#i just feel really lucky honestly
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abrandnewshadow · 27 days ago
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my husband wanted to cheer me up so he out of nowhere wrote me this insanely era accurate bullets yaoi and i'm sobbing
(takes place as they're leaving hellfest 06/22/2003)
"It was a surprisingly pleasant July day as the van rattled its way west bound on I-90. The mountains to the south were barely a hill from this distance, the rolling farmland whistled by through the barely cracked window. The air-conditioning would be on had it still worked, but the breeze would have to suffice. Suddenly the vehicle jolted to the side with a loud whack as the tire briefly left the road over a pothole before quickly slapping rugged pavement once more.
“What was that?” mumbled a voice from the back. The curtain drawn shut to block out the light. They had barely slept in three days. 
“Just a pothole, this road out of Syracuse really sucks. Go back to sleep”
The voice mumbled some more before falling silent. 
“I might like him better when he’s asleep,” Gerard said to Ray. He flicked his cigarette one last time before dropping it and rolling up the window.
“I should probably get some sle-” he was quickly cut off as Frank roared from behind the curtain.
“Seriously? You hit me in the face with that stupid cigarette!”
Gerard hadn’t realized he wasn’t the only one enjoying the breeze. 
“That isn’t the only thing I’d like to hit you in the face with” Gerard groveled quietly to himself. It was exhilarating to speak it out loud, even if no one else could hear him. 
“Sorry little guy, go back to bed,” he said.
Hellfest had been an intense three day fiasco. The crowd had been overwhelming, the lights and sounds felt like a blur. It was through all this chaos and turmoil that he had one thing keeping him planted firmly on the ground. As much as he didn’t want to admit it to himself, and certainly not to the others yet, Frank had become his rock. His punk. His own personal brand of crack. Frank may not have known it yet, but Gerard intended to find out if his feelings were more than his own.
He couldn’t help but hear Geoff’s lyrics in his head, “we’re betting on our own lives, making up for all the time we lost in this house of cards.” Feeling unsettled by the thought of the time he missed, the time he hadn’t spent with Frank. He was getting ahead of himself, this was all just a fantasy. He needed a distraction.
“That Thursday sure knows how to get the crowd going, don’t they?” he tried to break the silence.
“They really have some punk moves,” Mikey piped up, sensing things felt strange."
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romans-empire · 24 days ago
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Honestly, I could talk about Lucky Patch for hours. I didn't expect to like their dynamic when I played UTY for the first time, yet here we are.
To be honest, I did not like Flowey prior to Undertale Yellow. To me he was merely a side piece to the overall story of Undertale, I disregarded him and focused on the Dreemurr family which in hindsight does include him, just not in the way that I could comprehend back when I was younger. UTY really helped me in understanding his character and realized just why he was so compelling. Now he's one of my top favorite UTDR characters. I still hate this stupid flower though, I wish the worst for him /j /pos.
And Clover, I did not expect to attach myself to this child so much. Clover's personality is rather hard to get unless you were really looking in between the lines and other easily missed dialogue or in-game narration. Thankfully, I am the kind of player that remembers really small details, especially when it comes dialogue and narration. I do admit that I project to Clover a lot, my fics are a testament to that. However, I did enjoy them as a character and protagonist in their own right, removing all biases will not change that. They are one of my comfort characters and favorite characters of all time.
Combining the two, we get Lucky Patch. I do see why most people I've seen in the fandom might not like this dynamic, it's not for everyone especially if you aren't into peeling off layers upon layers of a character. Though, I am really happy that the Lucky Patch enjoyers are much more present here on Tumblr. If you don't look closely or take things at face value, Lucky Patch is a toxic dynamic built on lies and cruelty. Even when looking further, you cannot deny that aspect. But what makes them compelling is that this dynamic is mostly driven by the characters and their psychology. Especially Flowey's. If you do not understand the character, you will most likely miss the intricacies that make them, them.
