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doeeyeseddie · 1 day ago

Note

Piaaaaaa "brushing their arm against the other's, hoping the other would finally catch their arm and hold it close" please, we already know they constantly brush arms anyway!

fridaaaa this took me, once again, many months to get to and i sort of only vaguely filled the actual prompt, but i hope you still enjoy it <3

5+1 things, rated t, wc: 4k

[read on ao3]

Eddie’s first day as a probationary firefighter is…interesting. Captain Nash welcomes him with the same warm smile he gave him the first time they talked, then leads him inside and shows him around the app bay.

“We’ll give you the full tour later,” he promises, “after you’ve met the rest of the team. You’re the first one here, if you want, you can change into your uniform now.”

He points towards the locker room – which has glass walls for some reason – and Eddie nods.

He’s just finished buttoning up his shirt when Captain Nash ushers a group of firefighters inside. Eddie runs a hand through his hair to make sure it’s tidy and smiles as Hen and Chimney introduce themselves to him with warm smiles and handshakes, welcoming him to the team.

There’s a third person with them, hovering in the background and glowering at Eddie. He’s young, probably around Eddie’s age, tall and very built, and despite his hostile expression, he doesn’t give Eddie the impression of being an asshole. It’s like the expression doesn’t fit on his face, like he’s not used to wearing it.

Chim grabs him by the arm and pushes him forward, giving Eddie a commiserating smile.

“And this guy is Buck,” he says. “He was our probie before you.”

“Nice to meet you,” Eddie says politely, stretching a hand out to offer a handshake. “You’ll have to show me how things work around here, then.”

Buck glowers down at his hand, and when he finally grabs it, he squeezes it too tightly, like he’s trying to prove something. Eddie squeezes back, amused by the pretense this guy is clearly putting on.

Behind Buck’s back, Hen rolls her eyes, but she’s also wearing a fond look, which only confirms Eddie’s assumption that Buck isn’t half as bad as he’s pretending to be.

From Captain Nash, he knows that they’re supposed to work together a lot of the time, so that’s gonna be interesting. He doesn’t know why Buck is acting like this, but he’s gonna find out, and then he’s gonna figure out a way to work with Buck anyway.

He didn’t come here to make friends, but he’ll be spending 50 hours a week with these people, and he has to trust them with his life for a lot of that time, so they at the very least need to bury whatever hatchet Buck is carrying right now.

Eddie lets go of his hand with a nod and a polite smile, and gives himself a week to figure Buck out.

II.

The days between the accident and the funeral are kind of a blur.

There’s too much to do and think about, too many decisions to make, too many people to call, too much to organize. He has help – Abuela, Pepa, the entire 118, but it still feels too much.

Shannon was 27, she didn’t have a will, they never talked about any of this. How is Eddie supposed to know how she would like to be buried, or if she’d rather be cremated? What kind of music she would want them to play at her funeral? This wasn’t supposed to happen. Not for a very, very long time.

But it did happen, and now Eddie is somehow supposed to know all this about her, his wife, the woman he’s only just let back into his and Christopher’s lives, the woman who asked him for a divorce and completely pulled the rug from under his feet just a day before she died.

Sometimes, he feels like he didn’t know her at all.

His parents are here “to help”, which should be a relief but really isn’t. They never liked Shannon and aren’t making a secret of it, even now that– now that she’s gone. So Eddie can’t involve them in the funeral planning, and he can’t even leave Christopher with them because he’s scared that they’re gonna take the opportunity to grab him and run, and someone needs to make sure that Shannon’s memory is honored, but she didn’t have any family except him and Christopher, and Chris is seven, so Eddie has to be the one to make this funeral beautiful, something she’d deserve, but he doesn’t know– there’s so much–

“Eddie,” someone says next to him, snapping him out of his spiral. “Come on, breathe with me.”

Eddie stares at Buck’s chest as it rises and falls with exaggerated breaths, trying to match him. When did Buck get here? He doesn’t remember letting him in, doesn’t really remember what he was doing before he started hyperventilating on his couch.

“Chris,” he gasps when he realizes that also means he’s not sure where his kid is. And of course he’s the kind of father who would do that only days after his kid lost his mom, maybe his parents are–

“Is with Hen and Karen,” Buck says firmly, grabbing his forearm. “He’s gonna spend the day with them and Denny, probably getting spoiled rotten. I borrowed Pepa’s key when we went over there so they could pick him up, she told me you might not open – sorry for barging in here, but I’m glad I did. I know you– I wanted to– Bobby and Athena are running interference with your parents. And I’m here to help you with all that.” He gestures towards the couch table that’s covered in forms, leaflets from funeral homes, and cards from grief counselors. “After Abby’s mom– I helped plan her funeral. So I’ve got some experience.”

Eddie just stares at him, biting the inside of his cheek hard to stop himself from crying. He trusts Buck, but he still doesn’t want to cry in front of him, doesn’t want to cry in front of anyone. But he does think that maybe he should give Buck his own copy of a key, so he won’t have to borrow Pepa’s next time.

Buck squeezes his forearm and gives him a small, sad smile. “We’re all here for you, Eddie. I got your back, remember?”

Eddie blinks against the tears in his eyes and swallows around the lump in his throat that’s keeping him from saying anything.

Instead, he twists his arm from Buck’s grip and grabs his hand instead, squeezing it in a silent thank you.

Buck squeezes back and keeps holding on.

III.

Buck gets to go home earlier than anyone expected, but Eddie has been to his new apartment, so he isn’t surprised when Buck texts him a picture of his couch with a sad face. It’s not ideal, but at least he has a bathroom downstairs and a girlfriend who can help if he struggles with anything.

Until he doesn’t have that girlfriend anymore.

Eddie doesn’t find out until after his shield ceremony, days after, actually, once his parents have finally gone home to Texas.

Buck says he’s fine, obviously, but Eddie starts going over every day he doesn’t have a shift anyway, because he knows Buck and can see how much he’s struggling with the whole situation, with the uncertainty of when and how he can return to work.

He brings Christopher most of the time. They’re not having the best summer either, Eddie still worries that he’s not doing enough to help Christopher deal with his grief, when he can barely keep his own head above the water of grief, guilt and fear.

Carla is doing what she can, watching Christopher whenever Eddie’s working, she found him a grief counselor and is even looking into more permanent therapists.

None of it changes the fact that they’re grieving.

But when Christopher gets to hang out with Buck, he lights up every time, and so does Buck, which makes this a two birds with one stone kind of situation. Hanging out with Buck helps them both, too, makes their grief not the first thing on their minds for a little while.

Buck can’t move much, so they play board games and try to find one they all enjoy equally – it’s not easy, since Eddie likes luck-based games (he plays poker with his abuela and tía whenever he can), Buck prefers trivia and games relying on knowledge, while Christopher likes strategic games most.

But everyone gets to pick sometimes, and when they don’t want to play board games, they switch to video games instead.

Eddie knew that Buck and Chris get along well, they have ever since the first time they met, when Buck drove Eddie to Chris’ school after the earthquake during Eddie’s second week at the 118. But with how much time the three of them are spending together now, he can see them growing closer every day – and he loves it.

Buck is his best friend, and he genuinely cares about Christopher in a way that feels completely independent from Eddie.

One evening, while they’re playing a few rounds of Christopher’s current favorite video game after dinner, the kid falls asleep between them on the couch.

Buck smiles down at him and lowers the volume of the TV, which means he loses even more clearly to Eddie, but he had the win in the bag anyway, he’s sure.

Buck rolls his eyes at him when Eddie celebrates his victory with big, silent gestures, but he’s smiling, too.

Eddie grins at him, resting his arm on the back of the couch behind Chris, and Buck twists a little to face him. His leg, resting outstretched on the couch table in front of them, moves with him, and Eddie slides Christopher’s glass of water out of the way in a practiced move.

“I know you’re here to keep an eye on me,” Buck says, “and I should probably be annoyed. I– I was kind of annoyed, at first. But it’s hard to stay annoyed when he’s here, right?” He nods down at Christopher. “And I guess you’re okay, too.”

“Wow, thanks,” Eddie says, but he knows his glare isn’t convincing. “To be clear, we’re all keeping an eye on each other.”

“Yeah, yeah.” Buck reaches for Eddie’s hand, still on the backrest between them, and squeezes it – just for a moment, like he’s trying to get Eddie’s attention, like he doesn’t already have it anyway. “Thanks.”

IV.

Everything sucks.

It’s the uncertainty that gets to Eddie most, the not knowing how to help, how to stay safe, how to keep his loved ones safe. How long this is gonna last.

Every day, they have to see people die from a virus they know nothing about, and can’t do anything against.

And afterwards, they can’t even go home.

Christopher is part of a high risk group, and Eddie risks exposure at work every day, so obviously, he can’t endanger him by living with him. Chimney feels the same way about Maddie, and Hen also wants to keep her family safe, which is how the three of them ended up at Buck’s apartment, where they’ve been camped out for the past three weeks.

It’s generous of Buck to let them all stay with him, but the loft is not made for four people to live there, and they’re all feeling it.

Eddie loves his friends, but spending every minute of every day with them is starting to wear on him. They all try to give each other space, using the balcony as an extra room or going for runs outside, but there’s only so much they can do.

He hates being separated from Chris, it makes him feel like he’s breaking his promise to never leave him behind again. Christopher says he understands, but Eddie worries anyway. He trusts Pepa, who’s working fully remote and offered to stay with Chris, and they talk every day, but it’s not the same as being there.

Whenever he talks to Chris on the phone, he feels better in the moment, but worse the second they hang up. While they’re talking, he can almost pretend that things are normal, but it all comes crashing down afterwards.

He hasn’t hugged his son in weeks, and he has no idea when he’s even gonna see him in person again.

Buck joins their calls most of the time, at least for a few minutes, and he sits next to Eddie on the bed now, shoulders slumped where they’re touching Eddie’s. In a world where he has to keep his distance from almost everyone, except the patients he’s treating and the people he’s living with, touching and being touched by Buck is a real comfort.

“This won’t be forever, Eddie,” he says, almost desperately.

“But for how long?” Eddie asks, and it comes out sounding a little wobbly.

He’s not embarrassed by it anymore – Buck’s seen him in all kinds of situations, and they’re currently sharing a bed, so he’s seen him cry anyway.

“I–I wish I knew,” Buck says. “I wish I could– fix this.”

Eddie wipes at his eye and laughs a little. “The whole pandemic?”

“If I could, yeah.” Buck shrugs.

Eddie presses even closer to him for a moment, a gentle pressure of their shoulders, arms and thighs against each other. “I wish you could, too. But even if you can’t – I’m glad you’re here.”

“Of course.” Buck smiles at him and places his hand on Eddie’s thigh, palm up.

Eddie smiles back and grabs his hand, squeezing tightly.

“Okay,” he says, taking a deep breath. “I think it’s our turn to make dinner tonight – you ready?”

“Ready when you are,” Buck says, but he doesn’t let go until Eddie does.

After Chris has gone to sleep, after Eddie has finally stopped crying, after Buck has wrapped his knuckles and cleaned up the worst of the mess in Eddie’s bedroom – the shards, the pieces of drywall, the fallen furniture, he makes up the couch for Eddie to sleep on. Eddie wants to help him, to tell him that he’ll just sleep in his room, but he can’t seem to move from his seat at the dining table.

Everything feels like too much, his hands hurt and his head worse, and he can’t stand the thought of Buck leaving. He’s exhausted, but he knows he won’t sleep if Buck goes home now.

But he can’t ask him to stay, not after Buck already dropped everything because Eddie couldn’t keep it together. He probably had plans, and Eddie ruined those too.

He can already feel the hot burn of tears behind his eyes again and drops his forehead onto his arms, folded on the table in front of him.

Buck’s hand lands on his back, warm, then travels up to squeeze the back of his neck gently.

“You ready to sleep?” he murmurs, and Eddie makes a noncommittal sound. “Come on, you must be exhausted.”

Eddie shrugs and Buck’s thumb brushes along his hairline.

“You don’t have to go in there, I can get you anything you need,” Buck says quietly. “And I’ll be right next to you in case you have a nightmare.”

“You’re staying?” Eddie asks, lifting his head. Buck’s hand stays where it is.

“Of course, Eddie,” Buck says, like it’s that easy.

And maybe it is that easy, Eddie thinks when they settle in next to each other in the living room, Eddie on the couch and Buck on a makeshift bed next to it. He’s pushed the couch table to the side to make room for it and it looks like he’s dragged Eddie’s mattress here, so at least Eddie doesn’t need to worry about him sleeping on the floor.

They’ve been by each other’s side through so much shit, maybe it’s not such a surprise that Buck wants to be here now too. He’s just not sure he deserves it.

“I’m sorry,” he says, staring up at the ceiling instead of looking at Buck. “You had plans– I’m sure you didn’t want to–”

“You have nothing to apologize for,” Buck says firmly. “Of course I’ll come whenever Christopher calls. O–or if you need me. I’m here, okay?”

“I keep thinking about her,” Eddie mumbles, pressing the heels of his hands to his burning eyes. “Mills. Last August– I should’ve– if I’d picked up the phone earlier–”

“This isn’t on you.” There’s rustling and then Buck is gripping Eddie’s forearms, trying to gently pull his hands away from his face. “I d-don’t know what Mills was going through, but I know that you couldn’t have known how bad it was. It’s sad, and it’s unfair, but it’s not your fault. And I know you’re feeling all these things now, but Eddie– I’m so happy you’re still here. I need you to– know that. Okay?”

Eddie finally lowers his arms, but instead of letting go fully, Buck just grabs his right hand and holds on. His eyes are wide and scared, and Eddie has scared too many people he loves tonight.

“Okay,” he says, even though– well. What makes him special? Why should he be the only one to get out? He’s not a better person than any of them, he doesn’t have a right to happiness or whatever he’s been deluding himself into believing he could have.

But he knows that he can’t tell Buck that now (or ever), knows that it’s a dark road to go down.

Maybe for tonight, with Buck by his side, he can keep the thoughts at bay for a little bit longer. After that– he has no idea. But Buck is still holding his hand, and Eddie may not deserve him, but he trusts him.

He thinks it may just give him enough hope to get through this night.

+ I

“This was nice,” Buck says, holding the door for Eddie as they leave the restaurant. “You, uh, you really didn’t have to pay, though.”

“I wanted to,” Eddie says with a smile, glancing right towards their cars and then left to where the beach is only a short walk away, and finally back to Buck’s face, finding him already looking back. “How do you feel about taking a walk?”

Buck grins, turning left. “Let’s go.”

They’re not on a date, or at least they haven’t called it that, but Eddie has been thinking that it feels like one all night. Technically, they’re two friends trying out a new restaurant together. They drove here separately, no one pulled anyone’s chair out, they talked the same way they always do.

But Eddie spent half an hour picking something to wear tonight, Buck is wearing a shirt that looks new and gorgeous and fit for a date, and every time their eyes caught across the table, Eddie thought that maybe, Buck wouldn’t pull away if he reached out and took his hand.

It’s not the first time Eddie has thought that. Ever since Buck and Tommy broke up, it’s felt like maybe they’re heading towards something, familiar touches lingering and turning into something new, gazes catching and then holding instead of looking away.

Buck was upset for a little while afterwards, but he admitted to Eddie that it was more about another failed relationship – and his first one with a man, after he thought he’d finally figured out what was missing, than about Tommy as a person.

He went on a couple of dates, with men and women, but nothing ever stuck.

Eddie was going through his own stuff at the time – he eventually came out to Buck a week before Chris finally came home, and Buck hasn’t been on a date since.

Sometimes, Eddie wonders (hopes), if the two things are related.

Still, neither of them has called tonight a date – yet.

Eddie glances at Buck’s profile while they’re walking, and wonders what he’s waiting for.

Yes, it’s scary because Buck is the most important person in his life right after Christopher, but it’s also not, because this is Buck. Who has been by Eddie’s side through the worst, most painful, most humiliating times of his life, and is still here. Buck, who Eddie trusts with his life, and his son, and his heart.

Buck smiles at him and Eddie smiles back, heartbeat picking up. He’s doing this, he’s gonna tell Buck how he feels. Any minute now, he’s gonna be brave enough.

“Hey,” Buck says, “it’s just me.”

“I know,” Eddie says, and his heart thumps against his ribs. He lets his fingers brush against Buck’s on their next swing and watches as Buck bites his lip, smiling down at the ground. Hushed, like a confession, he adds, “Are you nervous, too?”

Buck looks back up at him then, eyes glittering in the dark. “Y-yeah. I am.”

They’ve reached the edge of the beach by now and bend down to take off their shoes without having to talk about it.

When they start walking again, they’re even closer than before, the backs of their hands, their elbows and shoulders all brushing with every step.

Eddie keeps stealing glances at Buck, and almost every time, Buck is already looking back.

There aren’t many people at the beach at this time of day, so they don’t come close to anyone else, and all they hear is the sand beneath their feet and the waves crashing a few feet away. The moon is big enough to be reflected on the sea, a beautiful sight, but Eddie still can’t look away from Buck for long.

“So, this is, uh, kind of romantic,” Buck blurts out after a few quiet minutes. “Right? I–I’m not misreading that?”

“No,” Eddie says. “I mean– you’re not misreading it.”

“But you’re nervous.”

When their knuckles brush again, Eddie stretches out his fingers and catches Buck’s, holding on. Buck’s own fingers tighten immediately, and it gives Eddie the last bit of courage he needs.

“Well, yeah. Buck–” He stops walking, and Buck follows, turning so he’s facing Eddie. He’s close enough that Eddie can see his expression despite the dark, and he looks terrified, hopeful, nervous and excited at the same time, all of which Eddie feels, too. Eddie takes a deep breath. “I’m nervous because– nothing…no one’s ever been this important.”

A smile spreads out across Buck’s face, slowly deepening the crinkles around his eyes. “So this was a date?”

“Did it feel like one to you, too?”

Buck’s smile widens. “Yeah, i–it did. And I’m–I’m nervous too, of course. Eddie, if we do this, there’s no going back for me. I can’t– lose you. You and Christopher, you’re too important.”

He pulls on Eddie’s hand a little, and Eddie takes another step closer, drops his shoes in the sand and places his free hand on Buck’s shoulder, thumb resting against his collarbone.

“It’s the same for me,” he says quietly. He shivers when Buck grabs his waist, the warmth of his hand seeping through Eddie’s shirt. “I– We don’t know what’s gonna happen. But, Buck– I love you. I love you so much, I have for…way longer than I was aware of it, and I just don’t see that going away. And I don’t think it’s fair to us to deny ourselves when I really think we could make each other– so happy. I know I can make you happy, and I want to prove it to you every day of my life, Buck.”

Buck is just staring at him with a dazed expression, his lips slightly parted, and Eddie suddenly can’t stand not kissing him for a second longer.

He slides his hand from Buck’s shoulder to the back of his neck, watches Buck’s eyes flutter shut and feels his fingers tighten on his waist, and then he’s finally, finally closing the distance between them.

Buck makes a soft sound against his mouth, like he’s still somehow surprised this is happening, but he gets on board very quickly, and Eddie stops thinking entirely.

When they pull back breathlessly, Eddie’s hair is a mess – he can feel the loose strands on his forehead – his lips are still tingling, and Buck’s got both arms wrapped around him tightly.

“In case that wasn’t clear,” Buck gasps, and lifts a hand to cup Eddie’s cheek. His thumb brushes over Eddie’s chin and caresses his lower lip, and Eddie presses a kiss to the pad of it. “I love you, too.”

#buddie #911 #buddie fic #911fic #pia writes #ask #leothil #frida tag

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mountttmase · 1 day ago

Text

Change Of Heart

The End - Part Six

Note - wow, I can’t believe we made it to the end 😭 thank you all so much for reading and for your kind words throughout. I really hoped you enjoyed this as much as I have and thank you again to Elisa for being so patient with me. I’d love to know what you all think and enjoyyyyy

Pairing - Mason Mount x Reader

Word count - 10.7k

Warnings - series contains angst & fluff

Day and night you thought about Mason. About what your life would be like if you got the guts to let him in and tell him how you really felt now but everytime you thought about it, you couldn’t bring yourself to do it.

Months passed and all you did was fall deeper and deeper for your best friend. Seeing him more often than ever didn’t exactly help the situation either but the fact the pair of you were so domestic just made it all even harder.

You were in a perfect routine with him. Home games with you both in his shirt when you could and away games if they were close by. Dinner together as a family at least twice a week with Mason picking up Gee from nursery every Wednesday to give you some time to yourself but you knew he liked taking her out for treats as well. So much so you pretend you didn’t see anything when she came back with chocolate ice cream stains down her dress as her happy smile made up for all of it.

You wondered if he’d maybe caught onto the fact your feelings had changed. It felt so obvious to you in the way you acted around him now as he made you so nervous and flustered, but if it was obvious then he didn’t say anything. He was still your typical kind and loving Mason and you were trying so hard to be his best friend.

You didn’t know what was holding you back. You were pretty certain he felt the same but it had been so long since you’d heard him say anything of the sort you’d managed to talk yourself into thinking that his feelings had vanished. What exactly did you have to offer him anyway? You were a single mum who was just about getting by when he could no doubt have any girl he laid his eyes on.

That didn’t make you feel any less for him, if anything as the months went by all you did was fall for him more. He made you feel happy and warm and filled your house with so much laughter and love that when he wasn’t around you felt lost. Even when he was by your side you still found yourself drifting off into your own imagination to think about what life would be like if you were an item and right now was no different.

You knew Mason was talking, but the piece of paper in your pocket was burning a hole through your jeans and it wasn’t long before he noticed you were in your own world and bumped your shoulder gently.

