#but at least I can say I have plans
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I'm finally taking a fucking vacation from my job next week
#I've never gotten the chance to use my vacation time at work before quitting#but Im not currently able to leave where I work and I'll lose my PTO on my anniversary date (sept 13th)#so I decided to say fuck it an use ut the first week of September#wish I could have saved it for the second week since my birthday is September 15th but again my PTO gets reset the 13th#so this will have to do#I'm not going on an actual vacation this year. just planning various enjoyable activities and day trips throughout the week#Im hoping on the first day to attend a local flea market#and the next day or two to go swimming before the pool in my apartment complex closes for the year#I also plan to visit a historical town thats about a half hour away from where I live#and I'm definitely going to sleep in a lot of these days cause I need to catch up on some sleep finally#I'll probably draw on my less busy days#and maybe I can knock out a chapter or 2 of the story I've been writing#tbh luck is never with me so the chances of me actually getting to do half of this stuff is slim#but at least I can say I have plans#I'm gonna try n do this stuff even if I have to go alone#I hate waiting around for others so I can go out and have a good time#like yeah some of these activities are better with other people#but people often find excuses to get out of hanging out or going places. or they're busy with work#and I don't want to waste the 7 days Im gonna have off so Im gonna try n do something meaningful during them#the weather also will effect how my plans turn out. I bet it'll rain the entire week lol. that'd be my luck#but Im still gonna try and have a decent time off#at the absolute least I am going to relax and unwind. thats the bare minimum I can doo#sam's rants about life
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I don't know who needs to hear this, but as a creator -
I am fine with "the audience" -
downloading my fics
printing my fics
copy/pasting or screenshotting my fics
sharing your saved copy of my fics with anyone else who might want them in the unlikely but never impossible case that my fics are no longer available on ao3
making a book of my fic(s) and running your fingers across the pages while lovingly whispering my precioussss
doing these things with anything I create for fandom, such as meta, headcanons, au nonsense like 'texts from the brodinsons,' etc
I am not fine with "the audience"
doing any of the above with the purpose/intent of plagiarizing my work or passing it off as their own in any capacity
feeding my work into ai for any reason whatsoever
Save the fandom things. Preserve the fandom things. Respect the fandom things.
Enjoy the fandom things.
#fanfic#ao3#archive of our own#fandom things#tumblr things#i may have said this at some point#i'm sure i have#but whatever - just in case#i don't say this with the presumption that i'm so amazing and people are clamoring to save my fics#but just if anyone is so inclined that's all#ftr i don't intend on ever removing my fics from ao3 or deleting fandom things from this blog#i've always shared my fandom things with the intent of keeping them shared bc that's the whole point of posting#but the fandom atmosphere and ao3 constantly being under attack who knows what can happen#not that this applies to anyone but should all else fail you can also reach out to me and i will personally give you a copy#at least of fics bc i save everything#not so much the tumblr things but this is a good reminder to myself that i should do that for the things i care about#that i've made or done and only posted here#anyway sorry i have now used up my quota of the putting words into sentences doing for today#i have plans to stare into the void now
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Buttercups and Golden Flowers
#i drew this mostly because i noticed that a lot of people mistake buttercups and golden flowers as being the same thing.#so i wanted to try drawing them like. distinctly different in the same image.#it's not a big thing but i do think the fact that they're different has some significance. or at least like. symbolic meaning.#my art#undertale#chara#chara dreemurr#safeutdr#something about the fact that they both look similar at least in color but one of them is poisonous.#the way golden flowers are clearly a positive symbol throughout the game and clearly heavily associated with Chara.#contrasted with the very negative connotations buttercups have. with asgore getting sick and chara using them in their plan.#you never see buttercups in the game. which makes it even easier to mistake the two. because we've only seen one kind of#golden/yellow flower. who's to say 'golden flowers' aren't just referring to buttercups? well.#why would there be golden flower tea if they were poisonous? why would chara want to see the golden flowers from their village if they're#the same kind of flower? they clearly have buttercups in the underground.#it feels almost intentional the way golden flowers are so easily mistaken for buttercups. or at least that the difference is so subtle.#it goes well with the way they're associated so strongly with chara who's also a very subtle yet important part of the narrative.#from a surface-level perspective the flowers that took their life and the one's they actually like/are important to them are the same thing#but when you pay closer attention to the narrative you can see the different symbolic meanings.#well. uhh I've thought about it too much don't mind me.#see i think about it from the perspective of chara being super adamant about them being two different flowers#and frustrated when anybody gets it wrong. because clearly. CLEARLY they're not the same.#'STOP confusing buttercups and golden flowers. i literally used buttercups to kill myself do you think i would still like them after that?'#'do you think i want to be associated with them? they're not the same!!'#<number one golden flower enjoyer number one buttercup hater.#i need a badge that says 'i have strong opinions about chara dreemurr because i kin them. i apologize for the wall of text' at this rate.
