#i just think hes so Oldest Sister coded. to me.

[3cosmicfrogs]

https://www.tumblr.com/3cosmicfrogs/734988131799072768

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yesssss trans mingjue truthers Rise! RISE !!!!

[sincerelyneo]

juno | l.hc

“one of me is cute, but two though…?”

💿now playing: juno by sabrina carpenter

❯ summary: Kids were never really something you thought about. But then you saw your sexy as fuck boyfriend playing uncle and now you can't stop thinking about giving him a baby of his own. What can you say...your hormones are high.

❯ pairings: haechan x fem!reader

❯ genre: smut, established relationship

❯ words: 2.7k

❯ tags: 18+ minors dni!, unprotected sex (don't do this!), swearing, breeding and pregnancy kink, possessiveness, dirty talk, begging, praise, creampie, slight angst not really idk, fluff, reader uses she/her pronouns, literally just the reader getting baby fever from seeing hyuck with kids (very real el oh el.)

an: i know this is like my third haechan post in a week, but i literally don’t care. sue me x

You didn’t want kids. Well, that’s not true. You were indifferent to kids. 

That was until you saw your boyfriend with them. You didn’t think you could be more attracted to him, but then he had to go and check off the "great with kids" box. Maybe it’s just his playful side, but Lee Donghyuck is just so good with them.

And being forced to attend his niece’s first birthday party made you realise it. Honestly, you’d never given much thought to the idea of kids—cute yes, ready to give up endless nights of sleep, no. 

But the minute after you walked through his childhood family home and were done greeting his parents and siblings, a swarm of kids ran at him, hugging his legs and stomach. And he just melted into them, so gentle and excited. It was cute and made you smile. 

From then it was him letting his oldest niece cover his tanned cheeks in blush and stickers, to tossing a ball with his nephew after he announced he made the basketball team—and don’t even get started on him poking the chubby cheeks of his youngest niece, her soft giggles filling the backyard of the party. 

It was like he was in his element—soft, loving, and completely at ease. And even though his nieces and nephews had other uncles and aunts, they’d always say Uncle Hyuck was their favourite—even if they weren’t supposed to.

You watch him from the patio door in the kitchen, overhearing him tell his dad he’s “too young to be having the adult conversations,” which was really code for ‘let me play with the kids.’ 

Running around, telling jokes, creating games. It had your stomach turning and—were your heart strings being pulled? Seeing this absolute perfect man, so caring and playful, living just to make those little ones laugh and smile, had you seriously considering the sleepless nights that might come with having some of your own.

Wait. 

“He’s good with them, huh?”

You jolt, turning to see Hyuck’s sister standing behind you.

“Uh... yeah, I guess so,” you shrug. She steps beside you, and the two of you stand there, watching your boyfriend bounce his niece in his arms, soothing her gently.

She giggles, and you glance over at Hyuck’s sister again. “What?”

“Nothing,” she shrugs. “Just... you’re looking at him like you’re ready to add to the Lee family name.”

You gasp. “I am not!”

She gives you a knowing look, and you bite your lip, eyes shifting back to Hyuck. This time, he’s handing his niece a sippy cup, tapping her nose. Your chest tightens.

“Okay... I suppose he is good with them.”

Hyuck’s sister nods, humming in agreement. “He always has been. With every younger sibling, every cousin—even when I had my first daughter, Hyuck was the most excited.”

He’s sitting on the grass now, all his nieces and nephews swarming him, tickling him. He’s being extra dramatic, letting the younger ones tug at his hair just to make them laugh. You stare, warmth and wholesomeness filling you.

“He’d make a great dad, Y/N.”

The statement is completely sobering.

“Uh,” you stammer, running a hand through your hair. “I don’t know. We haven’t really talked about it.”

That’s not entirely true. You had spoken about it—once. You’d told him it wasn’t something you had planned for but weren’t necessarily opposed to, and the conversation had never come up again.

Hyuck’s sister blinks at you, clearly confused. “That’s crazy. Hyuck’s always said he wants to be a dad.”

Clearly. 

There’s no denying that. It’s so obvious—every second he’s cupping up the kids, tickling them, teasing them. He looks so profoundly happy, so perfect. And it suddenly clicks for you.

This could be yours. Forever. He wants it. And now... you’re starting to think you want it, too. Him, this, forever. His kids. Your kids.

“Y/N! Y/N!” one of the younger kids calls, waving you over from across the backyard. “Can you play with us? We need more people to play the monsters. Uncle Hyuckie can’t do it on his own.”

And just like that, you’re being pulled away from the baby fever conversation and coaxed into joining them—not that it took much convincing. Your thoughts were starting to scare you a little. You’d never seriously thought about kids—until now.

Because you’d never seen Hyuck look more attractive than when he was playing dad.

“I can’t believe she’s one already,” Hyuck beams from where he’s stretched out on your bed. He’s been talking about the party nonstop since you got home. “Did you see the little bows in her hair? So fucking cute.”

You glance at him through the vanity mirror where you’re sitting, watching the way his face lights up, animated and so full of joy. There’s a warmth in your eyes, your lips curved into a soft smile as you take him in. He notices, raising an eyebrow.

“What’s that look for?” 

You stand and walk over to him, leaning down to press a gentle kiss to his lips. His eyebrows knit together, more confused now.

“Y/N, what’s going on?”

You smile, sidestepping his question with one of your own. “Did you have fun today?”

“Yess…?” he replies, but there’s a trace of suspicion in his voice.

“Your family’s really nice.”

“Oh, are they now?” He squints playfully. “I saw you talking to my sister. I hope she wasn’t embarrassing me—she loves doing that.”

You shake your head with a giggle. “She wasn’t.”

“Okay…” he draws out. “Then what was she saying?” 

“That you’d be a good dad. That you want to be a dad.” 

Hyuck’s eyes widen and you mentally add this moment to the short list of times your boyfriend has been rendered completely speechless—still countable on one hand.

He coughs, his cheeks turning pink. “S-She said that?”

You nod, biting your lip to keep from laughing.

“And…what did you say back?”

You spread his legs out on the bed so you can slide between them, sitting there and looking up at him as he waits, eager for your response. He’s so cute like this—adorable, even—clearly dying to hear what you thought.

“I didn’t respond,” you admit honestly.

You catch the flicker of hurt in his eyes, but he covers it with a laugh—though it’s not genuine. You can tell he’s trying to brush it off, trying to pretend that he’d be okay with the possibility that you might not want that kind of future with him.

“She shouldn’t have said that,” he mumbles, embarrassed. “I used to talk about it a lot as a kid. I don’t really think like that now. I can’t, you know… because of my job.”

“So you don’t want kids because of your job?” You ask. The tone in your voice takes him by surprise because now you’re the one sounding hurt. 

“Baby... is this a trick question?” He laughs nervously.

You shake your head, crossing your arms across your chest. “No Hyuck. But I want you to answer it truthfully.” 

He shrugs, looking unsure. “I don’t know. I haven’t really thought about it.”

“You’re lying.”

He lets out a frustrated sigh, running a hand through his hair. “Baby, I don’t know what you want me to say—”

“The truth,” you insist. 

He pauses, his gaze softening. “I love you, Y/N. You said kids weren’t really part of your plan, and that’s okay,” he begins, his voice steady but sincere. “And yeah, maybe I always kind of thought kids would be in mine, but then I met you. And you became my plan.”

You grab a hold of his hand and squeeze. It draws a genuine smile from him before he speaks again. 

“I know we’ve never talked about it since. But I’m fine with anything—as long as it’s with you.”

You smile, his comment pulling at your heartstrings because you feel the exact same way. 

“Those kids absolutely adore you, Hyuck,” you say and he gives a half smile. 

“Well, I am their favourite Uncle.” 

You trail a soft finger up and down the naked skin of his arm. His eyes follow your touch and that furrowed expression is on his face again. 

“Y/N what’s going on with you? You’re confusing me—”

“You know—” you cut him off. “I think you’d be a great dad.” 

He stares at you, properly taking you in. He’s never seen this side of you before, and you’ve never given him a compliment quite like that before. The thought of you being into the idea of him as a dad… well, he didn’t expect it to turn him on this much. Maybe it’s the way your fingers brush his arm? Yeah no, it’s not.

“Today made me realise something,” you say, shifting to straddle his hips, your arms wrapping around his neck now. He raises a curious brow, waiting. “You look so hot with kids. The thought of you being a dad is so fucking hot, Hyuck.”

Hyuck smiles at the confession, and his hands move to grip your ass as he ground your hips forward on himself. You let out a small gasp of surprise as you feel him. 

“Please don’t joke like that, Y/N,” he whines, eyes squeezing shut. “Because I’ve been thinking about you being the mother of my kids since the day I met you.”

You giggle, biting your lip to stifle the soft moans escaping you as he grinds you slowly against his growing bulge.

“Well, why don’t you do something about it then,” you tease breathlessly, feeling the hardness of him through his sweatpants.

Hyuck’s mouth parts, caught somewhere between awe and shock, but before he can question how serious you are, your lips capture his, and your tongue is slipping inside his mouth to deepen the kiss.

The groan you both share is synchronised, and it’s all the encouragement he needs to flip you over, hovering above you with a renewed sense of urgency to make promise of your teasing. 

His fingers hook into your panties, sliding them off as you shift upward against your pillows, tossing your nightgown aside. Hyuck strips out of his own clothes, desperate to press his bare skin against yours, his need overwhelming any sense of patience.

He kisses you back roughly, passionately. Fuelled by your impossible hotness and readiness to be fucked—fucked by him. Your tongue dips deeper and deeper into his mouth, never satisfied, craving more of him. You cling to him, your hands and legs moving over his skin, desperate to feel every inch. Your hips roll up, slickness coating his shaft, causing a rippling gasp to leave his mouth. 

Hyuck pulls back with dark eyes. You—his girl—naked and desperate under him, begging him to do something about his baby fever—your baby fever. It’s the hottest shit he’s ever seen. His new favourite thing. His obsession. He loves seeing you like this, he decides—so willing, so desperate for him, for his cock. Needing him to bring you the pleasure only he can give. And he’ll make sure you remember that once you're carrying his child.

The image floods his mind—your stomach growing, swelling with his baby, the glow in your smile as you hold his child. A family, all with him. Only him. Because you want his kids.

The last thought pushes him over the edge, and with a low growl, he bites down on your neck, lips and teeth claiming your skin. He wants you marked by him—like always—but this time it’s different. It’s possessive. Primal. Feral. His saliva wet on your neck, dark bruises blooming over your breasts, his fingers burning prints into your hips, and his seed buried deep inside your soaking wet cunt.

His cock jumps when you roll your hips again, your whimpers causing him to groan and eyes roll back. You sound so desperate. Desperate to make him your forever. 

“Hyuck—” you sob as his teeth graze your nipple, sending it hardening under his touch. “Please, I need to feel you.”

His eyes sparkle with lust as he drapes your legs over his waist and leans down, capturing your mouth in a long, needy kiss. He aligns himself with your slick pussy, your fingers clawing at his back as he slowly eases into you. He fills you completely, lifting your hips to bury himself deeper.

“So fucking pretty like this,” he mumbles, pulling away to admire the way you take his thick cock. “Taking me so well, always so good for me, aren’t you, baby?”

You moan as his cock hits every spot inside you—so deep, so hard, so good. Each thrust drags along your walls in a way that feels divine.

“Can’t wait until you’re mine, so full of me,” he whispers, kissing your neck. You whimper, your walls clenching at his words, urging him to quicken his pace. “Do you want that, baby? Want my cum inside this pretty pussy?”

“Yes—fuck yes—please.”

“Say it for me,” he requests softly, a gentle yet desperate edge in his voice. “Please tell me.”

“I want to be yours; make me yours,” you breathe out.

Hyuck's gaze drops to your lips, entranced by the words spilling from them. He thrusts harder, your nails digging into his skin as you pull him closer. Your cunt swallows his cock whole, turning his thrusts sloppy, and he groans.

You’re practically sobbing with how fast he’s driving into you, so close to seeing stars.

“You’re so good at taking me,” he praises, his breath ragged. “Gonna make me fill you.”

You squeeze around him, and the thought of cumming inside you sends a shiver through his thighs, making his breathing stutter.

“Yes! Fuck, please keep going,” You pant. 

“Want you so full of me that it’s dripping down your leg. And then I’ll push it back in when I fuck you again.”

Your breaths grow louder and quicker, matching his as you both teeter on the edge. He kisses you deeply, your mouths suffocating each other as you grip his soft brown hair. His fingers dig into your hips, holding you tight.

“Hyuck—I’m gonna cum.”

“So fucking good, baby,” he moans in awe. “I’m going to fill you with my cum. I want you overflowing with my seed—fuck!” He grunts hoarsely, his body tightening with tension.

Your walls shatter around him, tightening and fluttering on his cock as you cum. Hyuck holds you close, so intimately, holding himself deep inside you as he feels the first spurts of his cum shooting from his cock. 

He doesn’t stop, his hips still moving gently, making sure you take everything, softening each thrust with tender kisses along your bare shoulders. You sigh dreamily, fingers threading through his hair, and he smiles, still half-hard inside you. You’re exhausted, and the sight of your sleepy expression makes his heart twist. Leaning down, he presses a soft kiss to your lips, and for a moment, you stay like that—so close, so intimate.

But as the post-orgasm bliss begins to fade, a flicker of panic flashes in his eyes.

“Fuck—” he mutters, pulling himself off of you quickly. There’s a gnawing feeling in his chest, a sudden guilt. “Y/N, I’m really sorry, I got caught up in the moment. Do you want me to run to the store—”

“No.” You shake your head and grab his arm, keeping him close. “I don’t want you to. If that’s okay…”

His eyes darken with lust before a slow smile spreads across his face.

“Y-yeah… that’s more than okay with me,” he says, nodding eagerly.

“Who knows?” You shrug with a teasing grin. “I might not even get pregnant this time.”

His eyebrows shoot up. “This time?”

You nod confidently. “Yeah, this time. Because we’re going to keep doing this until I am pregnant, Hyuck.”

His grin widens as he climbs back into bed, pulling you into his arms.

“I never thought I’d hear you say that, especially not when I woke up this morning,” he laughs, pressing soft kisses along your neck.

You giggle, leaning into his touch. “What can I say? Seeing you in dad mode made me so fucking horny.”

