#i just want a sorta reckless person to care for. to bring back down and let them rest. i want to be someone they dont need to put on an

[tittysuckersworld]

real growing up is realising your not the kaveh/miu/chuuya at all, but are actually the alhaitham/k1b0/dazai(kunikida, poe, ranpo, you get it-)

[sonicasura]

Not sure if the Kaiju number 8 world is escapism for the characters, or me. Probably both. Somehow I always bring KNACK around to sad/weird.

Lucas looks up to Reno, who is older than him but has similar traits. Lucas is too young to join the Defense Force, but in the meantime, he's likely to hang out more and more in that universe and hear the stories. Reno is kind of like an older brother, which is a role Knack can occupy only sometimes.

Once Reno impresses on Lucas how dangerous Kaiju are and why Kafka's secret is so important to keep, poor Kafka feels teamed on when he gets two earfuls about being reckless instead of one.

Knack gets chewed out, too, because Lucas wants to keep him safe. Though Knack may at some point tell him to 'zip it!' When priorities change.

The safety of his friends and family is more important than Knack's own protection. In that respect, him and Kafka's tendencies align.

He burns through Sunstone energy like fire through gasoline, however, those times he gets involved in battle. Kaiju are *nothing* like humans and goblins. I wonder how he might mess with Kaiju sensors, if at all.

Kafka's fatherly tendencies have interesting effects on the KNACK boys. Lucas finally feels listened-to and valued by an adult, and after the boys figure out how Knack's portals work, Lucas feels less and less inclined to return home every visit. Especially after getting into arguments with the Doctor. I think Kafka recognizes this as a problem, but I'm not sure how he approaches it.

The weirder part might be Knack's temperament. Knack's been alive for less than a few years, and I headcanon that this is his only go around with the whole existing thing. So Knack has always been as he is. Kafka has only been half-kaiju for less than a year, but is in his thirties, as we know.

Knack asks Kafka how he handles being different, mistreated for his looks even though he's human. Knack probably made an assumption that Kafka has had his kaiju powers for longer than he really did. Lucas points out that Knack seemingly implied that Knack is human when he isn't. And Knack shuts down after that, only giving one-word answers or silence for the rest of the talk. That's why it's kinda weird and I'm not sure how to explain Knack's feelings. He likes how he is and the way he looks, so he's not ashamed of himself in that way. But he called himself human for some reason.

This just makes me think back to Knack 1 where the Doctor says that Charlotte was his better half alongside Lucas genuinely being an orphan(lost his mother and no father in the picture). He genuinely cares for the two but sometimes his interests get the better of him. I think that's why Knack alongside Lucas have been exploring on their own while Doctor and Charlotte were at the Monk Temple in Knack 2.

A massive argument which makes the older man realize both his assistants need time to grow as their own individuals while he needs to reflect on himself. They do separate on better terms though when Lucas' group ends up seeking the Doctor for help in Knack 2. Both our younger heroes definitely flourished during their personal journey.

It also makes senses why Lucas ends up losing it later on in Knack 2, he doesn't want to be pushed to the wayside and ignored again especially for his blocky brother figure. An irrational fear as Knack would never dare replace Lucas something reaffirmed once the two are stranded on that island together.

Reno and Kafka sorta just speed up the process of the eventual separation. Both give the younger boys that needed reassurance but also validation. Kafka and Knack cope with not being human alongside learning about themselves better. Lucas gets to really show off his ideas but actually feels seen due to Reno than just our favorite himbo. Both people allow our boys to truly grow into their own individuals.

You can say exploring the world of Kaiju No. 8 is like finally being able to leave the nest in my opinion.

[goldenkirstein]

drunk aot boys hc's

⋆⋅☆⋅⋆

anonymous requested: Hey Raf, can I request some headcanons about what type of drunk Jean, Eren and Armin are and how they act when drunk, both in general and around their s/o? And you know, if they know their limits or don’t care because they enjoy being drunk and stuff. I just had this really random thought of Jean starting to give compliments to EVERYONE (and Eren is so weirded out when Jean tells him how soft his hair looks) and now I can’t stop wondering what they’d be like so yeah 😂

pairing: jean x gn! reader, eren x gn! reader, armin x gn! reader

wc: 1.3k+

tags: fluff, suggestive content, mentions of alcohol, vomiting, violence/aggression,

a/n: kind of got a little suggestive, but there's no smut. hope you enjoy reading, thank you for the request !!

⋆⋅☆⋅⋆

armin arlert:

He knows his limit, and on most days, he won’t drink past that, but sometimes on particularly stressful days, Armin thinks, one more drink won’t hurt. That thought is what gets him in trouble.

Usually, he’s easy to fluster when he is sober, but drunk Armin? Everyone is shocked at how unabashedly confident he is.

It does not matter if he has a s/o or not; he will be giggly and touchy and has no filter.

He gets very flushed, rosy cheeks and all.

Eren and Mikasa are unfazed by this; they have seen Armin drunk, but the others are shell-shocked when Armin starts singing back the lewd lyrics they use on him. He whispers them in your ear, and you have to pretend that he isn’t affecting you.

He begins making concoctions that will get him plastered and has to be physically restrained because:

Although it’s fun for him to forget about his worries for a night, he cannot handle his alcohol.

He wakes up with the worst hangovers, says that he will never drink again, which is a lie, but it’s a simple reassurance for the time being.

If everyone thinks he’s flirty and touchy when he’s with them, it just becomes dialed up to 100 when he is with you.

Usually, he gets blushy when you compliment him, but if they try it when he’s drunk? He will dish it back to them ten times worse.

“Yeah, I look pretty? You look even prettier when your clothes are-” “I know I did not hear Armin say what he just said to you. Who knew Arlert had such a foul mouth on him.”

He wants to be touching you 24/7; he’ll lean against you and quietly hum whatever song is playing, and if you push him off to go somewhere, he’ll get whiney and try to follow you wherever you are going.

He’s the type to wait for you outside the bathroom and continue talking to you, that is, if he can’t come inside.

He will try to kiss you, and drunk Armin kisses are almost always sloppy and messy, and as much as you try to push him away, he will end up landing a couple of kisses on your cheek and mouth-’adjacent’ area (his aim is kind of off).

Everyone likes going out to get drinks with him, he’s just fun to be around, and they also love seeing him enjoy himself for once and not worry about everyone else.

eren jaeger:

He is not a lightweight, but like Armin doesn’t get drunk often.

As such, he is usually assigned to taking care of the rest of them.

However, on the rare night where Eren does indulge, he becomes so reckless.

Eren will try to fight everyone, mostly Jean, though. It’s the worst when both of them are drunk and throwing punches (albeit missing most of them).

He will loop you in to participate in his antics, which almost always end up with him on the floor, and you need to pick him up and kiss him better (he plays his injuries up like a drama queen, just to secure a few more of those kisses).

He does get hungover the next day, but he doesn’t mind it too much because it happens so rarely.

Everyone is on high alert when it comes to drunk Eren because nine times out of ten, he is a danger to himself and occasionally can land a pretty mean punch.

One of the things he loves to do before he gets too drunk is to grab your jaw tilt it back to look at him, with a teasing glint in his eyes. He’ll wink at you and pour whatever he’s drinking down your throat and then gently close your mouth. If some of the drink spills from your lips, he’ll lean in and lick it up off your chin before kissing you and walking away to get another drink for himself.

When he’s wasted, he is not nearly as smooth, but Eren still thinks he is. He’ll try to talk to you up, but it’s just slurred words, with a crooked smile he thinks is a smirk.

He won’t be as touchy as Armin is, but there are a good few times where his arms are hooked around your neck, and he’s got you in a bear hug, mumbling, “everyone sucks; they made me get off the bar top, ‘m not talking ‘bout you though, you’re perfect.”

At some point, he does need to be tied up because he doesn’t know when to stop, and he will run away with his drinks if someone tries to take them from him.

When you try to take him home, he won’t recognize that it’s you, and he’ll just keep saying, “I have a partner, and even though you are very pretty, I’m a loyal man.” You just need to wait till he’s almost passed out because he’ll keep up this act as long he’s conscious.

Everyone enjoys his presence, but he can get quite out of control, so he taps out most of the time before he can get too drunk.

Jean Kirstein:

He doesn’t know his limit and, more often than not, crosses it; compared to the other two, he gets drunk more often.

Like Armin, he is a very flirty drunk, but he’s also super sloppy and has no filter whatsoever; he will say the first thing that pops into his mind.

He gets into fights with Eren, mostly because Eren provokes him, but in the same vein, he ends up complimenting Eren, something he would be caught dead doing if he was sober.

“You know what, jaeger? Your hair looks soft, I’ve been trying to figure out what to use for months, and I just can’t figure out your secret.” “Is this some new defensive technique you picked up? How am I supposed to hit you now?”

He genuinely thinks he’s the most competent person in the room, but he’s spewing out gibberish, and you don’t want to hurt his feelings, so you nod and pretend to understand him. Jean thinks his drunk babbling is what’s going to bring total world peace.

Nights with him always end up with Jean puking and spending the rest of the night in your lap, with you running your fingers through his hair. If you dare move your hand from his head, he’ll pout and take your hand and put it back on his head and won’t budge until he feels your fingers against his scalp.

Terrible hangovers; he doesn’t want to speak to anyone and spends the entire day in bed.

He becomes super affectionate with his friends and you. Jean’s a sweet man, but he doesn’t let anyone get to see his vulnerable side, so when he’s drunk, he lets everyone know what he thinks about them.

When Armin isn’t drinking, Jean is usually the one who tries to fluster him the most. When he succeeds, he’ll turn his attention to you and try to make you squirm.

Jean ends up confessing many things when he’s drunk; he tells you that he loves you for the first time when he’s drunk. The following morning, he acts like he doesn’t remember; Jean does, though and ends up properly telling you that he loves you later in the day.

His having no filter and his wayward confessions are also how he gets into fights with Eren. Jean lands a few good punches, but he tires himself out and just opts to hug Eren and tell him how much he appreciates him, despite Eren’s stubbornness.

Everyone loves having him around, but they have to watch out when he gets sappy or look out for him puking (he has ruined a good amount of furniture).

a/n: i hope you enjoyed this !! any feedback is appreciated i don't drink bshshs so i hope this sounded sorta realistic idk, i'm getting through the last couple of my requests now :)

taglist: @c0urtn3y, @depressedbisexual, @dai-tsukki-desu, @clean-soap, @nevcrmxre, @conniesspringersgf, @glittrkink

click here to join my taglist

As always, please leave a like/reblog if you enjoyed this, I appreciate it lots <33

[classic80sand90smovieloves2]

Meeting and Dating Max Dennison

(Not my gif)(Requested by anonymous)

- You met Max after he moved to Salem. The two of you were in the same History class and sat fairly close to each other. Because of this; and the fact that you’re drop dead gorgeous, he quickly developed a crush on you.

- It doesn’t take long for him to shoot his shot but there is a period in time where he’s waiting for the right moment to say something and just doing the typical “I have a crush on you” things.

- When Max has a crush, he’ll do whatever he can to see them more; making sure he’s behind them on his bike as they begin to walk home, sneaking glances at them in class, strategically sitting at a lunch table where he’ll be able to watch them or standing close to their locker.

- Once he’s had enough of just watching, he’ll move on to using any excuse he can to seem cool and/or talk to them. This is usually when he begins to come up with a plot to ask them out and it’s not long after that he actually does so.

- Max asks you out only about a week or so after he moves to Salem. He was just planning on giving you his phone number or asking if you’d like to hang out sometime but things didn’t really go as planned.

- He’d wanted to go out and explore the town by himself but his parents forced him to take Dani with him while they continued to unpack. So, he begrudgingly let his sister join him on his adventure, figuring that the worst that could happen was her slowing him down and slightly annoying him.

- They’d gotten a good ways into town without a hitch; besides Dani forcing him to pick flowers, and Max had just about let his guard down. Well, that was until he saw you.

- He immediately froze in place, greeting you in surprise as you just so happened to turn and spot them. Dani immediately connected the dots as to who you were, she’d heard her brother secretly fawn over you more than once.

- It was only after you glanced down at his hand that Max remembered he was holding his sisters wildflower bouquet. He laughed nervously, raising his hand a bit and trying to make himself seem less like a loser as he explained he was looking after his little sister …and her flowers.

- While Dani is undoubtedly an adorable sweetheart, she is also somewhat devious. She uses this delightful coincidence to get her way, mentioning that Max was “just about to take her to the park”. He was just about ready to kill her before you chimed in.

“Aww, that’s so sweet!” Bingo.

- He immediately acted as though that was the plan all along and invited you to join them while Dani smiled at her obvious success. A cute boy asking you to go to the park with him and his little sister, why wouldn't you agree?

- So you joined the two of them, laughing and watching on fondly as he played with Dani and getting to know each other more and more whenever she went off to do something on her own. You wound up staying there for hours and probably would have stayed even longer if Dani hadn’t mentioned that her feet hurt and that she was tired. 

- If Max had learned anything at all, he learned that you thought it was cute when he was nice to his sister, so he offered her a piggyback ride as the three of you walked home. When you arrived at your house, he set Dani down and walked you to your door. 

”Well, if you ever want to go to the park again, you know who to call.” He smiled, handing you his number before joining back with his sister. 

“Dani? Have I ever told you that I loved you?” The little girl couldn't help but smile at her goofy older brother. 

- The two of you had your first actual date a few days later. He took you to the movies, then to go get some ice cream, and finally you wound up back at the park you’d gone to, sitting on the swing and eating your dessert. 

- He told you that you had something on your face, smiling as he leant in and kissed the corner of your mouth before slowly making his way to your lips. 

- It was in that moment; with your lips pressed against his, that Max thought to himself maybe Salem wasn’t so bad after all. 

- Innocent pda all the time. He just can’t help himself when you’re standing right there and looking so adorable.

- Handholding whenever you can. You swear he’s gonna learn how to be ambidextrous with how much he wants to keep your hand in his.

- Soft, chaste kisses.

- Cheek kisses. He can never hold back a smile when you give him one.

- He likes keeping his arm around your waist while you walk together. He likes how perfectly you fit into his side.

- Tight hugs. He does that thing where you give the person a squeeze and sorta sway with them while you hug, it’s very nice.

- Hugs from behind. He always presses a kiss to your head before he pulls away.

- This boy literally daydreams about cuddling his crush; he’d adore cuddling you anytime, anyplace. He usually wants to be the big spoon but he’d be up for any type of snuggling.

- He leans his head on yours whenever you rest your head on his shoulder.

- Hanging out with him in his widows walk, stargazing or watching the sunset/sunrise.

- He really doesn’t care what the two of you do as long as you’re together.

- Typical teenager dates: going bowling or roller skating, watching movies, getting pizza or ice cream; things like that.

- He tries to make you laugh with little impressions and exaggerative comedic routines.

- Getting teased a lot. He’ll pop out from behind corners to spook you, jokingly mock you and your little superstitions, and attack you from behind, wrapping his arms around you and growling while nuzzling his face into your neck. He thinks your reactions are cute.

- Watching him play his drums. Sometimes he’ll try and teach you how to play, othertimes he’ll just try to show off.

- He really wants you to think he’s cool and to be in awe of him. He’s constantly trying to show off and peacock for your attention.

- He’s quite fond of nicknames and pet names. He uses special ones though, something uniquely you.

- He keeps your photo framed on his nightstand or tucked under his pillow. He kisses it like every morning and night, occasionally talking to it when you’re mad at him or when he doesnt know what to do in a situation. It’s cute ...in an odd way.

- He’s in awe of you everytime he sees you dressed up or after a long time of not seeing each other. Sometimes he just can’t believe how beautiful you are.

- The amount of doodles he’s made of you while in class couldn’t even fit in a normal sketchbook.

- Dani is always interrupting the two of you, busting into his room and jumping between you as you sit on his bed or forcing her way between you two on the couch. She winds up accompanying you on a few of your dates, especially when his parents are busy. He can’t say he’s completely upset about it though, he likes watching you interact with her.

- You and her are probably best friends and occasionally hang out on your own without Max. She’s definitely spilled some embarrasing facts/secrets about Max whether one front of him or not.

- He’s sort of embarrassed by his family and their shenanigans. He turns bright red whenever they start acting all excited/childish. You cant imagine his relief when you assure him that you think its cute.

- He has a little sister so even though he’s a fairly typical teenage boy; he has that “I actually respect females” mindset. To an extent of course, he still can’t help but think about your yabbos from time to time.

- There isn’t a lot that grosses him out anymore since he was already a little grown up by the time his parents had Dani. He had to go through all those yucky baby phases so he has no problem holding your hair as you puke, bandaging your cuts, dealing with periods, wiping dirt off of you, and so on. Life’s gross, he’s accepted that a long time ago.

- Standing up for him. He finds it both embarrassing and touching at the same time.

- Letting him rant to you about how much he misses LA. He always absentmindedly adds on that you’re the only good thing to come out of Salem and it never fails to make you melt.

- Comforting him. He has a tendency to blame himself when things go wrong or work himself into a fit when something bad happens. You try to make sure he doesn't while also making him feel better. He’s always there for you when you need it as well.

- He’s a sweetheart and an adorable one at that. He’s always trying to make you feel better whenever he can and; overall, just being super nice to you. Making sure you’re happy is very important to him.

- He’s got a hard time keeping his mouth shut; he just cant help but say what he wants and not inconspiciously or very quietly either. You’ll oftentimes have to get him out of a situation before he starts more trouble than there has to be.

- Bringing out the best in each other.

- He sends a glance your way whenever someone mentions lovers, couples, or otherwise romantic things. It’s sort of like he’s saying “yeah, I’ve got one of those” or making future plans for the two of you in his head.

- Riding your bikes together or walking alongside him while he purposefully keeps pace with you on his.

- Going on stupid little adventures. They may be a bit reckless but they sure are fun.

- He’s somewhat of a pushover. He can very rarely resist your pleading/puppy dog eyes, especially when its combined with affection. You could genuinely stop him in his tracks with a single touch.

- You’ve definitely convinced him to let you put a face mask on him, braid his hair or do his makeup. Dani may or may not have been present or at least walked in on the two of you. She has not let him live it down since.

- He’s not scared of the supernatural; at least not yet, or spiders/insects, so he leaps at the chance to “protect you”. He tells you to “fear not” as he “vanquishes the beast”, delicately pushing you behind him and killing the thing or calling out to whatever ghouls may be lurking around.

- He insists in walking you home, mainly because it gives him the chance to spend more time with you.

- A trait he’s developed as an older brother is being protective of his loved ones. He won’t let anything happen to you; if he can help it, and usually has a pretty good plan when trying to get you out of trouble.

- He’s not an extremely jealous person. People being outwardly flirty or interested in you would tick him off but he reasons that you want him, not them and then he’s fine. Old boyfriends don’t bother him either, he’s your new and improved boyfriend; what would you want with them.

- He lashes out when he’s upset so you’ve definitely had your fair share of fights though they never last for very long. He immediately feels bad when he notices he’s actually hurt you and does whatever he can to apologize.

- He starts off with a genuine apology before he trying to explain himself, making a few little comments to try and get you to smile afterwards. Once you seem to forgive him, he shyly opens his arms and smiles as you go to hug him.

- He tells you that he loves you a lot; he just can’t help it. Everything you do makes him want to shout it out to the world.

