#i hope you guys like the ending ive been so scared to post it

[sharkaroni]

Chapter 10 of The Plum Calendar is up!

In this chapter, Reigen and Serizawa finally have a talk. In the end, they’re wet, cold, covered in mud, one of them’s bleeding and they’re both halfway deaf. But to find out how that happened, you’re just gonna have to read the very final chapter of The Plum Calendar.

” Like I said, aside from the constant overhanging threat of being eaten, it was one of my better vacations to date.” The fact being, it was one of exactly two vacations Reigen had taken in his entire adult life, and the other one had been pretty severely dampened by a very predictable bout of salmonella. ”Besides, you, uh, definitely did your part,” he said, looking the other way. ”You’re a pretty smooth talker, when you wanna be. And you’re not a bad kisser, either.” Reigen didn’t have time to reflect on what a stupid, idiotic thing that had been to say, because he, along with all the woodsy debris on the ground, was being launched a good few meters up into the air by some unseen psychic force.

The Plum Calendar has been a fic about pretending to be engaged to the secret love of your life so a 200-year old ghost won’t marry him and keep him in the ghost dimension forever. But it has also been about not being good enough, about the concept of deserving, about what it means to be a liar, and whether or not that sort of thing is innate.

For those of you who have been reading along, thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you. I can write 30 000 words of someone else’s sappy feelings, but I can never express how much I’ve loved having you read my story. And for the rest of you,  maybe check it out? I don’t know, you might like it.

[yanderemommabean]

Hey It's been a while

First, I just want to apologize for being gone as long as I have. Things got to a heated point at home, and I had to postpone my move until August while facing some health concerns.

Im finally out of that god forsaken house. But it wasn't easy. They cornered me, and I cried for six hours trying to just hold on until the next day when I could go.

Im so so so fucking sorry I havent been able to be on here. I know you all must have been worried sick, and I should've at least made some update posts, but Ive been stressed as all hell in my new home trying to get insurance figured out so I can get insulin, trying to get a job for rent and Sammy's meds (he got diagnosed with heart worms, and im devastated at how long it's been going on so we're trying like hell to get him better, ive been up days in a row worried sick about it while waiting on job offers and its killing me).

I got to take Pixie, and she got checked out too and I havent heard anything, so that's good! I've been sick and trying to figure everything out, and was just not able to write like ive been wanting to. I had to leave behind one person i really didn't want to, who unfortunately is stuck with my family, and its also been eating at me.

I'm alive, just stressed and sick and trying to heal from abuse and the shock of not being yelled at for being sick and scared and making mistakes.

Again, Im so sorry you guys. I should have tried to update at all, I've just had so much going on and so much sickness. I am so grateful to have you guys at all, and the sweet messages you sent me made me smile when I finally logged in and read them.

I can't guarantee an everyday post like I usually used to do, but I'm going to try and at least be back more than I have been! I love you beans. I'm so sorry for the radio silence. Everything came to a fever pitch and has been nonstop trying to get settled in since I finally got away, which was the end of August. Before that, I was sick, unable to stand up without passing out, and barely eating because the abuse was so bad that staying in my room and starving was better than any interaction. I wont go into too much detail but the abuse was another large part I didn't want to post. Just bed rotting and hoping time would speed up to get me out of there.

Anyway, this was a terrible ramble, I'll hush, but thank you all so much for your messages, and im happy to be back! Even if just a bit at a time for now until im more settled in <3

Much love!

-Mommabean

[corvusphilia]

★ HOW THEY ACT WHEN THEY HAVE A CRUSH (KARASUNO EDITION)

୨ৎ featuring: daichi sawamura, koshi sugawara, asahi azumane, yuu nishinoya, ryunosuke tanaka, tobio kageyama, shoyo hinata, kei tsukishima, tadashi yamaguchi, keishin ukai

୨ৎ notes: first post!! rq are open guys send shit IN (omg haikyuu blog in 2024!!???). also yes i plan on writing crush headcanons for the other teams as well :>

also worth mentioning this is NOT timeskip and reader is implied to be around the same age as the characters (so highschool for most and adult for ukai)

i was gonna write for the girls as well but ive been writing this for the past 4 days and im tired 😭

★ DAICHI SAWAMURA ?!

He genuinely thinks acting like he's your dad or something is a good way of flirting. Sugawara teases him about it constantly. "Do you want to ask them out on a date or to sign adoption papers?"

And I don't mean it only in the cute way. He will scold you if you forget your jacket or something. But the words quickly catch in his throat when he gives you his and you put it on for the first time. Maybe you should keep forgetting yours, actually. For no reason. No reason at all.

Will bring extra food in case you're still hungry by the end of recess. Even makes mental notes about your favorites. This guy is a GENTLEMAN.

While he does reprimand you, it's nothing like he does to his team or his friends. In fact, he seems to calm down whenever you come into the picture. Nishinoya and Tanaka absolutely take advantage of it.

Suga might be the vice-captain, but the team treats you like the second in command. Doesn't matter if you're not part of the team or even a manager. You're now the second parent by correlation.

Speaking of which, Sugawara and Asahi absolutely play wingmen. Suga will come off a bit too strongly, talking about how Daichi is such a catch and you two would make such a cute couple, while Asahi sounds like he's doing a job interview in Daichi's name, listing all his positive qualities and whatnot. Their hearts are in the right place, at least.

He doesn't hesitate much before asking you out. He doesn't want to risk ruining your friendship, but he doesn't want to live with the regret of what could have been if he gave it a shot, either.

The sun was lazily setting in the horizon, painting the sky pleasant hues of orange and pink. It wasn't unusual for Daichi to walk you home — he insisted on it whenever he had the time, even he meant he would only get to his house past nightfall —, but he was weidly quiet. He smiled calmly when you questioned him on it, giving you a look and a sigh.

He came to a stop, standing in front of you. He took a deep breath before reaching into his bag, grabbing what looked like a note and holding it in both hands before stretching it towards you and bowing politely. His grasp was slightly shaky.

"I've been meaning to ask you this for a while..." He started, his voice soft, keeping his gaze on the ground. Maybe he was just being overly polite, or maybe he was a bit too scared to look you in the eyes. "You make me... incredibly happy, Y/N. I would like to do the same for you. If you'll let me, that is." He finally glanced up, looking at you through his eyelashes and his posture still low, his eyes filled equally with nervousness and hope. "I don't want to leave any doubts, so... I'll just go ahead and say it. Will you be mine?"

★ KOSHI SUGAWARA ?!

This guy is so whipped, it's not even funny. He doesn't even officially ask you out because he makes it so obvious he likes you. Like, c'mon, EVERYONE can tell he wants to marry you already.

The type to run up to you just to give you something he grabbed or bought because it made him think of you. Which happens very often, because he thinks of you all the time.

Very affectionate. Holds your hand whenever you two walk somewhere and hugs you as a greeting and as goodbye. Might even slip in a kiss on your cheek if he's feeling a little silly.

And god forbid some poor bastard mentions your name in a five mile radius of him. This motherfucker will take any chance he can get to yap about how amazing you are and how much he adores you and—

SO supportive. Genuinely, he thinks you're so talented in everything you do. If you have a specific thing you're passionate about, be ready for him to be bragging to everybody about it. More proud of your accomplishments than his own.

Straight up introduces you to people as his significant other after some time. What? He never asked to be your boyfriend? Well, it's not like you were gonna say no anyway, so...

"Y/N!" The cold winter air causes little wisps of smoke to form from his mouth as he runs over to you through the courtyard, an infectious smile on his face. He stops right in front of you, resting his hands on his knees for just a few seconds to catch his breath before holding out a bouquet in your direction. Roses, baby's breath, and cornflowers.

His smile grows even more when you grab it, a snicker escaping him at the slightly flushed look on your face. "So pretty, right? I saw it and thought of you, so obviously I had to get it." He explains, rubbing the back of his neck sheepishly. "Don't look at the price tag, I forgot to take it off." He adds.

He waves a hand dismissively at your 'thank you'. "Don't mention it. What kind of boyfriend would I be if I didn't get you something nice every now and then?" He mentions casually, and lets out a thoughtful hum when you mention that you two are, in fact, not officially dating.

"I guess I did never outright say it, huh? That's my mistake." For some reason, he doesn't sound bothered or reluctant at all. Instead, he grabs your hand in his, giving it a gentle squeeze. "Well, no reason to waste even more time. Come on, let me take you on our first official date."

★ ASAHI AZUMANE ?!

He doesn't flirt, let's get that out of the way. His idea of hitting on you is looking at you from a distance while praying you have more balls than him and will take initiative.

If you don't really know each other much, he's scared you'll be put off by his appearance and size. If you do, he's scared you think he's too much of a coward and have no interest.

His insecurities play a huge role in his reluctance. He thinks you're so pretty, and smart, and talented, and he's... well, himself. It's almost difficult to tell if he likes you or not, because while he is polite whenever you interact, he acts that way with everyone (who takes the time to actually speak with him, that is), and he actually seems to avoid you whenever possible, too.

Gets desperate enough he asks everyone in the team for advice. Daichi just says to "Be yourself", to which Suga gives him a side eye with a "Yeah, I don't think that'll work" comment, and the two start arguing rather than actually helping the poor guy out.

Nishinoya and Tanaka are... less than helpful, as you might imagine. Kageyama and Hinata don't know the first thing about dating, and he wasn't about to ask Tsukishima, either. Surprisingly (or not), the good advice came from Yagamuchi and Kiyoko.

It basically summed up to the fact that he needs to make his move before someone else does. Nothing too dramatic, but enough to let you know he's serious about it. At the end of the day, they had a 5 steps plan written out.

He had everything set to go, even went as far as to memorize a script he practiced in front of the mirror a few times this morning. However, when he finally stood in front of you, the sun of the afternoon hitting your features just right, his mind went blank.

"Huh..." He was slightly hunched over, absentmindedly fidgeting with the hem of his shirt. He quickly cleared his throat, seemingly remembering he couldn't just stand there looking at you like a creep, and reached inside his bag to pull out a small, heart-shaped chocolate box. He took a deep, shaky breath.

"I-I, huh... I need to tell you something..." He starts nervously, his brown eyes finally meeting yours, filled with fear and sincerity. "I... I've liked you for a while now, and..." That is not the script he planned out. "You're always on my mind. W-when I'm with you, everything just feels right. I don't really know how to say this, I'm probably making a fool out of myself, but... I like you. A lot."

★ YUU NISHINOYA ?!

This fucking guy has no shame whatsoever. Quite literally asked you to go out with him before he even told you his name. I firmly believe he's a love-at-first-sight kind of dude.