[claymoresword]

I Choose Her | Epilogue

Hermione Granger x Slytherin Fem!Reader

Summary: You are the daughter of two known death eaters from one of the oldest and richest families in the wizarding world. Are you truly prepared to give up everything you know for Hermione Granger?

Pairing: Hermione x Reader

Wordcount: 2.4k

Warnings: time jump, smut, porn very little plot, draco & y/n , kid fic coded, y/n & hermione endgame obv

Note: Hi, so this is an epilogue in theory but i think what it ended up being is just an open ended conclusion. Which doesn't sound promising, but it also just means that there will more for me to expand on (for side chapters) so it's exciting! The main series is now concluded but i am nowhere near done with writing Hermione x Y/n within this particular universe that I've cultivated. Long story short: more to come!

Eitherway, hope you enjoy this one ;)

Taglist: @gvrsto @aweidlich @xxsekhmet @arielj @poppyflower-22 @scarleigh1989 @smut-religiously777 @cocoyeehaw @blackbirdv98 @arcturusseer @iamcapitalgbicorn8287 @lonewalker17 @karasonromanoff @httphayn @bigbadsofty07 @cherryflavoredcoke @dumpsapphic @idontwannabehereatm @js-a-writer @baylegend6 @puta1 @t-wylia @raven-ss @unexpected-character @brocoliisscared @aki-ham @theheartwants-what-itwants

Hermione turns towards the commotion in the living room, standing from her seat abruptly with her voice raised.

“Hugo! Give Scorpius a turn or I will shut that entire thing off, this is my final warning.” She asserts as the children bickered amongst themselves– fighting over the Playstation controller.

“Yes mother..” Your son mumbles, begrudgingly passing the controller over to his friend.

You lift the rim of the mug you are clutching up to your lips, masking your amusement at the display– your son has never taken to the idea of sharing; even with his own sister.

As anticipated, your attempt proves fruitless when you are caught on the receiving end of Hermione's narrowed gaze.

“Don't you dare laugh, he takes after you.” Hermione remarks as she pokes at your stomach, and your expression instinctively contorts in mock offense.

You soon turn to Draco and his wife, who remain sat across from you.

“Do you hear the way she speaks to me?” You retaliate in jest, earning a light slap to the arm from Hermione.

Astoria does grace you with a laugh, whether forced or not, you accept it as a small triumph.

Draco remains impartial, quickly redirecting the conversation.

“I've never understood those things” He gestures to the game console, and then the television it is attached to.

“I mean, when Y/n and I were their age we actually spent time outside.” Draco adds and you can't contain a scoff.

“Right, and you tormented me.” You contend, not allowing your best friend the chance to rewrite history simply to impress his wife.

“Did not.” Draco denies regardless.

You feel Hermione���s hand glide across your shoulders, causing them to relax involuntarily. Soon her fingers are delicately toying with your ear. A habit she had picked up over the years– one constantly reassuring, in an odd way.

“You were a nightmare.” You insist, leaning back in your chair, and Draco possesses enough cheek to appear affronted.

“I was a delight.” He claims defensively. This time it is Hermione who scoffs, and you allow yourself a smirk of satisfaction.

It is now two against one.

Astoria chuckles once more, hiding a smile behind her hand as she glances between you and your wife.

“Darling, I do find that hard to believe.. you seem to forget that we went to the same school, and Hogwarts was never immune to gossip.” She coos, turning to her husband, and Draco redirects his attention to her.

“Oh, now you're ganging up on me too?” He accuses, and you watch as Astoria smooths her hand across Draco's chest, up to the collar of his shirt. Without saying much else, she kisses him, and that quickly puts an end to the debate at hand.

You clear your throat, shifting in your seat as the couple escalated in their displays of affection.

You turn to Hermione, and she gives you a similar look in return, eventually nuzzling her face into the crook of your neck, an effort to escape the discomfort.

“I would say it's time for dessert but it appears they've already started.” Your quip, a whisper only for Hermione's ears.

Your wife stifles her laughter against your shoulder, glacing at the couple again, who remain in a full lip lock, oblivious to the world around them.

“Do you think they'd notice if you and I just got up and left right now?” Hermione asks, and you grin. Feeling inspired and overcome with the want to feel her mouth against your own.

“Probably not,” You respond, now leaning in to kiss her. Lightly at first, but as your hand slips around her waist, Hermione’s mouth opens wider, inviting your tongue.

You pull an involuntary moan out of her, causing your own smile to form mid kiss. Hermione breathes in sharply at the realization, before feebly shoving you away with her palm against your chest.

She is flushed, her chest heaving. Even after all the years of marriage; you'll never tire from watching this gorgeous woman blush.

Hermione averts her gaze, as if overwhelmed by your stare, and your smile only widens.

“I'll go fetch the cake.” Your wife says suddenly, her hand falls from your shoulder as she rises from her seat.

You can only watch as she disappeared into the kitchen.

Your own heart, pounding.

Seventeen years since you first met, and yet your pull towards Hermione remained formidable; your bond, unbreakable.

Seventeen years.

Your smile remains as you go to take another large swig from your mug. Draco and his wife have since stopped kissing, now instead whispering in secrecy to each other.

You roll your eyes, beginning to forget the point of inviting them today.

“Boys, dessert!” You bark, easily capturing Scorpious and Hugo's attention.

Now your son and his friend race towards the dinner table, disovering something new to squabble about.

Soon, Hermione emerges from the kitchen, a large lemon cake in one hand a stack of plates in another.

You then turn around in your seat to address your daughter. She had been a few paces away, sitting quietly by the window. Her nose in her book, as she often is. “Darling, do you want any cake?”

“Yes, please.” Rose replies simply, without looking up.

Your daughter; truly every bit like her mother. In both temperament, and appearance. Blessed with Hermione's rich curly hair and her gentle eyes. She's assertive as much as she is kind.

Your heart soars everytime you look at her, yet you are also overcome with the urge to weep all the same, for reasons unbeknownst to you.

Perhaps it was the cost of unconditional love, the price every parent had to pay. An impending burden that you could only do so much to ignore.

The fact is your daughter will not remain pristine and unspoiled forever. Life frowns upon innocence, it is bound to be stripped away from her; a violent and inescapable fate.

Change is a torturous and ugly thing, it is a challenge everyone must endure, no matter what you try to tell yourself.

“What's wrong?” Hermione's concern pulls you out your thoughts, you feel her hand grasping your arm.

You force yourself to smile, shaking your head dismissively. Now aware of Draco and Astoria's quizzical eyes on you.

“Nothing, I was just thinking.” You assure, resuming your position next to her at the table.

═══════════════════════════════════════════

You let out a breath of relief as Hugo finally slips into a slumber in your arms. You gently lift him to lay your son on his bed properly, subsequently draping the covers over him.

Shutting the book in your hand, you set it down on his nightstand, wary not to make too much noise.

“Goodnight, sweet boy.” You utter quietly, threading your fingers through his hair before placing a tender kiss upon his forehead.

Your son remains asleep as you exit his bedroom and gently shut the door behind you.

You roll your shoulders as you start down the stairs, stifling a groan at the ache.

However, any feelings of discomfort dissipate once you catch sight of Hermione, standing by the sink, still busy with the dishes.

“Do you need my help?” You offer as you step through the kitchen, rolling up your sleeves in preparation.

Hermione throws you a quick glance before replying. “No, thank you, I'm almost done.” Your wife says as she rinses the final traces of soap off a plate before propping it onto the drying rack.

Your stare soon turns incredulous as you approach your wife.

“I don't understand– you'd get the dishes done twice as quickly if you used your wand.. you won't even have to stand by the sink to do that.”

You remark, now standing close enough to Hermione that you can smell the familiar and welcomed scent of her hair.

“I prefer to wash them the normal way, I suppose I'm just used to it.” She explains and you let out a huff.

You needed no more proof that your wife is indeed, muggle-born.

“So odd.” You tease in return, Hermione lets out a breathless chuckle as you wrap your arms around her torso.

Your breasts pressing up against her back as you embrace her tightly from behind.

You observed as Hermione washed all traces of dish soap off her hands before turning off the faucet.

“Is Hugo asleep?” Your wife asks, and you nod. You hear the subtle way her breath catches in her throat as you kiss her neck.

“He did put up a brave fight, but he's out.” You quip.

*

Hermione’s chuckle morphs into a proper gasp as you slipped your hand underneath her shirt, cupping her breast, her nipple quickly growing hard from your touch.

Your wife merely leans further into you, allowing you better access to her neck.

“I don't think I got the chance to tell you how gorgeous you looked today.. I liked the dress.” You admit, nipping lightly at the column of her throat.

Hermione lets out a satisfied hum, pressing her rear harder against your groin, as she reaches back, her hand finds the nape of your neck. “I had a feeling you'd enjoy it.”

“Well, I did. You always look beautiful.” You state, expertly kneading her other breast, drawing a breathless moan from your wife; one that drives you half-mad with need.

“Fuck, you're perfect.” You praise her again, lips still brushing against her neck.

You swiftly shift your hand lower, unlacing her pajama bottoms, she lets you do so, quietly, for a moment.

“Even now? Even after how much my body has changed from bearing our children?” Hermione asks.

Ever since the birth of your son, insecurity has polluted her– and you find it entirely unwarranted.

Hermione is flawless, she deserves to feel beautiful and you aim to remind her of it everyday.

“Especially now.” You persist, finally slipping your hand inside her underwear.

Hermione lets out a louder moan as you boldly palm her heat, feeling how wet she is already.

She whimpers as your finger prods at her entrance. Your wife grips a fistful of your hair, her other hand firmly on the edge of the sink to steady herself.

“The children–” Hermione pants, her voice strained with arousal. Her words of concern do not match the way she is grinding against your hand ever so slightly.

“–are sound asleep in their beds.” You assure, finally entering with another finger.

Hermione’s hips buck against your touch as you are now knuckle deep inside of her. Broken gasps of pleasure is all she can manage as you begin pumping, slowly, in and out.

Your wife lets loose an unrestrained moan as you curl your fingers. You watch as she bites her bottom lip in an attempt to conceal her sounds of pleasure.

You can't help but groan at the sight.

It is near agony– no one should ever be this enticing.

Time is unrelenting to some, and cruel to most. Yet it has been generous to her; your wife has truly only gotten more desirable with age.

“You're so intoxicating..” You allow your own desires to speak.

Then, you place a lingering peck on her cheek, simultaneously pulling another loud moan from Hermione before she guides you in for a kiss, one on the mouth, desperate and hungry.

You consume her gasps and whimpers as you continue pumping in and out of her at a steady, yet urgent, pace.

Eventually, your thumb finds her clit, you begin rubbing in a circular motion in tandem, and soon, Hermione can no longer kiss you properly.

She is reduced to mewls and pants. She removes her fingers from your hair, letting her arm fall to her side before harshly gripping the hem of your shirt.

In truth, your wife could just as well shred the fabric to pieces and you simply wouldn't care.

Hermione's fingers graze your abdomen, and it is only then you notice that it was her clumsy attempt to undress you, but her plans are soon destabilized as a wave of pleasure wrecks her body anew.

You are now forced to place a hand over her mouth as your wife begins to tremble. She is close. You could feel it in the way her cunt was clenching around your fingers, almost painfully so.

“Come.. come for me, beautiful.” You urge, your breath against her ear; that is all it took for Hermione to surrender herself to her climax.

As she moans against your hand, you find yourself taking in the way her chest heaved violently, her fingers digging into the counter till her knuckles turned a pale white– utterly vulnerable, and breathtaking, and she is all yours.

“My god, y/n–” Hermione curses once she has gained enough of her strength back.

Even so, your wife continues to rest some of her weight against you, and you are happy to provide her the support.

Hermione mewls into your kiss as you pull your fingers out of her. She watches through hooded eyes as you pull away so you could take your digits into your mouth, tasting her release.

Your wife turns around fully, resting her back against the counter as she continues to observe you. Her arousal, searing and visceral.

Desire shrouds the both of you, impairing all sense and judgment. It doesn't take long at all before Hermione is on you once more. As soon as you remove your fingers from your mouth, she replaces it with her tongue.

Hermione swallows your noises of pleasure as she finds the hem of your shirt once again, this time successfully pulling it over your head before discarding it, heedless and uncaring.

Her hands quickly find your breasts as she trails wet, languid kisses along your jaw and eventually your neck.

You are aroused beyond belief, and you can hardly think– you want to slip your fingers inside of your wife once more, you need to feel her, taste her. and you need it now.

As your mouths make contact once more, you prop your hand firmly underneath Hermione's thigh, lifting her in one swift motion, setting her on top of the kitchen counter.

Hermione lets you remove her shirt in record time, you fling it out of your grasp in a similarly incautious manner, not heeding where it lands before your mouth makes contact with her nipple.

You licked and sucked at it eagerly, with primal and unchecked want. A string of trembling moans from your wife urge you on, she gasps as you shift your attention to her other breast before just barely mustering enough to speak.

“No– wait, not here.” Hermione gasps, pulling your head back, her chest now wet and glistening from your saliva.

Before you can respond with something coherent, your wife kisses you again, open-mouthed and deep, but it ends far sooner than you'd like. Happily, her next words easily make up for it.

“Take me to bed.”

[riewritten]

in my head nothing absolutely bad happens in monster anime and they’re actually triplets in a family sitcom somewhere

more headcanons under the cut ✂️

-ˋˏ✄┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈

༘⋆ FOR CONTEXT

no child experiments. no kinderheim 511. their birth sequence would be Johan first, Anna second, and Nina the youngest. it doesn't actually materialize that much in their dynamics (given they're triplets) except that these two oldest are oooooover overprotective of nina. mama vera was forced to labor the three of them prematurely out of stress upon receiving the news of her husband's death. her brother-in-law, klaus poppe, who had helped vera with the kids after the hubby's death, tried to pursue her not long after. and not only that, klaus also tried to lure anna into this silly lil experiment about children which he claimed was for 'work' at the red rose mansion all the while their mother was out. vera almost killed the man when baby johan exposed him while crying. this event led vera to cut ties with the poppe family and valiantly raised her triplets on her own. vera wasn't able to squeeze any info out of anna (on what poppe had done to her specifically while she was out). worried that she might be traumatized, vera got her into therapy. in the end, only johan and anna knew of it, and whatever happened sure left wounds deep inside anna's heart.

SO, that said!

