#i just really liked that she was choosing to live with her illness because she didn't want to risk releasing bakur

[cxlandine]

am i a total asshole for being kind of upset that they totally healed lydia? i know disabilities in fantasy are tough because there are spells that can fix everything but i get a bit sad imagining the new art of her without the gem standing up.

[allsadnshit]

Sometimes I think about my best friend in my 20's response to when I told her I was envious of how talented and skilled she was cause she was always the friend that was doing a million new hobbies and just really had it together in my eyes and she seemed so disappointed in me and said how she's always been perceived as "talented" for things she was not a natural at and had actually worked tirelessly hard to learn to do and how it's never a compliment to assume someone has something you don't simply because they got lucky because more often than not they were just as capable as you and just chose to take risks, dedicate time, push through discomforts or doubts that maybe you succumb to, and really earned things that are often nonchalantly disregarded by peers as having walking in with already in hand

And I feel like that conversation really changed me cause I've always been bad at school and been a slow learner so I just sort of decided I wasn't smart and it wasn't my fault I wasn't born with the same advantages of people around me and I think that's something we all do as self protection from the truth that the only thing truly keeping us from what we want is usually ourselves and our decisions about our own narratives that aren't actually in stone even if we see them that way

I realized my friend was actually just not a quitter, and that she also felt not good enough often but decided to keep going in times where I know I would have stopped in her place

And I feel like taking ownership of my life a lot in the last few years has made me understand her better, even with stuff like chronic illness that practically begs us to victimize ourselves and then that way of thinking makes us sicker and more dependent on others when we could be accepting help without considering ourselves so helpless

It's really weird interacting with anyone once I've realized so much of that because I see my old self in people when they talk to me like I have something they don't because I am finally making different choices than I used to and honestly it is very irritating regardless of intention

If you want something someone else has that doesn't give you permission to assume how they got it or what it is even like having it - and I think more and more people have decided it's not their fault how they are choosing to live and that's why they are so stuck

[citricacidprince]

doodle request on relativity falls - id love 2 see ur vers of fiddleford and where he stands in the story!! :DD

Of course!!!

Oh Fiddleford, my dearly beloved Fiddleford, he’s just a little guy who makes machines that hurt people and I love him for that <3

In my Relativity Falls AU Fidds is a kid from Tennessee who moved to Gravity Falls pretty recently, like in the past year.

He’s still really handy with mechanics, like a genuine prodigy, but he’s so riddled with anxiety that it’s a battle to get him to share any of his projects outside of his robots he makes to get revenge on those who wrong him!

He really does like hanging out with the twins, he thinks their both fun and is very happy they actually wanna be his friend, however their constant ‘Getting into weird and magical trouble’ is so stress inducing to him he’s going to get gray hairs by the time he’s 20 (Dipper can relate-)

I don’t have a lot of things solidified for him yet, other than I want him to be EXTREMELY tempted to use the Memory Gun on himself, to forget a lot of the horrifying things he’s seen over the summer, but is stopped by Candy (The inventor of the gun) at the last second. You see, Candy didn’t spiral like Fiddleford did in the show, she only ever used the memory gun on herself once. However, she used it to erase every bit of knowledge she ever learned about the weirdness of Gravity Falls, and Candy had spent YEARS of her life dedicated to it, she was arguably more curious about the weirdness of Gravity Falls than Dipper was. He was only curious out of morbid curiosity, she saw the whimsy and wonder in it all. So when Candy used the Memory Gun on herself and erased such a huge chunk of her memory it cracked her psyche, not leaving her a rambling and insane kook like Fiddleford, but more oblivious and unaware to everything around her while also being a liiiiittle ‘not all there’.

Between the two of them Candy definitely got the better end of the stick. Fiddleford was deemed insane and used the memory gun over and over again until he couldn’t even remember who he was anyone, his life falling apart. Candy used it once to make sure no one could ever use her research to hurt anyone after she learned her lab partner was literally working with an otherworldly being who could go into peoples heads and it cracked her mind because her research WAS her entire life, leaving her oblivious and dazed. However, Candy managed to find people who cared about her and were willing to care for her despite this. Sure she lives in the dump, but whenever a storm comes through or she gets hungry she can always go up to her friends Grenda, Mabel Mason, or even Pacifica at some point to help her out. Fiddleford had no one.

I want Candy to give Fidds a little pep talk, convincing him that despite those memories being scary and uncomfortable he’s going to need all of them because they’re what will help him grow as a person. He can’t just pick and choose which ones he wants because one day he’ll realize he doesn’t have any memories left to burn.

Maybe there could even be a moment where Fidds tries to use the memory gun on Candy because he convinces himself he NEEDS it and doesn’t want to deal with the consequences of hating choice, but freezes up when he realizes it does work on her anymore. The realizes what he just did because of how badly he wanted that memory gun seconds after he did it and starts to tremble, dropping the memory gun as he begins uncontrollably crying that he ‘didn’t mean it’ and he’s sorry. Candy wouldn’t hold it against him, just seeing a scared kid who was so desperate to make the mind numbing anxiety that he would do anything, and she’d hug him and tell him it’s okay before leading him back to the rest of the group.

Fiddleford makes me soooo ill I love him <3

[synchodai]

I get this impression that House of the Dragon doesn't get that "named" heirs aren't really the norm in Westeros. If it were that easy for someone to just give everything to their favorite child, Randall Tarly wouldn't have needed to force Sam to go to the Wall and Tywin could have simply chosen Cersei over Tyrion as heir of Casterly Rock.

If we look at the history Westeros borrows from, the concept of "naming" heirs wasn't really a thing in medieval England. Landed gentry didn't have direct say over the order of succession until the Statute of Wills in 1540. Before then, land and subsequent titles could only be inherited through agnatic primogeniture.

Agnatic primogeniture prioritized the living, eldest, trueborn son. Claims can only be passed on patrilineally. This means that a grandaughter can inherit a claim of her grandfather's titles through her father, but a grandson cannot be given the same through his mother. However, if his mother finally does have land and titles under her own name (not under her father's), only then does her son and other children enter the line of succession.

The reason it was like this was because it kept land and titles under one family. Daughters are less preferred because when they are married, they become part of their husband's family — meaning that any titles they receive will be inherited through a new line. This wouldn't be an ideal situation because it gives two families claims to the titles. The more claimants there are, the more unstable the hold the owner has.

In other words, agnatic primogeniture was practiced for stability. Because back in the day, titles weren't just property or land. They came with governorship over a people, so a stable and predictable transfer of titles was necessary to avoid civil conflicts and questions of legitimacy.

A landed lord or lady wasn't given the right to designate heirs for a few reasons:

Most of them were vassals who oversaw the land in the name of someone higher up. It technically isn't even theirs to give away (see: feudal land tenure).

The wishes of a human being are less predictable than having a determined line of succession based on birth order. What if he becomes incapable of declaring an heir either through illness or disability? What if he's captured and a bad actor forces him to name this person heir under threat of violence?

People died unexpectedly all time. This was before germ theory and modern medicine — child mortality was extremely high. With no refrigeration technology, a single poor harvest could mean dying from starvation. Bandits, cutthroats, and raiders were a constant threat. They could not afford to rely on a person choosing a different heir every time the old heir drops dead, because the landed lord/lady could die just as suddenly.

Even 21st century families stab each other in the back over who gets grandma's house — so imagine having an uncertain line of succession in the middle ages over a life-defining lordship and without a modern-day court system to mediate.

Going back to HotD, whenever Targaryens did go against the established line of succession, they could only have done it by consolidating the support of their vassals. Only royalty seemed to have the power to bend agnatic primogeniture, but even then they were beholden to it.

When Jaehaerys I ascended the throne over Aerea, it was mainly because there were those who saw Maegor the Cruel's act of disinheriting Jaehaerys as null and void. This restored Jaehaerys place in the line of succession above Aerea.

And when Rhaenys was passed over for Baelon, Jaehaerys had to convene his lords and offer compelling reasons as to why — her young age, her lack of an heir, her Velaryon last name, etc. It wasn't a given that just because she was a woman that she was ineligible. If he was doing it purely out of misogyny, he still had to legally justify his misogyny in order to strip away her rights.

Even after consolidating support, the book mentions Jaehaerys I and Viserys I's respective hold on the crown was still weakened. Even though their claims were backed by reasons cosigned by a powerful majority, they still had to ensure the security of their rule through other means. There were people who doubted their right to rule, and those people had to be placated with gifts (by Viserys) or intimidated into submission (by Jaehaerys).

So we come to Viserys I who never gave his vassals a reason why Rhaenyra should supercede his three sons other than, "I said so." Had he convened with his lords and maybe made the argument that a first marriage takes precendence over a second one, then maybe he could have set a new precedent and gathered support.

But no, he didn't. He relied on the power of his own words and the lords' personal oaths — oaths that he didn't exactly plan how he would enforce posthumously.

And the Realm did not choose to adopt a different succession law after Jaehaerys's designation of Baelon in 92 AC or the Council of Harrenhal choosing Viserys on 101 AC. If those two events did change anything, it was that now women were exempt from the line of succession for the crown and only the crown. It did not set the precedence that monarchs could freely choose heirs. It did not upend the whole system; it only made a tweak, as most lawful policy-changes do, by carving out at an exception. It was a committee, not a revolution.

Before and after the Dance, no other monarch, lord, or lady "declared" an heir that went against agnatic primogeniture, save for Dornish who have cognatic (equal-gender) primogeniture instead. Ramsay had to get rid of Roose Bolton's living trueborn son AND be legitimized by the crown in order to be recognized as heir (only a crowned monarch can legitimize baseborn children which is another world-building pillar a lot of people miss). Randall basically had to force Sam to abdicate because he wanted his younger brother to inherit instead. And of course, Tywin despite his intense hatred of Tyrion is forced to acknowledge him as his heir.

The rigidity of the line of succession is a major and constant source of conflict in the series, so it baffles me that people really thought that characters could just freely choose their heirs. That's why we have a civil war. It wasn't a misunderstanding. It's the expected consequences of someone carelessly going against a foundational tenent of the society they inhabit.

[nellasbookplanet]

In the wake of FCG' fate I've been thinking about death in ttrpgs, and how it kind of exists on three levels:

There’s the gameplay level, where it only makes sense for a combat-heavy, pc-based game to have a tool for resurrection because the characters are going to die a lot and players get attached to them and their plotlines.

Then there’s the narrative level, where you sort of need permanent death on occasion so as not to lose all tension and realism. On this level, sometimes the player will let their character remain dead because they find it more interesting despite there being options of resurrection, or maybe the dice simply won’t allow the resurrection to succeed.

