#i just remembered i forgot to add a part

[erinwantstowrite]

what are your thoughts abot how Damian and Tim's relationship is portrayed in most fanfics?

personally, although I like the angst part of their relationship I wish there was more fanfics where they're closer and have real siblings dynamic (like u know they 'hate' eachother but they would destroy anyone who would want to hurt their brother)

oh, boy, do i have a lot to say about this one. buckle in, folks.

i feel like a lot of the time, if they're in a fic together and the fic author doesn't like one of them, the other is going to be mischaracterized to hell and back. sometimes... both are mischaracterized.

i'm all for a fanon interpretation of a character- obviously, because i have fanon interpretations in my fic too at least a wee bit- but sometimes it goes too far and it no longer feels like we're reading about the same character

let's talk about Tim.

Tim doesn't have a good view of himself or his standing in any emotional aspect. which is often misconstrued about him believing that he was Jason's replacement (neither he nor Bruce thought this, but it was Bruce's fear), or that his worth as Robin wasn't enough. that's not true at all. i'll say it again here: Jason didn't nearly kill Tim at Titan's Tower, nor did he go there to kill Tim. and Tim fought him back. he even told Jason to his face:

"you can't be that good" "I am."

he knows he's a damn good Robin! he trained with the best, he helps lead the YJ! he doesn't doubt that he was the best person for the job. but when it comes to the emotional aspect of Robin, i think this is where Tim stutters

this is because of how Tim's parents showed their affection.

i think canon neglects that aspect of his trauma, which is why so many people hang onto it. in the comics, Tim is shown to have a lot of friends both in and out of suit. he's abrasive and isn't afraid to ask the hard questions. but he is riddled with self worth issues. his parents were barely around him, they didn't know him well at all. and they loved him, but from a distance.

Tim now sees himself as someone that can receive love from a distance. he is incredibly self reliant, and has been from a young age. he sees all of his accomplishments as obligations. he does well at school because he had to. he takes care of himself because he had to. and in his mind, taking up Robin was partly another obligation. he does his job well because he has to, and he might doubt this sometimes like anyone else, but at the end of the day he is confident in his ability to get shit done.

now, the emotional part of Batman and Robin is where i believe i enjoy a fanon interpretation more. he actually does have a good relationship with Dick, but I'm not too sure about Bruce at this point. this topic is nuanced because Batman writers make him so diabolical at times to the point that i would consider it ooc. but other times they're very close and Bruce admits this. so i replace it in my head with a more stable and realistic version that i've seen written by fic authors very well.

Tim views himself as someone who is there for a job: help Batman. but there is a lot of wonder and awe there. his favorite Robin was Dick. (I'll say this again so everyone hears me: his favorite Robin was Dick. yes you are allowed to have nuance and put Jason in there as someone he looked up to as well, please do. but put some respect on Dick's name!) now that he's working with Dick Grayson, someone he admires so much, as well as getting the honor to wear the Robin suit, he feels more like himself than he has in years. he's good at this, and it's also fun. he meets so many people and he gets to make a difference in the world. yes, it's a job, but it's also very freeing

he never did this be Bruce's son, or to replace Jason. his relationship with Bruce started off extremely rocky, with Tim forcing himself into his life in some way because he believed that Batman was going to get himself killed or get someone else killed, or Batman would cross the line. and Gotham would lose the only person who had such unwavering optimism for them. he and Bruce come to an understanding of being partners but not father and son. Bruce doesn't want to open himself up to that hurt again. but we all know Bruce, and that's not what ended up happening. Bruce would never be the same person he was before, but he is not incapable of love.

Tim would not understand that change. I'd get more into this but i don't want this post too long and i wanna save it for when i'm not supposed to be sleeping and when i'm writing one of my Tim fics for once. all we really need to know is that Tim's emotional intelligence is dogshit, and him coming to see Bruce as a father, and Bruce seeing him as a son, would baffle him. because his parents love him... at a distance. and Bruce sees him every day. that's not how it's supposed to work, right?

so.

sometimes, Tim is treated like a porcelain doll who can do no wrong. many aspects of his canon has been altered by fanon to be "worse" than it is. his neglect by his parents did, indeed, happen, and it affects him deeply. but his parents weren't like. beating him, or leaving him without food or shelter or supervision. Tim was clever enough to get around that supervision all on his own. which is why they should have been there in the first place. (they should have been there regardless). and emotional neglect is still a very real issue??? no one has to make it "worse" by making the Drakes out to be monsters. i think Jack often emotionally manipulated Tim when he was around, and I don't know if Jack was even aware that he did so. (which is why i can see some people delving into that nonexistent relationship that DC gave us, and finally giving those implications more depth. there are a lot of good fics that go over this)

often it's hard to read a fic for Tim because they go too hard into making Tim an anxious shy ball of sunshine. Tim is weird, and he stalked the Bats, he stalked Nightwing, he broke into Titan's Tower before he even became Robin. he's a weirdo. he fits right in with the Bats for that reason. some people make him out to be the victim or some kind of damsel in distress, and sometimes we get to see a phenomena where other characters talk like a book about emotional intelligence that their therapist gave them. which is... fine, if you're just writing to write it, maybe helping yourself. but let's take a step back and see Tim is not like that. he is a very capable person, and his not some "uwu, woe is me, i'm so shitty at everything and if you even look at me wrong i'll cry." i honestly believe that Tim is the type of character to hate crying in front of someone and even if he was actively dying he'd be holding back those tears.

