#i just saw tf one and im about to make it my entire personality

[chrissv4mp]

- I COULD CHANGE YOUR LIFE —

chap 3 , come visit me in jail — | — ...back — | — next...

summary: the morning after you and chris bond, he just seems to fall deeper in love with you and your amazing personality. he falls so deep that when he sees a negative comment on your recent instagram post, he feels he has no choice but to do something about it.

pairing: stalker!chris × singer!reader

warnings + topics: cursing, stalking, weapons, murder, blood, obsessive behavior, breaking & entering, crying, chris is crazy, choking, drowning, etc. DO NOT READ IF YOU ARE SENSITIVE TO THESE TOPICS.

author's note: here's where it starts to get intense.....👀

author's note 2: series title mention in this one has me floating🗣🗣

word count: 6.6k

"bet i could change your life."

y/nwhosthat

liked by nicolassturniolo, oliviarodrigo and others

y/nwhosthat you're never gonna believe it

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mysteriousman no tag in the first photo i see....

-> y/nwhosthat didn't even know there were tags on this app??

-> y/nsonlylove says the girl who uses them in every single one of her posts🙁 u got them searching for answers now

hearts4chrissy i know my man's hands when i see them chris honey come home💔

latinosfory/n they are reaching omg😭

matthew.sturniolo all these rumors and im still focused on the frank ocean lyrics��‍♂️

-> y/nwhosthat everyone should be focused on his inspiring lyrics

-> wishingherwell MATT???

theyenvy.michael ugly ass girl tf get off this app👎

chris feels a sudden anger wash over him as he reads the most recent comment on y/n's post, and his hand wraps even tighter around his phone before he clicks on the guy's profile.

he's 20, and he's also in boston. chris scrolls down, cringing at his weird objectifying comment in his bio, "ho's are only useful in the kitchen, i stand by my statement🤷‍♂️"

fucking douchebag, chris thinks as he scrolls down on his page. he clicks on michael's recent post and is met with a mirror picture of the boy in his messy bedroom. there's posters of half-naked girls and polaroids of him and his friends on the white walls behind him.

he scrolls left, and there's a video. chris doesn't even need to watch it because when he sees the first frame, he already knows he might lose it. the first frame shows off michaels blurry foot only inches away from a small puppy on the side of the road. the brunette feels sick already. how many red flags did this guy have?

another scroll and chris finds himself looking at a blurred picture of michael and his friend hugging. only one normal photo in this entire dump. chris doesn't even want to scroll down further on his page.

as he turns off his phone and throws it to the side, his free hand clenches into a fist. chris has never felt this angry before, and just the thought of michaels comment makes him even angrier.

before getting up, he grabs his phone. he runs up the stairs, heading straight for nicks room as he barges in. he stands at the doorway and watches as his brother jumps in shock.

his hair is still messy, not having time to do it before chris came in, "chris, what the fuck!"

"oh my god, you almost gave me a heart attack. fuck you," the older boy grumbles before walking over to his bed and sitting at the edge, "what'd you need?"

nick's tone is softer now, and he pats the side of his bed in a motion for chris to come over and sit. chris does just that, taking a few deep breaths before he throws himself back against his brothers bed.

"i don't know. i wanted to ask if you've ever felt so angry that you just wanna destroy everything around you." chris sighs, propping himself up on his elbows to look at the dark-haired boy beside him.

he just laughs softly, nodding, "yeah, almost always. why, what's going on?" there's a subtle look of concern on his face, and chris frowns.

chris shrugs, eyes trailing off to look at the wall across from him, "i was... reading comments, and i saw one that infuriated me like nothing did before. and, nick, i know you've told me not to let 'em get to me, but..." he takes his lower lip between his teeth, "this time it was on a loved-ones post, and i can't control it anymore."

nick frowns, his concern rising as his eyes meet his brothers, "okay. just talk to me, i don't want you doing anything... bad this time. remember what matt and i have told you to do when you feel that way. take deep breaths, yeah?"

chris' eyes widen at his brother's first words, his chest feeling tighter as he suddenly finds it harder to breathe. his mind wanders back to that night.

"hey!" a man's voice is heard from behind chris and his brothers, and the younger boy is the first to turn. he recognizes that voice, and it only ticks him off further.

chris waves his hand, a small gesture that even makes him cringe. why was he wasting his energy on this dick? the guy doesn't wave back, only scoffing as he stomps in chris' direction.

"what's up?" there's a faux look of happiness on the brunettes face as he steps forward, now right in front of the much taller guy, "c'mon, talk that shit you were spitting all over madi's posts, you weren't scared when you posted it."

the brown-eyed man laughs, tilting his head as he squints his eyes at chris, "i'm not scared now, either. the fuck? i said she was a dumb bitch who can't even—"

chris doesn't even let him finish, his head filling with so many thoughts he couldn't even comprehend. his entire body felt hot, like he was on fire. the one thought that was screaming out to him finally pushed it's way in front, kill him.

he lands the first hit on the guys cheek, and it's not soft. he doesn't stop either, his free hand coming up to punch the man in the stomach. his motions are quick, and he doesn't give the man time to think before punching him right in the nose.

the blond stumbles back, coughing as his nose leaks red down to his lip. his head turns back up, looking right as chris before he stomps up to him and swings right at his face.

nick gasps as he watches chris fall to the ground, his lip and nose already bleeding red. matt comes up to the guy, standing between his brother and the infuriated man in front of him, "hey, hey, let's calm down, yeah? this was a misunderstanding."

"misunderstanding? no, i don't think it is. i know what i said, and i'm not gonna take it back. who even are you, you look like a fuckin' mamas boy."

matt inhales sharply, looking back up at the man before he begins to speak again, "listen, we don't want this to get any more violent than it's already become. let's just talk about it?"

the taller man laughs, wiping his bloodied nose with the back of his hand as he looks down at matt, "nah, you're little boyfriend over there can speak for himself. wait, he can't, can he? pussy ass bitch."

chris groans as he stands to his feet, nick hurrying to grab him before he does anything worse and possibly get sent to the hospital.

matt only sighs, his skin starting to crawl slightly at the man's words, "we're not doing this, sir. my brother didn't mean anything, and we're sorry, okay? let's just leave it at that."

he feels himself get pushed back, and only then does he look up at the brown-eyed boy.

"matt, let's go." nick calls from behind him, eyes moving to the beaten-up guy in front of his two brothers, "we're leaving, it's over now!" he yells to the guy, dragging chris by his shoulders in the opposite direction.

chris struggles against his older brothers grip, and when he digs his nails into nicks skin, he finally lets go. matt is pushed out of the way as chris lunges toward the man.

his hands go for his neck, squeezing tightly as they both stumble to the ground. chris' fall is shielded by the body under him, but the older man's fall isn't. chris doesn't hear the crack as they fall to the floor, his head pounding so loudly he can barely even hear his brothers screaming at him to stop.

but he doesn't, tears brimming in his eyes as he remembers the look on his best friends face as she showed him. chris never wanted madi to feel that way ever again, and he was gonna make sure she never did.

"chris, get the fuck off of him!" matt almost screams, his voice low as to not alert anybody around the area.

nick stands there in shock, the empty parking lot now feeling much bigger than it was. he felt like if he ran he would never be able to escape.

chris sobs as matt drags his weak body off the unconscious guy, holding his brother in his arms as they fall to the floor softly. matts grip is tight on his younger brothers waist as he holds him close, his eyes wide in fear as he watches blood pool around the blonds head.

"fuck. i'm sorry, matt," chris doesn't know what else to say, he doesn't even know why he's apologizing to his brother, "'m sorry, i—i didn't mean to.."

matt drowns out the sound of nick gagging behind him as he tries to reassure the brunette in his arms, shushing his softly as he looks around for any passerby who maybe saw what happened.

nick is hunched over, his back facing both of his brothers as he throws up. this wasn't the type of night he was expecting, and it sure as hell was the one he's experienced, "oh my god, chris."

"did you fucking kill him..?" nick gags again at the thought, not even being able to turn around to look at the body.

"chris." the brunette jumps at the sudden voice, his eyes snapping towards his brother as he finally comes back to reality, "were you listening? i said that—"

"yeah, yeah. i was... listening." chris smiles sweetly before jumping off the bed and going to leave, "thanks, nick. seriously."

the taller boy smiles, and chris gives him an awkward wave before closing the door and making his way down the stairs.

his fingers run across the handrail as he descends down the stairs, the smooth texture soothing him in the slightest but then being taken away as he turns the corner to the kitchen.

eating would get his mind off things. plus, he hasn't eaten since lunch yesterday, going straight to bed after he got home from y/ns house. he felt like he had the world in his hands and he didn't want anybody to ruin that, so he just slept.

sleeping always made him feel better, more energized, and somehow even happier. but when he woke up and had to face the real world, he just felt weaker, smaller. he felt like all eyes were on him and everybody around him was judging him.

as chris reaches for a cabinet, his phone buzzes in his back pocket. great, just what he needed. grabbing it, he unlocks it with his face and then swipes down for his notifications. his face lights up, and his lips curve into a smile as he sees y/ns username at the top.

he quickly taps on the text, holding the device with both hands as he leans against the corner of the counter, now too focused on his phone to even remember what he came in here to do.

chris' demeanor changes quickly at the new information that michael is y/ns ex-boyfriend. he hasn't let her go, and that was gonna be a huge obstacle in his plan.

he'd need to get rid of him, and he'd need to do it quickly. they always sooner than later, right? it's better to get the job done first than to set it aside and maybe even forget about the task.

chris also wasn't interested in seeing michaels comments on y/ns posts any longer. sure, this was the first time he's seen them, but the boy definitely wasn't gonna stop and chris never wanted to see that fucking profile picture again.

so, that's how he found himself running down the second flight of stairs and down the hallway to his room. he knew what he needed, he thought about this entire thing before he'd even met michael. he was planning on using this for jamie, but then he wouldn't be able to hear your beautiful voice for way longer.

michael was the perfect victim as well. he wasn't well known, and he sure as hell wasn't a likable person, so who would miss him or even notice his sudden disappearance? fuck, even chris wouldn't and he was gonna be the one doing the job.

the door to his room swung open, and chris immediately headed for his walk-in closet, shutting the door as to make sure no one would see him. he couldn't have his brothers knowing, they'd probably put him in a mental institution this time.

chris turned around, back facing the door as he moved his shirts, spreading them apart to reveal the small shelf behind the clothing articles. there was another black box, but this time it was wooden and a little bigger than the one he kept for y/n.

he wasn't careful when opening the box, throwing the lid behind him and hearing the small thud as it landed on the carpet. he reached into the box, pulling out a safety pin to unlock the doors. the last thing he pulled out was a lengthy knife, the handle fitting perfectly in his grip.

chris didn't know anything about actual murderers, but he definitely got a good knife to do the job. maybe he wouldn't even have to use it, he didn't really want to, either. he wanted his hands around that boys neck while he begged for chris to take mercy on him.

he wanted to see tears brimming in his eyes as the life was being squeezed out of him, slowly. chris knew that he wanted michael to have a slow death, a painful one, and suffocating was definitely up on his list.

before rearranging his closet again, chris placed the lid back on and grabbed his items. he took his backpack as well, storing the 2 small items in there along with some binders to cover them up. he was sure someone would recognize him out here, and he wasn't gonna risk anything.

he slipped on a dark grey hoodie along with a black jacket, finishing off the outfit with some black jeans and a pair of black air forces. it was a sketchy outfit, but who cared? chris was breaking into someone's house. he didn't need to be stylish right now.

all that was on his mind was michael and the many options of how he could do this. chris paced back and forth in the empty space of his room, rubbing his temples in an effort to soothe the growing headache that he was facing. his mind was screaming with every possible thought imaginable, some of them telling him to back out and others telling him to man up and stop being a pussy.

chris would hold off a little longer, though. it was still bright out and he wasn't gonna do this in the daylight, he wasn't that uneducated in things like this. he'd watched some serial killer documentaries, so he'd say he knew... stuff.

it was 2:55 when he stopped thinking about the entire thing, his head going elsewhere as hunger overcame him. now he remembered what he was in the kitchen for earlier, a snack.

as chris walks up the stairs, he sees matt leaning against the kitchen counter on his phone. there's a smirk on his face as he chuckles softly at whatever he was watching.

the microwave is on, the buzz being the only sound other than matts quiet breathing and chris' footsteps entering the kitchen. he's still dressed in his black outfit, and matt puts his phone to the side just to look his brother up and down.

