#i just feel bad because the previous post might be a bit too much for some people (?)

[blackkatdraws2]

Voice of Fate. [Achromatic Loop AU]

[andvys]

the edges of your soul (i haven’t seen yet) ⭐︎ chapter nine

⭐︎ Pull the trigger on the gun I gave you when we met

warnings: fluff, post apocalypse au, alcohol consumption, drinking game, mentions of sex, mentions of masturbation, mention of virginity, hurt/no comfort (i guess?), angst, sunshine x grumpy, jealousy jealousy jealousy

pairing: steve harrington x fem!reader

summary: during a game of never have i ever you find out things you weren’t prepared for

word count: 9k+

authors note: i wrote this part in two days, that’s how excited i was to write it hehe. shoutout to @hellfire--cult as always 🤍 we came up with this chapter months ago and now it’s finally here! roe added the last bit aka THE PAINFUL ONE! I am so excited for the upcoming chapters hehe

series masterlist ⭐︎ previous chapter

☀︎

The air is crisp. The wind is cold and harsher now than it was a few weeks ago. The first snow started falling about a week ago, making the journey a lot harder and slower, which isn’t in your favor at all. You want to go home sooner rather than later. You have already lost so much time, when you were alone and even now too. Your sickness slowed you down, slowed them down. 

You are much better now. The fever had gone down five days into your antibiotic treatment. Your cough is still there, not as strongly as it was before but it’s there. On top of that, you don’t perform as well as you used to before the sickness. You get tired quickly, your muscles get sore and you struggle to breathe. 

Nancy told you that it’s normal, that it might take a longer while for you to recover fully. Her brother Mike suffered for nearly two months after falling sick with pneumonia, carrying an inhaler with him at all times, just like you do too, now. 

It frustrates you a little, because now they all watch you like hawks to make sure that you are not moving around too much. You are not allowed to go on runs or scavenge areas, at least not until you’re healthy again. Steve is scavenging with Eddie now mostly, but today Nancy joined him instead, leaving you and Eddie to stand guard on the snowy parking lot. 

You don’t mind. You like spending time alone with Eddie, but you want to do something. Not being able to help is driving you crazy. 

You play with the hair tie around your wrist, the one that Steve left on you, the one you haven’t taken off yet because he told you to keep it when you tried to give it back. You didn’t question where he got it or whose it was. You have a hunch. 

“Fucking Nebraska.” Eddie murmurs as he leans against the side of the RV, looking up into the grey sky. 

“What’s wrong with Nebraska?” You ask, chuckling. 

Eddie shrugs at you, raising his axe, and he points all around at the snow. “That.” 

“Nebraska isn’t the only state that’s covered in snow right now, Eddie.” You smile in amusement. You rub your glove covered hands together as you turn your body towards him. 

He narrows his eyes at you, sighing loudly. 

“Yeah well, we should have been in uh… Wyoming, Idaho or freaking Utah by now but instead we’re stuck in this godforsaken state. I swear it’s only gonna bring us bad luck.” 

You furrow your eyebrows and giggle at him, shaking your head. 

“This state is really on your most hated list, huh?” 

Eddie scoffs as he turns to face you. His cheeks are red, his nose is too. His bottom lip is trembling from the cold. A few snowflakes adorn his curls. 

“Yup.” 

“Well… if it makes you feel any better… It took me a year to get to Indiana from New York,” you admit, shrugging. “Something always gets in the way. Just like now, if it isn’t the blocked roads then it’s the time we use for scavenging. If it isn’t that, then it’s the time we spend looking for gas… and if it isn’t that then… It's a sickness.” You sigh, looking down at your feet as you kick the snow on the ground. 

Eddie’s eyes soften. Sympathy flashes in them. You felt guilty for falling sick, for slowing them down, for being a ‘burden’ as you had called yourself. He felt a little angry for the way you talked about yourself, for the way you thought you had to apologize for not feeling well.  

A soft huff falls from his lips as he bumps his shoulder into yours. He reaches for your hand and gives it a tight squeeze. 

“Sweetheart, if you mention that one more time… I swear to Ozzy I will eat all your Kitkat’s.” 

Your dimples show when your lips curl into a smile. You shake your head at him, looking back into his eyes with a mean look on your face. You raise your hand up and point your finger at him. 

“Not my Kitkat’s.” You threaten, making him chuckle. 

Eddie grins at you. 

“Stop feeling guilty and I won’t steal your candy, Sweets. It’s simple.” He shrugs. 

You roll your eyes at him and he gasps at that, looking at you offended. He throws his hand to his chest and leans back. 

“Did you just roll your eyes at me, Sunshine?” He asks shocked, using the nickname Steve calls you by. 

You shake your head at his act, giggling at his dramatics. You lean down and sink your hand into the snow, scooping some up into your hand. You move back up, smirking evilly at him before you throw it at his face. 

“You’re such a dork, Eddie Munson.” 

Another louder gasp falls from his lips when the coldness hits his skin and he stares at you bewildered. He brings his hand up to his face and wipes away the snow that is now stuck to his skin. 

You are slowly backing away, eyes glinting with amusement as you giggle loudly. 

“You did not just…” He glares at you, taking a step towards you. “You little witch.”

Your eyes widen when he leans down and scoops some snow onto his palm before he charges at you. A squeal falls from your lips as you turn around quickly, trying to run from him. 

“Oh, now you’re trying to run?” Eddie chuckles loudly behind you. “Don’t you wanna finish this little snowball fight?” 

“Nope!” You giggle loudly, hoping that Steve won’t come out of the store and catch you and Eddie running around like little kids. 

“Come here!” 

“Nuh uh!” 

You make the mistake of looking back at him, not controlling your steps like you should. Your foot catches onto ice under a layer of snow and you suddenly lose your balance, slipping on the ice with both feet. You try to steady yourself but to no avail, you are falling. Though you don’t feel the rough concrete underneath you like you were expecting. Instead you fall on something soft… well, softer than the concrete would have felt. 

“Oof…”

Only when you’re on the ground and you feel the arms around your waist and your head protected against a chest, do you realize that you didn’t fall on the ground because Eddie caught you and you landed on top of him instead while he took the fall for you both. 

“Ow…” He murmurs underneath you, grunting at the pain in his back. 

“Oh my god,” you mumble as the shock wears off and you quickly turn around to face him, not getting up just yet. Your eyes are wide and your face is serious, at least until you look at him and all the snow in his hair. 

You stare at each other in silence, breathing heavily. His lip twitches first and then yours follows suit. His eyes flash with amusement and before you know it, you both burst into laughter.

Tension falls off your shoulders. Tension you didn’t realize you even had. But this feels good, you can’t remember the last time you laughed. Especially like this, to the point of tears. 

“Goddamn, you’re a klutz,” Eddie laughs as he leans his head back into the snow, not caring anymore at this point. 

You shake your head, unable to stop the laughter that keeps falling from your lips. 

Eddie lets go of your waist and brings his hand up to your back, patting it softly. 

“Are you okay?” 

You bring your hand up to your face, wiping away the stray tear that escaped from your eyes. You nod at his question. 

“I had a safe fall,” you giggle before it gets cut off by a cough.

Eddie continues to pat your back. He presses his palm against the snowy ground and pushes himself up into a seating position, grunting a bit. You turn away from him and cough into your elbow, clenching your eyes shut. 

“Shit, Sweets.” He mumbles. “Do you need your inhaler?” 

You shake your head at him. Once you calm down, you press your hand against your chest and turn back to face him. Your eyes are a little glassy from all the coughing. 

Eddie’s eyes soften, he gives you a tight lipped smile as he pats your back one last time. 

“No laughing for you anymore, young lady.” He gives you a pointed look. 

You snort and roll your eyes. 

“Hey guys, we–” Steve halts in his tracks suddenly when he finds you on the ground with Eddie. His face falls and his eyes flash with confusion when he takes in the position you’re in – Eddie is sitting up on the ground while you are on top of him, in his lap. By the look on Eddie’s state, he knows you both must have slipped and fallen but how did you get to that point in the first place? And why is Eddie’s arm around your waist? 

He clenches his jaw without realizing it. The sourness inside of him spreads quickly, burning in his chest and taking over his whole body. He clenches his fists around the basket he is holding, gripping it so tightly that his knuckles turn white. He stares at Eddie’s hand and how he places it on your hip. Eyes burning with anger. 

Steve doesn’t like this and he doesn’t even realize why. 

Your head snaps towards Steve and you frown at the look on his face. Before you even begin to question it, your eyes fall on the basket he is holding and curiosity gets the best of you. You carefully get off Eddie and place your feet back on the ground, accepting his hand that he offers to you. 

Steve’s eyebrows knit together strongly and the fire in him spreads further and up to his face, causing his cheeks to redden. 

You don’t notice but Eddie does, especially when he catches Steve watching how you help him up. How you remove the snow from his jacket and his cheek, making sure that he is clean again before you make your way towards him. 

Eddie raises his eyebrows in surprise, seeing the glare that is directed at him, the murderous gaze. If looks could kill, he would drop dead by now. If he didn’t consider Steve to be one of his best friends, he would have feared him right now. But Eddie only feels smugness and amusement. 

If jealousy had a name, it would be Steve Harrington. 

Eddie’s lip curls into a smirk, and he snickers under his breath. 

“This is too good,” he murmurs under his breath. He is gonna tease him. Oh yeah. He is gonna enjoy this one. 

“What’d you find?” You ask cheerfully as you make your way towards him, smiling brightly already. 

Steve looks away from Eddie and down at you. His eyes instantly soften when they meet yours. The sourness remains in his chest but something else spreads even quicker… warmth. 

You grab the edge of the basket with both hands and peek inside. Your smile falls and your eyes widen. A gasp of excitement falls from your lips when you catch sight of the knitted scarf. 

You look up at him, mustering up your best puppy eyes. 

“Can I have that one?” You plead. 

Steve’s heart skips a beat at the look on your face. Those eyes. He feels his knees falling weak every time you look at him like this. 

He swallows the growing lump in his throat and he nods. 

He almost wants to laugh at your question though. He spent fifteen minutes picking out a scarf for you. He didn’t want just any one. He grabbed the pink one at first before he caught sight of this one. He was unaware of Nancy’s smug face. 

“I picked it out for you.” He mumbles, lip curling upwards when your wide eyes meet his again. 

“You did!?” You nearly squeal as you grab it from the basket, jumping on your feet slightly as you wrap it around yourself. 

Steve’s eyes sparkle as he takes in the pure happiness on your features, all because of a pastel yellow colored scarf. 

“How’d you know this was my favorite color?” You ask, feeling the fluttering of your heart so strongly at this moment, especially when you look into his hazel eyes. 

Steve feels caught and he sinks into himself a little. Heat creeps up to his cheeks and he grows flustered… embarrassed. He clears his throat, shifting from one foot to another. 

He clears his throat, wanting to punch Eddie now more than ever as he catches sight of the smug bastard in the back. 

“I honestly didn’t know… I– I just… remembered you said you had a sunflower field behind your house, so I thought…” he trails off and looks back down into your eyes. They are sparkling for him. Your smile is wider than it was in weeks. You’re happy. “Good to know, though…”

Your heart skips a beat, and your stomach flutters wildly. He remembered your sunflower field? You told him that in the very beginning, when he didn’t even talk back much, when you just rambled his ear off. You didn’t even think he listened to you, let alone remember what you talked about to him. 

“Thank you so much, Stevie!” You smile widely as you take a step closer to him. You rise to your tippy toes and grab onto his shoulder as you press your lips to his cheek, pecking it softly. 

Steve freezes. He tenses up. Not because he didn’t like it but because he did. He liked it. He liked the feeling of your lips on his skin. A little too much. 

You pull away and brush past him when you notice Nancy coming out of the store, carrying two bags. You leave him standing with glowing cheeks. 

The need to escape takes over and despite feeling like his feet are glued to the ground, he forces himself to make his way towards the RV, ignoring the racing in his chest. 

He walks past Eddie but not without sending a glare towards him. He reaches into the basket, and picks out the grey beanie, throwing it at the metalhead without a single word. 

Eddie catches it before it hits him in the face. A loud snicker falls from his mouth when he realizes why Steve is so salty and why his cheeks are like the color of a ripe tomato. He follows him. Of course he does. Eddie sees the perfect opportunity. 

“Thanks for that, man.” Eddie holds up the beanie. 

“Yeah, you’re welcome.” Steve grumbles under his breath. He throws the door open to the RV and steps inside. Dropping the basket on the table, he starts taking out the cans of food he found and starts stacking them up in the cabinets. 

Eddie leans against the wall and crosses his arms over his chest. 

“What were you two doing out there?” Steve asks after two minutes of silence. 

“Had a little snowball fight.” That is an exaggeration, and he knows it, but he wants to see Steve’s reaction. “And then we fell.” 

Eddie can’t see his face. Steve’s back is turned to him as he fills up the cabinets. Though he can see how he tenses up and falters a little. 

“Right…” Steve scoffs. “She fell on your lap?” 

There it is. Eddie is surprised; that was quick. 

He doesn’t bother hiding his snickering. He pushes himself off the wall and moves up beside him, tilting his head at the former jock. He smiles smugly when he sees the clenched jaw. 

“Is that jealousy, Big Boy?” 

Steve narrows his eyes at him. He grips the edges of the counter and slowly turns to face him. 

“I’m just…–”

“You’re just what, Steve? Jealous?” Eddie cackles, enjoying this far more than he should. He raises his hand up and places it on Steve’s chest, patting it roughly. “Don’t worry, man. She is all yours, I promise.” 

Steve huffs and he shakes his head, opening his mouth to speak. 

“Yellow is her favorite color huh? I didn’t know that. You didn’t either, she didn’t even tell you–”

“Stop.” Steve sighs. He brings his hand up to his face and pinches the bridge of his nose. The tension in his shoulders rises when he realizes the weight of Eddie’s words. Deep down he knows he is right, he knows it. He doesn’t want to acknowledge it. He doesn’t want to think about it. He doesn’t want to admit it. He fears it. He can’t have those feelings. He can’t allow himself to care more than he does right now. He knows where this will end – how it almost ended a few weeks ago. If he allows these feelings, if he lets them out only for something to happen… he will never recover. 

The smug look on Eddie’s face falls when he realizes the seriousness of this situation as he reads the look on his face. 

Steve is holding back. He is holding back out of fear, not realizing that this could potentially make everything so much worse. 

“Steve…” Eddie sighs as his hand moves to grip his shoulder. “I know what you’re trying to do here–”

“Don’t.” Steve warns him. Like he doesn’t want to hear it, like he doesn’t want to even consider his words. “Just don’t, Munson.” 

He couldn’t even finish the sentence. He couldn’t even utter a single word and it frustrated him a little but he also understands it. 

“Fine…” Eddie sighs, and he lets his hand fall back to his side. 

Steve takes a deep breath. He runs his fingers through the mess of his head. His hair got so long in the past few months. The past self of him would be mortified at the sight of him now. 

Steve glances at Eddie. He can’t stand the sympathetic look in his dark eyes. He doesn’t want to be pitied. 

“You know what you need–”

Steve rolls his eyes and he pulls back, crossing his arms over his chest. 

“I said don’t–”

“Hear me out, will you?” Eddie mumbles in annoyance. He rolls his eyes back at him and turns around, opening the cabinet where you have put all the special things. He reaches for the bottle. A grin spreads on his face before he turns around. He holds it up with a wiggle of his brows. 

Steve shakes his head, “nope.”

“Oh yeah.” Eddie nods and by the look of his determined face, Steve knows he will lose this argument. “You gotta let loose a little. Swallow those feelings down with a little help of my former best friend.” Eddie grins at the whiskey bottle. 

Steve sighs. 

“We’ll play a little drinking game… and who knows, maybe we’ll find out some dirty truths from your girl's past.” Eddie cackles. 

“She’s not my–”

The door bursts open and you come rushing in, carrying one of the bags you grabbed off Nancy’s shoulder. You halt in your tracks and look between them. The frustrated gaze in Steve’s eyes and the excited one in Eddie’s tells you everything you need to know. 

Nancy comes stumbling in behind you. 

Eddie turns towards you, smirking at the two of you as he holds up the whiskey bottle. 

“Wanna play a game?” 

-

The fire keeps you brittle warm, allowing your cheeks to burn a little. The cold doesn’t even touch you right now, you’re so close to the heat. The bowl of soup is warm in your hands. You keep glancing towards Steve as you watch him eat. 

Eddie is rambling his ear off about DnD, something Steve couldn’t care less about. He keeps humming and grumbling in response. 

Nancy had already finished her dinner. She is rubbing her hands over the fire, warming herself up. 

You found a little hidden spot, behind trees and ruins, allowing you to let the flames burn higher than usual. Allowing you to feel a little more comfortable. You did a perimeter check with Steve before dinner, and he demanded to do it slowly for you, and this area seemed pretty safe and clean. 

“So… how about some good ‘ol never have I ever?” Eddie smirks as he picks up the bottle of whiskey he carried outside before. 

Your eyes light up. The urge to let loose, even if just for one night, for a few hours is so big. You nod at him, putting your now empty bowl on the ground beside your feet. 

“Yes, please!” 

Nancy chuckles at the enthusiastic smile on your face. Eddie’s eyes lock with hers and she shrugs at him, mumbling “sure.” 

Eddie grins at her, knowing she wouldn’t have given in so easily in the past. She sure has changed. 

He looks at Steve last to find him staring at you. Eddie knows that he is curious, it’s in his eyes. 

“I’m not drinking—“

“Oh come on!” Eddie groans, throwing his head back.

“If I am willing to drink then you gotta do it too, Steve!” Nancy says, shrugging at him. 

“Someone’s gotta stay sober.”

“Not like we’re gonna get blackout drunk, man. Besides the area is safe—“

Steve sighs, shaking his head. “You can never know.”

“Steve…” You sigh, pulling the attention on you. You tilt your head to the side, pouting at him. “Please…”

Steve huffs softly. 

Your features, your skin, your hair look so soft in this light. The golden flames make you look even more beautiful. Something flutters in his chest when you bat your eyelashes at him. 

He breathes in shakily, and by the way Eddie snickered beside him, he knows he heard it. 

Steve clears his throat as he shakes his head. 

“You’re not drinking either, Sunshine. You’re still coming down from your sickness and you’re still on pain meds.” He says sternly. 

Now your frown and your pout deepens. Your stomach sinks a little and the excitement wears off instantly. 

“Oh… right.” You whisper. 

Steve watches the way your face falls and your shoulders slump. A saddening look flashes in your features. He is surprised to see you giving up so easily, he expected you to put up a bit of a fight. 

“Shit,” Eddie murmurs. He didn't think about it either. 

You sigh deeply. You look between all of them and straighten your back again. 

“You can still play!” 

Steve can’t help but feel a twinge of guilt bubbling up inside of him. He saw how excited you were when Eddie suggested the game. 

“Hold on,” Steve mumbles as he pushes himself up from his seat. He disappears into the RV, making you all frown in confusion. You hear some rustling, some cans moving around before he comes out again, holding a can of Dr. Pepper in his hand. He makes his way to you, lips curling into a small smile. He holds it out for you. “I know it’s not the same but… you– we can still play.” 

You stare at the red soda can in his hand. Your soft eyes light up as you look up at him. 

His throat bobs when he swallows nervously. His heart skips yet another beat as he looks down into your eyes. 

Steve couldn’t care less about the game. If it wasn’t for you, he would call it a day and go to sleep. 

“Yeah,” he whispers softly. 

You are both unaware of the eye contact Nancy and Eddie are holding. To the looks on their faces and of the mischief crossing Eddie’s face as he grabs the plastic cups he had already prepared before. He unscrews the lid and pours the whiskey. 

“Thank you,” you whisper as you take the soda from Steve’s hands. Blush rises to your cheeks and your hand warms even more when your fingers brush against his own. 

Steve only smiles at you before he makes his way back to his seat. He curls his fingers into his hand, clenching it tightly as he still feels the mark of your touch. A sigh leaves his mouth when he sinks back into his camping chair. 

Eddie holds the cup out to him, and Steve only accepts it reluctantly. 

“Don’t think too much,” Eddie says to him. “It’s gonna be good for you, trust me.” 

“If you say so.” Steve snorts as he accepts the cup. He can’t remember the last time he even smelled alcohol. 

A pop sounds through the circle as you open the can. You bring your knees up to your chest and tug the blanket tighter around you, getting comfortable as giddiness rushes through your body. This reminds you of high school… only this is even better. You’re around friends. 

Eddie puts the bottle back down after handing Nancy her cup. He leans back and looks around the circle, smirking at Steve – the latter already knowing that this means nothing good. 

“So…” Eddie starts, wiggling his eyebrows. “Who’s starting?”

Steve sinks deeper into his seat, he looks down at his drink, sloshing it around in the cup. 

“Never have I ever played DnD.” Nancy says, making both you and Steve chuckle. 

Eddie raises his eyebrows at her, tilting his head as he brings the cup up to his lips. 

“You’re doing me a favor here, Wheeler.” 

Before he can even down the drink like he had planned to do, Steve leans forward and grabs Eddie’s wrist, “hold on. You ain’t downing that drink. We’re not in high school going home safe after. Doesn’t matter how safe this area seems to you, we’re still in the middle of nowhere… during the goddamn end of the world. We’re taking sips, not shots.” 

Steve’s face is stern as he lectures Eddie, who looks like a kid getting scolded by his father. 

You can’t help but giggle. 

“Okay, dad.” Eddie mumbles with wide eyes. “Sips, not shots, got it.” 

Nancy laughs at their interaction. 

Eddie takes a sip, keeping his eyes on Steve, who watches him closely, warning him with his eyes. 

“See.” Eddie shows him the cup. “I just took a sip.” 

“Good.” Steve grumbles before he leans back into his seat. 

Eddie turns back to Nancy, grinning evilly. “Alright Wheeler. Never have I ever… gotten straight A’s in high school.” 

A groan falls from her lips, she rolls her eyes at his lame attempt at making her drink. She brings the cup up to her lips and takes a sip. 

Steve glances at you, expecting you to take a sip as well but you don’t. Your can remains propped up on your knees. 

“No A’s?” Eddie raises his brows at you. “I’m surprised.” 

You shrug. “The best I got were B’s.” 

“Something I could only ever dream of.”

Nancy rolls her eyes at him again, “you were just lazy, Eddie.” 

