#i just listen to it on loop all the time
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Why is Spotify calling me out
#i just listen to it on loop all the time#isn't that normal#i just finished writing a dreamling au too based on the circe saga#i'm so gone for this musical#epic the musical#epic the underworld saga#no longer you#mavis speaks
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you said you were stuck in a time loop, which was fine. i feel like late-stage capitalism has us all in a time loop, ammiright? you came barging in at 5:33. in the morning. i hadn't even processed the idea of coffee.
but you had this look of utter panic in your eyes. terror like the ocean. you grabbed my cheeks. im in a time loop.
i don't know why in movies the first reaction is to deny it. when someone is panicking like that, it's not appropriate to ask them to calm down. it didn't matter if i believed it, what mattered was that you believed it so much that it was consuming you.
so here we are. i pour you some of the dark roast. "you look like utter and entire hell," i say.
you push your fingers into your eyes. "you always say that."
i try to think of something funny to say that i wouldn't have said on previous time loops, but jokes don't land without the proper timing (lol). "remind me to think -"
"-yeah, of a joke that only works in the future. and before you say anything, i know you're pissed i just stole your punchline." you bolt the coffee, which is wild. it's very hot. you don't seem to notice.
i blow on mine to cool it down. i both am very pissed at you and also i can't see you in this amount of panic without wanting to help. but i'm also not really sure what we are, not since i saw you kiss her like that, no offense. it just was like, kind of rude when you knew i liked you.
and besides. i'm just like, barely a person. i write omegaverse fanfiction. i love the concept of a time loop, but what the fuck am i gonna do? send an alpha in there? i open my mouth.
you point at me. "you're about to ask why me. and then say some disparaging shit about yourself. i'm just a nerd who plays dnd or something. that self-own is slightly different each time." you sigh. "i know you think you can't really help me. i don't know who can help me. i only came to you because you fucking believe me." you check your watch, sigh, and throw your head back. you cover your eyes with one hand. "i've come here on 26 separate revolutions," you say. "you have believed me every time. and yeah, i have no idea how you fit into this but i just -" you sigh again. "i just like fucking talking to someone about it."
"do you need more cof-" i start, but you're already holding the empty cup out. i frown at it. "you're not getting any more until you promise not to bolt this one like an animal."
you laugh a little and sit up, pushing your hair out of your face. "okay, that's new dialogue. but to be fair to you, i'm not usually this rude. i'm still pretty new at all of this." you check your watch again. another sigh. i guess you're cruising for a personal best in the Sigh Olympics.
i almost tell you im not an NPC but i've played enough video games to know i'm very much an NPC. i pour you another cup. "so what happens in the loop?"
"really bad explosion." you mutter into the mug. you put your elbows on the table (rude) and bury your face in your arms like an angsty teenager. one hand floats up while you talk, because evidently you literally can't talk without your hands. "i have to save the day and there's this bomb and i have no bomb training and it keeps moving, you know."
"do i die?"
you peek up from your arms. "yeah. bigtime. you keep trying to run or stay or do anything and you always super die."
"oh."
"to be fair, like, everyone dies in it though.... so you're in good company."
i hate that you make me laugh. i hate that being around you always feels tingly and strange, this electric tension between us. something that is evidently (given how you stuck your tongue down a stranger's throat literally 3 days ago) (well. 3 for me) super one-sided. i take a sip of my coffee and close my eyes.
i die today, i guess. a little spark of panic starts at the top of my hands and starts whipping up my wrists.
"shit," you say. you look at your watch and jump to your feet. "i have to go. if i can come back, i will. i am still trying to figure out when is best to do everything, you know? the order of stuff. maybe morning isn't good for us."
i look up at you and think about how you keep kissing me in the back of my car and in alleyways and in the dark. and i can never fucking get a read on you. and i also think about how incredibly panicked you look. how broken. how long have you been doing this? "i don't want to die," i say.
you glance downwards. "well, you're not really dead, you'll come back in the loop."
"but i will have died." my hands are shaking. i am trying really hard to stay calm.
you push your hands through your hair again. "i really have to go. i will have this discussion with the next version of you, though. it is like, something i am thinking about."
