#i just hope that i'll be able to get some stuff out :(
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HELLO POOOKIE
Can i ask for hyun-ju with a partner who loves to buy her things? Like dresses, makeup, perfumes, you name it ;3
thank you 🙏🙏
Hiiii!! thank you so much for such a sweet request! 😭🫶
Summary: Your gf is broken so you buy her everything she wants (and more).
Warnings: Just fluff, no use of y/n, g/n reader.
author's note: English is not my first language so, sorry if there's any mistake😞 Hope you enjoy it!!
Hyun-ju x g/n reader!
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Hyun-ju was never the kind of person who would spend a lot of money on herself, as she already spends a lot of her money on her transition, so she wouldn't give herself the gifts she would like.
You knew about that since you met, when you both went shopping you noticed how she admired the cute dresses placed on the mannequins.
Anytime you asked her if she liked it, she would always answer with a simple "it's cute" and look away, too ashamed with herself for not being able to buy it.
"Are you sure you don't want it? It'd look amazing on you" You said while looking at the tight black dress in front of her.
"I don't know my lov-" She started, but you cut her off. "Try it on at least? I'll pay for it" You said excitedly, at first she denied it, but you, being so insistent, finally gave in.
You knew about her economical situation so you offered to buy her the stuff she wanted so much, but she always denied. She didn't like the thought of you spending too much money on her.
One time you both were shopping at Sephora, because you really needed to buy some products. As you were looking around the shop trying to find them, out of the corner of your eye you saw Hyun-ju in the perfume section, spraying her wrist with a perfume bottle to smell them one by one.
"Any that you like?" You asked her, while hugging her by from behind, wrapping your arms around her waist.
"This one actually smells amazing, but it's way too expensive, maybe I'll come next month when I get paid". She said, putting the perfume back in it's place.
Some minutes later, when Hyun-ju was distracted, you picked it up and put it in your bag to pay for it later and give it to her when you got home.
...
"I have a little gift for you" You said while handing her the little box with a golden print. Her eyes widened as she opened the present.
"Honey, you didn't have to" She started
"Shhh it's okay, a little gift (40$😞) won't hurt"
I have the feeling that she would LOVE makeup, but like she would be obsessed with it, loving how she looks when she wears this thin black eyeliner (she'd be SO good at it btw) but of course, almost all of the good quality makeup brands cost like an eyeball, so she would have the most basic stuff. But you love her and want to see her happy, so ofc you would buy her anything she laid her eyes on.
"Darling, don't you think you already bought me enough stuff?" She asked while you picked a Rare Beauty lipgloss and two different blushes.
"You'll pay me when we get back home" You teased while letting a soft peak on her lips.
At the end of those little dates, you would be carrying thousands of bags filled with just gifts for your dear girlfriend.
When the two of you get back to your shared apartment, you would make her try all the cute dresses, skirts and crop tops you bought her.
"You look gorgeous my love" You said while admiring your girlfriend, who was looking at herself in the mirror with a little cute smirk on her face.
Of course she would thank you with a little make out session.
"Thank you for everything baby, I loved it" She muttered as she gently pressed her lips against yours.
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a/n: It's 1 am and I'm so so so tired but I can't sleep 😭
Anyway, I hope you guys liked it!!!