‘Y/n? You listening to me?’ He scolded lightly. Turning to face you and he must have picked up on the moody look on your face as his face dropped as soon as you caught eyes. ‘Y/n? What’s wrong’

‘It’s nothing-‘

‘No don’t do that’ he interrupted, placing his arm around your shoulders for a bit of comfort and you had to refrain from nuzzling yourself into him further. ‘You know you can tell me’

‘It’s Gee’s nursery’ you huffed. Figuring you may as well come clean. ‘They’re putting on a parents day thing for Christmas and… I don’t know, I'm just overthinking it too much. You know what this time of years like, it’s all gonna be about families and there’s gonna be all those kids with both parents there for them and-’

‘Stop it. You give Gee everything. You’re mum and dad rolled into one and Gee loves you, she thinks you’re a superhero’ he reassured you and you didn’t realise how much you needed to hear that from him until he’d said it. Your eyes filling with tears as you hid you face away again to take some breaths but he held you the whole time.

‘Will you come? To parents day?’ You asked. His eyebrows shooting straight up in shock but you just sent him a reassuring smile. ‘I know it’s a bit of a weird ask but she’s actually invited you’ you laughed, looking at his confused face as you pulled the invitation out so he could see his name written on the front under yours in Gee’s best attempt at writing. ‘If you’re busy it’s fine but she’s written your name and everything’

‘Well how can I say no to that huh?’ He laughed and you could tell he was a little emotional about it as his eyes became glossy. ‘I reckon if we asked Woody over we could recreate that picture’ he laughed, trying to mask how emotional he was with a joke. ‘Where is Gee anyway? I’ll go tell her I’m coming’

‘Watching tv, she said she had a long day and needed to unwind’ you told him, rolling your eyes at her sass and he quickly placed a kiss on your head before going to join her.

You joined them too not long after. Laughing as they were both laid on their bellies with their faces in their hands so they could watch tv together and it struck you how alike they were. You always thought Gee could pass as Masons own child but having had him be around consistently for well over a year now they were like little twins.

'Do you wanna stay for dinner?' You asked him, brows raised as you looked over to him but there was an expression on his face you'd never seen before and it made your tummy drop.

'Oh um I can't, I've got plans already' he nodded. Sitting up to face you and scratching the back of his neck as he looked to the floor so you decided to play dumb and see what he said in hopes you could confirm your suspicions.

'Oh, is Woody visiting? You didn't tell me'

'No, it's um… it's no one you know' he shrugged and you knew he was never going to come out with it so you decided to call him out.

‘Wait a minute, are you going on a date?' You asked him and his face told you everything you needed to know. A sinking feeling in your tummy at the realisation but you made sure you kept it together.

'I date, I just don't broadcast it everywhere’ he laughed. Your mind reeling and trying to think back when he may have been out before with someone without you knowing but you shut it off quickly. Not liking how you felt when thinking about him with another girl but thankfully he didn't let you dwell on it as he stood up and gathered his things. 'I better go, I need a shower and everything. Are you alright?'

'Yeah fine, sorry um, have a nice time, yeah? Good luck’ you spluttered, trying to look busy so he couldn't see the heat travelling up your neck but his hand on your wrist made you stop in your tracks.

'Thanks love' he smiled, kissing your forehead quickly just like always but all you felt was sadness.

The rest of the evening went by slowly. You and Gee getting into your pjs after dinner so you could watch some Disney films under a blanket but you couldn’t focus on anything for too long. Thoughts of Mason and who he might be with filled your mind and you’d never felt more miserable.

If he was going out on dates then he’d clearly moved on and left his feelings for you in the past. It's not like you could blame him, you’d never given him a sign that you wanted anything more and he’d waited long enough. He deserved to be happy but it was tearing you apart that it wouldn’t be you that could give him what he needed now.

You were up and out early the next morning as you were meeting Ell for breakfast but you saw the way her face changed with just one look at you. Waiting until Gee and Tommy were in their respective seats before she dived in.

‘What’s wrong?’ she asked carefully but you didn’t know what to say. She’d guessed a few months back that your feelings had changed for him a little bit but knew you weren’t ready to do anything about it and never pushed you. Right now you wished she’d had though and as you were still feeling just as miserable.

‘Mason, he’s um… he went in a date yesterday’

‘Okay?’ She breathed. Looking at you questioningly as if she couldn’t understand what the big deal was and you knew you’d have to explain further.

‘I don’t know, I just feel weird about it. He’s never told me before but I bet he’s been on loads. I mean look at him of course he has’ you sighed and you felt your eyes sting the more you thought about him with someone else.

‘Oh babe’ she pouted. Reaching over and taking you hand and as much as you didn’t want Gee seeing you upset you couldn’t seem to hold it together.

‘I’ve missed my chance haven’t I?’ You croaked. Using you other hand to quickly wipe your cheeks so your tears went as quickly as they came.

‘Not necessarily. You said he was just on a date right? That could be anything, it’s probably just a first date’ she tried to reassure you but your mind was already reeling.

‘Yeah but it could also be a third or a fifth or maybe he’s actually got a girlfriend and they’re in bed right now and she gets to kiss him and do all the things I should be doing’ you spiralled and before you knew it you were snatching your hand away from hers and grabbing your phone out of your bag. ‘That's it, I’m calling him’

‘Y/n, no! You can’t’ Ell cried out. Reaching for you phone and somehow snatching it from your hand before you’d even realised.

‘Why not?’

‘Whatever he’s doing he’s allowed to do! He’s single okay, don’t ruin it for him’ she told you and it’s like her words were a slap to the face.

She was right. He wasn’t yours anywhere else but in your own head so if he was in bed with someone else right now then it didn’t matter how much it was tearing you apart. He was well within his rights to see whoever he wanted and it made you feel like crap to think about. This was your own doing though and when you looked up to Ell she was looking at you sympathetically.

‘Look, i think you need to tell him how you feel’

‘I can’t’ you croaked, your emotions attempting to get the better of you but you swallowed them down as best you could.

‘You can, okay? This has gotten way out of hand like you can’t be trying to jeopardise his dates and keep tabs on him if you’re not going to tell him what’s going on in your head. So you either tell him how you’re feeling and move forward or you keep quiet and leave him be’ she told. ‘I’m sorry for the tough love babe, but I just want you to be happy and I know that Mason would give you the world if you just asked’

‘I don’t know, I’ll think about it’

‘Well I’m keeping hold of your phone until we’re done’ she winked and even though you knew she was being serious you knew she was trying to make you laugh.

You didn’t hear much from Mason over the next few days. You knew he was busy in recovery whilst also trying to get a few personal projects off the ground but you also didn’t feel like you could message him. Pulling yourself back from him a little bit as you were feeling awkward and sad about the whole situation but you knew deep down you were just incredibly jealous.

It got to the point where you weren’t sure if he was even coming to Gee’s performance anymore but as soon as you’d got in from work you felt your phone buzz and Masons name pop up on your screen.

The thought of seeing him the next day filled you with mixed emotions and you couldn’t tell if you were excited or completely terrified. One the one hand you knew you’d have to hear all about his date and how well it went but you but on the other hand you had missed him to the point you didn’t care and just wanted to be around him.

You dropped Gee off early so they could get her into her costume and asked Ell to save you two seats whilst you waited outside for Mason. He was taking a while though and you thought you might have to abandon him soon so you didn’t miss anything but as soon as you turned back to the door his voice rung through the car park.

‘Hey sugar’ you suddenly heard from behind you and when you turned to face him, he pulled you straight into a hug before you could even look at him.

‘Sugar?’ You laughed but he didn’t explain himself. Just held you tighter and buried himself into your neck. ‘I was beginning to think you’d be late’ you told him, pulling back and budging his shoulder but the ever persistent cheeky smile he gave you made you smile back just as wide.

‘Couldn’t find anywhere to park, I've been walking for about ten years’ he joked. Slinging his arm around your shoulder and kissing your forehead before his eye landed on the two huge Christmas trees dangling from your ears. ‘Nice earrings’

‘I’m just trying to get into the spirit of things’

‘Well you look great. Makes me look under dressed but I thought it was best I keep things on the down low’ he winked before his face turned a little more serious. ‘I’m sorry if I’ve seemed a bit off, I really wanted to be completely free today for Gee so I had to move some things around but you’ve got me uninterrupted for the rest of the day’

‘That’s okay, you don’t need to explain’ you told him but he just shrugged as he let you go so you could walk into the main reception.

‘I know, but I’ve missed you. I haven’t even had a second to think about anything else but work but it’s like now I’m back with my favourite people’

‘I’ve missed you, too’ you whispered. It hitting you then that you really had and now you knew he had the rest of the day free you thought you’d make sure you could spend as much time as you could with him. ‘Maybe after all this is over you can come back and we can catch up a bit more?’

‘Did you even need to ask’ he laughed.

Mason helped himself to the complimentary mince pies on the way into the hall before sending you a wink. Letting you lead him over to the two seats so he could say hello to Ell and Noah before you got settled for the show to begin.

‘So how was your little date the other night?’ You asked before you even realised what you’d said and you wished you could take it back. You didn’t want to know about him and any other woman but you couldn’t turn back time now. Not even having the courage to look at him as he answered but you knew he wasn’t looking your way either.

‘It was fine’ he shrugged.

‘Just fine?’

‘Yeah’

‘Wow Mase, say how you really feel’ you laughed sarcastically, your eyes flickering over to him for a second and you could see his cheeks were bright red and he was biting back a smile.

‘Fine, you wanna know how it really went?’ He asked, turning towards you in his seat as he wrapped his arms around the back of your chair and as much as you wanted to say no you didn’t.

‘Yes’ you whispered.

‘She didn’t stop talking, like non stop to the point she was talking whilst she ate and she accidentally spat pasta into my eye’

‘Oh Mase’ you giggled. Finally turning to look at him as you covered your mouth with your hand but he just rolled his eyes as he squeezed your shoulder.

Has he always been this gorgeous? you thought. His bright brown eyes full of warmth as he looked down at you and you could feel yourself blushing under his stare.

‘So yeah, that’s how it went’

‘Safe to say you won’t be seeing her again?’

‘Safe to say I won’t be seeing anyone again, at least not for a little while anyway. She’s traumatised me. The only other person I’ve seen that Messy with pasta is Gee’ he grumbled. Turning back in his seat as the lights were dimming and the show was almost about to start.

You felt a weight lift from your heart immediately knowing there was no other woman you had to worry about now but the reality finally settled in that you would have to let him know how you felt before another came along. He’d mentioned that he didn’t want to date but you didn’t know if he was being serious or not and figured you better tell him while you had the courage.

You noticed Gee as soon as she stepped out on stage in her Giant Christmas tree costume but you could tell straight away she couldn’t see you. Her eyes frantically searching the crowd as her bottom lip dropped in fear you might not be there but it was Mason who made himself known. Standing up and waving his arms whilst calling her name and she found him within an instant.

You thought Mason had wanted to be inconspicuous today from the way he was dressed and what he’d said earlier but that had clearly gone out the window as he’d just announced himself to the whole room so Gee wouldn’t get upset thinking you weren’t there for her.

It was the most adorable thing you’d ever seen, the look of relief washing over her face which quickly turned to excitement as she waved back at him before blowing multiple kisses to which he returned. A chorus of quiet awwws ringing out through the room as she continued to blow kisses to the whole crowd so after you’d given her a wave to let her know you were here too, you pulled Mason back down to sit next to you and he gave you a shy smile.

‘What happened to being on the down low?’ You laughed but he just pursed his lips with a smile and shrugged his shoulders.

‘Yeah that’s gone out the window a bit hasn’t it. I won’t have my baby girl being upset though, so it was worth it’ he told you but he must have caught onto the shocked expression on your face and knew he needed to explain a bit further. ‘I know she’s not mine, but she sort of is’

‘Sometimes I think she’s like your double’ you smiled at him. Thinking back to them sat watching tv together the other day but you didn’t have a chance to say anything else. The sound of rocking around the Christmas tree blaring through the speakers and suddenly everyone was silent.

You could barely see what Gee was doing through the tears that were welling in your eyes. It was a dance she’s been practising at home with you for weeks but to see her front and centre shaking her stuff as she sung her heart out made you feel like the proudest mum in the world and when Mason slid his hand into yours and squeezed it to offer you some comfort, you held on tightly.

It had been a long road to get here. Long nights of uncertainty of whether you were doing the right thing by becoming a single mum and moving hundreds of miles away from anyone you knew but it was moments like this that made you realise it was all worth it. She was the most important thing in your world, a reason for you to get up in the mornings and carry on and you knew as long as you had her you’d always have everything you’d always dreamed of.

Once all the theatrics were over about an hour later there was time for all the parents to chat but you mostly stuck with Ell as the pair of you didn’t really know any of the other mums, and you let Noah and Mason grab you all some drinks whilst you waited for all the kids to come out.

You knew all eyes were on Mason, and you knew he knew that too. Standing right by your side with his cap on low to hide his face but that was all out the window when Gee came back. Chucking her up in the air until she was giggling like a maniac and it wasn’t long before the first dad came over with their son to ask Mason for a cheeky autograph and a selfie.

‘Are you sure this is a good idea?’ You asked, watching a mini queue form but he just shrugged as he turned to you with a big smile.

‘Probably not, but I hate saying no’ he told you and thankfully it didn’t take too long to get through everyone. The four of you deciding to head out and back yours for some food and you watched with a soft expression as Mason walked the kids back to your car with one on each hand.

As Mason was parked a road or two away he let you know he’d meet you back home and dashed off but as you reached for Gee, Ell stopped you.

‘I’ll take, Gee. You need to talk to him’ she told you firmly and you knew she was right.

‘I will’ you nodded. Quickly putting Gee’s car seat in Ell’s car and telling her you’d come and get her later but she seemed excited about going to Tommy's house for a bit.

You were full of nerves the whole ride back, trying to think about what you wanted to say but the ride was short and sweet and all you felt was an overwhelming sense of nerves by the time you got back.

‘Hey, where’s Gee? And I thought they were all coming back here?’ Mason asked as you got out of the car. He was lent against his own but he followed you up to the front door whilst you frantically thought of an excuse as to why you were on your own.

‘Oh um… Gee was kicking up a fuss about ice cream and wanting to see Ell’s Hamster so she’s taken her for a couple of hours with Tommy. Thought maybe we could finally have a bit more of a catch up like we said?’ You offered and he sent you a nod as his cheeks reddened.

‘Okay, yeah. Let’s do it’ he smiled shyly. Letting you lead him into the house before ushering him into the living room whilst you got him a drink.

You used the time you were in the kitchen to calm yourself down a bit. This was Mason you thought to yourself and when you made it back to the living room he was looking at you with a huge smile as he waved his phone in the air.

‘You fancy a cheeky maccies? I didn’t have lunch I’m bloody starving’

‘Go on then’ you laughed. Taking his phone from him so you could add your order and before long you were chatting away as you shoved nuggets in your mouth. Thankfully the pair of you kept away from the whole dating topic and just spoke about upcoming plans and how he’d been playing recently after another short spell out but thankfully he was in good spirits about it all.

‘I fancy a coffee, you want one?’ You asked him after you finished off your last fry and he was nodding his head as he shoved the last in of his own so you quickly tidied up and made your way to the kitchen to make you both one. It suddenly hitting you that you hadn’t spoken about what you’d meant to as you were so caught up in just being together so you used the few minutes the kettle was boiling to think about how you were going to broach the subject.

‘What you watching?’ You asked as you walked back in with his coffee. Placing it down on the coffee table before taking a seat next to him and when he wrapped his arm around you and pulled you into his body you just went with it. Cuddling up with him on the sofa and he scrubbed the video back to the beginning.

It was a video of Gee from earlier, right at the front singing her song and doing her little dance and you felt your eyes sting again at how proud you were of the tiny human you’d created.

‘She’s so funny, I still can’t believe I cried through the whole thing’

‘That’s why I thought I better record it, thought you wouldn’t be able to see much through all the tears in your eyes’ he laughed but you just patted him on the chest playfully.

You both sat and laughed at how into it she was, cuddling into Mason like you couldn’t get close enough and when you looked up at him as the video finished his lips were merely an inch from yours.

The air shifted within a nanosecond. Time suddenly standing still as he froze in front of you and you did the only thing you wanted to and pushed up slightly. Placing your lips on his in a gentle kiss before pulling back to gage his reaction but he hadn’t moved. He didn't kiss you back but you didn’t exactly give him a chance to and he wasn’t backing off so you leaned in again in hopes this time he’d reciprocate. Thankfully after a beat or two he did and as you both sighed into each other's mouths you deepened the kiss even further.

It was like any sense of anything left your bodies as you kissed each other. Your free hand holding his jaw as he kissed you back softly and you thought you might have died and gone to heaven. Not believing yourself that this was the first kiss the pair of you had ever shared and your tummy was fluttering with how gentle he was being with you. Both lost in each other as you wondered what had taken this long to get here but soon you didn’t have time to think for too much longer. Feeling Mason pulling away and she shook himself out of whatever trance he was in and you felt all the blood in your body rush to your cheeks.

‘Shit, sorry y/n I-‘

‘No don’t be sorry, it wasn’t you. I kissed you first’

‘Yeah but I shouldn’t have kissed you back’

‘Why?’ You breathed, confused as to why he seemed so upset with himself but he was now looking back at you just as confused.

‘Cause you don’t want this’ he told you, speaking to you like he was talking to a crazy person. ‘You’ve told me this isn’t what you want so many times-‘

‘I was wrong, I do want this’ you cut him off, sitting up properly so you could finally speak to him properly about your feelings but this wasn’t how you expected it to be coming out or for him to be looking back at you.

Shocked? Maybe. But horrified? This wasn’t on your list.

‘What? I don’t… what do you mean?’

‘I was just confused, I’ve wanted you and us for the longest time I swear. I heard you talking to Gee when she was a baby and telling her how you still loved me and-‘

‘What? That was years ago’

‘I know, and I’ve been thinking about it for years’

‘You knew and you didn’t say anything? He asked, his voice easing slightly but you knew it was just because he was upset with you.

‘Mase please just listen’ you pleaded. The hurt across his face was unbearable and you wanted to reassure him in some way but you were so flustered you couldn't get anything out properly. ‘You’re my best friend, yeah? Always have been but hearing you still loved me, like after all this time still, it just made me wonder what life would be like if things were different and somewhere along the way I got confused like you’re so good with Gee especially after Jack left you really held us all together and you’re always there for her-‘

‘So because I’m good with Gee you think that’s enough?’

‘No, not at all Mason that’s just an extra-‘

‘So what then? Are you confused?’ He cut you off and you’re starting to get frustrated at how he kept batting you away.

‘No Mase’ you huffed, wishing he would just listen but you understood why he wasn’t.

‘Well what is it?’ He demanded. His voice desperate as he moved himself away from you and you felt your heart plummet as he moved to stand on the other side of the room.

‘Will you let me just talk? You know how much I hate being interrupted’

‘Let me guess, Jack always did the same?’ He scoffed and you were confused as to why he’d bought him up even if he was right.

‘Well yeah he did, and I don’t need you doing the same’

‘Why do you always fucking do that?’ He exploded and you were taken aback by the way he was being. He’d never once spoken to you like this before and whilst you knew you had nothing to be afraid of in anyway it still shocked you.

‘Do what?’

‘Comepare me to him all the fucking time?’

‘I don’t-‘ you defended but it was no use. Mason was furious and ready to give you it with both barrels.

‘You do!’ He insisted even louder. ‘Apart from what we’ve got between our legs I’m nothing like him and you know it’

‘Mase-‘

‘When he left, who picked up the pieces and expected nothing in return, huh? It was me, yeah? It was me and I’ve looked after you and Gee like she was my own ever since just for you to tell me I’m the same as the scumbag that never deserved you? Who left at the first sign of a struggle. It was me that stepped up, me that took care of everything, of you, and you take every chance you get to tear me down’

‘Mase please’ you sobbed. Wanting him to calm down a bit so you could talk rationally but every word that came out of your mouth seemed to just wind him up more.

‘And now you wanna tell me you wanna be with me? You’ve known how I’ve felt about you this whole fucking time and you’d stayed silent. Why now huh? Why have you strung me along for so long? so I can babysit?’

‘That’s not it-‘

‘What is it then? I’m good with Gee and you think that’s all it takes for us to work? You didn’t say one thing about me, it was all about what I can give to you’ he carried on. Getting more wound up with each word that came out of his mouth and you had no idea how to stop him now.

‘Mason please, I got confused’ you whimpered and even though he’d stopped shouting you could see he wasn’t done yet. Expelling all the air from his lungs in a shaky breath before sliding his hands over his face and you wondered what he was about to hit you with next but to your surprise his voice was much quieter yet more emotional.

‘I’ve loved you for as long as I can remember y/n’ he croaked and you felt your heart shatter as his bottom lip wobbled. ‘Everytime i see you I can feel it and it’s torn me apart that you’ve never felt the same’

‘Thats what im trying to tell you though, i have, I do feel the same Mason, I just couldn’t tell you’

‘Why not ?’ He demanded, but you didn’t have an answer for him. Not a reasonable sounding enough one anyway but Mason was coming to his own conclusions as he looked at you. ‘Is this because I went on a date the other night?’

‘No-‘

‘It is, isn't it? You thought you had me wrapped around your finger but now you know i'm not you’re saying you like me so I don’t leave you’

‘Will you just stop-‘

You were cut off by your phone ringing in the side, looking down to see it was Ell and you knew you had to answer so you quickly cleared your throat before picking up in hopes you’d sound as normal as possible.

‘Hey Ell, everything okay?’

‘Yeah fine, I think little miss is getting tired though, I think it’s best you come get her’

‘Of course. I won’t be long, okay?’ You told her but before you’d even hung up Mason was already making his way to the door.

‘I’ll go, I need some air’ he told you, leaving before you could say anything else and once you were finally alone you let yourself fall to the sofa and let your emotions out properly.

Even in your worst case scenario in your head you never envisioned this happening. You figured he’d be somewhat confused and a but unsure at first but the pure rage coming from him was so out of character and you weren’t sure what the future held for the two of you now.

