#i just want consistent hours and to get paid on time without asking is that too much?

[mushroomgothic]

updated my resume for the first time in like 4 years, certainly didn’t miss this lmao. just so fucking tired of my manager and getting paid late and having unexpected days off due to one problem or another she’s having

[erodasfishtacos]

Digging A Deeper Hole || MLB ||

Prompt: Harry is going through a rough adjustment to his new life. At twenty-one, he was the face of a massive franchise, a father, and a husband with millions watching his every mood. He starts to feel it. Word Count: 7.8k Warnings: Depression, Anxiety, Angst - please keep in mind H is young here so he’s a bit more immature than one shots where he’s older. He’s still figuring stuff out

AUTHORS NOTES:

There is 5 more part to this up on patreon (17k words, a 25.1k fic overall)

I upload a piece of writing every 1-3 days (usually two) consistently// currently updating abo!roommates

All writings are accurately and always added to the organized folders in the collections feature

There are currently 300 + pieces available to read

It only cost $3USD —— thanks for any support and check me out here!

========================= Harry had the weight on the world on his shoulders.

The past year had been the best but most stressful time that he has ever had in his life.

He hadn’t had a break, it was go, go, go.

At the age of twenty-one, it felt like he had responsibilities that most people never had this amount of.

He had expectations from every side, especially from work, though it sounded like a dream to be the new face of Major League Baseball, to be the highest paid rookie to start, or the fact that he was a projected to be one of the best players of all time.

It came at a cost.

A really fucking big cost.

It took Harry a while to realize that he was experiencing some depression, the pressure of his coaches, the team, the public, and on top of that, he was navigating being newly married with a baby.

++

”Styles, get off the phone!” His assistant coach shouted from the field, he should be jogging onto the mound because practice was nearly over, and everyone was ready to head back to the hotels.

“Hold the fuck on!” Harry shouts back without looking up, waiting for the FaceTime call to connect, he had thought he had more time before they started up again.

Harry’s heart leaps when it connects, his perfect baby in the camera view, blowing raspberries between chewing on teether that looked like car keys, “Say ‘hi’ to your daddy!”

Easton is too little to quite comprehend the phone but he blinks in confusion at the screen before blowing another wet raspberry towards his father.

”Hi East, look at how handsome you look,” Harry croons, trying to memorize every little feature because he’s only going to be this small for a little while, “Your daddy misses you so much.”

YN pulls the phone to her face for a moment, “I took him on a walk around Central Park earlier today and he saw a group of pigeons. He squealed so loudly that they all flew away in a flock and he started giggling. I wish I would have gotten it on video.”

”He really does love the pigeons-“ Harry begins but is cut off.

”Styles, final warning. Get off your phone or I’m locking it up! Now,” The other coach yells, starting to actually get pissed, and Harry has to resist the urge to flip them off.

”H,” YN says knowingly, it was pretty common that he was getting yelled at, “Go practice.”

“I want to be home with you,” Harry frowns, he truly means it.

”I know,” YN agrees with kind understanding on her face, “Go kick some ass for us.”

++

He didn’t get to spend the time he wanted at home with his family, the away games caused him to panic, and he was starting to have anxiety attacks as he steps onto the private jet.

Harry was blowing YN’s phone up at any free moment he got, asking to FaceTime to see her and Easton, and YN had noticed how much more he was asking for reassurance, it was frequent.

++

”He’s sleepy. He just fed for almost an hour,” YN murmurs, tired herself and her eyes were heavy, it was undeniable that she had a lot on her plate with taking care of Easton by herself.

YN did see Anne once or twice a week but she was adamant that she did not need help raising her own baby, that she was fully capable of taking care of Easton by herself when Harry wasn’t home.

Easton was ten-months at this point, splayed on his mother’s chest with a milk-drunk little smile as he laid his small fist on her neck, easily starting to drift to sleep.

Harry feels a pang of disgusting, gnarly guilt and disappointment that he’s not there to lay in bed with them, and he felt like a piece of shit for sitting in this swanky hotel room by himself.

”Harry?” YN asks after he doesn’t respond, he was just watching the screen as his wife ran her fingers through Easton’s soft baby curls, silky smooth.

Harry swallows harshly to avoid the tears prickling, “I love you so much. You know that?”

YN smiles at him, soft and warm, “We love you so much. We miss you and cannot wait for you to get home. We both want so many cuddles with you.”

Harry’s jaw clenches, scrunching his nose, and feel the pit in his stomach get deeper, darker, rawer, and it felt overwhelming as he sat alone with his family on the other side of the country.

It felt suffocating that he wanted to go home but he couldn’t because he had a contract, a job, he had to provide, and he worked his whole life to be where he’s at.

He’s in a position that billions would want to be in but all he can think about is being with his family, he would give up everything he’d ever accomplished to cuddle with them every night.

But he couldn’t, deep down, he knew that it was his emotions getting the best of him, and it’s disappointing that he’s not enjoying baseball like he thought he would right now.

“I…I’m sorry,” Harry sniffles, rubbing his eye roughly to catch the tears before they fall any further.

YN’s smile falls which makes him feel even worse, “Baby, what’s wrong? Why are you apologizing?”

”I’m not there to help you,” Harry presses his face into his forearm to try to stop the tears, “I’m just sittin’ here in a hotel room, I’m fuckin’ useless to you.”

”Hey,” YN says firmly, lips going into a straight line, “Harry, you are not useless. How could you think that? You’re providing for us. You make it possible for me to stay at home, in this beautiful home, with everything we’d ever need, and spend every moment with Easton. That’s because of you.”

It makes Harry feel a bit better, that perspective on the situation because he hadn’t looked at it like that, “I’ll always provide for you two.”

”You’re the best provider. We love you so much. We are so proud of you. Easton is going to be so so proud of his daddy and what a good man you are to us,” YN tells him confidently, thter’s no wavering in her voice as she watches Harry’s reaction.

Harry hangs his head, done trying to stop the tears, he didn’t feel good.

He had felt depression a few times in his life, the most when he was going through his struggles with his sexuality, and it was starting to feel like that again.

”Harry,” YN’s voice is soft, careful, “Are you okay, baby? What made you so upset?”

Harry wipes his face with the back of his hand, he didn’t want to worry YN.

She had so much on her plate right now that the last thing she needed to worry about was his mental health because he needed to pull it together and stop being so emotional.

”I just miss you,” Harry tells her, it wasn’t a lie but it really wasn’t the full truth, there was so much more to it than what he was letting on but he could handle it on his own.

Lord knows he had enough time while he was sitting in this hotel room alone or had a flight on the private jet.

++

Harry felt like a car ran him over, twice, and then backed up over him.

He did as good as everyone expected him to do during the games in San Diego, he won all three of the games with too many strikeouts to count, and two home runs to get them scores.

Harry was able to shut his mind off during the games, all he was thinking about was his job, and what he needed to do to make sure that they won the games - that was it.

Afterwards, the creeping feelings that had been haunting him especially hard this past month or so wouldn’t wait very long to pop up again after the games.

He started demanding a flight home the night of the last game, everyone else always waited until the next day because traveling right after playing was near torture with the exhaustion.

Harry felt like death as he landed in New York City, his bones were heavy as if they weighed a thousand pounds each, his arm was sore from how many pitches he had to throw, and he hadn’t been sleeping well when he was away from YN and the baby.

His heart was a bit lighter as he opened the front door to their home, the smell of his favorite brownies hitting his nose, and a peel of bubbly, angelic baby giggles echoed through the hallway.

Harry needed to see them, he dropped his bag and didn’t care that his cologne bottle most likely just shattered inside because of how careless he was being.

No, he was making his way toward the smell and sounds, and when he found what he waas looking for - his stomach untwisted just the slightest and everything didn’t seem so bleak for a moment.

YN turns around, having been alerted to his entrance by his bag dropping, Easton was on her hip and had a spatula in his hand, gnawing on it happily.

”Who is that, East?” YN bounces him up and down, “Is that your daddy?”

Harry wants to cry tears of relief when Easton drops the spatula, letting it clatter onto the tile, and starts to cry.

He was the cutest little thing.

Whenever Harry got home from work, Easton would start to cry because he wanted him, and was sad like he just realized that he had been missing him all day and he was finally home with him.

”Oh my goodness,” YN hums as Easton wiggles, starting to reach out for him with grabbing hands, dramatic tears running down his face as his pouty bottom lip wobbles.

”No tears, bub,” Harry coos as he steps forward, taking Easton out of her arms, and giving him the biggest hug he can manage as he presses kisses to the side of his face, his hair, his nose, “I missed you so much. I hate being away from you, East, miss you every moment.”

YN is watching with a content smile, patiently waiting her turn as he blinks over at her, his voice still soft and raspy, “Hi mama.”

”Hi H,” YN whispers back, stepping forward to cup his jaw and bring their lips together in a kiss, her thumb rubbing the stubble of his jawline and her other squeezing his hip, “I missed you.”

Harry hates that he feels the lump in his throat, “I fuckin’ missed you so much. I can’t explain how much I hate being away from you and him. I am so grateful that you’re so good to me and East. You know that?”

One of YN’s love languages was definitely words of affirmation so to hear such nice compliments really did mean a lot to her because she didn’t always feel the most secure either.

It was a lot to have her husband traveling all the time, where if he wanted, there would be unlimited opportunities for him to make bad choices because there was not a shortage of men and women who would bed him without a second thought.

YN had complete and utter trust in him.

It wasn’t ever a real concern but when Harry was as gorgeous as he was, it was hard not to feel a bit of insecurity when people often let it be known how much they found him attractive.

”Thank you, H,” YN brings him in for another kiss, “Dinner is almost ready. Brownies are also baking in the oven. Easton was my little helper but was trying to get his chunky fingers in the raw batter which he had an attitude about when I told him ‘no’.”

”You better listen to your mama,” Harry hums at his son, munching at his neck until Easton is giggling and pulling at his curls to keep him close, he loved his father so much, “Be nice to mama, Easton Robin.”

YN reaches forward, “Go get a shower. Settle in a little bit.”

Harry passes Easton back but frowns, “Darling, I can take him and manage. You have had him for the last week.”

YN waves him off, “I got him for a few minutes longer. Get showered, dressed, then we can eat dinner, and cuddle. Okay?”

”Sounds like a dream,” Harry replies because it really does, all that he wants is to be able to hold them in his arms, and start filling this hole that starts to eat away at him every time he has to leave.`

++

After Harry showers, he tugs on his briefs, and sits on the edge of the bed.

He doesn’t know how he fell asleep like that but it seemed to happen nearly as soon as he plopped down on the plush of their bed because he hadn’t slept in nearly twenty-four hours, after an exhausting game and seven hours of travel.

The next time he wakes up, it’s completely dark in the bedroom, and he blinks his eyes open to see the alarm clock reading that it was three in the morning.

YN was fast asleep on her side of the bed, baby monitor on the side table, and Easton was sleeping in his nursery on his back with a binky halfway out of his mouth.

Harry squeezes his eyes shut, putting his fists to them for a moment as he grits his teeth, “Fuck fuck fuck.”

He gets out of bed, not wanting to disturb YN, she looked so fucking pretty while she slept and Harry was in disbelief of what a fucking idiot he was.

YN not only watched Easton for the past week, she managed everything else for their household, made Harry dinner and dessert, all for him to fall asleep.

She needs a break from the baby, YN should have gotten one last night after all her hard work, and Harry just went and fell asleep like a bloody teenager with no responsibilities.

He grabs the baby monitor so that YN won’t be woken up, hoping that she will sleep in for as long as possible in the morning, and Harry can take on baby duties.

Harry’s plan was to clean the house, the least he could do as an apology but everything was near spotless thanks to his wife, and when he went into the kitchen to clean the dishes from dinner.

There were none, YN had put all the leftovers away, wrapped the brownies, and cleaned all the pots and pans - as well as all of Easton’s bottles.

”Fuck me,” Harry grunts as he resists the urge to hit something, instead slamming his fists on the countertop, and staring at nothing as he feels the deep hole become bigger, “Such a fuck-up.”

Harry doesn’t even know what he can do to repay her, to make it up to her, and the mixture of his anxiety and depression had to be the gnarliest combination because they were kicking his ass.

His anxiety starts taking over and an intrusive thought starts to pop into his brain and he can’t shake it.

What if she leaves you?

What if she doesn’t think you’re a good enough father?

She does all this for you and you treat her like shit the moment you come home?

You don’t deserve her.

Harry’s throat tightens up, it feels hard to breathe for a few minutes as he tries taking slow, deep inhales before repeating the process to help try to regulate his breathing.

He had to make this up to her.

++

Harry manages Easton by himself, that wasn’t an issue, and he was even able to run out to grab YN’s favorite donuts from a few blocks down before she was up.

Harry was currently in the living room, laying on the floor with Easton as he played with these soft, big blocks, and smiled at his father with only two little teeth showing on his bottom gums.

”Morning, well afternoon,” YN laughs as she looks at the clock on the wall, it was nearly twelve and she was able to catch up on all the sleep she desperately needs, “You didn’t need to let me sleep for that long, H. I appreciate it though, felt super nice to be able to get re-energized.”

”It’s the least I could do,” Harry replies, the enthusiasm that was usually in his voice was missing, and he struggled to meet her eye because he was embarassed.

YN knows something is off as she sits down next to them, scooping Easton up and tucking him under her big shirt where he can excitedly start to nurse - he very begrudgingly used a bottle but it was always a bit more difficult to get him to eat with one.

