#i just don’t want to have to explain to people why i fucked up and have to go back again

[tgmsunmontue]

Season to Taste - 21/? WIP

Explicit Hangster - Celebrity Chef Bradley and Naval Aviator Jake Seresin who have a relationship spanning the globe before they realize how tightly bound they are to one another. Heading into this little world.

PROLOGUE/ONE TWO THREE FOUR FIVE SIX SEVEN EIGHT NINE TEN ELEVEN TWELVE THIRTEEN FORTEEN FIFTEEN SIXTEEN SEVENTEEN EIGHTEEN NINETEEN TWENTY

CHAPTER TWENTYONE

                Vi enters the kitchen looking worried and he’s immediately concerned that something is going wrong front of house. She’s good, but there are still so many moving parts that she can’t catch everything. There are people that think they’re together, with how they’re portrayed on TV, and obviously the more they deny it the more people think they’re actively trying to hide it, so they’ve given up denying at least and just saying no comment. It’s easier and they’re not that exciting really, they have to lose interest eventually.

                “Leonardo…” Vi starts and one of his eyebrows shoots up. Italian it is then. She wants to say something and not have others understand. “There’s a guy out front saying he wants to talk to you. Says he’s your uncle?”

                For the briefest of seconds he thinks it might be Mav, but no, it has to be Ice. Mav wouldn’t say uncle, he always used godfather.

                “Tall guy. Looks really fucking intimidating?” Bradley asks, already untying his apron and straightening his top.

                “Oh. So you do know him?”

                “Yeah. Come on, let me introduce you to my Uncle Ice.”

                “Ghiaccio,” Vi offers, clearly thinking he’s forgotten the Italian word for ice and he laughs and shakes his head.

                “No. Not ghiaccio. His name is Ice. Or Tom actually I guess.”

                “Oh. Oh this is, he’s your… okay. Yeah. I want to meet him properly.”

…            …            …           

                “You said you don’t scare easy… guess it’s time to prove it.”

                “Gladly,” Bradley says, because he’s faced down far scarier people, and done it without anyone by his side. Jake grips his hand, and he’s not sure if it’s to show him support, or because he himself needs the physical touch right now. Regardless Bradley pauses and pulls Jake into a quick hug, presses a kiss to his forehead. “It’ll be fine.” He’s got two bags of food in his other hand, and Jake is balancing the cake in his free hand

                Jake nods sharply, sucks in a breath and rolls his shoulders back, like it’s not his own family home he’s about to enter and he wonders why Jake is so nervous. He squeezes his hand and the smile and nod he gets almost has him laughing with how reassuring Jake is trying to look. It’s fucking adorable and he hopes for Jake’s sake it’s all going to go smoothly, so he’ll be friendly and helpful and charm them all. He knows he can put on the charm, Maria already likes him and Jake had seemed to think she was going to be one of the hardest to impress.

                Maria had sent him a series of messages, letting him know she’s informed her siblings exactly who Jake was suddenly dating. That Jake called him Leo, so they could call him Leo or Bradley. She’s also explained to them that Jake seems to either not know the extent of Bradley’s fame, or simply doesn’t care, either way they all needed to be equally chill. She’s told him that Olivia is excited to meet him again, and the fact that he has met her before on the previous Saturday at the farmers market makes him feel even more prepared. That’s almost half of Jake’s sisters right there.

                He follows Jake and the door opens in front of them, like they’ve been watched the entire time and he isn’t surprised. A man is standing there, much too young to be Jake’s father, and he’s reaching out to take the cake from Jake’s hands.

                “I am under very strict instructions to rescue this cake and then protect it with my life… I’m Daniel by the way. Sandra’s husband. You see kids running around they’re also mine…”

                “Bradley,” he offers, dropping Jake’s hand to shake his, and then Maria is there, taking the cake from Daniel like she doesn’t trust him to hold it and Bradley grins at her.

                “Hey Maria.”

                “Bradley. Nice to see you again… thank you for this,” she says, eyes alight with glee and Bradley grins. He always likes making food for people who really appreciate it and Maria has got an excellent grasp of flavors so he hopes it lives up to her expectations.

                “I, uh, made a bit more food and thought I’d bring it along. Rickard –”

                “Oh. Do you have some of his salsas?”

                “Yeah. And fresh corn chips.”

                “Perfect. Come on through. Ignore the chaos.”

