#i just need to A) be outside and B) suffer on my own terms

[msburgundy]

maybe i need to go be miserable tomorrow (ruck 10 miles)

[dr-zeddy]

Miquella is a deeply tragic character and saying he's a villain just because he used someone, who was probably way worse than him to create an order lead by kindness, makes you come off as pretty short-sighted imo Miq was as much of a victim as Mohg. He had good intentions, he truly believed he could make the he could make the world a better place.

*exhales deeply* Are you the person, I think you are? nonetheless....

I'm going to shed my opinion on Miquella now because I seriously can not tell if this is bait or not from things we see and know in the base game and DLC and want to clarify my thoughts on him and why I believe rendering him as a victim is extremely problematic, also outside of the entire Mohg situation.

Is it so hard to internalize that the things Miquella did were actually highly morally questionable? I got to admit, he is a way more interesting character to me after the DLC because of the things he did (and I enjoy villains, so yeah.) I guess the »villain« term is as much accurate as some of you folks justify brainwashing to be ethical , when it is done with good intentions and keeps the peace, with which I personally do not agree with at all.

I don't see Miquella as tragic because honestly we have nothing to suggest that this guy suffered in any way before he decided to rip himself off of his personality. And that is the point, he decided to do that himself. No one forced him to this. Miquella had a choice, unlike Mohg. Yeah sure, you could argue that he suffered through his immense »empathy« but honestly, Miquella's empathy for the weak and shunned always came off as superficial. Why does he not care for the Albinaurics being tortured in Castle Sol, which is clearly allied with him? Where are the Misbegotten and other creatures in Elphael? Where are the Albinaurics? And the Omens? The Nomads?? Miquella claims to want to create a perfect world where everyone is equal but honestly except for words we hear, we do not see any fucking action or effort to truly include them in his world order.

And that's the thing, Miquella reeks for me at best of naivity and at worst of white saviour complex. He grew up as a fucking empyrean, he had a good relationship with at least one of his parents, he was a golden child. From the things we see and hear in the base game, and now the DLC, it feels like Miquella does not seem to grasp the complexity of the situation when it comes to subjugation. If that is due to his child-like thinking, infused by his curse or actually just his personality, is up for debate. Can you truly care for the subjugated as someone more privileged? Absolutely. But only if you truly educate yourself on the matter and actually listen to the needs of the excluded and shunned.

What does Miquella do instead? He rips everyone off of their autonomy to make decisions themselves if they refuse or challenge his beliefs. That is textbook tyranny. You can not save someone, who refuses to be saved by someone like you. Doing so anyway is extremely ignorant. In the end, Miquella actually puts his needs & beliefs before that of those he claims to desire to save. He is so convinced of his own agenda that he loses track of the moral dilemma, his approach to worldpeace poses. That is not tragic. These are the thoughts of a megalomaniac. If Miquella's selflessness was truly genuine there would be no need of compelling affection. However, he bewitches people. Over and over.

Of course, there are his efforts of curing Malenia still. But even that is, in the big sight of things, not really a selfless act because Malenia is a.) close family and b.) he gets and actual use out of Malenia's talent as a skilled swordswoman. I do not think Miquella bewitched her, I truly believe Malenia followed him by his own will and I also do believe he really did want to help her! However true kindness lays in how you treat those who can do nothing for you. Bewitching those who can do nothing for you and refuse to follow you, is not exactly a very pretty picture of his character.

And in comes Mohg to this occasion. The game is so fucking obvious about the fact that Mohg was the exploited one and I seriously do not understand why people still insist he isn't and exploited Miquella?? He is the only demigod we know for certain of, who was brainwashed. With Radahn and Malenia we do not know for sure but with Mohg we do. The fact that Mohg was bewitched implies that Miquella could not be sure that Mohg would have agreed to a deal and that would have been a way safer route than to bewitch him and his closest consult. I mean, Miquella almost DIED because he underestimated Ansbach's knowledge on how Mohg behaves. Why the fuck risk that if you could have just openly made a deal with Mohg, if he was as power hungry and crazy as the game implied?

In contrast to Miquella, Mohg is actually one of the most tragic characters in the game. This motherfucker was told his mere existence is a crime, grew up in the sewers locked away for years, he had no one except this one Outer God who seemed to care for him and showed him maternal love, something he was deprived off his entire life. Not getting into the speculation on how the cult operated before Miquella took over but it's very clear that he ruined Mohg's life. Mohg just wanted to get away from the toxicity he grew up with and created his own haven, from which he too thought, was the right thing to do. However he never forced anyone to join him. He never mind controlled people. People followed him by their own accounts.

The cult in itself is probably morally questionable too but we also have no idea how the Mohgwyn Dynasty worked before Miquella essentially took over. But by that standard, everyone is in the Lands Between is a twisted bastard with their different agendas ….

The point is that Ansbach is still right though when he says that »Mohg deserved better«. NO ONE who is genuinely interested in helping the shunned and subjugated, would chose one of the most excluded and tormented souls as their pawn. NOBODY deserves to be treated like this but the fact that Mohg is a product of extreme racism and social exclusion makes it so much worse and makes Miquella look so much more hypocritical. It suits the stuff we see in Castle Sol and the Haligtree … Miquella wants to be seen as the world's saviour so badly but seems to have no understanding on what suffering actually means. Because he never experienced it. His empathy is superficial and short sighted. The fact he is convinced he is doing everyone a favour in bewitching them, and does everything in his power to achieve his dream, makes him a truly terrifying villain. And that is something I like Miquella for. Is that really so hard to accept for people like you?

Sure, you can still live out the fantasy in your head that the mindcontrolling intermitted in Mohg to "grape" Miquella (even tho the game also never confirmed this????) if that pleases you, but for the love of God stop acting like it is a fact that Miquella was used by Mohg because he wasn't. I guess a lot of personal feelings from my side bubble up regarding this topic and I'm sorry of if I come off as passive aggressive but as a survivor of abuse as a minor by someone "popular", and nobody believed me, and Mohg being one of my comfort characters, that shit hits different. Just not a fan of turning victim-abuser dynamics upside down, sorry.

[pienhime]

10 female vtubers who are popular with ryousangata and jirai girls!

Two important things to know before you read any further: I am NOT alleging any of these vtubers to be jirai kei. That'd be incredibly inappropriate for me to do, as I don't know any of them well enough to know if they are a part of the jirai kei subculture. I am simply listing vtubers who seem to be the most popular within the ryousanjirai crowd, that is those whose female fanbase seems to have a higher proportion of ryousanjirai girls than most.

The other thing I'd like to get out of the way is that some vtubers on this list are known for using "menhera" as an insult. Sadly, thats grown popular in the vtuber scene and online spaces in japan. For vtuber fans reading this who think that's a weird thing to say, the word "menhera" has been around since 2001 and was the name given to an internet subculture revolving around mental health safe spaces, awareness, and vent art. Even tho it was literally created to help erase the "mental illness makes you dangerous" thing, the stigma took over once the term went mainstream, so its often used to mean "yandere psycho". The subculture still exists if you know where to look, but barely ever uses the name it gave itself anymore because it attracts trolls, edgelords, and fetishists.

One last thing- a few of these girls fit the "loli" archetype, and consider it a part of their appeal, but no minors will be featured on this list.

absolutely zero past-life discussion

I'll do my best to summarize what the vtuber is known for and the reasons i think are likely why their female fanbase has a larger proportion of ryousanjirai girls.

1. Sakamata Chloe (Hololive HoloX)

Given that she recently got a new outfit that looks a lot like a dark girly kei coord, you've probably seen Chloe on your feed recently. Despite her yamikawaii punk-ish look, she's so cute and probably couldn't survive in the wild if she were a real orca. The "pon" is unreal. Her original songs talk about her own inner pain in a way that may be relatable to jirai girls, and she's covered a lot of songs popular with us too (such as Cute Loving and Devil Janai Mon). Between her cutesiness, choice in fashion, and her songs, it's easy to see why she's loved by jirai kei girls.

2. Minato Aqua (Hololive Gen. 2)

You probably know about Aqua if you follow me, since I just posted a link to one of her more recent song covers. It's one about a ryousangata girl falling in love with a host, and knowing his affection is fake but wanting it anyway. She covers a lot of songs about topics that are familiar to ryousan and jirai girls, like kyuukurarin, darling dance, goodbye declaration, and internet overdose to name a few. Her original songs are also hits with the ryousangata crowd, with "aqua iro palette" being the choice of song in so many tiktoks and reels of ryousan wotas showing off their lavish birthday celebrations for their oshis. She's also a cosplayer, frequently wearing maid outfits, making her relatable to a lot of girls who work at concept cafes. She also did a duet with Shion, a cover of "menhera janai mon", which is a song i often see misinterpreted outside of japan because of the need for cultural context on jirai kei, ryousangata, and menhera both as a subculture and insult. Should I do a post explaining the lyrics and overall themes?

3. Makaino Ririmu (Nijisanji Gamers Generation 3)

Listen. If you're in the jirai kei subculture, I guarantee you've seen Ririmu. This girl's fanart is probably on every jirai kei blog known to man. If you don't recognize this model, you'd recognize the maid outfit with bondage elements thats paired with a coat that looks suspiciously like REFLEM's bunny ears coat (the one that took yamikawa lovers by storm a while back). Ririmu's popularity with jirai kei girls isn't just because she likes similar fashions to most of us. Ririmu has been open about her past suffering with agorophobia, suicidal ideation, and being a NEET. She's shared bits and pieces of her recovery with her fans! Of course, she also does yandere bit that might be more than a bit, and covers a lot of songs popular with ryousan and jirai girls, like more kyun, chuupuri, and vampire.

4. Mikeneko (Indie)

Mikeneko isn't new to the scene at all, but has recently come out of a partly mental health related hiatus to a much larger following than before. Mikeneko collects models like they're pokemon cards, going thru four in total now, two of which have been in one year. She wears tons of yamikawa fashions, and plays up her chuunibyou for streams. Aside from her on-and-off NEETdom, Mikeneko is open about a lot of her health issues, including bipolar, and about her medication and trips to the psychiatric hospital. She calls herself menhera, often in the secondary meaning, but she's also rumored to have been a part of the actual subculture for a long time. Her original songs, drop and you&me ring really true for a lot of jirai and menhera girls such as myself.

5. Meloco Kyoran (Nijisanji EN Generation 7)

Meloco is the only vtuber on this list to be a part of an company's EN (english-speaking) branch. She's included on the list because she's also big in japan- because she's japanese. She's almost fluent in english and was accepted for the english branch, but frequently slips into japanese and appeals to her japanese fans. Her outfit is gothic lolita inspired with bondage elements and plenty of edge, to fit her overall spooky exorcist theming. Her creepy-cute nature and cool alternative onee-san demeanor have attracted her many jirai kei fans, and inspired a lot of ryousan girls' oshi nails.

6. Sukoya Kana (Nijisanji Tulip-gumi Unit)

Admittedly, Kana's probably got more menhera (as in the subculture) fans than jirai or ryousan, but she still has enough that I wanted to include her. Her nurse theming isn't just a gimmick, her actual "day job" is as a nurse. As in, when she's not streaming, she works in a hospital as staff after passing her qualifying exams in 2022! She must be super busy! Her morbid interests and fetishes, as well as her medical themed design, have no doubt appealed to many jirai girls too. Besides that, she's covered a lot of songs, including quite a few beloved by landmines such as lavie, nainai girls pride, and godish.

7. Natori Sana (Indie)

Listen, I just know you've seen her figures by now. Every menhera, yamikawaii, and "cutecore" account in the west has at least one of this nurse girl's figures. She's ultra cute, with a sickeningly sweet smile and design. Her lore is interesting- she claims to work at a sanitarium, but has hinted very heavily many times that she is in fact not a nurse, but a patient in denial. Whether this is just lore for fun and appeal or is a dramatized reflection of Sana's own feelings and mental health is up for speculation.

8. La+ (Laplus) Darkness (HoloX)

Remember that disclaimer regarding using menhera derogatorily earlier? Yeah that's 90% because of Laplus's inclusion on the list. It feels like she accuses someone of being menhera (derogatory) like every other VOD. Apart from that, Laplus is a grade A kusogaki, complete with constant angry outburst when things don't go her way. She's a demon whos intelligence was... "sealed away"... sure. Her gothic appearance and explosive personality seem to be what's gained her such a large jirai kei following.

9. Houshou Marine (Hololive Gen. 3)

Dear god. Alright, so you've definitely heard at least two of her songs if you're on japanese jirai kei SNS at all. This cosplaying pirate is so horny that it's literally considered her catchphrase. Her original songs about wanting to be seen as desirable and be... pleasured seem to be especially popular with landmine girls (which is maybe related to how many jirai girls are in a certain profession). She enjoys gothic lolita fashion, girls love/yuri, and enough fetishes to lose track of if you're counting.

10. Shigure Ui (Indie)

Did you really think I could make this list without including hololive star Oozora Subaru's mom and voice of the song that's plaguing japanese social media, ESPECIALLY landmine social media rn? Sure, it's everywhere, but go check every insta kaiwai dedicated to jirai subculture and see how many of their reels have this song. Even though she's just now broken out to this degree of fame, she's been around a while, and is the "mama" (artist) to several other vtubers. She often collabs with hololive members! She loves taboo fiction, which is also especially popular amongst jirai girls.