- Prior to meeting you, he didn’t want to go to Salem at all, but now that he has you? He can’t bring himself to even think about leaving it.

[levis-little-nuggie]

What the Ever-loving FUCK Happened in Chapter 16??!?!!

A synopsis/transcript of the events that transpired between the end of Lesson 15 and 16.

15-17: Time Loop 1

Barb shows us to his room and goes over the mission, telling us how to return back to the “present” after finding out about the door

15-20: no title

Open to Mammon’s room, all the brothers are in there bc they’re trying to get Lucifer and MC together, like a horror/scary thing to set the mood; the purpose to get Lucifer and MC alone together to open up; MC’s portal opens up and plops them in Mammon’s room with all the brothers; Lucifer and MC are in Levi’s room to play the game. We leave Mammon's room and immediately have to hide

16-1: Time Loop 2

Lucifer and MC are coming out of Levi's room and we're forced to hide in Lilith’s hidden room.

16-6: Time Loop 3

MC finds themselves standing face-to-face with Belphie, the attic door is open, and he starts hugging MC.

16-10: no title

Belphie kills us, then we’re speaking to a voice (Lilith's soul had been trapped, “I knew I picked the right person, I’ve been waiting for so long, you see. I’ve been waiting for you to come find me...after my death I remembered who I was, ever since becoming a soul, I’ve been watching over them, and in that time, I’ve forgotten how to get to the Celestial Realm.”) 

16-12: The Reunion

Brothers are standing over MC’s corpse and Belphie is out of the attic. There's a flashback of Barb telling us to find out how/who opened the attic door and not to be seen by anyone; however the brothers see us and the body Mammon is holding disappears; MC talks about Lilith having lived happily as a human.

16-15: no title

“I tell everyone the story as I heard it from Lucifer;” Diavolo comes in and informs MC they’re Lilith’s descendent. All the brothers start hugging MC and Diavolo asks: “Do you want to hug MC too, Belphegor?”

16-17: The Truth Revealed

Belphie tells us it’s his fault he couldn’t protect Lilith but Lucifer says it was his fault. The screen goes black and we're left with the assumption Lucifer lays out everything we already know based on what he revealed earlier in lesson 11 and in MC's flashbacks of Lucifer swearing loyalty to Diavolo.

16-19: no title

Barb is making and serving tea to the brothers, everyone’s in a good mood.

Lesson 17 starts with everyone acting awkward now with Belphie out of the attic and MC is now tasked with mending his relationships with all the brothers.

But wait, aren't we missing something?

You're right. We are.

16-A: Stuck Waiting

Levi: *sigh*

Asmo: Ugh, Levi, how many times have you sighed now?

Levi: I dunno, maybe 10 or so?

Satan: No it’s been 30 times at least

Asmo: Yes but what about you, Satan? How many cups of tea have you had, hmm? You know, if that stomach of yours gets all bloated from tea, i’m going to find you much less appealing

Satan: I couldn’t care less whether you find me appealing or not, Asmo. Also, instead of criticizing me, how about you say something to mammon here

Mammon: *mumble* … man this sucks so much … *grumble*

Asmo: Mammon, do you think maybe you could stop pacing around the room grumbling to yourself?

Levi: yeah, it’s super annoying

Mammon: Shaddup! How can I sit still at a time like this, huh? I mean MC went to the PAST!... Alone! Lke, MC may seem like someone who’s really got it together and stuff, but there’s a real boneheaded streak there that pops up at the weirdest times! Boneheaded, weak, and super reckless. Oh, and too damn gutsy! You never know when Marcie’s gonna take some sorta crazy risk! And like, that makes me wanna be there just in case. Like I GOTTA be there, or who knows what’ll happen?

Levi: Mmhm, sure, MC is SOOO special to you… What, are we supposed to be impressed or something?

Asmo: ooh I know exactly what you mean! It’s like you can’t help but what to lie down together on a bed or a sofa and do all sorts of naughty things- 

Satan: You’d better not do that Asmo

Asmo: excuse me? Could that be jealousy I hear, Satan? Relax. I won’t deny that MC is cute, but still, I think you’re pretty cute too Satan, so no need to worry

Levi: Yeah, MC really IS totally cute, don’t you think? And sort of … hard not to like… *grumbles*

Asmo: wait a minute… Levi, am I hearing what I think i’m hearing

Satan: You’ve only ever been interested in yout anime characters. Levi, has something changed?

Mammon: Whoa, is it just me or does that totally sound like a sign that Armageddon’s about to hit?

Levi: hey come on! Stop looking at me like that! Um...um...Asmo! You should go to the past and check to see how things are going!

Asmo: excuse me/ I know you’re just trying to change the subject, but don’t be ridiculous! I mean, you know that’s impossible. The doors into the past are inside Barbatos’s room, you realize?

Levi: Sure, but can’t you use your powers to charm Barbatos or something?

Asmo: ugh… no thank you! I mean, we’re really talking about Barbatos. If my powers did work on him, who knows what he might do to me once he ends up charmed? He might kill me, and i’m too young for that.

Mammon: pff, what’re ya, chicken?

Asmo: okay them why don’t you go seduce him, Mammon?

Mammon: Me? Um...really? … … Oh no no no no! No way that’s happening!

Asmo: but you really considered it for a second there, didn’t you? You considered seducing Barbatos!

Mammon: N-no, I didn’t! I mean, if it were MC, that’d be another story…!

Levi: You don’t need to remind us that you’ve got it bad for MC, Mammon. Keep it to yourself.

Satan: Well, powers of seduction don’t work on MVC to begin with, so you couldn’t do it even if you wanted to. Come to think of it...why are we all so hung up on MC anyways? It’s hard to believe that a simple human could have this kind of effect on us.

Asmo: hmm…I guess MC is just special, you know?

Mammon: ...yeah right. Special, that’s it!

Asmo: Still, let’s be honest. When it comes down to it, out of all of us, I’m the only one Marcie has eyes for!

Mammon: ...huh? What’re you talkin’ about?

Asmo: well it’s only natural, right? I mean, show me a human who doesn’t find me absolutely irresistible

Levi: ...well i’ll have you know that MC said that i was a true friend

Mammon: You’re all dumb as stumps! Have you all forgotten? I was MC’s first, after all, so clearly I’M the one deservin’ of all the love!

Satan: *blushing profusely*...

Asmo; mammon, don’t be intentionally misleading! You ‘ve got satan here thinking that you actually WERE MC’s first. Satan, what Mammon really means is that he was the first one to make a pact, okay?

Satan:...pff, like i care

Levi: if you don’t care, then why do you look so relieved? We can all see it on your face, Satan

Mammon: oh MC…! MC! Come back to us dammit! And soon!

Levi: Wait a minute! Where’d Beel go?

Asmo: Beel? Um, he was right there a second ago. 

Satan: Maybe he went to find Belphie?

16-C: no title

Beel: ...Belphie? Are you in there?

Lucifer: Shh, quiet

Beel: …! Lucifer!

Lucifer: he seems to be asleep

Beel: …

Lucifer: Beel, there’s something I need to talk to you about

Beel: What?

Lucifer: When belphie disappeared, you were the one who it hurt the most

Beel:…

Lucifer: I shouldnt’ have lied and told you he was up in the human world. It was wrong of me. Also, i knew how hard it was for you, but i couldn’t bring myself to talk to you about it… i’m sorry

Beel: Forget it. It’s fine. Belphie’s back now, so it’s fine.

Lucifer: Beel…

B: but to make up for it, Lucifer… from now on, i want you to trust the rest of us more. Look to us for help and support when you need it. Not just me. I mean all of us - including Belphie

Lucifer: But what if that still isn’t enough, even with all of us working together? What then?

Beel: that’s easy. At times like that...you can call on MC to help, of course. Isn’t that right?

L: Yeah. That’s right. 

Beel: I sure hope MC comes back soon. 

Lucifer: Yeah. And by the time that happens, Belphie will probably have woken up, too.

That's right. There exists a dimension where they don't get their MC back. The MC from that dimension has replaced the MC that Belphie killed.

Diavolo and Barb sent MC back in time to figure out who or how the attic door opened. MC had been acting under the notion that they needed the power equivalent of having pacts with all 7 brothers to open the door yet, even in the time loop it's still not clear. One moment we're hiding in Lilith's secret room and the next, we're standing in front of Belphie and the door is open.

[occasionalsnippets]

Escapism AU (Y/n) & Passione

This is mostly about mc’s interactions with the gang including a bit of La Squadra and Unita Speciale. I’ll probably add more as I think.

Bucciarati’s Gang 

Mc crashes at their house from time to time even though she has her own apartment

This either because she wants to sleep over for fun

Or because she’s finished a mission and their house is closer

Sometimes she shows up at 2 AM and just passes out on their couch

It happens more often than it should

Bruno eventually gives her a copy of the key

She steals food from the fridge too but makes up for it by buying groceries

They leave a toothbrush and cup for her in one of the bathrooms since she comes over so much

Before everyone was recuited, there were extra bedrooms in the house that weren’t being used

They left a guest room for mc but she doesn’t use it all the time, opting to pass out on the couch first

Either Bruno or Abbacchio usually brings her to her room though Abbacchio would never admit to it

Mista draws on her face with marker sometimes but leaves her on the couch most of the time. He can’t ruin her cute face all the time

Narancia cuddles with her on the couch or join Mista in doodling

Fugo leaves her on the couch but gets a blanket and readjusts her position if it’s uncomfortable

However, after Mista got recruited, mc gave up her room so Mista didn’t have to room with anyone

Now, she just sleeps on the couch or whoever’s okay with her borrowing their bed

She has tried several times to get them to wear normal clothes outside (they dressed perfectly normally before joining the mafia!) and only about half those times did it actually work

Mc is strong enough carry everyone in the group bridal style

The only ones who gets particularly mouthy when she does is Abbacchio and Mista but only because Mista wants to carry her too

She joins Fugo, Narancia and Mista in doing stupid things but it’s fun

She knows the torture dance

Mc isn’t technically a part of their team but they consider her to be because of how often she stays over and tags along for missions

She doesn’t expect anyone to really like her the way they do despite how obvious their feelings are

Part of it is because she isn’t supposed to be in this universe in the first place, that she’s an outsider of sorts. She’s here to make sure they don’t die

The other part of it is the guilt of leaving them to die in the first timeline. She feels like she doesn’t deserve how highly they think of her because of how readily she was to let fate run it’s course the first time around, even if they don’t remember it

She’s sooner die then let any of them do the same

Giorno

Mc meets Giorno before he’s recruited into the gang since she does go to the same school as him even though she doesn’t really show up to classes that often

She’s about 2 years older than Giorno

They became friends prior to his hair turning blond and she almost didn’t recognize him but his eyes are rather distinctive

When it did turn blond, mc got a vaguely panicked call in the morning from him saying his hair turned blond for some reason

She’s the first person to braid his hair with the needlessly extra loop at the end after it turned blond

She wasn’t sure how the donuts worked but the next time she saw him he had the signature donut hair so she guessed he figured out how to do it

It becomes routine for her to braid Giorno’s hair when she notices it’s undone

She gave him a crash course on stands when he found out she had one

They spend a lot of time in libraries

Mc insists on paying for food when they get lunch together though Giorno always refuses

I feel like Giorno lowkey craves intimacy?

Mc calls him “GioGio” sometimes

Trish

Hmmmmm, gay

I really like Trish hence why she’s included in the harem

Out of everyone in the gang guarding her, she’s the closest with mc since they’re both girls which is also why Bruno assigns mc to her the most often

Convenient for Trish since it means more time to flirt

Unfortunately, mc does fall under the “are we just being nice to each other or are we flirting” when Trish is just about ready to ask for her hand in marriage

She’s flirting, no doubt

Trish lets mc rest her head on her thighs which mc can confirm is very comfortable

Trish is one of the two people she trusts to do her make up, the other one being Abbacchio

You know that picture where there’s one girl sitting on the other girl doing her makeup

That’s basically Trish and mc

Post-Vento Aureo, they stay in contact and remain good friends as Trish pursues a career as a singer

Narancia

Mc joined Fugo on that walk where they found Narancia in the alleyway so she’s partially responsible for him joining the mafia

They bring him to Libecco where Bruno is and he gets food before going to the hospital to get his eye treated like in canon

She goes shopping with him after he’s out of the hospital

They get normal clothes but the next she sees him, he’s wearing his canon outfit and she wonders why she even bothered with his fashion sense in the first place

She’s the one who buys him his bandana that he wears in his canon outfit

They’re pretty cute together actually

She calls him “Nara” 

While she isn’t available all the time to help Fugo tutor him, when she is around, she tries her best to help

They listen to music together and mc ends up reccomending a lot though some songs haven’t come out yet so she’s only able to play them on her phone

“If I run and jump at (Y/n), she’ll definately catch me!” “Wait, I’m holding a mug-” *Drops the mug and catches Narancia*

Hugs with Narancia often end with his face buried in the crook of her neck

Fugo

Probably the one mc goes with on missions the most

Part of it is because they’re the closest in age prior to everyone else joining, another part is due to mc’s nullifying ability effectively making her immune to Purple Haze’s virus

Mc be like “if I got infected with purple haze’s virus, I would simply become immune. rip to everyone else but I’m different.”

Still, Fugo is still very cautious when it comes to pulling out Purple Haze

Fugo buys her lavender hand lotion once and she decided she liked it so she continued to use it

He sorta associates lavender with mc

Mc buys him strawberry earrings. Sometimes she spontaneously buys stuff that reminds her of him

Fugo isn’t particularily fond of contact (backstory trauma) so mc tries to keep it to a minimum unless he gives an okay

Probably a few missions together where mc saves him, they’re walking down a street together and he just slips his hand into hers

Asadlskjh, I want them to hold hands

When she’s doing school assignments over at the Bucci house, Fugo helps her look over and proofread them despite the fact she has access to the internet through her phone and can search stuff literally from the future (not that he knows). She appreciates the input

I think that after Fugo leaves the group during Vento Aureo, I would like to bring him back somehow before the end of Vento Aureo

Abbacchio

He didn’t like mc at first, no surprises here, but after they went on a few missions together where she saved his life, he begrudgingly opened up

She reminds him of his dead partner due to how reckless she is in saving people

She an idiot but she’s his idiot

He’s likely one of the most worried when she gets hurt since he doesn’t want to lose another person who died protecting him

Abbacchio does come off as very tsundere seeing how prickly he is to everyone except Bruno but everyone except for mc notices that he isn’t that prickly to her either

Mc doesn’t expect him to like her to any degree so whenever anyone points out that he’s nicer to her, she’s like “what?”

They have late night talks a lot

Abbacchio stays up late drinking and mc doesn’t sleep consistently enough

Sometimes they go up to the roof of the house to talk

She has fallen alseep on him multiple times. His tiddies make great pillows. 

Generally, she’s got her head resting on his tiddies, one arm hanging over his body, the other spawled out somewhere. He keeps one arm around her head and the other around her waist

Bruno

Mc with Bruno is oddly domestic?

she helps around the house, buying groceries, helping out in the kitchen and cleaning from time to time

Bruno appreciates it a lot

If Abbacchio and mc have late night talks, Bruno and her have early morning talks when everyone else is asleep and the sun is just barely rising

Bruno keeps telling her it isn’t healthy to sleep only 3 hours so he convinces her to fall asleep for a few more hours

He spoils her a lot and brings her to cafes

Bruno is one of the last people she would expect to like her more than a friend due to the “bruno’s a mom” memes and he’s nice to everyone (almost everyone, excluding ememies), there’s no way he would like her more

Sure, he kisses the crown of her head and the back of her hand from time to time and they cook together

But they’re just good friends, right?

He frequently lectures her on being more careful and not being so reckless

Mista

They discuss weird stuff a lot

The combination of mc’s general knowledge of random things due to the internet and Mista’s bad timing when bringing up topics leads to interesting conversations

Like, your tongue never sits comfortably in your mouth, your skeleton is wet, are you inside your skeleton or is your skeleton inside you?

Mc is always in a constant state of worry when he’s on a mission because his bullets always end up in his own body something

The only reason he isn’t dead yet is because his dumb*ss aura surrounds him

Mc qualifies as a cute girl 11/10

He flirts with her casually and the pistols tell her his thought even when he doesn’t want them to but she never seems to notice

“You’ve been flirting with me?” “Have been for the last year, thanks for noticing.”

Mc gets Mista a gun holster after the events of Vento Aureo because he really shouldn’t be tucking his gun in his pants like that

If someone was really angry, they could lean over and shoot his d*ck off

La Squadra

I sorta debated whether la squadra should be a part of the harem or not but I think mostly no

That’s because I don’t really have an age range for them but Risotto’s like 28 and big age gaps are creepy. So, I guess for some of the la squadra members, it’s up to interpretation whether it’s romantic or platonic. I’m inclined towards platonic though

I’m not sure if I want to save Sorbet and Gelato yet

Mc, of course, goes along for missions as she’s ordered to

La squadra is so broke. Why doesn’t Diavolo pay them more? They literally kill people for their job

Mc doesn’t crash at their house very often but she stops by to hang out and drop off food

She buys them groceries when she notices their fridge is super empty. She doesn’t need them to pay her back (her paycheck is suprisingly big), but they should stop eating takeout all the time

She usually calls Risotto to ask if there’s anything specific they want

She’s rather fond of Pesci. They go fishing together when they have time

Illuso and mc are gossip buddies

Melone gets kink shamed during missions

Ghiaccio and mc have gone ice skating together before

I don’t really have anything else for the others... I’ll think about it

When Vento Aureo begins, mc is trying to save them though she isn’t directly working with them

La Unita Speciale

These are pretty random

Tizano and Squalo are gay, mc was there when they proposed to each other

Mc gets ordered to buy food when they have meetings though it’s pretty rare

When she does show up to drop off food, it’s a constant feeling of “let me leave quicker please” because Cioccolata is freaky

She thinks she runs into Doppio way too often when she’s doing missions

The only good thing about it is that Doppio is pretty nice when Diavolo isn’t kicking about. On one hand, Doppio=nice, on the other Doppio=Diavolo

Mc feeds Secco sugar cubes when Cioccolata isn’t looking

She would not trust Cioccolata to patch up any of her wounds, he’s likely to dissect her

Mc gets missions through calls and emails but sometimes Doppio’s around to tell her what they are 

[yuriprince]

i stumbled across a bunch of old hinata fe hcs i had back in the day and i am compiling them here on the new blog cuz theyre cute and i miss my puppy man

(i’ve also adjusted them a little bit to align more with my current hcs for him)

- hinata is an only child and likes to think of takumi as his little brother

- disaster bi with a slight preference for women, as well as a sex-favorable ace

- i also can’t get the t4t hinata/oboro hc out of my head. it’s so good. honestly the entire ponytail squad is t4t. t4t4t

- kinda sorta had a crush on oboro when he first met her. he got over it real quick when she began showing interest in takumi

- he has, at one point or another, had some sort of crush on every girl in the army. plus subaki, cuz who doesn’t have a crush on subaki?