You knew Mason could tell you’d been crying when he got back. Placing Gee on the floor so she could run to you and you scooped her up and held her close whilst Mason shuffled uncomfortably at the door.

‘Listen, I’m gonna head off yeah. Let you put Gee to bed’ he nodded quietly and you felt your heart sink.

‘Oh’ you breathed, wondering why he didn’t want to stay and talk things through, especially after how upset you clearly were but you just nodded and placed Gee back on the floor. ‘Go say goodbye to Uncle Masey and we’ll get ready for a bath, yeah?’

Your heart broke as he placed little kisses all over her face, her giggles filling the hall as he told her he’d see her soon before nudging her back to you.

‘I’ll um, I’ll see you soon then’

‘Okay’ you whispered, unable to look at him so you picked Gee up and made your way up the stairs without another look at him. Your tummy dropping when you heard the door shut a few moments after and you knew he’d gone.

Gee was quiet as you got her bathed and ready for an early night. Not sure if it was because she was tired from the days events or she could tell you were upset but you were thankful that she wanted to go to sleep now even if she was being a little clingy. You stayed with her though until she was fully out but all you were thinking about was Mason and how you’d both move on from here.

That would have to wait for now though. All you could think about was the chocolate cake in your fridge that you’d saved for a moment alone so when you were certain Gee was definitely fast asleep, you gently kissed her head and made your way down the stairs and into the kitchen.

‘Fuck!’ You squealed. Hands clutching at your chest as your heart threatened to burst free. The sight in the corner of your eye making you do a double take before you were jumping out of your skin. ‘What the fuck, Mason’

‘Sorry’ he whispered. Standing by the fridge with his arms crossed over his body and you noticed he hadn’t looked directly at you once.

‘How did you get back in? I never heard you’ you asked, gulping to try and readjust your breathing as inconspicuously as you could but it didn’t really matter as his eyes were still trained on the floor.

‘I never left in the first place’ he told you and you realised that when you heard the door shut earlier he never actually left but had simply shut the door and waited downstairs for you.

He’d stayed for a reason, but you weren't quite sure if he knew what that was. Clearly he wanted to talk but right now he had his arms still crossed over his body and his head down as he looked at his shoes but you could tell he was chewing on his bottom lip which meant he was trying to keep his emotions in.

All you wanted to do was comfort him. Not sure if he wanted you close to him but you pushed that to the side and slowly made your way over to stand right in front of him.

He didn’t move a muscle, just kept his eyes down as you waited for him to look at you, but you knew he wouldn’t without a little encouragement so in the end you held him at his jaw and tilted his head up so he’d finally look at you. The tears welling in his eyes made your heart ache and all you wanted was to reassure him and let him know you were serious.

‘I’m so sorry, Mase’ you whispered, your tummy dropping as he shut his eyes and his tears spilled over. Wiping them away as quickly as you could before uncrossing his arms and placing them around your waist in hopes he’d hug you and once your arms were around his neck he pulled you in as close as he could.

‘I’m sorry for shouting at you’ he whispered. His voice full of tears as he spoke into your neck, but you just shook your head to let him know it was okay.

‘It’s okay, i probably deserved it’

‘No you didn’t, I just… I’m so confused’ he told you, peeling himself away so he could look at you properly and you hated the way he looked so vulnerable.

‘Shall we talk then? Talk properly and figure it all out?’

‘Okay’ he nodded and you took his hand to lead him back into the living room so you could talk. The smell of your untouched coffees from earlier still hanging thick in the air as you tried to clear your mind of all the angry words he’d thrown your way not too long ago but you could tell he was in a completely different mind set now. The anger subsided and vulnerability in its place and you just prayed you could finally get your thoughts together and tell him how you felt properly.

‘I’m a bit nervous’ he chuckled. Making sure you were comfy on the sofa as he tucked you into his side and you smiled up at him as you were feeling the exact same.

‘Me too. I don’t really know where to start’ you laughed and even though he’d clearly calmed down and wanted to talk you still didn’t want to set him off again.

‘You said you heard me talking to Gee once? What did you hear?’ He asked quietly but he could see you were nervous to talk so he took your hand and squeezed it gently. ‘It’s okay, you can tell me. I’m not gonna have a strop again I promise’ he chuckled and you felt your shoulder relax.

‘It was when she called you dada for the first time and you told her you weren’t but you wished you were’ you whispered, watching him recall that moment in his head but thankfully he was still smiling softly. ‘That you loved us and that it hurt knowing I was your person but I didn’t see it’

‘I see’

‘That’s not when I realised my feelings had changed though’ you confirmed and you noticed his brows furrow in confusion.

‘When was it?’

‘When you stayed with us that week before you moved into your house and you told me I had to share you with Gee‘ you laughed. ‘It just slapped me in the face that I don’t want to share you with anyone. And then her second birthday party you were just perfect and it made me feel all this new things for you that I never had’

‘That was over a year ago, love. Why the change of heart? Why tell me now?’ He asked quietly and you could tell he was in a completely different headspace to earlier.

‘Cause you were right’ you wept, using your free hand to dry your eyes so you could carry on talking sensibly but you were finding it hard to hold it together. ‘I didn’t like the thought of you going on a date the other night and I almost called you the morning after thinking you were still with her in hopes I could ruin it but Ell stopped me. I know how it sounds, I know. But it’s not me messing you around or keeping you wrapped around my finger. I’ve just had enough of keeping things to myself when I know we could be happy together’

‘I just don’t get why you haven’t said something before. I thought we told each other everything’ he told you sadly and you knew you had to just be open with him.

‘I was scared’

‘Of what, love?’

‘That you’d react like you did’ you laughed and even though he was smiling back you could tell he was still feeling guilty about it all. ‘Plus when you were talking to Gee that one time you told her you’d try to move on and I didn’t want to make an idiot out of myself just in case you had’

‘All you had to do was tell me and I would have been yours from that very second’ he told you matter of factly but you didn’t like the way he was using the past tense.

‘Does that mean you won’t be now?’ You pouted. Eyes full of tears that you’d waited so long to come clean but he just smiled at you softly and pushed the hair out of your eyes so he could see you better.

‘Why do you think I'm here, love?’ He asked quietly but you just shrugged as you looked down to your lap. Tears spilling down your cheeks but he was quick to hook his finger under your chin and make you look at him again. ‘I think about you, and what we could have, every fucking day’ he whispered. ‘I’ve loved you since we were kids, that’s not something I can just throw away and move on from’

‘I know it’s taken me a while to realise it but I love you too, Mase. I really do’ You gulped. ‘I’ve never felt like this about anyone before and I’ve never felt how you make me feel before’

‘What do you mean?’ He asked. Trying to contain his smile at the fact you’d just told him you loved him but he needed more from you clearly.

‘When Jack left me… well I’d never felt so ugly in my whole life. I hated everything about myself you know, like no matter what I did I was never enough’ you told him. ‘But you’ve always made me feel beautiful’

‘That’s cause you were. You are beautiful, y/n. So so fucking beautiful’ he whispered as he pulled you further into his lap and you were so close now your noses were touching as you spoke.

‘I think there’s this part of me that’s felt like I’ve never deserved you. You’re you, you know? And I’m a mess. A single mum who’s just about getting by like what do I have to offer you?’

‘Don’t ever say that again’ he whispered. Cutting you off as he cupped your jaw and stroked your cheeky softly. ‘You deserve whoever you want and whoever makes you happy. And I know I will do everything I can every single day to make you happy’

‘I know you will, you already do. This last year has driven me insane’ you laughed. ‘I don’t know how you’ve done it for so many years’

‘Well they say If you love someone you set them free. And if it’s meant to be you’ll find your way back to each other. We always find our way back no matter what happens right? That's got to count for something’ he told you and before you knew it the ghost of your favourite cheeky smile was adorning his lips. ‘You try and put 240 miles between us and i will hunt you down’

‘Well when you say that…’ you laughed, trying to pull away from him as a joke but he was having none of it. Pulling you in even closer so he could kiss your cheek and the feel of his lips on your hot skin made you shiver.

‘I really am sorry for earlier, I didn’t mean to go off like I did. I think I was just in panic mode and it’s been hard on me too. Like coming here and getting to play house with you sometimes but knowing I’d never get that happy ending was a lot but I still did it cause I’d take what I can get with you’ he confessed quietly. ‘That still doesn’t make it right though’

‘It’s okay, a lot of what you said earlier made sense but I need you to know I didn’t fall for you just because you’re good with Gee I promise’ you told him. ‘Even though you’ve stepped up and basically been her father figure without me asking you too. You know I’ll always be thankful for that’

‘Well I love the pair of you more than anything. And I get why me having a good relationship with Gee is so important to you’

‘It’s hard, being a mum and wanting to do right by your kids whilst also trying to have a bit of happiness for yourself’ you sniffed, not having spoken to him about this topic before but since you both seemed to be getting stuff off your chests you figured you’d go for it. Letting him wrap you up close to his chest so you could take in a breath of his relaxing scent before you continued. ‘Gee’s always been a big factor as to why I’ve held back with relationships cause as much as I want someone for myself, she’s my whole life, you know? She’s part of me and I’d never forgive myself for bringing someone into our bubble that could hurt us. So yeah, your relationship with Gee is huge for me cause I don't have to worry about that. You said it yourself earlier she’s basically yours and I don’t think I’ll every trust another man with her like I trust you with her’

‘And I promise you, you’ll never have to even think about trusting someone else okay? You guys are my family. Always have been always will be’ he told you softly and you had to pull back again to look at him as you missed his face already.

‘I’m sorry too though, for keeping it from you, and for comparing you to Jack a lot. I didn’t realise I was even doing it but now I do and I need you to know you’re nothing like him’ you told him tearily and you could see it all over his face how much that meant to him.

‘Thank you’ he whispered, tears still flowing down your cheeks that he gently wiped away and you could see from the frown on his face he didn’t like that you were so upset still. ‘Hey come on, please stop crying baby’ he whispered, the pet name making you smile wider than you had all evening as your tummy swarmed with butterflies. ‘I can’t kiss you again if you keep crying, and I really wanna kiss you right now’

‘You can still kiss me’ you chuckled. Letting him help wipe your cheeks so you didn’t look so upset and when he cupped your jaw you felt your heart flutter at what was about to happen.

If he was as nervous as you then he didn’t show it too much as he tipped your face up towards his. A small smile on his lips as his eyes flashed downward but you could see his pupils had dilated whilst his breathing had deepened but you couldn’t look for too much longer. Shutting your eyes just before his lips touched yours and you felt every nerve ending in your body sing. Your mind foggy as he carefully brushed his lips against yours but you felt whole for the first time in a long time.

‘I’ve waited ten years for that kiss’ he whispered. Lips ghosting yours as he peppered kisses to the corner of your mouth and back and you couldn’t stop giggling before he captured your lips once more.

‘Sorry it took so long’

‘Don’t be. I’d wait another ten, you know that right?’

‘I can’t believe I’ve been so blind this whole time’ you sniffed. Resting your hands on his chest as another wave of guilt hit you. ‘I’ve been so in my head about Jack and then trying to look after Gee and then the move. It’s like all I’ve been doing is trying to keep my head above the water but now I feel like I can take a breath and my visions cleared and you’ve been standing right under my nose this whole time’ you breathed, feeling him pull you closer into his body. ‘I’ve never told you enough how much I love you, like even just as friends. I know I was never great to you over the years and I’m just so sorry for how I’ve acted and how I’ve made you feel all this time. Kinda makes me wonder why you even still like me’ you giggled but just smiled as he rubbed his nose against yours.

‘Cause I don’t just like you, I’m in love with you. Good days, bad days and everything in between. Yes it’s been rough but even if I knew it would hurt as much as it has sometimes I would have still loved you like I do now’ he whispered. Tears springing to your eyes again but you were determined to keep them inside. ‘But I understand, my minds kinda blown and I don’t really get any of this either like when I woke up this morning this wasn’t on my bingo card’

‘Well I’ve been thinking about you for a while and Ell told me I had to be honest with you’

‘Yeah? What have you been thinking?’ He asked, clearly wanting to tease you even more and the prospect of saying divulging even more made you blush furiously as you tried to stutter out a response but he was quick to kiss your cheek and squeeze your sides. ‘You can just say you fancy me, it’s okay’

‘You’re unbelievable’ you laughed. Not being sure if you wanted to pull away or nuzzle in closer but you went for the latter in the end. Wrapping your arms around his neck to you could hold each other and you could feel yourself melting in his arms.

‘And you’re tired’ he whispered into your neck, making you laugh at the way he could read you so well. This whole evening had been exhausting but there was still so much you wanted to ask him. ‘Do you wanna head to bed?’

‘Only if you’re coming with me’

‘Of course’ he whispered, squeezing you tightly for a moment before pulling away and helping you to stand. ‘We can talk some more up there I just wanna be comfy’

You both got ready for bed fairly quickly and Mason was under the covers before you meaning he could warm it all up just as you liked. You’d shared a bed with Mason a few times over the years but this felt different, every other time he’d been basically fully clothed but this time he was just in his boxers and your mouth was watering at the view of his chest. He could tell you were a little bit nervous so he pulled the covers back and tucked you into his side just like normal. Your cheeks flaming as he held your jaw and kissed you again gently but your mind was still reeling with questions.

‘Can I ask you something, cause I feel like you never told me’ you asked as you pulled away from each other.

‘Yeah? Course you can’ he laughed tickling your side gently as you got settled on his chest, his skin warm against your own and after you’d nuzzled yourself into him a bit you were looking up at him with a smile.

‘Why did you pick United?’ You asked and you saw his cheeks redden a touch like he knew why you were asking.

‘Why wouldn’t I?’

‘I’m just curious. There’s so many other clubs that were in for you’ you shrugged before settling your head back down but you noticed his heart rate had picked up slightly.

‘Why do you think I chose here?’

‘I don’t know’ you shrugged. Hoping if you played dumb and not accuse him he’d come out and tell you.

‘I mean I picked here cause I thought it would be the best fit for me but I can’t lie and say the thought of being closer to you wasn’t at the forefront of my mind’ he confessed quietly. Confirming what you sort of had always suspected and rather than scare him off you kept your head down and traced patterns on his chest gently to see if he’d elaborate.

‘Yeah?’

‘When you first told me you were moving, I was so crushed. I thought that was it, you know? Any shot of us ever being more than friends was gone but not even just that. You were so far away it’s like I wouldn’t know if you’re safe or not and it tore me apart that I couldn't protect you anymore. Especially you being up here when Gee was so little. So yeah, you being here made have made it on the list of pros for signing here’

‘It’s your life, mase. I would have never expected to be on your list for something that big’

‘You forget, you are my life. You and pickle are everything to me like even after you told me you didn’t want this I’ve still never been able to let you go. And maybe that sounds a bit pathetic but I just always knew deep down we’d get there one day’

‘Well here we are’ you laughed.

‘Here we are’ he smiled. Kissing your forehead gently before looking down at you with a coy smile. ‘Anything else I need to confess to? Come on, out with it’ he laughed, knowing you and more to say and you figured since he was on a roll you may as well ask no matter how insane you seemed.

‘When you said you date… like how often are we talking?’ You laughed. ‘Cause I had no idea no idea, you’ve never mentioned anything before so it was a bit of a shock’

‘I mean it wasn’t often, every now and then. I’m not all that good at dating I’d don’t think, seemed to just compare everyone to you’ he laughed, rolling his eyes a little bit. ‘But after you moved up here I was with someone for a few months’ he confessed and even thought it was over quite clearly you still felt a weird sinking feeling in your tummy.

‘Oh? Was it serious?’ You asked carefully but he just shrugged.

‘Could have been. But then I had to move and she wasn’t up for long distance so we decided to leave it. I think she kinda knew my feelings towards you too so that probably didn’t help but since moving up I’ve only been on like two dates including last weeks’

‘Does that make me your third time lucky’ you smiled. Your fingers gently tracing his ribs as he smiled back down at you and you couldn’t help but reach up to peck his lips gently.

‘No way, you’ve always been my number one’

‘Is that why you didn’t tell me?’

‘Sort of, I guess I was just holding out hope that you’d come round one day and I didn’t want you thinking I’d moved on from you even if you didn’t care that I had at the time. I didn’t even really want to tell you about last weeks but you’d figured it out and I couldn’t lie. I hope that doesn’t make you feel any differently about me’

‘Not at all. You’re a human Mase, and I wouldn’t expect you to wait for me if I was giving you nothing back. You don’t have to worry about that anymore though cause I wanna give you everything’

‘Oh yeah’ he grinned. His eyebrows wiggling suggestively but you just rolled your eyes as you tapped his chest.

‘Yeah. Like I fell for you because of how I feel when I’m with you and I wanna reciprocate that, you know? I want you to feel all the love you make me feel every single day’

‘I feel it, always have done’ he whispered but all you knew was that you wanted to give home more.

‘Well then buckle up cause you’re about to be overwhelmed’ you laughed. Cupping his jaw and kissing him again but this time he didn’t let you go. Chasing your lips when you went to pull away but it was his hand that was on your lower back that was begging to explore your skin that made your heart race even faster. Gasping into his mouth as he gave your bum a cheeky squeeze and you both pulled away breathless before anyone took things any further.

‘I can’t believe I get to kiss you now. 15 year old me is losing his mind’ he chuckled, pecking your cheek as you both got your breath back. ‘If you wanna be my third time lucky you’re gonna have to let me take you out on a date then’

‘Really?’

‘Yeah, of course. How about this, Lew is coming up next week so he can make a start on some Christmas stuff, why don’t I ask if he can have Gee for an evening and I’ll take you out. I’ve been planing this in my head for years so all you need to do is turn up’

‘Yeah?’ You laughed, loving the excited expression on his face but you were just as excited to get to experience whatever he was dreaming up for the pair of you.

‘As long as you don’t spit pasta in my eye’ he winked and you knew that was a promise you could most definitely keep.

🤍Four Years Later🤍

‘Gee! You ready to go baby?’ You called, standing by the door with her bag and everyone else’s belongings.

‘Coming!’ She shouted. Her footsteps bounding down the stairs suddenly and as you looked to your left, she was running up besides you with a big smile on her face.

‘I’m gonna put all your stuff in the car, okay pickle?.’

‘Where’s daddy?’ She questioned, not wanting to leave without him clearly but you just smiled and stroked the top of her head.

‘He’s coming baby, don’t worry’ you reassured her and she gave you a quick nod to let you know she understood.

‘Right that’s all locked up out back, just need to do the front. We ready?’ Mason smiled, rounding the corner from the kitchen before his eyes were on you. A cheeky and excited look on his face as he wrapped his arms around your waist and even though you two were excited, you were full of nerves at what you were about to do. ‘You okay love?’

‘I’m nervous’ you giggled. ‘I can’t believe we’re finally going’

‘I always promised we would, didn’t I?’

‘You did’ you whispered smiling up at him before he dropped a soft kiss to your lips.

‘Which one are you taking?’ Mason asked. Looking over to Gee who had a protective hand on the handle of the car seat which made your heart thump in your chest.

‘You take Gee and lock up, I’ll get Leo in the car’ you smiled and with another quick kiss to your lips Mason had picked gee up and was stuffing her into a hoodie so she wasn’t cold.

‘Come on little man, let’s get you all strapped in, yeah?’ You cooed. Watching Leo giggle as you tickled his tummy.

Leo was around 10 months old now and he was the apple of Masons eye. You still remember the look on Masons face when you told him you were expecting and even though it was a bit of a shock, it was something the pair of you had spoken about often and you knew he was waiting to hopefully give Gee a sibling.

When you’d first booked this trip, the pair of you had no idea about Leo even existing. His arrival making you question if you should postpone the trip you’d always dreamed of but Gee was already excited and with Leo being such a calm little guy you figured you should just go for it and finally live your dream.

‘Hey mate, you all ready to go?’ Mason asked him sweetly. Coming up behind you as you’d finally got him sat in the car all strapped in and that was all it took for Leo to send him a bright gummy smile. He was such a happy baby but he always reserved his biggest smiles for his daddy.

‘Daddy! Come on!’ Gee suddenly called from the seat in the back next to Leo. Clearly getting frustrated you hadn’t left yet but Mason just playfully rolled his eyes as he smiled down at you.

‘She gets that from you, you know’ he winked. Dropping a heavy kiss on your lips before bending down to talk to Gee. ‘Oi you, I’ll throw you with the lions when we get there if you’re not careful’ he teased but Gee was giggling soon after as he began to hype her up about the trip and get her excited, behaving like he was your third child.

‘Come on, we best head off’ you laughed. Pulling his arm so he’d look at you and the smile on his face made your heart flutter. ‘You sure you got everything?’

‘Got all my people, that’s all I need’ he beamed. Cupping your jaw and kissing you deeply to the point you knees went weak.

‘I can’t believe we're actually doing this, it’s like my biggest dreams coming true. I know I’ve said it a million times but thank you. I love you so much, dimples’ you smiled and it was worth it to watch the blush creep over his cheeks like always when you called him that.

‘I love you, too’ he whispered. Squeezing your sides softly as he kissed you again. ‘But what have I told you about calling me dimples?’

‘Doesn’t matter what you say, your face says it all’ you whispered. Knowing how much he complained about the nickname you’d given him shortly after you’d finally gotten together, but you just didn’t believe him. Watching the way he’d turn into a blushy mess each time told you he secretly loved it and you loved making Mason feel good. ‘Come on then, before Gee loses the plot’

‘Your chariot awaits Mrs Mount’

‘Easy, I’m not Mrs Mount yet’ you laughed, tapping his chest and even though it was something you’d spoken about, Mason was yet to pop the question.

