#i just feel really lucky honestly
Explore tagged Tumblr posts
Text
my husband wanted to cheer me up so he out of nowhere wrote me this insanely era accurate bullets yaoi and i'm sobbing
(takes place as they're leaving hellfest 06/22/2003)
"It was a surprisingly pleasant July day as the van rattled its way west bound on I-90. The mountains to the south were barely a hill from this distance, the rolling farmland whistled by through the barely cracked window. The air-conditioning would be on had it still worked, but the breeze would have to suffice. Suddenly the vehicle jolted to the side with a loud whack as the tire briefly left the road over a pothole before quickly slapping rugged pavement once more.
“What was that?” mumbled a voice from the back. The curtain drawn shut to block out the light. They had barely slept in three days.
“Just a pothole, this road out of Syracuse really sucks. Go back to sleep”
The voice mumbled some more before falling silent.
“I might like him better when he’s asleep,” Gerard said to Ray. He flicked his cigarette one last time before dropping it and rolling up the window.
“I should probably get some sle-” he was quickly cut off as Frank roared from behind the curtain.
“Seriously? You hit me in the face with that stupid cigarette!”
Gerard hadn’t realized he wasn’t the only one enjoying the breeze.
“That isn’t the only thing I’d like to hit you in the face with” Gerard groveled quietly to himself. It was exhilarating to speak it out loud, even if no one else could hear him.
“Sorry little guy, go back to bed,” he said.
Hellfest had been an intense three day fiasco. The crowd had been overwhelming, the lights and sounds felt like a blur. It was through all this chaos and turmoil that he had one thing keeping him planted firmly on the ground. As much as he didn’t want to admit it to himself, and certainly not to the others yet, Frank had become his rock. His punk. His own personal brand of crack. Frank may not have known it yet, but Gerard intended to find out if his feelings were more than his own.
He couldn’t help but hear Geoff’s lyrics in his head, “we’re betting on our own lives, making up for all the time we lost in this house of cards.” Feeling unsettled by the thought of the time he missed, the time he hadn’t spent with Frank. He was getting ahead of himself, this was all just a fantasy. He needed a distraction.
“That Thursday sure knows how to get the crowd going, don’t they?” he tried to break the silence.
“They really have some punk moves,” Mikey piped up, sensing things felt strange."
#he's a tech guy he does not write fanfic#but he wrote this to cheer me up and had to share his sillies#i just feel really lucky honestly#this is so sweet and funny and perfect#had to put it out (with permission)#mcr fanfiction#frerard#bullets era#punk moves is an inside joke#my chemical romance#frank iero#gerard way#mcr
59 notes
·
View notes
Text
Honestly, I could talk about Lucky Patch for hours. I didn't expect to like their dynamic when I played UTY for the first time, yet here we are.
To be honest, I did not like Flowey prior to Undertale Yellow. To me he was merely a side piece to the overall story of Undertale, I disregarded him and focused on the Dreemurr family which in hindsight does include him, just not in the way that I could comprehend back when I was younger. UTY really helped me in understanding his character and realized just why he was so compelling. Now he's one of my top favorite UTDR characters. I still hate this stupid flower though, I wish the worst for him /j /pos.
And Clover, I did not expect to attach myself to this child so much. Clover's personality is rather hard to get unless you were really looking in between the lines and other easily missed dialogue or in-game narration. Thankfully, I am the kind of player that remembers really small details, especially when it comes dialogue and narration. I do admit that I project to Clover a lot, my fics are a testament to that. However, I did enjoy them as a character and protagonist in their own right, removing all biases will not change that. They are one of my comfort characters and favorite characters of all time.
Combining the two, we get Lucky Patch. I do see why most people I've seen in the fandom might not like this dynamic, it's not for everyone especially if you aren't into peeling off layers upon layers of a character. Though, I am really happy that the Lucky Patch enjoyers are much more present here on Tumblr. If you don't look closely or take things at face value, Lucky Patch is a toxic dynamic built on lies and cruelty. Even when looking further, you cannot deny that aspect. But what makes them compelling is that this dynamic is mostly driven by the characters and their psychology. Especially Flowey's. If you do not understand the character, you will most likely miss the intricacies that make them, them.
Clover and Flowey's relationship span across all timelines and routes, so taking their relationship from one route only is not the way to go. That's the reasoning to the most common complaint I see when it comes to them, most non-Lucky Patch enjoyers only see their relationship from one angle or route. Most of the time, they take it from the vengeance route or neutral. My reply to that is that their relationship develops as the routes change. From vengeance, neutral, to pacifist, their dynamic changes in accordance but you can see why when you look closely at the context being given to us throughout their interactions in each route. At the end, you will understand why Flowey lets Clover go. Why he spew his little speech at the end of the true pacifist end.
In other words, I love these tragic doomed toxic codependent flowers so much and I will commit atrocities to defend them.