Now, how things progress depends highly on your reaction. If you're a bit shy, he thinks it's the cutest thing ever, but he will take it down a notch to not make you uncomfortable. Will still flirt, don't get me wrong, but a bit more lowkey. If you just accept or — god forbid — flirt back, he shortcuts. A hot person?? Likes HIM??? WHAT.

Like, all of his previous bravado is out the window if you accept. He flirts with a few people, sure, but he never actually expects to go anywhere. It's just kind of a fact that he's going to get turned down. So when things actually go right he doesn't know what to do anymore.

It doesn't last too long, though. After he takes a few minutes for his mind to process what just happened, he's bouncing off the walls.

SO protective. We've seen it with Kiyoko. Anytime a guy looks at you for just a little too long he's growling and foaming at the mouth. Better keep him from biting anyone's ankles.

"Wow, you're SUPER pretty!" The boy stated enthusiastically, stars in his eyes as he stares at you intently, seemingly trying to commit every detail to memory. You've seen him around, usually near the gym, but it looks like this is the first time he has seen you.

He takes a step closer, determination written all over his face. "Will you go out with me?" He asks a bit loudly and suddenly. When your face flushes, he takes a small step back, chuckling. "Ah— I'm Yuu Nishinoya, by the way! Probably should've said that first."

He nods happily when you introduce yourself as well, his eagerness returning to the surface. "Well, you didn't really answer me, so I'll ask again — wanna go out with me?" He repeats, half cocky half sheepish. However, his entire face falls when you give a positive response.

His eyes are wide and he just stares at you, mouth slightly agape. When you question if he's feeling well, his ears flush red as he seems to have find his voice again. "A-ARE YOU SERIOUS!? You said yes!? Wha— am I dreaming? I'm dreaming, aren't I!?" Despite the disbelief in his voice, he's smiling — a huge, excited, thankful smile. He's not leaving your side anytime soon.

★ RYUNOSUKE TANAKA ?!

Since I already covered love at first sight with Noya and we've already seen how he's like with Kiyoko, I'm going down a different route: friends to lovers. Also because this specific trope with him makes me SICK /pos.

He's a friendly guy when you get to know him and past his badboy persona, so he has many friends I feel like. He initially treats you like he does the others, being his usual weird ass self we all know and love.

But one time he sees you laugh at one of his shenanigans and he just pauses. Oh. Oh. This is not good.

Have you always been so pretty? I mean, he already knew you were, but this is another level. Now you're like, angelic. Ethereal, even. What just happened.

Immediately runs to Noya because he doesn't know what to do or even think. He just sees you as a friend, right? A close friend. A hot, funny, amazing, kissable friend. Yeah, that doesn't sound right even to him when he says it outloud.

Doesn't take long for him to come to terms with it honestly and the entire team has to hold him back from proposing to you the next time he sees you.

He waits by the classroom's door, an uncharacteristically nervous look in his eyes. He sucks in a sharp breath when the bell rings and you stand from your desk, slinging your bag over your shoulder while making your way to the exit. "Y/N." He calls out to gain your attention, and his face immediately flushes when you look at him.

Your eyes are so beautiful it's unfair. He lets out a breath he didn't realize he was holding in. "Will you ma—" He pauses, looking at something right behind you. You look back to see Nishinoya half-hiding behind a wall, shaking his head 'No' quickly. Tanaka clears his throat and you look back at him. "... I-I mean, will you... Go out with me? Maybe? Please?"

He sounds almost pleading and a little unsure. He stutters an explanation when he notices your taken aback expression. "I know this came outta nowhere and I know we're like, best buds or whatever, but... God, I really wanna kiss you." His face goes bright red when he realizes what he just said and he starts rambling another flustered excuse. How cute.

★ TOBIO KAGEYAMA ?!

A little like Asahi, he just kind of stares at you from a distance and hope you get the hint. Totally unware of the fact he has a major resting bitch face and is looking at you so aggressively it looks like he's thinking about beating your ass after school or something.

Completely oblivious to the fact he likes you. He's never liked anyone before. His entire life has always been volleyball this and volleyball that — he doesn't know the first thing about crushes.

Surprisingly thoughtful, though. The type to get you your favorite drink from the vending machine when he goes to grab his milk box. He doesn't even think much about it, it's just so natural to him.

Also very perceptive. He comes off as an airhead most of the time, but when it comes to volleyball, he's incredibly observant. Now he's the same way with you as well. Always knows what you're feeling before you have to say anything or if you need something.

And that's how everyone else realizes he likes you and tell him about it (because again, he genuinely could not tell that his feelings are romantic on his own. How can someone be so smart and so dumb at the same time).

He's in denial for a good while, but the more he thinks about it, the more sense it makes. Some teammates try to give him advice (because they don't trust him at all to do this by himself), but in the end he ignores all of it and just says what feels right at the time.

"I swear, you'd be helpless without me." He grumbles, dragging you away from the confrontation, his hand firmly but not tightly wrapped around your wrist. Karasuno had a game against another school, and one of the guys from said school apparently thought you were really cute. So much so he was trying everything to get your contact information before Tobio stepped in.

Just thinking about the situation pisses him off. He scoffs, squeezing your wrist slightly, but there's something more than just frustration on his face. Doubt, perhaps? He looks back at you, eyebrows furrowed. "You weren't really thinking about giving him your number, were you?" He asks, his voice almost too soft before it rises in tone again.

"I mean, he's average looking at best, and a shit player, and... And I'm better!" He blurted, cheeks flushing slightly. He averts his gaze, his thumb grazing over your knuckles. "So... Just give me your number, dumbass."

★ SHOYO HINATA ?!

I need to mention, he looks like he's so easy to fall in love with. Like he's so kind and considerate and with a high emotional intelligence. Very much boyfriend material I wish more people would see him like that instead of an uwu baby yk.

Anyway, back on track. I feel like he'd fluctuate between shy and bold a lot. Like, if you flirt or give hints that you might like him back, he's blushing and kicking his feet and shit, but it is very much not uncommon for him to take initiative.

Especially after matches. The adrenaline is still pumping in his veins and he barely even registers that maybe he's being a bit forward.

If you don't know him really well it's a bit difficult to tell that he has feelings because he's just. so nice. to everyone. But if you do, it's hard to miss the tenderness in his eyes everytime he looks at you.

Insists you come to his games. It's simple math in his head: the two things he loves the most (aside from, yknow, his mom and sister and all that) are volleyball and you, so if he can just mix them together, he'll be the happiest guy in the planet.

It was a tough game — Karasuno barely managed to win right during the last set. The winning point was, of course, scored by Shoyo. The crowd was cheering, his teammates screaming loudly and gathering around him, but in the middle of the ruckus, his eyes are fixated on a single someone.

He dodged Nishinoya and Tanaka and, to the team's confusion, ran towards the stands. It wasn't until everyone say you simultaneously running in his direction that they understood what was going on. Shoyo practically pounced on you, wrapping his arms around your torso tightly and doing his best to lift you and give you a little spin, almost knocking both of you to the ground in his attempt.

His smile was bright enough to outshine the sun. He pulled away just a little so he could look you in the eyes, the two of you still intertwined. "Thank you so much for being here!" He exclaimed, like his success was solely due to you — to your presence. The look in his eyes was a little different as he leaned in slightly before hesitating. Daichi called him over so they could formally bid farewell to the other team, and he gave you a final squeeze before reluctantly pulling away. "Wait for me, okay? I'll walk you home today!"

★ KEI TSUKISHIMA ?!

This fucking guy is so in denial. No, I'm serious, he'd rather eat glass than admit that he likes somebody. He's always seen relationships and especially crushes as a waste of time and energy, things he couldn't be bothered to spare.

So he's extra mean when he realizes he likes you. Is it an attempt to push you away? Kind of. Is it because he genuinely kind of hates you for the way you make him feel? A little. Is it because he's secretly an awkward motherfucker that doesn't know a thing about how to be romantic? Mostly.

News flash: it doesn't work, independently of your reaction. If you just ignore him and don't give him a reaction, he's frustrated but grows to respect you even more for dealing with his sassy ass with that much grace. If you get sad, he feels genuinely bad for the first time in his life. If you get angry, turns out you look really damn cute when pissed off and that's not helping his case either. If you sass him back, he might just get on one knee.

So he just... gives up. He still teases and pokes fun at you, obviously, but now it doesn't sound as mean. If anything, it's friendly banter. He can't deny that he enjoys having you around.

It raised some eyebrows when Tsukishima told everyone he was leaving practice early because he was helping you study. Hinata and Kageyama had to practically get on their knees and beg him to tutor them, and even then, he always looked so annoyed doing it. With you, he almost had a little smile on his face. Almost.

He snapped his fingers in front of your face a few times. "Hey, idiot, pay attention." He scolded, pointing back to the open book in front of you. "I'm not explaining it a second time." He added, leaning back in his chair and crossing his arms, his long legs stretched out in front of him.

He can't help the small grin that forms on his face when you whine about his 'mean' treatment. "You haven't seen me being mean yet, pipsqueak." He teased, looking down at you through his glasses. He exhales through his nose in an almost-laugh, his voice dropping just barely over a whisper, a tenderness in his tone you're not really familiar with. "You're lucky I kinda like you."

★ TADASHI YAMAGUCHI ?!

Dude is SO flustered around you, like, constantly. Like can-barely-get-a-sentence-out typa shit. Kei has to verbally smack him and tell him to fucking get it together — he's not gonna win you over by being a wuss (or maybe he will, who knows what you're into).

But that's mostly during the honeymoon stage. After the butterflies in his stomach start to go away, they're replaced by a deep sense of comfort whenever he's around you.

Takeda said that Tadashi would have the least trouble out of everyone when it came to dating and he was RIGHT. This guy is such a sweetie. Always saving you a seat and sharing his lunch with you and just watching out for you in general. He's so considerate :(

You make him not so insecure anymore and that's all he could have asked for. Whenever he messes up or just acts like a dork, he feels his heart drop thinking that he messes up any chance he might have had with you, but when you just smile and reassure him he falls in love all over again.

Tadashi has been profusely apologizing to you for the past fifteen minutes now, no matter how many times you tried to insist that it's fine. He was practicing his serves and you were unfortunate enough to get a ball right to the back of the head, and he rushed you to the nurse's office immediately despite you saying it didn't hurt that much.

"I'm so sorry, I promise it was an accident!" He said for what must have been the third time. There wasn't much that the nurse could do aside from giving you headache medicine and telling you to lie down for a while, and he decided to miss practice so he could stay with you while you rested.

"Does it hurt?" He questioned, his eyes soft and full of worry, and his shoulders tensed a little at your answer of 'kinda'. He grabbed your hand, idly playing with your fingers, either to calm you or himself down. "... I want to make it up to you somehow." He stated gently, not daring to look at you. "... I'll walk you home and buy you a snack from the convenience store, okay? You can ask for whatever you want, no matter the price." He paused, then added with a sheepish smile, "Well... Maybe the price matters a little bit."

