#i just have severe mental health troubles and am Doing My Best

[ibelieveinahappilyeverafter]

The Mafia Princess Part VIII: The Conversation

Mafia Princess Masterpost

AO3 Link

Winning Result/Previous Chapter: Ask if Desi can drop her off at a McDonald’s so she can get food.

Reminder: The poll for the next chapter will be under the read more at the bottom of the post!

—

“I want to go to McDonalds.” Elsa hadn’t even realized she had voiced her semi-hysterical thought until Desi was slowly raising his eyebrows, and, well. At least he had proven by this point that he wasn’t going to shoot her for saying something dumb. 

Considering that, Elsa decided to do what she had done since the moment she knew she was on her own in a world that wasn’t kind. She doubled down. 

“There’s one between this place and the school, if I’m remembering all the streets right, so since you were offering anyways, you can just… drop me off there, instead.” Elsa made sure to cross her arms and take a strong stance, not sure if that made her seem more serious or less. 

She half-expected some dramatic stare-off or for Desi to say something that sounded like some kind of riddle. Instead, all she got was a simple, “Alright.” He then headed back towards the dramatic, fancy mafia car like it was just that simple. 

Unable to help herself, and because the terrifying man with the intimidating voice who was named ‘Scotty’ of all things didn’t seem like he was really listening, Elsa quickly caught up to him to ask, “That’s it? No berating me for my choices, or telling me that as a foster kid I obviously don’t have the money to spend on things like fast food- Not even a joke about how I’m using the mafia as a taxi service?”

“Well, to be fair to your last point, I often use them as a taxi service myself.” Okay, but he was the boss of them. Elsa wasn’t sure that really counted. “As for your first point, why would I? There’s nothing for me to gain by commenting on your behavior except for you to be even more difficult.” 

“Well… Yeah.” Desi slid into the car as Scotty opened the door for him, because yeah, of course. Elsa then, of course, scurried inside the car when Scotty kept holding the door open and giving her a look to hurry her ass up. Probably. She would assume that was what the look meant. “Okay, but what about the second point?” 

“How you spend what funds belong to you is your choice, even in difficult times. Although I suppose, at most, I could always caution you to have a stash tucked away in case of emergencies?” 

“That? That sounded really mafia-like,” Elsa pointed out, half-sure she heard the driver up front laugh. His name had been… Ad-something? “Just to point that out. And make sure you know.” 

Desi, at least, gave one of those little huffs of laughter that assured Elsa she wasn’t about to get in trouble or anything. Plus, it was fun to obviously be on the boss’ good side and have his lackeys be annoyed by her humor and unable to do anything except roll their eyes. (Was Elsa a little upset still over how ‘Scotty’ sounded like he wanted to shoot her when she first picked up Desi’s phone? Hm… Probably not.) 

“Aidano, the closest McDonalds, if you could.” Aidano! That had been the driver’s name! Since Elsa had taken the fancy seat that faced away from the driver, she had to do some twisting and turning to get a glimpse of his face. From what she could see, he looked amused, but didn’t even question it. “Seatbelt.” 

“Huh?” Turning back around, Elsa blinked at seeing Desi was staring at her- Oh. Right. Seatbelt. “Good job. That sounded less like a mafia thing to say.” 

“Oh, well as long as I’m doing a good job to hide it,” Desi drawled in the most dry tone she had ever heard an adult speak in. It was great. Obviously he wasn’t around kids a lot, which meant there was a good chance she could get him to just treat her like a normal human being once she got him past the whole ‘I’m a twelve-year-old girl and obviously need help’ thing he seemed to have going on. 

Taking a moment to finally put her sketchbook back into her bag, Elsa paused as she looked down at the business card she noticed she was still holding. “So… I just come back here, make sure the jacket fits, and that’s… it? I just leave after that?” 

“That’s it,” Desi said, Elsa looking from the card to him, a little surprised that she wasn't surprised with how genuine he sounded. She guessed he had been pretty upfront about everything ever since she had met him, even confirming that he was in the mafia and everything. 

“Huh.” Tucking the card away into her sketchbook, Elsa zipped up her bag, set it between her legs, and then looked back up. If this was her last time seeing an actual mafia boss — and one that wouldn’t even shoot her — then she might as well get some questions answered. “I don’t have a phone and getting to the library sucks some days, so what’s the actual difference between the mob and the mafia?” 

She heard what was definitely a laugh from Aidano and what might have been a startled grunt from Scotty, but Desi didn’t even look caught off-guard. She’d have to work on it. “I mentioned earlier that it was different races, primarily. Since I doubt you’re here for a history lesson, the quickest summary I’ll give you is that the Irish and Irish immigrants founded and control the mob while the mafia is run by those of Italian descent.” 

“Huh.” Not something she probably would have learned in school, but kind of cool to know. “So do you guys really pay off the police? Like in Gotham?” At her wonderful, thoughtful question, Scotty moved his hand so he was rubbing at his eyes and covering his face like he had a headache. Elsa was a little proud of that fact. 

Desi, proving that he was an adult that was actually kind of cool, asked, “The comics, the cartoon, or the show?” She didn’t even care if it was a front and he didn’t know any of it, it still made her opinion of him rise just a little. 

“My first thought was like the cartoon, but if it is true, I kind of pictured it’d be something more like the actual show.” She needed to try and watch more of it. Her last foster home had flipped when they had seen her watching it since she was ‘too young.’ “So, like, do you pay them off? Threaten them? Secretly have your own men infiltrated within their ranks?” 

“Sadly, I’ll have to disappoint and say none of those,” Desi chuckled — a real laugh! — and shook his head. “While we do have a relationship with the police, it can best be summed up as… tense.” 

“Ah. So you’re too good to get caught and when you do you just pay them off,” Elsa nodded, deciding that she probably didn’t want to know any more details like what they actually did as a mafia and all that. Maybe if she met them again. “Okay, so, do you have to be Italian to be part of the mafia? Or just white?”

“Well, you used to have to be full Italian on both sides of your parents.” Desi answered her like he was taking her seriously and it was honestly kind of nice. “Back around 2000, though, it changed so you only needed to be half as long as that half was on your father’s side and not your mother’s.” 

“Sounds patriarchal.” Elsa didn’t get to continue on what she had no doubt would have been a great conversation on feminism and its place in the mafia, but instead she was interrupted by Aidano and the car coming to a stop. 

“Should I remain parked, sir, or would you rather we go through the drive-through?” Hm. Elsa wasn’t sure if that was a sense of humor or not. 

Desi, instead of answering, looked at her. Elsa had a feeling she was about to be given another choice that felt like it wasn’t all that much of a choice. “Would you rather us drop you off like you wanted earlier? Or if you’d like, we can grab you something and then drop you off at your home or school.” 

Well. Nice to see she had been right.

