#i just had to reminiscence for a little while

[jinhyun]

—in your hands.

pairing: hwang hyunjin x reader

genre: fluff, best friend’s little brother au, friends to lovers

word count: 7.2k

summary: after a love confession and a few kisses took place the night before, it was finally time for you and Hyunjin to calmly talk things out and figure out where you were currently standing.

author’s note: here she is!! there is a lotttttt of talking and dialogue in this part, i feel like i should apologise lol. but anyway, the lovebirds needed to talk and, oh boy, talk they did. as always i hope you guys enjoy! if you do, please let me know by leaving an ask or a comment<3

You’d woken up next to Hyunjin once before in your life; a little over a month before, when the two of you passed out on your couch on New Year’s and ended up cuddling through the night somehow.

You remembered opening your eyes and panicking when you realised your face was resting on his chest and his arms were loosely wrapped around you.

You didn’t want to move away and wake him up back then, but, at the same time, you didn’t want him to potentially feel uncomfortable if he woke up and found out the current position you were in. So, in the end, after some careful consideration, you did what seemed like the right thing to do: pull away from him and sit up on the couch, which inevitably resulted in him waking up as well and understanding what was going on right away.

This time, it was different.

Yes, you were once again met by his chest as soon as you opened your eyes, and his arms were one more time around you — although tightly this time, keeping you from pulling away from him through the night. However, this time you didn’t panic, but smiled instead.

Managing to pull away from him just enough to be on his eye level, you stared at his relaxed, beautiful features. From his thick eyebrows and closed eyelids, to his round nose, to those plump lips of his you’d got to kiss the night before.

You felt your cheeks burn at the still fresh memory. Although flustered by it, you couldn’t help but reminisce how good his mouth felt on yours, how hard your heart was pounding against your chest, and how you wished he’d kissed you for a little longer.

Freeing one of your arms from his hold, you reached your hand up to tenderly remove a strand of hair that was covering his eyes and tickling the bridge of his nose — then just leaving your hand there for a little longer, as your fingertips faintly traced his skin while you quietly admired him.

A part of you couldn’t believe he had been there for you all this time and you were only now noticing him. He was without a doubt the most beautiful man you had ever laid your eyes on, but you didn’t feel any sort of attraction to him up until this year. And now that you did, now that you got to feel his lips on yours and see a side of him you never thought you would, you wondered how come it took you this long to see him in a different light.

Pressing a gentle kiss to his forehead —and smiling to yourself when you watched the corners of his mouth curve up at the lingering contact—, you somehow went out of your way to remove his arms from your figure without waking him up.

You weren’t expecting him to come over last night, and you most definitely weren’t expecting him to spend the night; therefore, you had not restocked your groceries and were left with nothing to offer him for breakfast.

You made sure he was truly not waking up any time soon before you got off the bed and chose a rather cozy outfit for the day, so you could go to the bathroom and get ready to go to the grocery store around the corner while he got some more sleep.

You should’ve known better than to actually believe he would get another hour or two of sleep after you left his side, because not even two minutes into the store, your phone was buzzing in your pocket and his contact was showing up on the screen.

“Hey, you’re up” you greeted sweetly after taking the call.

“I didn’t take you for the kiss and dip type” he hoarsely called you out, regardless of the smile you could hear curving up his lips.

“No hello?” You joked. “How are you?”

“You’re the one who abandoned me, you don’t get to call me out”.

You chuckled at his over dramatic ways. “You’re literally at my place, it doesn’t work like that”.

“Well, you’re not in bed with me, so…”

“I thought of staying in bed for a while, but then I realised I was out of food” you explained. “I came to the grocery store around the corner, won’t take long”.

He whined. “We could’ve gone together later”.

“You looked so peaceful, I didn’t want to wake you up” you pouted. “Besides, I didn’t think you’d wake up before I came back. I’ll be there in ten, okay?”

“Okay…” he mumbled, and you heard him shift in your bed. “Or better yet, make it five”.

“I’m still missing half of the things I need to get” you amusedly informed him, going over to check a pack of eggs. “Is there anything you’d like for breakfast?”

“You”.

You stopped in your tracks the moment that simple yet bold answer abandoned his lips, being too stunned to come up with a witty answer like you usually would.

You were still getting used to his newfound boldness, but you would lie to yourself if you said you didn’t enjoy the butterflies flying around your stomach whenever he said something like that.

A breathy laugh of his was heard on the other side of the line the next second, when you remained silent and it hit him just how flustered he’d make you.

“Are you still drunk?” You were unable to hide both your amusement and disbelief.

“No,” he chuckled. “I didn’t mean it like that”.

He did.

“You didn’t now?” You cocked an eyebrow.

“Can you come back already?” He changed the topic, earning a light laugh from you. “I just wanna be with you, I’m not even hungry”.

“You still need to eat something, though” you argued. “Like I said, I’ll be there in ten”.

“Too long” he let out a heavy sigh.

“You can go back to sleep in the meantime” you suggested. “Or make yourself some coffee, you know where everything is”.

“Yeah, that sounds good” he hummed. “I'll freshen up a bit first”.

“There are towels on the upper shelf of my closet, in case you’d like to take a shower” you let him know. “There should also be a spare toothbrush you can use in the second drawer of my bathroom”.

He laughed lightly, rather dreamily, but ultimately said nothing.

“What…”

“Nothing, you’re cute” he said softly. “Come back here already”.

“I would go back faster if we stopped talking, honestly” you chuckled. “You’re kinda keeping me distracted right now”.

“Okay, I’m hanging up then. Don’t take too long”.

Looking at your screen when you heard him hang up on you, you rolled your eyes in amusement, laughing to yourself over how silly he was before you shoved your phone into your pocket and focused back on the eggs you’d been previously checking out.

The faster you got everything on your list, the faster you’d be back at yours with Hyunjin.

-—-—-—-—-—-—-—-—-—-—-♡

Being driven by seeing him again, you were entering your place again not even ten minutes later, carrying the groceries you had rushed to get.

You didn’t even have to announce that you were back, for Hyunjin came out of your bedroom right as you began to change into your slippers by the door.

You were greatly surprised by the sight of him in sweatpants and a black tank top that let you appreciate his toned arms, unlike the matching sweatshirt he’d worn last night. You guessed the tank top had been underneath it all along, and you were only now lucky enough to see it thanks to the hot shower he must’ve taken not long ago, since he was drying his hair with one of your towels right then.

“Hey…” you greeted him, feeling your cheeks burn when his eyes locked with yours; as you were once again invaded with memories of his pretty lips on yours the night before.

“Hey,” he smiled sweetly, visibly lighting up at the sight of you.

Without another word, he hung the towel on the back of your couch and went up to you, so he could pull you to his chest and feel you close like he had been craving since the moment he woke up and realised you weren’t next to him.

A loving sigh abandoned your lips when you felt his arms securely wrap around you, being hit with the realisation that you had also missed him those few minutes you’d been away from him.

Carefully dropping the bags you were holding on the floor, you wrapped your arms around him as well, feeling him relax under your touch and then lower his head so he could nuzzle the crook of your neck.

You jumped at the contact of his wet hair against your skin, earning light laughs from both of you.

“How’d you sleep?” You asked him softly.

Although you couldn’t see him, you could feel the way he smiled against you. “Better than ever”.

You chuckled, pulling him away by his shoulders and taking a careful look at him before you tenderly ran a hand through his damp locks. “No hangover?”

“Nope,” he shook his head. “Just thirsty”.

His remark got a laugh from you. “I figured you would be, so I brought you some isotonic water… as well as some medicine, just in case”.

He smiled brightly, not even needing to say ‘thank you’ for you to get the memo. Although he did say it anyway, in the softest of tones, that only you got to hear coming from him.

He swore to God he felt like marrying you right then and there every single time you looked after him like that.

“Are you hungry?” You interrupted his sudden fantasy, but still all he could focus on was the way your hand travelled down from his hair to his nape. “I’ll go make us some breakfast now”.

“I’ll help you” he offered, leaning down to pick up the bags you had left on the floor a minute ago.

“It’s okay, you can go rest a bit more” you followed him into your kitchen.

“No, I want to be with you” he said truthfully, placing the bags on the counter.

You let out an over dramatic sigh as you went to the cabinet to grab a pan, in order to get started with breakfast,. “I made sure to be extra quiet this morning so you’d sleep until breakfast was ready…”

He chuckled, going over to you and hugging you from behind. “If you wanted me to get some more sleep, then you shouldn’t have left me all alone to freeze in your ice cold bed”.

“My bed is not cold at all, you drama queen” you called him out.

“Okay, maybe I overdid it a little,” he admitted, resting his chin on your shoulder and looking up at you. “Next time just stay in bed with me, hm? I’ll take you out for breakfast after cuddling for a little longer”.

“Next time?” You cocked an eyebrow, looking down at him like you weren’t just melting at his way with words.

“Well, I already have my own toothbrush in your bathroom, so…”

“Oh, yeah, that certainly grants you free will to stay over whenever you want” you amusedly rolled your eyes.

“I mean, I wouldn’t mind holding you all night long again”.

You bit your lip, feeling your heart squeeze in your chest and silently looking down for a moment before you turned around, having his hands go right back to your waist as your eyes locked with his.

Since he’d brought the previous night up, it felt like the opening you needed to talk about the things that were left unsaid.

“What happened last night…” you fidgeted with the paws of your sweater, catching his attention while you looked for the right words and earned enough courage to look up at him. “You meant it?”

“I meant everything I said, Y/N” he answered in a heartbeat. “I meant kissing you as well, I thought I made it very clear?”

“No, yeah, you did” you agreed, nervously looking down once again. “It’s just that you had been drinking and you did say once that you tend to get quite touchy when you’re like that, so… I guess I just wanted to hear it again now that you’re sober”.

“Well, I’m telling you again now, Y/N,” he gently tilted your head up, making you look at him again. “I love you”.

Just like the night before, your heart skipped a beat.

“I know you might not want to hear that right now, but I do. And, like I told you, kissing you meant the world to me. The alcohol only helped me to finally let out what I’d been bottling up for ages, so… I really did mean everything last night”.

You believed him when he said it the first time last night, but hearing him say that now, staring into your eyes when you knew he was in all his senses, could only make your heart hurt in the best of ways.

“Did you mean what happened last night?” It was his turn to ask.

He sounded almost scared of your possible answer, but you nodded the next second, and he felt like he could breathe again.

“I like you, Hyunjin. As in, I do feel something for you” you confessed, unaware of what your words had just done to his heart. “But, like I said, I’m not ready—I just… I only very recently realised it, so I’m still trying to figure out the extent of my feelings for you. Honestly, had it not been for Chan, I probably still wouldn’t have realised any of it until your confession”.

“Chan?” He asked.

“Mhm…” you nodded. “He kinda opened my eyes after your parents invited us for lunch the other week, I was convinced you were only being friendly until then”.

“So I really owe him a big one, huh?” He laughed under his breath, stealing a small laugh from you as well. “I was flirting so hard with you, Y/N, I still don’t get how you didn’t notice”.

“I don’t know, I just… I wasn’t looking for romance anywhere; and you have always been so lovely with me, only that now you were getting bolder, but… other than that there wasn’t much difference, I thought you were being friendly”.

“There’s a reason why I’ve always been so lovely to you, though” he pointed out. “You’re the only one I treat like that, it was never me just being friendly…”

“What do you mean?” You frowned.

“You know what I mean” he smiled timidly.

You remained silent for a moment, staring at him in an attempt to confirm what you were thinking. “How long have you…”

“Over six years now?” He tilted his head, understanding what you meant even when you didn’t finish your sentence. “Going on seven”.

“Hyunie, that’s…”

“Insane?” He completed for you with a nervous chuckle. “Yeah…”

You shook your head no, having trouble taking this new bit of information in. “I was in a relationship for four of those years…”

“I know,” he nodded. “Hurt like hell”.

You fell silent, taking in this new piece of information and being hit with all the times Mingyu complained about Hyunjin and how clearly in love he was with you.

You always brushed it off and told him to open his eyes, for Hyunjin was only Yeji’s little brother and, therefore, he saw you as a sister figure as well. You were now discovering that the one who needed to open her eyes were you.

You never suspected a thing. When you recently met, you thought he was shy around everyone. Then when you were comfortable enough around each other, you thought he was that kind to everyone. You thought he cared about everyone, he wanted to help everyone, he was friendly to everyone.

Turned out neither did he treat everyone like that, nor was he being friendly with you all along. It just came off like that to you, because you never expected him to have feelings for you.

However, looking back to all those times now, you were still unable to see the signs. You were unable to pinpoint when it all had started, as the only change in his behavior —and in your relationship as a whole— you perceived had been this year. He had always acted the same around you ever since you met, and you couldn’t help but wonder if you had at some point done something for him to get the wrong idea and change the way he saw you.

“Hyunie, I’m so sorry, I didn’t know” you apologised. “When did you even—Did I mislead you at some point?”

“You didn’t. It was all on me, trust me” he smiled bittersweetly.

“Honestly?” You pushed it.

“Mhm… honestly” he reassured you, holding your hands in his and rubbing his thumbs on the back of them, as if wanting to comfort you over what he was about to say. “Remember when you stayed with us that weekend when something went down at your dorm?”

“The time we met?” You asked.

He nodded. “That’s when I fell for you. I just saw you enter the room and that was it for me”.

There it was, the reason why you never felt a switch in the way he acted around you; why you couldn’t tell the difference between his kindness and his romantic interest towards you.

He had fallen for you the first time he saw you, and you had gotten that version of him since the beginning — when he was too young for you to look at him with other eyes, and even for you to ever suspect he felt anything other than simple platonic affection for you.

You hurt for him. He had loved you all these years and you had not once given the way he treated you a second thought until last month. How could you have been so blind?

“You’re serious?” You murmured.

“I’m always serious when it comes to you” he gently caressed your chin.