- actually a pretty good cook. his favorite thing to make is onigiri because it’s easy and takumi loves it

- really, really, really wants a dog

- is deathly afraid of heights. he hides this fact to seem cooler

- *wants to appear manly and cool, loves sunflowers anyway*

- his parents had him not long after they got married, and on the day before their wedding day, his father gave his mother a sunflower. this was the initial inspiration for his name

- they actually thought they were having a girl and planned on naming her himawari, which literally means sunflower. when they had a boy instead, they decided on the name hinata, which has a similar translation

- the reason he wants to travel so badly is his mother used to be a traveling merchant before settling down to start a family. she told hinata all kinds of stories about all kinds of places

- their home is filled with odds and ends his mother picked up on her travels and couldn’t sell

- hina’s mom had kind of a rough life, and he wishes he could undo all of it because she deserves the world in his eyes

- and the reason he loves wide open fields so much is his father used to do his samurai training there (he liked the solitude), and sometimes he’d bring hinata along. hinata strongly associates meadows and fields with his father and all the memories spent sparring and getting stronger there

- the scar under his eye he got from his father while they were training. he still feels bad about it years later

- when i designed hinata’s parents all those years ago i based his dad off of hanzo from overwatch, and now i have a very special place in my heart for hanzo :)

- thanks to all the small injuries and scars he has accumulated over his career, hinata’s pain tolerance is quite high. i mean, have you seen his defense stat?

- getting hurt that often does have its drawbacks, however, and he has a hard time understanding that. he tends to be reckless in battle, especially when takumi’s life is on the line, and gets himself hurt unnecessarily a lot. but he says he’s fine with it because at least takumi is okay

- he initially didn’t want to be takumi’s retainer. he really didn’t have a choice thanks to his lineage and his family’s reputation as protectors of the royal family. he was expected to follow along with that tradition. although he had other plans for himself, (i.e. to travel and just do whatever the hell he wanted) he felt like he couldn’t say no

- takumi had a large inferiority complex even when he was young, and hinata knew that better than anyone. even if he didn’t want to at first, he still cared about him. he had to. takumi’s wellbeing was his wellbeing, whether he liked it or not

- so hinata stuck as close as possible to takumi and tried everything in his power to keep him as happy as possible. soon enough it became second nature and he started acting that way with everyone he met

- despite being really cute and nice and all around an amazing person, he’s afraid nobody actually wants him around because he’s annoying them :(

- god i have so many faves that fall into that “really bubbly and energetic but are afraid of being too annoying and not having any friends” trope. what does that say about me

[popculturebuffet]

The Owl House: Enchanting Grom Fright: Happy Valentine’s Gays

Happy Valentine’s Day owl ladies, gentleman and non-binary folks! It’s time to finish off this holiday in proper style with a LONG overdue review of enchanting Grom Fright and even longer overdue coverage of the Owl House.  The Owl House was one of the best debuts of last year if not THE best, only in contention because Close Enough also started last year and looks to surpass regular show in terms of quality. But with stunning animation, tons of representation, and colossal worldbuilding. And given how i’m on record for thinking Star Vs went so far down the tubes they bumped into where Cthulu is sleeping, it’s nice to have another magic based show that seems to be on the right track: carefully building i’ts world, supporting cast and for today’s topic main romance. It also rather than just obliquely hint one character was bi and the other pan, actually goes out of it’s way to have a bisexual protaginst with a gay love intrest. As my good friend @jess-the-vampire has brought up quite a bit, star had plnety of options. .but no willingness to actually campaign for any queer rep, the way Gravity Falls head Alex Hirsch tried to, he still gets credit for trying, and Owl House creator Dana Terrace gets full credit for. 

Terrace got her start working on Gravity Falls in line production before working her way up to directing for ducktales, being instrumental in how Webby was animated and how she moves and acts, and being the director for several classic season one episodes including “Woo-Hoo!”, “The Spear of Selene” , “Day of the Only Child!” which was one of my faviorites from season 1 and “The Beagle Birthday Massacre!”. And while I can’t 100% confirm she’s the only part responsible for starting Weblena, given she was director on an episode where a lot of the romantic subtext was in the visuals, she certainly helped so thank you Dana. Thank you a lot. Their adorable. Point is she’s a talented lady and wasn’t satisfied with directing, so she pitched her own show, combining tons of ides and stuff including of all things, Pokemon Red. I checked the article wikipedia had sourced, it was one of her happy childhood memories as it was one of the last things her dad gave her. Awwwwwww. That’s as sweet as it is painful. She’s also currently dating Alex Hirsch, something I was entirely unaware of but find also adorable. Point is i’m glad I looked into her as she’s a very nice person, and very much my kind of weirdo and i’m happy for her sucess and her singuarly weird show that sprung from that sucess. 

Now that part of it’s out of the way the episode itself was an uphill battle as you’d expect. As anyone familiar with this blog is aware, but just in case your new, you tend to hear me bitching about Disney’s handling of queer represntation a LOT

For the most part Disney’s pretty bad at it: There was the string of “FIRST GAY CHARACTER IN AN X” they had going for a while.. that consisted of a character I dind’t realize was gay, a kiss I didn’t see, and a talk with a character who I honestly wouldn’t of been looking for had disney not patted themselves on the back with some giant sized hands because htey saved some pym particles for that occasion. Ducktales was unable to have Penumbra come out as gay more clearly because I don’t know Ducks can’t be day.. but they can be IMPLIED to be gay or pansexual as hard as the crew possibly can so they win anyway. Pixar was able to have a gay lead character for one of it’s sparks shorts out and even focused on him coming out of the closet and it’s very good and something I WILL give Pixar credit for... but not Disney Plus who go out of their way to not mention the lead being gay.. despite the fact the short opens with a gay space cat riding a gay space dog out of a rainbow and then it being revaled our lead is in a relationship not long into the short. My point is the idiots who won’t watch this for having gay characters are just going to turn it off, who cares what they think, why are you like this Disney. They need to do better, and be better and i’m getting tired of this shit.

That being said... this episode is a step in the right directoin as despite having to get past one obstructive asshole, not her words but damn if it isn’t the truth, as the rest of hte execs were fine with having a gay character, Terrace fought hard for it and WON, having a clearly gay character, and a clear road to a gay romace as the lead one, all because she wanted some representation in her works. So to honor this, I present this review in honor of love, effort and saying screw you to not having represntation because money. Join me under the cut and allt hat. 

We open in the owl house, in the owl house, duck dodge push and shove, it’s how we show our love in the.. you get the point. Luz is learning yet another Rune, this time plant runes.. and already something I love about the series pops up: the fact Luz’s rise in skill is gradual but noticable. Each spell noticably improves in potency with time,  going from simple lights to shaping them into simple constructs, and learning to control or time her spells and glpyhs so they launch she she says so, with each one getting more powerful the more she learns. And on top of that osmething I just noticed on rewatch of this episode is her tecnique in finding them evolved, something I dind’t notice the first time because I hadn’t fully caught up and checked this one out to see if Disney would actually let them go through with it.. and they did. Point is her first spell is found by accident, her second by realizing how her magic works fundemntally, both require skilled deduction and on the fly thinking and casting, so she’s already pretty skilled.. but now sh’es ACTIVELY seeking out a new spell here for the first time. She knows how she gets them, she knows each school is tied to a form, and she likely got the plant from williow since that’s her thing and she’s a saint. A demon but also a saint. They can have those too. It’s what I assume relicor is. 

I miss that goblin demon bat man. Point is it shows an evolution in Luz’s thinking: while it’s a subtle thing she took a more proactive approach this time even if it took a lot of practice.. and it pay soff as by the time of her next rune, while it’s once again sorta handed to her she has less time to learn it, almost none, and finds it singed onto a ball.. and learns it effortlessly to the point where by the next episode it’s a crucial plot point. IT’s subtle but clever character progression, and stuff I really enjoy, showing our hero going from a bit inept but not helpless or incomptient.. to a force to be reckconed with and far more clever and strategic than yo’ud expect given her sometimes reckless and almost always happy go lucky attitude. 

Luz worries teaching King about the internet was a bad idea because he gets excited about a literal cat fight which .. yeah... it was a bad idea but not because of that.. but because next he finds someone saying the earth is flat and she wisely yanks it away. It’s.. very sad that the absolutley maddening and easily debunked flat earth theory is still RELATIVLEY more sane than the stuff we’ve had pop up during the trump era and the cornoavirus pandemic. 

But one of the main conlficts of the episode pops up as Luz’s mom messages her and Luz can’t bring herself to tell her anything and just sends a thumbs up.  I do think this episode helps even things from the pilot a bit as it was a bit lopsided: While I got that Camillia was genuinely struggling with how to deal with Luz, and was offered an out and had to take it... the fact she sees NO problem with the normalcy camp, which comes off intentioanlly or not a sa parallel to conversion camps or camps to make autistic kids “Normal”. And as someone whose both bisexual and autistic, I naturally relate to luz way more as someone whose intrests sometimes just don’t quite fit with everyone else, and who dosen’t get how bad some of their actions were.  THat’s why this episode feels like a necessary course correction: Luz is shown to genuinely love her mama and feel guilty.. but we see camilia genuinlely loves and supports her daughter a bit more. While it was clear from the pilot this shows it more, with her genuinely just wanting to know her daughter’s okay and checking up on her, and giving me the feeling that possible consequences or no if something bad WAS happening or she didn’t hear from her for a long time, she would’ve drove up there to get her. It feels like the writers realized the implications they accidently created and wanted to fix it, though I can’t say for certain. But if so good on you for course correcting, not every show does that. 

But King encourages her, telling her she’s doing the right thing by lying and to “trust the demon on your shoulder”. Keep this in mind for later, but that joke is great on it’s own. But soon i’ts time for school and Hooty.. barfs out Luz’s books for her. 

I haven’t been this disturbed since.. (Looks at the clock) About 2 maybe three hours ago when I watched a man have, if apparently shorter than the oriiginal cut as I wanted to see everyone else’s reactions dammit, sex with hiis car which was possesed by the mad ghost of his dead wife. Because that’s the kind of stuff i’m into when i’m not reviewing stuff. And before that Tinky.. just everything about tinky. 

I do not have enough time to get into TInky here or why he exestially horrifies me. Or why Jeff blim is a living god. I will save that for a proper review if I have the time tomorrow. Point is I saw a lot today and that still tops it. Willow and Gus are likewise grossed out and want to leave. 

Cut to school where Luz wonders what’s with all the decorations.. that remind me of this honestly

And frankly given the whole state of the boiling isles it REALLY wouldn’t surprise me if the decorations were indeed well cooked faces. But i’ts Grom time, which means elaborate gromposals (Some Dude asks Skara out with a beating heart and an elaborate medical proposal.. which.. points for effort. And for using an actual heart. Couldn’t get one for mine. ), dancing and someone being chosen for Grom Queen. WHich Willow hints isn’t as nice as that sounds. Before we can get into that though Amity bumps into them and gets into a tizzy before meekly greeting “Luz.. and Co”. which.. not going to lie.. is my faviorite gag of the season. Just htw way she adds them and just the way Willow and Guz both smile widely at it as if to say “That’s us!”. Amity drops a note and snatches it back. This will be important later, you all know why, point is Amity becomes Grom Queen.. and is heavily depressed with Luz following her to find out why.  At the gym.. she does indeed ifnd out why: Turns out Grom is not some mutation of an earthname but is based around a horrifying entity lurking beneath the isles, Gromethious the Fear Bringer, who emerges from his slumber once a year and must be fought back and brings out his target’s greatest fears. Just like groundhog day only with less time loops and rodent abuse. Amity is scared of hers, and i’ll obviously get into this more later, and Luz simply suggests asking bump to opt out and Amity appricates the support. Awwww. 

Luz heads home and we find out Eda is chaperoning and King is mcing. Eda is also rocking a suit. Just damn girl, damn. But Luz considers taking her place.. and gets laughed at, with Eda assuming she’ll have to save her and King just being kind of a dick. I mean he’s a loveable thoroughly cuddly dick but he’s still a dick... just more like a stuffed plushie of one.  So basically exactly like Tinky. Look I mention him more than once in this review he dosen’t put me in the bastard box. It’s a great system.  Naturally this makes Luz more determined than ever to prove herself and she finds Amity in the night, with Amity having been unable to get out of it.. and Bumps a resonable guy, he just wants a substitute and no one wants the job.. except Luz who galdly volunteers and insists ntohing scares her before the giant spider on the back of her head proves otherwise. Because of course it does, spiders are fucking terrifying. Kill then all.. except the pokemon ones. Galvaltula are sweethearts. As are Ariadoses. Sweethearts who can elctorcute or poison you but still. 

So the next way Luz begins preparing.. and by that I mean it’s time for training. Sadly we don’t get an episode of Luz and Amity getting trapped in an 80′s fashion montage... I mean yes Rise of the TMNT also did that plot the same year, but we had two diffrent plots about someone getting trapped in an eldtrich sitcom and a THIRD this year, all entertaingly unique. Though we do get Luz pulling out an otter suit that’s adorable and she sadly still hasn’t worn yet. “This one says i’m an otter, with a dark side”. She also got thrown out of a school dance for.. wearing an otter suit. Okay the other things we saw in the pilot were understandable but htis is just.. baffling. Who cares what you wear to a dance as long as it isn’t horribly racist of nothing at all. 

Damn you flanders and your glorious ass. Point is Amity shows up and threatens hooty’s life because.. he’s hooty. The fact he isn’t dead already is a testiment to how badass he is and how much money he’d cost Eda to replace. Owl Tubes don’t come out of a stygian hole in the unvierse every day you know. That’s only every three years. It’s basic styigan owl tube science. 

But Amity wants her to be ready and that she’ll have to face her greatest fear.. and cue hooty popping up, poking amity in the face and asking if she wants to know her greatest fear. Really he can clearly hear everything in the house given he heard that, so he heard the death threat he just chose to ignore it. That.. was a mistake. And by mistake I mean we get a hilarious cut to the outside of the house as Luz tries to stop her love intrest from murdering her second mom’s tube monster. The result is some bandages and an eyepatch. To be fair that last one was just flaring up from a  previous beating. 

For this solem task of training, Amity has brought in her local disaster bisexuals.. aka her twin siblgins Eldric and Elmyra, whose greatest fears are dying alone and being stuck with Eldric. Both understandable. They conjur luz’s greatest fears which are.. some of the funniest shit I heard all year.. and also very relatable. Human souls in cat bodies, which is genuinely terrifying good job Luz, Jerks on the internet who mansplain things, relatable, and soy milk. 

But Amity knows this is just the openign act. it needs to be something deeper.. so while Luz dosen’t realize it’s probably her mom issues she brings up her issues with her other mom: that Eda dosen’t think she can do this. Hence we get a giant eda putting Luz in a babychair. Before we can unpack how wrong that sentence sounded, Eda comes out, and marvels at how hot giant her is. But she’s quickly distracted from sex with a giant version of herself, which is not an easy feat, by the relization “Wait Luz is going to fight grom isn’t she.. fuck i’m going to have to save her”, though Luz holds firm on doing it to prove she’s fine and dosen’t need to be saved constantly. it’s a good conflict. Eda IS right that Luz is not ready for this alone, that she’s overcompensating and that Eda would, in normal circumstances be the one to rescue her. As we’ll see it’s not her who does it but still, were this any other foe she probably would be. But Luz’s motivations are equally understandable: She wants to help her friend not have to do this and she wants to prove she can do it. She just wants her mentor, the only person in her life up to meeting her that GNEUINELY supported her in magic to respect her. To have faith in her and actually see how far she’s come. And given how her own mother writes off her dreams, if not unrealistically, and before this she had no friends or support system to speak of outside her mom, it’s easy to see why this is so improtant to Luz: she just wants to make the one person in her life whose ever support her actually think it was worth it when in truth Eda already thinks it does and just dosen’t want her to die. 

She’s just not good with talking to her or not condescending to her as her own ego is stacked sky high, probably because the whole curse thing meant Eda was an outcast by default and the system wants to either chain her to one form of magic and one only or shackle her to them as a hired goon. Her ego, while justified, is also a defense mechanism: a way to shield herself from the fact almost no one cares about her and one of the few people who DOES, dosen’t care what she wants or needs. Once the curse happened she lost just about everything and had to rebuild and thus build up walls around herself and kept everyone else at arms length till Luz changed her for the better. It’s just a tragic clash of two wills both with similar problems but both unwilling to talk about them. 

But with time up, our heroes need to get to the diggity dance. So they indeed do and we get some fun sight gags, Willow makes corsages,  that one girl with the cresent head somehow ended up with Mathomule and is not happy, as anyone who ends up with him should. And it’s time for Luz to face her destiny.. in a tux with a tutu because of course, and Amity likes it because also of course. 

IT’s time to rumble, with King getting nervous due to eda’s prodding about mcing since his co-mc gus is really good at it, and introducing our champion.

No wait sorry he’s still trapped in Mojoworld. no it’s still Luz who shows off a seasons worth of skill by easily dispatching the first few fears and saying to grom let’s finish it.. before grom puts a tentacle on her head. 

It’s to downlaod her fear.. which is Camillia. Granted we could all see it coming but still Luz obviously can’t fight her own mother or her own overwhelming guilt.. her mom did hurt her.. but she gets why and just loves her and wants her to be proud but dosen’t know what to do: tell her the trutha nd possibly loose a happy and fufilling life or wait until it all blows up. It’s a painful choice. So luz and king end up running. King runs first because he can’t handle it and Gus talks him back into the groove while Luz runs away because she can’t fight her own mom, understandable, and Gus encourages king to lead the crowd which he does. Amity and Eda follow Luz. 

So Luz is backed down, facing down a monster tha’ts going to go on to everyone else next if she fails... and Eda prepares to interfere.. but it’s AMITY who faces her fear and dives in. And we find out just what her fear was as grom turns into a humanoid shape and rips the letter in half.. it was a grom invitation. Though conviently the who it’s adressed to was ripped out. 

And yeah not going to save this one: It’s Luz. You know it I know it I didn’t even hide it in the intro. Even before the reveal in a bit it was obvious. But it also makes perfect sense. I’ve avoided talking about her character arc up to this point because I was waiting for now. Amity’s growth is the third major arc of the season behind Luz’s slow learning of magic and eventually induction into hexside and eda’s curse, which I lump in with Lilith chasing her since both were mildly entertwined and then entirely are once the reveal hits in the finale. When we meet her she’s an outright bully.. but we slowly see there’s more there. That she’s not really HAPPY or content, is contstantly under pressure by her family name, is outright bullied by her own siblings who don’t understand her. So Luz coming in, seemingly only being intrested in magic because i’ts neat.. understandably bothers her. She’s not a great person, bullying her old best friend because tha’ts what’s expected and being close with outright bullies because of that.. but it’s through Luz she starts to grow, realizing Luz is genuinely nice and genuinely sorry for any trouble she caused Amity, and evne then both cases were causaed by Amity’s own dickishness and outside forces, so it’s easy to see why she defrosts faster. Her siblings realize they’ve genuinely hurt her, and actually try to be good siblings from then on and help her, and slowly Amity learns to truth luz, trust in her, and accept her... and thus accept her feelings for her. There are gradual hints she’s growing attracted to her.. but her walls had to come down first, and it wouldn’t of worked from the outset. The show cleverly has the two build a genuine friendship, two opposities who work well together, so when feelings do happen it feels natural. It’s not “I’m in love with this person because I have to because you can’t be friends with someone your attracted to” bullshit or anything like that, cough star vs cough, it’s just well built catching feelings. I’ts how this kind of thing SHOULD go: niether went in intending for this to happen.. it’s just happening. 

