can't fight a vampire. I'm only a man," Taehyun panicked, "Why can't you just kill him first."

Hyunjin sighed, cocking an eyebrow at the seemingly simple solution.

"That would only complicate things."

"So we have no choice but to sit and wait for him to pounce? I'm not doing that."

"Fine. I'll try to spend as much time with him as I can. That way I can keep my eye on him and away from Beomgyu. You do the same, make sure he doesn't go anywhere alone."

Hyunjin opened the door to a breakfast shop they were passing. He silently told Taehyun to come in as well. He glanced over the menu aimlessly.

"What does Beomgyu like?"

"Oh, um, a breakfast sandwich would be good for him. Proteins, carbs."

Hyunjin approached the counter.

"One breakfast sandwich, please," He said before looking over at Taehyun, "And a breakfast burrito, extra meat."

"Is that all?" The cashier asked, leading Hyunjin to nod.

He swiped his card effortlessly, But Taehyun was still in shock. He looked up at Hyunjin's lifelessly pale face, imagined how cold his skin was. And he questioned how someone so cold could have such a warm heart.

He cared about Beomgyu, maybe even a little more than Taehyun. He cared for his family, protecting their privacy. And, surprisingly, he cared for Taehyun.

People cared about Taehyun like his roommates, Soobin, Yeonjun, Kai, and Beomgyu. But with Taehyun's persona being so isolated and withdrawn, it was hard for them to show it. There was a wall that made it even harder for him to feel it.

There was something in the way Hyunjin so easily penetrated through that wall without breaking the person behind it. Sure, it was with the help of his vampiric powers, but Taehyun didn't care. Hyunjin saw him in a way that no one else could.

Before they knew it, their order was ready. Hyunjin retrieved it and handed it off to Taehyun.

"Take this home to him, okay? Make sure he eats well."

"Thank you."

Hyunjin gave him a gentle smile before bidding him goodbye and leaving the shop. Taehyun wanted to say more, but he couldn't. There were no words left.

He was happy to see Beomgyu sleeping in comfortably in his bed. He didn't care that he pitched in a good amount of money for that pull out couch in the living room, Beomgyu looked better there.

"Beomgyu," Taehyun said softly, sitting on the bed, "Wake up."

"Hm?" He hummed as he slowly opened his groggy eyes.

"Got you breakfast."

A kind, full smile graced his face, filling Taehyun's stomach with butterflies.

"You didn't have to do that. There's stuff here."

"I know," Taehyun chuckled, "I got something too, so it's okay. We can eat together."

He sat up in bed to match Taehyun. Once he was stable, Taehyun pulled him in for a hug. He nuzzled his nose in his bed head, taking in the comforting woody scent. He held him so tightly, almost trembling.

He wondered what he would say if he knew Hyunjin bought that breakfast for him. Taehyun was completely unaware of Hyunjin's presence in Beomgyu's life. All he knew was that they're close enough to make another jealous.

However, Taehyun wasn't jealous. He only saw the ways that Beomgyu and Hyunjin were more compatible. They were both empathetic and expressive, a lot more than him.

"Thank you, Tae."

But he should be thanking Hyunjin, not me.

And with that, Taehyun became afraid of two things: losing Beomgyu to an early, painful death and losing Beomgyu to Hyunjin.