#i just have severe mental health troubles and am Doing My Best

[ibelieveinahappilyeverafter]

The Mafia Princess Part VIII: The Conversation

Mafia Princess Masterpost

AO3 Link

Winning Result/Previous Chapter: Ask if Desi can drop her off at a McDonald’s so she can get food.

Reminder: The poll for the next chapter will be under the read more at the bottom of the post!

—

“I want to go to McDonalds.” Elsa hadn’t even realized she had voiced her semi-hysterical thought until Desi was slowly raising his eyebrows, and, well. At least he had proven by this point that he wasn’t going to shoot her for saying something dumb. 

Considering that, Elsa decided to do what she had done since the moment she knew she was on her own in a world that wasn’t kind. She doubled down. 

“There’s one between this place and the school, if I’m remembering all the streets right, so since you were offering anyways, you can just… drop me off there, instead.” Elsa made sure to cross her arms and take a strong stance, not sure if that made her seem more serious or less. 

She half-expected some dramatic stare-off or for Desi to say something that sounded like some kind of riddle. Instead, all she got was a simple, “Alright.” He then headed back towards the dramatic, fancy mafia car like it was just that simple. 

Unable to help herself, and because the terrifying man with the intimidating voice who was named ‘Scotty’ of all things didn’t seem like he was really listening, Elsa quickly caught up to him to ask, “That’s it? No berating me for my choices, or telling me that as a foster kid I obviously don’t have the money to spend on things like fast food- Not even a joke about how I’m using the mafia as a taxi service?”

“Well, to be fair to your last point, I often use them as a taxi service myself.” Okay, but he was the boss of them. Elsa wasn’t sure that really counted. “As for your first point, why would I? There’s nothing for me to gain by commenting on your behavior except for you to be even more difficult.” 

“Well… Yeah.” Desi slid into the car as Scotty opened the door for him, because yeah, of course. Elsa then, of course, scurried inside the car when Scotty kept holding the door open and giving her a look to hurry her ass up. Probably. She would assume that was what the look meant. “Okay, but what about the second point?” 

“How you spend what funds belong to you is your choice, even in difficult times. Although I suppose, at most, I could always caution you to have a stash tucked away in case of emergencies?” 

“That? That sounded really mafia-like,” Elsa pointed out, half-sure she heard the driver up front laugh. His name had been… Ad-something? “Just to point that out. And make sure you know.” 

Desi, at least, gave one of those little huffs of laughter that assured Elsa she wasn’t about to get in trouble or anything. Plus, it was fun to obviously be on the boss’ good side and have his lackeys be annoyed by her humor and unable to do anything except roll their eyes. (Was Elsa a little upset still over how ‘Scotty’ sounded like he wanted to shoot her when she first picked up Desi’s phone? Hm… Probably not.) 

“Aidano, the closest McDonalds, if you could.” Aidano! That had been the driver’s name! Since Elsa had taken the fancy seat that faced away from the driver, she had to do some twisting and turning to get a glimpse of his face. From what she could see, he looked amused, but didn’t even question it. “Seatbelt.” 

“Huh?” Turning back around, Elsa blinked at seeing Desi was staring at her- Oh. Right. Seatbelt. “Good job. That sounded less like a mafia thing to say.” 

“Oh, well as long as I’m doing a good job to hide it,” Desi drawled in the most dry tone she had ever heard an adult speak in. It was great. Obviously he wasn’t around kids a lot, which meant there was a good chance she could get him to just treat her like a normal human being once she got him past the whole ‘I’m a twelve-year-old girl and obviously need help’ thing he seemed to have going on. 

Taking a moment to finally put her sketchbook back into her bag, Elsa paused as she looked down at the business card she noticed she was still holding. “So… I just come back here, make sure the jacket fits, and that’s… it? I just leave after that?” 

“That’s it,” Desi said, Elsa looking from the card to him, a little surprised that she wasn't surprised with how genuine he sounded. She guessed he had been pretty upfront about everything ever since she had met him, even confirming that he was in the mafia and everything. 

“Huh.” Tucking the card away into her sketchbook, Elsa zipped up her bag, set it between her legs, and then looked back up. If this was her last time seeing an actual mafia boss — and one that wouldn’t even shoot her — then she might as well get some questions answered. “I don’t have a phone and getting to the library sucks some days, so what’s the actual difference between the mob and the mafia?” 

She heard what was definitely a laugh from Aidano and what might have been a startled grunt from Scotty, but Desi didn’t even look caught off-guard. She’d have to work on it. “I mentioned earlier that it was different races, primarily. Since I doubt you’re here for a history lesson, the quickest summary I’ll give you is that the Irish and Irish immigrants founded and control the mob while the mafia is run by those of Italian descent.” 

“Huh.” Not something she probably would have learned in school, but kind of cool to know. “So do you guys really pay off the police? Like in Gotham?” At her wonderful, thoughtful question, Scotty moved his hand so he was rubbing at his eyes and covering his face like he had a headache. Elsa was a little proud of that fact. 

Desi, proving that he was an adult that was actually kind of cool, asked, “The comics, the cartoon, or the show?” She didn’t even care if it was a front and he didn’t know any of it, it still made her opinion of him rise just a little. 

“My first thought was like the cartoon, but if it is true, I kind of pictured it’d be something more like the actual show.” She needed to try and watch more of it. Her last foster home had flipped when they had seen her watching it since she was ‘too young.’ “So, like, do you pay them off? Threaten them? Secretly have your own men infiltrated within their ranks?” 

“Sadly, I’ll have to disappoint and say none of those,” Desi chuckled — a real laugh! — and shook his head. “While we do have a relationship with the police, it can best be summed up as… tense.” 

“Ah. So you’re too good to get caught and when you do you just pay them off,” Elsa nodded, deciding that she probably didn’t want to know any more details like what they actually did as a mafia and all that. Maybe if she met them again. “Okay, so, do you have to be Italian to be part of the mafia? Or just white?”

“Well, you used to have to be full Italian on both sides of your parents.” Desi answered her like he was taking her seriously and it was honestly kind of nice. “Back around 2000, though, it changed so you only needed to be half as long as that half was on your father’s side and not your mother’s.” 

“Sounds patriarchal.” Elsa didn’t get to continue on what she had no doubt would have been a great conversation on feminism and its place in the mafia, but instead she was interrupted by Aidano and the car coming to a stop. 

“Should I remain parked, sir, or would you rather we go through the drive-through?” Hm. Elsa wasn’t sure if that was a sense of humor or not. 

Desi, instead of answering, looked at her. Elsa had a feeling she was about to be given another choice that felt like it wasn’t all that much of a choice. “Would you rather us drop you off like you wanted earlier? Or if you’d like, we can grab you something and then drop you off at your home or school.” 

Well. Nice to see she had been right.

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

AITA for not wanting to be in my cousin's life? This will be long, I'm sorry

I (f19, but this started at 15) have a rough relationship with my family, I don't have a better word to describe them as besides just not the best towards me. But the real issue now is that I don't want to be involved in my cousin's (f8, but this started at 5) life. This sounds very silly, I know, but let me explain. My cousin is physical in how she expresses herself towards me (she likes to throw things at me and hit me and bite me, and I can't do anything about it because I get in trouble if I do). I have a severe nut allergy and there have been multiple times she's been caught trying to smear peanut butter on me or in my mouth while I slept. She likes to tell me she wishes I'd just eat the peanut butter so she'd never have to see me again. She just hates me, honestly (I'm not sure why, I've never hated the kid, I'm not mean to her, none of us have been able to figure out why and when asked she just says she hates me because she hates me)

The house we lived in contained just me, her, my mother, and my uncle. She is not abused by either adult, before anyone asks, she's actually quite spoiled due to the fact that they can't discipline her in any way without risking her being taken away. And I don't hate her at all, I'm bitter about how she treats me, but I know she's only a little kid. However, I just don't like being treated that way. I recently moved out and I told my mother that I didn't want to be part of my cousin's life until she stopped treating me that way. (Info: My mother thinks she treats me this way because she's a kid so she can't vent her anger out on the adults and I was the only other kid she could vent it out on.) My mother thinks I'm being cruel and punishing my cousin, she says I'll regret this choice and that my cousin will be all I have one day so I shouldn't do this. I've tried to explain that I'm not doing it to punish my cousin, it's just not good for my mental health and I can't be around this behaviour anymore. Other family members and family friends have agreed with my mother, but my friends think my decision is right. Since moving out and not going through that every day, I've started to feel better about myself, my depression isn't as bad and I don't have as much anxiety when I go to sleep. That is kinda swaying my decision to me thinking I'm right for choosing this for myself, but I still worry my mother might be right and I might be ruining my cousin's mental health by leaving.

I want to add that I know I'm way older than her, and some of you might be wondering why I don't stand up to her, but I could never do anything to stop her. I spent many years in foster care due to issues with my family (my mother, specifically), and I know that even the littlest thing where I live can get your kid taken from you. If I even raised my voice at her to tell her to stop and she told someone, she could be taken away from my family and I can't do that to her, I know the horrors of foster care. I also have spent most of my life being abused and don't know how to protect myself or defend myself in situations like these. Please keep this in mind when/if you call me pathetic or stupid, trust me I know I am.

Please, I know a lot of you may think this is silly or dumb or bait, but I need to know aita for not wanting to be in my cousin's life?

Reasons I think I might be NTA: I think my decision is good for both of us and I believe I should put mental health first in this case as it can be dangerous in the future if I don't. I don't want to stay longer and end up hating her, she's just a kid and doesn't deserve to be hated.

Reasons I think I might be TA: This could be seen as punishing her, and she might hate me more for it. She's already started being meaner to other kids now that she can't vent it out on me and I'm an adult so I can take it better than one of her classmates could. She might think her behaviour drove me away and blame herself.

What are these acronyms?

[inevitably-johnlocked]

hey, steph! how are you, like, genuinely? not the small talk. i wanna listen

Hey Lovely 💜🖤

I want to apologize for putting this off for so long... which should be a clue as to how I am actually doing.

Honestly? Not good, but I'm trying my best. It's been... a time. Will put under a cut for those who don't want to read about the tagged items.

TL;DR – my real life is a bit chaotic, and I hide a lot from y'all because I REALLY try not to be negative here since my blog is where I come to be happy AND because I am a very private person, but I try my best to just keep going day to day as the chaos settles down slowly.

I've got some good things coming though, so I hope a week's rest next week when I'm off (and will probably take a break from here too) will reset my brain.

Work has been insane, and is most of the cause of my mental distress for the past few months. From Easter until Canada Day Weekend at my job is lovingly referred to as "Silly Season" simply because of how on-the-fly, balls-to-the-wall our workload is until summertime downtime officially begins for us. Without disclosing too much, it's basically non-stop, long hours for me until one of the 3 break weeks we get during the this long stretch happens where, incidentally because of the nature of my job and the team I work on, it actually gets BUSIER for us.

It actually ended earlier than we expected this year (yesterday) and we'll be "quieter" until the end of September now. See an opportunity, I actually took next week off between the two long weekends because my mental health has taken a severe hit and I'm having trouble just... enjoying things? I'm haven't gamed or drew in a few weeks, and blogging and writing feels like a chore. I literally just come home, file this blog, reply to one or two asks, and then go to bed, and do it all over again the next day. Day in and day out, for 3 months. On weekends I have to force myself out of my apartment because I KNOW I will sink lower if I don't leave.

On top of that, my brain has convinced me that literally everyone hates me: friends, coworkers, family, you guys, my damned plants. I just feel very alone these days and... I'll be real here, I've almost abandoned this blog a few times in the past few months. I feel like I make fic lists that no one reblogs or likes and tell me they're all shit. I post my art and I barely break 20 notes. I write something and I get maybe 2 likes. I can't really answer any thoughtful asks because my mental state's been in the shitter for months. I desperately want to reply to the few sexuality asks I have and I physically can't. Being on my computer – after working ON a computer for my day job for 12 hour days everyday – feels like too much, so I try to limit my time on the blog now too.

I just try to keep carrying on, encouraged by the once-in-a-blue-moon testimonial ask I get thanking me for still being here. I thank YOU guys for reminding me that people still like coming here.

Stressed about money and food and rent just like everyone else, and just getting frustrated at other things.

