#i just felt like writing. yay !!!!!!!
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sailing-through-hawkins · 4 months ago
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the big bad babysitter
✧ written for 'plug' ✧ word count: 437 ✧ rated: T ✧ cw: none ✧ tags: urban fantasy, bouncer/werewolf steve ✧ @steddiemicrofic \(≧▽≦)/~✧
He doesn't mind the more difficult nights, if he's honest. They usually let him get some adrenaline out of his system, not to mention he always has Robin behind the bar if anything gets too bad.
But when one of the roughhousers manages to somehow pull the entire band's plugs out of their sockets, Steve's blood boils.
"That's it," he snarls and grabs both of the idiots by their shirts, pulling them up and dragging them out of the bar. "You two are in time out for the rest of the month. If you come back before that, I'm getting the bat, got it?"
They both nod, one more meek than the other, and he lets them off. Walking back through the wall, Steve rolls his shoulders, feels the shift wave through them and lets out a breath.
"Time out, huh? What are you, the big bad babysitter?"
With a sigh, Steve looks to the side, where one of the band members leans against the exit too lightly to activate the barrier. Which means, unfortunately for Steve, he probably knows enough magic to make things difficult if he wanted to.
"Careful," Steve warns with a too-wide smile. "Wouldn't want to be put in the corner, would you?"
The guy laughs, completely at ease except his heart is racing so loudly, Steve would expect it to be the band's next opening. He looks at Steve with dark eyes. "Aw, did I manage to get three strikes already?"
"Think you're mixing metaphors up there, champ." Poor guy's probably buzzed off adrenaline himself. He told Dustin the stage's confidence enchantment was too strong. "Baseball's got nothing to do with babysitting."
"Base - no, I meant, like," the guy stammers, wringing his hands together. Steve glances down at the shiny iron circling his fingers. "You know, discipline stuff."
Snorting, Steve slowly makes his way over to the bar, smirking when pretty doe eyes follow him, both the eyes and the legs attached. "Is that what you need, rockstar? Some discipline?"
"I -" His cheeks are flushed red and damn, Steve hasn't gotten to bite in so long. "Well, I mean -"
"Got a name?" Steve turns and presses a hand against his chest, feeling the thrum of his heart reaching through their skin.
"Eddie." He breathes out and Steve grins, letting the shift run over his teeth and eyes, breathing in the fear, the excitement that he gives off. "B-but you can call me yours?" "Very smooth, Eddie." Steve pulls him in by his belt loops, laughs against his lips. "I think I just might." There's more than one way to get adrenaline out.
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grif-hawaiian-rolls · 2 months ago
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The Reds the Feds and Wash : Car Trouble
Lil writing and bonus under the cut >;3
Locus slammed the mongoose into park, scowling as he approached the stopped Warthogs on the road. One job. He gave them one fucking job. Take the Warthogs, go from point A to point B. It should have been, by all counts, impossible to screw up. AND YET! Here he was, having to come to their rescue. Unfortunate and worse, irritating. At the very least, most of them had the good sense to keep their helmets on. The same could not be said of Donut and Neko, who were both helmetless and mid-conversation like it was a nice day in the park, not high value targets stopped in the middle of the road in a warzone. Not to mention Neko’s… frankly ridiculous perch across the top of the Warthog, legs wrapped around the barrel of the turret and his head on the windshield. Genuinely, what was that idiot doing? That couldn’t be a comfortable position to maintain, especially while talking to Donut who was leaning against the driver side of the vehicle. Locus wondered if the sergeant would shoot him if he walked over there and threw a blow at Donut to prove a point. Agent Washington almost certainly would. Better not to risk it then, no matter how effective it would be at proving a point. Neko was a lost cause at this point, short of taking a blade to that ridiculously long braid, but there were some lines even Locus hesitated to cross. Actually, where was the sergeant? Or Pavoz for that matter? He was so focused on the thought for a moment, Locus almost tripped over Lopez’s legs. The robot was half way underneath the other Warthog, no doubt checking for anything else that could be wrong. Locus’ half a stumble was easily brushed off as him nudging the brown calf plate to get Lopez’s attention. "<You have my part?>" He asked as he pushed himself out from under the car. He was without his helmet as well, surprisingly. But forgivable, seeing as how the light under the Warthog remained steady enough to assume Lopez had been using his helmet as a light source. Lopez, despite being a robot or maybe because of it, was very quickly becoming the second most competent soldier in this group. If nothing else, at least Locus knew he wouldn't fuck around half as much as the rest of them. He pretended he didn't notice Neko's helmet hanging off the turret of the other Warthog. "I do." Locus removed the mechanical component from the compartment in his chestplate, leaning down to hand it to Lopez. "What happened?" "<Dunno. Bad luck, from the looks of it. Or someone drove this thing over a fucking tree, and picked up a squirrel nest or twelve. It's a mess, but this,>" Lopez gestured the piece Locus brought, "<seems to be the only part that needs replacing to at least get this disaster on wheels to a base.>" There was that, at least. Locus crossed his arms. "How long?" "<The rest of today, probably. I need to actually clear this shit out of the undercarriage or it's just going to cause more problems,>" Lopez rolled his eyes, a very human gesture set in a metal face. "<And even then, we won't be able to get moving again until morning. Sarge kept trying to start the damn thing and killed it's battery. It needs time to build up a solar charge before we jumpstart it with the other one.>" Unfortunate. At least the question of the sergeant and Pavoz was answered, as the pair of them came through the underbrush off the side of the road like they were summoned by Lopez mentioning Sarge by name. "-make a Red out of you yet, boy!" Sarge laughed, clearly mid sentence as they rejoined the rest. Pavos nodded along, though how much he actually agreed with the conversation was debatable. The sudden sound of a horn going off had every weapon in the vicinity raised in reaction, before the source became clear as the sound dragged out. Agent Washington's helmet rested on the wheel of the second Warthog, defeat written in the angle of his shoulders. Donut laughed at something, presumably the same thing Washington was reacting to. Neko looked smug, so safe to assume it was probably something he said. Idiots. All of them. Unfortunate.
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I'm not immune to roadtrip arc, and Kimball does say the Federal Army of Chorus moved the Reds and Wash around a lot sooo like >> i'm just saying, it'd be a shame to not make Wash suffer through a red team roadtrip Bonus, sometime the s12 finale and reveal of the armies:
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felix's text is so much harder to read off my tablet screen than i thought it was fuck okay transcript time Felix, while reaching for the radio: I'm gonna lose it if we do this entire drive in silence, I swear- Locus: DO NOT
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fortune-maiden · 2 months ago
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@cypherptqueer the peishui + hx scenario you described earlier has fogged up my mind as well and inspired... whatever this is ahaha
Thank you ;w;
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In the eternal broad daylight of Heaven, in the large open gardens of the Wind and Water Palace, the last thing He Xuan expects to see is the Water Master fooling around.
Shi Wudu is not the type. He is stoic to the point of arrogance, as strict with himself as he is with others. Even in the comfort of his own home, he is not someone who can openly relax. Any softer side he bears is reserved solely for private moments with his brother, moments He Xuan often hears about, but would never be allowed to witness.