“I’m so sorry, Hyunie. I had no idea, I feel awful…”

“Don’t,” he stopped you. “It’s not your fault, Y/N. All you did was show up and I took it from there”.

“Still, if only I had known…”

“It wouldn’t have changed anything. I was a minor back then; and when I wasn’t anymore, although we did grow closer for a while there, you fell in love with Mingyu”.

You felt like crying. You knew what it was for the person you loved to fall for someone else, and you couldn’t believe you were the one to make him experience that sort of heartbreak.

“I’m so sorry…” you apologised one more time.

No matter how many times you said it, it didn’t feel like enough.

“Baby, it wasn’t your fault” he reassured you once more — the pet name he’d called you last night slipping through his tongue yet again, and somehow managing to put your heart at ease whilst simultaneously making it go wild.

“When we got close back in your first year of uni, like you just mentioned… you were…” your sentence was left unfinished, but he nodded, understanding what you were trying to ask. You closed your eyes to compose yourself at his silent confirmation. “And then I started dating Mingyu and distanced myself from you…”

“What else were you supposed to do?” He tried to comfort you, and you couldn’t help but internally laugh at the irony of it. He was trying to comfort you over breaking his heart back then. You could truly cry right then. “You didn’t see me like that and fell for him, it wasn’t something you could control”.

“I would’ve been more lowkey about my relationship with him, though…” you mumbled. “Wouldn’t have mentioned him in your presence. Definitely wouldn’t have brought him along the times I knew you’d be there”.

“Now that would’ve brought you so much trouble with him…” he smiled softly. “He wasn’t precisely my biggest fan, was he?”

“Yeah… you’re right” you mumbled. It wouldn’t have been an easy situation to handle. “Still, I would’ve been more mindful about it”.

“You’re so cute” he appreciated the sentiment. “You wouldn’t have been able to keep it going on forever, though. I mean, it’s been over six years and I was nowhere near getting over you when you guys broke up”.

“You had two girlfriends, though…”

“And there’s a reason it didn’t work out with any of them” he shamefully pointed out.

“I don’t know what to say…” you shook your head. “I don’t wanna hurt you anymore, Hyunjin”.

“Why would you hurt me now?”

“My feelings for you are so recent, I don’t want us to… rush into something while I haven’t figured out the extent to them. Then there’s also the whole thing with Mingyu, because although I like to believe I’ve moved on, it did still sting when I saw him kiss Hayun only a couple of weeks ago… and I told you so” you suddenly felt guilty; had you known he had feelings for you back then, you would never have bothered him with your ‘ex boyfriend drama’. “I don’t know if it stung because of him or because the situation is just shitty, so I don’t know if I’m fully over him yet, and when you and I are together I want to be one hundred percent devoted to you”.

Hyunjin smiled.

‘When you and I are together’.

‘Devoted to you’.

That sentence alone was enough for him not to dwell on your residual feelings for your ex.

Even if it was unconsciously, the way you had phrased it let him know you wanted to be with him at some point.

He couldn’t wait for that day to come, when you were as devoted to him as he was to you.

“And now there’s the situation with Dahye as well…”

“I thought we cleared that up last night?” He questioningly tilted his head.

“We did, but that’s not the point…”

“What’s the point then?”

“I was left with a lot of trust issues to deal with…” you explained. “I know you’re not like him, but I can’t help but be paranoid when it comes to other girls or to you simply getting tired of me at some point”.

“Y/N, I would never do any of those things” he reassured you. “I would never do anything to hurt you”.

You smiled weakly. You believed him, you really did; but that was what he said now given what he felt for you in the present. Nothing could assure you that he would always love you, and so you would have to just take the risk and leave your heart in his hands if you wanted to be with him. That was what terrified you.

“I want to be with you, Hyunie, but I’m just too scared of love and romance right now…” you timidly admitted. “And when Dahye told me all those lies, although it did sound very off to me, a part of me couldn’t help but be scared that maybe she wasn’t lying”.

“So a part of you believed her…”

“I’m sorry…” you apologised. “The way she described you didn’t sound like you, not the way I see you, at least. And it didn’t match what you told me about your relationship with her, but I thought… we weren’t together, so you didn’t really have to tell me the truth, or even the whole story… you were free t—you are free to be with whoever you want and don’t owe me any explanations, so…”

“I only want to be with you, though” he cupped your face, telling you exactly what you needed so badly to hear. “And I guess you could say I don’t owe you explanations, but I want to give them to you. I like to believe we’d both explain something that’s bothering the other”.

You weakly nodded. “I’d like to believe that, too”.

Hyunjin smiled, pressing a lingering kiss to your forehead before his hands were firmly placed on your waist and he lifted you up with ease.

“Okay now,” he sat you down on the kitchen counter, pulling you closer to the edge of it and resting his hands on your waist. “What exactly did she tell you?”

“It didn’t make much sense,” you fidgeted with the necklace falling over his chest. “But it was pretty much that I should stay away from you because you guys had this ‘fuck buddies’ relationship going on for years now, and that even if you got in a relationship with someone else, you’d go back to her every time”.

Hyunjin sighed, growing visibly angry at both Dahye and the situation itself.

He told her not to mess with you, and she did exactly that. Still, he didn’t believe she would go as far as to come up with a whole fantasy of them being sexually —and emotionally?— involved in order to keep you away from him.

He didn’t know what else she was capable of after this, and he most certainly didn’t want to find out, nor did he want to even give her the chance to mess around with your relationship one more time.

“What are you doing?” You asked when he dug his hand in his pocket and took out his phone.

“Blocking her” he simply replied as he unlocked it.

“Hyunjin, you don’t have to—”

“I told her I would block her if she messed with you,” he let you know, locking his determined eyes with yours. “And that’s what she did, so…”

Eyes going back down to his mobile, he went to their Twitter chat and then pressed on her profile — blocking her right before your eyes without even giving it a second thought.

Maybe he should’ve given her a piece of his mind before cutting her off, and a part of him really wanted to tell her a thing or two, but at this point he just couldn’t give a fuck.

He was tired.

He could’ve lost you because of her, and he was never forgiving her for it.

If hanging out with his friends became awkward after this or he straight up had to turn them down not to run into her, then so be it. They were his friends, not hers; and God knows he was tired of having to deal with her whenever he wanted to spend some time with them.

“I already told you last night, but she lied. She made it all up” he repeated what he’d already let you know. “There isn’t much more to the story than what I’ve told you. We kissed at a party like two years ago, I was drunk, didn’t remember, told her it meant nothing, and she hasn’t left me alone since. That’s literally all there is to it” his genuine words were enough to put both your heart and mind at ease. “We’re were never even friends, the only reason I put up with her for so long was not to make it awkward for my friends. We were never fuck buddies either; I’ve never had that kind of dynamic with anyone, actually. And me going back to her is ridiculous, the only person I’d keep going back to over and over is you, which is kinda what happened both times I tried to move on with someone else, as shitty of me as it was”.

With that said, he handed you his phone.

Looking down at it, you realised he had opened back his chat with Dahye, which was now showing a message at the bottom that let you know her contact had successfully been blocked.

“What is it?” You asked regardless, hesitant to take a look and let alone to hold his phone in your hands.

“Our chat. She doesn’t even have my phone number, Y/N. That’s how close we are” his sarcasm managed to get a smile out of you. “You can read our texts if you want. The last conversation is the most important one, but you can go through all of them if you want”.

Taking one look at his phone in his hand, you refused his offer. “It’s okay, Hyunie. I trust you”.

And for you to say that when you had just let him know how hard it was for you to put your trust in someone else again a minute ago, meant the world to him.

“This isn’t a matter of whether you trust me or not, though. If it helps your mind feel more at peace then I have no problem showing it to you”.

“Your chats are private, I shouldn’t—”

“There’s nothing private between me and Dahye” he clarified in a heartbeat, speaking clear enough to make sure his words got through your head. “The last time we talked she found out I was in love with you and threatened me with telling you. That’s why I misunderstood everything last night”.

“That’s why you thought I was turning you down?” Your heart hurt for him once more, as it seemed to be usual for you to unintentionally break his heart.

He nodded, leaving his phone next to you on the counter. “I thought she told you about my feelings for you, and that you were distancing yourself from me because you didn’t feel the same and were thinking of the right way to let me down easily. And then when you said you wouldn’t be able to let yourself fall for me if what she said was true, I just…”

He shrugged, looking elsewhere as he remembered how unbearable the pain in his heart had been last night.

Catching on his hurt, you pulled him to your chest, feeling him relax inside your arms before he tightly wrapped his own around you as well.

“I took some distance because I didn’t want to jump into conclusions and needed some time to think…” you clarified.

“I know that now, baby” he hummed.

You smiled softly, holding him tighter and planting a small kiss on the crown of his head.

“I’m sorry I put you through so much”.

“It’s okay” he kissed your shoulder, going back to your eye level. “Anyway, if you change your mind later on, my password is my birthday as well”.

“Oh, so you’re just as basic as me” you smiled widely, allowing a small giggle to escape your mouth when he rolled his eyes at you.

“I don’t have it as the passcode to my place though, now that’s just unsafe as hell” he taunted you, pulling you closer to him and nuzzling your neck. “Although I might change it to yesterday’s date now”.

“The day you got drunk and disrupted my very peaceful sleep?” You teased him.

“Oh, absolutely” he played along, tucking a strand of hair behind your ear. “Which also happened to be the night we first kissed, so…”

He could feel your cheek burn against his hand, and how your eyes had naturally fixed on his mouth at the sound of that, just like his eyes had been going back to your lips throughout your entire conversation.

He was dying to kiss you again, and he could only curse the promise he made last night not to kiss you again starting this morning. At least not until you decided you were ready to kiss him without feeling like you were leading him on.

“You’re making it really hard for me not to fall for you…” you whispered against his lips, only then having him snap out of it and realise how close he had unconsciously leaned in.

Fuck, you were making it so hard for him not to kiss you.

“That’s good, because I want to make you fall for me” he smiled, tracing your bottom lip with his thumb, in a poor attempt to put some distance in between your mouths. “Will you let me?”

“Let you what?”

“Make you fall for me?” He asked, locking eyes with you. “I know you need to figure things out, and I’m giving you all the time you need, but in the meantime can I just try and make you fall for me?”

You hesitated. “I don’t want to lead you on, Hyunie…”

“I wouldn’t mind it, though…”

“Hyun…” you sighed.

“We kissed last night, Y/N, and now you’re telling me you do feel something for me. How would that be considered leading me on when there is an actual chance of you falling in love with me, too?”

“I thought your feelings for me were kinda recent too, and that we were both figuring it out, but now that I know you’re in love with me it feels cruel to keep flirting with you and treating you the way I did…” you went back to fidgeting with his necklace. “We’re not on the same level yet. I’m still scared to love someone again and to be in a relationship… there’s still a mess in my head and dragging you with me while I try to figure it out is just…”

“My heart is already in your hands, Y/N. It’s up to you what you choose to do with it and I’ll respect your final decision regardless of what it is” he promised. “Whether we’re together or not, I already got dragged into this. All I’m asking for is a chance. Just one chance to show you that you can trust me and that love doesn’t always have to end in heartbreak” the softness of his voice could make you cave in right then and there. “I can love you right, Y/N. You won’t owe me anything and will have all the time you want to figure your feelings out, but please, just don’t let us lose how far we’ve come. I can’t pretend nothing happened between us and stay away from you while you figure your heart out”.

“Hyunie…”

“Please?” He whispered, resting his forehead on yours and tenderly rubbing his thumbs on your sides. “Was today supposed to be some kind of farewell to the way we’ve been acting so far then?”

You pouted, realising then how selfish you were being by acting so lovey dovey with him when you were claiming not to want to lead him on.

Truth was, you were finding it hard to control yourself around him anymore. You wanted to take it slow and make things right with him — you owed him that much. But then again, and most importantly, you wanted to be with him. Even though your feelings were recent, they were taking over your entire being faster than you’d expected.

You wanted to be with him. Whether you were a couple or not, whether you were on the same level when it came to your feelings or not, you wanted to show him how much he meant to you and you wanted to feel how much you meant to him; and it was getting harder and harder for you to hold back when you were together.

Your heart and your mind were at conflict, for the first was telling you to risk it all while the latter warned you to be careful and not to rush into anything.

And in the end, although you wished it wasn’t like that and you knew it was selfish of you, you were already in too deep to take a step back from him while you figured everything out.

When you wouldn’t reply, being too immersed in your internal conflict, Hyunjin faintly brushed his nose with yours, unable to keep his eyes from going down to your mouth before they travelled back to your eyes. “Are we really supposed not to be like this anymore?”

“Now how can’t I give in when you look at me like that and say all those things?” You spoke quietly, sounding almost ashamed you’d given in that easily — and, to some extent, you were.

His lips parted into a beaming smile that turned his eyes into crescent moons. “Is that a yes then?”

“Yes,” you smiled as well, faintly tilting your head to lovingly bump his nose with yours. “We can take it slow, maybe? If you’re up for it…”

“We can take it however you want,” he was quick to reply, earning a light laugh from you. “Although I would appreciate a definition of ‘taking it slow’, so I know what I can and can’t do…”

“I don’t know, I feel like we could keep being the way we were before this whole misunderstanding? You know, test the waters… see what works the best for us and take it from there?”

“Sounds good enough for me” he agreed with a smile. “Can I keep shamelessly flirting with you then?”

You chuckled. “Yes”.

“Can I come over whenever I feel like seeing you?”

“You did that before as well, so yes”.

“Hold your hand? Send you your coffee order and pick you up from work? Cuddle you?” He asked all in a row, and this time you threw your head back as you laughed loudly at his silly antics.

“Yes, Hyunjin. Those were all things you used to do before as well”.

“So what I’m hearing is the only things I can’t do from now on are kissing you and getting too handsy”.

“Yah, Hwang Hyunjin…” you called him out with burning cheeks.

“What?” He chuckled.

“Where did the ‘getting too handsy’ part even come from?”

