#i just really liked that she was choosing to live with her illness because she didn't want to risk releasing bakur

[cxlandine]

am i a total asshole for being kind of upset that they totally healed lydia? i know disabilities in fantasy are tough because there are spells that can fix everything but i get a bit sad imagining the new art of her without the gem standing up.

[asclexeposting]

sometimes i feel jealous of cisgender people but then. i dont it’s whatever man. no wait i am. i am very jealous of cisgender people in a fucked up way. what

[nellasbookplanet]

I think it's funny that I keep seeing Liliana compared to Essek on the basis of 'beloved npc the cast wants to see redeemed', with a contingent of fandom claiming Liliana to be more 'deserving' of said redemption because they see her as a victim and Essek as a villain. To me, if we are going to compare her to a c2 npc, her role is much more similar to that of Astrid (and Eadwulf, though he's less central).

As in, she’s an antagonist who’s deeply emotionally and historically tied to one of the pc's, with said pc being unable to bring themself to give up on her despite her being unwilling to stop fighting for the bad guy (examples: Liliana casting timestop to get bells hells past the vanguard; Astrid allowing the nein to flee to the fire plane; both of them returning to working for their evil boss immediately afterwards).

Like Astrid, Liliana was manipulated into joining a cult-like supremacist organisation (though unlike Astrid she was an adult, giving her less leeway) for what they thought of as good, just reasons (Liliana to save her daughter and 'free' exandria from the gods; Astrid to protect her home nation). Like Astrid she is a victim, but she is also undeniably a villain. Both of them have the lives of countless innocents on their hands and could not, for the longest time, be trusted. The fact that they are sad little meow meows or whatever doesn't change this. Even at the end of c2, Astrid may have turned on her boss, but unlike Caleb she was unable to fully give up the organisation he was part of, becoming part of the assembly herself. Liliana may be out from under Ludinus' thumb, but she has shown little indication that she has moved away from his ideas of 'let's blame the gods for all the ills of the world and exterminate them for it'.

Essek, while arguably a much darker character who acted for wholly selfish reasons, nonetheless entered c2 as a perceived ally. By the time the nein found out about his involvement there was already a foundation of trust and friendship, and he had made the decision to sever ties with the assembly (though it took a bit longer before the guilt and regret caught up) while all but devoting himself to the nein after. Liliana and Astrid both struggled for most of the campaign to turn their backs on the evil organisation they worked for no matter the pleading of loved ones. All three are morally grey characters who at some point had the potential to be redeemed or go full antagonist (WHAT would have happened if Liliana found out Imogen really knew of the assassination attempt) but their journeys and the way they are presented to the audience as well as the players differ quite strongly.

If you are going to compare Essek and Liliana, admit to their strongest similarity: the fact that they both had the agency to choose their bad actions, and that neither were an innocent victim to the consequences that followed.

[citricacidprince]

doodle request on relativity falls - id love 2 see ur vers of fiddleford and where he stands in the story!! :DD

Of course!!!

Oh Fiddleford, my dearly beloved Fiddleford, he’s just a little guy who makes machines that hurt people and I love him for that <3

In my Relativity Falls AU Fidds is a kid from Tennessee who moved to Gravity Falls pretty recently, like in the past year.

He’s still really handy with mechanics, like a genuine prodigy, but he’s so riddled with anxiety that it’s a battle to get him to share any of his projects outside of his robots he makes to get revenge on those who wrong him!

He really does like hanging out with the twins, he thinks their both fun and is very happy they actually wanna be his friend, however their constant ‘Getting into weird and magical trouble’ is so stress inducing to him he’s going to get gray hairs by the time he’s 20 (Dipper can relate-)

I don’t have a lot of things solidified for him yet, other than I want him to be EXTREMELY tempted to use the Memory Gun on himself, to forget a lot of the horrifying things he’s seen over the summer, but is stopped by Candy (The inventor of the gun) at the last second. You see, Candy didn’t spiral like Fiddleford did in the show, she only ever used the memory gun on herself once. However, she used it to erase every bit of knowledge she ever learned about the weirdness of Gravity Falls, and Candy had spent YEARS of her life dedicated to it, she was arguably more curious about the weirdness of Gravity Falls than Dipper was. He was only curious out of morbid curiosity, she saw the whimsy and wonder in it all. So when Candy used the Memory Gun on herself and erased such a huge chunk of her memory it cracked her psyche, not leaving her a rambling and insane kook like Fiddleford, but more oblivious and unaware to everything around her while also being a liiiiittle ‘not all there’.

Between the two of them Candy definitely got the better end of the stick. Fiddleford was deemed insane and used the memory gun over and over again until he couldn’t even remember who he was anyone, his life falling apart. Candy used it once to make sure no one could ever use her research to hurt anyone after she learned her lab partner was literally working with an otherworldly being who could go into peoples heads and it cracked her mind because her research WAS her entire life, leaving her oblivious and dazed. However, Candy managed to find people who cared about her and were willing to care for her despite this. Sure she lives in the dump, but whenever a storm comes through or she gets hungry she can always go up to her friends Grenda, Mabel Mason, or even Pacifica at some point to help her out. Fiddleford had no one.

I want Candy to give Fidds a little pep talk, convincing him that despite those memories being scary and uncomfortable he’s going to need all of them because they’re what will help him grow as a person. He can’t just pick and choose which ones he wants because one day he’ll realize he doesn’t have any memories left to burn.

Maybe there could even be a moment where Fidds tries to use the memory gun on Candy because he convinces himself he NEEDS it and doesn’t want to deal with the consequences of hating choice, but freezes up when he realizes it does work on her anymore. The realizes what he just did because of how badly he wanted that memory gun seconds after he did it and starts to tremble, dropping the memory gun as he begins uncontrollably crying that he ‘didn’t mean it’ and he’s sorry. Candy wouldn’t hold it against him, just seeing a scared kid who was so desperate to make the mind numbing anxiety that he would do anything, and she’d hug him and tell him it’s okay before leading him back to the rest of the group.

Fiddleford makes me soooo ill I love him <3

[sapphiresaphics]

I’m STILL not done with this because the downplaying of Jinx’s actions vs the exaggeration of Caitlyn’s is really bugging me.

Yes, Caitlyn uses the vents to pump the Grey into the undercity. But she does it in TARGETED strikes. That’s what a “strike force” IS. It’s a small group of soldiers who go in quickly and precisely to attack vulnerable spots.

In this case, Caitlyn and her crew literally use the same vents they’re pumping the Grey through to get in and out of their targeted locations. Meaning Caitlyn isn’t “gassing the undercity” at all. At best she’s filling a single building with the grey while they attack and then filtering it out when they leave.

“Oh but gas dissipates differently in the undercity than in Piltover because piltover is open air and the undercity is close together and tight.”

Cool… that’s definitely a concern. But we never see any negative side effects from these targeted attacks. It’s established multiple times that you can endure the grey for a while, it just makes it harder to breathe. And while there are immediate side effects of it, you won’t develop terminally ill Viktor-like symptoms unless you’re been exposed to it consistently for years.

Everything Caitlyn is doing is to MITIGATE the loss of innocent civilian lives. Heck, they stumble across a guy Jinx has tied upside down on top of a grey exposed vent for god knows how long and the first thing the strike force does is to try and save his life!

Now compare that to what Jinx does IN THE SAME EPISODE. She sets off a bomb that blasts the entirety of Piltover with the grey. Mixing it with the paint is an even greater act of cruelty because that just makes it harder to wash away and get rid of the toxicity of the grey.

Look at how WIDE SPREAD that attack ended up being! Absolutely NOTHING Caitlyn has been doing has affected the undercity on such a scale!

And this attack affects women, children, and the elderly. We are EXPLICITLY shown this.

AND we are shown what happens to the kids afterwards. I understand this is Ambessa using this child to plead her case for Martial Law, but that doesn’t change that this kid still suffered greatly because of Jinx’s actions.’

Now yes, what Caitlyn is doing is still wrong. Nobody is suggesting otherwise. Caitlyn shouldn’t be attacking the undercity at all. But this idea that Caitlyn is somehow akin to a Nazi gassing the poor people is a really disgusting exaggeration of her crimes AND mitigates the ACTUAL terrorist attack by Jinx that DOES hurt innocent civilians.

And a lot of the justification I’ve seen for the hate against Caitlyn using the grey is often speculation based on nothing the show provides us with answers to, or wild assumptions about the physics of this grey’s toxicity.

Oh and one more thing, in relation to Viktor’s illness… just MAYBE consider that one of the reasons his illness spreads more quickly in his body than, say, Sky’s or Vi or Jinx or Vander… is because as a child he spent a lot of his time IN A TOXIC FISSURE CAVE GIVING THE TOXIC PRECURSOR TO SHIMMER TO RIO.

I dunno, just a thought that MAYBE that contributed to his ultimate health decline? Sky is literally swimming in the dirty waters outside the cave and she is fine… Jinx is baptized by Silco in the same dirty water and she’s fine. Vander and Silco both worked in the mines where the grey was most potent and they’re fine. Silco’s eye is only because of being choked out in the dirty toxic water…

I just think people are being VERY SELECTIVE about how they choose to view the ways the grey affects people.

[synchodai]

I get this impression that House of the Dragon doesn't get that "named" heirs aren't really the norm in Westeros. If it were that easy for someone to just give everything to their favorite child, Randall Tarly wouldn't have needed to force Sam to go to the Wall and Tywin could have simply chosen Cersei over Tyrion as heir of Casterly Rock.

If we look at the history Westeros borrows from, the concept of "naming" heirs wasn't really a thing in medieval England. Landed gentry didn't have direct say over the order of succession until the Statute of Wills in 1540. Before then, land and subsequent titles could only be inherited through agnatic primogeniture.

Agnatic primogeniture prioritized the living, eldest, trueborn son. Claims can only be passed on patrilineally. This means that a grandaughter can inherit a claim of her grandfather's titles through her father, but a grandson cannot be given the same through his mother. However, if his mother finally does have land and titles under her own name (not under her father's), only then does her son and other children enter the line of succession.

The reason it was like this was because it kept land and titles under one family. Daughters are less preferred because when they are married, they become part of their husband's family — meaning that any titles they receive will be inherited through a new line. This wouldn't be an ideal situation because it gives two families claims to the titles. The more claimants there are, the more unstable the hold the owner has.

In other words, agnatic primogeniture was practiced for stability. Because back in the day, titles weren't just property or land. They came with governorship over a people, so a stable and predictable transfer of titles was necessary to avoid civil conflicts and questions of legitimacy.

A landed lord or lady wasn't given the right to designate heirs for a few reasons:

Most of them were vassals who oversaw the land in the name of someone higher up. It technically isn't even theirs to give away (see: feudal land tenure).

The wishes of a human being are less predictable than having a determined line of succession based on birth order. What if he becomes incapable of declaring an heir either through illness or disability? What if he's captured and a bad actor forces him to name this person heir under threat of violence?

