#i just cant help myself okay
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Empires smp season 1 and season 2 lineup comparison!
#empires smp#pixlriffs#smallishbeans#solidaritygaming#shelby grace#empires shelby#geminitay#fwhip#joey graceffa#mythicalsausage#scott smajor#ldshadowlady#katherine elizabeth#theorionsound#falsesymmetry#pearlescentmoon#cyrdraws#jimmy and sausage having the same pose each time...#i just cant help myself okay
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There are more things in the Parable than Stanley knows about. [Blank Scripts AU]
#hoh boy i was going to make a comic to introduce these monsters but#i couldnt help myself and made an animation instead#because i just think they're so neat and cool okay#listen i cant for the life of me just infofump about my AU and OCs#because i just think that making actual content about my lore and stuff will not only raise the chances of people being interested#but also it will also raise my motivation to actually produce more content other than the same old recycled front-facing-profile drawings#i need to get creative with my stuff or I'll also loose interest and I DONT want that#in order to be happy with what i have i cant just think about it and expect to be given something new NOOOO i need to MAKE it ughh#i cant believe in order to get more content out of my own au i would need to draw it and feed myself ugh ugh ugh unbelievable (kidding)#but also#i wanna make a little music video or animation again for youtube#its been a hot while since ive uploaded anything in there at all#maybe an animation reel will do for now?#i hope so :(#because ive been working on expanding the Black Scripts AU#and honestly i dont regret it#i had a lot of fun making up scenarios and comics for Stanley and the Narrator (Black)#but yeah!#apart from this little video#you wont be getting an explanation on what these things are supposed to be#and why theyre there#actually i was originally gonna make this into a full fledge animation with sound effect/music/frame-by-frame movement/etc.#but i got lazy HAHA#tsp blank scripts au#tsp au#the stanley parable#the stanley parable ultra deluxe#tsp
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kaleidoscopic crush
#spider man: across the spider verse#pavitr prabhakar#gwen stacy#spider noir#spider punk#hobie brown#noirpunk#so. maybe i went a bit insane#i like poetry a regular amount i promise#this might be one of my favorite things i’ve ever made#first time drawing pav & gwen! they turned out—uh. okay!#the universes & noir himself get brighter as he acclimates :)#treacle (tart) means sweetheart in cockney rhyming slang#bc i cant fucking help myself lol#noir is so in love……….. just like we all are sdfkjhg#mans CANNOT handle how pretty hobie is in his element#to the anon who gave me the idea: thank you so much oh my gods#cw eyestrain#just in case#there is so much going on lol
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Shhhhh shhhhhh I'm getting carried away here, but...
Y'all ever think about Phantom being unphased by griminess when he's first summoned?
Or maybe not unphased, but he just doesn't make cleanliness a priority. Like this guy has been roaming the circles as best he can on his own, more concerned with finding food and shelter and the reluctant ally here and there than with personal hygiene.
Summoning as a general rule isn't a very tidy affair, so no one really notices that first day. Omega and Aether give him the typical, cursory wipedown to remove the worst of the summoning... goo... before bundling him up in soft, loose, flowy robes while his skin is still sensitive. And of course, when they show him where his room his, they introduce him to the baths and let him know he has the rest of the day to clean up and settle in.
Well, morning rolls around and Dew arrives to the breakfast table, ushering a very sleepy little quint along in front of him. Cirrus scolds him for so obviously waking him up before he was ready, but Phantom insists it's okay, please, I asked him to make sure I was awake for breakfast! Don't get angry at him!
And while Phantom explains that Dew stayed up late with him to help him find and organize snacks in his room, Cumulus comes to the table, yawning wide and clutching Aether's arm. She was so excited to greet Phantom and Aurora at their summonings, hugging them tight (despite the goo) and welcoming them into the fold. She's just as excited to see them at breakfast, purring and pressing a kiss into Aurora's hair first before shuffling over to do the same for Phantom.
He can't help but flinch a little as she approaches. Old habits die hard, and he immediately rushes to apologize when she stops in her tracks and frowns. But Cumulus is used to skittish ghouls - she typically accepts boundaries gracefully. No, what's caught her off guard is-
"Phantom, sweetheart, didn't Aether show you how the bath works?" Cumulus' voice is soft and warm, but she's got Aether pinned with a disappointed glare.
Phantom curls in on himself a little, squirming and wrapping his tail around his fingers. "He did... why?"