“Are you saying I’m smart, Nancy Wheeler?” He smirks at her. 

“I’m saying you could have been better, dumbass.” 

Eddie waves her off and looks between you and Steve, “who’s next?”

Steve shrugs and gestures to you, holding his cup. 

You blush a little when he flashes you a smile. You tug your blanket tighter to you and look back into the fire. 

“Um… never have I ever…” You pause, trying to think of something you have always wanted to do. “Gone on a picnic date…?”

Eddie sits still, not bringing the cup up to his lips. Steve is not drinking either. The three of you glance at each other before you all look towards Nancy, who is the only one to take a sip of the whiskey. She scrunches up her face at the bitter taste. 

A sullen look takes over her face and if you didn’t look close enough, you would have missed the way her eyes flashed with sadness before she took that sip. She breathes in sharply and clears her throat before she plasters a smile onto her face as she looks back to you. 

“You have never gone on a picnic date?” 

Steve glances at you too with curious eyes. 

You shake your head. You always wanted to go but no one ever asked you out. Your ex-boyfriend always told you that he wasn’t a fan of date nights – must have been because he was too busy taking other girls out. 

Steve’s chest pains a little at the saddened look on your face. 

“No, but anyways… It’s your turn, Steve!” 

Steve blinks as he stares at you, your eyes now gazing into his. His cheeks flush under the weight of your eyes. He shifts on his chair. 

“Uh…” He can’t focus when you look at him, especially with that little tilt in your head and the innocent eyes. He looks down, at the crackling wood and the golden flames. His heart skipping a little harder. This is ridiculous. “Never have I ever uh…” 

What stupid thing would Robin say? 

What silly line would escape her mouth? 

“Been arrested…?”

Eddie chuckles loudly beside him. “See for someone who doesn’t want me to get drunk, you sure are doing a bad job, Harrington.” He laughs before he takes a big sip of his whiskey. 

You gasp and lean forward, “how, when, where, why?” You ramble. 

Steve’s shoulders shake when laughter escapes him at the look on your face. The wide eyes and the dropped jaw. 

“Oh, Sweetheart…” Eddie trails off. “I got arrested several times.”

“For what!?” 

“For being an idiot!” Nancy chuckles. She witnessed it herself once, Hopper running after a handcuffed Eddie who somehow managed to escape before he was forced into the cop car. 

“Then Jonathan must’ve been an idiot too!” Eddie scoffs. “Didn’t you get arrested with him!?” 

She shakes her head at him, “nope. I just went to the station with him.” 

You don’t notice the way Steve looks away, awkwardly and tense at the current conversation. 

“Why are you all getting arrested!?” You ask, confused. 

Nancy shrugs at you. 

You glance at Steve and raise your eyebrows at him, “did you get arrested too?” 

He purses his lips and shakes his head, “nope. Always managed to get away before the cops were at the crime scene.” He jokes. 

You roll your eyes at him but chuckle softly. 

“So I’m friends with a bunch of criminals, is that it?” You joke.

“Oh yeah.” Eddie nods his head, making his curls bounce. “Bet you’re the worst of us all though.” He points his finger at you. 

You press your palm against your chest, humming. “Cold blooded killer, you said it before.” You joke, looking at him seriously. 

“Exactly.” 

The game continues and the lines get sillier as Eddie keeps refilling the cups with Whiskey. You notice how the tension in Steve’s shoulders disappears after a few bigger sips of the liquor, how the redness in his cheeks glows stronger beneath the orange hues of the campfire. Your heart flutters every time his eyes flash with amusement, with happiness. Every time his laughter echoes, you feel something in you heating up in a way it never has before. 

For a moment, the world out there is gone. It’s just the four of you, being normal people. You aren’t out here trying to survive. You aren’t out here surrounded by death. You aren’t out here barely pushing through this world. Right now, you can be a group of friends having fun… just that. And you enjoy it so much. You have never felt more welcomed than you do with them. 

Nancy’s eyes shine with tears of laughter as Eddie continues his story of the girl who threw up on his shoes when he tried flirting with her. His goal was to ask her out on a date, not realizing that she was fully drunk until it was too late. 

“God… why do you always have the lamest dating stories, Munson?” Steve laughs, blinking away his own tears. 

“That poor girl! She must have been so embarrassed!” You mumble, trying not to giggle as much. 

“Sweetheart, I threw up right after. We were both embarrassed.” 

You break into laughter again, though your face cringes in disgust at the image of it in your head. 

“Did you ever see her again, after?” Steve asks, his lips twitching as he tries to stop laughing. 

“Yeah, in the school hallway. It was awkward as hell.” Eddie admits with wide eyes. 

“God…” Nancy mumbles, amused. She leans back and tilts her head up, looking up into the sky with a lazy smile on her lips. 

“Yeah…” Eddie chuckles to himself as he looks into the fire. His finger traces the rim of his cup. 

For a moment, silence takes over. Only the crackling of the wood is heard around you. You watch the flames too, contentment filling you. 

You don’t notice his eyes on you or the way they scan your face, the way they look at you. You don’t realize that he is smiling or that his eyes are sparkling. If only you looked up. 

“Never have I ever had sex.” Eddie snorts, knowing he will make everyone drink this time. 

“Of course,” Nancy snorts and straightens up in her seat again, bringing the cup to her lip, she finishes the remains of her whiskey. 

Steve rolls his eyes as he follows suit, finishing the last bit of his drink. He turns to face you and a frown appears on his face. 

Eddie notices the look on his face when he has taken the biggest gulp of the night. 

You avoid their eyes, blushing furiously as you continue to stare into the fire. Your shoulders, your whole body is tense. Embarrassment is written all over your face. You sit still. The soda can frozen in your lap. You haven’t taken a single sip and you don’t plan on taking one as your fingers play with the loose string on your blanket. 

Steve’s eyes widen when the realization hits him. 

Oh. 

Nancy’s lips part in surprise, her eyes soften when she sees just how flustered you are. 

Eddie is the last to realize but when he does, he nearly chokes on the whiskey. He gulps down and coughs a little. Bringing his hand up to his chest as his wide eyes search for yours. 

“You… You’re a virgin, Sweetheart?” He gasps, knowing he should be approaching the topic a little more gently but he is too shocked, too intoxicated to let that rational voice in his head tell him what to do. 

Eddie is flabbergasted. 

And Steve… Steve’s eyes are filled with confusion and disbelief. His heart is pounding in his chest. How?  

“I’m sorry. I’m sorry but… how?”

Eddie asks the question that repeats itself in Steve’s mind. 

You bite your lip and look at him, avoiding Steve’s eyes. You feel too embarrassed. 

“You’re not fucking with us, are you?” Eddie squints his eyes, finding it hard to believe. 

“Nope.” 

“But… You said you had a boyfriend!” Those words come tumbling out of Steve’s mouth. 

Eddie’s and Nancy’s heads snap towards him. This is something they didn’t know about you. 

You roll your eyes and huff, “just because I had a boyfriend doesn’t mean that I slept with him. Besides… that was the exact reason why he told me I was immature… the exact reason why he cheated on me.” You mumble, looking down. 

Steve’s eyes harden at that. His chest burns with rage over that prick that was given the chance to date you only to fuck you over. 

Nancy leans forward, her protectiveness kicking in, shooting off the roof. 

“He cheated on you because you weren’t ready to sleep with him?” She scoffs, slurring her words a bit. Her blue eyes burn with anger for someone she doesn’t even know. “What– Men! Men fucking suck!” 

You smile a little. 

Eddie moves closer and pats Nancy’s back. 

“Hey, not all of us are bad,” Eddie chuckles. 

Steve looks down at his cup. His heart aches at the thought of how you felt back then. He knows your heart was crushed and you were devastated. You don’t have to tell him that for him to know. 

“I hope he died. Gruesomely. Fucked in the ass by an infected–”

You crack up at her words. The tension slips away as amusement takes over and you and Eddie start laughing loudly at her. 

Steve leans forward, he puts the empty cup down and presses his palms together, entwining his fingers. He glances at you, his eyes tracing your features while you are distracted. 

“So uh… nothing?” Eddie asks after your laughter dies down. His curiosity gets the best of him. His eyes keep glancing towards Steve to catch his reactions. 

You shake your head shyly. 

Nancy eyes you, wanting to make sure that you are comfortable talking about this. 

“No… It’s not like I don’t have the need…” You admit, surprising yourself even. But you feel safe talking about this, comfortable. Like you won’t get judged. “I mean– I had my own you know…”

Eddie raises his eyebrows, playing coy, playing dumb. 

Steve straightens up a bit, nerves growing wild inside of him as he stares at you. 

Eddie bows his head a little. “No? I know what?”

You avoid Steve’s eyes still. Heat rises to your cheeks, not from the fire but from the embarrassment inside of you. From talking about this in front of the guy you… you like. 

You blink. Tapping your fingers against your knee. 

“A helper…?”

Eddie almost bursts into laughter. He enjoys seeing you like this. He enjoys the way Steve is cracking his knuckles beside him, shifting on his chair. 

Nancy licks her lips, holding back her smile when she realizes what he is doing, when she realizes how red Steve’s cheeks are. 

Frustration bubbles up inside of you when you notice the mischief flashing in Eddie’s brown eyes. 

“For fucks sake! A vibrator! A fucking vibrator!” 

Nancy giggles loudly beside you. She is definitely gonna bring that up later. 

Steve nearly falls over. His heart almost beats out of his chest. His eyes are glued on you. Heat spreads across his whole body and before he can even stop it, images start cursing through his mind. Images of you… of you on your bed, of your hands on your body, on your bare body that he had seen already. The realization strikes that he was the first to see you like this, to touch your soft skin, to hold you. 

Suddenly his heart does more than just flutter. 

Eddie smirks at you. His shoulders shake. 

“Yeah, just wanted to make sure it was that.” 

You roll your eyes at him. 

“You fucking dick!”

Nancy and he chuckle at you, sharing amused glances. 

“Now…” You start after a moment of silence. “I don’t know if it’ll ever happen, and I regret not giving my virginity to my ex…” You admit a little shamefully. 

The three of them look at you in question. 

“Why do you say it won’t?” Steve asks. 

You chuckle softly and shrug as you look up at Steve, “look around us, Steve. It’s the end of the world… I could die tomorrow and I think it’s obvious to say that the chances of finding someone in the apocalypse are pretty scarce.” 

They all fall silent, looking at you with pity – something that you don’t want, something that you hate. 

But they notice that you are actually afflicted by it. 

Eddie narrows his eyes, shifting in his seat. He looks at Steve, noticing the way he watches you intently. A sliver of yearning in his hazel eyes. 

If he doesn’t take the chance… 

Eddie clears his throat. Licking his lips, he looks back at you. 

“Listen, if I didn’t have my sweetheart, I’d offer to make your first time the best night of your life,” he says cockily. A smirk tugging at his lips when he feels Steve’s angry eyes on him. 

You don’t even pay much attention to his comment. You nearly give yourself a whiplash by how fast you turn towards him. 

“You have a sweetheart!? Wait! Are you talking about your guitar? You showed me pictures of it and–”

“Of course not my guitar!” Eddie interrupts you, grinning. “I have my love waiting for me in California!”

Your eyes lighten up and you sit up straighter, curious to hear about his love story. 

But Steve and Nancy roll their eyes and groan. 

“Don’t listen to him, he never wanted to tell us… so obviously he is bluffing.” Nancy murmurs. “If he had a sweetheart we would have known about her or him!” 

Eddie scoffs, though the smile on his face doesn’t disappear, instead it grows even wider. 

“Honestly Nancy… If I were really single, I would have tried my luck with this young lady I have in front of me the moment I saw her. She’s funny and sweet and she’s hot as hell. Who wouldn’t try to make a move on that piece of ass?” 

Your eyes widen, and you instantly grow flustered, cheeks burning like crazy. 

The bitter taste on Steve’s tongue returns and he can’t even hide his frown this time when he looks at the metalhead beside him, only to realize that he fell right into his trap. Eddie is already looking back at him with a smug smirk on his face. 

Nancy is watching you, how you flush all over while you sip your soda. She holds back her smile, thinking that it’s cute. 

“Don’t worry, Sweetheart. I see you as nothing more than a friend.” He makes the message very clear… to Steve. 

Yet, it does little to calm him down. The same sour feeling as he felt before spreads through his chest. 

Silence fills the space around you for a moment and the air suddenly shifts. You don’t know what it is yet. You don’t notice the look on Nancy’s face and how the amusement slowly fades as the alcohol kicks in differently, affecting other kinds of emotions now. 

“Well.” Eddie looks around, clapping his hands together. “Anyone else got a confession to make?”

Steve shakes his head just like you. 

Nancy hesitates. A sullen look suddenly takes over, crossing over her features out of nowhere. She blinks rapidly as she stares into the fire, chewing on her bottom lip. 

“I love Robin.” 

You slowly look towards her, unlike Eddie who snaps his head into her direction, looking at her in surprise. 

But Steve, he already knew, well– he suspected it. He knew about Robin’s feelings. He knew that she fell in love with Nancy. He remembers how guilty she looked when she confessed to him, fearing that he would hate her for falling in love with his ex-girlfriend. He remembers how scared she was, how she looked at him, like she thought that she was about to lose her best friend. He hugged her then and promised that it was okay. His love for Nancy was in the past and it was never real love to begin with, nothing to mourn over. Puppy love. And the thing that happened back in ‘86 was nothing more than a moment of desperation to feel the only real thing he once thought he had. 

Eddie’s smile slowly fades, lips curling downwards as he stares at Nancy’s glossy eyes. She is his best friend but it’s something he didn’t know. It’s something she wasn’t ready to confess. To speak into the universe. To let out. 

“She… She confessed to me. She told me that she loves me… that she’s in love with me. And then she died…on the same day.” She whispers and bows her head to hide the tears that are about to slip down her cheeks. 

Steve breathes in shakily, he looks away and closes his eyes. 

“I never said it back.”

Your heart breaks for her. She kept it all to herself for such a long time, it must have been eating away at her. Her sniffles pains you even more. You lean forward and place your hand on her knee. 

“Shit…” Eddie whispers, staring at her with sad eyes as the realization slowly sinks in. “I didn’t know, Nance.”

“Yeah…” She whispers, not looking up just yet. “And now… I can never say it back.”

You don’t know what to say. Eddie doesn’t either. You’re both not even sure if words are what she needs or if she just needs to let this all out. 

“I-I honestly never made a move on her before that because I thought she hated me…” She confesses, talking without a filter now. Her emotions take control, guided by the alcohol in her system. 

You frown at her words, gripping her knee tighter as you try to see her face but it’s covered by her long hair. 

“Why would she hate you, Nancy?” 

Eddie looks between you both, his eyebrows furrowed. 

“Because of what I did to Steve.” She whispers, slowly looking up at you. 

Anxiety builds up inside of you and you begin to feel nervous. 

“W-What did you do to Steve?”

Steve snaps his head towards the two of you, shaking his head with a panicked look on his face. “Nancy–”

“I cheated on him. Hurt him. I thought Robin would hardly forgive someone like that. That Robin wouldn’t even like someone that did that to her best friend… Even if that happened a long time ago…”

Steve closes his eyes with a sigh, murmuring a quiet ‘fuck’.

Eddie winces under his breath. 

You draw back instantly, your hand falling off her knee. You take in a sharp breath. The realization rushing through you coldly. You grip the soda can tighter and look down. 

Nancy was the girl he told you about. 

She was the one who hurt him, who broke his heart. 

All this time you have been traveling with them and you didn’t even know. 

You feel like a fool. 

And it’s sadness and insecurity that hits you the hardest. She was the girl. And you are nothing like her, not even in the slightest. 

Steve looks up at you slowly. He tries to catch a glimpse of your face but it’s tilted so far down.

You don’t know what to feel, what to think. 

How can he be around her? You’d never be able to travel with your ex-boyfriend who cheated on you, lied to you, acted like he loved you. You could never be around him, let alone be his friend… unless you still loved him. 

Suddenly it’s nausea that bubbles up. Your heart sinks to your stomach. And now you wonder, would you have known sooner if you just put two and two together? If you would have taken a closer look? 

“I never knew.” Eddie murmurs, patting her back. 

“I didn’t want anyone to know,” Nancy whispers. “A-And that’s all… that’s all I got to confess. What about you…? Do you have anything…?”

You suddenly feel suffocated and you no longer want to sit here in this circle. It’s all become too much and all these questions running through your head begin to drive you crazy. You want to be alone. You need to think. 

You clear your throat as you get up, picking up your discarded bowl from before and your empty soda can. You take a quick look around and force a smile on your face when Nancy looks up at you with her big eyes. 

“I’m gonna go to sleep. I’m tired and my head is starting to hurt again.” You lie. You avoid both Steve’s and Eddie’s eyes. 

“Oh.” Nancy mumbles, her shoulders slumping. 

“Good night.” You whisper before you brush past Steve, ignoring the way he looks up at you in concern. You quickly make your way into the RV and shut the door behind you before any of them can question you. 

You set everything down on the kitchen counter. Gripping the edges of it, you lean against it and close your eyes, sighing loudly. 

You are confused and shocked, not understanding how it all went over your head for months. You could have known sooner. You should have. You wish you did. 

A part of you wants to know more, the other part doesn’t. 

You clean up your bowl and put everything away before you make your way into the tiny bathroom to brush your teeth. You hurry, wanting to be asleep before anyone comes in to check on you. 

Not even the mint flavor of your toothpaste can get rid of the bitter taste on your tongue though. 

“Sunshine?” 

You almost groan in annoyance. Almost. You would have if it wasn’t him. You spit out the paste and rinse your mouth before you walk out. You plaster a smile on your face when you notice him standing by the kitchen counter. 

He offers you a smile, “I uh… are you okay? Do you need anything?” 

Your eyes soften. You press your lips together and shake your head, “no, I just… I wanna get some sleep.” 

He brings his hand up to the back of his neck as he nods, “alright…”

You don’t move and neither does he. 

Steve is so selfless. He’s so kind and sweet when he allows himself to be. He would do anything for his friends, showing you that he would do absolutely everything for the one he loves. There is not a single bad thing about him. So… how could she do this to him? 

“I’m–”

“So Nancy…” 

Steve can’t read the expression on your face nor can he figure out the emotion in your voice but if he didn’t know any better, he would think it is hurt… sadness. But why? 

“Yeah…” Steve whispers. 

He doesn’t know why he feels the urge to show you, to tell you that he doesn’t feel anything for Nancy, that he hasn’t felt anything for her in years, that he could never again. 

You swallow harshly and nod. You take a seat on the bench and he follows you after a second, sitting down beside you. 

“Do you…” You pause, not knowing if you’re actually ready to find out. 

“I don’t love her anymore if that’s what you think.” Steve confesses, wanting – needing you to know. 

He wishes he could ignore the way your shoulders slump in relief or the way your eyes fill with something that looks like hope. 

“No?”

He shakes his head, “no. It was uh… It was puppy love but not real love, if it makes sense?” 

“Oh.”

Steve takes a deep breath. He continues to look into your eyes, wanting to catch each and every one of your reactions. 

“It was the first time someone else… cared for me. That someone seemed to like me for me and not because I was this popular guy… I only knew loneliness thanks to my parents being complete assholes.” 

Your eyebrows furrow as though you’re in pain. The sympathy and the sadness the flashes in your eyes reminds him of Robin. 

Steve runs his fingers through his hair, swallowing the lump that grew in his throat. 

“I’m so sorry, Steve.” You frown, knowing how that ended for him. 

“It’s okay, Sunshine.” He shrugs, his whisper is soft. 

How could she look into his hazel eyes and not fall for him harder every day? How could she look at him and think that he wasn’t good enough? That there could be someone better out there? How could she look at him and not think that he was the best thing that’s ever happened to her? 

There is little distance between you and your hand finds his before you can even think rationally. 

Steve looks down at it. It’s not the first time he feels your touch like this. It’s also not the first time he feels that electric feeling cursing through him. 

“But then… Robin came.”

“Wait then… you for Robin–”

“God, no, no…” Steve shakes his head, interrupting you quickly. “She just… She just filled that loneliness, and it made me realize that I was just chasing Nancy… pretending to be in love… Just to noy feel alone again…” He explains, cringing a little. “And then, Robin kind of started dating this girl, and I felt that bit of bitterness inside of me cause she was spending a little less time with me.” 

You nod in understanding as he keeps talking. 

“I tried dating around as well… But nothing worked out, no one wanted me for anything other than sex.” 

You frown at his words, feeling anger and a sliver of jealousy burning in you. 

“So I kind of… set my eyes back on Nancy again, not because I still loved her but… She was just the closest thing I had to a ‘real’ relationship. It was dumb to chase her again, to go after someone who hurt me. It took me a moment to realize that there are other versions of love that can be fulfilling.” 

“Robin.” 

He gives you a small smile, tapping your hand with his finger. He eyes the lilac hair tie around your wrist. It’s yours now. For safekeeping. 

“Robin.” He nods. 

He stopped seeking her out when he let go of a love he thought was… love. Maybe it should calm you down a little but it doesn’t. 

“And now… that Robin is… gone?”

He knows what you’re asking. 

You want to know if he will do it again, if he will chase after her again. 

Steve shakes his head, humming. “I would never make that mistake again,” he chuckles, cringing at his younger self. “Besides, I don’t feel lonely.”

“Oh… Eddie and Nance?” You ask. 

You secretly hope that you are the reason for that he doesn’t feel lonely anymore. 

“No, I felt lonely with them too. I was… grumpy, remember?” He asks, cocking his eyebrow as his eyes flash with amusement. 

You shake your head, “then what–”

“You came.” He confesses. 

And it makes your heart flutter like crazy. Your eyes fill with so much hope. You straighten up and curl your hand around his as you gaze into his hazel eyes. 

“You are… as stubborn as Robin was.” He whispers. “You remind me of her.” 

Oh… 

And then it hits you. 

It hits you harder than anything else ever has before. 

He never liked you for you. 

He gave you a chance because you reminded him of the one person that meant everything to him. He gave you a chance because he saw her in you, because he could pretend. 

You were never to him what he is to you. 

You are a replacement. A placeholder. 

And here you thought you found someone who likes you for you. 

But of course not. 

How did you never see it? Every time he talked about Robin, every time that he mentioned a memory, and– His eyes, they are looking at your wrist. At the hair tie, and– It was him… he put that on you, and now you knew. This wasn’t just anyone’s hair tie… this was Robin’s.