"are you on your way to a funeral or..?" matt questioned with a smile on his face, cocking an eyebrow at chris as he finally stepped foot into the kitchen. the first thing he did was grab a pepsi, setting it on the dining table before leaning down to open the freezer.

"no, just decided to wear whatever i first saw. i'm going out with sam tonight, so i probably won't be back until late." chris hums as he pulls out a mini pizza before walking over to where matt is standing.

matt moves over slightly, looking up to check the timer on the microwave only to see it's been just a few seconds. he groans as his head turns back to chris, watching as he takes the frozen pizza out of the box and sets it on a metal pan.

he preheats the oven and then lets the pizza sit on the stove as he goes over to sit at the table. matt joins him soon after, deciding to chat with his brother to pass the time.

"where are you goin'?" the older brunette asks, picking at the hang nails that stood out on his fingers. he winced as he pulled one off, shaking his hand by his side in an effort to stop the pain.

chris looks over at his brother, emotion unreadable as he stares at his brother with nothing behind his eyes, "oh. we're gonna.. meet up with this guy. he says he's got somethin' to show us."

matt nods, confusion washing over him as he sees chris' dilated pupils. it couldn't be the lighting, they just replaced the bulbs and it wasn't even dark yet. what was he thinking about?

"cool...? just be safe, i don't want anything bad happening to you." matt huffs, patting his brothers shoulder before getting up to check on his food.

chris turns in his seat, watching as matt stops the microwave and takes out his bowl of ramen, "i'm always safe, don't worry about me, matt. we're the same age, and you treat me like a baby."

matt raises both of his eyebrows in an exasperated manner, grabbing a fork out of a cabinet as he blows on the steaming bowl, "yeah, i wonder why."

chris laughs, "fuck off, matt." his brother chuckles as he walks past chris and back up the stairs to his room, leaving chris alone with his thoughts. again.

the brunette made a quiet beat on the table, tapping it and nodding his head as he recreated the beat to one of his favorite songs. once the oven beeped, chris got up and placed the metal tray into the oven and set a timer.

chris went to sit back down, stopping when he felt his phone buzz in his pocket again. this time, it wasn't a text from y/n, but a dm from her ex. michael.

theyenvy.michael — the fuck is you trying to steal my girl for?

you — im not? y/n is just my friend, kid. also aren't u her ex? ong ur trying too hard

theyenvy.michael — nah, she's my bitch fr. stay tf away from her, aight?

you — right. bcuz she's totally okay with u calling her a bitch. get tf off my dick....

you — she fr dodged a bullet when breaking up w you. ur profile is not it.

theyenvy.michael — ur not bouta dodge my bullet👎 watch out bro

chris scoffed, cracking open the lid of his pepsi as he took a sip. who did this kid think he was? chris wasn't scared of him. if anything, michael should be afraid. he should be terrified of what's about to happen tonight.

but he's not gonna be because he's not gonna know. chris loved taking people by surprise, jumping out at the perfect moment, and having a good laugh about it. only tonight, chris would be the only one laughing. chris would be the only one still alive to laugh.

the brunette glanced at the time again, 3:20. he didn't want to wait but he had to, nobody could see him. if anybody did, he would be the main suspect in the murder. chris couldn't even have a single thing that would point at him. chris couldn't even have y/—

"chris!" nick's voice breaks chris out of his trance, his head snapping towards the staircase that nick basically flies down, "oh my gosh, you're never gonna believe me!"

the brunettes eyes widen in terror, his mind racing with endless ideas as he looks to his brother for answers, the same expression on his face, "what? nick, what happened?!"

nick squealed, gripping onto chris' shoulders as he shook him violently, "there's a track on y/ns new album featuring melanie!"

chris' face drops, and he almost shoves his brother to the floor as he stands to his feet, "you are by far the worst person to announce news ever." he scowls, turning around to check on his mini pizza.

"come on, it's huge news! i seriously didn't know that y/n and melanie knew each other and oh my gosh! the song title just makes me even more excited—" nick trails off as he stares at chris, who is taking the metal tray out of the oven and placing it on the stove.

"and you're not listening." nick frowns, and chris parts his lips to speak.

"oh, no, i am. i just don't find this topic interesting, seeing as you're the only person in this house who cares about melanie martinez." chris shrugs, and nick raises an eyebrow at the boy as he leans against the dining table.

"what's up your your ass? you were just all happy-go-lucky, and now you're acting like a dick. did someone say something or...?" nick asks, head tilting in confusion as he watches chris transfer his pizza to a paper plate.

the younger brunette sighs, letting his shoulders relax as he shuts his eyes softly, "sorry. i'm just stressed, there's a bunch of things on my mind right now."

"like what?" nick pushes quietly, taking chris' previous seat the table.

chris stays silent, eyes opening again as he holds his breath. once his face begins to turn red, he speaks, "uh, work. social media, stuff like that."

nick sighs, nodding, "we can always take a break, you know?"

a break, seriously? chris thinks to himself. how could chris ever catch a break and let himself relax while all this was happening around him? he had to keep y/n safe, he had to get rid of anything and anyone who bothered her, and he had to film videos with his brothers. he just couldn't find time to let himself rest.

"i can't." he finally mutters, staring down at the marble counter as his fingers tap against it. he hears nick get up behind him.

then, he feels a hand on his shoulder, "you can, chris. just take things slow, focus on yourself for a little while. i promise you'll feel better." his voice is soft, calming, reassuring.

but chris doesn't know if he can trust that little change of tone. it wasn't that easy to just let everything go, not for him at least.

he couldn't even let a simple comment go past him. chris just always needed to do something about it and he hated it. he hated that he was like this. why was he like this?

chris didn't even know he crying until nick started to pat his back, muttering, "it's okay, i got you. let it out."

what was happening to him?

christophersturniolo

liked by ysbtril, matthew.sturniolo and others

christophersturniolo impulse

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matthew.sturniolo kids off his meds

-> christophersturniolo kid is alive

y/nwhosthat u said u were going to sleep, ur really breaking my heart christopher💔

*liked by creator*

-> trevssturn these secret relationship rumors are starting to become a lil believable...

-> matthewslovee babe the rumors are based off one post😭 let's settle down

nicolassturniolo oh brother what's he on about now

-> christophersturniolo shhh im plotting👀

xx4mygf notice how the only comment he hasn't replied to is y/ns

theyenvy.michael im ong coming for you lil boy

-> christophersturniolo stop meat riding bru

8:45, chris stood on the sidewalk across from michaels house. he turned his head down, looking at the picture he had screenshotted of a car, michaels car in his driveway.

he found it when scrolling deeper, almost throwing up at all the horrific things he found on the page. he was surprised nobody had reported him yet, he was sick. michael had also been stupid enough to take a picture of himself right in front of the 4 numbers on his house.

as for the street, well chris didn't need to search much for that either. again, michael led him right to it, posting a video of himself walking down the sidewalk with his friends as they laughed about something stupid.

chris was waiting here for a few minutes, pacing up and down the sidewalk so as not to seem suspicious and get caught by michaels neighbors. he didn't want to get asked any questions today, especially not when he was right in front of his first victims house.

as he started to get impatient, chris looked around before running across the street and quickly jumping the fence. he landed on his feet perfectly and quietly snuck to the back door of the house, looking around the house through the sliding glass door.

sliding his backpack off his shoulders, he kneeled in front of the lock, grabbing the safety pin before sticking it into the key-hole and twisting it around. he took his bottom lip between his teeth in concentration as he continued to try and pick at the lock, smiling when he heard the click.

as he stood up, throwing the safety pin somewhere behind him in the grass and throwing his backpack on his shoulders again, he slid the door open carefully. he listened to the soft sounds of the neighborhood, trying to pick up any sound of talking or footsteps coming closer.

when he didn't, he threw the door open and stepped in before shutting the door again. his fingertips slid across the dusty frame of the door carelessly before he shut it again and traveled deeper into the house.

his eyes landed on the freezer first before roaming all around the kitchen. it was trashed, like nobody had lived here in ages and rats had taken over, but there were none, only open chip bags and splatters of unknown sauce. crumbs adorned the floor, crunching under chris' feet as he took steps toward the fridge.

what's the harm in getting a little snack? he was hungry due to walking here all the way from his house, and michael wouldn't mind. he would he gone, so who would care?

chris grabbed an orange popsicle from the freezer before closing it and making his way to the living room. he took a seat at the couch, putting his feet up on the coffee table as he licked at the frozen treat.

when the brunette had finished it, he threw the damp stick into the garbage by the entertainment center before walking to the window at the front of the house. he kneeled in front of his, elbows resting on the windowsill as he waited for michael.

as he waited, his backpack suddenly felt heavier on his shoulders, the feeling of guilt and regret starting to wear on him. was he seriously gonna do this? it wasn't like he didn't want to. it was just that... he didn't even know, honestly.

he knew he was doing it for him and y/ns relationship, so they could live happily with no distractions or obstacles. but, then again, they would still have to face arguments, the publics opinion, and the many rumors that would start to spread. that's why, when chris finally gets you, you'll both flee the city and live somewhere together. alone where nobody could find you guys.

sure, chris would have to explain why, but it didn't matter. if you really loved him, you wouldn't care the things he's done to get there. or maybe you will. maybe you'll hate him and turn him into the cops. if that's the case, then chris might just have to get rid of—

"hey!" chris jumped at the muffled sound of a mans voice, and he turned his head to look in the direction of it, "come on, oscar."

it was michael, tugging roughly on the leash of his dog so as to get him to follow michael. the dog did follow him, his head hung low as his paws patted the concrete below them with quiet thuds.

chris just wanted to rush him right now, but he couldn't. he had to wait until he was inside, catch him off guard in the safety of his own home where he thought everything was normal. he would take care of the dog later in a... better way than what he'd do with his owner.

he jumped back as he heard the brown-eyed boys' footsteps, leaving the windowsill as he made his way further into the house. he hid in a closet down the hallway, shutting the door with a quiet thud as he stayed as still as he possibly could.

the door opened, and chris heard the click of the leash being undone, followed by the footsteps of both michael and oscar. chris watched through the blinds of the closet as michael put his dog into the metal kennel before shrugging his own backpack off and placing it on top of the kennel.

he walked down the hallway, and chris swore he felt michaels eyes staring right into his. he shuddered at the feeling, tensing up when michael neared and round the corner to his room.

chris heard a door open, and then rummaging. the brunette quickly jumped out of the closet and turned the corner, walking into michaels room and seeing his back turned as he faced his own closet. chris' eyes flickered between his bathroom and michael before he stepped closer.

when michael began to turn, chris threw his backpack off and grabbed the black-haired boy by the hood of his jacket, tugging him backward and hearing him gag.

"what the f—" chris quickly shut him up by throwing him against his wall harshly, hearing michael gasp as the wind was knocked out of him.

his eyes widened as chris stomped toward him, his hands going straight for the neck as he began to squeeze. the brunette felt another cold pair of hands on his as he stared michael in the eyes, his brown ones wide and filled with terror as he recognized chris.

chris' just stared, a smile creeping onto his face as he pressed michael harder against the wall. the shorter boy strained against him, choked noises falling from his lips with the little air he had.