People died unexpectedly all time. This was before germ theory and modern medicine — child mortality was extremely high. With no refrigeration technology, a single poor harvest could mean dying from starvation. Bandits, cutthroats, and raiders were a constant threat. They could not afford to rely on a person choosing a different heir every time the old heir drops dead, because the landed lord/lady could die just as suddenly.

Even 21st century families stab each other in the back over who gets grandma's house — so imagine having an uncertain line of succession in the middle ages over a life-defining lordship and without a modern-day court system to mediate.

Going back to HotD, whenever Targaryens did go against the established line of succession, they could only have done it by consolidating the support of their vassals. Only royalty seemed to have the power to bend agnatic primogeniture, but even then they were beholden to it.

When Jaehaerys I ascended the throne over Aerea, it was mainly because there were those who saw Maegor the Cruel's act of disinheriting Jaehaerys as null and void. This restored Jaehaerys place in the line of succession above Aerea.

And when Rhaenys was passed over for Baelon, Jaehaerys had to convene his lords and offer compelling reasons as to why — her young age, her lack of an heir, her Velaryon last name, etc. It wasn't a given that just because she was a woman that she was ineligible. If he was doing it purely out of misogyny, he still had to legally justify his misogyny in order to strip away her rights.

Even after consolidating support, the book mentions Jaehaerys I and Viserys I's respective hold on the crown was still weakened. Even though their claims were backed by reasons cosigned by a powerful majority, they still had to ensure the security of their rule through other means. There were people who doubted their right to rule, and those people had to be placated with gifts (by Viserys) or intimidated into submission (by Jaehaerys).

So we come to Viserys I who never gave his vassals a reason why Rhaenyra should supercede his three sons other than, "I said so." Had he convened with his lords and maybe made the argument that a first marriage takes precendence over a second one, then maybe he could have set a new precedent and gathered support.

But no, he didn't. He relied on the power of his own words and the lords' personal oaths — oaths that he didn't exactly plan how he would enforce posthumously.

And the Realm did not choose to adopt a different succession law after Jaehaerys's designation of Baelon in 92 AC or the Council of Harrenhal choosing Viserys on 101 AC. If those two events did change anything, it was that now women were exempt from the line of succession for the crown and only the crown. It did not set the precedence that monarchs could freely choose heirs. It did not upend the whole system; it only made a tweak, as most lawful policy-changes do, by carving out at an exception. It was a committee, not a revolution.

Before and after the Dance, no other monarch, lord, or lady "declared" an heir that went against agnatic primogeniture, save for Dornish who have cognatic (equal-gender) primogeniture instead. Ramsay had to get rid of Roose Bolton's living trueborn son AND be legitimized by the crown in order to be recognized as heir (only a crowned monarch can legitimize baseborn children which is another world-building pillar a lot of people miss). Randall basically had to force Sam to abdicate because he wanted his younger brother to inherit instead. And of course, Tywin despite his intense hatred of Tyrion is forced to acknowledge him as his heir.

The rigidity of the line of succession is a major and constant source of conflict in the series, so it baffles me that people really thought that characters could just freely choose their heirs. That's why we have a civil war. It wasn't a misunderstanding. It's the expected consequences of someone carelessly going against a foundational tenent of the society they inhabit.

[retroaria]

hey! I'm not really into nsfw stuff- sooo would you like to do something soft with reo? 😭 like, idk, him as a husband or father so with a family? THANK YOU SO MUCH 💗💗

✮⋆˙ domestic reo headcanons ✮⋆˙

a/n: this is so brain rotted i can’t even lie i think reo is just so easy to romanticize. pure fluff.

• | BLUE LOCK M.LIST | enjoy !! - aria 💜 | •

✮ I actually love this because i headcanon that reo would be a great dad :D at the very least he’d be extremely supportive of whatever his children wanted to do in their lives. He wouldn’t force them to follow in his footsteps like his father and he’d use whatever devices he could to ensure they can comfortably follow the path they choose.

✮ Would post about all his children’s accomplishments, or if you guys didn’t feel comfortable posting the kids he’d still take any chance to tell everyone about it - even his teammates who literally don’t care that his son got the highest score on the spelling test (they’re happy for him though). He secretly enjoys scrapbooking for his kids but they’re “your books” and he “just helps you with it sometimes”. (he’s the one who took almost all the pictures and saved every piece of paper his kid has ever drawn on)

✮ Reo is a charming husband, so charming and sweet it’s hard to be mad at him. He’s a bit lacking in cleaning/caretaking capabilities when it comes to the home but he puts in the effort??? He tries his best and if he does a bad job he always makes it up to you one way or another. In all honesty, he’s probably already hired people to do that (forgot this man is inheriting a multi millionaire dollar corporation).

✮ Reo is however very good at taking care of children. Once he has a clear grasp of their needs, he finds it to be really enjoyable and fulfilling. He takes a lot of pride in whatever happiness and comfort he can bring to his kids. He hates the sound of his babies crying, not because it’s annoying (though he complains about that too) but because it genuinely hurts his soul. He can be a bit too worrisome about it sometimes - he’s totally the type of person to look up his child’s symptoms and freak out over seeing all the worst case scenarios.

✮ The one thing that reo particularly excels at is taking care of you when you’re sick. He can always tell when you’re not feeling your best and he immediately harps on you. He doesn’t know how to cook very well but he knows how to make a few different kinds of warm foods to fill your stomach and give you a little energy. He’d absolutely refuse to stay away from you (unless it was a seriously contagious illness or if you guys had a baby that could’ve gotten sick). Doesn’t care if you’re sneezing and coughing and wheezing, he wants to feed you and hold you and kiss your hot head until it cools down and everything is better again. His goal is always to make sure you get better as soon as possible and won’t let you do anything but rest and relax until then.

✮ Reo is an incredible gift giver! I’ve certainly mentioned this in another hc post, but he is always out and about buying you little things that remind him of you. If you guys have a kid that’s just more gifts he’ll have to get and the thought of that honestly excites him.

✮ Anything can happen but…reo with a daughter…guys….

✮ he would be the sweetest girl dad! would do everything in his power to make her believe she’s an actual princess and he’s just one of her loyal servants. Spoils her rotten and doesn’t feel bad about it.

✮ You’d have to explain to him how this could negatively affect your daughter and it would break his heart. He’d go into theatrics trying to refute it because “What do you mean I can’t let her have everything she wants?” and “What if she cries? You want me to make my daughter cry?” he gets it eventually, but remains reluctant lol.

✮ He’d love playing sports with his kids. Would try to get them into soccer but if they end up liking another sport he’s still just as hype. Isn’t initially familiar with the concept of letting the kids win but soon realized he has to level with the speed of their little legs.

✮ I don’t have any specific hc’s for him as a boy dad but he’d be just as great of course - he’d make sure his son sees how women should be treated based on how he treats you!

✮ If he could find a way to make you the total world ruler he would because he truly believes you’re the most capable person. He’s the kind of husband who lets you run things for the most part but is always there to step in when you need a break or if you just want him by your side. Would call for an emergency flight back home from whatever country he’s training in just because you said you didn’t wanna go to parent teacher night alone.

✮ He loves doing mundane tasks with you, but always tries to “make it a bit more fun” as he says - which basically means he puts away the clothes you fold while you listen to him crack really bad jokes at you, gossip about his teammates, or try to sing and serenade you with his MANY playlists he’s made dedicated to you. On days you both have nothing going on he follows you around the house like a lost puppy, which is slightly annoying but it also means you have four hands to do stuff because he’s a participator above all else.

✮ Reo always makes sure to show his appreciation for how hard you work whether it’s at your job, taking care of the kids/house, or both. He takes time alone with you very seriously, even as your lives get busier and your family grows he always makes sure there’s time for the two of you to just be together and be in love. Always jokes about how you guys need to keep the romance going. He has small romantic gestures that he indulges you in throughout the day: kissing you on the cheek, brushing your hair out of your face/tying it back for you if you if you need (taking his hair tie out for you to use), hugging you a little tighter just before you get up, running a bath for the both of you, massaging your shoulders while you talk.

to be fully honest with you guys, i have never in my life wanted to have kids so it was a bit hard for me to imagine what being happy with children would be like LMAO but alas i did my best. stay safe and stay cool. - aria :3

[covid-safer-hotties]

Also preserved in our archive

I have no clue how this guy hasn't divorced his wife. If my partner looked at me with disgust about anything that wasn't literally disgusting, I'd be googling "divorce lawyer."

by Sam Williams

A week ago, my wife and I went to John Lewis to look at air fryers. As we entered the store, I put on an FFP3 mask because of Covid. My wife looked at me in disgust and said, “Oh, you’re wearing a mask?” I replied, “Yes. There’s a lot of Covid around, and I don’t want it. Do you?”

She responded, “Well, the trouble is, I’m not wearing a mask”.

I said, “Yes, I can see that. I wish you would. The trouble is, every time I’ve caught Covid, it’s been from you. I’m disabled with long COVID, and every time I get reinfected, it makes me really, really ill”.

So here’s my question: does my wife not care?

I want to use this piece to spark a debate about who we are as people. Are we kind and virtuous, or are we selfish and indifferent? Writing an article about what stops people from wearing masks, while I live with the pain caused by my wife not masking, feels like an oddly meta activity.

That’s right, folks: it was probably my wife who gave me Covid in the first place. Although, to be fair, neither of us knew about masking or long Covid back then.

The case for masks amid rising Covid I need people to wear masks or ensure clean air so it’s safe for me to go out—especially in healthcare settings. Yet, most people refuse. I asked my wife why she doesn’t wear a mask, and she said, “There’s no point, because nobody else does.”

I understand the futility in her statement. Many people don’t wear masks simply because they don’t care or because they think Covid is over.

If my wife were a cruel or unkind person, it would be easier to accept her refusal to wear a mask. But in my experience, even many kind people—even those on the political Left—can be cruel when it comes to disabled individuals.

Although my wife has struggled with my disability, she is generally a kind person. In my autistic brain, it seems perfectly logical that she should wear a mask to protect me from airborne viruses. Yet, logic loses when it comes to personal choices and disability.

Misconceptions about Covid and masks People think Covid is “just a cold.” Some even believe masks themselves make you ill. I think people don’t mask because of ableism and because they’ve been conditioned to associate masks with the pandemic itself.

It’s the same conditioning that leads them to blame lockdowns and vaccines for Covid, rather than recognising these measures were designed to mitigate its spread.

When people see me in a mask, they’re reminded of the acute phase of the pandemic. My presence confronts them with an uncomfortable truth: their refusal to mask contributes to the deaths and disabling of others. It reveals they may not be as caring as they like to think.

I wish more people would remember the Covid dead and choose to wear a mask to prevent further loss of life.

Why people don’t mask The biggest reason, I believe, is a failure of public health communication over wearing a mask. The government declared Covid “over,” and most people still trust what they’re told. Many would resume masking if asked, but the government is too afraid of the right-wing media and too indifferent to disability to make that request.

