#i just feel that publically at least I Am Aroace

[thestarmaker]

ayyyy we're nearing the 2-year mark of deciding I'm just fully aroace

[island-ofthelost]

My Actual opinion on Five's sexuality

I've gotten into many a fight in my ask box about this, but I don’t think that I've ever shared my opinion in depth, so here I go *mentally prepares for war*

I do not think Five is 100%, completely aroace. For some reason, whenever I say this people take it as me saying that I think he's 100% allo, which has gotten me hate from one side and weird praise from the other for giving them "permission" to sexualize Five.

I find it hard to believe that these supposed members of the ace community (although I doubt all of them are) seem to be allergic to nuance and considering other identities when it comes to headcanoning aroace characters, it isn't all or nothing, so to speak.

That being said, I think Five is gray/demiromantic and asexual. The reason I think this is because Five clearly felt genuine romantic love for Dolores, but I don't think he would feel that way about anyone else, at least not anytime soon, and I don't think sex was ever part of it, he never wanted it to be, and the way his age/body disconnect is it would be weird in any situation, but I don't think he would be interested regardless.

I think a lot of people in the fandom like to headcanon Five as completely aroace because the thing with Dolores "was a trauma response" or "was psychological" or "wasn't really romantic love" and these have some merit because it's obviously open to interpretation, but my qualm is that I think some people don't actually believe this and just say that because the whole situation is yes, frankly, very weird. But I think either way it invalidates the feelings of this character to serve a headcanon.

But what's worse is people ignoring Dolores all together because "it's icky", and don't even bat an eye at Luther and Allison or any of the other wild things with romance going on in this show.

And if anyone thinks that I'm speaking over anybody and this should be within the ace community, I am on both the aromantic and asexual spectrums. I rarely share that on public posts because I haven't found an exact label and I am frankly not the most comfortable with it, so consider this a coming out I guess?

Idk, I hope ya'll enjoyed my yapfest/impromptu essay, and if anyone's interested in me making a longer, more in depth, and well researched essay (mayhaps in video format if I'm able), I'd be down.

(I am also praying to the tumblr gods that I will not wake up with a billion notifications having started a war)

[gmanwhore]

Ok ok. My personal headcanons on the neighbours. These are the guys who live in Sunshine Terrace, my version of the apartment. I am using visual clues and also what I find personally interesting. I am also putting my sexuality and gender (and pronouns) headcanons here because I CAN. Warning for period relevant bigotry, especially with Gloria, mentions of SA for Francis, mentions of murder for Mclooy, mentions of grooming also for Mclooy, and mentions of suicide. Also for Mclooy.

Roman: (he/him, she/her ONLY to Lois, Trans woman lesbian and HEAVILY closeted.)

Ok so. He works as a public accountant so I am assuming he makes enough to be comfortable and afford his apartment and some nice things for him and his wife. He looks serious and roughed up, so I do believe he grew up in a rougher part of town and managed to work his way through college to have a more comfortable job. He wears pretty well the exact same suit as Arnold so I think they have some similarities in temperament. He loves his wife, he obviously buys her at least one outfit that's high fashion and I just like the idea of a gruff person having someone they truly feel comfortable around. He's still frugal with his money since he learned that from a young age (poor family) but he's responsible. Probably hides a lot of his emotions.

Lois: (she/her, cis lesbian) Lois has very big features. She's short but everything on her is big. Big lips, round body, whole thing. She's also wearing an outfit that is very high fashion for the time, pioneered by specifically a female designer, Coco Chanel. She I definitely see her as someone who is loud, never backs down, always speaks her mind, and knows a bit about everything. She is an acquired taste, sure, but she's bold and outgoing and LOVES to gossip. My high femme girlie. I also think she adores her husband. They are healthy.

Albertsky: (he/him, cis aroace man) Albertsky does his job and nothing more. His hard stare and solid, brick like design kind of lends itself to someone who knows what is good for him and what isn't. He has no time for extras, he does what he has to. Reliable, but isn't going to bend himself backwards for someone he doesn't care about. Also ties into Robertsky a bit but he is living with his brother for a) cost reasons b) ease and c) he is Robertsky's caretaker technically. There's no hard feelings there he does care about Robertsky.

Robertsky: (he/him, cis bisexual man) Robertsky is also blunt, but more in his actions and not his words. Personally I headcanon him as a semiverbal autistic person, which is a reason he lives with his brother. He's awkward in social settings but he really gets in his zone making shoes and that's what he likes to do. He's not all that rude either, just struggles with cues. It adds to his charm though because if he doesn't like someone or something he will avoid that, but if he likes someone or something you bet your lucky stars he's stuck to it like glue.

Angus: (he/him, cis bisexual man) Angus is a sleazeball. Look at him and tell me that guy isn't looking for a way to scam everyone he meets. He doesn't really care about other people, he only puts his own needs first and he thrives off attention, good or bad. He just sucks.

Elenois: (she/her, he/him (in drag) bisexual genderqueer person) Elenois, being the first on the file for 01-04 kind of lends herself to being the "older" twin, so I see her as being colder and less out there. She is still very dependent on Selenne and a lot of her life does revolve around being with her, but she has other things besides being the other Sverchtz twin. She values her own self expression, and that's why. Drag king. It allows her to express another part of herself without Elenois Sverchtz being affected by her decisions. She does care about her reputation, of course, she just needs freedom.

Selenne: (she/her, cis bisexual woman) Selenne is the more outgoing twin, but she's also the more clingy one. She takes her role as a twin to heart and struggles to not be just Selenne Sverchtz. So much of her life is centered around keeping Elenois happy and safe at the detriment of her own well being because she doesn't know anything else. She also takes her reputation very seriously and makes sure nothing can ruin it, even if it makes her upset. The Sverchtzs are just the Squid Sisters from Splatoon in this essay I will-

Arnold: (he/him, trans straight man) Arnold cares. So deeply. That's just an in game fact, instead of freaking out about his own safety he wants to ensure everyone is out and not eaten. He's friendly and outgoing, probably the guy you can go to about your problems and he'll give the advice he has. He loves Gloria the most, though, and her comfort and safety comes first for him. He's actually pretty trusting of others, though. He believes that most people are good.

Gloria: (she/her, trans demibisexual woman) Gloria is very quiet and reserved, not one to gossip or really do anything that would draw too much attention to her. She definitely comes from a rich family and has known a good amount of comfort her whole life, but isn't very trusting of others since she works in a sector where she is interacting with people or a regular basis in a time period where being any part of herself could get her hurt or killed. She does her job, she goes home, she talks to people she trusts and no one else. Arnold really balances her out, making sure she doesn't just lock herself in the apartment. She adores her husband, he is the safest person out there and he makes her smile.

Izaack: (he/him, cis gay asexual man) Izaack is a person who you think you know everything about. He's charming, kind, and sweet and sugar. He loves hearing all the gossip from the ladies, he loves updates of every kind, he just loves being in conversations! Then you realize you actually know nothing about him. He's never talked about himself. The kind, sweet man is a front, but not untrue. He just uses his personality as a shield so people can't get in to hurt him. He's heard he rumors about him and has a very hard time trusting people.

