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#i just have to sort out my brain
trillscienceofficer · 2 months
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the fic in question (a WIP, if it wasn't clear) is here
ETA: I also completely misremembered the title of the Xena episode LMAO, it's “Been There, Done That” but I can't change it now
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juniemunie · 4 months
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[Abandoned by the Lightners, his heart became cracked with hatred.]
Hitting a lil' too close to home?
#junie art post#ink sans#error sans#utmv#errorink#implied. but yea not the focus#this has been turning around in my mind for quite some time. im glad to finish it lmao idk if my ramblings make sense even.#so like listen. do you ever think about how similar the function of the utmv is to the dark worlds in deltarune.#in a meta narrative to fandom sense? idk the word#we are making exaggerated expanded worlds of the ordinary tools and entertainment of the real world and make it into something more#isnt that very very interesting?#and we explore every sort of possibility in that creation. both good and bad#and when all is said and done. every possibility found and the entertainment and secrets has all run out#we put it away. abandon and leave it behind#what is left? what happens to the world and characters we have created? can it sustain without us?#what of the ones left in the dark?#idk if yall saw me a few months ago but i reblogged comyet's old post of ink begging us not to leave him alone and to keep creating#yea that never left me#and seeing exactly THAT SCENARIO in deltarune made my brain iTCH#imagine an ink in King's position.... wait isnt that just underverse#mmmmmmm. darkner ink.....#also error is here too. not just for errorink or that i can't separate these two to save my life#but error is also one of the few people to be able to GET IT?? he can hear the creators too. ink cant#but hes pretty much programmed himself to avoid having a mental break down to this via reboot memory loss.#and ink has his own internal coping mechanism (hooray for short term memory loss)#these two idiots will do anything but confront truths lmfao#ahhh my favorite idiots. never change#mmmmm#deltarune
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ropes3amthoughts · 27 days
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This is such a mess but do you guys get my vision
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clouvu · 10 months
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Offering lil doodles of them bc my eyes have been opened
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*tries to organize my thoughts*
*remembers i'm not in school and therefore beholden to neither heaven nor hell nor any man's grading system*
*joyously shredding & tossing all my carefully arranged 3x5 mental notecards into the air like so much beige confetti. raising my arms in victory, cheering raucously until i accidentally inhale bits of homemade confetti*
(*coughing up itty bits of paper like a cat evicting a hairball with a firm understanding of tenants' rights*) wait wat happens next
#i marie kondoed my thoughts and *i* feel great. but now my stream-of-consciousness has escaped containment#so many innocent bystanders at stake#every time i try to organize my thoughts i run out of plastic bins and have to make a trip to the container store where i get even more dis#racted so. you can't just hand me THIS brain and NO catalogue OR library classification system#and expect me to single-handedly sort through all this nonsense? bad form but fucking form not in my job description#aNYways. formal education sure did a FUCKING NUMBER on us huh#(a number i measure not in gpa or dollars of student debt.#but in the number of therapy sessions & medical debt it will take to recover.)#seriously folks. our education systems are...innately traumatizing for a huge number of students. and we NEED to address this.#the fact that it is culturally common for adults to have anxiety nightmares about school/exams...even decades later?#that is not cute. it is Alarming.#no one--much less entire generations--should be spending their developmental years in an environment of chronic stress & pressure & strain#and yet that is the reality for millions and millions of pre-teen and teenage and young adult students#this isn't healthy and it serves and empowers NO ONE#...except of course the many exploitative educational & financial & debt-collecting institutions thriving from the current balance of power#and of course it's a nefarious and powerful way to sabotage/erase the middle class#which billionaires and the wealth-inequality creators they finance couldn't possibly have any noteworthy interest in whatsoever#it's not like there's an elite group of people with huge financial incentives to drain/steal resources from the masses...#anyways sorry for going all Conspiracy Theory on you.#obviously the billionaires who control the vast majority of our resources and news and political campaign funding#are not tied to every single itty bitty social issue and i'm a silly billy to imply it#please tell elon musk to ignore this tweet i am so subservient and acquiescent#mr musky u r so good at inheriting slavery-built mining fortunes & buying other people's companies#& building rocket ships & fancy cars that do NOT explode/catch fire & also NOT running billion dollar companies into the ground#mr musky u r so talented genius billionaire playboy with 10 kids and ex-wives who find you creepy af babe u r basically iron man
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puppyeared · 1 year
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personal character design headcanons + brainrot
Note: the re-bound!au does NOT belong to me, it belongs to @chipper-smol I’m just not normal about it lol
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#I SAY PERSONAL BC ITS MY OWN SPIN ON IT. NOT CHIPPERS CANON UNLESS THEY DECIDE TO OR NOT YOU HEAR ME /LH#I made a banner and everything this time. PLWEASE send them your questions not me JAJFHDSF#I thought it would be cool if macaque has two separate forms as a shadow and inside a mindscape. like I wanted his shadow form to reflect#him in his prime and then the mindscape form as what he looked like when he died. or a more vulnerable state at least#based on LBD appearing to MK as the ivory lady when she died in the S3 special. I don’t know exactly what it was but my first thought seein#the white void was she was appearing to MK in his mindscape to talk to him. so I built on that#I wanted to give him a more ‘Smokey’ look as a shadow just based on how he manipulates them in the show like in shadow play. I hope this#makes it look cool and immaterial. and then his mindscape form would be more battered up and tangible#the last couple images are chippers ideas though since they said the monkeys are drawn to MK when macaque is possessing him lol#and the fact that macaque doesn’t have any senses unless he’s possessing someone + literally sniffing out wukong in the scroll ��📸#I also have a vivid image of macaque moving from the mindscape to physical form like umm. kind of like when he passes the boundary between#physical and spirit/mind(?) it’s like the shadow covers him like ink. or pulling Saran Wrap over your face and it clings to your skin#so it kind of makes the shadow seem like a sort of shell or covering.. and I love the idea of MK meeting macaque in the mindscape for the#first time too. like the moment mac rescues him from LBD and MK sees him all battered and tired looking brooooooo#I’m not even sure if that would count as a mindscape but it rattles around in my brain like loose marbles#god I fucking love this au. gives me imagination fuel swear to god#my art#doodles#lmk#Lego Monkie kid#Monkie kid#lmk au#re-bound!au#rebound au#lmk sun wukong#lmk swk#lmk macaque#lmk six eared macaque#lmk mk#lmk xiaotian
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Holes. Keys. What Have You.
I have full analyses I've been wanting to actually do and gather images for over the entire past year, but in the meantime, have this <3.
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Woe, a thing I've been cooking for weeks be upon ye!!
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A two parter story about Nine not keeping his mouth shut when asked and the result of that, which he didn't bother sticking by and see through, of which Part 1 is at the ready and spans 7,870 words!!!
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His foot met soft grass that was slightly wet either from morning dew or recent heavy rain, and the portal closed right behind him.
Putting his hand above his face to block out the bright sun, Nine looked around the new universe.
At first, he would've written it off as just yet another Green Hill with the rolling grassy plains and radiant blue sky, but upon closer inspection, there were barely any hills and the grass seemed far too irregular to be that of the ever-present universe he keeps stumbling upon.