#I like them a lot if you couldn't tell#This isn't really an analysis more like just laying the ground works on my feelings towards the two#Honestly I don't see lucky patch as inherently platonic or romantic. They're very much a secret third thing to me#I swear I will post my analysis of them but today is not the day#I can't believe I spent an hour on this and it doesn't even make sense. Welcome to my blog where I post my insane and incoherent ramblings#To the void without any regards if they're understandable#lucky patch#flowey#undertale yellow#undertale#clover#uty clover#🍀🌼#🍀🌼 ramblings#🌼🍀#uty
41 notes
·
View notes
Text
I'm still thinking about how ashamed I was (and am) with being open about my pain because I am so young. It's so hard to feel worthy of having your pain taken seriously when the people around you insist that young bodies are always in pristine, untouched condition and that you must earn your pain through aging. Never is it considered that young people aren't lying or being a hypochondriac for expressing their pain.
Young people can be in life-altering pain. Young people can have debilitating pain. It doesn't matter what age it happens because pain doesn't discriminate. Complaining about pain and doing things to prevent needless pain aren't something you have to "earn" through aging.
If you want young people to be in less or lesser pain, then encourage them to do whatever they can to minimize it. Don't downplay what they're experiencing. Not everything is a lie, not every experience that is different than yours is exaggeration or deceit.
#disability#ableism#ableism tw#this is one of the big reasons i was ashamed of admitting when i am in pain#and it's one of the reasons i was ashamed to address the pain i have#and i'm angry about that actually! nobody should fear being labeled as essentially having munchausen syndrome because...#...'young people NEVER have pain or disabilities and you're a liar!'#i really do want to start addressing my pain because i know it's not normal but holy shit batman it can suck sometimes#i honestly like talking to my dad about this because he also has a lot of pain (moreso than i do now) but he actually TRIES to listen...#putting this in the disability tag but i still don't feel right about labeling my own pain as such...#...but i know so many people with disabling pain who would relate...#...maybe it's internalized ableism on my part or maybe i just want to be respectful of people with worse pain#this is me really just reflecting on m the fact that i haven't ever had an amazing body in a lot of ways (though i am lucky still)#i'm still thinking about having an emergency cane to help me get up when my pain is bad but idk if it's worth the investment#so if anybody reading this has suggestions (esp. for those with back pain)... please hook me up i will platonically love you forever
247 notes
·
View notes
Text
something I’ve been thinking abt is how many people think Makoto is immune to despair. I don’t think he is. I think becoming the ultimate Hope was BECAUSE he felt despair. He wouldn’t have fully reached that point without Junko. Makoto becoming such a beacon was his last attempt to avoid completely falling and it wasn’t because he didn’t feel despair, it was because he was too damn stubborn to allow everything to go to waste and he refused to sacrifice his beliefs for someone else’s. His inner monologue tells me he DID experience the same new low the other suvivors did in the final trial, but at the point where he had the choice to give up and die, he looked at the others and he looked at Junko and he couldn’t allow it to happen, not out of self preservation, but because the idea that Junko would have control over their lives made him FURIOUS. and that utter refusal to die kicked in, wether luck or otherwise, and he made the concious effort for one last push while something in him was breaking. He had to be broken in order for the Ultimate Hope to come through so aggressively, bc it could only exist in the face of the Ultimate Despair. He snapped the same way she did, but in the other direction. In what could have been his final moments he chose to embody everything Junko wasn’t, and every single optimistic and luck fueled ideal in him suddenly charged forward and pushed him. It was a combination of the final straw and a choice. Makoto isn’t immune to feeling despair, he’s just too stubborn to fall into it of his own volition. I think that’s why I like that scene in DR3 so much. People were SO SHOCKED Makoto actually fell for the tape, that he actually became despair for a moment. I saw people getting mad or disappointed, saying it was pathetic and Makoto seemed to fall from some sort of pedestal for them. Honestly part of me wonders if that sort of mentality, which clearly people had in universe, affected Makoto a bit. Like he started to see himself as less of a person, subconsciously. Prompting him to take more risks, less self preservation, act way more bold. It seems he has to be reminded a lot not to put himself in danger by his friends, to not do something too reckless. All over the place I would see in regards to that scene either this frivolous ‘oh this was just angst drama with no meaning behind it’ or ‘he can do better than that. he’s so weak’ or ‘come on, there’s no way he’d fall into despair, he’s the Ultimate Hope!’ This kind of mentality, which was kind of ironic considering Ryota was there the entire time saying the same thing and treating Makoto the same way. Like Makoto was superhuman. Like Makoto didn’t feel despair the same way ‘normal people’ did. In a way that was also how Munakata saw Makoto. Makoto stopped being a PERSON to the world when he became Ultimate Hope, he became a concept, a belief system, much the same way Junko ascended beyond herself. But the difference is that treating Makoto that way is the opposite of the reason Makoto became such a representative for hope. He wasn’t doing something no one else could. He was doing something everyone had the chance to, he just… was a little more optimistic, a little more stubborn, a little more ‘gung-ho’ about things. He just took the lead where no one else did, where no one else knew they even COULD in the face of Junko’s unstoppable force. She had overcome the biggest threats and obstacles in the world, what could one person do? And the answer Makoto found was, anything. Everything. It doesn’t all rest on Makoto, he’s just the one that was inspired to try to do what seemed like the impossible. But as evidenced by the change in his friends after that trial, it’s clearly not something only Makoto is capable of. The others pulled out of despair thanks to Makoto, but it was their choice to do so.