Then there’s the pervasive idea of “health supremacy”:

The belief that only people with pre-existing conditions get long Covid.

The notion that a “healthy” immune system can fight off the virus.

The argument that we don’t need vaccines or other preventative measures.

Some even suggest that “living your best life” and going out for brunch are more important than protecting loved ones. The low mortality rate of Covid is used as justification, with a dismissive attitude towards the elderly and those with long Covid.

Many fail to consider the quality of life endured by those with long Covid or the rising number of children affected. Parents, it seems, don’t care enough about their kids, or they’re unaware that long COVID in children has doubled in the past year.

There’s also peer pressure and groupthink. No one wants to stand out by wearing a mask. “If it were really unsafe, wouldn’t everyone else wear one? Wouldn’t the authorities tell us to mask up?”

When I do convince others to wear masks, it’s usually a flimsy surgical one—barely adequate protection.

The personal cost of not wearing a Covid mask If we continue as we are, everyone will eventually develop long Covid. Those who still mask are only delaying the inevitable because we’re so outnumbered.

I know people who’ve lost friendships and family connections over masking. Others restrict their contact with loved ones to stay safe. Some have even been lied to by family members about masking.

And all because people must have brunch.

It feels grossly unfair to be forced to choose between family and health. For me, it’s not just about Covid. With a weakened immune system, other airborne viruses are just as harmful. Every cold or similar illness sets me back by months.

The fatalist in me whispers: stop masking. If no one else is wearing a mask, why fight it – just let long Covid take me. Every reinfection only worsens my condition.

A systemic failure The government—New Labour or otherwise—has shown little interest in preventing the spread of Covid or developing treatments for long Covid. The societal denial of this reality is overwhelming.

Until we build a society and government centred on community and care instead of selfish individualism, we’re doomed. Is thinking of others really too much to ask?

If only long Covid weren’t an invisible disability. If it caused something visible—like the loss of a limb—perhaps people would be forced to act.

The point of wearing a mask: not just for Covid Here’s why masking matters:

It reduces your viral load if you get infected.

It sets a good example for others.

It shows courage and strength.

It protects vulnerable people, including the disabled, chronically ill, and immunosuppressed.

It proves you have empathy and intelligence.

[shakethediseeas]

haihaii can i request alien stage x crossdresser male reader please? 🫶🏻

ALIEN STAGE WITH A CROSSDRESSER, feminine M! READER

MEssy! half bullets half bs i did more of a feminine male reader instead of a corssdresser if you don't like it just tell me ill re do it ;;;;

alien stage x reader

Whispers are common when you arrive. It's the fact that you're so pretty that leaves everyone speechless. You've always had some sort of feminine charm that made you the top hit, and you live for it.

MIZI

She was a bit surprised when she heard your deep voice when she first introduced herself. Thinking you were a pretty girl, she runs to you with compliments about your hair and outfit, and you look at her with big eyes before saying:

"oh.. thank you..!"

It's a huge shock, but somehow, that made you more beautiful to her, and so she'd double down on the compliment. Even better!! As she says.

She instantly marks you as her bestfriend. She loves making crafts with you or letting you choose how to style her hair when she couldn't decide.

"Hair up or down? what do you think? Maybe we could match!"

As you get older, your options of clothes become unlimited, so you get to perform or take photos in your beautiful dresses or skirts, and Mizi has stars in her eyes whenever you show her your new look.

10/10 she loves your style very much.

No one really judged you for it either because you were so charming, but if anyone ever picked a fight with you, she'd defend you 100%!

She loves it when you paint each other's nails or match outfits. She brags about it to everyone with a huge smile on her face.

Is super comfortable with you. She's not super touchy, but hand-holding and tackles are common.

10/10

TILL

He's flustered while saying hello (he's nervous around pretty girls), and you reply with a sup. He yells and goes, "WHAT THE HELL!?" Angry at himself for blushing over a boy.

He treats you normally like he does with Ivan, but sometimes, when you laugh or show him your new dress, he gets extremely embarrassed about how nice you look.

He'll never admit that you look pretty, though, he'll say something dumb like put some pants on or smt (he's a stupid kid).

You cling to him a lot to get an angry reaction from him, you find it cute.

When you're older you always invite him to photoshoots just to tease him or brag about your new outfits and he pretends to be angry but secretly your charms have kind of grown on him so he just huffs and looks the other way while you poke him.

7/10 I think he's got internalized homophobia so he's like trying to deny any sort of attraction towards you.

You force him to paint your nails or make him tie your pretty little shoes and he gets all mad.

Sometimes, RARELY he'll let you add some makeup on his face.

If anyone ever said anything to you, which was common because you hung around with a problematic boy, he might beat the hell out of them, and you tease him about it.

"aww!! you love me don't you! my hero! mwah!"

"get away from me, freak!!"

LUKA

When Hyuna introduced you two, he stared at you entranced, drooling, as always, before nodding and looking away. You swore you heard him mumble 'pretty' but he denied it constantly.

You always ask him what to wear or how to style your hair, and he just looks at you "..." before falling to his side. So you pick the dress that was on the side he fell on.

You held him around like a teddy bear, laughing at a joke you said or you'd talk about curling your hair more.

Suddenly, one day, he got the nerve to provoke you, and so you punched him and walked away, never talking to him again.

That is, until you are older. His personality isn't what you remember, and now he talks about how pretty you've always been and suggests clothes you should wear.

He always finds a way to arrange hang outs with you and he'd put lipstick on you, do your hair and pick your clothes and it pissed you off.

5/10 its a 50/50, sometimes you enjoy hanging out with him and other times times it feels like he's treating you like a dress up doll.

if he doesn't care for you, he'd poke fun of you for dressing like female but if he does care he'll tell you you're the prettiest boy around.

he wont ever let you paint his face unless you catch him while he's sleeping.

sometimes its a 8/10 because you like getting an actual reaction out of it with doing something he doesn't like.

IVAN

He observes you from afar, trying to figure out how to talk to you. Fortunately, Mizi introduced you two, and he greeted you with a smile.

"ah.. hi!" with a head tilt and a smile you wave at him, playing with the hem of your skirt.

He doesn't seem fazed at all by your appearance, in fact, it makes you more appealing to him (similar to Mizi except he shows no shock)

He's kind of clingy. Whenever you and Mizi are having a girl talk, he shows up and tries to squeeze in, and you two just glare at him.

He LOVES when you ask him what you should wear, even if his choices are the worst you still pick them with a huge smile and nod whilst secretly you're withering on the inside.

He doesn't mind if you paint his face or nails; he then shows them off to Mizi in a smug way because you only paint his nails.

As you grow older, expect MANY features with him, many many. You're his favorite person to do photoshoots or interviews with because he gets to hang out with you, and you pick his outfit so you match.

8/10, -1 because he's with you all the time trying to understand clothes and its a headache.

Not afraid to hurt someone who will say something to you and hold a huge grudge.

over all, isn't really fazed with your style of clothes but he does tease you a tiny tiny bit unintentionally

is the easiest to convince if you want him to wear a dress or anything you own.

dont shit on me plsess im nuob

[naughtyneganjdm]

Christmas in Jackson - Chapter 1

Summary: When life becomes too overwhelming for Y/N, she takes a spontaneous trip during Christmas time to try to escape her hectic life leading her to the town of Jackson, Wyoming. There she stays at an inn ran by two brothers with her first interaction being with the grumpy older brother, Joel Miller. What starts off as a contemptuous relationship takes a surprising turn when the two grow closer.

Characters: Joel Miller, the reader (OC), Tommy Miller, etc.

AO3 Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/61159651/chapters/156279676

Warnings: Alternate Universe, Swearing, Depressing Thoughts, Joel is very grumpy, third person reader, female reader, etc. (I will add more warnings as the chapters go on)

Notes: This is my first Joel Miller solo story that I'm writing and it's very Christmas themed. Thanks to anyone who takes the time to read it! As always Y/N means your name or whatever name you choose to use for the story.

There were moments in life where being spontaneous led to some of the most amazing memories in people’s lives, but right now? Y/N wasn’t sure that it was going to be one of them. Staring out into the darkness from the backseat of the taxi she was in, Y/N clung to her bag and sighed loudly. Eight hours ago she was standing in the middle of the Newark airport looking for a way out. The stress had gotten to be too much. Work was eating away at her. It was the holidays so she was already feeling lonely. And a crass decision led her out to the middle of what felt like nowhere.

“I know it doesn’t look like much, but if you would have landed during the day it would have taken your breath away,” the driver’s voice pulled her stare from the window. Maybe that was the case, but right now? With it being this late, it just was nothing but darkness. Stealing a quick look back at her, the old man offered her a big smile. Thick framed glasses covered the older man’s face taking up most of the residence that was there. Large wrinkles were under his eyes and there was a cowboy hat that sat atop of his head. “Jackson, Wyoming is one of the most beautiful places in the states. I think when the sun comes up, you’re going to be held aback.”

Truthfully? She didn’t know if that was going to be true considering she was a city girl at heart.

“What brings you to Jackson?” the older man hooked his arm around the passenger’s seat, taking another look back at her. It had her finger’s curling tightly around her bag feeling incredibly uncomfortable that he kept taking his eyes off the road. Especially since it was snowing and there was already plenty of snow covering the ground. Sure, there weren’t a lot of cars on the road they were traveling, but it made her ill at ease. “Do you have family here that you are just visiting for the holidays?”

“No, no family,” she was quick to answer forcing herself to look down and away from the man wishing like hell she would just get to this inn quickly.

“So, are you here for the resort then?” the man questioned her once more, having a loud exhale fall from her lips. “Jackson is known for having some of the best mountains for skiing.”

“No, I’m not really a skier,” she confessed, attempting to calm herself in the back of the taxi, but she wasn’t exactly sure that was a possibility. “I’m actually not the biggest fan of heights to be honest with you.”

“Didn’t you just fly in on a plane?” the man seemed shocked to hear that from her, his face scrunching up in disbelief at her answer. “I did just pick you up from the airport.”

“I did, but that wasn’t really all that comfortable,” she admitted knowing that she had never been a big fan of airplanes. Flying was not something that she could ever get used to. Considering she felt like humans were meant to keep their feet on the ground, she never enjoyed getting onto an airplane. She had never been a fan of heights. They had scared her since she was a child and it was something that she had never really outgrew. And because of that she had to find ways to distract herself on the plane. Either by listening to music or watching movies. If she really thought too deeply about the idea of flying, she was certain that she would have given herself a panic attack.

“Is that the only bag that you have?” the man continued to interrogate her when they got to a stoplight. Dropping her head back against the seat, she closed her eyes and let out an exaggerated breath. Right now? She was just wishing for some silence. Not all of these questions. Instead of answering, she just gave him a nod. And by the sound he gave her in return? She could tell that he was shocked. “Well I hope you have something warmer than that in there because Jackson really does get cold around this time of the year. We’re getting news reports that there is supposed to be a really big storm sweepin’ in. How long are you planning on staying here?”