Whatever this place was, it turned out he didn't find himself too far away from a village, which, he wasn't sure was all that good news. Dealing with people, and especially strangers, was still far from his favorite activities, but the fox decided to shoot his shot anyway, seeing as there literally wasn't anything for as far as the eye could see but grass and more grass.
"Well hello there new face!"
...Of course.
"It's not too often we get outsider visitors, what brings you here!"
The ever-familiar blue hedgehog stood just ways off next to him with his hand outstretched for a greeting handshake.
Nine figured it was only polite to return the pleasantries, although his attention was immediately grabbed by the clothes this Sonic was wearing and just how young he looked.
The simple, golden crown sitting on his forehead, with a collared baby blue, long-sleeved shirt with wide cuffs adorned by gold and darker blue pants tucked into yellow, knee-high boots sure was something that Nine didn't think in any universe to be the hedgehog's style, especially not for his younger self, but he's seen all manner of things at this point.
"The name's Dream, guardian of the positive apples, nice to meet you."
Alright, color him even more curious in the first five seconds.
"Nine, I am... just passing by."
Nine looked around inconspicuously and found no twin-tailed fox in sight. Strange.
"Oh, well, depending on how long you plan on staying, I could be your tour guide!"
The chipper attitude of this Sonic must've rubbed off on him already as he didn't have it in him to decline, and nodded.
Following after the exited blue spike ball, the casual chatter and ambiance of the settlement almost immediately enveloped him, and he dared to say it almost felt cozy. The houses were made almost fully of wood and frequented dirt paths layered with rocks tied them together.
The inhabitants that noticed him — both human and mobian alike — gave him strange looks, but besides being used to that, the fox decided to chalk it up to looking extremely out of place in a primitive (ahem, simple) place like this.
Sonic on the other hand waved at and greeted almost every other person they came across. This means he must be either really popular, or everyone here knew each other by default given the relatively small size of the village.
The further they went, and the more porches with children picking and throwing grass at each other while laughing they passed, the more... picturesque, it all looked.
Like a drawing he'd find in an old, discarded storybook at the bottom of a dumpster an orphaned little fox would find and read through day and night over and over, wishing he could just go there.
Nine shook his head.
With living in the story book came suspension of disbelief, followed by an ominous, uncanny feeling. It all looked way too happy and clean, but he saved any further judgement for later.
"Here's Oakley's, the carpenters, where he can fix or create anything made out of wood! Though he's been kind of sick lately and the golden apple I gave him doesn't seem to be helping much."
Coming back to the present, Nine noted the second mention of the so-called 'golden apples' after they passed by a large dark brown house with a busy porch.
It was lined with chairs and other pieces of common wooden furniture, with its doors and window frames carved into charming patterns.
He particularly lingered on a cute wooden duck with wheels for feet and a string tied around its neck sitting on one of the tables. Not that he wanted it, but the fact it was most likely carved by hand, so he simply admired the craftsmanship. That, and it was the closest thing in his line of sight anyway.
They passed by a fruit stall next, and the smell of fresh fruit convinced him he felt just a little hungry. Though he learned to be careful with the food items from other universes at this point, after a few unfortunate events.
No matter, his pockets were empty both of any money and any other item he figured could have the same value as an apple to people in here.
"C'mon take one, we can't have our guest going hungry after all!"
Sonic seemed to read his mind though, or it was simply reactive generosity that the fox had no intention of declining. It was just an apple after all. Most likely. Hopefully.
Perfomatively wiping it into his shirt, Nine enjoyed the fruit to its full capacity as he followed the hedgehog around with no end goal in mind.
While in any other universe he'd find backseat shopping the most mind-numbing activity imaginable, he didn't have it in him to be frustrated in the slightest here for some reason.
Sonic dragged him back to the present yet again by pointing at another larger than the rest house.
"And this is the shop of our seamstress. She can tailor you the most beautiful, or if function is more of your thing, durable attire from almost any piece of fabric in no time! Though you can never expect where a conversation with her leads haha."
"Did she tailor your clothes too?" The fox asked mostly because the more he looked at the hedgehog, the more out of place he felt among the average villager here. Everyone was mostly wearing dark brown, beige, or white, simple clothing with aprons and hats, while Sonic looked like he should sit in a castle or a chapel of some sort.
"Not really, no, mine and Night's clothes were given to us by our mother."
"Tch, you look almost like a lost prince." Nine remarked with a smirk while noted yet another unusual mention of Sonic's seemingly biological family. Though the remark was meant as a sort of a pseudo compliment he wasn't sure it sounded like it.
"You think so, haha!"
Sonic ran with it though and didn't seem bothered by his attitude in the slightest. That was always just a matter of time anyway, but Nine decided to turn his attention towards what appeared to be a small bookstall that they stopped in front of now.
Small as in, one shelf of books sorted by... nothing as far as he could pick out, with a tiny mouse girl behind the counter.
Upon hearing Sonic's order she carefully handed him the book from the bottom shelf, instructing him to be careful with it, to which Sonic gave a smug nod yet held the book like it was made of porcelain until he turned back to the fox.
"Alright I think this is actually all I wanted, we can finally return to the tree and I can introduce you to Night too."
Sonic said with a smile and the book safely tucked under his arm.
Fine, so safe to assume that Tails exists in this universe. It's honestly jarring that he hasn't seen the other part of the seemingly inseparable duo no matter the universe yet. If anything he in vain expected the bright yellow fox to jump them a few streets back.
Perhaps he was sick and that's why Sonic went shopping for him?
They were about to continue their way and Nine was looking for a place to throw the leftover of his apple when a group of kids that paid him no mind almost ran him over, giggling. He wanted to curse them out and noted the two red foxes among the four of them, before his attention was dragged just a bit higher.
"Dream! You have not forgotten about the garden, have you?"
A female voice suddenly yelled out, but Nine ignored the mystery woman with all of his attention on the absolute behemoth of a tree sitting atop the hill in front of him.
Literally, how did he not notice that sooner was beyond him, but questioning his peripheral vision aside, he decided to nonchalantly turn his head back to face Sonic and the woman.
Her notably black hair was tied in a high ponytail and she held a set of baskets on her hip. Sonic stood just a ways away from her, looking between the items in his hands, the woman, and Nine, with his startled eyes lingering on the fox.
"Um, this is kind of important, if you could take this up and to Night?"
Sonic sheepishly extended the items forward, and normally Nine would've protested at the sudden turn of events, but decided to wordlessly take the two things from the hedgehog's hands instead.
"Ah, are you sure he doesn't want to go with us?" The woman inquired with an almost sickly sweet demeanor that Nine was immediately not fond of.
He eyed her, but tried to make his distrust not all that noticeable when he declined
"No thank you, I don't really do gardening."
"You sure darling? we could use an extra pair of hands."
"Miss Katheryne come on, no need to drag an unsuspecting passerby into pulling weeds eh. I'm well equipped for that job alone."
Sonic dragged her attention from the fox as he tried to pry one of the two baskets from her grip and Nine let out an internal sigh of relief.
She let the hedgehog take it while the other container fell over to her side and she let out a nervous giggle "Alright alright, well, enjoy your stay little one, you're of course welcome to stop by at any time."
Afterward she wordlessly turned around, with Sonic waving him a temporary goodbye.
Nine kept his eyes on the duo before they disappeared over a corner and were out of sight for good. He decided to not bother dissecting the out of pocket interaction as he made his way up the hill. The grass was quite slippery still, which made it difficult to secure his footing and not fall over every other step.