"help—" a strangled cry left him, eyes brimming with tears as his vision became blurry. chris noticed, and he almost felt guilty. almost, "plea—sorry! i.."

this wasn't enough for chris. sure, michael would die in his hands, slowly and painfully, but chris wanted him to really feel it. when michaels eyes started to flutter shut, chris let go of him, letting the boy stumble to the ground.

the brown-eyed boy gasped for air, grasping his neck softly and rubbing the area where chris had squeezed. there was anger slowly creeping into him, the fear now long gone as his eyes darted around the messy room.

michael began to crawl, and chris let him. the brunette didn't let the boy go far, grabbing him by the hair and dragging him toward the hallway. michael kicked his feet, grunting but not even trying to yell. he was still confident he could win the fight, and chris gave him credit for that.

"let me go you fuckin' freak!" he struggled, and chris just ignored him as he continued to drag him down the hallway and to the bathroom, "bark, you useless piece of shit!" michael yelled at his dog, and oscar only looked at him sadly.

chris kicked the boy in the back, making him cry out before throwing him further into the small bathroom. the brunette shut the door, locking it before turning around to grab michael again.

he grabbed him by his hair again before throwing him against the wall just for the fun of it, smiling as he saw the hurt look on the shorter boys face. chris stepped further into the bathroom, leaning over the tub as he went to turn the water on. he reached his hand in, plugging the drain and watching as the water began to fill up.

michaels eyes widened in terror, his hopes going down as he watched chris turn back to him. more tears fell from his eyes as his body began to tremble. he felt pain everywhere, and he couldn't even move an inch without feeling a sharp sting. chris squatted in front of the boy, tilting his head as his hoodie fell off his head.

"where did that tough boy on the internet go, huh? or are you seriously just a poser." chris scoffed, taunting the boy with a sadistic smile on his face. when michael didn't answer, chris began to yell, "answer me!"

michael winced, sniffling as he listened to the water in the tub, "i don't have to answer to you, asshole. you're not gonna fuckin' do anything. you're scared."

chris raised an eyebrow, chuckling softly as he moved closer. he watched as michael flinched, and only then did a pang of guilt hit him. his smile dropped, and he just stared michael in the eyes. his gaze was dark, full of anger, guilt, sadness, and so many more emotions he couldn't even comprehend.

"i'm not scared, michael. you're shaking, look at you. you should be absolutely terrified of what's to come. nobody will notice you're gone because you're a fucking maniac that nobody loves. not even y/n still loves you, kid, you're trying too hard." chris masks his feelings with a smile, patting michaels cheek in a teasing manner before standing up to check on the tub again.

he turns the handle, stopping the water from flowing out before his turns back to the brown-eyed boy on the floor, "never said i was a nice guy, did i?" chris laughs at the scared expression on his face, walking over to him and watching as he tries to crawl away.

chris only grabs him by the hair again, dragging him harshly toward the tub as he hears michael scream and cry for mercy, begging chris to let him go. chris ignores him, resting his free hand on the edge of the tub as he drags michael toward him.

his knees are on the tiled floors, and chris gives him a soft wave before dunking his head into the cold water and watching as bubbles erupt from the boys nose and up to the surface. chris only watches with a blank expression, his stomach twisting as he feels the shorter boys hands trying to push him away but slipping and falling to his sides.

chris holds his ground, his grip on michaels hair tight as he pushes him deeper. his entire upper half is almost over the edge now, and chris doesn't realize until he feels water splash onto his cheek. his eyes move to michaels arms, flailing in the water and making a mess of the bathroom. his head turns to look at the bathroom door, taking deep breaths as he feels tears prick in his eyes.

he chokes on his spit, eyes closing as he tries to drown out the noises of splashing water and endless gurgling. chris' knuckles turn white as he grips tighter on both the tub and michaels black hair, finally starting to sniffle as tears begin to run down his face. he didn't know what he was doing, but there was no going back now. chris couldn't let michael go because if he did, the boy would only go to the cops and snitch on him. chris was past the point of no return, so he just let the whole thing happen.

the brunette begins to sob as the sounds of splashing die down, his grip on michaels hair finally loosening as he lets his entire body fall into the tub full of water. chris holds his face in his hands as he stays in a squat, his left hand soaking half of his face.

"shit, shit, shit. god, you're such an idiot, chris!" he scolds himself quietly, wiping his tears before he gets to his feet and takes even deeper breaths.

he's still not put together fully, but he pushes through it, looking back to michaels lifeless body before he leans over and grabs his hand. his fingers are still adorned with rings, and chris just takes the first one he sees and stuffs it into the back pocket of his jeans. chris quickly unlocks the door before walking back to the bedroom, taking careful steps as he looks around for his backpack.

when he spots it, he throws it over his shoulder, slipping into the straps hurriedly before leaving the room and walking down the hallway towards the kitchen. he takes the leash off the top of oscars kennel before he unlocks the metal crate, letting the dog out.

"hey, buddy," chris coos, petting his head softly as he sniffles once again, "i'm gonna find a better home for you, i promise. i'm so sorry."

oscar only whines, and chris just latches the leash onto his collar before guiding him through the living room. he takes another long look around, a millions feelings eating him up inside all at once. he doesn't feel regret... he doesn't even know what he feels.

chris freezes when he finally hears it. sirens. sirens coming closer and closer to the house that he stood in, "fuck. fuck, fuck, what—"

the brunette looks around, turning back quickly before sprinting through the kitchen and darting towards the backdoor. chris throws the door open, not even caring about the loud banging sound as he runs out of the house, the leash tightly wrapped around his hand.

"come on, boy!" chris yells as quietly as he can, and oscar continues to gallop behind him. he continues to make his way through the backyard, trying not to focus on the sirens that grow increasingly louder. how hasn't he realized the silent alarm? he was too caught up in his plan to see the red alarm above the backdoor.

chris opens the metal gate, running down the back alleyway and deeper into the neighborhood, not stopping even when he crosses the road. he loosens his grip on the leash as he makes it far enough from the house, hunching over as he tries to catch his breath.

he turns to check on oscar, giving him a few gentle pets before he reaches into the back pocket of his jeans. his hands find the small ring, and he pulls it out with a smile.

this ring would be on your finger someday, and chris wouldn't feel even a small amount of guilt for what he had done. he hoped you wouldn't resent him for it, either. that would just mess the entire thing up, and he didn't want to hurt you.

but for now, he'd just have to live with the memory.

"you could be my wife."

comment to be on this taglist!

@livialifesblog @zayyluvz @1800-love-me @snowysosturn @mirioosos

@ladyy-whistle-d0wn @ginswife @spideylovin @dej4vhs @strnlxlqve

@joemamaaa42069 @fratbrochrisgf @slut4chriss @h3arts4harry @str4wberryk1ss3s

@riasturns @yurpppppy @nwlluvsturnsstars17 @asimp4chris @byneptunee

@ilove2021chris @freshloveforthefit @sturniologals @ifwdominicfike @sturnsdoll

@3lizaluvs @matt444nixi @nikki-starx @notmylaa11 @jetaimevous

@fionaheartswomen @sturni0l0 @sturniolofannn @sturniolofannnlmao @demzzz

@n3-vaeh @melanch0lybby @viiiwwwee @johnniesverr @kaisturni

@chrissfawn

[piastri-lover]

who would have guessed; alex albon

summary: in which you and alex are dropping hints about your relationship, and yet no one seems to be getting the hint

pairing: alex albon x celeb!reader

author's note: i fucking love alex albon and this prompt!! icl i dont know he's so underrated but i enjoyed making this sm xx

INSTAGRAM

yourusername 📍tulum, mexico

liked by pierregasly, zendaya and 17293057 yourusername summer time x view comments

-

user1 i love y/n so fucking much

user2 wife

user3 are u kidding i was lit in mexico two days ago and NOW the queen is here -user4 lit flew out this morning i could have met my wife

zendaya having fun? ;)) -yourusername don't know what u mean by that --zendaya ill keep my mouth shut

user5 after 3 months of oppenheimer filming y/n prob needs a break -user6 she slayed as jean though --user5 100%

user7 mexico is my country and i'm so glad u love it liked by yourusername -user7 omg y/n liked my comment im done

user8 whos she with -user9 idk but someone def took that 3rd photo

user10 why is pierre in the queen y/n's likes?? -user11 i bet he forgot to switch accounts and liked without thinking --user12 ariana what are u doing here

~~~

TWITTER

~~~

~~~

INSTAGRAM

yourusername 📍tulum, mexico

liked by sydney_sweeney, landonorris and 32017295 others yourusername thank u for the restuarant reccomendation, we loved it xx view comments

-

user13 mother is mothering

user14 she's so fit -user15 that scene in oppenheimer changed me as a person

user16 THERES A BOY -user17 omg omg omg this is not a drill

sydney_sweeney y/n... -yourusername ill call u later and fill u in babe

user18 first pierre, now lando -user19 the entire grid is simping for y/n and tbh i don't blame them

user20 the soft launch is beginning -user21 im so ready to analyse every screenshot to try and work this out first

user22 i need that dress

TWITTER

INSTAGRAM

alex_albon replied to your story:

alex_albon ur fans are going wild on twt rn

yourusername really?? i haven't checked

alex_albon mhmm like they havent stopped speculating for hours im sure i saw someone ship u with fucking lando

yourusername he is kinda cute...

alex_albon oy

yourusername im kidding we still going out for dinner tonight??

alex_albon yup its me and you, george and carmen and lando lol

yourusername all good

alex_albon pick u up at 8?

yourusername counting down the minutes baby love u x

alex_albon love u more x

~~~

landonorris

liked by pierregasly, charles_leclerc and 4103549 others landonorris my fave couples (im so alone) view comments

-

user23 umm

user24 lando babe i dont feel like u were supposed to post this

georgerussell63 he's passed out and i dont know his password idk what to do -user25 george are y/n and alex dating??? --georgerussell63 no lando was just feeling a bit silly

user26 george trying to defend alex and y/n when we obv know they're dating

alex_albon i let him take one photo and ofc he does this -yourusername at least we look cute --alex_albon we always look cute baby

user27 i wasnt sure about alex but look they're so wholesome

user28 im j wondering how tf alexander albon pulled the y/n -user29 me too --user30 like nothing against him but y/n is... well y/n

landonorris wait i thought this was my private

landonorris so so sorry -yourusername ur buying me a drink when we next go out --landonorris done and done ---alex_albon my girl has expensive taste lando u have completely shot urself in the foot

TWITTER

INSTAGRAM

yourusername

tagged: alex_albon liked by zendaya, pierregasly and 51294856 othersyourusername lando ruined my softlaunch(���🖕) but anyway i kinda love him so be nice xx view comments

-

user31 no bc theyre acc cute

user32 i hate to have to share my wife but it would be with him

landonorris ive apologised 1000 times idk what more to do -alex_albon she had the entire thing all planned out but no lando norris had to intervene --yourusername honestly im heartbroken i might need another bottle of champagne... ---landonorris fuck off y/n the last bottle was like £1000

alex_albon leng -yourusername appreciate it bro

alex_albon the last photo❤️❤️❤️-yourusername love u big man

user33 omg i hope we get to see her at a grand prix soon -yourusername im def coming to spa and we'll see after that

williamsracing already saving a seat for u -yourusername i cant wait xx

user34 dont know whether i want to be alex or her

user35 bi awakening -user36 fr

user37 sleeping on the highway tonight -landonorris ill be joining u --user38 landos so real for that

[devondespresso]

Background details about Tommy and Carol from Season 1, and how they are with conflict

<very much not an all exhaustive list, i just saw this gif with something interesting and pulled up the whole show to look into it>

Now the one i saw was slightly longer, showing carol and tommy's continued reactions, so ofc we had to learn how tf to make gifs so i can show you guys what im talking about (this ones at .75 speed)

Specifically, to include not just their initial reactions, but also the next thoughts.

Lets start with Nicole, the redhead on the far right, who obviously isn't nearly as close to the trio as they are to each other (she's basically only around at school and this scene and doesn't stick around after they run from the cops). She's our control (if this were an experiment), the normal reaction. She's surprised in the entertained way. Steve's girlfriend slapped him, things are getting interesting.

Then Carol, who's probably got my favorite reaction. A similar surprise and "Oh" as Nicole, but her eyebrows don't stay up if they even jump at all. Then she looks at Nancy and she's mad, clearly on Steve's behalf. Steve's girlfriend slapped him, how dare she.