‘It’s only a matter of time’ he whispered. Kissing your head before he let you go and get in the car but it was only when you were out of sight that he checked his pocket for a very important piece of cargo. The small black box felt huge between his fingers but he couldn’t think of a more perfect time for him to ask the girl of his dreams to be his wife than on the trip of her dreams with their two babies in tow. Finally getting to be the family the both of you had always dreamed of.

y/n

liked by masonmount, ell_197, lukeshaw23 and others

y/n wild and free… but not for long 😌 it’s always been a dream of mine to come here but i never imagined just how special it could be. The easiest yes I’ve ever had to say 🤍

masonmount the easiest question I’ve ever had to ask 😏 I love our little family so much ❤️

y/n I love you more, dimples 🥰

masonmount 🙄

ell_197 it’s about damn time guys!!! So so excited for you, congratulations 🥳 🩷 I knew this trip would be special for you girly but who knew just how much 🥺

masonmount yeah I’ve left it a little late huh 😂

y/n he’s lucky he’s cute 🤭 can’t wait to start planning with you Ell! 🩷

lukeshaw23 he finally did it huh 😂 he’s been talking to me about it for months. Thank you for saying yes so he doesn’t have to come and live with me!

y/n why do I feel like you’re saying this because you actually want thank you happen 😂

Mummy_y/n oh I’m over the moon. I remember watching you two growing up and knowing you’d be in each other lives for a very long time. So glad you’ve found your soulmate baby girl 🩷

y/n Mumma 🥺 he’s been here this whole time I’m just glad I finally saw 😭

Tag list - @saltyheartnightmare @harvestmount @prideofpd @sid-vii @carlottawllms @footiehoemcfc @katharinanadiaa @whenelifallsinlove @neverinadream @cityzenchick @msnmnt @stikkibun @masonmtxo @chillymountsjess @yoursselo @maseymm @feelinglikeineedlotsofnaps @leclerc13

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thatfrailsoul · 1 day ago

Text

– If you love me, then love me from the heart

tarot pick a pile reading ( → 1, 2, 3 )

pictures from pinterest → one, two, three

Slow down for a moment. Give your conscious mind a moment of rest, allow it to step back. Instead, listen to your subconscious mind, to that inner voice, to the intuition that is guiding you to the pile in which your message hides. A message about the love that your heart is longing for. The one that you are hoping to find…

This is our third reading from our divination jukebox, inspired by possibly one of the most beautiful songs that I've ever heard - "Yağmur Yağar Taş Üstüne" by Mustafa Güzel and Batuhan Fırat (feat. Belkıs Güzel). I'm so deeply grateful for the person that suggested this song and gave us the possibility not only to discover it, but also to have such a deep and tender message through this reading. It is difficult to find the correct translation for this song, but I strongly encourage you to listen and read it, as it is simply magical in the softest way. I will leave you the links that were recommended to me here, in case you would like to listen to it. And if you would like to see a pick a pile reading inspired by your favourite song, you can discover more about how to participate here↓♡!

♪♡♪ Divination Jukebox ♪♡♪

P.s. This is my first attempt at a longer reading, so if you feel comfortable please let me know in the comments what you think of it! If you prefer the shorter ones, if there is any aspect of the reading that makes it difficult for you to read it, or in case you will take a look at the extended version of this reading, if you would prefer to have something more specific in the additional messages of our readings - I will cherish your opinion and use it to get better with each post!♡

– Pile One,

{ The love that you are longing for }

the magician, the seven of swords, the page of coins

Love… you so often consider it just a feeling. A feeling that after all these years alive you still can really connect only to your own self. To you who seems to be the only one to feel it. To give it. While all that others do is receive it from you. Giving you back some gratitude perhaps, but never something that feels like what you gave them. Nothing that really fills in that part of you that was emptied for them… Making you really wonder if perhaps you got it wrong for all this time, if what you considered love never was it. If you imagined and expected it to be more, made it be more. Giving others much more than any person could ever give you in return, more than you ever should've done…

All that attention, that care, that genuine dedication that you put in, time after time, for every soul that was close, going out of your way to be there, right by their side for whatever might come… But still standing alone when facing your hardships, your difficult moments. Only you on the first line, out there in the cold, just you against this world… You genuinely never thought that this is what love would be. You expected something different from what you always received from others before. A complete opposite of having to do everything on your own, of that fear of what will happen to you if one day things in your life won't work anymore. You thought that it should be different from that because you know for sure that all those years of struggle alone never had even a bit of love in them, not from the people that were all that time around and close to you, but never did anything to help you, apart from telling you that this is how it works and that you should grow and take care of yourself on your own.

You alway imagined it, in those dark and painful nights, a hug, a caressing hand, a soft voice that assures you that everything will be okay, that it won't be forever this way, that you are not alone but you will always have them… So you did your best to be deserving, manifesting those tender and loving ways through your own self. Through the way you looked after others, the way you cared for them. Not only knowing that this is the right way to treat others, the way you genuinely want to be, but that it will be also worth it, that you will one day feel the love you gave, through others that will do the same… But it never came. You never saw your reflection in them, you never saw that part of your heart that you gave away being nourished and taken care of… it was always mostly just appreciated in the moment. And forgotten. Or worst, taken advantage of by expecting or asking more. So after all these tears, all the days dedicated to others instead of yourself, all your prayers for help and support, just a little comfort, that you never received because they are too busy to take a moment to give you back that love that you never declined them…. You started to think that you are in the wrong. That the love you always waited for is just a dream that the real concept of love can’t live up to. No matter how much you can look for it or want it. It is simply not something possible. And you are asking for too much.

{ What this is all for }

the judgement, the ace of swords, the lovers

This world, this life in general… has a really unique way of helping us to learn, of guiding us in or through the right direction and path, of letting us know that everything will be alright… Their language is so different from ours that we really struggle to understand it, those words that come in the form of pure feelings directly from within us. The ones that we should trust the most but never do so. Especially when it comes to love, something that we so much idealise, something that we have so much desire for.

Your heart is so sincerely tired, it went through so many betrayals and wounds inflicted by those that you tried to love. To the point that it simply feels that heaviness, that weight of this experience that you never really wanted to begin with. So you feel like you are ready for something else, for that love that you did all of this for, if it even exists at all. But are you really sure of it..? Of knowing so well the person that you would like to have by your side each day, their character, their behaviour, their values? Are you sure that you really did look for them and not just anyone who seemed to be able to love? Are you sure that you really know your worth and the one of your love, how one must love you in order to really give you all that your heart needs and wants? Or did you think that you knew it before, and now you are settling for much less than you are deserving of, because of the overwhelming loneliness and fear that it will be this way for the rest of your days unless you accept whatever one gives you in return? Are you sure that you are remaining loyal to your own self and your soul, instead of trying to “sell” it to whoever is close and good enough?

Because, even though perhaps you are not doing it consciously, but you are changing. Little by little. Not in terms of who you are, but in the ones of who you allow others to consider you. Leaving it up to them to decide how much you deserve, what is the worth of your love and care that you give them after letting them in, where only the most sincere, genuine and trustworthy should belong. You just give them your all. Every single time. Without any limit or hesitation. Not even when all that you receive is another rude phrase, some judgement, coldness and distance once they got up and healed thanks to your love. You just do it. For everyone. Not choosing carefully, but treating every soul as the right one. And not in a good sense. Instead, you are not listening anymore to your own intuition or feelings, not trusting your own mind that recognises the things that are too off. You are just rushing in this hunt for “the one” as the time passes and you feel more and more scared and alone. You are throwing yourself at every possible connection, all in, wandering each time that it goes wrong what you did too little or too much of. And not realising anymore that it is not about how you love, if it is in the right way or the wrong one… But rather who you choose, even force yourself, to love. And how they are simply not the right one, no matter how much you sacrifice of your own values and preferences, just to make them fit in the place that it is not theirs to hold.

All these bad endings, failures, mistakes that you consider yours to be responsible for… Are just a natural consequence of you settling for less than you really desire and need in order to feel loved. All that sadness, that loneliness… are only your subconscious, your own heart that you willingly ignored at first, but that after some time managed to be heard by you, letting you know that the way you are treated, the crumbs that you accept, will never truly be enough.

Those endings, those coincidences that are never in your favour, those interferences in your connections from the outside world… are just its efforts to protect you and communicate with you, trying to show you that refusing your own standards is not what can help you find them, that right person that you can truly feel safe and understood with… Adapting to another person and changing, it is not what will make them love you like you want. It will only keep you stuck in a play pretend. Put you in situations and relationships that you won’t feel appreciated and cherished in. It will consume you from inside out, slowly but surely, just because that one time you believed more others, than your own self that always knew what was best and right for you, what you really wanted to feel and who you wanted to have with you…

The time already passed, you already got through so much. You can’t do anything about it, and it is alright. But you can do yourself a favour and listen again to your own heart, before following that overwhelming fear and anxiety of being left alone in the cold and the dark. Your heart, your love, they are unique. But not at all the only ones. There is a soul, out there, that is your perfect reflection, someone who resonates so much with your ways of feeling love. And you can and will find them. The moment you stop seeing all that happened and you went through as the mistakes you made, ways that you can be better by being more or less… And start to see them as simply were and when the things didn't feel right for your heart, for who you are. Because those things that you felt the lack of, or perhaps as though it is just too much, are the ones that you need to hold onto, to look for in others. Instead of ignoring them, just so you can fit in the perfect version of love of someone and they can accept you, even though you are not theirs to love…

Although it seems so easy to do through words… We know too well that sometimes it is not enough to just choose to listen to our heart more. It is not always enough when we, in a certain way, forget its language, when we are not able anymore to comprehend it and separate it from the voice of our mind that we learned to follow… For this reason, there is an additional message for you, if you want to, in our extended version of this reading. What you need to know and remember as you continue on this journey, in this search of the right person for you, but also of the confidence and trust in your own heart, that will be the things that will change everything about the situation in which you are now.♡↓

{ a little message for you }

—

– Pile Two,

{ The love that you are longing for }

the wheel of fortune, the sun, the devil

It happened so many times… So often you felt overwhelmed, completely overtaken, by the life of someone you loved… Their problems, their difficulties, their fears that became yours. Yours to resolve, yours to take care of, yours to endure, even though you never could really influence them, not the things that depended on their actions, their decisions. Not when it was something that was purely theirs to create, destroy and live… It happened so many times, truly. You felt so often the urge to be there for someone, just because you knew them, just because you saw their struggle and couldn't help but to try to save them. Because this is what everyone deserves, yes… But with those that had a special place in your heart, those that you felt so close to you, so needed as the air you breathe, there never was a chance for you to say no. Not when your heart so ardently fought for them each day, no matter if it was your battle, your victory to take or not.

One by one they took a part of your life from you, gladly accepting your love, your support and help. And leaving it all to you, to your heart and mind that never were supposed to live so many lives, go through so many situations and emotions, bear so many consequences that were coming from actions that simply weren't yours. And they took it from you. That time and energy, the courage and strength that otherwise would have gone to you, to your own healing, growth and protection. They took it all from you and, worst of all, they were able to do so thanks to you. You who gave it to them, all that you had, in the name of the love that you felt. You that not even once regretted it. Not in the moment at least…

They took so much from you, making you get used to it, to have so little, to give away so much… That now, for once, you want to find someone different. Someone who will not take advantage of your heart. Someone who will understand that, no matter how much you want and try, it is not the right thing to leave it all up to you, to handle their life… Someone who, for once, just knows more, knows better. Someone who can teach you, gently, softly, as they protect you from your own self, from your own urge to disintegrate yourself for the happiness and safety of someone else.

For once… you want to be overwhelmed by someone's joy, their hope, their desire to be here and to live this life. Their strength to choose to see the best aspects of the things. Their strength to be patient, to have faith, to believe that everything will work out in the end. For once you want to receive that strength, not to give it away. For once you want to be protected, guided, as you trust someone who doesn't expect you to lead the way out of the darkness of their days…

It might sound selfish to some, so entitled to look for someone who has it all figured out, who has better and more control of their life… But you are simply tired. And a little lost, if one can say the truth. Tired of figuring everything out constantly, keeping others above the water, as they push you down, never thinking of the air they are taking away from you. It’s not about an easier life, about receiving constant help or guidance, leaving it up to others to make the choice for you… It is about just wanting to have something that is left for your own self too. A little time, a little love, that you can give yourself without being afraid that in the meantime someone would get upset or hurt. You just want to be able to take care of yourself too, not only of those that you love, of your connections, of your situations, that seem to be destroyed each moment you are not looking after them. You just want to have someone that is by your side, living their life, instead of living yours that becomes so scarily about them, their necessities, their dreams, their worry and losses. You just want someone to learn from, or together, how to live this life in the most right and healthy, loving way. Not to teach it. While you yourself don't have any idea of how you are still here, how you made it until now every day.

{ Will you ever find someone like them }

the justice, the eight of wands, the queen of wands

This new and almost desperate desire in your heart now, might feel a lot like frustration, the last realisation of how things should've been when everything already happened, when it is too late to change them… But instead of a tragic end, it is more of a hopeful and promising beginning. The one that you are creating with your each thought, with each moment of understanding of what it is that you really want to feel, when sharing your love. The taste of it, the feeling, the emotions it can give you. With each found answer in your heart you are changing your life, much more than you expect now. Because it really is all about your choices. Your decision of who you will be accepting into your life from now on.

There is a part of you that is growing, getting stronger, preparing to be vigilant and serious about its duty: the one to protect your heart. One little thought created by the tiredness, the sadness of all that you endured… was enough to move the waves of the whole world, of the reality around you. Of who will be brought right to you, and who will be pulled back, not being the right ones. Changing your connections one step, one person at a time. Giving you back the right to decide for yourself, making you remember that you can in fact do it, you can choose the ones dear to your heart.

And it won’t be delusion, entitlement, selfishness, or any sort of limit that you will put on your heart… It will be just you, all grown up, who will now know that it is okay to not take it all on yourself, whatever and whoever comes, because of the fear of what not doing it will cause. It will be your understanding that people can and will make it through on their own, even if they are so afraid or feel incapable of facing their life right now. And it will be also your acceptance that not every story you hear is yours to live, to feel, to make sure it has a good ending. Not everyone is yours to protect and help. Not everyone has the right to come before your own self.

It might be a change that will take its time to settle in, especially in your heart that is just so full of love. Love that you didn't give yourself for so long, pouring it all in the needing hands of those by your side. But it will happen. It will feel safe and right, to allow yourself to choose how much the realities of others influence your life. And as you will go through it, as you will seek that courage and strength… It will be enough to remember that everything will be okay. Even in those moments of uncertainty, it will be enough to hold on tight to the message that we will receive, if you want to, in the extended version of this reading. A message about how you can and will change your life.♡↓

{ a little message for you }

—

– Pile Three,

{ The love that you are longing for }

the ten of wands, the star, the death

It is so difficult to need to explain yourself, your actions, your urges, your reactions. It is tiring to open up your mind and your heart sharing them with others, again and again. Just for them to not understand it, to not pay the slightest of attention, to not take it seriously, all those things that are still consuming your soul… It just feels so useless to go through it, to come out of your comfort zone so hopeful that they would be that right person… only to see them walk away, who scared, who uncomfortable, who deluded or bored. Leaving you feeling like a poor seller who is unable to demonstrate the worth of your broken, lived, soul. When you don't even want to do it in the first place. When it is so ridiculous that you need constantly and so fiercely to defend or explain your wounds, as if they didn't already hurt enough.

It just consumes you. Consumes your every desire to go out there, interact and try to connect with people, creating with such dedication a relationship that - you know it too well - will just be destroyed. By your own past, your own frail soul that is too difficult for others to manage, to use or control. Too delicate to do anything with it without hurting it more.

Deep down you know that not every single person you met was truly so evil at their core. But it still hurts you like hell, being rejected, just put aside, simply because of the way you feel so strongly and deeply every detail about this world. Just because you have more depth to your feelings, more power to the emotions that simply overwhelm you, good or bad, every single bit of them that fills you whole. And that you welcome and feel completely, still remembering how cold and dark it was when there weren't any emotions in you at all.

It just would've been much easier, for once, to not have the need to defend yourself, the way you became. If for once the one in front of you focused on who you are now, and not on who you were or who you could become if only you suppress your soul. Because you changed, yes, and it might be sad to not have that spark that others adored so much about you anymore. But the you who survived still and always deserves the same admiration and love, perhaps even more, after all that you were able to endure. This you who is so different is still you. The you who gave you the strength and courage to face it all. The you who shouldn't at all be forced to explain yourself to those that can't even do one thing: just listen to you, hear you truly, at least for once.

Because it is not so difficult, in the end, to just accept someone and love them for the way they are, without any if or but. You know it well, because you always did it and always do with everyone that is close to you. But while they can be themselves, knowing that they will be truly safe with you, their every wound that will be taken care of without any judgement or expectation to receive something in return… You are always asked to be less or more. To hide your pain, to be more joyful. To not react too much to the things that hurt you. To, instead, be more understanding and patient, accepting, of the ways of others. Even though they never tolerate yours.

So you remain here, among so many of them but still feeling so lonely, so trapped, exactly like it used to feel before. You still are being hurt, even though you had so much courage in not hiding yourself, your scars. Even though you learned to have the needed strength to stand your ground when others didn't see that they were stepping on your heart… And you still hope. That one day, somewhere and someone, for once will just feel drawn to you. Not a memory of you or your potential change. Just someone who, for once, is gentle and kind in their ways. Not because you asked them to, not because they were forced by your tears… But just because they are connected enough to their own heart. Enough to recognise the painfully familiar stories behind your tired and scared eyes. Just one person, just one single time would be enough. Just one single moment in which you would feel loved and cherished the way you are, even with all those fears and doubts that everyone has always something to say about. Just one true and genuine connection. One single chance for your heart to find again the hope that you, exactly the way you are now after all your battles, not less not more, will be enough.

{ You are not in the wrong }

the page of coins, the strength, the six of cups

Finally standing up for yourself, taking your defence, pushing back those that don't make you anymore feel safe… it took a lot of courage, especially when every decision that was already hard enough was also met with judgement, with pure rage, just because for once you weren't ready to be there for someone else. But while you thought that the worst part will be this, finding the strength to prioritise yourself, the most difficult part revealed itself to be resisting the urge to take all your words back, bowing your head, surrendering to discourses of others about how you shouldn't ever do that again, and coming back to your old and consumed self, asking it to endure it once again. But this time with the full awareness of how it is wrong, to give away so much of you, remaining with so little that it is never enough to take care of your own heart and mind…

You are resisting it now with all your strength, but the single thought that they might be right, that you are indeed acting too selfishly, is already enough to shake you to your core, to fill you with the pure terror that you might be becoming one of those that hurt you, coming down to their level without realising what you've done.

But you are not. I promise you. There is nothing wrong in putting yourself first for once. There are no mistakes when you are acting from your heart, from the pure desire to protect yourself now that you are realising that it all just has been too much. You are not the villain here, even if perhaps there isn't one among them either. There is no evil in knowing what you deserve and want, and not accepting nothing less from others, even if they so perfectly mask it with words like “It is the way I love”, “This is the best for you, the best you can ever find or hope for”...

You’ve endured a lot, so much that it is truly non conceivable and admissible that someone belittles it. That someone doesn't give it the importance and incredibly powerful and heart wrenching meaning that you surviving all of that holds. Don't stop for them, for their fears that you will change. Because it has already happened, in the good and in the bad. And if someone can't accept and respect the new you, if they, even in the name of their love, can't accept you… then it is okay. There will be someone else. Someone else who will meet you, get to know you, and learn to appreciate and cherish you for the way you are now, not a memory of who you were.

It might be sad to let go of some people, to lose some connections. It might be frustrating to see their absolute conviction that you are the one in the wrong… But you are tired now, you feel weak after needing to fight against them again and again just to protect yourself… so don't waste your last remaining energy on them, on proving them wrong when they already ended this story as it is more convenient for them in their head. Let them go. Let them be. Not to allow them to think that they are right. But for your own self and to give you that space and time to rest and recover, to take care of yourself.

This world is vast, there are so many of us. Remaining now for a moment alone… doesn't at all condemn you to have all the days of your life lonely and cold. It is just a phase, just a precious moment that will sign a new step in your growth, in how much you consider your own worth and protect yourself at all costs. People come and go. Some are good and some are not. But you are unique, you are the only one you have, the most important person that you need to love and take care of. Even if it means to not accept the love of others, simply because it is so different from what you are longing for. Even if it means to reject the company that you so much want, because they never offer it genuinely but only when it is so convenient and needed for them.

Times will change, you'll start new journeys, go through different paths that will align with others, new and completely different persons. And you'll create new connections, better ones. Better because of the ways and motives of those that will come closer. Better because you will be much more rested, healed and confident after this focus on yourself and this pause. Better because there won't be any play pretend, endurance or feelings that will be ignored. It will be better. Simply because you will learn from your mistakes, you will grow. And so will those that you will let go of, but not at your own expense and endurance of the way your heart hurts for them. Because they might not realise it now, they might be so convinced that you are the one hurting them… but you are making the best decision not only for your own self, but even for them. You are giving all of you a new chance. A chance that you for sure will take and use it to nourish a new beginning in your life, new connections that will love you, cherish you, protect you at all costs. Exactly like it should be between truly loving souls.

And if it feels still a little too overwhelming, a little too scary and unsure, the decision to put yourself first… There is a little message about the future, at what it holds, in our extended version of this reading, right here, if you want or feel the need to hear more.♡↓

{ a little message for you }

—

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usomads · 1 day ago

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Pin Me // Roman Reigns x Reader

***Author’s Note: Hiii I’m back! Had a dream about this recently and figured I’d write it out for y’all. 🤭 Also, tysm for the feedback on the first one shot I did! I wasn’t expecting that big of a response lmao, but I figured I’d write another one to feed y’all. Happy reading! 🖤***

Plot -> You’re an up and coming wrestler on the main roster, working mid card matches to make your way through the ranks and into the main event scene until you find yourself teaming up with the main event.