Quiet noises of both distress and laughter immediately sent him on alert however, and he was willing to sacrifice a bit by speeding up his ascend. Each longer step he took with little help from his mechanical tails saved a few centimeters of the incline and he wasn't all that out of breath by the time he met horizontal ground again.
The picture-perfect facade of this universe fell just as hard as the little fox that was shoved to the ground with a yelp by a young bear, who then mercilessly smoothed the fox's face into the ground, effectively muffling any noise he made afterward.
Nine stood frozen for just a second before not thinking twice and giving into the sudden spark of rage in his chest. Wrapping the string holding the bag together around his hand, he steadily made his way towards the little group.
These were surely the same four kids he saw run up the hill just a while ago, if those two cackling red foxes were anything to go by.
One of them grabbed onto Tails' bangs and forcibly lifted his head back off the ground and snorted, most likely finding the kit's face welled up with tears amusing.
Nine spared only a second for eye contact and using the fact neither of the kids noticed him so far for building some momentum into a swing.
The bear's shoulder was harshly met with a bag of apples — that surely felt more like rocks — as he was knocked off the kit and toppled over the red fox.
His pained grunt was mixed with a surprised gasp from the rest of the group left standing, and that's when Nine remembered he had much more effective tools of offense than one bag of fruit.
His mechanical tails sprawled around him, their tips pointed threateningly in front of each of the kid's faces and they all flinched back.
Nine couldn't help the smirk that made its way onto his face.
Good.
One amongst them, a human boy with dark black hair tried to play tough by yelling out and trying to get into his face. Nine felt in no way intimidated by him however, even if he was taller, as the kid was scrawny and had no real weapons that could hold against his. Nine bared his teeth and posed himself just a bit above the ground, which appropriately made the human, alongside everyone else, reconsider and back away just a bit more.
"Tch, you think we're scared of you?!"
Nine narrowed his stare towards the red fox holding his shoulder. A face he recognized and one that he already made turn tail and run the other way when he was much younger and weaker.
Nine made a bluff strike that aimed at the fox's chest. The runt appropriately jumped back with any confidence he had dissipating and unease taking over his posture.
"Yes."
"You're way over you head, freak."
He heard the human boy lift a rock and throw it his way. It would've been a successful hit to his head had he not effortlessly blocked it with one of his tails. For a second before that he considered catching it in his hand, but decided to rather keep to a reasonable limit of his abilities to avoid getting too drunk on his power high.
"Pot calling the cattle black."
Nine simply stated with a grin as he picked up the rock nonchalantly.
The human gulped as Nine made him his clear target, by all means wanting to return the rock full force back to sender, except at the last second he shot it towards the bear that was already on his way down the hill.
With a yelp, he didn't manage to dodge it and the rock hit his ankle full force.
A fearful face betrayed any bravado the bear might've posed in his statue and Nine's grin only solidified when his ear flicked back.
Apparently, to drive the point further in, and fairly demonstrate the fact he wasn't stupid, he made another bluff strike behind him, spooking the yet uninjured red fox who thought it was a good idea to sneak in a failed surprise attack.
A loose brush with a metal point to his nose seemed to be what finally made the kids decide he wasn't worth it and they promptly ran off the hill while cursing under their breath.
Which left just him, and his lookalike alone under the tree's shade.
The sudden shot of adrenaline slowly dissipated, and he fully reveled in the small catharsis of knowing he was still more than intimidating enough to deal with a pathetic group of bullies like that.
Nine let out a sharp sigh and snapped his mechanical tails back in place, then finally turned towards the person he went up here for in the first place.
Or where he though he would be, but instead found just flattened grass.
The next best place to look was the tree branches above, and sure enough he saw a pair of scared blue eyes looking tearfully back at him.
Nine dropped the bag of apples to the ground unceremoniously and tried handing over the book, basically beckoning the other to come back down.
With all the sudden movement though, Tails all but flinched and retreated further into the tree's crown.
Nine knew that even when the immediate danger was taken care of, his first and then overall impression wasn't exactly friendly, but that was by design.
He sighed.
"I'm not gonna hold my hand out forever. Sonic- Dream sent me to give this to you."
A a bead of silence was followed by a while of rustling leaves and finally a thud sounding from the other side of the tree.
Trained pointy ears peaked from behind the tree trunk and Nine's hand officially gave out.
At long last the other fox showed himself fully and Nine could properly analyze him.
This Tails wore the exact same attire – albeit now dirty from mud and grass – as Sonic. Except the color scheme was purple and brown, with a roughed-up golden cape draped around his shoulders and the simplistic crown smooshing the three strands of fur on his forehead sported a hollow out of a crescent moon.
He went to take the book, but Nine's hand sprung back a little too fast and Tails hesitated.
With a deadpan expression Nine didn't react too much on it and waited until the other finally let his hand fall empty and free.
He figured that he could at least offer the basics of sympathies, although not make it seem like he was high and ready to patch up the kit's, hopefully, only superficial injuries.
"Nothing broken?"
Tails shook his head.
"Good."
Nine then took a few steps back and slumped against the tree, finding a comfortable place between the roots.
At a loss on how to carry this interaction further, Nine crossed his hands over his chest and looked to the village bellow. While at it, he realized he most likely marked himself a future target, if the human kid's familiar features had anything to say but he digressed.
Whatever whiny tantrums they'll throw is at most a future him's problem.
The face of the red fox flashed fore him and Nine to turn back towards the other sitting under the tree.
"How often do you have to deal with those."
Albeit his question might fall on mute mouth since so far this Tails hasn't spoken a word, though Nine hoped it was just the result of stress as he didn't feel like navigating a nonverbal conversation.
Tails merely grabbed the golden cape around himself like a protective blanket while, thankfully, trying to find his voice.
"I-its, um, it's a rare occurrence really I j-just..." He shook his head and slumped back against the bark, seemingly trying to sink into the ground bellow. "Thank you, anyway."
Tails stared at his book that he finally opened in his lap, but it was obvious he wasn't reading, mind stuck on and busy processing other things.
"...It's not often someone bothers with that."
The insecurity in that barely audible whisper apparent, Nine grit his teeth. He had a faint inkling he knew exactly what was going on here.
"Have you tried fighting back?"
Tails fiddled with the corners of a few pages with his eyes downcast before answering "Not really. I'm sure if I did it they would just get meaner, anyway."
Fair point, which for a second made Nine reconsider his immediate and almost absolute suggestion. Fighting back without any means to secure victory and make it stick would cause more harm than good.
Looking back down and around, the view from up here was pretty enchanting to say the least, and the air seemed slightly lighter too.
His attention was soon back to the tree however, and the shimmering specks of fruit hanging from it. It was hard to immediately tell with the sun hitting some of them directly, but they were two different colors.
Nine marked them as the golden apples Sonic kept going on about.
Eventually, his eyes ended up back down, looking at the little fox huddled on the ground. Upon more careful inspection, this Tails also looked really young, maybe around six or five years old, and the notion of that made him frown when counting in his banged-up state.
Ignoring the current bruises and messy fur, there was an obvious scar on the bridge of his snout, what was definitely dried blood under his nose, multiple patches of ripped fur from his otherwise bushy namesakes, and quite heavy eyebags under his eyes.
