#I will make proper content someday I promise……

[mitternacht]

I made a few more of these is this anything

[pumpkinspice-prouvaire]

pumpkinspice-prouvaire's required les mis fic reading list

enough of u supported me in my half asleep post asking about fic recs the other day so I am providing. If you want a deep look into my inner psyche this is also the list for that hehe. I tried to be strict about only including my absolute MUST READ fics that I adore and have read and reread and reread again multiple times. Also these will be mostly ExR, to no one's surprise. But there might be a few other ships and gen fics in there too. It's under the read more because this bitch is gonna get long

Auto-read authors:

I didn't wanna rec the same authors too many times in my list proper so these are the authors whose works I have read all (or nearly all) of multiple times. The authors whose tax returns I would read if they posted them on ao3. I will be featuring my favourite fics by them in the list

Fiver

dannyPURO

TheLibrarina

quillsand

Petr1chor

defractum

ShameDumpster

vamillepudding

revolutionbarbie

loverism (all of their fics are currently in a privated bookmark but I have faith that they will someday return. loverism if u see this I miss u)

Need_To_Comment_Rising

Multi-Chapter fics/Series/WIPs:

Under My Wings You Will Find Refuge- Fiver: (WIP) This is the most required reading of my required reading list. I can quote passages of this fic by heart. It's my roman empire. PLEASE check this one out if you haven't it is the best ExR fic in existence, it will change ur life I promise

Beneath a Dragon Moon- The Librarina: GOT AU, no GOT knowledge required. Lots of dramatic moments interspaced with some lovely tender ExR

Guided by a Beating Heart -torakowalski: my absolute FAVOURITE Enjolras centric angst fic. Lots of emotion, lots of friendship, will make you ugly sob

you and i walk a fragile line (is this the time it finally breaks)?- UnforgettableJoMarch: (WIP) I am so enjoying following along with this one. Heartbreaking plot with sublime execution and some brilliant lines, so looking forward to seeing this one develop

The Future's Owned By You and Me- quillsand: ENJOLRAS/FEUILLY ENJOLRAS/FEUILLY ENJOLRAS/FEUILLY WHAT MORE CAN I SAY. Absolutely fantastic rarer pair fic with as much (and maybe more) importance devoted to the activism as to the ship

Getting Fucked in Lingerie- downtheroadandupthehill: PWP. ahem. anyways.

(With a Jubilant Shout) They Will Come One and All- zade: PWP. AHEM. ANYWAYS.

True Blood AU-kjack89: Exactly what it sounds like. Vampire Grantaire and Human Enjolras shenanigans

words can be unwritten- defractum: my favourite soulmate au which makes me melt every time <3

Armillaria- RevocablePeril: THE MOST COURFIUS FIC OF ALL TIME. Lots of excellent Les Amis content in general. SUCH a good, massively underrated fic. 121 kudos??????????? You're all insane.

In An Age Without Heroes- ShitpostingfromtheBarricade: Gloryhole soulmates, the prison industrial complex, Oprah.

walls come tumbling down-reptilianraven: They're cute your honor. One of the only high school AUs I will abide by tbqh hehe

Oneshots:

What's a Bed Between Friends?- dannyPURO: if there's one thing you should know about me it's that I ADORE the there was only one bed trope

epiphany- Abidatchery: screaming crying throwing up that this isn't the fandom's most kudos'ed fic. Every word is expertly crafted and absolutely stunning

Vienna Roast- revolutionbarbie: cosy coffee shop au with a version of Enjolras we don't get to see but that I really enjoy

Out of Touch- ShameDumpster: LET ENJOLRAS GET LOVED YOU COWARDS

A Little More Lois Lane- stellatundra: Just a really funny and silly AU in which Grantaire is Superman

Love in a Coffee Shop-tellthemstories: an absolute fandom classic and rightly so. I've read this one so many times and every time there'll still be something that makes me laugh out loud

My anaconda don't want none (at all)-vamillepudding: v funny and sweet ace enj fic with hilarious triumvirate and exr dynamics

The Waiting is the Hardest Part-samyazaz: In this house, we absolutely love a sexy bet

Between Meetings and Midnight- PieceofCait: Enjolras cries after sex send tweet

A Bad Penny- PBJellie: Gay cowboys and sickfics are the ultimate combo for SURE

Leaves in the Void- myrmidryad: lots of emotion lots of friendship this one is so heavy but SO good you guys. It's also a Space AU I know we all love that <3

my heart's been borrowed (yours has been blue)-Petr1chor: P-tri is so good at writing fics where Enjolras is a complete dumbass and he wrote this one especially for me <3 <3 <3

fire in my hands- geode: This is my go to fic if I want a laugh. "Do you like parsnips?" "Yes they're my second favourite vegetable" iconic exchange god bless

I Would Do Anything For Love- Need_to_Comment_Rising: one of my fave ace Enjolras fics with lovely tender ExR. No I'm not biased because I worked on this series, don't be silly

Like Comfort, Like Solace, Like Relief- areyoumiserableyet: The sensation of coming home to the people you love after a long day <3

Don't Let Me Be Misunderstood- sonhoedesrazao: There should be more fics with oblivious to his own emotions Grantaire that's all I'm saying

Trying to Leave the Ground-barricadeur: rly comfy cosy smut fic

YAY ENJOY I'm gonna go lie down now god I hope I haven't forgotten anything lmfao

[voraciousvore]

Giganterra (Chapter 57)

Prologue/TOC | Previous (56) | Next (58)

Content Warning: Vore mentions, vulgar language

Word Count: 2.1k

------ Chapter 57: You're Mine Now ------

“Thank you for everything, Tanya. You’re so wonderful.” 

Tanya blushed. “You’re too kind, Ronny.” 

“I really mean it. I sincerely believe that you’ve made me a better man.” 

“You give me too much credit,” Tanya laughed. “Although I will concede, you’ve made a lot of progress since I first met you. You’re not a big whiny crybaby anymore!” 

“Hey!” Ronny protested, but the glimmer of fondness in his dark eyes set Tanya at ease. He smirked as he slicked back his black hair. “Well, you’re not entirely wrong.” 

Tanya wasn’t afraid of Ronny anymore. Despite his many flaws, he’d proven himself to be trustworthy. He’d kept his promise not to eat her under any circumstances, and he listened to her when she voiced her concerns. She could tell he was making a genuine effort to purge the worst habits instilled in him by his authoritarian father. The last thing he wanted was to become a clone of the man he despised. 

Ronny grew serious when he focused on his reflection in the mirror, as he buttoned up the collar of his fencing outfit. He had daunting expectations to live up to, but not the ones imposed by King Richard. Tanya, sitting on the surface of his dresser, looked up at his towering figure curiously. 

“I regret that we had to meet under these circumstances. I hope that when I someday become king, I can make things right for you and the other humans. You’ll help me, right? Having a human ally for proper diplomacy with Minimaterra would make a world of difference, when the day comes.” 

“Of course,” Tanya agreed. Ronny gently scooped her up off the desk into his palm and gave her a small kiss on top of her head. His heart warmed with tenderness. 

“I’ll be back after my fencing lesson,” he assured her, lowering her down into her home. As much as he would prefer to keep her close, he didn’t want her getting hurt during his physical skirmishes. He closed the roof, grabbed his mask and sword, and walked out. He met Joey outside in the courtyard and started his lesson. He was relieved to find that the squire appeared to be back to normal, and the tension between them had dissolved. 

The lesson was uneventful. As Ronny turned to leave, though, Joey piped up, “Wait, Your Highness!” 

Ronny turned around. “Hm?” 

Joey faltered slightly but didn’t back down. “If I may be so bold as to request an indulgence from you…” 

“Proceed.” 

Joey gulped. “Um… do you… remember that one human with the long black hair? The one that was in your lemonade that one time?” He lowered his head at the unpleasant memory. 

Ronny cocked a brow. “What about her?”  

“Can you… do you think I… could... um… see her again?” the squire requested, fiddling with his hands nervously. “I mean, if you ordered a specific human from the kitchen, that would be normal, right?” 

Ronny stared at the bashful squire thoughtfully. “I suppose… hmm…” He turned on his heel, examining the courtyard. He inhaled deeply and bellowed, “I REQUIRE A SERVANT!” 

As if by magic, two men materialized by his side within seconds. “Bring me a sandwich!” the prince demanded. “Garnished with a specific human. The one with the long black hair. Erm… please.” Joey raised his brows, surprised. He’d never once heard a royal say “please” before. 

The prince and the squire strolled through the garden and sat down on an elegant bench near the flowerbeds. One of the servants from earlier returned, carrying a platter with not only a sandwich but a few drinks and snacks. Chester proved the food was safe before Ronny shooed him and the other servant away, so that he was alone with Joey. A furious lump wriggled inside the sandwich. 

Ronny flicked off the top layer of bread and dug under the lettuce and tomato to extract the squirming human within. Eren was wrapped tightly in a slice of ham, cursing up a storm. Ronny, with a smirk, gripped the thin edge of the deli meat with his teeth and unrolled it. As soon as her arms were freed, Eren punched his digits angrily. 

“Relax, pipsqueak. I didn’t bring you out here to eat you,” Ronny claimed as he munched on the ham. She glared at him, unconvinced. “Actually, this guy wanted to see you.” He plopped her into Joey’s waiting hands.  

She spun around, not knowing whose hands she was in. “Joey!” Visible relief showed on her face. 

“Eren!” Joey exclaimed. “I worried about you, after… well, you know. I’m glad to see you’re unharmed.” He didn’t want to mention the weapon he gave her in front of Ronny. The joy he experienced, holding her delicate figure in his palm, was better than he imagined. 

“That’s sweet of you,” Eren replied, patting his finger. A mischievous grin spread across her face. “I succeeded, you know.” 

Joey blinked. “What?” 

“I slayed a giant! One of the asshole chefs who tormented me, no less!” She pumped her fist in the air triumphantly. 

“No way! Wow…” Joey said, gaping with shock. He wasn’t sure whether to share in her victory or be horrified that she murdered somebody. Although, she was certainly justified considering her position. He was thoroughly impressed by her epic feat. 

She looked back at Ronny. She felt bold and untouchable under Joey’s protection, and she couldn’t resist taking a jab at the giant prince.  “I was going to kill you instead!” she proclaimed, pointing her finger. Joey gasped at her audacity. “But you got sick that day. Plus, Chester knew, since he smelled the iron of my weapon. He would’ve stopped me.” 

“Wait, what?” Ronny uttered, turning a shade lighter. “You’re kidding…” 

“Nope,” Eren confirmed smugly, crossing her arms. 

Ronny sighed. He was reminded of his precious Tanya as he gazed down at the tiny woman. “I should apologize, Eren. For taunting you and mistreating you. And… eating you. I regret the things I’ve done in the past. I’m trying to do better and make amends, I really am. I’m sorry.” 

Joey and Eren gawked at Ronny with amazement. An apology from the haughty prince was unheard of. “Huh?” 

Ronny frowned. “What, nobody even noticed? I’m trying here!” He huffed. “I haven’t eaten any humans in weeks either! That’s not an easy thing to do when I’ve been raised on human meat for literally decades! It’s not so simple to just disregard those cravings! But I’m doing it, in disobedience to my father no less! He hasn’t noticed that I slip the humans into my sleeve or hide them on my plate with the scraps. Not yet, at least.” He bit his lip. He hoped that day would never come. 

“Hmph.” Eren crossed her arms, skeptical. Lately, Bucky had taken every opportunity to serve Eren to the king, the most vicious of predators, due to his vendetta against her from killing Gore. Thus, she hadn’t interacted much with Ronny. 

“I’m serious!” the prince argued. He recognized the absurdity of debating with a human that his past self would’ve popped in his mouth without a second thought, but now he felt a compulsion to justify himself. “When I become king, I’m going to work to make things right. I’ll release the humans and give them rights. And I’ll treat Minimaterra like an allied kingdom, rather than a conquered territory.” 

“I’ll believe it when I see it,” Eren commented, although she was heartened to hear the crown prince project a hopeful future. “Besides, that’s a long ways away. How long will it take for the current king to croak anyways?” 

Ronny grimaced. “I’m sure he’ll live a long, prosperous life,” he groaned. 

Eren grinned roguishly. “Let me at him. Give me the chance, and I’ll kill him!” 