“I really don’t know,” she was honest with the man, shrugging her shoulders as she spoke. Twenty-four hours ago, she didn’t even think she would be leaving New York City, yet here she was. “Do you want me to be brutally honest with you?”

“I mean, if you want?” the man stammered, turning down the old country music that he had playing in the background to give her his full attention. “I reckon we ain’t far from the center of town if you want to talk some.”

“Since you seem like a big talker, I’ll let you in on my life,” she put emphasis on her words, finding herself kind of irritated with the man that she got stuck with that was driving her from the airport to her inn. Part of her felt like if she didn’t start talking, he would have just kept asking her questions and that would have made her feel even more uncomfortable. Likely, she was never going to see this man again, so what did it matter if she unloaded on him about what led her to this moment? “About twenty hours ago, I was standing in the middle of a hospital in New York City. I’m a trauma surgeon there. A patient that I was certain I could save died on the table in front of me. And to be honest with you? It kind of shattered me. I’m good at what I do. And I couldn’t save this patient’s life. I realized that I am fucking miserable. My boyfriend who also works at the hospital recently broke up with me because he felt like I was too dedicated to my job. I’m an only child and both my parents are dead. Nor do I have any extended family left. I’ve been so busy with work that I really don’t have many friends. So I decided that I wanted to get away from my life for a while and here I am.”

That was the honest to God truth. After that patient died? She finally took the vacation time that she had never done previously. Took a shower, got dressed, packed a bag and went to the airport. Instead of picking where she wanted to go, she went to the ticket agent at the airport and requested one thing of her. Put her on an airplane that was leaving soon and was completely unlike New York City. The ticket agent didn’t even tell Y/N what she picked for her. Just handed her a ticket and promised her that it was nothing like New York City. She only learned that she would be going to Jackson, Wyoming when she ended up at the gate.

“I had someone who worked at the airport pick for me where I was going. I thought being spontaneous would be the best thing for me because most of my own decisions have led me to nothing but sadness. So I gave them my money. I took the ticket. And I got on what felt like the smallest airplane possible to get here. While on the plane, I had to distract myself because of the crazy amounts of turbulence that took place. During the flight I was certain we were going to die several times,” she rambled on, feeling her blood boiling at the idea of everything. This was completely unlike her. When she traveled, she wanted all of the details. What she was doing, where she was going, what to expect. So this was stressful enough as it was. “And I ended up in Jackson, Wyoming. After I landed here, I had no idea where to go. Obviously, it’s late outside. So I asked one of the employees there if they had a suggestion as to where I should stay. They gave me the name of the Copper Peak Inn after I told them that I wasn’t here for the skiing. I don’t know how long I’m staying. And I’m not even sure I should be here in the first place.”

“Well…” the man took a long pause and considering she just unloaded a whole lot of trauma onto him? She didn’t blame him. He was asking a lot of questions that she decided to be brutally honest with. An extended exhale escaped his lips, his thick, fuzzy eyebrows bouncing up over his glasses in contemplation. “That’s a lot to deal with I reckon. But I think you’ll find Jackson to be the perfect place for you to be. What it sounds like you need is to relax. Avoid the stresses that you’re used to. And this is the perfect town to just be one with mother nature and enjoy your surroundings. The sights alone will take your breath away. And the wildlife? If you get to one of our parks or just go out for a drive? It’s beautiful.”

“I’ll have to take your word for it because right now, all I see is stars and darkness,” she held her hand up toward the window to observe that not far off in the distance was the lights of the small town of Jackson. What was strange about this whole thing was how fast the car ride from the airport to Jackson actually was.

“Are you a fan of western films?” the old man seemed excited to ask her that question. Instead of staying on the topic of her stressful life, he was eager to hop onto something new after she overshared with him. “We had a few of them movies filmed out here y’know.”

“No, not really,” she responded knowing that she was never really drawn to the old west or the countryside at all.

“Oh, well then I guess that won’t appeal to you either. I tell you what? You give anyone some time to be here for a while and I guarantee that they will fall in love with Jackson,” the man assured her as they reached town. Looking around, she realized that this place looked exactly like a modern version of an old west town that you’d see in the movies. A blast from the past so to speak. Each building seemed to be decorated with generic, white string lights so that everything matched. It was simple, but she guessed charming in it’s own way. “And I think the Copper Peak Inn is gonna work perfectly for you. The place is owned by the Miller boys. I got to know the younger one when he first came to town. Real sweet boy. They bought the inn after his older brother moved to town to be close. They’re good boys. Mostly. The older one can get a bit grumpy, but he means well. It’s a small place. Real homey. A nice place for you to put your feet up and really relax. In fact? The inn was voted the best historic small hotel in the country a few years back. A lot of history is living inside of those walls.”

“A few years back?” she stammered, a tiny chuckle falling from her lips. “I wonder what made them lose it in the last few years?”

“What was that?” the man clearly didn’t pick up on what she said which she was thankful for. She had whispered it and she was being a smartass when he was just trying to be kind. It was just she couldn’t picture anything around here being voted the best anything really. It was small and kind of cheesy. Shaking her head, she acted as if she was coughing to avoid having to repeat herself. “The nice thing about the inn is that it won’t be too busy during this time of the year. If you were going to one of the resorts, I imagine they’d be busier. You’re in the center of downtown, so there is plenty to look at. And if you want, you’re not too far away from some of the best attractions.”

“Oh? Are there a lot of attractions in town?” she spoke up, finding it hard to believe that a town like this could really draw much. The streets were empty and she wasn’t surprised. It was well past midnight and in a town like this? She imagined they were in bed earlier. Most buildings looked dark and shut down. Only one building had caught her eye and she assumed it was the one place they used to draw in tourists. It was undoubtedly a bar that had a gigantic glowing sign of a cowboy and a horse that was on top of the building. But even that looked like no one was there at this time of night. “I guess for city folk you might not think so, but I think you’ll enjoy yourself,” the man insisted pulling up to what she had assumed to be the inn. A few cars were parked out in front of it making her realize that he was right. Nothing seemed to busy out here. “Here we are ma’am. I’d offer to help you take your bags inside, but seeing as you only have that one bag…”

“I can handle it sir,” she assured him, sitting forward in her seat as she moved for the handle of the door. It would look pretty ridiculous if she made this old man carry in her single bag for her anyways. “For all we know, you might be taking me back to the airport in the morning.”

And right now? She thought that was a strong possibility. This town was nothing like she was used to. Looking at the places and the buildings, she was certain that she wouldn’t fit in easily. The only thing she was excited about was to finally get to a place where she could relax for the night alone.

“We’ll see miss,” the old man seemed to laugh at her comment, waving his hand about in the air. At least he found amusement in that. “I think Jackson is gonna surprise you.”

“It already has,” she blurt out, getting out of the taxi. A strong, cool gust of wind surrounded her once she got out. The old man wasn’t kidding. It was very cold. Much colder than New York City was when she left. Moving around the taxi, she stared up at the building before her. Taking in the sights of the old inn had her grumbling under her breath. Shaking her head, she started to consider that this whole thing was a horrible mistake and decision that she made. “But not in the best of ways.”

The sound of the taxi leaving was heard behind her. Clutching tightly to her bag, she knew that there was no escape for her now. This was where she would be staying tonight. A row of flags hung over the entrance of the hotel. Along with those were the similar decorations that most everyone had in town. White string lights that emphasized the architecture of the building. Unlike the other buildings, it genuinely did look like the owners tried to add a little more to make things look nicer. That was worth complimenting at least.

When she left the hospital yesterday, she decided that she was going to let other people make decisions for her. Hoping that somehow it would lead her to something better in life. After arriving in Jackson? She realized how stupid that was and how she should never do that again.

Lowering her head, she took a look at the pillar that was right before her. There was a horseshoe that was welded onto it. Outstretching her hand, she curled her fingers around the horseshoe and tugged slightly at it. This definitely wasn’t like the hotels that she was used to.

Heading for the large wooden doors of the entrance to the inn, she stopped to gather herself. It was freezing outside, but she didn’t know how she would handle being here. This place was everything that she wasn’t. Finally gathering the courage, she pushed open the doors to see a small set of stairs before her that led to the lobby. The railings of the stairs were shaped into a bull’s head and it made her grumble something under her breath. A certain scent surrounded her once she was inside. It was a mix of what she assumed to be wood, leather and some kind of Christmas scented candles that the inn had been burning earlier in the day. Gazing around the small entry way, she saw to the left that there were a set of stairs that led down to a fitness room. Well that surprised her. With how this place was? She didn’t expect it to have much of anything other than rooms. 

Moving into the lobby of the inn, she was met almost immediately by a large set of stairs that led up to the second level. Every step had a poinsettia plant on each side all the way up. Garland was wrapped around the handrails and the balusters had Christmas lights wrapped around them. Off to the right side she could see the top of a Christmas tree that they had decorated. Old fashioned would be an understatement. This place was definitely modeled to be inspired by the old west. Rustic, large sized, red colored carpets covered the already carpeted floor. The light was warm, to match the aura of the Inn. She imagined right now with the over-the-top Christmas decorations that this place looked better than it usually did during the rest of the year. And that wasn’t saying much. Instead of being a place for people to stay, the first floor looked like an old west museum.  

From where she was standing, she could see that there was a small area off to the left where people could sit. Western styled statues sat beside each side of the staircase. Large paintings covered the walls that were also western themed. There was a small sign to the right that was pointing toward the ATM. That was the most modern thing she had seen thus far. The place was quiet. No one was there. No one that she heard at least.

Right beside the entrance was registration. The only problem was? It was empty. There was a bell that was seated upon the counter, but the last thing she wanted to do was wake up everyone in the place. This was a small inn. Certainly if anyone was in it, her ringing that small silver bell would be waking people up and upsetting them. Someone had to be here. Somewhere.

Stepping further into the inn, she looked up the stairs to see that they split midway. Up at the second level, she could see from down below that there was a large deer’s head that was hanging over the fireplace they had up there. The sight of it drew her to groan out in disgust. She hated that kind of décor. Moving around the stairs, her eyes fell upon a row of old-fashioned slot machines that made her smirk. In that moment she wondered if they worked or if they were just part of the decor of the inn.

Just beyond the stairs was the large Christmas tree that had caught her eye once she had entered. It was two stories tall with the star reaching the second floor. It was an open lobby and this tree took up a lot of space. Beside the tree she felt small. The lights on it were white with red ornaments covering it along with a gold ribbon that wrapped around the tree. This tree was undoubtedly meant to be their center piece. She assumed that the overabundance of decorations was something that drew people to this inn.

Continuing around the tree and behind the staircase, her eyes fell upon a large fireplace and hanging above it was a large moose head. This was already turning out to be a place that she felt like she didn’t belong. On top of the moose’s head was a Christmas hat that she assumed the owners found charming, but she just found it…strange? A few Christmas stockings were hanging over the fireplace and that along with the fire were the only things that had appealed to her since she walked in. It felt warm from where she was standing. And considering what she was wearing wasn’t really the warmest of things, she found herself stepping closer to the fire.