Nine also noted the kit contradicted himself right in the second sentence he said, but after noticing all that, there was no way Nine's buying the previous scene being a rare occurrence.
Tails is universally bullied most commonly for his namesakes — and that's a fact as he came to find out — but that usually ceases after his pretty much fated meeting with Sonic. Which, doesn't seem to be the case here for whatever reason.
Nine eventually tired of standing in the middle of the hill and sticking out like a sore thumb, so he made his way towards the apple tree and sat one clump of roots over, next to the kit as nonchalantly as possible. Although he made a makeshift chair of his mechanical tails as he didn't really feel like sitting on damp and uneven grass.
Giving it a few seconds to get comfortable, Nine then peered over the wood separating them. The uncharacteristic deviation from the almost universal relationship between the fox and the hedgehog kept nagging his mind.
"Does Dream know about this?"
The tense silence from the other was more than enough of an answer.
"Why don't you tell him, I'm sure he'd be able to do something about it."
The guardian's downcast expression turned sour, with a few creases appearing on the book's pages.
"I don't think so. Everyone loves him, but only because it literally makes them feel good when he's around. And that he has trouble saying no to people when they ask something of him, so they find him useful."
Finally giving up, Tails closed the book and set it aside, then hugged his legs close to his chest and rested his head on his knees.
"I'm sure if he went against them because of me, they would not take kindly to it."
Nine soaked up the words and was actually taken aback by the bluntness, but it seemed that so was Tails himself.
"I'm sorry this is, um. You're not from here, are you? I'd rather not make this one of your problems, I don't think you have to see too deep into it."
Nine realized his expression has gone too soft at that, and took his time to distance himself from the other.
Yeah, yea Tails was correct in fact. There was no reason to care about something that will ultimately be inconsequential to him. A few minutes in, it was obvious this universe was far from ideal place for him to stay, as one, he definitely doesn't feel like raising two orphaned kids in a village so obviously biased, so whatever squabble or interpersonal relationship wasn't his business. And two, there was little to no technology present besides handcarved wooden ducks, which would sooner or later drive him insane.
He let complete apathy wash over him and grabbed the MTC in his hand.
But while he could just get up and leave at any moment...
Looking at the other fox from the corner of his eye, he couldn't help but feel just the tiniest bit of sympathy hold him down.
He knows more than anyone how much it would mean if someone stepped in just once before he had to do it himself. And if the technological state of this village was anything to go by, that would prove to be just a bit more trouble for the Tails in here.
"The name's Nine by the way."
The fox's ear flicked towards him, followed by an unsure expression.
"Nightmare."
That sure is... a peculiar name.
"Big brother calls me Night though, which sounds very similar to your name actually." Tails gave a weak smile at that and finally turned his head to face Nine.
"Hmm, yeah it kinda does." There wasn't much that came to mind in terms of an answer to that though, and he let the conversation die right after.
Wait. Oh was this like, a sun and moon type deal. Dream and Nightmare, purple and yellow, golden and black and all that.
Nine playfully rolled his eyes at not getting the very obvious theme sooner.
Though, Idly sitting here made him realize just how exhausted he was from his constant hopping back and forth between all manner of worlds, so he figured there was nothing wrong with taking a little break from all that. Maybe he'll stay overnight and a bit of tomorrow after all.
Or maybe he'll just take a nap right here and now and set out again afterward.
He crossed both his legs and hands while keeping his ears trained for the smallest movement going around.
The purpose of it was defensive, just in case anyone else gets any funny ideas while he appears low on guard, but it leaned in the side effect of making him soak in a stray bird song, undertoned by the rustle of hundreds of leaves under a gentle, albeit slightly chilly breeze that was nicely canceled out by the warm shade the tree provided.
Even if he could never truly afford to relax, this was probably the closest to something like that he'd ever get. That is until he finds a proper home. Hopefully.
"Where are you from though, I never seen anything similar to those metal tails you have."
That threw a wrench in his plans. Although it was rather foolish of him to assume Tails would just, be quiet the whole time, and not wonder about the random stranger that just wandered into his favorite hiding place for all he knows.
"Where I'm from is not important, I'm basically a homeless wanderer at this point." Nine settled on forcing out. And his place of origin really meant nothing to him. If anything he was glad most of his memories of New Yoke were faded and unclear as were that of Shatterverse. He didn't belong to either of those, and so there was no use in remembering them.
"You look really familiar."
"No duh, I have your exact face- don't worry about that too much though." Nine quickly backpedaled, he didn't feel like explaining the concept of the multiverse right now, as he warily stole a glance at the other fox.
"Well, maybe a little less babyish but still."
"No not like that I mean- yea nevermind."
Tails went silent again, seemingly regretting his choice to speak up in the first place.
A small pang of guilt hit Nine when he saw the other shrink into himself again, and he sighed.
"Ok, well then what do you mean?"
It took a second. But the guardian took time to regain the bit of his confidence to speak back up.
"...Those, metal tails of yours, when you were scaring off the other kids a while ago, they made your silhouette look like someone I frequently see in my dreams."
That... was sure something Nine wasn't expecting to hear, but he'd be lying if he said some curiosity wasn't piqued. This universe sure had its way of doing that.
"As in, a prophetic way or..?"
"In a nightmare way, actually." The other stated matter-of-factly, but when Nine creased his brow, he immediately went on defensive
"Don't take it as me being rude or superstitious! I'm really not! It's just, uh, an observation." He then chuckled weakly, most likely hoping to decrease the tension, but Nine was neutral with that notion honestly, not even knowing whether he should think anything of it at all.
He never attributed any deep meanings to dreams, as they were just recreations of his lived experience, which, were far from pleasant. Whatever Nightmare here is going through is the same most likely.
But it made him think, that maybe little him would be proud to have have a silhouette someone would see in their recurring nightmares, a bit.
He placed one of his mechanical tails in his hand and for the first time after a long time, carefully examined them again. Their dull casing was scarred by dents and scratches from their years of active use, with the gear holding this particular segment firmly kept in its place with the neon underglow still active.
For a second he was back in his workshop as a much younger self, grinning like a maniac after he connected the last of the needed pieces together and finally tried out the finished tails (after many failed prototypes) with an immeasurable amount of pride in his chest.
He smiled, reminiscing, until the guardian's small voice shook him from his stupor.
"Anyway, you said Dream send you here?"
He let the tail fall from his hand.
"Pretty much. He wanted to come along but some lady stopped him and dragged him off to clean weeds or something. I don't remember."
"And she just let you go?"
"Begrudgingly, but yea. Why?"
Tails went quiet again, picking at the tips of his namesakes with pursed lips.
"The villagers...they don't really like me."
The fox started slowly with his ears pinned back.
"But they don't want Dream to know that. So some of them will distract him and keep him occupied, while others will- well, I don't know how much you saw but, they're usually a bit more vicious than that."
Tails shook his head and finally uncurled from his position, picking up the book again.
"I was just wondering for how long he'd be away again. If Katheryne took him then it's probably until sunset..."
The way the little guardian spoke made it all the more clear this was not just a repetitive torment from the side of the stupid kids, but a calculated move from the adults as well.
Sudden anger began to bubble in Nine, but he wasn't sure who it was directed at. He'd much rather dismiss it as Tails reading too much into it, but it's him that lives here, not Nine.