whereas Damian? gets the opposite treatment??

granted, i don't actually know too much about Damian, but i at least try to understand him and his background

he's the youngest of them, and i think many people forget that Damian isn't a reader of the comics like we are. he wasn't going into that family with the emotional connections to these characters and their backstories like we did. he was taught about these people, the idea of them. like how we could be taught in class about people from a long time ago. and i can ensure you that Damian was not taught proper emotional intelligence, nor would he have the best grasp of it himself when he was younger than 9 years old. imagine all of your teachers and also your mother told you about these people and their accomplishments, and then told you that the person all of them look up to is your father. the person that you want nothing more than to know, to see, because the people around you talk about him so highly. someone you haven't gotten to meet yet, because you aren't "worthy." can you imagine being told all your life that you are not worthy to see your father yet? and not knowing if he believes that too?

but one day, you are going to be by his side as his son. i don't want to get too into the culture of the Al Ghul family because i don't actually know that much (i'm sure someone would know more about this, feel free to add on if you want to), but this is important to Damian. it's important to his mom. it's important to his grandfather, the leader of an extensive organization that stretches hundreds of years.

then he gets dropped off in a different country, culture, language, and family and he finds that things are not as he had been told his entire life. his father has many flaws, they do not believe the same importance of a blood tie as his family back home does. they question his entire upbringing to his face many times, they question his mother who he loves deeply. he's nine years old. imagine yourself in that position. you don't know yet what role you're playing in an adult's life, but you want to. desperately. you want to know where you stand. you want a hug. not to mention that Damian actually is a very emotional kid. he was taught to shove that deep, deep down, and not let that out.

too many people write Damian as if he was a "feral" kid which is kind of not something to put on him? i don't like it both because he wasn't feral, he was an asshole. there's a difference. and because it feels like a microaggression?? at times?? because once again... the culture that he is from... is important.

they have been racially profiled for many many years... and yes, everything that you read is political whether you want it to be or not. the act of reading is political. you should definitely be aware of what a writer's goal is when they were giving something to you. you should be reading deeper. again, i'm not from his culture and i can't say if it is an insult/insensitive joke or not, nor am i saying everyone who's made the joke before is a bad person. i have made jokes about Tim being a feral kid before and whatnot. i'm saying that no matter who you are, it is your responsibility to think critically about your media and kindly about other people. it feels uncomfortable to me because i know how wrongly the Al Ghuls (specifically Talia) have been treated by writers in the past. and Damian is an extension of that bias. just look at how many times they try to push Ian Wayne on us. or how they'll pull back on Damian's character development when talking about the Al Ghul family.

this probably isn't my topic to write about, at least not before i learn more about it. but since i get a fair amount of viewership, maybe someone will listen to me that won't listen to someone of color that has already pointed this out many times. with the comics fandom, and Batman fandom specifically sometimes, people don't care to think further about why the characters of color are so often and conveniently left out or forced into an archetype. take that as you will

so! he has spent his entire life believing he had to live up to two great legacies, both of which are VERY different. the intricacies of the Al Ghul family are often boiled down to pure evil by both fanon and canon writers, which dulls Damian's resolve and reasoning for what he had done, or makes it hard to connect to him. he has since learned more about who he wants to be and has come to respect his family in many ways. excuse me if i'm wrong, but i think part of why Damian came so hard for Tim was because Tim had everything Damian wanted. he had a place by Batman's side as both his son and his partner, and was very well respected by Batman and Nightwing both. he's older, more mature, he has stature in both this society Damian now has to fit into and within the family dynamic. considering Damian grew up in an assassin cult that solved threats to their dynamics or positions in power by murder, it wasn't a far leap for a child from that environment to make. he was modelling what he had been taught his entire life.

think about the mistakes that you made as a kid. and i don't mean something silly or funny now, i'm talking something that makes you feel ashamed. embarrassed. hurt. something that perhaps now as an adult, you reflect on as being totally uncool. and i want you to think about if maybe your environment had a role to play in that. maybe you made an insensitive joke that your mom or dad would have found funny, and someone pointed it out and reasonably made you feel like a jerk. shit happens. but you hopefully grew from that.

now imagine that mistake was you hurting someone.

yes, he was annoying. he was bratty, at times. he could be a little calculating shit. he hurt people with both his words and his weapons. Tim obviously had many many many reasons to be upset about his treatment- but I fear that most of his anger ended up directed at the older people in their lives that were supposed to be the ones to do something about it!

and though i hate that Tim went back to being Robin (it feels redundant), i have seen panels that show that the two of them working side by side after Damian and Tim both went through some life and perspective altering events both together and alone, has made Tim see Damian as his little brother, and vice versa. Damian has grown so much and many people just... don't care. no matter their reasoning for hating Damian, it's unfair to not look further than those cutting words written decades ago, or to bring up his mistakes every time you want to be mad at him. and i think it does a disservice to Tim to make him a bleeding heart about this when he has clearly forgiven Damian and cares about him. he rags on Damian like any older brother would, and Damian makes remarks like a younger brother would. personally, i think the two of them are doing pretty good right now

the development of their characters is actually so interesting within the canon aspect, even if they can fumble the ball every now and then. and the mischaracterization takes away the value that their canon relationship has. i personally love reading fics that have Damian and Tim teaming up. in aus where one thing changes and Tim and Damian become brothers later, i think it's actually so silly and fun when Damian respects Tim or thinks he's cool. or even without the au aspect! just like, a fic where the two of them are working together and it's either silly or serious, Damian having a begrudging respect for Tim and Tim being protective over Damian, etc etc, is sooooo much fun

[cogneartive]

“i dont like drawing barok van zieks hes hard to draw” unfortunately for me i am a true castlevania geezer

[pineappleudh]

*You shouldn't have done that.

