#“if i were you i wouldnt have started university” kill yourself kill yourself now

[rigormortisangel]

when youre disabled youre not allowed to have dreams without everyone shoving your disability in your face fuck you fuck all of you

[tarpitbell]

vvvery well then ill come off anon, feel free to block me as you see fit

i said it because even if we dont interact anymore, i hate seeing people get kicked when theyre down. i cant stand bullying and i cant stand condescending bullshit directed at people who dont deserve it. it wasnt a waste of time because any time a person is getting hurt and they dont deserve it, i step in. i dont care if it was my business or not. it wasnt a waste of time because you still deserve to be treated with respect.

ill say it as many times as i have to but you really dont deserve the hatred you receive. everyone in that server kept telling you that we never hated you but you kept believing we did to the point where it felt like you were making us out to be the bad guys. it was incredibly unhealthy on both sides. we hoped that if we just stayed moots with you on tumblr that itd be okay and that you could distance yourself as much as you needed to so that it wouldnt be so overwhelming.

i see that that probably wasnt really issue but possibly several other things. if you want to stop posting content related to alnst then so be it. thats your decision. we will dwell on you because youre an amazing person and there are many fond memories with you and your characters. if you dont want to participate in any of the fan seasons, including sona season, then we will make adjustments for you. whatever you want to do with your characters is completely up to you.

thank you for being a beautiful and wonderful being, and i hope that whatever you choose to do, you do it in good conscience. we dont want to push or annoy you any further than we might be doing (sorry, genuinely. i really do care about you tbf.) but we also just want you to be happy.

/gen, /lh, and /withlove.

- zen (papa, if youre still willing to call me that /nf)

It was you -!!! (Geno sans, CPAU comic dub voice) ((I knew itt.. you do stand up for others and are more vocal about being ..indunno but I guess yk inna way, just the way you typed it (sorry if that's ..weird/creepy), the way that you confront others and such .much braver ig, since you take action a lot))

Sorry for making it seem like I was making y'all the bad guys. Didn't mean to, and honestly shouldn't have done that- that was wrong of me from the start. Though, now I don't think I can remember- well. Given how it was like. Two months ago now? And I do forget a lot so- ...sorry for unfollowing as well (tho I know that no matter the amount of me saying sorry will ever fix things up since I avoid what happened/etc..)

I don't really think I can stop posting alnst/alnst oc content. I'm in too deep, in three gc (AREPH, Setup and Takedown, and then Toxic ysosu)— I have an Au (you probably know or maybe not; Sonic.exe like au, I'm mainly focusing on the hypothetical 3d game in the universe that happens in 2035, called Mor. I remember asking you for permission, but then again.. gah. Fucking sorry for putting onna invisible time limit to the question, as said- for almost everything I've done since I was in the series(what I call servers now) and out of it.... Though you did say we don't talk anymore, and so like. Yeah- haven't answered my question- tho ITS TOTALLY NORMAL! FINE! Just slightly weird?? That like. Just recently you came here to like. Ig cheer me up? When I was "kicked down even more". Tho it is .you. You did say that you can't stand what they have said to me and what/who they were referring to, which is interesting but I won't bother you with anything i have to say) — I still have a lot more to show (so many hidden characters and hidden lore) and post,, and I've been going back to writing like. Flor's lore, and getting some basic ideas down. Besides, I still can't stop thinking of the ocs and such.. as ..said..... I'm in too deep (was basically here from the start.. before s39 was even s39.....ah..kills the wall). And it's not leaving me anytime soon, since I always have thoughts- ideas and such. <- this is what 50+ OCS does to a person

I still have OCS, in the seasons. I still have OCS I want to work on and expand on.

Besides, Eddy and Sebastian have a very close bond. Flor, Oli, Dian, Faisal, and their other siblings are well. Siblings. Four of them don't belong to me. I have OCS in romantic relationships with others, and all of that. I can't just .. abandon it all honestly.

For the Sona Season, I think I'm like. Basically disqualified though? Before I did whatever I did, I kinda did ask to be in round1 so things can end faster for my sona. But then again. <- is a whiny person. <- impatience, which is wrong. <- generally a ""ugly"" one. So I just decided to do what I did in the server basically— and just leave the Garden & Stage thing. ..tbh I did do a song-comic, but I doubt you want to see anything I do now (NOT trying to make you see what I do. Waste of time. And again in the previous ask you sent you used past tance and so that practically means that we are thru, huh? Along with us not talking to each other besides those two asks you sent to this blog..along with the Seb song. But I don't think that you and the others don't want to touch anything made by me or are related to me! Which I totally get)

You all have NEVER annoyed me or pushed me, at all (only ever asked me for some small things, or actually nothing at all). IM the one who's annoyed and pushed you all (too many ideas, too many posts I've tagged as ocs- I've tagged y'all in, etc etc. basically at those times and still now, it's just me talking to a wall). It's.. stupid to apologize for what I've been doing the most.

Also don't .. apologize for caring actually. I don't know what to say, or have anything to say besides that.. still can't fucking believe that you are still. That you still allow me the chance to call you papa...stupid of me to have mentally clocked the community as a family(ish?only a few) to me. since it ended up with me being .not continuing that sentence. but yeah, really stupid of me to have you all as family when we ended up like this.which is unhealthy as you said! What type of friendship is like person A: your my friend! / Person B: (you are like a sibling to me. You are family.) ???? Certainly not a working healthy one. Because I became so very impulsive when .not finishing that either.

[bimb0beee]

stay with me.

suna x y/n

in which youve liked suna for years, suna is a tsundere, and tsukishima is a little shit.

includes tsukiyama, best friends tsuki & yamaguchi, mentioned miya twins, tsukishima is a shit stirrer and we love him for it.

warnings: smut, public funking, big cock suna, stupid suna, a little spit, uhhhhh, also my fics are never beated all mistakes are my own 🥴

wc: 4.1k

The first time you saw Suna Rintaro was at nationals. He was easily one of the prettiest boys you have ever seen. All you wanted to do was introduce yourself to him, but seeing as how they lost to Karasuno… you didn't think he'd give the time of day to a student there.

You debated following him on his socials… but ultimately went against it.

There was no way he'd be interested in you anyway.

The second time you saw Suna Rintaro, you were eating lunch with Kei and Tadashi.

You were midchew listening intently to Tadashi's story when you looked up and saw him.

He was walking with his friends, the twins, and you started choking.

Kei glanced at you while Tadashi fussed to make sure you weren’t dying.

He also happened to glance in the direction you were looking and saw the reason for your sudden choking.

“Y/n, oh my god, are you okay??”

“Tadashi, she's fine. She just so happened to see her four year crush.”

You punched him in his stupid gut.

The third time you saw Suna he was in one of your classes. Along with one of the twins. The one with yellow hair… What was his name again?

You were seated near the back, always keen on avoiding human interaction if you could.

And, of course, they both decided to sit directly in front of you.

Not that they paid you any attention.

Which was fine.

Until your professor told the class they should get someone elses contact information.

Since you were alone, and no one was near you except for Suna and Miya, you had no choice but to give it to Miya when he asked.

“Yo, I’m Atsumu! This is Suna.”

You looked up at, ah his name is Atsumu, Atsumu and smiled shyly.

“Hey! I’m Y/n…”

You took a chance at Suna but he's looking at his phone, not even bothering to give you another glance.

Unknown to you, he was already looking at you, but decided to look away before he got caught by either you or Atsumu.

You offered up your email and number to Atsumu, looking over to see if Suna wanted to as well.

He didn't even look at you, which may or may not have bummed you a bit, but you decided it was better this way.

You and Atsumu exchanged at least which was better than nothing, you suppose.

From then on, you and Atsumu became fast friends. You would try to talk to Suna, but he would just grunt at you or not even bother answering. So you gave up on trying. Which kind of fucking sucked, but if he wanted to be a prick, then you wouldnt bother with that.

Has your crush dwindled? No, of course not.

Atsumu was always talking about Suna and the stuff they were up to and he seemed so wonderful, so it sucked that he wouldnt even look at you.

You're crying about Suna to Kei and Tadashi; you're so distracted you don't even notice them walking in.

But Kei does, and right before you say his name he decides to be nice and cut you off.

“Shut up. Look who’s here.”

You look to glare at Kei and then you look up and, oh my god, of course it's him.

Suna and the Miya twins.

Atsumu notices you and starts walking over to you excitedly like a little puppy.

As annoying as he is, it's so endearing, you can't help but love him.

“Hey, Y/n!”

“Oh, hey Atsumu. Whats up?” You crinkle your eyes at him and in the most subtle way a tick appears in Suna’s eyebrow.

No one notices, except Kei.

He mentally grins.

“Oh, this is my brother! Osamu! We’re twins!”

You laugh and Kei puts his arm around you.

“Wow, really? I would've never guessed.”

You slap your hand on Kei’s leg and tell him to be nice.

He turns to whisper in your ear, “Leave your hand there. I'm testing a theory.”

You look at him with a question in your eyes but decide to listen anyway. Let him have his fun.

“I didn't know you had a boyfriend,” someone who definitely isn't Atsumu says.

You look up, why is Suna talking to you?

“Hmm?” You're staring at him curiously and then he just stalks off.

Atsumu starts to cackle. “What the fuck. He doesn't talk to you at all and then says that shit?”

“Y-yeah. What the hell was that about?”

Osamu is looking at you with sparkles in his eyes and you're about to ask what that means when he's suddenly walking away, “Sorry, gotta go and make sure he doesn't accidentally hurt himself! It was nice meeting you, Y/n.”

“You too…?”

Atsumu catches up to them to see what the fuck that was about.

They're sitting on a bench outside and Atsumu walks up to them trying not to laugh.

“What the fuck was that, Suna? I thought you didn't like her!”

“I don't.” He rolls his eyes, but there's a faint blush to his cheeks.

“Oh my god. You fucking like her.”

“Shut the fuck up, Tsumu.”

“LMFAO.”

“Atsumu, why the fuck did you just say that out loud?”

“Suna, you’re such a fucking tsundere. Why don't you just talk to her, idiot?”

“Why would I do that, when she clearly has a boyfriend?”

“Well, Rin, you didn't even let her answer before you stormed off. Maybe if you actually talked to her, you might find out the truth.”

Suna blinks at Osamu and gives a gentle smile.

“This is why you're my favorite twin.”

“Fuck you, Suna. You can't even talk to the person you like.”

“What the fuck was that. Kei? What the fuck was that?”

You're kind of having a little breakdown. Why did Suna randomly ask that, out of absolutely nowhere. He doesn't give you the time of day, then all of a sudden asks if you have a boyfriend? In what universe is Suna Rintaro living?

Kei is smirking.

“Babe, I think Suna likes you.” Surprisingly, it's Tadashi who speaks.

“Suna doesn't like me, Tadashi. He's clearly an idiot who knows nothing.”

“No, yeah. He totally likes you. He looked like he wanted to kill me.”

“Kei! You can't go antagonizing people!”

“Yes. i can. Especially assholes who think they can say shit when they don't even bother to talk to you.”

You smile wide. Fuck. “Oh my god, Tadashi! Kei loves meeee!”

He blushes and pushes you. “Fuck off, no one even likes you.”

You wrap him in a hug and he's groaning the whole time, but Tsukishima Kei loves you. 

Thankfully, it's friday. Which means you're not going to think about school for the next two days.

Unfortunately, Tadashi is dragging you to a party. Originally, he was only taking you because Kei refused to go. But now there's a change in plans.

You're whining into the phone, “Tadashiiii, if Kei is going then why do I have to??”

A voice, who is most certainly not your sweet freckled baby, answers instead, “Because your stupid boyfriend,” “I dont have a boyfriend, Kei” “is going to be there, and my job is to piss him off.”

“Why do you live off of chaos? What do you get out of it?”

“Pissing people off is one of my favorite pastimes, midget. Get ready.”

And the mother fucker hangs up on you.

One of these days, you swear you're going to kick him right where it hurts the most. 

You walk into the party, Tadashi holding your hand and Kei's hand on your back. It's nice. It's comfortable. You feel like everyone thinks you’re fucking them both. You're not. They’re fucking each other, but that’s a whole other thing you’re not going to get into.

Tadashi goes to get some drinks and Kei takes you to a wall and cages you in.

You blink up at him so prettily, he thinks, if he wasn't in love with his boyfriend, you would've been his next one.

“Kei?” You say so softly and he smirks like the demon he is.

“Saw dumb, dumb and dumbest playing beerpong. I think one of them saw you, so I’m just doing my friendly duty and pissing him off.”

You roll your eyes good naturedly at him and see Tadashi making his way over to you guys.

“Yummy! Give me, give meee!”

Tadashi smiles at you so sweetly and leaves a soft kiss on your forehead.

“I love you, sweetheart!”

“Babe, I'm gonna blush, you womanizer!”

He blushes at that. Tadashi is much too sweet for your teasing but you love seeing how red he can be.

“Shut up, you little brat!”

Suna noticed. He always notices you. He saw the moment you walked in. He narrowed his eyes the moment Kei caged you next to the wall. He also saw when Tadashi kissed you.

The math aint mathin, he thinks to himself.

Atsumu notices his glaring and wants to see what has Suna so angry. At a party.

Then he sees you and who you're with and he laughs in Suna’s face.

“What are you angry about? You never talk to her, idiot. Why don't you change that? Actually, lets go.”

He grabs Suna by his wrist, dragging him across the room to where you three are.

“Y/n! Hey! I didn't know you came to parties!”

You blink your pretty eyes towards them and you smile wide.

“Tsumu! I don't usually, but they wanted me to come and I love them so… Here I am!”

“What, you're not gonna say hi to me, too?”

Now. normally, you would blush and brush it off. But unfortunately, you got some liquid courage in your system because of Tadashi.

“Oh? What's this? Suna is actually making an effort in talking to me?”

You smile so cutely at him and his eyes widen. Is that a blush?

Before he can respond, Atsumu is laughing his ass off.

“She’s got a fuckin point there, Suna!”

“Shut the fuck up, Tsumu. Whose side are you on anyway?”

“Obviously, Y/n’s side.”

You start laughing loudly at their interaction. Kei has a tight grip on your waist and Suna is glaring at the offensive hand.

“You got a staring problem, Suna?”

You glance up at Kei and see a mischievous fire in Kei’s eyes.

“Can you be nice for two seconds, Kei?”

“He's glaring at my hand. Am I supposed to say nothing?”

“Maybe you're just imagining it, hmm?” You say sweetly to him.

He’s about to tell you how stupid you are when someone speaks up, “Hey, Y/n. You wanna go outside? Me and Tsumu are gonna go get some fresh air.”

Kei raises a brow at that, “What, just Y/n? Not us?”

“Nope.” He says, popping the p extra loud.

“Yeah, sure. It's stuffy in here. I'll be back okay? Try not to murder anyone. Love you, bye!”

You make your way outside and find a nice little secluded spot.

It feels so much better than being inside a cramped party where everyone is breathing the same air.

“Wow, it feels so nice out here, huh?”

You have such a pretty little smile all Suna wants to do is kiss you until you're giggling just for him.

“You're really touchy with your friends, aren't you Y/n?”

To your utter surprise, it's not Atsumu who is talking to you.

Atsumu is trying to hold back his cackle; sometimes Suna is too blunt for his own good.

“Hmm, I guess so. I've also known them forever, so it's natural for me to be like that with them. Why, you jealous, Suna?”

You're sitting down squished between Suna and Atsumu and it's giving you butterflies.

Suddenly, Atsumu’s phone is ringing.

“Fuck, its Samu.”

“Yeah? What's up? What? Why did you leave, you stupid… Alright. Stop. Osamu, stop, I'll be right there. Jesus.”

“Sorry, guys. Osamu is drunk and is attempting to walk home alone for whatever reason. I'm gonna go get him. See you guys later?”

“Hopefully! Let me know when he's safe, okay, Tsumu?”

“Yeah, of course, sweetheart!”

You blush, Atsumu has never called you sweetheart before.

Suna knew he was a fucking liar and only doing it to get a reaction out of him. Fucker.

He clears his throat, “We’re friends, aren't we, Y/n?”

You hum, thinking over what he's asking. “Are we, Suna? How can we be friends when you never speak to me?”

You smile oh so sweetly at him and he wants to bite it off of your face.

“We’re talking now, aren't we?”

“I suppose we are, Suna…”

“Call me Rintaro.”

You stammer at his bluntness, “O-okay… Rintaro…” It feels like candy on your tongue.

You’re so fucking cute, he thinks.

“Are you shy? Like a cute little… bunny.”

You stare up at him, eyes wide, face red.

“B-bunny?! Do you go around calling all unsuspecting girls, bunny, Mister Rintaro?”

“Nah. Just the cute ones named Y/n.”

“You're very bold for someone who I just became friends with, aren't you, Rin?”

He puts an arm around you and pulls you closer.

“But, you're so cute, bunny. I can tell you like the nickname. Should I keep calling you bunny? Hmm?”

You're trying to fight the heat on your face, but he's so cute. His words make your insides jelly and you want to kiss him.

“Should I keep going, bunny? Or go back to Y/n?”

You whine at him, “Noooo, Rin…”

Suna can’t help but think how cute you are. He can't help but want to pull more reactions out of you. He manhandles you onto his lap and you're squirming around a little too much.

“Watch it, bunny. If you don't stop you're gonna make this hard for the both of us.”

You stop squirming and cover your face with your hands trying to fight off your blush and embarrassment.

“Rintaro! You can't just say shit like that!”

“Oh? So you want me to get hard? Bunny, you're nasty, aren't you?”

He wraps his hands around your back and snuggles you right next to him so he can whisper naughty things into your ear.

“Bunny, if you wanted me that's all you had to say. I'm all yours, yeah?”

He brings his mouth to plant sweet kisses onto your neck and you're so embarrassed and in shock this is happening to you, you don't react immediately.

Then you feel his teeth sinking into your skin and you let out a breathy moan.

“Oh? What's this? You like being bitten, little bunny?”

“S-shut up, Rin…”

He huffed a laugh against your skin and continues to kiss and nibble at you. He's determined to mark you up so everyone can see just who you belong to.

He moves his hands so they are under your clothes touching your soft skin and it feels so good to have him touching you like this.

“Rin, more, please…”

And who is he to say no to a pretty little bunny?

He gives you the sweetest kiss which is all the warning you get before he's thrusting his tongue into your mouth.

You moan into the kiss and he soaks it up. Your tongues are battling and you've never experienced such euphoria in your life. If you could die right now you would be happy.

He removes himself from your mouth and you whine out a protest.

“Hush, bunny. Open up, yeah?”

You look at him questioningly but do as he says anyway. You open your mouth wide and loll your tongue out just a little bit and he groans at his obedient little bunny.

He stares you dead in the eyes and slowly drops some of his spit into your mouth.

“Don’t swallow until I tell you to, bunny.”

He watches the way his spit runs down into your throat and his dick swells tremendously.

“Okay, sweet baby. Swallow for me, yeah?”

You start to grind down onto his clothed cock and, fuck, it feels so good.

He grabs your hips and helps you rub your tiny little cunt all over him.

“Feel good, bunny? Hmm?”

“Y-yes Rin, feels so good… More…”

“More? Here, bunny? Are you sure?” He laughs into your skin.

You're so delirious with lust it doesn't really occur to you where you are, just that you need to feel him inside you.