Something about that woman's insistence he'd come along before Sonic interjected now justified his negative hunch about her.
The anger must've taken to the surface and Nine lost control of his facial features, as whatever was his face showing alerted the fox next to him.
"But you won't tell him, Right? I- I already said I can't drag him down with me, you can't."
Nine looked at him for a second, for some reason stumped for an answer. The simple decision would be to just say fine, and leave it at that, turn away, and forget about this world just like the others. But that self-evident and most rational decision didn't seem all that appealing based on the very little window he had just seen into this universe.
He'd be a liar if he kept telling himself he didn't care for the kit. Even if it was more of a project-y sort of rage towards the people here he doesn't even know, than sympathy for his situation (for some reason).
Nine internally groaned and forced himself to seal a promise he wasn't 100% sold on keeping.
"I won't say a word."
Tails well, it was hardly a smile he gave once his shoulders finally dropped with the release of tension, and he sunk back to his spot.
The words fizzled out once more.
Sun continued its path through the blue sky unbothered by any event beneath it and ever so slowly dimmed as silent minutes ticked by. Eventually, the leaves were accompanied by the flicker of book pages as Tails finally started reading.
Nine began to thread the line between sleep and consciousness when a sudden yawn ripped through him.
The kit next to him audibly flinched and Nine toppled back into being mostly aware of his surroundings. His nose twitched in annoyance.
"I um, I forgot you were here." Tails laughed nervously. Nine attempted to ignore him however and tried to take the only long term functioning remedy for that yawn.
Tails didn't let him have it as he suddenly hopped up and snatched the bag of apples Nine dropped off not that far away, making it Nine's turn to flinch.
"We, I mean, me and my brother don't really have to eat, but it's nice to just munch on something sometimes. Don't know how it's with you but I assure you apples from here taste amazing!"
Nine took the offered apple from the kit's hands but then simply dropped it into his lap.
"Yea I already had one today, thanks either way."
"We'll then you can keep it for your travels!"
All he gave was a small nod, as uninterested as he could be.
"I'm sorry I keep talking, but, one last question."
Nine fought with himself to not audibly groan.
"Um, just how long will you stay here?"
Instead, he huffed, fully abandoning the idea of the nap.
"Probably the night and I'll set out in the morning."
But he suddenly stopped himself when he realized his tone had just a bit too much of an edge to it, not to mention he hadn't used it consciously. Just sitting here, he felt more frustrated than back in the village with Sonic dragging him around like a dog on an invisible leash.
He side-eyed the kit next to him, but he felt insane for the dots it made him connect, so he brushed it off.
He was really tired is all. And someone constantly had to interrupt his attempts at getting a proper rest.
Tails simply hummed in acknowledgment and returned back into his reading.
Unfortunately, Nine was completely offset now and couldn't put his mind to rest no matter how hard he tried.
Letting out a sigh through his nose he looked up and leaned his head just a bit more roughly, yet intentionally, into the bark of the tree.
That sigh must've been just a decibel too loud when Tails's ears lowered and he began apologizing
"What are these apples about."
Though Nine couldn't care less about listening to pointless "sorries" while transfixed by the peculiar fruit hanging above him.
Tails perked up ever so slightly instead. "Well, without going too deep into the magical-mechanical aspect of them they're like, little fruits containing concentrated either positive or negative emotion, which is marked by their opposing colors. Though a better contrast would've been black and white, but can you imagine white apples?"
The kit was pointing towards the fruit hanging above them as he spoke with that was definitely an attempt to end a part of his spiel humorously, although Nine wouldn't say succeed.
"Their shared existence on one tree holds the balance in the emotions of everyone in this world, as far as I know."
Nine sure wasn't expecting a whole ass sudden info dump, but despite it, he sure had questions. He went to open his mouth, only for Tails to silence and answer his question immediately.
"You're not allowed to take or eat them though, since they're way too powerful and overwhelming for one person to hold and can be only lent for a while with our permission, since I and Dream are the tree's guardians and all that..."
With what great confidence Tails began to speak, slowly fizzled.
Nine let the remark of neither of them exactly doing their jobs die on his tongue, and instead, he decided to indulge the kit next to him, he was the one who started with the questions anyway.
"Can you eat them?"
"Well... we've never really tried. Besides, just holding the apple gives more or less the desired effect anyway. That leads to no one really caring for the negative side of the tree."
Tails trailed off again, deciding that the grass beneath him was super interesting and he needed to rip a few blades of it to closely examine them.
"And I was... born from it. Which is why you're so irritated right now."
Nine raised his eyebrow.
"So you knew...?"
"I can sort of weakly sense the emotions people around me are feeling. So yes. Doesn't help that being next to me only intensifies the negative ones though."
Tails was fully curled on himself at this point, hiding in the golden cape that would actually fit Sonic's vibe way more than Tails' but asking about that would either have the kit shrink even more or let him loose on another info dump.
"You're full of them though, even without my influence."
Nine simply chuckled in agreement at that.
"So with that logic, Dream has the exact opposite effect?"
Tails silently nodded.
"Fascinating."
Even so, Nine didn't mind getting to know more of this apple stuff. It's both an outlandish yet genuinely interesting concept if he says so himself.
Feeling a little less red string on a corkboard, Nine found himself curious still, mulling over random questions while Tails went on and on explaining them.
Their conversation leading to Nine explaining random robotics trivia that Tails followed up with his own limited knowledge and questions went back and forth. It let time flow on quite easy again, until they were interrupted by the sound of someone familiar huffing his way up the hill. With that, Nine was made aware of just how much time has passed when he looked at the dark orange to pinkish sky draped in a low sunset.
Soon enough, a dirt-covered Sonic holding a square bag to his shoulder, with his sleeves rolled up and gloves sticking out of his pant's pockets, greeted them energetically.
"Haha, glad to see you two getting along!"
The foxes waved back to him, and the hedgehog bent over leaning on his knees while struggling to catch his breath.
"Sorry for taking so long, Katheryne can really be a handful sometimes."
Regaining a bit of his strength, he took the two extra steps and stopped in front of Tails. He than brought the bag off his shoulder and immediately dug through it.
Sure enough, it was made clear the bag was a first aid kit — or at least what would be considered that for the times this universe lives in — when Sonic laid out a few bandages and tiny bottles with clear liquids. He covered the opening of one with a piece of clean white cloth while Tails put his hands out in protest.
"Sonic I'm fine don't worry about-"
"Shush no excuses, now show me your nose."
With great reluctance, Tails let the hedgehog hold his muzzle and wipe off the dried blood, before he moved on to the mud still staining the front plain of his face.
"It smells horrible."
Tails scrunched up his nose and physically tried to shake the aggressive scent off him while Sonic carefully rolled up one of his sleeves, revealing a bloodstained bandage that must've been a few days old already.
"I know bud, I know."
Nine watched them silently, unable to fight the sympathy that the fox kept garnering from him at this point.
Huh, if the emotion aura stuff is true it would only make sense the two being near each other would cancel out and make the area neutral.
Either way, the fact Sonic came prepared meant he was aware enough to know Tails keeps getting hurt when he's away, which made the relationship just a bit more confusing again.
"You didn't happen to ruffle each other up while I was gone have you?"