@floofanflurr

Stumbled across this DTIYS and decided to give it a go, with some creative liberties obviously.

It was really fun, ive never drawn in the undertale battle style before so i was surprised at how easy it felt, granted it still took a little while but nowhere near as long as i expected.

So, uhh, yeah. Papyrus is cool, challenge was fun, hope you enjoy.

[aliusfrater]

re nick's post + his tags + my tags. i feel like although the parentification was definitely on dean especially re taking care of sam but there's a level of... mental abuse in the dynamics of his arguments with sam as well as how he treated leaving sam alone while he and dean hunted regarding the fact that sam and dean are his sons/children until john's actions become abuse. and dean definitely adopted/emulated/acted on behalf of it; suddenly sam was the one responsible for tacking the family back together despite john kicking him out or to dean, sam and john's arguing was also suddenly sam's responsibility to stop or end or upkeep a level of respect within despite the parent-child dynamic. this also feeds over into sam's guilt and forgiveness and faith complexes and it's also how the dynamic of sam choosing the winchester familial dynamic over anything else works. basic john-sam enjoyer lore, sure, but what's particularly interesting to me is that it's kind of similar to the way the sam vs sammy dichotomy works. sam is john's son that's infantilised and needs to be protected Until someone raises their voice vs sammy is dean's little brother that's infantalised and needs to be protected Until sam encroaches upon him

[c-kiddo]

it feels like a lot of people look at him and go ‘teehee my fav who’s committed war crimes!! <3’ but. only want to appreciate him as the archetype of ‘vaguely problematic fav’ and not actually engage with the specific things he’s done. i woke up like 5 seconds ago so maybe that’s not worded perfectly but that’s the vibes i get if that makes sense

no dont worry i get what you mean, that is kind of the vibe. and to be fair i feel like the cast kind of ended up doing that later on too, like after that plot was done the reaction is Aw he's such a problematic little baby hotboi (typing that feels like when adults call a dog a doggo i hate to say it but it pains me) lets draw him as a chibi eating soup. like no he was able to get away with what he did (giving away the beacons, working With ikithon and ludinus and igniting a war that destroyed sm peoples lives), frame another innocent man for it who ended up tortured and given to the empire as a prisoner too, lied to all of tmn about it to their faces, putting them in danger by asking them to retrieve the beacons for him when he knew where they were and who had them. . he got away with this (in the plot, to the cast and fandom) because he's a young, attractive, extremely wealthy, privileged and politically powerful man. like ?

[sega-saturn-arcade]

i think about this sometimes but I post content of mes that are different from the canon. I draw specific things with me. sometimes if i’m proud, i share it with a wider audience. i think it should be a “who cares” because it’s ME, but I worry about how people will interpret my infodump or my art.

i have always been a big, big advocate for media literacy and looking into characterization deeper and understanding a character from another perspective. i think people dumbing down a character to, “awhh wehh my sweetie he’s nice deep down he’s just mean on the outside” especially when it’s a villian makes me rip my hair out.

But it’s different when it’s kin stuff. Maybe the person portraying themselves like that is because they DID feel that way.

But I can’t draw something or infodump about my life and state, “by the way this is me and how i acted i’m not just disregarding the canon character i promise” every time because outside of kin spaces people don’t take kindly to fictionkin

because i acknowledge the canon character. whether or not i go “well that’s wrong and actually they [i] wouldn’t do that” it’s still somehow weaved into the canon character’s behavior because i still do my best to understand it

and the other issue is like, the whole “just make an oc at that point.” But i’m NOT an oc. I am the guy, even if i remember being vastly different. there’s not a point in drawing kin art if im not drawing ME, is there?

i just wish to not come across as someone who ignores the canon and thinks they know better about the media when they just really do not put the care to learn jack shit about the media they’re consuming

[jitteryjive]

i need to remake my cup bros ref… both cup and human designs… it’s been almost a year(?) and i’ve developed the headcanons and i would like to share with the class!!! (i wrote thirty tags. Please help me)

[bumblebyaf]

all the times ruby rose caught me off guard aka scenes that made me love her more (v1-9) 

[meatriarchived2]

MEATRIARCH OVERVIEW.

m'kay so -- mostly putting this together as both a quick look for new faces & a lil' refresher for those who've been following for a while but also as a general overview on not just how i run things but also on my muses, their portrayals, some blog updates, and so on! ♡ meant for clarity & hopefully ensure there's no confusion about certain things i may mention on the dash but always feel free to shoot me a message / ask for anything further! ♡

MARIA AURORA FLORES.

starting off with my main girl, my pride & joy, my sunshine incarnate. i write maria as someone very warm & with a whole mess of love to shower on those she cares about. she is achingly sweet, doting, affectionate; she adores her friends, adores her mama & sister, has a complicated relationship with her father. i've done quite a bit to flesh her out beyond what gun's put out for her in the slightest & i love where she's grown over the months since adding her onto the roster. she is my main / primary muse -- so know i constantly yap and ramble about her, i have headcanons and lore posts sprinkled all over the blog & the archived blog. i love & adore her as a muse and she's become both incredibly special to me & easily one of my absolute favorite characters to write as. that being said, with how much i've added to her, i view my portrayal of her as more oc at this point than a character of gun -- unfridged my girl, yanked her away from them and took off with her lmao alot of what i've built with her was both greatly helped by the dynamics weaved together with my affiliates / mains' portrayals which i'll get to later on ♡ but know some things may not carry over into interactions between my maria & any duplicates of my affiliates' muses!