“Well, I probably would’ve at some point last night if you didn’t stop me…”

Too stunned to speak as you felt some kind of electricity run through your body, you fixed your eyes on the door to your right, avoiding his amused eyes while you miserably tried your best to hold back the smile that was already curving up the corners of your mouth.

With a small chuckle, he cupped your cheek and forced you to look at him. “Have I told you before that you’re adorable?”

“Shut up” you playfully pushed his hand away.

Hyunjin laughed loudly, going right back to hold your face, only now with both hands. “So those are the conditions then?”

“I think?”

“Can I take you out on dates?” He asked one last time.

Now, that was kind of a grey zone, for it depended on whether you considered your previous outings and hangouts as dates, so the new ones he was proposing wouldn’t go against the boundaries you had just set when it came to taking it slow.

Nevertheless, even if it meant breaking your own rules, you couldn’t deny that you would die to go on a proper date with him.

“We’ll see” you smiled sweetly, making him smile as well while he tenderly caressed your cheeks. “Since we won’t be taking any distance, though, and we already had a misunderstanding that left us both hurting because of someone else, maybe we could…”

“Not go out with anyone else?” He quietly finished your sentence, when you struggled to come up with the right words.

“Is that too selfish of me to ask?” You asked with a tilt of your head. “I know I’m the one asking for time here, but…”

“No, no. I was going to ask for the same if you didn’t mention it, I’m glad you brought it up” a shy chuckle escaped his lips. “I’m probably the selfish one here because I wasn’t going to anyone else anyway, but I really needed to know you wouldn’t either”.

“You’re quite literally the only guy I’ve looked at with other eyes since I went back to being single, Hyunjin” you confessed, oblivious to how bad his heartbeat was racing because of you. “You really made me go against my wishes to stay away from romance for a good while; I wasn’t going to anyone else anyway either”.

“You mean that?” He mumbled, eyes sparkling as he looked for any sort of amusement in yours.

“Of course I mean it,” you cupped his face with one of your hands, tenderly running your thumb up and down his cheek.

He let out a heavy sigh, letting his face fall to your shoulder. “God, I would’ve died if you fell for someone else”.

“I won’t, Hyunie” you reassured him, running your fingertips up and down his back. “So there’s nothing for you to worry about”.

Choosing to say nothing, he buried his face in the crook of your neck, wrapping his arms around you and pulling you so close to him you could feel the way his body was faintly trembling.

“You’re shaking…” you whispered in concern, tightening your arms around him and resting your chin on his shoulder.

“I can’t believ—I was so scared you’d push me away for good” his voice was muffled against your skin.

“You’re really underestimating how fast you’ve made your way up in my heart” you said softly, making him go back to your eye level and look at you. “I’ll do my best to work on myself so I can give you the love you deserve, hm?”

Hearing you say those words to him so genuinely, left him speechless.

Hearing it coming from your very lips that you wanted to love him right, he could only feel on Cloud Nine, as he was now the closest he’d ever been to being with you the way he had always dreamed of.

All he could do right then was to press a loving kiss to your forehead and then pull you to his chest, securely wrapping his arms around you and resting his chin on your head as he whispered how much he loved you.

He knew you weren’t able to say it back just yet, at least not the way he meant it, but he didn’t mind saying it out loud for you to know. He didn’t mind loving you for longer, and he definitely didn’t mind loving you more. You wanted to get there at some point, and as long as you loved him back in the end, he could take being the one who loved harder in your relationship.

After all, he had left his heart in your hands and had you welcomed it, with the promise to do your best to return the same kind of love he felt for you once you were able to overcome your current fears.

Even if it meant he would have to wait a little longer, the way you smiled against his chest right then, along with the way you held him closer to you as well and ran your fingers up and down his back in the loveliest of ways, were enough to make his heart feel at ease, as he could tell right then that you would be gentle with it and wouldn’t let it break again now that you knew how much love it held for you.

tag list: @jehhskz @iknowyouknowminho @doohnut @saintcosette @lailac13 @kayleefriedchicken @rikibun @yongbokkiesworld @seungzsmin @beautifulcolorgarden @hyunetopia @velvetmoonlght @automaticpersonabatpaper @httpdwaekki @brinnalaine @wondering-out-loud @feelikecinderella @nujeskz @amarecerasus @liknws @nhyunn @midsoulz @tirena1 @tinyelfperson @thatonexcgirl @iovecb97 @hynier @phenomenalgirl9 @your-favorite-pirate @jin-from-the-block @yearofthetiger25 @quokkacidal @stayconnecteed @kwanisms @yoonguurt @143hyunes @iiriam @cookielixie @hyunlvrs @allyrarara @machaandlofi @mehli-00 @justiceforvillains @minhosprettywife @whats-my-question @armystay89 @jaiuneamesolitaiire @hyeon-yi @skzstannie @onlyhyunjin

[redisthenewblue]

JESSICA RABBIT like YUU X DORMLEADERS

(This focuses more on Jessica’s personality than her looks!)

So, he probably heard about you from Cater or Ace. When he first spotted you hanging out in the Monstro Lounge—singing and pouring drinks—poor guy didn’t even know how to handle himself! At first, he had his own thoughts about you, but eventually, he warmed up. I mean, when you hit him with that classic line, "I’m not bad, I’m just drawn that way," he totally fumbled his words and turned a shade redder than his hair!

He starts to relax a bit with the rules when you’re around, but if you’re up for the challenge of learning all 810 of them (or at least a third of them, which I bet you are), that’s a wholeee different story! Anytime someone shows a little too much interest in you he’s like, “OFF WITH YOUR HEAD!” Like he loves having an attractive , amazing, dare I say HOT partner but damn is there a lot of things that come as a consequence of such blessing.

And don’t even get me started on how he reacts when you entertain Deuce and Ace’s wild ideas. He loves you to bits, but honestly, you’re stressing him out! Someone save him from the shackles of love🥹‼️

You remind him of the Lionesses back home, embodying their fierce spirit and strength. He never underestimates your capabilities, especially after witnessing someone get their arm caught in a bear trap while attempting to make advances toward you. If anyone crosses the line, he is always prepared to intervene, although he typically ensures that such situations never escalate to that point in the first place.

Your unwavering loyalty is undoubtedly one of his favorite qualities; you are always ready to defend him and are unafraid to remind him to get a grip when necessary. A significant turning point in your relationship came when you allowed him to rest his head on your lap, and this simple act gradually transformed into a cherished routine between the two of you.

Ruggie frequently reaches out to you, expressing his frustrations about Leona and pleading for your assistance in dragging him out of bed and into class.😭 Depending on Leona's mood, he might even pull you down into the bed with him, making it difficult to escape. During nap time, he wraps his tail around your leg like a makeshift sensor, ensuring you remain by his side and do not attempt to leave the bed. Unfortunately, this means you have to say goodbye to your perfect attendance.(RIP)🫡🪦

You and Azul first crossed paths when Floyd and Jade hired you, unbeknownst to Azul, to perform at the Mostro Lounge. After witnessing your debut performance, Azul was so impressed that he promptly offered you a contract, recognizing the influx of new customers you attracted. However, he often feels a twinge of insecurity around you; after all, you are one of the most stunning individuals he has ever encountered (Don’t tell Vil he said that💀)

Adding to his struggles, Jade and Floyd constantly bully😭 tease him, making it nearly impossible for him to focus on his work whenever you're nearby. There was a particularly memorable moment when you accidentally walked in on him changing, prompting him to hide away in embarrassment. Your warm embrace brought him to tears, showcasing the depth of his feelings for you.

In a narrative reminiscent of a mafia boss and his devoted, sweet wife, Azul deeply appreciates your willingness to get your hands dirty in his defense. While he may occasionally take advantage of your fierce loyalty, the silver lining is that you are never entirely constrained by your contracts!🤫

He would totally go above and beyond for you. Out of nowhere, gifts would just show up on your doorstep, which was sweet but also a bit much. You had to remind him that he didn’t need to shower you with presents, but he just couldn’t help himself—everything that reminded him of you ended up in his cart. It got so excessive that Jamil had to step in(per usual)

“Jamil! Do you think they’ll love this?!” Kalim would ask, all excited. And Jamil would just roll his eyes, “You know how they feel about you buying them stuff.” EVERYONE SAY THANK YOU JAMIL‼️‼️

You know you’re always going to be his go-to when he throws a party at the dorm. The whole time, he just clings to you like a koala, and honestly, it’s kind of adorable.

But things got a bit intense when you almost lost it on Jamil after he overblotted and tried to go after Kalim. Ever since then, you’ve kept your guard up around him. Kalim assured you that everything was cool and that there were no hard feelings. He was pretty happy when you said you’d try to move past it for his sake. But let’s be real, that grudge? Not going anywhere. 💀

Absolutely DANGEROUS couple‼️Like the paparazzi just can’t get enough of you two! You’re probably being followed around everywhere with cameras in your face.

Let's be real, you two must be making music together because when you do, those tracks are hitting the TOP 10 on the BILLBOARD charts in no time! Honestly, you guys are just an absolute power couple, and I applaud you for it(I’m jealous)🫡

But seriously, he wouldn’t let you anywhere near Neige. You go to a ball as his plus one and Neige was there? He pulled out every excuse imaginable to get you away from the guy. Like, “I want to introduce you to a co-star of mine,” or dragging you away and saying“Here’s a good friend of mine!” Come on, buddy, you’re not slick😭

He’s just trying to protect himself from losing anything else to Neige. Please, give him a little reassurance (I’m begging you😞).

So, imagine this: a total gamer who's kind of a loser, but somehow he snagged a super hot girl—like, how did he pull that off? I'm honestly a bit confused about how you guys even met since he rarely leaves his room. But if you two ever did bump into each other, you’d totally be the oddest yet cutest couple around! This relationship is probably the closest to Roger Rabbit and Jessica.

You always listen to him go off about his games, and I mean, these rants can get up to four hours. Trust me, he’s not going anywhere if it’s not with you. His hair definitely turns pink whenever you stand up for him or tell a waiter they messed up his order.

He totally fell harder for you when he saw how you interacted with Ortho. You two hit it off right away and became besties, teaming up to coax Idia out of his shell more. Honestly, it’s just one big happy family! 🥹

So, he was super interested in you, right? Lilia had to really push him to make a move and talk to you, even though you might’ve had the reputation to be a bit unapproachable. But hey, that’s probably why you two clicked so well once you finally met! You both totally bond over the fact that no one really wants to come up to you, even if the reasons are different. It just works out perfectly!

When you joined his gargoyle club, he had to seriously hold back a giggle like a school girl. And let’s be real, even though you weren’t really into gargoyles (he could definitely tell🥸), you showed up to every single meeting, listening to him go on and on about those stone creatures. It’s like he’s convinced that you’re the one for him. So, when people start calling you Lady Draconia, just know that this was no mistake 😭

But here’s the thing about dragons: they get super protective over their mate. If anyone tries to mess with you, they're immediately struck down by lightning. He gets all confused when you shake your head and frown, telling him you could’ve handled it on your own.

[lexieloo28]

HAPPY S1 FINALE EVERYONE!!

OK CINDERELLA BOY NATION SOOOOOO

NOW THAT I CAN FINALLY POST THIS MUAHAHAHAHAHAHAH I HAVE SOME THEORIES/ COMMENTS ON STUFF AFTER EP. 61

SPOILERS AHEAD IF U HAVENT READ IT!

SERIOUSLY YOU'RE NOT GOING TO WANT TO GET SPOILED FROM ME. PLS GO READ PUNKOS AMAZING FINALE FIRST!

Ok so throw back to Ep. 56

When bronze entered the book and only encountered that rustling. He himself states that either Buddy/Nox wasn’t there, or left the book.

The rustling in the bushes could have just been ambience ORRRR Buddy/Nox could have spotted him and left quickly! Bronze would recognize him right away, so it TOTALLY makes sense that he would leave. However, he didn’t show up at all when Deacon was Ridin’ Solo. So he probably either has a direct link to Silver, or Chase himself. If Violet is linked with Silver, Buddy/Nox prob skedaddled the moment he saw our peanut butter boy.

The book shown in EP. 61 shows a bunch of lines and junk (including Buddy/Nox's moon) with Violet's key presumably in her spot? Which could connect her to Silver? Idk

Another thing, I’ve been thinking about :

What role exactly Buddy/Nox has... When Chase first wakes Silver in Ep. 9

We can see here that Chase says purple key and villainess and Silver confirms. I saw someone in the comments mention that he has the moon on his back to mirror Goldie, so maybe he is the villain key? Like, for masculine roles while Violet is for feminine roles. He does mention that he’s never been the hero…

Some more food for thought,

Look at how sad he is here in Ep. 13 :( Chase has no idea that he’s saying that to a fellow key who probably knows Silver better than Chase does.

A few panels earlier Buddy/Nox calls her an “it” so I wonder if he was somehow turned into a key after they were separated, and never met her? Or he could just be throwing Chase off. He seems genuinely surprised when Chase tells him off.

And Next,

This episode had me thinking of Buddy/Nox bashfully asking Violet to make him outfits for each story LOL. I love when we get peaks into his shy personality. He has a snooty persona he keeps putting up, and I hope in season two we get to see him show more genuine pieces of himself :’)

(Ep. 40)

Now, discussing some moments from the actual episode 61 (and ofc I freaked out for a Hot Minute after The Reveal) I wanted to share a bit of a “haha” moment where this image

Did not in fact make me freak out. For the right reasons. I went “WOAH VIOLET IS SO BIG”

…

I was so shell shocked from the kiss that I didn’t even CONSIDER that Buddy/Nox is TINY 😭

And then we get to see more of his facade crack as he sadly reminisces after the kiss. Not a cute moment like Chase, but a realization that he’s fallen deeper than he should have. And it’s getting in the way of his goals. Their goals.