Then, of course, there’s the in-universe level, which is the one that really twists my mind. This is a world where actual resurrection of the actual dead is entirely obtainable, often without any ill effects (I mean, they'll be traumatized, but unless you ask a necromancer to do the resurrection they won’t come back as a zombie or vampire or otherwise wrong). It’s so normal that many adventurers will have gone through it multiple times. Like, imagine actually living in a world where all that keeps you from getting a missing loved one back is the funds to buy a diamond and hire a cleric. As viewers we felt that of course Pike should bring Laudna, a complete stranger, back when asked, but how often does she get this question? How many parents have come and begged her to return their child to them? How many lovers lost but still within reach? When and how does she decide who she saves and who she doesn’t?

From this perspective, I feel like every other adventurer should have the motive/backstory of 'I lost a loved one and am working to obtain the level of power/wealth to get them back'. But of course this is a game, and resurrection is just a game mechanic meant to be practically useful.

Anyway. A story-based actual play kind of has to find a way to balance these three levels. From a narrative perspective letting FCG remain dead makes sense, respects their sacrifice, and ends their arc on a highlight. From a gameplay level it is possible to bring them back but a lot more complicated than a simple revivify. But on an in-universe level, when do you decide if you should let someone remain dead or not? Is the party selfish if they don’t choose to pursue his resurrection the way they did for Laudna? Do they even know, as characters, that it’s technically possible to save someone who's been blown to smithereens? Back in campaign 2, the moment the m9 gained access to higher level resurrection they went to get Molly back (and only failed because his body had been taken back by Lucien). At the end of c1, half the party were in denial about Vax and still looking for ways to save him, because they had always been able to before (and had the game continued longer it wouldn’t have surprised me had they found a way). Deanna was brought back decades after her death (and was kind of fucked up because of it). Bringing someone back could be saving them, showing them just how loved and appreciated they are. Or it could be saving you, forcing someone back from rest and peace into a world that's kept moving without them because you can’t handle the guilt of knowing you let them stay gone when you didn’t have to. How do you know? How would you ever know?

[retroaria]

hey! I'm not really into nsfw stuff- sooo would you like to do something soft with reo? 😭 like, idk, him as a husband or father so with a family? THANK YOU SO MUCH 💗💗

✮⋆˙ domestic reo headcanons ✮⋆˙

a/n: this is so brain rotted i can’t even lie i think reo is just so easy to romanticize. pure fluff.

• | BLUE LOCK M.LIST | enjoy !! - aria 💜 | •

✮ I actually love this because i headcanon that reo would be a great dad :D at the very least he’d be extremely supportive of whatever his children wanted to do in their lives. He wouldn’t force them to follow in his footsteps like his father and he’d use whatever devices he could to ensure they can comfortably follow the path they choose.

✮ Would post about all his children’s accomplishments, or if you guys didn’t feel comfortable posting the kids he’d still take any chance to tell everyone about it - even his teammates who literally don’t care that his son got the highest score on the spelling test (they’re happy for him though). He secretly enjoys scrapbooking for his kids but they’re “your books” and he “just helps you with it sometimes”. (he’s the one who took almost all the pictures and saved every piece of paper his kid has ever drawn on)

✮ Reo is a charming husband, so charming and sweet it’s hard to be mad at him. He’s a bit lacking in cleaning/caretaking capabilities when it comes to the home but he puts in the effort??? He tries his best and if he does a bad job he always makes it up to you one way or another. In all honesty, he’s probably already hired people to do that (forgot this man is inheriting a multi millionaire dollar corporation).

✮ Reo is however very good at taking care of children. Once he has a clear grasp of their needs, he finds it to be really enjoyable and fulfilling. He takes a lot of pride in whatever happiness and comfort he can bring to his kids. He hates the sound of his babies crying, not because it’s annoying (though he complains about that too) but because it genuinely hurts his soul. He can be a bit too worrisome about it sometimes - he’s totally the type of person to look up his child’s symptoms and freak out over seeing all the worst case scenarios.

✮ The one thing that reo particularly excels at is taking care of you when you’re sick. He can always tell when you’re not feeling your best and he immediately harps on you. He doesn’t know how to cook very well but he knows how to make a few different kinds of warm foods to fill your stomach and give you a little energy. He’d absolutely refuse to stay away from you (unless it was a seriously contagious illness or if you guys had a baby that could’ve gotten sick). Doesn’t care if you’re sneezing and coughing and wheezing, he wants to feed you and hold you and kiss your hot head until it cools down and everything is better again. His goal is always to make sure you get better as soon as possible and won’t let you do anything but rest and relax until then.

✮ Reo is an incredible gift giver! I’ve certainly mentioned this in another hc post, but he is always out and about buying you little things that remind him of you. If you guys have a kid that’s just more gifts he’ll have to get and the thought of that honestly excites him.

✮ Anything can happen but…reo with a daughter…guys….

✮ he would be the sweetest girl dad! would do everything in his power to make her believe she’s an actual princess and he’s just one of her loyal servants. Spoils her rotten and doesn’t feel bad about it.

✮ You’d have to explain to him how this could negatively affect your daughter and it would break his heart. He’d go into theatrics trying to refute it because “What do you mean I can’t let her have everything she wants?” and “What if she cries? You want me to make my daughter cry?” he gets it eventually, but remains reluctant lol.

✮ He’d love playing sports with his kids. Would try to get them into soccer but if they end up liking another sport he’s still just as hype. Isn’t initially familiar with the concept of letting the kids win but soon realized he has to level with the speed of their little legs.

✮ I don’t have any specific hc’s for him as a boy dad but he’d be just as great of course - he’d make sure his son sees how women should be treated based on how he treats you!

✮ If he could find a way to make you the total world ruler he would because he truly believes you’re the most capable person. He’s the kind of husband who lets you run things for the most part but is always there to step in when you need a break or if you just want him by your side. Would call for an emergency flight back home from whatever country he’s training in just because you said you didn’t wanna go to parent teacher night alone.

✮ He loves doing mundane tasks with you, but always tries to “make it a bit more fun” as he says - which basically means he puts away the clothes you fold while you listen to him crack really bad jokes at you, gossip about his teammates, or try to sing and serenade you with his MANY playlists he’s made dedicated to you. On days you both have nothing going on he follows you around the house like a lost puppy, which is slightly annoying but it also means you have four hands to do stuff because he’s a participator above all else.

✮ Reo always makes sure to show his appreciation for how hard you work whether it’s at your job, taking care of the kids/house, or both. He takes time alone with you very seriously, even as your lives get busier and your family grows he always makes sure there’s time for the two of you to just be together and be in love. Always jokes about how you guys need to keep the romance going. He has small romantic gestures that he indulges you in throughout the day: kissing you on the cheek, brushing your hair out of your face/tying it back for you if you if you need (taking his hair tie out for you to use), hugging you a little tighter just before you get up, running a bath for the both of you, massaging your shoulders while you talk.

to be fully honest with you guys, i have never in my life wanted to have kids so it was a bit hard for me to imagine what being happy with children would be like LMAO but alas i did my best. stay safe and stay cool. - aria :3

[the-record]

kissing lessons: 1

synopsis: ellie’s a year older and the smartest girl you know. such a shame she can’t stick around.

song: kissing lessons - lucy dacus

pairing: young!ellie x young!reader

warnings: none????

a/n: this was so fun to write and pt 2 will be out, this lowkey just sets up the next part(s?) also barely proofread, im lazy

part 1, part 2, part 3, part 4

“mom, can i go meet ellie?”

“did you finish your dinner?”

you hummed, setting the dirty plate in the sink beside her. “please? i did my homework too. and fed the dog!” she stopped washing dishes and looked to you. “pretty please? with a cherry on top?”

she sighed and rinsed a plate. “alright. but you come right home when the street lights turn on. okay?” you hugged her waist and slipped on shoes before running out the door.

she was waiting for you standing on the seat of a swing. “that looks dangerous!” you called as you ran over.

she turned back, hopping down when she was it was you and sitting properly. “says who?” you rolled your eyes and set at the swing beside her. “did you see mr. anderson today?”

you giggled and nodded. “i feel bad for abby, must be kinda embarrassing to have your dad as principal.” ellie nodded in agreement, humming a tune.

“i dont like abby.” you cocked your head at her, a silent question in your eyes. “she’s such a show off in p.e. and she gets special treatment because of her dad. so unfair.”

you kicked off, sending the swing into motion. “i think she’s smart. and pretty.”

“yea…” ellie joined you, pumping her legs back and forth to get higher. “my uncle’s in town.”

“your uncle?” she nodded, looking forward at the tree line. you thought for a moment before speaking. “have you ever even met him before? what’s he like? is he like mr. miller?”

she smiled softly. “he said to stop calling him mr. miller. said it makes him feel old.”

“he is old!” you both laughed, still flying high in the air.

ellie stopped kicking, though you didnt notice, very slowly losing air. “uncle tommy is nice i guess. his wife scares me a little.” she sighed before turning to you. “i didnt see you at recess, where were you?”

your feet grazed the ground as you came to a stop. “cole asked to play tag.”

“but you hate tag,” ellie said, getting off to stand in front of you. “did you play tag with him?”

you shrugged before nodding. “my mom said i should. says he likes me.” you kicked at the ground, staring at the wood chips moving. “boys chase girls they like.”

ellie huffed and crossed her arms. “but he’s mean, he teases you. all the time!”

“boys are mean to girls they like too.”

“that makes no sense.” she flopped to the ground, arms still crossed across her chest.

you got off the swing, sitting in front of her. “what do boys like?”

“i dont know… kissing i guess.” she averted her gaze as she said it, choosing the ground to focus on.

you were taken aback. kissing? only old people did that, you thought. how do you even kiss? what if he tried to kiss you, and you didnt know how? “do you know how to?”

“what? how to kiss?” you nodded shyly, meeting her eyes. “yeah. i could teach you tomorrow, after school. joel and tommy are going out.” you nodded again. “okay. we’ll walk to my place from the bus stop then.”

the lights flickered on, signaling your time to leave. “i better get going.”

ellie nodded in agreement, getting up and holding out a hand to you. she pulled you in a hug before pushing you towards your house and walking backwards to her own. “ill see you tomorrow!”

you smiled and waved as you both ran home, butterflies fluttering.

“who is this ellie character?” your mom looked to you in the rearview mirror as she asked.

you smiled, sitting up to tell her. “my friend. she’s a year older than me, but she lives across the street. mr. millers daughter.” your mom hummed as you continued. “she’s really funny and nice. im going over to her house after school today.”

“and mr. miller doesnt mind?” she asked as she pulled into the drop off line.

“no ma’am.”

she parked and turned around, a smile on your face. “alright then. you have a good day, and please be good at the millers.” you nodded grabbing your backpack.

the day dragged as you waited for the bell to dismiss you. when it finally did, you met ellie by the bus, clambering on together.