ANA FLORES.

i haven't gone through much writing for ana yet -- but know when i do speak of ana in a general sense on here? i am specifically referring to my own ana & my personal flores' family lore! if i refer to other ana's in future posts i'll most likely note so either by, for example, ' renee's ana ' or if its to that point in plotting, then with a dynamics tag on the post! otherwise assume when i'm yapping about ana in general i'm referring to my own portrayal of her by default! c: ( note that all you cute ana mutuals are still more than welcome to interact with posts about her / her & maria / the flores' ♡ just something to keep in mind if i refer to her in a general sense in posts! )

DANNY ALEJO - OSORIO.

ya'll may know our just some guy danny by gun's canon of him -- danny gaines. the danny here however is technically my own portrayal of danny gaines that i developed before he was officially dropped & we got his last name. should i interact with others writing danny gaines? i'm completely gucci with considering my danny & gaines as entirely separate characters!

* correction : i now consider danny to be entirely severed from guns danny gaines and is, now, an oc fully. he is entirely his own character. otherwise, the speedrun of danny is as follows : danilo alejo-osorio is mexican-colombian, befriended maria in their early teens. he comes from a broken family with a very fractured & a.busive father, his mother returned to colombia and started another family there believing he'd have a better life staying in the states. he went through a very rough period hanging with a real shitty crowd of so-called friends, got into a shitton of fights, broke into homes and businesses with them, stole shit, broke shit, just in general not great influences. a break-in went wrong, his "friends" scattered, and he was arrested when the police showed up, and spent time in juvie for it. none of those friends ever came by. his father didn't, none of his family did. maria, her mother and ana, instead, were his constant visitors. and it was her coming to see him, her encouragement and push for him to do better is what finally made him realize he needed to turn his shit around. at the point of maria going missing & the house, danny's going to trade school by the southern coast for ship & underwater welding courses & training. he & maria are best friends. he is her ride, die, kill. gun noted once upon a time how strong dannys' devotion to her is -- my danny is very much devoted to her. he would kill for her without hesitation -- and not in his dire au's, even, but just in general. danny would do anything for those he cares about. any of the friendgroup.

THE FLORES FAMILY.

my personal take / lore is as follows basically : papa flores ( ramón ignacio ) & mama flores ( carmen ainara ) were long-term sweethearts whose marriage and little family seemed perfectly ideal. however, the closer that their eldest daughter, maria, got to her teen years, the sicker carmen started to become. she attempted to keep it under wraps, hush-hush from the girls' to not worry or scare them. but she was diagnosed with a lung disease ( p.ulmonary f.ibrosis fingerguns @ silver for same braincell lmao ) that is considered ( esp in the 70s likely ) to be terminal. while the girls' weren't aware of her being ill to that degree, ramon fully was. and the stress of coming to terms with his wife being sick and finding out that she may eventually pass due to it, so he claims, "caused" him to start an affair. carmen does find out, and ramon removes himself from the flores' family home to move in with his affair partner. maria, being forgiving and more gentle-hearted compared to ana, attempted to still paint him in a positive light so that ana wouldn't resent him. tried to give him the benefit of the doubt -- that he at least still did love them all. that he'd keep the promises to still be active in their lives, still show up when he said he would -- however, there's only so many excuses, so many promises broken, so many calls never ringing through, before that hope crumbles. ana would witness both her mother & maria deal with their fathers' heartbreak through closed bedroom doors, and it'd only make her despise him more for it. when maria later goes missing, ramon returns to try and help in whatever ways he can -- and ana is very unreceptive to him being there. he lost his chance in her eyes to play "dad" to them. and she makes it known clearly to him how much she resents him and reminds him he's got no place in their family, anymore. that he's there ONLY to help find maria and not to expect shit from any of them.

THE HEWITTS & THE SAWYERS.

by default, i say a giant fuck you to the difference in continuity's when it comes to the family! i write the hewitt's as an extension of the sawyer ( or, slaughter ) family tree. the hewitts & sawyers connected when luda mae married charlton hewitt sr. luda, in my personal canon, was born into the family through one of grandpa sawyers' many kids' he's taken in over his long-fuckin'-ass lifespan lmao alot of the family dynamics that are my canon here stem from lamb & i's back & forths. i find blending the various iterations of the family -- from originals to remakes etc -- as all just extended families to each other alot easier to work around and opens the door to more interactions with canons' from other versions of tcsm! c: i'm currently slow-piecing together a family tree of the hewitt-sawyers based on that blended concept. to the sawyers, luda is referred to by aunt or grandma ( sometimes ma luda, even ) and thomas is referred to as cousin tommy.

