#i imagine andromeda’s and reg’s relationship a bit like that

[motherfuckingmaneater]

I don't know if you've answered this question before. Who do you imagine as Sirius and Regulus? What do you think his relationship with Bellatrix was like? I'm honestly intrigued by the relationship she had with the Black brothers, especially Regulus. She must have spent quite a bit of time with him, what do you think were her thoughts about him?

my favourite fc for Sirius will always be Ben Barnes:

i'm always undecided on Reggie but I like Timothee most:

Reg's relationship with Bellatrix I always find to be much deeper than Regulus with either Narcissa or Andromeda, but not as close as Sirius and Bellatrix had been before Sirius left. Don't get me wrong, Sirius and Bellatrix were a very different kind of close to that of Regulus and Bellatrix. I imagine she was very much the older sister for him. I think Regulus was fairly impressionable, particularly when it came to Bellatrix. I imagine though he made every choice to join Voldemort of his own volition just as Bellatrix had, it was certainly easier to do so because of her.

I imagine she adored him as she did all her family. I will forever headcanon her soft spots are Narcissa and Sirius but I don't doubt she for one moment loved Andromeda and Regulus any less.

According to the books she's not so much older than him if we're assuming he's only a couple of years younger than Sirius, likely only about 7 years and maybe a little less if its suggested they were at Hogwarts at the same time (which I don't believe they were but Bellatrix and Sirius were) but even then I'm sure he was treated like the little Prince he undoubtedly was.

I think Bellatrix was his confidant too. I headcanon that Regulus was gay (or at least bisexual with a lean towards men) but that he'd do his duty and would've married a pureblood witch to make more pureblood babies and I personally like the idea he told Bellatrix this.

I don't think she spent as much time with him as he wanted to spend with her but yes they spent a lot of time together. I imagine he stuck rather close to her but she was far more outgoing than he ever was.

I imagine him as introverted and Bellatrix as magnetic, not extroverted but somewhere between, mysterious enough but adored by all in their circles. I think he admired her a lot.

However I think their relationship was complicated. I think she missed Sirius and so did he, so they put a lot of that onto each other. I think Bellatrix was never quite satisfied with Regulus because he wasn't enough like his brother and I think Regulus, who saw Bellatrix as very much a better mirror of his estranged brother, was constantly wanting more from Bellatrix. More she perhaps was not always willing to give him (unless he gave her a good reason to give it). I think she capitalised entirely on his clinginess and desire to be close to her as well as the secrets he'd shared with her and though she would never let him come in harms way, I think she knew exactly how to use him and wasn't afraid of doing so.

I could go on forever about the complexities of them...but anyway, hope this answers your questions for now.

[my-castles-crumbling]

hi cas, reg kin anon back already haha

(again, cw/tw for medical stuff and complicated family dynamics)

firstly, thank you for your supportive and kind words, they really do mean a lot to me (and everyone else you help; youre genuinely such a wonderful person and deserve everything good in life ♡)

i think ive come to the conclusion that i havent really processed the whole situation yet, honestly. even though i wrote it to you, i havent actually said the words out loud about my mother's diagnosis (and honestly writing them out again is a struggle haha, like my fingers are blocked from doing it), and it kind of feels like saying it makes it real? does that make sense? i dunno. it feels so impossible to imagine my mother being genuinely sick with something so serious. 'my mother' and 'cancer' dont fit in the same sentence.

but i didnt really realise until now just how major of a major life event this is for everyone and everything. because (and remember, i have a very complicated relationship with my mother. i once defined it as 'i dont have to like you to love you' and i think thats really relevant to now, too) my mother was going to help me with moving out (both buying things ill need, as well as actually moving out on the day) but she told me yesterday that ill have to go out to get things myself because she physically cant right now. i didnt think id mind so much, i like having my own independance and doing things myself, but i went out today to buy everything i need and i was struggling so much more than i thought. i genuinely almost had a breakdown crying in the first shop i went to.