Last but not least, I want to add three honorable mentions from Hololive that are also popular with ryousanjirai girls. Tokoyami Towa is a super popular choice of cosplay amongst jirai girls specifically. She has a cute-but-cool look, and lots of her outfits definitely have subcultural influences from japanese ゴスパンク (gothic x punk) and general "egirl"-type styles. Murasaki Shion is a very popular choice of profile pic for ryousanjirai girls, and it's easy to see why. Her "kusogaki" appeal and lolita outfits, as well as her "Menhera Janai Mon" duet with Aqua all appeal to that demographic. Finally, last honorable mention is Amane Kanata, purely because of how popular she is with lovers of Tenshi Kaiwai, which has a lot of overlap with the jirai subculture. She basically predicted the trend before the magazine that popularized it even existed. Mizuiro x white cybercore outfits, a nurse cosplay, and angel theming make her a spot-on icon in that scene.

That's it! Now I have to stop procrastinating on the pien kei characters post...

[traitor-boyfriend]

what did you think of spring break. gay stan is canon now basically right

(edit: meant to publish this a while ago and forgot because I have the short term memory of a goldfish now)

This made me realize I never gave my thoughts on the last two episodes. Will do another day. (ron howard arrested development narration: she did not.)

To answer your actual question, I -love- how often an episode plot that tangentially relates either directly or more discreetly to some kind of societal crisis of masculinity and/or gender anxiety includes Stan. obvious examples include Cissy, wherein which Stan is seemingly the only one outside of Wendy and Cartman's Shakespearean twelfth night transgender double bluff who has any semblance of actual "crisis" over the modern conception of gender identity, for seemingly no reason? We don't get a scene of him trying on a dress (*cough* chp9 of abfooc *cough*) or asking "what if I'm not a boy?" but his scenes seem to suggest or imply he is asking those questions privately with himself. Stan also shares a lot of focus in tweek and Craig -- not necessarily that homosexuality as a subject for commentary is 1:1 interchangeable with masculinity *now* but for an older generation, like those of Matt and Trey's age, it certainly is, and there really is no way to create a clear cut distinction between homosexuality and transgenderism as two separate experiences with no overlap despite efforts to on both sides of the culture war. Literally the first season of south park has Stan befriend a character named Big Gay Al and proclaim to the entire town that homosexuality is a natural and beautiful thing against the backdrop of our a-plot in which Stan laments his dog being gay b/c he isn't a 'butch' manly dog. Combine that with Stan's growing romantic disinterest in both Wendy specifically (with an episode -this- season showing just that) and girls more broadly as the show has gone on, goddamn. nevermind the subtext we can project onto on the covid specials where Stan, unwell and suffering the simulated tyranny of marriage to a woman (or, woman-figure. We are talking about a robot here.) Is only able to achieve any semblance of happiness by travelling into his own past to tell himself he needs to forgive Kyle or he will regret it every day for the rest of his life. So.

straight Stan -- 0. Gay Stan -- 1

honestly I think part of this is probably that trey parker in a lot of ways strikes me as someone very much so not a Man's Man, y'know. He's loves the shock value, paegentry, and the spectacle of flirting with cross dressing, homosexuality, and gender non-conformity in his chosen mediums in a very attuned... Dare I say, almost butlerian fashion. and also in a way that only infrequently comes across as judgemental or cruel. Though this is obviously not coming from a queer theorist framework and more just trey Parker's longstanding "if you tell me I can't do this I will just to spite you and also fuck you I can do what I want." attitude.

long story short, yeah. yeah stan's gay. throw up the banner.

[thecultofcupid]

ROTTMNT Headcanons:

i decided that i wanted to infodump about my headcanons for the turtles specifically :> due to the fact that I am a fictive, this is influenced a little bit by our fictives/exomemories. but YEAH i just wanted to ramble a lot and you should go stream rottmnt and support the team bcuz it deserves all the love in the world yeah ok lets go

Leo

extremely transmasc. like this guy is so transmasc

uses he/him pronouns exclusively but would probably accept being misgendered purely for comedic effect (only by his family or friends tho)

says he's bisexual but he prefers to call himself queer

tell me this man does not have ADHD you can't

acts superior to hide his debilitating inferiority complex

struggles with insomnia. has developed ways of managing his sleeping problems, but they still win out every now and then

Post-Movie

deals with PTSD-related dissociation. it's pretty damn bad

the WORST internalized ableism you've ever seen

loses the arm anyway. my headcanon is that krang prime got ahold of it as his siblings were pulling him out of the portal

the worst patient you've ever seen. he is constantly plotting escape

almost constantly wearing a knee brace. he's supposed to use crutches but often tries to get away with not doing so. has a wheelchair for bad pain days but he refuses to use it most of the time bc he's stubborn

insomnia gets way worse, partly due to night terrors and partly due to chronic pain. sleep does not come easy to this guy

Raph

bigender; she/him pronouns with a preference for fem terms

likes who she likes; doesn't feel the need to put a label to his sexuality

she is autistic bc I said so

PLURAL!! she has OSDD-1a and has a system of 3 or 4 other alters not including herself (Mind Raph is kind of up in the air for me, but the others are Little Red, Angel, and Savage)

dislikes swearing, in part because Little Red picks up on it and will not stop once he starts /hj

Post-Movie

blind in right eye bc of the krang

most of his complications are PTSD related; nightmares, dissociation, etc

was always a bit mindful of his size compared to his surroundings/family, but after the movie, it becomes a lot more prevalent. she is terrified of hurting her loved ones again

nerve damage in one arm from opening the portal; causes pain/numbness/tingling and minor muscle spasms. Donnie made compression gloves to help with this

Mikey

genderfluid; shifts between she/he/they pronouns

aroace

ADHD

LOVES body art. will always have something new painted onto his arms or plastron

since he can't really reach his carapace to paint on it, he convinces his siblings to let him paint on theirs. will often be found in Donnie's lab painting their carapace while they work

loves hanging out in Donnie's lab while they work

Post-Movie

suffered the worst in terms of damage to his arms

deals w chronic fatigue and brain fog after opening the portal

wears compression gloves from Donnie almost 24/7. has to be reminded to take them off

Donnie

nonbinary/autigender. uses they/them pronouns primarily, but also uses he/him and it/its on occasion. loves telling people that they "identify as a threat"

THE disaster bisexual

WEAPONIZED AUTISM

doesn't get enough sleep not because they're an insomniac, but because they hyperfixate on projects for days at a time and will not sleep until either a) they're done working, b) one of their siblings forces them to go to bed, or c) they simply crash on their desk out of exhaustion

for a self-proclaimed genius, they're not very good at taking care of themselves

has nonverbal episodes and uses sign language to communicate during them. however, he and Leo both learned morse code as well so they could have their own "secret language" that only they understood

the worst eyesight. like it's god awful. they wear custom-made contacts when they're outside the lair, but they also have glasses for days when they can't be bothered

has bitten every member of his family at least once

has eaten the family goldfish before (not Piebald)

has claw-like scars across their carapace from the shredder. change my mind

Post-Movie

scarring on carapace from Technodrome and being ripped from the control panel. it looks worse than it is

has trouble eating due to sensory issues

suffers from tactile hallucinations. has to have something on their shell at all times

has seizures resulting from the Technodrome connecting with his central nervous system

that's all i have rn. there's so many headcanons that I didn't include here just cus it'd be a mess but pls ask me questions cus I love talking about these guys. and ofc ask questions about other characters as well, not just the turtles!! i wanna do more art featuring some of our headcanons as well so look forward to that >:))

[fraudulent-cheese]

So i watched the first half of ROTI! i don't have many thoughts honestly?

I don't care for Staci, i'll be honest. Her gimmick is repetitive and im glad she got booted first if this was the only thing the writters were gonna do with her. It would be funny if there was a grain of truth to her claims tho.

Dakota's pretty fun and i like the added focus on the interns this season, because let's be honest outside of one "haha the interns keep dying" joke in both TDI and TDWT there isn't much i belive? So yeah

also samkota's cute, idk what to say? God i wish the writters explored Dakota's character before the whole mutation thing.

Honestly all the ROTI girls are great, wish they got more than arcs about which boy they wanted to kiss because MAN ANNE MARIA AND JO ARE GREAT, Jo especially, she's currently my fav of the season. I wish they did more with both of them man!!! I don't like the jabs made about her appearence but i find them fine from Anne Maria specifically? Like yeah she would do that! I wish the girls were fighting for longer!

Dawn's one of the better characters but i wish her conflict with Scott lasted longer than one episode. Same with her friendship with B! What is it with Total Drama and throwing away interesting rivalries the episode they start at?!

B's fine i'll be real. I like how they don't actually make him speak! Other contestants do make jabs about it but like, they're teenagers, and one of them is from Scott and he's kinda shitty so it works lol

SPEAKING OF! Scott's pretty fun! He's not the best antagonist ever but he's fun to watch and that's enough for me rn. He's pathetic and shitty it's great

Team man is also fun, i like Brick especially. Don't like the frequency of the pissing himself jokes tho. Like, i get it! he's a military boy who likes fashion and pisses himself! Do something else!

I don't care for Cameron i'll be real. Neither for Zoey, i wish her flaws were explored more because dang she's judgy in episode 5!

I guess i'll talk about Mike here too? I think he's ok, but man i wish his alters were treated more like people. I don't mean the other contestants, i mean by the show. Svetlana's great for the small amount she's on screen for, and I like Chester and Vito more than i thought i would! Please show explore them a little more! (and, well, to state the obvious, don't call it mpd why did it call it mpd it wasn't even the actual term for it when the show was being written)

My least favorite part is the love triangle tho. It's suffering from a critical case of "Warrior's miscommunication": a miscommunication plotline that could be solved in a single conversation, but the characters involved don't tell anyone because we need to stretch this book to 300 pages! or in this case, the plotline to last the whole season!

I get Mike not wanting to tell Zoey because his whole thing is not wanting to tell people, and Vito not telling Anne Maria because he's fucking dumb and considering his relationship with Anne Maria wasn't in a position where he needed to disclose it, but LIKE!!! COME ON MAN!!! this could be solved so easily and they just,,, didn't. Also why can't Vito still date Anne Maria at the end he's his own person!

i'll be real i think i like the idea that Anne Maria and Vito are still friends they just make-out too, mostly because that's all they really do in the show (and also i like Jomaria more)

OK ENOUGH ABOUT THE SYSTEM MORE ABOUT THE LAST CONTESTANT

I don't care for Lightning oops. He's funny sometimes. The "Jo is a guy" jokes get old quick tho.

THAT'S IT ON CONTESTANT THOUGHTS SO FAR!

The challenges are fine? I think a couple are pretty good (the treasure hunt for instance) but a couple are less good? (the Obstacle Course is eh, i don't really care about the mine one) but honestly i wish they just executed a couple better. Like the Embarrasing questions, climbing the mountain, hell even the relay-race could've honestly been wayyy better than they actually were! At least they're camp related!

But yeah so far ROTI's pretty good, 6/10 with 8/10 characters.

[horizon-verizon]

People like to excuse Rhaenyra’s cruelty and stupidity during her brief reign as a queen because she lost her children during the war, and in my opinion, that is no excuse. She ordered daily executions, established “knights inquisitors” to hunt down innocent children, would not offer peace terms, imposed ridiculous taxes while throwing a lavish birthday party for her son. It has nothing to do with gender but everything to do with her despicable actions.

Daemon gets some “redemption” in the end because he cared about Nettles (whether or not she was his lover, bastard daughter, or both), or whatever, and Corlys, also a grasping and power hungry snake, had a change of heart after losing practically everything, but other than being badass, I thought these two men, Daemon especially, were awful. People called Daemon an anti-hero, and I am trying to recall when anti-heroes behead children, started wars for fun because they are bored, seduced their 14 years old nieces, screwed and raped virgin prostitutes, etc. Yeah, I enjoyed reading about the character and thought he died in a totally badass way, he was much more competent than Rhaenyra, but let’s not kid ourselves about him.

Probably a response to this post and all those it is connected to it.

I hope people see what I mean about how misogyny can creep into genuine criticisms of rhaenyra's flaws OR mask entirely as good faith criticisms of her moral character & fitness as a leader from this ask.

*EDIT (5/31/24): Rhaenyra suffers from really bad sexist writing on GRRM's, not just the maesters', part and it undermines his own point.* And no, she doesn't need to be necessarily "moral" like Dany to be a deserving ruler.

The point of her story was to highlight how no matter how good or evil or morally ambiguous a person you are, if you are female, you are subject to losing a power men are just granted. Or usurped. And this is inherently wrong. Rhaenyra chose to go to war rather than give up. This is valuable. Visenya was not thinking "for the realm" or for the benefit of smallfolk or outside of her family, yet she as so many fans bc she was not passive or restricted by "madness". She has less sexist writing.*

On Rhaenyra

These posts go into GRRM's writing of Rhaenyra as well as other notes about her leadership: POST #1, POST #2, POST #3, POST #4, POST #5, POST #6, POST #7, POST #8--esp Section B, C, & D. Read them!

You: "established “knights inquisitors” to hunt down innocent children."

1.