”Are you sure you’re okay?” YN frowns as she rubs his knee, “You seem down. Did something happen?”

”I’m a piece of shit,” Harry chuckles without humor, throwing his hands up, “Isn’t it obvious? I leave you at home with the baby and then the minute I get home, I fall asleep and don’t do shit to help you. On top of that, you made dinner and I didn’t even eat it.”

YN’s frown turns into more of a scowl, “Harry, what has you talking like this? Did someone say something to you? I don’t like when you talk like that. You were exhausted! You were just away for a week, training and playing, and have so much other than that going on. Do you really think that I’m mad about that?”

“I’m mad about how I acted because it effects you,” Harry grits back, his anxiety and depression had a tendency to make him cranky in a way that he normally wouldn’t be, “It’s no excuse. You get no excuses. I need to do better.”

”You need to stop talking like that,” YN retorts as she stares back at him with a twitch of her brow, “Everything is fine. We are fine. Nothing is wrong. This is how our life looks sometimes and that’s okay. You are doing this to take care of us.”

“It feels pretty fuckin’ selfish right now,” Harry shakes his head, standing up and trying to hide the wince from how achey his muscles were, he should do a cold plunge but he’s not going to take anymore time for himself - he dosn’t deserve it.

“How is it selfish?” YN is getting frustrated, her leg shaking slightly but then she stops when she realizes that it’s jostling Easton and he whines in displeasure.

”I get to get a full night’s sleep in a luxury hotel room, you’re here.”

YN scoffs, licking over her teeth, “Yeah, Harry. It’s a massive hardship, living in a three million dollar home in the middle of the Upper East Side. I think I’ll survive.”

“That’s not the fuckin’ point,” Harry cracks his neck, his anxiety made his heart rate feel like he was constantly running a marathon, it was hard for him to keep his composure.

”Don’t talk to me like that,” YN raises her voice, moving to get up with Easton still suckling away, “This isn’t how you show appreciation, Harry. I’m just trying to have a conversation and you have an attitude.”

Harry knows that he’s just going to continue to dig himself a deeper pit than he’s already in if he keeps talking.

Most of the time, he did not feel like like a twenty-one year old despite his boyish looks but right now, he felt like he was acting his age and it wasn’t a good thing.

”Why don’t you take Easton and see your mom today,” YN offers, her voice is still tight but trying to keep it cordial as she brings Easton out from under her shirt.

He was blinking languidly, his lips smacking in satisfaction as his belly was full, and YN hands him over to Harry to take, “Yeah, I’ll get him ready and go.”

It was a good opportunity to give YN a break but he was honestly a bit surprised that she took him up on it or that she didn’t want to come with because when Harry came home, they tried to stay together as much as possible.

He does know that he’s acting like a complete dickhead which makes sense why she wasn’t dying to spend time with him right night, still it was just odd because it’s unlike her.

”Sounds good,” YN pulls out her phone, looking down and fingers flitting across the screen which was also a bit odd, how she was a distracted by it because it was unlike her just like her letting him go alone.

God, Harry was making a fucking mess, wasn’t he? +++++++++++++++++

It stuck out like a sore thumb when Harry was off.

Normally, he was the most easy-going, bubbly, funny person who stole most of the attention when he wasn’t even trying.

It was how he captured everyone’s interest whether it was his big grin that had his dimples showing deep in the pockets of his cheeks, the way he threw his head back and let out these low raspy chuckles, or just how he nodded attentively when someone else was talking.

So when he wasn’t feeling like himself, all those things that lit up rooms disappeared, and it was hard for him to socialize.

Harry was still beating himself up the entire ride outside of the city to his mother’s house, Easton was napping in the back and this would be a nice sleep before the excitement of Nana’s house.

Harry was replaying everything with YN, from the way he was sharp with her to get short with her when she did absolutely nothing to deserve that from him because she was so fucking good to him - all the time.

YN never complained about anything.

She never complained about being at home with the baby alone.

YN never tied to guilt Harry because he was away during the season so much.

It makes it so much worse that he’s not able to hold his shit together even just for YN, he didn’t want her to worry about his mental health, that’s the last thing she needed on her plate.

He was going to figure this out himself.

It wasn’t that he didn’t feel like he couldn’t talk to her, it was more that he knew she cares so much that it might upset her or make her worry when he’s on the road, all he wants for her is to focus on Easton and herself.

Harry normally loves going up to his mom’s, a little lake house that he had bought her with one of his first paychecks, despite how much she huffed and puffed, he knew that it was a dream of hers to live on the water.

It was the least he could do after she did so much to make his dreams come true.

However, despite Harry getting a decent amount of sleep, he felt bone tired and just drained was the best way to explain it - he felt like all the energy that he normally feels has been sucked clean out of him.

He wanted to turn the car around, go home, crawl into bed with YN and Easton, and not have to interact with anyone else for at least a week but that wasn’t possible with his schedule.

Harry should be enjoying his time right now.

They have an off week which meant that he had nearly two and a half weeks at home because the following week were games at their home stadium so he could be home every night.

Harry just couldn’t wait for this season to be over.

And that thought alone alarmed him because he fucking loved baseball, he loved being the best of the best, he loved all the recognition he got but right now his desire was lower than it’s been in a really long time.

When he pulls down the long driveway, a house sat back off the residential road where she had neighbors but there was a good amount of distance between the them to give privacy and seclusion.

He sees that there are multiple cars in the driveway which makes Harry groan because he didn’t realize that his mom was going to call over friends and family since he was coming to visit.

Anne did that sometimes, when Harry called saying that he’d be up, she would call aunts, uncles, relatives, and close friends to come for a barbecue, and it was the last thing he wanted right now.

He was already a bit peeved that his mother didn’t ask him first because he would have very clearly told her that he wasn’t in the mood to entertain people, to answer questions, and talk about baseball for a good five hours.

When Harry opens the back door, Easton’s already awake and smiling at his father with a gummy smile, his two bottom baby teeth made him look so adorable but he knew that more were going to popping through soon.

”Hi, sweetheart,” Harry hums softly as he unbuckles his baby, bringing him up into his arms and into a hug, kissing his temple, “I love you so much, you know that? M’only away so that you have everythin’ you’d ever want. Miss you every second-“

A smack comes heartily on his back, right on his throwing shoulder where the soreness is radiating like a motherfucker, and he has to grit his teeth to not curse and startle Easton.

”Buddy, how much did this ride cost ya?” His Uncle Chuck, his mom’s brother asks obnoxiously, “Saw these things were going for a hundred and some change?”

Harry takes a deep breath, his patience was wearing thin, and he had barely made it out of the car, “I don’t remember how much it cost.”

“That’s what being rich gets you, huh? Twenty-one with a fat bank account and no responsibilities. I would have loved to have a life like yours,” Chuck chortles as he leans up against said expensive SUV, beer in his hand.

“I have plenty of fuckin’ responsibilities,” Harry bites back, scolding himself for cursing in from of Easton, even if he was too young to understand, he tried not to make it a habit.

“Sure you do, bud,” His uncle laughs, clearly not catching onto Harry’s mood, “Last thing I’d want is a baby with everything that you have going on. Growing up too fast.”

“Luckily, it’s not your life,” Harry brushes him off, picking up Easton’s diaper bag on his free shoulder and hikes him up, “We’ll be in soon. Give us a minute.”

His uncle shrugs before staggering off, a drunken sway in his step as he stumbles back towards the house.

Harry buries his nose in Easton’s downy, fresh smelling wispy curls to steady his breathing, he feels a bit emotional as he talks to his son.

“M’sorry, East. Daddy doesn’t feel good right now,” Harry swallows hard, squeezing his eyes shut, “I just have to pull it together. God, I love you. My baby.”

Harry gives himself another minute of grounding before taking a deep exhale and shutting the door, walking towards the house.

Everyone was on the back patio, sipping on drinks, and cheering when they saw him.

Dread settles heavy in Harry’s stomach as his family members as they start asking him about his games, wanting to recap every play he’s made, his sponsorships and his much he’s getting paid.

Harry’s trying to keep up the conversation but all he can think about is how much he didn’t want to be there, and he should have just taken Easton to the park or something more low-key.

When he bumps into his mom in the kitchen, Anne is prepping a salad and smiles back at her son - unaware of his mood.

“Isn’t this fun, hun?” Anne asks happily, sprinkling in some spices as she hums.

“Why couldn’t it have just been us? I have to be around people all the time and I thought it was just going to be you. Now I have to entertain all of them,” Harry’s tone definitely takes her aback as she puts down the tongs she was using.

“Usually you love when everyone’s here, I don’t understand,” Anne’s smile drops, wiping her hands on the dishrag.

“Does anybody ever consider that I don’t love talking about baseball every second of the day or how much money is in my bank account?” Harry’s tone is venomous and resentful, unfairly harsh on his mom when she hadn’t tried to upset him.

“Harr-“ Anne begins to apologize, albeit, a bit confused.

“Easton’s almost ready for a nap,” He cuts her off as he checks his watch, it didn’t really matter what time it was, he was done.

“My bedroom-“

“No, I’m going home,” Harry shakes his head, turning on his heel. He has the decency to look back and say, “Sorry, mom. I just can’t be here.”

Easton was currently being held by his Aunt Jane, he was starting to fuss because he had a bottle not too long ago and he was starting to get cranky.

“Alright, we’re going to head out. East needs his nap,” Harry announces, hiking on the diaper bag, and starting to walk over.

“Oh, we barely see him! Just a few more minutes with this little one. You can hold off his nap for a little!” His Aunt Jane jokingly holds him tighter for a minute and nothing right now is funny to Harry.

Harry doesn’t get loud but his voice gets steely as he reaches down and scoops Easton up from her lap, “Don’t tell me how to take care of my baby, understood?”

His poor aunt is taken aback, just like his mom, and nods.

Harry storms out without another glance back, ignoring the whispers about how odd he was acting and rude.

When he straps Easton in, the dark bubble in belly subsides for a moment- like sun breaking through storm clouds.

“Daaa,” Easton coos, happy but tired, tucking his binky back between his lips.

“Good job, baby,” Harry sniffles, blinking up towards the sky to keep the tears away, “Fuck, get it together.”

Harry had to pepper at least ten kisses on Easton’s warm, sleepy face before he’s able to close the door and get in the driver’s seat.

Harry presses on the console touch screen, calling YN, and he frowns when it goes straight to voicemail which was very unlike her.

He tries again.

Voicemail.

He pulls out his phone, trying to check her location, and it hasn’t updated in the past hour - it was just unusual for her phone to die, always on standby but he tries not to worry.

YN was probably still very pissed off at him, if he was to bet, she put her phone on ‘do not disturb’ so that she could take a well deserved nap and not be bothered.

Harry squeezes the steering wheel, reminding himself once again, “Pull yourself together.”

But in the back of his mind, an anxious thought pops in, well multiple.

What is YN is leaving you?

What if she’s sick of not having you around as much as other wives have their husbands?

First time you see her in a week and you treat her like shit. You really think she’ll stay?

Harry has never once thought like that, even when they’ve gotten in serious fights but god damn, he couldn’t stop his mind from going a million miles a minute, and it felt like shit.

Nothing was wrong.

Everything felt like it’s crumbling.

[vicolette]

Not Needed !

– A/N : is the confetti bothering you king

– Warnings : English isn’t my first language, uses of y/n, mutism/muteness, uses of god, not proofread

"Hi. Sorry that I suddenly approached."

Hector really, really, didn't know why he was doing this. This seemed like some typical dare that his friends would tell him, or maybe he would get paid in order to prank you, but he was dead serious about this.

You stood right in front of him – the pretty girl that was in the same class as him, yet he never had the guts to approach you. Your little friend group also wasn't associated with him or his best buddies in any way, so he had to be bold.

Easier said than done.

Now, as he stood right in front of you in the middle of the hallway near the college's giant cafeteria, Hector found himself stuck in a situation of dilemma. Either he asks what the previous lesson was about, since he was busy with the recent football matches, or he just asks you out.

"Uhm… I wanted to ask, if you wanted to go on a date with me?" This was way too straightforward and he hated himself for it, but it wasn’t necessarily that which made him look stupid. No, it was the fact that he was asking you if you wanted to enjoy some time with.

Because why is it, that he could go into any club with his friends or teammates and flirt with every single girl there, without ever even stuttering once? But the very moment when he sees you, his mind goes blank?

After hours of relentless teasing from his friends, Lamine had suggested that he should just go for it. "The worst she can say is no."

Meanwhile, Pau was a tiny bit more helpful – saying that his older sister liked it when men were more honest and respectful than just flirting. The advice was needed, especially when Hector was still too embarrassed to do much about the situation.

However, as he saw how you were unable to respond, he got a bit worried.

Literally.

Your lips parted open and were then closed, again. For the fourth time now, and it hadn’t even been a minute. Even though Hector would respect your shyness, he was slowly starting to get frustrated.

"If you don’t wanna, just say so." He shrugged his shoulders and tried his absolute best not to turn around and vent to his friends, who were impatiently and noisily waiting in the cafeteria. Nonetheless, Hector could only watch as you moved your hands in a weird way.

"Wait, are you-"

All of a sudden, it clicked.

"- are you mute?"

A nod was all it took for him bury his face in his hands, muttering his repeated apology rapidly as he felt embarrassment wash over him. Hector couldn’t believe that he had just now discovered that you were incapable of speaking, when he had thought that you were just ignoring him on purpose.