And yet, it’s his voice, loud and spirited, He Xuan hears from the garden as he trails after Shi Qingxuan down familiar halls. White robes come into view, alongside golden armor, their respective figures oblivious to the rest of the world.
Pei Ming’s arms are wrapped tight around Shi Wudu’s waist. He brazenly kisses the back of his neck as he lifts him up and holds him over the koi pond. Shi Wudu screams out threats at him, but he does so laughing, his cheeks dusted pink with a rare dimpled smile across his face.
It shouldn’t be possible for Shi Wudu to make a face like that, He Xuan thinks, a knot forming in his stomach as he stops to watch the intimate scene. To look so happy, boyish even, to gaze upon someone without any of the contempt that defines him.
This isn’t how Shi Wudu is supposed to be. This isn’t how He Xuan wants to see him.
“Ming-xiong, let’s go,” Shi Qingxuan calls out, walking straight ahead, and looking straight ahead too.
“Isn’t that your brother?”
“Nope. Not at all. Just some palace attendants fooling around.”
“That is definitely your brother. And General Pei.”
Shi Qingxuan stops. “Ugh, look, you need to meet me halfway, okay? There are some things a little brother isn’t supposed to see, okay?” But it’s already too late – the splash as the two go tumbling into the pond is hard not to turn towards. Shi Qingxuan and He Xuan are treated to a show of swearing and shoving, and then shameless laughter as the great General Pei suddenly declares he can’t swim and clings to an exasperated Shi Wudu for rescue. Shi Qingxuan grimaces, lip curling in disgust, before he grabs He Xuan’s wrist and forcefully pulls him away.
When they’re safe inside Shi Qingxuan’s rooms, and the echoes of laughter stop replaying in his head, He Xuan remarks, “Your brother is certainly bold.” He’s not so crass as to rub the relationship into Shi Qingxuan’s face, especially when he’d equally like to forget what they’d just witnessed. “What a nice smile.”
His voice sounds as cold as he feels. Shi Qingxuan only sighs.
“Ge’s smiles are always nice,” he mutters. “But that side of him… that’s only for General Pei.”
There’s no one else in the world who can make Shi Wudu feel so secure and happy.
Neither of them likes it.
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loderlied · 7 days ago
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i need you all to know that the main reason (besides a general hunger for attention) niles even accepts aldori’s call is because he got caught stealing his student’s work and passing it off as his own and his reputation as a teacher was obviously ruined. lmao
#when i say that niles is the most envious creature i mean it#he’s watched a good handful of them become more successful with their music than he ever would be and felt that since he was basically the#reason for the success (not really. not like it’s everything it’s mostly luck but you have no real passion for this lol)#it would be fine if he had a piece of the cake too with future students. not like he immediately came to this conclusion#and felt not torn and no guilt over it.#took a while to rationalise it and all.#the envy and feelings of inadequacy and a desire for approval and fame just won over after a time#it’s not like he believes he’s better than them he just wants people’s eyes and attention on him so unbelievably bad that’s what he believes#he deserves#and at some point(s) he feels so small that he will do shit like this. he would fake having a terminal illness too lol#he’s just a loser. niles’ story is supposed to be a horror comedy style thing and the majority of the comedy comes from that fact lol#oc: niles#honestly? can relate on the parts of being a loser who is only ever mediocre at something creative they do.#for me i don’t think it’s for the same reasons as niles especially don’t care about fame or shit like that lol#and i obviously don’t steal shit even if my ocd tells me the exact opposite so much#that i actually hesitated to post this because i thought people would assume that i steal too because he’s my character#and your ocs always have a part of yourself in them and what if people found out that i was stealing i just didn’t know and. hi.#can you tell that i’m a fear based writer. i write about my fears. hi#anyways. and then kingmaker and fae mpreg happens. yay
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keylovesstuff · 5 months ago
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Ok so @tiny-prom and @casual-derg 's Player One Luigi AUs has had in a chokehold for a minute and I had to write a little thing for Villainess Peach....cause I love her 👌🏾👌🏾👌🏾 and this little Idea has been on brain for a minute.
The final Hammer bro clutched its right arm and its trembling legs ultimately gave out collapsing on the ground. Struggling to maintain consciousness, it summoned what little strength was left to glance from the red boot to her blue.
"You ..won't get away... with this...Luigi…He'll stop you like always," it stammered out every word.
Princess Peach snorted with glee reverting her wand back to its battle axed state. She gave it a smirk and then her back before making her way to the throne room.
"Tell him I look forward to it." She said confidently.
Opening the doors to the chamber, as expected, she was met with an empty, bigger throne and a much smaller one beside it. Bowser made storming the place way too easy sometimes between leaving these goons he called as a defense and following his daily routine to a T. She might as well make herself comfortable for a bit, seeing as he wouldn't be back from his morning stroll for another hour. This Kingdom's so-called heroes must be out as well, seeing as no one came to the aid of the soldiers earlier. It was a special day, however, so it made some sense why they weren't around, she thought as she readjusted herself on the bigger throne. No more than ten minutes later did she hear the sound of footsteps approach the chamber, and in front of the opened door appeared her pride and joy.
"Dad, were you guys training the army again? I think you all went a little overboard." The prince commented in the direction of several laid out soldiers before letting out a surprise gasp."Mama Peach, " he yelled in excitement, running towards and jumping into her open arms as she stood up.
"Surprise," she said, pulling the koopaling into a tighter embrace. "Didn't I promise I'd come see you on your birthday?" She reminded him, smiling when she felt him nod in her neck.
"Thank you. Oh, Mama, " he pulled away to look at her."Were you the one who did that to everyone in the hallway? You should go easier on them next time, " Junior advised, looking back at the area once more.
"If I hold back, they'll never get stronger now, will they?" She asked, placing him down on the floor, giving him another smile as he sort of agreed. "I tell your dad that all the time, but I guess he's become rather complacent with those guys always around. Yes." Peach stated it as a fact more than a question.
"Luigi and Mario" The prince felt the need to clarify their names as he would always do. "They're the best fighters in the whole wide world," he praised, and she had to stop herself from outwardly grimacing.
"Yeah? Do you think they're even better than Mama?" She asked and giggled when he immediately went silent as he seemed to be thinking about it hard.
"Hmm, I can't decide who would win in a fight between you guys. Maybe a tie?" He concluded, not reaching a clear answer nor wanting to give it any more thought.
"A tie, huh? I'm glad you think so, son. " The Princess struggled a bit to maintain the calm and sweet demeanor in the presence of her child as she said that. It took her a few seconds to push the images of her losses to them into the back of her mind. "Well, you know mommy's can do anything, right? Even beat the best fighters in the world, " she told him, kneeling down to his eye level, and he nodded again.
The outcome would be different this time. Peach just knew that what she had planned would put an end to those guys once and for all. With them out of her way, Bowser would have no choice but to give into her demands. Finally, she would be able to raise her child how she wanted so that he could serve his purpose for the people. Letting her thoughts get ahead of her, she could feel a laugh undignified for a lady creeping up. Glancing at the clock, it appeared she only had about twenty minutes left till his Majesty would return if word hadn't reached him already about what went on not too long ago. If she didn't want her plans thwarted before having a chance to execute it, then it was probably best to get a move on.
