#choi su bong angst
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hii!!! i have a request for choi su bong/thanos from squid game! (very sorry if it is hard to understand, english is not my first language)
thanos and reader were friends before squid game, but fell out of contact due to both having issues with depression. they meet again at squid game and stay together
in mingle, reader gets pushed by another player while running to a room with thanos and they get locked out of the room (like young-mi 😔)
i like angst hehe
ouuu okk
Infant and innocent.
warnings: death (LOWKEY NOT EVEN THAT SAD, idk how to write angst sorry!!)
You and Thanos had went to highschool, he looked completely diffrent before, black hair, no tattoos, yall were best friends but fell out after graduation due to both of yall having issues and his little rapping career
The last place you thought you’ll ever see him was in the Squid games, he looked wayy different now.. the purple dyed hair, the tattoos, rings and the cross necklace, even tho he didn’t look the same as before you were still able to recognize your best friend.
“Oh my gosh! it’s been so long! how have you been!” you told him as you hugged quickly, “I’ve been better! i’ve missed you, what about you huh? you look the exact same as before!” he told you as he hugged you back “I’ve been good, better now!” you said giggling
Ever since that reunion, you both were practically glued to eachother, he introduced you to Nam-gyu which he had a mouth on him so Thanos would always say something to protect you
You guys stayed together thru out the games and catched up, laughing and everything
Yall were already teamed for the 2nd game, The six legged pentathlon, yall were sitting down on the floor noticing thanos acting different than Nam-gyu spoke up
“Hey dude can i have one of those things in your necklace?” he asked, thanos looked over “i don’t know what the fuck your talking about”
“Come on i’m like really shaky, dude look at my hands” he said shaking him his hands as you looked at them as well, “Do you know what this is?” he said raising his cross “Ecstasy?” “Nah this shit is crazy man.”
“Bro back then in the club i took all of it man..” nam gyu said as if it was something to flex, Thanos chuckled as he opened his cross “you little junkie..” he said giving him a colorful? smartie looking pill
He than looked over at you, “Want one?” he asked as you shaked your head “Uh.. what is it?” you asked back “Something that will chill your nerves, make you go brrr! know what i mean?” he said chuckling
You chuckled along trying to seem like you knew but than quickly stoped in confusion “No i don’t know what you mean..” you said, “God your so innocent..” he said chuckling a bit
Time skip
The 2nd gave was over with as yall mange to survive that, you sighed as you looked around, “What’s wrong?” Thanos asked looking up at you from the stairs, “Nothing just missing home, i guess…” you told him
His eyes slightly darken, “I think ima pick ‘X’, I kinda wanna go home, besides i think that’s enough money right?” you said to him again, “Nah.. you could always do more, besides you’ve survived this long why not just one more game?” he told you hoping you wouldn’t pick ‘X’
You hesitated, “I don’t know..besides it’s a bit dangerous, i mean who knows what the next game is right?” you said, Nam gyu glared up at you but he knew better to say anything because of thanos
“There just child games, it’s not like any of it is actually hard.. so one more game? than we get the hell out of here and fully catch up” he said smiling, you smiled back, “Sure..why not, i guess it shouldn’t be hard” you told her as he secretly applaud inside
You guys got yalls food as he looked at it, “The hell is this?” he asked the guards, he scoffed and walked away, you grabbed your food doing a small bow to the guard and quickly catching up to him
“Here, you can have mine” You told him giving him your bread, “What? no it’s yours” he said back pushing the bread away a bit, “No really, have it i’m not that hungry” you told him smiling at him
“Nah..you have to eat, you need energy for tomorrow” he told you, you rolled your eyes playfully as you opened the bag and split the bread into 2, “Than have my other half” you told him
He chuckled, you just won’t give up, he grabbed it and smiled at you
Time skip
It was now time for the 3rd game, Mingle, They explained the rules, they basically called out a random number and we have to pair up with the exact number and go into a room before times up, Seems easy right?
Everyone stepped on the platform as it started moving slowly in circles, a child games song came up as you stood there watching Thanos go in circles, his arms interlocked with Nam gyu as they laughed, you laughed a bit as you just looked away
“10 players”
The light started going darker colors and flickering a bit, since it was already 5 of yall, you just needed 5 more which yall quickly found and ran into a room
As the rounds went on the numbers were getting shorter
You were running with thanos as yall panicked and ran into a room with other people, both of yall slamming yourselves into the wall as he placed a hand to his chest, you covered your mouth laughing a bit since time was very low
He looked at you laughing as well, “Holy shit that was close!” he said, you nodded “Yea for a second i thought it was over! than i’ll have to hunt you down for saying one more game!” you told clearly joking and laughing
He laughed with you, “Nahh, I told you, your gonna make it trust! with those running skills? your good to go” he said back, “You better hope so” you said as you finally catch your breath.
The doors unlocked as everyone stepped back, everyone went back onto the platform
“Let the game begin”
Than the platform started moving and the same song came on, everyone waited a bit nervous as the platform stopped
“6 players”
Was all you heard, we still had 5 as thanos yelled out, “We need 1 more!!” he moved around as a random person came, “Come on!” he yelled at the group as he started running to a room, but when he opened it, people were already in there
“Get out!!” the people yelled as he quickly slammed the door
“Here!! this one is empty!!” Nam-gyu yelled as he was at a door, the whole group started running, you were running behind them
Your heart was beating as suddenly you were shoved, slammed into a wall, you let out a yelp
You felt dizzy since your head hit the wall, “Su bong..?” you said out, luckily thanos was able to hear you since, he quickly turned around seeing you
“Y/n!” he yelled out as he saw you getting up looking at him a bit dizzy, he was about to run to you until someone grabbed him pushing him in
You came to realization as you quickly ran to the door but it was already shut and locked, your heart was pounding faster than ever as you panicked
Thanos roughly shoved the guy away from the door looking into the little rectangle hole, the only thing he faced was your eyes which were tearing up
“Y/n!” he yelled out reaching his hands thru the hole as he felt your cheek, your tears fell down onto his finger tips even him started feeling tears forming
“Su bong..” you whispered
Thanos tried to reach out his hand even further as he was able to touch your cheek fully, he shaked his head refusing to believe that you were out there and he was inside
You leaned into his touch a bit as your tears made his hand wet, “No..no! y/n..” he said quickly
You didn’t have time to answer him as you felt a sharp sting thru your back, you let out a loud yelp as your body flinched, your head fell onto the door, more into thanos hand as he widen his eyes
He moved his hand to your chin trying to hold you up as your eyes went lifeless, his tears begin falling down as he couldn’t hold you up anymore, your body fell to the ground.
He banged his head on the door a bit as everyone watched him, he turned to the guy that pushed him inside and brutally punched him as Nam gyu quickly grabbed on to him
“Chill…chill it’s okay.” he said still pulling him back , Thanos growled and gripped onto his own hair
He started remembering everything, your smile, your last moments, what you told him last round about hunting him if you died.
If only he let you pick ‘X’ and so did he, you both would’ve been home being able to catch up properly.
#squid game#squid game season 2#squid game x reader#squid game s2#choi su bong angst#choi su bong#choi su bong x reader#su bong x reader#thanos squid game#thanos x reader#player 230 angst#player 230 x reader#player 230#squid game angst#squid game fic#squid game fanfic
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I'm not into angst but this one got me😩💙. Reading this fic I feel like I've just gone through a break up (I've never dated irl lol). If this is what break up feels like, then I'd never get into relationship😭.
nobody gets me, you did
more of a ramble than a drabble, tbh. small warnings just angst, mentions of drugs, reader is holding onto a shit relationship, toxic relationship, drinking,
MARCH FIFTHTEENTH
makeup was something that when you first met su-bong, you were worried that if you never wore it around him again he’d never wanna be seen with you. but the moment you finally saw him, bare face glowing after around a month of dating, eyes shining more than they ever had, he just got lost into them. you had to wave your hand in front of his face to get his attention again. he coughed before speaking up.
“no makeup?”
you do a light smile. you couldn’t tell if he meant that in a bad way or not. you shook your head nope.
“just me…”
he smiled before taking your hands in his.
“you should do this more often, señorita. i think i like this more.”
he wiggles his eyebrows and smirks, causing you to scoff. he strokes your cheek, pushing a strand of your hair behind your ear and you give him a small smile back, a light blush covering over your cheeks. he laughs a little before grabbing your hand in his and walking you around the block. just time to yourself. you both stand under a street light, it could blind you it was so bright. you go to sit on the bench but he grabs your wrist, stopping you. he pulls your wrist up to his shoulder and just looks down into your eyes before wrapping his other hand behind your head and pressing you into a deep kiss, eyes closed, filled with so much love before you reciprocate it. it felt amazing. like a movie. you just pull him into an embrace right after the kiss, feeling each others warmth. you weren’t that young so it couldn’t have been ‘silly young love’. you really thought you’d be with him forever. the world could just be so cruel though.
APRIL EIGHTEENTH
the same kiss, the same warmth of each other from the first time you showed him your real skin, you, who you really were underneath the makeup you thought he’d only love you for, except now rougher. more desperate. he hadn’t wasted much time trying to prep you, ignoring your whines of discomfort and pain, telling you it was because it was the first time in a while, you just had to get used to it, and of course, you agreed. even though he didn’t spend a moment trying to make you feel good except some kissing. even though all he cared about was his own high and you could tell, you decided to trust the one you thought you’d be marrying one day. the one you thought you’d never lose. because why wouldn’t you? the only aftercare, which isn’t even really aftercare he gave you was a kiss and a few hickeys before pulling up his boxers and turning over the opposite side of the bed. leaving you on your own without a good night. but his kiss was a good night so it was fine.
you had woken up later in the day, su-bong gone when you were awake. he texted saying he’d be back, but he never showed. didn’t answer your texts the whole day. it wasn’t until eleven at night’ that he finally messaged you, telling you to get ready and to come to the club. you hadn’t gone out with him in awhile there. but that was his thing. he always liked to party, and plus, that is how you two met, what’d you expect?
you arrive and immediately upon seeing you he gives you a side hug and ushers you to the bar. sure, you came to the club, but you didn’t intend on drinking much. you were probably going to be the one to drive home after all. but still, he encourages you to chug, claiming it was a flashback to how you guys used to party. and it was, but those weren’t the best times for either of you. it was the worst you’d ever seen him struggle with addiction and it’s the most you’ve ever wanted to die in your life. but you chug everything he tells you to. at first you had second thoughts but once you hit the fifth drink you just stopped thinking, head finally slumped on the bar, tired, a migraine already coming onto you before you feel yourself being lifted and you lift your head as much as you can to see who it is.
“can’t you stick it out baby? it’s only twelve, the night is still young!”
you were absolutely wasted and you couldn’t tell if he had gotten you this fucked up on purpose or if he was genuinely just too incompetent and out of his mind to have paid any mind.
“fuck that, su-bong, still young? no. i wanna go home.”
he begs you to just stay before getting frustrated and clicking his tongue, leaving you on your own. you were wasted but you weren’t fucking stupid. did he seriously just leave you on your own while you were drunk out of your mind? you stumble towards the exit door and go outside, sitting on a bench. you remember how awhile ago he would’ve grabbed your wrist and stopped you from sitting, kissing you and pulling you into him instead. you bite your lips and then the inside of your cheek, frustrated and upset with him, and now the memories start kicking in of what he would’ve done. but he was just drunk! he wasn’t thinking straight, it was fine. you guys were the same old same old, still as close as ever. he was your best friend. the only person who truly understood you. you look up, the street light looked dimmer tonight. you pull out your phone, noticing the screen start to blur because your eyes are watering. you blink a couple times before taking a deep breath and trying to buy an uber, sliding up to your messages after to curse at su-bong. so what if he saw it now or later and got pissed? he thinks this is just fucking okay?
—
APRIL NINETEENTH
“i don’t understand what the hell you’re so mad about! you didn’t have to come out if you didn’t want to.”
“really? you left me all by myself after getting me damn near black out fucking drunk and i had to call myself an uber!”
he mumbles something under his breath.
“i’ll pay you back then, jeez”
you heard that and slam your hands on the table.
“it’s not about the fucking money su-bong! i just want you to give a shit about me!”
“if you think I don’t give a shit about you then leave, nobody’s stopping you, the doors right there!”
he points at the door and tears start spilling out of your eyes, frustrated because clearly he could care less about you. care less about what happens to you.
“how am i supposed to let you go?”
he opens his mouth, probably to say something smart, but you cut him off.
“i only like myself when i’m with you. nobody gets me except for you! i cant just let you go su-bong! so how is it so easy for you to let me?”
you place your face in your sleeve and you start sobbing before feeling warmth around you again. just like that first month. under that bright street light and he wraps his arms around you and you just drop your arms to the side before he does a small laugh and grabs your arms, wrapping them around himself for you. he says nothing. no apology, no yelling, no ‘i was wrong’, no. just that and silence. but it wasn’t so bad. he was trying. that’s what you told yourself.
—
JUNE FIRST
you open up your phone and see the lock screen of you and su-bong from the first week you two got together. your bright smiles about to blind you. it was a sick reminder of how you two were now. if you were to look at any photos now, the smiles would seem so forced. sometimes he wouldn’t even try to smile at all. he didn’t even wanna take photos with you anymore. not even for a second. how were you supposed to tell him how you felt? he didn’t care. no, don’t think that! he cares about you a lot. he’s just overwhelmed. you’re overwhelming him too much and he needs some space. let him come to you. it’s your fault, you shouldn’t cling to him so much.
—
JUNE SIXTEENTH
he came home. you were sitting on your bed before he slams the door and climbs on top of you. you weren’t in the mood but you didn’t wanna deal with the yelling. you just wanted him to be happy. you suck the air through your teeth before looking the opposite direction of his face, refusing to look up at him.
“just hurry,”
you whispered out. you just wanted him to do what he wanted and avoid all confrontation.
“what? didn’t think you wanted a quickie, got somewhere to be baby?”
you just take a deep breath. you don’t want the past to come rolling into your head, memories where it was more than this. you just wanted him to hurry up and blow his load before you start thinking too much about it all. you shake your head refusing to respond to him and he just chases his high while you lay there like a doll before he finally finishes. you just push yourself up from underneath him and get up to leave.
“what? you’re not gonna stay over? i know i’m not the best at aftercare but you seem to like it.”
you keep your back facing him before you grab your jacket, mumbling a no and walking out the bedroom door, shutting it behind you. walking through the house before making it out the front door, biting your lip and holding the tears in. you knew he wasn’t the best person, but you guys were so close before. even his friends said you were the only girl that he’s actually treated like a human and not some whore off the street. so why, why was he doing this to you now? what happened to you guys?
—
JUNE SEVENTEENTH
you came over the next day, it was silent. uncomfortably silent. both of you refused to even make the slightest movement. you take a deep breath and swallow before letting out some quiet words, but he still heard them loud and clear.
“you know i love you for you, right?”
he looked at you like he didn’t know what you were talking about. like you were the one who was high right now.
“what are you talking about bab—”
you cut him off. you didn’t want to listen to his sweet talk, you didn’t want to fall into his traps, you didn’t want to listen to his voice, it all made you come crawling back.
“the drugs su-bong, you can’t keep doing this to yourself! i mean for gods sake, look at your fucking pupils!”
instead of listening to the concern and the words you said, all he heard was you yelling and so he just jumped to creating an argument with you. could he seriously not understand that you just wanted the best for him? that you’re worried about him? that when he treats you the fucking worst you still care and when he doesn’t show up the whole night you damn near have a fucking panic attack thinking he overdosed somewhere?
“su-bong please, i don’t wanna lose what’s left of you. i don’t even know who you are anymore!”
for once, instead of getting in your face or screaming insults and curses at you, he just throws on his jacket and leaves. copying what you did the night before. leaving you standing in the middle of the room biting the insides of your cheek. you felt more like a parent than a girlfriend to him. but sometimes you wonder now if he even thought of you as a girlfriend and he also thought of you as a parent as well? finding you a nuisance and a thorn in his side. all you wanted was for things to go back to the way they were. you weren’t asking him to change, you just wanted him to at least try, even if it all failed! knowing he tried would’ve helped you sleep at night. knowing he tried would’ve helped you a lot more if you had to sit at his funeral and mourn his loss. at least then you could act like he was a good person. a good boyfriend. but now, would you even show up to his funeral if he were to die? you didn’t know.
—
JUNE TWENTY-FIRST
he hadn’t texted you, not once. hadn’t called you. you only called him twice, scared that he’d call you desperate and clingy when really you were just worried. how could you know if he was dead or not. the dark circles under your eyes poking through more and more as the days go by. it isn’t until you open your phone and see that he posted a picture with a girl under that same fucking street light that you finally lose it. you throw your phone across the room, start knocking over anything you can move. you’d probably be called crazy. ‘over a guy you’ve only dated for a few months? no. you knew this guy for a long time before you dated. you were close. this was one of your best friends. he was your only best friend. the other ones you let go because you truly thought he was the only one who understood you. your phone still on the other side of the room you just drop to the ground before you slowly start to cry. tightly biting the inside of your cheek, tears rolling down before you start sobbing, louder and louder. the neighbors could probably hear you. you slam your arm into your face, this time feeling no warmth around you as you do so. you probably looked fucking pathetic right now. if you were su-bong, you wouldn’t take you back either. how could you date somebody else without seeing him in that person? without thinking about him? he didn’t even say goodbye. didn’t even have somebody else tell you goodbye for him. he was just gone.
—
JUNE TWENTY-SECOND
you visited that spot one last time. you told yourself it’s because you pass it on your way home but that’s not why. it was summer but there was no warmth there. the closer you got to that street lamp the colder you felt. the light was almost completely dimmed out, barely brightening up the street. it’d need replaced. just like apparently you did. the club was right behind you and you turn around for a brief moment before seeing that purple hair going the opposite direction. next to him a girl. and the lower your eyes go, you finally see their hands met together. you just stare before it all just gets darker around you. you look up and the street lamp was completely out. part of you begged that it would turn on just one more time, that it would get warmer just one last time, but it didn’t. the sounds of the buzzing lamp no longer there, no warmth whatsoever nearby, and no more light to guide you. you thought when you two had just been friends and you’d been partying every night that that was the lowest point in your life. but no. this was. you genuinely had no idea what you were meant to do without him.
—
JULY NINETEENTH
the amount of times you had to throw your phone across the room as to not text him or call him was way too many to count. you thought you were in hell. you didn’t leave your room, didn’t talk to anybody because the few times you did, the few times you tried to explain how you felt, nobody understood you. he would’ve understood you, you just knew it. you had to block him on everything as to not give in. the temptation to break your phone was honestly about to takeover. every notification you got, you immediately sprung up thinking that it was from him. every call you got, you prayed you’d see his name on your phone screen. but you knew he wouldn’t call until he was desperate for a new bitch. desperate for more sex. desperate for more attention. you thought you were his one, that’s what everyone told you. his friends for years told you that. you would never ever let him go. you would die without him. you’d give anything to hear him speak to you one last time. you pick up your phone, staring at it as if he’d just appear the longer you stared. but the only sign of su-bong was your lock screen. you still refused to change it. you two standing under that street light, bright smiles on your face blinding your eyes more than your tears ever would.
#squid game x reader#squid game#squid game angst#thanos x reader#thanos#thanos angst#player 230#player 230 x reader#player 230 angst#choi subong angst#choi subong#choi su bong angst#choi su bong x reader#choi subong x reader#choi su bong
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MEMORIES WE MADE BACK THEN !!
You and thanos knew eachother from way back then, maybe you'll both know eachother in the future too
Thanos x exmanager! Reader
Angst
Posting one last fic before I officially disappear
"Manager-nim !!" A all too familiar voice practically shouts in your ear, the deep tone sending shivers down your spine and the hair on your arms to stand up
You tilt your head, almost like a reflex as you turn around,
again, a all too familiar frown on your face, thanos thinks to himself
"What the" you mutter as you look at thanos, slightly taken back "What are you doing here" adding more sternly
Thanos shows off his row of pearly whites, his wide grin beaming only what could be defined as pure excitement
"Manager-nim" he calls out again, nudging you softly upon hearing your stern voice
to be fair you weren't his manager. Not anymore. Maybe back then when he was a rapper who seemed to have a promising future career but after his crypto scandel and drug scandel, not only did his career plummet but so did yours
No one wanted to hire a manager who couldn't even take care of their clients
You poke his arm, harsh
"Thanks what the hell are you doing here huh?" You scold him, it was almost a habit of yours, even back then
Thanos immediately moves away his arm with a smirk plastered on his face
"I know all your moves" he teases "cmon try hitting me again, i'll dodge them all-"
You hit him in his shoulder before he could finish his sentence causing him to wince
So dramatic...he should have been an actor instead, you think
"You still didn't answer my question" you say annoyed "prick" adding at the end
Even back then, you and Thanos didnt have the usual manger and client relationship that most entertainers have with their manager.
At the very beginning, you realised that it was impossible to have a civil relationship with Thanos, instead a sort of friendship blossomed between the both of you,
that is, if you consider whatever you and Thanos had going on back then as friendship
Things change though, relationships change aswell.
Your not his manager anymore and he's not your client anymore but you still call him a prick and he still addressed you the same way he addressed you years ago
So maybe not everything is different. Maybe you don't mind it all too much, he surely doesnt
"Agh" thanos scratches the back of his neck like he usually did when he felt awkward, no one knows that though, no one but you
"You know why, manager-nim"
You inwardly groan, ofcourse you know why, but that didn't mean that you wanted him to be stuck here in the games
"Fuck, i think i know why your here too" theres something unusual in his tone. It almost sounds like guilt
You look up to face the purple haired boy who is gazing at you, his lips tightened, drawn into a thin line which attempts to throw you a smile
Key word: attempt
"Yea" you shift uncomfortably, brushing your front hair behind your ears
You hit his shoulder, before locking arms around him "you prick, your still giving me trouble even when I've stopped being your manager"
You throw him your signature grin as you joke with him, it felt weird seeing him look guilty, it felt weird seeing how guilty he felt towards you
"Sorry manager-nim !" Thanos shouts outloud with a gleam in his eyes
You laugh softly at his action
Thanos sees you laugh, a fire is suddenly ignited in him to make you laugh even more
"Manager nim !!" He shouts even louder, shouting up at the sky before bowing at a perfect 90° angle "I'll try to disturb you even more from now on !!"