"Little bat, you've still got... goo... clumped in your hair. That can't feel very good."
And while Phantom is squirming and explaining himself, that he was focusing on getting used to his room, Cumulus starts looking him over more carefully.
She notices his claws, broken and jagged in some spots, dirt and goo clumped around them. Little scrapes, scratches, and bruises littering what little bit of his bare skin is exposed. Hair dry and frizzed up, with tangles and knots all around the base of his horns. And his horns... dried out, brittle, chunks missing near the ends.
Well, Cirrus doesn't call her Fussy Lussy for nothing.
"Oh darling, it's okay you didn't have time last night. I'll tell you what, I was going to have a little spa day today, I've got so many new things I want to try out. How about you come along with me and I'll help you figure out all the knobs in the tub and you can try out some of my soaps!"
Phantom looks a little wary and unsure as Cumulus extends her offer, maybe trying to figure out how to say no, until Aurora gasps and starts kicking her feet excitedly.
"Oh! Phantom! Cumulus helped me wash my hair last night and her soaps smell soooooo good! You're gonna love it!"
So, that's how Phantom ends up reclined neck-deep in deliciously warm bathwater not an hour later.
Cumulus is humming quietly, sitting next to him and lighting all the candles she lined up along the edge of the tub. "These candles are always here," she explains, "And the matches live in that jar tucked over there, so you can use these anytime you want if you like them, alright?"
Phantom just hums a little to let her know he's at least kind of listening. He rubs his toes through a little pile of what Cumulus called epsom salts, enjoying the way the grains crunch and swirl around his feet as they slowly dissolve. He can't remember being so comfortably warm and relaxed, maybe ever.
"Alright, sugar, I've got so many good things to try out. Are you ready?"
Phantom loses track of time quickly, but it must be hours that they soak together. Cumulus grooms him meticulously, and it stirs up achingly precious, half-lit memories from his kit days, when he still had his parents to look after him.
She scrubs his hair thoroughly with a sweet, sudsy shampoo. Her claws scratch deliciously over his scalp, sending goosebumps down his back. She works something called conditioner in next, using her fingers and a comb to tug and tease all the knots out of his hair. Not once does she pull hard enough to hurt.
She rubs a creamy, buttery substance between her palms until it melts into a sweet-scented oil. She massages it over his horns, cooing about how it's adding so much depth to their night-blue color. His claws are next, and Cumulus patiently explains what each of her little tools is for as she goes about trimming, filing, and oiling each one. She even rubs a cream into what she tells him are his cuticles, apparently to soften them or something.
She uses the softest cloth he's ever felt in his whole life ever to wash him thoroughly with a mouth-wateringly scented soap. She's thorough, getting behind his ears and between his toes. While she washes him, she tells him they should talk to Rain later about trimming up his hair so it doesn't fall in his eyes so much. She checks in with him constantly, asking if he's still okay with her washing him or if he'd like to take over.
Once they're out and dry, she helps him put on a creamy lotion before handing him big, soft clothes to pull on. She helps him roll the sleeves and cuff the pants, having stolen them from Swiss.
"He won't miss them, sweetie. That ghoul has the comfiest loungewear and he's always happy to share."
Cumulus insists that the most important part of their spa day is to immediately crawl into her nest to snack, snooze, and watch movies. It's called beauty rest for a reason, Phantom!
It's with a full belly and a clean, relaxed body that Phantom snuggles down under Cumulus' fresh, soft blankets and promptly passes out. It's the deepest, most restorative sleep he's had in ages.
And while he sleeps, Cumulus pets his hair, rubs his back, and generally fusses over whether the blankets are covering him properly. Her entire heart has totally melted for this sweet ghoul who's seen too much hardship, and she vows to make him the most rotten, spoiled little brat the ministry has ever seen.
#okay so maybe i get carried away thinking about soft lovey grooming ghouls#i cant help myself let me live#phantom deserves the world#cumulus is going to ruin him#phantom ghoul#cumulus ghoulette#the band ghost#nameless ghouls#ghoul grooming#just fluffy nothing#head empty
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when youre disabled youre not allowed to have dreams without everyone shoving your disability in your face fuck you fuck all of you
#rigormortisangel#vent#chronic illness#disability#“if i were you i wouldnt have started university” kill yourself kill yourself now#im smarter than you im smarter than youll ever be and im mentally handicapped enough to have been in special ed fuck offfff#why is it that any time i want to make something out of myself its seen as a fucking joke as if indont know#i know my body fails me i know im never gonna be able to live alone i know ill always need to be on meds i cant afford i know okay i know#let me go to university so i can go to med school and help people like me not be in pain all the time and miserable#i just want to become what i needed when i was little and no one took me seriously and left me to almost fucking die#but yeah okay shit all over me even thinking about it ill just slit my wrists in your office next time as if its not YOUR JOB to help#disabled people go to college#there are people wayyy more sick than me if you think im too sick to live youre in for a rude fuckinh awakening my guy
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Search results for "how to boost self esteem" are useless.