Clover and Flowey's relationship span across all timelines and routes, so taking their relationship from one route only is not the way to go. That's the reasoning to the most common complaint I see when it comes to them, most non-Lucky Patch enjoyers only see their relationship from one angle or route. Most of the time, they take it from the vengeance route or neutral. My reply to that is that their relationship develops as the routes change. From vengeance, neutral, to pacifist, their dynamic changes in accordance but you can see why when you look closely at the context being given to us throughout their interactions in each route. At the end, you will understand why Flowey lets Clover go. Why he spew his little speech at the end of the true pacifist end.
In other words, I love these tragic doomed toxic codependent flowers so much and I will commit atrocities to defend them.
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uncanny-tranny · 1 year ago
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I'm still thinking about how ashamed I was (and am) with being open about my pain because I am so young. It's so hard to feel worthy of having your pain taken seriously when the people around you insist that young bodies are always in pristine, untouched condition and that you must earn your pain through aging. Never is it considered that young people aren't lying or being a hypochondriac for expressing their pain.
Young people can be in life-altering pain. Young people can have debilitating pain. It doesn't matter what age it happens because pain doesn't discriminate. Complaining about pain and doing things to prevent needless pain aren't something you have to "earn" through aging.
If you want young people to be in less or lesser pain, then encourage them to do whatever they can to minimize it. Don't downplay what they're experiencing. Not everything is a lie, not every experience that is different than yours is exaggeration or deceit.
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makotonaegiunderstander · 8 months ago
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something I’ve been thinking abt is how many people think Makoto is immune to despair. I don’t think he is. I think becoming the ultimate Hope was BECAUSE he felt despair. He wouldn’t have fully reached that point without Junko. Makoto becoming such a beacon was his last attempt to avoid completely falling and it wasn’t because he didn’t feel despair, it was because he was too damn stubborn to allow everything to go to waste and he refused to sacrifice his beliefs for someone else’s. His inner monologue tells me he DID experience the same new low the other suvivors did in the final trial, but at the point where he had the choice to give up and die, he looked at the others and he looked at Junko and he couldn’t allow it to happen, not out of self preservation, but because the idea that Junko would have control over their lives made him FURIOUS. and that utter refusal to die kicked in, wether luck or otherwise, and he made the concious effort for one last push while something in him was breaking. He had to be broken in order for the Ultimate Hope to come through so aggressively, bc it could only exist in the face of the Ultimate Despair. He snapped the same way she did, but in the other direction. In what could have been his final moments he chose to embody everything Junko wasn’t, and every single optimistic and luck fueled ideal in him suddenly charged forward and pushed him. It was a combination of the final straw and a choice. Makoto isn’t immune to feeling despair, he’s just too stubborn to fall into it of his own volition. I think that’s why I like that scene in DR3 so much. People were SO SHOCKED Makoto actually fell for the tape, that he actually became despair for a moment. I saw people getting mad or disappointed, saying it was pathetic and Makoto seemed to fall from some sort of pedestal for them. Honestly part of me wonders if that sort of mentality, which clearly people had in universe, affected Makoto a bit. Like he started to see himself as less of a person, subconsciously. Prompting him to take more risks, less self preservation, act way more bold. It seems he has to be reminded a lot not to put himself in danger by his friends, to not do something too reckless. All over the place I would see in regards to that scene either this frivolous ‘oh this was just angst drama with no meaning behind it’ or ‘he can do better than that. he’s so weak’ or ‘come on, there’s no way he’d fall into despair, he’s the Ultimate Hope!’ This kind of mentality, which was kind of ironic considering Ryota was there the entire time saying the same thing and treating Makoto the same way. Like Makoto was superhuman. Like Makoto didn’t feel despair the same way ‘normal people’ did. In a way that was also how Munakata saw Makoto. Makoto stopped being a PERSON to the world when he became Ultimate Hope, he became a concept, a belief system, much the same way Junko ascended beyond herself. But the difference is that treating Makoto that way is the opposite of the reason Makoto became such a representative for hope. He wasn’t doing something no one else could. He was doing something everyone had the chance to, he just… was a little more optimistic, a little more stubborn, a little more ‘gung-ho’ about things. He just took the lead where no one else did, where no one else knew they even COULD in the face of Junko’s unstoppable force. She had overcome the biggest threats and obstacles in the world, what could one person do? And the answer Makoto found was, anything. Everything. It doesn’t all rest on Makoto, he’s just the one that was inspired to try to do what seemed like the impossible. But as evidenced by the change in his friends after that trial, it’s clearly not something only Makoto is capable of. The others pulled out of despair thanks to Makoto, but it was their choice to do so.