"but i don't get a next version," i say. i don't really have the language for this, because i haven't had 26 tries with you. i only have my memories: you, a week ago. drunk and telling me you loved me in my ear. you, kissing her anyway. you, months ago, throwing up on my birthday, whispering to me i ruin everything i touch, always, over and over. please don't ask. i can't ever fucking have that be you.
i run my finger along the rim of the mug. "i don't want to die in this one."
you seem baffled by this. "i get that but - time will reset, you'll be fine, you won't even remember we talked about this."
"but i know now." i stand up too. "i have to live the rest of this day knowing i could die. knowing i probably am going to."
"you could always die, to be fair."
i feel my hands get out of control. "earlier, you said i always say a different insult about myself. what if you're just going through different parallel universes and those are all just different - but real - versions of myself? what if you're not in a time loop, you're in a fucking universe loop?"
"if it helps, i've wondered this too. also, you're hot in all of them. if that helps."
i point at you. "no flirting. i'm trying to figure out if i die today."
"who's flirting?" you catch my wild hands and give me that long, perfect smile. like we're in this together. "i won't let ya die." you check your watch and sigh again. "well. maybe not this time."
i grit my teeth. you are so not making quips at me while i try to explain the existential dread i'm having. "does the time loop reset if i fucking kill you?"
"honestly i don't know how long it continues after i die, because i just wake up. it could be that the loop goes until the explosion for everyone, and we're all in the loop, or it could be that when i die, the loop restarts. when i die i wake up, is all."
i pull away from you and stalk into the kitchen and start doing all 3 of my dishes. "okay, first, you know i was joking. and secondly, this is exactly my point. you don't know if this is just a parallel universe. maybe in the ones where you died, the explosion happened and nobody reset and it's just you travelling." i have to stop and push the heel of my palm into my eyeball. "... how often have you died?"
i look at you. you look at me. you give me this very sad, halfway smile and a little what can ya do shrug. something in that action seems so old and weary that i want to burst into tears.
"i have to go," you say. "really. for real. there's this family of five i save from getting into a car crash. and i know it's like oh but we're all gonna die in the explosion anyway, what's the point. and..." you shrug again. "it matters to me, is all. at least i saved them for now. at least i saved anything."
you pad over to me and wrap me in a tight hug. you always seem so tall against me. i feel your cheek rest against the top of my head for a moment. for a second, it's just us, and the space is warm, and my heart is a little broken hare.
you leave me there, and i stand in my stupid badly lit kitchen with my stupid mugs. i think about you. i start texting my mom that she needs to get out of the city, but it feels pointless.
i don't know what to do. tomorrow is the same day for you. but i have to prepare to die in my today.
#warm up#prose#i just realized that there's a horror film in there about being someone NOT in a loop.#if i wanted to make it longer i'd have them come back like SUPER battered and hellish.#on round like 999#like halfway through lunch like - YOU . I LOVE U . IM SORRY . I RUINED IT BC I LOVE U CANT U SEE THAT#but like. yeah man what happens when someone else in control of ur destiny#what happens to all the versions of u that DO die...#i also wanted a pre-redemption time looper - this person#(who in my brain is they/them)#is absolutelyyyyyy toying with the narrator bc the time looper is caught up in like#an emo angsty '' i can't have what i want bc i ruin things'' self harm spiral#and like literally the way out of that spiral is to TRY bud.#but this is a person pre-redemption. still kind of an ass. still not really listening to her#still a little bit ignoring that they kissed someone 3 days ago#still KNOWS she likes them and DOES like her back. but is just too chickenshit still.#we're talkin that person we've ALL dated that's like ''i can't be with u anymore bc i am Too Broken and I Can't Stand Hurting U"#... i imagine they grow up tho. eventually.
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edit (10/23/2024) now that the poll is over: Original version, with 10 questions, from April 2023 here
And, given that the original is from April 2023, that means I can very easily say:
No, this was not an ISAT reference!