Don't tell me to take better care of myself, or stick to a routine. If I could do those things I wouldn't be searching for suggestions.
And "remember what you're good at"? Again, if I could recognize what I am good at I wouldn't be looking this shit up.
Useless, the lot of it.
#got the same list from my psychiatrist#but he also suggested some sort of behavioral therapy he isn't qualified to provide and i cant afford#so i guess i will just keep hating myself and hope it goes away on its own#it's only been thirty years what's however more i have left#no i am not okay#but it's nothing anyone can help with so i am just yelling into the void
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vaggie hazbin hotel ill fucking save you from this show. ill save you from the narrative my beautiful woman.
#hazbin hotel critical#shes so alluring as a concept okay if you just inghore what out for love says about her character she has. so much potential#why was out for love about ohhhh she needs to learn to learn to fight for who she loves#FOUR EPISODES AGO YOU TOLD ME SHE FEELS WORTHLESS IF SHE CANT HELP CHARLIE!!!!!!!!!!#shes paranoid....thats why she looksfor so much security she doesn't wanna get hurt#thats why she clung to the angels so much when she worked under them she didn't want the horrors to get her#thats why she clings to charlie so much because charlie is a constant here. she is her heaven replacement.#fuck this im just gonna make a character like what vaggie could've been to me to calm myself down so I don't skin myself#hazbin hotel criticism#hazbin hotel critique
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analysis of the new kitty art bc i'm in shambles and can't stop thinking about it;
✨prepare yourself for an unnecessarily long post✨
THE PRIDE FLAG! MY HEART! 🏳️🌈 i want to know the reason why they have it! are they going to pride together? is it for shits and giggles bc ty comes out to kit? OR i have another theory ->
ty has got some sort of bruise or wound on his cheek and his tshirt is a bit ripped at the top and i need to know why; does that mean that he had a hard time getting to cirenworth (which is where i'm assuming the scene is taking place)? was he attacked by someone or something and maybe kit is putting the flag on him to warm him up (seems kinda silly ik but maybe... let me think my silly thoughts...). and maybe that’s how ty find out kit is into boys!!!! anyhow, i need to know who hurt him tho bc nobody touches my baby /:(
kit is wearing pink! and it looks so lovely on him! he's a jumper person people! and it's really not surprsing considering he's living in england now & the uk ain't known for its warmth let me tell u
THE LONGING LOOKS! we are getting simps kitty in tlkof and it's only the first book oh we are gonna be fed so well mark my words
hair and eye colour contrasts = ✨insane✨
the door for some reason makes me think this is in fact, in cirenworth and might possibly be taking place not long after their reunion? but maybe that's just me but who knows
KIT'S ARMS AROUND TY! PHYSICAL CONTACT GUYS! WE HAVE PHYSICAL CONTACT THIS IS NOT A DRILL! i just know they are both describing electricity and warmth and my heart won't be able to take it i'm afraid
iconic kit jacket appearance ahhhhh! cassie wasn't lying about making him wear it in twp (i'm so so happi heheheheeh🫶🏻) -> also,,, there are some scuff marks on it i swear! are the years of usage finally coming through?
their runes,,,, i'm obsessed! like they are both officially full-on shadowhunter boyfriends :( and something about seeing kit's skin covered in them has me emotional like he's all grown up :(
HERONDALE AND BLACKTHORN NECKLACES ON TY ARE CRAZY! as if ty could be even more obvious about his feelings. he's really out here wearing the heron necklace, practically declaring that he's been thinking about kit for the whole time they were apart *cries*
kit’s herondale ring. yes, i am watching u.
hyperfocusing on kit’s dimple don’t mind me -> but where. is. his. freckle? i’m sad
[side note] i knew kit is the type to wear ripped jeans, i knew it.
i'm excited to see if i'm right about some of these theories once the book actually comes out! i just hope it gets here quick! HURRY UP RELEASE DATE!