And finally, my uncle (my dad's brother and my godfather) hasn't been doing well health-wise, and he's being moved to assisted living next week. His health has been declining since Easter, so it's been a bit of worrying time for relatives.

Having my therapist helps a lot. She talks me through a lot of my complicated feelings, my sense of self and ways to cope with my anxiety and stress. I'm talking to her again next week, so no worries, gang. As I said, I just keep on keeping on.

Some positivity though:

I booked next week off to try to just... recenter myself. To forget about everything and TRY to get back to doing the things I love. I will probably take a break from this blog as well during that time to limit my social-media time. It's not ideal but I need a break from my computer, I think.

I go to the gym a lot more these days, which has helped with the seething annoyance I constantly have at work. Usually feel better after it.

And because of the gym and getting out more, I've been slowly feeling better physically, better than I have since before 2019. The break from work is for the mental health, LOL.

I'm getting my hair recoloured next week. Can't afford it, really, but I just REALLY need to feel better about myself again, and I always feel so different when I colour my hair. I was doing so good for awhile. I want that again.

Anyway, I'm sorry to bombard y'all with my complicated mess of a brain. I really do appreciate you asking, so THANK YOU. I rarely get asked in real life if I am okay because I keep very private due to past people betraying my trust. And I don't like seeing people unhappy, so I feel if I tell people about my problems, then I feel I am a burden, so I just... continue existing.

Thank you for letting me be a burden just this once.

[wardenparker]

Vampire Waltz - ch 17

Max Phillips x female reader Co-written with @absurdthirst

A mysterious inheritance, sprawling mansion, eccentric roommates, friendly bat, and coven of New England witches are the newest chapter of your life after being unceremoniously dumped and kicked out by your boyfriend. For Max, the biggest change in his life is you, and what exactly he's going to do about the fact that he is stuck living with you as long as his sire continues to punish him for that incident at his last office...

Rating: Mature, but this blog is always 18+ Word Count: 9.1k Warnings: *Blanket warnings for this series: deceased parents, cursing, food, blood and blood drinking, depictions and references to abusive relationships. Anxiety and trauma responses. Self-worth issues.* Honestly, not many warnings here. Mostly fluff and some sexy flirting and blood drinking/talk of biting. Summary: On the night of the Samhain ball, your long-anticipated return home is marked with tears, hugs, and a very important announcement. Notes: Next week's epilogue will be the official end of this story, my darlings, and I am so grateful for every single one of you who has come along for the ride!

Ch 1 ~ Ch 2 ~ Ch 3 ~ Ch 4 ~ Ch 5 ~ Ch 6 ~ Ch 7 ~ Ch 8 ~ Ch 9 ~ Ch 10 ~ Ch 11 ~ Ch 12 ~ Ch 13 ~ Ch 14 ~ Ch 15 ~ Ch 16

"Miss Allison, I promise you that everything is under control." Mrs. Taylor has watched Allison work her very hardest to finish the plans on the Samhain ball, and she has done wonderfully. Far more wonderfully than Allison herself would ever take credit for. Now, though, it is up to Mrs. Taylor and the rest of the staff to get the buffet tables and innumerable chairs set. "Please go and get dressed. We will take care of everything from here. It is going to be a wonderful night."

“Are you sure?” She bites her lip and wracks her brain, running through the mental checklist that has been swirling through her mind and double then tripled several times.

"This is not, as you like to say, my first rodeo." The elder vampire chuckles at the expression and motions toward the stairs. "There is plenty of time. Take a shower or even a bath. Relax yourself. Get dressed. It is time to enjoy your night."

“Do you think we ordered enough blood and donors?” She asks worriedly. Vampires from all over are descending on the estate and some do not drink from blood bags, so concessions had to be made.

“Mr. Finchley counted through the bags this morning and Renee is meeting each of the donors as they arrive.” Mostly students from the neighboring college, the set of a dozen voluntary donors for the night have signed contracts for financial compensation that they are permitted to back out of at any time if they should decide — and they will also be provided with enormous care packages made by the Taylors regardless of how long they stay or how many guests partake of their blood. Mrs. Taylor has baked and cooked enough in advance for each of them to essentially have a week’s worth of free food and Mr. Taylor went through enormous trouble to find them all manner of health and self-care items as well as other goodies. “Mr. Taylor had offered to speak to everyone but Renee thought the young ladies who signed up might be less intimidated if she was the one to greet them.”

“That would be best. I can also meet with them. Explain how it is for a human.” She offers with a slight blush. Last night she and Eddie had indulged in that particular activity after the conversation they had and she loved it.

Mrs. Taylor smiles at Allison’s blush, not calling attention to it but certainly noting the happiness in the young woman. Things appear to be going quite well. “I’m sure they would be comforted to hear from you.”

“Then I will meet with them when they are ready.” Allison decides with a smile. “Please have someone inform me when that is?”

“They have been asked to arrive by nine o’clock tonight.” The mantle clock beside them reads just after seven, meaning there truly is plenty of time. “The Master is taking it upon himself to greet any trick or treaters we might have tonight, so do not feel you need to rush in readying yourself.”

“He loves children, doesn’t he?” Allison asks, tilting her head and smiling at the thought of the elder vampire greeting kids and cooing over their costumes.

“He does.” Mrs. Taylor nods. The same expression of soft admiration paints both their features and the housekeeper clasps her hands a moment later. “Would you like a tea tray for your room? Or any help getting ready?”

“Some tea would be lovely.” She admits before she thinks about something else. “Is— has Dolly’s room been prepared for her return?” She asks softly, as if asking about it might jinx things.

An enigmatic smile from Mrs. Taylor is not the reassurance she is looking for, but the vampiric housekeeper has plenty of her own secrets as well. “All is prepared for. Truly, there is nothing for you to worry about. You should try to enjoy yourself tonight, miss.”

“Were you nervous when you were human?” Allison asks in wonder. “Or have you always been so self-assured?”

“Oh goodness no.” That actually illicits a small laugh from her and Mrs. Taylor shakes her head. “It took a good century or so to find my calm, dear girl. Before that I was as nervous as a spring bride in the morning. I simply learned to…what is your phrase? Fake it ‘til I make it. Eventually it just sank in.”

“Good to know.” She’s more assured than some, but this is her first big event and she feels like she needs to prove herself worthy to Eddie’s sire.

“Everything will be just as you wished it to be.” Mrs. Taylor promises. “Now go on. I will bring your tea up myself.”

“Thank you.” Allison flashes her a grateful smile before turning around and doing as she says.

The artfully made Alice in Wonderland and Mad Hatter costumes that Eddie found for them are hanging in his closet and Eddie himself is sitting on the bed with a copy of the party itinerary in his lap when she walks in. "Hey baby." Almost instantly, he's at her side with his arms around her. "Did Mrs. Taylor banish you from the ballroom to get ready?"

“She did.” Allison huffs out a laugh and shakes her head. “I was told that she has it completely under control. But I want this to be perfect.”

“It will be.” He squeezes her tight and presses a kiss to the top of her head. “If I suggest we take a shower will that actually relax you a little? Everything is going to be great, baby.”

“It depends.” Allison admits with a grin. “Will you…feed off me again?” She asks quietly, amazed at how much of a rush of endorphins it can be.

Eddie’s chuckle is deep, tinged with equal parts amusement and desire. “I will. Because I can smell how badly you want me to.”

Biting her lip, she grins and bats her eyelashes at him. “You don’t seem to mind it.” She reminds him, finding it intoxicating when it fires him up. He loses control for a split second when he starts to drink.

With his hands on her hips, Eddie whirls Allison around and starts walking her toward the shower with urgency. “Alright. Let’s go. Very important shower to take.”

Her laugh is one of delight and she’s ecstatic that one day, she won’t have to secretly worry about growing old and leaving Eddie. She’ll be right there with him. “Baby?” He hums and she giggles. “Can we still do this once I’m changed?”

“Shower together?” He huffs at her playfully because he knows that isn’t what she meant. “I mean we can, but vampires don’t sweat so we don’t need to wash as much.”

She snorts and rolls her eyes before she turns around to start undressing. “You know what I meant.”

“We can,” he stresses the second word and tugs off his t-shirt. “But the thing that’s weird about it is that if you drink my blood and I’m the one who turned you…it doesn’t quite taste right. It’s like an evolutionary red flag, or something like that. To prevent vampires from consuming their kin. So if you want to keep doing this, and you want it to taste good and give adrenaline and all that? I would recommend that we ask someone else to change you.”

“Would you mind?” She asks quietly. Changing a person into a vampire is also quite intimate and she doesn’t want to upset him.

“I would prefer you chose someone you know well, if it isn’t going to be me.” He can understand her choice is entirely her own, but to make another vampire is a deeply intimate and meaningful relationship. It’s why so many refer to those they have sired as their children.

“I was thinking about asking your sire.” Allison admits. “Since he approves of me.”

“Hmmm.” Eddie kisses her cheek this time, pretending to consider something he already knows is a good idea. “Are you sure you want Max for a big brother?” He teases.

She snorts and shrugs. “He will be either way.” She admits, knowing that Eddie will always be around Max. Plus she kind of likes the other vampire for his treatment of you.

“I guess that’s true.” Eddie grins, though, and helps Allison out of her last few items of clothes after turning on the hot water for them. “To be honest, I thought you might pick Mrs. Taylor, but I have no doubt if we ask him about it later, he will say yes.”

“I hope to have more of a sisterly relationship with Mrs. Taylor.” Allison admits. “Although if your sire thinks it’s a good idea, I would be fine with that.”

“I doubt dear old dad will object to siring you. But be prepared for him to make a very big deal about it.” Eddie rolls his eyes fondly. “Dramatic son of a bitch.”

“You’re dramatic in your own way.” She teases, sliding her hands up his cool chest and grinning at him.

“I’ve been well trained, I guess.” He huffs, but pulls her into the shower with him. “I’m glad you seem to like it.”

“Oh I do.” She promises, standing on her tip toes to kiss him. “I absolutely do.”

******

"This place looks incredible!" Tracy squeals, throwing her arms around Allison almost the second she's inside the house. "Holy shit, holy shit everything is amazing. And what is that smell? Are you burning incense in the house or something?"

“The food.” There’s probably some incense burning as well, but all the human food is fragrant. “You look incredible!”

"Oh, this old thing?" Tracy giggles as she twirls around in her Clueless costume and poses like a model. She and Candance and one of the other women from the coven decided to come as Cher, Tai, and Dionne tonight. "As if, right?"

“No, you look amazing, I don’t think there will be a pair of eyes that don’t stop on you and admire.” Allison gushes, grinning at the other woman. “And you’ll be dancing all night.”

"I can't believe how good the house looks and how good you look!" She jumps forward to squeeze Allison tightly again. "Everything is perfect."

“Yes it is.” Since the shower and getting dressed, she’s calmed down. It’s too late to change anything and what will be, will be. She’s left it in Mrs. Taylor’s capable hands.

Tracy bites her lip as Candace comes up beside her. “Any sign of…?”

Allison sighs, chewing on her lip worriedly and glancing around. “Not yet. But knowing Max, he will make it as dramatic as possible and arrive at midnight like some reverse pumpkin fable.” She snorts, hiding her own nerves behind the facade of humor.

“Oh god, you’re right,” Candace snorts. She reaches to hug Allison tightly and shakes her head in some sort of fond exasperation. “And he’ll have figured out how to cue Phantom of the Opera entrance music or something.”

“That would actually have been a wonderful idea!” Allison gasps. “Next year. Next year’s theme is decided.”

“All of Broadway, or specifically Phantom?” Tracy giggles at the idea, already on board.

“Phantom.” Allison knows you would love the idea. “We could honestly have a Broadway themed ball every year.”

“Different time periods, different Broadway shows, different literary influences…” Candace sighs dreamily. “My vote is for a Jane Austen ball.”

“Ohhhh that would be wonderful.” Allison sighs as well, enchanted by the idea. “It would be a very proper ball.”

“What would be?” Eddie, who had been at the front door making sure the signs for parking and entry were clear enough and in the right places, now comes up behind his girlfriend and slips one arm around her waist.

“Hi.” She beams at Eddie and sighs at the idea of him in a Regency era suit. “A Jane Austen ball.”

