#I’m asking you to change your phrasing because it hurts

[teaboot]

Things you can do as a security guard instead of acting like a dickhead: a vent post disguised as advice

Offer alternatives: IE, “Sorry, nobody’s allowed to hang out over there, but we have seats over here you’re welcome to use”. I recommend getting familiar with local parks, public seating, free food programs, outreach, mobile aid, etc., just in case those are needed.

Be polite: IE, “Excuse me, sir”, “I beg your pardon, miss”. This should go without saying but everyone deserves dignity.

Avoid phrasing requests as orders: IE, “Don’t stand in front of that” VS “Excuse me, could you move a bit to the side?”. This works best with an explanation, like, “There’s a sign behind you”, or, “you might get clipped by someone”. This helps communicate that you are asking for a reason, not just throwing your weight around. If you don’t have a reason, rethink whether or not you need to be doing anything.

Avoid directing blame or fault. Don’t say, “The owner says you gotta go” when you could say, “I’m not supposed to let people be here for X period” or “do X thing”. Again, try to have alternatives ready so people can use other resources or do something else instead of just abruptly changing plans.

Come from a place of compassion whenever you can. People are gonna tell you to get rid of the crazy screaming guy. They say that because they’re frightened and don’t know what to do. Your best approach is, “Hello sir”, followed by, “How are you today?”, “how’s it going?”, “are you doing alright?”, etc., depending on what the person is ACTUALLY doing / saying when you get there. You can offer help from there if needed, or leave them alone if they’re not in danger or a risk to anyone.

Remember you’re not a cop. This can mean whatever you need it to mean. For me personally, that means that with incredibly rare exception (like trying to sell to kids, contaminating other’s food or drink) I won’t report you for drugs. If I find you doing drugs on my site I’ll tell you a different place where you can do them instead and ask you to do them there. I have interrupted drug deals to ask the client and the salesman to both kindly move 15 feet to the left, I’m not kidding, I do not care.

Know who you can throw under the bus. Sometimes you gotta enforce rules and be the bad guy and if that’s the fault of some dipshit in a suit 200 miles away, you can say that. Sorry man, I can’t let you park your car on the lawn. I know you’re not hurting anyone and frankly I think lawn culture is stupid but there’s other parking stalls and if my boss sees you I’ll get a write-up for not doing my job. Shit sucks sometimes but if it wasn’t me telling you it’d be the new guy, and between you and me he’s an idiot and he’ll probably just report you to bylaw.

Don’t just act like you’re their friend, genuinely try to be a good friend. If you know that someone is doing something that will only result in a bystander phoning police, don’t let them go down like that. Let them know, “hey man, you seem like you’re having a shit time and I get it, I’ll do what I can, but we gotta have this conversation somewhere else ‘cause we’re freaking out the old ladies.”

Swallow your tongue. You can’t fix the world. People are gonna bitch at you about communists and 5G and gangster rap ruining the neighbourhood, that’s just part of the deal. Nod along, remain neutral, shut down any hate speech, redirect if you can, and keep a limit in mind where you’ll have to shut things down.

Accept that sometimes there are no solutions. Yes, that angry guy who blasts music will be back tomorrow. That homeless woman who asks you to help her find her dog that she hasn’t had in 30 years will ask again, and yes, you’re still going to take a description and promise to keep an eye out. That kid who smokes crack behind the building has been clean for a few weeks and still stops by to say hi, and you hope he’ll get his life together and be happy, but he also might relapse and OD before he hits 25. Sometimes you just have to do the best you can, even if nothing is guaranteed.

Be kind to teenagers. Being a kid is hard, and everyone’s on their ass all the damn time for everything.

Remember that the vast majority of bad people aren’t bad, just unhappy. The guy who keeps showing up drunk and puking on the carpet is unhappy. The lady who bitches about the service every single time and keeps coming back anyway is unhappy. The guy who leaves trash everywhere is probably unhappy. If they were happy, maybe they’d do better, but they’re not, and that’s kinda sad. You don’t have to let them get away with their shit, but they probably aren’t actually a worthless human being either.

It doesn’t matter if 12 is true or not. You need to believe it or you will become a harsh and bitter person. Look for evidence that people are not terrible and invent it if you have to

Don’t let yourself become a bastard

[dustandthought]

Did Charles commit suicide?

What if he didn’t go north... What if he left for good? (A soul-crushing headcanon about Charles Smith)

What if Charles took his own life? Yes, yes, just like that — what if he left, not north, but FOR GOOD. I keep thinking about this more and more. Because so much about him screams — “I can’t do this anymore.”

Everyone says: he went to Canada. Oh sure, sure. But maybe it’s time to stop repeating that comforting bedtime story. Canada was mentioned once, barely, like a breath. But in another dialogue — he says he wants to go to INDOCHINA. Can you imagine? Indochina! Where is that, and where’s Canada, and where is he? He’s lost. He’s torn. He doesn’t know where to go. Because he feels at home NOWHERE. And all of this — it’s not a plan. It’s emptiness. It’s pain wrapped in scraps of fantasy.

And when he tells John: “What does your family need an old gunslinger for?” — that’s NOT A JOKE. That’s a scream. A plea. A wound masked as a smile. Because he’s the outsider among friends. He’s the extra. He’s just... there. But he’s not part of it. And he knows that. Feels it in his bones. In his heart.

He doesn’t even sleep in the house. Doesn’t sleep on the property. Wanders into the woods. Into the dark. Into solitude. Some would say — it’s just habit, right? He’s used to the wild. Used to isolation. Bullshit. It’s not habit. It’s escape. Because being close — hurts. Watching Abigail, watching John, watching their child — it’s like a blade across the soul. Their dream came true. And him? Who is he? He’s — no one. Once, he was an outcast among outcasts. Now he’s just... the only one left. Alone among the joyful.

And the doubts he voices to John — “Will this life be enough for you?” — that’s not about John. That’s about himself. He’s asking himself. He doesn’t believe happiness is possible for him. That he deserves it. That he’s even capable of feeling something other than this tight, choking loneliness.

And that talk about going north, starting a family, finding a woman... I DON’T BELIEVE IT. NOT A SINGLE WORD. It sounds like a script. A rehearsed line. A mask. A way to say something so they’ll stop asking. He has no plan. No place. No direction. He says it himself. “I don’t know where.”

Not Canada. Not Wapiti. He could’ve gone back there a hundred times. In eight years. But he didn’t. Because he never saw it as home. It was something lost, something nostalgic — not a place he was needed.

And just finding a woman? Really? This is Charles. A man who lets NO ONE in. He’s built like a fortress. In his mind. In his soul. In his silence. And if he lets someone in — it’s forever. And if he doesn’t — no one gets close. This isn’t about “settling down.” This is about finding a soul that moves him. And those are rare. Maybe one. Maybe none.

He says: “These last eight years, I’ve come to accept the things I can’t change.” Is that supposed to be hope? It’s not acceptance. It’s surrender. That’s not light at the end of the tunnel — it’s the tunnel closing in. It’s numbness. It’s emptiness.

And John, dear John… tells him: “You’re the strongest man I know.” I HATE THAT PHRASE. I HATE WHEN PEOPLE SAY IT ABOUT HIM. I HATE WHEN PEOPLE SAY IT ABOUT ME. It’s NOT strength. It’s survival. It’s when life beats you so hard, all you learn is not to fall. It’s not a choice. It’s endurance. He’s not strong. He’s exhausted. He’s shattered. He’s lonely, he’s silent, and he’s so, so tired.

Even if he met “the one” — would she love him? The real him? The broken one? The quiet one? The distant one? Or would she fall for the mask — for the “I’ve made peace with the past” lie? And if she never sees the real Charles — how could he ever be happy with her? He doesn’t do halfway. Not him.

Abigail and John are different. She knew his pain. All of it. His monsters. His sorrow. She accepted it. Who would accept Charles? Who even knows who he became?

And in that last ride... he says: “I’m heading north.” Turns down Sadie’s offer to work together. Says it’s time to move on. But what if he wasn’t moving forward. What if he was moving toward the end.

(Another powerful and unwavering argument for me: we all remember how Charles and John ride out to save Uncle in the epilogue — and how Charles, with a chilling steadiness, says that if the uncle’s wounds are too severe, the only mercy left would be to help him cross over. He speaks of killing — not driven by hatred, not poisoned by cruelty — but as a final act of love, a broken, desperate kindness to release a soul from agony. And I ask: was it only uncle’s suffering Charles wished to end? Or was he, too, reaching for a way to quiet his own howling grief? I believe he was. I believe he desperately was.)

What if that was his way of saying goodbye. Softly. Quietly. Not “farewell.” Just — gone. So they could keep living, believing he’s somewhere out there. Alive. Just... far. But in truth — he had already made peace. He had written his ending.

Not to the north. Not to Wapiti. Not to a woman. But to the place where nothing hurts anymore.

And if that’s what happened... if he really left...

...maybe, finally, he found peace.

[navybrat817]

Jawbreaker

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Female Reader Summary: Bucky put a mouthy rookie in his place. Word Count: Over 800 Warnings: Established relationship, mention of injury, misogyny, punching, slight feels (it's me), Bucky Barnes defending you (he's a warning, okay?). A/N: I'm dedicating this to @whisperlullaby , who got to read this in advance, because she deserves this man (along with the rest of you). ❤️Written on my phone, so any and all mistakes are my own. Please follow @navybrat817-sideblog for new fics and notifications. Comments, reblogs, feedback are loved and appreciated!

A small part of Bucky felt bad as he idly wiped his hand with a towel. A very small part.

He didn’t want people to fear him because of his past and he refused to let it define him. That meant that he tried his best to avoid violent tactics unless absolutely necessary.

But today, well, fuck that. The fucker had it coming.

Steve stood in front of him, his blue eyes narrowed as he waited for his best friend to acknowledge him.

Oh, Bucky expected some sort of reprimand, but he was sure Steve would change his tune in a minute or so.

“You gonna ask me what happened, punk, or glare at me until I talk?” He asked, tossing the towel away.

The blonde huffed out a laugh, but he didn’t look amused. “Why did you break that rookie’s jaw?”

Bucky tilted his head. “What’s the phrase? He fucked around and found out.”

You would’ve been proud of him for that reference.

Steve shook his head when Sam burst out laughing a few feet away. “Sam, please,” he begged, though his mouth twitched like he was trying not to smile. “What did the guy do?”

A bitter taste flooded Bucky’s mouth as anger coursed through his veins again. He inhaled as he thought of your sweet smile and soft touch before he exhaled, the storm inside of him calming.

“Buck, you gotta tell us something,” Steve urged, needing some sort of information to try and do some damage control.

The brunette straightened up to look his friend in the eyes, wanting him to see the fury beneath the cold mask. “He told my girl to throw an apron on and get back in the kitchen when she went to spar.”

You, one of the most capable agents Bucky had ever known.

You, who had shown nothing but kindness to everyone, even when they didn’t deserve it.

The person Bucky was lucky enough to call his other half. His better half.

And some asshole rookie had the gall to treat you as if you didn’t belong there with the rest of them.

Sam was no longer laughing. Steve’s jaw clenched in understanding.

Bucky swallowed, that fury threatening to surface again as he remembered the hurt that filled your eyes at the comment. “You know I’d support anything she wants to do, whether that’s working or staying at home. It doesn’t give some prick the right to make her feel bad for her decision.”

“You know I don’t like bullies, but breaking his jaw?” Steve questioned. The guy deserved it, but did the punishment actually fit the crime?

“When she walked away, he said to come back when she was ready to see what a real man could do for her,” he said, the words coming out like a snarl.

The way you tensed up, fear and disgust flickering on your face, he didn’t think. A switch inside of him went off and he swung.

The fucker was lucky that all he got was a broken jaw. He could’ve done so much worse.

And it wasn’t that you couldn’t defend yourself because you could, but you shouldn’t have to put up with garbage like that.

A cracking sound echoed in the room before he realized he crushed the armrest of his seat. “Fuck. I’ll pay for that,” he mumbled, kicking a bit of the broken piece with his boot. “Can you just tell me how much trouble I’m in so I can get back to my girl?”

He didn’t care if he they suspended or even fired him as long as he got back to you.

The room stayed silent before Sam mused, “Technically, what the rookie did counts as harassment.”

Steve nodded. “And I’m sure Nat can persuade him not to sue for the injury he received,” he added, pinching the bridge of his nose. “We’ll take care of it, Buck. Just. No more breaking jaws, okay?”

“When it comes to my girl, I make no promises,” Bucky smiled, his heart racing at the thought of you. “And maybe he’ll think twice before he opens his mouth again.”

“The damage you did, I don’t think he can open his mouth at all,” Sam mumbled.

Bucky’s phone went off before he could comment, his heart swelling as he read your text. He had to bite back a groan, too.

“Thank you again, Jawbreaker. I love you and I’ll be on my knees waiting for you.”

You wanted to thank him not just with words, but with your body and heart. It all belonged to him, like he belonged to you.

And he didn’t need to tell Steve and Sam what the message said since it was just for the two of you. “Love you, too, baby. Nothing to thank me for, but I’m on my way. Be ready.”

“Yes, Sir.”

Maybe we'll see how you "thank" Bucky down the road. Love and thanks for reading! ❤️

Masterlist ⚓ Bucky Barnes Masterlist ⚓ Ko-Fi

[rmview]

when you’re just too cute, ATEEZ.

featuring — ateez members x gn!reader ( masterlist )

summary — headcanons of what the ateez boys are like when you’re just too darn cute for words!

contents — fluff, cute aggression, no warnings.

hong ♥ joong

⟶ tries to play it cool but ends up stuttering whenever you do something adorable. ⟶ covers his face with his hands to hide his smile and mutters, “stop, you’re too much.” ⟶ pulls out his phone to record you, pretending it’s for memories but secretly watches the videos later. ⟶ uses your cuteness as inspiration for lyrics, often scribbling down phrases like, “you make my heart skip a beat.” ⟶ calls you “too dangerous” jokingly because your cuteness distracts him from work. ⟶ tries to tease you to balance the power dynamic but ends up melting when you pout. ⟶ gifts you oversized clothes because he thinks you’d look even cuter in them. ⟶ regularly mutters under his breath, “how can someone be this cute?” ⟶ always gives in when you ask for something in a sweet voice or with puppy eyes. ⟶ quietly brags about you to the other members, but acts nonchalant when they tease him about it.

seong ♥ hwa

⟶ softly pinches your cheeks and coos, “how are you so cute?” ⟶ tries to remain composed but ends up giggling whenever you do something adorable. ⟶ constantly offers to carry things for you, saying, “cute people shouldn’t have to lift a finger.” ⟶ gently fixes your hair or clothing while smiling fondly at you. ⟶ buys you cute accessories or plushies that remind him of you. ⟶ holds your hand more often, just so he can admire how small and delicate it is in his. ⟶ whenever you’re being too cute, he jokingly says, “i can’t handle this,” and pretends to walk away. ⟶ talks about your cuteness as if it’s a world-changing phenomenon. ⟶ tries to teach you his “cool” expressions but melts when you fail adorably. ⟶ protectively hovers around you in public, thinking everyone else must also find you too cute.

yun ♥ ho

⟶ laughs so hard at your cuteness that he has to sit down to recover. ⟶ constantly pokes your cheeks or playfully taps your nose, saying, “boop!” ⟶ teases you about how adorable you are but gets flustered when you call him cute in return. ⟶ loves it when you match his playful energy, especially with silly poses or expressions. ⟶ challenges you to aegyo battles but declares you the winner every time. ⟶ takes a million photos of you doing cute things, claiming he needs “evidence.” ⟶ randomly hugs you tightly and says, “you’re too cute. i’m keeping you.” ⟶ tries to keep a straight face but bursts into laughter when you catch him staring. ⟶ complains jokingly, “you’re going to give me a heart attack with that cuteness.” ⟶ encourages your cute behavior, saying, “don’t ever change. it’s perfect.”

yeo ♥ sang

⟶ quietly stares at you with a small smile, occasionally muttering, “so cute.” ⟶ pretends to be unbothered but blushes furiously when you catch him staring. ⟶ gently pokes your cheeks and murmurs, “i don’t think this is fair.” ⟶ buys you matching items, like plushies or keychains, because he loves seeing you happy. ⟶ when you’re being especially cute, he hides his face in his hands, saying, “you’re killing me.” ⟶ tries to tease you, but his soft voice gives away how much he’s enjoying it. ⟶ loves watching you get excited over little things and secretly takes pictures of those moments. ⟶ often uses your cuteness as a reason to spoil you. “how could i ever say no to that face?” ⟶ gives you his hoodie, just to see how adorable you look drowning in it. ⟶ sometimes tells the members, “they’re too cute. what do i do?”

san ♥

⟶ dramatically clutches his chest and exclaims, “i’m not strong enough for this!” ⟶ squeezes you in tight hugs and says, “you’re like a teddy bear. so squishy!” ⟶ constantly tells you how adorable you are, no matter what you’re doing. ⟶ pinches your cheeks gently while giggling, “so cute, it hurts.” ⟶ acts jealous if you’re being cute with the other members, saying, “that’s my cuteness!” ⟶ shows you off to everyone, bragging about how “the cutest person in the world” is his. ⟶ whines playfully when you’re cute during serious moments. “how am I supposed to focus now?” ⟶ randomly bursts into song about how cute you are, complete with dramatic gestures. ⟶ insists on taking selfies with you every time you do something adorable. ⟶ calls you his “weakness” and dramatically pretends to faint when you do aegyo.

min ♥ gi

⟶ laughs and squeezes you to his chest uncontrollably whenever you do something cute, sometimes until tears form. ⟶ ruffles your hair constantly, calling you his “little fluff.” ⟶ teases you about how small you are compared to him but secretly adores it. ⟶ tries to mimic your cute expressions but ends up making you laugh instead. ⟶ randomly picks you up and spins you around, saying, “i can’t help it — you’re too cute!” ⟶ constantly compliments you, saying, “you’re like a real-life cartoon character.” ⟶ pretends your cuteness “annoys” him but can’t stop smiling. ⟶ buys you snacks or small gifts just to keep seeing your excited reactions. ⟶ gushes about you to his members, saying, “they’re so cute, i don’t know what to do!” ⟶ like yeosang, always gives in to your requests because, as he says, “how can i say no to that face?”

woo ♥ young

⟶ playfully scolds you for being “too cute,” saying, “this is illegal!” ⟶ mimics your cute behavior but makes it extra dramatic for laughs. ⟶ pretends to faint or clutch his heart every time you do something adorable. ⟶ constantly calls you pet names like “cutie pie” or “baby.” ⟶ shows off your cuteness to everyone, saying, “look at them! aren’t they the cutest?” ⟶ takes countless candid pictures of you and saves them in a special album. ⟶ whines jokingly when you’re cute, saying, “you’re going to ruin me!” ⟶ pulls you into playful dances just to see you smile and giggle. ⟶ teases you, “you’re lucky i love you, or i’d be jealous of how cute you are.” ⟶ admits in quieter moments, “i never thought someone could make me this soft.”

jong ♥ ho

⟶ tries to act unaffected but ends up smiling every time you’re cute. ⟶ gently pokes your cheek and says, “you’re not supposed to be this cute, you know.” ⟶ loves teasing you about your cuteness but secretly thinks it’s the best thing about you. ⟶ randomly sings for you when he’s overwhelmed by your adorableness. ⟶ pretends to be “tough,” saying, “cute things don’t work on me,” but folds instantly. ⟶ often shakes his head in disbelief and says, “what am i going to do with you?” ⟶ buys you little treats or gifts, claiming, “i couldn’t resist because it’s cute like you.” ⟶ protectively hovers around you, saying, “you’re too cute to handle the world alone.” ⟶ laughs when you try to be serious because look adorable while doing it. ⟶ although always admits, “i don’t think i’ll ever get used to how cute you are.”

notes: i’m actually against doing the same trope for multiple groups, but if this is something you guys like then i might do it for my other groups too!

[marvelwitchergilmore]

There For You

Summary: Joaquin Torres x fe!Reader -> All your life you've told people you're 'fine'. So what happens when Joaquin sees through the mask?

Disclaimer: A lot of angst with a splash of fluff here and there. Dealing with feelings of guilt and high walls, Joaquin shows up for the reader, homemade meals, hurt/comfort fluff, Joaquin sees reader, happy ending.

I’m fine. 

That was a sentence you were used to saying. If there was a book published after everyone had died, listing the amount of times you’d said a word or a phrase; I’m fine would be a top contender. 

“How are you?”

“I’m fine. How are you?”

“Well…”

“Are you sure you’re okay?”

“I’m fine, I promise,” you laugh.ed. “Honestly, it’s okay.”

“How’s your day been?” 

“It’s been-”

“Well, I’m just about to…”

Fine was something you’d always been. Mostly because you had to be. You couldn’t really remember when it all started, just that it did. And now it couldn’t change. You’d tried once, not being fine. It didn’t go so well. 

“How’ve you been?”

Silence. “Actually, I don’t think I’ve been good. Yeah, it’s kinda been-”

“Can I ask your advice on something real quick? It-It’ll only take like a second.”

That second took three days. And it was still a conversation talked about months later. 

So, after that, you put the smile back on. You’d tried to sit up, only to slouch again a few seconds later, and you plastered on your smile. If anyone asked, you were fine. At the very least, you were a variation. Okay. Good. Well. 

And them? They needed your help. Or advice. Or needed you to just listen. You needed to take in their information so they could get it off their chest and you were to keep your own to yourself. Once they’d actually asked you to. 

“How was work?” They asked you as you sat down, your entire body ready to just cry itself to sleep. 

“Not great.” 

They shook their head and sat back. “Oh, no. Actually.” They’d heard the tone in your voice. The last time they heard that tone, it hadn’t been something great. “Can you not tell me? It’s just, I don’t like hearing about that kinda stuff.” They meant you work. So, pulling your feelings back in, you turned your head away and looked back towards the window. “But, I have a new update. So…”

Again, you’d plastered on a smile. You didn’t have the energy for the argument that would come if you shook your head and said no. You also didn’t want to be alone at that moment. So, if sitting through a variation of the same conversation you’d heard more than a thousand times was what you had to go through to avoid an argument where inevitably you’d apologise, then you’d sit through it. 

Some days it felt like if someone asked more than once…maybe even pushed you for the truth, you’d collapse right there. You’d cry and tell them everything. And feel completely guilty about it afterwards. People didn’t need your troubles burdening them. People needed you. As a friend, as a shoulder to cry on, as an advice service, as a soundboard. They needed you. 

Even when your voice notes went unheard, when your texts were skimmed over and left behind in favour of someone else's conversation. It was in the small hours of the night the guilt would creep up on you. What if they’d been dying to get it off their chest all day and you’d just interrupted them. Maybe they’d skipped over it, but it still interrupted them. They’d already said they didn’t want to know. 

They didn’t need to know. 

Because you were fine. 

So, you got up. You answered the text messages, you listened to the voice notes, you found time in your busy schedule to go to lunch or grab a drink with them. And each time, you’d come back home, your words still with you. 

“Alone again,” you sighed as you sank into your sofa. “Alone again.”