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Curly had two days to act and Swansea had two months.
I think it’s just interesting that every defense of Swansea not immediately acting are the same ones that are argued against for Curly. “He didn’t want to alert Daisuke or makes things worse for Anya either Jimmy!” I mean people also assume that about Curly and the crew. “He has to think about his plan of action and a right moment!” Again so did Curly, power and authority aside, he still would have to think of what he had to do. “He makes sure he doesn’t have to be around Jimmy!” So did Curly and they only do this to an extent, both give Jimmy more than a few opening to keep harassing Anya.
This isn’t defense of Curly nor a damnation of Swansea. Their actions are very parallel to each others in tragic and sour ways when it comes to how they approached helping Anya. In the grand scheme of it all they both did the same thing: Nothing. No action either took stopped the inevitable outcome of her death nor Jimmy’s continued damage to themself.
The only real difference is Swansea didn’t like Jimmy which is pretty substantial, but also just as damning as Curly knowing how bad Jimmy could get to an extent. He had even less of a reason to wait, even more of a reason to act seeing as he was now worried for Anya AND Daisuke. He is not bound by the possible procedure as Captain and actively does not care about what happens next. So what does it matter if he acted in the moment? Why did he wait? I think he’s just as morally complex and grey as Curly and we hold him on a pedestal that still perpetuates things in rape culture the game critiques.
It’s not just enough to dislike and be abrasive to predators/abusers like Jimmy. It’s not enough to just put yourself between them and the other person. It’s not enough to hold tensions when you know someone is vulnerable. He and Curly do the exact same things but on different sides of the coin. I ask how is it better to not turn a blind eye but still not really do anything about what you are seeing? Not until it affects you atleast…
The game makes a big point to not put men doing the bare minimum or who wait to do more on pedestals and I’m actually surprised so many are missing that point.
#like I’m sorry two months? he couldn’t have explained it at all to Daisuke?#he’s no better than Curly and it’s likely Anya found comfort in the fact that Jimmy would at least avoid being around Swansea#tho everything he went off to drink or passed out she would be acutely reminded that things are still taking precedent in his head#she is not his top concern nor is seeking justice for her like he is admittedly more concerned about Daisuke he doesn’t mention her#outside of the fact that they were def talking about what Jimmy did and likely the fact he might’ve crashed the ship but pls don’t mistake#his final acts as being majority for Anya. the game keeps showing how these men keep prioritizing things over her even when they say they#won’t and it’s sad it’s so sad that we keep trying to say but what about him like they all do it#it’s not intentional but that’s what’s also bad about it like I doubt she made a suicide plan with him two months in advance#these characters are acting to get out of this and she knows her ending is not happy if she leaves or not she’s taking that choice to do it#and hell Swansea might not have known by the way he speaks to Daisuke and Jimmy that that was her plan to khs#likely either to just keep her and Curly locked in med bay until they got rescued or died#but it’s all speculation and thinking and I can only implore people to think why are you giving Swansea more credit?#cause I see him bittersweetly so used to the negatives he cares not for futile efforts#two months vs two days and each time nothing was really done for her other than prolonging her suffering around Jimmy#Swansea slept outside utility was drunk most of the time and it’s clear Jimmy was able to have access to Anya whenever#I mean look at the teaser where they sit at the table he is far from her with Daisuke#like it’s just frustration at this point thinking any guy on that ship was doing good by Anya specifically and not for their own reasons#like at least Curly was direct on the issue he still did mostly Jack shit but Swansea doesn’t even let Jimmy know he knows#and that’s another issue in rape culture of men avoiding calling other men what they are even if they hate them like#the game plays with the idea of knowing vs acknowledging and neither truly acknowledge it as a part of their actions#against Jimmy and god no one did better than Anya for Anya. they just weren’t heinous like Jimmy#mouthwashing#mouthwashing game#curly mouthwashing#captain curly#swansea mouthwashing#anya mouthwashing#nurse anya#it’s not all men but all men can and do play a part especially in the extreme scenario mouthwashing deposits