“Eren!” Joey gasped. Without a second thought, he clutched her protectively to his body, fearful that she would be harmed for her seditious statement. Eren was startled to suddenly find herself enveloped in warmth, pressed to the soft folds of Joey’s clothing and cupped in his curled hand. In defiance of her pride, she blushed hard. 

Ronny felt an uneasiness tug at his bowels. He couldn’t deny that the forbidden thought, unspoken and unacknowledged, had crossed his mind before. However, he wasn’t able to bring himself to seriously consider such treachery. His mind instinctively recoiled from it, a reaction not unlike placing his hand on a hot stove and flinching back from the burn. He feared his father and what he was capable of. The king would find out and erase him from existence, just as he had done with Alessandro.  

Even if he did contemplate assassinating King Richard, the task seemed impossible. Ajax guarded him physically at all times, and Chester checked everything he ingested. Even if Ronny requested a private audience, his father was always on guard after the incident with Alessandro. He trusted nobody, not even his own children. His defenses were impenetrable, the weapons at his disposal formidable. He was a powerful and dangerous man. 

“Joey! I can defend myself!” Eren argued, jamming her elbow into the boundless plushness of his torso. 

“Sorry,” Joey said, his eyes darting back and forth from Ronny to Eren anxiously. “But you can’t say things like that! You’ll get yourself in trouble…” 

“Trouble’s my middle name!” Eren retorted with a grin, playfully punching his thumb. Ronny smirked at her cheeky response. He had to admit they were cute together, Joey and Eren. He could plainly see a fondness was developing between them. He stayed quiet and allowed them to banter with each other. Joey loosened up as he noticed that Ronny didn’t take Eren’s aggression seriously. 

While Ronny was out in the courtyard, Tanya waited inside her miniature home for him to come back. She was grateful for the amenities offered to her by the dollhouse, with furniture and rooms scaled to her size, but she preferred the freedom given to her by Ronny when he was present. Her heart fluttered when the door opened, but dropped like a stone into her stomach when she saw the giant entering the room wasn’t the prince. It was King Richard. 

He had a crazed look in his pale eyes that roved over the room, until they landed on Tanya. A bolt shot through her. She cried out and stumbled back from the glass. The king stretched his mouth into a ghastly leer and prowled over. He opened the roof with deliberate slowness, draping his inky shadow over the helpless human. 

“Well, what do we have here?” he purred. Tanya gulped, speechless with terror. The king’s massive face filled most of the ceiling space above her, but she could make out that his shirt collar was stained with blood. “How do you like it, being Ronny’s favored little pet? Hmmm?” 

Tanya couldn’t speak, couldn’t move, could hardly even breathe. She felt like an ant under a magnifying glass with the hot sun glaring down in a focused ray. The king seemed to expect this, though, as those large, unsettling eyes of his drifted over her, violating her despite the lack of physical touch. She wanted to sink into the carpet and disappear, but she was stuck, completely exposed and powerless. 

“You know, I usually prefer blondes… but you are quite beautiful, with your glossy locks and exotic skin. I bet you’d taste amazing too.” His tongue briefly darted out to slither over his thin lips. Tanya’s skin crawled as if she were covered in spiders. The king, unable to resist her charm, snaked his hand down towards her. Tanya yelped and shot back, but the enormous fingers effortlessly snagged her dress and lifted her high into the air. 

“Somebody, help me! RONNY!” Tanya shrieked in desperation. 

Hardon dangled her close to his enormous eyes, light blue like a frozen tundra, studying her with delight. “Forget Ronny. You’re mine now.” Tanya’s screams were muffled as the king fully encased her in his fist. She trembled helplessly within the dreadful prison of skin. The king’s thudding footsteps vibrated through her as he sauntered off with his new plaything, underscoring the enormity of his presence. 

Her vitality drained away as immeasurable horror clamped down on her. She was in serious peril, and nobody would be able to save her from the clutches of the giant king. Not even Ronny. 

Chapter 58

[astra-ella]

𝐙𝐎𝐄𝐓𝐑𝐎𝐏𝐄 - 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐟𝐢𝐧𝐚𝐥 𝐜𝐨𝐧𝐟𝐞𝐬𝐬𝐢𝐨𝐧

fandom: haikyuu ship: nishinoya yuu x oc/reader status: complete ao3 link

"I think you're really pretty. Will you go out with me?" That was the first thing he's ever said to her. And needless to say, Amari Chiyo was not impressed. So as promised, Nishinoya Yuu will get to know her better and confess again. And again. And again. And again. It'll take 6 years and 9 confessions, but he'll get there. Eventually.

⌦ content: fluff, light angst, love at first sight, friends to lover, slice of life, haikyuu manga spoilers

⌦ note: stay tuned, because there are two extra stories after this one. an epilogue and a side story!

story masterlist | previous chapter | a side story (coming soon)

The final confession was on the last day of school — under the cherry blossoms after their graduation ceremony.

Chiyo was on her way home, carrying both her school bag and black certificate tube when a soft breeze blew by. She stopped in her tracks, holding her hair back to prevent it from being whisked up alongside the rain of pink petals. Her gaze followed a few flew toward the sun.

The ceremony went by relatively quickly. They walked the stage, sang the school anthem, then the student council president gave a farewell speech as a representative of the graduating students.

When Chiyo went on stage to receive her diploma, she was surprised to see her father sitting at the back of the gym, amongst the sea of parents with the proudest grin she’s ever seen. He had taken the morning off to be present at this major milestone in his daughter’s life. But alas, money didn’t make itself and the Amari family still needed to eat. So after a few heartfelt words, taking a couple of photos and giving her the tightest hug humanly possible, Chiyo’s father was back in the car on his way to work. 

Being a graduate meant she also had a half-day of school. So after seeing her father off, Chiyo spent some time with her friends and classmates. They took pictures with the teachers, signed each other’s yearbooks and spent their last hour or so reminiscing on the past three years they’d spent together. In which Chiyo spent most of her time wiping away her friends’ snot and tears with tissues.

Once the midday mark hit, her classmates said their final goodbyes. Everyone made promises that this wouldn’t be the last time they got together. She then went to go find Nishinoya, catching a glimpse of him and the other graduates in the volleyball gym, giving a few last words of encouragement and advice to their underclassman.

She hesitated at first, but in the end, decided to head home on her own. He was going to come over for dinner anyways and he deserved time to say a proper goodbye to the volleyball team he loved so much.

Chiyo squinted a little, holding a hand against her eyes to block out the glaring sunlight. She thought of her classmates and friends – people she’s grown accustomed to seeing every day. Soon, that routine will change and those people will melt into a distant memory. Maybe they’ll be dug up once or two per year to gather and reminisce over drinks and dinner. But otherwise, they will remain just that — a memory. A memory that’ll contribute to shaping who she’ll become in the future.

She then thought of Nishinoya. Unlike most of her classmates and friends, she’s known him for far longer. Sure, he will probably still drop by for dinner every now and then. But without the excuse of school and tutoring sessions, they probably wouldn’t be able to see each other as often as they used to. Someday, would Nishinoya become nothing but a distant memory as well? 

A pain began to swell within her chest.

Chiyo took a deep breath. She was about to shake off those nagging thoughts and continue on her way when a familiar voice suddenly called out to her from behind.

“Hey!”

Chiyo spun around, to see Nishinoya sprinting towards her at full speed with his messenger bag and certificate tube. He stopped in front of her, hunching over with his hands on his knees.

“Yuu?” Her eyes were wide.

“You… You just ran off!” Nishinoya panted, wiping some sweat from his chin. “I thought we were going to your place.”

“For dinner, tonight.” Chiyo raised an eyebrow. “It’s only midday. You can go home, you know.”

“But there’s nothing to do at home,” Nishinoya pouted as he stood up straight, readjusting his messenger bag over his shoulder. “We also don’t have any food. Well, we don’t have any instant noodles but you get the point.”

“My house isn’t a restaurant, Yuu.”

“See, you always say that but you end up feeding me anyways,” Nishinoya grinned cheekily.

“Fine,” heaving a sigh, she turned on her heel and began to walk. “What do you want?”

“Yaki udon!” Nishinoya cheered, following after her with a fist pump.

“Alright, alright,” Chiyo chuckled at his enthusiasm. “Can you pick Hotaru and Kaito up from school then? I wanna clean the house  before dinner.”

“Yeah, of course,” he nodded. “What are we having by the way?”

“Sushi. Dad said he’ll get some on the way home.”

“Oh, is Amari-san coming home early tonight?”

“Yeah,” a small smile grew on her face. “He was at the ceremony too.”

“Oh, I saw! He said hi to me as we were heading back to our classrooms,” he then stretched his arms upwards with a satisfied sigh. “Man, Eguchi-san’s speech was great.”

Chiyo's face fell.

“Especially that part about how life is like a song, except it’s all jumbled up. And graduating is getting the melody straight so we can spend the rest of our lives figuring out the lyrics. It’s such a great, erm…” He snapped his fingers. “What’s the word for that again?”

“Metaphor.”

“Yeah, that!” Nishinoya nodded. “Anyways, it was great! Super inspirational. But I guess that’s the student council prez for you.”

Chiyo’s eyes flickered to the ground. She stayed silent for a moment longer before finally asking, “So, what are your plans now?”

“I told you already, didn’t I?” Nishinoya raised an eyebrow. “I’m gonna keep working at gramps’ bike shop for a while to save up money.”

“I mean your travel plans, dummy.”

“Oh, that!” He laughed. “Right, I haven’t told you where I’ve decided yet. My first destination will be…” He rolled his tongue for a bit to imitate the sound of a drumroll. “... Peru!”

Chiyo dropped her school bag.

“South America?” She stopped and stared at him. “That’s… pretty far.”

“Well, I figured I might as well strike big on my first step, you know?” Nishinoya stopped a little ahead of her, glancing back with a huge grin. “Go big or go home!”

There was a brief pause.

“...Sounds exciting,” when Chiyo finally spoke, her voice was quiet yet honest. “It’s very… you.”

“Thanks!” Nishinoya then turned his attention toward the blue skies above and let out a deep sigh. “This is it then, huh? Like Eguchi-san said in her speech, it feels like the end of an era.”

Chiyo’s lips parted.

There it was again - that pain in her chest. That nagging fear that one day, Nishinoya would grow out of her reach, like the fleeting pink petals caught in a breeze. Her hands clammed up around the plastic certificate tube.

“I like you.”

The words came out before she even had the time to process them and Nishinoya’s eyes went wide.

“What?” His words were barely audible as he turned to face her fully.

“I said I like you.”

“Chiyo-”

“I know,” before he even had the chance to respond, Chiyo cut him off and covered her face. “I know this is selfish of me. And I know it’s unfair 'cause you’ve asked me out so, so many times but I just…” She could feel her nose sore. “I don’t know…. I just… I didn’t think I deserved all that time and energy you wasted on me all these years.”

“And I also knew you wanted to travel the world and that just… it just wasn’t in my plans for the future,” she crouched down, trying to hold back the tears that stung at the rim of her eyes. “I was supposed to stay in Japan for the rest of my life. Get into some big corporate company and slave away until I die. So we would’ve been long distance. Like super long distance… I just… I can’t handle that. But now things are different and I…” she choked. “I can’t imagine a future without you.”

The cherry blossoms rustled as Chiyo pressed the base of her palms into her eyes to stop the tears from leaking out.

“It’s okay if you don’t like anymore,” she whispered. “It’s okay if you’ve moved on. I just want you to stay in my life, even if it’s-”

But before she could finish that sentence, a pair of arms were thrown around her neck, toppling her over as she gasped in surprise. Chiyo tensed at first, only to relax when she realized what was happening.

“Yuu?”

“Say it again,” he murmured into the crook of her neck.

“Huh?”

“Say it again please.”

Chiyo blinked as a tear rolled down her cheek. Did he not hear her?

“I-It’s okay if you don’t like me anymore-”

“No, not that part,” Nishinoya shook his head, pulling back to stare her dead in the eye. “That part’s irrelevant. Never gonna happen. I mean how you feel about me. I wanna hear it again.”

A surge of heat rose to her face as Chiyo realized what he was implying. She dropped her head.

“I… like you,” after a moment of trying to calm her rampant emotions, she finally managed to squeeze those words out as she met his gaze once more.