Sometimes, you were glad to be alone. It meant the weight on your chest was a little less full of guilt. That you’d still wanted to tell them things when you knew they didn’t really want to listen. That, deep down, you just wanted to leave and let them keep talking. It was a lot to take on sometimes. Thankfully, some days, you didn’t really notice the weight. Not until weeks later when it would crash back over you. 

In your own way, you’d screamed for help before. You’d been drowning. But nobody had heard you. They’d pointed out that you weren’t you and that you needed to apologise. So you had done. If more than one person was saying it, it meant it had to be true, right? 

It took a while, but you’d succeeded. You’d finally become the person they wanted again. Inside, most days, it was like being held together by glue and duct tape. You kept the mask up, for as long as you could, to give you time to replace it with stronger stuff; wood, nails, bricks, metal. If they didn’t see you still fixing it, they wouldn’t make such a big deal about it. They wouldn’t blame you for being the person you’d become who wasn’t you. 

And eventually, they wouldn’t be able to tell the difference between the wood and metal and the mask you’d been wearing. 

Everything would be normal for them. And you’d be able to still keep everything in, without the walls bending and breaking like cardboard. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“Morning, Y/n.”

You looked up and smiled from your desk. “Morning, Cap.”

“Hey, Y/n.” Joaquin followed Sam. 

“Morning. You guys okay?”

They both nodded. “Hill just gave us our debrief. Told us to come and find you.”

You nodded. “Yes.” From your desk, you pulled out two files and handed them over. “The mission is on a little island, just south of the European continent. We’ve had confirmation of sightings of ex-hydra agents in local areas.” 

You pushed the diagram from your tablet onto the projector screen. “They have been here, here and here.” The spots formed a triangle on a nearby coast. “We also know one is confirmed to have once been affiliated with the flag-smashers.”

You gave them both the rest of the debrief. “Barton will be flying you out tomorrow morning.”

“Tomorrow morning? Why tomorrow?”

“Because our sources tell us their secret shipment isn’t going to arrive until then and if we don’t catch them with it, then there is a chance our case may not hold well enough. Hill doesn’t want to take the risk of it falling through.”

After thirty minutes, they both had everything they needed to know. 

“Get your rest now, Torres. We’re gonna need it for tomorrow.”

“Aye, aye, Cap. Where you headed?”

Sam turned around as he walked out of the door. “Got a date.”

You leaned over the desk. “Bucky and your sister have a date!”

“Same thing!”

“Sam! Leave them alone!”

“Hey, they brought this on themselves. I’m just making sure nothing…untoward is gonna happen.”

You sighed. “Bucky is over a hundred years old. His flirting skills remain in the 40s.”

“It’s not him I’m worried about.”

As Sam left leaving both you and Joaquin with laughing smiles on your faces, Torres turned around to you. 

“You got much on tonight?”

You shrugged. “Not a lot. Why?”

“Wanted to see if you’d like to come with me later.”

“Do you need my help?” 

Even for Joaquin, that question fell off your lips far too quickly. 

He shook his head. “No. Just me and the others were gonna catch a film and some dinner. Wanted to see if you’d like to come?”

“Oh…” The all too familiar guilt crushed your lungs. They didn’t need your help. “No, no. It’s okay. You guys have fun, though.”

“Are you sure?”

You nodded, your smile feeling a little forced even for you. “Yes. Of course. You…go and have fun.”

“Okay. But the invitation is still there so if you change your mind…”

You nodded. “Thanks.”

Joaquin didn’t know what it was, but something made him stay right where he was. He could have left. Gone home, napped, got ready to go out. But something made him stay. 

“Are you doing okay?”

“I’m fine. Why?”

He shrugged a little. “It’s nothing. Just…have you been sleeping?”

“Have I…” His question took you by surprise. “Y..yes. I’m sleeping.”

“Properly? Like…eight hours, REM sleep, all that jazz?”

You tilted your head a little, looking at him as if he had just grown a second head. “Not…not all the time, but that’s mostly down to my neighbours. Is there something you want to tell me? Are you okay?”

Joaquin nodded. “Yeah, I’m good. But you’re sure you’re okay?”

You nodded. “I’m okay.”

“Okay. Alright then.”

“Alright.”

“See you later?”

You nodded. “Maybe.”

He didn’t see you later. But by the looks of it, he had a good time anyway. Kate’s instagram story showed you as much. But he did see you the day after. You were there, readying the jet and some of the equipment before him and Sam were about to jet off. 

“Keep your earpiece in-”

“At all times. I know.” Joaquin and Sam repeated after you. 

“I’ll be tracking you guys every step of the way. If you need my help, just call out. I’ll be able to hear you. And remember, we need confirmation of the shipment before you start bringing people in.”

“Got it.”

“Good luck, guys.”

“Thanks, Y/n.”

Almost twenty four hours later, they were back along with confirmation of the shipments and a dozen people in custody. 

Thankfully, the paperwork after it kept you busy for a couple of weeks. For as much as you wanted to say yes each time you were asked to attend something, the paperwork gave you a real excuse so they didn’t think you were avoiding them. Because you would have loved to have said yes. But after years and years of only ever being needed, it was hard to grasp the concept of being wanted. Which part of you still didn’t believe. 

But, as the months and missions went on, things started to slip. Not by much but you could feel it. Yet, somehow, the mask managed to stay up. 

Unknown to you, however, Joaquin saw right through it. He saw through it all. The masks, the reassurance, the mystery. He knew you cared. A lot. People always knew they could go to you. They always did. Joaquin also knew Sam had tried to talk to you a few times. 

He’d seen something in you. Something that he saw in a lot of people he’d helped. But after his third attempt, he decided to let you come to him when you were ready. 

“You know, if you ever want to talk-”

You smiled, laying a hand on his upper arm as you passed him. “Sam. I promise you, I’m okay. If I ever need someone to talk to, I’ll come to you. But, seriously, you don’t have to worry about me. I’m okay. I promise.”

Joaquin, however, wasn’t as patient. Maybe with everyone else, he could be. But not with you. 

Not when he was visibly seeing the changes in you that you were somehow managing to hide from everyone. 

It had started with the first sleepless night you’d all seen for the first time in a while. A level seven threat just on the outskirts of the city. Almost everyone was called in to help. It had been a lot. You’d been put through a lot. 

Despite working mostly on the tech side of things, you were still a fully qualified field agent. 

When everything had finally died down and people could head home before the six o’clock news briefing later that day, you’d stayed awake. You’d combed through everything you could, you’d brought up every piece of CCTV footage, you’d gone through every statement you could in order to piece together a coherent explanation that wouldn’t scare the rest of the country into a coma. 

“Have you even gone home?” Joaquin asked you just as the clock turned to read 21:03. 

You swivelled in your chair, a little quieter than usual. “Not yet.”

“Come on, I’ll drive you home.” 

That was the first time you hadn’t fought someone who was trying to help you. Joaquin drove you home and when you got inside, your phone started ringing. And you just let it ring, and ring and ring. For a moment, your heart held out hope. Maybe your friend was calling in to check on you. But from the texts that followed…they weren’t. 

You’ll never guess what’s just happened…

Over the next six weeks, Joaquin saw the changes. They were subtle. He had to hand it to you. You were clever at hiding it. 

“From the amount of coffee you’d been drinking, you shouldn’t still be yawning.”

You chuckled. “Must be decaf.”

There was a drop in your expression from the happy smile it had held a few seconds earlier. Then it was quickly replaced with a defeated, yet somehow accepted, expression. Whoever you were texting, you were happy to help. But wishful of something else nonetheless. 

Then he saw it in the way he made you jump. Or how anyone made you jump. 

It was rare someone ever managed to scare you. You were observant. Saw things way before other people did. So when he walked up to your desk, with you facing him, and he saw you jump when you finally looked up, something else flicked inside of him. 

It was like each individual light switch was slowly turning on one by one each time he saw you. You were tired. It wasn’t decaf because he saw you pour directly from the pot of regular he’d just made. The hopeful then saddened expressions when looking at your phone. The distant look in your eyes. He didn’t know where you’d go, but sometimes you’d just completely disappear. The tired pull of your body into and out of work. The declined invitations. The reassurance that they wouldn’t want you there. The true acceptance of your own statement, no matter how many times he’d tell you it was wrong. The glassy look in your eyes when someone asked for a second time if you were okay. The even brighter glassy look in your eyes when your friend surprised you at work and ate lunch with you. 

She’d asked you how you were and you’d told her some things. It hadn’t been much. Just paperwork and research. She’d asked questions to know more, but before you could get to any kind of topic that didn’t come with a  generic answer, she’d moved on. Brushed it off and the brief thankful look in your eyes that you’d finally be able to tell someone something was gone. 

He’d watched you help others, talk to them, be their soundboard, look out for them, take their comments that even you had noticed had been a subtle dig at you. So, when the day came that you stepped away for a small break, Joaquin went in search of you. 

You were ten seconds away from crying for eight hours straight. You were exhausted. Anytime anyone said anything to you, nothing seemed to register. You could hear the voice in the back of your mind of people telling you that you needed to apologise. But that just frustrated you more because you didn’t know who to and for what. Just that you needed to. You’d been trying to sleep at night and you knew others could see it. You were just grateful that they accepted you had noisy neighbours. Only, in the three years that you had new neighbours, they’d never once woken you up. 

The image of the unplayed voice notes kept flashing through your head. But they needed you. They needed someone to vent to, or someone to get advice from, or someone to brag to. They didn’t like doing the same, but it was okay. It had to be okay. 

Some people could have full lives, but lonely existences? You had friends, you had family. There shouldn’t be any reason why you should feel like this. Maybe that’s what you had to apologise for? They knew you were grateful for their help when it was given. And, despite the times their promise you could always come to them felt empty, they knew you were grateful for their offer, right? 

A knock came to the single bathroom door. “Y/n? You okay in-”

“I’m fine. I’ll be out in a second,” you called out from inside. Your eyes shut tight and your fist was against your forehead. Quickly, you turned around and ran the tap, splashing your face a few times, trying to ignore the dizziness inside your head. 

“Hey, I was getting worried-”

Joaquin saw your legs buckle just before you caught yourself on the frame of the door. “S-Sorry. Lost my footing. I just needed a second to-”

From your grip on the door and the tremble in your legs, you were finding the energy to move forwards without completely falling over. Then he saw your face. The tired eyes, the wetness to your lashes, the tear stains at the bottom of your cheek. 

Then it was the shaking in your fingers as you lifted your hand for a moment but quickly replaced it. Your chest was moving at an uneven rate and finally, your hand slipped. 

“Whoa, hey, okay, okay. Come with me.”

With one arm around your back, Joaquin helped carry you over to a nearby chair before he crouched down in front of you. “Hey, look at me. How are you feeling?”

“I…I’ll be fine.”

Your eyes were still closed but Joaquin shook his head. “Okay, no. I’m taking you home.”

“Honestly-”

“No buts. I’m taking you home. When was the last time you got any decent sleep?”

You were trying to think of when but just as you did, you were finding it difficult to find the words. The voice in your head was too loud; you’re fine, you’ll get better, this shouldn’t be happening, get over yourself, people have it worse, others need your help, others need his help.

“I-I’m sorry. You shouldn’t have to worry about me. You-you should go. I’ll be fine. I promise. I’ll call a cab-”

“Don’t try and fight me on it. I’m going with you.”

If you had the breath or the energy to, you would have done. But you didn’t. So, two hours later you were freshly showered with your hair washed since the smell of anti-bac from the doctor Joaquin had called had been knocking you even more dizzy and nauseous. 

It had surprised you when you’d come out of your bathroom to find warm and fresh clothes laid out on your bed. A pair of shorts and a t-shirt – fresh from the dryer, despite you having picked them out of your dresser before you went for a shower. And a sweater. It wasn’t yours. But the familiar warm scent of it let you know it was Joaquin’s. 

Put it on to keep you warm

You did as the note said and by the time you pulled it over your head, another smell drifted through your home. Downstairs, you found Joaquin cooking. 

“You really don’t have to stay-”

“I’m staying. You’re run down and you need someone to look after you.”

“I’ll be okay. I’ve looked after myself before-”

“And now you don’t need to.”

“Joaquin.”

He just stopped and looked at you. “You do everything for everyone else. And in the last six weeks alone you’ve done that on minimal sleep. You need someone to take care of you, and I want to. You can keep fighting me on it, but I’m staying. And before you say anything – you do not need to apologise. Not to me, not to anyone else. People get sick and people let others take care of them, it’s just how it works.”

That had been the sixth time he’d told you you didn’t need to apologise. So, to avoid saying it again, you changed the subject. 

“What are you making?”

You came to find out Joaquin had ran down to the corner store whilst your clothes were warming in the dryer. He’d made you one of his family’s recipes. A full meal – one that his mother swore could cure everything. A bad tummy, a bad day, a broken heart. It was a cure to everything. 

“Thank you.”

Joaquin smiled and for the most part, you both ate in silence. But you could feel his eyes on you. Watching your movements, probably noticing the slight shakiness still in your hands. 

“I’m gonna stay the night.”

“You really don’t have to-”

“I want to know. See it with my own eyes that you’re sleeping.”

“You do realise how creepy that sounds right?”

He thought about it for a moment. “Yeah, that does kinda sound- you know what I mean. I want to know if you've actually had a decent night's sleep.”

“I’ve only got the one bed at the minute-”

“I can take a couch-”

“Or you could stay with me.”

A slightly awkward silence replaced the once slightly comfortable one. 

“Sorry. I…you probably…I should have- I’m sor-”

“Do you want me to stay with you?” The look on Joaquin’s face was nothing but complete softness. There was no harsh judgement in his eyes or his voice. There was no mockery or fakeness. It was nothing but just pure…

Care. 

And somewhere between the awkward silence and the caring gaze, your voice answered before your brain even had a chance to drag you back under the water and raise the mask. 

“Yes.”

“Okay.”

Okay. Such a tiny word with such a heavy meaning. 

Ninety minutes, a full meal that hadn’t been microwaved, a loaded dishwasher and two sitcom episodes later, you were brushing your teeth before finally getting into bed. 

Joaquin lay beside you. At first he’d offered to remain on the outside of the covers. But you didn’t want him to get cold. So, with a quiet smile, he’d pulled the other side of the covers back. Your phone had started blowing up with different text messages from different people but one in particular was more incessant than the rest. 

And once Joaquin knew the texts weren’t important – mostly from your reaction after you’d read them as they came up as notifications, he’d taken your phone from you and turned it off completely. 

It was the first time he’d seen you relax in ages. 

Not by much, but it was a start. Besides, if there was a real emergency, they’d call him, too. Not that he’d let you anywhere near work for the next few days at the very least. You needed a break. 

Finally, you got into bed and felt your body, despite how stiff it felt, relax into the mattress. 

“I don’t know if I can fall asleep.”

Joaquin didn’t say anything. All he did was move a little closer to you before taking your hand in his and resting two of your fingers against his wrist. 

“Count my pulse.”

“Does that work?”

Joaquin nodded. “Whenever I was on deployment and couldn’t sleep, this is what I would do.”

You took his word for it. And for the first time in almost six weeks, you fell asleep long before the clocks touched midnight. And somewhere in the night, your fingers had gone from holding his wrist, to his hand to suddenly being held completely by him. 

When you finally woke up in the morning, the day before was slow to come back to you. The panic, the dizziness, the sickness, Joaquin, the doctor, the sweater, the meal, and…the pulse. You felt warm. And when you finally opened your eyes, you found yourself tangled with the very man who had helped you. 

The very man who had stayed. 

And for a short moment, you closed your eyes and leaned into him again. And, almost as if he did it all the time, Joaquin’s arms held you closer before you felt his lips brush the top of your head. And you both stayed like that for a long time. You were certain you’d fallen asleep again. 

But Joaquin stayed. He didn’t try to move, he didn’t attempt to leave or wake you up. 

He stayed and held you. 

“How’d you sleep?”

“Better than I have done in a while.”

Lifting his hand, he carefully brushed the stray hairs from the front of your face to behind your ear. “Good.” Then he leaned down and pressed a kiss to the top of your forehead. “Good.”

After a few beats of silence, you spoke again. “I know you told me not to fight you on it-”

“Y/n.”

You held onto his arm as you looked up at him. “No, no. I’m not gonna…I just wanted to say thank you.”

Joaquin was quiet as he looked at you, studied you. “You’re welcome, but you never have to thank me for staying.”

“Not many people have. Not many people noticed I needed someone to stay.” The true answer was that before Joaquin, nobody had stayed. But that seemed too sad to say out loud. And you had a feeling he already knew the true answer. 

“I’m sorry.”

“It’s okay-” It was almost like the tears before the tears. That feeling of your chest catching onto itself and the rush of blood to your heart to try and keep it at a normal pace. 

Joaquin shook his head. “No, it’s not. You’ve done everything for everyone. They should have noticed. And I’m sorry for not noticing sooner.”

You just shook your head lightly, “It’s not your fault. I kept it hidden.”

“Why did you?”

You swallowed, looking down at his chest, your fingers tracing the letters on his t-shirt. “S’ easier, I guess. You get so used to being jumped over that eventually you stop being a hurdle.”

You could feel Joaquin’s hands on your back, his thumbs slowly tracing back and forth. 

“I have tried…before. I’ve tried talking to people, telling them about my day but then they’ve asked me to not tell them. Sometimes they’ll say they can’t handle it and that’s not their fault. So, I’ve kept it all to myself. And I know I can handle a lot. It’s not like other people’s problems are as big as what I’ve faced at work…it kinda just adds up. And I don’t know what to do after that.”

You took a breath, trying to steady yourself. 

“I know Sam’s asked me a few times to talk to him but I can’t seem to shake the guilt. He spends his entire time helping the world. You, too. I should be able to handle…all this. I know I’m only human but it just feels like…it feels like I’ve gotten this far. Why can’t I keep going?”

Joaquin was quiet when he spoke to you, his voice soft and without abruptness or judgement. 

“Because even the strongest humans need a break.” Joaquin pulled you a little closer to him. “You are extraordinary, and you’ve been there for everyone who has ever needed you. But you also need to take time for yourself. Your job is stressful enough without adding everyone else’s problems on top. And the fact that people have told not to talk…I am begging you, Y/n. Talk. Tell someone what’s going on. Talk to Sam, talk to me. I want to hear you. The good, the bad, the ugly, all of it.”

For the first time, not only were you hearing someone say those words, but you were also hearing them mean it. 

“Talk to me. Tell me what’s going on.”

Looking at him, you felt the tears come forward. And for the first time you didn’t fight them. Leaning up, you held onto Joaquin and he held you right back, tight to his chest. 

Joaquin felt the panic pass through you and eventually leave, he felt the tears falling onto his shirt and he just held you closer. You both knew you wouldn’t be ‘fixed’ at the end of the day, but that was something that helped. 

You’d felt yourself break once before and your family had noticed, but from their words and their hugs and their actions when you finally moved again, they expected you to be right back to normal. So you’d put the mask back on. 

But not now. 

You didn’t have to.

And for as scary as that was, it was also freeing. 

You and Joaquin talked some more after the tears had slowed and a silence had passed. And then he listened some more over breakfast. Eventually, he decided to stay a while longer. 

A week later, you finally got back into work. You had said you wanted to go back after three days but Joaquin had nearly tackled you back from the door. 

The first person you went to see was Sam. 

It was a long conversation but not a single ounce of it was judgemental. No words out of his mouth were telling you that you needed to apologise or that you needed to go back to ‘normal’. With a gentle hand on your back, he handed you a phone number of one of the veterans he used to help. They were now a licensed counsellor and therapist. 

“...and if you ever want to talk to someone who doesn’t know you, give ‘em a call. Sometimes it can be easier talking to a stranger.”

“Thank you, Sam.”

It was a process. Talking, dealing with the guilt, learning when to walk away. But it was helpful. Eventually your anxiety stopped spiking as high each time the phone rang, or it flashed with a notification. You didn’t feel like you needed to go someplace because someone needed you to. 

It was nice to feel wanted. 

“You okay?”

You looked up over the desk at Joaquin. Sam had left the room a few seconds ago, both of you shouting at him to leave Bucky and Sarah alone. He’d been caught stalking them at the grocery store the last time. But, like usual, he ignored you both. 

You smiled with a short nod. “Yeah. I’m okay.”

“You mean it?”

The true smile remained on your face. “Yeah, I mean it.”

In the last few months, you’d come to find you couldn’t hide anything from Joaquin. Even if you lied, he’d know the truth. And he’d stop at nothing until you’d finally tell him as much. 

But you weren’t lying. You were really okay. 

“Wanna join me after work?”

“Where are you headed?”

“The Park. They’re showing a movie tonight. Thought you might wanna come with me.”

“Is anyone else going?”

Joaquin paused. “Not exactly.”

You just looked at him confused. 

“Kate’s probably gonna already be there and some of the others but I’m asking because I thought we could go…together.”

“Together?”

Joaquin nodded. “Kinda like a date. Or not a date, if you don’t want it to be. But it could be. Again, if you don’t want-”

You smiled, a little amused at his nervousness. The Falcon – a Captain in the Air Force and one of Captain America’s closest allies – Joaquin Torres rarely ever seemed nervous. But you found it cute. 

“I don’t mind it being a date.”

He looked up, a little like a deer caught in headlights. “You don’t?”

You shook your head. “I don’t.”

“So, it’s a date?” Joaquin smiled. 

You nodded with a smile of your own. “It’s a date.”

“Great.” Joaquin was trying his best to not let his excitement jump out of his skin. “I will pick you up at six.”

“Okay.”

“Okay.”

Joaquin was walking out the door backwards, his eyes still on you. Which meant he crashed into the wall before looking behind him to step out of the door. You giggled a little, watching the embarrassment flood on his cheeks as he apologised to the wall before he disappeared down the hallway. 

And just as he had said, he knocked on your apartment door at six o’clock. You were just in casual clothes but he looked at you as if you were some kind of model. 

“You look beautiful.”

You felt yourself blush. “Thanks.”

“Ready to go?”

“Yep.”

Without a second thought, he took your hand in his as you headed down the hallway and into the elevator. And where it should have been awkward silence, it wasn’t. Because you talked. 

By the time you both got to the park, you were in a fit of laughter. You and Joaquin had found a spot just in front of a tree to lean against before you helped him flatten out the picnic blanket he’d brought with him. 

“My lady,” he presented you with the blanket fresh on the floor. 

“Why, thank you, kind Sir.”

And the movie played.

By the time the credits rolled, you were slowly falling asleep on his shoulder. And by the time you’d both made it back to your apartment, collapsing on the sofa, you’d both fallen asleep together watching an old re-run. 

Maybe people hadn’t stayed before. Maybe people hadn’t listened before. 

But Joaquin did. 

And would forever. 

[delicatebarness]

My first request! What if an ex Widow with dirty history with the Winter Soldier (wink, wink) comes face to face with modern day Bucky.