Requests for Hyun-ju are always open🫶
#cho hyunju x reader#hyun ju x reader#player 120 x reader#cho hyun ju#hyunju#player 120#squidgame x reader#squid game#hyun ju squid game
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she's looking especially sacrificial lamb today 🥩
#we're so back baby#i think i'm finallyyyy through the worst of this awful depression i've been in for the past like. month and a half#i mean i woke up this morning and thought ''the sun is so beautiful'' so i think i'm good for now fjksjds#which is great because there's some heavy stuff coming up that i just couldn't handle in that mental state#so i'm hoping i'll be able to move things along a little quicker#but also i might be getting a job in retail against my better judgement so who knows#i've never actually worked in retail... i've done food service and i was a cashier at a pop up shop but nothing like an actual store#but i seriously can't find a job with my degree nor can i even find a desk job. so i'm. man. it's rough out here#i might have to move. but with what money?? lmao the eternal dilemma#SORRY this is a whole diary entry#i hope you guys are well 💖
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also "textless" versions of these, wahooo
#corned beef#joe iconis christmas extravaganza#bsol#speaking of >:3 & >:3 third time's the >:3 in successfully slammed both up against the window of joe iconis's car (twitter @'d & Seen)#which is really just a :3 but whom among us (orchestra hit) is not a little impish with it#first year i did fanart like wouldn't it be fun if joe saw & liked this. second yr like Same plus it did happen last time#then also recency Fun Times bias sure but he did make it a frame in his End Of Year Good Times Celebration video like >:'3#yes i draw exactly what i wanna draw b/c it's some specific thing i enjoy that much so Yep that is the xmas show to me#so powerfully i was moved like ooh fun xmas villain wrole?? in '19 when i was paying attention & relieved of some bmc closure malaise#by the xmas show but obv Least aware / knowledgable lol. technically showed up in '18 around nov/dec but no chance Right then of tuning in#i mean i had the capacity but did not know it existed / even Less helpful preexisting context. anyway so by the time the show returns#& i've done research in between & gone my god i am i live laugh loving like Yeah i'll do more fanart & omg cyril & omg krampusfucking#able to ramp it up this year & like just thanks to Drawing Experience i'm better at forging ahead through thee process even when it's#extra ambitious like my god am i in over my head? well keep swimming for the surface like only several times going [aaa....] only to yknow#not be that tripped up anyway but still go [(celebrate) christmas!!! (with me)] & be like Do It For The Krampusfucking Gift#one post for another like lighting up my life joe just coming out like ''who wants clips. first up Full Cyril Fucks The Krampus number''#like jeez made that happen And passed it along....it's always the like epitome of my art like i make the specific often really niche stuff#i really respond to; does anyone else enjoy this? if yes; Wheeee; sometimes this is also ppl Behind the really niche shit i enjoy#like i truly hope you do get that kick out of it as i slam it up to the window; worth a Highlight Of Your Year or not#the power of [i do like to Draw the things i latch on to] + [internet] for you#really the bsol design even More an event in ''how did i even do this'' b/c even when planning to make it slightly easier like well#fewer figures; i'll use ink pen so i hone the lineart less than i would to precisely get [line weight mostly irrelevant] Line Geometry#yet still going ruh oh i'm honing for sure. but then like did Most of the lineart all in one night + all the coloring the next round#when i draw quite slowly / the Honing is virtually always an inextricable part of my process like i do Nothing in less than Hours#like i think even my freewheeling bsol sketches posted just this morning took me at Least an hour; judging by vids i played in the bg lol#not quite calibrated to have Attuned Confidence In My Ability To Forge Ahead thusly like oh no if i don't have Momentum or it doesn't#happen to be one of those times things just spontaneously come out great right off without more honing / consideration we're fucked....#not actually the case but yknow still realizing this lol But still able to just pat myself on the shoulder like It's Manageable & it is/was
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probably applying to a community college in the next couple months to do some science prereqs
#(regardless of what the transfer admin for my ideal school says i need the prereqs and there's no sense paying $500-$600/credit hr)#my plan is. if he thinks my credits will count for the LE's (gen eds have new name now??) i'll ask for advice on like#which community college/public colleges offer the gen eds for me to transfer in with my app#/should i start an AAS in rad tech first and transfer in#and then i'll sign up for gen admission at one of the community colleges get my prereqs complete and/or get the associates degree#get my references and some patient experience (and see if i have any feasible aptitude for it ofc)#do at LEAST 4 hrs of job shadowing and maybe see about getting dosimetry shadowing as well#THEN........ apply for BS radiography programs n see what happens#I have a 3.5 from my prev degree and most of my super basic placements done from that#if i end up getting all A's-B+'s in my community college/transfer placement courses I'll come in with at least a 3.7 (4.0 if possible)#all these programs are so crazy competitive 😅 so i'm gonna have to do a lot more to get in just to get to the interview stage#and then i gotta do well on the interview#but a lot of the colleges are points based so I need to meet the minimum points to get there anyways#and once i get to interview i gotta hope they like me and my passion gets me through#everyone wants to be a rad tech#not everyone wants to be a rad tech + rad therapy + dosimetrist!!!#I'd really love to be able to get my masters in dosimetry but it depends on a lot of factors#good thing im autistic and i love absorbing info like a sponge...#personal stuff#i did email the transfer admin back!#so we will see how it all shakes out#the 5-6 years will pass anyways yknow?#i wanna have a path i feel happy or content with when i'm 35. i wanna have a career i feel proud of and don't dread going to work for.#also a career that lets me leave this damn country 😅 ffs...