Margarette: (she/her, cis poly lesbian) Margarette gives me the vibes of just. So many older women in my life. She holds no punches and will complain about you, but she isn't afraid to do it to your face. Still, she always has a place for you and will listen to anything you need to tell her, hell, she'll drop off things you need without you asking because she knows damn well you aren't going to ask. She doesn't take shit from people and she doesn't take "oh I'm fine", she wants the people she cared about to be as happy as they can be. But still, she is very kind and is always thinking about you and always has a little treat or something soft for you. She cares deeply even if she's a bit crass about it. Also. Look at me. SHE IS AN OLDER WOMAN WHO IS A SEAMSTRESS AND ISN'T CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE AND SHE LIVES NEXT TO A SINGLE MOTHER. SHE IS A LESBIAN. SHE LIKES WOMEN.

Nacha: (he/she/they genderqueer lesbian) Nacha is an open book. She has spent SO MUCH of her life squishing herself into a box she is going to tell the doorman good morning every morning, she is going to laugh and cry and yell and live and she really doesn't care. She loves with her whole heart, which means if you break it, it hurts her more than anything. Still, if you can get past how loud she is she is wonderful to be around. She tries her best to accommodate people and tries very hard not to push but she gets easily frustrated when people don't show affection back (cough cough Francis) because she tries. So hard. She is the trier.

Anastacha: (she/her, doesn't know yet but there is a cute girl at her school...) Yeah Ana is an angsty teen who says "whatever" a lot but. But have you considered. She still wears pigtails that go out the side of her head and is also being raised by Nacha. She looks like her dad, but the main influence in her life is Nacha who doesn't want to have to regulate herself anymore. Anastacha is silly. She is playful. She's tired and probably has clinical depression from her dad but she is SILLY. Let her make jokes and have fun with her mom and be ironicly stereotypical. Also she does love her mom and doesn't really care about her dad.

Mia: (she/her, trans straight woman) Mia doesn't like people prying into her life. She likes to keep herself away from other people and doing her own thing. She is engaged to Afton because he is like that as well. She is good at keeping secrets. That is all you need to know.

W: (he/him, cis straight man) Afton also hates people prying into him life but he does have something to hide. It's not like he cares if it ruins him or anything (he isn't going to stop) but he just hates people knowing. He keeps to himself just fine. He is a horrible liar though.

Francis: (he/him (she/her later) trans bi lesbian woman) Francis is too actually, clinically depressed to have a personality. He doesn't feel good in his body from a) being different from his family and b) that one incident on his old route that has scarred him for life and is probably why he ended up in two different exploitative relationships because he doesn't value his own body. He's just. What you see is what you get and what you see is a man who hasn't slept in a week yet lays in his bed for hours doing nothing.

Steven: (any, genderqueer objectum aromantic pansexual) Steven comes across as cold and sullen but really. He has resting B| face. He's heard to crack open, but once you do you can find someone who is very passionate about his interests. It's mostly planes. He loves making model planes, it keeps his hands busy and his mind off other things. He also just doesn't really care about what other people think of him, he already knows he's done horrible things (former war plane pilot) so really. Who goes a shit if he cuts his hair weird or wears a dress or kisses his plane (Nathan). He literally just wants to be happy.

Mclooy: (he/him, aromantic pansexual) Mclooy. Isn't that good of a person gonna be honest. He's also a former soldier (from when he was sixteen) and can never shake when that ingrained in him. He has had four wives (first one was when he was about to go to war and he wasn't allowed to see her again by her parents, second divorced him for being violent and rude, third had a breakdown and shot herself and almost shot Steven, and the fourth left him because yet again he wasn't a good partner). He struggles with talking about his issues and makes jokes about it. He does have PTSD from both the war and his wife's suicide, but also from.the fact he shot a man who had started a relationship with him when he first became a soldier and Mclooy was sure was going to start harming Steven and buried him in the backyard. Yeah. He like to pretend he's fine. He's also a dirty old man I'm sorry he just. He just is.

Alf: (he/him, cis straight man) Alf genuinely could not care less about other people. I do think he's a prosecutor, he's just so good at pointing out he flaws in other people. Again from dialogue he is quick to point fingers and probably doesn't feel like certain things can be changed. He also just doesn't consider how his actions affect other people, especially how his humour and comments affect his wife. I genuinely think they are the least healthy married couple.

Rafttellyn: (she/her, doesn't know yet) Rafttellyn is used to having money. She has spent her whole life preparing to be a housewife. She's not that big of a gossip but she loves talking about people behind their backs because she doesn't have the spine to say it to their face, but also finds a certain feeling of power by being able to say what she wants. She really just feels trapped. She doesn't like the backhanded comments Alf makes about small things like her cooking or weight, and she definitely doesn't like that he jokes with his friends about how much he wishes he could get someone younger. She really just has no self esteem.

[aroaceconfessions]

the release date of the second season of heartstopper was announced recently and i’m feeling excited about it but also nervous and scared of the general public’s reactions

the creator of the graphic novel series it’s based on is aroace and i know that there are at least two aspec characters in it. i saw last year that she said she has “big asexual plans” for season 2. i am SO thrilled to finally get some good representation of aspec people, especially from an aroace. but i’m trying to prepare for the mixed bag this is going to be. this show is really big and is on one of the biggest if not the biggest streaming platforms in the world

i just wanted to say that however things turn out, whatever might happen, we’ve got each other and this is going be such a big and amazing step. i’m so happy for us and for all the people out there who might feel lost about their sexual and/or romantic orientation(s) that might see these characters’ stories and resonate with them. i’m happy that the general public will be learning more about aspec people too and i’m sure that some will be glad to learn about it.

i hope i worded all of this ok and people get what i’m trying to say

Submitted May 3, 2023

[ronanziriano]

So. Um. Now that I've already got a few hundred posts on this blog, I should probably go ahead and make an introduction post. That's usually the order for this sort of thing, right?

You can call me Ronan. My pronouns are he/they. I'm a Scorpio and am an adult, and this blog is definitely very much for adults only.

My interest in and feelings toward whump is definitely very, uh, unconventional? Based on what I've seen around the whump community and others' intro posts, at least. Sort of a combination of a kink and a coping mechanism and a way to confront fears and a thrill-seeking thing. I dunno.

I'm aroace and sex- and romance-repulsed, which probably isn't exactly obvious based on, you know, everything. Especially the fact that a lot of the content here is very NSFW. I guess the thing is, at least for me, I see nsfwhump and non-con as such a completely different thing than sex? It's approached in fiction in such a vastly different way, and a way that's more relatable. Seeing non-con portrayed as something traumatic and horrific, I can understand. Seeing consensual sex portrayed as something beautiful and desirable, I can't wrap my head around.

I like the aesthetic of BDSM, and have done some self-bondage on my own time. In fiction and art, I have absolutely no interest in things that are safe, sane, and consensual. I engage in it in a way that's more about fantasizing. Playing pretend. Imagining that I am the whumpee, being captured and tied up and gagged. In real life, that's obviously going to be the means of enjoyment. But in fiction, that layer of pretend isn't necessary and just gets in the way.