"You can't hurt me, Barnes. You don't have his eyes"

his eyes | bucky barnes

Summary: ^^ Request

Warning: 18+ Minors DNI | Explicit Smut | DubCon | Past Trauma | Flashback | Captivity Themes | Weaponization | The Winter Soldier and Widow!Reader

Word Count: 1191

A/N: So, I don't feel like this is where you wanted this request to go. However, this is where my mind went. I hope you like it!

Everything: @hallecarey1 | @pattiemac1 | @uhmellamoanna | @scraftsku35 | @ozwriterchick | @sapphirebarnes | @rach2602 | @thetorturedbuckydepartment | @lanabuckybarnes | @ruexj283

Present:

You hadn’t been here in a little over a decade, but your mind and body remembered the layout. Like muscle memory—you could move around here with your eyes closed. Once upon a time, you had. 

The warehouse smelled like dust and old sweat—it was the place where you sparred, bled, where you gave yourself to the Winter Soldier just to survive. 

A pair of heavy boots echoed on the concrete. It wasn’t a surprise when you felt his presence. You didn’t need to see him to know he was standing in the doorway. 

“You,” his voice was different. A little rough around the edges, but softer.

You turned around to face him, your arms crossed tight over your chest. “You took your time,” I said—dryly, guarded.

You shouldn’t have come here; you should have walked away. Fled the country the moment you heard his name—Bucky Barnes. That’s what they call him now, you were told. And although he’s wearing the name like a second skin, you could still see him underneath. You try not to, but he’s right there. The Soldier. 

Bucky stared at you like you were a ghost. A mission he failed to bury.

“You changed your hair.” 

He remembers. You smirk.

“You didn’t. You’re still broody. Quiet.”

“I’m not him anymore,” he retorted, expression darkening. 

“No,” you said, taking a step toward him, deliberate and slow. “You’re not.” 

You stop just close enough, just out of reach. 

He still towered over you, and your eyes flickered over his remade metal arm. The silver was gone. Along with his red star. Now, it gleamed black and gold. More monumental, less of a weapon.

Did he still dream in Russian? Was your name like blood in his mouth when he woke?

Then you look up at him—too-human eyes locking with yours.

“You can’t hurt me, Barnes. You don’t have his eyes.” 

His jaw ticked. He hates that you said that. But it was true. You thought maybe it was because a part of him wished he could take it all back. His cold hands against your skin, the bruising kisses, and the way he took you like you were nothing but orders. 

Then:

His hands were always clean. Even when they shouldn’t be. They locked you in here with him after every mission. And he barely looked at you. At first, anyway. He just sat. Silent. Elbows on his knees, hands clasped together, and eyes fixed onto the floor like it had all the answers.

You were there to keep him calm. 

You were the only one who could.

“Are you cold?” you asked.

His knuckles flex, and his jaw tightens.

Keeping your posture fluid, you walked over to him slowly. You weren’t a threat to him. He could crush your windpipe with only his flesh hand, never mind the metal one. The one that always found its way around your thigh. 

He still didn’t look up at you. Not when you crouched in front of him, trying to ignore the sharp stabbing pain in your side. 

“Soldat,” you whispered, using the name they gave him. The name etched into your mind, along with command, override phrases, and the touch of his skin. 

His ice blue eyes snapped at you—sharp, dangerous, unreadable. He was a predator. And he looked at you like he recognised you as another weapon. Or prey. 

Without hesitation, you reach for the zipper of your suit. Slowly dragging it down, revealing the skin of your chest to him. His gaze darts towards the swell of your breasts.

He moves the second your suit slips off your shoulders. Surging from the cot, he grabs you. Muscle and metal blurring together in the dim light. Before you know it, your body is slammed against the cold wall, one of his arms braced beside your head. The other hand gripping your waist. 

He swallowed your gasp, crashing his lips into yours. He was hungry, all teeth. His kisses were brutal, like how he fights. A moan escapes your throat, parting your lips for him. His tongue claimed you, sliding in deep, tasting you. 

His metal hand slid down your waist, toward your thigh. Your knees nearly give up before he hauls your leg over his hip. He pressed the hardness in his tac pants into your centre. 

“Mine,” he growls in Russian against your mouth. His voice was harsh, low—not human.

“Yours,” you whispered. 

This was the routine.

You didn’t flinch when you heard the tear in your suit. His hands ripping it from your body before tracing, pinching, and bruising your flushed skin. He lacked tenderness, but not purpose. He knew your body, and he was focused. 

His mouth trailed down your neck, bites stinging, leaving his mark. Further and further down. Before you cried out for him. He sank to his knees. Bit. Licked. The softest part, between your thighs.

Your fingers tangled in his hair. 

“Fuck—” you cry, hips thrusting when his tongue finds your clit. He didn’t tease. He wasn’t slow. He was a starving man—devouring you, memorizing the way you taste for him. 

He knew you were close. His fingers slid inside you, thick, cold, metal curling just right. Your legs are beginning to shake. 

He didn’t stop. Not when you cried out. Not when your body clenched around him. Not when your release rushed through your body. He never stopped. 

He rose, locking his eyes with yours once again. Now, they were burning with a dark intent. Freeing himself from his tac pants, his cock was thick, flushed… leaking. His hands spread your legs further, enough for him to fit between them.

He didn’t ask for permission. He never did.

You didn’t know what asking even looked like.

Present:

“You think I want to be him?” he bit.

“No,” you stayed calm, measured. “But I think he wanted me.” 

A ripple of guilt passed over his face. You reached out, your fingers brushing his metal arm. Barely brushing it. He flinched like you’d struck him. There is a part of you—a part that broke for him—which ached. 

“You shake now,” your voice barely above a whisper, tracing the gold vein like trails. 

“I live now,” he answered quietly, more to himself than you.

Your breath hitched in the back of your throat. Something inside you is cracking with understanding.

You looked up at him, a small smile spread over your lips. Your gaze is softer this time. “I could’ve loved the man you were.” 

“But that’s not who I was,” he sighed.

You nodded.

You wanted to walk away. You should have walked away. But your legs betrayed you, not letting you leave without asking the question. 

“If I said I missed him… would that make me sick?” 

He took a breath, collecting his thoughts before answering. “No,” he answered, eventually. “Just human.” 

There’s a moment that passes between you. A moment where you believe he’s about to step back into that old shell. Press you against the wall. Devour you one last time.

But he doesn’t.

You turn away.

And this time, he let you walk away. 

No orders. Just silence.

---

Thank you!

[haerenven]

If you write for him, could I ask for Sir Crocodile who is absolutely WHIPPED for reader? I loveee when he’s portrayed as a hopeless romantic for his partner and it’s even better when reader is the same way towards him ♡ sort of like Mortica and Gomez ^^ (I’m not normal about him I’m sorry LMAOWJDB)

           苦⠀⠀⠀℘𝗈𝖾𝗆𝖺𝗌⠀𝐞⠀⸺⠀𝒮ilenci̲o̲s⠀⠀٫

Pairings. Sir crocodile x fem!reader

summary. Whipped

— (a/n): i am so so super excited for that request, in fact I was waiting for crocodile for so long but got no idea.

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— He is devoted, not desperate.

Crocodile does not chase love—he does not stumble over himself to prove his worth, nor does he fall into the reckless behaviors of men who do not understand the meaning of control. He is not a man ruled by whims, yet when it comes to you, something inside him changes. He does not worship as poets or fools do; rather, he loves you as a man who fully understands what he owns. His love is deliberate, a silent force that weaves itself into your life without request, without question. He is not a beggar at the altar of your love—he is the altar itself, the ground upon which your love is built. His devotion is not a weakness; it is a law—unspoken, absolute, and completely unbreakable.

— Actions over words.

Crocodile is not a man who speaks in vain, nor does he waste his time on great declarations. Words are cheap. He has been a man of power for a very long time to believe in beautiful phrases and fleeting emotions. What he truly believes in is consistency. A gloved hand touching yours—not by accident, but because he wants to feel your presence. The way he ensures you walk on the safe side of the street, a silent habit that has become part of his nature. He watches over you not because he doubts your strength, but because the idea of something happening to you is not a possibility he can accept. Loyalty is not something he gives easily. But you? You hold his loyalty in a way no one else does, and even if he never says it out loud, you will know. You will always know.

— He indulges you—but only you.

Crocodile has no patience for fools. His subordinates know well not to waste his time, and he rarely engages in unnecessary conversations. But with you? His attention is yours alone. It does not matter if you are talking about something important or simply enjoying the sound of your own voice—he listens. He listens in a way that seems indifferent, reclining with a cigar in hand, occasionally letting out a hum or a low chuckle, but he does not miss a thing. He notices every change in your tone, every glance, every small smile that tugs at your lips. And when you turn to him expecting a reaction, he meets your gaze with that same knowing look—because of course he was listening. He remembers details no one else notices and indulges your whims in ways that are so subtle yet so profound that you do not realize how much he spoils you until you think about it.

— The little things he does to take care of you.

If you fight, your weapons are always in perfect condition—not because you asked, but because he made sure of it. There is no spectacle in the way he takes care of you, no unnecessary words or dramatic displays. He simply does. If you forget to eat, he will not scold or argue with you—he will place a plate in front of you, and he will not take no for an answer. If you are hurt, the entire world stops until it is taken care of. His hands—so accustomed to violence—become incredibly gentle when they touch you, his gloved fingers lifting your chin to examine even the smallest wounds. He does not make a fuss, does not overreact, but the tight set of his jaw says everything. His concern is silent but suffocating, woven into the very fabric of your life.

And if someone was the cause of your pain? That is an entirely different matter.

— His temper is controlled, but his rage is not.

Crocodile is not a man who acts on reckless emotion. He does not explode, does not waste his energy on unnecessary outbursts. His anger is quiet, cold, and patient. One glance from him can freeze a man where he stands, and a slow drag of his cigar is the only sign that he is deciding how to handle the situation. If someone hurts you—physically or emotionally—they will not know the moment they sealed their fate. There will be no warning. No second chances.

— He does not threaten. He does not need to.

Instead, things simply happen. Business partners disappear. “Accidents” occur. A man who dared to speak ill of you suddenly finds himself without allies, his empire crumbling beneath him. Revenge for him is easy, simple, effortless. He does not just remove problems—he erases them from existence as if they were never worth acknowledging in the first place.

And you? You do not even need to ask. By the time you mention the offense, it has already been dealt with.

— When he expresses his affection, it is with purpose.

Crocodile is not a man who wastes words. He does not say things he does not mean, and he certainly does not indulge in flowery phrases. But when he speaks to you, when his words are slow and measured, laced with something meant only for you—they carry weight.

“You are the only one who matters.”

Said in the dead of night, when the world is silent and his walls are at their lowest. His voice is rough, weary, but certain.

“I do not trust easily. You know that.”

A simple sentence, but the meaning behind it is undeniable.

And when he says “I love you”—on the rare occasions he does—it is never empty. Never casual. It is a statement, a fact, as unshakable as the empire he has built.

— He lets you in—truly in.

No one sees him as you do. No one sees past the Warlord, the businessman, the criminal. No one else knows what his silence truly means, what lingers behind those sharp amber eyes when no one else is looking. He is a man who does not trust, a man who has built his entire life on control, on keeping people at a distance.

— But you? You are different.

You see the rare moments when he is unguarded, when his head tilts back, eyes closed, exhaling a long breath as the tension drains from his body. When his hand—always gloved, always composed—finds its way to your waist, gripping just enough to remind himself that you are real. When he allows himself to sleep beside you, something he never does unless he is completely at ease.

To the world, he is untouchable. But to you? He is simply yours.

[chaconnehoon-reblogs]

Obsession- L. HS

✶ Heeseung x Fem! Reader

Synopsis- Who knew the shy, sweet boy from high school would change so much over a couple years? When you realized what you had been missing out on, you didn’t hesitate to show interest in him. Who knew what he really felt after finally having you to himself?

Word Count: 20k

Warnings: SMUT!! Lots of smut and mature themes in general, controlling parents, toxic relationship, Heeseung and reader are both a tiny bit crazy and obsessive

Smut warnings: Kissing, oral(f&m), dry humping, unprotected sex, public sex, masochism, voyeurism, hair pulling, sadism, squirting, etc. that I forgot, I apologize

A/N: Lots of very dark themes, please don’t read if you’re looking for pure vanilla smut bcs this is not the place!! I had many, many ideas for this but decided to take it easy as it’s my first full writing, so look forward to more of my ideas in the future! This was also proofread so many times but I’m sure there are still a few mistakes I missed, pls ignore them :)

Taglist:

@haelahoops @rayofsunshineeee @wannieepisod @ke4s @jungwonloveer @cyberinnie @tasnim10 @hee-yunie @iamliacamila @bluesoobinnie @sumzysworld @blckvper @capri-cuntz @parksunghoonsgf @ladyartemesia @seokseokjinkim

This is fiction and the scenarios are completely fake and from my brain, none of the characters are like this in real life, MDNI!

For once in your life, you felt free.

The moment you came out of your mother’s womb, grumpy and crying, were thrown under constant observation. Every friend you made and every building you stepped foot into was to be researched and evaluated by your parents before you were given their permission to have a social life.

When you were in kindergarten you were accidentally pushed off of the play structure by another student, but stood back up with no serious injuries. However, when your mother picked you up and seen the cuts from the bark on your arm, she demanded you tell her who had hurt you and later requested that the teacher kept you and the boy separated for the rest of the year.

The next day, the same boy introduced himself as Jake and handed you a heart lollipop, asking you to be his valentine. And so you agreed, and you agreed every year after that, until he eventually stopped asking when you both knew the answer would stay the same.

Your mother disapproved of Jake, claiming he’s too mischievous and a bad influence on you. He was both of those things, but he never showed it, which is why you came to the conclusion that your mother just didn’t like him simply because he’s a boy. She had to put up with him though, because of your fathers undying love for your friend, claiming him as his “son he never had”.

Your friendship with Jake had blossomed since day one, and he was your one and only best friend from that point on, until you both started your freshman year of high school. High school was different; there were different subjects, different sports, different people.

So, when Jake showed up at your front door one day after school with two boys, one on either side of him, your mother slammed the door in their faces and called for you to come downstairs. She dragged you to the window and cracked the blinds open enough for both of you to see through, and then shut them before looking at you with her arms crossed. “Explain” she spat out and your eyes widened as you shook your head. “I don’t know them ma, I swear!” You put your hands up defensively and then she rolled her eyes before peeking through the blinds again.

She let out an unbelieving ‘mhm’ and you threw your arms in the air. “I promise! They’re probably just Jake’s friends, he’s a guy and he needs to have other guy friends too, you would know.” You hissed the last phrase at her and you could see her jaw clench before she turned to you again. “Don’t use that tone with me.” She remained calm while she spoke but you’re sure if you looked hard enough you could see the steam coming from her ears.

“I’m just saying” you started speaking before plopping yourself on the couch just below the window, “You always say I shouldn’t be friends with boys, especially the ones like Jake. So maybe he made new friends that are like him.” You looked at your mother as if waiting for her validation, but she just kept her eyes on the boys. You joined her again and appreciated the fact that they didn’t give up and leave, which was probably Jake’s idea considering he was standing with his arms crossed and staring straight into the door.

Before you could try to convince her more, your father was pulling up in the drive way, honking when he noticed the kids at his front door and you tried not to giggle when the three boys jumped and whipped their heads around. You seen Jake slightly relax at the sight of your dad walking up to them with his keys in his hand, and he was eventually unlocking the front door and letting them inside.

Your mother huffed before your father was pulling her into a nearby room and you heard him harshly scold her for being so immature. Outside of the room, Jake was squeezing you half to death in a tight hug, before letting go and whispering an apology for bringing two strangers along with him. “This is Jay” he turned to the boy on his left and put an arm around his shoulder, “and this is Sunghoon” he swung his other arm over the other boy’s shoulder, but had tilted slightly upwards due to the height difference.

You held your hand out and greeted both boys, looking them in the eyes and noting how Sunghoon was quick to avoid eye contact, instead looking at the floor. Jay on the other hand, was confident in himself and gave you a little smirk as you smiled at him. He had low, lazy looking eyes, but his smirk was sharp and showed off his dimple nicely. Sunghoon was shy, but he was nonetheless gorgeous and had the most beautiful eyebrows you’d ever seen. You were also quite fond of his dimpled smile, which shows his sharp canine teeth that resemble vampire fangs.

From that day on, Jay and Sunghoon were added to your friend group and were soon considered your best friends, along with Jake of course. Jake was your number one from the start and you will always see him as that, trusting him the most with your life.

So, when you were both 16 and upset that you hadn’t had your first kiss yet, you let Jake take that title as he kissed you behind the school after you had asked. He was pretty inexperienced himself, but being handsome from an early age allowed him to kiss a few girls in his life before having the pleasure of kissing you. This didn’t change anything in your relationship, staying as friends and promising to never cross that line.

Even if there were no strings attached, the kiss ignited something inside of you, having you crave more and more until you were satisfied. For the rest of your high school experienced, you had experimented relationships with a few people, even going as far as kissing other girls, but realizing you liked the spark you got from being with a man.

✶.

Your best friends were by your side throughout everything, giggling along with you while you talked about a new boyfriend, or supporting you when you wanted to egg the same guy’s car after he cheated on you. The boys were by your side when you fought with your mom about moving away for college, even helping you move into your apartment when you did. They were even by your side the day you started your third year of college and you had gotten accused of sleeping with another girl’s boyfriend at a party. But instead of encouraging you to fight her when she started putting her hair up, Jay had thrown a cockroach at her, resulting in the four of you running into a random classroom to hide.

“Seriously though, who even tries to start a physical fight anymore, we’re too old for that.” Jay was shaking his head and laughing through his sentence like it was the funniest thing he ever experienced. “Who throws bugs at other people!?” Sunghoon smacks Jay in the back of the head before speaking again, “We’re too old for that too!” Sunghoon’s voice sounds horse like he’s really stressing the situation as if he’s so mature himself.

“Oh come on!” Jake is speaking now, adding a whine to his voice, “Don’t act like you didn’t put that snake in a can prank in Heeseung’s backpack last year!” His recollection causes everyone to burst out laughing, and you try your best to laugh along despite your lack of knowledge of the situation.

“Right! Who could forget!” A fifth voice pulls you out of your thoughts as the five of you go quiet, slowly turning around to find where the voice was coming from. Your eyes widen as you mentally facepalm for not looking around the room before entering.

“Oh! What’s up Heeseung?” Jake is greeting him before you can even register who the boy a few feet away from you is. Heeseung sighs before walking up a few steps, “Hi Jake” he shifts his focus, “Jay…Sunghoon” he gives a glance towards the other two before locking eyes with you. “Y/N” he says lowly as if he held anger behind his voice.

You don’t understand why he would be angry at you. Perhaps it’s the fact that you stumbled into a random classroom, and maybe he’s busy with something that you interrupted. But with the way he’s looking at you, it feels deeper than your understanding.

“Heeseung! Hi!” You smiled softly at him, trying your best to not sound intimidated despite your breathy voice. “It’s been a while, huh?” You try making small talk and you hear Jay snicker next to you.

“It’s been three years.” Heeseung sounds snarky as he walks up the last few steps with his hands in his hoodie pocket and finally stands across from all four of you. “Right…three years.“ you nod your head and you hear Sunghoon clear his throat, “Look Heeseung, we’re not trying to start anything, and I apologize for what I pulled last year.” Sunghoon defends himself, standing up straighter as if he’s sizing up towards Heeseung.

A few silent seconds pass before Heeseung is throwing his head back and bursting out in laughter. The three boys around you all exchange quick glances before Heeseung is running a hand through his hair and speaking again, “You guys are too funny.” He takes one long step over, sticking out his hand like he’s offering it to Jake.

You look at Jake from next to him, watching as he swallows dryly while looking at Heeseung’s extended hand. You nudge his opposite arm slightly and he breaks his gaze, looking at you before looking at Heeseung’s face, which is now settled with a small smirk. You nudge him harder in hopes that he’ll take the hint, and he eventually does considering he’s quick to pull his hand out from his own pocket and dabs Heeseung up, a loud clapping sound following.

“Relax, Sim” Heeseung says lowly this time and you hear the rasp in his voice. Jake lets out an awkward giggle and retracts his hand, wiping the sweat off onto his thigh, “What are you doing in here anyways?” Heeseung looks around the room before turning back to your friend group, “Well, I wanted to get to know the location of my class before it started.” He raises a questioning eyebrow, “I’d assume you all were too if I hadn’t overheard your conversation.” Heeseung laughs to himself and you suddenly remember that you hadn’t found your class yet. “Oh! That’s right! Well I guess we should probably get going then.” You sweetly smile at Heeseung and the boys next to you all let out sounds of realization when they remember they still need to find their classes also.

“What classes do you guys have?” Heeseung sits atop one of the desks and you wait for the boys to speak up, but instead they’re all searching for their schedule on their phones. “Um…I have intro to music prouction.” You sound confident this time, but slowly loose the confidence once you see how deeply Heeseung is staring at you. “Oh! Me too!” Sunghoon smiles brightly and wraps an arm around your waist, which doesn’t go unnoticed by Heeseung. “Hey! Me three! Let’s go!” Jake flexes an arm proudly while patting Sunghoon on the back. “Well, looks like we all have it together!” Jay suddenly says and joins your circle of cheers.

Heeseung watches from the table he’s sitting on, noting how close you and the boys seem. Of course you’re close, you have been since you’ve met, but Heeseung still can’t help the feeling of jealousy he senses deep in his stomach.

“I guess we should go look for the room then.” Jake releases from the group and heads for the classroom door until Heeseung is speaking up again. “No need” he states simply and you all turn to look at him for the nth time. “This is the intro to music production room.” He says with a shrug, looking around the room. You again feel the need to mentally face palm as you failed to notice the set up of the classroom, but also feel thankful that you hadn’t knocked over any important and expensive equipment.

You all stand awkwardly for a few seconds until the bell suddenly rings and Jake lets out a small yelp. You giggle at him and you can see Heeseung’s jaw clench as he quickly stands up and then sits down at the same table’s seat. You glance around the classroom, too uncomfortable to sit anywhere but not sure if it would make Heeseung uncomfortable to sit next to him. Before you could make a decision Jake is pulling you into the seat next to Heeseung, and then sitting next to you with Sunghoon and Jay following.

You glare at Jake and he gives you big puppy eyes and juts out his bottom lip, pouting as an apology. You roll your eyes and stare back towards the front of the class, trying your best to focus on the people filling up the seats while Heeseung is looking at you through his peripheral vision. “So,” Jay’s voice startles you and you feel your knee bump Heeseung’s, but he’s quick to place a hand on it to keep you from moving further. You look down at his hand before looking up at him through your eyelashes, then quickly turn your attention towards Jay when he’s talking again.

“Heeseung, um, I didn’t know you take music production classes.” Jake and Sunghoon hum in agreement and you’re wondering how long it’s been since they had last seen him. “You did” Heeseung is quick to spit out, almost annoyed. “When you put the snake can in my backpack? That was in our ethnomusicology class.” He pauses and you can almost see a hurt look in his eye as he looks past you and towards your friends. “And the year before that was when we all had music theory together.” You widen your eyes at the realization that your friends are either very dumb, or very self absorbed to not notice him before. Possibly both.

