#i just think she'd talk to him to keep herself sane since he's the only company she has

[baylardian-1]

think im gonna scrap this one too haha I REALLY HECKING LOVE THE IDEA but i doooont have the motivation to fix it its VERY janked </3

just a lil idea of Philippa trying to figure out how to feed weird alien baby on survival training rules while she's stranded on an alien planet with no support from her ship and crew :)

[thankeywa]

Star-crossed | Lo'ak x fem!human!reader pt. 2

Part two of my Lo'ak x reader fic (you can find part 1 here), also posted on @lucozadehulahoop. Trying to post all of my avatar stuff on this account, so follow me on here like the 7 badasses who already have done so! Thank you all so much for the love, this story is ongoing so let me know if you want to be on the tag list. I will be getting to some requests next! Unfortunately, it is exam season for me y'all, but keep the requests coming because writing keeps me sane.

part 3 part 4

Warnings: once again, both Lo'ak and the reader are 20y/o, and there will be eventual mature stuffs, MINORS DO NOT INTERACT with this or anything on my accounts.

words: 1K

summary: reader is a human left behind on pandora, she grew up with the remaining humans who'd been aloud to stay on the planet after the war and has been friends with the Sully clan her entire life. She and Lo'ak were best friends until he began to pull away from her in their teen years for seemingly no reason. This story is about them reconnecting on the day of her twentieth birthday, and dealing with the feelings they have for each other and the obstacles that come with them being from two different worlds.

Translations for this chapter:

Ngaru lu fpom srak? = Are you alright?

Eywa ngahu = (May) Eywa be with you

Y/n stepped outside the bunker and turned around the corner. Lo'ak was there, after all, hastily trying to get up and off his ass before she could see him. He cussed, giving himself away, but only managed to get back up on his knees, before freezing in his tracks. He hadn't seen her face to face in so long, he didn't know what to do with himself. Why was it so hard for him to even say a word all of a sudden? Lo'ak felt like he couldn't breathe.

The sunlight had gone, but now the entirety of the forest was a glow with the night, along with the 'freckles' on the Na'vi's skin, making him look like a constellation come to life. Y/n could see it: how much taller Lo'ak had grown since the last time she'd seen him. He'd also filled out his lanky features a little more; she imagined it was due to all of that training Jake and Neytiri put their kids through. "Hey..." she hugged herself, not really dressed for the cold air of the night. "Ngaru lu fpom srak?" She asked in concern, but he simply stared back at her. "Are you hurt? Is something out there...?"

"I'm fine." Lo'ak managed finally, and y/n looked away.

That was all he had to say to her after all those years?

All of a sudden, Y/n felt stupid and naive. Who was to say he'd come to see her on purpose? It had just been her own wishful thinking playing tricks on her. With how much of a clutz she remembered Lo'ak being, he'd most likely just fallen out of a tree by accident. She'd just wanted to check he wasn't in any immediate danger.

"Well." She quipped. "If there's nothing I can do for you, Eywa ngahu." Y/n bid him goodnight, and Lo'ak had to bite his tongue to stop himself from calling out to her. He'd made the mess they were in, and now y/n probably thought he'd shown up just to mess with her head. Eywa knew, he hadn't meant for y/n to see him. He'd just wanted to get a glimpse of her, tired of hearing his family constantly talking about her with him no longer being a part of her life.

By his own fault, nobody else's, as Neteyam had said.

But no, it wasn't just that. What did his brother know? What did any of them understand of the pain he was in? He was in love with a human. With his best friend. Someone who could never want back him the same way he did. Someone so infuriatingly understanding and accepting of him, she'd just talked to him with the same kindness and patience in her eyes as she'd done since they'd been kids together. As if he hadn't thrown it all back in her face. As if the past four years had never happened.

Why couldn't she just hate him?

"You know what—" He started, but was immediately cut off.

The second y/n was a about to turn away and walk the other direction, a blood curling growl was heard from the not so far away distance, and she immediately reached out for Lo'ak, who was about to run his mouth as always. Too distracted with what was going on in his own head to see the danger around him. He'd knelt down to her level, which made shutting his mouth a lot easier.

Y/n hadn't even thought about the fact that she'd basically pinned the Na'vi against the outside wall of her home, as if she could shield him from whatever hell was out there, until she could feel his laboured breath against her skin.

Something was moving out there, and that was all she could think about.

"I-N-S-I-D-E." She signed across the plane of his chest. "N-O-W." y/n looked into Lo'ak's yellow eyes to see if he'd understood that they would have to reasume talking another time.

She leaned against his side, guiding them slowly through the dark, when suddenly the damn fool decided to hoist her up and start running. It didn't fail to alert the Thanator that had been out prowling nearby for a midnight snack. Y/n dug her nails into Lo'ak's skin, probably drawing blood, and struggled to keep quiet as they got through the door. She yanked the Na'vi inside with her, not trusting Lo'ak not to do something stupid like stand outside and fight the apex predator of the forests of Pandora.

"Shit, shit, shit‐"

"Shut. Up." They snapped at each other in the dark in hushed tones.

She put out all the lights and they both lay down on the floor, holding onto each other as they listened to the beast's heavy paws prowl the grounds just outside her door, along with the slight snarl it made every time it exhaled. Lo'ak held her close, maybe a little too tight, while his other hand went to his dagger.

If the Thanator did decide it was going to attack the bunker until it got through, Lo'ak was going to throw himself at it with everything he had. He wanted to say everything he hadn't told y/n up until that point, realizing how cruel it would be for either one of them to die thinking their once best friend hated them. Y/n saw the Thanator's shadow on her kitchen floor as it passed by the window, and closed her eyes, pressing her forehead against Lo'ak's shoulder.

"Eywa, please, not him. He is he one of your people... I'll do anything. Please..." She chanted, mustering up her best Na'vi as tears began to stream down her face.

Y/n couldn't believe it. She actually was praying. Not that she didn't believe Eywa was a very real goddess. Y/n simply didn't think humans had the right to ask anything of the Mother of Pandora. Yet she meant it, wholeheartedly. She would have repaid any debt in exchange for Lo'ak safety, knowing full well that the words that were leaving her mouth were not to be taken lightly.

And Lo'ak knew it too.

He was the one to muffle her ramblings this time, covering her mouth with his overly large hand, eyes wide with fear, and his ears now pointed backward. Y/n had just vouched for his life to be saved at any price.

What have you done?

Lo'ak wanted to scream at her, and he knew she could see it in his eyes. Y/n didn't care.

Her prayers had just been answered and the Thanator was gone.

tag list for the people who asked for part 2: @aleromania, @ghostjoohoney

[moiravim]

Roughen Up Part 5: Girl's Dormitories

Roughen Up Masterlist

Regulus Black

Tonight was a lot. I into the common room. People are still partying, but thankfully I had missed the climax. I make my way past everyone and to the staircase going to the girls dormitory.

I start to climb the staircase when the steps turn, making a slide, causing me to fall down.

A few Slytherins give me weird looks, but my focus stays on the staircase. What just happened?

I carefully put my foot back on the step and it happens again. This is what happens when the boys try going to the girl's dormitories.

It shouldn't be happening to me. All my things are up there. My books, my clothes, everything I care about is up there.

How does the staircase even know? I really wish Dorcas was here. She'd know what to do, and if not, she could at least get me my stuff.

I was going to wait for her, but then I saw someone I recognized walking down the staircase.

I think her name is Marlene. She's a Gryffindor who's friends with my brother. Not only that, but she's wearing Dorcas' sweater. I decide not to question if they're together.

"Hey, Marlene, right? Do you know where Dorcas is?", I ask. She looks at me confused. "Um, yeah... She's in her dorm", she responds, confused.

"Could you please go get her for me? It's urgent". Marlene looks at me like I'm not speaking English. There is a long, akward silence and I get ready to repeat myself when Marlene shrugs, nods, then walks back up the stairs.

I know I should be upset to get to my room, but it sort of makes me happy. It makes me feel like I'm a real boy.

I think I'll come out as trans to Dorcas when she gets here. She doesn't seem all that straight herself.

Finally, Dorcas comes around the corner and walks down the staircase. She looks pissed.

"Why didn't you just come up to our dorm?", she asks. I wait for her to finish going down the stairs for me to take a step forwards.

The staircase changes again, making me loose my balance.

Barty Crouch jr

My best friend is Evan Rosier. We've known each other for what feels like forever, but in reality has been quite short.

To be honest, I knew I liked him since the day I saw him. We met during the sorting ceremony, and we haven't really separated since.

He's the only person who makes me feel happy and normal.

I wish I could just surround myself with Evans and never see anyone else ever again.

Everyone else acts like I'm crazy. Maybe I am crazy. But Evan makes me feel sane.

I hear a light knock on the door before it opens. It's Evan and his twin sister, Pandora.

Pandora is nice, but she's pretty weird. At the same time, she's probably the most supportive person I know.

She knows Evan and I are together. She's so sweet about it. If my father found out he'd kill Evan and then me. And possibly all and any witnesses.

Some may call Evan and I 'puppy love', but in my opinion we're meant for eachother. I have a feeling whatever this is, it's going to last.

"Hey, Barty. What are you up to?", Evan asks. I'm thinking about him, that's what I'm doing. "Nothing. What about you?"

He shrugs. "Panda and I were just walking around campus. Did you know how many Hogwarts secrets there are? We keep finding passageways".

Evan is a very active person. He could run all around the school for days. Sometimes I'm like that too, but most of the time I don't want to do anything.

"I'm gonna go sit in the common room", Pandora says as she walks out of the dorm. "Ok! Be careful! Technically your not supposed to be in here", Evan responds. He's right. She's a Ravenclaw in the Slytherin common room. But no one really seems to care about those rules.

Evan jumps onto my bed, collapsing next to me.

Pandora Rosier

I go down the staircase from the boys dormitories. That's when I see her. The girl I met in the library. She's talking to another Slytherin. They both seem upset.

"Hey, is everything okay over here...?", I ask.

"Who are you?", the slytherin girl asks. "Oh! My name is Pandora. Sorry, I didn't mean to intrude".

"Regulus, do you know her?", I hear the girl whisper. Regulus? Is that a nickname? It's a bit strange. 'Regulus' nods.

"Pandora, this is Dorcas. My roommate. Or... Ex roomate", she explains. What does she mean ex roommate? "He can't go up the staircase to our dorms. It won't let him", says Dorcas.

'Him'. Regulus must not be a girl. I guess I should have asked him for his pronouns when we first met.

"What are your pronouns?", I asked him. He responds immediately; "he/him... I just came out. I don't know what to do, I can't get to my dorm and it's getting late".

He just seems so stressed, all I want to do is help him.

So I do.

"My brother has a dorm you can sleep in. There's two extra beds, he'd be selfish to refuse you", I say.

Regulus smiles and nods. I'm happy I could help him. "If you ever need any help transitioning or anything, I'm here. Okay?", I add.

Regulus nods again. "Yeah. Actually, could you help me cut my hair? I'm too scared to do it myself, but I think it would help a lot...", he asks.

I smile at him. "Oh course. Dorcas, would you like to come with?", I question. She shakes her head, "no. I have potions work to do... Sorry".

"It's okay. Don't worry. Come on, Regulus"

I grabbed regulus's hand and guide him to the nearest bathroom. I find a pair of scissors on the way there, and I grab them.

"So...what are we thinking here?", I ask. Regulus shrugs. "I don't know. I just want it shorter...", he says. I nod.

This must be very overwhelming for him. I start cutting small pieces off, making my way up. I stopped once it's a little above his shoulder. "How about this?"

He looks in the mirror and smiles. "Maybe a little shorter?", He asks. "Of course. One moment..." I say, carefully cutting off more pieces. I put more layers in his hair, and put the scissors down when I'm satisfied.

