#i just rotate them in my brain
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i think if i were to commission something of grant it would have to be him exhausted, with massive bags under his eyes and a dead stare.
or like. his big, uncut meat stick.
or both. depressed but at least there's that
#anyway i also want to write more of him like... in a good mood#ch: grant hawke#been on a big grant muse kick recently#him and val and also giddy#i just rotate them in my brain
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Fictional old men are taking over my life
#my posts#this post is about gravity falls#i finsibed another rewatch today#im just so#im#im feeling things#i didnt think id be kinning an 80 year old man#stanley btw#i like ford more and that is probably pretty in-character for someone who relates to stan#there is something wrong#also im watching jjk now#nanami gojo and geto arent TECHNICALLy old men#but like.... cmon#older than me currently men#its not even like i want to date them.or anything#i just rotate them in my brain#so a formal apology to any mutual who has stuck around my ungrateful ass#youre gonna get hit with SO much
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"mithrun is the only real monsterfucker in dungeon meshi" is objectively the funniest bit you can get out of his everything, but in all seriousness i think his attraction to his love interest is deliberately overstated—and that makes sense, because romantic jealousy is a classic and digestible motive, which is explicitly what kabru was aiming for in condensing mithrun's backstory, and also because until chapter 94, mithrun wasn't willing to admit to the true nature of his desires.
but because romantic envy is both classic and digestible, it probably isn’t a unique enough or complicated enough desire to tempt a demon’s appetite. mithrun’s wish, as far as we can figure from kabru’s reduced retelling, was to have a life in which he had never become one of the canaries, and that carries like 3857 implications and desires within it. that’s delicious. his love interest acts as sort of a red herring to his motivation for making it, though. (side note: i'm saying "love interest" here because, keeping in mind that i barely speak japanese on a good day anymore, "想い人" is something i'd usually take as just kind of an old-fashioned and romantic way to refer to a lover, but in context i wonder if both the connotation of yearning and the vagueness are intentional, and i think this phrasing gets those aspects of it more effectively. anyway.)
mithrun considered his love interest to be untrustworthy. there was a minute where i thought that comment might be about a similar-looking elf (yugin, one of his squad members), but comparing the two…
the "sketchy" arrow is definitely referring to the elf we know as his love interest—the bangs go toward her right, she only has the one forehead ornament, and, most notably, her ears aren't notched.
every time she’s given a full-body depiction in his dungeon, she’s drawn as a chimera, with the body of a snake from the waist down. (side note: the “what if a dungeon has chimeras before reaching level 4?”/“then the dungeon lord is unstable” exchange just being mithrun grilling his past self alive is so funny. he’s so. but anyway) there are a couple things about this.
first, the snake part of the chimera appears to be modeled after some species of coral snake mimic
which, in the biology-for-fun manga, i… doubt is a coincidence, especially with the added context of the “untrustworthy” comment. the dungeon’s conjured illusion of mithrun’s love interest was a harmless copycat of a venomous original. for whatever reason, he felt this person was a threat and made up a "safe" version of her to be in a relationship with, and while it’s definitely possible to be attracted to or even love someone you find to be toxic and/or intimidating, when you take that into consideration alongside the configuration of her body, you get some interesting implications.
which brings us to our second point: if we assume that mithrun was not in fact fucking a snake, then sexual attraction, at least, was so far removed from his idea of a relationship with this person that he did not even bother to keep her dungeon copy human enough to maintain the illusion of the option of a sexual relationship. this is somewhat echoed in the depictions of their interactions, which also imply a frankly unexpected romantic distance. she kisses his cheek and he doesn't seem to react; she's at the edge of a narrow bed with only one set of pillows, on top of his blankets while he's underneath them.
the kiss is particularly interesting because it seems to contrast the text. kabru's narration tells us this was everything mithrun could have asked for, but mithrun is there looking unreadable to pensive, likely because this is right before the panel that makes it clear things in the dungeon are beginning to go wrong.