honestly part of that was because i had no idea what i needed or where was best to get it or what any of the fancy words about different types of stuff meant (like, who even knows what depth their mattress is to buy the right bedsheet?? what is a tog??? whats the difference between a bath sheet and a bath towel?? they look the same!) but also because that was something we were supposed to do together. i dont like her and theres so much about her i want to change, but theres a huge part of me that was looking forward to a parent/child experience that so many normal families have, especially because i didnt get a lot of other typical 'growing up' moments with my parents due to how my family is.

part of me, in all honesty, considered waiting to move out, partly so that she could still be part of it, and partly so that i was in a better place emotionally to be able to handle the change. but if i were to do that, id have to wait another year (im moving out to go to university, and i already put it off last year to get a job instead because i was scared and anxious about university) and i dont know that i could go a whole extra year stuck at home. theoretically, i could afford to move out and rent (or buy, if i went to one of the cheap areas) when i felt ready in however many months time, but itd be a huge drain on my savings and would be nowhere near where ill be for school the following year so itd be a waste of money and time. itd be stupid and silly for me to put off university for another year, but i did consider it. i wont, but part of me is scared and wants to.

i met up with my older brother for lunch while i was out (who, sticking with the black family dynamics, is kind of like the andromeda of my family. he moved out 5 years ago to break away from the family and rarely comes home, and is probably the one person in my life who i feel genuinely comfortable and safe around) and we talked about it which was nice, especially considering my family is typically very much a 'do not talk about your feelings at all' sort of family, and as a whole we have not discussed anything further about my mother's health or how we're all handling it since that first conversation. he was super gentle and caring and honestly that in itself made me want to cry a bit because hes just so not at all like our parents?? idk who raised him but i wish theyd raised me too hahaha

but anyway, he was really open and supporting with me. he talked a bit about how he was feeling (which was super validating, because he was also hit hard by it and had complex feelings about it all) and he was really clear too that if i needed anything at all, i could always go to him and would always be welcome at his flat if i needed time away, even when i move out. (seriously, who raised this perfect older brother????) basically he was everything i needed in that moment and i am really genuinely thankful he exists, so at least my parents made one decent thing haha

still, though. i think its starting to hit me now just how many things are going to change and, as selfish as it is, how many things im going to lose and miss out on because of it. i dont like my mother, but i want her there to help me take that next step in my adult life, yknow? she, nor my father, have explicitly said she wont be able to help on moving day, but its not likely, and theres no way on earth i could ever ask whether she will (again: selfish thinking.)

my brother did mention, though, that the type of cancer our mother has is apparently one of the worse types if it isnt caught early enough. as far as i understand it (which isnt much, honestly, i dont understand much with medicine), she has cancer in her abdomen and its usually caught too late to get rid of. i didnt know this until today, i think our father didnt want to worry me? but i dont actually know how far along the cancer is (which stage it is? i think thats the right term) and i dont know at what stage it becomes too late. my brother also didnt seem to know, but now thats put a new worry in my head because my father explicitly did not mention that to me, so of course my brain has jumped to conclusions about why and what that means. im trying not to spiral, but ever since i found out about her diagnosis, i dont actually think ive gone ten minutes without 'fuck, my mother has cancer' or something similar going through my head, and restarting the breakdown id just pushed down again.

as expected, my sister was already making inappropriate jokes about it by the next time i saw her. i spoke to my brother about this too (hes cut contact with her entirely, like i plan to) and that was part of why he offered to let me stay with him if i ever needed; to escape our sister as much as our mother. i dont understand how she doesnt care a single bit. i know shes never got along with our parents but like, at least have a little decency and sensitivity?? she was literally laughing about it and i just... i dont get how someone could be such an awful person. sure whatever, she doesnt have to be upset if she really doesnt care, but thats crossing a fucking line.

this is getting to be another long ask so im gonna stop here for now, but before i do i just want to say thank you again for being such a safe place for myself and others. you are so, so wonderful cas ♡

- reg kin anon

Hi hon ❤️❤️❤️

I know there’s not a lot I can say right now to make you feel better because unfortunately I don’t know the future. I don’t know how this will turn out and neither do you. But I want to say again that your feelings - all of them - are okay and valid and none of them are bad or shameful. It’s okay to mourn the things that you might miss and it’s okay to have mixed emotions. No feelings are right or wrong here, and I’m here when you need to vent. Also I know move in Day will be hard but I’m so proud of you for continuing to prepare for university.

