#i just need somewhere to be weird again | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

swampsong13 · 6 months ago

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guess I'm back lol

#it sure has been a while #i just need somewhere to be weird again #uhhh I'll probably reblog the usual and then some of my new interests so #(i mainly am returning to be weird about depeche mode again)

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scionshtola · 3 months ago

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at some point if you are a female sun seeker and no one ever beats your dad nunh do you just have to like. leave?? or does this not happen.

#a female sun seeker who wants kids i mean #also i have questions about shtola’s family bc we see siblings in limsa and sharlayan #but where are her parents. like just physically where are they i want to know ahdjdksk #presumably somewhere in sharlayan???#i need to go on the hunt for y siblings again i can’t remember where they all are #i need a text post tag #tbf i don’t think it would be a stretch to say shtola isn’t close to her parents like she did leave at 7. and i don’t think she regrets it #but also kinda weird to send your 7 year old to live in a cave with an old woman. even if that 7 year old is shtola #idk!!! i’m just thinking. the differences and similarities in her and cori’s childhoods #are fascinating to me #okay ngl i kinda forgot what the actual body of this post said when i hit post. this is a shtola post now

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gomzdrawfr · 1 month ago

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Gomzzzzz hello!!! I’ve been lurking in your blog for like, over a year now and I just wanted to say, your art is so freaking amazing and cute....the big cheeks!! I’ve always struggled with confidence in my own work, to the point where sharing anything felt almost impossible (stare at my stuff for hours only to delete them) But seeing you do your thing? I decided to try posting too. Okay it took a while but when I did I was fully expecting it to get like… 2 likes, max. But then YOU reblogged it, and my phone basically exploded. I’m not even kidding—my notifications were wild, and for the first time, I actually felt proud of something I made. It might sound silly and you probably don't know which art of mine you reblog but it really hyped me up and frankly...i found back the feel to draw again. I can't thank you enough for doing what you do, for making cod space a better and nicer place (your reblogs on others are always soooo positive and top tier)

Anyway, I’m keeping myself anonymous because, uhhh, social anxiety vibes and don’t want to overwhelm you;w; but I hope you know how much you’ve impacted people like me just by being yourself. I’m wishing you the absolute best for 2025!! zapping you with my beams to give you braincells for your school stuff

you deserve all the good things fr

-🦈

🥹

CryING iN THE CLUB— (my room)

Shark anon, thank you for the sweetest words, I really needed this today…and I’m so proud of you for finding back the love to draw again. I hope 2025 will be a blast for you too man!! Remember to take rest and have a good year ahead

#im trying to guess who you are…#theres a few people in my head but I really cant be sure…i did text one of them to check but its unlikely #i feel like you’re right tho if u didnt remain anon i would’ve panic #LMAO #i know its weird and like hard to really like what you draw i feel ya #idk about me making the fandom space nicer im just being chaotic af tho NDJSJDJSJS BUT THANK YOU 😭#this year I’ve been digging thru the tags and trying to find more creators around and share it to everyone #give the lil boost cuz they can do so much #i started from zero its time i give some of those numbers to everyone else #bee is this u (bcuz of the face) if its u im smothering u with love gdi #urhhjjjhghhhh (rubs my face + deep breath) ok i think im good #(breathes out) nope im crying again (SOBS LOUDLY)#its the stress hsing this opportunity to release itself #ok but this is genuinely so nice of you i really cant #even word it properly without JFJSJDJS WITHOUT SCREAMING EEEEEHHHRGGGH #im gonna exPLODE #LOVE LETTER FOR ME BASICALLY #you guys are too nice 😭💛#boop #naur man this needs to be added to my pin post or somewhere so i can reread it #ask response #thanks for the ask <3 #gomz having a melt down #sorry btw if this response is short my brain is still full of uni stuff i HRGH #didnt wanna make u wait either #<3 #just know i’ll be thinkinf about this forever #njjrjjjnnnn *gomz melts*