“Ooo, you would love that.” He coos softly and presses a kiss to her cheek. “Mr. Finchley is out front to help with parking and direct people who haven’t been here before. The first cars were pulling in when I came inside. I thought you ladies would like to know.”

“Oh, it’s time.” Allison panics for a split second but Eddie’s hand on her waist steadies her. “Then I guess you and I should stand in and greet the guests.”

“And we will man the donation table.” Tracy grabs Candace’s hand. One of the main points of the night is still to collect for charity, and every party goer is supposed to be bringing in a canned or boxed food item for the local food bank. Between the food drive and proceeds from ticket sales going to nearest women’s shelter, the night should end up being a rousing success on all fronts as long as everyone has a good time.

“Thank you.” Allison throws them grateful smiles, happy that she has such a good coven to help her.

“Come on, love,” Eddie encourages her. There is a broad, proud smile on his face and he kisses her other cheek this time. “We have guests to greet.”

“Yes we do.” In your absence, Allison wants to be the best hostess so the reputation of the party grows. This could be a success for years to come.

The first half hour or so of arrivals is a trickle. Coven members, the teachers and students from the dance studio that you and Max had gone to. Some of the museum docents from the local preservation society have arrived as a group in full costume. A few folks from the charities benefiting from tonight’s collections also arrive in their festive Halloween costumes, and a smattering of students from the nearby college as well. It’s over an hour into the night when a sleek, black sports car with tinted windows that Allison doesn’t recognize, pulls up under the porte-cochere and Mr. Taylor looks particularly amused — or even smug? — when he opens the door.

“Allison!” Though you haven’t aged a day to the naked eye, the way you hold yourself is different now. Over a hundred years changes a person, and the trauma that had once governed all of your actions has melted away to be left far in the past. But a straighter spine and surer shoulders are not what matters now. Not as you haul yourself out of the car in the beautifully elaborate gown that you wore to the first Samhain ball you ever attended — the one thrown by your abuela in 1885 when you decided to stay in the past. You and Max had thought it was a symbolic choice to wear the same clothes tonight.

Eddie’s eyes widen when Max pops out of the driver’s side and zips around to immediately take your hand, smirking slightly at the surprise and delight of the people gathered who recognize them. “I told you we haven’t missed the dancing.” He muses to you as he guides you towards the receiving party. “Edward, you look magnificent and that is saying something considering the gorgeous creature next to you.”

“What in the hell?” Eddie’s eyes widen at the deeply obvious change in Max’s demeanor and he can’t help a deep, amused laugh at how giddily you and Allison are greeting each other as he steps forward to either shake Max’s hand or give the bastard a hug. He can’t really figure out which. “Well, goddamn. You—you really did stay, didn’t you?”

Max takes the other vampire’s hand in a firm shake and drags him forward for a hug. “We couldn’t leave.” He admits shamelessly. “That time, the people, it was exactly what we both needed.” He pulls back and grins at Eddie. “But it’s damn good to see you. We missed you both.”

“We missed you, too.” As nervous as they were, and as worried as they were, it’s extremely obvious that whatever had happened, it was a positive decision. “But where the hell did you come from? And how did you leave in the first place? And when were you? We have so many questions.”

“We’ll explain it all.” Max promises. “Dolly has a lot of information to share with the coven. Including Mrs. Astor’s grimoire.”

“I’ve missed you so much.” You cling to Allison happily, drowning in your long-missed friend’s affection, before pulling back to look at her. “You look so happy, honey. That’s so good, and I’m so, so glad to see it.”

Max smirks slightly, sending Eddie a knowing look. “Eddie, you finally made your move.” He hums in approval. “Good, relationship bliss looks good on you both.”

“Come inside,” Eddie insists, practically dragging Max with him and Allison wraps her arm around yours to do the same. “We want to hear everything.”

“Of course you do.” Max is teasing, but if the situations were reversed, he would be hounding Eddie for the details. “First, how long have we been gone? Dates have kind of blurred.”

“About three weeks.” Allison tells him, still clinging to your hand. She’s still reassuring herself that you’re both real. “How long has it been for you guys, though?”

He glances at you and grins before he looks back at Allison and Eddie. “You tell them.” You urge with an indulgent smile since Max has been so excited about this.

“Only a few years.” Max insists. “One hundred and one.”

“So…you went to 1922?” Allison asks, confused because that doesn’t seem to track with what they found in their research.

“Not quite,” you admit, knowing the whole situation probably seems very complicated. “We went to 1885, and came back from 1986. A few weeks before Max was set to be born. You really don’t want to hop around in your own lifetime if you can manage it.”

“So you can move around through time?” Eddie asks, mouth hanging open as every one of his theories is being explained.

“It was by accident the first time.” The admission is a little sheepish, but you look very proud just a second later. “I’m actually quite good at it now.”

“What happened?” Allison demands. “We were thinking something happened to you when your grandfather told us.”

“Unfortunately for him, my ex decided to surprise us on our date.” It’s been a century and the hurt is gone. Not even a sting remains. Derek is no more than a blip in your past and there are now very long stretches of entire decades where you even forget he ever existed. “I tried to keep him away from us with a protection spell but my spellbinding made it go haywire, and instead of protecting Max and myself from Derek, I protected all three of us from that moment in time. It sent us back to the exact same moment, but in 1885.”

“I knew you had to be spellbound!” Allison gasps. “How did you— did you see your mother?” She asks.

"My mother has been my closest friend for a hundred years." It was difficult, moving in and out of each other's lives at times, but with both of you being functionally immortal for that time you both understood that sometimes there was no choice but to be apart. "She even called me the day she met my dad." It was a phone call you had been waiting for, unfortunately. Knowing what would ensue in the coming years, you and Max had taken it as a cue to get out of the country for the remainder of your time in your own past.

“I’m so glad you got more time with her.” Allison glances at Eddie nervously, aware that your grandfather’s announcement tonight might devastate you.

"Then why do you look as though you had lost my favourite sweater?" You reach for her with both hands and squeeze her shoulders gently. "What's wrong, Ali? The place looks amazing, you look happy, and we're finally home again. It should be a night to celebrate."

“It is.” She promises, shaking off the feeling and sending you a smile. “Your grandfather will be happy to see you.” She promises.

"He should be expecting us." Out of anyone in literally all of time, your grandfather has always been the one person most informed about when and where you will be, your plans, and anything else you could conceivably need. He's been a wonderful father figure to Max and a doting grandfather to you, as well as an invaluable resource.

“He is.” Allison assures you. “In fact, he was the one to tell us you would be back tonight.” She admits with a rueful grin. “Guess we shouldn’t have doubted him.”

"He's the last person we spoke to before we left 1986," you admit, but you also shrug. After hanging up with your grandfather, you'd definitely spent the next few hours enjoying a nice dinner and fucking all over your empty house. Max's absurd '80s power suits had ended up to be just a little bit of a turn on for you. You're just not quite sure how that happened.

Max smirks, reaching up and caressing the back of your neck as you are obviously thinking about the same thing he is. “That was a lucky year.” He teases softly.

"Very lucky." Your own smirk meets his and for one happy moment you forget anyone else exists, just sharing an amused glance with your soulmate. It may be more than a hundred years later, but you still fall a little more in love with him every day.

He arches a brow and licks his lips. “No one would miss us for a few minutes, would they?” He asks, even though he knows he can’t sneak you away for a quickie.

Allison snorts in amusement, shaking her head at Max seemingly not changing at all in his core, despite the changes in his manners on the surface. "It's your house, guys," she reminds you both.

“No.” Max shakes his head and smiles at your friend. “My wife has waited way too long to see you again to sneak her off.” He admits with a chuckle. “And I’ve been told if I mess up her hair before our first dance, there’s hell to pay.”

"It'll be Gladys Vanderbilt's debutante ball all over again," you tease. The fond roll of your eyes is nothing but love after so many years together. "Although..." Looking up at him, you flash him a sly smile. Hearing him call you his wife still hasn't gotten old. "It's been what...fifty years now, since the last time we had a wedding? We might be due for another one."

“You’re married.” Eddie is the one who practically squeals it. He has known Max to be staunchly against being tied down, but that was before you. “How many times have you gotten married?”

"Um..." The look you and Max share is vague confusion, as between the two of you, you try to count out the different weddings you have celebrated over the decades. "1885...1923...1946...1967...and the last one was 1980. So five times. And I guess that's not quite fifty years ago. More than forty, though."

“Oh my god.” Allison whispers, glancing between you and Max in amazement. “Five weddings? Max you are just….” She shakes her head and throws her arms around him while looking over her shoulder at Eddie. “You have a standard now.”

“Sorry Eddie,” you tease, enjoying the easy lightness of being with your friends again. The urge to just continuously hug them and not let go is very real. “Although it is fun. And parties these days are so much more casual than they once were. That makes it a bit easier. Or at least less forbidding to plan.”

“I want to experience that.” Eddie admits, reaching out taking Allison’s hand. “We have decided that Allison will become immortal soon.” He announces after she gives him a soft smile of encouragement.

“Oh, honey!” Your eyes flit between both of them before you bundle them both up in a hug with a beaming smile. “There is so much life to live. You’re going to love it.”

“I can’t take Eddie’s blood like you can with Max.” Allison doesn’t mind that, not really. All that matters is that Eddie wants her. “And Eddie doesn’t want to…outlive me.”

“I think it’s an oversight on the universe’s part that you aren’t soulmates.” The connection they have is so strong and their love so sure, you would have just assumed it if you hadn’t been around when they started dating. “It’s wonderful to hear that you’ll be able to be together.” Glancing over your shoulder, you smile at your own partner. Your other half throughout all of history. “Forever is quite fun, I have to admit.”

“You don’t look a day older.” Allison smirks as she takes in the changes you have brought back from the past. Self-assurance looks amazing and you seemingly glow. No longer the scared woman she had met in a farmer’s market, you are almost intimidating, and your entire aura radiates powerful magic.

“That’s a combination of Max’s blood and Audrey Hepburn’s face cream.” You smirk conspiratorially. “I’ll guard that potion with my life, since you won’t be needing it once you’ve been changed.”

“Interesting.” Her brow wings up at the mention of the famous actress, realizing you must have met her at some point. “Hepburn was a witch?”

“Particularly good with charms and potions. And she was fun. You never hear about her being fun, but she was great.” Beside you, Max has one arm around your waist and he hums proudly. “Max was a movie producer after the Second World War.”

“Really?!” The squeal is loud and enthusiastic and all heads snap towards the group. “Oh— that’s— I can’t believe we didn’t find you.”

“We were using different names at that point.” It had been essential to learn how to craft and re-craft new identities. Luckily, your grandparents had been fountains of information. “And Max only produced, so it’s not as though we were in anything.”

“Still.” She shakes her head and giggles. “The stories you can tell. What else have you two done?”

"I'll tell you everything starting tonight," you promise her, as the four of you step deeper into the house. It's good to be back at Chateau-sur-Mer again. To you and Max it has been just a few years since the last time you were here, but that's long enough to miss it. "But tomorrow you should come over to our house for dinner."

“Your house?” Her eyes widen and Allison frowns in confusion. “Dolly— th-this is your home. Cookie willed it to you, remember?”

"I know." And it is good to be back, but you rub Allison's arm affectionately. "But to avoid complications with my family through history...Max and I built another house here in Newport."

“When?” “Where?” Allison and Eddie ask at the same time with identical sounds of bewilderment.

They've reached a place where they have the same voice sometimes and it makes you smile softly. "You know that little gothic house on the beach that has basically been abandoned for the last couple of decades but somehow never decays? Seacliff Castle?" Beside you, Max smiles proudly. "It was finished in 1888. Max and Yayo designed it with the architect who built this place."

“You are kidding me!” Allison’s screech can raise the dead and she looks like a kid who was just told she was going to Disney and getting a puppy. “I have always wanted to tour that house, but no one knows who owns it. But it was you all along?”

"Come over tomorrow and we'll show you the whole place," you promise her, giggling happily at the absolute glee in her reaction. "But tonight? I want to see what you've done with the ball. I know it's going to be amazing."