And finally,

Looking back at some of the other episodes, Buddy/Nox lets himself indulge in Chase sometimes. When he calls him a little idiot, strokes his hair, tries (badly) to idk seduce? him. Its making my mind RACE! Was he aware of his feelings? Did he look forward to seeing Chase in the books? Did it give him a sense of normalcy and make him feel human again? Did he feel a sense of dread when he realized that he likes Chase, or chose to ignore the reasons he shouldn’t and let himself indulge? Or push his feelings deep down and not once mention it to Violet?

Punko, you are a LEGEND I cherish this webtoon SO MUCH.

SO GLAD I CAN FINALLY POST THIS IVE BEEN FROTHING AT THE MOUTH RGRGAGGR

[nie13chen]

Player 132

This is the first part of the fiction I started to write. I'm trying to write a little slow burn, as far as it's possible since the events take place during the game in season 2 and it only lasted three days so far, so let's see where it goes.

I'm not a native speaker, I hope it doesn't sound super weird. Hope you enjoy it.

PS: I know, Player 132 is some random guy in season 2, but I just ignored that fact.

Pairing: In-ho x f! y/n (3rd person)

Summary: In-ho first notices you during the vote after the first game. After he spoke to Gi-hun during the first night, he decides to approach you.

Words: 1569

Content Warnings: attempted suicide, drug abuse

Chapter 1 - Player 132

In-ho entered the room through a side entrance. The lighting was dim. It felt strange to move without a mask. All the players were preoccupied with the voting, so no one noticed the newcomer. Some stared blankly into the void, while others whispered excitedly to each other, but no one paid him any attention. In-ho's eyes landed on his green suit with the number 001 and then shifted to the voting board in front. He was one of them again. He would play again. A faint smile crossed his lips. This time, it was different.

The voting had started in reverse order on his instruction, giving him enough time to blend unnoticed among the other players. In-ho observed the white numbers on the green suits. For a brief moment, his gaze lingered on the number 456. Bringing Gi-hun back had been a risk. However, he was the first known winner in the history of the games to return. That would undoubtedly increase the game's appeal…

Player 004 made their way to their seat. A tie.

When In-ho was called to vote, he moved slowly and almost silently at first, then quickened his pace. The other players stared at him. His fluid movements were reminiscent of a predator deliberately approaching its prey. Since he had kept himself hidden behind the other players, he now had to cross almost the entire room. The other players began cheering for him, trying to pull him to their side. Halfway across the room, he suddenly felt like he was being watched. One of the gazes in the crowd felt different. He tried to look around without slowing down or turning his head. His gaze met that of a young woman.

Player 132.

For a fraction of a second, he froze, just long enough not to arouse suspicion.

Player 132.

For years, it had been his job to observe the players, to know their backgrounds, and to collect data on them. It had become something of a ritual for him to pay special attention to this number—perhaps out of nostalgia, perhaps out of connection; he couldn’t quite tell. He tried to recall what he knew about her, but for some reason, his mind failed him.

Player 132.

His jaw tightened. For a brief moment, his breath caught. He felt as though he were moving in slow motion. A stabbing sensation in his chest made him uncertain whether something was breaking free within him or whether something was embedding itself deeper, something he thought he had long since forgotten. In-ho’s dark gaze met a pair of eyes carrying the same pain shared by anyone who agreed to the terms of the games, but also a melancholy and restlessness that stirred something deep inside him—a part of himself he had buried long ago. It took effort to refocus on his goal and continue toward the voting podium.

When he finally reached the console, he hesitated. Not now, not here. These words swirled through his mind, attempting to silence whatever had just occurred. It couldn't happen. He had meticulously planned everything, removed every obstacle, accounted for every scenario—except this. If he allowed the cold fog creeping into his mind to take hold, it could mean his downfall. Perhaps it was already too late.

He knew all eyes were on him, and he didn’t have much time to make a decision. He thought briefly, then pressed the green button.

-

In-ho tried to sneak back to his bed as quietly as possible after speaking with Gi-hun. He glanced around to ensure he was unobserved and then wiped his eyes with the back of his hand.

The weight of unanswered questions pressed coldly and heavily on his chest, just as the shared fate between him and Gi-hun did. They both had won, yet their victory had come too late. The memory of failing to save what they had risked their lives for connected them and, at the same time, led them down paths that could not have been more different.

Suddenly, he heard a faint humming. It was a melody he had never heard before. He wasn’t sure whether it was the memory of his family, which he had just shared with Gi-hun, or the gentle sound of the voice, but the song deeply moved him. A shiver ran through his upper body, leaving behind a painful burning sensation, yet it oddly soothed him. He drew a sharp breath and looked around. Across the room, a woman sat on her bed, her legs pulled to her chest, arms wrapped around them.

Player 132.

In-ho didn’t know why he followed the melody, but for some reason, he couldn’t turn away. He slowly descended a staircase between two bunk beds and then sat on one of the steps next to Number 132. When she noticed him, she fell silent.

“Please, don’t stop…”

The woman looked at him questioningly, but his smile convinced her to comply. It didn’t quite match the rest of his expression, but she sensed it was genuine. There was something questioning and quietly desperate in his eyes. 132 closed her eyes and began the song again. For a while, they simply sat next to each other, letting the melody transport them to a world beyond this island—away from the games, away from fear and death. When the song ended, they sat in silence for a moment.

“I saw you during the vote. Why did you decide to stay?” she finally asked.

In-ho didn’t answer immediately.

“And you?” he countered, gesturing to the green circle on her jacket.

He caught a brief glimpse of the long scar on her neck, but she seemed to notice, as she pulled her jacket’s zipper higher. Then she let her arms drop so that her hands now rested gently and soft on the mattress.

“You’re trembling,” he noted.

He resisted the sudden urge to place his hand over hers. After a few moments, she quietly began to speak into the silence.

“It’s a rare neurological condition. I was a pianist. Music was my life, but because of the disease, I couldn’t take on any work anymore.”

She lifted her trembling hand as if to demonstrate.

“The pain comes in waves. Normal medications don’t help, and the doses doctors prescribe me are a joke. So, at some point, I started obtaining sedatives on my own.”

She paused for a moment. Now In-ho remembered. He had read in her file about her spiraling debt due to drug abuse, about the measures she had taken to get money, and how he had judged her for it. He swallowed.

“Over time, I needed more and more of the stuff to get through the attacks, until I finally decided to quit. The drugs are gone now, but the pain remains. And so do the debts.”

She smiled at him through the silence.

“May I ask your name?” she asked quietly, averting her gaze as if uncertain whether the question crossed a line, since she was clearly younger than him.

“My name is In-ho—” he hesitated, then continued, “But the others here know me as Young-il. I… I’d appreciate it if not everyone here knew my real name, if you understand…”

She nodded.

“I’m Y/N.”

Why had he told her his real name? He knew it wasn’t an accident. He wasn’t supposed to trust anyone—trust made him vulnerable. And yet, for some reason, he didn’t regret his decision, even though he knew how dangerous it was.

“It was nice meeting you, Y/N. You should get some rest,” he said abruptly, standing up.

He was about to leave when she lightly touched his arm to stop him. Her touch took his breath away for a moment, spreading warmth and softness over his entire body. He didn’t dare move, hoping to prolong the moment.

“In-ho,” she said, so quietly only he could hear it. He turned back to her.

He swallowed. Only now did he realize how long it had been since he had heard his name spoken aloud. Here, he was Young-il or The Frontman—never In-ho. The last person to call him that had been his brother, just before falling off the cliff. Hearing her voice say his name unsettled him yet comforted him at the same time. He looked at her. Now it was he who trembled.

“Are… are you all right?”

There was something about her that drew him in, and that scared him. It was pointless to deny it. Perhaps it was her sharp intuition, her gentle voice, or the quiet despair in her gaze that seemed to seek refuge in him. For a while, he remained silent. He had already lost everything once on this island and wasn’t ready to take that risk again. And yet, he couldn’t bring himself to walk away from her presence. In-ho tilted his head slightly to the side, trying to appear as unaffected as possible.

“Why do you ask?”

Y/N looked down at her knees, as if hesitating to answer. Then, slowly and seriously, she continued:

“Your eyes. They look like you’ve been through a lot. More than most of the people here.”

In-ho looked at her for a long moment. He knew she already understood the answer. Finally, he smiled, turned, and walked back to his bed without another word.

Player 132 watched him leave for a long time.

[farthest-harbor]

Please infodump about the Nick headcanons :3

I have more!

Nick always wanted to be a dad. He dreamed about it with Jenny, imagining raising a child with her. When he lost her, he gave up on that dream and figured it wasn't for him. With the action-filled life he leads, it would be tough to have a family anyways. But if you decide to adopt synth Shaun, Nick will immediately step in as a dad figure. He will teach Shaun life skills, take him on adventures, read to him, show him how to repair gadgets, and play with him. You will see a very sweet side of Nick you never knew before. Shaun will make him feel young again.

Nick is torn between being a city guy and a country guy. Obviously his work keeps him in the city and he's got excellent street smarts, but when you take him with you to places that are more peaceful, like Sanctuary or Acadia, you watch him relax into the tranquility of nature. He loves a good view, and since he doesn't need to sleep, he likes to watch sunrises and sunsets while enjoying a smoke. Sometimes he misses the sounds of birdsong from before the war.

He isn't much of a singer, but sometimes you can catch him humming softly along to something on the radio, usually Billie Holiday. His voice is low, warm, and rich, and mostly in-tune. If you like to sing along to the radio, he will listen adoringly, even if you're tone deaf. He badly misses the times when music was easier to come by, when almost every house had a turntable and a record collection. There's so many half-remembered favorite songs floating around in his head from the old days that he'd love to reminisce about with another person who remembers prewar times.

He hates the Silver Shroud show with a passion, thinks it's corny and juvenile, and is terribly embarrassed if you take on the Shroud's voice and mannerisms when you take up the role. He will visibly cringe if you do the voice and will probably make fun of you about it later. Despite this, he still likes Kent Conolly, for reasons he can't entirely explain, but he does think Kent has terrible taste.

Nick likes both cats and dogs but is more of a cat person. He's reserved, independent, and intelligent, and enjoys those same qualities in a pet. But Ellie would never allow a cat in the agency, it's enough of a struggle already to keep it organized, so if the two of you adopt a cat, it will probably live at Home Plate or wherever your home is.

He's kinda old-fashioned about relationships. If you're together long enough, he will probably propose, unless you do it first. He will try to scrounge up a ring for you somehow, either make one himself or scavenge one from an abandoned house. He would want a quiet, private ceremony with just the two of you, maybe a couple close friends, just to make it feel official. While marriage doesn't mean anything from a legal standpoint in the postwar world, it just feels right to his prewar sensibilities. A ceremonial proof of his love and commitment to you. He'd probably want to have the ceremony somewhere tranquil and pretty, maybe near Sanctuary, but would be happy to marry you in the Diamond City chapel if you asked, or anywhere else of your choosing.

Nick is entranced by the ocean. I think he only saw it for the first time when prewar Nick moved from Chicago to Boston. It felt impossibly huge, beautiful and powerful. He couldn't get enough of it. He has a bit of a reckoning on the boat ride to Far Harbor, though, when he experiences firsthand how violent, cold, and cruel the ocean can be. It rattles him a little. Still, whenever you're by the ocean, you'll catch him staring thoughtfully out at the breaking waves and the distant horizon. He just can't seem to look away.

These were fun, thanks for asking! Feel free to ask again anytime :)

[twinnedpeaks]

it’s DELAYED but it’s HERE:

my list of favourite and least favourite books i read this year as someone who reads a lot and works with books <3 mostly horror books since that’s my area, but other genres as well.

BEST:

thirteen storeys by jonathan sims - given how big a tma fan i am it didn’t surprise me that i loved this. but i have NOT shut up about it since. one of the horror books i rec most often at work. genuinely just so good. i love his brain so much. i wanna study it under a microscope.

interesting facts about space by emily austin - this book gave me an autistic lesbian with mommy issues in the best way possible. loved it so much. cannot wait for her new book.

a botanical daughter by noah medlock - i could have CRIED from how beautiful this book was. basically a frankenstein retelling with a tender, botanical, queer heart.

butter by asako yuzuki - i’m not usually a big crime/thriller reader, but this FLOORED me. read it coming home from a trip and i was so enraptured by the story and the dynamics. saw it won waterstones book of the year so! good for her.

brainwyrms by alison rumfitt - oohh miss rumfitt you’ve done it again …. such a viscerally brilliant and at times disgusting tale. i recced this to a regular at work and she messaged me saying ‘okay. what the fuck did you make me read’.

it came from the closet: queer reflections on horror - some of horror’s big queer artists talk about how they felt seen in horror media as lgbtq people!! so interesting. picked this up at gay’s the word in london.

a lonely broadcast by kel byron - this felt like reading a tma episode and that is a compliment. so unique and stunning. i want the next book now.

evocation by s t gibson - i’m rarely a fantasy girlie but BY GOD this ruled. tarot inspired magic system with a toxic polycule? from the author of a dowry of blood? sold.

monstrilio by gerardo samano cordova - i named this my favourite read of the year on ig for a REASON. holy fucking hell i still struggle to find words for this book. so full of grief and love and humanity.

bury your gays by chuck tingle - now THIS was fun as hell. gay slasher w some truly brilliant moments.

summer sons by lee mandelo - godddddd this. just. yeah.

compound fracture by andrew joseph white - genuinely one of the best modern horror writers out there, and this was no exception. managed to snag a signed first edition through work and i shall treasure it.

a sunny place for shady people by mariana enriquez - horror short stories!!!! loved all of them so much.

witchcraft for wayward girls by grady hendrix - i know hendrix is one of those authors you either love or hate BUT. i love his work, honestly. reminded me of ahs coven and the craft. i got an arc back in october and devoured it.

she’s always hungry by eliza clark - ah tapeworms my beloved <3 i will read everything clark writes forever.

perfume and pain by anna dorn - this was so messy and fun. truly what it’s like to attempt to be a writer while also being just a very messy kind of sad person.

evil in me by brom - i am a HUGE brom fan and this latest book was everything i could have wanted.

don’t let the forest in by cg drews - GOD YES I enjoyed this. reminiscent of summer suns or a horror version of the raven boys. loved loved it.

blackwater by michael mcdowell - how the HELL have i never read these???? southern gothic perfection. there are a couple books and i’ve read the first three and adored them.