“But… this world is so huge, and we’re so small. What can we do…? No, we can probably do anything. Yeah! We can do anything!”
#makoto naegi#Danganronpa character analysis#Danganronpa#danganronpa thh#danganronpa future arc#I fucking love Makoto Naegi man.#I think there’s a fine line of nuance to Makoto that’s easy to miss bc he doesn’t really make it known#he’s not a pushover and he’s not overpowered. he’s a people pleaser but he will say what needs to be said#he’s an immovable object and the exact opposite of Junko but he’s also just a normal guy who’s optimistic and (un)lucky#he isn’t invincible but he has immense power to his words the same way Junko did#if anything his superpower is being kind above all else. he’s compassionate to some of the worst people in the world.#he was even conpassionatr to an extent to Junko. he didnt want her to kill herself despite everything she’s done#and he still acknowledges that for years she was a classmate and friend.#I do think the more he learned abt what she did the more he’s come to actually hate her though#post the first game he always refers to her without a suffix to her name which is one of the most subtle rude things you can do#it means you have zero respect for the person you’re referring to#and he speaks about her with some venom he doesn’t use for anyone else in the future arc#he’s not incapable of feeling negative emotions#I really liked the future arc scene bc it showed that Makoto DID experience enough despair to have overcome him if he didn’t refuse#and that it still affects him deeply. people treat him like he’s either this perfect ideal Chad or this baby chick who’s so delicate#and no one really focuses on how makoto shoulders so much and yet is still vulnerable.#honestly that guy was DUE for a mental breakdown even without the tape. it would have happened eventually#I actually wrote one based on him finally hitting a breaking point after giving so much of himself away and keeping nothing for himself#that his issues that he shoves down constantly finally can’t be held down anymore. Hajime helps him bc he knows how that feels#it was a LONG time ago that I wrote that but honestly if I can remember where i was going w it I might finish it#it was initially an rp but I could make it a fic#anyway. the point is Makoto is SO much more complex than people give him credit for#the most fundamental thing about him is that he’s normal and that’s ok! that’s what helps him rise!
70 notes
·
View notes
Text
Hello, Dean
#THIS. THIS ACTUALLY TOOK ME WAY MORE THAN IT SHOULD HAVE PLEASE WATCH THIS#I migh or might not have also edited a bit the ending because fuck my life I can't see that tiktok-cut scene it just kills me. also fuck all#that yellow#i have mo regrets but please watch it#i tried my best it's now 4 am i have again. been possesed by the Destiel of November 5th#basically. basically 4 years ago i figured out that castiel always says Hello Dean#and . and just Once. Just once Goodbye Dean#honestly. i wish i could. eat god#anyway. i jave yes indeed edited the ending too because OT WAS ALREADY TWO AM WHAT SHOULD I HAVE DOEN??? STOPPED THEREEEE??? WHAT FOR????#so yeha. whatever fuck me fuck you fuck the cw and fuck everything we deserved at least a GOO d edited ending.#at least that#fuck fuck fuck#no but really you know#i understand everything and it's okay#but at least if you have to spit on my face one last time. at least make it count. make it worth it. make me FEEL LIKE YOU CARED#we deserved better. at least a good editing. at least that#but yeah happy nov 5h#nov 5th#nov 5 2024#spn#supernatural#destiel#dean winchester#castiel#deancas#:(#the internet is so lucky I'm not unemployed anymore. so. lucky#also it's so sad that Cas doesn't say Hello dean after season 11(12 if u wanna be precise) and all the others are just fake cas trying to#trick dean :((( i miss you cas i miss youuu
25 notes
·
View notes
Note
Thinking about steddie future where they're both just average guys. No rockstars, no basketball players just two Normal men living a normal life because honestly? they deserve it. They deserve soft domesticity and happiness.
They both have jobs they like but don't love and they're happy with that. Eddie maybe becomes an electrician, working for someone else's company. His coworkers are chill, he gets to get out and work with his hands and that's more than he could have asked for. Steve is a physical therapist, or a manager in some business. He likes his team and the steady hours. He's not working for his dad which is a plus.
They buy a house together, that's not a mansion but it's not a trailer either. Steve does a lot of the dishes because Eddie hates it, hates the feeling of old food on the plates and cutlery. So Eddie will kiss Steve on the cheek and does the laundry because Steve fucking hates laundry. And sitting on the floor watching TV while he folds clothes is honestly sort of relaxing?? Love is doing the chores your partner hates.
Steve and Robin go out for brunch at least once a month, where they catch up and gossip for hours and hours and Steve comes home lighter with updates on Robin and Vickie. Eddie will have nightly phone calls with Wayne, where they talk and laugh and Eddie will eventually hand the phone over to Steve so he and Wayne can talk sports together. When he's in town Dustin will come over and stay in their spare room and they laugh and joke so much it's just like old times. They go over to Jeff's house for dinner on a semi regular basis, and it's nice having normal friends.
They adopt a very annoying cat who will climb all over them in bed and meow in their faces when they don't wake up to feed it breakfast in time. Steve will go for jogs on a Saturday morning, coming home to Eddie reading in bed. Some old western book Wayne recommended to him. There's a steaming cup of coffee waiting on their bedside tables that Eddie's prepared.