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there has been worse! and there may be worse! but i like to believe in the mundane prevailing
#just me hi#woah what's the world! anyway#in all of time there are people just living. and that is cool :)#there's not much i can do and i'm not gonna bother freaking out it's not productive#one day i'll be able to do something though and i hope i do. and i hope it counts. that's my one thing i think#disappointment and sadness are natural but there's no sense in playing dead so early you know what i mean hfbshv#//anywho !! wanna work on my stuff again but i'm having my usual troubles lmafhsjfvh :'3#not the 'i wanna work on it So bad but for some reason only god knows i Can Not' trouble but the 'how and why and where do i start#[trembling]' trouble lmaoo#i know Where to start and a little of why but i know nothing of How and it's a bit frustrating ghfhjgsf __(:'3 _| )\__#like i c.an't bridge the gap between my differing thoughts it's not helpful#i know Where to start. right there at the beginning !! but i don't know How. like alright what do i Do? how is it Supposed to look ??#which i guess is kind of backwards bc that doesn't get me anywhere to start. it's not Supposed to look any one way you dingus that's why#we're still Here jhjfsbjf oTL#goofy. this guy is looking for somebody to tell it where to go despite knowing its the only one who knows the path at all !!#sigh. sigh. Siiiiigh#but it IS difficult. sigh#anyway i wanna try again today :> so i'm going to !!!#and if i don't get it this time i'll just try again. that's the whole point of it anyway ! !#so TOODLES i'm back to the usual toils bfshvhf o7 o/
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finally did my goddamn dishes. and that wasn't all i managed to do today. fuck yeah.
had a meeting for thesis prep. bmv trip. rough plan for friday's discussion lecture. cooked dinner for the first time in like 3 weeks. read ~50 pages of academic text for 2 classes and a paper revision.
feels like i didn't do enough but. considering that yesterday i managed... going to classes and nothing else! and monday i was only capable of doing the required meetings i had, this is a pretty good day!
#it's been. a tough few weeks. i couldn't focus at all last week. only got work done on the weekend. yesterday was........ tough.#monday wasn't as rough but was equally exhausting#so! proud of myself that i got. stuff done. big stuff even!#started keeping a task/reward journal to help out too :)#so every night i'll write out some tasks that need to get done the next day#and as i finish them i check them off and give myself silly little stickers to track what i managed!#so i get like. 1 sticker per 10 pages read (bc i usually need a break every 10 or so pages rn) 1 sticker in a diff color for chores.#1 for teaching stuff (laying out a lecture plan/finishing the lecture/doing a dry run/doing the lecture) 1 for meetings etc etc#it's helping bc i have a dumbass brain that doesn't give me dopamine for completing tasks anymore#it all gets lumped into 'yeah i did the bare minimum bc that's what i need to do. that's not special-#-no reward for you! you didn't really *do* anything. just scraped bare minimum!'#turns out that's bad for you lmao to get No Rewards#so i have a journal now! so i have hard proof that shows that i've Done Shit.#and i think the last two weeks i've been 1. underfed 2. overtired and 3. on the verge of burnout#so i haven't been able to do much. but a major stressor is gone now! (the bmv trip...)#and it like. immediately lifted a veil from my brain. 0-60 in like 40 minutes flat.#i hadn't realized how stressed about that i'd even been. it was taking up so much of my brain's metaphorical CPU.#so i'm hoping tomorrow i'll be able to do what i was doing two weeks ago. just plugging along at my usual pace#instead of just barely dragging my carcass forward#so! anyway. update that was unasked for but you sure are getting#i fuckin did stuff today! fuck yeah!#it is now an hour past my bedtime i'm gonna crash tf out. bedtime. sleepytime. good night