“But… this world is so huge, and we’re so small. What can we do…? No, we can probably do anything. Yeah! We can do anything!”
#makoto naegi#Danganronpa character analysis#Danganronpa#danganronpa thh#danganronpa future arc#I fucking love Makoto Naegi man.#I think there’s a fine line of nuance to Makoto that’s easy to miss bc he doesn’t really make it known#he’s not a pushover and he’s not overpowered. he’s a people pleaser but he will say what needs to be said#he’s an immovable object and the exact opposite of Junko but he’s also just a normal guy who’s optimistic and (un)lucky#he isn’t invincible but he has immense power to his words the same way Junko did#if anything his superpower is being kind above all else. he’s compassionate to some of the worst people in the world.#he was even conpassionatr to an extent to Junko. he didnt want her to kill herself despite everything she’s done#and he still acknowledges that for years she was a classmate and friend.#I do think the more he learned abt what she did the more he’s come to actually hate her though#post the first game he always refers to her without a suffix to her name which is one of the most subtle rude things you can do#it means you have zero respect for the person you’re referring to#and he speaks about her with some venom he doesn’t use for anyone else in the future arc#he’s not incapable of feeling negative emotions#I really liked the future arc scene bc it showed that Makoto DID experience enough despair to have overcome him if he didn’t refuse#and that it still affects him deeply. people treat him like he’s either this perfect ideal Chad or this baby chick who’s so delicate#and no one really focuses on how makoto shoulders so much and yet is still vulnerable.#honestly that guy was DUE for a mental breakdown even without the tape. it would have happened eventually#I actually wrote one based on him finally hitting a breaking point after giving so much of himself away and keeping nothing for himself#that his issues that he shoves down constantly finally can’t be held down anymore. Hajime helps him bc he knows how that feels#it was a LONG time ago that I wrote that but honestly if I can remember where i was going w it I might finish it#it was initially an rp but I could make it a fic#anyway. the point is Makoto is SO much more complex than people give him credit for#the most fundamental thing about him is that he’s normal and that’s ok! that’s what helps him rise!
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deangril · 21 days ago
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Hello, Dean
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corrodedcoughin · 2 years ago
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Thinking about steddie future where they're both just average guys. No rockstars, no basketball players just two Normal men living a normal life because honestly? they deserve it. They deserve soft domesticity and happiness.
They both have jobs they like but don't love and they're happy with that. Eddie maybe becomes an electrician, working for someone else's company. His coworkers are chill, he gets to get out and work with his hands and that's more than he could have asked for. Steve is a physical therapist, or a manager in some business. He likes his team and the steady hours. He's not working for his dad which is a plus.
They buy a house together, that's not a mansion but it's not a trailer either. Steve does a lot of the dishes because Eddie hates it, hates the feeling of old food on the plates and cutlery. So Eddie will kiss Steve on the cheek and does the laundry because Steve fucking hates laundry. And sitting on the floor watching TV while he folds clothes is honestly sort of relaxing?? Love is doing the chores your partner hates.