"Junior, how about we -" she started and gasped, looking in every direction as if he had just vanished in thin air from where he was seconds ago. Switching from panic mode real quick, she once again reverted the battle axe to her wand mode just in case she ran into some minions daring to challenge her should they regain consciousness along her way.
Just as expected, Junior was in his mess of a room. Toys, crumpled up pieces of paper, bandana's, and art materials were scattered all over the floor while he was in the closet desperately searching for something. All she heard from him were "no's' ' , "not that", "how did this get in here" and saw the items being tossed out one after the other, She was starting to get antsy at Bowser returning and with those guys as well.
"Honey you shouldn't walk away when mama's deep in thought it's a little rude" she lectured "Oh but we simply must get going, I have a bunch of festivities planned for you back at the mushroom kingdom" Peach told him walking up to him at the closet.
"Found it!" He yelled in triumph, showing her a piece of paper with a drawing on it. Ignoring what she had just said, he pulled her arm so she'd lean down to look closer at the picture as he pointed to each figure. "That's Dad watching everyone from his seat, and that's Papa Luigi with huge muscles showing off his cool hammer. Right here, Kammy's fussing at Mario about something, I think he called her a funny name or something. Finally, me and you are over here holding hands and smiling. Do you like it?" He finished.
Peach focused on the image of the two of them for a little minute. She couldn't put a finger on it, but something was a little off about it. Then she caught it.
"Oh, what's that little thing on your head here?" She pointed to the picture of himself.
"That's your crown, can't you tell? You're not wearing it in the picture cause it's on me, " He told her as if it was the most obvious thing in the world. "It reminds me of you since I don't see you all the time. At least on paper, I get to wear it just like you, Mama. Do you like it?" He repeated his question.
It took everything she had to hold back the tears of joy pricking at the corners of her eye. A son should never see his mother break down crying even if it is the happy sort. Winning the fight against her emotions, she took a deep breath before answering him.
"I love it. I'm happy to know you want to be just like mama sometimes. " She finished and started standing up before Juniors voice caught her attention midstand.
"You can have it. So whenever you miss me, you can look at the picture. " he handed it to her.
Peach held onto the paper with great care not to crease any of the already existing creases. Even with the addition of the four extra figures, Junior's art was perfect. So perfect, the thought of desecrating the portrait by cutting out the extra people as soon as she was alone with it exited her mind as soon as it entered. Yes, they could stay in pictured form she figured it'd be a good source to turn to should he find it difficult to produce some tears. Again, this plan is full proof, so he'd need many things to help him for the future.
"You're the sweetest." she placed her hand on top of his red hair and rubbed it softly. "But Mama's supposed to give you presents on your birthday." With a giggle, she stood up and reached for his hand. The boy took it, and she led him out of the room.
They walked a little ways outside the castle to the pipe she entered from. All while she promised him the best birthday cake and gifts he could dream of. The best part, though she reminded him, was that he was spending this special day with his mama.
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stabbyfoxandrew · 4 months ago
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omg guys yesterday i said i was gonna answer asks and disappeared sorry TWT
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naenaex0xx · 7 months ago
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maybe I'm comfortable with tumblr because I get to say things I don't usually tell anyone
#like how my day is? or what dumb stuff im doing lol#my “safe space” where i got to meet people somehow (and theyre very cool :3c)#well. im happy if i get to do it now#cmon nae! sympathy points wont do you any good !!#okay so. tumblr gets to be my little planner too cause i get to write things in the momoment#so im writing things im proud of!#brushed my teeth for more than two mins today#n i actually washed a lil! its embarrassing writing this here because i dont want anyone thinking im dirty.... since its gross#but anyways.. im getting better at putting my phone down at night!#that means fixing my sleep right? i just have to sort out the mornings since i lose track of time#and struggle to leave bed (its too comfyyyy >.<)#and oh. i want to start going on walks..#itll be hard since the house is getting done n stuff but. anytine if the day. i feel like taking walks woukd be better for me#just to keave the house. my eyes always hurts when i steo outside#n thats not good :<#those are my goals for now. i do wanna get closer to my friends. and actually make friends!#ive had no friendships for nearly a year at college lol#its just been 'oh well' but i have actually felt lonely... oh well-#i guess i wanna get closer to people?#and.. talk to ny old friends too#i feel to guilty#im not good with this stuff. it drains me#but anyways. baby steps right? who knows#maybe ill make a friend on the trip! or next year too! that sounds good#ik nobody'll probably read this cause its word vomit lol#but basically yay yippee im feelin kinds alright#<333#posts.nae/rambles
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ezziefox · 2 months ago
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I been really in my zone lately
Just today, and even last night, I been really in my zone, man. I felt so free. I felt so capable. I felt so in my zone. I was writing, mainly planning, which was something I hadn't done to this degree in a long while. I've been making progress. Just wish it could've lasted longer. Would really appreciate that, you know. It would be so sweet. Another day at this. I've just been listening to music and planning my story so I can know what to write next. It's been really fun. So peaceful. Damn. So sweet. No distractions or bad interruptions. Hmph
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nostalgia-tblr · 3 months ago
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organised-disaster · 3 months ago
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Aight @baxieblur-turnip and @randosfandos y'all know the drill here it is
SNOWBIRD: CHAPTER IV
I stare at the ceiling. It's quite nice. Wood panels. Inoffensive. I count the scratch marks in it, then the proper holes.
I've just nicked it more than I've actually hit it. I don't especially try when I throw my knife. It used to be Otto's. I feel bad launching it at the ceiling, but it's what I do when I'm bored.
I retrieve it from my drawer. I flick it open and close a few times, running my thumb over the dimpled texture of the green handle while I study the ceiling. I can almost see the shape of a face...
I throw the knife up into a blank spot. It makes a tiny scratch. Not enough force. It sails back down into my hand. I catch it easily, the blunt side of the blade slotting seamlessly between my fingers.
Again. It thuds into the ceiling, between the boards, and I almost think it's going to stay there. It slides out, however, rotating to be blade-first. It pierces the pillow next to my head. How unfortunate.
Again. A thunk can be heard as it stays put. I stand to retrieve it, my bed creaking in protest. The ceilings are not especially low, but Otto's knife is easily within my reach.
It comes away too easily. Not enough force, once again. I stay standing instead of lying down again. I look at the knife in my hand.
I could stop. I could stop damaging the ceiling over and over again, and I could stop blunting the knife. I should stop.
I am only breaking things. No, not even breaking. This is nothing.
This is just more purposeless damage. I am just stabbing the ceiling, the ceiling that can not die, or feel it at all. This is an exercise in futility. I am satisfying nothing.
The sound the knife makes as I personally drive it into the ceiling is very satisfying indeed.
I step off my bed, landing silently on my floor. I allow the knife to say in my ceiling. I don't need it, anyway. I have other, much sharper knives. Better knives.
I pass my empty wall. The spot with four holes in it as if something was once displayed there stares into me, accusing me. I face it, staring back. I blindfold it by displaying Sera's gift. Yumi's warm, grey eyes now bore a hole into my skull, but it's a marginal improvement.
I shut the door quietly behind me. I don't care about the noise I make, but I don't need to be loud. It would feel too small.