Next we have Tommy, the only person in this scene to noticeably flinch, bringing an arm up in front of him and playing it off with the cigarette to his mouth and marveling at the event. To me, it reads as a kind of empathy: if he were in Steve place in that moment, he'd block/shield himself and he has the reflexes to do it even when he's standing several feet away. I could be reading into it, but i still think its interesting he make more movement than the two people closer to them, and even the guy getting slapped (who doesn't even turn away, the momentum of the hit changes his angle slightly).

Then another (im sorry its pretty hard to follow, again, just learned how to make half decent gifs) showing interesting stuff from the fight i never noticed until looking for it. Most notably, extra lines/ad-lib from Tommy and Carol I've subtitled, like Tommy telling Carol to leave (the implication that she didn't want to as Nicole grabbed her, combined with her line worrying about him), Tommy hauling Steve up and Steve stumbling like we see in season 2 after his concussion (not definitive proof he has a concussion or something close to it since hes able to run and talk fine after, but its interesting)

Then we get the conflict afterwards, showing up differently for Carol and Tommy.

With Carol, its arguing. It's jabs at Nancy and it jabs at Tommy and Carol. What i think is really interesting is that the shit Steve says genuinely surprises her. Before she's goofing off with Tommy, the both of them trying to lighten the mood and Steve snaps. And her response isn't "calm down" or "what's gotten into you" (that's more in Tommy's lines), shes genuinely taken aback.

And then at the end, Steve raises his voice (not loud enough for a yell, but combined with the motion it feels like one) and Carol visibly backs up, out of frame entirely for a second. (followed by Tommy blowing up at Steve for yelling at her, and the following lines expressing again how its out of character for him)

That, combined with her reaction to Steve yelling from a previous scene (where he's going to check on Nancy and they tease him for caring) (also at .75 speed)

She's definitely got something going on with yelling specifically, especially since Tommy doesn't even look upset after, an expression similar to Nicole's "shit got interesting" expression from earlier.

Then there's Tommy's conflict, which is probably most memorable because its physical aggression (and very... tense.)

(yes i cut out over half of that moment the file size was massive im sorry)

We see from the Carol gif before and in this one that he gets aggressive. One shove when Steve yells at Carol, then the second Steve pushes back he escalates and even after Steve stops responding we get Tommy slamming the car door and hitting the outside even as Steve is driving out.

Its much harder to tell with him what the deal is, especially since he doesn't get the same vulnerable looks as Carol does. I think you could headcanon him having a similar thing as Carol, or as just macho-jock bullshit he learned to stay on top, or even it all leading back to having a crush on Steve.

This also doesn't really prove or disprove Tommy's actual ability to fight (i remember seeing people talk about it but I can't remember specifics) since he could either be a solid fighter who knows how to hit and protect from a hit, or he's talking out of his ass and sticks to intimidation and blocking when he needs to. Again, up to you (i certainly don't know which I find more interesting yet)

I personally also like to think the three of them were really good friends for a while, at least since middle school (but im also a sap especially for best-friendships) I wish we could've seen more of how Carol was taking the split up in season 2 and maybe something from Tommy other than how he hangs out with Billy now. Maybe Carol and Tommy split after Steve left, maybe it happened when Tommy tried replacing Steve with Billy in their trio, maybe they never split and Carol avoided Steve afterwards.

(tho i am kinda glad the story let them go after 2 seasons, we get a lot more room to play around with what-ifs and read into their scenes)

[tr-mha-fan]

Im tired of seeing all these Takemichi haters, so here's a little something that might change your mind

Idk if I can get everything in my mind down here, but it's better than nothing

⚠️ MANGA SPOILER WARNING ⚠️

Hygiene

Everybody hates on Takemichi for his poor hygiene and dirty apartment in the future, but I don t think they understand the fact that he's depressed. Cleanliness doesn't matter to anybody who's depressed, to them, there's no point in life, they want to die, so why should they clean up anyway? Now, before you say, 'why TF was he depressed? He hadn't even started time traveling yet!' let me explain this to you. Takemichi was beat up and used as a slave most of his childhood by people he barely even knew, he ran away from home as soon as he graduated middle school, and started living in his own and working as much as he could to be able to afford a place to stay and some food. He watched his friends die in front of him, hell, Draken died in his arms!! Now, please don't tell me If you were in his place you wouldn't have gotten depressed.

2. Weak

Alright, this one really gets on my nerves. Everybody is always complaining about how Takemichi is so weak and he's a bad mc, these people obviously don't understand the point of the ENTIRE show. The literal theme (thanking ELA class rn) of TR is that 'You don't need muscles to be a hero'. Takemichi is supposed to be weak because he's not your regular, run of the mill Hero. He reminds everyone of Shinichiro because of his weakness and determination. You CANNOT hate on Takemitchy but not hate on Shin because their personalities are literally one and the same!! Now, ik this is gonna sound like some My Little Pony shit, but literally, Takemichi's 'strength' comes from his friends who are always there for him!

3. Stupidity

Alright, same as above, Takemitchy is supposed to be stupid, that's his point. I won't elaborate.

4. Character Development

Alright, this is the one that annoys me the most. You'd find that most of the people who hate on Michi for not getting enough character development are anime-only fans. I want you guys to understand the the anime is still ongoing. Takemitchy's MAIN development happens in the non-animated parts of the Manga. Please finish a series before judging, PLEASE. Not only that, but Takemitchy does get some development in the animated parts too! Going from somebody who doesn't want to live, to somebody who wants to save his girlfriend and stay alive for her is development! Going from an idiot who can't even stand up in front of opponents, to someone who can withstand a beating (from Taiju nonetheless!!) and throw a few punches is development! It's not much, it's not big, but it's still there!

5. Crybaby

Don't tell me if you were Takemichi, you wouldn't be a crybaby. He lived an awful life, and when he got the ability to relive and change it, he kept on seeing his girlfriend, bestfriend, and all his friends dying in front of him. You can't expect him to not become a crybaby because what he went through is TOO MUCH for any regular person! And its also part of his personality

6. Unloyal

Ok, I understand why some people hate him for this. Sure, he was in the karaoke with Emma, but that was past Michi and not future Michi, future Michi panicked and left as fast as he could. He didn't want to cheat on Hina!! And Senju, he didn't know she was a girl, he just went along thinking he'd just be some random gofer to this guy. The other time, at amusement park, he wanted to make sure she won't die after he saw that vision (I don't remember if he agreed to it before or after getting the vision, but you get it)

[storiesofsvu]

CM 17.3

Alright!! 17e3 here we go!!

(I meant to rewatch the first 2 eps before this but didn’t get around to it, so a more in-depth review/more film student analysis is still to come.)

Enjoy this chaos with no context for now! (a lot of it likely isn’t gonna be fully fleshed out cause I have a full thought/reply and try my hardest to type it all out super fast before the show moves on but I have to stop to pay attention OR something else comes up and im just SCRAMBLING)

Absolutely hate there’s no subtitles right away for this but I mean.. I could wait a couple of days til its on Disney I just have no patience.

GOD why is it so fucking dark.

Thank you Emily for not letting luke spill the beans, like, kinda like Rebecca as a person, but can’t trust her as long as her job goes

Okay, em is in the right here, both in the sense of keeping it quiet originally but also making luke keep hush. Cause im sorry but she’s right. It would’ve 1000% drove the team to the brink and split them apart AND made them spiral so deep about what was on the site/other people seeing them/trying to cleanse the web of them (which obvi is impossible). Esp jj of all people? Like I’m not really sure *what* is on there, but jj is the one with KIDS, a full family, she’s still in contact with her parents (at least the mom?) she’s probably likely known in the circle of the boys friends parents? Like that’s SO much damage control to stress over??

Im so fucking excited for prentiss’ wacko neighbour to come back loool

LOOOOLL em’s “oh.. oh no…” reaction. I love this.

Did pen just say “tik tack” instead of tik tok? or was I not listening properly lol

“what are you gonna do?” “put out fires” that is LITERALLY a boss’ job. This being said as a boss.

“I don’t want to say no to your face…” SAME girl… same

GOD Emily is so fucking beautiful

This back and fourth with Garcia and her opinions on tyler is SO annoying. At first she hates him and doesn’t want to even look at him, then they’re flirting, then they’re fucking. Then she’s all twitterpated and wrapped around his finger. Then she AGAIN wants nothing to do with him?? Even though in the last ep she was all high school girlie about working with an “ex”?? I GET that the writers/showrunners are piling the comic relief onto her/the situation but come ON.

“I didn’t call you” “your landlord did” BRUH. COME ON. I don’t care how crazy things are, you ALWAYS double check that! I once saw a dude backing into my driveway with a ladder and immediately went outside to be all “uh..hello?” he immediately pulled out his phone, named my landlord, pointed out what he was there for (damage to the siding of the house, I hadn’t noticed cause I hadn’t left the house and live in the basement) AND offered to call my landlord. ALWAYS BE SUSPICIOUS.

WHY THE FUCK ARE JJ AND LUKE PAIRED UP!!!!????? Jj’s a profiler, she’s obvi gonna be able to get it outta luke, or press him for details, or whatever. If he’s supposed to keep shit quiet why tf are they off together. (or were they specifically asked to be together by voit? Cause that’s just him playing into his bullshit again)

“Emily practising deception isn’t a lie. It’s good leadership” THANK YOU.

Also...to feed all the jemily shippers out there… if this was a fic written by me.. it would be bundled into the AI shit, but there would be pics of Emily and jj hooking up that were very easily proven to be legit and the entire situation would out them and that’s what the actual issue was/is with the site…

I understand jj is outside with Sydney and luke’s job is to keep the girls distracted inside but of COURSE its himbo’s first reaction to pull out the soccer ball INSIDE.

Okay is that just some weird direction/camera angles or are we eluding to the older sister being a cutter?

Emily’s reactions to brian were perfection.

JFC NO! who’s out there stalking them? Uggghh (though I will say that the moment something clinked in the parking garage I said to myself “pls don’t let her get kidnapped in ep 3…”

I KNEW IT WAS CARBON MONOXIDE!! So smrt

Why does it feel like tyler knows more about gold star than the bau does?

Oooo but he cloned the phone! Good boy!!

Penelope: in charge of tracking down tyler

Tyler: texts Penelope “I need to see you”

Penelope: “NO!” doesn’t reply….

Ah yes.. I was right about the cutting… oof. Uugggh talk about heartbreaking..

LOOOOL tara teasing rossi! “I think I pulled… everything…” HHAH

Im not gonna lie, I absolutely HATE that they went down this AI *porn* route, as if these fucking poor characters haven’t been through enough, and like, again as I said, JJ… she’s got the most damage control to do no matter what, and poor girl hasn’t dealt with more than half her trauma so far…

“but I didn’t exactly get it legally, so you know what rebecca’s gonna say” THANK YOU. But also, like fuck that. cause this show has ALWAYS been above the law in that sense. I can’t remember if I said it in last week’s summary or if it was another random post, but CM vs like, SVU is WILD because we NEVER see things past the cuffs being put on/the unsub getting killed/killing themselves. We never go to court, we never see the legal side of it BECAUSE 99% of them would be not guilty due to mental…defect? LOL I know that’s not the right word/phrase but you know what I mean. CM is about the mind of the criminal and chasing them down and finding out the trigger and stressor and figuring out the pattern, not seeing things through to court and prison.

and while I love the addition of her character (Rebecca), it’s making other characters act in ways they never have before/never would simply because now the show is implicating the legal side of things. again, love having Rebecca and that boundary in line for the team but it is messing with the normal dynamics we are used to. Like..as IF Penelope would have any issue using an illegally cloned phone in the past. She was all “don’t ask questions” “well yes I *could* get access to that record, but it is technically sealed” and hotch would be all “I didn’t hear anything…”

LOL Emily with a full bottle of wine at her desk. Love her. god she’s SO annoyed with brian and I love it.