WORST:

my throat an open grave by tori bovalino - when i heard it was a horror novel about fae loosely inspired by labyrinth i was so excited. it, however, fell SO flat and i was bored.

day one by abigail dean - only read this because i got it for free from work. it was not worth the money. reminded me why i don’t read crime novels.

we used to live here by marcus kliewer - ok it feels a little unfair to put this with the worst, because i DID have fun reading it. i was just wildly disappointed. i had so many people telling me it was the scariest book they had ever read, and it just felt a bit like a sad attempt at ripping off jordan peele’s us.

incidents around the house by josh malerman - honestly, same reasoning as above. just less fun and more boring.

let the right one in by john ajvide lindqvist - i’m sorry but the writing here was genuinely just so bad that i couldn’t focus on the story itself. great movie, bad writer.

dearest by jacquie walters - could not tell you what happened in this book. could not make myself care.

mean spirited by nick roberts - i’m sorry but this was just so fucking stupid i couldn’t take it seriously. you might love it if you’re really scared of dogs or communication.

[crusty-chronicles]

A Mistake (Ging x Gon's Mom)

Chapter One: The Before

Synopsis: There was only ever one thing Ging regretted in his life, and that was what happened with you. You didn't think you had it in yourself to forgive what he did. Yet despite it all, you always end up finding your way back to each other.

It wasn't well known you'd ever had a husband. Just like it wasn't well known he'd ever had a wife. Only people in your closet circle knew about it. And even then, fewer knew you had a kid with him. It wasn't your doing, God no. If things had gone your way, your family wouldn't have been broken up. But as fate would have it, things were always complicated when it came to Ging.

—------------------------------

The two of you had grown up on Whale Island together. You were the only other kid besides Mito around. Yet despite that, you and Ging were never really friends. In fact, to most it looked like you hated each other. To a certain extent, you did.

Ging was standoff-ish, even as a kid. He never wanted you or Mito to hang around him. Often shooing the two of you away. His dismissive attitude sparking your hostility towards him. If he'd climb a mountain, you'd climb it in half the time. If he caught a monster in a lake, you'd catch two. 

Ging noticed your attempts to one up him, striving to get under your skin just a little more. If you discovered a new plant on the island, he'd undermine it with an even bigger discovery. If you made friends with some of the crew from a visiting ship, he'd connect with the captain.

Everything you two did was to spite the other. 

But somehow you'd ended up together anyway. 

—-------------------------------

W H A L E  I S L A N D: J U S T  B E F O R E        G O N ‘ S  A R R I V A L

Another letter had come in. Just in time for Gon’s 12th birthday. It was signed with your signature. Mito eyed it with dread. A sinking feeling in her stomach. Sooner or later, she'd have to give them to him. She promised you, after all. But what if he decided he didn't want her as his mom anymore? Wanting instead to chase after you like his father. How would he react knowing his real mother wanted to see him all this time?

With a heavy sigh, she stored it away with the others. The sound of knocking quickly catching her attention. And when she saw it was Gon on the other side, her worries temporarily melted away. He'd brought a friend this time. ‘They’ll probably be out the whole day,’ she thought with a fond smile.

With that in mind, she quickly put both boys to work. Making sure they were all cleaned up before letting them explore the island. Yet something unexpected had happened. Gon presented her with his own hunter license. The very same her cousin had gotten. The type you'd gotten.

She tried not to let her dismay show. Playfully bending the license, though she knew it was practically indestructible. A part of her still hoping it would tear. These things had taken enough of her family. She returned it back at Gon’s protests. Laughing at his pouty expression. 

One very reminiscent of yours.

Both boys left soon after they ate. All the while, Mito was eyeing the drawer she put your letters in. She knew it was time. Gon was an official pro hunter. There was nothing stopping her now from giving those letters, and yet… Yet she was still stalling. 

She was stalling on giving out a few things. Ging's included. She tried to get rid of Ging’s box. Tried everything to destroy it. And when she couldn't, she gave up. But she never tried to get rid of your letters. Never anything that was yours. 

It was getting late. The sun had barely finished setting. She decided she'd bring some food to the two boys. They must've been hungry being out for so long. 

It must have been a natural talent in the family. To always be able to find the person they were searching for. You and Ging would always find her when she would hide away. And he'd always go out of his way to find you when you didn't want to be found. Here Mito was some decades later, somehow knowing just where Gon ended up.

The two boys were near the edge of a cliff. A small fire burning to keep them warm. She went to take a step forward, stopping when she heard one of them talk. 

“You never told me what your mom does.” 

She could hear Gon let out a heavy sigh. Unknowing his mother had fallen into the exact same occupation as him. 

“It's hard to ask about my dad, but asking about my mom's even harder,” he responded.

As much as Mito resented Ging, she loved you. She would have answered a thousand questions about you.

“It's just that since Aunt Mito raised me all by herself, it feels weird y’know? Like it's wrong or something.” Gon continued.

He was ashamed to ask about you? She never wanted him to be scared to ask her anything. Especially if it was about you.

“When I was little, Aunt Mito told me that both my parents died in a traffic accident. She thought if I learned my dad was alive and a hunter, that I might end up just like he did. So…”

“She didn't know how right she was, huh?” His friend commented.

“When I found out about my dad, I dunno? I guess I kind of decided that if he was still alive somewhere, my mom must've been the one who died.”

Wrong. You were perfectly fine. And maybe a small part of her regretted telling that lie. But how could she possibly explain what happened? Tell him his dad had lost custody of him on purpose during court? That it was his fault his own mother couldn't get to see him? 

“Ever since then, I've thought of Aunt Mito as my mom. The only one I've got.”

She didn't know she was crying until her tears dripped down. 

“So there's nothing for me to ask. And I don't need to.”

Such a beautiful moment she was blessed with, and yet… it was tainted by guilt. 

You'd wanted Gon.

You never wanted to give him up.

You tried to get him back.

It wasn't fair.

Not to you.

All she could think of was how badly Ging had fucked up.

She made a decision the next day. To finally tell him the truth about everything. And if he still didn't want to learn about you after, then truly she'd done everything she could. The only one to blame would be her idiot cousin.

She started off with the easier stuff. Things she knew Gon wanted answers to. That wouldn't hold as much weight to recount. Everything pertaining to Ging. That stupid box he left which she had no idea how to open. Stories of their childhood. How she was always chasing after him. How she yelled and fussed after him, only for him to essentially brush her off. How as much as she resented Ging for leaving, couldn't help but feel like things fell apart as soon as he was gone.

She left it at that for a while. Giving Gon time to process everything while she psyched herself up to talk about you. He'd gone back to his room with his friend, and Mito found herself back at the drawer that contained your letters. Twelve of them perfectly sealed and unopened. Her hands were shaking as she picked them up. 

—----------------------------------

The two boys sat excitedly around the tape recorder, triumphant smiles at finally getting that damn box open. And as the tape started to play, Gon could feel his heart stop. Was that really what his dad sounded like? After all this time, it was Ging talking to him. Despite his crude words, Gon was brimming with fire. Wanting more than ever to find him now. 

“About your mother-”

He shut off the tape just as Mito entered. She was clutching something close to her chest. A regretful expression on her face.

“What are those?” He questioned.

“I told you everything I knew about your father. It's only fair I tell you everything about your mother, too.” She explained.

And before Gon could protest, she finally handed over your letters.

“I don't even know where to begin, but make no mistake, she never wanted to give you up.”

He looked up at her in shock.

“My mom's alive?”

Maybe it wouldn't have been enough by itself to make him care. But the letters in his hand and the way Mito spoke about you did. 

“I promised her I would give these to you. She sent one for every birthday. I think that if you ever wrote her back, she'd waste no time responding.” It was said with a bittersweet smile.

If she'd given them sooner, you probably would have.

Gon opened the first letter, he and his friend skimming over the text.

To Gon, 

Happy First Birthday!!!! (Or well, second, but I'll write that one after this.) I'm your mom, and although you can't read yet, let me tell you a little about myself. For starters, I'm a hunter. Just like your clown of a father and maybe someday you. No pressure, I'll be proud of you no matter what you become. Anyways- I’m an underwater ruins hunter. I study civilizations lost to the sea, recover sunken vessels, and occasionally discover some pretty gnarly sea creatures. (Unwillingly if I might add.) I was born on Whale Island and spent most of my childhood there. When I was twelve, I left to take my own hunter exam. Now for the elephant in the room…. I'm obviously not there with you. I wish I could be. But I trust Mito will raise you well. For now, I'll be writing you every year. You don't have to respond, but just know I love you very much.

Your Mom, Y/n.

He didn't know what to expect. Surely not for you to be the complete opposite of Ging. You wanted to see him? You didn't expect him to be a hunter? You encouraged him to reach out to you?

With every letter he read, he became more fascinated. Your words were gentle, often telling him to chase his own dreams. Sometimes you'd write about what you did. Things you discovered and what you hoped to find next time. He thought he'd be okay without knowing anything about you. Perhaps Mito being the one to bring it up changed that.

“My mom was a hunter too, huh? But she seems so different from Ging,” he commented, looking up when he finished the last letter.

Mito let out a drained sigh before speaking. 

“I don't know exactly what happened between them, but I do know your dad did something to stop your mom from seeing you.”

A curse, she thinks you called it. 

“She asked me to take care of you. I would have done it anyway, but something about her trusting me…”

She remembers hearing a knock at the door. Opening it only to see your broken expression. She wanted to be mad at you. Not only had you gone and gotten knocked up, you did it with Ging of all people. The man who she wanted nothing to do with at the moment. That wasn't what sparked this feeling of betrayal. This hurt. You didn't even bother to tell her anything.

You'd been absent from her life for at least two years. You used to visit every few months. And you never hid things from her. But this? A relationship with her stupid cousin and a two year old kid? She wanted to slam the door in your face. Then the feeling disappeared at the sight of you crying.

“Please,” you sobbed. The only person who'd ever made you cry was Ging.

“Please take care of my boy!”

She knew it wasn't your idea to give him up. Not when Ging left the boy without looking back, and you were right in front of her pleading to take him in.

“Raise him like he's your own. I … I wish more than anything things were different. But I can't fix it this time. So please, please love him. Make sure he grows big and strong. Teach him right from wrong-”

“I promise.” She cut off. Her own eyes tearing up as she watched you fall apart.

“My first memory of your dad was his back. My first with your mom was of her face. Smiling so sweetly at me,” Mito started.

“She was my best friend, and I loved her like a sister. She was always butting heads with Ging. Your dad thought she was a pain, and your mom thought he was a jerk. To anybody with eyes it looked like they hated each other. Even I was convinced.”

She could see both boys listening intently. Waiting for her to continue.

“But despite all their petty arguments, they really did care about each other. There was this one time…”

—-------------------------------

W H A L E  I S L A N D :  2 1  Y E A R S  A G O

You didn't know how many times you'd found her like this. Hysterically crying her eyes out because she'd lost sight of Ging. But you did know you were sick and tired of him leaving her to fend for herself. He didn't have a shred of sympathy for anyone but himself. You'd put him in his place one day. For now…

“Ging left you again, huh?” You asked.

Mito looked up at you tearfully. Little hiccups escaping her from her place on the ground.

“Yeah.”

You crouched down to swipe the tears off her face. Flashing a soft smile and offering up your hand.

“Well who needs him? C'mon, let's have our own adventure.”

She took your hand without hesitation, letting you pull her up and clinging tightly to your arm. She could always count on you to make her feel better. A smile of her own making its way to her face as you pulled her along. 

“Where are we gonna go?” She questioned.

“Mmmm. Oh, I know! But I can't tell you.” You put a finger to your lips. Eyes filled with amusement watching Mito pout.

“Why not!” She gave a small stamp of her foot.

Deciding you wouldn't tease her further, you responded truthfully.

“Cuz, it'll be a surprise.”

Something special for her. So maybe the person she wanted to spend time with could care less about her. That didn't matter now that you were here. You were absolutely right. She didn't need him.

You led her deeper into the forest. Stopping just short of a clearing with what had to be the prettiest flowers she's ever seen. Blues and reds sprouting from every which way. A small pond in the center with frogs sitting by the edge. Her eyes widened in awe at the sight. 

“How did you find this place?” She asked.

You plopped down on the grass. Laying back and spreading out your limbs.

“Well, you discover something new everyday if you look hard enough.”

You gestured for her to join you. And without fail she did. Laying contently besides you while looking up at the clouds. Her senses flooded by the sweet smell of flowers. You stayed like that for a while. Basking in the serenity of the clearing. An idea came to you then. You nudged her shoulder lightly.

“Hey…Let's come back here tomorrow and have a picnic.”

“Really!?!”

You laughed at her excited tone.

“Yeah! I'm getting better at cooking. How about I bring the food, and you bring the blanket?”

You looked over to see her beaming at you. Your bright grin matching hers.

“Sounds good to me. If I tried to bring any snacks, Ging would find them and eat them.” 

You sat up at that. Raising your fist to the sky with a shake.

“That jerkface. I'd give him a wallop if he tried that.” 

She sat up with you, not bothering to hide her giggles when she spoke.

“Are you gonna give him one today?”

“For making you cry? I'll give him two!”

Your conversation was soon interrupted by a loud growl. The two of you froze. You turned your head to see a foxbear stalking forward. Instinctively you stood in front of Mito. Trying your best to figure out a way to make a break for it. The girl behind you still on the floor unmoving.

It took another step forward. Teeth bared in warning. You could outrun it, you were sure you could. But Mito couldn't. And if you carried her, you wouldn't be fast enough. You had to get its attention long enough for her to escape. It lunged forward before you got a chance to speak.