"It's perfect. Thank you Pandora...", He thanks as he looks at himself in the mirror. He finally looks satisfied with his own appearance.

"Your welcome. Now, it's time to go to bed. Come on, I'll take you to my brother, Evan's room".

We walk back to the common room and up to the boys dormitories. He looks nervous, but I send him reassuring smiles. I then knock on Barty and Evan's door.

"Come in!", I hear Evan shout. I open the door. "I brought you guys a roommate! Also, you can't say no. He doesn't have a dorm to go to", I explain.

Evans sighs, but nods. "Yeah, okay. That's fine"

Regular sense me a nervous look, so I take him and guide him to the nearest empty bed. "Get ready for bed, Regulus. I'll help you bring your things here tomorrow. Sounds good?"

I wait for his response. "Sounds good", he lets out an exhausted sigh.

"Barty, Evan... Thanks a lot", I say before walking out.

A/N: I don't really like how people make it seem you need to cut your hair to be trans. You can be trans FTM with long hair, or the other way around. I just wanted Regulus to cut his hair because it makes sense for Regulus. You can most definitely be trans FTM with feminine features. Sorry if I offended anyone with this part.

@jegulusposts @thestarslittleking @doingyourmom069

[pamela-lntt]

Tell us more about Tina's role in the western au, i love the ethel cainfication of her character

OH GLADLY

So I am a big fan of her storyline in qsmp about her being a demon, but feeling a lot of self-hatred for it and believing she needs to be "perfect" to be with qBagi, so I tried translating it for the AU without the whole demon aspect of it since I wanted all of the characters in the main party to be human.

I played with the idea of her having religious trauma and was pretty sold on it since she could see herself as a metaphorical demon that way, but then I read up on a list of example phobias and manias that appear in the Keeper's Rulebook for Call of Cthulhu and found a mania that got me MARRIED to the idea:

Enosimania, also known as the "pathological belief that one has sinned".

The way she joins the party is because of 2 reasons:

Wanting to help Bagi on finding her lost twin brother

Needed something to break the monotony of her life, seeking something new that doesn't involve working in the local saloon or even being in the same village.

Her role in the party, storyline wise, I'm still figuring out (alongside the rest of the party), but I do want her to be a rock of sorts. I feel like her strong belief is what keeps her sane while experiencing the horrors(tm) and thus helps the others do so as well.

It's like, Bagi keeps them in line with her methodical thinking while Tina does so with her emotional thinking (they both have the highest Sanity out of the group, didn't notice this until after I made their character sheets lmao).

As for her own personal journey, I believe she finds it within herself to forgive herself. She will still believe that she is not pure / has sinned, but she'd learn that that doesn't make her lesser than the rest. A big support system for her on this would be Slime since he is the only other religious party member and feels a similar way as she does, though he has a more concrete reason to believe he has sinned (I could talk so much about him too but this is about Tina so another time).

In terms of "why does she feel like she has sinned" it's mainly just the adults around her (which were mainly nuns) chastising her for just being a kid, she really didn't do anything wrong. I'm still building her complete backstory, but that's the key point of it.

Anyways, that's all I can say that is (mostly) set-in-stone for her. Once I develop her more and have more concrete ideas I'll be sure to share !! She's my favorite character to write and draw in this AU alongside Slime so I will definitely have a lot for her once I sit down and give her my full attention.

Here's a doodle of her as a thank you for the ask, anon !! :D

[saiilorstars]

Ch. 31: The Scamander Family

Fandom: Harry Potter (Hogwarts years 1-7) Pairing: Draco x OFC

taglist: @ocappreciationtag  @arrthurpendragon  @anotherunreadblog  @maaaaarveeeeel @stareyedplanet @foxesandmagic @kmc1989

​​​​Story Masterlist // Romina’s Masterlist

Fanfic • Ao3 • Wattpad

If you’d like to be a part of this OC’s work/edits, let me know!

Hogwarts was bursting with all types of rumors following the escape of Sirius Black. It was almost hilarious to learn the ranges of those rumors. Romina had her fair share of laughs only minutes after she was let go from the night wing. After the night they'd gone through (the part they knew about anyways), Madame Pomfrey had kept her, Hermione, Ron and Harry for a night of observation and one "reconstruction".

Now that Romina was free, she did the only sane thing that anyone in her place would do: go to her Common Room and shower. She was eager to put on fresh clean clothes and fix herself up. After all, exams were over and now all they had to do was just lounge about. And for some reason, she felt lighter than she had in a very long time. She was on her way to the library to return the books she'd checked out for the exams when she bumped into Harry. He didn't look too well and upon asking the reason, she found it hard to keep her cheeriness up.

"Poor Lupin," she put a hand over her chest. "He's just going to leave like that?"

"Well, according to him, somebody let it slip that he was a werewolf," Harry rolled his eyes heavily. The whole conversation with Lupin was irritating because it was all due to someone's bitterness. "As if we don't know that it was Snape."

Romina had no doubt about it too. Snape had been beyond livid that Sirius had escaped and pinned the blame on Harry, despite the fact that he wasn't the only one involved in the whole thing. "I'm sorry. He really was the best professor we had for DADA. Definitely the most interesting one."

Harry could only sigh. There was nothing they could do for Lupin now. "Do you want to have breakfast together? Ron and Hermione are already there."

"Nah, gotta return these." Romina gestured to the books in her arms. "Then afterwards, I promised Arden and the group I'd go to Hogsmeade this time. You know, willingly and in a good mood."

Harry half smiled as she bid him goodbye. She was only a few steps away when he called her name. She looked back, eyebrows raised as she waited to hear what he had to say. Harry had no idea how to broach the subject because last time, they didn't exactly talk so much as snap at each other.

"You and, um, you and Malfoy—what's that about?" He supposed that was the best question he was going to be able to form. He watched the confusion flicker across Romina's face as well as the brief, and not so subtle, shift in her stance.

"What do you mean?" she asked, half shrugging her shoulders. "He's...him and I'm...me?"

Harry long knew her tricks to avoid the subject. She used them on the school playground to outwit other students. "Rom," he said sternly.

Romina sighed and turned completely to face him. "What do you want me to say, Harry? I just fixed his nose," she insisted. "Hermione broke it and I didn't want him to go blabbing to Snape." You didn't even think about that you liar. Romina cleared her throat and looked away.

"He wouldn't have," Harry said with absolute certainty. "Because Malfoy could never stand to let people know that he was bested by Hermione Granger, a muggleborn."

Point to Harry.

Romina shrugged again, less confident with her responses. "I just didn't want to take the chance, okay?" Liar. She hadn't once thought about the consequences Hermione could have faced for her action but the realization was scary enough and she definitely wasn't looking to get more questions from Harry.

"Rom, you and I, we've known each other since we were seven...I love you like a sister…"

Romina smiled lightly. "I feel the same. You're my brother."

"Okay," Harry nodded, hoping that this would soften the blow of what he was going to ask next, "So, keeping that in mind, you know, that I just want to make sure that you're okay."

"Yeah, just like I want the same for you."

"Right," Harry said, agreeing, taking a couple steps towards her. "And I get that being in Slytherin means you have to see Malfoy a lot more than we do—an act that I thank you for your service." Romina's lips stretched into a wider smile that could soon become a chuckle. "But, I mean, with everything that's happened, everything I've seen, you and Malfoy...you're not...you know…?"

Romina laughed on cue but absolutely nobody could take away the insane heat that rushed up to her face. "Harry Potter, what the hell kind of question is that?" She laughed so easily that Harry could believe her. "Absolutely not!"

"You sure?" Harry had to ask her again. "Cos, Rom, you know that wouldn't end well. He's not a good match for you."

Romina shrugged her shoulders in a careless manner, convincing too. "Good, because I wasn't looking for one with him. I don't under—I don't understand. You got all this just because I fixed his nose? Do you know how ridiculous that sounds?"

It did sound ridiculous and Harry himself felt very ridiculous, which was why he wanted to quickly move from the subject. "Sorry. I'm...I'm sure you're right. It's not even worth talking about."

"Yeah," Romina nodded at him. "Exactly."

"I mean, you're better off dating Angel Paes."

"Oh God, you know about that?" Romina brought a hand to her face in embarrassment.

Harry grinned. "Yeah. Hermione pointed it out."

"Dammit Hermione!"

"He's loads kinder and, you know, I would tolerate him," Harry said with an innocent face that made Romina laugh.

"Don't even go there! He's never actually made a move and, you know, I don't really see him that way either!"

"You never know," Harry said, beginning to tease her. She suspected that it would become his new game with her.

Romina rolled her eyes. "Not you too. Stop it, Harry Potter, or I'm going to hex you."

"I'm going back to the Dursleys soon—a hex sounds really good right about now."

Romina had no disagreements there. "How about we find something to calm them down before you go home?"

"Sounds like a date—don't tell Angel, though!" Romina groaned while he laughed. Harry preferred this type of atmosphere between them. "I'm done, I'm done," he promised her a moment later. "Sorry."

"You're on thin ice," she warned him. "This entire conversation has put you in quite some danger."

"I had to do it," Harry shrugged. "But no more, promise. I won't ask about you and Malfoy again, I got it."

"Good," Romina said, half smiling. "Because me and him, that's not...that's never happening." She almost laughed at the absurdity of it all.

Harry wholeheartedly agreed with her and started off for the Great Hall.

Romina's lips would slowly purse as the conversation replayed in her head. When she felt fresh new heat, she shook her head. "No," she told herself, turning for the library, "Absolutely not." She made it her mission to solely focus on returning her books then meeting Arden.

~ 0 ~

After coming out of the library, Romina was in a rush to get back to the common room for a quick change of clothes. She didn't want to go anywhere in the uniform. She reached for the hair tie holding her messy bun together as she came down the stairs of the dungeon to get a head start on changing. She had just yanked the hair tie when she crashed into someone on the last step.

"You're making a habit out of this, Oswell!" Draco snapped. He rubbed his forehead after the stumbles of the crash.

"You have eyes too, you know! Use them!" Romina crinkled her nose when she felt the dull ache on her forehead as well.

"Good advice, you should use—oh, you finally took care of that hair!" Draco flapped a hand at Romina's cascading hair. It was back to its original length over her chest and without the blazing red ombre tips.

Romina had already gone through one explanation about her hair change and she really didn't want to confuse herself with her lies with more explanations. "Uh, H-Hermione did a...she did a thing with it." That's the lame excuse she was going for and she would stick with it. "Madame Pomfrey had a ride undoing all of the transfiguration spells I put on it. I am forbidden to touch my hair again for the next 10 years or so."

"Good," the word flew out of Draco. "You were getting annoying with that stuff? And you, know, that's probably what you get for letting Granger of all people touch your hair. Have you seen hers?"

Romina scowled. "This coming from someone who just discovered hair gel isn't a requirement."

Draco rolled his eyes at her. "So does this mean you're finally going back to normal now? Cos that's also been beyond annoying."

"Maybe, I don't know. All I know is that right now things don't feel as bad as they've felt all year. Which is why I need to go change to meet Arden at Hogsmeade." Romina moved around to get into the common room.

"Actually, Oswell, wait a second," Draco's call stopped her inches from the entry. "Before you go to Hogsmeade, meet me at the lake."

"What? What for?"

"You just gotta be there," he said, though he seemed slightly nervous which was very unlike him.

"What are you planning, Draco?" Romina's eyes narrowed on him. "Because I swear to God I am not in the mood for any tricks.

"When have I ever played a trick on you?"

Romina scoffed.

"Oswell, seriously, name one time where I tricked you. Just one." Draco crossed his arms and waited for an answer. Romina was all for giving him one...until she couldn't come up with one. Draco smirked. "Can't think of one?" He called with a smirk on his face.

"I can too think of one!" Romina snapped.

"Name one, then."

Romina scrunched her face. Three years with him and she couldn't think of any moment where he'd played a trick on her? That was...oddly true.