“I have been so nervous.” She admits quietly. “But I think we have everything. Including donors for those who don’t eat bagged blood.��

“Mrs. Taylor and Yayo would never let you have anything less than a perfect night.”

“Do I hear my name being taken in vain?” From a nearby dark corner, your grandfather emerges into the low, atmospheric lighting of the great hall.

Max chuckles as he hears his sire’s voice. “Always.” He shakes his head. “Dramatic like always,” he jokes, having told you that your grandfather would make a dramatic entrance.

“I have learned that there are some things which are expected of me,” he jokes pleasantly. “Your journey was not difficult, then?”

“No.” Max reaches out and shakes his sire’s hand warmly and pulls the elder vampire in for a hug. “Cookie did not stake you for keeping our true relationship a secret, I see.” He jokes, even though everyone already knew that.

“She was…not happy.” He clears his throat distinctly remembering that particular fight with his soulmate. Cookie had been furious to find out that her beloved granddaughter and the witch she had been so fond of for a hundred years were one and the same.

“Hopefully she understood eventually why we had to keep it from her, and from Annie.” The contact with your mother had lessened over the years but she had never demanded that they choose sides, something Max had been grateful for – for your sake.

“She did understand.” He is sure of that, considering how very much it had been discussed. “But she regretted not being able to dote on you both as her grandchildren.”

“She did dote on us though.” Max protests and shakes his head. “She treated us like we were family and she loved Dolly like another daughter.”

“She did.” His sire nods, knowing it is the absolute truth. He sighs though, with a theatrical shrug of his shoulders. “But you know Cookie. My darling girl loved titles.”

“She was a special lady.” Max has a fonder appreciation for the older woman, even more so with the knowledge she had known who he was when he first arrived and still had kept her word to her husband to not say anything.

“She was remarkable.” Your grandmother may not have been perfect — in fact she was decidedly less than sometimes — but that was what made her so incredibly special to you. She had never demanded that perfection from you or Max that she tended to expect from Annie. Perhaps it was for the best that she didn’t know how you were at the time? You’ll never quite know.

“Yes, she was.” For a brief second, amongst those he is closest to, your grandfather’s grief shines on his face. Missing the other half of his soul as vividly as the day she had passed in his arms.

“I’m sorry, Yayo.” The only one of the four younger beings whose instinct is to reach out, you bundle your grandfather up in a hug. “I miss her, too. Her and Mom.”

He accepts the hug, squeezing you harder than he would have before you started taking Max’s blood. “Thank you, muñeca.” He hums softly, not missing the way that Eddie and Allison shift slightly. “I will be reunited with them soon.”

“You never know when the people we love can come back to us,” you hum, but the look on your grandfather’s face makes you hesitate. “But…somehow I don’t think you’re talking about that…?”

“Because you are bright.” Yayo praises softly, cupping your cheek and smiling at you mysteriously. “It has always been my plan to join my soulmate in her afterlife.” He admits. “Since she decided to end her mortality. I have only extended my time in this existence to make sure you were well settled, my darling muñeca.”

“Oh…” You don’t cry much anymore, but tears well up behind your eyes instantly. Saying goodbye to the last of your family is not something you had prepared for tonight. “I—but—the family?” He has so many more responsibilities than just your immediate family, you can only imagine that he was preparing for this for a very long time. Or else made a lot of decisions very quickly.

“Is your family now.” He reminds you softly. “Although I have decided to name my successor tonight.” He smiles proudly and hopes that you will not be too upset at him.

“This night is much more important than I thought, then.” Stepping back from him, you settle against Max’s side and try for a smile. Your grandfather is doing what will make him happiest and you have to respect that, even if it is rather a big shock.

“You will understand.” He promises, smiling at the group and then motioning towards the ballroom. “Let the evening begin.”

******

The evening, as Yayo so elegantly termed in, is incredible. With the party starting so late and the buffet being available to guests all night long, it seems that the ebb and flow of partygoers is constant. Music plays, people dance, and the lingering masses of vampires throughout the house are generally met with curiosity from the humans who find them fascinating — though they don’t quite know why. Those who are attending as donors are spoiled immensely and some have been given guest rooms for the night, but for the most part they seem to be an altogether dreamy sort of drunk to the unaware humans present. It is not until Yayo disseminates word to his extended family of brooding immortals to meet in the morning room that any sort of tension cracks the enjoyment of the night.

Max holds your hand, aware that you are upset, and he wishes he had some insight into this talk. As close as he had become to the older vampire, he hadn’t had a clue he was planning on giving up his immortality. “It will be alright.” He assures you softly, squeezing your hand.

“I know.” You squeeze his hand tenderly and lean into his side, long ago having learned how to be close even while wearing large gowns. You just wish you had had more notice. Time to prepare. “He just has to be dramatic as hell about all of this. Calling a family meeting in the middle of a ball? Very Yayo.”

“He likes to make a scene.” Max snorts, lifting a brow when the servers bring around glasses of blood and champagne for the guests. The one who stops in front of you, hands you a specific glass. “It’s white grape juice, madam.”

The barest sniff of sweet juice proves she is telling the truth, and you smile gratefully. Even after a hundred years? Alcohol holds no appeal for you whatsoever. “Thank you,” you acknowledge with a smile. “My husband prefers something a little richer, if you don’t mind.”

“Mr. Phillips.” Another glass is handed to him and he sniffs it politely.

“Hmmmm AB negative.” He smirks. “Someone put some thought into planning this.”

"Allison said she left blood menus to Mrs. Taylor." There is no mistaking that your friend took the responsibility of planning tonight seriously, and divvying tasks out to the appropriate people when delegation benefited the situation.

“Then I will have to thank her.” Max takes and sip and hums in approval. “But later.”

"Has he started yet?" Eddie and Allison slip into the room beside the two of you, already having said hello to the extended vampiric family earlier in the night.

“Not yet.” Max eyes the elder vampire. “I think he was waiting for something.”

"It's always something," you hum, sharing a grin with Allison as the same passing waitress who served you and Max returns to offer Eddie and Allison drinks before exiting the room. When she goes, she shuts the morning room door behind her.

“I would like to thank everyone for traveling to attend tonight.” Yayo’s voice never seems to raise in volume but it booms around all of you clearly. “Not only is this a worthy cause to humans dear to my heart, but it is also a special night for our future.” There is a smattering of polite applause and you lean into Max's side even while Allison does the same with Eddie beside you.

“All the vampires here, I have personally sired.” He reveals with a pleased smirk on his face. Considering there are no fewer than two dozen vampires in the room, a small murmur ripples through the younger of that number. The elder vampires chuckle with the knowledge. “And tonight…” He holds up his own glass of blood. “One of you will replace me as the elder vampire. Leader and mentor to the future.” He announces. “I have decided to join my soulmate in the afterlife.”

The limited, mannered responses are gone in an instant, replaced by an audible gasp and murmured exclamation as the members of your extended — very extended — family all look around the room to see if anyone knew this announcement was coming. Eyes fall on you more than anyone else, wondering if your grandfather will take his biological family into account in this decision.

“I know that a lot of people have wondered who would take my place. And at one point in time, I had imagined my grandson-in-law, Max Phillips, to lead our pack.” He turns his head and acknowledges him with a smile. “However, there is another that I have in mind, since Max will be busy with juggling a new role.”

New role? You look to Max with confusion, but it's clear from the furrow in his brow that he has no idea what your grandfather is talking about either. If anything, his expression is more akin to crestfallen than anything else. He's fallen short of whatever expectation his sire had of him...

“Years ago, I made a mistake.” Yayo admits to the men and women he considers his children. “My Annie, my daughter with my soulmate; I felt she was destined to leave the coven of witches and her soulmate Emmanuel would be the perfect vampire mate. I ended up losing my daughter and never got to properly apologize for placing so much emphasis on the wrong things.” He pauses for a second. “I want my granddaughter and her husband to focus on the most important role of all. They will be becoming parents.”

Enthusiastic is the word for the applause this time, though the reaction from you and Max — the people being announced — is pure shock. "H—how?" How could he possibly know that? Especially before you do?

Your grandfather chuckles, seeing the confusion and bewilderment on your face. “Your smell, my dear muñeca.” He explains with an enigmatic smile. “I have had the pleasure of smelling a vampiric pregnancy before. That is why your soulmate had not been aware either. There is a sweeter note to your blood.”

Honestly, you might be more embarrassed about having it announced in front of so many people if you weren't so flabbergasted by the news. With your jaw practically on the ground and your eyes watering, your free hand goes to your stomach while your other squeezes Max's so tightly you would be afraid of hurting him if he weren't a vampire. You're so shocked that you didn't even notice Allison take the glass from your hand or the proud uncle expression on Eddie's face.

“I want my family to focus on being there, being the best parents they can be.” He admits selfishly with a small shrug. “Who says you can’t teach an old dog new tricks?” He jokes. “Max however, will be vital to the next leader. His own wisdom far greater than my own, and I feel that he will make Edward Perez the best leader vampires have ever had.”

Eddie's gasp is even more audible than your own when he hears his sire say his name. For that matter, it's been almost ten years since he used his mortal surname, and hearing it spoken so proudly is a kind of gratification that he can't quite express. While it's true that his sire — the entire room's sire — had given him more than ample guidance over the decades, Eddie hadn't ever considered himself anything too special. Not until he had started giving him more responsibilities in the last few years. Not until Allison had come along with her staunch and unyielding belief in him. Now it seems like all of that is coming to a head, and he steps forward hesitantly to stand up beside his sire.

“Eddie has been the best vampire that I could have imagined.” Yayo admits. “And Max— he has held a special place in my heart from the very beginning. I know that with Eddie in charge and Max advising him, our numbers will grow and your bonds strengthen.”

If there is any doubt or dissention from the other vampires of the clan, not a word of it is spoken in their sire's presence. Instead Eddie accepts a few nods and a whistle or two from his extended family and looks back at Allison to flash her a smile before putting his hand out to his sire. "I will do everything I possibly can to live up to this responsibility, and the faith that you've placed in me."

Max smiles, still a little shocked that he had not known you were pregnant. Leaning close and inhaling your scent to recognize the sweet, floral undertones to your blood for what it is. He had just imagined it was because modern food was processed with more sugar than in the past.

“I can’t be that far along, can I?” You whisper to him under the commotion of vampires now moving forward to shake Eddie’s hand or meet Allison for the first time. Many of them had not bothered to meet the younger vampire’s partner earlier in the night but they are making the effort now. “I mean…” you look up at your soulmate with disbelieving tears in your eyes, beaming an enormous smile at him. “I haven’t even missed my period yet.”

“No.” Max can’t help but lean closer to smell you again, addicted to the idea that you are carrying his child. If his own tears are concealed by your neck, that’s just a coincidence. “Your smell hasn’t been sweeter for long. Only a few days.”

“It’s sweeter?” Somehow that is just about the cutest thing you’ve ever heard — that pregnancy can and does make your scent sweeter instead of anything else — and the water behind your eyes presses at them again.

“It is.” Max hums softly, smiling at the newfound knowledge. Committing this smell to memory. “We will have to make sure you stay healthy, my love.”

"It's a damn good thing that I mined abuela for information about carrying a half-vampire baby while I still had the chance." The hand you have on your stomach curls in, conscious of the corset under your dress but knowing that there isn't anything but a tiny little bundle of cells in there right now. "Holy shit...pregnant..."

“I can’t believe it.” It’s not like you’ve been trying but you also have gone over one hundred years without protection. Max had quietly assumed children weren’t to be and had never mentioned it so he wouldn’t worry you. The relief that he can give you a child is one that would make him cry, and he will later on when it’s sunk in.

"I just sort of assumed..." you murmur, leaning into his side and burying your face at his shoulder. In this room you can be quiet as a whisper and everyone will still hear you, but they have enough respect to pretend otherwise. "After so long...I figured it was just...not in the cards."

“It just wasn’t our time yet.” He murmurs softly, smiling at the thought that you are carrying his little baby biter. “Do you want some of my blood or should we find a vintage you like for when the baby demands more than you normally take?”

"Abuela said she ended up drinking a glass of blood at almost every meal in her second trimester." Of course the word trimester hadn't been used in that conversation, but you had made copious detailed notes for yourself after any conversation in which vampire pregnancy or children rearing was mentioned. "I guess I'm going to have to figure out how to drink it when it isn't from you. Maybe mixed with hot cocoa? Or even decaf coffee."