walking through this backwards for a minute, we have the physical barrier of his bedding and the spatial separation inherent in a bed made for one person, the emotional barrier of his mounting anxiety getting in the way of his ability to enjoy the affection he sought, and... the snake, which historically carries the connotation of temptation, yes, but also mistrust, barring physical intimacy. okay. ok. if a dungeon reflects the mentality of its lord, all of this might suggest that mithrun was not able to have any real desire for a relationship with this person. his unwillingness to be vulnerable or let another person in was insurmountable. but in that case, why was she such a focal point that she remained to the end, after his dungeon had stopped creating iterations of his friends to come and visit him? why would he get so upset over her meeting with his brother that he became lord of a dungeon about it?
well. mithrun's brother was also interested in her, probably genuinely. and mithrun had to win.
you have an older brother who your parents completely ignore, probably in part because he is chronically ill/disabled and almost definitely in part because he received a ton of recessive traits that resulted in rumors that he was an illegitimate child. you are aware, most likely because those same parents fucking told you, that you actually are an illegitimate child. but they keep you around because you had the good fortune of looking just like your mother. what can that possibly teach you but that you, like your brother, are disposable?
it's utterly unsurprising that mithrun, under these circumstances, developed a pathological need to be better than everyone around him. people don't keep you otherwise. i'd argue this is also why he says he looked down on everyone he knew while milsiril claims his dungeon reeked of feelings of inferiority—he sought out people's worst traits and prioritized them in his mind to protect his already extremely fragile sense of self-worth, and all the while he tried to be as likable and high-performing as he possibly could be. his parents disposed of him anyway, but even then he tried to keep up the performance. he was kind to everyone. he never once lost to a dungeon.
when he saw his "love interest" meeting up with his brother, what he saw was himself being replaced by a person his parents had always treated as worthless, and if that was what they thought of the child they'd kept, what value could anyone possibly see in the bastard they'd given away to die? mithrun and kabru tell the story like he wanted to win this unnamed elf's heart, but it was never about being with her. it was about cementing his worth, proving that he didn't deserve to be thrown away.
and so it's particularly cruel that his demon discarded him, too. but maybe it's also particularly gentle that, in the end, there was someone who refused to even consider giving up on him.
kui laid it out in three panels better than i could hope to.
yeah. it's love. you wanted to be loved, even when the only way you were able to understand it was through the desire to be wanted, and you wanted that so badly that the idea of being consumed felt like the promise of finally mattering to someone.
#dungeon meshi spoilers#mithrun#dungeon meshi#this has been rotating for a while but i wanted to check my evidence before getting into it thanks user angelspenance for posting that meme#half of this is just the text and the other half i'm sure has been said before but it's making my brain [radio static] so here this is#someone did for sure mention this but i do find it very cute that in his fucked up conjured world meant to portray his ideal reality#his teammates came to visit him. like part of the fantasy was then explicitly that they cared about him and were his friends. even though#he says he tried to see the worst in them.#hm it does feel important to note that i do also believe 100% in mithrun suicidality--his desire to be eaten does seem to focus a lot on#wanting it to be Over. wanting not to be left incomplete and empty anymore.#but that loops back around a bit to the hole in your heart that appears when you feel unloved. it's many things and the same thing at once#snakes#long post#severe problems#meshy
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trigunned the hades or hadesed the trigun (id in alt)
#trigun#trigun maximum#nicholas d wolfwood#vash the stampede#meryl stryfe#milly thompson#millions knives#ruporas art#type of shit ive been on lately bc ive been playing an obsessive amount of hades 2 lmfao… ofc imstead of drawing fansrt for hades#i channel that energy into trigun?😭 SEE.. the thing is. i am ALWAYS thinking about a trigun game… like an action story game#it is rotating in my brain 24/7 and now after 7billion years i finally pick up a video game#and the inspiration sparked. obviously this is just a mere mimic of an existing media... but im thinking about the plot of max now#executed differently between mediums… webbing a new retelling of the original story as game mechanics allows you - thinking of the#new roles the characters would take. like wolfwood here is not Constantly by vash’s side but he will show up once a run to clear out an#encounter. shows up seldomly at home base to make gifting difficult... an existing companion and still journeys on his own. for more#relations options merylmilly will also have occasions where they separate so vash can speak to them individually - the gungho are not bosse#most of them get the roles of giving “boons” i think.. BUT ANYWAY thats me reimagining trigun into hades. now imagining trigun into an#ORIGINAL video game.... ough... ohhh....guhh... I WANT IT SO BAD!!!!!!!!#this was just a fun exercise... im thinking about doing more but i think i shouldactually draw some hades 2 fanart first
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charles and edwin are both malewives, just in a different direction.