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#persona 4#p4#persona 4 golden#p4g#hanamura yosuke#yosuke hanamura#souyo#ok ok listen this scene is so goddamn funny because UP CLOSE AND PERSONAL WAS YOSUKES PLAN ALL ALONG#THIS WAS HOW HE WAS SELLING IT TO YU WHEN HE WAS TRYING TO CONVINCE YU TO GET HIS MOTORCYCLE LICENSE#so when rise says this yosuke of all people should have gotten really excited because hey at least the plan is kind of working out ???#also HELLO its THE risette??? except no he goes straight towards shooting her down#doesnt even play along do not pass go do not collect $200 just dismisses it handily without thought#why some may even argue that yosuke is a bit sensitive about yu being squeezed by someone#its me im some#also yosuke has offered go give yu a ride on his bicycle before so yknow isnt that inchresting#his bicycle definitely only has one seat so doesn't that make it even more up close and personal and romantic#yosuke: we can get up close and personal with others!#also yosuke: no not like that not with other people#I GUESS idk poor boy's just very confused and a disaster issokay#he's good with his queue
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FOUR THOUSAND FAIRYHAOS ENJOYERS WHAT IN THE HOLY FUCK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
thank you so much everyone. im so serious. i say this all the time but i genuinely did Not expect so many people to love me and the things i write like,,,, that's insane to me??????? and for there to be FOUR THOUSAND. i think that's more people than ive actually met in person in my entire life and to think there are THAT MANY of you with me is just. i can't even express how incredible and amazing that is.
I LOVE YOU ALL and while i don't have anything prepared (i didn't expect this to happen so soon HELPPP) i am giving u all big smacking forehead kisses as we speak!!!!!!!!! 💗💗💗💗
thank you. i love you. and again, i love you all. thank you so much. <3
#fairyhaos.milestones#DRVASTATEDDDDD that i didnt plan for this milestone oh my god i want to say thank you in a thousane difterent ways but#i can only say it in one :(((((#“yena didnt you see the number going up couldn't you have planned for this” yes well i didnt think of that. i thought itd take longer#maybe. guys maybe what do you think about a fairyhaos fandom name#cz i vant just keep calling you fairyhaos enjoyers forever bc that just sounds kind of pretentious#and at least a fandom name can be something fucking stupid and silly you know??#ANYWAY IM STRAYING FROM THR MAIN POINT. THABK YOU SO MUVH THANK YOU I LOVE YOY
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the kids released a new album
#ts4#simblr#ts4 edit#ts4 render#sims 4#myedits#AUverse#dhestyn#kelly#ok i actually have things to say about this#FIRST OF ALL this is not what i intended to make when i sat down & started working on the bandAU#i had this big elaborate thing planned & then i realized... i didn't wanna do it. at least. not right now lol#idk why i think everything i make needs to be so elaborate & involved bc it doesn't?? like where did i get that idea from?#i can just make something small & silly sometimes yk#n e way. this is like. one of the kids' albums i guess? my thought is that dhes wrote it/was in charge of it#that's why he's on the cover.#kel writes most of their albums (w help from the others ofc) but dhes really wanted to try writing one & this is what came of it#most of the titles don't actually mean anything. they're just like. random words i thought dhes would use lol#but the first 3 are references to the canonverse#also i originally wanted to have dhes shirtless bc 1. symbolism of like vulnerability?#but also 2. i thought the lighting would look pretty against his skin#BUT he has a death note tattoo right there between his shoulder blades & i just.......... could not take him seriously like that so#he had to keep his clothes on
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i feel like im not making any sense but does anyone else feel like there are stories that let u run with them and ones that spell everything out for you
#im reading that post that says artists are directors of audience reaction and not its dictator:#'you cannot guarantee that everyone viewing your work will react as you are trying t make them react. a good artist knows that this is what#allows work to breath. by definition you cannot have art where the viewer brings nothing to the table ... this is why you have to let go of#the urge to plainly state in text exactly how you think the work should be interpreted ... its better to be misinterpreted sometimes than#to talk down to your audience. you wont even gain any control that way; people will still develop their opinions no matter what you do#im thinking abt this again cuz i was thinking maybe the thing that lets adventure time work so well the way it does is cuz it doesnt#take itself too seriously that it gives the audience enough room to fuck with subtext and then fuck with them back yknow. i think it was#mentioned somewhere that they werent even planning to run with the postapocalyptic elements that are hinted in the show but changed their#mind after the one off with the frozen businessmen and dominoed into marcy and simons backstory. on the other side there are stories that#explain too much to let the story speak for itself and i think it ends up having to do more with the crew trying to lead ppl in a certain#direction than expand on what they have and i see a lot of this with miraculous. like when interviews and tweets are used as word of god in#arguments and it becomes a little stifling to play around with it knowing the creator can just interject. u can say its the crews effort to#engage with its audience but it feels more like micromanaging. and none of this is to say there ISNT room for stories that spell things out#theyre just