“I like how outgoing you are…” She continued to speak as Nishinoya pressed his palms to her cheeks. “I like how kind and funny you are. I like how you can cheer anyone up, just by being yourself. I like how you always do your best to help other people. I like how you can always push forward with a smile,” her eyes crinkled. “I really really like you, Yuu-”

Through her rambling, she failed to notice Nishinoya slowly leaning in with every word. But once she finally did, his lips had already crashed against hers like a gentle wave. Chiyo’s eyes grew wide with surprise as warmth blossomed in her chest.

Nishinoya smelled faintly of sweat and oxidized metal. And combined with the smell of sulfur from his shampoo, it was almost dizzying. His lips were wet and a little stiff, but before Chiyo could fully process what was happening, she let her eyes fall shut and kissed him back.

After what felt like an eternity, Nishinoya slowly pulled away. “That’s good,” his voice was barely a whisper. “Cause I really really like you too.”

At his gentle words, Chiyo’s heart swelled. Her nose was all stuffed up and she could barely breathe, but this was the most exhilarated she’s felt for as long as she could remember. Her blue eyes started to water once more as she pursed her lips.

“Hey, hey,” Nishinoya’s face flooded with panic once he noticed the tears brimming the corner of Chiyo’s eyes. He jumped back, letting go of her and holding his hands in the air as if he’s done something wrong. “Oh god, I’m sorry. Please don’t cry. I don’t know what came over me, you just looked so cute so I wanted to kiss you and-”

“No, you idiot,” Chiyo laughed a little between hiccups, rubbing the moisture away with the sleeve of her uniform blazer. “These are happy tears.”

“Really?” Nishinoya blinked, relaxing a little once she nodded. “Alright. Cause I was gonna ask if I can kiss you again.”

Chiyo glanced at him. For a moment, her gaze wandered from left to right, as if she were afraid to be spotted by someone on this secluded street. But she then bit her bottom lip and turned to face him straight on. She rested a hand against his cheek and guided his lips towards hers for another kiss.

This time, it was soft and chaste. Perhaps Nishinoya had already gotten used to the sensation and adapted accordingly. There were no sparks flying or booming fireworks like in the movies or mangas, just a simple spring breeze that weaved through her hair. But to Chiyo, it was more than enough. It was simple, sweet and intimate.

It was all she could’ve asked for. 

When they separated, Nishinoya leaned forward to rest his forehead against hers. And to her surprise, his cheeks were dusted a light pink like the cherry blossoms swaying overhead.

“So what’s the plan?” He placed his hands over hers on the concrete roads. “Did you wanna come with me?”

Chiyo nodded. “I’m thinking I wanna become a food journalist,” she said, studying the faint twinkle in his brown eyes. “I want to travel and write about all the different kinds of delicious food the world has to offer,” she paused for a bit. “Then someday, when I’m older, I want to settle down somewhere. Maybe in Japan, maybe somewhere far, far away.”

She hesitated a bit but Nishinoya squeezed her hand as if encouraging her to continue.

“And I wanna try maybe opening a… restaurant.”

Nishinoya’s entire face brightened.

“That sounds like a great plan,” his response was as swift and sincere as ever. “It’s very you.”

“Thanks,” Chiyo chuckled but her face quickly fell as a looming sense of anxiety took over. “Do you… think it’s possible?” She asked nervously and Nishinoya shrugged.

“Who knows,” he hummed, slowly standing up and dusting off the dirt and flower petals that stuck to his pants. After making sure they were clean, he then extended a hand down towards her with a smile that rivaled the shimmering sun.

“But we can find out. Together.”

Chiyo’s eyes widened.

Growing up, Amari Chiyo always thought she had to have the answers to everything. It was drilled into her head as a child and enforced upon her by herself as a teen. She was the eldest daughter. It was her responsibility to lead by example and live a well-planned and stable life.

But when Nishinoya walked into her life, it felt like a hurricane tearing through a perfectly organized stack of papers.

And for the first time, she began to look forward. She began to have hopes and dreams of a future. Not a future for others, nor to set an example, but a future for her and her only.

And while it was still scary to not live by a perfectly planned script. For the first time, she was okay with that. 

Placing her hand in his, Chiyo smiled as he pulled her up to her feet.

“Yeah,” she grinned. “That sounds great!”

She was grateful to Nishinoya. For calling out to her after school, for helping her find Hotaru on that rainy afternoon, for getting to know her so wholly and sincerely, and for encouraging her to follow her own path.

She wondered how she could make him happy. Someone who was so aware, yet oblivious at the same time. Perhaps a simple hug and kiss would do, or perhaps she could try and gift him the mountains and oceans they would one day travel together.

“Come on,” still holding her hand, Nishinoya pointed in the direction of her house. “Let’s go home!”

But for now, she knew a large bowl of her homemade yaki udon would do just fine.

story masterlist | previous chapter | a side story (coming soon)

[satansapostle6]

Lovers and Liars | Draco Malfoy

Draco Malfoy and Theodore Nott, both determined and resourceful from reputable houses, find themselves at odds in the name of love.

Warning: Mature themes/language. Violence. Sexual content.

Chapter Twenty-Five

Chapter Twenty-Six: Pride And Ignorance

“I don’t get it. It’s not working!”

Draco scowled as he stood in front of the Vanishing Cabinet at Hogwarts. He and Lorelei had snuck into the Room of Requirement on the seventh floor first thing after dinner, hoping to begin mending the broken cabinet. But naturally, things did not initially go as the two had hoped. So far, they had already been working for at least several hours.

“Patience, darling,” Lorelei reminded him, “The repairs will take a while. Remember?”

“We don’t have ‘a while’,” Draco Malfoy spat as he tried to diagnose the problem.

“We have an entire school year. That should give us enough time to call it a night for now, don’t you think?” she attempted to reason with him.

Draco huffed dismissively. “I need to figure out which parts are defective.”

“Well, we’ve already found three,” Lorelei supplied patiently, “I think that puts us ahead of schedule, don’t you?”

She frowned as Draco refused to listen.

“No.”

“Draco,” Lorelei stopped him, turning him around.

He looked at her with genuine frustration in his eyes. She found that, if she hadn’t whipped him around where he stood, he wouldn’t have looked at her at all.

“We’ve been at this for hours. It’s late. We have school tomorrow; we’d best get some rest. We can come back here the minute classes are over; we still have plenty of time,” she said soothingly, his face in her hands. “Please. Let’s just go to bed.”

Lorelei kindly waited a while as her words began to sink in, and Draco’s expression finally softened.

“I’m sorry,” he apologized.

“You’ve nothing to be sorry for,” she assured him.

“I need this to work, Lorelei,” Draco looked at her with a scared, broken look in his eyes. “We need this to work.”

“I know,” she whispered, sympathetic as he dropped his head on her shoulder.

Lorelei frowned as she gently stroked his hair, allowing him a proper cry as he began to panic.

“If I can’t kill the old man, we’re done for,” he sobbed, “Don’t you understand? If I fail, our future, that we want, our family, is in jeopardy!”

“Nothing’s in jeopardy yet, my prince,” Lorelei Morrigan whispered faithfully. “So far, we’re doing great. You’re doing great. Soon enough, the Dark Lord will have faith in us, and we’ll be back in his good graces. Your father will come home, and everything will be just fine.”

“How can you be so sure?!” Draco asked as he stood up straight, unable to calm himself.

“Because, together, you and I can face anything,” she insisted. “We’ll destroy anything that stands in our way. With our two minds put together, nothing will stop us. You’re brilliant, Draco, and you know I am, too.”

He stared at her for a moment, unsure of what to make of his current predicament.

“I can’t thank you enough,” he sniffled, a sense of bitterness in his tone. “Everyone else around me’s failed me… Except for you.”

“You know I want nothing more than for the two of us to succeed.”

“This is no way for us to live… I want to live in the universe where we have a proper life,” Draco mused, “We could have a proper wedding, and a proper family. You’d be my wife, and we’d have the Manor, and children. We’d have it all.”

“Yes. We will,” Lorelei promised him, taking his hands in hers. “In this universe.”

Draco looked at her with uncertainty, hardly able to imagine that his deepest desires could someday be realized. “You really think so?”

She nodded. “Yes, Draco. I do.”

“I love you,” he said finally, tears in his eyes. “More than anything.”

“I love you,” she sighed, holding him in her arms.

“I have to keep you and Mother safe… You’re all I have,” he sniffled, face hidden in the crook of her neck.

“You’re all I have too,” Lorelei said, thinking of her parents hiding away most likely on some other continent.

As Lorelei and Draco snuck out of the Room of Requirement, the door becoming a normal wall once again, they noticed too late that they weren’t alone in the hall. Waiting there right outside the door was Professor Snape. Draco’s jaw clenched the moment he saw their Head of House.

“Mr. Malfoy,” Snape said coolly, “Miss Morrigan. What are we up to this evening?”

“None of your business,” Draco said stiffly, straightening his jacket.

“I think it’s entirely my business, Draco.”

“I think you’re a trifling old codger who can’t mind his own business,” Draco retaliated impulsively.

Lorelei’s eyes widened as she tried her best to save him from himself. Unfortunately, that never seemed to work with Malfoy men.

“Draco!” she hissed, mortified. “I’m sorry, Professor, he’s in a bad mood!” she glared at her boyfriend.

Lorelei half expected Professor Snape to light the both of them on fire where they stood, but he seemed uncomfortably even-tempered instead. Lorelei watched as Snape slowly stepped forward, his large black cloak flowing beneath him almost like a Dementor. There was no discernible emotion on the new Defense Against the Dark Arts professor’s face as he towered over Draco.

“Given your current circumstances, Malfoy, I will allow you one instance of insubordination. You’ve just used it up,” he warned, cold beady eyes fixated on Draco.

“I’m not afraid of you,” Draco maintained.

Lorelei turned to look at him in disbelief. “You’re not?” she said through gritted teeth.

“No,” Draco said coolly, not taking his eyes off of Snape. “And I have no idea what ‘circumstances’ you’re referring to.”

“Sure you don’t,” Severus Snape disregarded his lies, “Now, Mr. Malfoy… You and I both know that this year at Hogwarts, you’re in over your head as far as extracurriculars are concerned. But, if you allow me to, I might be able to help lighten the load, provided you pay me the respect that I deserve.”

Lorelei immediately understood what Snape was offering, fully aware that Draco was, in fact, in over his head, and needed all the help he could get. But unfortunately, Draco was the only one who seemed unaware of this.

“Professor, believe me when I say, I haven’t the faintest idea what you’re talking about, and even if I did, I certainly wouldn’t want any help from the likes of you,” he insisted on angering the former Potions Master any way he could. “After all… who would want to be in cahoots with the Dark Lord’s double agent?” he challenged.

“As usual, Malfoy, you have no idea what you’re talking about,” Snape provided, “But because I seem to have to, I will prove to you once again that I am a friend to you, relatively speaking. I will not only allow you the kindness of ignoring every single one of your insolent attempts at being domineering, but I will also advise you not to fall victim to the many arrogant pitfalls that seem to plague the Malfoy men. Need I remind you, Draco, that pride is a sin we all must overcome?”

Lorelei watched as Draco drew his wand, seething as he backed Snape into the wall.

“Don’t you dare talk about my father,” Draco hissed, war ready.

“The very fact that you assume that that was my intention speaks volumes,” Snape retorted, almost sounding bored. “Now, stop playing these childish games and tell me what it is you’re doing so that I might shed some light on your current predicament, Malfoy.”

“Why should I trust you?” he demanded again.

“Are you stupid?” Snape snarled.

“Why should I trust the Dark Lord’s least faithful servant?” Draco spat.

“Might I remind you that, in civilized society, alignment with the Dark Lord isn’t necessarily favorable?”

“Excuses. You’re all nothing but excuses,” Draco snapped. “When I succeed, when… It’ll be on my own, because I paved my own way. None of you will have had any part in my success, and it’ll be that much more enjoyable to watch you all watching me from the sidelines. The honor will belong to no one but me, and Lorelei. Goodnight, Professor,” Draco concluded, as Lorelei silently followed him as he stormed off.

She silently glanced back at Professor Snape, who only stared at her as she went off with Draco to bed. They retired together to his singular dorm room as Slytherin Prefect, trying to sleep but not necessarily succeeding. Eventually, it seemed that that night, she and Draco definitely hadn’t been great at ensuring they had gone unseen. The next morning, Lorelei had a headache trying to justify Draco’s execution of the plan.