Sending so much love ❤️

[mirrorbxlls]

(god i've had this partially finished in drafts for a while but im actually gonna post it now)

the 1 by taylor swift (specifically the bridge and the last verse/chorus idk but all of it kinda works) is regulus talking to sirius, hear me out in this overly detailed explanation:

so like the "I'm doing good, I'm on some new shit/Been saying "yes" instead of "no"/I thought I saw you at the bus stop, I didn't though/I hit the ground running each night/I hit the Sunday matinée/You know the greatest films of all time were never made" bit is about regulus trying to move on with the slytherin skittles and his own new group of friends and sort of trying to imitate what sirius found with the marauders and the other gryffindors. the bit about the greatest films of all time never being made is how sirius and regulus definitely had their shared dreams and ideas that they were planning on doing together when they grew up.

the chorus "But we were something, don't you think so?/Roaring 20s, tossing pennies in the pool/And if my wishes came true/It would've been you" basically talking about how they were everything to each other when they were younger, and if regulus had gotten his wish then it would have just been him and sirius forever. and "In my defense, I have none/For never leaving well enough alone/But it would've been fun/If you would've been the one" is talking about how regulus probably felt after sirius came back from hogwarts, and regulus felt like sirius had moved on and he had just become a bother, despite how much he might have wanted to keep playing with him and creating their own little fantasy world.

okay so next is the verse: "I have this dream you're doing cool shit/Having adventures on your own/You meet some woman on the internet and take her home". i imagine this is reg when he was a little lonely kid, imagining all of the amazing adventures sirius was having without him. honestly y'all, it breaks my heart thinking about how lonely it would have been in grimmauld place for most of the year for him like-

the next bit of the second verse and the second chorus are basically along similar lines of the first, like reg just saying how the love they had for each other was super meaningful and yet sirius lowkey tossed it away like it was nothing, even before he left for james (no hate to sirius btw, just trying to say what reg was probably feeling while sirius was out and actually enjoying his life)

anyhoo, the bridge and final chorus are where things get especially black brothers-coded (or even narcissa/andromeda coded but we are not going into allat right now). So the bridge (is it the bridge?) is "I, I, I persist and resist the temptation to ask you/If one thing had been different/Would everything be different today?", which is basically reg wondering about whether any differences to what he did would change what happened, especially when sirius ran away. if sirius didn't run away would they have gotten closer? if regulus had stood up for sirius would they both be kicked out? yk, that kind of questioning.

"We were something, don't you think so?/Rosé flowing with your chosen family/And it would've been sweet/If it could've been me/In my defense, I have none/For digging up the grave another time/But it would've been fun//If you would've been the one" is definitely the MOST sirius and regulus coded bit in the song. like? the whole rosé flowing with your chosen family? regulus definitely would have seen the partying around the school hosted by the gryffindors, so he most likely would have seen sirius in his element, surrounded by the people he chose to call family.

i think that towards the end of the song, it's definitely a more mellowed, wistful kind of longing for sirius. regulus knows that he's not sirius' first choice, and he's learnt to be okay with that. his self-blame is a bit more sarcastic now, because it was never his fault for trying to re-establish the relationship between them. and sure, while it would have been fun if sirius was still standing by him, being the older brother that regulus wanted him to be, reg sort of found his own chosen family.

shit i like completely lost where i was going with that but yeah 🙃 good job for making it through to the end

[ravenclaw-has-claws]

Regulus: *realizes his mistake, as Andromeda is no longer part of the Black Family, having chosen the Mudblood over them*