THOMAS & THE TITLE OF "L.EATHERFACE".

i was going to make this its own post but i'll add to this one instead. but with the idea of the hewitts & sawyers being just on massive family unit? of course there's the question of how the fuck do both thomas & bubba ( or other iterations of LF ) work then? i'd argue its primarily due to the fact that those who don't personally know them both don't know their actual names, and simply refer to them by the most notable feature -- the masks. with my thomas, yes, he does take faces of victims and he does wear them. however. thomas' skin condition -- flesh-eating disease / tumor growths on his face -- is why he wears his animal-leather half-mask. that half mask is his primary mask. he is almost always wearing that or varying versions of it. when thomas DOES skin someones' face to wear? it is almost always out of rage. hatred. it's done to intimidate. to unsettle. its from back in september but, one of my thomas' replies to kels notes this about thomas! the masks of both animal & human leather are still very much a part of thomas as i write him -- but, when it comes to the hewitt-sawyers being one family unit & thomas & bubba co-existing? "l.eatherface" becomes a title in a sense -- two giant motherfuckers who wear masks?? they get confused for one another. despite thomas being arguably much larger both being beefy & being 6'9 compared to bubba. they both don't really stray far from home. how often do outsiders get a chance to see them both separately let alone close to one another? likely not a common sight. it'd be very easy to spot one of them and then assume they are one in the same, honestly. that's how i go about things here, at least! it ties into more, again, of the back-&-forths lamb & i have minecrafted especially but, i'm all for altering that for specific interactions for those who don't want to meddle with all of that! (:

NANCY.

spooky momther will retain what her abilities have grown into by my personal headcanons across the board! however there are certain points to how i portray her that, from any posts about her i've made, are tied into lamb's johnny and so know that there will be differences in how she may be with other johnnys! i'm all ears to how different nancy & johnny's relationship can turn out! if theres anything i feel overlaps with other dynamics of theirs, i will let you know and we can work something else out c:

GENERAL PORTRAYAL NOTE.

mentioned it already but : all muses here are very heavily canon-divergent & built out from their canon lore by my own brainrot going wild with them all. with that in mind, i do just about consider each of my portrayals of these muses as my own oc's at this point with how much i've added onto them / built them up from literal nothing like in maria's case. i'm more than happy to either adapt how i write any of them to better fit into anyone elses' takes! and i'm more than happy to welcome more into the brainrot that i've minecrafted with the flores' or the hewitt-sawyers etc! that's something to come from plotting however! if we haven't really spoken ooc / etc then i default to a more general vision of the characters for the time being. i'm all up for taking different routes with new writing partners so please don't be shy about reaching out! c: if theres anything that conflicts with pre-existing personal lore of mine or is too similar to plots or dynamics i have already, i'll let you know and try to offer alternatives!

AFFILIATE PORTRAYALS & RELATED AU'S.

i have a few writing partners who i am affiliated with & with their respective tcsm canon muses. kels' leland, rae's connie, & lamb's johnny -- when i refer to leland/lee or connie or johnny in general on my posts, do know i am specifically referring to their portrayals as my general lore across my blog takes their muses & the dynamics built between them into account ♡ like i mentioned in ana's lil section, i'll start to make note in posts when i am referring to duplicate johnnys / lelands / connie's / etc for when im mentioning others' portrayals specifically! by default though i am always referring to my affiliates' portrayals when i post c: just wanted to clarify that though in case it was at all confusing or unclear ♡ affiliate verses here are as follows so far : - cold case ( cc / maria's dire au ; with lamb's johnny ) - no one saved you / we saved us ( nosy / wsu / maria & leland's joint dire au ; with kels' leland & lamb's johnny ) - oath binded ( maria & johnny's red string & reincarnation au / with lamb's johnny ) and then the still babiest dire au for my danny, - choke chained ( with lamb's johnny ). these verses, for me, are strictly worked with lamb ( & with kels for nosy/wsu ) -- meaning i'm not writing in them or doing similar au's with other portrayals of johnnys or lelands! again in case i haven't been clear on it before and it causes any confusion or anything! ♡

MARIA & JOHNNY.

i am not going to be shipping maria in any romantic / intimate sense nor am i open to any prolonged captive plots & interactions with other portrayals of johnny sawyer. those types of dynamics & interactions i've decided from this point on to close that for my maria to lamb's johnny ( @johnnysslaughter ) ♡ there has been a lot of plotting & build up between my portrayal of maria & lamb's portrayal of johnny and their varying dynamics across verses / au's and their different trajectories. and because of how many different iterations of their dynamic has been pieced together, i personally am not going to be taking other plots / dynamics with other johnny's that fall under the same umbrella as the dynamic between our maria & johnny do -- again meaning, i personally won't be shipping romantically / intimately nor will I take on plots that run parallel to cold case / no one saved you re: maria being taken captive for a prolonged period of time with other johnnys. alot of this decision on my part is very much due to how much we have developed them together -- another big part of it is my trust & comfort level with lamb to explore those dynamics between maria & johnny. this doesn't mean we are exclusive to one anothers' portrayals -- i am happy to write with other johnny's! and lamb is welcome to interact with other maria's! but from this point onward, i will only ship maria & johnny with lamb. ♡

[system-architect]

thinking about the mlm and transmasc rep situation again and i think the thing that gets me about it is how exceedingly easy and completely inconsequential it would be for a single writer to just sprinkle in a bit of rep. like a bulk of the queer rep we already have is via random npc dialogue out in city maps or festivals or something and is not even voice acted. you literally have to change NOTHING and dont even need to pay for extra voice lines to just change a single pronoun or word in some npc's pop-up text from "girlfriend" to "boyfriend". this is not a replacement for centered, featured representation with actually memorable chararacters played by queer actors or so on, but it'd be SOMETHING and it's amazing in a sad way that we have like actually nothing right now

[alaskacoolkid1]

Weird olimar design with vocaloid inspo

[fiendslothful]

Huh. That sure was a movie.