This is the quote you refer to ("Rhaenyra Triumphant"):

This is the quote of Larys' plan of the Greens' escape before Rhaenyra entered KL ("Rhaenyra Overthrown"):

Assuming you mean Maelor, once more, Larys took this boy out of the Red Keep to take away Rhaenyra's advantage against the greens, as Maelor would be an official hostage. And seeing as Rhaenyra refuses to kill ALicent and specifically gets rid of just those who had a militant hand in her aspiration or/and was an adult once she gets to KL

("Rhaenyra Triumphant"):

("Rhaenyra Triumphant"):

Rhaenyra did not send out those inquisitors to harm or kill MAelor. She sent them to kill/harm his holder, anyone who took him and is taking him from the Keep. He and those for Jaehaera and Aegon II. she specifically says "traitors" to mean Aegon II, who she also already warned she would kill after he was the one to reject her terms BUT NOT HIS CHILDREN! ("The Black and the Greens"):

I would go as far as to say Maelor & Jaehaera were both safe with Rhaenyra, and I say that despite Blood & Cheese bc B&C was an answer to Lucerys' non-hostage, anti-diplomatic (images and all), and wrongful death. a death sparred by anti-bastardism and patriarchal privileges entitling Aemond to kill his own family. With intent and malicious desire. Don't let the show fool you. Aemond willingly choosing to murder his own nephew, especially during the process of diplomacy and getting allies is the catalyst to the violence of the Dance, the war, and the battles themselves. Tracing the motivations, how he wanted to take back what he thought of as an "indignity" of a bastard somehow hurting and showing him up (the eye incident) despite his "trueborness" is exactly what spurred him on.

Meanwhile, we have Aemond killing children at Harrenhal, a rumor of Alicent laughing at raped and murdered children at Tumbleton, Alicent & Aegon (not a rumor, very much confirmed to be true) wanting to mutilate their own hostage Aegon the Younger to protect themselves. No proof nor rumor of Rhaneyra trying to hurt her siblings or other children until she gets to King's Landing and faces the lack of moneys bc the greens stole it to disable her.

Not to mention the riots stoked against her by both the Shepherd and the hiding Larys Strong...interesting how this doesn't figure in the assessment, and how you think you would have done with all this at once.

You: "imposed ridiculous taxes" & "daily executions" & "while throwing a lavish birthday party for her son"

...there was literally no money...bc the greens stole it all to make her unable to actually fund projects, whether she wanted to or not. While the executions leave a very bad taste in most mouths, most of the executions were specifically carried out for the money:

Context:

The greens didn't care about the smallfolk by taking the money that could help them. Nor did Viserys care--whose main issue with Daemon performing his brutal "cleansing" of KL was how it made him look and not the commoner's fear or vulnerability--much about the smallfolk. They are all aristocrats who lived in the lap of luxury or use clothing, dinners, etc. it to denote their status and or triumphs fopr most of their lives.

Come up with a better way for her to make money fast in her particular situation and maybe I'll concede, until then, just block me. Or reveal yourself and let me block you.

And as for the party, instead of it being a malignant thing as you painted it, I'd say it was unwise (EDIT: "altruistic") but also not as morally corrupt as Aegon throwing a party for his own nephew's unjustified death ("A Son for a Son"):

While Aegon was celebrating his "triumph" over his nephew's death because his life meant little to him was he thinking about how Rhaenyra's hypothetical anger rained down on KL and hurt his subjects? If not for strategy (Alicent & Otto), why doesn't he consider the harm this could for his subjects and castigate Aemond for this?

Why is Rhaenyra made to be the worst person of this bunch when she herself decides to quickly name her oldest remaining son her heir and publicly so, even more so because he is suspected as a bastard so she could give him a stronger claim? Alicent did the same for Aegon when she left Viserys' body to rot, imprisoned people to silence/stop the flow of any information in or out of the Red Keep, and convened the council to convince-coerce them into making Aegon the king through the ceremonies of ascension. All the bells and whistles, to create his legitimacy in the eyes of the lords and smallfolk. Alicent 100% would not care if it was winter or spring and wait to crown Aegon publicly whenever Viserys gave up the ghost, because she knew that time was of the essence and she only cared about the smallfolk as far as making sure they felt Aegon was the ruler and maintain all their images. I despise the scrutiny against rhaenyra and not against Alicent, bc Rhaenyra happens to be the woman who actually flouts constrictions against her sexual autonomy and freer model of matrifocality!

Rhaenyra also celebrated her taking of KL's with the mind of a semi-typical noble who wishes to mark their reign or victory with a feast. Again, not wise nor altruistic, but it's weird how you don't apply the same need to consider care towards subjects and the effects of one's own actions on our other claimant. That you fully ignore how Aegon is still worse than Rhaenyra both practically & morally in this area. that Rhaneyra is the one who must be the morally perfect aristocrat-claimant over him?

Finally, while I'm sure that there were people who grumbled at the princess throwing a party during the city's pennilessness, it was not a big enough deal to enough to be expressly compounded onto her imposing taxes--as she is only called "Maegor with Teats" for the taxes of all things! More protests were against her taxes, then rumors of her whoring out Alicent/Helaena, then Helaena's death, then Maleor's, until the Shepherd came along and directed the built-up hatred and fear towards the Targaryen dragons. Again, rumors and fear-mongering were first incited by the hidden Larys Strong ("Rhaenyra Overthrown"):

You: "would not offer peace terms"

1.

I already showed how she did back before the Dance even began when Aegon was the one to lose his cool and try to get her imprisoned and killed before hearing of any terms himself. Go back and read the given quotes. Rhaenyra, having to be consistent and firm as a leader, must stick to her own words even if she hadn't already hated her brother and wasn't trying to protect herself. Why the fuck would she offer peace terms after they were rejected and her life is on the line?!

2.

Regarding her refusal of Alicent's terms about dividing the realm...huh?

This is the quote, btw (Rhaenyra Triumphant):

In context with Aegon already rejecting Rhaenyra's terms way back not once, but TWICE!, why do you think Rhaenyra should have let him & Aemond off? Does Alicent only get to love and try to protect herself and her sons? Alicent the one to plunge said sons into this war by being so misogynistically out for more herself and her ambitions? (Again if this was another story with only someone like Alicent, I'd root for her more, but Rhaenyra as a queen is good to set that precedent of public female leadership being seen as valid for other female claimants and is thus the better option. Plus, the internalized misogyny is really too much with Alicent, both book & show. She is the sort of woman who'd supply the gas to help a man burn another woman alive if it got her wanted she thought was either male validation [show] or personal power and family prestige [book]).

Anon, you're both using straight-up lies, misinterpretations, and exaggerations--just like Fire and Blood's Dance account sources and writer-- to present a woman that much worse than she actually was. Thank you for being an example of blind misogyny twisting facts.

On Daemon

1.

You: "People called Daemon an anti-hero, and I am trying to recall when anti-heroes behead children, started wars for fun because they are bored, seduced their 14 years old nieces, screwed and raped virgin prostitutes, etc"

Posts about Daemon being a Character as Categorized as a Byronic Hero (which can often be a version of an anti-hero): #1, #2 (esp #2)

On Anti-Heroism: #1, #2, #3 (number 3 defines anti-heroism itself, but you can see how Daemon qualities as an "anti-villain"...which goes into GRRM making him a being of both light and dark, hated and loved)

When it comes to Daemon if we're looking at him as a character with a moral balance, he is a guy who grew up with patriarchal privilege (yes even with him being forced to marry like most young girls, he still can move about and wage wars and have an extramarital- premarital sex life without suffering shame or censure like noblewomen) and is mainly motivated by his love for his family. Pretty much it. That is his saving grace, not (just) the Nettles thing.

I have nothing to really say about Corlys apart from his: blaming Rhaenyra for Rhaneys death while Rhaenyra was recovering from a stillbirth; daring to cheat on Rhaenys for at least 2-3 years and having two other kids from this younger woman...after marrying an already way-too-young girl (16 to 37 at the time of marriage); his misogyny guiding the Rosby-Stokeworth decisions. Other than all that, I don't see what other sort of "snakiness" you refer to. Aegon needed killing.

You: "started wars for fun because they are bored"

The Stepstones was not just Daemon being bored. Corlys had been complaining about the Triarchy and its threat to his own ships and lands. And larger, the Triarchy and those who worked for them became a problem for Westerosi trade/merchants after high tolls (it's funny how we keep coming back to money, eh?) ("A Question of Succession").

No one was "bored". Daemon chose the right conflict to gather some military experience, military glory & honors (as is the feudal dream for men in general, look at Aemond!), and bide his time after he had been exiled again. Was it altruistic, no. Was it actually maliciously wasteful, also no. Very much like Rhaenyra's feast wasn't either of these things.

Speaking of Aemond, Aemond is a worse character concerning warfare and child killing bc the Strong genocide AND he refused to help his own brothers bc he wanted all the glory for himself...at a critical moment when they could have attacked KL together. He specifically called it a "craven" move to do this even though he was the one to suggest attacking KL to Cole! And again, compare it to the actual amoral selfishness of Aegon's feast to Luke's death.....Well, we got out parallels.

You need to stop lying to yourself.

3. You: "he was much more competent than Rhaenyra"

Did you somehow believe that most of the hype for him is how much "better" at politics he is, or just "better" (since you are so vague and I'm left assuming) than Rhaenyra?

Back to assumptions because of vague language, I assume that you mean that he was able to capture KL for her, and make the plans for ravens and diplomats sent out (forgetting that after she had stillborn Visenya out, she calmed down to "work"), and how he was able to take down Aemond. Anon, this is where the misogyny jumps out again, bc apparently to be a good ruler, you must learn how to fight and put yourself in the forefront of battle....but most noblewomen were actively barred or discouraged from military pursuits equal to men

AND

Rhaenyra knew her weakness concerning actually fighting, and I believe that this gets lost in all the "she's always been a bad candidate because she made dumb choices--she deserved to die and lose to Aegon, even!" bullshit. She called her council many times to get advice, so yes, it really is her own aristocratic blood purity and grief motivating her into making all the actual mistakes and sins she makes. I thought good leaders listened to their council?

AND

what is so wrong with a ruler not putting themselves in danger like Aegon II did? The same Aegon who got put out of commission for nearly a whole year and is likely unable to have kids due to said injuries from Rook's Rest?! Do not put the very person whom your side is fighting for at risk! Minimize it as much a possible!

AND

Fighting and personal physical prowess--despite the idea of leadership--don't have to be a ruler's main strength. Think of Daeron I (not so versed in swordplay but known as one of the better Targ rulers). How though Maegor was very much the warrior and a determined king, was also very cruel and incurred the hatred of not just the Faith but several others in justified fear of him and it lead to his end. Aenys was weak not because he wasn't a warrior but because he gave in too much and didn't use his dragons and dragon riders for the sake of what he thought was conciliation and respecting his subjects' desires! To garner love and admiration!

Last....

If we compare her to Alicent, Alicent is a heavy-duty blood purist who never looked out for other women, even seized power from another woman entirely for herself and her house's patriarchal prestige and power. No matter who Rhaenyra was before King's Landing or after, Rhaenyra was "vulnerable" to this due to her gender's inequitable access to higher positions of power in Westeros. Rhaenyra was never a tyrant before King's Landing and the greens' usurpation.

*EDIT* (8/21/23):

THIS is a great post by @mononijikayu about medieval queens, female rulers, the history of how women in leadership positions were made and seen as threats to the very structure of social "order", and contextualizing Rhaenyra thru Empress Matilda. I didn't even know about Matilda's husband being comparable to Rhaneyra's Daemon! PLZ READ!!!!

Excerpt:

just as much, along with these fictitious portrayals, more lies are depicted. these women are considered vixens that cause havoc to men by shifting them into desires and danger. through the written word, we see how women are cast in roles of villains in men’s lives. it is because by their conclusive thoughts, women are the only creatures that are able to turn ‘good honorable men’ into despicable creatures who do shameful, deplorable acts for the sake of women’s pleasures.  it is within this narrative that ancient chroniclers declare that women were in fact the doom of men. if they were not able to control the dangers posed by the wiles of women, then the foundations of the mighty society they had built would be up in flames.  [...] as i mentioned, these factors of community are written down and preserved. and with that, the example of the ancients were the foundations by which medieval society built itself. the same concepts continued to cause the same issue within society and that was the exclusion of women from participating in the bigger picture of community and state, much so with governing states in their own right—without judgment or disapproval. 

[stardust-in-my-mind-blog]

interesting transition breakthrough?

From my experience with generational trauma, two of the rules I learned were that I would be abandoned or punished somehow for feeling - especially if my body or words expressed that feeling as clearly and directly as I could. Invalidation was always the response I was going to get if I didn't feel how others expected me to feel.

The second rule that my body wasn't my own. I was forced to show affection to people even if we weren't close. I was punished for expressing myself through fashion. My body was not my own, but something my parents owned and were able to do what they wanted with as payment for bringing me into the world and meeting my physical needs as they saw fit.

No needs and no emotions outside of their comfortable experience was allowed and the consequences were always painful when I stepped outside them.

It turned me into an excellent rebel.

I didn't respect anything they had or did, so part of me knew that as soon as I got out of that house the world was going to find me somewhere to belong. Or I'd find a little place to hide away until I could make my mark. No matter what, I'd be able to leave behind what didn't work for me.

My life has really reflected that. When things got rough, I got moving and I learned as much from the experience as I could. I could design an experience that honored me, my agency, my autonomy, and my body and feelings were mind to express with whatever passion I chose.