“Oh right!” Jake snaps his fingers and points at Heeseung with a big smile on his face. “I remember now! Such fun classes.” He hums the last part as if he’s missing them while Heeseung seems to be feeling the quite opposite. He squeezes your knee with his hand that you forgot was touching you, and you look up at him with big eyes. This seems to calm him as he rubs light circles with his thumb before pulling his hand away and into his lap.

As if on que, the professor walks in and greets the class, introducing himself and starting a long synopsis of the course, and you soon find yourself forgetting all about the new yet old peer next to you.

✶.

You wouldn’t consider Heeseung as an old friend. In fact, you’re not sure he even has any real friends. Of course he has the occasional book worms that you would see him studying with in high school. However, that was years ago, and you just seeing him again now.

Which is why you’re now pushing the back of Jake’s head when you walk behind him as he’s relaxing on your couch, questioning why he never told you how much Heeseung had changed.

“Because? I didn’t think you’d care?” He looks at you in confusion as you lay on the couch next to him, throwing your legs across his lap and he places his arms behind his head. “You don’t think I’d care about how hot he is?” You scoff and Jake just shrugs while looking up at your ceiling.

You look towards Sunghoon and Jay who were raiding your fridge, then pausing like they were caught committing a crime. “Hey don’t look at us!” Sunghoon hissed before he turns and opens up your microwave, putting what you can assume is a bowl of ramen inside. “Yeah don’t look at us” Jay speaks in between taking sips of your two liter of coke, “We’re not your new eye candy” he teases and you roll your eyes, looking away and back towards Jake.

“I’m just saying guys,” you throw your arms in the air like you’re trying to make a point. “Last I seen he was a nerd with big round glasses and ears too big for his head,” you almost catch yourself smiling before you’re talking again, “and now? He has nice hair and the height of the green giant?” You hear Jake laugh and you watch as he picks his head back up and places his hands on your legs. “Trust me Y/N,” Jake shakes his head, “He’s still as much of a pathetic nerd as he always has been, he was just trying to act tough in front of you.” He lightly pokes your legs and you wiggle them away until you’re sitting up next to him.

“Well you know I do like pathetic men.” You smile to yourself, not even the slightest ashamed of your enjoyment of corrupting cute boys. “But why would he try to act tough for me?” You furrow your brows at Jake and he pressed his lips into a line like he’s disappointed in your question. “Are you serious?” Sunghoon is yelling from the kitchen this time, “He has like the biggest crush on you!” He’s crossing his arm and tapping his foot like a disappointed father, much like Jake.

You shake your head and laugh loudly, “That was in high school! I doubt he still does.” You try your best to sound sure of yourself, but the last sentence comes out quiet. “Bullshit” Jake slaps your thigh and you glare at him as he pokes your head. “You didn’t see the way he was looking at you earlier?” You shake your head and slap his arm away and he scoffs. “So oblivious” you frown at him while he’s talking about you as if he’s not talking to you. “Plus” he starts again and raises his eyebrows in a flirty way, “He’s been asking about you for the past two years, trying to figure out if he’d have a class with you n’ shit.” Jake shrugs and you scold him for not telling you before.

“What? So you like him all of a sudden?” Jay sinks into the couch next to you and extends an arm across the back, encasing you next to him. “Just because he’s cute now?” He kissed his teeth and shakes his head as if he’s disapproving. “He’s always been cute, just in a different way.” you start off but you’re quickly interrupted by shocked gasps from the three boys and a loud crash from the kitchen.

The three of you turn on the couch to see Sunghoon standing in the kitchen entrance with a bowl of ramen in one hand and the other hand clutching his chest, mouth agape in shock. “You did not just say that.” He whispers breathily like he’s just been told life changing news. “And you did not just break one of my favorite glasses.” You give him an offended look and point a finger at him, then towards your now shattered glass cup on the floor. “You’re cleaning that up and buying me a new one.” You quirk an eyebrow at him and he rolls his eyes, setting down his ramen before bending down to pick up the fallen glass. You tried your best to ignore the fake groans he lets out as if he’s too old and fragile to bend.

“Anyways” Jake claps his hands, “I’m taking a nap! You guys can either join me or stay awake and not break anything so she doesn’t kick us out.” You turn back towards Sunghoon to see him at the trashcan now, flipping Jake off without looking in your direction. Jake only makes it to standing for a second before you’re pulling him back down by his belt loops, resulting in him landing back onto the couch with a huff.

“No.” You simply state and poke his chest, “You’re gonna sit here and explain to me what prank on Heeseung you guys were talking about.” You cross your arms and Jake just whines and sinks himself into the couch more. “It’s nothing really.” Sunghoon sits on the floor in front of the three of you, now slurping his bowl of ramen. “You don’t get a say in if it’s ‘nothing’ or not.” You narrow your eyes at the boy and he breaks eye contact with you to stir his ramen.

“Seriously Y/N” Jay puts a hand on your shoulder, turning you to look at him, “We had bought one of those fake cans that have snakes that pop out, and Hoon was showing it to us. When he went to put it back, Heeseung’s backpack just happened to be the closest to Hoon at the time so he mistook it as his.” Jay tries to reassure you but you just sink yourself into the couch, the same as Jake. “Was funny as fuck though.” Sunghoon was adding on, almost choking on his ramen as he laughed.

You know they’re not lying to you, you’ve grown up with these boys basically your whole life and you know they’d never intentionally bully someone. You’re not sure why you care so much about Heeseung all of a sudden, and as if he could read your mind, Sunghoon is speaking up. “Don’t tell me you’re thinking about him like that.” He stands up and walks to the kitchen, making an audible tsk noise.

You sigh and tap your fingers against the couch, deep in thought. The last time you had really spoken to Heeseung he had fluffy, unstyled hair, and wore cute sweaters that he always looked so cozy in. His eyes were big and round, and sparkled no matter how dark it was. He also had cute pink lips with a pretty Cupid’s bow that pulled into a pretty smile. “I guess I am.” You sat up from the couch and Jake made a noise like you had woken him up suddenly. You turn to look at him and he widens his eyes, “I heard everything I promise! You were talking about how much you wanted to kiss Heeseung~.” He teases the last sentence like a middle school girl teasing you for having a crush.

You pushed his shoulder slightly and stood up from the couch, stretching your arms above your head. “Whatever, I’m also going to take a nap so don’t break anything!” You called out while walking up the stairs, hearing an offended scoff come from Sunghoon.

✶

You expected to show up to a frat party on the first Friday night of the semester and get black out drunk for the first time in a while. You didn’t expect to see Heeseung there as well. He was there though, surprisingly not standing out, but not quite fitting in either.

He was making his way towards the corner of the room, and that’s when you realized maybe he hadn’t changed too much. Since the first day you met him, he was always backed up into a random corner of any room, eyes wide and shoulders tense. However, now he looks slightly more comfortable, but not at ease.

Jay throws an arm around your shoulder, annoyingly pulling you close and you can already smell the alcohol on his breath despite just walking into the house 30 seconds ago. “What a surprise.” He says with raised eyebrows that quickly fall when he takes another sip out of the questionable cup he grabbed.

You face him and grab the cup out of his hands, setting it down on a shelf close to you. “You sicko! Where did you get this? You don’t even know what’s in it.” Jay shrugs at your words and respectably burps away from your face before replying, “Something with Rum. I know my baby when I taste it.” He giggles to himself and you scrunch your nose and try to push him off of you, giving up after realizing he’s somehow stronger when he’s intoxicated.

“Check it out.” You hear Jay lowly mumble into your ear, causing you to follow his gaze back towards Heeseung. This time, he’s talking to a girl with a bored expression on his face. You can hear the girl scoff offendedly before throwing her drink all over Heeseung’s shirt, walking away with a disgusted look on her face. “Oh…shit.” Jay’s voice drops and he seems to sober up slightly. “What the fuck?” You turn to look at Jay and he just shrugs at you, going back to grab his mixture of rum and mystery juice.

Before he can stop you, you’re breaking away from him and mumbling, “Go back with the boys, I’ll make sure he’s okay.” and then following Heeseung who is now making his way out of the kitchen and upstairs.

You find him in a bathroom attempting to soak up the alcohol with a bath towel, groaning when he realizes it’s not working. You knock softly on the open door and he looks up to make eye contact with you in the mirror, eyes wide and you catch a glimpse of the old Heeseung you use to know. “Hey” you greet him with a soft smile, like you’re trying to prove you’re not a threat, “I seen what happened and I just wanted to make sure you’re okay.” He nods slowly and moves slightly to let you inside of the bathroom with him.

“M’ fine. She’s just mad I rejected her” His words are mumbled as he keeps dabbing the towel on his shirt, “I’ll just change.” You furrow your eyebrows and he looks up to see your confused face, smiling at what he thinks is a cute reaction. “This is my house.” He reassures you and your eyes widen as you sit on top of the closed toilet, leaning your arm on the sink and placing your chin in your palm. The new angle has Heeseung avoiding eye contact and you smile to yourself at the realization that maybe your friends were right about his never ending crush on you.

“It’s a pretty house.” You say softly and he nods his head. “You live alone?” You think that this might be the most words you’ve ever directly spoken to Heeseung. He shakes his head, seemingly more shy and less verbal than he was the other day. “You don’t have to act tough in front of me you know.” You quirk an eyebrow and he pauses his movements, mentally cursing at himself when he realizes that you had caught on. “You don’t have to act cool.” You’re tapping your nails on the sink and before he can respond you’re speaking again. “I think you’re already cool.” You smile seeing his eyes widen before he clears his throat.

“Um, thank you? Or…I don’t know how to respond to that.” You giggle at his reaction, standing up and now staring at yourself in the mirror. You try not to move your gaze from where you’re fixing your hair, but seeing Heeseung’s doe eyes also watching you through the mirror makes your stomach flip. You see his mouth open before he closes it again, then open a second time as he starts speaking, “Do you wanna help me pick out a new shirt to wear? Not that I care what you think but- well I do care but I don’t-“ “Sure, Hee” you cut him off and he relaxes at your answer, nodding before he leads you out of the bathroom and down the hall to his own room.

As you pass the stairs, you see your three friends pause on the middle step and their jaws drop at the sight of you following Heeseung to his room. You bite your bottom lip to hold back your smile and you widen your eyes in a way to acknowledge that you know what they’re thinking.

The first step into Heeseung’s room is surprisingly refreshing, and not filled with the scent of a man in his early 20s. Instead, it smells almost warm yet fruity and sets you into a comfortable mood. You sit on the edge of his bed and watch as he opens his closet, shuffling through an array of different colored shirts. He grabs a light blue short sleeve and holds it up against himself, turning to see your reaction. You scrunch your nose and shake your head, telling him it doesn’t match the color of his cargo pants.

He models a few more shirts before landing on a black long sleeve, tilting his head to the side as he watches your reaction. You smile softly and nod your head, imaging how handsome he’d look in such a simple yet fitting shirt. He walks towards the bed before looking at you and then quickly looking away.

“Can you like, turn around or something?” He speaks softly, not wanting to hurt your feelings. You flash a pretty smile at him before poking his side. “Why? You shy?” You tease and he’s quick to shake his head and before you can tell him you’re kidding, he’s pulling his shirt over his head and tossing it on the bed next to you.

Your jaw goes slack and you analyze every part of Heeseung’s torso, too shocked to care if he catches you staring. He’s slim but well defined, with a broad chest and wide shoulders. His body is definitely more mature, but his face as he watches you check him out is the same as it always has been. His big doe eyes watch shyly and his pretty lips softly frown when you stare for too long, quickly getting insecure when he thinks maybe you’re judging him.

He’s quick to throw the new shirt on and you don’t miss how he suddenly caves in on himself, apologizing for being too comfortable. “No, Heeseung don’t apologize.” You swollow dryly, still in shock. “You’re beautiful.” You watch as his ears slightly turn pink and he fights to keep a shy smile off of his lips. You grab his hand so he looks at you and you pat the bed next to you, giggling as he stumbles onto the bed.

“You should be more confident in yourself.” You speak quietly as you play with his fingers of the hand that you’re still holding. “I mean it. You’re beautiful and you don’t need to try hard to show it.” Your words make him slightly perk up, feeling his ego inflate a bit. “Wish you could’ve told me that sooner.” This time he’s the one speaking quietly while he’s looking at your intertwined fingers. “What?” You ask but he’s quick to shake his head like he regrets what he said.

You bring your free hand up to his face, softly cupping his cheek as he looks at you with almost guilt filled eyes. Just as you’re about to ask him to elaborate, a loud pounding shakes his bedroom door that you didn’t even realize he had closed and locked, and he’s quick to stand up and open it. Sunghoon almost falls into the room as the door opens, being forcefully pushed by Jay who is holding a very drunk Jake.

“My apologies lovebirds.” Sunghoon sounds out of breath, seeming as if he maybe had to help Jay carry the body of your other limp friend upstairs. “Jake is already fucked and throwing up everywhere. We got him to the bathroom but he threw up in one of the plant pots in the living room before we could.”

Heeseung sighs and runs a hand through his hair, “I’ll have one of my roommates clean that. Thanks for letting me know though.” Sunghoon gives him a quick nod before turning to you and motioning his head towards the door this time. You try not to look disappointed as you get up from the bed and make your way to the doorway. Before you step out, you turn around and plant a quick kiss on Heeseung’s cheek, watching as he stands there stunned before you turn to help carry your friend down the stairs.

✶

You sat with your chin in your palm, staring at the side of Heeseung’s face similarly to the way you did at the party. You could tell he was trying hard to pretend like he’s focusing on what the professor was saying, but you knew his mind was running a mile a minute.

After the party, you couldn’t help but feel excited for the next time you’d see Heeseung, giggling to yourself at night over how cute he looked when he was flustered. Your friends begged you to tell them what had happened when you were alone, and begged harder to know how good he was in bed. You swore on Sunghoon’s life that nothing had happened, which resulted in Sunghoon playing dead after “having a heart attack”.

You somewhat wished that you could answer them, imagining what would’ve happened if they hadn’t interrupted your almost intimate moment with Heeseung. Your eyes grazed over his face, stopping at his lips. Your stomach tingled as you thought of how close you were to kissing him, how innocently he looked at you while you held his face. The urge to be close to him again took over, and you almost subconsciously shifted your foot to rub against his own.

You watched as he stopped breathing for a second, then swallowed harshly which dropped your attention down to his Adam’s apple. The way it bobbed every time he spoke or swallowed made your mouth water, wanting to lean over and take a bite out of his neck. You’re so lost in thought you almost didn’t hear him whisper out to you.

“S-stop staring at me.” He tries to sound stern but stutters and gives up, shaking his head in disappointment in himself. His reaction is cute to you, and you can’t help but reach out and poke his round cheek. ”Can’t help it, you’re too cute.” He blushes lightly and before you can retract your hand fully, he’s grabbing it and intertwining his fingers with yours, then dropping both of your hands into his lap.

Even if it’s not an intimate gesture, the idea of being so close to Heeseung in a public setting has you craving more. You’ve barely gotten to know him but he’s already addicting, and you wonder if he feels the same way towards you. You move your pinky that’s trapped between your hands and his thigh, and you notice how his body stiffens at the most innocent touch. You love the feeling of control you have over him, wanting-needing more.

You rub your pinky against his leg a few more times before letting go of his hand, and instead grabbing his thigh. He lets out a squeak-like noise, eyes widening as he sees Jake peek around from the other side of you, raising an eyebrow before smirking and nudging your side. You nudge him back and tell him to focus, all while rubbing your hand up and down Heeseung’s thigh, occasionally squeezing it lightly. The sight of him breathing heavily makes you squeeze your own thighs together, suddenly feeling very aroused by the shy boy next to you.

You struggle to pay attention for the rest of the class, tuning in when the professor brings up the first major assignment and then tuning back out when he starts talking about his failed marriage. Most of your brain capacity is taken over by the thought of Heeseung, getting giddy over the idea of him simply existing as if he’s not sitting next to you.

You hear Jake audibly groan when class is dismissed, muttering about how sore his neck ended up after Jay fell asleep on his shoulder. As your group walks down the stone pathway Sunghoon takes this opportunity to “massage” Jake’s neck, when in reality, a massage from Sunghoon means he tries to painfully poke his slim fingers into your pressure points.

Jake thrashes around as an attempt to get away from Sunghoon’s fingers, bumping into Jay who then bumps into you, causing you to fall backwards and into Heeseung. You collapse on top of him, pushing the both of you over and landing on his lap like a scene you from a cliché romance movie. “Woah guys!” Jay yells out, covering his eyes as if he’s so bothered by a position he’s in every other night. “Get a room horn dogs.” You just roll your eyes and stand up, reaching your hand out for Heeseung to grab.

As soon as he’s up, he’s quickly turning away and avoiding eye contact. You go to tease his shy behavior until you spot the bulge below his belt which he does a terrible job at hiding. “Oh dude.” Jay is trying not to sound amused, but the way Heeseung bites his lip looks all too much like he’s about to cry. You lean over to Jay and tell him and the boys to keep walking back to your apartment while you attempt to talk to Heeseung.

You softly grab the loose fabric of his hoodie sleeve and turn him to face you, stopping him from walking further but frown when he ends up staring straight at the ground. “Hey, Hee.” You cup his cheek softly like you did the other night and he leans his head into your palm.

You take this as a sign of comfort and slide your hand to his chin, grabbing it lightly and forcing him to look at you. “It’s fine baby, don’t worry about that.” His eyes widen at the nickname and he suddenly feels hot under your touch. “We’re just gonna go back to my apartment. Then maybe I can help you out there, is that okay?” He nods in response and that’s all the reassurance you need to grab his hand and speed walk home.

✶

The second you stepped foot into your house, you yelled for the guys to make themselves comfortable as if they didn’t practically live there with how often they were over, and dragged Heeseung to the kitchen. “You need water? Hungry?” You rummage through your fridge, wanting to take care of Heeseung first and foremost. He just shakes his head, nervous eyes darting around your house as he takes in the new unfamiliar area.

“Don’t need anything?” You ask now sipping out of a water bottle and placing it on the counter next to you. “No” Heeseung’s voice shakes, “Just need you.” He drops his head and you do the same, eyes landing right on his still painful hard-on. You look back up and he quickly looks away, and you realize you may never be able to make eye contact with him but making him flustered will always make you smile.

Taking his hand you lead Heeseung up to your bedroom, not even sparing a glance towards your friends as you hear them cheering and hollering behind your back. The way Heeseung’s hand feels hot and sweaty tells you that he definitely doesn’t have much experience, and it seems to arouse you more knowing he probably doesn’t have much to compare you to.

You open your bedroom door, pulling Heeseung inside before closing it and twisting the lock. You turn around to see Heeseung standing awkwardly, hands playing with each other as he looks at you shyly. Walking up to him, you grab both of his hands and look directly into his eyes and this time he doesn’t try to look away. “If anything makes you uncomfortable you can tell me, mkay?” You speak softly and he takes a deep breath hearing how gentle you’re being with him.

You bring him to sit on the side of your bed and sit next to him as you cup his cheek, a familiar position but in a different setting this time. “Have you ever kissed anyone?” You ask and you see the way his eyes flicker down to your lips before they find their way back to your eyes. “No…but I know you have.” His words make you feel a slight pang of guilt in your heart like you should’ve known you’d eventually end up with him.

“The boys told me about your little crush on me.” His eyes widen but he doesn’t deny it and you smile before shifting your touch on his face and using your thumb to gently play with his bottom lip. “Don’t worry” you move your hand to play with the hair on the nape of his neck and lean in close enough for your noses to touch. You can feel his lips brush yours when you speak again. “I think it’s cute.” You purr and gently close the gap between the two of you.

The first kiss lasts a few seconds before you pull away to check on him, but to your surprise he was pouncing back into you and kissing you harshly before you could say anything. You giggle against his lips and grab his shoulders forcing him off of you and he whines at the loss of contact. “Gentle, we don’t have to rush.” He immediately slumps into himself and you take this as an opportunity to push him down onto your bed.

You straddle his hips and smile down at him while he looks up at you with eyes already glossed over and hazy. You lean down, slotting his bottom lip between yours and gently sucking on it. He whines and both of his hands tightly grip your hips while yours land on his chest. He seems to pick up the idea of kissing easily, slightly speeding up excitedly when you quietly moan into the kiss.

You swipe your tongue across his lip and he parts his lips slightly, which allows your tongue to snake in while his does the same and you finally taste him. He lets out a loud moan and quickly pulls back like he didn’t mean to let it slip but you just pull him back in with a harsh grab of his hair. He moans into your mouth again but this time you feel his hands rocking your hips against his and that’s when you remember how hard he was and how badly he must be waiting for release.

“Let me take care of you, Hee.” You pull away from the kiss and he nods rapidly as if he’s been waiting for you to offer. You dip your head into his neck and gently suck and nip at the warm skin, trailing your lips down towards his collarbone as you hear another soft moan escape. You slide off of him and down onto your knees between his legs, tapping one so he gets the hint to let you between them.

He slowly opens his legs just enough for you to fit between and sits up to watch when you start unbuckling his belt. He sighs when you finally take it off and rub your hands on his thighs comfortingly before making your way towards the button on his jeans. You look up at him before unzipping them, looking for any signs of discomfort but all you’re met with is the sight of his bright pink cheeks and dilated pupils.

As soon as you get his jeans off of him you attach your lips to his bare thighs, peppering light kisses trailing from his knees to the hem of his boxers. You reach up to palm his hard-on and when your hand makes contact with him through his underwear, he lets out a whimper that shoots right to your core.

His hips buck into your hand impatiently and he goes to apologize when you’re suddenly grabbing his waistband and pulling his boxers down. He lifts his hips to help you get them down his legs, his cock springing up and catching your attention. He’s big and you don’t know why you’re so surprised considering how big the rest of him is.

He catches you staring for too long and suddenly covers himself up with his hands. “Is it okay?” He’s asking hesitantly and you instantly coo at how cute he is. “So pretty.” You hum and pull his hands away, placing them on the back of your head instead. He takes the hint and threads his fingers through your hair and tugs softly.

You place one hand on his thigh to steady yourself and softly grab his cock with the other, stroking him slightly before using your thumb to smear his precum across his tip. His hips buck into your hand again and you kiss your teeth and smile up at him. “Look at you.” You kiss the base of his cock before trailing kisses up until you reach his tip, kissing it even softer and licking the precum off of your lips. “Taste so good.” Your words seem to affect him strongly as he throws his head back and lets out a breathy whine.

“Please, Y/N, Please.” You’re not exactly sure what he’s begging for but you take it as encouragement to finally press your tongue flat against his tip, then guide yourself down to take more of him into your mouth. “Oh God .” He’s moaning louder this time and you know for sure that your friends can hear him from downstairs.

You pull off of him before immediately sinking back down, taking all of him in your mouth this time. The feeling of him sliding down your throat makes you moan around him and you feel his body jerk at the new sense of stimulation. You bob your head and feel the way his fingers tighten the grip he has on your hair, more moans and whimpers slipping from his lips.