"Aish what the hell" your curse, though your smiling at his behavior "you haven't changed, your still annoying"
I like that you haven't changed
"Manager nim !!" Thanos screams again, wrapping his arms around you, causing you to you squeal as you cover his mouth to stop him from shouting
You don't notice the way thanos looks at you
I missed you
"Stop calling me that" you say, scolding him "im not your manager anymore remember? Just call me by my name"
"Okay !!" Thanos shoves two thumbs up into your face "ill make sure to do that from now on manager-nim !!"
No, not just "you"
You shake your head, what else did you expect?
"Fucking asshole" you smiling though, and so is the enthusiastic boy next to you
I missed "us"
₊˚。⋆❆⋆。˚₊
You watch horrified as some players come out of the bathroom, all bloody with cuts and wounds
Immediately your eyes search for Thanos, frantically hoping that nothing bad happened, holding your breath until you see thanos's limo figure being held by nam gyu who suffered similar wounds like his friend
Immediately your climb down your bunk bed, rushing towards thanos, helping support him along with nam gyu
"What the fuck happened?" You ask nam gyu, your eyes all widened as you soaked in the scene infront of you
Thanos coughs softly, you look at his face, seeing blood all over his shirt, a purple eye and cuts and wounds all over
"I asked you what the fuck happened?!" You shout even louder this time, the other players in the room murmer, also asking what happened in the bathroom
"These guys tried attacking us in the bathroom" nam gyu shouted, pointing at the players with the red X mark in their uniform
"They tried to force some people to change their vote !!" Someone shouts from the X group
Again, another fight emerges with players from the two sides screaming and shouting
However, your sole focus was on the retired rapper who groans in pain, holding his stomach
"Fuck thanos" you mutter as you lead him away from the crowd and to the bunk bed situated in a corner, making him to lie down
Your hands slowly cup his face, examining the scars and wounds on his face
"It was that scammer bastard" thanos growls under his breath before wincing at the pain
"Shut up" you whisper as you move his hair away from his face
"I- i was so angry" thanos says, you could hear the desperation in his voice, the anger "because of him, i lost everything" his voice cracks
All you could do was sit silently beside his bed, staring at his cuts, trying to clean it with your shirt, if that was even helping
"Thanos" you implore as you touch his arm "stop, there's no point in getting angry now, atleast not at this moment"
Thanos looks at you and your furrowed eyebrows, obviously furrowed in distress over his current state. He sees the grimace in your face as you look at his scars and the concern splattered all over your face
It was so reminiscent of the face you made when you first found out about his scandel
"I lost everything" thanos mutters "all I had. Gone down the drain, bye bye"
You shake your head, urging him to be quiet and rest
"Money, fame, respect" he states with a neutral tone "now that I think of it, if it had lost only thag then I would have been fine"
You look over him
"But i lost you too" thanos locks eyes with you "i wish i never lost you"
You stare at him, speechless, unsure of what to say or how to react
"Manager nim" he calls out with a uncharacteristic tone of softness, he looks at you with the same softness too
"Do you know why i really came here?" He laughs softly, mostly at himself, he feels so pathetic right now. Lying wounded and bleeding infront of the person who he had feelings for such a long time
So fucking embarrassing
"Why?" You ask apprehensively, not quite sure of ehat to expect
"To get rid of all the bad memories of the past. The memories of me getting scammed, people hating me, letting my fans down" he pauses "letting you down"
"I thought maybe if I came back with a lot of money i could erase all of that, fuck, i could rewrite everything if i could"
You bite you lower lip, unable to comfort the bow lying down beside you
"But sometimes" he breaths out lowly, before letting out a groan
You move towards him, supporting him to sit upright "but what?"
"Sometimes, when i remember bad memories from back then" thanos looks at you "i just think of you and remember all the good times we had together"
He stops, gazing at your face, his eyes wandering around all your features, trying to memorize them incase he never saw you again
"and then I realise that it wasnt all too bad" he let's out a half smile "maybe back then wasnt all too bad. Maybe I miss back then it's better then here anyways"
You unknowingly sniffle, trying to connect what thanos was trying to say, unsure of how to interpret his words
"Are you speaking in lyrics? Your being so confusing" you mumble softly "just speak straight"
"Are you gonna make me spell it out?"
Thanos smiles, showcasing all his teeth which was once pearly now remained stained red eith blood
"Y/n" he calls out your name "Let's get out of here"
his pinky touches yours "let's get out of here together, and make more memories for us to look back on and remember how we were, back then"
You pause, feeling the contact between his pinky and yours, you enclose it my interlocking your fingers with his
"Even better memories then back then" you whisper with a smile
"Hey" thanos nudges your head with his "as long as it's with you, i'll always look back at it and cherish it"
₊˚。⋆❆⋆。˚₊
The vip guest stares down, their usual excitement vanished as they watch the big screen
Though you could not see their faces, it was obvious that all of them seemed to have a glum expression on their face
"I have to say, im disappointed, for the first time actually at the death of a player" a vip member expresses
"Fuck, I was betting on them too" vip 5 bangs his cup on a table, agitation radiating out of his body
"That's why I told you, don't bet on your emotions" a high pitch snarl comes from vip 8 "your such a romanticist, that's your issue"
"So what?! Huh? What's your problem?" Vip 5 says defensively, angered by the comment
Vip 8 with the red gleaming dress simply shrugs taking a sip of champagne
"I have to admit though" another voice interjects from another vip member "I was kind of rooting for them"
"You were?" Another voice asksd
"Hey!" The vip member holds up his hand with a chuckle as if he was being interrogated "you automatically find yourself rooting for young love don't you? Your halfway through and you don't even realise it"
Vip 5 nodds eagerly, pointing his hands at the vip who said that
Some other vips agree while some disagree
"The only thing i'll admit though" vip 8, Stands up from her seat, here red gown training behind her as she walks towards the screen
She, along with all the other vip members watch as the pink guards place you and thanos's lifeless bodies into the coffin after the aftermath of the ambush fight that occurred a few nights after your conversation.
"I was looking foreword to know what kind of memories they were planning to make with one another"
#squid game 2#squid game#fanfic#choi su bong#squid game season 2#squid game x reader#squid game angst#squid game 2 x reader#thanos x reader#thanos#thanos squid game#thanos angst#choi su bong x reader#choi subong#choi su bong angst#su bong#su bong x reader#t.o.p#t.o.p x reader#squid game x you#squid game thanos#thanos fanfic
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HOW SQUID GAME 2 MEN WOULD TREAT YOU!
pairings! : kang dae-ho (player 388) x fem! reader, park gyeong-seok (player 246) x fem! reader, lee myung-gi (player 333) x fem!reader, park min-su (player 125) x fem! reader and choi su-bong/ thanos (player 230) x fem! reader
warnings! : mentions of panic attacks, smut, dr*g usage, mentions of violence (fighting), a tinsy bit of angst. let me know if i forgot anything!!
will contain sfw and nsfw headcannons!!
1. KANG DAE-HO
sfw.
- this man would be the softest, cutest, most caring man when it comes to you!
- if you guys are in the games, you are his first priority and will always make sure your health is 100%. gives you his food if you’re still that finest but hungry after dinner and pretends he doesn’t want it so you don’t feel bad.
- insists you make friends with people so that you’re safe in here. drags you over to his new group who give you a warm welcome. they make sure you’re safe throughout every game which you’re extremely thankful for.
- after the riot, he comes back shaking and sweating. you can tell he’s having a panic attack due to the gunshots reminding him of his time in the marines. you’ve have experience with this so you instantly leave your conversation with hyun-ju and jun-hee.
- you comb your fingers through his hair in an attempt to calm him down which works. you also rub his back and clear the sweat from his forehead whilst telling him it’s okay and you have him.
- it works and he’s calm.
nsfw.
- soft dom. wants you to feel as calm and comfortable as possible.
-deffo likes missionary and when you ride him so he can look at your face and wipe sweat from your forehead. he praises you like crazyyyyy and you would never hear anything degrading fall from his lips. ever.
-gives you little pecks on your neck which get more light and feather-y when leading down to your chest.
- when your legs get tired he can tell and flips you over to help you finish the job. makes sure you’ve came and you feel good before he does. just like he prioritises your safety in the games, he prioritises your enjoyment in the bedroom.
-he’s big with aftercare. wether you want a bath ran with rose petals and wine plus his company or just a wipe down and a massage you’ll get what you want because he loves you sosososo much.
-will make sure you’ve drifted off before he has. cuddles you from behind like a big bear!
2. PARK GYEON-SEOK
sfw.
- also prioritises your safety in the games. he’s gentle with you and you stick with him the whole time.
- he tells you about nayeon and his unfortunate position which you completely understand and you want to help him when the pair of you get out.
- will peck you before bed which the other guys think is soooo cute. he gets a little shy when they mention it. if anything occurs during the night, he’ll rush by your side and protect you at all costs.
- when the riot occurs you had preferred him not to go in case anything happened, only thinking of nayeon. when he’s not back for a while and eveyonr else is, you panic, big time.
- with tears escaping your eyes and several of the girls comforting you, a figure runs towards you. it’s none other than him! you’re super relived and you calm down when he convinces you that he’s completely fine.
- when you guys get out, you meet nayeon who’s absolutely adores you and gets all smiley when you’re around. she looks up to you as a motherly figure. when she’s better due to the money you both earned from the gruelling games, her hair grows back which you braid and style with clips everyday.
nswf.
- he fucks you slowly so you can feel every last drop of intimacy and love his man is pouring into your experience with him. also likes positions where he can admire your face.
- is vocal but not too vocal so you’ll hear a grunt and or a deep moan every now and again.
- another soft dom. doesn’t use toys or anything like that and likes it pure and simple. he’s a bit old fashioned so if you want anything like that he wouldn’t be too sure about it.
- eats you out with so much care and stops every few minutes to kiss your clit. this sends shivers down your spine. you grip his hair which spurs him on a little.
- makes sure you clean and happy after sex and sometimes falls asleep before you if he’s had a long day due to work or taking care of his daughter. you don’t mind bescuse you get to admire his beautiful face whilst he gets some rest.
3. LEE MYUNG-GI
sfw.
- makes sure you stick with him the whole time because he doesn’t want to have encounters with the wrong people like thanos who’s had his eye on you a couple times.
- gets into fights all the time, some of which revolve around you and his relationship with you. after he comes back with new bruises, you kiss them and urge him to stop getting into silly cat fights to which he rolls his eyes but agrees
- he has a soft spot for you and doesn’t really care about anyone else. always has an eye on you and during the mingle game you never. ever. leave his side.
- protects you and himself in fights during the night. will fight off anyone who even looks at you during them.
- during the riot, assures you all is okay and you’ll be fine. he was right. and when you guys get out, he takes care of you so well after you force him to pay off his debts to others which he didn’t really want to do.
nsfw.
- is more rough with you but still a soft dom. will degrade you from time to time with names like slut but nothing too heavy.
- will draw multiple orgasms from within you which leaves you seeing stars. he makes sure your always okay though.
- always comes in you and likes when you pull his hair or scratch his back while you’re getting off. he is much more vocal than the other guys and you guys’ moans combine to make a beautiful symphony.
- will wipe you down after sex but doesn’t do too much aftercare for you. he will run his fingers through your hair or massages you. makes sure you pee straight after because he read somewhere that you can get a UTI if you don’t which worries him.
-makes sure you fall asleep before him because he’s a gentleman.
4. PARK MIN-SU
sfw.
- is extremely sweet to you and loves you so much. initially didn’t want you to join the games with him but didn’t stop you.
- unfortunately he cannot protect you very well so most of the time during the night you’re the one fending for both of you but it’s okay because you love him.
- doesn’t speak up when thanos or any of his other leeches makes comments about you purely because he’s too timid to do anything. you stick up for yourself which he’s proud of you for.
- you comfort eachother during the riot
- when you guys get out you live a pretty peaceful and calm life which he enjoys and he pays for you guys’ meals out and pays for stuff he thinks you’d like which you find very sweet.
i didn’t write anything nsfw for min-su because i just can’t think of him doing anything like that 😭 sorry.
5. CHOI SU-BONG (thanos)
sfw.
- will call you names like señorita which you weren’t too fond of at first but the more he said it the more it grew on you.
-offers you his silly pills which you sternly reject. he doesn’t say anything more of them to you. you hate the fast that he takes them but you don’t want to nag him about it.
- during mingle, he physically kicks people away in order to secure a room for you guys which you think is wrong but you don’t say anything. after he notices you crying he quickly hugs you and tells you you’ll be fine which doesn’t really work but you stop crying anyway.
- drags you everywhere with him and makes you sit with his group who you don’t like at all besides se-mi who you grow fond of. when she changes her mind to X you knew it wouldn’t end well for her. you were correct.
- during night fights, you’re 100% safe because no- one would dare to do anything to you because they know what a nut job thanos is.
nswf.
- will fuck you rough and hard.
- also makes you come several times and might even make you squirt! doesn’t care where you guys are, sex is sex and he’s willing to get off if you are
- doesn’t really matter to him wether you come or not because all long as he has, eveything is good. pops a pill during it to increase him stamina which is already high enough.
- several rounds with him and you get overstimulated by the third one. he wants to go for a forth but you have to make it extremely clear that your body can’t handle it anymore.
- he likes doggy because then he can get nice and deep within your velvety walls. quite vocal and groans loudly, many even louder than you. degrading, toys and tears are alll his stimulants and will drive him on further.
- doesn’t have a clue about aftercare and will simply let out a loud and deep sigh after tying up the rubber and flop straight onto his back. he’s out like a light and is already sleeping deeply.
- your used to it so you just mirror his loud sigh and turn over and fall asleep aswell.
- hope you guys enjoyed this! if you want a version for the squid game girls (both s1 +2) lmk!!
#fypage#fluff fic#player 246#player 333#player 230#player 125#player 388#smut#kdrama#squid game#squid game x reader#thanos#thanos smut#squid game smut#squid game season 2#angst#choi su bong x reader#choi su bong smut#park gyeong seok#park min su#lee myung gi#kang dae ho
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Parting Gift - Player 230
Dark!Thanos/Choi Su-bong x Fem!Reader
This is part 2 of my mini series love ridden (you don’t have to read part 1 but it helps you get a deeper understanding of their relationship)
Warnings: Toxic relationship,Emotional manipulation and gaslighting, DUBCON/implied sexual misconduct, power imbalances and coercion,mentions of substance abuse,threats of self-harm, mentions of bruising, vomiting, unreliable memory
Summary: “It ended bad, but I love what we started.” A night out, was supposed to be a distraction, a step to moving on. Instead it leaves you questioning everything. Loosely inspired by Parting gift-Fiona apple
MINORS DNI!
A/n: ahhhh here it is! This is very much a wild ride so be prepared and get comfortable lol. Lmk if yall fw. I love feedback. Lmk what you think!!
……………………..
“Two years.”
It echoes in your head as you stare at your phone. The screen blinks, illuminating the dark, quiet apartment, and your reflection stares back at you. Hollow eyes. Lifeless skin.
You don’t even recognize yourself anymore.
Two years of late nights.
Two years of broken promises.
Two years of fights that always ended the same way — with you apologizing for things you hadn’t even done.
Two years of Su-bong.
The notifications keep coming.
Messages. Missed calls. Voicemails.
You blocked him a week ago. You had to.
Before that, you let the calls go unanswered. You left his texts on read. But after that voicemail, you couldn’t take it anymore.
It wasn’t just the things he said.
It was the way he sounded.
Drunk. High out of his mind. Slurring his words like he could barely get them out.
You’d heard him like that before, of course. Countless times. But this was different.
The shaking breath at the beginning of the message.
The muffled sound of a bottle cap hitting the floor.
The distinct rattle of a pill bottle.
And then his voice —
Low. Rough. Desperate.
“You know, if you don’t fucking answer me…”
There was a pause. You could hear him breathing.
“Maybe I should just end it all.”
Another pause. Longer this time.
The sound of pills being shaken in his hand.
“It’s in your hands now.”
You remember sitting on the floor of your new apartment, the phone clutched in your hands, shaking so hard you thought you might drop it.
That was the breaking point.
You blocked him.
It was hard. Very hard.
What if he was serious?!
What if he did it and it was your fault?!
But it didn’t stop the nightmares.
It’s been a month since the breakup, and you haven’t left your apartment in days.
The dishes are piled up in the sink. Your laundry is overflowing.
You haven’t brushed your hair in three days.
The weight of it all feels suffocating.
You thought leaving him would make you feel free.
Instead, you feel empty.
When your phone buzzes again, you ignore it.
It’s probably Ji-hye.
She’s been trying to get you to go out for weeks.
“You need to live a little,” she said last time you saw her.
But you don’t feel like living.
Still, when your phone buzzes again, you pick it up.
Ji-hye ★ˎˊ˗ (9:17 PM): Come out with us tonight. Please?
Ji-hye ★ˎˊ˗ (9:18 PM): There’s a new club opening in Itaewon. It’ll be fun.
Ji-hye ★ˎˊ˗ (9:19 PM): I’m not taking no for an answer.
You stare at the messages for a long time.
The thought of going to a club makes your stomach turn.
You haven’t been out in two years.
You haven’t been you in two years.
But the apartment feels too small.
Too quiet.
Too empty.
Fuck it.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
The shower burns your skin.
You scrub until you feel raw, as if you can wash away the last two years.
But no amount of scrubbing erases the bruises —
The ones he left on your heart.
When you step out, you wipe the fogged mirror and stare at your reflection.
Your hair is a tangled mess.
Your eyes are rimmed with dark circles.
You look like someone who’s been barely holding it together.
This isn’t who I am, you tell yourself.
You plug in your hair straightener. You do your makeup.
By the time you’re done, you almost feel like yourself again.
You rifle through your closet, pulling out a black dress you haven’t worn in years. It still fits — snug and short, hugging your body in a way that feels foreign after months of oversized hoodies and leggings.
When you step into your heels, you wobble for a second.
It’s been so long since you’ve worn anything but sneakers.
But when you look in the mirror again —
You see her.
The girl you used to be.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Ji-hye and her friends are already tipsy when you meet them outside the club.
She squeals when she sees you.
“Look at you! You look amazing!”
You try to smile, but it feels forced.
The club is packed.
Neon lights pulse to the beat of the music.
Bodies move together on the dance floor.
Ji-hye hands you a shot as soon as you walk in.
“Drink up!”
You down it quickly, the burn making you wince.
“Another?”
Why not?
By the time you lose count, you’ve had at least six shots.
Maybe more.
You stopped counting after the first round of tequila.
The room spins slightly, but you feel good.
Better than you’ve felt in weeks.
You laugh with Ji-hye.
You dance with strangers.
For the first time in a long time, you feel free.
And then you see him.
At first, you think your eyes are playing tricks on you.
But when you blink, he’s still there.
Su-bong.
He’s standing near the bar, his eyes locked on you.
His hair is messy, his shirt unbuttoned at the top.
He looks the same as he always does —
Rough around the edges, disheveled in that careless way that made you fall for him in the first place.
But there’s something in his eyes —
Something dark.
Your stomach twists.
The room feels too hot.
You grab Ji-hye’s arm.
“Ji-hye. Is he…?”
Her eyes widen.
“Oh shit.”
“What the fuck is he doing here?”
She bites her lip, looking guilty.
“I didn’t know. I swear. But he’s friends with Seung-ho.”
She nods toward one of the guys in their group — a guy you don’t know well.
Of course.
Of fucking course.
Your heart pounds in your chest, a wild, frantic beat.
You down another shot, your hands shaking slightly.
Maybe if you ignore him, he’ll go away.
But he doesn’t.
When you look up again, he’s moving toward you.
You see him before he speaks.
The way he weaves through the crowd, his gaze locked on you like he’s on a mission.
You look away.
You try to pretend you didn’t see him.
But it’s too late.
He’s right there.
“Hey.”
His voice cuts through the noise, low and rough.
You don’t turn around.
You keep your eyes on your drink, your knuckles white as you grip the glass.
“I didn’t know you came here.”
He leans in closer, his breath warm against your ear.
Your whole body goes stiff.
“Fuck off, Su-bong.”
Your voice is steady, but your heart is pounding.
He doesn’t move.
Instead, he slides into the seat next to you.
Like he belongs there.
Like nothing happened.
“Come on,” he says, his tone light, almost teasing. “You’re really not even going to say hi?”
You turn to him, your eyes flashing.
“Why would I?”
He shrugs, like it’s the most obvious thing in the world.
“Because you missed me.”
You laugh, but there’s no humor in it.
“Missed you?”
You set your drink down, leaning closer.
“You left me voicemails threatening to fucking kill yourself. Do you know how fucked up that is?”
His expression doesn’t change.
He doesn’t flinch.
Instead, he tilts his head, studying you.
“Did it scare you?”
Your blood runs cold.
“What?”
“Did it scare you?” he repeats, his voice soft.
“Did you think I was going to do it?”
You stare at him, horrified.
“What the fuck is wrong with you?”
His lips twitch into something that might be a smile — but there’s no warmth in it.
“I just wanted to talk to you,” he says, his tone almost casual.
“And you wouldn’t answer. You wouldn’t talk to me.”
“So you thought threatening to kill yourself was the way to get my attention?”
Your voice is shaking now, anger and fear mixing in your chest.
He doesn’t answer.
Instead, he reaches for your hand.
And you’re too stunned to pull away.
“I missed you,” he says softly.
“I don’t know what to do without you.”
You rip your hand away, standing up so fast your chair scrapes against the floor.
“Don’t fucking do that.”
