#i just think everyone should perceive him whether they want to or not

[bats-and-the-birds]

I made a post involving young/feral/perceived cryptid Dick Grayson and someone tagged something about Barry Allen losing his mind when this terrifying child befriends his nephew and I have NOT stopped thinking about this since.

Because like, imagine you're Barry Allen. You've been doing this hero thing for a while, and you've seen a lot of things, but now your nephew has gotten himself wrapped up in this too, and goddamnit, you're worried because you know this life isn't easy.

Then he makes a friend - Ollie's boy, Roy Harper - and you breathe a little bit easier, because you know that however rough this life is, it's worse without friends. Besides, it's sweet. They're young boys, and they roughhouse, and tell stupid jokes, and play video games together sometimes. It's nice to see Wally just be a kid with someone that he doesn't have to hide from. And, yeah, sure, they get into trouble sometimes, pull pranks that go too far, get themselves in danger because they think they can take on something they can't, but it's still a net positive, because you need friends in this line of work, and that's exactly what they've found.

And you think about Robin. Not often, but you do think about him. Because you know nothing about him, and you don't want to, but he still has the face of a boy that's younger than your nephew. You wonder if he has friends.

But really, you don't think about him that much. You don't want to. He's freaky, and generally, thinking too hard about anything to do with the Bat is inadvisable.

Then there's a fight. A big one. You don't even really know who's fighting on your side until everything has cleared. It was basically the entire Justice League, no one dead, but a few injuried. And your nephew's there too. And Roy. And Robin.

No one really goes near Robin, ever. It was an unspoken rule, of sorts, and you're pretty sure it's just because everyone's scared of messing with Batman's little bird, though whether that was due to fear of Batman or the bird himself, you're not sure.

But Wally doesn't seem to know this. Wally doesn't seem to care. He runs up to Robin with a big grin on his face and grabs his hand, trying to tug him over to where Roy was patching up some injuries.

You notice that Robin doesn't go with him immediately. In fact, he looks confused. But if you know anything about your nephew, he's persistent, and eventually Robin lets himself be dragged over. Roy seems unconcerned, but you can tell that the other adults in the vicinity shift uncomfortably, unsure of what they should do, or if they should do anything at all.

It doesn't last long anyway. Batman calls for Robin and he bounds off, but you notice he stops and hesitantly waves a gloved hand at your nephew before he leaves. Wally waves back.

You don't think much of it.

Then, the next time you and Ollie catch Wally and Roy fighting something they shouldn't be, Robin's right there with them. It's the first time you've seen Robin without Batman in close proximity, and you think he looks just a little bit more human. He smiles sheepishly with the other boys when they're chastised for fighting things that they shouldn't, and you watch Roy ruffle his hair like there's nothing to be worried about. You're still worried.

You still don't think much of it though. Even when Robin's there with the two of them the next time, and the time after that.

But then, oh dear god, he's in your house. You don't actually notice him at first, for two whole hours, because it's normal to see Wally and Roy sitting on the couch and playing video games. You just don't realize that there's a third head in between them until you sit down in an adjacent armchair to see what they're playing, because Robin is just short enough that his head doesn't peak over the back of the couch.

You have to blink a few times to make sure what you're seeing is real, because nestled in between the two slightly older heroes in their civilian attire is Robin, sans his gloves, cape, and boots, but otherwise still in full uniform with his mask still firmly in place, holding a video game controller and laughing while Wally elbows his side to try to make him lose.

And you just sit back in your chair and stare, because what the hell are you even supposed to do in this situation? Your nephew has decided to make friends with Batman's goddamn son - the boy that you've seen sneak up on League members with super hearing, break a grown man's femur, and somehow fade into shadows in a bright yellow cape - and it worked. And now he's playing video games on your couch. And you don't know what to do about that.

[mandarinmoons]

Could I please request for Spencer where reader is in the bau and her and Spencer aren’t exactly friends but they keep it professional but sassy and one night after a case he comforts her because he secretly likes her ? Tysm ❤️

There’s never a dull moment when working at the BAU, whether it be a psychopathic killer or an evening with the team where everyone could let loose with a glass of wine.

You liked to have your fun, but you were determined to keep things professional with everyone. However, one of your coworkers managed to get closer to you than the others and you had your, dare you say, “unprofessional” moments with him.

Both of your bodies allerted you around the same time when coffee was needed and that was when the majority of the quips between you two took place.

“Half a bottle of sugar again, Reid?”

You watched Spencer pour in the needed amount of sugar into his coffee and noticed a small grin form on his lips.

“I think you should know by now how I take it.”

“Yeah, all sugar and no caffeine at this point.”

The banter between you two kept on going as time went on and you felt your poker face disappear every time he walked into the room, the way you wanted to be perceived by your peers was not going to last, especially after one night.

The team left the office one by one as the workday ended. You were still sitting at your desk, staring down at the paperwork in front of you. The case that was just finished didn’t go as well as planned and it left everyone’s mood sour, especially yours. You were the one who tried to talk the unsub into letting the hostage go, you were so close and yet you failed. You were questioning your abilities and if you should even continue, the guilt was too much to bear.

As you leaned your head back and closed your eyes to rest you heard someone walk up behind you.

“Are you okay?”

You sat up and looked behind you, seeing Spencer look down on you with sad eyes.

“I um, yeah, I guess.”

“You guess? That doesn’t sound very convincing.”

“No, it doesn’t.”

Spencer sat down on the chair next to you and eyed you up and down, your back slouched against the chair and your head hanging down, biting your lip and eyes still staring down at the papers in front of you.

“You did your best out there.”

You looked up at Spencer and saw his eyes staring back at you, the brown of his eyes having a comforting quality to them.

“It doesn’t feel like it.”

Spencer looked down at his hands and gulped before continuing, “I know how you feel. There have been times where I think I could’ve done better, acted better, because maybe then they’d still be alive.”

You nodded and looked down at the picked skin along your nails, a bad habit that came out during stressful times.

“But… you can’t let that stop you from doing what you do. Think of all the lives you’re going to save in the future, they need you, we need you.”

It was as if Spencer was reading your mind and knew all of the thoughts going on in your head. You knew that you couldn’t let yourself get too out of hand with your feelings because more people needed you, but you just couldn’t shake it. Hearing it coming from Spencer though felt reassuring, you had no idea how his words managed to be so comforting for you, but you were grateful.

“I need you guys too,” seeing a hint of a smile play on your lips made Spencer break out in a smile as well.

He cleared his throat and scratched the back of his head, “Do you, uh, do you want me to help you finish your paperwork?”

“That would be nice of you,” you scooted to the side with your chair and passed a few papers over to Spencer and handed him a pen. Your fingers touched slightly as he took the pen from your grasp and from the corner of your eye you saw his cheeks form a reddish hue.

The rest of the hour was spent more on joking than actually working. Eventually the paperwork was finished and Spencer being the gentleman that he is, helped you into your coat and held the door for you when walking out of the bullpen.

When reaching the parking lot and walking towards your cars, you stopped and faced Spencer.

“Are you okay?”

“Yeah, I just… I wanted to thank you.”

“Oh, you’re welcome but it’s not needed.”

“Yes it is. I would’ve driven myself insane if you hadn’t stepped in and calmed me down.”

Spencer chuckled and looked down, your words were clearly getting to him and making him nervous.

A moment later you took a step closer and wrapped your arms around him in a hug. Spencer froze at first but pulled you in closer and rested his chin on your head, you couldn’t remember the last time a hug felt so comforting.

The two of you stayed in the position for a good minute until you pulled back and looked into Spencer’s eyes.

“I’m sorry. I know you aren’t the biggest fan of-”

“It’s okay, I liked it.”

You two were left staring at each other in the parking lot for what felt like an eternity until someone walked past the both of you and heard them unlocking their car.

“I should go now, thanks again Spence.”

Spencer nodded and walked over to his car, thinking of the nickname you had just called him, meanwhile you melted into the driver's seat of your car, taking in the moment you just had with your coworker. Was he just a coworker? No, he was your friend, and to Spencer you were something more than a friend.

Taglist: @radioactiveinvisible @whoisspence @sreidisms @lanascinnamongirls @luvkatryna @sp3ncelle @iluvreid @khxna @keiva1000 @reidstheyfriend @hiireadstuff @pleasantwitchgarden @cynbx @kimm4710 @niktwazny303 @reidsdaisies @mindfullycriminal @cumulo-stratus @themarauderseraslut @gayfor-rosadiaz @gubsbuubs

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[samuelsdean]

I Don't Mind If It's You

pairing: spencer reid x reader

summary: maybe styling spencer’s hair should be an everyday thing for both of you.

genre: fluff

word count: 1081

author's notes: i missed spencer's long hair so i decided to write a self-indulging fic about playing with his hair.

SPENCER HAS ALWAYS FOREGONE STYLING HIS HAIR IN THE MORNINGS. He always thought as long as he could just flick the strands of hair behind his ear, he was good to go. And besides, he had a hair tie with him. He could just simply tie it back—no more pesky hair in his line of sight.

He has always foregone styling his hair in the mornings until he met you. While he was big on practicality & “Hairstyling is a waste of time”!” You were the exact opposite. 

It’s quite a funny thing to think about. Spencer, a certified germaphobe, was uncaring about how his hair looked, whether it was kept well today or it looked like a bird’s nest the next. And then, there’s you. You’re not a germaphobe though you pride yourself as a chic woman. Not a law enforcement job could stop you from looking like you came straight out of a magazine.

You always found the time to make sure your hair looked pretty and presentable before heading to work. In your free time—quite rare for FBI agents—you liked to read magazines for trendy new styles to try or watch videos online for tutorials.

And today was definitely your lucky day. No case. Everyone is off for the holidays.

Unfortunately, that’s where your luck ended.