Throughout breakfast at the Slytherin table, neither of them could enjoy any semblance of peace. They both sat silent next to one another, lost in their own world of worries and bitternesses as they gingerly sipped juice and irritably picked at plates. Blaise had of course picked up on this foul disposition the moment he sat down to eat his breakfast, beginning to question his choice in seating as well as friends. But it wasn’t Blaise that Lorelei had to worry about that morning. It seemed that once again, an old foe elected to rear his ugly head.

“Malfoy. Lorelei.”

Draco and Lorelei stopped in the middle of the corridor on their way to their first class of the day, already in a sour mood before Theodore Nott even made an appearance. Lorelei silently prayed this wouldn’t end in fisticuffs.

“What do you want, Nott?” Draco questioned, already confrontational. “I’m not in the mood.”

Theo smiled as he approached the couple, determined to show Draco up with his nice uniform and silver rings.

“This won’t take long, then,” Theodore nodded. “Just thought I’d inform you two that I know what the Dark Lord has entrusted you with, Draco,” he said brazenly.

Lorelei looked around, paranoid, as Draco stepped up toward him, refusing to back down from nothing.

“Congratulations,” the blond scowled, “You hear that from your mum over fucking tea?”

Theodore chuckled softly. “Your wit, Draco, is unmatched. Truly. It’s no wonder Lorelei’s so taken with you.”

It was Lorelei’s turn to scowl as she stood by Draco’s side. She hated how easily angered Draco could be, but she refused to allow Theo to undermine their dynasty that they had sought out to establish.

“I’m unmatched, Nott,” Draco promised him, “Make one more crack about my girlfriend, and the next thing to crack’ll be your skull.”

“Ooh, not very friendly,” Theo teased. “Seems unfair you immediately go to threaten me, when all I have for you is a friendly warning.”

“Oh yeah?” Lorelei spoke up. “What could you possibly have to warn us about?”

The question seemed to only encourage him. Theo smiled as he looked into her cold blue eyes, before landing back on Draco.

“I’ll tell you one last time, Malfoy. Lorelei will be my wife. That’s not a threat, or a challenge, or whatever your poor excuse for a mind will fathom it to be,” Theodore continued, “It’s simply a fact.”

Lorelei glared at him with a spite that she knew was older than herself, or anything else, for that matter. It was an age old anger instilled in her by forces she knew she would never understand. Never again would she stand by Theodore Nott’s side. Never again would she stand in the shadow of a man less brilliant than she was.

“Lorelei, you may refuse to see it now, but I am the one who can give you want you want,” Theo insisted. “At my side, you could be a queen.”

“At your side, I’m nothing,” she assured him.

“You know that’s not true,” Theo said softly. “You know I can give you so much more than he can. You know, deep in your heart, that you’d much rather marry me,” he argued.

“I will never marry you,” Lorelei vowed with hatred. “And I don’t say so out of spite. I say so because I’ve grown. I will never again be stupid enough to think you truly love me, Theo. You don’t know how.”

“You might be right. Perhaps love isn’t my strong suit,” he offered. “But revenge is.”

Draco huffed quietly as he stood in front of him in the empty corridor, begging for a reason to use his wand.

“Your destruction is coming whether you see it or not, Draco,” Theodore ensured passionately, “But where you happen to be when it comes is entirely up to you, Lorelei.”

She listened to his words, silently pondering whether or not he was worth an Unforgivable Curses.

“I hope that you would have the foresight to see Draco for the lost cause he is,” Theo confessed, “But, honestly…”

There was an ugly gleam in his eyes as he looked right at Lorelei, practically gazing into her soul with the ugliest parts of hair

“I also hope that I’ll get the pleasure of destroying you both,” Theodore Nott mused with a sadistic grin on his face. “I will find out what you two are planning, and I will rain on that parade. The Dark Lord will know my name; and yours will fade away into nothing but whispers.”

Theo’s face was now only inches from Draco’s, and Draco could see every bit of madness in his enemy’s eyes. Of course, Theodore Nott was an obsessive, conniving individual, but Draco knew that he would sooner die than allow him to have the last laugh.

“Trust me, Nott. Those whispers will haunt you forever,” Draco murmured, eyes dark with malice. “You can plot against me all you want, but I’m still the one Lorelei chose.”

Theo laughed in his face. “There are more important things to me than some girl.”

Draco could hardly contain himself.

“I’ll kill you, Theodore. Don’t think I won’t.”

“I’d like to see you try,” Theo said lightly.

“He won’t have to if you come after us,” Lorelei finally spoke up, stepping up beside Draco. “If you get in our way, I will end you myself. Goodbye, Theo.”

Lorelei walked off, and Draco followed angrily. He glanced back at Theo, glaring before he placed his hand on Lorelei’s back, silently praising her undying loyalty.

-

Chaoter Twenty-Seven

[spumonibones]

Chasing Wings: Memoria, Chapter 25

Pairing: Xiao x Venti

First Chapter (Ao3) ; First Chapter (Tumblr)

Previous Chapter | Next Chapter

Chapter CW: Canon compliant violence

Update Schedule: Currently on Hiatus - Recent Lore Drop messed with the story, and I'll be making a proper update about that when I have time.

Lore/Story Notes: Thought I'd do a quick update before the XVX Festival this weekend. You should totes check it out, lots of amazing artists, writers, etc will be there!

***

Guili Plains was a different place at night. Hidden in paths long since buried by nature from disuse, the rare glaze lilies would bloom to admire the moon. The last time Venti had come here at night, there had been a distraction. A content sigh left Venti as he thought over how, slowly but wonderfully, his memories of Xiao were containing more with the yaksha’s smiles. That earlier, in spite of a busy day, Xiao had stopped by each chance he could get just to say hello. Just to reassure both Venti and himself that he would always be able to return. That a little room in Wangshu Inn was there to embrace Xiao with each entrance. Last the pair spoke, Xiao promised to return before morning. It didn’t matter that Venti rarely woke in the morning, only that the pair were together on yet another new day.

With Xiao on his mind, Venti decided to return to Guili Plains. To see the ruins and rubble that remained, preserved to the extent they could be. Though he was not from Liyue, standing in the grass with glowing blue petals in full bloom, Venti could feel how deep the memories around him ran. Closing his eyes, felt the wind on his face, winding through his hair, and against his clothes. The air was cool, and carried with it the mingling scents of life. Cupped his hands behind his ears, and listened. The grass beneath the feet of nocturnal creatures, the distant and murmured conversations between Hilichurls that were keeping watch. Fainter, were the songs on the breeze. The ones that traveled across Teyvat, collecting every beat and note and lyric along its journey. The orchestra of seven nations weaving a tapestry of music that perhaps someday, even he could play for others to hear.

Not tonight, however. Tonight, he was listening for that which was quiet and distant, buried beneath time. That which was buried by the very Dust that it belonged to. Instead, he heard the sound of footsteps, slow, careful, and uneven. The walk of someone on unsteady feet, but had since learned how to carry themselves. Letting his hands fall to his side, Venti opened his eyes to look in the direction of the passing stranger. An elderly woman was looking right back at him, dark eyes peering at him. Her back was stooped forward, hands clasped behind her back. Silver hair tied back in a low bun, she had a shawl over her dress that moved listlessly in the wind. What’s an old woman doing out here at night…? Venti wondered, glancing around to try and find a mode of transportation. With the way she had moved and a body bent with kyphosis, he couldn’t imagine she just walked there.

“My my, I don’t often have company on my strolls.” The elderly woman commented, the wrinkles around her eyes with years of smiling that extended to even the present as her lips curved. “Let alone anyone from Monstadt.” She continued, having taken note of the other’s attire.

“...You come here a lot?” Venti asked, hesitating. “Did you walk here?” The question left his mouth before he could stop it, but what was said was said. The woman showed no signs of offense, only confusion in her eyes that she swiftly hid with pleasant laughter.

“Not all the way.” The woman chuckled, and walked casually over to stand next to him. Her eyes were now scanning the land around them, gaze soft and thoughtful. “Walking keeps me young. But the trip from Liyue Harbor takes too long on two legs, so I catch a ride when I want to visit.” She explained, and Venti started to feel better. The idea of an elderly person collapsing in an empty field, unable to call out for help. It sounded awful, until he reminded himself there was always someone in Liyue listening out for calls of, 'help.' “You, however, look rather young. Don't look exactly scholarly, either.” She gave him a playful glance, and he grinned at her having caught the teasing retaliation. “What brings you out to a bunch of old rocks?”

“Isn't Liyue founded by an old rock?” Venti asked, a laugh leaving him before his body tensed. That was not an acceptable way to discuss an Archon, let alone one in front of their citizens! But the woman didn't get upset - in fact, she let out loud laughter, her cackling carrying into the night.

“Oh, I haven't heard that kind of joke in years.” The woman let out a long, pleased sigh that instead of causing her to sag, almost seemed to help straighten. “I've missed it…” She whispered, tone somber. Venti watched her, curious about the reaction and who in her life got away with teasing Rex Lapis. “Still, that doesn't answer my question.” She noted, watching him from the corner of her eyes. Deep, dark eyes of black that glinted from the moon and hinted at perhaps being older than that very moon.

“Heh, I haven't?” Venti inquired, scratching the back of his head as he feigned forgetting. “I just… Enjoy listening to nature.” A half-truth, designed to easily sidestep divulging information he probably shouldn't share. Especially with strange little old ladies. “Would you like to join me, Nameless Stranger?”

“Hmm.” The old woman tilted her head, thoughtful. “Stranger… I see.” The words were quiet, and would have been lost were it not for Venti's well-trained ears.

Do I… Know you? The bard wondered, the question hovering whether he should ask or not.

“I'm Madame Ping. What might I call you, Nameless Bard?” She asked, eyes never once leaving him. A question in her eyes when Venti stood momentarily rigid, unsettled by the well of emotions and a strange pressure in his skull hearing himself called, ‘Nameless Bard.’ Something both horribly wrong, yet painfully accurate. Did she know him?

“Oh… Uh…” It was funny. Until right then, Venti had absolute confidence in his name, in who he was. But suddenly, it was pulled out from beneath him and he couldn't recall his name anymore. As though a dandelion seed caught in the wind, only it carried his identity instead of a wish. Then, an odd heat pulsed from his chest, from the spot of the strange scar, and the brief crisis passed.

“Is everything all right?” Madame Ping asked, concern on her face.

“Yes, sorry.” Venti assured her, hand on his forehead as he once more knew who he was. Or… Thought who he was. “I'm Venti.”

“Venti.” Madame Ping repeated, and then gave a nod. “A good name.” She decided, a thought she wasn't afraid to share. “Dear Venti, would you be kind enough to keep me company? I won't talk your ear off, you can listen to the night. It just gets… Lonely.” As she spoke, those dark eyes were back to staring at a memory only she could see. A time when this place hadn't been lonely. When there were people or a person that walked with her across these plains.

“I'd love to.” Venti smiled, and even offered her his arm. This time she let out a delighted laugh, and she accepted the limb with a loose hold of her hands. “And you can talk. I have two ears - one for the night songs, and one for the stories people carry.”

“Hah! Well how do I argue against that!” Madame Ping grinned, and the two began a slow walk through Guili Plains. As they strolled, Madame Ping recounted tales of her youth. Some funny, others sad. There was a familiarity about her, and as she shared her fondest recollections with him Madame Ping became brighter, almost younger. As if there was a piece of her desperate to come out, but the woman held it back for some reason.

Madame Ping knew so much, and the more he listened the more her words comforted him. They were reassuring in the way of two old friends catching up, sharing all the exaggerations of life between the last visit. An amenity that made this strange woman so easy to put his faith in.

“I couldn't help but notice you mention you used to compose songs,” Venti started, felt her eyes on him for the first time since the two began to walk, “And even argued with a friend about music. When you were studying, did you… Ever come across an old lullaby?” He held his breath after he said that, hoping his question wasn't a mistake.

“An old lullaby.” Madame Ping repeated, the eyes watching him now staring through him. “I've learned many old lullabies in my time. Do you know the tune? I might recognize it if you hum it.” Unable to find the harm this could do, Venti did as she asked. Hummed the song that Xiao had asked him for, had hoped that the bard knew words for the lost music. “...That is indeed an old lullaby.” Madame Ping said, closing her eyes as if in some kind of pain.

“Are you all right?” Venti asked, disregarding his musical pursuit to check on her.