★ KEISHIN UKAI ?!

Listen. He definitely looks like he has rizz. Does he actually? No. Absolutely not. Like, he has so much negative rizz it does a full spin and actually works out. Absolute man failure.

Deadass the kind to do that yawn and arm around your shoulder thing and think he's nailing it. Like, dude you're not THAT old, c'mon now.

Fluctuates between being a gentleman and just being a scrub a lot. Will open the car door and pull a chair for you only to light up a cigarette and not notice the smoke is going straight in your direction until you start coughing.

He does try, though. Definitely makes an effort to take you on a nice date whenever his money allows it (and sometimes when it doesn't). He's had flings before, sure, but you're special and he doesn't want to mess it up like he always does.

You barely heard the doorbell ringing with the sound of the rain hitting your roof. When you opened it, Keishin stood there, absolutely drenched in a dress shirt and an undone tie around his neck, water dripping down from his hair to his face as he holds out a bouquet in your direction. He sighs deeply.

"I wanted to surprise you, but my car broke down halfway here and then this fuckin' rain hit." He explained, rubbing the back of his neck. You told him to come inside and grabbed him a towel, and he started to dry his hair before sitting on the couch when he was sure he wasn't dripping water all over the place anymore.

He glanced at you, a somewhat guilty look on his face. "... Sorry I messed it up. I wanted to do something nice for once, but..." He trailed off. You sat next to him, a hand on his shoulder as you reassured him it was okay. When you suggested watching a movie since he was already here anyway, he perked up, almost like an invisible tail started wagging behind him. "Really?" He questioned, a bit baffled before trying to hold back a smile as he relaxed next to you, reaching an arm around your shoulders. "... That doesn't sound half bad, doll face."

© ─ corvusphilia ; do not steal, copy, edit, translate or reupload

thanks for reading!

[damagedcoda6669]

just wanted to let you know real quick that the person sending people your deadname + stuff about that one stealthygeek person has spread to tumblr, i literally just got an anonymous ask in my inbox with it. all i did was sigh in deep deep exasperation and delete it. why can't people leave you alone

i rlly appreciate ppl letting me know abt this!!! but in all honesty theres nothing i can do, and i already know. when i said not 2 send me birdie drama related asks, it includes thingz like this, becuz this is an attempt at a continuation of birdie drama by the ppl perpetrating this. i wouldnt like 2 be alerted abt this becuz its genuinely out of my control and i honestly dont intend 2 spread awareness abt this going forward. these ppl thrive off of attention and it wont do any good. block n ignore. this is the last time im talking abt it publicly. in the kindest way possible, these kind of reminders only serve 2 make me paranoid and anxious and dysphoric. ive gotten another ask sending me a sc of one of these asks with my deadname uncensored that i saw a few mins ago, and ik it will have a severe effect on my mental state. PLEASE PLEASE be mindful of my mental state with the thingz that u say 2 me, becuz i will see all of it. plz only tell me abt these things if ur 100% sure i can do smth 2 stop it, ive been scared 2 check my notifs all day becuz of the possibility of smth dumb like this happening while i was away (which isnt ur fault) i know u have good intentions but plz be aware of my mental state and how these things effect me. im in a bad mental state already and i have no therapist/psychiatrist/doctor 2 go 2 if i go off the deep end, and im currently unmedicated and not in the mental health system due 2 circumstances out of my control /nm /gen

theres nothing i can do abt my deadname being spread around, i was doxxed when i was 12 and im still being lolcowed on kiwifarms 2 this day. its public information and theres nothing i can do. the only course of action is 2 ignore. nothing theyre doing is illegal (4 the most part lol) so theres no action 2 take except 4 withdrawing attention /gen

edit: i rlly hope i didnt come across as aggressive in this post at all, i genuinely mean no harm towards the ppl telling me abt this and im not mad at u guys!!! im very thankful 4 the concern, but theres genuinely nothing i can do in this situation and the only outcome of this is a broken mental state 4 me. i feel icky being negative again but i just want my boundaries 2 be known!!! so srry :(

[cumulo-stratus]

BAU autism headcannons

(GIF NOT MINE)

(male reader)

CW: possible swearing, mentions of meltdowns and overstimulation, lemme know if theres anything else!

A/N: sry i havent rly posted in a while, i started a school recently and its been a rly big change for me so ive just been emotionally/mentally exhausted like all the time, but i dont wanna abandon u guys so i decided i would get something up, even if its not super good, thanks for y’all’s understanding <3

i think both JJ and Emily would become sort of mothers to reader

(not that they werent already mothers to the rest of the team but reader especially)

like JJ would totally have a motherly instinct for readers needs (like a sort of spider sense)

like if your ever nervous about something being too much or being overwhelming, jj would kinds know this and either make arrangements for accommodations or make sure you know you dont have to go if you want to.

and like she definitely wold put herself in charge of keeping your safe foods stashed on the jet and at the office

emily is more of a mother in a protective way than jj is

like this girl will not hesitate at all to go off on someone for maybe being disrespected to about stimming your chair while thinking

or like if you dont want to shake a police officers hand when your being introduced, and you get dirty/weird looks for it, or anyone comments on it? BOOM this girl will stare at them with so much animosity they’ll be scared of her shes so hot oml

anyways i thinks he team would be super accepting of you, especially if you joined after reid like they would already have some experience with autism

and like if you weren’t ent comfortable telling anyone other than hotch(i feel like it would be like a in ur file thing idk how the government works tho) spencer would defo be able to tell and confront u privately abt it (our respectful king <3)

and if you are comfortable telling the team, everyone would be respectful

i think like rossi/gideon would be a little clueless but like trying their hardest

like rossi would have no idea what stimming is but understands that like you move in certain ways or make certain noises when ur excited

and like with all his money he wouldnt hesitate to spoil u with any fidget toy u need/want or like a rly nice weighted blanket (its insane how expensive those things are)

and like gideon despite his profound understanding of others (hope yall got that ;)) he wouldn’ t get why sometimes you dont feel like/cant talk but totally respects it

omg garcia is our autism ally QUEEN im telling you

always has a big basket of fidgets/stim toys sitting on her desk and when your having a rough day shell leave you a little goodie in a brightly colored and decorated bag

i firmly believe that she is the queen at finding brands with clothes that not only fits your style perfectly but is also sensory friendly

i think she would definitely say that if she never ended up working in the FBI she wouldve started a clothing shop for sensory friendly clothing/accessories

spencer would totallllyyyy be your best friend when it comes to being under-stimulated

he will totally info dump on you and vice-versa

spencer (like penlope) would totally recommend clothing brands that are sensory friendly, but sock brands in particular

and everyone makes fun of you for nerding out over everything

also spencer would definitely get in the habit of grabbing your hands in his when you start to pick a t your nails and cuticles

like he didnt even realize what he was doing the first time but now he does it without thinking about it and for the team its normal

“hey,” and he would gently grab your hands to stop you from picking at them

“sorry..”

”youve nothing to be sorry for” (with that little reid smile oml rf[osifjgturhv)

and i also firmly believe that morgan is the best people to go to if your having a meltdown

he would stop you from harmfully stimming

“hey sugar, unclench those pretty little hands for me. there we go… good job kid.” he would have the softest smile and voice

and when he takes your hands to stop you from hitting yourself his grip is rly firm but gentle

but hotch is the best to go to for when your overstimulated

like he would make sure you know his office is always a quiet place you can go to with out questions

and he would secretly have a stash of like stimm toys in his office that he stole from garcia

his couch is always open to you, especially like late at night if you are really tired his fatherly instincts will kick in and force you to come to his office for a break

he would would hand you and blanket and a stim toy

”sit. sleep”

thats all he would say in his cute little stern but actually caring voice <3

[the-s1lly-corner]

Hiiiii~! Can I kindly ask for some reverse comfort for Pomni, Ragatha and Gangle with an s/o who is a magician of sorts. S/o is always doing little tricks and such to keep them entertained and/or amused, they are always helping with something if they want. Like helping Gangle fix her mask or whisk away the centipedes Jax left in Ragatha’s room. And overall just provide a sense of comfort for them.

Pomni, Ragatha, and Gangle x a caring!magician!reader !

i really needed to write this because i really popped off with the character anguish in the last post i dont know what happened to me but i need to write something fluffy otherwise im going to implode i love writing about grief and the inherent weakness of man but god damn!!! also i hope you guys like the new format im trying out; i think i might switch between this format and bullet points since sometimes i just need to yap my trap but other times i need the structure that bullet points give me yk

POMNI:

while pomni is not a clown, i like to think you two try to magic tricks... i think, depending on how long pomni has been in the digital world, they would indulge in you... besides, spending time with you is always nice.. you teach her the ropes of the digital world as well, mostly things that ragatha missed and the like. you always lend a ear when pomni stresses over needing to find an exit. even if you arent actively trying to escape or if you have already accepted your current predicament, you still offer your support. its sweet, really. hold the jester, its why you were given hands

RAGATHA:

i know ive used this idea before, and you said it in your ask but i love the idea of someone/the reader helping ragatha check her room for bugs!! imagine making a show of the entire thing with your silly magician abilities to try to ease the tension out of ragatha; who is obviously scared about the fact that theres centipedes in her room. as a side thing imagine putting her hair back behind her ear... or rather, making the motion... im not sure if ragatha would have ears or not but... imagine doing the motion and pulling a flower out of thin air for her. i think that would be sweet and cute. ragatha takes the flower, rosy cheeked and all flustered and and and !!!

GANGLE:

when you came to gangle and gave her a repaired comedy mask she was over the moon! you had even added some extra flair for it so its more personalized for her.. she never lets you hear the end of how happy she is! though, i feel she would be more heartbroken than before if it were to break... but not to worry! you just turn this into a night between the two of you where you mend the mask together! kinda dry on gangle ideas for this one, my apolocheese </3

[justanamesstuff]

Chapter 10 (the end)

Seasons

Matty Healy x f!reader

A/N: First of all, THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU for everyone that reads this fic and supports me. It's been a hard process to post it, a lot of big and sad things happened during it (personally speaking) so I'm more than humbled and grateful for you all <3 I hope you like the end...I love these two a lot, as I told you, it is the first fic ive ever written so it has a special place in my heart. Anyway, I love you guys! enjoy! Warnings: a tiny bit of angst, FLUFFF, kisses, couples, love wins, typos. Word count: 4 K

MASTERLIST TAGLIST

< Chapter 9

Here we are at the end of a season,

and as we depart today,

we take away all the memories

we have gathered during our stay.

- (extract of ‘The end of Seasons’) by David Harris

—----------------------------------------------------------------

Previously 

“Y/n…I love you, I’m in love with you.” he finally said it at loud, to her. Matty felt his blood turn cold.