You got injured during your last case. Your arm is in a cast, unable to move it around like you wanted it to. Fortunately, your hand was still good & thankfully, uninjured, unlike the rest of your arm. So, although you were free to lounge around your home, you couldn’t try that one hairstyle you found in one of those Cosmopolitan articles.

Until a genius idea came to you like a light bulb turning on.

“Hey, Spence?”

You asked your boyfriend, who was busy skimming through what seemed like his third or fourth book of the day.

He’s so cute when he’s all focused like this, you thought. 

He hummed in response, still couldn’t tear his eyes away from the pages.

“I have a favor to ask you.”

This made Spencer look up from what he was reading, staring at you questioningly. You were the type of person who never asked for help or favors—unless needed. You often disagreed with him because he would prefer it if you told him whatever problem you had. Although he was a genius and could help with you, he knew lending an ear to someone was already a big help. 

"You know I can't move my arm around, right?" You asked him, to which he nodded in agreement. 

"Yeah, is it itchy?” He asked, about to go off on one of his notable tangents. “It takes around six to eight weeks for broken bones in casts to heal. Also, around that time, the injured area starts to itch.”

You nodded fondly at the man, not minding a little bit that he went off-topic. You love listening to his mini-lectures—not only do you learn something new, but you’d also hear the soft tone of his voice. One thing about Spencer is he had a pretty voice. You could listen to him talk for hours.

“There are five main reasons why your casts itch—nerves, trapped moisture, immune response, dead skin cells, and body hair.” Spencer continued tattling. “Nerves cause itchiness because the nerve endings in the skin may fire as the cast begins to harden and dry, sending itch-inducing signals to the brain. As for the itchiness being an immune response, it ensues when the body perceives the plaster of Paris or fiberglass as an outside invader. Histamines may be released. Itching, redness, and swelling can be brought on by released histamine.” 

With his excitement to share facts about how broken bones heal, you couldn’t help but laugh at how dorky but adorable your boyfriend was, which made him scrunch his nose.

“I’m rambling, aren’t I?”

“You are, but I don’t mind. I like it.”

At this, Spencer’s ears started turning pink, making you chuckle some more. He scratched the back of his neck in shyness as you took it as a clue to tell him what you needed from him.

“My arm isn’t itchy, babe,” you began, “What I need from you is your hair.”

“My what?” 

“Your hair.” 

It was your turn to get shy. You knew Spencer wasn’t a big fan of having his hair messed with. It’s not that he hates it. He just doesn’t like messing with it that much—minus the occasional flicking behind his ear and simply tying it back when it gets irritating.

“I—um,” you explained further, trying to fight against the embarrassment you were feeling. This was your boyfriend you’re talking to!  “I saw this cute new hairstyle online and I wanted to try it but you know, with the broken arm and all…” You trailed off.

“Oh.”

“Yeah, oh.” You chuckled humorlessly, beyond embarrassed at this point.

This was such a bad idea. Why did you even bring it up? You were about to start berating yourself, ready to hop onto the next train and create a new identity for yourself, when you noticed Spencer shuffling towards you, sitting on the floor between your legs.

“You want me to style your hair?” You asked incredulously, still can’t believe Spencer would let you play with his hair.

“Of course.” He replied as if it was the most obvious thing in the world 

Like it was an everyday thing for anyone—you—to do his hair.

“I don’t mind my hair being played with if it’s you.”

At that, you blushed as you started combing through his soft curls with your fingers. Spencer merely smiled softly at the gesture and closed his eyes.

“Y/N?” Spencer asked quietly.

“Yeah?” You asked back as you started braiding his hair. “What is it, Spence?”

“I love you.” He muttered. “I may not like it when people touch my hair out of nowhere. But if it’s you, I don’t mind having you do it for the rest of my life.”

You gasped at his sudden confession and were about to say those three words back when you felt it.

Spencer planted a kiss on your injured arm and pulled your other one down, so he could be face-to-face with you. And before you knew it, his lips brushed against yours, eyelashes fluttering against your cheeks.

Maybe styling Spencer’s hair should be an everyday thing for both of you.

[pupmkincake2000]

Characters study?

Since I play as Gale, I wanted to look at relationships from his side and from my own, since I think that Gale and I have very similar beliefs regarding relationships.

Don't get me wrong, I love Halsin,

he's an incredibly kind and caring teddy bear, but being in a relationship with him is not for everyone. And there are moments in the conversation with him that were very unpleasant for me. But I’m glad that he warned me in advance how he perceives a relationship with someone.

Yes, there are many people who are into polyamorous relationships, but I don’t think Gale is one of them, despite the opportunity to sleep with Halsin even when playing as Gale (I think that in this case some lines should not be available at all as it was with the Dark Urge, when you cannot resist your nature, even when playing a good character).

Now I will explain why.

Halsin honestly admits that monogamy is not for him. He considers us someone special, in fact, declares his love, but immediately says that we are not that special at all and he, even having entered into a relationship with us, will still be free to sleep with other people.

His words are not a lie, but they seem to contradict each other.

That is... there are more people who want to be something special, who want exclusivity from those they are dating than those who would prefer polyamory, I believe. In the case of Halsin, you will simply be just one of his huge number of lovers, and, perhaps, in another couple of decades, he will say those words about love and specialness to someone else, as he spoke to us. It's not mine cup of tea, to be honest. I am a selfish person, and I would like to be special for someone I love. And I really didn’t like that Halsin, without even knowing whether such a relationship suits me, says he hopes to sleep with the person I am dating too. This remark made me understand that although Halsin is still my type of men in appearance and character, he absolutely does not fit into my understanding of relationships, love and specialness. Let me remind you, I play Gale's origin and I am sure that Gale would also refuse and be disappointed.

Just like Astarion. And I will now explain why.

Literally Gale's entire problem and trauma is based on the fact that he wants to be loved,

he wants to be cared for, seen, considered special (which in the case of Halsin will be impossible), he wants to be visible and significant. I know that playing his origin you are still able to choose any lines but... if you play Tav and romance him, Gale does not agree to share his love with someone else and does not agree to be shared too. I believe that Gail is monogamous, and not just monogamous, but he won't allow the thought that his loved one could be with someone else or that he himself could be with someone else while already being in a relationship. Such people rarely fall in love, they are like the wolves Halsin spoke about, who choose a lover for the rest of their lives. And no, I don’t think Mystra was such a lover. I'm sure Gale wants in a relationship not so much exclusivity, but to have something of his own. Something that no one can take away from him. Someone only his.

The same story with Astarion.

He hasn’t had anything of his own for 200 years, and despite his mannerisms and flirting with everyone, he also wants to have something of his own, something that no one will take away from him, and something that will belong to him and to no one else. He is also desperately looking for someone who will be his. Only his. Yes, he agrees to a threesome, he agrees to share his lover with Halsin, but he clearly does not want this and agrees only because he is afraid of losing his love. He refuses to have sex with the drow twins, and if you agree, he will most likely end the romance with you. He is very afraid of not satisfying his lover; he wants to be desired and loved. He and Gale are very much alike when it comes to the relationship, although their reactions are different. Both want exclusivity. One speaks about it directly, the second one shouts about it with his behavior and body language.

I think that's why I love the ship so much.

They both want the same thing, they just express their desires differently.

[iwritenarrativesandstuff]

Suddenly remembered something I wanted to say re:Akechi, because I think it's really core to his character (at least the way I interpreted him?) and I feel like it explains a lot of his contradictions. Essentially, he is incapable of seeing himself as just a person - he's either the greatest hero/detective ever, or he's some violent monster, and it's like there's no in-between. It's very in keeping with his obvious superiority-inferiority complex, but it goes deeper than that too; when he's in a role, it seems like his self-perception kind of changes too depending on how he is perceived by others. He really does get a confidence boost from being the Detective Prince. He really does shut down emotionally as the Black Mask.

They're masks that he's made, and it's not that aspects of them aren't based in truth to some extent, but I think it goes to show why he's not actually that fantastic a liar (imo, I found the outright lies pretty obvious), but he is a very good actor. He's either an angel or a demon, and never a person, but there are conditions to that. He is an angel when he is perfect - to society. He is a demon when he is vengeful - again, to society. He is never a person, because he never was seen as one - to society. He was disregarded. To be anything of value or notoriety, whether that's hero or villain, he has to be wildly more or less than who he actually is, and he's been building these masks up for so long that I really think he lost sight of the actual person behind it all. And I don't think he wanted to see that person anyways, because that person "wasn't good enough" and I do think he'd rather be anything other than himself. That trickery, that deflection from the person within, in itself brings him pride and satisfaction. He wants to be loved and needed instead of being cast aside, but I also think that if he can't have that then he'd much rather be hated than never have mattered at all. He weaponizes his own loneliness - if he can't ever be accepted then he'll build his own pedestal apart from everyone else.

It's so fascinating too, because I just wonder how much of this he was consciously aware of pre, during, and post engine room. There's this recurring thing with him where he goes "I can only be myself" etc but I just want to shake him because, well, who is that, Akechi??? Or, who do you think that is? Do you actually have an answer? Is it predicated on your actual feelings or solely on your success at fooling everyone around you? Is there any part of you that you actually like that isn't based on a painstakingly constructed mask? Isn't it all mostly lies to deflect from the truth? Isn't it all founded mostly on truth, nonetheless?