They take time off of work and go on a week long vacation because they can do that now. They do dorky touristy things and Eddie buys a mug to send to Wayne. Steve takes a lot of dorky photos of the two of them.
Idk they deserve to be normal and alive and happy with no upside down anymore <3
Oh I love this! I had actually been thinking about tradesman Eddie for a little bit I am so, so glad you’ve come up with this!
I can so completely see him learning a trade and just getting employed and put through his time by a small local employer! He has to go through his exams and that part of it worries him when he first gets the job but his team end up being really supportive and Steve stays up late with him, practicing circuits and wiring and quizzing him on currents and volts. Eddie returning the favour, letting Steve mark up his muscles and be a living anatomy dummy. Sure it gets a little sexy from time to time but more often than not it’s just them testing each other as Steve identifies bones and Eddie talks about parallel circuits.
The monthly brunches mentally and physically revive Steve after working extended hours with patients that he really does want the best for but a jobs a job and it can get pretty tiring. They joke that they rebalance each others chakras but they really do feel realigned after their meet ups. Eddie can see it to, sometimes he’ll come pick them up when it’s been a boozy brunch and delights in seeing them happy and light, clambering over each other to tell Eddie something about one of the waiters or an especially good dish they ordered. When he drops Robin home Steve sits in the front and looks at peace and Eddie feels the same way.
Their weekends are for them, sometimes that means staying home and cleaning the whole place between ordering food in and sometimes that means going on a day trip and taking Wayne around all the antique spots around the county and seeing what horrors they can uncover. Top spot currently sits with Wayne’s find of a doll whose limbs had been replaced with horse legs and had the head of a fish. Of course they bought it.
Every time they go on a holiday they make sure to send postcards to everyone, including themselves, seeing if they’ll get home before the postcard does. Steve keeps them in a photo album, each with a Polaroid of them next to it. Sometimes taken by a stranger, sometimes just a close up of their faces squashed together. It’s Eddie’s favourite thing to go through on their anniversary, or any day really, just loves being reminded that this is the life they get to have.
It’s mundane, dare say even normal, but they love it. Steve comes home every night, happy to put his scrubs in the washing machine next to Eddie’s uniform, happy to be where he feels loved.
#momo :((((( you never put a foot wrong and your words are Art#I honestly feel very lucky to receive them#cat dads is so painfully true. they buy it the best food they can afford and toys and cat nip and pander to its every need#and it just loves them so aggressively for it. they have one of those baby slings for it#I love them doing dorky tourist stuff!!! I want them messing with perspective to create funny photos like holding buildings#Steve being on the phone with Wayne for the entirety of the game so they can discuss it real time. sometimes it’s just silence and Eddie#will go to speak and both Steve and Wayne will stress shush him so he goes off to meet Jeff and the guys#sometimes the guys come over and they have a night of whatever movie has come out on tape#it’s domestic and normal and they get old and happier#they go to whatever gig eddie gets tickets for. they go on their first trip abroad. they host Christmas.#(only the once though. neither of them have recovered from that experience)#idk you are just so right they can just be normal guys in love and being happy#sorry this isn’t the best reply I’m very rusty. I just love your ideas#thank you so much I really mean it#momo#stranger things#eddie munson#steddie#steve harrington#ask
325 notes
·
View notes
Note
I've been thinking about alien stage and milgram so
All in (Hyuna and Till) but it's with Kotoko and Fuuta
OOHH I've been going crazy over this -- I've only touched on Milgram/Alien Stage aus a bit but now I'm hooked 👀 I was playing around for a while with how to incorporate the song specifically, and had a ton of fun with this lyric/scene experiment, haha! I was shocked at how well the song would suit them even in Milgram canon... I used gender neutral descriptions for the Mizi-character because I'm not sure who people would picture for that role, and wanted to leave it open. Also um. tw major character death :( sorry.
Your eyes grow wide at my dazzling entrance, and your heart beats fast, OK! There's no point fighting back – this is the march of the fools.
The rebel leader stands proudly on the stage. Her followers practically howl at her arrival. Their gathering spot may have been a secret, but they didn’t bother being quiet about their excitement. The tides are turning, and everyone feels it. It doesn’t matter what kind of front the aliens put up; everyone knows the fear that their leader strikes into her enemies. Every planet, moon, and ship knows what she’s capable of. They know that going up against her brass knuckles will only have one outcome for them. No matter the cost, Yuzuriha Kotoko will come out on top.
Endless cheer and applause – I hear the song grow louder and louder. Fill up the entire nebula!
The contestant brings his guitar down with all the force he can muster, sparks flying out and scorching his hands. The audience roars at the display. He’s tired of all those eyes watching him, but at least he’s making them all watch as he destroys some little piece of them. For now, they only find morbid curiosity in his fruitless rage, but someday he’ll sing loud enough, act loud enough, scream loud enough that the galaxy will be forced to hear him. To alien and human alike, the face of Kajiyama Fuuta is an icon of rebellion.
Just laugh, hey kick and break ya! To the galaxy shining bright, chi-cheers. Change the game with a single action. Trust me and I'll show you, chi-cheers.