“Are you sure bunny? I don't know if your little cunt can take me like this…”

You pout at him, “I can do it, daddy…”

He stiffens at the name. That's new.

“Daddy, please…”

Suna is pretty sure you have no idea what you're saying to him but how can he deny you when you're begging him so sweetly?

“Alright, pretty bunny, let daddy take care of you, yeah?”

Your eyes sparkle in utter happiness and he's struck back for a second. You're going to be the death of him, he thinks.

He goes to move your panties to the side and scoffs. As if he could even call these panties. It's basically a piece of string covering your little cunt.

So, he rips them in two.

“Rintaro! You can’t just rip my fucking underwear!”

You’re pouting at him and, fuck, he wants to shove his cock down your sweet little mouth. Another time, perhaps.

“Hush, baby. I'll buy you more. Not that it was covering much anyway.”

You're about to give him an earful before he's shoving a finger into your sopping cunt.

“Wow, bunny. You're soaked. Is this all for little ol me?”

He's leisurely pumping a long, thick finger in and out of your cunt and it has your thighs quivering.

“Yes, Rin, all for you, always for you,” you cry into his neck.

And all too soon he's taking his finger out and you look into his eyes and watch as he sucks your arousal off of his finger.

“Alright, bunny. Take my cock out.”

You're reaching down to his jeans and just seeing his bulge makes your cunt throb. Fuck, you cannot wait to have it inside you.

You slowly take his cock out and of course it's big and pretty just like him. Can't really say you're surprised about it.

He watches you as your eyes widen in excitement and softly stroke his pretty cock.

“You like what you see, bunny?”

You don't even spare him a glance while you lick your lips and nod softly. You very much do like what you see.

“Alright, sweetheart. It's gonna be a tight fit. Are you sure you want this here?”

“Yes, yes. Rin, please, daddy, please if you don't shove your dick inside me soon I will explode!”

He laughs at your word vomit. You're just so unbearably cute and there is no way in hell he can ever deny you.

“Alright, sweet bunny. Get ready, okay?”

Even when hes about to fuck your brains out, you cant believe how sweet he actually is.

He spits on his dick and lifts you up ever so slightly so he can slip the head inside your quivering hole.

Not that he needed the extra lubrication, he just wanted to make sure it was extra sloppy.

The fat head of his cock makes its way past your folds and you close your eyes with a silent, open mouthed moan.

“Shh,” he coos at you, “look at my sweet little baby, taking my cock raw. Does it hurt, bunny?”

He thinks he hears you growl more at him and he chuckles into the night.

And then he’s sinking you lower and lower and lower, until he's inside you.

All of him is inside you and, fuck, he wants to live in your cunt.

“You take me so well, sweetheart. Were you made for me? Is this cunt made only for me?”

You're babbling a symphony of yes, more, all for you daddy and it's doing everything in his power to not pound you like an animal.

“Rin,” you whine into his ear, “if you dont start moving now im going to walk away and never look back you stupid-”

He grabs your hips and lifts you till he's barely inside you and slams you down onto him.

You're squeezing him so tight, your cunt fluttering around his cock and he's trying not to finish right then and there.

“You're on top bunny, come on, show me, help me out, yeah?”

You can't hear anything; you just have this raw, vicious need for his cock to split you in half.

You start moving up and down as hard as you can and it's the most beautiful feeling you've felt in months.

He's helping you so he reaches a little deeper, you are involuntarily squeezing his shaft, so lost in pleasure.

No one has ever fucked you like Suna Rintaro is currently fucking you.

You're pretty sure no one else will ever measure up to him.

He's sucking hickies all over your unblemished neck, a feral growl in him knowing he's the one who's gonna have his marks all over your precious body.

“S’at feel good, baby? You like when I bite your neck and slam you on my thick cock, bunny?”

“Yes, daddy, yes I love it so much, please more!”

And then he really puts you to work.

He's slamming you down onto him as hard as he can. Your heady arousal is absolutely soaking him. It's so filthy and nasty and perfect and you wouldn't have it any other way.

“God, fuck. You're perfect, bunny. Touch your sweet little clit for me?”

You're so lost in pleasure you don't hear him through the haze of your arousal.

He growls into your ear, “Touch your fucking clit and make yourself cum on my cock or you’re never getting this dick again, bunny.”

You whimper out into the night sky and sluggishly move your hand to your poor, throbbing clit.

You press your finger gently onto it before matching suna’s rough pace.

“God, how can you get any fucking tighter. Its like fucking a virgin, at this point.”

Which makes you rub your clit faster, “Daddy, daddy, please m so close, wanna cum all over your pretty cock!”

He wraps a pretty hand around your throat and demands, “Cum, bunny.”

You cum so hard you see white.

You're moaning and he shoves his tongue into your mouth.

Your cunt is fluttering around his so fucking deliciously he cant help but slam you down one last time and fill your guts with his semen.

You're still shaking in his arms from your orgasm and he just holds you and kisses you through it until you finally relax.

You blink up at him, trying to get some clarity in your eyes.

“Either you're an angel, or you're sent straight from hell. How can the best fuck of my life be at some shitty college party?” You ask him. And then it hits you.

“OH MY GOD, Suna! Why did you let us fuck at some shitty college party?!”

He laughs loudly at you.

“Bunny, you asked. I delivered. Shouldn't you be thanking me?”

“Oh, yes. Thank you so much, Suna-sama, for defiling me at a nasty frat party!”

“Baby,” he smiles mischievously, “anything for you.”

You're laughing into his skin when all of a sudden someone is throwing a towel? at your head.

“Hey, what the fuck-”

You turn to look at the offending fucker and you just see a blushy Tadashi and smirking Kei.

“Kei! Tadashi!” And then you remember Suna’s softening cock is still inside you.

“I cannot believe you nasty fucks couldn't wait until you were at someone’s house. Outside of a party. You're kidding.”

“Shut the fuck up, Kei. Mind your business!”

Suna pulls you protectively to his chest.

Kei laughs at him and rolls his eyes, “Relax lover boy, Tadashi is all the ass I need.”

Tadashi turns into an even blushier mess and hisses at him, “Kei! You don't have to be so lewd!”

They're turning to leave when Kei graces you with a parting gift.

“Good job, Y/n. It only took you 4 years to talk to your crush.”

Fuck. You're going to murder him in his sleep. You know where he lives. You have his key.

“What does that mean, bunny?”

You groan into his chest; you were hoping to avoid this topic forever if you could.

“Ughhhhh, I saw you when you played against Karasuno at nationals and I've just kind of had a crush on you since then,” you say really fast hoping he'll drop it.

Unfortunately, he does not drop it. 

“Well, I guess I have a lot of time to make up for then, don't I, sweet bunny?”

Your heart flutters and you place a heart stopping kiss to his soft lips.

“Can we go now?”

You laugh and yeah. You guess you’re kind of glad you came to this stupid frat party and had a class with Suna Rintaro.

[heyitsyn]

Keeping Up With Seijoh Ep. ∞

a/n: this made me tear up a bit ngl bc haikyuu always hitting us with ‘theres no next year for us’ typa bull like BLS TAKE PITY ON MY SOUL AND STOP TIME AND KEEP MY BOYS TOGETHER :(((((((

it has an infinity symbol bc this is in the future so there isnt really an episode number 

for more seijoh content, check this masterlist out!

anon:

the third years coming back to seijoh the following year for a surprise visit, and watching over practice cuz they were in town for break. being impressed on how kyo has calmed down (a bit), kunimi actually giving a sh-, yknow the deal. just the growth of their kouhai makes them 🥺🥺 but THEN- Y O U walk in with the team’s bottles n the small gasp that comes out of your mouth when you see them. they GAWK cuz you’re maturing SO well (stfu oikawa- my eyes up are here) and just 🥺🤲

SO LIKE UNLESS YOURE NEW TO MY BLOG YOU KNOW THIS FINNA BE A SAD ONE BC SEIJOH THIRD YEARS ARE MY FAVORITE BOIS AND THEM GRADUATING MAKES ME :(

oh god here comes the tears

so

it was something you knew was coming since yanno, third years and all that

but you were so sure you had more time left before it happened

didnt you just join the team and met them like yesterday?

nope love you met nearly a year ago

and they made quite an impact on you in the short term you were together

so during the day of graduation

it wasnt really a school day since it was mostly for third years and the whole ceremony but kouhais could come so they could send off their senpais

you already called each third year the night before, nearly 2 hours per boy, to talk to them and cry with them so you didnt have to cry during the day

but ofc

you were sobbing already when you saw your captain walk up and get his tube with the diploma inside

they tried to remain strong as they sat in their seats but a single glance at you and the team at the stands above, the tears were already either forming or full out slipping

i know yall finna beat me up for this but im not really familiar with the other third years in the team bc theyre not really shown in the anime or manga that much so i dont have a good grip on their character so can we pls pretend theyre not in here?? omg pls dont kill me though

the ceremony felt like a long time for the seniors but when it was finally over, they ran out of that building and yall did too and you bolted yourself into the arms of your captain

oikawa held you tightly against him and he didnt care about being seen by his fangirls, who were waiting outside for him, or the others who wanted to have you to them too

‘i love you, y/n-chan’

he mumbled and you nodded

‘mhm. i love you too, oikawa-san. i love all my boys’

YALL MY HEART IS BREAKING BC OIKAWA ACTUALLY MEANT IT THIS TIME AND YOURE STILL OVER HERE THINKING THAT HES JUST SAYING IT AS A FRIEND LIKE IM-

iwa ripped you away from him and your face was buried into his chest

but it didnt last long since the others got a little impatient and just joined the hug turning it into a group hug

‘i dont want you to leave!’

kindaichi sobbed and kunimi sniffled, holding on tighter to the backs of his senpais

even kyo was sad but hes a tuff boy so he easily hid that behind his usual frown and glare

after seeing their parents and reassuring them they would be home soon, you started your trek towards your usual hang out spot

the second and first years were walking ahead of you while the third years fell back in step with you in between them

mattsuhana flanked your left while iwaoi were at your right

the tears were now gone but sniffles still filled the area and everyone was still down in their spirits

you held tightly to the warm big hands of iwaizumi and the soft touch of mattsun’s hand as if you were clutching your life-line

but you knew no matter how tightly you held on to them, they would still go and eventually leave you behind

the ramen shop was filled with another round of tears as everyone realized that this would be the last time seijoh og would have ramen here

‘WE DONT WANT YOU TO GOOO~~~~!!!!!!’

kindaichi sobbed while kunimi aggressively shoved noodles in his mouth to hide his hiccups

you refused to eat because you were so sad that you were scared you might end up throwing it all up later so you settled on relishing your time with the boys

oikawa was busy talking to yahaba and telling him tips and tricks for next year while iwaizumi was consolling the others who were crying

that left you to harshly wipe off the tears and focus on the jokes that matsuhana were telling to help and lighten up the mood

‘think of it like this! you won’t have oikawa and iwaizumi fighting anymore!’

well,,,,,

that kinda made things worse

geez makki stfu!!!!

you bursted into full tears and you sobbed, loudly and freely

‘WAAAAAHHHH!!!!!’

you wheezed and then continued to cry

everyone flinched and got startled at the sight of you crying

theyve seen you cry before but not this intensely and sadly 

‘DONT GO!!! OU-OUR FAMILY’S GONE!! ITS B-BROKEN NOW!!!!’

you wailed

everyone is so used to seijoh antics that they didnt even bat an eyelash when everyone started crying

‘damn it, i was trying not to cry!’

iwa growled and buried his face into his hands to hide the pain in his eyes

‘come here, y/n-chan’

mattsun cooed while sobbing and you went straight into his arms and his arms tightly wounded around you

he pressed kisses on your neck to calm you and he whispered promises to keep you from thinking that you would be alone

the boys were all still crying even when you paid for them and at the exit, everyone wouldnt let go of each other

ngl it was a weird sight of seeing these boys just hanging on and hugging the others and you were tightly pressed against makki’s chest 

‘dont cry, y/n-chan. we’ll be here, always. just a 4-hour ride to tokyo’

he promised but you shook your head

‘--too far’

you mumbled and he was able to make out a few words and he laughed

‘i swear you’ll see us in a few hours’

it took a few words of assurance from makki and eventually mattsun and iwa joined

oikawa stayed back because he already wanted to walk you home and iwa knew you were the one that was the hardest for oikawa to tell his plans to

waving them good bye, you fussed and made sure everyone was not crying anymore

‘you text me the moment you get home, all right? and kyo-san, let the food in your stomach settle before-’

‘before i take a bath-yea i know’

he rolled his eyes but he smiled lightly before hugging you

‘go home now, y/n’

he pushed you towards his captain but you pulled away one last time to give each boy a kiss on the cheek

their lips trembled, especially the third years, and wanted to keep their tears in but they rocket launched to space

yanno that one part in season 1 when kiyoko told them to work hard and then they just snot-rocketed and cried

oikawa interlaced your fingers as you both walked towards your house and it was quiet

you were sus bc it was too quiet and oikawa would usually be either skipping, humming a tune, or just yapping his ass off

but right now

he was quiet, slouchy, and,,,, not oikawa

you looked up to see his face and you knew it wasnt just the graduating part

it was like,,,, he was nervous

you squeezed his hand and that got his attention

‘oikawa-san, whats wrong?’

he suddenly stopped and your linked hands caused you to also stop so you watched him stare down at his shoes and you blinked at him in confusion

‘oika-’

‘y/n, tell me to stay’

he,,, sounded like he was begging

pleading

desperate to hear you say it

‘why should i?’

you asked and he finally lifted his eyes to stare into your eyes

he gulped before further explaining himself 

‘coach got me a volleyball scholarship’

he whispered and your eyes widened before you launched into him for a hug and pulled back to cup his face

‘oh my god! tooru! a scholarship?! im so proud-’

‘in argentina’

he finished and your eyes dimmed, the lifted corners of your lips falling into a frown

‘o-oh’

you stuttered and pulled your hands away but he grabbed them, placing them back to his face 

‘but if you dont want me to go, i wont-’

‘NO! what?! tooru, its your dream! you and iwa-san wouldnt stop talking about that match with argentina and-and you want to go there! dont you dare let that slip away!’

you scolded frantically however oikawa’s face scrunched before he started crying

‘i-i can’t! y/n, i’ll be alone! its so far away! far from iwa, far from you-’

then you reached to your tippy toes and kissed his nose then leaned back with a big smile

‘no matter how far, ill always be right here. im always going to be here, waiting for you’

you mumbled and oikawa hiccuped then leaned his forehead against yours, eyes clashing that was so full of love and fear

‘then dont you worry, y/n-chan. oikawa-senpai will work really hard and he will come back and make you happy’

he whispered and you pulled him even closer to give him the biggest hug

‘im looking forward to it’

TIMESKIPTIMESKIPTIMESKIPTIMESKIP

ONEYEARONEYEARONEYEARONEYEAR

truth to be told with guilty conscience, the third years havent really been in touch

yes theyve called and messaged but there wasnt a normal kind of communication, especially with oikawa

but they decided to go over there during a simultaneous week break for universities in tokyo and iwa, makki, and mattsun pressured oikawa to fly back to japan just for a week to visit

‘iwa-chan im so broke righ-’

‘fine, we’ll see y/n ourselve-’

‘OKAY FINE! HERE! IM BUYING THE TICKET NOW SEE?!’

bahahaha im sorry i love oiks so much its not even funny

they agreed to not tell anyone, even coach, to surprise you all and to see your faces of surprise bc mattsuhana are little shites and they love to mess around

it was a normal day during practice

yahaba was teaching some first years how to serve while watari was giving exercising tips on how to bend their knees without shrieking in athritis

kyotani was doing jump serves while kindaichi and kunimi tried to block him

it was a normal day

the former third years knew the ins and outs of the place and oikawa still had his keys of the gym since he never gave it back so they were easily able to sneak in

they sat on the bleachers and observed everyones growth which really blew them away and took them aback by how much they improved in little time

like kunimis actually huffing and throwing a mini tantrum bc hes so into it and hes mad he didnt get that block right

they also noticed the larger amount of new recruits and based on their practice, it looks like they would be in good hands for the next few years

however, the true shock settled in when this happened

kyotani cursed loudly when the ball hit out but yahaba scolded him for saying a bad word in front of the first years

‘kyotani, dont say that anymore! its not good to teach the babies bad words!’

he ranted and the college boys shared a look of caution and fear, bracing themselves for kyotani’s normal screaming and tantrum for being called out

but they were the most surprised when the bleach-haired boy simply glared at him and turned away to go pick up another ball to hit

‘did,,,, did kyoken-chan-’

‘was he just calm right now?’

‘oh my god iwa-chan kyoken-chan got abducted by aliens!’

I SWEAR TO GOD ITS LIKE THE CURRENT THIRD AND SECOND YEARS GOT AN OIKAWA ‘IWA-CHAN’ SENSOR BECAUSE THE MOMENT HE SAID THAT, THEIR EARS TWITCHED AND THEY JUST KNEW

THEIR SENPAIS WERE HERE

their eyes were wide and their attention snapped towards the bleachers where indeed, their 4 fathers sat

‘OIKAWA-SAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!’

kindaichi screamed and he NYOOMED towards the stairs but kunimi grabbed him by the collar

‘come down here, senpais!’

yahaba urged and coach and naoi shared a look of initial shock but then transformed into happiness

it was nice to see the family together again

they quickly turned into a dog pile with the hugs that were given around like kyotani actually giving iwaizumi a hug and makki and mattsun affectionately ruffling everyone’s hair

the other first years were just staring in awe at the legendary third years of seijoh that theyve heard so much about

‘everyone, these are your seniors!’

yahaba presented and the 3 third years became very flustered but ofc attention whore oikawa soaked it up

‘yes, hello, my little disciples! you are my legacy so work har- IWA-CHAN!’

he was cut into his famous line when his best friend bonked him for being too self-absorbed again

‘waaa, l/n-senpai was right’

some first year mumbled at the scene and their ears perked up at the name

‘l/n?’

‘where is she?! y/n-chan!’

oikawa shouted and looked around

BECAUSE OF FATE

YOU AUTOMATICALLY MANIFESTED THERE

‘YES YOU CALLED’

okay no but you actually walked in just in time, carrying the crate of water bottles, focused on not dropping them so you didnt really see the others

they were silent not because they wanted to mess with you and see how long youd figure out that they were there

no

they were silent because of how BEAUTIFUL you became

you gained a few inches and your hair is now longer with your baby fat slowly melting away and you were also finally showing your growth with your body

the eyes that used to gleam with childish innocence was now mature and poised like a perfect lady

even the way you walked with a crate made it seem like a ballet performance with the grace at every step and the flowery aura you exuded

you have turned from a ridiculously cute and pretty girl to a beautiful goddess

AND YOU WERE ONLY IN YOUR SECOND YEAR HOW THE HELL ARE THEY SUPPOSED TO HANDLE IT WHEN YOURE FINALLY A THIRD YEAR?!

CAN YOU IMAGINE THE AMOUNT OF BOYS THEY HAVE TO WARD OFF?!