It drives me insane. And I think this is a big reason why he breaks so hard in the engine room, because so much of his mask requires his "audience" to perform in a particular way. And here he is, and the Thieves have beaten him, so there goes the first mask, because he's no longer "perfect". He swings wildly into the ugliest sides of him, but this mask is broken too, amidst him vehemently and desperately denying that he has any other emotions than hatred and rage, or any other needs or desires than vengeance. And after that, it's just him. And they should reject him, right? That's what happens. He's not useful, he's not needed or perfect, his hands are stained with blood. But the Thieves, again, don't play the role he expects them to. They, despite everything, relate to him - because he is in fact very similar in a lot of ways and they acknowledge him as a person - not a hero, or idol, or villain, or tool, or unwanted child - but as a damaged teen like the rest of them. And he does not know what to do with that. His identity is intrinsically dependent on getting the right reactions from other people as a form of ingratiating himself - if he does not get that reciprocal reaction he's looking for, his act falters, and, I really do believe that so does his self-perception. That's why you see different aspects of him seep out when he's spending time with Joker, because Joker does not react the way he expects, and Akechi both does and does not like this, because it leaves him feeling both intrigued and vulnerable.

I do think this particular aspect of his character is something a lot of the Thieves don't fully grasp - certainly, I think Joker "I need the mask" Persona 5 understands to a degree, but the sheer degree of reliance and the level of pride attached to it is something that confuses him a little, I think, especially in Mementos Mission. I think the thief that comes closest is actually Morgana, who has a similar superiority-inferiority complex and a desperate need to be seen as competent and useful lest he be discarded. (This is a big part of why the rather lackluster writing with Morgana's arc frustrates me so much because I really do feel it was meant to be contrasted with Akechi's, but I digress.) Morgana is the one to make that emotional appeal to Akechi, which makes a degree of sense - Morgana struggled all along with finding a place in the world. His form leads others to underestimate him; he visually doesn't fit in. He's acting out the role of a chivalrous and cool phantom thief but is more pragmatic with how he views relationships, at least at first. He wants a place to belong where he is appreciated more than anything but his pride won't let him spit it out. Accepting that he belongs and that he is loved even if he really did have nothing of value to provide is a big part of the resolution of his arc. He tries to offer that learned lesson to Akechi in turn ("Follow your true feelings. Even if you think people hate you, or don't want you around-"), but Akechi just wasn't in the right space to listen. There's also an important distinction between the two - Morgana envies humans and looks up to them. Akechi envies humans and looks down on them. Morgana is perfectly happy once he is assured a place amongst the group, but Akechi see-saws wildly between wanting to belong and wanting to be a step above the rest and separating himself further. So while Morgana actually really did cut to the core of the issue, his appeal would never have worked at this point because a) Akechi's pride is dependent on him maintaining his solo act, and b) he just got outed as not actually hating Joker in front of seven other people including Joker himself lmao.

So, uh, sorry, Morgana. Points for trying.

[misasimagines]

happy birthday Jiro!!! conspiracy time.

Okay, I don’t have any fics or hcs for Jiro’s birthday, but I do have a theory. I don’t think Yuri actually wants Jiro to get healthier and might actually prefer it if he stays unhealthy and dependent on Yuri. Theory below! This is long... If I missed anything or got anything wrong or if anyone has additional information to submit, PLEASE!!! Share!!!!

I also wrote this frantically to post before midnight lmao please go easy on me...

To start, we should look into what we know about Yuri:

He’s a transfer from Frostheim for reasons that have left him on very very very bad terms with Jin and Frostheim as a whole. He’s referred to as having run away to hide in Mortkranken. Whether he is the friend who betrayed Jin or not, I can’t say, but it’s very possible he was involved in something that left Jin and co upset with him to the point of basically exiling him. 

He’s afraid of Romeo, so Sinostra is another out for him by default. Why is he afraid, again, I can’t say, but this leaves him without possible support from two big possible financial backers. Since he is very serious about the budget and how Mortkranken looks, this is a bad thing for him and one he is assuredly very aware of. Remember, Yuri is obsessed with his own legacy, his own image. Mortkranken’s success is Yuri’s success. Mortkranken looking poor and having no accolades reflects poorly on him and he cannot separate himself from this.

He can’t fight, either by choice or lack of ability, and relies on Jiro to protect him. This is something they both acknowledge and is a feature of the Mortkranken chapter. It makes sense, as his stigma is not particularly combat focused and he complains about exercise.

And he has no allies or friends currently, at least publicly. Everyone who references him does so with a bit of distaste or distance, and when he is trying to convince his own Mortkranken students to help him and the MC carry up the vat of acid, he has to bribe them. He cannot appeal to their loyalty to him as their captain, their respect, their friendship- no, he has to pay them to help him.

Mortkranken as a whole operates on a laissez-faire foundation, where Yuri isn’t even aware of what the gen admission students are researching or who is interning at Darkwick General. Within his own house, the one he is the captain of, he is still an outsider and isolated from his peers.

If you go through Yuri’s home screen lines, he refers to Jiro A LOT, and like… no one else. Dude can’t do anything without having Jiro do it for him or with him. Their dynamic is very much Yuri ordering Jiro around and Jiro obeying (with complaints here and there, but mostly he just goes through with it all). There’s even a suggestion that Jiro might be the most effective impulse control that Yuri has. After failing to cure the MC’s cure with his new ibuprofen knockoff, he wants to jump right into shooting her up with anomaly blood without acknowledging the danger this could put her in. Jiro has to comment that there’s no reason to do this hastily, as it could kill her. Only then does Yuri back down and seem to recognize he was being too impulsive in his desire to hide his perceived failure. 

From all of this, we can see that Yuri does have a vested interest in keeping Jiro by his side. Jiro is smart, strong, seems to have few qualms with putting himself in danger, and is pragmatic enough as to acknowledge that he needs Yuri to survive. Why would Yuri pick Jiro, though, if he could have reasonably recruited someone else to protect him or be his assistant? There are physically stronger and more healthy ghouls, like Alan, or he could have tried to bond with someone more amenable like Rui (however, it seems like Rui might not be the biggest Yuri fan…more on that later) Well…

Jiro also… He’s not completely clear about his memory issues: 

For someone who is so straightforward, this seems VERY unclear and peculiar to me. He doesn’t say he doesn’t remember, he says his memories are vague and that there’s no evidence either way. If he is a suspect or if he did commit the murder and he DOES remember, then here’s another way Yuri could buy his alliance: corroborate Jiro having amnesia as a symptom of his sickness, or even worse, cause amnesia. After the graveyard, inter-house mission chapter and Jiro’s reaction to the crying ghost child, it’s not unfounded to say Jiro himself might have wanted to get rid of unpleasant memories.

Also note that the Vagastrom student says “kid” from Ultio, and Jiro’s negative reaction is to a ghost child. 

Now that we have that out of the way, what are some reasons how Yuri would potentially keep Jiro unhealthy and therefore reliant on him? The voiceline that started this theory is Jiro’s affinity 22 home screen voice line:

I’m not a medical student or a doctor or particularly versed in any of this, but from a little bit of research, my understanding is that simple interrupted sutures are used on shallower, more surgical cuts and could potentially leave lasting marks, while deep dermal sutures are done on a deeper layer of the flesh, more effective on larger wounds, and are generally meant to be used with suture materials that can be absorbed by the body once the wound has closed. Given that Jiro is noted to not heal very well, and Yuri frequently has to redress his wounds, it seems like maybe the shallower stitches aren’t holding up. Additionally, it doesn’t look like Jiro’s wounds are all exclusively surgical. Let’s take a minute to look at Jiro shirtless for conspiracy reasons, not lust reasons (okay, maybe some lust reasons):

Most of the cuts on his back and arms look like claw marks. They’re more jagged, asymmetric, and inconsistent. The scar down his chest is pretty strange given the star shapes, so that’s likely related to Yuri’s surgical incisions, but that’s not what Yuri is treating here. He’s treating the claw marked shaped wounds. Jiro is also NOT stupid, so the fact that he’s suggesting this is not to be overlooked. Yuri chooses not to listen, maybe because it would be more effective, and then he’d rely on Yuri less.

Then there are these moments:

The first one is a blatant lie, as Jiro is the one who does most of the shot-administering. He does the MC’s checkups, including bloodwork and giving her the dosage of Yuri’s liquid tylenol. The only time he falters in this is when his illness acts up and makes him shaky. So no, he doesn’t have a lack of expertise that keeps him from administering his own shots unless there’s something currently unknown (or I’m missing).

For the second screenshot, this is during the conversation between Yuri and Jiro where Jiro has presumably come back from Frostheim and is lying or experiencing memory problems when relaying his whereabouts to Yuri. He’s experiencing what they refer to as “cyanosis” which is low oxygen in the blood, causing extremities to change color in purple/blue (something you can see on his hands in his Halloween look, so it’s likely a recurring or constant condition). 

Yuri gives him an adrenaline shot, which, again, not in the medical field, but this seems fine? Adrenaline would speed up his heart which would encourage blood and oxygen flow to his extremities which would likely help. 

Jiro then requests metoclopramide hydrochloride which is a medication taken by people with gastrointestinal issues generally related to diabetes and acid reflux. It’s supposed to help with nausea and vomiting, both symptoms that pop up a lot for him. If he was in a coma for a long time and admits to not being able to eat anything, then this request of his makes sense. His stomach lining and esophagus were likely damaged by intubation and stomach acid, and any related surgery or medication could only add to this damage. 

Yuri responds just by giving him a glucose shot instead which Jiro allows, but it seems like this would only work if he had low blood sugar and not a wealth of other issues that he definitely has. I’m sure low blood sugar is something he experiences as well due to his inability to eat anything, but I don’t see anything that says this would treat his nausea. Curious that Yuri might be intentionally leaving Jiro to experience negative side effects!

And then there is, ultimately, Jiro lying or having memory issues when he claims to have been to Obscuary but returns to Mortkranken with snowflakes in his hair and he’s borderline hypothermic. Jiro is very blunt and straightforward, which could lead you to believe he doesn’t lie, but I don’t think that’s necessarily the correct position to take. He’s smart, he’s crazy smart when it comes to the medical field to the point that he’s making major discoveries with little acknowledgment from himself because he sees them as minor. Anything that Yuri does to him that isn’t 100% going to help him heal? He knows. And who else knows?