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

AITA for not wanting to be in my cousin's life? This will be long, I'm sorry

I (f19, but this started at 15) have a rough relationship with my family, I don't have a better word to describe them as besides just not the best towards me. But the real issue now is that I don't want to be involved in my cousin's (f8, but this started at 5) life. This sounds very silly, I know, but let me explain. My cousin is physical in how she expresses herself towards me (she likes to throw things at me and hit me and bite me, and I can't do anything about it because I get in trouble if I do). I have a severe nut allergy and there have been multiple times she's been caught trying to smear peanut butter on me or in my mouth while I slept. She likes to tell me she wishes I'd just eat the peanut butter so she'd never have to see me again. She just hates me, honestly (I'm not sure why, I've never hated the kid, I'm not mean to her, none of us have been able to figure out why and when asked she just says she hates me because she hates me)

The house we lived in contained just me, her, my mother, and my uncle. She is not abused by either adult, before anyone asks, she's actually quite spoiled due to the fact that they can't discipline her in any way without risking her being taken away. And I don't hate her at all, I'm bitter about how she treats me, but I know she's only a little kid. However, I just don't like being treated that way. I recently moved out and I told my mother that I didn't want to be part of my cousin's life until she stopped treating me that way. (Info: My mother thinks she treats me this way because she's a kid so she can't vent her anger out on the adults and I was the only other kid she could vent it out on.) My mother thinks I'm being cruel and punishing my cousin, she says I'll regret this choice and that my cousin will be all I have one day so I shouldn't do this. I've tried to explain that I'm not doing it to punish my cousin, it's just not good for my mental health and I can't be around this behaviour anymore. Other family members and family friends have agreed with my mother, but my friends think my decision is right. Since moving out and not going through that every day, I've started to feel better about myself, my depression isn't as bad and I don't have as much anxiety when I go to sleep. That is kinda swaying my decision to me thinking I'm right for choosing this for myself, but I still worry my mother might be right and I might be ruining my cousin's mental health by leaving.

I want to add that I know I'm way older than her, and some of you might be wondering why I don't stand up to her, but I could never do anything to stop her. I spent many years in foster care due to issues with my family (my mother, specifically), and I know that even the littlest thing where I live can get your kid taken from you. If I even raised my voice at her to tell her to stop and she told someone, she could be taken away from my family and I can't do that to her, I know the horrors of foster care. I also have spent most of my life being abused and don't know how to protect myself or defend myself in situations like these. Please keep this in mind when/if you call me pathetic or stupid, trust me I know I am.

Please, I know a lot of you may think this is silly or dumb or bait, but I need to know aita for not wanting to be in my cousin's life?

Reasons I think I might be NTA: I think my decision is good for both of us and I believe I should put mental health first in this case as it can be dangerous in the future if I don't. I don't want to stay longer and end up hating her, she's just a kid and doesn't deserve to be hated.

Reasons I think I might be TA: This could be seen as punishing her, and she might hate me more for it. She's already started being meaner to other kids now that she can't vent it out on me and I'm an adult so I can take it better than one of her classmates could. She might think her behaviour drove me away and blame herself.

What are these acronyms?

[inevitably-johnlocked]

hey, steph! how are you, like, genuinely? not the small talk. i wanna listen

Hey Lovely 💜🖤

I want to apologize for putting this off for so long... which should be a clue as to how I am actually doing.

Honestly? Not good, but I'm trying my best. It's been... a time. Will put under a cut for those who don't want to read about the tagged items.

TL;DR – my real life is a bit chaotic, and I hide a lot from y'all because I REALLY try not to be negative here since my blog is where I come to be happy AND because I am a very private person, but I try my best to just keep going day to day as the chaos settles down slowly.

I've got some good things coming though, so I hope a week's rest next week when I'm off (and will probably take a break from here too) will reset my brain.

Work has been insane, and is most of the cause of my mental distress for the past few months. From Easter until Canada Day Weekend at my job is lovingly referred to as "Silly Season" simply because of how on-the-fly, balls-to-the-wall our workload is until summertime downtime officially begins for us. Without disclosing too much, it's basically non-stop, long hours for me until one of the 3 break weeks we get during the this long stretch happens where, incidentally because of the nature of my job and the team I work on, it actually gets BUSIER for us.

It actually ended earlier than we expected this year (yesterday) and we'll be "quieter" until the end of September now. See an opportunity, I actually took next week off between the two long weekends because my mental health has taken a severe hit and I'm having trouble just... enjoying things? I'm haven't gamed or drew in a few weeks, and blogging and writing feels like a chore. I literally just come home, file this blog, reply to one or two asks, and then go to bed, and do it all over again the next day. Day in and day out, for 3 months. On weekends I have to force myself out of my apartment because I KNOW I will sink lower if I don't leave.

On top of that, my brain has convinced me that literally everyone hates me: friends, coworkers, family, you guys, my damned plants. I just feel very alone these days and... I'll be real here, I've almost abandoned this blog a few times in the past few months. I feel like I make fic lists that no one reblogs or likes and tell me they're all shit. I post my art and I barely break 20 notes. I write something and I get maybe 2 likes. I can't really answer any thoughtful asks because my mental state's been in the shitter for months. I desperately want to reply to the few sexuality asks I have and I physically can't. Being on my computer – after working ON a computer for my day job for 12 hour days everyday – feels like too much, so I try to limit my time on the blog now too.

I just try to keep carrying on, encouraged by the once-in-a-blue-moon testimonial ask I get thanking me for still being here. I thank YOU guys for reminding me that people still like coming here.

Stressed about money and food and rent just like everyone else, and just getting frustrated at other things.

And finally, my uncle (my dad's brother and my godfather) hasn't been doing well health-wise, and he's being moved to assisted living next week. His health has been declining since Easter, so it's been a bit of worrying time for relatives.

Having my therapist helps a lot. She talks me through a lot of my complicated feelings, my sense of self and ways to cope with my anxiety and stress. I'm talking to her again next week, so no worries, gang. As I said, I just keep on keeping on.

Some positivity though:

I booked next week off to try to just... recenter myself. To forget about everything and TRY to get back to doing the things I love. I will probably take a break from this blog as well during that time to limit my social-media time. It's not ideal but I need a break from my computer, I think.

I go to the gym a lot more these days, which has helped with the seething annoyance I constantly have at work. Usually feel better after it.

And because of the gym and getting out more, I've been slowly feeling better physically, better than I have since before 2019. The break from work is for the mental health, LOL.

I'm getting my hair recoloured next week. Can't afford it, really, but I just REALLY need to feel better about myself again, and I always feel so different when I colour my hair. I was doing so good for awhile. I want that again.

Anyway, I'm sorry to bombard y'all with my complicated mess of a brain. I really do appreciate you asking, so THANK YOU. I rarely get asked in real life if I am okay because I keep very private due to past people betraying my trust. And I don't like seeing people unhappy, so I feel if I tell people about my problems, then I feel I am a burden, so I just... continue existing.

Thank you for letting me be a burden just this once.

[floret-affini-research]

RESEARCH LOG 004

RESEARCHER M. Florez

Opening file...

I have now concluded my second day in this vessel. I have gathered much more information to where I am unsure what to do with. It appears that the Affini have a form of immortality called "blooming" where they are able to shed their current form and remove signs of aging and damage. It appears that as long as their "core" remains intact, they are functionally immortal. The affini known as Verdianthos Arum (who from now on shall be known as Ms. Verdi in my reports) seemed quite joyous to share this information with me. I wonder if perhaps she is a researcher like me, exploring the many wonders of the cosmos. I wonder if she'll allow me to accompany her on an expedi- That is besides the point. She was very helpful in giving me the information I asked for.