[shwarmii]

i never realized Viktor was missing from Disenchanted Fashions before (or at least tumblr isnt showing him) and i am having so much fun with that bit of freedom towards his wardrobe jfc

[ily-no-romo]

So true!!! And in my writing specifically, the autistic influence and aroace influence often overlap in how I write friendships. Because I’m aroace, I tend to want close friendships with people or a queer platonic relationship. And because I’m autistic (with mostly neurodivergent friends), I don’t really understand what a ‘normal’ friendship looks like to most people. Not just the the closeness but the timeline and way of looking at another person.

something they don’t tell you about being autistic is that every character you write WILL end up autistic/autistic-coded whether you like it or not

[coffeebanana]

some things i've been thinking about (this was supposed to be separate ideas but now i guess it's a rough fic outline in bullet points kasdbfksbjd):

marinette telling adrien the truth YEARS later, after everything's settled down and the butterfly's been recovered and their identities are revealed

maybe they live together. maybe he was getting ready to propose

after his initial shock, anger, time he needs to process, mostly he just wants to understand WHY she lied

when she tells him the she just couldn't bear to hurt him any more than she already had to by telling him his father died, and some part of adrien sees that as his own failing--surely if he'd been stronger, if he'd been the kind of person she thought could handle the truth, then she would have given it

maybe they go to couple's therapy. one of the exercises they're given is to practice honesty with each other and marinette goes... a little overboard

adrien thinks it's sweet, at first. until he realizes she's scared to leave a single second of her day unaccounted for. she's stressing out because she forgot to tell him something minor and he doesn't want him to think she just decided not to tell him something again

he realizes just how much she's been beating herself up about this all these years. just how much she's always loved him despite her mistakes

he remembers the ring he has stashed upstairs

and maybe it's not the time for proposals. but all he can think is that even at their worst, he still wants forever with her

of course, he's never been one for keeping his affections to himself. so he tells her.

it's not a question, it's not an offer. it's a fact: I want to spend the rest of my life with you. i want to marry you. she looks at him like he's crazy, so he pulls out his ultimatum. but i need you to forgive yourself first

all these years, marinette's been secretly awaiting her punishment. secretly awaiting having to pay for what she's done. forgiving herself was never on the table

do you forgive me, she asks in a quiet voice

i don't know, he says, and marinette's heart sinks until he adds, but i know i want to

and in the end, it's not so hard for him to get there. for him to forgive one decision she made under the worst possible circumstances. one mistake in the midst of all the ways she's made him feel safe and wanted and loved. all the times she's held his hand or helped wipe his tears, all the times she's let him do the same for her

when it comes time to exchange vows, for better or worse is already something they've agreed to

[charliemwrites]

Hiiiii! So I’m not super thrilled with this but I’ve been having a time of it at work so I worked on this when I could 🙃

Not sure if there will be a second part yet tbh we’ll see!

Edit: almost forgot to add that the gorgeous divider below is by @gildui they have some absolutely beautiful cod themed dividers.

Carrion

Reader comes back Wrong

Content: implied/referenced torture, injury, suicide reference/implicated “pact” (by background character), lack of wound care

The breakup was bad.

Not in the top 3 of Simon’s worst nightmare-inducing memories - but likely top 5. He certainly wakes up chest aching and eyes burning often enough for it to be a solid contender. He’s haunted by tears that dripped like acid and the cracks in your voice deafening him.

On bad days, he thinks he can still see you shuffling down the halls, eyes sunken and red-rimmed, dark circles and chapped lips. Anger giving way to resignation giving way to pain and sadness. The rest of the team tight-lipped and wincing, no sides taken, shoulders and ears offered equally in commiseration.

Your misery wanted no company, though.

You didn’t tell Simon that you were leaving. Gaz let slip over a subdued but obligatory game of cards, you’d be gone for a long time - loaned out to Laswell.

Simon didn’t go to see you off. Didn’t ask why you were leaving or accuse you of being too immature to be on a team with him. He didn’t wish you good luck, stay safe with the rest of the team on the tarmac at 0-dark when you took off.

He should have.

Price says you’ll be gone for six months. Just six. It’s better this way, he reminds them when Johnny balks. His eyes are on Simon, though, when he adds that you need to get your head on straight, and you weren’t able to do it with them.

So. Six months.

Simon stops expecting you on his left. Stops smelling your shampoo lingering on bits of clothes he pretended not to notice you steal. He still dreams about you begging him not to push you away.

183 days come and go.

On day 184, Laswell sends word - your temporary team likes you quite a bit. They want you to stay on for one more month… one more mission… one more…

Six months turns to ten.

312 days since you left; since you were home.

The team hasn’t stopped leaving a space for you at their tables, right between Gaz and Price. You miss your own birthday. Laswell says she’ll pass along well wishes.

The situation changes. A target resurfaces. All hands on deck, including yours.

374 days. Twelve months and some change.

They don’t spend the holidays with you, but there’s a stack of presents waiting in Price’s office. Your mugs have collected dust in the back of the rec room cabinet.

Laswell says you’re still deployed on one last mission, return TBD. Soon, though.

487 days. Still TBD. Soon. Really. Just some loose ends to tie up.

561 days. There was some trouble during exfil but you’re alright. Just a bit of recovery.

You’re coming home.

590 days. You’ll land at 0700 tomorrow.

It’s been 591 days since Simon last saw you. Since any of them last saw you.