                Bradley isn’t quite sure what chaos she’s referring to but then he follows them out the back and then there are kids running around and then there are three women all standing there, all looking at him with varying degrees of skepticism and interest. He smiles and passes his bags to Maria, explains the additional food and is grateful to learn that it’ll go well with what she has planned. That they’d already done a bunch of stuff for lunch so he’s not contributing to over catering. Then she’s waving him off and Jake is hovering awkwardly and Bradley reaches for him, feels him settle a little as he wraps his arm around his waist.

                “Olivia right? Nice to see you again.”

                “Yeah. Hi.”

                Then he’s meeting Sandra and Nicola, who seem cooly polite, especially compared to Maria and Olivia’s much warmer friendliness. Jake hadn’t been wrong, there is a weird feeling, and he can only guess it’s the emotional upheaval of the day. He’d suggested, both to Jake and also Maria via messages, that maybe it could be postponed and told in very uncertain terms that that was not going to be happening. Also it’s an early dinner because many of them will get up early to be at the market to set up first thing in the morning. His offer of help has not been accepted. This time.

                There is no sign of Jake’s father, or Amanda, but no one is saying anything, so he stands there and makes small talk about the different places he’s travelled to, apparently a topic of conversation which they’ve all deemed appropriately safe. Jake is tugged away to play by his nieces and nephew and it’s very clear from both the torn look on Jake’s face that he wants to go as much as he doesn’t want to leave Bradley unattended with his sisters. Fortunately whatever expression he’s wearing and the expectant look on Sandra’s face have Jake heading out to the garden to throw and kick balls around, throwing an apologetic look over his shoulder as he goes.

                “So. Bradley.”

                “Yeah.”

                “You seem… normal.”

                “I… I’m sorry? Was that meant to be a compliment or an insult?”

                “Neither. Simply an observation. You’re not quite like how I imagined.”

                “What you imagined? Let me guess… someone hard to please and with a short fuse?”

                “Well, that is how you’re portrayed.”

                “Short fuse, yeah, when I was younger maybe. Definitely now when I’m stressed. But… no. Not me at all. Just what they choose to show of me. Sometimes I play it up when they ask me too….”

                “I knew it!” Olivia declares and Bradley shoots her a quick grin. “And Sandra only watched highlights on YouTube last night, I think she focused on a compilation one which just shows you yelling at people.”

                Bradley pulls a face, because he’s not a fan of those moments, but he also knows that a lot of people are. Then he hears the door open again and everyone turns toward it and there is another woman, one who is carrying a large bag and a baby and this has to be Amanda and her son Lincoln.

                “Holy shit. Bradley Bradshaw.”

                “He is.” “Do you not read your messages?” “Mandy!”

                “Hi. Nice to meet you.”

                “Holy shit, Maria, you weren’t joking.”

                “Does she usually?” Bradley asks, looks to Maria who is rolling her eyes.

                “Well… no. I just thought maybe you were a guy that just looked like him. Rather than actually being him…”

                “I’m actually him. Have been my whole life.”

                “Except for when you go by Leonardo,” Sandra states and Bradley shrugs.

                “I’m both Leo and Bradley, same person. I answer to both equally. I just usually expect Leo to be followed with a stream of Italian…”

                “Jake’s been learning Italian.”

                “He told me,” Bradley says, tries not to feel too smug about the fact.

 ��              “Anyway, I’m Amanda. It’s nice to meet you.”

                “Nice to meet you too. And this must be Lincoln…”

                “He doesn’t like strangers…” Amanda says, already apologetic as if her son is about to scream in his face and Bradley shrugs. He likes kids, but he isn’t going to make grabby hands for a baby he’s just met, or a mom who has just met him. “Huh. Apparently you don’t make him scream. So yeah. Here,” and then he’s having a baby foisted onto him and he cradles the small body against his chest automatically, looks at her in surprise only to find all five sisters now grinning and it’s so similar to Jake’s it is a little unnerving.

                “So, you like kids?”

                “Yeah. Big family. Lots of cousins.”

                “Hmm.”

…            …            …

                Jake isn’t sure what his insides are doing when he sees Leo holding Lincoln, but he does know he needs to immediately capture it on his phone, quickly takes a snap and realizes it’s the first picture he’s taken of Leo. Nicola and Amanda are both smirking at him, and he turns back to Daniel, can’t even subtly give them the finger with the kids around. He sees his sisters move as a pack, Leo trailing after them with Lincoln still in his arms and Daniel jerks his head.