I have also learned very startling information that explains how these beings were able to defeat the Terrans so easily. It appears that the Affini are able to produce several toxins that can cause many effects in the human body, including increased sense of touch, unconsciousness, paralysis, hypnotic trance, and memory loss. These appear to be distributed both as a form of injection directly from the Affini's many vines or as a aerosol to cover a larger area. They also have strange eyes in thay they appear to give a hypnotic pulse when stared it. They seem to just pull you in without you quite realizing what has happened. While they are terrifyingly large creatures composed of living flora, even I must admit that she- they are fascinating to study.

As for the "floret", it appears to genuinely believe that it is being cared for the the best it can be. It has told me that it feels no hardship and that "everything will be alright with Mistress!" I still am uneasy of these Affini being seen as "owners" of terrans who are inundated with the toxins they produce. However, I cannot deny that the terran does appear to be joyous even without the toxins coursing in its' system. It informed me that it does not remember much about its' life before meeting Ms. Verdi Verdianthos Arum, only that it was "a biiiit of a trouble maker" I shall have to ask the affini more about the domestication progress when the day comes again. I can, at least, conclude so far that the terrans are indeed treated well and taken care of. I have tried the food they prepare it is a remarkable increase in quality from the rations I have been limiting myself to. However, I wil still limit myself primarily to food I can be certain has not been tampered with.

I will conclude today with a log of my current health to ensure I am able to provide at my upmost capacity. I will ensure to provide this for each following report.

Physical health: Optimal, no new concerns or conditions

Mental health: Below average, high levels of stress

Emotional health: Neutral, high levels of stress

Addendum: I know not why I included parts that appear to show a degree of respect for the Affini or why I have started using an abbreviated form of her name. It appears for some reason that I am unable to remove these parts from my report no matter how I try. I am growing worried that perhaps I too am beginning to turn or that perhaps I am being exposed with an aerosol of the toxins. I shall have to make sure I keep my guard up. May the starts protect me from her.

[slushie-and-skittles]

Ninjago AU ❤️‍🔥

Get ready y'all we are talking about Kai now

⚠️ Trigger warning: Discussion of Bipolar Disorder ⚠️

If you are new to this au, here is the synopsis:

After Aspheera's reign of terror, the ninja are training to become stronger than they ever were. Everything seems fine until past unresolved arguments start rising to the surface. These arguments, while light at first, became more aggressive as time passed. These fights cause several injuries and broken hearts, and the ninjas become more far apart than ever before. Can they find each other again and forgive each other for past mistakes? Or will they stay a broken team, bringing Ninjago down with them?

Ok, let's talk about Kai's role in all of this

After the fight, Kai decides to flee Ninjago City and do missions on his own, as Garmadon did in the comic series. The rest of the ninjas and Wu need to find where Kai is, and most of them are trying to find him.

Earlier in a post, I mentioned that I headcannoned Kai to have Bipolar Disorder, a mental disorder characterized by significant shifts in mood that have an enormous negative impact on the person. I want to incorporate this in Kai's story to the best of my ability. Please keep in mind that I don't have Bipolar disorder, and my representation of Bipolar disorder in this series is purely based on memoirs and research.

During the fight, Jay attacked Cole, resulting in Cole being hospitalized (more info on this in a future post), Which resulted in Kai injuring Jay with his elemental powers. Soon after, Jay is sent to a mental hospital to recover. This event sends Kai into a depressive episode, which makes everyday tasks a struggle to complete. Kai had trouble eating, sleeping, and feeling anything for a week. The other ninjas failed to help Kai since they were busy with all the bills and complicated plans burdened on them due to this fight, and they assumed that Kai was having a normal reaction to the situation. "Our support and the doctor's medication have helped Kai in the past," Says a hopeful Nya to a worried Wu. "Why wouldn't it work now?"

After Kai's depressive episode, a set of jumbled thoughts charge a manic episode. This is when Kai gains the courage and anger to leave the rest of the ninjas and travel on his own. "If I am a burden, I'll just leave" was his thought process. So, Kai decides to escape the monastery and dodge all attempts the ninjas make to try and bring him back. Once Kai leaves, he feels overjoyed at all the new experiences he has traveling, and once his mania ends, he decides not to go back due to the guilt of leaving his friends. He now helps out small villages with safety issues, struggles with his mental health, and debates whether he should return to Ninjago City or not.

Kai will eventually return, but I need to plan it out more.

Other plot ideas: During Kai's travels, Kai sends a birthday card to Lloyd since he feels bad for not visiting them. (He asked a fellow traveler to bring the letter to Ninjago City's post office.) This sends the ninjas into a chaotic haze, trying desperately to trace the letter back to Kai. I don't know where else this plot line could go; it could confirm that Kai is alive, or it could be the thing that locates Kai. One more note: I want a scene where Misako tries to hide the letter from Lloyd since she thinks breaking connections to their past life would be a good idea. Lloyd finds the letter and is frustrated with their mom.

Another idea is that Nya eventually decides to go after Kai since she is frustrated with herself and everyone around her. She eventually finds him and brings him back to Ninjago City.

The art shown above is one of the comic pages I am creating depicting Kai on one of his solo missions.

[amynchan]

American high school A/B students, come here. I need to gently hold your face, give you a cozy blanket, and get you a hot cocoa. Then, I need to sit you down and talk with you.

You guys are working so, so, so damn hard. And a lot of you guys have extra curriculars on top of that. And you guys are recovering from the whole thing that Covid put you through, which was a really hard time to be an A/B student because you had to self-motivate to keep the grade even while your mental health went down the shitter. A lot of you guys have been taught to put your nose to the grindstone and work, and you do it well. You guys are working hard, and I see that.

And I have to tell you that school is failing you in a very, very, very important way.

I'm a college instructor. I also used to be that A/B student who put absolutely everything into her grades and sacrificed sleep, a social life, and at times money to get that degree to say that I was ready for the adult world. But now, I get you guys after high school has run you through, and the most, most, most important skill you could cultivate is one that isn't treasured a lot in high school, and it's one that thoroughly knocked me on my tail end when I got into college myself.

College requires you to test things for yourself. It requires you to ask "why." It requires you to think outside the box at times.

It requires you to troubleshoot a problem when one comes to you.

I have a lot of students who are earnestly doing their best, but at the first hiccup, they will stop. They won't ask why. They won't troubleshoot. They won't try to figure out what's wrong and how to either fix it or move around it. School has taught them to be scared of trying new things out and afraid to get the wrong answer lest you get punished severely.

I had a student who didn't know what setting to use in google docs to make a hanging indent. They didn't look it up, and they didn't start pushing buttons. Because of that, they lost about a day's worth of work in indecision.

I have another student who is doing research. They were so confused as to what [#] meant, and they didn't consider that the number referred to the numbered sources at the bottom. Why? Because they'd been taught to be afraid to be wrong, and they wanted me to figure out this new, complex problem instead just in case they couldn't figure it out themselves.