I never went too crazy, but I got some really good living in.

Having kids fucked me up again. I'm realizing that now. I can see where having kids threw me right back to where I was growing up. It looks different, but... I adapted to the situation in an unconsciously familiar way.

With each child, I literally shared my body with them. There were boundaries in terms of organs, sure, but then even those babies moved stuff around a lot. I was victim to suffer whatever they didn't like. I had to limit things I got to eat. Everyone got really inappropriate about being a judge of what I did because they saw my belly. I was never alone. As someone who grew up very lonely, it was nice. At the time I loved it. It was like having a friend that I was destined to love that I got to protect and talk to and sing to and knew they'd come out loving me. I got to take care of them, and I love taking care of people. It was the best. I see why I didn't mind switching literally everything about myself the moment I found out I had a surprise parasite in my body that would turn into a child I got to raise.

But I never... stopped thinking that my body belonged to them. For awhile it kind of did. It was hard, too, because I'm very sensitive and aware of my body at all times. It was painful and my bladder will never be the same. I literally panic if there isn't somewhere easy to pee because that's something I do very very frequently. I never got MY body back. I'm just still in the old circus tent we all used to share together. Or at least that's how I felt.

Maybe that's what this transition was for me. Slowly realizing that my body was mine again. It was hard, too... because when you literally share a body with someone the boundaries are hard to... adapt to. When they are infants until about third grade they require so much concentration and my hypervigilance is always on. The older ones are teaching me how to relax and not be ready to meet a need a moment's notice, or to co-create a plan that words for both of us, but I think I had to fully realize I was separate from them. That I wasn't... the primary source for their needs anymore.

I can see where the way I thought about being connected to them made it very easy for me to over-function. If it was for the kids I could justify pretty much any sacrifice, and most of those sacrifices were on my end. It just felt like investment into my legacy in a way. When we were a functional family it worked fine. When things got dysfunctional, I couldn't take all the burdens anymore, and everyone was used to me shouldering most things so... the falling apart just got faster I suppose.

I felt a lot of shame having to draw my energy back from my kids. I'd been a full time caretaker for a decade or so, and I... never had boundaries for them. I communicated clearly with them and explained things so we had a really trusting relationship. They never take more from me then they need. If they see I'm tried or struggling, they find an appropriate way to help. I always treated the house kind of like a ship in that way. Harmony and collaboration and finding a way to make it fun and play was the strategy.

It has not been that way with my partners. They wanted to apply arbitrary order to things, like Michael Scott in The Office. It was... it killed my intellect in a way. Nothing ever made sense and it was mostly based on their own insecurities and need for outside validation. It was infuriating.

Especially since both of them came from dysfunctional families. Neither of them could set boundaries with their extended families, and it's like they wanted to create a life where they followed the same patterns but it somehow didn't end up dysfunctional because they often deprived themselves of things instead of learning how to balance them. They also didn't want to face how much their childhood fucked them up and the anger they had at their parents.

So guess who got all that bullshit transfer energy?! Me, the woman who never got a chance to have autonomy. I didn't even know I was dying inside until things were so bad I was a shell of a person. Completely spent. No identity. Then I'd die in a way and come back with a vengeance to destroy what broke me.

Luckily I only had to go through the cycle twice. Wouldn't change it. I have to remind myself that I wouldn't change it so I don't get mad again.

So, now it's time to make different mistakes and learn new lessons. Gonna need some new writing material anyways. Since going to these places to sing karaoke and train my body and mind again who I am as a person and improve some talents and skills I've always innately had when it comes to socializing... it's been so fun to learn about myself and see how I improve as new awareness dawns on me. I used to have to have rituals so I could deal with the fear and anxiety of being around people. Sometimes I still do, but when I went to that new place to sing around people who not only accepted me but also encouraged me and admired my talents... yeah, I've never had that before. Every partner I lived with up until now hated my singing voice. They made remarks. They told me not to sing. One laughed at me when I wanted to join the choir.

And fuck those guys, I'm fucking good!

So what was the issue? Envy? Their own cowardice and dysfunction? Who knows. But it's fun sometimes to tell people at the bar that I went from singing in the shower to karaoke and yes, I do happen to have a talent with it. One that others didn't want to acknowledge, except my kids and a dear friend.

The process was not one I trusted or knew what I was doing. I just decided to start doing it one day. I wasn't in my way. There wasn't a right time. It just happened. It just unfolded. And I drove to my first three times literally shaking and trembling. I did the same on stage. And I just... kept going, even though everything was literally crashing in around me. Everything.

I'm proud of myself and this body that is mine. And all the shame and guilt I've had for existing in it and keeping agency of it and fighting for my autonomy was worth it. I still shy away from things, but I'm getting better at confrontation. I'm getting really good at saying no. My intellect is finally intellecting pretty consistently again. It's all going to be okay.

[pursuingconsonance]

Hi 👋, My name is Mohammad, and I’m reaching out in a moment of desperate need. I’m a father of three young children living in Gaza, and we are caught in the midst of a catastrophic war. Our home is no longer a safe haven, and the future here seems increasingly uncertain. 💔

I’ve launched a fundraising campaign with the goal of raising $40,000 to relocate my family to a safer place where my children can grow up in peace and have a chance at a brighter future.

Unfortunately, my previous fundraising efforts were abruptly halted when my account was terminated without explanation. However, I remain determined to keep fighting for my family’s safety and well-being. 🫶

If you could take a moment to read our story, consider donating, or simply share our campaign with others, it would make an incredible difference. Every act of kindness, no matter how small, brings us one step closer to safety and a new beginning. 🙏

Thank you for your time, compassion, and support. ❤️‍🩹

https://gofund.me/fd1faea2 🔗

This feels like either a) a potential scam that is attempting to capitalize on the very real suffering of those actually in Gaza for very selfish personal gain or b) some sort of bait to attempt to expose what you believe is my “internalized Islamophobia” by seeing if I, a Black woman, will still be willing to support your cause after an election proved that a large percentage of Muslim and Arab immigrants voted against my own safety in this country and therefore I must now be a heartless, genocidal maniac who never cared about Palestine in the first place. That ‘s not true at all but just like I don’t know you, you don’t know me so if me choosing to protect my peace for what I only hope to be the next four years (although who knows) makes me evil in your eyes, then so be it. I will survive the negative opinion of a stranger. Surviving a second Trump term will be much more difficult but that is my main focus right now. Call me selfish if that helps you. I know my heart and it is wounded so I am guarding it. Please do not come on my page and attempt to emotionally manipulate me for any reason. If this is real, then I wish you the best of luck but I am unable to support any additional causes outside of ensuring mine and my own family’s safety at this time.

[ere-the-sun-rises]

It is hard, and it can easily make you bitter and frustrated.

There's a weird balance to strike, because if they ask too much, they become invasive. "No, I'm not okay. I'm never okay, and you damn well know that. Stop asking me about it." But if they don't ask at all, it's isolating. "Oh, I guess I was right. They don't care that I'm in agony."

In my own experience, myself being in chronic pain and two of my other family members having chronic illnesses, there's a couple things that help alleviate this:

Epicurean hedonism. No, not joking. This philosophy aims to live a good life by avoiding pain and pursuing pleasure, but in a "sum total" lind of way as opposed to moment-to-moment.

Essentially, you avoid as much *unnecessary* pain as possible while engaging with things that make life better for you. But not all pain is bad and not all pleasure is good. For instance, attending physiotherapy may really suck, but overall your body will function and feel better; on the other hand, you can have a great time getting plastered, but the hangover the next morning isn't worth it.

In terms of illness, this also helps you learn to set limits. You assess what needs to be done in terms of a) can I actually accomplish this and b) are the costs of doing so worth the pain i'll be in? If the answer to either is no, then do not do the task, or get assistance to help you.

It also helps in setting personal limits and priorities. For example, if you suffer badly from fatigue, prioritizing getting 8 hours of sleep is paramount and everything else can be dealt with later because getting this sleep will minimize your pain now and overall.

For those struggling to will themselves to take medication, it also helps. Will you feel better taking it? Do the side effects outweigh the benefits? You're looking to be in as little pain/distress as you can - will/are these meds accomplishing that? If yes, then the pain of taking them is vastly outweighed by the pleasure/benefit of taking them.

The other step is parsing out what is "background radiation" pain and what is "oh, oh no" pain.

For instance, my entire body usually aches in some way and I lose dexterity in my hands. This is the "background radiation", a baseline of what you can reasonably expect yourself to deal with day-to-day. But when I've been writing for too long and my hands start a stabbing pain, I've passed the "oh no" threshold.

It's once you're over the "oh no" threshold that help is both wanted and helpful. Someone offering me advil will make me feel cared for and seen without being overbearing.

Obviously there are increasing levels of "oh no" that differ in severity and require different responses from your support system, but that's okay.

Last thing is to COMMUNICATE.

It's easy to get lost in our own misery sometimes, but we get good at dealing with it and sometimes it's hard to tell if we need help from the outside. Tell your support you need them if you do, even just for emotional/moral support.

Also, as uncomfortable as it is, you will have to tell new people in your life what's wrong and what your limits are. Not immediately, necessarily - you can get comfortable with them first, but you do need to tell them.

Remember, people don't know what you don't tell them.

And one very important caveat:

If you tell a loved one you need help/support and they ignore you on purpose, or they override/dismiss you about what you need, you will need to look for support elsewhere. I'm sorry, but if they will not take you seriously to start, they will not believe you in a crisis.

There is nuance to this - one person's mom telling them a walk around the block will help their depression may be offering genuine advice while another may be using it as a dismissive disparagement.

You know your loved ones best, so make a judgment call, but try not to be too reactionary to them until you're sure. After all, they need to take care of themselves too and it's not fair to punish someone genuinely attempting to help/offer solutions even when they're unhelpful or unwanted.

Some things you can do to make life more bearable, for mental or physical conditions (if you are autonomous enough to do so):

Routine. Daily routine is so, so helpful.

Shower every day or every-other day. Being clean will make you feel so much better.

Take your medication. Please.

Wash your bedding once a month. You don't realize how gross is can get and you forget how lovely a clean bed is.

Change clothes. Even if you're not leaving the house or doing anything, changing clothes has a similar effect to a clean body/bed.

Go outside, if possible. Walk around the block or to a park or sit in your backyard.

Open windows in your home whenever you can and get plants. The new air will refresh your living space and humans are biologically wired to need to see greenspace. (This is a big part of seasonal depression.) So get plants and put at least one in each room. Vines are particularly pretty and hardy (and cheap.)

Clean your living space if you can. Particularly your floors, kitchen and bathroom.

Fill up your space with colour. Bland spaces make you feel bland. If your space reflects you and your interests, it is more comfortable to be in generally and when recovering.

Stuffed animals. They're cute and make you feel good when you squeeze them. Especially Squishmallows (which are also washing machine safe!)

Don't deny yourself things you "should be better than" - take that advil, brace that knee, go to bed early, listen to that ocean white noise. You only accomplish amplifying your own pain and discomfort and the people who say you shouldn't need them won't respect you any more for having abstained.

I think… there's a certain part of the human brain that craves attention when we are suffering. Deep down, we all want people to take care of us when we feel sick. Like when we're kids and our parents would feed us and and dote on us. Especially when your parents were otherwise… not good to you, being ill was the one time you got positive attention and compassion.

With chronic pain and illness, you don't tune out that desire to be doted on and loved in times of suffering. You force yourself to ignore that need because you think it'll never be fulfilled by the people around you. Where's my mom to make me soup when I'm sick or check my temperature? Where's my friends to drop by just to see how I'm doing?

And I think I'm often caught between wanting support from the people around me and not wanting to feel like a burden. Then I avoid reaching out to get support and then feel resentment towards others for not giving me the support and attention I wanted deep down.

I'm not entirely blameless in my social frustrations related to my chronic pain, but I do think there's something to be said about how devastatingly isolating it can feel to be a person with chronic pain/disability/illness and know that you will never get your needs from others fully fulfilled to the extent you want. Learning to find that balance of tempering your expectations, fulfilling your own needs, and communicating to your support system what specifically you need. At least... I hope that's something I can learn as a skill over time.

A stable and proactive social support system is one of the most important things a chronically pained person can have, I think.

[6ofwandz]

The reality of codependency..

I find it interesting that I was always warned of the type of man that wouldn't allow me to have outside friends out of fear that it would mean I would have less time to serve him, the type that lived in fear of me developing outside influences and then waking up to the misery he forced me to live in while we were together, a man that would isolate me so severely from being able to be myself. I think when we imagine what it must be like to be in an domestically abusive relationship, it's so easy to think that it's just one way, that it can only be someone isolating us so severely that we have no friends, but I'm here to tell you that there is a very specific brand of abuser that will do everything in their power to consume so much of your brain space that after a while, in order to escape their grip, you will have to go to great lengths to sever their bond.

With my last partner, the abuse was far more insidious than my ex husband. My husband used to scream at me, make jokes about how much I talked and that he was never listening. My ex-boyfriend rarely screamed at me but spent every single day making me feel like if I wasn't constantly scanning the room or his messages for his mood that I would then have to pay for it later. He constantly encouraged me to get out and make friends but the moment I broke up with him he didn't want to leave me alone.