                “Go on, go rescue him and see if your sisters need any help…”

                “Like they’ll let me help,” Jake mutters under his breath, but he slopes off and tries not to feel too bad at the disappointment from his niblings as he leaves them to their games. Of course, he should have prepared himself better, gets almost to the kitchen to find that they’re not grilling Leo about himself, they’re grilling him about Jake. What the hell, that’s not the way it’s meant to go. He stands just out of the way, catches Leo’s eye and the little wink which makes his stomach do a little flip.

                “Wait. Jake’s cooked for you? How did that go?”

                “He’s a perfectly good cook,” Leo states, ducking his head.

                “Could you taste anything other than sauce?”

                “He cooks to survive, not to enjoy…”

                “He didn’t put any sauce on mine. And I enjoyed not having to cook.”

                “Wow. Must be true love.”

                “It ain’t blind, it has no taste…”

                “And I’m working on making him a sauce…”

                “You’re what?”

                “Oh my god, you’re going to make him sauce… He’s going to get his own signature sauce. Of course he is.”

                “I don’t know if that’s sweetly romantic or sickeningly romantic…”

                “So sweet it makes you sick?”

                “Bingo. That’s it…”

                “You’re all just jealous,” Jake declares, and they all jump a little, turning to look at him and he scoops Lincoln from Leo’s arms, surprised but pleased when Leo gives him a kiss, catches the pleased look a couple of his sisters shoot him and feels warm inside. They’re moving food to the table, setting out plates and tableware. Their dad is apparently less than five minutes away so his window of being able to be a little inappropriate is closing rapidly.

                “And you can stay jealous. He makes me breakfast in bed too.”

                “Yeah. I wonder why,” Nicola says dryly, and there are so many snorts and huffs of amusement he can’t tell if any of them didn’t, including Leo. Traitor.

                “I don’t mind making breakfast for everyone one morning…”

                “You’re not making any of my sisters a morning after breakfast!”

                “I made you a morning after breakfast…” Leo states, and Jake blinks at him, but his sisters, for the most part, are all cackling like mad and while the idea of Leo teaming up with his sisters should scare him, it instead thrills a part of him, that they already getting on well enough to hassle him.

                “Yeah. For…” Jake looks around, and his nieces and nephew have come inside and are all looking at him avidly and he slumps back against the bench. “Fine. Cook for whoever you want.”

                “Oh my god. Can you make me eggs benedict?”

                “He’s not your personal chef!” Jake grumbles, and for some reason this makes Leo laugh and kiss the side of his face again.

…            …            …

                He’s coming back from the bathroom, ready to eat when he nearly bumps into someone in the entryway taking off their boots. This must be Jake’s father.

                “Oh. Sorry sir. I didn’t see you there.”

                “You… You’re Bradley Bradshaw.”

                “Yes sir?”

                “I’m sorry. What are you doing here exactly?”

                “Uh. I’m Jake’s…” he waves a hand, suddenly at a loss for words. Wants to say boyfriend, however it feels to juvenile, but partner is far too serious and Vi is his literal business partner. “Date?” Bradley asks, wondering what Jake’s father has been told exactly.

                “I thought Maria told me your name was Leonardo…”

                “You can call me Bradley sir, Leonardo is my Italian name, and it’s the name I used the first time I met Jake.”

                “Huh. You can call me Chuck. Nice to meet you, Bradley. Of all the young men Jake could bring home he brings home you. Kinda funny.”

                “Uh…” Bradley isn’t quite sure what to do or say in reply to that.

                “Sorry. My wife loves watching you cook is all.”

                “Oh.” Oh.

                “I mean, I’ve seen some of them so often I can probably transcribe them, but Jenna really enjoys it. Especially when you yell at people.”

                “Oh, I don’t really…”

                “It’s fine son, I’m well aware it’s likely dramatized to make it more interesting. But she seems to think you’re well justified in your yelling. We enjoy watching it together and just… of all the people that Jake could have started dating he somehow picked one that his mother has a chance of recognizing. I’m assuming he told you about her.”

                “Yes sir.”

                “Less of the sir, just Chuck will do. He’s got no idea you’re on TV does he?”

                “I don’t believe so sir.”

                “Huh. Yeah, that boy never liked watching TV growing up. Being outdoors was where he wanted to be. School was a challenge, until they could teach him why things would be useful. You got yourself a handful there,” Chuck says, then shoots Bradley a wink. “And if I find out you’ve been inappropriate with my baby I’ll have you know I own a shotgun!” he says much louder and Bradley hears Jake’s exasperated dad! And he can’t help but laugh.