Your voice is loud now, cutting through the music.
“Don’t pretend you’re some fucking victim.”
His expression hardens.
“I’m not pretending.”
“You are.”
You step closer, your chest heaving.
“You always do this. You always make it about you. Like your fucking pain is the only thing that matters.”
He stands up slowly, towering over you.
“I’m in pain because of you.”
You scoff, shaking your head.
“That’s bullshit.”
“Don’t lie to yourself.”
His voice is low now. Dangerous.
“You love me.”
Your hands tremble at your sides.
“I don’t.”
“Yes, you do.”
He steps closer.
“I know you do. You wouldn’t be this angry if you didn’t.”
You hate how he gets in your head.
How he twists your words.
“I don’t love you,” you say again, but it sounds weaker this time.
He leans in, his breath brushing against your cheek.
“Then why haven’t you moved on?”
The question hits you like a punch to the gut.
And you don’t have an answer.
“Let’s go outside,” he says.
His voice is softer now, coaxing.
“It’s too loud in here.”
You hesitate.
“Please.”
He reaches for your hand again, and this time, you don’t pull away.
“Just talk to me.”
Your heart is pounding.
Your mind is spinning.
And against your better judgment —
You follow him.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
The alleyway outside the club smells like cigarette smoke and spilled beer.
You cross your arms over your chest, shivering slightly. The night air feels too cold against your skin, cutting through the warmth of the alcohol.
Su-bong lights a cigarette, his hands shaking slightly as he brings it to his lips.
For a moment, neither of you speak.
Then —
“What do you want from me?”
Your voice cuts through the quiet, sharp and strained.
He exhales a cloud of smoke, his gaze steady on you.
“I just want you.”
You laugh, bitter and harsh.
“Do you even hear yourself? You had me, Su-bong. You had me for two fucking years, and you—”
Your voice cracks.
“You fucking broke me.”
His jaw tightens.
“I never wanted to hurt you.”
“But you did.”
Your chest heaves, your breath fogging in the cold air.
“Over and over again.”
“I know.”
He takes a step closer.
“And I’m sorry.”
It’s the softness in his voice that undoes you.
That fucking softness.
Because for a split second —
You almost believe him.
“I never wanted to hurt you.”
His words hang in the air between you, soft and deliberate, like he’s trying to carve them into your skin. And you hate how much they make your chest ache.
You hate that it’s him standing here, saying these things. Again.
“You say that like it fucking matters.” Your voice comes out steadier than you feel. “Like it changes anything.”
He exhales smoke, eyes never leaving yours. “It does matter.”
“No, it doesn’t.” You shake your head, your arms tightening around yourself like it’s the only thing holding you together. “You’ve hurt me too many times for it to matter.”
A pause.
A flicker of something in his eyes.
And then, softly —
“I couldn’t stop.”
The words hit you harder than you want them to.
Your chest tightens, your mind flashing back to the nights he stumbled through the door, high and out of it, mumbling half-assed apologies through the haze.
“I don’t know how to stop,” he continues, his voice quiet. “Not without you.”
You close your eyes, willing the tears to stay put.
“You can’t keep doing this,” you whisper. “You can’t keep blaming me for your fucking choices.”
“I’m not.”
“Then what the fuck is this?” You gesture between the two of you, your voice rising. “What do you think you’re doing right now?”
“I’m trying to fix it.”
Your laugh is sharp, bitter. “Fix it? You can’t fix this, Su-bong. You can’t.”
He flinches at the way your voice cracks.
But he doesn’t back down.
“I can try.”
You shake your head, the weight of it all pressing down on you. The months of pain, the sleepless nights, the voicemail that still echoes in your mind.
“You’re fucking selfish.”
His jaw clenches, but he doesn’t deny it.
“You don’t love me,” you say, and it feels like you’re ripping your own heart out. “You love what I do for you. You love having someone to pick up the pieces when you fall apart. Someone to save you.”
“That’s not true.”
“Isn’t it?” Your chest heaves. “You only ever show up when you’re desperate. When you need something. And I’m fucking done being that person for you.”
He takes a step closer, the cigarette forgotten between his fingers, burning down to the filter.
“I don’t want anyone else.”
You hate the way your heart twists.
“I want you.”
You shake your head again, but it’s weaker this time.
“I love you.”
And there it is.
Those three fucking words.
The words that used to make your heart explode. The words that used to make you believe in him, in a future that never existed.
“I can’t do this without you,” he says, and his voice breaks, just a little. “I’ve tried, Y/N. I’ve tried to be better, but I’m fucking lost without you.”
Your hands tremble at your sides.
“You’re only lost because you never tried to find yourself,” you whisper. “You’ve always expected me to do it for you.”
His eyes soften, that familiar vulnerability creeping in.
“I’m trying now.”
“No, you’re not.” You take a step back. “You’re trying to pull me back in. That’s all you ever do.”
A beat of silence.
Then —
“I miss you.”
The words cut through the night, soft and raw.
And you feel yourself wavering.
Fuck.
You press your palms to your face, trying to breathe, trying to steady yourself.
“You don’t get it,” you whisper. “You don’t get what you did to me.”
He takes another step closer, so close now that you can feel the heat of his body.
“I never stopped loving you.”
Your chest heaves, your heart pounding.
“I don’t want to hear that.”
“You need to.”
“No, I fucking don’t.” Your voice cracks, tears burning at the edges of your eyes. “What I need is to move on.”
His hand reaches out, tentative, trembling.
But when his fingers brush against your arm-
You flinch.
It’s instinctive.
A reaction you couldn’t stop if you tried.
And the look on his face?
It’s devastating.
He pulls his hand back slowly, like he’s been burned.
“I’m not him anymore.”
The words are quiet, almost desperate.
“I’m not the guy who fucked up. I’m not the guy who hurt you.”
“You are.” Your voice is soft, but firm. “You’ll always be that guy, Su-bong.”
His gaze drops to the ground, and for a moment, you think he’s going to give up.
But then he looks up again.
“I just want to talk,” he says. “Five minutes. That’s all I’m asking.”
You hesitate.
The rational part of you — the part that’s spent the last month piecing yourself back together — is screaming at you to walk away.
But your heart?
Your heart is still caught in the web he’s spun around you.
“ we’re already talking…” you slightly slur your words, the alcohol taking full effect.
“Five minutes,” he says again, softer this time. “At my place. Please.”
And against your better judgment —
You nod.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~
You wake to the sensation of weight.
Heavy. Suffocating.
An arm draped over your waist. A body pressed too close, warm breath against the back of your neck.
And for one blissful second, you’re still half asleep. Still caught in that hazy space between dreams and reality, your mind fogged over with sleep, soft and pliant.
But then your eyes open.
And everything sharpens.
The bedroom is dark — curtains drawn, faint slivers of morning light sneaking through the cracks. The air is stale, tinged with cigarette smoke and something faintly metallic. It smells familiar.
And the weight around your waist?
It’s Su-bong.
Your stomach lurches.
No. No, no, no.
You squeeze your eyes shut, your heart pounding in your chest, the dull ache between your temples throbbing harder with each beat. Your mind scrambles to piece together how the fuck you ended up here. The last thing you remember clearly is the club — Ji-hye pulling you onto the dance floor, shots of tequila burning your throat, the neon lights swirling around you.
And then —
His voice.
His hands.
And now you’re here. In his bed.
You hold your breath, every muscle in your body going rigid. His arm is still heavy across your waist, his hand curled loosely against your hip, fingers twitching like he’s dreaming.
Carefully — so carefully — you think maybe you can slip out from under him.
Carefully, you reach for his wrist, your fingers trembling as you try to lift his arm off you. The sheet rustles softly, the sound too loud in the suffocating silence. You freeze, your breath hitching.
He stirs.
A small, unconscious noise slips from his throat, his fingers curling slightly against your hip.
Your heart slams against your ribs.
Please don’t wake up.
You stay frozen, your body stiff, your breath shallow. His arm feels impossibly heavy against your waist, like it’s anchoring you to the mattress. Slowly — so slowly — you ease it off you, inch by inch, until it finally falls to the bed.
He murmurs something in his sleep, low and unintelligible.
You freeze again, your pulse roaring in your ears.
He doesn’t wake.
You let out a shaky breath, the sound barely audible, and sit up as quietly as you can. The room tilts slightly as you do, your head pounding with a dull, persistent ache. You press a hand to your temple, blinking against the dizziness.
The sheets are tangled around your legs, the fabric twisted and damp with sweat. You untangle yourself carefully, your fingers trembling, your movements slow and deliberate.
His body shifts slightly behind you, his breathing deepening for a moment before settling back into a steady rhythm.
Move.
You swing your legs over the edge of the bed, the floor cold against your bare feet. The hem of your dress rides up as you stand, the fabric wrinkled and twisted, clinging to your skin.
You glance back at him, your chest tight.
He’s still asleep.
But his face is turned toward you now, his hair falling into his eyes, his lips parted slightly. He looks softer like this, his usual sharp edges dulled by sleep.
It makes your stomach turn.
Focus.
You force your gaze away, scanning the room for your things.
Your phone.
Your purse.
Where the fuck are they?
The panic sets in slowly, creeping up your spine like cold water, inch by inch. You scan the room, searching for your things, but the room looks almost exactly the same as when you left a month ago.
Cluttered. Messy. The ashtray on the nightstand is overflowing. Empty bottles litter the floor. The same crumpled blankets. The same cigarette burns in the carpet.
Like time stood still.
Like he hasn’t moved on.
Your stomach twists painfully, nausea creeping in at the edges. You stand, your legs unsteady, your head pounding. The ache in your body — between your thighs, in the muscles of your legs — is impossible to ignore.
You take a step toward the bathroom, your hands trembling as you reach for the door handle. You need a moment to breathe. To think.
To figure out what the fuck happened.
The bathroom is as grim as you remember. The light flickers when you turn it on, casting everything in a sickly yellow glow. The mirror is streaked with water stains, the sink cluttered with half-used toiletries.
You close the door behind you, locking it with a shaky hand.
And then you catch your reflection.
Your lipstick is barely there anymore, smudged at the edges. Your mascara streaked under your eyes. Your hair is a tangled mess, the carefully straightened strands now knotted and frizzy.
But it’s the rest of you that makes your breath catch.
The dress you wore last night is twisted around your waist, the hem wrinkled and pulled too high. Your thighs are bare. You pull at the fabric, tugging it down, but your hands freeze when you see the faint bruises.
Finger-shaped bruises.
They’re light, barely there, but you know what they are.
Your stomach drops.
You lift the hem of your dress higher, revealing more bruises along your inner thighs. Some small, faint smudges of blue and purple. Some darker.
You press your fingers to them, your skin flinching under your own touch.
Did I fall?
Did I—
Your mind races, scrambling for an explanation, for anything that makes sense.
And then your eyes flicker lower.
Your underwear is backward.
You stare for a long moment, your brain struggling to catch up with what you’re seeing. The waistband digs awkwardly into your hips, the tag twisted around to the front.
You blink.
Once.
Twice.
Your stomach churns violently.
You lift the toilet lid, falling to your knees as you retch. There’s nothing in your stomach but bile, burning its way up your throat.
When you’re done, you sit back on your heels, wiping your mouth with the back of your hand. The bathroom spins around you, your head pounding, your chest heaving with shallow breaths.
You reach for the sink, pulling yourself up slowly, your hands gripping the edge so tightly your knuckles turn white.
Your eyes flicker back to your reflection.
The bruises.
The backward underwear.
The ache between your legs.
Did we—
No.
No, no, no.
You grip the sink harder, your nails digging into the porcelain.
‘I don’t remember.’
That’s the worst part.
You don’t remember anything.
You remember seeing him at the club. You remember yelling at him, calling him out for the voicemail. You remember him pulling you outside, the alley reeking of cigarette smoke and beer.
And then it’s all a blur.
Flashes of his voice. His hand on your arm. The way he looked at you — dark, desperate.
But nothing else.
Your chest tightens painfully.
You want to leave.
You need to leave.
You unlock the bathroom door with shaking hands, your heart pounding in your chest as you step back into the bedroom.
But when you step inside —
He’s awake.
Su-bong is sitting on the edge of the bed, his elbows resting on his knees, his fingers tangled in his hair. He looks up when he hears you, his gaze locking on yours.
And the first thing you notice?
He’s sober.
There’s no haze in his eyes. No slurred speech. No unsteady hands.
He’s completely sober.
Your stomach twists painfully.
“Morning.”
His voice is soft, tentative.
Like he’s testing the waters.
You don’t say anything.
You take a step toward the nightstand, searching for your phone. Your purse. Anything.
But he stands up slowly, blocking your path.
“Hey.”
His voice is softer now, coaxing.
“You don’t have to run.”
Your hands tremble at your sides.
“I don’t remember anything,” you whisper, your voice cracking. “I don’t—”
“I know.” His eyes soften, his brows pulling together in that familiar expression of concern. “You were really drunk.”
Your heart sinks.
“What happened?”
He exhales slowly, running a hand through his hair. “You saw me at the club. You… you wanted to come back here.”
You shake your head, your stomach churning.
“I don’t remember that.”
You must’ve been really drunk because from what you remember you weren’t exactly happy too see him. How did you go from fighting with him to begging to be back at his apartment?
“You were drunk,” he says again, like it’s the answer to everything. “It’s okay. I took care of you.”
Your chest tightens painfully.
The bruises.
The backward underwear.
The ache.
“What do you mean, you took care of me?”
His gaze flickers away for a moment, his jaw tightening.
“You wanted to come back,” he says softly. “You told me you missed me. That you wanted to… you know. Talk. Figure things out.”
Your mind spins, scrambling to fill in the blanks.
“I don’t remember,” you whisper again, your voice shaking.
“I know.” He steps closer, his voice low, soothing. “It’s okay. I missed you too.”
He reaches for your hand, his fingers brushing yours.
You flinch.
But he doesn’t pull back.
“I missed you,” he says again, his voice softening. “I love you.”
The words hit you like a punch to the gut. They only hurt so bad because he was saying them now. After everything.
And for a moment —
You don’t know what to believe.
“You were wasted, Y/N.”
His words come soft, careful, like he’s tiptoeing around something fragile. His body language matches it — slouched shoulders, a furrowed brow, the faintest slump in his posture like he’s weighed down by concern.
Your stomach churns.
“I… I wasn’t that drunk.” The words feel hollow as they leave your mouth. A lie to yourself, as much as to him. You’d lost count at six shots. At least six. Maybe more.
His lips press into a thin line, a faint shake of his head following. “You could barely stand.”
Your hands curl into fists at your sides, knuckles trembling.
“I don’t remember…” You force the words out, hating how small they sound, how they let the power tip toward him.
He exhales slowly, running a hand down his face.
“I don’t know what you want me to say. You were crying. Saying you missed me. That you needed me.” He pauses, eyes meeting yours, steady and unwavering. “What was I supposed to do, huh? Just leave you there?”
The breath punches out of you. Crying? Saying you missed him? Needed him?
That couldn’t be true. That can’t be true.
But your mind betrays you. A flash of his hands steadying you on the dance floor. His voice coaxing you into the alley. The warmth of his hand brushing yours.
Pieces fall together, but the picture is fractured, missing the crucial moments. And that’s what he’s counting on.
“I don’t…” Your voice cracks, a fresh wave of panic rolling through you. “I wouldn’t—”
“You did,” he says firmly. Not loud, but firm enough that it cuts through your protest. “You were falling apart, Y/N. I couldn’t just—” He stops, dragging his hand through his hair like he’s trying to collect himself. “I had to help you.”
Help you.
The bruises on your thighs burn like a brand.
“By bringing me here?” you snap, your voice rising. “By—by—” You stop yourself before the question comes tumbling out: Did you touch me?
His face hardens just slightly, enough to send a shiver skittering down your spine. “I wasn’t going to let you go home alone. Not like that. You don’t even know what could’ve happened.”
“What do you mean what could’ve happened?” Your voice cracks, pitching higher, panic seeping in. “What did happen?”
He holds your gaze, and for a moment, his expression softens again. “Nothing happened.”
The words should feel like a relief. They don’t.
“Nothing?” Your voice is small, but there’s a sharp edge to it.
“Nothing,” he repeats, stepping closer. Too close. “You needed me, Y/N. And I was there for you. Like I always have been.”
Always.
Your mind spirals, reaching for anything concrete, any moment from last night that you can grab onto. But it’s all a haze, smothered by the tequila and the smoke and him.
“I don’t…” You press a hand to your temple, the ache blooming there sharp and relentless. “I don’t remember asking to come back here.”
His hand reaches out, brushing against your arm, and you flinch without meaning to.
His eyes darken at that. “You’re scared of me now?”
You want to say yes. But the word lodges itself in your throat, too big to swallow, too dangerous to spit out.
“I’m not scared of you,” you lie.
“Then why are you acting like this?” His voice is soft, low, almost tender. “I didn’t do anything wrong, Y/N. I just—” He stops, his jaw clenching. “I just wanted to make sure you were okay. And now you’re looking at me like I’m a fucking monster.”
He steps closer. You step back. The space between you feels like it’s shrinking, suffocating.
“Why am I here, Su-bong?” Your voice is stronger now, the edge of panic sharpening it. “Why the fuck was I in your bed?”
He tilts his head slightly, his brows knitting together like you’ve just said something unreasonable. “You wanted to be here.”
“No.” You shake your head, your chest tightening. “I didn’t. I wouldn’t—” Your voice cracks, the words tangling in your throat. “I don’t even remember coming back with you.”
His expression doesn’t shift. “You were drunk,” he says simply. “You don’t have to make this a big deal.”
You laugh — bitter, sharp. “Not a big deal?” The words tumble out before you can stop them. “Not a big fucking deal? I don’t even know what happened, Su-bong. I don’t—” Your breath hitches, your stomach twisting violently. The next words catch in your throat, almost too heavy to force out. “Did we—”
You can’t say it. You can barely think it.
“Did we have sex?”
He doesn’t react right away. Not outwardly. But you catch it — the faint flicker of tension in his jaw, the way his gaze shifts to the side before finding yours again.
“Why would you ask me that?” His voice is steady, but there’s something too measured about it, like he’s rehearsed this answer in his head a thousand times.
“Because I don’t fucking know,” you snap, your hands trembling. They curl into fists at your sides, shaking with every ragged breath. “My underwear’s on backwards, Su-bong. I have bruises. And you’re acting—” You stop yourself, your throat tightening painfully. “You’re acting like you did something.”
His jaw tightens again, and this time his tongue darts out, wetting his lips. He exhales slowly, dragging his hand through his hair.
“I didn’t do anything you didn’t want,” he says finally, his tone low but clipped.
It’s not an answer.
It’s not a fucking answer.
“What does that mean?” Your voice rises, panic flaring again. “What the fuck does that mean?”
“It means you wanted to come back with me,” he says, sharper now, a flash of frustration cutting through the veneer of calm. “You were all over me at the club, Y/N. I told you we shouldn’t—” He cuts himself off abruptly, his fingers raking through his hair again, the strands spiking in every direction. “But you wouldn’t let it go.”
Your stomach twists painfully, the nausea creeping back in full force.
“I wouldn’t let it go?” Your voice cracks, disbelief bleeding into every syllable. “You’re blaming me? You’re saying I—”
“I’m not blaming you.” He exhales sharply, his voice softening just slightly, like he’s trying to rein himself back in. “I’m saying you wanted this. You made that clear.”
“I don’t even remember!” Your voice breaks now, raw and jagged, splintering through the room. “How can I want something I can’t fucking remember?”
He steps closer, and this time you’re too stunned, too frozen, to move.
“Y/N.” His voice drops lower, almost pleading, his hand twitching at his side like he wants to reach for you. “You were drunk, yeah. But you weren’t—” He hesitates, his gaze flickering over your face. “You weren’t out of it. You knew what you were doing.”
The words settle over you like a lead weight, pressing down on your chest until it feels impossible to breathe. Your mind scrambles to piece together the night before, to fill in the blanks, but it’s all fog. Hazy flashes of neon lights and pounding music and his hand on your arm.
“I don’t—” Your voice falters, cracking under the weight in your chest. “I don’t know what to believe.”
His expression softens slightly, his shoulders lowering as he steps closer again, closing the gap between you.
“You don’t have to decide anything right now,” he says, his voice coaxing, soothing. He reaches for your hand, brushing his fingers against yours.
You flinch.
The motion is small, instinctive. But he catches it, his gaze darkening for a fraction of a second before he carefully, deliberately pulls his hand back.
“I don’t know what else to say to you,” he murmurs, his tone taking on a faint edge of frustration again. “I tried to do the right thing, Y/N. I could’ve left you at the club. I could’ve let you go home alone. But I didn’t.”
He looks at you, his eyes steady and unwavering, and you hate how much they make your stomach twist.
“I stayed.” He takes another step forward, close enough now that you can smell the faint trace of his cologne, mingling with the smoke and stale alcohol lingering in the room. “Because you needed me.”
You press your back against the wall, your hands gripping the hem of your dress so tightly it crumples in your fists.
“I don’t remember needing you,” you say, your voice small but sharp, each word cutting through the thick tension in the room.
His gaze drops to the floor for a moment, his lips pressing into a thin line. When he looks up again, there’s something different in his eyes. Something dark.
“Then maybe you should ask yourself why you’re here.”
The question hits like a punch to the gut, stealing the breath from your lungs.
You don’t answer. You can’t.
And in the silence that follows, he steps back, his expression shifting to something softer, more familiar.
“I missed you,” he says, his voice low, almost tender. “And I know you missed me too.”
“Just… stay.”
The word hangs in the air between you, heavy and suffocating.
Stay.
You want to run. You want to grab your things and get out of this apartment, out of this nightmare, and never look back. But your legs won’t move. Your feet feel glued to the floor, weighed down by doubt and fear and something else—something softer, something that aches when he looks at you like this.
“I don’t know if I can trust you,” you whisper.
His jaw tightens, his hands curling into fists at his sides. But when he speaks, his voice is soft. Vulnerable.