I have students who run into technological errors, as are common nowadays, and at the first sign of trouble, they frantically look around for someone else to tell them what to do.

Guys. You have got to bring troubleshooting back. When there is a problem, please poke around. Press buttons. Try things. Chances are, you won't break a website by poking around, and you won't break anything physical unless you very viscerally smash it on the ground. Getting stuck and needing to figure your own way out is not a failing on your end; its the honing of a very, very, very necessary skill.

You are an A/B student for a reason. Chances are, you want to make a name for yourself or make your parents proud. You want to be An Adult one day, respected and secure and loved. And I am telling you that, as an adult, people will look to you for answers that you may not always have. Right now, here, wherever you are, you need to start learning to troubleshoot. Don't just blindly follow directions anymore.

Start learning how to troubleshoot. Start learning to figure it out. Give yourself permission to try solutions, be okay if they don't work, and try again.

Your future self will thank you so, so, so much.

[tea-with-evan-and-me]

re: evan dating news

whoa, okay, i don't know what prompted the flurry of messages today but there's just no way for me to address each one individually, so i'm going to attempt to generally answer some of the common questions people are asking. i'll pin this post for a little while in hopes it will reach all those inquiring.

background: on friday, i received an anonymous message containing an instagram story saved as a highlight titled ''best vday EVAN'' which featured a man filming his roommate getting ready for a date, he says, with a celebrity. the woman was trying on different outfits to decide what to wear. according to the anon who sent it, they (anon) were already aware of evan and this woman's involvement and felt comfortable sending me a message, because the woman's roommate essentially outed them on his public page, which has a few thousand followers.

in the following days, the roommate of the woman in question posted several instagram stories about evan's appearance in ariana grande's music video/bopping to the song. it's also been discovered that the woman in the instagram story has mutual friends/acquaintances with evan on instagram.

this is all of the information i have presently, the only thing i have omitted is anyone's social media handle. i chose to delete my initial response to the ask that contained the link to the instagram account of the roommate and the woman alleged to be dating evan currently. please understand that after considering it, while it is technically ''public'' i can't in good faith leave identifying information up knowing that while the vast majority of you are lovely, level-headed people, i am unable to control where the information shared here spreads to or who sees it. there are troubled people who frequent this blog with severe boundary and mental health issues, who have stalked me personally on my own personal social media accounts in attempts to dox and harm me. considering the people involved are not public figures or celebrities who have chosen to share this aspect with the masses, i do not want to put them in a position where ''fans'' may harass and bother them. BUT.. this is a gossip blog. tea is what we're here for, so what i will do is share information if the story develops further and i have reason to believe any leads received are credible. remember, this is all speculation and not presented as fact.

so, with that said - anon who asked: yes, you are certainly allowed to share but i won't be posting any identifying information that could bring harm to anyone. feel free to message me anonymously or on a burner account should you feel comfortable that way.

[satanicsanity]

Wow, there's been.. A lot going on huh?

Hello my loves! I just wanted to come back around for just a moment, chat a little bit about what's happening with the Welcome-home Fandom! (and partially about why I've been gone longer than originally planned)

I might not explain all of this the best, I apologize in advance for that

In all honesty... This is an incredibly unfortunate rough-patch. The p3dophiles, the r34 art not getting tagged correctly, and quite a bit more.

It makes me very upset that such a wonderful Fandom has people that were in it.. that seem to be really dragging things down for everyone else. It all makes me feel very drained, unsafe, uncomfortable, and not really inspired to make content anymore currently. Many of my fellow mutuals are also taking a break from welcomehome, because of these circumstances.

And I try to separate those people causing trouble from the Welcome-home Fandom in general, and syntheticcharmva had mentioned about on their Twitter, because of course one's wrong doing should not reflect the ENTIRE Fandom... At least in my opinion. However there has been a lot of continuous unfortunate events that have taken place, making this all very... Messy and feel very unsafe. (hope that makes some sense and comes across correctly)

I deal with mental health issues as I've mentioned previously, which is why I decided to take a break in the first place due to the severity... But the current issues the Fandom seems to be facing, are not making me feel excited at all to get back into working again. To put in simple terms, it's putting me down even further and It's putting others down as well.

Do I plan on returning and doing more wally audios, and more, at some point?? Yes absolutely! And I have a lot of content on my Welcome-home au that's in the workshop, and looking at all the lovely requests you guys make, makes me very happy!

But now with what's happening with the Fandom and the trouble makers, (setting my own original reason for taking a break aside) Makes me very nervous to return. And my break might string on longer than I thought because of this... since my original reason for taking a break from tumblr... Is now not my only reason. If... That makes any sense at all.

All this to say... I do miss you all dearly, but I'm going to stay very quiet for a while until two things happen,

1. The Fandom cleans out from all that's happened/happening

2. My mental health is in a good enough state for me to continue

Is the entire welcome Fandom bad? Hell no, that's not at all what I'm trying to say at all! A lot of people in the Fandom are just trying to have fun, and they're amazing people! But there are people making things very uncomfortable (especially for minors, such as myself) and very messy. I don't know this all is.. A bit hard to describe and talk about so I apologize if I explain things improperly, or in a confusing way.

All on all... Things aren't great, and I'm going to stay away from posting for a bit longer until things improve for myself and for the Welcome-home community. I still do consider myself part of the Fandom and will show all the love and support I can, I just won't be posting for a bit longer, as I've been doing.

I am so so greatful for your guys support, kindness, and kind words I very much am <3 and I will return... But with everything going on I need more time as I no longer feel very safe or comfortable currently.

I hope you are all well and staying on the brighter side of things 💕💕💕 I dearly hope that things get... Better. Not perfect of course, (because no Fandom is) but.. better! Again thank you for the support and all of the encouragement, kind words, you peeps make me smile a lot! So thank you 💕

I cannot wait to see you all again, hopefully soon... Hopefully <3 Much love my Darlings

[trulytiredhermit]

Imagine the reader who is absolutely good at making motivational speeches at any given opportunity using various random words.

They also give love advice too and the yanderes follow them.

"No matter what Link, even if life is truly unfair sometimes, how life just gives you trouble in every step, without life, you wouldn't have met them, you wouldn't have met the person you've been gushing about since forever, life is beautiful sometimes, it's just that you don't see its full beauty when all you're ever focusing on are the negative parts of it, i assure you that beneath that not so wonderful history you have with life, is a wonderful and beautiful one, just because you're going through a hard time doesn't mean that you won't ever be able to move past it, you're wonderful and caring and beautiful Link, they will like you back, i promise."

That's what the reader says.

Listen to me, listen to me. Reader be dense af rn if they’re giving the Yandere’s love advice.

AND I AM HERE FOR IT!

Ugh, if Reader said that to ANY of the yanderes (well not Wind mind you, he do be a child) but they’re sweeping Reader of their feet and proclaiming their marriage for the whole world to hear.

And you KNOW the Links try to drop subtle hints when they ask for live advice.

“What kind of gift would you like?”

“What’s your favorite (thing)?”

“Well, what are some things that you’d do on a first date?”

“How would you want someone to ask to court you?”