Draco knew exactly when she gave up and so with that, he called out to her again. "So I'll see you by the lake, then?"

"Yes," Romina huffed, rather put out that she had lost. Satisfied with her response, Draco went up the stairs. Romina headed inside the common room to change.

Half an hour later, because she also meant to start packing some of her things, Romina headed for the Black Lake. The heat was reaching unbearable levels so she hoped that whatever Draco had for her wouldn't take a long time.

Things were off to a bad start when Romina didn't see him. He wasn't there. I swear to god if there's a trick…

She took a deep breath in to calm herself. She didn't want to be angry, she felt like that was all she'd been this year. She looked around the area and saw several other students lounging about, including Rolf. Since Draco was nowhere to be seen, Romina decided to pass the time with Rolf.

"Hey Rolf," she greeted the boy. Unsurprisingly, he was near the waters admiring the creatures they could see near the surface.

"Hey," he said, glancing at her then doing a double-take at her. Romina chuckled. "You changed your hair again!"

"Yeah," she said, reaching to take hold of a curl. "Decided maybe it was time to go back to normal, you know?"

"Looks great," Rolf smiled at her. "Are you, uh, feeling better about things, then?"

Romina half sighed. "You know, everyone has been asking me that and so far, I'm not entirely sure that I am but...I feel like I could actually get there again. I mean, I'm not brooding anymore."

"That's something," Rolf said. "The start of a recovery, right?"

Romina nodded. "I don't think I'll ever be able to shake off my parents' legacy though. I'll always have to live with the fact my family is full of dark wizards who did terrible stuff and wherever I go, it's the first thing that people will think about when they see me."

Rolf seemed nervous all of a sudden. He stepped back from the lake, his hands sliding into his pockets. "I don't think that's necessarily true..."

Romina managed a small smile at him. "Rolf, you did the same thing when we first met." She saw the flush on Rolf's face and chuckled. "It's okay. You managed to get past it. I have to believe that others will to."

Rolf let out a heavy breath. "Romina, that's not...that's not exactly what happened."

Romina raised an eyebrow at him. "Then what did?" Rolf held onto his words for what seemed the longest. Romina watched him open and close his mouth several times. "I don't mean to be pushy, but I'm actually supposed to meet Draco in a bit." She looked around and saw that he still wasn't nearby. "Although if he just flaked on me, I'm going to kick his arse."

"Romina, I'm sorry," Rolf's apology was naturally strange to Romina. She didn't understand what he was supposed to be sorry about. "I...I've known about you for a lot longer than this year."

"Yeah, I bet you have," Romina nodded. "First year was absolute hell for me."

"I know, and I'm sorry for never saying anything."

Romina tilted her head at him. "Never saying anything about what?"

Rolf seemed to grow even more nervous. He licked his lips nervously and brought his hands out of his pockets. "I, um, you have to believe me. I was just shocked when I...when I saw you for the first time."

"Okay...that's...that's a fair sentiment, I guess?" Romina thought this was turning very strange, very fast, and she didn't want anything to ruin her cheerier mood, not even Rolf.

Rolf knew she wasn't understanding him and it was his fault for not saying it already. "I've been lying to you, Romina. Back on the first day I talked to you in our Care of Magical Creatures class, I lied to you."

"What do you mean?" Romina instinctively gulped. What if this was going to turn into a huge trick on her? Maybe Pansy was behind it?

"I didn't just happen to talk to you that day. It wasn't random at all. I picked my moment. A-after the library when we bumped into each other, I realized I couldn't just be at Hogwarts without talking to you."

Oh god if he tells me has a crush on me. It was perhaps a pretentious thing to think about but Romina was more afraid than anything at the idea of losing such a good friend in Rolf. She didn't want to think about having to let him down easily.

"See, cos, you...you're...you're not my friend," Rolf said, wincing afterwards when he realized how that sounded.

Romina, meanwhile, gasped. "We're not? Why...why not? I thought we were. Did I...did I do something—"

"No!" Rolf's eyes were no longer on her. They'd fallen to the ground and no matter how many times he attempted to meet her gaze again, he couldn't.

"Then why aren't we friends?" Romina asked frailly.

"It's not like that, Romina. I'm not explaining myself well. I fumble over my words a lot. Especially when I'm nervous." He chuckled to himself. "Apparently, I get that from my grandfather."

"Hm, when I get nervous I tend to get funny. I get more sarcastic." Romina said as a means of comfort and in hopes to lighten up the mood. She was dead afraid of what Rolf wanted to say to her.

"Yeah, you get that from your grandmother, actually."

"Huh?"

Rolf drew in a breath and with all the courage in the world, he looked up at Romina. "You get that from your grandmother, Abigail."

Romina's eyebrows furrowed. "What? How do you...who is that?"

"Your grandmother." Rolf swallowed incredibly hard. He might choke there and then. "And mine."

"What!? Rolf, what the hell are you talking about!?" Romina didn't understand one bit.

"What do you know of your mother's family, Romina?"

Romina didn't want to think about her mother, especially when Rolf was saying such odd things. "I don't know! Who cares! Why are you saying these things!?"

"Romina, it's important," Rolf insisted, and urgently too, "Your mother's family. Do you know any of them?"

Romina shook her head. "No. Uncle Lyonel doesn't really talk about my family on both sides. You can understand why, right?"

Rolf nodded. That made perfect sense and it's exactly what he heard at home all the time. "Of course. I just don't think it's fair that they're hiding part of your family who loves you."

Romina was tired of not understanding. She suddenly wished she was dealing with Draco and his mysterious nonsense rather than this. "Rolf, please just tell me what you're talking about."

Rolf nodded. He supposed he was dragging it out a bit. "Your mum, Elora, she's my grandparents' daughter. She's my aunt. You're...my cousin."

Romina froze in her spot. Her eyes widened to the size of dinner plates. For a second, Rolf had to worry if she was breathing or not. She wasn't moving either.

"Romina?" He called her gently. "Romina…?"

Romina slowly came out of her stupor and when she did, she came out with a tiny laugh. "Sorry, it's just...for a moment I thought you said you and I were—"

"Cousins?" Rolf finished for her. He nodded. "Yeah, we are."

Romina stumbled back a step. "Rolf...that can't...that's not…"

"It is," Rolf promised. "Your mum is the eldest daughter of my grandparents, Abigail and Newt Scamander. My dad is your mother's brother — your uncle. My grandparents are your grandparents. I'm your cousin, Romina."

The noises that left Romina's mouth were the only thing she could muster at the moment. "No, no, because...because I would...I would've known, I...the albums I had, they..."

Rolf felt more guilty as Romina ventured into her past — what she knew of her past — and found that nothing made sense anymore. As happy as the news could be, it was also devastating because what she once knew was no more.

Eventually, her dark eyes flickered to Rolf, her reaction so strong that it was almost like she was devoid of it because she didn't know which emotion to lean on first. "Why didn't you say anything?" Her voice was a frail whisper. "You were here — this whole time you were here and you didn't say anything."

Rolf nodded with his head hanging low. "I know, I'm sorry. I-I knew about you but I had only seen a couple pictures of you until we started Hogwarts. They were baby pictures."

"And when we finally started Hogwarts? What then? You were ashamed of me too?" As angry as Romina wanted to be with him, she knew she couldn't single him out either. There were plenty of people who put distance between themselves and the Oswell family.

"No!" Rolf exclaimed. "I just...I didn't know what to do. At first, when I heard your name in the Sorting, I was shocked. I wrote to my parents and grandparents, telling them that you were here. You were going to Hogwarts with me."

"And then?" Romina's eyes were tearing up. That had been three years ago. Clearly, if they had wanted anything to do with her, they would have reached out to her.

"It's complicated, Romina..." sighed Rolf, but that wasn't enough for her.

"Complicated? They either wanted me in their lives or not!"

"They did! They do! They've always wanted you to be in their lives!"

"So why didn't they do anything!?" Romina practically shouted. Other students nearby began to look at them. "I have lived in the same house my whole life! I've been at the same school for three years! They knew where to find me and they didn't do it! That doesn't sound like a people who wanted me in their lives!"

"After the war, your uncle Lyonel took custody of you. My dad says that Lyonel didn't want you to grow up near wizards in general. Their family name was in ruins and he didn't want you to suffer."

Romina breathed raggedly now as she felt a sob trying to make it out of her throat. She didn't want to make a spectacle in front of the others, not when she had already given them so much content over the year to work with. She turned away from Rolf, dragging a hand through her hair, working on calming herself down.

"My uncle — he knew about this? He knew about the-them?"

"It appears so," Rolf nodded. "Grandma Abby tried to talk to him after you were picked up but Lyonel refused. I think he was so scared that he wanted to personally make sure you were okay."

"By not letting me be with my other family?" Romina smiled sourly at the grass. "I turned out great, didn't I?"

"You did," Rolf said whole-heartedly. Romina turned sideways to see him smiling softly. "You're awesome! You're cool, you're smart, you're so funny."

Romina wiped some of the tears on her cheeks. "Why, um, why didn't they write to me?" Her voice was no longer demanding but instead lamenting. "I've been at Hogwarts for years. They could have written me here."

"I don't know, you'd have to ask them yourself. But one thing I know for sure is how much grandma Abby and grandpa Newt love you. They've been following your track record here at Hogwarts."

"What?" A brief look of panic flashed across Romina's face. Her track record at Hogwarts was less than stellar and this year had to be the worst of all.

"They have some history with Dumbledore so they've been kept in the loop about you."

"What? They went to school here?"

"Just grandpa, but it's honestly a whole other story that I think they would like to tell you."

"I-I can't...this is too much," Romina shook her head. "My whole life, my uncle and aunt knew I had more family who actually wanted to see me and they never said anything?"

There was a time where Romina often asked them about their other family. She was young but she knew they weren't the only Oswell family members. There were other distant members somewhere out there, and that included Elora's family. But whenever she asked or simply touched on the subject, it was almost immediately changed. As time went on, and she admittedly grew bitter about her dark family's legacy, she stopped asking. That was her fault, she now saw. Maybe if she had asked more, if she had been more persistent, they would've cracked and told her about this other side of her family.

But they could have also told you when you started Hogwarts, she told herself. Yes, she could have been more persistent but at the end of the day she was just a kid and they were the adults. They had the responsibility to tell her there were others who wanted to see her. She had grandparents who were right there.

"Romina?" Rolf gently called. When he moved to touch her arm, she stepped away. He tried not to look hurt, knowing it was a proper reaction to everything he had dumped on her. His own parents warned him that if he decided to say anything, she could react this way.

"I...I think I need to sit down..." Romina said slowly, glancing around for an empty spot away from others. "Alone."

Rolf knew exactly what that meant. "Okay," he accepted it without protest. It was fair. "But just...believe me when I say I'm very happy to have met you. I'm only sorry that I was a coward who waited too long to tell you. It's no excuse, I know, but I was scared. I'll write you, if that's okay."

Romina gave him a silent nod. She really needed to be on her own right now. Rolf was reluctant to leave her, though, after the huge bomb he'd dropped on her.

"Scamander, what are you doing here?" Draco's voice carried over seconds before he approached the two. He eyed Rolf with a crinkled nose. "Shouldn't you be off petting some of the gamekeeper's pets?"

Rolf rolled his eyes at Draco. "Seriously not the time but if you're itching for a comment, I bet you're super delighted that the hippogriff escaped, huh?"

The pleasantry was written all over Draco's face at the mention.

"Don't," came Romina's quiet whisper just as his mouth opened. "I just — I really don't want to hear it this time."

"What did I miss?" Draco's eyes shifted between her and Rolf, both curious and admittedly slightly put out. What the hell did Rolf do now?

Romina decided to turn away from the two and head to an empty tree where she could sit and maybe sulk a little bit. Rolf thought it was his time to go and when he did leave, Draco blocked his way.