‘my god’

iwaizumi mumbled, flushing red and turning away to hide his fluster

‘beautiful’

oikawa whispered and he gulped, not remembering how strikingly attractive you are

‘have mercy’

makki whined softly, clutching his heart as it started beating fast and made his stomach feel all funny

did they act like this back in the day?

mattsun doesnt have control so he ran forward and you were just putting the crate down when you were lifted off of the floor and twirled around

so like yahaba waved off the others to go back to practice so its like not awkward to be standing around and see this happening

there was only one person who did this to you

‘mattsun-san?!’

you shrieked and you giggled happily as he put you down so you were able to hug him properly and eventually, catching sight on the others behind him

your gasp made them smile widely and you pressed a hand to your mouth to hide the shock and your overjoyed laugh

if they could take a picture of this and remember the amount of love your eyes held and the pure unfiltered happiness that swirled in those orbs

it was like they felt themselves falling in love with you all over again

‘oh my god everyone’s here too!’

you ran to them and jumped at the awaiting arms of iwaizumi and he was still the bara arm babie you remembered

‘i missed you, doll’

he whispered

‘hmmm,,,i missed you more’

he let you go and you skipped over to makki who engulfed you in his arms and you felt his soft brown hair because you remembered he loved it when you ran your fingers through his hair

‘youve grown! so much! you got even more beautiful!’

he exclaimed and you giggled, bashful at his compliment

‘hmm~, no i didnt’

he gave you a deadpan look and you chuckled before scurrying away towards the one you wanted to hug the most

he definitely got more toned and he got taller too

you didnt have any time to react since he grabbed you and squished you against him

‘youre here, oikawa-san’

he nuzzled his head against your neck

‘mhm, im here now, y/n-chan’

he placed a kiss on your nose and you scrunched your face but there was a big smile that was clear

then oikawa’s eyes trailed from your face to your,,, ahem,,, girls

‘jesus, y/n-chan really grew, huh’

he complimented and you blinked confusingly before trailing after his eye’s gaze and it landed on your chest and you punched him

‘urusai, oikawa-san! my eyes are up here! youre so perverted. pervert oikawa-san’

you pouted and moved to seek comfort in the arms of makki

‘hmm, oikawa’s perverted as usual. i think it got worse with all those argentinian women’

makki teased and mattsun joined to poke fun at their captain

oikawa whined and told iwa they were making fun of him to which his own best friend betrayed him and starting teasing him too

you simply watched on and your eyes watered, your sniffles catching their attention

‘eh? why are you crying, y/n-chan?’

oikawa asked while approaching you to wipe your tears with his thumbs

but you shook your head with a teary smile

‘n-nothing-just,,,, i missed you guys. an-and im so happy because its like our f-family’s back together and i just-i-’

you cried but it was out of happiness and their hearts warmed

ofc they felt guilty because they were aware that they werent as in touch as they shouldve been so you probably felt lonely and casted aside without any contact from your boys

but they know now to make sure you feel loved and cared for because as you keep saying, they were your boys

they were a family

seijoh is a family 

and you love them 

but they love you more

a/n: okay im sorry this is probably trash and all over the place and im crying and stressing but ive been writing in between my college alg homework and its been so hard like WHY IS NUMBERS SO HARD LIKE WHAT-?! but this has kinda been the baby of my break time and relaxing few minutes bc i procrastinate too much and i want to do something i like before i actually go insane and i promise PROMISE that once everything is cleared up i will edit this and im already working on the other requests so expect a few to be out by the end of the week or something like that!!

[iamtheempress]

Cold Blooded

A Dragon Ball Horror Fic {Part 11}

☆☆☆

Frieza’s slow. Patient. Methodical. With every step his little smile returns to his face as he sees the lab with which he made his first realization he felt something towards her. Its almost sentimental to him. 

From within the sterile lab the petrified scientist looked for anything. Anything at all to defend herself, then ran to the opposite door. The only one used to escape by the incinerator. So much for that. With the power out and backup generator fried the only thing working is this horrible white light blinking on and off in the lab…

Shes fucked. SHes fucked and she knows it.. No goodbye to Vegeta or anything. Her tomb is her laboratory. A place of creation. “Dammit...DAMMIT!” she shouts and her eyes meet with the vials of liquid that could potentially save her life... 

The corrosive material. The same which she used to pierce his membrane.

“Perfect…” She whispered out, only to be taken from thought fromthe door creaking open. 

“If theres anything that is perfect here, my dear Carlie it is you…” Hes more clear here, hes golden… this is his form he was talking about right. Its nightmarish and sleek.

“I hate to make things so short but i must inform you my dear… this is your last time on earth… from here i have a fleet at my command waiting for OUR arrival. You will never return to this wretched dirtball again for as long as you shall live.” He promises crossing the room with both arms locked prim and proper at the base of his spine he now easily towers over her, whereas before he was exactly her height.

Shes cornered. The position shes put herself in is foolish at best. Caught between Frieza and a concrete wall and a counter top with 50 vials of liquid.

“And if your moronic primate and his little friends find it necessary to hunt you down…” He raises his hand to her cheek and she flinches, his thumb grazes her bottom lip. Solid scarlet red eyes focused on her mouth and then her eyes as he leans closer. “Ill kill them one by one… and ill make sure that you watch. As my empress you will see that your former friends perish appropriately…” Carlie pipes up as Friezas now mere inches from her lips. 

“And i have no say in any of this… your just going to fucking take me..” She chokes out a cry, tears threatening to spill down her flush cheeks. “OHOHOHOHOHOHOHOOOO!! Carlie Carlie CARLIE!!! You never had a choice… you accepted me like a true friend… instead of cowering in fear of me… and you assume I WOULDNT take the opportunity to snatch you up??? Your a prize to be won… and one i wont let go to waste for the likes of that brutish little runt of a monkey…” He comments, absolutely preening with success and excitement. 

Carlie reached behind her and grabbed the rack of vials and brought it over her head into the crown of Friezas head, smashing it and pouring the corrosive material all over the Emperor and onto his flesh. The human woman bared her nails and threw any and all caution to the wind. 

“What in the-you…” Frieza backed up adn looked at his shoulders and didnt notice the human girl lunging at him with nails digging into his neck and dragging down harshly. Cutting clean into his flesh leaving a deep scratch like a wild cat.

“You made the worst decision, Carlie…” Frieza lulled grimacing. The scientist reared back and punched the emperor in the face square in the teeth. A tooth came out… he got some of the acid in his mouth too. Carlies minor victory was short lived. With blinding speed Frieza snatched the humans neck and gripped it. Forcing her to the ground. 

“Out of every smart thing you have done, Carlie. That was certainly the stupidest thing any human has ever done. So yes. A job well done is in order. You have infuriated the Emperor of the Universe to the point where i wlll not take pity upon you..” While choking under the golden tyrants grip she used all the strength she had inher not to pull his hand from her throat but to scratch and mangle his chest and any exposed area. With reckless and careless abandon. Shes mindlessly fighting back to achieve a hollow victory.

A very hollow victory. 

“F-Fuck you! Fuck you and y-your damned offer to be a fucking empress! Im Vege-AAAAH!” SHe screams loudly when the worst pain entered her stomach. A fucking death beam straight into her stomach and out her back. 

“You are a filthy mouthed little whore. You were coppulating with the primate, do you truly think id want my reproductive organs anywhere near your own when that monkey has slavved about inside of you…” Friezas fingers tighten more around her neck, her eyes wide and blood shot. 

“Tut tut now… I wanted to actually see this serum your so proud of in action.. Dont go dying on me n-” She reaches her arms up and scratches hellishly at his neck gasping for air that will never reach her pretty lips. He lifts her head abit and moves her head… Like its some sick fantasy to see someone teetering on the edge of life and death so callously.. 

Her eyes wept as she now kicked and scratched as the grinning tyrant… who bit his lip ensuring shes getting closer to death.. The blood she was laying on was her own but the blood that dripped on her from him was cold..

Friezas just as cold blooded as the life fuel that runs through his veins… “You feel that? That is because of you you wretch.. I offered you my blood for your hoidy toidy experiments. I know you done amazing things with it.. You can SEE me as you take your last breaths..OH THATS RIGHT!! I almost forgot.” He smiles and takes a needle and shoves it into her neck as the vision slipped and she was just about to cusp into the otherworld. 

With that very press of her serum coursing through her veins she understood how potent and strong it truly was… She felt alive. Rejuvenated. Her heart pounding and face dark blue from him squeezing the air from her lungs. “See? It worked! And you got to see it yourself… You should be sooooooo proud…” 

Carlie closed her mouth and looked right up at Frieza with petrified eyes. Shaking and feeling the life slip slowly from her body. “I will remember that when i see Vegeta again… that i was the last thing you ever seen… not that he would give a damn…” He sunk down and pressed his lips firm against the cold girls lips, molding them to hers, for several seconds Frieza felt euphoric… eyes closed and reveling in his first and her final kiss.

Before he could pull away he crushed her throat beneath his grip and felt her go limp beneath him. His lips smack as he pulls away from the body of the woman he wanted to call his empress… Frieza stared at her.. At her corpse.. At her hand and then at the ring.

Then up at the window to the viewing room.. HIs neck and chest was ruined.

Scratched and mangled to high hell. Carlies last stand displayed on his neck. Permanently.

The emperor knelt down and took the ring from her corpse and pushed hair from her face, and exited capsule corp out the back and into the night. Emotions very unclear in Friezas head, he was silent. Brooding. Depressed.

Several minutes pass. Capsule Corp was silent.. A dome with a lone corpse inside waiting to be found.

Bulma had returned with Goku and Vegeta who opened up Capsule Corp from its power shut down. Lights thrown back on and the search was on. Vegeta tore up everything. Bulma said nothing and allowed him to search for her. 

“Do you think Frieza escaped with her??” Goku questioned following Vegeta to the door to Carlies lab. Vegeta remained silent, his heart pounding in his ears. He stopped dead in his tracks upon finding the mangled door to the lower lab. 

“No…” The prince burst down the stairs to the most grizzly scene he had ever bared witness too. Despite destroying entire planets and killing millions in his time while working for Frieza.. 

No death had affected him so horribly then her own.

Bulma started weeping, as Vegeta lifted her in his arms. Kneeling in a pool of her own blood. It felt like an eternity before he spoke..

“Kakarot.. Bulma.. Get the Dragon Balls.”

☆☆☆

@dragonblobz @lilfriezatyrant @gallickingun @kamehamethot @gonuclear @memevember @msgreenverse @lizardhipsdontlie @thotful-writing @supremeleadershitlord​ @memevember​ @dragonball-hcs-or-sum-shit​

[bloomyn]

Can I request a f!reader x giyuu where Giyuu always says he has the worst luck and then he ends up with the Luck Pillar for an S/O? And maybe Giyuu doesn't have that bad of luck after all 🥰 you can make it fluffy or smutty but just Giyuu with an outgoing extrovert s/o. Pls. 💛

lucky ; lucky

pairing: giyuu x reader

tags: fluff

a/n: awwwww soft giyuu makes me soft (for lack of better wording) + whole bunch of word vomit

｡･:*:･ﾟ★,｡･:*:･ﾟ☆

sanemi practically doubled over.

“TOMIOKA! TOMIOKA-SAN WHAT HAPPENED!”

the water pillar clenched his fist. 

“nothing.”

it was, not actually nothing. this last mission had left with with half dyed hair and  pink stained skin. dont ask him, he had no idea how it happened. 

“is that you giyuu - san?” mitsuri chirped. he sighed, reluctantly turning around to face the love hashira only to be met with not only mitsuri but you as well. immediately, he flushed, turning back around and completely forgetting that sanemi was still dying on the floor laughing at him.

“i-i just have bad luck.”

you laughed, flicking a rock at him. “hey! im right here you know!”

he just wanted to curl up and die.

---

giyuu crept into the estate, annoyance written clear on his face. it hadnt been a great week. no, he hadn’t been killed and yes he had been able to defeat the demon but wow did it come with its consequences. it wasn’t dyed hair or skin, or a knocked tooth, or falling into cow dung, no, those had all happened last month. he could already hear other hashira’s laughter about his situation, if the universe was at all listening he was practically begging for a bit of decent luck-

“giyuu-san? what are you doing?”

he froze in his tracks. frick, he had been so close to the infirmiry too. 

“giyuu-san?”

he rolled his shoulders back and took a deep breath. of course, of course it had to be you. the one hashira he didn’t want to run into. no, it wasn’t because he hated you, it was, quite the opposite actually. 

he felt your hand on his shoulder and thank god for the darkness because if you had seen the dark flush run down his face he would’ve died and ascended into the sky right then and there. he looked down at his feet, trying to come up with the right words to say, but he didn’t have to.

you had already grabbed his wrist and started to drag him down the hall.

“i know you don’t really want to draw attention to yourself so you can rest in my room for now!.” you whisper-yelled. “i already have some supplies.” he wanted to tell you that well, yes he didn’t want to draw attention to himself but with you around he probably would anyway. not that he minded of course, he secretly loved the way you managed to keep a bubbly persona even if he couldn’t reciprocate it.

he was hit with a waft of sweetness as he stepped into your room. 

“take a seat!”

“ah, ne, [name] - san?”

you hummed, turning around to get the supplies out of your kit. 

“how did you know i was there?”

“where?” you asked, “in the court yard?”

he nodded. he had silenced his foot steps and breathing, and he knew he was good at slipping around , so how had you managed to catch him?

you shrugged. “just lucky i guess.”

he sighed. “would you mind sharing a bit with me?”

at that you laughed, a full on laugh not just a slight breath through your mouth. and on the inside (he would never tell you), it made him feel a bit warm inside. you sat down, taking a seat in front of the blushing water hashira. when he finally peeled off his uniform, and no, you weren’t staring at his rippling abs and toned pecs, you practically fell over.

all over his chest were dumb smiley faces and markings, some good some not so good, hilarious nonetheless. but before you could even mutter a word, the man in front of you sighed.

“i was unconscious. there were some kids.”

you bit the inside of your lip. could you laugh? were you allowed to laugh?

“you can laugh.”

and you howled, your face was all scrunched up, your body keening at the thought of little kids drawing on the oh so scary demonslayer. infront of you, giyuu was red all over.

“awh giyuu-san its okay. they were only little kids.” you said fondly. he groaned, leaning forward to rest his head on your shoulder. 

“please dont tell anyone about this”

---

that was two months ago. and he’s really starting to believe that you actually sent him some luck because he doesn’t want to sound cocky but, he’s been on a roll. no dyed hair, no pesky kids, no accidents.

“tomioka - san!” rengoku boomed. “i heard you managed to get rid of those two demon moons!”

he nodded curtly, “mm”

“all that bad luck seems to be wearing off huh?” rengoku smirked, tossing an arm around the younger man.”

yeah okay, so what if he was spending a considerable more time with you than anyone else? so what if he had unintentionally fallen for you even more? the only issue with those questions was that the answer to both of them was yes and just the thought of you had him red. 

and also, maybe he had read that the interesting about those who practiced breath of luck was that they were able to spread their lucky energy, but only to those who they were truly in love with. 

---

you sighed. “mitsuri-----”

the love hashira rolled over, facing you, a bright smile on her face.

“so did you finally come to your senses and admit your deep loving feelings for our very own tomioka-san?”

ah. of course she knew.

“...yes.”

she squealed, rolling on top you and squeezing your face in between her hands. 

“thank god! i mean i already told him that you were in love with him but--”

you gaped, flipping the pink haired woman over.

“you WHAT.”

“i-i mean he’s in love with you too so...”

“when. did. you. tell. him. this.?” you managed through gritted teeth

she held up a two.

“weeks or days.”

she looked away, “hours.”

you jumped off the girl and sprinted out of the room. oh crap oh crap, you were the luck hashira how was this even happening--

“[name]”

you stopped. 

“g-giyuu - san”

you felt him come up behind you, and then next to you.

“I NEED TO APOLOGIZE--”

“i’m in love with you.”

you choked on your spit, hacking up air and nothingness. giyuu crouched beside you, patting your back. once you’re breathing had returned to decently normal you took a seat next to your crush.

“i wanted to be the one to tell you, you know.” you whispered.

“hmm, i think you did though.”

you furrowed your eyebrows

“breath of luck users can pass their energy off to those which they love, and , um particularly this month i-”

you blinked.

“i didnt think you’d be able to feel it. i thought it was a myth, you could feel it?!”

giyuu nodded, smiling a little at your blushing face.

“i could feel it.”

“AUGH.” you groaned, “thats literally so embarrasing i was trying to project as much as i could onto you because i thought that maybe it wouldnt actually make a difference but you actually found out im so sor-”

a pair of lips on your cheek cut you off.

“dont be sorry, i thought it was”, he coughed into his arm, “romantic.”

you swore you passed out.

“well.” you started, “at least one of us thinks so.”

you turned to meet his eyes and you both dissolved into giggles.

“does this mean im going to get lucky all the time now?” he asked innocently

“g-giyuu!”

---

you swung your laced hands back and forth. besides you, your boyfriend was an entirely new shade of pink. grinning, you planted a kiss on his cheek.

“giyuu- dont be embarrased! im just spreading my luck to you!”

“i shouldve never told you about that.”