                It’s not what he was expecting, to simply be accepted and welcomed with open arms reminds him so deeply of the Gallo family it almost hurts in the best type of way. Because there’s also the edges of happy craziness and banter going around and the deep love they have for each other. When Jake kisses him all he gets are self-indulgent smiles aimed in their general direction. Yeah. He could get used to being part of this family too.

TWENTYTWO

[kaleldobrev]

Vampergeist (5) — The 15 Year Problem Series

Pairing: MOC!Dean Winchester x F. Reader

Feat. Character(s): Reader & Dean Winchester

Series Summary: Needing help on a poltergeist case, you ask fellow hunter Sam Winchester for help. Despite having a broken arm, Sam agrees to help you. But, just as he’s about to head out and meet you, Dean tells him that he’ll take his place and help instead.

Word Count: 2.6k

Warnings: Cursing (6x), Age Gap (15 years), Sexual tension & Vulnerable Reader

Authors Note: Only 2 more parts after this one gang! I hope y'all have been having a great time with this series so far! | It's one of my favorite universes to write for | A prequel series to the Old Man Universe (OMU) on how Dean and reader met | Takes place a few days after Dean is cured from being a demon in 2016 (please read this post for reasonings why it’s 2016, not 2014) | As always, thoughts are in italics and the "POV's" switch between Dean & Reader | If you liked this, don’t forget to like & reblog. I really appreciate it! Feedback is always welcome ♡

⋆ The 15 Year Problem Masterlist ⋆

⬸ Go Back & Read Chapter 4

“Okay, I think I know what we’re dealing with,” Dean said, looking up from one of the case files the coroner had given you less then half an hour ago. He kept a strong grip on the files, his tone and facial expressions serious.

You gave him a slightly questionable look as you sipped your beer and squinted your eyes slightly. Before you had called Sam, you had done some digging and you were sure that it was a poltergeist case, as all signs of one were there at all of the crime scenes. The only couple of things you hadn’t quite nailed yet were who the poltergeist was, and why it seemed to be only targeting medical students. “Yeah, it’s a polter—”

“A Vampergeist,” Dean said at the exact same moment as you, essentially cutting you off.

Your mouth was half open, trying to process what he just said. After the case was over, you made a mental note to ask Sam if his brother said things like this often. You folded your hands, eyeing Dean, trying to keep a straight face. “What in the living fuck is a Vampergeist?”

“It’s a poltergeist that sucks the blood of its victims like a vampire,” Dean explained, his tone with slight humor in it. “Vampergeist,” he repeated, moving his hands in a gesture as if he was somehow imitating Vanna White. The smile on his face was a rather goofy one — similar to that of a toddler who told his mother a new word he had just discovered. But you couldn’t help but smile looking at him. With the short amount of time you’ve been with Dean, he had made you smile more than anyone had in such a long time.

“Vampergeist is definitely a new one,” you said, playing along with his new word. A word that you didn’t want to admit to him that you were actually pretty fond of. “Unfortunately, Vampergeists exist just as much as Bigfoot and Nessie do,” you teased.

“Vampergeists don’t exist,” he mumbled to himself, using a slightly mocking tone. You smirked, giving a quiet chuckle to yourself at his imitation of you.

Dean rubbed his eyes, feeling the eye strain starting to hit him from looking at the case files and the laptop. At this point, neither one of you had a clue who the poltergeist could be, and why it seemed to be specifically targeting medical students of all people. In his long hunting career, and in your numerous poltergeist cases you’ve worked, neither of you had ever seen or heard of one that drained the blood of its victims before; especially one that didn’t even leave marks for entry.

He looked at you, and you were biting your bottom lip; something that you tended to do, he noticed, whenever you were thinking or concentrating hard on something. He wished he was the one biting it. Fuck, I need to get laid, he thought.

You must of felt his stare, as all of a sudden you looked up from the case file and smiled at him. The way you smiled killed him. "Did you find anything?" You asked, placing the case file on the table.

"No," he answered automatically, rubbing his face again. "But what I can tell you is that I have a fuck ton of eye strain. Which means, it's time to take a break," he said, patting the table and getting up.

You weren't against a break, as the more breaks you took, the longer it took to work the case. And the longer it took to work the case, meant the longer amount of time you got to spend with Dean.