Anyway. I do also enjoy plenty of whump stuff that is perfectly SFW and non-kinky, and I enjoy the occasional kinky thing that wouldn't be considered whump. But there's a lot of overlap between the two. Makes more sense to keep it all on one blog.

I've been a longtime lurker and only recently decided to jump in and make a tumblr of my own. I have tried my hand at art and writing, although I don't know whether I'll actually ever share the results. I don't know that people would be particularly interested in things I create.

I will warn, I'm, well, very picky when it comes to whump enjoyment. Less so when it comes to art than writing; just, writing has a lot more opportunity to include details that end up hurting my ability to enjoy it, while art just has the space of a single image to shoot its shot. That being said, here are a few of my favorite things:

Non-con/rape

Creative torture devices

Defiant whumpees

Slave whumpees

Whumpees who are humanoid but not quite human

Aroace whumpees

Restraints and gags of any variety

Objectification

Kidnapping and captivity

Blackmail, extortion, whumpee having to go along with the whump under extreme duress

Sensory deprivation

Public or broadcast whump

Body modification

Tight spaces/claustrophobia

Asphyxiation (including drowning, strangling, suffocation, etc.)

Mind/body control

Fantasy/sci-fi scenarios

Blood and the removal thereof

Cruel and unusual punishments

Whump where medical accuracy is more of a polite suggestion than a rule

Some things that I'm really not interested in:

Romance/shipping

Villain whumpees or whumper-turned-whumpee

Lady whump

Non-humanoid whumpees, including robot whumpees

Um... let's call it "bathroom activities"

BBU, and any whump where the whumpee doesn't resist or try their best to do so

Amnesia, memory loss, brainwashing

Comedic/crack whump

1st- or 2nd-person POV

Live-action media, particularly photography

I have a page here that lists the topics I always tag for, as well as topics you will never see on this blog under any circumstances. If you decide to give me a follow and there's a trigger or squick that you want me to tag, just let me know.

And, you know. Also let me know if you've got content that you think I will enjoy. I want to consume.

In conclusion:

Hello.

[deathontheroad]

Hello there!

Hello, hello, people! I am Death River and I am happy to be on tumblr. I have been meaning to get an account here, but I have finally managed to do it. I am an artist, at least I like to think of myself as one.

I am an introvert guy trying my best. I am friendly and shy, so most of time I don't start a conversation. I tend to keep to myself and don't really open up, but I am open to conversations (if I even have anything to say). I am not a great fan of crowds or public spaces. So, let's get to the introduction!

Things about me

You can call Death River, just River, Shard or whatever you want!

I am a teenager

European

I speak Portuguese and English (mostly English)

He/They

Agender and AroAce (the triple As)

Uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

What do I like?

Drawing

Playing games

My OCs

BIRDS AND REPTILES!!!!

Gravity Falls

The Owl House

Other people's art

Music

Breaded chicken

Interesting things

The color blue (especially the dark shades)

Animating (a little bit)

What will I be drawing?

Mostly my OCs

My sona

Fanart

Whatever I feel like drawing

Fandoms I am in

Lethal Company

KinitoPET

The Sun and Moon Show (TSAMS)

Trevor Henderson Creatures

FNAF

Doors (Roblox)

Interminable Rooms (Roblox)

Rooms: Low Detailed (Roblox)

Sonic the Hedgehog

Other accounts

I have a Quotev account by the same name as this one. In there, I am writing short stories about my characters and their weird existence and adventures in a human world.

[rosagoldpastel]

My personal aroace statement rant about love

I don't know. Perhaps it's my way of thinking that is way too abstract, complicated, kinda complex, old fashioned or my autistic wired brain is getting it all wrong. idrk

But for me as an aroace love neither is dead or do I feel repelled or disgusted by love nor is love some strange thing that doesn't exist inside my nervous system or is something which I cannot empathize/identify with.

Au contraire.

I love. And I love deeply and when I love, I do love unconditionally.

But my way to practice and show and act upon my love to another one looks different than it is expected and what is known as "romance/romantic" by Mainstream Society. And, in fact, I don't naturally feel romantic attraction in that far-framed way and I don't feel the need to act that way. But I think I sometimes use gestures that can be seen as romantic. But being all lovey dovey makes no sense for me and that's ok.

I actually think it's kind of cute and wholesome to see people in public and in my private circle have these feelings of attraction and share these little romantic motivated acts with each other in gentle and natural behaviors and gestures. But in contrast to that it's rather unpleasant to me to see couples "too intimately involved into each other" at public places, iykwim.

To make it clear, for me as an aroace, love is not the same as romance or romantic feelings of attraction/interest and the motivation to share these acts upon one another. And love is neither the result of romantic attraction nor is love based on it.

Romance, for me, simply is one of so many different "love languages" in this world of creatures and "romantic" is just a human term to define a set and combination of specific arousal(physical and/or mentally like fantasies), behaviors, words, gestures, objects and the motivation to show these and act on in some ways, etc..

The dominant occuring love language upon human societies. At least, that's what mainstream and media wants to prove like it seems (to me).

And I hold the belief that one can feel romantic attraction and the interest/intention to exchange/share romance/romantic motivated love language with another one without actually being in love. And that's OK too.

I believe it must be beautiful if the feelings of romantic attraction and the interest/intention to share these romantic motivated gestures with another one rises from true love for that person or those people- such as an old couple still holding hands in public, spontaneously cuddling and kissing then smiling at each other, going on a date every now and then, without the need to share the same bedroom at night after 40 years of engagement/marriage.

Love is something that grows on the base of trust.

Oftentimes, without one being aware of it until one day, one becomes conscious of the love one feels for someone or something. And it would be the purest and greatest gift for me if the feeling was mutual.

Sometimes I think it must be nice to have those romantic feelings, but in the end I don't want to change one thing of the way I feel and love.

My beloved ones appreciate my own personal love language towards them and so do I theirs towards me.

And that's all that matters.

"The greatest thing you'll ever learn

is just to love and be loved in return."

-Nat King Cole, 'Nature Boy'

(I know other people's opinions are none of my business - but every time I stumble over aroace posts and rants about 'love is dead' and 'anti-love' I am deeply repelled and hurt by it.

If love is dead that means all creation on earth is to be doomed to extinction and that makes me deeply sad.

For me, love needs to be sheltered for everyone, everything and oneself.)

[queerplatonic-headcanons]

Mod Headcanon: Bruce Wayne, Diana Prince, & Clark Kent (aka the World’s Finest)

(It’s no secret I’m not as big of a DC fan as I am of Marvel, so this is gonna be a mashup of various comics, movies, and animated shows, and a small headcanon plotline in the middle there.)