Kotoko’s boot cracks bones on impact. It wasn’t even her steel leg that had rendered her enemy into this mess. The alleyway is too hidden and the neon city street too distracted for anyone to hear the alien’s final cries at her feet. Her team catches up with her, breathless with exertion and shock at the victim she leaves in her wake. As soon as she holds up what they came here to get, all doubt leaves them. Their ship will echo with celebration tonight.
We only get one life, so I'm living mine for me, cause I'm the one from your wildest dreams. I'll create a fantasy in this crazy world and change it all, I'm going all-in.
“Ha-ha –!” Fuuta hasn’t heard himself laugh in a long time. It isn’t a pleasant sound, and neither is the chaos that follows as the fight escalates. But damn, did it feel good. The lights of the paparazzi blind him as he’s yanked out of a magnetic train car. The crowd deafens him. The aliens around him bruise and break him down. But he holds tight to the things deep in his mind. He imagines himself as a shining hero. He thinks of them – his own hero. He conjures up a world that’s better for both of them. It’s for this reason he wrenches his arm away from those holding him back. Though his collar buzzes with electricity, he takes another swing.
A universe brimming with dreams… Who will remain standing at the end of it all? Don't you wanna know? Caught within rules without rules, a bird is set free. I hear the song grow louder, fill up the entire nebula!
As the glass shatters around her, Kotoko can’t help but savor the moment suspended in the air. Given her many escapes over the years, she hadn’t been worried about making it out in one piece. And yet her heart races each time she tastes freedom again. She lands on her feet, pausing to make sure her newest recruit is keeping up. Kotoko flashes a wide, toothy smile at them, and they return it shakily. They seem a bit shaken by all the blood that had been spilled on the way, but Kotoko is proud of how quickly they’ve adapted to this liberated lifestyle. She’s riding the thrill of success, knowing she’s changed the outcome of Alien Stage once again. Another weak human saved from their captors. Another victory.
Just laugh, hey kick and break ya! To the galaxy shining bright, chi-cheers. Change the game with a single action. Trust me and I'll show you, chi-cheers.
Smoke chokes Fuuta’s lungs, but it doesn’t hold him back. The private dinner room is full of the rich and powerful as they eat, smoke, and laugh at humans’ expense. They place bets on the upcoming competition rounds. They harass Fuuta to perform for them, eyes of all shapes and colors boring into him. Through the haze and dim lights, the spark of resistance is burning as bright as always. He dares to talk back at a figure who is not used to being talked back to. Fuuta dodges a few strikes, even getting in a few kicks of his own before he’s overwhelmed with a blow to his right eye.
We only get one life, so I'm living mine for me, cause I'm the one from your wildest dreams. I'll create a fantasy in this crazy world and change it all, I'm going all-in.
Kotoko tries to hide her snarl at the massive advertisement screens they pass. Even flying by at these speeds, she gets a clear look at the Alien Stage champion and his coy smile. It churns her stomach. She had always wondered why any contestant would willingly stand up there and sing, knowing it would get someone else killed. They were complicit in murder, if you asked her. But this man – his actions were far more than “complicit.” The face of a tiny girl flashes through her mind. For a moment, she’s lost in a vision of the girl by her side – still laughing, still carefree in the world that Kotoko is working towards. Reality returns to her. She discharges her weapon directly into an alien’s face.
Every obstacle in my way, I've crushed them all. Step all over me but I'll rise again. It's you who's in the wrong, bet you had no idea.
The lights go up, and Fuuta sways on his feet. He finds himself instantly winded as he starts to sing. The heat from the show’s pyrotechnics make him even dizzier. His good eye surveys the crowd. He would not let these villains win. They took the people he cared about. They took the people who cared about him. Hell, they even took his guitar. He knows that by the end, they’ll take his life, too. It’s all the more reason to continue. He sees now that his intensity had inspired others, even if it hadn’t saved them. Fuuta refuses to go down quietly. He refuses to stop singing. He opens his mouth:
“Hey!”
Kotoko shouts it after the new recruit, but their mind is made up. She’s left clutching at her injury and frantically typing on the huge machine, trying to complete their original mission. The screen streaming the event flashes with images of the redhead pouring his heart out onstage. Kotoko lets out a strangled sound of frustration and stands to follow.
Just laugh, hey kick and break ya! To the galaxy shining bright, chi-cheers. Change the game with a single action. Trust me and I'll show you, chi-cheers. Whatever comes to mind, give it a chance. Contemplate all you want, won't change a thing.
Blood pools around the losing contestant. All that shouting and he can’t even choke out a goodbye, now. The intruder stands in the one place she spent her life fighting tooth and nail to escape forever. They lock eyes. They’d only heard accounts of the other, but in that brief moment, they understand. They are just two humans, two loud humans, who had a vision of how bright the universe could be someday. Despite it all, they both ended up here, doomed to die on this stage after singing out to an uncaring audience. Fuuta’s gaze slips away. He offers one last smile to his hero. For the first and last time, he is content. Kotoko turns her attention away from them, to the audience. She clenches her fists and feels very far from content.
Don’t you dare stop now –
Justice assemble! Till the end –
Ride the waves of passing time, and run with the wind 'til morning, don't stop.