He chuckles. “Actually, you might like it in tomato juice.” He suggests. “Keep you from thinking about it too much.”

"That's not a bad idea." The hand you have in his tightens reflexively, keeping him close and savoring these first few moments of realization. "We'll try a little bit of everything. It's going to be a very interesting nine months, considering I'm only the second woman in the world to carry a vampire's baby."

“I mean technically….” Max grins. “You’re a quarter vampire yourself. A little more than that every night.” He winks at you salaciously.

A momentary snort of amusement breaks a little bit of the bubble of worry that was starting to form in your mind, and you nudge him with your shoulder. "A hundred years later and you can still never resist joking about that."

“Babe, if I ever stop joking about that, you just go ahead to push that stake through my heart.” He jokes, knowing that you would never think about something like that.

"It'll never happen," you laugh, knowing as well as he does that some things will just never change.

“I know.” He bites his lip and grins at you. “So we haven’t had a wedding in this time.” He ventures. “What do you think about a shotgun wedding?”

"Oo, we've never had one of those before." An elopement, a grand party, a trip to City Hall, a backyard barbecue, and a small town bash — all of those you've done. But a shotgun wedding would be a new one for the two of you. "I think it's perfect."

“Now…we have to find out who’s holding the shotguns.” He jokes, pulling you close and pressing his lips to yours. “Do you want to wait until the belly is huge or before?”

"We may not get a chance to have me showing off a baby bump in a wedding dress ever again. I think we have to take advantage of it." He can obviously feel the way your heartbeat has risen, smell the way your adrenaline is singing, but that tender bump of his heart when he kisses you makes it all a perfect symphony.

“Completely agree.” Max nods seriously. “The wedding should be themed. Obviously.”

"Baby themed or cowboy themed?" You ask, laughing but slightly afraid to hear the answer.

“Oh no.” He snorts and sends you a grin. “Hillbilly, shot gun wedding.” He tells you, enjoying the idea immensely even if you would never agree.

Both of you snort, knowing it isn't the kind of thing that you'll ever do, but that joking about it is it's own kind of fun. "Water guns as favours for every guest and a Beverly Hillbillies impersonator to marry us?"

He chuckles and nods. “Something like that.” He jokes before he looks at you seriously. “I do want us to be married officially before the baby is born. In our true timeline.”

"I have no problem with that." Somehow you have a feeling this will be the wedding that matters most to him, whereas the one nearest and dearest to your heart was the one in 1885 where you were surrounded by your family and new friends. Setting both hands on his chest, you lean in to kiss him again and smile softly. "We'll make this one perfect for you, love."

Max knows that after one hundred years of family with your mother and grandparents, he should not have familial hang ups, but he does. “I don’t care about perfect.” He promises. “I just want to do right by you and our child.” He admits. “To be everything my father said I would never be. A good husband, a good father. A good man.”

"Those are the things you are, Max." It never hurts to remind him once in a while. You know that. But you also know that sometimes he has to prove it to himself more than anyone else. "And I'm very proud to be your soulmate."

“I never want that to change.” The Max of before might not have said that in front of a room full of vampires, but he doesn’t care. If they know nothing else about Max Phillips, they should know that he is devoted to his soulmate.

It takes a little while for the hubbub to calm down, but when it does, Eddie squeezes his arm gently around Allison's shoulder on one side of him and looks to his sire and shakes his head in near disbelief. "This is...it's a surprise. I have to admit."

“You don’t think you deserve it?” Max asks, clapping his vampiric brother on the shoulder and even though he’s disappointed for himself, he’s proud for Eddie. He understands why Yayo didn’t name him as the next head of the clan. He would be too distracted by your pregnancy and Eddie is levelheaded where Max is not.

"We're the two youngest, and you're soulmates with his granddaughter," Eddie reminds Max, turning to clap his brother on the shoulder. "You can't blame me for expecting the choice to go in another direction."

“Nah, you deserve it.” Max tells him honestly. “You’re the better vampire and you know it.” He smirks. “Now we just need to get you to act like it.”

"Good thing you're home, then." He laughs, grinning even as he shakes Max's hand with a force that would break a mortal's bones. "We'll catch up with you in a second," he intones, glancing back at you and Allison hugging a few feet away. "I need to talk to our Father about something."

“Of course.” Max flashes him a grin and a wink. “I’m going to go flirt with my wife and your girlfriend.” He teases before moving back to your side protectively.

"Actually..." Allison slips away from your side to take Eddie's outstretched hand. "I'm...part of this conversation. But when we get back out there, I'm stealing you for a dance. Okay, twinkle toes?"

“Oh?” His eyebrows raise furiously but he nods and wraps his hand around your waist. “Hope you’re ready to glide around the floor. I’ve had over one hundred years of practice with Dolly.”

"That's exactly why I'm stealing you," she teases, giving you both a small wave before turning back into Eddie's side to broach the topic of her own siring with the vampire who just stepped down as head of his long-lived clan.

“I wonder if everything is alright.” Max frowns slightly as he looks at the retreating pair and then back at you. “How are you doing, my love?” He asks, cupping your cheek.

"Wonderfully." The glass of grape juice is still sitting nearby and you pick it up, wanting the small comfort of a drink in hand. "In fact, I think when we go home in the morning, we should celebrate."

“How should we celebrate?” Max asks with a grin, even though he’s got some idea.

"Hmmm..." you tease, pretending to think very hard about it even though you already know the answer. "I was thinking...by the same way that we made the little nugget in the first place."

“You mean you want to have sex on the balcony overlooking the ocean and waving to the boats as they pass by?” Max grins as he licks his lips.

"I'm so glad we decided to have a house by the water," you groan softly, humming at the memory of just a few days ago — it was still 1986 but you were back at Seacliff, getting ready to travel back to your own true timeline. "Excellent idea. Extremely good."

“I know.” He grins at you. The house has been a lovely refuge for the two of you. It had given you the separation you needed from mother and grandmother so you didn’t spill the secret.

"So Eddie's head of the vampiric family, huh?" Wrapping your hand around Max's arm, the two of you drift back toward the ballroom at a leisurely pace. "And you'll be his right-hand. That's a hell of a lot of responsibility while we're growing our own family."

“I think that’s why your grandfather didn’t want me to take over.” Max admits. “Although, don’t tell Eddie I said this, he’s a better fit for the job.”

"You're a good pair." You admit that you had balked a little at the time, but when Max had wanted to go check on Eddie's human parents in the few years before he was born, the late 70s and early 80s had actually ended up being a blast. Eddie's little hometown in Northern California was comfortable and fun, and you’d lived a very basic suburban life for a few years. Max had barely stifled tears the day your neighbors had brought little newborn Eddie home from the hospital.

“We’ll see.” Max doesn’t argue but his hand slides down to your stomach proudly. “I’ll honestly be more focused on you and the little biter.” He has already filed the paperwork to ‘inherit’ the money he has made over the past generations. Restraining himself and not taking advantage of his insider knowledge too badly.

“That’s what you’re going with calling the baby, huh?” You raise an eyebrow at him but still end up smiling. You’ve wanted this for so long, it almost doesn’t matter what he calls them.

“I can call them a little pup.” He teases, his chest puffed out proudly. “That’s what baby bats are called.”

“That’s actually kind of cute.” The smile on your face widens again and your hand rests over his on your stomach. “Which is appropriate, since you’ve always been my Cutie.”

His shy grin is always something that makes him look younger and despite the years, he still is bashful about the way he had become a bat to spend more time with you. “Need to find a bat mobile for the crib.” He jokes, “or I’ll just change and flap around to entertain them.”

“It will end up being both.” At the edge of the ballroom, you beam at him proudly and hold out your other hand. “First dance as expectant parents?”

“Always.” Max takes your hand and kisses the back of it. You had mentioned how much you loved the gesture when you had first watched Titanic when you were younger and while back in the 1800s it was extremely appropriate. Now he knows that two hundred years from now, he will still kiss the back of your hand to watch the burst of delight in your eyes. “Waltz with me. Today and every day, my love.”

______

Master Tags: @pixiedurango @chattychell @winter-fox-queen @lady-himbo @artsymaddie @princess76179 @paintballkid711 @missminkylove @pedrosbrat @ew-erin @sarahjkl82-blog @sharkbait77 @justanotherblonde23 @lv7867 @recklesswit @mylittlesenaar @f0rever15elf @gallowsjoker @steeevienicks @athalien @sherala007 @skvatnavle @thatpinkshirt @jaime1110 @girlimjusttryingtoreadfanfics @goodgriefitsawildworld @greeneyedblondie44 @littlemousedroid @harriedandharassed @churchill356 @ajathegreats-blog @haylzcyon   @beardsanddetectives @kirsteng42 @ladykatakuri @adancedivasmom @madiebear @tanzthompson @emilianamason @bigsdinger @xocalliexo @pedr0swh0r3 @avaleineandafryingpan @charlyrmv @avidreader73 @iceclaw101 @loveslide @elegantduckturtle @becsworld @julesonrecord @its-nebuleuse @itsrubberbisquit @mikeyswifie @guelyury @lizzie-cakes @for-a-longlongtime @vabeachazn @purplerain04 @weho2kcmo @madnessofadaydreamer

VW: @haileymorelikestupid, @miraclesabound @nastiasnow @vabeachazn @oberynslady @grogusmum @kittenlittle24 @8-900 @survivingandenduring @ktmadden86 @inept-the-magnificent @missladym1981 @sweetnsaltyclussy @survivingandenduring

My Masterlist!

[floret-affini-research]

RESEARCH LOG 004

RESEARCHER M. Florez

Opening file...

I have now concluded my second day in this vessel. I have gathered much more information to where I am unsure what to do with. It appears that the Affini have a form of immortality called "blooming" where they are able to shed their current form and remove signs of aging and damage. It appears that as long as their "core" remains intact, they are functionally immortal. The affini known as Verdianthos Arum (who from now on shall be known as Ms. Verdi in my reports) seemed quite joyous to share this information with me. I wonder if perhaps she is a researcher like me, exploring the many wonders of the cosmos. I wonder if she'll allow me to accompany her on an expedi- That is besides the point. She was very helpful in giving me the information I asked for.

I have also learned very startling information that explains how these beings were able to defeat the Terrans so easily. It appears that the Affini are able to produce several toxins that can cause many effects in the human body, including increased sense of touch, unconsciousness, paralysis, hypnotic trance, and memory loss. These appear to be distributed both as a form of injection directly from and Affini's many vines or as a aerosol to cover a larger area. They also have strange eyes in thay they appear to give a hypnotic pulse when stared it. They seem to just pull you in without you quite realizing what has happened. While they are terrifyingly large creatures composed of living flora, even I must admit that she- they are fascinating to study.

As for the "floret", it appears to genuinely believe that it is being cared for the the best it can be. It has told me that it feels no hardship and that "everything will be alright with Mistress!" I still am uneasy of these Affini being seen as "owners" of terrans who are inundated with the toxins they produce. However, I cannot deny that the terran does appear to be joyous even without the toxins coursing in its' system. It informed me that it does not remember much about its' life before meeting Ms. Verdi Verdianthos Arum, only that it was "a biiiit of a trouble maker" I shall have to ask the affini more about the domestication progress when the day comes again. I can, at least, conclude so far that the terrans are indeed treated well and taken care of. I have tried the food they prepare it is a remarkable increase in quality from the rations I have been limiting myself to. However, I wil still limit myself primarily to food I can be certain has not been tampered with.

I will conclude today with a log of my current health to ensure I am able to provide at my upmost capacity. I will ensure to provide this for each following report.

Physical health: Optimal, no new concerns or conditions

Mental health: Below average, high levels of stress

Emotional health: Neutral, high levels of stress

Addendum: I know not why I included parts that appear to show a degree of respect for the Affini or why I have started using an abbreviated form of her name. It appears for some reason that I am unable to remove these parts from my report no matter how I try. I am growing worried that perhaps I too am beginning to turn or that perhaps I am being exposed with an aerosol of the toxins. I shall have to make sure I keep my guard up. May the starts protect me from her.