Laswell has come to deliver you personally, a kind of apology for keeping you away so long. She’s the first off the transport and you’re right behind her.

Your hair is shorter. Much, much shorter. There’s a new patch on your jacket - memento from your temporary team, Simon figures.

Apart from that, you look… almost exactly how you did when you left. Dark circles under your eyes, mouth drawn and tight. There’s invisible weight compressing your shoulders, urging them in and down. But you’re there again. Just the way he remembers.

(Why are you the way he remembers?)

“Long time, no see,” Gaz calls, reaching for you.

There’s half a beat, you blink. Hesitate.

Then you grin and reach back.

“Missed my pretty face, did you?” you reply.

Johnny laughs and brings you in for a hug. You twitch hug him back, patting his shoulder as you pull away.

“Good to have you back, Sergeant,” Price says, shaking your hand.

You turn to Simon, nod in greeting, expression pleasant. “Ghost.”

So that’s how it’ll be? Alright.

“Sergeant.”

That night, you go out for drinks with the team and Laswell. Simon goes along to show there are no hard feelings.

(Not that you seem to need reassurance. It’s not even that you’re not looking at him. You are. Whenever he speaks, the rare times he does, or if he shifts in his seat. Your gaze doesn’t linger or jerk away, you treat him like you do Johnny and Gaz and Price.)

When Johnny mixes up your usual for Price’s, you don’t even seem to notice. But Simon does.

“When did you start drinking whiskey?” he wonders.

You used to swear you’d never like it, claiming it tasted like boot polish and the “Boys Club” wasn’t worth the indigestion it gave you.

“Someone from my other team,” you say by way of explanation.

You don’t ask for another whiskey. Laswell gets the rest of your drinks for that night.

Simon turns into the rec room two days later and finds you already there. There’s only the light above the sink on, and you’re staring at the steady drip, drip, drip from the faucet. A cup of black coffee cools in your hand. You’re already wearing gloves.

“Sugar’s in the left now,” he calls.

Your head twitches, something pops in your neck.

“Oh, thanks,” you chirp, turning for the cabinet. “Sleep okay, LT?”

“‘Bout as well as I ever do,” he replies gruffly, sidling up next to you for the kettle.

You hum. There’s a yellow packet in your hand. (Didn’t you used to like the blue one?)

“I get that,” you sympathize.

He snorts. Since when?

“Do you?”

When he glances down, you’re not looking at him. Instead, you’re trying (and failing) to get the sink to stop dripping.

“You know that’s been broken for ages,” he says.

At least as long as the 141 has been around. You tried to fix it once when you first joined up, too, with no luck.

“Right,” you say. A little too quickly, a little too agreeably. “Well, anyway, enjoy your tea, Lieutenant.”

You leave the packet of sugar behind. Unopened.

You’re back and it’s like it used to be - not just before you left, but before the breakup. Before there was ever anything to break up.

Your time away seems to have given you whatever space from Simon you were hoping for, because you act like there was never anything at all.

He’s half expecting, dreading, that you’ll pull him aside at some point. Ask for a word after dinner, or swing by his room before bed. Talk about the break up now that cooler heads prevail and 19 months have sanded down the rough feelings. Seek closure, maybe.

But you don’t. The weeks pass until a month has gone and you never exchange more than easy pleasantries with Simon. You give him space, give him privacy. Things you never used to give him much of before, for better or worse.

You fool around with Gaz and Johnny, trade quips with Price, and follow Simon’s orders. Train recruits. Write reports.

You’re back, better than ever.

So why does it feel like Simon’s still waiting for you to return?

You’re always dressed now, head to toe. Day or night, rain or shine. From the neck down you’re in full sleeves, long pants, boots and gloves.

It doesn’t occur to anyone until you’re sweating through your compression shirt in the gym. Wipe your shiny forehead for the dozenth time before Johnny says, “why not just take it off?”

“It’s not that bad,” you laugh, waving him off.

When you lie down to bench press, Simon notes the bottom of your shirt tucked tight into your waistband. He exchanges a glance with Johnny - he’s seen it too.

You used to dress in shorts and sports bras during exercise, a towel over your shoulder. In the common room, you’d mill in tank-tops and boxers. Even used to trot down the hall swaddled in a towel or robe, mumbling that you forgot a razor or some other toiletry before showering.

“What, did ye get an embarrassing tattoo or somethin’?” Johnny asks finally.

You blink at him, expression bemused. “A tattoo? Why do you think I have a tattoo?”

“Yer covered up like a nun on Sunday. It cannae be comfortable.”

You snort. “Just because you’re allergic to clothes, MacTavish…”

“Allergic?! Wha’s tha’ s’posed t’mean?!”

Gaz barks a laugh. You grin and continue your workout.

Simon tries not to be disturbed by the name “MacTavish” coming off your tongue for the first time since you met.

It’s your first mission since you’ve been back. You have new gear, a new handgun. Something’s been carved into the side of the barrel in Cyrillic, Simon can’t read it. A new callsign.

(“What kind of a name is Carry-on?” Johnny teases, but he doesn’t quite hide the unease in his eyes.

You snort and lace your boots tighter. The edge of you sleeve inches up, revealing the curve of a glossy scar that wasn’t there before.

“You’re one to talk Mister Maybelline.”)

Someone painted an upside down cross on the temple of your helmet with their finger. You thumb it before stuffing it over your head.

“You ready for this?” Gaz asks, knocking his knee into yours. The two of you have been paired together for this mission. (Was it Simon’s imagination, or did you look annoyed that you would have a partner?)