[ningdungi]

fairy prince!yeonjun

this has been in my draft for so long since CYSM i decided to just post it...lengthy and messy because originally it was just a prompt :D also inspired by she-ra and the princesses of power lol i love that show

pairing: yeonjun x reader (fem)

genre: fantasy, a little angsty

summary: you got captured by yeonjun, the crown prince of the fairy kingdom in the magic forest

choi yeonjun, the crown prince of the fairy kingdom deep in the magic forest

the fairy kingdom has been one of the greatest protectors of the forest for thousands of years, along with other kingdoms in the magic island

the island being covered almost 1/3 by the forest, the fairy kingdom remains one of the biggest and strongest kingdom to ever exist

however, it is also not the friendliest kingdom as it is hidden deep in the forest to protect the ancient magic and stones

the foreign organization exploits the hell out of the island but never get to touch the forest as it is protected by magic and ancient spirit of the ecosystems

the leader of the evil interstellar organization wasn’t so dumb either, they waited for years preparing the best strategy to get what they want: the ancient magic and (said to be) stolen stones to combine with their crazy technology so they can conquer the universe

the leader of the evil interstellar organization wasn’t so dumb either, they waited for years preparing the best strategy to get what they want: the ancient magic and (said to be) stolen stones to combine with their crazy technology so they can conquer the universe

mistaken for a new kingdom, the evil organization is known for their evil sinister king. When rlly he’s just a capitalist asshole that only cares abt money and power... and his precious daughter—or what the locals call—the evil princess, you

he also has a younger son, prince taehyun, your half-brother, who happens to be a genius and good with technologies. But his father wanted him to be a warrior, not some nerd. So he’s never really fond of him :(

one day you grew tired of being seen as a delicate doll that needs protection, you’re a trained warrior that’s always at least on the top 3 in class. Plus you’re older than taehyun so you need to prove yourself to your father if you want to be force captain and to take the throne one day (yes i’ve been watching a lot of she-ra) but your father just couldn’t risk it

one day, the your kingdom poisoned the forest and unlike any previous failed attempt, this time it finally worked

the day the invasion occurred, you sneaked out of the evil kingdom to join the force that your half-brother co-lead... i mean, you have lots of knowledge about the history and ecosystem of the magic forest, thanks to the help of your best friend, healer elf prince!soobin, whose kingdom had been corrupted by your father (but he still hangs around bc they did no harm to the elf kingdom, just taking over the whole region)

i mean, what could possibly go wrong?

well thee answer is: everything

you got captured IMMEDIATELY by the fairies

even better, you’re captured by the fairy prince!yeonjun himself. you were sneaking in the trees under the moon light, in the dark dark forest. and thats how you ended up being strangled by the prince himself and tied up with vines and thorns

you were in an awe the entire time bc you had no idea that the fairy prince would be this beautiful and ethereal. he just looks so... delicate and magical and soft, despite the fact that he almost choked you to death

you’ve just never seen any creature as beautiful as him, all glowing and sparkling softly under the moonlight

the glimmering luxurious pastel dress that he wore fits him perfectly, and the flower crown on his blonde locks made little butterflies fly upon him. His eyes cold but shines brightly, and everywhere he goes, he leaves trails of fairy dust and sparkles

but to your surprise, he’s kinda mean and short tempered. A frown never leaves his soft peachy lips

one look at you and he goes "... and what could the infamous little princess of the evil kingdom be doing in MY land? doing MEAN and EVIL stuff? hm??”

you’ve heard about the fairies not being the most friendly creature but you thhought they were just vicious, not sarcastic and seems angry all the time

and strangely enough, unlike other fairies, he didn’t have wings. And the flower crown on his blonde hair looked more like horns growing out of his head

he grew impatient from your lack of response but he couldn’t kill you yet, he needed you to get back at the evil kingdom

so he brought you to his kingdom—the kingdom’s prison, to be exact. But it’s just a beautiful chamber filled with wild plants and flowers and glowing fireflies underneath the moonlight, you were kinda confused when he said it’s a prison since the concept of prison that you grew up with is practically just a cold dark chamber of torture

“THIS is your PRISON? you sure you’re not taking me on a fairy date just now? to meet your pretty little fairy friends?” you said with a smug on your face, knowing that he wouldnt dare to intentionally hurt you, as he is a creature of natural protector despite his short temper

so you use this opportunity to annoy the hell out of him

“pretty flower crowns you got there” “btw where are your wings? aren’t all fairies supposed to have sparkly translucent wings?” “honestly i thought prisons are supposed to be a little more dark and intimidating you know, not like this pretty fairy garden”

you’d give him headache and the urge to use some forbidden magic curse on you but he didn’t because your corpse wouldn’t do any good

“these are HORNS! and not every fairy have the same physical features, stop stereotyping us! it’s disrespectful” he snapped

you were just complimenting him why is he always so cranky

i mean his horns look so beautiful they could easily be mistaken as a crown...

after gathering some information, you broke out of the prison with the help of the dying forest and weakening magic force

but you didn’t want to return just yet. you needed to gather more information as the forest started to heal

also you’re kinda lost your way back home lol

your father was FURIOUS, he blamed everyone for your abduction. even your little brother got enough beating for that

as days gone by, you feel like you’re getting closer to the secrets of the island, and also the fairy prince

and every encounter with him it’s just consist of a lot of bickering and sword fighting and being angry at each other

one time your faces were far too close to each other it made you let your guards down, but you snapped out of it quickly and proceed to strangle him

for some reason he never try to actually kill you and you never seem to get the right chance to kill him. it’s weird coming from you bc that’s literally what’s you’re trained for, to kill the prince. you still gotta prove yourself, remember?

but you’re getting used to each other’s presence so much that it became amusing for him

“wow (y/n) this is actually a fun date idea. I’m giving it a 4/10. could’ve been a solid 10 if you didn’t try to stab me in the ribs tho :/“ he said in the middle of a sword fight

one day you’re battling in some strange part in the forest, you were spying on him but got caught

but little did you know, it was one of the forest’s sacred sites. It’s filled with the strongest magic and ancient technology and guarded by forces you don’t know yet

you got struck by some ancient magic, resulting in some strange event to happen. which led you to be captured by the fairy prince yeonjun himself, again

you were kinda weak from the struck so most of the time he’s the one guarding you in the prison, keeping an eye on you and limiting your suspicious moves

so all you can do in the meantime is to either insult his annoyingly beautiful prison or annoy the prince himself

he always seems pissed and suspicious for no reason so it’s kinda fun to you

“are you in pain or something? did you get struck by some strange magic too? why are you always so mean and angry?? are you hurting somewhere ??"

“excuse YOU? am i supposed NOT TO ?? maybe i wouldn’t be so mean and angry all the time if the evil kingdom DON’T try to exploit the forest ALL THE TIME, every think of that? does that ring a bell? here's a hint: i’m talking about YOU, princess (y/n)” he’d roll his eyes, angrily walking in circles. kinda mad at his dad for making him guard you

i mean... there should be enough guards in this castle, right?

little did you know, the magic is actually weakening... leaving the royal bloods’ magic the only force that can protect the forest, for now

“for the hundreth time, i am NOT a princess! i’m a fucking warrior, so stop calling me that!” sometimes you get pissed for his sarcastic remarks and his attitudes in general too. also this time you’re not really feeling well after the struck

“whatever you say, my princess” he’d blow flower petals on your face before giving you a smirk, dancing away gracefully as he picks flowers and tuck them into his flower crown... dozens of flowers immediately grows back for every single flower he picks from the ground, what a sight

you’d blush and try to look away. he never used his magic and charms for this type of things, usually it’s just for some silly pranks or weak attempts temporary torture in the battlefield (bc using magic drains his energy quickly)... so why now? was he really using magic or was is it just you?

after so many encounters and chances of being alone together, you sure know how to get on each other’s nerves... and each other’s head

you were there for a couple days, it’s kinda weird that you didn’t try to escape

turned out you were kinda sick, the strange magic struck weakened your senses and abilities. but you didnt want to admit it nor let him know that you’re literally vulnerable right now

you were smart enough to use this opportunity to get close to him, telling lies about how pitiful your life’s been as a princess and how you just want to prove yourself to your father, you don’t even care about conquering the universe

he didn’t buy that at first, not until you told him about how the evil kingdom sees the forest. you’d say your father thinks the fairies are the bad guys bc they stole the stones from the ancestors of your father’s planet thousands of years ago and that they’re just trying to get it back to heal their dying planet

you didn’t lie at that part, it was true... at least for the invaders. that’s how he kinda get surprised he had to tell the fairies’ version of the story

turned out that it’s all just a misunderstanding between the two parties, but unlike yeonjun being the democratic soon-to-be leader that he is, you still want approval

which you can only get by killing the fairy crown prince yeonjun before his coronation

but jokes on you, you kinda have feelings for him too. you didnt even try to kill him when he fell asleep holding you in his arms... you’d always say to yourself that ‘it wasn’t the right time��� to kill him just yet

of course it wasn’t. there never was, and never will be. you love him, dumbass. even the moon shining upon you the two of you could easily tell

he’d start to tell you secrets... secrets of the forest, his ancestors and families, the kingdom, the magic island, everything

you knew the forest is dying, but what you didn’t know is that he never wanted to be king,, he doesn’t feel like he’s qualified to be one. hell, he doesn’t even have wings, and he’s got horns growing out of his head. no fairy king or queen written in history of the magic island to not have wings, ever

“but it’s not required, right? literally nobody said you’ve got to be born with wings in order to be a fairy king. it’s already in your blood, yeonjun.” you would reassure him as you lift his chin so you can clearly see his eyes... all shaky and scared

he’d kiss you and you swore you almost forgot about your personal mission of luring and getting him into your trap

he told you about when he was just a fairy child... other young fairies and forest creatures bullied him for having horns and no wings,, i mean... he’s a fairy after all. it’s actually really natural, it’s just unusual among the immature creatures

one day he ran away way too far out of the forest... to the giant thorned vine bushes that looked like a cavern... it was dark and scary, he’s never seen this part of the island before

he didn’t know that it’s an entrance to the darker side of the island, where your father landed the ship and invaded a whole region of natural resources and innocent creatures, including the elf kingdom

and then he met a little girl, holding a basket full of flowers and wild berries, with a messy flower crown made of wild flowers on her head. she approached him and asked him softly if he’s lost and why is he crying

he was scared at first because she’s dressed like human, but after a while he learned that she’s harmless. he told her he’s scared that one day he’s gonna turn into a monster bc of his growing horns

“horns? i thought these were a crown... a very peculiar one, i must admit. but didn’t you say you’re a prince? a prince is supposed to wear a crown, right?” the little girl said brightly

“here, let me tuck these flowers in between your hairs and horns... now it’s a flower crown! it’s always been a crown, but now you have flowers!” she would jump around happily, which made the little prince smiled a little too

the story kinda shocked you... could it be that...?

no, snap out of it! it’s not even important nor relevant to your current circumstances

but you never thought that the crown that he proudly wore all the time has been... a growing pain for him

speaking of pain, the part of your back that’s got struck by the strange magic the other day keeps hurting you, and that night it started to get worse, two vertical scars started to form, followed by black liquid running down from each one

“you’re hurt! why didn’t you tell me?” he snapped, his voice filled with worries and anger. maybe it’s because of the fact that black blood could only mean one thing... dark magic

he took care of you and looked after you all the time

and yet you’d still tell him lies... and giving him false hopes

“let’s run away, together... to somewhere far, somewhere safe, we can build our own forever...”

[catboymingi]

mirror, mirror on the wall - veninder chap. 8

navi/masterlist

story masterlist

pairing: mingi x reader

genre: slight angst, fluff; soon best friends to lovers

word count: 6.2k

warnings: language

det har været et problem / siden vi blev alene / [...] / det er kærlighed, det kan være svært - it’s been a problem / since we were alone / it’s love, it can be complicated

mingi had no right to be as cute as he was, still running his fingers through your hair as you were about to start another movie, something that was only interrupted by a message to the group chat.

[san]: he either managed to fix things or y/n broke all his bones

[san]: no matter what it is i support you @y/n

you looked at the redhead with an expression you didn’t even know how to interpret yourself, because you didn’t know what exactly was going on in your head; looking at him had been more of an instinct than anything, but apparently it looked questioning or curious, because he started explaining.

“they almost beat some sense into me. i just really didn’t realise that you didn’t hate me until san was about to kill me, so that’s probably why they suspect you might’ve done the same. not that i wouldn’t deserve it.”

and even though the tiny mean part of you agreed that he did deserve it - maybe not to have his bones broken, but some kind of angry outburst - the much bigger part was able to tell that he was clearly still feeling horrible about it and knew that he hadn't meant to hurt you, and that part shut his self deprecation down right when it started.

"you don't. don't say that. you don't deserve to be hurt at all." your hands had gone back to rest on top of his which were still crossed in front of your body, giving them a small squeeze to show that you weren't angry and didn't harbour any thoughts of hurting him in the slightest.

"thank you."

his forehead was resting on your shoulder and you knew he wasn't just thanking you for saying that he did not, in fact, deserve an ass beating, but also for having accepted his apology so readily. as if there'd ever been any doubt about that, but apparently to him there had.

"what do you want to watch now?", you tried to change the topic, because while you weren't angry or upset with him you didn't exactly want to be reminded of being ignored for so long and also the reason why that had even happened in the first place. you wanted to forget that in this moment, just wanted to enjoy his presence and his warmth and that he was there.

"i don't know. do you have a recommendation?"

you thought some, and you did have one, but you weren't sure if you should suggest it. you'd watched random romcoms with him before, but that had been less a matter of recommending and more a matter of just accepting what netflix suggested. you felt a little awkward recommending a romcom, especially now that you were… in a weird emotional situation. or maybe it wasn't weird, but it wasn't one hundred percent clear where exactly you were, either - you were best friends with feelings for each other and an inability to act on them before you could be certain it wouldn't ruin things. were romcoms appropriate in that context?

"you're overthinking." of course he noticed, and you nodded.

"it's silly, but i feel like it's a little different now that there's… like, not even unspoken feelings, but feelings, in the air. i don't want to, i don't know, lead you on? even though it's not like i wouldn't technically want to lead you on, it's just… i don't know how to say it."

he hummed in reply, because while he didn’t worry about anything of the sorts he could understand why you did.

“just try not to worry. what do you want to watch?”

you didn’t want to overthink anymore, didn’t want things to be awkward, so you told him, even though part of you still felt a little odd. it was the first time you were even remotely close to a relationship, so you didn’t exactly know how to act, but you tried to do as mingi said and not worry too much.

“to all the boys i’ve loved before. i’ve watched it like seven times already, and there’s a sequel, too.”

but you still didn’t move to put it on, so he leaned forward, squishing you in a little between his chest and your legs, and put the movie on.

“it’s this one, right? everything is in finnish”, the last part almost a whine because it was near impossible for him to navigate your netflix.

“mhm”, so he put it on, leaning back again and pulling you with him because he wanted to be close to you and he wanted to hold you. then you stayed like this, watching the movie, in comfortable silence except when one of you let out displeased sounds at the main characters’ inability to figure out their feelings or their dumbass behaviour. you watched the sequel, too, and then more movies that were on your watchlist because mingi honestly didn’t care much about what you were watching as long as he got to hold you, first interrupting your spontaneous movie marathon to eat a little. that was the first time he actually had to let go of you that day, and he didn’t like it, but you had to eat so he accepted his fate.

it was getting somewhat dark about one third through the next movie, something that made you feel very cosy and somewhat sleepy, the screen of your laptop being the only thing that was illuminating your room. it wasn’t late enough to sleep yet, and you weren’t tired enough to sleep yet, but you were aware of the fact that you’d be incredibly tired quite soon, and you wanted to ask mingi if he wanted to stay the night, not if he was still awake enough to go home.

“mingi?” you were surprised that you already did sound somewhat tired - it was probably just because you were so comfortable, and also because crying all week had exhausted you.

“hm?” his voice came from above you, his chin resting on your head as it had for most of the movies.

“where do you want to sleep tonight? we have uni tomorrow.”

“can i stay here?” his voice made it clear that he half expected you to say no, but you wouldn’t.

“if you want to? that’s why i asked.”

“i’ll text the boys to bring my bag. or we could go fetch it together?”

you thought for a moment, then made a decision.

“can we stay at your place? i kind of want to go over when i’m not crying. and your bed is bigger.”

not that you’d need a lot of space - whenever you shared the bed you were wrapped so tightly around each other that you might as well be a single person -, but he agreed. the boys would probably be glad to see that you were doing better, and it might spare him an ass kicking if he brought you over without having broken your heart.

“which movie is this? we can finish it there.”

you texted him the name, then replied to the boys, whose previous messages you had ignored and who were making bets on whether or not mingi was still intact.

[y/n]: were coming over soon and i want ice cream

where the ice cream idea came from, you didn’t know. you just knew that you wanted ice cream now. it was a spontaneous craving, but one that the boys seemed to be willing to fulfil.

[yunho]: which flavour?

[san]: and do we need to plan for mingi too or did you knock out his teeth?

[y/n]: wouldnt he need even more ice cream if id knocked out his teeth tho?

[y/n]: but hes fine

[y/n]: and surprise me

“i don’t think san’s going to let me live this down anytime soon”, the redhead almost whined, and even though you hadn’t even done anything you felt like you should apologise.

“sorry he’s so angry at you.”

“don’t apologise. he just really cares about you, i can’t blame him”, then, to distract you before you’d start overthinking again, “let’s go.”

you shut down your laptop and grabbed your university bag along with your wallet, keys and phone charger, and then you left to the boys’ place, almost falling asleep on the train ride, but if you had your best friend would’ve carried you without hesitation. since you managed to stay awake he opted for carrying your bag instead, holding your hand all the way just so he could be sure you’d stay there with him. sure, the risk of you randomly running away was small, but never zero, and he wasn’t about to risk anything. and he just really enjoyed holding your hand, now having full permission to simp because you were apparently simping as well, though he wouldn’t call it that for you. you were cute, he was embarrassing, or so he felt.

“my favourite!”, san greeted you as soon as you entered, forcibly removing you from mingi because he decided it was necessary to hug you tightly even though he’d last seen you this morning. your linked hands hadn’t gone unnoticed, though, so his next words were him asking you if that meant he had to sleep by himself again.

“i’m sorry, sannie”, and you genuinely seemed to be, because he had been there for you all week and you felt a little bad for “ditching” him like this, even though he’d never blame you or be actually upset. he’d just threaten mingi to wait and see what would happen if he dared to break your heart again, because as much as he’d enjoyed having you there to cuddle he most definitely hadn’t enjoyed the fact that you’d been crying your eyes out on the daily.

“just give me half of your ice cream and i’ll forgive you”, and “deal” you said because it felt like a fair compromise.

“no bones have been broken?”, seonghwa, who had now entered the living room/hallway area as well, asked, and the tall idiot shook his limbs (and managed to kick your lower leg in the process) to show that he was still entirely intact.

“yet”, san warned, glaring at his friend because he’d noticed you flinch when he’d accidentally kicked you.

“don’t hurt him, he needs to dye my hair on tuesday”, you tried to convince the black-haired boy to leave your best friend alone, and that worked as a distraction, because now he was excitedly asking about which colour you’d chosen.

“technically, i chose”, mingi felt the need to make known, because while he wasn’t going to reveal the embarrassing almost-kiss and the following rejection he did want to somehow let the others know that he was still special, still your best friend. like a kindergartener arguing about who was cooler.

“which colour did mingi choose, then”, san repeated his question with the slight alteration, rolling his eyes but smiling because things seemed to be okay again.

“red”, you informed him and the other boys that were now all gathered in the living room and about as curious as san about your soon-to-be makeover.

“is that why your hair looks like this right now? preparation for a whole new look?” yunho hadn’t asked with any malice, but you’d honestly forgotten the mess your hair was whenever you brushed it, especially if you went outside after having brushed it, any humidity higher than 2% leaving you looking like your hair had exploded.

“that’s just what it’s like when i brush it”, exasperated because you were scared they’d think it looked bad - your parents, who had the straightest hair you’d ever seen (which had frequently left you wondering if you maybe were adopted), had always thought it looked bad and told you to straighten it to fit in better, even though there was absolutely no use to straightening it because if you didn’t empty an entire can of hairspray on your head the humidity would make it explode again in no time.

“if you do this in red that’s going to look really cool”, jongho told you, and you were strangely relieved. your hair was quite a source of insecurity, so you were glad they didn’t hate it.

“where’s the ice cream?”

your cravings were still going strong, you wanted ice cream now, and you also wanted to change topic from your hair to something with less focus on you.

“we got several flavours, so you can pick and the rest has to accept whatever you leave for them”, and because yunho had been the one to get the ice cream the boys didn’t even have the right to protest when he explained the rules of ice cream division.

“san, do you like banana?”

the boy in question nodded, so your choice was made. mingi fought for the right to be the next to choose and picked the second tub of banana flavour, and the rest managed to solve it a little more democratically. san was considered the least democratic, however, seeing how he not only had his own but also a third of yours (he’d been joking when he said he wanted half of yours, but you wouldn’t leave him alone until he’d accepted a third of it, at least), and mingi turned out to be more democratic than expected, having fought for the second tub of banana so he could share with you and avoid you getting less ice cream than the rest when you’d been the one to ask for ice cream in the first place.

once the ice cream was devoured everyone moved to do their thing, which, in the case of mingi and you, was finishing the movie you’d started at your place. rewatching, rather, because you couldn’t be bothered to look for where you’d left off. after that you decided to sleep, having to borrow clothes from your best friend again because you’d forgotten to bring a pyjama. he was glad about it, secretly, though he’d never admit it, because he thought you looked cute drowning in his clothes, it made him feel soft.

“goodnight, teddy bear”, laying half on top of him because you’d missed sleeping in his arms and because he was warm and comfortable.

“goodnight, y/n.” and though it wasn’t quite how it should be yet, though you weren’t his, he was happy.