Your hand slowly slips away from his, looking down at the floor. You caught feelings only to find out that he saw you as a replacement for his soulmate. For someone he thought of as family, as a sister. He sees you that way, he will always see you that way and not as a woman. Not as someone who can try to give the love he wants and needs. 

Because you are like Robin… and you are the opposite of Nancy.

You’ll never be like Nancy. She looks like… a woman, a strong woman that knows what she wants, that is experienced, that is mature, that knows how to handle most of the situations with a clear mind and you– You are reckless, a klutz like Eddie had called you, and you also were–

“You want a kitkat before bed, Sunshine?”

Immature.

☀︎

taglist: @prettyboyeddiemunson @pretentious-blonde @thecreelhouse @tvserie-s-world @thesickestqrmydcll @crispystarfishhottub @sophal22 @definitionwanderlust @talkativecarnation @mysticalwoolenfroglegs @ariesandwolves @mortqlprojections @sattlersquarry @sherrylyn0628 @purpleeyeswithgoldensparkles @micheledawn1975 @keepingitlokiii @littleromanoff2005 @sunshine-mrk @xxladymjxx

[fafodill]

On Snape depriving himself sexually...

SO, I got hyperfocused and I hope you'll enjoy reading this as much as I enjoyed writing it. I needed only one person to tell me they were interested so thank you @severus-snaps haha. And thank you @wisteria-lodge for encouraging me !

This is a continuation of my previous post about Snape's relation with intimacy. I'm always a sucker for the pent up and deprived trope and I feel like Snape could fit the profile perfectly. Of course this is complete HC, as we literally have zero information about him having any personal life whatsoever so... pure speculation and meta discussion. Let's have fun, buckle up, here is why I think he'd make a great candidate for it :

Early teens: Many of us tend to interpret Snape as sexually inexperienced. This of course comes partly from his unpopularity in school, a time where teenagers start experimenting a bit. It's hard to imagine the little scrawny greasy potion nerd getting a lot of action. Though I'm open to thinking something might have happened here and there. I mean, girls also like smart and scrawny guys, I would love to read a fic where a Ravenclaw or Slytherin has a crush on him and he's utterly clueless because he's too engrossed in his books and when he realizes he's so flustered and clumsy about it. And they snog in the library and he's so afraid of getting caught by Mrs Pince. But being consistently bullied would have hurt his reputation, thus making people avoid being associated with him to not become targets as well. Also, his bullies were good-looking guys and it may have contributed to highlighting his bad looks in the public eye way more than if he had been left alone. And just with the nickname alone, but you won't tell me James and Sirius never insulted his nose, his hair, his complexion or his thin frame.

So one of the first core belief that might have emerged and latched itself to his sexuality would have been: I'm ugly/repelling.

But we don't have any proof in canon that he wasn't interested in romantic/sexual interactions back then. For all we know, he was a socially awkward teenager going through puberty. Even if he was certainly anxious and angry due to the bullying, he was still going through the same hormone cocktail as everyone.

HC : I've been wondering how the students find places to masturbate in peace and of course we don't exactly know why he invented the Muffliato charm but give me a Snape who was too whimpery to be completely silent and used it for this.

Post SWM though, I think it's safe to assume the trauma scared him unconsciously regarding the subject. Being perceived before wasn't easy, as he was aware he wasn't exactly good-looking and his self-esteem was impacted for sure, but after... oh boy. I can imagine him so traumatized that the mere idea of undressing in the vicinity of people was making his blood freeze. This may have led to hygiene issues as well, or only feeling safe to shower in the dead of night or at times where the dormitories where utterly empty. The shame linked to having his body and underwear exposed could have definitely stunned his sexual awakening as it happened at such a crucial age. How can you safely explore your own sexuality if every time you think about how ugly you are and that so many people saw your body and laughed at it ? (and the adults doing nothing to punish the people who did that hammered the beliefs that he was indeed laughable)

So second core belief added: I'm ridicule.

Also the SWM incident might have triggered his need to cover/shield his body from head to toe at all time and nobody can convince me otherwise.

At the very least I imagine masturbating would then be heavily linked to the anger and shame of that moment. The memory would either unlock or at least impact it unconsciously in some way, marking the act with a profound bitterness or stopping it altogether. The result: every time his body would ask for attention, he'd be overcome with very intense traumatic feelings and have no idea how to deal with them; so he'd start recoiling instinctively from any sexual thought. Also, since undressing/changing clothes became a triggering act, being even partially nude to touch himself would also stress him immensely.

So instead of indulging, he'd start developing coping mechanisms like focusing on anything else that brought him a sense of pleasure to trick his brain : potions, the dark arts, creating spells etc.

And of course, we can assume that even if someone was trying to approach him at that point, he'd recoil like a wounded animal, expecting mockery and reacting very aggressively.

After Hogwarts: We don't know what might have happened during his 3-4 years after school. We have a lot of creative space, though we know he got a Potion Mastery (??) so he must have studied somewhere and he was active within the DE circles. As @maxdibert pointed in a few posts - which I think is an astute point - the Dark Lord was aware of the affection/attraction Severus had felt towards Lily and, to prove his disinterest, he might have engaged with a few pureblood women. We could speculate on different situations here (and if anyone's interested we could explore this), but as I'm going for deprived!Snape, I'd say it wasn't helpful. At this point he's a young adult, torn between his inexperience and his limboing self-esteem. On top of that he's a deeply proud individual, obsessed with controlling the way he's being perceived. He's already occlumenting his emotions to remain safe, and well, engaging sexually does require some sort of vulnerability he isn't capable of at that point.

Maybe he said some harsh things to his partners when confronted with his clumsiness (even if they were kind), maybe he got bit back (and deserved it). He'd use these instances as confirmation bias to convince himself intimacy wasn't something emotionally safe, interesting nor even remotely pleasant enough.

Then there's Lily's death, and I personally don't see her as having a lot of influence on his sexuality directly (except maybe for the fact that when he had feelings for her, he might have felt she was 'too pretty for him', which fed the first core belief), but it did fuel a ton the last core belief which is : I'm undeserving (because I'm a bad person).

The undeserving part existed prior to her death. It stemmed from his upbringing (undeserving of care), of his social status (undeserving of material comfort), his blood status (undeserving of opportunities), his social awkwardness (undeserving of friendship), his special interest in the dark arts (undeserving of respect).

Lily's death crystallized such deep guilt inside of him that he devoted his life after that to atoning. I'm a firm believer that there's a clear before and after regarding the way he treated his body. Not that things were drastically different, but it made it worse. He ate less, slept less and touched himself even less. Probable not at all for a good few months, maybe even up to a year or so as he was extremely stressed from his new job, depressed and overcomed with grief. Honestly, at that point in his life he was barely functioning.

Then we have his adult life at Hogwarts: at that point in his life he's working and living where his worst trauma occurred. Not great for healing. During those years, he mastered the art of shutting down with occlumency everything he couldn't deal with, including his body's basic needs. He had excuses for everything. Sleeping? How could he rest when he had so much work to do dealing with the little shitheads and that infuriating Headmaster? Eating? Pfft, he had been fine all his childhood, so now he'd eat what he needed to function, but craving something and getting it wasn't something he'd allow himself. Masturbating? Tricky part, because he almost never thought about it anymore. He would not even treat it as a basic need. Like, sleep and food were still required to function, even in limited amount or he would pass out, but he could function without sex. Bottom line is, deep down he would feel undeserving of any sort of pleasure.

Rewarding his body, taking care of it wasn't allowed. It was part of his self-inflicted punishment.

But it would be still natural for his body to seek sexual release from time to time. He'd have hard-ons sometimes in the morning and ignore it until it went away, maybe take a cold shower or - why not - even take a potion he'd have invented to calm it down (or worse, to make it hurt so it would go down, if you want to go the masochistic way). The way I see it, every time he'd have an unwanted sensual/sexual thought (oh, this person at the Three Broomsticks has disarmingly pretty lips, this other person's got very elegant hands, or this one's hips look live they're meant to be grabbed), he'd shut it down immediately.

Fantasizing wouldn't be pleasant either. Each time, it would trigger the self-depreciating thoughts. Who are you fooling ? This person would never touch you, never look at you. And if they did, you wouldn't deserve it and would fuck it up anyway. Faceless people then, but it would still always be tainted with the ghost of years of bitterness, loneliness and unmet needs. So it'd be easier to pretend he doesn't have them or doesn't care. Of course this would do nothing to soothe his sour mood (and here talking from experience: I've been sexually frustrated quite a lot in my twenties, and I can definitely say that the mental relief you feel alongside the physical release when you get it is quite something. Like, I'd be a changed person, just because chemically my brain would finally be swimming again in endorphins. So yeah, at that point in his life I believe he's in dire need of a good shag and is partly always on edge because of this).

And when he would indulge in masturbation, it'd be because he's too tired to fight it or just because he knows that if he does, his body would leave him alone for a while. It would be quick, mechanical, in the dark, the mess cleaned up immediately and then forgotten about. The less thinking involved, the better so it wouldn't trigger the core beliefs. Maybe it'd happen when being tipsy after a night out with the other professors, or just when he was too stressed or exhausted at the end of terms and it was his body's way of asking for a break and a distraction.

I think he'd be also more prone to having his sexual needs resurface when he's not at Hogwarts and the mental toll of being there isn't weighing on him (maybe during summer or maybe even if he goes into the Forbidden Forest to gather potion ingredients, or a trip to Diagon Alley). He would find it really annoying, not realizing how the two are linked.

Then how would he be dealing with the constant tension and redirecting the release ? (fun stuff)

I think he could get a sick pleasure from being able to not indulge for long periods of time, thriving on his sense of control. He'd maybe even feel shame when he finally does, chastising himself for being weak.

When too tired to notice, late at night in his office, his body would hijack control a little bit and he'd start rubbing himself unconsciously with one hand while correcting essays and immediately stop upon realizing.

He'd be a GREAT candidate for edging. Like telling himself that if there's no release it doesn't count and he could get some pleasure whilst still shaming and punishing himself. Maybe sometimes even without touching himself directly, just letting the fabric rub on him, while shifting his hips just a bit. A good compromise he wouldn't want to analyze too closely.

Being pent up all the time makes one irritable, so some of that tension is fueling his already short-tempered nature and getting out by lashing out at idiots. It would also be a way to... spill out but with words (classy I know).

I don't see him doing any sport to get endorphins and relieve tension (though he does prowl the castle at night, that counts as walking haha).

The only part of his body I could see him pay attention to would be his hands as he uses them for potion work. He could be proud of their dexterity and I can imagine him taking care of them. Like, once of twice a week he'd put a cream or an ointment (self-made ofc) and massage his fingers and palms. Nothing sexual about it but it would be the closest he has to a gentle self-touch.

But mostly, his sole source of pleasure would still come from focusing on his interests. Working all night on improving a new potion, loosing himself in the method and appreciating his own skills, or reading about and experimenting with the Dark Arts (I don't think he ever stopped seeking knowledge, which is why he was able to save Dumbledore's ass from Marvolo's ring). These two things are his private garden, something that's inherently his despite everything, and it would be his way of pleasuring himself in an acceptable way: intellectually.

But what about the people around him or potential partners ?

He'd hate any sexual jokes or comments about him or in general. Sexually open people would make him angry (jealous). It'd irk him. As it's such a loaded and repressed subject for him he'd see them as flaunting their unspoken good experiences. He'd try to unconsciously shame them into silence by telling them they're being inappropriate. At the end of the day, it's just his way of protecting himself because he wouldn't know how to navigate the conversation, and his pride wouldn't let him feel ridiculed again.

He would also hate being looked at, even clothed. People judging his body would definitely trigger the awful memory from SWM. He would struggle immensely to accept the possibility of being looked at in an appraising way. If someone was sincere and stubborn enough to convince him they're not lying, he'd be extremely confused and wary.

And if he was to be attracted to that person as well, he'd have to deal with an almost second puberty on top of his core beliefs. He'd be so clumsy, so out of touch with his body and very frustrated with all the unwanted sensations he's not used to deal with. And that's such an interesting and fascinating subject aaaah.

At the end of the day, deep down he doesn't believes he deserves pleasure or comfort in his life so a partner would have to be patient with him. There's a lot of strategies they could try and I'd be delighted to explore them but I'm gonna stop here because this essay is so long already haha. SO, in conclusion:

He needs a good shag.

Thank you for reading.

UPDATE: go here to read how to bed deprived!Snape

I'd love to discuss how it would go with different characters trying to approach him, or I could talk about the classic trope of losing control because of his short temper but with him deprived, so many possibilties aaah, I love it when he's angry AND horny AND clumsy-

Also, my current favorite oneshot of deprived!Snape here : Cursed into Temptation by @marvel-snape-writes (very smutty, amazing, I'm on my knees)

[ozzgin]

Sorry to bother you, but the bodyguard post you did was just 🤤🥰😍 and I can't stop thinking about it day later

Have you ever seen Oshi no Ko? I'd love to see Bodyguard react to someone trying to do something similar as what happened to Ai.

Fans get wind their beloved idol might have feeling for her staff, so a crazed fan tracks down her private address. He plans to get revenge for "His idol cheating on him" but doesn't know there is a guard dog inside ready to bite any threat to his precious charge.

Sorry to keep ragging on about the topic, I just adore you work enough that it lives in my head rent free.

Happy holidays

-🌟

I sadly haven't seen Oshi no Ko, but your description sounds very interesting. Thank you for the idea! I've combined it with your previous suggestion, I think they work together really well. Happy Holidays to you, too! :)

Yandere!Bodyguard x Idol!Reader (II)

Your new manager has sent you home for the holidays after persistent rumors surrounding you and your bodyguard. And, as luck would have it, the fan responsible for the accusations successfully sneaks his way in. Sadly for him, you’ve never left the watchful gaze of your loyal, mean dog.

[Part 1] [Part 2] [Part 3]

content: female reader, violence, threats, mentions of stalking

(Cover from the manga “A girl and her guard dog”)

"Enjoy your holidays!" 

The driver cheerfully bids you goodbye and speeds away, leaving you behind the imposing gate. You drag your luggage inside and nonchalantly toss it with an annoyed huff.

What now? You're all alone in a hollow mansion. 

Early December you begun receiving worrying letters from a fan, making wild claims about you and your bodyguard. Naturally, you laughed it off. Your bodyguard found them equally amusing. So much, that he'd ask you to read them out loud as you rode him. "I w-won't stand for it. You know we ha-ave something special going on, (Y/N)-chan." You barely managed to form coherent sentences, feverishly clinging to the large man underneath you. "You heard the guy. Better be on your best behavior", he'd add with a chuckle, wiping the drool from your mouth. 

The new manager, however, wasn't as relaxed about it. He couldn't risk tarnishing the reputation of his beloved cash cow, so he suggested you take a break from personal assistants until the rumors tone down. If you remained within your expensively secured house, you wouldn't need any guarding. So, he caringly prescribed a dose of homely isolation for the upcoming holidays. 

"Don't be so dramatic", he said, "Jesus spent 40 days in the desert by himself. And he didn't have your indoor cinema or jacuzzi bathtub."

"Yeah, but he had the Devil to tempt him. Where's my bad guy?" You whined as a retort. 

You let out another groan and throw yourself on the couch, fiddling with the remote. Kind of them to decorate everything for Christmas, you think as you eye the gigantic kitsch of a tree slapped in the middle of the living room. 

Fuck. What an absolute waste of time. All because of one crazy fan. You almost wish he'd show his stupid face so your bodyguard could pummel it to bits and crumbles. You wonder what he's doing by himself. Is he going to be assigned to another idol? Probably not, two weeks is too short of a time for anything. You check your phone.

Suddenly, the screen lights up. A text notification. 

"Bored?"

Heh. It's almost as if he can read your mind. You smile to yourself and type your response, stretching onto the sofa. Your little back and forth messaging goes on until you look up and notice the room has gotten darker. Already evening. You can hear your stomach growl, so you get up and drag your feet towards the kitchen, searching for takeaway fliers. If you're going to be under house arrest, the least you can afford is junk food. 

Once you place your decadent order, you hop onto the counter and idly dangle your legs in anticipation. Your favorite off-duty guard dog has abruptly told you he needs to go and is now offline. "Something came up". What could possibly require his immediate attention? A mistress? You giggle at the idea. In all your time spent together, you haven't seen him glance at a single woman. If he must, he will engage with other people using one-word replies, visibly uninterested. You never considered him much of a talker, but his behavior with anyone else, in comparison, is downright hostile. 

There's a rustling sound and you jolt. Was the food delivered already? It hasn't been that long. You jump off the marble countertop and freeze in place once you see the man standing in the doorway. His face is concealed with a medical mask and he's audibly panting, the hot air fogging up his glasses. You notice the knife in his hand.

"How rude of you to cheat on me so shamelessly, (Y/N) dear."

Huh? Your eyes widen in realization. Was this the crazed fan bombarding you with threatening letters? Your features twist in utter disgust, still transfixed on the weapon within his grip. 

This little shit. Not only does he break into your home, but he decides to intimidate you with a department store kitchen utensil. Is that all you're worth? Is that any way to greet one of the top idols in this country?

You angrily pull the nearby drawer open and grab a long, sharp blade. The man tenses up and steps forward, but you stop him in his tracks, throwing the item at his feet. He stares at you, bewildered. 

"It's a Yoshihiro Sashimi knife. More than your monthly income, most likely." You state as you leer down at him, grimace plastered on your face. "Pick it up like the animal you are."

He cannot move. Is this his beloved (Y/N)? Her pretty, innocent smile and sparkling eyes have been replaced by this hateful scowl. He feels like a cockroach about to be stepped on, a mere vermin invading her personal space. This can't be right. It's him that should be upset, he's the betrayed party. When has she gotten so...Ah. This must be the work of that bodyguard. He's always known. The way he looks at her, with a predatory glint as if marking his territory. He should've noticed earlier. Poor, sweet (Y/N), at the hands of a brute. Tears form in his eyes and he opens his mouth to speak up, but a burning blow assaults his back and everything goes black. 

Your bodyguard casually walks in and lifts the intruder up by the nape of his neck. 

"Are you okay? Did he touch you?"

You blush and wipe your eyelashes dramatically, releasing a gentle sob from your puckered lips.

"Touch? He almost killed me! I was so scared...I thought I was done for."

He frowns at your words.

"I'll take care of it."

You can feel the familiar knot forming in your stomach. As he drags the body out of the kitchen, you follow behind enthusiastically. 

"Do it in the living room!" You almost squeal.

"Are you sure? It will get messy. I'm not letting this one walk out." He warns you with a worried expression. 

"Yes, yes!" you nod, all bubbly. "Right here, next to the Christmas tree."

Once the gory spectacle is over, the bodyguard sprawls onto the sofa, exhausted. He exhales loudly and runs a hand through his hair. You are about to join him, when a thought crosses your mind. 

"Now that I think about it, how did you know I was about to be attacked? That was some really extraordinary timing."

Out of reflex, he palms his pocket to check if his phone is still within his possession. Thankfully he hasn't left it in plain sight. You squint suspiciously. 

"Are you spying on me or something?"

He remains quiet for a few moments and eventually lowers his head apologetically, avoiding eye contact.

"Forgive me, Miss."

When he glances up again, your small figure is looming over him.

"Wow, what a pervert you are." You push his chin up with your dainty fingers. "How will you make it up to me for such nasty habit~?"

"Is there anything you want me to do?"

"Good boy."

[valdekboy]

Another Amazing AU

I never know what to write here… so let's get straight to the point then. A while back I found another amazing AU that belongs to @chez-cinnamon and I liked it … a lot.

And as always, If I liked something, I can't just be normal about it and comment something nice, I had to draw something. Long story short, first sketches were terrible, that took me on a long trip of re-learning some things and learning a couple new things. Overall, making these drawings was one looong roller coaster.

And as always . . . THAT LITTLE YELLOW SON OF A GUN WAS PUSHING ME TO DRAW THE MAIN 6 HE LIKES SO MUCH. So this time I gave him a camera and made HIM do all the work. Let's see how it went.

Well, the camera experienced Mach 1 speed, so I think that's all

.

.

.

Now, that's all.

In the end I want to say that I love what you did with these characters and I'm sorry if i messed up any of them.

And now off I go cause honestly I'm a bit stressed about posting this. So I'm pressing the publish button and I'm signing off. I'll be back soon.

As always have a Good Night/Day!

And If you want to read a bit of my rambling about this whole drawing process It's all down there. Just be aware that I write these things mostly for myself.

When I did the first sketch I realized that my old method of drawing poses (which was just sticks and orbs) won't work here. So i started to learn and re-learn some basics, and I tried to remake those sketches at the same time.

In the end there were like 5 different sketches for each character and to be honest, I was really close to just throwing it all out the window because it felt like i was going nowhere. But I found the problem.

My brain just couldn't comprehend that REFERENCE is just a REFERENCE not a fucking guideline that you have to hold on to for your dear life. It's okay to mess up here and there and that no-one is going to kill me for that. And when that thought clicked in, it felt amazing. I finished sketches, then lineart, heck I even drew all these in-betweens with Valdi (that yellow potat).

And then there was time for coloring . . . and that fear of messing up came back. That's why there's not much going on in that department. I'll keep working on fixing that, but it might take a while. And these backgrounds were a complete experiment. I'm not even sure myself if they're any good.

All of this felt like I threw myself in the deep water, but somehow I did it and I'm really glad all of this happened. Comparing these to my previous ones, I really see some improvement, and I did these MUCH faster. Even counting in all the learning i did. (plus building up courage to post these)

I still wish these drawings turned out better, the lines feel stiff, there's nothing to interesting in terms of colors or shading, but even with all that, for the first time in a while I think that these drawings aren't that bad.

And now for the AU. Why this one? I just stumbled upon it one day and I really liked the idea of switching up the one who controls the whole circus. And all those changes to the characters, their style, the clothes, colors and all those little details, I just love everything about that AU. All these characters feel really calming/relaxing to draw If these are the right words to use. (I really hope it doesn't sound too weird) I don't know if I would've learnt the things I did if I didn't find that AU.

So I want to say THANK YOU @chez-cinnamon for creating an Awesome AU and all these Beautiful drawings, and for giving me that bit of inspiration I needed.