[pygmi-cygni]

vent - functional literacy vs YA publication

this has been sitting in my head for years, really, but I'm so glad more people are starting to notice the effects.

YA novels have been slowly corrupting publishing strategy and overall, the literacy of readers.

DISCLAIMER

I am not saying people shouldn't read YA. Obviously, YA is a genre best suited for a certain age group (12-18). YA is fitted for the appropriate Lexile level of 12-18 year olds.

However.

More than half of YA readers are older than eighteen, most in their early to mid twenties.

Why is this a problem?

The accessibility, popularity, and easy reading level of YA novels is appealing to mass audiences. While that is not necessarily a bad thing, it means that adults are not expanding their reading level. This is a troubling reality for advanced employment.

In a work environment, reading is content-appropriate and usually highly advanced. Employees need to analyze and maturely reason with product/client problems and find solutions. As you get older, the reading content is supposed to evolve to fit that mindset.

When adults are consistently reading below the expectation, it weakens their reasoning skills and makes them functionally illiterate.

About 21% of American adults are functionally illiterate.

What is functional literacy?

Literacy is the ability to read and write proficiently and at an age-appropriate level. Functional Literacy is the ability to reason and use reading/writing skills to connect topics to the world around you.

TLDR: literacy: I can read the paragraph. functional literacy: I can find the theme/deeper meaning of the paragraph and relate it to something contextually relevant.

Why is this bad?

An inability to reason and analyze means that employees and adults in general are less equipped to deal with age-appropriate problems. After a while, underperforming becomes a norm. In advanced fields of work like medicine and technology, this inhibits expansion and proactive care.

The YA industry has normalized a mediocre, basic structure of writing. A problem has arisen with the lexile level juxtaposed with the content level.

Plenty of 'YA' novels contain graphic content that is very mature and should be handled as such - namely, sex and mental health. In a lot of popular BookTok and 'mafia/forbidden romance' books, the reading and writing level is consumable for 14-18 year olds, but the content maturity is very adult.

Hence, mature topics are handled poorly and young people are exposed to very damaging material without proper education or understanding of real-life consequences. Similar to the sex ed crisis; when teenagers aren't given a proper explanation and education about impactful issues, they grow into uneducated and naive adults.

Does this show up in school?

Yes. yes, 1000%. I work as a TA for several of my professors and I tutor high school students.

I have noticed a resounding difference in reading and writing ability in the last five years.

When I was in the tenth grade, we read Animal Farm, To Kill a Mockingbird, and Ayn Rand. it was expected that you could reasonably explain and hypothesize about themes, real-life examples, and differences between old and new world priorities.

I have talked to students that don't know what a theme is. They cannot analyze more than spelling and grammar. The writing quality they test into basically plateaus at 9th grade. Most popular media is a 9th grade or younger reading level. This doesn't prompt people to advance their reading skills, because 'they don't have to.'

This terrifies me, because there are so many occupations that require advanced lexile levels and adults just aren't meeting standard.

A large part of this has to do with the internet.

DISCLAIMER 2

I am not bashing the internet. I love Google. The only thing I have to say is that google has changed the way we think. Before google was more than a learning device, usually you would find a dictionary or a thesaurus to look up definitions.

I am Gen Z (I'll be nineteen soon) and I was raised with a home computer, but my mom insisted I use the encyclopedias first. When you go through the process of looking up the letter, then the cross section, blah de blah, it creates a kind of 'deep processing' where you get the context, definition, and application of the word/subject you're looking up.

When you google a word/subject, it gives you a surface level summary and a definition. Hell, you don't even have to spell the word right, it'll do it for you.

This also creates the spelling issues of most adults. With autocorrect and voice-to-text, spelling isn't a priority. I think my grade is the last that even did spelling sheets.

This is scary, personally.

I think in the future, educated positions will be replaced with AI and most people will fill in the jobs that don't require more than a high school diploma. In America, some states don't require a Master's to teach.

I suppose medicine, technology, science etc would still advance if we had AI to do it for us, but I can't imagine living as a species without the ability to think maturely. The dependence on everything else would be disturbing.

anyway thanks for listening xox

[amynchan]

American high school A/B students, come here. I need to gently hold your face, give you a cozy blanket, and get you a hot cocoa. Then, I need to sit you down and talk with you.

You guys are working so, so, so damn hard. And a lot of you guys have extra curriculars on top of that. And you guys are recovering from the whole thing that Covid put you through, which was a really hard time to be an A/B student because you had to self-motivate to keep the grade even while your mental health went down the shitter. A lot of you guys have been taught to put your nose to the grindstone and work, and you do it well. You guys are working hard, and I see that.

And I have to tell you that school is failing you in a very, very, very important way.

I'm a college instructor. I also used to be that A/B student who put absolutely everything into her grades and sacrificed sleep, a social life, and at times money to get that degree to say that I was ready for the adult world. But now, I get you guys after high school has run you through, and the most, most, most important skill you could cultivate is one that isn't treasured a lot in high school, and it's one that thoroughly knocked me on my tail end when I got into college myself.

College requires you to test things for yourself. It requires you to ask "why." It requires you to think outside the box at times.

It requires you to troubleshoot a problem when one comes to you.

I have a lot of students who are earnestly doing their best, but at the first hiccup, they will stop. They won't ask why. They won't troubleshoot. They won't try to figure out what's wrong and how to either fix it or move around it. School has taught them to be scared of trying new things out and afraid to get the wrong answer lest you get punished severely.

I had a student who didn't know what setting to use in google docs to make a hanging indent. They didn't look it up, and they didn't start pushing buttons. Because of that, they lost about a day's worth of work in indecision.

I have another student who is doing research. They were so confused as to what [#] meant, and they didn't consider that the number referred to the numbered sources at the bottom. Why? Because they'd been taught to be afraid to be wrong, and they wanted me to figure out this new, complex problem instead just in case they couldn't figure it out themselves.

I have students who run into technological errors, as are common nowadays, and at the first sign of trouble, they frantically look around for someone else to tell them what to do.

Guys. You have got to bring troubleshooting back. When there is a problem, please poke around. Press buttons. Try things. Chances are, you won't break a website by poking around, and you won't break anything physical unless you very viscerally smash it on the ground. Getting stuck and needing to figure your own way out is not a failing on your end; its the honing of a very, very, very necessary skill.

You are an A/B student for a reason. Chances are, you want to make a name for yourself or make your parents proud. You want to be An Adult one day, respected and secure and loved. And I am telling you that, as an adult, people will look to you for answers that you may not always have. Right now, here, wherever you are, you need to start learning to troubleshoot. Don't just blindly follow directions anymore.

Start learning how to troubleshoot. Start learning to figure it out. Give yourself permission to try solutions, be okay if they don't work, and try again.

Your future self will thank you so, so, so much.

[tea-with-evan-and-me]

re: evan dating news

whoa, okay, i don't know what prompted the flurry of messages today but there's just no way for me to address each one individually, so i'm going to attempt to generally answer some of the common questions people are asking. i'll pin this post for a little while in hopes it will reach all those inquiring.

background: on friday, i received an anonymous message containing an instagram story saved as a highlight titled ''best vday EVAN'' which featured a man filming his roommate getting ready for a date, he says, with a celebrity. the woman was trying on different outfits to decide what to wear. according to the anon who sent it, they (anon) were already aware of evan and this woman's involvement and felt comfortable sending me a message, because the woman's roommate essentially outed them on his public page, which has a few thousand followers.

in the following days, the roommate of the woman in question posted several instagram stories about evan's appearance in ariana grande's music video/bopping to the song. it's also been discovered that the woman in the instagram story has mutual friends/acquaintances with evan on instagram.

this is all of the information i have presently, the only thing i have omitted is anyone's social media handle. i chose to delete my initial response to the ask that contained the link to the instagram account of the roommate and the woman alleged to be dating evan currently. please understand that after considering it, while it is technically ''public'' i can't in good faith leave identifying information up knowing that while the vast majority of you are lovely, level-headed people, i am unable to control where the information shared here spreads to or who sees it. there are troubled people who frequent this blog with severe boundary and mental health issues, who have stalked me personally on my own personal social media accounts in attempts to dox and harm me. considering the people involved are not public figures or celebrities who have chosen to share this aspect with the masses, i do not want to put them in a position where ''fans'' may harass and bother them. BUT.. this is a gossip blog. tea is what we're here for, so what i will do is share information if the story develops further and i have reason to believe any leads received are credible. remember, this is all speculation and not presented as fact.

so, with that said - anon who asked: yes, you are certainly allowed to share but i won't be posting any identifying information that could bring harm to anyone. feel free to message me anonymously or on a burner account should you feel comfortable that way.

[satanicsanity]

Wow, there's been.. A lot going on huh?

Hello my loves! I just wanted to come back around for just a moment, chat a little bit about what's happening with the Welcome-home Fandom! (and partially about why I've been gone longer than originally planned)

I might not explain all of this the best, I apologize in advance for that

In all honesty... This is an incredibly unfortunate rough-patch. The p3dophiles, the r34 art not getting tagged correctly, and quite a bit more.

It makes me very upset that such a wonderful Fandom has people that were in it.. that seem to be really dragging things down for everyone else. It all makes me feel very drained, unsafe, uncomfortable, and not really inspired to make content anymore currently. Many of my fellow mutuals are also taking a break from welcomehome, because of these circumstances.

And I try to separate those people causing trouble from the Welcome-home Fandom in general, and syntheticcharmva had mentioned about on their Twitter, because of course one's wrong doing should not reflect the ENTIRE Fandom... At least in my opinion. However there has been a lot of continuous unfortunate events that have taken place, making this all very... Messy and feel very unsafe. (hope that makes some sense and comes across correctly)

I deal with mental health issues as I've mentioned previously, which is why I decided to take a break in the first place due to the severity... But the current issues the Fandom seems to be facing, are not making me feel excited at all to get back into working again. To put in simple terms, it's putting me down even further and It's putting others down as well.

Do I plan on returning and doing more wally audios, and more, at some point?? Yes absolutely! And I have a lot of content on my Welcome-home au that's in the workshop, and looking at all the lovely requests you guys make, makes me very happy!

But now with what's happening with the Fandom and the trouble makers, (setting my own original reason for taking a break aside) Makes me very nervous to return. And my break might string on longer than I thought because of this... since my original reason for taking a break from tumblr... Is now not my only reason. If... That makes any sense at all.

All this to say... I do miss you all dearly, but I'm going to stay very quiet for a while until two things happen,

1. The Fandom cleans out from all that's happened/happening

2. My mental health is in a good enough state for me to continue

Is the entire welcome Fandom bad? Hell no, that's not at all what I'm trying to say at all! A lot of people in the Fandom are just trying to have fun, and they're amazing people! But there are people making things very uncomfortable (especially for minors, such as myself) and very messy. I don't know this all is.. A bit hard to describe and talk about so I apologize if I explain things improperly, or in a confusing way.

All on all... Things aren't great, and I'm going to stay away from posting for a bit longer until things improve for myself and for the Welcome-home community. I still do consider myself part of the Fandom and will show all the love and support I can, I just won't be posting for a bit longer, as I've been doing.

I am so so greatful for your guys support, kindness, and kind words I very much am <3 and I will return... But with everything going on I need more time as I no longer feel very safe or comfortable currently.

I hope you are all well and staying on the brighter side of things 💕💕💕 I dearly hope that things get... Better. Not perfect of course, (because no Fandom is) but.. better! Again thank you for the support and all of the encouragement, kind words, you peeps make me smile a lot! So thank you 💕

I cannot wait to see you all again, hopefully soon... Hopefully <3 Much love my Darlings

[trulytiredhermit]

Imagine the reader who is absolutely good at making motivational speeches at any given opportunity using various random words.

They also give love advice too and the yanderes follow them.

"No matter what Link, even if life is truly unfair sometimes, how life just gives you trouble in every step, without life, you wouldn't have met them, you wouldn't have met the person you've been gushing about since forever, life is beautiful sometimes, it's just that you don't see its full beauty when all you're ever focusing on are the negative parts of it, i assure you that beneath that not so wonderful history you have with life, is a wonderful and beautiful one, just because you're going through a hard time doesn't mean that you won't ever be able to move past it, you're wonderful and caring and beautiful Link, they will like you back, i promise."