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rediscovering I have empathy? craaaazyyyyy
#beanie babbles#okay so this is gonna be a vent post but all in the yags#tw pet death#tw death#i hope dont think this is ablest language but its not precise language#Here we go#I never really doubted I have a capacity for empathy. It can be kind of hit or miss- amd even when I dont understand I try to be compassion#-ate. all that good stuff blah blah#Whats a lot more accurate to say is I dont really feel bad for dead people#I'll feel bad at the idea of somone dying maybe. I dont want living people to suffer and die just because.#I get upset when my friends are suicidal or when somone goes out and kills other people or even when a fictional charecter dies sometimes#but the mourning isnt about their death. it sucks that i cant hang out with them any more or that they cant experiance shit any more#but im not crying at a casket#But I did cry when I found my housemates pet bird limp on the floor of the cage today- the other one not seeming to even realize#This is the second time. The first one the birds were closer and the loving one wouldnt stop making noise tryong to get our attention#this one didnt mind as much- was just hungry and looking for some more feed. The feeders were empty and water gross#I stay with the birds every day and make sure they get excerize and enrichment because my housemate cant do that part#but i dont check the nessicities#so that was a shock. I refilled the food compartment after taking the dead bird out and putting them in a box#I dont think thats why they died. These birds have their wongs clipped before purchase and cant flay very well at all#But this bird practiced and was able to get a lot of height and distance as feathers grew back. But didnt know how to stop#Constantly crashing into floors and walls. Thats the main culprit I think#Its just weird that I cry easier over birds and fictional charecters and material things than my family. I feel guilty about it#Not that guilty i got all that angst out in 2020#vent post#not really actually this turned into an explination of events more#anyway#the actual post had nothing to do w9th anything bru
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im just sick of feeling guilty for spending money 😭😭 ..
#og#i wanna save my money so bad but the past year has been really hard on my family. lots of bad shit has been going on#and i just wanted to get stuff to treat everyone so we can have a nice holiday and to show them i love them#but now i have less money in my savings and it makes me really sad </3#im trying to save my money up to eventually get a car which will allow me to get a better job and be able to move out#although i probably wont be able to move out for another few years bc. everything is so expensive#although my mom is trying really hard to find a job even tho i really dont think she should bc she's sick. but like. we're poor#and it's even sadder bc my younger brother wants to get a job to get some money too and it's like. no please it's fine#we can handle it you don't need to help out we're okay right now#OOF SORRY FOR VENT..#next year i just really hope i'll be able to like. save my money up a lot which. idk if i can#so to make myself happy i get myself a lil treat here and there otherwise im probably gonna get depressed LOL
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#[ good afternoon guys! ]#[ planning a relaxing day where i just hang out on here uvu ]#[ i've been so busy recently WELP ]#[ and tomorrow i'm gonna go to my boat to spend a few days there ]#[ t - t finally <5 ]#[ i have some stuff i should draw and get ready for art fight but i...... have no inspo for drawing xD ]#[ i don't know why but i haven't been able to draw anything for like two weeks ]#[ WHICH IS WEIRD ]#[ but i will bring my watercolours to my boat and hopefully get back into art by just doing some relaxing paintings ]#[ ANYWAYS!! i'll hang out here today! hope you're all doing good! ]#toby post. ╱ out of character.