“I know.” His gaze drops to the floor for a moment, then back to you. “I don’t blame you for feeling that way. But I’m not the guy I was before, Y/N. I’m trying. I’m trying to be better.”
You hate how much those words hurt. How much you want to believe them.
“You shouldn’t have brought me here,” you say, your voice trembling. “I didn’t ask for this.”
“You did,” he says firmly. “Maybe you don’t remember, but you did.”
The words cut through you like a blade, sharp and cold. You don’t believe him. You don’t want to believe him.
But the tequila haze clouds everything, blurring the edges of the truth.
“Just give me a chance,” he says, stepping closer again. “Let me prove it to you. Let me—” He stops himself, his voice catching. “Let me fix this.”
Your throat tightens, the weight of his words pressing down on you, crushing.
“I don’t know if I can do this,” you whisper.
He reaches for your hand again, and this time, you don’t pull away. His fingers are warm, steady, wrapping around yours like they belong there. Like they always have.
“You don’t have to decide right now,” he says again. His voice is so soft, so careful. “Just stay. Please.”
Your chest heaves, your breath shallow and uneven.
And then—
Your phone buzzes.
The sound cuts through the tension like a knife, sharp and jarring. You jerk your hand away from his, your heart leaping into your throat as you spin toward the nightstand.
Your phone is lying there, screen glowing faintly in the dim light. Ji-hye’s name flashes across the screen.
Your stomach twists violently.
Su-bong doesn’t move. He stands frozen in place, his gaze fixed on you. You don’t look at him. You don’t want to see whatever’s written on his face.
You grab the phone, your fingers trembling as you swipe to open the message.
Ji-hye ★ˎˊ˗(9:04 AM): You good? Please tell me you didn’t go home with him.
Your breath catches, your chest tightening painfully.
“Who is it?” Su-bong’s voice cuts through the silence, low and steady, but there’s an edge to it now.
You don’t answer. You can’t.
Instead, you take a shaky step back, clutching the phone like it’s the only thing tethering you to reality.
“Y/N.” His voice is softer now, coaxing, but there’s a sharpness beneath it, something dark and unyielding. “Who was it?”
“Ji-hye.” The name barely makes it out of your mouth, your voice cracking on the second syllable.
He hums, low and quiet. “What did she say?”
You glance down at the screen again, the words burning into your retinas. You good? Please tell me you didn’t go home with him.
You don’t know what to say.
What can you say?
“Y/N,” he says again, stepping closer. His voice drops lower, quieter, like he’s trying to keep you from bolting. “Talk to me.”
Your chest heaves, your breath coming faster now. “I need to go.”
The words feel weak, hollow, and you hate how they tremble as they leave your lips.
“Go where?” His question is quiet, but there’s a weight to it that makes your stomach turn.
“Away from here.”
The second the words are out, his expression shifts. The softness in his gaze hardens, his lips pressing into a thin line.
“If you walk out that door…” He trails off, his voice cutting off like he’s biting down on the rest of the sentence.
Your heart races, panic rising in your chest. “What?”
His jaw clenches, the muscles in his neck tightening. “If you walk out that door, you’ll never see me again.”
The words hit like a punch to the gut, knocking the air from your lungs.
There’s a finality to them, an edge that cuts too deep. You don’t know what he means — if he’s talking about leaving your life or leaving altogether — but it doesn’t matter.
It scares you.
And he knows it.
His gaze stays locked on yours, unflinching, unwavering. “I’m serious, Y/N.”
Your phone buzzes again in your hand, the sound startling you. You glance down at the screen.
Ji-hye ★ˎˊ˗(9:06 AM): If you’re with him, just leave. I’ll come get you.
You swallow hard, the lump in your throat threatening to choke you.
Su-bong takes another step closer. “You don’t have to leave.” His voice drops lower, almost a whisper. “We can talk. We can figure this out. But if you walk away now…”
He doesn’t finish the sentence, but he doesn’t have to. The threat lingers in the air between you, heavy and suffocating.
Your fingers tighten around your phone, Ji-hye’s message flashing like a lifeline in your palm.
“Y/N.” His voice is softer now, pleading. “Stay.”
You look up at him, your chest heaving, your mind spinning.
And in that moment, you don’t know what scares you more; the thought of staying, or the thought of leaving.
#choi su bong x reader#dark!choi su bong x reader#dark!player 230 x reader#dark!squid game x reader#dark!thanos x reader#player 230 x reader#squid game smut#su bong x reader#thanos smut#thanos x reader#yandere choi su bong#yandere squid game x reader#yandere player 230#yandere squid game#yandere thanos#yandere#squid game#tw dark fic#tw dark themes#dead dove do not eat#dead dove fic#squid game x reader#smut#angst
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Being Their Girlfriend Would Include :
Choi Su-bong Edition.
Series Masterlist.
Main Masterlist.
This man is high af-
One word. Possessive.
Somehow he dragged you along with himself into the games.
Feels really guilty about that 💔.
Tries his very best to keep you safe.
When he saw player 169, Kang Mi-na's body he shielded you behind him.
Would keep you away from his drugs that he hides away in his cross at all times.
Has a tattoo of your name on his collarbone ❤️.
Nam-gyu would be your assigned bodyguard. No arguments.
During mingle he would kick out the person that was residing first in the room for you-.
He saw you crying and held you close to his chest without any words and say 'i love you' in your ear.
Always the big spoon.
Due to his arrogance, he was killed by Myung-gi by a fork and whilst dying his thoughts only went back to you and prayed to god that atleast you would get out of here alive, in one piece ❤️🩹.
#fem reader#squid game season 2#squid game x reader#squid game#angst#squid game 2#tw death#comfort#squid games#player 230#squid game s2#squid game netflix#netflix series#choi su bong#squid game thanos#thanos squid game#thanos x reader#choi su bong x reader#thanos#player 230 x reader
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it's too late. | thanos (choi su-bong)
| in which a pregnant girl encounters her ex-boyfriend in a game of survival, for a shot to win some money to pay off their debts.
wc: 1.1k
warnings: none really... just a lot of angst!
NOT proof-read!!
"hey señorita... y/n!"
oh don't tell me that's who i think it is...
i turned around slowly, my heart hammering in my chest. it was like time had frozen for a moment. the moment i had feared, the moment i never expected. there he was.
choi su-bong.
my high-school sweetheart. the boy who once promised me everything. the boy who left when i needed him the most. the boy who broke my heart and disappeared without a trace.
i could hardly breathe as i met his eyes. those same eyes i had fallen in love with at sixteen. the purple hair that was styled but messier than i remembered. the tattoos that covered his hands and his fingers; each one a reminder of who he'd become. the coloured nails, the silver rings that flashed with every movement. that same damn smile; the one that made my heart race, now felt like a dagger lodged in my chest.
"su-bong..." i said, my voice barely above a whisper. the words so heavy with unspoken moments of pain and longing. my hand moved instinctively to rest on my stomach, the one thing that had grown in his absence. but i didn't expect him to notice. why would he? not after everything.
he froze for a moment, as if he didn't know what to do with me. his eyes flickered to my stomach, then quickly shifted away, the confusion creeping into his expression. he looked...lost. like he was seeing me, but not really understanding. i could see the change in him; the same boy i loved at sixteen, but somehow... different. colder.
"you look different," he said slowly, taking a step forward, his voice carrying a touch of hesitation. his eyes searched mine, like he was trying to find the girl he once knew in the woman standing before him. but he didn't get the chance.
"yeah," i replied flatly, trying to keep my composure, my voice colder than i intended. "a lot has changed su-bong."
i wanted him to know how much he had missed, how much he had left. i wanted him to feel the weight of his absence, the pain of being alone when i needed him the most. but i didn't want to show him any weakness. not now. not after everything.
he shifted uncomfortably, like my coldness was making him second-guess himself.
"look i know it's been a while, but we need to talk."
we need to talk? what the fuck. my mind screamed. we've already had this conversation, haven't we? but the words caught in my throat. i couldn't bring myself to say it. not yet. the truth, the pain, it was all so close to the surface, and if i let it out now, it would swallow me whole.
"what do you want, su-bong?" i asked, my voice tight, trying to keep the shaking at bay. "why are you even here?"
his face darkened, the usual cocky swagger replaced by something more... raw. something real. "debt," he said, the word coming out low, reluctant. "i invested everything into crypto. lost it all. i’m here because of my mistakes."
i nodded slowly, the reality of his words sinking in like ice water. "yeah, i know," i muttered bitterly. "i’ve been paying for it too, haven’t i?"
he looked away for a second, but i could see the shame in his eyes. the guilt. it didn’t matter, though. it never mattered before, so why should it matter now?
but then, as if the silence between us wasn’t enough, his eyes flicked down to my stomach. a quick glance, but it was enough. his face went pale, his breath catching in his throat. the shock was instant.
"wait…" he whispered, stepping closer. his voice cracked slightly. "are you-"
i didn’t let him finish. i couldn’t. i felt it welling up inside me—everything i had kept hidden for months. the hurt, the anger, the grief. i pressed my hand to my stomach again, my heart racing as i forced the words out.
"i’m pregnant," i said, my voice barely a whisper, but it felt like it echoed between us. "and it’s yours."
his face went blank. completely blank. like he couldn’t process it. like the words hadn’t even reached him yet. i saw his mouth open, but no sound came out.
i stepped back, keeping my distance, my chest tight. "you weren’t there, su-bong. not when i needed you. not when we needed you."
his expression crumpled, his hands balling into fists at his sides. "i didn’t know," he said hoarsely. "i didn’t know, y/n. i swear."
"you should’ve known," i shot back, my voice cracking despite my efforts to stay composed. "you should’ve been here. but you weren’t. you walked away when i needed you the most."
he took a step closer, but i held up my hand to stop him. "no. don’t come near me."
"i messed up," he said, his voice rough, guilt and regret flooding his words. "i was stupid. i didn’t mean for any of this to happen. i thought… i thought i could fix it. i was trying to make something of myself, but i messed everything up. i messed us up."
"us?" i scoffed, shaking my head. "there was no 'us,' su-bong. there was only you and your damn dreams. your rap career. your crypto, your debts, your selfishness. there was never any 'us' when i needed you. i was alone, and now you think you can just walk back in like nothing happened?"
i felt my hands shaking, my breath coming faster as the anger bubbled up. i wanted to scream. i wanted to cry. but all i could do was stand there, staring at the boy who had left me. the boy who would never understand the weight of what he had done.
"i should’ve been there," he muttered, the words barely a whisper. "but i wasn’t. i’m sorry, y/n."
the words meant nothing anymore. they were hollow. meaningless. he was sorry, but sorry wouldn’t change anything.
"yeah," i said, my voice trembling now. "you should’ve. but you weren’t. and it’s too late."
i took a shaky breath, pushing the tears back. i couldn’t break down in front of him. not now. not after everything.
"you can’t fix this, su-bong," i whispered, the finality in my voice cutting through the space between us. "you can’t fix what’s already broken."
he stood there, staring at me like he didn’t know what to do with himself, with us. i turned away, my heart pounding in my chest. my body felt heavy with the truth i had finally told him.
"i’m done," i said softly, my voice breaking. "you should leave. just go."
without another word, i walked away, leaving him behind.
#squid game x reader#choi su bong#choi su bong x reader#thanos#squid game thanos#thanos x reader#t.o.p bigbang#t.o.p x reader#choi seunghyun#squid game s2#squid game angst#angst#pregnant!reader
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can you do a thanos x reader (with slight dae Ho x reader) where they used to date before he became a rapper and did drugs and she’s the only person he ever truly loved. They break up because of the person he becomes and cut contact, seeing each other for the first time at the games. Thanos is keeping up his cool guy persona and flirting in a dickhead way, but then he sees her getting along with dae Ho (who likes her too) that cause thanos to actually be vulnerable with the reader in private, acting like he once was. up to you if you want to make it an angsty or fluffy ending
Well, all the stars would shine a bloody red
Paring: Choi Su-bong (Thanos) x fem!reader, slight Kang Dae-ho x reader
Summary: Seeing Thanos in the games after he changed for the worse, but he sees you too.
Words: 3k
Warnings: Brief mentions of prayer, mentions of drugs, swearing, death, squid game stuff
A/n: grr I'm not good with angst, I'm sorry if this sucks lol. Also, it came out way longer than I expected, so sorry for that ♡
~🍡🍡
The world seems blurry around Thanos. The leaves on the ground are nothing more than a distraction from your face. His heart beats faster as you smile at him, telling him some story he can't remember. The park is nice, a cool breeze ruffling your hair slightly.
His hearing is the first to go, and your voice becomes incomprehensible murmurs as the world slowly darkens and shifts. He can't see you anymore, either, and his vision soon blackens like an exposed film. Soon, the darkness is replaced by blaring lights as he opens his eyes.
Oh.
He sits up, his loose shirt clinging to his damp cold sweat. Why had he dreamt about you? It was so long ago, but he knew he'd never recover. His mattress always feels empty, now. No matter what girl is in it, it's always empty. You were so perfect, how could he have lost you?
It doesn't matter anymore, and he knows it. His life is better now. He just needs to keep saying that until he can wake up and feel like an entire person. But for now, he's just a husk, and he knows it. He'd never admit it, though. He can hardly admit it to himself. He knows he's changed. He wishes he could say for the better, but fame does something to a person. He still remembers that day.
He was high all the time, at clubs or concerts, hardly home, and hardly himself. You had spoken to him a week or two ago, telling him you were worried.
"Please, Su-bong." You had whispered. It was the first time you had gotten to speak to him in a while. "Why are you doing this? Why are you changing so quickly? So harshly?" He thought you were going to cry. So did you. Your hand rests on his arm. But he, for some fucked up reason, brushed you off.
"Chill, man. I'm not changing, I'm living my life. Why can't you just let me? Be happy for me?" He shoves your hand away. "I have a signing soon, see you later," he dismissed you.
That night, though. He should've been able to tell you were different. Your demeanor was cold and dry. But he couldn't even recognize himself, so you expected nothing more. You were sitting on the couch, arms crossed, zoning out into the ceiling. He stumbled in, clearly high off his mind. He had hickeys. You don't care, at this point. You can't remember the last time he even hugged you, but you stopped trying a while ago.
"Hey, Baby," he muttered, taking off his jacket. He walked over and sat next to you, turning on the TV.
"Do you know what day it is?" You calmly asked. You were prepared for this. You already knew what he would say, he didn't even deserve the benefit of the doubt, but you still asked him anyway.
"Happy anniversary." He'd said, dismissively, switching the channel. You scoffed, focusing your eyes on him. You stood, and he looked at you, almost annoyed.
"You're not yourself." You say, biting your lip, trying not to break.
"What? Flower, I thought we were past this." He groaned. You didn't say anything. You just grabbed your phone and walked to the door.
"Talk to me when you can remember my birthday." You said, slamming the door. He didn't comprehend it at the time, passing out after a while.
But he does now.
He can't take it. He lost all his money, unable to blind himself anymore. He rarely dreams of you, but it hurts more each time he does. He was stupid. He is stupid. He's never felt for someone like you since then. He stands, defeated, and heads outside.
He's not proud of what he plans to do, but he is confused when a man in a suit approaches him.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
You have to squint your eyes to get used to the bright florescent lights in the strange room you find yourself in. You panic, but only briefly, before remembering the Ddakji, the small card, and the ominous car you entered.
You take a moment to assess your situation but don't get very far. There are many different kinds of people around you, seemingly in the same situation. You wear identical tracksuits with different numbers and are surrounded by strategically stacked metal bed frames. You then notice the violin music playing from seemingly nowhere and everywhere, and you finally stand up.
Many people join you as the crowd looks confused. Until a buzzing sound is heard, cutting off the peaceful music, as large doors at the front of the room open, and people in bright pink uniforms walk out. One starts talking about games, money, and lots of things that would normally interest you (or any other sane person), but your attention has drifted elsewhere, your world stopping in its tracks.
It's not like he's difficult to notice. His hair is still that stupid purple, and he still seems to carry himself with a sense of arrogance, but you almost wish you hadn't seen him, as memories come flooding in of the life you still sometimes mourn.
You barely begin to think of him in a positive light before your thoughts are interrupted by his voice, proving your hopes wrong. "What's with these shoes?" You roll your eyes as you watch the back of his head. "My shoes are limited fucking edition, they're hard to find." He whines. "You going to replace them if they get ruined?" Nice to know his priorities haven't changed. Your dread doesn't fade when other people begin asking questions. You almost get on your knees and pray, right there, that he doesn't see you. Instead, you decide to focus on more important matters and listen to the guards' answers.
One particularly whiny guy pushes a little too hard, and his name and number are soon ominously announced by the guard speaking, followed by his debt, age, and history. You refrain from smiling as a video is played on a large screen of him playing Ddakji and presumably losing. More videos are played, thankfully none of you, but there is one of Thanos, sadly without him getting slapped. The pink guard then continues speaking, offering a chance at a better life, or so he says. It's not like you have very many options, though.
The lights turn off as you watch a clear piggy bank lower, grabbing your interest. Even more when a prize of 45.6 billion won is announced. It's not like you have many options. So, when lines are formed, you sign the paper.
Eyes naturally trailing to Thanos, you notice him fussing with the whiner from earlier. You can't hear what they're saying, but you resist the urge to scoff at his immature behavior. He's nothing if not consistent, at least. It is kind of funny, though, watching him be pulled off of the guy.
You get your picture taken, ignoring a flight of fans to Thanos and an embarrassing moment to witness, and are led to an open, sandy area. You see an ominous-looking doll, but your thoughts are interrupted. "The first game is Red Light, Green Light."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
shit shit shit
What is this psychotic prison? You thought that 456 guy was crazy, high, or something other than honest! You know you don't have much time left. You glance up at the clock as it ticks down.
00:52
Well, fuck. You're going to end up like those people at the start of the game. Just another failure with no money or life dragged away before anyone could remember your name.
You can't distract yourself with that now, though. There are only a few people left (considering there are like 400 in total), and your position at this moment isn't the best. To make things worse, as soon as you hear that devilish singing, you're pushed. Hard.
Your body crashes to the ground, and you feel your leg bruising immediately. You struggle to stand up. You know you can't run anymore. The doll spins its head back around as your mind races.
00:28
You're going to die. You know you are. You can't make it that far whilst limping. You glance around, praying for something to happen in your favor when you make eye contact with someone at the end, already finished.
He looks kind, at least kinder than most people here. He sees you, he sees your situation, and he nods at you. You're unsure what that means until he runs to help you when the music plays again. When he reaches you, he freezes once he has an arm under you.
00:20
The doll looks away, and he pulls you up with ease. You wince, but you know you have bigger issues. He smiles apologetically as you both move as fast as your body lets you until the singing stops again.
00:14
You feel bad for this boy. He's just trying to help you, but you've now taken down another sweet person with you. He senses your tiresome energy and covers his mouth before the doll moves to look around.
"Don't give up. We're so close." He says, staring daggers into your eyes. You squeeze them shut and bite your lip. "You can do this," He whispers. The singing begins again.
00:07
You sigh and push yourself up again, both of you continue moving as you feel people's eyes on you.
00:02
He pushes you forward as you fall over the line, him soon after as the clock stops.
00:00
You instinctively cover your eyes as you hear the shots that echo through the room, as the remaining players lose their lives to this wretched game.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
The boy walks with you back to the sleeping quarters. You're both shaken, but you manage to speak. "Thank you," you whisper, but you know he hears you. "I thought I wasn't going to make it."
He looks at you and nods. "Of course." He says softly, "I'm Dae-ho." You smile at him and introduce yourself. You both make your way to a corner and sit on his bed as the guards enter the room again.
Some people cry, some people start begging, and you kick your legs and watch it play out, frightened, but curious. Eventually, the familiar piggy bank dramatically stoops down again, this time filling with money, climactic music playing. The mood is soon killed, though. 24 million is the share each player would get, and you squint at the guard. Your mood isn't much better when you hear another voice.
"24 million?" Thanos asks, "You said 45.6 billion!" he says, an accusatory tone in his voice as the guard re-explains the situation. You aren't listening very closely anymore, though. Your heart and mind ache with thoughts of your past. You miss his kindness, the gentle Su-bong, who always closely cared for you. Now, all that's left is a harsh concrete wall between you two and the sting on your shins from the fall you took.
Before you know it, it's time to cast votes on whether to stay or leave this fever dream of a place. Your number is pretty low, so you get to see a lot of people's votes. Unsurprising to you, Thanos wants to stay. After a scene is caused by 456, you cast your vote and return to Dae-ho. He starts talking, breaking the silence between you.
Neither of you are quite sure what there is to say, but he talks anyway. He talks about his sisters, how they raised him, and his father, who never really knew him. He talks about his time in the military and what his life was like. You listen, nodding, laughing when he says something funny, and understanding. You both get food. It's not the best, but it's food, nonetheless. You begin to tell him about your life, but you're soon both distracted by 456, sharing his knowledge on the next game. Curious when you find out it's Dalgona, Dae-ho confirms your suspicions and verifies what the game is. Once the crowd dies down, he energetically offers you and himself to join the group, and they don't decline.
You're soon distracted, though. That empty aching feeling returns as you watch Thanos and his friend harass someone again. The same guy from earlier, 333. No matter how much you think you miss him, it's always drowned out by a hatred for who he is. You're soon brought to reality again as the sound of Thanos hitting the ground drives your attention back to the situation. The boy is soon held back and punched. Your stomach tightens as you watch the boy you once knew to be funny and kind, be so aggressive and violent. You know he'll never change, so you simply turn to focus on something less depressing, only to find Dae-ho slipping his egg onto your plate. You smile at him, distracting yourself successfully until even he looks over, noticing a man from your group kicking Thanos's ass.
You have to refrain from laughing, but Dae-ho doesn't try to hide the grin on his face. You could hardly admit to yourself that it slightly ached your soul to see your sweet boy be hurt like that, but the thought diminished quickly, replaced with an anxious realization that you're not just looking at Thanos, but his eyes.
