#i just finished studying finally lol
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Good afternoon :)
lol good evening at time of reading! tis 11:21 pm
#hope ur having a wonderful day :D!!#i just finished studying finally lol#and tmrw is friday so i can (theoretically) sleep in hehehe#inbox shenanigans#moots <3
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>> me when i answered someones ask about charthur modern au for lols and now i cant get cellist charles out of my head
>> bro is ethereal
#(i still need to get him a tux ignore the use of his original clothes lol)#i havent posed his hands ignore that his fingers arent on the strings#this is an experimental scene setup for something else but hes so pretty i cant keep it to myself. yall need to see this#me when i keep posting wips on my wip sideblog and not finishing them#honestly tho its bc its finals week and im desperately just looking to do anything but study#at least the summer is almost here and THEN i can actually properly work on my wips#yippie
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i’m gonna sound stupid for saying this but i’m acc very upset that real life is keeping me away from being a loser here 😔
#suki rambles#i’m barely at home anymore with how much i spend time outside... and i just wanna sit down and WRITE#but as soon as i come home i’m just so exhausted from studying and travelling that i pushing out a 1k fic-#-which would normally be so easy for me feel so impossivble now#and now i just stare at my wips feeling disappointed in myself that i’m too tired to work on it#me staring at my vampire!kita fic 😔#me staring at my lemurian! rafayel fic 😔#the younger me could’ve stayed up and pulled an all nighter to finish a fic but now i just could NEVEERRRR#i need my 8 hours of sleep or i won’t function for a whole day#and i feel so horrible too that i’m so behind on replying to everyone 🥹#DTD TOO BRUH like i was so dedicated in updating every week but when im FINALLY at the last chapter thats when i get so busy ugh#like i don’t wanna be hard on myself bcos i have written a lot and also this is just a hobby but thats the thing!!#i feel like i’m so busy with adult things that i don’t have enough time for writing (which brings me joy) and i’m sad about it lol#big sigh.#tw: rant
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2024 TOA Masquerade
Annnnd Henry (spoilers) undercut !!
the eyes on his sleeves are actually just regular slits that open to show his skin bc i think his ridiculous outfit can become even more so with holes in his sleeves
rip henry you would have loved venetian masquerades
#{ told myself i'd post whatever I could finish within 12 hours and apparently that's 3 linearts#{ okay now i can sink back into studying yahoo!! i want to draw so many things + color but i'll just wait until my finals are over#{ will put these in queue every 6 hours to space these out on my blogs LOL#toaball2024
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and what if I filled a .json file with every apparel and gene item on the site so I could make a Project Price Calculator in python. what then
#I feel fucking insane but someone needs to take one for the team and finally make a robust price calculator#NO IDEA how I'd share it if I finished it though. only viable options I see are switching to js and putting it up on like. neocities 😭#because I am NOT paying for a website host‼️#or letting people download it + open it as an executable file. run my suspicious program Boy#can't use sheets for it because some of the options I want to implement are too complicated also I hate sheets.#there are probably a dozen better ways to go about this I've just never had to think about them before lol#anyways. ~4.5k individual items.#if you think about it this doubles as studying for my programming class <- in denial
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So I got distracted while re-reading One Does Not Love Breathing by @wackus-bonkus-maximus (seriously go read it if you haven’t yet, it’s fantastic <3) and I got itching to draw this scene from chapter 5 sdfghjhgfdshg I sWEAR it breaks my heart
but anyways...