Pairings -> Roman Reigns x Fem!Reader (Y/N)

Warnings -> Cursing, Daddy Kink, Spit Play, Oral Sex (M!Receiving, F!Receiving), Hickies, Spanking, Unprotected P in V, Creampie, Not Proofread, MDNI

Word Count -> 3.6k

“Miss Y/N, I know you took some bad bumps out there but please try to sit still so we can examine you,” the trainer pleaded. You just had a dark match against Piper Niven before the show opened and you were hurting badly, taking some brutal spots in the process. In the end you had pulled out the win, but you didn’t feel like a winner at that moment. You felt like your ribs had shattered into a million pieces, and it didn’t feel good. “So there’s no breaks or anything like that, you’re just understandably banged up. Keep icing it like you’re doing now and take a Tylenol every now and again, and you should be good to go. Just, don’t go jumping off of things for the next couple days and you’ll be good,” the trainer chuckled. You weakly smiled at him and attempted to get up from the table, but the TV broadcasting Smackdown caught your attention. Roman Reigns caught your attention.

The Bloodline story always captivated you, and it’s part of the reason you started seriously working on your in-ring character. They were the top of the food chain, the blockbuster event, the money ticket, and you hoped one day to grow to their level of popularity and success. Roman and Solo were both cutting a promo, and at first it seemed like the typical stuff. Both claiming to be the Head of the Table, both wanting the crowd to acknowledge them, but it was something Solo said that immediately piqued your interest. “Nobody in the locker room likes you, Roman. The men hate you, the women fear you… you know what-,” he paused for dramatic effect, “I challenge you to find any woman back there that’s dumb enough to team up with you and go against me and my partner next Saturday at Main Event. You win, and I’ll let you have a shot at my ula fala” Roman scoffed, clearly unamused that Solo was doing everything but facing him one-on-one, but agreed to his challenge.

“Wiseman,” he turned to Paul, his longtime advisor as he spoke, “You know what to do.”

Paul wasted no time, making sure to acknowledge his Tribal Chief before he hurried backstage to find the general manager. Now that the segment was over you had no excuse to sit in the trainer’s room, so you walked out and made your way back to the women’s locker room. Still clutching the ice pack to your ribs, you walked gingerly but not before being stopped. “Excuse me, miss Y/N, could I borrow a minute of your time?” There before you was the Wiseman himself, looking more stressed than usual. You were stunned, why would Paul want to talk to me of all people? “Of course, Mr. Heyman. I was just heading back to the locker room. Is everything okay?” “Oh please, call me Paul,” he paused, carefully choosing his next words, “I saw your match with Piper tonight, you looked like a star out there. The splash from the top rope to the announce table was incredible. I-” he stopped his ramblings as his eyes drifted to your ice pack on your ribs, a look of (fear? worry?) evident across his face.

“Oh don’t worry, Mr. Hey- I mean Paul, nothing’s broken. Just a little banged up is all, I’ll be good to go in a couple days,” you smiled as relief washed over his face. “Good, good! I mean- not good that you’re banged up, good that you-” “I know what you mean, Paul,” you chuckled at him, trying to calm him as best you could. “But you wanted to talk to me about something?”

“Yes, right! Well-” he clears his throat, “As the Wiseman to our esteemed Tribal Chief, Roman Reigns, I have been tasked with finding a suitable partner to join him in taking down Solo Sikoa and… whoever his partner is… so I was wondering-”

“Hold on a second, Paul, you want me to be Roman’s tag team partner? I mean forgive me for saying this but isn’t there someone… I don’t know… more worthy of a main event spot than me? Does he even know you’re asking me?”

“Well, not exactly,” he hesitated, “the Tribal Chief has… how do I say this… never been one to make friends. So I’ve so far been unsuccessful in finding him a suitable partner, but you’re here and the match you just put on was phenomenal! Even the Tribal Chief himself said you had a lot of promise, which is more than he says about anyone else…” he continued, “but no, I have not told him I was going to speak with you.” “Then let’s go talk to him, I want him to be okay with me being his partner before I agree to anything.” ******************************************************************

“You can’t be serious, Paul.” Roman sighed in clear frustration with the whole thing, “I mean she’s basically a rookie. And you think it’s a good idea for her to partner with me?” “Well yes, my Tribal Chief. I would never lead you astray.” You squirmed where you stood across the room, uncomfortable with the tension in the air surrounding your presence. Paul continued, “I asked everyone else in the locker room, and all of them declined. If you want to reclaim your ula fala, she’s your only option.” It was then that Roman finally glanced in your direction, eyeing you up and down as he pondered on his decision. His stare alone was enough to make you feel weak in the knees, but you hid that as best as you could. Or tried to, anyway. The silence in the air was thick, and before you could stop yourself you were already speaking. “Ro- I mean, my Tribal Chief-” “Please, Joe is fine.”

“O-okay, Joe-,” you stammered. No man has ever made you act like this; you were always so confident, but here you were fumbling your words and stuttering through your sentences like you were a little girl all over again. It was almost pathetic how much of an effect he had on you, but you continued, “I- think Paul is right. I know I-I’m not a b-big name in this business yet but- you need to win back your ula fala, and you need someone willing to team with you to do it. I’m willing. I’ll help you.” Joe studied your body language as you spoke, watching the way you stood nervously across the room from him and how you were slightly shaking due to the pressure you were under. He watched your breathing, noticing you were breathing heavier with each word that came out of your mouth. He also noticed your lack of eye contact with him, your eyes glued to the floor afraid to look at his reaction to your sudden outburst. Joe had been wronged so many times before by people he loved dearly. Being forced to trust a complete stranger in his quest to regain what was rightfully his seemed unfair, but Paul and Y/N were right- it was the only way he was going to be able to do it. “Come here, Y/N.” Your eyes shot up from the floor at his response, looking at Paul for assurance. Paul gave you a small smile in return, letting you know it was okay to approach him. You made your way to him slowly, still looking anywhere but at him as you did so. When you finally reached him your eyes were still down, not daring to make contact, but a jolt of energy made you do so. With a singular calloused finger he lifted your chin until you were staring back at him. He towered over you and his dark brown eyes stared into your own with a burning intensity you couldn’t quite place.

“You both are sure this is going to work?” He asked you and Paul, still maintaining his gaze with you. “Yes, my Tribal Chief,” Paul replied, a little more confident in his decision than he was about 10 minutes ago. “What about you, Y/N, you’re sure it’ll work?” You swallowed hard, feeling more pressure than ever before. This has to work, you thought, there’s no other option. Letting out a heavy breath you didn’t know you were holding, you breathed out just loud enough for him to hear, “Yes, my Tribal Chief.” “Wiseman, go let Aldis know I found my partner. Oh, and make sure it says between us; I don’t want Solo to see this coming.”

******************************************************************

The day of Saturday Night’s Main Event was finally here, and neither Solo nor the WWE Universe knew you were the ‘mystery partner’. That wasn’t for a lack of trying though, Solo tried every trick in the book to figure it out. Harassing Nick Aldis, sending his lackeys to break into Joe’s dressing room for clues, none of them worked. You both had kept tight-lipped about your partnership, having secret training sessions together in the week leading to the match and keeping creative meetings to ‘need to know personnel’ only. Their plan was executing flawlessly but just had one more step to go: the true element of surprise.

Solo and his partner, Nia Jax, made their entrances into the ring and stood in wait for Roman and his ‘mystery partner’, but were shocked to find that Roman was making his entrance alone. That’s because you were lying under the ring, waiting for your cue to strike. Roman finally entered the ring prompting Solo to start antagonizing him and Nia getting in on the action. Her and Solo’s backs were turned and that’s when you made your appearance, striking Nia from behind and throwing them both off guard.

The match itself was pretty standard, Solo and Roman starting things off. Roman had the upper hand very quickly, but over time that changed. Near fall after near fall from both men ensued, with Superman Punches, Samoan Spikes, Spears, and everything in between. It was apparent that Roman was trying to use most of the time in the ring, he was trying to win this all by himself. But eventually that came back to bite him in the ass, as now he was beaten badly and needed help. His body nearly on the brink of exhaustion as he desperately tried to win in every way possible, to no avail. He knew in the back of his mind you were going to have to finish this match, and that his fate was ultimately in your hands. You knew it too, so while he laid limply in the ring after kicking out of two Samoan Spikes you were screaming for his attention. He dragged himself across the ring to you, finally relenting and giving you the chance to win this, and tagged you in right as Solo was tagging Nia. You entered the ring and suddenly every doubt you had and every insecurity of yours quadrupled as you stood across the ring from the Smackdown Women’s Champion. She came in with a fury you had never encountered before, or seen, and was countering every piece of offense you could get in. But after her initial rush of offense she slowed down, and that was when you struck. You start throwing heavy strikes, tackles, drops, you were unloading the clip of your entire move set on her, and it was working. You had her down on the mat, and were climbing the top rope to hit your finisher on her and nailed it. You immediately crawled on top of Nia to use your signature pin, by straddling her head and using your knees to keep her shoulders down. It was at this moment you locked eyes with Roman who had a different look in his eyes than you’ve ever seen before, eyes darker than ever as they trailed down your body and stared at your suggestive pin position. 1… 2… 3…

You won. You pinned Nia, and you just secured Roman’s opportunity at the ula fala. Both of your names were being announced but you couldn’t hear it, stuck in this trance of Roman’s stare. He entered the ring and stood over you as you were still straddling Nia, looking down at you as you were practically on your knees in front of him. He guides you to your feet by lightly grabbing your chin, making sure he keeps his eyes on your facial features.

“Be at my locker room in 10 minutes,” he says loud enough for only you to hear, “we’ve got some celebrating to do.” ******************************************************************

You had only given one soft knock on the door before it flung open and were dragged inside, now roughly pressed against it as bites and bruises were being scattered across your neck.

“You did so good for me out there, baby, winning for me all by yourself,” Joe growled against you, “So daddy’s gonna reward you, all you gotta do it be a good girl f’me and you’ll get want you want. Do I make myself clear?”

“Yes, f-fuck, yes sir.” Joe groaned in response and ripped off your ring gear, as you now stood completely bare before him. He drank in your naked body, how it was curved in all the right places with your beautiful breasts and ass perfectly on display for him. It was then that he noticed the artwork decorating your hip and thigh, a true masterpiece that would make Botticelli’s portrait of Venus look like a kid’s drawing. One that he would have no shame in hanging above his fireplace and admiring it for as long as he lives.

He attached his lips to yours in an instant and you felt as though you were putty in his hands. This kiss was needy, desperate, and your hands felt the same as your hands wandered up and down his torso and his gripping your ass and breasts like his life depended on it. Joe removed the shirt he was wearing to reveal his god-like body to you, and you felt your wetness begin to drip just from the sight of him alone. His hands continued to wander, reaching your aching core as he let a singular calloused finger drag itself through your wetness. You bucked your hips in response, wanting more of him, but instead felt another large hand grab your waist. “Uh-uh princess, none of that. You’re gonna take what I give you, when I give it to you. Understand?”

“Yes daddy, I just-,” your sentence was halted in its tracks by a rough smack to your ass, making you cry out in pleasure with a hint of pain.

“Don’t talk back to me baby, Daddy doesn’t wanna have to punish you before you get your reward,” he leans into your ear, lips brushing your earlobe as he whispers, “and you don’t want that, do you baby?”

“N-no, no sir. I’ll be good.”

“Good girl, now show Daddy how good your mouth looks full of his cock.” You drop to your knees, hands fumbling with the belt around his hips. Finally you unbuckle it, removing it and releasing him from the confines of his pants and boxers. His cock is as god-like as the rest of him, perfect length, thickness, and the right amount of veins that you know will have your head spinning the moment it enters you.

“Look at me baby,” he tilts your head towards him with his finger, “open your mouth for me.” Reluctantly, you obeyed as he leaned down and spit in your mouth, giving you more to coat his dick with. Still looking up at him, you wrap your hand around the base and spit on the tip, bringing your hand up to pump his cock and fully coat it. You stroke him a few more times before dragging your tongue along one of the veins, making him shudder and let out a low groan, bringing his fingers to your hair and tugging lightly.

“Mmm baby don’t tease Daddy, go ahead pretty girl.”

You wrap your lips around the tip, giving kitten licks and sucking the sensitive head. He hisses and tugs harder on your hair, encouraging you to take more of him. You relax your jaw as you slowly bob your head up and down on his cock, using your tongue and hollowing your cheeks with your movements. Looking up at Joe you see he is a mess above you, eyes squeezed shut, head thrown back, and moaning your name. To you he always looked like a god among men, but seeing him in this state and being the one to get him there made you want him more than anything in your life. “F-fuck Y/N, you take me so well sweetheart, but I wanna cum in that pretty pussy of yours.” He helps you to your feet and guides you to the couch. He lays down, and as you move to straddle his waist, he stops you. “No, baby. I want you to pin me.” You look at him confused for a moment, unsure of what he’s saying. “Your pin tonight,” he adds, “pin me like you did Nia.” You hesitate before climbing on top of him, straddling his shoulders and resting your calves on them. “Like this, daddy?” You ask nervously.

“No baby, like this.” He lifts your hips from their seated position and brings your pussy directly to his face, where he latches his lips to your aching core. The feeling of his lips and tongue eating you with such desperation makes you jolt forward, grabbing onto his hair for support. He chuckles against you briefly before going back to work on you, licking your folds and wrapping his lips around your clit. His tongue is working wonders on you as he plays with your entrance before slipping it inside. The feeling is overwhelming, both tender and rough at once. You feel yourself getting closer, your walls fluttering around his tongue with every movement it makes. All of a sudden though, he stops, and you whine in response. “As much as I’d love to eat you for every meal and then some, I think the winner here deserves to cum around my cock. Would you like that, baby?”

“Fuck yes, Daddy please, please fuck me.”

“You’ve been such a good girl tonight, I think you deserve it baby. Come on.” You both get up as he bends you over the couch, teasing your entrance with his cock before roughly slamming into you from behind. You scream out in response, which makes him cover your mouth and bring you close.

“Now baby, as much as I’d love to hear you scream my name over and over, I gotta keep you quiet. You wouldn't want someone barging in, would you?” Your pussy tightens around him in response and you moan into his hand. “Oh, you dirty girl… I gotta keep you around, don’t I princess?” He removes his hand from your mouth and brings it to your hair, wrapping it around his wrist for leverage and tugging it as he pounds you from behind. His free hand is roughly smacking your ass as he roughly fucks you, making your pussy squeeze his cock. Your mind is completely blank, the only thing you can think about is him and how good he’s fucking you as you become a moaning mess beneath him.

“Fuck Y/N,” he groans in your ear, “your Tribal Chief wants to fill your pretty pussy full of his cum, can I baby?” “Mmm, y-yes m-my T-tribal chief. Want y-you to f-fill me up.” He moans at your response, speeding up his thrusts. The sounds of your skin slapping and moans have completely filled the room. You knew if some poor soul walked by they’d know exactly what was happening in here, but neither of you cared. Right now, the only thing on both of your minds was how incredible you felt. It didn’t take long for him to figure out where your spot was, feeling your pussy react to him with every snap of his hips. Both of you were close now, you could feel it, but your orgasm was the first to hit. And it was intense. Your knees buckled under you as you spasmed under him and pushed back further into him, driving him deeper than before. The feeling of you cumming around him was what did him in, releasing himself into you in waves that had him coating your walls completely, marking your pussy as his. He admires his work in front of him; you completely fucked out before him, neck covered in marks he left on you, pussy swollen and red from the beating he just gave it, and best of all, leaking his cum. He takes a moment to come back down to Earth and takes in his surroundings, eyes landing on the ripped up garments on the floor that was your ring gear. Chuckling, he picks up his phone and dials a number. “Hey, Paul. I- yes, we’re fine. Listen, I need you to bring an extra set of clothes with you. There was, um,” he pauses, watching your glossy eyes close and your breathing soften, “an incident.” Paul begins to tease him through the phone, but Joe isn’t listening; he’s admiring the woman sleeping soundly before him and realizing that maybe the match wasn’t the only thing she won tonight, but she had won his heart too.

#roman reigns #roman reigns smut #roman reigns x reader #roman reigns fic #roman reigns fanfic #roman reigns x female reader #roman reigns oneshot

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little-diable · 13 hours ago

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Her time to rise - Annatar/Sauron (smut)

I got this idea after reading a wonderful fic by my love @sansaorgana - so, thank you for inspiring this! I think this has potential for a part 2? Please like and reblog if you enjoyed reading this, your comments keep us writers motivated! Enjoy my loves. xxx

Summary: She has been working at Celebrimbor's side for years, before that she had followed Galadriel on her quest. But what if it is nothing but a game to her? What if it is finally her time to rise after they took her lover from her? What if Sauron is the one she has needed all this time?

Warnings: 18+, smut, piv, kinda public smut, choking, handjob, evil reader

Pairing: Sauron x fem!reader (2k words)

The night was dark as she wandered through Eregion, eyes cast ahead while her hands held onto the fabric of her dress. Her thoughts were loud, and yet she tried to stay focused, knowing that she couldn’t get distracted when she felt the breaking point oh so very close.

It didn’t take long until the sound of her shoes meeting the stone ground was no longer the only thing that could be heard, accompanied by a similar sound growing louder and louder. A soft smile began to tug on her lips as she felt him close, forcing her to slow her walk, “Lady (y/n), what a surprise to cross paths with you this late at night.”

“My lord, I fear my thoughts have dimmed the light my heart clings to. I was hoping the cold air may soothe my worries.” Her eyes found his, starting up at Annatar - or at least the being that had so carefully chosen this very name. Slowly, his hand darted out to find hers, interlacing their fingers to hold onto her with concern swimming in his pupils.

“Do you mind if I walk with you?” She only shook her head before averting her gaze, letting him pull her along with their fingers still interlaced. The sound of the creek rushing nearby found its way to her, cozying the two along as if they were walking the meadows of Valinor, seeking a calm hour.

“Tell me, (y/n), is it true what Master Celebrimbor has told me? Have you joined Lady Galadriel in her most honourable fight against darkness?” For a moment, she kept quiet, looking at the man who towered over her. It was a handsome appearance, powerful enough to impress those who feared the smallest specks of darkness, and yet he had been lazy with it, unable to stop his appearance from morphing whenever he was distracted.

“It is. I’ve walked with her for years, until I followed Master Celebrimbor to this very place.” She sank down on the stone bench, letting go of his hand while he kept standing close to her. He seemed troubled, deep in thought while his eyes followed the rushing waters. To (y/n) it almost seemed as if he was waiting for the creek to speak to him, to share its ancient secrets he could manipulate to his liking.

Games, nothing but games.

“Why don’t you sit with me, my lord.” Her whispers interrupted his train of thoughts, forcing his way back to her with careful steps. There was something lingering in the air, something wrapping itself around the two while her hand found his cheek, letting her thumb stroke his warm skin. “None of them see your troubles, but I do, Lord Annatar. I can feel how heavy your plagued heart is, and it pains me to be unable to take this burden from you.”

He leaned into her touch, letting his eyes flutter close for a moment she used to let a grin widen on her lips. Slowly, she moved closer, thighs pressed against his only to let a soft gasp rumble through her at the touch, “Tell me, will you let me ease your pain? Even if it’s just for tonight?”

“Show me, (y/n), show me how you intend to free me of the pain you speak of so freely.” The second he had stopped speaking, she had pressed her lips against his. A strange sensation zapped through her, reminding her of the power he had used to let his hammer come in contact with the strongest metals, forming rings simple minds couldn’t dare to understand. He instantly reacted to the kiss, using more force to deepen it while pulling her closer to sit on his left thigh. “I feel your eyes on me, they follow me around. Tell me, is it curiosity that drives you on or is it your lust?”

She was close to ending her game, annoyed by the arrogance dripping from his words, and yet she kept quiet, simply connecting their lips again while her hands wandered over his chest, down to his trousers. A sound similar to a moan clawed through him the second she brushed her fingers over his crotch while grinning against his lips. (Y/n) moved quickly, freeing him from his trousers as if they had once formed a tangled mess of limbs night and night again.

He twitched in her grasp, allowing her to pump her hand with skilled movements. The sounds he made reminded her of a time when he had only known pain, nothing but a pawn in another’s game. Oh, how things have changed, allowing him to seek the power he had always tasted on the tip of his tongue and yet had never been quick enough to grasp.

“Is this what you want? To be fucked by a messanger of the Valar?” His rasped out words wrapped themselves around (y/n), forcing her away from his lips to properly study him. Something torn between lust and anger was widening on his features, a sight that made excitement simmer deep inside of her. Her tongue ran over her lower lip, appearing deep in thought with furrowed eyebrows and an averted gaze.

“Would you grant me this wish, my lord?” He didn’t need to reply, all Annatar did was grasp her waist to pull her into his lap. Wordlessly he allowed her to move, to push her garments aside to come in contact with his cock, brushing her slick-covered folds against him. (Y/n) looked back up at him as if he was a sight as beautiful as the Great Tree, a guiding light others ached for whenever they heard the call of darkness.

No words were spoken as she sank down on him, letting her forehead fall against his neck to deeply exhale. He perfectly stretched her, forcing her walls to flutter around him while slowly rolling her hips. The hands on her waist kept her stabilised, allowing (y/n) to take what she was desperate for – nothing but another step in the game she was so close to winning, all too aware of the bond now forming between them.

“You feel most divine, Lady (y/n), time was taken with your creation.” One of his hands left her waist to find her throat, fingers wrapped around it to get her to look at him. They stared at one another, but as the seconds blurred by, something flickered in his eyes, something making her wonder if he was finally seeing through the hazy fog of confusion surrounding her.

“Hasn’t it been the other way around, my lord? You’re a gift to us all, a perfect craft others only dare to dream of.” She moved quicker, set on pushing them both over the edge with a smirk glued to her lips. He didn’t reply, only kept staring at her while the grasp on her throat kept growing tighter, seemingly fighting a war inside of him, a war he was about to lose.

