#i just rotate them in my brain

[ustalav]

i think if i were to commission something of grant it would have to be him exhausted, with massive bags under his eyes and a dead stare.

or like. his big, uncut meat stick.

or both. depressed but at least there's that

[icaruspartharmony]

Fictional old men are taking over my life

[shadowtraveled]

"mithrun is the only real monsterfucker in dungeon meshi" is objectively the funniest bit you can get out of his everything, but in all seriousness i think his attraction to his love interest is deliberately overstated—and that makes sense, because romantic jealousy is a classic and digestible motive, which is explicitly what kabru was aiming for in condensing mithrun's backstory, and also because until chapter 94, mithrun wasn't willing to admit to the true nature of his desires.

but because romantic envy is both classic and digestible, it probably isn’t a unique enough or complicated enough desire to tempt a demon’s appetite. mithrun’s wish, as far as we can figure from kabru’s reduced retelling, was to have a life in which he had never become one of the canaries, and that carries like 3857 implications and desires within it. that’s delicious. his love interest acts as sort of a red herring to his motivation for making it, though. (side note: i'm saying "love interest" here because, keeping in mind that i barely speak japanese on a good day anymore, "想い人" is something i'd usually take as just kind of an old-fashioned and romantic way to refer to a lover, but in context i wonder if both the connotation of yearning and the vagueness are intentional, and i think this phrasing gets those aspects of it more effectively. anyway.)

mithrun considered his love interest to be untrustworthy. there was a minute where i thought that comment might be about a similar-looking elf (yugin, one of his squad members), but comparing the two…

the "sketchy" arrow is definitely referring to the elf we know as his love interest—the bangs go toward her right, she only has the one forehead ornament, and, most notably, her ears aren't notched.

every time she’s given a full-body depiction in his dungeon, she’s drawn as a chimera, with the body of a snake from the waist down. (side note: the “what if a dungeon has chimeras before reaching level 4?”/“then the dungeon lord is unstable” exchange just being mithrun grilling his past self alive is so funny. he’s so. but anyway) there are a couple things about this.

first, the snake part of the chimera appears to be modeled after some species of coral snake mimic

which, in the biology-for-fun manga, i… doubt is a coincidence, especially with the added context of the “untrustworthy” comment. the dungeon’s conjured illusion of mithrun’s love interest was a harmless copycat of a venomous original. for whatever reason, he felt this person was a threat and made up a "safe" version of her to be in a relationship with, and while it’s definitely possible to be attracted to or even love someone you find to be toxic and/or intimidating, when you take that into consideration alongside the configuration of her body, you get some interesting implications.

which brings us to our second point: if we assume that mithrun was not in fact fucking a snake, then sexual attraction, at least, was so far removed from his idea of a relationship with this person that he did not even bother to keep her dungeon copy human enough to maintain the illusion of the option of a sexual relationship. this is somewhat echoed in the depictions of their interactions, which also imply a frankly unexpected romantic distance. she kisses his cheek and he doesn't seem to react; she's at the edge of a narrow bed with only one set of pillows, on top of his blankets while he's underneath them.

the kiss is particularly interesting because it seems to contrast the text. kabru's narration tells us this was everything mithrun could have asked for, but mithrun is there looking unreadable to pensive, likely because this is right before the panel that makes it clear things in the dungeon are beginning to go wrong.

walking through this backwards for a minute, we have the physical barrier of his bedding and the spatial separation inherent in a bed made for one person, the emotional barrier of his mounting anxiety getting in the way of his ability to enjoy the affection he sought, and... the snake, which historically carries the connotation of temptation, yes, but also mistrust, barring physical intimacy. okay. ok. if a dungeon reflects the mentality of its lord, all of this might suggest that mithrun was not able to have any real desire for a relationship with this person. his unwillingness to be vulnerable or let another person in was insurmountable. but in that case, why was she such a focal point that she remained to the end, after his dungeon had stopped creating iterations of his friends to come and visit him? why would he get so upset over her meeting with his brother that he became lord of a dungeon about it?

well. mithrun's brother was also interested in her, probably genuinely. and mithrun had to win.

you have an older brother who your parents completely ignore, probably in part because he is chronically ill/disabled and almost definitely in part because he received a ton of recessive traits that resulted in rumors that he was an illegitimate child. you are aware, most likely because those same parents fucking told you, that you actually are an illegitimate child. but they keep you around because you had the good fortune of looking just like your mother. what can that possibly teach you but that you, like your brother, are disposable?

