#i just need proper motivation
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what a shame that ive been filled with an inexplicable zest for life and motivation to do everything i never have the energy to do but it’s 1am
#im not just talking the normal 1am spike of energy here#like ive started planning my novel again#the one ive been trying to rewrite for like. two or three years at this point#(i wrote it for the first time five years ago but the new version is only loosely based on it)#the one that ive never been able to finish a single chapter of or like actually plan at all#also i only ever remember i need to schedul appointments when the places i need to schedule with are closed#this is why more places should have an online scheduling option i just cant remember to make calls#its just like#i just had like the realization#just tonight#that i can do anything i want#and yeah it may be tough but the worst part is getting started and pushing through the initial dip in energy#which is. yes. a hard thing to do#but ive done it before and its not impossible!#i just need proper motivation#which now that i understand how my brain works a bit better#(now that i know i might have adhd)#i kinda have a better idea of how to do that#i need to replicate my conditions from high school because i never had problems until college#i need a structure to be imposed on me#anyways#i need to stop and start winding down to sleep#hopefully this lasts through the night!#cloudy tries writing#cloudy rambles
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Gaslight, Gatekeep, Girl found dead in a hidden room.
[First] Prev <–-> Next
#poorly drawn mdzs#mdzs#lan xichen#jin guangyao#jiang cheng#wei wuxian#qin su#EDIT: Tumblr published an earlier draft with only half the notes I wrote so: late entry on my JGY thoughts.#Unlike the mystic powers of the stockmarket (what the OG meme is referring to) I think this situation calls for more active investigation.#qin su is such a deeply tragic character to me and I really wish we got a bit more from her.#Love everyone who sent me messages about her after the last time she appeared.#I think she needs a spin off of her being a transmigrator SO badly.#MDZS has so many interesting characters - but it sometimes fails to give them the proper room to really develop past a role in the plot.#That's just the consequence of writing a story like MDZS. Not every character in a book *needs* to have a rich inner life and backstory!#To do so would bog down the story and obliterate any notion of pacing. It's just not possible.#Jin Guangyao (nee Meng Yao) is unfortunately not free from this leeway rule. He is the culprit of this murder mystery plot#and thus NEEDS to encapsulate the themes of the book. And personally he's a 7 out of 10 at best on this front (in the AD).#MDZS is about rumours twisting reality and working towards truth. And about how people & situations are rarely ever black & white#JGY has his motivations. He's well written in regards to his actions making sense for his character.#What started as good traits (drive to succeed & improve his image) became twisted over time (do anything to maintain his image)#and it's a good parallel to WWX! He has the same arc (with different traits)! Bonus points for IGY in that regard.#but man....by the time we confront this guy for murder there's not a lot of grey morality. He's just...deep in the hole *he* dug.#There's a beautiful tragedy to it! More on JGY in later comics - this is getting pretty long already!
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Wouldn't lizard fashion be something like spikes and scales and a frilled lizard collar?
Like so?