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seithr · 2 months ago

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powerful sorcerer with magical storm blood who can still magic and rend minds and transform people btw

#pannic button. dont read my thoughts. uhm. I Wish I Was Riding My Girlfriend On A Nice Vacation Somewhere Rn?#[SUCCESS] 'ok well you want her but our god can give u something better than the avernus aether twist. for your consideration'#can the absolute do this (GIVES HER A LITTLE KISS ON THE FOREHEAD AND HOLDS HER HAND AND ITS NICE) HMM???#anyways im at moonrise now after whatt feels like forever. a lot of the noncombat checks were fun with him though!! sorc/bard priveleges!!#halsin's big fuzzy owlbear ass is hard for everyone to maneauver around now EXCEPT for arque who can fly. why are you cracked dude #ok last thing. arque is my pretty princess who keeps getting in situations. goblin kidnapping caused by drinking weird juice.#omeluum's brainworm mulcher caused by more madness juice. the githyanki device. well arque drank mystery elixer by an undead guy aagain #and everyone APPROVED. everyone loves arquebait ou ha ha. he's literally fine hes the party guineapig his magic will fix it probablymaybe.#he moments later stuck his hand into a wet fleshy wall hole and got STUCK and panicked yanking his arm out. shadowheart told em #'hm. maybe do not do that.' arque does it again and has horrible mental visions again. BUT WAS HE HURT? no and now we know more!#SO GUYS...ITS OKAY..... if something happen to arque itll eitjer be fixed by his arcane abilities or its like fine if not. its just arque #(this is a whole thing about his implied character to me. but now i'm getting too into the ocs..point is i love that he can keep Doing This #anyways thats all for me im spamming my private twt but yapping in tags only here so i dont ruin public tags. arquelach 4ever btw #goodnight ill... be another week until i can continue seeinh what the fucjs up with ketheric thorm. crazy good voice on him btw #i would have more to say about him being a nice voiced old man but (gestures) (karlach) this is all i thinkabout #baldur's gate 3 #i need an oc tag #arquelach

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chrisbangs · 9 months ago

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i finished thesis, won an award, and have graduated.. hello 👋🥸

#i'm not coming back but :') hello #i forgot i even had tumblr still on my phone djdkdkdkdk #i just opened it for the first time in ??? 5 months or smth i think idk for sure #life is weird :')#remember when i said i wanna drop out every day of my life :') bc i suck at design #welp i won an award for my design thesis :')#jsjdjdkdkdkdj #turns out having friends kinda changes your life 🫂#having friends at school has actually :') made me a happier more normal person lol #i haven't been miserable?? i haven't wanted to kms ... i have been so happy and yes school was shitty but i wanted to go and try hard bc #my friends motivated me to stay and try and that's crazy :') idk #felt really loved and like i belonged somewhere for the first time in my life 🫨 like woah ppl like me and wanna be my friend? me??#:') i'm really happy... isn't that weird #i used to want to kms every other day hsjdndkdkdks lol 😭#now i'm like 😭 every day i look forward to waking up bc i'm happy and i have ppl who love me and i wanna see them again and i wanna spend #time with them again and play games with them again :')#literally stayed up till ??? 4 am yesterday talking to one of them like #😭#god jm djjdkdkdkd idk :')#my life is good...#???? IM NOT MISERABLE IDK GUYS #wild af #even winning the award was such a shock like 🥲 damn . who ? me?#ppl from like :') this big design thing in toronto we're praising it too like djdjdodjdkdj #:') it's kinda crazy.. i was super !#man.. i cant believe how 5 months ago i was gonna kms 🥸👆 and now i'm like erm actually maybe we do need to live #:') anyway #i hope ppl on here are doing good 🫨🔨#it is sad to not be here as much but also 👋😌 i'm happy to be free at the same time so ✨