If anyone decided to read all that and somehow survived, know that I'm sorry if all of that looks like bunch of random thoughts cobbled together (I bet that my english didn't make this any easier) As I said earlier, I write these thing mostly for myself so I can come back and read them in the future (It just helps me sometimes).

And I just want YOU to know, whoever you are, I'm really glad that YOU are here, reading this.

Thank You for being here!

[ilovetheriddler]

Requesting a Bigby Wolf + fem reader in the corn maze smut for your Halloween fic post pretty pls 🫶✨

This is my first time writing a bigby fic! Yay! I hope that you enjoy it!

Halloween Fic Event.

Howling in the Corn Maze.

(Bigby Wolf x F!Reader.)

Contents: NSFW 18+ 🔞🔞🔞 rough sex, neck biting.

Bigby took a deep inhale from his cigarette as he watched you as you attempted to find a way out of the corn maze that you insisted that you go to. You thought it would be fun... it was not fun, and now you were both kind of lost.

"So... do you still think this was a good idea, sweetheart?"

"...No, but how was I supposed to know that the stupid maze was going to be so confusing?!"

It was already getting late, and there seemed to be no end in sight, just rows and rows of endless corn! As you glanced up at the sky, you noticed the moon had started to rise for the evening. It was a full moon, and suddenly you felt a little... concerned. You had never really asked your boyfriend how much the full moon affected him, if it did at all, and you found yourself hoping that it didn't.

"Hey, um... Bigby?"

"Hmm?"

"... How much... does the full moon affect you exactly...?"

He paused for a moment, thinking about it for a bit before letting out a sigh.

"I'm going to be entirely honest with you, sweetheart, certain... urges usually get a lot stronger.."

"Certain urges? Like what?"

".....I'm going to be blunt. What i mean is my sex drive increases considerably... and well... I'm a bit worried about you being near me like that because I don't want to be too rough on you..."

"Oh....."

You felt your face get incredibly flustered at his words. Yes, you'd had sex with Bigby several times before. You'd been dating for a few months now, after all, but this did make him always refusing to let you stay at his apartment during previous full moons make a lot more sense.... but you'd be lying if you said that you weren't interested in seeing how he was when he was worked up like that...

"Um, well.... I'm not really worried about that... i mean, how rough could you possibly be?"

".....Darling, that's an incredibly dangerous thing to say to me while I'm like this...."

Something about his tone of voice in that moment nearly made your heart stop, damn... maybe being near him during a full moon wouldn't be so bad? You watched as the sunlight finally fully faded, being replaced by the light of the full moon. You jolted slightly as you heard a deep and low growling sound coming from behind you. You didn't even have a chance to turn and look at him before you were being pinned to the ground.

You were a bit startled at first. You didn't mind bigby being a bit more forceful and rough with you. It just simply caught you by surprise. You let out a somewhat embarrassed squeal as the sound of ripping fabric reached your ears, both your dress and underwear being torn off faster than you thought possible.

He moved you slightly, pushing you to rest on your hands and knees facing away from him. He ran his hand down your back, his now decently sharper claws almost drawing blood as you winced. He buried his face in the crook of your neck, his teeth leaving harsh and slightly painful hickeys in their wake.

You hadn't even realized that he had undone his pants until he without warning thrusted his cock inside of you, causing a mixture between an embarrassingly loud whine and moan to leave your lips.

"Does that feel good, sweetheart? Do you like being stuffed full of me?"

You could only manage a nod as he continued to thrust into you relentlessly with a rough and uneven pace, sinking his claws into your hips as he held you in place.

You were incredibly overwhelmed in both a mixture of slight pain and a lot of pleasure to the point where you were a bit worried you might pass out. In all honesty you couldn't really complain about the idea of being fucked by a Wolfman in a corn maze all night long.

[tommykinard6]

Indulge me in a little throwback will you?

Now, you all may not know this. But I used to not like Buck. I know, I know. Shocking. First season, I couldn’t stand him. Now, if I watched it back, I might see it from a different lenses. Especially being closer now to his age in the first season. But I truly, could not stand him most of the time.

Also, I think it was the fandom obsessing over him for me. Turned me off before I felt like giving him a chance.

Eddie arrived in season 2 and boom. Favorite character. I adored him. And through him, I started to like Buck more. I felt like he helped bring out the best of Buck. That’s probably why I fell into the Buddie shipping so hard.

I was an avid Buddie shipper for years, until season 7. And y’all, I could write a long post on the problems in that section of the fandom that have existed for years. Very particularly, in fanfics.

But that’s not this post. Maybe another, if you want.

Believe it or not, this isn’t actually a shipping discourse post.

Something has really rubbed me ever so slightly the wrong way since the start of season 8. Now, not to see this hasn’t happened in previous seasons, but it just felt like everyone just didn’t…care about actually listening to Buck.

Even Maddie, the ever loving and listening sister. Feels a bit like she hasn’t had time for him and then also makes a tasteless and sort homophobic joke when he wanted to talk about Tommy and Abby.

Eddie has been crumbling since season 7, and I’ve been hating what they’ve done to his character’s storyline, but to hear him talk to or about Buck sometimes, I wonder if he knows or likes him much.

Buck is lashing out, sure. Saying things he shouldn’t. But this is his family. His family who knows damn well he has bad abandonment issues, who has seen him struggle with his self esteem for years, but they don’t think to look past what he’s saying to the meaning behind it?

I relate to Buck. And I know Buck’s been a favorite of mine now since season 4, but I never realized that I related to him so much. Because I too am used to people thinking they know me more than I know myself. That they know my intentions better than me. I’ve never felt so seen and I’ve never felt so mad to see him getting brushed off by anyone and everyone around him.

I’ve run out of steam, but I’m just gonna say. I need this narrative to start changing. Buck is an adult. Not only that, he’s a 33 year old man who has gone through therapy and life altering realizations about himself and his past to discover the root of his abandonment issues and openly acknowledges that he has them. It doesn’t take any genius to see he lacks some perception of his own worth.

Yet people continue to refuse to give him any grace.

The 118 really pulled together in the last episode as a family. I really need them to pull together to rally for Buck because he’s floundering. And also, someone smack Eddie across the head.

[mokulule]

Take Out for Dummies - Part 2

Ship: Dead on Main Previous | Masterpost Note: So I was planning on sitting on this until I was about done with part 3, but then @yeetyeetedyote, who tumblr doesn't allow me to tag, did a meme for part 1 and I couldn't help but post it. So hope you enjoy. Jason did not know what to wear. It was Red Hood who had a date, but going in his full uniform seemed very excessive somehow. But there was also no way he was going unarmed. He pondered his closet with a frown. What clothing did he even own that were suitable for a date? He’d never had to ponder this before. What level of formality was expected? Probably not formal, considering there would be no dinner. Also he was Red Hood, there was no way he’d do formal, he had an aesthetic.

He finally settled on jeans, a red henley and the brown leather jacket he used as Red Hood. He held up the jacket and inspected it critically for blood spatters, that at least he felt certain wasn’t appropriate.

One hour later saw Red Hood rolling up to the curb in front of the building. Only one person was leaning against the brick wall there, absorbed in their phone; it had to be Danny. The rest of the people there were just walking past. It was Crime Alley, Red Hood barely got a glance of interest. Gotta love Gothamites.

Jason had not been able to really get good visual on Danny in the dark, aside from the fact that he was rather short and had dark hair, the night vision in his helmet could only do so much. He had not been prepared for how he looked up and the wide blue eyes crinkled as he smiled. Nor the way the button down shirt and the jeans hugged close to broad shoulders and slim waist in a way the hoodie he’d worn previously had clearly not.

Somehow in all his musings about how this would go Jason had never considered the possibility that Danny would be hot.

“Hi,” Danny said still smiling as he came up to him. He raised his arms out from his sides a bit helplessly before letting them fall back. “So how do you want me?”

Jason’s brain screeched to a halt as those words brought a decidedly not appropriate image to his head. He was so glad he was wearing his helmet right now. Jason must have stiffened or given away his embarrassment some other way, because Danny’s cheeks flushed as he too realized how his question could have been understood.

“I meant on your bike.”Jason hunched over, shoulders shaking with barely suppressed laughter. Because that was not helping at all.

Wordlessly Jason held out the extra helmet. Danny took it gratefully and stuffed it over his red face.

“Front.” Jason said over the radio connection between the helmets.

Jason had to give Danny a hand to get him situated in front. He had to hold on near the center of handlebars and he didn’t really have good place to place his feet and had to hold them curled up.

It was neither safe nor legal, but Jason was not about to have a potential assassin at his back and besides who was gonna arrest Red Hood for traffic violations? The small hitched gasp when Jason curled around Danny’s back to reach the handlebars had his lips quirking up, and he might have pressed him just a bit further forward just for that.

“Where to?”

“Sommerset.”Jason raised an eyebrow at that as he kicked off the curb. Carefully, as he got a feeling for the different weight distribution, he drove them in the direction of the Trigate Bridge.

“If a tour of Old Arkham is your idea of a date, I think I’m gonna have to shoot you.”

Danny scoffed.

“I promised you fun, didn’t I?”

At Jason’s lack of response, he slumped further.

“There’s a traveling carnival on the fair grounds at the edge of town.”

“Huh.” Jason was trying to think of a time he’d actually visited a carnival as a visitor and not a vigilante to stop some villain plot. He was coming up short. There was a feeling in his chest he had a hard time identifying, an uncertain thing, but it wasn’t bad. If nothing else he was gonna have an experience? Oo o oO

They parked the bike in the attached gravel parking lot near the fair grounds. Jason had to step off the bike first and then promptly had to catch Danny as his legs refused to carry him when he stepped off the bike.

“Oh wow, my legs fell asleep there.” He laughed and stepped away on wobbly legs as he pulled the helmet off. He handed it to Jason who put it into its compartment.

He took another wobbly step forward and Jason couldn’t help the way he reached for him to steady him. Instead Danny grabbed his hand firmly. Jason was baffled at the action looking from Danny to their hands, uncertain how to react, but Danny just smiled and changed his hold so their fingers were twined together.

He looked mightily satisfied about it too as he tugged Jason forward toward the fair grounds. A fair bit of the rides were visible because of their heights and Jason could easily imagine how the place would light up with multicolored lights once evening came.

Once they entered the fair grounds they drew quite a lot of attention. Lots of people stopped and pointed at Red Hood and his companion. Phones were pointed in their direction and Jason found himself tensing.

Danny leaned closer and spoke lowly, “Don’t worry, nobody will believe them. Regular digital cameras are odd around me, so they won’t get usable footage.”

Jason’s mind raced, what did that mean? Did he have some sort of jammer? Was it a meta ability? Was it related to his ability to sneak up on vigilantes on Gotham rooftops?

“And,” Danny continued, “if anyone asks, we can always say you’re a cosplayer.”

Jason grimaced. Danny slapped his chest as if he could see right through the mask.

“Hey! Cosplay is a great creative hobby.”

“That’s not- I’m a former crime lord. I don’t understand why anyone would dress up as me.”

“Pffft, don’t sell yourself short. Also you have a cool recognizable thing going on with the helmet. It will be especially funny if someone critiques it for not being accurate.”

Jason couldn’t help his chuckle at how gleeful Danny looked at the prospect.

“This is the real reason you want me to claim I’m cosplaying?”

“It would be so funny, admit it!”

Jason huffed. It would be pretty funny.

“Ha! I’ll take that as a yes. Okay, time to show off some of those shooting skills and win me a plushie.” With that statement Danny pointed towards a game booth with truly ridiculously large unicorn plushies hanging from it and tugged Jason forward. It was only at that moment he remembered they were still holding hands. It was…

It was nice.

Danny glanced back at him and he was smiling, warm and excited. Jason didn’t remember the last time someone had smiled that much at him. Jason found himself smiling back, and he was suddenly grateful he couldn’t be seen behind the helmet.

The shooting booth operator eyed Red Hood warily until Danny broke the tension in a voice that carried, “my friend’s cosplay is pretty awesome right?”

The operator’s shoulders fell and he chuckled, “pretty brave of him to wear that this close to Gotham proper.”

“Sure is! But not to worry if there’s any trouble I will protect him,” Danny said seriously, with a glance and a wink at Jason.

The man took in Danny’s skinny and less than imposing appearance and burst out laughing, and just like that any remaining tension was gone.

The operator explained the game. There were different tiers with bottles lined up on shelves and flat rings of different widths balancing on top. You got points if you knocked the ring down over the bottle neck. The slimmer rings offered more points.

It was a pretty simple game.

Danny put down cash for the game and looked at Jason expectantly. “Show us some of that Red Hood skill.”

The operator chuckled. Jason rolled his eyes and stepped up.

Immediately, as he picked up the air gun it felt clunky in his hand. It was sharp-edged where it should be smooth and was weighted all wrong especially with the pressure cable attached to it, but that was not going to stop him. He loaded it with one of the five cork stoppers the operator handed him. He seemed to be enjoying Danny’s teasing as much as Danny himself.

Out the corner of his vision he saw Danny lean forward expectantly as he took aim.

He pulled the trigger.

The cork stopper was ejected with a loud pop and promptly hit the edge of a shelf bouncing backwards to land on the floor where it rolled around three times before stopping.

Danny looked at him wide eyed before bursting out in helpless snickers. Jason shoved him in revenge, but he couldn’t help smiling. There was just something refreshing about how despite knowing he was the real Red Hood he was so completely unafraid of him. Not even his family was that relaxed around him.

He didn’t want to bring his mood down contemplating that, so he reloaded the clunky gun and took aim again. He considered the points on the rings and the available prize tiers. Four shots left, with a bit of luck he could still do decently.

Aiming higher and slightly more to the right of how he would aim a real gun he shot the first maximum point ring down around the bottle neck. Three more fell in rapid succession.

Danny cheered, pumping his fist in the air.

“That’s four hundred points, that gives you the choice of a large prize,” the operator said impressed.

He pointed at a large unicorn plush, it wasn’t quite the extra large ones that hung on the outside of the stall, those required cumulative points from at least two games, but it was still a very decent size.

Danny was the very opposite of disappointed when Jason handed it over. He squished it in his arms and absolutely beamed up at Jason. Jason looked away, embarrassed for feeling so satisfied and warm just for winning a silly game.

The operator snorted giving them a knowing look. “Have a nice evening boys.”

“You too,” Danny replied, sidling up close and entwining their fingers again as he pulled them away and off towards the various rides.

Jason eyed their once more joined hands in bemusement, not really sure what to think, but he’d already allowed it once. It sold the appearance of a date, made it all the more likely to the bystanders that Jason was just some cosplayer with a death wish, so it was smart to keep holding hands. And Jason found himself reluctant to give it up.

It was an easy illusion to give into.

He squeezed Danny’s hands and he turned his head to look at him, smiling like this was a real date and not one of his odd jobs. Jason nodded towards the bumper cars and Danny’s grin turned into feral delight as he dragged him in the new direction. It was so easy to pretend Jason was just here to have fun with a friend who was maybe just a bit more.

That was something he could have had maybe. If he hadn’t been Robin. If he hadn’t died and come back wrong. If he wasn’t a former crime lord just trying to find his footing with a family he wasn’t sure wanted him and not just the dead boy he’d been.

But for just a little while he could pretend.

Until Danny turned out to actually know he was supposed to kill him, until everything crashed and burned like usual, he could allow himself a little fun.

Like ignoring every sign saying the bumper cars were not meant for driving into each other. The bored teen operator certainly didn’t care to uphold that rule. The bumper car ride was a war zone, a giant free for all and yet Jason managed to have only eyes for Danny. He was a tricky driver to catch. Jason had no idea how he managed to maneuver the car like that, it was verging on supernatural.

They were both laughing when they exited their cars after Jason had finally managed to bump into him proper instead of the earlier glancing blows.

“Remind me to call you if I ever need a getaway driver.”

Danny snorted knocking their shoulders together. “Only if I get part of the cut.”

I’ll give you more than a cut, Jason was about to say, but thankfully didn’t. Because what did that even mean? Instead he knocked his shoulder back.

They continued on towards another ride, a small rollercoaster, and as they queued Danny started telling him about how his dad’s driving was so infamous in his hometown that the local news included a segment to warn for it when he was on the roads. Because of that nobody had wanted to give Danny driving lessons and that’s why technically he didn’t have a license, but he’d once landed a space shuttle, so that should count for something. The story verged on so impossible it had to be true, but Jason was sure if a civilian had actually landed a space shuttle it would have been all over the news or at least known among superheroes - it was entertaining nonetheless.

Jason wasn’t sure when they’d started holding hands again only noted the absence when Danny left him by a bench several rides later with stern instructions to protect the princess with his life, aka the unicorn plushie.

The lights had flickered on a while ago and bathed the darkening grounds in multicolored lights. Jason leaned back relaxing against the bench. Taking in the lights and the happy atmosphere as people passed him by. There were a few people who pointed and snickered as they walked by, but clearly the unicorn plushie was just as good as Danny to convince people he was just a guy in a costume.

“It’s a pretty good costume.”

Jason turned his head to find a man with a superman shirt had stopped. He stayed silent waiting for him to elaborate. He obviously wanted to, there was something in his drawl.

“The casual look is pretty well put together while remaining recognizably Red Hood.”

“But-“ somehow there was a but- “if you were actually from Gotham you’d know that the real helmet is matte and the brow section is more slanted giving it an angrier expression.”

Jason stared incredulously at the man in the Superman shirt accusing him of not being a Gothamite. Never mind the helmet thing, that was just ridiculous but accusing him of not being a Gothamite, now that was an insult he wouldn’t be taking. Jason stood up to his full six feet and saw the way the man shrunk as he realized he might have made a mistake.

“There you are, babe,” Danny inserted himself smoothly into the situation snaking an arm around his waist and pressing close. It was distracting. “Come on let’s blow this popsicle stand.”

Jason snorted as he let Danny move them forward. He didn’t need the intervention, he wouldn’t have attacked the man or anything.

He couldn’t help but pull them to a stop however as they passed him.

“Your information is outdated, this is the current helmet.” He spoke lowly and ominously only made more ominous by the voice modulation.

The man eep’ed and scrambled to get away.

They watched him go with no small bit of amusement.

“I thought we agreed to keep it on the down low.”

Jason shrugged, “he asked for it, besides you said it yourself, nobody will believe him.”

“Alright then.” Danny left the place beneath Jason’s arm, he had only a moment to feel bereft however until his hand was grabbed again and pulled in the direction of the parking lot. “Speaking of proof, do you mind me taking a selfie of us so I can prove I took you out?”

Jason frowned. “I thought you said cameras didn’t work around you.” “They don’t, I’ve had to modify it to be able to take any pictures.”

“You gonna tell me what kind of meta ability you have?”

Danny chuckled. He pulled their joined hands up and pressed a kiss to Jason’s scarred knuckles. Jason was so distracted by the action he almost didn’t hear the, “I like you Hood, but that isn’t a first date conversation.”

There was a pause in their conversation as Jason contemplated the absurd idea of there ever being a second date, the fact that this one was nearly over and how he’d actually had a lot of fun.

“So, selfie?”

“Uh sure.”

Danny juggled the white plastic bag that Jason only noticed now onehanded as he pulled out his phone. It was a broad phone with actual buttons and Jason would believe it was modified alright. Danny smiled and leaned close as he raised his hand, a small flash went off and Danny looked the picture over in satisfaction.

“What’s with the bag?”

“Huh, oh this is food. Our next stop, if you’re still willing, is the ice rink, but I figured we could take a break on the roof and eat back to back or something, what with the whole-” he indicated the helmet by waving a hand in front of his face.

So it wasn’t over yet. Not if Jason wanted to continue. It was an easy out, Jason could just chose to drive Danny to wherever he wanted to be dropped off and he could go home and still make it easily in time for patrol - or he could prolong the evening.

Jason popped open the compartment under the seat of his bike and took the warm bag of food from Danny to put in as he considered. Danny had already put on the extra helmet.

“Okay.”

“Okay?”

Jason could practically hear the smile in his voice even if he couldn’t see it through the opaque helmet.

“Okay,” he confirmed.

The small fist pump was kinda adorable. So first part of the date, it was getting a bit long so I cut it in two, but hey that's the only reason I could even upload it. Jason is in trouble, he's just not quite realizing it yet XD I enjoy hearing your thoughts on the story, so please continue to share <3

Subscribe to the masterpost here Next

[ganxiously]

Okay a lot of you keep worrying about the future and that is just unvibing my vibe over here. So we are just going to go over a few things right now so that the collective panic doesn't boil over sometime soon -

Tommy gets reintroduced in 8.11 and not directly during the two-parter - As I have said earlier in this post, for the reconciliation to seem believable, they need to show us the story on both sides. Buck's view is okay if he's moving on but if they're getting back together, they need to show us what Tommy is feeling. And they need to show us both of them want to get back together. Which is exactly what the show has done.

Tommy having screentime in an episode other than the two-parter - Don't know about you but if Tommy was going to leave, they just wouldn't have bothered with this hook-up plot. Even if you argue that it might have been a treat to appease the fans, the backlash would now be even greater than what happened after 8.06. ABC would be very rightfully accused of deliberately messing with the fans. So if he was going to leave, his appearance would have been akin to Abby's - a brief sighting during the emergency and then a final scene of resolution.

The context of the fight - I know a lot of you don't like what they have done but this is literally killing two birds with one stone. Now this isn't Breaking Bad or something of that level so you can't expect too much from them but you have to understand that the only reason they would ever try to 'close the door' on Buddie would be if Buck's endgame was in sight and they don't want anything from the fandom threatening it. If Buck was still going to be on the hamster wheel, they would have had Buck be vague and hesitant so as to keep the ship around as a future possibility. Which they could then use to bait the fans in order to drive up engagement for upcoming seasons. (if you think buddie has a chance, take a look at this post of mine)

They are adding more and more meat to Tommy's character - I had said a long time ago that season 8 was going to turn Tommy into everyone's little meow meow. It didn't pan out in 8a but here we are finally in 8b. Tommy before yesterday was this cool, sarcastic guy who was maybe a bit jealous of the 118 and he clearly cared about Buck but not enough to risk his heart. One could also say he was a bit biphobic. Today Tommy is a lonely 40-year old gay guy who was at a bar alone so he probably doesn't have any friends. What friends he made in 118, dropped him after the break up. He is deeply insecure and has probably zero self-worth so much so that he spent six months expecting that his bf would leave him any day for his best friend. And he loves Buck so fucking much that he was ready to try again and take what he could until someone better or Eddie arrived. After all that I dare you to tell me this episode was not specifically intended for us to become ride or die for Tommy. The audience is no longer hoping for Buck's happiness but also Tommy's and that would be a dumb thing to encourage after all the complaints filed against the show with ABC.