“i found lip gloss in sarah’s room. she told me i could have it because she didnt use it anymore.” ellie smiled as she told you the plan.

“i wish i had a big sister. sarah is so cool.” you both nodded before moving on to some gossip you’d heard that day.

you entered ellies house hand in hand and she pulled you to her room. giggling as you sat the on the bed, ellie grabbed the gloss from her nightstand and sat in front of you. you tried to keep a straight face as she put it on you, and she tried to when you did the same.

“okay, now do this.” she puckered her lips as you giggled. “c’mon…” you nodded and copied her. “okay. now we lean in and… close our eyes!” you felt nervous as she sat up straight. “ready?”

you both leaned in without a second thought, your lips barely touching before you both pulled away giggling. “this is so weird.” ellie agreed with you, nodding and smiling.

“good weird.”

you ‘practiced’ a couple more times and fell beside each other on her bed.

“was that your first kiss?” you wondered aloud.

she hummed, turning to look at you. “yea. was it yours?”

“yea.”

“what do you mean you’re moving?”

you jumped up from the bed when ellie gave you her big news. how could she be moving? she couldnt leave you.

“dad says he wants to be closer to uncle tommy. apparently he and maria are… ‘in the family way’ or whatever.” she picked at her cuticles, pressing down on her thumb when it began to bleed.

you groaned and crossed your arms. “thats so unfair!”

ellie’s eyes teared up and you sat down beside her, leaning your head on her shoulder. “im gonna miss you.” you whispered. “a lot.”

“me too.”

you had to have been mistaken. ellie had moved away so long ago, there was no way she was back. there was always new people filtering in and out of your town, must’ve been one of them.

but mr. miller was harder to excuse.

“ellie, isn’t that your old friend?”

the butterflies crept back in as she turned around, her eyes locking with yours.

“damn. you grew up.”

[copperbadge]

I deal with death a lot in my job, because I work for a nonprofit that serves a population dealing with terminal illness; even with early diagnosis, which itself is rare, the average survival rate past diagnosis is about five years. I read a lot of obituaries on a weekly basis and I know when a donor passes because I'm part of the team that alters the database record to reflect when someone has died.

Usually the death is at arm's length, both because I've had practice with that and because I don't often know these people, I don't work directly with them the way doctors and fundraisers do. But we do encourage those who are able to participate in the activity of the nonprofit -- we have a program to fund support groups, we have patients and patient families on our board, and I work events and socials where they attend. So of the roughly thirty thousand people we serve, we're in close contact with perhaps five hundred, and of those I know maybe twenty personally.

This morning is the first time someone I've known personally, more than just to nod at during an event, had passed. I found out by accident; nobody has officially told us yet, but we started receiving gifts in her memory, and I get notifications of those automatically. We knew she was in hospice; I found out when confirming her death that she fortunately had access to a legal option to choose when to end her life, and she chose to do so on Wednesday night.

Dying from the disease is a fairly horrible way to die, so I'm glad she had that option and knew when it was time. She gave a lot of her time and energy to the organization and I'm glad she finally gets to rest. But fuck, it's rough to see her name in the "In Memory Of" field of the gift listings.

I wish I could say something like "Get screened!" or "Don't ignore these warning signs!" but this disease is idiopathic and incurable; there are treatments to prolong life, but when it comes for you, the clock starts. She had as much time as anyone gets post-diagnosis. She lived a life of purpose and was a kind person and that's all there is to be said, really.

[starcurtain]

A Very Rambling Rant about Alhaitham and Aranara

Sigh. Everyone on twitter is all excited over this idea that Alhaitham can see aranara, and I don't mean to be downer but like... I kind of hate this. Not the idea of Alhaitham seeing aranara, which is very cute, very nice, yes, but more the way this kind of thing unfolds.

It's a classic example of unconfirmed material, extraneous to the actual game, getting put out on social media like it's canon: Someone tweets "ALHAITHAM CAN SEE ARANARA!!" and suddenly it's running rampant in the fandom and people are completely convinced it's canonically true, without the actual game or any confirmed story-relevant materials genuinely supporting the idea. This is exactly how misinformation gets spread. (I'm looking at you, "Jade enslaved Aventurine" Star Rail fandom brainrot.)

And it's this "bandwagon canon" that leads to constant issues in the fandom when people point out that even some widely accepted stuff is actually fanon. People are literally vicious over defending things that don't actually have any evidence in the game itself.

I really wish this fandom was better at distinguishing "This thing is factually true" and "This is a really cool idea and there might be a few hints for it! I'm going to make this my headcanon!" Watching stuff in fandom go un-fact-checked genuinely makes me terrified for people's ability to fact check real world issues sometimes!

Not to mention the way this conversation is happening is just really unpleasant too?

I saw multiple tweets with thousands of likes going around saying things like "Of course Alhaitham can still see the aranara; he has child-like wonder while Kaveh is traumatized and had to grow up too fast, so it makes sense he can't see them."

Which like... This is so gross to me? Are these people just missing the massive unfortunate implications of their own words--the idea that traumatized people can't experience wonder for the world anymore? That they're somehow broken and can't experience any child-like joy??? It's a deeply unpleasant take to me.

And not only that, it directly contradicts actual canon, because Yoimiya's entire second story quest was about a girl going through a traumatic illness that confined her to a wheelchair and led to her experiencing guilt and depression--and about helping her to see that everything that made life worth living was still there for her, and that she had never lost her wonder or will to live in the first place.

And the whole thing just smacks of a fundamental misunderstanding of why adults can't see the aranara in the first place. It's not because there's some sort of magical "You must be 18 or younger to see aranara" rule. It's because the aranara themselves choose not to be seen by adults. They protect themselves by making themselves invisible. They're not invisible by nature! Everyone can see them--when the aranara want to be seen. Conversely, this means that adults with "childlike wonder" are not just automatically seeing aranara left and right. No matter how happy and childish at heart an adult is, they will only see an aranara if the aranara personally trust them and want to be seen.

The aranara trust children because children are generally good-hearted (and also probably easy to escape from), so there is usually no need to keep themselves invisible to children, but even among children, they are invisible until they choose to be seen. (I think everyone forgot the quest where you find the child who was kidnapped by the Fatui in the forest, saved by an aranara who chose to reveal itself to her, but then she refuses to go back to the village, so you leave her at the aranara nursery--only the aranara there at the nursery choose not to reveal themselves to her because they don't know her yet.) Even with children, aranara don't just go running up on them--they're incredibly cautious creatures who only show themselves after they're sure they'll be safe. They distrust adults because adults deliberately use "growing up" as an excuse to abandon simplicity, kindness, and gentleness in order to embrace concepts that include getting ahead of others and seeking profit--two things which could be particularly dangerous for a vulnerable forest fairy population.

There's also an extremely complicated intersection between the aranara and memory, as they represent and upon "death" return to being the forest's living memory itself. Avin, the girl in Yoimiya's story quest, is a child--but still loses the ability to visit her aranara companion because her illness keeps her away from the forest so long that she simply forgets her aranara buddy ever existed. Even aranara who would love to continue playing with their human companions find themselves forgotten over and over again, because they simply don't linger in human memory well. It's a giant metaphor for how fleeting and temporary human existence is in comparison to the natural world! It's a metaphorrrrrrr.

(There's also the fact that aranara freely move between reality and dreaming--something which Sumeru's adult population only recently regained the ability to even do.)

And like... does no one remember that Yoimiya could only see the aranara because Traveler was there to introduce her to them? She doesn't just automatically see them even though she has all the childish wonder possible in her heart.

I even saw tweets saying that anyone who thinks Alhaitham doesn't have child-like wonder in his heart and wouldn't automatically be able to see aranara fundamentally misunderstands his character and I just... First, see the point above--this is already a misunderstanding of how aranara work.

Second, am I just crazy, or is there absolutely nothing about having wonder and curiosity and passion for the world around you that is confined to children? Are we really going with "Having an imagination is for kids" as our takeaway from all this?

Alhaitham absolutely is passionate! He loves Sumeru as much as Nahida does! The mysteries of the world fascinate him, and he wants to be doing nothing more than ravenously learning and taking in new information at every opportunity!

But finding wonder and joy in life's mysteries is absolutely not restricted to children!

There's nothing inherently "childish" about loving fiction and the fantastical world of books, having a vivid imagination, being passionate about learning new things, and just plain out enjoying life. I'm sorry everyone else has apparently become such miserable adults that the only way they can believe Alhaitham finds joy in the world is by assuming he must have maintained a "child-like" inner nature. Please go read more books and touch more grass and maybe you too will experience adult wonder and joy???

Alhaitham's vivid curiosity about the world isn't remotely "child-like." It's based on the same sort of philosophical obsessions that drove Plato and Aristotle to redefine human thinking. To Alhaitham, Sumeru is likely much more vivid and beautiful and full of intrigue because he is now an adult who has the ability to freely think, formulate deeper questions, and the means to pursue research into his personal passions. His teaser trailer is literally about how he took the job of the Scribe because the Scribe records truth--not child-like faith in the magic of the world, but a constant unfilled yearning to get closer and closer to what is real.

If Alhaitham can see aranara, it's because he's earned the trust of the aranara by his deeds, not because he's secretly still an innocent, sweet baby boy deep down who has chosen not to grow up. (And like, if "traumatized people don't see aranara" is really what we're going with, are we actually arguing Kaveh is the only traumatized, "grew up too soon" one here? Did everyone just forget Alhaitham is an orphan with zero surviving family members left in the world and that he spent his entire childhood friendless, at least as far as we've been shown?)

Winning the trust of the aranara is something anyone could do if they show strong enough positive traits--just basic kindness, gentleness, and patience, which I promise you, adults can have.

At the very least, if we're going to suggest Alhaitham is child-like, can't we at least point to his actual childish behaviors, such as constantly pulling Kaveh's pigtails like a schoolboy with his first crush? Throwing hands with anyone who pisses him off too much? Being a jokester who continually sends Paimon books because she picked on him for his choice of reading materials once? At least y'all could have started there... Come on, now.

Phew, this really was a whole rant, but I just needed to get that off my chest. The Hoyo fandoms on twitter are so, so bad. Like man, don't claim people are mischaracterizing someone while not even knowing the lore yourself... Sorry if that sounds harsh, but...

[sepublic]

Alright, let's talk about some details from the TOH pitch bible;

A lot of the stuff is what we've already seen and/or in line with the show. What's interesting is that King WAS a former King of Demons at one point, and we would've had an episode where he runs into his old gang and chooses Luz and Eda over them. It makes me wonder if he even had a connection to the Titan in earlier drafts, if he wasn't recognized as one back in the day because he just wasn't big enough, etc. Eda makes a deal to help remove the collar, which IS the source of King's woes, placed by a 'mysterious wizard', I wouldn't be surprised if it was Obron AKA Proto-Belos.