(Bonus art under the cut)
#thank you anon I've been wanting to draw proper lizard fashion for a while and this gave me the motivation I needed#dracula daily#re: dracula#dracula#lizard fashion#The colours I chose here make Drac look like Harry Du Bois - which is appropriate given how I tend to depict his personality in my shitpost#bonus under the cut featuring Dracula's Weed Smorking Girlfriends#personally I really like the theory that the three vampire women are actually dracula's wife and two daughters#since the book never actually calls them his wives and the two subordinate girls are specifically described as looking similar to him#the idea that he turned his family but is no longer capable of loving them (or being loved by them) adds a whole extra layer for me#because he still goes through the motions - goes out to get them food (babies) and provide for them/fulfil the role of a patriarch#but its hollow and loveless and done out of strange obligation/habit - like an echo of being alive#BUT for the sake of comedy I will always draw them as his three weed smorking girlfriends because it's just funnier#or rather as I like to think of them - his three weed smoking EX-girlfriends who spend all day making fun of him and and freeloading#I'm going to tag any art with them in it from here on out as#the ex-wives of dracula#he's going to england to escape their ridicule
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Little bright colored outfit with a fun vest ~
(shoes from ebay like 10 years ago. everything else is thrifted)
#ootd#jfashion#fashion#fantasy fashion#mori kei#....like... adjacent... lol#no idea what style this would be lol.. makes me think of like whimsical vaguely fantasy themed childrens book character#finally posting one of my aforementioned seven million drafts of actual outfits and costumes i have finished and edited#the photos for but just never feel like posting lol..#I need to find one of those people whos like 'omg i am ADDICTED to social media ugh i wish i could get off of it#im just browsing and posting like 60 times a daaaaay!!!' and take a little magical bottle and suck some of the social media#enthusiasim out of them. for moi. In exchange they can have some of my 'literally just never in the mood to post or interact with the#outside world ever' energy. We can balance each other. huzzah and so on#Though I think maybe it's part of the general thing I've heard of like.. I can't remember if it was in reference to adhd or just some sort#of general execcutive functioning issue type of thing - but the idea that things have to be ''just right'' before you do something. like#'oh i need to do this task. but i have to wait until XYZ first' or 'oh i can do this but only if X specific condition is met' or etc#The fact that I even have to be in a Specific Mindset to post. or sometimes will delay posting on social media because like 'oh well#I'm going somewhere tomorrow. somehow this matters. i cannot spend 5 minuts posting TONIGHT. clearly it will interfere#somehow schedule wise with the doctor appointment i have 15 hours from now. yes. yes. i must wait until my appointment is over#tomorrow afternoon. THEN i shall post' or etc. etc. lol. NOT even taking into account the many days#I just genuinely and physically sick and it's not even a mental thing. I just physically dont feel like sitting at the computer lol..#ANYWAY.. trying to get back into it. trying to get a business bank account.. make a proper paypal so i can start selling sculptures again.#selling clothes and sculptures.. posting about such things then of course as one must. etc... chanting to hype up and motivate myself lol#But yes. this is my favorite outfit out of the bunch so I am posting it first I guess.. maybe others later..#Also the purple dress says its from shein. which I've heard is bad fast fashion stuff. but maybe okay since its second hand? I havent#been to the bins since like 2020 or late 2019 even. and I think stuff like shein and temu has only become poular in the past few years#but I bet if I went to the bins now I might would find a good handfull of that stuff. Probably now not much different than what you#find in a walmart or a forever 21 or actual physical stores you can go to though. I hear quality of clothing is down everywhere no matter#where you get it or whatnot. What bountiful joys unfettered capitalism and exploitation bestows upon us (<being sarcastic).#Wearing one of my favorite little vests though. I love the texture of it and the clasps on it
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I didn’t see any studyblr posts today with cats T_T
How am i supposed to go through with my day
#misa's undergrad journey#studyblr#I swear I need them for motivation#but I scrolled so much and still there were none….#*crying*#should I make a proper tag for cat posts?#cattag?#it looks weird#kitty tag just sounds creepy#aaaaa#pls give me suggestions#100#500#1k#2k
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I’ve been so busy with other stuff but I really want to get back to drawing WHF art so I went and cleaned up a wip. Not sure how I feel with some of the angles but I just needed to get this out of my system
Based off of this clip
Click for better quality
Check my pinned post to see links on how you can help the people in Palestine