#sorry that i made a whole essay on one art#but i cant help its when it’s LITERALLY kitty#like what do u expect me to do?????#not make a long ass post about it????#ALSO JUST QUICKLY WANNA ADD#I LOVE THE FACT THAT KIT IS WEARINF DENIM ON DENIM AND NOT GIVINF A SINGLE FLYING FUCK#LIKE YES MAKE ME FEEL LESS BAD ABOUT DOING IT MYSELF KING#oh and also dont wanna talk about height bc im hoping for taller!ty in the end…#and if that makes me delulu then so be it#okay im stopping now#kit herondale#ty blackthorn#kit x ty#kitty#cassandra clare#the last king of faerie#the dark artifices#the wicked powers#tlkof#twp#tda#tsc
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unfortunately i am still an introvert after all this time so even if i have a really gratifying and positive interaction with someone outside of my comfort zone i will feel the need to weep afterwards from the stress of it all
#thunder rambles#two good seminars today.... had good convos with my friends in both...... made good contributions to both classes#and i just had a long long conversation with my seminar leader after class as we were walking out the building#its just. AAAAAAAAAAAAA. because i dont usually do that#(and also part of me is always worried about interacting with my male seminar leaders bc i dont want to appear too enthusiastic. in case#they think im coming onto them. but i am an enthusiastic person by nature and i cant help it#and this isnt based on any previous bad experience with teachers its literally just. ocd#im like what if he thinks im trying to bootlick! what if other people think that! what if he takes it as reciprocity and comes onto *me*?!#which is a rod ive made for my own back i know i know. but! moral ocd intrusive thoughts go brrrrrr)#also ~putting myself out there~ on tuesday led to me throwing up in my bathroom so like. im still relearning that its okay to step out of#my comfort zone LMFAO#not all of it will have bad consequences. grrrr#ocd tag
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choso :3
#i just cant help myself#hes so#AUGH#jjk#jjk fanart#choso#choso kamo#choso i heart u never forget that#jujutsu kaisen choso#super okay art#sketch#fanart#choso fanart
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I’ve never been so obsessed with a character so bad that I literally can’t do anything else I’m like the squidward meme watching SpongeBob frolic outside the window stretching a hand out to all the pretty paintings and animations and comics I see in my head but being unable to feel any motivation for it . If only i could use the energy spent to create 20 kon doodles to sit down and concentrate on a single finished full piece I used to be able to make like 5 page comics what happened to me
#sighs yes before anyone says anything IK it’s probably adhd related 😭#BUT ITS GOTTEN SO BAD I CAN FEEL THE DIFFERENCE IN MY BRAIN HOW DID IT GET WORSE#it’s probably a mix of burnout too but I don’t get tired of drawing ?#it feels like when u get dizzy or change glasses or so#and it’s either everything is wayyy too in focus and you can see literally everything clearly that it hurts ur brain#which doesn’t help given how saturated w information the world is always#and simultaneously somehow everything is blurry or out of focus and I physically have to strain myself to hone in on one thing#I JUST WANNA READ COMICS AND FINISH A DRAWING AND HANDLE WORK AND SCHOOL AND TALK TO MY FRIENDS#ALL IN OME DAY#BUT MY BRAIN IS LIKE. TODAY IS ONLY FOR COMICS. YOU CANT DO ANYTHING ESLE#😫🫶 I’m deleting this later I’m just ranting LMAO#I’m highschool it’s crazy bc I did okay and then honestly i just think my ability to concentrate has deteriorated as the years have gone by#free me!!!#either way I want to lessen my social media and just pick One bc girl I have an Instagram a tumblr and a twitter this is horrible for me .#honestly I’ll probably pick instagram and just post on tumblr when I have art#I already do that#I mean when I have Good art.#IM RAMBLING IDK
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eye doctor was trying not to scare me today bc i have a sight threatening condition 🥲 it's probably treatable but i need to go to a specialist
#havent been to the eye doctor in six years but i was like okay i need to update my prescription my headaches are getting really bad#and my prescription barely changed so the doctor said it wasnt that#also this other condition doesn't cause headaches either so treating it wont even help :(#tho it does make me light sensitive which is a trigger ao maybe it will help a little i hope#but mostly i hope its treatable#also i have no health insurance so hopefully its not expensive lol#but at least the job search is going well so maybe i can handle the treatment myself#but since i will go blind if its untreated my parents will definitely cover it if i cant i just feel bad#they paid for my appt to get the new prescription today too but that wasn't very much i didn't even get the new glasses#but seeing a cornea specialist regularly to treat a scary condition is going to be expensive 😭#i dont even know how expensive yet tho#maybe i should make a gofundme or something#this has been a shitpost#im not 100% sure my parentsncan afford it if its expensive#probably depends how far its progressing and how fast andnwhat the cause is and a million other things#but i know it can be difficult and resist treatment 😰#and its not early for catching it at all