#milgram#kotoko yuzuriha#fuuta kajiyama#alien stage#CURSE YOU ANON FOR MAKING ME SAD ABOUT TILL ALL OVER AGAIN WAAHHH#id say i still havent recovered from blink gone but honestly all of the till sections reminded me just how shitty he had it -_-#thank you for your patience!! i literally started working on this one right away but writing has just been so slow going rip#but i really enjoyed thinking about them filling these roles and how their canon symbolism/strengths/flaws would tie in 👀👀👀#i wanted to do more with fuutas potential religiousness next trial and the alien stage symbol of god but could quite fit it in right#i imagined luka as kotokos victim just for the sake of the lucky flashback but i know people probably wanted a milgram character oops#so i figured i could at least leave mizi open. ive seen several aus with mahiru in that spot#but i feel like 02/06/08/09 could all fill that role of fuutas (possibly platonic) savior and kotokos new partner in crime#not connected to this but you should go check out moibakadesus milgram/alien stage art from yesterday (featuring till-fuuta + hyuna-kotoko)#drabbles
9 notes
·
View notes
Text
I. Hurt.
And I was hurting anyway, I'm pretty down this morning, but this hurt came from an outside source, and affected me in a way I'd honestly not have expected.
See, we bought Nimona last week. After seeing the movie, my kids wanted to read it. And I ended up reading ahead, and I just finished it.
Bonus content at the end, it said, and I was like, oh, an epilogue to the epilogue maybe? That'd be nice. I don't love bittersweet endings, I'd rather...
...no, it's not the conclusion.
It's CHRISTMAS.
In a book that'd had no religion that I noticed up to that point, BOTH bonus extras...were Christmas.
Ya know, usually it doesn't bother me. Usually I just suck it up. I think it helps that I was raised around mostly Jews and people who, if Christian, it didn't matter much to them. I'm from the Upper West Side of Manhattan, the descendent of Lower East Side immigrants, and while the world outside was brutal - my grandfather was a World War 2 veteran and among the soldiers who liberated Dachau, I can't remember a time when I didn't know that most people would look the other way if people like me were slaughtered wholesale - my bubble was safe, we were accepted, we were insiders.
I honestly can't think of another time I've interacted with a piece of media and felt so immediately, instantly knocked across the face by OUTSIDER as I just did when I excitedly turned the page to see what these fun extra bonuses were...and it was fucking Christmas.
I didn't even read them.
I'm honestly. So disappointed.
I don't have a thick armor for this kind of hurt. I'm Jewish, and as an adult living outside my old UWS bubble, that's often meant I've felt like an outlier, but I've hardly ever had this feeling where I was welcome to something only to be suddenly, violently shoved out the door.
And I've heard nothing, n.o.t.h.i.n.g. but praise for this book. And on another day, it might not have bothered me. I've never really felt like I had to fight to be seen, especially since I'm tremendously secular. I mean, I've celebrated Christmas my entire life, for starters.
But why. Why was this fantasy setting suddenly Christian? Why was this the touted extra content? Why is THIS special, when the areligious world established to that point was apparently not special enough?
I can't say yet if this ruined the story for me. It's far too soon. But I'm *intensely*, viscerally let down, and...I hurt.
Christians...maybe stop doing this shit.
#unforth rambles#im not sure how to tag this#i dont want to tag fandom since its kinda anti#and i dont want to tag antisemitism cause its not really#and i dont want to tag microaggressions cause thatll just show my privilege that ive been lucky enough to not have this feeling more often#but seriously WHAT THE FUCK#im genuinely considering rereading just so i can see if it was always christian and i just missed it until then#because its so fucking ubiquitous that it slides right off#but i dont think it was!!!#WHYS IT GOTTA BE CHRISTIAN WHAT THE HELL#and why have i never heard this mentioned surely im not the only person to notice this#maybe it was less jarring for people who rwad along with the webcomic#since these were extras released along thw qay#not shoved in the back of the book like in the print edition#i dont fucking know#i just know i hate it#this special fun thing could have been anything#and instead it was for one specific segment of the audience#and thats honestly so unnecessary and kinda yicky#dont you guys every get tired of making everything about your fucking dumb holidays you stole from other cultures#give me back passover i demand you turn over easter as a reparation
70 notes
·
View notes
Text
AND AS IT TURNED OUT, THE THINGS THAT WERE ALONGSIDE ME FROM THE START, REMAINED THERE FOR ME ALONG THE WAY. [inspired by my stuffed rabbit, violet. also inspired by the sunrise of a new day. and inspired by this crazy cool album art]
#luckys original content#IDK WHAT CAME OVER ME HONESTLY..#i smoked a new weed and got hit with Random Potion Effect: NEW ARTSTYLE#and this beast spawned in i guess. the idea is that the head and arm are replaced by something else#something more free. the rest of the form is slime. bc i wish i was made of slime. the sword matches the green plant life#my momma really loves peacocks and all the colors that come with them. i really love my momma.#all the little doodles are just coagulated feelings. i like painting my thoughts in abstract little ways. this was a fun challenge.#i love just drawin whatever the fuck... makes my soul feel better#i have a job interview tomorrow and im NERVOUS bc ive been trying to jam my foot into the door for like a month#someone on the inside has been trying to help me aboard but UUUGHHHH its still been a swan chase of reschedules#wish me luck lads im going in
20 notes
·
View notes
Note
So, never done an ask before so I hope this is okay.