Y/n didn’t show a single emotion on her face under Matty’s scrutiny. “That’s not even funny, Matty.”

“I’m not jokin’. Heck, I’m so far from joking.” he approached her until they were centimetres away, graving gently her arms. Her eyes started to watered again. “Since that first night…” he stayed silent, he didn’t want to overwhelm her.

Y/n shook her head. “You can’t be serious.”

“I am.” he bumped his nose with hers. “You’re everything to me since the first moment I saw you.” Matty stated before placing his lips on hers. 

—--------------------------------------------------------------------

For a solid minute, they stayed just like that. Lips together, closer like they have never been before. Matty’s heart was beating so fast that provably Y/n could hear it. He was expecting her to reciprocate the kiss, to want him back.

He waited what it felt like an eternity.

At first, Y/n was shocked, she didn’t know what to do or move. Something was sure though, she instantly felt safe. Their hearts were close, they were close to each other and it felt right. It was everything she had needed since the first moment her eyes found his. The fear was trying to win the war against her wishes, even though she didn’t want to fight any more, she wanted to feel Matty close without thinking for a minute and just be with him.

After a few minutes of Matty feeling like a teenager all over again, Y/n started to reciprocate his kiss. The sight of contentment was transformed into a smile that slightly broke the kiss, even though he prevented Y/n’s body moving far from him. He placed his hand gently on the back of her head, bringing Y/n's mouth impossibly closer. 

Matty held Y/n as the most precious person in this world because for him, she was. The euphoria was taking over his body, his senses, urging him to tell Y/n all he had kept under secret for years. Quickly all his ideas or necessities disappeared from his mind, all he could feel and think was her. 

Both of them were afraid to break it because they weren’t sure if they would have another opportunity. 

Matty started to pushed her body backwards still with their lips interwind, which made Y/n opened her eyes as he did too. In a silent question, Matty placed his hands on her tights silently asking to carry her to another room. Y/n nodded as a reply, jumping until her legs rounded his waist. 

Matty walked all the way towards his room stopping from time to time so he could kiss Y/n a bit more or keeping his eyes forward but his mouth on her neck. Once the door was closed behind them, he gently let her body rest on top of the covers of his bed. He didn’t detach himself too much from Y/n’s body, watching her from above. He couldn’t get enough of her. Matty didn’t want to scare her or do anything wrong that would push Y/n to leave his room.

Y/n whined making him weak on the knees, before bringing him down for another kiss. Matty’s hands fell on her waist as his entire weight rested on top of Y/n’s body. 

His experts fingers touched the expanse of her belly where her shirt raised up, triggering a combo of thoughts Y/n wasn’t expecting. The woman kept kissing Matty at the same time sounds and scenes of waking up during the quarantine hearing him and his ex-girlfriend fucking ripped her heart apart. Probably those things happened in the same mattress she was lying on at the moment. 

Matty noticed her disconnection from the situation asking her, “What?” he fixed his eyes on her face, keeping a wide smile that disappeared seconds later. “What’s it? Did I hurt you or…”

“No, no.” she quickly said. “I- It’s so stupid.“ the woman hid her face behind her hands, embarrassed of her own thoughts. 

“Love, you’re scaring me.” Matty took one of her wrists, staring at her intensely.

“‘S nothing.” she protested, her voice muffled. 

“Y/n, did I hurt you?” the singer repeated.

The worry dripping from his voice startled her enough to show him her face entirely, her eyes finding his.

“No, no…of course not! I’m sorry.” she pecked his kiss as an apology. “Nadia.” Y/n tried to start telling Matty about her childish jealousy, gaining only a frown from him.

“What?”

“You, her. The room. I-“

“Y/n, I don’t understand.” he said meanwhile Matty’s face keep twisting by confusion.  

“Don’t laugh, okay?”

“I will try.” Matty said, already laughing slightly. 

“I hated every single minute of quarantine when I woke up by the sound of her moaning your name.” 

“Really?” he inquired with a smirk.

Y/n cried out, “Matty!” 

The frontman fell back down on top Y/n’s body, crushing her a little, peppering kisses on the expanse of her throat. 

“Why didn’t you never tell me that?” he spoke into her skin.

“Oh, yeah, right!” she scoffed, twisting her neck to the side trying to get a look at his face. The man was still smiling. “‘Matty, hear this!’” she started her representation of that hypothetical moment. “‘Your girlfriend moans a lot, it’s a bit annoying, y’know?! Can I take her place?’” Y/n blushed after realizing her last question.

Matty prompted his body back up a little, arching his eyebrows. “Did you want it that bad?” his raspy voice made her belly twisted with pleasure. Y/n moved her head indicating a silent yes. “Really?” the singer needed the clarification.

“Yes, I spent months just trying- trying not to hear a single noise. But hell no, you have to be that vocal. It broke my heart every time.” the embarrassment was too much so she looked away.

“Why?” he asked, his face emotionless.

Y/n realized her mistake. “Because it was awful.”

“Just that?”

“Matty…”

“Y/n…”

A question struck the woman’s mind, “Did you mean it?”

“What?”

“When you- You said-” Matty felt tiny under her loving gaze. “The part you said you…me.”

“That I love you?” she nodded. “What about it?”

“How you were in love with…me…but then you were with…her?” 

“To say that I’m in love- That I’m in love with you since the first moment it’s not saying that I always accepted it.” Matty tugged her hair behind Y/n’s ear lovingly. 

“I don’t follow you.”

“You know me, Y/n. I’m not always coherent with my choices.” he pulled a face that made her giggle. “I fell in love with you three eyes ago that night,Y/n.” Matty said, more seriously that time. “You stated pretty clear that you didn’t want anything with me back then. I accepted. I just didn’t get over my feelings for a long time…or never, to be honest.” his fingertips found the apple of her cheek. “Believe me, I tried so hard to get over those…” Matty paused, lost in his thoughts. 

“Did you want to get over your feeling for…me?” she said, kind of hurt.

“No.”

“Then?”

“I’ve told you it is difficult to explain.” he shook his head slightly and continued. “I thought for a time that I had got over my feelings for you. I was wrong. At the same time, Nadia came around.”

“You already knew her.” Y/n moved uncomfortable under him.

“Yes, but we became really close when I was getting over my feelings.”

Y/n looked into his hazelnuts eyes puzzled,“You’ve started dating her less than a year and a half ago.”

“Yes.”

“What about all the previous time?” 

“Part of that time I didn’t reconsigned it either. I mean, I’m not proud of this…I’m not a saint, Y/n.” Matty explained knowing she would understand what he meant with those words.

“Believe me, I know.” Y/n tried to move from under his body, although Matty was quickly and pinned her down taking her hands over her head.

“Anyway, a year and a half Nadia came around, and I thought I was over you. I was wrong, I convinced myself I was. I started the relationship with her, and I loved Nadia but not in the way I love you.” his brown eyes piercing into hers. 

“So, what happened next?”

“I decided to stop being a twat.” Matty bumped his nose into hers. “To be honest, Hann helped with it a lot.” he confirmed, making her chuckled.

The frontman let go of her hands, running his own down her body at the same time his lips found hers in a sweet kiss. 

“I don’t know, Matty. It is a lot.” Y/n continued the conversation as if he hadn't given her a kiss that took all the air on her lungs away. 

“I know” he agreed.

“Did you break up with her? Because of…”

“I break up with her because I couldn’t keep lying. It had nothing to do with you…directly. Okay? It’s not your fault.” Matty said, hitting the nail perfectly. 

“This’s awful.”

“Me loving you it’s awful?” he tried to joke.

“No.” she blushed.

“Oh, no?” Matty couldn’t help it smiling like the biggest idiot in town. 

“Matty!” she warned him, gaining a few kisses all around her face and neck as a reply. “So, what now?” 

Y/n’s initial smile disappeared a little from her face when she witnessed how Matty got into his mind leaving her out. She let him have his minute before speaking again, not without worry infecting her blood. 

“Y/n?” Matty asked, searching for her eyes.

“Yeah?” she whispered. 

“Do you love me?” 

His intense sight, the weight of his questions made Y/n felt a bit dizzy. 

“I do, Matty.” she stated without a single doubt on her voice. 

“Do you really?” 

“Yes, that’s why it hurt me every time to see you with other girls. You said it, they occupied the place I wanted for me. I want nothing more than your love, Matty.”

“But I tried to show it…you never gave me a sign.”

“Firstly, I was deeply scared about what you make me feel. Secondly, how could I think you loved me when you spend time with me, being nice and all but then went from pub to pub with a girl under your arm? How could I think you wanted me when you had a girlfriend?” Y/n had a point.

“I made a move on you the first night!” Matty protested.

“Maybe is selfish, or cheesy, or whatever but…I didn’t want to be the girl you take home and never call again.”

“You would never be-” 

“How are you so sure? We don’t know, we didn’t know…we will never know. Now I’m the hypocrite or hysteric that said no but then wanted you to love me.” she hid her face behind her hands for the second time during that night.

“You’re not that. I don’t care what happened. We love each other, Y/n! I want to be with you, I don’t care anything else than you.”

“I do care about it because I don’t want another season to arrive with the same problems undone. Three years we were like this, without talking about it…It's not right.” Y/n clearly stated. 

“You’ll have to trust me with this one, Y/n. You have to believe that we can make it happen.” Matty sneaked his hand into hers, watching his fingers intertwined with hers perfectly.  “Please.” he kissed her again. “Give-“ another kiss. “us a” once more. “chance.” Matty finished looking at her directly into her eyes. He waited for a reaction that soon came as another kiss. 

Y/n needed to stop running from her feelings. 

“Let’s get some tea.” he smiled to her pushing his entire body off the bed and offering a hand for Y/n to take.

“But..?”

“What?”

“Weren’t we?” Matty saw how a crimson colour took over her neck and cheeks. 

“Darling, are you okay?”

Y/n frustrated ignored his hand, passing by him who was quickly to take her back into his embrace hugging the woman from behind. 

Matty whispered his words in her shoulder. “I want to take all the time the first time I get to fuck you. I still have that annoying interview in a few hours, baby.” he left a kiss sensing how her body relaxed into his. “Patience is key here.”

“Shut up, philosopher. “ Y/n giggled, titling her face to the opposite side offering her neck for his lips. 

*********

Matty ended up making the cups of tea, meanwhile Y/n waited for him at the table. “Here.” he placed her favourite mug in front of her. 

“Thanks.” she said, while he sat in front of her.

“No.” he exclaimed in a whinny tone.

“What?” she laughed.

“Come here.” he moved around the table.

“Huh?” 

Matty approached her, sitting right beside her before palming his own lap as an offer. “Come here.” he stated.