#mcart#we happy few#whf#uncle jack#jack worthing#whf uncle jack#nick lightbearer#norbert pickles#whf nick lightbearer#is this lightfog?#yeah it is ngl so#lightfog#listen any ship art I make usually nine times out of ten it’s nothing romantic it’s usually shitposts like this#but the subtext is there#and this is toxic yaoi anyway ain’t no way they’d have a proper romantic relationship#their dynamic compels me though#it would work more in his foggy jack form but also I think it would be funny if this is how jack acts to him in his uncle jack form#just slightly unhinged#anyway uhhh if you’re still reading the tags uhh mayhaps you’d like to send me a request for a whf art idea?#gonna be honest I only have so many ideas I want to do but I feel like I need to be motivated so#it would be so awesome. it would be so cool#read my pinned post though and take into consideration for that cause there’s just some things I won’t do so I may end up rejecting an idea#would like to draw something with uncle jack cause like lately ive been trying to draw him but been having the hardest time idk why#he just looks off in my artstyle rn so maybe if i get a request id be able to lock in#anyway uhhh thats it
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Imagine you're Mr. Wu and your weird gay daughter runs away in tears after destroying some unespecified object while yelling about you ruining her life. Because you told her you'd be moving to another state. This is the last time you see your daughter in half a year, and when she comes back, she comes back... wrong. She's wearing a light leather armor, a fur-lined cape, and a green flower crown. She has two long scars, one alongside her spine and the other along her chest, the tissue around them covered in burn scars. Doctors say she shouldn't have survived. Doctors say she didn't. Yet she's right here, in front of you, hospital gown clinging to her small, fragile, trembling frame. She fidgets with her hands. Getting her to stay still has always been difficult, but now it seems impossible. She won't let go of her phone. She's always texting her two friends. When you take it away, she gets anxious. You always knew those damn phones cause kids to act weird, but your kid having a panic attack seems too extreme, even for her. Then again, she's always been odd. Nowadays, she wakes up crying and screaming almost every night, and you realize she's been stealing her phone from your bedside drawer every night to text her friends, returning it before you wake up. You catch her once and decide to give her that damn phone back. It's the only thing that calms her down, as if she were a baby with a pacifier. She spends her last weeks in LA clinging to her friends, having sleepovers and playing her weird board games with them. Everytime they drop her back at her house, there's an excessive amount of hugs and tears. But the moments when they call her, or when she leaves to meet with them, or when they show up at their door to pick her up... those are the only moments in which you see her happy. One of her friends, the rude and disobedient one, came back with a big scar on her face. She's been acting a lot nicer, though. The other one too. She acts a great deal more adult now. You doesn't know what happened or where your daughter went. She won't tell you. But you can tell this friendship is the only thing keeping her afloat right now. Maybe you know, deep down, that no one else would understand.
And then you decide to move anyway because fuck her amirite
#amphibia#marcy wu#my posts#so like what if marcy moving away was a proper tragedy#what if things were WORSE for her#what if *smashes marcy with a ROCK*#i realized that.#despite my parents being shitty (just found out literaly today my mom had doctors give me the wrong treatment because she assumed my body#would react the same way as hers. instead of doing what literally every doctor told her to do. now i need to get it fixed)#they still asked me how I felt about moving away to a different province when in like. 8.#like. oh right. this is something parents generally ask their kids about. instead of uprooting their entire lives out of nowhere.#marcy's situation is complicated in a narrative sense because#in order for her arc to work her departure must be dictated by morally neutral forces outside of her control#but her parents' decision seems very shitty with the context we're given. you COULD give context that justified their actions#i.e have them explain that they really do need this if they want marcy to go to college or some shit like that#but then it stops being Marcy vs. Forces of Nature#and it becomes Marcy vs. Her Dad (and she has to accept he's right in this one)#the show is clearly for a Marcy vs. Forces of Nature conflict (in this case it's the inevitability of change)#and in order to keep the antagonistic force abstract you CAN'T have her dad be a proper character#BUT. as a consequence -> Marcy has to give into the ''#the ''natural order'' which would be accepting her parents' power over her as natural and inevitable#it's not even like... accepting her parents are right or anything. just that their o#that their complete control of the situation and marcy's total powerlessness is natural and inevitable#and that's tragic! from a more watsonian ñerspective#perspective* : Marcy is sent back to her shitty parents and she just needs to learn how to deal with it away from her support system#the solution imo would have been to change the motivation behind her family moving away so that it's outside her parents' control too#it really has to be completely inevitable. i can't think of an alternative reason but it's just what it#it's what would fix this problem imo#it's a simple fix really
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So like, I took a break from even bothering to pray to hypnos for help with sleep cause, well, idk why actually, cause like, I started praying to him when I was in like, 8th or 9th grade.
Dude, a couple months back, I got this little lamb plush that I fucking adore- like, it has a music box inside it and a wind up key that I can take out if I want since- it's plastic and juts out.
And like, I got bored n decided to do rando research on hypnos's symbolic animals n shit... and now realizing,
Was the plush a fucking sign and I just only realized now?/lh
Anywayz, bedtime for moths ig. It's almost 13 am anyways.