That's what the reader says.

Listen to me, listen to me. Reader be dense af rn if they’re giving the Yandere’s love advice.

AND I AM HERE FOR IT!

Ugh, if Reader said that to ANY of the yanderes (well not Wind mind you, he do be a child) but they’re sweeping Reader of their feet and proclaiming their marriage for the whole world to hear.

And you KNOW the Links try to drop subtle hints when they ask for live advice.

“What kind of gift would you like?”

“What’s your favorite (thing)?”

“Well, what are some things that you’d do on a first date?”

“How would you want someone to ask to court you?”

Besides that though, Reader giving the best motivational speeches

(haha jokes on you ANY speech reader gives is the best. Reader could say “Fuck ‘em up and don’t die.” And the Chain would be applauding, giving Reader the standing ovation they deserve!)

But anyways, Reader boosts the groups moral and mental health instantly.

Any Link could be severely injured, just hear a speech from Reader and all of a sudden they’re getting up like they’ve just downed 12 red potions.

Hyrule would especially love the motivational speeches Reader gives.

I mean the poor dude has a lot of self-doubt and self-worth issues.

But don’t worry my man, Reader’s got you covered you funky little magic dude you.

Warriors thinks you’d make an amazing general/high ranking officer in the army. You’d be able to rally support and energize/motivate the troops and soldiers.

Though he’d never let you fight, ever.

Time certainly appreciates your speeches when the boys are having a hard time while on the journey.

You’re just able to light up the room like no other.

The Chain also makes it a common thing now in your guys daily routine.

[soaringwide]

What I do not read on

Decided to update what I'm do not agree to read on, to use this as a reference post for future use. As always, I am free to refuse a reading if it's in too much of a grey area and I don't feel comfortable doing so. If you've paid you'll be refunded, if it was free, well, I just won't do it and you'll be blocked if you complain or harass me.

How to book a reading with me

Health issues:

I refuse to read on severe health issues, or death related topics. General inquiry about improving you health and lifestyle is okay as long as you don't rely solely on this reading. Mental health is only okay if you're looking for additional support in conjunction to being followed by a professional.

Financial or legal issues:

These things are too serious to attempt a tarot reading on them. Go to you financial or legal advisor instead. It includes stocks, investments, gambling, lawsuits or legal trouble, and so on.

Future spouse, soulmates, twinflames, starseed

While I'm open to read about your existing love life or potential future relationships, I do not vibe with the above-mentioned concepts that are extremely new-age connoted, and no, it's not because I read tarot that I agree with these things. That just does not align with either my conception of how the future flows, or my personal cosmology and spiritual beliefs.

Reading on behalf of someone else

What I mean by that would be, for example, to ask what your mom should do in XYZ situation, or what you exe's love life is going to be like in the future, anything where you're not the focus of the reading. When inquiring about someone's influence on your life, it always has to come back to you because you are the one requesting the reading.

Celebrities and fictional characters:

Celebrities are under enough scrutiny without having to worry about internet stalkers praying on their energies, and as for fictional characters, I just find the idea very disconnected from reality, sorry not sorry.

Stalking and harm:

This should go without saying but if I sense that you have the intention of stalking or causing harm to someone, I will refuse your reading.

God(s):

I am not a guru nor a priest, therefore, I will not speak in the name of any deity or particular spirit. While I'm open to relay spiritual or magical messages, I will not name drop unprompted or ask a deity what they think about you. It's different for an existing relationship but we are in a grey area here so best would be to talk together about your query before the reading.

This may change at any moment if I realize I've forgotten something important or if my views have evolved.

Go back to masterlist

[bitterxalmonds]

In defense of Kat Eliot

After watching the movie and loving it, I was disappointed to see so many negative reviews of it. Although I agree with some of the critiques, like it being stuffed and cluttered, I was frustrated when people complained about Kat being unlikable and rude when 'everyone is soooo nice to her'. I'm like, did we watch the same movie??

First off, despite living in Africa, I'm a glow-in-the-dark cracker, but I was born with Aspergers, a form of high functioning autism, as well a truckload of mental health problems. I know my experiences of prejudice doesn't even compare to the experiences of POC, I have a family and access to medicine and psychiatric help others do not have, I am blatantly aware that if I was a poor, orphaned person of color I'd be in the same system as Kat and I am lucky I'm not. But my whole life I have been belittled and villainized by the school system. I was chewed up and spat out, and my point is that I AM ANGRY. And I have every right to be. I have an extreme distrust of authority figures and have little interest in making friends aside from online. Needless to say I have trust issues. Bottom line: I experienced prejudice and am pissed about it.

My suffering is completely different from Kat's but the end result is the same: I came out fuming.

Despite it not being her fault, she is left with extreme guilt as well as survivor's guilt and PTSD from her parent's death. What I love about this movie is that it explores not only the prejudice racial and queer minorities have to experience, but those with mental health issues as well. People say "Ooh, just because she experienced a tragic event doesn't mean she has to be ruuude." Kat didn't just experience a traumatic event, she was put in the worst place for a person with mental health issues, first in a shitty foster home, then in a school with bullies, then in jail. How did you expect her to act?

Even though she was angry, she was never cruel. There is a big difference between angry and cruel. She never tormented or bullied anyone out of enjoyment, and the only type of violent behavior she showed was when she was being defensive. I surprisingly tend to hate characters who use their hurt as an excuse to hurt others, but Kat isn't like that. Everything she does is defensive. She is used to being treated horribly.

Kat didn't experience just one trauma, but several. Upon arriving at a new school, she was tormented and bullied. I have heard way too many stories about children being bullied, the bullies not getting punished, then when the bullied kid strikes back, they get punished. Kat looked barely older than she was at the start of the film, but someone thought she was old enough to be PUT IN A CAGE. A traumatized orphan girl was put in a cage among juveniles who have already offended multiple times. She'd had to fight to survive and that only got her into more trouble.

One thing I picked up on, Kat's family HAD MONEY, her father owned this massive brewery and her brother draws attention to her box full of money for her library. I wholeheartedly believe her having that box was a Chekhov's gun moment. They weren't millionaires but were pretty well off. After their death, their money would have been put in a trust and someone would be appointed the administrator of that trust. In her flashback of her time at a foster home, we see an old crone with doller sighs for eyes, then later we see Father Bests eagerly accepting Kat (and her full tuition) into his school. This child has been treated like a walking money bag by adults her entire life. They take money that is rightfully hers and instead of spending it on her they use it for themselves.

LET. HER. BE. ANGRY!

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

WIBTA for inviting my cousin to an LGBT meet up?

Cw: mentions of suicide and transphobia

I (18M) am a trans man and my cousin N (21F) is a lesbian who is very masc presenting. We're the only queer cousins in the family (at least in our generation) so weve always been good friends and shes been one of the biggest supporters of my transition, defended me from bigoted family members and always corrected family when they used my deadname/old pronouns. I lowkey hoped she would come out as a trans man or nonbinary as well. We dress in the same style which makes it so when were hanging out together one of us is gonna get misgendered since people asume both of us are trans men or masc girls. When N is the one being misgendered she doesnt bother fighting it since its more trouble than its worth but looking back i think it really annoyed her.

Earlier this year N was severely struggling with her mental health. I apologize for the wording i may have since i dont know the proper terminology for this stuff or any specific disorder diagnosis she may have (other than autism). She was having some sort of manic or depressive episode. She was dead set on pushing people away and making them hate her so she could take her own life without regrets.

I visited N once to give her my support during a struggling time but i stupidly told her there was nothing she could say that would push me away. She told me not to test her but i kept pushing it and i admit what happened next was my fault. She told me in a very cold voice that she was a terf, though that she didnt want me dead but that "we" (im guessing she meant trans ppl) made it so much harder for her to exist(???????). I didnt let her keep talking just and left her room, said my goodbyes to her family and just cried while driving home.

Im still not sure if she meant it or if it was part of her mental episode and just a way for her to hurt me and push me away. On one hand ig it explains some of her behavior? N sometimes complained when she got asked for her pronouns or being misgendered like I mentioned before. On the other hand, I gen do not believe she has been a terf all along esp with how supportive shes been of me. If she was a terf youd think she would try to subtly talk me out of it, but that has never happened. My friends have nicknamed her schrodinger's terf lol

Anyway, i went no contact with N for a few months for my own wellbeing. During this time i heard that she tried to kill herself a few times, which got her into a mental hospital. She was given higher doses of meds and seems to be doing way better.

We had a family reunion this week and i decided to approach her. N seemed a little hesitant to talk to me but stayed polite. I tried testing her and talked about the effects T has been having on me but she acted like she always had and congratulated me and even complimented me on how deep my voice has gotten. I wasnt satisfied cause i wanted an apology for what she had said to me so i pushed it more. She did end up apologzing but it was a very surface level apology. At this point i didnt want to keep pushing in case it set her off again so i just took her apology (plus i wanted my best cousin back) and spent the rest of the day hanging out with her.

On the way home my mom said she was happy me and N had made up and that i should invite her to the lgbt club meetings Ive been going to this year. It seemed like a good idea to me, she lost a few friends during her episode and she could make more queer friends here. If N is trans and just in denial it could help her get the resources she needs to feel comfortable coning out. If N IS a terf maybe having more positive interactions with trans ppl could change her mind on it. Overall i thought it would be a win for her.

I brought it up to my friends and some of them blew up at me. Their argument was that itd be exposing the other trans ppl in the group to a terf and putting them in danger. I truly hadnt considered this angle so im kinda conflicted now. She had never felt like an unsafe person before and now that her episode is over she feels normal again. Even if she is a terf i dont think she could actually cause harm? I want N to get better but i dont want to put my trans friends at risk.

So tumblr, WIBTA for inviting N to my lgbt meet up?

What are these acronyms?

[shirefantasies]

Hello! I’m new to Tumblr, your blog was one of the first I found and followed! I was wondering if you could match/ship/pair me with an LotR character! Specifically LotR if you end up getting around to me, please!

I’m 5’3” with dark hair, though I keep it shaven in a buzz cut style. I’m pansexual, so you can ship me with anyone. I’m also autistic and possibly ADHD and OCD. Still learning about myself and trying to get diagnoses and people that understand me.

Moving on! I’m rather goofy! I’ve got a silly, meme-like side to me that I have trouble restraining. I’ll constantly see references to memes/obscure things I like everywhere and always point them out. I also make random noises and jokes that only those close to me will understand or be able to interpret the meaning of. I’m a good listener, and always try to help solve problems, though I may not be too good at getting the end result where it needs to be. Hahaha! I like to cuddle people, though I’m a little picky with touch because of sensory issues.

As for the other side of me, I am very paranoid, and have anxiety, severe depression, and PTSD, so it’s hard for me to trust people. I’m introverted, too. I always have been but ever since the trauma that caused my mental health issues I’ve become extremely introverted, almost in a comical way. I have some self-hate based behaviors towards myself that I’m working on unlearning. I constantly need reminded to take care of myself, and will have unexpected breakdowns, depression lows, or flashbacks. There are things or actions that will upset/trigger me that may need to be avoided. It’s rough but I still try my best to please everyone.

I hope that’s enough, if it’s not you can always contact me directly for more info or with questions! Thanks for considering!

Well that’s such an honor! Glad to be an early addition to your tumblr family 🥰 heck yeah you can have a lord of the rings character, and I hope you like being a hobbit because because I ship you with…

Pippin!

Sometimes it feels like no one understands him. So when Pippin hears tales of some far-off hermit, he feels a strange kinship with them immediately knowing only that they are the subject of talk, too. Maybe they’ve disappointed people with ways they cannot help, too. Pippin, though, could never run away from people- he loves them too much, enough to try again and again until he gets it right. He doesn’t know why he is the way he is, after all. He just is. Isn't everybody?