suited for different things. if sesame street tried abstract approaches to themes and nuance itd be counterproductive#a lot of things fly over my head so i need help picking things apart to get it- but it doesnt have to be from the story itself. ive picked#picked up or built on my own interpretations listening to other ppl share their thoughts which creates conversation around the same thing#sometimes stories will spell things out for you without being so obvious abt it that it feels like its woven into the text. my fav example#for this might be ATLA using younger characters as its main cast but instead of feeling like its dumbed down for kids to understand why war#is bad its framed from a childs point of view so younger audiences can pick up on it by relating to the characters. maybe an 8 year old#wont get how geopolitics works but at least they get 'hey the world is a little more complicated than everyone vs. fire nation'. same for#steven universe bc its like theyre trying to describe and put feelings into words that kids might not have so they have smth to start with#especially with the metaphors around relationships bc even if it looks unfamiliar as a kid now maybe the hope is for it to be smth you can#look back to. thats why it feels like these shows grew up with me.. instead of saving difficult topics for 'when im ready for it'#as if its preparing me for high school it gave me smth to turn in my hands and revisit again and again as i grow. stories that never#treated u as dumb all along. just someone who could learn and come back to it as many times as u need to. i loved SU for the longest time#but i felt guilty for enjoying it hearing the way ppl bash it. bc i was a kid and thought other ppl understood it better than me and made#feel bad for leaning into the message of paying forward kindness and not questioning why steven didnt punish the diamonds or hold them#accountable. but im rewatching it now and going oh. i still love this show and what it was trying to teach me#yapping#diary
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I'm gonna froth at the mouth over this in the tags so bear with me but reason #1278038 why the way rick went about breaking up jiper was bad: rereading her povs in hoo where she gushes over jason feels like even more of an unreliable narrator queer girl comphet psychological horror story
#it's not that that isn't interesting (it's fascinating actually. especially for a daughter of aphrodite!!!)#it's that it Obviously wasn't his og intention. the ending of hoo is clearly intended to give a positive impression of jiper#this is worsened because shelper is wildly underdeveloped so it's like Dude what did you even do this for#literally just an afterthought. a footnote really. he said “ok here's your canon sapphic rep pls stop shipping theyna now” /j#she was a main character in one of the main couples in hoo it's so crazy? how can that happen. he would never do this to percabeth#can you imagine if percabeth broke up offscreen and 2 months later annabeth was with some complete rando and then percy died. girl what#it's the kind of setup/payoff issue that is difficult to put into words because he set up something (jiper and all its complex morality)#to ultimately be good because they're making the choice to love each other in the end (poorly executed but whatever I don't hate it)#and then in toa????? he just obliterates them for no payoff and creates a new impression of the most literal case of comphet imaginable? wh#toa is my absolute least favorite sorry#marginally related but if we can Be. Chill. and acknowledge that he originally wrote nico as crushing on annabeth#(we can argue all day about how Definite the crush was but come on. he did not put percy's speculation of it in there for no reason)#(and he obviously did not plan for nico to be gay back then you will literally never convince me of this)#(representation was NOT on his mind in the first 5 books that's why the cast is almost completely white except charles and ethan)#(the disposable poc who die tragically btw)#then I see a similarly confusing debacle but like. in the opposite way#something something sexuality is fluid you can be gay and feel confused about how u used to have a het crush but are still gay#nico says so himself to piper which is hilarious#it's just the lack of consistency and poor planning that I hate........... it is a ginormous pet peeve of mine and it's All Over His Books#piper already reads as having so much growing to do regarding her gender and sexuality because Somebody#(the man writing her) littered her pov with internalized misogyny/anti hyperfemininity and went nowhere with it#rr crit#percy jackson and the olympians#piper mclean#jason grace#pjo hoo toa#anti jiper#<- I PROMISE I am not actually anti-jiper I am very neutral about it as I am with all jason ships. they had cute moments#tagging that just in case#this comes from a place of deep love for the franchise and it's characters btw I have been a fan since I was 8
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Call me old fashioned but when I see suffering alongside those who are not suffering (in the same way at least), my first thought is not to drag down those who are happy so they can experience suffering themselves, but to instead try and work out how those suffering can be raised up so everyone is living happily and peacefully.