-ˋˏ┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈ ANNA

would be sooooo villanelle-coded (minus the psychopathy of course). like she is the Gaslight, Gatekeep, Girlboss but at the same time she could also be the Female Rage™️. i am absolutely whipped at the thought that she'd have a complicated relationship with johan despite being inseparable during childhood because she's astute enough to know the real him, without filter whatsoever, and she could notice things the naive nina couldn't. no, johan didn't have to be a murderer in this universe for anna to hate him, he just got The Attitude that anna despises. it's jus the typical sibling fight though no worries. it's like there's this modern family-esque interview segments of them talking shit about each other every episode (little do they know, if a war ever breaks, they would absolutely sacrifice themselves to save each other — of course after ensuring their youngest sister's safety first and foremost).

in @suusoh 's head which i claim to be the same as mine because susu is rie and rie is susu, anna is as queer as she could be. and, in my silly lil daydreams, she actually labeled herself queer for clout bc she wanna rebel against societal standards only for it to end up the truest thing she had ever said about herself years later. on top of that, she actually envies her twin brother for having a dick like oh my god girl what the hell is wrong with you. ironically, she tends to be an absolute man-hater sometimes (depends on her mood). she could be a little impulsive, too, especially when she reached the rebellious age. boyfriends here, girlfriends there, and out of curiosity she even tried polygamy that's absolutely not her thing but she did anyway to annoy her conservative christian stepfather.

there's this only moment anna had accepted johan's attitude, remorsefully so, and thats when some girl tried to maul nina at uni (thank god she's good at judo) after mistaking her as anna ㅜㅜ this stranger apparently had her boyfriend stolen by anna during one of her impulsive moments (jesus christ). nina assured them it was all good after anna cried. but johan was absolutely pissed, and anna had a hard time forgiving herself for putting her loveliest babiest angel of a sister in danger bc of her shenanigans.

-ˋˏ┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈ JOHAN

who is he, indeed, if red rose mansion wasn't that traumatic and kinderheim 511 never existed ? it's also hard to imagine for me, tbh, it's just that i think he'd be a chill lil guy who lives in his own head. nina has a hard time managing countless of confessions from different people in the campus—you see, anna is too wild to approach, johan is too absent-minded to care, and nina is the most amicable of them three. when nina opens her locker she'd expect a bunch of love letters addressed to three people: anna, johan, and then herself. majority of them is addressed to johan, tho.

if anna takes pride in her beauty and charisma while nina takes pride in her congeniality and physical prowess, johan keeps up with his brains. he is constantly the school's top one. he gets sent to other campuses for academic competitions. and back in highschool, a faculty even offered vera to have him accelerated due to his intelligence. johan denied the opportunity because he likes the fact that he's on the same grade level as his twin sisters. they have this sort of bonding where they do homeworks together as soon as they reach home. how would he do that if he's accelerated to a higher grade level? who would help nina manage anna's wild tendencies at school? who would help anna keep up with her acads if nina's too busy with her extracurricular activities?

vera is quite concerned johan is having a hard time connecting with people, but little does she know, her lil boy just doesn't want to. socializing is a chore the same way studying is. unless he has an ulterior motive, he chooses to stay at the corner with his books (boo. bummer. a nerd.)

-ˋˏ┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈ NINA

is their cute lil baby! she's everyone's favorite. i think her personality in canon monster (before her 20th bday) is pretty much the same in this one, except that it's more chaotic in her house because she has two sibs trying to kill each other here and there. if not for her extracurricular activities and side jobs (which johan and anna tirelessly demanded her to quit so she could have a rest, only to no avail because nina is the angel who wants to help), i think her academic excellence would be in par with johan's. she also has a lot of friends—that's the reason why johan and anna are protective of her. she could indeed defend herself physically, but she's too kind and naive for her own good it annoys the two. if someone makes her cry, they doubt nina would even put them in their place physically or emotionally because she is just that kind—that's when johan and anna enters behind her back. they could be sneaky little vengeful devils if need be for nina. maybe they got it from uncle klaus.

-ˋˏ┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈ ☆ ༘⋆

cutting this before it gets longer lol. thank u for reading! i hope you enjoyed this as much as i did lmao. i had sooo much fan imagining and drawing them this way 🤭

[nightviator]

So I was watching s1 e7 of the umberlla academy again (my fav ep ever, and I've watched it so many times and will never stop yapping abt it) when I noticed something.

Here. If you look closely, you can assume Five was sitting in the front seat and Allison was in the back seat.

And this is like a really normal thing, no hidden meaning and stuff, but im not normal about tua. About anything related to it.

When i noticed this i really really could just see Five telling that he is the oldest one and should sit there (or not saying it and just going in it), Diego getting kinda angry and Allison saying nah. It's fine. Nevermind.

And well look. Why is this important to me?! Let me explain!

I've read many (and by that I mean a LOT) fanfics about Five getting hurt or any kind of his angst and Diego being there for him. I really love these 2 together.

So when I see Diego just getting angry of Five (ALSO LATER HE WAS NOT AS EMOTIONAL AS I COULD REMEMBER IN FIVE BEING HURT SCENE AND THIS REALLY WAS A BIG SHOCK) and Allison telling to let it go.. idk. I may be crazy but I felt a bit guilty for never thinking about her as a really good sister to him. Because she, a famous actor who definitely cares about herself and her place, just let her brother be happy without more fights. And Five was bleeding and in pain at that time so I'm sure this lack of tension made him at least a bit happier, yk. And this is a so "older sister" coded thing so maybe she felt it.

Also she was so worried about him here (the same episode), which I may talk more about it later cause I have a lot to say.

But here when watching this for 1939392929th time, it was like Allison was already feeling like a big sister, and when he was injured her protective motherly feeling wakened up even more. She really was trying to help five (in a way I've seen in fanfics. Actually less than that, but better than nothing.)

Now, because of that, I feel guilty for not liking Alison that much. I am going to give her more love from now.

[theresthespark]

Okay Lestat is canonically a Scorpio and Louis a Libra which are both painfully accurate. I wanted to play Estelle and share my astrology headcanons

Claudia:

Leo rising – the hair, the general slayage, her association with yellow aka the sun

Aries sun – she’s so bold plus libra and Aries are sister signs so they share traits that present different which feels right for Louis and her’s kinship

Taurus moon – not prone enough to over emotionality to be a water sign but not overly practical in the way the other earth signs are. Very stubborn and does canonically enjoy beauty and luxury. Also if you know a Taurus I feel like it just makes sense

Madeleine:

Virgo Rising – She just gives demure when we first meet her and yet no bullshit either. Virgos just seems very put together almost unassuming which is funny since every Virgo I know is crazy lol

Aquarius sun – the decisions she’s made in her life feel the best suited for an Aquarian. Also her talking to Armand? That woman stopped giving a fuck about what everyone else is doing years ago

Cancer moon – Almost did Scorpio here but her loyalty and intensity didn’t feel suited there. Cancer still has some of Scorpio’s snap but its homey and soft too. I also can’t see Claudia gravitating towards someone similar to Lestat at all lol

(Bonus: suspected Aries Venus. The intensity of her!! Her directness when she cares! How she chases life and joy!)

Armand:

Pisces Rising – those big ole eyes are a big marker for this one. Also Pisces have big baby energy despite being the oldest sign which feels perfect for him

Gemini Sun – Please what else could he be? There’s the 27 different faces but more so, the love for technology and knowledge, the urge to always strategize. The near inability to ground into his emotions. The perpetual anxiety. Also Geminis are so funny without even trying but that’s just me

Capricorn Moon – Caps are ruled by Saturn which is in short a struggle bus placement. Fits well with the forever 27 thing (stuck in perpetual Saturn return) and his tendency to self flagellate. Also it being represent by the devil card in tarot. Iykyk

Daniel:

Capricorn rising – When you first meet him he comes off quite no bullshit in a way that only makes sense for Capricorn to me. Also fits for the workaholic tendencies (our risings tend to be a truest to self energy aka us at our best). Also feel that may be what draws Armand to him hehehe

Sagittarius sun – If you look up famous Sags all of them are silly goobers (and lowkey problematic 💀). Like him being a Sag makes SO much sense to me for San Francisco. Only a Sag would make that many dumb decisions just bc it was a vibe lmaoo

Aries moon – Thinking about Eric’s comment about Daniel not taking kindly to bullies. Also how similar him and Claudia feel to me I feel they’d share some major signage too

(Bonus: Gemini Mercury bc his got the gift of the gab, the quick wit)

Louis: (i couldn’t resist finishing their big three)

Libra rising – Ruled by Venus, Helen of Troy, Malena coded. What else could he be really?

Libra sun – Painfully canon

Scorpio moon – With how he talks about himself and his life versus how he moves through the world it makes perfect sense to me. So much emotion but also a lot of passion all bottled unless in the right company. Also he would loooove SZA (plus plus you’re more likely to become heavily attached to people who’s sun is your moon)

Lestat:

Aquarius rising – Leo’s sister sign (perfect for him and Claudia’s dynamic). She’s a rebel she does her own thing she does not give a flying fuck about the rest of yall. Only an Aquarius could be responsible for the events in Queen of the Damned

Scorpio sun – Again debilitatingly canon

Leo moon – Do I even need to explain it? Pull any TVL passage if you want an explanation lmaooo

I hope you enjoyed my analyzes I love astrology and would kill to get a proper birth chart for these characters. The house placements! The Aspects! The CHIRONS!! I need to chill

[anxiously-obnoxious-poet17]

Seeing as tomorrow’s Christmas eve and the concept of time is setting in and making me depressed

CHRISTMAS DPS HEAD CANONS !!!! (To compensate for the lack of updates to the fic)

The poets are out of welton for Christmas break, celebrating with family and presents

Charlie: has a huge family one of those rich white ones, SOO many cousins but is the oldest out of most of them, talks shit with that one aunt, if he had older cousins he would be the one to sneak them alcohol he’s chill like that, lives and breathes for presents, they always suck tho cause his parents don’t pay him much mind, is usually buzzed by the end of the night, gets into an argument with a male family member cause he’s not “masculine enough”, further solidifying the Charlie dalton gender fluid head canon in my brain, also BIIG gag gifter he will put your present in a box and then wrap it a trillion times just for that 5 second serotonin he’s an ass but I adore him.

Knox: definitely all younger siblings kind of guy, either all girls or all boys, is a mamas boy, helps out In the kitchen, sucks at gift giving, he tries his best but it’s either money,clothes, or a card, tries to hand make things but fails miserably (bless him), entertains the younger kids, the older family members are wildly impressed by how well mannered he is he really is just a kind sweetie, gets pestered about girls and just lies about Chris even tho him and Charlie have been going steady for a MINUTE, gets asked about Neil and Charlie (his closest friends since always) and everyone raves about how Neil is the star student at welton and then the conversation switches to Charlie and everyone’s like “….oh him”, Charlie holds a grudge against the overstreet family for this very reason.

Pitts: he’s very older brother of all sisters coded like Knox, why do I feel like his parents are divorced (I’m not projecting I swear) gives the sweetest hand made gifts, like photographs or clay figures he’s very gifted in crafts, keeps to himself a lot during family gatherings, but clicks with one or two of his cousins, has one of those aunts that pinches cheeks and sneaks you a 20 with a sneaky little wink, gets teased by his family for his height, “when’s that Steven boy coming to Christmas I always liked him” says nana in the corner, his family seems pretty chill like exact opposite of the dalton/Perry family, his parents ALWAYS get a present for meeks, pittsie does eat his weight in Christmas food.

Meeks: middle kid bless his heart, not a huge family thing, also a bit of a mamas boy, grandparents love him, subpar gift giver, like pitts is a “this reminded me of you” kind of guy, gets so many jumpers and socks that he has a new wardrobe, gets ONE book or item he’s interested in that piques his little smart interest, “thanks I love it😐” meeks reaction to every gift, calls pitts and talks about what they got for HOURS, meeks literally fantasizes about spending Christmas at the pitts household, doesn’t help in the kitchen rather sets the table etc, thinks his family is so upsettingly boring, has 3 cousins MAX, talks about pittsie an enormous amount.

Cameron: huge family you ever seen gingers? THEY MULTIPLY (I have ginger family members I can say this), eats his weight in Christmas dinner, like Knox he’s an alright gift giver, forgets what people want the second they tell him, goes the socks/card/money route, only child but SO MANY COUSINS, gets teased by family for whatever reason my dude cannot catch a break, is asked a lot about school and subtly flexes how much he’s learned, YEARNS FOR FAMILY APPROVAL, his family forgets he’s there a lot of the night, bonds with the one cousin that’s close to his age, calls one of the poets at the end of the night just to talk to someone. (Why are these so sad CAMERON IM SORRY)

Neil: HATES THE HOLIDAYS (rightfully so), actually he love’s Christmas but hates his family, all the uncles and grandpas love him, calling him “such a ladies man or a bright young boy”, and the aunts adore him saying the same things, unlike Cameron he’s FORCED into talking about his studies and achievements which he hates but his father makes him (mr perry is gonna make me crash out), many older cousins few younger cousins, BEST GIFT GIVER EVER, so thoughtful remembers everything everyone wants, loves giving gifts and feels so happy when he can tell they love it, tries to talk about Todd and Charlie but gets shot down or ignored, has to put on a completely different personality and by the end of the night is EXHAUSTED, calls Todd that night and talks forever, complains a lot about his family but who wouldn’t, tells the other poets it was a great time, gives everyone gifts when he’s back at welton, is surprised when Todd or Charlie got him one in return.