Bruce is AroAce and Trans

Diana is Bi/Pan

Clark is Queer and Nonbinary

Bruce Wayne is Gotham’s most notorious playboy. At least as far as the public is concerned, and Bruce is happy to let them believe it. The truth is unlikely to do any good for his, or the company’s, image. As a child, regardless of the wealth his parents left behind, and an endless number of suitors, of all classes and genders, being thrown at his feet, he preferred solitude to company, would rather pursue knowledge than courtship. He remained much the same through high school and college, until his ‘peers’ started to notice his lack of interest, and he learned to fake it just enough to keep the jackals in the press off his heels. Becoming the Bat was freeing in a way. He sacrificed very little during his training, less than other men had done, at least, and thrived without the expectations and judgment of Gotham’s High Society. He found it harder to keep up the mask of Bruce Wayne when he came back, and spent every party longing for moonlit rooftops. He was never fond of dancing, never liked what it alluded to, the forced intimacy and fumbling hands ever present reminders of desires he couldn’t reciprocate. As the Bat, though, he wasn’t beholden to the expectations of what a man should want or be, all people asked of him was justice, protection, a knight in shadowed armour. There was one like him, a Cat with expensive tastes, who feigned hunger the way he did, who saw right through his façade, left him with the knowledge that he wasn’t alone, and promised him a partner who wanted nothing beyond a dance.

He wasn’t thinking about optics when he adopted Dick, but having an heir put an end to the ever-increasing pressure from his contemporaries and the media to “think about his legacy”. Though children were never part of his original plan, he found that fatherhood suited him well, and for most of his children he was able to skip the unpleasant part of making the kid. He never resented or regretted Damian, but he never forgave Talia. She didn’t take no for an answer, and when he wouldn’t give her what she wanted, she took it. Clark and Diana learned very quickly not to press that particular subject.

Diana had always loved without regard to gender, though she never gave it much thought until she left Themyscira, because it was not something that was ever taboo. There were many things she found strange about humans, but the way they treated love with so much hatred she could never comprehend. The amazons knew of all kinds of love, and the most revered bond was that between sisters in arms: not just warriors who fought together, but those whose bond was so strong they fought as one. Diana longed for that connection, never found it in Themyscira, almost had it with Steve, and finally found it in Bruce and Clark.

Bruce especially reminded her of a fellow amazon she had once loved dearly, and thought she might share that warrior’s bond with. It was centuries before she left the island herself, and he had confessed to her that he’d never felt like the woman everyone mistook him for, and she could see how desperately he wanted to be free of the expectations others placed on him. She knew the feeling to a certain extent. So she helped him flee Themyscira, and still holds out hope she may one day find him here, in the world of man, and that he would understand her joy at having found that bond she had once looked for in him.

Growing up, Clark always felt a disconnect between the gender their Ma and Pa told them they were and the way they felt on the inside. When they learned of their heritage, they figured it must be an alien thing, which it was. Kind of. There was no exact human equivalent for the kryptonian concepts of gender, but some spelunking through google landed them with a few helpful words: nonbinary, xenogender, and singular they.

Clark had always thought everybody was pretty, but tried to ignore the feelings that would get a ‘boy’ living in rural Kansas into trouble. They did confide in Ma and Pa, who were amazing about it, but they didn’t feel like their parents would ever completely understand. The whole ‘actually an alien’ thing definitely helped explain the gender thing, but left them conflicted as to whether they found everybody pretty because their own gender was ‘different’ to everyone else’s, or if their gender and others’ didn’t factor into it at all. Eventually they settled on being just plain Queer and went on with their life.

Lois broke it off because, though she did love them, try as she might, she was straight, and she just couldn’t love them the way they loved her, seeing as she was only attracted to men, something they just weren’t. The two stayed friends, and eventually Lois was the one that gave them the final push to talk out their feelings with Diana and Bruce.

Their attraction to the two was another thing that they thought, at first, was another weird alien thing. They knew after the first meeting they found them both distractingly pretty, and after getting to know them, they could feel themself falling deeply in… something. It felt like love but they also knew that, try as they might, whatever this was was very much not romantic or sexual, and they had plenty of experience with what those felt like, this just… wasn’t that. It wasn’t until after another intensive round of googling that Clark found that what they were feeling was just as human as it was Kryptonian.

It was Clark who finally got the ball rolling, sat the other two down and confessed all they had been feeling and said, in no uncertain terms, what they wanted, the relationship they hoped to pursue. Diana was delighted to find that humans(and, evidently, Kryptonians) had a similar bond in their society to the one she was hoping for with the warriors near to her. Bruce was the hardest to convince, not because he didn’t reciprocate, he very much did, but because they couldn’t quite believe that they really only wanted a, what had Clark called it? A QPR with him and nothing… beyond that. Though he hadn’t said anything about it, Clark and Diana were quite sure now that Talia had not been the only one is Bruce’s life who struggled with the word “No.”

It took a while and a lot of reassuring, but Bruce eventually allowed himself to believe them, and agreed to what turned out to be, their opinion, at least, the World’s Finest QPR.

[minty-leafy]

ik tumblr has a lot of folks in the LGBTQ+ community so...

hey guys um, how do you know if ur aroace (or at least asexual) or just have commitment issues, or am i both

im 19 now, and i HAD crushes in primary sch (7-12) that i later realised i never liked them, they were just like my biases or eye candy, i would act shy around them, or do things i dont normally just for them

in secondary school (13-16), when all my friends were saying theyre jealous of couples and want to start dating, i felt nothing, i always think abt whats the point of dating, i rather hang out with my close friends, marriage doesnt appeal to me, and s*x disgusts me (but i enjoy reading smut?) every time they see a couple in public or online, they will feel jealous and salty that they dont have one, and im just there laughing at them (i purposely point out couples to them even hehe)

in poly (17-now), esp this past year and a little before that, ive been thinking if i just have commitment issues instead, because the thought of having a relationship scares me, like the label of 'boyfriend' and 'girlfriend' just gives me a big NO, im scared i lose feelings for the person, i had 'crushes' before but they never lasted more than half a month, it either disappears after a while, or immediately vanishes the moment i dont see them anymore

i realised the trend of my 'crushes' in poly is that they treat me nicely, like a gentleman, and i immediately think like "wow i like them", but it never lasts. when i think i like them, i try to think of us tgt, but i cant, like it feels very weird, and i cant imagine kissing them on the lips

these thoughts came out because this guy likes me, and literally our entire friend group knows, like he's not hiding it, and so our friends ship us, but when i think abt what if we were tgt, again, its just impossible, not sure if i just dont like him, am aroace, or have commitment issues. when i try to think of us doing couple things i cant, but i can freely do those with my girl friends (like hugging, holding hands, gg out 1 to 1, im a highly affectionate person, i love physical affection from close friends, be it guys or girls)

as i said before, im currently 19, and ive been singlr all my life, idk whether all these thoughts are because ive never experienced dating before, or am i just too young to confirm my sexuality?