Steve and Robin go out for brunch at least once a month, where they catch up and gossip for hours and hours and Steve comes home lighter with updates on Robin and Vickie. Eddie will have nightly phone calls with Wayne, where they talk and laugh and Eddie will eventually hand the phone over to Steve so he and Wayne can talk sports together. When he's in town Dustin will come over and stay in their spare room and they laugh and joke so much it's just like old times. They go over to Jeff's house for dinner on a semi regular basis, and it's nice having normal friends.
They adopt a very annoying cat who will climb all over them in bed and meow in their faces when they don't wake up to feed it breakfast in time. Steve will go for jogs on a Saturday morning, coming home to Eddie reading in bed. Some old western book Wayne recommended to him. There's a steaming cup of coffee waiting on their bedside tables that Eddie's prepared.
They take time off of work and go on a week long vacation because they can do that now. They do dorky touristy things and Eddie buys a mug to send to Wayne. Steve takes a lot of dorky photos of the two of them.
Idk they deserve to be normal and alive and happy with no upside down anymore <3
Oh I love this! I had actually been thinking about tradesman Eddie for a little bit I am so, so glad you’ve come up with this!
I can so completely see him learning a trade and just getting employed and put through his time by a small local employer! He has to go through his exams and that part of it worries him when he first gets the job but his team end up being really supportive and Steve stays up late with him, practicing circuits and wiring and quizzing him on currents and volts. Eddie returning the favour, letting Steve mark up his muscles and be a living anatomy dummy. Sure it gets a little sexy from time to time but more often than not it’s just them testing each other as Steve identifies bones and Eddie talks about parallel circuits.
The monthly brunches mentally and physically revive Steve after working extended hours with patients that he really does want the best for but a jobs a job and it can get pretty tiring. They joke that they rebalance each others chakras but they really do feel realigned after their meet ups. Eddie can see it to, sometimes he’ll come pick them up when it’s been a boozy brunch and delights in seeing them happy and light, clambering over each other to tell Eddie something about one of the waiters or an especially good dish they ordered. When he drops Robin home Steve sits in the front and looks at peace and Eddie feels the same way.
Their weekends are for them, sometimes that means staying home and cleaning the whole place between ordering food in and sometimes that means going on a day trip and taking Wayne around all the antique spots around the county and seeing what horrors they can uncover. Top spot currently sits with Wayne’s find of a doll whose limbs had been replaced with horse legs and had the head of a fish. Of course they bought it.
Every time they go on a holiday they make sure to send postcards to everyone, including themselves, seeing if they’ll get home before the postcard does. Steve keeps them in a photo album, each with a Polaroid of them next to it. Sometimes taken by a stranger, sometimes just a close up of their faces squashed together. It’s Eddie’s favourite thing to go through on their anniversary, or any day really, just loves being reminded that this is the life they get to have.
It’s mundane, dare say even normal, but they love it. Steve comes home every night, happy to put his scrubs in the washing machine next to Eddie’s uniform, happy to be where he feels loved.
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good-beanswrites · 2 days ago
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I've been thinking about alien stage and milgram so
All in (Hyuna and Till) but it's with Kotoko and Fuuta
OOHH I've been going crazy over this -- I've only touched on Milgram/Alien Stage aus a bit but now I'm hooked 👀 I was playing around for a while with how to incorporate the song specifically, and had a ton of fun with this lyric/scene experiment, haha! I was shocked at how well the song would suit them even in Milgram canon... I used gender neutral descriptions for the Mizi-character because I'm not sure who people would picture for that role, and wanted to leave it open. Also um. tw major character death :( sorry.
Your eyes grow wide at my dazzling entrance, and your heart beats fast, OK! There's no point fighting back – this is the march of the fools.
The rebel leader stands proudly on the stage. Her followers practically howl at her arrival. Their gathering spot may have been a secret, but they didn’t bother being quiet about their excitement. The tides are turning, and everyone feels it. It doesn’t matter what kind of front the aliens put up; everyone knows the fear that their leader strikes into her enemies. Every planet, moon, and ship knows what she’s capable of. They know that going up against her brass knuckles will only have one outcome for them. No matter the cost, Yuzuriha Kotoko will come out on top.