And Amity’s reluctance is painfully understandable, as Luz is the ONLY friend and support she has. Sure she and willow are patching things up, but WIllow would understandably choose luz over her and she’s terrified of loosing the one good thing in her life. Of course Luz would either say yes, and probably will some day, or let her down gently, she’s nice.. but it’s also understandable to be afraid that someone won’t take the reveal well. I’ve been there trust me, it’s easier when you let it out even if you get rejected, but I get it being hard to let out because you don’t want to loose a friend. I did not, and niether would she, but I can see why she wouldn’t want ot take the plunge. At least not yet. We’ll see this summer hopefully. 

But we do get a shiptastic, gorgeously aniamted scene of the two dancing an fightin gin perfect synch, combinging luz’s new use of plant magic with amity’s mastery of abominations resulting in the two utterly decimating grom, likely in part because with two fast moving targets he can’t get a lock on and likely nees more fear and mass to attack multiple targets at once. Or just more tendrils. it’s a quick, beautful sequence that’s utterly glorious, being framed as romantic as any hetero scene of the type and rightfully so. A triumph and well deserving of this praise. 

Our heros have won, get crowns, and King gets praise. All is well.. except Luz drops the crown once she gets home because she feels like she failed and feels lost about her mom.. though at least king gets it “I’m king and queen, best of both things!”. You tell em sister. 

So we end with Luz genuinely responding to her mom, with some montage stuff as we see Gus and Willow poke a fear blob, willow fears bugs, understandable and Gus fears clowns... 

Also understandable. Though I didn’t put up a bug picture because

And Amity looks out folornly into the night. Camilla responds to Luz.. and mentions letters.. which while Luz brushes those off.. we see someone sent them. And by someone I probably mean king since we now know only eda and him had acess to the portal, and given he was actively encouraging her to lie.. yeah i’m supscious. But we’ll see next season. For now this episode is fan fucking tastic, showing off tons of character development, being representative and sweet as all hell.. and being really funny. Tons of great gags in this one including the turtle guy from an earlier episode being forced to be adisco ball.  This is easily the series best so far and if you haven’t checked it out, please do it’s fantastic as is this show. Check both out. Until the next rainbow i’ts been a pleasure. Tommorow more disney shenanigans this time with pete. And also more of this possibly we’ll see what I get done. 

Goodnight everybody!

[there-must-be-a-lock]

wings & the way down - part 3

Spencer Reid x Derek Morgan 

Word Count: 2190 this chapter

Warnings: None, really!

A/N: This fills the “jealousy” square on my @cmbingo​ card! 

Series masterlist is here. 

Sunday, January 5 - Spencer

Spencer doesn’t want to stay inside a minute longer than he has to. He can’t stay. He feels like his skin is a few sizes too small, and he’s itching with the discomfort of existing in his own body, and everything that’s rattling around inside his head is fizzing dangerously like bubbles in a shaken bottle of champagne. 

So he walks. 

This is what he’s done for over a decade now. In the last decade, Spencer has walked every street in this neighborhood more times than he wants to count. 

Spencer used to make up stories as he walked. When he was young, they were about the families who lived inside, the snatches of other people’s lives he saw as he passed. Later, he used to picture himself in those houses. He tried to imagine being someone else; who would he be, if he’d grown up in a different home, with a different family? Who would he be, if he was normal? 

He tries not to think about that any more. There’s no point being jealous of someone who doesn’t exist. 

He turns onto Lake Road, and then he almost turns around. 

This is creepy. Isn’t it? It’s creepy as hell. More importantly, why should he care whether Derek wants to see him? For all he knows, Derek didn’t show up at the park either. They’re never going to see each other again. There’s no reason for Spencer to care. 

He does care, though. 

The flip side of it is: they’re never going to see each other again. What does he have to lose? 

There’s something liberating about that thought. Derek doesn’t know him, and better yet, he never saw Spencer get shut in a locker. Derek wasn’t there when Charlie Hankel stole all Spencer’s clothes while he showered after gym class. Derek doesn’t remember any of the things Spencer would like to forget. 

Aside from Emily, everyone in Spencer’s class has known him for almost four years now. They all know him a little too well. 

Still, his heart is pounding uncomfortably as he passes #8 (big, sturdy mailbox, "the Hotchners”) and #10 (cheerful yellow mailbox, no name) and finally stops at #12 (small, tidy dark green mailbox, with “MORGAN” on the front). He almost turns around there, and then again (three more times) as he walks up the concrete path to the front door. 

This feels reckless. Spencer’s not sure what got into him today; he’s never reckless. 

He rings the doorbell and bounces on the balls of his feet. It’s one of those doorbells that actually chimes out a little tune, and he can hear it, muffled, inside the house. 

Nobody’s home, and that’s fine. It’s fine. Spencer’s just gonna go — well, he’s not going home, but he’s leaving. It’s fine. 

But he hears footsteps, and someone is shouting, “Coming, sorry, I thought you said two!”

Then the door is flung open, and Derek is standing there, and his smile drops when he sees who it is. Spencer’s stomach feels like he’s falling from the top of a very tall building. 

“Um. Hi?” His voice cracks. He raises one hand in an awkward wave, cheeks burning, and realizes he has no idea what to say. “I just — I figured — um. I wanted to say sorry? Assuming… you even showed up on Friday, which, for all I know you didn’t, but. Believe me, I really really wanted to show up on Friday. And… I don’t know what to say.” His voice trails off and then he admits, “I didn’t plan this far ahead.” 

“Yeah, I showed up on Friday,” Derek says quietly. He looks… unsteady, almost. Not sure what he feels. 

Spencer looks down at his ratty Chucks and repeats, “I’m sorry.” There’s a long pause, and he can’t bring himself to look up again. “I’ll just— I’ll just go, sorry, this was—”

He’s already turning around when Derek laughs and asks, “Really? You gonna ditch me again?” 

“Oh.” Spencer’s so startled he almost loses his balance pivoting to face him again. 

Derek’s smiling. It’s a different smile than the one he had on when he answered the door, and it’s tugging at his mouth slowly like he’s not sure why it’s there, but he’s smiling. “You wanna come in?”

“Oh.” Spencer blinks. “Sure.” 

There’s music playing from upstairs, hip-hop with a heavy bass beat, and Derek tells him, “Hang on, let me grab that.” He takes the stairs two at a time, and Spencer looks around bemusedly. 

The house is so… normal. It’s clean without being overwhelmingly so, and it’s full of light, and all the furniture looks like it was bought new, from a catalog. It’s so painfully normal that Spencer’s stomach twists up in knots. This is exactly the sort of life he used to imagine for himself. 

What is he doing here? 

“Hey, you okay?” Derek asks, as he comes back down the stairs. 

Spencer forces a smile. “Fine, just — having a weird day.” 

“My auntie and uncle are at church, so I figured I’d crank up the volume while I could,” Derek says sheepishly, holding a little Bluetooth speaker that was — presumably — the source of the music. “What sort of stuff do you like?” 

Spencer shrugs. Most of the music he knows comes from his mom, and he can’t really think about her right now without that cold clenching feeling around his ribcage. 

Maybe Derek can see how out of place Spencer feels here, because he leads the way out the back door, over to a big rope hammock strung up between two slim trees in the back of the neat lawn, and he falls back on it almost carelessly, sprawling out while still scrolling through something on the phone. 

“What were you listening to before?” Spencer asks. 

“Nas. You know him?” He grins up at Spencer, that bright-white dazzling grin, and Spencer perches next to him on the hammock. 

“Not at all, but… we can listen to that, if you want.” 

Derek sets the speaker on the ground, loud enough to hear but not too loud to talk over, and Spencer listens curiously as he lays back, hands folded on his stomach, looking up at the clear blue sky through the leaves. 

“When I stand somebody up, I don’t usually come to their house after to apologize,” Derek says tentatively. “Which… makes me think you might actually have a good excuse.”  

Spencer turns his head, and Derek is mirroring his position, looking right back at him. Their arms are just a couple inches apart, and Spencer feels acutely aware of his body. 

“I sorta had a… family crisis,” Spencer tells him. “My mom — we had to go out of town, and we didn’t get back until this morning.” 

He braces himself for questions, but Derek just half-smiles and nods slightly, looking back up at the sky. “Listen to this bit right here.” He kicks his foot idly, and the hammock rocks back and forth, lazy and gentle. 

“That’s a remarkably complex internal rhyme,” Spencer says, and Derek laughs out loud. 

“A+ literary analysis.” 

Spencer blushes. He’s dealt with a lot of teasing in his life, but this is so, so different. Derek’s elbow nudges against his, and when Spencer turns his head, he sees a broad smile that gives him butterflies. 

“I like it,” he says shyly. 

They’re quiet for a moment, listening. All that strange restlessness has faded, and Spencer likes it here; he likes the fence that surrounds most of the yard, hiding them from view, and he likes the pressure of the rope digging into his back, and he likes the way Derek looks at him. 

They listen in silence until the end of the song, and then Derek asks, “What’s your favorite book?” 

“I don’t know if I can choose a favorite. What’s yours?” 

He says it almost sheepishly: “Mother Night. Vonnegut.” 

“That’s an interesting choice,” Spencer says, thinking it over. 

“How do you mean?” 

“We are what we pretend to be, so we must be careful about what we pretend to be,” Spencer quotes. 

Derek makes a face and looks up at the sky. “What, you gonna psychoanalyze me now?” 

“Why? What do you think it says about you?” Spencer counters, before he can think better of it. 

Derek laughs and says, begrudgingly, “That maybe I can identify with that. Pretending for the sake of self-preservation.” 

“I don’t know you all that well, but you don’t seem — I don’t know. You don’t seem like the kind of person who would need to pretend.” He wonders if it’s too much, if he’s being presumptuous. Derek looks self-conscious now. 

“But doesn’t everybody do that, to some extent? I mean… trying to fit in. Everybody pretends a little bit.”  

“I don’t, really,” Spencer tells him. “I wish I could, but… I don’t really know how to be anybody else.” There’s a note of bitterness in it that he can’t quite hide. 

“Is it weird that I’m jealous?”  

“You really shouldn’t be,” Spencer tells him. He mulls that over for a second and adds, “I do pretend when it comes to… how I feel. I don’t like showing when I’m upset. It doesn’t work the same way, though, because pretending I’m fine really doesn’t ever make me fine.” 

Derek snorts. “Yeah, I feel you.” 

“I imagine who I could be. I imagine what my life could be like somewhere else, or as someone else,” Spencer admits, which isn’t something he’d usually just say like that, but talking to Derek doesn’t seem to have the same rules as talking to most people. “It’s not the same as pretending, but... “ 

“Huh.” 

Spencer feels strange — oddly vulnerable and raw — and maybe Derek does too, because he’s got a soft, wistful expression on his face when he turns his head. They look at each other for a moment. Spencer knows he must be blushing. 

Then Derek’s phone rings, loud and startling through the speaker, and Derek seems to shake himself before fumbling with the buttons. 

“Hey,” he says, and pauses. “Oh — no, that’s fine. Cool. See you soon.” 

Which sounds like Spencer’s cue to go. He doesn’t really want to. 

He sits up, tucking his hair behind his ears. “I should —” 

“My friend,” Derek says, and he actually sounds disappointed. “A friend is coming over, sorry, I didn’t — you could stay, if you want?” 

Derek’s been here for how long now? And he already has more friends in the area than Spencer’s made in years? 

“Nah, it’s fine, I should get back to  —” To my life. Because this isn’t mine, as much as I’d like it to be. “— home.” 

“Can we hang out again sometime?” Derek asks. The hammock is sagging in the middle, where their weight is pulling it down, and when Derek sits up they slide closer, the sides of their legs press together, warm and distracting. 

“You’re staying here?” Spencer asks, more breathless than he’d like. 

Derek smiles. “Yeah, for a while.” 

Before Spencer can ask questions, Derek’s passing him the phone, and he taps his number in carefully. 

“That’s me.” He clears his throat. 

“I’ll text you,” Derek says, typing, and a second later, Spencer feels his own phone vibrate in his pocket. 

Maybe it’s all the talk about pretending — maybe if Spencer pretends to be confident, he will be, someday — maybe it’s the recklessness that brought him here in the first place — something possesses Spencer, and in a moment of courage (or stupidity) he leans over and kisses Derek, lips brushing the corner of his mouth, right where his smile curves up. 

Spencer’s so shocked at his own daring that he can’t really take it in; he gets the briefest impression of soft, and then he’s pulling back, ice-cold with the adrenaline rush. 

They both freeze for a second, blinking at each other. Just as Derek shifts, opening his mouth to say something, Spencer jumps to his feet. 

“Bye,” he chokes out, and turns, fighting the urge to run. 

“See you soon, pretty boy,” Derek calls after him. 

Spencer’s hands are shaking as he walks quickly around the side of the house. He stares intently down at his shoes, because he’s not going to do something like a little Snoopy dance of joy until he’s sure he’s on the next block and fully out of view. 

He almost collides with someone on the sidewalk; he gets an impression of blonde hair and pink shoes as she squeaks with alarm and jumps out of his way. 

“Sorry,” Spencer says breathlessly, without stopping. 

She chirps out a cheerful, “No biggie!” 

When Spencer looks back, she’s ringing the Morgans’ doorbell, and there’s this awful bitter thing in the back of his throat as he realizes that that’s Derek’s “friend.”

It makes perfect sense, though. What did he expect? 

Spencer swallows his envy and keeps walking. 

.

.

.

[hiro-gari]

Speaking of Neo Heroes' security guards doing the housekeeping at Badd's house as part of the deal between Badd and Neo Heroes when he joined them, this makes me think:

- "What if redeemed Garou successed at infiltrating Neo Heroes without getting recognized and disguising himself as Badd's guard?" -

This is just pure self-indulging thought because imagine this: Current Garou, the calmer, wiser, matured, yet still powerful as ever, been wanting to return the favor to Badd for defending him in the previous battle and also to protect him from Neo Heroes' shady schemes, he decided to infiltrate Neo Heroes with his new identity and becomes Badd's security guard.

Of course I know this scenario wont be possible at all because of Neo Heroes would investigate everyone to the tiniest details, and some of Neo Heroes members already recognized Garou in canon webcomic just like the whole Suiryu's team squad did. But let's just think they would be fooled by Garou's new persona when he enrolled the job.

Not to mention, let's just assumed enrolling the job as Neo Heroes' staff would be separated from the regular member's employment and many of Neo Heroes' execs haven't familiarized yet with Garou's new appearance.

The setting could be after Garou got ambushed by Suiryu's team and also after Badd got attacked by Neo Heroes' cyborgs, since I think these events occured on the same time or at least at the same week, imho. So, once Garou heard about what happened to the Neo Heroes' members, he got worried for Badd and decided to sorta helped him in a way by become his personal guard.

During the interview, Garou would giving "made up" personal data that wont mentioned any of Bang's influence or everything related to his mentor. During the physical test, he would only using the most basic martial art moves in front of the execs so they wont recognizing his distinct style.

Garou successfully passed the test and get the job, at the same time when Neo Heroes' need a new security guard for Badd since the delinquent hero already kicked out the latest guard from his house for being "too goddamn nosy", courtesy by the furious Badd himself. Badd said he wanted a more decently normal guard and not a creep. That was a great chance for Garou to fill the requirement as his security guard.

Imagine the short-haired Garou wearing a suit like usual bodyguard outfit, looking so neat, professional, and reserved. And he was standing in front of Badd's front door, ready to greet the hero (who saved his life before) then introducing himself as both his new bodyguard and housekeeping guard.

Eventhough from outside Garou looked very calm, actually he was a bit nervous because he would meet Badd again. Unsure if he should be proud that he got a real good job in which he could be by Badd's side, or afraid that Badd would reject him then kick him out from the house just like what he did to other previous guards.

The moment Badd opened the door to scold and complained whoever Neo Heroes stubbornly have sent to him, he got tongue-tied by Garou's appearance. At first Badd still not recognized his identity, but after inspecting him for a few seconds Badd immediately gawked and immediately yanked Garou into the house, closing the door so noone would hear their conversation.

Badd realized that this man, this charming mysterious person, his new bodyguard, is Garou. Garou the ex Hero Hunter, Human Monster, the former enemy who put him into hospital yet also the one whom he protected from the rest of S-Class heroes, the reason why Badd leaving Hero Association, now was standing before him. Introducing himself as Neo Heroes' new security guard who will "keep him and his lil sister" from any danger outside.

Not easily convinced, Badd cornered Garou and asking if Garou has gone crazy for joining Neo Heroes, too. Especially now Badd knew that they were such scumbags disguising themself as saviors.

Garou calmly answered that he already know firsthandly of what Neo Heroes is, also had heard of what they have done to Badd. Hence he became a double agent: working for Neo Heroes to gain their trust so he can protect Badd from anyone, including Neo Heroes members itself since he has the privillege to do that. Of course by doing that, Garou must be smart enough to trick them and manipulated the reports so they wont gain Badd's personal information that was too private to be shared because it could endangered Badd's life.

Garou doesn't care if this could endanger himself should Neo Heroes realizing his true intention. As long as Badd is safe, he wont give a fuck for all of Neo Heroes' bullshits again. Nobody would hurt Badd any longer, let the delinquent hero do his job properly without any disturbance.

Badd was surprised at how far Garou willing to do for the sake of him, but he still wont convinced enough of him because at this point it seems Badd couldn't trust people anymore since the Hero Association's post-war chaos and Neo Heroes' cyborgs assault.

Garou knows Badd got trust issue because of them, same as what Garou feels after all this time. Wanted to reassure Badd, Garou kneeled before Badd and vowed to him, that he definitely will keep Badd and Zenko safe at all cost. If something wrong happened between Badd and him that makes he should betray Badd, Badd has the full rights to punish him severely and he wont fights Badd back. His life is fully on Badd's hand and not Neo Heroes'. With pleasure, Garou pledged his loyalty just for Badd only. Only him.

Garou ended his vow by taking Badd's hand and kissed his knuckles softly. Then he gave Badd such tender genuine smile with equally tender adoring gaze, because for Garou this man in front of him is his "Hero". Now he would return the favor by cherishing Badd and make him happy.

Listening Garou's vow and receiving sweet gestures from him made Badd flustered, he didn't expect that the ex Hero Hunter who hunted him down would be willing to be his loyal guard. Even swore to cherish him. That's more than a regular guard should do to their client!

Badd had thought he didn't deserved to be treated so nicely like this since he was just doing what he thinks is right. Also he wasn't often getting praised at all by people hence he still hasn't used by it. But seeing how genuine and determinated Garou is, somehow it warms Badd's heart. That Garou really appreciating him to the point he wanted to return the favor, in which Garou didn't have to do that yet he still do it out of free will.

Finally, Badd accepting Garou's offer and trusted him to do his job as his bodyguard. Like Garou has promised before, if someday Garou has to betray his trust, Badd will not hesitated to demolish the wolfman. Monster form or not.

With a bright yet soothing smile, Badd helped Garou to stand up again from his kneeling position and then hugged him tightly.

And saying, "Welcome home, Garou".

----------------------------

Bonus headcanon:

Imagine how often Garou gets Badd blushing madly just by appearing as professional bodyguard, so handsome and charming. Not to mention now Garou showing more responsible and mature side of him that put Badd in awe everytime Garou doing his job properly. Sometimes it distracted Badd's mind and every single memories of the wolfman being so sweet and loving to him lives in his head rent free.