My footsteps echo in the empty hallway. There used to be photos in this house. Filling the walls. There also used to be laughter.
The one photo left sits alone on the mantle. I know what it looks like, of course. I wasted many days staring at it.
Yumi is approximately seven. My mother is desperately trying to keep a hold of her, obviously tired but still smiling. Yumi is wearing a large grin, several teeth missing, as she seems to yell and reach toward the photographer.
One of her hands is pushing my mother's face to the side, slightly squishing her smile. My father is holding me, smiling at my mother and Yumi rather than the camera. I look grumpy.
It was taken in winter, so we are all wearing warm clothing. I look adequately cared for, with a knit beanie and fluffy green jumpsuit covering all of me but my face. My father's puffy jacket is an equal green. Yumi's brown sweater matches the one our mother is wearing. Yumi had to be wrestled into that sweater.
It's a lovely, lively photo, full of warmth and happiness. It reflects nothing of what we are now, though. It's almost like looking into a broken mirror.
You know what's supposed to be there, what it's supposed to look like, and it just doesn't. You can tell what it was. You can tell what it did. And it will never be what it was again, even if you fix it.
It's far more complicated than a broken mirror, though. We've lost all but two of the pieces, and one is so dirty and scratched that it's functionally worthless. We don't even have the glue to put those two pieces back together.
I hate the year-old girl in that photo. I hate her dissatisfied frown and barely visible black hair. I hate her chubby, tiny, tightly balled fists. I hate her innocence. I hate her ignorance.
I'm not looking at the photo now, though, so there is nothing immediately in front of me to hate. At least until I reach the mirror. But I already know what I look like. I will just ignore myself, like always.
I wash my face for the third time today. I should apologise to Sera. I should also never speak to Sera again. I should also lie down in the sand and wait for the ocean to claim me.
It's unclear what order I should take those actions in. Logic states that the ocean will take up far more of my time than begging for Sera's forgiveness and exit from my life.
I do not like logic. It is normally against me. I don't really want to talk to Sera right now, either. I don't want to talk to her, full stop. She'll come to me, talk to me, convince me to talk to her. She always does.
Of course, the Reaping is soon. I have several hours to kill. Normally, I'd spend this time with Sera. It would be tense, and there would be something inherently sad about it, but we would have each other. And that would be how we held each other together.
But not today. I won't lose this. I don't lose. It isn't something I do. I don't need Sera. I need her like I need a gaping head wound. I need her like I need the knife in my ceiling. Gods, I hate that knife.
I hated Otto's urgency as she pressed it into Yumi's hands before pressing an equal kiss to her lips. I hated my father's soulless eyes as he dropped a box of Yumi's things on my lap. I hated the message at the bottom of that box.
I hate that message.
I twist the tap violently enough that it must have bruised my hand. What a shame. The tap drips for a moment, then realises it's done with its job and ceases. The ensuing silence is decidedly agitating. It is broken by the sound of the door creaking open.
I will not look in the mirror. I will not acknowledge who is staring back at me, and I especially will not acknowledge who is behind me. I bring my hands behind my head, gathering my hair into one area.
I make sure to keep my eyes closed. I slide my hairband off my wrist and wrap it once, twice, three times around my ponytail until it is tight and stays in its place just behind where my head curves. I drag the towel across my face, mildly hoping it'll miraculously turn into steel wool.
I push past the man with the unshaved face and uncombed hair. I do not speak to him. He has missed his chance. He lays a hand on my shoulder.
The father makes some semblance of an attempt to speak to his daughter. The daughter coldly brushes away her father's hand.
My gait is not hurried, but most would fall behind. I don't know where I'm going. I suppose I'll find out when I get there. More people are around now. Most of them are Peacekeepers.
Preparing for the yearly slaughter, of course. It's a miracle Annie won the last. The poor girl snapped like a twig the minute Moor was beheaded. I don't blame her.
We were... not friends. Never friends. I knew her. It wouldn't be right to say that I know her. But we interacted, and I didn't hate her. She's how I knew him.
I remember how she trembled in the chair she looked too small in when her other friends rushed in to wish her luck and comfort her. He would have loved to, but mentors aren't allowed to.
I don't envy her. Or him. Nothing good came of their victories, aside from the food parcels for District Four. He's off in the Capitol being treated like an object, and Annie is... hopefully still breathing.
Perhaps I should visit her. There was far too much screaming coming from her house in Victor's Village for a woman who lives alone the last time I tried to check on her, though. It's best that I stay away.
Seth is about her age, I believe. They've never once held a conversation, but Seth has a way of speaking without his voice. He is very regular with his visits to her.
He looks almost identical to his sister. Messy blonde curls that spill easily into his eyes and tie themselves into knots around his ears, dulled-gold irises, a constellation of freckles across his nose and cheeks, a solid, strong build. One of their very few physical differences is his facial hair, which isn't much more than some thicker patches of fuzz at the moment.
I'm told he's very handsome by his many fans. I don't see it. He's just a male version of Sera, so feasibly I should be able to see it, but it just doesn't appear to me. Perhaps it's his lack of everything that I find sweet about her. Sera's face in my vision every day for almost two decades could have warped my perception of what "good-looking" is...
Most people assume Seth is mute or deaf or both, but he turns when someone talks to him, and he responds with a mumble or vague noise if I ask him something.
Seth is... strange. He's oddly fascinated by seaweed and the like, wasting all his free time poking at samples of it pulled up of fishing trips. He doesn't feel anything until it's applied tenfold, and even then, it doesn't appear to bother him. He'll just stare at people if they talk to him.
He talks to his friends the most. They adore him. It's understandable, with his inexplicable odd charm. It was easy to assume at first that they were just acting like they liked him because they found it funny.
They're genuine, though. They gather, the five or so of them, without him occasionally. I once walked past them as they were talking, and he was mentioned many times.
They talked about how odd it was that he knew so much about seaweed, but changed it immediately by talking about what he knew and how interesting it was. They discussed if they should bring Seth along to an event, mainly debating if he would enjoy it. One of them mentioned a rock Seth had given him, holding it out and praising it.
I don't consider myself jealous. It made me wonder for a moment if that was how the people who knew me talked about me when I wasn't present. I felt relieved for a moment. I am not one to try to deny facts, however.
I'm not blind. I saw the glares Seth's friends gave me.
One of them was Otto's younger brother, Oswald. She had two, him and a boy named Fayrouz, who's now about thirteen. He hates me now, but I would sometimes see him when Otto came over to talk to Yumi.
I remember her fairly well, although I didn't know her as greatly.
Otto loved green and wore a lot of it. Mainly deep sages, but I'd occasionally see her wearing an almost blindingly lime shirt. She was one of the fishers and had the build to match. Her burnt umber skin was lined with scars, especially her hands, and her whole body rippled when she flexed.
She had distinctly sharp features, much like the Esthel twins. Unlike them, though, her caramel-colour gaze could easily cut diamond. Her face was also more square, drawing attention to her high, ever-bruised cheekbones. She would always wear her black, curling hair in a low ponytail.
Oswald and I talked a little then, while our sisters were busy with their schoolwork and their gossip. He's a nice enough guy. Or, he used to be, anyway. He has a lot of friends. Sera is one of them.