Can I just say how much I enjoy the interactions between you and ask-emily? It it's so cool to me how you and another person are writing together. And the stories are wonderful! Not just the Ass/Emily saga, but all of them. I thoroughly enjoy the 5 fallen and the world you've built. I found you and your stories through fanart, and I'm not disappointed. It's wonderful! I find myself checking both your blogs and Ao3 daily when I can. Thank you for writing and sharing your stories!
Anywho, I hope you have a good night! I hope gushing over how much I enjoy your stories is okay for an ask.
((Hey, I'm super flattered! I'm glad you like it all and @ask-emily-em-emmy has been awesome to RP with! All the folks who've shown support and interacted with the Fallen really took me by surprise but I'm having a blast and I'm glad others are enjoying themselves, too! I started this blog to flesh out some of the background shenanigans happening in the BBL that wouldn't fit in the main series (which I'm still writing, lol, there's more to come I promise) and have really enjoyed how they've grown in such a short time. I figured I'd answer this out of character but feel free to send more asks; these knuckleheads will be around to answer 'em!
Again, thank you so much for showing your support. I'm forever happy that I can entertain others with my shenanigans.))
#ooc post#ask the fallen#lutualverse#I honestly feel so lucky#almost everything these idiots have been up to on this blog#is 100% improv no prior planning except for like 2-3 things to coincide with BBL events#all the actual interactions though are just off the cuff#really talented storytellers and some really great anons feeding prompts
8 notes
·
View notes
Text
Okay so...
This isn't usually what I do but I kinda need to get things off my chest.
So...Rant/Vent..
I kinda...haven't had too much fun drawing Blotwald lately.
Don't get me wrong, I still love the character, and I'm in no way giving up on him, I wouldn't do that to you guys.
I just..I haven't been feeling like myself lately, I've been really busy and working a lot and..I have to admit, it's felt like I've been trying to force myself to draw Blotwald stuff, and it's really difficult to come up with ideas because I'm not as good as any of you guys in your ability to draw.
That's why I mostly do Blotwald with these other aus.
Because I'm pathetic, and I can't think of anything to draw with him because of that, hell, sometimes I don't even know how to draw him with those aus to begin with.
I guess it's just that..without Blotwald, I still would've just...been another small account, barely able to get anything off the ground.
I'm scared that if I stopped drawing Blotwald content, you'd all get bored and just..move on.
I want to stop drawing for a minute, I really do..but I feel like nobody's going to care about me if I do.
I'm sorry, I shouldn't be whining like this on my account, I just needed to vent.
#sorry#im sorry#i swear ill do something to make up for it#i just need some time#honestly i feel like i should add oswald the lucky rabbit as a tag because its the only way you guys notice my posts#again really sorry you probably dont wanna hear this#ill do better#i promise
6 notes
·
View notes
Text
Urgh I’m getting so sick of the other people on my uni course. For context this is a largely vocational course with a very small class size at a small land based college/university. All they do is complain! It’s driving me crazy! I understand I come from a privileged position in education so I may have more knowledge/understanding (grammar school) but they just keep whining about our assignments! I’m finding them hard too, but I get so many messages in the course WhatsApp about referencing, scientific sources and academic writing! This is why you come to university! To learn! I am doing this course not only to develop practical skills but to learn how to write! YOU NEED TO REFERENCE SCIENTIFIC SOURCES TO BACK UP YOUR DATA OR INFORMATION IN A PIECE OF WORK. IF THE WORK IS ALL YOUR OWN WRITING THEN IT WON’T STAND UP TO ACADEMIC SCRUTINY. YOU DON’T NEED TO BE AMAZING AT THIS RIGHT NOW BUT PLEASE, PLEASE JUST BE OPEN TO THE CONCEPT OF LEARNING! WE’RE NOT JUST DOING ANIMAL CARE THIS COURSE IS UNIVERSITY LEVEL - WE ARE LEARNING HOW TO WORK TO THAT STANDARD.