Also, Zenko totally adores Garou and really glad that he wasn't like those creepy bodyguards that Badd had to kick out before. More often Zenko asked Garou to be more casual and to treat Badd more as a friend and not as a client, since she told Garou that her bigbro loves his presence especially when both of them were off-duty at home.

Gradually, Garou becomes more laid-back around Badd (except when he was on-duty or still under Neo Heroes' surveillance). They're eventually becomes bestfriends, completing and complementing eachother since they both were alone and lonely boys.

Secretly without Neo Heroes' knowledge, Garou has been helping Badd to cope with his doomed situation under Neo Heroes' cruel scheme by finally having someone trusted enough on his side when he need it, as he will be always on Badd's side no matter what. Even as far manipulated the daily reports brilliantly so Neo Heroes wont touch Badd with their dirty hands anymore. Anything Garou will do, for Badd.

In return, Badd wont let anyone to hurt Garou again, even if it's Neo Heroes itself. The ex Hero Hunter has already suffered enough. Badd would try his best to cooperate with Garou so they both could make convincing "false reports" while they enjoyed their secret private life together. If someone from Neo Heroes found out what they have done, Badd worried if Garou would be taken away from him. Or worst, gets a fate worse than death. And Badd doesn't want that happens.

On the brighter side, Garou could spend time together most of the time with. Even living with Badd as a privillege of his bodyguard status and Badd's seal of approval to the Neo Heroes execs (so they would let Garou lives together with him, for "surveillance" reason).

Sometimes Garou also assisting Badd in a battle when he was still on bodyguard duty, ensuring Badd wont be too reckless during fighting the enemies. If Badd was injured, Garou was the first one who reacted and immediately taking care of him at home, or bringing him to the nearest hospital if the injuries were quite heavy and need proper medical treatment.

Imagine Garou bridal-carried Badd towards hospital. Badd was actually unconscious at first, but when he regained his consciousness the first thing he saw was Garou's handsome face with those seriously worried expression. That made Badd swooning because: 1. "Why did Garou has to be THIS gorgeous even in pinch situation like this??"; 2. "But he cares so much to me, this strangely makes me happy in some way..";

Then Badd pretended to be passed out in Garou's arms, just so he can peek on Garou's face. Spoiler: Garou knows it the entire time, but he let Badd enjoyed the scenery while he focused on running to hospital.

Imagine the off-duty Badd walking around the town together with Garou. Or going to family picnic with Zenko and Garou has to "keep on eye" on them (when in fact Garou just having fun together with them as it's just a false report for the Neo Heroes execs, Neo Heroes surveillance be damned).

Maybe somewhere in the future, Badd would finally releasing himself from Neo Heroes' grasp and decided to be vigilante, followed by Garou who rebelled against Neo Heroes since his loyalty is only for Badd. Noone can stop them as vigilante duo. Maybe at that point, one of them would confessed their feeling to the other and then they would become lovers, too..

--------------------------

---- THE END -----

---------------------------

Notes:

NO THOUGHT HEAD EMPTY, ONLY GAROU WEARING BODYGUARD SUITS *hyperventilated* 😍😩👌💗💘🔥🔥

This was totally self-indulged headcanon where I want short-haired Garou wears some formal outfits and being a Cool Looking Guy™ who is secretly as powerful as monster. I'm thirsty for any short-haired Garou contents (and also him being together with Badd), forgive me for this outrageously messy writing.. 😅🙏

But honestly, if Garou really showed up at Badd's door as his bodyguard that would be very hilarious lmaoo! Btw I wrote this at 4 AM and now it's already 7 AM by the time I finished, lol. Getting not enough sleep go brrr 😜

So, how was it, guys? Did you enjoyed it? I'm so sorry if it wasn't good enough 😳💦👉👈

@hiro-gari @the-goddessfighter @garous-nipple @jusqu-une-etudiante

Thank you so much for reading this headcanon, guts! I will try to fight off my writer's block and depression, hopefully I can get back on writing more stuff in the future. Wish me luck ✌😁

Have a nice weekend, guys! Love you all~ 😎😘💕💞💖💝🌸🌺🌼🌻🌷💐

-Little1993lamb-

------------------------

~Lilia:

Yessss dude I’m here for this!! Finally he’s got a job that suits him :’) And oh yeahhhh Garou dressed as a bodyguard 🥴 pleeease it would be such a look for him👌😩 bet he pops the collar a bit tho

I love how Badd is like ??hello these guys are scumbags, wtf are you doing, and Garou’s like 🤷 that’s why I’m here, duh. What a sweetheart agshsjsks

I irl clutched my chest when he got down on one knee!! awwwe 🥺💖 The fact that he went to such lengths has to speak for itself as well, I mean Badd knows how much he hates heroes, but especially morally corrupt ones with ulterior motives 🙄BROOO and Badd’s acting all professional and slightly suspicious and Zenko’s just coming out and telling Garou how it really is 😂😂 That’s perfect omg

I love this alternate webcomic version so much 💗 What happened to Badd is so heartbreaking 😓 so it’s very nice to see Garou’s using his mischievous tactics for good to help him get through it and support him 😩 *sobbing*

Thank you so much for sharing this with all of us!! It’s beautifully creative and sweet 💕💗💖😚 We love youu~

[hatlvs]

hi  ..  it’s  cecy  again,  i’m  so  sorry  skfdsl  i’m  the  mun  of  OPHELIA  AYDIN,  now  bringing  u  my  son,  atlas  !  just  hit  the  heart  if  u  wanna plot  !  @mapleviewstarters​

『 jonathan daviss. twenty-two. cis-male. he/him. 』 oh heavens, is that ATLAS HOLMES from CHESTNUT DRIVE i see roaming around mapleview? minnie may’s always calling them -APPREHENSIVE & -RESOLUTE. i happen to think they’re not that bad! they’re a pretty cool VET INTERN and every time i’ve seen them, they’ve always been +DILIGENT & +INTUITIVE. i hope i see them around again!

tw: drugs, physical abuse, stabbing.

THEN:

atlas is born and raised in mapleview, been here his whole life, his family has been here for several generations and the name is very respected. his grandparents were very involved in town politics and stuff

his parents are the town’s weirdos like they’re very open, very fun, were definitely hippies once upon a time and still kinda live by that. everyone who’s met them and are friends of atlas’ are adopted by the holmes’ now. i don’t make the rules

atlas has an older brother, orion, yes his parents had a theme, and after they got him things became really hard for two ppl who weren’t really used to taking responsibility. they started using a lot and whilst they were always very loving, they also tended to unintentionally neglect their son

things got worse when atlas came around, definitely a mistake and his parents tried their best to fit him into their lives, but there really was no room for children in their then current lifestyle

a long custody battle erupted between atlas’s parents and atlas’s grandparents. most of atlas’ early childhood was spent bouncing between them, but at 7 his grandparents won custody over him. orion, 14 at the time, got to stay with their parents

his grandparents were a literal nightmare, very religious people, atlas was not allowed to do pretty much anything he wanted to do and was expected to be the perfect grandson at all times. any mistake was punished, any time he spent w friends outside of school hours were punished. that didn’t stop him from sneaking out to hang out w lane tho

he was very often physically abused, would show up with new wounds and bruises every week at school, but would ofc blame it on being clumsy etc etc. it’s a small town so some people definitely had an inkling

at 13, atlas had a fight with his grandfather which resulted in a kitchen knife in his chest, a sudden but deliberate action not meant to kill, but definitely to harm. he was hospitalized for a week and it was then he was given back to his parents as his grandparents would never see him or any family again really. today atlas has a scar, but no other wounds/ailments (except the trauma).

his parents really did their best all those years to get him back, but in a town where atlas’ grandparents were so influential very few wanted to get on their bad side — and who would believe a reckless couple who couldn’t care for their own children after all?

NOW:

the holmes-case got a LOT of attention not just in mapleview, but nationally. it was a huge scandal, a heartbreaking case, one of the biggest court cases the town had seen. atlas doesn’t like to talk about it simply because he doesn’t wanna be pitied or defined by it. of course, he’s never going to escape it entirely

after atlas moved to chestnut drive at 19 to live by himself, his parents moved out of town and have opened a fox sanctuary where they save foxes from fur farms. they have about 15 foxes in total and atlas has a large outer area at his own place for his own pet fox, malakai

loves his parents, doesn’t get along w his brother bc atlas is lowkey bitter and has trust issues

works as a vet intern just outside of town and loves his job

PERSONALITY / MISC:

*aggressively* “i’m FINE” 

atlas is a really chill and respectful dude, gets along w everyone for the most part. be nice to him and he’s nice to you, it’s always been that simple

he’s pretty logical and intelligent, has a tendency to let that rule over his feelings tho

does not shy away from physical touch, if you need a hug or some cuddle time he’s got your back

not the most gregarious type, he’s quite the introvert, but he makes exceptions if u get close to him

has a lot of respect for animals and the environment. there lives a tiny sjw within him

loves nature!! wants to live in the woods. hozier probably wrote a song about him

atlas struggles with (rarely, but it happens) anger issues. he never learned how to deal with his emotions and when he was finally back in a loving home the only thing he dared to feel was anger — anger that a whole system let him down

he smokes a LOT of weed, it helps him calm down

a n x i e t y

it’s clear his past has left some imprints bc he still flinches when people around him move very suddenly, but he’s getting better gradually

he goes to therapy, but he hasn’t told anyone but lane

abandonment issues, big time. does get kinda clingy on his closest friends bc of it

has a big old van he drives around in like the lil hippie he is

TL;DR:

nice boy who has endured a lot of pain in his childhood. loves his friends, has a pet fox rescued from a fur farm. calm and pragmatic most of the time, but can react with anger if he’s facing difficult emotions he doesn’t know how to respond to. anxious and doesn’t know how to trust himself. has the aesthetics of a witch honestly.

POSSIBLE CONNECTIONS (whatever gender is fine)

a neighbor of his grandparents (they lived on main street), someone who probably sorta knew what was happening there whilst atlas grew up. could be someone older or someone around his own age. could’ve tried to report it or not

former classmates !

a flirtationship ! they lowkey look like they’re dating, but they always brush the comments off. could be just platonic but could also turn romantic !

someone atlas used to crush on and it was super obvious and he’s still awkward about it

someone he babysits for, or he walks their dog, or something like that idk i’m not great at these

exes on good terms

exes on bad terms

sibling-like friendship

protective friendship

neighbors! chestnut drive gang come thru

friends !!! lots of them

someone he lowkey dislikes bc they’re part of the system that failed him ? idk how this would work but i’m throwing it out there 

anything anything anything at all

[shebeafancyflapjack]

King Takes Knight (Part 3)

This has a plot now. Sorta. I don’t know.

Part One

Part Two

(TW: Captivity, isolation, torture, humiliation)

A large wheel is propped up at the front of the stage, each with a panel containing a different word. Scorpions. Spiders. Bees. Bees with Teeth. Lightning. Ice Spears. Nickelback. Whipping. Flesh Tearing. 

“Time to spin the Wheel of Misfortune, Bad Janet.” Shawn instructs. 

After an obligatory slur, the Bad Janet dressed in a black, glittery showgirl outfit does as instructed. The crowd watching cheer out their predictions as they watch the wheel spin, panels clattering against the arrow at the top, slowing down with each second. 

The unlucky ‘contestant’ shivers against the stake in the centre. They’ve wrapped a blindfold around the top of his head so he doesn’t get to see the result. That would ruin the surprise, after all.

The clacking stops. The crowd laughs.

“Ah! Always a classic. Bring them in, boys.” Shawn strides up to Michael, grabbing him by the jaw and putting his lips to his ear; “You’re gonna go for a nice little swim, you stinking jellyfish. There are some creatures who are just eager to play with you...and they are very, very hungry. And horny. And electrified.”

Laughter ripples through the crowd again as a broken whimper escapes through the constrained lips. His chain is loosened, wrists still bound behind his back. There will be no attempt at ‘swimming’ in the tank that’s brought out.

“Don’t worry, Mike. We made sure to keep the water nice and cold for you. It will be like floating on the sea after the Titanic sunk. And we know how much fun those guys had.” 

Shawn yanks his hair back as he’s moved forward.

“Hold still. I want Bad Janet’s camera to get a good long look at you...We want your filthy humans to see their demon daddy at his best, don’t we.”

Another cringe, a helpless writhe, then he’s pushed forward into the tank.

-

“Turn it off.” Tahani requests, getting to her feet and turning her back to the screen, “Please, I can’t watch anymore.”

Janet does as requested. She’s already seen it all for herself. She hadn’t intended on showing the others, hoping what she described would be enough, but she’d had no choice.

She looks to Jason who’s staring forward, vacantly. Anyone who didn’t know him would think he was completely oblivious to what was going on. But she knows her boyfriend and knows, more than anything, the worry that’s going on behind those blank looking eyes.

Eleanor remains seated on Mindy’s couch, running her hands over her mouth, her skin much paler than it had been a few minutes ago.

“You see now why I have to go back?” Janet tells them; “This has gone on long enough.”

“She’s right.” Tahani doesn’t miss a beat; “I haven’t seen anything that awful happen to someone I cared about since....You know what, I’ve never cared about any famous person more than I do Michael to compare it to!” she wipes a stray tear from her eyes.

Eleanor gets to her feet; “Look, guys, I get it, I do. That wasn’t easy for me to watch either. But...we need to think about this.”

“What is there to think about?” Tahani challenges; “We need to save Michael! You saw what they were doing to him!”

“I know!” Eleanor responds, heatedly; “I wanna save him too but if we just rush in then we’ll be doing exactly what they want! This isn’t like last time when they didn’t know we would find out Janet had been swapped out - they sent us that footage hoping it would bait us into going back there! They want our Janet to reopen the tunnel because I guess their own Bad Janets suck at it.”

Janet watches as their team leader’s fingers twitch as she clearly struggles to remain pragmatic and reasonable against the distressing footage they’ve just witnessed. A part of her admires and respects Eleanor for thinking clearly. And there’s nothing in Janet’s omniscient mind that would question her reasoning. 

Yet, oddly enough, she wants to say ‘fork that’ and get...angry. That’s new.

“I hate to be the one to say it but we’re doing so well and they know this! They’re trying to sabotage us again by having us risk ourselves going back there, which is the last thing Michael would want.”

Jason finally pipes up; “I dunno, I think being pushed into a tank filled with giant electric piranhas, might not be what Michael wants either.”

It’s almost impossible for Jason to sound sarcastic, but Janet senses an undertone of it beneath his usual vague tone.

“Look....Michael knew the risks when he chose to stay behind, he told you guys to get out safe and not to reset...We would be making his sacrifice for nothing if we threw our progress away now...”

“How can you be so cold? He’s our friend!” Tahani stares at her.

“And I was the first one who wanted to go back for him when I saw he wasn’t on that handcart, remember?!” Eleanor snaps back, “Janet was the one who said to wait it out, in case he escaped!”

“I was wrong.”

Everyone goes quiet, their eyes turning to fix on her. She clenches her thumb tight in front of her dress.

“I’ve never been wrong about anything before...I didn’t think it was possible. But I was wrong about that.” Janet admits, her lip wobbling; “I thought they would just do what they did to me for all those months, lock me in a cell and have me watch Vicky’s bad rehearsals. I never thought they would...I hoped that Michael would...”

Jason gets up and quietly moves over, putting his arms around her. She puts her hand to his back, not having realised how badly she needed a hug right now.

“It was easier not knowing...Horrible but, you’re right...Now I can’t stop picturing what they’ve been doing to him. Poor Michael. He looked so...” Tahani’s fingers touch her hcest.

Small. Scared. Weak.

Alone.

“We only have a few months left. He’s lasted this long, if we can just bear through-.” Eleanor tries.

“No.” Janet responds.

She’s not used to saying that word.

Eleanor looks at her, sympathetically; “Babe, I know it’s hard, trust me-.” She tries to reach other to touch Janet’s wrist.

She moves back.

“No, Eleanor. I don’t think you have any idea how hard it is.”

“Oh, really? You don’t think that I’ve had to make sacrifices recently? Did you forget what I had to give up...What Chidi had to-?”

“Chidi gets to walk around in the fresh air, he gets to teach and do the things he loves, with only the mild anxious torture. You get to watch over him and make sure he’s safe and know that in a few months, he’ll remember you again.” Janet points out, “Michael is suffering. Every second he stays down there...and you know, as well as I do, Eleanor, what a baby he can be just getting a hangnail. He did that...to save me. To help us! And you just want to leave him there?!”

Eleanor exhales, looking a little knocked back. It’s about time someone knocked her out of the tunnel vision she’s locked herself in since this started.

“Of course not.” She replies, voice breaking; “I’m just not sure-.”

“He loves you.”

Eleanor stops. Her mouth opens, wordless. 

“You know it already, don’t you? You must know, you’re not stupid.” Janet tells her, “He loves all of you so forking much...If you don’t know that, I might need to check you didn’t suffer some sort of aneurysm when he gave your memories back, because I saw it all. I watched him start to grow tired of torturing you all. I watched him have to fake looking ecstatic when Shawn said he was being promoted and then, as soon as he was free too, have a freak out at the idea of having to betray you all. I watched him collect all the mementos he has of his time with you guys. I’ve listened him talk for hours about how he adores you all...”

Tahani and Jason both look solemn. Janet’s eyes focus on Eleanor.

“I watched him cling to your ticker tape for over a year. Never sleeping, never stopping...You were all he cared about in the Universe and was prepared to risk everything to save you all. And he’s never once asked for anything in return...He sure as There wouldn’t ask you to save him now. That’s why we should.” Janet rouses, “Jason told me about what happened that night before I got rescued. Michael did so much for you all and you were willing to risk losing him over a lie.”

“It wasn’t like that-.” Eleanor winces with guilt.

“He’s never stopped believing in any of you guys since he changed.” Janet cuts in, “And he’d literally jump into fire to save any of you! But you’re not willing to do the same for him? Damn...you humans. I’m starting to get why some immortals feel the need to torture you.”

That feels like too much to say. Being angry isn’t fun, it turns out. It almost conflicts enough with her Good nature that she feels ready to melt. No wonder humans say and do stupid things when they’re pissed off.

“Janet...You know what’s at stake here and why we need you-.” Eleanor tries again.

“So we should be willing to let Michael be in pain in order to win?” Tahani interrupts; “I’m sorry, Eleanor, but I’m with Janet on this one. If saving humanity means sacrificing our own then I want no part of it.”

“Oooh, good one.” Jason comments.

“Thank you.”

Eleanor rolls her eyes. Janet can see how torn up she is right now. It’s no easy position to be in. But neither is the torture dungeon where one of them is trapped right now.

She takes a step forward, reaching out to touch Eleanor’s arm.

The short human sniffs; “...Why did we have to teach him to be so....not selfish?!”

“If it helps, I don’t think you did. Michael might have learned ethics and morals from you guys...But that love he has? That...unconditional, reckless, self-sacrificing love? He found that all on his own. It’s easy for me, I was designed to care about humans. But Michael had to fight against every one of his natural, evil impulses to be our friend. You don’t have to love him back after what he did to you for all those years....But you should at least appreciate that.”

The humans have no words. So much for Janet’s not being one for speeches. But then she’s no ordinary Janet.

Enough chit-chatting. That’s just another few minutes Michael has had to suffer.