Rui.

Rui can watch things going on without anyone knowing he’s there, and he just so happens to interrupt a conversation where Tohma is CLEARLY trying to use leading questions on the MC to get her to reveal some information that would implicate a Mortkranken student, likely Jiro, as being a suspect in whoever interrogated and potentially killed a Frostheim student. Rui shows up and gives him an alibi. Why? Not sure, I have no clue what Rui’s relationship is to Jiro or if this interaction was purely to spite Tohma or if it was in opposition to Yuri somehow, but it’s suspicious nonetheless how this plays out.

So, basically, I don’t trust that Yuri has Jiro’s best interests at heart. I don’t mean to say in any of this that Yuri is evil, but I think he’s afraid and he’s clinging to a method of preserving his safety and that method is Jiro. As long as Jiro is reliant upon Yuri for medical care, Yuri can throw him at his problems and use him as an assistant and bodyguard. I also really hope to see how Rui is involved, if at all, and I have a general vibe that Rui, reaper as he is, might be able to see and/or hear Zenji... But that's just a vibe, I don't have evidence for that one :)

[dailykafka]

I'm not sure if this is just me, but... somehow, I find there is this strange perversion to the idea of Franz Kafka's diaries and all his letters being exposed to the world completely against his will. All of his deepest, heartfelt secrets, where he is his most vulnerable, most sensitive, most wicked and most anxious, all never meant to be read by everyone. Now people a century later have all sorts of thoughts about his life, his most personal views, and his lovers. Some call him a twisted incel, others say he's a miserable timid boy with daddy issues, many other judgements that even I would fear to be labelled off. Given that he had wrote to himself that he wished to not be perceived, or something of the sort, now his most intimate letters to his Father and his lovers are now dawned upon by millions of eyes, under profound judgement from different types of minds. Yet, there is this certain schadenfreude about that which feels more pleasurable than it should be. It's weird. I'm sure we all feel it too, and I guess that's why we love Franz Kafka so much. Whether I'm against his diary being shared or not, I'll not say. Too much of a headache to get into the nuances of. But I just want to share a feeling of this sort. I don't know.

This is a very interesting perspective. I think the thing is that humans are naturally curious creatures and we want to know more about something or someone, especially if it's not meant for us. So yes, there's definitely some sort of weird pleasure in that, like a child stealing a candy. We know it's wrong but we are still curious.

And about interpreting Kafka, obviously the diaries help creating a certain image of him (which then gets popularized on the internet) and misinterpreting or misunderstanding him is a natural consequence of all this.

For me, while I read his diaries and letters, I understand that the Kafka that I know and the Kafka that existed are not the same people. It's impossible to know "true" Kafka but I'm content with seeing parts of him. The important thing is to realize that what we see and what we construct in our heads is not wholly who Kafka was. And I think it's okay not to know "true" Kafka, obviously we shouldn't stretch our interpretations too much, putting labels on Kafka which are not necessarily true, or which we can't really know, but it's okay to have a certain image of him and also knowing that that's not the whole story. And it's okay not to know the whole story.

The diaries and letters are already out, we can't reverse that. What matters is how we interact with them. We can have our interpretations of Kafka, of anyone really, but also it's important not to get too carried away with it and to treat Kafka with respect.

[sunshine-jesse]

Ashley Graves Did Something Wrong

TCOAL plays a lot of fun games with the ways it makes you perceive events. From the title screen itself, to various pieces of official art, it primes you to accept certain narratives surrounding the game. Namely, the one that Ashley is very not good. She is, in fact, very bad! And it's pretty easy to see why- many of her actions fit neatly into the mold of an abuser. She's controlling, she tries to deflect blame, gaslights Andrew into making him take the blame for things she pushed him to do to begin with, and harasses other women to ruin his relationships with them.

It's all so easy, and makes so much sense. Case closed.

Right? Well, no. But actually yes! But actually, it's not that simple.

Y'see, as I said, the game establishes this framing from the get-go. It introduces us to our, uh, heroes and tells us in no uncertain terms that Ashley is bad and Andrew is a non-entity. It sets this framing intentionally so that many players will engage in a little quirk of human psychology called…

Confirmation bias!

I'm sure we all know what that is, right? Well, for those who don't, it's when we start with a bias towards something- or an idea of how things SHOULD be- and view every piece of evidence as confirmation that said bias is correct. The game, very blatantly, does this with Ashley's actions by priming us to see them as part of an abuse dynamic, with her as the primary abuser. And, indeed, it's not too hard to dig into Andrew's behavior and figure out that he, too, is fucked up and awful and come to the conclusion that their relationship was mutually fucked up and abusive. I did that in my last two essays, so I won't cover that ground again here. With this, it's easy to think that they bring out the worst in each other and that any relationship they have would be toxic, fucked up, dark, and every other word or phrase that describes the same idea, whether it makes them happy or not.

… But what if I told you that this, too, was an intentional misdirection?

So. Let us, for a moment, completely remove the framing that their relationship is toxic. Let us remove the framing that their relationship is abnormal or aberrant. Let's even remove the framing that either one of them is responsible for the harm of the other. I'm not arguing that any of this is not the case. Please, for the love of god, do not think that I am, if only so you can take the rest of what I have to say seriously. What I'm doing is trying to examine the two of them free of as many preconceptions as I can, using nothing but textual evidence and inference to figure out why Andrew and Ashley treat each other the way they do.

I will later examine why they MIStreat each other too, but first comes the reasons they treat each other well.

I'm going to start with Andrew, because, despite being the more complex of the two, it's actually pretty easy to figure out why he treats Ashley the way he does based on what he says. Let's go all the way back to the earliest known incident between the two in the story, where the two of them were at their most, uh, "pure," for lack of a better word: The cupcake scene.

Leyley was supposedly a problem child. She was neglected by her parents, disliked by her friends, and had nobody else but Andrew to rely on. She got nothing- absolutely nothing- from anyone else. And so, Andrew decided to celebrate her birthday, by buying her the cupcakes she wanted, by giving her what she lacked from others. By providing for her, and taking care of her. All he wanted was to make her happy, more than anything else. And, as Nina learned the hard way, at the expense of everyone else.

He doesn't lack empathy, per se. Andy just loves Leyley more than he loves anyone else by such a wide margin that his desire to provide for her overrides his fear of consequences… until those consequences threaten to separate the two of them.

That is a very Gender Roles thing to do. More on that later.

So. Ashley. Everyone's favorite disaster. Why does she treat Andrew the way she does? What does she provide for him? Well, isn't it obvious? She, too, wants to provide for him. Remember, she wanted the lemon cupcake because she thought it's what HE wanted. She also does most of the chores around the house. She prepares food, cleans the house, and does their laundry. She also provides for his non-sexual physical needs by offering him comfort whenever he needs it. It makes her feel useful. Wanted. Needed.

Ah, another very Gender Roles thing to do. See where I'm going with this?

The two neatly fit into a standard husband/wife relationship in a lot of ways. It's THE platonic ideal of such a relationship, actually! They make each other happy and provide WHAT THEY THINK the other really wants. It's really cute and perfect! As long as you ignore all the bad.

ignore all the bad …ignore all the bad… But we obviously shouldn't ignore all the bad. That would be ridiculous.

What I want to do is, instead, examine where the bad comes from, and why it's there. With the abuser/abused dynamic in mind, it's pretty easy to come to the conclusion that a mutual desire for control and power over the other is the sole determining factor. It's arguably the Central Theme of the game, and maybe a big part of what Nemlei is trying to convey. But, like, why should it end there? Why should that be where the analysis ends? There's a reason for everything.

They don't want to control each other for its own sake. They don't want to control each other solely to cover their own insecurities.

So why?

Ashley, first. She's obviously an insecure little monster, having never received the validation that she needs to really come into her own as a person. She keeps seeking it. Keeps trying to provide for Andrew. Keeps trying to make herself useful. Now, let's look at her calls towards Julia:

"DO YOU THINK YOU'RE BETTER THAN ME!? Just because you can fuck him and I can't?"

Ah, wait, hold on a minute.

"You think that's love?! Are you fucking delusional?? Cumdumpsters like you are just that."

Where does that wording come from?

"He will never love you. Not like he loves me. I am the only one. I am everything."

She doesn't need validation just for the sake of her insecurities. She needs it because she needs Andrew to be happy, and in her mind, she's the only one who can provide it. She knows him better than anyone else. She can see how happy she seems to make him, and that nobody else can do what she does. She knows, beyond a shadow of a doubt, that she makes Andrew more comfortable than anyone. She knows how important physical affection is to him. She can feel it. She doesn't lack empathy towards his plight or feelings; she has more of it than anyone, actually!

But Andrew, crucially, never seems to provide her any validation for this, even though she knows better. That's why she's so insecure.

"But wait," you might say, "didn't he, literally, fucking kill for her?"

Yes. But he always tries to place the blame on Ashley or use her as a scapegoat, when he was the one who pulled the trigger. He never accepts even the smallest amount of responsibility. And if a man can't even take responsibility for the violence he inflicts on others, what does that say about him? What does it say about how much he actually cares? oh. more gender roles. huh.

In Ashley's mind, that validation isn't validation because he didn't do it to prove he cared about her. He did it to shut her up. And… he never says anything to the contrary. He refuses to. All his validation is depressingly, overbearingly conditional.

His words always come with a caveat. They're always said in spite of something. They lack warmth. They lack kindness. They lack affection. She is never, ever given a key to lock the door to her insecurities…

…even though Andrew obviously has that key. He just refuses to give it to her.

But why?