SEE this is why luke never should have said anything. Cause it doesn’t matter how hard you try not to look, you’re never going to be able to resist being able to look it up, no matter how bad it is, how fake and evil and ugly it is, you’re still gonna want to know and jj didn’t need to see that/know about it. How is she supposed to go home and act ok now??

“okay they’re here… somehow” DUDE YOU KNOW BETTER EM! Doesn’t matter that youre in an fbi parking garage, no cop gets there that fast!!

Also..that red coat is TRENCH COAT. YEESSS

Oh FUCK YOU BRIAN

“FUCKING BRIAN!” thankkkkk you em

THAT’S HOW IT ENDS SEERIOUSLY? Ffs.

Also…in all seriousness. Em was in HER office at the BAU, somewhere you (I assume) need clearance to get on property, much less in the building or into the parking, so WHY/HOW the FUCK were both brian, the guys who beat him up and whoever took the pictures get clearance?? SHOULDN’T QUANTICO HAVE SOME PRETTY FUCKING HIGH SECURITY LEVELS???

[swemory]

Messy CoD: Ghost's headcannons ::

on the topic of CoD charachters as animals, Merrick strikes me as a bear. dunno ENTIRELY why. i saw this other post montttthhhssss back(more like a year ago) of someone headcannoning that Merrick kind of instinctively starts watching out for the Walker brother's/doting on them more after Elias' death and i REALLY resonate with that.

he takes care of his cubs :) definitely gets protective of the two brothers after his best friends death. (also headcannon that Elias and Merrick were closer buds than we got to see. those two definitely drink beer together.) Merrick seems like the kind of guy to have never seen himself as a father figure, its just an instinctive move after Elias dies since the two boys are still pretty young adults. (dunno if the person said all this in their posts, i have zero way of finding them again 😭😭)

(i was getting stuffed animals from build a bear nd making them themed as CoD charachters and i have a bear one as Merrick because of this[lmk if you want a bear!Merrick reveal because i also have doodles of him with bear ears])

Merrick, Merrick, Merrick..

honestly dont really know what to say about this man. i feel like he's extremely un-tech savvy unless its military technology. definitely does that dad squint with his eyes while reading something/trying to figure out how tf a phone works.

OHHH and on the topic of being horridly bad with tech and internet shi, if Logan and Hesh were to ever show Merrick tiktok for any reason, Merrick would probably find himself an addict of the app and incidentally pick up a shit ton of Gen Z humor but have zero idea what ANY of it means.

catch him throwing around old 2019 jokes or being one of those awkward father's who try to relate to the younger demographic by using outdated slang. thats IF he has the confidence to use any of the humor. if anything, i feel like he'd be awfully self conscious about doing so due to his lack of knowledge on it all.

no idea where im going with these headcannons. it is 12am and i am doing my workout routine as i wrote this while sleep deprived. dw im going strong.

but on the topic of HEADCANNONS,,,

Keegan, i feel like, leaned alot on Elias (probably without realizing it). i just see a kinship between Keegan, Elias and Merrick. Keegan seems to be by Merrick's side ALOT and i feel like HE feels he belongs there. not reliant just.. connected. soul brothers, really.

and if it wasnt Logan and Hesh who were fucked up over Elias' death, it was Keegan and Merrick. Merrick lost a bestfriend, Keegan lost a friend maybe even a father/uncle figure.

mostly Merrick gives me uncle vibes, though. Elias is a father figure, someone to lean on / someone to really show you how to do something and help you through hard times with insanely good advice. and Merrick's just the awkward, un-tech savvy uncle. i refuse to elaborate any further.

my personal headcannon for Logan is that hes semi-mute. i dont, personally, headcannon him as someone with full mutism but i do feel like he doesnt speak 90% of the time and shocks everyone whenever he does speak.

Keegan going about his day, saying a brief good morning to Logan and the Walker boy saying a quiet ''morning'' back to the man. has Keegan freeze on the spot, taking a full minute before looking up at Logan. takes a glance at Hesh and the brother merely shrugs, used to Logan's rare speaking.

out of everyone, Logan mostly speaks to Hesh. whenever Logan does speak, i feel like its aimed, USUALLY, at Hesh and nobody else in the room. keeps ot brief but sometimes has an actual back and forth while Merrick and Keegan are just reeling.

Merrick, wanting to help understand Logan better and show he cares more after Elias' death, put time aside to learn sign language for Logan's 'no talk days'. definitely mixes up a few signs and still has alot to learn but it surprises Logan and the man feels heard. definitely better than Logan having to rely on Hesh fully to communicate what Logan's trying to say / Logan having to fumble and point out different things and use unconventional means to try and get something across.

no hcs for Hesh rn..i THINK. actually i think i do have some but i cant remember and am tired. i spent likr an hour writing this yw im so eepy

gonna make a post strictly for Elias hc's because i have ALOT. (can you tell i have daddy issues)

A/N:: if anyone else has done these hcs tell me, im losing my mind over if ive actually seen anyone else have the same thoughts as me or not.

[oklotea]

Trolls Noire AU moment! 🕵

Sapphics with Blades looking very disturbed! I didn't even realize I drew this concept TWICE. I guess just an inate need to put the girlies through the horrors..... (Ever after high moment)

On the other hand.... Thistle and Branch slow dancing!!!!!!!! (They are having a very swell time and nothing bad is happening to them. Currently.)

here we have this concept I drew of a rugged and messy younger Chaz that I have mixed feelings with. (Accidentally made him look like a butch woman, which, isn't necessarily a bad thing, butches are fucking hot)

And lastly we have a sleepy hickory!!! Love this guy he's such a loser HAHA (/j) love his edgy monologues.

Funny story, I was thinking about hickory's real voice having a German accent, so then I rewatched world tour and saw all the scenes with his real voice, and I think the VA did AN AMAZING JOB WITH HIS ACCENT. SERIOUSLY. I love the way it still really encapsulates him as a person, very sympathetic with a heart of gold, without letting the accent really take you out of the scenes. Seriously, I know how hard it is to make a realistic fake accent that doesn't automatically break your immersion..... You'll see how I know.

So after realizing how GREAT and HOW MUCH MORE I PREFER HIS GERMAN ACCENT VOICE.... I knew that I had to nail a German accent. For when I want to read his dialog in tccomh out loud with my sister (we read really good comics and fanfics together and we assign roles to one another and voice act together it's a BLAST), so now I'm spending my entire evening trying to teach myself an authentic and characterized German accent.... And failing miserably! God! Sam Rockwell how tf did you do this?!?!!?!

End of the story, Im still using Hickory's southern accent, cause I CAN do that. But just know in my mind, he sounds like Sam rockwell's German accent........

Au by @artroc-ity !

[todayisyourturntolose]

speedran tf outta this sooo here's the enby p1 fic

erm tw for maybe some in depth talk of body dysmorphia. rlly half of this is just my own thoughts abt myself just given to p1

also this isn't rlly proofread bcuz its 2 am rn and im tired af so if you seen any spelling errors. no u don't

also @strawbrygashez haaaai methinks you should read this

[platonic p1/p4 fic abt p1 coming out as nb bcuz im nb and i make the rules. sorrrry]

P1 couldn't stand to look at himself in the mirror. Especially when unclothed.

He couldn't stand seeing his thin figure, or the countless scars that littered his body. It seemed like no part of him was safe from some sort of cut or bruise.

What he hated the most, however, were the two flesh mounds on his chest. And even though they weren't large or easy to see from afar when he didn't wear a binder, just the mere thought of them was enough to make him almost gag.

All of this dysphoria didn't go well with his ongoing gender issues, either.

Did he feel like a woman? Hell no. ..Well, maybe sometimes? Being a bit feminine was nice, but he didn't do it very often. Did he feel like a man? ...Maybe? It was what he chose to identify as for almost his entire life, but now he was really doubting if he still felt like one.

At the same time, though, he didn't feel like he was either gender. He felt almost as if he was simply a body, one with no gender given to it.

This internal struggle ate away at him for what seemed like forever, and was made even worse by his already horrible mental health.

Despite all of this, he was finally able to come to a conclusion on how he felt.

He was neither. Not a man, not a woman, and, honestly, nothing in between. In his own eyes, he was simply just a person, someone who didn't feel like they were a specific gender.

Now, with all of that finally figured out.., how would he tell everyone else? On one hand, most of the Dudes were all very supportive of one another, and those who weren't entirely supportive still understood to an extent.

On the other hand, the idea of the others not understanding and even making fun of him for his identity still lingered in the back of his mind. There was a very slim possibility of it happening, but he still feared that it could occur.

The thought had worried him so much that he had avoided speaking to any of the other Dudes for almost an entire week. He only ever saw them if he went downstairs, and even then, he would try to avoid making eye contact with any other Dude.

But before the week had ended, he realized that he couldn't keep his feelings to himself forever. (even if that's what he usually did)

After a bit of narrowing down his options, he decided that there was only one person he could tell without feeling entirely ashamed of himself.

It was P4.

He had a greater bond with P1 than any other Dude, and the two would frequently speak to each other in private quite frequently. Despite P4's age, he understood exactly how P1 felt, and had a solution to nearly all of P1's problems.

So, after giving it some thought, he mustered up the courage to ask P4 to talk privately. He passed the older man in the hall and tapped his shoulder, simply signing, "Can we talk?"

It took P4 a quick second to process the question, given his understanding of ASL was still a bit low, but he nodded and responded with "Sure, whenever you're ready to."

P1 signed "Now, please", and P4 nodded once again, following the other man to his room.

P1 locked the door behind them once they were both in his room. P4 sat down and put his back to the wall, while P1 chose to stand at the door.

"So, what're we here to talk about?" P4 said after a bit of silence.

Almost instantly, P1 could feel his chest tighten. His heart seemed to skip a beat once he realized that he was about to vomit his bottled up feelings to another person.

He began to wring his hands, looking at the ground.

"I'm not too sure how to phrase this, but..."

"I've been doing some.. thinking recently.. about myself and how I feel, and.."

He slowly raised his head up, looking at P4.

"If I tell you this, you won't freak out and get mad about it, right?"

P4 frowned. "Hey, I'd never get mad at you for anything. Whatever it is, I'm sure I can at least understand a little bit."

P1 sighed, a bit relieved at his response.

"..So, I've been thinking about who I am for a while now, specifically about my..gender..and.." He went silent, looking back down and beginning to pick at the skin on his face.

"Hey, if you don't want to continue talking, it's totally fine. We can stop right now if you're not comfortable."

P1 shook his head. "No..no, it's fine. I'm just..trying to figure out how I should say this.."

He took a deep breath, eyes still looking at the ground.

"I not..a man. I not a woman, either. I don't have a specific gender, I guess. Really, I'm just a person, if that makes sense. I don't like the way my body looks, and I don't like being perceived as a gender just because of it."

The room was silent for an uncomfortable amount of time, which made P1 worry even more.

"It's alright if you don't accept me, I just thought I could get it off of my chest without being judged and-"

He stopped once he saw P4 stand up and walk over to him, thinking he was about to get walked out on.

Instead, P4 simply wrapped the other man in his arms, pulling him into a hug.

P1 tensed up, hands at his side. His mouth hung agape, and his eyes widened.

"I understand. I understand completely. I'm not going to hate you just because of how you feel. Hell, I never have hated you, and I never will. Whatever it is that you identify as, I'll support you, no matter what."

And here comes the waterworks.

P1 felt a tear drop, and didn't bother to stop it. He sobbed into the older man's shoulder,and his hands made their way there as well. P4 patted his back as P1 uttered several "thank you"s.

After a good minute or so, P1 moved his head away from P4's shoulder, wiping his face with his own sleeve.

"Fuck, I must look horrible right now." He finally said, giving the other man a slight smile.

P4 pulled away, ruffling P1's hair and smiling back at him. "Not at all."

They stood in silence for a few seconds, neither person not really knowing what to say.

"So, uh, what do I call you now? Is Dude still alright?" P4 said.

P1's smile widened slightly. "Yeah, Dude is still alright. But, I'd prefer if you used 'they' instead of 'he' when you talk about me, if that's ok."