Moans clawed through her, spurred on by the hand she sneaked between their bodies to rub her pulsing bundle. No longer did he look like the messenger he had taken upon, something other was tugging on his features, turning him into a darker form pushing excitement through her. An excitement that only grew as his hand was replaced by a dagger.

“They speak of you as if you’re the carrier of light, a divine appearance none of us are fortunate enough to study for long. Who are you?” A chuckle broke out of her, she cupped his cheek, pulled him in for a kiss – a kiss of death set on destroying the walls he had built around him ever since Morgoth’s defeat.

“You fear the shadows, do you not, my lord?” (Y/n)’s words had a teasing undertone, and yet they were accompanied by something drawing a groan from him. But even through their back and forth, they kept moving, uniting their bodies to let the sweetest release flush through them. She rolled her head back, allowing his blade more access to her skin in a teasing manner, waiting for him to snap.

He twitched inside of her, drawing a moan out of them both as they fell over the edge together, heavily panting while the sensation clung to them. Annatar kept holding onto her, intently studying (y/n) who couldn’t help but let go of a dark chuckle. She clung to him while reaching for his blade, eyes fluttering close to give room to the voices deep inside of her, gaining the upper hand.

“He spoke of you often.” (Y/n) pushed herself out of his grasp, rising back to her feet. Confusion began to widen on his handsome features, not understanding who and what she was talking about. Her fingers stroked the blade, watching the creek rush on as to tell him to flee, to grasp the chance of safety before his darkest nightmare could rise again.

“Who?” A whisper, nothing more than a soft breeze wrapping itself around the two, but while he found himself drowning in questions, she gave room to her sadness, the burning sensation that had once been the bonding force between her and her lover.

“Morgoth, Mairon, he spoke of you, he had plans for you.” The creek had stopped rushing, the breeze had stopped whispering, the stars had stopped twinkling. All Middle Earth had stopped moving, forced to a sudden halt. He rose to his feet to take a step closer, jaw muscles clenched to try and avoid making a fool of himself.

“Who are you?” A laugh rumbled through her, a chilling sound that didn’t carry any humour, but pained memories and a broken heart that had rotted from inside out over the years. Sauron’s hand found her wrist, pulling (y/n) closer – a simple touch reminding her of all those nights where he had seeked her out with wounds littering his body. Wounds her lover had left on his body as if he were a mere map used to connect thoughts and plans.

“You know who I am, Mairon.” Her eyes wandered over his features, finding his widening pupils as he slowly shook his head to try and deny the truth. “You wanted to forget, but you never will be strong enough to let go of him, just like me. They took him from me, left me to rot without him near. I am tired of watching them prance around, still singing of his defeat. It’s my time to take away what they love the most!” Anger was clinging to every part of her features, forcing a fire to burn in her pupils. The fear he emanated pushed excitement through her system, already imagining the downfall of all Middle Earth. It was her turn to rise, to take back what had been ripped from her all those endless centuries ago.

“You were gone, I longed for you, but I couldn’t feel you.�� Her had cupped his cheek, studying the man who had once found comfort in her closeness. It almost seemed as if all pain he had kept bottled inside, hidden from the surface, found its way back to him, clashing through him as if the Great Sea was living inside of him.

“But now I am here, and it’s finally time for us to reclaim Middle Earth, Mairon.” A plan he had forged for years was slowly slipping through his hands. He had pictured it so vividly, seeing the way he would be the one to finally regain all power. But now he was nothing more than yet another pawn, following the call of the same being he had once served.

And as their surroundings started moving again, pushed back into their most lively forms, a smile began to widen on the lips she then pressed against his. A simple kiss. Death’s kiss.

#Annatar smut #Annatar x reader #Sauron smut #Sauron x reader #rings of power

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ordowrites · 2 days ago

Text

Insomnia Pt 2

characters: kaeya, neuvilette, diluc (again)

cw: depression mention, anxiety mention, no pronouns used but reader is given affectionate terms, warnings for diluc's past, honestly this is just written for my own self comfort and indulgence so mild ooc warning. mdni, blank blogs dni. reader is not the traveler, reader has an electro vision. fluff. very corny. i have writer's block so pls forgive me.

Kaeya is woken up by you a few nights in a row now - he knows how quiet you try to be when you crawl out of bed as he has long mornings, days, and sometimes even nights. still, the bed is always too empy without you and the minute you leave, he considers getting up to follow you. But he understands your need to be left alone.

It's only when you don't come back to bed that he's getting up, hardly caring about being robed as he joins you in the living room, where you've tucked yourself away.

Puffy eyed and staring at the purple gem.

Ah.

"Shall I make you the cocoa you love?" You shake your head. "Okay, what would you like?"

"Just sit with me." So he does, and you lean into his arms. He wishes he could shield you forever from the pain of the world, take it all away and be your knight in shining armor. But he can't always do that. So he kisses the top of your head and murmurs things he hopes helps.

Sleepless nights are not uncommon in this household at all.

Neuvilette is somehow both surprised and not too surprised to see you outside so late at night - eyes straining in the dim street lighting to read your book. When he prompts about it, you merely shrug.

"It's a good book." you simply say. "Care to join me, Monsieur Neuvilette?"

"I would be honored." Your smile is lovely as he sits down in the metal chair that is, quite frankly, uncomfortable. "It is late, are you alright?"

"'m fine, got my book." You nod to the book you aren't actually reading. "Couldn't sleep, so...came out here. I like it when it's night time. Everything is so calm and quiet."

He gets it - the bustling city of Fontaine, the hectic schedule of an overworked journalist. You're doing your best and that's all he can tell you.

"But if you don't mind....I do like the company of another." So your thoughts don't wander, so you don't feel like you'll breakdown again.

"I shall stay for as long as you need."

Diluc is no stranger to sleepless nights, in fact, he's quite uses to them. Thoughts of his past linger too closely to him, they return in sensory - biting cold, a loud voice, flames that burn too hot.

And tonight, you're tossing and turning - tonight, you're struggling with anxieties about things neither of you can control.

"Wanna go for a walk?" Your voice breaks the air - tired. Exhausted.

"Yeah."

He feels like a kid again - sneaking out, and walking around the manor's grounds under a starlit sky.

"Nightmare again?"

"Nothing to worry about, my beloved." Diluc lets out a heavy sigh. "What about you?"

"Ugh, just can't sleep much these days." He understands and beckons for you to follow him - it's a spot where he and Kaeya used to hide out late at night. "You know how it is. I worry for you."

"My beloved, I always come home.

"I know." you mumble as he pulls you into a tender hug. "Archons, Diluc, I have nightmares about losing you."

"I know, I know. I'm here." Diluc hushes. "I'm here now."

"For how much longer?" You cling to him tighter and you both stay, hidden in this field until Adelinde calls for breakfast. Diluc doesn't get the chance to answer as you pull away to head back to the manor, the conversation dying.

For the rest of time, he thinks, as he follows you back. I promise.

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ramblinscramblin · 1 day ago

Note

May I request scout and demo (and maybe heavy if you want) with a ftm reader??? It can be any scenario NSFW, sfw idc. I'm hungry and I need food 😭 (you don't gotta do this btw just a little thought ♥️)

-‼️

→With a FTM reader!

Genre: slice of life, fluff! Male reader!

Characters: Scout, Demo, Heavy

Of COURSE I will write this. Relationship left pretty ambiguous. Hope you enjoy! Thank you again for the ask!

Scout

Scout definitely doesn’t realize without you spelling it out for him, no matter how “feminine” you may present.

Asks A LOT of questions, borders on invasive, but is just genuinely pretty confused and intrigued about it.

“So… wait, you were born a chick, but now you’re a guy? How’s dat work?”

“Scout, we have been over this. Literally ten times,” you say, exasperated.

After the initial long and honestly exhausting conversation, the two of you feel closer for it. He’s secretly sentimental as hell, so he appreciates you telling him so much, like it genuinely makes him feel so trusted.

When you come out to him, the support is not instant, as he tends to show these kinds of things in really covert ways, he doesn’t want anyone knowing he has a big heart.

But the second someone says something out of line that is when his support is the most apparent. Always corrects someone when they misgender you, but if they continue after he corrects them? Buddy, it’s over.

You tell scout you appreciate it, but you can stand up for yourself. He’s not really having it though, too hot headed to let it go.

Genuinely forgets your trans at time.

“Why don’t you ever use the urinals? S’weird,” the commented once as you left the bathroom together.

“Scout.”

“What?” He blinked at you dumbly for a few seconds, before realization dawns on him “oh shit! Dats right, sorry.”

He’s trying his best.

Demoman

Demo is part of team “not really my business so it doesn’t affect me”

As in it doesn’t really affect the way that he feels about you, or the way he treats you.

Doesn’t ask any questions unless it’s clear to him it’s something you’d like to talk about.

Depending on closeness he may even feel confident in making some jokes about it. Only if you find them funny though, absolutely wouldn’t do it if made you upset/uncomfortable.

Is big into giving you male experiences that you may have missed out on, mostly cliché and stereotypical things, some of which you have probably definitely done before.

“Demo, I think we’re a little too old to be playing trains right now,” you say, holding a train in your hand.

“Fine then, I’ll just clean it up then,” Demo said with a huff.

You stop him “well… I didn’t say that.”

Let’s you speak for yourself in most settings, but if you ever express your discomfort in a situation he won’t hesitate to remove you from it/remove the person causing this discomfort.

Doesn’t make a huge scene, will take the blame for you saying it’s him who’s got a problem.

Demo supports you when you need it, encourages you through your medical transition if you choose to do so/if you haven’t already.

Alternatively, reassures you that you’re not less of a man for not having surgeries or using HRT if you choose not to.

I honestly believe that Demo has been around a lot of queer people, he’s the world’s best trans ally.

Heavy

Heavy, like Scout has a lot of questions when you come out. Isn’t nearly as invasive and holds back anything that he thinks may make you uncomfortable.

It doesn’t change how he views you, thinks of you as man no matter what.

Really appreciates that he’s someone you trust enough to tell, even if he doesn’t fully get it, he understands that it can be a nerve wracking thing to talk about.

Recommends medic if you want to have any surgeries done, respectfully you decline. Fearing for the rest of your organs well being.

Heavy does a lot of reading to ensure he gets things right, but only brings up your transness if you do.

Loves hearing about your trans experience if you tell him about it, will listen intently taking mental notes.

Doesn’t feel the need to protect you, you’re a grown man who handled himself perfectly fine without him. But, like Demo, if he feels you getting a little out of your depth all he really has to do is come stand behind you.

Gender affirming nicknames, always. I feel like Heavy is big into nicknames some of his favorite for you is “big man” “guy” “handsome” if he’s feeling bold.

“How is the big man today,” he asked coming up to you one day.

You chuckle a little bit “it really should be me asking you that.”

Being with Heavy is a testosterone booster, just enjoy being masculine together.

OOOOO I LOVED WRITING THIS SO MUCH. I may revisit this idea later and add more of the mercs, for now I have more asks to get to! Thanks so much for the ask! (*ﾟ▽ﾟ*)

#tf2 #team fortress 2 #tf2 scout #tf2 demoman #tf2 heavy #x reader #headcanons #heavy x reader #scout x reader #demoman x reader #ftm reader #transmasc reader #fic #fanfic #fanfiction #tf2 x reader #tf2 x you

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itwdoris · 3 days ago

Note

Anything with toji or megumi pls do ur magic specialty ✨

fushiguro megumi x afab reader.

author notes; all characters are aged up.

tw; omorashi.

★

"megumi..." you called low for help, as you had just painted your beautiful nails and well, your bladder didn't seem to mind much, begging for release. surely your best friend would help you in this situation.

the black-haired man looked at you as he closed the nail polish bottles and put them back, looking at you and hoping that you would make more than just half-desperate faces, because he needed words. "what?"

"need help." you maneuvered yourself onto your knees, biting your lip while pressing your thighs together. it was getting harder to hold than you thought at the beginning of everything.

"what for?" well, he would help you, he just needed to know what you needed, because you seemed very restless, blowing your nails to try to make them dry faster, but that would ruin the nail polish, wouldn't it?

"need- oh lord..." your face was on fire with the realization of what you'd asked him to do, you were intimate but speaking out loud wasn't as easy as you thought. "-i need to pee."

fushiguro needed a few minutes to process what you had asked, because he was a great best friend and would surely always be there to help you, but what exactly did you expect from him with this? because he didn't know if he could hide a ridiculously big erection by helping you pee, by seeing your

fuck.

"megumi!" you closed your eyes as you called softly, wriggling more and more, with the damp esmlate on your nails, trying not to soil your clothes or the bedclothes. "oh lord..."

he blinked a few times as he came back to earth, watching you try to get out of bed on your knees before there was an accident. well, it wasn't as if you didn't know, after drinking so much water, you'd been holding it in since early on, and was doing well, holding back when felt that it was going to leak or that you needed to go, he saw you stir several times.

"w-what do you need me to do?" he asked as he grabbed you by the arm, preventing you from getting out of bed. the ears are a little red.

you thought of many scenarios at once, the best was when he just helped you with the clothes and you did the rest, so it was chosen.

"j-just help me with my clothes." he let go of your arm so that you could come to him, hearing a loud gulp and looking at him.

it turns out that megumi was just imagining a lot of scenarios too, thankful that you couldn't read his mind. he's not a perv.

shaking his head to get it away when you stoped in front of him, taking your hands to the buttons of your shorts to open them and help you take them off. and this part was a bit difficult as he had to make you lie down and the position you were in seemed a little suggestive, even more so with your incessant whimpers.

"you're wet?" he looked at your panties with a big wet spot, your eyebrows arching in concern, had you really leaked at those times? "how long have you been holding it?"

your face suddenly turned red and you looked away, pressing your lips together as fushiguro tried his best to think of things, because he couldn't get hard right now, even if it was almost impossible. poor fushiguro.

"you've been holding it since early on, haven't you?" he asked almost in disbelief, bending down a little to pull you by the arms and help you up so that you could get out of bed and go to the bathroom. "why didn't you go before?"

not that he was complaining about being here now, because honestly, seeing you with your piss-soaked panties and your little red face was better than anything he had imagined.

"thought i could hold it longer..." you cringed nervously, but not too much because soon something leaked again and there you were. "megumi!-"

just a bit late, because soon you were pissing yourself and he couldn't do much about it, just watching the wet spot on your panties gradually increase each time the flow was released more, listening to your relieved sigh and seeing your body arched in relaxation, face red and looking so pleasurable. he could feel his cock throbbing inside his pants.

and you were so embarrassed, with face turned away so you wouldn't have to face him, you didn't needed to see to hear and know that the flow was wetting the bed and probably a bit of his clothes, taking hands to your intimacy with the intention of covering it.

but megumi pushed them away, his eyes on your soaked panties as he gasped quietly, daring to run his hands over your thighs and up a little further until he reached the hem of your panties, coming a little closer just to pull them up, hearing a moan from you. "ngh! megumi! "

he could see your messy folds against the wet fabric, he could see so it well, he could feel when he ran his hand over it.

megumi could so many things as he felt your piss diminishing little by little, now dripping against his fingers. moving away from you just a little, sighing, putting his wet hand on his clothed cock for a little relief.

damn, now he needs help.

i don't know anything, but a little birdie told me that megumi has a BIG pisskink... anyway, i still don't think i've done him justice, but one day we'll get there.

i received an ask and i wanted to try an idea so i took advantage of this pretty request, dunno if it's really valid as omo, but i don't think it's that far off so.. hope you like it <3

#megumi fushiguro #megumi fushiguro x reader #megumi x reader #tw piss

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justwhisperingfantasies · 2 days ago

Text

Girl At The Rock Show Part 5

Characters: Jensen Ackles (xreader). Mac(o.c), Jared Padalecki. Val (o.c). Phil (o.c)

Warnings: Language, Fluff, Talk of abusive/controlling relationship. A hint of PTSD from an abusive relationship maybe. Let me know if I forgot any.

Summary: Getting dragged to that live show might have been the best thing that ever happened to you. Now you are falling. Falling fast.

Word count: 6.268 words

A/N: Part 5 Y'all. I am having so much fun with this story. Thank you all for the kind words and the inspiration to keep writing.🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰 Hope y'all enjoy it. 💗

Please don't copy my work and post it elsewhere.

Like, comments and reblogs are highly appreciated 💗

Part 1

Part 2

Part 3

Part 4

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{} Reader’s P.O.V {}

You plopped in your bed with a heavy sigh. You lay there replaying the day in your head.

“Hey, do you still need a ride to the dealership tomorrow?” Mac asked from your doorway.

“Not necessarily, I can Uber if something came up.”

“It’s not that. I just didn’t know if you wanted Jen.”

“No.” You cut her off. “Sorry, that came out bitchy.”

“You, ok?”

“I don’t know.”

“Do I need to hurt him?”

You chuckled. “No.”

“You wanna talk about it?”

“I don’t know.” You sighed again. Just then your phone buzzed. It was a picture from Jensen. “Well, shit!” you said opening the message.

“What?”

“I forgot about my cowboy hat.” She laughed at your pouty face.

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{} Jensen’s P.O.V {}

He put your bags in the armchair then threw his keys on the coffee table as he slumped onto the couch. Somehow his house seemed even more empty tonight. He slid his phone out of his pocket debating whether to send you a picture of him in your hat. Fuck it. He jumped up and tossed his hat. He got the angle and his smile just right then snapped the picture.

As he waited for a reply, he figured he had better call Jared. It only rang once.

“Finally, I was just about to call in a search party.”

Jensen chuckled. “What’s up, man?”

“Nothing just hanging out.”

“Yea. What are Gen and the kids doing?”

“Jensen!”

“What?” Jensen asked laughing.

“Tell me about her.”

“Like I said earlier. She just moved to Austin. I met her at the show last night and I showed her around Austin today.”

“And?”

“She smells like caramel and sandalwood, likes Garth Brooks, plays pool better than me, likes Zeppelin, has great banter, and she’s fun. And she’s smart J.P. She went to Columbia. She’s a Cowboys’ fan adjacent.”

Jared chuckled. “What does that mean?”

“Her mama was a Cowboys fan.”

“So, you like her?” He could hear the smile in Jared’s voice.

“No, I just take random girls all over the city and spend the whole day with them.”

“Sarcastic answer. So, you really like her.” Jensen sighed heavily. “What’s so wrong with that?” Jared asked.

“24 hours Jared. I’ve known her for 24 hours.”

“Dude, the first time I met Gen I knew there was something special about her.”

“Yea well, I don’t have the luck you do.”

“Eh. Maybe you’re luckier than you think Jensen.”

“What if.” There was a beep. “Hold on.” He tapped the speaker phone option and opened the text.

Y/N: I expect that hat back in the same exact condition I left it in Jensen Ross.

Jensen chuckled.

“What?!” Jared asked. Jensen explained about your hat and read the message out loud. “Middle naming you already huh?”

“I guess so.”

“When are you gonna see her again?”

“Not sure. She’s supposed to call me tomorrow after she gets her car.”

“Listen Ackles, you can sit around all day and play that what-if game. It’s a waste of time. I’m not saying hop on a plane and head to Vegas, but obviously, you like her. So stop being scared about it and just take it one day at a time.”

“You’re right, but it’s easier said than done my friend.”

Jared chuckled. “Which part?”

“Both.”

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{} Jensen’s P.O.V {}

He stopped mid-bicep curl when “call from (y/n)” came through his earbuds, a smile spread across his face when he heard her name.

He sat the dumbbell down and tapped his earbud. “Well, hey there, sweetheart.”

“Hello, Mr. Ackles.” His smile got bigger when he heard her voice. “Are you at a club? Sir, It’s 10 in the morning.”

He chuckled. “I’m at the gym.” He started walking toward the door. “Hold on a sec”

“Wanna call me back?”

“No.” He stepped outside. “Better?”

“Yes. So, the gym huh?”

He smiled. “Yep.”

“What are you wearing?”

“Nothing…”

“I’m gonna need proof.”

Throwing his head back he let out a laugh. “How’s your morning going?”

“Pretty good. I got my car and called Erica.”

“Well?”

“I have an interview tomorrow.”

“That’s exciting! Congrats.”

“Thank you. Still a wee bit nervous though.”

“Don’t be you will crush it.”

“Speaking of crushing it, do you wanna finish your workout?”

“Gimme 20 minutes?”

“You don’t have to rush.”

“I was almost done anyhow.”

“Ok then. Talk to you then.”

He smiled. “Lookin forward to it.”

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{} Reader’s P.O.V {}

Mac sat down in your car as you said goodbye. “What no argument on who hangs up first?” She said, smiling at you.

You rolled your eyes, “Which coffee shop would you like to go to?”

“Ghoul. You will freaking love it.” She put the address in your maps app. You started following the directions. “So, you called him?”

“I called him.” You confirmed.

“And?”

“And nothing. We talked for a few minutes, teased a little, and he was at the gym, so I told him to finish and call me later.” You said following the curve to E St Elmo Rd.

She nodded and turned the volume up as Burin’ For You by Blue Oyster Cult started to play. The two of you jammed for 3 more songs before making it to the coffee shop.

“Well, that was fun.” You admitted as you parked on the street.

“Just like old times.” She said opening her door.

“This is cute.” You said as you walked past the picnic tables to the coffee truck.

“I knew you would like it.”

You looked over the menu. Mac ordered her drink and then looked at you “Maple boob butter please.” The barista gave you the total and you handed her your card.

“(Y/N)!!” who the hell is yelling my name in Austin you thought as you turned around.

Mac didn’t even have to turn around. “Is Jared Padalecki really yelling your name right now?”

“Babe, I hate to tell you this, but if you know their voice without a face, you may have watched the show too many times”

She turned around, “No such thing!”

“Well, well, if it ain’t the O.G Dean.” You said as Jared approached you making him chuckle. “How are.” He cut you off with a hug. Making you let out a small gasp.

“I’m good,” he said releasing you. “How are you?”

“Good.” You told him and Mac cleared her throat.