Eddie is coming back and will need his house - So far there is no reason to believe Eddie is going to leave permanently so assuming he's coming back with Christopher, he will want his house back. It would look pretty idiotic to have Buck stay in that house and give Eddie a new one. More idiotic would be to have Buck move into a new bachelor pad because then what was the fucking point when you already had a set built of his previous apartment. Add in even more idiocy and you would expect them to be roommates but the house doesn't have anymore spare rooms so is Buck going to stay on the couch and sell off all his stuff? The only narratively logical choice is either Buck moves back to his own loft which would be so weird like was it just sitting empty and then where is the life altering change that was supposed to happen or solving every problem out there, he moves in with Tommy.

The narrative in the show itself - I am begging you to forget for a minute that buddie as a ship, the buddie fandom and the journalists exist and that you are being 24/7 bombarded by their opinions. You need to forget all of that and judge the story for itself and you'll see that things aren't as hopeless as you are expecting it to be.

Ps: There are also people who think that the buddie thing will cast a permanent shadow on BuckTommy and for them, I'd like to again point out that had this been a real issue, Eddie would have been here. The fact that they're doing this when he's not is because this is a Tommy issue. Tell me you have never been insecure about something that you don't fully believe in and merely clung onto as a scapegoat. The person Tommy is insecure about is himself but the fact that he is not enough just because he is himself is too painful so what is the next best thing? Making himself believe that of course he is could never be enough, not when Eddie is there, who has history with Buck and can offer him a readymade family. Trust me when I say if Eddie had not been in the equation, there would have been some unknown person to bear that brunt.

So yeah while there is like a 10% chance that Tim will do something crazy, logically there is only one direction everything seems to be pointing to. Hope this helps and thank you for coming to my Ted talk.

[generalluxun]

MLS6 Sublimation

An analysis of Marinette's behavior/reactions (by request) Salt-Free.

This post is in response to an ask, because tumblr ate that reply and posts save drafts!

The ask was in regards to my statement in another post that Marinette's actions were a 'control' move, asking me to clarify what that meant. I'm going to break it down here, referencing (but not quoting I do not have transcripts) on screen statements and behaviors

The goal is explaining, not vilifying.

I don't blame anyone for missing some of this, the messaging was very muddled in this episode and you could easily lose things in Marinette's breakneck word-vomit as well as some mixed messaging later in the episode.

You can break down Marinette's behavior re:Sublime like this:

Motivation:Fear

Response:Control

Tool:Friendship.

Early on we establish that Marinette is afraid. She's 'not jealous'(she claims) but she very much is catastrophizing. She envisions Adrien liking Sublime better than her and deciding to go out with her. We'll put a pin in this for later but for our purposes now this admits her emotion: She is afraid.

Her response to this fear is an attempt to gain a level of control over the situation. If she has control, she doesn't need to be afraid!(She thinks) She goes right back into her (worst) habits of the previous seasons. She gathers intel, follows/stalks/spies on people, and forms elaborate plans.

All of these are bent to trying to befriend Sublime- but friendship isn't the real motivation, just the tool. I have no doubt Marinette would like to be friends with Sublime bit in this instance that is not *why* she is going to these lengths. Marinette believes if she is Sublime's friend that somehow she(Sublime) won't want to date Adrien, or maybe just that Marinette could spot anything forming and head it off. -She will have more control.

And that's it really. I'm not going to dig into Marinette's specific behaviors as I think they were done 'for the show' you *could* make the final talk with Sublime into being a control move too (guilt/pity so that Sublime would feel bad 'stealing' Adrien) but I think that was more about shoehorning in a 'lesson' while not wanting to address the lesson set up at the start(for unknown reasons)

Now I am going to get into *why* what Marinette is doing is actually worse than what she has done before. If you can't stomach even a well intentioned critique of our protagonist, this is your warning.

In Sublimation Marinette is treating Adrien as an *object*. From the very beginning her fear discounts his agency. Marinette us afraid Sublime will be better and so Adrien will leave. It's 1+1 to her.

The fact that Adrien has openly and repeatedly professed his love for her doesn't seem to weigh for anything. Are we to assume her own love is so mercenary? If someone just slightly 'better' than Adrien came along, would she jump ship? I'd like to think not.

Now, this is a common (and very tired) romance trope, but it is one that needs to die, and it feeds poorly into Marinette's other behaviors. It also shows a regression. It was one thing to worry that an Adrien who she wasn't dating, who hadn't told her he loved her, might be wooed by someone else amazing(Kagami). It is something else entirely to consider him fickle and a mere creature to be dazzled by a new and shiny thing.

Her approach -inserting herself into Adrien's friendship- also disregards his autonomy. Her little 'my future friends' speech might seem cute, but with the knowledge of her fear and the lengths she goes to, it is clear- Adrien can't have female friends who Marinette doesn't have an eye on.

A healthy response is to wait to be introduced. It is good to have friends who are 'yours' outside of who you are in a relationship. Each party should know people who are not beholden to the other.

If she couldn't wait(which we will allow for, anxiety exists) ask to be introduced. Keeping Adrien in the loop and letting him have agency in the hows, whens, and ifs of things is still reasonably reapectful.

Going behind his back to forge a connection without his involvement and 'usurp' the friendship is is just flatly unhealthy. Yes Adrien makes light of it, but this is the abused boy who has been told the person who abused him was a hero. His ideas about autonomy and self-worth are a bit sketchy at the moment.

This is not all to say Marinette is a 'bad person'. It *is* to say what she is doing here is bad, top to bottom. Marinette behaved terribly in this episode. Do not do anything remotely resembling what she did. Do not take away any of her justifications as valid. They are the same logic that an alcoholic uses to say 'Just one won't hurt'.

Here's to hoping this particular arc of Marinette's journey ends quickly. It feels like a real step back for her.

[bnhaobservation]

How much to me does AFO’s writing not make sense?

This was created due to an ask I received which is basically the title of the post. Originally I just meant to answer the ask but as this got too long I decided to make a post just for it. I hope it’s okay.

It feels bad to say so but the problem with AFO (and Yoichi) is that their writing mostly doesn’t make sense, it feels as if the author continues ask for suspension of disbelief, retcon himself or tell us things he doesn’t show in the story. All this for the purpose of a plot that wasn’t planned in advance but that he just seems to improvise and to create supposedly saint/martyr Yoichi and an evil monster AFO that he’ll pointlessly destroy at the last minute to claim he’s not a monster but a lonely man.

In case someone missed the hint this is going to be a very critical post, so if you don’t feel like reading further the back button is your best friend.

Now... I’ll list all that doesn’t work for me.

Mind you, if it were fewer things I would have probably been fine with retcons, suspension of disbelief, things told and not shown and so on because in a manga you are often supposed to give the author a bit of all of the above. Maybe, if I tried HARD, I could make sense of some of the following things.

I’m also not checking the Japanese text to see if something is unclear due to mistranslation and, as this post is LONG, I won’t dig into details too much. Plus, AFO isn’t what I usually focus about so I might have missed something that, eventually, the text explained somewhere.

My problem with AFO is it’s just TOO MUCH that feels like not making sense that I lose interest in him. It breaks my suspension of disbelief, it makes me think it’s not worth the effort because… it’s random Quirk magic and retcons and what else and everything goes and I should repeat the MST3K Mantra (some details in the story don’t need to make sense because they ultimately don’t matter) but here we aren’t talking of ‘some details’, we’re talking of world-building and a main antagonist backstory and a main antagonist action and characterization. As I said, it’s just TOO MUCH.

Now, before we start let me explain what I mean about ‘random Quirk magic’.

Quirks don’t exist so, of course, it’s up to Horikoshi to make them up and also make up the rules for how they work and so far so good. Only, through the story, not only he makes up some really unbelievable Quirks that defy the rules of the world and therefore challenge our suspension of disbelief (Iida runs fast because HE HAS ENJINES IN HIS LEGS? Mechanical parts? What the fire Quirk users burn to make fire? Without fuel a fire won’t burn!), but he also makes up the rules at random, retconning them or adding them in a way that suit the plot to solve a problem he created previously or to surprise the audience. It’s the problem of Recovery Girl’s Quirk which first heals Midoriya in a second without a care for how he’s low on stamina or how his bones needs to be set and without leaving scars behind and then it gets all those new rules because the author doesn’t want healing to come so cheap. It’s the case of OFA who gives Midoriya access to the Quirks of the previous owners but didn’t do so for All Might. It’s the case of Shinsou’s Quirk which couldn’t make people talk but then it could (because Shinsou trained). It’s the case of Shigaraki’s Quirk that normally turns people to dust but somehow didn’t manage to affect his family’s hands. It’s the case of Eri whose horn inflates and deflates when the plot says so and works even if there’s no owner telling it to heal. And it’s the case of so many other instances.

The fact that new rules are added, usually AFTER a problem arises, makes impossible predict where the story will go because rules are changed along the way so that Quirks can do things they previously couldn’t do… but this ends up feeling often a plot contrivance more than an exciting surprise, it feels unnatural, it breaks the suspension of disbelief and ends up destroying the sakes of the story. In short it’s not that the author can’t add new rules… it’s just it causes more damage than good to the plot. It’s not a problem that regards just AFO (you might notice how he’s absent in the examples I mentioned above), this is a story problem but, as AFO is a victim of this as well, I thought worth to explain it.

I want to be clear, ‘Random Quirk magic’ doesn’t have to make sense because Quirks are fictional so we already know it’s going to feel absurd and that something we’ve to accept as basis of the story and therefore we should suspend our disbelief… the problem is that when things go too overboard even suspending our disbelief on something we already knew from the start was fictional becomes hard.

This isn’t a surreal manga where everything goes, we need to feel the story has some realistic basis even in its fictional elements, that it respects some laws… and the story doesn’t and that’s a flaw in writing, one that some readers might be willing to give a pass to due to the rule of cool and that others might not. It’s very personal.

AS FAR AS I’M INVOLVED, in many circumstances Horikoshi manages to break my suspension of disbelief because it goes too overboard. For others it might be fine. Just keep this in mind when you’ll hear me talk about ‘random Quirk magic’.

So let’s start by splitting it in parts.

PART 1: THE WORLDBUILDING

So right from the start we were told:

the first person who manifested a Quirk was the Luminescent baby born in China

that a person would normally manifest their Quirk if not at birth like the Luminescent baby, at least by the age of 4.

that in the early days of the paranormal they figured out that if someone is without a joint in the pinky toe, he’s someone with a Quirk

Lastly, the Quirk one would get is either inherited by one of their parents or a combination of both. [Chap. 1]

Why this choice?

The Luminescent baby is a good choice to make immediately obvious someone is born different without, at the same time, going overboard with how different that new baby is (I mean, he’s just luminescent, which is clearly not normal but not scary, yet he doesn’t have a fish head so that his look would scare people).

The age of 4 limit is to explain why Midoriya’s mother worried about him not having developed a Quirk while Midoriya is at preschool.

The toe thing is to make definitive the fact Midoriya is Quirkless.

The inheritance makes logical sense and will become important in the Todoroki plotline but I’m not sure if Horikoshi had planned the Todoroki plotline yet at this point. Maybe. Maybe not. Maybe he has only planned Shouto (prototype Shouto was different from what we got).

ALL THIS WILL BE DISMANTLED/IGNORED IN FUTURE DEVELOPMENTS COURTESY OF THE SHIGARAKI TWINS.

The Luminescent Baby isn’t the first person with a Quirk, two years before his birth the Shigaraki twins’ mother, in Japan, manifested a Quirk. One year before the Luminescent Baby the Shigaraki twins were born and AFO immediately manifested his Quirk. [Chap. 407]

Why this change? AFO had to steal his mother’s Quirk so she needed to have one and he needed to be born first so he could complain the glowing baby was nothing special for just having been the first to be recorded.

Logically this should imply that other people started manifesting a Quirk when the Shigaraki Twins’ mother did and that they somehow were all so tame they didn’t make it to the news (which is less believable, really, I mean, among the people shown first showing Quirks there’s one whose body got on fire! but whatever).

Quirks don’t need to manifest by the time one reaches 4 years for things to be normal. After the Luminescent Baby was born they started to manifest in people going through puberty, not after birth, not before 4 years, something Quirk expert Garaki seemed to be unaware of even though he basically lived through those times. [Chap. 407]

Too bad the Shigaraki Twins’ mother didn’t seem that young but much older, but let’s assume it was due to the life she was doing.

As the cause that gave birth to Quirks is unexplained we can’t even say if those people were born with a Quirk and people didn’t notice because they didn’t manifest it, or going through puberty caused them to mutate.

Why the change? Because when people starts hunting people with Quirks the Shigaraki twins are still children (and if) and Horikoshi didn’t want to show the good people of Japan chasing after kids just because they’ve paranormal abilities... and also because the Shigaraki twins’ mom needed to have a Quirk that appear all of sudden.

The lack of joint in the pick toe? Unimportant in the story. AFO won’t check if his sibling doesn’t have it to see if he has a Quirk or not, at least not AFTER he gave him a Quirk thinking he had none. Considering AFO is mega powerful by the time he gives Yoichi a Quirk, he might have just asked a doctor if Yoichi was Quirkless, especially since Quirks could manifest later in life but no. Yoichi never showed signs he had a Quirk so he must not have it, let’s give him another. Who cares if it might fry his brain should he actually have a Quirk? [Chap. 59]

Quirk inherited from the parents? AFO and Yoichi’s Quirks were clearly not inherited by their mother and I’ve hard time thinking they were inherited by their father as their Quirks seems to be unique. [Chap. 407]

Really, giving the mom a Quirk that’s completely different from them is a bad idea. They should have been born with a Quirk by Quirkless parents and this should have been it... or their mom should have had the same Quirk.

We don’t need for the Shigaraki twins’ Quirks to be a mutation right at the start of things.

(Credits when it’s due, Inko too doesn’t grow confused when her son manifest a Quirk completely different from her or her husband but, I guess, we can make the argument that the joy for her son having a Quirk overwhelmed her so that she might have thought it was a mutation but didn’t care and we know that Quirk wasn’t one her son was born with... but well, no one seems to really pay attention to how odd Midoriya’s Quirk is.)

To sum it up, the Shigaraki Twins have destroyed the world building established in chap. 1. Of course Chap. 1 could have misleading, it completely hid that things weren’t all sunshine and rainbows from the start or better said due to Quirks there was chaos but didn’t clearly explain there were manhunts and discrimination for people with Quirks, it seemed only to imply that Villains emerged.

However it’s not that the text can’t be vague to the point of misleading when it makes sense for it to be (hiding the dark past of Quirk society made sense, same as having Garaki claiming Quirk owners are a new step of human evolution only to discover that in the past they speculate those with Quirk were a sub-branch of humans because now the population normally has a Quirk and they want to see themselves as the better product), it’s when it just rewrites itself at random because plot exigencies changes that things start to be harder to swallow.

Going on.

PART 2: THE KIDS WHILE IN THEIR MOTHER’S WOMB

The text rambles about how AFO stole nutrients from Yoichi when they were sharing their mother’s womb so Yoichi is weak.

Actually the fact that one twin ‘steal’ nutrients from the other is true in real life but... IT’S BAD FOR BOTH TWINS.

It’s the twin-to-twin transfusion syndrome (TTTS) which happens by chance (and so it’s not something AFO decided) and occurs when identical twins share a placenta and blood vessels, but the blood flow between them is not equal so one gets less nutriments than he should and the others gets too many.

About 90% of twins diagnosed with an advanced stage of TTTS very early in pregnancy are at risk of passing away before birth.

In about 85% to 90% of TTTS pregnancies that receive treatment, at least one twin survives.

In about 50% to 65% of TTTS pregnancies that receive treatment, both twins survive.

The Shigaraki twins’ mom received no treatment and she didn’t give birth in a hospital, nor the twins were well cared for after birth. The twins should have both died.

I get Horikoshi never cared about medical accuracy and I get sometimes twins with TTTS both survive but the odds are against him and Yoichi and but I think since Horikoshi doesn’t care about medical accuracy, he would make his life simpler by just not including medical conditions.

BTW Identical twins are two babies who share the same DNA because they develop from a single fertilized egg. They are also known as monozygotic twins. Since the Quirk factor is a genetic thing, this means Yoichi and AFO should have the same Quirk.

Now, generally, in the donor twin (the one that gets less blood aka Yoichi), the consequences might affect the respiratory, urinary, circulatory and gastrointestinal systems (he’s at risk for organ failure) as well as give him brain damage and give him a slower growth. He’ll also suffer malnourishment.

There is however no reason due to which the Quirk factor should be affected by it due to lack of nutrition during its formation to the point it didn’t properly form while all the rest will form just fine. I won’t nag on this too much as Quirk factors are fictional things created by Horikoshi himself so if he says Quirks don’t properly form if they get affected for mysterious reasons well, that’s his canon.

(If you’re curious about AFO, the consequences he should get would affect his circulatory system, specifically his heart, to the point it can lead to heart failure, and damage his brain as well.)

PART 3: BABY AFO AND BABY YOICHI

So, the narrative tries hard to paint AFO as kind of a monster baby and the visual plays along with it (he looks definitely scary). We’re told AFO sucked his mother’s life-force and stole the nutrients from his twin in the womb. Once born he stole his mother’s Quirk and used it to cling to his mother’s corpse as they’re taken away from the current, grabbing Yoichi’s arm as well and taking him away with him. The text claims he was imbued with hubris and disrespect for the others from the moment he was born, viewed all within his reach as his own possession and viewed with utter disgust whose who wouldn’t provide him with anything or would turn away when he cried and screamed.

Now...

About pregnancy: it’s worth to mention it can be an exhausting thing so, we don’t need AFO to deliberately steal his mother’s life-force because he’s an evil child. Being pregnant would have been enough to weakened her and combined with her poor lifestyle it would have killed her. But let’s present it as AFO being an evil baby.

About newborns/babies’ psychology: AFO believing he’s at the center of the universe and not caring for others is basically how babies work. They’re egocentric. They cry and demand their caretaker to take care of all their needs as soon as they feel them. They don’t care if their caretaker is tired, busy or sleeping, they view their needs as priorities. They need to be taught, usually at preschool, that the world isn’t their own and that they can’t hit a classmate to have the toy he has. If the story wanted to say AFO never learnt to share at kindergarten because he didn’t to attend to it, it would have been fine, but if the story tries to pass AFO for an evil baby because, from the start, he didn’t know how to share, how to have empathy... well, the story is ignorant about how babies work. The old movie “Look Who's Talking” does a better job portraying an infant and how it’s normal for him to keep his mother awake all the night because he wants to eat than BNHA does handling infant AFO.

About newborns/babies’ bodies: A baby can hold his head up at around 3 months of age. This means if newborn AFO has tried piercing his mother’s body with his mother’s Quirk, he wasn’t yet strong enough to hold himself still, so instead than piercing his mom he would have ended pushing himself away instead than piercing her. A baby’s grip instead is strong enough if he grips something, this could allow the baby to pull themselves up, so in theory he could have held Yoichi. However baby AFO wasn’t fed and we don’t know for how long they rode their mother’s body while the water moved it and, while a baby can stay awake up to 3 hours, generally it’s recommended they won’t stay awake for more than 1, 1 hour and a half. Honestly, unless it was a rather short trip, I doubt AFO would have managed to hold Yoichi for long, but this will become relevant in a following point. It’s also worth to mention newborns can’t walk or crawl. Most babies start crawling between 7 and 10 months old so AFO couldn’t climb atop his mother and the idea he ended up on it by coincidence feels forced.

About newborns/babies’ intentionality: most of what newborn do is instinctive, involuntary, experimental. We’re however shown AFO as a genius baby or one that’s incredibly mature. I’ll let it slide the whole ‘stealing Quirk’ because even if AFO has a Quirk that needs the intention to steal other Quirks, it could have been unintentional and I’ll focus on how, in order to save himself he managed to climb up on his mother’s body, immediately know how to use a Quirk that wasn’t even his own (and that his mother, the legitimate owner didn’t know how to use) to hold tight to his mother’s body, grab Yoichi without using his Quirk so as not to hurt him because he didn’t want to lose him. As said before newborns tend to have involuntary movements but here it’s all voluntary and planned.

About memory of the time in which one were a newborn: normal people can remember as far as to when they were 3/4 at best, Yoichi remembers his brother holding him as they were on top of their mother’s body. How, is unsaid.

About newborns’ need to be feed: A newborn is fed almost every hour to begin with, to move quickly on being fed each 2 hours. It’s true they can even manage surviving for up to 6 days without feeding... but who’s going to feed them and especially Yoichi who’s weak and needs to be feed even more? The next we’ll see AFO and Yoichi they’re still alone and on their own. Even assuming AFO continued to manage to keep his actions intentional he shouldn’t be able to crawl. How in the world he’s going to retrieve the milk he and his brother need to survive? Yes, theoretically we can imagine they were picked up by someone, feed and then discharged for unknown reasons year after, when they could provide for themselves but in the story there’s no mention of this.

About infections: rats can carry diseases that can be passed to humans, including leptospirosis, hantavirus, and rat-bite fever that can be spread through direct or indirect contact with rodents. Low birth weight neonates are more vulnerable to infections so it’s a miracle Yoichi didn’t catch one by the rats who came close to them... or by just being laid on the dirty ground.

About the twins’ mom and the umbilical cord: if the twins’ mom didn’t know she was pregnant, how did she cut the umbilical cord as she doesn’t seem to have with herself scissors and ends up dying of childbirth? The cord is tough and you need something sharp to cut it, never mentioning it needs to be clamped before being cut otherwise it would put the baby in danger of bleeding out.

I get I’m nitpicking things in AFO’s backstory but Horikoshi created for AFO a backstory that challenges my suspension of disbelief too much and that’s mostly not needed.

AFO (and Yoichi) didn’t need to be born by a prostitute that didn’t even know she was pregnant, would give birth near a river and die, with AFO stealing her Quirk just before rats were to attack them but they would miraculously be swept away by the suddenly flooding river and use their mother’s body like a surf board and then they magically survived by themselves.