go read it go read it go read it-
#now I can finally get back to reading once I finish studying#this fic has me in a chokehold#I hope it's ok that I posted w/o asking lol#I usually always ask fic writers permission before I start drawing but my brain just needed to draw this sdfghjhgfds#and then I remember we were mutuals (the highest honour when your fics literally started me on interracting with the fandom lol)#and I was like!!!! I can post!!!!#miraculous ladybug#miraculous lb#odnlb#adrien agreste#ml ladybug#marinette dupen chang#ladrien#techically this scene is???#being on break let's me shower this fic with as much love as I've been itching to give it#I don't always have the energy lol but better late than never right?#wigglys art
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Handplates and haircut and more Handplates after that (Patreon)
#Doodles#UT#Handplates#Sans#Phases of reading Handplates: Haircut edition#Lol#Started rereading before the haircut and finished after!#It took about four days - same as my original run on reading Vargas! Huh - which was only one over my projection#I say ''about'' because I did take a fifth day and catch up on all the solo Handplates images as well#All the ones in the main gallery were read along with the main comics tho lol they're important context!#Really I just couldn't read Gaster's ''tear a paper perfectly in half'' without the followup lol#I am planning a full reread sometime in the future but probably not for a while lol - need to simmer#But I know there's even more context than just the DA galleries! Like the QnAs!! Wanna read Everything in order lol#But for now I'm just happy to have finally read the whole main comic (and all the solo pieces on DA lol)#It really is a beautiful piece of work ♥ More context is not the only reason I want to reread!#I have a few things in my notes I wrote for my future self to look out for on rereads lol#Want to study more! Look at the visual language ♥ There's just so many lovely things#Oh yeah! Does anyone remember my tears rating system? X/5 💧?#Well Handplates scores at 💧💧💧💧! :D A very good crying score!#Several scenes that reliably make me cry <3 Yes I have gone back and cried multiple times to them lol#It's important data! <Said not at all similarly to any particular scientist at all (lol)#I did actually find myself empathizing with Gaster wanting to study Papyrus' and Sans' glitch abilities - and thinking about intent to harm#The data collection isn't the problem it's all the everything about how and why he was collecting the data in the first place#Being someone who also collects data as a way to make sense of and not be overwhelmed by - well anything and everything lol#Sans calling him out was really interesting to me! Obviously he deserves to be called out lol but That Particular Action wasn't The Problem#Now if he could just use his coping mechanism in a positive helpful way lol#Anyway lol the images in the post that I'm rambling on pfft - as I mentioned I broke out my colour cube :)#Both of them but I've only really been playing with my 2x2 - I reviewed my notes and remembered!#The haircut really does feel nice ahh <3 I just feel more me in short hair :)#And I really did hurt my hand from drawing too much lol I guess three full pages in one day was asking a lot
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Hi Lili! I just wanted to say that I love your work!
I also wondered if at some point (I saw you are super busy with your thesis- I wish you all the best for that, BTW!) if you ever thought of doing some functional school and medical items? The vintage wheelchair you made a while back is stunning. It's difficult to play a historical game without old-fashioned school and medical stuff. I'm sure you would do an amazing job of it!
Hi! 😊 I have a school set in progress, but I don't own the Highschool Pack so i couldn't finish it.
The medical stuff is a great idea! It definetly needs some research, but that's the fun part:D
#i've just finished my thesis but damn i have more work#i'm applying to an other uni and i need to do a ton of projects like 2 films & an essay & a creative exam & 10 photos based on a story...#& meanwhile i have to study for exams and the final exam is coming closer cause i'm finishing my current uni#waah sorry for the went... just wanted to write it out cause i have a hard time responding to asks and messagges.#i love interacting with you! i just need more time cause there is a lot going on#oh lol and besides all of this i have to work in an actual workplace#interacting with people
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I'm cooking sm rn with the plot, but I'm no cook and I love putting everything I can get my hand on in my soup, so, like, watch out
#finally decided on which route the story is going#and boy is it sm#not a good thing#not a bad thing#just a thing#tho it will really suck for the characters to go through lol#i have so many ideas yet no power or talent to put them to life#how sad#but that's why im doing this#to gain experience#also cause i can see strong potential in it#anyway#gottta go finish my studies#finals
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give me 5 reasons not to jump out of my window