Society! :D

There is something so fundamentally, obviously wrong with the way Andrew feels towards Ashley. She is a tar soul. A pariah. So horrid that her parents don't want her, so obviously bad that even demons don't want her. And yet Andrew, in spite of everything, still wants her. He wants to take care of her, when society tells him not to bother. He wants to protect her from other men, and even from herself. It manifests as jealousy because…

He, too, thinks the only one qualified to provide for Ashley is himself, because he was the only one who ever had. Violence comes so naturally to him that he takes it for granted. He kills for her, threatens to physically assault her when he thinks she's putting herself in danger.

It's so second nature to him that he thinks it should obviously be enough. But it isn't. His violence is so second nature as to be passive. It's non-committal. And what Ashley wants is committment.

But because of how society views Ashley, and how the world would view a romantic relationship between them, he can't truly commit to her. He can't give her the validation she really needs, because everything and everyone has told him that it's wrong. That she's wrong. And all his parents ever taught him is to be afraid of how others will react to that wrongness.

hey look, a man fearing the commitment a woman wants from him! more gender stereotypes!! I wonder what this game is trying to say!!!

Maybe I'm crazy or something. Maybe I'm just looking into it too deep. But I don't really care. I don't care if this is the intended reading, and neither should you. The fact of the matter is that most of the things that define them as toxic are not their fault. Most of the reasons they mistreat each other come from without, rather than within. The only reason they can't love each other is because the world tells them not to. Because it expects them to fill certain roles, to be certain people.

But Ashley can only ever be herself.

Maybe someone who's an actual expert on this subject matter could weigh in and give a true feminist reading. But me? I'm just here to point out patterns. I'm just here to point out facts. And one of those facts is that, to the world around her, Ashley did something wrong: She was born.

The Steam reviews of this game are fucking funny, but a lot of them say one thing that couldn't be further from the truth:

"I can fix her!"

No, you can't. She's only 'broken' in the context of her environment.

But in the words of another analyst:

It's madness to expect tar to behave like water.

So cut them some slack! They might finally succeed in a world that wanted nothing more than for them to fail. It's not our right to take that away from them.

[frownyalfred]

So....*bludgeons you with borderline is omegaverse lite stick* outside of ASOHverse, what do you think the batfam's dynamics are? This is ignoring ships and ship potential, just if you were writing a fict about platonic or pack dynamics heavy batfam, what would you put their various dynamics as?

Oh gosh, okay, platonic batfamily...

Bruce - I really like him either as an alpha or an omega, no in between needed. He's so intense and territorial and I think that lends itself to both ends of the dynamics spectrum. He's also a natural born leader, as well as a very patient teacher. Either way, platonic a/b/o fics with him should lean more into those characteristics and less into the negative stereotypes (mean pack alpha, overly emotional omega, etc)

Dick - I like him as a very relaxed alpha or a strong and determined beta. He's the glue in so many versions of a Batfamily, not just packs. He needs to be good at compromising, and not devolve into any posturing that alphas might be doing in the pack. Dick's greatest strengths really lie in his emotional stability and maturity. I don't love when people automatically make him an omega because of that.

Jason - alpha. It really fits his nature to be more headstrong and brash outwardly, stereotypical alpha characteristics that are sometimes true. It also makes sense for his relationship with Bruce as the second Robin -- he'd butt heads with alpha OR omega Bruce as the first alpha in the pack if Dick was a beta. I love writing him as an omega though, as you know.

Tim - he's an interesting one. I really think he could be any dynamic, though I would generally lean more towards alpha or beta rather than omega. I read a fic recently with alpha Tim and omega Kon and it made me realize how frequently we just make him an omega and call it a day. I think a more restrained, calculating alpha makes the most sense to me. AND that means he can butt heads with Damian...

Damian - alpha. He wants to play at being pack alpha and this works even if Bruce is an alpha. Jason gets irritated but (wisely) thinks he's above a pup. Tim and Damian grate on each other instead. Damian, because he doesn't like a rival alpha's claim on Bruce (esp if he's omega) or perceived attempts to destabilize Bruce's pack (if he's an alpha). Tim doesn't like Damian because, yeah, it's like a 12 year old alpha challenging you out of the blue for a spot in the pack you've fought hard for. Easy friction. Also a great opportunity to write them teaming up and putting those discordant instincts to good use together. (Jason, Tim, and Damian all being alphas makes sense if Dick is the beta glue, Alfred is beta glue, and Bruce is the pack alpha/omega trying to keep everyone sane).

Cass - alpha or beta. I actually really like when people write her as an alpha people mistake for a beta. I know this gives Bruce a whole pack of alphas at the end of the day, but it kind of makes sense for vigilante work? Or at least it does in my head.

Steph - beta. She's Dick's backup on pack dynamics and a good balance to alpha Tim and Damian. She's more vicious than Dick and takes no shit. She butts head with Bruce more than any alpha, save Jason. She and Jason bond over this. Jason doesn't get tense around her because she's not an alpha or omega.

Alfred - beta. Truly the ultimate caregiver and healer. He is all of the beta stereotypes in one package. He's less interested in soothing Bruce's emotions than Dick is, though. He's tough love for Bruce's michegas, whether it's alpha or omega.

Duke - omega, hot take. Confident, quietly stepping into the pack dynamics and is welcomed almost instantly, and not just because he's omega. He has an entire pack of alphas behind him but doesn't rely on them for anything if he can do it himself. He bonds well with omega Bruce in my mind -- they have specialized training not just for his powers, but for those instincts no one else in the pack really has. People are drawn to him (like when he just started out gathering kids) because he embodies the omegan quality of defending the territory/pack.

[mr-leach]

Thinking about how Ulder Ravenguard was so dead set on hating his son for not being a perfect replica of himself that he refused to listen to a single thing he said. He will not even consider listening unless you, a complete fucking stranger, step in to advocate for him, and even then it's an uphill battle. No amount of love or respect Wyll has for his father is enough to grant him any sort of grace; choosing his own path was so much of a slight in Ulder's eyes that Wyll might as well not even be his own son. The only surefire way to get him to understand is to literally break into his mind and show him what happened, and once he finally sees reason what does he do?

He immediately decides on what Wyll should do with his future now that he's back in daddy's good graces. Even sends him to go and finish a quest he himself started to prove his worth. Sure, when Wyll "fails" he acts forgiving, but his attitude is still that Wyll is just a younger version on himself and should act accordingly. Well now that you've earned forgiveness, son, you can get back to business as usual, clearly... regardless of whether that's what Wyll wants for himself or not.

Like. I have a lot of thoughts about this. For one, I have to wonder if Wyll hadn't made a pact with Mizora, or had made a pact with a divine or neutral patron rather than a devil...how long would Wyll and Ulder have actually maintained a good relationship after that night? Like, Wyll has this habit of talking about his childhood and adolescence in that...barely-fond manner. You know, where the person telling stories feels like they're sharing a sweet or funny anecdote, but to everyone else it sounds... miserable. There were parts of his upbringing that he surely enjoyed, but it is deeply overshadowed by a cloud of resentment that Wyll himself barely recognizes. He loves his father, and truly respects and looks up to him, but it's evident from the stories he shares that Ulder treated him more like a student than a son. Wyll was his protege more than his progeny, it sounds like.

And the way it affects how Wyll talks about himself is heartbreaking. He puts himself down all the time, makes self deprecating jokes, or makes unhealthy predictions of what others might think of him. The only time he doesn't...is when he talks about the Blade of Frontiers. He loves the work that he does so much, he is so passionate about being right on the front lines protecting innocents and doing away with evil, and he even takes pride in his decision to make his pact with Mizora because it's that power that he uses to help people. Like gosh, even when fretting over how others might perceive his devilish form, he concludes that, if people see him as a monster, then they'll get to watch a monster fight evil and save people's lives. It sounds cheezy as fuck but oh my god. Like talk about feeling inadequate and unloved but choosing a path for yourself that you can be proud of in spite of all that.

And then, just thinking of that reuniting exchange in and of itself, and just. You can tell just how used to being shot down Wyll is, even though he really, truly wants his father to understand him. And it takes actually forcing Ravengard to witness what happened to make any progress. Many of us wish we could project exactly what we mean or feel or experience directly into the mind of someone we're trying to get through to. And still it's like he can't see past his own selfish perception of Wyll as an extension of himself. Wyll seems satisfied in the moment, but it's apparent that he's still been misunderstood despite being forgiven by his father. It sucks.

[raayllum]

Hey Raayllum. I was just curious to know as to why you believe Rayla hurt herself, considering she's been wronged and abandoned by everyone in her life. Do you think that Rayla doesn't let Callum love her? It really bothers me that nobody ever defends her besides Callum.

Like I understand, Amaya was defending her nephew, but I think she was being completely judgemental towards Rayla. I'm just saying. It was unfair.

To start I'm gonna talk about Rayla, but I wanna clarify before the read more that I don't think Amaya was being unfair at all or overly judgemental; that said, we'll work our way there.

I think Rayla struggles to do exactly what she says so in the show: she struggles to share her burdens. She struggles to let herself be vulnerable / be 'weak'. Which given "your heart wasn't hard enough to do whatever it takes" + growing up in a 'one strike and you're out' community system could not have helped the issues she already had as a young child to begin with: "I wasn't fast enough, I wasn't strong enough" (Bloodmoon Huntress).

Most of the time even when she's telling people what's wrong, it's still under the lens of "this is the price I'm paying and even though it hurts I'm totally fine with it, actually, you don't need to help me." She's not asking for solutions, she's updating them on the choices/prices she's already decided to pay.

Whether because of her own perceived mistakes, or because of other people's choices, or because there's something Much More Important than her own personal wellbeing to ever possibly prioritize, of course.