Each sound he makes arouses you more and you don’t even realize that you’ve positioned yourself over his foot before you’re grinding down, moaning at the contact between his foot and your core. He opens his eyes and looks down at you in shock, not realizing how arousing the view from above was. The angle gives him access from the top of your head to your butt, watching how your seducing eyes flutter closed when you take him down your throat and the way your hips move fluidly while you grind down onto his foot.

You open your eyes and pull off of him, jerking him in your hand, eyes wide as you watch his brows furrow with flushed cheeks and his breathing turns uneven. “D-don’t look at me like that.” He sounds so close and you know he’s trying to hold back and impress you by not cumming too fast. “You sound so sexy.” You swirl your tongue around his tip while keeping eye contact with him. “Fuck.” He’s breathing harder and you know he’s seconds away from finishing.

“You going to cum for me baby?” The nickname pushes him right over the edge as he takes one last deep breath before letting out the sweetest whine, and you take the opportunity to take him back into your mouth, just in time to feel his cum spurting down your throat. You continue to suck until he’s lifting you off of him by your hair, and your mouth leaves his cock with an audible pop.

You lick any remaining release from your lips and make your way to stand up as he tucks himself back into his boxers and slide his jeans back up his legs. When he finishes buttoning them you’re climbing back onto his lap and wrapping your arms around his neck.

You kiss him softly, half surprised by the fact that he let you as if he didn’t care that you just had him finish in your mouth, and half aroused at the same time. “You did so good, Hee.” You praise him as you pull away and you don’t miss the way he still blushes at your compliments. “What about you?” He whispers against your lips and you give him a quick peck before pulling away to cup his face. “What about me?” You ask and he looks down at his lap and mumbles almost too quietly for you to hear. “Wanna make you feel good too.” Your heart warms at his words and you shake your head in response before kissing him again. “Taking care of you is enough for me, don’t worry about that.” Your voice is stern but caring and he nods before tucking his face in your your neck.

“I could go for a nap, you wanna join me?” You pick his face up and kiss the tip of his nose and he nods, letting you climb off of his lap and into your bed, then lays next to you as you tuck yourself into the sheets.

You turn to your side and he lays behind you, pulling you close with his arms wrapped around you, inhaling the scent of your perfume. Your breathing syncs with each other’s and you soon hear his soft snores coming from behind you, and you smile to yourself, wishing you could stay like this forever.

✶

The first thing you notice when you wake up is that it’s cold. Your bed is no longer kept warm from the heat of Heeseung’s body against yours, and your heart breaks a little at the idea of him leaving you already.

You’re not usually the type of person to keep contact after a hookup, but something about your relationship with Heeseung feels different. Even through the little time you’ve gotten to know each other, you feel like it’s been years- like the years you could’ve gotten to know Heeseung in if it weren’t for conflicting schedules.

Making your way downstairs you can hear your friends’ voices chatting away until they hear your heavy, sleepy footsteps. Rounding the corner, you find all three boys in the kitchen with Jay cooking ramen while Sunghoon and Jake sit at the table sipping on bottles of beer.

“Well good morning sleeping beauty.” Jay pats your shoulder as you grunt in response, opening the fridge and taking a long sip of cold water. “It’s like 5pm.” You rasp out as you take a seat sitting next to your friends. “It’s 8pm.” Sunghoon chuckles before taking a swig of his beer and turning to you, smoothing out your bedhead.

“What!?” Your eyes widen and you look around frantically before Sunghoon places his hand atop yours, pulling your attention back to him. “Relax, Heeseung left not too long ago- said he had something to get back to at home.” The three boys could see your frown forming and noticed the your eyes stayed glued to the table.

“Don’t worry, he left this.” Jake slaps a sticky note on the table in front of you, winking before getting up and grabbing another beer. You examine the sticky note and your jaw drops into a long ‘O’ shape. “He gave me his number!?” You squeal and almost jump from your seat, knocking your knees against Sunghoon’s.

“God, how are you so hyper after waking up.” He says it more as a statement than a question and you just give him a sarcastic smile before turning towards Jake instead. “Where did he leave it? Because I know he wouldn’t just leave it on the table for anyone to see.” You narrow your eyes at Jake in suspicion and he quickly darts his eyes away nervously.

“Jake.” You say his name sternly and you notice how he tenses and takes another sip of beer. “Jake were you snooping again?” You barely get your sentence out as he’s already defending himself. “I wasn’t I swear! When he left I went in your room to check on you and make sure you were okay and…clothed.”

Your face morphs into a confused disgust, “Pervert! Why would you care if I had clothes on or not!?” His mouth opens in shock as he shakes his head rapidly. “God, Y/N don’t make me say it!” He’s suddenly covering his face to hide his embarrassment while you’re sent into deeper confusion. “Say what!?” You’re standing up and hovering over the table, irritated at how difficult Jake is being.

“I wanted to make sure he didn’t just up and leave after fucking you! I wanted to make sure you actually had proper aftercare and he didn’t just cum and go!” Jake is slamming his hands on the table and you hear Sunghoon snicker beside you at the pun Jake may or may not have realized he used.

“What? Why would he do that?” You’re lowering your voice this time and it cracks softly while you speak. Jake sighs and taps his fingertips against the glass of his beer bottle. “Because every time you’re actually interested in a guy-more than just hookup, you’re left hurt when they leave not wanting more.” He’s making eye contact with you now and you slowly sit back down.

“Well” you start speaking but your voice comes out soft and weary. “How do you know that I want more than a hookup with him?” You immediately regret asking, knowing well that the boys can see right through you. “You wouldn’t just give a random hookup a blowjob and not expect anything in return.” Jake is giving you a “duh” face and you just gasp in shock.

“He told you!?” You’re perking up in your seat and you see Sunghoon cover his ears when you yell. “Are you never not yelling?” Sunghoon is wincing at his now ringing ears and you just mumble an apology before turning your attention back to Jake. “More like he forced the poor guy to confess.” Jay is setting the fresh ramen on the table and you roll your eyes at his response.

“Don’t tell me you threatened him.” Jake shakes his head with an offended look on his face. “Of course not! I was going to but I could see how shy he looked. He just told me you sucked him off and took a nap after.” Jake stuffs his mouth with food like a caveman after speaking, giving you time to reflect on their interaction.

“Why did you come check on me if he told you we didn’t have sex?” It’s your turn to stuff your face and Jake wipes his mouth with the back of his hand like a toddler. “You know I don’t quite trust him yet. Just had to make sure he wasn’t lying.” He gives you soft, caring eyes and you feel your heart warm at the sense of comfort. “Thank you, Jake.” You smile at him but it drops he shakes his head.

“Wasn’t just me.” He nods his head towards Sunghoon and Jay who pause suddenly. “They kept him from leaving while I checked on you.” The other two boys nod and first bump over the bowls of ramen. “I know you guys are caring and brotherly like, but he probably thought he was going to die.” You’re giggling at the thought of a wide-eyed Heeseung standing stiff against your wall with your two scariest looking friends staring him down.

Sunghoon laughs, almost choking on his ramen while Jay slides him a bottle of water to help soothe his throat. “He did! It was hilarious but I gave him a nice pat on the shoulder and he eased up a bit.” Sunghoon was speaking in between coughs and you rub his back, encouraging him to not irritate his burning throat more.

“Don’t worry about his phone number, I already called it while Jake was checking on you and his phone buzzed in his pocket so we know it’s not a fake pitty number.” Jay watches for your reaction and when speaks again. “So now I have his number in case of an emergency.” He teases and you slump in your seat with a heavy sigh.

“Geez, okay dad.” You tease him back and he grabs the sticky note, sliding it over and sticking it onto the table in front of you. “Now text him.”

✶

When you texted Heeseung and he responded right away, you weren’t quite expecting to stay up all night talking to him. You had asked him to call you around 1am and you giggled at how the read symbol stayed under your message for a solid minute until he was calling you. Even over the phone he would stutter when you ask him a slightly suggestive question or subtly flirt with him.

You had spent hours sending each other old photos from when you were younger, some even from the yearbook as you pointed out the different clubs and sports teams you were in. You laughed together when you pointed out how different you had both become, realize how long it has been since you had first met Heeseung. You had sent him pictures from your social media, bragging about the fun trips you took or the friends you had made.

You sat with a soft smile on your face when you sent him a picture of your three friends posing with bright smiles and bright silver hair. You had explained to him that during the past summer, you and your friends weren’t able to leave the city like usual so you all decided to dye your hair silver for fun.

Despite not seeing anyone over the summer, Heeseung can recall seeing your friend group return back to school with faded dirty blonde hair. You brag about how well you did for box dye, going on about how all four of you looked so sexy and that you think Jake’s looked the coolest because he kept the tips of his hair black. Heeseung gets quiet on the other line and you’d think he had fallen asleep if it weren’t for him suddenly clearing his throat and changing the topic, something about his older brother graduating a high ranking university soon.

When you both got quiet after a while and heard the soft snores coming from his side of the call, you whispered a goodnight to him and had a mental debate with yourself to decide whether or not you should hang up. You decided against the idea and fell asleep to the sound of Heeseung’s breathing.

You woke up to find that Heeseung ended the call not long after you fell asleep, but when you read his good morning text your heart warmed.

“‘Good morning beautiful, I’m sorry I hung up early last night, my phone died haha -sweating emoji- can’t wait to see you in class’.” A blinding smile was plastered on your face while you read the text out loud. You met up with your three friends to walk to class, texting the groupchat in all capital letters that you had something important to show them.

“Cringe.” Sunghoon scrunched his face in disgust, soon dropping it into a pout after you pinch him harshly. “It’s okay Hoonie I know you’re just jealous.” You tease, wrapping your hands around his arm and pulling him against you. “Stop it Y/N! You’re scaring the hoes.” Sunghoon pushed you off of him and into Jay who catches you with an arm around your waist.

“What hoes, Hoon? You lost your virginity last year and haven’t been with a girl since.” Jake is the one to tease this time, bringing up a funny memory for your friend group. “Oh my God that’s right! Were you that bad in bed that not one girl in this school wants to fuck you?” You giggle at your continuous attacks on your friend as he just gives an offended glare, opening up his mouth to speak before he’s interrupted.

“I think it’s because he has some slut clinging onto him and two other guys 24/7.” The four of you stop walking and turn to the closest bench, finding a group of girls with evil smirks resting on their too-perfect faces.

“What did you just say?” You harshly rip Jay’s arm off of your waist and make your way up to the friend group, your own following behind you. “Oh, did I hit a nerve?” The same girl fake pouts at you while her minions giggle to themselves and you clench your fists at the sneakiness lingering in her voice. “No but I’m about to hit you in the fucking face-“ You’re cut off by Jay who is covering you mouth with his hand and pulling you backwards towards your friends.

“Okayyy! I’m going to stop you right there, thank you.” Jay announces loudly, anyone who wasn’t aware of the situation before was definitely aware now with the amount of heads that turned in your direction. With a quick turn and an arm over your shoulder, you’re guided away from the group of girls who watch you leave with the same smirks that haven’t left their lips.

“Jay you’re embarrassing me.” You’re trying to shove Jay’s heavy arm off of you, which only results in you being tugged closer towards his body. “Oh, I’m the one embarrassing you?” He shoots you a disbelieving expression and then shakes his head. “You were about to rip her eyelashes off!” Jay pokes you in the temple as a sign of playfulnesses, showing you that he’s not actually that mad at you.

“Yeah I would’ve ripped out her falsies and then her real ones.” You finally wiggle out of Jay’s reach and stand on the opposite side of Jake, using his body as a barrier. Jake now looks at you and covers one of his eyes with his hand, muttering an ‘ouch’ and you just nod as if you were telling him that’s exactly why that was your chosen threat.

“Alright relax, I don’t think Heeseung would want his girl getting into fights over some rumors.” Sunghoon shoots you a somewhat reassuring glance along with his words. You just sigh and can’t help but wonder if they’re actually more than just rumors. “Speak of the devil.” Jake mumbles just loud enough for your group to hear as you open the door to your music lecture.

All four of you stop in your tracks at the sight of a bright sliver head of hair sitting at the seat next to your own. “Is that…” Sunghoon trails off in awe as Jake’s jaw goes slack “No way.” His thick accented voice dropping to an almost inaudible whisper. “Heeseung?” You walk ahead of the group, laying a hand on Heeseung’s shoulder to catch his attention.

The boy turns and his eyes light up immediately at the sight of you. “Your hair…” you trail off as you reach up to run a hand through his hair. “Do you…do you like it?” You can hear the neediness for reassurance in his voice, like he only cared about what you think. “Yeah” you breathe out as if you were scared to express your true feelings, “You look sexy.”

His ears visibly darken to a deep red color, taken aback at your forwardness. “Damn right he does!” You hear Jake hype up Heeseung as he offers a fist bump before sitting in his seat next to you.

Throughout the lecture, everything your professor said went in one ear and out the other while your main focus was Heeseung. The way his new hair complimented his complexion perfectly was almost inhumane, and you felt the overwhelming urge to kiss him. Of course, you can’t just climb onto his lap and hold him down while you eat his face in the middle of class, so you opt to do what you do best with Heeseung; make him nervous.

After befriending and become more than just friends with the boy, you’ve learned just how sensitive he is everywhere. Any time you rest a hand even on his knee or slightly brush an arm against his, he stiffens and looks down expectantly. So, with the desire to feel something, anything, you softly place your hand on his thigh and lightly tap your fingers. Through your peripheral vision can see Heeseung peering down at you through his own, and you grow impatient with his lack of common response.

As you decide to trail your hand up his thigh, he suddenly grips your wrist almost painfully tight just before you reach the crotch of his pants. You look up annoyed at your failed attempt of teasing him and lock eyes as he shakes his head, as if he’s warning you, even daring you to try again. Placing your hand back in your own lap, he focuses back on the lecture and tries not to react to the way you’re suddenly shifting in your chair.

“Is it just me or is it a bit hot in here guys?” You whisper to your surrounding friends as you fan yourself as an attempt to make your question sound genuine. Sunghoon leans over the table and gives you a stern look before kissing his teeth and scolding you, “I told you that sweater was too thick for this heat! But no! You never listen to me!”. He’s whining in an aggressive whisper but you ignore him and grab the hem of your knitted sweater and bring it over your head.

As your thin black, very cropped tank top is now visible, you can’t help but smirk at Heeseung’s wandering eyes. You notice the way his prominent Adam’s Apple bobs when he swallows harshly, and the way he quickly directs his eyes away when you catch him staring down the area of your back.

“What’s wrong, Hee? You getting hot too?” You lean toward him on your desk, crossing your arms under your chest as the pressure enhances your cleavage. “Just a bit.” He states blankly, keeping his eyes staring straight towards the front of the room. You watch as his eyes flick down towards the watch on his wrist but before you can also check the time, he’s grabbing his backpack.

Just as you’re about to ask where he’s going, the bell rings and he shoots up from his seat. He collects his laptop and notebook quickly, and you wonder if you maybe pushed him too far if he’s that eager to get away from you. He catches you off guard as he suddenly grabs your backpack, also putting your things away before grabbing your hand and pulling you out of the class before your friends could follow.

✶

After becoming closer to Heeseung both emotionally and sexually, you were 99% sure that you could predict his every move. From the way he stiffens to your small touches or trails his eyes from your own down to your lips every time you speak, nothing he does ever surprises you anymore.

However, now that he finally snapped and pulled you into a room not far from your lecture, you’re suddenly questioning the soft, shy, submissive nature that you may have mistaken him for.

Pulling you into the indoor hallway behind him, you have no time to adjust as he’s pulling you into another room and you’re suddenly pressed against the closed door. Everything happens so fast, you’re almost unable to register the feeling of his lips attacking your neck, licking and sucking everywhere so that no area is left dry.

In fear of his sudden change in demeanor, you place your palms on his chest and push him off of you, just enough to look him in the eyes. “Heeseung, what are you doing?” You’re whispering harshly, afraid that anyone passing by in the hallway may hear.

“What am I doing?” He takes a small step closer but it’s still enough to have the tips of your shoes now touching his. “What are you doing? Touching me in class like that? Undressing yourself like that?” Your lip quirks up, realizing that your earlier teasing was working. “I told you, it was getting hot in there.” You look up at him innocently, softly running a hand through his freshly dyed hair.

“And I couldn’t help myself. Couldn’t keep my hands off of you after seeing this.” You harshly tug on his hair on the last word and he lets out a whimper, but he’s quick to keep himself from falling back into the same headspace. Unsatisfied with his reaction, you pull his hair harder and this time he bends down to crash his lips against yours.

He spins you around, walking you across the room until the back of your knees hit something and he pushes you down onto what you realize is a couch. He takes his backpack off of his back and sets it on the chair in front of the sound-mixing board, while you lay comfortable on the couch. Laying sideways on the furniture puts you in the perfect position to grab onto Heeseung’s belt, pulling him on top of you to quickly reconnect your lips.

Heeseung wastes no time, putting one hand on your waist and the other by your head to hold himself up as he pins you into the sofa. Using his advantage of being on top, he keeps you pinned onto the cushions as he rolls his hips into yours, groaning at the feeling of his hard-on making contact with your core. You struggle to kiss him back as your mouth parts at the new feeling, and he takes this opportunity to easily slide his tongue into your mouth, explore everywhere with his wet muscle.

You moan loudly as he keeps rolling his hips into you, and he seems to realize that you had both forgotten you’re in a public area. Without pulling away, he grabs onto your thighs and lifts you up, walking further into the room and up to another door next to the mixing board. One of his hands leaves your thighs and you hear a few clicking noises but before you can open your eyes to check what he’s doing, he’s opening opening the door and walking you inside of the small booth.

Pulling the chair by the microphone closer to you, he sets you down onto it and goes back to close the door. “This room is soundproof.” He walks back to you and drops to his knees, gripping your thighs and forcing them open before he settles between them. “Means you can be as loud as you want.” He’s rubbing his palms on your thighs the same way you did to him, then moves his hands to the button of your jeans.

“Can I?” He only speaks two words but you nod your head almost embarrassingly fast, lifting your hips so he can pull your pants down with ease. You recently started wondering how Heeseung would react to seeing you in your underwear, but nothing could prepare you for the way he grips your hips, pulling you almost all the way out of your seat. He grabs both of your ankles, pulling your legs to rest over his shoulders and you have to contain the squeal you want to let out as he bites down onto one of your thighs.

Licking over the bite mark, his hand comes up to slap the side of your ass as punishment. “I told you already, pretty.” He switches to the other thigh, biting down again and leaving a matching bite mark before soothing the pain with his tongue for the second time today. “You can be loud.” With his repeated permission, you whine at the feeling of him pressing a soft kiss to your clit through your underwear.

“Please Hee, I need it.” You grind your hips forward into nothing but air and grip the sides of the chair tight. “Yeah? Want me to eat this pretty pussy?” His hot breath fans over your covered cunt as he speaks, and you gasp when he’s shoving his face further, inhaling your sweet scent.

You watch as he licks a long stripe up your slit, still covered by your panties before he pulls them to the side frustratingly slow. Your whines turn into moans as he licks under stripe, the time without the thin panties in the way. He wastes no time, diving into your core and licking, sucking, slurping everywhere and everything.

Your thighs shake and clench around his head and he moans into your core as you reach with one hand to grab his hair. The same hair that caused this mess, the same hair that you coincidentally showed him an inspiring picture of the night before. You couldn’t think too deeply about it as one of his hands is reaching up to your tank top, pulling the front down along with the cups of your bra.

You throw your head back as the cold air hits your nipples, but is soon replaced by Heeseung’s warm and wet mouth. You look back down to see his lips attached to one of your sensitive buds while his eyes are wide and expecting as he looks up at you. Just the image of the doe-eyed boy you always knew makes another whine escape from your throat.

Heeseung is doing great as his tongue plays with your nipple and his fingers rub circles on your clit, but you need more. “Hee” you whimper and he blinks in response. “Use your fingers, baby. Inside me—please.” You roll your hips forward while Heeseung’s hand stops the previous movements and you come to the realization that he hasn’t actually done this before.

Lifting your hand that isn’t in his hair, you grab his wrist and guide him, rubbing his fingers over your slick before letting him push one into you. Even just one finger was enough to make your back arch, his large hands reaching places your own couldn’t. He experimentally curls his finger, grinning at the way your eyebrows furrow and your mouth goes slack. He continues his movements for a few seconds, then adds a second finger and you loose all ability to think.

With your back arching off the chair and your head falling back, Heeseung takes this as a sign to thrust and curl his fingers faster, attaching his lips back to your hard nipple while your own hand releases his wrist to play with the other sensitive bud. Heeseung’s lips leave your nipple to kiss down your body, making his way back to your cunt, licking and sucking almost painfully on your clit, all while speeding up the pace of his fingers inside of you.

His new rough touches send you over the edge, gripping the back of his head tightly, keeping it pressed against you while you grind yourself on his wet tongue. The sight of him sitting between your legs is so overwhelming, causing a knot to form in your lower belly. With his fingers pumping inside of you, mouth open with his pretty pink tongue sticking out for you to use for your own pleasure, and his somehow still innocent looking eyes watching your face as you lose yourself, you feel yourself becoming lightheaded as you come undone.

As soon as you think you’re having a regular orgasm, Heeseung wraps his lips around your clit again, sucking harshly. That’s all it took for you to squeeze your eyes shut, a loud moan of Heeseung’s name escaping your throat as you feel your lower half become warm and wet while Heeseung continues sucking and plunging his fingers in and out of you.

The overwhelming feeling doesn’t stop or even weaken and you open your eyes and look down, now realizing you’re squirting for the first time in your life. Watching as your juices seem to gush out of you, you can’t take your eyes off of Heeseung’s now soaking wet face. His eyes are glossy and shining, while his nose, cheeks, and chin are glistening from your squirt as he finally pulls away once you’ve come down from your high.

“Wow…” Heeseung seems dazed as he can’t take his eyes off of your leaking hole. You grab his chin with your fingers, leading him up to your face to capture his wet lips into a sloppy kiss, tasting yourself on his tongue. “I’ve never squirted before, Hee.” You pull back to wipe his sticky wet cheeks and you swear you feel them heat up from your words.

“Guess we both had firsts today.” He pecks your lips and smiles at you and your heart aches at the proud look on his face. Feeling the urge to reassure him, you pull him into a hug and hover your lips by his ear. “M’ so proud of you, baby. Did so good for me.” He whines at your compliment, pulling away from the hug to bring you back into a bruising kiss.

✶

“So you’re telling me” Jake pokes a finger into your arm before before pointing it back towards himself, “That when Heeseung took you to the studio room, you just talked?” Jake shoves a fry into his mouth and sends you a disbelieving look when you simply nod your head. “Bullshit.” Jay is speaking from across from you after taking a giant bite out of his burger.

You roll your eyes when you catch a glimpse of his chewed up food and kick his leg under the table, “You’re disgusting.” Jay returns your kick causing a sharp pain in your shin and you mumble curses at him while rubbing the sore spot. Jay then sends a few verbal hits towards you after he finishes chewing his bite, “You’re one to talk! I’m starting to think you have a exhibitionism kink with how often you and your boyfriend get it on in public.”