He sees you.
Oh, fuck.
This was probably worse than watching that stupid timer tick away. His eyebrows soften from angry to shocked to bittersweet. He doesn't smile at you, but you can almost see his apology in his eyes if it weren't for his dilated pupils. His eyes look next to you, but your attention is soon changed as you hear Dae-ho. "Are you alright?" He asks, looking at you. It's only now you realize you're shaking, and you suddenly feel it all settling in. Your situation. The people, the place, the danger, it's a little too much. You bite your lip and nod, heading to the bathroom to clear your head.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
You honestly should've expected it, but you didn't. You're standing over the sink, washing blood off of your face when the door opens. You look and immediately look away. How did he even get in here? You let out a shaky sigh as you grip the sink, distracting yourself yet again.
"Hey," Thanos says, his tone a little lighter than what you've heard so far.
"I can't believe they even let you in here." You scoff, trying, and failing, to hide the crack in your voice as you look at your reflection. You're a mess. Your hair is damp with sweat, water, and probably blood. Your face is tired, your lip is quivering. You honestly look worse than him, and he just got the shit beaten out of him. "What do you want from me?" You say, not looking at him. You honestly don't expect him to be gentle with you, he never was before you broke up, but you're proven wrong.
"I don't want to upset you, Baby." He whispers, walking closer slowly.
"Don't call me that." You say, closing your eyes. This wasn't how it was supposed to go. He was supposed to be an asshole like he always was. Then you could tell him off and leave him in the dust again, but now you have no plan. He's not being Thanos, he's being Su-bong. You haven't heard from Su-bong in a painfully long time.
He's still coming closer. You don't move, though. You're not sure what you want him to do, but you don't think he knows either. He leans down a little bit to look at you from the side, and you open your eyes and look at him, finally. He's so pretty. You feel your eyes getting glassy as you look at him, the pain of your burnt love story refreshing in your mind. His eyes aren't as dilated, but still a bit. You hope it's just because he's looking at you, but you aren't going to think about it.
He seems to notice your glossy eyes and furrows his brows, tilting his head slightly and looking at you sympathetically. It felt unwelcome but familiar. He lifts a hand slightly, appearing to try to touch you, but doesn't move it from its place in the space between you. You don't pull your eyes from his until the stinging is too much, and you close your eyes. You tilt your head downwards to hide the trickle against your cheek.
You feel his hand hold your face gently as he sighs lightly. "I'm so sorry," is all he whispers. You want to lean into his touch and accept his offer of love and forgiveness, but you're scared. He knows you are. But you don't move. You don't want him to stay, but you don't want him to leave.
"I know." You say, defeated. You bring your arms away from the sink to play with your hands, your body naturally turning to him. "You always said you were." You whisper, sniffing. You see his eyes close and he looks frustrated with himself, but you feel his other hand on yours, gently rubbing his thumb over your hands.
"I was so stupid, angel. I couldn't see what I was igniting until our love was already burnt." He says, never taking his eyes off you. You laugh lightly, and he smiles, confused. "What?"
"Kinda sappy, but I'd expect nothing less from you." You tease, as he scoffs. You sniff once more before dragging your eyes to meet his. You're met with nothing but care in his eyes. You look at him and are reminded of your perfect boy, who always made you smile.
"Please forgive me." He whispers. "I still dream about you. I've never loved someone like I love you." He admits, so quiet he was scared you might not hear, but you did. Your heart beats a little faster as you move closer, leaning your forehead to his. he closes his eyes, and you copy. You had certainly missed this.
"It will be difficult," you say, he nods, "Don't hurt me again, please." He bites his lip, and both his hands find your jaw, moving back to look at you.
You inch closer to each other, painfully slow. Your breath is shallow, you can feel your brain screaming to stop. He's so soft, though. Nothing is stopping you. You can feel his breath fanning onto your nose as his thumb glides over your cheek. Your hands have the urge to hold him, to let him love you and cherish you. You want to lay your face on his neck and fall asleep in his arms.
You want to question yourself, too. You want to stop, run away, and ignore every call. That is until your hands find his shirt, and you realize you can't stop if you try. This is what you need. This is why you want to cry. This is what you're aching for, and the heart wants what it wants.
So, you lean forward, accepting the wave of warmth that washes over you when he softly kisses you. You get chills up your body, one of your hands moving to his neck, then to his hair, slowly pressing a little harder, feeling him loosen in your grasp. You want to keep it this way forever, to stay in his presence and be showered with gentle love and appreciation until you're suffocated. But still, you lean back. You can't deny you're glad to see his smile when you open your eyes, and he can't say he's upset to see yours shining back.
#squid game#thanos x y/n#thanos x you#thanos x reader#thanos#choi su bong#choi su bong x reader#squid game x reader#squid games x reader#squid game thanos#dae ho x reader#dae ho#dae ho squid game#mocchii writes#thanos fluff#player 230#player 230 x reader#230 x reader#light angst#squid game season 2
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how i feel posting 2 fluff fics in a row knowing yall have the most heartbreaking angst coming soon
#choi su bong#kang dae ho#kang dae ho x reader#nam gyu#squid game#thanos x reader#kang daeho#dae ho x reader#squid game angst
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HII!! i'm not a very active tumblr user but i discovered your account a day or two ago and the things you write are so impressive and beautiful!! ⭐ and if you don't mind i have a request for you i know it will sound really stupid but i'm just curious. can you write something about thanos and y/n having dated since high school and after playing mingle in the squid game y/n and thanos went to the bathroom to do something at night🤗 and y/n told thanos that she was 2 or 3 months (i don't know how long it took to figure it out😭) pregnant and since she found out she's been using pills to abort the baby (it's not her first time, and the reason is because she doesn't trust her own motherhood since she grew up with deficiencies)?? i said a lot, i'm sorry💗💗(i know it sounds so weird😔 and if there are any spelling mistakes sorry it's not my native language) Tysm in advance🎀🎀
yess sorry it took so longggg im going from the bottom of my request💔
Sorry for not telling you
warnings: just making out, pregnancy, mentions of abortions
You and thanos have been dating since high school, honestly you yourself is surprised how you even managed to last this long with him, he just seemed like the type to cheat and treat you wrong but he actualt never did which was surprising to you
He was a very sweet man and boyfriend, always treating you well and didn’t really talk to any women, so that was a good head start but sadlyyy yall both got into debt, so in the middle of random station a man came up to you guys, played a game, got slapped, almost fought the guy but held him back.
He gave us a card and we decided to call it as we both got picked up and suddenly fell asleep with this random gas they put.
The moment you woke up you immediately went to find Thanos as he placed his hands on your forearm and you placed your hands on his arms “Oh my gee! Your here oh my god i was worried!” he said quickly hugging you as you hugged him back, “Where the hell are we?” the first thing you said as he looked at you
“No idea, looks like shit tho, all these beds in the way..many for us eh?” he said smirking and raising an eyebrow jokingly obviously.
You nervously chuckled and looked away, you haven’t been completely honest with him.
For the past 2 months you’ve been throwing up like crazy, avoiding every moment of intimacy, before you called that card, you bought a pregnancy and came out positive, you’ve also tried taking abortion pills thinking it would even work yet it didn’t so you kinda panicked and to make it worse you haven’t told him yet and still feel you shouldn’t especially if we’re here.
So we did end up going into the games and to find out they were death games, you felt so stressed out during red light green light, you even clinged onto thanos since you started feeling a little sick.
Ever since that game he’s been watching over you, sure he noticed your behavior was a bit different but he brushed it off thinking it was just because of the games.
Time skip
The second game came, and you were lowkey even more stressing out but thankfully thanos was clinging onto you the whole game and even kicked out someone of the group just for you, you felt so bad for the person who got killed and even looked back at him but you know your life or his life.
“2 players” you heard a familiar ai women like voice say, It didn’t take long for thanos to literally yank you and run.
He pushed by people and even grabbed a girls hair pulling her back as you gasped, he pushed you into the room first and quickly went in panting, “Holy shit that was intense..” he said putting a hand to his chest, his chest rising up and down rapidly, “Are you okay?” he asked as you nodded.
You started too feel a bit sick as you put a hand on your stomach making a small face, “what’s wrong? your stomach hurt?” he asked again “N-no i just feel really nauseous..” you said hoping he gets a hint as he nodded, “Well the game is over, i’m sure it’s all the blood..” he said
They took us back to the beds as you still felt nauseous but just brushed it off, they gave us dinner which was only like 5 rolls..and a fork? like?
Not that long after dinner Thanos lead you to the bathroom, he smirked at you as he closed the door, “What are you doing..?” you asked as he grabbed your waist and pulled you towards him “i’ve missed feeling your body against mine you know” he said looking down at you as you just chuckled.
He kissed you and you kissed him back, everything was all good, the kiss was great, but eventually one kiss turned into a heated makeout as he kissed you a bit more aggressively
his hands traveled to your waist to the waistband of the sweatpants and slowly tried pulling them down but you quickly grabbed his hands, you pulled back from the kiss and looked at him, “What? what’s wrong? why don’t you wanna like..have sex anymore?” he asked in a bit of confusion, “Thanos..i have to uhh tell you something” you told him softly
“What, what is it?” he asked his hands going back to your waist, “I-i know i’m telling you this so late but for the past 2 months i’ve been feelings really..sick”
“Sick? sick like how? are you dying baby?” he asked “What? no..? i’ve just been throwing up every morning and feeling nauseous, and like..i’ve just been feeling weird so before we came here i bought a test..” you told him
He looked at you densely and just blinking awkwardly “test? like a covid test? oh my god are you positive?” he asked his mouth slightly parted
You got annoyed and rolled your eyes “No thanos! i don’t have covid!” you said
“Than what? what test! come on tell me already!” he said slightly inpatient
“I’m pregnant!” you yelled out
He stared at you, his eyes widen and he stayed quiet, he slowly backed up rubbing his forehead
“I’m sorry i know i should’ve told you sooner! i’ve been taking abortion pills but there literally a scam! i understand if you don’t wanna stay with me-.” you begin explaining as you felt emotional
“Wait what? your taking abortion pills!? y/n your hurting OUR BABY!” he said quickly getting on the floor and sliding to your waist touching your belly (sorryy i found this funny thinking he would do that like that usher meme😭)
You stared down at him blankly as he puts his head to your stomach “Oh my gosh you’re crazy.. don’t take those anymore! i’m ready to become a father. We’re gonna make it out of here! and have this baby together” he said looking up at you
You smiled at him touching his hair, “I hope so..”
“But can we just do one more game baby? please..” he said pleading up at you, you quickly frowned and rolled your eyes “C’mon please baby, the more money the best for the baby”
“Fine..just one more.” you said quietly as he yelped up and hugged you and kissed your cheek, you smiled, he took you back to the beds and voting started, obviously picking ‘O’ for him
A couple minutes after the voting it was a tie, His name Nam-su? Nam-gyu? motioned him to the bathroom after he saw someone go in, player 333, thanos glared for a moment and looked at you “I’ll be back okay baby? i need to take a wiz real quick..” he said getting up and giving you one last kiss as you nodded.
Who knows? maybe that’s the last time you will ever see him, maybe you will never see him come out that bathroom again, maybe that would be the last kiss he gave you. Nobody knows where they might end up.
#squid game#squid game season 2#squid game x reader#squid game s2#choi su bong#choi su bong x reader#choi su bong angst#squid game angst#squid game fic#squid game headcanons#squid game fanfic#player 230 x reader#player 230#thanos squid game#thanos x reader#thanos#player 230 angst#pregnancy#light angst
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wishful thinking
thanos/su-bong x pregnant! reader (fluff, comfort)
warnings — thanos and reader have matching tattoos, crying, mentions of sex, cursing, mentions of pissing on a door, pregnant reader, switching of referring to thanos and subong so hope you don’t get too confused, use of bitch (not towards reader), lowercase, typical squid game shit so mentions of blood and death,
you joined these games because although you thought it was too good to be true, it was all you could do. your shitty ex su-bong making you invest all your money into some dumbass crypto scam and blowing all of your guys money on drugs, childish bets, and gambling. after he blew both your guys money out, you left him, blocked him on everything, ignored your doorbell when he’d attempt to see you in person, everything. but two months after you broke up, it all came crashing down. you found out you were pregnant. and he was the only one you let see that part of you, it was his. but you were sure he moved on and even if he hadn’t, you couldn’t take him back. if he was this much of an incompetent person, he’d definitely be a terrible father. you didn’t want him in your life or your child’s.
besides some guy you assumed to have dementia or be on drugs, the game was going pretty smooth. until it wasn’t and it turns out the guy wasn’t crazy and people all around you were dying. blood splatting on your face left and right. you finally find a method and stay behind other people and everything was going smoothly again besides the intense stress and pressure. your heart and stomach feeling heavy. but the next time that doll turns around you hear a bunch of screams and you look to the right and see that su-bong was here too, and he had just pushed all of those people. he looked crazed. you just ignore it and try not to think about it, finally passing that finish line and being done with the first game, waiting for a full explanation.
you all move back into the main rooms that contained all your beds and people start screaming and yelling for answers. crying to go home, begging for their lives. you too wanted to go home, but you had so much on your mind. so much that you don’t notice your ex is nearing right behind you.
“señorita! oh my god baby is that you?”
he grabs your shoulder and turns you around to face him and you look up at him, frowning your eyebrows. he starts grabbing your face in his hands, touching all over you, not being able to comprehend it was you.
“oh god, it is you, babe, are you okay? where have you been i’ve missed you—”
“subong, stop. we’re not together, and we never will be ever again.”
you push his hands off your face and step back to put some distance between you two, still giving him a major glare. he reaches his arms out towards you again as if he was slowly trying pick up a scared puppy.
“cmon— you can’t still be mad. baby, i’ll make it up to you, especially now.”
you look behind him and see a few people waiting on him, clearly eavesdropping. he turns around and looks at you again, a puppy dog look on his face but you shake it off.
“it’s not going to work subong. the debt im in now is insane because of you!”
he holds his right hand out before grabbing your right hand.
“baby please — we got these tattoos together,”
you look down at your hands and see the matching line placements decorating both of your hands. it was a stupid idea. you’d been dating for a little over a year, you shouldn’t had done it, you knew that. but you could barely pay for your bills, you definitely couldn’t pay to remove a tattoo. but deep in your heart you wished he was different, wished you could forgive him because deep down you still loved him. that tattoo was a sick reminder of that everyday. you realize you’d been staring at the two of your hands for a while before pulling away quickly. he looks at you with a smile and hope in his eyes. he places both of his hands on your shoulders again.
“see, we’re meant to be. it was a mistake, i know, i did it out of the goodness of my heart! for us, for you, you know that.”
you scoff at him.
“no. no i don’t know that. we’re not getting back together choi su-bong, that’s final.”
his hands go limp on your shoulders before you speak up, saying your next few choice of words slightly quieter as his fans or friends or whoever was still behind you two, stop eavesdropping.
“and just so you know, i’m pregnant. it’s yours. i’m keeping it. i don’t need you to help me. i’ll find a way to make money and i’ll raise my child.”
he stares at you stunned before you push away and move through the crowd. you hear him yell for you, yelling that cringy señorita pet name your way, but you ignore him, trying to hide in the crowd, listening to what the guards say as he drowns in the sea of people.
the guard mentions voting and how you guys were gonna vote whether to stay or leave. part of you wanted to stay still, but if you died, so did your baby. and you were scared out of your mind, nothing able to comfort you. so you knew you were going to choose to leave. you weren’t in insane debts but you still had a lot. the money they were offering after the first game was nowhere near close enough to pay it all off. you would have to play one more game, maybe even two to pay it off, but you couldn’t take any risks. they start calling from highest to lowest numbers and once they call ‘player 230’, your shitty ex makes his way down the line, skipping to smack that blue button, choosing to stay. it only made you wanna choose the other side even more. your turn comes and you choose to leave, sticking the red ‘x’ on your chest. you could see him staring at you through the corner of your eye, but you just chose to ignore it. creepy bastard.
after arguments and close physical alterations, the voting was over. you had lost, you’d be staying for another game. you wanted to go but at least you’d have an opportunity to make a little more money, you guess…
“excuse me, young lady, would you like to join us?”
you look over to a short older woman holding onto your arm, pointing over to a small group of people who were sitting on their beds. you give her a small smile and nod, letting her take you over there. she signals where you can sit and you move slowly while holding your stomach, letting out a deep breath once you finally get down all the way. you look around and there’s an older man, a younger girl, and another woman with some very strong features. the older woman speaks.
“i mean, i can’t believe they chose to stay! no offense hyun-ju, but come on!”
the older woman smacks her hand down on the bed and you give her a sympathetic and understanding look. she looks up at you before she gets a surprised look on her face and quickly flails herself around to get her composure.
“right! ma’am, this is my son yong-sik, this is young-mi, and this is hyun-ju.”
she pauses looking at you and sits up quickly again.
“oh, and you can call me mrs jang.”
she gives you a teethy smile. realizing she’s waiting for you to introduce yourself you let out an oh and tell her who you are and she grabs your hands into hers and rubs circles into them.
“oh that name is so pretty. a pretty name for such a pretty girl.”
her son yong-sik slaps her shoulder and then they start arguing. you just sit there happy to have the company before you look to your right and see subong on the other side staring at you. you quickly look away and look down at your legs, biting your lip.
“yo, who’s that girl? you were arguing with her earlier. she’s smoking.”
he keeps staring before snapping his head back at nam-gyu.
“you are right, she is smoking hot.”
he pauses.
“well you see nam-su—”
“nam-gyu…”
“right right, nam-gyu, anyways, that’s my girl over there, okay? she just playin’ hard to get right now is all’,”
nam-gyu raises his eyebrows, getting an idea.
“soo, you gonna let me have a turn with that, right?”
thanos slaps his arm.
“nah bro, i normally share but that, ive had dibs on her for at least two years.”
he slaps nam-gyus arm again and then grabs it, causing nam-gyu to let out an ‘ow bro’,
“don’t worry bro! i’m sure we can find ya a bitch in here though! keep your mind busy and dick wet and we’re sure to win this whole thing.”
he slaps his arm one last time before nam-gyu slaps him back, thanos just laughing before slowly going back to watching you. trying to figure out how he should go about this. deciding that he’d just wait until everyone was asleep to talk to you again.
night time comes around and you had to piss. this fucking sucked. you had none of your pain killers, and you were about to crawl into a ball and start ripping your skin off from the pain you were in. but right now just focus on pissing. just focus on pissing you thought. you get up slowly, clutching your stomach before walking up to the door to the bathroom, knocking on it, waiting for someone to answer. finally the window slides open and you’re met with a triangle looking at you, or at least you think he, it? is looking at you.
“uhm, excuse me, i need to use the washroom.”
“players may not leave this room past your given curfew.”
the window to the door shuts. you take a deep breath, not willing to cause a scene and just about walk away before a guy walks up behind you and starts making a scene for you. that guy being su-bong.
“hey, me and my girl are tryna fuck, if you want we can do it right in the middle of this fucking room!”
it doesn’t work and the door doesn’t open.
“im not a girl! i have a penis and i know how to fucking aim. the next time you open this door it’s gonna be fucking yellow instead of pink i promise you that! i gotta heavy ass piss stream i been holdin’ and i can let out all over this door!”
you slap him, asking him what he was doing and that he was being crazy. but if you were being honest you were trying to stiffle a laugh. he always was funny, and in your relationship he always knew how to make you laugh. you’re pulled out of your thoughts when somehow what he said actually worked and they opened the door for you both. you make your way to the bathrooms and it’s silent the whole time. he was thinking of what to say to you. a million things running through his mind. you make it to the two bathrooms and you go and open the women’s bathroom door before it feels ten time lighter and you see subong holding the door open for you. giving you a cheeky grin. you just look at him before making your way into the bathroom and the door closing behind you. you hadn’t even noticed that you were holding your breath before you breathe out and realized your lungs were burning.
“i really have missed you, you know?”
you snap your head around and see that he had followed you into the bathroom and you call him a perv, yelling at him to get out.
“hey! i’m not here to fuck alright. i mean, unless you’re down then babe, let’s get it fucking going.”
he claps his hands together and you give him a disgusted look before going into one of the bathroom stalls and slamming the door shut so you could finally piss. but when you were done actually doing your business, you just sat there with your face in your hands. he was stressing you out, this baby was stressing you out, and this place was stressing you out and you were on the verge of a breakdown.
“i’m not coming out until you’re gone.”
you see his feet right under the bathroom stall door you were in and groan. hearing the door creak a little, assuming he was leaning against it, which he was.
“baby, please. i just want us again. i’ve missed you so much, you’ve been the only thing on my mind since you left.”
you started to tune him out and started rubbing your face in your hands even more, feeling your eyes start to water, your breath getting caught in your throat, your sniffing starting to become louder before one of your sobs slips and he hears it. asking if you were okay and you just ignore him, covering your mouth with your hand, continuing to cry.
“please let me in.”
you take a deep breath and slightly get up to unlock the door before sitting back down on the toilet seat, face still in your hands. he crouches down to you and cups your face in his hands before he pulls you in for a hug and starts rubbing circles into your back. your sobs getting louder as you burry your face into his bloody jacket, but you really weren’t thinking about that. god thinking of when you two were like this made you start to regret the past, yearn for a future with you two, and hate the present situation you were in. still crying into his jacket as he continues to try to soothe you with his touch. he pulls away after awhile and pushes your tears away with his thumb. his heart crumbling as he sees your teary orbs looking him in the eyes. you’d cried to him before when you were together, and he had comforted you many times before, but never had he seen you this distraught. he hooks his arm under your shoulder and lifts you to standing and he moves you out of the bathroom stall. you wipe your tears away, mumbling a sorry, avoiding all eye contact with him, looking at the ground.