edwin is masculine in a peacock way, charles is feminine in a punk girl way. charles is the embodiment of "my husband is a bitch and i like him so much". edwin's cunty wine aunt disguise can crotchet and probably judges the fashion section in vogue magazine on a -1 to 6 scale. charles' guyliner and his pins would get him a free pass to the lgbt club even at the stage of a self-proclaimed ally. it's a good thing ghosts don't have to open doors, because they would try to hold it for the other forever, being downright annoying about it. their petname game would be sickening to the outside world. charles would call edwin 'mate' on their literal wedding. and don't even get me started on anniversaries, they would race to the kitchen and fight over who's wearing the pink frilly apron and is making breakfast in bed (the breakfast is play pretend; the apron is not.) last but not least, they'd both kill at drag
#honorary u-haul lesbian relationship#throwing them up to the ceiling like ken dolls and catching only half of the time :3#dead boy detectives#dbda#payneland#edwin payne#charles rowland#painland#dbd show#marcela watches dbda#you don't have to agree with me obv i just have a very specific rotation of their orbs in my brain
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happy pride month to these two in specific <333
#critical role#critical role fanart#dorym#dorian storm#orym of the air ashari#cr 3#bells hells#critical doodles#im shit at drawing kisses but god do i try......#anyway manifesting aeor is for lovers for these two big time#sorry they've just been constantly rotating them in my brain#ever since dorian came back#i woke up like a fuckin sleeper agent
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ehehehe!!! boppy
#trolls#trolls fanart#trolls branch#trolls poppy#broppy#trolls broppy#transfem branch#sketch's sketches#i love them ur honor#i was watching the movies and just rotating them in my brain#the dancing one was inspired by signed sealed delivered bc i fucking love that cover#ya! ya#dreamworks trolls#sketch's critter trolls
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my favorite father that stepped up
#orv#omniscient reader's viewpoint#kim dokja#omniscient reader fanart#shin yoosung#lee gilyoung#kdj#sys#lgy#biyoo#listen i have so many emotions abt them#rotating them in my brain#kdj just keeps adopting kids and it breaks me every time#he is the FATHER#berry art#also the kids being lil shits and clinging to him constantly i love them#guys I know he left for milk and returned 3 years later I KNOW
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Our Flag Means Death 1x4 | 1x6 | 2x6 | 2x7 ⇉ if the bed nook could talk...
#ngl it's driving me bonkers a little that ed was about to kill stede IN the bed nook like behind the curtains#and the scene is filmed so erotically??#the lighting and ed's low voice when he says “scary as hell” and the hand he gently places on stede's back#and instead of killing stede he relives his trauma related to killing#and stede takes care of him so so gently and that scene is ALSO very intimate#they could've just as easily put jim's shadow show in the bed nook and ed's hiding place in the library nook but no#they put ed and stede together in the bed nook#and it's the only other time they're both in there with stede drawing the curtains closed BUT we're behind the curtain with them#sorry this just set off a lot of thoughts on my latest rewatch aksdhjsk THERE'S SOMETHING THERE#also i know i made a similarly themed set with just the 1x4 and 2x7 scenes but the “murder attempt” scene being one of these 4 intimate one#with the two of them together in there#idk i've been rotating it in my brain#ofmd#ofmd s2#our flag means death#ofmdedit#ofmdsource#ofmd gifs#ida.stuff#ofmd 1x4#ofmd 1x6#ofmd 2x6#ofmd 2x7#edward teach#stede bonnet#blackbonnet#gentlebeard
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Chilchuck analysis speedrun: As a hardworking half-foot who grew up poor and discriminated against and had his gullibility taken advantage of multiple times in his early adventuring days, Chilchuck thinks optimism is a dangerous flaw. He’s stressed and strict all the time because his job is noticing details like traps that could get everyone killed before anyone knows it, he takes the lives of everyone to be on his shoulders, and with the way he speaks about it that probably partly reflects how he felt about taking it upon himself to provide for his family too. His life’s always been pretty centered around work and has become even moreso now that his wife left and everyone is independent, and due to past events he’s very iffy with bonding with coworkers. He thinks feelings and job are a disaster mix. Like with his wife or with parties hiring him as sacrifice, being open or having good faith is vulnerability which can get you hurt, so he processes and shows all his stress as anger instead of worry. Doing strict dieting probably isn’t helping the irritability what with hunger, and on top of being a hunger suppressant alcohol might be the main stress reliever he has.
