ragingtabbycat

[ragingtabbycat]

sorry about the missing chapter yesterday, I realised the dire importance of ✨outlining✨ and spent my creative time working on planning and plotting. Will be back on Monday though, probably.

My thoughts have been consumed by @tenebrius-excellium's reverse HTTYD AU. So I started writing a fic. So far it's not very long and the chapters are pretty short but the start is on AO3.

[ragingtabbycat]

Chapter 5 just dropped.

"Hiccup grew increasingly convinced that this dragon was an agent of Loki sent to him as a punishment."

My thoughts have been consumed by @tenebrius-excellium's reverse HTTYD AU. So I started writing a fic. So far it's not very long and the chapters are pretty short but the start is on AO3.

[ragingtabbycat]

Already on Chapter 4 of the AU and getting more than 30 kudos on each chapter??? CONGRATS!!! It's... positively ghastly. Super hard to read how much blood there is. Love that Toothless trapped Hiccup with fire. Also love Stoick's burns and his helplessness. Ow.

I'm having a really good time writing it and I'm glad other people like it too.

[ragingtabbycat]

I want to read the Buffy the Vampire Slayer comics, and I was looking around for physical copies and all of the dark horse ones are out of print, including the cannon ones. So basically any physical copy is fuck off expensive. I collect comics but I'm not a collector of nice editions or first prints, I am a collector of the stories themselves, and it sucks that I can't get a nice new print for standard comic pricing. I just want to read them please.

Also being out of print means I can't order in to my local comic book store to support them, because the supplier no longer has copies.

[ragingtabbycat]

Chapter 4 is up now

"The Dragon was woken by a scream. An earth shattering blood curdling scream."

My thoughts have been consumed by @tenebrius-excellium's reverse HTTYD AU. So I started writing a fic. So far it's not very long and the chapters are pretty short but the start is on AO3.

[ragingtabbycat]

Chapter 3 is up.

"There was a chance his son was still alive. But the nightfury, the nightfury was already dead."

My thoughts have been consumed by @tenebrius-excellium's reverse HTTYD AU. So I started writing a fic. So far it's not very long and the chapters are pretty short but the start is on AO3.

[ragingtabbycat]

[ragingtabbycat]

My thoughts have been consumed by @tenebrius-excellium's reverse HTTYD AU. So I started writing a fic. So far it's not very long and the chapters are pretty short but the start is on AO3.

[ragingtabbycat]

Followed Wind and Truth with Towers of Midnight which is close to 1000 pages making December look broken

Wind and Truth's impact.... unmatched lol

[ragingtabbycat]

I watched Jentry Chau vs the Underworld recently; Kit and Jentry's relationship is relatable and compling in a way few fictional romances are to me as an Aromantic person.

They way Kit doesn't see Jentry's desire for normalcy as a 'valid' reason for not wanting a relationship and seeks to 'fix' that. He takes rejection as a personal attack and a slight on his character. He shows himself to only think of Jentry as an object of his affections, even if it is subconsciously, and not accept his rejection. After his rejection he in a way 'proves' himself as a someone who would make a bad partner, cause he doesn't allow compassion or empathy for Jentry to get in the way of his own desire. She might have complex reasons for rejecting Kit, but then he showed that even without those reasons their relationship would be doomed.

When I am forced to reject someone as an aromantic person, and they keep pursuing me romantically, that leaves a sour taste in my mouth. They show me that they lack the care or respect for me outside of them that would make a relationship work. If I was allo, I wouldn't want to date them because they haven't taken the time to understand me and respect my emotions.

This explicitly romantic relationship between two people who experience at least some level of romantic attraction has represented some of my aro experiences in a way I didn't think was possible.

Also seeing how the fandom reacts feels a lot like seeing how people irl react when I complain of similar problems. Not in a good way. Shout out to that one co-worker who jokingly calls one of my friends 'my boyfriend' after I was complaining about him repeatedly, knowingly stepping over my romantic boundaries.

[ragingtabbycat]

At my Uni during O-Day where all the clubs and societies set up tents on the oval to attract freshers, there is always a mini bible guy.

He just hands them out it's difficult to avoid. Anyway he threw a bible at one of my mates.

One of my mates got hit by a mini bible.

It was a sign from God.