Endless cheer and applause – I hear the song grow louder and louder. Fill up the entire nebula!
The contestant brings his guitar down with all the force he can muster, sparks flying out and scorching his hands. The audience roars at the display. He’s tired of all those eyes watching him, but at least he’s making them all watch as he destroys some little piece of them. For now, they only find morbid curiosity in his fruitless rage, but someday he’ll sing loud enough, act loud enough, scream loud enough that the galaxy will be forced to hear him. To alien and human alike, the face of Kajiyama Fuuta is an icon of rebellion.
Just laugh, hey kick and break ya! To the galaxy shining bright, chi-cheers. Change the game with a single action. Trust me and I'll show you, chi-cheers.
Kotoko’s boot cracks bones on impact. It wasn’t even her steel leg that had rendered her enemy into this mess. The alleyway is too hidden and the neon city street too distracted for anyone to hear the alien’s final cries at her feet. Her team catches up with her, breathless with exertion and shock at the victim she leaves in her wake. As soon as she holds up what they came here to get, all doubt leaves them. Their ship will echo with celebration tonight.
We only get one life, so I'm living mine for me, cause I'm the one from your wildest dreams. I'll create a fantasy in this crazy world and change it all, I'm going all-in. 
“Ha-ha –!” Fuuta hasn’t heard himself laugh in a long time. It isn’t a pleasant sound, and neither is the chaos that follows as the fight escalates. But damn, did it feel good. The lights of the paparazzi blind him as he’s yanked out of a magnetic train car. The crowd deafens him. The aliens around him bruise and break him down. But he holds tight to the things deep in his mind. He imagines himself as a shining hero. He thinks of them – his own hero. He conjures up a world that’s better for both of them. It’s for this reason he wrenches his arm away from those holding him back. Though his collar buzzes with electricity, he takes another swing.
A universe brimming with dreams… Who will remain standing at the end of it all? Don't you wanna know? Caught within rules without rules, a bird is set free. I hear the song grow louder, fill up the entire nebula!
As the glass shatters around her, Kotoko can’t help but savor the moment suspended in the air. Given her many escapes over the years, she hadn’t been worried about making it out in one piece. And yet her heart races each time she tastes freedom again. She lands on her feet, pausing to make sure her newest recruit is keeping up. Kotoko flashes a wide, toothy smile at them, and they return it shakily. They seem a bit shaken by all the blood that had been spilled on the way, but Kotoko is proud of how quickly they’ve adapted to this liberated lifestyle. She’s riding the thrill of success, knowing she’s changed the outcome of Alien Stage once again. Another weak human saved from their captors. Another victory.
Just laugh, hey kick and break ya! To the galaxy shining bright, chi-cheers. Change the game with a single action. Trust me and I'll show you, chi-cheers.
Smoke chokes Fuuta’s lungs, but it doesn’t hold him back. The private dinner room is full of the rich and powerful as they eat, smoke, and laugh at humans’ expense. They place bets on the upcoming competition rounds. They harass Fuuta to perform for them, eyes of all shapes and colors boring into him. Through the haze and dim lights, the spark of resistance is burning as bright as always. He dares to talk back at a figure who is not used to being talked back to. Fuuta dodges a few strikes, even getting in a few kicks of his own before he’s overwhelmed with a blow to his right eye. 
We only get one life, so I'm living mine for me, cause I'm the one from your wildest dreams. I'll create a fantasy in this crazy world and change it all, I'm going all-in.
Kotoko tries to hide her snarl at the massive advertisement screens they pass. Even flying by at these speeds, she gets a clear look at the Alien Stage champion and his coy smile. It churns her stomach. She had always wondered why any contestant would willingly stand up there and sing, knowing it would get someone else killed. They were complicit in murder, if you asked her. But this man – his actions were far more than “complicit.” The face of a tiny girl flashes through her mind. For a moment, she’s lost in a vision of the girl by her side – still laughing, still carefree in the world that Kotoko is working towards. Reality returns to her. She discharges her weapon directly into an alien’s face.