You’d grabbed Mito and rolled as fast as you could out of the way. The foxbear slamming its head on a tree. You grabbed the younger girl by her shoulders.

“Mito, get out of here! I'll distract it!” 

She seemed to snap out of her fear for just a brief moment. Looking fast between you and the animal that regained its bearings.

“I can't leave you!” She cried.

You didn't have any time to argue, so you said something you hoped would get her moving.

“Then go get Ging! Hurry!”

You shoved her before she could argue. Watching as she broke out into a sprint. You let out a sigh of relief. It was gone as soon as it came, feeling the looming presence behind you.

Mito ran as fast as she could through the forest. Shouting for Ging as loud as she could. Once again crying hysterically the longer she looked. She bumped into something hard. Falling backwards and looking up to see what it was.

“I thought you gave up for the day? Well, whaddya want?” 

She sobbed harder at the sight of Ging. Doing her best to speak coherently through her tears. But all he could make out was ‘Y/n’ and ‘Help.’

He rolled his eyes at the mention of your name. Cutting off Mito from her panicked rambling.

“Look, whatever happened to Y/n is her problem. Besides, she's always running her mouth about how much better she is than me. She can deal with it herself.”

Right at that moment your scream reverberated through the forest. For the first time since Mito could remember, Ging went pale. His eyes widening as the blood in his veins froze. Then all at once he started running. Sprinting as fast as he could in the direction of your cry.

Mito did her best to follow after him. She'd never known Ging to be scared. And she never would have known if it weren't for the slight tremble in his hand as he aimed his fishing pole. His body stuttering upon seeing your crumpled up form. The foxbear looking up at him with a growl.

He ran to the side opposite of you, using the tip of his fishing pole to smack the back of its head. He signaled for Mito to grab you. Continuing his onslaught as the foxbear grew more frustrated. It made a lunge for him. Ging dodged at the last second and made a run towards you and Mito. Picking up both of you and sprinting back towards the village.

Your body felt light, and he tried not to notice the limpness of it. He tried to ignore the warmth seeping into his clothes. The houses were barely in sight when he started shouting for a doctor. For anyone to help.

And he internally cursed you. Just what the hell did you get yourself into. You were gonna die. You couldn't die. You were supposed to be here. For him. 

It wasn't long before you were taken in by a doctor. You were rushed in for surgery. The medical professionals stopping both Ging and Mito from entering the room. So they waited outside instead.

Mito eyed him from her peripheral. His shirt was soaked with your blood. She half expected him to yell at her for your condition. For being reckless. He was oddly quiet instead. She also thought he would have left by now, thinking you were the healer’s problem. But he was right outside your room.

The hospital wasn't really one. Not like Whale Island had much technology to begin with. It was a five room house with basic first aid. An old man with some medical experience and a few helpers. Still, it was better than nothing. The doctor came out after a few hours. The two of them looked at him expectantly.

“She lost too much blood. It's a gamble if she'll pull through. But as of right now, it doesn't seem likely. You two should go home and get some rest.”

With no other choice they left. Or rather, Mito left and Ging said he'd be right behind her. She didn't expect to see him the next day in your room, having cracked open the door silently.

He stood by the side of your bed. Watching the rise and fall of your chest unmoving. His hand clasped in yours.

She was sure what he said next wasn't for another soul to hear.

"If you die…I'll never forgive you.”

His hand tightening ever so slightly around yours.

“So get better. Don't be a wimp and just bleed out."

He didn't bring it up. Not even to rub it in when you made a full recovery. In fact, it was as if that moment of softness never happened.

—---------------------------

P R E S E N T

“So they still fought after that?” Gon questioned. 

He thought his dad would have been a little nicer to you after that. Seems he was wrong.

“Ooh yeah. A lot. I never told your mom about that either. So naturally they continued on as usual. That didn't mean she didn't have her own soft spot for him as well.”

—--------------------------

W H A L E  I S L A N D :  2 1  Y E A R S  A G O

Another day, another spat with you and Ging at each other's throats. He tried to walk away at first, not in the mood to be scolded right now. But you followed persistently behind him. 

“You can't just disappear for a day! Everybody was worried about you!” You shouted.

Everyone huh? He shot you a glare over his shoulder.

“Even you?”

He watched smugly as your cheeks puffed out in irritation.

“Oh yes. Totally worried and not at all annoyed by your reckless behavior! Can't you stop being stupid for one minute.”

His amusement disappearing at your insult. He turned around to face you.

“Then why are you here? Quit nagging me and just go away!”

“It's not like I found you first on purpose! You think I like wasting my time!”

His head started to hurt. Maybe staying in that cave overnight had been a bad idea. Not like he'd ever admit it, and surely not to you of all people. You'd never let him live it down.

“Funny. Considering your entire life is a waste of time!” He taunted.

“Real original. At least I'm not the one who doesn't know what a shower is!”

But the longer Ging continued to argue with you, the worse he started to feel. The ache in his head became a ruthless pounding. His vision going in and out. He doubted an animal bite was the cause. He must've been exposed to something.

“Another thing- hey. Are you okay?” Your tone immediately shifting upon seeing him struggle to stand.

You reached to put a hand on his forehead. He quickly slapped it away. Trying to create space between you two.

“M fine. Maybe if you shut up for once…. World wouldn't…be.. spinning.” 

He collapsed onto the ground. The last thing he heard was your concerned cry.

“GING!”

You rushed over to his side, panicking at his rapid breathing. You quickly hauled him over your shoulder and ran back towards the village. They stared at you in shock as you hauled around the unconscious boy.

You'd brought him to the same doctor you'd been at. And like you, the chance of recovery was slim. They didn't know what he'd been exposed to. You did your best to recall where you'd found him. Listing off whatever you thought would help. With nothing to do but wait, they'd sent him home on bed rest.

Mito would check up on him everyday. Surprisingly, you joined her. She'd never seen you so downcast. Especially over Ging. If anything, she expected you to brag about how you were right. How Ging was stupid enough to somehow get infected by a new sickness. Not you being the one to give him his medicine. (His own dad having been gone for some time now.)

He hadn't been getting better the past few days. And as she silently opened his bedroom door, she couldn't help but freeze in her tracks. 

Ging's hand was clasped tightly between yours. You were looking down at him with a frustrated expression.

"You're pathetic if you let this sickness win. Aren't you supposed to be strong?”

She was sure she wasn't supposed to be hearing this. But you didn't seem to notice her.

“Then beat this thing and get better! If you die…I'll hate you forever."

And when he made a miraculous recovery, you didn't bother bringing it up either.

—---------------------------------

P R E S E N T

She continued sharing stories about you and Ging. It felt like a weight was lifted off her shoulders. With every new fact about you, Gon’s eyes brightened. There was still a part of her that was worried he'd start chasing after you next. That he'd stop thinking of her as his mother. She knew it was selfish, but she'd raised him all on her own.

“I'd like to meet her one day. But she wouldn't be able to replace you.” Gon admitted.

She had nothing to fear after all.

—-----------------------------------

You don't know why you were thinking about him. About your childhood. You supposed the setting had something to do with it. You were currently traveling on a boat to get to your next sighting. Then you'd spend about a week doing dives. Truly you loved the sea. You could never get enough of it as a kid. Wanting more than anything to leave that island to explore it.

For so long you'd only ever stare across the horizon. You'd pick up whatever washed ashore and observe it. Try to figure out where it came from or what it was. You were able to spread your wings as a hunter. 

A damn shame the man who encouraged you to do it was a dickhead.

—---------------------------

W H A L E  I S L A N D :  2 1  Y E A R S  A G O

You remembered hearing the announcement and not believing it. Ging's dad was gone, lost somewhere out at sea. They weren't close, but it affected him all the same. You saw the way his eyes widened in disbelief. The way his hands clenched as people offered their condolences. How he started distancing himself from everybody. 

He'd go into the forest and wouldn't come out for days. You knew he wasn't taking care of himself. Seeing his disheveled appearance and sunken in cheeks. You don't know why you felt bad for him. All you two did was yell at each other. But you just couldn't stand to see him so dejected. 

Maybe it was because you could relate to him to some extent. You'd lost both of your parents when you were four. And although every family friend offered to take you in, you opted to stay by yourself in your home. The last thing you'd wanted was to be pitied.

You had a feeling Ging was similar. Too proud to accept any help or admit he needed it. He wouldn't want your sympathy. But you at least wanted him to eat. To stop neglecting his health. 

It wasn't hard to find him. Somehow you always managed to do it. He was slumped over up against a tree. You don't think you've ever seen him so…so upset. You approached him slowly, watching the way his head shot up at the sound of your footsteps.

“You've been roughing it up like a caveman for days. Don't you think it's time to go back home?” You asked.

He took note of the softness of your voice. You've never spoken to him like that before. 

“I'm fine.” He brushed off.

‘You don't look like it,’ you wanted to say. But you didn't want to push him. So instead you'd said-

“Well if you're going to be stubborn. Here.”

You extended out the basket you'd brought. A pleasant smell emitting from it. You could see the cogs turn in his head as he tried to figure out what was in there.

“Don’t go getting the wrong idea. I had leftovers is all,” you justified. 

He snapped out of whatever daze he was in and turned his head away.

“I'm not hungry.”

You frowned at his words. You always hated how stubborn he could be. Two could play at that game. 

“You look like garbage. You know you can't lie to me. And if you're gonna stay up here, at least feed yourself.”

The thought occurred to you that maybe he came up here because he didn't want anyone to see him grieve. 

“Or if you don't want anyone to see you, you could crash at my place.” You added.

Your hospitality didn't sit right with him. You of all people were being nice. Why? Because you felt bad? You were the last person he wanted to be pitied by. 

“Are you gonna tell me you're sorry too? That you're here if I need somebody to talk to? How you can't possibly imagine what I'm going through?” Frustration evident in his tone.

“I'm not-” You tired to argue, but everything had been too much for him.

“Well save it.” He snapped, eyes boring into yours. 

“I don't need your damn help and I don't need your sympathy. But you can never leave me alone, can you?”

You two were no strangers to arguing. But something about this one felt different. It felt more heated. More weighted. The venom of his words making you tremble.

“You're just an annoying thorn in my side that I can't get rid of. I hate you. I hate your voice. I hate the way you look. The way that you walk. I hate everything you stand for.”

He didn't know why he was so angry at you. But he couldn't stop. 

“Make yourself useful for once and get the hell away from me!”

You stood silently taking it. Nails pressing hard into your palms. For a second he thought you would cry. Instead you'd dropped the basket you were holding. Voice eerily quiet as you finally spoke.

“I can't wait until I get off this island. I'll have the pleasure of never seeing you again.”

You left after that, leaving him once again in silence. He thought he would've felt better after you were gone. He didn't. For some reason, he couldn't shake the look on your face. The hurt. You'd never let anything he said get to you before. So why this time?

He shook his head to rid the thought. But he just couldn't escape you. The smell of the food you'd brought wafted tantalizingly in his face. He could feel a small pang of hunger in his stomach. 

Damn you and your persistence.

The more he tried to ignore it, the more prominent his hunger became. Inevitably, he gave into the rumbling of his stomach. Not wanting to admit he was somewhat thankful you'd left the basket. Or that you'd been right. He froze when he saw what was inside it.

These were all his favorite foods. Packaged with care and enough to last him for the day. You didn't have leftovers, you'd actually gone out of your way to cook for him. A twinge of guilt coursed through him. 

He'd been awful to you, and yet you still made sure he was taken care of. Hadn't you lost both of your parents too? More than anyone, you probably did know what he was going through. But you didn't want it to seem like some charity case, so you tried to play it off instead.

And he'd thrown it back in your face.

Man, he really owed you one, didn't he?

Just like that his grief, his frustration was gone. In its place the want to make things right with you. So he spent the whole night trying to figure out how to make it up to you. You loved the shoreline, so he started there. Picking up things he thought you would like. Fossilized parts of starfishes, a few janky shells, pieces of coral. He overheard you talking about sand dollars once, so he found a few of those too. Maybe he'd even catch you a new pet. Everything he collected placed haphazardly into your basket.

He knocked on your door first thing in the morning. It was still early enough that nobody would see him give it to you. Why did it matter if people saw him?

He half debated just leaving the basket at your door. But he decided against it, figuring you'd just think it was Mito who left it. The silence stretched out before him. You sure were taking your time, weren't you? He knocked again.

He felt like an idiot standing out here. People would see him at this rate. How humiliating it was to apologize to you. He twisted your doorknob next, surprised to see it unlocked. He'd scold you for that later. For now, he let himself in. 

“Hey, you awake yet?” He asked softly.

Once again he was greeted by silence. He decided to just get it over with. No point in stalling.

“Look, maybe I went too far yesterday. I don't…I don't hate you…And uh- thank you for the food.” He quickly added.

Silence. He walked further into your home. Face burning a bright red. You were really gonna make him say it, weren't you? 

“You're really that mad, huh? Fine. I didn't mean to snap at you, okay?!? I don't even care about my dad that much. He's never here. Not like you. So just come out already!” 

And when you still didn't respond, his heart dropped. Something wasn't right. You'd never skip out on a chance to tease him. Something on your table caught his eye. A note. It shouldn't have shocked him to see it addressed to Mito. Though he never should have expected you to write him anything in the first place. 

‘I'm gonna be out for a while, so don't panic when you can't find me. I'll be fine. Take care until then.’

Okay. So he'd just have to wait until you came back. No big deal. He could wait here for you.

You didn't come back.

You'd been gone the whole day. Mito came by to see you. And when he showed her the note, she tried to wait for you too. But when it got dark out, she started crying. She always did when something happened to you. She loved you like family. It wasn't like you to be gone for so long. Still, he wanted to give you the benefit of the doubt.

By the third day, the entire island was searching for you. No stone left unturned, every nook and cranny you could possibly fit into was searched. There was no sign of you.