His grey hairs are so earned
#Chilchuck tims#dungeon meshi#analysis#HAPPY CHILCHUCK DAY#You know what yeah understandable have a good day#Alcohol be a ticket straight to chilling out town I suppose#Spoilers#dungeon meshi manga spoilers#Thinking on if I should split my family masterpost into diff posts for max reach hmm#I’m def editing in the second page into that post that “I’ve got three people to think of here” sounds sooo much like that’s#how he’d think about it in a family setting as well. He works so hard for them 🥺#I could have put 100 pics on this post to justify everything I mentioned but this is a speedrun for a reason. I’m planning so many#compilations rn i need a break from rereading lol#He’s just here to do his work!! He just wanna do his work!!!#I’m always rotating him in my brain like rotisserie chicken :( Hopefully this doesn’t sound disjointed or insane to average readers#He’s always on his guard so he has a short fuse and his type of humor & liking for snarky remarks doesn’t help#Also bc he knows nothing lasts he has a very work hard play hard mentality where ‘dying doing something you love. Like drinking’#is nice in his opinion#This post makes it all sound so dry. Chilchuck is so messy thinking about him is thrilling I swear. This is concise but at what cost…#OH ALSO he has weird self-hate issues where he really values his skills but devalues himself on a personal level.#‘I am a coward. I only care about myself. I cheated on my wife (lying for no reason)’ etc etc#Can’t disappoint people and make them leave you if they already have no expectations and esteem of you 😏💡#Laws are important to him bc he knows how bad punishment is if you break them and how they’re the key to getting better rights
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The guide fweheuhuieheueuhehehhehehiheh
#isat#in stars and time#in stars and time spoilers#isat bonnie#in recipes and repetition#randomized isatswap au#They aren’t canon in IRAR as far as I’m sure but i’ve seen them tagged with it so just in case…#headcanon is that when they are big brain thinking really hard their four chest dots spin like a loading screen#Like I imagine them and bonnie having a serious talk about allat jazz with wishcraft and the king and why they’re stuck and blehblehbleh#And then bonnie just points at their chest in the middle of the conversation and is like “why is your tummy rotating” -_-#Also i just love their design a lot like the dots are from the shirt and the flaring wrist from where the bracelet used to be…#And also tail. Tail = peak loop design instantly#And also also the tail looks like somethin between a red giant and a black hole whICH IS ALSO WHAT THE HEAD LOOKS LIKE RAHHHHHH#i dont wanna yap on but i love this design so much its so bonnie and it just makes sense everywhere#yehheheh#my art
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someone: mentions second chances jane: immediately looks at lisbon, then quickly glances away
#so very normal about this#i'm rotating them in my brain at all times#it IS about second chances and fighting your way back from depression and misery to a life that you enjoy with an open heart and i just-#they!!!#the mentalist#simon baker#patrick jane#teresa lisbon#robin tunney#tmsource#jisbon#tmedit#jane x lisbon#bisexuality#mentalistedit#<3#blorbos from my show#slowburn
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Decided to give Dragon Age another try and the first character I meet COMPLETELY wins me over in a matter of seconds-
#AND HE KEEPS GETTING BETTER- Alistair you singlehandedly pulled me back into enjoying video games and DRAWING- how dare you#dragon age#alistair theirin#alistair dragon age#dragon age orgins#fanart#my art#doodles#sketches#i have a very simple and obvious favourite character type and BOY OH BOY DOES HE DELIVER--#also gave me just the tiniest Stanford HWBF5 vibe so when I say i was sold in seconds I Mean It™#im still at the relative beginning of the game so i bet there is more fun to come but!! Fun to have someone to rotate in my brain again!!#100#tags here are a love letters to our lovely boi and i livr for them-- 💕#200#hello i love all of you - this is slowly becoming my favourite post just because of how nice it is to read your excitement over this boi :³#AND IM RIGHT THERE WITH Y'ALL i just need my real life to calm down for a second so i can draw more of him--#300#400#500
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thinking about transfem sanji and "apparently-bisexual-now" zoro.