It was enough for them to be normal orphans in an orphanage that were chased away from it or escaped after people became aware they had Quirks. This overly dramatic story feels too unreal to me, it breaks my suspension of disbelief

PART 4: THE NARRATION

As AFO’s backstory starts the text is very much oriented in not letting me get sad for AFO and this is part of the problem.

It feels weird how the Shigaraki twins are given a dramatic (and unrealistic) backstory but... the text doesn’t seem to be interested in making us feel sympathy despite the horror they faced, the text is focused on painting AFO as a demonic baby, born to become the future demon lord.

In short it didn’t matter if he had a sad backstory or not, he was born evil and he was going to be an evil adult where Yoichi was born good and was going to be good. There was no hope for him.

Now this sort of story has a dangerous side effect.

If we establish that nature is all that matter to decide the fate of a person, that someone born good like Yoichi would only grow up to be good even in the worst conditions while there was no hope for AFO from the start, then nurture loses its importance.

By this logic it doesn’t matter if Enji abused his family or not, Shouto would have grown up to become a Hero regardless and Touya would have grown up to become a Villain regardless.

Now… while very little is done to change society at the end of the story, the whole Quirk counseling program that supposedly changes how kids are nurtured, seems to be in the story to tell us nurture is important too and that it can make the difference in a person.

Midoriya telling AFO he wasn’t a demon lord but just a lonely person might also imply the text might not be an impartial narrator, that the text is lying (who’s the narrator by the way? In the story we often had as narrator Midoriya and the anime gave the role of the other narrator to Present Mic but what about here? Is it AFO himself?) but this is a story read also by young readers so giving it a lying third person narrator makes the story pointlessly complicate and the fact that Midoriya, who knows ABSOLUTELY NOTHING about AFO and couldn’t figure out Tomura out until he saw his past, would instead understand AFO just because the latter obsesses over Yoichi feel unbelievable.

So more than a thing that doesn’t make sense this is a thing that’s very poorly constructed.

PART 5: CHILDHOOD

The two babies continue to grow and somehow feed themselves and keep themselves clean and warm on their own and even dress up and become children... and AFO is a murderous creepy kid, who kills people who are against people with Quirk and out to murder them but they are letting him be despite thinking he had a Quirk. Because if they had to murder or at least seriously main/beat people with Quirks, said people have to be adults, they draw the line at kids.

Again... it doesn’t make a lot of sense they’re out there aiming to hurt/kill people with Quirks but would let a child with a Quirk be, and even feel bad because they’re leaving him behind.

Even if we want to assume some might draw the line at hurting kids, accepting they’ve a hive mind and would all agree not to hurt them feels hard to swallow. Honestly it seems more that Horikoshi didn’t have them attack AFO so they would look ‘innocent’ when he murders them in cold blood, if we can forget they were out for blood of Quirk people so again, AFO is a evil child.

He’s also an evil child as he apparently has nothing to gain by killing those people who are Quirkless so he can’t even steal their Quirks, here the text seems to imply he’s doing it solely because he sees them with disgust because they don’t help him who’s filled with hubris and disrespect for others from when he was born and so he killed those ‘poor’ guys who were out to kill/beat guys with Quirks. I would have understood it more if Horikoshi were to show him then stealing their money but no, we see nothing of the sort, if he gained something from killing them is up to the readers’ speculation, the message seems to be he’s doing it because

Also, he got himself a cape to dress himself up and seems naked below so as to pull out those stabbing things from his whole body comfortably.

I won’t comment on the fighting style as we see only a panel and it might not give me the right impression of how things are going.

The next time we see AFO beating 6 adults, he might be stealing their Quirk and he... is wrapped in a robe and don’t wear shoes even though Yoichi does.

And I don’t get why dressing him so weirdly especially since he’ll become the guy who dress up all fashionable.

By the way Yoichi seems unable to walk as he seems to crawl. As an adult he could walk and even run but let’s let this slide, the problem is another.

I do get AFO wants to keep Yoichi but if Yoichi can’t walk he’s a liability and there’s no reason why AFO should drag him along when he goes in his murdering rampages or whatever he’s doing there (hopefully stealing Quirks because that’s more useful than murder people because they disgust him).

By the way, good, noble Yoichi, seeing his brother hurt people... hurts him by tossing a tin can to him and only later tells him to stop hurting people.

I would have expected Yoichi to get in between AFO and the people AFO hurt because he’s against hurting in general, but no, Yoichi isn’t for nonviolence, he is like the Heroes, he’s fully in favor of hurting who hurts (yeah, he can’t do much damage but still, he tries).

It’s worth to note Yoichi has normal clothes a sign that no, AFO didn’t have to wrap a cloth around himself because he couldn’t find clothes. Somehow he just felt like not dressing like a normal person which doesn’t make a lot of sense.

On an odd note the Shigaraki twins apparently take residence in the abandoned Shūeisha Jimbocho Building in Chiyoda-ku, Tokyo. I get that’s a fun reference and it makes easier for them to find manga to read but I would have found more logic for them to take up residence in an abandoned hotel, or in an abandoned house/apartment, with beds and bathroom and a place to cook food than in a publishing company building. Since they only needed to read ONE manga for the story to work, they could have found it elsewhere.

Meanwhile genius Yoichi self teach himself to read by watching manga... and it doesn’t work like that. While kids can learn to read on their own, they actually need someone to give them instructions on which sound each graphic sign is. If not they can’t magically guess.

It would also be good to know when AFO named Yoichi, since he did so aware of what such kanji meant because he also self taught himself how to read.

Really, the Shigaraki twins needed a caretaker and all this unreal stuff wasn’t needed.

The Shigaraki twins could be just orphans in an orphanage or kids in a poor house, or kids whose parents were killed like Destro’s mother when they’re old enough to know how to read. The lack of a caretaker in their early years makes their story absurd.

By the way, note how AFO comes back covered in blood and Yoichi doesn’t even flinch as he’s busy reading the manga. Shouldn’t he care about the people AFO killed? Nope, this is siblings bonding time but... it’s not that great. Yoichi isn’t someone who gives care to AFO, if anything Yoichi tries to discipline him for murdering people in front of him and thinks deep down his brother cares for him but doesn’t manage to provide/show care for AFO.

The text tells us Yoichi hadn’t given up on his brother, that he thinks his brother’s grip had been gentle, but if his not giving up on his brother is just playing the role of failed morality pet/talking cricket and letting AFO sit near him... well, it’s not much.

If AFO needed salvation back then, before he worsened even more, Yoichi wasn’t there to provide it for him. Garaki was shown giving AFO more care and love than Yoichi.

The end goal is Midoriya tells him he’s a lonely man, but his obsession with Yoichi isn’t really well developed. He just randomly decided Yoichi AND JUST YOICHI is his. AFO will never collect other people the way he does with his brother. Shigaraki, Garaki, his relation with them is more of an utilitarian nature.

(Honestly from the way Horikoshi depicted him, it seems nothing could have saved AFO, I’m complaining because we get told Yoichi can’t give up on him but doesn’t do anything to SHOW IT).

On the other side BNHA often messes up what now fans call ‘talk no jutsu’. The name comes from the Naruto fandom, I didn’t watch Naruto so I don’t know how it played its talks but I watched enough manga/anime (never mentioning I’ve a knowledge of how things work in real life and in books) to know when a talk can be inspiring to change, in real life and in a story.

BNHA tends to have Heroes talk about justice and morals to Villains who COULDN’T CARE LESS about such things. If you want to move and push to change a person, you’ve to stuck the right cords in them, talk to them about what THEY CARE ABOUT AND HOW CHANGE CAN HELP THEM TO GET IT.

If Yoichi’s hope is that by telling AFO enough times that what he’s doing is bad will push him to change well, Yoichi is dumb. Yoichi should have shown him another way to get what AFO wanted, a world that would take care of him.

But this is a story problem as other characters make this mistake and the story doesn’t address it, so I can’t really blame this one on Yoichi.

PART 6: ADULT YEARS BEFORE YOICHI’S DEATH

Chap. 59 tells us AFO brought people together and grew to control the whole Japan, manipulating people into committing wicked acts. One would expect considering the power AFO has he became the new emperor of Japan so he could fully control it but no, it’ll turn out he became a crime lord when it would have been more logic for him to use his power to go and become emperor of Japan in a time in which the government was in chaos due to the meta, there were no Heroes and all that stood against him was a small vigilante group.

And if he really had to be a crime lord I would have expected him to be a crime lord with such important ties in the government, the state would basically be a puppet under him so as to facilitate his wish to have a world that would exist for his sake. This way Heroes and Hero schools wouldn’t have existed and Vigilantes would have been hunted as criminals. He’s a guy who has ‘friends’ in other countries, one would expect him to get the importance of controlling the government to get off with everything he does but no, the government does as he pleases even though he has plenty of people bowing to him.

All Might claims that those AFO bestowed upon new Quirk would end up becoming puppets, unable to bear the new Quirks. It makes no sense that AFO would do this to his followers, as they would become mostly useless and this is not really manipulation this is making people brain dead.

Besides the story should decide what it wants to do with Quirk when they get passed to others.

Shigaraki is just mentally fine with decay and so is Aoyama, Lady Nagant is just mentally fine with multiple Quirks, Spinner isn’t but Central Hospital ‘saves him’, the possessors of OFA died early because they too weren’t fine with OFA.

What’s the rule?

If you get more than 2 Quirks you lose your mind?

With 2 you only face early death?

If you’ll only get one, even if it’s not your own, you’ll be fine provided your body is compatible with it?

Then why not to give his allies only 2 Quirks? Why frying their brain? Are brainless servants so much better than willing servants with a brain?

AFO should have known giving people a Quirk could have downsides, because he risked frying Yoichi’s brain by giving him a Quirk, so he should have been sure this wouldn’t damage him.

By the way All Might say Yoichi opposed to AFO but all Yoichi does is saying he won’t cooperate with him, not that he would have been of any use and again play the role of failed morality pet.

I get in Japan ‘Gaman’ (我慢) which means “enduring the seemingly unbearable with patience and dignity” and is a Japanese term of Zen Buddhist origin is considered a heroic virtue but I’m not Japanese and Yoichi really is shown doing way too little for me to be impressed.

AFO giving him a Quirk that’s basically a power stocking Quirk makes no sense unless he didn’t realize that Yoichi could use it to stock enough power it could hold up against him... had Yoichi done something to collect such power instead than starve himself... I guess Yoichi saw this as a form of resistance too... an useless one.

Yoichi decides not to eat as a form of resisting to his brother that... will only kill him. At this point he could have just committed suicide to make his point. Okay, so maybe he was hoping AFO would magically change. Surely he couldn’t think just telling him ‘no, this is bad’ would affect AFO, could he? Anyway starving himself still feels dumb.

PART 7: WHAT LEADS TO YOICHI’S DEATH

Kudo and his men, who have weak Quirks, somehow manage to barge in AFO’s stronghold and into what’s basically a safe holding Yoichi (Horikoshi doesn’t explain how and more often than not he does so when he too doesn’t know how this happened). Apparently they wanted to kill him but then Kudo decides to save him.

How did they do it and why?

Why would they risk their lives to get to Yoichi and murder him only to make angry AFO? How would Yoichi’s death damage AFO? And how they managed to accomplish such feat since supposedly AFO is already overly powerful? By the way aren’t we also in the middle of chaos between people with Quirk and people without? Shouldn’t this make things even harder?

But whatever, they manage to escape with Yoichi and to hide for two months before AFO tracks them.

Instead than planning a careful operation to retrieve Yoichi, mister smart guy aka AFO goes there alone and causes everyone to escape but, conveniently, Yoichi is the one who’s slowest at doing so. Also conveniently, Kudo is near him, dragging him. Bruce is also slow to escape so he can witness the scene.

AFO is upset Yoichi runs away from him with Kudo and instead than murdering Kudo or using some whip Quirk to retrieve Yoichi as he knew from the start Yoichi didn’t want to be with him and he had to keep him closed in a safe due to this so he should be prepared to Yoichi not wanting to go back, he is SO SURPRISED YOICHI ESCAPES HE MURDERS YOICHI. To regret it a moment later.

PART 8: THE MESS WITH QUIRKS

AFO will retrieve Yoichi’s hand and somehow... checks it for Yoichi’s Quirk. Maybe he wanted the Quirk he gave Yoichi back but sure it’s convenient he does because it turns out he discovers Yoichi has no more the Quirk he gave him.

Instead than assuming there’s another person who, like him, can steal Quirks (again, he should have inherited his Quirk by his father, I doubt it but LOGICALLY this is how it should have gone), we get him rambling about how, according to further examinations he discovered Yoichi had a Quirk HE COULDN’T DETECT (HOW DID HE REALIZE? Did he check Yoichi’s disemboweled foot to see if he lacked a joint in the toe? Or did he realize sooner and still granted him a Quirk risking to fry his brain? We’ll never know.)

Note that AFO was completely capable to steal Hawks mangled Quirk factor but he couldn’t even detect Yoichi’s and therefore couldn’t steal his Quirk.

By the way I also would like to know WHY AFO claims he wondered if he stole Yoichi’s Quirk by mistake. With the Quirks in his mindscape taking the shape of their owners and he and Yoichi somehow remembering what happened short after their birth, never mentioning always him being able to use stolen Quirk a short time after his own birth, he should have known if he stole Yoichi’s Quirk or not.

Anyway Yoichi’s Quirk now was passed to Kudo because Yoichi’s blood was splattered on him and he somehow ingested it... or did it got inside him through the blood splattered on his eyes? We’ll never know but AGAIN surely it was convenient.

Now, let’s go back a little to chap 59 which say that in order to inherit OFA one has to ingest the DNA of the previous owner but also the previous owner should want to pass it.

Is the story telling me Yoichi willed to pass to Kudo a Quirk he didn’t know he had? Or that, even though he refused to use the Quirk AFO stole and gave him, he wanted to give it to Kudo because if he uses a stolen Quirk is bad but if Kudo does it is fine?

I’ll give it a pass to Kudo noticing his body felt off (due to him receiving Yoichi’s Quirk) because All Might said after some hours from receiving his Quirk Midoriya would feel something too so okay, this might fit with the lore.

But now we’re told that the second Quirk Kudo has is a small, seemingly useless one.

This is a problem because All Might said that Yoichi’s Quirk fused with the perfectly normal accumulation Quirk his brother gave him so it shouldn’t be small and useless because it is now fused with a perfectly normal Quirk which yes, might not have accumulated much but is of a normal size combined with one of a smaller one. AFO suggested ‘it was absorbed’ so Yoichi tiny, unformed Quirk, absorbed a normal one and remained tiny and unformed and hey, okay, it’s ‘random Quirk magic’ but it’s one that TO ME, feels too overboard.

And anyway… which sort of machine Kudo, Bruce and Co have which could see it? Quirks are just a new thing in their world and yet they can detect a small Quirk factor? One AFO couldn’t detect? And why would they have created such a machine? Or do they have some sort of machine that analyzes DNA so accurately it can detect Quirk factors? No idea.

PART 9: CREEPY EYES

Maybe it’s meant to be symbolic but... AFO’s eyes can’t reflect anything, the test claiming it’s like they were clouded by thin membranes. And the text doesn’t mention it but they are drawn with no pupils... which would basically make him basically blind. But no, he sees. Guess he went to Italy dressed like a little girl, claiming his name was Gemma in order to meet Padre Pio who, for some reasons, granted him a miracle.

Whatever.

All this is creepy and could be symbolic, it could hint at how he can’t see others reflected in himself (aka he can’t connect to them), but... it has no purpose. It’s just there for the creepy factor.

PART 10: WHAT GOES ON UNTIL ALL MIGHT DEFEATS AFO

AFO kills Kudo but, since he’s in denial, he claims even though he was crying his own were crocodile tears… because he’s so evil. I do wonder if he’s meant to be the narrator of his own past and wants to paint himself as evil as possible. Whatever.

Apparently Kudo felt he was about to die so he passed AFO to Bruce before being murdered and Bruce will pass it to Hikage before being murdered because someone here has a foretelling Quirk. I get that Hikage’s danger sense might have helped but still… it’s convenient how the OFA users all manage to pass their Quirk before AFO could put a stop to them.

Meanwhile AFO, instead than taking Japan’s throne, seems to establish a crime syndicate/cult, despite the world being in too much disarray to stop him and him having already an overwhelming power.

Really, this guy went to China to kill the Luminescent Baby and steal his Quirk, what’s stopping him from killing everyone in the govern?

He murders Nana’s husband but somehow doesn’t kill Kotarou.

Why?

If he wanted to hurt Nana to the point he found out she had a family and targeted it, why not finish the job also killing or at least hunting Kotarou?

Nana thinks she can hide Kotarou’s existence (which AFO should already know if he investigated over her and discovered she had a husband) by erasing him from her family register… even though Kotarou continues to have the same surname and name, they don’t even change how’s written.

Okay, it can work, there are other Shimuras in Japan so if she sent him to Hokkaido claiming he’s a orphan maybe JUST MAYBE AFO won’t track him (you wish, he’ll do it).

AFO doesn’t bother to track Kotarou down immediately though and Nana decides to pass her Quirk to All Might because he wants to be a Hero, even though she continues to be a Hero in active duty and fight AFO and without OFA she should go back on solely having a floating Quirk (let’s me not get started on the ember thing that’s clearly again ‘random Quirk magic’ that feels to overboard as the idea that you pass your Quirk and yet you still retain it to me feels too overboard again and too much of a plot contrivance).

Even though he has played this dance 6 times already, AFO, for mysterious reasons, doesn’t figure out she has passed her Quirk to All Might and, instead than stopping All Might from escaping, focuses on killing her. Then, when it turns out she doesn’t have anymore OFA for again mysterious reasons he doesn’t hunt All Might even though he’s in U.A. high which shouldn’t have been that impenetrable fortress back then. He doesn’t even hunt him when All Might goes in the USA even if All Might was hardly keeping himself hidden and AFO will claim he has friends on the other side and AGAIN, he went to China to kill the glowing baby and he’s desperate to have OFA and therefore Yoichi back. And this makes no sense.

PART 11: ALL MIGHT IS BACK

This part is complicate because it covers many years during which AFO does plenty of things that make no sense so I try to go at it chronologically.

All Might comes back around 33 years before giving OFA to Midoriya, after 5 years spent in the States in which AFO ignored him for mysterious reasons.

AFO is still not ruling Japan despite now having no OFA owner trying to stop him (which doesn’t make sense), but All Might somehow single handedly put an end to plenty of Villain activities, likely many of them related to him, showing he’s clearly more competent and powerful than his predecessors who ended killed off way too early and couldn’t really change the world.

That or AFO very logically hunted the previous OFA owners so they didn’t get much free reign while for unclear reasons, he let All Might free to act (which doesn’t make sense).

Around 7 years after All Might has come back, Enji ends U.A. high and AFO should likely start to notice his longing for power and… does nothing but keep an eye on him, which fine, it can be. I’m pointing it out because I want you to get an idea of his activities… or lack of them and of how times pass by.

Around 6 years after this, possibly early, and therefore around 13 years after All Might is back, AFO tracks down Kotarou and persuade him to have another kid. Meanwhile with Garaki he opens orphanages and grooms kids and copies their Quirk and thanks to all this they find Chisaki Kai and his Overhaul Quirk. They’ll copy it once and break away half of it turning it into the decay Quirk. At an unclear time Chisaki will leave the orphanage without them making a second full copy of his Quirk to give to AFO, WHO COULD HAVE USED IT TO HEAL HIMSELF SHOULD HE GET HURT (which yeah, doesn’t make sense). Why they let Chisaki go (and NO, despite what the fandom says, Chisaki didn’t escape because Touya set the orphanage on fire, Horikoshi himself in the volume version said the fire wasn’t worth worrying about and, anyway, the timeline doesn’t match) is never said. He could have made a fine Nomu or at least an underling but no, he’s let go (so it again doesn’t make sense).

Around 7 years after, Touya’s Quirk starts burning him. It’s a tragedy for Enji and AFO, who was keeping an eye on him could have just taken this chance to offer him a cure or something while under disguise and only later reveal he was behind it but… no, he let the Todoroki family be and content himself to watch which yeah, doesn’t make sense since he’ll claim he was keeping an eye on Enji’s longing for power and wanted to reap from it and this would have been the perfect moment. Maybe that’s because he’s busy stealing Tenko’s Quirk and then… he goes back on watching the Shimura family so no, he would have had time to tamper with the Todoroki too.

Around 5 years after, AFO gives Tenko half of Chisaki’s Quirk and then waits until Tenko decays his whole family and roams in the streets aloe for a while before retrieving him (and yes, decay activating at random is another ‘random Quirk magic’ thing, along with the fact that somehow Tenko’s family’s hands don’t get decayed) and starting to groom him. Meanwhile Shouto had the time to be born, Touya had the time to attack him and AFO still isn’t doing anything with Enji’s longing for power even though this also would be a very good moment to act.

One year after, AFO and Garaki really wish to get their hands on Eraser Head’s Quirk so they wait for him to be asleep at home and jump on him… no, they don’t do this, they wait for him to leave home and jump on him… no, they don’t even do this, they wait for him to face a Villain and when his friend dies and he survives they content themselves with getting their hands on Oboro Shirakumo’s corpse. And don’t even try again to get Aizawa. AFO doesn’t even go to shake his hand with an excuse in order to steal his Quirk. No. They don’t want erasure anymore. The sudden disinterest as well as the lack of more potentially successful approaches to steal Erasure don’t make sense. Anyway Garaki and AFO are busy turning Oboro into the Nomu Kurogiri, which has a working brain but is completely subservient. Despite Kurogiri’s amazing powerful Quirk, they use him as a babysitter for Tenko, now named Tomura, who’s being groomed into killing people so as to become AFO’s heir even though they continue the orphanage project should Tomura fail. The whereabouts of all those orphans are unknown except for one who’ll get adopted by Garaki (Tsubasa) and then will be turned into a Nomu when he was a teen. They ignore the Todoroki kids because I guess AFO is having too much fun just watching Enji’s longing for power to try to put it to some use. I take AFO is secretly a peeping Tom that gets turned on not by peeping at people engaging in sexual activities but by peeping on a man’s longing for power. No, okay, it makes no sense.