Just because I use parentheses and 2nd person pov and love the same concepts of what a time loop can do to a person doesn't mean it's ISAT
(Yes, I like ISAT, the original poll is why I was recommended the game! But if you look at the original, you can see all the origins of the options to choose from, including what spurred me on with the moss option from the replies)
If I were going to make something for ISAT, I would never be so vague, you can simply look at my ao3 for proof of that
#egg speaks#writing#polls#my writing#egg writes#my polls#poetry#time loops#listen I want to run this again#time loop poll#<- check that tag on my blog for the original 10 option version lmao#unreality#you know I didn't think I'd get fed up with people making isat jokes about this#I thought it'd be like oh hey neat same hat#we both like the same game#but people keep going “oh this is JUST an ISAT reference”#as if it's not a genuine work of creativity I did myself. it feels a bit devaluing#“op you played isat” yes but that came after the original!!!!!#I KNOW it's not meant like that but I want people to engage in my work as its own thing. you can make jokes about similar media!!!#but this is it's own thing!!!!#I want people to like it for what it is. I want people to enjoy it outside of other media. I want it to stand on its own#I'm flattered someone said it was good enough that they think it could be narration from the game and read just as well!!!!#but like. idk. all the other medias popping up (pmmm. orv. higurashi. etc) aren't people calling it a /reference/#if I wanted it to be an ISAT reference I would have tagged it originally. I would have targeted it toward ISAT fans more intentionally.#I love fanworks but this was an ode to time loops alone. I wanted people to think. to have to CHOOSE. I wanted PARTICIPATION#time loops as a narrative and as horror and as a group activity via polls on tumblr. also s/o to the person who said 40 hr work week so tru
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Merry Christmas!! I hope you all have a wonderful day <3
EDIT: I accidentally posted this too early but know this illustration is referring to a previous comic if you'd like to read it ! [Christmas 2023]
#almost tgcf#tgcf#tian guan ci fu#heaven official's blessing#hob#hualian#xie lian#hua cheng#san lang#there's also three additional characters hidden there can you recognize them?#myart#merry christmas#merry xmas#I do admit I only wrote xmas because I lacked space#anyway I know I said I wouldn't do any illustrations for christmas but guess what haha I lied#no I didn't lie actually the spirit of christmas just came to me with an idea and I had to draw it#the spirit of christmas was listening to the fruitcake album on loop#anyway this is what happened after the christmas comic from last year#they got an after work party and then hualian just slumped on a sofa to cuddle or something like that idk#it's about the vibes okay not the feasability of it all#on that note please ignore the fact that I accidentally gave them the same heights#I hope you all have wonderful holidays and enjoy your time!!#I blurred the christmas tree for composition reasons but know I liked drawing it a lot <3#summarizing tgcf without having read any of it#san lang my babygirl my boytoy malewife my little pin up
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I don’t animate things often but loop wanted to ✨dance✨ so I made them ✨dance✨
#I stared at this for like 30 minutes after I was done just watching them dance to the music I was listening to#It’s not AMAZING but i didn’t think it would even come together at all so this is a win :]]#isat#in stars and time#loop isat#isat loop#my art#gif#that’s all the tags right? I think
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(You just want to dance with someone! Anyone!)
#isat#in stars and time#siffrin#mirabelle#isabeau#odile#bonnie#loop#isat fanart#isat mirabelle#isat isabeau#isat odile#isat bonnie#isat loop#(shaking you) go buy the prologue artbook. right now. right now do it go. go. go.#i have songs in mind for all of these. if people get curious ill share em#they're not necessarily representative of the relationship they're just what i was listening to when working on them
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HAPPY BIRTHDAY, GALACTA KNIGHT!!!! And congratulations to Meta Knight for experiencing the Cain Instinct for the first time.
Galacta Knight, as you might've been able to tell already, is one of my favorite characters, and KSSU is one of my favorite games (the original SS was my introduction to Kirby!) so I wanted to go all out. Happy day, old man. I pray for at least 20 more years.
Oh, and don't worry! He's not upset about the cake smash, he thinks it's funny. And he got back at him.
As for the in-universe explanation for there being 16 candles in his cake?
... 500+ didn't fit in safely.
The birthday boy and his family were just a bit too flammable.