Sanji comes back to sabaody post ts with long hair and fem presenting, yet kicks zoros ass even harder than before and he's immediately smitten.
Zoro who's never been attracted to a woman before, but now all he can think of is sanjis long hair and pretty eyes and "yeah, okay, I guess this is it now."
#Rotating them in my brain so bad#They make me so ill I need to be shot#Also yes this is implied t4t because of course#Trans zoro 4 the win#Zoro thought sanji was hot before but now she's back and just so much more comfortable and confident with herself and zoro is STRUGGLING#Like she's so vibrant and happy and he's like#Like so in love he can't even begin to understand it. Just knows that Sanji is strong and pretty and kind and he's so lost on her#He looks at her like she's the sun itself and the crew is so goddamn tired of them#Op#one piece#Zosan#Sanzo#transfem sanji#T4t#sanji#zoro#Not tagging transmasc zoro because it's not said in the post but just know that it IS implied
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Obsessed with what America and England have going on in HetaOni. America's like "I keep having to watch my dad die from overusing his magic in past timelines and not knowing how to stop it is killing me inside but I'm not going to talk to him about it" and England's like "I can't seem to hold a conversation with my son without insulting him but I won't hesitate to use my dying breath to ensure I can protect him from beyond the grave"
#good morning i still have hetaoni on the brain#that scene where it looks like america's going to die but turns out past loop england used the last of his strength to cast a shield on him#(+italy and germany) before sending them back to the present.... godddd#and then current loop england goes and takes on the monster america was worried about and succeeds. at the cost of going blind.#one of the very things america was afraid would happen!! he was so relieved when england survived the fight before finding that out too!!!#i don't know if this is coherent im just. they care about each other so much even though they won't say it and 😭😭😭 it makes me ill#sigh. rotating both them and hetaoni in my mind at the same time makes me so. waaughh#(also obligatory disclaimer that hetaoni doesn't label their relationship in any way them being father and son is just canon in my brain)#hetalia#hetaoni#hws america#hws england#tea dad n coffee son#personal#i have an old hetaoni wip fic that i think i intended to do more with but was mostly just about america and england as far as i got...#i can't remember the rest of my plans for it so maybe i'll shift the focus to them and try to get it finished sometime
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You know what. Why do we as a touhou fandom not talk about the fact the pc98 songs are canon. They exist. In canon. Akyuu has them documented and has probably heard them. Someone within touhou's universe wrote them. Reimu could probably actually listen to her own theme. Were the songs actually written about the events of those games?? Was eternal shrine maiden written about reimu?? Was love colored magic written about marisa?? I'm going insane
#i could rant for hours about the fact there is a band in universe that apparently wrote them#thats mentioned in akyuus untouched score and pmiss#i might make a longer post about this eventually im just. obsessed with this fact#ive been rotating this in my brain for over a year i have so many thoughts about it augghhh#im just. honestly not super confident talking about my interpretations of obscure touhou lore#since im kinda worried that ill be wildly misinterpreting something#especially considering i cannot read japanese and translations arent always reliable#but god. i havent seen almost anyone talk about this and i think the implications are very very interesting..#touhou#touhou project
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