Besides that though, Reader giving the best motivational speeches

(haha jokes on you ANY speech reader gives is the best. Reader could say “Fuck ‘em up and don’t die.” And the Chain would be applauding, giving Reader the standing ovation they deserve!)

But anyways, Reader boosts the groups moral and mental health instantly.

Any Link could be severely injured, just hear a speech from Reader and all of a sudden they’re getting up like they’ve just downed 12 red potions.

Hyrule would especially love the motivational speeches Reader gives.

I mean the poor dude has a lot of self-doubt and self-worth issues.

But don’t worry my man, Reader’s got you covered you funky little magic dude you.

Warriors thinks you’d make an amazing general/high ranking officer in the army. You’d be able to rally support and energize/motivate the troops and soldiers.

Though he’d never let you fight, ever.

Time certainly appreciates your speeches when the boys are having a hard time while on the journey.

You’re just able to light up the room like no other.

The Chain also makes it a common thing now in your guys daily routine.

[soaringwide]

What I do not read on

Decided to update what I'm do not agree to read on, to use this as a reference post for future use. As always, I am free to refuse a reading if it's in too much of a grey area and I don't feel comfortable doing so. If you've paid you'll be refunded, if it was free, well, I just won't do it and you'll be blocked if you complain or harass me.

How to book a reading with me

Health issues:

I refuse to read on severe health issues, or death related topics. General inquiry about improving you health and lifestyle is okay as long as you don't rely solely on this reading. Mental health is only okay if you're looking for additional support in conjunction to being followed by a professional.

Financial or legal issues:

These things are too serious to attempt a tarot reading on them. Go to you financial or legal advisor instead. It includes stocks, investments, gambling, lawsuits or legal trouble, and so on.

Future spouse, soulmates, twinflames, starseed

While I'm open to read about your existing love life or potential future relationships, I do not vibe with the above-mentioned concepts that are extremely new-age connoted, and no, it's not because I read tarot that I agree with these things. That just does not align with either my conception of how the future flows, or my personal cosmology and spiritual beliefs.

Reading on behalf of someone else

What I mean by that would be, for example, to ask what your mom should do in XYZ situation, or what you exe's love life is going to be like in the future, anything where you're not the focus of the reading. When inquiring about someone's influence on your life, it always has to come back to you because you are the one requesting the reading.

Celebrities and fictional characters:

Celebrities are under enough scrutiny without having to worry about internet stalkers praying on their energies, and as for fictional characters, I just find the idea very disconnected from reality, sorry not sorry.

Stalking and harm:

This should go without saying but if I sense that you have the intention of stalking or causing harm to someone, I will refuse your reading.

God(s):

I am not a guru nor a priest, therefore, I will not speak in the name of any deity or particular spirit. While I'm open to relay spiritual or magical messages, I will not name drop unprompted or ask a deity what they think about you. It's different for an existing relationship but we are in a grey area here so best would be to talk together about your query before the reading.

This may change at any moment if I realize I've forgotten something important or if my views have evolved.

Go back to masterlist

[shirefantasies]

Hello! I’m new to Tumblr, your blog was one of the first I found and followed! I was wondering if you could match/ship/pair me with an LotR character! Specifically LotR if you end up getting around to me, please!

I’m 5’3” with dark hair, though I keep it shaven in a buzz cut style. I’m pansexual, so you can ship me with anyone. I’m also autistic and possibly ADHD and OCD. Still learning about myself and trying to get diagnoses and people that understand me.

Moving on! I’m rather goofy! I’ve got a silly, meme-like side to me that I have trouble restraining. I’ll constantly see references to memes/obscure things I like everywhere and always point them out. I also make random noises and jokes that only those close to me will understand or be able to interpret the meaning of. I’m a good listener, and always try to help solve problems, though I may not be too good at getting the end result where it needs to be. Hahaha! I like to cuddle people, though I’m a little picky with touch because of sensory issues.

As for the other side of me, I am very paranoid, and have anxiety, severe depression, and PTSD, so it’s hard for me to trust people. I’m introverted, too. I always have been but ever since the trauma that caused my mental health issues I’ve become extremely introverted, almost in a comical way. I have some self-hate based behaviors towards myself that I’m working on unlearning. I constantly need reminded to take care of myself, and will have unexpected breakdowns, depression lows, or flashbacks. There are things or actions that will upset/trigger me that may need to be avoided. It’s rough but I still try my best to please everyone.

I hope that’s enough, if it’s not you can always contact me directly for more info or with questions! Thanks for considering!

Well that’s such an honor! Glad to be an early addition to your tumblr family 🥰 heck yeah you can have a lord of the rings character, and I hope you like being a hobbit because because I ship you with…

Pippin!

Sometimes it feels like no one understands him. So when Pippin hears tales of some far-off hermit, he feels a strange kinship with them immediately knowing only that they are the subject of talk, too. Maybe they’ve disappointed people with ways they cannot help, too. Pippin, though, could never run away from people- he loves them too much, enough to try again and again until he gets it right. He doesn’t know why he is the way he is, after all. He just is. Isn't everybody?

He gets lost one day, lost further out in the edges of the hills then he's been yet. Not quite far enough to be frightened, but just enough to see the waning of the hobbit-holes and the thinning of the Shire's green hills. It isn't until the sun descends that he truly gets concerned, rushing to the nearest hole he finds and ringing the bell dangling by its big round door. You answer, looking quite puzzled and not entirely unafraid of the stranger before you. What do you say? "Er, can I help you?" "Well," he begins, "I'm lost, you see. Can I trouble you to stay the night before I return to the road?" Silence overtakes you, ponderance, glances this way and that, before you finally nod and bid him entry. "You've not come to report to the others, have you now?" "I beg your pardon?" "Back in town. All the rumors. Part of why I avoid it, not that it helps them," you shake your head. That is when Pippin realizes he's found his kindred hermit, and you are nothing like he imagined. Contrary to the stories, he thinks there's something about you that looks...friendly.

"You're the-!" Barely resisting the urge to exclaim 'hermit', Pippin glances around your mostly quite normal hobbit hole. "Erm, I always wondered why they told all those stories." "Because they're a fat lot of gossips, that's why," you shoot back, shuffling through your kitchen, "they aren't exactly the champions of anyone who's...different." "That I know," Pippin responds with a nod, voice going a bit quiet. His words have you turning around, peering at him like you've only just seen him. "I see. Well, want anything?" In the end, you share some of your dinner with this stranger, who tells you his name is Peregrin Took, more frequently called Pippin. Pippin doesn't mock the sounds you make, in fact you notice that he seems to find himself mimicking them. As you go through the evening's motions, he doesn't seem to mind that you have your way of doing things. When something you see reminds you of a song you made up, you can't help but sing it, and soon Pippin is joining along. You even make up a song together. When he leaves, you find yourself saying something very uncharacteristic: "If you ever want to come back, well, I'll be here." Something in his smile, the way he nods, has you feeling strangely hopeful.

Come back he does, and sing more songs to and with you in that beautiful voice he does. You're ready for him to recoil, to pack up and leave you behind like everyone else does when he catches a nightmare turning to a breakdown, but as he peers in the doorway he simply asks if he can touch you, hold your hand or even you. When he stays, helps you with breakfast and cheers at your smile, twirling you across the kitchen, well, you can't help feeling a rare peace at your little paradise getting a bit bigger.