And of course, Nine would be the prime suspect for Tails gathering the new injuries that weren't there in the morning. He was bout to say what happened exactly, when he was hit with Tails' pleading eyes and the promise to keep his mouth shut.
"N-no worries big bro, I just fell off the tree because my cape got stuck in the branches, it's fine." Luckily, Tails seemed to have a mildly convincing excuse at the ready, and Sonic turned his full attention to wrapping the now-cleaned gash in his brother's arm.
"If anything he's super nice, did you know that there can exist machinery so advanced it can be programmed to flawlessly mimic biological beings?"
Sonic froze for a second, unsure of how to reply, while he rolled up the dirty bandage.
"That, huh. That sounds kinda scary actually. Is that a common thing for where you're from?" The guardian asked, turning his head towards Nine.
"Kind of not really? It's mostly just an outstanding feat of engineering that was achieved only a couple of times, so no need to worry."
He couldn't tell either of them who the replicas were based on now, could he?
The hedgehog merely nodded while Tails went on, either to distract himself from the sting in his arm or just because.
"Nine knows so much about machines, and he told me so many cool stories he got from traveling all over the place!"
"Huh, sure would love to go on an adventure like that someday." Sonic mused after carefully placing all of the supplies back into the medical bag.
"Well why don't you?"
Nine asked without hesitation, because if there was one thing he learned at this point, it was that Sonic cannot stay in one place for long. Even if you embed his legs into concrete, he'd either go insane or find a way out.
"We can't go anywhere, since we have to stay near the eyeshot of the tree to not let anyone get any funny ideas." Sonic sighed.
And that seemed to be true here, except the responsibility keeping Sonic tied down was something he couldn't run away from.
"Do you guys like, live here? Under the tree I mean."
"Hmm pretty much. Well in my very humble opinion it's much better than in a closed off hut built somewhere in a ditch."
Sonic threw the bag up and it's straps caught on a nearby branch. He tugged on it to make sure it will not slide down before climbing the tree himslef and stretching his hand out for Tails to grab on.
"It could do with something to keep the rain out though."
Tails commented and followed his brother up into the crown again, where he basically disappeared between the leaves.
"Sleeping on a tree can be hardly comfortable."
"Hah, says the one who sits on cold metal."
Sonic shot back with a finger gun pointed at Nine.
"Thermodynamics. The metal doesn't stay cold for long."
Sonic's attitude dropped a bit at the most likely unknown word to him but he brushed it off, finding the most comfortable branch to sit on, and leaned back on it. Maybe leaned back too much, as he toppled over and hung upside down from the branch like a bat.
"Thermowhatever's when wood is all you're used to sleeping on since birth it is more comfortable than a rigged bed."
"Agree to disagree."
"Mimimi."
Sonic mouthed back, but Nine didn't mind it much, banter with Sonic was fun.
"So you said you'd stay the night?"
Tails' disembodied voice was accompanied by an unnatural rustle of leaves.
"Most likely yea."
Suddenly the world went dark for Nine as suffocating weight was thrown over him. His temporary panic was intercepted by Tails' giggles and Sonic's tone that couldn't contain its humor properly either
"It gets cold at night, and I doubt anyone here would be willing to let a stranger inside their house at this hour. Not to be mean or anything, just safety for safety's sake y'know."
The sudden darkness turned out to be a yellow and navy blanket with sun and moon patterns. Nine assumed it to most likely be tailor made for them by the mentioned seamstress, but that was besides the point. The blanket was indeed a good insulator so it served its purpose.
"Thanks." Nine mumbled and somehow put the blanket over himself in a more comfortable manner. "Why do you go to sleep so early anyway?"
"And who told you we're going to sleep eh." Sonic swung himself back up into a proper sitting position, crossed his legs and rested his chin on his hand. "Again don't take it personally, but we can't leave the tree unsupervised, like, at all. Though I wouldn't mind if we could go on an adventure like you're on." Sonic sounded like someone elbowed him at the end of his sentence.
"So you're just gonna stay up the whole night instead."
"There's two of us for a reason duh."
He's gonna be kept under a night watch, how lovely.
Unfortunately, Nine knew it wouldn't be possible to enter deep sleep when someone's watching him, or is aware of his presence at all. He would of course give it a few minutes maybe an hour or two if he bears it, because he needs some rest at the end of the day, but he'll hardly make it till morning.
Feeling his head lulling to the side he shook himself awake. Opening his eyes, Nine turned towards his MTC with full intent of activating a portal and leaving without a trace, but the image of Tails with terrified eyes welled up in tears surfaced in his mind uninvited.
Nine exhaled with more force than needed.
He looked up, the hedgehog's leg dangled off a branch carelessly meaning that if either of the guardians fell asleep, it was Tails.
With great effort, Nine got up to his feet and flew the extra distance needed to be at eye level with the hedgehog.
He flicked Sonic's nose with full intent of breaking the promise he settled just a few hours back.
"Ow what the-"
Nine quickly covered the hedgehog's mouth and cursed himself for not thinking just one step ahead. Tails has to be unaware until Nine is already on his way, the consequences weren't his to deal with.
Sonic didn't take kindly to the gesture, unsurprisingly, and while mumbling curses, he grabbed the fox's hand in an attempt to shove it away.
Nine didn't budge though "Be quiet and meet me at the bottom of the hill. I just have something to tell you and I'll be out of your guys' fur, I promise."
Nine put as much urgency into his whisper as he could while keeping a finger to his mouth.
Sonic narrowed his eyes and looked over his shoulder at his sleeping brother, before sighing.
"You better not be playing me for a fool buddy."
But Nine was already halfway down the incline, not letting his legs suffer the way they did when going up, he elected to just glide down.
By all accounts the guardian finally caught up to him and exclaimed "Woa you can fly?!" after Nine landed.
The fox's eyes were fully concentrated on his MTC as he fiddled with the coordinates.
"Yes and by all accounts, Night should too."
"Wait what."
"He has two tails doesn't he?"
"Yes but I'm not sure those are exactly build for flying..."
Sonic scratched his head, while Nine was one confirm click from opening a portal.
"Now, I've been asked specifically to not tell you anything, but listen up."
He wasn't sure just how strong Sonic in this world was but if he was worth a damn, he'll do something to save his little brother.
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turtledotjpeg · 3 months
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@hxhbigbang24 time!!
I drew for this fic which made me SAD and also made my HEART WARM!! I will not say too much to avoid spoiling future chapters, but I illustrated a few moments from this scene near the end of the story that I loved!
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sentientstump · 1 year
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what's there in the distance
133% team canada back in action? you bet
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deoidesign · 2 months
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Hi, how did you learn to draw Steve's physique?
Ohh what a complicated thing to answer...
When it comes to how I learned to draw anything, it's hard to say anything too specific since it's always a culmination of many years of assorted study and practice... but I can try to do my best to explain some of the biggest things that helped me learn, some tips I keep in mind, and maybe at least some places to start/delve further.
(just a little disclaimer it's not like my drawings here are going to be 100% medically accurate.. they're just to illustrate concepts!)
The main thing about learning various physiques is understanding anatomy. Which feels obvious, but I don't mean proportions; these are important, but perhaps more important is understanding the skeleton and how it moves and learning where muscles connect to bones and where fat grows on the body. When you understand how these function on a more mechanical level, depicting form and movement in a way that feels natural comes in tow.