"Got it. So, you want me to tell the others? I don't want this to just be between us, and have them talk about you incorrectly." P4 walked past P1, putting his hand on the door knob.

P1 walked over to him. "Yeah, I think now is a good time to. I'll just stay in here while you do it."

P4 turned the knob, but stopped when P1 suddenly pulled him in for another hug.

"Sorry, I'm just...glad that you support me.."

He pulled away, and P4 grinned. "No need to apologize! It's common decency, really."

"Let's just hope these assholes can understand.." P4 muttered as he opened the door and walked out.

P1 closed the door, sighing in relief.

Being understood felt nice.

[deesi-academia]

how does one make friends on this site? do we just,,, suddenly say hi? idk i saw the worksheet wala post and i was like wait is that how you make friends? anyway heres what happened today

so i go to school in the morning, 7 am as usual and the entire class is empty as in, not a single person so i wait and wait and wait anxiously cuz i didnt bring my phone with me so idk if the classes got cancelled or... at 730 my dude comes and he's also confused about where tf everyone is so we talk to our class teacher and turns out everyone individually decided not to come cuz tomorrow's exam and we were the only 2 peeps who came

so they made us sit at the back of a 11th grade class (im in 12th rn) until 1030 (1030 is when our aakash lectures start- its integrated so aakash teachers come in the school to teach us) so for 3 hrs it was us sitting together 👉👈

we talked a lot and studied bio and solved some questions together, then spent time discussing yesterday's exam (aiats 😭) and stuff

and then our teacher came (we had botany class) and she was like, well at least my toppers are both are there and started teaching us anyway, so it was just the two of us, in class, for 3 hrs, with the teacher learning botany

p.s. when i say "my dude" we aint dating or anything, we arent even friends, we're just academic rivals who have excessive eye contact in the middle of classes

Omg anon hiii you simply make friends by stalking an account you like and being moots with them forever while rarely actually texting them lol-

YE MERE ALAWA SABKI LOVE LIFE ITNI PYAARI KYU HAI OMG 😭😭

Academic rivals who can become friends to lovers awwww and the eye contact hmm 👀

The only thing aakash did right is resulting in 2 cute toppers taking a class together. Periodt.

But honestly I'm confused, do you like the guy or do you think you like the guy-

[lostacelonnie]

Noelle is just gay as hell for lumine its a fact. You are correct both her hangouts are just them on dates. I always forget people use aether too & then see like. Hangout scenes with him or ayaka's forest scene with him in the inazuma story & go who tf is that oh yeah people pick aether & miss the gay shit. Abyss queen lumine supremacy real i know her jp voice doing abyss lumine is real good. I only know something about faruzan being in a cave for a long time. No context just that. They should give us a fish hangout i want my favorite weirdo to have one. Her & mona have been having real good interactions when they show up together. I read that comic in real time & it was a special kind of hell. I am also a dr fan but talk about it less. Ooooh nice! Ruin serpent isnt the worst honestly but it is slightly annoying. Cryo hypo was my beloathed now its rifthound boss. Had to fight it so much for yun jin & im still not done. Ahh thats entirely fair. I will look forward to your updates! Oh wait do you mean uh. Average avery on here when you mention avery? I dont think i saw a trailerbfor genshin but i did see ganyu & keqing & went alright ill play. & they keep adding hot women so here i am. Rpg style grinding is hard to focus on for me when i could simply not but i do it for my faves. Oh. Also glad to see you are a fellow rangers apprentice enjoyer

HI IM OFFICIALLY BACK FROM THE NORWAY TRIP SO UH. no more waiting 18395092895 years for a response. sorry about that. anyway rigghhhtttt??? its so funny that mhy by making the "canon" traveler male and trying to make his playthrough fanservicey to please That part of the fanbase they also made lumine playthroughs just. lesbian impact. THE AYAKA QUEST IS SUCH A GOOD EXAMPLE OF THIS YEAH. and SO true, gaslight gatekeep girlboss and yeah the jp va's are generally really good. yeah me too tbh??? and that she always calls herself "madam faruzan" and insists shes everyones superior??? no idea what thats about but she seems interesting. YES itd be so fun i can already tell. fish hangout when. SO TRUE i LIVE for the monafischl friendship. the way mona just. accepted that shes gonna get a Lot of weird nicknames. yeahhhh i uh. heard a lot about it. never had the motivation to venture in myself asjdkkgkjjskf. danganronpa rewrote my mind permanently tho. dark times. but i got a lot of friends from that fandom and even keep in touch with some of them. yeah ruin serpent is just kinda annoying, but i have personal beef with cryo hypostasis. the message ab the area round the ch being extremely cold is kind of a meme to me. OUUGH NOT THE RIFTHOUND...... RIP......... hate that one. tho i fortunately didnt have to grind it. and coming back to the trip, it was great! fed some reindeer. ate some reindeer. their meat is SO good btw. saw the northern lights. drove a dog sled. life is good. and yes i do mean average avery!!!!! shes my best friend 4 life. and fairrrrr tho for me it was uh. that one eula ad from a long time ago that got me into genshin? and now i main her so. lmao. i started grinding because of my everlasting love for bianka but now i have no life. rangers apprentice was my LIFE when i was younger omg. pretty sure it was one of my first ever special interests and GOD was it long. still love these books tho i havent read them in a While.

[just-a-floofy-catt]

OMG FLASHBACKS TO WHEN I FIRST JOINED THE DCA FANDOM

Aight

So

Storytime✨️✨️✨️

(Strap in, its unnecessarily long and takes a while to make sense XD)

Ive been into fnaf since literally forever, but never really took notice of the dcas until ruin came out.

I was mostly on the theory side of the fandom, having been in the more character focused part too when i was younger but drifting away from it over time.

Ruin released and i watched a playthough stream literally ON RELEASE HOUR XD

And i just absolutely fell in love with eclipse

I thought they were ADORABLE

Coincidentally, this was also not too long after i first got Tumblr

So obviously i started following all the new ruin stuff people were putting out here, including Eclipse art and hcs and everything else

Which led to me falling HEAD FIRST INTO THE DCA FANDOM

UNPREPARED

OUT OF NOWHERE

Never before them did i like characters that were similar to them so even i was just so hella confused as i not only discovered that so many people loved them

But also as i discovered that i was really warming up to them too

I understood liking Eclipse because he was actively helpful and caring and sweet, but i guess i just didnt see the appeal in the others yet???? XD

Never in a million years did i think that Sun and Moon would be characters id obsess over

But like

Here i am XD

But anyway

ONTO THE ACTUAL POINT OF THIS RAMBLE

When i first started realizing i was super invested in these characters, is when i saw alot

And i mean A LOT

Of people hardcore simping over Moons voice

At the time, i was so confused

"How tf are you guys attracted to this creepy evil creature and his ugly bald ass, with a weird scary voice? Hes so ugly and he sounds weird how are yall into this???? You guys are FREAKY 😭"

And oh how ive switched gears 💀💀💀💀🤣🤣

I have no idea how it happened

But over time without even realizing it, my view on the dcas was just totally changed XD

The more time i spent in the fandom sphere, the more i started to love them

And honestly, it also kind of changed me as a person on a few levels too??????

Like, my entire aesthetic has partially changed and evolved because of these silly guys

And alot of my views on some things (one of the main ones being gender, hilariously enough. Who would've thought a trio of robot jesters wouldve given me a better perspective on gender) and even on myself have changed (positively) because of this fandom, its fanfics and its fanart

And the type of characters and styles i gravitate towards has totally changed

I used to ignore or even straight up dislike anything jester or clown related, but now i absolutely adore it lmao

Ive even gotten much more positive and bubbly and energetic in general, which could just be correlation and have happened unrelated, but id bet its atleast partially because of my Sunny obsession XD

Like, all because of these characters and this fandom, ive grown and developed in ways i probably wouldnt have without it, and im actually really glad because i feel good about it, and, thinking about it, its probably made a positive impact in some way

And thats without even mentioning the wonderful people in the fandom ive interracted with and the events ive had the opportunity to take part in!

But yeah, so over time i did in fact grow to love the dcas XD

And i can now in fact agree that, yes, i LOVE Moons voice 💙💙

Even if i didnt always (or it atleast took a bit to sink in) XD

Am I the only one who thinks so, your honor?

[minniweekss]

sit your ass down this is a long one

idk what the fuck has been wrong with me lately but all i ever feel is rage. everything pisses me the fuck off. mom woke me up at 10:30, bad mood. yesterday i woke up at 1:30pm, pissed tf off. also dropped my coffee on my new shoes yesterday and then proceeded to knock my entire 24ounce tumbler of coffee off my desk and all over my fucking carpet so now im even more pissed off trying to clean this fuck shit up with stupid ass paper towels knowing that my carpet is now fucked forever.

now heres the embarassing part. my mom witnessed my entire rage fit. screaming, flailing, throwing shit around my room and quite literally destroying my room just because some coffee spilled on my run. quite literally was my last straw.

now lets throw it back to the 26th, my birthday. I wake up with fucking covid (didnt know it was covid until the 28th). My mom leaves for NC that morning. we were supposed to do a birthday breakfast but since i was sick she just straight up left and we didnt do anything. so i spent the weekend alone with mike. Friday night i spent alone in my room with my little piece of cake and Love Island. then i went to work the next day (with a mask ofc) and worked a 9.5 hour shift while swaying and seeing black spots. oh lemme mention it was opening weekend of the new deadpool movie so it was fucking busy to say the least.

Anyways this whole weekend im literally alone. me myself and i. mom comes back, suddenly mike is sick. guess what? she buys him soup, fruit, juice, medicine, literally anything he needs. When i told my mom i had covid and was taken off the work schedule for the rest of the week she told me i should have said my test was negative so i could work anyways. ma'am im fucking sick with a very contagious disease are you fucking fr. while you're letting mike sit here and act like hes on his fucking death bed. suuuuuure.

now lets back it up even more to the weekend before my birthday. i had to celebrate that weekend bc i couldnt get the weekend of the 26th off bc of, you guessed it, deadpool. anyways. we were taking this blacksmithing class that i had my eye on for MONTHS. now im the one in the group to be known as the fantasy/medieval lover. i was quite literally writing a book about a blacksmith so. I was extremely excited for this class and i was trying to keep up with pics and videos of the progress cuz it looked like none of my friends were taking videos. I noticed a few here and there but didnt really think of it cuz i was so focused on making my knife. we get out of the class and back home and im sending all the pics and vids that i took and they did the same, and there were a lot more videos than i thougt. not a single one was me. i dont want to sound like a bitch saying like oh record me im important, no. But i was very excited for the class and i was trying my best to get videos of my own progress and they literally saw me doing that and didnt think to get a video of me making it? every single person that was in my group got a nice video of them tinkering away, while im seen in the background of the videos.

like quite literally one of them got a video of her doing each fucking step. why tf was i being ignored. they were barely even talking to me dude they were all talking to each other and im over here like ok i guess ill just focus on my knife then. there were a lot of cool tricks i was doing with the instructor, but i couldnt take a video bc blacksmithing needs both fucking hands. and i was too embarassed to ask for a video. i feel like i shouldnt have to ask..... the trick we did was called a double strike. the instructor did it with one of my friends and literally everyone whipped their phone out for a video. then a few mins later he came up to me and asked if i wanted to try and i was so excited. it was making me feel like a orc in mordor or something i thought this shit was so fucking cool. anyway we start, and i look around and not one person is even watching. cool.

idk i usually really dont like photos or videos of me cuz i hate the way i look so much, but this is probably the one thing i wanted a video of and didnt get one. i should have fucking asked them to take videos but i didnt think about it until we were home and i noticed that everyone else got a video of themselves. i was like "oh!" so i couldnt really post for my birthday cuz i didnt fucking have any pictures to post. literally all i got is a group picture with the instructors.....