As he got up from the table, he went to his side of the bed and plopped onto it, grabbing the remote from the side table and turning on the television. "Watching tv isn't going to help your eye strain you know," you commented. "Might make it worse."

Dean scoffed. "Everything can be solved by watching some TV," he said. "Now come." He patted your side of the bed, and started flipping through the channels trying to find something the two of you could watch together.

As you lied down on the bed next to Dean, your heart started to pound quickly. You were inches away from him, and all you wanted to do was reach out and touch him. You wanted to grab his hand and hold it in yours, rest your head on his shoulder. But the more you thought about all the things you had wanted to do with him, the sadder you got. You were never going to be able to rest your head on his shoulder, or feel his lips on yours. There was no way he would ever look at you in a romantic way.

There was absolutely nothing to watch, which slightly surprised him, because even in shitty motels, there was at least one thing to watch. But the more he channel surfed, the deeper he sighed. “There’s nothing on, not even Scooby-Doo,” he said.

“Is Scooby-Doo your favorite?” You asked, looking at him, and he nodded in response.

“Yeah. Like I said before. Scooby-Doo was one of those things that was always on no matter where me, my dad and Sammy were. It was also one of the few things that I watched where I knew the bad guy was going to lose,” he explained. “Like —”

“Horror movies,” you added. “That’s why I like horror movies so much. You know the bad guy is always going to lose,” you explained. Of course you fucking like horror movies, he thought. Was there something the two of you didn’t have in common?

“Yeah, exactly,” he agreed. “That’s what I tell Sammy all the time. He says our life is pretty much a horror movie, that’s why he doesn’t like them but, at least I know in movies the bad guy loses. In our world well…”

“It’s not a guarantee,” you said, finishing his sentence for him yet again, your tone sounding almost slightly saddened. “Speaking of which,” you began, as you sat on the edge of the bed, “we need to find out who this poltergeist is before anymore students end up dead,” you said, as you walked back over to the table.

“Yahtzee!” Dean randomly called out, throwing his hands up in the air before spinning his laptop to face you. “Read the title of this article I finally found,” he said, with the biggest, impressed smile on his lips.

“David Falko’s medical instruments donated to medical museum at The University of Tulsa,” you read aloud. “What about it?” You asked.

“Keep reading, and look at the date on the bottom of the article,” Dean pointed out.

“July first, twenty-sixteen,” you said.

“And when was the first murder?” Dean asked.

“July third, twenty-sixteen,” both you and Dean at the same time.

“Son of a Bitch,” you mumbled.

“But wait, there’s more,” Dean began, holding up his pointer finger before turning his laptop back to him. “I did a little bit more digging on our pal Falko here, and fifty years ago, he murdered three of his medical students using the exact same instruments that were donated.”

“How do you explain the blood draining with no marks?” You asked.

Dean grinned from ear to ear. “I am so glad you asked.” He grabbed one of the case files that the corner had given you, and opened it, revealing the photographs from the autopsy. “Our coroner friend did miss something. See this right here?” Dean pointed to one of the autopsy photos, which was a close up picture of one of the medical students hairlines by their neck.

“That mark right there?” You asked, pointing to a small circular mark that looked extremely similar to a mole.

“Yep. That’s not a mole like the coroner thought. It’s actually a puncture wound. What Falko did fifty years ago, was he punctured the base of the students skulls close enough to their hair line so it looked like a mole and essentially, went unnoticed,” Dean explained. “Until now anyway,” he winked.

“And because he was their supervisor, that’s why there was no forced entry,” you stated, and Dean nodded. “What about the lack of struggle?”

“All three students offered to make Falko coffee, and when the students weren’t looking, Falko would drug them. So, when the students drank the drugged coffee, they would fall asleep, and that’s when he could do his handiwork,” he explained, and his explanation made your blood run cold. Not only did Falko kill three people, he did it in a cowardly way.

“It would make sense for Falko to be our guy. Do you think, and it’s a stretch here I know that, the reason that there are no drugs in any of the students systems is because he can just knock them out from being a ghost?” You knew how crazy your theory was, but in this line of work, sometimes the craziest of theories were the most logical of ones.

Dean shrugged. “Could be possible. But at the same time, even in death, serial killers don’t really change their M.O. And I can’t believe I just said that out loud.”

You chuckled at his comment. “I’m sure it’s not the craziest thing you’ve ever said,” you slightly smirked.

Dean smirked back. “Actually —” but before he could indulge in your comment, you cut him off.