Todd: younger sibling poor guy, is constantly overshadowed by Jeffrey, every time someone asks how Todd’s been he can’t speak quick enough so his brother just buts in, keeps to himself for a lot of the night, has some younger cousins he chats with, hand made gifts, overthinks every gift he’s ever gave, changes his mind about gifts constantly, he’s actually such a sweet and thoughtful gift giver once he actually GIVES the gifts, helps in the kitchen a bit but not full on apron and oven mitts like Knox, his grandma is his favorite member of his family, “oh just what I wanted🙂” he says as he gets a gift he in fact did not want, watched Jeffrey open so many presents from family, he assumes he doesn’t get many cause his family doesn’t know him as well as they know Jeffrey, but a lot of the family just forgets about him, nearly falls asleep listening to Neil rant about his awful Christmas, eats leftovers in his room, gets Neil a well thought out meaningful present, I would say he half assed the other poets but no poor thing put so much thought into a sweater.

together the boys all recount the gifts they got, comparing them (Charlie and Cameron) and raving about the food, Knox brought homemade cookies or pie for the guys, they all exchange gifts in the cave while Christmas music plays over Meeks and pitts radio, this time Knox and Cameron are content with the timing of the music (thanksgiving post callback hehe) Charlie spills every piece of drama and awful thing that happened, Neil keeps a lot to himself only telling Todd gritty details, Charlie much like thanksgiving brings various alcohol along with eggnog, which Todd, pitts, and Cameron spit out cause ew, and Neil absolutely loves the gift Todd got him and shows it off whenever he can (depending on what it is), they all hate there families but are more than joyous to come back to welton and be with their chosen one, they all have hot chocolate and coldly walk back to the school where they have the best holiday induced sleep EVER

well everyone since that took me AN HOUR… MERRY CHRISTMAS EVE OR HAPPY HOLIDAYS I improvised a lot of this so if any of it is funky FORGIVE ME I love these idiots and I am so excited to pretend to be Todd Anderson tomorrow when I avoid a lot of my family :)))

[lovelyhan]

kai pls “you sound pretty hot when you shut up.” + cheol im begging

also ily <3 hope ur doing well and taking care of urself <333

SAR BELOVED! sorry it took me a while to get to this </3 but hehe here's some cheol filth to start ur day right 😼😼😼

⟣ "you sound pretty hot when you shut up" ⟢ wc: 0.8k words minors do not interact!

One would think that the two presidents of the oldest fraternity and sorority on campus would get along swimmingly. Not only are the two organizations officially affiliated with one another, but most of the time, their members are either really good friends or dating slash fucking each other on the side.

So yes, it was perfectly logical to assume that you and Choi Seungcheol would fall into either of those categories.

Except you don't.

"Didn't I tell you to stop loitering around our property?"

"Your sorority is literally a sister organization to our frat. This is technically our property too, so what's your deal, ice princess?"

"My deal is that I can't fucking study when you're bringing all these stupid frat boys into our hangout! Don't you all have somewhere else to be?"

"Now why are you even studying at your goddamn hangout spot? You're supposed to hang out here, genius."

As Seungcheol bickers with you, the infamous Zeta Tau Alpha president, the 'stupid frat boys' he brought over to your sorority hangout spot all sigh in unison.

"There they go again," Mingyu comments with a laugh. "If I didn't know better, I'd think this is all for show and they're secretly screwing each other."

"That's, like, fanfiction levels of ridiculousness, dude," Seokmin comments. "They don't hate each other in a 'we-secretly-fuck-like-rabbits' kind of way. They just...hate each other. Period."

Soonyoung hums on the side while sipping on a box of juice. "Hmm... But don't you think they're being a little too theatric with their arguments lately? Remember when she splashed water all over Cheol at the cafeteria yesterday?"

"I don't know about that, Soonie," comments one of your sisters, Sana, who shakes her head. "Our lovely president over there is a sweetheart, but when you've done something to piss her off, she'll remember it until she dies."

Mingyu perks up with curiosity. "So you're saying that Cheol did something unforgivable? Is that why she hates him so much?"

Sana can only offer them a nonchalant shrug.

"No clue."

Unbeknownst to your members, Seungcheol has done something unforgivable to you in the past.

"I can't fucking believe you're still hung up on the first time we fucked," Seungcheol rasps as his fingers dig into your thighs. "It was just a one-night stand at the time. Why are you so pissed off?"

Though you want nothing more than to glare at him, the sensation of his thick cock ramming into you does unfairly well in derailing your train of thought. Still, your perpetual irritation with him breaks through the surface.

"How many times do I have to tell you that that was my first time!" You bite back, stifling a moan when Seungcheol presses your face against the cold metal of the lockers. "You can't just take a girl's virginity and leave her all alone in the morning! Doesn't your frat have a code of chivalry or something?"

Seungcheol lets out an irritated noise before lifting up one of your thighs—hooking it across his elbow so he gets to fuck into you deeper. The angle has the leg still planted on the floor quivering with pleasure but your pride won't allow yourself to fall apart so easily.

"Ice princess doesn't like it when her favorite boy toy can't be tied down? I came back to you anyways, didn't I? Again and again—ruining this pretty pussy for anyone else."

When you feel his breath against the shell of your ear, your walls clamp around his pulsating cock almost embarrassingly tight.

"And I'll keep fucking you until that ice cold heart of yours finally melts."

You don't offer up any more complaints—completely and utterly submissive as Seungcheol rails you against the lockers none-too-discreetly. He's rougher than usual, and it wouldn't surprise you if any of his teammates finally found out about this dirty little secret you've been keeping under wraps.

You're fucking addicted to him. His cock squelches with a lewd sound each time he fucks into you, orchestrating a perfectly timed orgasm that has your eyes rolling to the back of your head.

Not a single noise comes out of your mouth once it crests—mouth agape in a quiet scream as you topple over the edge. Your hips absentmindedly meet the cadence of Seungcheol's practiced strokes as you ride out your high, and he only stops when his cock paints your insides with the white hot mess of his cum.

"You sound pretty hot when you shut up."

He dishes out the backhanded compliment when you're fixing the collar of your shirt—mind thankfully far enough from that sexual subspace to rightfully scoff at him.

"Don't let it get to your head," you say, already halfway to the doors of the locker room. "I just didn't want anyone else finding out that we're fucking inside a public space."

Seungcheol chuckles. "Now don't act like you're not down to do it again twice as loud the next time I ask you to."

You don't entertain him with a response. Instead, you let the heavy doors slam behind you in an illusion of autonomy. Of course you wouldn't agree to fuck that insufferable frat president in another risky place.

Even if his cum staining your panties says otherwise.

[perfectfangirl]

notes after rewatching fallout s1 ep7

• the beginning of this episode shows two characters dressed in gear that's very ncr [new california republic] and to me, it's a very fallout: new vegas scene and fallout: new vegas thing • a father and son of lead farmers. depicted as honest, humble folk. oh cooper's here sitting at their table in their house eating their dinner 💀 • the man, adam, calls for his daughter, sandra. cooper continues to eat the delicious, nutritious meal. adam has a horrified expression on his face • sandra, a young girl, walks over and gives cooper something to drink. she... appears unafraid of cooper. she appears to treat him as one would a guest. cooper says "thank you, darling"--- i almost forgot about this but this was the nicest thing he has said post war to anybody in this show

• lmao the wasteland thinks so little of ghouls, this guy thought this man had cooked and eaten his daughter 😭 • "oh, wait... you thought...? come on now." cooper responds as he laughs at the thought, the wasteland and ghoul perception is that bad omg help • adam tells sandra to go outside. tbh i am starting to believe the theory cooper is much more nicer to women and girls than he is males but i digress anyways • cooper seemed to genuinely laugh and say a nice thing for once to someone here, the lucy juice must be working • "lead farming, huh? why, hell, i probably still got some of your lead in me somewhere." i cannot understand what cooper is talking about here. i was trying to figure if they knew each other like that but i wasn't connecting enough and feel like i am missing information again. • cooper and adam may seem to know one another but cooper came to ask adam about moldaver • "i'll tell you anything, as long as you leave us in peace." sigh

• adam looks like he has a scar on his face, wonder where he got it from • cooper inquires about how many kids adam has. adam reveals the oldest ran off to be a part of moldaver's movement and calls moldaver "that madwoman in the hills" • cooper asks adam if his oldest is named roofus. adam mentions he never said his oldest's name and cooper deduces the young male beside adam is tommy • tommy looks afraid and looks like he gulps as adam asks him "what did you do?" • cooper saying "well, you see, daddyo…" has got to be like the fifth time he says "daddy" in this show 😭💀, like what is his obsession with referring to people's fathers this way [time to hurt? probably because he's been searching two hundred years for the person who use to call him that so that word is always on his mind anyway 😞]

• cooper unfolds the letter and is it revealed to have a blood stained hole in it, adam's older son roofus got adam's youngest son tommy mixed in with moldaver's dealings, roofus was the one who sent tommy caps to pay a courier to transport siggi safely to moldaver • "but my problem is, by the time i got this letter off your brother, it was a little bit hard to read." cooper says holding up the bloody letter hole as he uses an eye to peer through it--- cooper you scary mf 😭 • "now, you give me the location, and i'll be on my way." cooper states. tommy tells his father sorry. tommy is so young. adam begins to plead with tommy to tell cooper the location. tommy replies "i didn't want to spend my life digging through dirt. i want to build something and we have the chance…" before tommy can say anymore, adam implores tommy "tell him what he wants to know! he's gonna kill us all! including your sister." [don't think i believe that last part but] • my question is… i wonder why the letter wasn't written in code… • "she's at the observatory" tommy says in the calmest sounding voice. moldaver's location is revealed just like that • how did cooper know that tommy would want to come after him? has he seen this movie before? • i suppose revenge is an obvious motivator for tommy on cooper for killing roofus but it not also being something adam or even sandra would pursue is interesting as well [they're not mixed in with moldaver and she's a young child he has to care for] • adam saying he won't ☹️ • before tommy can grab the rifle, cooper shoots him. cooper slowly gets up, reholsters his gun, gathers his things, puts on his hat, and departs without another word • weirdly not convinced tommy is dead, it looks like a shot to the shoulder. he just doesn't seem like it but i digress • adam is left crying with his sons' choices, being left only with sandra

• cooper continues his journey in the desert, his expression is a little enigmatic to me but. he inhales a chem under the baking sun • found it so curious cooper had the thought to take his hat off when entering someone's house? this was the first time. it got knocked off at sorrel's outpost and stayed on for all other indoor scenes. parallel this with him pre war going to moldaver's meeting at hollywood forever cemetery with a hot on and taking it off by the time the meeting starts [such a gentleman! 💀] • as cooper treks across the wasteland, moldaver speaking in the meeting in pre war is overlaid. almost as if he was remembering it • "what's it about california that we all came to this place?" i don't know but that place fucking rocks • cooper goes into moldaver's meeting with preconceived notions to begin with, he's already squirming in his seat when she begins her speech • "when you think of the promise of the american dream, you think of california. but it is just that, a dream. it's not real. we were told the atom bomb meant the end of war. that didn't work out, did it? we were told america's always getting better. it's always moving toward a better future. but the future is getting closer, and we can see it. their "better future" is a cliff's edge. and it's coming up fast, isn't it?" moldaver talked for a few minutes and told not a single lie. not a single one. • moldaver's quote in particular "their "better future" is a cliff's edge" is one of the most realest meta statements in the show, it's too good--- • "these soldiers that we're fighting abroad, their families, we have more in common with them than we do with the people here in power, the real enemy" is the final straw for cooper. he decides it's time for him to leave. but not before quipping "that's about all the horseshit i can take." • moldaver pauses her insightful and real ass speech to ask cooper what he said. so he repeats himself. moldaver hits him with a "i didn't realize america's favourite gunslinger was so sensitive". this draws a laugh or two from the attendants. it's poking fun at that manufactured hollywood persona of him being this manly man i guess. what i do take notice is that yes, cooper is sensitive. we know that. he is both sensitive about his principles and sensitive about the principles of others and the critique of such [i.e. the next conversation after this meeting ending up being about him figuring about him spying on his wife because moldaver asks him to interrogate his morality and barb's] • cooper then says "i have my principles, miss williams, that's all." isn't it crazy that cooper use to be someone that even when he disagreed with someone fundamentally, he was still respectful and decent? he had a whole argument with barb and she raised her voice more. compare when cooper got mad at lucy when his vials got crushed in the bait scene. he yelled then pulled his gun on her. lucy literally had to explain how absurd he was being in doing that because her not wanting to be bait and her using his bag to defend herself was not unreasonable. the gap is almost astonishing. that's the same guy. use to be. • [moldaver use to go by the last name williams, i see]

• cooper keeps responding but attempting to leave while he does but again moldaver pokes and prods. "uh huh. and those principles of yours, how much did vault tec pay to take them off your hands?" oh he's getting flamed now • lmao they show the meeting attendants playing tennis watching cooper and moldaver go back and forth • "well, this is america. everyone has a sponsor and, uh, i'm not ashamed to earn a living." "vault tec is the largest company in america. there's a lot of money in selling the end of the world." "well, i'm sure there's a lot of money in selling a political ideology that ends in breadlines." "fascist" is this not my college sociology class, good god--- • subtitles coming in clutch again! because the camera pans so i can't see who says it but i full well assume it was moldaver who called cooper a fascist, didn't even hear it the first watch • no wonder charlie intervened. it got a little heated forreal. didn't even know they made a near direct wwii? reference like that idk • charlie is so embarrassed, he says "this was a mistake. we'll be leaving" 😢

• if not for the "fascist" statement, i would've thought this was another tuesday afternoon for moldaver. but she thanks charlie for bringing cooper. then drops the plot twist that she knows barb like that • i do not! know! why they made cooper smile in this scene, but thank you director • cooper and moldaver take a walk and we discover that barb's division at vault tec acquired moldaver's research company. and before all this, they were developing technology that was hard to monetize. the cold fusion. the infinite energy. the reason for the entirety of season one after the bombs drop. still. • "that's what i was on the verge of achieving when vault tec swept in and bought up every company i'd ever worked for" [spooky af, fellas!] "every one of them? so what are you, a millionaire communist?" cooper sarcastically replies with. • moldaver then says "hypocrisy is like violence in your movies. if you only let the bad guys use it, the bad guys win." cooper then goes on "yeah? i, uh i got a little showbiz secret for you. a good bad guy doesn't see themselves as the bad guy." this show is sick because this could go for cooper, barb, bud, hank, lucy, maximus, the brotherhood of steel, vault tec, china, i could keep going, help

• moldaver says something else i find unsettling "america has been locked in a resource war for over a decade. vault tec bought the means to end that war, the same war you fought in. so they could put it on the shelf. all because it didn't fit into their business model." the revelation is nutty • moldaver basically asks for cooper's help in getting the resource back [by spying on barb] • actually super crazy how easy it was to get cooper to spy on barb but at the same time... he's been questioning and doubting. we all already know she keeps stuff from him. plus the "no dogs allowed in the vaults" was the tipping point • the way cooper looked at the listening device and his bewildered? smile slowly fades from his face once he realizes the implications • him responding with "good luck with the revolution" was funny gldldl • moldaver reveals the real reason people are being called communists "i'm not a communist, mr. howard. that's just a dirty word they use to describe people who aren't insane." • this whole scene still got me wanting answers for so much. i still want to know how moldaver made it to the wasteland and how is it that destiny placed cooper to help her get her resource back pre war but now in the post war wasteland, cooper is bounty hunting her. wouldn't be surprised if there's more moldaver flashbacks in future seasons