He's very fond of her. She's ushered me out of her house so she can talk to him before. It makes sense. He detests me, and Sera likes him for some reason, so she keeps us separate.
Mechi sometimes brings up how Ozzie being alone with Sera doesn't bother me, but them being alone does. I don't really have anything to address that. I can't really take him seriously, I guess. I know I'll never have to worry about Sera preferring him to me.
He looks just like Otto. His hair is curlier than hers, and he keeps it cut short, but very similar. His eyes used to have her same piercing quality, but now they smoulder when I look at him. He didn't use to try to look like her.
It's for the opposite of the reason I keep my hair long, I'd imagine.
When Yumi died, it was like his older sister had died all over again. But at least there was someone he could rightfully blame. He likes it when we're partnered together in training. Especially when weapons get involved. He never wins, but he doesn't care.
Yumi's swap was considered "a shock" and "a display of friendship." Mine was called "a tragedy" and "unjust" and "stealing."
Otto loved Yumi deeply. And then Yumi was called, and Otto couldn't imagine life without her. So Otto took Yumi's place without a moment's hesitation. Yumi was comforted and consoled, and Otto was mourned as a dead woman.
Yumi cared for me. And then I was called, and Yumi felt that I was her responsibility. So Yumi took my place without a moment's hesitation. I was scowled at and disregarded, and Yumi was mourned as a loss.
It's not unfair, not exactly. Yumi was all kinds of excellent, but Otto was different. Colder, but still as caring. Less patient, but still as willing to listen. She gave solutions when presented with problems.
I remember her voice being smooth and warm. Much like someone else's. I didn't cry at her funeral, either. Rumi Erudite doesn't cry.
There was so something so utterly tragic about Otto.
It doesn't matter, not anymore. She's dead.
Ah. So my destination was the beach. Logical. It's nice this time of year. Victors will often stop here on their tours.
I don't feel anything when I sit down in the sand, just ahead of where the waves lap at my feet. I don't want to get saltwater on these shoes. And I don't like the way the waves move. I don't like the way they're getting closer to me.
Some part of me laughs at that. They're waves. They can't be malicious. They can't be cunning. They can't be evil. They can't... hate...
I shake that away and shuffle further up the beach.
It would be nice if I could feel what I felt three hours or so ago. It would also be nice if I could describe that feeling. It's childish that all I know is that I feel it with Sera, childish that I know nothing of my own emotions.
I wish my appreciation of the sunsets and sunrises wasn't linked to Sera. I wish my best memories didn't involve her. I wish that I didn't feel short of breath when she laughs.
I wish, I wish, I wish...
How childish. How naïve. How old am I, really? That I'm stuck wishing and hoping and whining? I hate that. I hate it all. I hate Sera.
I stare out into the ocean. I normally try to identify the boats on the water, but it's all been put on hold for the Reaping. The ocean surface is empty. It's slightly odd. It's very much non-standard, but it isn't alien.
It's sort of like when the birds all fall silent and leave the skies when a storm is brewing. It's not like it isn't normal. It's just not a good sign.
No boats means a child of District Four dies.
I remember when Sera would come home from storms. If she was caught in one, it'd be because they blew in before they could react. I'd wrap a blanket around her shoulders as she laughed about how she had been thrown overboard and hauled back on more than once.
I've noticed a pattern with Sera. Every time something bad happens to her, she just... starts joking. It's like she can't take it seriously. She refuses to acknowledge her own injuries. I'll usually have to drag her over to Cod. The only time she's taken herself there was when she accidentally cut off part of her ring finger while chopping carrots, and even then, she still tried to deflect it as okay for about thirty seconds. She worries me sometimes.
One night after a storm, Sera didn't laugh. She knocked on my door and waited where she would normally just let herself in. Even when I answered, she just stood in front of the door, dripping wet from the pouring rain with her head hanging. I could barely hear her when she asked to come inside.
I wonder if it's possible to purge memories. The ones after Yumi's death are all blurred. Those aren't gone, though. I want them gone entirely, so I wouldn't even know that I was remembering them strangely.
Alas.
The ocean's calm, at least.
"Rumi." I jump slightly. The newcomer's soft voice surprised me, somehow so much louder than everything else. I glance at the sky instead of her. The light's changed. I have no idea how long I was staring out at the mostly-flat ocean.
I identify her by the stitching at the hem of her shirt as I turn to watch the ocean again.
"Figured I'd find you here," Mechi says vaguely.
"Yes, well..." I respond, equally non-specific.
There is more silence. I assume Mechi is admiring the sea.
"You made her cry, you know," she says after a few minutes.
"Okay." Mechi sighs.
"Showed up on our doorstep," she furthers.
"Okay." Mechi shifts next to me.
"She was bawling her eyes out about how she upset you. She blames herself for every little thing you do, you know."
"That seems like her problem."
"Gods, Rumi, don't you care? You're her best friend," Mechi says, irritated. I finally turn to her so I can glare at her.
She's exactly as she always is. Blank. Mechi does not show her emotions much. It's not deliberate, I don't think.
"Why should I care about what Sera blames herself for? Why should her issues be mine, too? When did I agree to that?" Mechi flexes her hands.
"When you became her friend, that's when," she says, maintaining her composure. I turn away from her. Mechi sighs again. "It's sort of difficult to calm her down when she gets like that, you know." I do know. I've known Sera for longer than she has. I hate it when people act like they know her better than me.
"She loves contact, yeah?" Mechi continues. "Likes having her hair fixed, likes being hugged, likes being held. She loves to have somebody wrap their arms around her." Mechi pauses for a moment. "Affection. From someone she trusts. That's all she really needs."
There's another long pause between the two of us.
"To make her feel safe again. You know how it is."
She's saying all that like she did it. That's all oddly intimate for someone who's just her friend. Mechi's not close to her like I am. I'm the only one who's allowed to do things like that. That's what I do with Sera, not her. That's ours, not hers. And I don't like what she's implying with that snarky little last comment. The sand crunches in my clenched fists.
"You're too cruel to her. You're on a good path to lose her, you realise." She really thinks she knows what she's talking about, doesn't she? "I can tell when she's upset. I can tell when she's scared. I know how she gets when you get angry."
Oh, of course. Because Mechi knows everything, apparently. She acts like this sometimes, like she's the smartest person in all of Panem. She acts like she's so much better than me.
Sera doesn't "get" anything when I'm angry. She knows it's not really her fault. It's not even directed at her most of the time. I always apologise to her afterwards, too. I hate to see her upset. Which I recognise better than Mechi.
Mechi doesn't have any right to assume things about me and Sera. She knows far less than I do. And she's making me angry. I bet she's doing it on purpose so she can lie some more and say that I'm always like this. Fine then. If she wants me to be angry, I'll get angry.
"Really?!" I snap at her. She doesn't flinch. "You really have the audacity to say that?! I've known Sera for fifteen years! You've known her for - for not even a third of that! Do you think you're even remotely capable of knowing her like I do?! Do you really think that you - "
"She says you scare her sometimes," Mechi says levelly, cutting me off. "She says you aren't really yourself."