#kirby#kirby series#galacta knight#meta knight#umm idk why i colored the text i don't talk like this#anyway average latino birthday party occurrence#i experimented this time !! i'm not sure about it but i like how this ended up looking anyway#i think it definitely works better on a smaller scale#anyway. TEENAGE KIRBY REVEAL. he's like 12-17 here. and mk's gay little outfit reveal too#i decided to go this direction because#1 - timeline accurate#2 - the red cape just fit better with the whole color palette#3 - i love drawing fluff#and 4th and most importantly. i just wanted to#did you know there was supposed to be more parts?#i might post them eventually#though they're nothing special#funny mk expressions though#my art#all of these were done while listening to g3 mlp songs in the background on loop#i want you to take that as a warning#because one of these days i'm gonna break#and make something really cringe#EDIT: WHERE THE FUCK IS MY TRANSPARENCY#promise the second one isn't supposed to look that ugly
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I think that the party's communication issues can be summed up as "man, is it awkward to tell someone that you want to spend the rest of your life with them if you've only know them for a few months? Probably."
#isat#isat spoilers#in stars and time#listen they will kill for each other but also its such a short time???? like??? thats part of the tragedy tbh#like!!! yeah theyll go back to their previous lives bc who in their right minds throw out everything they were doing before for people youv#only known for a few months and it turns out all of them do bc theyre insane for each other but!!!! like!!!! thats still a big ask!!!!!#yeah lets throw out everything we've ever know to be together lets fucking go and then they do in the end!!!! but!!!#thats because theyre all are ride or die to the extreme for each other!!!!!! far more than siffrin thinks anyone will ever be for him!!!!#anyway I have a lot of feelings about the party and just how bonkers (affectionate) they are#yeah no siffrin I too would not expect people to put aside their previous lives especially if its clear they have other plans#'yeah im gonna invite myself over to your house to live here lol' yeah no I would not assume that!!!!!!!#the issue is more that issue doesnt communicate what he really wants because if they do and his family says no then... being together truly#will end so he doesnt ask so they never will get a no so it never has to end (and has his reason to keep going)#this is turning into an essay in the tags but like. God its a wild set of circumstances so#tbh Siffrin not thinking the party wants to travel together is not wild to me neither is family not communicating#them wanting to be together ALL OF THEM wanting it is... unbelivable in these circumstances#but they do bc theyre all insane and ride or die but the extent of which is a mystery to all of them#anyway thats my essay in the tags#just read the no loops fic where the adults minus siffrin all offer to bring bonnie to bambouche and had FEELINGS about it#my posts
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a VERY belated drawing for the 10th anniversary of over the garden wall 🍂
#(if you saw me posting this before: no you didn't lol#there was some errors in the drawing that i had to redo)#now onto the og tags!!!#i started this one some days before the actual anniversary#but the background gave me a hard time and i gave up on it up until some days ago#and i know that the autumn vibes are long over (i think? i live in the southern hemisphere and we're on spring rn lol)#and the hype over otgw is also over#STILL! it was a lot of work to make the background look like that. lots of scrapped trees and colors and whatever#and i don't want to wait until next year to post this just because some vibes are over!!! otgw all year baby 💥💥💥#FUN FACT i listened to 'into the unknown' on loop for the majority of this drawing#so much that it made to my top 1 music streamed on october/november in spotify lol#over the garden wall#otgw wirt#otgw greg#runo.png
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i disappear inside myself / my friends don't know it can't be helped
[Pure You - Nothing But Thieves]
#my art#mysme#mystic messenger#v mystic messenger#jihyun kim#ummmm hi guys#^-^#fanart from me?? posted directly to this blog ??? or at all??? Well.#i was looping this song and i had the idea for this and then sat down for about four hours and here it is#im on like day 2 of v's route for the first time AND this song just came out like right as i got into his route yknow#and i was listening to those lyrics like.... huh.....#this soundssss. familiar.#anyway. politely i did NOT think that if i made fanart of this game after returning to it for the first time in like 6 years. it would be V#i adore this song though. and it compels me#i havent ever seen his route before so i still don't know how it ends idk how accurate this vibe even is#i would say try to avoid spoiling me in the tags but im gonna be real say whatever you want kings#i love u mysme fandom thats still around in 2024 you get me#anyway im drafting this at about 3 in the morning and i need to be awake earlyish tomorrow SO.#we'll see when i post this#its been so long since ive posted art i just do nawt make fanart until i get divinely inspired#iffff its blurry please click to see it its supposed to be crisp ^^;#been on this site how long i still pay no mind to their suggested image resolution#OH and by day 2 of V's route i mean like day 6 overall. you understand
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the end of 'bones and all' if they played strangers by ethel cain
#lee screaming and ethel screaming at the same time. on loop in my brain 24/7#i cant listen to the end of this song without picturing this scene theyre just connected in my mind#</3 still not over this movie and never will be btw#first edit ever yes im not an editing genius but i do not care i had to do it#ethel cain#bones and all#bones and all edit
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the way that i want you
#kabumisu#kabru#mithrun#dungeon meshi#suggestive#i made this as a warmup initially but i kept getting kabrus face wrong tht it took up so much time . so this is just . a doodle.#anyway Them#sm kbms ideas. .. so little time to make all of them#delicious in dungeon#linked is the song i listened to on loop when making this. pls stream no guidnce theyre so good Like bring real bbs back.#i also noticed i only upload ? once a month? i didnt mean to do that ;;#this wont get flagged right#(?)