There's something so dark about a man who cannot be bothered to give you any amount of mental space to be alone, always making you feel like if you aren't monitoring his emotions for him then there would be consequences to pay, a suffering under his inability to control his own mood. It's downright exhausting because truth be told he spent the entirety of our relationship running from my affection and shutting me down whenever I tried to get close and the moment I would pull away he would come running and beg me to notice his suffering.

I had no comprehension that my codependency left the door wide open for all kinds of abuse to occur. I imagined that if a man was head over heels for you it would be this healthy obsession, this desire to always make sure you were tended to and taken care of. I believed that because he gave me things like my favorite candy when he returned home from the gas station, this meant that he loved me. I thought that his enjoyment when we went out and his desire to show me off to others was enough for me, that this is what it felt like to be in a healthy relationship. After we broke up is when I was finally able to comprehend that the reason he couldn't ever give me the kind of affection I needed was because he wasn't just obsessed with me because he loved who I am, he was obsessed with me because he wanted what I had; he wanted my light and couldn't figure out how to have it for himself.

While I'm sure there are some who are capable of being a little entranced by their partners and yet still able to maintain a level of healthy engagement, this was someone who desperately wanted to date me in high school and was over the moon that as adults he finally had the chance to sweep me off of my feet. The truth is, he had no comprehension of how to treat me because he had spent so long lusting over me, drooling in envy at the way I carried myself. When we reconnected and he admitted feelings he had been carrying for over a decade, it was hard not to get swept up in the emotion of it all, to not believe that maybe because this man had been desiring me for so long he had any comprehension on how to treat me. Unfortunately, I was wrong. While I had been in a ten year long term relationship, he had been galavanting around town exploring himself in a series of brief encounters with others. I was about to become his first long-term relationship.

I think there's something to be said about the appeal someone like that can have on a person. Something to be said about how I, at one point, felt like I was just a "girl" hoping to be noticed by someone who wanted to treat me right, in ways I had never experienced as a kid. He, on the other hand, saw someone he had been lusting over for decades and was so overwhelmed with the knowledge that he was finally presented with the chance at swooning me and he had no idea what he had to do to keep me. The problem was, he had no comprehension of how good I was for him and he wasn't ready for the blessing. The more I tried to emotionally pull him closer, the further he ran and the more mysterious he became. It got to the point that rather than be able to have a simple conversation with me about anything, he expected me to take the time to come up with questions he could answer about himself or us so that I might be presented with an opportunity to understand him better.

As the relationship continued, more and more of the responsibilities became mine, including taking the time to ponder if I felt like I was satisfied by remaining with him. He'd consistently tell me that he was interested in taking the time to regularly sit down and discuss where we were and what we needed moving forward as a couple, but then he would never actually take the initiative to sit down and ponder what he wanted or address the issues he felt existed between us. Soon it felt like it was my job and my job alone to be managing his emotions, finding the time for myself to cope with mine amidst his constant interruptions, all while acknowledging that I was incapable of actually having to a conversation with him about how I felt because he couldn't be be bothered to make the time for me. Every single time I desperately needed the space to be able to express how I felt, he would be drunk.

As time progressed, there became less and less time for me to have the chance to even think for myself. This was evident in how at the beginning of the relationship he had a full time job where he worked a decent amount of hours and brought home a good paycheck. After he lost his job (from drinking no doubt) he seemed perfectly content in working a part time job at the bar bringing home pitiful amounts of money that was left over from whatever he hadn't spent on drinking the night before. He started spending more and more time drinking during the day, constantly itching to go to the gas station and get himself another tall boy, always slurring his words and going somewhere emotionally that I had no way of getting to. He became more and more distant, continuously giving me just enough to keep my around, filling me up with empty promises in an attempt to get me to stick around when he knew it would be best if things ended.

The truth is, he didn't want to let go. I was comfortable. I was the person he had dreamed about for over a decade and finally got to fuck at night. I was something he had spent forever manifesting and when I finally arrived, ready to make a life and a future and a family with him he realized he was way outside of his league. He knew that I had already been working intensely on myself for four years and he hadn't even taken the time to sit with himself for a single second, yet he didn't let this stop him. He knew what he wanted and he did whatever it took to keep me around no matter how bad things got. The more time that progressed the more and more he found ways to keep himself around me and in my orbit to keep him afloat. He didn't love me, he loved the way my light make him feel warm. He couldn't care for me because he was too busy being so obsessed that he became envious of what I had. He fumbled the bag because he spent four years doing everything he wanted with me and to me without ever caring about the repercussions of his actions. The more I distanced myself from the pain he caused me, the more he did everything in his power to make sure that he took up my entire brain space until there was nothing left for me besides the ruins he had left in his wake.

[slytherbun]

wildflower

pairing: cedric diggory x hufflepuff!reader

summary: you weren't too sure what to think when a new eye candy transfers to hogwarts and becomes the new seeker of the hufflepuff's quidditch team but you realize in time that he is all of what you hoped for.

word count: 3.7k

tags: @specialagentsoftie

note: so this is all just a bunch fluff. i'm not sure how i feel about it in terms of cringey and hope y'all like it! figured i'd post this anyways either way though lol. i made up the way reader and cedric met at hogwarts so, it's non-canon from the movie.

another note: italics are flashbacks! :)

it was cold.

you could see everybody’s breath in the air outside and knew it was a crime to be out and about now with freezing and chilly weather.

the snow outside coated the ground by inches and the black coats zippered up and wrapped around you only helped so much. you were the type to freeze easily and the climate at hogwarts didn't help your situation at all.

minutes ago before you walked outside, you knocked on the door to his dorm after surveying the hufflepuff’s common room and noticed there weren't very many people around. and when cedric opened the door after you rapped on it a few times—he took in the view of your body wrapped around your blanket before pulling you into his room.

pathetically enough, you were shivering in the halls even with your mitten covered hands stuffed in the pockets of your coat. you weren't about to admit the doubled up socks on each of your feet either underneath the knee-length boots you wore today.

"are you cold?" cedric successfully taunted you when you reached your arm out of the pocket of your jacket and then under the blanket to slap his arm. he hissed and glared your way playfully while rubbing his arm dramatically.

you shrugged with a smirk on your lips and he plopped down onto his soft bed. “don’t get too comfortable.” he suggested when noticing you trying to sneakily get underneath his covers. 

“what i’d do for one of those thermal blankets the muggles use.” you sighed dreamingly while watching him walk towards his closet.

“imagine having a postal company deliver the package to hogwarts? dumbledore would have an aneurysm.” cedric replied and you couldn’t help yourself when imagining the scenario playing out in your mind. 

he turned to the side to admire your smile while you were a little distracted while pulling out a coat. then he closed the closet up and walked back over, holding it in your direction to offer an extra to put over your body. you gladly took it with a smile. "thanks ced."

cedric backed up a few steps and brushed a hand through his brunette hair. not being able to help himself he joked, “can’t have you walking around with your blanket wrapped around you. your height already makes you look so adorable.”

you got off from the bed when he exaggerated with your blanket in hand and scoffed. cedric bit his lip nervously while continuing to back up before he felt the wall pressed against him.

he rubbed the back of his nervously while you held the blanket up to his height and above your own head. “i’m just kidding.” he gulped before you took it and put it over his face.

when he tugged it down from his face he spotted you innocently standing by the door with his jacket around you. “i was going to leave it here anyway. just put it on the bed and i’ll come get it later after we get back.”

while you zippered it up you noticed this particular jacket was the one that you often saw him wearing before he ended up buying a new one for the upcoming winter that you were suffering in now.

and it was longer than the one you had previously put on about twenty minutes ago so, you couldn't argue with him on that steal.

"alright.” he laughed and added with a more serious tone. “oh and by the way—you don't need to thank me. you're my best friend, wildflower."

today was the first quidditch match of the season and you were sitting at the edge of your seat in anticipation. the hufflepuffs didn't score well last season and you were hoping they wouldn't come out with last place again for the year.

y/g/b/f (your girl best friend) sat down on the stands next to you with an umbrella in her hands. you turned and looked at it with a confused face. but she just smiled at your contemplating thoughts and looked up at the sky once before supplying you with an answer.

“well it looks bright now but i have a feeling it’ll rain later.” she always had a suspicion for when it was going to rain or snow and you never second guessed her because every single time she was right.

“did you know we’re having a new seeker play on the team today? i believe he’s going to be captain too if he plays his cards right this game.” she asked. you didn’t know that.

“wait is he the new guy everybody is talking about? i heard the rumors but you know how they are. i didn’t want to take it seriously until i saw it with my own eyes.” you stated and she nodded. 

“yeah he’s a transfer i think but i’m not too sure. his name is cedric diggory though.” after her reply, you glanced around the stands to see if anybody had diggory signs for the game but with no avail you sighed. before you could respond you felt a few droplets on your shoulder. 

your friend gave you a smart-ass grin and popped out the umbrella to hold it over the both of you. “guess we’ll see how good he is.” you mumbled before seeing the players come up to the playing area with their brooms.

butterbeer was pretty popular during the winter season. many students from school usually went and got some to help regulate their body temperature and keep warm.

everybody else must have gotten the same memo because you were inside the three broomsticks now for some butterbeer and it was crowded.

almost every table was filled with peers and that’s probably why you didn’t see many people in the school. with just one glance around the area, you could already tell the divided area’s of where each school was seated right away. 

your tables were to the left area, the slytherins must have come earlier because they grabbed the back ones, some of the ravenclaw’s were off to the right, while harry and the other gryffindor’s had the middle area.

cedric nudged your side to grab your attention and nodded towards the hufflepuff area. “want to grab us some seats and i’ll get the drinks?” he asked and you nodded. “sure, could you get me a snack too if you don’t mind?” 

he smiled and tucked his hands into the pockets of his jeans. “i suppose i could.” cedric walked away with a wink and you shook your head knowing he was just humoring you.

little did you know he already had planned to get you something else even before the two of you left the dorms. it had gotten to the point where asking him for little things hadn’t bothered you because you reciprocated all of the time.

but sometimes cedric would give you little excuses when it was your turn to pay, just so he could end up paying for whatever you guys were having or getting. he always spoiled you.

"ah the golden girl is here." hermione scoffed and watched you walk towards the hufflepuff area. your other best friend was seated already and started talking to you when you sat.

the brunette from the red colored house didn't particularly dislike you since you were always nice. sometimes you chatted with her while working on a project that you were paired for. then other times you gave her a soft smile when catching her eye while walking in the halls towards your next class.

she definitely couldn’t help but respect and admire you.

but the reason she didn’t put herself out there and try to befriend you was because you were one of the girls known in school for your smartness, quick reflexes, and witty attitude. 

when people from school talked about you and referred to you as the golden girl instead of your name most of the time—it wasn’t that you were golden per-say but the fact that it matched up perfectly with the school’s color that you sorted it.

hufflepuff was known for its represented yellow color.

and there’s no doubt about it that hermione was also known around the school. but, she felt it was for all of the wrong reasons. despite not having it any other way as one of harry's best friends, she wondered if not for him that in an alternate lifetime that she would be you. 

“why is she wearing cedrics jacket?” ron asked after following hermione’s stare. harry thumped him on the back of his head and then shook his own. “why does it matter?” the one with a thunderbolt on his forehead replied.

“well it is interesting, isn’t it?” the brunette said in defense of ron’s question. the one who didn’t seem curious at all took a sip of the butterbeer in front of him.

he licked his lips, thinking then replied to them with a response. “i mean it’s not our business but it is an odd find now that you pointed it out. maybe he’s just being friendly?”

“as if! cedric has had a crush on y/n since he met her. she’s just oblivious to it all,” she paused and tapped her chin. “—or is she?” ron gasped at her accusation but took a sip of his own drink before she could hear his outburst.

harry noticed her getting riled up once again and sighed. “well i don’t know what else to say. maybe you should just introduce yourself already and ask her instead of me.” he shrugged and hoped to end the conversation there.

you knew exactly who cedric diggory was when he swiftly passed by the hufflepuff area during the game. of course, he was wearing yellow. 

the game has been going on for a decent amount of time now and he was stacking up the scores on the quidditch board—easily passing by the score of the gryffindor’s team.

cedric was undoubtedly the new eye candy for the whole school with the gasps and ‘awes’ from the other girls sitting in the stand. your friend was so busy watching harry that she didn’t catch the commotion.

you didn’t really pay attention to him to get a good glance at his face so, you thought he was just another arrogant rich boy and rolled your eyes.

what you didn’t notice was the way it was like a slow-motion love at first sight situation for him when he went by. since it stopped raining through the middle of the game he was able to catch a quick view of you. 

the week wasn’t done yet so it was possible he’d be seeing more of you in another class he hadn’t had yet. and cedric hoped you were because he couldn’t help but look over in your direction throughout the game to catch another glimpse of your face.

it was still humid outside and you tried wiping your makeup a few minutes ago since it was under your eyes now, but you only smudged it further. your robe was drenched with your wavy and half-dried hair now lying down the back of it. 

but he didn’t care what you thought about yourself because he knew without a doubt that you were the prettiest girl there.

“cedric’s looking pretty good today.” y/g/b/f voiced for the first time today. you played with the napkin in your hand while trying to get a glimpse of cedric. 

“i don’t think you would know even if he was—since you spend all your time looking at harry.” cedric was up to the counter now waiting for your butterbeer and food.