However, as he saw you hesitantly approach him with a hand on his shoulder, showing him a thumbs up and an awkward smile on your face, he could only sigh.

"I'm so sorry, I should've known." Hector mumbled under his breath, yet the sight of seeing how apologetic he was over a common mistake made you grin, shaking your head while you silently comforted him, even though he should be comforting you, he thought. "I didn’t think- oh my god."

After a long silence, which mainly consisted of Hector speaking nonsense while you tried to get him to relax, he had finally calmed down and considered himself an idiot, before he saw how you took a step back showed him a thumbs up in agreement. He raised an eyebrow, then raised his voice instead.

"You wanna go on a date with me?" Your enthusiasm was strong, although you slightly hesitated after thinking for a while – now that he knew that you were unable to talk, would he still be interested in you?

The answer was not needed; he beamed with excitement, a huge smile on his face after he had let out a sigh of relief, with his hand dramatically raised and placed on his chest before he began to speak. "So, uh… are you free on Saturday?"

It was a mutual understanding between the two of you, with him suggesting some things and letting you type on your phone, while you mostly just either nodded your head or looked at him confused. Even though he was still unfamiliar with the situation of being mute, Hector found himself in peace with you.

Especially when you looked at him like he was a genius for requesting to go to an aquarium, or when you raised an eyebrow and shook your head when he had offered to pick you up, claiming on your phone that you could walk the way.

"So, five p.m.?" With yet another nod, Hector smiled at the vision and lightly chuckled, before he promoted the idea of walking you back to your friends. The walk to the cafeteria was quiet, yet occupied with shy smiles and a quiet goodbye from Hector's side.

Once he had arrived at the table, where he had previously been sitting with his friends, he slumped into your seat and ran a hand over his hair, glaring at Lamine, who was looking rather suspicious.

"She's mute." Somehow, somewhat, Pau only raised an eyebrow and Lamine shrugged his shoulders, making Hector look dumbfounded. Just then, Lamine had realized that he didn’t know, gasping as he had to stifle his laughter.

"You didn’t know?"

"You knew?!"

– A/N : my sister found out about my acc and is reading this🥀 also do you say pm or p.m.

[sectumsempraaa]

Being coworkers w/ the Slytherin boys (headcanons)

feat. Draco, Mattheo, Theo, Blaise, Lorenzo

this one’s for the working folks bc you KNOW these guys would make work so much more fun!! :)

Draco:

- extremely punctual

- judges you for how you write emails

- picks you up in his car before your shift every day

- has a kettle plugged in AT his desk for maximum tea drinking

- will often leave you a cup on your desk too without you asking for it

- writes 95% of paperwork by hand

- kisses ass to your boss but vents to you later about how much he hates them

- overdresses even on casual fridays

- takes his lunch break with you every day and has your meals delivered (doesnt even ask what you want, he’s just good at this)

- gets turned on when you sit on his desk and look down at him

Mattheo:

- consistently 5-10 minutes late but everyone’s just kinda used to it

- takes mass transportation bc he keeps failing his drivers test

- stops to get you both coffee before work (thats why he’s late!!)

- will respond to emails you’re too scared to answer

- similarly will pick up the phone when you don’t want to

- office pranks galore with this guy

- calls you from his desk (it’s next to yours) to ask you to meet him somewhere so y’all can makeout

- also calls you when he sees someone he KNOWS you hate trying to talk to you at your desk to get you out of it

- post-shift treat several times a week

- most likely to pleasure you from under your desk 🤭

Theo:

- gets distracted easily and falls behind on work

- is so quiet no one really even knows he’s there

- bribes the office manager into making you his secret santa

- has a private email thread between the two of you that goes on and on all day with complete nonsense and memes

- visits your cubicle and sits there for like an hour at a time

- holds your hand under the table during meetings

- “ugh can we go home now” “theo we haven’t even clocked in yet”

- hacks the system to change the schedule around so you always have the same shifts

- cooks your lunches at home and brings them to work for you

- 100% takes naps under his desk when you’re out sick and he’s alone/bored

Blaise:

- gets along with everyone

- often leads meetings and presentations bc everyone trusts him

- winks at you from across the office several times a day

- has everything in his desk from stain remover to first aid kit to microwaveable ramen

- checks each paycheck (and yours) to make sure y’all get paid RIGHT

- hugs you from behind your chair like 1000 times a day (ft. neck kisses)

- flies paper cranes into your cubicle with cheesey pick up lines

- knows how to get your fav snacks from the vending machine without paying

- will randomly do some of your tasks bc he’s so ahead on his

- LOVES a business trip and gets you two ALL the travel upgrades

Lorenzo:

- does not give a fuck about getting anything done

- but somehow is pretty much always caught up/in good standing

- does the bare minimum but makes up for it by being extremely charming

- faxes you (yes, faxes) memes when he is extra bored

- steals people’s things off their desk if he doesn’t like them

- never abides by the dress code

- lies to your boss to get you out of meetings and leave work early

- convinces you to call out with him so you can spend the day together

- has a keycard that opens every door in the building, don’t ask how he got it

- switches nametags/IDs with you and thinks its the funniest thing in the world

- headphones in 24/7

ALL of them love to say “if you ever leave i have to quit too. i can’t work here without you” and they MEAN it!!

[multiheadcanons]

TF2 MERCS IN THE ANIMAL CARE INDUSTRY BECAUSE WORK HAS BEEN MAKING ME SAD

scout: scout is new to the industry. a year at most. the fastest bather you could find in town. doesn’t want to start his own business, so works for a mom and pop shop. personality hire, but he’s getting better and better every day. has no interest in learning how to groom, though. he doesn’t have the right eye to make an animal look good.

soldier: soldier is more likely to be an owner of a very blank salon that he rents out booths for individual groomers. only takes enough from the money pool to maintain the building. doesn’t really care what goes on otherwise. his tenants LOVE him, because any issue is solved within 48 hours and they can do whatever they want as long as they take care of the place. handles sharpening because he knows the sharpener.

pyro: runs a luxury doggy daycare; and is VERY serious about the job. is up almost 24 hours a day during holiday seasons taking care of up to 30 dogs a day. has a handful of full time, live in employees, but they get so nervous when they’re not there they just stay at the daycare all day, watching. loves their employees. pays like, double the average wage as a start, because pyro expects nonstop work. consistent raises and bonuses, AND pizza parties.

engineer: a man of many hats. is actually a farrier. but if you got a sheep that needs shearing or something that needs to be tinkered with or a blade that needs sharpening or a dog that just needs a bath and nail trim he’s also your man. is the ONLY LICENSED AND CERTIFIED SHARPENER IN THREE FUCKING STATES. busy, busy man. soldier sends wealthy business and hearty workers his way in exchange for a monthly sharpening for his little shop. they’re friends, and soldier has always been a man of his word, so of course he agreed.

heavy: specializes in extra large dogs. 70 pound minimum to book with him. he runs a one on one fear free grooming experience called “Giant Spaw For Giant Dogs”. his website to book an appointment is full of pictures of him holding these massive dogs like they’re puppies. he’s smiling so wide in each picture. heavy loves dogs. has numerous certifications. is dog cpr certified. regularly attends dog shows. his salon is BEAUTIFUL. sleek, modern, lavender and navy theme. you enter and the reception area smells… so good. charges an arm and a leg though. but he sends you like… pictures of your dog on photoshopped backgrounds. it’s so worth it, his clientele is DEVOTED to him. one time he got sick and had to cancel his appointments and one of his clients broke down on him, praying for his health over the phone.

demo: demo is the best worker in the state, and he cycles through salons and clinics often based on where he’s needed. every business wants him so bad when they don’t have him. is getting paid VERY well to do what he does best. enjoys the process of bathing a dog without the stress of the haircut. fast, efficient, able to juggle multiple groomers as ONE bather. he’s a vital asset to any team he’s with, and he doesn’t even need the money. also likes working kennel. will help pyro during the holiday season for a break.

spy: i have two ideas. spy either has like, celebrity clientele, or spy exclusively grooms cats. requires his clients on a monthly schedule either way. his salon is also one on one quiet luxury pet care. brown and cream colored salon. never remembers to take pictures of his work. to book with him requires prepayment. website is sleek, and his portfolio is sorted by breed. doesn’t ask what anyone wants done on their pet, just does what he thinks is best. they always come out stellar. even his worst grooms are westminster worthy. has a wall of pet colognes and finishing sprays.

sniper: sniper is a mobile groomer and his business is called “Come Wash My Dog”. fast, efficient. doesn’t do anything fancy on any dog, and charges accordingly. does keep bows and bandanas to put on his favorite clients. likes terriers. occasionally gets caught up talking to his clients. it’s like his human interaction for the day. don’t come up to him making any requests, he is very frank that he is not one of them fancy groomers. he gives the dogs a trim if he can. that’s why his prices are so low.

medic: see, medic might make a really bad and unethical human doctor. but i think he’d make a phenomenal avian veterinarian. i think if medic became a veterinarian he would be a much different, much more ethically fulfilled man. known for his passion and dedication to the job. practically sleeps in his office so he is on call, at all times. probably wouldn’t have interest in tending to anything past the birds, but because he is known as one of three exotic vets in the state he’ll occasionally see reptiles and rodents. only has passing thoughts of joining an illegal pet trade, but he loves his job so much. he couldn’t forgive himself if he squandered it. keeps every feather that falls off his clients, and keeps them in organized files. when a client dies, he’ll give them the feathers and keep one for his clinic’s gallery wall. has a clinic cat because he thinks the irony’s funny. much more at peace with himself. at his worst he’s like house but with birds and without the drug addiction.

[ravs6709]

I'd Chase You To The End Of The World - Queerplatonic Shiguang

word count: 2.4k words

or read on ao3 here!

prompt for @sgdlraction!!! ty for this opportunity, and ty to no_good_skyla on twitter for the donation and providing me with the wonderful wonderful prompt that is sentinel/guide shiguang (and for letting me qpr them <3)

its also a sorta vague hunter-dungeon au, but no powers or ranks or anything its just people pew pew monsters with guns. only magic-y stuff is the sentinel/guide stuff

warnings: injuries, and also while it is a qpr i do make them kiss because i felt like it (warning in case someone didnt want to read qpr with kiss)

Anyways, enjoy!

~•~•~•~•~•

Lu Guang took a deep breath, focusing on the target. Staring at where he wanted to shoot, he brought his arm up, then pulled the trigger three times. None of them hit the bullseye, but they seemed to all be nearby. Not perfect. But he was doing better. Faster, too. Consistency and speed would be more valuable than a rare shot. He exhaled, letting the tension ease out of himself. His phone rang, and just like that, he tensed again.

The caller started speaking the instant he pressed answer. “Guang Guang, where are you?” Cheng Xiaoshi asked, voice low. If Lu Guang paid close attention, he could sense a hint of breathlessness.

“You finished the raid earlier than expected,” he replied, checking his watch. An hour and a half early, to be precise. “I’ll be there within ten minutes.”

“Weird, you’re always home by the time I return, like you sit around and wait.”

“I was doing a workout,” he said, silently putting away the gun.

“Working out? That’s new.”

“It’s just something I’ve picked up on doing while you’re away.”

Cheng Xiaoshi laughed. “Lu Guang, have you been lonely without me?”

He scoffed, picking up his bag. “I’m leaving now. Physical condition?”

Cheng Xiaoshi hummed, so Lu Guang made sure to walk at a faster than normal pace, since that man had a tendency to downplay serious injuries. The one consolation was that the raid had ended quickly (and as a success, otherwise they would’ve been having a very different conversion), so there shouldn’t be too many of them.

“I’m fine enough,” he replied. “But it would be real nice if my Guide could nurse me back to health—”

Lu Guang hung up on him, then broke into a sprint. He made it back to the main site, to their shared bedroom.

Cheng Xiaoshi murmured a greeting, slumped on the couch. Some scratches on his face, but no clearly visible wound. “Took you six minutes and thirty seven seconds.”

“Did you really time me?” Lu Guang asked, picking up the first-aid kit from its designated shelf.

He grumbled, not turning to face him. Clear lack of energy. “Clock’s ticking too loud. Want my Guide.”

Lu Guang sighed, putting the kit back down. While he would have preferred to do a physical examination first, it was clear that guiding him was the bigger priority. Cheng Xiaoshi was already at the point of having to rely on counting the seconds of the clock in order to ground himself. Worse than what he’d thought while over the phone.

He sat down on the couch, pulling the Sentinel into his lap, shuffling him into a more comfortable position. He took a hold of his wrist, feeling the rapid pulse, the faint trembling of his arm, the way his skin had gone colder as his body had begun to focus on staying conscious rather than warm.

“Relax,” he whispered, planting a kiss under his ear, “Open your mind for me.”

Cheng Xiaoshi let out a small noise, tense in his lap, but so very pliant.

Lu Guang reached into his mind, soothing him, delving deeper to a colourful, tangled bundle where all of Cheng Xiaoshi’s senses had conjoined. All of them intertwined with one another, each sense feeding to overstimulate the other. He picked apart the bundle, separating each sense, the tension quietly easing. He felt his hand get squeezed, Cheng Xiaoshi turning his head just enough to smile at him.