She wants / wanted to "be strong alone" (and sometimes had to be) and she has a very hard time forgiving herself / giving herself the same compassion she shows other people.

That said, we shouldn't say she's making no progress. 5x04 is the first time in the entire show she 1) seeks someone out to talk about her own problems and 2) talks about her own problems because she wants to, not just because she feels guilty, or because she's having a breakdown. That's huge, and shows she's beginning to learn to accept the grace given to her - there's just a long way to go.

She's bad at being nice to herself, too. Why should her pain, or what she puts herself through, matter? She can shoulder it alone. It's fine. Until it isn't. And, luckily, until she doesn't have to.

But again, thankfully, she's starting to improve.

With that in mind, as said, I don't think Amaya was being unfair at all. She barely knows Rayla, she's a lot closer to Callum, and she saw his heartbreak up close. Then she sees Callum and Rayla show up together, out of nowhere, when Amaya didn't even know Rayla had come back into his life. Of course she has her guard up (nor does Amaya ever say she was right to hurt Rayla back at the Banther Lodge because Rayla ended up hurting her nephew; her issues with Rayla are now completely removed from her being an elf, and she's also being hyperbolic).

Rayla did hurt Callum; she did abandon him, and she did break his heart. She had 'good reasons' for doing so, or at least good intentions. She was scared of losing him. She wanted to protect him from what she saw as her burdens. She "couldn't bear to put him in danger" just over her (because, for a lot of the reasons stated above, she doesn't think she's worth that; regardless). But she was still wrong to leave. That said, Rayla was wrong to leave not only because it hurt Callum, but also because it hurt herself, and Amaya is the first person we've seen directly acknowledge it (although Callum does so in the background that will likely be taken to the forefront in S6).

Amaya, who's had a 4 season long arc about developing more empathy and seeing herself in others ("We gain nothing if we throw away the chance to learn and grow"), is also able to recognize what's going on, because she's been through it herself. And she identifies it all for what it is: a hyper independent trauma response because of grief and fear.

R: You think I meant to hurt Callum? That's the last thing I wanted! A: You abandoned him. You broke his heart. R: I was trying to protect him! I left without him because I couldn't bear to put him in danger. I knew I had to be strong alone. A: [Sighs] You know who you sound like? R: Who?! A: Me.

R: Oh... Thanks, I think? A: When I was growing up, my big sister Sarai was the smartest, strongest, bravest person I knew. When she died, I felt lost and weak without her. I hated feeling that way, so I learned to be strong alone. Stoic, strong, and lonely. R: That... does sound like me sometimes. A: But the last two years have changed everything. Meeting Janai, falling in love. I am stronger now than I have ever been, because we are stronger together. And I realized that was the real truth of me and Sarai, too. Love and trust grow a kind of strength that is much bigger than we each possess. To have that kind of strength, it is not enough to love someone. You have to trust them to share the burdens you carry.

Amaya and Rayla once had a spat in the Banther Lodge because Rayla asserted that she was alone (which I think Rayla truly believed, anyone, running off with two boys she barely knows) and Amaya called her a liar. Now, Amaya reminds her that the choice to be strong alone is a choice, and she can make new ones; she can let trust coexist with the endurance of her love to make something that's stronger together, and Rayla takes her up on it.

Like Amaya says in 4x06, "All I ask is that your justice is compassionate." Amaya calls Rayla out, and then she offers actual help so that the pattern doesn't persist, so that she's less likely to hurt Callum in that way again. You can't fix people's emotional problems or relationships for them; you can only keep giving them chances, if you want to.

Thankfully, Callum and Rayla both want to - so they do.

[nekropsii]

Do you mind elaborating on how Dave was *sexually* abused by Bro? It's been a long while since I've read Homestuck but i hear many other creators say that that's an "absurd, chronically online" thing to say. so you specifying that that's exactly what happened morbidly piqued my interest (no pushing of course, given the gross subject matter i completely understand if this is not something you're comfortable with answering)

The idea of calling that statement "Absurd" and "Chronically Online" is baffling to me, because you'd honestly need to do significantly more mental gymnastics to say that Dave hasn't been sexually abused by Bro. It's textual, and it's a major part of Dave's intro.

Putting this under a cut, because you're entirely correct- this is a really touchy, disturbing subject matter. But it still needs to get talked about. Lucky for you, I'm perfectly okay with talking about the darker aspects of Homestuck's writing... Without filtering it through a fetishistic lens. I apologize in advance if this is more rambly than my usual essays. It's an uncomfortable series of topics that's hard to tackle for any normal person.

Let's do this.

Content Warning: Heavy Discussion of CSA, Mentions of Incest and Pedophilia.

I think where people are getting tripped up is that they hear the phrase "Child Sexual Abuse" and automatically think of the worst forms of it possible. It's an easy trap to fall into, and a pretty understandable one. The word "Abuse" is loaded, and perceived as an inherently violent, extreme action- a callous, sadistic disregard for the safety of someone who is seen as weaker, something done only by an unfeeling, inhuman monster who wishes to dominate the victim. It's a violent word, so people envision it as a violent crime.

I can't fault anyone for hearing the term "Child Sexual Abuse" being applied to two brothers with a significant age gap and instantly assuming that what's being said is that the older brother is committing absolutely heinous acts on the younger brother. That is easy to digest. That's the simplest takeaway one can get from that statement. It's a fair assumption. I can't fault anyone for assuming that the phrase "Dave was a victim of CSA under Bro's care" means that the person stating it thinks that Bro sexually assaulted Dave. I can't fault them for having the assumption that what is being said is that Bro is an incestuous pedophile. I cannot fault it for a second. It's just the easiest takeaway, and the most mentally and emotionally intense one. It's easy to digest, and easy to get mad at. Because saying that would be wrong.

Most cases of abuse are more subtle and nuanced than its most extreme cases. Sometimes abuse come in the form of Neglect. Even sexual abuse can come in the form of Neglect.

For The Record: We have no reason to assume Bro Strider ever made sexual contact with Dave, nor do we have any evidence to the idea that he even had any sexual thoughts or feelings about him. To assert that idea as fact would be fucked up. But that doesn't automatically negate the presence of sexual abuse.

What I want everyone to understand is that it is sexually abusive to constantly, wittingly expose a child to sexual material, be it websites, videos, photos, or objects. It is sexually abusive to do this, and the fact that Dave is surrounded by sexual objects and pornographic material- and has been since he was a literal baby- should absolutely concern people. The comedy of it is surface level, and a quick prod quickly reveals the abject horror of the situation.

Bro's main business appears to be in the porn industry, specifically making puppet fetish content. A parent being in the porn industry and having a fetish... Isn't inherently a bad thing. Kinks and fetishes are normal, and so is being a sex worker. If that's what you want to do, go for it. But Bro leaves his Smuppets everywhere, which are, by and large, sex toys. Whether or not they are for his own personal sexual gratification is irrelevant to the debate- if you are a parent and your business is making and selling dildos, it is still your job as a parent to hide those dildos from your kid, even if they're not for your own use.

Dave knows this. He knows that Smuppets are sex toys. Dave is very aware of the fetish porn site that Bro runs. Bro knows that Dave knows this. The sexual boundary between Bro and Dave is incredibly thin- inappropriately so for one's own young child. And Dave, the child in this situation, knows this lack of boundaries is wrong... But he's genuinely not in the right place to fully acknowledge it. He's too unsafe still, so he has to keep making excuses to try and bury his trauma.

[Homestuck, page 461.]

The thing you have to keep in mind throughout reading Dave's entire introductory segment is that "Irony" is a code word. A lot of abuse victims, when they're still too unsafe to fully acknowledge their abuse, tend to make excuses for their abuser's behavior in the form of "At Least" statements. As in, "At least they don't hit me", or "At least I can still talk to my friends". Things of that nature. "Irony" is Dave's "At Least". That's him saying "At least this is a joke", "This is creepy, but at least it's not serious", "at least he doesn't mean it".

All of this Smuppet stuff is creepy, and Dave wishes Bro would stop. He wishes he'd put his puppet sex toys away, wishes he'd stop tormenting him every waking moment of his life, wishes he'd stop forcing him to fight. He wishes he wasn't trapped in an apartment that feels like hell, and he wishes he didn't have to hide any drinks and food he could get his hands on in the closet to get any chance at sustaining his own life and body. He wishes he was a normal kid in a normal home with a parent that loves him, just like his friends.

But hey, it's all ironic. At least Bro doesn't mean it, right?

It all stops being abuse when you declare it to be a prank, right?

It's fine, guys.

[Homestuck, page 467.]

Totally fine.

[princessjojo-x]

Pisces Mars

💝 he’s easily overwhelmed with a sensitive temperament so he acts withdrawn at times. consequently, he’s often perceived as mysterious or detached.

💝 he’s prone to being used & dominated by others. after being repeatedly treated like a door mat, he conclusively develops a victim/inferiority complex & he eventually creates protective mechanisms that push others away.

💝 this placement produces feminine energy so he’s naturally passive & submissive. however, he desperately wants to disguise that so he overcompensates extensively. he’ll attempt to achieve a dominating position & constantly compete with other men. he’s trying to prove his masculinity to avoid being perceived as weak. he shields himself behind an ‘alpha male’ facade but this ‘dominant’ image clashes with his default nature. i think this placement is the essence of ‘small man syndrome’ & an example of someone with it is andrew tate.

💝 swimming away is his most commonly used strategy when unpleasant situations occur, including disputes & drama. if you confront him he’ll posses an unbothered & calm attitude. he perceives arguing as pointless & he has trouble asserting himself. the worst thing you can do to him is drag him into a situation or blame him for something which he has nothing to do with.

💝 if he has a problem with you he’ll talk abt it with everyone but you. additionally, he’ll either go full ghost mode or put on a smile for show. you should only expect a reaction from him if it’s abt something very important to him.