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wizardsix · 3 months ago

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I think the only villain in veilguard that I was actually interested in and dare I say even a little intimidated by was the butcher.. like everything about that scene from the atmosphere to his clam dialogue were very reminiscent of the arishok and like. idk it was a sliver of depth beyond being the mindless killers the antaam were unfortunately portrayed as and maybe if bioware wasn't racist there definitely could've been more substance there . but whatever who cares about anything anymore right

#the butcher was cool and then they had to bring in the comically evil governor. yawn #there's thoughts somewhere but it doesn't look good when a minor villain is more interesting than your main three . lol #bioware critical #datv spoilers #six speaks #idk man i think anyone is as capable of an invasion it doesn't always have to be the qunari. really. no need to do that again we're good #some fantasy tropes need to be laid to rest and an evil race is at the top of the list. please. its so weird.#this game is a mess just throw the whole thing away and start over

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james-spooky · 4 months ago

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this is a test

#i’m bored i just wanna see how many words i can put in the tags like will it just keep going on forever or will they stop me like i know th #the tag limit is 30 ok so the iindividual tag limit is 140 characters that’s actually so rude i wanted to keep going forever and see how lo #g this could be but i guess we can do this 30 times ok what the flip should i talk about hm i was playing the guitar today but i rage quit #ause the song was hard and hurting my fingers! ermmmmm it was sunny ok this is boring let’s think of more exciting things to type hmmm acco #ding to all known laws of aviation- jk i’m not doing the bee movie script but can you imagine i think that would be funny hmmmmm words i lo #e podcasts so bad that’s a fact no one has ever know before my blog definitely isn’t all about audio dramas the people are definitely not a #ready aware of this jesus christ this is only the seventh one of these this is actually quite a lot of space i underestimated how much i ha #e to type btw there’s probably spelling mistakes in here somewhere or autocorrect has been annoying but i cba to retype anything so i don’t #care lolllllllllllll how do you feel about oscar malevolent i feel a normal amount actually (lie) yk what i really miss sam and colin alrea #y like i’m actually not okay i really hope we hear from sam again in s2 and also colin ngl i hope ur in the computers soz or not dead miss #im like a bastard my paranoid it king ok erm im running out of things to say um heartstopper s3 was crazy good i cried lmao i love gay peop #e so much it’s crazy i hope it gets renewed for s4 i need to reread the comics lowkey and the books they’re all so talented for being so yo #ng it scares me ngl !!!!!! the tmagp hiatus is getting to me slightly like february in reality is soon and not that far away for how podcas #ts go but seriously how am i supposed to live until then without knowing what happened. please colin be alive. ive only just realised i can #use fills stops. sorry that’s made everything a bit messy. i should’ve been doing this before. whoops. anyways. hi mutuals i love you all s #much i hope you enjoy my rambles and shitposts cause i enjoy yours very much! never think you’re being annoying i literally don’t care be a #annoying as you want posts as much as you want i am ur biggest fan <3 im getting a bit fatigued from typing like my mind is blank basically #now it’s just turned into a. stream of consciousness but i don’t really have any thoughts to put here idk if we’re halfway ermmmm omg it’s #lmost halloween how crazy is that time is flying by i kinda forgot it was october lmao. it’s wild how it’s basically almost christmas. like #what. that’s illegal. how is it wintertime again. what the flip. i miss summer already take me backkkkkkk. i hope my phone doesn’t crash or #smth cause i’ve not saved this as a draft and i cba to do any of this again. maybe i should save it. ok i will when i reach the next tag bc #ok it stopped me but i’ve saved it and holy jesus it’s a lot of text im just sat here giggling there’s really no point to any of this other #than me being bored sooooooooooooooooo (imagine if i just did the letter o for every character wouldn’t that be crazy) so wait there’s 140 #haracters and 30 tags so what’s 30 x 140. someone hurry. i haven’t done maths lessons in two and a half years i’ve forgotten everything wai #let me get the calculator app ok im back it said 4100 characters so. i dont know how many words that roughly is but its. a decent amount. o #what the flip why am i wasting tag space with maths. i hate maths. my screen time has been actually soooooooooo bad recently like damn some #one put my phone in a block of ice please joshua gillespie style. my mind is running out of things to say. do i talk about myself. im james #im 18 which is weird cause wdym im an adult go away. ive run out of facts. i love podcasts and procedural dramas that stupid firefighter sh #w is my life unfortunately. i think chappell roan should be the queen of england instead of king charles. i dont like having a king cause #ho needs men in power not me. ok um this is the last tag equal rights for all. yolo. the time will pass anyways! thank u boredom ok bye gn:

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wavebiders · 1 year ago

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LRT that is such a thing with queer fandom spaces tho. It's like that post that's all "yeah your story is so gay but how are you treating your female characters" you know?

like yeah it's great that this is the queer fandom website but a good chunk of the time that just means placing a lot of focus on the white guys and that's still not great lmao

#this isnt anything I just need to spit my thoughts out somewhere #but it's been kinda bugging me ever since folks got all bug eyed about the bg3 romance stats #all the brushing Shadowheart's popularity off as straight guys that dont actually care about character depth #first of all saphic women and bi/pan exist believe it or not queer does not always = attraction to men #and believe it or not many straight men do have actual thoughts in their heads besides 'oooh im a tough guy banging a hot girl'#like do you guys actually go outside and talk to people or is your only experience with straight guy gamers angry youtube comments?#even just sticking to the internet you can find folks on reddit having discussions about her whole deal with Shar/Selune as early as ea #people have always been interested in her story #it just feels weird to brush off a female character's popularity as just being shallow #while considering the vocal online love for male characters to be inherently more deep #again this isnt anything it's not a call out sometime a bitch just needs to be petty and vent yeah?

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moonlight-at-dawn · 1 month ago

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I wish my sleep schedule would stop being so fucking random and garbage!!! Can I PLEASE just be awake for 16hr and sleep for 8hr like a functional human!? this sleeping for 12hr and being awake for 18-30hr is bullshit

#misha rambles #urgh i probably need to get my iron and thyroid tested again #i also might need to try sleeping pills to get back onto a normal schedule but me and those kinds of meds don't typically get along #when i was given... ativan?? is that the sleeping one?? i didn't sleep but i did get a really weird dyslexia where words jumped out into #shapes. like i saw full on gothic cathedrals in paragraphs idk #it was weird and disorienting and i didn't get any fucking sleep!!!!#but we'd found something that worked i just don't remember what it was #and i don't have a script history bc my dr had received samples from the manu that he gave me bc i only needed the like 2 or whatever it ca #-me with bc i was just using it to get back on track not to solve a chronic issue #but i can't ask for it bc i have no idea what it was!!! woo!!!#and this was when i still lived in az i don't have access to any of that info #and it's been i think 10 years #idr how long medical records need to be kept for but i think it's somewhere between 7 to 10 yrs?

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jettoooooo · 8 months ago

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i'm so fucking stressed out

#dude my dog had acl repair surgery in march #she's healed fine with that but developed stomach issues #so she's been back and forth to the vet with that #and now when i was at work she just randomly started walking weird as fuck. she kicks her leg that was operated on backwards as she walks #and sometimes looses balance in both legs #and then when i pick her up she acts like it hurts her spine or something #i'm gonna wake up in 4 hours to call the vet and see if they can see us today and pray that this isn't something that she'll need surgery #for again #i also am supposed to work tomorrow and then friday we have a rehearsal dinner and then saturday the wedding which is two hours away.#vets closed on sunday so if she can't get seen tomorrow it'll be a whole new fiasco trying to get her helped somewhere else #this dog is my lifeline like it #ruins me #seeing her like this #genuinely if i didn't have her i wouldnt be here #it's so hard to watch her not even be able to walk #but it's so fuckinf weird bc my mom said she was just laying in her bedroom and she came back out doing it? there's nothing she could've #gotten into it just makes no fuckinf sense #like it's possible either her kneecap or her acl implant thing popped out of place but #she stiffens her entire body when i pick her up #and she acts like she's losing balance #it's so fucking weird #i'm also terrified that i'm about to get told she has some kind of onset of neurological problems and she'll have to get put down #or something along those lines #it's just too much rn #pls keep my doggy in ur thoughts #we just spent 3k on her surgery in march if she has to get operated on again first of all the recovery process all over again sounds like #a nightmare #but just the cost alone #i'm gonna FUCKING KILL MYSELF