And if to stop one group suffering, I must instead pass that pain onto others, I simply don't make a decision about who I executively decide to be mose deserving of suffering but instead put in the effort to find another way
#jumblr#this is about I/P#seeing suffering in Gaza should not make peope want to see israelis suffer#thats not productive and its not pro-peace#its pro antisemitic spite and isnt very sibtle#the suffering in gaza is horrific and needs to end. I have feelings about the beat way to go about that but thats a separate thing#the idea that peole belive the best way to end suffering is to give it to those they decide deserve it is embarassing#and makes it clear they're pro torture but they dont want to say the quiet part out loud yet#at least have the guts to be a bigot in public rather than being a coward about it#if the only way you can envision peace involved a genocide in israel then maybe you need to try again and actually try to solve the issue#if any plan to peace involves mass slaughter to remoge “the other” then youre just as bad as the people you claim to hate
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tiny guy in a BLANKET NEST wearing a T-SHIRT
#non-rebloggable you'll get the whole deal later#text blurred because i'm taking it out of context but you can have fun trying to guess who is saying what#ok i just checked and the tiny dazai angst had 37 panels#this one has at least 32 so far and i NEED to finish planning the last part#i need this to be done i've been on and off it for too long#apparently i talk sometimes
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a lot of posts right now seem to rely on the idea that what happened in Aeor is common knowledge throughout Exandria, but based on what we know I don't necessarily think that's the case? back in Bassuras, an 18 history check (which would be a very high roll for an "average" person) only got Imogen the names of Age of Arcanum cities and the vaguest of context. in the most recent Cooldown, Matt talked about how most people have a similarly broad understanding of the calamity, and didn't know the reason the gods were warring in the first place.
There are of course specificalists and experts, like Imahara Joe or the professor they met in Yios or many of the high-level clergy of Vasselheim, that likely already know what happened in some amount of detail. And of course, many people's opinions on the gods would not change one way or another upon learning the details. But I think there are a lot more people who don't know the gods decimated an entire city than people realize.
#critical role#also with matt having allura and keyleth make mention of rebellions sparking up over exandria and rv's recruitment numbers spiking#i do not think a collective shrug of thr shoulders is the main reaction he plans on focusing on if Ludinus shows everyone Downfall#or that the random commoner who has a little shrine to the Everlight knows that she helped kill so many people just like them#and i guess people can say 'well the hells are specifically uneducated about the gods!' are they? like uniquely uneducated?#orym at the very least is definitely more well read than the average exandrian
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HELP! I've fallen down a Bering and Wells hole again and can't stop watching fanvids. I misssssss them!!! 😢
#I'm also thinking about a platonic Pete & Myka soulmate AU and all the bickering that would come with it#Like Pete trying to feel out what the rules are for him dating someone if she and him are soulmates#and Myka's like 'I literally never want to talk about who you have sex with ever'#“But-” / “NOPE! Just do whatever you want Pete!”#And then later as joke (but delivered completely seriously) she says she wants full approval of any serious relationship he has#And she'll be the one planning the proposal for him#(No no no! That's not happening.)#Actually! She might just play matchmaker for him too because she's not sure she can trust his judgement#... or his ability to make a good first impression.#“You wanted my input remember?” / “Not like that!”#And then even LATER when she meets Amanda for the first time she's like 'Wow that's your ex-wife? Man you really fucked up there."#“Yeah thanks for that Myka. That's very helpful.”#“No chance of winning her back?”#“Winning back my ex-wife who's about to be remarried? No I think that ship has sailed.”#“Yeah.... My ex girlfriend is a hologram now so at least this is a step up from that.”#“I never agreed to HG being your girlfriend.”#“.... Yeah but I wanted to.”#“.... Okay this is getting way too gloomy for a wedding day. We need to stuff ourselves with cake.”#Warehouse 13#Myka Bering#Pete Lattimer#Helena Wells#Bering and Wells#my fic#(I guess accidentally in the tags lol)#(idk I'm tired man. My head is all over the place today :P)
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Game developers: it takes only 72 hours to finish this game in full, including sidequests!