to be fucking honest it felt like i was the third wheel when it was my planned event. not even just an event, but my 25th birthday. i feel like ever since then ive been agitated and annoyed all the time, especially with my friends. im becoming short tempered with them now. i dont think its a direct correlation to the blacksmithing at all i think its cuz my attitude has been so sour lately.

this post is all over the place so bear with me ok. im gonna jump around a lot. another thing that sets me off is when i text my friends either questions or plans i need them to confirm and they take 5 fucking day to respond to me, like shit i dont fucking need it now. idk i just cant be friends with someone who wont answer my messages like how the fuck are we supposed to talk if you dont even respond. im talking to myself at this point.

and my close close friends do this to me too so its making me become more distant with them because my biggest mode of communication is through text. because realistically i NEVERRRRRRRR see my friends. its a once every three months event okay. so you cannot judge me for being a big texter and wanting my friends to respond to me. i really dont want to feel like im fucking begging for your attention. i shouldnt HAVE to beg for your attention. I pretty much have two friends i send everything to and they're both out of state so... i cant even get my fucking in state friends to talk to me.

all of this to say im angry and lonely. im always angry in some form, im like the fucking hulk bro it takes the smallest fucking thing to set me off. and im so lonely all the fucking time cuz as you can tell, my friends dont fucking text me, i dont have any siblings either so its like wtf do i do. The only time i get human interaction is at work with stupid fucking customers. also dont have a partner cuz i didnt experience romantic love in high school or college so i fear its over for me. 25, havent been in a single relationship. not even joking bro not 1. ive had maybe 3 people like me before: my friend in HS when i wasnt even romantically processing things yet, a dude from work who only wanted to fuck, and a friend from college who iced me out when i said no.

idk i think thats SO comforting only having 3 people in your entire 25 years to be interested in you. that i know of at least. but out of those 3, only 1 asked me out so its like ok. even when i go out with friends they're the ones that get approached or flirted with by everyone. like at blacksmithing dude the cute instructors were flirting w all my friends and then when they got to me they'd be talking all business... cool thanks i get it im ugly as shit ok. i dont think theres ever been a girl or guy in public thats even checked me out. girls dont even go for me so thats fucking great. idk dude this type of shit makes me feel like im genuinely ugly. i know thats probably not true but thats how i see myself and how ive seen myself for years. i have never liked my face. ever. its always been my biggest insecurity. when covid first started and we wore masks i was fucking thriving having half my face covered. i looked so much better.

cant even try dating apps bc im demisexual so i cant even build a connection like that. and this time is all about hook up culture and friends w benefits its like i dont want that shit bro. i want an emotional connection with someone first before it gets physical because im fucking scared. I already hate myself so why would i let some stranger see my gross naked body bro ew. i cant do this dating shit brother i am genuonely about to be single for the rest of my goddamn life. which might be the end of me considering no one can fucking afford to live by themselves anymore and i REALLY dont want to live with a friend and their partner cuz that would just make me fucking depressed about my own love life.

screw the fucking world. im over this stupid ass shit dude, people fucking suck. relationships suck. friends suck. work sucks. life fucking sucks. cant afford to do anything, 25, still living at my fucking moms house. its like im stuck int he same spot and not moving forward. time seriously stopped in 2020 cuz what the fuck do you mean im 25 and not 20. i lost sooo much time to the pandemic and it made me worse. it made me more anxious, more depressed, more scared to go outside and enjoy life. like i used to be so productive. I was going to school and working 40 hrs a week. and now im only working 42hrs a week and i can barely get out of bed on my days off.

as i get older it just seems like life gets worse and worse. like i dont see this picking up at all. i literally only see a downward spiral from here.

life is absolute hell that is only sprinkled with good moments. idk if the good moments are enough to outweigh the bad at this point. idek if i want to make it to 30. im so miserable here. i dont even have any family in this stupid state except my mom. llike i dont have siblings and i barely have a fucking family either. dont talk to my aunt or cousins, dont talk to my oma cuz she hates me, barely talk to my other grandparents bc they're insane. its like i literally only have my mom. ,everyone else i know can go swing by their cousins place and hang out or spend the night. ive never been able to do that. my aunt left the state two months before my mom had me. like literally everyone related to me has moved away. like if i was close with my cousins at least thered be SOME family i could actually talk to and be close to. nah dude. its just me and my mom, literally. that is so fucking sad.

god help me bro

[sethredia]

straight up i think period-induced anxiety is the worst. like i have gad so im already anxious constantly but it normally settles at a not-great-but-manageable background hum if that makes sense? but when im on my period that shit goes from like a casual 4/10 to a fucking 14/10 sometimes.

ill be already a lil spooked about x or y thing on a normal day but when im on my period? i cant fucking sleep because im thinking about it and my chest is getting tight and i can feel my heart rate kick up and i roll over and get on my phone to distract myself and yet i know im distracting myself so the distraction doesnt really work and on and on until its three am and i pass tf out

its more manageable when im at work, right, because theres Stuff To Do at work. there a Job Tasks and then Job Distractions which are, in their own way, a different form of job task to me. is it the same fanfic i opened the night before to read but couldnt get through because my stupid, chemical deficient, hormone-addled brain wont let me focus on it? yes. is it different now because im at work and work is an entirely different vibe so now i can get through that story (and maybe a few others depending on length)? also yes!

anxiety example: my boss texted me last night, or i guess now that its gone past midnight would it be the night before last?, and said (frankly very ominously? like even without the anxiety disorder it would be spooky methinks) “call me before you go in tomorrow” and i was like “oh shit oh fuck what did i do i dont think i did anything i mean i had a weird hiccup with counting the drawer out at the end of the shift because i was doing 18.50 in my head instead if 17.50 so i had an overhang of a dollar and so maybe me messing with the dollar while i was trying to figure out what happened showed up and looked weird on the cameras and she saw it and she wants to talk to me about it???” and so that morning i did all my get-ready things and went back into my room, grabbed one of my stuffies for emotional support in the same way i do to make dentist appoints and shit, and bravely called my boss

and then. she said she just wanted to check on if it would be safe to have us open the store because of the snow that night. she lives in the next town over where it snowed a lot (7.5 inches. she stuck a ruler in it and sent me a picture later lol) and wanted to check on road conditions and just a general vibe on it f whether people would be out and about (it snowed in my town 3 inches. if im being generous. most of it melted off before noon. according to my boss, it continued to try and snow where she was on and off all day. what a wild difference like ten miles does to the weather!).

i got so so so scared over like a dollar worth of figured out before i left the building confusion that my boss wanting to just. be a good person. was like nowhere in my thought process.

related but only slightly: i got freaked tf out over one singular dollar and had that shit figured out before i went home for the day, whereas my stupid fucking coworker who is like technically my manager (i think if i had to put a title on her it would be like assistant manager but idk she doesnt have a title on our work schedule but shes above all the team lead kids but i also am that but i know technically shes my boss and she makes ~a dollar/hour more~ than i do so ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ ) ALWAYS fucks up the drawers somehow. like our manager wants the end count on the drawer to be between $149.50-150.50. Why there is dont know but thats how it goes right? WRONG. every single time i come in and have to open a drawer after this lunatic has closed the night before, the drawers are over $150.50. it is not hard to stick another dollar into your bundle. drop the extra dollar. the drawer should not be at $150.75. drop the dollar. put it at $149.75 please god. this happened today on both drawers (small store; we only have two registers and only have shift overlaps on weekends and evenings so it works).

what Also happened today was that we have little paper slips that go into the drawers so you know what amount theyre supposed to be tallying out to when you count them next to know if everything is good or not. the paper said $150.65. i counted that fucker like six times, did the math on two different calculators three times to make sure it wasn’t me mis-hitting a decimal or something, and discovered it was actually at $155.65. five whole dollars. like im sure for a target thats not a big deal — still noticeable and youd absolutely get yelled at but like big picture and all — but for us thats a decent chunk! this woman simply does not double check anything she does regarding the cash drawers and it outrages me.

ALSO ALSO yesterday i counted out my drawer and it ended on like $150.30. within the boundaries. she put it in for the when the other closer came in. i left at 2:30, this other girl came in at 6:30, so somewhere in that four hours she recounted the drawer. we have a binder we write our numbers in for ~Accountability~. she wrote and initialed that it was at the $150.30 i counted it out to. this drawer, for the three or so hours its running that evening, handles no cash. written in the binder it has a big ol NO CASH written through in the Cash In and Deposited sections. the drawer closed at $150.75. where??? did that extra??? .45¢ come from??? and like what a weird amount too! thats not a two-quarter whoopsie, thats a whole mess of coins. four dimes and a nickel. a quarter and two dimes. other combinations im too tired to list. and like when i counted it that next morning it was at that $150.75. which is impressive, as the last time a NO CASH she wrote that had different starting and ending numbers, it turned out that there wasnt actually a difference, and that the original starting number was in fact still the amount in there. her ending number was also off by like .37¢ or something that time so like.

man. tell me you dont count out the registers properly without telling me you dont count them out properly.

anyway all of this is to say: periods suck and i hate them and i fucking wish i could sleep instead of worrying about what im currently worried about.

[formulawonu]

seventeen & drunk conversations

prompt: how svt would be in drunk conversations

a/n: hi i'm back and got kinda carried away... tag yourselves i'm a combination of woozi and lee chan 🤠

seungcheol: "i love you i love you i love you" "SAY IT BACK WTH" gets all pouty dkxhsjhb would also attempt to talk to you seriously about whatever is going on with your life <//3 big believer of a drunk persons words are a sober persons thoughts

jeonghan: "ha i knew u were a lightweight" "bet u can't take one more shot" DEADASS what an enabler u both would already be drunk and he'd still be challenging u to drink more. the competitiveness just jumps out i guess???? but it would be a fun night. 50% chance of tears if the mood is right

joshua: stopppppp he'd be holding ur hand or leaning his head on ur shoulder i know u all saw that tipsy dingo live. he'd probably also just be muttering stuff under his breath or singing along to whatever song is in the background he is my king of sitting pretty wherever and whenever he'd also be making sure ur ok

junhui: im sorry this man is in a whole other different dimension. u would THINK ur talking to him then realize mid sentence that he is just.....not there... he would probably think he's having a conversation with u but actually it was all just happening in his head and he was really just staring into the distance zoned out irl fml

hoshi: "yo yo yo listen to me im not drunk i actually love you" "IM BEING SERIOUS IM NOT DRUNK I LOVE UR PRESENCE IN MY LIFE?!?!?!?!?" everyone knows hes drunk. even he knows hes drunk. does it matter? no. he would also actually try to have a deep n heartfelt conversation with u:( pls value the mans drunk words they actually mean a lot and come from the heart :/

wonwoo: ok depending on the vibe he either gets even more quiet or hes literally just laughing at everything im gonna cry diusfkghjfj,cm (sorry that was my bias talking) like if it's a drinking situation where deep conversations are happening he's probably really internalizing everything going on and paying attention to whoever is speaking so he really remembers the moment but if its a fun drinking time he's 100% laughing at whoever tf is acting up and throwing sum jokes in here and there:/ HES TRYING HIS BEST OKAY

woozi: yeaaaaaaaa we got our resident sentimental drunk here 🤠 like he's kinda like wonwoo in the sense that he's really basking in the moment and noticing every detail about what's happening and who he's with but he's really just... a soft guy when he's drunk i think he'd be the type to take out his phone in the middle of the night to just write about how he feels/drunk thoughts in his notes just so he could think abt it when he's sober or potentially get inspiration from it :( brings up nice past memories n all... LEE JIHOON I LOVE YOU

minghao: he's just giggling the entire time and maybe just a lil more snarky... "sorry? did u say something? i couldn't hear u over the shot i poured out for u that u didn't take" would also initiate several group toasts and takes pics of u/whoever he's with to capture the moment. becomes more vocal abt his feelings in general actually. would 10/10 want to get drunk with minghao