“Matthew!”

“Only person that can call my full name and not make me irk right after.”

Y/n laughed loudly because of his pout, sitting down on his lap comfortably and sipping from her mug. 

“So…”

“So…”

“We love each other.” she said looking far from him, blushing, while Matty laughed due to her reaction. “What?” Y/n asked, this time giving him a look.

Matty mumbled into her shoulder, “It’s not a business deal, y’know?” 

“Shut up.”

Y/n’s laugh was his favourite sound in the entire world.

“But…yes, I love you and you love me…I think…”

“Stop!”

“You’re so boring sometimes.”

“But you love me.” It was weird and exciting for them so say it every single time.

“I do.”

“It’s so weird for me.”

“Why?”

“It’s difficult after so many years…years, Matty! Accept that after all this time you felt the same?” Y/n huffed.

“Yes, I know. Why you care so much though? I mean, at the end what it matters is that you love me and me you.”

“Because it means, one, that we could've been together since the start…and, two, that we could avoid hurting others.” Y/n said, her smile falling a little.

“About the first, I don’t think we were ready…I was an fool-“

“Was?” she teased.

“Shush! As I was saying, I was an idiot- yes, I still am- and I don’t want to think about the what if’s…I know I made you suffer, and I know I suffered too but we’re here…together.” he sneaked a warm hand under the layers of clothes, touching her soft skin. 

“Yeah, maybe you’re right. We learn slowly.” he laughed.

Matty found her eyes, saying, “And about Nadia and Tom…it was wrong, but we didn’t do it on porpoise.”

“Of course not! Still though…we hurt them. I can’t avoid thinking that I shouldn’t have accepted anything with Tom. I love him, he’s an amazing guy but I was in love with you…I-“

“Yeah, you should’ve just ran to my arms” she hit him on the chest.

“Be serious for a minute!”

“I’m serious!” he said, and she placed her head on his chest giggling. “I was incredibly hurt by you choosing him…over me.”

“Yeah, I can see that now.”

“Understand my position. I’d been trying to be with you that first night and you were all no’s. Then I see many times how idiot asked you out, then you just avoid them…but Tom was there, and you asked him out?”

“I was trying to get over you.”

“Auch!”

“Don’t be so hurt! I’m not proud of asking him now. I hurt him really bad.” Y/n pouted a little. A pout that Matty kissed away.

“What happened…that night…after?”

“He asked about what was going on between us…and-”

“And?”

“I ended up confessing that I had feelings for you.”

Matty was taking aback by her confession. “You what?”

Y/n continued speaking like the singer didn’t say a word, “He got angry.”

“Of course!”

“Don’t be like that. I still feel awful about it.”

“Poor Tom.”

“Matty!“ she whined.

“What? I feel sorry for him! I know what it’s getting hurt by you…I pity him”

“Not funny, at all.”

“I’m messing with ya’, I’m sorry.”

Y/n pushed her head away from his shoulder, asking, “What about Nadia?”

“I told her I was going through a lot and that I couldn’t continue with it…”

“You never explained her that…you have?”

“Feelings for you, baby? No, but she still hates me.”

“Poor thing.”

“Yeah, I tried to see how she was doing, she didn’t answer. I get it though.”

“Logical.”

“Hey! I also felt bad for doing that to her. She was my friend before everything.”

“You have a thing for your friends.”

“Not all of them.”

“Mmm, I’m not sure.” Y/n said, playing with the hem of his shirt.

“Only with you.”

“Am I special?”

“Yes, for me…you are.” 

He kissed her again and again, Matty couldn’t get enough of her. Faster than he expected Y/n broke the last kiss making which he protested against.

“Why you keep doing that?”

“Doing what?“ Y/n faked innocence.

“Pushing away, as if you weren’t…still..sure about us.”

Y/n took a minute to answer, “Do you know we’ll have to do a lot of work for make this really happen?”

“It’s already happening, darling. Besides, Y/n-” the singer placed his hand on her jaw in a gentle gesture, forcing Y/n to look at him. “I would do everything for us to work.” 

“I know. But- Seriously- We hurt each other, we hurt others…no because we say we love the other the rest it’s erased.”

“Of course not…although, we can’t focus on the past when we’re trying to make the future work, Y/n.”

“I know.” she stated her words kissing his cheeks. 

“If you let me I’ll do everything in my power to stay with you till this life, the universe or whatever let me. I can’t imagine loving someone else, my love.”

“Matty.”

“I’m 100% serious. I repeat, for the thousand time, I know I hurt you and I can’t promise I won’t do it again, but I’ll do my best to avoid it, okay?”

“I hurt you too-“

“Maybe.” 

Y/n sensed his hesitation, knowing that probably Matty blamed himself more. “You’re not the bad guy here, I’m not the good girl either. We made mistakes, big ones.”

“I did a lot of wrong things.”

“Yes, me too. And the entire world make mistakes…we can’t punish ourselves forever about those.”

They left silence to occupy the space between them meanwhile they lost themselves into picturing a better future together. 

Matty was the first one to break it, “I can’t believe I wait so long to tell you.”

“It’s alright.” she caressed his cheek.

“I love you.”

“I love you too.”

The singer’s hand found the back of her neck, bringing Y/n closer for another kiss that took her breath away. 

Not so long after they lost themselves into the other, someone walked into the kitchen.

“Well, well, well…what we have here!” George startled them, sporting a smile that occupied his entire face. Matty and Y/n drifted apart, but he kept his arm, protectable, around her. 

“Not your business.” Matty spat.

“Oh, I think it is!”

“It’s not.” Y/n interfered choosing Matty’s side.

“Excuse me?” Ross interfered. “It fuck’ is our business. We had to bear with you two all this time.”

Y/n groaned and hide into Matty’s chest. “I hate them.”

“Me too.” he kissed her head.

“Did you hear her?” George said to Ross.

“She’s so ungrateful.” the bassist shook his head, giggling. 

“Stop with that, you two.”

“What’s going on?” John asked, making himself noticeable.

Y/n’s gaze met Matty’s.

“We talked…” she said.

“Aja.” George said, sitting in front of Matty. 

“And we came to terms with each other…” Matty completed her phrase.

“Good, good.” Ross’ tone urged them to keep talking.

Then was John’s time, testing the wasters, “Are you friends again?”

“We-“ she looked at him.

“Hell no.” Matty said clearly.

George turned around, talking with John, “Mate, she’s sitting on his lap. ‘Course they aren't just friends.” Ross and John laughed at Y/n and Matty’s embarrassed faces.

“I mean…I love her.” 

“We’re not friends?” Y/n faked getting hurt.

Matty got confused for a second, “We’re but… I thought-” he looked at her with a puzzled look. She laughed at him.

“I’m joking.”

“They’re in looove!” Ross mocked them.

“Yes, we’re.” Y/n smiled feeling like an idiot.

“So, you’re together now?” one of the guys asked, but Matty was lost on looking at his girlfriend. 

Matty detached his gaze for a second, saying,“Could you guys stop asking questions? We’ve just talked about a lot of things…that are not your business by the way.”

“Don’t be that harsh, baby.” Y/n calmed him.

“I hate them.”  Matty told Y/n, gaining another round of laughs.

“And we here all happy because you’re finally together!” George sarcastically scolded the couple.  

“I’m happy we can go to normal…well, normal…” John said.

The guys continued bickering like the teens they still were when all the gang was together. Meanwhile Y/n’s eyes found the closest clock. 

“Shit!” she mumbled, pushing her body off Matty’s embrace. 

“What’s wrong?”

“We are late.”

“For what?”

Y/n rounded the tabled, carrying their mugs to the sink, “For the fucking interview.”

“Fuck me.”

“She will do that later, mate. You have an interview!” 

Matty went to say something back to Ross, even though Y/n cut the childish fight off, “Don’t! We don't have time for that.”

—---------------------------

After a few quick change of clothes, Matty and Y/n ran out of the house meeting the driver for the day. 

Universe was with them that day because they quickly arrived and met the people hosting the interview. Y/n saw Matty walk away far from her even though they made eye contact constantly. 

The interview went better than she expected based on the interviewer having a tendency for being aggressive about his questions. Matty had a lot of experience with interviews so Y/n only relaxed while listening him talk about the instruments and techniques they used for the last record. 

“So, for the last question Matty…” the old man said, reading something on a paper in front of his eyes. “Where do you get inspiration for your songs? There is something or someone you have as your muse.”

The singer felt Y/n’s gaze on him and only him. Even when he wanted to say she was the reason behind most of his songs, he couldn’t. 

Matty took a short, discrete look at Y/n,“It changed a lot during the last few years, y’know? It can change depending on the season or the place I’m writing or-” Matty started explaining, but he got into a tongue tie so he chose another tactic. “I won’t give away my muse, sorry mate.” he decided to give an ambiguous answer instead.

The second time his eyes met hers, Y/n understood everything. He didn’t have to clarify more for her. 

“Okay, I get it. Well, this is everything from me.” the interviewer said to Matty. “Thank you for joining us, it has been a pleasure.” the man saluted the singer. “Stream…” he continued promoting the album but Y/n’s mind was else where. 

She was the first one Matty approached after shaking hands with the interviewer once more. 

“Everything alright?” he asked quietly. 

“Yeah, more than alright. Let’s go, we have to meet Patty.” Y/n walked towards the exit, making him run softly reaching her side and taking her hand on his. 

The end

—----------------------------------

Taglist: @sinarainbows @eaglestar31 @sugarkane1001 @brittluvs1975

[severevoiddragon]

I didn't know you were a dm, can I ask about your campaign? :00 /np

Yesyesyesyesyes you can!!!! I can't share too much behind the scenes (as much as I'd love to) BC Alien will most likely see this n Munts may see it too- Putting this under a cut purely BC this is so long bc ive ended up infodump sm-

So, it started w each character getting a letter from someone they know, an old friend for Hecate and Nivaira, and Izumi's half sibling, called Ammon. (All 3 letters were from Ammon just to be clear-) Ammon invited them to his house, as well as 3 others. Eventually, Ammon made it clear that she wanted the group (all 6) to locate an amulet, but that they couldnt SAY where it was bc. Evil can hear. BC you see, Ammon, who is a divination wizard/wild magic sorcerer had been studying the amulet, and got a dream that a great evil was looking for her and got scared. So ran away. The other 2 NPCs also left. There's a lot of plot holes but shhhh-

Anyway the party found the amulet, and the party discovered that Relania, one of the others summoned by Ammon, decided to try and take the amulet, resulting in a big battle which ended with Relania tied up and. Somehow escaping. She's still loose to this day.