For instance, understanding things like the pronation and supination of the radius and ulna, as well as the fact that muscles can ONLY contract or relax, will help you understand a bit better which muscles will be flexed and which will not while someone moves. It's inherent to the positioning based on the structural makeup of the body... It's not like you NEED to memorize all the muscles and bones, of course, but understanding and gaining at least a passive familiarity with the concepts really helps.
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In tandem with this concept is the way parts of the body flow into eachother. Muscles ALWAYS come in groups because they can only contract. Whatever muscle is there to lift something, there is a muscle on the other side to pull that bone back down. What this results in is a series of straight edges next to curves, which gives us a lot of really lovely "s curves" and dents and folds and so on and so forth just naturally occurring.
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I would suggest at least learning the "bony landmarks", which are bones (usually) visible on the surface of the body. things like the iliac crest, the great trochanter, the 7th vertabrae, the acromion process... These can be used to help you understand the parts of the body as angles and relationships, rather than trying to remember lengths and sizes, which vary immensely... (since you asked about steve, he can be our model... also study these on your own don't just take my word for it haha, these are the ones I personally keep in mind)
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I've done the same thing with body hair... learning where it grows and in which directions... It helps me make up variations without needing reference, because I have a set of rules I can follow.
The biggest thing that helped me understand all this on a much deeper level was my ecorche course. I sculpted this guy. We started by sculpting the entire skeleton to understand the bones, and then we added muscles on top. Not every single muscle, of course, but the "artistic muscles" AKA the ones which directly affect the surface of the body. Doing this let us see where muscles connect, because we would make a shape, put it on the bone where it actually goes, and then you get to see how other muscles overlap that.
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This helped me, perhaps, more than anything else. But I also didn't just start with this course, I had been drawing for years before I even took it. I had been in school for years before I took it. Not that I think it wouldn't be helpful to someone just starting out, but I do think that the more you know going in, the better an in-depth course like this will help you and stick with you. Classes are also expensive, though so I'm not really like... recommending you pay potentially thousands of dollars to take one... But it did help me a lot, personally.
I also, of course, have done many figure, gesture, and master studies...
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These just help you quickly gain a stronger understanding of generalized anatomy, and gives you real life examples of and practice with of how people move and balance.
What all this does when combined, is gives me a very solid ability to depict movement and form in a way that feels relatively natural from my subconscious without the need for reference.
The rest of how I've learned to draw his physique is honestly mostly just stylization. I understand the body, and this is how I am depicting it for his level of musculature.
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And as I move into depicting him in other ways, either moving in comics or in animation, realistically rendered, or extra stylized, these concepts inform every step of that process for me! When he keeps the same/similar relationships between parts, he gets to still look like himself.
It ALSO really helps when putting clothes on, because the way cloth falls and bunches and lifts is all directly related to the form it is on... So the more you understand that form, the more you can depict clothing and movement in a way that feels natural.
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This is all, of course, true when I draw anyone, you asked about Steve so I'm trying to mostly show with him! But because I'm just drawing from raw information of general anatomy rather than trying to study one body type at a time, it allows a lot more "give," I think!
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Like, here's most of the cast from TTA so far... actually, they're not as varied as I thought they were nevermind LMAO ignore this part
But, it also makes monster and alien design much easier! It's a lot easier to come up with non-human anatomy when I understand human anatomy, because I can manipulate the knowledge I have...
There is infinite more to study in the world of anatomy... The complexity of the human body goes extremely deep. For our purposes as artists, we need only depict a fraction of it, but more information rarely hurts the process.
I'm sure there's something in here that's wrong on a technical level, I'm mostly going off of memory. But that's kind of my point - I understand enough generally and conceptually that when I am missing something and need to find reference for it, I understand what I'm looking at. It's much easier than trying to learn AND draw at the same time.
I hope even one thing in here helped you! Sorry it's so long.
#asks#somewhereinasgard#anatomy#art tips#anatomy tips#don't like... take my word as gospel OF COURSE#I am sure there's like one thing or more in here that's like. genuinely wrong#but whatever#anyways. I love steve LMFAO#I was thinking about zagan a lot too in this one tbh LMAOOOO cause he's got a similar body type#and when I just did that action animation of him#and people were like how the fuck did you do this so fast#I sort of have been realizing all this knowledge I have about anatomy#and how much easier it makes my life pretty much every single step of the way.#those action poses did not need reference.#I almost never need reference for drawing people#unless its like... realism. but I mean in my comics or animations#when the arm is coming towards the camera I know what's going on in the arm and what the form of it ACTUALLY is so I can properly draw it#there's no guesswork. I know what I'm doing.#which makes it so that when I'm depicting someone like flipping all around or whatever#I just know what the body looks like. how it moves. how it balances. etc.#I would say it comes naturally to me but it doesnt.#it is subconscious at this point#but it is very extremely studied#not a damn bit of this came out of nowhere LOL#ok anyways this was a really fun ask#I got extremely carried away I am so sorry#this is like my biggest artistic passion I LOVE anatomy SO much#I love drawing muscles#I love the technical feelings that happens in my brain when I draw an arm moving and figure out how the muscles are engaged
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moonkhao · 1 month
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hi.