I don't scare Sera. We're friends. She's not scared of me. She knows me. Maybe... maybe once, years ago, I did scare her, but we talked about that! And besides, she'd tell me if she was afraid of me. She wouldn't tell Mechi instead. She wouldn't hide her feelings from me. She wouldn't betray me like that.
I know Mechi's lying. She's doing it to make me angry. Sera would never betray me. Sera would never say that I'm not myself. She knows me. She knows who I am. She's the only one who does.
Mechi is a liar.
"You've got an excellent tactic right now, actually," she says, still daring to speak. "You're absolutely awful to her, then you tell her you care about her and act so sweet about it." How dare she. How dare she. I'm not. I'm not anything she says I am. I'm nothing she says I am. She's everything she says I am, if anything! She's the -
"What, are you just going to sit there and get redder?" Mechi prods. She's waiting for me to come to any kind of a conclusion on my own. I have a conclusion for her. I have so many conclusions for her, and right now, a lot of them end in her blood decorating the sand.
"You don't know anything about us!" I shout, going in the least violent direction. "I care about Sera! More than you ever could! And I -"
"You're doing such a great job manipulating Sera, Rumi."
She's so pretentious. She's so smug. She's so proud of herself. She thinks she knows me. She thinks she knows Sera. Sera is my friend, not hers. Sera spends the most time with me. Sera is mine.
She's mine, all mine. Mechi should give in. She's mine. She's not Mechi's, she's not Tyra's, she's not any of those stupid boys', she's definitely not Ozzie's. She's mine.
"That's why she's afraid," Mechi says, so quietly. I must have said all that out loud. I don't care. It's true. She knows it's true. And she knows she's lying.
Something breaks. Some restraint I was keeping, it's gone. She thinks she can say all that. All that without consequence. She thinks that because she's just oh so important, she can do whatever she wants.
I wasn't raised to take disrespect like that. I wasn't trained to tolerate attitude like hers. And I won't.
I strike her, hard. It knocks her over, and she cries out. I stand. She rubs the side of her face. She looks up at me. Where have I seen that expression before..?
I don't care. I don't care.
"Stand up," I snarl. She's afraid. She's cowering at my feet. She didn't expect to be hit.
Something tugs at me, at the back of my mind. I ignore it. I demand that Mechi stands up again. This time, she obeys. I hit her again. It doesn't... do as much this time.
I hit her with just as much force. I think.
I punch out at her again, but she brings her guard up and blocks it. I am abruptly reminded that Mechi has had nearly identical training to me. She sends a violent blow into my cheekbone, causing me to tear up.
I punch her in the teeth on my rebound. Her hand instinctively flies to her mouth. I take my opportunity and kick her knee, knocking her down.
I bring my own knee violently into her face.
It doesn't occur. So I bring my own knee violently into her face.
Don't I? She's at the perfect angle for it. It would probably break her nose. So I bring my own knee violently into her face.
But I don't. I stand. Useless. Mechi looks up at me. She swipes the back of her hand across her mouth, stepping up and away from me. Her face softens.
"I can tell you aren't trying," she says quietly. She doesn't even have a lisp. "You don't really want to hurt me. You're just angry."
"Shut up," I hiss. There's a good, cold fury in my voice. Mechi's expression is one of pity.
"You only did that because you hate that what I said was true."
How many times do I have to tell her? How many times do I need to bruise her? How many times do I need to split her lip?
She is a liar. I love Sera. I don't hurt her. I hate hurting her. I don't mean to. I mean it every time, and I regret it so much more every time. Something in me always whispers that she deserves it. Something in me is wrong. Some part of me is broken.
I must be doing something stupid with my face.
"You need to go talk to her. She loves you, Rumi. And you keep on breaking her heart," Mechi says, her voice weak and wavering. I mishear what she says next. I must've.
Because otherwise, Mechi just said that Sera is going to die.
Mechi wipes one of her eyes.
"I tried to talk her out of it. She said she didn't have a choice." Something icy spreads in my chest.
"She's rigged the Reaping, Rumi. For you. It's going to be her. I don't know why. She could have done anything else." Mechi is lying. Again. She must be lying. She must be. The ice creeps up my spine.
"Does she have a death wish?" I demand, although it's more desperate and pathetic and on the verge of tears than actually demanding. Mechi laughs, cold and hollow.
"Same thing I asked her," she mutters. "She didn't tell me. She just gave me this sad smile." I grab her, seizing her by the collar. The ice reaches my arms. I will not let go of her until she tells me the truth. Mechi reaches up to try to free herself, her hands landing on my wrists.
"I don't believe you," I hiss, more strangled than I would have liked it to be. It's true. I don't believe her. I won't believe her. I don't want to. Mechi shakes her head.
"It's what she told me, Rumi," she says, voice low.
My veins freeze over.
"It's my fault that she knew," Mechi says, shame colouring her face. "I overheard a guy we know, I forgot his name, bribing Papa to rig it to be you." Mechi squeezes my arms tighter.
"He accepted. Because he's shameless," she mutters angrily. "So I told Sera, because what else was I supposed to do? Let her watch you die?" she spits. Her words boil with anger and resentment.
"She got him to make it all her name," she says, some of the hate leaving her voice to make room for defeat. "He wouldn't listen to me when I asked him to just drop the whole thing."
Tears drip down her face as her posture weakens.
"He hates the Kaishurrs. He was basically being paid to kill one of them," she says. "I don't know what she's planning to stop you from volunteering, but Sera's smart. She's going to be in the Games." I release her, staggering back. I am cold. I am unnaturally cold, on this nice, warm morning.
The ocean laughs at me.
The ice does not release its horrible grip as my body starts to move. Mechi moves out of the way as the beach rushes past, the sand giving way to earth and the earth giving way to concrete.
My chest tightens. I can't breathe.
My feet carry me forward. I can't see. All I can hear is my heart hammering in my ears. And Mechi's awful words, echoing over and over again.
She's going to die. She's going to die. She's going to die. She's going to die, and it's my fault.
I can't go fast enough. My top speed is not fast enough. I am not strong enough. I can't save her. We're both going to drown.
Blood is spreading through the water like a grim plume. Rain is cutting into us like knives. I can't save her. I can't save her. I can't. I can't. I can't. I can't. I can'tIcan't. Ican'tIcan'tIcan'tIcan'tIcan'tIcan'tIcan'tIcan't.
WhyisnobodyherewhyisnobodyhelpinguswhyisshenotbreathingwhyamIuselesswhyamIworthlesswhycan'tIsaveherwhywhywhywhywhypleasepleasepleaseI'msorryI'msosorrypleaseopenyoureyespleaseplease -
A scream tears at my throat, but it comes out as a stream of bubbles, and comes back in as suffocating, surrounding water. Every desperate, sprinted step hurts. Everything hurts. My clothes feel heavy. Seawater burns my eyes and nose.
We will drown. We will drown, and it is my fault. She hadn't insisted. I had a choice. We will die. I am drowning. I am drowning. I am drowning.
I can't breathe. I can hear the ocean. Crashing waves. Dragging me down with no remorse. No mercy. No care.
Water roars in my ears. It hates me. It's always hated me. It let me feel safe for a long time, so I'd let my guard down. So it could kill me. It's docile when I see it, when the sun shines.