“Please tell me the medical instruments are still at the college, because I’m assuming we can’t just salt and burn this guy,” you said. Both Dean and you have been on plenty of ghost cases, and rarely was it that easy to just salt and burn the remains — there was almost always something else involved.

“You would be correct because our buddy here was cremated,” Dean replied.

“Of course he is,” you mumbled, rolling your eyes. “Alright. Well. Since we have a few hours to kill before dark, I say we take a little nap and fuel up before we steal some historical medical equipment from a prominent university.”

Dean smiled, chuckling to himself. “Couldn’t have said it any better myself.”

The rest of the morning and afternoon with Dean couldn’t have gone any quicker. It felt like the time flew by, and it was time that you desperately wanted to re-live again; which is funny because it was relatively uneventful. The two of you did what you had suggested: take a nap, refuel, and watched some tv. But during those hours with him, you felt safe and comfortable. You felt truly safe with Dean despite barely knowing him a couple of days. He was still relatively a stranger to you and yet, you’d trust him with your life if it ever came down to it.

When it came to your nap, you were the first one to wake, which you were strangely grateful for as you were able to admire the way Dean slept. He looked so peaceful, like he didn’t have a care in the world. You wanted desperately to reach out and touch him, to feel his stubble underneath your fingertips. But you had to resist the urge even though it was getting stronger with each passing second.

When nighttime had finally come, it was time to head to the medical museum at the university, and hopefully put a stop to this once and for all. But based on the information that the two of you had gathered though, you figured that Falko was done with his little murder spree, but you needed to make sure that he would never be able to harm anyone ever again. Three now, and six in total was far too many innocent lives lost.

As you and Dean drove to the university, there remained that comfortable silence that seemed to often appear between the two of you; the only sound to be heard in the truck was The Clash, but the volume was scarily low for you, as you tended to blast your music — not caring who heard. But in this moment, you felt it wasn’t necessary.

Despite the silence that you were enjoying between the two of you, you were the one that broke it. “Before, you asked me how I got into hunting so young,” you began, still keeping your eyes on the road.

“You don’t have to tell me,” Dean reassured you. “It’s not a big deal if I don’t know.”

“I want to. I trust you,” and you meant it when you said that, as trust was something you rarely gave to people since you became a hunter. You removed your hand from the wheel briefly, and touched the dog tags that were hanging in your review mirror. “See these?” You asked, and removed your hand, putting it back on the wheel again. Dean nodded. “He’s the reason I got into hunting.”

Dean looked at you, inches away from touching the precious dog tags you had refused to burn after all this time. “May I?” He asked, and you nodded. He removed the dog tags gently from the rear view and you felt your heart pounding quickly. You never let anyone touch them, and yet, you were letting Dean. “Joseph A. Baxter,” Dean read.

“Joey,” you corrected, partially smiling as you said his name. “He was my best friend and my neighbor. We were…inseparable, attached to the hip. Our parents always wondered when the two of us would start dating but, we…” you sighed deeply. “Never got the chance to.” You hadn’t talked about Joey in such a long time, and it felt almost therapeutic in a way to talk about him, but at the same time, he was someone you rarely talked about because sometimes it was too painful for you to bring up the memories of him, despite the amount of fondness and love you had for him.

You felt tears coming on, and you quickly did your best to bat them away with your eyelashes, but some still managed to escape to your cheeks. “He enlisted, and he left. Said he’d be back in no time,” you took a deep breath again. This was harder than you expected it to be. You wanted to continue, to tell Dean about him, as you felt safe enough to tell him, something you rarely felt with people since Joey died. As you were almost about to give up, you felt Dean place his hand on your thigh. Not in a romantic way, but in a comforting way. But the gesture didn’t last long, as he quickly pulled it away. But that small gesture gave you enough strength to continue.

“When he came back he was…he was dead. We got the news when an army vehicle pulled up in front of his parents house with one of those folded flags with his dog tags on top,” you paused again, but Dean remained silent. “His funeral was a week later. I was just so…angry at him. He promised…he promised he’d come back.” You didn’t fight back any of the tears now, as they were running down your cheeks. You knew you were in no condition to drive now, so you pulled over to the side of the road.

As soon as you did, you couldn’t control yourself anymore. Your body was on autopilot. You turned to Dean and wrapped your arms around him, and without hesitation it seemed, he wrapped his arms around you. He gently rubbed your back the best he could at the angle you were at, and he started humming, as if he was trying to help you calm down. “It’s okay,” he whispered on repeat to you.