“Jared. This is Mckinnley. My Supernatural and everything about Jensen and Jared obsessed best friend.

He smiled. “Howdy, Mckinnley.” He stuck his hand out. “It’s nice to meet you.”

“Mac, call me Mac.” She shook his hand

“Mac” he repeated, and she giggled “How come you haven’t got her to watch Supernatural yet?”

“I have been trying. James was a stupid.”

“Mac!”

“Shit I’m sorry.”

The barista called out your order and Mac turned to grab your drinks.

“Should I ask?” Jared asked you.

“Long story short. There was a thing, but the thing is gone now. I have every intention of watching it.”

“A thing?”

“My ex.”

“Oh.”

“Yea. He was a jealous, manipulative, controlling douche. I wasn’t allowed to watch Supernatural.”

“And he can rot in hell,” Mac said holding your coffee out to you.

“Look, I shouldn’t have pried. I’m sor”

“Jared it's ok.” You took a drink. Damn, it was good. “Jensen knows.”

“Not my business.”

“Yes, it is. He’s your best friend.”

“Jared, you want your usual?” The barista asked him.

“Yes, please.” he walked to the window and handed her his card. “Hey,” he turned back to you. “I have an odd request.”

“Hit me, Padalecki.”

He got out his phone and tapped a couple of things. “Here.” He handed it to you. The screen was set up to FaceTime Jensen. “Just hit the green button.

“Jared,”

“Oh, come on. he’ll be so confused,”

“Ok.” Jared chuckled as you tapped the icon.

Jensen answered but all you saw was sky. “Hey bud, can I call you back, I promised I would call...”

“Me?”

He looked at the phone when he heard your voice. “Hey!”

“Hi.” You giggled.

“Um got a question for you sweetheart.”

“Shoot.”

“Why do you have Jared’s phone?”

“I pick-pocketed him last night and his phone is just way better than mine.”

Jensen, Jared, and Mac all laughed.

“Why do I hear his dumb laugh then?”

“Hey, buddy.” Jared leaned into the screen.

“What’s up?’

“Hanging out, Grabbing some coffee.”

Jensen nodded. “So, you guys hang out now?”

“Well yeah didn’t you hear?” you asked, and Jensen raised his eyebrows “I’m Jared’s new best friend.”

“Sorry, Bruh” Jared teased

“Alright, I’ll take Mac.”

“Um, the hell you will.”

“You can’t have both of them. That’s just not fair.”

“Well doll face, sometimes life just isn’t far.”

Jensen laughed. The barista called out Jared’s name and he went up to the window.

“Hey Jared, I’m not stealing your phone. Just going to sit down.” Jensen laughed again.

You and Mac went over to a table and sat. Jared joined you after he grabbed his coffee.

“So, how’d you end up hanging out with Padalecki?” Jensen asked.

“Mac and I wanted coffee. So, we came to Ghouls, and guess who we ran into?

“Oh my gosh. Who?”

“Jared freaking Padalecki!”

“No. Freaking. Way.”

“True story.”

“Hey, can I call you right back?”

“Sure.” He puckered his lips and hung up.

“Ok then.” You said disappointed.

“I got a 10-dollar bill that says he will be here soon,” Jared said.

“I’m not taking that bet,” Mac said.

“So, (y/n) how was the rest of your date?” Jared asked you.

“Good.”

“That’s all I get? Where’d you go after Paperboy?”

“Wimberly Zipline Adventures.” You narrowed your eyes at him. “Did he really not tell you about it?”

“Well, we didn’t really focus on the activities.”

“You gonna tell me what that means exactly?”

“Nope,” he pretended to lock his lips.

You rolled your eyes. “So, Where’s Gen? How are the kiddos?”

He chuckled. “Gen is working today. I dropped the kids off at school earlier.” He took a drink and smirked. “What’s new with you? Where’s your boyfriend?”

“On his way.” Mac chimed in.

“I don’t have a boyfriend.”

“Yet.” Mac and Jared said at the same time.

You sighed. “I do have an interview tomorrow though”

“Where’s your interview at?” Jared asked

“Pediatric Associates of Austin.”

“You’re a freaking doctor?”

“Not technically. I would be a physician assistant. I dropped out my second year of residency.”

“Close enough (y/n)” Jared said.

“That’s what I said.” Mac agreed.

“Can I ask why you dropped out?”

Mac looked at you. “it’s ok. My mama got sick and didn’t make it. I lost motivation for medicine,”

“I am so sorry (y/n)”

“Thank you. It was a while ago.” You took another drink. “After debating with Mac, soul searching, and a talk with Jensen I decided I wanted back in.”

Jared looked up and you followed his gaze. You saw a big black Chevy drive by.

“Speak of the devil,” Jared said and you looked at him with furrowed brows. “That was Jensen.”

“In the Silverado?”

“Yes.”

You whipped out your phone.

------------------------------------------

Y/N: What do you want to drink?

Jensen: I’ll get it.

Y/N: Stop being stubborn and tell me.

Jensen: Iced Americano with cream, please.

Y/N: Was that so hard?

------------------------------------------

“I’ll be right back.” You walked up to the window and ordered his drink. You turned around and your knees went weak when you saw him walk around the corner. It baffled you how someone could look so stunning in gym clothes, but he did. He would look in anything or nothing. You shook the dirty thoughts out of your mind. He nodded at Jared as he walked past him. Your heartbeat quickened with every step closer. “Hey there cowgirl.” He said when he got to you.

You chuckled and grabbed his face, bringing his lips down to yours. His arms wrapped around your waist and lifted you off the ground as he kissed you back.

“Well, hello there, Mr. Ackles.” You said when the kiss ended. He smiled his dazzling smile, and he put your feet back on the ground.

“Here Jensen.” The barista said smiling at you guys as she held his coffee out the window “Thanks, Val. “He unwrapped one of his arms and took the coffee. “And thank you.” He kissed your cheek.

“No problem.” You guys turned to your friends who were in a debate about something.

Mac looked up and saw you walking back over. “Shh,” she told Jared. “But this isn’t over.” he nodded. You sat back in the same spot and Jared scooted so Jensen could sit in front of you.

“So, (y/n) I hear you’re a pool shark.”

“Oh, you did?”

“Yep.”

“From which one?” He pointed a finger at Jensen.

You squinted your eyes at Jensen. He looked up “Look. A cool-looking bird.” Jared looked up, You and Mac started laughing.

“Jensen, did (y/n) tell you she has an interview tomorrow?” Mac asked

“She did,” Jensen said

“Did she tell you where?” Jared asked.

“No, she didn’t.” He looked at you

“Pediatric Associates of Austin.” You told him.

“Dude, that’s you take your kids.” He turned to Jared.

“I know.” Jared finished his coffee.

“Why didn’t you say that when I told you?” you asked Jared.

“Well, I was caught off guard. Jensen said you went to Columbia, but he didn’t say anything about med school.”

You raised your eyebrows and looked at Jensen. He looked at the sky and pointed. You rolled your eyes and looked back at Jared. “Yep. Pre-med, med school, Internship, and the year and half of residency I did was all through Columbia.”

“Damn. So, you’re like a genius.”

“I wouldn’t”

Mac cut you off. “Yes, and don’t even bother with any trivia game.”

Your cheeks turned pink. “She’s over-exaggerating.”

Mac shook her head and mouthed no I’m not at Jared and Jensen, they chuckled.

“Well, kids. I gotta get this shit done.”

“Aw come one Padalecki.” Jensen teased.

“Dude, Gen will kill me.”

“Yea… I wouldn’t risk it. Coffee for the road?” Jensen asked.

“Sure.”

“You ladies want anything else?”

“None for me. Thank you though.” Mac said. Jensen looked at you.

“I’m good. Thanks.” He winked at you.

They guys walked back up to the coffee truck.

“So, I introduce you to Jared Padalecki and you fight with him? What the hell?”

She laughed. “We were not fighting. Just a little debate.”

“A heated debate.”

♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡

{} Jensen’s P.O.V {}

“So, Mac let something slip before you got here and (y/n) told me about her ex,” Jared confessed. While they waited in line.

Jensen pressed his lips in a hard line. “I’d love 5 minutes in a room with him.”

“Seems like you both have been through some rough shit.”

“Her more than me.”

“Jensen. Having the girl, you loved give up because of something you couldn’t control is not easy.”

“It was a mutual decision.” He said as they moved up.

“Still not easy.”

He sighed “Padalecki, get to the point.”

Jared continued. “Look I’m just saying I understand your hesitation now. I don’t think it’s necessary, but I understand it.”

“She is pretty great huh?” a smile spread across his face.

“Yeah, I haven’t seen you smile this much in years.” They moved up “Does she know you’re going to Vancouver tomorrow?” Jensen’s smile faded.

“I mentioned it yesterday.” He signed “Full disclosure, I’m not looking forward to it.”

“I know, but 2 weeks really isn’t that long. And it's not like you won’t be texting and Facetiming whenever you can.”

“Good point.” He sighed again.

“Trust me Ackles. I got a good feeling about this.”

♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡

{} Reader’s P.O.V {}

Jensen and Jared made their way back over to the table.

“Mac it was nice meeting you. We will finish that discussion next time.” He held his hand out

“Yes, and you will see my side.” She teased and shook his hand. He chuckled.

You got up as Jared walked over to you. “Einstein.” He opened his arms.

“Sasquatch.” You said opening yours.

“Always a pleasure.” He said as he squeezed you.

“Same, Next time bring the wife. K?” you said sitting back down.

“Will do.”

“Love you buddy.” Jensen put his fist out.

Jared bumped it with his own “Love you more.” He said turning to walk away.

“So, what are you ladies doing today?” Jensen turns towards you and Mac.

You turned to Mac. “Uh not sure yet. Maybe hit some shops, or maybe just ride around and jam out.”

“Oh, yeah I wanna see this car.”

“Ok.” You picked up your empty cup and then grabbed Mac’s.

“Thanks, babe.”

“No problem.” You said as you stood up and headed for the trash can. You could hear them talking, but they were talking too low to make out the words. You threw the trash away and turned back around. You gave them a silly grin when you found both looking at you.

“Y’all ready?” you asked when you got back to the table.

“Yep,” Mac said getting up. “I’m gonna grab a water. Go ahead. I’ll check up.”

“You sure?” you asked. She widened her eyes at you “Alright.” You started walking toward the street. Jensen wrapped his arm around your shoulders.

“Is it the Camaro?” He asked

“How did.”

“45-day tags kind of gave it away darlin’”

“He’s pretty huh?”

“He?”

“Yes, he. I’m still not sure of a name yet though. He smirked at you. “no.”

He chuckled. “You don’t even know what I was thinking.”

“Yes, I do, and no.”

“Fine.” He teased. “I still get to drive it right?”

You clicked your tongue, “Well I guess. 2 outta 3 ain't bad”

“Um, What?”

“Well, you played with my hair, and you do the nose thing, but”

“Really?!” you shrugged and raised your eyebrows. He stopped and spun you to face him. He slid his hand onto your cheek, “Baby you are so beautiful.” In a silly over-dramatic tone.

“Jerk!”

“Bit.” He stopped himself and pressed his lips in a tight line.

You gasped “What?!”

“Fuck! No, I’m sorry.” He closed his eyes and hung his head. “I’m sorry. It’s a Supernatural thing between Sam and Dean. Sam calls Dean a jerk, and Dean calls Sam a bitch.” He rambled on “I really wasn’t trying to call you a bitch, it’s like a reflex. I…”

“Jensen. I know about the bitch, jerk thing.” You cut him off “Mac and Zoey do it all the time. I’m sorry I was trying to mess with you.”

“Seriously?”

“I’m sorry.” You brought your hands over your face. “I didn’t mean to.”

“Hey.” He said as he grabbed you and pulled you into his arms. Burying your face into his chest You inhaled the scent of Oud Wood. He tightened his arms, and you could feel the tension in your muscles melt. He sighed in relief. “I thought I really fucked up.”

“I’m sorry.” You mumbled in his chest.

“Sweetheart, stop apologizing. I’m just glad you didn’t punch me and walk away.” His chest vibrated on your face as he chuckled, and you couldn’t help but joy in.

“But ya know something Ackles,” you said as you looked up at him. He raised his eyebrows “You’re pretty cute when you ramble.”

He laughed and squeezed you into his chest again.

“Can I take you out to dinner tonight?”

“Hmm, I don’t know I’m gonna have to check my schedule.” You teased.

“I’ll pick you up at 6?”

“sounds good.”

He kissed your forehead then your lips. “I’ll see you later sweetheart.”

“Looking forward to it.” He chuckled as he headed for his truck.

Mac stepped beside you “You don’t happen to have a sexy dress for a fancy dinner, do you?” you gave her a blank stare. “Alright, let’s go.”

♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡

{} Reader’s P.O.V {}

You could hear Mac cackling from the other side of the fitting room door.

“Aw poor Jensen,” She tried to check her breath.

You stepped into the lavender dress and opened the door. “Zip me?” you said as you turned your back to her. “I know I felt so bad.” Mac got up and zipped the dress. You looked at yourself in the big 3-way mirror, “I don’t think this one is it boo.” You said posing trying to like it.

“I like the black one better,” Mac told you.

“Me too, but it's so low cut.” You sighed. You walked back to the open fitting room door. Turning around you asked “Hey Mac you think I took it too far? Do you think it will cause..."

“No (y/n). I think you are overthinking this. It will be fine.” You sighed.” Stop he’s not like that and you know it.” You nodded and went back into the fitting room.

“Hey, how’s it going?” the sales lady asked as she walked up to Mac.

“I didn’t like the lavender one. I like the black one, but didn’t like how low cut it was.” You told her as you wiggled into another black dress. You didn’t like this one either.

“Maybe dresses just aren’t for me.” You said, opening the door.

“Oh, I like that one,” Mac said. “But you don’t. Ok next.”

“How many am I going to try before we give up?”

“We are not giving up!” The sales lady chimed in “I have an idea.” She started towards the front of the store.

“She is determined,” Mac said playfully making you smile. The sales lady made her way back to you.

“Alright, Try this one.” Then she handed you a white vintage western-looking dress. You took it and headed back into the dressing room.

You turned to look at yourself in the mirror. “Oh my gosh,” you said pulling the belt around your waist and buckling it. “Oh my gosh, you repeated.”

“Did we find it?” Mac asked.

You came out of the fitting room and twirled. “I love it.”

“Babe!” Mac said, smiling. “That is it. And your boots will go great with it. Aw, and he always calls you cowgirl.”

You giggled. “Well, how could I say no now.”

“Oh, wait right there. We got a necklace the other day that would look great with this.” She went and grabbed it. You lowered your head for her to put it around your neck. “Aw, you look incredible.”

“Thank you. I’ll take ”

♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡

{} Jensen’s P.O.V {}

He wrapped the towel around his waist as he stepped out of the shower. He made his way across the bedroom floor hurrying to get to his phone before it went to voicemail.

“Jay-rod.” He said after hitting the green icon.

“Hey buddy, I have some bad news.

“What’s wrong?”

“We think Odette has an ear infection. The only time the pediatrician was available was 2. Gen stayed in Houston they have another random acts meeting tomorrow. What time do you have to be at the airport?”

“2:30, but dude don’t worry about me. Is she ok?”

“Yeah, I gave her some Motrin. It helped with the fever and pain. She’s sleeping now.”

“Ok, I hope she feels better, give her lovins for me.”

“Will do. You could always ask (y/n) for a ride, ya know.”

Jensen rolled his eyes. “I’m not gonna ask her to be my taxi. And I don’t know what time her interview is.”

“I’m sure she wouldn’t mind.”

“No.” he turned on his hair trimmer and started trimming around his beard.

“Whatcha doin'?”

“Getting ready for my date.”

“Oh. I’ll let you finish. Have fun bud, Talk to you later.”

“Later.”

♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡

{} Reader’s P.O.V {}

You looked in the mirror when Mac finished your hair. “Oh, I love it.” She did a half-up going back in braids look and curled the hair that rested on your shoulders.

“Good. Now sit down and let me do your makeup.”

“Nothing too.”

“Yes, I know nothing too fancy. Plus, you have neutral colors on anyway.”

“Alright love,” she said as she finished. “You look freaking stunning!”

You stood up and looked in your bathroom mirror. “Mac you are a miracle worker.”

“Please. You’d be gorgeous without it.”

You smiled. “Thank you.”

“Anytime.”

“What time is it?” you asked sliding your boots on.

Mac looked at her watch “5:45. At least you’re not freaking out this time.”

“Yeah, not on the outside.” You heard the doorbell. “Early again.”

“That’s not a bad thing.” She said walking out of your room to go get the door.

You took one last look in the mirror and headed downstairs.

You heard Mac and Jensen in the living room. You took the back stairs to walk out of the kitchen. You stopped mid-step in the living room doorway when you saw him. His shaggy brown hair framed his face. That black suit jacket with brown accents and a black button-up shirt underneath. Black slacks that hugged his hips. You swallowed hard as your heart raced. He licked his lips, and a smile spread over his face.

“Well look at you cowgirl.” He said as he started walking towards you. “You look absolutely stunning.”

“Me? Have you looked in a mirror, Mr. Ackles.?”

“I’d rather look at you,” he said with raised brows. Your cheeks turned pink, and he smirked. “You ready?”

“Yep.” He gestured for you to go first. You started walking towards the door and he followed.

“Do you wanna take my truck or your car?” He said shutting the door behind him.

“Depends, can you drive a stick?” He gave you an unamused look and you giggled. “We can take Beau if you want. I did tell you that could drive him”

He chuckled. “Beau?”

“Yeah, Mac gave me the idea.” He smiled when the realization showed in your eyes. “Motherfucker. Let me guess, one of your characters.”

“Yeah kinda.”

“Dang it. I really liked Beau.” You admitted walking to the car.

“What Beau were you thinking of?”

“Well, Duke of course.”

He came around to the passenger side and opened your door. Then he made his way to the driver’s side. He sat down and readjusted the seat and mirror. “Why do you have to change it?

“Because it’s lame to name him after one of your characters. Don’t you think?”

“No, and technically you didn’t name him after Beau Arlen.” He started the car. Beau’s engine purred. “He sounds good though. What year is it?”

“He is a 2019 Zl1 6-speed with a V8 and 650 horsepower.” He smiled at you. “Yeah, he’s badass.” Your phone connected via Bluetooth and Teardrops on My Guitar starts to play. He looked at you “What? It’s a cute song. If you have a problem with Taylor Swift, I don’t think this will work Ackles.”

“I didn’t say anything, I just didn’t peg you for a swiftie.”

“I don’t think I’d be considered a swiftie, but I like her music.”

He nodded as he put the car in reverse and backed onto the street.

“Don’t stall him now.” He squinted at you. He rolled along without any problems. He turned right onto Nuckols Crossing Rd and then right again onto Teri Rd. You stayed silent watching him drive. He caught you and chuckled. He Turned right onto N Interstate 35 Frontage Rd then merged all the way left to take the ramp onto I-35 N.

Once on the highway, he put the cruise control on. Butterflies came to life in your stomach when he rested his hand on your bare thigh. You took a deep breath.

“What no car games tonight?” He said, smiling. You couldn’t form words. All you could think about was his hand sliding up under the hem of your dress... “Babe?” His raised voice snapped you out of your dirty thoughts.

You answered with pink cheeks. “Yea?”

“You alright over there?”

“Yep. What’s up?”

“Whatcha thinkin' about?”

“Nothing. Just enjoying the ride.” Oh, and you sure would enjoy that ride. You relax when he downshifted to slow down for traffic and you let out an involuntary sigh of relief.

“You sure you’re, ok?”

“Yep, never better.” Just thinking about how much I wanna jump your bones. No big deal. Traffic started to go. He got back on to the speed limit and set the cruise again. Your leg tensed this time when he laid his hand back on your thigh. Trying to stop your thoughts you took a deep breath.

“Does my hand on your thigh bother you?”

“No.”

He looked at you with a malicious grin on his face. “Oh really?” he slid his hand up an inch. Your leg muscles tense harder as your core twitches.

“Really.”

He slid his hand another inch up, stopping at the hem of your dress. “You know I can feel your muscles tensing up right?”

“And?”

“And so, I know you’re lying.”

“No. You asked if it bothered me.”

“Yeah.”

You smirked at him “That's not the adjective I would use.”

He chuckled as he downshifted to slow down for exit 234B then got into the left turn lane at the light. Heaven by Bryan Adams started to play. He started singing and the butterflies came back. He slowed down for the next light. You sighed and looked at it at him. He smiled and kept singing. The light turned green, he grabbed your hand and held it around the shifter as he shifted into first gear. “Oh, once in your life you find someone. Who will turn your world around. Bring you up when you're feelin' down” Your heart melted as he sang along.

He hit the next 3 lights green and slowed for the fourth turning his right blinker on. “I should have brought your hat. It would look good with that dress.”

“Am I ever going to get my hat back?” you teased.

“Eh maybe. I’ve grown quite fond of it.”

“It’s just a cowboy hat there sweetheart.”

“Yeah well, it reminds me of you.” Your cheeks turned pink again and he smiled.

“Well, can you at least tell me where to find it? So it's easier for me when I break into your house to retrieve it after you leave?”

His head raised as he let out a laugh. “It’s in my bedroom.”

“Hm. Maybe I should break in before you leave.”

He looked at you and raised his eyebrows. “That could be fun.” You giggled.

He turned as the light turned green and then left at the next light. He slowed down and pulled into the valet lane.

“Really? You’re gonna let some valet drive my Beau?” you teased.

“He will be fine.” You crossed your arms. “if anything happens to him I will buy you a new one.”

“Shh, you will hurt his feelings. You can’t just replace him.”

He chuckled. “You’re being ridiculous.”

You shrugged and started laughing. The valet came over and opened your door for you. “Thank you.” You said as you took his hand to get out.

Jensen handed the valet the keys and slipped him some cash. “Take good care of him ok?”