"What are you up to, Scamander?" He frowned.

"Sod off, Malfoy! I'm not in the mood!" Rolf went to leave but Draco blocked his way again. "What do you care what's going on now? We've known each other for ever and this is probably the longest conversation we've had."

"Don't get it confused, I'm only interested because an hour ago, Oswell was up and grinning again and now suddenly she looks like she's about to throw herself into the lake. What gives?"

"If you're genuinely that interested, go ask her," Rolf said, figuring Romina could use anyone, even him, to vent. "Would do you some good to care about someone else rather than yourself for 10 minutes." He pushed past Draco and went on his way.

As irritated as Draco was, and he was, his curiosity won the best of him and he went to find Romina. She had found herself a spot on the ground, against a tree, and was staring blankly ahead.

"Okay, Oswell, what's the deal now? I thought you said you were done sobbing?"

Romina's eyes flickered from the lake up to him and flashed with anger. "Do I look like I'm shedding a tear to you?" she snapped.

"I don't know, I'm gonna wait it out 5 minutes and see."

"Eugh, go away!" She grabbed a rock from the ground and threw it at him.

"Hey!" He blocked his face with an old book in his hands. "Watch it! I don't need this, you know?"

"Then go away!"

"I could — and would — but I brought you something." Draco held out the book to her.

"I don't need your gifts."

"Would you take a look at the damn thing first?" Draco dropped the book on her lap and crossed his arms. "Look at it," he ordered her again.

Romina thought about the perfect moment she could chuck it at his face...until she saw the cover. "This is the yearbook Parkinson had..." she mumbled. It was the same yearbook where Elora and Caplan were pictured in one of their Hogwarts years. "Why do you have it?"

"I asked Parkinson to see it and she happily gave it to me. Didn't even ask me why I would want it."

Romina scoffed. "Are you really that shocked, though? You can see the humongous crush she has on you from a kilometer away."

"I could say the same thing about Angel."

Romina's head snapped up at Draco. They met each other's looks and upheld it until they both, ironically, rolled their eyes.

"Anyways," Draco went on, "I thought you might want to look at it, hold it, throw it away...or if you're feeling brave, burning it."

Romina curiously lifted an eyebrow at him. "What are you going to do when Parkinson eventually asks you for her book back?"

Draco slid his hands into his pockets then pulled them out. "Oh no, I must have misplaced it." He shrugged.

Romina couldn't help the laugh that broke out from her. "She'll kill you..."

"You just said she's hopelessly in love with me."

"That is not what I said."

"But it's still true."

Romina would have loved to argue but it was very true. Plus, she didn't want to spend time talking about Pansy's unfortunate love life. "Thank you..." She gripped the book in her hands, gazing at its cover. If you open it, you might find your supposed aunt and uncle. She felt knots in her stomach.

"Merlin, Oswell, what the fuck is it now!?" Draco couldn't stand watching Romina anymore. "I will take that book from you right now if you don't tell me!"

Romina thought about throwing the book at him again. She glared at him but in that moment, she couldn't muster that annoyance she usually did it with. "Why didn't you want me to know who Rolf was?"

"Huh?" Draco made a face. Of all the things Romina could have asked, that certainly wasn't what he thought it would be. "What are you going on about now?"

"Listen to me and just answer the question! Back at the library when I bumped into him, you didn't want me to know who he was. Why?"

"I don't—"

"Was it because you knew who he was?"

"Obviously I know who he is—"

"No, I meant because you knew that he was my bloody cousin!?"

"I'm sorry — what!?" Draco's eyes had widened dramatically.

Romina paused her interrogation to gauge his reaction. He seemed genuinely surprised with her right now. Maybe he hadn't known...

"Rolf is your cousin?" The news was too much not to ask more about. "When the hell did he tell you that?"

"Right now!" Romina gestured down to the lake. "Literally 5 minutes ago! Just told me the whole story! Elora is his father's sister, making us cousins!"

Draco stood like a statue for several minutes; the only things moving were his eyes and eyebrows as he thought about the idea. His face was the same one he made whenever she (or Arden) started talking about muggle-related stuff.

"You...you really didn't know?" Her question, albeit soft, still pulled a glare from him.

"No!" he snapped. "Why the hell would I know?"

"I don't know, you seem to always know everything around here—"

"I'm well educated, not a historian! I don't know every fucking member of every family, you know!"

Romina deadpanned him. "You want me to throw you the book?"

"Oh, calm yourself. The problem's not with me, is it? It's with the rest of the world, apparently."

Romina leaned back against the tree. No, her plan was not to be angry at the world again. She found the idea very tiresome. "So...you really had no idea? I mean, no one in your circle knows this?"

"Marriage amongst the sacred 30 is a funny thing..." Draco came over beside Romina and sat down next to her.

"Sacred 30?" Romina couldn't help her face, but it was a rather amusing sight for Draco.

"You are so painfully behind, Oswell. I know for a fact I told you about the Sacred 30 during our correspondence letters two summers ago. The Sacred 30 are the only remaining pureblood families in the wizarding community."

"Honestly, when you started writing essays on that part, I skimmed," Romina said with a dismissive wave of her hand.

Draco rolled his eyes; he wasn't going to waste time being surprised. It sounded like something she would do. "The point I was trying to get to is that the way marriage works usually ends up with your maiden name being forgotten. Eventually, enough time passes and then it really is forgotten. I imagine that's what happened with the Scamander family. That and the fact your mother—"

"Not my mother," warned Romina. "Do not call her that. She isn't. Her name's Elora."

"Fine, Elora married into the Oswell family and that became her name. I imagine once she became a Death Eater, she really made a point to shed her maiden name and anything with it. The Scamanders are regarded as war heroes."

"Why?" Romina shifted on the ground to face Draco. "Rolf mentioned it too but he said...well it doesn't matter. I thought they were just authors and clothing designers."

"The war before the one with you-know-who. Dumbledore fought in it."

"Ooh," Romina made the connection now. "They all fought together?" Draco nodded. "That's how they know each other then."

"Like veterans," said Romina. "And Dumbledore never even alluded to it too..."

"Anyways, congrats, I guess? People are going to love this."

Romina stiffened as a familiar dread began to fall on her shoulders. "Again? I don't — if I have to go through what I did this year all over again, then I would rather not do anything about this! I would rather not meet anyone either!"

"And yet somehow I don't believe that," said Draco, glancing at her with a knowing smile despite her scowl. "Don't give me that look. You just found out you have more family and you're seriously going to tell me that you're not the least bit curious to meet them?"

"I don't know," Romina huffed and leaned back on the tree, crossing her arms. "If they had wanted to meet me before, they would've done it. My uncle tried to stop them but...I mean...if you really want something, why would you stop?"

"Maybe in fairy tales, things might have gone in that direction, but in this life? Things are not the way it seems and the quicker you accept that, the easier your life will be."

"What the hell would you do, then? If you were in my spot, what would you do?"

Draco was quiet for a few minutes. Romina was just waiting for him to come out with some smartass response about the whole thing.

"I wouldn't do a damn thing," he retorted. Romina looked at him suspiciously. "Why would I? I don't need anything from them."

"You wouldn't need anything from them?" repeated Romina who then scoffed. "Seriously?"

"What?" shrugged Draco. "If they didn't want to see me, then why the hell would I give them my time of day?"

"But — what about the questions you have? Because trust me, there would be some questions!"

Draco scoffed. "I wouldn't have any!"

"Yes you would!"

"No, I wouldn't."

Romina got more worked up the more Draco denied what she swore was true. "Yes, you would!" she finally snapped and pulled herself up from the ground. She glared down at Draco. "Because they are your family whom you just found out about after 13 years of bloody secrets! You would want to meet them! You would want them to tell you why didn't they look harder for you? Why did they give up on you!?"

Draco's expression remained cool under Romina's hard glare. Little by little, a smirk started worming across his face. "Well, then I guess I know your summer plans, don't I?"

It took Romina another moment to realize what he had done. She let out a heavy breath, mentally trying to decide whether to strangle him or appreciate his gesture. It was a very tough decision.

Draco started getting up and he picked up the yearbook off the ground. "You're welcome," he said as he held the book out to Romina.

She was beyond dumbfounded in the end and the more she thought about it, the more flushed she got. "I..." She was at a loss for words.

"You're tired," Draco said, and grabbed her hand to place the book on. "I suggest you go back to your dorm and just...stop thinking about it. At least for 10 minutes. After that, things don't seem as bad anymore."

Romina got the faint feeling that he spoke from direct experience. If it was, then it would be the first time Draco talked about himself in a real way. Not the showing off type of stuff he usually did. "Thank you," she whispered to him.

Draco nodded at her. He started leaving when Romina suddenly called him again.

"Could you...could you not tell anyone about this?" she nervously asked. "I'm not quite ready for people to...find out more about me again."

"Whatever you want." Draco flashed her a smile and went on his way. He missed the light smile that crossed Romina's face.

A/N:

Been waiting to drop that one! Romina is part of the Scamander family! And her grandmother is another of my OCs, Abigail, and obviously a Fantastic Beast oc but it's still in the drafts! But anyways, happy ending for book 3! Book 4 is where the real fun/drama starts ;)

[bibiana112]

HIIII ive seen you mention your ztd aftermath fic a few times in tags and id rly like to know more... feel free to yap about it im curious

Hiii hellooo SO!!! Something that always sticks out to me with fics that touch a little on the immediate post ztd reactions is that things just kind of sort themselves out and everyone chills out for a little bit which I cannot see happening like no wayyy it's okay for the purposes of other people's fics but personally I'm a staunch believer in effort going into the smallest things in life especially when it involves a group of people and especially when you're fucked up as they'd be after that and it's something I love exploring in my writings like expanding in gross detail on the more mundane ups and downs between all the high stakes stuff like I don't think they'd walk out of there working in harmony at allll there'd be so many factors going into how everyone would be thinking and how they'd interact with each other and how the lives they've lead would inform the new trauma after that and how each of them would react to their immediate circumstances like on a physical level

I mean. Diana is completely new to any of this stuff and she's supposed to just transition seamlessly into a sudden new commited relationship and a daughter her own age? Phi has not gotten a single break since she experienced the events of vlr and has a whole complex about where she comes from and she's supposed to feel uncomplicated joy at finding out these are her parents and that the motherfucker that made the virus that's been making her life hell for a week is related to her? It's just been one week for her and that's so long but so little too she'd still have a connection to most of her old life? That shit isn't true about Sigma what's he supposed to do since Akane lied to his face about not knowing what happened at the test site for decades? It's not even something she remembers doing to him but he remembers spending a lifetime with her I love the ztd booklet scene of them interacting during d-com he asks Akane not to let her future self lie to past him point blank and she just says what he wants to hear and Phi stands in silence like she can't wrap her head around why he thinks for even a second that she'd be honest about being honest but stil extending enough goodwill to silently wait and see if she will. the man would be having a whole crisis of faith

Where do they leave Sean? Should he just stay with Q-team wouldn't he need maintenance and therefore stay in contact at least with Sigma? Eric doesn't remember much so he'd shockingly be one of the most calm people there, he'd have to deal with some revelations but Sean informed them of it in a good enough way that he seemed to take it well enough and even if that's not true he's the most high masking mf of the entire cast he wouldn't let himself step on other people's toes, if anything he'd only be set off by how everyone would have something to hold against Mira now, she kills everyone once except Carlos and Akane and she doesn't remember but they do, in fact there being a serial killer in their midst memo never gets to c-team delta never tells the whole snail story to every team. Would Mira just turn herself in without any resistance? Wouldn't someone have to talk her into it or at least make sure that's what she's really going to do since the stakes are so high? It's her fucking fault rad-6 got out too the characters have no reason to trust she's just gonna beeline to a police station. Carlos would probably be fine for the most part but he wouldn't be around long to keep everyone else sane especially Junpei and Akane because he'd probably go check on Maria as soon as possible especially since we're led to believe avoiding the apocalypse helps her recover