Two years after, Garaki is the doctor who tells Midoriya (who is 4) he is Quirkless. They immediately offer the mother a way to fix this like they had done with the Aoyama and… ops, nope. And it makes no sense as they couldn’t know Midoriya was going to be the main character and they could have spared us of this by having a doctor that wasn’t Garaki tell Midoriya he’s Quirkless. But no, let’s involve Garaki for… nothing.

Two years after, Touya goes on Sekoto Peak and waits for his father, Enji doesn’t reach him and for unknown reasons Touya’s Quirk turn on and Touya burns himself but manages to toss himself in a stream. AFO WHO HAS ALWAYS KEPT AN EYE ON ENJI’S LONGING FOR POWER, DESPITE NOT BEING INVOLVED IN TOUYA SETTING HIMSELF ON FIRE, happens to pass by (or he was stalking Touya or he has set a fire alarm on Sekoto Peak) and retrieve a still living Touya before Enji comes, bring him to Garaki and they put him in coma as they try to rebuild him. Because somehow they never managed to get a single healing Quirk despite Garaki working in plenty of hospitals that should attract people with healing Quirks. As for Enji… he let him be. Who cares for his longing for power? I’ve also a post already about how it doesn’t make sense that AFO wasn’t involved in Touya burning himself and his intervention ends up to be so random it’s disappointing so I won’t dig on this too much.

The year after, he grant Aoyama (who is 6) a Quirk. I guess the Aoyamas being rich made their son a most interesting recipient than Midoriya at whom he didn’t offer a Quirk even though Garaki knew he was Quirkless. He then tells them he could explode them if they disobey him but no, it’ll turn out he couldn’t and there’s no reason why he couldn’t since he showed the Aoyamas he could do it by using another person and we know he could do it as he did so with Lady Nagant. There’s also to say the Aoyamas though will be left mostly quiet until their son is 15. I don’t want to say this is senseless, AFO could have been ‘helping’ people so as to collect their help later… it’s just that, combined with how he didn’t grant a Quirk to Midoriya it becomes random bordering on senseless. He couldn’t know he would need a kid to infiltrate in U.A. high because All might would be teaching there unless he were to be able to see the future. The Aoyamas might be rich but not to the point they’re of use. So… it’s not senseless but it’s bad.

Two years after, Touya wakes up from coma. AFO isn’t around (but he’ll talk with Touya through the black screen of a computer) but Touya is in one of Garaki’s orphanages because they had kept up the habit of grooming kids who… I don’t know, they couldn’t have been all turned into Nomu as, at the start, they didn’t even have them, they’re apparently not serving AFO either as they don’t show up ever again (except for Number 6 in Vigilantes) nor they could have killed them all off as it would have been suspicious so… I don’t know what happened to those kids. Considering they let Touya escape so he could go back home and report to his Number 2 Hero father they had kidnapped him and have all the police jump on the orphanage, I’ve no idea what they do with the other kids. After Chisaki, Touya is the second kid who leaves the orphanage with no consequences but while Chisaki had no one and it was unlikely he would report them, Touya was the son of the Number 2 and they very much tried to kidnap him. That’s enough to trigger a police raid. It’s only due to luck that Touya won’t report them. By the way despite all his interest for Enji’s longing for power AFO will continue to ignore him even if now he has let Touya go. So yeah, all this doesn’t make sense. Also, around this time period ( it was few years after they took Tenko in but before he fought All Might) AFO tells Machia to go into hiding because he had a feeling he might end up being defeated by All Might. Because now he sees the future. No, really, if he felt All Might could beat him why not to keep Machia, HIS BODYGUARD, with himself as back up?

The year after All Might FINALLY murders him. Maybe All Might too had enough of AFO’s senseless behavior. Too bad Garaki retrieves AFO’s body and resurrect him. I get people might not have been very focused in guarding a corpse so it’s not senseless he managed to do it but still… it seems too convenient. By the way AFO’s brain is resurrected in a perfectly fine state. Somehow though Garaki, the man who can create Nomu, can’t give him plastic surgery and a pair of eyes and while Oboro/Kurogiri can walk on his own just fine AFO needs a mask to survive. Because it makes so much Darth Vader he just couldn’t pass it.

At this point, and only at this point, Tomura needs to become AFO’s next body, as his current one is ruined. AFO didn’t need a heir before and the whole ‘he needs anger to steal OFA so he needs Tomura anger since he can’t come up with anger on his own’ felt again like ‘random Quirk magic’, something the author made up to excuse how AFO decided to groom Tenko before really needing a new body.

Also, even though Machia should be in hiding supposedly he’s instead around searching Quirks for AFO in a very obvious manner which should have pushed the Heroes to hunt for Machia but no, no one notices except Ashido and Kirishima but they’re not Heroes so they don’t count.

I’ll skip what happens during “Vigilantes” as Furuhashi is a different author and, even if Horikoshi supervised the whole thing, I’ll also give him a pass on how mistakes could have taken place (I considered only the whole Oboro thing because it’s also mentioned in BNHA).

Six years after having been killed, AFO sends Tomura to attack U.A. high as All Might is teaching there. Note he let him be for 6 years even though All Might had been wounded too. But now that All Might has involved Midoriya without AFO knowing it feels the perfect time to attack him. I’ll catch this chance to point out that Tomura wasn’t trained at all to lead men and AFO wanted him to learn through a process of trial and error which yes, it’s dumb. What if Tomura had died there or had been arrested? Yes, AFO could brag about All Might killing Nana’s grandson or jailing him and pick up a spare kid from the orphanage as his next body but, if Tomura needs to be his next body, he doesn’t need to learn how to lead an army nor to get himself in danger, he only needs to get very pissed off at All Might. AFO should get himself busy strengthening his body (so that Garaki can operate him) and encouraging him to hate All Might, not to put him up in danger. After all he has wasted an awful lot of time on Tomura, why not putting it to good use? To continue… what about the other kids? Why not to put them too against All Might? Why not to give them to Tomura as underlings? Many of them aren’t even turned into Nomu as we see that the first Nomu’s DNA came from an adult, not from a kid.

No, AFO let Tomura free to do as he pleases without even trying to direct his actions a bit.

I guess that the idea is he’ll create chaos and will also make a name for AFO’s new body so that AFO will reap what Tomura sow. I won’t really comment on how Tomura’s plans aren’t great because the characters in the story handle them as if they are. The police is totally creeped out by him, the league is famous and people want to join it, Chisaki will want to use the League’s name, Re-Destro sees the League as a problem… it’s just Machia and Garaki who sees them as a nothing, a kid palling around with the dregs of society.

I won’t count this as senseless but it sure isn’t great.

Touya joins the League, Garaki and AFO recognize him and… do nothing. They don’t warn Tomura, AFO does nothing to take advantage of Enji’s longing for power now that he has Touya back, I’ll jump forward but AFO won’t even say he has Touya to Enji when he’ll face him in Kamino. No, he’ll reveal Tomura’s identity to All Might but will keep his mouth shut with Enji despite keeping an eye on his longing for power. Was AFO’s involvement with Touya planned already? Did Horikoshi want to save the info for later, so he could have a second big reveal scene like the one he had in which AFO told All Might Tomura’s identity? Possibly since this is what we get, it’s just it’s execute worse because, as I said, while AFO’s involvement with Tomura was consistent, his involvement with Touya felt random.

And so we get to the ‘Forest training camp’ arc and the ‘Hideout raid’ arc.

The League attacks the camp because they want to send a signal to society as well as steal Bakugou, which Tomura somehow wants to persuade to join them even though Bakugou is clearly unwilling.

During the attack they lend Tomura a Nomu which is then entrusted to Dabi. Yaoyorozu places a transmitter on it. When the League is whisked away by Kurogiri the Nomu is brought into the Nomu factory/Garaki’s spare lab/whatever. Although people blame Touya, he had no chance to check the Nomu for devices… and they probably did as we will be told the warehouse in which he was, was a decoy. So AFO deliberately had the Heroes find it, deliberately he didn’t warn Tomura that the Heroes were on him, deliberately showed up to deal with the Heroes and save Tomura and have a fight with All Might.

I’ll say… it’s not a bad plan. His surprise attack works and could have done even more damage if it wasn’t for Best Jeanist, sending the Nomu at the hideout could have also done more damage if it weren’t because Enji is strong (he’s the one disposing of the most of the Nomus), the League is freed without much damage, if he had retreated with the League using Kurogiri’s Quirk or his own Quirk he could have just came out victor.

I won’t hold it against him the fact he wanted to kill All Might as, even though he was outnumbered, he seemed to be stronger. I mean, beating All Might would have been a big victory. Honestly, even if he lost, this part was good.

It’s chronologically late in his life but it’s meaningful it’s EARLY in the story. AFO, at the start of the story, was making sense. Yeah, he could have used more Nomu and Gigantomachia to insure his victory but arrogance is a fitting flaw for him and, as I said, it did seem like he could make it.

Then he gets jailed straight in Tartarus instead than in one of the jails in which, in Japan, they put people who didn’t undergo a trial. It’s clear since he killed people and he’s not even attempting to deny it, he’ll be sentenced to death. Japan is slow at executing people so it theoretically makes sense he’s not immediately killed off (yeah, many in the fandom think there’s no death sentence in BNHA but it actually there is as we were told Moonfish was an escaped convict on death row).

To be honest, since Horikoshi worsened a lot the conditions of prisons and since AFO is what it is, it would make more sense if they had just executed him and be done with him put since the plot will need him to stay alive, I do get why Horikoshi decided to take advantage of how Japan is slow at carrying on its death sentences.

What doesn’t make sense, but this isn’t an AFO problem but a Tartarus problem, is how he’s kept constantly tied on a chair (because, contrary to what many in the fandom think in the story there are no Quirk cancelling means beyond Chisaki’s bullets and Eraser Head’s Quirk). This isn’t just torture, this is unhealthy as hell… but again Horikoshi doesn’t care about medical accuracy so it does nothing to AFO.

All Might goes to talk with him, claiming with such body AFO could have lived forever instead he wasted everything manipulating, exploiting and toying with people. The problem with All Might’s words is that AFO gained such body EXACTLY because he manipulated, exploited and toyed with people, if he hadn’t he would have probably died of starvation as a baby or, even better, drowned because he wouldn’t have stolen his mother’s Quirk.

Yeah, he got the lifeforce Quirk by a willing Garaki, but Garaki wouldn’t have been willing if AFO hadn’t been who he was.

AFO then claims he chose a successor because All Might stole everything from him. Too bad All Might too should have been able to sniff the lie. All Might, as said before, ruined AFO’s body (killed him) 6 years before, AFO got Tomura way before that and if All Might had checked the fate of Shimura Kotarou he should have known… All Might though seems to believe him, which means he didn’t check and it makes no sense he didn’t check as AFO could have lied when he told him Tomura is Nana’s grandson.

AFO though manages to talk in a way that shows he understands how people work and can manipulate them while, at the same time, managing to look scary.

He won’t get to do much until he somehow also awakens in Tomura’s body because… ‘random Quirk magic’… and now he’s obsessed with retrieving OFA. This is more or less the narrative point in the story in which he stops making sense.

The sudden obsession for OFA, the ‘random Quirk magic’ that allows a copy of him to possess Tomura, the way he does it in such a way that gains him Tomura’s hate and pushes Tomura to fight against him when before Tomura cared for him, the fact when questioned by Shuichi about why they’re leaving behind their comrades he gives an answer that immediately betrays he’s not Tomura and that doesn’t win him any favor in Shuichi’s book where before he was good at manipulating people, all this clashes with the previous AFO.

AFO doesn’t win the loyalty of the league, they remain with him because they’ve no better option, he goes freeing people who aren’t loyal to him from jail but fails to free Kurogiri (because Horikoshi retcons him as not being anymore in Tartarus as he was shown there moments before AFO’s attack) and doesn’t bother freeing his allies from prisons that are clearly less guarded than Tartarus, and the other prisons he attacks.

He doesn’t even bother freeing Kurogiri, whom he needs and for whom he’ll send Shuichi to free him ON THE DAY OF THE BIG ATTACK WHEN THE HEROES WERE ON GUARD or Machia, whom he also need and for whom he’ll also send people to free him ON THE DAY OF THE BIG ATTACK WHEN THE HEROES WERE ON GUARD and that will cause him to lose’s loyalty (which honestly, feels forced because Machia decides to stop being loyal to him when AFO sends people to free him), and this doesn’t make a lot of sense.

We continue with him setting some convicts to hunt Midoriya among which Lady Nagant, to whom he gives a Quirk that conveniently doesn’t damage her brain, and set on her an explosive that turn on should she betray him because he doesn’t trust her… and she confirms he was right in not trusting her because she betrays him… yet he’ll be surprised later on when she’ll get in his way again WHICH DOESN’T MAKE SENSE.

And then we go on with a list of things that don’t make sense but, at this point, I don’t really care anymore.

The moles he places in U.A. high, who remain unused for a way too long time, it seems as if AFO is saving them for when U.A. evacuation procedure will start?

The fact he first seemed fully AFO as he possesses Tomura but when he fights Star and Stripes his identity is unclear because… ‘random Quirk magic’ at play.

How AFO didn’t reinforce his mask so that it wouldn’t break easily even though it’s his most glaring weakness and Horikoshi said they could use Detnerat’s technology.

How AFO didn’t blast Hawks, Tokoyami and Jiro away as he did with the Heroes in Kamino, knocking down even Jeanist who got seriously hurt, but let them gain time until Enji was up and fighting again.

How the Quirks inside him start rebelling to him for a new dose of ‘random Quirk magic’ that previously not even New order accomplished because now they’re sentient and observing the battle and are encouraged by Jiro and Tokoyami’s attempts at resisting him.

How it turns out he doesn’t have hyper regeneration Quirk or a copy of Overhaul’s Quirk (yes, I know, Garaki isn’t there anymore to give them to him but he should have had them FROM BEFORE) so if he gets hurt he doesn’t have a Quirk that can heal him.

How he knows Jin’s dying wish even though he hardly knew Jin.

How he knew Nagant was murdering Heroes for the Hero commission even though they surely didn’t let anyone know about such thing.

How he didn’t manage to say something to gain back Machia’s trust despite being this super good manipulator.

How he steals fierce wings from Hawks instead than just killing him, even if he calls Hawks’ Quirk garbage and the whole thing seems so damaged he can’t use it.

How he goes back on being able to feel anger again.

How his whole body starts to glow (a sign he got the glowing baby’s Quirk but one that doesn’t make sense now as why should he turn on the glowing Quirk?) [Chap. 400]

How when he couldn’t find Stain at Tartarus, he felt Stain might turn against him (because even though he couldn’t get news from outside and was kept in solitary confinement he had to know Stain wasn’t executed or moved in another place like Kurogiri was… oh, wait, did he know Kurogiri was moved? Because apparently not even Horikoshi knew it as moments before the attack he was shown at Tartarus…) so he collected a Quirk specifically against Stain, ‘bloodlet’… as if he could just shop for a Quirk that could work against Stain. I mean, it’s not like such Quirk was common and the idea that AFO conveniently stumbled upon it is yes possible but feels so unlikely it’s unbelievable.

How he supposedly has a Quirk, ‘antigen swap’ that he kept because in this way he wouldn’t let traces of himself. He calls it one of the secrets of his long rule. As if he’d even been discreet.

How Tomura could somehow rather easily refuse to allow AFO’s Quirk activation to teleport him.

How AFO realizes only then how Bakugou resembles Kudou and not before when Tomura targeted him or when they kidnapped him.

And there’s probably more I missed because I do hate the last battle and this list is long enough.

Overall it’a pity because AFO got completely ruined in the final part of the story when before he was cool and scary… a least those are my two cents over him.

Thank you to everyone who managed to read this now and sorry if I missed something or messed up something.

[megamindsupremacy]

So. ive been going through your billy batson tag bc im very normal and super hinged about this kid and you ARE right about Billy growing up the normal way and how that would effect him, but I need us all to consider the opposite: The Magic went "Ah, he's pure of heart bc he is but a lad", and not *letting* him grow up. Billy being immortal but stuck as a kid forever. The realization everyone is going to grow up w/o him. That he is *always* going to be a kid. That could be a very bad time too.

OH MY HEART. you're so right and i'm kissing you on the mouth. okay i need to marinate in this now stand by

so I think it's fairly accepted now that the Wizard chose Billy to be Shazam when he was so young because all of the previous Champions were adults, and that went Badly (see: Black Adam). So obviously, if the adults can do the whole superhero thing, then we should give the role to a kid. But then, to take it a step further: if the adults can't do the superhero thing, then we should make the next Champion stay a kid.

And like, it takes a hot minute for Billy to notice. Say he became CM at 8 - he doesn't know the average rate of growth for a boy. He just thinks he's not getting as tall as quickly as his peers. It's not like there's adult supervision around to go "hello small small child, why are you still small and a child?" I could see him going at least a few years before realizing there might be something wrong. Then it takes him a little bit to figure out what exactly is wrong, and then a little longer to be in denial, before he finally has to come to terms with, yeah, he really is 8 years old for the rest of forever.

I wonder how it affects him, mentally? Because you could go one of two ways: either he stays mentally an 8 year old forever and doesn't mature, although he gains knowledge and experience with time, or he does mentally mature and becomes an adult, just stuck in the body of a child.

For angst reasons, I like the second one, but realistically, the whole reason he's in this mess is because the Wizard wanted someone who was pure of heart to stay pure of heart. Why go through all the trouble to not let him physically age but allow his mind to change? So now we have an eternally "both mentally and physically a child" situation.

I feel like, when you're that young, you can't really... process how devastating that is? He's only a little kid - at that age, you can't even imagine turning 18 yet, much less living out the rest of your life as an adult. He doesn't know what he's lost. So instead of Billy angst, it's outsider POV angst. Everyone is growing old and watching Billy stay the same as always. I imagine he reveals his identity at some point, a while into being Captain Marvel, and they have a Twilight moment of "I'm 8" "....how long have you been 8?" ("no, but actually, we've known you for 12 years, you can't actually be 8. what do you mean 'a wizard did it'."). Everyone is just quietly mourning the person Billy could have become, had he not been chosen to be the Champion of Magic, meanwhile Billy is living out the eternal childhood dream of Superpowers + Adult Body w/o Adult Responsibilities. It's tragic in a way Billy can never comprehend because of what the wizard did to him.

Feel free to add onto this post!

[psychedelic-pebble]

AAAAAH okay so i came across your page a few days ago, and i LOVE LOVE LOVE the way you write for fiddleford. i also saw your recent post about slowing down because life is a little too much right now, so feel free to ignore this, but i'd love to hear other hcs and or more drabbles for fiddleford, nsfw or sfw. he's just so cutie patootie

eek thank you!! writing for Fidds is always so fun, he’s such a silly little goober. i’ve cooked up some headcanons both sfw and nsfw (will be under the cut), so i hope they will do! eat up fellow Fiddleford lovers

Young!Fiddleford HCS!!

Warnings: None for the first half, although there is NSFW content under the cut, so MDNI.

Pairing(s): Young!Fiddleford x Reader

SFW

Fiddleford is generally protective, not to an extreme degree, but he wants to make sure you’re safe and happy. He’s not the confrontational type most of the time but if someone is actively harming you he’d stand up for you.

He loves displaying his affection in somewhat silly ways, and not overly grand gestures. Sure, if it’s a really special day (anniversary, birthday, etc.), he’d make plans and do things with you, but not in an over the top manner.

Like the previous hc, he’d probably take you on smaller dates or more casual things like picnics. Not the type for fancy rich restaurants, not that you’d mind. He has some good spots that make you feel just as loved and appreciated, if not more.

Seeing you do even somewhat domestic tasks warms his heart. Whether you live together or not, seeing you cook him breakfast early in the morning or help you do menial tasks around the house makes him feel all the more connected to you.

That being said, I do think he would be the type to want a long term relationship and future with you. He’d like to spend his life with you and eventually settle down together, maybe buy a nice house somewhere and enjoy each other's company on a day-to-day basis.

He doesn’t like arguing, he‘ll always admit to his faults and hold himself accountable when he’s in the wrong. The last thing he wants is to hurt you, and if he does by accident, the first thing he’s gonna do is try to fix things and make you feel better.

He’s kind of indifferent about PDA, doesn’t mind it, doesn't hate it. He does like it when you hold his hand, although he’d get moderately flustered and have to keep his cool.

NSFW below!! Be warned!

Like I wrote in my other post, he’s likely to be very shy in the bedroom. It’d take a while for him to warm up to it, and he gets flustered embarrassingly easily.

He’s decent at being dominant, although it’d take a bit for him to get good at building up that persona. He wants to do what you like, so he doesn’t risk doing anything that might make you uncomfortable.

He can top if he really tries though, it’d take a couple tries but he’d eventually get decently good at it!

In my humble opinion, I like to think of Fidds as a sub-switch. He doesn’t mind topping, but he’s not the best at it. Asks you a lot if he’s doing okay or if you’re enjoying yourself.

I think he’d really enjoy being a submissive top with a dominant bottom. He’d like being told what to do, especially if you’re ordering him to do it.

Praise kink praise kink praise kink!!!!! Oh my god, call him pretty boy/good boy or anything along those lines and his mind will fizzle out. Tell him he’s doing a good job too.

You have to encourage him to touch you at times. His hands would hover above your waist, desperately craving to grip it but not wanting to hurt you unless you tell him outright that you want him to. Even then, he’d be gentle so as to not rough you up too bad.

If you top him, he gets adorably flustered and embarrassed. Insists that “he should be the one pleasuring you”, and you have to reassure him that this is more than pleasing for you.

He can’t keep quiet for the life of him. Even if you cover his mouth he can’t help the whimpers and whines that escape.

He’s not particularly good at making out, but he enjoys it. Whimpers and swears into your mouth because he can’t help himself.

He covers his face with both hands with an embarrassed groan if you talk dirty to him. It's not that he doesn’t like it, no, he just gets so embarrassingly turned on that he can’t handle it.

[bisonaari]

I don't know if it has been done here before because I don't look around, but I have thoughts about the album and I need to share them with someone or I'm gonna go INSANE

Put your tinfoil hats on for my analysis of everything around People's Champion under the cut (probably people have talked about it and I'm just gonna repeat stuff, be warned)

So I've been a bit insane about People's Champion and I've started to think super hard about the order of the songs. I think, in my opinion, that the songs are arranged to tell the story of his life and career from right after UMK 2023 until now.