#sorry its just#its 2 in the morning for my old man constitution and its the middke of doom week#AND i just finished an existentialism paper#ON NIETZSCHE#youd think id no how to spell that after 5 hours of typing and retyping his name but i DONT#1. bc i have to become an archaeologist for Petty Reasons for Spite Reasons#2. bc i have to become an archaeologist for cool 'baby jay wanted to do this and so does adult jay' reasons#3. my dog would miss me#4. my friends would miss me#5. i cant die till they can legally put dr on my grvestone#6. i havent written a book yet and the world deserves to see me zombie boyfriends#7. i havent actually done anything truly cursed yet#8. jumping out of a window is Not an interesting death i want to die in a cool way#9. i need to defend said existential paper in front of my favourite professor and best my entire class in verbal combat#10. i dont actually want to die i just want sleep and a hot cup of cocoa and maybe for finals week to be done with#yeah#i feel better after that#i actually really love my life because if you went back in time and told 12 yr old jay that they write about THE FRIEDRICH NIETZSCHE one day#they would be shocked and in awe and find me so so cool bc they loved the Idea of studying philosophy even if they werent sure what it was#and thats kinda cool#i am my own hero and i am literally the coolest person to my younger self#and thats amazing#anyway#this acrually turned out kinda cheerful when i thought it would be a rant post#lol#abyway gonna go cram anthro and socio now bc apparently i keep taking ws
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every time i rewatch buffy i think im not gonna get into it bc i’ve watched too recently. i’m wrong every single time god that show is crack
#i have finals next week#i know it from memory so i know what comes next#and i get excited to get to my favorite parts and i just cant concentrate on studying#there’s only 2 shows i like this much i need to find more#buffy#btvs#i’ve never finished tho lol#i stop before anya dies bc that would kill me
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🍪🥛
#out of sight out of mind....#im not gonna check his blogs every day from here on out#and i hid/archived our chat so i dont have to see it when i open the messaging app#i do have some kind of 'fomo' lol bc i dont wanna miss out on any potential glimpse into his mind or days#esp now when he doesnt tell me anything anymore. idk anything abt what goes on with him#but .. i am allowing and letting him control my life#i obsessively check my phone and refresh his blogs ALL day#it's extremely unhealthy and pathetic and i know this#it's just hard to stop bc i genuinely... love him sm#plus he told me he wanted me for real so he made me not only dream of a life i thought wasnt possible for me#but also WANT it. i only want him and to live with him and be his. that's all i want but he just cut me off out of nowhere lol#and im still hung up on it... i dont want my boring reality. current nor future. i just want the reality where im with him which he made me#think was smth i could have one day soon.#but anyway. if his feelings changed that's how it is. it's not even his fault it's just how things work in life#even if i dont want to accept it i have to. i cant keep living in this limbo. i try to talk to him but he's a wall so that's a No.#so i cant let him control my life and waste away all my days on him#i need to stop checking his blogs and our chat. that's the first step#im still gonna allow myself to think of him and daydream and fantasize. but that will have to stop soon too#then i have to focus on doing my assignments and read books and go to the gym#things that will help me get realistically where i want in my current reality#i want to finish highschool and then apply for a preschool or library program#and hopefully the plan is to get a student housing apartment so i can move out finally and live on my own and study#then when i finish i'll look for a job as either of those things. and a place to live (which is super fkn hard in these modern chaos times)#even if i have to live my life all alone... i want to be as comfortable as i can at least#i can live in my own row house and have pets and work and read and play games and watch shows#and see and talk to my mom#i mean hopefullyyyy i'll be able to try to make at least some shallow connections so i have ppl to hang out with#i can always hope to meet someone who'll fall in love with me but im not counting on it#ugh.. bc as it is now#i dont do ANYTHING but be on my phone
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i was gonna make a post yesterday like uhh 'dawn of the final day' and all that but i was doing some last minute crunch which i put off and forgot to do so cuz of that,,
but none of that matters anymore because i DID THE DEED WOOO I PASSED IM DONE IM FINISHED MATURITA DONE GG GAMERS YIPPEEE 🍾🍾🍾🥂🥳
#yipeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee#technically i finished the exams several hours ago but i took a power nap so-#anyway finally! back to arting i go!! aaaaaa art time#or after i take a brief break lol hahha#technically im not scot-free yet i still gotta go and clown at the uni entrance exams or whatever#jdshk but i dont rly care that much if i wont pass it i wont not rly all that sold on doing medicine anymore lmao hkjhsd#and im already accepted in latin language and literature studies so there hah#anyway thats all just wanted to update the status on my dead silent state hsahsjkh#but ironically after im done with the uni stuff i will also only post sporadically cuz ill be working on animatics lol#anyway bye bye ✨✨✨✨ ill go sleep for a week now hskhad
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Among the many tales about treacherous creatures, the story about the naïve frog and duplicitous scorpion has become something of a cultural meme, adapted and refashioned to suit different social and political circumstances. Its main features are outlined below:
A scorpion meets a frog at a riverbank, and the scorpion asks the frog to let him ride across on its back. The frog is worried that the scorpion will sting it, but the scorpion reassures the frog by pointing out that he too will die if he stings the frog. Satisfied with that answer, the frog carries him across the river, but in midstream the scorpion stings it. Before he dies, the frog has just enough time to ask “Why?” and the scorpion replies: “It is my nature.”