TL:DR

19F, aroace or commitment issues, single since birth

loves physical affection and would do it with close friends no matter the gender

afraid of the term 'boyfriend'and 'girlfriend', cant imagine dating anyone, dont know if i just haven't found the one

doesnt get jealous and wishful looking at couples, never felt butterflies in stomach or heart beating fast over ppl i thought i liked, weirded out by kisses on lips (even on TV), gets repulsed by the thought of s*x

[rabidkoalasinmybloodstream]

okay, so. currently i’m, like, really obsessed with the golden era slytherins? so, HEADCANONS!

theo has adhd

draco is trans (ftm)

daphne is trans (mtf)

pansy is a lesbian

theo is bisexual

blaise is gay and greysexual

draco is panromantic ace

also blaise and draco must be dating. they must be in love. they must be soulmates. i love them together

draco is, like, always cold, and blaise tends to run a little bit warm, thus: lots of cuddling and handholding

daphne is aroace

they are TALL.

like, really tall.

daphne is 6’3, blaise is 6’4, theo is 6’1.5, and pansy is 6’2

draco, unfortunately, stands at 5’10 (which, like, isn’t even very short at all) and the others tease him mercilessly for it

okay, so i have a lot of really in-depth thoughts and headcanons about all of their childhoods, but i headcanon that theo, blaise, pansy and draco were friends since they were literally born, and they met daphne and tori (astoria) in their second year at hogwarts (and tori’s first)

when they were kids, draco and theo took classical ballroom dancing lessons together and did competitions and stuff, and draco also did ballet (because everyone in the black family was forced into ballet fight me on this) so sometimes draco and theo just, like, spontaneously burst into dance??? like, really intense, fast waltzing and fancy twirling and whatnot???

OKAY. so, blaise’s mother. i’ve seen many different names given to blaise’s mom, (like beth and maria are pretty common i think?) but i always thought of her as a gina. she just feels like a gina. and, like, even though she’s a little bit… uh… intense, with the whole killing-seven-men shebang, but she’s cool. everyone loves her. blaise’s house is the top-rated sleepover house.

pansy has three older brothers and her mom’s name is juno

all of them are pretty good singers, but draco and tori??? hoLy SHit. they are SPECTACULAR. they’re so damn good at singing, it’s not even describable. those bitches have ineffably melodious voices. it’s like kind of annoying how good they are

draco has some veela in him. fight me on this. draco is AT LEAST 25% veela. AT LEAST.

DRACO’S FIRST LANGUAGE IS FRENCH AND IN FIRST AND SECOND YEAR HIS ACCENT WAS SO HEAVY BLAISE AND PANSY AND THEO WERE THE ONLY PEOPLE WHO COULD UNDERSTAND HIM WHEN HE SPOKE ENGLISH AND SINCE HE’S A BLACK DRACO SPEAKS LIKE AT LEAST SEVEN LANGUAGES FLUENTLY BUT HE TOTALLY SUCKS AT ENGLISH AT FIRST DRACO IS SO FRENCH OMG I AM OBSESSED WITH FRENCH DRACO

blaise also speaks many languages; like english, french, italian, and like latin??? idk.

pansy speaks english and french

theo speaks english, french, and spanish

tori isn’t very tall. she’s like 5’5, but no one makes fun of her for it, which drives draco insane because “she’s literally FIVE inches shorter than me, why don’t you make fun of her???” “‘cause she doesn’t care. you’re getting all mad and pouting.” “*while pouting* i don’t pout.”

draco has a very tiny nose. so does daphne. they’re noses are so incredibly tiny and dainty? like how is this even possible??? how are they so small?????

DRACO CAN DRAW. REALLY WELL. HE CAN ALSO WRITE. FUCK WITH ME.

daphne really, really likes those 50cm grape japanese candy things?? (these)

daphne gets really quiet and judgemental-looking (EVEN THOUGH SHES NOT JUDGING ANYONE THATS JUST HOW HER FACE LOOKS) in public, and gets all mean, but with her friends she’s just like so nice and funny

pansy wears cargo pants with tights tops really often

pansy and theo wear (and share) leather jackets VERY often

ASTORIA GREENGRASS AND GINEVRA WEASLEY ARE REALLY CLOSE FRIENDS AND YOU WILL NEVER CONVINCE ME OTHERWISE

theo does muggle magic. like, illusionist stuff, and he’s really good at it. like, weirdly good. it drives everyone insane. and like i bet he does it at really weird times, too. like: “oh my god, why are you crying?? what’s wrong?” “oh, nothing i just read flowers for algernon again.” “oh. well… *whips out deck of cards* …wanna see a card trick?”

theo is really protective. would stab someone who mildly insulted someone he cares about

pansy is jewish

draco and pansy have a lot of tattoos. like a shit ton of tattoos. they are very tatted-up

for some reason i headcanon them all getting into muggle musicals sometime after the war?? like mary poppins and the wizard of oz and hamilton and stuff??? idk. i want them to like musicals, especially old ones.

on the topic of muggle things: draco reads a lot, especially muggle books.

okay, so in this one fanfic i read (i read this fic a WHILE ago, and i forget the name and also what it was about??? but i don’t remember what it is and i’m sorry) blaise called draco “honeybee” AND I THINK THAT SCORPIUS IS LIKE REALLY CLUMSY AND SO BLAISE CALLS DRACO HONEYBEE AND SCORPIUS BUMBLE

LIKE NOT BUMBLEBEE, JUSY BUMBLE

GET IT

LIKE HOW BUMBLE SOUNDS LIKE THE ACT OF DOING SOMETHING CLUMSILY????

DRACO AND LUNA ARE COUSINS. PANDORA AND LUCIUS WERE SIBLINGS.

pansy usually has really heavy makeup on. like, make sure you don’t stand at a 45° angle from her face because you will get blinded by her highlighter

draco is a vegetarian (so is scorpius, by choice)

daphne is like always so dressed up?? like she’s wearing fancy cocktail dresses and five inch heels to, like, check the mail. idk. she’s always dressed up.

pansy LOVES doing impressions, and she’s good at them. (especially unflattering impressions)

blaise is really good at rubik’s cubes. like, he’s one of those people who can solve them blindfolded in six seconds and stuff.

and that’s all for now! to follow all of that, some side notes:

a). these are just my opinions

b). feel free to add more!!

c). maybe i’ll add more of mine some time?? (specifically more about astoria, i didn’t write very much about her)

[perrypixel]

damn, you and a few other cool ppl in the goldenlight community are really tempting me to just completely free myself and go public with it. tbh I probably will eventually, considering I’ve been fighting myself about whether or not I should write a fic about them for literal weeks now. and I’m slowly giving less and less a f lol. (this is the ace anon who used the 🤝 emoji and awkwardly called u comrade for some reason btw lmaoo)

but yes! the dynamic between Luz and Hunter is just so intriguing to me, all versions of them! them being besties is just as interesting to me as them taking on a more romantic relationship. (which is why specifically I want to write a very slowburn fic of them being genuine besties but then shit hits the fan emotionally) Like, I just feel they have so much potential to just understand and change with each other. Luz has been there for Hunter’s lowest lows, and Hunter even provided a listening ear for Luz’s troubles in hunting palismen about her fears about her future. The funny thing is that, yes, she never actually voices those concerns directly, but Hunter is perceptive enough of her to realize what she’s really thinking just by her throwaway comment, “At least you have your future figured out now.” I actually just rewatched the clip to get the exact quote down and I noticed that when Hunter tells Luz that at least she has a choice, Luz actually turns and looks at Hunter in surprise before flapjack comes into frame,,,,,, which I am not going to think about and overanalyze for the rest of the week. whether it was out of surprise that he was expressing his own discontentment or that he understood her and actively tried to comfort her,,,,hmphabwne,,,, both is good. talking about their relationship and how it progresses in Hollow Mind would be a whole essay of its own.

for me personally I prefer them being besties in canon over all else for multiple reasons, but god am I grateful fanfic exists so that they can be explored. haha sorry for the long ask but I needed to flush this out of my system .