“uh huh. don’t think i haven’t admired cedric before from afar though.” after a moment of not answering her, y/g/b/f noticed that you weren’t paying attention. you knew exactly what she was hinting towards.

cedric did look good.

his hair had that ‘just woken up’ style to it and he always managed to look even more attractive then he should have. the yellow scarf wrapped around his neck was the one that came with every hufflepuff’s supplied uniform clothing.

he usually wore it when you sat with him in potions on a chilly morning and you caught yourself wanting to take it off of him and wear it sometimes.

he always smelled good and it comforted you in ways a best friend shouldn’t have the ability to.

you seemed to have let your guard down and stared longer then you should have which confirmed what y/g/b/f already knew. “i knew it!” she chuckled and stated more loudly than the last comment to snap you out of the zoned out state you were in. 

“know what?” you asked while placing the napkin back down on your table.

cedric was reaching the table and you wanted the conversation to end quickly. you usually dragged out conversation topics like this so you had time to think of another one to distract her with. but, she always found a way to circle it back around again. 

you had to shut it down before he could hear, already knowing exactly what she wanted to talk about again.

“i’ll tell you later before our curfew.” y/g/b/f smirked and you sighed knowing she would in fact take the time out of her night to find you before bed. lucky you.

“hey y/g/b/f. how has your day been?” he asked your other friend while sitting down and placing your refreshments in front of you and then doing the same with his. 

she grinned at you then glanced over at him, “pretty good i guess if it wasn’t for this weather i would say great. how about you? and how’d you manage to get this one out?” she gestured towards you, causing you to roll your eyes. 

here we go again.

you were walking down the path back to the hogwarts dorms with y/g/b/f and some others. there was going to be a small celebration in the hufflepuff’s common room and other students were trying to hurry back without raising suspicions with any professors nearby.

“hey, i’ll be right back y/n/n. i see luna and i’m going to go ask her if she has a hair tie.” she said and pointed to the curly knots that she had on her shoulders.

you nodded and continued along the path while she walked over to the other side. it was quiet for a moment and you surveyed the peaceful area, a few feet over in the grass was a small patch of flowers.

you were about to take a quick look at them before feeling someone tap your shoulder. it was sudden and you couldn’t help but quickly move to the side and form a fist. you were about to throw it but stopped when you stared wide-eyed at the person who scared you.

cedric felt awful and only after he startled you did he realize that you were looking off in the distance of the area. the way you jumped though seemed that you were quick on your feet and he couldn’t help but smirk at the new name he had for you. 

“hey i’m sorry for startling you wildflower but i just wanted to introduce myself. i’m cedric diggory.” he introduced with a panty-dropping smile.

you weren’t sure if it was some kind of joke so you treaded carefully. “uh it’s okay, it’s my fault really for not paying attention but i’m y/n y/l/n. nice to meet you ced.”

cedric held out his hand for you to shake and you took it, giving him a firm shake. after you let go he smirked and questioned. “ced, huh?”

he crouched down to pick up a flower that you were looking at earlier and it reminded you to ask, “wildflower, huh?” you met his statement equally and folded your arms together so they were across your chest to look more tough.

his cheeks tinted a minor shade of pink and tried to hide his embarrassment by ducking down and ignoring your question. instead he glanced back up to tuck a hair behind your ear and then placed the flower there.

“yes, wildflower.” 

and how could you argue with him when he was being so sweet?

the two of you made it back to the common room after an hour of eating, then chatting with cedric and your other best friend. he was sitting on the bed with you sitting next to him.

you’ve been sitting for only about a minute or so—only enough time to shrug off your jackets and place them on the desk chair between that time after walking back to his dorm.

“would you like to lay down for a few minutes?” cedric asked when he noticed the tiredness shown clear as day on your face.

“sure” you agreed and you laid down while he shook your blanket out for the two of you to use. his eyebrows scrunched together when he realized it wouldn’t make much of a difference in comfort with how small it was.

you chuckled watching him trying to maneuver it around and he glanced your way with a smirk of defeat. “hmm, seems this blanket is a little small. would you like to go under the covers?”

cedric was giving into what you wanted earlier before the two of you left and he knew that too. the three broomsticks' food was delicious as always and you just wanted to relax for a few minutes after getting teased by your friend.

he grinned watching you get comfortable after the both of you were situated under the sheets and yellow comforter. there was a hufflepuff patch ironed onto it and you rubbed your thumb over it while laying down.

it wasn’t that awkward since you’ve fallen asleep in his arms a couple of times before already. class exams were frustrating and took a lot out of the students so he took comfort in you and vice versa when there was some down time during the weekends throughout the school year.

with an arm around you—he pulled you close to the point where you could feel his warm breath along your neck. “i don’t think you realize how much i treasure these moments y/n/n.”

he spoke breathlessly and you gulped slowly. you were dumbfounded with how seriously he said that. as if it had some kind of hidden meaning behind it. “me too.” you agreed and wondered if he would leave it at that.

but you knew better and cedric never left well alone when he wanted to get a point across. he turned your body slowly with the arm he had around your middle and you faced him with confusion.

he glanced down once before looking back up and continued on with his confession while staring into your doe eyes—a color he deemed his favorite the day that he met you.

“i’ve been fighting myself for a while on whether or not i should tell you this because i didn’t want my feelings to ruin our friendship. i’d rather be your friend than not be a part of your life at all. and i always look forward to seeing you e-everyday.” he paused when his voice cracked.

after cedric cleared his throat he continued, “and i totally understand if you don’t share the same feelings with me but i just couldn’t go on another day without telling you how i—” you cut him off by leaning in and brushing your lips against his.

he moved closer on the bed, so his skin was touching yours. cedric wanted to get as close to you as he possibly could. your hand swept through his brunette curls and you surprised him by tugging it.

he never knew what you were going to do and his friends teased him that you were a wildcard, to which he’d correct them and say you were his wildflower.

cedric smirked into the kiss and you groaned knowing he was being a smart-ass. but in return, he shocked you when he placed a hand delicately on your cheek to cup it rather softly.

he rubbed your cheek while your hand massaged his curls and then moved them downwards to the nape of his neck.

cedric pushed the hair back from your neck with his hand and then placed it back so his thumb splayed across on your cheek in a loving gesture. and you only wanted him closer after feeling sensitive about the whole astonishment that still had you stunned to the core.

you tugged the collar of his shirt and he pulled away with puffy, red lips and a smile. “what’s wrong?”

“i don’t know, i’m just emotional.” you voiced squeakily and full of embarrassment about it. cedric shook his head and before patting his chest, he held up the comforter over the both of you and let the minimal cold air in.

“oh, baby it’s okay. come here and let's cuddle a little before curfew.”

you bit the bottom of your lip and nodded, giving him a smile in return to the one he gave you and then crawled onto him. “i think i like baby better.” you voiced and laid on his chest with your head over his heartbeat.

he let go of the comforter when he noticed you were settled and tugged it firmly around both of your bodies. “better then what?” he asked.

“wildflower.” you admitted and hummed nervously while awaiting his response. you felt cedric shake his head and he put his arms around your body so you were pressed firmly against him before he kissed your forehead.

“you’ll always be my wildflower.” you closed your eyes after giving him a quick kiss on the cheek in response.

after a moment of laying back down you could feel his chest rising up and down in an odd pattern so, you put your head up to see him laughing again at you.

“what now?” you questioned trying to keep a serious facial expression but failing when he grinned.

“guess you got what you wanted, hmm?” cedric said—referring to the fact that you were finally under the comforters and you smirked.

“of course i always do. including finally getting you, ced.”

[jedibongrip]

title: obedience starts in the bedroom pairing: anakin/obi-wan tags: a/b/o, service top, alpha obi-wan, omega anakin, rimming full list of tags available on AO3

summary Obi-Wan lets Anakin have control in the bedroom and just about every other aspect of life.

for the @obikin-events bingo event, prompt: service top

Obi-Wan meditates outside of Anakin’s door for a good, long while before entering. Trying to get accustomed to the scent, he tells himself, though it has already pervaded every nook and cranny of their quarters days ago. Trying to get, and maintain, a hold on his instincts, the desire to barge in, to claim, to mount without thought or consideration, is the second reason he cites to himself. Mostly, he knows, he’s trying to come to terms with the curl of guilt wriggling in his stomach.

He needs to help his padawan through his heat. He knows this. But he also knows that his padawan hasn’t been intimate with anyone else before. Obi-Wan always found it surprising. Anakin is, of course, a beautiful young man. Though he presented a bit late – only going through his first presentation heat at sixteen, and his cycle being erratic in the months and years that followed - not many people Anakin’s age care too much about issues like that. Obi-Wan certainly didn’t, at his age. And yet, every time he asked, wanting to make sure his padawan was safe, Anakin would blush, mumble something about ‘not wanting to waste it’ on people he didn’t care about.

Now, Obi-Wan will have to take it anyway. He knows there’s little choice. Anakin’s heat is far exceeding what is considered safe. His previous heats had been much milder, only lasting three to four days, only leaving him bedroom bound for half the length. He may have been clingy, wanting attention, and for Obi-Wan to dote on him, but he certainly did not need his assistance in satiating himself.

But, this time, his heat is already on day eight. He has not left their quarters since day two, and he has barely left his bedroom since day four. Obi-Wan has awoken all hours of the night due to Anakin’s groans – in pain and pleasure – and with jolts of unfulfilled desire through their bond. He called as many healers as he could and all have said the same thing. Anakin needs an alpha to end this heat. It’s either that or attempting to regulate his hormones intravenously, a risky and imprecise measure, best left to the last resort.

A moan jolts Obi-Wan from his thoughts and he takes a deep breath, letting the scent of slick and desert rain settle on his tongue. He stands and keys the entry to Anakin’s door. He will not let his padawan suffer needlessly, either by letting this wretched heat continue or by harming him in mating.

The scene that greets him is one of debauchery. If he thought the scent of an unfulfilled heat outside the room was strong, inside is absolutely pungent. The sheets and blankets on Anakin’s bed have been pushed side, hanging off the bed and tangled on the floor. Anakin turns his head towards the door – attracted either by the sound or the smell of aroused alpha – and blinks. His skin is red and flushed like he’s been lounging in the sun for too long. Sweat is visible on every inch of his skin, making him glisten in the light from the doorway and coming through the cracks in his blinds. Various toys are strewn around him, some still shining with slick, though Obi-Wan knows Anakin has not felt satisfied in days.

Anakin lets out a whine when he sees Obi-Wan, rolling onto his stomach, struggling to his knees, and reaching for him.

���Obi-Wan, Master,” he mewls. His eyes are wet, tears almost spilling over. “It’s- it’s so, it’s too much!”

Obi-Wan swallows, stepping forward, shedding his topmost layer. “I know, darling, I know. I’m, I’ll do my best to help you.”

Anakin lets out a thankful sob when Obi-Wan puts a tentative hand on his back. His skin is so warm and he arches up to the touch. Obi-Wan has to choke back a growl when he realizes that Anakin is almost in a presenting position. No, he won’t be one of those alphas. One who pushes their mate's head down and just takes. Anakin deserves better than that.

Obi-Wan quickly pushes down his pants and underwear as Anakin mewls at the loss of contact. He sniffles and tries to glance back when Obi-Wan kneels behind him, just to get a look.

“Oh, darling,” he says. Anakin’s hole is wet and raw. It gapes a bit from days of constant stimulation. Anakin lets out another whine and tenses his muscles as he tries to get into a more comfortable position, making his hole wink at him. “You certainly did a number on yourself.”

“It wasn’t enough,” Anakin says, hand reaching back for Obi-Wan. He grants the omega his hand to squeeze. “Nothing- nothing was enough, it was just so empty and hot.”

“Don’t work yourself up about it,” Obi-Wan says, leaning down to press a kiss to Anakin’s lower back. Anakin lets out a shuttering gasp when he feels the brush of lips on his skin, oversensitive as he is. Obi-Wan intended the gesture to be momentary but at the sound, he finds he can’t move away. He mouths where Anakin’s spine meets his bottom. “I’m here now. Alpha will fix it.”

Another whine escapes Anakin’s chest. “Always, always fixing it, Alpha, thank you thank you thank you.”

He devolves into mumbles as he presses his face further into his mattress, ass arching further into the air. His padawan is so slick – from sweat and cum – and his hole just looks so greedy and wanting.  Obi-Wan can’t help himself. He leans forward again and gives the hole a broad lick. Anakin just about screams.

“Oh, Obi-Wan,” he sobs. “More, more, more, more.”

“Needy little thing,” Obi-Wan mutters, though he obeys Anakin’s demands. Another lick across the hole, lapping away the sweat and sweet slick. Anakin clenches around him. “So sweet, darling, you’re so sweet.”

Anakin shutters under his tongue, letting out a keening whine, and Obi-Wan belatedly realizes that he came. So focused was he on the delectable taste, the heat under his lips, that he missed out on seeing him brought to completion. It was so fast. Obi-Wan realizes that Anakin must have truly been desperate, feeling so unfulfilled these past few days. It makes him growl, lifting away from Anakin, and bringing his hips closer. He grinds against Anakin’s ass, groaning at the hot, wet slide against his aching cock. Anakin moans with him, canting his hips, trying to entice him in. As if fucking Anakin would be a hardship. As if he needs further convincing. It’s that thought that makes him pause, mid-thrust against Anakin.