• lucy is unknowingly fucking up the rotation in vault 4. overseer benjamin [in a move that maybe should've happened to begin with 😭] shows lucy the tape of vault 4's experiment • "we let you into our home. tended to your wounds, gave you food and water." birdie informs lucy. second viewing makes me feel so bad for all that havoc they caused these already traumatized and victimized people like • "but you had to go to level 12" please somebody write them a review and change how y'all handle this for newcomers 😭 • lucy thinks the residents of vault 4 are taking people and experimenting on them. but she is wrong. she got it all wrong • overseer benjamin and birdie had to kinda retraumatize themselves and be vulnerable for lucy to get it • as the tape plays, lucy asks "what is this?" "your history" birdie says--- oof • lucy getting another disillusionment dose this time as a video of vault tec's fucked up experiments

• lmao the tape is so fucked up but funny--- doctor lloyd and doctor cassandra hawthorne are clinically insane scientists with no moral compass and a villain complex. ironically they starred in the vault tec vault ads with cooper, their vault being the one where they run a sort of scientocratic technocracy in the wake of nuclear warfare. their experiment did not succeed. or... maybe it did but not because of them but because of vault 4's victims and shady sands survivors • doctor lloyd begins the tape with "ok. overseer hawthorne. final log entry. at this point, it would be irrational of me not to acknowledge that these may be my last words" he looks scared but also frantic, like something is coming after them [and it so is] "but despite our results here, i want to reiterate that a society governed by scientists..." he is interrupted by doctor cassandra trying to barricade the door. she calls him "honey" hehehe "really is the ideal social structure.." it is not. 💀

• doctor lloyd, what he's saying, is like farce. how is this, a society governed by scientists an ideal social structure? when they are being revolted by the very people they experimented on • "what happened here should not be used as a case study for what happens when scientists are given unregulated control." lmao we know it is though • some of doctor lloyd's final statements being vault tec corporate managerial evil "and hybridizing humans with radioactive resistant species still has potential. our test subjects were less compliant than we expected" they could've used an ethics oversight committee but anyways 💀 overseen benjamin's great uncle peter ate doctor lloyd and doctor cassandra tf up • almost wonder if great uncle peter was the same gulper that swallowed siggi's head lol

• overseer benjamin is saddened by rewatching the footage as lucy expresses confusion between the tape and the scene she saw herself on level 12. "i don't understand, in the lab, i saw your doctors..." lucy trails before birdie finishes "trying to ease the pain of the poor souls your people lured into this place." now the operative word in this statement is "your". does birdie know what vault lucy is from and what it means and what they've done there? or as a shady sands surviving wastelander is she talking about people born in the vaults who got there because of vault tec? • birdies goes on "his ancestors were used as lab rats. by the original residents of vault 4. until the lab rats rebelled." • lucy feeling really stupid and bad apologizes immediately. lucy tells them her vault is simply not like this. overseer benjamin asks lucy what their vault experiment was. lucy states there is no experiment. again i say, vault 31, 32, 33 experiment is a success--- overseer benjamin and birdie exchange glances. every vault has an experiment.

• "your ignorance cannot excuse your cruelty. you have infected our home with violence." is such a banger coming from birdie, it's so therapized • birdie tells lucy she'll pay the price for all this, guards come and seize lucy, put a black bag over her head, and take her away. as lucy is hauled off from storage, she pleads with her captors "please, please, i'm a good person" look how slippery this slope has gotten • lucy wants to do the right thing. and yet. has found herself being the offender in this situation. • maximus is in the lap of post apocalyptic luxury as he sees lucy being lead down the hallway in front of his unit. he wordlessly vows to do something about it 🥲 [ok knight in shining armour] • the way maximus is eating the popcorn in this scene lgdgldlf

• meanwhile! a secondary character is in possession of siggi's head 😭 • dogmeat is pulling on the squire equipment thaddeus is dragging because siggi's head is in it 😞 • thaddeus has been hobbling across the wasteland with dogmeat and this squire pack, he stops to sit inside the trunk of a rusted car. the full extent of thaddeus' injuries are shown as he carefully exposes his mangled as shit foot • "oh shit. i'm gonna fucking die" thaddeus says realizing his foot looks so goddamn bad lmao 😭 • dogmeat being a dog starts licking thaddeus' eviscerated ass foot, to his disdain • thaddeus starts? berating? dogmeat? 😭 "you know what? if you were a person, you wouldn't have any friends, you realize that?" not a bully talking like thisss • thaddeus pulling out siggi's head "this stupid fucking thing. oh, you want this too, huh?" everybody wants this. guess what? it's mine." and not for long • "you think everything's for you. it's pretty selfish, actually, you know that? bite what you want to bite, go where you want to go. it's always something." why is thaddeus talking to this dog like this, like how lucy was talking to that mr. handy 😭

• i do not like that thaddeus stuffed dogmeat in the nuka cola dispenser leaving her to die--- this show had somebody eating another person's uncooked flesh but this move upset me because dogmeat ain't got opposable thumbs 😭 • sure thaddeus made sure dogmeat could breathe but he was annoyed with her, he so wasn't coming back 😭 like that's a baby • thaddeus' plan is to contact the brotherhood of steel about the head and gain glory from it • you know what's wild about thaddeus putting dogmeat in the nuka cola dispenser is that dogmeat could have easily attacked thaddeus and killed him before all this. so it's really so much she got stuffed in that thing, she was whimpering and everything, please--- • it's so curious that in this scene, it looks like it's both snowing and raining

• lmao so lucy thinks she's about to get executed for her crimes against vault 4 • also can you blame her? they're all chanting in a room with her restrained in the center across from a mf scimitar 😭 • while the audience is chanting eating popcorn, lucy is pulling at and gnawing at her rope restraints lgdgldfl • birdie begins during this time "we are all survivors here. lucky enough to have found this sanctum of peace. of tolerance. it doesn't matter where you come from or what you believe. you deserve safety. unless... you threaten that peace." looking back, birdie told not a single lie and again • overseen benjamin picks up the huge scimitar, raising it "for causing harm to a fellow survivor, you are hereby sentenced to death... by banishment." lucy flinches but then realises as overseer benjamin slams the apparently dull scimitar on lucy's restraints. this was all ritualistic and ceremonial gdldlldg • noticed the doctor lucy burned earlier is also shown in the crowd cheering, he has a patch on his face, he seems ok 💀 • lucy expressed surprise at them letting her go, them not exactly realizing where she's been and maybe assuming she's only just been mostly in her vault. "you'll be killed almost immediately on the surface by lord knows what." lmaooo "that's why we're giving you two weeks of supplies to take with you" 😭 • lucy is being banished and given supplies, it's so crazy like • [overseer benjamin thanks the vault dweller for handing him the supplies, so less of a jerk here lol] • they want lucy gone immediately tho 💀 • lucy realising by association for maximus so she says "my friend really likes it here. and he's a good person. he deserves to be somewhere nice and safe, like this. i know i'm not really in the position to be asking for favours but... can he stay?" lucy is really thoughtful and selfless here. but y'all knew that 🥲 • ironic that lucy is banished and attempts to vouch for maximus' character, meanwhile, maximus steals that whole vault's fusion core to rescue lucy--- guess who else getting banished 😭 • why is the room to the fusion core not guarded though fsgkdkg • lucy tries to warn maximus but he goes on a mini rampage in vault 4, causing chaos, throwing people around, wasting food, having residents cowering in fear. all this because he thought lucy was in a pickle 😭 • all maximus has to say for himself is "oops" and "sorry" and "maybe somebody check on him" and the guy is not moving lmao • out on the surface lucy and maximus argue about maximus taking vault 4's fusion core. backup power would only last a few days and lucy demands he return it. maximus' explanation is he needs the fusion core to power the power suit. lucy tells him giving it back is the right thing to do. maximus explains he can't be a knight without the fusion core. lucy pointedly tells him he's not really a knight if he steals anyways. • maximus wants to use the armour to help lucy and in relinquishing the fusion core back to vault 4, it may mean not finding hank. without a single moment's hesitation, lucy says "if my dad found out that i destroyed an entire community to save him, that'd break his heart."--- how cruel the irony and parallel and reverse • it makes her reaction at the observatory that so much more soul crushing knowing hank didn't think twice bombing shady sands. that he wrecked a whole community in regards to her. that she never even considered it meanwhile he's done it at least twice • lucy talks maximus into doing the right thing ��

• back in the hawthorne institute building, maximus drops the fusion core back to vault 4. lucy asks maximus "thinking 'bout those oysters?" "mhm". it feels like lucy wants to make it up to maximus, this whole thing. lucy's vault doesn't have oysters but they have canned tuna and she thinks maximus might still enjoy it. maximus isn't really thinking about what she's saying in the same way she is until • "i was supposed to marry a stranger from another vault. it didn't turn out so good." ☹️ • lucy continues to tell maximus "i don't have the best luck when it comes to strangers... i can honestly say you are the best stranger that i've ever met. you're a good person, titus. and if you wanted to, when all this is over, you could come and live with us in vault 33. with me." this scene is painful because, before the finale, it's all well and good. but maximus' web of lies and then the brotherhood of steel having cold fusion and on top of norm uncovering the crime of the century in vault 31, 32, 33 means this all was a pipe dream. it was so sweet. but vault tec is evil ☹️ • maximus finally breaks down and tells lucy the full and honest truth. "my name isn't titus. it's maximus. titus is the name of the knight who owned this suit before me. he was threatening me, so instead of helping him i watched him die. and i took his armour and i lied to you." the way before maximus did this, lucy told him to "just say yes" to her asking him to come stay at her vault 😞 • maximus doesn't think he's a good person. then lucy reveals she splashed acid in an innocent man's face. nothing stays clean up here • even after all this, lucy still asks maximus to come live with her in her vault 😢 • lucy been in this mf for two weeks lmao

• ok so i get why thaddeus was at the post apocalyptic radio station, because dj carl had a signal [and some pre war music] • thaddeus is listening in and i only noticed now that dj carl said he does not receive visitors to the station and this explains why it was booby trapped 😭 • the next shot is the snake oil salesman putting a gun to his mouth ready to put himself on a shirt. wild. he sees thaddeus and immediately runs after him to sell one of his disturbing little drugs to him • "don't kill me! i'm a doctor. i can help you." 😭 insane • the snake oil salesman called thaddeus' fucked up foot a "tattered tootsy" gfldgldgd • as the snake oil salesman explains his repertoire, thaddeus pulls out and cocks his gun, the snake oil salesman can see thaddeus do this in the reflection of the mirror on the mantelpiece. oof. "what's stopping me from just killing you and taking your whole thing of drugs?" thaddeus blurts out. somebody come get this mannn. snake oil salesman really has to tell thaddeus that only he knows which elixir will cure or kill him, thaddeus is crazy for pulling the blicky out like this

• thaddeus trading a fusion core for idk eternal life is somethin'. what is the snake oil salesman gone do with that? hmmm • i think the snake oil salesman gave him the real deal because a fusion core is like high payment • the concoction is like regeneration but tastes bad. almost thought thaddeus got poisoned he was coughing so hard, thaddeus' foot heals very well [but still appears broken] • the snake oil salesman tells thaddeus the radios station is near shady sands but thaddeus is like? it's radioactive there and the snake oil salesman is like "well, you don't have to worry about that anymore, do you, buddy boy?" ayyy lmao what did he give him? did he give him something to turn him into a super mutant? ghoulification? thing? why did he say this??

• back in vault 33, norm is feeding the imprisoned raiders everyday. then i notice they reprise "what a diff'rence a day makes" by dinah washington, same song used in episode 5 when vault 33 enters vault 32 where it's all been cleaned away, it's the coverup song • veronica is blamed for the raider prisoners being poisoned but i didn't understand why she was implicated, she didn't make or serve the food [sounds like a coverup] • but. rat poison is often slow acting. so this is why i think the raider prisoners were poisoned over time • "what did i tell you, norman? words have meaning" overseer betty tells him. i don't particularly think she had anything to do with this. steph on the other hand... • but isn't it wild overseer betty starts the "resettlement initiative" before hardly leaving the mass casualty event • [this is forced resettlement btw] • this show is real for realistically showing recovering from a baby by having steph icing her private area lol

• norm goes to visit chet and registers that chet has been moved to vault 32 [norm is losing a cousin and friend 😭] • i say steph was strategic with getting with chet because of the conversation norm and chet go on to have • norm asks chet "so you're gonna forget about everything we've seen?" then chet "i feel like this is a good moment for a fresh start." "you think so?" "someone obviously does." and i wonder who that someone is • norm is obviously, naturally, and rightfully upset at this. "you're a coward. you know know that, chet?" chet returns norm a smile laced with fear and astutely surmises "we all are, norm. that's why we live in a vault." chet closes the unit door ending the conversation with norm. • chet giving a succinct response to the state of affairs for vault dwellers that even norm himself can't escape still has me

• cooper is a bloodhound. he comes upon the dilapidated red rocket gas station thaddeus was at, sees some blood on the ground and tastes it. what for, your guess is as good as mine 😭 • cooper hears whimpering from the nuka cola dispenser 😭 he lets dogmeat out and says something unhinged "alright, let's go find your daddy" i can't tell if he's already dropping the accent here but 🥲 • in the past, not only are we greeted with another radiation king but also a scene directly related to cooper and his dog, roosevelt • cooper is taking hits off his old fashioned smoking pipe, reading a magazine, roosevelt laying in his lap. king starts eying barb's unattended pip boy on the counter • cooper bugs that bad boy while barb is none the wiser

• colour analysis time again! because they're wearing the same [and maybe the exact] colours and outfits from episode 5, barb is in all blue [no reds or pinks] and cooper is in his signature blue and yellow. janey appears to be in blue and yellow in this scene too! with mostly yellow like cooper. interesting. • cooper has full blown started spying on his wife but gets cold feet after gazing at roosevelt. "you're right, roosevelt. what are you thinking." cooper says, a mix between talking to his dog and himself 😢 he throws the listening device in the trash. cooper loves and trusts barb so much. too much. • the scene transitions to a dichotomy, barb restfully sleeping in bed, again none the wiser, not a care, it seems. then there is cooper--- nursing a cigarette, watching the vault tec vault 4 ad he filmed for the ill fated doctor lloyd and doctor cassandra. cooper cannot sleep. this is a metaphor for their individual consciences.