“baby, look at me.”
your eyes look around at the ground before you slowly move your head up to look at him, a small pout on your lips. biting them from the nerves. it was a bad habit you’d never gotten rid of, you’ve had it since he’s met you. he looks at you, almost looking through your eyes. he places one hand on your arm, and grabs your right hand in his right hand, the matching tattoos clashing together.
“please, give me another chance. we’ll figure out the money, work, all of it.”
he pauses and looks down at your stomach. moving the hand that was on your arm to hold your stomach. looking up at you for confirmation that he could and you give him a small nod before he rubs the side of your tummy.
“i just can’t believe it. you should’ve told me!”
he raises his voice and you look away. still about to completely knaw off your lip.
“i didn’t think you’d want to stay. can you blame me?”
he pauses his rubs on your stomach, other hand still in yours and moves the hand that was on your stomach to your face, making you look at him. putting his thumb on your lips, getting you to stop biting them.
“i promise i want to be there for you and for our baby.”
you take a deep breath and he rubs his thumb on your tattoos.
“i won’t leave you, i’ll be better for us, i promise baby.”
you whisper under your breath. can’t believing you were about to say what was about to come out of your mouth.
“you promise…?”
his eyes light up.
“i promise baby.”
he pulls you into a tight hug and he hears you groan, forgetting that he might’ve been putting too much pressure on your belly. he gives you an awkward smile and he takes your hand into his and holds both your guys hands up to your face, as if showing you that he was never gonna let go of you again, and you two couldn’t be separated. you give him a light smile before letting go of his hand and he gives you a look of confusion.
“what? you never gave me the chance to wash my hands.”
#squid game x reader#squid game#player 230#player 230 x reader#subong x reader#thanos x reader#thanos fluff#subong fluff#player 230 fluff#squid game fluff#squid game comfort#choi subong x reader#choi su bong x reader#su bong x reader#yandere choi su bong#yandere squid game#yandere thanos#squid game smut#thanos smut#yandere squid game x reader#yandere thanos x reader#squid game angst
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WON'T YOU HOLD ME, CONSOLE ME ?
You don't expect your boyfriend to hold you or console you when you find out your pregnant, but you also didnt expect him to leave you without a trace either
Has no correlation to the other preg!reader fic i posted !!
GENRE: angst
PAIRING: Choi su-bong x preg!reader
"Fuck" thanos groans with his head thrown back, his hands covering his face while he steps away from you
Your hold around your stomach tightens as you don't look up, keeping your gaze at the ground
"I thought you were on that shitty pill?" Thanos glanced at you before letting out a prolonged sigh
"You know that it doesn't mean a hundred percent protection" you argue, eyebrows furrowing slightly "it's not my fault! You were the one who-"
"I know geez!"
"Then why are you getting so agitated!"
"Because" thanos spluttered "because this is a kid we're talking about"
You pause, not being able to think of anything to say back, instead retreating your eyes back at your stomach
"And it's my fucking kid. Mine" thanos points at himself in the chest
"Is that why your mad?" You hate the way your voice trembles "because it's your kid and not some random bastards on the street?"
"Watch your mouth" thanos snarls "you know it's not like that, do you want me to say that it is?"
"Ah fuck" your voice a few ratios higher than it usually was, you could feel the lump in your throat forming
Thanos sighs again, his eyes softening as he glances your face and your stomach
"Aish your fucking kidding me man, your the one who started arguing first" he grumbles annoyed, but approaches you with his arms open anyways
You push against his hold at first, anger still flaring inside of you but you end up giving in pretty fast, so desperately wanting to be held
"Are the pregnancy symptoms already kicking in?" Thanos asked while pulling your head to rest in his shoulders "what a pain" muttering under his breath
"You asshole" you sob while your hands ball into a fist
"Hey your carrying the asshole's kid, i don't think your one to speak" thanos adds in quickly, frowning "Don't make this harder than it already is"
Despite Thanos holding you in his arms, you hit him with your balled fist, your face streaming with tears
"Hey stop" thanos frowns "stop before I seriously get mad" he grips your hand "im not mad right now, but if you don't stop i will"
You sniffle softly, your head laying on his chest as his eyebrows are still furrowed with concern over the recent news of your pregnancy
"What are we gonna do?" You ask amidst sniffles
Thanos allows you to lean against him, staring at the wall of the cramped room the both of you lived in
"I dont know" he mutters "we could go to the hospital? Try for a..." his voice trails off. You knew what he was referring to
This just makes your sniffles louden even more causing him to inwardly groan, he never knew how to handle emotions as such, most of the time just shutting up and holding you or something along that line but that didn't seem to be the brightest thing to do and even Thanos knew that
"Su-bong" you whisper, your hands snaking around his waist, pressing yourself closer towards him as if to shield yourself
Thanos winces softly when he hears you call his real name, he always winces when he hears his real name.
He let's out a rough grunt of acknowledgement "What?"
"I don't think I want a abortion"
"Well fuck baby, we can't afford it either way. It was stupid of me to suggest" he lazily responds, while resting his face above your head
"We can't afford to raise it too" you murmer causing Thanos to shift uncomfortably
"I know" he snorts "fuck"
"So what will we do?"
Thanos hears the imploring tone of your voice. Most of the time he was the one asking you that question. In your relationship you were the one who took on the role of the logical one, but here you were, asking Thanos something that you both didn't know the answer to
"I'll-" thanos breathed "I'll figure something out"
You look up at him, moving your face away from his chest, your eyes pleading
"You sure you want the kid?" You ask him
"Your already pregnant anyways, i can't do anything about it"
"This isn't a joke" you retort loudly
"Your the one who said you don't want an abortion!" Thanos also raises his voice
"We can't afford it anyways you idiot!"
"Well damn, it's like i didn't just fucking say that like 5 seconds ago" he thundered which immediately cause you to tear up again
Thanos tilts his head down, pressing his lips into a tight straight line, regretting his actions almost immediately
"Hey" his voice rough and deep as he called out to you "look at me"
He purses his lips when he sees you still refusing to face him, your hands hiding your face
"Hey" he says more softly as he moves your hand away from your face "im sorry okay, cmon just look at me"
Thanos leans his head against yours while he clasps his hand around yours
"I'll figure something out" he raspily breathed out "I'll get a day job, fuck it baby, I'll get 2 day jobs"
You had no strength to talk back, choosing to silently nod
Thanos kisses your forehead while he wipes your tears away
"I said I'll figure something out, so stop your damn crying okay?" He says playfully, in an attempt to stop you from crying
You nodd slowly, causing him to smile tightly
he kneels down, facing your stomach "im sure the baby wouldn't want to hear his mom cry huh?" He announces as if though he was talking to the baby
He looks up to your face to see your face, trying to make you laugh or smile or anything at all
"You better not be a shit ass kid" thanos pokes your stomach softly "cause of you, your mom's hormones are going wild already"
"Asshole" you breathed with a laugh "im crying cause of you, fucking prick"
Thanos grins as he looks up to you, standing up he grabs your hand
"I swear" he picks your hands up, placing a soft kiss "ill figure something out for the three of us"
₊˚。⋆❆⋆。˚₊
Finding a job was hard
Especially as a retired rapper who basically got fucking conned by some asshole on the internet
Fucking bitch
Thanos stays up awake, leaning against the wall of the trashy one room so called apartment that you both lived in.
He inhales his cyan blue vape while eyeing the cigarette burn marks that painted the wall
His head thuds against the dirty peeling wallpaper, while you layed asleep on the floor across him, only a thin blanket covering your body
A soft smile graces his features when he notices the slight swell of your stomach
That's his kid right there, that's the mother of his child right there
Thanos couldn't afford to marry your right now, he wishes he could.
Fucking hell, he couldn't even afford a shitty ring let alone a ring that you actually deserved, he'd marry you with a plastic bottle seal if he could but he knew that you deserved more,
Damn, you deserve so much better than him, so much more than what he could give you
The kid in your stomach deserved better too. His kid
Thanos's smile fades away, leaving behind a grimace when he notices that the blanket doesn't fully cover your body, noticing the colour far beyond faded and the material already thinning out
He immediately unzips his jacket, going forward to place it above your body. It was the least that he could do
Suddenly, a piece of paper falls out of the pocket, he notices it as the card from the strange man earlier
Just thinking about it pissed him off, he recieved more slaps than money
Holding the card in his hand, he turns it over, mouthing the number behind the card, he swallows nervously unlike him while contemplating whether it was worth calling
Slowly typing in the digits in his phone he places his device on his ear, holding his breath as the phone rings
Once, twice, the phone continues to ring, thrice, now going four times
Thanos sighs, bringing the phone down, ready to press cancel when suddenly
"In order to sign up to play the game, please submit your name and date of birth"
Thanos breathes sharply, his finger wavering above the cancel button while your sleeping figure which remained unaware of what raced through your boyfriend's head
"Fuck" thanos curses, he glances at you
Thanos's hands trembled as he filled in his details, his pupils dilated, his mouth dried.
He knew what you'd say if you were awake, scolding him for being so naive and believing but you didn't meet that strange man in the grey suit did you?
He bites his lips when he reads the address and time of where he was suppose to go, noticing that the last date of entering the so called games was the current date
"I wont be gone for long" he mutters softly as he stands up, placing a kiss on your cheek before heading towards the door
He puts his old shoes on, the only branded ones he had left from back in his rapper days, the one who had picked for him, the only pair he didn't sell
He slips outside quietly, before sparring you one last glance
"Wait for me, just for a little bit" he whispered with a faint smile though it didnt quite didn't reach his eyes
He glances from your face to your stomach "your dad will be back with shit ton of money, i'll make sure you both live well"
He pauses before closing the door, contemplating for a minute, it felt so wrong to leave just like that,
He didn't want to go, it felt like the wrong thing to do but he steps out of the house anyway
"Take care of your mom when I'm gone"
₊˚。⋆❆⋆。˚₊
The next morning, you wake up warmer than you usually do, but you can't ignore the ever so persistent pounding of your heart
Your heart feels heavier than usual too
Noticing your boyfriend's jacket wrapped around you, you slowly wake up, looking for him
You look for him for the entire day,
it soon turns into 2 days and 2 days soon turn into 2 weeks
The bruise you recieved earlier that day after being chased down the street by some debt collectors begun to sting.
They didn't care whether you were pregnant or not, they just wanted the money you had borrowed from them back
And then that's when it hits you
When your standing on top cold floor of, with only your boyfriend's jacket left as a reminder of him,
He left.
He left without saying anything, without leaving even a single trace, he left not even with a single goodbye
He left you.
Your hand trails to your stomach.
He left the both of you
You sink down, legs giving out as your body trembles, you lie on the wilting cot that served as a place of comfort, sobbing, shrieking, crying his name out
Screaming anything that would have send him running towards you,
But no one comes.
Unbeknownst to you, at the very same time you fall on the ground, thanos's cold body is lifted up from the cold bathroom floor and packed into black coloured coffin
His eyes still wide open, his entire body covered in his own blood
When the guards strip his clothes away, they find something in his pocket
A plastic ring
it couldn't have been worth much, maybe from a kids toy, it left the guards puzzled
What would a person like Thanos be doing with a plastic ring in his pocket?
Perhaps you would understand it better
After all, he held you, consoled you. That prick even left you without a single trace
#fanfic#squid game thanos#squid game angst#squid game fanfic#squid game 2#squid game#squid game x reader#squid game thanos x reader#thanos x reader#choi su bong x reader#choi su bong#su bong x reader#su bong#thanos angst#squid game season 2#t.o.p x reader#t.o.p bigbang#t.o.p
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New Thangyu one shot! If you like Thangyu and you like angst, you should check it out!
#thangyu#thanos#choi su bong#nam gyu#thanos x nam gyu#oneshot book#oneshot#hanahaki#hanahaki disease#angst#sad ending#squid game#squid game 2#squid game s2#squid game season 2
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A Pearl - Player!230
Dark!Choi Su-bong/Thanos x Fem!Reader
Warnings: emotional and physical abuse, NONCON/DUBCON,substance abuse, manipulation, gaslighting, toxic relationships, childhood trauma
Summary: “I fell in love with a war, and nobody told me it ended.” You thought love was supposed to hurt. That it meant holding on when everything burned. Inspired by ‘A Pearl’-Mitski
MINORS DNI
A/n: this story is super heavy so just be prepared going into this. This is probably the darkest thing I’ve written. Also the bold means it’s a flashback. Lmk if yall fw. I love feedback. Lmk what you think!!
……………..
The house is too quiet.
Not the quiet that lulls you to sleep, the kind that hums with the soft rhythm of peace. No. This quiet is suffocating. It weighs down on your chest, fills your throat until you can’t swallow properly, and presses against your ears until every little sound feels magnified. The ticking of the clock is too loud. The hum of the refrigerator rattles through the walls like a warning. And the silence, that awful silence, screams louder than anything else.
You sit on the edge of the bed, the springs groaning under your weight as though the house itself is protesting your stillness. Your fingers move without thinking, the chain of your necklace twisted between them. You tug it forward, letting the locket fall into your palm. The cool metal feels heavier tonight, like it knows something you don’t. You trace the shape of the rose etched into the surface—a small, intricate carving, its petals curling toward the center where the gold is worn smooth from years of touch.
When you were a child, you’d thought the rose was magic. Your parents had given it to you for your twelfth birthday, saving for months to afford something so fine. Your father had clasped it around your neck with careful fingers, your mother watching with teary eyes, saying it was for the little lady you were becoming. You’d carried it with you everywhere, opening the locket a dozen times a day just to see the tiny, faded photo inside—a family portrait taken before everything went wrong. The three of you, smiling despite the faded edges of your clothes, despite the peeling wallpaper behind you. Your father’s arm was wrapped tightly around your mother, and she was holding you on her lap, her hand tucked over yours. You remember the way her hair smelled like rosemary, the way your father’s laugh used to make your chest flutter.
You hadn’t worn the locket in years, not until him. Not until Su-bong had found it in your drawer, tucked away like a secret. “What’s this?” he’d asked, holding it up in the air between two fingers, his expression teasing but curious. When you’d hesitated, he’d snapped the clasp open before you could stop him, his brows raising slightly at the photo.
“Wow,” he’d said with a lopsided grin, tossing it back into your lap like it didn’t matter. “Didn’t know you were the sentimental type.”
You’d put it on that night, your chest burning with embarrassment. You’ve worn it every day since, the metal resting against your skin like armor.
Now, it feels like a lifeline. You wrap your hand around it tightly, letting the edges dig into your palm. The chain pulls against your neck, but you don’t loosen your grip. It’s the only thing keeping you grounded as your thoughts spiral. He left hours ago—another night, another excuse. He hadn’t even stopped to look at you when you asked him to stay.
“Do you really need to go? It’s already late.”
He’d barely paused to shove his shoes on, his hair falling into his face as he fumbled with the laces. His jacket had hung off one shoulder, sloppily thrown on in his hurry to leave. “Don’t start,” he’d muttered, voice low and clipped.
“I just—Su-bong, please.” Your voice had cracked, small and unsure, the way it always did when you tried to hold him back.
That was when he’d stopped. Just for a moment. He’d looked up at you then, a flash of irritation cutting through the haze in his eyes. “I won’t be long,” he’d said, his tone sharp enough to make you flinch. Then he was gone, slamming the door behind him hard enough to make the picture frames rattle against the walls.
He hasn’t come back. You’re not sure if he will.
You glance at the clock on the nightstand. 2:47 AM. The seconds tick by, loud and relentless. You press the locket against your lips, as though the cool metal might soothe the heat rising in your throat. The ache in your chest twists tighter, suffocating and raw, and you force yourself to stand.
The bedroom is dark, lit only by the faint yellow glow of the streetlamp outside. The shadow of the blinds cuts across the walls like a cage. You make your way to the window, each step slow and deliberate. Your legs feel heavy, your bare feet brushing against the cold floor. The night outside is still, the air thick with fog. You half expect to see him stumbling down the street, his head tilted to one side, his steps uneven. But there’s nothing. Just the empty road stretching out into the dark, a void that swallows everything in its path.
Your stomach churns. You don’t even know why you bother looking for him anymore. He never answers your texts when he’s out. He never picks up his phone. He always comes back when he wants to, not a moment before, and when he does, it’s like you’re supposed to forget he ever left. “What are you so worried about?” he always says, brushing you off like you’re a child. “I’m fine. Just let it go, babe.”
He never understands why you can’t let it go.
Your fingers shake as you unlock your phone, scrolling through your empty messages. The last text you’d sent hours ago—“Let me know when you’re on your way home.”—sits unread, untouched. You’d stared at the screen for so long that your eyes had blurred, waiting for the little dots to appear. They never did.
You close the app and toss the phone onto the bed, breathing out shakily. Your chest tightens as you imagine him laughing somewhere, his hand wrapped around a bottle, surrounded by people who don’t care that he’s tearing you apart piece by piece. He’ll come home eventually, his breath hot and sour against your skin, his hands rough and insistent. You’ll let him touch you, because it’s easier than saying no. Because it hurts too much to fight him when he’s like that. Because at least when he’s touching you, you know where he is.
The thought makes your stomach turn. You press your hand to your mouth, your breath shaking against your palm. The metal of the locket digs into your skin again, grounding you, keeping you here, when all you want to do is disappear.
The house is too quiet. The clock ticks louder.
And he’s still not here.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
The light in the hallway buzzes faintly, flickering every so often. You’re leaning against the bathroom door, your back pressed flat against the wood, knees curled up tight to your chest. Your heartbeat pounds in your ears, too fast, too loud, until it feels like your whole body is vibrating with it. You can hear him on the other side—his voice rising, slurring, vibrating with that sharp, manic edge that always makes your stomach churn.
“Open the door!” His fist collides with the wood, hard enough to make the frame rattle. “Don’t fucking ignore me!”
The sound sends a jolt through your body. Your hands grip the locket around your neck so tightly the edges press into your palm, the thin gold chain pulling taut against your skin. You don’t even notice the sting. You’re not thinking about anything except how close he sounds. How loud. How angry.
You squeeze your eyes shut, your breathing shallow, uneven. You tell yourself to be quiet—don’t make a sound, don’t move—but your body isn’t listening. Your knees are shaking so badly they knock against the door, the vibration rattling the hinges.
“I’m not gonna fucking ask again!” The next hit is harder, a sharp, jarring kick that makes the whole door shudder. You gasp before you can stop yourself, slapping a hand over your mouth, but it’s too late.
“Oh, so now you’re scared?” he sneers, his voice dropping low and venomous. You can picture the way his lips curl when he says it, that smug, mocking smile that always makes your stomach turn. “What, you think this door is gonna save you? You think I won’t fucking break it down?”
The door shudders again—another kick, harder this time, and you flinch so violently that your head knocks back against the wood. A crack splinters through the frame, faint but audible, and you can feel the panic crawling up your throat.
You press the locket tighter against your chest, the rose etched into its surface digging into your skin. You focus on the weight of it, the coldness of the gold, the soft click of the clasp when it used to open. Anything to keep your mind from spiraling too far. But it’s not enough. Nothing is enough.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~Earlier That Night~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
The night had started quietly, the house dimly lit as you waited for him to come home. He’d promised you that morning, “I’m staying in tonight, alright? No bullshit.” You hadn’t believed him—not really—but some part of you had wanted to. Some part of you had clung to that tiny, fragile hope like it meant something.
When the door slammed open hours later, you knew.
You’d smelled the whiskey first. It clung to him like a second skin, sharp and sour, mixing with the faint scent of cigarettes that always seemed to follow him. His steps were uneven, his hand gripping the doorframe for balance before he stumbled further inside. He didn’t look at you, didn’t say anything. He just went straight for the kitchen.
You’d stood in the doorway, your chest tightening as you watched him dig through the drawers, muttering under his breath. When he pulled out the pill bottle, your heart dropped.
“Seriously, Su-bong?” you said, your voice sharp before you could stop yourself. “You’re already drunk.”
He didn’t even look at you. He popped the cap off with a flick of his thumb, dumping two pills into his palm and swallowing them dry. “Relax,” he muttered, like you were the one being unreasonable. “I’m fine.”
Something in you snapped. You crossed the room, grabbing the bottle from his hand and slamming it onto the counter. The sound was loud, jarring, but it didn’t make him flinch. If anything, he looked bored.
“Fine?” you snapped. “You can barely fucking stand, and you think you’re fine?”
That got his attention. He turned to you, his gaze narrowing, sharp and calculating even through the haze. A slow, bitter grin spread across his face.
“Oh, so now you’re the expert, huh?” he said, his voice low and mocking. He stepped closer, the smell of alcohol making your stomach churn. “Since when do you give a shit what I do?”
The casual cruelty of it made your throat tighten, your anger dissolving into something smaller, something more fragile. You tried again, softer this time.
“You don’t have to do this,” you said, your voice quiet, careful. “Just… stay home tonight. Please.”
For a second, you thought he might listen. His gaze dropped to the floor, his jaw tightening. He looked tired. Worn out. You could almost see the man you used to know beneath the haze.
But then he shook his head, huffing out a bitter laugh. “I can’t stay here all night listening to your shit.”
You stepped in front of the door before you could stop yourself, your chest tight with something between panic and determination.
“You’re not going anywhere,” you said, your hands trembling as you tried to sound steady.
His head snapped up, his gaze locking on yours. His face twisted into something colder, sharper, and for the first time that night, you felt the first flicker of fear.
“Move,” he said, his voice low and clipped.
You shook your head. “No. I’m serious, Su-bong—”
It happened too fast. One second he was standing there, and the next his hand was wrapped around your arm, gripping so tightly you gasped.
“Don’t fucking tell me what to do,” he snarled, dragging you to the side like you weighed nothing.
Your other hand shot out instinctively, pushing against his chest as hard as you could. He barely stumbled, but the movement seemed to snap something in him. His hand jerked, his grip tightening until you felt the sharp pinch of his nails digging into your skin.
“You fucking bitch,” he spat, and that’s when you ran.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Your breath is coming too fast, too shallow, making your head spin. The pounding on the door has stopped, but you don’t feel any relief. Not yet.