//

having to leave you alone for class was the worst thing life could possibly demand from him, but life didn’t care. he (and the other boys, but that didn’t matter much to him) got to spend lunch with you, though, and you still hung out after university, even though you didn’t need to teach him anymore. monday was over fast, tuesday was almost there, and he was hardly able to fall asleep even though you were again half on top of him because he was so excited to get to dye your hair.

“you’ll look so cool tomorrow”, he informed you when you wanted nothing more than to sleep, but you couldn’t even be mad at him keeping you up because he seemed so excited. more excited than you, even.

“only if you do a good job”, you teased, head on his chest and able to hear his heart race.

“i definitely will.”

“what do i get if you don’t?”

it was just jokes, but he took his chance to make some sort of advance, because while he did want to show you that he genuinely did like you a lot he was still nervous about actually acting on it. what if you’d think he was stupid?

“a cinema date, and i get you all the snacks you want.”

“will you sleep if i say okay?”

you were trying to hide the giddy feeling in your chest by teasing him like this, but you were also starting to get incredibly tired - the clock had already crossed the line between monday and tuesday, and you just wanted to sleep. class wasn’t all too early the next day, but both you and mingi would have to get up early since you were planning to buy the hair dyeing essentials before university, so you needed the sleep.

“fine.” he wouldn’t be able to fall asleep right away, but he could try, at least. and stop moving so incredibly much.

“okay. now sleep, you need to do a good job tomorrow.”

“goodnight”, pressing you tight to his chest because he’d just scored a second date with you.

//

“can you please just turn off your alarms, just one single day?”, the redhead whined out the next morning when it was 5am again and he was forcefully removed from the land of sleep by the tone he’d come to hate because it did this every single morning he woke up with you, and you just plain refused to turn your alarm off by this point.

“maybe if you ask really nicely. good morning.”

then you crawled out from his embrace to turn off the alarm for now, looking at him with a smile on your face. he was still so tired - he’d gotten maybe four hours of sleep because of your inability to get up at a normal time -, and he looked adorable, rubbing his eyes for like ten seconds just to force himself to be a little more awake.

“good morning”, he replied, even though he was still somewhat grumpy at your alarm. he just couldn’t not say it.

“today’s the big day”, the day where you’d finally go back to looking more like you, and also the day where you’d match with the sleepy idiot in your bed. though he seemed significantly less sleepy as he realised that he’d be dyeing your hair today, sitting up so fast you wouldn’t have been surprised if he’d lost balance and fallen off the bed.

it seemed to be pure torture to have to wait for a more appropriate time to leave the flat, seeing how he was constantly checking his phone for the time, but it only left him all the happier when it was finally time to leave. he’d gotten dressed hours ago, in an attempt to get time to pass faster because maybe it would if the time gods saw that he was ready to leave - which it, much to his dismay, hadn’t at all, but it didn’t matter anymore now that he finally got to leave.

the store was near university and he bought everything for you, not wanting to let you pay because it felt like it was a treat for him that you were letting him dye your hair so he didn’t want you to spend money on it, even though you were just as excited. then you went to class, and you were relieved he was there with you when one of the girls approached you when you were about to sit down.

“oh, you went back to the old boytoy? didn’t like the one we picked?” her voice was sickly sweet, and if you hadn’t been clinging to mingi’s hand the way you were he probably would have done something he’d regret later.

“this boytoy is more than ready to do things you really wouldn’t want me to do if you try shit like that again”, steam coming out of his ears if that were anatomically possible, “so i suggest you fuck off.”

you were glad he was towering in front of you, protecting you with his body from someone that was supposed to be your friend, because while the girls hadn’t left you alone since the party reminders of it still hurt. and they’d especially hurt last week, when the redhead hadn’t been there with you, something that hadn’t gone unnoticed and given them a reason for even more teasing. you just wanted to forget all about it and you didn’t want to see the smug expression that would without a doubt be on her face.

“you’re no fun”, but she did leave and you visibly relaxed, the grip on the red-haired giant’s hand loosening.

the class went okay with him there, lunch with the boys was fun (they were teasing a certain redhead about how he seemed to be attached by the hip to you), and the last class of the day went by without any major happenings, either, and then, then it was finally time to go home and dye your hair, something mingi’d been waiting for ever since you told him he could do it. the train ride felt way longer than it usually was, and he decided to pick you up and run with you because he didn’t want to be so slow, a plan that was quickly discarded because running with you on his back did prove to be slightly more difficult than anticipated. he still urged you to hurry, though, and because you were physically unable to not do what he asked you to when he was excited like this you ran the last hundred metres to your dorm’s building, laughing loudly when you were at the door.

once inside he immediately beelined for the bathroom, wanting to start right away, but you told him you’d have to brush your hair first if you wanted a decent dye job.

“can i do it again?” and of course he could, because he was, admittedly, better at doing so without hurting you than you were yourself.

his movements were careful and he once more managed to get rid of all the knots without any major pain, running his fingers through your hair to make sure he hadn’t missed anything before going over to his bag and getting out something that looked suspiciously much like one of his t-shirts.

“i always wear this when i dye my hair, and since it’s already dirty i thought i’d bring it along”, he explained himself, throwing the shirt towards you so you could put it on.

“let me in when you’re dressed.”

your best friend put on the plastic gloves in the meantime - he’d had to buy new ones because your hands were definitely much smaller than his, and so were your plastic gloves -, waiting for his cue to start the dyeing ministrations on your hair. he most likely had a worse case of nerves than you did, because you knew how to treat your hair and he had no idea and he was scared that he’d mess up big time and you’d violently kill him for ruining your hair.

“get to work, teddy bear”, you told him when you opened the bathroom door, and you didn’t need to tell him twice. he prepared the bleach (with some help from you because if the bleach wasn’t just the right texture your hair simply would not accept it and dyeing wouldn’t work), then he carefully spread it on your hair, starting with the tips and working up so your scalp would get a break and you’d be spared the bleach sting for as long as possible. he was careful and you really enjoyed the feeling of his hands in your hair, the attention he was paying to his job, making sure he didn’t miss a spot.

you looked absolutely silly with the blueish paste in your hair, but that was half the fun of dyeing hair, looking like a complete mess until the job was done. because of the amount of hair and bleach you waited in the bathroom rather than doing something else until it was time to wash it out, mingi checking how light your hair was every now and then.

when both of you were pleased with the result he told you to lean over, carefully kneeling next to you, who was now on all fours with only your upper body leaning into the shower, and checking the water temperature before he went to wash out the bleach. his movements were slow and soft, making sure every last bit of bleach was gone before he handed you the towel that you’d used before whenever you dyed your hair black and which was, as a consequence, already covered in colourful little splotches of badly washed out dye and residue pigment that was coming out after showering. when he realised that you wouldn’t be able to grab it without either dripping onto the bathroom floor and all over yourself or landing face first on the shower floor he started drying your hair for you, too, attempting one of those towel turbans but not very successful at it.

“thank you”, you said once you’d sat up, smiling at him. he smiled back, then told you to dry your hair so he could see what you looked like blonde and finally put the red in.

“you’re so impatient”, but you were laughing because it was kind of cute, if you were being honest.

“yes, so hurry up.”

you had no choice but to comply, drying your hair as much as possible with the towel before asking him if he was ready for the big reveal.

“just show me”, the so far still lone redhead whined, and you finally did as he’d begged you to, showing him what you looked like blonde.

“so?”

he didn’t know what to say, because he thought you looked stunning, but he also didn’t want to embarrass himself by saying so when you weren’t even going to keep this hair colour. but maybe one day he’d have to go blond with you.

“if we weren’t going to match i’d tell you to keep this” was how he decided to let you know that he really liked it without seeming all too whipped. but maybe it was time to be whipped, because he did want to show you that the feelings you seemed to doubt were genuine, from his side. so, he added: “you look really beautiful with blonde hair.”

“let’s hope i look good with red, too.” he’d flattered you and you were a little flustered, so you tried to get his attention away from your looks and back to the task.

“you will.”

he first noticed that he hadn’t opened the dye when he was already wearing the plastic gloves, sending a sheepish grin your way and asking you to please open it for him. you did as asked, handing him the little tube so he could continue, and he once more carefully put the dye in, trying really hard to not miss a spot and spread it evenly. then you waited, again, until it was time to wash it out, which he did with the same amount of care as the first time.

once it was all washed out, however, he near caused you a heart attack.

“i think i messed up”, mingi informed you, and your head shot up in fear without caring about the fact that you’d be dripping all over the bathroom floor, because you half expected your hair to be falling out. you rushed over to the mirror, trying to see just how bad it was.

“what are you talking about? it looks great!” relieved that you would not have to rock a buzzcut again, because growing your hair out after the first had been a pain and you were so glad that it was as long as it was again, chest length and still going strong.

“no, i definitely messed up”, and now that you were able to look at him you saw the playful glint in his eyes, “so i owe you a cinema date.”

“you’re a fucking idiot”, heart still racing from the moment of panic he’d caused you, “if you scare me like that again you’re not going to get any date, ever.”

his expression quickly changed from playfully teasing to a very specific emoji, one with big, sparkling eyes, as he apologised.

“i’m sorry, please forgive me, please don’t do that”, something that only worked because you were so incredibly soft for him, especially when he looked like that.

“fine, i forgive you. but you can just ask for a date instead of near killing me.” how you managed to act like the butterflies in your stomach weren’t doing somersaults was beyond your comprehension, but you stayed cool, something you were happy about. relationships were weird and somewhat intimidating, as were feelings, and you didn’t want to make it even more intimidating and embarrassing by showing him just how excited you were about the idea of going out with him.

“let me try again, okay?” and before you had a chance to reply he continued: “will you let me take you out on a cinema date this week?”

“yes, but now we need to dry my hair before i ruin your shirt”, because the dye-water mixture that was dripping from your tips was leaving small stains already.

“it’s fine, that’s why i brought this one.”

but he still dried your hair for you, carefully, before looking at the finished makeover.

“do you like it?” you were nervous, fiddling with his shirt because what if he regretted his idea now? what if he thought you looked stupid?

“yes! you look cute, but also really cool, i don’t know, but it suits you so well.”

“i’m glad.” then, grabbed by the sudden desire to hug him, you wrapped your arms around him tightly.

“thank you for dyeing my hair.”

even though your hair was still moist and a little uncomfortable against his cheek he held you just as tight, happy that you seemed to like your new colour.

“do you want to go to my place? show the boys.”

you wanted to keep hugging him, but you’d have to stop that sooner or later anyway, so you might as well.

“okay. but you help me decide what to wear tomorrow.”

he followed you to your closet, and for the first time since he’d known you did he notice that it was divided, in a way, that you had two shelves for pants, shirts, skirts and so on. you pointed to one side of the closet - the shirt shelves were next to each other at the same height, as were the others -, telling him that this was where you kept the remnants of your alternative phase.

“can i take some clothes out? so i can get a better look.”

you nodded and soon half your closet was spread on the bed because he wanted to try putting together different outfit combinations.

“hold on, i have something i just remembered”, you interrupted him, walking over to your closet and fetching something from a drawer he hadn’t dared to open because he suspected he might be greeted by your underwear. you didn’t fetch underwear, though, instead throwing several pairs of fishnet tights at him, then a pair of what he assumed to be socks, and then, the biggest surprise, thigh garters.

“maybe this helps spice things up”, and it did, because you also owned a pair of red fishnets, something he chose as the base for the outfit. then, black high-waisted shorts with a distressed hem, an oversized black crop top (that crop tops could be oversized was new to him, but he imagined it would look cute), and of course, the socks that revealed themselves to be thigh highs and the spiked thigh garters that had almost cost him an eye when you’d thrown them at him carelessly.

“this?”

the redhead was curious to see what you’d think of his amateur alt attire - he had no idea if you’d like it, but at least he knew you weren’t opposed to the clothes as individual items because they were quite literally yours.

“i think you have a secret alt girl hidden somewhere deep inside you, and she broke free when she saw my clothes”, you joked, though obviously approving of what he’d picked out.

“just don’t like her more than me”, joining in on the joking, pouting at you before a grin spread on his face because he wasn’t able to hold it in anymore.

you collected the outfit he’d picked out, some makeup and your pyjamas, then you texted the boys that mingi was coming with a surprise.

you hadn’t bothered to change out of the hair dye shirt, your hair was still slightly damp, and your friend had red splotches on his forearms from where the gloves hadn’t covered his skin. it was pretty obvious that he’d just dyed your hair, which the two of you thought was kind of fun; maybe it was just the excitement from your first somewhat-date, but both of you were full of energy still, even though the dyeing was done already.

when you were in front of their door mingi texted the boys, telling them to gather in the living room and keep their eyes closed - he’d check, he informed them -, and while you were kept outside until he’d checked you luckily didn’t have to wait for long because they’d done as asked.

“open!”

you were the surprise, sporting a bright red hair colour and your hair looking straighter than they’d ever seen it, even though it was slowly regaining its regular curliness and puffiness.

“you look like you’re way too cool for us”, yunho decided, and the others agreed.

“that’s because she is”, mingi let them know nonchalantly, wrapping an arm around your shoulder and pulling you against him. he hadn’t considered how that would leave him unable to decently walk, though, starting to waddle towards his room while gently pushing you to move along with him.

“we’re going to watch a movie”, and off he went.

“what movie are we gonna watch?”

you were half sitting, half laying on his bed, watching him as he got out his laptop and joined you, motioning for you to make room for him so he wouldn’t fall off. his bed was big, sure, but you had to actually make use of that space, which you were very much not doing, leaving barely enough room for him if he were to lay on his side, which wasn’t the best movie predicaments. you readily scooted closer to the wall, though, sitting up more so you’d be able to watch him choose the movie.

“i don’t know, it feels like we’ve already watched so many.”

he was right; you’d watched about a dozen different movies by now, maybe more, so you were slowly running out of options.

“we could listen to music? just relax a little.”

“but we’re not going to listen to those songs you put on at the pyjama party”, he told you. “they weren’t exactly relaxing.”

“you can pick.”

he did, selecting some random relaxing lo-fi beats playlist on youtube. and because you were going to relax he put the laptop on the ground, laying down and making some grabby hands-adjacent movement at you so you’d come cuddle with him. and you did, wrapped yourself around him the way he’d been wrapped around you during your first movie night, an arm and a leg slung around him and your head not on his shoulder, not on his chest, but the space in between, and both of his arms were around you. he drew on your back, nothing in particular but just because you’d told him once that the movement relaxed you, switching which hand he used when the current arm started to feel heavy but not stopping even for a second. this situation made him happy, having you there and everything being calm; he wished it could last forever.

“are you tired?” mingi didn’t know why he’d asked - maybe because you weren’t moving at all, maybe because your breathing was slow and even, maybe because he was a little bit tired himself.

“mh, not really? just cosy. you’re like a big soft teddy bear.”

he felt so warm when you told him that, full of joy, full of soft feelings. you hadn’t talked about your feelings after that embarrassing and incredibly emotional situation at your place on sunday, but knowing that he did hold a special place in your heart, that you did like him the way he liked you, was enough to already make his heart grow to twice its regular, anatomically correct size.

his hands continued roaming your back, taking turns, sometimes trying to draw an actual shape, a heart, on your back, thinking you wouldn’t notice because you didn’t expect him to actually try to draw, but after several secret hearts you did notice that sometimes his movements seemed more coordinated, and then you noticed that he was drawing a heart, something that made you smile. he obviously wasn’t expecting you to realise what he was doing, so it was a genuine display of affection, not at all to convince you that he did like you but just because he wanted to.

even though both of you were convinced that you weren’t actually tired your eyes started feeling heavy about an hour into the playlist, despite the fact that it was barely past nine, and even though you maybe shouldn’t be sleeping in your street clothes you couldn’t be bothered to change, especially not when you realised that getting changed would mean waking up the gentle giant, whose movements had stopped and who was snoring just a little bit in your arms. you couldn’t possibly wake him up, and you couldn’t possibly bother him to turn off the laptop, so you just rubbed your cheek against the soft fabric of his shirt and closed your eyes, ready to doze off as well.

[autumn-foxfire]

What Im thinking about today: BNHA n stigmatization of psychology.

The thing is, we as humans are very ready to help each other (most of the time). Thats why we try to rehabilitate prisoners, thats why we volunteer, thats why proffesions such as doctors, social workers and psychologists etc exist. I think we talked here before how most villains in the series havent been failed by heroes, they've been failed by societal safety nets that were meant to catch ppl like them, just like social workers try to catch endangered kids and psychologists try to catch people with mental problems.

Now i study psychology so ill concentrate on that. Obviously it depends from place to place but mental care is still very often looked down upon as 'something for crazy people.' I have personal expirience with that as when i suggested to my dad that maybe he should look into a psychologist too (after my brother started going to one) cuz he has some issues that he could use a hand dealing with, his response was 'what? But im not crazy'. I study psychology and he still often makes jokes about me treating crazy people in the future. I interviewd a school psychologist for a class and she told us that one of the first things she has to do in a school is get students to relax and feel comfortable coming to her with problems cuz there is a very clear stigma in everyones mind that asking for help with your mental problems is something bad, something wrong, something that means you are crazy, wierd, other and people do fear that stigmatization. Going to a psychologist doesnt mean you are crazy, it means you are having problems that you cant deal with on your own and that you need proffesional help with. Nothing more, nothing less. Those problems can be depression or they can be helping you to deal with lingering emotions from your divorce. Big or small, psychology is simply there to give you support and tools you need to feel good again. You wouldnt stigmatize someone for going to the doctor for a soar throat or cancer so you shouldnt stigmatize someone seeking p much the same help for mental illness.

But people still do because things ingrained in society are very very hard to uproot and things are going for the better with every generation but its a painfully slow process and there is no telling how many people fall through that net because they dont seek help when they still can because they think 'im not crazy im not gonna go to those mumbo junbo psychologist that mess with your head' which is very much like going 'im not gonna go to a doctor for my infected wound, they would mess with my body'. Untreated infections spread and get worse and people fall through.

This is what leads me back to bnha. We dont know exactly how long the world of quirks existed, i think i saw a post breaking it down to be for about 100-300 years but for the life of me i cant remember. We know its not terribly long. 100 years may seem long until you remember a single human can live to 100 years old. Now my question is, if a science such as psychology that has been present since like ancient greeks n egypt n stuff can still be stigmatized.

How accepted would quirk counseling be?

Lets not forget that quirks were heavily discriminated against in the begining, treated as monsterous and the other and the acceptence of them is still something fresh and more extreme mutations still face hate groups. Like its completly canon that there are people alive now in bnha whos parents or grandparents faced discrimination or died because of quirk discrimination (cough redestro cough).

Imagine being Togas parents.

Your child displays a quirk like that. You still have in memory your parent or grandparent who was discriminated and monsterized because of a similar quirk. Quirk counceling exists but why should you take your daughter there. Shes not a monster, this isnt something you should get someone else involved with, its a family matter and what do those counselors know anyway, they will treat your daughter as a monster and make everything worse. You can handle this yourself, you can teach her to supress it. Shes not a monster.

The wound festers.

This especially goes hard for japan whos big on the keeping things in the family aspect and not discracing the family. The stigma is still fresh in the memory and you dont want to be that family whos kid goes to quirk counseling. You shut the doors, you shut the windows, you deal with it within the family.