“You guys have shown you can run the neighbourhood with just Derek. You can do it again. I’m going to rescue my friend...my oldest, my truest, most loyal friend...” She repeats the words he said to her; “...Because I do love him.”

To love a demon, something else that seems to go against her natural instinct, as she feels her essence fizzle a little. Worth it.

[sunflowerspecter]

in the dark of space, d.d.

summary: sometimes, not even galaxies can keep soulmates apart

warnings: cursing, angst like you wouldn’t believe, sorta some fluff, awkwardness and lovely angry outbursts 

pairing: din djarin x reader

words: 2060

part: 3/6  

note: hi so this is like, so so so so so late  and i’m SO SORRY. i’ve really been meaning to update these and then i just DONT so i’m so sorry. i really do promise to try harder ahaha but also i’ve just been falling apart and the last one didn’t do as well! also if you see a bunch of code up above i was trying to embed the first two parts and idk if that worked or failed so yeah... also school is cancelled cause of the coronavirus so i might be working on some new things!! we’ll see. 

Space is so, so very vast. There are so many stars, so many planets, so many beautiful and wonderful and evil and deadly things. 

But even among all of these beautiful and wonderful and evil and deadly things, there are only so many hiding places. 

“I have a plan,” Mando says to you, out of the blue, one day. You’re bouncing the child in your arms near his makeshift-crib, trying to get him to sleep. 

“A plan?” you ask, not looking towards him, but keeping your attention toward the kid. Mando had been in the cockpit trying to decide where to go next for hours. 

“We’re going to end this. This whole deal with the child. We’re going back to Nevarro.” 

“What?” you say, setting the child down and turning to face him. “Mando, you’re outnumbered. They’ll kill you and me and take the child the second they see the ship.” 

“I have a plan.” You wish he would stop staying that. There is a beat before he says,“And you won’t be there.” 

“I won’t be there?”

“I’m going to get Cara to join me and you’re going to stay back on Sorgan. You’ll be fine there, you’ll live peacefully the rest of your days, unless you decide to go somewhere else.” 

“What are you saying?” you ask, because you seriously can’t hear him. There’s blood pounding in your ears. “Mando, what are you saying?” 

“I’m leaving you on Sorgan. In case something bad happens.” 

Your jaw drops, and you shake your head. “Mando, I-” 

“No,” he says, turning away from you. “It’s not up for debate.” 

You raise an eyebrow at that, crossing your arms. “Oh? The rest of my fucking life isn’t up for debate?” 

He doesn’t look at you. He’s silent. He doesn’t move a single muscle in his body. Until- “If you want to have a life, you’ll go to Sorgan and you’ll stay there.” 

“I’m not letting you abandon me.” Your voice breaks halfway through saying it. “I’m not letting you abandon me like everyone, everyone else in my life!” 

He shakes his head, still not looking at you. “I’m not abandoning you. This is what’s best for you.” 

You wipe the tears from your face and push your shoulders back. “What’s best for me? You want to talk about what’s best for me? I’m from a different galaxy, goddamnit! You’re the only person I trust!” 

“Well, these people will take care of you. But you can’t stay with me. I’m not safe.” 

You groan, throwing your hands into the air and then through your hair. “You’re so stubborn! You don’t even realize that… that…” You groan again, shaking your head and storming off. You have no words for him. Well, you do. You just can’t say them outloud. 

“Y/n! Y/n, wait!” he calls after you, but you can’t face him right now. You can’t. 

It’s a little later, and you’re absentmindedly pacing in the kitchen (“kitchen”) area, twirling a knife in your hands. It was the first thing you saw, and you quite enjoyed throwing knives at things. You have… had, been working on defense training with Mando a little, and knives are your favorite. Which is, admittedly, dangerous, but hey, you were doing pretty good so far. 

The Mandorian walks into the room, staring at you. 

“What do you think you’re doing?” he asks, reaching over to take the knife out of your hands. You shake your head, trying to reach for it again. 

“I was-”

“You’re going to hurt yourself.” 

“I was just thinking things over, for goodness sake. I’m not going to hurt myself.” 

He shakes his head, grabbing onto your wrist. You wince as he pulls your fingers away from your palm, revealing the deep cut. “Yeah, I can clearly see that you aren’t going to hurt yourself.” You ignore him, pulling your hand away painfully. You didn’t even realize you had scraped your hand. 

“So I accidentally cut my hand, it’s not even that deep. Why do you care?” 

He freezes, and you think you’ve hurt his feelings, but then you remember he doesn’t have those. 

“You’ve been extra reckless lately. More so than usual. You’re going to get yourself killed.” He turns, then, waves at the kid before he tries to leave. The pain in your hand is evident, but you ignore it. You suppose you had been reckless lately, especially on the last planet you were on, when you ran out in front of him when he was going to get shot. Because he was a dumbass, for god's sake. 

“Is that why you’re abandoning me?” you growl after him, and he sighs. 

“I’m abandoning you so that you don’t die.” 

“So what?” you scream. “So what if I die?” You regret the words as soon as they leave your mouth. You remember once yelling them at your mother. You and her had fought, and she was drunk, and she threw the wine bottle at you, and she said that you were a mistake, and you screamed that. You weren’t welcome home for a week after that. 

The memory brings tears to your eyes and you beg yourself not to break down. 

He’s in front of you in a second, hands on your shoulders, looking at you intently. Heat rises to your face and you look at the ground, and the child, anywhere but at him. He wipes a tear from your cheek. “I need you alive.” 

You scoff. “You know what, you’re right to abandon me. I’m useless. I don’t know why you’ve kept me around this long.” 

You’re sure that you look like a disaster. You’re sure that you are a disaster, and you don’t even care. You don’t have any reason to care anymore. You’re in another-fucking-galaxy and the only person you trust is leaving you. 

“Y/n, what brought this on?” he asks, but you shrug away from him and walk by the child. “What’s wrong?” 

“What’s wrong?” you ask absentmindedly. You pick up the child, setting him on the table. He looks quizzically up at you, his eyes wide. You turn to your Mandalorian. “What’s wrong is that you’re abandoning me!” You pause, then sigh. “I’m in love with you,” you whisper.

He’s frozen in time, all of a sudden, and you almost laugh. 

“It’s pathetic. It’s straight out of a fucking chick-flick. A cliche for the ages,” you mutter, wondering if you should jump out of the spaceship now or if you should wait until the child is sleeping. 

“Y/n-” he starts, but you shake your head. 

“No, no, don’t, because I already know what you’re going to say, and I don’t think I can bear to hear you say it.” You take a long pause, breathing heavily. “I get it, I do, but it hurts, however stupid it is. Even on the off chance you even felt the same, I know what you would say. ’We can’t, it’ll never work, I’m too busy being angsty and broody,’” You shake your head. He doesn’t say anything, the silent tension in the room growing by the second. “I’m sorry, I’m sorry, this isn’t fair of me. I don’t know what came over me. Maybe just… forget I said anything.” You shake your head, embarrassed by your fit of passion. 

“I, er. What if…” he begins, struggling to come up with the words. 

“Don’t try to make me feel better.” 

He steps towards you. “What if I don’t want to forget you said anything?” You freeze, looking at him, your eyebrows strung together. “What if I love you too?” 

“Yeah,” you mutter. “What if?” 

He laughs, this sort of half-laugh thing. “Wow, okay.” You give a sort of half smile back, realizing that he’s standing kinda really close and your breathing is kinda really heavy. “Y/n, I love you, too.” 

“We can’t,” you suddenly say. “I’m too busy brooding and being angsty. You’ve heard my music collection.” 

He laughs, this time. “I love your music collection.” You realize that his arms are around you. And your hands are on his chest. And you’re so. Close. To. Him. You smile, then lean your head against his shoulder. 

“You’re the only person in the Universe who has ever loved me,” you say, and his arms tighten around you. “Someone once told me that humans have this instinct to love their offspring. My mother proved that can’t be true.” 

“Your mother didn’t know that you didn’t need her to turn out smart, and beautiful, and kind,” he says, and suddenly, you think you’ve found home. 

“Please don’t make me leave you,” you whisper. “Please don’t abandon me. Mando, I don't have anything besides you. Which is like super dependent, but this whole situation already sucks.” 

He’s quiet. He steps back, shaking his head. You realize that this may be the last time you ever get to see him. But, then he says, “I won’t. I… I swear, I never will.” 

~~~oOo~~~

It becomes clear to you, as you tuck the little green child that you’ve grown so fond of into bed, that your life has become anything but normal. But, that’s okay, you think, because you’re happy. You’re more happy in this spaceship with the strangest man you’ve ever met and this fifty-year-old child and the occasional appearance of badass space women than you ever were on earth. 

It also becomes clear to you, as you lie in the Mandalorian’s arms one evening, that you and him have no ordinary relationship. For one, you’ve never seen his face, like, ever. And for another thing, you were kind of forcefully thrown into each other’s lives. But, that’s okay, you think. Because, damnit, it’s the healthiest relationship you’ve ever had with another human being. It’s the strongest bond you’ve ever had with another human. It’s the safest you’ve ever felt… ever. 

“Mando,” you say quietly, and he hums. “Is that your real name?” 

He hesitates, then says, “It’s a real enough name.” 

You’re sitting in his lap, and he sits in the pilots seat, and you’re looking at the stars. It’s really, rather odd, you think. It feels so intimate, which, in all fairness, it is. It’s been a few days since your rather brash confessions, and you still haven’t figured out quite how this will work out. You decide, though, that you’ll ask yourself that afterwards. But for now you’re going to be as close to him as possible. You need that much. 

“Why, hello,” Cara says, and you jump up, crossing your arms, leaning against the control panel carefully. 

“Hey, hello,” you say, but she smiles knowingly. 

“So, I’m not really qualified to look after this thing,” she says, the child tucked under one of her arms. You hold your hands out and she hands it off to you willingly. 

“I won’t be able to look after you and the kid at the same time, and you can’t look after the kid while keeping your guard up,” Mando says, and Cara shrugs. 

“What are you suggesting?” she asks, and you move your gaze from her to Mando. 

“We add a party to our crew. And then we head to Nevarro.”  

~~~oOo~~~

You sit in the cockpit while Cara and Mando talk to whoever it is assisting. The child stays with you, in your arms, and you just wait. And waiting means you have time to think. And having time to think means nothing good. 

You realize that you’re probably going to die. This is it. You’re going to be dead. There’s no way to avoid it. I mean, your heart wants to trust Mando, but reasonably, this can’t end well. 

You could go to Sorgan… but you won’t leave Mando. Not in a million years. 

You hear voices from behind you. “So, where is the child?” an unfamiliar voice says. You turn around, and there’s Mando, Cara, and an unknown being. 

“Kuiil, this is Y/n, Y/n, Kuiil,” Mando says, and Kuiil nods at you. 

“It is truly a pleasure to meet you, Y/n,” he says, taking the baby from your arms, which you hesitantly let up. 

“Do you think you’ll be able to build a sort of crib for him?” you ask gently, and Kuiil nods, a sort of smile on his face. 

“I’ll get right on it.”

a/n: hi! like and reblog if u liked this pretty please and thank you!! also leave a comment if you feel like it! so sorry for this being so, so late. stay safe and happy darlings!  

taglist: @marvels-blue-phoenix​ @simonsbluee​ @javert-delacour​ @loilko​ @jelly-snow-stark​ @mutantsandproud​ @ugly-wall-flower​ @taman-a​ @hollanfield​ (leave an ask or message or comment to be added or removed!) 

[actress4him]

Whumptober 2020 - Day 8

Today is our first strictly emotional whump day...only a couple of brief, non-graphic mentions of an already existing injury. Also, today’s fic is really freakin’ sad. Like, I almost made myself cry. So, sorry ahead of time.

Read on AO3

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Day 8 - Abandoned/Isolation

Fandom: Voltron: Legendary Defender

Warnings: fantastic racism, not really suicide ideation but kinda?, abandonment, solitary confinement, disassociation, imprisonment, foster home mention, self-loathing, restraints, unflattering depiction of everyone except Keith and sorta Shiro, ambiguous ending

“I’m...part Galra.”

“I...I’m sorry, what?”

Keith ducked his head and cut his eyes to the side to avoid looking at Allura. “The knife I got from my mom. It’s...something that every Blade carries. And the only way to activate one is to...have Galra blood.”

“And you activated yours?”

His eyes darted up to Coran’s unreadable expression and back down again. “Yes.”

“Wait, but that makes no sense,” Lance exclaimed, and Keith could imagine his hands flailing as he spoke. “He’s human. He’s obviously human.”

Hunk hummed in agreement. “Yeah, if he was part Galra you’d think there’d be some sign of it. Something...purple, or something, I dunno.”

“Or a little more height,” Lance snorted.

Shiro’s hand dropped onto his uninjured shoulder, and he jumped. “Well, we don’t know for sure how much of him is actually Galra. Obviously he ended up with mostly human genes, at least when it comes to appearance.”

“Ah, but other than appearance...that actually explains so much about Mullet. Hot-headed, reckless, socially inept -”

Normally Keith would have snapped back by then, but he just drew his shoulders farther up toward his ears, arms crossed tightly across his chest as if he could keep himself from falling apart. It was Shiro who broke in for him.

“Lance, that’s enou-”

“When were you planning on telling us?”

The question took him so much by surprise that he jerked his head up, regretting it as soon as he saw Allura’s stony glare. “W-what?”

Sparks seemed to shoot from her impossibly blue eyes. “When were you planning on telling us your heritage, before this accidental reveal today? Sometime after you betrayed us, I suppose?”

Keith couldn’t seem to catch his breath. “No, n-...I didn’t know, I swear. This is...this is as much of a surprise to me as it is to all of you.” He knew the news wouldn’t be taken well, especially by Allura, though Coran, Shiro, and Pidge were next on the list. But he never expected to be accused of hiding it from them, of planning to betray Voltron. “I’m not...I would never…”

“Never what, turn on Voltron? If you’re really Galra, which I assume you wouldn’t lie about that, then it’s in your very nature.”

Shiro gave his shoulder a squeeze and spoke up. “Princess, as the person here who has known Keith the longest, I can assure you that what he says is true. He didn’t know until today.”

“And how would you know that?” she shot back. “How do you know that he hasn’t just been hiding it from you, like he has from all of us?”

“Because I know him.” Shiro waved a hand to include the others in the room. “We all know him! Right? We’ve been working alongside him all these months...he’s helped save so many people, including each of us! Regardless of whether he knew or not - which I still believe he didn’t - he’s a good person. Being part Galra doesn’t define him.” It was an echo of the words he had told Keith on the way back to the Castle. Keith still wasn’t sure that he believed them anymore than the rest of the room’s occupants.

Hunk was the first to reply, hesitantly. “I...I don’t know, man. I mean, I kinda really...don’t know him all that well? I’d like to say I do, but…”

“But Mullet never really lets anybody get to know him.” Lance sounded much less hesitant, and more and more like he was siding with Allura. “He’s always so standoffish. I thought it was just because he was a jerk, but maybe it was because he was keeping a secret. Or because he was plotting to kill us all.”

Shiro gaped at him, flabbergasted. “Lance! You don’t really think that, do you?”

But he did. They all did, to some extent or another, Keith could see it. They all thought he was some kind of monster, and...maybe he was.

Lance continued to defend his opinion, while Hunk waved his hands in front of his face and refused to give more of one. It was obvious from Shiro’s tone that he was growing not only frustrated, but desperate. Finally, he turned to the youngest member of the team, the only one who had yet to speak.

“Pidge?”

A moment passed before she lifted her head, and Keith’s heart skipped a beat when those tear-filled but furious eyes met his. She opened her mouth and sucked in an audible breath before throwing her words like daggers. “Do you know where my family is?”

His stomach plummeted to the floor. “No, Pidge, I...of course I don’t, I -” He couldn’t say anymore. It didn’t matter what he said, anyway, no one was going to listen to him. Pidge turned her eyes back to the floor, fists clenched by her sides, as the rest of the room devolved into chaos.

Shiro and Allura were shouting back and forth at each other, Hunk was trying to comfort Pidge, and Lance was shooting glares at him like he was the devil incarnate. Keith stood in the middle of it all with his hands fisted in his hair, wishing he could disappear. Wishing he could go back to that morning and never go to the base, wishing he could go back all the way to the beginning and never be born. It’d be better that way, right? A freak of nature like he was shouldn’t exist. If he’d never been born, then Voltron would have found another red paladin, one who wasn’t Galra, and they could carry on saving the universe without having to deal with this mess.

“Enough!” Allura’s voice rang out over everyone else. “Perhaps we cannot prove his true motives, but one thing is certain, he cannot be trusted. Coran, Lance, escort him downstairs to a cell. We will decide what to do with him at a later date.”

Keith went numb. Everything that happened from that moment on felt like he was watching a movie on a screen. Shiro fairly exploded, protesting Allura’s decision, but the princess pinned him to the nearest console and sneered something about him daring to usurp her authority. Cold, unfeeling hands latched onto both his arms, tugging him harshly toward the door. He walked in a daze.

The next thing he knew, he was standing in the middle of a spherical, blue-tinted forcefield, with no knowledge of how he had gotten there. Down a long walkway, Coran and Lance were disappearing into an elevator. The doors slammed shut on their backs. He was completely alone.

Alone, like he had been after his dad died when he was six. Alone, like he had been in nearly every foster home that followed. Alone, like when Shiro went to Kerberos and subsequently vanished. He thought that by now he’d be used to being alone. But he wasn’t. Not anymore. Not when he had spent the last few months surrounded by people, people whom he didn’t always get along with, but whom he had finally let himself begin to call friends. Not when he had thought he was finally figuring out what it felt like to belong somewhere.

Sinking to the floor, he bit back a hysterical laugh. He should have known better. Nothing good ever lasted in his life. No one but Shiro ever really cared about him, so why had he let himself think that these people did? Maybe Lance was right. Maybe it was all because he had been Galra all along. He had always been the weird kid, the outsider, the foster that nobody wanted, the troublemaker, the rebel. Anytime something good came along, he somehow drove it away. Shiro had spent a lot of time trying to convince him that it wasn’t true, that he wasn’t responsible for other people’s choices, but Keith had never quite believed him. If it wasn’t true, then why did trouble and sorrow seem to follow him everywhere he went? Even as an adult, even in quiznaking space he couldn’t keep from messing up the good in his life.

He didn’t blame Allura for locking him up. Didn’t blame Lance for his glares, didn’t blame Pidge for her anger or Hunk and Coran for their silence. He wouldn’t trust him, either, if he was in their place. The Galra had ruined each and every one of their lives. Even if he knew that he would never, ever hurt his team...maybe he could take on some of the blame of his race. If punishing him made them feel better, then he’d take it.

Time dragged by in that tiny cell. He knew, because the lights in the cavernous room around him brightened and dimmed with the Castle’s cycles just like they did upstairs, and bowls of food goo emerged out of the ground twice per cycle. Maybe it was some kind of Altean science/magic, or maybe there was just a dispenser beneath the floor. He didn’t know, or care. He was glad to get the food, but the fact that he didn’t even get that tiny bit of interaction that someone bringing him a meal would give him hurt. It was like being in the desert shack all over again, but much worse. In the desert, he had the choice to go into town and see people if he wanted, and he had keeping himself alive and chasing after the Blue Lion to keep his mind occupied.