Sometimes, he still couldn’t believe that he had something like this. He’d once worked as a freelance Guide, unbonded and simply using his ability to assist any random Sentinel, for no other reason other than the fact that this was his role. He remembered just over a year ago, being assigned to Cheng Xiaoshi, a late-bloomer. A new Sentinel who had shown lots of promise, but due to being newly awakened plus a late-bloomer, he lacked control, and needed a steady Guide to help him manage his senses.

But here he was now: sticking with that same Sentinel for a year when the previous record he had ever stayed was just under three months, actually bonding to one within seven, harboring this unfamiliar yet all-consuming desire to hold someone close for the rest of his life, being determined to ensure their safety and protect their smile.

Cheng Xiaoshi’s skin warmed back to its normal pleasant temperature as the seconds passed. Lu Guang kissed his cheek for no reason other than to hear him sigh. He couldn’t tell whether the Sentinel had a strong affinity for touch, or if it was due to his denomination, but either way, Lu Guang was more than willing to give him what he wanted. Of course, they couldn’t just lay there forever, so he pulled him to sit up.

“Physical check now,” he whispered, hand sliding to remove his clothes.

Cheng Xiaoshi grumbled, hands grabbing at him. “Can’t we keep cuddling? I’m fine.”

Lu Guang batted them away. “No.”

No blood, and his old wounds hadn’t reopened either, though the large purple blotch on his shoulder had him frowning.

“Got tackled by a monster,” Cheng Xiaoshi explained. “Looks worse than it feels. I wanna cuddle more, please.”

“No,” he repeated, getting up. He leaned down to press a placating kiss on the man’s pitiful pout. He grabbed an ice pack, wrapping it in a cloth and handing it to him. “You relax and keep that there. I’m going to make dinner. And no— you’re not allowed to come help me.”

“Hey, Lu Guang?” Cheng Xiaoshi called out as he turned to the kitchen.

He looked over his shoulder.

“If you’re working out now, does that mean I'll get a view of your new suuuper sexy back muscles?”

“Idiot,” Lu Guang huffed, and walked into the kitchen.

 ~•~•~•~•~•

“So, this is what you’ve been up to recently?”

Lu Guang flinched at the voice, his whole body jerking right as he had pulled the trigger, wildly missing the target.

“Qiao Ling-jie,” he said, turning to her.

“Cheng Xiaoshi said he thought you’d been up to something weird, but I wasn’t expecting this,” she said, walking closer to him.

“I’m just… training.”

“Obviously, I can see that much,” she said with a roll of her eyes. “Are you planning on joining the raids?”

He nodded. “Don’t tell him anything yet.”

“Huh?” she raised an eyebrow. “It’s legal now for Guides to enter raids. And even if it weren’t, you know he doesn’t view you in such a shitty way.”

Up until around a year and a half ago, it had been strictly illegal for a Guide to join a raid. Many viewed Guides as ones who should devote their entire existence to supporting Sentinels. Guide them, treat their physical injuries, then send the Sentinels (and the occasional Neutral)  out to fight again. Guides were viewed as too weak to fight, unlike a Sentinel who had enhanced senses. They were also seen as too valuable to go into a fight. But after Guides argued that a Sentinel would be useless once dropped in a dungeon if they didn’t have a Guide to heal them quickly rather than hoping someone could drag them back, the law eventually changed.

Lu Guang himself was content with staying out of the front lines, but raid after raid of seeing Cheng Xiaoshi return to him bloody and near death made him anxious. What if Cheng Xiaoshi had his own drop, and Lu Guang wasn’t there to save him?

“Qiao Ling-jie, “ he said, “Cheng Xiaoshi would stop me from joining.”

She huffed, throwing her hands up in the air. “This is my brother we’re talking about, you seriously think that he would—”

“As a Neutral, there are things you wouldn’t understand,” he said, cutting her off. “I’m not viewed as weak, but a bonded Sentinel is naturally protective of his Guide.”

The words his Guide came out smoothly from his tongue, a pang of disbelief hitting him that he was Cheng Xiaoshi’s Guide, that they were bonded.

Qiao Ling straightened. “Sure, I’m a Neutral, so I don’t have a full understanding of that kind of thing, but you know he’ll have to know eventually, right? If you just show up one day, he’ll have way more questions.”

“...I know.”

She sighed, picking up a gun from the nearest rack. “Best I can do is at least make sure you don’t get yourself hurt in the process. Watch and learn.” She aimed quickly and fired, hitting right at the center.

He nodded, impressed, even though he knew that Qiao Ling had been one of the Neutrals who would join some of the raids as a backup fighter. No enhanced senses like a Sentinel, but no risk of a drop either. He could learn a lot, to shoot like her.

 ~•~•~•~•~•

The second hand of the clock ticked loudly. Lu Guang checked his watch. 00:05. Cheng Xiaoshi wasn’t back yet, even though the estimated return time was 23:00. Delays were normal, he told himself. It wouldn't be the first time. That didn’t stop his heart from pacing twice within a second. It didn't stop him from grabbing the gun he'd kept hidden away, or from slinging the travel bag with medical supplies onto his back either.

He sprinted to the gate, and into the dungeon, seeking out the heartbeat of his Sentinel. Immediately, he had to shield his eyes, the scenery blindingly bright. He tried to pinpoint the direction of where to go, but the sound of birds screeching kept disrupting his focus.

No wonder why they were struggling. A Neutral would find this setting hell, let alone a Sentinel.

Lu Guang closed his eyes, feeling for Cheng Xiaoshi’s heartbeat again, then broke into a sprint. Nothing would stop him. He didn't care what got in his way, he thought as he reflexively shot at one of the screeching birds. He shot at a few more, the heartbeat louder in his ears, the stench of blood growing stronger.

After a while, he made it towards the other end of the dungeon, where a giant bird was soaring through the air, and various Sentinels were hiding under the trees, bloody, some clutching their heads as they tried to resist their drop. Numerous Sentinels, but not the one he was looking for…

A gunshot rang through the air, missing the bird. Lu Guang dashed to the origin of that shot. Cheng Xiaoshi had draped himself across a fragile tree branch, arm trembling as he held up his gun with his non-dominant hand. A large feather was lodged in his right shoulder.

Lu Guang resisted the urge to scream for him, avoiding the risk of losing concentration. Instead, he scaled the tree too, one foot digging into a crevice, the other hanging in the air as he reached for Cheng Xiaoshi.

“Cheng Xiaoshi,” he called out quietly, feeling for the nearest patch of bare skin, the spot between his pants and his socks.

He felt him tense under his fingers, only for it to immediately ease out.

“Lu Guang,” he whispered, voice raspy. “What are you doing here?”

“I'm here for you,” he said sincerely, hand sliding up to grasp his thigh for better purchase. “Come down from there.”

“The dungeon boss—”

“It's just flying aimlessly. You attacking now by yourself won't kill it, and will only anger it more.”

Cheng Xiaoshi let out a sound of protest, but slowly made his way down the tree. It wasn't easy, since the feather had rendered his right arm unusable, but Lu Guang was at least able to bring him down to a sturdier branch.

“Your mind?” Lu Guang questioned.

“I'm fine,” said Cheng Xiaoshi, not to his surprise. “You should go guide someone else.”

He reached into his bag, pulling out a spare cloth. He took out the hardened feather, tying the wound. Fortunately, other than the feather, he didn't have any other critical injuries. Still, he reached into his bag and pulled out two blue crystals.

Cheng Xiaoshi's eyes widened. “We don't need to use them. I'll be okay.”

“No,” he bit out. “Don't be stupid, I told you, neither you nor I could handle that bird.”

“But if you guide some of the other—”

“I don’t have it in me to guide that many,” he said, which wasn't really a lie.

He used to guide more people back when he wasn’t bonded and he was paid for it. Even if he wasn't out of practice now, making his way took out plenty of his energy too.

“Cheng Xiaoshi,” he said, stroking his bloodied cheek, wiping it with a cloth. Desperation pooled in his stomach, burning hot. “Let's go home, and we can get the higher ups to send in some Neutrals and Guides, okay?”

He placed a crystal into Cheng Xiaoshi's hand. Thankfully, he activated it, and Lu Guang used his own, teleporting them out of the dungeon safely. He answered the questions they'd received, informing them the sensory dangers, the terrain, and where to go. Once that was done, Lu Guang carried Cheng Xiaoshi to their room, and started treating his wounds.

“S'this why you've been working out?” Cheng Xiaoshi mumbled, leaning into him.

Just a little bit of physical contact, and he was already showing his fatigue. As he'd thought, they would've never been able to beat the dungeon boss.

“Yes,” Lu Guang whispered, not wanting to be grating on his ears. “It's a good thing I came today.”

“Would've been fine,” he grumbled in reply.

“No you wouldn't, idiot.” He cleaned up the wound, wrapping it in gauze.

“And what if you got in danger?”

“I'd rather that than you being in danger while I just sit around.”

“You care that much?” The words were teasing, a question that Cheng Xiaoshi had asked numerous times. But this time, the tone was a hushed whisper, soft and vulnerable.

Lu Guang kissed him on the forehead. “I do.”

He smiled, huge and goofy. “Then let’s work together. But since I’m the Sentinel, I gotta protect you since I have the better senses, okay?”

“Okay,” he agreed.

But Lu Guang knew he would do anything to protect Cheng Xiaoshi.

 ~•~•~•~•~•

if anyone wants to be added to a link click taglist, just let me know!!!

[whims1ckle]

Please Hurry Leave Me I Can't Breathe | sfw | tordedd | oneshot

" Tord's abandonment issues are acting up again. "

helloo im going to post these on tumblr now you can read it here or below the cut

Tord perched on the edge of Edd’s bed, biting his nails down to distract himself from the dread that consumed him. It had been twelve minutes since his mouth had betrayed him again. Wonky. What kind of word was that? What kind of person said that about a drawing their boyfriend had poured hours into?

Tord, apparently.

Edd hunched over his drawing tablet. Maybe he was protecting his work from further ridicule. Tord stared at the familiar constellation of beauty marks on the back of Edd's neck. Edd was full of pretty, delightful things such as those that Tord felt would be better off without him.

His brain repeated the same phrases over and over, like a broken record: He's going to leave you. He’s realized how shitty you are. He’s realized you’re worthless. The thought seemed to feel more truthful each time his mind reiterated it. 

"Edd?" His voice came out weak.

“Hm?” Again, Edd didn’t turn around. He just gave that little hum. Tord knew that hum. It was the one that meant he was angry, but just trying to be polite. Tord paid close attention to those little tells that could indicate someone was about to leave. He hated that he had to analyze everything like that.

“Are you mad at me?”

“No,” Edd said. His voice was more distant than angry, but distance could be anger in disguise, right? Tord couldn’t shake the feeling that Edd was about to cut him off. He left his spot on the bed and paced the familiar route; bed to window, window to bed, again and again. 

"You are. You're mad."

"I'm not mad."

Polite lies, Tord decided. "You are. I can tell. I shouldn't have said that, it was stupid, I didn't mean anything by it-"

"Tord."

"I know you care about your drawings, I know that, and I was just trying to be funny, but I'm not funny-”

"Stop."

Tord felt like he was floating above his body, like he always did when he was stressed. He despised that feeling. But Edd’s firm voice briefly brought him back down to Earth. Edd turned around. He just looked concerned, which was worse than angry, because it meant he saw what a mess Tord was. 

“I’m not mad,” he said again. “I was just focused.” 

"You're going to break up with me,” Tord blurted. 

Edd furrowed his brow. "What? No, I-"

"So I'm breaking up with you first."

The relief was immediate, even though he didn't want this. God, he didn't want this. But at least this way, he could pretend it was his choice. At least this way, he could walk away with some vague sense of dignity. 

"Tord, what?"

"I can't just keep waiting for you to realize that I fucking suck!"

"Tord-"

"No! It's better this way. It's, uh, cleaner. You don't have to feel bad about it, and neither do I-"

"I do feel bad about it,” Edd interrupted with a hint of indignance. “And I've got a feeling you do too."

Tord shook his head. "It doesn't matter anymore. Everyone leaves me, you will too, and I need to... protect myself.” He sat back down on Edd’s bed with a sigh. 

"I'm not going to leave you. Would you please stop talking like that?"

"You think that now," Tord said, and his voice was barely being held together, "but what about when I mess up again? When I get jealous, when I take something out on you?"

"I won't leave." 

"You should. You fucking should. Everyone else does."

The words hurt to say, but they were true, weren't they? His distant parents, friends who'd grown tired of his intensity, partners who had been overwhelmed by his clinginess. The pattern of abandonment felt like the only consistency in his life. 

"Do you want me to leave you?" Edd asked. Tord couldn’t determine whether there was anger in his voice.

"No,” Tord said.

"Then stop trying to make me,” Edd said bitterly. 

As if he had that much power. As if his self-destruction was a choice instead of a reflex. Still, it occurred to him that maybe Edd was being honest. Why would he be so vehement if he was lying? Well, maybe some elaborate plot was forcing him to?

No. Edd wouldn’t do that to him.

Tord loved Edd, and he trusted him, or at least he tried to. Maybe he should take his word for it.

"I'm sorry,” he said after a moment. “I'm just scared. I'm so fucking scared you'll realize I’m bad."

Edd sat next to Tord, gently placing his hand over Tord’s. “Even if you were bad, I wouldn’t leave you. I’m never leaving you.”

"Why?" Tord asked in genuine confusion. 

Edd shrugged. "I guess because I love you."