⤑ Move Forward & Read Chapter 6 (Not yet available)

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[cal-daisies-and-briars]

Humbly here to request my weekly sentences :)

🧟🧟🧟🧟🧟🧟🧟🧟🧟🧟🧟🧟🧟🧟🧟

❄️❄️❄️❄️❄️❄️❄️❄️❄️❄️❄️❄️❄️❄️❄️❄️❄️❄️❄️❄️ I am SO intrigued by this idea

YAY!

45 for 🧟:

---

“It looked like a singular flashlight,” Maddie explains. 

“Maybe it’s just someone looking around,” Hen says. 

Because she hopes. Because she worries about the alternative. Because she needs for there not to be a threat to her son.

“Right, yeah,” Maddie nods. “Like a scavenger. Or a traveler. I’ve been there.”

“We don’t know,” Bobby decides. “And we’re not going to panic until we do. A handful of us can go scouting tomorrow.”

Hen is almost certain that includes her. Good. She’ll make sure Karen stays behind with Denny, where it’s safe. 

“Sounds like a plan,” Karen says. 

“I’ll take the first stakeout shift,” Bobby announces.

“I’ll join you,” Athena offers. 

“I appreciate that,” Bobby replies. 

And that’s that. It’s settled. They have a plan. 

Having a plan always makes Hen feel better. Not totally better, but less bad. The worst is being in a predicament and not knowing what next move to make. At least this isn’t that. Yet. 

But, still… Hen would be lying if she said she gets much sleep that night. 

September 8th, 2018

Denny is overflowing with joy in the morning. A few days of playing with boys his own age and he’s pretty much descended into being a total rascal. But compared to a child that only had adults for company and seemed a bit too old for his age, Hen will take a bit of  mischief and silliness any day. 

“What if something terrible happens?” Hen asks her wife quietly as they get ready for the day. “Denny is finally getting to be a normal kid.”

“I don’t know if this is normal,” Karen says, looking across the room to where Denny and Christopher are playing Connect 4. “But, yeah… I know. I can’t stop thinking, Eddie left his kid here. He trusted Maddie and all of us. Now what if when he gets back…”

God, Hen hadn’t even considered that. 

“I hope they get back soon,” Hen mumbles. “We could use numbers and weapons on our side, just in case.”

---

60 for ❄️:

---

Basically, Eddie can’t be blamed for any of this. He’s free of guilt. He didn’t mean to… Well, do anything. 

Really, all he wanted to do was be less of a fucking mess. 

i.

“I think group therapy would benefit you,” Frank says, one session in late June. 

Christopher is still gone and Gerrard is still captain and life still pretty much sucks. Every day just feels like an endless loop of fucking shit. 

“You firing me, Frank?” Eddie asks. “Took you longer than expected, actually.”

Eddie’s been doing that a lot lately. The whole sarcasm thing. More than usual. And not just to Frank. He’s even begun to make tiny, biting comments in Buck’s direction. Which is completely unfair of him because all Buck is doing is supporting him. Just… Well, sometimes Eddie doesn’t know what else to say when… When things are brought up. 

Frank smiles patiently. “I think group therapy would benefit you, in addition to our sessions together.”

Eddie blinks. “Twice the amount of therapy? Extra people? I don’t know.”

Frank nods. “Yeah, it’s not most people’s favorite idea at first. But the feedback is usually pretty good.”

“Why would I need a group?” Eddie asks. “These problems… They’re pretty specific to me.”

Though, if Frank can point him in the direction of a support group for people who have encountered eerie clones of their dead spouses, Eddie will shut his damn mouth and get going. If this is a recurring thing for people, that’s just insane. Eddie will gladly join that class action lawsuit against god or the universe or whatever Buck would interpret it as. 

“Not all of what we’ve talked about is specific to you, Eddie,” Frank says. “A lot of people struggle with-”

“But isn’t everything with Chris and Kim and all that the most pressing thing?” Eddie interrupts. “That’s what I need to solve first.”

“It all helps, Eddie. We’ve talked about this. You being in a better, more open and accepting place with yourself? That will help with the rest.”

Eddie groans a little. It all sounds so counterintuitive. Even though Eddie knows he’s probably right. Why should he get to work on accepting and loving himself, when the consequences of his actions are still hurting his son? Keeping him away from home? He shouldn’t get to be happy right now. 