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so hhhh
#1.5 weeks left and i'll be starting at my new workplace#which means i'll be juggling school and work and social media#i won't go on hiatus (i think??) but i do think i won't be able to be active as much#which also means i'll be slower with writing#and i'll do my absolute best to finish c&f and bring hty and cmi8 to y'all but i just#wanna apologise in advance if things get delayed. for some reason i'm already so out of focus so i hope may and june don't make it worse 😭#i feel so bad not just bc you guys are looking forward to that stuff but bc i am too ugh#let's see how things go but i'll try my best to still deliver stuff <3 i know you'll all understand <333#i love u !! <33#personal
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still not doing so hot mentally tbh BUT those headcanon asks did help me put together the energy to do some writing today, so. thank u sm again to everyone who sent them ♡♡♡
#hoping that tomorrow i'll be able to get back to some ic stuff??#but idk man idk if i've burnt myself out or if it's just the Depression rearing it's nasty head again or w h a t#but i have Not been doin good i've been too critical of myself again and i just. have not had the energy & have felt v discouraged#so i'm tryin to be nice to myself. i'll see how i feel tomorrow and just like. hope that i feel up to some writing akjsfsd#think i'm just gonna lurk (& maybe shitpost) for the rest of the night now lmao#━━ ˟ ⊰ ✰ ooc ⋮ don't @ me.
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lol did I just lose 3 followers for mentioning a cool new song? ok
#I've lost followers for less tbh so eh#it's fine lol#hope you'll find what you're looking for elsewhere best of luck to you#honestly thought more people would've left by now with how I can't focus and just draw the darn bombeep they probably follow me for#trust me I want to they're still my fav bois and I wanna do way more stuff with them#but atm idk it's just#sneaky corpse brainworm effin shit up oops#but nws hopefully it can be redirected in a productive direction somehow like towards whitty or something#with the voice headcanons and all that some sort of vibes should be able to be projected somehow maybe idk lol#mmm tbh I wish so bad I could animate or do animatics properly bc I have ideas#bombeep ideas#in relation to bits of various letsplay audio that could be made to work out of context somehow I'm sure ha#anyways it is what it is I'll stop rambling and go get some proper sleep now ok cool#laters bye
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oh rip it's really been so long since I last had cause to order any of my art that some of the places I used to use aren't available anymore.
Especially the place I used to get badges made (and they were such good value for money too rip). The one remaining site I used, Zap, doesn't offer the larger badge size I used to order (58mm) so I'm on the hunt for somewhere else to get them, preferably UK based but I'm not completely ruling out overseas sources.
I used to get prints dirt cheap from another place but that site has changed the way it works now too so I might need to find somewhere else for those as well.
I had been planning on tentatively reopening my old storenvy since I do still have all the old stuff I'd had made ahead of the cons I'd thought I'd be attending back in 2020, and wanted to try to get a little money coming in from offloading those at last, but I also wanted to be ready to reorder anything that did need a little bit of topping up, or finally get a few things made that I'd never got around to before.
Anyway if anyone has any neat recommendations for places they've used in the past I'd love to hear what they are so I can check them out;;;
#I might still open my storenvy and just leave it up with all the old stuff as is#but when im able to draw new digital art to put up on it I hope I'll have sourced some new places to get them all made#I was gonna make TMM badges from my old tmm art since it was all ready to go#and the old place I used to use was super good value for a starving artist like me lol;;;#genuinely sad it's gone tbh. well. it got bought out but the new place doesnt do badges at all anymore so.