You grab your cup and bite your straw in annoyance, avoiding eye contact as you’re ashamed your friend might be right. “First of all, he’s not my boyfriend, and second of all, we’re not ‘getting it on’ in public, I just sucked him off that one time at home and he only returned the favor in the studio room.” You quickly realize your mistake when Jake is slamming a heavy palm on the table next to you and practically screeching in your ear.

“Ha! I knew it! There’s no way your corruptive ass is able to hold a private conversation with a shy guy like Heeseung without pouncing on him!” On the other side of the table, Jay fist bumps Jake while Sunghoon is choking on his milkshake, eyes tearing up as it comes out of his nose. You scrunch your face up in disgust while handing a few napkins over to your poor friend.

“Whatever guys, so what if I’m sexually active with him? It’s not like he’s the first guy I’ve been with.” You once again bite down on the flimsy plastic of your straw, staring down at your fingers that are tapping on the bright red coloring of the old burger joint’s table.

Jay points a finger up in a “matter of fact” manner as he tilts his head in a playful way. “You know he’s the first guy you’ve been with that actually has a massive crush on you though. Just saying, obsession is not a joke and you know how dangerous some guys could be when they’re crazy about a girl.”

Jay’s word make you rethink your whole relationship with Heeseung, realizing that most of the guys you’ve been with were just casual hookups or friends with benefits situations. The types of relationships that took mutual agreements and setting boundaries in order to keep until eventually one of you got bored with the other. With Heeseung, you hadn’t discussed those boundaries and just assumed that’s what he had wanted. Now, with Jay shooting you a knowing look, you realize you may have fucked up.

“Well…what if he doesn’t want a relationship? I could just be a booty call to him.” You shrug and try to ignore the way Sunghoon and Jake both start rambling about how naive and oblivious you seem to be. “Y/N, I love you and all, but I genuinely can’t tell if you’re being a dumb bitch or being in denial.” Sunghoon pats your hand in a comforting way while the other two boys nod their heads in agreement. “Yeah you’ve seen how he looks at you! No man looks at his booty call with heart eyes.” Jake pokes your temple and you swat his hand away.

“He could also just be looking at me with ‘fuck me’ eyes.” You retort what you think is a reasonable answer, until Jay is speaking from across from you again. “But it’s Heeseung, I don’t think he’s even held a girl’s hand before. ‘Fuck me’ eyes could be a big deal to him if he finds sex more than just casual. He’s not like you and you know that.” Sunghoon wipes his fake tears and pats Jay on the back like a proud father, “I think that’s the smartest thing I’ve ever heard come out of your mouth.”

Jay rolls his eyes and takes the last bite of his burger, uncomfortable with his friend who is now pinching his cheeks. Next to you, Jake places his now empty cup down and turns to you. His eyes are burning holes into your face as you avoid eye contact, not wanting to continue the discussion any longer. “I know you’re internally freaking out right now.” Jake nudges your shoulder with his own, “How about you sleep on it and maybe talk to Heeseung about it tomorrow?”

He gives you his best supportive look and you feel grateful that at least one of your friends is actually trying to be helpful. You slowly nod your head, lost in your thoughts of Heeseung and you can’t help but feel nervous about having such a serious conversation with him.

“Alright!” Jay claps his hands and scares you out of your thoughts. “Let’s hit the road!” He quickly stands up from the table and Sunghoon squeezes out of the booth following him with a snort, “Okay what are you, a dad?” Your smile at Sunghoon’s comment quickly turns into a frown of disgust as Jay corrects, “Actually, it’s dad-dy, thank you very much.”

As Sunghoon pushes the doors of the restaurant wide open mimicking a grand exit, all four of you stop in your tracks as a very tall, silver headed and doe eyed boy is also stopping. “Heeseung? What are you doing here?” You curse yourself for asking such a stupid question, but you’re caught off guard by the boy’s perky answer. “Oh! I um- I was just here to pick up my cousin. He needed a ride home.” He’s looking at the floor and kicking the small pebbles, rolling them under his shoe.

Your mouth makes an ‘o’ shape and you nod, suddenly uncomfortable with the awkward atmosphere. “What about you guys?” Heeseung also asks a stupid question and you notice the way he disappointedly shakes his head at himself. “We stayed at school a little later to work on our projects so we just decided to get dinner here before they drop me off at home.” You glance shyly at the taller boy, still in awe of how angelic he looks with his new hair.

“Oh you must be tired then! I’ll let you get home, uh, see you tomorrow?” He stutters out and you smile to yourself. “Yeah, Hee, I’ll see you tomorrow.” You walk by him and pat his arm as your friends follow behind you. “That was so painful to watch.” Sunghoon shivers, which in return gets him demoted to the back seat of the car while you steal the front.

✶

“You’re not gonna kill me are you?”

Heeseung wishes he was joking but after you sent him the infamous ‘can we talk?’ text, he couldn’t stop sweating and overthinking what you could’ve possibly wanted to talk about. “If I wanted to kill you I wouldn’t be meeting up with you under a giant tree in the middle of campus.” You giggle as you sit down on the old bench, patting the spot next to you.

As Heeseung sits down, you can’t help the small blush that heats up your cheeks at how close he decided to sit. Close enough that he’s suddenly wrapping an arm around your shoulder and tugging you to sit with your thigh pressing against his. You turn to him with wide eyes and he immediately caves into himself, snaking his arm back towards his own body.

“Sorry- I just thought maybe you’d like that but I guess I should’ve known not to…considering I can guess the reason we’re here.” He mumbles while watching his hands fidget with each other in his lap, and you feel a pang in your heart at his sudden drop in confidence. “No, Hee.” You grab his anxious hands, holding both of them in between yours, “I did want to talk to you about that, but not for the reason you think.”

He visibly perks up, eyes bright and hopeful but his teeth are still nibbling nervously on his bottom lip. “I know we kind of started off fast- with this whole thing between us…” He nods attentively as you speak, “and I know I never really asked you what we are.” Heeseung’s heart beats faster with every word you speak.

“That’s just something I’m used to- having no solid labels on relationships but I understand if that’s not what you want.” Heeseung gulps harshly as he lets you ramble, already knowing his answer to your upcoming question. “I guess what I’m trying to say is, I genuinely really like you, and if you wanna-“ Your confession is cut short by the annoying ringing of a phone, and you break eye contact with Heeseung to check who is interrupting your rant.

Of course, it’s Sunghoon screeching on the other line. “Y/N! The boys and I need help with our projects so we’re coming to you! Where are you? Under the tree? We’ll check there for you.” Before you can speak a word, Sunghoon is cutting off your argument, “But-“ “No buts! We’re on our way.”

You give Heeseung an apologetic smile that quickly falls when your friends are already walking up to you. “Do you seriously need my help? You guys have taken more music classes than me!” You stand up and dust off any dirt left on your clothes. “Well…we just missed you and wanted to work on our projects together.” Jay is wrapping an arm around Sunghoon’s shoulder and the younger groans. “I don’t know why this guy lied, we know you would’ve agreed either way.”

You roll your eyes and sling your backpack onto your shoulder, obviously annoyed at your friends who interrupted your moment with Heeseung, once again. “You’re lucky I love you guys, and I haven’t even started my project yet.” You walk away as your four friends follow behind, tripping over each others feet.

The five of you make it into the music building, making your way through the indoor hallway and decide to work in one of the recording studios. You shyly glance at Heeseung to see him already looking at you. “What?” He leans over towards you once you sit on the studio couch and pull out your laptops. “Flashbacks?” His hand finds your thigh and you’re quick to pull it off, just in time for your other three friends to turn around and start a conversation.

“So what is the project about anyways?” Jake had obviously not been listening during the past few lectures. Jay sets his laptop down next to Jake’s, opening up his notebook which was filled with different information on music theory and genres. “Just experiment with the tools and see what comes easiest to you. Personally, I find alternative rock a fitting style for myself.”

You look over at Heeseung and find him already staring at you, something unrecognizable lingering in his eyes. “Hee?” You nudge him and brush a strand of hair off of his face. “You okay?” Your voice seems to snap him out, and he blinks rapidly before apologizing. “Was just zoning out I guess.” He starts taping away on his own laptop and you giggle at the Toy Story picture he has saved as his background.

“What about you Heeseung? Did you start yet?” Jay asks while reclining in his chair, arms stretching above his head as his shirt lifts up to show a sliver of honey skin. “Uhh, yeah I did start actually. I only have a few bars done though.” Heeseung doesn’t move his gaze from his computer screen as he chews on his bottom lip, a nervous habit you’ve picked up on.

“Play it.” Jay motions towards Heeseung, giving him an expecting look. “Alright…” Heeseung still hasn’t taken his eyes off of his screen, adjusting the volume before pressing play. A deep bass is heard with a few vocal effects added in, and you’re all nodding your heads to the rhythm when your heart drops at a sudden beat change.

Within the first ten seconds of the song, a moan of Heeseung’s name is heard loud and clear, followed by a beat signaling to lead the song into a more R&B feel. You pause, a chill crawling up your spine as you look over at Heeseung who has a proud smirk relaxed onto his face.

The song ends and he presses the space bar to pause it, quickly glancing over to the four of you to find your reactions. “So?” He relaxes back on the couch that suddenly feels too small for the two of you. “What do you guys think?” He’s overly cocky, something you have yet to get used to. “It’s really good…” Jake is speaking hesitantly while looking next to him at Sunghoon, who just nods his head in agreement. “But…what was that at the beginning?” His question makes your heart pound, knowing exactly what he’s referring to.

“What? My producer tag?” Heeseung has a causal smile on his lips. “It’s sexy isn’t it? Of course I had some help.” He places an arm around your shoulder and winks at you, but you’re quick to shove him off of you and run out of the room.

You don’t get far when you hear the studio door opening, and then the loud shut of the door echoing through the music building hallway. “What’s wrong, pretty?” Heeseung lands a hand on your shoulder, spinning you around shoving you against the wall. He places his forearm above your head, leaning in uncomfortably close. You have tears pouring down your cheeks but your face is stone cold.

“Isn’t this what you wanted?” He leans in and his nose brushes against yours. One of his hands is suddenly grabbing your chin, turning your face so his nose is nudging your cheek bone instead. You squeeze your eyes shut and feel his lips gently kiss your jaw. Heeseung then sticks his tongue out, licking a long stripe from your jaw to your eye, collecting the freshly fallen tear that had collected on your cheek.

The sensation of his warm, wet muscle dragging along your face makes your stomach turn in both disgust and something you’d be too ashamed to admit. “You wanted to be mine, no?” He brings your face back to look at him and presses a soft kiss to your quivering bottom lip. “Wanted everyone to know you’re mine?” His words make heat pool in your lower stomach and you subconsciously close your legs tight, rubbing your thighs together softly.

“Look at you.” He coos, running a hand through your hair. “You like this, hm? So dirty.” His words make you nod instinctively and he smiles at how easily you fold for him. “Why don’t we get back in there, don’t want to worry your boys.” You nod instinctively again, bringing a hand up to wipe your face and walk away as Heeseung follows behind.

You enter the room hesitantly, cheeks burning from embarrassment as your friends’ eyes are filled with worry. You avoid eye contact when sitting back down, immediately burning holes into the screen of your laptop so you didn’t have to face the awkward atmosphere. Heeseung sits next to you and places a hand on your thigh, fingers gently tapping to a random rhythm.

You let out a shaky breath and try to change the subject, hoping to get everyone’s eyes off of you. “Who wants to play theirs next?”

✶

You couldn’t shake the embarrassment you felt for the rest of the day. Hanging out with your friends never felt so humiliating, even after you had gotten home and relaxed in bed, you couldn’t help the tears from falling. Yet, you weren’t finding yourself angry at Heeseung. Just angry at how embarrassed you had felt afterwards.

Of course, with such a close friend group there wasn’t such thing of hiding secretes or being “too extreme”. Your friends were your everything and had been there with you throughout all of your relationships, hearing every single detail from your side.

However, having your sexuality exposed by someone else felt humiliating and destructive. You knew Heeseung hadn’t necessarily meant to humiliate you in front of your friends, despite not knowing the actual reason for him using such a private moment in such a light manner.

No matter how embarrassed you felt, you couldn’t bring yourself to be upset at him. Even after you cried yourself to sleep that night, and even after you had spent the whole next day sulking in bed. Eventually your friends were sick of pitying you and decided to plan a movie night at your apartment; showing up with snacks and stacks of movies, grabbing you by the ankles and dragging you out of bed.

As you sat on the couch while your friends argued over which movie to watch first, you couldn’t help but zone out with your head flooding with thoughts of Heeseung. As if your brains Bluetooth connected, Jake leaned over to comfort you, something you’d never get tired of.

“I know you’re thinking about him.” He sends you a firm glance, communicating that you have no reason in lying. “Do you miss him?” You nod insecurely at his question, ashamed to admit it. “Why don’t you invite him? I know we’re doing this to get your mind off of him but maybe it’ll help if you just talk to him.” Jake rubs your back gently and you take a deep breath, releasing it as you whisper in agreement.

Now, you’re sat with Heeseung on your bed while your friends watch horror movies and eat the snacks they brought for you. “I don’t want them to interrupt us again so I’m just gonna get straight to the point.” You glance at Heeseung before looking away towards a poster on your wall. “I like you a lot, Hee. And I know you feel the same, and I know you want us to be exclusive. So, I think we have to set some boundaries and know exactly what we want in a relationship if you really want to be with me.” Heeseung nods along to everything you say, and you start listing off the expectations you have for him as he does the same.

You haven’t realized how much time had passed while talking to Heeseung until you notice the silence coming from downstairs, and you peek your head out of your door to hear three different sets of snores coming from your friends. You sit back on your bed and take note of how comfortable Heeseung looks next to you.

Of course, this isn’t the first time you had Heeseung in your room sitting on your bed. However, it was the first time you had gone this long with him on your bed without lunging at him. That didn’t last long though as you’re suddenly climbing onto his lap, pressing your lips harshly against his.

“Missed you so much.” You’re mumbling against his lips and he’s pulling back to laugh at you. “It’s only been like two days, you’re that obsessed with me?” His teasing makes you blush and duck your head into his neck. “You’ve literally liked me since high school and I’m the one obsessed with you?” You’re arguing back and now Heeseung is the one blushing.

Instead of responding, he connects your lips and flips over, laying you softly against the bed. Your tongue invades his mouth and he welcomes it eagerly, whining into the kiss as he sucks on your bottom lip. “For not having much experience you’re so good at kissing, Hee.” You compliment him and notice the way his eyes glimmer with confidence.

“Better than Jake?” His question catches you off guard and you’re confused until you realize what he’s referencing. “What- how do you know about that?” You’re sitting up now, slowly scooting away from Heeseung. “Well, it wasn’t exactly like you guys were hiding in a private area.” His hand finds your cheek and caresses it, thumb playing with your bottom lip.

You sit still in shock, not realizing that Heeseung had known one of your most private secrets for so long. “I mean, behind the school? You know so many kids go back there to do God knows what, I just happened to be back there and seen you guys.” As he speaks, your fingers are playing with your bed sheet nervously, twisting the fabric until your fingertips turn white.

“Do you know how upset I was?” He was puling you back under him by your waist, kissing you harshly with no time to react. “To see him get what I wanted? To see him touch what’s mine.” You’re looking up at him in pure shock, not realizing how badly he had wanted you for so long.

“That was just a one time thing- you know that!” You’re quick to defend yourself but Heeseung just caresses your cheek and smiles. “I know baby, I know you only want me now.” You nod against his lips as he kisses you again, before he pulls away for the nth time. “Wont let anyone else have you. You’re mine now.” One hand finds your throat and gently squeezes as the other still cups your cheek, feeling the way your jaw moves while your tongue laps against his.

Releasing your lips from his own, he kisses your from your chin down to your jaw and neck, gently sucking the warm skin before making his way to your collarbone. His hands travel up your sides, squeezing the flesh of your waist comfortingly and you ease into his touch.

“Heeseung…” you whine as he nips at the skin covering your collarbone, leaving small barely-visible teeth marks. “Heeseung, I need you.” He smiles against your neck, inhaling your addicting natural scent. Your hands grab his hips, pulling him closer as you shift your own upwards, chasing the friction of your bodies together.

He takes this opportunity to grind his hips down, immediately groaning at the feeling of your core against him. Your hands slide up his back and into his hair, pulling him down to kiss you again. As your lips connect, you’re caught in a mess of tongue sucking and teeth clashing while you amateurishly grind your lower halves together.

You pull away and feel yourself grow more aroused at the sight of Heeseung’s chin shining from the mix of your saliva, assuming yours also looks the same. “Need you now.” He nods and lifts your shirt up your chest and over your head, eyes widening at your lack of bra. “Not the first time you’ve seen them, Hee.” You remind him but you still feel slightly prideful that your body hasn’t become any less admirable to him.

He sucks and bites at the skin of your chest, one hand softly rolling your nipple in his fingers while his warm mouth finds the other. Your back arches off of the bed, pushing your body impossibly closer to Heeseung’s and he groans when you pull his hair harshly. “You like that?” You pull his hair again and he huffs a shaky breath onto your skin. “You like when it hurts?” He grinds his hips down in response, laying his cheek flat on your chest.

“No matter how cute you think it is, I jdon’t want to cum in my pants like a virgin.” Despite his words, he’s still grinding into you almost painfully rough. “But you are a virgin.” You cup his face and bring his face to look you in the eyes. “Not for much longer…I hope.” His eyes are sparkling and hopeful and you can’t help but place a soft kiss on the tip of his nose. “It’ll be much longer if you don’t undress me right now.”

His hands move quickly as he rushes to tug your pajama pants down, only stopping for a moment to admire your cute panties before he’s pulling them down too. He notices the way you’re shyly grabbing a small blanket to cover yourself and sends you a worried look, only for you to point back at him. “You’re still fully clothed.” You giggle and push him away. “You haven’t even taken your socks off!” You tease him and he shakes his head before swiftly pulling his shirt over his head.

You watch in awe as he undresses, admiring his naked body for the first time. As you pull the blanket away from your own body, you assume he’s doing the same when you catch him almost drooling over you. With a beckoning of your hand, he’s quickly hovering over you again, this time with two fingers between your legs.

“Have to prep you, baby. Don’t want to hurt you too bad.” You can’t even respond as he slides a thick finger into you, curling it upwards while his thumb rubs circles in your clit. “More.” You’re quiet but Heeseung has always been good at listening to you, and he pulls his finger out slowly just to push it back in with a second one. You can’t help your hips from grinding against his palm as he has two fingers knuckle deep inside of you.

You grab his wrist and he looks at you in worry, just to be met with low, lust-filled eyes. “Cant wait any longer.” Your voice is seductive and Heeseung feels his heart hammering against his chest. “Fuck, okay.” He adjusts himself, ready to push into you until he’s stopping abruptly. “Condom. I don’t have a condom.” He sounds panicked, secretly worried that finally getting to have you will have to be postponed.

To his luck, you just shake your head and reach for his neck, pulling his lips down to yours. “Don’t need one. I’m taking one of your firsts today so I want you to take one of mine.” Heeseung’s feels his heart grow as he’s honored to be the first guy you take raw, and he will make sure that he’s also the last.

Lining up to your entrance again, he slides his tip against your folds a few times, coating his length in your slick that is now pooling onto your bed. He slowly pushes in, head falling forward to rest in your neck as the overwhelming squeeze of your walls sucks him in. “F-fuck.” He curse breathily and you can’t help but moan at how arousing just hearing his voice is.

He’s bottoms out fully and your back arches up, feeling him deep enough to know your cervix could end up bruised. He wraps an arm around your waist to keep your back lifted off of the bed as he slowly pulls out and then slides back in. Your eyes roll back, unable to form a single thought when he starts finding a solid pace, fucking into you gently.

“Harder.” You moan through the word and watch the way he lifts off of you, grabbing your hips and pinning you to the bed. As if something in him switched, he’s keeping you pinned as his hips snap almost painfully fast, hitting the most sensitive spots inside of you with each thrust.

“Oh-fuck, Heeseung!” You’re sure the three boys downstairs have been woken from their deep slumber by now with how loud you’re moaning and the sounds of skin slapping. “Fuck I’m so close already, I’m sorry.” Heeseung sounds pathetic as he whines into your neck.

One hand is digging your fingernails into his broad back as the other guides his face towards yours. You kiss him once before sticking your tongue out and looking him deep in the eyes. He’s unsure of what you’re doing before a lightbulb goes off in his brain. Wrapping a hand around your neck, he squeezes harshly as he lets his spit glide from his lips into your mouth, then connects your lips to his before you could swallow.

The disgusting amount of saliva in your mouth allows your tongues to glide together easily and Heeseung moans loudly at the feeling. “God-I think I’m gonna cum.” Just as the shaky words leave his mouth, you feel a tight knot form inside of you and hearing him sound so fucked out only made you crash over the edge. His thrusts are messy and his eyes are squeezing shut, hoping to last a little longer for you.

“Come on baby, cum with me, need it so bad please-.” You’re barely able to get the words out before you’re wrapping your arms around Heeseung’s neck and rocking your hips, cumming around him with a scream-like whine as your juices are squirting out of you. “Oh fuck-fuck!” Heeseung is groaning between clenched teeth, jaw tight as he struggles to hold back whimpers and moans but doesn’t last long when you’re trapping his bottom lip between your teeth.

He lets out the most pathetic, high pitched moan from his throat as he feels you suck on his lip while your cunt does the same to his cock still burried inside of you. He feels like he can’t stop cumming, spurts after spurts of warm liquid filling you up to the point where he’s forced to pull out of you.

As he does that, he watches the way your mixed liquids seep out of you, staining your bedsheets and thighs. You notice the way his whole abdomen up to his chest is glistening, feeling proud that he was able to make you squirt again but this time without his mouth.

He plops down next you and pulls you to lay your head on his chest. “I’ll clean you up right now, pretty. Just lay here for a bit.” You have never felt this happy after such an intimate moment, grateful that life had lead you to such a sweet and caring boy. You lay there for a few minutes until Heeseung throws his sweats on and finds a towel to clean you with, wetting it with warm water before wiping you up gently.

“Why are you the one doing this? I just took your virginity, you should be the one getting princess treatment.” You’re only half joking but Heeseung doesn’t care, kissing your forehead and removing the dirty sheets off of your bed and instead throwing together some random extra blankets he found. He cuddles up next to you, pulling your body so close to his that you think you can hear his heartbeats. “Doesn’t matter the situation, I’ll always take care of my girl.”

✶

Heeseung is a great boyfriend, even if sometimes he can be overly confident and grope you in public or wouldn’t stop bragging to your friends about how perfect you are, resulting in your cheeks burning red and hot to the touch. You’ve noticed the way he get protective over you even with your own friends; sitting between you and Jake or even eating all of the ramen before Sunghoon comes over just out of spite.

Even after two weeks of being official, having Heeseung still doesn’t feel real. Maybe it’s the fact that you’ve never been treated this well in a relationship, or maybe it’s the fact that you’ve never had someone be this in love with you. So in love that he threatens to bite the hand of many who even looks your way.