You left.

He was sure you did.

You always talked about getting off the island. Then there was what you said before you walked away from him. That you couldn't wait to leave. He asked all the crew members by the dock if they'd seen you. He checked every shore he could find at least twice. Asked if any boats had left recently. No luck. You'd made sure there was no trace of you.

How was he supposed to explain to everyone it was his fault you were gone?

He was scouting on the edge of a cliff when he saw something. A stone skipping in the water below. He tried not to get his hopes up. Tried to stop the pounding of his heart as he made his way down. Hugging the base of the mountain while scooting a few inches at a time. Finally, there was an opening. He never would have seen it if it weren't for the rock you tossed.

You hadn't seen him yet. Holding yet another small rock and throwing it across the surface of the water. You looked…fine. A canister of water by your side with a small fire going. He had no reason to be worried about you. 

You knew he was there. Even without seeing him you knew. You weren't mad at him, per se, but you were hurt. You could tell he was just lashing out. Taking everything negative and aiming it at you because it was easier that way. That didn't excuse what he said. It didn't mean you wanted to see him. Or anyone for that matter. 

You wanted to be alone for a while. Just to collect your thoughts. But since he was here, you couldn't help but be snippy with him. He had no right to bother you when he'd been so cruel earlier. 

“I thought you wanted me to leave you alone?” Sarcasm dripping from your tone. 

He stood shocked at your words. Regaining his composure only to scold you right after.

“Don't start with me! You've been missing for three days! What the hell is wrong with you!?!”

Had you been more observant, you would have noticed the worry in his voice. 

“Me? Says the idiot who leaves for weeks at a time! You can't get after me for doing the exact same as you!”

“Like hell I can't! The entire island’s been in a frenzy since you left!”

“Well you found me! Now go away!”

He was getting nowhere with you. So he tried someone who could.

“Mito thought you were hurt or worse!”

At that you went quiet. A guilty expression crossing your face. He knew you loved her just as much as she loved you. He took your silence as a sign to continue. 

“Look, when I do it, it's expected! When you do it, it's like her entire world ended. Damnit, you have people who care about you!” He cared about you.

“And you don't!?!” You snapped.

It was like his brain short-circuited at that moment. You cared about him? Was everything he had been feeling what you'd felt too? Worried about how the other was doing. If they were okay. 

“Why are you here Ging?” You asked.

You sounded drained. He couldn't blame you. He'd felt drained too.

“It should be obvious shouldn't it?” He rebuttaled. 

But as always you saw right through him.

“No. Why are you here?”

He didn't know how to answer you, so he didn't. You curled into yourself at his silence.

“I don't want to see you right now.” You said quietly.

He sat down next to you stubbornly.

“Too bad. I'm not leaving until I take you with me.”

You scooted away from him.

“Then we're stuck here because I'm never going anywhere with you again.”

You let out a scoff, directing your attention to the fire in front of you. It was an awkward sort of silence that filled the cave. You didn't want to speak to him, and he didn't know what to say. He looked at you from the corner of his eye. He had no idea how to fix this. He was never the best with people. He knew how to get on your nerves. Not how to soothe them.

So he sat there for an hour or two, trying to formulate a sentence in his head. He eventually gave up. Maybe being honest would help. And if it didn't, then you two would be stuck down here a long time.

“It was off putting, you know?” He started.

“Hmm?” You gave a small hum, still refusing to look at him.

“To have you be nice to me.”

He could see the way your hands clenched. Okay so maybe those weren't the right words.

“Well, it'll never happen again.”

Definitely not the right words.

“Not like that. Ugh!” He tried to diffuse. Face starting to burn with embarrassment. And when you finally turned to stare at him, it only worsened.

“Like what then?”

He took a second to collect his thoughts. Letting out a heavy sigh before speaking.

“I don't want to be the boy who was pitied.”

Your face scrunched up at his words.

“Who's father died so everybody better step on eggshells around him. All the ‘sorries’ and ‘we’re here's.’ I can't stand any of it.” He confessed.

You had a feeling that was the case. It was why you tried to be subtle about your kindness. Look how far that got you.

“Then for you to show up with food, to offer me your place to stay…It didn't feel like you. It felt like everyone else.”

At last, your features softened.

“I just don't want you to change. You don't tell me what I want to hear. So having you care about me just felt off.”

He turned his head towards you when he was finished. He was surprised to see you move closer to him. You didn't look mad anymore. You were trying to figure out how to respond.

“I just…” 

And he waited for you. Just as you'd waited for him.

“You're so strong, you know? So stubborn and determined. I thought nothing could shake you.”

You thought that highly of him, huh? It had him feeling a little worse for what he said to you.

“Seeing you so dejected….It was hard. You're always full of energy. The boy who can never resist a challenge. The sulking kid who sits in one place? That's not Ging Freecs.”

You met his gaze with a small smile.

“I don't want you to change either. And I know you didn't mean all that stuff. You don't have to say you're sorry.”

A feeling of relief washed over him. He decided he hated it when you were mad. Really mad at him. The silence was more comfortable this time. The tension in the cave not as thick. He'd almost say it was nice.

“I thought you'd run off the island. I don't know why, but it scared me. The thought of you not being here anymore.” He admitted.

You gave a playful nudge to his shoulder.

“I would have loved to see the look on your face.”

And once again he was embarrassed. He'd never tell you he was worried. He'd rather have his eyes gouged out than admit that.

“What look? The look of relief.” He taunted, but you only laughed the remark off.

He pouted and turned away from you. Through your giggles you could tell he was flustered. You knew he didn't like being vulnerable. Hell it was a miracle he'd told you as much as he did. You decided to humor him a bit.

“I was scared too. I thought you'd kill yourself up there. That's why I brought you food in the first place.” You explained.

He was grateful you'd somewhat changed the subject. Taking attention off him for a moment. But something in the atmosphere changed. Your amused expression was replaced by something more somber.

“I'm gonna leave this island eventually. I don't wanna be stuck here all my life.”

Eventually. Not yet. It was comforting to hear. He nodded at you to continue, sharing in your sentiment.

“There's something I want to do. Something I want to find.”

“What is it?” He asked.

“You're gonna laugh if I tell you.”

“Promise I won't.” Because truthfully, he wanted to be here with you. A part of him beaming at the fact you were telling him something personal.

“You know about the legend of Atlantis right? The lost sunken city? I'm gonna find it. Or a city like it. Most myths are based in some truth, right? At the very least I can discover lost pieces of civilizations.” 

You spoke excitedly, but when you met his gaze, you shied away. Preparing for him to poke fun at you.

Had it been coming from anyone else, he would have thought they were crazy. But something about it being you made him believe it. It made him want to root for you. Before he could say as much, you continued. This time with more determination.

“In two years, I can take the hunter exam. I'll be able to get the funds I need for dives. Maybe grants for research. I'll be able to start my life. But…I know people will probably think I'm crazy. I'll be underestimated for being so young. It'll be hard.”

He could see you were on the fence about it. Wanting to chase your dreams, but at the same time worried about what everybody else would think. He doesn't think he's ever seen you self-conscious before. You were always so sure with everything you did.

“If anyone can do it, it's you.” He encouraged.

Your eyes widened. Then all at once you beamed at him. 

“So you think I should go for it?” You asked hopefully. 

“Yeah. Besides, I'll be the one to leave first. If I'm going after what I want, why shouldn't you?” 

You were temporarily shocked hearing he'd wanted to be a hunter too. Then again it was Ging. He was always chasing something new. He fit the role perfectly.

“And what is it that you want?” You asked.

He couldn't believe what he was about to tell you. Something he'd never confided in anyone about before. He supposed it was only fair since you did it first.

“There are these ruins. I want to restore them. Well, not quite. I want to find out what's inside them. Nobody's been able to get in there before. Something about it being too dangerous and the ruins themselves being too fragile. I'll start up a nonprofit to get things going. It won't be easy either. But it's what I want.”

He looked at you with an unshakable resolve. The same one reflected in your eyes.

“Then you better make sure to get it.” You said.

He remembered what you said the day he snapped at you. Asking him to go back to the village. Back home. After being away for so long, no thanks to his own behavior and worry for you, he wanted nothing more. He stood up and offered his hand to you.

“I'm ready to go home now.” He prompted.

You smiled and took his hand.

“Then let's get going.”

You got back to the village by nighttime. Staring up at the stars as you made your way to your house. Ging followed right behind you. When you got there, you offered for him to come inside. Initially, he accepted your offer. That was until you found your basket on the table.

“What's this?” You asked.

Ging actively avoided your gaze while you looked through the contents of the basket.

“Mito thought you were sick and made you a basket.” He quickly lied. Face burning a bright red. 

You raised a brow at his flustered expression. 

“Well tell Mito I said thank you.” You already knew it was him who left it.

“I will.”

He went to leave, trying to escape what'd made him so embarrassed. And just before he opened the door, he hesitated.

“Don't ever do that again.” He lectured one last time. 

You gave a roll of your eyes.

“I didn't need you to find me. I was perfectly fine. And besides, I left a note.”

“Just don't do it, okay!?!”

Eventually the time came when he was supposed to leave for his hunter exam. He of course rubbed it in how he got to become one first. Very much enjoying how it got under your skin.

“Being a year older than me doesn't make you better! You know damn well I'd ace it on my first try!”

“Sucks to suck. It doesn't change the fact I'll be a hunter before you. Maybe I'll even get a head start on your search.” He teased.

“Don’t you dare! I'll kick your ass!”

“Oooh. I'm so scared. How's it feel to be in second place?”

“I hope you fail and have to take it next year with me! Then I hope you fail again!”

Your angry expression disappearing when he started staring point blank at you. It felt like he was observing you. You fidgeted under his gaze.

“What? Is there something on my face?”

At that, he continued his way towards the boat that would take him to the exam site. He flashed you a cheeky smirk over his shoulder before speaking once more.

“You're such a nag. You know, no man's ever gonna wanna marry you if you keep at it?”

You could feel your face burn. Chasing persistently at him while yelling.

“Oh yeah? Well you're a lazy bum! No woman's gonna wanna put up with you and clean up after your messes!”

“Psh! I could bag any woman I wanted.”

“Bag this!”

You put him in a headlock. Grip unrelenting as he pleaded for you to let go. Ultimately giving up and letting you rough him up. It'd be the last time he'd see you for a long while. He could feel it.

--------------------------------------

P R E S E N T:  S O M E W H E R E  O N  T H E A Z I A N  C O N T I N E N T

Gon didn't know what he was expecting, he should have figured it wouldn't be that easy to find Ging. Still he couldn't help but feel disappointed his father had sent him on another chase. On the bright side, he'd been able to meet Kite again. The man who'd inspired him to become a hunter in the first place.

It was a hectic reunion to say the least. And after a small scuffle with some ants, the three of them situated themselves around a fire. The conversation centered on Ging for a bit. What he was like, how Kite met him, small things that only piqued Gon’s interest more.

“Do you want me to tell you where Ging is right now?” Kite asked.

Gon knew he was testing him. Already knowing what he'd say without hesitation. He was sure of it now. He was right where he was meant to be. Ging had his reason for sending him here, and he'd do his best to see it through.

"No thanks. I'll find him myself.”

Kite seemed content with his response.

"That's a good answer.”

Gon’s determined look reminded him of someone. He just couldn't put his finger on it at the moment. Yet as the conversation continued, the image became clearer. It wasn't until Gon asked about you did he realize it.

“Do you know anything about my mom?”

That's right. He had your unwavering optimism and determination. He should've known from the start it was you. He may have looked like Ging, but his mannerisms were yours. It really should have clicked he was your son too. 

“Yeah, I know your mom. She's one of my closest friends.”

The way Gon’s eyes lit up, it was definitely you.

“Really!?! What's she like?”

He let out a small laugh at the boy’s enthusiasm. Oh where to start with you. There were so many things to say. More than he could about Ging because unlike him, you two had actually kept in frequent touch with each other. He knew the general vicinity Ging was in, but he knew the exact hotel you were staying at. That was one way to put it.

“She's the complete opposite of your father, for starters. Your dad struggles socially most of the time and he's extremely stubborn. He doesn't give up until he gets exactly what he wants. Your mom makes friends just about everywhere she goes. She compromises a lot when it comes to what she's looking for. But she'll always manage to find a way to get it anyways.”

Gon noticed his tone was a lot softer when he talked about you. Very similar to the way Mito reminisced about your shared childhood. 

“She's always going out of her way for others. I remember the first time I met her…”

—---------------------------------

S O M E W H E R E : 1 6 Y E A R S A G O

The situation wasn't ideal. The two of them needed a place to stay for the moment, and for whatever reason Ging led them here. A small house just outside of York New. 

Normally they'd take their chances with the elements, but the impending blizzard changed their plans. There was no way in hell they would be able to withstand it. Ging seemed pretty adamant about coming here, too. An almost excited look in his eye when the opportunity presented itself. 

When you heard knocking on your door, you couldn't have expected who'd be on the other side. Opening it up and staring dumbfounded. A sixteen year old Ging stood with a ten year old kid in the cold. 

“It’s been what? Four years? Nice to see you again,” he greeted.

“Die.” You quickly slammed the door in his face. 

Now from what Ging had been telling Kite, you were his friend. He said you would greet him with wide arms or something. Be more than willing to open your home. Clearly he'd been misled. 

“Wh-hey! It's freezing out here! Have a heart will ya! At least take in the kid!” Ging pleaded through the door. 

And his motives may or may not have been selfish. Staying here for a night would give him the opportunity to dump Kite off at your place. But you didn't need to know that.

“Stop trying to guilt trip me!” He heard you faintly through the door.

“One night? C'mon. All the hotels are booked up. Look I'll even pay you.”

You looked out through the peephole just in time to see him wave a five dollar bill. And just when you were about to shoo him away once and for all, you saw the little boy shiver. Clutching his arms tightly to himself to keep warm. 

Damnit. 