What gets me is that Tibbles originally started off as a friend to the protagonists, while Bump was an antagonist! Coupled with Tibbles being re-elected as mayor after Bump is deposed for corruption. I like the detail of Bump being a parasite controlling a body from the head, because it carried over into his final design with Frewin, and before we got confirmation Frewin was a separate entity, I loved the joke theory that the imp on Bump's head was the REAL Bump!!! Seems that was always the implied story of the design, I love it. Tibbles being the demon fan of human stuff would eventually become Gus instead, so this is technically Proto-Gus too…?

Interesting how Bump and Tibbles' alignments switch completely with one another, and it makes sense that with Lilith no longer the principal in the final draft, it goes to Bump, who ends up being really chill and a subversion in his own right! Interesting, but I do prefer the final Bump we got, and that's fine by me, because when the concepts aren't as interesting as the final product, it means we got the best possible version.

I've already discussed Obron and William in a separate post, and Pupa is someone we've been told about in a previous livestream. Lilith would've been both head of all covens (and not just the Emperor's Coven) AND principal at the same time, and she seems much more of a jerk to Eda in general; She has no qualms with cursing Eda because of a direct order from Obron.

Apparently the curse would've been an AGING spell, which settles my questions on how it would've been portrayed in earlier drafts! This goes along with Eda's older look. Likewise, there would've been a subplot of Eda considering Luz's sacrifice as a way to restore her youth, which likely goes hand in hand with Obron's orders to bring Luz to her, etc. The 'Bloom of Eternal Youth' quest, which Eda and Lilith go through together as their sisterly relationship is explored, feels like a carryover from this past idea.

I think I prefer the final draft; I like that the curse isn't just aging Eda, but also takes away her magic, makes her turn into a beast, etc. I like Lilith being a lot more complicated in her relationship with Eda, instead of just hating her and cursing her without hesitation. The redefining of the curse makes it less about age, and more a chronic illness metaphor, and I like how Eda in the final draft is upfront about having to learn to live with it, deal with it, on her own terms. She isn't trying to find a cure (although Lilith being promised one by Obron feels like a carryover of Eda's moral dilemma with Luz), and that adds another nice dimension to her conflict with Lilith, as well as Gwen. It's pretty frank in its own right about normalizing disability, and those who play an antagonistic role (however brief) are the real weirdoes for making such a fuss about it.

The Bat Queen would've had more of a recurring role based on the description, which saddens me; I always got the vibe she was planned for more, but between all of the other stuff the show had to juggle, plus the shortening, she ended up getting shafted despite being one of the earlier characters. Sashley, Pasha, and Bruno are also interesting, with Pasha in particular giving me freaking Philip Wittebane vibes with his grossness, beard, and anti-demon attitude; He even starts off as a potential friend to Luz because fellow human, only for his true bigotry to show. Makes me wonder if Philip ended up incorporating Pasha, we also have bodily transformation because of consuming magical stuff... P-names.

(Also, I like how in the drawing of typical Demon Realm denizens, I can see an eye demon who resembles a past drawing of Dana's!!!)

Eda was actually a late bloomer, which creates a parallel with Luz in one way, and their relationship is referred to as sisterly (in the final draft it’s explicitly maternal). So Eda wouldn't have been the talented youth, in fact things may have switched between her and Lilith; Lilith's disdain may have partially come from Eda not being as innately talented as her.

Luz and Amity's dynamic seems like it would've had Amity retain a lot of her more stand-offish, pragmatic personality even as a friend with Luz, and this would've come up more; So basically, she'd remain more like S1 Amity. That, or this part of their relationship would've lasted longer, and then we would've seen character development as Amity unlearns a lot of the issues her parents passed on. I also wonder if the Willow who cameos in the pilot was originally supposed to just be an extra separate from ‘Paulina’, but then they combined the two together.

The themes are exactly as I expected, glad to see they're still there, nothing changed! Luz becoming a witch and defying all odds to do so, putting in real work and passion. Celebrating individuality amidst conformity, plus Luz trying to impose her own fictional tropes onto the world, only to have to put that aside... Just like Wing it like Witches. It seems Amity would've had more involvement with Luz's journey to become a witch, though we still do have a carryover of that disconnect with her rant near the end of Covention.

I love the Demon Realm being situated BELOW the Human Realm, way to be subtle about being Hell you guys lol... Apparently portals to the human world are a lot rarer to find and use, which makes me wonder if the pilot's 'dimension port' doesn't have access to the human world; Meaning Amity is Luz's only way back, so her improved relationship with her is linked to getting back home. There's a gag about the Knee having service with the human world, but I can see how that didn't make the cut, for dramatic purposes; It seems like the premise for a S1 episode or at least a B-plot. Would Luz have struggled to communicate with Camila through this, or would her search for wi-fi be for mundane reasons?

Apparently Luz's magic would've required a lot more steps to complete, and I see why the show simplified things down to just glyphs. I wonder if there was always going to be the connection of glyphs as a gift from the Titan, or if the Titan and her story was going to be less intertwined in the overall narrative. There also don't seem to be nine main covens, just the many, many covens, some of which are pretty ridiculous, and Covention's sub-covens seem a callback to that.

Luz's first spell would've been levitation, and THEN she would've infiltrated Hexside, with Amity being a lot subtler about exposing Luz, though in the final draft she does figure that out as the way to go in I was a Teenage Abomination. Yeah, I prefer Light being her original spell, feels so much more symbolic and personal, etc. I wonder if the Titan is even as much of a character in early drafts, and if there's still the whole connection/relationship with the land and learning to respect it aspect. Some of these hypothetical episodes push the idea of Amity as a more episodic, typical popular kid antagonist, though in the final draft, the show goes through her character development and explores Amity's romantic relationship with Luz and its complications.

It seems the idea of the Mirror Ghost was split into Adegast and Vee, with Adegast being the one who offers the easier narrative for Luz to believe in about becoming a witch (only to be a fraud who uses uncanny puppets), and Vee being a doppelganger whom Luz communicates through with mirrors. Interesting how Yesterday's Lie was born from this. We saw the test animation from Spencer Wan for TOH, so I guess we know what Luz's puppet-doppelganger is called! And we can safely call her Proto-Vee. I wonder if she also would've been a sympathetic character, I always thought she reminded me of Lake from Infinity Train (and speculated her to be as such since Enchanting Grom Fright), and now the similarities are even MORE apparent!

Alas, The Good Witch Azura, or 'The Unassuming Princess' seems like it'd have been a lot less dear to Luz's heart, as the pilot also reflects; In the end, it turns out the author is just Eda's ex using her adventures as basis, and including private information. I remember when I once speculated that Raine, before we saw their face, would've been just like this as the author of Azura... Again, I think I prefer Azura as being a lot less mean-spirited in the final draft, and instead a celebration of who Luz is as a person, her relationship with fantasy and fiction, etc. We also would've had a Luz birthday party, the Quincenera we've been hoping for since S1...! In the final draft (and episode) we still get that Human-Demon Realm disconnect, though by that point, Luz is much more attuned and chill with the isles.

There’s definitely more of an episodic, sitcom feel to this pitch bible, especially when you compare Proto-Yesterday’s Lie to its final version. Makes sense, Dana is pitching this to Disney executives, though her statement on Understanding Willow feeling truly like her show makes me wonder if she always intended to push TOH in that more serious, emotional route we got.

[shakethediseeas]

haihaii can i request alien stage x crossdresser male reader please? 🫶🏻

ALIEN STAGE WITH A CROSSDRESSER, feminine M! READER

MEssy! half bullets half bs i did more of a feminine male reader instead of a corssdresser if you don't like it just tell me ill re do it ;;;;

Whispers are common when you arrive. It's the fact that you're so pretty that leaves everyone speechless. You've always had some sort of feminine charm that made you the top hit, and you live for it.

MIZI

She was a bit surprised when she heard your deep voice when she first introduced herself. Thinking you were a pretty girl, she runs to you with compliments about your hair and outfit, and you look at her with big eyes before saying:

"oh.. thank you..!"

It's a huge shock, but somehow, that made you more beautiful to her, and so she'd double down on the compliment. Even better!! As she says.

She instantly marks you as her bestfriend. She loves making crafts with you or letting you choose how to style her hair when she couldn't decide.

"Hair up or down? what do you think? Maybe we could match!"

As you get older, your options of clothes become unlimited, so you get to perform or take photos in your beautiful dresses or skirts, and Mizi has stars in her eyes whenever you show her your new look.

10/10 she loves your style very much.

No one really judged you for it either because you were so charming, but if anyone ever picked a fight with you, she'd defend you 100%!

She loves it when you paint each other's nails or match outfits. She brags about it to everyone with a huge smile on her face.

Is super comfortable with you. She's not super touchy, but hand-holding and tackles are common.

10/10

TILL

He's flustered while saying hello (he's nervous around pretty girls), and you reply with a sup. He yells and goes, "WHAT THE HELL!?" Angry at himself for blushing over a boy.

He treats you normally like he does with Ivan, but sometimes, when you laugh or show him your new dress, he gets extremely embarrassed about how nice you look.

He'll never admit that you look pretty, though, he'll say something dumb like put some pants on or smt (he's a stupid kid).

You cling to him a lot to get an angry reaction from him, you find it cute.

When you're older you always invite him to photoshoots just to tease him or brag about your new outfits and he pretends to be angry but secretly your charms have kind of grown on him so he just huffs and looks the other way while you poke him.

7/10 I think he's got internalized homophobia so he's like trying to deny any sort of attraction towards you.

You force him to paint your nails or make him tie your pretty little shoes and he gets all mad.

Sometimes, RARELY he'll let you add some makeup on his face.

If anyone ever said anything to you, which was common because you hung around with a problematic boy, he might beat the hell out of them, and you tease him about it.

"aww!! you love me don't you! my hero! mwah!"

"get away from me, freak!!"

LUKA

When Hyuna introduced you two, he stared at you entranced, drooling, as always, before nodding and looking away. You swore you heard him mumble 'pretty' but he denied it constantly.

You always ask him what to wear or how to style your hair, and he just looks at you "..." before falling to his side. So you pick the dress that was on the side he fell on.

You held him around like a teddy bear, laughing at a joke you said or you'd talk about curling your hair more.

Suddenly, one day, he got the nerve to provoke you, and so you punched him and walked away, never talking to him again.

That is, until you are older. His personality isn't what you remember, and now he talks about how pretty you've always been and suggests clothes you should wear.

He always finds a way to arrange hang outs with you and he'd put lipstick on you, do your hair and pick your clothes and it pissed you off.