So, when Heeseung finds himself back at another party, mixing up a concoction of random liquids, he barely notices the way his red solo cup is reaching it’s limit. Too focused on the way a way-too-friendly guy has been hitting on you all night, he doesn’t even care about the amount of alcoholic beverages he’s filling his cup with.

Sometimes he feels embarrassed by how badly he wants you, and now that he has you, he doesn’t know how to handle his jealousy. That’s why when the guy brushes a strand of hair out of your face, Heeseung takes the wrong road and decides he’s done being the pathetic and needy boyfriend you’re used to.

While you’re sitting on the disgusting frat couch with suspicious stains on the cushions, you can’t help but worry that Heeseung is taking too long to get another drink. Your other three friends are somewhere else, off getting shit faced drunk while you’re left alone to protect yourself from this man who has been following you around all night.

You noticed the way he would back off when you’re with Heeseung, but as soon as your boyfriend is a few feet away, you’re being flirted with and touched in uncomfortable ways. Now that Heeseung has been gone for a few long minutes, your struggling to fight off the man’s wandering hands that trail from your shoulder to your lower back, wincing when his hand doesn’t move even after you tug on his wrist.

He just laughs, pointing to the corner of a room and whispers uncomfortably close to your ear. “That’s your man?” You follow his finger, heart dropping when you watch the way Heeseung is towering over a small, almost too-perfect girl. The same girl who had the nerve to call you a slut in the middle of campus.

You don’t miss the way she looks over her shoulder, smirking when she catches you staring. She turns back to Heeseung with a pretty smile, reaching up to trail her fingertips across his arm and you feel your heart crumble.

You reach your breaking point, shoving the clingy man off of you so hard he stumbles against the stairs, landing hard on his ass. You don’t even glance back at him as you make your way around the house, eventually finding all three of your friends swimming in the backyard pool with their jeans and white shirts now soaking.

You hurry to them, explaining that you don’t feel well and that you need to go home. “Are you okay? Where’s Heeseung?” Your boyfriend’s name coming out of Sunghoon’s mouth was enough for you to break down, covering your face with your hand as tears spill from your eyes. “What the fuck happened, Y/N? What did he do?” Jay’s voice is stern and demanding but you know he’s not frustrated with you. “I’ll go find him-“ Jake is cut off when you grab his wrist, pulling him back towards your circle.

“I don’t want to see him right now, just take me home.” As if the universe is testing you, said boyfriend is walking up to your friend group with an unreadable expression before you can plan your escape. “Hey, pretty. What’s wrong?” His question infuriates you more and you find yourself rushing forward and harshly pushing his chest.

“What’s wrong with me? What’s wrong with you!?” Your voice is horse as you cry, a few strangers now looking in your direction. Heeseung take’s note of this, suddenly grabbing you by the arm and rushing inside of the house. The lights and music blur your senses, and you’re unable to tell what’s going on until your back is being pressed up against a bathroom sink.

Heeseung’s lips quickly find their way to yours, biting and sucking harshly as you continue to cry. “Stop, Heeseung. I’m not in the mood.” You shove his shoulder and he pulls away with an irritated look. “Why not? Did that guy not agree to fuck you?” His words are sharp and mean.

You gasp offendedly, a hurt expression making its way onto your face. “What the fuck are you talking about? I don’t want to fuck him!” You’re yelling again and Heeseung presses his index finger to your lips. “That’s not what it looked like when you were letting him feel you up.” Heeseung is calm and it irritates you more at how confident he’s being despite being wrong.

You feel your eyes start tearing up again, looking away from your boyfriend’s angelic face. “I wasn’t letting him.” Your voice is quiet and weak. “I couldn’t stop him and you-you weren’t there to help me. You knew he was preying on me but you still left me alone.” You can’t stop the warm tears from sliding down your cheeks.

Heeseung takes a step back, eyes now softer and habitually nibbling on his bottom lip. “Fuck, baby, I’m sorry.” He cups your face with both hands, eyes locking with yours before he brings you into a tight hug. “I was just so mad that he was trying to get at you, I wanted to make you feel the same way. Didn’t even realize how uncomfortable you were, I’m sorry.” You swear you hear him sniffle as he apologizes, squeezing your body tighter.

“It’s…it’s fine, Hee. You’re new to this relationship stuff so I’ll just have to teach you, I guess.” You sigh and run your fingers through his hair, calming the both of you down. He takes a few shaky breaths before pulling back from the hug and kissing you again, soft and sweet like he’s thanking you for being so patient.

Maybe you’ll just have to get used to him having these ups and downs. Sure, he isn’t the most confident and might be immature and reckless sometimes, but that’s all a part of learning. You want to allow him to experience these harsh moments and teach him how to overcome them. Even if it hurts you in the process, you’ll do anything to be with Heeseung and he’d do anything to be with you, because after so long, you’re finally his.

[hueseok]

can’t stop thinking about frenemy!seokjin, your fellow agent, who still thinks it’s his right to act all concerned towards you whenever you end up appearing battered and bruised.

“tell me the motherfucker’s name.”

you sighed, bringing your head back so that his fingertips would no longer touch your mouth. the sensation felt too nice and you were being too pleased with the fact that seokjin had the nerve to check on you when he heard that you arrived back at the headquarters with a bruised lip and a broken nose.

you and him were civil for the most part (despite the constant bickering and dirty looks being thrown to the other at times), so you weren’t exactly shocked to see him concerned—but what he was showcasing felt more than concern or worry, and it was giving you mixed emotions to let him carry on

“the motherfucker’s already dead,” you dryly answered, going back to what you were doing, which was changing the pieces of dirty clothing you were wearing. “do you think i’d let him get away after messing my pretty face like this?”

seokjin snorted, bringing his hand down on his lap as he looked away when you raised the hem of your top over your head. you typically wore a sports bra underneath to care about unintentionally flashing someone and that annoyed seokjin more than it should. “did you already have it checked? your nose?”

“not yet.”

“and that’s because…”

“can’t you see that i’m getting changed here?” you gestured to yourself.

the changing rooms in the headquarters were co-ed too, the reason why seokjin was able to catch up with you when you got back from your mission. indeed you didn’t go to the infirmary first like you should have—like you always forget to do honestly, seokjin thought—that he didn’t know why he bothered asking.

he didn’t reply again after you said that last retort. however it didn’t take him long enough either to say something again that made you glare at him. “you should have called me for back-up,” is what he told you.

“and why would i do that?” you asked, loudly slipping on your more comfortable shoes that the sound it emitted echoed in the room.

he shrugged. “could have saved your pretty face from getting hurt if you did.”

“oh, and care to explain why?”

“you know why.”

“you were going to be my knight in shining armor?” you mocked, finishing on changing and standing up, closing your locker door.

“a partner was the term i was going for,” he said quickly, standing up when you did. seokjin walked towards you just as you were going to the exit; he purposely blocked your path, stepping in the direction where you went, not letting you get away with his annoying antics until you looked up again to meet his eyes.

his face appeared serious, rigid even, so unlike the seokjin who liked to piss you off with his dumb jokes and his out of place comments. his gaze flickered down to your misshapen nose once more now that you were inches apart, getting a good look on it before it moved to your slightly swollen and bleeding lips.

he sighed, expression contorting into that guise again when he first stepped inside the room and set his eyes on you—it showed irritation and complete anger, expressions that surprised you a bit but chosen to ignore in the end.

“did you give that asshole a good beating before killing him at least?” he asked.

that amused you, both from how he brought the topic up again and how though not worded in the conventional way, you knew that he meant it as disdain to the man who hurt you, wishing the guy got what he deserved.

“what do you think?”

seokjin grinned, nodding approvingly. “we should head to the infirmary then. get that nose fixed.” he led the way this time and you followed, your mouth smirking.

“thanks for the tip, captain obvious.” you said, pausing for a while before you added another phrase. “and thanks for the concern too.”

he glanced at you, smiling in a sort of cocky manner at the showcase of some feelings. “no problem. though next time, try not to finish the guys who hurt you yourself, alright?” he joked. “let me have my fun with them too.”

you halted at that, just for a quick second, the implication getting stronger—but like earlier, just like with every hint that he’s been giving that he cared for you much more than you were grasping—you ignored it, walking again and matching his pace without another word about it.

[cheriladycl01]

Kinktober 08/10/2024 Lewis Hamilton- Voice Kink

Plot: Lewis Hamilton can sing, it’s a known fact. And he has an incredible voice even when talking. But you can’t help but get turned on by the simplest of phrases.

Warnings: Kinktober SMUT, fingering, voice kink, p in v 18+ Minors DNI

Lewis’ voice to you was like treacle or honey, just a substance so sickly sweet that it made your teeth hurt.

It was so soft and level that whenever you were sad it cheered you up just listening to how calm and collected he sounded.

He had that slight American twang to the British, not to the point it was considered annoying but it almost added to the love for his voice.

Naturally you could listen to Lewis talk for hours, which was actually in hindsight a great thing for yours and Lewis’ relationship. You were not a talker at all, and you loved to listen to what Lewis had to say as it was always something worthy listening too. But then you were so in awe with him that you think you’d listen to him all day even if he were talking utter rubbish.

But … when you guys were intimate it was a whole other level. You’d do anything to here his voice drop just an octave and whisper in your ear, telling you how much of a good girl you’d been for him. Or all the times he’s talked you through your orgasms.

Today however you’d been so busy with work. You’d had the day in Paris modelling and then made the flight down to Nice for lunch with some friends and then drove back to Monaco to see your boyfriend. However the minute you’d walked in the door your work phone was ringing and you apologised to Lewis before he could even say hello.

You were in your little office typing away emails to both your manager and companies reaching out to you, when Lewis came padding into the room.

“Baby” Lewis says in his sultry voice that you knew he meant business, but with all the work you were engrossed in you’d not been paying attention and hadn’t heard what he said.

He huffs in mild annoyance, deciding physical contact may be the best way to advance his conversation with you. He comes up hugging you from behind making you jump a little turning to meet his eyes with a smile on your face.

“Hi” you say sweetly and Lewis looks down nuzzling just face into your neck. He says something mumbled into your neck causing a laugh to erupt from you both because it tickled and because you couldn’t understand a word he was saying.

“I wanna here that voice of yours handsome. Come on” you smile playing with the braids in his hair.

“You ignored me” he huffs out crossing his arms with what looks to be a pout in his face.

“Im sorry baby, you know what I’m liked when I get honed in on a task. It’s just me and the task” you offer with a sad look.

“So a task is more important than me” he challenges.

“Of course not baby. Come on, why you being so needy and cuddly. What do you want?” You humm as he hugs you together.

“You” he says softly, pulling your hips back into his crouch so you could feel exactly what it was he wanted.

“Please baby, I’ve waited all day just for you” he says his voice changing back to the sultry voice, the one that made you have the inability to say no and would probably bet you into some bad situations if Lewis wasn’t a good person.

“Yeah, and what have you waited for?” You ask looking at him.

“You, baby please!” He asks. He pulls your chair away from the desk looking over you.

“Come on baby, don’t you want to be my good girl and come to bed with me?” He asks and you shiver at his tone, a wet patch growing in your underwear at the anticipation of what was to come.

Lewis proceeds to pick you up, carrying you from your office space into your shared bedroom, gently placing you on the bed. He joins you kneeling in between your legs, running his hands up and down your body.

“You are so gorgeous. You’re mine right baby?” He asks and you nod.

“Tell me baby, tell me” he whispers into your ear as he leans closer to you. His fingers teasing your entrance making you breathe out.

“Im yours Lew, all yours. Fuck” you cry out listening more to his voice than focusing on the feeling of his fingers toying with your clit leaving breathing little gasps.

“I want you to suck me off pretty girl. Okay?” He commands lightly. Not even making it sounds like he was giving you an order. So you do, your off the bed in seconds on your knees as he positions himself so he’s sat up on the bed.

Your hands grab the base of his hard cock, your hands moving up and down in a fisting motion. And beofre your lips can even come into contact with his tip the dirty talking starts that has you nearly rubbing your clothed pussy against the carpet for some kind of friction.

“Awe your so good for me. You suck me so well” he starts and as your mouth kitten licks a strip of the vein up he moans.

“No one could make me feel like this but you. Making me feel like heaven baby” he moans as he tries to keep his hips in place and not thrust up into your mouth.

You continue your pace. Your mouth round the head while your hands focus on the girthy base, acting like a barrier to stop you from taking more than you could.

“Fuck your so good baby. Such a good girl” he says and your moaning around him from his softly said world that are making you feel like your in cloud nine.

Not longer after, he’s cumming down the back of your throat with no warning. You swallow all he gives you and the praise that comes after has your grinning like the Cheshire Cat.

“You treat me so well hunny”

“You’re just so perfect”

“I struck gold with you”

“Come sit on my lap, and I’ll treat you just aswell” was the last thing he said before he helped pulling you up to straddle him.

He helps you sit down on him, your tight wetness clamping around him as you let him sink all the way into you.

Now Lewis loved when you rode him, but when he was in a gentle loving mood like now he always preferred you on your back, where he could control the pace himself and mould you into the most pleasurable position possible.

One leg was stretched up over his shoulder, and the other wrapped around his hip so he was able to get to your deepest spots and have your eyes rolling to the back of your head.

“Fuck, I’m stretching you out so good” he moans into your ear as he leans forward, breathing heavily with his hot breath fanning your face.

“You’re so pretty. I love you so much” he says as he slowly thrusts in and out. All you can do is focus on his voice as you keep him close to you and he keeps telling you how well your doing.

“Doing so well for me baby” he breathes out and he can feel you tighten around him.

“Always such a good girl for me, right?” He asks as his hands come up to tease your nipples with his left hand. He kisses up your collarbone and across your neck.

“Are you close baby? Can feel you” he moans into your mouth before pulling you into a passionate and loving kiss. Whiny moans coming from the back of his throat.

“So close Lew, please please” you beg holding eye contact with him. His soft brown eyes stay on yours as he talks you through your orgasm. Your hands find your way to his biceps and grip while you release the right coil in your stomach.

The feeling of your pulsing around him has his following after you breathing softly into your ear as he slows jis thrusts down before letting your leg up over his shoulder fall down to his waist.

“So well, you did so well sweetheart” he smiles kissing your lips softly.

“I love that you get off on my voice” he grins with a little laugh making your groan in embarrassment your cheeks flushing red.

“Shut upppp Lew” you laugh with him, pulling him down into another kiss.

Taglist:

@littlebitchsposts @hockey-racing-fubol @laura-naruto-fan1998 @22yuki @simxican @sinofwriting @lewisroscoelove @cmleitora @daemyratwst @lauralarsen @the-untamed-soul @thewulf @itsjustkhaos @purplephantomwolf @chasing-liberosis @summissss @gulphulp @starfusionsworld @jspitwall @sierruhhhh @georgeparisole @youcannotcancelquidditch @tallbrownhairsarcastic @ourteenagetragedy @peachiicherries @formulas-bitch @cherry-piee @spilled-coffee-cup @mehrmonga @eiraethh @curseofhecate @alliwantisadonut @dark-night-sky-99 @i-wish-this-was-me @tallrock35 @butterfly-lover @barnestatic @landossainz @darleneslane @barcelonaloverf1life @r0nnsblog @ilove-tswizzle @laneyspaulding19 @malynn @landosgirlxoxo @marie0v @yourbane @teamnovalak @nikfigueiredo @fionaschicken @0picels0 @tinydeskwriter @ironmaiden1313 @splaterparty0-0 @formula1mount

[prettydaisygirl]

Congratulations on 500 followers, you're amazing!! ♡♡♡

🌼 Let's dive into James Potter's angst with the phrase “i’m not ready to live without you.”

Perhaps where the reader is gravely ill and while she sleeps cuddled to him, James cannot bear the bad thoughts about losing her. 😭😭😭😭

AND Hello! I hope you're having a good day ♡ I came to ask for a James Potter drabble haha 🌼 Where reader knows that being so sick is wearing James down and even though it hurts, she decides that she doesn't want to drag him down with her to her inevitable death, so she breaks up with him. 😭😭😭 “please don’t make me go, i want to stay.”

the fact that two of you had the audacity to ask me for this (im just kidding). In all truth though, I cried the whole time wriitng this. So if angst is what you want, angst you shall get (with a bit of fluff because obvi you know me, I did not have them break up). Hope you both enjoy, thanks for requesting my loves! <33

🌼 daisy (innocence, loyalty, pure love): pick a character and an AU from the lists above & a prompt from this list and I will write a <500 word drabble

daisy's 500 follower celebration bouquet

James Potter and "I'm not ready to live without you."/"Please don't make me go, I want to stay."

cw: reader has a terminal illness with a bad prognosis, very sad

°˖✧✿✧˖°

It’s nights like these where James feels it the most. In the quiet, there’s no hiding the grief. He can’t laugh and bounce around and smile like his world isn’t ending, because in the darkness of your bedroom, it’s the only truth. His world is ending.

You’re laying next to him, your breathing slightly wheezy as you snore. You look… dull. Even in your sleep when you’re supposed to be the most peaceful. James remembers when you were vibrant, shining and beautiful, and James thought he’d found an angel on Earth. He still does, he just… doesn't know why you have to leave so soon. It’s not fair. 

He turns on his side to face you. You’re thinner than you used to be, the changes in your body evidence of its struggle against itself. He can remember the day the two of you received the news. ‘It’s malignant.’ They’d said. ‘The prognosis is… not good. A year at best.’

A year at best.

Everything has changed since then. You, obviously. Him, more than he’d like to admit. He doesn’t think it’s fair for the two of you to be this young and going through something this devastating.

“I’m not ready to live without you.” James whispers, reaching a hand out to brush your cheek. It’s more hollow than he remembers. You stir, and he immediately feels guilty. Maybe you weren’t as asleep as he thought you were. Your eyes blink open, duller than he’s ever seen them, and your smile is too.

“What time is it?” You ask, voice slightly slurred and raspy from sleep. “I don’t know.” He answers honestly. Your eyes scan the bedroom, finding that it’s the middle of the night. You frown, and something seems to settle over you. James is already shaking his head, he knows what you’re about to say. You’ve had this argument before.

“James-” You start, and he tries to finish this before you continue, desperate to stop your words before you can even say them.

“I’m not leaving.” He presses himself closer to you, his hand finding your lower back. He handles you as gently as he can, and he watches as your eyes turn glossy in the dark. “Please don’t make me go, I want to stay.”

Your eyes pinch shut, and he both hears and feels your shaky inhale. “I hate seeing you like this, James. You need to just… let me go. Go be young like you’re supposed to.”

“And what about you?” He asks, offended that you would ever ask that of him, that you continue to ask that of him. “I’m not abandoning you. I love you.”

“I love you too.” You finally break, sobs wracking your frail body as you lean into him. “But I don’t want you to die too, Jamie.” 

“I’m not leaving.” He repeats himself, and he hugs you closer. He lets you sob into his shoulders, and a few tears of his own fall too.

He’s not letting you go. Not now, not ever. He’s with you until the end.

°˖✧✿✧˖°

© prettydaisygirl

[yuta-nakamots]

Dive Into You - L.Haechan (Teaser)

Pairing - Boyfriend!Haechan x University!AFAB Reader

Genre(s) - Fluff, University!AU (Smut to be included in the full fic)

Warning(s) - none for this teaser but there will be lots for the smut in the full fic lol

Summary - After a whirlwind semester, Haechan sweeps you away on a surprise getaway after finals are over. Between salty kisses and soft-spoken promises, you both begin to realize that Fridays mark more than just the end of the week, they mark the beginning of something new. 

Teaser Word Count - 1.1k

Author’s Note - Happy early birthday to Haechan! 

Taglist - @k-vanity @cosyhomenet @neocity-net @k-films @dinonuguaegi @tinyzen @fancypeacepersona (leave a comment or send an ask to join the taglist!)

Written for the Resonance Beach Collab originally hosted by @loeycity. Part of the K-Films Summer Event 2025 hosted by @k-films. Also part of my NCT Dream: Seven Days Collection. 

Now playing: Dive Into You - NCT Dream, Bahama - aespa

You first met Haechan in a music theory class halfway through the semester. You were taking it for your degree, as was he, though he hadn’t managed to show up to a class thus far because of his busy idol career. On his day off, he finally attended class for the first time, slipping into the back row of the lecture hall ten minutes late, wearing sunglasses indoors and a hoodie too big for the late-spring weather. Yet no one batted an eye. That’s the thing about university, you could be a celebrity or a sleep-deprived caffeine gremlin and still get away with everything as long as you looked miserable enough. 

He sat beside you, even though the rest of the row was empty. “Your notes looked better than mine,” he remarked. 

You raised an eyebrow. “Are you even enrolled in this class?”

He grinned, teeth flashing beneath the shadow of his hood. “Technically.”

“Technically,” you repeated, unimpressed, as you angled your notebook away from him. 

“Come on,” he whined, nudging your elbow with his. “The midterm is next week, I haven’t studied, and my manager thinks I’m watching video lectures at home right now. Help a guy out?”

You sighed, already sliding your notes a little closer. “If I get caught helping you cheat, you better buy me lunch.”

“Deal,” he agreed, a little too quickly. “And maybe a song.” 

“A song?” You questioned.

“You’ll see.”

Your friendship with Haechan started just like that. A few shared notes, a couple late-night study sessions in the campus café when he had time off in his schedule. He hummed next to you while you worked on your laptop, occasionally changing songs halfway through the phrase just to annoy you. You quickly learned that when he wasn’t on stage, he was a menace with too many inside jokes, an alarming stash of memes, and a knack for making your cheeks hurt from laughing. 

The first time you let him into your apartment, he tripped over cables hooked up to music equipment. He made it up to you by immediately assisting in layering harmonies onto the half-finished chorus of a demo track you made. “This would sound so good with a weird falsetto ghost vocal,” he commented, already recording himself singing off your cheap microphone like it was a stadium stage. 

Somehow, you didn’t mind because somehow, his chaos just fit with yours. You made music together, half as a joke, half because it felt right. You teased him about his idol life, and he teased you about your messy desktop and how seriously you took your plugins. He never stopped talking, but you never wanted him to. Somewhere between 3AM laughter, breathless studio nights, and his fingers brushing yours over a keyboard, you stopped writing love songs about people who didn’t exist. 

One night, when your midterm projects were due and sleep felt like a forgotten luxury, he popped by your apartment with fast food and insisted on ‘helping’ you mix your final track. The ‘help’ amounted to him curling up on a chair next to you with a can of soda and randomly hitting keys on your MIDI keyboard while proclaiming it to be ‘art’. 

You swatted his hand away from your laptop for what had to be the tenth time. “You’re going to make me fail.” 

“I’m inspiring you,” he countered, leaning over your shoulder to peer at your project window. “See, this part? Needs more chaos.” 

“You are chaos.”

He laughed, dropping his chin to your shoulder. “I’m glad you finally noticed.”

You turned to look at him, a comeback ready, but the look on his face made the words freeze in your throat. You didn’t realize until that moment just how badly you wanted to kiss him, his lips looking so full and soft mere inches from you. Your breath caugh,t and Haechan heard, but didn’t move away. 