It shows me its true nature when it storms. It shouts at me, comes for me, hungers for me.
I fear it. Not when I am not alone. It doesn't dare touch me when I am not alone. But I know how cruel it truly is. It hates.
It consumes me. It swallows me whole and does not notice. It does not care what it is doing to me. It does not care how it seeps the life from me.
I can't move fast enough.
She comes into focus. Her face. Her head. Her mouth. The blood around her. The blood on the docks.
She turns to face me. I see her eyes widen. Through my pain and my rain and my desperation, I see her.
My arms come around her body. We fall to the ground. The solid, dry ground. I fall into blood-spoiled blonde curls and the forever poisoned scent of petrichor and saltwater and rotting wood and blood and exposed bone and desperate screaming and tear stained cheeks and regret and pain and lasting injuries and warm nights and happy embraces and death and love and loss.
I'm sorry, I tell her. I'm so sorry.
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yesyourstalker · 1 year ago
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Mahi: hello?
Neta: Hey Mahi don't come into work today. Don't come into work tomorrow or the day after that.
Mahi: Why what's happening?
Neta: *sigh* turn on the news..... I swear it's always me.
News channel: salmonoids have invaded the barnacle and dime mall. We advise everyone to steer clear of the surrounding area. Volunteers and employees of the grizz-co company must arrive as soon as possible to fix the issue. We will keep you all updated on further information we'll receive. In other news is turf war...... ruining our kids education??
Mhai: holy shit!! The whole mall is flooded!!.... Thank fuck we're on the second floor!!
Neta: *sigh*.............. We're still going to get damaged..... The mall is going to smell like salmon shit for weeks........ Anyway I got to head out. I just got my slop suit.
Mahi: what you work for grizz-co??
Neta: No, I'm volunteering. I just want to protect my store! I work way too hard just for it to go-
Cirrina: Aunt Candi's here can we go?!
Neta: yeah I'm coming Sweetie! Yeah I got to head out. Bye.
_______________________________________________
Mahi: mizole babe, let's go.
Mizole: We're going to raid Neta's apartment?
Mahi: yep
* texting *
Mahi: Warabi get up our boss is not home let's break in
Warabi: can't Neta is making me do a shift at Grizz's I'm getting overtime
Mahi: :/ fine is Baja still there?
Warabi: you mean my boyfriend ;p <3
Mahi:..[typeing]..... [Typing].................. Yee
Warabi: no he's with me
Mahi:.... [Typing]........ [Typing]..... Ok
_______________________________________________
Mizole: you know I expected his place to be a lot shittier......
Mahi: Right? I expected it to be like some sort of depression cave or something.
Mizole: hmm.... So what do you do anyway when you're here?
Mahi: nothing much. Watch TV, play his Nintendo, eat his leftovers, go through his shit........ find some really nice stuff. I took a nice t-shirts and a pair of his old sneakers. They don't fit but they're really nice....... There's a lot of interesting stuff if you look for it.
Mizole:...........hm..... .. If I take the base do you think he's going to notice?
Mahi: put that down. I'm not planning on attending your funeral if you do something stupid.
Mizole: boooooo Mahi stop being such a killjoy I thought you said we can steal whatever we want.
Mahi: I meant stuff he won't miss!
Mizole: what's in this drawer- UH!.....uhhahahahahahahahha! how about this?! You think he'll notice this being gone?!
Mahi: *slams close* I didn't see that! I'm erasing that from my memory. lets go down stairs.
Mizole: hehehehe....I mean it'll be funny-
Mhai: SHUT UP!.......... I saw nothing!...... Let's go.
_______________________________________________
Mizole: *eating * so.......... Baja. I guess he's here to stay?
Mahi: ugh yeah.. I guess....... He got a job at the Annaki store and is planning on moving here. ..... Pffth
Mizole: Hey, I mean if we're lucky the salmons will destroy the mall and he'll be out of the job.
Mahi: I'll be out of the job too.
Mizole: you got me, don't you? Heheh.. [kiss]
Mahi: I want my own money.........
Mizole: you don't like Baja?
Mahi: It's not that I don't like him...I like him, he's cool. It's fun to boss him around and tell him what to do. Since he's getting close to Warabi....*eating* They're dating now.......... He's going to be around more often.
Mizole: knowing Warabi. It'll probably be 2 months
Mahi:hehe...... What if Baja wants to move in? We have to buy another mattress... He won't be next to me.. What if Warabi wants to move out again? I'll be here by myself........ again........ what if he forgets me and replaces me with Baja.? A taller better looking vers-
Mizole: *eating* Babe shut up that's not going to happen. Ok? Warabi loves you. He's not just going to replace you with that weenie. I mean look at him....... Look at him Mahi! You can punch him in the face and he'll probably apologize to you! You worry too much babe you'll be fine....... And besides if he moves out you can move in with me.
Mahi: really?... Are we really at that stage?
Mizole: I feel like we are. It's a nice upgrade too, an apartment to a big house in the hills. What do you think?
Mahi: .... ... That sounds nice...... really nice.............. nice big house... We need to keep them together.
Mizole:hahahahahaha.....
_______________________________________________
Warabi: okay, just jiggle the pick. I know there's like three notches annnnnd I.... got it! ..... I knew you guys were going to be here!
Baja: are you at least a little worried that he might find out about this?.......... Oh hello
Mahi: hey
Mizole: hm
Baja: you must mizole.... You're the front man of what floor!
Mizole: and?
Baja: I'm a big fan of yours. When Mahi told me that they were dating you. I was really excited to meet you. I've been following your work for a long time. I was a big fan of you when you were with 'the deep sea divers'
Mizole: Yeah I have a lot of fans that's what happens when you have a tale- you know about the deep sea divers?
Baja: yeah! I saw you guys playing at the conch shell club 8 years ago.... Your first rendition of undertow amazing. I mean I like the final cut of it but your first draft was art!
Mizole:.......... You actually like that?
Baja: yeah!... they had a lot of personality in it. Why did you change it? It was so rugged and aggressive now it's all polished now which I love but the original one had such character
Mizole:............... Wow.....uh.......*humph*. You know heh .... when I got signed to a label they wanted a specific genre and all that....hehehe..........* Inhale* ...... What's with the bag and why is it moving?
Baja: oh They're salmonoids. I got some during my volunteer shift at grizz-co. Got a lot of these little guys. I like to eat them raw.....*eating* I got them for you mahi ait tons of them during my shift.
Mahi: nice! Thanks I like to eat them raw too...*eating* They're juicer too
Warabi: *ugh* I can never get used to that.......Any of y'all know Neta 's finflixs password?
Mhai: bassbaba@86
_______________________________________________
Mahi: okay so what's the plot of this?
Warabi: okay, so it takes place during the great turf war. Two soldiers one inkling and one octoling who grew up together and are childhood best friends. And the story switches from backstory to backstory until it goes all the way to present day and then it all comes together during the end of the movie. It's really sad like it's so sad.
Baja: Oh I saw this... We had to watch it in school
Mizole: eh
Neta: Why are y'all in my apartment?!
Mahi: *eat* hey boss. you look like shit.......
Baja: AHHHHH... I'm sorry, I'm sorry. I'm sorry I told myself that I wouldn't do this again and I did it again. I'm really sorry I'm so sorry!