YESSSS!!! YOU GET ME ANON!

So much potential for these two! I'm about to go feral!

I also love them as besties in canon. Like aroace Hunter my beloved and much prefer to remain platonic in canon but the romantic potential too? I will not shut up about it the potential! Like a ranted about on the goldenlight discord about it, but I said the same thing about how Luz is the first person to meet the REAL Golden Guard. She's the first person to trust him, even though he said, 'are you sure?' She's the only person that saw him at his lowest point. They just have this connection. In this essay, I will—

But if you do wanna share more of your thoughts I'm always here. Inbox is open.

[aroaceconfessions]

I am aroace but I’m in a relationship with an allo person that pretty much resembles your average romantic/sexual relationship from the outside. I see it as a committed long-term relationship where we both love each other, just not in the same way which is OK with both of us. Everyone they know thinks we’re perfect together and should get married asap. Everything is going great except I think I’m at least a little romance repulsed. Seeing couples out in the wild with even minor PDA like hand holding or thinking about how other people view my relationship makes me feel uncomfortable and a bit sick.

This is a problem when anything comes up where mentioning my partner would be relevant, because my options are a) downplay their existence and feel like I’m betraying them because they apparently talk about me frequently to their friends or b) come out to people and have to explain my complicated feelings towards romance in public. This came up today when a few people from my college class asked what I was doing for the weekend and I decided to mention I was going to celebrate my partner’s birthday. The girl who asked immediately got very excited and started asking if they went to this college, what they do, etc. and to see a picture. It should not have been a big deal but I’ve felt kind of gross about it all day. I would start wearing aroace pins around but my parents are very conservative and that would cause more problems than it would fix.

I would never want to be anything but aroace, but I am really worried about my long-term feelings. I want my partner to feel that they are important to me and talk about how cool they are (because they are), but I can’t sometimes because I know what other people are thinking and it just feels wrong, and if I try to talk about it it just sounds like I hate them, which is wrong. I should probably see a therapist to help me figure this out, but then comes the problem of finding an aro-friendly therapist in my area who won’t relate it to my subpar people skills or low empathy. Anyway thanks for letting me vent, love you guys (platonically ofc)

Submitted March 30, 2023

[xerayn]

Day 2: Inventory

@khoc-week

This one was fun! Writing ship things are interesting, but I always struggle to know if I do enough to make it obvious since I am an aroace. Today focused on Crayon's point of view, but also had Gwynn mixed in, cause you know, fav oc

(I realised after posting that I should have probably put a picture of each of my ocs for the first day, but instead I'm just going to put a picture of an oc if I need to)

Crayon is under the cut too because one of my fav pictures of her has blood

If people don't want to click on the link, I put the oneshot underneath the cut

Crayon

Crayon woke up in the middle of the night after another nightmare. She had been seeing more and more of her repressed memories recently, and there was a reason she had repressed them. That night it was one of the more… violent memories. She was in a training session with her ‘father’, just before the usual death match against Pencil. She started off well, managing to dodge the heavy objects her ‘father’ throwed at her, while stringing together strong combos on the punching bag. But then one of her more severe wounds that she had gotten the previous day opened, and her speed was affected. Her ‘father’ did not stop, even though Crayon was nearly doubled over in pain. She eventually got hit and vomited from the force of the object. Her ‘father’ then chastised her for not trying hard enough, and Crayon would ‘let your mother win and Crayon would die’. The dream thankfully ended there, but Crayon woke up with the ghostly pain in her stomach.

Crayon pulled herself into a ball and let a few silent tears stream down her face before damning her emotions up.

“Pull yourself together, idiot.” She muttered quietly to herself as she carefully untangled herself from her makeshift ball.

She looked around to check the group (nicknamed the ‘Misfits’ from the public and something Gwynn said one time at Versus Academy). Everyone was sleeping soundly. Sky was lying sprawled over Carla on the floor, who was still wearing her full armour set up and sword sheaths. Carla’s current projects lay beside her messy spiky orange hair, with screws and bolts in her hair. Carla was becoming more and more exhausted recently due to how hard she had been working for everyone. Crayon had become worried and tried to get Carla to rest a little more, but so far Crayon had no luck.

At least she’s sleeping now. I just wish that berserker Sky was not around her.

Crayon looked to the other side of the room to see her twin sibling, Pencil, having disturbed dreams, similar to Crayon herself. They frowned and jostled on the chair they slept in, before turning over and no longer facing Crayon. Crayon almost wanted to help them. Almost. But Crayon did not like Pencil that much.

They can deal with their own nightmares. I’m struggling to deal with mine, can’t help them.

To the very left of the room Riku and Kairi slept comforting each other. Both of them were still wearing their fancy clothes which they had explained were magical, but they looked slightly uncomfortable in them. Although Riku was far taller than Kairi, the two of them made it work and looked a very sweet couple if they were dating. Crayon still was not sure on how to feel about Riku. He had only just showed up and barely explained himself. He also kept asking weird questions to Crayon about her intentions and darkness. Crayon had a suspicion he could tell that Maleficient took Crayon under her wing for a little while, but how he could know?

They are both legendary keyblade wielders who have fought in wars! They could probably do anything. Crayon answered her own question. I should at least trust Riku. I don’t have to like him, but he’s not an idiot. Kairi trusts him, and I trust Kairi. Still, I’m not gonna give him special treatment just yet.

Crayon realised with a start that Gwynn was not in the room. Crayon shot up and went into panic mode to try and find her.

As quietly as Crayon could in her frantic state, Crayon searched the abandoned house. Kairi’s keyblade led them here the day previous, in a hope to find a lead to Sora’s whereabouts, but so far, the empty and slightly eerie house had nothing. It was purely a space to rest for a few days from the search of the police. Crayon overheard Riku discussing with Kairi the possibility of going out to eliminate heartless and spend their energy trying to stop the influx of heartless in Quadratum instead of searching for Sora. Kairi protested, but it seemed more and more likely their priorities would shift. They had spent two years searching for Sora without any success after all.

Crayon breathed a sigh of relief when she saw Gwynn sitting outside in the cold, writing something in the purple notebook that Crayon gave Gwynn for Christmas. Crayon walked forward with a smile on her face. She did not know why, but the sight of Gwynn always made her smile a goofy big smile. It might be because Gwynn was so pretty all the time, or maybe it was because she was such a kind soul. Whatever the reason, Gwynn was a perfect friend from the very start.

“Boo!” Crayon shouted right behind Gwynn.

“Crayon!! You made me jump.” Gwynn held her chest in fear.

“That was the point,” Crayon smirked a little. “Can I sit beside you for a bit?”

Gwynn shimmied over as a response. Crayon sat hugging her knees, while Gwynn finished writing. Crayon looked over Gwynn’s shoulder curiously, but Gwynn tilted it away.

“This is private, you know that.”

“I know… but I just wanted to be nosy,” Crayon stuck out her tongue, to Gwynn’s amusement. “Why are you up this late anyway?”

“Oh, you know…” Gwynn looked down, and continued scribbling, “She’s kept me up. How about you?”