He gets lost one day, lost further out in the edges of the hills then he's been yet. Not quite far enough to be frightened, but just enough to see the waning of the hobbit-holes and the thinning of the Shire's green hills. It isn't until the sun descends that he truly gets concerned, rushing to the nearest hole he finds and ringing the bell dangling by its big round door. You answer, looking quite puzzled and not entirely unafraid of the stranger before you. What do you say? "Er, can I help you?" "Well," he begins, "I'm lost, you see. Can I trouble you to stay the night before I return to the road?" Silence overtakes you, ponderance, glances this way and that, before you finally nod and bid him entry. "You've not come to report to the others, have you now?" "I beg your pardon?" "Back in town. All the rumors. Part of why I avoid it, not that it helps them," you shake your head. That is when Pippin realizes he's found his kindred hermit, and you are nothing like he imagined. Contrary to the stories, he thinks there's something about you that looks...friendly.

"You're the-!" Barely resisting the urge to exclaim 'hermit', Pippin glances around your mostly quite normal hobbit hole. "Erm, I always wondered why they told all those stories." "Because they're a fat lot of gossips, that's why," you shoot back, shuffling through your kitchen, "they aren't exactly the champions of anyone who's...different." "That I know," Pippin responds with a nod, voice going a bit quiet. His words have you turning around, peering at him like you've only just seen him. "I see. Well, want anything?" In the end, you share some of your dinner with this stranger, who tells you his name is Peregrin Took, more frequently called Pippin. Pippin doesn't mock the sounds you make, in fact you notice that he seems to find himself mimicking them. As you go through the evening's motions, he doesn't seem to mind that you have your way of doing things. When something you see reminds you of a song you made up, you can't help but sing it, and soon Pippin is joining along. You even make up a song together. When he leaves, you find yourself saying something very uncharacteristic: "If you ever want to come back, well, I'll be here." Something in his smile, the way he nods, has you feeling strangely hopeful.

Come back he does, and sing more songs to and with you in that beautiful voice he does. You're ready for him to recoil, to pack up and leave you behind like everyone else does when he catches a nightmare turning to a breakdown, but as he peers in the doorway he simply asks if he can touch you, hold your hand or even you. When he stays, helps you with breakfast and cheers at your smile, twirling you across the kitchen, well, you can't help feeling a rare peace at your little paradise getting a bit bigger.

Taglist: @lokilover476 @fuckyoumakeart @mossthebogwitch @ibabblealot @kilibaggins @joonies-word @stormchaser819 @pirate-lord-of-narnia @datglutengoblin | Reply/Ask/Message to join 🥰

[skellymom]

Hi, Skelly! Really random question here but I think your honestly the best person to ask on this topic. This is non-Star Wars related btw. Feel free to ignore.

I have these neighbours who arent the best of people. They got a dog 2 years ago I believe, a Belgian Shepherd. Unsurprisingly, she barks a lot.

We don't think the owners are abusing her or not feeding her or anything, just not taking her for a lot of walks. It's their first dog (the mum, dad and two sons, to be exact, none have ever had a dog before) and obviously shouldn't have gotten a Belgian Shepherd when they have a smallish backyard.

I was wondering if there was something I - or my family - could do? None of us blame the dog, just the inexperienced-ness of the family.

You don't have to reply to this, as I know its out of pocket and not what you expect. Was just curious.

Have a great day/night!

~Jamie.

P.S. My puppy had a scare last year when she was only 2 and a half months or so and we had to go to ER for her. Geez, that place is stressful so my thanks to you and your workers everywhere!

Buckle up and get comfortable, I have A LOT to say on this issue:

(TRIGGER WARNING-I WORK VETERINARY ER AND THERE WILL BE MENTIONS OF DEATH AND OTHER DARK ASPECTS OF WHAT VET STAFF SEE IN THE FIELD. Consider yourself warned. I am ranting as a PSA and FYI for those not familiar but REALLY need to know what we do! If you feel brave PLEASE give it the time to read. Thanks!!!)

OHHH, I LOVE SHEPPIES!!! They are SO smarticle, sweet, energetic...and extremely spirited. However, they DEFINITELY need exercise. More importantly, they need mental stimulation. A several mile walk is great for the body, but not something everyone can do daily. Plus, these guys are brilliant (only second to the esteemed Border Collie) and their mind is like a hamster on a wheel. So, training, commands, tricks, agility courses and anything that requires not just exercise, but mental stimulation is top priority. These guys were bred to run and think on their feet. THEY NEED A JOB! They AT LEAST (and this is foundational) NEED TO BE WALKED DAILY!!! Every dog needs to be walked daily as this also helps with bone density, muscle strength, balance, cardiovascular function, etc. Same with humans. If you don't exercise, you can become depressed, overweight, brittle bones, diabetic, constipated, and a host of other health issues later in life that cost money to regulate and fix.

Most owners buy a dog as a companion, and these guys can be amazing ones. However they aren't your lazy Golden Retrievers or Greyhounds (while sporting class they do a burst of energy and lay around a lot normally). Unfortunately, dogs not given mental stimulation will show the following behaviors: excessive barking, destructive chewing, inappropriate urination/defecation, escaping out of the yard and getting in trouble/injured, misbehavior to commands, possible self injury, and unfortunately even aggression towards people and other animal housemates. A LOT of working/sporting dogs wind up in shelters and euthanized due to these behaviors when all they needed was regular exercise, training, and mental stimulation. A LOT of regular non sporting dogs do too.

In order to keep their dog, they need to include them as a true member of the family. Plan family activities with the dog. Can they run errands with a family member who might just want to do a ride along and the dog comes with to sit in the car when the person goes in. They can also research places that allow shoppers to bring their dogs into the facility: Home Depot, Lowes, Michaels, some downtown shops in their area might allow it. Shop for dog snacks/food and take the dog with them to pick it up as many pet stores allow dogs in their store. Heck we have restaurants and coffee shops that cater to outdoor dining patrons who bring their dogs...and the dogs get spoiled too.

If their dog is too rambunctious, then they DEFINITELY NEED TO SIGN UP AND GO TO DOG TRAINING CLASSES. ALL THE CLASSES, and more than just puppy training. Really, this should be foundational too. Every dog needs training. Again, get the whole family involved, because the dog (like children and adults) need consistency and everyone needs to know what to do when walking, interacting, and commanding "Sheppie" to behave like a Good Canine Citizen. There is a a right way to train and a horrible way to reinforce negative behaviors in a canine. EVERYONE needs to put in the work. Everyone needs to feed the dog, fill it's water bowl, pick up the poop, and walk the dog. Everyone needs to play and pet the poochie. That's why you get a dog!

The family needs to do some honest soul searching to figure out if this dog and breed REALLY fits with their family dynamic. If not, they the dog should go back to the rescue or shelter (many shelters have a return clause in their paperwork that says they MUST return the dog to them. It's for safety reasons) or find a RESPONSIBLE new owner to adopt "Sheppie". There are rescues, shelters, and fosters online. Again, they took on the responsibility and they need to do their due diligence to find a good home for this living breathing animal.

Let me also debunk a horrible myth that still circulates: REHOMING YOUR ANIMAL IS NOT WRONG IF YOU CANNOT TAKE CARE OF OR PROVIDE FOR IT! Screaming it for the people in the back!!! I have been working in the vet field for over 8 years (general practice, shelter med, emergency, high volume TNR) and have seen some horrendous shit when people keep an animal that they no longer wish to interact with. It can be mild contempt for the perceived burden to downright neglect and abuse. Also, I have seen family members and household pets in danger or actually mauled from dogs that people refused to put more money/couldn't afford/didn't have time for training that kept/refused to rehome to a place with no children/no pets/etc. And, understandably, many of these people LOVED that dog and kept trying to fix the situation. But sometimes you cannot, and the aggression, destruction, ingestion of foreign objects (we have frequent visitors to my ER that have foreign body surgeries due to anxiety chewing/swallowing-some end as euthanasia's). I have had owner's come in with animals that needed to be euthanized for aggression due to high drive, with their housemate mauled, and the owner mauled and bleeding (trying to pull them apart)-all of them showing up together. We have had bored dogs jump the fence to find something interesting to do and get hung up on it, needing emergency surgery. We have had them run out into the street and hit by cars. These things happen to all dogs that require someone to tend to their needs EVERY DAY!

I had to rehome a Dutch Shepherd that we took on as a foster (from a not good situation-putting it mildly) when she tried to maul my elderly German Shepherds (and that was with daily walks, daily at home training, professional training, and veterinary medical evaluations), we found a rescue that deals with security/military breeds to take her to. Sometimes the animal you choose to have in your home may NOT FIT WITH YOUR FAMILY. It happens.

So, you asked what you can do? First, thank you for caring and wanting to do something. Second, you can print out information on local dog training places, agility, and specific breed information (Belgian Shepherds include: Malinois, Turveren, Laekenois, and Groenendael, so tailor it to what their dog is), and anything else you can think of to offer to the owner. Try to approach it as helping and not frustration. HOWEVER, I will warn you now that sometimes people are not open to outside help and will not take this positively. Even people seeking out medical veterinary help can get defensive when we try to help them. Unfortunately, nice people who take on a high drive/high energy breed for their first dog are unaware of the huge responsibility they have. And, not demonizing here, but they buy the dog with the ideal they have for themselves and forget this animal has needs and is languishing without proper care...even a mental/physical outlet. And from what I have seen, this is an epidemic. For those reading this: if you feel you have to "come at me" go volunteer at a shelter/rescue or go have a heart to heart discussion with ANY veterinary professional. If someone was entrusted as your guardian with the responsibility of your mental healthcare and didn't see to your mental health needs and you had no outlet, how would you feel?

Actually...that is happening now in epidemic proportions. It sucks, right???

I wish you luck @fionajames . It's NEVER bad to reach out and attempt to help. At least you tried and I LOVE YOU FOR IT!

[aspartaime]

I'm in a mood tonight so if anyone who i have ever known see this, let's read further. This is truly so stream of conscious. It's just a general life update.

CW: drug use, mental health themes, emotional?? idk it was to me, SA

My friends on this site, I know we've been out of contact for years. I have been in a season of life where I am extremely sentimental. I look back on my friends I made here/friends I have IRL that also followed me here, and it makes my heart swell.

I was going through some severe mental issues when I was on Tumblr regularly. I've since pinned it down to "being a chronically online, easily influence teenager". There were a lot of things either glorified, justified, and normalized on Tumblr that messed up my nerf ball brain. I was not a great friend because of it. I realize in hindsight as an adult whose brain is less nerf-bally that the lot of you who cared about me must have really cared about me to stick with me through that shit show. This is my formal apology in the least direct or awkward way for my behavior. Know that I love you all and pray your lives are full of home cooked meals and laughter and peaceful Sunday mornings.

Since my PTSD diagnosis I have done a lot of making sense of old memories. My life from age 13 through age 17 is such a blur. My girlfriend doesn't know what to say when I bring it up. You all would love my girlfriend, by the way. We live together now. She's the light of my life. She makes things worth remembering again.

I finally stopped acting like a doormat. My constant need for validation that I experienced in my youth has become a mildly nihilistic disposition. But like, the cool nihilism, where nothing matters so everything is super chill. I realized it doesn't matter if I don't like someone or someone doesn't like me, we all have different preferences and needs and all. I dunno. It's kind of nice to be free of clingy baby hell. I'm attributing that to the PTSD diagnosis as well.

I got into weed. This is not a surprise to anyone who have ever had a conversation with me, I'm sure. I started smoking to take the nightmares away. Then it became just a normal part of my day. I don't abuse it though. I just find that it helps keep my head quiet.

I got in a lot of fights along the way. It's kind of funny. This last fight was really my tipping point into my "go-with-the-flow" phase. Given it was the third (or possibly even fourth? PTSD makes it difficult to care about keeping track) I was sexually assaulted, I just had to make a decision then and there I was done caring. It also reinforced my belief that people who go through hard stuff have a flashing sign over their heads that tell other predators this isn't their first rodeo. At least it felt that way to me. I digress. This person was my best friend, allegedly, and it just blew up on me.

Anyways. All that negative aside I have been doing better than I ever have. My mental health is taken care of. I stimulate my brain and challenge myself with my three jobs, LOL. It keeps e out of trouble. I am with the most darling woman I've ever met. She saved me. My two cats are my prides and joys. I'm in a longplay of the Sims 4 right now.

I sign off on this post by requesting:

If you knew me and took the time to read this, I care for you always. Thank you for helping me get to where I am now, getting me through the hardest years of my life when I was also constantly using this site, and teaching me so much about true friendship. You guys rule.