5/10 its a 50/50, sometimes you enjoy hanging out with him and other times times it feels like he's treating you like a dress up doll.

if he doesn't care for you, he'd poke fun of you for dressing like female but if he does care he'll tell you you're the prettiest boy around.

he wont ever let you paint his face unless you catch him while he's sleeping.

sometimes its a 8/10 because you like getting an actual reaction out of it with doing something he doesn't like.

IVAN

He observes you from afar, trying to figure out how to talk to you. Fortunately, Mizi introduced you two, and he greeted you with a smile.

"ah.. hi!" with a head tilt and a smile you wave at him, playing with the hem of your skirt.

He doesn't seem fazed at all by your appearance, in fact, it makes you more appealing to him (similar to Mizi except he shows no shock)

He's kind of clingy. Whenever you and Mizi are having a girl talk, he shows up and tries to squeeze in, and you two just glare at him.

He LOVES when you ask him what you should wear, even if his choices are the worst you still pick them with a huge smile and nod whilst secretly you're withering on the inside.

He doesn't mind if you paint his face or nails; he then shows them off to Mizi in a smug way because you only paint his nails.

As you grow older, expect MANY features with him, many many. You're his favorite person to do photoshoots or interviews with because he gets to hang out with you, and you pick his outfit so you match.

8/10, -1 because he's with you all the time trying to understand clothes and its a headache.

Not afraid to hurt someone who will say something to you and hold a huge grudge.

over all, isn't really fazed with your style of clothes but he does tease you a tiny tiny bit unintentionally

is the easiest to convince if you want him to wear a dress or anything you own.

dont shit on me plsess im nuob

[ukiyowi]

𝐀𝐒𝐓𝐑𝐎 𝐍𝐎𝐓𝐄𝐒 𝐈

Note: These are my observations if it doesn't resonate scroll xx

Masterlist || Tip 🍯

𐂲 I've recently noticed, whatever sign your mars is in and whichever body part that sign rules, can often result in getting accidentally hurt or random in that part. (Example, Mars in gemini = getting hurt on arms/hands, in Capricorn = scalp/knees/teeth, in Aries = head/sometimes cheekbones, etc)

𐂲 One thing I've noticed about Virgo risings is how much they underestimate themselves, they also usually have trouble with anxiety and overthinking

𐂲 Mystic rectangles give a lot of balance to a person but it can also come with multiple internal hardships and conflicts (in forms of insomnia or mental illnesses) and they often need external help to reach their full potential

𐂲 Pluto - Neptune hard aspects especially squares bring into consideration the back and forth between transformation versus illusion, what I mean by that is they have trouble distinguishing patterns in their cycles and may think they're imagining changes rather than believing that it's real (I hope this makes sense I've been trying to word it for the past 5 mins)

𐂲 I know we talk a lot about Leo Risings having great hair but imo Pisces rising have such luscious hair, like they have sm volume and shine to them?? They also look like a waterfall, just flowing, it's so pretty <//3

𐂲 Saturn in 4th/5th/11th house can overshare on the internet about everything going on with their lives

𐂲 Pluto in 6th house feel powerful only when they're working, so they never stop and even when they feel burnt out, they feel their sense of self and self worth is only tied to what they can give, therefore they may face guilt when they try to rest.

𐂲 This is simply a personal observation/theory but I have noticed that people who have a lot of degrees that are higher in number like 20+ often feel more comfortable with people older than them especially if those degrees sit in Pluto or Saturn

𐂲 I've noticed Aries mercuries also have very heavy footsteps, you can hear the thump 😭

𐂲 12th house Pluto are their own best friend and worst enemy, they may enable bad habits for others and justify the same for themselves, HOWEVER once the natives know how to harness the power of Pluto and understand it better, they can be really influential because a lot of people may be subconsciously attracted to the power they possess.

𐂲 Can we talk about Leo risings and how good their self concept is? Like... Please teach me tysm

𐂲 LIBRA PLACEMENTS IN GENERAL HAVE SUCH A HARD TIME WITH HEALTHY BOUNDARIES I'LL CRY- I have a friend with Libra venus and she can never say no to someone especially if she starts liking them :// and it's so hard to see ppl just take advantage of her, I also have friends and relatives with Libra in the big 3 and not only are they complete givers, they also have such a hard time taking, they feel guilty.

✓✓✓ Going to be mean to some of my placements/aspects now

𐂲 Venus conjunct Mars are so fucking clingy but ALSO so flighty🤨🤨choose ??? Do you want to be in this relationship (platonic/romantic) or do you not, stop being so hot and cold (it may help if I tell you both of these are in gemini for me)

𐂲 Chiron - moon placements have mommy issues or wounds related to their mothers/maternal figures in their lives

𐂲 Jupiter virgos can be such doormats at times, just because you want to help people doesn't mean you keep emptying your cup to fill others'.

𐂲 Mercury in 1st have their self worth TIED to their intelligence, like stop flaunting your knowledge, low-key looks insecure.

𐂲 Jupiter opposition Uranus has such rebel without a cause energy, what are you going to "rebel" against now, please sit down for a second

𐂲 Mars Square Ascendant, people with this aspect are always ready to fight, feel like everything is a personal attack, and are terrible at being alone

✓✓✓ Back to your regularly scheduled programme

𐂲 Something I've wanted to say to each stellium I've met so far:

𐂲 Aries: You have a lot of life in you, hand some over🤲🤲🤲, seriously though you guys look at everything with such wonder and curiosity, you're also kinda impatient but that's fine with me :")

𐂲 Sagittarius: You're so cool, I want to be like you, introspective, self aware, your humour is a little concerning at times but you teach me so much all the time, you're the guide I've always wished for

𐂲 Leo: You're a born entertainer and at times I can be a bit envious because of how bright you shine, leaving me in the shadows, but I love you and your love for life regardless, you're a star

𐂲 Gemini: You are so stealthy in everything you do, sometimes you slip through the cracks, a trickster (affectionate), I love how you can be mischievous one second and completely serious the next

𐂲 2nd house: You're just so understanding and make me feel like home, it's like you are home personified, very warm and comforting, also so abundant in everything it's crazy

𐂲 8th house: Stop making me talk about my feelings I'll cry >:(( no but seriously, you guys have something about you that just makes people face what they're avoiding, and you are so good at empathising with them.

[rosenotactuallyquartz]

“don’t break this one”

sensitive subject matter, as this is a very sad headcanon, although it has warm pearlrose content of course. details about rose’s death & abuse trauma. i’ll compensate with some fluff tomorrow.

throughout her pregnancy, rose was weakening. pearl took care of her constantly, all the time. however, in the last few days, just before her gem became steven's, rose’s energy was almost gone & she was in unimaginable pain. it felt worse than having a crack, it was as if she was being pulled away from her own gem. and really, she was. feeling so ill made her very irrational & “out of it,” her mind clouded with anxiety & old memories.

one memory haunted her more than any other. it was the time when she unintentionally hurt a pearl on homeworld, one who she wanted to be best friends with, just because she had been standing too close when she screamed. rose never forgave herself for that.

her abuser’s voice always taunted her at the back of her mind. “please stop helping them, you’ll only make things worse. that’s what you do.” “you’ll never change.” “you’re deceiving yourself.” “i’m always right.”

she took the pearl away so quickly after that incident. rose never got to apologize & white used it as evidence that she destroyed everything she touched. still, she found herself face to face with a new pearl. well not just a pearl. she couldn’t have known she was meeting the love of her life.

and in that moment, white smirked and said:

“don’t break this one.”

she never did. ultimately, they escaped from that terrible environment & they became individuals. they fell in love as individuals. they weren’t a pearl & a diamond anymore, they were two people who could choose to love each other and live together. pearl grew in a way that rose admired, but white’s voice always haunted rose & she never saw growth in herself.

on the night of steven’s birth, pearl & greg prepared to be in the room with rose.

rose, in more pain than she'd ever felt, not even when she was poofed, feared that anything could happen. she knew she would scream during steven's birth & had a deep, almost irrational fear that her screams could hurt pearl, like they hurt volleyball.

without being able to give much reason, she only let greg into the room with her.

pearl was confused & she almost seemed angry, but she didn’t want to start an argument in rose’s last moments. so, she gave her a sad smile & said, “are you sure you don’t want me in there?”

rose simply kissed pearl, interlaced their fingers one last time, and whispered,

“i’m sorry. just trust me, my pearl. you’re everything to me, i love you.”

this is part of the reason why pearl is so confused about rose's death. there was not much closure because it required a longer story and for once, pearl + rose had limited time.

for awhile, pearl is convinced that even if rose loved her, she must have loved someone else more. she chose greg to be in the room with her at the time of her death. so unusual & odd & too quick to process, as the past four years had been. pearl was always by rose’s side at every moment, especially the most vulnerable ones. heck, she knew secrets no one else knew about!

as time goes on, she slowly learns just how much rose was in love with her. rose made me feel like i was everything, both of you, you swept her off her feet. still, there are a few things she struggles to understand.

one day, she meets volleyball. she learns about pink’s screams, her destructive powers. “i just so happened to be standing close by.”

when pearl is alone later on, she remembers the night of rose’s death. hearing rose’s cries of pain from afar.

she also remembers how careful pink was with her when they first met. she seemed almost scared of pearl.

she wasn’t. she was scared of herself.

the next day, pearl asks greg about her death. he says that she did seem worried about him; he couldn’t be too close to her and she was very concentrated on her surroundings. logically, pearl knows that humans are different. they don’t crack or shatter. their injuries are softer, flesh & bone, not fragile light. so, she’d be less worried about him. he also confirms that no, the walls didn’t crack & nothing visibly broke when she gave up her form.

but greg mentions something else: in her very seconds, rose covered her face & cried. it wasn’t from physical pain, he says, but something else. it seemed like regret. by that point, she could no longer speak. he never brought it up before because he never understood it—and because, in truth, he didn’t want to remember it.

now, it makes sense.

in those final moments, rose didn’t keep pearl out of the room because she was choosing someone over her.

she was trying to protect her.

even as she was dying, she was worried about pearl. and when she cried, maybe it was because she realized white was wrong—she wouldn’t break her, pearl would have been okay.

rose loved & trusted pearl deeply and she was so afraid of pearl questioning this, all because rose couldn’t love & trust herself.

that night, pearl takes rose’s favourite blanket and wraps herself in it, embraced by rose’s comfort. it still smells like her.

she whispers softly,

“it’s okay, sweetheart. i understand now. and i love you, too. i always will.”

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

AITA for not saying please/thank you?

So this is an ongoing argument with my roommate. I (22nb) am autistic, and T (55f) has ADHD.

Now to get this out of the way, i do say thank you. I was always taught to wait a moment after receiving something, take a bite or appreciate what you were given for a breath, before thanking someone so that you could add something more to it. My roommate and I both agree that i do say thank you the vast majority of the time, but the problem for her is that i do not say it fast enough.