“…A nightmare. Nothing to worry about though.” Crayon understood Gwynn’s vague response and did not push further. Korynn messed with Gwynn every now and then, manipulating her emotions. Crayon wished she could do more to help Gwynn, but there was nothing to do.

A few more strokes of the pen and Gwynn set the notebook carefully back into her satchel she always brought with her. Crayon lay on her back and looked up to the starry sky slightly tainted by light pollution, content even though her breaths came out in warm puffs of clouds.

“The stars are pretty tonight.” Gwynn joined Crayon and snuggled closer to her.

“They sure are. Reminds me of Christmas.”

Crayon looked over to Gwynn’s sparkling eyes. They always portrayed so many beautiful emotions, and even though Gwynn was the quietest in the group, her eyes spoke for her. And at times, it felt like Crayon was the only one who could understand them. Gwynn’s hair blowed gently in the wind, hiding her eyes occasionally. Her black and white streak in her hair was barely visible in the low light, almost as if they never existed. Everything around Crayon faded from view. At that moment, all Crayon could focus on was the sweet angel in front of her.

How is Gwynn always so perfect? And why am I feeling so hot right now?

Gwynn’s brow furrowed, and Crayon blinked. Their surroundings filtered back in, the night sky, the house’s shadow behind them, and the bright dots in the sky. The moon briefly shone its rays, illuminating Gwynn for a moment, who was mouthing things to herself- or more likely, telling Korynn off. Crayon reached over to comfort Gwynn, clasping Gwynn’s hand. Gwynn’s head shot to Crayon, and Crayon instantly let go of her hand.

“Sorry, I shouldn’t have done that-”

“Wait, I-” Both apologised at the same time.

Crayon sat up and looked away from Gwynn. She wrapped her arms just below her chest, almost looking like she was trying to comfort herself. Gwynn gradually sat up, but did not say anything more.

Why did I do that??? Why? Friends don’t do that and now I’ve ruined this moment why am I so stupid why, why, why…??? Crayon chastised herself.

After a minute, Crayon looked back at Gwynn and began anew the conversation. “…You’ve never told me what you’ve got in that bag. You carry it everywhere, you know.”

“Oh. I guess that’s true,” Gwynn nervously chuckled and shifted to a more comfortable sitting position. “Well, you know that I have pens, a pencil, rubber and notebook in here since you got me those.”

“Yeah, but what else? The bag’s pretty bulky.” Crayon tilted her head.

Gwynn grabbed her bag and began to shuffle through it. “Hmm… I have painkillers, because of, um, y’know…” Because of Korynn and how you use more darkness, you become more in pain. Crayon supplied mentally. “Bandages, plasters, potions and ethers for battle stuff. A spare top, just in case, uh, what else…”

Crayon grabbed the bag from Gwynn’s hands and reached into the bag, taking a lucky dip. She pulled out a few ordinary stones, nothing special about them except for being slightly sharper at one end. “Huh? Why do you have these?”

“Oh, those are the stones I found on, um, That Night. They come in really helpful. Like in the Final World, I used those stones to carve handholds so I could get into the building there.” Gwynn supplied, looking slightly more cheerful.

“What else? Wheel of fate!” Crayon dramatically dug her hand into the bag once more, Gwynn giggling at Crayon’s antics.

Crayon lifted out a slightly crumpled note, the corner dog-eared. Crayon was flipping the note over when Gwynn snatched the note out of Crayon’s hands.

“Hey! What’s that for?”

“It’s just a spare sheet that fell out of the notebook. Nothing important on this!” Gwynn tried to desperately hide it.

Crayon squinted. “‘Master of Masters’? Who’s that?”

“No one important. Can we move on?”

Crayon narrowed her eyes in suspicion but let it go. “Fine. What else is in here?”

“Thank you. The only other items I carry is my old MP3 player and headphones, for memories sake, and the TransText.”

“Cool,” Crayon yawned slightly. “I should probably get some rest soon.”

“Tomorrow sounds like a busy day.”

“When is it not a busy day.” Crayon sighed.

Gwynn chuckled at that. “True. Hey, where’s your bracelet?”

Crayon’s face slackened as her eyes got larger. She looked down at her wrist, normally covered by her jumper, but the intricate bracelet she always wore was not there. Gwynn had gotten her matching bracelet and necklace at Christmas, but Crayon gave the necklace to Gwynn. The two swore to always wear them, as a sign of friendship. It meant so much to Crayon, and she had lost it!

“I… I don’t know! I was wearing it earlier. W-where could it be?!” Crayon began to panic.

Gwynn went into a thinking position, before her eyes lit up. She rummaged through her bag and pulled out a bracelet, woven like a plait, and had a blue heart gem right in the centre. Crayon heaved a sigh of relief.

“Phew. Thanks.”

“Don’t loose it… again…” Gwynn yawned midway through the sentence.

“I’m gonna get some rest now. You should too, it looks like.”

Gwynn began to look more and more tired, and it was for the first time Crayon noticed Gwynn had large bags underneath her eyes.

“I’m ok… you just… head in…”

“Gwynn, I’ve noticed you haven’t been going to sleep before me, and you look awfully tired… like you haven’t slept in a while. Have you… Do you have insomnia?” Crayon asked gently.

“Insomnia? No, why would you think that? I just get woken up frequently, and the nightmares are really bad, and I don’t want to go to sleep. Not insomnia.” Gwynn tried to convince herself more than anything.

“Do you want to sleep together tonight? Would that help?” Crayon offered.

“… Yeah.”

And with that, they both headed inside.

(Xerayn's Note: When Gwynn says, ‘That Night’, it is in reference to the night she died, and disappeared from Quadratum, and is basically what is explained in the previous one-shot. Gwynn is still working through the trauma of dying, so she calls it this.

I couldn’t manage to fit this explanation in naturally, so sorry for any confusion while reading. As for what a TransText is, that will be explained next one-shot.)

[the-immortal-asshole]

Since everyone is sharing their experiences/identities of being aro (Long text ahead)

I saw the aromantic tag trending and saw that a lot of people are talking about the way they experience being aroace or being on that spectrum. I thought maybe I should as well, someone might be a kindred spirit in that aspect. I’m still relatively new to this and the amount of terminology and stuff that there is I might accidentally miss something or say the wrong thing so sorry if that happens.

I’m in my early twenties and found out that I’m asexual when I was eighteen or nineteen (my memory is horribel so bare with me pls). I think it really dawned on me what being asexual is when I decided that I’m going to do a presentation about asexual representation in one of my university class. Not long after that I found out that there are people who are aromantic and felt like I found another  piece of the puzzles that I am. Many pieces are still missing but I have time to find them, being aroace put a lot of those puzzle pieces in place. 

I never really understood being attracted to someone in a romantic or sexual sense. In my middle and high school years I had what I though where crushes on two boys. One was an asshole and I think I just liked the way he looked and thought that might be what everyone was talking about. Long story short I was convinced to confess and that was a whole embarassing debacle which gave the guy the right to bully me about it. Then in highschool I had a classmate who was nice and funny and easy to talk to, we were kind of friends. I didn’t do anything about this supposed crush. The reason being is that it was around this time that I started to question my feeling of romantic attraction. It wasn’t the feeling that everyone described it being. Turns out I have a bad case of anxiety and the butterflies were me getting anxious over being in a situation that involved socializing and a guy that I found aesthetically pleasing to look at. I always had cramps in the morning when it was time to go to school but I kind of learned to live with it. 