Every obstacle in my way, I've crushed them all. Step all over me but I'll rise again. It's you who's in the wrong, bet you had no idea.
The lights go up, and Fuuta sways on his feet. He finds himself instantly winded as he starts to sing. The heat from the show’s pyrotechnics make him even dizzier. His good eye surveys the crowd. He would not let these villains win. They took the people he cared about. They took the people who cared about him. Hell, they even took his guitar. He knows that by the end, they’ll take his life, too. It’s all the more reason to continue. He sees now that his intensity had inspired others, even if it hadn’t saved them. Fuuta refuses to go down quietly. He refuses to stop singing. He opens his mouth:
“Hey!”
Kotoko shouts it after the new recruit, but their mind is made up. She’s left clutching at her injury and frantically typing on the huge machine, trying to complete their original mission. The screen streaming the event flashes with images of the redhead pouring his heart out onstage. Kotoko lets out a strangled sound of frustration and stands to follow.
Just laugh, hey kick and break ya! To the galaxy shining bright, chi-cheers. Change the game with a single action. Trust me and I'll show you, chi-cheers. Whatever comes to mind, give it a chance. Contemplate all you want, won't change a thing. 
Blood pools around the losing contestant. All that shouting and he can’t even choke out a goodbye, now. The intruder stands in the one place she spent her life fighting tooth and nail to escape forever. They lock eyes. They’d only heard accounts of the other, but in that brief moment, they understand. They are just two humans, two loud humans, who had a vision of how bright the universe could be someday. Despite it all, they both ended up here, doomed to die on this stage after singing out to an uncaring audience. Fuuta’s gaze slips away. He offers one last smile to his hero. For the first and last time, he is content.  Kotoko turns her attention away from them, to the audience. She clenches her fists and feels very far from content.
Don’t you dare stop now –
Justice assemble! Till the end –
Ride the waves of passing time, and run with the wind 'til morning, don't stop.
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unforth · 1 year ago
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I. Hurt.
And I was hurting anyway, I'm pretty down this morning, but this hurt came from an outside source, and affected me in a way I'd honestly not have expected.
See, we bought Nimona last week. After seeing the movie, my kids wanted to read it. And I ended up reading ahead, and I just finished it.
Bonus content at the end, it said, and I was like, oh, an epilogue to the epilogue maybe? That'd be nice. I don't love bittersweet endings, I'd rather...
...no, it's not the conclusion.
It's CHRISTMAS.
In a book that'd had no religion that I noticed up to that point, BOTH bonus extras...were Christmas.
Ya know, usually it doesn't bother me. Usually I just suck it up. I think it helps that I was raised around mostly Jews and people who, if Christian, it didn't matter much to them. I'm from the Upper West Side of Manhattan, the descendent of Lower East Side immigrants, and while the world outside was brutal - my grandfather was a World War 2 veteran and among the soldiers who liberated Dachau, I can't remember a time when I didn't know that most people would look the other way if people like me were slaughtered wholesale - my bubble was safe, we were accepted, we were insiders.
I honestly can't think of another time I've interacted with a piece of media and felt so immediately, instantly knocked across the face by OUTSIDER as I just did when I excitedly turned the page to see what these fun extra bonuses were...and it was fucking Christmas.
I didn't even read them.
I'm honestly. So disappointed.
I don't have a thick armor for this kind of hurt. I'm Jewish, and as an adult living outside my old UWS bubble, that's often meant I've felt like an outlier, but I've hardly ever had this feeling where I was welcome to something only to be suddenly, violently shoved out the door.