I think that while quirk counseling exists in bnha, it would most likely be seen as something thats shameful to atend, a admitance that you dont have control over your own quirk. Your friends might say 'what the fuck man why are you going there, you arent a monster' even if a quirk that has negative effects should be treated as shortsighted eyes that need glasses. Just because it doesnt function well, doesnt mean its bad. But well stigmatization of disabled is a whole nother thing our society also has problems with and that also connects to bnha (cough aoyama cough). I think thats why its so easy for people in bnha to fall through those safety nets. I do belive they exist but they are new, probably not the most super effective as most new things tend to be and are probably looked down upon.

And hate to break it to shiggy and the crew but thats the kind of a problem that can only be fixed my longterm education and normalization of asking for help rather then burning the systhem to the ground.

I hope that made sense i always get a little loopy with my points when i write a long one fgdgff

No, it makes sense.

Mental health is still stigmatized everywhere, even here in the UK where we’re supposed to have some of the best health care available (which is debatable). To bring something a little personal into this, my flatmates and I were playing a guessing game where I had to describe a word with other descriptions being taboo (in my case it was headache) and as my flatmates know I suffer from chronic headaches, I said as a clue that it was something I get often. Well, a flatmate who was a little tipsy at the time who knows about my depression shouted depression to my other shocked flatmates (I didn’t mind, in fact I found it hilarious). But after we had all calmed down, one of my flatmates said something that stuck with me: “Maybe you shouldn’t overshare things”.

Now, I don’t see telling people I have depression as something I’m oversharing. It’s not private, it’s a mental health condition I suffer from that can kill me if it goes unchecked (before starting medication again, I was very suicidal). In fact, it benefits both me and my flatmates to know that I have depression just in case. And yet it was viewed as something that I was “oversharing”.

This attitude has only arisen because people treat mental health as something that is shameful and should only be known among family members. In fact, I had no clue that DASS (a disability service in uni) was actually also for mental health issues because we’ve been raised with people treating mental health as something “in our heads” and so isn’t as important as physical disabilities, it was only until my uni pointed out that it was there for every condition, physical and mental.

The point I’m making is that I can totally see mental health in BNHA be treated as a shameful secret. Japan doesn’t have the best track record when it comes to mental health anyway (don’t they have some of the highest suicide rates?) so it wouldn’t surprise me if the BNHA universe is the same. In fact, the only mental health issues we’ve seen in BNHA currently are the extreme examples of it such as Twice and Dabi’s mania.

I would love to see Horikoshi delve a little more into quirk counselling and the potential stigma behind it. I know it’s been brought up once or twice (UA treats it as something normal but as teachers who see mental health issues all the time, it’s no wonder that they do) but not enough in my opinion when it’s probably one of the most important stop gaps between making villains.

I don’t have much hope, admittedly, but it would be something fun to explore in fanon too!

[leave-me-2-rot-among-the-flowers]

My Universe

A Disease

Pairing/characters- reader x Galaxy-and-star-collector

Word Count- 1235

Warnings- blood, hanahaki disease, self doubt, body horror

A/N- All mistakes are my own. I do not own any of the photos. This drabble is for Mel’s 3k celebration my prompt was “Give it back!” @fictionalabyss

You stared down into the sink looking at the mess in front of you. You tentatively lowered your hand picking up one of the red stained petals. Wiping away the blood as best you could you were amazed at the blue and purple petal. You racked your brain trying to remember what this flower was and it hit you, forget me nots. You chuckled sadly staring down pitifully at the rest of them. “Of course…I don’t want them to forget me and I want to make more memories with them…yet I can’t ever tell them.” You had loved them with all your heart for the past few weeks. You imagined you loved them longer than that but you only now let yourself truly accept your feelings for them. Your own self doubt and self hatred clouded your mind though, and stopped you from believing they could love you too. You quickly gathered all the petals save for one into the bathrooms trash and tied the bag up. You grabbed the one petal that you left behind and put it in your pocket before grabbing the bag and leaving to go toss it.

“Oh hey there (y/n).” They said as they placed their keys on the hook by the door.

‘Shit.’ You silently cursed at yourself, you hadn’t looked at the time and of course it was time for them to get home. You had hoped you’d have enough time to dispose of the bag before they got back but lady luck was not on your side. “Hey Z… I didn’t know it was 4 already I guess time flies when your having fun.” You gave them a closed smile not sure if there was any evidence left behind in your mouth and tried to walk past them to rid yourself of the bag. They held a hand out in front of you stopping you before placing a hand on their hip. “Excuse me am I forgetting the day of the week here or something?” They glanced down at the bag in your hand and then back up at you with a raised eyebrow.

“N-no? It’s Thursday…oh yeah your turn for trash this week right?” ‘Shit shit shit shit…’ Lady luck really enjoyed fucking with you didnt she you thought miserably. “I just thought I would be nice I spilled water in the bathroom and had to clean it up so I figured I would be nice and get rid of it for you.” You closed your eyes and gave another closed smile hoping they would take it as you just being nice and not hiding something.

“While I do appreciate it…” they grabbed the bag out of your hand and smirked running out the door while yelling back at you, “it’s my turn for trash doll face.”

You stared at the empty space in your hand in horror for a moment before rushing out the door after them. “Give it back!” You scream at them in a panic, your emotions running into overdrive. You catch them at the dumpster before another coughing fit overtakes you. You grasp your waist and cough, it burns to take breaths liquid and petals bursting from your mouth after each cough. ‘No..no no no,’ you scream at yourself in silence as tears stream down your face and you fall to your knees as your coughing gets worse whole bushels of the flowers coming out at this point. You felt them stare at you for a minute before hearing the plastic bag hit the ground and their feet running towards you. You black out with the last thing you hear being them shouting your name.

You wake up your body stiff your lungs on fire in a hospital bed. You groan softly at the sudden blossom of pain that ignites in your stomach. “Oh gods…” you hear followed by a sob. You turn your head softly and see them sitting their their face in their hands as violent sobs shake their body. You can’t help but start to cry too your body was tired, your mind exhausted it had all come about too soon.

“How long?” You heard them ask softly without looking up at you.

“…today was my worst episode but for a week now I’ve been coughing up petals.” You say softly bringing your gaze to the ground. You wouldnt be able to handle seeing their disappointment or their anger so you stared at the off white tiles instead.

“I’ll kill them for doing this to you…how could they not love you back? You’re so fucking amazing.” You hear them growl out. You glance back up at them in confusion.

“Who are you talking about?” Your brows knit together in confusion, did they not know it was them you loved?

“Whoever made you feel unloved.” They ground out anger and fury in their eyes, but you noticed something else there too, something you couldn’t place your finger on. You couldn’t bring yourself to say it was them that had started the blossom of flowers in your lungs and so you stayed silent.

Later that day you were discharged from the hospital, they said you had a week at best if the person didn’t return your feelings. Z had demanded and begged you to tell them who it was or to get the surgery to save your life as to them you were more important. Yet you didn’t want the surgery, you just couldn’t stop loving Z even if you wanted to. Things were tense in the house that night and to avoid another shouting match you retired to your room early and fell asleep.

You woke up to the sound of the front door opening and closing. You glanced to the clock on your desk and noted that it read 3 am. 'Strange,’ you thought, 'no one should be coming in or leaving at this hour.’ You slowly got out of bed ignoring the burst of pain in your lungs and left to go check on Z. You didn’t find them in their bed so you opened the door hesitantly to see Z round the corner towards the garbage bins. You started after them and noticed a bright pink petal on the ground that stood out against the gray concrete sidewalk. “An apple blossom?” You mused to yourself out loud. You glance around you, in the 6 months both of you had been living here together you never noticed any apple trees and that’s when it hit you. You ran after Z only to catch them throwing the bag into the trash and turning to see you a mortified expression on their face.

You ran into their arms and pulled them into a deep embrace crashing your lips into theirs. They hesitated but slowly kissed you back, and you both felt a shock run through your body. It was as if you could run a marathon your lungs no longer ached your heart swelled with love. You were finally home right where you belonged.

You pulled back slightly and saw the tears in their eyes as they grinned at you. “How long?” You asked them softly.

“Today was my worst episode…but for about a week” they grinned at you repeating the same words you had said to them in the hospital. Forget me nots and apple blossoms, flowers that would bring your two universes together until the end.

[hymnstoalienstars]

building on There Are Rules AU: don’t antagonize voldemort

Don’t antagonize Voldemort was once a rule but it turned out to be an endless fountain of fun and therefore cut from the list.

There was a time, for example, when Riddle thought he was stalked by an entity that could possess bodies. It wasn’t Harry’s fault, really. Was it his fault he kept resurrecting on the battlefield? Was it his fault he didn’t have a minute to adjust his style of dueling? his body language? Was it his fault the bloody Death Eaters kept trying to kill him?

#MAYBE:

#VOLDEMORT'S POV

this is from the prev post

I probably need some actual plot and some info on the First Wizarding War.

i’m just gonna scan the wiki for details (the following is copied from there)

1970 – 31 October, 1981 Cause: Voldemort's return to the United Kingdom in order to begin his first reign of terror Result: Ministry and Order of the Phoenix victory. The disappearance of Voldemort and decline of the Death Eaters. Harry Potter declared the "Boy Who Lived" 

1970

29 November: William Arthur Weasley to Arthur and Molly Weasley

Sometime after Molly graduated, both her brothers were murdered by Death Eaters in the First Wizarding War. (Dolohov)

Arthur was not a member of the first Order of the Phoenix.

Molly: "It's all this uncertainty with You-Know-Who coming back, people think they might be dead tomorrow, so they're rushing all sorts of decisions they'd normally take time over. It was the same last time he was powerful, people eloping left, right, and centre —" Ginny Weasley: "Including you and Dad." — Molly reflecting on her marriage in 1996[src]

1971

The Whomping Willow is planted.

1 September: Individuals that started at Hogwarts

Sirius Black (Gryffindor)[3]

Lily Evans (Gryffindor)[3]

Severus Snape (Slytherin)[3]

Remus Lupin (Gryffindor)[3]

James Potter (Gryffindor)[3]

Peter Pettigrew (Gryffindor)[3]

Adrian (unknown house)[4]

Stebbins (unknown house)[5]

1972

Muggles Who Notice by Blenheim Stalk is published.[1]

Published in 1972, it covered incidents where Muggles noticed elements of the Wizarding world, including the Ilfracombe Incident of 1932 and the story of "Dodgy" Dirk.[1] (a rogue Common Welsh Green dragon attacked a group of sunbathers in Ilfracombe in 1932)

Remus Lupin's friends James Potter, Sirius Black, and Peter Pettigrew discover that he is a werewolf, and resolve to learn to become animagi.[2]

1 September: Individuals that started Hogwarts Regulus Black (Slytherin)[4] Dirk Cresswell (unknown)[5] (was a Muggle-born wizard. In the mid-1990s he became Head of the Goblin Liaison Office, in the Ministry of Magic.)

Births 12 December: Charlie Weasley to Arthur and Molly Weasley.[8]

1973

Events The Ministry of Magic defeats an appeal against house-elf slavery[2]

Individuals that started Hogwarts Bartemius Crouch Jr

1975

Minister for Magic Eugenia Jenkins is seen as inadequate to the challenge of the first rise of Lord Voldemort, and is replaced by the hard-lined Harold Minchum.[2]

Minister Eugenia Jenkins was Minister for Magic between 1968 and 1975. She dealt competently with the pure-blood riots during the Squib Rights marches in the late sixties. However, when confronted with the first rise of Lord Voldemort, she was ousted from office, being deemed inadequate to the challenge.

The Squib Rights marches were an action by a mass group of Squibs in favour of the betterment of the rights of Squibs[2] that took place in 1968 or 1969, during Eugenia Jenkins's term as Minister for Magic. This demonstration was, presumably, unsuccessful, as a group of extremist Pure-bloods broke out in riot while it was taking place.

Minister Harold Minchum was Minister for Magic between 1975 and 1980. He was seen as a hard-liner, and placed even more Dementors around Azkaban. But he was unable to contain what seemed like Voldemort's unstoppable rise to power.

Regulus Black receives his Dark Mark, thus becoming a Death Eater.[8]

Sirius Black, James Potter, Remus Lupin, and Peter Pettigrew create the Marauder's Map.

1976

22 August: Percy Weasley to Arthur and Molly Weasley[6]

James Potter, Sirius Black, Remus Lupin, Peter Pettigrew, Lily Evans and Severus Snape sit their O.W.L. examinations in June. Lily Evans dissolves her friendship with Severus Snape after he calls her a "Mudblood". Sirius Black runs away from home to live with the Potter family[1] Sirius Black sees his cousin Bellatrix Lestrange for the last time before they are both in Azkaban. Sirius Black gets his own place (either in 1976 or 1977) with money he inherited from his uncle Alphard Black.[2]

1977

James Potter and Lily Evans become Head Boy and Girl[1] Sirius Black gets his own place (either in 1976 or 1977) with money he inherited from his uncle Alphard Black.[2] James Potter and Sirius Black are chased by two police men, Fisher and Anderson, as well as three Death Eaters on broomsticks, while riding on Sirius's motorbike. They escape, however, by using magic to lift the police car, causing the three Death Eaters to crash into it.[3] Vernon and Petunia Dursley purchase and move in to 4 Privet Drive.[4] Regulus Black plays for the Slytherin Quidditch team during the 1977 to 1978 school year.

Deaths Dorea Potter née Black[9] Amarillo Lestoat[10] Alphard Black (possibly)[2]

There was some speculation that Dorea Potter was the mother of James Potter and so the paternal grandmother of Harry Potter. However, the actual names of James's parents were revealed to be Fleamont and Euphemia Potter, via Pottermore.[4] In spite of this, it is still more than likely that Dorea was possibly an aunt or a cousin by marriage of James.

It was once presumed that Charlus Potter and Dorea Black, who appeared on the Black family tree, might have been James's parents (since it was known that Charlus and Dorea also had one son). However, J. K. Rowling revealed via Pottermore that that was not the case. It is still more than likely, however, that Charlus Potter is somehow related to Fleamont.

I personally like the idea of Dorea Black being Harry’s grandmother. There’s next to nothing on Euphemia but Dorea Black being bold enough to “run away” with a Potter makes a good story. And it’s a headcanon active in all of my HP stories, I think.

1978

1 April: Twins Fred and George Weasley are born to Arthur and Molly Weasley[3]

Universal Brooms Ltd goes out of business.[1] James Potter, Lily Evans, Remus Lupin, Peter Pettigrew, Sirius Black, and Severus Snape leave Hogwarts.

1979

Regulus Blacks dies by drinking the Drink of Despair and gets killed by Inferius while trying to destroy a Horcrux of Tom Marvolo Riddle.

The Wedding of James Potter I and Lily Evans took place, with Sirius Black as the Best Man.

Peter Pettigrew begins passing information to Lord Voldemort[3]

Deaths Orion Black[5] Regulus Black[6] Fleamont Potter Euphemia Potter

Births 19 September: Hermione Granger

1980

Professor Sybill Trelawney tells Albus Dumbledore the prophecy concerning Harry Potter and Tom Marvolo Riddle.[1] Death Eater Igor Karkaroff is captured by Auror Alastor Moody and sent to Azkaban.[2] Millicent Bagnold succeeds Harold Minchum becoming Minister for Magic until her retirement in 1990.[3]

(a lot of birthdays)

Deaths c.1980: Evan Rosier and Wilkes, both known Death Eaters, are killed by Aurors.[8] c.1979-1980: Dean Thomas's father[9]

1981

Marlene McKinnon an Order of the Phoenix member is killed by Lord Voldemort who also wipes out her entire family. Harry Potter's first birthday

September: Sirius Black makes Peter Pettigrew the secret keeper

The Order of the Phoenix was founded by Albus Dumbledore during Lord Voldemort's first rise to power in the 1970s. Dumbledore formed the Order to combat Voldemort's increasing threat and power. Aurors from the Ministry of Magic also joined the Order to participate in more secretive, sudden assaults aimed to crush the Dark Rebellion. Dumbledore created a method of communication among Order members by inventing a way to make Patronuses speak. Although the Death Eaters had been attacking mostly Muggles and Muggle-borns to spread terror, they soon turned to attacking "blood traitors" such as Order members as well. The Order had to work hard, as they were outnumbered by a ratio of 20:1 by the Death Eaters. Fabian and Gideon Prewett were murdered by a group of five Death Eaters led by Antonin Dolohov. Caradoc Dearborn disappeared, the Bones family was almost completely destroyed, Benjy Fenwick was brutally murdered, and Marlene McKinnon and her family were murdered by Death Eaters, including Travers. Even as the Order suffered great losses, they continued to fight, and four of their members — James Potter, Lily Potter, Frank Longbottom, and Alice Longbottom — defied Voldemort himself three times.

First WW notes

"Imagine that Voldemort's powerful now. You don't know who his supporters are, you don't know who's working for him and who isn't; you know he can control people so that they do terrible things without being able to stop themselves. You're scared for yourself, and your family, and your friends. Every week, news comes of more deaths, more disappearances, more torturing... The Ministry of Magic's in disarray, they don't know what to do, they're trying to keep everything hidden from the Muggles, but meanwhile, Muggles are dying too. Terror everywhere... panic... confusion... that's how it used to be." —The uncertainty of the first war[src]

Werewolves were a big part of a confict...

Voldemort promised rights to [Dark] Creatures so it was a solid base

Voldemort’s base:

Dark magic - stop the laws that forbid it

that wouldnt be such a thing if all branches were for killing and torturing

like necromancy, for example

or maybe some family magic, blood magic

maybe even random spells or schools of magic... just because people were scared of “the dark”

it probably was the “Light Era”, before the 1970th, Scuib rights, maybe increase in muggleborns and newblood-oldblood marriages

Dark was weaker politically

maybe some bad attitudes towards “dark ws”

Pureblood supremacy

[Dark] creatures’ rights

"Imagine that Voldemort's powerful now. You don't know who his supporters are, you don't know who's working for him and who isn't; you know he can control people so that they do terrible things without being able to stop themselves. You're scared for yourself, and your family, and your friends. Every week, news comes of more deaths, more disappearances, more torturing... The Ministry of Magic's in disarray, they don't know what to do, they're trying to keep everything hidden from the Muggles, but meanwhile, Muggles are dying too. Terror everywhere... panic... confusion... that's how it used to be." —The uncertainty of the first war[src]

Now going exclusively by his preferred name "Lord Voldemort", Riddle laid low and travelled around Europe and Asia. Little is known of his activities during this period, though he explored the Dark Arts extensively, studying the most obscure and arcane branches of magic and consorting with an array of dark wizards, who would all turn out to become his followers in the years to come. As a result of unnamed “magical experiments and transformations”, Voldemort underwent several physical and mental changes, which made him more powerful but less human, and was occasionally accompanied by a group of followers he came to call his "Death Eaters". By the time he was a full-fledged adult, around 1968, Riddle donned a hooded cloak (though he physically still did not resemble the montrous creature he would later in his life) which concealed him completely and he began plotting a wizarding coup, claiming that he was greatly dissatisfied with the current state of the Wizarding World and that he would succeed where so many, including Gellert Grindelwald and Salazar Slytherin, had failed. Voldemort convinced his underlings that to truly create a world full of peace and power, the old regime needed to be torn down at any and all costs and only those who shared pure blood, will and idealism would be allowed to live and thrive in it. In truth however, Lord Voldemort had little interest in political idealism himself. He was completely devoted to amassing his own magical power, and in becoming the most powerful and skilled wizard to have ever lived, invincible and eternal.