“Always,” you reply.

Simon doesn’t hear what happens, but Gaz looks shellshocked when you haul him into the helicopter during exfil. You shake him a bit once everything is secure and the bird’s in the air.

“Garrick,” you shout, “c’mon, where did he get you?”

It takes him a second but he blinks, offers his arm for your inspection. You move with a speed even Simon is impressed by, tearing into the nearby med kit almost viciously. Gaz is patched up in record time and you sit back with blood on your hands, barely even seem to notice as you wipe them carelessly on your pants.

(You used to be more squeamish, weren’t you? You used to be the last one they asked for medical care because seeing your teammates in pain made you nauseous.)

“What about you?” Gaz asks after a small eternity.

You yawn. “What about me?”

“You got nicked too, didn’t you?”

Simon takes a second look at you and now that Gaz mentions it, you’re soaked in blood. Wet patches on your vest, your pants, dripping down your boots. It takes him a moment to notice the tear in your thigh, shredded flesh visible when you rock with the wind turbulence.

“Did I?” you wonder, glancing down like you only just noticed it.

Johnny curses, reaches for you - but you wave him off.

“It’s just a scratch,” you reply. “Barely even feel it, no worries.”

Then why is it still bleeding?

When the team lands, you hop off the heli without so much as a wince. Droplets of blood lead all the way back to your room.

(When Simon asks Nikolai about the hand-etching on your gun, he says the word means “promise.”)

In the after-action report, your callsign isn’t “Carry-On.” It’s Carrion.

Laswell takes you off the mission two months later, a joint assignment with KorTac. They send three operators to work with TF141 - Stiletto, Konig, and Nikto.

On the transport to infil, Simon notices the Russian inspecting his handgun in a seat separated from the rest of the squad. He recognizes the Cyrillic carved into the barrel this time: Promise.

It’s an eerie, creeping suspicion. An anxious fog rolling in.

It’s not one single thing that trips an alarm in Simon’s head, but a steady collation of oddities over months. A single arhythmic beat, a note off key. Just once or twice, but over and over until he can’t notice anything else.

You act just like yourself except for all the minute ways you don’t.

You smile big and wide, sunshine bright, when they make a good joke. Your laugh is still the same, bubbling up in your throat, head thrown back. You smell the same when you pass Simon in the hall, shampoo and soap that’s haunted him for a year and a half.

It’s insidiously subtle; he can’t pinpoint what it is for the longest time. Your mannerisms are almost too practiced, the cadence of your voice too measured. A missing turn of phrase you often used, replaced by something unfamiliar.

Simon dismisses it as guilt-laden paranoia. The two of you ended on bad terms with a year and half worth of space between. He’s hardly one to gauge what’s normal for you anymore.

And besides, the few times someone else has noticed at those tiny yet all-too-obvious inconsistencies, you shrug it off as something you picked up while away.

But he catches Johnny’s brows furrow one afternoon as you light up a cig (after swearing for years that you’d never pick up the habit) and Simon knows he’s beginning to see it too.

“You ever notice,” Gaz begins slowly. You’re the only one missing from the rec room this evening, retired with a drawn-out yawn. “That Carrion always mentions being away, but never talks about it?”

Simon stills. Johnny’s eyes fly to Price, who’s grimly tapping at his crossword puzzle.

“The file’s redacted,” he says. He’s seen it too then, tried to investigate for himself.

“That’s normal for a mission like that,” Simon reasons carefully.

“I don’t mean the mission,” Price says. “I mean Carrion’s file.”

“This is a good movie,” you mumble from the armchair you’ve stolen from Price. “What’s it called?”

Simon exchanges glances with the rest of the team. No one points out that this is (used to be?) your favorite.

Price looks into the team you were loaned out to. All were KIA or remain MIA. All but one. His file has been scrubbed too, the only documents readable are discharge orders and a PMC contract, both associated with the callsign “Nikto.”

They’re running out of time.

Less than 36 hours on the clock with only one lead, and it’s a zealot with a suicide pact. Price and Laswell both took a crack at him with nothing to show for it. Even Ghost has gotten hardly anything and he’s running out of nails. With time, he might get something useful, but they don’t have much of that left.

In the anteroom looking into interrogation, you’ve been observing through the one-way glass with your hands in your pockets, head tilted, expression serene.

Price and Laswell are discussing strategy, contingencies. Gaz and Johnny are throwing in their two cents, but Simon… Simon is watching you.

Like medical, torture used to be your Achilles. You were trained like the rest of the team, but there was never any need for you to step into the room yourself. Hell, you were a last resort even for observation or emergency resuscitation. No one blamed you for having a weak stomach for information extraction.

But today, you glance over your shoulder and make eye contact with Laswell.

“I’ll handle it,” you say with an air of finality.

The room goes silent. Price opens his mouth, but it’s Laswell that speaks, voice hard with resignation.

“Do it.”

You don’t blink. “Yes, ma’am.”

You walk out the door without a backwards glance, shoulders loose but each step steady and purposeful.

“What the hell is going on, Kate?” Price demands.

Kate sighs, looks away as you enter the interrogation room.

“Let’s do this outside. It won’t take long to get that intel.”

The only thing she’s able to share is that you and your team were captured. For a long time. And then you’re already stepping out of the interrogation room, wiping your bloodied hands off on an old rag.

There’s an unusual glint in your eye, an unnatural stillness in your expression.

“Got what we need,” you announce cheerfully.