“Yes, I'm much hardier than you think.” Madame Ping sighed, but this one was exhausted. A new tiredness was overtaking her visage, that brightness from before now extinguished. “But, I should head back. Any later, and I won't have a ride back home. Would you be so kind?” She requested him a second time, and just as before he agreed. The walk back to the main road was much quieter, Madame Ping less inclined to talk as the night got later. When two stopped and waited for a cart, she finally spoke again. “I'm so sorry to putter so much at the end. Thank you for the help, and your company.”

“My pleasure.” Venti said, this time with full honesty. “Don't apologize, I should head back myself. Any later and the person I'm waiting for, will be waiting on me.” He laughed.

“Is that right?” Madame Ping mused, an odd look on her face.

“Yes.” Venti confirmed, chest swelling in excitement at seeing Xiao soon. At knowing tomorrow evening, all his planning would pay off.

“I suppose… Heh, never really thought you were the type… Hmm. Doesn't matter, does it?” Madame Ping was muttering her thoughts aloud, soft and intended to only be for herself.

“What do you mean?” Venti inquired, brows furrowing as he tried to make sense of her comment.

“Oh, ignore me. I'm just getting a bit lost there, what with my old age. You just… Remind me so much of someone I once knew. Forgot for a second you weren't him, is all.” She assured him. Venti stood there, still supporting her with his arm, wavering if he wanted to press and ask more. A whisper in his ear, yes, ask! But then a fear clutched at him, threatened to take away something precious but never said what. “Ah! My ride.” Madame Ping exclaimed before he could decide. She patted his foreman with a fondness that strangers didn't share, and released her hold. Waved down the cart which came to a stop, and let her on.

Minutes passed as he watched the cart take her away, until he could no longer wave to her as she waved back at him. A new friend in the plains, an old friend from the plains.

Which was she?

The trek back to Wangshu Inn was one walked in a fugue. That he was now somehow sitting on his bed the only indication of that walk. But the path he took was a blur. There was this sensation, the only way he knew to explain it was like something was starting to come undone. What it was, what it meant, he couldn’t fathom. Shivered as it stayed outside his reach, and forced himself to get ready for bed.

Trusted Xiao to return when he could. For the moment, Venti just needed some rest. To sleep off whatever this was, and be able to feel the excitement for tomorrow.

Tomorrow.

Curled up in his bed, Venti closed his eyes. Tried to let his thoughts fixate on how fun and sweet and wonderful tomorrow would be. To focus on all the new experiences he and Xiao would share together, along with Xiao's family. To fall asleep, those happy thoughts trying to obscure that which lingered beneath.

When blue-green eyes opened, they immediately went wide. Beautiful buildings of stone decorated Guili Plains, a breeze carrying across a field thick with grass and glaze lilies. An entire field of the flowers in fact, the entire area coated with blue bulbs. His breath hitched, picturing how beautiful the area must be when night fell. Didn't know how he knew this was Guili Plains - he just did. If asked, could even direct someone to where the gathering was. The gathering of people he knew and lost and lost all over again.

There was that odd heat, almost painful, in his chest again. Winced slightly, gingerly rubbing the area with a frown. Looked around him, wondering if he was alone or not.

“I'm not a child.” It was Xiao's voice, yet it didn't match the way he spoke. The voice was protective, annoyed, and freshly scarred. A hurt that laced each word, and simply knowing Xiao was hurting added a different ache in Venti's chest.

“Xiao?” Venti called out, worry knitting his brows and used his teeth against his lower lip. “I know you aren't. Xiao? Where-”

“Take back what you called Lord Morax,” “He was not!” Two different voices, each Xiao's but at different points, overlapping in an equally heated reaction to words that spoke negatively of the Geo Archon. The dissonance of the change combined with the ways in which there was none, Venti put a hand against one of those gorgeous walls.

“I didn't-” Venti tried to say, but no sound left him.

“Xiao. Please. I understand you are upset, but he is my guest.” A voice, this one equally familiar as it was drastically different. Deeper, more grounded and indifferent compared to what was now closer to malleable than rigid. Glancing over his shoulder, Venti then had to look up. Crane his neck backwards, looking in awe at what appeared to be a mighty dragon adeptus. The adeptus towered above, yet Venti felt no fear.

Tried to gather his bearings, to make sense of what felt like a memory he was reliving yet couldn't possibly have experienced. Right…? Yet he was not allowed another moment to ponder, as a muted note cut through the overlapping words. The familiar and nostalgic song that started with a B, followed up by C sharp and D sharp. Those first three keys of the unnamed lullaby, Venti snapping his attention to the strange and confusing blend of what was now and what once was.

A woman, though this time he recognized her as the phantom dredged up when Liyue was still new. That had been when Xiao caught him, before Venti knew of his wings or how to fly. The warmth in Xiao's eyes hadn't been there, that fondness not yet exposed. The woman had short pale hair, somewhere between gray and brown, her image clear this time. What he had mistaken for long locks in the hazy picture before were only two parts framing her face and reaching her hips. Dainty hands that loved memorizing every note of every instrument just as Venti did caressing the song she had composed. “He loves this song.” She said, fingers plucking at her instrument. “But maybe that's because I composed it for him?” A laugh, a wink, a finger to her lips as too long sleeves fell below her wrists, asking this to stay a secret. “Promise me you'll play this for him?”

This was someone full of vitality, and love for all the life Teyvat had to offer. But beneath her eyes were the hints of weary bags, a war she didn't want to fight but was dragged into to save that same life she loved so.

Venti stood there, staring at her as the ache of loss came in waves that matched the beating of his heart. She didn't seem to notice, voice clear as she sang. As she shared with him lyrics intended to soothe - not just those around her, but also the person in front of her.

Then, she crumbled into Dust, the Wind blowing away her remains. Breath catching, Venti stepped forward as if he could somehow help each piece scattered come back together. But then something crunched beneath his feet, and he looked down.

Hundreds of bodies surrounded him, their blood staining his hands.

With a start, Venti snapped awake, beads of sweat on his forehead and soaking his back. Next to him, Xiao stirred now that the bard had so abruptly left his hold. “Venti…?” Xiao murmured, voice quiet as gold eyes glowed in the night, seeking out if Venti was hurt.

“Sorry…” Venti apologized, letting out a slow, shaky exhale. The dream was scattered, fragments that made no sense as he caught his breath. The only part that lingered, were the lyrics the bard had been seeking. At his side, Xiao carefully sat up and ran a hand in a soothing, careful up and down motion. Those bushy brows were furrowed, trying to identify what the apology was for.

“...Did you have a bad dream?” Xiao asked hesitantly, uncertain what else could have led to this.

“I… Think so?” Venti said softly, his expression matching Xiao's own confused one. “None of it made any sense, so I'm… Not actually sure?” He confessed, biting his bottom lip as he focused on the pieces that remained. “Were you sleeping? I didn't mean to wake you-”

“I wasn't.” Xiao spoke up before any more apologies could leave the bard, not wanting the other to feel guilt over an imagined slight. “I didn't want to wake you, so I was only resting until either I was called or you woke up.”

At that, the lingering remnants of that fear were gone, Venti's heart fluttering this time that awake or not, Xiao wanted to be with him. “It is nice waking up to you here.” Venti confessed, his shoulders easing along with his facial muscles into an easy smile. Put his hands on a Xiao's face, sighed as the yaksha leaned into his hold. If every morning started like this, perhaps waking earlier would be worth it.

“...We're glad it was just a dream.” Xiao mumbled, looking away as his brows knit.

“We?” Venti echoed, blinking at the word choice.

“...Me, Himmel, and Cecil.” Xiao continued in that low mumble, as if he didn't want to say that. But say it he did, knowing full well that no matter how embarrassing it was… The way Venti's eyes curved with his smile hearing it made saying those words worth it and more. Calloused thumbs lightly brushed across Xiao's wild, thick brows.

“I don't think it was entirely a bad dream. Pretty sure I can't have those with you three here.” Venti assured, and pressed a kiss to the yaksha so gingerly returned. Pulling back slightly with a sigh, the two carefully pressed foreheads together. “Tomorrow is a big day. I should get back to sleep… But,” He paused, and then continued, “I missed you.”

“I'll be here when you wake, or soon after.” Xiao promised. “But you should sleep.” He didn't sound excited about that, but wanted both of them to enjoy tomorrow to its full extent. The bard pouted, but complied. Releasing Xiao's face, Venti laid back down. Curled against the yaksha, both of their arms and legs tangling to cling to every touch they could manage.

“Hey, Xiao.” Venti said softly.

“Mmm?” Xiao hummed, resisting the urge to speak to prevent further conversation.

“I haven't sang to you in awhile… And I think I know just the song.” Venti yawned, nuzzling close into Xiao's chest. Could smell the earth, the scent of flowers, of feathers, of the sky the two shared. Felt safe, the concept of nightmares long forgotten in this moment. Not the best position to sing it, Venti didn't mind.

Lullabies weren't meant to be serenades. Could feel the way Xiao held him tighter, and the slow, wet exhale of someone finally having an important memory returned to them. Between limbs he leaned up to press kisses against the corners of Xiao's eyes, reassuring each tear was loved and allowed to fall as much as needed.

That Xiao no longer had to hold in all that loss anymore - Venti was there to hold his hand and love him as each part came loose.

[everythingsinred]

Let's Talk About NatsuMikan: Mikan (pt. 38)

Yeah, yeah let's just commence with this so we can get the ending over with and I can forget these last chapters ever happened again in peace. There's not much of substance to analyze here anyway since this ending is so sloppy and devoid of meaningful resolution.

<- Prev Next ->

Chapter One Hundred and Seventy-Three

It’s Hotaru’s time for a farewell.

Mikan leaps out of bed to embrace her best friend, instantly in tears. She’s been worried about her for weeks so she’s relieved that Hotaru seems to be in a healthy state, finally there to say a proper good-bye. She instantly asks about Natsume, too, who Hotaru left to take care of. She pleads with Hotaru to take her to Natsume, but Hotaru regretfully tells her that she can’t tell her anything. She still promises that Natsume will find her again someday, and not to give up her belief in him. 

It all just doesn't mean anything. I'm so tired.

She’s here to say good-bye, because she knows everything already.

I think Hotaru’s holding back of information here is reminiscent of Narumi’s back in the beginning of the story, when he couldn’t tell Mikan much about her situation but still requested her faith and trust that he had her best interest in mind. She chose to trust him and he did indeed work for her best interest. The same is true of Hotaru here, who can’t tell her what’s going on but is still doing her best to help Natsume.

She tells Mikan to be strong and to accept this hard fate, because it isn’t so bad. She promises Mikan that even if she forgets, even if they never see each other again, their bond is eternal, like it’s always been. 

Mikan is disturbed by that comment, though, arguing that Ruka promised he’d find her after graduation so Hotaru shouldn’t give up on her so easily. Hotaru pretends to be sleepy and instead insists that chasing is more of Mikan’s thing, that she herself doesn’t like to make promises she can’t keep. Thus, seeing each other again is on Mikan again. Mikan argues and complains about this, but she’s still in high spirits. Even if Hotaru is being mean, Mikan has always understood her friend better than anybody else. She knows that Hotaru is just like that sometimes. She’s just happy to be reunited after so much worrying. 

So she decides that this can be their own lesson in memories. Mikan can’t choose a favorite memory, so she brings up a whole bunch of precious memories together, moments she will soon forget. No matter what, Hotaru has always been there for her, and she’s happy that that’s still the case, that Hotaru came back to say good-bye. 

It's so hard coming up with captions when I'm just not vibing with the content. I'm not funny right now, just bitter.

“We’re two hearts beating as one,” she says. Hotaru has always been one of her most important people, someone she’s always willing to chase after, to go the extra mile for, to defend. She believes Hotaru that their bond is eternal, that it won’t be shattered by something as insignificant as erased memories.

And Hotaru finally shares her favorite memory of Mikan--when she found out Mikan had followed her to the academy, her happiest memory. Mikan is--again--touched and saddened by this. She doesn’t want to say good-bye, to be parted from her best friend. So she hugs her and cries, until Hotaru knocks her out with an invention.

Chapter One Hundred and Seventy-Six

Mikan wakes up alone. She has to leave the academy and say good-bye to everyone she knows and loves and forget them forever. Today’s the day. 

Hotaru is no longer there but Mikan is intent on finding her before leaving. But that’s not a possibility. Time has run out and it’s time to go.