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Painting 🖼
#need to draw for myself more lmfao#i wish i felt this comfortable using saturated colors like this in other art but#its difficult#i feel like i can only do it w original art#AAAAAGGHHH I LIKE THIS ONE A LOT#im rly proud of the clothes. very leyendecker to me#its weird how much i like the pink considering i never use hot pink 😭😭#its just very fitting for this idk#also i was gonna draw a different outfit#but before i knew it i sketched 1700s stuff 😭😭 i cant help it#its too perfect yknow....#also funny anecdote i must tell you#when i was in middle school we had to do an assignment related to the monkey's paw#and one of the questions was like: whats a wish you cna think of that doesnt have any possible caveats#and mine was: oh i wish i could draw ruffles well!!!#and here i am. however many years on. STILL FUCKING WISHING I COULD DRAW RUFFLES BETTER#theyre okay in this. but i force myself to draw them a lot bcs theyre still difficult as hell to me#well anyways. personal art wooooooo. cause i need to force my brain back into drawing for myself mainly#well actually i always draw for myself bcs every piece is pretty esoteric#but my brain is still like: notes??? does anyone even care???#catie. i care. your own self cares <3#catie.art.
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Genuinely, I wonder if my fear of being seen as annoying by commissioning oc x canon is silly or not.
I always get so actually worried that the person I'm commissioning will think I'm weird or if it's an artist who's in the fandom with me I get all worried they probably already draw a lot of oc x canon of the character i like and maybe they're tired of it
How many times can one artist draw Wally Darling kissing a bunch of different ocs before they hate it? Dksjfjkskdjd
#text post#just rambling#IM JUST SCREAMING INTO THE VOID DONT MIND ME!!!!!#like please please i kno im cringe but i just want more art of them...holding hands#aaughfjfjsodidkbfkek#shaking myself for being a lil baby even though im always saying “Be cringe be free!!!!!” but i cant help it#like I already try and only comm people who are familiar with or in the fandom#but then i get all sorts of like “OH GOD THEY PROBABLY HATE DRAWING THIS”about it#im sure if they didnt wanna theyd just...tell me? i do ask. ya kno when i do try and buck up the courage.#“Hi sorry would you be alright with drawing my oc with this guy please its okay if not haha jk unless.” type shit gjdjfjkekdjfjeke#god im embaressing
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okay so im back in navbar hell (when i thought i escaped...!!!) but ive managed to get this set up today :D
#my issue is that im trying to make the navbar properly responsive and have a toggle option once the screen gets too small#if u look on my blog i had it on my last attempt at this because i was using bootstrap but i was like okay i gotta make a new project!#cause i wanted to use nextjs#and not have to worry about backend stuff as much#okay so like..... i know im being kinda stubborn here lol#i could just slap bootstrap on and copy my old code but i dont wanna#i already have tailwind on here and i dont want to confuse myself anymore#so ive been looking for navbar tutorials using tailwind to help and omg#i thought i found a good one and then i realized it used a specific js package which i cant use cause im using typescript...#and i cant find a ts version#so now im just set on doing it without any outside stuff#like just show me how to make the thing with just html and javascript#at least that way i can just translate the the js to ts on my own!!!#anyways lol i found a video that should help...pls#ill watch it later....#but today im tired#webdev#codeblr#wip#this site will happen i swear I SWEAR#AHHH#there so many things to help but after a certain point its like...i dont even know whats happening and now im confused#and god forbid things start conflicting with each other#so i just want something that will spell it out clearly#but yea if u see this and think im confused (which i might be)#im always open to links to videos
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sigh
#i have been thinking about them for days.#i saw holly art earlier too i need to rb it in a bit#host holly gets so spoiled by me#i also gotta draw them blushing all the time too i cant help myself!#anyway i just picked my tablet up for this and only this idk when I'll get to draw again next#so i wanted to give it some color as a treat :3#okay ramble over#brambleramble
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