💝 he doesn’t feel any urgency to resolve a conflict right away but he does tend to forgive & forget easily. sometimes he uses forgiveness performatively & stages it in a calculated way. this is his attempt to float above the situation at hand.

💝 he can be slightly blurry & hard to read. he goes back on his words a lot mainly to please others. consequently, others never really understood what the purpose of his actions are.

💝 if he’s attracted to someone he’ll dream & fantasise abt them daily but be reluctant to make the first move. even if he literally loves someone, he may still leave them be, bc he’s afraid of how much he feels for them. amongst all the mars signs, he is the most willing to discard, give up & let go. if you haven’t already noticed he’s a major escapist in all areas of life!

💝 he’s so gentle & attentive in bed whether it’s the 1st or 100th time with him. the way he touches & kisses you will make you think he actually has feelings for you. he doesn’t want to hurt you in bed, unless you ask, which just show how submissive he truly is.

💝 it takes a while for him to move on & get over things bc he is a dreamer & will daydream abt things often.

💝 he goes with the flow, believes in blessings in disguise & thinks that everything will eventually work out.

💝 he doesn’t like you if he’s not spending all of his time & energy on you.

💝 he may have hypnotising eyes or a high/tired look to him.

💝 he can struggle with misplaced anger that comes out at random times that he’s held in for decades.

Turn On’s:

💝 even though pisces venus are attracted 'girly girls' & feminine energy, pisces mars prefer a gothic, curvy, aggressive & older woman. also, he’s most attracted to women that are not well known or hide in the shadows.

💝 sexually, he yearns for a deep soul connection that transcends the physical realm & he wants to be completely consumed when having sex. he perceives lovemaking as a spiritual experience that intertwines two souls together.

💝 pleasing, pleasuring & satisfying his partner turns him on. he’ll adapt to whatever his partner wants him to be.

💝 he loves watery settings & themes (shower sex/oil massage/wet coochie)

💝 he likes gentle touches, passionate kisses, tender affection, gentle whispers & soulful gazes.

💝 other possible turn on’s are tag-teaming, anal, strangers & cuckolding (meaning: his wife sleeping with another man). plus, the feet are his erogenous zones!

💝 water mars love positions where they can see their partners face.

Turn Off’s:

💝 he tends to put a lot of importance into aftercare & not receiving it can straight up ruin the experience for him.

💝 he dislikes partners who are too demanding & insensitive so ensure to not make fun of him.

[qqueenofhades]

Once you get offline, Biden’s doing ok with everyone but Republicans and racists. Unfortunately, that’s a pretty big voting bloc, but it should be manageable. More unfortunately, Harris is. Not popular. With anyone. Like, we’re talking Dan “To not have a mind is being very wasteful” Quayle levels of dissing. You can blame some of it on sexism and racism, but enough women and people of color have jumped on the “Kamala’s letting The Team down” bandwagon that there’s got to be more to it than this. Any thoughts?

Yeah, uh, I don't think that's fair OR accurate, and deserves quite a bit more reflection and pushback than is implied here (since your question frames it as thinking there MUST be something wrong with her and invites me to expand on it). First off, I am not comfortable comparing the first female vice president (AND female VP of color) to empty suit Dan Quayle, and especially when there's such a disparity in their background, social perception, and accomplishments, not to mention their role in the administration. So:

"You can blame some of it on sexism and racism, but -- " Okay, but how much? Are we actually assigning a weight to that and taking it into consideration, or hand-waving it aside in search of the "real" cause? Online Leftists are already disposed to irrationally dislike Kamala because of the "she's a cop!!!" business that went around during the primaries, which was likewise inaccurate and misleading, but showed how women, especially women of color, are often treated in white leftist spaces (including by leftist-identifying women). That very much WAS down to sexism, racism, and perceiving her as "shrill" or "there's just something I don't like about her." Okay, what is that? WHAT is the thing you don't like about her? Would you notice it in a male politician? Would you critique it in a male politician? If the answer is any part unclear, this needs more work and is in fact reflective of that dynamic, whether or not anyone is aware of it or thinks that's the reason why.

No, seriously. If someone professes that they "just don't like" Kamala or "there's something about her that rubs me the wrong way" or whatever else, my immediate next question would be "Why? What don't you like about her?" And keep drilling down through whatever excuses about "unlikeability" or "personality" or whatever else is offered. If this can be persuasively articulated in a way that a) exposes a substantive policy reason, b) can be differentiated from what any male vice president or other person in her position would do or what should be expected of them, and c) isn't just about "offputting vibes," then sure, we can have a discussion about that. Otherwise, yeah. That's not convincing me that it's anything other than the constant, long-running, ever-present discomfort with seeing a powerful and accomplished woman of color, who started her career prosecuting sex criminals, was the first Black woman in the Senate, and is now the first female vice president, actually state her issues and own her role.

"Enough women and people of color have jumped on the 'Kamala Is Letting the Team Down' bandwagon that there must be -- " Really? Must there? First of all, it's damn near impossible to find any Online Leftist who's willing to give Biden accurate credit for his accomplishments -- see the "Biden is bad and uninspiring and anti-trans but we should I guess vote for him anyway" rhetoric which is the closest they can possibly get to acknowledging it. (None of which is actually true!) When that's the case with the top of the ticket, it's orders of magnitude easier to project that irrational dislike and distortion onto "shrill" or "dislikable" Kamala. So who are these "women and people of color" who don't like Kamala? Are they in the room with us right now? Do they actually care about/vote for the Democrats, support their policy accomplishments, and realistically understand the progress that's been made and what remains to be done, or do they want to use Kamala as yet another convenient stick to beat the Democrats (since they won't give them accurate credit to start with?)

Even if this was true, sexism and racism somehow magically wasn't a factor (which uh, it is not) and Kamala had some terrible personality defect that was unique to her and her alone and not any of the far worse vice presidents there have been in the last 20 years alone: what is this kind of question intended to accomplish? Are we supposed to fear that by voting for Biden, we might vote for Kamala as well? Well, she was on the ticket last time too, and they won the election. Don't know what else to tell you.

[sparkles-rule-4eva]

"The Darkness Within" PART 1 (Sonic X - Dark Sonic)

(Sonic's POV)

The faint sound of his friends' laughter and voices echoed in Sonic's ears even as he stood at the very edge of the Typhoon, a frown twisted across his face as he stared unseeing at the stars.

He hadn't felt such shame in a long time.

Normally, he did whatever he pleased without a care of what anyone thought. He did what he believed was right whether it was perceived that way or not.

So it was safe to say that the events of the attempted rescue of Chris and Cosmo had left him a little . . . shaken.

He couldn't believe the way he'd lost control.

Never before had he felt so intensely angry. Sure, he'd had a right to, his friends were hurt and the Metarex creep was threatening to experiment on them if he refused to let them do the same to him. Sure, he'd felt a little off since he'd discovered the hoards upon hoards of fake chaos emeralds.

And then— what?! He hadn't been able to think straight. His vision had nearly turned red with how furious he'd been. All he could feel was white-hot anger. He remembered hearing himself laugh like some kind of psychopath. He remembered tearing into the Silver and Gold Metarex that were meant to test him, he remembered slicing them to bits at lightspeed and feeling not an ounce of remorse as their armor exploded and they were killed.

And the next thing he'd known, Eggman of all people was scolding him and telling him to calm down.

It had taken him a hot minute to relax. Hearing that Shadow had rescued his friends while he'd been . . . like that, had startled him in the worst way.

Now they were all back, safe and sound. Cosmo and Chris were alright. Everyone on the other side of the ship was celebrating, believing the day was a victory.

In a way, he supposed, they were right.

But Sonic could not relax. He couldn't bring himself to join them, he couldn't even bring himself to smile as he stood alone on the opposite side of the ship, staring at nothing and thinking of everything.

His mind wouldn't shut up, and he didn't have enough space to run on the Typhoon. He was stuck.

What if it happens again?

It won't. I won't let it.

I don't know that, I had no idea this morning that it would happen today.

Now that I know, I'll make sure it never happens again.

Today was just proof that I don't have it as together as I thought I did.

They don't know. No one else here knows. No one knows but Eggman.

Would they be scared if they knew? If they SAW me like that?

Don't worry about it. Just keep going. Don't look back. I never look back.

But usually that doesn't have anything to do with something I did wrong.

Do I apologize somehow? Should I leave? Take some time to myself? How much time? They need me to help them fight the Metarex.

I can't leave, but I sure want to.

I just wish—

"Hey, Sonic! You doing okay?"

He jerked his head around to see Tails slowly approaching his perch, blue eyes wide and curious. Glimmering with just a hint of concern.

Sonic sat down in place and nodded curtly, his voice stuck in his throat. He'd been talking a lot more nowadays than he used to, trying to get better at communicating with people and making friends, but some days it was still hard.

Apparently today was one of those days.

And Tails could see right through him.

His face fell. "Something happened, didn't it?"

Sonic avoided his eyes, choosing instead to stare intensely at the floor in front of him as if it was a work of art.

Slowly, cautiously, Tails moved closer and sat a couple feet away. Sonic could still feel his little brother's eyes on him, but he refused to make eye contact. He wasn't sure he'd be able to handle it.

"Did you get hurt . . . ?" Tails sounded doubtful yet worried.

Sonic shook his head.

"Did the Metarex say something that bothered you?"

Another wordless head shake.

Tails didn't ask anything else for about a minute, choosing instead to let them both sit in thoughtful silence and allow Sonic to try and pull himself together.

I can't tell him. There's no way.

I can't tell him . . . all of it.

Sonic swallowed, lifting his chin and finally daring to meet Tails's questioning eyes. He opened his mouth, but could not bring himself to make a sound.