#i know most of you didn’t even realize i was gone#but man…#my mental health was like in a state of 📉📉📉 in the past 30 days like we love being mentally ill and fucking insane <3#it was mostly bc i panicked and started obsessing over possible water damage in my flat kind of out of nowhere#like it started when my landlord came to check my bathroom bc my downstairs neighbours had water stains on their ceiling back in july#which had been caused by their shower curtain apparently but i was already spiraling when my landlord told me so i was sure it was my fault#i was assuming it was bc of me bc i had sometimes been spilling some of my bathwater and i was like WHAT IF IT HAS GONE THROUGH THE FLOOR?#and it didn't help that it has been hot af and very humid in my apartment LIKE WELL OVER 25 DEGREES AND 60% HUMIDITY#anyways i couldn’t shake this not matter what i tried and my fucking insane brain made me think i was going to get arrested for like#flooding the whole building or for causing some sort of mold infestation#i had SO MANY panic attacks; i wasn't able to sleep; i wasn't able to eat; i was on edge and panicky basically 24/7 so fun fun fun :D#and i kept waking up in the middle of the night and HAD to go check my walls or the space below my kitchen#it was compulsory like i couldn't not get up and go check and tbh i would've thrown out all of my furniture if i could've to check for mold#(and shhhh i know how fucking insane this sounds but having a mentally ill brain that's anxious all the time does suck ass sometimes 🥲)#(the worst thing about it tho was that i was SO AWARE of how insane about this i was being and yet i couldn't stop losing my mind over it)#(also i was so ready to move tf outta here bc i couldn't handle being triggered 24/7 which is why my mom let me stay with her last week )#i was so out of it that i couldn't even let myself do the things i usually enjoy... like at all#like watching my shows or spending any ungodly amount of time on tumblr... or replying to messages i got from people who i love#ig this goes to show HOW bad this actually was for me mentally bc usually tumblr and my shows are like my safe place#anyways we finally had a leak detection dude come over today and we had him check the water levels in my walls#and he said everything is fine and he specifically told me i should stop worrying about any water damage BC THERE IS NO WATER DAMAGE#he also said that the weather has just been insanely humid this year so it's not surprising that the humidity levels are higher than usual#i’m still a bit scared about some possible mold but ig this is good enough for now#i am aware how ridiculous this must sound for anyone who's reading this now but couldn't let it go not even with meds so let me live pls :(#TLDR I WAS GOING THROUGH IT BUT I AM BACK I THINK AND I AM MOST LIKELY GOING TO START BOTHERING YOU WITH MY GIFS AGAIN <3#AND I JUST REALIZED I HAVEN'T EVEN SEEN ANY OF THE HEART KILLERS STUFF YET ASIDE FROM ONE OR TWO PICS LIKE :(#OH AND I NEED TO START WATCHING SUMMER NIGHT ;_;#sabrina talks#@AIRENYAH GIRL I AM SO SORRY I WILL PROBABLY REPLY TO YOUR MESSAGES LATER TODAY OR TOMORROW MORNING ;_;<3
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sameboot · 6 months
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Everyone knows the best flowers are the ones that grow around the ruins
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floorpancakes · 6 months
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ok but im rly into the idea of till having a new era that brings the light back to his eyes and drives him forward if he gets to escape the arena. idk where he'd go from there but i want to see ivans sacrifice both haunt him and drive him to actually live his damn life after being the captured bird refusing freedom cause of mizi. once he knows she's alive with the resistance he might be able to actually experience other things and widen his world and if that happens and he puts his personal sense of rebellion towards the human cause OR settles into finding some other way to feel fulfilment that isn't a single person that could be deeply fascinating to me i think
#alien stage#ramble#idk#till alien stage#as an xxxholic fan i want to see caged birds fly and all the fear and loss and grit and progress that comes with it#till era would be so fucking fun#especially when characters r built arnd one person or one goal or something you want to see them find new things to suffer or thrive abt (?)#random inconsequential thought imagine till hooking up with hyunas besties and they become a resistance throuple#idk i just want till to experience the wider world as the one that was the most restrained by his heart AND literally#cause even compared to the other anakt kids he suffered so much in those damn buildings and labs#i wanna see him freed and what that means for ivans legacy as the person who was unseen but someone who both contributed to and desperately#tried to stop his pain and confinement no matter what#honestly the thing i wanna see most rn off the top of my head is#till coming to terms with what he knows and sees about ivan now#no matter how he feels about it i think ivan wont be forgotten that easily#i want to know whats going thru tills head rn immediately in this moment#cause this snapped him in some way and he is acutely aware of things he didnt even notice before#while handling the mizi desth thing#that he assumed was happening#if he is assumedly saved i want to see the explosion that is knowung mizi is alive#knowing ivan is dead and how ivan felt#and knowing he has a way out of the cage#because its a triple whammy#i want to see his brain exploding in real time thinking abt all these things#and what sort of person the revelations will make him become#also i want to see mizi and till have like an actual conversation cause itd be a wildcard especially right now
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sciderman · 6 months
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I swear I have read your big post regarding Peter Parker's neurodivergence and why it is best to avoid labelling him, but he definitely has a weird brain
Can't find it and feel kinda sad about it cuz I deeply related to it
i know exactly which post you're talking about and i can't find it either! i've raked through my archive, and it's just - nowhere to be seen. i think tumblr eated it (it happens.)
really, tumblr's search functionality is so so useless, i don't know what to tell you. there are plenty of keywords i can search to find it that post, but the search functionality actually just does not work!
undiagnosed audhd-addled peter parker, my darling, my light, my life, my everything.
i think peter parker's such an interesting creature to write, because a lot of people will point to a certain behaviour about him and say "this is an autistic thing, right?" but a lot of those behaviours are actually, in my head, tied to certain traumas in peter's life too.
people say "oh, the food thing, peter's a picky eater because he's autistic" and yes, absolutely. but also it's tied to his trauma with his parents.
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peter gets overstimulated, and yes, it's an autism thing, but also he was bitten by a radioactive spider and his senses are dialled to 11.
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it's a similar case i've found for myself, too – where a lot of friends i have kind of diagnose me because i have autistic traits, but actually - i'm hesitant to claim the label or pursue diagnosis because, actually, i know where these certain behaviours come from, and they come from certain traumas. there are events i can pinpoint in my life and say "yep. that's where this behaviour comes from."
so - i think there's a lot of overlap between trauma and autistic traits. the brain is very complex! i think the reason for that overlap is maybe as simple as the fact that people with autism and people with trauma are both doing the same thing - developing behaviours to protect themselves or soothe themselves. so - i think it's nice to be able to see a character like peter parker, who may or may not be autistic, but recognise behaviours in him and see yourself in him.
people who go undiagnosed for whatever reason - people who are really good at masking - so good, in fact, that they have no idea they might be on the spectrum - everyone and anyone at all can look at peter parker and recognise themselves. because i think we discredit the thought that every single brain does the same thing! develops certain behaviours in order to survive. every brain has that same software - we've just all been faced with different hardships that we need to overcome, and that's were all the differences come in.
autism is a spectrum, i guess - everyone falls into it to some degree. and i think events in your life probably push you along on it. but i don't know, i didn't study brain science. probably what i'm saying is very stupid and uninformed. of course there's brain chemistry involved. but i know people in my life living with autism and certain events in their life have exacerbated certain behaviours or made coping with it a lot more difficult. so maybe trauma is a catalyst.
#a lot of my traits have been exacerbated lately and i remember it was much easier for me before#and some of my friends have said “oh it's because you've been masking too long and now you're facing autistic burnout.”#and that made sense to me i think.#but then i found out about the stress thing. me overproducing stress hormone. and that's a very physical thing.#and that explains why i've been overstimulated more than usual lately. and why everything feels like too much.#and i wonder how many of these traits of mine are going to subside once i have lamar removed#and it makes me wonder a lot of things. and it's so weird how much your brain is tied to your biology.#i wonder how much i'll change. i wonder how i'll feel. i wonder if i'll still feel like me. i wonder how much me is me right now.#and how much of me is being altered by weird freaky hormones. who am i?? who will i be??#i'm almost looking at this as like. a superhero origin story of some sort. like this is my spider-bite moment. maybe.#will i be different? will i cope with things differently?? now that my body isn't fighting something anymore??#maybe i'll be normal. i don't know. i don't know.#i don't know what it'll mean for me.#but all of these things mean i relate to peter parker in a certain kind of way#i don't think you have to be diagnosed with autism to recognise and empathise with those traits i think#i think everyone can see themselves in peter. and i think that's the benefit of having characters that aren't diagnosed.#because there's so much overlap in the human experience. and certain feelings aren't exclusive to just one group of people.#peter has such a rich identity actually. it's an autistic thing. it's a queer thing. it's a jewish thing. it's a trauma thing.#there are so many overlapping parts of peter's identity that inform who he is and how he behaves and it's never just one thing.#it's a product of all of his things.#just like me! just like everyone.#so me? i guess i can be a million things. you can explain what i am in a million different ways.#a hundred different psychologists can all come up with different ways to explain why i be the way i be.#i don't think it's something that can be simplified.#sorry wow. i'm really going off here in the tags.#i hope people don't think i'm stupid. i don't know brain science. i'm just philosophising as usual.#sci speaks
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gunstellations · 7 months
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to save you
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