Ready To Go: This is where we start. Just post UMK, people didn't fully believe in him yet. I remember people saying "oh yeah sweden is sending someone who already won esc, but we're sending… Jere from Vantaa????". Hence the chorus, where people want to see him fail. But he's ready, he knows that he can do it. He's gonna go through and give his EVERYTHING. The mood of the song is really hopeful, with big intense guitar.

Cha Cha Cha: Do I need to explain this one here? I'm still not over this hahaha, I don't think I'll ever be. But this is where events take a turn for him, hence why it's so early in the album, even though it's his biggest song. Because he has so much to say after Cha Cha Cha happened.

Takavoltti: This is where things start to fuck up. He doesn't want to stay on his butt now that he has achieved celebrity and starts to take on so many, many gigs. A lot of us were worried for his health when we saw how much he was performing during summer 2023. But in the song, he says that he only saw opportunities and he just had to continue to take them. It takes a toll on his body. It starts to hurt, but he goes through it. That mad man. Also a couple of times in the song, people ask him to do stuff. Like a little circus monkey. And he just ends up hurting himself.

Ruoska: The bad comments start to really get to him. In the video, Erika and Käärijä are both dressed and perform as aliens. They've completely been striped of their humanity. They're just gimmicks that you can insult anonymously on the internet. Who cares anyway, they chose this life for themselves. It's their own fault. While the previous song was still a bit on the funny side, this one digs straight into the hardships that they feel. There is no more humour, only pain.

Kot Kot: He's still doing too much. While everyone has gone home, he's still drunk on the dancefloor, trying to reach out for friends who were wiser and left. He's being dragged out of there against his will, because he's so stubborn. Pushing through isn't working anymore, and people around him aren't letting him hurt himself anymore.

Skit: An appointment with a therapist. Käärijä is being cut off CONSTANTLY by the therapist, who can't see Jere as a patient. He sees Käärijä, the star. Even when he's trying to seek help, he isn't listened to. Because he's not human anymore for people at that point.

Autiomaa: Käärijä is breaking down. In the video, the therapist from the skit is taking a picture of him during the appointment. The feeling of loneliness and emptiness is around him all the time, omnipresent, eating him alive. He just wants someone to see him as a person, to listen to him, to help him with the void.

Sex=Money: At that point, you know, might as well. You're not human anymore, who cares. Why not try to get some money selling your ass. Who's gonna care anyway, sex sells and that's what people want to see, right? He made so much money on onlyfans, the press is acting shocked that he would even do that. The song is back to a bit light-hearted. My interpretation would be that he just finds the situation ridiculous, and that's why we're getting humour back in the lyrics!

Bananas: I'm not sure how this one fits in my theory, but we're SO back for humour. Kääriä is getting better. I think that in this one he found resolve to just continue going on. He's annoyed because people still only see him as an object, but he has to go through and live his life. Show must go on.

Huhhuhhei: Quite interesting to put a love song in this timeline in the story. But I think it's because he wants to live in the present, and not in anxieties from the past and the fear of the future. He doesn't know if the person sharing his bed is still gonna be there in the morning, but whatever, it's not important. Tonight, they're his and that's what matters. Thinking of tomorrow isn't gonna bring anything good.

It's Crazy It's Party: He's still stuck in the parties, they're around him all the time. He's still doing a million gigs in Finland and in europe. And just as the song is quite close to Cha Cha Cha, he's back at the beginning, the situation hasn't changed much. But this time, by the end, he goes to the party again, by his own will. And this time, he has people around to party with him.

People's Champion: We're back babes. This song is a love letter to people who love him. This is a great wrap around for this album. He's just remembering how everything went, from the start, until this point. Going through every point and emotion we've been through with him during the album. But in the end, he IS people's champion. He did it. He made it. And even with all the hardships, he's with us, when our hearts all sing together. The last line of this album that isn't a chorus is "Thank you everybody, I love you".

What a journey

So something that you have noticed that I've talked a lot is how people don't recognize Käärijä's humanity. He has been made into a kind of creature of gimmicks. You can ask him everything, you can say everything to his face. Whatever, he's a celebrity, not a person.

And this is where that cover is a GENIUS move.

On the cover, there are NO gimmicks. No bolero, no bowl cut, no bare chest with a tattoo. Just his face. You HAVE to watch his face, there is nothing else to see. You have to watch his emotion being raw, he's crying. This is not a pleasant cover to see. And I know, I've had spotify open on his face all day friday while I was working, it felt awful. But it makes you do something.

You have to acknowledge his humanity. And there's no way around it.

I love Käärijä

[moniibu]

Yan bully/delinquent ordering reader to buy them food (in the earlier days of their "relationship") and finding out that reader bought it for her using her own food money. ;_; feel guilty

*✧･ﾟFEM YANDERE DELINQUENT/BULLY X FEM READER *:･ﾟ✧

based on my previous work

things to watch out for: yandere themes, bullying, normal yandere themes, possessiveness, etc. , the only pronouns being “you”

word count: 2.5k

summary: after selecting you as her main target to pick on and bother, *✧･ﾟFEM YANDERE DELINQUENT/BULLY *:･ﾟ✧ decides to make you get her food, only to find out that she forgot to hand you money to do so.

notes: thank you sm anon for sending me a request, as well as seeing how much you all enjoy *✧･ﾟFEM YANDERE DELINQUENT/BULLY X READER *:･ﾟ✧, this means a lot knowing you all enjoy my work!

reblogging/reposting is appreciated, and like this person right here; if you would like to see something specific about the characters i’ve written about, or any other things you would like to see, just send a request since they ARE OPEN !!

i also haven’t given this character a name yet, so if you have any suggestions, share them in the comments! (she might just remain a copy and paste title for a while tho 😭)

this is a LESBIAN post, so MEN & MEN ALIGNED PEOPLE DNI !!

i hope you all enjoy *✧･ﾟFEM YANDERE DELINQUENT/BULLY X FEM READER *:･ﾟ✧

*✧･ﾟFEM YANDERE DELINQUENT/BULLY *:･ﾟ✧ was having a bad day. she failed two of her tests, got into a argument with her teacher, and had her parents called on her for the third time this week due to her “ill-manners” and “bad temper” since it makes the school look bad. in other words, today was not her day.

her parents were pissed at her. with a wealthy family like hers, image is one of the most important things in the world. her parents hated that she ruined their reputation, and *✧･ﾟFEM YANDERE DELINQUENT/BULLY *:･ﾟ✧ knew she was in for a lecture the minute she walked through her house doors after school was over with.

*✧･ﾟFEM YANDERE DELINQUENT/BULLY *:･ﾟ✧ was pissed, her parents were pissed, her teachers were pissed; everyone she knew was upset with her in some way over something simple. she was upset with herself and everyone around her. like any bully, that meant instead of bettering herself and her actions, *✧･ﾟFEM YANDERE DELINQUENT/BULLY *:･ﾟ✧ was going to take her anger out of other people.

which unfortunately means that *✧･ﾟFEM YANDERE DELINQUENT/BULLY *:･ﾟ✧ is going to be on your back more than she usually is.

*✧･ﾟFEM YANDERE DELINQUENT/BULLY *:･ﾟ✧ was sitting at a table with her so called “friends”, lost in thought. she was fuming with hatred; hatred for her teachers, the principal, and even the other delinquents she hangs out with for being more annoying than usual.

*✧･ﾟFEM YANDERE DELINQUENT/BULLY *:･ﾟ✧ hasn’t been in a good mood since she pushed that redhead into his locker three days ago. she wanted to relive that feeling, to take out her anger on people once again.

looking around, *✧･ﾟFEM YANDERE DELINQUENT/BULLY *:･ﾟ✧ had to think. who could she take it out on? her eyes scanned around, looking for a target. it couldn’t be someone who could potentially make her problems worse by reporting her, and it couldn’t be someone who didn’t care if she did it —because that would be no fun—.

it had to be someone who she knew would hate it. someone who would want her to hurry it up since they had something to lose.

someone like you.

there you were. walking down the sidewalk all bundled up in your cute coat with your earmuffs and wearing the frilly things in your hair that she liked but was too much in denial to admit.

you flipped your hair to get it out of your face, and to *✧･ﾟFEM YANDERE DELINQUENT/BULLY *:･ﾟ✧, it was like time had stopped. your face, your outfit, and just you in general made her breath hitch. she was in awe at your presence.

as she stared at you for a bit longer, her feelings of love and mesmerization were replaced with anger and disgust. how dare you? how dare you make *✧･ﾟFEM YANDERE DELINQUENT/BULLY *:･ﾟ✧ feel this way?

how dare you for making her feel all fuzzy. damn you for making her feel jittery with butterflies. she hated that you were making her feel different from her usual cold-hearted and annoyed attitude.

you were obviously in a hurry for something, which made *✧･ﾟFEM YANDERE DELINQUENT/BULLY *:･ﾟ✧ smirk in amusement. she looked at you realizing that she could make you do whatever she wants. she has both the money and the connections so that there is no other option for you besides to abide her commands.

you were trying to be valedictorian. for someone like you, who was attending school on a scholarship, that meant having to do what the rich kids say just so that you can keep your place here. you worked too hard to lose it, and even if they bullied you, you knew you could endure it.

you stopped for a moment, collecting yourself. your bag had slipped off your shoulder. with all the studying you’ve had to endure, as well as *✧･ﾟFEM YANDERE DELINQUENT/BULLY *:･ﾟ✧ taunts and actions, you huffed in irritation. your bag was falling off your shoulder, and to make matters worse, your lip gloss had fallen out of your bag.

with another huff let out of your mouth, you flipped your hair to see better. out of the corner of your eye, you caught *✧･ﾟFEM YANDERE DELINQUENT/BULLY *:･ﾟ✧ looking at you, her face showing a big smirk. you knew exactly what this meant, and honestly? you hated it. it fueled you with more anger than you could ever imagine. you’ve had to deal with all her taunts, her picking on you, and even her slamming your locker to the point where the locker door almost caught your fingers. and for what, a laugh? something that wouldn’t even matter the next day?

you looked at her. *✧･ﾟFEM YANDERE DELINQUENT/BULLY *:･ﾟ✧ had beckoned you with her fingers, ushering for you to follow her directions and go towards her. she may be rude, and infuriate you every time her existence is in your way of view, but you knew you couldn’t refuse with what she wanted.

you knew about rich kids like her. the second that you refuse and didn’t do what she wanted, or didn’t play along with her antics, is the day that all of a sudden you get stripped away from everything; no car, no job, and a letter in the mail taking away your scholarship.

you worked hard for that scholarship. you stayed up late on school night, half of the time pulling all nighters. you were not going to give that up even if you were done with all of *✧･ﾟFEM YANDERE DELINQUENT/BULLY *:･ﾟ✧’s teasing and mocking. you scuff your feet over towards her way, stopping right next to were she’s sitting.

as *✧･ﾟFEM YANDERE DELINQUENT/BULLY *:･ﾟ✧, watched you walked towards her, she began to feel giddy. she may have commanded you to come over here, but she felt nervous. your gaze made her feel weak. she was in between denial and wondering what would happen if she would just accept her feelings.

she wondered what it would feel like if she let her feelings consume her and let you control her; let her spoil you and serve you until the end of time. your entire being made her weak in the knees, and had her wanting more and more of you.

her brain won over her heart this time. she knew she couldn’t indulge, even if she wanted to. she was around her other delinquent friends for one; and for two, she was a delinquent for crying out loud! she was supposed to be cold and harsh towards anyone and everyone, not sappy and nice! *✧･ﾟFEM YANDERE DELINQUENT/BULLY *:･ﾟ✧ was a delinquent, and even if she had to shove her feelings down, she was going to act like one.

*✧･ﾟFEM YANDERE DELINQUENT/BULLY *:･ﾟ✧ isn’t supposed to be sappy. she isn’t supposed to feel this way. she doesn’t deserve it. *✧･ﾟFEM YANDERE DELINQUENT/BULLY *:･ﾟ✧’s face shifted from nerves to fury. you were making her feel all fuzzy inside and questioning herself, and she hated it. she’s never felt this way about anyone before, and she wants to keep it like way.

people like her do not fall in love.

so what does someone like her do? she’s going to order you around harshly like a pet, like your beneath her like scum under her shoe so she can tug away her feelings for you and convince herself that you mean absolutely nothing to her. she fixes her face so she can keep up the facade that she’s created.

*✧･ﾟFEM YANDERE DELINQUENT/BULLY *:･ﾟ✧ glares at you like you’re nothing. she hates that you’re making her believe that your worth something. she’ll get you back for whatever you’ve done to her to make her feel this way.

“listen carefully loser. i want something to eat. go grab me something from the store over there, and don’t mess it up.” *✧･ﾟFEM YANDERE DELINQUENT/BULLY *:･ﾟ✧ commands. she leaves no room for debate.

*✧･ﾟFEM YANDERE DELINQUENT/BULLY *:･ﾟ✧ knows all about you and your history. she knows that you hate how much she targets you, or how she makes you feel worse than what you already do. she also knows about your financial situation, and how you have to have a scholarship to attend the school her parents desperately want her to go to. after the way you’ve made her feel, *✧･ﾟFEM YANDERE DELINQUENT/BULLY *:･ﾟ✧ wants to return the favor.

“yeah, yeah i know. i’ll be back.” as you walk away from her, she calls out to you.

“and make sure it’s fresh. i don’t want anything nasty.” she barks. you “tsk” at her as you walk away, subtly showing off your annoyance. you’re disgusted with that fact that she’s barking orders at you like you’re a dog. you hate that you basically have to follow what she says.

why does she pick on you specifically? she could have anyone to push and shove around, yet she picked you. with the money and influence she has, there are probably many people who would kill to have her bark at them. they would do anything, and *✧･ﾟFEM YANDERE DELINQUENT/BULLY *:･ﾟ✧ decides to pick you, knowing that you could care less about her or her family.

maybe it’s because she knows you don’t care, even though you follow through with her orders, or maybe it’s because you have yet to suck up to her or ask her for something that she could grant you.

you don’t know what made *✧･ﾟFEM YANDERE DELINQUENT/BULLY *:･ﾟ✧ pick you, but whatever it was, you were going to make her regret it. as you walked into the convenience store, you decided that you would get her the worse thing possible. it may seem petty, or stupid for that matter, but you were going to do anything to get *✧･ﾟFEM YANDERE DELINQUENT/BULLY *:･ﾟ✧ and make her pay.

as you walk into the store, you look around, picking out which ones would get *✧･ﾟFEM YANDERE DELINQUENT/BULLY *:･ﾟ✧ sick without the food looking bad. you look around, your eyes landing on the hotdogs. you hate it, and you know they never clean the racks unless they are ordered to. the hotdogs are used over and over again until someone buys them, which makes it the perfect food for you to buy.

you grab two hotdogs and splatter ketchup and mustard on it. once your done you make your way to the back and grab yourself your favorite candy, as well as a root beer for *✧･ﾟFEM YANDERE DELINQUENT/BULLY *:･ﾟ✧. once your done, you go to the register and pay for everything.

you walk back, everything in its bag. you take out your candy and stuff it into your bag. you don’t want her finding out and wanting the candy you bought for yourself. you may have been “ordered” to go and fetch some food for her, but that doesn’t mean that you have to give her more than what she asked for.

an almost expired hotdog and a root beer didn’t make up for all the harshness that *✧･ﾟFEM YANDERE DELINQUENT/BULLY *:･ﾟ✧ gives to you, but you decide that it might be a start to subtly getting her back. there would definitely be more times where you would be able to get her back harsher.

*✧･ﾟFEM YANDERE DELINQUENT/BULLY *:･ﾟ✧ realizes something as you’re away carrying out her task; she forgot to give you money. it’s very faint —almost nonexistent—, but she surprisingly feels guilt.

in the beginning, she was upset. she wanted to make you pay for causing her to feel things that she usually doesn’t; but looking at it now, she realizes that she’s messed up. now only did she send you out with no money to walk to a convenience store because she was too lazy, but she also sent you out in the cold winter where your hands would be exposed to frostbite.

*✧･ﾟFEM YANDERE DELINQUENT/BULLY *:･ﾟ✧ now wishes that she could undo time. she wish she wasn’t so hung up on her anger from earlier that she would take it out on you when you didn’t deserve that. she should’ve paid for her food, and should’ve made sure that you had gloves on.

“i’ll be back. don’t follow me.” *✧･ﾟFEM YANDERE DELINQUENT/BULLY *:･ﾟ✧ coldly tells her friends. she doesn’t want them seeing her admit her wrongs, especially in front of the girl they bully. *✧･ﾟFEM YANDERE DELINQUENT/BULLY *:･ﾟ✧ goes up to you. she’s pushed all her pride and her ego aside. she wants to apologize to you.

when you saw *✧･ﾟFEM YANDERE DELINQUENT/BULLY *:･ﾟ✧, you wanted to rip off the smile on her face. she looked nervous and like she’d had just gotten in trouble. it threw you off to say the least. this girl made you buy her food, and then wanted to act like she was sorry?

even if she was, you wouldn’t forgive her. girls like *✧･ﾟFEM YANDERE DELINQUENT/BULLY *:･ﾟ✧ are never sorry about their actions, nor do they feel actual regret. girls like her are only sorry when they get caught or because someone else made them apologize.

“here’s your food.” you spat. you shove the hotdogs and the root beer in her arms, making the hotdogs look worse than how you’ve got them. the root beer was practically gushing out of the bottle, but you? you could care less.

after how rudely *✧･ﾟFEM YANDERE DELINQUENT/BULLY *:･ﾟ✧ treats you, you hope that the drink spills all over her. you walk away before she can say thank you. you hope this is the last time she tries to get you to do something. you grab your belongings and walk down the street, heading towards the train.

*✧･ﾟFEM YANDERE DELINQUENT/BULLY *:･ﾟ✧ watches you walk away, both her mind and her heart filled with love. you may have tried to be petty towards her, but unfortunately for you, hotdogs are *✧･ﾟFEM YANDERE DELINQUENT/BULLY *:･ﾟ✧’s go-to when she goes to a convenience store.

and the fact that you did it unknowingly? you simply got it with her two with her favorite condiments just because? if she was in denial before, she definitely isn’t now. you went and got her favorites.

up until now, *✧･ﾟFEM YANDERE DELINQUENT/BULLY *:･ﾟ✧ has always seen you in a bad light. she hated how pretty you were, how you smiled when you said hi to people, and when you were kind to others for no reason.

but now, *✧･ﾟFEM YANDERE DELINQUENT/BULLY *:･ﾟ✧ is seeing you in a whole new light. she loves that you spent money on her, and that you got her favorite things from the store. she was so flustered in your presence that she forgot to tell you that she was sorry she made you pay for her.

*✧･ﾟFEM YANDERE DELINQUENT/BULLY *:･ﾟ✧ for once was sorry. she wanted to make it up to you. instead of purposely making you feel bad and ordering you around, she was now going to take care for you. she was going to make sure that you felt the same way she did.

whether you liked it or not, *✧･ﾟFEM YANDERE DELINQUENT/BULLY *:･ﾟ✧ was going to change. she was going to make you felt good and spoil you with love and gifts.

you may not accept it now, but *✧･ﾟFEM YANDERE DELINQUENT/BULLY *:･ﾟ✧ was going to change that. she’ll make sure that you start to feel the same way that you make her feel. and if she’s blessed, she’ll make it where you get giddy and fidgety around her as well.

*✧ *:･ﾟ✧ *✧ *:･ﾟ✧ *✧ *:･ﾟ✧ *✧ *:･ﾟ✧ *✧ *:･ﾟ✧ *✧ *:･ﾟ✧ *✧

*✧ *:･ﾟ✧ *✧ *:･ﾟ✧ *✧ *:･ﾟ✧ *✧ *:･ﾟ✧ *✧ *:･ﾟ✧ *✧ *:･ﾟ✧ *✧

this idea was made and created by @moniibu. all rights are reserved to @moniibu, and you are NOT allowed to steal, copy, or translate this work.

November 2023.

[thydungeongal]

I feel like maybe I'm out of the loop on this, and you are one of the most well-versed people I've ever seen when it comes to ttrpgs, so I'm hoping you might be able to enlighten me on this. I've played a good few games in my time, but I've been running into people who seem to have an almost feral hate for any "Powered By the Apocalypse" game. Now I can't say for certain all of them I've played (at least 3), but is there something about the system that just enrages people?

I know that some people dislike PbtA games for reasons that boil down to matters of taste. One of my good friends, the lead writer of @anim-ttrpgs does dislike PbtA games, and in his case it boils down to a number of reasons: he feels the structure of these games is often a bit too restrictive and ends up with characters who are defined largely by their narrative tropes; and another reason he tends to dislike them is that the popularity of the framework has led to a lot of lazy PbtA games that don't really do anything interesting with the framework and are kind of just lazy and bad. That's a surface level read of his points and he's actually written a long post about it, but especially on that latter point I do agree with him: it's nowhere near as bad as the proliferation of lazy D&D 5e hacks, but on the indie RPG side there are a lot of cases where someone feels that a PbtA hack would be perfect for their first TTRPG. The thing is, it's very easy to make a PbtA game, but it's extremely hard to make a good PbtA game. Some of the best games I've seen using the framework are actually quite involved and have lots of interlocking parts, but a lot of the ones I've seen are simply kind of. Meh.

But there's another strain of PbtA haters out there that I know of and this group of people is best characterized as "people with a grudge against certain types of games doing the worst faith reading of those games to find 'flaws' in them." I think the most visceral hatred of PbtA games I've seen was on The Gaming Den, where a bunch of dudes convinced themselves that PbtA games are bad because on a roll of 6- a GM could just make bears happen out of nowhere. So, you know, it was a bunch of guys who did a surface level read of Apocalypse World but never read the MC principles, because if they had they would have realized that "Make a move that follows" is one of the MC principles.

All of which is to say, it's more or less the same that's going on with pretty much any RPG: some people will read a game and give it a shot and decide it's not for them, and often come away with a way to articulate why they disliked it. Other people will go in wanting to find a reason to dislike a thing and do the worst faith reading possible. And a lot of people will simply never read a game and simply accept that the previous group's reading of it is true.

So none of this is to say that none of the people who you've encountered have actually read a PbtA game and played it and actually formulated their opinions through experience. But knowing what nerds can be like it's probably at least some of them.