People said those words to him sometimes, but it always came with the insinuated understanding that it was conditional and fickle. The way Edd said it, though, felt wholehearted. It comforted him slightly. 

"But are you sure I'm worth it?"

"You are worth it,” Edd said. “You're worth staying for. I know you don't believe it yourself. I don't care."

Tord collapsed into sobs and fell into Edd. He caught him, wrapping his arms around him and holding him tightly as he bawled. 

"I'm sss-sorry," Tord choked out. "I'm r-really sorry. I didn't mean- I was just so scared and I thought-"

"I know," Edd said softly. "I don't really get it, but I know you were scared. And I probably should’ve noticed sooner."

"I- It's not your fault. It's not. This is just... that’s how my brain works sometimes. Sorry."

"I know. I know, it’s okay." 

They stayed wrapped around each other until Tord's breathing evened out. Tord was initially rigid, anxious and vigilant. He slowly melted into Edd as he ran his fingers through Tord’s hair, occasionally peppering soft kisses on his forehead. 

"You're not going to leave?” Tord asked again.

"No,” Edd replied. “I'm not."

"You're sure?” 

“Yeah.” 

[fuck-customers]

I'm sorry this isn't exactly what this blog is for, but I was hoping it could slide. I have something at work that I'd like the opinions of mods and followers, if possible please.

I was wondering if I should ask for/pursue a promotion to store lead, as several people in my life, including friends, family, and a very persistent (annoying) coworker, have been pressuring me to do so. But I have several cons and pros about it. And since all the people in my life are blindly telling me to apply to be a lead, they won't listen to what my concerns are and say that I'm just being stubborn and difficult without listening to why I'm hesitating. So here's why

Pros:

•it would look good on my resume

•get paid $2 more per hour

•I'd get paid for training. Yay

•it may force me to get better at responsibility, as I'd be in charge of keys and codes

•I'd get slightly more hours per week (more on that below)

•I would get to freely move around the store as I'm doing my tasks vs. being trapped at the register area as I've currently been, which is great for me personally, because I hate being trapped at one station

•I may be able to fix some things around the store that have been driving me nuts as a result of being free to move around (such as changing the godawful music)

•it would probably be a needed confidence booster

•I have several ideas of things we could and should be doing that would greatly improve the store and maybe my manager would actually listen to a lead vs. a regular employee, as she currently refuses to listen to my suggestions (which, for the record, are things like "hey maybe we should put price tags on the products" not only does she refuse to listen, she actively goes out of her way to undo the work I do and tear down price tags/signs)

Cons:

•store leads ≠ full time and current leads get the same amount of hours that I do, give or take 3 hours or so (for example, this current week I have 9 hours, the lead who has been pressuring me to become a lead has 10 hours, and other leads have between 10-15 hours) I would already be a lead if it was a full-time position, but that will not happen. I'd even consider it if there was a significant increase in hours while still being part-time. 1-3 hours more is not an increase in my opinion

•the store is severely understaffed by design and leads have to do several tasks alone at once, such as: run the service department alone, unlock anything customers need throughout the store, fill online orders, backup the cashier when needed (the only other employee in the store) get yelled at by angry customers who demand a manager and do a daily checklist from the store manager that consists of 20 or so tasks to do in a 3 hour shift.

•store leads have nearly all of the responsibilities of the store manager, except they can't hire or fire anyone and they get paid less than half of what the store manager gets paid while having to do all of the same tasks, minus the fun ones (hiring/firing people)

•there are many signs that the company may shut down in the near future, but the company and my store manager are pretending like everything is fine and refuse to discuss it with employees

•leads are also expected to go to the bank for cash deposits for the store/to get change, etc. and I do not have my own car or license (which is not something I want to mention to my manager, as I'm required to have reliable transportation to work there, I just don't have to specify whose transportation it is) and that is a job requirement of a lead that I straight up cannot do. And the public transport in my city is lackluster and taking the bus to and from the bank would easily be an hour long trip or more, when it takes someone with their own car 15-20 minutes.

•I have a very bad memory and I am not confident that I could remember all of the procedures and passcodes that managers are required to remember. I could technically write it down, but I don't want to draw attention to my terrible memory, as I've been successfully hiding it for years. Nor am I confident that I could be responsible for keys and not lose them. And realistically, I'd lose the book/accidentally delete the notes app I made notes on.

•I've been able to hide it for now, since as a regular employee, I am not watched very closely, but I cut a LOT of corners and there are several store policies that I think are extremely stupid and I either straight up don't follow them or have workarounds for them. Obviously as a lead, I'd have to stop doing that, but some of these policies strongly go against my morals. This is just a whining bulletpoint lol

•I'm not great under pressure, and I'm even worse when someone is yelling/swearing at me or talking down to me. I've seen leads get talked to like they're trash by customers and they have been able to successfully stay calm and collected. In situations where I have been yelled at or talked down to, I call a manager to back me up, but that doesn't work if I am the manager. And I don't mean that I'll cry, because in some situations, that may help. No. I mean that my natural response to stress, especially someone yelling at me, is to fight back. I will cuss them out, yell back and I have been known to physically attack. Not at work, obviously, but that's because up until now, I've been able to push aggressive customers off onto my managers. I've also successfully hidden my anger issues from management and coworkers to the point where they think I am always happy and never get mad. It helps to have someone to back me up/deflect off of, but if I am the backup, no one can defend me.

•There are several things wrong with the store that are completely out of the control of any of us employees at the physical location and are the fault of corporate, but customers blame the employees personally and as a lead, I'd have to answer for the fuckups of corporate that I genuinely cannot answer for. (Such as return policies and inventory inaccuracies)

•My manager is very shitty at communicating with her team. I've personally witnessed several incidents that were caused by her not properly communicating with her leads and I don't want to wind up in a position where I'm responsible for resolving the conflict she caused by not communicating. Also

•I have nearly zero respect for my manager. I think she is an absolute moron, but I've been able to hide it as I don't have to work/interact with her very often. As a lead, I'd have to work with her more and it may slip.

•I don't wear a nametag. I very strongly believe that nametags are a great danger to the employees, especially employees like myself who have a very uncommon name with a very uncommon spelling. Yet as a manager, I'd have to "lead by example" and wear a nametag. I would ideally wear a fake name or have several fake nametags to rotate, but my coworkers obviously know my name and would call it out.

•I'd have to double-check on this one, but I think leads, as members of management, are required to watch potential shoplifters and confront/track them down. I'm not sure if this is a requirement of a lead or if the particular leads at my store are going way beyond their job requirements/have been coached incorrectly by the store manager. I know I, as a regular employee, am not required to chase after thieves and I actively refuse to confront/chase thieves for my own safety. But I am not sure if that would change with becoming a lead. My work does not have a security guard.

•I have several ideas of things we could and should do to improve the store, but my manager is very arrogant and refuses to listen to constructive criticism or constructive feedback in any form. It would drive me insane to have to keep doing things the wrong/difficult way just because she won't listen to suggestions. And this isn't just an assumption by me. I have personally suggested things that she blatantly ignored and so have other leads.

Posted by admin Rodney

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

Wibta if I told my friend, upfront, I do not want his toxic partners in my campaign party without specifying why?

Everyone in this is 22+

So I (22NB) have been working on a campaign for at least 3 years now. I used dnd as a base and built off it to make my own world, races, mechanics, massive maps, religions, languages etc. This will be a massive campaign with highlights on religion and dealing with gods as a mortal etc and I've put so many hours into it it isn't even funny. I mean shit, I picked music for different areas depending on if it's day or night.

I made a discord server to house most of the basic info my players would need from table rules to the races and beyond. I mainly had the idea that the party would consist of my dmnpc guide (he doesn't fight or break the game, his only action during fighting is the help action and guide the party. Im not an asshole dm who makes my guide the protagonist. If its important, death doesn't really exist in my campaign due to demi-god race stuff, the party just gets sent back to its last save point with my grumpy man guide saying I told you so.), my partner's character (24f)(she dosent get preferential treatment. We've been together for 8 yrs) and my best bud's character (22tm. Been friends for 8 yrs). I never said I specifically only wanted my partner and friend to be party members but it was implied due to the fact I never invited my friends partners to the discord. I just don't really have many friends and this is the first time I've ever dm-ed period, let alone dming my own homebrew. We're all pretty novice newbie players and I think it'll be fun for us to stumble through the game together in a much less complicated form of DND without seasoned players "um actually-"ing us the whole time.

My partner is excited to try and my friend is ecstatic and about 2 years into development (last November) he asked if I could let his partners join the campaign. There're a few issues with this beyond me not really knowing them and not wanting to run a large party (it's hard for seasoned dms to run a 4+ party, let alone I, a fresh infant of a dm). My friend has 3 partners of his (he has 4 total) he wants to introduce to my campaign, this includes (fake names): Mel(24nb), Sandy (mid 20s f) and Rue (23 tw). I have issues with each individual present and it all stems from me sitting in on a different campaign for a single session. See, my friend has his own campaign (much smaller, follows one story in one town on an island instead of my entire continent) and he tried to run it by those three partners (and 2 friends. Names and genders unnecessary, they were our age) while I quietly sat in the session (it was over a discord call, were all in differnet states except for me and my partner) and watched it run just to see how my friend dmed and how the groups chemistry was. They had a 3 hour session.

It was the most socially awkward, intense and passive aggressive 3 hours of my life. Mel barely paid attention and as a result, had to have things explained to them when they weren't listening. They would then would talk over the person explaining things, pick apart their language and get irritated to the point of telling them (mostly rue) to shut up. Mel was quite litterally looking for a fight constantly. Sandy was relatively quiet but also not paying attention and talking over other players actions. She also would come up with random "icks " and one minute was telling everyone to keep all sexual jokes and comments to themselves because it made her uncomfortable then the next said her character was literally blowing a guy in the back of tavern.(btw this is not a fetish campaign or anything, it was out of left field for everyone and my friend shut it down because of that) Rue was the "uhm actually" type who pointed out inaccuracies, broken rules and lack of realism (it's a pirate fantasy magic campaign. There isn't much to focus on realism). Rue was clearly the most seasoned player but the nicest all things considered. She was mostly just condescending and treated my friend like he was stupid for not having every single detail mapped out. The party also had 2 of his friends but they were just as quiet as me and also either not paying attention or listening to the shit show. The session litterally ended with Sandy and Mel having the tiniest argument, mel pulling a crying running away anime protagonist "I'm sorry for being just a fucking terrible person! Ill leave so you all can have fun!!" Then hanging up all dramatically. Safe to say, their party was literally every red flag I was warned about by dm guide content.

My friend then came to me and said they broke up with Sandy that night but were still friends and I was still in shock from the sheer toxicity. Did I mention I had only met Sandy and the two other friends that night? And had only spoken over the phone to Mel once in a group call and met rue in person 2 times? Safe to say, I do not want litterally any of his partners in my party for various reasons and I feel as if just one of them at my table would make my patience end on sight. I consider myself to be very flexible and want to do my very best to be a fair but strong dm who doesn't get their story absolutely trampled by players intentionally trying to ruin my story and watch me scramble (mel and sandy openly did that). These players would disrespect my table rules for fun. Even my friend said they never respect him and his story as a DM and he won't run a game with them again and he thinks they'll respect my rule? As a baby dm? Nah fam.

He wants to bring rue and Mel into my campaign and I haven't answered him yet. I've mostly dodged the question with "I'm not sure how big of a party I feel comfortable dming for, I'll know later down the line." And he's asked again, still curious. I don't wanna judge my friends relationships because he and Mel have been together for 5 years and rue has been with him for 2 (they were together previously before rue came out and rue tried to control and physically abuse him. Thats another reason I don't want her in my campaign. Fuck abusers) but the toxicity they would bring would probably poison me. If I bring these things up, idk how my friend would react and he can be a bit... Extreme when he gets defensive. Cutting people off permanently at a moments notice then coming back crying or confused. He has BPD which explains it but I don't obviously wanna say " your partners are low-key toxic and abit abusive and I don't want them at my table or in my life for the most part and although I love you bro(/platonic) I do not want living blowfish at my table that you might not even speak to tomorrow.".

Obviously I wouldn't word it like that but mainly I just plan on saying "Ive never dmed before and I'm nervous about the functionality of my campaign so I want to keep my party nice, small and intimate and only between you, me and my partner for now. Maybe we can incorporate them later." Without mentioning all the... Other stuff and side stepping if he's like "but what if just mel/rue?". Me, my partner and him have been friends awhile so it's not like he'll feel like he's third wheeling or anything and I get he wants his partners to take in his interest, I just do not want them at my table and I wanna know if I'm a dick if I dont specify why and avoid the question. I dont wanna rock the boat and hurt my friends feelings but I'm not gonna ruin the first full run of my pet project so a passive aggressive asshole and a know it all almost abuser can participate. He deserves to know why his partners can't join and I'm not technically lieing, even if they were cool, I don't know if I'd want them there. But they definitely aren't cool and that just seals the coffin for me.

(obviously I'm wording this in a comedic way but everything here actually happened and I mostly just wanna focus on supporting my friend despite his choices. I do not have to like his partners to tolerate them but it's my table and my years of work, if i dont want them there, they dont get to be there. I'm just wondering if I'm a dick for kinda lieing kinda not if I don't give the actual reasons for why I don't want them at my table and never plan on allowing them there. I would happily accommodate 1 or 2 more people at my table in this case if they were close to me like my sister or older brother but I dont know his partners well at all and even though they are passive to me, I dont feel safe around people like that. Wibta?)