#random bullshit with milo#hypnos devotee#hypnos worship#greek mythology#greek gods#witchcraft#(? not sure bout the witchcraft tag lmao)#i also just had the stupid inspo to turn my shitty princess table nightstand into a crappy makeshift altar thing ig#idk#my laptop is now where i cant casually reach it so now i need proper motivation to be silly on it/lh#ig it works.#i need to stfu#im rambling in the tags omfg
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It’s actually insane how fandom in general has become so scared of making weird and dark and ugly works. Like I look at myself and see how I have also subconsciously adapted this instinct to self censor and make things “marketable” and it’s making me want to crawl out of my skin. I need to get weirder and worse and more off-putting hello
#I need to write a proper Spectra&Gus meta bc it’s been cooking me how people don’t Want to see the insanity in them#argh#d0 stuff#negative#d0 smashes the keyboard#like yes#Gus’s devotion and loyalty are extreme and these feelings make him do stupid things that he is absolutely aware of being stupid#but let’s not pretend that these feelings go both ways in their relationship#Spectra (for like. the majority of the New Vestroia except the maybe last 12 eps?) sees Gus as a convenient tool#like Yeah he is like. a person and all that but Spectra doesn’t Interact with him when it doesn’t concern his business so#and also yes. he gives Gus a level of autonomy that one might not exactly expect from how usually these relationships go but#one Has to question if it’s bc of his goodwill or bc he is safe in his knowledge that Gus would never leave him#which. fun and sick and makes them sooo compelling#I would also argue that Spectra/Keith don’t even miss Gus when he ‘died’ as a person at first#but as the second pair of hands for work#like it was quite funny to see Spectra give instructions to air only to be reminded that his minion died#but it does rise the question of why hasn’t it happened before or in any other situation#(which I must say I really dig because yes. Spectra has always been centred around his ambitions so ofc this is where it would hurt first)#but yeah. sth sth Spectra only starts his journey of Actually giving a shit about Gus and acknowledging his importance to him as a person#by the end of nv#you could still argue it was partially (or maybe wholly) motivated by convenience that Gus presents but#it really was the first time Spectra has personally expressed his tie to Gus gah#all of this to say#they are sickos; each in their own way; and I think we can really make this more sinister and insane than we’ve allowed ourselves#throughout the years so far#like yeah. can I see them as a happy couple? sure! but also can I see this as a very codependent (more so from Gus’s angle) relationship#that’s being sprinkled with Tons of manipulation from Spectra? also yes#actually sorry for this wall of tags idk what got me thinking about them again#but it’s so so biting the bars day bc these guys are so fun!! we just have to let them be and maybe read canon through less good intentions#ok uhhh
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I’m sorry you feel like your brain is soup, but for what it’s worth I’ve been following you since I was like 14 on deviantart and the stuff you have created has always been a major inspiration for me; i love animals and fantasy and your ability to capture realistic proportions and anatomy while creating this beautiful movement in your artwork has always blown me away, it’s so full of life and beauty. I just wanted to tell you 🤷 you really inspired this random Australian kid and I hope you can find joy and rest and kindness for yourself k bye
Aaaaaa this is so wholesome! I haven't been enduring as much of my usual mental health struggle since I've started meds/therapy, but my creativity/productivity has regrettably taken a hit as a possible result? So even if I'm on indefinite hiatus, it's nice to know I've had a positive impact on at least one person somewhere down the line. Someday I'll get back into healthy habits and express through art more reliably again (I mean art has been my escape portal for most of my life)! Just gotta bust off the rust and focus/practice again, even if I'm anxious about all the work that requires. Anyway, I'm rambling: thank you so much!