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arcane-vagabond · 8 months ago

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#I think I might genuinely be on the verge of a mental breakdown #prompted by nothing so literally wtf???#maybe it’s because I haven’t like…expressed in a while #I think I might just need an actual break #I’m just feeling…sad? today and idk why #like literally nothing is going on except I haven’t been sleeping well #not sure why that is either #I’m trying to make more of an effort to go out and do things even if it’s by myself #taking my meds and vitamins again and trying to eat better #I just feel sad and restless like I need to be doing something or going somewhere #idk it’s weird #Liz speaks #Liz’s personal tag

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xcziel · 3 days ago

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#horrible leg cramps have calmed a bit but are continuing along with thumpy heartrate increase #and my magnesium supplement is out of date and i'm not trying to go out after more #look up leg cramps just to see if there's helpful advice #let's see continuing leg cramps causes: diabetes ✔️ okay. thyroid issues ✔️ vitamin deficiencies yeah ik. severe anemia too ✔️#this does not narrow it down at all #oh also cholesterol medications too so ✔️#but the only one the dr has been calling me to come in for is the anemia so ...#just why suddenly after work you know? like they still *function* fine it's just this constant 'something is wrong'#ever since i got sick my body chemistry has been utterly whacked and now i'm not sick but it's getting weirder not better #i have had leg cramps before (why i had the magn and potassium supplements) but they went away after i slept #these went away then came back also they showed up just as i was feeling better #after a day of just feeling the malaise of a bad day spent feeling 'something is wrong' but nothing specific enough to identify #so like it was a good sogn bc i felt better but now it keeps on and i'm feeling bad again #i really hope it *is* the anemia because it would explain it but damn how am i gonna function until friday i can't sleep #and also like i've been whete these numbers are at before so why is it so much worse so suddenly #that's what's worrisome - where are all my red blood cells going? bc that means the internal bleeding thing is back on the table #well or the bone cancer?#there are too many things that could cause the same symptoms what tge fuck #torn between just taking aleve until nothing hurts (except if it's my kidneys ... or hey my stomache bc nsaids)#and packing a hospital bag just in case because catastrophisizing is what you do when you're home by yourself #it's so hard to tell when you're fat but you *think* you've been losing a weird amount of weight for no known reason #ignire this i'm typing it out bc i need to put it down somewhere and this blog is like a journal

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ragnars-tooth · 3 months ago

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One of my big compulsions is taking a fuck ton of screenshots Just In Case a piece of information is important in like 4 years and I can't remember it (sometimes the information is an instagram post that I might not remember later and of course needs to be recorded everywhere (I will Not be looking at that again)) so today is my transfer 16000 images off my phone admin day (woo)

Like yeah I never looked at any of them and they were completely irrelevant to my daily life, But what if I need them ✨️ later ✨️ (you'll see that the idea of Later is doing a lot of heavy lifting here) OR what if there's a vital piece of information in the mix somewhere that I'll lose forever if I delete them? So: onto the external hard drive they go

This is one of those cases where. Yeah. Ideally I wouldn't take 16000 screenshots in half a year. And YEAH ideally I'd just delete them and not transfer them somewhere else to never look at again. BUT at least I get a clean slate and I can maybe not mindlessly save everything for 2 seconds. It's like. Small wins? Progress. Yknow.