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edward elric, protector of dogs (x)
#fma#fullmetal alchemist#edward elric#fma fanart#procreate#yes the arm is both incorrect and on the wrong side this was not supposed to be a fma piece it just manifested as such by the end#i didn't have a reference while drawing this i just begun with a random face and because i decided to do a mech arm halfway through it#seemed appropriate to commit even just a bit even if i was too tired at that point to do over things to make it accurate or coherent#i was sketching while watching fangs of fortune because i've learned that the trick to keep drawing is to do something else at the same tim#so you have less time to think about how much you hate what you're doing and how much you want to start over#zhao yuanzhou expresses open desire to die like every episode it's relatable#for the first part of this i was multitasking but once i got over the beginning i was locked in listening to the same song for 8h on loop#there's still something fundamentally wrong with the proportions of the face and the hands and i should learn to use sharp edges#so the result isn't monotonous and blurry but that would mean i would have to learn to use a new brush :/#maybe i should learn how to use the blend tool. after all these years#my art
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Time loop fic but it’s just Thor stuck confronting Loki during Avengers 1 except Loki is actually evil this time and wants Thor dead so Thor just. keeps dying. He tries not to hurt Loki the first few loops but keeps getting killed and starts taking it personally so he steps up his game to actually try to win/kill Loki back but he still keeps losing.
#Thor like haha those were flukes surely this time I will—#and nope he’s done the fight is over Loki was invisible behind him and got him in the neck. yikes.#Thor being so frustrated like he’s been through all of Avengers 1 and now he keeps getting sent back to a 1v1 scene and can’t pass it#he’s so frustrated about WHY#and like no way is he losing a fight to LOKI#it is his 432nd time in the time loop and Thor dies with the sceptre through his chest. again.#he doesn’t get it#maybe this Thor is from further in the future too thinking Loki was just having his mind manipulated etc.#but this time it’s the real thing so Thor won’t be able to get through#I think he doesn’t comprehend that at all#he tries telling Loki he doesn’t need to pretend bc he knows about Thanos and Loki doesn’t even listen
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So I was doing some in stars and timing and came across the class roster in the classroom and it got me thinking of the way loop calls siffrin "siffrin no middle names no last name" and I find that particular phrasing interesting because in the conversation about the roster it's emphasized that the many names that Vaugardians have represent a capacity to change and a major point in both siffrin and loops stories is remaining the same, resisting change, living the same lie over and over. Do I think that line was supposed to allude to that particular meaning? I don't thinks so but entirely possible and I'm going to pretend it does because I like the idea of it.
#in stars and time#isat#isat spoilers#rambles#look loop weaves in esoteric insults like that all the time#it's so funny to think of siffrin listening to the conversation and just going#hey!!! what the fuck loop!#and they have to loop back to dormont just to say#i get it now
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Take a look at my boyfriend, he’s the only one I got…🎵🎶🦋
#Sirius black is actually the only thought on my mind at any given point in time ever#Sirius black the loml#i wanted to try drawing butterflies and they were way harder than I thought but whatever#mad respect to anyone who draws anything other than people in 3/4 perspective constantly#i did this at like 1 am last night while listening to the kraken from the pirates of the Caribbean sound track on loop#i just think he’s so cool#atyd sirius#sirius black fanart#marauders fanart#wolfstar#sirius black#marauders#fic: all the young dudes#artfolio#<33#my art
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