I don’t want to say anything to them because they could turn right round and tell me that nowt everyone did A-levels and I realise everyone has different abilities but it’s so negative. I feel like most of the people on the course would have been much happier just stopping at college or entering the workforce. Again, I know I’ve had the privilege of doing some form of academic writing at sixth form so I knew what to expect (unlike these people) but it’s just getting me down and I’m sick of hearing this stuff. I’d honestly be a bit happier if the loudest voices in this issue would just drop out so I can get on and do my fun animal themed uni course
#I feel nervous about this because I don’t like talking about people behind their backs but honestly it’s good to get it all out#I got really lucky with my flatmates and we’re all#good or at least quite good friends#we have film nights and everything#it’s driving me crazy that people on a university level course think referencing is ‘bullshit’ when it’s the basis for most of our work#I’m really enjoying the actual course content. it’s really good#doesn’t feel like work more like fun facts#again. I don’t want to be nasty or anything I just need to vent#personal vent
4 notes
·
View notes
Text
#airika txt.#i was so scared that the session today would be like awkward after finding out my therapist was leaving at the end of june#but lemme tell youuuuuuu 😭#i’m going to miss her so so SO much#this was probably one of the best and most soul bearing sessions we’ve had#and the fact it coincides with the nearly one year mark since starting therapy#it just … it feels good?#there was a lot of crying a lot of laughing#but i’m also so like honored i got to have this convo with her#we talked a lot about hell***** and how the games have really opened up old wounds#and closed ones i didn’t even know were opened#i’m super thankful i could be as open as i was with her bc i do not think i would have been able to be as vulnerable with a new person#and idk if they would have known how to respond like she did#she’s honestly one of the easiest people to talk to and i’m just —#yeah i feel very lucky that THIS convo is one i got to have with her before our time together ended#it feels very much … like closing the door on a part of me that needed to be validated and nurtured and understood#so that this next door / therapist can help me on the rest of my healing journey
12 notes
·
View notes
Text
Doc will be your biggest supporter this pride month because he doesn't care what y'all are doing or who you're doing so long as you're both into it and it makes you happy
#except capital crimes he does not support this - no murdering allowed#attractions and feelings work in mysterious ways and he's just like - go for it if you like this person#plus i can see doc as the type of guy who - if he developed feelings for someone the way he did with clara#it wouldn't matter how they presented - as doc ultimately falls for someone's personality and mind and the things that make them *them*#over any type of physical attributes#clara just happens to be the whole entire package - perfection honestly - and he's a lucky bastard#not that he really thinks about this stuff too much anyway - these types of feelings are very out of his wheelhouse fjals;dfj#&; there's something about that one 「 ooc 」
12 notes
·
View notes
Text
Should make a pain killer that actually kills (or even touches) pain
#not that I have access to ultra hardcore stuff#but even when I had... pretty sure it was vicodine for my wisdom teeth; it didn't do a thing for me#cbd based stuff seems like it maybe helps; certainly does more than nsaids which do nothing for pain (great for inflammation though)#but I just... I'd really like something that actually makes my muscles and joints feel like... good; unpain#I'm sure it would be classified as addictive whatever it was but like... fuck man... I just want to not hurt#I can't tell if I have chronic pain cause... I kinda forget to pay attention when I'm hurting a lot of the time#I'll just... kinda realize I've been hurting bad all day and just not really focusing on it#and I also don't know how often it happens; if it's once a day or once a month or what; not great at noting that stuff down#but man... I don't even like most meds; so many meds either do nothing for me or make me feel like shit#like... benedril? however you spell it; someone gave me some once said it would help me sleep... help me be awake feeling like ass more lik#but like... love to see if muscle relaxants actually like... relaxed my muscles; but you get it; you get why I'll never be able to try it#though honestly I think therapeutic massage might help me a lot#but my doc says that really only gets authorized by physical therapy and... well for me physical therapy is useless#cause I forget to do the exercise; like it's me failing a physical therapy; not a probably with physical therapy#if I ever think I can keep up with it I'd love to try physical therapy for my back again; but I don't want to waste all my chances at it#not when... I descriptively didn't do it when I was in it before; I'd never remember to do any of the exercises#anyway; bonus story from when I was in urgent care when the infection came back (that's still never been solved)#I tell the doc 'last time it tore open a drainage hole it was the worst pain I've ever felt'... cause it was#I said 'I'll need something a bit stronger than an nsaid cause the nsaid did nothing but cut inflammation last time'#she's like 'don't worry; I got you'... wanna guess what she gave me? a newer nsaid#it didn't do shit; I was just lucky and it wasn't as painful... maybe the old drainage hole tore open easier this time#but I didn't even take the nsaid she prescribed; so I'm gonna say it wasn't that med helping#like I get it; you don't want to give opioids... and would it shock you to know that wasn't what I was looking for either#there's gotta be something between nsaid and fentynol man#...well... maybe the cdb has almost got my muscles... hurting less at least; only taken all this time I've been writing#they still hurt for sure... I don't know... get tired; you know?#mm tag so i can find things later
6 notes
·
View notes
Text
I learned tonight that my friend group (that my fiancé adopted me into) was secretly very concerned about me the first time I was gone for a weekend to travel and see this new doctor, like they thought I might have been going to the Mayo Clinic or some shit. Really I’m just going to the guy that a family member with similar health issues highly recommended.
I just think that’s cute lmao
#like yeah he’s in a neighboring state but it’s not that far and it works out for me#and he listens to me and wants to treat the cause(s) of my symptoms and not *just* the symptoms themselves#for the longest time I thought I was gonna have to resort to the fucking mayo clinic and now I’ve learned that I don’t have to#I feel really really lucky and honestly very privileged but I’m not gonna feel bad about it#I believed so strongly that my symptoms were all related and that they needed to be treated in concert and not in a vacuum#it just was a matter of finding a professional who agreed#and here in the west that’s like playing the medical system on hard mode#but yeah lmao it’s kinda funny that they’re concerned for me but would NEVER let me know#I’m not even mad like. I don’t need them to care about me but it’s nice to know
5 notes
·
View notes