What are these acronyms?

[ummmlife]

Miserable Salaryman!Nanami Boyfriend

part 2

warnings! : nanami x afab reader ; slight nsfw (still mdni) ; angst (?) ; headcanon ; salaryman!nanami ; if none of this makes sense (spelling and grammatically speaking) i'm sorry but my first language isn't english (lol)

What comes to my mind thinking about Salaryman!Nanami is: misery.

This man lives miserably in a constant depressive state that he isn't even aware of. He lives in a monotone routine that consists of: waking up at 5 a. m., getting ready for work, take the subway when is rush hour, getting at the office at 6:37 and start working at 7 o'clock for 8+ hours, have a casse-croûte for lunch, then leave the office at 1 a. m., get back home for a shower and sleep. Then repeat this over and over again.

The ambience of the city full of other corporative slaves just like him filling every single space of negative energy ends up draining him as well. An endless cycle of stress and tiredness that keeps, slowly but surely, consuming him.

That's how the life of a salaryman is.

Miserable Salaryman!Nanami will always come back home extremely tired, wanting nothing but a glass of whiskey and a migraine pill.

Miserable Salaryman!Nanami would try to pretend that everything is fine when he gets paid every month, just to then feel a knot in his throat after paying every bill.

Miserable Salaryman!Nanami who feels helpless every time he finds you completely asleep on the couch after a failed attempt to try to stay awake to wait for him to get home.

Miserable Salaryman!Nanami will do his best to spend more time with you but that only happens twice a month because he craves to sleep on his free days.

Miserable Salaryman!Nanami who could get sick very often due to overworking himself and, basically, venerates you for taking care of him.

Miserable Salaryman!Nanami who cries himself to sleep silently every night when he's in bed with you while you're sleeping because he feels that he's losing his life in a job that is taking away his best years.

Miserable Salaryman!Nanami who hates himself for not having enough time for you as he had before and fears that he's ruining your relationship.

Miserable Salaryman!Nanami whose libido is lower than 0 and has no energy to even have sex anymore, but begs you to cockwarm him to sleep, because the warm of your pussy hugging his dick brings him comfort. He doesn't just want to cuddle with you, he doesn't just want to hug you, he wants to feel as close as possible.

Miserable Salaryman!Nanami who will cum immediately once his dick is deep inside of you because, honestly, he can't last a minute with you anymore. Of course, he won't pull out, so get ready to sleep with his thick cum filling your womb and wake up with his flaccid dick still inside while his little "gift" from last night keeps leaking from your inside.

Miserable Salaryman!Nanami will shyly ask you to let him sleep with his head on your chest to squeeze your tits and suck your nipples for stress relief.

Miserable Salaryman!Nanami who ends up collapsing in front of you like a little kid and who you end up convincing to leave his job.

After watching your boyfriend have a mental breakdown, which you never thought possible, you had him lean over you on the couch while he calmed down a bit and stopped crying. —"I really don't know what would be of me without you... you are an angel in my life, thank you."

Miserable Salaryman!Nanami that just quit his job and took part of his savings to go on a trip with you to Malaysia, so he can finally rest in peace next to you on a nice beach with no more worries in his life.

shitty concept and shitty headcanons, yes, but i really like miserable (big) men craving comfort from their partners :) that's all ‹𝟹

[jinxedmuse]

secret dating idol!svt — 95z line, & if you guys get caught

authors note: idk this just seemed fun! i wanna release a one shot for another member but i’m stuck between which one ;-; so for now we have this plz enjoy!!!

warnings: uhm reader is famous but it fluctuates between each member (ie: actor, idol, etc)? , should be gender neutral but tbh may (???) come off as fem.

choi seungcheol

probably another idol (+ leader) he liked how you managed your group and definitely gives off the vibe he’d approach first if he was really interested.. which thankfully, he was!

dates (although rare bcs ur both busy taking care of ur children, ie: team members lol) definitely consist of: driving around the very low-key parts of seoul, pre reserved dinners at extremely exclusive restaurants, weekend golf dates at elite and selective country clubs (with matching outfits), and obviously going over his place to sleep in and play w/ kkuma!

surprises you with gifts every time you can meet! or, he’ll just have it directly ordered to your place. definitely have an over flow of couple items like that man is as obvious as can be without completely blowing the lid over??

he wants matching couple rings sooo bad but he knows that svt is known for their pinky rings & people would immediately notice if he had another one that he suspiciously never took off.. hm? so he’d opt for matching sweat suits (ie: hoodie/sweatpants sets/athletic sets/lounge sets etc). he’d buy you the gray ver of his all black adidas sweatsuit and everyone would be like.. wait a min? but also can’t pin point if they’re overthinking it (hint: they’re not ;)

when things get serious, and they most likely will, he’s probably the best long term partner ever.

yes, he’s a man at the end of the day so obviously he’d wanna have fun and we do not know him outside svt content BUT i feel like he already has so much responsibilities to bare and he’s too busy to even be dating but he chose to! with you! because he likes (dare i say loves) you a lot! so why would he wanna waste his precious time that he barely has??

definitely gets matching tattoos with you somewhere down the line. i feel like if you guys were like YEARS into it , parents have met, etc etc then he’d get your initials on his ring finger or somewhere on his back or along his neck :(

at this point, dispatch has a wholeeee book on you guys. definitely planning to expose y’all as the new years couple but you know hybe is swimming in money so they paid them off and saved your asses! aka, you don’t get caught.

lucky you!

yoon jeonghan

probably dating a idol or well known model. either way, you’re both known for your otherworldly visuals! you guys met at a exclusive ysl event/after party and he asked his manager to talk to your manager and boom! things went off.

dates are actually pretty regular. don’t get me wrong, you both have pretty hectic schedules, and yours are pretty random because you never know which city you need to be in next but since you both don’t like doing as much interviews/variety shows as your counterparts, you use that time on dates!

you guys reserve 1- sometimes 2 hour tours at those interactive park places (where you can hold/feel animals etc) and takes lots of pictures for each other (which means matching lovestagram!!!) , you guys go on secretive sauna dates to catch up on your work weeks, and hang out at each other’s apartment while eating your fav food at odd hours lol!

LOVEEE couple items! matching lego sets, pet rocks, any new jewelry he gets, especially if it’s a bracelet, he buys another one for you and you guys wear them 24/7 like seriously it doesn’t come off! would probably even get the cartier love bracelet if he wasn’t so dedicated to ysl…

fans are saurrrrrr suspicious because like.. is he even trying to be subtle or are they just making it up in their head??? svt would be playing the character quiz and you’d come up and his brain would literally malfunction like all he can do is smile and apologize for “getting you wrong” while the rest of the members are trying to (not so) swiftly move on.. yeah!

you guys are definitely the on and off type! nothing toxic just every time you both get genuinely TOO busy you’d cool off from each other and bounce back like nothing happened.

i feel like he’d want something long term but wouldn’t be too set on marriage? idk, if you guys did end it wouldn’t be on a bad note and you’d both just play it off (to the public) as if you were always “just” friends but bffr.. anyway!

you guys wouldn’t necessarily get exposed by dispatch/a news outlet but both your fandoms would like low-key know you had something going on and respect that privacy.

joshua hong

i can see him dating a gorgeous high class actor/actress. you guys meet at an award show and slowly got to know each other before comfortably settling into a relationship.

dates are superrr frequent, even your personal managers are shocked because damnn that devotion? you guys already told them that any free time you have in your bustling scheduals go to each other. very cute.

dates are very spontaneous and depend on where you are. believe it or not most dates are at home and consist of you laying your head in his lap as he makes bracelets and you revising your lines. (as with ll the boys) you get backstage concert privilege with kisses between sets and he visits you on set with coffee trucks for everyone and your fav pick me up snack if you're feeling down during filming.

couple items are very low-key! he's known for his handmade jewelry so he'll give you one or two but anymore will land ya'll in the mouse trap. so the more intimate matching things never see the light of day.

fans start getting suspicious when they realize that all the films or dramas he's been recommending lately have you in it but he just plays it off that he's been getting interested in more films during his down time and you became his favorite actress/tor .. right! also you suddenly keep singing seventeen songs (his parts) in your behind the scenes and they're just like..? okay maybe you just really go into seventeen outta no where.. whatever that means!

you both are very private people by nature so you guys leave 0 trace behind when planning dates etc like everyone is signing NDA's lol! so dispatch (and your fans) may have a feeling, but they have no proof.

does have marriage in mind for the long run but you guys would date for a longgggg time before that like 5+ years. would probably announce it randomly after you guys are satisfied with your career and respected enough to the point people don't throw a fuss but are genuinely happy for you. ya'll end up nicknamed: the nations unexpected but ultimate visual couple, for sure!

───── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ─────

[that-wizard-oki]

Do you enjoy working for kingsisle? Please tell me they pay their employees well despite being greedy ❤️

Yes, I absolutely enjoy working at/for KI.

As someone who lives by themselves and only has my dog to care for, I feel I'm paid pretty well. I'm sure other employees may feel differently, which is totally fine, but yea for me and my living situation I don't have much to complain about. I wouldn't MIND being paid a bit more, but I'm also still a junior and am not in any sort of leadership position. I also have not ever worked overtime or been like, forced into any sort of crunch time (which is insanely common in this industry). So yea, i'll take a standard 8 hour shift with job stability for perhaps 'average' pay over a unstable job with better pay and horrible hours.

Other positives I've experienced in terms of pay at KI:

When I was an intern, I was paid. Not many (art/gaming esp) internships will pay you at all, so that was great.

When I was offered a full time position and negotiated for my wage to be increased, I was obliged without any issue at all.

When I asked for a raise after my first year working, my boss was actually ahead of me and was going to offer me one anyway.

We almost always get a 3% COL raise ontop of any other raises we are approved for at the end of each year.

Since I've worked here, we've also received decent bonuses at the end of each year.

We also have unlimited PTO, and a wellness day every quarter (usually a random Friday we have off every 3 months or so). We also have off for most bank holidays and thanksgiving/Christmas.

Like with literally ANY company, there's always some cons, and yea I could list a few if I wanted, i suppose. And I'm sure if you ask someone this question from another department, you may get a completely different answer than what I've written here.

But as far as being a character animator goes, I like my boss, I like my fellow animators/character artists, and I like a lot of the other people I work with in other departments too.

I also appreciate anyone at this company who's listened to me go into Autism Mode and talk about Morganthe for more than 5 minutes LOL.

Also, It is ultimately each individual person's opinion on prices for membership/packs/etc, but imo anon... it's kind of odd to me to "hope KI pays its employees well" while calling it greedy. I'm not like, angry or upset at all, like its totes fine if thats your thought on the matter, genuinely, but I feel the need to be like. That feels a bit back-handed compliment-y to me, even if that wasn't the intention :'D Like. I am part of KI. Am I greedy? I don't think so. But I do want to be paid well for the work that I do. For us to be paid well, we gotta charge what we do.

Not even that, but if you'd like to see Pirate get more consistence and quality updates, that means hiring more people, which means we have to make more money to pay them what they deserve. That could mean raising membership prices, etc, in order to do that. It wouldn't mean we're trying to be greedy, it means we're trying to give another portion of our player base better content.

I actually don't think they've raised membership prices since the launch of the game, which is... actually kind of crazy to me considering how much prices for everything have changed in the last 20 years. We also have $5/mo membership sales fairly often iirc.

None of us like capitalism, trust me. A lot of us get into this industry not at all for the money, but because we like making video games. I think that's absolutely the case for everyone here. I wouldn't call anyone here greedy, personally. We just unfortunately live under the rule of capitalism for now.

I also think if this company truly was as greedy as many say we are, we'd see that greed within the workplace culture- we wouldn't have unlimited pto, we wouldn't have things like dental insurance, we wouldn't have fun days with catered lunches, or team outings for team building.

To each their own of course, but as far as game developers go, I think we're fine, if not maybe a touch better than some triple A studios out there.

Also all of this is my own opinion, just an fyi lol.

[swaglet]

more ranting under the cut but this time it's not about ferrets it's about autism and mental illness

i kind of am mad that i'm autistic and mentally ill. because as soon as i withdrew from a few classes to lighten my load and make my schedule into part time again (like my therapist suggested) so that my brain doesn't short circuit and i don't get way too overwhelmed, i have now started...