T often gives me a "tHaNk yOu" while the item in question is still being passed. This seems ridiculous to me as i haven't even been fully given it yet.

In addition, i have the dishes as my household chore, and i do them daily, despite almost never making any dishes myself. I do this to both support T and her diet, as well as contribute to the household that i live in.

T thanks me near daily for doing the dishes. This always seems weird and unnecessary to me, as it is my responsibility. I have told her this. I dont expect to be thanked for doing my own laundry, after all. In return, T gets upset that i dont notice and thank her for taking out the garbage/recycling/compost, to which she is the main contributor to and is under her responsibilities.

As for please: i do say this much more rarely. I think it feels overly preformative and fake, and i typical choose more "would you mind closing my door for me" "if its not too much of a hassle, could you toss me my waterbottle" "id appreciate it if you could preheat the oven while you're in the kitchen"

I think that these work perfectly fine as a replacement. Please just has always felt wrong and fake. No one else in my entire life has ever commented on this before.

Thirdly; T has been upset that i don't respond to her apologies appropriately. After she is snappy at me (due to her emotional disregulation from ADHD) (last time it was because i asked if she was using the oven instead of asking if i could use the oven myself, for reference) there is a 50/50 shot that she will come and apologize.

I dont often accept apologies. Apologies are for the person saying them to get it off their chests, or to make you put it behind them. Usually, ill say something like "it was just one of those days, y'know?" Or "its alright, water under the bridge"

Because i was always taught that apologies came with a promise of change, and T can't (or won't) change how she re-directs her frustration at unrelated things to things ive done "wrong". When she told me the correct response was "i forgive you", i decided to not engage instead of telling her directly that i didnt forgive her (because i am certain she will do it again). (I usually dont engage with her when shes irritated: she never notices and just wants to say her piece so im not being rude here)

She said that i was being disrespectful, "like always", and when i suggested it may be more difficult for me due to my autism, she said that we made plenty of accommodations for me (which i think is false), and that i just needed to do this for her comfort. That please/thank yous were something she needed to feel appreciated and i should be making more accommodations for her.

To me, i feel like she is getting really caught up on semantics and is being a little controlling about it. But maybe its just a boundary? I dont know if i could commit to changing my language for her though, i feel like i will just start forgetting after awhile because it feels so fake. Shouldn't it be better for me to say things genuinely than just for her approval?

AITA for not saying please/thank you?

[sanjoongie]

𝔚𝔥𝔢𝔫 𝔗𝔥𝔢 𝔖𝔢𝔞 𝔞𝔫𝔡 𝔱𝔥𝔢 𝔐𝔬𝔲𝔫𝔱𝔞𝔦𝔫 𝔐𝔢𝔱

@pirateeznet 's Secret Admirer event

🏔For @staytinyville, i hope you enjoy this, i had fun weaving this tale for you 💞 sorry it was late once again

🌊Pairing: Njord! Prince! Jeong Yunho x Skaldi! Princess! Reader (f)

🏔Genre: smut, angst (happy ending), fluff

🌊Au: Norse mythology au, njord and skaldi au, mythology retelling au, royal au, medieval au, historical au

🏔Trope: strangers to lovers, opposites attract

🌊Warnings: mentions of parent's death, mentions of someone falling deathly ill, hand kink HELLO, fingering (f), wall sex, penetrative sex with no barrier, nipple play, big dick! yunho

🏔Word count: 5,178

🌊Beta's:

🏔Summary: upon your father's murder, a council allows you to choose a husband as recompense--based on what his hands look like. Yunho, a prince of the sea, and you, a princess of the mountains, are as opposite as you can get, so can you make the marriage work?

🌊Author's Note: the story of Skaldi, a giantess and goddess of the mountain and her husband, Njord, God of the Sea, intrigued me enough to want to try a re-telling. I changed the feet to hands, in choosing a husband, and who is better to use that than mofo jeong yunho

Once upon a time, when the world was young, a woman experienced a father's death and was repaid with a choice of her husband.

"But you must choose by his hands."

The woman chose hands that were callused, for surely a strong husband would come from those hands.

Instead, she chose the man who couldn't be more than the opposite of her. This is a retelling of their story.

You stared intently at the set of hands in front of you. Each owner of said hands were behind a heavy curtain so that you could not pick your future husband based on his appearance but based solely on his hands. 

You were hoping for San, if truth be told. You wanted the happy prince who was also known to throw himself into work with his fellow peasants. You wanted to add his giggles to your empty castle, now with your father gone. 

There was one set of hands that continued to draw you back. They were long and lovely but also they had calluses; they had seen hard work. Surely they belonged to San? Without another thought, you pointed to the hands you had been admiring and hoped for the best.

The curtain parted and… instead of San’s pleased smile that he had been chosen, you were met with the wide eyes of Yunho’s. The two of you stared at each other, unable to comprehend that you were to be wed to the prince who lived by the sea, the complete opposite to your mountainous upbringing. 

“Wait--!”

"No, princess, this is your choice,” The counselor preceding over your choice proclaimed. “The death of your father is repaid. You have a husband now.”

You and Yunho were ushered into an antechamber to sign the papers and a small ceremony made it official. It was clear everyone wanted you out of here before you demanded even more over the death of your father. 

“First, you should live in the domain of your husband,” The priest informed you. “You need to understand who he is before you take him to your home.”

The plan was to spend ten days at Yunho's place by the sea and you were already not looking forward to it. The sea was not your favorite place. And once you arrived, it really just confirmed how you felt. 

Except now there was Yunho.

Yunho was a shy prince. He dined with you in the morning, offering options of how you could spend the hours of your day. The walk along the shore was hardly what you would consider romantic. You struggled under the shifting sands, always managing to carry some home with you. The squawking of the seabirds always interrupted your questions towards Yunho in order to learn more about your new husband and his home. You couldn't even appreciate some of the cliffs by the sea, the closest thing to home for you, because of the bashing of the cursed waves against the walls of stone. You were starting to think the gods were playing with you; that they still wanted you to suffer. 

“Princess?” Yunho brought you back to reality.

You had picnic-ed in the dunes beside the sea with a sturdy blanket and practically everything weighed down so that the hefty winds didn’t blow away anything you planned on dining on or with. 

“Apologies, Yunho, what did you say?” You wondered, sipping the strawberry rhubarb wine.

“There’s a story that they tell of how the first king was found. It was said that he would never become king. The prophecy said that when the fishermen of the area would find a diamond in the sands, then their king would finally be found.”

You scoffed at the fanciful tale. “Sounds like no one wanted a king to be found.”

Yunho laughed. “One would think. But truly, what the purpose of the story is, is that kings can be found but the right king, a good one for the people and for the kingdom, is like a diamond in the sand.”

You thoughtfully ate a tiny sandwich--emphasis on the sand part of the sandwich--and attempted to not wince at the grit in your mouth. “So a good king was found?”

Yunho shrugged, blinking furiously when wind blew hair in front of his face. His hands attempted to push it back and you were momentarily distracted. Those hands had been your downfall. “Oh, we had kings alright, but no one has truly found the diamond in the sand.”

Yunho had yet to touch you with those hands. You hadn't consummated your marriage but you were sure that had more to do with this poorly-worded trial period than anything else. Ten days to learn about your husband and ten days for him to learn of you in your realm. The marriage wasn’t made for two romantic fools, it was a settlement on reparations done to you. The lost of your father still panged in the depths of your heart but Yunho’s ‘love’ hadn't done anything to settle the lose, truly. Perhaps your heart wasn’t truly into it. Perhaps--

Yunho sighed and began to pack up. He was used to you losing yourself in your thoughts. “Back to the castle then? I’m sure your handmaiden could prepare a cool room for you.”

Ah, the disappointment coating your husband’s words. “Yunho, I--”

Yunho shook his head. “Do not worry about it, Princess. You head back. I’ll clean this up.” Yunho held out your parasol with a face that didn’t speak of his disappointment at all. 

The two of you spoke the same language but it always seemed like you never understood each other. Yunho was patient and you attempted to show interest in his world but you compared everything; it couldn't be helped.

Yunho’s world was too windy, too warm, too loud, too much. You were used to solitude, you were used to your halls in the mountains. This world Yunho loved so much was too much for you. You often found yourself pulling back to the comfort of your tower that Yunho had declared was yours. He thought the height would help you remind you of home and it did, but in the worst ways. You simply pinned for home that much more.

Before you knew it, the final night in Yunho’s home was upon you. You wanted to go home so badly but you didn’t want to lay it on Yunho. So you smiled politely as he brought you through the town around the castle, a bustling morning market that had you avoiding the touch of the crowd so much that Yunho knew he had failed you once again.

“Princess?” Yunho offered his hand to you. He had one final plan to enact. 

You cautiously gave Yunho your hand and he protectively pulled you into an enclave away from the crowds. Yunho’s height allowed him to tower over you. Suddenly you were very, very close to your husband but he didn’t let go of your hand. 

Yunho sent a hopeful smile your way and you felt a jolt in your chest. What the hell was that? “If you will allow me one more excursion tonight? I promise, I have one final surprise that I would like to share with you. It is my favorite. I left the best for last.”

You bowed your head. “Of course, husband,” you agreed.

The day dragged by. The food that had been hand chosen by you and Yunho had been cooked for a midday meal and Yunho showed you bright gardens cultivated behind the walls of the castle. You smiled and listened politely but you couldn't help but think of what kind of surprise Yunho had been hiding you all this time. Why not surprise you the first night to impress you? Your husband was still a mystery to you, it seemed.

The sun set and you waited in your rooms for your husband to retrieve you. And you waited. And waited. Then you began to pace. Was this waiting on purpose? Was he looking to vex you? After hours passed, you were about to rip the hinges off your door and storm the castle looking for your husband before he politely knocked on your door. You smoothed your hair back, picking something off the skirt of your dress and let your handmaiden know your husband could enter.

Yunho’s eyes sparkled with excitement. “You will need those hiking boots of yours, Princess, and a change of clothes. This is not a dress excursion.”

Yunho led you to the sea and you were beginning to think that your husband truly didn’t understand you. He was simply taking you to every place in his kingdom and expecting you to love it. You weren’t sure if this was going to work, if at all. You couldn't simply throw away what was given to you. It somehow belittled your father’s death. But could you take a lifetime of this?

With a hand raised with a lantern, and your hand in his other, Yunho led you inside of a cliffside cave. For a while, there was only the soft sound of the water dripping down stalactites and the squeak of the lantern on its handle. Yunho didn’t feel the need to fill the air with conversation and you were stewing in your thoughts, if you were being honest.