And I've heard nothing, n.o.t.h.i.n.g. but praise for this book. And on another day, it might not have bothered me. I've never really felt like I had to fight to be seen, especially since I'm tremendously secular. I mean, I've celebrated Christmas my entire life, for starters.
But why. Why was this fantasy setting suddenly Christian? Why was this the touted extra content? Why is THIS special, when the areligious world established to that point was apparently not special enough?
I can't say yet if this ruined the story for me. It's far too soon. But I'm *intensely*, viscerally let down, and...I hurt.
Christians...maybe stop doing this shit.
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luck-of-the-drawings · 10 months ago
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AND AS IT TURNED OUT, THE THINGS THAT WERE ALONGSIDE ME FROM THE START, REMAINED THERE FOR ME ALONG THE WAY. [inspired by my stuffed rabbit, violet. also inspired by the sunrise of a new day. and inspired by this crazy cool album art]
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askthefivefallen · 4 months ago
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So, never done an ask before so I hope this is okay.
Can I just say how much I enjoy the interactions between you and ask-emily? It it's so cool to me how you and another person are writing together. And the stories are wonderful! Not just the Ass/Emily saga, but all of them. I thoroughly enjoy the 5 fallen and the world you've built. I found you and your stories through fanart, and I'm not disappointed. It's wonderful! I find myself checking both your blogs and Ao3 daily when I can. Thank you for writing and sharing your stories!
Anywho, I hope you have a good night! I hope gushing over how much I enjoy your stories is okay for an ask.
((Hey, I'm super flattered! I'm glad you like it all and @ask-emily-em-emmy has been awesome to RP with! All the folks who've shown support and interacted with the Fallen really took me by surprise but I'm having a blast and I'm glad others are enjoying themselves, too! I started this blog to flesh out some of the background shenanigans happening in the BBL that wouldn't fit in the main series (which I'm still writing, lol, there's more to come I promise) and have really enjoyed how they've grown in such a short time. I figured I'd answer this out of character but feel free to send more asks; these knuckleheads will be around to answer 'em!
Again, thank you so much for showing your support. I'm forever happy that I can entertain others with my shenanigans.))
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hatred-n-hav0c · 23 days ago
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Okay so...
This isn't usually what I do but I kinda need to get things off my chest.
So...Rant/Vent..
I kinda...haven't had too much fun drawing Blotwald lately.
Don't get me wrong, I still love the character, and I'm in no way giving up on him, I wouldn't do that to you guys.
I just..I haven't been feeling like myself lately, I've been really busy and working a lot and..I have to admit, it's felt like I've been trying to force myself to draw Blotwald stuff, and it's really difficult to come up with ideas because I'm not as good as any of you guys in your ability to draw.
That's why I mostly do Blotwald with these other aus.
Because I'm pathetic, and I can't think of anything to draw with him because of that, hell, sometimes I don't even know how to draw him with those aus to begin with.
I guess it's just that..without Blotwald, I still would've just...been another small account, barely able to get anything off the ground.
I'm scared that if I stopped drawing Blotwald content, you'd all get bored and just..move on.
I want to stop drawing for a minute, I really do..but I feel like nobody's going to care about me if I do.
I'm sorry, I shouldn't be whining like this on my account, I just needed to vent.
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flygonscales · 27 days ago
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Urgh I’m getting so sick of the other people on my uni course. For context this is a largely vocational course with a very small class size at a small land based college/university. All they do is complain! It’s driving me crazy! I understand I come from a privileged position in education so I may have more knowledge/understanding (grammar school) but they just keep whining about our assignments! I’m finding them hard too, but I get so many messages in the course WhatsApp about referencing, scientific sources and academic writing! This is why you come to university! To learn! I am doing this course not only to develop practical skills but to learn how to write! YOU NEED TO REFERENCE SCIENTIFIC SOURCES TO BACK UP YOUR DATA OR INFORMATION IN A PIECE OF WORK. IF THE WORK IS ALL YOUR OWN WRITING THEN IT WON’T STAND UP TO ACADEMIC SCRUTINY. YOU DON’T NEED TO BE AMAZING AT THIS RIGHT NOW BUT PLEASE, PLEASE JUST BE OPEN TO THE CONCEPT OF LEARNING! WE’RE NOT JUST DOING ANIMAL CARE THIS COURSE IS UNIVERSITY LEVEL - WE ARE LEARNING HOW TO WORK TO THAT STANDARD.