1) feeding myself better

2) taking care of myself and my hygiene better

3) doing laundry much more consistently

4) being social and hanging out with friends multiple times a week instead of isolating myself and making myself sad

5) getting ALL my class work done and turning all of it in and getting good grades

6) showing up to all of my classes without fail and actually enjoying them and being mentally present in them

7) starting to communicating my needs to people that i trust again and reaching out if i need to

8) asking my choir director if i can go back to working as the choir librarian even if it's as a volunteer rather than a paid position so i can keep myself occupied and it's a job i like to do, and maybe eventually get paid for it again if i prove i can be reliable

9) making a huge effort to be kind and considerate to people instead of just being on autopilot and even started reaching out to people i've never spoken to before in order to try and make new friends

10) being active in the clubs i'm a part of and interested again which means i'm more active on campus and people want me around more again

like. i'm so mad that this is just my life. i might have to eventually learn to accept that i just get overwhelmed much more easily than most people do, even when i'm medicated and in therapy, and i might not be able to keep cramming my schedule full of classes like a normal college student would, and i might not be able to have a normal job with normal hours like a normal functioning person would. there's still resources i haven't tried, i'm reaching out to the academic coach on campus and whatnot for next semester and see if there are any more profound accommodations that they can give me, and when i meet with my psychiatrist next week i'm going to see if she can point me to any occupational therapy resources nearby, and see if all that can help me lead a more normal life. but i do really feel so ashamed of not being able to do it like everyone else. my dad is on the spectrum, he really struggled as a kid, but now he's just a handful of rungs down on the ladder below CEO of a successful international company and he's in charge of a lot of people and he's really talented at a lot of stuff and a lot of people respect him even though he's kind of fucked up and rude. i'm smart, i'm talented, everyone in my life knows that, everyone in my life tells me that every day and everyone praises me when i do something right and my professors all make sure to tell me how proud of me they are and how wonderful i am, so why can't i get my shit together? i have so much potential and it's all going to be wasted because there's just parts of my brain that won't click no matter how much progress i make. it's so embarrassing. it really is.

i feel like a failure. why can i only live life when there's basically nothing on my plate? why can i only live life when things are easy for me? why do i shut down and stop functioning in every other scenario? that's not fair to everyone else in life. idk. Shit pisses me off vro

[loudblonde]

Simon "Ghost" Riley x Male!Reader Mafia AU (Chapter 15)

SummarySimon and (Y/N) get close before getting some unfortunate news

Warnings: Oral sex, mentioning of boundaries and people not respecting boundaries.

Author note:

Heyoooooo, it has been a while, things have honestly been mundane here, I just started school and bought Baldurs gate 3 which I have already gotten almost 400 hours in it since august, so sorry for not really posting but I kinda forgot midst school and gaming. I was stuck on where to take this story for a good few weeks, again so sorry. I cant in any way promise consistancy but I will try and post more often.

Thank you so much to the folk who were concerned and all your kind comments that you have left, it truly truly makes my day so much better whenever I read any comment you post.

Word count 1.9K

Ghost awoke feeling the spot in bed cold. He sighed, this was by far a too-common occurrence over these last 4 days, they would be leaving soon. (Y/N) would have Simon fully at his mercy again. Ghost knew he had to fight against it, and so did Simon, yet neither of him wanted to, no matter how much Ghost screamed and yelled that (Y/N) Price was nothing more than a slippery snake with venom-coated fangs, neither Simon nor Ghost was particularly eager to displease this new owner. 

John Price himself had been strict but Simon always knew there was some part of him that regretted what had happened that night, it didn’t take a fool to see just how much he was being shown that he really shouldn’t be shown or seen, even for the bodyguard of John Price. 

Simon opened his eyes as (Y/N) entered the bedroom, he sat up slightly, propped up on only his arms, his back ached from this position, but he wasn’t going to sit up further. “Did we get the go-ahead?” Simon asked, his voice deep and groggy, betraying any calmness he may have hoped to not show. 

(Y/N) slipped into bed, Simon found himself lying down with his head on (Y/N)’s chest, he was far too comfortable in this position, far too exposed but that didn’t matter, this was… well he couldn’t call it safe, but it was nice. 

“Hmm, we leave in the morning, I said goodbye to Arthur, he leaves on a small trip towards the store to stock up on bulk buys. He won’t be there in the morning.” (Y/N) said with a slight sigh. 

“You sound almost sad at that, love,” Simon said.

“He is an old friend. He is my Soap.” (Y/N) said and Simon fully understood that, a bond he couldn’t explain to no other. Not romantic despite desperately trying it. He hoped (Y/N) wouldn’t be another Soap. “I am happy to see him and sad to leave, but we both know we won’t see each other much if at all after this.” (Y/N) said, disappointed. “Maybe at the opposite ends of a gun.” 

“You think he will kill you?” Ghost asked. 

“If he gets paid a lot, maybe, I won’t fault him for that. It’s the business.” (Y/N) said with a slight shrug. He absentmindedly ran a hand through Simon’s hair. “Your hair is getting long, I like it.” 

Simon leaned into his touch, slowly getting lulled to sleep by it. When he awoke again, (Y/N) was sleeping as well. Simon closed his eyes and felt sleep embrace him for a few moments before (Y/N) woke him up.  

Getting back onto the road meant one thing, medical attention. (Y/N) took over as driver and drove up towards northern Europe, (Y/N) took backroads and at times they slept in the car or in shitty cheap cash-only hotels, whatever the route was, they were not hurrying for time. It was almost a week later of this, when they finally arrived in their Swedish cabin, having almost completely blown past Denmark on the way up, only stopping a few moments for his wrist to be checked and taken care of. Simon looked to where (Y/N) was making a fire and yearned for them to get away from this life of running, but they were finally here, fully just alone and for once, without anything or anyone to worry about, a mutually distant place in a mutually distant country. 

The cabin was small and comfortable, though without running water or electronics, they had a generator for their phones and a small camping stow, all they would ever need. Simon laid his head down on the pillow of the queen-sized bed, it was tugged in the corner of the small cabin, only one room, perfect for laying low. 

(Y/N) glanced at him and smiled. Simon sat up as the other walked over, his arms found a way around his waist as he pulled him in. Simon kissed his stomach before looking up at him. “You haven't pushed yourself onto me,” Simon said softly. 

“Why would I?” (Y/N) asked. “You are a person, no one deserves that and if I must cum, well I have a perfectly fine hand that can get me off.” 

Simon chuckled at that, a small smile on his face. “You are making me more confident by the hour, that's a dangerous thing.” 

This time it was (Y/N)’s turn to chuckle. He placed his arms around Simon’s shoulders. “Yeah?” 

“Mhm, once I realise I am a handsome bastard then there is no stopping me,” Simon said. 

“Well, that just means that my Simon will be the fiercest and most dangerous man around.” (Y/N) leaned down and kissed him passionately.

Simon groaned against the kiss. “You want me to be that? To be confident and not just another thing like that König you fucked?” He asked before standing up, his arms still wrapped firmly around (Y/N). 

“Aye, I do. I love a man who knows what he wants and who isn’t afraid to either ask for it or take it.” (Y/N) said with a smirk. 

“My hand is still busted,” Simon said before backing (Y/N) up against the wall, (Y/N)’s back hit it roughly before their lips met. 

(Y/N) groaned lightly but returned the kiss, he didn’t fight this display of confidence that Simon was showing, despite (Y/N) being a power top, this confidence was very attractive and very different from what he had seen so far from Simon. 

Their kiss lasted a while as they let hands roam and map each other's bodies, both seeking comfort in the movements. 

(Y/N) pulled away and bit his lip before looking at Simon. “How far?” 

Simon hesitated before walking over and sitting on the bed, he spread his legs. “I don’t feel comfortable with penetration….” 

(Y/N) walked over and hummed. “Oral?” He knelt down, gently rubbing Simon’s legs. “You on the receiving end.” 

“If I say stop at any point, will you stop?” The confidence washed away to vulnerability. 

(Y/N)’s smile softened. “Of course, Si, if you ever get uncomfortable, even with kissing, tell me and I will stop. Even just holding your hand or touching you in any manner.” 

Simon smiled at that and nodded. “Okay, let's try.” 

(Y/N) reached up and cupped his cheeks before kissing him, his eyes fluttering close as he felt Simon respond to the kiss. He felt him kiss back, their lips parting easily, (Y/N)’s tongue explored Simon’s mouth, Simon didn’t fight against it, his trust in (Y/N) was unwavering. 

(Y/N) pulled away only to kiss down Simon’s neck, leaving behind faint hickeys. They pulled apart for just long enough to discard the shirt and remove the belt. (Y/N) looked up at Simon as he palmed his growing erection, there were no signs of hesitance so far. “You are doing so well for me.” (Y/N) praised, his head tilting slightly before he undid the pants button. With some combined effort they managed to pull the pants and underwear down to Simon’s ankles. (Y/N) situated himself better before grabbing some lube from the bag next to the bed. He coated his hand before giving Simon’s cock a few strokes, getting it erect.

(Y/N) wasted no time before wrapping his lips around the head, he hollowed his cheeks out before slowly going all the way down, his tongue working expertly to hit all the right spots. Simon felt the wet warmth of (Y/N)’s mouth and moaned, his body was growing hotter by the second.

(Y/N) didn’t hold back, he bottomed out expertly, his nose hit Simon’s pubes, causing Simon to moan even louder, he was suddenly glad they were miles away from anyone or anything. 

As (Y/N) moved up and down his tongue massaged every pleasurable part. He removed a hand from Simon’s thigh to fondle his balls, causing Simon to moan even louder. 

Simon was in the clouds, no one had ever just focused on his pleasure, he placed a hand in (Y/N)’s hair, though he didn’t push down in any manner, the pleasure was too good, he was lost, no matter what he wanted to say it never came out. 

Simon felt a familiar knot form in his stomach. He moaned even louder as he struggled to find his words to warn (Y/N).

(Y/N) saw him and hummed in satisfaction, ignoring his own throbbing cock. Simon groaned at that, causing (Y/N) to feel pride in his own ability to please Simon. 

Simon didn’t hold out much longer, the vibrations, the warmth and the way (Y/N)’s tongue moved was pure bliss, he tapped (Y/N)’s head moments before he came. Simon’s salty hot cum sprayed down (Y/N)’s throat, which (Y/N) drank down without a problem. He pulled away and kissed Simon. “You did so well, I am so proud of you.” 

Simon barely registered the words, he was still riding the high from cumming. “You are amazing.” He chuckled cum drunk. 

(Y/N) chuckled and stood up, he helped Simon get dressed again before laying down with him. “Are you feeling less stressed?” 

Simon nodded. “Yes, thank you and thank you for not doing anything I didn’t want.” 

“Si, I would never, I may be an assassin, but I am not a monster.” (Y/N) said.

Simon chuckled and leaned his forehead against his. “You are painfully hard against my thigh, may I?” Simon asked. 

(Y/N) hummed. “Sure, if you want.” 

“I would love nothing more~,” Simon said.

—

The first few days of the cabin were quiet, almost exactly like their initial cabin but this time more intimate, neither man initiated anything sexual beyond those initial blow jobs, they were content with each other's company, and they needed nothing more. At least not for now. They had each other. 

(Y/N) awoke to find his phone blaring the British national anthem. He rolled over, ignoring the way Simon groaned before picking up the phone. He hummed as sleep still had a hold on him. “(Y/N).” 

‘Hey boy, we have this mess cleared up faster than we intended.’ His father's voice would normally have been a welcomed tone, yet it was like ice filled his veins. ‘Are you able to fly home as soon as possible?’ 

His mouth felt impossibly dry. “Yeah, no yeah, that’s good, I will see about booking some tickets home, we shouldn’t have any problems.” He said. 

‘Good, we need to get you up to speed on everything.” Price said before hanging up, undoubtedly very busy despite it being ass o’clock in the morning. Simon wrapped his arms around (Y/N). “Hey?” 

“We have to go home.” 

“Oh.” 

(Y/N) laid down and wrapped his arms around Simon. “I don’t know the situation or how open we can be.” (Y/N) said before placing a hand on Simon’s cheek, his thumb brushed across the scars. 

“No matter what happens, my loyalty is to you,” Simon said, fully just closing his eyes. He had thought there was no other choice but Price, that he wasn’t worthy of living unless he served Price and attempted to work off his debt, yet (Y/N) had branded Simon as his own with the necklace and had shown him more kindness then he had ever experienced before, no matter how much Simon knew that in the end he was simply being used, he was still going to worship the ground (Y/N) walked on, he would burn the world for (Y/N) if asked, fully loyal like a dog to its master. 

(Y/N) smiled at that, he kissed Simon’s forehead. “And I will do anything in my power to protect you, Si. I won’t let my father hurt you.” 

“I love you too,” Simon said softly. 

“Now, let's get some breakfast and catch a plane.” (Y/N) chuckled. “We can handle whatever England throws at us, no matter what, we have survived everything so far, eh?”

Simon chuckled. “Yes, yes we can.” 

Tag list

@rasberry-jupiter

@one-green-frog

[mathsbian]

You know what I was thinking about last night?

In the US, we pay into various accounts that are set up by the government to help us out later if/when we need it. These include unemployment insurance (UI), social security retirement benefits, and social security disability benefits (SSDI). These accounts are directly connected to how long you have worked and the amount of money you were paid, and are only for you to access.

We also pay into programs that are for anyone who needs them, no work required to get assistance. These include social welfare programs like SNAP (food stamps) and TANF (cash assistance for families with children so they can buy clothes for their kids and stuff that isn’t covered by SNAP) and SSI, which is another kind of disability insurance but is specifically for poor disabled people who are possibly still working but can’t afford their cost-of-living expenses which are higher than the average person thanks to their disability.

If you want to get money from SNAP or TANF, you have to prove that you need it. The government will be checking if you have a job and how much you get paid, they’ll look at your bank accounts to see how much money you have on hand, you send them copies of bill statements to prove your expenses eat up most or all of your income. Since SSI is a similar program, I can understand why there’s hoops to jump through to get money from that program.

However, if you want money from your UI account or your social security retirement account, you pretty much just have to tell the government you’re in the group that account is for now. For UI, you have to show you’re still looking for new work (at least in my state) but it’s a very lax requirement compared to the requirements for SNAP/TANF. I’m not entirely sure how one goes about collecting their retirement benefits but I assume it involves a similar process of filing with the government that you’ve retired instead of being between jobs, and they’re only check that that admission from you is true.