Akane herself would be all sorts of fucked up about it, there'd be so much pressure on her by everyone there and she'd try to be forward thinking and work on the extremist stuff immediately without processing anything and overcompensate the new recent failure to foresee dange and her revictimization by being even more controlling and inconsiderate to the others which is an energy Junpei would match I think especially going off his enneagram they'd be immediatly set in like an unhealthy loop of behaviors that push each other's trauma buttons on accident until they're hurting cause they're both trying to rush things and put each other in idealized boxes they imagined and having things their way Junpei is gonna come off much worse probably cause he's not a pov character and he's canonically an underhanded asshole when he has reson to be and he would not trust akane or her brother wouldn't be trying to pull another fast one on him so soon especially if we assume he has restored memories of the c-team ending too he'd like get keyed up and paranoid of being away from her for even a second

There are so many logistics involved in transporting and keeping in contact with people while simultaneously making sure no one leaks any sensitive information and that's probably important for Crash Keys and would fall mostly on Aoi to keep track of but he would in my opinion not be doing very okay either be it out of separation anxiety a level of psychically feeling like shit because of what akane goes through or just stress from preparing for an apocalypse more likely all of the above lol And he'd be working with half the info everyone else has cause if Akane doesn't pace herself in passing the new info to him he's gonna snap

Like I don't think these issues would be a slow burn to boil over, I think everything would feel like it's all going wrong from the get go and that kind of stress can be palpable in a group setting even if they're not under direct threath of death anymore I mean that's what ptsd is it's when you get fight or flight or freeze levels of fear in an entirely safe environment due to perceived instability and then they'd eat and rest and deal with it better for the next day, be more functional and levelheaded about everything going forward and even perhaps apologize and help each other out, and they'd be like that for a good while until underlying issues start to surface again in individual relationships cough mostly the junepei cough

[highwaytothedangerzone502]

Foxtrot Alpha Alpha - Chapter 22

Pairing: Hangman x Female OC

Word Count: 3206

Warnings: Swearing, grief, death

Summary: Hangman learned his lesson a long time ago to never show his true feelings when someone's words or actions hurt him. To do so showed weakness that could be exploited, and Seresin men couldn't show weakness. Of course, there was an exception to every rule, and Jake's always came in the form of women, three in particular: his mom, Juliette Kazansky, and the girl whose name he could no longer bring himself to speak. She was the girl that got away; she was his biggest 'what if' and his biggest regret; she would forever be the ghost that haunted his dreams. Jake believed that's where she'd stay, for he would surely never see her again after what he did.

Or so he thought.

Notes: This is the sequel to India Lima Yankee; I'm using the same callsign for the Female OC as in Ghost Story because I just really like it, but they are different characters; chapters in italics are flashbacks. Also happy birthday @shanimallina87!!

Chapter Songs: State of Grace (Acoustic) Labyrinth

****

Ghost

After the catharsis of finally admitting all her troubles, concerns, and self-loathing for having felt the way she did for so long, a small weight lifted off of Ghost's shoulders. Juliette, the saving grace that she was, had listened so graciously and consoled her distraught friend when needed. She had validated the fact that Ghost had endured a severely traumatic experience, and while Ghost herself recognized this, she had never truly been able to accept it because why had no one else reacted similarly to her after enduring such a horrific event? Why had others been able to move past such awful circumstances, whereas she held onto this grudge for years?

Maybe because I technically lost two people I loved that day...

The realization did not help lessen the knot in her throat, but Raptor laying next to her with his head on her knee while she built the crib certainly eased her anxiety. Add in Juliette's uncanny ability to keep Ghost talking while avoiding any topic where Hangman would be brought up, she found herself wholly at ease again. Not long after, the first crib sat fully constructed on the girl's side of the room.

Ghost and Juliette stood, admiring their handiwork and teamwork. The latter inquired, "How long do you think this would've taken the boys?"

"Oh, at least a week. In their defense, they only had the Chinese instructions. We found the English ones. That did help."

"True, but we're not going to tell them that, are we?"

"Oh, hell no. We'll make them think we're just that good." Ghost grabbed the instructions and crumpled them up. "Hey, is my makeup okay? I'd be amazed if my earlier breakdown didn't ruin it somewhat."

Juliette studied her friend's face. "Yeah, we might want to touch up your eyeliner. It's smudged enough that the boys might question it. Come on."

The girls headed to Juliette's bathroom, the dogs on their heels. Sure enough, when Ghost caught her reflection, she grimaced at the messy eyeliner. It definitely gave away her tearful confession. Juliette dug through her makeup bag and handed Ghost her concealer and pencil liner.

"You're a lifesaver in so many ways today," Ghost said, leaning forward to apply the makeup.

"This is what friends are for. Besides, you saved mine when I passed out at the Hard Deck."

"Any of the Daggers could've done that."

"Yeah, but you kept Rooster calm at the hospital. Trust me, that's not an easy feat. He's distrusted doctors ever since they misdiagnosed his mom's cancer, and he's not trusting them with me either. Seriously, you kept him sane."

"Maverick helped."

"Maybe, but they're still working through some things, relearning each other after over ten years of not speaking," Juliette said, leaning against the counter, "I'm honestly not sure Maverick could've calmed Rooster down the way you did."

"How are they doing?"

"Compared to when the mission training started? It's a million times better. They're still working each other out, seeing how much the other wants them around, how much they can prod without pissing the other off, and it's mainly Maverick being hesitant. He doesn't want to bother Rooster and inadvertently cause him to withdraw from him, but then Rooster still knows when Maverick isn't telling him everything and starts thinking he's hiding some big secret again, and it's a... whole thing."

"Sounds like this happened recently," Ghost noted, putting away the borrowed makeup.

"This morning," Juliette confirmed, shaking her head. "Rooster thinks Maverick is hiding something because he went to the hangar without telling us like he normally does, and I agree with Rooster; I do think Mav is hiding something, but he's also a grown man who doesn't need to tell us everything. I think Rooster's paranoid that his dad's keeping another life-altering secret from him again. I'm trying to convince him that's not going to happen, but you know Rooster: once he gets an idea stuck in his head-"

"It won't go away unless he's proven firmly right or wrong."

Juliette nodded. "Exactly."

"Speaking of Rooster, has he or Hangman texted you about where they are with dinner? I'm starving," Ghost said. Her stomach growled in agreeance with uncanny timing.

"No. I should probably check on them," Juliette mused, taking out her cell phone. As if their ears had been burning, the garage door opened, followed by the irked voices of Hangman and Rooster. Sharing dubious glances, the girls went to greet them and to check what had taken so long. Upon seeing the men, it took no time to figure out why. Paint splattered their jeans and shirts and speckled their faces, hair, and Rooster's mustache.

Ghost looked them up and down in disbelief. "Did you have a fight with a paint can?" 

"Actually-" Rooster started, setting his bag of food on the counter and glaring at Hangman- "you wouldn't be far off."

"They shouldn't have had an open paint can on an unstable ladder," Hangman grumbled, setting his bag on the counter.

"You shouldn't have been near said unstable ladder!"

"It was either that or us getting barrelled into by that biker gang, and I'm choosing the damn paint, Bradshaw."

"You could've pulled us in the other direction," Rooster pointed out.

"Yeah, but it was farther. You're the one who tripped on your own damn feet and caused us to start falling in the first place."

"You're lucky they love Juliette so much; otherwise, I don't think we'd be allowed back there." Rooster turned to his fiancée and said, "We went to Home Depot to get them a new can of paint, and it was a bitch to find. That's what took so long. I'm sorry."

Juliette laughed. "I always know to add an extra hour onto whatever errand you're running when it's you two. Why don't you take off your clothes, change into new ones, and I'll try to get these stains out?"

"Honey, if you wanted to see me shirtless, all you had to do was ask," Rooster teased, winking playfully at his future wife while stripping off his shirt. Hangman followed suit, and Ghost tried to avert her eyes so she wouldn't be caught ogling his Adonis build, but a few sneak peeks happened. 

The two men hurried to the master bedroom to grab some new clothes. Juliette and Ghost both peered around the corner, watching them go. The girls glanced at each other, then burst out laughing and hurried back to the counter before Rooster and Hangman caught them.

"What are you two giggling about?" Rooster asked when he returned, wrapping his arms around Juliette's waist from behind and resting his head on her shoulder. Hangman stopped on the opposite side of the island, watching the couple with an unidentified emotion.

"Nothing," she and Ghost said simultaneously.

"I find that hard to believe," Hangman jested. He grabbed some of the to-go containers and placed them on the table. Ghost followed with the remaining ones, purposefully putting her food next to his to reserve her spot. She wouldn't separate Rooster and Juliette because of her feelings toward Hangman. She would take the high road and continue being as cordial as possible with him in front of others. 

The group sat down and dug into the food, chatting amiably about wherever the conversation led them. Ghost tried to bring herself to ask Hangman questions directly but choked on the words every time. What could she ask? What could she say? How could she even think about attempting to reach out when she couldn't think of a simple thing to say to him?

Ghost listened to the bantering between Hangman and Rooster, but Juliette fiddling with her necklace caught her attention. After commenting on how pretty the dainty anchor locket was, Juliette responded, "Thanks! It was the first gift Rooster ever gave me when we started dating. It has our saying on the back: India Lima Yankee."

"India Lima Yankee?" Ghost repeated, perplexed.

"Means 'I love you' in the phonetic alphabet. It's how we used to say I love you when we were just friends, so our other friends wouldn't read anything into it. Of course, then we started dating, but we let it stick."

"That's so sweet!" 

"Yeah, I had a crush on her for the longest time," Roosted admitted, jumping into the conversation. He placed his hand on Juliette's thigh. "I meant the saying romantically for most of the time we started saying it, but I never realized she did too until we finally admitted our feelings for each other."

Ghost smiled nostalgically, the story reminding her of what she and Hangman used to say to each other. Without thinking, she said, "I had a similar situation with a friend. We loved each other, albeit only platonically, unlike you two, but still kind of similar. We had a saying we reserved for each other only, too."

"What was the saying?" Juliette asked, her gaze flicking momentarily over to Hangman.

"Forever and always. I would say, for example, 'I've got your back.' He would respond with 'Forever,' and I would say 'and always.'"

"Oh, that's adorable!" Jules gushed. "I'm blanking right now, but what would that be in the phonetic alphabet?"

"Foxtrot Alpha Alpha," Hangman said, staring at Ghost with a mixture of confusion and wistful reminiscence and the silent question: why are you bringing this up?

Ghost held no answer for him because she had no clue herself. The memory popped into her head and rolled off her tongue before she could consider the consequences of voicing it. Maybe this was her sign to rekindle her friendship with Hangman. Maybe she had to suck it up and accept that she would never get an explanation from him about that fateful day. Or perhaps she had to start the friendship again in order to get the explanation. It was worth a shot. 

"I like that: Foxtrot Alpha Alpha," Juliette said, standing up from the table and grabbing her empty container along with the others'. 

"People might think you're referring to the Federal Aviation Administration," Roosted joked. Standing up, he added, "I'm going to work on the crib some more, see if I can make heads or tails of those instructions. Hangman, you coming?"

"Right behind you." Jake followed Rooster to the bedroom. Juliette and Ghost locked eyes and silently waited for the impending interrogation about the newly built crib. Sure enough, hardly five seconds later, the boys returned, and Rooster said, "Now, I could've sworn when Hangman and I left, the crib had not been built."

"Maybe it was the dogs," Juliette suggested innocently, popping a missed fried crawfish into her mouth.

"I might believe that if they had opposable thumbs, but they don't. Please tell me you did not build that by yourself."