(Mate is still an atheist)

Got a free bible from the street preachers today they were like are you trying to reconnect with god and I was like no… I just collect free bible… not very pleased with that answer unfortunately but I was already away…. Got em again… #win #hallelujah

[ragingtabbycat]

[ragingtabbycat]

One of my good mates just texted me a link to a Spotify album that is the entire shrek movie redone as ASMR

This is what friendship is.

[ragingtabbycat]

Thomas Edison would have loved generative AI and i mean that in the most insulting way.

[ragingtabbycat]

hair on ears = bad

Been feeling pretty stressed lately for no real reason. Get a hair cut. Feel much better. I was over stimulated... All the time... Because my hair was to long and touching me in irritating ways... Fuck me.

[ragingtabbycat]

Been feeling pretty stressed lately for no real reason. Get a hair cut. Feel much better. I was over stimulated... All the time... Because my hair was to long and touching me in irritating ways... Fuck me.

[ragingtabbycat]

You have an aroace friend or loved one. Here are your options:

You could do some emotional labour, dig into your own assumptions and biases. Try to understand me as a person, and how who they are colour's their experiences, relationships and attitudes. Or... You could outsource that emotional labour to them and they have to yield all of my emotional needs to yours. They have to explain themselves over and over again, and stop relationships from falling apart. But it doesn't matter because the only relationships that require work and compromise are romantic and they don't do that so it's actually fine.

Some allo people have no empathy for what the aroace experience is actually like

Someone just texted me “being aroace seems like a pretty good deal” after putting me in a position where I had to reject him for the third time. After being out to him about being aroace for years.

Do you think it feels good to have to reject people? I know being rejected sucks and being in a position where fundamentally you will be rejected sucks. Doing the rejecting also sucks. It fucking sucks when the person in question knows it’s a hopeless pursuit, when they know it could never happen. Thanks a lot for putting me in a position where I have to reject you again. Where I have to be empathetic and tactful because you are my friend and I like spending time with you. I’m sorry but at no point did you ever have any empathy for the position you put me in. I have to play the mediator, the balancer, I have to put everyone else’s emotions above my own. I don’t have this ‘vital’ human experience, I don’t have this specific complex bag of emotions that comes with romance; therefore I don’t have my own complex emotions about people and relationships. He doesn’t respect my identity. He thinks maybe if he confesses enough, I’ll want him back. He doesn’t get that I just am not like that. Stop giving me the emotional burden of the exchange. He lets everything out, and I have to do all the emotional labour. He did all this knowing the outcome and now we are both unhappy and uncomfortable. If he was even a little bit empathetic of me, he’d get that everyone else, also thinks this way. So many people think that they are the ‘one’ that I might just like. People put me in this position over and over again thinking that they are special that they are different. “Being aroace seems like a pretty good deal” only if you’ve just been rejected and feel bad about it.

The actual aroace experience of a complex balancing act of trying to build the relationships you want without leading people on. Keeping everyone at arm’s length lest they fall in love with you. That sinking dread knowing that someone is growing attracted to you and they are going to try something about it and it will make things awkward, it will fuck the friendship up at least for a little bit because they’ve moved into some ‘higher’ state of relationship and you haven’t. Knowing they want something that you just can’t give to them. I want deep friendships but everyone just sees them as a stepping stone to ‘something more’. Being ‘friendzoned’ is a bad thing. I have one genuine deep emotional friendship, that I trust completely, that there isn’t this fear that I am going to have to reject them at some point. I want a network of strong friendships, and I can’t have that, but you can’t have your romance with me either, so I guess we’re both miserable. It sucks being the designated empathy machine, it sucks having to reject people over and over again.

I constantly have this attitude, from multiple people, that being aroace is optimal, people think that the worse thing that could ever happen to someone is rejection and heartbreak. They don’t stop to think from my perspective, being rejected is a rare occurrence anyway, it only happens when you ask, when you take a step forward. This is my life, this is my existence. I have to do this every day. This isn’t even covering the social expectations that you defy just by being aroace. I’ve sorry, but if you think “Being aroace seems like a pretty good deal”, you have never even considered what it might be like from the other side. People have this attitude that being aroace is a lot more flexible than it actually is, at least in my experience.

Don’t get me wrong, I like being aroace, it is who I am. But attitudes like this make me want to scream. Cause being aroace doesn't suck, but how everyone treats you for being aroace certainly does.