By now? She had expected someone to greet her, but the lower level was still empty. Moving around the older styled chairs that were set up, she gasped when she realized that there was a man stretched out in one of the chairs before the fire sleeping. His head was dropped back against the chair, his arms draped over the side of it. He was wearing a pair of jeans and a green plaid button-down shirt that had a white t-shirt underneath. It looked like a few of the buttons on his shirt weren’t properly buttoned. His salt and pepper colored hair was messy. By the looks of him? He’d probably been sleeping there for a while.

Doing her best to avoid waking him, she tried to move around him to get near the fire. Right now she was sore. It had been over twenty-four hours since she had slept. She was on the plane for over seven hours. It had been a long day for her. All she wanted to do was unwind, relax and get some sleep.

Taking another moment to observe her surroundings, she realized that beside the fireplace was a ballroom. She didn’t know what it looked like inside, but she couldn’t imagine this place getting a lot of conventions or parties. Further to the right there was a hallway that had a sign over it pointing toward the restaurant, bar and bathrooms. Something told her that the restaurant was closed. Which was a shame because she was rather hungry. All she ate was a granola bar on the plane ride over here. The door was open to a small gift shop at the inn, but like the rest of the place, it was empty. With no one there it could have been easy for someone to steal, but she assumed they had cameras up somewhere. No one would just leave their store empty like that. At least not in New York City.

Truthfully? The only sign of life was the sleeping man that was behind her. Looking over her shoulder, she clung to her bag and cleared her throat. Maybe he would be able to help her. That first attempt didn’t work, so she stepped in closer. Trying again, that didn’t work either. Tapping her foot against his had him shifting in his sleep. His head dropped down, a groan falling from his throat. Lazily, he reached up with his right hand to drag his palm down over the side of his face over his tanned flesh. Stroking his fingers through his short beard, he stretched out his body and lifted his head. Unhurriedly, his chocolate-colored eyes fluttered to an open and when he saw her standing before him he gave her a grunt.

“Hello,” she lifted her hand and offered up a weak smile, that just got a wrinkle of his nose in return. “I was wondering if you knew where someone was that worked here so I could get a room. Registration is empty.”

Muttering something under his breath, the man just seemed to get more comfortable in the chair he was in. Scoffing, he buried his head against the side of the chair and closed his eyes again in attempts to get comfortable. Well, that was useless.

Moving away from the fire, she was realizing that there were hallways that led everywhere. Even if this was a small place, she was bound to get lost if she didn’t stick to where she was. Right now? She just wanted a room. She wanted sleep. Getting lost in the inn was something she could do tomorrow. Not during the middle of the night.

Hanging over the bathrooms were two signs. One that said cowboys and the other cowgirls. Part of her hoped that one of the employees had run off to the bathroom right before she had shown up, but something told her that wasn’t the case. Realizing she really had no other choice, she headed back for registration near the front. Already, she was missing the feeling of the warmth of the fire.

Stepping up to the counter, she looked over it to see if someone was in the office. When she was met by an empty room, she huffed loudly. Outstretching her hand, she did what she didn’t want to do in the first place and rang the bell. With how quiet the place was, it had the sound flooding the entire first floor. Cringing at the sound, she looked around hoping to see the person that was meant to help her coming from one of the many hallways that were near the lobby. Instead she was met with nothing. Hitting the bell again, she heard movement and looked over her shoulder to see that the man that was sleeping was stumbling over toward her.

“The hell are you doin’?” his deep, southern drawl surrounded her as he made his way beside her. Muttering something under his breath, his eyes grew wide as he tried to force himself awake. Snatching the bell, he took it from her like she was doing something wrong. “Do you have any idea what time it is?”

“Kind of, yeah,” she stammered, throwing her bag over her shoulder while she stared up at the man before her. If he didn’t come off like such a grumpy ass prick, she would have been appealed to his ruggedly handsome good looks, but right now she found herself more so annoyed with him. “That’s why I’m trying to get a room. I’d like to get some sleep.”

“And are you trying to wake everyone up in the inn by doing that?” he jeered, tossing the bell into the office that was behind the desk. Dropping his hands down to his hips, he shifted on his feet before her with the lines in his forehead becoming more prominent. There was no questioning that he was frustrated with her. “Or what?”

“Well, if someone was here I wouldn’t have to be ringing the bell. Now would I?” she snapped at the man before her, noticing the wrinkle at the bridge of his nose growing deeper. “I’m starting to regret asking someone for a suggestion at the airport. They said that this inn was the nicest one I would find in Jackson. I’m starting to second guess that.”

“I’m sure you would,” the man scoffed, a smirk tugging at his features hinting that his irritation with her was getting larger. “I imagine this kind of place is beneath you, isn’t it?”

“You get that from what exactly?” she wondered, folding her arms out in front of her chest evoking a muted laugh from him in return.

“I saw you walking around the lobby. Scrutinizing everything that you were looking at,” he explained, rocking back and forth on his feet after he shoved his hands into the pockets of his jeans. So he was watching her and pretending to be asleep? That wasn’t at all strange. “Let me tell you something lady. If you have a problem with this place? You’re gonna have a problem with the rest of the places in town.”

“Would I at least find someone at the front desk at the other locations around town to help me get a room?” she snapped at the stranger feeling her heart hammering inside of her chest with the way that he was treating her.

“I don’t know, why don’t you go and try to find out?” he snarled, tipping his head to the side with his dark eyes narrowing at her. “Now you go and enjoy that walk around town in the cold wearing only that. Let me know what you find out. That is if you don’t freeze by the time you get there.” 

“What the hell is your problem?” she hissed at him, her whole body tensing up.

The sound of feet shuffling behind them was heard and she realized that someone was quickly stumbling down the stairs. 

“I am so sorry,” another voice drew her to look back realizing that it was another man that was moving incredibly fast to join them. Once he reached the bottom, a grunt fell from him when he accidentally tripped making him miss the final two steps. Landing weird, the other man tried to gather himself before continuing to work a button down shirt up his arms over his gray t-shirt that was beneath. “You are gonna have to forgive my brother here. We weren’t expecting anyone. There were no reservations made for tonight. My name is Tommy Miller. I’m co-owner of this establishment.”

“Ah,” she breathed out, her eyes gazing down to Tommy’s hand when he extended it out to her. Accepting the gesture, she looked between the two brothers. Thinking back to the taxi ride over here made her remember something. “I’m going to take it you’re the younger brother?”

“Yes ma’am,” Tommy seemed impressed, a large smile tugging at his lips. Between the two? They were vastly different. Tommy gave off a very friendly demeanor whereas his brother looked like he had a permanent scowl over his face. “How’d you know that?”

“The taxi driver told me about the two of you on my way over here,” she spoke honestly, looking back to the original man she had been speaking to. “Told me that the younger brother was very nice. And the older one? Well, he was grumpy.”

“Grumpy?” the original man repeated with a roll of his eyes. Under his breath she was fairly certain she heard him mutter, “What a dick.”

“So which one of you were supposed to be here at registration?” she didn’t mean to be blunt, but she just wanted a room and this was already turning out to be more of an affair than she wanted it to be. By the way Tommy’s eyes looked, she could tell that her bickering with Joel had likely woken him up from sleeping.

“That was supposed to be my brother Joel,” Tommy released her to point his hand out toward the man she had been bickering with right before Tommy showed up. Why did that information not surprise her? “I had been here for twenty-four hours. I asked Joel to watch over the counter for me so I could get some sleep. I reckon because we didn’t have any reservations, Joel didn’t expect anyone to show up. I’m sorry for that.”

“So you two are the owners?” she confirmed with Tommy who nodded his head quickly in response.

“Gee, that was hard to put together. Like he didn’t already tell you that we were,” Joel snorted, bobbing his head about in a dramatic manner. Throwing his hand back, Tommy hit Joel over the center of the chest with the back of his hand. “If him telling you that we were didn’t help you realize that…” Joel held up his finger instructing her to wait. Moving over toward the entrance, Joel held his hand up to bring her attention to a photo that was on the wall that featured them. “It says right here that Joel and Tommy Miller are the proud owners of The Copper Peak Inn. Along with Tommy’s wife Maria.”

“Joel!” Tommy snapped at his brother attempting to get Y/N to look to him instead of at Joel who continued to make an ass of himself. “I’m very sorry. If you’re still interested in a room, I can give you a discount for my brother’s attitude. He gets grumpy when he’s tired.”

“I’m going to guess that you’re the one people like more,” she commented causing Joel to let out an annoyed, raspy laugh from behind her.

“Ha, that’s so funny,” Joel almost mocked her, letting out a surprised sound when she lifted her hand up to flick him off. Almost immediately Tommy laughed as he moved through the door to the room that led to registration, stopping at the counter. Glaring at his brother, Joel didn’t seem to approve that his brother got a kick out of her giving him attitude right back.

“What can I do for you ma’am?” Tommy tapped his hands on top of the counter and gave her another one of his big smiles. Reaching up, he brushed his long, dark hair back when she approached him.

“Is the inn pretty busy?” she looked around, looking back up toward the second level. She assumed that was where the rooms were since everything else seemed to lead to some kind of attraction that had to do with the inn.

“You do realize how close to Christmas it is, right?” Joel wondered, moving in behind her making her jump. Leaning against the wall beside her, Joel folded his arms in front of his chest getting a glare from Tommy from where he was standing. “People tend to be home with their families when it’s Christmas time.”

“Some people might be coming in to visit?” she quipped back, turning to face Joel finding herself wanting to fight with this guy since she was already so tense as it was. “I assume that you would have people that do that.”

“I mean sure, a few here and there, but this is Jackson, Wyoming. You really think the people that live here leave here?” Joel huffed, his head resting against the wall while he eyed her over. “People like to come and visit during the earlier month of December. Not the week of Christmas.”

“The taxi driver said on the way here that you two aren’t from here. That you moved here and bought the place,” she repeated what she had heard on the drive over. “So why did you two come here?”

“Because I was lost,” Tommy surprised her when he spoke up, drawing her attention back to him. “I was looking for something else in life and I found it here with my wife. My big brother here followed me. And the owners who had this before enjoyed our story so they let us buy the inn from them. They were charmed that we were brothers. Throughout time it was always two brothers that owned this place. We’re from Texas? Where are you from?”

“I live in New York City,” she answered, surprised how different Joel and Tommy were. “I just flew here from New Jersey. And I’ve been up for over twenty-four hours. I’d really just like to get a room please.”

“We can do that for you,” Tommy assured her with a wink, moving over to the computer to start typing something in. “So what kind of room were you looking to have? Just a regular room or would you prefer something that was themed?”

“What’s the best room you have?” she inquired hearing Joel grumble something under his breath from where he was leaning against the wall beside her.