Still no Hotaru.

Still no Natsume.

She wanted to see them just once before forgetting everything, but it seems like even that small dream has no chance of coming true.

It’s not entirely a sad event though. Almost the whole school is gathered in the courtyard to say good-bye to her. Though I think it’d be bold to claim Mikan made a personal difference in everyone’s lives, I think her grander sacrifices, like when she agreed to be locked up in the labyrinth to save the school or when she stole Luna’s alice from many students’ bodies, made an impression. She did do a lot of good here. She’s certainly not the only one, but things wouldn’t be the way there are now if she hadn’t made those choices, which we know weren’t really choices at all. Mikan always does the right thing, on instinct, because it’s the only thing she can think to do.

This is also meaningless. Yes, I'll explain in the next part. Even everything in these few chapters leading up to her losing her memories is pretty much meaningless. Nothing matters at all and these chapters are a waste of time.

The whole school promises to remember her, to keep her memory alive no matter what. She thanks everyone for all their help and support and friendship. Even despite her tears she swears she loves them all. She promises the tears she’s shedding now are tears are happiness, not fear or sadness, though she undoubtedly is feeling that too. Mikan is choosing to focus on the positive right now, on saying a heartfelt good-bye even though none of this went the way she wanted and dreamed.

She’d wanted to spend her school years with her close friends, friends of the quality she’d never had before. Mikan doesn’t remember her village friends, and I speculate she hadn’t been too close to them to begin with. Her first real friend was Hotaru, but joining the academy led to making many new special friends, people she truly loved and connected with in a way she never had. She genuinely does love them all (though the last chapter disagrees and ruins everything).

Narumi tells her this is a graduation day for her, that he’s proud of her, that he has faith in her that she’ll thrive even after she leaves these gates. “Congratulations,” he tells her, “on your graduation from Alice Academy.” Mikan embraces him and he implores her to smile, to think of this as a happy occasion rather than a sad one. Kazumi also swears to always watch over her as her uncle and relative, and Shiki promises the same as her guardian. When they meet again, they won’t say good-bye. 

Uh huh. For now.

The only person she hasn’t said good-bye to (other than the dead kid) is Bear, who stubbornly shunned her and now hasn’t even bothered to show up at her farewell. 

But he is here, packed away in her suitcase, waiting to leave with her. He didn’t want to say good-bye because he wasn’t intending on being parted with her to begin with. Kaname left a note with him that he is gifting Bear to her, to watch over her after she leaves the academy, so that she will care for him. 

Mikan starts to cry, loathe to say good-bye too, but regrettably reminding him that she can’t take him with her. She hugs him and he finally lets her. Their relationship has been as consistent as any other, a bond lasting since the very beginning. Just like with Natsume, Mikan had to put in a lot of effort into getting to know Bear, to seeing the sweetness that lies deep inside. Bear is her precious friend now, someone who kept her company when she had nobody else in the labyrinth. 

But Kazumi has Bear swear to not reveal that he’s not an inanimate object to others from now on. He cannot move in front of others but will always be a loyal friend to Mikan. Can he keep that promise?

Bear nods.

Perhaps the saving grace of these last chapters is Bear's development, which is consistent with previous chapters and showcases the growth of his relationship with Mikan. But I don't know... everything else seems meaningless and every time I read these chapters I cry a little less. But never any less for Bear's scenes. They still feel just as powerful each time.

Mikan won’t be leaving this place alone. She’ll have someone to stay by her side, to act as a reminder of her time here, even if she forgets it all. 

Chapter One Hundred and Seventy-Seven

It’s time to leave.

She still hasn’t seen Natsume or Hotaru.

She’s nervous about leaving without seeing them again, but her time is quickly running out. She can see the person who will take away her memories at the gate now. Her only hope now is that they will appear at the last moment to alleviate her grief and worry, but they never show up. Each passing second concerns her even more, but she can’t stop the inevitable from happening.

Some students have put together a graduation ceremony of sorts for her, singing the Alice alma mater, with Sumire leading them with her violin. Apparently, this was all her idea, to give her the special graduation she’d been so excited about experience with everyone else before. Sumire has tears in her eyes and an angry expression on her face, but even that can’t hide the love in this act.

The reason I hate these chapters so much is because I might actually like them if the last three chapters didn't exist. These chapters demonstrate how many people love Mikan and how much Mikan loves others, how important all her school bonds are, what a difference they've made in her life. In these chapters, classmates like Sumire and Koko and Iinchou matter. Her bonds with Natsume and Ruka and Narumi and Tsubasa matter. The last chapters completely undermine that and as a result these chapters are cheapened.

So she cries.

And everyone cries.

And I cry.

Maybe you cry too.

Mikan smiles. It’s time to go. She’s led to the gates and Ruka cries out that he will definitely see her again. She grins at him and thinks back on Hotaru’s words, her reassurances that she will see Natsume again, and even though Mikan hasn’t seen either of them today, she chooses to have faith in her best friend one last time. She will see them both again, for sure.

She’s ready to go, now. So she waves and beams at the crowd. “See you!” It’s not forever. Love doesn’t die, surely.

She goes through the gates with a smile, accepting her fate like Hotaru told her to. She never even sees the face of the man who takes her memories, but she doesn’t fight him. She closes her eyes and trusts, accepts her destiny. 

Sigh.

Good-bye, Mikan.

Conclusion

Isn't it funny how this "saying bye to Mikan" arc lasted some nine or so chapters, all ramping up to her losing her memories, just to have the last three short chapters undo all that and tell us that nothing we just read mattered at all? Why did Mikan have to lose her memories just to end up getting called back anyway? Her memories were erased for her protection and yet she still ended up in danger, something the Academy staff should have predicted because to not do so is idiotic. So what was the point? There was no point!

This final era of Gakuen Alice sucks so much because it's all about bringing out cheap emotions in the audience, making them sad about Natsume dying or Mikan losing her memories or Hotaru getting lost to time, and then shrugging and ending the story without any character resolution, just a bunch of characters smiling on a beach we didn't even know was a hope until recently. It's all just so sloppy, both in concept and execution. Boo!

We all deserved a better ending, one that is maybe a little less insulting. Too bad!

In any case my family just finished watching Never Have I Ever and I'm really psyched to continue writing my fic subjectives because of the rivals to lovers inspiration! If you know that show, feel free to guess my lane... I feel like it would be pretty obvious.

<- Prev Next ->

[symphonicsoul]

( @aquaticsoul , for one (1) aamun ) ->

It almost feels as if he is already dead sometimes, or, at least, all the parts of him that matter are.

Someday, his body will follow and really, that scares him more than he wants to admit.

At the same time, he's made peace with it. He's made peace with it many times, the nothingness that will claim him. Just... sometimes, he's still afraid. Sometimes, he's up in the middle of the night shedding silent tears onto the floor over the past and the future alike.

Tonight isn't any different, except for tonight he's decided to do something about it.

Tonight he's gone just outside to solidify a piece of his soul, craft it the best he can into something that isn't a disaster to look at because even if Tiamat and nature and the universe reject his mist entirely when he dies, maybe there's one person who will accept it. Maybe there is one person who will hold this crystalline form of his soul's breath with care and some sort of fondness. Maybe there is one person who will hold it and remember Sielu for who he used to be before all this, because Sielu can't do it himself and this one person promised to find him.

That will be enough for him, and... he's almost sure this will go well. It's the first thing he has been optimistic about since Sydän died.

Once it seems satisfactory and harmless enough, he drags himself back inside, hovering over the far side of the bed like a child who's just woken up from a bad dream.

He is gentle as he nudges his friend, voice no louder than a whisper.

"Aamunkoitto? I'm sorry. I- Could... Could you take this?" he asks, holding out his loosely-closed hand.

There is nothing really for him to have affixed it to aside from a piece of string, and he's waiting to apologize for that just the same, but... they could all die tomorrow, so waiting for a proper chain or closure isn't an option. It is a single crystal tied up in a fraying piece of twine - it is all he has of himself to give back in exchange for the security this man has offered him.

Perhaps, soon, he'll find it in himself to make two more. But for now - for now he is just content to give this one to his best friend. For now he is at peace with this.

·:*¨༺ ✩★✩ ༻¨*:·. The day had been long as it usually was when the three turned four of them now found them continuing to travel through this Wonderland together. That's what the people called it but he still - in all his years here - has yet to find anything wonderful about it. Still there were a few positives now.

Sielu was with them and apparently the prince was alive. They had a goal now. They weren't just wandering aimlessly anymore. No, they were trying to do the one thing that any sane Misterican was very specifically instructed to never do if they valued their life. But sixteen years in a place like this left all of them teetering the edge of their sanity just a little bit. They only needed to do one thing and one thing only now.

Find Svaardzjetrorahm.

If they could find him, then chances were high that they would find the prince. If the posters that Sielu showed them were correct, that meant if they found Svaardzjetrorahm then Valkoinen Pilvi would be with him and then they could get to the bottom of all this. Rumors and what not about Pilvi both abandoned Sielu and committing murder - against his will or not. It was a lot, but Celestial Mother be blessed, at least they didn't feel aimless anymore. At least this gave them some sort of purpose.

So that leaves the four of them exhausted and stopping in whatever crossover town then end up in to crash at what inns they can afford and avoiding the looks of the villagers that always seemed to stare at them in a strange way that produced strange whispers that were hard to avoid with hearing like theirs.

Revon finally fell asleep last, or well so they assumed as he finally allowed himself lay down next to Valo - who had shifted in close to the knight without hesitation or conscious that he was doing so. At this point everyone knew whoever was laying down next to the historian laying down in a trap.

The room fills with the soft sound of snoring as the stars drift away into slumber for several hours until pale hands are pushing against the man of the rose has sharp pink eyes cracking like the dawn. There is a small groan and the sound of his name. Sielu.

Is everything alright?

He's reaching for his glasses that are setting on the night stand in between this two bed room they managed to find at the local inn. Once they're affixed back on his face does the man slowly set up and look over to what the musician is offering him.

A thin piece of fraying twine that looks only a day or so of wear out from snapping if it doesn't have something else to support it's weight with a small gem of an aquatic shine hanging at the end of it. A soul gem. Sielu must not have been able to sleep and as so, he took the time to form his mist into a Soul Gem - just for him.

So gently does the man of roses take the offered gift with a smile creeping on his face hidden behind a mask, he next to never dares to take off in the presence of the others. He's moving to slide down left sleeve of his shift revealing a thin string of beads setting upon his wrist where at the center of them all rests one singular beaded crystal of a glimmering pure white.

Slowly does the morn work to weave the twine into that bracelet so it can lace neatly into the beads and provide both with a little bit of extra support; tying it off so the shimmering aqua now rests hanging just below the glimmering white and he pauses with his wrist raised just long enough for his friend to see his completed work.

"Kiitos, Sielu. This is a treasure, just like you are. I will guard it with my life. Kiitos ystäväni."

[picknmixspicyneuro]

Like the cake the name is a lie. Originally I was going to try to organise my so called *content into seperate tumblrs. and this was only going to be for spicy posts but I think it's time for me to accept that I can't just output spicy content all the time so I'm going to have this one be a everything goes Tumblr. You might get pictures you might get recordings you might get stories you might get spice you might get musings you could get anything think of it more of a randomised Pick a mix. I'd promise only top tier content but let's aim for something more realistic maybe I aim to be in the bottom 500 on Tumblr when I finally hit my peak. XD anyway stick around and see what you could win. I don't know what at the moment I guess maybe a back story?

Hi my name is Magpie I have a alter and voices in my head Magpie will usually type in Red and my Alter will type in purple and on the off chance we message something together it will be green.

Magpie is a femme boy with BPD and a patchant for the dramatic they will do alot of trauma dumps because hey who doesn't like hearing about others misery to try to make their day feel a little bit better? They will probably keep a diary and they are a switch leaning toward Sub, they aren't quite collared but they are hoping a certain Pixie girl will collar them at some point. Im also gender flux but have a penis and s beard so realise some of my limitations with that. I'm autistic and have ADHD and a other fun battery of mental health problems. I believe in souls and magic let's face it the world is boring enough to not believe in the fun unbelievable. I'm a avid gamer and anime and film watcher, I have over 5000 games across steam playstation and Xbox at some point id like to make a Vtuber because everyone has always said I have a face for radio so let's go with voice instead of face. I'll also probably keep a running diary and dream diaries. Fun fact about me I pretty much only have lucid dreams. I have thought that was the norm until recently I found out it is not. So yeah enjoy and have fun.