Here, he had nothing. His time was divided between eating, pacing the floor, doing pushups - one armed, since his shoulder still wasn’t healed - and situps, and lying on the hard bed, though he slept very little.

He wasn’t sure what hurt more - the initial rejection and mistrust, or the lack of care now. No one even bothered to come down and ask him questions, to try to find out the truth, much less actually check on him and make sure he was okay. He wondered if they even looked at the security feed ever to see if he was even still alive.

He knew what did hurt the most, though, more than both of those things combined. Shiro. Out of everyone, he thought that at least Shiro would come down at some point. The fact that he had so readily accepted Keith’s Galra heritage had baffled him, but he had been the only one trying to defend him. So where was he now? Were they preventing him from visiting somehow? Or had he changed his mind after all, and sided with the others?

In the end, it took them four quintants that felt like an eternity to decide his fate. The elevator doors opened late in the day, the sudden noise after so much silence startling. Keith swung his legs over the side of the bed and sat up quickly, trying not to be too disappointed when only Allura and Coran walked out. He supposed it was too much to ask that he could see all of his friends one more time.

Stopping in front of the cell, Allura folded her arms in front of her while Coran crossed his in the back. Both were stoic, betraying no emotion on their faces. Allura, of course, was the one to speak.

“We’ve come to escort you off the ship.”

His stomach clenched, even though he hadn’t expected anything different. “Okay.”

“We have landed on a planet called Borulmyte. It is inhabited only by various primitive and non sentient species. The atmosphere is breathable and the climate livable for both humans and Galra.” The last word was said with no small measure of disgust. “There are plenty of edible plants and animals, so you should be able to survive just fine.”

Survive. That was the key word in all of this, wasn’t it? He had half expected not to survive, to be thrown out of an airlock into the cold vacuum of space. But now...surviving is all that he would be doing. Alone, again. He shouldn’t have expected anything different. Alone was apparently his destiny. Alone on a planet with no other sentient life, no one to interact with, no possible way of ever leaving.

Surviving. No more living, those days were over. He wasn’t ever very good at that, anyway. Surviving was what he did best. How long, though, would he last? How long until he decided he was tired of surviving, when there wasn’t even anything left to survive for? Out in the desert, he had had the Blue Lion calling him, and the stubborn notion that Shiro wasn’t really dead. Now...he’d only have himself.

“This was certainly no easy decision, and much time, discussion, and thought has gone into choosing the proper planet. So I hope that you will cooperate and not cause a scene. Nothing you can say or do is going to change our minds now.”

For a moment, he let himself imagine those discussions. It certainly wasn’t the first time over the past few days he had done so. Did anyone advocate for him? Had Shiro been the one to insist that they make sure the planet was livable? Had they chosen a basically uninhabited place because they wanted to keep him safe from possible Galra rule, or because they wanted to keep locals safe from him? Had anyone voted for just throwing him out the airlock?

He nodded and stood. “Okay.”

An opening was made in the force field so that Coran could enter and lock his wrists into energy cuffs. Then he was escorted up the walkway, into the elevator for a completely silent ride, and out into the familiar front hall. It almost seemed like just yesterday that he and the others had crept cautiously through those towering doors, having no clue the adventures that were waiting for them inside. Now he was being figuratively thrown out the same doors onto a planet that was just as unknown as Arus had been then.

The light was dim when they exited, whatever sun might exist there already having set. They were in an open, desert like area, but a forest of some sort was nearby. At least he had options. He knew how to make his way in an Earth desert, but for food and shelter the forest might be his best option.

“This is where we leave you.”

Coran stepped forward and removed the cuffs, and Keith absentmindedly rubbed at his wrists.

“Don’t suppose I get a communicator like our...your allies.”

Allura just stared at him with the same, unchanging expression. He ran a hand through his hair.

“Right. Listen, um...could you...give everybody a message from me? I was...hoping to get to say goodbye, but…”

Sighing heavily, Allura looked as if she was barely refraining from rolling her eyes. “I suppose that depends on what this ‘message’ is.”

“Um.” He looked down at his feet, scuffing the toes of his boot into the sand. “Tell...tell Hunk that I’ll...miss his cooking. Especially those brownies he made for me. And tell Lance that...I never hated him. He...annoyed me sometimes, but...he was a good friend, too.”

He drew in a deep breath, trying to steady himself. “Tell Pidge…” He swallowed. “Tell Pidge that I hope she finds her family. I really, really do. And that she’s doing great with her bayard. I...kept meaning to tell her that, but never did.

“And Shiro…” His jaw tightened. There were so, so many things to say to Shiro. Things that he should have said long ago, things that he had said before but could never say enough. Things that he’d never get a chance to say again. He dashed errant tears away with the back of his hand. “Just...tell him I love him.”

He looked up finally, giving a wobbly half smile. Allura looked even sterner than before, though Coran’s mouth had twisted a bit to the side in an expression that Keith couldn’t read. “And thank you both, for letting me have the chance to fly Red. She’s...amazing.” One corner of his mouth lifted a little more. “Tell her I’ll miss her.”

A long, awkward moment passed before Allura cleared her throat. “Right, then. If that’s all…”

Coran seemed to shake himself out of his thoughts and pulled Keith’s knife out of his pocket. “We figured you might as well have this. It is yours, after all, and you’ll need it, I’m sure.”

Keith whispered his thanks as he gingerly took it from the man's hands.

“Alright. Well...farewell, Number Four.” Coran gave a little salute, Allura a curt nod, and they turned their backs to walk back up into the Castle.

Once they were gone, Keith stayed rooted in place, unable to make himself move. It was only when the Castle rumbled to life that he took a few unsteady steps backwards. The place that he had come to call home over the past few months lifted from the ground before shooting off into the sky. Keith tipped back his head and watched until it was no more than a speck, blending in with the stars that had begun to come out, refusing to let the tears that burned at his eyelids fall.

There was a pretty good chance that none of his messages would ever get relayed. He hoped they would, but knew that he’d never find out one way or the other. He’d never see any of those he thought were his friends again.

He was alone.

All that was left to do now was survive.

[hwanuels]

l.hc: stay with me

summary: the confusing subject of lee haechan 

pairing: highschool!stoner-boi!haechan x reader 

warning: a shit ton of cursing, still got a lot of crackheadness, and DRUGS. no i’m not kidding, if you aren’t okay with that shit don’t read ahead. also! still part of my semi-collab with @huangsren! read her fic here: art-hoe!renjun  BEWARE OF GRAMMATICAL MISTAKES!!!!! 

it’s your favorite local stoner-boi!haechan’s turn

like norenmin, haechan’s name gets tossed around on the daily at NCT Highschool, except not with the same positive connotation

haehcan’s reputation isn’t the best but it could be worse

no it can’t

it’s actually really bad

everyone knows haechan to either be taking a gigantic nap in class or vaping in the bathroom. he gets into detention weekly bc the boy skips school like every other day 

the only reason why haechan hasn’t been expelled was bc he was the principal’s son 

don’t bring that up or he’ll actually cuss you out no cap

although he’s well-known, he’s only got like two friends + college-freshmen!mark lee (hA what a loser)

and one of them was currently in some type of situation with fboi!jaemin that haechan can’t be bothered to deal with –> y/n from fboi!jaemin’s au who will be further known as ara in this story

the other one was you, he liked to keep that one a little more private

it was never explicitly stated that you would maintain your sorta friendship a secret  

although could you really call it friendship if you’re doing all of the things people in relationships actually do? 

like haechan would always call you up in the middle of the night  to get boba or frozen yogurt for no reason

or sometimes yall would be cuddling in your bedroom watching some stupid movie on netflix,,,haechan would probably be throwing popcorn at the laptop screen bc of something stupid the main protagonist would do 

the other times, he would text a simple “pick me up” 

and you knew that that meant that haechan was too high or drunk to operate

there would be nights where you would be chilling in your car as haechan vaped 

you hated it 

but you could never hate lee donghyuck who now went by lee haechan 

yall met around the middle of sophomore year 

damn so much shit goes down sophomore year at NCT high

aNYways, you were stressed out from studying so you decided to take a stroll in the park at like ten at night. 

was that a stupid idea? yes, but at least that’s when you met haechan dressed in a navy green hoodie and a puff of smoke leaving his lips

sophomore!you was like highkey shookth seeing the lee donghyuck smoking in a park

bc at this time, lee donghyuck wasn’t lee haechan 

he was one of the school’s golden boys 

yeah that’s right norenmin used to be norenminhyuck or the 00′s 

he was the star of the school’s choir and the biggest class clown that still managed to get good grades

so imagine your shock when you see him with a cigarette in his hand

you figured that it was best to leave donghyuck alone since you weren’t the nosy type of person

except you weren’t that discreet in leaving when your eyes met donghyuck’s bright red ones 

you stood there for a second, both of you locked in what seemed to be staring contest, before turning to leave since it wasn’t any of your business what donghyuck was getting up to

the next day of school, donghyuck was back to his bubbly, fun self which seemed to be a drastic contrast from the one you saw at the park 

when your eyes interlocked in the hallways, donghyuck raised a finger to his lips when he was sure no one else was looking 

and you understood 

somehow you found yourself in this strange no-talking sit-downs in the park relationship with donghyuck while he smoked on the bench next to you 

this went down for a couple of weeks where the two of you would just sit in heavy silence. the only noises were the cicadas chirping in the background

until one night when donghyuck dressed in the same navy hoodie wasn’t smoking but his eyes were still red

“why haven’t you told anyone yet?” 

you shrugged “because it’s not my secret to tell” 

“you were shocked when you first saw me that night.” haechan commented 

“yeah, i just never expected it from someone like you,” you admitted

you could hear the boy next to let out a dry chuckle, “you’re not the first person i disappointed” 

“it ruins your lungs btw” 

“i know, i want it to” 

“why do you do it?” 

“because it actually makes me feel alive” 

something changed that night bc the next day donghyuck into a physical fight with the student-athlete!jeno who everyone knew was a pacifist. 

that night haechan showed up with a black eye and you didn’t ask why

donghyuck still gave you an explanation even though it was complete bs

“because he was getting on my nerves” 

but it seemed like the whole group of the golden boys was getting on his nerves bc donghyuck stopped hanging around them for the rest of the year

you saw him sometimes sitting outside on the bleachers during lunch, sleeping or smoking, not afraid to be caught 

you never had the courage to approach him in person at school, bc it seemed like your relationship was strictly limited to the park 

but you couldn’t help to be worried about him with the drastic change in character he was undergoing 

one day, he showed up to school with bright red hair and did nothing in all of his classes but take a nap 

sometimes he didn’t even show up to school 

you heard from someone that he quit choir which was shame bc you always wanted to hear him sing 

and sophomore year bled into junior year and donghyuck was no longer known as donghyuck but as haechan 

it was weird, every time you would get the urge to take a midnight stroll in the park, haechan would be sitting there on his usual bench sometimes smoking sometimes not

you always sat down next to him even if you knew that you were just going to sit there in silence

“give me your phone number,” he said bluntly holding out his hand for your phone 

“why” 

“i’m tired of waiting for you to come to the park” 

and you really confuse because does that mean that haechan wanted to be your friend??? 

as if he can read your mind, he rolls his eyes “yes, let’s be friends. you’re a lot better than those fakes in our goddamn school.” 

so that’s how your friendship began with the lee donghyuck, rebranded as haechan 

he doesn’t let anyone call him donghyuck but you,,, you still try your best not to call him that bc he doesn't like it 

gotta respect your friends’ wishes y’know

it wasn’t until haechan was over at like 2am in your room, both of you talking in small whispers bc you don’t want your parents to wake up and find you laying in bed with a BOI, that y'all reached the final level of closeness and haechan let slip one of the reason behind his reckless actions

“you know what sucks? even when i’m acting out like this, my parents still refuse to acknowledge me. it’s like they don’t care” 

and your like :((( 

“i’m pretty sure they care about you a lot,” you didn’t like the listlessly way he was talking 

“you don’t get it. when my dad saw my hair, all he told me to do was to dye it back. my mom didn’t even freak out when she saw me smoking a blunt with my friend in my room. they could care less” 

and haechan begins to spill

“even when i was achieving so much, they rarely ever bat an eye at me. do you know how hard it is to come to school and put on the facade of that i have no worries in the world? that i’m that cheery happy-go-lucky kid? even renjun is allowed to have moody days, but i’m expected to always be the mood maker. i fucking hate it.” 

you stayed silent listening to his rant 

“when jeno was complaining about how his parents invited his whole family to his stupid basketball game, i just got so angry because my parents haven’t been to one recital ever since i joined the choir. nor did they go to the science fair where i actually won first place with that stupid potato rocket i did with renjun.” 

haechan let’s out a bittersweet laugh 

“after that fight with jeno, no one asked if i was okay or why i even did it. none of them did. my dad didn’t even look at me in the eye when i went to his office, all he cared about was if the school’s basketball mvp was okay.” 

“god, i’m so numb to all of this shit. i don’t even know how to be happy anymore” 

that night you didn’t say anything to haechan bc you didn’t know what to say. but that night was the first and last night you ever saw haechan cry or that emotionally vulnerable bc the next day, he acted like it never happened 

by junior year, everyone already knew that the old donghyuck was gone and haechan was here to stay 

BUT your relationship with haechan wasn’t one-sided at all 

nooooo there were nights where you were the one crying and haechan was the one comforting you even though his advice was bs

you best bet that when haechan got his license, he dragged your ass to midnight drives to the cliff, but you would be the one to drive him home bc he probably vaped a little too much on the cliff 

despite breaking down that one night, haechan was very emotionally closed off. he didn’t smile as often as he used to in public unless it was with you

sometimes he would catch himself smiling when you said something really dumb or when he found your antics adorable, but he would never admit it and the smile would be quickly gone from his face.

your hangouts were so lowkey

one night, junior year, you were just chilling in your car with hyuck and he just leans over and kisses you. 

you could still smell the strawberry vape juice on him but you didn’t stop the kiss,,,cuz it felt nice

his lips felt like soft little cloud pillows 

and when haechan pulls away he has this little smirk on his face while you're flustered as fuck 

let’s be honest, that wouldn’t be the last time y'all locked lips 

cause it happened a lot 

especially in the car and sometimes in your room 

you can’t lie and say you don’t have any sort of feelings for haechan 

especially when you do see his real smile that he doesn’t let anyone see or when he made the effort to stop smoking cigarettes 

although you still highly disapprove of his drug usage

drugs are bad kids! 

haechan has his own reasons for continuing to use it so as much as you try to discourage him, you don’t stop him 

you’d like to say that you’re the only girl in his life, but your not

bc you were only hyuck’s friend at night,,,he has a day friend who was also a girl who he didn’t seem to care to be seen w at school 

a really pretty (AKA y/n from jaemin’s au) one who you also saw on multiple occasion haechan flashes his breathtaking smile too 

one of your friends had gossip that that girl was ara, who was dropped by her friend group bc she was dating haechan who had beef w jaemin who was dating ara’s ex-bestfriend? confusing, yeah i thought so too. 

you knew better than to listen to stupid highschool rumors but you couldn’t help but come to your own assumptions about the closeness of their friendship 

bECause haechan never mentioned ara in any of your conversations

at lunch, you can’t but let your eyes drift to the two of them in their own world laughing away 

you only met her once when mark was dropping haechan off at your house bc he much rather be at yours then his 

you were a little bit hurt since she got to know mark before you did 

you knew that mark was one of haechan’s closest friend and someone he really respected even though he liked to bag on him 24/7

as much as you tried not to, you found yourself repeatedly comparing yourself to her 

the subject of ara was left alone, forever stored in your insecurities

you didn’t want to confront haechan about it bc you didn’t want to admit it but you caught the big bad feels for the boy

so your feelings were left untouched until senior year

when the two of you were making out in your room and haechan suddenly pulls away with wide eyes 

and he lets out an “oh fuck” 

now, you were worried 

did you somehow do something wrong? 

“ara is going to fucking kill me,” haechan muttered grabbing his phone, calling someone up 

“hey gramps, can you pick ara up? i kinda left her at school,” haechan said through the phone to someone you presume to be mark

“okay, fine i’ll bring you weed brownies and hurry up before she gives me shit tomorrow. you know how high-maintenance she gets” and he hangs up the phone, throwing it aside 

“sorry about that,” haechan says going to resume what the two of you started but you stop him

cause it hurts too much and you don’t know what the hell you are to haechan

“i can’t do this anymore, hyuck” you say in a small voice, not daring to look him in the eyes bc u know damn well that he’ll see the tears in your eyes

“what do you mean?” you could hear the worry in the voice

“this,” you gesture between the two of you “i can’t anymore” 

and haechan knows what you’re talking about 

he’s been dreading the moment,,,he could sense the end 

which is the last thing he wants

“what’s wrong?” 

you bite your lip not wanting to start breaking down in front of the boy you grew to love so much 

your heart was hurting so bad,,,but you couldn’t continue on pining over a boy that would never love you the same way 

“what am i to you, hyuck?” 

one of the things that haechan hated the most was seeing you sad 

he hated how you saying his nickname in that teary voice made his heart drop 

“you’re my friend, y/n. actually, you're my bestfriend” 

you look him in the eyes this time, but haechan wished you didn’t 

“i’d never be more than that, right?” you smiled sadly at the boy

for once in his life, haechan is rendered completely speechless 

“i think you should leave” 

he knew that he should have put up a fight 

yet he couldn’t bring himself to 

there was this pang of hurt in his chest that he couldn’t quite explain 

so he left 

he wished he didn’t 

the minute he walked out the door he felt all of the happiness leave his body,, he knew that when he walked out the door, he would never be walking back 

when he got home in his room that night, he didn’t have it in him to pick up his usual blunt or his vape pen 

instead, he flopped onto his bed staring up at his ceiling 

there was wetness on his cheeks,,,his vision was blurry,,,and his heart hurt 

he almost contemplated skipping school the next day, but he didn’t want to spend his day wallowing in his despair that he didn’t even know why he felt 

his eyes were red as fuck so he tried to play if off as if he were high because who would question it?

so that’s why he went to school with a pair of sunglasses to hide his puffy, red eyes 

he was expecting everyone to leave him alone cuz he looked like he was faded but his shithead friend ara marched over to him and pulled him away leaving behind a very confused looking jaemin

that’s probably a story i’ll hear later. he thought.

“you fucking moron,” ara exclaimed at him punching him in the arm “this is like the eighteenth time you have gone to school fucking high! get a grip man!” 

“don’t lecture me as if you weren’t talking to the parasite,” haechan huffed, rubbing his arm from the pain

damn she packed a punch 

ara squinted and haechan realized he fucked up with his fake high act 

so the girl reached out and grabbed his sunglasses much to his protest and saw his puffy eyes

“hOLY sHIt, dude were you crying?” 

haechan snatched back his sunglasses and quickly put them back on, “fuck you” 

“sorry man, what happened?” 

“i don’t even know” 

“you want a pity hug?” 