“Yes sir.” The man said handing Jensen the valet slip.

Jensen held his elbow out. You slipped your hand into it. “There. That make you feel better?”

“A little.” You said as the two of you walked to the front door. The sign read Dean’s Italian Steakhouse. ��Really?!”

Jensen chuckled. “What? They have the best steaks here.” He said opening the door for you. You rolled your eyes and walked in. With the soft lighting and the chandeliers hanging from the ceilings, this place was so pretty.

His hand found the small of your back walking to the hostess stand. “Mr. Ackles. Your table is ready for you. She eyed him up and down. Well, I guess I’d have to get used to that. “Right this way.” You followed the hostess to a table in the back corner with 4 chairs around it. Jensen pulled a chair out and gestured for you to sit down. He scooted you up and sat in the chair beside you.

“Pulling out all the stops tonight are we?”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.” He grinned.

“Phil will be right with you.” She flashed a flirty smile at Jensen, but he didn’t notice. You had all of his attention.

“thank you.” He said. She walked away annoyed. You chuckled. “What?” he asked.

“You really didn’t notice?” you said as you found the wine list.

“Oh, I did. I’m just not interested.” He said, making you smile.

“Hello. My name is Phil I will be your waiter this evening. Would you like to start with some wine or a cocktail?”

“I’ll have a glass of Riesling please”

“And for you sir?”

“Scotch and soda please.”

“I will be right back.”

Jensen leaned back in his chair. “You really do look amazing tonight.”

You looked up from the menu and smiled at him. “thank you. So do you.” He smiled back. “You don’t need a menu?”

“Nope. I already know what I want.” He winked at you

Phil came back with your drinks. “Do you need more time?” he asked.

Jensen looked over at you. “Go ahead.” You told him. You debated between 2 dishes. You made your mind up and ordered after Jensen was done.

“So, I have a question,” Jensen said. You looked at him with raised eyebrows. “Where did you live before New York?”

“How do you know there’s a before New York?”

“You say y’all, you know the Dukes of Hazzard, and you like country music. I’m thinking somewhere south.”

“So, I can’t be a Yankee and like those things?”

“Also, you said you talked your mom into moving to New York after your dad passed.” He chuckled. “And you just used the term Yankee.”

“Wow look at you Ackles, you paid attention. I grew up in a very small town in Michigan. So, no I’m not from the South, but I inherited the mannerisms and taste from my mama.”

“Let me guess. Texas?”

“Did ya think she was randomly a Cowboys fan? We had planned to move back down here once I got my surgical licenses and certifications.”

“Was she from Dallas?”

“No, Canton.” You took a drink of your wine.

“So how did you meet Mac?”

“Oh, she’s from Saugatuck too.” He gave you a confused look. “That very small town in Michigan I mentioned. I really didn’t think I had a shot at Columbia, so my mom’s college was my backup school. Mac and I both got accepted at Texas University. She understood that I couldn’t say no when I finally got my acceptance letter from Columbia.”

“Interesting.”

“Yeah, I guess so.” You took another drink, “Your turn.”

“Oh, darlin’ I really ain’t interesting.”

“Right.” You said in a sarcastic tone.

He chuckled. “What do you wanna know?”

“Everything.” His cheeks turned pink as a grin spread on his face.

“Miss your Seafood Risotto and your New York strip. Would you like another glass of wine?”

You looked at Jensen. “I can drive if you wanna drink babe.”

“You sure?” Jensen nodded.” Yes please.”

“Coming right up.”

You were looking at his steak as he cut it. “Can I help you?” He asked.

“Nope.” You looked back at your plate. “Just looks pretty tasty.”

He chuckled. “Ya know you’re lucky you're cute.” He said as he held a bite in your direction. “I usually don’t share my steak.”

“Aw, how sweet. Thank you for letting me put your meat in my mouth.” You took the bite, and he threw his head back laughing. “Damn. That’s a good steak.”

“Probably the best meat you’ve ever had in your mouth huh?”

“I don’t know haven’t had it yet.” He laughed again.” Oh, you meant the steak. Yes, it’s delicious.”

“Yet being the keyword there.” He smirked. “What did you get again?” You fed him a bite. “That’s pretty damn good too.”

♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡

{} Jensen’s P.O.V {}

“Hey, what time is your interview tomorrow?” He asked as he sat down in the driver’s seat of her car.

“8:30. Why?”

“Just wondering.” Should I ask her for a ride? He debated

“What time is your flight?” she asked.

“I have to be at the airport at 2:30.” Or would it be harder to leave?

He pushed the clutch in as he shifted the car into first and gave it gas. “Is Jared taking you to the airport?” she asked.

“Well, that was the plan, but his youngest has an ear infection and Gen ended up staying in Houston. So, he’s gotta take her to the doctor.” He explained stopping at the red light.

“Do you need a ride?”

“You don’t have to.”

“Jensen. It’s not a problem. Mac has to work tomorrow. So literally the only thing I have planned is my interview.”

“I’d appreciate it.” He grabbed her hand and laced their fingers around the gear stick again.

“Like I said. Not a problem.” He heard her take a deep breath, “So any more plans for tonight Ackles?”

“Maybe. Did you have something in mind?”

“Maybe. Is your place far?” She waggled her eyebrows.

“Um..” Really? He was at a loss for words. “N- no, not too far.”

His body tensed as she leaned towards him. “Good.” His breath hitched when he felt her warm breath on his ear. She leaned back in her seat smirking. “Because I’d like my hat back.”

♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡

♡♡ Tag List ♡♡

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#jensen fanfic #jensen fucking ackles #jensen ackles fanfic #spn #supernatural #spnfandom #jensen ackles #jensen and jared #jensen x reader #jensen x y/n #jensen x you #spn fandom #female reader #x reader #reader insert #big sky #fluff

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icarusflewsworld · 2 days ago

Text

Rhysand & Cassian & Azriel X OC

Hello, here is the chapter 4 of a fanfiction on the world of Acotar where our three favorite Batboys are the mates of a single woman.

I hope you like it! Don't hesitate to let me know if you prefer the OC to become y/n and/or gender neutral.

Also, I apologize for any mistakes you might find, I'm just a French girl doing her best with Google Translate and her average score of 5 in English classe.

! Don't forget to read the previous chapters ! : Here

Happy reading!

Chapitre 4

Luxiana laughed silently as she made an apologetic face at the three Illyrians, asking them silently to forgive Nesta's behavior.

They sat down around the table, leaving Tamlin's sleeping body on the ground, which Lucien and Feyre had gently put his back against a wall, waiting for him to wake up. Nesta had taken her place at the end of the table, and Elain at her side soon found herself facing Lucien. Feyre positioned herself at the redhead's side and Rhysand, to Feyre's dismay, took his place beside her. Cassian and Azriel sat in front of them, with Luxiana at the end of the table between Rhys and Cassian.

Dinner was very tense. Nesta didn’t stop throwing cutting remarks at Feyre and Lucien defended her, although he was quieter with Elain, to whom he only gave blushing glances.

As for Cassian, Rhysand and Azriel, who understood nothing of the animosity between the sisters, remained silent, not caring how Feyre was treated or what had happened to them. That said, giving sideways glances at the pretty blonde at their side, the three Illyrians could see that she’d lowered her head. Their soulmate seemed saddened by the quarrel between the three Archerons, and this was what made them curious and wanting to know more about the situation.

Azriel tried to find out more and Elain vaguely explained that they didn’t take care of Feyre when they should have. Cassian was irritated to see the situation impact his soul mate, so he wasn’t able to restrain himself from throwing bad remarks at the viper who was their host. Rhysand, as a good high lord, had to contain his anger despite wanting to do the same as Cassian, and so, he deviates the conversation to the subject of the queens, the meeting and the letter he would like to send them.

Luxiana kept her eyes focused on her plate, her head bowed, her eyes sad. She didn’t listen to any of the conversation, her thoughts still focus on what Feyre told her she'd been through in the past few months. She was sad, and she knew she couldn't totally hide her sadness when she raised her head from time to time to pretend to listen to the sisters' words, but she couldn't stop her heart from breaking. She had let Feyre suffer. She failed to protect her despite the fact that Feyre saved her life. She couldn't make the same mistake again. She couldn't let Feyre go back on the other side of the wall. At least, not alone.

“Write the letter to the queens, Elain and I will go post it tomorrow. We're leaving,” said Nesta, rising from the table with an air of disdain that allowed Luxiana to shake her head and come back to herself. “Luxiana will show you your rooms.”

They both disappeared, allowing the atmosphere in the room to lighten a little.

Feyre turned a somewhat shocked gaze on Luxiana, realizing something. “Do you live here?”

Luxiana nodded, smiling. “They offered it to me when they realized I was sticking to them all the time. Besides, I'd almost settled here in spite of them anyway, so it was easier to keep an eye on them.”

“Wow,” exclaimed Cassian with shining eyes, “you've managed to charm that viper?”

He was undoubtedly talking about Nesta, which caused Luxiana to burst out laughing uncontrollably.

Cassian began to feel pride swell in his chest at the hilarity he had provoked in the blonde. Azriel couldn't believe her ears. How was it possible to have such a melodious laugh and look so beautiful? Rhysand had to hold on to the table with both hands, his whole body tickling.

“Do you doubt my capacity for seduction, Commander of the Armies? I can charm anyone when I want to,” Luxiana said with a smirk, winking at the brunette with the red siphons.

Cassian had to brace himself to keep the member between his thighs from swelling. This woman was his soul mate, damn it, he could feel it in his bones, in his heart, under his skin.

Azriel felt a wave of jealousy and anger devour him from the inside. He didn't want her to charm anyone, just him, and she'd already succeeded very well.

Cassian was his best friend, but Rhysand could have sworn he'd have ripped his skin off if he wasn't also his soulmate's mate.

“You haven't changed a bit,” exclaimed Feyre.

“What?” smiled Luxiana, already knowing full well what her best friend was going to say.

“Stop flirting with everyone,” mocked Feyre.

The three brothers couldn't help but tense up even more, gritting their teeth. They really didn't like hearing that their mate had already flirted with men before them. They felt even more irritated than before. Although Cassian's ego took a whack at the understanding that she didn’t only flirt with him and that he has then nothing special, his disappointment was rapidly replaced by sharp anger and all-consuming frustration. Azriel had the irrational urge of wanting to find her previous lovers and rip off their hands, eyes and tongues. Rhysand had to restrain his power to explode around him and kill every man in the land because some of them had once laid eyes on his soul mate.

No matter how much they tried to reassure themselves that this woman was far too charming to have never had a relationship before, the idea that other men had already laid hands on her seemed to plunge them into an incomprehensible rage. They were so jealous that it made them feel as if they were being torn into a thousand little pieces. It was a completely strange, crazy and incoherent sensation. Illyrians were possessive, but the way they were with that girl although they didn't even know her was already far too insane. As if they could feel more emotions than before... As if… As if their feelings were multiplied by three.

***

Luxiana gave a room to Feyre, who hoped to be joined by Tamlin during the night, and left Lucien in another room with a polite smile.

“Are the three of you going to sleep together?” asked Luxiana, opening the door to the largest room in the house to allow the Illyrians access.

“Yes, as we don't know the place, it would be safer for us to stay together,” replied Rhysand.

The three brothers entered the room, examining it from floor to ceiling, then turned back to the blonde unable to take their eyes off her for too long.

“Unless you invite me to sleep in your room,” Cassian whispered seductively to the blonde.

Luxiana returned his expression. She really wasn't intimidated by Cassian or his obvious way of flirting with her, and he loved it.

“My room's at the end of the corridor, you can sleep there if you want, but unfortunately I won't be there tonight.”

The three Illyrians froze, tensing their muscles, trying to hide their irritation. Why the hell wouldn't she be in her room tonight? Whose room would she be in?

“Are you leaving?” questioned Azriel, frowning and gritting his teeth.

“Indeed, I must...” Luxiana began hesitantly, “...go and do something.”

“In the middle of the night?” grumbled Rhysand, squinting with incomprehension. “What kind of thing do you have to do?”

The blonde lowered her eyes for a second, her empty gaze shining with a glint of sadness. “The kind of thing that's not going to do me any good if you ask me, but... I've got things to elucidate before…”

She shook her head before saying too much. She didn't know if she could trust them, and anyway, what she was going to do with her life, how much she wanted to protect Feyre or the goodbyes she was going to give tonight were none of their concern.

Rhysand, Cassian and Azriel didn't like this at all. Luxiana remained mysterious about her occupations and distorted by a bitter taste of jealousy on their palates and a vice in their guts, they felt like they had a bad feeling. They really didn't like it.

“Isn't it dangerous for humans to walk alone in the streets in the middle of the night, especially for a woman as pretty as you?” asked Cassian, clasping his hands behind his back so he could clench his fists without her noticing.

Luxiana shrugged mockingly. “It is, but I'm in a good mood today, I shouldn't be attacking anyone.”

Cassian smiled for a second, he loved her confidence, but he soon lost it. He and his brothers were no longer in the mood for laughter either.

“Will you be alone?” asked Azriel in a much colder intonation than he would have liked.

Luxiana squinted and gritted her teeth, shivering. Part of her didn't like the tone, but another thought it was far too sexy. “You three do ask a lot of questions,” she remarked suspiciously as she crossed her arms, forcing herself to scowl. She didn't understand their curiosity or the point of all their questions, and then suspiciously thought they were trying to get some compromising information.

Azriel's anger buzzed in his ears. Why was she being so secretive about her destination and intentions? Was she meeting another man? Someone she would love more than him and who already took his heart? He gritted his teeth.

The irritating mix of feelings Cassian was trying to contain as best he could was insane. He couldn't stop the flow of anger and frustration inside him. He knew all these questions were intrusive, especially for people who didn't know each other, and he didn't want to sound indiscreet, but damn it, it was killing him not to know where she was going or what she was going to do.

Rhysand held back a grimace as he noticed the young woman's discomfort and realized they'd gone much too far, “Let's just say we don't want anything to happen to a woman as charming as you coming to our aid.”

Luxiana had to lower her eyes and head for a moment, biting her tongue to stop herself from blushing. She didn't believe his concern for a second, but the way he'd tilted his head and leaned forward toward her with a piercing gaze had the merit of warming her cheeks.

She raised her head with a confident look, forcing herself to appear self-assured “Your concern is touching, but don't worry, I'm used to it. I'll be back at dawn. Have a good night.” She wasted no more time, going out of the room, and closing the door behind her, leaving shocked and angered Illyrians there.

Rhysand, Cassian and Azriel said nothing more, standing with swinging arms in the middle of the room. Each of them struggled with the irrational urge to follow their soulmate, whom they barely knew, to make sure she was all right and didn't go off with another man.

“We should follow her,” Azriel gave up first.

“No, we can't penetrate into her intimacy like that,” Rhysand remarked reluctantly, his own insides making him pay. He needed so much to follow her, to touch her, to feel her. His whole body was burning all over, clamoring to be near her, but he knew full well it was overstepping his rights and interfering in her privacy. “She said she was used to it, so there's no reason for us to worry.”

“Speak for yourself I've got a whole bunch of reasons running through my head right now,” Cassian retorted with a worried look, his breathing suddenly panting. He plopped down on the bed and rested his forearms on his thighs, despite one of his legs jumping up and down in a hurry. “It's been months since we haven’t seen you smile, Rhys. Ever since you came back, you've been like a ghost, but there, in front of her, you gave the impression of being you again, of being alive again.”

Rhysand didn't answer, his gaze still focused on the door where his soulmate had just left him. He knew his brother was right. This woman was his mate, and the burst of life she had awakened in his chest was doing him a world of good. He felt alive again. Ever since he'd laid eyes on her, Rhysand was breathing. He was breathing, for God's sake. She'd given meaning to everything he'd experienced. Everything. He didn't even know her yet, and yet the mere words he'd exchanged with her had already filled him with excitement.

Azriel also detailed Rhysand. Cassian was right, Rhysand hadn't behaved like this since he'd returned. The Illyrian with the blue siphons was very worried about his brother and what he must have gone through under the mountain. It pleased him to see that Rhysand seemed to be coming back to life a little thanks to this girl, but it drove him crazy with rage because he too felt alive thanks to her. He would always sacrifice his happiness for his brother's, especially after what one of them has been through for fifty years, even if it made him tired to have to do it, he'd have done it. He would have left his brother the woman he loved. But here, with her, his soul mate, he simply couldn't think of not having her, even if it was at his brother's cost. She was his.

Cassian looked at his two brothers in turn. He could almost read their minds and know what they wanted. Luxiana. She was their soulmate. He knew they felt strange things for this girl, something beyond simple attraction because he felt the same way they did. This woman intrigued them. Her mind and body reacted in a thousand ways in her presence. Hell, there was no doubt about it. Especially not the way her body tingled whenever she laid eyes on him, or the way his mouth burned with the desire to taste her. And it wasn't just physical; Cassian had already been physically attracted to a woman and it had never disturbed him so much. Even now, with Luxiana gone, he still thought of her and his muscles burned with the desire to pursue her. She was everything and the only thing he and his brothers wanted, because she was their soulmate.

“What if she's going to join another man?” growled Azriel, mad with rage and jealousy at the thought, his teeth clenched so tightly it was hurting him.

Cassian growled as he clenched his fists, his jealousy tearing at his stomach.

Rhysand felt the same, but his good conscience was stronger for the moment. “It's her life. We can't stop her from doing what she wants.” His words burned his tongue. Hell, he wanted to give up and join her, but it feels so wrong.

“We're not stopping her from doing anything, we're just making sure she doesn't get hurt,” Cassian said as he gripped the edge of the mattress, squeezing the sheets between his fists. What he just said was only part of the truth. He also wanted to make sure she didn't join another man tonight. He couldn't help it.

Azriel was shaking, an image of a man touching that fragile little woman to hurt her emerging in his mind. “Stay here if you like, I'm going.” He threw himself at the door to open it and step out of the room.

That was all Cassian and Rhysand needed to follow him. The three of them made themselves invisible and ran silently towards Luxiana. They caught up with her in the entrance hall. They winced as they watched her rush out of the house without even putting on a coat or grabbing a cloth to cover her arms.

Luxiana stepped into the biting cold of the night and headed for the stable to pick up a horse. When she'd seen Feyre in the house, she'd forgotten how she'd frozen to death this morning fulfilling yet another mission Kaden had given her, and how she'd promised herself to take a coat the next time she went out.

The cold was brutal this evening, but Luxiana, because of her guilt over what had happened to Feyre, accepted the wind's bite on her face and arms as a deserved punishment. Her best friend had suffered far worse under the mountain because she'd been too stupid to trust herself and that she hadn't gone to make sure she was okay.

Rhysand, Cassian and Azriel followed her, flying at a distance as silently as possible, but worry, anger and jealousy made their bodies hum loudly. Such a fragile little human should not be wandering out alone in the dark night in such cold temperatures without any protection. From where they stood, they could see her arms and face reddened by the temperature in the negative, and notice her limbs shaking violently.

Cassian had to fight with every cell in his being that urged him to throw himself at her to warm her up and bring her back to the Archerons' abode. He didn't like the idea that she had someone so important to see that was so worth putting her life on the line for. He didn't like the fact that she hadn't even thought of taking a coat. He didn't like the fact that she hadn't wanted to tell them where she was going. And fuck, he didn't like the tugging, aching sensation of his body which just wanting to take her in his arms.

Azriel was angry. She should have brought a coat. She needed to be punished for going out so late, especially if it was to join another man, so the cold was an excellent way to do it for her. But damn, it was so crazy and reckless for a young woman to be walking around half-naked in a frozen landscape. It meant that the person she was joining was more important than her own life, and the idea that it might be a man drove Azriel mad with rage. If that were the case, he'd burn every inch of this man's skin that had come into contact with his soul mate and he would make her watch.

Rhysand was worried. Humans got sick very easily. She could become seriously ill from this cold. His soul mate. His fragile, human, little soul mate. He was already so worried about her when she wasn't even his yet. A part of him - which he didn't even know how his good conscience still managed to fight - just wanted to kidnap her and lock her up in his house, where she'd be safe, cherished and loved. But he knew she wouldn't be happy, not by being forced into a place against her will. And it was knowing his soul mate was happy that mattered most to Rhysand.

Suddenly, in the blink of an eye, Luxiana disappeared. The three Illyrians froze in mid-air for a moment, before rushing down to the place where they last saw her. They put their feet down, looking in all directions, hoping to catch a glimpse of her, but she had vanished.

“What the hell?” panicked Cassian, spinning around in circles, trying to catch a clue to the disappearance of his soul mate.

Rhysand's heart pounded in his chest and a ball of anguish crushed his gut as he prayed that nothing bad had happened to his soul mate.

Azriel managed to keep a controlled calm, or rather a controlled panic. He noticed the footprints of the horse his soul mate took, which were still very much present in the icy white layer of the ground, despite the thick snowflakes that were falling.

Their visibilities were reduced, but the tracks Azriel could see showed him that his soul mate had turned off to the side in one fell swoop, leaving the road and entering the dense forest ahead.

“This way,” he told his brothers in a voice louder and sharper than necessary, a voice filled with anger and uncertainty.

They threw themselves body and soul into the wood, following the horse's footsteps and chasing their soulmate to make sure she was all right. But the forest was too dense, the trees too close together, the grass far too tall for them to follow the trail properly and quickly, and above all, there were other tracks everywhere. Animals that had passed by and were unintentionally blurring the trail. All that, until they totally lost the track of their soulmate.

Worry, anger, guilt and frustration made them tremble. How could they lose track of her so stupidly? They felt so dumb. Their mate !

They searched everywhere for hours and hours, but they hadn't found her. Not even in the next village, where Rhysand had searched everyone's minds to see if anyone had seen her, but she had simply disappeared.

In the end, they resigned themselves to returning to the Archerons' home, their only hope being that she knew where she was going, what she was doing and, above all, that she would come back safe.

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