“The best room is a two roomed suite that is made for more than one person because there are two beds,” Joel informed her with a grunt getting her eyes to fall back upon him. “So I don’t think you’re going to need the best room.”

“Okay, what’s the best room for one single person?” she revised her question trying to block out Joel who was staring out at her with an amused expression. Out of the corner of her eye, she couldn’t help but notice that he was looking her over like he was trying to determine the kind of person that she was.

“Well, that would probably be the cowboy suite,” Tommy offered up with another flashy smile, his brown eyes hopeful that she would want to stay after his brother had given her endless amounts of shit. “It’s got a spacious sitting area, a wet bar, a really nice bed. You get your own fridge, microwave, coffee maker, the whole deal really. It is western themed, but it’s the best suite we have. And for your troubles, I’ll give you twenty-five percent off the cost.”

“Sure, I’ll take that,” she agreed to the room listening to Tommy typing things in on the computer.

“Okay, so we’ll need a credit card and some ID,” Tommy explained to her having her digging through the bag that she was carrying in order to get what he was asking from her. “How many days were you planning on staying?”

“I’m not really sure,” she responded, getting a confused expression from Tommy. Feeling awkward and out of place, she cleared her throat and shrugged her shoulders. “Is there a way I can just go day by day? I just needed a break from my life and I ended up here. I don’t know how long I’m going to stay.”

“Well I just learned all I need to about you,” Joel spoke up, straightening up his back so that way he was standing beside her. “You’re rich because price means nothing to you. You don’t even know the price of the suite, yet you agreed. And unlike normal people, you can decide how long you do and do not want to stay somewhere.”

“And you’re very much welcome here,” Tommy declared, cutting his brother off before he could offend her any more from not wanting to be at their inn. “We’ll work with you. Just try to give us a day’s notice before you decide to leave. This suite is actually perfect for someone who is sticking around for an extended stay.”

“Do you have family here?” Joel felt like he was interrogating her even further while Tommy continued to put her information into the computer.

“No,” she was short with her answer.

“Do you like skiing?” Tommy spoke up with a positive energy that was attempting to match Joel’s negative. “We have some of the best mountains out here for people. And it’s a quick drive to the resort if you want to get some of that in before Christmas.”

“I…I really don’t like skiing. I have a fear of heights,” she explained to Tommy, clinging tightly to her bag when Joel’s laugh followed.

“Who comes all the way out to Jackson if they don’t have family here and they aren’t interested in skiing? That’s kind of the only reason to come out here. Especially during this time of the year. You’re from New York City, I’m sure there were other places you could have gone,” Joel continued to ramble on, getting a glare from her in response.

“Here are your cards Ms. Y/N. Uhm, we have a restaurant and bar that open in the morning. Same with our gift shop. You can do some gambling at night if you’re interested. We have a lot of historical things out and about that you can look at around the inn,” Tommy handed her over the key and then reached for a brochure to give her. “There are some really beautiful things to do and see out here. And of course if you have any questions, don’t be afraid to ask. Joel, why don’t you help her grab her bags. Do you have them waiting outside in the car?”

“No, this is my only bag,” she nodded toward the one that she was holding onto.

“You came here with only that?” Joel snickered, his face scrunching up in confusion. “You are aware that this is a winter town, right? And you’re planning on being here for a few days. Maybe?”

“We do offer up a laundry service,” Tommy stressed, visibly uncomfortable with the way that Joel was grilling this woman. “Joel, help her take her bag upstairs. Please.”

“It’s one single bag. She can handle it,” Joel sneered, waving his hand up in the air dismissively.

“Yeah, there is a chair calling out to him by the fireplace so he can go back to sleep,” she mocked Joel who glared back at her, shaking his head in amusement at her attitude toward him. “I wouldn’t want to keep you from that.”

“Just show her to the room, please,” Tommy begged of Joel, lowering down enough to rest his elbows against the top of the counter. Burying his head into his hands, Tommy was fit to be tied with his brother. By his reaction, she knew that Tommy was very much embarrassed.

“Sure, I’ll show you to your room. Would you prefer the stairs or the elevator,” Joel held one hand toward the direction behind him where the elevator was and the other toward the large set of stairs that were right at the front of the lobby.

“We can take the stairs,” she chose the thing that she thought would piss Joel off more considering he seemed lazy in the moment. Reaching for her bag, she seemed nervous to give it to him at first. A grunt fell from his throat and it was then she realized this was adding to his anger. Allowing him to take her bag, she stood waiting for him. Grumbling something under his breath Joel waited for her to start heading to the stairs and he followed her up. Side by side they moved, not saying a word. Just the sight of everything on the second floor had her second guessing every choice she was making. “What did I get myself into?”

“Huh?” Joel obviously didn’t hear her because she had whispered that question to herself. Shaking her head, she knew that she didn’t want to involve him in her thoughts. When they got upstairs, she saw the sitting area they had up there with another fireplace. On each side of the fireplace was a Christmas tree decorated very similar to the large one downstairs. “Are we gawking or…?”

“I’m sorry, I’m kind of taken aback by all the Christmas decorations,” she admitted, stepping before the fireplace that was lit. “No offense, but you don’t seem like the type to go for something like that.”

“It’s my brother and his wife,” Joel alerted her, moving in beside her as she gazed upon the stockings that were over this fireplace. “It’s always kinda been a tradition for this place to decorate for Christmas. This place is a staple for the town.”

“I see,” she didn’t know how to respond to that. This was just a small, two leveled inn. It was decorated, but she didn’t know if she would consider it nice. The old western theme was battling the Christmas theme and it was hard to take in.

“So tell me something,” Joel began, biting down on his bottom lip and slightly turning his head to gaze upon her. “What are you doing here? What drew you to Jackson?”

“Do you really care?” she asked, her eyebrows arching in a moment of surprise. Throughout her entire experience with Joel, he didn’t seem like the type to want to learn anything about her. By the expression over Joel’s face, he was deeply contemplating her question.

“No, not really,” Joel was blunt eliciting an offended breath from her. “I’m just curious about you. You’re a city girl. You have money. You could probably go anywhere in the world. And this is the place you pick? It’s hard to really determine what you’re doing here.”

“I didn’t choose it,” she explained, turning to face Joel who continued to look down at the fire. The lack of eye contact made her uncomfortable, but maybe it was the loneliness that was setting in that made her want to talk to someone. “I’m a trauma surgeon at a hospital in New York City.”

“Ah, lemme guess,” Joel smirked, slurring his words together as his eyebrow arched in amusement. “You became a doctor because you watched those medical dramas on the television when you were younger. And that life just appealed to you.”

“Yeah, because every doctor watches Grey’s Anatomy and decides that’s the life for them,” she snapped back at Joel who simply snickered under his breath. Rocking back and forth on his feet, Joel sighed loudly realizing he had gotten under her skin with his comment. “You don’t even care what happened so why am I bothering?”

“Because I wanna know how you ended up here. Specifically,” Joel stressed to her the information that he wanted from her. Pointing his finger down, he tapped his foot on the ground. That made her realize that he meant at The Copper Peak Inn in Jackson. “You don’t seem like the country girl. You’re afraid of heights. You don’t like the western era. I can tell that by the way you look at everything. You’re not a gambler. You snubbed your nose at that suggestion from my brother. So how did you end up here? Especially when you visibly hate everything that would draw someone here in the first place.”

“I packed a bag, I showed up at the airport and I asked the woman working there to pick a place for me that was completely unlike New York City,” she claimed, her eyebrows furrowing as she finally noticed Joel’s dimples with him smirking. “I didn’t even know where I was going until I showed up at the gate. And I ended up in this inn because the person at the airport suggested it to me. Said the owners were incredible and it was the best place to stay in town.”

“Hmm…” Joel hummed to himself, reaching up with his free hand to drag it down over the side of his face. “I don’t mean to dig it in, but you do realize how stupid that decision was. Right? When you go somewhere, you should know what you’re getting yourself into. What the weather is like, what the people are like…”

“I really don’t want to be lectured by you,” she interrupted him, her blood boiling with Joel rambling on about all the mistakes that he felt she made in coming here. “You have no idea what I’ve gone through or what even led me here.”

“And I don’t care to,” Joel blurt out, turning to her and waving his hand about in the air. By the color flooding into her cheeks, Joel could tell that she was furious with him and upset. “I’d love to tell you I care, but I don’t. Thank you for choosing this inn, my brother and his wife certainly appreciate it. I reckon you won’t be here long, but I hope you find yourself comfortable.”

Stepping forward, she snatched her bag from Joel suddenly feeling incredibly small standing before the man in front of her, “Where is my room?”

“Turn around,” Joel pointed toward the back hallway that led off toward the right. Snapping his fingers, Joel started to move toward the door. It was hard to miss because it was the first room she saw. When she approached it, she could see that there was a carving of a cowboy on a horse on the door. It was gaudy and ugly, but you couldn’t miss the room. They had a wreath hanging on the door that was partially blocking the design of the door. Reaching for her key, Joel was quick to grab it from her fingers to open the door for her. Once it pushed open, he extended his hand out and motioned her to walk through. “As you can see, this is your sitting area.”

Right now, she really didn’t need him to give her a tour of the inn room. More than anything she just wanted to be left alone. Standing at the center of the room she tried to force herself from looking at Joel. At the corner of the room was a Christmas tree that was lit up. Two red, leather couches were pressed against the walls beside the tree. A gigantic old west painting filled up one of the walls causing her to tense up at the sight of it. It was so ugly.

Looking over her shoulder, she saw that Joel was stepping into the room and it brought her attention to the desk area. Everything was wooden. The desk chair was a very rustic looking design where it looked like it was made from the branches of trees.

“Here is your wet bar,” Joel showed her some things, opening up a certain cabinet to show the mini refrigerator that was there. “There is a fridge, a microwave and whatever else you need. If you’re hungry or thirsty, there are vending machines right down the hallway. An ice machine is in there too. If you move into your room…”

Joel motioned her to go into the bedroom making her chuckle when she stepped inside of it. They weren’t lying when they told her it was old western themed. Even though it was spacious and it had a large king-sized bed, everything was incredibly old fashioned. From the seating to the bedframe and all of the art on the walls. Walking over to the bed, she set her bag down on top of it and reached for the teddy bear that was at the center of the bed. It was a large brown bear and it had a Santa hat on top of its head.

Holding it up, she looked back at Joel seeing that he was standing in the doorway leaning against the doorframe. Joel’s eyebrows bounced up and he shrugged dramatically looking at the stuffed animal, “The guests tend to like the gesture. Usually you can buy him, but if you like him I can throw him in for free.”

Sitting on the edge of the bed, she held the bear in her hands and out of the corner of her eye could see Joel pushing his hands into his pockets, “Considering I’m sure you’re gonna be quite lonely over the next few days.”

“I was waiting for the insult,” she frowned, shaking her head knowing that him offering the bear out of the kindness of his heart just didn’t seem to be this man’s way of doing things. Setting the bear aside, she got up from the bed and stepped in front of Joel. “Before you embarrass your brother any further, why don’t you go sleep off the whiskey that is overpowering your breath right now.”