it's utterly unsurprising that mithrun, under these circumstances, developed a pathological need to be better than everyone around him. people don't keep you otherwise. i'd argue this is also why he says he looked down on everyone he knew while milsiril claims his dungeon reeked of feelings of inferiority—he sought out people's worst traits and prioritized them in his mind to protect his already extremely fragile sense of self-worth, and all the while he tried to be as likable and high-performing as he possibly could be. his parents disposed of him anyway, but even then he tried to keep up the performance. he was kind to everyone. he never once lost to a dungeon.

when he saw his "love interest" meeting up with his brother, what he saw was himself being replaced by a person his parents had always treated as worthless, and if that was what they thought of the child they'd kept, what value could anyone possibly see in the bastard they'd given away to die? mithrun and kabru tell the story like he wanted to win this unnamed elf's heart, but it was never about being with her. it was about cementing his worth, proving that he didn't deserve to be thrown away.

and so it's particularly cruel that his demon discarded him, too. but maybe it's also particularly gentle that, in the end, there was someone who refused to even consider giving up on him.

kui laid it out in three panels better than i could hope to.

yeah. it's love. you wanted to be loved, even when the only way you were able to understand it was through the desire to be wanted, and you wanted that so badly that the idea of being consumed felt like the promise of finally mattering to someone.

[ruporas]

trigunned the hades or hadesed the trigun (id in alt)

[bucket-of-cheese]

Celebrating 1 year one the stareater discord!! I couldn’t be more grateful for the friends I have made on there!💛💛 (plus this is the new stareater banner ;)

[idliketobeatree]

charles and edwin are both malewives, just in a different direction.

edwin is masculine in a peacock way, charles is feminine in a punk girl way. charles is the embodiment of "my husband is a bitch and i like him so much". edwin's cunty wine aunt disguise can crotchet and probably judges the fashion section in vogue magazine on a -1 to 6 scale. charles' guyliner and his pins would get him a free pass to the lgbt club even at the stage of a self-proclaimed ally. it's a good thing ghosts don't have to open doors, because they would try to hold it for the other forever, being downright annoying about it. their petname game would be sickening to the outside world. charles would call edwin 'mate' on their literal wedding. and don't even get me started on anniversaries, they would race to the kitchen and fight over who's wearing the pink frilly apron and is making breakfast in bed (the breakfast is play pretend; the apron is not.) last but not least, they'd both kill at drag

[electric-plants]

trying soooo hard to be normal about the “claiming to know everything about mydei” line but can’t stop thinking about how phainon is probably the only person who knows mydei’s weak spot and how that probably DOES currently make him the person who is closest to knowing everything about him

[theartingace]

he is playing chess, she is winning at chess and running the entire ship <3

more blorbo doodles because I love them and they deserve to just hang out

[oddthesungod]

happy pride month to these two in specific <333

[barksbog]

i have this disease that makes me buy and play aquarium games to an unhealthy degree

i would give a review of my hoard but my enjoyment is subjectiv and sometimes they are objectively janky and bad and i just enjoy them so much

[skribblepup]

Blorbo

[amethyst-halo]

ehehehe!!! boppy

[kaiserouo]

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ghost is so excited it dumps its arsenal in the house

[lovelydrusilla]

someone: mentions second chances jane: immediately looks at lisbon, then quickly glances away

[knockknockitsnickels]

Something which I think is kind of under-discussed regarding the Princess is how lonely she is, esp in contrast to you (the player). From the start of the game, you're never alone. You've got the Narrator - despite how questionable his company is - and the Voice of the Hero, then slowly all of your other voices. She doesn't have that. We see in Princess and the Dragon, every time a new loop starts she's completely alone with only the thought that this is what she deserves. You're the only thing she has.

Shifty asks "Why wouldn't I be kind to you? You're the only thing I know which isn't me." And we see in the game - with some exceptions, like the Witch - the Princess' goal come chapter 2 is always to have your company. Sometimes it's to subjugate you, like the Tower, and sometimes it's for help escaping, but she's almost always seeking your companionship in some way.

But you've got your voices, and the Narrator. You never really needed her, did you? I'm thinking about PATD again, where you can spend the whole chapter bonding with her only to immediately turn on her the second you get your body back ("Good to be back, boys"). In the final cabin at the end of the game, the Heart Princess can mention the whole conflict boils down to whether Shifty (and by extension, the Princess herself) "should" get to exist. If you kill the Heart Princess, you've still got your voices. There's no ending where she lives on alone. I don't think she'd even WANT an ending like that.

She just makes me very sad. You're the only thing she knows, and in some routes you're just. Relentlessly cruel to her.

[berrysquared]

my favorite father that stepped up