Black Sails 4.06/Black Sails 4.10/Roots by Alex Haley/Mr. Snake and the Farmer recorded by Carl Lindhal/Tales of Kindness and Treachery in African American Folklore, excerpt from lecture by Dr. Maria Tatar
#i have been thinking about making a post like this since last year#when that... backlash? idk. against scorpion and frog stories went around#whereas to me because of the context of the class (on african american folklore) where i first studied that story#ive always seen it in a different context#anyway post in honor of my sister finishing her first ever complete rewatch!#do NOT want to have a debate on the culpability of different characters in the finale etc etc so i think i will not be tagging this lol#these are just threads i saw. connections i made. webs i weaved. you know <3#black sails
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unstoppable force (wanting to spend my entire day playing video games) vs unmovable object (failing literally all my classes)
#bought the entirety of the walking dead series on steam because Nostalgia and i cant wait to play it BUT#i need to finally finish my lis2 playthrough from last year but now i also have multiple bl2 playthroughs with different friend groups#AND there are still weekly overwatch/valorant sessions with my other friend#aaand i kinda wanna hunt for 100% achievements in bl1 and tps so yeah. there is that i guess#wish i had just as much enthusiasm for my studies lol#.txt
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700 more words TT
#have written 1700 words today aknjfkjgfhj#i wonder if my strategy of just writing whatever tf i can think of down first (what i've been doing today)#and then going back and organizing/elaborating/deleting/etc after will come back to bite me tho#idk i had a solid like 1000 words i think where i wasn't struggling too much to write what i wanted to write#and then i was like lmfao shit now what#ugh anyway i'm tired but i wanna finish the 2400 words today so i can do all that otehr stuff to actually make it coherent tomorrow#it's due tomorrow afternoon ;-; and here i am putting words on tumblr dot com instead LOL#and then i have exam on friday ;-; but i like that class but it is rly hard and i havent fully comprehended everything yet#bc i havent done any practice/studying yet ;-; so gotta cram after turning this project in lmfao rip#ahhhhfhajfghlsdbjksdfgjlkadhgaidrhg screaming so close yet so far still lol#bro i was like very productive for like a couple hours maybe this afternoon and then after that i've been . not as productive TT#1700 words tho !!!!! 700 more i can do it probably TT#i could've chosen a final project option that wasn't writing some kinda essay but iiiiiiii didnt :'')#i actually like somehow completely forgot about the fact that i was obsessed w rina's htg album and one of the options was like a playlist#option and i feel like a lot of the songs could fit w themes we discussed in class this asian am lit class :P#esp bc minor feelings and we read (parts of) the book minor feeligns lol#but i forgot about that until someone mentioned the song in class as part of Their project 💀#but oh well i mean i was thinking about the playlist project bc it#seemed like the easiest ngl LMAO but nothing was rly jumping out at me for songs#granted when i was thinking about it my mind blanked to just like taylor even tho i definitely haven't only been listening to taylor XD#ANYWAY WORDS 700 WORDS#sigh maybe that 12-3am grind will hit lmfao#jeanne talks#FINALS WE CAN DO IT GOOD LUCK TO ALL OF YALL DOING FINALS SHIT ANDGJFHGDJKDJFK
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