mingyu: hes a flirty drunk stop it rn. opens all ur bottles/cans for u and hands it back to u with a wink, takes shots for u, has his arm draped across ur seat.... HES JUST NATURALLY LIKE THAT OK PHYSICAL TOUCH IS HIS LOVE LANGUAGE :/ its just even more pronounced when hes intoxicated. asks u ever so often if ur ok if u need water :/ "i'll take the shot for u just remember u owe me something" MOVE!!!!!!!!! but he's v receptive of u and that translates in how caring he is... ugh what a man

seokmin: byeeeee hes also so touchy. hes showering u with kisses and hugs. "i actually LOVE you though!!!!!! return my love!!!!" ur in for a long night if u put him and hoshi together. im being serious good luck. but he's suddenly down to do anything now - cook a feast? go night swimming? karaoke? he's ur guy. would not stop letting u know how much he appreciates and loves u:/ romantic or not:/ if hes sweet sober hes even more drunk:(

seungkwan: omfg he nags at u so much "ANOTHER SHOT?? REALLY???" "WHY ARE U ASSUMING I WANT TO TAKE ANOTHER SHOT" then takes the shot anyway lmao he'd be easier to fool into doing smth stupid to make everyone laugh bec he just wants good vibes n good memories :/ and he's even more doting on whoever he's with like he would 100% get u water and u could trust him with anything. my dream wingman for real he would know how ur feeling and how the night is going without any words needed. he is ESSENTIAL

vernon: he's the one finishing all of the snacks on the table while everyone is talking. he is pure vibes. nodding his head to whatever music is playing in the background and listening to the conversations going on. inputs here and there but hes happier going with whatever vibe is of the night. great person to have beside u imo if u wanna go crazy he'll jump with u if u wanna sit down and talk he'll do that too. might even share a cig with u if the mood calls for it. vernon is on my night out dream team as well

dino: THE LIFE OF THE PARTY!!!! like he doesn't even ask to be it -- he just naturally draws attention and everyone loves playing with him jiskfdhrkd "guys ive literally been the only one taking shots this isnt fair" "WHAT DO U MEAN I LOST THE GAME I HAVENT PLAYED" but he just goes with it because he wants a good time. however as the night progresses and the group gets smaller n smaller he starts becoming serious lee chan and tries to heart to heart with whoever is there. :/ he has a lot of valuable thoughts to let out so whoever is with him pls LISTEN!

[threepointseven]

I’ve got you hon! Mr. Fandango, Venti, Noelle and Venti with a shy and/or awkward photographer S/O that asks them to be their muse?

-🧸 Anon <3

Could you be my muse?

🌺summary!🌺- your a photographer, an extremely shy one at that and you cant help but want to take a bunch of pictures of your lover but how tf do you do that without dying from embarrassment

Type- HC’s 🌷

Flowers included!🌼= scaramouche x gn! Reader, Noelle x gn! Reader, Venti x gn! Reader

Note🍀= IM SO SORRY FOR MAKING SO MUCH TROUBLE AND TAKING SO LONG AAAAA AND THIS IS UR FIRST REQ AFTER SO LONG TOO SMH BIT I HOPE U LIKEY MWAH MWAH BYE 👊👊👊😋

Genshin masterlist

💐Your bouquet has been delivered <3💐

Scaramouche

- asking scaramouche to be your muse? To photograph him? Literally a death wish. He’s killed like 39 people you might as well be his 40th

- Your way too awkward to ask anyways, he always teases you for how socially inept you are and takes pride in the fact you can speak comfortably with him but this was a whole new topic

- Your a photographer, and you dont have that much satisfaction from taking pictures of just bushes and flowers. People are your favorite thing to picture.

- And dont get me started on how much you wanted to have a whole photoshoot with your boyfriend scaramouche. From the way his balanced legs walk to the way his slender hands bend and move his figure was something carved from the heavens basically.

- He had a small hunch youd been staring at him for the past week. Always gripping your camera harshly whenever you saw him.

- You wanted to drag him to your room and force him to pose his poses so bad but like you could barely ask him personal questions like where he lives how were you supposed to ask him to be your muse??😧😧

- It has gotten to the point where you couldnt take it and decided to awkwardly secretly take photos of him. It did not work out <3

- IT LOOKED SO CREEPY TOO😟😟😟 YOU WERE LITERALLY TRYING TO TAKE PICTURES OF HIM WHILE HIDDEN LIKE???

- He caught you and thought you were a spy and literally almost murdered you!! 😊😊😊 i could totally make the idea of him accidentally hurting you into an angst prompt but LETS NOT GO THERE

- You were trying to explain to him what you were doing before he snatched the camera out of your hands and started scrolling through the pictures with a smug on his face

“SCARA!! G-GIVE THAT BACK—!”

“Oh my~ someones being quite obsessive. You shouldve told me you wanted to take pictures of me instead of crawling around like a creep.”

- YOU DID END UP GETTING HIM TO BE UR MUSE. THE ENTIRE TIME HE HAD THIS STUPID SMIRK ON HIS FACE LIKE ☹️

- I swear your frothing at the mouth at those angelic poses he made.

- He’s a little shy but he really liked it and wants to be pictured by you again 😵‍💫😵‍💫😵‍💫 he loves those little praises you mumble about his appearance that he once hated as it resembled ei, his creator just too much.

- Because of all those praises and your mesmerized eyes when you get the chance to look at his bare body he learned to adore it, even if it was made by the woman that abandoned him.

Venti

- WHY ARENT U ASKING HIM??😦😦😦😦 He’d say “SURE!” In any situation🤨🤨🤨⁉️⁉️

- He was always so fascinated with your job as a photographer, always managing to make such seemingly bland things seem beautiful.

- You know he actually did offer to be your muse once, but in a whim or panic and nervousness you brushed it off and said that he’d probably move too much or something

- But good god you want to take billions of pictures of him. Have you seen his body? So sleek and youthful, you’ve fantasized about putting him in a white robe, posing him in ballet poses.

- Alas you just couldnt bring yourself to ask that hyper ex archon. You had a feeling he would say yes but the words just would not come out of your mouth.

- So what did you decide to come up with? Pacing around in your room with the camera in your hand practicing lines you came up with about how you want to take pictures of venti in a white robe and ballet poses.

- SURPRISE SURPRISE!! HE HEARD YOU🙄 that cheeky mf was listening the whole time smirking and laughing like a whole ass witch while you tried to say “can i picture you” without crying and fucking up

- So he does the most reasonable thing and barges into your room and starts to strip while shouting “OH OF COURSE YOU CAN MAKE ME YOUR MUSE MY LOVE—!”

- You slap some sense into him. Your blushing and stammering as he puts his clothes back on and shakes your shoulders shouting in your ear

“AWWW YOU WERE TOO SHY TO ASK ME HUH WINDBLUME?? OF COURSE YOU CAN PHOTOGRAPH ME WHY DONT WE GO TO YOUR STUDIO EHE~”

- you did infact get pictures of him and you were completely right, he looked ethereal. You shyly begged him to let you take pictures of him like this more often. You even bowed and everything.

- He accidentally deleted all the pictures while checking them out 😊

Noelle

- Noelle is probably the most inlove with your hobby ever. You were just as awkward and shy as her but she loved your work so much and it was one of the things that brought you together in the first place. Youd lend her your camera and let her scroll through the pictures and when she found her favorite she’d print it and put it up in a picture frame in a wall of some of your best captures

- Youve always wanted an excuse to have a photo shoot with her and finally! There was a huge photography contest which included contestants from all nations and you were a contestant. The competition was to take pictures of any sentient being and you wanted to take pictures of your favorite sentient being. Noelle!

- But you were just as awkward as her. Now how do you ask your precious girlfriend “hiya can i take a bunch of pictures of you in this specific outfit for a contest?” Without sounding creepy 🤔

- You’d ask her to take you to her combat missions and try and secretly take pictures of her while fighting off ruin guards and such but each time you tried you almost saw the man upstairs so you never did that again

- How she found out was you had left your studio with a frown on your face and she went in, seeing the camera on your table she toddled over and looked through the gallery, seeing multiple blurry pictures of her fighting and her just doing anything.

- Opposite to what you thought would happen if she did find out she didnt find it creepy and instead extremely flattering. You walked in on her squirming and wiggling at the pictures before blushing and stammering trying to explain yourself before just saying it outloud…

“THERES A COMPETITION AND LIKE— I WANTED TO TAKE PICTURES OF YOU AND SUBMIT IT BUT I WAS TOO SHY TO SAY SOMETHING—!”

- yall are so. Lovey. Dovey. 😧

“M-me?! But dear i doubt pictures of me are enough to submit for a competition—!”

- you two end up in a small little back and forth “your more than good enough for it!” “I doubt it!”

- You do end up getting pictures of her, in a cute little dress. Inspired by her original outfit with less “maid” features and more knight features. You took pictures of her in combat and she looks gorgeous. Each detail of the sword and her face was just perfect.

- You ended up getting first place and she got to see her fierce face held up in an art gallery for a little while!

- You also hung up the picture despite her protests and kissed away at her face to stop her from degrading herself

[tojikai]

Alright, but if Y/N is indeed pregnant, could you let her keep the baby? I saw the “mentions of abortion” tw but like please, I want her to keep it. I don’t even care if she doesn’t get back with Satoru in the end. I don’t know but I’m always so soft for babies.

So, I see that some people have this very visceral reaction to Y/N in this chapter, and guess what? I want to defend her like those K-Pop stans. I don’t care about changing their feelings about her but I just want to let them KNOW.

Y/N has made a mistake, a single one, and it makes her no different from Rie, the other woman, but seriously, Y/N is still far more dignified than Rie can ever be. Both committed a mistake. And then what? Rie decided to continue to live in La La Land and created more fuckery while Y/N did everything she could to not do anything wrong again. Y/N immediately told the truth to Suguru and Shoko while Rie and Satoru knew the truth but kept it a secret to save face or whatever tf. After the cheating, Y/N was firm with Satoru about not getting back together with him while Rie went ahead and accepted Satoru’s advances despite feeling guilty.

I saw someone say Y/N is bad at decision-making. LIKE WHERE??? Unlike Rie, Y/N made all the right decisions for someone in her position. They are a foil to each other and the entire series shows how different they are as a person by showing what they decided to do after making a mistake. Like are you being serious with me now? But I don’t know, maybe you read this series with your eyes close or smth, and you simply refuse to see that. Rie and Y/N are the “same” in this situation but overall, as a person, they are not.

LOL, alright, sorry for going off like that, I’m Y/N's biggest fan as you can tell. She’s not me, she’s my precious baby 🥺.

All in all, thank you, Kai, for this chapter! Oh man, this series is going to end soon. What a ride it is! I can’t wait to see how this will end. I actually can’t believe that you just started writing when you created this blog. You’re so good??? Coincidentally, I was an English Major too LOL and I wish I was as talented as you. Once again, really enjoy this update. Looking forward to the next and have a nice weekend, okay? <3 (2/2)

you know what, YOU'RE HEAVEN SENT. im so glad u pointed that out bc there's an ask in my inbox that seems to be downplaying rie's actions yet enraged by what happened between yn and satoru. i cannot bring myself to post it bc it stressed me a bit LMAO, it's like they just skimmed through every chapter and paragraphs. like they didn't pay attention to the contexts and hints that i put it in there. i mean we all know what yn did was wrong, i am not justifying it and that is why yn's facing the consequences now. yn acknowledges it and is doing everything not to do it again, unlike rie who stood tall and straight despite knowing that her new rs is a product of betrayal. i just … dont get what they're fighting for. really.😭 LMAO and im glad u mentioned this bc i was having a really hard time thinking where i lacked explaining in the story. i understand that there are still things which are unclear right now. but that's why we still got 2 more chapters left😭

anywayssss, omg as usual, that was an amazing read !! 2 more weeks and this series is over 😭 this is the longest one i've written yet. and yeah i started writing on april 19, wrote home and posted it on the same night😂thank you so so much and omg you're an english major too !! im sure you can write fics as well, u just have to start !! your reviews and analyses are GOLD, never fails to amaze me how you always get all the points that im trying to get across in the story. im grateful for all of them and for your support, you're amazing, thank you sooooo much !! <33 i hope you're doing great~