Taglist: @lokilover476 @fuckyoumakeart @mossthebogwitch @ibabblealot @kilibaggins @joonies-word @stormchaser819 @pirate-lord-of-narnia @datglutengoblin | Reply/Ask/Message to join 🥰

[skellymom]

Hi, Skelly! Really random question here but I think your honestly the best person to ask on this topic. This is non-Star Wars related btw. Feel free to ignore.

I have these neighbours who arent the best of people. They got a dog 2 years ago I believe, a Belgian Shepherd. Unsurprisingly, she barks a lot.

We don't think the owners are abusing her or not feeding her or anything, just not taking her for a lot of walks. It's their first dog (the mum, dad and two sons, to be exact, none have ever had a dog before) and obviously shouldn't have gotten a Belgian Shepherd when they have a smallish backyard.

I was wondering if there was something I - or my family - could do? None of us blame the dog, just the inexperienced-ness of the family.

You don't have to reply to this, as I know its out of pocket and not what you expect. Was just curious.

Have a great day/night!

~Jamie.

P.S. My puppy had a scare last year when she was only 2 and a half months or so and we had to go to ER for her. Geez, that place is stressful so my thanks to you and your workers everywhere!

Buckle up and get comfortable, I have A LOT to say on this issue:

(TRIGGER WARNING-I WORK VETERINARY ER AND THERE WILL BE MENTIONS OF DEATH AND OTHER DARK ASPECTS OF WHAT VET STAFF SEE IN THE FIELD. Consider yourself warned. I am ranting as a PSA and FYI for those not familiar but REALLY need to know what we do! If you feel brave PLEASE give it the time to read. Thanks!!!)

OHHH, I LOVE SHEPPIES!!! They are SO smarticle, sweet, energetic...and extremely spirited. However, they DEFINITELY need exercise. More importantly, they need mental stimulation. A several mile walk is great for the body, but not something everyone can do daily. Plus, these guys are brilliant (only second to the esteemed Border Collie) and their mind is like a hamster on a wheel. So, training, commands, tricks, agility courses and anything that requires not just exercise, but mental stimulation is top priority. These guys were bred to run and think on their feet. THEY NEED A JOB! They AT LEAST (and this is foundational) NEED TO BE WALKED DAILY!!! Every dog needs to be walked daily as this also helps with bone density, muscle strength, balance, cardiovascular function, etc. Same with humans. If you don't exercise, you can become depressed, overweight, brittle bones, diabetic, constipated, and a host of other health issues later in life that cost money to regulate and fix.

Most owners buy a dog as a companion, and these guys can be amazing ones. However they aren't your lazy Golden Retrievers or Greyhounds (while sporting class they do a burst of energy and lay around a lot normally). Unfortunately, dogs not given mental stimulation will show the following behaviors: excessive barking, destructive chewing, inappropriate urination/defecation, escaping out of the yard and getting in trouble/injured, misbehavior to commands, possible self injury, and unfortunately even aggression towards people and other animal housemates. A LOT of working/sporting dogs wind up in shelters and euthanized due to these behaviors when all they needed was regular exercise, training, and mental stimulation. A LOT of regular non sporting dogs do too.

In order to keep their dog, they need to include them as a true member of the family. Plan family activities with the dog. Can they run errands with a family member who might just want to do a ride along and the dog comes with to sit in the car when the person goes in. They can also research places that allow shoppers to bring their dogs into the facility: Home Depot, Lowes, Michaels, some downtown shops in their area might allow it. Shop for dog snacks/food and take the dog with them to pick it up as many pet stores allow dogs in their store. Heck we have restaurants and coffee shops that cater to outdoor dining patrons who bring their dogs...and the dogs get spoiled too.

If their dog is too rambunctious, then they DEFINITELY NEED TO SIGN UP AND GO TO DOG TRAINING CLASSES. ALL THE CLASSES, and more than just puppy training. Really, this should be foundational too. Every dog needs training. Again, get the whole family involved, because the dog (like children and adults) need consistency and everyone needs to know what to do when walking, interacting, and commanding "Sheppie" to behave like a Good Canine Citizen. There is a a right way to train and a horrible way to reinforce negative behaviors in a canine. EVERYONE needs to put in the work. Everyone needs to feed the dog, fill it's water bowl, pick up the poop, and walk the dog. Everyone needs to play and pet the poochie. That's why you get a dog!

The family needs to do some honest soul searching to figure out if this dog and breed REALLY fits with their family dynamic. If not, they the dog should go back to the rescue or shelter (many shelters have a return clause in their paperwork that says they MUST return the dog to them. It's for safety reasons) or find a RESPONSIBLE new owner to adopt "Sheppie". There are rescues, shelters, and fosters online. Again, they took on the responsibility and they need to do their due diligence to find a good home for this living breathing animal.

Let me also debunk a horrible myth that still circulates: REHOMING YOUR ANIMAL IS NOT WRONG IF YOU CANNOT TAKE CARE OF OR PROVIDE FOR IT! Screaming it for the people in the back!!! I have been working in the vet field for over 8 years (general practice, shelter med, emergency, high volume TNR) and have seen some horrendous shit when people keep an animal that they no longer wish to interact with. It can be mild contempt for the perceived burden to downright neglect and abuse. Also, I have seen family members and household pets in danger or actually mauled from dogs that people refused to put more money/couldn't afford/didn't have time for training that kept/refused to rehome to a place with no children/no pets/etc. And, understandably, many of these people LOVED that dog and kept trying to fix the situation. But sometimes you cannot, and the aggression, destruction, ingestion of foreign objects (we have frequent visitors to my ER that have foreign body surgeries due to anxiety chewing/swallowing-some end as euthanasia's). I have had owner's come in with animals that needed to be euthanized for aggression due to high drive, with their housemate mauled, and the owner mauled and bleeding (trying to pull them apart)-all of them showing up together. We have had bored dogs jump the fence to find something interesting to do and get hung up on it, needing emergency surgery. We have had them run out into the street and hit by cars. These things happen to all dogs that require someone to tend to their needs EVERY DAY!

I had to rehome a Dutch Shepherd that we took on as a foster (from a not good situation-putting it mildly) when she tried to maul my elderly German Shepherds (and that was with daily walks, daily at home training, professional training, and veterinary medical evaluations), we found a rescue that deals with security/military breeds to take her to. Sometimes the animal you choose to have in your home may NOT FIT WITH YOUR FAMILY. It happens.

So, you asked what you can do? First, thank you for caring and wanting to do something. Second, you can print out information on local dog training places, agility, and specific breed information (Belgian Shepherds include: Malinois, Turveren, Laekenois, and Groenendael, so tailor it to what their dog is), and anything else you can think of to offer to the owner. Try to approach it as helping and not frustration. HOWEVER, I will warn you now that sometimes people are not open to outside help and will not take this positively. Even people seeking out medical veterinary help can get defensive when we try to help them. Unfortunately, nice people who take on a high drive/high energy breed for their first dog are unaware of the huge responsibility they have. And, not demonizing here, but they buy the dog with the ideal they have for themselves and forget this animal has needs and is languishing without proper care...even a mental/physical outlet. And from what I have seen, this is an epidemic. For those reading this: if you feel you have to "come at me" go volunteer at a shelter/rescue or go have a heart to heart discussion with ANY veterinary professional. If someone was entrusted as your guardian with the responsibility of your mental healthcare and didn't see to your mental health needs and you had no outlet, how would you feel?