• cooper is outside now in the witching hour with roosevelt sifting through trash looking for the listening device. "no dogs in the vault, huh?" cooper says after finally finding it. cooper loved roosevelt so much, he was willing to upend his marriage and discover a corporate conspiracy over him, i could cry 😭 • cooper lovingly kisses roosevelt on the head and no sooner does the scene cut to post war cooper refusing attention from dogmeat telling her "i'm sorry, dogmeat, but you ain't him." cooper has all but dropped his accent when speaking this to dogmeat, his sad and hurt mask slipping • i guess dj carl was only booby trapping for angry critics because he let thaddeus use the radio to hit up the brotherhood of steel lol • thaddeus asking about the critics of dj carl's music with dj carl responding "oh, people get fully mad." 😂 now that thaddeus is healed, he's much nicer, even acting a bit cute lol • refinement and taste for the arts still being in the wasteland tho gdldflgdl • "great job on these bobby traps, by the way" 😭 and it's still got bodies in them, help 😭 • thaddeus points and says "that one's crazy", tears in my eyes. really is some shit out of the fallout games • dj carl goes "critics." shaking his head with thaddeus ironically saying "yeah. people just, uh, can't be nice" 😭 same guy almost shot the snake oil salesman before he cured him

• dj carl sees lucy and maximus walking up and asks thaddeus if they're his ride. thaddeus takes out his gun and dj carl is like "guess not. ok." and closes the window to his radio station quick lmao • the signs around the radio station say "no visitors", "no requests", "keep out", and "no trespassing violators will be executed" 💀 • lmao idk if he was panicking or what but thaddeus starts shooting and unloads his entire clip--- lucy and maximus are so fucking confused, checking to see if they've been hit, "god, i suck without a scope" thaddeus shot like fifteen times 😭 • lucy and maximus raise their hands after all that, lucy informs thaddeus she was the one who cut siggi's head off • thaddeus forgets where he is because he walks backwards into a booby trap and a whole. arrow. goes through his neck 😫 lucy is mortified and so am i ❤️ • when thaddeus tries to talk, it sounds gurgly, he doesn't get why he's not dead but takes the arrow out, lucy and maximus look like they want to vomit gldgldfld • idk how they can see from that distance but everyone notices thaddeus' wound heals up. maximus thinks thaddeus is a ghoul now [maybe a super mutant instead?] • "aw, i'm so stupid" i should've never trusted a doctor that smelled like that." please?? • dj carl opens the hatch to see the brotherhood of steel approaching then promptly closes it • lucy asks "the brotherhood is the good guys?" tell me why thaddeus and maximus was like "uh, it's a complicated organization" not them knowing this faction is 💀 • i realized thaddeus did a 180° on wanting to give the brotherhood of steel siggi's head because maximus convinced him he was some type of altered person [whether ghoul or super mutant] and the brotherhood of steel discriminates against both • maximus lets thaddeus flee, by taking the head--- thaddeus is so? because why did he tell lucy and maximus "uh, i'm sorry about... a lot of things and i didn't mean for... ok, nice meeting you. bye!" i cannot even explain how funny it is to see maximus pull a pacifist speech check by getting everyone out of that alive fldgdlfld • maximus buys lucy time to take siggi's head to moldaver while he uh lies to the brotherhood of steel to give her time to get hank, he gets a head from the radio station fdlgdlf • "find your dad. go home. that's what i want for you" ☹️ • "they're never gonna stop looking for the artifact" the brotherhood of steel always find out • lucy and maximus kiss like they'll never see each other again. the two heads in their respective arms also lock lips 💀 lucy and maximus kiss twice [this one's for you vaultknight] • dj carl opens his porthole and smiles. i am howling. • maximus is given something he's probably not had since childhood but anyways 🥲 • kind of a diss for overseer betty to say the people selected for vault 32 from vault 33 have "been chosen for agreeability, stick-to-itiveness, and all of the other qualities that make for a successful pioneer" what about the ones not chosen from vault 33? sheesh • woody gets cold feet, he doesn't want to go live in vault 32. but it is not up to woody--- he is stopped by vault guards. there is no choice [this is a dictatorship i guess] • they treat woody's desire to not be forcefully moved as an outburst by him. they wait for his dissent to turn back into compliance. it is crazy.

• who would have guessed steph would become overseer of vault 32 • norm has had enough and leaves the ceremony, the last glimpse of chet's face not unlike woody's had been • not sure how norm gets to slip by but he decides to play detective again at a terminal • under the guise of being overseer betty, norm pretends there's a problem as an excuse to talk to overseer 31 • this is fallout's version of the internet lol • noticing norm is talking to a brain in a jar, bud askins, is crazyyy--- idk how often overseer betty and him talk but bud fell for the bait quickly • norm posing as overseer betty goes to vault 31, watching it open as he once again is able to open a door with a lock he didn't even have to pick

• one thing about this episode i want to talk more about is the fact that yes, the wasteland is cruel and unforgiving and even still it can also be warm and loving and as evidenced by the survivors of vault 4, they were weird but nice. just like maximus said about lucy. they went out of their way to help lucy and maximus and those two could've spent the rest of their life there, probably. thank goodness the test subject victims revolted. they turned a hellhole into a home. • any other place, lucy would've been harmed for hurting an innocent person and the fact is that they banished her to the surface, let her live, gave her supplies 😭 vault 4 were the nicest, most compassionate people in the show. i really loved seeing a flower in the desert like that • vault 4 prospers not because but in spite of doctor lloyd's and doctor cassandra's experiments • i hope to see more of vault 4 • another thing i wanted to touch on was something i noticed for a few episodes now and i addressed last episode. and it's that poc in this show are the canary in the coal mine, the alarm system, for the going's on with vault tec and the larger societal conspiracy of greed and power grabbing through war. charlie, moldaver, birdie. to name a few. i could make more cases. but anyways, poc being on the ground trying to tell the world about self cannibalizing systems we live under falling on deaf and delusional ears are not lost on me

[failing-to-write-again]

Does anyone else have vastly different appearances in their head for you in the different routes? Like I day dream a lot, like a lot a lot it's why I post sometimes it's when the fear overrides the need to word vomit.

TW: mentions of abuse, depression and just general fucked up. It's the diaboys there's only so much you can avoid mentioning

Ok so I'm gonna write out a brief description of what always stays the same in these day dreams. I play around with them being human or something else, normal or like assassin's or stuff like that. But there's a few things that generally stay the same. They're all Afab, with she/her pronouns just because I create women a lot in my head but you could easily gender swap them as I'm focusing on personality and general vibe the appearance I describe I think is easily able to fit on different genders or have a same vibe equivalent.

Shu

I've always felt Shu would match well with someone who deals with depression or anxiety, more so less severe cases as two sleep all the time to avoid having to face life people do not make healthy relationships. But someone who has some degree of understanding while also having a better hold of themselves as humans are getting better at learning how to help manage depression. Shu is old and I'm pretty sure he's not bothered to learn much about the modern world aside from sleep/comfort, music (that's a stretch mp3s are not used as much as phones also that bitch would absolutely be a waterproof wireless earphone hoe), and probably porn.

I think a natural leader type person would also suit. I know in theory it sounds antithetical to the s/o with depression but hear me out. I deal with depression but also due to my own personality step into organized positions as I want things done to avoid stress. I really see an oldest sister would match him as it's someone modeling behaviors that to the best of my knowledge Shu was never against having. It was Reiji rejecting him and the triplets being kept away from him that prevented that dynamic setting itself up. I really think if an s/o could get Shu to work on himself he would be trying to be more brotherly. I think out of all the brothers Shu and Subaru are very likely to have a happier relationship with everyone. But they don't have the tools and are too stepped in their ways to navigate without help.

I think they would have to meet in school or something outside of being a sacrificial bride, maybe an actual exchange student with strict instructions of no harm coming to them. Diaboys set up a pretty unhealthy dynamic and since they go cruelty first, then fuck up so bad then realize they're in love that the types that would benefit them "best" would be gone or killed already.

Someone with a good sense or sarcasm would be great for Shu too. Couples who laugh together stay together. Plus a match for teasing would probably be something that leaves a grin on his face all day long.

Shu: "You should really wear a longer skirt in school, or do you want me to look up your skirt as you walk past. Heh, lewd woman"

S/o: [as they walk past] "Why risk breaking uniform code when I can just wear nice underwear under it instead, then I get two benefits"

S/o: [stopping just before turning down a corridor] "There's no rant from Reiji for breaking code and you end up showing off how desperate you are. Lewd man~"

Shu: [in love]

I don't think any super genius level of intelligence is needed but someone with a rounded view on things and a someone who is at least vaguely informed about what they talk about would be good. It avoids the annoyance of someone dense but also isn't so book focused it reminds him of Reiji.

Reiji

Speaking of the spectacled suitor. S/o has gotta be smart in some capacity not necessarily an encyclopedia but maybe good at Chemistry/Biology, or a good strategist. Bitch aims to be a control freak and a future king or, route depending, advisor to the King, so battle tactics would be attractive.

He'd be into the type of woman who doesn't overtly dress sexually. Pencil skirt or pants and blouse with some heels are a great look and can be sexual when you want to be sexual but also just well put together when you aren't looking to get railed on a desk. Except, of course, for when he decides to get handsy he realizes you decided to forgo any underwear.

Nipple piercings. He's definitely into them you can't fool me it's all that hidden succubus energy he finds attractive in a partner.

Past that he wants someone who isn't going to stress him out, someone to be a voice of reason, and someone to relax with.

I think someone chatty could be either great or awful for him. On the one hand he seems so adjusted to over stimulation true silence may unsettle him but at the same time it may annoy him if he isn't interested in conversation. Same for the other side of the coin, someone too quiet would unsettle him cause he won't know what your thinking, but at the same time it might be nice to sit in silence and read.

I've always thought Reiji would want someone tall like 5'10-6'00 as they can't be taller then him because inferiority complex, but I firmly believe he's got a back that is prone to aches already so not having to bend far for kisses or hugs would be nice. Or better yet someone shorter than him but still tall for a woman, so wearing heels gets here to be like 5'11" to 6ft.

Reiji does like humor and spontaneity sometimes. I think a stiff lover would drain him, nobody wants to actually date themselves. Again the older sister type (stereotype I know) would suit, as generally older sisters are pushed to mature fast like he was, except generally it's not as severe as him and older sisters are statistically the most likely to have read about or been to therapy to undo some of the behaviors that aren't as healthy.

[Loud music or something playing]

Reiji: [going to stand up] I swear can nobody keep order in this house...

S/o: [Gently touches his hand] They've yet to make a crash and it's coming from Ayato's room. I say we turn on the record player to drown it out for now. It's not your job to be their dad Sweetness, and all your doing is giving yourself grey hairs

Reiji: [sitting back down] I suppose I could finish this chapter-

[CRASH]

S/o: [quickly stands up and starts to walk to the door, lots of heel clicking] I swear that boy has to ruin every quiet moment I can grasp for us. Wait there.

Reiji: [feels very loved for and is confused as to why that gave him a boner]

I don't think he'd enjoy a dom much but a switch who prefers to sub but isn't against them taking a more gentle lead (not the kinky shit he's into I don't think you'd actually get a whip near him in a healthy relationship).

Ayato

This bitch is tricky. Like I think with the except of Subaru the Sakamakis get worse the younger they are. I feel that's why the triplets never appealed to me they seemed harder to redeem. I could see Shu, Reiji, or Subaru potentially getting better with Reiji least likely but the triplets are... messy.

That being said I think Ayato is definitely going to have to be a least a little bit on the road to being more balanced by the time he meets this s/o.

An s/o who is modern would definitely appeal in my opinion. Video games, outfits, music all that good culture stuff that Ayato is a spectator not a player in right now. He is still old as shit and he hasn't got non...any friends so he doesn't have a lens to learn the culture, all he can do is watch.

Ayato is one of the highest sex driven characters in the games (he sleeps with Yui the most because it uses the underwear sprite almost every time they sleep together indicating it ain't just dreaming happening) I think that may be part possessive part teenage boy. So someone with an interest in partaking is probably important for drive balance. To be clear I don't necessarily mean sexy here, more so that giddy first time giggles type person. Someone who's excited to experience things with him.

That extends past the bedroom too Ayato was starved for activity as a child and is still as a teen so someone who knows what's fun and is happy to take him there is like perfect.

I do think Ayato's s/o will need to be a patient person as I feel Ayato going through therapy would mean a lot of breakdowns or tension in him that could lead to more arguments than potentially needed if they ain't a little patient for the smaller things. There is a difference between 'he demanded I make him Takoyaki then sulked when I reminded him we're equals in this partnership so I'll avoid escalating ' vs 'he has bitten me for talking to a guy, but to him that's just a display of love.' The second thing deserved a conversation then and there you don't avoid rocking the boat when it comes to dangerous behaviors folks.

[See Ayato with a hairbrush sitting cross legged with S/O in his lap] Ayato: So we don't like Jacob...

S/O: Well, Edward isn't exactly a catch himself but like c'mon he imprinted on a baby. Ayato: Beatrix and him were engaged from birth. S/O: Exactly.

Laito

Oh boy. Again needs to be starting therapy or unraveling what his mum did to him and what his culture has shaped him to be first.

Once done however I think Laito would want someone "normal." No baggage, or crazy lifestyle, or wacky habits. I think he craves something calm when everything has been so disordered growing up. I think it's why he likes crosswords, they're a weirdly normal thing in his weird world.

I think he needs someone with a lower sex drive then he displays in the games. A not uncommon trauma response from childhood sexual assault is hyper sexuality which seems to be why Laito is hyper sexual. I don't think that's him as a person, Shu would be high sex drive in how he talks but Laito seems very much to be shielding himself with sex not having sex for sex.

So yeah someone who isn't always in the mood, maybe they sleep naked but just because they want skin on skin contact. Maybe it's to feel his breathing better. But that sort of environment. Where the thing he's over sexualized: himself and women, become less sexual more intimate. He'll be thrown a bit at first 100%. But I think after cuddling while having his hair gentle played with or a shoulder rub he'll be welcoming this new part bodily expression.