Though the Death Eaters were generally even less tolerant of them than wizarding society in general, these creatures were receptive of their violent and destructive goals. Dark activity suddenly arose throughout Great Britain, a country that had been totally untouched by dark magic; even during the reign of terror of Gellert Grindelwald; and Voldemort began surreptitiously killing poor and homeless Muggles (whose absences would not be noticed) with his followers so that he could reanimate their corpses with Necromancy until he had created an army of Inferi, a feat no other dark wizard in history had ever done.

In 1962, Minister Of Magic Ignatius Tuft was forced out of office for promising to institute a controversial Dementor breeding programme for Azkaban. He was replaced by Nobby Leach, who became the first Muggle-born ever to hold the Minister position, leading senior members of the Wizengamot to resign in protest. In 1963, Muggle expert Mordicus Egg published The Philosophy of the Mundane: Why the Muggles Prefer Not to Know, which posited actual theories about why Muggles continued to be unaware of magic. This was a different take on the subject, as it did not assume Muggles to be stupid nor ignorant.

Between 1965 and 1971[9], Dumbledore, who was noted as a social progressive believing strongly in the rights of Muggles as well as Muggle-borns and other oppressed minorities, ascended to the post of Headmaster of Hogwarts.

Supreme Mugwump of the International Confederation Of Wizards [ICW] and Chief Warlock of the Wizenagamot. In these positions of great and influential power, Dumbledore passed extreme legislation to prevent any possible dark forces from threatening overall security around Great Britain

In 1968, Nobby Leach left office for mysterious health reasons, leading to a conspiracy theory that he had been poisoned by his Muggle-prejudice advisor Abraxas Malfoy.

[1970] the Death Eaters and their allies (including the particularly destructive Giants) began openly carrying out attacks on Muggles for sport and to sow chaos. Cleaning up these attacks, healing survivors, modifying memories, searching for the perpetrators, and attempting to prevent future attacks occupied more and more of the Ministry's time and attention. As their confidence grew, the Death Eaters began targeting Muggle-born and blood traitor witches and wizards as well, torturing and sometimes killing their victims, which shocked wizarding society. Other "inferior" magical beings such as house-elves (who were treated like vermin) and Goblins (a family of which was slaughtered) also suffered under their reign of terror.

Voldemort himself personally killed hundreds of wizards, though he tended to only fight those he considered worthy of his attention or too powerful for his followers to defeat. In these encounters, he displayed his extraordinary abilities, many of which were thought impossible, and he very quickly earned the reputation of the most powerful and dangerous dark wizard of all time

[1971]Though the Ministry officially viewed the Order as a renegade outfit, a number of powerful Ministry officials (such as Elphias Doge and Dedalus Diggle; and the famous Aurors Alastor Moody and Frank Longbottom and Alice Longbottom) joined instantly to participate in more secretive, sudden assaults to crush the dark rebellion.[12] When Dumbledore helped black market trader Mundungus Fletcher out of trouble, he joined the Order and, due to his extensive knowledge of the criminal underworld, proved very useful. 

To protect the organisation, Voldemort ensured that Death Eaters did not know the identities of too many of their fellows, and, to society at large, their identities were completely unknown.[13] Increasing the confusion and paranoia even further, Voldemort placed many dozens of innocent victims under the Imperius Curse simulaniously, and forced them to carry out his orders. Even friends and family members were not above suspicion of one another.

Evan Rosier, Lucius Malfoy, Bellatrix Lestrange, Sewlyn, Jerome Jugson, Jugson, Regulus Black, Rodolphus Lestrange, Rabastan Lestrange, Thorfinn Rowle, Gibbon, Augustus Rookwood, Igor Karkaroff, Crabbe, Goyle, Travers, and Antonin Dolohov. Likely at Snape's urging, Voldemort attempted to recruit Lily Evans, whose prodigious talents made up for her status as a Muggle-born

He took only Severus Snape and Bellatrix Lestrange under his personal wing, sharing with them his personal-secret knowledge of the Dark Arts; and inspiring in Bellatrix a delusional-psychotic attraction bordering on loving obsession, which Voldemort never returned

[1980]Shortly afterwards, due to Pettigrew's betrayal, Death Eaters began systematically murdering Order members and the war entered its most desperate phase. Marlene McKinnon was slaughtered alongside her entire family by Travers, Nott, and Mulciber. Edgar Bones, his wife, and their children were murdered by Thorfinn Rowle and Fenrir Greyback. Gideon Prewett and Fabian Prewett both fought bravely but were ultimately killed by Antonin Dolohov, and Dorcas Meadowes was murdered by Voldemort himself. Caradoc Dearborn disappeared and was never found, though he was presumed dead. Benjy Fenwick was killed by Bellatrix Lestrange, Evan Rosier, and Julius Jerome; and so brutally mutilated that only bits of him were recovered.[12]

In response to this brutal onslaught, Barty Crouch Snr, who despised Voldemort, the Death Eaters, and the Dark Arts entirely; issued an edict giving Ministry Aurors full permission to employ the use of the Unforgivable Curses against their enemies. A massive Ministry campaign, spearheaded and led by Alastor Moody, Kingsley Shackelbolt, and Frank Longbottom; ensued, immediately turning the tide of the war against the Death Eaters.

28 pureblood family names (sacred 28)

Abbott Avery Black Bulstrode Burke Carrow Crouch Fawley Flint Gaunt Greengrass Lestrange Longbottom Macmillan Malfoy Nott Ollivander Parkinson Prewett Rosier Rowle Selwyn Shacklebolt Shafiq Slughorn Travers Weasley Yaxley

Although the Malfoys were noted as respectable members as one of the Sacred Twenty-Eight (a title they are proud of), they did not take the pure-blood supremacy to the point of inbreeding: they were willing to marry half-bloods, many of whom are shown in their family tree.

[randomliven]

WARNING LONG POST HEAVY SPOILERS

Episode4. Play back rewatch

*Open scene Montrose

*Drinking. Going through the memories of his mind

He drinks and still he remembers it all

*God Smites Eve

*2:12 "Give this to tic protect our family" GEORGE

*The Order of the ancient dawn

*You might be all Tic has left

*"Smells like Tulsa

*Bitcx better have my money

*Christina glides through cars

* Black arrow (nods it off)

*leti was ready

*Bitcx tried to walk in like she own the place

*the protection spell works 'akirum

She seemed impressed and snide

*your money (leti realizes where the money came from

**L: "You want something in this house. Something to. do with Atticus"

**Ct: "Dont let the men fool you into thinking its Always about them. "

**His blood may have power but thats only because itus spelled it that way. Hes Not Special. Not really

Christina is a Snitch

*"If he keeps operating like this hes going to get you killed "Again"

(she looks sincere) (im telling yall xtina did this before)

* "I dont want that. Or this house. I just want the orrery"

(To discover a world of first) (chritina dont lie withold yes)

You can get the Fuck up off my Porch

Call me

*Hippolyta calls her daddy... She has the Orrery

She smart as hell

*The new comic diana drawing..outta this universe

Moves and predicts the relative position of planets

*leti tells tic about tina paying for house

*Tic with holds information from leti

*knows tina used tic to kill father

tic was go kill her then just leave

Lil boy with Coke bottle glasses ( just like tic but not tic

*two sets of pages still exist

*the orrery is the key

(using the orrery to go into another world to find his pages)

Titus kept it hidden

*Casting spells to protect

*ask ya daddy " i dont want yall involved"

(Sound like his daddy when they saved him)

They in the back

Every time i tell you to do something yo do the opposite

*" how you kno its 34 lodges"

*"I cant help you kill yourself. You cant see this game she is setting up for you to play"

(Montrose and Christina have done this before.. I cant wait till the final. I need to kno)

*"Looking for answers you already have"

Boston

*"I know where to find that dame vault"

Christina plays hide and seek for the first time

Christina screaming "Im safe."

The police arrive for her to take her to ...

Lancaster

*She didnt mention leti being in the house specie or tic

Says convince "hyrum"

*she knows there is someone in the closet right away

*xtina says time machine

* " let "negros" move in..(vs niggers) cocky

Take my lodges

*did i miss your initiation into the order..

No cunts allowed

The silent fight

Let go. You told me to let go

Hyp suspicious

It so happens to be at a astrology museum

Tree

Ruby walks into Marshal fields

"Work like kobe just to shine like Russel"

Sees Tamara

"Yes yesterday"

"I applied on a whim"

Boston

Lights of the universe

Leti's face watching rose go with the guard

*"u kno y they call me tree"

"Shouldnt i already kno that since we fuc in highschool simore" rolls eye at that liar

True story: Harriet chariot

*MY MAMA NAMED THAT COMET

*Many artefacts Titus was giving in exchange for striping away everything they knew

(Stolen after killing, probably raping and enslaving the native people)

*tree hints at Montrose being gay to tic

Tic questions how mon knows the guard

The vault

*Christina pulls up goes around the gate

(William comes out 30seconds later, yes we kno the skin change happens in seconds seeing ruby change, BUT HOW IN THE HELL did xtina put on a whole suite down to the tie that quick)

Do they not kno william cuz then lancaster wouldnt have known it wasnt xtina when he dies.

She kick they ass

*William says i have a Date

Find a way to open it

Montrose finds the moonlight

How old is this museum

*"This is some journey to the center of the earth type shit"(name of book coke bottle kid in library was reading)

3tunnels

Ever the tide shall rise

Map of titus voyage's..

No telling Letitia fuc N lewis No

Dont help me

Yellow

*Based on adventure novels the tunnels should be based on the map.

*How you know he raided Diana

"I read a damn book

*1810 it was built

Established the sons of Adam 3yrs later

*Whats down the other tunnel?

The lantern being there

Ruby drowning her blues away to a half empty bar

Is copper considered a yellow

Voluptuousness

*I cant afford another one

Blues eyes got ya tab tonight

*A nod. A gulp

*"May i join you?" They dont sit

Keep my glass full"...

*Yall white boys dont come to the dark side for modesty (demanding woman

* i can buy my own drinks ( pride)

Take a bit more to impress me White Boy

*Never insult you to make you a kept woman

* promise me the world to lay with me

*a promise i can keep

(All she needs is the orrery & she literally can give Ruby Many worlds)

The way they look at Ruby

*20min of walking

Walking the plank

Tic brave

Tf me 1st

Learned how to lie

*juneteenth

* "FREEMEN WERE NEVER SLAVES"

She out there

Spider senses

Tic has training

Booby trap

Big fucking deal

The bored starts to disappear

Jump pop

Better catch me Boy. (I got ya kid)

Now they can run shuffle

Montrose knows the combination

Jessie owens

*The tide rising.. Less than an hr

Ruby "got there 1st, shoulda been me but i let Leti distract me"

They sat there all night

*"Whoes leti"

(i dont think Christina knew leti Nd Ruby were sisters before that moment based on willtinas expression

*"my half sister" (willtina Gulps (becoming a signature

* if i was in your skin i wouldnt even have to run"

*what to do about it?

William with them eyes.

*"Better stop looking at me like that, It Aint happening

White Boy"

I Put a Spell on You plays

Ruby want it

(Im more than sure this is Willtinas 1st time, also wonder if so as a woman. Possible leti was a virgin)

Willtina looked confused by the blood. Primal reaction

Ruby in control

William excited, whoa lip biting

The mark of Cain. Big Dic Energy

*" How you kno so much about the sons of adam?"

* george gave me the bylaws i burned it

My brother said protect the family. His dying wish

(Was to give Tic the book, but you cant tell Montrose what to do with his son)

Closing Pandoras box once Nd for good

You wont stop

*Leti finds the neighbors body who went missing

*Chicago to Boston 14hr drive

(They walk 20min to the plank maybe another 20 to yahima)

*sees elevator come down, looks familiar

*Epistien was apart of the order prob chasing the pages... He was missing an arm

This might get dangerous

*he was kidnapped. I Died.

*"not the center of the fucking universe"

Leti can swim too

*Fatherly advice

Ya mama was complicated too

*all that fussing is loving

*Epstein day look like he was missing an arm and like a drowned victim

I don't think Christina knew about the tunnels or at least she knew that she couldn't open them

Black folk dont watch bones come alive & just stare

*reaches. (Back the fuc up

* they have the same symbol on their stomach. The Regeneration spell

*yahima Woman man two spirit

*had no reason to distrust him

ALWAYS HUNGRY

*he killed them all (stole they shii) enslaved

Tic look like Will Smith as a fish in shark tail

*she dont know my spirit

Montrose Takes pages anyway (i think knowing booby trap)

. Grabs yama

*montrose drops the pages purposefully

Like damn leti. Grabbing for her

The kiss. The scream. The knockout

*how did they get back without woodie

*is that your dad's atlas

*devon county circled. Ardum reaper. Hyp makes a detour

*siren. Ill figure out how to help her talk

*"You were brave boy. Grew to be a good man spite me"

*he already had the plan

Damn montrose

[rosa-berberifolia]

Shower|Mortal Kombat x Reader|Erron Black x Insecure/Chubby!Reader

A/N: this short little ditty is part 3 of my Erron Black series.

Be Warned: some naked people but none of the smex.

Word Count: 1200 give or take

-------------------

It had been a few days since Erron and you got together. He still kept an eye on you while your brother, Johnny, was away. You had spent the day toiling in your garden, making sure that the herbs and other plants that you used in your potions were doing well: weeding, watering, fertilizing, transplanting. Erron tried to help but he accidentally pulled out a gladiola instead of a weed and so you sent him to the bench, and he just watched you.The work left you sweaty and dirty and you really just wanted to shower. 

After you turned the water on you started to undress. You caught yourself in the mirror, and just like most times you saw yourself, your heart sank. You really did not like the way you looked. Your stomach and thighs were too big with too many stretch marks. Your arms were flabby. You were starting to notice that you were growing a double chin. Your hair was thinning, your skin was dry, you had dark circles under your eyes. You saw all of this in the mirror and you couldn't help the tears that welled up in your eyes as you tried to muffle your sob so that Erron wouldn’t hear it. Quickly you got in the shower and tried to forget about your horrible body.

Why would Erron be with someone that looks like me? You thought to yourself. You remembered what he looked like without his clothes on; basically a sculpture crafted by the universe’s finest artist. His chest, his abs, his arms...his butt; they all made your mouth water and your core quiver at the thought of them. He deserves someone with a better body, and a better face than me. You thought to yourself. The idea of him being happy and satisfied with someone else made you sob before you could stop yourself. You put a hand on the shower wall and just cried into the water. Then you heard the door to the bathroom open and close. 

“Hey darlin’.” You heard Erron’s familiar voice call to you. The sound of metal hitting the floor made its way past the sound of the shower itself. You quickly wiped your tears away and opened the curtain just a little to stick your head out and see what Erron was doing. You saw him undressing in your bathroom.

“What are you doing?” you asked, knowing full well what he was doing.

“I’m joining you.” He said simply. You couldn't help the small smile that crept on your face. But then the thought of him seeing you without clothes again terrified you. What if he finally saw all of the things that you saw? He would finish his job here and then leave as soon as Johnny came back.

Fully naked now, Erron stepped into the shower with you. You turned the front of your body to face away from him as he entered. He cocked his head at you.

“What are you doing?” He asked, inquiring as to why you weren’t facing him,

“Showering.” You said plainly. He eyed you suspiciously. Reaching out he grabbed one of the hands that was wrapped around your torso and pulled you to face him. Your eyes shot down immediately and the expression on your face dropped in sadness.

“What’s wrong?” He questioned, growing increasingly concerned about you. You sighed and tried to keep your composure. You wouldn't cry in front of him. And since you couldn't be sad, you grew mad.

“What are you even with me?” You grilled. He looked taken aback by the sudden and curt question.

“What do you mean?” He asked stepping closer to you. You stepped back in response.

“Why would you even want to be with me?” Your voice started to rise. 

“What are you talking about?” Erron’s voice started to rise too in defense.

“LOOK AT ME!” You yelled back at him. His eyebrows knit together in confusion and his jaw dropped in surprise. He said nothing, either from shock or waiting for you to continue. But he was silent. Your breath was labored from your anger. But you continued anyway. “Look at me! I’m fat. I’m balding. I’m turning all scaly. I’m ugly. I look like I haven’t slept in years. I’m weak. I’m moody. I have one discernible skill. One! I have absolutely nothing to offer you. Why are you with me?!” You had started crying but you didn't care. 

Erron’s jaw clenched at your words. His gaze went to the shower wall. It wasn’t until you finished yelling at him that he looked back at you with equally angry eyes.

“Who is filling your head with this garbage? Tell me, because I’ll kill them for ever making you feel less than beautiful.” He said through gritted teeth.

“Well then point the gun at my head because I’d rather my death be quick.” You said crisply. It was at these words that his face fell. The amount of sadness that was written on his was incredible. You were sure that you hadn’t seen anyone that sad except yourself. Erron reached out his arms to hold you. You reluctantly complied with his embrace.

“Y/n?” He said quietly into your ear, kissing just under it gently. “Why would you think such terrible things about yourself?” And at his question you couldn't hold any composure anymore. You started sobbing. Erron shushed you sweetly as he guided you and him to sit down on the shower floor with you in his lap. The warm water fell on you for a few silent minutes before one of you made a sound that wasn't just sobbing. 

“Darlin’, I think you are the most beautiful woman I’ve ever laid eyes on. How can you not see what I see?” Erron urged trying to understand what you were going through.

“I just...” You started and wiped your eyes even though you were under the running water and would have to wipe them constantly. You took a steadying breath to gather yourself before continuing to explain how you’ve never really liked the way you looked. And that now that you were the Potions Master you had so many more responsibilities and it was stressing you out. So lately you had been eating and working more, and sleeping less. And the stress was taking its toll on your body.

“Well right now - the way you look right this moment - you are a stunner. The most gorgeous girl in all the realms. As for moody? You’re stressed and you ain’t sleepin’. Of course you’re moody. And as for skills? I’ve spent the last two weeks with ya and I can tell you that you have way more skills that you realize. You’re good with potions, yeah. But you’re also a great cook and gardener. You took such good care of me after I got shot. There isn’t even an wound there anymore. You know more about plants and animals than anyone I’ve met. You’re smart, and sweet, and kind. But you won’t let yourself be pushed around. You’re the most amazing person I’ve ever had the pleasure of meeting.” Erron told you. He brushed some of the wet hair away from your face. It made you smile a little bit. And you smiling made Erron smile. 

“And to be perfectly honest, its taken everything I have to not get a hard on for you right now.” He admitted cheekily and you couldn't help the chuckle that escaped you. 

“There’s my girl.” He encouraged, tipping your head up to his. He pressed his lips to yours dreamily and you couldn't help but kiss back. You smiled at him and he smiled back as he cupped your cheek gently.

“If it takes the rest of my life, I swear that I will make you see how beautiful you are. Inside and out.” Erron promised you. All you could do was smile shyly at him and nod.

[marshmallow-phd]

Charming Instruction

Part of The Untamed - EXO Wolf Universe

Genre: Supernatural, Wolf Au

Pairing: Junmyeon x Reader

Summary: You were just an average, everyday college student desperately trying to graduate. Only one more year stood between you and that celebratory walk. However, due to an oversight by your adviser, it seemed that the one class you never wanted to take was required to take that walk. It wasn’t the subject matter that made you uncomfortable. It was the teacher. Your heart sped up every time you saw him and you didn’t want that distraction in your life, attractive or not. With meeting him now an inevitability, you swore that you would keep your hormones in check. But after your first day of class, a series of hi jinks and weird situations lead you to discovering the secret of your professor and why he seemed to bombard your every thought.