Actually...that is happening now in epidemic proportions. It sucks, right???

I wish you luck @fionajames . It's NEVER bad to reach out and attempt to help. At least you tried and I LOVE YOU FOR IT!

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

WIBTA for inviting my cousin to an LGBT meet up?

Cw: mentions of suicide and transphobia

I (18M) am a trans man and my cousin N (21F) is a lesbian who is very masc presenting. We're the only queer cousins in the family (at least in our generation) so weve always been good friends and shes been one of the biggest supporters of my transition, defended me from bigoted family members and always corrected family when they used my deadname/old pronouns. I lowkey hoped she would come out as a trans man or nonbinary as well. We dress in the same style which makes it so when were hanging out together one of us is gonna get misgendered since people asume both of us are trans men or masc girls. When N is the one being misgendered she doesnt bother fighting it since its more trouble than its worth but looking back i think it really annoyed her.

Earlier this year N was severely struggling with her mental health. I apologize for the wording i may have since i dont know the proper terminology for this stuff or any specific disorder diagnosis she may have (other than autism). She was having some sort of manic or depressive episode. She was dead set on pushing people away and making them hate her so she could take her own life without regrets.

I visited N once to give her my support during a struggling time but i stupidly told her there was nothing she could say that would push me away. She told me not to test her but i kept pushing it and i admit what happened next was my fault. She told me in a very cold voice that she was a terf, though that she didnt want me dead but that "we" (im guessing she meant trans ppl) made it so much harder for her to exist(???????). I didnt let her keep talking just and left her room, said my goodbyes to her family and just cried while driving home.

Im still not sure if she meant it or if it was part of her mental episode and just a way for her to hurt me and push me away. On one hand ig it explains some of her behavior? N sometimes complained when she got asked for her pronouns or being misgendered like I mentioned before. On the other hand, I gen do not believe she has been a terf all along esp with how supportive shes been of me. If she was a terf youd think she would try to subtly talk me out of it, but that has never happened. My friends have nicknamed her schrodinger's terf lol

Anyway, i went no contact with N for a few months for my own wellbeing. During this time i heard that she tried to kill herself a few times, which got her into a mental hospital. She was given higher doses of meds and seems to be doing way better.

We had a family reunion this week and i decided to approach her. N seemed a little hesitant to talk to me but stayed polite. I tried testing her and talked about the effects T has been having on me but she acted like she always had and congratulated me and even complimented me on how deep my voice has gotten. I wasnt satisfied cause i wanted an apology for what she had said to me so i pushed it more. She did end up apologzing but it was a very surface level apology. At this point i didnt want to keep pushing in case it set her off again so i just took her apology (plus i wanted my best cousin back) and spent the rest of the day hanging out with her.

On the way home my mom said she was happy me and N had made up and that i should invite her to the lgbt club meetings Ive been going to this year. It seemed like a good idea to me, she lost a few friends during her episode and she could make more queer friends here. If N is trans and just in denial it could help her get the resources she needs to feel comfortable coning out. If N IS a terf maybe having more positive interactions with trans ppl could change her mind on it. Overall i thought it would be a win for her.

I brought it up to my friends and some of them blew up at me. Their argument was that itd be exposing the other trans ppl in the group to a terf and putting them in danger. I truly hadnt considered this angle so im kinda conflicted now. She had never felt like an unsafe person before and now that her episode is over she feels normal again. Even if she is a terf i dont think she could actually cause harm? I want N to get better but i dont want to put my trans friends at risk.

So tumblr, WIBTA for inviting N to my lgbt meet up?

What are these acronyms?

[aspartaime]

I'm in a mood tonight so if anyone who i have ever known see this, let's read further. This is truly so stream of conscious. It's just a general life update.

CW: drug use, mental health themes, emotional?? idk it was to me, SA

My friends on this site, I know we've been out of contact for years. I have been in a season of life where I am extremely sentimental. I look back on my friends I made here/friends I have IRL that also followed me here, and it makes my heart swell.

I was going through some severe mental issues when I was on Tumblr regularly. I've since pinned it down to "being a chronically online, easily influence teenager". There were a lot of things either glorified, justified, and normalized on Tumblr that messed up my nerf ball brain. I was not a great friend because of it. I realize in hindsight as an adult whose brain is less nerf-bally that the lot of you who cared about me must have really cared about me to stick with me through that shit show. This is my formal apology in the least direct or awkward way for my behavior. Know that I love you all and pray your lives are full of home cooked meals and laughter and peaceful Sunday mornings.

Since my PTSD diagnosis I have done a lot of making sense of old memories. My life from age 13 through age 17 is such a blur. My girlfriend doesn't know what to say when I bring it up. You all would love my girlfriend, by the way. We live together now. She's the light of my life. She makes things worth remembering again.

I finally stopped acting like a doormat. My constant need for validation that I experienced in my youth has become a mildly nihilistic disposition. But like, the cool nihilism, where nothing matters so everything is super chill. I realized it doesn't matter if I don't like someone or someone doesn't like me, we all have different preferences and needs and all. I dunno. It's kind of nice to be free of clingy baby hell. I'm attributing that to the PTSD diagnosis as well.

I got into weed. This is not a surprise to anyone who have ever had a conversation with me, I'm sure. I started smoking to take the nightmares away. Then it became just a normal part of my day. I don't abuse it though. I just find that it helps keep my head quiet.

I got in a lot of fights along the way. It's kind of funny. This last fight was really my tipping point into my "go-with-the-flow" phase. Given it was the third (or possibly even fourth? PTSD makes it difficult to care about keeping track) I was sexually assaulted, I just had to make a decision then and there I was done caring. It also reinforced my belief that people who go through hard stuff have a flashing sign over their heads that tell other predators this isn't their first rodeo. At least it felt that way to me. I digress. This person was my best friend, allegedly, and it just blew up on me.

Anyways. All that negative aside I have been doing better than I ever have. My mental health is taken care of. I stimulate my brain and challenge myself with my three jobs, LOL. It keeps e out of trouble. I am with the most darling woman I've ever met. She saved me. My two cats are my prides and joys. I'm in a longplay of the Sims 4 right now.

I sign off on this post by requesting:

If you knew me and took the time to read this, I care for you always. Thank you for helping me get to where I am now, getting me through the hardest years of my life when I was also constantly using this site, and teaching me so much about true friendship. You guys rule.

[crytidsprinkles]

ID: Umbrella Academy members all standing in a room raising shots to drink with each other.

Wow I’m really disappointed. There’s so much about the last season of Umbrella Academy that is promising. I am however NOT happy about the negative portrayal of mask wearing and mask wearers. I don’t understand the new characterization of Klaus. He’s written to be perceived as overly cautious, but comes across as insensitive and cartoonish. Which is an odd choice.