Slowly, the arrogant smirk over Joel’s features left and a sense of anger flooded over him, “I smelled it on you from the moment I approached you at the fire. I just didn’t say anything because I assumed you were having a bad day just like I was. But I’m sick of it. Thank you for showing me to my room, but I’d like you to leave. Please.”

“As you wish,” Joel did somewhat of a bow, backstepping toward the sitting room. When he heard her calling out to him, he stopped and looked back. Approaching him slowly, she was holding some money in her hand and it made him smirk. “What’s that?”

“You’re supposed to tip someone when they help you,” she reminded him holding it out with Joel’s dark eyes lowering down to look at the bills in her hand. “It’s customary.”

“I’m co-owner of the inn, I don’t need your money,” Joel alerted her, tipping his head from side to side. Giving a weak smile followed by a wink, Joel back stepped toward the door and shrugged. “Keep it. Sweet dreams there Y/N.”

And with that, Joel left her room and closed the door behind him. Standing there for a moment longer, she shoved the money back into her pocket. Taking a look around the suite that she got, she wondered if this really was a mistake. The only good thing about this place was that it was incredibly quiet.

Walking to the window, she pushed aside the curtain to look outside. Down below she could see that she was looking at the front of the building. This was like something out of a movie set. All of the buildings were still liked the old west. It was like she had jumped back in time visiting this town.

Dropping the curtains back down, she headed back toward the bed and dropped down. Laying sprawled out across the center of it allowed her legs to hang over the side. Even the fan was incredibly old fashioned. Thankfully it was clean, but there were so many turn offs and red flags from the start. Joel being one of them. Tommy seemed like a sweet guy, but she just hoped that she wouldn’t have to deal with Joel much throughout her time here. The reason she left home was because she was miserable. If being here was going to make her feel worse, that didn’t make much sense now, did it? 

[bonefall]

I know it’s just an idea, the leader ritual, but I have questions I thought of immediately

If a leader prior was driven out, would they still use the exiled leader’s lives as reference for the ceremony?

If a leader is exiled without having lost a life, what would they do instead?

Did Tigerclaw just get pollen a single time for Nightstar, who didn’t actually have his lives, or get stuff representing Brokenstar, or since he was exiled, would was he cleansed with Raggedstar’s lives?

Also it’s a metal as h*ck image imagining Blackfoot being welcomed in a shower of blood for every life Tigerstar had taken that day. It’s such a powerful image in my head, standing there as the blood runs down his fur yet he remains standing there unflinching, face unreadable.

Hmmm...

Previous Leader Driven Out

This is the kind of complex situation where it would depend on what sort of message the new leader wants to send. How much of the Clan stands behind them? Are they trying to court those who don't support them, or are they trying to shame them with what they did?

BB!Nightstar would want to court them, which frustrates the cats who actually put him in power. Deerfoot would have demanded he be anointed by Brokenstar's victims. Let the Clan see the rotten blood and grave soil of WindClan cats and ShadowClan warriors alike; impossible to tell which droplet comes from who.

But instead, Nightstar has someone slash open his forehead. His own blood anoints his fur. "The blood of the rebels who drove him away." A signal that such radical behavior is behind them, a return to normal.

Deerfoot, in the crowd, wishes he would bleed himself dry for it.

In general though-- it would be pretty rare for this ceremony to ignore a previous leader, legitimate or not. The purpose is to "clean away" that which came before, like ending an era. For example; if Icestar chooses to be anointed in acknowledgement of Mistystar instead of Splashstar, she would be including Splashstar's brief rule within her own era.

(Which could be a choice worth making, if she has a point to make.)

Peacefully Abdicated

This is a shameful thing to Clan Cats. You are given your lives to die for your Clan 9 times. This ritual would be pretty extreme, because the new Star REALLY wants to scrub away that association.

It would probably use salt. In the old territory, this is one of the rarest and most useful substances they have. It's a flavoring, it's an effective parasite killer, it's an antiseptic for wounds. Anointment by gold dust, essentially.

For Pinestar, they might use crushed up kibble for a clean break. Tigerkit formative memory unlocked; Sunstar standing on the highrock, furious and disgusted, brown dust streaked through his golden fur and quivering on his angry whiskers.

What was Tigerstar anointed with?

Pollen for Nightstar's illness. Runningnose wouldn't want to jeopardize Tigerstar's legitimacy by revealing the fact Nightpelt was unblessed. ShadowClan cannot go another day without strong leadership...

Especially not in BB where there's a non-zero chance Runny violently smothered Nightstar for briefly looking like he was about to survive his plague LOL. He has immense self control but every time he looks at Nightstar he's biting back the I Have No Mouth And I Must Scream hate speech.

(It massively amuses me that every member of the Mudlizard Family in BB hates Nightstar for completely different reasons. You cant mention politics at Cat Thanksgiving unless youre cursing Nightstar.)

[the-record]

kissing lessons: 1

synopsis: ellie’s a year older and the smartest girl you know. such a shame she can’t stick around.

song: kissing lessons - lucy dacus

pairing: young!ellie x young!reader

warnings: none????

a/n: this was so fun to write and pt 2 will be out, this lowkey just sets up the next part(s?) also barely proofread, im lazy

part 1, part 2, part 3, part 4

“mom, can i go meet ellie?”

“did you finish your dinner?”

you hummed, setting the dirty plate in the sink beside her. “please? i did my homework too. and fed the dog!” she stopped washing dishes and looked to you. “pretty please? with a cherry on top?”

she sighed and rinsed a plate. “alright. but you come right home when the street lights turn on. okay?” you hugged her waist and slipped on shoes before running out the door.

she was waiting for you standing on the seat of a swing. “that looks dangerous!” you called as you ran over.

she turned back, hopping down when she was it was you and sitting properly. “says who?” you rolled your eyes and set at the swing beside her. “did you see mr. anderson today?”

you giggled and nodded. “i feel bad for abby, must be kinda embarrassing to have your dad as principal.” ellie nodded in agreement, humming a tune.

“i dont like abby.” you cocked your head at her, a silent question in your eyes. “she’s such a show off in p.e. and she gets special treatment because of her dad. so unfair.”

you kicked off, sending the swing into motion. “i think she’s smart. and pretty.”

“yea…” ellie joined you, pumping her legs back and forth to get higher. “my uncle’s in town.”

“your uncle?” she nodded, looking forward at the tree line. you thought for a moment before speaking. “have you ever even met him before? what’s he like? is he like mr. miller?”

she smiled softly. “he said to stop calling him mr. miller. said it makes him feel old.”

“he is old!” you both laughed, still flying high in the air.

ellie stopped kicking, though you didnt notice, very slowly losing air. “uncle tommy is nice i guess. his wife scares me a little.” she sighed before turning to you. “i didnt see you at recess, where were you?”

your feet grazed the ground as you came to a stop. “cole asked to play tag.”

“but you hate tag,” ellie said, getting off to stand in front of you. “did you play tag with him?”

you shrugged before nodding. “my mom said i should. says he likes me.” you kicked at the ground, staring at the wood chips moving. “boys chase girls they like.”

ellie huffed and crossed her arms. “but he’s mean, he teases you. all the time!”

“boys are mean to girls they like too.”

“that makes no sense.” she flopped to the ground, arms still crossed across her chest.

you got off the swing, sitting in front of her. “what do boys like?”

“i dont know… kissing i guess.” she averted her gaze as she said it, choosing the ground to focus on.

you were taken aback. kissing? only old people did that, you thought. how do you even kiss? what if he tried to kiss you, and you didnt know how? “do you know how to?”

“what? how to kiss?” you nodded shyly, meeting her eyes. “yeah. i could teach you tomorrow, after school. joel and tommy are going out.” you nodded again. “okay. we’ll walk to my place from the bus stop then.”

the lights flickered on, signaling your time to leave. “i better get going.”

ellie nodded in agreement, getting up and holding out a hand to you. she pulled you in a hug before pushing you towards your house and walking backwards to her own. “ill see you tomorrow!”

you smiled and waved as you both ran home, butterflies fluttering.

“who is this ellie character?” your mom looked to you in the rearview mirror as she asked.

you smiled, sitting up to tell her. “my friend. she’s a year older than me, but she lives across the street. mr. millers daughter.” your mom hummed as you continued. “she’s really funny and nice. im going over to her house after school today.”

“and mr. miller doesnt mind?” she asked as she pulled into the drop off line.

“no ma’am.”

she parked and turned around, a smile on your face. “alright then. you have a good day, and please be good at the millers.” you nodded grabbing your backpack.

the day dragged as you waited for the bell to dismiss you. when it finally did, you met ellie by the bus, clambering on together.

“i found lip gloss in sarah’s room. she told me i could have it because she didnt use it anymore.” ellie smiled as she told you the plan.

“i wish i had a big sister. sarah is so cool.” you both nodded before moving on to some gossip you’d heard that day.

you entered ellies house hand in hand and she pulled you to her room. giggling as you sat the on the bed, ellie grabbed the gloss from her nightstand and sat in front of you. you tried to keep a straight face as she put it on you, and she tried to when you did the same.

“okay, now do this.” she puckered her lips as you giggled. “c’mon…” you nodded and copied her. “okay. now we lean in and… close our eyes!” you felt nervous as she sat up straight. “ready?”

you both leaned in without a second thought, your lips barely touching before you both pulled away giggling. “this is so weird.” ellie agreed with you, nodding and smiling.

“good weird.”

you ‘practiced’ a couple more times and fell beside each other on her bed.

“was that your first kiss?” you wondered aloud.

she hummed, turning to look at you. “yea. was it yours?”

“yea.”

“what do you mean you’re moving?”

you jumped up from the bed when ellie gave you her big news. how could she be moving? she couldnt leave you.

“dad says he wants to be closer to uncle tommy. apparently he and maria are… ‘in the family way’ or whatever.” she picked at her cuticles, pressing down on her thumb when it began to bleed.

you groaned and crossed your arms. “thats so unfair!”

ellie’s eyes teared up and you sat down beside her, leaning your head on her shoulder. “im gonna miss you.” you whispered. “a lot.”

“me too.”

you had to have been mistaken. ellie had moved away so long ago, there was no way she was back. there was always new people filtering in and out of your town, must’ve been one of them.

but mr. miller was harder to excuse.

“ellie, isn’t that your old friend?”

the butterflies crept back in as she turned around, her eyes locking with yours.

“damn. you grew up.”

[rootspiral]

Agatha All Along deep dive: episode 4 part 4

(Wandavision entries: [1][2][3])

(AAA entries: ep1 [1][2][3][4] ep2 [1][2][3][4] ep3 [1][2][3] ep4 [1][2][3][4][5][6][7][+1] ep5 [1][2][3][4][5] ep6 [1][2][3] ep7 [1][2][3][4][5][6] ep8 [1][2][3][4][5][6][7][8][9] ep9 [1][2][3][4][5][6])

agatha once again protecting billy with her whole body.