“You’re so fucking pathetic,” he says, his voice quieter now but no less venomous. “Hiding in there like a fucking child. You think I need this shit? You think anyone else would put up with you?”
The words hit harder than his fists ever could. Your hands tighten around the locket until the rose leaves an imprint in your palm, the edges sharp and unforgiving.
You don’t respond. You don’t move. You just sit there, shaking, waiting for him to leave.
Eventually, he does. The front door slams behind him, and the silence that follows is heavier than the noise.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
The clock’s ticking feels slower now, like it’s dragging time with it. The minutes stretch and warp until they don’t feel like minutes anymore. Just this endless, dragging ache that lives in the pit of your stomach and refuses to leave.
You’re sitting at the kitchen table now, your phone lying in front of you, facedown like it’s mocking you. There’s a mug of tea in your hands, untouched. It’s lukewarm now, the steam long gone, but you don’t put it down. You hold it tightly, your fingers wrapped around the ceramic, because at least it’s something to hold. At least it gives your hands something to do besides tremble.
The house is dark except for the faint glow of the light over the stove. It casts long shadows across the counters, over the piles of unopened mail and empty bottles that have been gathering there for weeks. You keep meaning to clean, but every time you think about it, your body refuses to move. It’s hard enough to get out of bed most days, let alone scrub the smell of him out of the walls.
You glance at your phone again, your chest tightening as though it might vibrate, might light up with his name. It doesn’t. It never does, not when you’re waiting like this. You should be used to it by now, but the sting of it never dulls.
The worst part is, you don’t know if you want him to come home.
You close your eyes, letting your head drop forward, the heel of your hand pressing against the locket that hangs around your neck. The edges of the rose dig into your skin, sharp enough to leave marks. It grounds you, keeps your thoughts from spinning too far out of control.
But the memories are harder to stop. They come rushing in like they always do, filling the silence with the sound of his voice, his laugh, the way he used to look at you like you were something soft, something beautiful, something breakable. He doesn’t look at you like that anymore.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
You can still see the first time he smiled at you—really smiled, that kind of stupid grin that made your chest feel too full. You’d been sitting across from him at some shitty little diner, your fork pushing around a plate of cold fries while he talked about some dream he’d had, something ridiculous about a casino and a dog wearing sunglasses. It wasn’t even funny, but the way he told it made you laugh so hard your face hurt. You’d leaned forward, your elbows on the table, and he’d just stopped. Mid-sentence, he’d stopped, like he couldn’t believe you were there.
“You’re cute,” he’d said, simple and easy, like it wasn’t the kind of thing that would stick with you for years.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
You open your eyes and the memory dissolves, slipping away into the dark like it never happened. You feel stupid for thinking about it, for still holding onto those pieces of him like they mean something. Like they haven’t been buried under all the yelling and the slammed doors and the nights you spent wondering if he’d ever come home.
You set the mug down on the table, your hands shaking slightly as you fold them in your lap. The quiet feels heavier now, pressing down on your chest until it’s hard to breathe.
What if he doesn’t come back this time? The thought creeps in before you can stop it, wrapping itself around your throat like a noose. It’s not the first time you’ve wondered, but it’s the first time it’s felt real. Like a possibility instead of a threat.
You try to tell yourself that you’d be fine if he didn’t. You’d figure it out. You’d get up tomorrow, make coffee, go to work, clean the house, move on. But the thought of it—of him not being here, of him leaving without even a word—makes your chest feel like it’s caving in. You clutch the necklace tighter, the chain pulling taut against the back of your neck.
He always comes back. He always does.
But what if this time is different?
The clock ticks louder. The house is too quiet.
And you’re still waiting.
~~~~~~~~~~~
The door slams hard enough to shake the walls. You feel it in your chest, a dull, rattling thud that echoes through the quiet house. Your stomach twists, the dread rising so fast it feels like a sickness. You already know how this night is going to end.
You’re still sitting at the kitchen table, the cold mug of tea in front of you. It’s been hours since he left, and you’d given up hope of him coming home sober somewhere around midnight. But now that he’s here, a part of you wishes he’d stayed gone.
You hear his footsteps before you see him, the uneven shuffle of his boots dragging against the floor. When he stumbles into view, it’s like you’ve summoned him with your thoughts. His hair is messy, sticking to his forehead with sweat, and his jacket is hanging off one shoulder. He looks at you, his eyes glassy, his mouth curling into a sloppy grin that makes your chest ache.
“There you are,” he says, his voice low and hoarse. He sounds almost affectionate, but there’s a sharp edge beneath it, the kind that makes your throat tighten.
You don’t say anything. You can’t. Your hands are clenched in your lap, your nails digging into your palms. You’re trying to stay calm, trying to keep your breathing even, but your heart is already pounding.
He doesn’t seem to notice. He walks toward you, his movements slow and unsteady, and leans against the table with one hand. The other hand reaches out to brush a strand of hair away from your face.
“Why are you sitting here all alone?” he murmurs, his tone soft now, almost sweet. The contrast makes you want to scream.
You pull back slightly, your jaw tightening. “Where were you?” you ask, your voice barely above a whisper. You hate how small you sound, but it’s all you can manage.
His grin falters, and for a second, something colder flickers across his face. “Don’t start,” he mutters, standing up straight. “I don’t want to hear it right now.”
“I’ve been waiting for hours, Su-bong.” You can hear the edge creeping into your voice now, but you can’t stop it. The anger is bubbling up, sharp and bitter, mixing with the fear in your chest. “You said you’d be home—”
“I said, don’t start,” he snaps, cutting you off. His voice is louder now, the sharpness in it making you flinch. He takes a step closer, and you can smell the alcohol on his breath, heavy and sour. “What’s your problem, huh? Why do you always have to make a big fucking deal out of everything?”
Your throat tightens, the words you want to say choking on the way up. You look away, your gaze dropping to the table. You can’t do this tonight. You can’t fight him when he’s like this.
But he doesn’t let it go.
“Look at me,” he says, his voice quieter now but no less demanding. He reaches for your chin, tilting your face up to meet his gaze. “Why are you so mad, huh? You missed me?”
You don’t answer. You don’t move. You just stare at him, your chest tight with a mix of anger and something that feels too much like fear.
His thumb brushes against your cheek, and his mouth curls into that lopsided grin again. “Come on, baby,” he murmurs, leaning down until his face is inches from yours. “Don’t be like that.”
The kiss is sudden, his lips pressing against yours hard enough to make you pull back instinctively. You turn your head, breaking the contact, but his hand moves to the back of your neck, holding you in place.
“Su-bong, stop,” you say, your voice shaking. You try to push him back, but he doesn’t budge. His grip tightens, his other hand sliding down to your waist.
“You’re so tense,” he mutters, his lips brushing against your ear. “Relax.”
You push harder this time, your hands pressing against his chest, but it only seems to annoy him. His movements become rougher, his fingers digging into your skin as he pulls you to your feet.
“Stop it!” you cry, your voice rising in panic. “I don’t want to—”
“Don’t fucking tell me what to do,” he snaps, his voice low and sharp. He spins you around, pressing you against the edge of the table, his body trapping yours in place.
Your heart is pounding now, the fear clawing its way up your throat. You keep trying to push him away, but he’s stronger, and he’s not listening.
The locket around your neck catches on the edge of the table, the chain pulling tight against your skin. Your hand shoots up instinctively, clutching it, your fingers trembling as you press it against your chest.
“Su-bong, please,” you whisper, your voice breaking.
He doesn’t answer. His hands are on your hips now, his grip bruising as he pulls you closer. The tears sting at the corners of your eyes, but you don’t let them fall. You don’t move. You don’t fight. You just stare at the wall, your breathing shallow, your fingers clutching the locket like it’s the only thing holding you together.
You can hear him murmuring something under his breath—something about how good you feel, how much he missed you—but the words blur together, lost in the haze of your thoughts. You’re not here anymore. You’re somewhere else. Somewhere quiet.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
The house is still. The only sound is his breathing, slow and heavy as he lies beside you, one arm draped carelessly over your waist. You don’t move. You don’t even blink.
The locket is still in your hand, the imprint of the rose etched into your palm. You stare at the ceiling, your chest rising and falling with shallow breaths, and try to ignore the ache between your legs.
The tears come later, after he’s asleep. You press your face into the pillow, your shoulders shaking as you cry silently into the dark.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
The car engine rumbles beneath you, a low, uneven growl that vibrates through the seat and into your chest. Su-bong’s hand is loose on the wheel, his other arm resting on the open window as the wind whips through the car. He’s not driving fast, but the way he keeps drifting too close to the curb, jerking the wheel at the last second, makes your stomach twist.
You press your hand against your thigh, trying to keep it from shaking, and force your gaze to stay on the road. You don’t want to look at him. You don’t want to see the glassy, unfocused look in his eyes or the faint grin that keeps twitching at the corner of his mouth. He hasn’t said much since you left the bar—just a few muttered curses under his breath, his jaw tight and his grip on the wheel tightening every time he takes a turn too sharply.
You want to tell him to stop. To pull over. To let you drive. But the words stick in your throat, thick and heavy, like a stone weighing you down. You know how that conversation will end. He’ll snap at you, tell you to relax, accuse you of trying to control him. And you’re too tired to argue. Too tired to do anything except sit there and hope the car doesn’t drift too far into the wrong lane.
The silence feels heavier than the rumble of the engine.
“You embarrassed me,” he mutters suddenly, his voice breaking the quiet like a crack of thunder.
You flinch, your hands tightening in your lap. “I wasn’t trying to,” you say quietly, your gaze still fixed on the road ahead.
He snorts, shaking his head. “Really? Because, You had to make a fucking scene, didn’t you? In front of everyone.”
The heat rises in your chest, sharp and stifling, but you press it down. You’ve gotten good at that—at swallowing your anger, letting it fester somewhere deep inside where it can’t escape. “I wasn’t trying to make a scene,” you say again, your voice quieter this time. “I just… I didn’t want you to drink anymore.”
“Why do you care?” he snaps, glancing at you out of the corner of his eye. His grin is gone now, replaced by that sharp, mocking sneer that makes your stomach churn. “What’s it to you?”
You don’t answer. You don’t trust yourself to.
The car jerks suddenly as he swerves to avoid a parked car, and your heart leaps into your throat. He laughs—a short, bitter sound that makes your skin crawl—and slams his palm against the steering wheel. “Relax,” he mutters, his voice dripping with irritation. “Jesus, you’re so fucking tense all the time. It’s not that serious.”
It feels serious. Everything about this feels serious—the car, the road, the weight of his anger pressing down on you like a hand around your throat.
You don’t say anything else for the rest of the drive. You just stare out the window, watching the dark streets blur together, and press your hand against the locket around your neck, the edges of the rose digging into your skin.
~~~~~~~~~
The house looks worse than the last time you saw it, though you’re not sure how that’s even possible. It’s his friend’s place. The place they all went to drink themselves into oblivion, and share drugs.
The porch sags under its own weight, the roof dotted with holes that make it look like it’s caving in. The windows are either boarded up or covered with newspaper, and the light above the door flickers weakly, casting the entire place in a sickly yellow glow.
Su-bong doesn’t wait for you to follow. He slams the car door shut behind him and walks up the steps, his boots heavy against the rotting wood. You hesitate for a moment, your hand still resting on the car door, and try to swallow the lump in your throat. You don’t want to go in there. You don’t want to see his friends, to feel their eyes on you, to sit in that awful, stifling air and pretend you’re okay.
But you don’t have a choice. Not really.
The inside of the house smells worse than you remember—like sweat, beer, and something sharp and chemical that makes your nose burn. The walls are yellowed with smoke, the carpet littered with cigarette butts and broken glass. There’s a coffee table in the middle of the room, its surface covered in ashtrays, empty pill bottles, and the faint glitter of crushed powder.
Su-bong’s friends are sprawled across the couches and chairs, their laughter filling the room like static. One of them glances up as you walk in, his bloodshot eyes narrowing slightly. He doesn’t say anything. Neither do you.
Su-bong shrugs off his jacket, tossing it onto the back of a chair, and grabs a beer off the table without a word.
“You’re late,” one of the guys Nam-gyu mutters, a cigarette hanging loosely from his lips. He’d been friends with Su-bong for a long time. Before you even met him.
“Yeah, well,” Su-bong mutters, twisting the cap off the bottle with his teeth. “Got caught up.”
Nam-gyu glances at you, his gaze lingering a little too long, and something tightens in your chest. Su-bong notices, too. He sets the beer down and shoots the guy a look, his voice sharp as he says, “What the fuck are you staring at?”
Nam-gyu laughs, holding his hands up in mock surrender. His sweaty hair falling around his face, framing it.“Nothing, man. Relax.”
Su-bong doesn’t say anything else. He just takes another sip of his beer, his eyes flicking toward you briefly before turning back to the table.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
The hallway feels narrower than it should. The light from the main room barely reaches back here, leaving everything steeped in shadow, the air growing thicker and harder to breathe the farther you go. You can hear the faint hum of the television from the living room, the muffled sound of laughter and the clinking of bottles. The floor beneath you creaks with every step, the uneven boards sticky against your shoes.
The door to the back room is half-open, the dim yellow light spilling into the hallway. Su-bong pulls you inside without a word, his grip firm around your wrist. The door shuts behind you with a soft thud, sealing the two of you into the suffocating darkness.
Your first instinct is to stop breathing. The smell hits you like a wall—stale sweat, mildew, and the sour, chemical tang of old beer. There’s a mattress on the floor, sagging in the middle, its surface stained with patches of something dark and unrecognizable. The fabric is dotted with cigarette burns, the edges curling up like it’s been sitting here for years.
A single roach skitters across the corner of the mattress, vanishing into a crack in the wall before you can even process what you’ve seen.
Your stomach churns, your body screaming at you to leave, leave, leave, but Su-bong is already pulling you toward the mattress, his hands clumsy and insistent as they find your waist.
“Su-bong,” you whisper, your voice trembling. “Stop.”
He doesn’t listen.
His breath is hot and sour against your neck, reeking of alcohol and something sharp and metallic. His hands slide up your sides, rough and impatient, tugging at the fabric of your shirt. You push against him weakly, your palms flat against his chest, but he’s too strong, too stubborn, and you’re too tired to fight.
“Relax,” he mutters, his voice low and hoarse. His fingers grip your shirt harder, pulling it up over your head before you can stop him. “You’re always so fucking tense.”
The room feels smaller now, the walls pressing in on you as the smell of sweat and mildew grows thicker, coating the back of your throat. You tilt your head away from him, your gaze darting to the ceiling, to the cracks in the plaster and the faint shimmer of cobwebs in the corner.
The locket presses against your chest, its familiar weight grounding you in a way that feels almost cruel. Your fingers brush against it, trembling as you press it harder into your skin.
“I don’t want to,” you whisper, barely audible.
He pauses for a second, his head tilting slightly, and you think—for just a moment—that he might stop. That he might actually hear you. But then he sighs, annoyed, and grabs your wrist, pulling your hand away from your chest.
“Don’t start,” he mutters, his grip tightening as he pushes you down onto the mattress. The fabric feels damp beneath you, sticky and rough against your skin, and you can feel something small and hard digging into your back—a piece of broken glass, maybe, or a shard of plastic.
You want to cry. You want to scream. But the lump in your throat won’t let you make a sound.
His hands are on you again, rougher this time, tugging at your waistband and pulling you closer. The mattress groans under his weight, the springs creaking loudly enough to drown out the sound of your shaky breathing.
You stop fighting. It’s always easier that way.
The smell of him overwhelms you—sweat, cigarettes, whiskey—and the sound of his voice blurs into static as your mind starts to drift. You stare at the wall, at the faint shadows moving across its surface, and try to focus on anything else.
Your fingers close around the locket again, the edges of the rose pressing into your palm. You focus on the feel of it, the coolness of the metal, the way it feels against your skin. You roll it between your fingers, clutching it tightly, and let your mind go quiet.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
The room is silent except for the sound of his breathing—heavy and uneven as he collapses beside you, his arm draped carelessly over your waist. The mattress shifts under his weight, the springs creaking one last time before the quiet settles over you like a blanket.
You don’t move. You don’t speak. You just lie there, staring at the ceiling, your fingers still curled around the locket.
There’s a roach on the wall above you, its legs moving slowly as it crawls toward the corner of the room. You watch it for a moment, your chest rising and falling with shallow breaths, before closing your eyes.
The smell lingers—on your skin, in your hair, in the back of your throat. You know you won’t be able to wash it off, not entirely. It’ll stay with you, just like everything else.
You don’t realize you’re crying until the tears start to slip down your temples, soaking into the filthy mattress beneath you.
~~~~~~~~~~~
The car ride home is silent.
Not the kind of silence that settles naturally, soft and comfortable. This silence is jagged, sharp enough to cut, stretching tight between the two of you like a rubber band about to snap. The sound of the engine hums beneath you, broken only by the occasional crunch of gravel as Su-bong drifts too close to the shoulder.
His hands grip the wheel loosely, his knuckles brushing against the cracked leather as he leans back in the seat. His head tilts slightly to the side, his eyes half-lidded and glassy, and you can smell the whiskey on him even from here.
You press your hand against the locket around your neck, your fingers curling around the metal as your chest tightens. You don’t dare look at him.
The tension in the car is suffocating, pressing against your chest like a weight. Your throat feels tight, your pulse thudding in your ears. You want to say something, anything, to break the silence—but the words stick in your throat, thick and heavy, refusing to come out.
When the house finally comes into view, you feel a flicker of relief. But it’s fleeting, gone as quickly as it came, replaced by the hollow ache that’s been sitting in your chest all night.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
The door slams behind you as Su-bong stumbles into the living room, tossing his jacket onto the couch without a second glance. You linger near the doorway, your hand still gripping the locket tightly, as though it might anchor you to something real.
The house is dark except for the faint glow of the streetlamp outside. Shadows stretch across the walls, long and jagged, and the air feels heavy, stagnant, like it’s holding its breath.
Su-bong doesn’t say anything. He doesn’t even look at you. He just collapses onto the couch, his head tilting back against the cushion, his eyes closed.
For a moment, you think he might pass out.
But then he sighs—a long, low sound that seems to echo in the silence—and drags a hand down his face. His fingers rub against his temples, slow and deliberate, and his leg bounces restlessly against the floor.
“You’re mad,” he mutters, his voice slurred but steady.
You don’t respond.
He opens his eyes, tilting his head to look at you. There’s something in his gaze—something searching, something almost vulnerable—that makes your stomach twist.
“Say something,” he says, his voice quieter now.
You stare at him, the weight of his gaze pressing down on you like a physical force. Your chest aches, the words you want to say bubbling up inside you, but you swallow them down. You don’t trust yourself to speak.
His leg stops bouncing. He leans forward, his elbows resting on his knees, his hands clasped together as he looks at the floor.
“I know I fucked up,” he says quietly. “I know that.”
The words hang in the air, brittle and heavy, and you feel your fingers tighten around the locket.
“I shouldn’t have taken you there,” he continues, his voice breaking slightly. “I shouldn’t have… I shouldn’t have done any of it.”
He looks up at you then, his eyes glassy and rimmed with exhaustion. “I don’t even know why you put up with me,” he says, his voice cracking. “I’m such a fucking mess.”
He stands up slowly, unsteady on his feet, and takes a step toward you. His hands reach for yours, warm and trembling slightly as they close around your wrists.
“I don’t want to lose you,” he says, his voice low and desperate. “You’re all I have. You’re the only thing that keeps me together.”
Your breath catches in your throat, your chest tightening as you stare at him. You want to pull away, to put distance between you, but his grip is firm, almost pleading.
“I’ll do better,” he says, his words spilling out in a rush. “I’ll stop drinking, I’ll stop everything. I’ll get clean. I swear to God, I’ll do it for you.”
You close your eyes, the tears stinging at the corners as you shake your head. “You’ve said that before,” you whisper, your voice trembling.
“I mean it this time,” he insists, his grip tightening slightly. His voice cracks on the last word, and you can feel the tremor in his hands. “I’ll prove it to you. I’ll do whatever it takes. Just… please don’t give up on me. Please.”
He steps closer, his voice dropping to a near whisper. “You think anyone else is gonna love you like I do?” he asks, his tone soft but cutting. “You think anyone else is gonna put up with you?”
Your breath hitches, the words cutting deeper than they should.
“Your family doesn’t want you,” he says, his voice cracking slightly, like he’s holding back tears. “They’ve never wanted you. But me? I love you. I need you. You’re the only good thing I’ve got.”
The locket feels heavy in your hand, the edges of the rose digging into your palm. You want to scream, to push him away, to tell him to stop—but the lump in your throat won’t let you speak.
“What if you can’t?” you whisper, your voice breaking. “What if you don’t stop? What if it’s always going to be like this?”
He shakes his head, his expression tightening with something that almost looks like panic. “It won’t be,” he says quickly. “I swear, baby. I’ll fix it. I’ll fix everything.”
The tears slip down your cheeks, hot and relentless, and you press your free hand to your face, trying to stifle the quiet sob that escapes your lips.
“Please,” he whispers, his voice breaking. He pulls you into his arms, his grip almost crushing as he presses his face against your hair. “Just give me another chance. That’s all I need. One more chance.”
You don’t hug him back.
But you don’t pull away, either.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~
He falls asleep hours later, curled up beside you on the bed, his breathing slow and even. You sit there in the dark, staring at the wall, the locket clutched tightly in your hand.
You want to believe him. You want to believe him so badly it hurts.
But deep down, you already know this isn’t the last time he’ll make this promise.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
The first sign is the smell.
It hits you when you walk into the living room one evening, faint at first, like a memory trying to claw its way to the surface. You pause in the doorway, your hand tightening around the frame as you try to place it. It’s familiar. Sharp and acrid, clinging to the air like a ghost.
Cigarettes.
He’d thrown out the pack weeks ago. You’d watched him do it—watched the way his jaw tightened as he flicked the lighter one last time, muttering under his breath about how he didn’t need it, how it was “just a habit” and “no big deal.”