Not to mention a concerning one given how stigmatized substance abuse disorder, obsessive compulsive disorder, generalized anxiety and finally usage of PPE are all already. Trivialized and invalidated too. Media portrayal can and has been documented to have a significant impact culturally, socially and even can politically.

It is in incredibly poor taste to characterize Klaus this way, after portraying his traumas with such sensitivity in the past. Also showing him on screen, ticking boxes for certain recognizable mental health conditions in the most cartoonish clownish way possible, doesn’t come across as self aware or as if Klaus is using humor to cope (or that the writers get such problems) but turns it into a punchline at his expense. And the writers and show runners manage to portray both mental health conditions, as well as people using and who us PPE to practice public health and personal health protection terribly.

Which is something I didn’t need as someone who both has multiple disabilities including several like the ones depicted, and someone who uses PPE to protect myself and others in a pandemic that has not ended, is far from funny and amidst other disease outbreaks that are being handled intentionally piss poorly by official health organization around the globe. I think this final season may negatively add fuel to the fire of ableism and eugenics that informed, caring and or oppressed people (including disabled) have been dealing with, especially the last almost 5 years.

ID: 47.952 fps.C4 episode 406 Scene 5 through X Take 1 aspect ratio 2 3 8: 1 -35 s A4 4 director Neville kid camera Michael Marshall. Counter, neon red, illuminated "00.26.53.18

Yes the show has quite a comedic beat, however tonally thus far the show is having trouble balancing it with more dramatic or serious moments. It’s as if it can’t manage to commit to them in season 4. The show runners can’t seem to resist injecting humor even when it’s not warranted. I’m not sure if they were worried about the tone becoming too intense and heavy, but some of the best comedy comes from tragedy.

It is possible to play Klaus’s struggles straight and have comedic notes. Not in anything that he says, but how it lands and the other characters react and interact with him. Or perhaps him making morbid or sardonic jokes. I’m not totally sure where the story is going, it seems to have promise so I’ll reserve my verdict on that for now. It’s difficult that almost everyone’s acting seems…off, like being off beat, unsuccessfully, so you can’t find the rhythm so it’s challenging to listen to. Ugh, pacing issues I guess I’d say. Standout performances I think hit the mark or much better than the others is timeline 2’s Ben, Lila, Jean and Gene — a bit strange but they’re definitely hilarious and entertaining —,

I can foresee myself enjoying the story while not caring for certain aspects of the direction and acting. I will say season 4 does not feel like the others, but in a way that it does not compliment or is relative to them. Without proper grounding, tone, and pacing the other elements DO NOT work. It ends up feeling like a fairly different series. There’s nothing wrong with a show going in a different direction for the conclusion, I just find it disappointing it’s as if it’s made itself into a joke and becoming an exaggerated parody of itself. A piece of media not taking itself seriously tends to land one of two ways, a very fun time or anatomy of a failure.

[yanderes-galore]

Can I get a yandere raymond vester x fem darling scenario where he finds out that darling is leaving the FBC due to severe mental health issues please and he gets upset

Ooo, I haven't played Revelations 1 in forever. I'll see what I got, hopefully it is not too OOC.

One Last Talk

Yandere Raymond Vester Scenario

Pairing: Romantic/Platonic

Possible Trigger Warnings: Gender-Neutral Darling, Manipulation, Thoughts of kidnapping, Fear of abandonment, Obsession, PTSD.

The reasons for you leaving FBC should not be of anyone's concern. At least that's what you wanted to think. Your reasoning is more private.

The stress of your job was too much. FBC was way too high maintenance. Plus, the organization was not what it seemed. Leaving felt like the best decision.

Not to a certain spy, however.

Raymond Vester was an operative who grew attached to you while you worked for the FBC. You had helped him with Parker during the Terragrigia Panic and had tended to his wounds. Ever since, the ginger headed spy had grown fond of you.

He had an acute awareness of your mental health. Ever since the bioterrorism attack on the floating city he saw how sheltered you became. The attack echoed in your head over and over.

After that, he had a feeling you never wanted to work in this field. While it may be the best for you mentally... Raymond had trouble letting you go.

"Are you doing better today?"

He asks from a doorway, you turning to greet him. You give a deep sigh while shaking your head. Raymond frowns at your obvious display of no.

"No, Raymond... I don't think I'll get any better if I continue working for the FBC."

"Are you going to swap to the BSAA?" Raymond asks. The FBC may not be the best for you, but he knows the BSAA is a better offer for you. Especially since at this time he was a spy for them.

"I was thinking... I just leave this all entirely. Bioterrorism... I can't deal with it anymore."

"You're just going to void your contract?"

"What else am I supposed to do?"

"You're quitting because of your mental health... aren't you?"

He crosses his arms over his blue vest, eyes looking at you intensely. You stare at him in disbelief. How'd he-?

"What makes you say that?"

"I know you."

Raymond stops leaning on the wall and walks closer to you. He stands near you and observes your concerned face. As a spy, he could read you like a book.

"I understand the trauma of Terragrigia is still heavy in your mind. It's been a year and I feel the same. It's just not affecting me as it does you."

He holds your hands in his gloved ones. The contact seems a bit intimate... but you don't pull away. You have no idea he's not FBC anymore and trust him as a dear friend. A trust he is grateful to have....

"Talk to me, don't suffer alone. It may benefit both of us. You may not even have to leave."

"Why do you want me to stay?"

"We're partners. We were assigned to one another. I'd feel lost without my partner, would I not?"

Admittedly, he had Jessica help him get you as a partner instead of Parker. He wanted to be close to you and now such a decision made you friends. Perhaps something more if he pushed for it.

"You could always pair with Jessica, Parker, or even Rachel again-"

"They aren't you... we've been through so much. Shouldn't we stick together?"

"Raymond... I care for you."

His heart tightens when you move your hands to his shoulders. Your expression is sad, however. You were always stubborn....

"Yet I still must go. I won't be of any help here."

"Stay for a little while longer.... It's my final request."

"You know I can't..."

"I know you can."

Raymond's blunt with his reply, eyes holding a stubborn gaze to match your saddened one.

"You wouldn't leave me without one final goodbye, right?"

"You make this so hard...."

"How do you think I feel?"

You look away, departing from him to think to yourself. Raymond allows you your room, internally plotting how this can go. If you're leaving he needs more time- How can he keep you and him together....

"... If it'll keep you happy," You begin, catching Raymond's attention. "I'd like to spend more time with you before I leave."

Raymond feels himself smile. Both at the thought of you caring for him so much and at the fact this gives him time to plan. Perhaps he can make this work.

"I'm glad you're always thinking of me-" Raymond sighs, thinking of when you saved him. "You always think of both my emotional and physical health."

"I just hope you respect mine."

"Of course." He smiles, pulling you closer to him. "You're my partner... up until the end."

Raymond then pats your back before leaving the room.

"I'll make your send off the greatest."

"I look forward to it, Raymond!"

Raymond then leaves the room, thinking to himself.

You'll stay around longer now...

It's just time to devise a way to keep you.