#april rambles#wholesome asks#anonymous#text post#I'm literally an adult with a wiggly 4 year old toddler brain most days?#like it's always been there but now whatever I've done this last few years really unleashed it#I just need to find the motivation and courage to art again#mostly putting my hands in the dirt these days#I guess I've been more of a nature admirer than an artist I suppose#I just want to pay proper tribute and that's impossible#but you know that won't stop me trying#thanks to all of you who have stuck around
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what the FUCK is sentence structure⁉️⁉️🔥🔥💯
#ugh I dunno why but I really struggle with structuring my sentences to make like.actual sense#ESPECIALLY when texting xD#I HATEEE ITTTT#WHY CAN'T I BE GOOD AT WRITING IT'S THE ONE THING I ENJOY THAT I DON'T ENTIRELY SUCK AT AND EVEN THEN SENTENCES ARE HARDDD💔💔#I blame my lack of schooling :p#I haven't done like. proper schoolwork since..I dunno 8th?? grade so since I was 13-14#oh wells I gotta teach myself somehow#fr need to study up more on writing ESPECIALLY sentence structure and yk. the ability to make my phrases make sense#just need to find the motivation to do so :'D
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Yesterday I've been doing some proper physical exercise for the first time since last year and I'm just imagining how proud my f/os would be of me🥹
#it was just a 20 minute beginners home workout and I can feel every muscle in my body now but I think they'd be so happy I pushed through!#I've had particularly Heinz and Maximilian on my mind I think they would be sooo happy that I'm trying to take better care of myself💖#Heinz because he's always there anyway of course but I kind of imagine Max is probably overall the fittest out of my f/os#he seems like the kind of guy who'd want to be an example for his soldiers and always hold himself to the same standards as them#he'd be so supportive and cheer me on and be proud of me every time I get myself to do something😭💖💖#I've never particularly enjoyed doing sports (aside horse riding but in the past year I didn't have time anymore for that bc of uni😭😭)#so I didn't really do anything anymore after I finished school#I started doing simple home workouts last year but in winter my mental health went a little📉 and then I had no motivation to keep going#dunno how long I'll go through with it this time but better than nothing I guess#again with the home workouts lmao bc driving to the nearest gym ain't worth the time for me and I'd need some basic fitness first anyway#I'm doing it mainly for health reasons but this time I'm also motivated to actually get a bit stronger#I don't mind looking like a stick figure and I'm overall content with my body (maybe it could help me to look a bit more masc tho?👀👀)#but I know especially for my posture and such it would be good if my muscles were just a tad bit more developed#my mum was proud of me too when I told her about it hehe :) she works in healthcare she's always a little concerned#she's just a little worried about me getting health issues when I'm older that could be avoided by taking proper care of my body now#I get where she's coming from but it's not easy but at least I'm motivated to try again now :)#selnia talks
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just discussing PvP and the issues people r having with Blue hiding !! tagged discourse and crit to be safe but it isn't intentioned with either it's just me rambling
Okay I mained bads perspective yesterday but I keep seeing people say that Etoiles and Roier couldn't find anyone to kill for nine hours--and listen . Is it that they couldn't find ANYONE or that they didn't find who they WANTED to kill, because they did see Foolish and Cellbit didn't they? Two people in nine hours is SUPER ROUGH yes but they did run into red more than once and just didn't kill them so idk I'd be more into it if they really didn't see a single player for any time whatsoever but like. Just because they didn't see bad more than once ISNT the same; I think I just mainly take issue with the fact everyone is trying to give bad a hard time for not fighting while refusing to acknowledge the entire server wanted his head on a platter, why should he 1v12?? Like that's ridiculous how is that even content when he'd get curbstomped against that many people, every time people want to fight him it's only AFTER they gather at least four to six people to take him out like be realistic if you want to 1v1 id be like fuck yea but he knows that where there's one there's the rest of y'all not too far away I just do not get it he's not a coward he's using basic common sense (plus even when people offer a 1v1 they're ALWAYS in a vc telling their team where to go to jump him) that is there's One of him and An Entire Server who wants him Dead good as he is (and tbf i also disagree with etoiles calling their fight from the other day a 1v2 because it wasn't--it started as a 2v2 and fit ran because he almost died (I'm aware of the miscommunication btw I don't blame either of them!!! It really really sucks bc I'm sure etoiles could've escaped) but regardless it WAS a 2v2 that bad didn't even Want to take on