The second adventure had the party meet a little girl called Ruby, and her mum. Ruby's mum was exhausted from lack of sleep so told Ruby to go to her granny's house in the woods (no this isn't a werewolf adventure). The party were asked to accompany Ruby, to ensure she got to her granny's safely. The party decided that because this nice little old lady lived in a SCARY part of the woods, she was evil. So stalked Ruby's granny, Winnie. They went down a whole rabbit hole of nettle/false nettle like plants n then decided Winnie was a night hag. And then Ruby's mum died. And so Hecate (the group's researcher), decided to see if there's any way of discovering if someone was killed by a night hag post death. There is! They just needed truesight. Noone had truesight. So, they put up a notice on the community board and hoped someone followed it.

Meanwhile, the Banducci Carnival was coming to town, and the group went to the carnival that night while waiting for the post to be found. While visiting Madame Banducci, the fortune teller (and owner of the carnival), Izumi got a lil. Hypnotised. Although he acted as normal until later :)

The next day, a cloaked figure with a kitsune mask appeared to use truesight as per the notice. They called themselves "Bob" and had an awful deep southern American Etomian (the name of the country "Bob" is from) accent. "Bob" did cast truesight on the body of Ruby's mum, and yeah, it was from a hag. And then "Bob" revealed herself to be Bella Banducci, daughter of Madame Banducci. Who then got Hypnotised!Izumi to steal the amulet for her, and give it to her. The rest of the party didn't notice.

The party went back to Winnie's house, to confront her, but. Ruby and Winnie were gone. They party then discovered how hags reproduce and then went "oh shi-" as they realised exactly what had happened.

Eventually, Hecate, who was in charge of the amulet, realised it was gone, and something happened that I don't remember and eventually Bella appeared like "heyyy I've got the amulet you idiots and I'm gonna sell it BC my mom wants me to but idc who to, so you guys give me 500gp and you can have it <3" the party managed to persuade Bella to join them (she hates the carnival), as they do a 500gp bounty (to retrieve an object)

THE CURRENT ADVENTURE!

The party follow the bounty to Sirraux', an expensive artifacts shop, ran by Monsieur Sirraux, a tiefling. It had the object the party needed to retrieve - a dwarf's magic pickaxe - buutt Sirraux didn't wanna give it up. In exchange, it asked the party to collect a sample of an interesting flora on an island far away. It got it's dwarf assistant to bring the party to the island. It was an island that Nivaira knew very well :). It was also infested with mushrooms. Currently they just got to Nivairas hometown, where all the people have been turned into evil myconids (evil mushroom ppl). Fun times!

There's also Eiwin Tamiel, an important NPC who hasn't been adventure relevant yet but will be! Just you wait for the Christmas special!!! He's a human cleric (???) and works in a small artifact / trinket shop. They're also definitely crushing on Ammon <3 Who is definitely not crushing on him back <3 I ship them sm- they write notes to each other in celestial and arghkejrjfkwf i cant share all the cute info bout them bc. Spoilers.

ANYWAY if you read all that well done, I'm impressed-

Now tell me bout your campaign :DDD

[stupidrant]

as we close this year out, i just wanted to give a HUGE thank you to everyone that has followed, liked, reblogged my posts, sent asks, or even took the time out ur day to read whatever i had to say!

I never actually thought anyone would pay attention to my stupid little rant that started it all but i knew i couldnt hide my feelings forever. Especially since gowr at this moment, is a fixation ive had that would not escape me. i became a fan during ragnarok last year and had just now chimed in around 3 months ago. Ive been in fandoms before, i know the highs and the lows and most do have a difference between them, but it almost always ends up the same especially if its a big fandom (such as this one) This was a conflicting decision for me when it came to interacting with ppl online again. Im not too into online communities like before because alot of it is toxic and even moreso when it comes to fandoms so i just lurk and am silent more than anything. In a weird way i still dont consider myself part of the fandom and just choose to do my own thing because of it. I know that sounds really stupid because i have met you guys and whatnot but the overall fandom is not for me. (I dont think it ever will be) I might be around, but im not really “there” if that makes sense. But i have to say, the fact that i even came here though and have met you guys has been so amazing ❤️ i mean i knew there were others out there like me but i was very scared to even start anything up until my breaking point. My anxiety is very bad so i tend to take things a bit slow and avoid things because of it. Im glad ive somewhat gotten over something :) from the bottom of my heart, THANK YOU! i appreciate each and every single one of you more than i can even express! Theres more i have in mind that i really hope i can get over with soon and stop being so scared to do it (and post it)😭 I LOVE YOU ALL!!!!

[quirkle2]

I was wondering if there are any rare happy ritsu moments in ur zombie au since hes always miserable I think,, like is he always miserable or is he happy/not miserable and feeling kinda good sometimes?

VWHDGDGD NO YEAH OFC HE'S HAPPY SOMETIMES im just horrible and enjoy putting him through misery

ive never been able to get a genuine smile to look right on his face in my art style either i think thats part of it. as ive said his face is just built to be mildly uncomfortable and bothered and i lean into it sm it's starting to get kinda funny

but yes ritsu is happy plenty! i think, canonically, he just seems like the type of person to me that tends to turn lemonade back into lemons. he's easy to scare and his first reaction to things is often Dread and Anxiety. he dwells on the negatives a lot and seems to be a "hope for the best, expect the worst," kinda guy, but there's a section in this post abt shigeo always loving the little things in life, and ritsu steadily learns throughout the journey on how to do that and how healing it can rly be. even if he had to grow up too fast during this whole thing and learn things a kid should never have to, the journey also gave him some good insight and lessons in other places! ritsu is smart, he figures it all out

in terms of little things here n there he's the happiest lil guy on the planet when he finds one of his favorite foods—swings his legs while he sits and munches on a kitkat bar like he's got absolutely nothin in the world to worry abt. sometimes mob does smth funny that he laughs at; for the longest time i've had this silly image in my head of mob accidentally knocking down a bucket from a store shelf and it lands on his head and he just kinda stands there and makes noises.when the noises continue out of pure curiosity about the weird echoey quality it's giving them ritsu cannot help but lose it

besides tiny things tho, when tome comes around ritsu in general is a lot happier, just cuz he has somebody to talk to that will actually respond in some way. they're sorta reluctant partners in crime at first (at least on ritsu's end) but over time and over bonding they grow to rly like each other's presence. they bicker constantly but it's almost always fond eventually, and they shove each other and playfight until mob gets antsy enough to get worked up about it. rly, tome is a godsend to ritsu's mental health—after months and months of being effectively alone with his thoughts, he finally has another person to converse with. a person His Age, too!

tome is rly good at knowing when ritsu is thinkin himself into oblivion and she's Also rly good at being the most annoying girl on the planet to yank him outta that and replace any misery with Oh My God Get Off Me You Freak. she doesn't even do this on purpose at first, but over time she learns how to tell when he's thinking too hard and, ofc, she's grown attached and she cares, so she's as obnoxious as possible to lighten the mood

when they find reigen n teru, ritsu gradually gets Much happier still. now that he knows they're safe and the gang is finally back together (and now that there's an Adult present and he can relax a lil and let himself be taken care of) his stress levels r exponentially lowered. having teru back is another instant lift to his mood—im always a big fan of teru and ritsu friendship, and i think adding tome to their dynamic simply makes it more chaotic. truly a trio of the 3 most normal teenagers in existence which will surely bring nothing but good (reigen sweats offscreen)

actually this makes me feel bad for forever torturing him im gonna go draw happy zau ritsus brb ,.,.ok imback <3

[trainerbob23]

Update: no I’m not dead, I just want to address some things.

Hey everyone, I just want to address a lot of things that happened over these past couple weeks, no I am not dead or did not get myself killed, I want to be completely up forward, and honest with everyone.

But first, I’ll address the big elephant in the room: probably around 2 to 3 weeks ago. I almost tried to kill myself, the reason I had almost done that was because there was so much stress going on around me (schoolwork, world news and even just straight up scared for the future) and all these events accumulated into to the point where felt like I thought that was the right thing to. Now I realize that it wasn’t the right thing to do. it would’ve been way worse because I had many people that were worried about me. I want to apologize for the people that I have worried. There has been a lot of difficult stuff these past couple of days (it could be roughly because of my weight gain, and I have been really insecure about my body which is the second reason)

The second reason is that I legitimately felt really insecure about my body. I felt like a big, flat slob weight that secure around. ( I weigh myself at 209 pounds when I used to be at at least 199 pounds) I just thought that was a big accomplishment at the time right now I just wanted to lose all this weight it just has been really difficult for myself to give up all these food and wine. Mom and Dad forced me to eat every day because they want me to finish it up, they are not bad people or anything, but I need to be aware of how much I eat

Possibly the reason that is that I’m probably gonna get a lot of flack for this, but I just given up hope for this world, and I just wanted to generally take a break from every social media platform but there’s a lot of people on the Internet that apparently say that your a monster if you do that taking a break from world news sort of thing. It just made me feel so guilty all around and I just don’t want people to be upset. I just felt legitimately stressed out over everything to the point where basically almost did it.  I had wanted to stay positive even after all the stuff that’s been going on, but I feel like I fail. And made all of you guys scared it just made me feel guilty as well for trying to literally kms over everything. Ive Probably just need a break in general from all the bad stuff that is happening.

I just wish there was a lot of positive stuff happening around in the world but apparently that is not even possible anymore, is already gone off the deep end so much to the point where I feel kinda hopeless for everything, I wish there was this restart in humanity as a whole, I just wish there was no war at all. I just wish I didnt desperately doomscroll so much. I wish I didn’t have this mentality, but that’s not even freaking possible anymore. This whole world has gone to shit and I’m sick of all of this world in general. I’ll try to keep living as a whole for my family, friends and everyone, but It’s a hard reality that we live in sadly. I’m not going to do really horrible stuff to myself. Maybe I just need to take a break off of here for probably ever.

I’m really sorry for not posting these past couple weeks. I have been trying to make sure that something like this never happened again. I’ll try to come back with a better mindset. I promise <3

thank you for reading everyone. Have a good one

[satorugojjo]

hi everyone idk how many of my old moots are still around!! what are you guys are getting into these days outside of pjo fandom 🫶 u might remember me as keer (poseidhn/sunapollo) ive been going by kiki for a few years now and just updated my page 💛

im currently extremely into MHA and even more so now that it’s ending next week - but just very animecore in general!

in the book world tho i read chalice of the gods and found it very adorable but also very predictable in a good way 🥹 made me nostalgic. ive also been really into city of brass trilogy by sa chakraborty and robert jackson bennett books! (tainted cup was sooo good omg)

still haven’t read murtagh - kinda scared to cuz i heard reviews weren’t good but they weren’t for inheritance either and i enjoyed the ride so much. that might be my next read after i finish RJB’s divine cities trilogy.

im still haikyuu pilled but bkdk, and MHA have me in a deep DEEP brainrot. i was more active on tiktok about anime (was my main platform) but im definitely more active on twitter now! that’s where I write threads and analysis, and shitpost, and also post art now!!! (the tag for that is #my-art).

i should take more advantage of the longer word limits to make analysis posts here like I used to do for PJO and ATLA (and if I still have any old old HP moots from 10y ago, hi to you too 🥹). maybe ill cross post some threads just to archive them better over here, and revamp my theme a little more to count the anime tags as well!

hope yall are ok and sorry for the inevitable mha posting that will happen this week! I’ll be tagging everything with #mha and #bnha if you wanna mute the tag! and with both #spoilers & #mha-spoilers for any early leaks for chapter 430!