Obi-Wan thought he had more self-control than this - than rutting against Anakin like a mindless animal, giving in, fucking him without a second thought to Anakin’s comfort or pleasure. Anakin deserves better than this. He deserves to be treated better than some sex doll, some mindless hole for alpha’s to chase their own pleasure with.

Anakin lets out a questioning whine when he realizes that Obi-Wan has stopped moving. He strains to turn his head, looking at him with tearful eyes, “Obi?”

Obi-Wan takes a moment, centers himself, and leans down to press a kiss against Anakin’s shoulder blade. “It’s alright, darling. We’re just going to change positions.”

“Change?” Anakin lets out a confused sound when Obi-Wan lays down next to him, pushing various sex toys out of the way to make room. With gentle hands, he guides Anakin until he’s straddling Obi-Wan’s hips. His cock, hard and dripping with precum, leans against Anakin’s thigh. Obi-Wan clenches his teeth at the sight.

“See, dear one, just a change of position.” He grasps Anakin’s hips, helping him lift himself on shaking legs. Anakin’s slender hands tentatively grip Obi-Wan’s dick, gently pumping it as he straightens it beneath him. “This way you’re in control.”

“I’m in control?” Anakin’s voice comes out slurred, drunk on heat and lust, as he positions himself above Obi-Wan.

Obi-Wan swallows. “Of course, you’re in control, Anakin.”

Anakin purrs and sinks down onto Obi-Wan. The slide is easy, Anakin loosened from days of fucking himself. His hole is so hot and slick that for a moment Obi-Wan is afraid he’ll embarrass himself and come far too early. He grinds his teeth, fighting to find his self-control.

Anakin keeps letting out little moans and gasps, as he shakily lowers himself further. When he bottoms out, pressed so close to Obi-Wan’s hips, he lets out a cry, immediately grinding back and forth. Obi-Wan tightens his hold on his sharp hips.

“Is that good, darling?” Obi-Wan’s voice is already wrecked. Anakin gives a jerky nod, mouth falling open, sounds of pleasure spilling out. His hands keep skirting up and down his body. Obi-Wan watches as Anakin brings his hands to his nipples, pinching them and cupping his chest, leaving scratch marks across his stomach as they make the journey. “Good boy, Anakin, good boy. Take what you need.”

Anakin cries at the praise, head dropping forward. He goes from grinding to lifting himself up a few inches and dropping down. The motion is without finesse, though it feels great to both of them, as eager and needy as they are. Anakin’s padawan braid dances with each movement. Obi-Wan reaches up to tuck it behind Anakin’s ear, preventing it from hitting him in the face any further. Anakin leans into his hand.

“Master, Master, Master,” he mumbles into Obi-Wan’s wrist, still bouncing on his cock. “So good, Master, perfect alpha, so perfect for me.”

Obi-Wan’s grip on his control slips at the praise and he thrusts harshly up, punching a gasp out of Anakin. He leans forward, burrowing his face into Obi-Wan’s neck. “Again, again, please, Alpha, do it again.”

Obi-Wan will do anything for Anakin right now, so he holds his omega’s slender hips, fumbling for a moment to bend his knees and get some leverage, and pounds up into him. It’s not the most comfortable position for him, but he can hear all of Anakin’s little moans against his skin, can feel his stiff nipples against his chest, the wet spurts coming out of Anakin’s oversensitive cock. It feels like if heaven caused mscle strain.  

Occasionally, Anakin will try to start a pace of his own. Lifting or grinding his hips, Obi-Wan’s hands not so much guiding his movements as just supporting them. Anakin seems to like it, if his murmured curses and strings of, “so good, Obi-Wan, so good, Alpha, want more, please please please,” are anything to go by. It makes something in Obi-Wan’s chest purr, and curl with contentment and pleasure, knowing that he’s taking care of his omega as no one else can. He wraps a hand around Anakin’s cock, a sweet little thing, clearly oversensitive. Anakin lets out a little cry as Obi-Wan ghosts his fingers over it, giving it just the lightest pressure to rut against.

Anakin shudders as he comes again, clenching around Obi-Wan’s cock, yet he doesn’t stop his pace. He’s too worked up, too desperate from days spent alone to stop just yet. But the sensation is getting too much, the scent cloying and intoxicating, the visuals too beautiful. Obi-Wan can hardly stand it.

“Anakin,” he gasps, “Anakin, I’m going to come, going to knot you.”

Anakin makes a crying sound. “Master, not yet.” So needy. Anakin sits up, head thrown back in pleasure, as he bounces and writhes some more. Obi-Wan doesn’t know how Anakin expects him to hold on when he’s such a lovely sight. When he’s making such a mess all over Obi-Wan, as he clenches and grinds and drips all over him.

But he does expect it, somehow, and Obi-Wan won’t disappoint him during his first time. It almost pains him to close his eyes, blocking out the heavenly sight, if only to reign his control in once more. He thrusts his hips up with more vigour, milking sweet moans from Anakin’s lips, as he tries to get his padawan to come once more.

Thankfully, it’s only a few minutes longer before Anakin is whining again, panting out Obi-Wan’s name, begging for something more. Who is Obi-Wan to refuse such a thing from his padawan?

Anakin clenches around him again, painting his stomach once more with watery ropes of cum, and finally, Obi-Wan comes. Thrusting once more into the delicious heat, he moans, hips twitching as his knot swells. Anakin practically collapses on him, pressing sloppy kisses to his jaw as he gasps at the feeling. It’s the best that Obi-Wan has ever felt, covered in sweat and slick and come, blanketed by the thick scent of heat and need. Anakin draped over him, licking at his neck and jaw, purring every time another burst of come is released inside him. Obi-Wan presses a kiss to Anakin’s cheek. He’s certain that this little tryst has broken Anakin’s hellish heat, but, perhaps, they can have another round or two before he’s fully come down.

By the way that he tightens, experimentally, around the still swollen, sensitive knot, Obi-Wan thinks that might be in the cards.

When Obi-Wan was a padawan, still coming into his own scent after presentation, he and Master Jinn were on a diplomatic trip to a planet that had growing tensions with other colonies in its system. The trip was a standard affair, really, most planets at the time liked to ogle at the Jedi that came to help them, and used them as a show of good faith during negotiations. Obi-Wan learned very little and Master Jinn was plenty bored. What Obi-Wan does remember was how all the omegas he saw were so demure. Kneeling by their alpha’s feed or sitting on their laps, or occasionally, sitting head bowed in chairs. They wore beautiful silks and jewels, thick metal collars around their necks, and most looked for permission before speaking.

A local politician took Obi-Wan’s stares of discomfort as looks of interest. She guffawed, patted him on the back, and joked that he was a little too young to settle down yet.

“Spend a few more years treading the waters yet, before you really take the dive,” she joked. Obi-Wan gave him a strained smile, but the alpha persisted. “If all goes well, perhaps we can round up a few ‘volunteers’ to thank you and your Jedi master for your services, hm?”

Obi-Wan was steadfast in his refusal, though he did try to be polite. It would be no good to anger their hosts, even if he did find their ‘ways’ distasteful.

The talks went well, and at the end of it, before they left, the same politician found Obi-Wan once again at a goodbye dinner. Tipsy on her planet’s liquor, sweet and tangy with a smoky aftertaste, she tried to take him under her wing, telling him how to handle his future mate.

“Let me tell you this: you look at our omegas, wonder how they behave so well, yes?” She nodded towards her own mates, waiting patiently across the room, smiling serenely, right where she left them. “The secret is, of course, that obedience starts in the bedroom. That’s all it is, my little alpha, it starts and ends in the bedroom. They are wonderful and simple things, really, our darlings. Too tough and they wilt, too lenient and they are aimless. Yes, you need a firm hand when it comes to their pleasure, and they will bloom beautifully.”

Flying back to the temple had been miserable, his head pounding and stomach churning, the consequence of Obi-Wan trying to get drunk enough to forget the uncomfortable conversation, though it managed to stick with him. He disagreed with the philosophy, on principle. But over the years, he did wonder if there was some truth to one aspect of what the older alpha had said.

Anakin, as wonderful as he was, as sweet as he was, as loving as he was, could never be considered obedient. Obi-Wan loved him for it, even if it drove him insane. Even when it made his life very, very difficult.

He knows that Anakin has always been this way, long before he presented, and long before they started this… thing between them. But after his Knighting, it feels so much more intense, like Anakin wakes up every morning and asks himself, “How best to give my alpha grey hairs today?”

Obi-Wan is forced to wonder if perhaps that politician was right, in only a few, extremely select aspects. Perhaps if he had a firmer hand in the bedroom, if he made Anakin wait, or beg prettily, or even just ask permission,  maybe he would behave better in his other duties. Of course, Obi-Wan only thinks of these things after he’s let Anakin drag him into his room, pushed him to his knees, demanding that his alpha eat him out.

“We don’t have time to fuck,” Anakin says with a pout, stripping himself of clothes. He sits on the edge of the bed, drawing his legs up. His mech hand looks so pretty, metal glinting against his tanned skin, digging into his thighs as he pulls his legs wide. “Come on, Master. Lick me.”

Anakin’s cock is hard, his hole is glistening, and he is utterly beautiful. He must have been wet for hours, waiting for a lull in their strategies meetings for this. It’s vaguely humiliating, shuffling the last few feet forward on his knees to reach his omega. Anakin lets out a purr once Obi-Wan is close enough that his breath warms his hole. He leans forward and presses a sloppy kiss against it, flavour coating his tongue. Anakin groans and cants his hips.

“Fuck, that’s it, Obi-Wan.” His breath hitches as Obi-Wan licks in with more vigour. Anakin wasn’t wrong when he said they didn’t have much time. Surely, even without Obi-Wan knotting him, they’ll be late to return to the meeting. But that concern seems so distant when Obi-Wan is busy taking care of his omega. When his omega is crooning so sweetly under his tongue. He reaches up to gently stroke Anakin’s cock, earning a moan as a reward. Anakin is already so wound up and Obi-Wan is an old hand at getting his former padawan off. His own cock aches and throbs in his pants, growing harder with every wave of slick and every appreciative moan. Maybe, if he’s quick enough, he’ll have enough time to fuck Anakin’s thighs before cleaning up. They’ll still be late, of course, but at least he won’t be at risk of knotting his undergarments in front of other generals.

With that thought, he licks even deeper into Anakin’s hole and slides two fingers in to fuck him. Anakin’s thighs are trembling, Obi-Wan can feel them from where they’ve begun to rest on his shoulders. Anakin’s praises and cries for moan are deafened by Obi-Wan’s own need, his own desire to feel Anakin clench around his tongue and finger, to know that he’s taken care of his omega in the most carnal way. Despite it all, Obi-Wan is only an alpha, driven by his need to provide.

The sweet melody of moans comes to a peak when Anakin comes, cock jumping in Obi-Wan’s hand, slick gushing from his hole. Obi-Wan presses gentle kisses against his thighs as he pulls back.

“I’m so sticky,” Anakin pants out. He can’t see it, but Obi-Wan knows Anakin’s nose is scrunched up in displeasure. Obi-Wan struggles to his feet, doing his best to untie his pants without getting any spend on them. He fumbles until he pushes his pants down, cock hard and red and dripping. Anakin eyes it with a teasing pout. “That’ll make me stickier, Alpha.”

“Anakin, please.” It comes out as almost a gasp as he finally touches his dick, pre-come dribbling out at the slightest sensation. He shuffles closer to rub against Anakin’s flaccid cock, slick and come easing the glide.

“We’ll be late,” Anakin teases. He brings his legs together, thighs tightening around Obi-Wan’s cock.

“Since when did you care about being punctual,” Obi-Wan huffs out, drawing his hips back to fuck into the plush corridor of flesh. His omega is so good for him, reaching up to hold his legs together.

Anakin hums. "I only care when you don't." He laughs when Obi-Wan is too lost between his legs, humping away like a beast, to reply.

It takes an embarrassingly short time for Obi-Wan to come, painting the rest of Anakin’s chest white. Anakin quickly parts his legs, robbing Obi-Wan of warmth and pleasure, but he knows it’s only so that he doesn’t form a knot. Still, the teasing grin that Anakin gives as Obi-Wan whines feels a little cruel.

“Can you get me a towel from the ‘fresher, baby?” Anakin asks once Obi-Wan has regained his breath. “I don’t wanna drip everywhere.”

Obi-Wan rolls his eyes, knowing that Anakin has never cared about mess a day in his life. Still, he pushes away from the bed on shaky legs to retrieve a damp towel. If they hurry to clean and redress, they'll only be a few minutes late.

Anakin draws him into a kiss before they leave the room, deep and loving, filled with longing from weeks apart. They are more than a few minutes late for their meeting.

(“So spoiled,” Obi-Wan will mutter against his lips later. “How did you get to be such a spoiled little thing?”

“You should know, you’re the one that spoils me,” Anakin mutters back, eyes alight with mirth and love. “Now, are you going to let me fuck you or not?”

Obi-Wan is already stretched open and wanting. Of course he’ll spoil him again. They can work on the obedience thing later.)

[dufferpuffer]

I do a reasonably concise but still long mini review of HP movies - and rank them B^)

The first two movies, while they change things, do beautifully well in capturing the tone of the books and getting through most of the needed information. The changes that are made are generally tasteful and just like... they were aiming to make fun children's adventures and they succeeded. GOOD movies. I'd consider them pretty much interchangeable with the books. If someone said "I watched the first two movies and then read from there' - fair enough. They haven't missed out on much and have gained a rich, vibrant mental image of the Wizarding World.