Alter I guess I don't really want to give my proper name Just yet so you can call me alter. I'm very much into Powerplay and I'm a Dom I'm also a female I am a female. I can't help that my primary was born with a dick that does not define who I am or what I am though. Our pronouns are they and them. I'm training to be a rope rigger and learning to make my own clothes Ill post sole of the patterns I make I'm more of a practical one than Magpie. Me and magpie have been in each others lives since either of us can remember. Back then when I was younger I was what was known as their imaginary friend though. Recently I've stepped more up and want to be more my own person. So we are trying to not work in tandem as much and let each other breathe and have our own lives. My biggest dream is to someday be a mum I know that it's not going to be an easy dream to accomplish given my primaries lack of womb but it's what I dream of. I will respect my primaries wishes and the only pictures of us you will see will not have our faces or other things that could define us in them but you might on occasion get to see the bulge of our femme cock. Stick around or don't I can't make you and I don't want to. TTFN Xx

[cloudstrife-bbs]

Who Would Cloud Be?

I keep dreaming about White Swiss Shepherds. I had a dream about him some months ago when I started looking for a breeder. He was a small fluffy puppy who laid in my arms and looked up at me adoringly. I also dreamed of walking down the green in town and meeting a person walking their White Swiss Shepherd. I also dreamed of meeting a breeder and going to see her dogs.

The time is coming to narrow my focus on who I hope Cloud is. A breeder will want to know what I'm looking for, so here's my very lengthy answer. I'm sure I'll find a way to shave down the rambling.

What am I looking for in a White Swiss Shepherd / Berger Blanc Suisse?

I want a dog that is suitable to be a family pet. My husband is 40, I am 37. We don't have children, so our dog would somewhat fill that role, like SoCo and AJ did. We are experienced and doting "dog parents", and still recognize that they are animals, not kids, but they bring us just as much joy and love and satisfaction as people-kids would.

I want a dog that is eager to learn and experience life with us. I would do a lot of work socializing him correctly in his most formative weeks, and continue to introduce him to new things all the time through his life. I want him to enjoy listening when he's supposed to so that he may enjoy lots of privileges and places. But, he has to want to have the aptitude for positive and fun training, and not be too headstrong or contrary. I want him to learn manners and obedience to keep him safe, balanced, and under control so that he can be trusted to have lots of freedom and come with us on our adventures, but I also really want to teach him tricks too to keep his mind active. My REALLY fun goal--- I want to teach him how to use Talking Dog buttons so he can learn language! I'm absolutely fascinated by the practice!

I want a dog that will be good at his job: My Emotional Support Animal. I have unfortunately experienced a lot of trauma. I also am neurodivergent and have an anxiety disorder with depression. I want a dog with a great sense of empathy, love, and protection for me. I don't have experience raising Service Animals specifically, but I would like to really learn with the proper network and channels. I'm not expecting a Service Dog, or a Therapy Dog, but if he shows a lot of promise in such tasks, I would promote his talents and take the proper classes so he can can have his fulfillment.

I want a dog with medium energy. I would like him to someday be strong and fit enough to go on hikes through the Connecticut Woods with us. I want him to be a playful, happy boy, who will enjoy the outdoors, either freely playing in the big backyard off leash or walking at a casual pace on a leash. I am not interested in participating in active dog sports like agility, dock diving, protection sports, or rally/flyball. I'm not really competitive or aggressive, and although the sports look fun, I want to make sure it stays fun for all three of us. Some people just kinda ruin it for me. I AM interested in other things that are more like work, like Herding, Nosework, and Obedience. Cloud also needs to be mentally fit enough to come to work with us when he has maturity while we work on building houses. My husband is a carpenter of 22 years, and I am learning the trade now as well. We will teach him to have great manners, and he can have his own tasks to help me at the job site! Carrying, holding, fetching, or just staying nearby.

I want a mellower dog with a good "Off Button". I know this is something that I have to mostly nurture into the puppy, but having a good balanced, calm personality who is content to lounge with us content to be cuddled and chew on a bone, at night, on rainy days and weekends. It takes a lot of work to get a well-adjusted dog like that, but I know some puppies will show a more mellow personality than others.

I want a dog that enjoys being near other dogs. I know this is also mostly on me to properly nurture into him, but some years down the line, we will likely eventually get him a doggy-sibling, probably another corgi, if not, another White Swiss Shepherd.

I want a boy dog with a medium, medium-long coat. I would just like him to be a handsome boy, and have that truly picturesque look and confirmation. I am aware how much they shed and don't mind the work to manage the fur (SoCo was husky/shepherd after all, and even the corgi shed and blew out her undercoat at major points of the year) and I know how to groom dogs that don't need experienced types of haircuts.

Am I interested in Confirmation or Breeding?

No, I don't think so, not unless the breeder he comes from determines he's truly exceptional in physical health and mind. My current plan is to have him neutered (at the latest) by the time he's 2 and fully grown, because he's really only supposed to be my companion and I don't want to stress out his life trying to create progeny and legacy. He's just supposed to be my Good Boy. If my breeder thinks he has show potential, I would need a ton of help and guidance to get him Confirmation titles because even though I've watched dog shows every year on TV (I went to Westminster in 2012 and it was AWESOME!), I don't know the first thing about participating in showing. I would need to have support and make friends and have a mentor! I don't really have the time to travel much with our line of work. But I would be eager to make friends with anyone that wanted to help me learn. I am not planning on becoming a breeder anytime soon, but truthfully, it's not out of the question for me either later on in life. I'm just so doggedly adamant about doing a good job and having excellent dogs that are superior examples of the breed that I'm not so foolish to do it for the wrong reasons. If I did decide to get into breeding someday, my focus would be on confirmation, temperament, and working ability to do the activities that I, personally, am into doing.

I hope I thought all of that out through well enough. I try to do everything for the right reason, and don't want to leap into anything without seeing where I'm going to land. My next entry will probably be about why I chose this breed in the first place.

[clementines-writing-corner]

extra content

Hello friends!

As promised, here is one of the extra posts about my original story! A few weeks back, I introduced y’all to Queen Aurora of Sylvanthia, so today I figured I’d introduce you to the special man in her life! ᕱ__< He was talked about briefly in her short character description, but he is one of my 2 main, main characters so I figured I’d better give him his own proper introduction. I also have a picrew of him to share, but hopefully someday I’ll get around to creating my own drawing. Without further ado, however, I’m delighted to introduce ma main boy Kazuki!

~*~*~

Kazuki of Okunseiko [meaning]

Age 18

Human

Rightful Ruler of Okunseiko

He was about to be coronated when sh*t hit the fan and he had to flee with Sascha

His mother was assassinated when he was 12 and his dad got super over protective

When he was 16 his dad contracted the same illness that killed Aurora’s mother

His uncle Kagero took over as pseudo-regent until his dad passed away when he was 18 and Kazuki was to be crowned king

However on his coronation day Kagero attempted to murder him (it was very chaotic lots of explosions and magic) framing it as an outside assassination forcing him to flee

Engaged to Aurora of Sylvanthia

A puppy love childhood romance in which they strong armed their parents into making official by betrothing them

He misses her desperately (it makes Sascha sick)

A very calm, steady individual, it takes a lot to make Kazuki lose his cool (something Sascha seems very good at)

Also quite adept at reading emotions, even Sascha’s, which gets under her skin something fierce

Very artistically inclined

Loves music of any kind

Plays the violin/fiddle himself

Constantly doubts his ability to be a good ruler, but has a very logical and tactical mind along with empathy in spades

Though Sascha constantly complains he is useless he has saved her life more than once through both strategy and his instinctual understanding of others

He is very aware he is mostly book smart not street smart however

His mind is current on worrying for his people, figuring out why his Uncle betrayed him and if there is a bigger problem at hand (like he fears), and making his way to reunite with Aurora after 6 long years apart without getting killed in the process

~*~*~

Sooooo… what do ya think? Not sure if y'all saw my last post, but writing out even this short description of Kazuki was one of the first indicators that I had a lot more worldbuilding to do before I was ready to manuscript anything and also the moment when my main antagonist began to take shape. No spoilers (half because spoiler suck and half because I’m still shaky on the details myself) but I hope yall will stick around with me as I continue to craft this story and find out for yourselves in time. I have a long journey ahead and next week you will be getting a second extra content post revealing some more characters!!

TTYL! (And remember to dot those j’s and cross those t’s!)

~Clementine J. Quincey 🪷

[jindallaebe]

despite the fact that both of them stand upright as grown men today, jindallae wonders if stevie was sent into his life to help him heal his inner child. there's such a sweet, undiluted whimsy that comes attached to his boyfriend that he doesn't think he's ever possessed. as a kid, he spent so much time worrying about his brother, and fighting with his mother, and existing in such a deep state of survival mode that it darkened his worldview, even while still in single-digit ages. whenever he can't sleep at night, he dwells on his past and is seldom able to latch onto memories that don a dulcet glimmer.

for some reason, it seems like he's always taken everything rather seriously; the expressions on his face etched by broody angles and scowling glares instead of made gold by smiles and laughter. he's ashamed of having been such an angry boy. he also thinks that the circumstances of his life made it all too easy to fall down that pit of despair, too, and instead of rising above it or clawing his way out, he chose to stay there. now, here with stevie, he's finally able to make up for the lost time.

jindallae hears him talking about his home, and crawling out of the sea, and showing him around to new places, and grins fondly at all their dreams for plans. in truth, neither of them know when these things will happen, but he knows that they will. he'll make them a reality himself, if he must. for now, he's overjoyed (even if he doesn't show it physically or obviously) that stevie is so pleased with their picnic; the spread is certainly hearty, but he wanted to make sure that, even if they didn't finish everything in one go, they can still pack it up and snack on it later.

wrapping an arm around him, he pulls stevie in even closer after he's lean on and gives him a kiss on his temple; letting his hand settle on the other's hip somewhat possessively. "i wanted to make it special for you. for us." he reconfirms, so glad to see that his efforts are appreciated. "it's important to me that you eat well and are in good health. i wanna take care of you." the admission makes him cringe at himself a little, but it's his truth. "you may not realize it, but you take care of me in your own way, too. it's only fair i return the favor."

in that moment, he's taken by surprise when the strength of his jawline is cradled so tenderly by stevie's hand, and when his face is kissed, he lets out a content breath; relaxed. before answering his boyfriend's question, jindallae leans in and gives him a proper kiss on the lips, then one on his forehead; always eager for more. "hm, well, i think it's proper to save the dessert for last, so..." with that, he reaches forward and grabs one of the triangle-shaped kimbap, then guides it over to stevie's mouth, rubbing one of the pointed edges along his pouty lips for fun.

maybe it's lewd, even crude, of him to mess around in that way, but he hopes that it's obvious that his intentions are playful. he drives that point home by scrunching his nose at him, then laughing. "sorry..." he utters, shaking his head. "i'll get my mind outta the gutter, i promise."

though he's not taunting him anymore, he still hovers the food over stevie's mouth in anticipation of him taking a bite of it. "like i said, it's filled with bulgogi and kimchi, and well... maybe i sound like a tool, but i make the best bulgogi in the entire city." he laughs, waiting for the other to bite into it. "this marinade of mine is top-secret, but if you're lucky, i'll share it with you someday... you just have to promise not to tell anyone." winking, he's waiting patiently to witness stevie's reaction to its powerful flavor; packed with perfect balance of heat, sweetness, and savory goodness.

stevie nods his head, pleased with how the day's been turning out so far. the smile on his face hasn't budged, soft and sweet as he takes in the setting for their date. "thanks for all this," he reaches out to jindallae to grab his hand and squeeze it, swinging it between them childishly. "i can tell today's gonna be one for the memory book." it'll be a nice thing to lock up in his mind and remember forever. it's so romantic in a way stevie isn't used to, wouldn't even dream of having for himself.

jindallae talking about going to stevie's hometown makes him feel fuzzy inside, his smile taking on a dopey, almost dreamy twist to it. "yeah," he hums softly, thinking about it. bringing jindallae to all of his favorite hangout spots-- even the secret ones he only told one or two people about. surfing back home with him. "i do look best when it looks like i've just crawled out of the sea. you're so right." stevie laughs, tilting his head back up to grin up at his boyfriend. it's a bit unrealistic, sure, and probably a far off dream. but one day, maybe. and stevie will hope for it to happen sooner rather than later. "i'll show you around to all the best places too. i know home like the back of hand. you'll become like a local in no time with me." home. because at the core, it always will be, for stevie.

stevie follows jindallae through setting up, letting out interested little ooh and aahs as he sees everything the older has prepared. his facial expressions shift more and more into surprise and awe, then to excitement as he gets himself comfortable next to the taller. his eyes dart over the food, already feeling his stomach start to grumble as he looks over it. "wah..." stevie comments, awed. "this looks so good. you really outdid yourself, jin." he leans over to knock his shoulder into the other, then proceeds to stay there, looking over the spread.