"Don't worry, I sat the entire time. Ghost did all the heavy lifting. Literally."

Rooster sighed. "Fine, fine. Did you find the English instructions?"

"No, we followed the Chinese ones," Ghost lied easily, standing up and stretching. "I don't know what you two found so difficult about them. Y'all need help with the second one?"

"We could probably use some supervision," Hangman said, meeting Ghost's gaze. Unless she was mistaken, she saw a glimmer of hope in his green eyes.

"Count us in," Juliette chirped. They all headed into the nursery and sat down to build the last crib. Juliette, now wholly outnumbered, sat in the recliner and watched. She asked, "By the way, Ghost, how's Jackie?"

"Oh, shit, I completely forgot to tell you about that!" Ghost exclaimed, straightening in surprise. She dove into the story of her sister's woes and broken marriage. Hangman, Juliette, and Rooster listened intently, aghast at the flimsy excuses Ryan had given Jackie for ending their relationship so suddenly.

"That smells fishy," Hangman declared in distaste. "Sounds like there's someone else in the picture."

"I started wondering the same thing. However, I didn't want to say anything when she was already distraught. We'll likely find out if it's true sooner or later. See, this is why I don't trust marriage. Outside of you two-" she waved the Allen key at Juliette and Rooster- "I see so many problematic marriages. Hell, even my parents briefly split up about a year before I was born, if only for two weeks, but still. Now Jackie and Ryan, so many people from high school-"

"Oh, yeah, I saw Braxton and Paxton were getting divorced. Guess they couldn't come up with a kid's name that rhymed with theirs," Hangman joked.

Ghost chuckled. "See, the one that shocked me was Nelly and PJ. They seemed so smitten."

"Did you go to the ten-year reunion?"

"No. I wasn't friends with anyone, and I didn't want to stand around awkwardly while everyone else caught up. Did you?"

"Are you kidding? I couldn't wait to get out of high school. Why would I want to go back?" Hangman finished tightening the last screw, and the group stood up. "Well, looks like we can get a lot done with the girls watching over us."

"And when we have English instructions," Rooster added, glancing at the aforementioned packet lying on the floor next to his feet. 

Juliette joined the group to admire the handiwork. "Thanks for helping you two. We owe you."

Hangman waved a dismissive hand. "Nah, this is on the house for our future niece and nephew. I think Uncle Jake and Aunt Annalise have a good ring to it." 

"Agreed. If y'all need help with anything else, you know who to call," Ghost said, checking her phone. "I should get going. I promised I'd talk to Jackie later to see how breaking the news to Mom and Dad about her divorce went."

Jake turned his attention to Rooster. "Bradshaw, it's been fun."

Rooster frowned. "No, it hasn't."

"We make a good team," Jake continued, offering his hand to shake.

Bradley took it and broke into a grin, replying, "No, we didn't. It was a disaster."

"I look forward to the next project." He and Ghost headed to the front door with Juliette and Rooster behind them. Bidding the couple farewell, the two aviators left the house and walked silently down the sidewalk to their rides.

"You okay getting home this late?" Hangman queried, unlocking his truck. 

"Yeah, I'll be fine," Ghost said, wondering where the question had arisen.

"You feel safe getting home by yourself?"

"Yeah. Why?"

Hangman rubbed the back of his neck. "I've been worried about you ever since you told me about Kyle. I don't trust him not to stalk you because his behavior is obsessive already. And look, if you're saying you feel safe because it's me and you want me to leave you alone, then just let me know, and I'll get Coyote or Rooster-"

"Jake-" Ghost interrupted- "I'm not saying I'm fine to get you off my back. I'm telling you that because it's true. If I felt unsafe, I would rather have you escort me home than potentially risk my safety."

Hangman nodded. "Good, good. I, uh, I'll let you go. Enjoy your night, Annalise. I guess I'll see you around."

"Yeah, see you around." Ghost turned toward her bike and then stopped, an idea popping into her head of how she could potentially break the ice between them and set them on the road of reconciliation. She took a deep breath and called, "Hey, Jake?"

He whirled around instantly. "Hmm?" 

"Something dawned on me earlier-" Ghost stepped toward him with her hands clasped tightly in front of her- "you and I are both close to Juliette. We're not going to be able to avoid each other because of it, and I don't want Jules to feel like she has to choose between us. It's not fair to her. I understand I'm the one who cut contact between you and me, so I felt the need to be the one who tried to reestablish it. I'm not- I'm not saying we need to hang out outside of other people's invites-"

"Then what are you saying? Because I know it's not that you want to be friends again."

The sadness in his eyes added the missing emotion to his stoic tone, and Ghost ached to reach out for him, to embrace him and confess how much she'd missed him all these years, that she did want to be friends again but didn't know how or where to begin repairing what had been broken between them. Ghost forced herself to stay rooted to the spot and mulled over what to say. Hangman would sense if she lied, so she twisted the truth. "I'm not sure we can be friends again, not in the way we once were, but I do believe we need to find a way to at least become friendly acquaintances. For Juliette's sake and our future niece and nephew's."

Hangman nodded. "Agreed."

Ghost offered her hand, and he shook it. She barely managed to stop herself from shivering at the contact and the tingling sensation engulfing the parts of her hand where his skin touched hers. Snatching her hand back before her mind traveled down the road of desire, Ghost cleared her throat and said, "Good, good... well, I should, uh, I should get home. See you around?"

"Yeah. Are you going to be at dogfight football this Saturday?"

"I don't know." It sounded better than saying, 'I haven't gotten an invite from Maverick because, despite his cordialness to me the other day, I don't think he likes me.'

"Why not?"

Ghost shrugged. "The invite was a one-time thing last time. I don't want to show up uninvited."

"Then this is me inviting you. Besides, if you say no-" a cocky smirk spread across his chiseled face- "I'll tell Juliette, and then she'll call you asking where you are. We don't want her thinking it's because of our fall-out."

Ghost narrowed her eyes at him. "Are you using my own argument against me?"

"Yes," he said unabashedly.

Ghost tried but failed to bite back a smile. "Fine. I'll come."

"Great. I'll pick you up at nine. That way, we can swing by Starbucks on the way there."

"I can drive myself." Despite her protest, Ghost couldn't ignore her heart fluttering in anticipation at the idea of being alone with Hangman in his truck. A flood of memories washed over her: singing along to country music while cruising down roads in his passenger seat, sitting in the bed of his truck while star-gazing, and chatting while they drove through the hills of the Smoky Mountains to escape the Academy and see the fall foliage among so many others.

"Yeah, but then you can back out at the last minute, and I'm not letting you do that. I'll see you Saturday at nine sharp." Not giving her the chance to respond, he winked cheekily at her before getting in his truck. Ghost smiled to herself while she went to her motorcycle, simultaneously elated and nervous about the new situation she'd put herself in with Hangman. This plan would either take off or crash and burn. Right now, she couldn't tell which way was more likely, but Ghost knew what she hoped for.

****

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[imamxdel]

weekend getaway, without the kids; whether it’s to redo honeymoon or whatever! Go wild! [ Daehyun -> Sorom ]

Something felt really different this time. Sorom had taken plenty of trips outside the country without the kids, all of them for work, but never as a vacation. Every time she'd travelled for fun, they'd always come with, always laughing and enjoying their destination while Sorom took too many pictures of her adorable family.

Getting woken in the hotel room with the twins jumping on their bed and Daehyun playfully tackling them in to the mattress, eventually the kids falling back asleep tucked in between their parents, Sorom messing with Hana's hair and Minjun tucked protectively against his father even while he slept. It felt a lot emptier that morning when the two of them woke up on their own without an alarm or without jumping toddlers.

Sorom knew she'd miss them, but didn't think it would be this much. She knew they were safe with her parents, and knew that they'd be happy since her parents were probably spoiling them rotten with love and attention. It didn't matter that she'd facetimed with them every night and still managed to read them a story at night from over the phone and watched them fall asleep clutching the plushies Daehyun had gifted them, she still ached to hold them.

Being invited to Paris Fashion Week had been a great honor for Sorom. And still, despite five years of marriage, her husband found new ways to surprise her as he'd failed to mention his fluency until the two of them landed and gotten them a cab to their too luxurious hotel and stunned her in to a near state of shock. Just as she'd failed to mention that she'd secretly listened to him talk on the phone whenever he spoke in English because she just loved hearing him speak in different languages.

Daehyun was the only thing keeping her sane. It was a bit easier to forget how much she missed her children as the days grew a bit busier with work, though as it turned out she was just an invited guest and she was stressing for nothing. He continued to amaze her as he guided most of the conversations with other attendee's since her lack of language skill held most of them back. She'd gotten a little better with english, a bit more japanese, but nothing close to his skill.

Paris really was beautiful. Sorom walked hand in hand alongside her husband and admired the beautiful architecture while pointing out artistic pieces that were too pretty not to talk about. She also caught herself talking about the fashion of nearby bystanders.

"Everyone here dresses so nice," Sorom was saying. "Even though I miss the twins, I'm really happy you decided to come with me. I don't know if I could've done this without you, I'm just getting used to shows back home. It's like you knew I wouldn't have accepted if you weren't here. Thank you."

Smiling, showing that she was actually to be there, and be in love with him, Sorom pushed herself up to kiss him. Her fingers laced through his and squeezed. "And...I think now is right time for us to try again," she said. "I've been thinking about it a lot since we landed, but I really think we should try for another baby. I know I said that I was happy with just the twins, but could you imagine? How good it would be for us to have another baby now that we're in love?" she said, the thought of a sibling for the twins to dote over making her heart melt. "I want to see you as a father again. Properly, this time."

date prompts // @dencesin

[julemmaes]

Not Enough

Rowaelin Month, Day Three

A/N: guess what? French is still not a priority:) This is a continuation of yesterday's prompt actually, but there's no need to read it to understand the story, I just think it'd hurt more if you did tho. So it's up to you, enjoy!

Word Count: 2,646

Aelin had been awake long before her fiancé's alarm went off.

She had been awake when the sun had begun to shine through the blinds and she had been awake when he had rolled over in bed, holding her one last time before getting up to go to the bathroom.

She had vividly felt the kiss he had left on her forehead and the whispered words of each morning.

Go back to sleep, love.

The sound of water falling in the shower and the soft humming of Rowan preparing for yet another day in the Senators. The song of the birds beginning to fly out of their flat wasn't giving her the fairy-tale awakening it did every morning. And the Ottawa traffic that increased with the ticking of the clock was no longer giving her the sense of life it had given her over the past few months.

And then a hint of hope as Rowan walked into their room and began to change, slipping on his shoes and giving her another kiss, this time on the lips.

The sound of his duffle bag being lifted off the ground, the sticks banging into each other.

The jacket being put on.

She heard the front door open and closed her eyes, a smile so slight that few would be able to see it for what was perhaps finally happening.

Aelin began to hope as she had never before in her life.

That Rowan hadn't just forgotten to take off the ring he wore on his finger, but had deliberately decided to leave the house with the silver band on his hand. To show it to the world.

She heard the soft click of the door shutting and brought her hands to her face, trying to hide the clear happiness etched on her features, trying to hold back the shriek of victory.

She pulled herself up in her seat, her head snapping to his bedside table to make sure it wasn't just a dream. That Rowan had actually gone outside, shouting to the world that he was getting married. When she didn't see anything shiny on the countertop, she fell forward onto the bed, a dazzling smile now beyond her control on her lips.

They had talked about it for a long time, arguing for days, weeks, each time deciding to leave things as they were.

Rowan Whitethorn, professional athlete, rookie for his dream team, was climbing the ranks of every chart that existed. New recruit with most goals scored in the last ten years. Player with the fastest shot ever. Most handsome man of the year.

Aelin was proud. She was so proud.

But she wasn't happy.

It had been more than two years since they got together. Two of the best years of Aelin's life, in spite of everything.