But when the tunnel through the cave opened up into a larger room, your jaw couldn't help but fall to the floor. Inside was a pool of calm water that almost perfectly reflected the night sky through an opening in the roof. You could see the moon, the constellations your father had taught you, even some fluffy clouds as they floated across the night’s sky. It was beautiful.

“They say this place used to be the home to mermaids. One of my great grandfather’s married one apparently. This place has been kept sacred ever since.” Yunho’s eyes had been raised to the sky but then he lowered them to yours. “Do you like it?”

You opened your mouth but found that you had no words. At least, you had none of the easy words that had been tearing down Yunho and his home piece by piece. “It’s lovely,” You managed.

Yunho allowed himself to smile hesitantly. “Do you know the story about the god who froze their toe and it became a constellation in the sky?”

You moved towards the pool and sat at the edge of it. You were completely comfortable looking at the sky through the portal of the water. “That one always made me laugh as a child. Now I shudder at freezing a toe and breaking it off.”

Yunho sat beside you, dimming the lantern so you two could see the sky’s reflection clearly. “Ah, I suppose that’s a worry from where you’re from.”

You nodded, pushing some hair out of your face. “Yunho…”

Yunho shook his head. “I know we leave for your home tomorrow.”

Yunho’s soft world was not like yours at all. You worried for him. “I don’t expect to find it beautiful,” You admitted.

Yunho smiled somewhat bittersweetly. “Like you didn’t find mine?”

You sighed. “Your world is too much. Too much sun, too much noise, it’s not what I’m used to.”

Yunho's hand beside yours twitched. His pinky moved but his hand did not. “I tried. I shared with you everything I love. I wanted you to be happy, if that means anything.”

“It’s not your fault, Yunho,” You allowed. “I did pick you, after all.”

“You didn’t want me though,” Yunho said.

“You didn’t want me to pick you!” You retorted with a laugh.

Yunho half-laughed with you. “Well, I didn’t expect you to pick me, that’s for sure.”

You cocked your head. Your hand moved a little closer to his. “You’re the one with the pretty hands that are also callused. It’s your fault really.”

Yunho chuckled. His hand moved until both your pinkies were touching. “I still work the fishing boats every Manadagr morning.” He looked at you through the corner of his eye. “And what do you mean my hands are pretty?”

You winced. You had not meant for that to slip. “You know…” you let the uncertain air hang between you two.

Yunho nudged you with his shoulder. “No, I really don’t.”

You sighed again but picked up one of his hands. You played with his lithe fingers, feeling birds thrash against your ribcage. “They’re hard working hands but they’re pretty. I want…” If only your father could see you now, your courage failing you simply because your heart was betraying you right now.

Yunho grasped both of your hands between his. “You want?” He prompted you.

You swallowed hard, not sure if you had it in yourself to tell your husband you lusted after his hands. “Yunho, I--”

“We haven’t kissed since we became husband and wife,” Yunho blurted out. His eyes widened at his own words and then you watched as redness crept up his ears.

That was the second time you were speechless tonight. 

Yunho let go of your hands, dropping them like they were hurting him, and mumbled about going back now.

“Yunho, wait!” You stood up to stop him.

“I’m sorry you don’t feel the same way, but I really like you!” Yunho blurted out again. “I’ve planned all these outings and every time I only seemed to annoy you or let you down. I’ve felt your bad mood darken and develop like a storm in the middle of the sea get worse as it came closer to the coast. I won’t apologize for trying to woo you but I want you to love me!”

It was as if an arrow from Ullr hit your heart. So instead of speaking, since you were failing in that regard, you let your body speak for you. You wrapped your arms around Yunho’s neck, pulled him down and you kissed him. You didn’t kiss him with passion and lust but rather with a need to tell him that he had been enough. 

Yunho looked so confused when you released him that you had to giggle. If you had thought his ears were red before, they now appeared as hot as iron in the forge. “Your ears get red when you’re embarrassed, Husband. Do my kisses embarrass you?”

Yunho’s eyes avoided yours but a smile he couldn't fight was pulling at the corners of his lips. “Your kisses do not embarrass me.”

“No?” You teased, leaning to the side to capture his gaze.

Suddenly, Yunho went from an embarrassed man to a dangerous one. His eyes were dark. “No.”

You raised your chin defiantly. “Then prove me wrong.”

Yunho cupped your head between his beautiful hands and then kissed you. His kiss was different. It was soft but it was deep. His tongue sought out yours and you met him halfway. His kiss pulled the lust that was bubbling deep in your womb. You pushed onto your toes again, meeting his kisses with lust of your own and Yunho moaned into your mouth. 

His hands steadied your hips and he broke the kiss. With his forehead pressed to yours, he panted against your lips. “Will you let me make you mine?”

“Only if you’ll let me claim you,” You countered.

Yunho’s eyes traveled over your face. You didn’t know what he was looking for but whatever he found there, it seemed to satisfy him. “I didn’t mean to lure you here to seduce you,” He admitted, as if he was half apologizing that your first time together would be in a cave.

“I may be a princess, Husband, but I am no soft woman. I’ve fucked in worse places,” You snickered.

Yunho’s eyes widened before he half smiled at your boldness. “Then let me have you by the sea and the sky and let the gods witness our consummation of our marriage.”

You impulsively grabbed Yunho’s hand and sucked on his middle and index fingers. Your tongue swirled around his long digits and you said huskily. “Show me why I picked these pretty hands, husband.”

Yunho’s now slick fingers reached under your pants and pressed to your clit. You tossed your head back in ecstasy as he easily rubbed you, warming you up from the inside out. 

You guided his other hand to grope your breast and you watched in awe as his fingers nimbly pulled at the tie at your chest in order to spill your breast out for him. He neatly tugged and pulled and played with your nipple. 

His fingers became bolder as they dipped lower to find your own slick dripping from between your folds. “Wife of mine, why are you so wet?”

You moaned. “You, Yunho, it’s all because of you.”

“Do my fingers give you that much pleasure?” Yunho teased you lightly.

“They look so pretty against my body,” You admitted. 

Yunho whirled you around suddenly, your back to his chest. It gave you an easy view of Yunho twirling your nipple in one hand and his other playing with your cunt. You swallowed hard, suddenly very tempted by your own husband’s hands.

“Will you come undone simply from my hands playing with you, princess?” Yunho wondered, his voice husky against the shell of your ear.

Your mind was silent and empty, with only one voice chanting ‘feels so good feels so good feels so good’ over and over. You had a one track mind, and it was coming against Yunho’s fingers. You gyrated your hips into the motions of Yunho’s fingers. Your first orgasm came easy, tempted from the nimble hands that had condemned you to your current fate. 

Your hand went behind you, behind Yunho’s neck, for support as you trembled against his chest. “Oh Yunho, oh gods, it’s so goddamn good, Hel’s left tit.”

“I'm not sure if I should be proud of that,” Yunho laughed behind you.

“Oh, you should be proud of that,” You assured him. “I can’t brag of many men that could get me to climax that fast.”

Yunho pulled his fingers from you and you turned your head and watched as he cleaned them diligently. He hummed as if he had a taste of honeyed wine and you pressed your lips together. “Will you take me now?”

With Yunho’s other hand, he cupped your face and ran his thumb against your lips. “I would see your face when I bring you to your next peak,” Yunho informed you.

You nodded and immediately Yunho’s hands went around your waist to hoist you upwards. You had no choice but to wrap your legs around Yunho’s waist as he sought a section of cave wall that wasn’t dripping with water. 

Yunho's hands dived into your hair to hold your head in place as he kissed you again. Yunho was hungry for you. His lips went from pink to red as they became swollen from the kissing. His tongue twirled around yours, looking to intertwine with every part of you. He only set you down so that you could strip your pants off and he could push his down to his thighs. You pulled at the rest of your shirt, giving Yunho complete access to your chest. 

Your back was pressed up against the wall again, legs around his waist, except now Yunho’s curved, glorious cock was pressed up against you. “Yunho,” You cooed his name.

“I’ll go slow; so slow. I’ll be careful,” Yunho promised. 

Yunho's hand tilted your head so that he could place kisses along your neck as he rubbed the underside of his dick against your wetness. His kisses continued along your jaw as his cock slid downwards. You held your breath to wait for him to penetrate you but Yunho simply fucked his cock between your thighs, the top of his cock now getting a good coating.

“What if I don’t want it slow?” You growled.

Yunho laughed, his shoulders shaking under your hands. “I must. You can endure it, surely?” He tilted his head flirtatiously, although it was still a challenge directed to you. 

Yunho didn’t wait for you to answer, he brushed the head of his cock against your hole. You cocked your hips to give him easier access and you both moaned loudly as he entered you. Yunho spent equal time watching your face as he watched his cock make its way into you. He slid inch by precious inch with dedication only a man with grace could manage. You wiggled your hips and whined, but Yunho simply cupped your face and pushed a thumb into your mouth to silence. 

Yunho braced himself against the wall with his free hand and reached under one of your legs to cock it so that you were spread even wider for him. “Let’s make the motion of the ocean jealous.”

“Gods, Yunho,” You cried out.

His hips worked between your legs that were stuttering at best. Your cunt fought him for every inch he could manage. Yunho was soon sweating and stuttering. “You’re so--gods, so tight! I--” He moaned, biting down on his lower lip. “Your warmth encompasses me so completely.”

“I never imagined being with you would be so consuming,” You whispered to him.

“I have needed you for such a long time,” Yunho told you, kissing you sweetly. “I thought you would never let me touch you.”

“I would never let these hands not touch me, husband,” You informed him.

Yunho paced himself inside of you. He didn’t pound into you until you indicated to him that your climax was approaching. “I’ll not last any longer than you,” Yunho admitted, “I’ll follow your lead.”

With that said, Yunho reached under your other leg and you had nothing to brace against except the wall behind your back. Yunho had complete control of the pace and it was grueling. He fucked you mercilessly, the slapping of skin against skin echoing against the rock walls. With a scream, you came hard, and Yunho was good on his word. He came as soon as your pussy walls fluttered around him. He gasped, high pitched and desperate. 

The two of you came down slowly, breaths intersecting each other as you kissed lazily. Yunho’s thrusts came to a stop eventually and he let down one leg, then the other, leaning back to pull his softening cock from your cunt. 

You gathered your pants and tied back up your shirt. “Yunho…”

“I’m sorry,” Yunho squeaked. 

Your head shot up to look at your husband. His ears were red-hot and his eyes were shaking slightly. “Sorry for what? For giving your wife your seed? For giving her a climax? What’s to apologize for?”

“I--I don’t know what took over me!” Yunho said with wide eyes. “I just knew I had to bring you to your climax and you looked so pretty with your eyebrows furrowed and your mouth parted, I simply wanted to come with you as well, I--” Yunho laughed at himself, scratching the back of his neck. “I’m making a fool of myself, aren’t I?”