“why the fuck not” 

the thing was haechan wasn’t touchy with other girls except for you, so the hug w ara was like a bro hug 

all that awkward patting and shit

stupid haechan failed to notice that you were standing at the end of the hallway, witnessing the whole scene 

now it was clear to you that you didn’t mean shit to haechan 

you were just a girl that could make him feel less lonely in secret, nothing more 

he had no trouble displaying his relationship w ara in public 

why did he make it seem like he wanted to keep you a secret? 

you were tired of it

spinning on your heel, heart-shattering into pieces, you walked away from lee haechan for the very last time 

basically now, it was simp hours 24/7 for the both of you

even college-freshmen! mark knew something was off with his highschool weed buddy 

“dude, what’s goin on with you lately?” 

the two of them were on their regular get-high cliff except mark was the only one doing the deed, haechan was just spaced out 

“i dunno” haechan shrugged 

mark made a face that was like “if you don’t tell me i’m beating the shit out of you” 

“okay fine, y/n doesn’t want me in her life anymore,” haechan spilled the beans on the whole situation between the two of you and mark is like “and i thought i was the fucking idiot” 

haechan is like wdym bruh? 

“are you dumb, bro? like are you out of touch with your feelings or sum shit?” 

“huh” 

“goddamn i have to do everything in this household, listen to me you little bitch boy, grow a pair and admit that you have feelings for her!” 

haechan’s face is like O.o 

“are you high right now, mark?” 

instant smack on the back of his head 

“no you dumb shit; just say that you like her and that ara is just a friend!” 

“what does this have to do ara?” 

mark is like BOI IF YOU DON’t

“obviously, you failed to mention that you managed to befriend a person who just happens to be a really pretty girl-” 

“dude, ara is fucking ugly. i’d date you before i’d ever date her” 

“stfu and listen bitch boy. anyways, y/n is probably highkey confused bc she probably thinks you’re interested in ara since you’ve been spending a shit ton of time w ara in the day time but you only come to y/n at night.” 

“i do that because i don’t want people to associate her with the things i do just because i’m friends with her. she’s doesn’t deserve to be roped into the same category as me” 

aNOTHer smack in the head 

“go clean up the mess you made and admit your feelings you fucking shithead.” 

“how?” 

“i dunno, ask her to prom or some shit” 

“i don’t want to go to prom” 

“DO SOME ROMEO AND JULIET SHIT IDFC JUST STOP BEING A DUMB PUSSY” enuff said 

so haechan gets dropped back at his house and he does some thinking about his so-called “feelings”

which is a fat surprise bc haechan is the living embodiment of impulsiveness,, he had only one brain cell to do his thinking

did he like you? idk man

he liked the way you smiled every time you told him something good about your day while the two of you cuddled. or when you would watch a funny clip on your phone and share it with him

he liked the way your hair smelled liked vanilla and was always so soft every time he ran his fingers through you hair

he liked the way you never turned him away even when he knew that you hated the way he was living his life. 

all of his other friends didn’t even make the effort to reach out to him when he was so obviously out of it. he felt unimportant with them

you were different

you made him feel happy, loved, and cared for

he no longer craved the attention of his parents or anyone in fact because he has you

or well he HAD you 

right now, all of the phone calls, text messages, and even snaps went straight to delivered, voicemail, or unopened

every time you’d see him in the halls, you would go the other direction

all of the times haechan tried to reach out to you, all of his attempts were deflected 

now how the fuck does one confessed when they’re being ignored???

“that sounds like a personal problem,” ara stated, stabbing her food angrily after haechan told her his predicament during lunch

na jaemin had just gone by their table and did someone bullshit that haechan could care less about, he stopped associating himself w him a long time ago

“no shit sherlock, help me bitch.” 

ara glared at him “you got yourself into this mess so fix it yourself” 

“i hope you fucking choke on an ice cube” 

“i’ll slit your throat in your sleep, lee haechan” 

wow everyone really out here expecting haechan to solve his own problems. how selfish of them.

which is probably why his plan of execution was shitty as fuccck

you, on the other side of the equation, was currently in the depths of your despair as all of your friends had managed to score dates to senior prom which was this weekend

you’re highly disappointed bc if it wasn’t for you being so preoccupied with the thought of haechan you’d probably have a date by now 

hell you even lied to haechan saying how you didn’t want to go to prom bc it was too extravagant for your taste when in actuality, you wanted to get dressed up, take pretty pictures, and dance awkwardly to a slow song 

the typical highschool prom experience

one thing that you didn’t want to admit was that the only boy you could picture as your date was donghyuck, the same boy that you wanted to get out of your thoughts and heart

the night of prom, you were stuck in your bed in a pair of sweats and some random oversized t-shirt scrolling through social media

to say you weren’t jealous of all the fun senior prom seemed to be was a giANT lie you could’ve just went alone!!!

honestly, even your parents were out having fun on a date night while you were being depresso espresso at home

you flopped in bed with a giant huff bc who was haechan to stop you from experiencing your highschool years! who was he to make you feel so bad that you couldn’t even go to prom! 

your phoned buzzed in your hand causing you to look down and nearly scowled at the message that was sent to you

hyuck: open up 

you ignored it, turning your attention back to that stupid rom-com you were watching on your laptop 

your phone continued to ding w messages you were sure were from haechan but you don’t want to open bc you knew that you would probably be launched into another wave of sadness and maybe even break-down cry in front of him so you turned your ringer off 

but out of nowhere, you hear this loud thud against your window 

wtf was that? alert mode on

then you hear a loud shout 

“BITCH ISTG IF YOU DON’T OPEN TF UP” 

you already knew who it was, so you contemplated on whether or not you wanted to actually confront him or run away from all of your problems (*coughs* ara *coughs* haechan)

 you didn’t get much time to think bc another thing was launched at your window

haechan’s shoe

walking over you opened ur window to see below haechan on your lawn with a giant cheeky smile on his face you knew for a fact it was genuine

he only smiled like that when the two of you were bent over laughing at something stupid he or you did

aww shit here comes the sad bugs again 

“what do you want?” you say loud enough for him to hear “go to prom with me!” haechan shouts up making you and your heart flustered af 

“prom already started, you idiot” 

“then let’s dance in your room” 

as much as you knew you should have turned him away, you couldn’t

you were so in love with haechan 

the minute you open the door you were engulfed into his chest

you froze up not knowing how to react 

“don’t let me go please,” haechan says barely louder than a whisper

goDAmmit haechan’s making me tear the fuck up

“you’re the only one in my life that hasn’t left me. the only one that was willing to understand me. i know that i’m not the best guy out there, i know that i’m nothing great, but when you look at me with that stupid smile of yours i feel so god damn on top of the world.”  

he hugs you tighter “please, please, y/n don’t leave me. i need you in my life.” 

something wet drops on your shoulder but you don’t dare to look up at haechan’s teary eyes 

closing your eyes you fall into his chest, his familiar scent triggering tears of your own 

“i love you” he pulls away from you to look at your face for a response, your eyes meeting his shaking brown orbs 

you have to raise your head slightly up to look at him while he was looking down at you

his hair was a mess of a light pastel rainbow (we go up broski) 

that’s when you notice how red his eyes were but there was no stench of weed or alcohol on him 

lee haechan was completely sober 

“i’ve always been yours, lee donghyuck”  

lee haechan wasn’t like other guys. he was lee donghyuck. he was complex and it would take you years to completely unravel him. even when you knew him for so long, you still had no idea was going through his mind. there were times where you found yourself stumped on the subject of haechan, but it was okay 

because you were willing to take the time to understand. 

[ugly-crying-over-bucky-barnes]

Roguish Women Part 29

Summary: Kate is an American who fled to Paris to escape her past life. Now she's dancing and playing the part of a courtesan at the Moulin Rouge. There she meets Tommy Shelby who thinks she can be useful in expanding his empire. But has he been blinded?

Part 29: Kate tells her truth

            Francis Lynch was a wreck. She could barely stand or hold her head up and it had been three hours since the police had left. Three hours since one of the detectives informed her of her husband’s accident. In the wee hours of the morning, Ryan Lynch, drunk as a skunk, had fallen into the Boston Harbor and drowned.

            “What am I going to do?” She wailed from her seat at the kitchen table. Her head was in her hands.

            Her eighteen-year-old daughter was sitting on the floor, her knees tucked to her chest. “It’ll be alright, mom.” She said quietly. Tears streamed down her cheeks. Her father was never the person he was meant to be. He worked twelve hours a day then spent his free time in the pub. He was never particularly loving toward his only child. After all, she was simply a mistake in his eyes. Young and reckless, he got Francis pregnant and his Catholic father guilted them into marriage.

            But Kate was still sad. She still loved him.

            “It won’t be alright!” Francis cried. “We’ll lose the apartment, we’ll lose everything!”

            “No, we won’t.” Kate stood up shakily and tried to comfort her mother. “I promise we’ll be alright.”

~~~~~ 

            “I worked to help pay the bills and to pay my neighbor for ballet lessons,” Kate explained. She sat down on the bed as she started to explain everything, she had lied to him about. “My mom worked too but my father brought in the most money.”

            Tommy wasn’t sure he expected the story to go so far back. In his experience, the farther back a story went, the more lies there were. But he tried to keep an open mind, she was being honest with him even if he was hesitant about it.

            “When my father died, we would’ve become homeless in a couple of months.”

            Tommy frowned. “You didn’t tell me your father died.” As far as the story went, or at least the one he was led to believe, Kate’s father was the reason for all of her troubles. Someone who was caught up in the American mafia, who placed all the burden on Kate.

            “Just, just listen.”

            He nodded and went to sit beside her on the bed. The last thing he wanted was for a confrontation so soon after reuniting with her. That’s why he had wanted to at least delay the truth. But he also didn’t want her to feel guilty either.

            “I’d known Frank Wallace and his brother Steve for a long time. They were already established as the Gustin Gang by that point and they controlled most of South Boston. I met Frank through my neighbor who taught me lessons. He had helped her rent and legal issues. So, I went to him after my father died.”

~~~ 

            “Girl like you shouldn’t be dealing in those sorta things, Katie,” Frank warned.

            They were at one of the bars the Wallace brothers owned. One of the places Kate’s father frequented. Kate looked around the place, wondering if this was the last place her father had been before he left and fell into the Harbor.

            “I don’t think I have a choice.” She replied quietly.

            “I’ll help you find a good job with better pay.” He assured her. “Don’t worry about your landlord either, I’ll pay him a visit if he gives you trouble ‘bout the rent.”

            To anyone else, it would’ve sounded like the perfect scenario. Having friends in gangs sometimes had its perks. But Kate shook her head. “I don’t want that, Frankie. You know how long I’ve been training to dance. I’m not going to give that up so I can work myself to death like…” She paused. “Whatever.”

            Frank tapped his knuckles on the table. “But to get into shit like bootlegging? You’re only gonna bring yourself more troubles.”

            “It’s what I want to do. I can do this and have enough money to take care of my mom. Meanwhile, I can hopefully get into a ballet company. Then over time, I might make more from dancing.”

            The older man sighed. “I know that I can’t fucking do anything to change your mind. But you need to know that this shit isn’t something you can walk away from. Not a little side job you can drop whenever you want.”

            “I know.”

~~~

            “I used my father’s identity to set it all up. I started to facilitate shipments from Europe to get liquor into Boston and then ship it all over the country. I put any debts in my father’s name and Frank helped me deal with anyone so nothing would be traced back to me.”

            Tommy wasn’t surprised that she had managed to create a bootlegging empire. Kate was certainly clever enough to get the job done. He was just unsure why she hadn’t confessed that to him when they initially met. But he wanted to hear her out so he nodded for her to continue.         

            “I was accepted into the Boston ballet company and began dancing. It became so much easier after that. I started to meet people who were higher up in the city. Rich people, people who wanted things done. Only the wealthiest knew who I really was. Everyone else thought it was my father in control.”

 ~~~

            “That was a beautiful performance, Miss Lynch.”

            “Oh, Mr. Weld,” Kate startled as she left the theatre through the backstage door. “I didn’t see you there.”

            The wealthy businessman was standing by his expensive, neatly polished car parked in the back alley. Mr. Weld was dressed in a tuxedo, demonstrating that he had seen the ballet performance that had just ended.

            “Let me drive you home.” He offered, opening the car door for her.

            “That would be kind, thank you.” Kate had no qualms about getting into his car. She was armed with a pistol and even then she doubted the man would attack her. She was far too valuable.

            “I do appreciate your work, Kathleen but I came here to voice some concerns.” Mr. Weld said as he got into the car and started it up.

            “By all means, tell me what you’re worried about.”

            The man sighed anxiously. “I understand you’ve been branching out to Chicago, selling to their bars. Word is you’ve gathered a few men there who act on your behalf.”

            “I don’t give out names of people I work with,” Kate replied calmly. “What I do in Chicago won’t affect my business with your bars, Mr. Weld. You’ll get shipments and protection as long as I’m paid.”

            “What I’m concerned about is the Chicago Outfit.” He ignored the mild threat. He’d been behind a few times with payments and had learned his lesson early on that it didn’t matter that Kate was a woman. She wasn’t someone to be messed with.

            Kate bit her tongue. The Chicago Outfit was frightening to anyone, but she didn’t show fear. “There’s no reason for concern.”

            “Pardon my insistence, but there’s been word that you’ve…you’ve been disregarding their territory lines. I would urge you to be careful or to even back out of Chicago entirely. The more you press…”

            “What?” She glanced over at him, still conveying that she wasn’t bothered even when her stomach was in knots.

            Mr. Weld’s fingers tapped nervously on the steering wheel. “The more attention you’ll call to yourself. I don’t wish to have any ties to someone who upsets them.”

            “Then pay me what I’m due and our contract will be finished,” Kate replied with a tone of finality. “You can go over to the North End and ask the Italians for help. Because you won’t get any more help from any of my allies.”

            Mr. Weld swallowed. “Just please consider your actions a bit more carefully.” He parked outside of the Lynch’s apartment building.

            “I run my business how I see fit,” Kate said, stepping out of the car. “Let me know if you want to continue our business relationship.” She closed the car door firmly.

~~~            

            “I was making money but not enough to completely stay afloat. , I branched out further to Chicago and made mistakes. I was given a warning but I didn’t listen.”

            Tommy had been in the game long enough to know the consequences of ignoring warnings. “What did they do?”

            “They took a train to Boston and kidnapped my mother. They tortured her for days but she wouldn’t tell them where I was. They ended up throwing her in the river.” Kate tucked her knees to her chest as she stared at the floor with tears in her eyes. The sight of her mother’s body being hauled out of the river would always be etched into her brain. The guilt was so unbearable she tried to pawn it off to someone else. It was the Chicago Outfit’s fault. It was the fault of whoever gave them her mother’s address. It was her father’s fault for leaving them with no income. But in the end, there was no escaping it. Kate knew it was her fault.

            Tommy, although stunned into silence by her history, he instinctually wrapped an arm around her shoulders to comfort her. His actions had led to the death of others. He knew the weight of guilt that would always rest on his soul.

            “That same night I went to Santo. I wanted him to get revenge for me. I only knew him because he left me a letter after one of my performances. He hounded me for weeks about a business relationship and then something personal. I knew he was waiting for me after the news spread about my mother.”

 ~~~

            “My condolences, Miss Lynch.” Santo poured Kate a glass of wine. They were sat together in a secluded booth at one of the North End restaurants Santo owned.

            “Thank you.” She replied quietly. It still hadn’t quite hit that her mother was dead. Yet, there she was, willing to negotiate for revenge.

            “Why is it you wanted to come to see me so soon after your mother passed?” He asked even though there was a twinkle in his eye. A sort of knowing. There was no mystery as to why she was there.

            “Because I need the bastard who killed her to pay. I want him dead.”

            He raised his eyebrows as if he hadn’t even considered that. “And why should I help you? You’ve never proposed an alliance before, why would I risk any of my men to help you? You must know that the Chicago Outfit are dangerous.”

            “Because you’re the only one in Boston who has a feud with them, you would want an opportunity to raise hell, and I would pay you.” Kate knew that talking to gang leaders was never easy. She tended to get right to the bottom line to skip all the fanfare they were so fond of.

            “I’m a wealthy man, Kate, why would I need your money?” He adjusted his cufflinks almost as an example.

            “What else would you want?”

 ~~~

            “That’s where the deal came in. He killed the man who killed my mother. But when the deadline came, I didn’t have enough money. One of my shipments fell through and I lost a lot of money. I begged Santo to give me more time but he refused.”

            Tommy couldn’t help the instinctual anger he felt when Santo’s name was brought up. It only minorly distracted him from the bewildering story Kate was telling him.

            “I left before he could get me and ended up in France.”

            “And that’s where I come in,” Tommy mumbled quietly.

            “Yeah.” Her voice was almost at a whisper. Kate was terrified of what he would say to her.

            But he didn’t speak for a long while. He kept his arm around her, absent-mindedly rubbing her shoulder.

            “Say something, please.” She begged.

            “I don’t know what to say, Kate.” He finally spoke. “I just-I don’t know if it changes anything but I don’t understand. I don’t understand why you didn’t just tell me.”

            Kate felt like breaking down and just curling into a ball. Hardly anyone knew her true story. If she trusted anyone to hear it, Tommy would be high up on that list. But it was still agonizing to open up her old wounds. “Because when I went to France, I vowed to put it all behind me. I didn’t want to be that person again not after what happened to my mother. But then you came into my life and…” She put a hand to her face. “I don’t know I just thought you might be my ticket out.”

            “I don’t understand.”

            “You made me feel safe. And if I had to go back to what I was doing before then I trusted you would be able to keep me safe. Especially if Santo ended up finding me.” She tried to explain as best she could. “But I still wanted to be rid of my past so that’s why I lied. Maybe I just didn’t want to admit what I’d done.”     

            Tommy wasn’t sure what else he could say. Perhaps she had a reason for lying to him. Maybe it was enough that she wanted to put her past behind her. Sometimes, Tommy wished he could just step away from it all and resume a new life. Start off on a clean slate without any debts. But the world didn’t work that way. Kate was now figuring that out.

            “I didn’t think I would fall in love with you. I didn’t even plan on staying in Birmingham that long. I had no problem lying because…your family was just another step in the road. But…then I-I fell in love with you and I just didn’t know how to tell you the truth. The longer I waited, the harder it got.” Weary from all the emotions she’d gone through in those past months, she slumped forward over her knees, holding her hands to her face. “I don’t want to be just another person who lied to you.”

            “C’mere.” He helped her sit upright so he could cradle her in his arms. “What we have is real, aye? It doesn’t have anything to do with what happened in America. The only thing I care about is what happens between us here.”

            Kate buried her face in the crook of his neck. She wanted him to push her away, to look at her with disgust and hatred. She wanted him to hate her for the things she’d done.

            But he held her close and kissed her hair. “It’s done, yeah? You’re coming home, you leave all of it behind.”

            “Tom, I lied to everyone. I put them at risk I-” She couldn’t say it, but she felt worse than Grace. She had lied for longer than Grace had. She had condemned Grace for lying, yet Kate had been lying all along as well.

            “Leave it behind, Kate.” He urged. “You can leave it behind.”

He looked over her shoulder, still processing everything she’d told him. Kate was right, he was blind when it came to the people, he was closest to. So distrustful of the world, but those who had his heart were above suspicion.

            They sat there for a long while, sitting with everything said and just getting used to being in each other’s company again.

            “How is the rest of the family?” Kate asked quietly, finally lifting her head, able to meet his eyes again. “Have they been alright?”

            He took a deep breath. Time for some of his own admission of guilt. “They’re all in prison and they’ve been sentenced to hang.”

//I hope this format was okay to follow. I just didn’t want it to be one huge text block of Kate explaining everything. 

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