initially, it would've stayed that way if fit had stuck around because he was going to die anyways ykwim but to say it was unfair when it didn't start off that way is eh 2 me mostly bc it sounds like they jumped Etoiles off guard as if Etoiles and Fit didn't engage them first) HOWEVER saying all that I think they really should try to encourage PVP in different ways than just "everyone go hunt down this one specific player" because then it's kind of just . Like that encourages that player to just hide because why would they fight that many people? Boosting the kill percentage helps but manhunts don't imo they'll just stay underground the whole time and I don't blame anyone who does outside of even Blue--like when Blue and Green were hunting Red, of course red is going to stay hundreds of blocks away to avoid PvP it's just numbers ykwim idk it's purgatory but when you being killed will set your entire team back because there's significantly less of you then everyone else I don't blame them really and I hope the admins can come up with a different way to try and get fights going
#qsmp#discourse#just to be safe but this isn't in any way meant to be neg or rude!!!!#qsmp purgatory#is this crit it's not meant to be#crit#also just in case#I mostly just want a better way to encourage PvP so it's more fun than chasing someone for your entire time and then running out#I saw some people say hunger games feasts would be a good idea and I like that a lot tbh#badboyhalo#this is in no way coherent I'm genuinely just rambling#also feel free to correct me regarding etoiles and roier finding people!!#my info on that mainly comes from the update accs and posts people made about their interactions with others#and I do fully agree regardless it's so annoying to search that long and only find two or three people it's absurd#but I don't think that's a blue team-bbh issue more than just there needs to be a proper reason to motivate players to take on the odds
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#tbh i draw them being cute a.lot but i need to draw them being very unhinged too my brain craves it but sadly. no proper idea nor motivation#at least for now. but yeahg. just dont wanna post the same type of stuff all over again ig??#homestuck intermission#the midnight crew#hearts boxcars#clubs deuce#hbcd#cdhb#art moment
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FANTASTIC NEWS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
i finished & posted the ITNL 14 re-edits, WHICH MEANS!!!!!!!!!!!!! i'm officially done with my re-edits project!!!!!!!!!! :D!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
ive been thinking a lot today about my plans for ITNL 15, AND i have tomorrow off, so if all goes well i'll be able to start writing again. TOMORROW !!!!!!!!!!!!!!
and if the chapter grips me like i expect it will then... hehehehehe
could be an update in as little as a few days, depending. i'll keep u guys updated
#speculation nation#itnl shit#im SO fucking ecstatic man ive been looking forward to this for a month and a half#that took SO much longer than i was expecting it to. but i guess editing 75k words while working full time is kind of a lot#it has been a journey. and it is now complete.#and now i can move on to the NEW THINGS!!!!!!!!! INCLUDING a chapter id been looking forward to for So Long#it's for the best that i went thru the whole fic again. itnl 14 was so hard to write bc i was just Not that mentally there with it#and also uh. The Everything.#i think 15 will be easier. MUCH easier. and im really looking forward to having proper writing motivation again.#AND......... IF ALL GOES WELL.............. i'll hopefully be able to ride that motivation train through the next few chapters#Which Means we could be seeing wolfwood in as little as a few weeks!!! maybe!!!!!!!!#i hope so !!!!!!!!!!! i wanna write him SO fucking bad#and like itnl IS a vw fic. it IS. i SWEAR. it's just mostly been grieving and pining from vash so far lksdjflsdjkfsdlkf#but it will have actual vw. eventually.#im like practically vibrating now but i need to go to sleep. so i can have the brain strength to write tomorrow hehehe#i took a melatonin to hopefully knock myself out soon. i GOTTA get some good rest tonight. for the Writing Brain.#and if i daydream about the start of next chapter.... hehehehe#more power to me then :]
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what’s up gang i have a job interview today and i’m nervous so i can’t sleep hahahaha
#it’s at 5pm so i have plenty of time to sleep#it’s just that this would be my first proper job so it’s a big deal#my mom motivated by telling me she got her first proper job at my age#and my friend told me i need to sell myself by talking about all the volunteering jobs i’ve done#which tbh they’re a big deal because i’ve had to work with people#so yeah it’s gonna be an interesting day#here’s to hoping!!!#if i don’t get it i have my eye on another place that’s also really good#there’s always options. but i really like this place. they have very flexible hours and with college it’s what i need. so i hope i get it#i’m actually gonna try to sleep so goodnight#logan.txt
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