Laito is smart, smarter than he gets credit for he's a manipulator with charisma to boot and I've tried a crossword they use a certain part of your brain that I do not use. I think he'd like someone who's not too dense but also I feel like he won't mind too much so long as they could hold conversation and read sarcasm.

He also would probably love a more modern s/o like Ayato. Imagine the shopping sprees!

S/O: [coming out of changing room] I'm really not sure about this dress on me Laito: It's the shade it clashes with your undertones, try it in a different colour. S/O: They don't have it in my size, that sucks. Laito: Why? fufu~ It's Chanel, she was a vampire just take a picture and I'll get the designer over to make you one tailored made. S/O: Are you sure? I don't know how close I want you being stuck to your dad, and all the weirdness you've mentioned. Laito: Oh please, as if he's bothered enough about the fourth in line.

Kanato

This one's hard man. Kanato, Ruki, Kou, and Azusa are some of the hardest to envision in a healthy spot tbh. So this Kanato is very ooc. Think: isn't talking to teddy even if he still carries it, has a better hold on his temper, isn't trying to kill you constantly... basically just not Kanato.

A baker or a cook would absolutely appeal, dates where they show him how to cook new treats could be fun. Also top tier tea parties man.

Potentially a singer, musician, or dancer could appeal as well with the shared interest of singing being there. If the jealousy Kanato has gets weakened a bit I think that could help him get past his "I sing cuze mum liked it" thing.

I also truly think Kanato is like Laito in wanting something normal after all the abnormal he's lived through.

sorry he's so short I seriously don't know what to write. I also do not want to curse you all with mega ooc Kanato discussion

Subaru

Subaru is by far the closest to being the same amount of traumatized some people I've met irl are. Issues still there with the whole punching walls in anger but the fact he seems to punch walls to avoid hurting people implies he is trying to work on himself but doesn't know how.

Subaru could meet his s/o as a sacrificial bride and I think he's the only one who could. If I remember his route correctly, he isn't nearly as sadistic in the reasoning for his biting, hes also like what 15, 16 looking? He is modelling the only behavior he's seen, and while that doesn't make it right it is less heinous than the others.

I feel the most profound importance for this relationship is someone who will not shout, someone with a healthy enough up bringing to view arguments as Subaru approaches them as entirely useless. He will probably still have tantrums at first but having someone entirely unwilling to let communication break down on their end will push Subaru to do the same.

Subaru also does not seem to actually want much at all. He just wants a break, poor thing. If the S/O were to be a sacrificial bride, I think he'd be the one to pull a run away. I don't see Karl caring much here, Subaru is just a consequence of his vile habits as far as Karl is concerned.

From there I do think it's just a normal therapist and probably turning the S/O to a vampire.

[S/O and Subaru in some nice meadow resting on a blanket by a stream. Think flowers everywhere under a gently warm sun.] S/O: I've successfully lasted a week without accidentally breaking anything! Subaru: HAHA! Well done but don't go expecting any prizes I could do that shit. S/O: Fair, your 3 year pin is coming up to. We should probably do something for it. Subaru: Well... there is one thing... [getting up to one knee]

Ruki

oh look what we have here. An endgelord.

Seriously Ruki infuriates me from a character point at times. They are meant to be somewhat foils to the Sakamakis, and for Ruki in particular his behavior is a mirror to Reiji and his ego is closer to Ayato but with Reiji type mannerisms.

So he likes reading, came from nobility but saw the absolute worse of humanity to then re-find a reason to care for others with his brothers. Ok cool, then he dies in an attempt to escape to then have Karl take pity on him and revive him as his subordinate. SO WHY DOES HE HATE POOR PEOPLE!?

Like whenever I sit down to think about it Ruki's sheer cruelty lines up with nothing other than abused children turn into abusers which is a dog-shit and wrong opinion. Like he doesn't have to be pally, he can be a kuudere, he can be jaded. But having him be so sadistic just makes him what he hated, a spoiled rich man taking joy in using his power over others.

But this is about suited partners. So for this fucker I prescribe what he wishes he was. Now this is the material worth much more work and maybe it will get that, I am currently uncertain.

So, let's be real that orphanage still existed after the Mukamis. So my little world I've made with all that maladaptive day dreaming I do. In that world just to show Ruki as not as above everyone as he thinks, his soulmate type S/O as well as some if not all the other S/Os were there either at the same time or sequentially. Ruki got his escape plan from the work of a girl he viewed as too stupid to pull it off, aka S/O. When the boys escape obviously torture happens to see if anyone knows anything, and the boys failed the escape. This is used by the S/O to advise her sisters to change course slightly.

They do escape and Karl realizes very quickly he got the less advantageous group in terms of strategy. He would more than likely approach these girls, maybe they stay human for quite a while but eventually do need to be turned for the pure sake of time.

So Ruki gets introduce when he comes to visit Karl to update on the whole Eve thing only to see S/O. Standing there talking with Karl as if you're equals as he's laughing at some comment. Karl introducing them as his right hand man so to speak. Seeing that you get to live with Karl and you glaring.

After some prodding due to jealousy causing him to take out his insecurities on you in the form of unwanted commentary, you snap. You openly call him out on his failings, how you are what he wishes he was and how you don't masquerade as the same tormentors that made both your childhoods hell.

Eventually (I'm not giving a whole slow burn fic away for free people), he gets whipped something bad. Having to face the fact that he is exactly what he judges in humans so much. I don't imagine many would forgive him, hence why S/O to me cannot be anyone other than such a strong person to have survived and still be so openly kind.

No dialogue here so I can pretend these all got fair treatment.

Yuma

So big boy farmer. His sadism doesn't fully track with me same as Ruki but Yuma has more redeeming character traits that offset the cruelty. He also seems to truly only carry out the Eden project due to loyalty to Karl, he is a fiercely loyal person.

As said for Ruki I love the idea of the Mukami S/Os being sisters from the orphanage. Yumas S/O would probably also have a strong sense of loyalty to Ruki's S/O. The main exception being her loyalty to Karl does not cause her to be in any way sadistic. While Karl is fully ready to drop kick a child the S/O does not see that behavior appropriate at all regardless of her vampire-ism.

Having to deal with pining for a girl who will not date him as he currently treats women may cause him to change for the sake of placating her sure. But once identities are revealed and Yuma learns that the reason the S/O is so anti-cruelty is due to the orphanage I think Yuma would be one of the ones more open to change. Like Ruki, the reflection isn't so nice once the glass was polished.

He just wants a farm and probably kids or dogs lets be real here.

Kou

Once again an edgelord. Who doesn't at all understand give and take as much as he harps on about it. I may have low enough standards to crush on these boys but a hypocrite is TOO LOW.

I'm sounding like a broken record here but a fellow orphan escapee S/O as the vector for Kou getting called out on his bs is great.

Also full on enemies to lovers vibes. One little head canon is what if the S/O at the request of Karl gave up an eye, the eye then enchanted for Kou. Having to stand across from someone who will not buy the excuse of his trauma being an acceptable reason to harm others. Because you lived through it all, if not worse and still gave up an eye free of charge because Karl had this protegee who was so sad about not having two eyes.

I think Kou's love would not start until near a century after. Having to see you again and again after the introduction, seeing how you and your sister's are Karl's jewels as you are so effective because of your humanity. He's prone to envy let's be frank.

But once he opens up to the fact he could change and be like you, maybe after having to work with you, he begins to warm up to it all.

Azusa

Azusa is one like Kanato that I am unsure if I know how to treat.

The love of pain of his would put so much emotional labor on an S/O that just isn't fair. The only relationship I would feel comfortable writing on would be a post therapy and self work Azusa who doesn't make masochism his main personality trait.

He is gentle in disposition so a gentle S/O would match well. Or maybe an extroverted S/O to bring him out his shell a bit, post masochism recovery.

Yeah if any Azusa fans read this and have ideas please write you own and sent it to me I am really curious of seeing this from the perspective on someone who has a connection to him.

[luna-rainbow]

Thanks again for answering my ask and sorry to bombard you with these.

I absolutely agree with you about Bucky and Zemo on TFatWS. This might be long as I have so many thoughts about this. The series seems to fail to understand T'Calla wasn't just someone who helped Bucky although he was of course. He was his friend. The movies don't get everything right with Bucky but I think Bucky and T'Calla's relationship is one of the high points. We don't see them much but when you do you can tell Bucky respected T'Calla immensely and not just because he's a King. He seems to be really genuinely fond of Shuri as well, asking her to call him Bucky instead of the formal Sargeant Barnes.

I know I said it before, but the Wakandans are his friends/his protectors/his adoptive family. He is not just some white guy with colonialist arrogance who expects favours from the African State. If anything its the other way around- he fought because he felt he owed T'Calla and his family a debt.

As such- I do not think he would ever have helped the person who killed T'Callas father. Yes he didn't know T'Chaka, but that is his friend's father. Its like if he found out someone killed Steve's mother and worked with them. Like slapping his friend in the face, and I can't see him doing that.

Also, finally can we talk about how the show robbed us of the emotional impact of T'Challa's death on Bucky? He's sad about Steve leaving but I firmly believe would have grieved for T'Calla too. He's lost not one but two of his best friends within a very short space of time, so he's got grief alongside all his other problems to deal with. Don't know how that man managed to stay sane. Well relatively sane and didn't have a complete breakdown.

Thanks for all the asks!

I love the idea that T'Challa and Bucky had a strong bond. I agree I think Ryan Coogler intended in that short post-credit scene to show that Wakandans have accepted Bucky as part of the family.

The kids are peering down curiously at him as he sleeps, and he doesn't startle, nor does he startle them when he wakes. There's a high degree of mutual trust there. He lives in their community, not in a boxed off high tech room like the one where he was put to sleep. They dressed him in their ethnic clothing and colour-coded it to match Steve. Someone tied (and probably combed) his hair for him when he didn't have a prosthesis. Someone has folded a blue shawl and tied it into a pretty sling to protect the stump of his arm. This is the image of a guy that was being well looked after -- not just in an impersonal, we gotta keep him alive kind of way, but in a what can we do to make his life better kind of way, and if that isn't some sort of family I don't know what is.

I mean...compare with this costume...that looks like some random sweatshirt from some sports brand worn backwards with the extra fabric pinned and pulled over tautly over his right shoulder, complete with the soft elastic cuffs and the weird neckline. Coogler put more effort into a 30 second cameo than TFATWS did for one of Bucky's most emotionally poignant scenes in a series where he's the main character. Sorry I'm never going to pass on an opportunity to shit on the series.

And like yeah, while I don't ship T'Challa and Bucky (I really like T'Challa with Nakia in the MCU), I think they're an underrated dynamic. They strike me as somewhat similar in temperament? Both peace-loving, respectful and compassionate guys, who have a strong sense of loyalty and a fierce streak when someone they love is hurt. And both Bucky and T'Challa are older brothers to younger sisters, and they both have that oldest kid sense of weary responsibility. And for someone who was broken out of 70 years of brainwashing by being reminded of a promise he made, Bucky clearly has a strong sense of loyalty and responsibility.

So yeah, it makes no sense to me that Bucky would actively do something so personally hurtful, so disloyal and irresponsible to T'Challa, without adequate justification.

As for the mourning, yeah. At the time they didn't know how Coogler was planning to write T'Challa out of the story, so that might be why the mourning wasn't in there. To be honest, Bucky's feelings about Steve was handled poorly too. As I've mentioned before, the series avoids actually addressing how Steve's departure played out. Sam and Bucky are sad about Steve's absence, but never talk about the hurtful way Endgame!Steve abandoned both of them, which is far more emotionally relevant. They talk about him as though he had died in a noble sacrifice, not dumped the world on them and went to mess up someone else's timeline.

[nice-bright-colors]

Solver of Problems

Today we just got back from picking up The Wife’s™️ new IPhone 16 Pro. Luckily I was there to remember how to access the Verizon account. Apparently she could recall our old zip code. What should have taken 20-30 minutes took 60. Nonetheless, crisis averted.

Last Wednesday I have a convo with my sister. Our father’s old Saturn SUV has a frame problem and could crack at any minute. She didn’t know what to do, as he has blown all his money. I don’t have any to give them/ him, but suggested they buy a car in their name and let him use it until he dies, then their youngest (and jobless) son could have it.

I also learned they sold my sister’s car to their oldest (who does have a job) son. However, they never signed over the title to him. So I know my father gave them $40K and now their son gave them $8K, all of which is gone.

My BIL recently got 3 years of disability pay from the state of Michigan, so yeah - they have money. But I digress…

Yesterday my sister thanked me for the idea. Today, my father called The Wife™️ (because he never knows where I am)…all excited about the new to him car he has, a Toyota something or other.

I’m shocked they gave me credit for the idea. I’m shocked they went through with it. I’m shocked he called.

Not shocked he called The Wife™️. Not shocked that everyone else couldn’t think of this idea. Also not shocked he’s having issues with the technology. Plus he hasn’t even figured out how to text me a picture of it. (80 years old, his phone is nothing but games).

It’s simple math: we have 2 licensed drivers and 1 car. They have 5 licensed drivers and at the time only 2 cars…now 3.

My sister just texted The Wife™️ and again thanked me for giving her the idea.

In summary, send me your problems, and I can solve for them. Just don’t ask me to solve for my own.

[jujurose222]

Today was the funeral. Yesterday my family went out to eat, to my grandparents favorite restaurant. I used to have to go every single Sunday night for family dinner with my cousins. This time was different though, my grandpa wasn’t there, it was weird but we were all laughing together and reminiscing. My cousins who live an hour away came down, and it was great seeing them. They don’t really know me now. I’m always the one who doesn’t go places, even when they visit. And they rarely visit anymore. So this time we were all forced to sit and talk. But I had the best time seeing them. We were all sitting there talking, after my other cousins left. Ellie and Ava. Love them to death, but that cannot talk about certain things, they start getting uncomfortable. So once they were gone, my sisters and other cousins started talking about the weirdest stuff. First the topic was swingers, and I said “well truly I just don’t think these people love each other. Also there’s a difference between loving someone, and being in love with someone.” My oldest cousin was so shocked, he was like, “Julia we need to sit down and have a conversation one day, oh my god.” And then he was like, “aren’t you supposed to be 6 what happened!?” It was making me happy, because I usually don’t say stuff. I stay quiet and watch because it’s so hard to get a word in.