PoA gets a little sketchier with the changes, but I do think they were done with good tone in mind. Mostly tasteful. It's hard to dislike PoA movie because it is so wintery cozy and simplifies a lot of the more dull book sections. I think people should probably read PoA even if they have seen the movie, but if they REALLY didn't want to... eh. Doesn't help that PoA the book can be a bit of a slog at times.

GoF is where shit drops off. I can't make sense of a lot of the changes - it harms the tone and the narrative. GoF might be my favourite book in the series, and basically none of the splendor, mystery or tension translated into the movie at all. GoF has a LOT of characters, new and old, juggling keeping the magical splendor and whimsy high while heating up the tone of the series shifting... The movie does none of that. The characters are jokes and the tone is dulled to a murky middle-ground. The humor taken out and the tension neutered. BUT - at LEAST Cedrics death actually has an emotional impact. They managed to scrape through at least that much.

OotP didn't manage that. As stand-alone movies, OotP and HBP are both well done. I think the way they trim the stories down into a much smaller package but still have them be engaging is pretty elegant. If I were to walk into a cinema without knowing all that much about Harry Potter and I watched OotP OR HBP... I would follow along and enjoy them. I think they are both good movies. But only alone. As soon as you put them in the context of not just being fun by themselves, but having to carry characters through a greater narrative series - fuck they're awful. Hollow. Like reading a blurb. OotP makes Umbridge a WONDERFUL villain, but the greater cast outside of Harry suffers. Hell, even Harry suffers - his personal emotional arc just feels flat. And then Sirius' death at the end - even as a surprise it's about as impactful as a moth flying into you. If ANY movie should have been split into two, its OotP. It needed time for its many characters to breathe - and would be the easiest movie to ADD extra scenes into in order to make sure we are learning to LOVE all these people outside of Harry's school circle. That being said... most of it is a fun enough casual watch if you turn your brain off. Umbridge is a DELIGHT. Sirius' hugs look warm in a 'desperate for viewers to grow attached to him before he dies' way. HBP is in a similar boat in terms of having its beating heart gutted - but it does a much better job of telling some of the important parts of the story, and is emotionally impactful where it needs to be. It's a movie I's most consider watching again casually, as a fun ride on its own... but it is still infuriating.

I watched the DH movies more recently and honestly I didn't dislike them as much as I thought I would... but I can't remember them well either, outside of some key scenes. Same with the book TBH. What I remember is feeling amazed that despite splitting it over two movies they STILL managed to fuck up almost everything. Very odd decisions... like they were just making it out of duty rather than any sense of love or care. I do think Dobby and Severus' death scenes were pretty good. I liked the brutality of them. I always thought Nagini's cage was a silly image, so having her SAVAGE Severus like that was awesome. Severus' memories convey to the movie audience what it needed to well enough, though the child actors were awful visual matches. Dobby's added lines were really good. I cried. I will never forgive how they let David Threwlis look so CRUMPLED when Remus was dead I cannot look at it without my heart clenching. So I suppose that was done well.

~~~

It's not that the Movies are 'good if you ignore the books' - for the most part they don't even work in series with each other. For that, as a series, I don't 'like' them... even if for the most part I love the actor choices and the visual design. I LOOOOVE most of the visual design POA onwards, the grounded colourful whimsy mixed seamlessly with dark academia is just delicious. I think that's something a lot of HP media hasn't captured since: leaning too pure-whimsical for me, like the first couple of movies. (which I don't mind it in because they're fun kids adventures. It fits the tone and is well put together.)

If I were to rank them... PS and CS = Could replace the books. Probs shouldn't. PoA = Made with care, but not quite enough. HBP = A ripping yarn. Whats a 'book'...? OotP = Fun ride, but when you sober up the rage will return. DH1+2 and GoF = They do some scenes really well but are murky messes that miss too much. Dead Remus is upsettingly crumpled, burned slice of toast, it is so tragic looking I'm going to throw up from heartbreak

Out of curiosity, how do we feel about the main HP movies? I feel like I’m one of the only people who straight up doesn’t like them (they have cool stuff, I have nothing against most of the actors, etc.).

I just feel like they fuck up the characters too much and have created such wild misconceptions about them. And more but thats basically my thoughts

I’d like to hear what other people think about them! Esp in relation to the books, I mean, cause it feels pretty easy to say “well they’re good movies when you don’t consider the books” (I agree )

[platonic-prompts]

God you got to love the people who are like 'well actully its a 100% still ableist" and then proceed to tell you the word you're using isn't applicable to the diagnosis at all because its a 'forensic term'

No, its fucking not, it is also a diagnosis, just not one out of the DMS-V. And to be fair, there's debate over whether or not psychopathy is part of ASPD or is a separate diagnosis. But because i doubt the person has any reading comprehension (Because the last part of the post literally talked about how we shouldnt judge people based on a diagnosis) im going to spell this out

ASPD symptoms

disregarding the law

being deceitful

acting impulsively or being incapable of planning

being irritable and aggressive

disregarding safety

being consistently irresponsible

having a lack of remorse

Psychopathy has overlap with this, yes, but autism and ADHD have overlap and they're not the same thing. Additionally ones for psychopathy

lack of empathy

arrogance

charisma

excessive vanity

lack of guilt

difficulty processing other people’s facial expressions

goal-oriented behavior

insensitivity to punishment

Also, in case you haven't noticed, a lot of these things kinda line up to hm...make them more likely to be abusive to people? Huh, its almost like thats a key feature in cluster b personality disorders. and its almost like sociopathy and psychopathy are disorders that make people outside of the person suffer. It's not like autism or ADHD or OCD or OCPD (OCPD is Obsessive-Compulsive Personality disorder and its the whole 'i need everything to be perfectly lined up' thing) where the person who has it is the one who has to deal with everything from it. There's a reason people use Eric Cartman as an example when they talk about sociopaths/psychopaths in media, because he is one. You can't just pretend that everyone who has the disorder is all sunshine and rainbows, because to even get the diagnosis in the first place you have to have a history of doing shitty things. (i believe back to age fifteen if you get it when you hit eighteen) So by nature of the diagnosis in and of itself, the person can't be the next coming of christ. (And yes, there was a post about how saying all people with ASPD have done bad things is ableist, no its a characteristic of the diagnosis.)

ALSO, the DSM is not the 'oh you need to read it' that you think it is. the DSM-V pretty much didn't change anything in its inclusion of Personality disorders, and I would know that because I just freaking read the highlights of changes document. Now, this is important for one major reason

Hare, Hart, and Harpur back in 1991 said that psychopathy is not the same as ASPD. Hare developed a separate way to diagnose someone due to this (in 2003), which is still in use. But anyway, psychopathy is a square and rectangle situation. Psychopaths have ASPD, but not all people with ASPD are psychopaths.

Now, since my father was labelled as a PSYCHOPATH, calls himself a PSYCHOPATH, and doesn't care when I call him a PSYCHOPATH, im going to continue calling him a psychopath, and a narcassist because for fucks sake people guess what, not everything is a call back to a disorder i wouldnt even know that you have unless you tell me.

No, its referring back to Narcissus, the guy that fell in love with his own reflection, because guess where the word originated from and what it means? Someone obsessed with themselves, which my dad is

[imaginesfubu]

Happy [late] Valentine's Day everyone! I got inspiration for this post from my own relationship with my boyfriend. We don't have real "pet names," but we do call each other headass/faceass so... ????? I guess this might still count as one? Hope you enjoy!

Obey Me! Boys React to MC Affectionately Calling Them Headass/Faceass

Lucifer

"Hey, don't worry about it. I just came to check in on you, you overworked headass."

...what

What did you just call him?

Last time he checked, calling someone a headass was an insult

This man is so confused, he put his pen down

"...Come again, MC?"

"Huh? I just came in to check on you. But since you're busy and I can tell you're about to give me the whole "'MC I'm fine'" spiel, I'll see myself out. Love you, and get some sleep this time!"

He was so confused he just watched you leave with a smile on your face as if what you said was normal

What did he do wrong? Had he done something that bothered you without him realizing it? Did he say something to you that hurt you? If so, when did these events take place

Only when he finally breaks free from his overthinking, he texts Mammon to get his advise

Lucifer never thought he'd see another day when he would ask Mammon for advise

Once Mammon responded to his text that the term is meant to be an insult, however in some cases it can be used in a teasing manner.

He guessed the MC was "usin' it to be funny or teasin' ya"

Though, not a lot of people use it to be romantic

So, does that mean I'm off the hook and can have Goldie back?

Read, 2:28 a.m.

Oh, you're in for it now, MC

Mammon

You two were hanging out in his room, planning a pyramid scheme

Karasu, Mammon's pet crow, was also there to put his own two cents in

"Instead of paying taxes like good eggs, give your tax money to me," Karasu states

"Excuse you, bird-brain?! What makes you think you'll get even a cent? A Grimm, even?!"

Cue a literal squabble amongst birb bois

You can't help but laugh and say:

"Mammon, you headass! I love you though."

Mammon needs a system reboot

Congrats, Karasu thought his demon master was dead

Mammon just looks at you and blushes redder than Lucifer's eyes, but then quickly retorts:

"Oh yeah? Well you're a faceass, MC! Butistillloveyatoo"

You both just laugh and blush together, Karasu and the pyramid scheme both forgotten

Leviathan

Somehow, someway, you convinced Levi to take you to Scotland after he told you the truth behind the human myth of the Loch Ness Monster

Levi didn't want to go back, he was so embarrassed he was spotted, and even more so when he had to retreat

How can he EVER go back to Scotland after suffering so much humiliation and shame?!

But, Levi loves you enough to travel with you to help him come to terms with his past

"Levi, you mauled people back in the what, 7th Century? 6th, 8th?"

"B-b-but they were taunting me! They actually recognized me as a demon! I couldn't let anyone who saw me live..."

"Jeez, Levi, it's the 21st Century. All three Realms are changing and evolving! You have to let go and let Go- I mean Diavolo. Let go and let Diavolo."

"I'd rather watch Koko's Strage Journey with you and cuddle, but fine."

"We can do that later, headass. Your mental and emotional health is what matters to me most."

He wanted to retort, but he knew you were right.

He doesn't mind the name

Just know that he'll tell you how you reminded him of one of his favorite characters who acts all cool and a bit mean on the outside but actually is really caring on the way back to the Devildom

Satan

Reacts like an old man just like Lucifer

Were you joking with him?

Were you flirting and wanted him to react as such?

What in the 9th Circle of Devildom did you just call him?

Satan's too old to try to keep up with modern day human slang...he feels himself losing brain cells

He's come to the conclusion to study up even more on recent psychology and sociology textbooks from the human realm

He needed to confide in his partner- in-crime, Satan's own Watson to complete his Holmes: Belphie

"Hey Belphie, MC just called me a "headass."

Belphie laughed so hard he went to sleep faster than an old Microsoft Windows XP desktop shutting down

[Insert shut down sound here]

It wasn't until you called him a faceass later that day with a playful smile and a laugh threatening to come out, does he realize what's going on

Satan's gonna get you back 😉

Asmodeus

Ohohoho~

MC's feisty and playful!

You have no idea what you do to this demon

Then again, yes you do... kinda

Asmo doesn't care what you call him, so long as he knows he's loved, appreciated, and respected by you and there's no malice behind the teasing

The more you call him a headass or a faceass with your sweet laugh and the sparkle in your eyes, the more he just wants to push you up against the wall and-

Beelzebub

You, Beel, and Belphie were hanging out in the attic

Beel was pretty tired of watching old Devildom comedy sitcoms, and he wanted to know of any "old but gold" human realm comedy sitcoms

You told Beel (and belphie, after waking him up to hang out with the two of you) about Roseanne, and that your favorite character was Roseanne's daughter, Darlene

Beel loves Dan, and Belphie can't help but like Darlene as well

Before the three of you know it, you take the remote and start up the second episode of season two

You and Beel are sure Belphie's dead asleep

Beel is kind of grateful that his little brother is asleep because he gets to spend more time with you

"Hey MC?"

???

"What if you and I wind up like Roseanne's family?"

"What about it? I'd love to have a family with you, Beel, and live long enough to see you turn into a headass like Dan."

Beel almost stopped mid-chew of an entire bag of jellybeans

All he did was look at you and smile, mouth full of jellybeans

"I wouldn't have it any other way, faceass."

Belphegor

Belphie invited you out stargazing

After a while of talking and joking around, it slipped out your mouth

You meant it in a joking way, but you weren't sure if you took it too far as he wasn't laughing with you anymore

"Oh no, I'm so sorry Belphie! I didn't want to call you something cliché like "babe, hun, bae, love... But i-i-if you don't want me to call you that it's totally fine!"

Belphie just stares at you as you stutter out an apology

Poor cow boy doesn't know what's going on because he actually fell asleep and didn't want to tell the truth to you

He did hear himself being called a faceass

"Hey, MC no it's fine. You don't need to apologize. I'm with you on that cliché bit. Besides, do you know how many people we can confuse and watch them drift into madness?"

You're so happy you just hug him

"You fell asleep on me"

"MC, n-"

"You're such a faceass, but I love you."