“I’m serious this time, baby,” he’d said, his voice almost convincing. “No more of this shit. I’m done.”
But now, the smell is here again, seeping into the walls, curling in the back of your throat like smoke.
You don’t see him at first. The room is dim, lit only by the faint glow of the TV, the sound muted to a soft hum. The curtains are drawn tight, blocking out the fading daylight, and the air feels heavier than it should.
He’s on the couch, slouched low with one leg thrown over the armrest, the other foot flat on the floor. A cigarette dangles from his fingers, the ash building up dangerously close to the filter, and there’s a bottle of something dark and half-empty on the coffee table.
Your stomach twists.
“Su-bong?”
He doesn’t look up. His eyes are fixed on the TV, the flickering images reflecting in his glassy gaze. The smoke curls up from the cigarette, disappearing into the stale air, and you can see the faint rise and fall of his chest as he exhales slowly.
“What are you doing?” you ask, your voice trembling slightly.
He blinks, slow and deliberate, like it takes effort to process the sound of your voice. When he finally turns to you, his lips curl into a lazy, lopsided grin that makes your chest ache.
“What’s it look like?” he mutters, holding up the cigarette like it’s some kind of joke.
You take a step closer, your hands curling into fists at your sides. “I thought you quit.”
He shrugs, leaning back against the couch with a sigh. “Yeah, well.” He takes a drag from the cigarette, the ember flaring bright in the dim room, and exhales the smoke through his nose. “Didn’t stick, I guess.”
Your chest tightens. You can feel the anger bubbling up inside you, sharp and hot, but it’s tangled with something else—something smaller, something that feels too much like disappointment.
“You said you’d stop,” you say, your voice breaking slightly.
He laughs—low and bitter—and takes another drag, the smoke curling around his lips as he exhales. “Yeah, and you said you’d stop nagging me. Guess we’re both full of shit, huh?”
The words hit harder than they should, knocking the air out of your lungs. For a moment, all you can do is stand there, staring at him, the lump in your throat growing tighter with every second that passes.
It doesn’t stop with the cigarettes.
The next day, it’s the pills. You find the bottle on the kitchen counter, the cap loose, a few of the tablets scattered across the surface like they’d been spilled in a rush.
Your heart sinks as you pick it up, the plastic cool against your palm. You stare at the label, your chest tightening as you recognize the name—one you haven’t seen in weeks, not since the last time he swore he was done.
You don’t even notice him standing behind you until his voice cuts through the silence.
“You going through my shit now?”
You spin around, the bottle clutched tightly in your hand. “I found it on the counter,” you say, your voice sharp. “You’re not even trying to hide it anymore?”
He steps closer, his eyes narrowing slightly, and you can smell the faint tang of alcohol on his breath. “What’s your problem?” he mutters, snatching the bottle from your hand. “It’s not a big deal.”
“Not a big deal?” Your voice rises, trembling with anger and something closer to panic. “You promised me, Su-bong. You said you were done with this.”
He laughs again—that same bitter, careless sound that makes your chest ache—and shoves the bottle into his pocket. “Yeah, well, promises can be broken.”
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
It all comes to a head one night when he stumbles in late, his steps uneven and his voice loud enough to wake the neighbors.
You’re sitting on the edge of the bed, the locket clutched tightly in your hand, when you hear the front door slam. The sound reverberates through the house, rattling the picture frames on the walls, and you feel your chest tighten as the familiar dread settles over you like a weight.
The footsteps are uneven, shuffling, and you can hear the faint clink of glass as he moves through the house. By the time he reaches the bedroom, your hands are trembling, the metal of the locket cool and sharp against your skin.
The door swings open, and he’s there, leaning heavily against the frame. His hair is a mess, sticking to his forehead with sweat, and his jacket is hanging off one shoulder. There’s a bottle in his hand, nearly empty, and his grin is wide and lopsided, his eyes glassy.
“Hey, baby,” he slurs, his voice low and hoarse.
You don’t say anything. You don’t move. You just sit there, staring at him, your chest tight with a mix of anger, sadness, and something that feels too much like fear.
He stumbles into the room, dropping the bottle onto the floor with a dull thud. The smell of whiskey clings to him, heavy and sour, and when he sits down beside you, the mattress dips under his weight.
“Why’re you sitting in here all alone?” he murmurs, his voice soft now, almost affectionate. The contrast makes your stomach turn.
You pull back slightly, your jaw tightening. “Where were you?” you ask, your voice barely above a whisper.
He shrugs, leaning back on his hands. “Out.”
“You were supposed to be getting clean,” you say, your voice trembling.
He laughs—soft and breathy—and shakes his head. “Clean’s overrated.”
It’s different this time, though. The relapse isn’t just about him anymore. It’s about you—how much you can take, how much you can survive before the cracks in your foundation become too wide to repair.
You sit there in the dark, your chest rising and falling with shallow breaths, the weight of his relapse pressing down on you like a hand around your throat. The locket is still in your hand, the rose etched into its surface digging into your palm, but it doesn’t feel like enough.
It never feels like enough.
He’s laughing softly now, his voice slurring as he mutters something you can’t quite hear. His head tilts back, his eyes fluttering shut, and you know he won’t remember any of this in the morning.
But you will.
You always do.
The next day, he’ll act like nothing happened. He’ll grin at you over a mug of coffee, his hair still messy from sleep, and he’ll say something stupid, something that would’ve made you laugh once. And you’ll smile back, the same way you always do, because it’s easier than saying what you’re really thinking.
But deep down, you’ll know: this is how it always goes.
This is how it always ends.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
The house is too quiet.
Not the quiet that lulls you to sleep, the kind that hums with the soft rhythm of peace. No. This quiet is suffocating. It’s the kind of quiet that makes you feel like you’re the only person left in the world.
You’re lying in bed when you notice it. The sun is just starting to rise, the pale light slipping through the blinds and stretching across the room in thin, fractured lines. You’ve been awake for hours, your eyes fixed on the ceiling, the locket clutched tightly in your hand.
It takes you a moment to realize what’s different. The absence is subtle at first, just a nagging thought at the back of your mind that you can’t quite place. The blankets beside you are crumpled but empty, the faint imprint of his body still visible in the mattress.
You sit up slowly, the ache in your chest twisting tighter as your gaze darts around the room. His boots aren’t by the door. His jacket isn’t hanging on the chair.
Your stomach drops.
No. He wouldn’t. Not like this.
You stand quickly, the blood rushing to your head as you make your way to the living room. The floor creaks beneath your feet, the sound echoing in the stillness, and you feel your chest tighten with every step.
The living room is empty.
The couch is still rumpled from the night before, the faint smell of cigarettes lingering in the air. The ashtray on the coffee table is full, the edges of the glass stained yellow from use. But he’s not here.
You check the kitchen next, your hands shaking as you push open the door. The counters are cluttered with empty bottles and crumpled receipts, the remnants of another night that you’ve already lost track of. His mug is still on the table, the coffee inside gone cold, but there’s no sign of him.
The panic starts to set in now, creeping up your throat like a sickness. You check the bathroom, the hallway, the spare room that neither of you use, but it’s all the same.
Empty.
You make your way back to the bedroom, your chest heaving with shallow breaths, and grab your phone from the nightstand. Your fingers tremble as you unlock the screen, scrolling through your messages with a growing sense of dread.
Nothing.
No missed calls. No texts. No explanations.
You press the phone to your chest, your heart pounding so hard it feels like it might break through your ribs.
He always comes back.
You tell yourself this over and over, like a mantra. Like a prayer. He always comes back. No matter how far he goes, no matter how bad the fight, he always comes back.
But deep down, you know this time is different.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
You find the letter hours later, tucked underneath the ashtray on the coffee table.
It’s written on the back of an old receipt, the ink smudged in places where he’d pressed too hard. The handwriting is rushed, uneven, but you’d recognize it anywhere.
“Sorry.”
That’s all it says.
Just one word, scrawled across the paper in shaky, uneven letters. No explanation. No apology. No promise to come back.
You read it over and over again, your fingers gripping the edge of the receipt so tightly that it crumples under your touch. The word blurs as the tears spill down your cheeks, hot and relentless, but you don’t stop reading it.
It’s the only thing he left behind.
The house feels bigger now, emptier. You wander through the rooms like a ghost, your feet dragging against the floor, your hands brushing against the walls as though you’re trying to anchor yourself to something.
His things are gone. Not everything—just the essentials. His jacket, his boots, the backpack he keeps in the closet. The rest is still here, scattered across the house like he’s planning to come back for it.
But you know he won’t.
You sit on the edge of the bed, the letter still clutched in your hand, and stare at the locket around your neck. The rose etched into its surface feels sharper today, the edges digging into your palm like a warning.
You think about the last time he smiled at you—the kind of smile that made your chest ache, that made you forget, just for a moment, how much he hurt you. You think about the way his hands felt on your skin, the way his voice sounded when he said your name, the way he used to make you feel like you were the only thing in the world that mattered.
But that man is gone. Or maybe he was never real to begin with.
You don’t cry at first.
The tears come later, in the middle of the night, when the weight of the silence becomes too much to bear. You lie on the floor of the living room, the receipt still clutched in your hand, and sob into the empty space where he used to be.
The locket feels heavy against your chest, the chain pulling tight against the back of your neck as you curl into yourself.
You think about calling him. About texting him. About driving to every shitty bar and trap house in the city just to find him. But you don’t.
Because deep down, you know it won’t change anything.
He’s gone.
And he’s not coming back this time.
#choi su bong x reader#tw dark fic#tw dark themes#dark!choi su bong x reader#dark!player 230 x reader#dark!squid game x reader#dark!thanos x reader#squid game smut#thanos smut#yandere choi su bong#yandere thanos#thanos x reader#yandere player 230#player 230 x reader#player 230#su bong x reader#yandere squid game x reader#yandere squid game#squid game#dark!fic#tw noncon#dead dove do not eat#dead dove fic#angst#smut#squid game x reader#yandere#choi su bong
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WELCOME!
it feels like forever since i've actually written a fic, which is wild because i used to write one everyday... but its been three years, and I might be cooked at this, so bare with me on my journey back.
REQUESTS:
Okay, so requests are always open because I simply need ideas, so please, feel free to always request. I might not get to your request right away, but I will try. If your request makes me uncomfortable, I probably wont write for it.
So, please dont request any incest of any kind, any like real abuse (mentions like flashbacks are okay as i love angst), suicide unless again mentioned in a flashback of some sort.
WHAT I WRITE AND WHAT I WRITE FOR:
Honestly, anything. I can write smut, angst, fluff, you name it!
However, for who I'm willing to write about, currently only Nam-Gyu or Thanos because I'm on my grind.
Yes, I do ship Thagyu and will also take requests for them <33
#smut#fluff#angst#squid game#squid game season 2#squid game s2#thanos#choi su bong#namgyu#nam gyu squid game#thagyu#gay#mlm#ruasboy <3
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Barely Surviving
Pairing: Thanos (Choi Su-Bong) x Reader
Summary: An unexpected connection in the games challenges your will to keep going.
Warnings: Usual Squid Game stuff, drugs, depression, suicidal thoughts. Thanos is definitely ooc in some places
Word Count: 2,331
Comments: I hope you like this! 💕 I haven't written in a while but watching Squid Game I knew I had to do something for Thanos. I already have a rough idea for a part 2...
The past few days had been the worst of your life. You were told that you’d just be playing a few games with a chance to win some money to pay off your debt. No one mentioned that your life, and so many others’, would be on the line. How someone could subject others to this was beyond you.
After the second game you’d retreated back to the dormitories with the group you’d managed to survive with. Despite banding together you still felt hopelessly alone, wanting nothing more than to go home and forget any of this had happened.
But how could you forget? How could you forget all the people you’d seen die? How could you forget the feeling of warm blood splattering across your face? How could you ever forget this feeling of guilt? Guilt that you were still standing whilst so many others had fallen.
You sat at the back of your bunk, knees drawn up, whilst your hands trembled in front of you.
Your eyes scanned the room, taking in the other players, some sat in groups, some picking at the remnants of the food handed out moments ago, and then your eyes landed on him.
Player 230, Choi Su-Bong or Thanos as he had introduced himself. His bright purple hair wasn’t the only thing making him stand out. He was leaning casually, his expression detached and seemingly completely unfazed. As if he wasn’t affected by the terror surrounding him.
You hesitated for a moment, your fingers clenched and unclenched as you tried to gather some courage. Maybe you should just stay on your bunk, try and let this wave of hopelessness pass on its own. But no matter how much you told yourself, the deep ache in your chest refused to subside.
Finally, you managed to push yourself to your feet, making your way across the room. Your footsteps felt too loud, echoing around you as you walked. A few players briefly glanced at you before turning away, uninterested in what you were doing. You heard the small voice in the back of your head, telling you to turn around, but you kept going, driven by a desperation to feel nothing.
As you approached you watched as player 124, who was sitting on the floor near Thanos, nudged his leg, nodding his head towards you. Thanos instantly perked up, a cocky smirk taking over his face.
‘Hey girl,’ he cooed as you got close. ‘Did you wanna come join the Thanos world?’ He crossed his arms over his chest as he deliberately looked you up and down
Your stomach twisted, hearing player 124 snicker at what had been said. You pushed forward regardless. ‘I was just hoping… I know you have… Could I…’ You tried and failed multiple times to get the words out, your cheeks burned hotter at each failed attempt. You felt so foolish, so small, and Thanos’ response didn’t help with your nerves.
‘Aw look, the pretty girl is nervous to talk to me,’ he said with a mocking pout. ‘Don’t be señorita,’ he stepped forward, bending down to your eye level whilst invading your personal space. ‘I don’t bite,’ he added with another smirk.
Your hands trembled more, you shoved them into your pockets to try and still them. Of course this had been a bad idea, but you desperately wanted to stop this feeling, the seemingly bottomless pit inside you threatening to swallow you whole. You knew Thanos had what you needed.
‘I know you have something in your necklace,’ you murmured, voice barely audible. You kept your gaze fixed on the floor, avoiding his eyes. ‘I…I just want to stop feeling like this.’
He sighed and straightened himself, ‘you know I have something huh?’ He shook his head before carrying on, ‘I don’t think you know what you’re talking about.’ He shooed you away dismissively with his hand as he said ‘go on, go back to your side.’
Panic rose in you, quick and suffocating. No. You couldn’t take no for an answer. You couldn’t take it anymore. Every waking moment was a nightmare, and even in sleep, the images of people being shot haunted you. Your breath quickened, you’d managed to get the courage to come over here, you couldn’t let yourself go back still feeling like this.
Your knees were ready to buckle but you managed to stand straighter. ‘Please,’ you whispered as you finally looked into his eyes. You tried to convey everything in that one word, every ounce of fear and despair you were feeling as you repeated it again. ‘Please.’
His gaze pinned you in place, and for just a second you thought you saw his expression falter, maybe a flicker of pity. For that brief moment you thought he might actually listen, that he might offer you what you were asking for.
But as quickly as it had appeared, it was gone. He looked you up and down once more, his tone flat as he said, ‘you don’t want what I have.’ You opened your mouth to argue but he held his finger up to your lips. ‘Save your breath, the answers no. Go back over there.’
The finality in his tone hit you like a slap. Your chest tightened as you watched him turn his back to you. A lump in your throat appeared and you fought back the tears threatening to spill. You quickly lowered your head, hiding your face from the room as you scurried back to your bed.
Thanos, settled into the spot beside Nam-Gyu, he let his gaze linger briefly on your retreating figure. You looked so hopeless, curling into yourself on your bed. His smirk faded slightly and the edges of his eyes softened.
Was it guilt he felt? He wasn’t sure. Maybe it was the uncomfortable weight of knowing you’d looked to him for help in such a way. For a moment he’d almost given in, but he knew what he had wasn’t the answer for someone like you. Still, he couldn’t shake the memory of the way you’d whispered to him, it clung to him heavily as he forced himself to pay attention to whatever the people around him were saying.
By some miracle you had survived through most of the third game, aided by the chaos of other people scrambling to reach the correct numbers before sprinting towards the doors surrounding the room. You hadn’t earned your survival this time, it had been handed to you by those more ruthless.
You dragged yourself back to the centre platform, the others that had used you to make up the required amount already abandoning you.The smell of blood hung thick in the air, making your stomach turn. How many more rounds would this drag on for? How many more bodies would be carted off in boxes before this finished?
You glanced down at your shoes, once bright white, now smeared in others' blood. The platform beneath you began to turn again, but the spinning in your head was worse. You knew you should have been paying attention to what number was going to be called, but what was the point? You’d only been a spare this entire game, why bother to start looking for people now?
‘TWO,’ the number was called and people immediately began shouting and dragging each other off. Time slowed down for you as you stood frozen to the spot. You had no one. There wasn’t a single person around you that didn’t already have a partner. Today would be the day, you thought. Tears welled in your eyes, though you weren’t sure if you were sad or relieved that this hell would be over for you.
Then, out of nowhere, a strong arm wrapped around your waist and yanked you forward. You stumbled, heart pounding in your ears, as you attempted to keep up with whoever had grabbed you. You could barely register what was happening, but then you saw the flash of his purple hair.
Thanos?!
There was no time to question why he’d chosen you, he had you, and the two of you were nearing one of the rooms. As you approached, another player lunged for you, trying to shove you out of the way and take your place. Thanos didn’t hesitate, he kicked the stranger hard, sending them flying to the ground. His grip on you tightened as he practically shoved you through the door with only seconds to spare.
The door locked behind you, you’d made it. Relief washed over you, but it was fleeting, overshadowed but the sound of gunshots and screams outside. Your legs faltered and you collapsed against the far wall. Thanos remained by the door, his body blocking the view as he watched the aftermath through the small window.
You should thank him, you knew you should. He’d saved you, pulling you from the edge of defeat. But the words wouldn’t come, all you could do was sink to the floor, and wrap your arms around your knees. You’d both made it to the end of the third game. You were alive. So why did you still feel nothing?
Thanos slid down the wall beside you, he rested his arms on his knees and kept his gaze ahead. ‘How come you froze up out there? Don't you have anyone here?’
You thought for a moment, debating telling him at this point you’ve accepted your fate so why prolong it. You tapped your fingers on your knees anxiously as you searched for an answer that didn’t let him know how badly you’d given up. ‘I didn’t want to be a burden,’ you muttered. ‘I just..I thought I would wait.’
He let out a short laugh, ‘good thing I waited too then, huh? Without me you’d be out there in one of those boxes.’ He nudged your shoulder lightly, as if he was joking with you but there was no humour in this situation.
You didn’t respond, your eyes caught sight of him idly playing with the cross that hung around his neck, the chain snaking around his fingers. When he tilted his head towards you, his eyes met yours and you saw the dilation in his pupils, evidence of whatever high he’d been on to get through this.
For a moment, he seemed to study you, though his expression was unreadable. The intensity of his gaze made you feel as though he was trying to read your mind. ‘I wasn’t gonna leave you out there,’ he said finally, his voice calmer. ‘Couldn’t watch you just give up like that.’
You blinked at him and before you could stop yourself you were asking, ‘why do you care?’
He shrugged, briefly glancing away before meeting your eyes again. ‘Honestly? I don’t know,’ he admitted. ‘Maybe I feel like you need protecting, and maybe I thought I could be the one to do that.’
You chuckled at that, though there was no humour in your laughter. ‘Do I really look that pathetic?’
He seemed taken aback. 'Someone had to step in,’ he replied bluntly. ‘You were just gonna let yourself lose.’
‘Maybe I wanted to lose.’ You snapped. ‘You don’t owe me anything so don’t bother protecting me. I’m not worth it.’
He took a moment to really look at you, leaning in slightly with an uncharacteristically serious tone he asked, ‘is that really what you think?’
Your breath hitched. The tears you’d been holding back finally spilled over and you buried your face into your hands. ‘I just… I can’t take this anymore.’ you choked out. ‘This place, it’s not worth the money. I don’t care anymore, I just don’t want to be here.’
The weight of your despair hung heavily around you, your shoulders shook as you continued to sob. The emotions you’d managed to keep at bay flooding out all at once. Thanos remained silent for a moment, before lightly resting his hand on your shoulder.
‘Listen,’ his tone was softer than you thought possible. ‘This place screws with you, you already know what I’ve been doing to get through.’ He tapped his necklace briefly. ‘But there’s life after this place, so you’ve gotta keep trying, until your last breath.’
You moved your face away from your hands to once again look up at him. He exhaled slowly as he looked at your tear stained face. He carefully took your face in his hands and wiped away the tears.
The tenderness in his touch was almost overwhelming, a sharp contrast to how you expected him to be. For a brief moment you allowed yourself to indulge in his touch. Through all of his flaws Thanos was showing you a different side, something real. The way he had moved revealed the blue O badge attached to his jacket. You briefly glanced at it.
‘Urgh fine,’ he said with a dramatic sigh, catching your look at the badge. ‘If I vote to leave this time will you stop crying.’ His head flopped to the side as he threw on a fake pout.
You couldn’t stop the weak laugh that escaped you at his theatrics. His small attempt to lighten your mood worked, if only a little. You nodded ‘yeah, I’ll stop crying.’
‘Good, pretty girls shouldn’t cry like that.’ He smirked.
The sound of the door unlocking suddenly caught both of your attention, bringing you back to the present. He stood, holding his hand out to you which you gladly accepted. His grip was steady, grounding, and for the first time since entering this hell you didn’t feel completely alone.
‘Come on,’ he said, pulling you to your feet. ‘Let’s get you outta here señorita.’
As you both walked towards the door the weight of everything you’d been through still lingered but something had shifted. You started to let yourself believe that you could keep going, maybe you weren’t completely broken after all. And the strangest part? It was Thanos who had given that to you.
-> Part Two
#angst to somewhat fluff#thanos x reader#choi su bong x reader#squid game x reader#squid game fanfic#thanos#choi su bong#player 230#squid game
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