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I will feel so tired that it's like my atoms are coming undone and I'm being made unreal...and then I will have a little chocolate treat and for 15 minutes I am whole and present again. Then the horrors
#ramblings of a lunatic#i remember feeling like this at the peak of my burnout and fatigue before#(also the same burnout and fatigue that took my interests and creativity and ground them into dust)#so I've concluded that i will just try and make it through the next two days as best i can (I GET FANCY RESTAURANT FOOD ON WEDNESDAY)#and then I'll just try to let my mental and physical health recuperate while finding excuses to hang w/ friends#cause that'll stave off thr madness of isolation#i wanna watch my shows and movies too and I'll finally be able to w/o guilt after the last exam :cries:#anyway. if you've noticed an uptick in me just sayin shit recently (in a way that may or may not be cause for concern)#it's bc I'm so close to getting out of the mines that having to wait any longer is driving me clinically insane#i wanna downplay the problem bc it's truly not that big a deal in some ways#but then i remembered that this is a) the longest I've gone w/o seeing my pals in like. nearly a month#and I've been at home doing the same stuff everyday for nearly a month too#and also IT'S THE FINAL EXAM I'M EVER GONNA DO BEFORE COLLEGE. IT'S A BIG DEAL MAN#so actually. yes I'm a bit of a drama queen but my slice of life problems have a place for mediation and bemoaning#but it's fine. bc we're gonna kill it#I'm gonna do sooooooo good on this test (<- manifesting)#it's. a little high pressure bc the last time i did a test for this subject (that I'm generally very good at) i majorly beefed it#but I've learned since then and I'm hoping. praying. also working hard but mostly hoping and praying#anyway. I gotta sleep soon bc i got so little sleep last night bc of the heat that i almost started crying at breakfast#LET'S GO LESBIANS (the lesbians are me. it's just me talking into a hall of mirrors)
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I'm finally taking a fucking vacation from my job next week
#I've never gotten the chance to use my vacation time at work before quitting#but Im not currently able to leave where I work and I'll lose my PTO on my anniversary date (sept 13th)#so I decided to say fuck it an use ut the first week of September#wish I could have saved it for the second week since my birthday is September 15th but again my PTO gets reset the 13th#so this will have to do#I'm not going on an actual vacation this year. just planning various enjoyable activities and day trips throughout the week#Im hoping on the first day to attend a local flea market#and the next day or two to go swimming before the pool in my apartment complex closes for the year#I also plan to visit a historical town thats about a half hour away from where I live#and I'm definitely going to sleep in a lot of these days cause I need to catch up on some sleep finally#I'll probably draw on my less busy days#and maybe I can knock out a chapter or 2 of the story I've been writing#tbh luck is never with me so the chances of me actually getting to do half of this stuff is slim#but at least I can say I have plans#I'm gonna try n do this stuff even if I have to go alone#I hate waiting around for others so I can go out and have a good time#like yeah some of these activities are better with other people#but people often find excuses to get out of hanging out or going places. or they're busy with work#and I don't want to waste the 7 days Im gonna have off so Im gonna try n do something meaningful during them#the weather also will effect how my plans turn out. I bet it'll rain the entire week lol. that'd be my luck#but Im still gonna try and have a decent time off#at the absolute least I am going to relax and unwind. thats the bare minimum I can doo#sam's rants about life
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Dam hi hello I never rly make text posts bc I dont know how to just yap away on tumblr but sorta status update that I wanna share here bc I post so rarely-
Lot of ppl would prolly say "hey we know u got a life and you're busy u cant always draw" but my ass has had so much time the past several years and I just couldnt get myself to draw
Well, I'm finally on a waitlist for an adhd diagnosis bc maybe just maybe not being able to do the things I want to do (and my responsibilities) wasnt just a depression thing oops
#miko talks#I've been kinda just beating myself up over it and upset that I didnt have frequently new oc stuff to yap about or the energy to make#drawings that lean more into the storytelling aspect#as of now only my discord friends rly know wtf is even going on with my ocs bc I like to headcanon in dms#I never know where to start if I were to share it online bc I?? Idk if Im cut out to make comics and I never truly got into proper writing#my writing style is literally just thinking of random scenarios and moments and stringing it together like a headcanon#and never an actual story start with an actual pov and fluorescent language or whatever lmao its just#“and then I imagine them doing this and that and if they did this that would be kinda fun wouldnt it”#so yeah Im definitely still figuring out how to work on that more#also once I have that adhd/autism diagnosis done with I do hope that my speculation isnt wrong I always doubt myself even tho I've pondered#this over for the past 3 years- well I hope I can get some sorta meds that clear up this invisible blockade in my brain#I dont know what to expect Im sorta anxious of how I'll feel like everybody else I heard talking about it that if I take the meds if I rly#am just gonna be able to machine gun out all the ideas in my brain without holding myself back anymore hah#oh well 15 months wait time lmaoo woop dee doo wish me luck Im also going to school again dskjfhsdf
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