I gradually accepted that I had no intention of adting anyone and wanted to live with maybe a hundred cats and didn’t think anything of it. In my country it is hard to find any type of queer media if you don’t explicitly go looking for it. I do not remember how I came across asexuality but I’m glad I did so relatively early in my life because it made things for me so much better. I once mentioned to my mother that I was doing a representation on aroace people and she asked if there even were such people and when I told her I’m one such person she immediately came back with  the  “are you sure? maybe you just haven’t found the right one?”. It hurt but after a couple of years she had become better and she actively encourages me for it, so to say, sh etells other that I’mnot interested in dating and that is okay. 

Both of my friends are in steady relationships and we talk about their partners but we don’t really talk about the sexual aspects of their relationships, mostly because that’s their business but I think they don’t mention it out of consideration for me. They try to keep the pda to a minimum when their partners are with us and I really appriciate them for it.

Now comes the juicy stuff my relationship with being aroace is so complicated, at least I think it is, there may be a more specific category that I fit into but I’m lazy to find out. I do not desire a romantic or sexual partner, I experinece platonic love for my family and friends but nothing beyond that. I do find some people attractive but it is purely from an aesthetic standpoint. I do consume media with romance in it, more of the lgbtq+ variety than the straight one. I do not have a clear reason or explanation why but I find straight media boring and repulsive.  I am repulsed by pda and affection shown by couples in public that goes beyond hugging and hand holding. It is weird and specific but what can you do. I am confused about so many aspects of dating and being in a relationship that it is not even funny.

 I have so many quirks regarding my view on romance and sex but few come to mind at this time. There are times when I actively search and read smut and then there are times when I look at it and think disgusting, get it away from me. I am searching for aroace media at all times but it is hard to find. I do not read or consume media which focuses on hetero relationships if it is only mentioned than I’m okay but otherwise it is a no go. For example I love spiderman but I have yet to watch the new movie because I know that romance is going to be there, there will be a kiss and I’m not ready for that even though I could very simply skip that part. I love one piece as it is an anime that aside from one pining character does not actively show romance in its plot, lets hope it stays that way.  I have to read so many books for university that concentrate on romance in varying degrees and I hate that, so I don’t read them just look up the synopsis even if some of them look interesting. I also hate when one of my teachers brings up relationships and sex, she always brings up twilight and its view on sex and romance and stuff and it makes me uncomfortable but I bear through it. She likes to talk about how romantic love is the most important thing and anyone experineces it and stuff like that. 

There are many more things I could write but I should finish this. This has kind of turned into a rant so I hope someone powered through this long piece of writing.  For those thank you.

[geshertzarmeod]

Also a tricky situation I know far too well - how to come out when you’re not certain about your identity. It feels wrong somehow to share uncertainty and confusion publicly- even now I still worry about how that could be taken in the wrong way (and weaponized against myself and other queer folks) and that to share publicly I need to back myself up with surety and clarity and not change my mind, change my terms, change my identity, after the fact.

But that’s not how life works out sometimes.

So anyway, happy pride month!!! I love pride month! I love queerness and queers and queer and trans community has kept my soul going for so many years. And also, I’ve been curious questioning and shifting for years, like truly consciously for at least ten years at this point.

Right now, here’s the identities and terms I’m playing with as I work to understand myself:

I’m queer.

I’m nonbinary. I use they/them and she/her pronouns. This shifts in context, but often I’d appreciate you to use a mix of the two, or just they/them. I would mostly prefer you not exclusively use she/her. Please ask if you have questions, either about pronouns in general or about how/when/where to use mine specifically.

I’m somewhere on the asexual and aromanticism spectrums. Maybe entirely. Maybe in the middle. Maybe demisexual and/or demiromantic. I truly don’t quite know. This one is really hard because it’s hard to understand whether or not you experience something that’s almost impossible to pin down and define or describe- romantic or sexual attraction- and if so, how much/how often/how strong as compared to others when who even knows?

If I’m not entirely aroace, I’m bisexual. But again, not entirely sure anymore!

Still playing with how strongly I identify with trans as an identity- right now it feels okayish as an umbrella term but feels like I’m claiming something that isn’t mine if I touch it more specifically. But I’ve experienced that feeling before and know often I just have to sit it it for a whole, for a year, for several, and eventually the word feels like mine.

I probably wouldn’t post this any time except late at night. I am very clearly and very publicly queer, and even pretty public with pronouns, but I’m much less comfortable sharing this part, the swirled up “who even knows” inner mess. But I’m sharing because maybe someone reading this is there too, and this can help you feel like you’re not the only one, help reinforce that sometimes this is just messy, and confusing, and that’s okay! And maybe because sharing this can prompt conversations that could help me understand myself more.

Because ultimately, that’s what this is about - community, connection, and helping ourselves and each other understand and imagine ourselves complexly and accurately for who we are, and how we feel, and relate to the world and others.

[aropinions]

I'm sick of restating things, so here, have a bio post.

You shouldn't judge a book by its cover, but a lot of people have been doing that anyway just based off the opinions they think I have, so I figure it's better if I at least provide a proper cover for them to judge.

Hi, I'm Ivy. I'm an aromantic heterosexual female, and proud to be a woman.

Yes, I'm a feminist. More of an egalitarian, really. I want equality of opportunity for everyone, not equality of outcome. I am not a radical feminist, and I am not a TERF. I agree with TERFs on a few points, but I disagree with pretty much everything that sets radfems apart from regular old feminists: I support any and all sex acts between consenting adults (this does not include public kink because onlookers cannot consent), I am not anti-porn, I am not misandrist, I am not anti-capitalist.

I'm an aro/ace exclusionist. I believe straight aros and straight aces, as well as aroaces, are perfectly real and deserve recognition (of course, since I am one) but shouldn't bandwagon on the LGB/T community to get that recognition. I use "LGB/T community" to refer to the community generally known as "queer," out of respect to the people who do not consent to reclaiming the word "queer." The slash in the acronym is there to signify my belief that the T is distinctly separate from the LGB, despite mainstream lumping-together of the groups.

I strongly believe homosexual aros and homoromantic aces are LGB. Same goes if you replace the "homo" prefixes in that sentence with "bi." Your average homophobe isn't going to stop their fire-and-brimstone rants to ask the two guys/girls kissing if they're in love or just sexually attracted. It's all the same for social oppression.

I am transmedicalist but not transphobic. Sex dysphoria is real, is a mental disorder, and can be treated with transition as long as everything that can be mistaken for that disorder is ruled out before transition begins (EDs, dysmorphia, etc.) Biological sex is still real even after transition. Nonbinary dysphoria exists, though rare, but just like MtF and FtM I believe it is only valid through straight-up dysphoria -- not "feelings" of "androgynous gender."

Is there anything else I missed? Feel free to yell at me in notes if there are any other "OP is a ____phobe!" callouts that I've forgotten to debunk and clarify. <3