They'd spent the last year of college breaking up and getting back together, constantly, amidst the rumors from others and the insults from every person who insinuated that she was only dating him for his title, for what he would become in a few months. They'd broken up for good the summer Rowan had been called up to play for one of the top teams in the country, after she'd been pushed to the ground by an overly agitated fan outside a club during one of their friends' birthdays.

Rowan had lost his temper, lashed out, and the team had threatened to cut him off before he even got in. Aelin would have never allowed such a thing and had left him, saying there was no hope for them anyway. Either way, he would travel for six months non-stop and she would stay home, alone.

He had looked at her, his eyes wet with tears that Aelin had never seen him cry, and thanked her, for putting up with everything he had subjected her to.

When it was confirmed that Rowan had made it onto the Ottawa Senators, Aelin, who hadn't spoken to him in months, had texted him, congratulating him on achieving his dream.

He hadn't texted her back, and Aelin had known that whatever hope they had had was dead.

Surely she wouldn't have imagined Rowan turning up at her house, asking her to go with him, the day before the move. Desperate, opening his heart to her, his every thought, his every worry. But showing how far he would be willing to go if it meant spending even one more night with her.

And that was how Aelin found herself in their home, in their new city. Promised to the only man she would ever love, to the only man who would know her so well that he understood what was going on in her head even before she did.

And until now she had been a secret.

They had kept their relationship a secret.

Only their closest friends, their families had known of their comeback.

And they'd been so painfully good at keeping a low profile, despite Rowan being all over the headlines of every sports magazine. So good, in fact, that Aelin felt as if she didn't exist.

Every interview in which Rowan said he had no one, that he was single. Every picture of him and one of their friends in the magazines hinting at a possible relationship. Whether it was Lysandra, Nehemia, Manon - she didn't care, she knew he'd come home to her. But every little thing was just another splinter added to the spike that was piercing her heart.

But today, she thought, smiling, today Rowan had gone out with the ring.

The promise he had made to her, that he would be hers one day.

The promise he'd been afraid to show to anyone, and that he'd slipped off every day to keep the reporters from talking.

She was still floating on clouds, her breath short, ready to burst into tears with happiness the second her brain too had really understood what was going on. It was at that moment that she heard it.

The front door opening.

Rowan walking quickly towards their room. The heavy footsteps in the hallway.

He opened the door, giving her a half smile.

Aelin felt her heart shatter into a thousand pieces.

He greeted her with a quick kiss. Something he had once been allowed to do even in public. Something that had given her the strongest emotions he was now afraid to do.

She stopped seeing. Hearing. Feeling.

She got out of bed with slow, almost robotic movements, heading for the bathroom. She clung to the sink, her grip so tight her knuckles turned white, and looked at herself in the mirror. Her eyes that had once been cheerful, happy, looked back at her empty, dull.

And Aelin knew, even without looking, that on the bedside table lay his ring.

***

Rowan had never been so tired in his life.

Today's training had exhausted him so much that he'd almost called Aelin to come and pick him up, worried that if he got behind the wheel in this condition he'd have an accident.

Then he remembered that he couldn't.

That Aelin couldn't come and get him, because to let her leave the house, to let others know of her links to him would put her in danger.

So he'd gotten into his car and driven with the radio volume too loud, to keep him awake, and pinched himself every time he changed songs, to stay alert on the road.

He walked up the stairs to his house with hurried steps, wanting to reach Aelin as soon as possible. Telling her that he had missed her and the crap Lorcan had said during practice. Warning her that Fenrys would be coming to town in the next few days and they would have to arrange a dinner at their house.

He liked being able to talk about their friends, it gave him a sense of normalcy. Something that playing hockey didn't give him.

He would never say he was unhappy with his sporting career. He couldn't even if he wanted to. Hockey had been his final destination since the first time his father had put skates on his feet and pushed him on the ice.

And now, after winning the championship, with record-breaking results, his first year as a professional, he couldn't complain too much.

But staying away from Aelin during games. The hotel rooms, the flights, the girls throwing themselves at him at every party thinking he wasn't taken... it had been taxing. And he couldn't help but imagine that it would only get harder over the years.

The only thing that would keep him sane was the idea of coming home to her.

He opened the door, calling her name and expecting the smell of whatever she had decided to cook that night to fill his nose, but it didn't. Aelin didn't answer, all the lights were off, and he lent an ear to the hallway, hoping to hear the shower going - maybe he'd even be able to join her if he moved fast enough - but the house was shrouded in stark silence.

He closed his eyes with a sigh.

He hated coming home when she was out.

Whether she was at the gym or shopping, it was like a torture that only he had to endure.

He carried his duffel bag into the bedroom, leaving everything by the wardrobe, slipping off his shoes slowly and letting himself fall onto the mattress.

He ran a hand over his face, trying to get some of the sleep out of his body, and turned to the bedside table, ready to wear the ring she had gotten him. A promise he'd be able to keep once things were settled with his agent.

He snatched the ring from the bedside table and found himself taking a second look at it.

His breath caught in his throat.

Aelin's ring sat there, next to a slip of paper.

And Rowan knew. Even without having read what she had written, what it meant.

He snapped out of bed, opening her wardrobe violently, the dressers, finding them completely empty. He cursed aloud, running to the bathroom, opening every goddamn drawer, every shelf, finding them bare of all her possessions.

The living room, her reading nook, empty of everything that had belonged to her.

He grew short of breath and the more air he tried to gulp down, the more panic assailed him, closing his lungs.

He ran back into their bedroom, grabbing the letter and running his eyes over the words, looking for a clue, a name that would give her away and make him know where she was.

Lysandra.

He grabbed the phone from his jacket, fingers too fast on the screen as he searched for his friend's number.

She picked it up after three rings.

"Rowan! Hey, what's up?" she replied cheerfully.

He did not even waste any time in answering, "Where's Aelin?" he asked in short breath.

"Aelin?" asked Lysandra, then in a more concerned tone. "Why don't you know where she is? Something happened?"

He ran a hand through his hair, tugging at the ends until he felt pain, "She left a letter, saying she was leaving and you'd know-"

"Rowan, she didn't call me. She didn't leave me any message," she stopped him.

A choked sound escaped his control. "Fuck."

"Wait." she said suddenly. "Yeah, here, I got a message from her a couple of hours ago. She-"

She froze suddenly and Rowan knew immediately what was about to happen.

"Please." he begged her.

Lysandra remained silent.

"Rowan, I can't tell you-"

"Please, Lys. Please." his voice broke.

He heard his friend take a deep breath, "Let me talk to her. And I'll let you know," and then a pause, "but if she asks me not to tell you anything, Rowan, I won't betray her trust like that."

He knew that. And he was glad that Aelin had friends she could still trust blindly.

"In the meantime, try to rest. I'll let you know if she's okay."

The call ended, Rowan didn't even say goodbye. He stood in front of the bed, a bed he knew he wouldn't be able to sleep in tonight without her. He picked up the letter with trembling hands and headed for the kitchen.

He set it down on the table, sitting up and rubbing his hands over his eyes.

He needed something to drink if he was going to go through with this.

He poured himself half a glass of whiskey and began to read.

Hi Rowan

when you’ll read this, I’ll be on a plane over the ocean already. I don’t know where I’m going yet and I’m not gonna tell you, cause I don’t want you knowing and leaving everything behind to follow me.

Cause I know you would, baby, I know you’d let it all go for me in a second if I asked you to. But I’m not letting you. What kind of person would that make me if I did?

You worked your entire life for this. You woke up at unholy hours of the day just to train for half of your life. You had your body slammed into those plastic barriers for fun for years, cause you love the feeling you get after a good game. I know you always complain about the bruises and the pain, but we all know you like that cause it makes you feel like you did enough. You ate shit food that tastes like cardboard so you could have that amazing body and play for your dream team. Skate on the ice whenever you want.

And you did it, Rowan. You made you dream come true.

And I’m not gonna be the one person to take it from you.

I won’t ask you to give up on something this big, not for me.

I’m just a person.

Someone you love, that used to love you.

But I can’t do this anymore, because I’m losing myself. And losing this part of me will make me hate you. And I don’t want that to happen.

I don’t want to be your secret anymore. And I don’t want to have to protect myself when I go out if I’m not. I want to be able to walk next to you, holding your hand without risking being shoved aside or hurt. I don’t want you to be worried all the time, whenever I’m not with you. I don’t want people talking about us.

And I’m weak, Rowan. I’m not like you, and I’m so tired. I can’t put on a mask, an armor, and pretend like the words don’t hurt, cause they do. They slice through my heart and they taint my love for you.

This isn’t the life I wanted for us, but it’s the one fate gave us, so maybe we’re not meant to be. I hoped with everything I am that we were, that I deserved you – that one day people would stop caring about others’ lives and mind their own fucking business.

It broke us back in college and I’m not willing to have them do that again on their terms, so I’m doing it on mine.

I wish I could be your “till death do us apart”, but I can’t.

I hope you find someone who will love you as much as you deserve and I’m sorry I couldn’t be that person.

I’m sorry my love was not enough.

Please, for my own sanity, don’t ask Lysandra where I am.

I’m not coming back,

Aelin

Rowan sat there, tears streaming down his face, as he read and reread the paper in his hands, finding hard to breathe as his world collapsed on him.

And the only thing he wished, was for him to be able to hold her one last time.

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[punkscowardschampions]