You hastily unlocked the door. A hand on your hip while you moved to let them in.

“You better clean up after yourselves. Got it?”

Ging gave a salute.

“Yes ma'am. Let's go.” He gestured for Kite to follow him.

The kid followed behind him obediently. Hanging up his coat and looking at your home in awe. Ging leaned down to whisper something in his ear. He gave a small nod when he finished, walking further into your home to explore. Perhaps if you'd been a little closer you would have heard Ging say-

“Told you she'd let us in. Now don't go causing trouble. She's scary when she's mad.”

You let the duo situate themselves in your kitchen. You eyed the smaller boy with curiosity. He'd been dead silent since he walked in. Looking everywhere but you. He seemed to curl in on himself, as if to look smaller. Nerves perhaps. 

“So who's poor kid did you abduct?” You questioned. 

Ging gave a roll of his eyes before answering.

“I didn't abduct him. He just started following me around. I figured it wouldn't hurt to keep him as a student.”

“You? A teacher? That poor boy.” 

“Hey! He's coming along nicely. He's already got the basics down. It's only a matter of time before I teach him nen.” He defended, crossing his arms at your jab.

You scoffed and continued on with cooking. You could see Ging enter your peripheral, a cheeky smirk on his face.

“Speaking of, how's yours coming along?” He asked.

“Like I'd ever tell you my ability. It's humiliating enough you recovered those ruins first.”

You knew those words were a mistake the second they left your mouth. Watching as he beamed before a smug expression replaced it. He used an arm to lean on your counter.

“So you were keeping up with me? If I didn't know better, I'd say you had a crush.” And to your horror, he wiggled his eyebrows playfully.

“Ha! Don't delude yourself. My department covers ruins too. It'd be weird if I didn't hear about it.”

He'd deny the slight disappointment at your words. 

“Besides, how'd you know where I lived?” You continued.

“I asked around.” He said matter of factly. And as he realized what he said, his face flushed.

“Stalker much. If I didn't know any better, I’d say you had a crush on me.” You mimicked.

“Tch. It's not like that! I just…”

“Just what?”

He internally cursed you out for throwing his taunt back in his face.

“We'll probably be colleagues one day, so it helps to know where you are,” he justified. 

You didn't believe him, but still you decided to give him a break.

“Sure. Now, go get cleaned up. Leave your clothes to thaw out. I'm sure I have something that'll fit you.”

“And him.” He gestured to Kite behind himself.

“Oh he can definitely fit in my clothes. Poor thing is so scrawny.”

You walked over to the smaller boy. Kite froze when you cupped his cheeks. Cooing softly at him. Your movements very much exaggerated.

“He's been starving you, hasn't he? C'mon, let's take care of you. It couldn't be easy living with such a brute.”

“Hey!” Ging called out.

You guided Kite to sit at the dining table. He didn't really trust you. And your overly friendly tone didn't help. But as soon as Ging left, he could tell it was for show. You smiled a little more genuinely at him.

“Hope you like soup, because that's what we're working with. Luckily, I should have enough for all of us.”

You didn't know whether to take his silence as a good thing or not. Who knows what Ging told him. Probably that you were a witch who'd put him in the oven.

“I don't bite, you know?”

He eyed you with a shy expression. 

“I've got plenty of food, so you can eat to your heart's content. And don't worry about the dishes. I'll make Ging do them. It's the least he can do for showing up unannounced.” You tried to sway, yet he stayed quiet. Although you noticed he started fidgeting under your gaze.

“Not much of a talker huh? That's fine. If you need anything just let me know.”

The difference between you and Ging was night and day. Your presence was warm and inviting. You didn't try to pry into his personal life or poke fun of him. Serving him a bowl of whatever you'd been cooking with an encouraging smile. 

He took his first spoonful. It was the first time you'd seen him show emotion since he'd been here. Eyes lighting up as he eagerly downed the entire bowl. You did your best to stifle your laughter, pouring him another serving when he was finished.

“You can sleep in my room, if you want.” You offered.

He momentarily looked up from his food. He was weighing the option in his head when Ging came out from your bathroom.

“And where am I gonna sleep?”

Your soft expression shifting into an annoyed one. Looking away from Kite to address him.

“The couch.”

“What!?! Shouldn't the host take the couch?” Ging argued.

“You should be glad I'm letting you stay in the first place. I get the spare room. My house, my rules.”

He huffed something under his breath. You gave a glare and pointed towards the sink.

“Dish duty. Go.”

“I haven't eaten had a chance to eat yet!” He complained.

“Well eat and then do them. I'm not your damn mother."

“No but you'll be a hag in a few years.” He mumbled.

“What did you say?!?”

“Nothing!”

He'd never seen his mentor so compliant. There was hardly any pushback before he was scrubbing the dishes. Ging liked to march to the beat of his own drum. So to see him do whatever you told him, it was shocking. Maybe he didn't want to piss you off. Though he had a feeling it was something else entirely.

Kite followed you to your room. You urged him forward, grabbing a few comforters and pillows from a closet. How long had it been since he slept in a bed? Too long. He practically sunk into the mattress. Smiling contently as he spread out. 

“Getting comfortable?” You asked.

“Mhm.”

“I got you some extra blankets just in case. Here, let me set things up for you.”

He watched mutely as you organized the pillows you'd brought in. Reaching over the side of the bed to swipe a small stuffed bear. You put a finger to your lips.

“Don't tell Ging. I kept this from home. If he found out he'd be a jerk about it.”

It'd been a gift from Mito when you were little kids. You couldn't take a lot with you when you left Whale Island. But you’d wanted some reminder of home. No matter how small it was.

Kite nodded in understanding. Knowing just as well as you how insufferable Ging could be. You were in the doorway when he stopped you. Building up his confidence to speak at last.

“Kite.”

His voice was quiet. Quiet enough that you weren't even sure you heard it.

“Huh?”

“My name is Kite.” He wanted to say thank you, but the words died on his tongue. You smiled brightly at him anyways.

“Well it's nice to meet you Kite. If you need anything, I'm here.”

He could see now why Ging chose this place. Why he chose you. Kite decided he liked you after all.

And while he slept soundly through the night, a certain ruins hunter found that he couldn't. Tossing and turning before getting up to use the restroom. He opened up the door and stopped in his tracks. 

You were snoring away inside the tub. His eyes softened at the sight. You'd taken care of them before yourself. It was just like you to be so stupid. So selfless. 

You never had a spare bedroom to begin with.

—--------------------------------

P R E S E N T

“I didn't find out until a few days later what happened.” Kite continued on.

“And when I did, Ging told me not to bring it up to her.”

“Why not?” Gon questioned.

“He said she didn't do it to be thanked, but because she could. And if she wanted to make a big deal out of it, she would've.”

“I get it.” Killua said.

“If you're friends, then there's no reason to be thanking each other. It goes without saying to help when the other person needs it.” He explained.

“I still don't really get it. Isn't it nice to show appreciation?” 

At the very least, Gon figured his father would have tried to do something nice for you in return.

“Think of it like this: I didn't ask you to come after me when Illumi showed up, but you did it anyways.”

“Well it was the right thing to do.” He said as if it were a matter of fact.

One thing was for sure, he was definitely your kid.

The sound of footsteps quickly caught their attention. Eyes trained to where the noise was coming from. They could see a figure emerge from the underbrush. A woman.

“I thought I'd find you out here. Not that I couldn't sense you, buuuut still.” You greeted the silver haired hunter, not yet noticing the two boys. 

“Hey.” He offered you a wave.

And while he was perfectly calm, he could sense the shock from the boy in green. The disbelief. 

“I figured I'd stop by to see how you were doing. I've got some spare time before my next job.” You explained.

As you came closer, you finally took in your surroundings. The grin wiped off your face when your eyes landed on Gon. You could feel your heart start to race. Stepping back instinctively and pointing at him.

“What's that?” You asked Kite. 

“I think you know.” He responded.

You shook your head rapidly. There was no way. Your nen was still intact so it couldn't be him. Unless…

“No. No I don't. I'm just. Hallucinating! That's it! Oxygen deprivation is finally kicking in!” Your attempts to find any excuse not going unnoticed.

“Why is your mom freaking out so much? I thought she'd be happy to see you.” Killua whispered to the boy in green.

Though he didn't respond. Still in shock to finally see one of his parents. He watched as you continued to panic. His own nerves in complete overdrive.

“Ha, this has gotta be a prank right?” You continued to question the silver haired hunter. But everything came to a head at one singular word.

“Mom?”

Oh shit.

-----------------------------------------------

AN: They could never make me hate you Ging 😞😞😞. Anyways, this'll probably be a three to four part mini-series. I underestimated how much I had to write. We will now return to our regularly scheduled program, i.e. Moon and Sun. Thank y'all for your patience!!!

[illiana-mystery]

Prepare for a cuteness overload. 😉😆

[pasdetrois]

Marina Dyachenko and Sergey Dyachenko, Vita Nostra (tr. Julia Meitov Hersey) • Mircea Suciu, Camouflage (2) • Agostino Arrivabene, Immutatio • Matthias Claudius, "Der Tod und Das Mädchen" • Henry Fuseli, The Nightmare • Dragan Bibin, Pull (edited) • Maria Kreyn, Angel's Back • Franz Wimmer, Death and the Maiden • Mel Chin, Bat and Dove • Ana Sanchez, Death and the Maiden

[mercless]

🗡 mad cowboy disease....

[teafiend]

Thoroughly enjoyed the shamanism/shamanistic, folkloric and supernatural horror base of the show. The mysteries were quite engaging as well. Performances were obviously top-notch, and storylines wonderfully coherent and solid too.

Skipped parts of the last three episodes but due to bits and pieces here, got most of the storyline still. Ended beautifully and hopeful.

A superb 8.0-8.2.

The themes the show touched on varies and fascinatingly relevant, and I thought weaved into the folkloric and shamanistic aspects well. Human greed, wickedness, the sociopathy of the rich/powerful, will-to-live/survive, family/generational trauma, economic hardship, a sprinkle of socio-economic issues in South Korea were threaded logically and with sensitivity.

That said, the emotions about those issues could be better provoked. This was a mostly cerebral show for me, and moved me more in the mind than heart. Still excellent though.

I think one could write reams of paper on the issues brought up here though, no least the sociological aspects of the folkloric and supernatural as it pertains to human activities and emotions. Am sure there are already studies/research about those, but the show weaved them together fascinatingly.

Could not help but feel for poor Lee Hyang-Gi and her younger sister - Mok Dan - too. They were innocents in this, and hard to fault the poor girl for doing what she did after everything she had to go through. All blame were on the older Yeoms (and the shaman; even to an extent, the parents and villagers) and their greed and wickedness (which is par for the course of the privileged, especially). And of course, girls are always - commonly - the first to be sacrificed 😡🤬😭😭😭

The more sobering fact is the show and its world is considered “reality” in certain parts of the world, and not merely fiction. The use of the supernatural to further one’s ambitions, unwholesome intentions etc are common for some people. Not that I personally think they work, just that some people certainly swear by its effectiveness.

All said though, nothing wins over “The Guest” for me personally. To be fair, while both shows share certain themes, they are quite different, and I have enjoyed both, though my heart will always remain with TG. I mean, I am still shipping the characters from TG even when I have to do it alone. The shipping potential for “Revenant” is definitely there as well, and I have read a few lovely fanfic for San Yeong/Hae Sang, so there is that. San Yeong and Hong Sae would be sweet too.

Glad I finally jumped in and completed the show. Well worth the time spent on it.

Mini-rant:

Me and SBS non-Romance dramas: 왜❓(Wae/Why?!)

What is it with SBS and the non-shippable vibes of some of its shows?

I started “Revenant” with a ship (already read a few fics) and came out the other end 😅🤔🫠 This is not the first time either. Non-Romances usually have some good chemistry too, yet 😬🫥

Solid writing, memorable performances and beautiful directing with a sleek feel etc, yet the chemistry stayed firmly platonic (for me). Why???

There must be something in the “sauce” of SBS dramas which blocks my shipping-vibes antennae. Just a roundly weird phenomenon 🫠😭😔😥

[ikilledamanforthisurl]

Moon being an older model with darker, clunkier head fins and no eye lights, minimised of many unnecessary aesthetic bullshit but still sporting the calm, futuristic Blue evoking imagery of software in our time & the prominence of Blue in our computers' designs. The very naming of Moon, of Big Sister Moon, as if she were high above the very people who made her, of great importance and potential with even higher expectations, here to lead her people to their ultimate conveniences and incoming salvation.

Pebbles, the newest known model, being bright fucking pink and yellow and orange, with his dainty little ear thingamajigs and glowing eyes, named after only a handful of the cutest of stones.

[resizura]

saw a gifset of claire from degeneration and between that and me playing code veronica im still mad at how bad they nerfed claire

[welcometotheunknownlosers]

Short hair slaps dont let anyone tell you otherwise

[fancysasquatch]

I don't get seasonal depression, but I do get seasonal wistfulness.

I normally get nostalgic every time fall comes around, but I'm (most likely) moving back to my home state of Florida soon so I've been thinking a lot about the falls I experienced as a kid. I know I'll never get to relive those times, you can't go home again and all that, but I can have the sort of life that I dreamed of back then. I had all these plans and expectations for the future as a kid, and I'm realizing that they're all obtainable goals but they're not going to just fall in my lap. I have to actually build the life I wanted, and I can't imagine doing it anywhere else. Some of the things I want are possible elsewhere, and in fact might be better elsewhere, but other things I want wouldn't be possible anywhere else. Sure there are plenty of states where I could live in a quaint small town with moderate weather, but there's only one state where I could catch up with old friends over lunch or share some of my childhood experiences with my own kids.

[poppyseed799]

I have this problem that’s like the opposite of nostalgia or something where some things I remember liking a lot as a child I look back and only remember the bad times.

This is specifically about Animal Crossing, loved that game as a kid, but I have literally no idea why, cuz it was just pure hell for me from what I can remember.