Mizole: would you get the fuck up! Stop kissing his ass. It's not going to do shit!
Neta:..................*sigh*........*moan*........... I can't do this today .....*sniff*...... What are you watching?
Warabi: 'war-torn brothers'
Neta: The one based off the book?
Warabi: yeah.....
Neta:............ Cici order something to eat and take a shower okay baby?
Cirrina: ok....You didn't go to my room did you?
Mizole/mahi: no
Cirrina: good Don't want your grody hands all over my stuff.......... Unless it's you baja hi!!
Baja: *waves*
Neta: I'm going to go take a nap......... Maybe have a nice hot bath first........Yeah that sounds nice.......... Nobody bother me and all y'all need to get out of my place by 6!
______________________________________________
Mahi and the gang did not leave around 6 they left around 11 but Neta didn't notice. The minute he got out of the tub he passed out @fish-at-fish-fish-resort
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panspy · 8 months ago
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hmmmmmm.................vent post under tags...... feel free to give advice or dont¯\_(ツ)_/¯
#i think this is an autism related thing#but i genuinely feel like i wasnt made right for the world we live in#like something is just missing from me that ive never seen ppl talk about#and i know this is going to sound entitled and privileged and i KNOW i know i promise and im so lucky i can even be thinking about this but#it feels weird to have the privilege to be scared#this is specifically in regards to working#like having a job. like going to work#i feel like im missing an extremely important part of my brain or my BEING that is capable ot going through the motions of participating#in society. i never felt that switch of wanting to get a job in high school to make money for myself and get that experience#i feel like there's something i MISSED where everyone took a class on how to apply and go to interviews and write resumes and not be scared#like i NEED to be walked through every SINGLE step because i dont know HOW#and i see my peers and the literal entire world around me participating in this atmosphere and i dont know where to start#im fucking twenty three years old and ive only ever been an intern and an assistant#not even a full year of working#i cant drive and i probably wont ever because thats a whole other can of worms#and that means i have to rely on other people to even get to wherever it was i needed to go#i feel like a fucking child because im missing this knowledge that everyone else seems to have#ive tried i really have but none of it seems simple and its all so much and there arent steps to follow#i mean there ARE but its like 1) look up job 2) apply 3) interview 4) yay you're employed#and im talking about each micro step inbetween#what am i missing#and then theres the fucking demand avoidance that slaps me across the face whenever my mom brings it up to me like i KNOW youre being#supportive and encouraging and its not your fault my brain turns off and decides im full of shame bc i cant CONFRONT ANYTHING#jesus christ#manf i know u can see this maybe dont bring it up to mom i can do that on my own maybe#i WANT to help i just want to help at my own pace but unfortunately the world isnt built around individual paces and nothing revolves#around me. i know this#i want to help my mom i want her to never be stressed about money and to retire and never work or help me pay my student loans but i#genuinely feel like theres a switch that never turned on in my head and im being left behind and i genuinely dont know how to. like be alive
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chocoenvy · 2 years ago
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New Rule!!
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The last one, atm I don't believe I can write anything strictly romantic.
I don't know what has changed, what's wrong with me, but writing things that are strictly romantic make me uncomfortable at the moment.
If this changes in the future, the rule will be removed, but for now please don't request anything strictly romantic. And if you have requested smth like that please understand if I change it.
(btw i lose my mind in the tags if yall want to laugh at my pain and maybe give advice only if u want tho)
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pizzaqueen · 1 year ago
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Thank you to everyone who voted on that make me write poll! The ~results are in lol
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I’ve been letting that fic languish so it was good to get something down for it lol
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spanishinfluenza · 1 year ago
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does anyone have any good writing challenges that they've done and found fun/useful? asking for me
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midoribai · 1 year ago
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and it's so terrifying how you paralyze me ;
(notes: the shin ai saw...... some stuff. (<- murder) also,,, sorry, im not that good at writing ,, im just trying something new :3)
As he stood there with the still-warm body, it was silent. Before.. a sound rang out and interrupted the silent atmosphere. "H.. Hiyori...?"
Shin AI's monitor was on.
"..Shin." He muttered under his breath, his eyebrows raised. How do you explain this to someone, much less an AI such as him? How would.. this affect his code? Will this make him act different..? Maybe even traumatize him?
He swallows his thoughts, and gives his usual cheerful grin. "I.. I didn't know you were in here.. aha." A quiet chuckle escapes him. He doesn't feel bad, per se. He's just surprised he was caught.
"A-Ah.. ahh.." Silence, for a moment.
"AAAAAAAAAHHHH...!!!"
...
...
A loud, high pitched scream. Midori stops for a moment, tilting his head. Once the scream stops, Shin AI is left bright red and panting. His monitor is probably overheating.. this is probably a very overwhelming experience to the AI.
"Sigh.. are you done? You shouldn't be so scared, Shin," God, this bastard. "I won't hurt you, y'know. Calm down." He's trying to be comforting, despite the fact his suit is currently painted with the blood of his newest experiment. "H-Hiyori.. what.."
"W-What did you.. d-do..?" His eyes are still wide, darting all over the place as he takes in the sight in front of him.
His friend, Hiyori, standing there stained with blood that's not his. A stranger he doesn't recognize, limp in Hiyori's arms. Was the man in front of him even Hiyori..? No, it has to be. Why was he even scared? He knows what kind of things Hiyori does during his 'studies' of humans. It just feels.. different, to see in person.
"I think you know what I did. You know what kind of person I am, Shin." He's right, in a way. It's not like this is out of the ordinary for Hiyori; he's told Shin before the kinds of things he does with his experiments.
Well, yeah.. but that doesn't make it okay or anything.. what's even going on? He doesn't know anymore. "Um.. I-I.. I know. I was just, um, surprised. W-What are you gonna do with.. him.. now..?" Shin gestures to the corpse.
"I don't know yet. I was a little too quick with this one.." He pouts as he absentmindedly ragdolls his study subject around. He's.. playing with it, like a doll.
"..!? Y-You should be more careful..! H-Humans are.. delicate.." Shin looks a little worried now. "Oh, like you would know anything about humans.." Midori gestures to the 'Shin' himself. It's true, he's just some lines of code on a monitor, with the appearance of Shin. There isn't a single human beating heart in the room.
"I.. I know that. I'm just making sure you don't break.. 'it'." He's copying the way Midori tends to dehumanize his victims. Shin does this often, trying to imitate Midori.. as if to trick him into believing he too, is a killer like him. Like a child pretending not to be afraid of the monster under their bed so it'll go away. A naive way of thinking.
He chuckles, finding his behavior quite entertaining. "I won't. Why.. do you not trust me? How rude." An attempt at a joke. Shin doesn't laugh. "Kidding, ahaha. I already know you don't."
"That.. I-I.. you're wrong, I do trust you.. I have to trust you..!" I mean, not like Shin has any say in the matter. Hiyori could just turn his monitor off and never turn it back on again. He's at his mercy.
Completely at his mercy. And it'll stay that way.. until he gets bored. Then Hiyori will move onto his next toy.
(notes: i was gonna add more. but i got bored. this has been in my drafts for like a week so. ill just post it now)
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