Fearghal & Kaitlin

Fearghal: [So the setup is sending her a postcard pretending to be a mate visiting in England for whatever reason (could be fam you get the vibe, nothing suspect given the time this is) but giving enough info that she 1. Knows it is him 2. has the number of at least a phonebox nearby if not a phone in his care home 3. a time when he plans to first call the phonebox nearest their home in Ireland, assumedly this is some sneaky twin shit they've pulled similar enough before that she can catch on without any of the rest of the fam also doing so; only question is how long do we want it to be since he left?] Kaitlin: [3 months ish later then and they've turned 15 but only just for our ref how do we think the situation is with his dad etc like would he just be acting like he's dead cos is to him?] Fearghal: [basically my vibe was they wanted to weaponize Tabby killing herself for their gain, like make it something political even though literally not about that bar the fact her family and his family and co didn't want them together and she was a dramatic teenage girl in love (no offense but like) and so when he wouldn't go along with that there was a massive fight, actual, between him and his dad and then Fearghal left 'cos there's never any option but to do as your told with this fam and he can't lose face with all the other people etc etc and the story the dad is telling the fam etc is that Fearghal deserted them which not untrue but yeah, good enough for all the olders to disown him too so it'd be like we don't talk about him and if someone else bring him up you denounce him] Kaitlin: [let's say there's a crying baby in the background cos like in my OG post she can use her youngest sister needing fresh air as an excuse so casually left her outside the phonebox but might be able to hear her if she's going for it] Kaitlin: How ya Fearghal: K? Fuck's sake, you've not had a bastard, have ya? 's'not been that long, like Kaitlin: Catch yourself on! mind how ya ma was fit to drop, you eejit? well we're all lurred she had another girl who I'm hauling about as my cover, so I am Fearghal: [Laughs] Still easy to windup then [slight pause to take in that it's a girl and is here, like not the biggest shock but also literally no way of knowing at this time so] And go on, don't leave me in suspense, what name they burden the poor fucker with Kaitlin: [makes an unimpressed noise like fuck off] full of that good craic you are, bet the brits are buzzing to hear it. You ready? Niamh Roisin, it's a cracker, like [sighs] Fearghal: [laughs some more] Yeah, catch me on that most wanted list, obviously [makes a wincing noise like no] Christ, actually lost it fully then, has she? Made it longer than some but dunno if mentals get to heaven, haveta ask Father Quigley, like Kaitlin: [laughs herself] yeah yeah [makes like a idk noise] can you lose what you've never had? A good catholic'll find a way, to be sure, and she is that, our ma [makes a scornful noise at the mention of the priest as is standard for her] Fearghal: [makes a mm noise to agree] Suppose so, don't reckon much was said 'bout being good to 'em once you had 'em, so be alright [sighs] What have you been up to, then...How's it been Kaitlin: if it was she'd recite between the lines to keep us anyone's problem but hers, poor critter [sarcastic laugh because mum's getting no real sympathy] it could've been 3 days from when you went off for what's changed and not- [a long pause because everything's shit and we know it is] Fearghal: What's God if not top babysitter, eh? Cheaper than telly and who's giving money to the BBC [scoffs but cuts it short 'cos yep] And I'm fine too, you rude cow Kaitlin: and stand him next to our earthly da and he comes out lookin' class [chefs kiss noise] Hey now! [makes a fake noise of shock like she's appalled at the mention of the bbc] watch your profanity around me, dicko! [really long exaggerated sigh as a pisstake] a'course you are, land well anywhere, but hit me with your bars, it's no bother to hear how right I am Fearghal: If you can get him stand still long enough, like and you ain't a lad so no chance, babe [does pisstake wistful sigh] Forgot you needed protecting from the evils of this world, my apologies [coughs awkwardly then, stalling for time, fiddling with the phone in ways she can probably hear] Taking a bow as we speak, can't fit in here with me but the adoring fans are aplenty over this way, well more than there so fuck it, life's grand so it is Kaitlin: Wise up, boy, he only sways slightly of an evening on these ones lately so he does [but her voice is MAD because fuck being a girl in this fam] Did you now? Thank fuck my new lad has his uses then, like [takes a deep breath to try and calm down but exaggerates it for the pisstake because have to, god forbid they are serious rn] I went and saw your former biggest fan under that rock they've carved with protestant shite, no word on if life's grander for her now it's ended or if she's regretting she didn't send her prayers up saying she wanted another bite of the cherry, one that wasn't yours- [stops like I've probably gone a bit far here and shouldn't mention his dead ex anymore] Fearghal: Good for him [through gritted teeth like let's never talk about him thank you] Like you need a replacement protector, got how many ready and willing at home, just DYING to beat the shit out of some 15 year old kid for your honour and just for the craic of it [does it back, like and then is silent until the pips are going but he's still there 'cos they stop when he puts more money in] You'll be under some rock with Catholic shite if they catch you in their graveyard [says it much more quietly than he's said the rest] Kaitlin: [makes a noise of disgust that doesn't need to be exaggerated for the pisstake cos genuinely horrified at this fam thanks] what honour? Shame you brought down on us with what they caught you at [but her voice is softer too because didn't mean to go off and also doesn't mean any of that we know] supposed to scare me, is it? [said like I wouldn't be here to give them a chance to do it just like you weren't] Fearghal: Why you need to ask one of the others, ain't it; can't be the best looking of the bunch and the best behaved, got to leave something for 'em to do and impressing n pleasing him 's'never been high on my to-do so have at it, lads [does meh noise like this is all so casual] Called the fear of God for a reason, aye Kaitlin: [does the meh noise back and it's her turn to awkwardly fiddle with the phone/cough while she works up to saying what she does next, more quietly than she has anything else] how's it truly then? Away and everything. Free and clear Fearghal: It's, like- just shit because you realize that everything that happens in that fucking town, all the stuff that rules our lives and is all they give a shit about, no other cunt does, you know, Kait? Sure, its on the news when another bomb goes off or don't and that; but the English don't even have to think about it, their day to day ain't affected at all, no fucker but our lot cares and what's the point, honestly? Everything we were forced to at least think was important, if not fecking stupid, ain't and now I don't- [Stops to do some actual breathing to calm down] Not to mention I'm thick as shite, thanks for that and all- 'cos frees a bloody joke [laughs bitterly] I get by, now, got a place to stay so, don't haveta worry but don't be hopping the next ferry yourself, girl Kaitlin: [when you're just silent for ages because as much as you think it's bullshit you're basically in a cult rn with no chance of getting out so what can you say like] not that thick, warning me off coming to keep an eye on all these english girls with theirs on ya but no bother 'cause mind I get sea sick and class as boking on brits sounds I'd get fairly covered myself before I made any casualties of 'em Fearghal: Know enough about girls and enough about you to know the two don't need mixing, that's just school of life, that [moving away a bit and telling someone who's impatiently waiting to fuck off] Stay put [when you say it firmly like serious voice] That wain and the rest needs someone VAGUELY sane about to stand any chance, fuck me, Aislinn's already been corrupted and she's barely in double digits [kicks the box] Kaitlin: [laughs because yeah don't let her around any girls you like babe] you should know enough about me to know what giving me your orders'll do fer ya and what it'll make me do [but there's no actual real threat in it we all know she's staying for the bubs] Sane as you by that count, ain't I? [can't help genuinely sighing] Mammy's girl is Aislinn been like it since she was old enough to play house [grimaces at the thought cos never that bitch] got the rest under MY apron strings, grand they are and it goes for the stories I tell 'em every night after prayers, rest easy yourself knowing that, yeah? Fearghal: Alright, alright [hear the 🙄😏] But if you wanna be the next to bring shame on 'em, you can do better than a cheeky abortion, surely? [shakes his head] Yeah. [Pause] Yeah [Coughs again] I'm doing my bit, swear, it's gonna take a while 'til I can send you anything and I've got to work out how when I do- it ain't for them, just you lot but like I said, not cheap Kaitlin: [an outraged noise like who do you think you're talking to, of course I can do better than that etc] Yeah. [Pauses herself because again what to say, there's so much it's too much] I've got faith in the right shite, Gally [nickname ftw because feels] it'll work out. We'll work it out, like we did this Fearghal: 'Course we will, K. No other choice, is there [definitely not a question] Kaitlin: not a real question, is it? [she knows its not] Fearghal: you want me to ask you one? Kaitlin: do English girls fall for that? Fearghal: Enough of 'em, yeah Kaitlin: [makes a ugh noise] how you've got a bed, is it? Fearghal: Theirs top where mine is Kaitlin: I deeply feel that Fearghal: [makes the kinda sad 'ha' sound like 'I know'] Not all bad though, some class drugs about and you don't get kneecapped for taking a casual interest Kaitlin: [does a little hooray down the phone] Fearghal: Send you some but your phones probably tapped so I definitely won't Kaitlin: thanks or no thanks, depending who'll be listening Fearghal: Cover those bases and the baby's ears Kaitlin: nothing to be heard over her crying Fearghal: don't lie, you miss me that much [laughs] Kaitlin: fuck off [but laughs too] Fearghal: Will do Fearghal: so many English girls Kaitlin: [exaggerated being sick noise] nowhere close to a ferry and sick as a dog, don't start me any further Fearghal: You think I escaped to pray every day and fight the good fight, like Kaitlin: if you still pray you ain't escaped fuck all Fearghal: Not living on my knees for no cunt, sis Fearghal: am being haunted, for my sins, though Kaitlin: Be on track to commit more, you'll have enough ghosts for all manner of shite to get done Fearghal: No rest for the wicked on the one hand, but on the other, idle hands and idle minds [breathes out like so conflicted and confused] Kaitlin: [a change in tone because serious] She's gone, so are you. Leave it here. Leave it in this fucking town Fearghal: Not a choice Kaitlin: Can be Fearghal: Nah, s'not, boths already happened Kaitlin: Happened to you, gives you a say in how you deal with it Fearghal: Yeah Kaitlin: You've lived in one haunted house as things stand, ain't you? Miss home that much, is it? Fearghal: How could I not? Live for these lectures, like Kaitlin: [an unamused noise because you're basically calling her a nagging girl which ain't a mood] Fearghal: [the pips again] Oh shit, should robably let you go, yeah? Kaitlin: Yeah probably [but she obvs doesn't wanna that'd be clear] Fearghal: Tell the kids I miss 'em, won't ya Kaitlin: I'll even include her out there Fearghal: Try and send a picture some time, alright Kaitlin: 'Course Fearghal: You too, kid Kaitlin: [laughs but in a more genuine way] You're my twin brother, calling me kid is calling yourself a wain, you eejit Fearghal: That's alright by me, like Kaitlin: I'll not baby you, got enough noses and arses to wipe here while you're hand holding these brits Fearghal: No handholding, on me life, just good old-fashioned- [will cut him off before he can be gross] Kaitlin: [we can say she cuts him off with a very unamused noise as per like no thank you] Fearghal: G'wan then, piss off before that kid freezes to death Kaitlin: [doesn't wanna be the first one to hang up obvs] Watch yourself then Fearghal: You too Fearghal: When can we do this again then Kaitlin: When can you? It's no bother for me to slip out with this ginger whinger, needs fresh air so she does Fearghal: [laughs then is pondering like umm] Try next Sunday, after church, if I don't answer then I'll send another postcard or whatever, yeah Kaitlin: Tryin' to get a free sermon told to ya, respect that hustle if not the message Fearghal: Obviously, how am I getting to heaven from England? Kaitlin: [laughs] no angels in England is there not? You'll have been thinking on your feet for fresh pick up lines all these months, no wonder you ain't had time for me, like Fearghal: Something like that... [Trails off 'cos don't wanna tell her what's really been going on but also does 'cos not its like that and its been a lot to just deal with on his own] Kaitlin: But it's something else like what? [cos sees through you boyyy] Fearghal: It's alright now, like Fearghal: but it ain't as if the old man sent me on me way with anywhere to go, is it Kaitlin: He didn't put a bullet in your head as a send off, that's what gets me to sleep of a night, but- [trails off because she was gonna say she knows it hasn't been easy but she doesn't know how hard it's been and she's not trying to guess like let's compare struggles] Kaitlin: Yeah [another pause] Fearghal: Should've put one in his [so under his breath it's like did you mean that to be heard or] Kaitlin: You'd have to take ma out an' all, I don't reckon the broken heart myth is anything other than another story, and probably a few of us would make the cut for cute little orphans but you and me'd have to catch ourselves on quick and wise up Fearghal: Make Tara look after you all as well as Diarmaid's kids, see how committed to the family she really is [sniffs 'cos we been knew] Kaitlin: [makes an identical sound cos twinning] I'll take her out if she was bothered to try and get near 'em Fearghal: Least Owie is old enough to help out, young enough to give a clout, yeah? [genuine concern] Kaitlin: [scoffs because we know he's a bit of a knob but it's still affectionate because] Fearghal: He'll be alright [but doesn't sound as reassuring as that's meant to be 'cos like unlikely at this point] Kaitlin: He's got me, my will's stronger than god's so father Q likes to say [laughs] under his breath, a'course Fearghal: [laughs back but its less 'cos sad] He doesn't always chat shite Kaitlin: Reckon he's a soft spot for me Fearghal: [makes noise like 'hopefully not too soft' but is joking, doesn't need to be that kind of priest] Kaitlin: I don't wish you were here Fearghal: How could he not, with the charm [but just jk like] Is it better, in some ways Kaitlin: It's...[trails off cos we all know even if there's less hassle it's not better as far as she's concerned and the loneliness is a real mood] I'm buzzing you got out [genuine but her voice is sad] Fearghal: Your turn next, I mean it Kaitlin: After we get a few birthday's under Niamh's belt [pauses because it's sinking in how stuck she is for now] and the rest, give 'em a fighting chance Fearghal: Yeah Fearghal: I'll make it easier, any which way I can Kaitlin: Me too, for you, I mean Fearghal: I'm grand, honest but cheers [more pips] I am outta shrapnel though so- Kaitlin: Don't be putting honest on a lie [frustrated sigh because nobody wants this to end but she wouldn't have money] speak Sunday and like I said, watch yourself Fearghal: Love ya, K ['cos no time to take the piss for it or protest] Kaitlin: [let's say she gets cut off before she can say it back for the pain]