#rangnar rambles #i also use my tumblr drafts this way which is how i have probably 2000 drafts for this blog that are just? like me saving a post for 'later #and then theres too many in my drafts for me to even find *MY* drafts #i need to just hard reset the draft function bc its literally unusable for me #'matt this is all irrational and weird' by god. my irrational thoughts disorder makes me do weird shit? are you fr rn??? 😨😨#i get so stupidly in my own head and then i dont make progress towards Anything #even like a fun sideblog where i can actually yknow. post that 2k nightmare? i just cringe myself out like a dumbass 😔#i feel like ocd thoughts always sound lame out loud (and in my head to myself too)#like the Urgency doesnt come across #like in the moment i am Completely convinced that my national insurance number and bank deets are in there somewhere #and theres suddenly no way on earth i could ever find them again if i delete the picture. so to the hard drive they go #i Would go through that whole thing if i suddenly needed a screenshot from 2019 btw. like the crazy isnt theoretical #ive hallucinated gas leak smells before and woken up my flatmates bc i couldnt convince myself i was over reacting #its just cus the seasons have changed that everythings ramping up but omg its hard to do anything but spiral nowadays #thats a little dramatic but i am losing like. a quarter of the day to my ocd #its like. not great 😬#im not back to convincing myself i gave my dad cancer but i am not letting myself use half the kitchen again #but eh soo la voo we ball #HAH i checked my drafts after this and i was lowballing so hard #5.7k on this blog. 12k on my main 💀. its not funny but it kind of is #this is why youll never catch me running a queue #this is such a miserable post but i do feel the need to not let it sit in the drafts pile. to prove the point i guess 💀💀💀#'no one gives a shit this is your blog' 'oh my GOD WHAT IF PEOPLE GIVE A SHIT' <- omg shut upppp youre so embarassing 🙄#one more time for the gallery: i am like. aware that these feelings are irrational. like i am fine it just takes time for reality to kick in #ANYWAYS what was that who said that that was so weird im gonna go look at old romantic era paintings now #if tam is a screenshot fiend in the next fic u know what happened

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piratebay · 25 days ago

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my therapist asking if i'd tried anything other than meds drugs and/or alcohol to sleep before. like bruh. the list is long. the nighttime ritual i had as a child worked most of the time but since then nothing really has been that effective. also probably because i haven't been able to form any routine on my own without outside reinforcement. ever. much less one that works in the long term. :smiles beautifully:

#like so far lamotritine + lithium is working but the restlessness and inability to find structure in anything is nailing me in the nuts #i guess i still got depressed and angry so i lapsed in meds and cycled back to hypomania #and now my sleep cycle is starting to get harder to do (?) weird to conceptualize that as something i even NEED to do much less WANT to lol #i am this close to asking for presc sleep meds but i wanna try getting amphetamines first to see if it helps me with daily tasks...........#he thinks i was depressed last monrh but i didnt see it!!! it wasnt nearly as bad as its been sooooo. idk also antidepressents scare me.sigh #i would love to make a list right now.#404 not found #I SPELLED LAMOTRIGINE WRONG. you get me you get my point. it's just a word. it's too long anyway #i wasn't over sleeping no diet changes and no mental slowdown just the typical thought issues and normal mood fluctuations.#<- which i guess is still too fucking much for normal ppl lmfao. jfc.#but i kind of know i'm in A State of Something right now #cause a friend came over and i word saladed everywhere and i'm not sleeping well am studying 3 different subjects playing two video games #binge watched 5 tv shows (oops) and cooked a bunch yesterday even though i've mainly just been drinking water and tea :)))))))#oh AND i overcommitted. and haven't been out of the house in a week. and am just now starting to communicate again.#<- that wasn't just a Wall of Ideas.#hmn think of me fondly tomorrow i will be Driving and staying overnight somewhere #which. driving shouldn't be too hard if i'm dosed LMAO #but yes first friend sleep over since julyyyy yikes let's hope we're still friends and not triggered by the end of it fucking hellllllll #*don't be a bitch don't be a bitch don't be a bitch don't be a bitch*#<- my mantra #omg i wanna code.#I've been on mobile for a while i forgot iff my tags look good on there

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springcatalyst · 2 months ago