[navy-leader]

Little question: How do you see the relationship between the four Hollow Heads?

A little complicated ! in the fewest words possible

I like to switch up my headcanons for these guys cause theyre just fun to play with and different relationship statuses give a different perception to their interactions but the one(s) ive been mostly going off of is:

- They are not siblings, and the only thing in common in anything of similar regard is being made from the same creator

- They have a weird intrinsic connection with eachother, i like to call it soulmates but its not the same way as youd think. They take on features of the other(s), which ive shown visually through their eye colors

- Weird reincarnation bullshit atla style but not exactly because noone is dead for realsies. I think i best explained it in this post, however with the added addition that victim is NOT DEAD..so we just dunno whats going on orz

Now onto the specific pairings:

- Im a big fan of chodark so youd often see me draw em in a more romantic way, but i like em in whatever form they come in, the important thing is theyre fucked up together. They are crazy codependent, being the only company eachother have for like?? 8 years?? They drive eachother crazy and fight tons but theyre all they have so they still cherish their bond. Communcation skills 0. Dark is a lot more peppy about life, while Chosen's taken to sulking more often than not but he tries to cheer up for Dark's sake. They both have their problems, Dark still tries to attack Chosen on a regular basis because of his coding, and Chosen has been trying to recover from everything that happened from noogai's pc, they try to make it work 👍

- Countering the first point on this response,,, i like Chosen and Victim as twins,, i feel it adds a layer to their (what could be) relationship, sharing the same face, same woes with their origins, but turning out sososo different but still The Same. Makes me feel some typa way

- Victim and Second are sooooo special to me, i hope they interact in future episodes;;;; The first creation all jaded and wrathful about its creator, and rightfully so! Having been given the worst end of the stick while the other, the latest creation, young and hopeful, treated the best out of all his predecessors and given Everything that they never gotten. Victim is mad salty about all that and hugely envious, but hes more on exacting his revenge on noogai and making Second watch. In another world they couldve been friends, animating/drawing buddies perhaps...

- Chosen and Second ! Weve already seen what their dynamic is (or atleast in that specific situation) so ive not added more to it. Honestly been treating their relationship as a rebound from chodark,,,,,,, Yakno chosen just got out of the house to actually talk to other people other than Dark, finds a nice sunshiney stick to his dark and gloomy demeanor and things are good ! Their relationship could be something really special if they were to find themselves in a different situation than the one theyre in;;;

- I honestly do Not know what Victim and Dark would be like together other than the crackship of "evil girls who make out with eachother as their exes watch" but yakno ! Hollowhead Whore Saturday. Honestly it depends on what kinda villain victim is and how dark is like after getting her ass handed to her

- Weve seen Second and Dark but other than that i think if Dark were alive and got to hang out with the others and Second, she would be scared shitless of Second or Dark would act as a high and mighty bastard and Second gets a bit pissed off about her attitude at some point

This got a bit long but hrhrghrheh the hollowheads r so special to me,,,the one common thing about them is originating form the same creator and they all turned out so different and yet they have so many similarities between eachother hrhrgrhrggrhhrhr

[thetobiroppofan]

one piece rant #3: ugly men who i HATE.

hello little tumblr people who i DONT!!!!!!!!!!! care about i havent been here in a hot second but this isnt a professional blog i am insane and this is an illusion you're all just living in my head anyways hello new post from me THE tobiroppo fan.

id go on a rant abt myself but this aint about me this is about the ugly men i HATE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

starting off with an agreeable one: THAT FUCKASS PURPLE HAIRED GUY FROM WANO

OROCHI WHEN I CATCH YOU YOU BIG HEADED FUCK. I WILL TEAR OUT THOSE BIG ASS FRONT TEETH YOU GOT LIKE A DENTIST WHO JUST STARTED HIS JOB. NOT TO MENTION HOW YOU BUILT LIKE A WHOLE HANK HIPOOPAPOKGUHUD IDK HOW TO SPELL HIS NAME

wyd when he and twin pull up cause me personally im getting registered to the psych ward

next one

this is the part where im glad to be a small oh little humble tumblr blog yes thats me cause

he has a bigass forehead

i can play tictactoe on that thing

not to mention those weird ass shades like go back to the dollar store and return those please they look horrible.

that fuckass haircut dont do you no good either please dye ur hair uglyuglyugly

also this applies to most one piece men but i feel like his neck is massive like way to massive like if i tried to chop his neck itd genuinely be stopped by the amount of mass doflamingo has and shockingly he isnt the only one

eustass kidd i love you but

What is this. he looks like hes buried

in the sand

he dont look real

im scared

like

i LOVE YOU eustass kidd like yk i like loud angry characters but

he scares me with that neckgame like thats thicker than those dark oak minecraft trees :(

next one is a bit controversial as well since. i am mutuals with a enjoyer of this char on tt and i dont think thye have my tumblr cause we never talked before nd i dont think they know the lore behind lobotomylegendchick4 but

The love hate relationship I have with this disgusting ill strucken poor old geeer is more bipolar than a 2018 x reader enemies to lovers fanfic between a guy from a kpop fan

because one day i wake up from my super cozy fluffy bed with my AMAZING trafalgar d water law bootleg plushie staring coldly into my eyes with that stupid fucking face

and i think "man..

I hope Caesar Clown gets his nuts torn off by a rabid dog." and then i go downstairs and trip while walking down and hit my head on the side of the coffee table and have a trip to the ER that lasts 2 days and i miss the release trailer of the new youtooz figures of mihawk arlong and buggy.

only part of that is a lie. you can figure it out.

Other days I wake up and I look at that one fucking pinterest progile that LOVES caesar clown and i think "maybe he isnt that bad" then i remember oh yeah hes morally terrible cause he experimented on kids then i turn and stare at doffy stans for like 5 minutes then think "child experimentation, doflamingo, or the things i see out of the corner of my eye that might be hallucinations cause im probably slowly losing it" then i get distracted by the feeling of

HUNGER.

i am hungry now

THANKS TUMBLR.

YOU MADE ME HUNGRY!!!!!!!!!!!!!

last part before i post this and hope the doflamingo and caesar stans dont find me and jump me and leak my address

so in the end

I actually hate a lot of ugly men

but at the moemnt i cant think of one specifically to end this about

tldr: I hate 4% of men in one piece and get hungry and sidestory: I think there is a wasp in my room however maybe im just seeing things its 1:47 am and ive forgotten when i woke up

thanks for reading tumblr blog maybe i did go insane but hey

thetobiroppofan is nothing but a humble small tumblr blog

if i go insane spread my legacy my average 2 viewers on each post

th.thank yo.

snif

sniffele.

han.thank.you.

see you guys in

some day

thetobiroppo fan out

[themostsanebug]

Can you tell us a bit about your sona and Moon?

•How do they connect with Steven and Harry?

●How did their relationships (platonic familial regardin fly boy and red phone man..) start?

●How'd you come up with their designs? What inspired them?

●Will you write more about them?

●Do you have plans to go more in-depth on their stories, or are you simply workin as you go?

●Or if you have anythin else you wanna say about them, you got people who are eager to listen and follow along!

Sorry for all the questions! I know that if I were bein asked about my ocs/sona but wasn't given any questions to answer, I wouldn't be able to come up with anythin. So I hope the questions help! I'm just very curious about all of them, and I wanna learn more =]

AWAWAA?????? DUDE THIS MAKES IT SO MUCH EASIER FOR ME TYSM?????

OKAY FOR THE FIRST ONE!!!! im not the best at interpreting EXACTLY what connect to means; but in terms of my sona, i believe it would be stuff along the lines of how similar they are!!!!! and by that i mean!!!! both strive to impress their father figures, both are scared of people leaving them (though my sona only recently got those (i dont have issues with that myself)), and probably some more things im forgetting!!!!! as for moon? xe and harry just work well together!!!!! theyre both nice with each other and make sure the other is happy and comfortable!!!!!! honestly still need to work out lore for moon, nothing is set in stone for xem just yet.....

my sonas and stevens relationship started out plan and simple!!!!!! my little guy asked steven to be is "unofficial adoptive father" and boom. it happened. little did the fly boy know he was going to end up with an actually comforting father figure who he later started to see as his ACTUAL dad. as for moon and harry..... moon just complimented him a bunch and subtly flirted and then confessed:3c

OHH THEIR DESIGNS..... well my sonas design was inspired by a bunch of things!!!!!! but the main one was a moment where i was called "fly boy" (not actually fly boy but yknow. not misgendering myself) by my mother!!!!!! which led to me liking houseflies a bunch!!!! hence the entire fly themed branding and fly cryptid sona bit!!!!! the cryptid part is just an easy way to explain why he doesnt look like an anthropomorphized housefly!!!!! as for moon? just went with what felt right!!!!! nothing really inspired xis design outside of the tag i used for xem (🌕 anon) guess xis design was just destiny!!!!!!!

OH AND I WILL ABSOLUTELY WRITE MORE ABOUT THEM..... ive made plenty for my sona and steven already!!!!!! three different stories i think? ill probably write more for moon once i sort out xis lore.......

i may go more in-depth with their stories through long text posts but im mostly just improvising!!!!!! the joy of roleplaying with these two is i get lore made for me sometimes...... /silly

I DONT HAVE MUCH ELSE TO YAP ABOUT BUT!!!!!!! RANDOM FACTS GO!!!!!! my sona also has several abilities of houseflies!!!!! some being he can climb walls, remove his head (dw he can attach it again unlike flies...), and see really well!!!!! im fairly sure some fly species also have antenna they can sense vibrations with, which is what he can do as well!!!!! while moon still doesnt have any concrete lore one bit im gonna probably keep is the fact that xe is meant to be the worlds BIGGEST people pleaser and they fact that xe has been to jail at some point before.......

APOLOGIES FOR A LATE RESPONSE I HAD TO TAKE BREAKS BETWEEN TYPING THIS!!!!!! BUT AUH!!!!! THANK YOU FOR THE QUESTIONS THESE WERE REALLY FUN TO ANSWER AND IM!!!! SOSOSOSOSO HAPPY MY LITTLE GUYS INTRIGUE YOU!!!!!!!