Part: 1 I 2 I 3 I 4 I 5 I 6 I 7 I 8 I 9 I 10 I 11 I 12 I 13 I Final

**

Junmyeon didn’t lead you too far into the woods. He stuck to the tree line, pulling you in close once he was leaning up against a sizable trunk that kept you somewhat hidden from the house. Hands resting on your hips, he leaned his forehead on yours and sighed deeply.

You could tell he was still stressing over the meeting. Perhaps he was expecting more concern and questioning from the pack rather than the nonchalant reception that was bestowed upon him instead. While you didn’t know the boys all that well, they all seemed to give off that carefree vibe, which was possibly be the bane of Junmyeon’s existence, if you had to guess. But that probably just came with the territory of being a leader. And being the mate of the leader, you figured it was your job to help him stop worrying.

“Just give them a little time,” you reassured him as you rubbed his arms. “Soon, they’ll take it more seriously. It’s just because the information is so vague at this time, they don’t know what to be cautious of. So, they blow it off rather than stressing about something they have no control over.”

Junmyeon pouted, squeezing your sides. “Then why am I stressing about it?”

“Well, I don’t know too much about werewolf pack dynamics….” You scrunched your face mischievously, “But I’m pretty sure it has to do with the fact that you’re the leader and it’s kind of your job to worry over every little thing.”

“I do not worry about every little thing,” he protested.

This was coming from the same person who didn’t tell you the truth about the connection between the two of you because he was overthinking on whether or not you would hightail it out of here and leave him in the dust. Granted, you didn’t give him much hope for any other outcome, but still.

You held your thumb and index finger up, leaving a minuscule amount of space in between. “You do. Just a little bit.”

Junmyeon opened his mouth to argue, but then closed it, sighing heavily. “Okay. Maybe a little. But someone has to worry about these things or else we’ll all be doomed.”

“Well, then I guess it’s a good thing that you’re the leader instead of one of the others.”

He let out a short laugh. “Well, me and Kris. And it was nice that he-”

A little over the current discussion, you simply pressed your lips against Junmyeon’s for a quick kiss to stop his talking. Well, it was supposed to be a quick kiss.

Catching the back of your neck with his hand before you could pull away, Junmyeon deepened the display of affection, taking full advantage of the isolation. Under your palms that were resting on his chest, you could feel his content purr vibrating both you and him. The sensation made you giggle. Junmyeon broke off the kiss at the sound.

“What’s so funny?” he murmured, frowning at you.

“You’re like a cat,” you chuckled. Apparently, that was the wrong thing to say.

Junmyeon scoffed, the corners of his mouth turning up in astonishment. His eyes turned back to you, “Do you realize how insulting that is?”

“Um, sorry?” you snorted. He did not find it as funny. “It’s not my fault! You were purring!”

“I was happy! I can’t control it!” he whined.

You rolled your eyes. “I was just saying that it was cute!”

“Hardly the word I want to hear in the middle of kissing you,” he grumbled.

Stepping back, you crossed your arms, just staring at him. He kept pouting, just making him even cuter.

It was ridiculous. The big alpha wolf wanted to be seen as anything but cute. But he made it hard with that fluffy brown hair, puckered lips, and big, round brown eyes gazing at you. You almost wanted to snap a picture of it, but that didn’t feel appropriate in the moment. Honestly, it felt silly, him taking offense to that four letter word, but it wasn’t worth starting an argument.

You threw your hands up. “Okay. Fine. I won’t call you cute anymore. Never again. I will purge that word from my vocabulary unless I’m talking about a puppy or small child.”

Junmyeon’s eyebrows shot up to nearly his hairline. “I didn’t say that.”

Narrowing your eyes and smirking, you teased, “So, you do want me to call you cute?”

He shrugged, hands in his pockets. “I wouldn’t mind it under certain circumstances. Just not when I’m kissing you. Because that makes me want to show you exactly how not ‘cute’ I can be.”

Now that kind of had you taken back. “Are you sure you’re a college professor? Because you are acting a bit more more like a college boy right now.”

With a predatory gleam in those russet eyes, Junmyeon stalked towards you. Instinctively, you stumbled back until your back hit a tree, the curved edges of the bark piercing your shoulder blades.

Your breath quicken and you couldn’t stop the audible gulp in your throat from how much like a wolf he being. That reaction seemed to just egg Junmyeon on. He didn’t stop until the space between you was completely gone, a hand on each side of your hip to keep you in place. His lips were right against your ear as he whispered, “I’m only a professor on campus.”

Oh, that’s not good.

Junmyeon nibbled at your ear before moving down to your neck. You giggled anxiously. He’d never gone this far before. What really made you nervous was the fact that you didn’t want to stop.

“Junmyeon! Junmyeon, are you out here?!”

Junmyeon growled, slamming a fist into the bark above your head. “Oh, for crying out loud.”

You snorted, covering your mouth when Junmyeon shot you a look.

Chanyeol and Jongin came running through the trees. You straightened up, hoping that there was no evidence of what you and Junmyeon were doing left on your face.

“What is it?” Junmyeon asked grumpily. You could tell he was trying to remain calm and not be irritated at the boys in case it was a real emergency.

“Sorry to barge in,” Jongin actually looked really guilty, which made you want this whole thing end even quicker, “but no one can find Tao. Did he run past here?”

Junmyeon shook his head. “No, we haven’t. Why?”

“No one can find him,” Chanyeol explained. “He stormed off after the meeting. He seemed really pissed.”

“That’s not good.” Junmyeon ran a hand through his hair before glancing at you. Turning back to the other wolves, he asked, “Did you see what direction he took off in?”

“He went out the front door,” Jongin replied.  

“So, you think he went into town?” Junmyeon guessed.

Chanyeol shrugged. “Maybe? And you know Tao when he’s mad. He doesn’t really have the best control.”

“Alright.”

You could see how reluctant Junmyeon was to be the leader, to go after his wayward member, but it was an instinct that he couldn’t ignore.

“I guess I’ll go track him down,” Junmyeon sighed.

“I need to go back into town anyway,” you inserted. Maybe if you were the one to take him, he’d be less pouty about it.

“Luhan wants to go with you,” Chanyeol added. “Said if anything, he can drag Tao to the empty bar while he does opening work.”

Junmyeon nodded. “Okay, then. Let’s go.”

The four of you headed inside, grabbing Luhan before splitting off and going back outside to your car.

It wasn’t a very chatty car ride. Luhan stayed quiet in the back seat while Junmyeon held your hand from the passenger’s seat. He made random comments about the area’s history or how the road needed repaving every once in a while.

Apparently, Tao preferred to hang out downtown, so that’s where you dropped the two wolves off. You told Junmyeon that he could find you at the museum once he was done. When he questioned why you would go there, you simply shrugged and said to kill time.

That wasn’t entirely a lie. You really did like to spend free time at the museum, wandering around and trying to find new pieces to memorize.

But today you had a little mission.

Even though Junmyeon said he’d already gone through the little book of his family’s history, you thought that maybe a fresh pair of eyes could pick up some new clues.

Mrs. Kang wasn’t surprised to see you at all when she saw you in the main lobby. Junmyeon had told you earlier in the week that he had you added to the very limited list of people with access to the back room. Mrs. Kang handed you a key card with no hesitation and left you to go on your merry way. Getting a pair of cotton gloves from the supply closet, you buckled yourself down at the table in Junmyeon’s secret room after carefully taking out the book from its resting place.

You flipped through the pages slowly, gliding your eyes over the heavily faded words. Some paragraphs were almost completely illegible from the old ink wearing away with age. One particularly worn page caught your eye about halfway through the book. The edges were particularly feathered and torn, giving you the impression that this page’s contents were immensely important in the past. Almost all the writing was gone on the pages, but certain words you were able to make out.

Enemies.

Beware.

Hunted.

Future encounters.

Bingo.

At the very bottom of the page, underneath the missing information was a familiar looking symbol still present enough to make out. It was a circle overlapping three points. That could be the clue you were looking for in order to keep the pack - Junmyeon’s family - safe. But where did you take it from here?

Junmyeon came to the museum about forty-five minutes later, finding you in the “caveman” section, as Cam liked to describe it.

“Finding anything new and interesting?” he teased as he came up behind you, encircling his arms around your waist.

You shrugged lazily. “Perhaps. Did you find Tao?”

Junmyeon scoffed. “Yeah, he’s been found. But he’d ran off in the forest, not to town. Apparently, he just ran in a different direction than where we were.”

“Poor leader.” You turned around in his arms, linking your own around his neck. “It’s so hard being you.”

That just made him roll his eyes. “You’re so mean to me.”

You motioned to exit with your head. “Come on. Since I’m so mean, dinner’s on me.”

Junmyeon made his impressed face, the kind he made when a student in class gave him an answer he wasn’t expecting. “I like that idea. And I think I know just the place.”

**

Triquetragirl49: I’m glad that the new article helped!

Archaeology4life: It was a great read! Thank you!

Triquetragirl49: How’s the paper coming?

Archaeology4life: Not too bad! Teacher’s a hardass, though. Lol

Triquetragirl49: Well, hopefully he’ll at least enjoy your paper on irish werewolves.

Archaeology4life: Fingers crossed! If I don’t get an A, I might have to complain to the dean. Jk

Triquetragirl49: Remind me again why you were focusing on that subject?

Archaeology4life: I just came across something about werewolves and a connection to the triquetra in some research. I was surprised that they were both related to protection.

Triquetragirl49: Kind of related. Werewolves were still considered dangerous and best for everyone to stay away from them.

Triquetragirl49: At least, according to the legends, that is. Considering they’re not real!

Archaeology4life: I’m sure if wolves were real, they wouldn’t be dangerous.

Triquetragirl49: You never know. There’s a lot of scary stories out there lol.

Archaeology4life: Yeah… you’re right lol

Archaeology4life: Thank you again!

Triquetragirl49: Of course! Just let me know if you want to know anything else! I’ve enjoyed talking to you!

Archaeology4life: Same!

“What are you smiling at?”

You slammed the screen of your laptop shut just as Junmyeon slid into the empty space across from you in the breakfast booth. Since he had a department meeting this evening, you’d beaten him to the farmhouse and decided to kill some time by getting back in touch with your new internet friend.

Finding triquetagirl49 in a folklore chat room on a history website had been pure luck and she’d giving you so much information on how that old celtic symbol could be related to werewolves. It seemed more like a good thing, representing protection for both humans and wolves alike. You weren’t sure when you should share this information with Junmyeon or exactly how to present it, so you decided for now to just keep it to yourself for the time being.

“Funny article on The Mummy trilogy,” you lied smoothly.

He shook his head, laughing to himself. “You and those movies. Don’t you have them memorized by now?”

“Maybe,” you pouted. “We can watch something else, though, if you want. Or do something else. We don’t have to watch a movie.”

Junmyeon held out two hands, moving them up and down like a pair of scales. “Let’s see… hold my mate close on my bed while we watch her favorite movie or do something else that involves less intimate time and possibly run into someone else in the pack.” He gave you a pointed look. “I think movie wins.”

You beamed. “Good!” Hopping up, you started for the staircase. “Let’s go!”

Junmyeon laughed as he followed you up to his bedroom. By luck, a majority of the wolves were out and about with their mates on this beautiful friday night. Since you and your wolf still had to be careful about who saw you together, it was a night in for the pair of you. But you didn’t mind. In fact, you had been looking forward to it all week.

Jumping on the bed, you pushed yourself all the way up to the headboard while Junmyeon turned on the TV and readied the movie before heading into the bathroom. While you waited on him, you fluffed up the pillows to make yourself more comfortable.

When he emerged from the bathroom, you tried to keep your focus on the bright screen. Junmyeon had decided that it was completely appropriate to come out in just a pair of sweatpants. Just sweatpants. No shirt.

He was such a tease.

You made no protest as he wrapped his arms around you, pulling you in close to him. Leaning your head on his chest, you watched the movie for a good fifteen minutes or so until the scene with Rachel Weisz in the museum, knocking over the bookshelves and creating that cringe-worthy disaster came on the screen.

That’s when Junmyeon got a little restless.

At first, he was just playing with your fingers and planting kisses on your shoulder. Then he moved his lips up to your neck, tickling the sensitive skin. Out of reflex, you flinched into the kiss, closing off access from Junmyeon.

“It’s cute that you know every word,” he whispered. It was obvious that he cared nothing for the movie and he was just trying to distract you and maybe even give him all your attention instead.

Taking the bait, you turned to tell him to be quiet. Before one word could escape your lips, he’d captured them in his own. You never saw another minute of the movie, too preoccupied to pay it any mind.

Oh, well. There was always next time and your wolf needed your special attention.

[junkieby-grace-blog]

To my beautiful, Blue-Eyes

I'm so sorry for all the petty fights we had; they weren't worth all nights we were too angry to say 'I love you' before hanging up on one another. All the name-calling and insulting I did, while I was hurting, and I missed you too much to call you babe and I was on the verge of losing it; I'm sorry lots of people, treated my heart like it was just a piece of paper, and they were so quick to ruin it and throw it all away... every note, and lyric, doodle and love poem written upon it, thrown into the abyss of garbage awaiting the company of this tragic, battered piece of paper. I'm sorry that I told you that I didnt have to explain things to you, as if, you being in prison made you any less of half in this relationship; it doesn't. Your opinions always mattered, and whether it's over a phone, written in a letter somewhere in a paragraph, or you say it as we go to sleep, and your lips are whispering sweet, never ending good nights, in my ear 2 inches away from me. Those moments, mean so much more to me than I ever told you they did; I was more focused on protecting my heart from getting pummeled, rather than embracing a love I knee I'd never experience again, had you ever decided that I wasnt worth all the trouble, someday in the future: near or far.

Darling, my deepest apologies for treating you as less than me, and holding resentments against you knowing you were sick; it wasnt fair of me to expect forgiveness to the fullest extent, and not reciprocate it back... I'm a damaged human, and things are hard to do, no matter how much I want to do them, like forgiveness for instance... I'm sorry for reminding you that you aren't ever here when i need you most; I'm sorry that I make you feel inadequate, and like the worst husband ever... your love means everything to me, and even after you move on from me, and start a life with someone new, I'll still feel that same exact way, and I'll miss your love from afar, but pray to the gods above that you are loved by someone who could do a far better job than I did, loving you. I used to believe no one could love you more than me, until it was apparent that maybe my love wasnt what you needed from the jump; that thought scares the hell out of me, but jesus Christ I beg to God that you needed me the way I need you...even if it was only for a small moment in time; I'll always miss you... I hope you know that. Please know, that I love you more than the sun loves the moon, and my stars shine bright as day and only for you and you're the only one in my universe, and you will be forever. I truly meant the words I vowed to you, so long before we said them at church... so long before we even got the chance... in case you're reading this, dont cry for my absence. I'll be with you for the rest of your life, watching you live and grow into the man you are supposed to be and I'm so very proud of you my darling... please do not cry, or feel alone, for I am always with you. Someone will love you, the way you truly needed, and be more for you than I ever could imagine to be.. Lastly, I'm sorry that I didnt make it to our wedding day, or to even see you make it home. I'd like to say I put up a good fight, but I gave in so easily and I was exhausted... it was selfish, and impulsive but it was the best choice I ever made for the both of us.. you deserved a chance to live; to love, and be loved; to experience happiness in its rawest forms... and I'm sorry I wasnt right next to you, when all the best memories you have were made, and I'm sorry you had to say goodbye, long after I was already put of this world... watching you cry for so long, I knew would kill me, but I had to save your life from the demon that occupied mine... I wouldnt change it if I had to go back...

You may not ever understand how any of this is out of love, just know I loved you enough, to figure out how to keep you living regardless of if I was present or not; this was the better option... I'm proud of you. And am so happy for the life, I've watched you make for yourself... just know I always hear your 'i love yous' and i hear you end the petty fight first, now so, you never miss that i love you when you say goodnight. I saw you learned.

Thank you.

Forever and always,

Your ghost wife xoxo

[otterplusharchive]

im going to be tagging this appropriately but i want to give a warning at the beginning of this post also that ill be talking about suicide/suicide attempts and death overall in it, its something that because of recent events (thatll become clear further on in this post) ive been thinking about and trying to word. im sorry that this is probably going to be long but ill put a tldr at the end for a large chunk of my life ive been suicidal. im 20 right now and from the ages of 13 to 18 i can tell you that there wasnt a day that went by that i didnt think about killing myself and it was normal for me to try and kill myself once a week. looking back on it now i know that my household and school environment have both been toxic and abusive to me since an early age and that i really was depressed even before i was 13. thoughout my struggles i felt so alone, and the one thought that kept nagging at me was "i dont matter. no one would miss me if i were gone. nothing would change if i were gone. people would be happier if i were gone". last week, my friend passed away. i still dont know the cause, he was still young and healthy, he did obstical courses and had to be physically fit for his job. when i found out that he had died it hit me like a pile of bricks and all i could feel was numb. he wasnt an incredibly close friend, i didnt know everything there was to know about him, but he was still my friend. in my dnd group he was one of two people who i felt respected by and who would treat me with kindness. he made jokes with me, helped me with my characters, asked me how i was doing. he may not have been my best friend but he was still a part of my life and still a friend. over the course of the week it was hard to soak in that someone i cared about was really gone. i kept thinking about how i hadnt gone to dnd in easily a month, kept wondering when the last time i wouldve said goodbye to him was. it really did feel like suddenly a part of my life was shattered and there was a gaping hole there. i couldnt wrap my head around it, it just didnt make sense, i didnt understand why this had happened and i felt guilty for not appreciating my time with him more while he was here. the wake came at the end of the week and a dear friend and i drove to the funeral home, which was actually literally just one turn away from the house where we played dnd with him. we all thought that we would just be saying goodbye to an urn, because it was our friends wish to be cremated, but i stepped inside the funeral home, saw the open casket, and it felt like my heart stopped. i knew i wouldnt be able to handle seeing my friend lying there dead. there were a few people we knew there, most from theater and dnd. we headed over to one particular person who happens to be the tallest man ive ever met. hes a very nice person but when you look at him out of context he seems very imposing and not necessarily friendly. ive known this guy since i was ten and i have never once seen him the way he was at the funeral home. his eyes were red and it was obvious that he had been sobbing, and when he greeted each of us he gave me a big crushing hug and i could just. feel how horrible this was for him. hed grown up with our friend who was lying there in the room. i eventually walked over to the casket and to my friends family, none of who i had ever met, and as soon as i tried to talk to his mother i started crying. i told her through tears that her son had been very kind to me and that i appreciated him a lot. i couldnt walk all the way to the casket because it was too much. i whispered goodbye and left. we drove back in silence. tldr: you have more of an impact on people than you realize. you impact the lives of people you meet even for a moment, even if you never meet them again you still have affected them by meeting them no matter how fleeting. even if youre not best friends with someone your presence still matters and changes both the world and peoples lives. and their lives are absolutely not the same without you. no matter how alone you might feel i can absolutely guarentee that you would be missed. you ALWAYS matter. you ALWAYS are important. your life always has inherent worth and inherent value. youre important to the universe and the people in your life, you matter and the world wouldnt be the same without you. the world is better with you in it and im glad that youre alive. please dont give up on yourself, you are so loved.