SSDI, though? You pay into that account your entire career. But then if you suddenly need the money, you have to go through a ridiculously complicated and drawn out process to be approved. UI approval takes a week at most in my state. I assume retirement benefits get approved in under a year at the very most. But getting approved for SSDI when you don’t have one of the limited diagnoses that automatically qualify you (and not even just a diagnosis in the list, a diagnosis with the right stipulations such as mental health conditions having to be present for over two years without much documented improvement despite consistent treatment)? That can take up to TWO YEARS because they can just deny you over and over again and force you to appeal the decision as many as like 5 times, and each appeal has a 6 month waiting period. And on top of that, once you stop working, the account starts counting down to self-destruction. You only have so much time before you lose access to the money entirely. If I am not found disabled on this application (I’m halfway through all the possible appeals), I will not be able to get my SSDI money AT ALL.

It’s fucking bullshit. I paid into that account so I would have money set aside for if I became disabled. I don’t have to prove I need the unemployment money, which I’m no longer qualified to receive, they’ll basically give it to me no questions asked. But when I’m disabled and barely scraping by for years I keep getting told that “actually from our review of your case it seems like you totally can have a desk job, go fuck yourself” despite me constantly including the detail that I cannot sit upright at a desk for more than an hour without needing to lie down completely flat for two hours immediately after. It’s MY MONEY. They’re not saving it for someone else, they’re going to just eat it if I don’t get it, why can’t they just GIVE IT TO ME???

[fffffaaaaq]

Winter Schnee X OC Heaad Cannons

A/N: I couldn’t think of a name lol :(

When going to Atlas’s Academy, Hazel made sure to stay clear of Winter Schnee, she always felt like they were on opposite ends of lifestyle. Hazel had the choice of going to Atlas’s Academy to become a soldier or be imprisoned for 2-3 years, as Winter well she’s a Schnee 

It was kinda hard not to notice the Schnee when she was the top of class for pretty much anything and everything. Hazel on the other hand always landed somewhere in the top 20s. 

Hazel kept a low profile throughout her time at Atlas, though she was of course noticed consistently being in the top 20s, allowing her to be in the top 10s.

Eventually, Hazel just followed the chain of command in the military, occasionally going on special assignments handpicked by Ironwood. 

Since Ironwood would select assignments for Hazel, she eventually came to be noticed by Winter. Winter always knew of her, but she paid little attention to the Vacuo native

Eventually, it became difficult for Winter to not notice Hazel as she always seemed to clear her assignments fast. 

Eventually, Winter was promoted to be a specialist, as Hazel an ace ops, which she ultimately declined

Out of spite, Ironwood had placed Hazel to be an assistant to Winter. 

At first the relationship was strictly professional, to which Winter was certainly pleased to have such a capable assistant. 

Winter could always hand a stack of work to Hazel which would always be finished at the end of day. Winter could have the busiest schedule, but somehow Hazel always managed to make her work easier, by outlining essentials in a report, providing clarification

Sometimes when Winter was really booked, Hazel would attend some meetings for her, but nothing that was too out of her jurisdiction 

Hazel and Winter would have to attend work events with each other. Hazel would somehow get recognized by some official and eventually a crowd of people would surround her just to get a chance to talk to her

Winter was certainly surprised by how personable her assistant was. 

Once she overheard a journalist approach Hazel to get in an inside scope of working with a Schnee. At this point Hazel and Winter were working together for over a year. 

”Special Operative Schnee is ofcourse one of the best people to work with. Diligent, dedicated, motivated, she’s everything you’d want in a soldier and as a friend. She’s such a professional in every way, I can’t be more pleased to work with her.” 

Winter couldn’t tell if it was scripted or not because a few more reporters would approach Hazel and she would tell them the exact same thing. 

Eventually, after one particular work event. Hazel had a little too much wine at the event and left without Winter.

They always left together, so Winter ended up staying for another two hours, with half an hour spent looking for Hazel until she realized that Hazel left without her. That day Winter was displeased for Hazel’s miscommunication 

Hazel was displeased because it wasn’t something that she thought she had to communicate since the work event was technically off the record and thus she wouldn’t have to 

“It’s the principle! You always told me when you were going to leave and this time you didn’t!” 

Apparently Winter was a real sucker for a good routine, while it was true that Hazel always told Winter when she was leaving. Winter totally lost it when Hazel went out of the routine. 

The following work weeks were a special kind of hell. Winter wouldn’t tell Hazel some particular assignments, which caused a ripple effect for Hazel being behind and extra stressed.

Hazel stopped outlining Winter’s assignments which caused her to be not as efficient in her work, which Winter immediately noticed. The tension between the two was especially high; and very noticeable 

Ironwood eventually asked both Hazel and Winter separately if they’d like to cease working with one another to which they both declined and boosted each other discussing how efficient and well they worked

Hazel lost it when someone in the control room told her that her and Winter needed to bone. The conversation between her and Ironwood was a special one:

”You poured hot coffee on his crotch and smashed the mug on his face”

”We have aura! He’s fine! And are you really excusing workplace harassment?” 

“You were out of line. You’re suspended for two weeks until we sort this out.”

”Are you serious?”

”Yes”

”Winter’s not gonna be happy about this.” 

Hazel did the most logical thing when in an argument with your workplace wife and not tell her. 

When Winter found out, she was furious with Hazel. She sent Hazel multiple disapproving messages and called her multiple times. In which Hazel had set her scroll as ‘out-of-office’ so each of Winter’s messages and calls were promptly ignored and replied with an automated message.

 At this point Winter was livid. She didn’t know where you lived, but she made sure to find out since she could look through your personal files

That night when Hazel was watching the upcoming Vytal Festival with a glass of bourbon, making the best of her two weeks off, she was met with loud pounding at her door. 

Not expecting any visitors, she checked the peephole, and was met with a very pissed Winter

 Hazel couldn’t help but make light of the situation. She turned off the lights in her apartment and went to her room 

Winter did not leave, instead she demanded that Hazel open the door.

“Hazel! I know you’re in there! I saw you turn off the lights! Come open this door before I force it open!” 

“Can’t I’m fucking some bitches!” 

Winter did in fact break open Hazel’s door that night and was even more displeased, finding Hazel in her pajamas (a bra and bottoms) and enjoying her night with a glass of bourbon.

”You seriously broke open my door?”

“You’re suspended for two weeks and didn’t tell me!”

”You’re gonna have to fix that”

”Well what else are you gonna do lazing around all day for two weeks” 

“Do you even know why I’m suspended for two weeks?” 

“I read the report!” 

“So you were just gonna let that fucking comment slide?” 

“No, but I wouldn’t have done what you did!” 

“Ugh, Winter I just need some fucking space from you. Can you just get out!” 

That comment somehow hurt Winter more than she expected. She was really taken aback from it. All of a sudden her rage dissipated and she was eerily calm

“Look, Winter I just-“

”If that’s what you wish.” 

Hazel had to fix her door that night and ended up drinking as much as she smoked. 

At least the following day Winter had to go to Vale for the Vytal Festival Tournament. Hazel also knew that she’d probably be visiting her baby sister that she’d talk about in very briefs. Knowing the entire Schnee family was a given in Atlas. 

Hazel thought she wasn’t going to message Winter until she started work again, but after watching the fall of Beacon happen on live television she ended up messaging Winter over fifty times.

Hazel didn’t call because she also thought that Winter would probably be seeing calls first. 

Many of her messages began with “I’m sorry for…”

When Winter called Hazel, she had answered before the first ring

”Hello? Winter? Are you okay? Is your sister okay? I’m so sorry I fucked up every—“ 

”Can I see you tonight?” 

Winter came over to Hazel’s that night, this time Hazel more appropriately dressed, and with a glass of whiskey and ice. She debriefed Hazel, with Hazel listening attentively to every word. That night Hazel found out Weiss was returning to the Schnee Manor. 

“At least Weiss is physically okay”

”Thank you for tonight”

”Thank you for sharing.” 

“…I also fought Qrow in Vale…”

”That’s not surprising” 

Hazel thought that Winter was going to take her leave then and there, but Winter ended up making a confession to Hazel:

“You know I stayed another two hours, and looked for you”

Hazel rubbed her face as Winter made her confession of how Hazel made her feel 

Hazel didn’t know what was worse the fact that she knew she was wrong since the start of the argument and knew how it’ll make Winter feel or the reason why she left the event early was because she was realizing she has caught feelings for Winter and this entire thing was because she couldn’t talk to Winter 

When it was Hazel’s turn to respond she couldn’t tell if she was letting herself be so honest because she was honest or if she had a little bit of liquid courage

”I was wrong and I couldn’t admit it. And then that comment at work really set me off because I felt like he was right.” 

“I’m sorry?”

”I said too much.” She finished her glass of whiskey quickly trying to dismiss the comment she made. Winter did not let it slide 

Honestly, Winter needed the stress relief, it just surprised Hazel when she left before she even woke up, especially after having that heart to heart. Maybe Hazel was wrong but the entire thing after just felt so transactional, despite it being very passionate

When Hazel returned back to work, the tensions were still very much high, but now for different reasons. The only large difference was Winter would always come over on particularly stressful days and very high tension days. 

Hazel had it down, when Winter was super overworked or if she got yelled at by Ironwood, it was guaranteed that Winter would come by, which was frequent enough

Though the pair did go back into their routine of responsibilities, except Hazel was a bit more… passive aggressive 

“Can you bring me that document”

”I did, I left it when you wouldn’t notice” 

Winter immediate caught what you were implying 

“Should’ve looked harder,” Hazel would say, taking a slurp of her coffee. Which would aggravate Winter even more 

To be loved is to be known and in the time that they’ve worked together Hazel had picked up what little things annoy Winter. 

Winter prefers thin ballpoint pens over thick gel pens, so Hazel would give her the gel pens.

Winter hates the sound of chewing gum so Hazel started chewing gum more 

She dislikes when Hazel’s hair isn’t combed and tucked properly, so Hazel started being more lax with her hair. 

Hazel likes to think that Winter secretly likes when Hazel's hair is messy because it reminds her of other situations. 

Usually Hazel would ensure that these little things don’t happen, but now Hazel commits to these things to aggravate Winter. 

Winter knows that Hazel is only doing these things to agitate her, but she falls for it each time

Winter would say that it would be inappropriate for them to have a further relationship due to power dynamics; Hazel would say that technically they were already breaking the rules 

Eventually, Winter drew the line and stopped coming to Hazel for stress-relief. Hazel couldn’t ask if Winter was seeing anyone else, but Hazel did what she thought anyone would do, and so she started seeing other people. 

Winter had immediately caught on after one particular workday.

”Hazel, can you stay longer? I need assistance on one particular item.”

Usually Hazel would stay over-time, despite hitting her over-time hours but not this time around

”Sorry, we already hit my overtime hours, have a goodnight” 

And suddenly like a spark hitting oil. The tensions between Hazel and Winter grew even larger. 

Hazel wouldn’t particularly describe Winter as the jealous type, but Winter was so the jealous type 

Hazel made the effort to talk to her colleagues more. She was very personable so her colleagues tended to surround her when she made the effort 

Hazel would always catch Winter in a pout when she was in the midst of a crowd.

 When she made eye contact with Winter, she’d avoid it and roll her eyes 

The day that Hazel poorly covered a mark on her neck, Winter was particularly pissy. Hazel was promptly lectured of properly adjusting clothing to accommodate the work setting

”It’s a rash,” Hazel would insist promptly getting arise out of Winter

“We all know that’s not a rash!”

“Maybe you should get your mind outta the gutter!”

Winter made your workday a living hell that day 

Winter ended up at Hazel’s doorsteps that night, to which Hazel opened in her pajamas again, and wow did she really have at it

Hazel had opened the door and walked away fully expecting Winter to come in as she drank her whiskey. 

Winter came in and closed the door as Hazel predicted. She was also anticipating Winter to make comments of the marks on her body, and yeah she definitely did and then some. 

“Why do you care? You ended the relationship, you can’t just come over to slut-shame me”

It was a crazy makeup, but the only difference was that Winter actually stayed the night

Winter was actually touch starved, switching from big spoon to little spoon multiple times that night, eventually Hazel just fell asleep on the small of Winter’s back. 

Incidentally, that became their favorite position

It’s Hazel's favorite since it was so intimate and Winter is just so soft 

Although Winter prefers being big spoon, she doesn’t mind since you feel so vulnerable

Winter always woke up early, so that morning she shook Hazel awake, gave her a goodbye peck and left. Hazel was happier than ever

Everyone noticed that the tension between Hazel and Winter had dropped immediately as Hazel handed Winter a coffee with the needed reports that morning.

They were able to tell since Hazel did her hair the way Winter liked 

Well at least in the work setting, Winter actually prefers Hazel’s bed hair 

 The two worked as a stronger team with greater efficiency, it was crazy when the two finished their workday two hours before it even ended. Even Ironwood took notice

“Incredible, I’m glad you two make an efficient team. You can head home early since you finished your tasks early.”

Winter took Hazel out to dinner that night.

”Oh wow, you want to be seen in public with me?” 

“Don’t frame it that way”

”We don’t have to be that serious, I know how… apprehensive you are with the idea. I just didn’t want to be treated like some play thing.” 

“Well, I don’t want you to go running around acting like a play thing”

”Ouch” 

“Besides, we can still take it slow—“ 

”We’re past taking it slow”

”You know what I mean!” 

“Don’t worry, I’m with you. As always.”