Me: *96 hours of gameplay later* okay, I just finished chapter one of 17.
#don’t overestimate my abilities to fuck around and still somehow not find out#chapter one is just the intro lmao#let’s be real tho. ill be on chapter 3 at least at that point.#replaying Wylde flowers for the past few days and while I’m speedrunning being rich#I plan to drag every season of this playthrough out till it’s asking me if I need help lmao#I have multiple games on my switch rn with over 20 hours#that says I should have finished it in like 17#but I am honestly nowhere near done with it#I’m here for a good time the plot can wait I got berries to pick
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So, i said that i would try to make a Sun Wukong costume for my plushie, and i intend to keep my word!
So right now i've got..
WIP of attempt number 1 of the tiger skin skirt, im not sure If it will end up good but If It doesn't i can always try again
Mini book accurate Ruyi Jingu Bang (i tried writting in chinese multiple times but it's too small and my brush is too big 😭 so i tried to make the shapes of the letters at least, so It looks like there's something written on it)
Look at her with the staff! :D (she can't stand up straight lol, so Sunny has to sit on a brush for the picture)
And WIP of attempt number 1 and number 2 of the golden circlet. (Twisting the metal was a nightmare-) I think number 2 will look better, but we will see.
I want to try making a robe too, but i got no idea how im gonna do that yet, i'll have to see what materials i have.
And i want to try making a goard for her to carry, that will probably be easier to do
#since i can't cosplay as Sun Wukong (yet) at least i can make a mini cosplay for my plushie#oh and its my birthday today#i don't really have a post planned about it so im just gonna say it here#artists on tumblr#art#sun wukong#lego monkie kid#lmk#jttw#xi you ji#wip#doll customization#plush toy#toy customization#cosplay (sort of?)#journey to the west wukong#journey to the west#black myth wukong#accessories#plushies#ruyi jingu bang#monkey king#i think im learning new skills everytime i start a new project. It's fun! :D
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Sometimes your Mental Illness™ is kicking your ass and all you can do is offer the first hot, non-leftover meal you managed to prep in the day at 10:30 pm to Apollo & ask for help getting to *and* getting through your appointment tomorrow and that's okay
#the first thing i offered over the past two or three days b/c OOH boy this depression has HANDS#gonna be talking to my psychiatrist about changing meds b/c i think i've finally developed a tolerance to mine & im already on the high dose#so i dont really want to up it any more than it already has been (which is what she suggested last appointment)#i usually at least offer at hot meals but i didnt have the energy for that even#it doesnt help that im recovering from a big work presentation where i ran tech (aka keeping the powerpoints & other visual aids running)#all. day. which *i* offered to do but that doesnt make it any less tiring#...i also think i forgot to offer something to hermes that i was meaning to. gonna have to do that#i *was* planning on doing a tarot check-in on friday but uh. im definitely not in the right emotional headspace for that atm#gonna have to wait for when i can do more than lie in bed all day#listen to your body & brain folks. it's okay if all your energy has to go into riding something out#& you dont have the energy for all the rituals/prayers/offerings/etc that you usually do#coriander says#helpol#hellenic pagan#hellenic polytheism#hellenic community#apollo#my post#mental health cw#depression cw#ive been offering the steam from hot meals to hestia too ofc b/c. you know. first & last#it felt weird not mentioning that somewhere#i *do* offer to just her or to her 'and all the deathless gods of olympus' too
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