Then I started talking to my other cousin. He’s a weirdo like me. We are the two weird ones in the family. He says it’s because we are “queer coded” and I was just like, well it’s true. Because we started talking about being gay, and I was just expressing how I think it’s silly to put limits on attraction, a completely illogical and unquantifiable phenomenon. I think it’s silly to say you’re one thing for absolutely sure I guess. It’s better to just be unlabeled basically in my opinion. And he was the only one agreeing with me. And then we started talking about authors and stuff, he’s becoming a teacher, and he loves to read just like me. I was telling him how I love Plato and non-canonical gospel. And he was like, “oh you would love St. Augustine’s work, he’s got a neo-platonic view of faith.” And he was saying how he finds gospel as the most intriguing work in the world. And I was like, YES! It’s just nice to know there’s someone in the family who could actually grasp what I talk about.

After we were talking about that my other cousin said, “okay, do you guys believe in God?” And we all got excited. My other cousin said, “yes. I immediately lose respect for people who think there’s no force higher than them, who is more intelligent and powerful.” I started laughing, pointed to my sister and said, “you’re about to lose respect for this one.” Then she said how she just takes things literal. And my other sister started defending her, saying “Josie doesn’t see things in her head guys.” And that immediately got me riled up, because me and my sister Josie argue about this topic LIKE NO FUCKING TOMORROW.

My cousin was like, “you don’t actually see the apple when you close your eyes.” I was like yes! And I started explaining why she thinks she doesn’t see it. It’s because she’s thinking it’s a literal 3d rendered image in her mind. But that’s not what seeing things is. To see the image of an apple in your mind is like this. At one point in your past, you have seen a physical 3d apple. It registered in your mind, you saw the shapes, curves, and shadows, even if you weren’t conscious of it, your subconscious remembers it. So when someone asks you in the present moment to visualize an apple. You are not LITERALLY seeing the apple, you are using your higher senses, Rudolf Steiner says we have 12. Think of the 6 senses but in the spiritual form, they are all rooted in feeling. So sight is a physical sense, but there’s a spiritual version of sight. It’s higher. This is what you are using when you “visualize” an apple. You are remembering the feeling you had in the past when you saw an apple. This feeling is being shared with the higher sense, and that sense is sharing the essence of a 3d apple with your conscious mind. So you cannot literally see the apple, but your soul is seeing the apple. And eventually through enough spiritual evolution, you could see through the lens of your soul, in a conscious way. But as average citizens, we use our spiritual sight in a more subconscious way. We see these images subconsciously without even realizing. And many of us think we can’t “visualize” because of it. It’s just not literal visualization, so we feel this disconnect.

I can visualize an apple with my eyes open, because I know I won’t physically see the apple. Many people expect to physically see it. ITS NOT PHYSICAL, ITS NOT LITERAL. It is not matter, it’s lighter energy, that’s why you have been told fantasy “doesn’t matter.” Those fantasies are not physical, but that doesn’t make them fake. Fantasy is rooted in feeling. You are using all your spiritual senses to experience fantasy. Memories of past soul experiences are what build the fantasy, they are the building blocks of fantasy. Think of this when craving astral travel. You have to understand how these senses work. As humans you know the first 5 senses, some know the sixth. Astral travel involves the last 6, and those are all rooted in feeling. This is why feeling and fantasy is such a sticky spot, because it can go wrong very quickly, if you are not wise enough.

When I used to try and astral project, I took it all literally. But it’s enigmatic, requires faith, and does not make sense logically. It requires deep knowing. A deep ability to use your higher senses to understand symbolism. Because the symbolism is what weaves the pattern that is your dreams. If you want access to the Dreamtime, you must recognize that your soul does have senses, just as your body. But the soul is different, the soul is up in the air, the soul cannot be defined by a text book. So these senses your soul uses for travel, are the same way. You have to get used to understanding when these senses are subconsciously in use, because they are being used by your soul, every minute of everyday.

The other day I had a graphic dream about somebody. I woke up with a taste in my mouth. I was absolutely shocked, because it was not actually a real taste. It was the essence of a taste that I experienced in my past. My soul tasted it, and communicated it with my conscious mind. So I was consciously aware of a taste that belonged to my fantasy, to my dreams in the am. It was a FANTASTIC dream by the way.

Anyway I don’t know, that conversation with my cousins just made me realize all this about our senses.

Feelings would fit into the sixth sense, empathy. This is the bridge to the other 6. In the higher realm, feelings of sadness are welcomed with more ease, your soul allows it to flow, while our bodies resist it. The soul finds the beauty in the sadness, the body is usually scared of the sadness. If you want to astral travel you cannot have fear of darkness, because the darkness is prominent in the astral realm, it doesn’t go away. It is just reconciled there. To actually astral travel, you must be okay with experiencing “dark” feelings in the higher sense, meaning a wise sense. This is much different that experiencing dark feelings in the human body. This is where many get stuck. You have to be okay with sadness in the physical realm before the idea of consistent astral travel is welcomed.

[stxrrnightjxr]

‘Teen Idle’ by Marina and the diamonds is SO. Black brothers coded. Even, just the whole Black family coded.

And It could be one or all of them, depending on how you interpret it.

“Yeah, I wish I'd been, I wish I'd been, a teen, teen idle

Wish I'd been a prom queen, fighting for the title

Instead of being sixteen and burning up a bible

Feeling super, super, super suicidal.”

You can’t tell me that’s not Sirius before James, wondering for the life of him why he can’t just be good, why his parents always favor Regulus, the ‘teen [idol]’ in this situation, idol being interpreted as ‘idol,’ because he was the favourite. The better Black. “Instead of being sixteen and burning up a Bible,” instead of being inherently gryffindor and seeing the wrong in his parents’ way of life, why couldn’t he just be good for them, and have their approval, even if he knew he shouldn’t need it from people so terrible?

You ALSO can’t tell me that’s not Regulus, seeing his brother thrive, and go beyond the confines of the home they’ve been trapped in, once he’s escaped to gryffindor, and Regulus is still stuck in slytherin. Still stuck in that damned house of 12 grimmauld place. Regulus wishes he could’ve been in Sirius’ place, but instead, he’s the ‘teen [idle],’ idle being idle because he can’t get out, and he’s just idling in his misery.

“The wasted years, the wasted youth

The pretty lies, the ugly truth

And the day has come where I have died

Only to find, I've come alive.”

Bellatrix Black. Being the oldest of the Black sisters, having the whole of the responsibility of upholding the name, having to act strong for the Black name when her younger cousin so drastically disgraces it. ‘The wasted youth’- you can’t tell me Bellatrix isn’t the impersonation of oldest daughter syndrome (might just be me projecting but oh well). The pretty lies, the ugly truth- the famed Black beauty that masks her mental decline into insanity. Her youth wasted, parentified for her two younger sisters, and married off young to a brute, Lestrange. ‘And the day has come where I have died, only to find, I’ve come alive’- she’s happiest when she’s lost track of her sense of self, devoting herself entirely to the dark lord’s cause. She’s happiest when she tortures her sister’s lover (I love Narcissa and Alice I just can’t remember their ship name for the life of me) to the point of insanity. She’s happiest when she finally kills her traitor little cousin.

“Adolescence didn't make sense

A little loss of innocence

The ugliness of being a fool

Ain't youth meant to be beautiful?”

This is Andromeda Black. ‘Adolescence didn’t make sense,’- she’d see all of her peers in relationships with other wizards and witches, but she liked the muggle boy down the road. ‘A little loss of innocence, the ugliness of being a fool, ain’t youth meant to be beautiful?’ She’s realized her family will never accept a muggle. Hell, they’ve never even tolerated them- she’s a fool in love, but it’s disgusting to her mother. Her father resents the very thought. Why is it an occasion for love and affection when her sister married that Malfoy boy- whom she may or may not even love- but it’s ugly when Andromeda wishes to run away to marry a muggle?

“I wanna be a bottle blonde

I don't know why but I feel conned

I wanna be an idle teen

I wish I hadn't been so clean.”

Narcissa, when she’s thrust into the marriage with Lucius. She thinks she loves him, she’s doing it for her family. Maybe she’s finally escaped, like Andromeda, like Sirius- but no. It’s all the same, just instead of her father, it’s her husband. ‘I wish I hadn’t been so clean.’ Maybe she could’ve been good if she’d just gone with Andy.

[alittlebitofloveliness]

Being the youngest is hard sometimes, because it’s like you see WAYY too much. I’m the youngest out of my family, with two older siblings. As such I saw a lot of things. My oldest sister has to take on way too much way too young. She takes care of us and is always trying to stay strong with her optimism but I know sometimes it ways heavily on her. I worry for her and try to offset her, but I know she’ll pull through if I’m by her side. But my brother? He’s older than me and yet I feel YEARS more older than he does in some ways.

He’s a good guy, but hasn’t quite grown up in the ways that count. He worries me the most, because I see how each day him and my dad’s relationship becomes more and more strained. And I see that he really does just have a soft and gentle heart, even if he denies it time and time again. And i am so worried one day the wrong person will see that and take advantage of him. Im worried that my dad will unintentionally push him too far and he’ll leave. My dad while good, doesn’t know how not to be rough at times. I just- it’s hard being the youngest cause of how much i’m able to see but can’t exactly fix. It’s weird cause sometimes I feel like the second oldest rather than the youngest at times. A fact that tends to get empathized around my peers who often make that joke.

SORRY for the vent!! I just felt I had to get it off my chest. And maybe look for a different perspective? Well that and also was gonna ask which outsiders character do you think feels this way the most?

Hey anon, I know I'm SUPER late answering this and I am so sorry about that, I've had a rough couple of days, but that's no excuse and I hope to be more present going forward.

This sounds like a really tough situation. I can't empathize with all of this as I'm the second oldest in my family, but I totally get what you mean about trying to help out and it never quite feeling like enough but not knowing what else to do. I also get what you mean about feeling older than your brother even though he's older. Sometimes it really is like that and it sucks because on the one hand they're supposed to look out for YOU and it's kind of a burden seeing the immaturity in them and how it could hurt them but knowing they wouldn't listen if you tried to point it out. That situation with your dad sounds really tough. I hope you're doing ok <3

Based on what you've said here, i think your sister sounds very Darry coded, and you definitely give Sodapop vibes just based on the everything about this. If I'm being completely honest, I think your brother sounds almost like a mix with of Two-bit and Ponyboy. I dunno, it just sounds like he's got a fun and goofy side, but also a huge well of hurt, and true goodness at his core. I wish the best for him, your sister, and for you. I hope you're having a good night.Much love xx

Thanks for the ask xx

[askauradonprep]

Rise of Red Liveblog Part 1

Just for the record, I'd like to point out there was a Queen of Hearts logo with the kids celebrating coming off the Isle in D3. I saw it not 10 minutes ago. So. :P

30 years is about right, yeah (it's actually 32 but eh)

What distant lands??????????

Also - Beast was elected king. I can see the Isle being part of a winning platform but that's not quite the same thing as this movie suggests.

OH YAY, Uma did sail around a little before she came back! I'm gonna have an updated crew timeline after this.

Huh, is it me or does Auradon look less bright and cheery? I don't mind that necessarily but I kinda wonder if that's meant to imply what's happened since the villains came back. I don't THINK so because that seems pretty 'off message' for this franchise but still.

I kinda like Fairy Godmother's office. It reminds me of a starry sky.

Oh my GOD Uma is literally lounging with her feet up and just has to yell 'pirates' for some of her crew to come do everything for her. LOST REVENGE CREW LET UMA DO SOME THINGS BY HERSELF CHALLENGE

I thought for a second the pirate I have deemed Juno was someone new (only saw her from the back) and the way my eye TWITCHED. I was about to cuss out my favourite character at 1 in the morning.

Fairy Godmother being a nerd who colour codes things should surprise NO ONE.

One reason I actually don't hate Beast, Belle and Fairy Godmother as much as some in this fandom is because even though they knee jerk shoot some things down, they can also take a deep breath and hear people out.

I've ranted enough about Wonderland not joining Auradon before, I don't like it, moving along.

Yeah, okay, I didn't need my heart anyway. That Carlos mention punched me in the chest. Thank you Uma. I like how that's also what convinced FG to help. She loves the VKs so much and I am not hearing alternatives.

"Nobody bears to talk about it" - WE HAVE HEARD ABOUT IT BEFORE. WITH ALLY.

Uma still not standing for a VK being left behind. <3

I love the QOH still having her off with your heads tendency. Remind me to write about the Queen's Forest sometimes.

HELP I LOVE RED SO MUCH ALREADY

The helmets remind me a little of the wheelers from Return to Oz. That's not a bad thing.

Red reminds me of a more rebellious Aladdin.

"I'm a lost cause" Ow.

Even without evil, being the next in line to royalty is rough. Poor girl. It's never just about you when you're royal.

New HC - the Queen of Hearts (and Red) were originally on the Isle and then Maddox made his time machine and meddled.

Go figure she's got sticky fingers. Definitely a VK

I love Chloe already. <333 And her parents seem great <3

Chloe's parents' embarrassing her is so funny and so cute.

THE GLASS BOOTS

Yeah, I'm standing by my head canon - these two have absolutely zero idea how Chad behaves when they aren't there watching him and would be heartbroken to be told so nobody's had the nerve to tell them they raised a douchebag yet.

Wait. Chloe's going to be queen? That can't be right. Surely as the oldest, Chad would be next in line? Chloe must be younger than him. Okay, maybe they know Chad is a douchebag after all. Or maybe they want her to be queen by marriage of somewhere, that's also very possible. Or hey, maybe their traditions have female-preference primogeniture and Charming (and his dad) just didn't have any sisters. That's possible too. That's probably it.

Damn, Queen of Hearts IS ruthless. I'm digging it.

Red, that hat trick wasn't going to work. Poor girl. She so clearly doesn't want to hurt anyone.

Okay, the Queen of Hearts clearly knows Uma and 'another villain gone soft' - sounds like rehabbing ex-villains has gone pretty well.

Awwww, it is cute how excited Chad is for his dad to see him play. And now I stand by my head canon again of nobody wanting to admit to them that he is a jerk.

HA! The Queen of Hearts driving cracked me up.

Love Ain't It is the villain parent theme song. I want to give Red a HUG.

Cinderella, Chloe, you tried, but Red and the Queen of Hearts are not having it. Red, be nice to Chloe!

I'm kinda stanning the Queen of Hearts. I also really like Cinderella's explanation of why she's like this to Chloe.

Queen of Hearts actually seems hurt when Red doesn't want to be like her. She reminds me of Maleficent a little.