“Yunho.” You grabbed his hand between yours and kissed it. “You are fine. Everything is fine. You were wonderful.”

Yunho smiled, then wiped his face blank, then smiled again. “You were wonderful,” he murmured, biting his lower lip again.

“Will you escort me back to my room?” You suggested.

“Will you hold my hand?” Yunho replied.

You both knew the answers to your questions.

Your trip to the mountains was a different one from the sea. You and Yunho huddled inside a carriage for the better part of the day. Which was fine between the two of you. You kissed and giggled and acted like newlyweds, finally. You had Yunho and some heavy fur coverings and you were heading to your childhood home, where you would reside for all of the winter months. You had no worries hanging over your head. You had been too drunk on love to realize that as much as you hated Yunho’s world, the same would be true for him.

That evening, in your grand, empty hall the two of you dined. You were at one end and Yunho in your father’s seat. You were so far apart, neither of you talked much. The servants offering each course and the clatter of utensils against plates were the only sounds in the vast space. 

You had a gnawing uncertainty in your gut but it was quickly banished when Yunho came to your bed that night. You rode Yunho in your childhood bed, rocking your hips and making him hold your breasts in place as you coaxed the both of you to an easy climax. You fell asleep in Yunho’s arms and thought everything was right in the world.

Except it wasn’t for Yunho.

It was worse because he always attempted to brush it off. You would watch him smile brightly when you asked him if he was cold, but then he would frown and run his hands up and down his arms. He denied getting lost and insisted he wished to see the sweeping views your castle offered. He told you it was picture perfect but you had a sense he simply wished to go back inside. 

Not that inside was any better. You offered him walks along the long corridors lined with your ancestor’s portraits. He yawned as you explained each of their hard-earned exploits at protecting this castle. He glanced cursory over the fine treasures that your family had accumulated during their reign. 

Eventually, you two spent less and less time with each other. You began to spend long hours in your father's study, writing letters to your vassals to be sent by carrier pigeon. You weren’t entirely sure what Yunho did with his free time, but you often caught him staring off into the air, like he wasn’t even present. 

You watched your glowing prince of the shore fade. It killed you when you made love and could see the tired circles under his eyes. And still Yunho would smile at you and insist that he was alright. Yunho would stop showing up for dinner. When he collapsed on his way to your bedroom one evening, that was the end of the line.

You immediately sent Yunho away. He was bundled up in the same carriage that had brought the two of you to the mountains. Your wise woman traveled with him to inform the doctor’s in Yunho’s land of what ailed the prince. You promised with a soft kiss, careful of how frail Yunho appeared, to follow him as soon as you could. 

The first month when you didn’t show up, Yunho sent a letter. He made plenty of excuses on your behalf. He understood you had to rule in your father’s stead and you had been away for a while by meeting with the council and visiting his kingdom. Then when a month turned into two, he asked about your health, which was fine. Then the third month, your husband showed up on your doorstep, banging on your bedroom door.

“Yu-yunho!” You stuttered, shocked to find your husband in your castle, let alone in your kingdom.

“What have I done now?” He raged. “Why have you not come back for me?”

You were taken aback by his questions and his anger. You had never seen this side of Yunho before. Your mouth opened and closed but you found that you could form no words. Your husband was always making you speechless.

“I promise you I’m not a sickly individual. You needn’t worry about our heirs. It was just a lapse. I can do better!” Yunho informed you as he strode into your room.

You quietly closed your door and watched as Yunho paced in your room. His hands moved around as he spoke and you cursed yourself for always being drawn to them.

“Yunho,” You said his name quietly, gathering up his hands. You kissed the back of each hand and looked up at him forlornly. “Living with me made you sick. It was your love for me that made you fade. I don’t want you to die.”

Yunho blinked at you, a cute moment that you had to push away because of the serious discussion. “What?”

“You can’t live here. It’s detrimental to your health. I can’t live with you, it would drive me insane. We simply aren’t meant to be. I think it would be better if we--”

“No.” Yunho shook his head. “No, I will not get a divorce.”

You frowned. “Yunho, we must.”

“No!” Yunho said more forcefully. He gathered you to his chest, with your head against his breast. You could hear the beating of his heart, quick but firm. “I won’t let you.”

You allowed yourself one more moment in your husband's arms and then you pushed him away gently. “It’s not meant to be, Yunho. We’ll only end up miserable with each other. I don’t ever want our love to twist into hatred.”

Yunho’s lips dipped downwards and it looked like he was fighting some tears. “But I love you.”

You felt your throat tighten. “I know you do.”

“Don’t you love me too?” He pressed. 

“I do but it’s not enough. My love won’t keep you healthy. My love isn’t a sustenance which you can live on. My love--”

Yunho cupped your cheeks with both hands, your head feeling tiny in his large hands. His thumbs rubbed against your cheeks. When had you started crying? “I can’t take care of you, Yunho. It’s all I want and yet I’m not capable.”

“I don’t care what it takes,” Yunho said. “I will build a castle at the halfway point between our kingdoms. We will make every official travel to us to deal with the problems of both kingdoms. But I cannot remain separated from you. I will die from that, that I can promise you. You don’t want me to die from a broken heart, do you?”

You tipped your head up, to see Yunho’s half smile, part somber and part hopeful. You loved him, you loved him with all your heart, you knew that. But wouldn’t your love kill the both of you? Spirit, body and mind?

Yunho shook his head. “Don’t think with your mind, for once, think with your heart.”

“Yunho--”

Yunho put a finger over your mouth. “Husband,” he quietly corrected you.

You admitted defeat. You knew you would also die from a broken heart if you couldn't spend the rest of your days on Midgard with Yunho, with your husband. You barely survived your father’s death, you couldn't handle another loss. 

“I love you, husband of mine,” You whispered.

With a choked sob, Yunho gathered you in his arms once again, hugging you tightly and kissing the crown of your head. The soft kisses turned into hard ones, Yunho desperate for you, hungry for you, since he hadn't been with you for months. You moaned into his mouth and pressed your body even tighter against his. 

 “Will you let me make you mine?” You echoed the words Yunho had once spoken to you in the sea cave. 

“Only if you’ll let me claim you,” Yunho repeated your words back to you.

 “Then let me have you by the mountains and the rocks and let the gods witness our love for each other,” You said, solemnly. “You never know, maybe they’ll write our love story into a saga.”

[scoobydoodean]

Your thoughts on Amy are really interesting to me because when I was watching I'll admit I saw it as another tragic scenario that's often presented in the show. Like, she found a way to live her life with her son that wouldn't have her kill people (being a mortician) but when her son was sick she turned to desperate measures to save him. It's a sort of situation we see time and time again on the show. I'll admit I didn't quite pick up on the classist rhetoric going on in the episode and while I'm not entirely sure that was intentional by the writers it's definitely had me looking at this plot point in a new light. Dean killing Amy and its consequences has always been a really interesting narrative beat because while I ultimately don't fully agree with Dean's decision there, I totally see why he did it and understand his reasonings for it. Idk how many other fans feel the Amy conflict and the arc it has the brothers go through but I do think that at least at it's core it was an interesting one to explore even if it's execution of it left something to be desired for me

Sorry to ramble in your ask box but I seriously love your metas even when I don't always agree with your opinions 💜

If you don't mind a little rambling as well: I don't know that I'd say we see this same situation time and again. We have "Monsters Who Manage". For example, Lenore and her nest (2.03, 6.19). Benny. Garth and Bess. Sometimes those "monsters" feed again despite their best efforts (ex: Lenore in 6.19).

Amy isn't like any of them though. Sam seems to want to present Amy as an addict who relapsed (like Lenore), but that isn't what happened. She didn't feed on the brains of the people she killed. That was never her goal. She just had an opportunity to do something immoral to save her kid and she did it. In the end, her being a kitsune has almost nothing to do with her actions. A human parent could have done something very similar to save their own child. Imagine if your child needed a new heart and there was a long waiting list, so you went out and killed someone else and had their heart transplanted. That's more like what Amy did. Her kid got a food borne illness or infection. Normal human children get listeria and other dangerous food borne infections/illnesses. The only way in which Amy being a kitsune really impacts the situation is that it presented a unique solution to her child being sick that wouldn't be available to other parents (fresh pituitary glands). Her choosing to act on that opportunity just kind of shows that on some level, she does think of humans (at least "lower class" humans) as food.

At the same time, I do think Dean's actions go further than a moral difference with Sam. Dean is spiraling after the events of season 6. Cas lied and then died, and when it all went to shit, Death blamed Dean for everything and Dean crumpled under the weight of those expectations (we jump further into this in the following episode). It leaves Dean hyper-focused on not making a "mistake" again (for example, trusting someone he shouldn't have). At the same time, Dean's deeply depressed and suicidal (7.02), and his outlook on life and his own family is incredibly cynical when "The Girl Next Door" takes place. He says "the other shoe will drop" in regards to Sam because he doesn't have hope that anything could ever turn out right for their family. He repeats it in regards to Amy because people never change. Everyone is doomed to repeat their mistakes for all time (Dean's despair often looks like falling into the spiral of causality instead of remembering he can leap out of its flow). He also says "People are what they are", and I do think he's thinking about Cas at that point.

Amy mingled with humans and was a part of their world, but her actions showed she saw them as food on some level... and I think that Dean looks back at Cas and worries that he was a fool to ever think Cas was (for lack of a better word) human (or at least an ally to humanity who truly respected them as equals). In 6.22, Cas tells Dean they were never a family, and in 7.01, he follows that up by telling Dean he only ever saw him as a pet. He reinforced the traditional hierarchy where humans are lower creatures to monsters—food. And what has Dean been fighting all his life? Powerful creatures who believe their physical dominance gives them license exploit humans as food. When Dean tells Amy "people are who they are"... I do think he's thinking about Cas and the trust he had in that relationship that was deeply crushed. He's scared to trust anyone again because he trusted Cas so very much and now his world has been ripped apart. He doesn't trust Sam's judgement on Amy because he trusted Cas and that backfired spectacularly. He doesn't trust Amy not to do this again. Tbh I think he's right not to trust her because she has absolutely zero remorse of any kind at all whatsoever at any point. To me, that makes it quite apparent she'd be more than happy to do the same thing again if her kid was ever sick again. Hell—maybe even if she got sick. But it does go deeper than a moral clash for Dean. He's full of despair. At the same time, his actions also aren't as simple as dropping into the doom of "Monsters bad" because he doesn't kill Amy's son. Something Sam's never really grasped is that monsterhood has never been about physical characteristics to Dean. It's always been about actions. For Sam on the other hand, monsterhood has historically been more about physical characteristics (post here). I think this also plays a role in their feelings about Amy.