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thinking oc thoughts. everything comes back to milo being a storyteller

#AUCH I LOVE HIM #just vaguely kind of worldbuilding about fauns and their gods #and im real specific about how they do things but what im doing now is i think they have these like #annual celebrations of certain ones in which they have some Story play out #in a very theatrical/dancelike qay #way**. its not a Dance but its not NOT a dance. u understand #but the story being told is more like a play but its also worldless and also theres a visual element of some kind #bcause in almost everything they do they Paint. theyve got the center of town that is paved in limestone purely so they can paint it #during things like festivals and weddings #and so theyve got this dance play performance art Thing they do every year as a method of storytelling #in which usually multiple people embody a god and enact the story #and surprisingly enough i was NOT making this with milo in mind but then. well baby #no way he WOULDNT have done this. he is a storyteller at heart #BUT then im thinking. who???#the big one is the sun but hes not a ewe so he couldnt do that. natakala wouldnt celebrate the moons so they arent an option #the mountain is a wether and theyre the other big one #the rest are more minor... natakala isnt close enough to the sea to really celebrate them and either way the sea is once again a wether #the rivers a ewe. the ONLY one he could play would be the storm. which they MAY celebrate but ultimately #hes just not as major as the sun moons or mountain #BUT. i think milo could definitely connect with something there. i havent developed the story of the storm quite as much but #something in the labile nature of it and the ruin and the almost futility and cyclical nature of it. i think he could feel that #without really acknowledging why #OUGH. i am IN love with him if u didnt know #i have by FAR the most lore and worldbuilding stuff for fauns out of any species and its because theyre FASCINATING #and so specific. and also because i get real weird with it to make milo the way he is #nightlings have a good amount of physiological stuff but ultimately that doesnt come thru much in the actual story cause.#why would it. its all just background information #but fauns culture is so rich and theres still So Much More i need finish fleshing out. but I Love It #im juust starting to get there with nightlings #humans are hobbling somewhere behind and i got like Nothin on ipotanes or satyrs or merfolk. its kind of tragic but. alas

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pyrriax · 1 year ago

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hi tumblr im pyrr pyrriax and im in my trimonthly artist arc, lord help me and all the projects that are currently sitting in my drafts while i am lured in by the siren song of drawing

#haunted ecosystem #this is not helping with how much my hands hurt on a daily basis this is why i type and dont handwrite/draw very much.#im lured in regardless and i really need to find an artform that doesnt Hurt but for now. digital art <3 #like theres a difference between my dumb doodles (quick easy not much different from regular computer usage) and actual art #but im an artist at heart i spent sooooo long being an artist and thinking i was shit at writing. that is wrong! im actually kinda good #im rambling in tags today because i have been not social (my partner is in genshin hell and my beloved is. somewhere.)#okay but on another note i reread the first. couple chapters of wtds this morning? the pacing is a little weird and the tense is fucked #but its actually a lot better than i thought it was? you can tell i was fleshing everybody out in my head and i totally forgot about how #i described the watcher [who i am STILL redacting the name of until we get there] and just. ough. pandora being very logical #and then jumping to the latest chapter and fucking sobbing because i forgot about how it went and just. pandora and his.#whatever the fuck is wrong with him.#i have gotta start recommending people read that again. its surprisingly friendly without context because of how i approached it #that fic has taught me so many things its actually a little comical. it also made me relearn how to make and write ocs so thats fun #once i finish that main fic (and i WILL i am actually planning to sign up for a thing. im finishing it i swear.) i finally get to show off #more of the world and characters ive crafted. showing backstories and what-ifs and all these oneshots ive been keeping close to my chest #for like absolutely ages because i dont want any spoilers on my tumblr #and. im finishing that fic in pseudo-memoriam of somebody who deleted their accounts everywhere. still miss you dane!#ok this has completely gone off topic ily tumblr im going back to drawing and i might make a new pfp #it'll still be lavius but it'll be fray lavius since i think about him a lot and i like his color palette.

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