I don’t want to say anything to them because they could turn right round and tell me that nowt everyone did A-levels and I realise everyone has different abilities but it’s so negative. I feel like most of the people on the course would have been much happier just stopping at college or entering the workforce. Again, I know I’ve had the privilege of doing some form of academic writing at sixth form so I knew what to expect (unlike these people) but it’s just getting me down and I’m sick of hearing this stuff. I’d honestly be a bit happier if the loudest voices in this issue would just drop out so I can get on and do my fun animal themed uni course
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carrionsflower · 6 months ago
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doctorbrown · 6 months ago
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Doc will be your biggest supporter this pride month because he doesn't care what y'all are doing or who you're doing so long as you're both into it and it makes you happy
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medicinemane · 5 months ago
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Should make a pain killer that actually kills (or even touches) pain
#not that I have access to ultra hardcore stuff#but even when I had... pretty sure it was vicodine for my wisdom teeth; it didn't do a thing for me#cbd based stuff seems like it maybe helps; certainly does more than nsaids which do nothing for pain (great for inflammation though)#but I just... I'd really like something that actually makes my muscles and joints feel like... good; unpain#I'm sure it would be classified as addictive whatever it was but like... fuck man... I just want to not hurt#I can't tell if I have chronic pain cause... I kinda forget to pay attention when I'm hurting a lot of the time#I'll just... kinda realize I've been hurting bad all day and just not really focusing on it#and I also don't know how often it happens; if it's once a day or once a month or what; not great at noting that stuff down#but man... I don't even like most meds; so many meds either do nothing for me or make me feel like shit#like... benedril? however you spell it; someone gave me some once said it would help me sleep... help me be awake feeling like ass more lik#but like... love to see if muscle relaxants actually like... relaxed my muscles; but you get it; you get why I'll never be able to try it#though honestly I think therapeutic massage might help me a lot#but my doc says that really only gets authorized by physical therapy and... well for me physical therapy is useless#cause I forget to do the exercise; like it's me failing a physical therapy; not a probably with physical therapy#if I ever think I can keep up with it I'd love to try physical therapy for my back again; but I don't want to waste all my chances at it#not when... I descriptively didn't do it when I was in it before; I'd never remember to do any of the exercises#anyway; bonus story from when I was in urgent care when the infection came back (that's still never been solved)#I tell the doc 'last time it tore open a drainage hole it was the worst pain I've ever felt'... cause it was#I said 'I'll need something a bit stronger than an nsaid cause the nsaid did nothing but cut inflammation last time'#she's like 'don't worry; I got you'... wanna guess what she gave me? a newer nsaid#it didn't do shit; I was just lucky and it wasn't as painful... maybe the old drainage hole tore open easier this time#but I didn't even take the nsaid she prescribed; so I'm gonna say it wasn't that med helping#like I get it; you don't want to give opioids... and would it shock you to know that wasn't what I was looking for either#there's gotta be something between nsaid and fentynol man#...well... maybe the cdb has almost got my muscles... hurting less at least; only taken all this time I've been writing#they still hurt for sure... I don't know... get tired; you know?#mm tag so i can find things later
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rurinnfane · 2 months ago
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I learned tonight that my friend group (that my fiancé adopted me into) was secretly very concerned about me the first time I was gone for a weekend to travel and see this new doctor, like they thought I might have been going to the Mayo Clinic or some shit. Really I’m just going to the guy that a family member with similar health issues highly recommended.
I just think that’s cute lmao
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