"I didn't think it was real! I thought it was me, that it's my fault that I can't keep a job, that everything I touch turns to shit! That I couldn't save her!"

The poison drips through (yes I love Succession). Generational curse, generational trauma. The pain of who knows how many centuries of parents and grandparents and great-grandparents times a thousand. It's like a boulder that you're carrying around on your shoulders, and you can't see it and you can't put a name to it, how could you? How can you possibly know why your mother drank herself stupid, why your grandmother abused her children? You were born yesterday and drank all that poison without knowing what it was, you let it take it over and you walk around spreading it to the world.

And amidst all the pain, alice only ever chose to blame and hurt herself and she was always gentle to others. her biggest regret is not having been able to save her mom! you know why alice never turned into a villain like agatha? because her mom loved her. as simple and as that. lorna was so ill-equipped to save alice, she didn't know what she was up against, she was in a world of pain herself. and she went above and beyond to show her child how infinitely precious and loved she was.

oh wow, I usually say I'm crying as a figure of speech, but I am crying for real thinking about this.

lilia who has lived so long and experienced her big share of suffering, knowing all too well what alice is going through. there's so much compassion in her voice

jen stubbornly refusing to care about anything but her own pain, which is actually a very human way to respond to trauma? it's like she's at a crossroads and it's up to her to choose whether she goes back to being the force of good she used to be, or whether she goes down agatha's same path. I say it's up to her because it ultimately is, but she was so lucky finding this coven and community at such a crucial moment. agatha didn't have any of it.

no! don't apologize, you beautiful, generous soul! the sense of guilt and inferiority complex is real

agatha's face when billy is attacked

she starts running toward him even before alice

but when she gets there she freezes and lets alice go check on him

when she sees he's fine, she sighs and collapses against the door, clutching her chest.

lilia is really starting to get attached to everyone, and throughout her life love and loss have always been inherently linked. she already knows she's going to lose them.

okay jen refusing to leave the circle is still funny, I'll give her that

through all this rio has been watching and studying agatha, she always does. she knows that her diabolically smart wife loves to be in charge and come up with plans. she's being encouraging!

look at how small alice is! she's been helping and consoling billy just a moment ago, despite being miserable herself.

first of all, that's hilarious, so jot that down. second of all, you know agatha is so relieved she has to put on a show instead of doing something icky like, idk, sitting in a circle and talking about their feelings. and look at rio at the drums, she's already put all the clues together as well

oooh, she's doing the thing! she's detectiving! agatha harkness ladies and gentlemen, her hobbies are women, murder and puzzles.

and who gives her the solution? who has had millennia to study and commiserate human love and grief? she says it and she looks at agatha so pointedly.

The song that's so irrevocably linked to Nicky's memory, the song that she's been desecrating and using as a means to kill. A mother took it and poured all her love into it and made it pure again. Agatha has to live with that now, and you know that's going to take root inside her and affect her no matter what

this whole performance is patti going I might be singing backup again but watch me be a total diva about it

I LOVE YOU PATTI LUPONE

you'd think that alice should sing lead vocals here, seeing as it's her trial and her mom's song and all. WELL THINK AGAIN

the massive ego agatha has, honestly. you gotta respect that.

the feeling when you are the only normal person in a group of total hooligans. did I already say how gorgeous sasheer looks in that outfit? no I didn't. you are an apparition, sasheer.

but I want the song to have its own separate entry so hold on tight, brb

go to episode 4 part 5

[nellasbookplanet]

In the wake of FCG' fate I've been thinking about death in ttrpgs, and how it kind of exists on three levels:

There’s the gameplay level, where it only makes sense for a combat-heavy, pc-based game to have a tool for resurrection because the characters are going to die a lot and players get attached to them and their plotlines.

Then there’s the narrative level, where you sort of need permanent death on occasion so as not to lose all tension and realism. On this level, sometimes the player will let their character remain dead because they find it more interesting despite there being options of resurrection, or maybe the dice simply won’t allow the resurrection to succeed.

Then, of course, there’s the in-universe level, which is the one that really twists my mind. This is a world where actual resurrection of the actual dead is entirely obtainable, often without any ill effects (I mean, they'll be traumatized, but unless you ask a necromancer to do the resurrection they won’t come back as a zombie or vampire or otherwise wrong). It’s so normal that many adventurers will have gone through it multiple times. Like, imagine actually living in a world where all that keeps you from getting a missing loved one back is the funds to buy a diamond and hire a cleric. As viewers we felt that of course Pike should bring Laudna, a complete stranger, back when asked, but how often does she get this question? How many parents have come and begged her to return their child to them? How many lovers lost but still within reach? When and how does she decide who she saves and who she doesn’t?

From this perspective, I feel like every other adventurer should have the motive/backstory of 'I lost a loved one and am working to obtain the level of power/wealth to get them back'. But of course this is a game, and resurrection is just a game mechanic meant to be practically useful.

Anyway. A story-based actual play kind of has to find a way to balance these three levels. From a narrative perspective letting FCG remain dead makes sense, respects their sacrifice, and ends their arc on a highlight. From a gameplay level it is possible to bring them back but a lot more complicated than a simple revivify. But on an in-universe level, when do you decide if you should let someone remain dead or not? Is the party selfish if they don’t choose to pursue his resurrection the way they did for Laudna? Do they even know, as characters, that it’s technically possible to save someone who's been blown to smithereens? Back in campaign 2, the moment the m9 gained access to higher level resurrection they went to get Molly back (and only failed because his body had been taken back by Lucien). At the end of c1, half the party were in denial about Vax and still looking for ways to save him, because they had always been able to before (and had the game continued longer it wouldn’t have surprised me had they found a way). Deanna was brought back decades after her death (and was kind of fucked up because of it). Bringing someone back could be saving them, showing them just how loved and appreciated they are. Or it could be saving you, forcing someone back from rest and peace into a world that's kept moving without them because you can’t handle the guilt of knowing you let them stay gone when you didn’t have to. How do you know? How would you ever know?

[blueepink07]

My interpretation of Diana's character

(spoilers for chapter 1 and fte!!)

I find it interesting how many people believed that Diana is the mastermind, when the prologue released, and still believe that she is hiding something, especially since we see the events from Damon's perspective. And for me it's really odd, because I feel like Diana doesn't act with other ill-mannered intentions in mind, but out of consideration for others. So much so that I think that she has become a people pleaser. 

Starting with her animal motif, the chameleon, everyone knows it for its ability to change its appearance as a form of protection, in order to survive. Many people tied the chameleon with her ultimate talent, because as the ultimate cosmetologist she can change others and her appearance with make-up. But I think it goes further than this. Her personality is rather unpredictable. Of course, she is usually bubbly, and very talkative, however, it seems she cares a lot about what others think of her. 

At the end of chapter 1, after the trial, the conversation she has with Eva, highlights some interesting details about her character as a whole. She wanted to make both Wolfgang and Eva happy. However, these two had contrasting beliefs, two sides of the same coin. She was forced to choose between two different points of views… But she wasn't able to. So she tried to support both of them, the best she could.

In the end, this choice led Eva to not trust Diana's kindness at all, because she knew Diana was never fully on her side. She would still agree to what Wolfgang said, which implied going against her. What comes next is more concerning, however. And I’m not talking about the fact that Diana might become the antagonist in the future chapter, but strictly about what it will become of her character. To throw away your sense of self so easily and to state that you will live to fulfill somebody else's wish, that she will change to become more like Wolfgang and continue on his footsteps…

And then, I've completed her two fte's and realised that her decision to continue Wolfgang's legacy makes sense. Damon, in the second fte, asks her why she never told anything about herself, but insisted for him to open up more. From Damon's perspective, of course he finds her behavior suspicious, because considering the context and the fact that they are in a killing game, Diana is at advantage, not sharing information about herself.

So I've decided to look again at Diana's first fte and this part was truly interesting. 

She asks if Damon wants her to become his follower. The report card summarizes the conversation by stating that Diana asked Damon what he wanted her to be.

Considering all these aspects, I have reached the conclusion that Diana doesn't really have a "sense of self". She is always seen changing the way she behaves in order to please the person she has a conversation with or is seen asking how she can improve in order to meet the expectations. The reason why she even went to the boiler room was also because she didn't want to disappoint Wolfgang. Diana's always thinking about how others perceive her, so much so that, with time, it seems she has lost her sense of self.

That’s why, the moment when Damon wants Diana to talk about herself, she is restless. Diana has no idea what to say. The only thing we learn about her is the fact that her family is nice and supportive and she never had to worry about money. But she didn't continue on with the conversation, because she felt like she was bragging.

Moreover, she always seems to see the good in people, but is harsher on herself.

Despite Eva being the culprit, Diana considers that it is solely her fault for not saving both her and Wolfgang. Even after the way Eva treated her, she can't see her as a bad person. Diana acknowledges that nothing will ever be the same, but is still standing strong, wishing that her actions will give hope to others. She hasn't just  covered the wound that she received from Wolfgang, but, indirectly, also her trauma and her negative thoughts about herself by stating that she will change, in order for others to not suffer anymore. 

Maybe I'm just biased, but I can't see Diana having any bad intentions. She is just a 17 year old, who experienced something very traumatic, and is trying her best to help the people around her by putting her own needs aside, changing the way she behaves so the others can feel comfortable around her. 

[copperbadge]

I deal with death a lot in my job, because I work for a nonprofit that serves a population dealing with terminal illness; even with early diagnosis, which itself is rare, the average survival rate past diagnosis is about five years. I read a lot of obituaries on a weekly basis and I know when a donor passes because I'm part of the team that alters the database record to reflect when someone has died.

Usually the death is at arm's length, both because I've had practice with that and because I don't often know these people, I don't work directly with them the way doctors and fundraisers do. But we do encourage those who are able to participate in the activity of the nonprofit -- we have a program to fund support groups, we have patients and patient families on our board, and I work events and socials where they attend. So of the roughly thirty thousand people we serve, we're in close contact with perhaps five hundred, and of those I know maybe twenty personally.

This morning is the first time someone I've known personally, more than just to nod at during an event, had passed. I found out by accident; nobody has officially told us yet, but we started receiving gifts in her memory, and I get notifications of those automatically. We knew she was in hospice; I found out when confirming her death that she fortunately had access to a legal option to choose when to end her life, and she chose to do so on Wednesday night.

Dying from the disease is a fairly horrible way to die, so I'm glad she had that option and knew when it was time. She gave a lot of her time and energy to the organization and I'm glad she finally gets to rest. But fuck, it's rough to see her name in the "In Memory Of" field of the gift listings.

I wish I could say something like "Get screened!" or "Don't ignore these warning signs!" but this disease is idiopathic and incurable; there are treatments to prolong life, but when it comes for you, the clock starts. She had as much time as anyone gets post-diagnosis. She lived a life of purpose and was a kind person and that's all there is to be said, really.