[enaelyork]

Long time ago in Breenthal IV (PART 2 ~ Sorry)

[Gif made by : @benmendo ]

First : thx you so much for all your support in my previous post about these two.

It was a bit of a chaotic thought about how Orson and Galen evolved on Breenthal IV and I had that sort of flash again this morning. So I wrote it all down in a beautiful, nameless mess. Sorry about that. I don't know how many parts there will be in this story (there was only supposed to be one) but I guess I'll write whatever comes to mind regarding Galen and Krennic. This can be interpreted as a deep friendship or something platonic.

I was supposed to write one paragraph but it's 3 pages...Sorry not sorry.

– I agree to follow you again but on one condition.

I look up at him and I guess he caught the look of surprise in my eyes. How long has he been doing this? Since when has negotiation been part of Galen Erso's vocabulary, he who has always been unconditional in everything he does: thinking, creating, living, befriending the worst person in this galaxy.

– Do you have a condition? Repeat I. He's smart enough to understand that 1) I'm not the type of guy to agree to conditions 2) he's following the worst example he could possibly have. Usually Galen doesn't argue when I take him on this kind of illegal expedition.

And it was this resignation that pushed me to move up a gear in transgression. This time our little nocturnal trip involves neither a classroom nor a clandestine laboratory constructed on the fly at one o'clock in the morning. This isn't about any of Galen's whims. It's my world. It was time for Galen to embark on a different type of discovery. He was ready. After months of seeing me, of guessing through my glassy looks that I sometimes slip into a reality parallel to his, Erso is going to go on an adventure into the unknown and he is so scared that he starts to act like me .

– I want you to take me home tonight.

I hope he's joking.

I have never accompanied anyone except those who end up in my bed.

– I am not your mother. I show you the way and I told you that if you got tired of it you could leave.

I lace up my impeccable pair of shoes then tuck my chaotic curls behind my ears with an indifferent air. He is not offended by the tone I use because he knows that it is a way of defending me against his attacks which further cracks the ice around my heart. And that's the worst part. He knows absolutely everything he does to me. The fact that he is the only person I still see after the twenty-four hours following our meeting or that I tolerate him much more than I do others are edifying proof of this.

– You don’t understand Orson. It's not a question of weariness, it's a question of calm. We go there together, we leave together.

- You are scared ?

For the first time since these ridiculous negotiations began, our eyes meet. I'm still standing in front of a dusty mirror that Galen only uses to reflect his thoughts, and he watches me perched on his bed, a glint in his eyes that tells me his mind is spinning like never before.

-Yes. But not for what you believe.

His words crack the air like a whip, lacerating my mind with such violence that I nearly lose my balance. Galen never had the physical strength going for him, but the impact of what he says can be as harsh as a punch to the gut. He says little, but the words are carefully chosen to hit where it hurts. Somewhere deep in my ribcage, where something pulses that I have decided to forget. Is he afraid for me? I quickly put the idea out of my head before it contaminates everything else and leaves me vulnerable to Galen's demands. But the latter is far too smart to let escape the loophole he has just opened and rushes in without having been invited, as usual.

– Do we just have to establish an emergency code? I chuckle. Him and his mania for putting codes anywhere.

– We are not in the programming class.

–Don’t pretend to be stupid.

I was thinking more of a word that would directly indicate to the other that this outing is degenerating and that we must return.

- A word ? My response should have been something like: If you think things are getting out of hand, get your shit together and go home. But instead, I play into his stupid game because I don't plan to go out without him tonight.

- A word. If you hear it it means it's too much for me. Do you want to take me to where you go out at night? Fine, but I want a guarantee that things are going well.

–And what is this word?

His eyes light up with amusement when he realizes that I have already accepted his offer without saying it.

- Treason.

I breathe loudly. How ironic. Isn’t that the word I constantly hear about myself from lips other than his?

- Your turn.

- Pardon ?

– It’s a code, Orson. You also need to have a word to put an end to this.

– In case you missed it, I don’t intend to end anything.

He is silent. Looks at me with his little air of unbearable genius and leaves me there with all my questions escaping without the slightest barrier to hold them back.

– A word, Orson. Just one.

- Sorry.

He widens his eyes, bats his eyelashes several times before snickering discreetly.

– It’s very unlikely that this word will ever come out of your mouth.

– You understood everything, Galen. Now let's go. I'm tired of this little game and we're going to be late.

However, as I am about to cross the threshold of his door, dragging him with me, a strong resistance pins me to the spot. Freezes me and forces me to turn around. Galen's hand is so firmly anchored to my wrist that one more step would tear my hand away.

– Will you promise me?

I raise my eyebrows, falsely surprised and pretending not to understand.

– Will you promise to stop this if I ask you? To bring me back here? The trap seemed to be closing on me for good. I had accepted this stupid game of code, I had even agreed to listen to this whole absurd conversation instead of taking him away by force and presenting him with a fait accompli. I was no longer one scam away from him and I noted with anguish that he was surpassing his master in terms of negotiation.

—I guess I have to if I want to keep my hand. I pause before looking him straight in the eyes as if I were about to seal an oath. I promise you, Galen. I won't leave you alone there.

—

Spoiler: I didn’t keep my promise.

I knew I was going to screw up the moment Britley slipped a glass into my hand and waved her sparkling emeralds before my eyes. I was lost in the cacophony of the music, the throes of the alcohol, and I didn't know how long it had been going on when Galen's grip tightened on my shoulder.

– Orson, stop that right now.

He had dragged me to the dingy bench seat of the bar away from my group of friends and my survival instinct had pushed me to grab a bottle as I passed and put it to my mouth to give me the courage to confront him. I burst out laughing under his nose, sure I'm making him drunk with just my breath.

- Stop what ?

Don't force me. His gaze pleaded with me as I taunted him with this bottle, still far too full for my liking. I took a sip before presenting it to him to lighten the mood but he coldly declined. Galen had refused a single drink of alcohol since we had been here, I was pretty sure of that, just as he had refused the advances and taunts of those who were surprised to see him here.

– If you want me to stop, just say so.

Looking back, I realize that I provoked it. I was drunk and the alcohol fueled all the worst things in me, starting with my pride and my anger. I wanted him to capitulate because in my eyes he was the one who started this stupid, sick game. He could have been content to follow me without discussion, without seeking guarantees and commitment to me, but obviously, things could not be simple with him, he always had to complicate them.

So he shut up. He was content to pierce me with his murderous gaze and I saw nothing pleasant in it. Galen had the gift of seeing the good in me, always and probably he was the only one in the world to do so, but it was not only in this area that he excelled.

He also showed me all my horror, in a way no one else could.

Nothing came out of his mouth, but his eyes spoke. What he let me see was how much I bothered him, how sad my lack of control made him. He wasn't sad for himself - even though he was perfectly aware that I was ripping him off - but for me and that made me all the more abject.

– If you have nothing to say, you can leave. I say, averting my gaze to meet those of more amusing people who urge me to join them quickly.

I had just spit in the face of the person who was closest to a friend in my eyes and I had done it precisely for that. Because all I would have to do is bat my eyelashes in front of him tomorrow for everything to go smoothly. Galen forgave me everything, all the time. And I turned my back on him.

----

Three days.

He hasn't spoken to me for three days.

Three days of these incessant thoughts coming back to my head.

He didn't say it.

He didn't say it when we were arguing at that bar table. He didn't say it when he saw me hug this girl and drag her upstairs with me. He didn't say it afterward, because his shadow vanished and I fell asleep unaware of what would haunt me next.

Reality.

He didn't say a word, not because he knew I didn't care. But because he preferred to remain silent, to take it upon himself rather than force me to break the promise I made to him. And it tears my heart. Shit; It's horrible to admit it but it tears my heart.

Every time I pass by his bedroom door it remains closed even though it is constantly ajar waiting for me to push it. Galen avoids me, tries to act as if nothing had happened but maintains a reasonable - unbearable - distance between us.

When I observe him from a distance, nothing seems to change in his attitude. He remains deep in thought, but I know everything is different. For the average motel, Galen is constantly immersed in a deep meditative state that helps him see more clearly in the flood of scientific reasoning that assail him.

Except, he no longer meditates.

He ruminates.

He broods and buries himself in something so dark it terrifies me. Something that not only isolates him from others, but also from me. And when he gets jostled in the canteen, once again, and bursts of laughter escape into the room, I throw myself at him to grab his arm, exactly like him that evening.

- Talk to me.

He doesn't even bother to reject me. Turns his head, stands up indifferently and takes his empty tray to put it back on the display before walking. Only his pace indicates that he is running away from me when he enters the long corridor of the programming workshops.

–Galen.

I follow him. It drives me crazy but in the end I wonder which of us is the loneliest in the world at this precise moment. Him, me. The two of us against the rest of the world?

- Shit !

Usually my swearing shocks him, but not even my rudeness shakes him out of his torpor. He doesn't stop, doesn't turn his head, moving without hesitation towards the elevator that leads to the dormitories in an attempt to escape me.

- Sorry !

The word leaves my mouth as my arm blocks the elevator door from closing on him and he freezes. Alone in the metal cage, he observes me, asking the same question as me: did I say it to stop this stupid game or for a completely different reason?

– I didn’t want to bring you back the other night. I wanted you to understand that you were capable of living with others without being afraid. He needs to stop staring at me like he does. I'll slap him, or cry, or maybe do both at the same time. In any case I'm damned if I still dare to believe that I'm ruthless towards everyone. The world is not Galen Erso.

– And you did it. I add before entering the elevator to join him. The door closes behind me and the machine starts up with a dull whir.

I wait, but only his shining eyes prove to me that he is still alive.

- I have a question.

Why did you do that ? Why you lied to me ? Am I really your friend? Are you making fun of me like they do? It was a preview of what he could ask of me. The doors had just opened to the dormitory and the only question I had was whether he was going to leave me here or let me follow him.

– Professor Lawrence told me that I had to solve the equation on the fusion of steels with crystals by modifying the first part of the calculation. He tells me that it is dangerous to want to take the risk by modifying the very essence of the materials, but I do not agree with him...

I freeze.

I feel like I'm missing the air as the cool breeze from outside rushes in in a draft.

– Do you think I should listen to him? Because really, I'm not sure that's the solution. And I've been thinking about it for three days, I can't sleep Orson... You understand. What if…What if…

He pauses, his throat tightens and I can tell in his eyes that he is collapsing.

- You were not there.

And this sentence, more than his silence, reduces my pride and my arrogance to pieces. If I wasn't Orson, if I hadn't grown up in a world different from his, maybe I would have allowed myself to touch him. But it’s also part of us, all of that, this crazy awkwardness that constitutes the very essence of our bond.

– You know what I think about all this, right? Of obedience.