“If you keep looking at me like that,” he said quietly, the usual teasing in his voice softened by something more sincere, “I’m going to think you like me.”

Your eyes flickered to his. “What if I do?”

The words hung there, suspended in the space between your breath and his. You weren’t sure who leaned in first, but suddenly the distance didn’t exist. His lips met yours in a kiss that tasted like soda and secrets you didn’t want to keep anymore. It was gentle, slow, and careful, like neither of you wanted to break whatever this was turning into. 

When Haechan pulled away, his eyes searched yours. “I’ve been wanting to do that for a while,” he admitted, his voice quieter now, his usual bravado stripped away. 

You swallowed, heart thudding in your chest, and your brain fighting with every reason why this shouldn’t have happened. “Haechan,” you started hesitantly. “You’re…you. And I’m just me. This isn’t right.”

He tilted his head, a small smile playing on his lips. “Do you think I don’t know that?” You blinked. “I’ve thought about this, all the reasons it could go wrong. But then I think about how you save lecture notes for me, how you roll your eyes at me, but still tolerate me when I make a bad joke. I think about how I’ve never heard music the same since I first met you.” You looked down at your hands, the weight of reality pressing against the lightness you felt just seconds ago. “Hey.” He reached for your hand. “I can’t promise it’ll be perfect, but I can promise I’ll show up. For you, for this, for us.” 

Your eyes meet his again. There was no cockiness there, just quiet determination and something you realized had been growing behind all his jokes and late-night harmonies. It was real, terrifying, beautiful affection. You nodded slowly, lips drawing up into a small smile. “Okay.”

“Okay?” He echoed, eyes widening. 

“But if I end up in a dating scandal, you better write me a hit breakup song.”

He laughed, his fingers lacing through yours. “Deal. But I’m aiming for a love song first.” And somehow, it felt like the beginning of one. 

Your relationship didn’t erupt like the drop of a chorus, it eased in like a warm synth line, subtle but impossible to ignore. Somewhere in the haze of long nights and low battery percentages, between split headphones and shared playlists, Haechan became the rhythm you moved to without even realizing it.

[boybandbaby]

Better (Spencer Reid x Fem!NonBAU!Reader)

word count: 1127

warnings/tags: reader wears makeup, insecurities, sweet reid, as always if I missed anything lmk

note: still trying to figure out how to write Spencer please don’t judge me 🥺

─── ⋆⋅ ☾⋅⋆ ─── ⋆⋅ ☾⋅⋆ ─── ⋆⋅ ☾⋅⋆ ───

You and Spencer were supposed to be going on a date tonight. Key phrase being: supposed to.

As you see the time flick from 5:41pm to 5:42pm, you angrily toss the spray bottle of water and hair product into the sink. You take a look at your reflection and see red rimmed eyes and a frown.

Spencer would be here at 6pm to pick you up for your dinner reservations at 7pm. You sighed as you thought about how hurt he would be when you cancelled on him. You both found your date nights sacred with your busy schedule and the demanding nature of his job.

Tonight though, you just couldn’t do it. Your hair was not working with you and you kept crying through your face of makeup. Your cheeks had tracks of eye makeup that cut through the foundation. You felt as horrible as you believed you looked.

Deciding to just rip the bandaid off, you pick up your phone from the sink and press on Spencer’s contact. It rang once before his sweet voice was cutting through the phone.

“Hi!” He breathed. You could hear his excitement through the phone. He had been wanting to see you all week why he was away on a case.

“Hi, Spence.” You croaked out.

“Hey, what’s wrong?” He lowers his voice to a soft whisper.

“I-“ you gulp. “I don’t think I can go out tonight. I think I might be getting sick.” You weakly cough out.

There’s silence for a brief moment except for the whirring of the subway car.

It’s only a few seconds that feel like minutes before Spencer speaks. “Oh…” You know from his tone he is disappointed by the change of plans.

“I’m really sorry, Spencer. I really wanted to see you but I just… I’m not feeling up to it today.” You wince. “Can we reschedule?”

“I’m only a few stops away from you. I can come take care of you?” He asks, hoping you’ll agree to his offer.

“I just need to get some rest. Can I call you in the morning?” You ask.

“I don’t want to push you but I really want to see you. Sick or not. Is that okay?” He pleads.

You really don’t want him to see you like this but you’re sure one of his hugs is the only thing that could make you feel better so you agree. “Yeah, okay.” you sniffle.

“Great, thank you. I’ll be there soon.”

Precisely 20 minutes later, you hear a soft knock on your door. You’ve tried your best to remove all remnants of your small breakdown including smoothing your hair into place and scrubbing the layers of makeup. You open the door to Spencer’s already worried yet hopeful face.

He has his satchel around his chest, a plastic bag in his right hand and a bouquet of flowers in his left.

“Hi, beautiful.” He smiles shyly.

His words cause an immediate reaction in you. He’s sweet and always means what he says but you just don’t feel beautiful right now.

Tears flood your eyes and your shoulders slump. Spencer’s smile drops and he hops into action.

He steps inside your apartment and shuts the door. He throws his satchel off his body and onto the floor with the plastic bag and flowers. He wraps his arms around your back as you bury your face in his chest.

You stay in his embrace until your shoulder shakes die down and your face is sticky with tears.

“Come here, let me see you.” He pulls back and cups your face in his hand. His eyes sweep your face as his expression softens. “What’s going on?”

You lean into his hands and hold his hips. “Do you think I’m ugly?” You mumble.

His lets out an incredulous gasp. “What? Absolutely not. What makes you think that?”

“I was trying really hard to get ready but my hair wasn’t cooperating with me. Then I kept trying to redo my makeup because I kept crying and my face got all cakey. I scrubbed it all off and my face started feeling itchy from the scrubbing and then I just felt icky.” You sob, covering your face with your hands. “I’m sorry I lied to you. I just don’t feel like going out when I’m feeling like this.”

Spencer tries to pry your hands from your face. “You know I like you no matter how you look right?”

“I just wanted to look nice.” You deflect.

“You always look nice.” He compliments. “You don’t need to do anything other than be here with me for us to have a good time. We don’t have to go if you don’t want too. We can stay in and order delivery.”

“You really don’t mind?”

“Not at all.” He shakes his head. You nod before leaning in to capture his lips.

“What’s in the bag?” You nod to the floor. “And are those for me?”

“Of course. My pretty girl gets pretty flowers.” He smiles and picks up the plastic bag. “I also got you medicine and snacks but now that I know you’re a liar…” He trails off.

“I’m sorry! It was the only excuse I could think of that would’ve kept you from seeing me like this.”

“I’m not that bad with germs anymore.”

“Yeah, that bad.” You tease.

“Don’t be mean to me.” He hands you the flowers, joking. “You go settle in, I’ll get these into some water.” He kisses your cheek before heading to the kitchen.

You head to the bathroom and began splashing your face with cold water to alleviate the puffiness.

You hear Spencer’s footsteps approaching as he jogs to the bathroom. Before you can drop him, he grabs your face cloth before you can reach for it. He turns you around so your backside is resting against the sink. He gently pats the water drips from your face and grabs your bag of face products. He helps you moisturize, his soft hands rubbing the cream onto your cheeks. You look at him as he bites his lip in concentration.

“Thank you.” You whisper, hands resting on his hips. “For being patient with me”.

“Always.” His eyes flicker to down to meet yours. “Whenever you need some reassurance or you just need me to be here, tell me. I’ll come running.”

You nod and squeeze his hips. He smiles into it before turning you to face the mirror. “How did I do?” You watch him in the mirror as he waits for an answer.

“You did perfect, Dr. Reid.”

“I must’ve if you’re bringing out the honorifics.”

You laugh before pushing your butt back into him to nudge him away from you. “Let’s go order the food, you goof.”

─── ⋆⋅ ☾⋅⋆ ─── ⋆⋅ ☾⋅⋆ ─── ⋆⋅ ☾⋅⋆ ───

[flightlessangelwings]

While we’re in Latino Heritage Month, let’s stop assuming your reader doesn’t know/speak Spanish in your reader insert fics. Especially if you’re writing for Pedro’s, Oscar’s or other Latino characters please.

EDIT: After some criticism of how this was originally phrased, let me change it into a question/request instead- Can we as writers please try to be more inclusive with our reader insert fics so poc and others can feel represented and see themselves too? Including taking out a quick throwaway line about reader not understanding Spanish. (Keeping the original phrasing above so anyone who missed the post to begin with can still see how I originally phrased it)

If you have a throwaway line of “he said in Spanish that you didn’t understand” or something similar, just take it out. Have something like “you didn’t hear” instead and let the reader interpret how they want. Or use italics to indicate Spanish. Or have the translation right there without mention of anyone translating for them. Simple. Or if you don’t want to/feel you cannot change it, then please have something in with your warnings so Latinos/poc can skip it if they choose.

And let me tell you why this is so frustrating (even for me as someone who is not a fluent speaker). It’s because Latinos look to these characters and actors for representation. We see ourselves in them. And when you clearly do not have a Latino person in mind when writing, you’re saying we don’t belong here. In a space where we should feel welcomed and celebrated. Representation matters. Inclusivity matters. Please try to be more inclusive with reader fics so we can all enjoy and immerse ourselves in your writing.

ALSO EDITING TO ADD MORE FROM A REBLOG SO EVERYONE CAN SEE MY CLARIFICATION: (under a cut for length)

This is nothing new, poc have been asking for years now to be inclusive in fics and yet it’s still a battle. We’re not asking for a lot, and certainly not asking anyone to change their style or creativity or anything like that. Literally simple edits: take out the word “blush” don’t mention hair, don’t mention not understanding Spanish, not making reader blood related to a white character, etc. Literally tiny things that would not change the story at all but make a world of difference.

Here’s an example too: a few years ago it was not common for writers to label the gender of their reader as it was usually assumed the reader would be a woman. But, people advocated to label readers as f/m/gn/whatever to be more inclusive and asked writers to strive for gender neutral readers when possible so that more readers felt seen and welcome. Now it’s a common thing to do. Why is making the readers race ambiguous any different?

Yes sometimes posts like this come across harsh, but know that they’re not meant to be. Poc aren’t trying to demand anything, we just ask to broaden your langauge when writing reader insert so more can see themselves in your work. It’s incredibly frustrating to ask for inclusivity and be met with hostility and rudeness in return and a refusal to think about poc so yes sometimes the wording gets harsh out of that frustration. But I encourage y’all to focus on the message more and maybe think about why poc in fandom get snippy like this. We do need to have an open conversation, yes. Just look in the comments at the Latinos and poc who are upset by the exclusion and feel hurt by it. How you you white fans feel if roles were reversed and none of the fics included you? Not fun, right?

And to those who say write it yourself: I do. I’ve been a x reader writer for years now and I do strive for inclusivity in my work. But I’m only one person and this is bigger than any one person. This isn’t about what I personally find acceptable or what I personally what. It should be a collective effort among writers as a whole to strive to include as many as possible in their works and not white code your readers. It’s not about demanding writers write it a certain way, it’s about asking writers to consider others who don’t look like them who also want the immersion and the escape that your fic brings.

[t1red-twilight]

nighttime routines

summary: you and spencer get ready for bed.

content/warnings: gn!reader, fluff, mention of injury, reader has hair long enough to be tucked behind ears

word count: 1k

masterlist s. r. masterlist

hotch had banned you from work after you had sustained an injury in the field. the team had been out of town on a case, and you had been left at your’s and spencer’s apartment alone for the past four or so days.

presently, you were lying on the couch and watching reruns of the office. your injury was pretty much healed, and you were planning on going back to work the coming monday.

spencer was going to be home any minute; he texted you as soon as the jet had landed.

just as the episode ended, you heard spencer unlock the door and come inside. you heard him huff out a sigh before speaking. “hi, honey. i’m home.” you could hear the smile in his tone as he recited the cliche phrase.

you bolted up from the couch and all but sprinted to the entryway. “how was the case?”

he took off his overcoat and set aside his belongings. “eh, it was alright. nothing out of the ordinary. how’s your shoulder? is it still hurting?”

now that his hands were free, you dove into his arms for a hug. he tucked his head into your shoulder and wrapped his arms around you. “no. it didn’t hurt at all today.”

he let out a sound of disbelief.

“no, i mean it. there’s not any swelling or anything.” you halted before adding, “i didn’t even take any meds today.”

his voice lowered to the quiet raspy tonality that you went crazy for. “okay, i believe you.”

the two of you stayed in the entryway for longer than a few moments. you sat and listened to him breathe. he began rocking the two of you back and forth. “you wanna go to bed?” he asked you.

you hummed an “mhm” in affirmation.

he let go of you and loosened his tie. the way his hands looked was delectable. he caught you staring and raised an eyebrow coyly.

your cheeks turned red in embarrassment. you looked away and walked to the bedroom; he followed you.

ever the gentleman, he turned away as you changed into your pajamas. he had picked a pair of red plaid pants and old fbi academy t-shirt. you were wearing some random doctor who t-shirt (one of spencers that you had claimed) and your most comfortable pair of pajama pants that were very worn out.

while the two of you were brushing your teeth, he scooted as close as he possibly could to you. your eyes met in the bathroom mirror and you smiled at him.

your skincare came next. he sat on the edge of the bath behind you. as you followed the steps of your routine, he chattered along with you. “why do you do the toner before the moisturizer again?” he inquired.

“because the toner is a lower viscosity,” you gently rubbed in your moisturizer.

“ah, makes sense.” you could tell from the look on his face that he did not, in fact, understand. you figured that he would research it later and inform you about logic behind it tomorrow.

you washed your hands and turned around, and walked over to him. stepping in between his legs, you looked down at his form. he placed his hands on the backs of your thighs and traced his fingers over them.

his puppy dog eyes were entrancing. “ready for bed, angel?”

“yeah. laying on the couch all day was really tiring,” you replied, smiling down at him.

he stood up and settled his hand on the small of your back and guided you to the bed. once in bed, you pulled the covers up to your chin. he tilted his head to the side and snickered at you.

you grinned at him. you kept eye contact as he crawled his way up and flopped himself on top of you, his full body weight settled.

“you’ll get cold if you lay like that all night, spence,” you chuckled.

his voice was muffled by the covers. “hmm, actually, you are quite the little space heater, angel.”

“really? is that a bad thing?” you craned your neck to look down at him.

“no. I get cold easily and you counteract that perfectly.” he moved his face from being smushed to look up at you. he then rolled off of you and tucked himself into the sheets.

almost instantaneously, you scampered through the sheets and right into his side.

he turned onto his side so that he could swaddle you entirely in his arms. he planted his chin on top of your head.

you inhaled his comforting scent. “i missed you.”

his voice had a raspiness to it that was only present when he was very tired or when he was waking up. “i missed you too. the case would have been solved quicker if you were there.”

“i don’t know about that, darling.” you were falling asleep very quickly.

“no, you’re a very valuable member of the team. you are very observant and catch onto patterns that the rest of us are slow to realize. also, i work better when you’re around me.” his fingers returned to tracing the patterns on your back that he was tracing on your thighs earlier.

he gently lodged his leg between yours. you nudged at his throat with your nose. “well, i’m glad to hear it. i don’t want to be out of a job right after getting shot.”

he kissed your forehead. “are you sure that your shoulder feels okay? completely, i mean. i don’t think that you should even do office work when incapacitated.”

“i wouldn’t lie to you about something like this, pretty boy.” he chuckled at the nickname, stolen from morgan. “i promise, i’m okay.” your voice was softening, sleep was sneaking up on you quicker and quicker.

“okay good. did anything happen while i was gone?” you felt his breath against your hair.

“i had to kill a spider in the kitchen yesterday. all by myself, mind you.”

he huffed out a little laugh. “oh god, that’s horrible,” he teased. “i’ll save you from the next one.”

[noirscript]

sanctum | chapter three

Pairing: Yandere Preacher x Reader Description: You came because your friend said it would help—just a quiet retreat, a place to clear your head. But from the moment you stepped through the gate, you felt it: the way Father Caelestis looked at you, not like a stranger, but like someone he'd been waiting for… someone he'd already claimed long before you ever arrived. Warning/s: Yandere | Religious themes | Cult-ish | Brainwashing | Manipulation Note/s: Enjoy reading! Chapters 4 to 7 are now available on my ko-fi (it's currently locked and only accessible to supporters ^^).

Masterlist | Series Masterlist | Commission | Tip Jar | Dark Roast 50% Off

Chapter Three | A Garden Without Serpents “There is no temptation in sanctified soil.”

• ─────⋅☾ ☽⋅───── •

The gardens stretch endlessly in every direction, a labyrinth of perfect beauty that leaves you disoriented. You’ve been walking in circles for what feels like hours, each turn bringing you face-to-face with more pristine roses, more marble saints, more paths that lead nowhere. The air smells sickly sweet, heavy with the perfume of flowers and something else—something metallic that lingers at the edge of your senses.

You pass a statue of a saint whose faceless head tilts toward the heavens. The word sanctity is etched at its base in elegant script, but the longer you stare, the more the letters seem to blur, twisting into something unreadable. The chanting from the main hall is faint but insistent, its rhythm burrowing into your mind like a melody you can’t escape.

You’re not sure why you keep walking. There’s nowhere to go. Every time you approach the edge of the gardens, someone is there—a gentle but unmoving wall of white robes and serene smiles.

“The world beyond the garden is not yet ready for you, Mother,” Grace had said earlier, her voice as soothing as the petals of the roses she tended.

Her words replay in your mind now, grating like static. Not ready for you. The phrasing feels deliberate, like a feint to obscure the truth: that you’re the one not ready, that you’re unfit to leave.

“You seem troubled, beloved,” Father Caelestis’s voice cuts through your thoughts like silk on steel.

You startle slightly, turning to find him standing a few paces away, his hands clasped in front of him. He looks as he always does—serene, unruffled, as though he’s never known a moment of doubt in his life.

“I’m fine,” you say quickly, too quickly, and his faint smile tells you he doesn’t believe you.

He steps closer, his presence filling the space between you like an encroaching shadow. “The Vessel cannot carry doubt, beloved,” he says gently. “Tell me what weighs on your heart.”

You hesitate, your gaze flickering to the faceless saint beside you. Its blank features offer no refuge, no guidance, and you find yourself speaking before you can stop.

“My friends,” you say, the words spilling out in a rush. “They warned me about this place. They said it wasn’t… that it wasn’t safe.”

Father Caelestis’s expression doesn’t change, but something in his posture shifts, subtle but unmistakable—a sharpening of his focus, like a predator catching the scent of prey.

“The voices of the outside world are tainted,” he says, each word heavy with sorrow. “They planted poison in your soul, beloved, because they feared your light. They saw in you what they lacked in themselves, and they couldn’t bear it.”

“That’s not true,” you protest, though the conviction in your voice falters under the weight of his gaze.

“Isn’t it?” he asks softly, his tone tinged with pity. He takes another step closer, his voice dropping to a near-whisper. “Tell me, what did they offer you, these so-called friends? Love? Freedom? Truth? All lies, beloved. All traps designed to keep you chained to their broken world.”

His words wrap around you like a vise, tightening with every syllable. You take a step back, but he mirrors you, closing the distance with a grace that feels almost predatory.

“They hurt you,” he says, his hand hovering just above your shoulder. He doesn’t touch you—he never does—but the proximity makes your skin crawl. “I can see it in your eyes, in the way you carry yourself. The world broke you, but you don’t have to carry those wounds any longer. Let me take them from you.”

“You’re twisting everything,” you manage to say, your voice trembling despite your best efforts. “I’m not broken.”

His smile deepens, but there’s a sadness in it now, an almost unbearable tenderness. “The truly broken never know they are broken,” he murmurs. “But that’s all right. That’s why you’re here. To be made whole again, slowly, lovingly. Trust me, beloved.”

You want to scream, to push him away, but your body feels frozen, heavy with the weight of his presence.

“I need to be alone,” you say finally, the words barely a whisper.

For a moment, he studies you in silence, his gaze unreadable. Then he nods, stepping back with a grace that feels like a calculated release. “Of course,” he says. “But remember, beloved: isolation breeds doubt. Doubt breeds darkness. And darkness…” He trails off, letting the implication hang in the air like a blade.

You turn and walk away, your steps unsteady, the sound of your retreat swallowed by the endless garden.

• ─────⋅☾ ☽⋅───── •

Later that day, as you wander aimlessly through the winding paths, a young woman approaches you. She’s small, barely out of her teens, with nervous energy radiating off her like heat. Her hands are clasped tightly in front of her, and her head is bowed low.

“Mother,” she says, her voice barely above a whisper. “May I speak with you?”

You nod slowly, unsure whether to be wary or relieved. She glances over her shoulder, her movements quick and furtive, before stepping closer.

“They’re watching,” she murmurs, her voice trembling.

“Who?” you ask, though you already know the answer.

She doesn’t respond. Instead, she presses a small piece of paper into your hand, her fingers brushing yours for the briefest moment. Her touch is cold, trembling, but there’s something electric in it—an urgency that sets your heart pounding.

“Please,” she whispers, her eyes darting around the garden. “Don’t let them see.”

Before you can respond, she’s gone, disappearing into the maze of roses like a ghost.

Your hands shake as you unfold the note. The words are scrawled hastily, almost illegible, but their meaning is clear:

“You’re not crazy. Get out.”

The paper feels heavier than it should, like it’s carrying the weight of all the fear and desperation she couldn’t say aloud. You clutch it tightly, the words burning into your mind like a brand.

• ─────⋅☾ ☽⋅───── •

You spend the rest of the day searching for her. You retrace your steps, scanning every face, every corner, every shadow for any sign of her. But no matter how many paths you walk, how many people you ask, she’s nowhere to be found.

Grace is the first person you approach, though you already know her response before you ask.

“I’m looking for someone,” you say, your voice strained. “A young woman. She spoke to me earlier.”

Grace tilts her head, her expression a perfect mask of gentle confusion. “I’m sorry, Mother,” she says. “I don’t know who you mean.”

“She was here,” you insist, your desperation creeping into your voice. “I spoke to her.”

Grace’s smile doesn’t falter. “There’s no one like that here,” she says softly. “Perhaps you were mistaken.”

You clench your fists at your sides, the note crumpled in your palm. “I wasn’t mistaken.”

She bows her head slightly. “If Father Caelestis wisher you to know, he will tell you,” she says, her voice calm but final.

You turn away before she can say anything else, your frustration boiling over into anger as you storm through the garden.

• ─────⋅☾ ☽⋅───── •

That night, when you return to your room, something feels… off.

The furniture is the same, the linens still white and pristine, but the air feels heavier, colder. It takes you a moment to realize why.

The locks.

They’re on the outside now.

You stare at the door, your pulse pounding in your ears. Your hand drifts to the crumpled note still tucked in your pocket, the words a mantra in your mind: “You’re not crazy. Get out.”

But as the chanting outside your window begins again, rising in volume like an encroaching tide, the walls seem to close in around you. And for the first time, you wonder if escape is even possible.

TBC.

noirscript © 2025

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