But the thing is, Eddie made a promise. To Buck, first. The night Christopher left. More than that, though, to himself. He’s going to trust the process. Therapy. The whole nine yards. He’s not going to let this destroy him. 

[valewritessss]

Finally deleted MyFitnessPal off my phone for my own personal sanity

[esta-elavaris]

Had a moment today that exemplifies how my family thinks but like, in a way that’s just very sad and makes me glad I don’t think that way.

Showed a relative the amazing painting that friend did for me, and her first response was “you’d be able to sell that for some good money!!!”

Like. No????

For months I’ve discussed this creative trade with this friend, we’ve talked about what the other wants, we’ve gotten excited about it and traded progress pics as we work on it for each other, gotten stoked over making plans to get to the post office and seeing the other finally get it, and it’s just been a very wholesome and very fun project. It took six weeks for us to complete these projects, and now I have something on display in my room that makes me very happy, that’s objectively beautiful, and that I know a friend put a lot of effort into making for me and was THRILLED when I adored it.

And my family’s immediate line of thinking is “make a few quid from it lol”.

I can’t imagine the headspace it must take to go through life like that.

[j-esbian]

i’m going to throw up

[fingertipsmp3]

No one:

Person writing an introduction for a well-known novel: I am going to spoil the vital plot points and twists of this book for anyone who has not read it

[the-bisexual-a-genda]

Feeling deeply tired of my family hours.

[daydadahlias]

I saw this tweet the other day with an insane amount of likes that said something along the lines of “I don’t trust people that hate children, the most vulnerable members of our society” and a ton of comments were “those people are hands down pedophiles trying to overcompensate by saying they hate kids” and like dude ?? that is the most insanely batshit and problematic take I’ve ever read ?? People that don’t like kids are not automatically fucking pedophiles? What a dangerous and horrible thing to say??

No one has an obligation to like children. This whole automatic “maternal” “paternal” instincts shit simply does not apply to everyone and the only reason people think it does is because of the overwhelming emphasis society has placed on the necessity to bear children. But it’s time people just fucking deal with the fact that not everyone wants kids. And they don’t need to. People don’t need to have kids to have purpose on this earth. And the attitude of “you’ll understand when you have kids of your own” like no, I won’t. I have enough autonomy and sense of self to know that I don’t want children. Please stop assuming people want children. Please stop pretending people are supposed to have children.

I’m certainly not condoning grown ass adults who are cruel to children and belittle them or talk down to people who do have kids because that’s just not okay because, yes, kids are vulnerable and heavily influenced by attitudes around them. So, yes, adults do need to be kind to children so they grow up in a healthy environment even if they don’t “like” them but no one has an obligation or a requirement to want to be around kids.

I am not required by law to like children and people need to stop pretending like people who don’t want kids are some fucking danger to society just because they don’t conform to it.

[milo-is-rambling]

Me when I want to be wanted more than anything else

[hey-op-just-kill-me]

…

[samuraisharkie]

did I SERIOUSLY get called an “absolute walnut” from a tumblr checkmark blog. AIEJGKWJGKDNGM. if I saw sainamoonshine irl I would maul their ableist condescending ass within an inch of their life. not worth it to fight with them bc they clearly don’t care about anyone else’s perspective but jesus fucking CHRIST what a piss poor refutation of me calling them ableist. And in three paragraphs no less!

[dearreader]

i need to stop remembering sorority stuff. need to erase my mind fr

[land-of-departure]

yeah no I will not sit down and have a discussion with you about why you don’t think I have the right to exist. I’m not going to listen to your concerns about how non-straight, non-cis people existing is harmful to children or whatever else nonsense is in your mind. fuck you fuck you fuck you fuck you fuck you, and if you didn’t hear me before let me say it again: FUCK YOU.

[fingertipsmp3]

So was anyone going to tell me I have a lazy eye or was I supposed to find that out by zoning out on facetime myself

[indefiniteavatar]

So basically, in a case about him shoving money at someone so they shut up about him. . .he can’t shut the fuck up himself. I would say something clever and funny here, except the sad part is that this is just so normal in current politics that it’s just. . .not hilariously absurd behavior anymore? Not to say that it’s not absurd - it is beyond such, but it is just. . . predictable, I suppose.

I guess this is how I feel about politics lately? Either I get mad at everything or I try to laugh at everything and normally that works because politicians usually aren’t so tragically stupid so very often, but now I just kinda have to chuckle at the particularly eyeroll worthy things like this, and try to ignore everything else or my brain will explode.