Tails bit his lip, then lifted his hands and signed, "I'm here."

Sonic nodded with a small, grateful smile, then, after a hesitation, signed back, "Something happened. I did something."

Tails tilted his head slightly, and even though he could've just spoken his response, he continued signing. "What did you do?"

There was no fear or aggression in his hand movements or expression. Just genuine, gentle curiosity.

Sonic closed his eyes for a moment, that awful feeling of shame washing over him all over again. "Something bad. I caused harm. I didn't mean to."

Tails smiled gently. "You didn't mean to. You didn't harm our friends, right?"

Sonic exhaled silently through his nose. "No. I hurt the bad guys." He didn't think there was a sign for "Metarex," but if there was, he didn't know it.

A flicker of confusion appeared in his little brother's eyes. "You stop the bad guys all the time."

He fidgeted uncomfortably, then signed, "It was different. Can't explain. I was wrong."

Tails paused for a long moment after those shaky signs from Sonic, looking thoughtfully at the sky.

"It's okay," he signed back eventually. "I know your heart is in the right place. Whatever you did, you wouldn't be feeling so bad if it wasn't in the right place."

Sonic blinked. He fidgeted a little more, then quickly signed, "Thank you."

The fox kit smiled and nodded. "You're welcome. I'm here for you." Then, without waiting for a response, he stood up and extended a hand out to Sonic.

Sonic initially thought Tails was going to bring him back to the group, but then remembered that his brother knew him better than that. So he accepted the little hand reaching for him and stood as well, then followed the fox kit downstairs inside the ship.

Tails brought him to his bedroom on the ship, gestured for him to wait there, then left. For a few minutes, Sonic sat alone, fingering the cool sheets and looking around the room, anything to avoid thinking too much again.

After those few minutes, Tails returned with a steaming mug of tea, which he carefully handed to Sonic. "Take your time," he signed, smiling sweetly. "This will help you sleep."

Sonic managed a small, regretful smile. "Thank you," he signed again.

Tails nodded, patted his hands in reassurance, and left the room.

Sonic paused for a long moment, then sat back on his bed and sipped his tea. He recognized the flavor as the same kind Tails himself used on bad nights, the ones with nightmares and thunderstorms.

He took a deep breath. Over the course of the next hour, he finished his tea over a good book. He listened to his friends' voices wind down outside on the deck.

And eventually, he slept.

AO3 version

[joys-of-everyday]

On the fifty shades of morally grey

So quick thoughts on how MXTX writes morally grey.

Sorry, I mean, excessively long meta post on how MXTX writes morally grey. Light spoilers for all three books.

A gazillion caveats to begin with. Firstly, I don’t want to argue about whether character x is morally good, bad, grey, pink or whatever. In my books, arguing about whether someone is or is not morally grey is like arguing whether a colour is green, blue, teal, or turquoise – we’re arguing definitions. To add to that, I’m not saying that concepts like ‘this person is overall good’ doesn’t exist, but I would posit that a morally unquestionable person does not exist. Secondly, I also don’t want to pass moral judgements on any of the characters. That’s for a different post. I strictly want to focus on the storytelling techniques that make the reader think ‘hang on a second, are they good or bad?’. Thirdly, this whole post is mainly based on How Arcane Writes MORAL AMBIGUITY (9 Methods, 4 Rules) - YouTube. Great video, great channel (no knowledge of Arcane required). Would recommend if you are interested in story writing techniques!

1) The information gap and the poor narrator

Best example is Shen Jiu from SVSSS. We barely know anything about Shen Jiu. Almost everything we know is from SQQ’s notoriously unreliable perspective, so we’re left to fill in the gaps ourselves. Depending on exactly how those gaps are filled, you can get two completely different people. E.g. Did he have designs of NYY, or was he just ridiculously misunderstood? Who knows! We’re never told. Even if we were told, we should doubt it because it’s SQQ telling us.

2) 4D characterisation

Schnee’s video goes into this in more details, but this is where you build two narratives on top of one another. Best example is Jin Guangyao from MDZS. Is he an underdog who did what he could out of his situation and tried his best to be a better person working for the good of the common people? Or is he a selfish, manipulative, ambitious snake who at every stage pretends to be good in order to win the favour of those around him? The point is that both narratives make sense in the story. There are moments that lean more one way or another, but you can never quite pin him down completely.

3) Moments of weakness

Best example is Xie Lian from TGCF. On the whole, XL is a wonderful human being who you 100% want to root for. Except… there was that one time he made a mistake. He let his hurt and pain overcome him; he became hurtful himself. The point here is to add in just a few ‘moments’ which fundamentally impacts how the rest of the world perceives them from that point forwards. They are forever trying to redeem themselves, forever weighed down by what is a tiny proportion of their life. The underlying question is ‘is a moment of weakness a moral failure?’

Another good example is Qi Rong from TGCF. On the whole, he’s a piece of s***. But then there are moments when he’s a genuinely good father to Guzi, and that’s confusing.

4) Well-intentioned idiot

Trying to do the right thing and absolutely failing. Best example is Wei Wuxian from MDZS. His intentions are always good. There are extremely few moments where he is selfish or overly cruel. He is always fighting for justice, always self-sacrificing, always kind. And yet the outcome of his actions is pretty bad. The underlying question is ‘should you judge a person based on their intent, or on the consequences of their actions?’

(btw the name of the method is from schnee’s video. No shade on WWX. He is very smart… well, unless it comes to LWJ’s feelings.)

5) Excuses

Yes, they’re bad. But we feel sorry for them! Almost everyone fits into this boat, because doesn’t MXTX love trauma dumping? As one example, let’s look at Jiang Cheng from MDZS. JC’s behaviour towards WWX is pretty bad on its own. But given the context of his childhood being compared to him, of having his self-esteem brutally crushed by both parents? Knowing how much he’s done and sacrificed for him, how much he truly cared for him as family? It hits different.

A small point: ‘excuses aren’t enough’ we say a lot (and I agree, to an extent). But compare, for example, Jin Guangshan vs Xue Yang. JGS seems to be a power-hungry asshole for absolutely no reason. On the other hand, put XY in different circumstances and we feel like he might have been a better person. Just as food for thought, there was a Japanese monk Honen (1133-1212) who said: ‘The good person can reach the Pure Land, so of course the evil person can as well’. The point being that the people who struggle with anger and hate because of their circumstances are most in need of salvation.

6) World building and presenting hard questions

What is acceptable sacrifice in war?

Is it okay to make a super dangerous weapon for the sake of deterrence?

How much personal responsibility does someone hold for a lifetime of circumstances pushing them towards a morally questionable path?

What are the responsibilities of a leader – to do what is right, or to do what is best for their people?

The world of MDZS is imperfect. It’s full of horrors and disasters, as well as a mob of outsiders all trying to impart their opinions despite knowing little about the situation. An imperfect world presents unanswerable questions. We see the characters struggle with these questions, come to decisions, and make mistakes, all naturally arising within the complex world that’s been presented. 

TGCF does this most explicitly. We literally have Kemo and Pei Xiu arguing about the ethics of war and XL concluding that it’s a Hard Question. In fact, every backstory of every Heavenly Official presents a new Hard Question. I don’t know if I like this method over the more subtle style of MDZS, but I have Thoughts about the storytelling styles of both (long story short, I love them both for different reasons).

7) Worlds are colliding

A slightly complicated method that takes a huge amount of set up. To summarise, set up two arcs that we the reader both feel invested in. Then set up a point where the ‘good’ outcome of one is the ‘bad’ outcome of another. For MDZS, we have 1) JC and WWX’s brotherhood arc. 2) WWX standing up for justice arc. They’re both merrily developing all the way through the conflict with the Wens… right until the moment WWX has to make a choice: stand up for justice and leave JC behind, or to fulfil his promises to JC and turn a blind eye to the injustices against the Wens. The decision is a lose-lose scenario because of the way these arcs have been set up.

8) Spectrums, Spectrums, we love Spectrums

Gongyi Xiao is a cinnamon roll. As is Wen Ning and Quan Yizhen. Meanwhile, the Old Palace Master? Literally no redeeming qualities. Wen Chao? Absolute scum. Then there’s everyone lying somewhere in between. We like Lan Wangji more than JC (I think that seems to be the case for most people?) but we certainly like JC more than JGS. Having a spectrum of morality is important because it gives us reference points to contrast and compare. It also emphasises the moral greyness of everything, because sure, Mu Qing isn’t a noodle like Shi Qingxuan, but is he worse than White No Face?

9) Spectrums aren’t enough – adding depth

Almost all of WWX’s moral ambiguity comes from the fact he has hard decisions to make. And for each of these decisions, the outcome is murky. He developed a new technique to fight against the Wens, but at what cost later down the line? He defended the Wens and gave them a few years of life, but was it worth it?

Compare with JGY. JGY does a lot of good. He also does a lot of bad. The magnitude of both lists is ridiculous. Sure, you wouldn’t usually find someone who’s killed most of their family members in any way likable, but how often do you come across someone who literally ended a war?

So one way of creating moral ambiguity is to make each decision difficult, but another way to go about it is to just… make them do loads of things. Like loads of things. Good things, bad things, all the in between things. Judging each thing is not that hard, but then trying to judge the overall person based on it is extremely difficult.

10) Pulling from the real world

Often, moral questions in fiction is hard because (surprise, surprise) moral questions are just hard full stop. Idk enough Chinese history and culture to accurately pin down all of MXTX’s references, but things like stupid misunderstands leading to conflict, poverty and inequality, less than ideal family situations, the horrors of war… these are all things that happen irl. No matter how fantastical the setting, grounding moral conflicts in reality makes us feel more emotional and invested.

Anyway, I hope that was an enjoyable rundown! This is an imperfect list, so comments, criticisms, suggestions greatly appreciated!