"it is a lot, but it's okay! we're big eaters, aren't we?" stevie hums, non-plussed, leaning back over for the thermos jindallae pointed out. he can eat, and it's true-- anything they don't finish they can save for later. stevie resists the urge to kick out his feet in glee, and instead returns back to his very comfortable position leaning up against his boyfriend.

you mean a lot to me, he says, and stevie pauses, looking up at the older with eyebrows raised. a slow, steady flush begins to cross his cheeks, then his ears, but the smile on his face is bashful. his stomach does a little flip and a dive-- oof, are these what butterflies are like?

for once, stevie doesn't have a quip or something to say. but he does act, reaching up with a steady hand to cup the side of jindallae's neck. he's clumsy though, pushing himself up so he can plant a kiss on the underside of jindallae's jaw sweetly. "you mean a lot to me, too." stevie murmurs against his skin, another chaste peck following before he begins to pull away. "it all looks really good. do you have a recommendation, chef?" he asks, playful.

[astaroth1357]

The Brothers Giving Hugs

I'm having bad cramp pain right now and really want a hug… So excuse me as I write myself some! 😊

Lucifer 

Hugs like a protector.

Lucifer doesn't hug often, so when he does it's because he wants to be sure the MC can feel how much he cares for them.

Between his arms and his chest, he can easily envelope most people in even a basic embrace so he takes full advantage of that.

The rare hug from Lucifer is sort of like getting "hugged" by a full-grown lion… but with less maiming.

Throughout the process, they're fully aware that they're in the arms of a creature that could very easily snap them in two for any reason whatsoever, but chooses not to because of the bond they share.

It's a weirdly humbling feeling... One combined with a position of total safety because, really, who's going to mess with whoever tamed the great Lucifer, right?

Mammon

Hugs like they'll disappear.

No. Seriously. Mammon can be a very frustrating man to put up with and he knows it. He has more vices than he does Grimm and all of them have to do with his obsession with the stuff… but he loves MC. He really does.

There’s a part of him deep down that’s terrified that they may someday come to their senses and get sick of his shit like everyone else has… So he really tries to enjoy every moment with them that he can get.

When Mammon’s hugs are like a vice, it’s because he’s always scared that each one will be his last... He's a scumbag and a screw-up, but they've never cared.

He really, truly treasures them for it.

Levi 

Hugs like it’s a blessing.

If Mammon is anxious that they’ll leave, Levi is still trying to believe they’re there. Forget leaving him eventually, why are they with him to start with??

Needless to say, hugs from Levi always have a certain level of gratitude because of this. He always seems surprised when they start and usually hangs on a bit too long even after they end.

True, he doesn’t really know where to put his hands nor how to stand and not be stiff - but it doesn’t take a genius to see how much he must love it given how hard he hugs back.

Who would ever want to love an outcast like him…? He still doesn't know, but when MC's in his arms he can pretend at least… right?

Satan

Hugs like a gentleman.

Everything about Satan has a certain class to it, doesn't it? He's had proper manners drilled into him for centuries, so naturally his hugs are just as refined.

Never too hard and never too long, the perfect amount of grip and warmth to leave both parties satisfied. Excellent hugs for comfort!...

… unless he's upset about something. 

In the rare case where it's Satan looking for a little attention instead of MC, he just becomes extra needy - hanging around them for long stretches or trying to pull their arms around him if they don’t get the hint...

Is he purposely emulating his favorite furry friends or is this a subconscious thing? Who knows. But either way, the MC should feel honored to receive his more warm (and certainly more compromising) affections.

Asmo

Hugs like a worshipper.

I hope you don't mind roaming hands, but they caress out of love.

As much as Asmo loves skin-to-skin he'll always jump at the chance to get to know MC's body just that bit more, even fully clothed.

From the supple places that give to his touch to the bony ones he has to trace - the rolling curves or running valleys - every part is just another bit of MC to love!

He'll even try to learn what the MC's body feels like under all different kinds of fabrics and in every style imaginable, just to commit them to memory that much more.

It would be fair to say that he loves them desperately. A hug to him is more than a simple gesture, it's just another chance to worship at their altar...

Beel

Hugs like a natural.

Have you ever fallen face first into a comfy beanbag chair? Do you remember that sudden, almost light feeling as the beanbag puffs out then the wonderful enveloped feeling as you start to sink in? That's pretty much getting hugged by Beel.

Just replace the beanbag stuffing with washboard abs but somehow it's still no less satisfying, I promise.

Beel is built for hugs and he loves to give them to MC in particular. Their human body is a lot more fragile than his - he can tell - but that creates the same kind of feeling you get when holding a kitten.

When the person he's holding feels so light, warm, and delicate it feels so honoring to even touch them… Love and trust all in one package.

Belphie

Hugs like he's made of glue.

One could argue that Belphie's only truly content when his beloved human is in his arms. It is, however, not any expression of love or joy on his part. Oh no, it's not nearly that special...

It's just how things should be.

If he had his way, he'd make hugging the MC it's own universal law like gravity or motion. It shouldn't even be thought about, it's just a given. That's where he goes!

The MC has had to go hours of their daily life with Belphie's arms attached to their body in some form. Together. Where they belong. Period. He'll never let go.

[dm-clockwork-dragon]

Beep Boop

Quietly sets Tip Jar out for anyone who wants to be extra nice

So I won't make a big deal about this, but I've finally gone ahead and enabled tipping on this website. I'll never ask for anyone's money if I can at all help it, but if you like what I do, and wanna toss a coin or two into the dragon's hoard, it's much appreciated.

I know I don't post much new content these days, and I know better than to promise that will change. But I do still put a lot of work into updating and maintaining the homebrew classes and such that I have created, and I'm working towards actually turning all this into a proper setting book someday with custom art and tons of new lore. If you enjoy my stuff, or want to see that happen, tipping is a great way to let me know. But so is just liking, reblogging, and asking questions or giving feedback.

[lovenojudgement]

Posted: April 01, 2023 12:33PM

Written: May 1, 2022, 7:47AM

Someday.

A blog that I might not post now nor soon, but we’ll see.

To you whom I gave a part of my heart to but chose to break it instead, I hope you get to realize how deeply broken I am now.

For the past days that we are not talking to each other anymore, I was able to think about things in a bigger and a clearer picture. It took me a long time before I opened myself up to love again. The short-term mutual understandings that took me months or even years to move on from. I tried to evaluate myself because I might be the reason why things did not work and why it just had to end like that. I then chose to be as honest as I can be. Thinking that life might be a little bit fair for me someday. That I would be able to meet someone who would partially give the same level of love and honesty back to me.

I told you every single story. All the good and the bad, whether it be happy or sad. I got tired of taking time in revealing the real me inside and out that was why I opted to let it all out that early. I thought that if I did that, you would already have a hint if you would pursue me or not. Whether you would take the risk to hold my hand or not. And most importantly, so that you would know how to lift my fragile heart gently. But why does it feel like it gave you an idea on how you would be able to manipulate me instead. Because you knew how delicate I was.

Was I really loved? Or was I fooled? You knew the state of my heart. Did that really make you fall for me. Or did that open your mind that it will be easier for you to navigate my heart in any direction that you would want. Simply because I was vulnerable.

I have been asking God for someone who would fit my heart best. You then came and I thought that it was you. You made me believe that it was you.

I thought I revolved in a perfectly imperfect love story, and I was okay with it. But I think it is a lot more proper to think that I revolved in a man-made love story. I gave everything, my whole being even. I gave my complete trust to you. I loved you more than everything else including myself, but you chose to throw them away. You chose to make me live in a life full of lies. I accepted everything about you. I always made it a point to make you happy. I was contented in seeing you smile. I always thought of you first before myself. Even though I was hurting, you never felt it. I continued to love you until the very end.

Making me believe in all your lies because you did not want to lose me was the most selfish act that somebody has ever done to me. Creating mistakes within mistakes were a lot worse. None of your reasons will ever be valid. You again thought of yourself first. You never thought of me. You did it because you wanted a fun experience for yourself.

Have you been really in love before? Do you have an idea of how it feels like to fall deeply and madly in love with someone? Have you ever been heartbroken? So broken that you could not function in a day. So broken that you do not see your life worth living anymore.

I felt your genuine care. But maybe you must think about it if you really love—loved me. When you love someone, hurting them will be the last thing that you would want them to experience. I always told you my thoughts. Anything that I had in mind even though I know that you might get mad at me. Even though it might ignite another fight. There were a lot of times that I cried my heart out to you. You saw me broke down, down to my knees even. You made me believe that everything was okay. And I trusted you wholeheartedly.

You promised me before that you won’t leave me hanging. That you will never disappoint my heart just like how the others did. That you have all the balls to tell me and the world that you loved me. I held on to your promises since the day that I felt that I had feelings for you already. Because I thought I really mattered. You might have appreciated my presence. The things that I did and the things that I can still do for you. But maybe it was not really love. I know, someday, you will see me again, smiling—because someone might have already seen the worth of a withered plant like me in a field full of fruit bearing trees and colorful flowers.

PS: I was cleaning my laptop when I saw this again. Then I thought, this would be the perfect day to post this. First, because I have fully moved on. Second, it's April Fools Day. I was then made a fool but I do not feel like a withered plant anymore. I am one of the colorful flowers from this day on.

DGPS

[lavenderrpages]

an ❛ ooufff ❜ puffed from estella's lips after hearing about tulsa. ten hours. being stuck in ten hours anywhere seemed brain rotting for the woman to think about. confined. judgment shifted to the outcome of alex's story. her posture was loosening from it's proper attire. wine was to be blamed. shoulders curled, an elbow placed on the bar top, fingers nestling in her dark, thick locks. ❛ sounds like one hell of a story. ❜ surely, more to the told words. no one dragged in layover to come out with an 'i heart tulsa' shirt on the other end. right ? ❛ makes me think this bottle of wine has potential for a greater adventure. ❜

❛ truth be told. ❜ began, while a less cautious hand poured the bottle of wine to refill her glass. ❛ i haven't found that place, yet. ❜ her tone was laced in promise that someday she just might. though the magic of such content feelings to be long lasting was deluded. time always aged the good feeling of whatever. estella wasn't ready to give up so empty handed. ❛ i could roam around pike marketplace. avoid them tossing a fish at newcomers. soak up whatever little sun seattle will allow before clouds released rain. ❜ drifting, ❛ have a riot with old broads chain smoking at a glitzy vegas casino. bottomless drinks. people rotting away to chance. ❜ or, ❛ get lost in a museum. anywhere. pretend i know the life of every painting, sculpture, photograph. maybe live in them. be so many people. so many things. have so many lives. ❜

a smirk crossed her lips as alex's fingers trailed delicately over the bar. the comment had, shamelessly, been cast on the end of a fishing pole. there was a slight shrug in one of her shoulders. "you can never fully predict the effect a layover will have," she replied, coyly. "every traveler has at least one horror story of the airport they were left to roost in, right? mine was tulsa. five hours, turned ten." she could speak on it with a certain fondness now that the experience was firmly in the past, but at the time, her sanity had been on the brink of destruction. "i had involuntarily gained a bar mate who became very clumsy as time dragged on, and..." she swept her hands toward her chest. "suffice to say, i landed in são paulo donning an 'i left my heart in tulsa' t-shirt."

people were a fickle breed, and alex was no exception. in these situations, being stuck for longer than anticipated, she had half a mind to balk at any attempt at camaraderie. but then came along someone that turned her head, disrupting her planned solitude. alex nudged the bottle in the other woman's direction, unconcerned with the potential consequence. "give me your place, then," she prompted, angling her body in the chair toward the brunette, legs crossed at the ankles. "where's someone like you drawn to that you're not quite ever ready to leave?"